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sjyuns · 2 months ago

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SOFT SPOT ┆ A PARK JONGSEONG ONESHOT

SYNOPSIS! love is a crazy thing, and you’d always been absorbed in the idea of it, 100% committed as your school’s cupid but cupid deserves love too, right?

GENRE! strangers to lovers, basketballer!jay (there’s barely any basketball in this), mutual pining, simp!jay, high school au

WARNINGS! some sexual innuendos, drinking, partying, mentions of cheating and abortion

WORD COUNT! 9OOO+

MIKAELA’S! inspired by some book i read i think… this is from my old blog eumpapas, i’m not copying anyone please… also happy mega birthday to the man who made me start watching iland🙏🏻 DNA jay this one is for you.

BEING cupid isn’t easy, and it’s definitely not a task for the weak. Carrying around a heavy basket of heart shaped tipped arrows and a bow slung behind you as you matchmake, aim, and shoot, injecting pink that knits into a person’s bones.

Many people applaud you — for so intelligently pairing up matches together. But what they don’t realise is the immense effort it takes. Cupid may be an icon of love, but you barely have one of your own. And you wish, that there is another cupid out there aiming their love tipped arrow at you.

i. ugh, men

The piece of paper in your hands rubs against your palms as you take yet another glance at the capitalised name written in neon pink before looking back up at the blond hair boy in front of you.

“Jay? I mean- not discriminating or anything but you want me to link you up with Park Jongseong?” You furrow your brows, looking at Jake with pure curiosity.

His eyes widen as he realises what this might have seemed like. “No, no,” he furiously shakes his head, “he’s my bro, what are you even talking about.”

You tilt your head as you scan the nervous footballer who’s too busy fidgeting in his seat to realise, and you think it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him so nervous — even more than before a crucial game, and you wonder what’s come over him.

“Jake, the neon pink sparkly pen? If you’re not in love with your best friend, what puts you in such a lovesick mood?” You ask, flapping the crumpled piece of paper at him as he sighs.

“Firstly, it’s a smiggle pink scented pen, get it right. And secondly, it’s not really about matchmaking, I just need your help with something.” He groans at the accusations you’ve pasted on him.

You purse your lips, “Jake, you know I don’t do anything other than matchmaking. I would really like to help, but I’ve been a little tight on time recently.”

Before you can grab your bag from the small round coffee table, he swiftly brings his hands up, stopping you from leaving. His eyes held such desperation that your body seemed to move back down by itself.

“Look, this is kind of like matchmaking, think of it as helping a blossoming couple out. Please.” His plea of desperation squeezing your heart ever so slightly.

“Has this blossoming couple got something to do with you and that pretty best friend of yours?” You raise your eyebrows, as you shoot a knowing look at him. It wasn’t rocket science, and it didn’t take a genius to know that Jake was deeply in love, fully head over heels: entranced with his best friend. And as Cupid, no doubt you had such information at the back of your hand.

Jake holds back a smile by biting his lips, eyes darting away in fear of professing his love, “look, Jay’s just been such a cockblock recently, they’ve been friends for a while but nowadays they’ve been hanging out together a lot more. Alone. Do you understand how big of a crisis this is? All I need you to do is watch him, maybe use those matchmaking skills of yours to match him up with someone?”

You look at the pitiful state of the boy in front of you, with his hands constantly moving to brush his hair back in his withered stressful state. And you can’t help it — as someone who’s all about love, you find yourself agreeing to help him, even if you were already swarmed with four other couples to matchmake.

You find the list in your head getting longer as you ask Jake about Jay, the tiny book in your head that’s filled with possible matches seeming a little empty at Jake’s description of Jay’s ideal type, likes, and dislikes.

It wasn’t the first time you’ve heard about Jay, in fact it was probably about the nth time with the amount of girls who come swarming to you with bleak hope that you’d be able to matchmake them with him. And of course, you couldn’t deny the fact that he was attractive — with his coveted status as the vice captain of the basketball team, and not to forget his matte black Porsche he drives to school everyday, it would be weird if he wasn’t popular.

But what’s all that when Park Jay had a dick for a personality. Well, at least that’s what the rumours say.

And you’re about to confirm it right here right now as you stand outside the sports hall, the squeaking of court shoes piercing through your ears as you stall by rechecking Jake’s text.

Jay’s at basketball practice till nine, maybe you can catch him there.

The time on your phone blares a bright ‘0925’, and you curse yourself for not having the guts to say no to Jake — because as much as you are Cupid, you’re also weak hearted, and you don’t know how to handle a devilishly handsome boy who’s said to have a bad attitude.

You let out the breath you’ve been holding, getting ready to push the door until it swings open from the other side and the vision in front of you turns from the freshly painted navy blue doors to a tall, lean boy with a number 99 plastered on the front of his jersey.

Holy shit, you think, and you wish you could duck around quickly and scurry away, yet your feet remain firmly planted to the ground as your eyes linger on the face in front of you.

“Something wrong, Cupid?”

You open your mouth only to close it yet again. Because despite the harsh tone or recognition his voice held, you were mesmerised. You’ve only ever seen Jay from afar and now up close, he looks like a collection of violet-tinted heartbreak and soft silver snow — as the ferocious intensity he emits settles itself in the sharp dip of his cupid’s bow. His beauty is devastating, and your task is forgotten for a moment as you take in his black hair damp with sweat and the slender set of collarbones revealed by his jersey.

The boy looks like an angel and siren all at once, and fuck it if he isn’t the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen. Even prettier than Lee Heeseung, the attractive basketballer you’ve known since middle school (who you had a tiny crush on back then.)

It takes you forty two seconds and Jay bending down to snap you out of your gaze. And you find yourself not being able to do anything but shift back as the boy smoothly ties your shoelaces which you must have left undone in a rush to reach here on time.

“Thanks,” you say honestly, voice too breathy as your veins pump with embarrassment.

He smiles softly, “don’t mention it, wouldn’t want you to trip and fall, right?”

You pause, and you hate how awkward you are during unplanned encounters. “Right,” you say, stumbling over your own words, “I mean- uhm, yeah! Thanks, but- I could have tied them myself.”

Jay laughs, and it’s a little husky as you capture the sound. “Right. You’re cute when you ramble.”

Right now, you wished you possessed the charm you usually carried when talking to other targets — bold and feminine. But with a mere sentence, Jay had the ability to reduce you to a young girl talking to an infatuation for the first time. And you think the rumours are false, because the boy in front of you seemed nothing like the playboy you’ve heard about: barely seeming to have an ounce of smooth confidence in his bones.

“You’re here for me, aren’t you Cupid? Did someone want you to matchmake me with them? Or are you on some sort of mission?” His sudden change of tone throws you off, arrogance radiating off him as the look in his eyes change. Bolder, sharper.

You think that you’re an idiot, for falling for his innocent façade, for believing those rumours were fake. Because now Jay looks like he’s playing god, with a devil’s smirk etched onto his face.

“Does the name Jake Sim ring a bell?” It amazes you how blunt he sounds, mouth tense and one corner slightly tilted down. And it pisses you off, how handsome he still seemed.

“He’s the captain of the soccer team,” you try, avoiding the question all together, “who doesn’t know him.”

The boy in front of you seems unsatisfied, “not what I was asking and you know it,” he declines, a borderline genius glinting in his eyes.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He smirks, brushing his hair back, “you’re telling me that my best friend didn’t hand you a note with my name on it, asking you to keep an eye on me?”

Fuck. How does he know?

You send him a cool grin — and thank goodness your usual calm and composed exterior is back — as you slowly walk towards him, “I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Not everything in life is about you Jay, so get lost.” You pause. “Please.”

A part of his tenacity amazes you when he fails to keep his mouth shut, and you feel annoyed at his stubborn persistence. “Everyone knows your little love business, Y/n,” Jay elaborates, making you grit your teeth. His voice is like liquid mercury, toxic yet smooth. “There’s always talk about a new happy couple and a pretty pretty girl who set them up.”

And as if on instinct, your hands move up to twirl the ends of your hair, “what about it, Park?”

“You’re telling me that Jake Sim didn’t meet you today? Look me in the eyes and say it.”

You stare into the eyes of the boy who looks like he could be a model, heart betraying you as it escalates. “I didn’t meet Jake Sim at Starbucks today. Quit bothering me, alright?”

“I didn’t say it was Starbucks,” Jay states brazenly, his head tilting in princely arrogance as you watch a small smirk settle on the crook of his mouth. “I thought good girls like you never lie.”

“Fucking hell,” you breathe in sharply, “get lost.”

Jay tucks one hand into his pocket, tugging his lips into a small smile, “You go first, I’ll follow you.”

Your cheeks heat a dark shade of red as you dread to have to tell Jake that Jay knew of your deal.

“Wait,” he says as you turn, gently grabbing your wrists. He might seem a bit rough on the outside, with arrogance lining his collarbones, but when he touches you, it’s surprisingly soft. “Don’t tell him I know. All I’ve been doing is giving her advice about approaching Jake and I don’t want to ruin any surprise she might have planned.”

You nod slowly, pieces coming together in your head. “So you want me to be your double agent?”

Jay smiles, and if you were honest, it might have been the most genuine you’ve seen him today. “Why not? Not like you’d take the chances of spoiling a couple’s confession. Live a little.”

You roll your eyes at his comment, “I live a lot, Park, maybe more than you’ve ever lived.” You pause, “ and if you want me to, you should fix that attitude of yours. God knows how you bag girls acting like a dick.”

Jay presses his hands to his chest in mock pain. “Your words hurt, Cupid,” he pouts, eyes glistening, “so are you in?”

“Depends,” you admit, “maybe if you take me on a ride in that cool car of yours.”

He thinks for a moment. “Fine.”

A smile blooms on your lips, and you’re too triumphant to notice the way Jay’s breath hitches as he takes a small step backwards, as if your aura was too potent, too powerful for him to breathe in.

“Deal.”

ii. a short guide on handling a crazy heart

The last place you’d ever think of telling your best friend, Yunjin, about your encounter with a certain vice captain was in the bathroom of a stranger’s house, with the latest hits blaring into your eardrums. “He’s got a dick for a personality,’ you scream over the music as she fixes her hair in the mirror, “he’s arrogant, infuriating, and he doesn’t know when to stop.”

“Sounds like someone I know,” she replies, giving you a knowing look through the mirror, and you roll your eyes at her comment. “So what exactly did Jay want you to do again?” Yunjin’s eyebrows raise as she asks her question for the fifth time this week, and you think if your friend wasn’t so pretty, you would have purposefully messed up her hair in annoyance.

You sigh, “he wants me to be a double agent of some sort, he doesn’t want to ruin his hard work of giving advice,” you admit, “I’m practically sandwiched between two best friends.”

“Aw, you guys are like a pair of cupids,” Yunjin says thoughtfully, “you and Jay. And I guess it brings no harm. Though you might be pissed with his personality, someone has to get under that thick skin of yours. He might just be the one to do it.”

You shoot her the finger accompanied by a glare as the two of you finally exit the bathroom to the bustling scene of the party, with sweaty bodies swaying to the rhythm of music blasting from the speakers.

“Y/n!” A golden voice calls out, making you turn over your shoulder, to find Jake waving you over excitedly, with a tall boy dressed in all black beside him, leaning against the wall coolly as he gazes at you with hooded eyes.

There’s an ineffable feeling that crawls into your stomach when you see Jay, as if he held all the power in the world to crush you with a glance. “Come play beer pong with us, we need two more people.” Jake's voice goes through your ears before leaving through the other side as you nod aimlessly, eyes trained on Jay’s figure — lean back muscles that were visible through the shirt that hugged his figure, as you and Yunjin follow them into another room.

“Me and Jay against the two of you,” Jake grins as he nudges you by the shoulder to the other side of the ping pong table, a few familiar faces surrounding the area.

“I’m out, ask Heeseung to play instead,” Jay mutters under his breath, but you catch it despite the loud chatter amongst the crowd. And it dims the small excited flame burning in your heart.

You watch as Jake sighs, “come on bro, don’t be a party pooper. First Sunghoon ditches to go god knows where with that neighbour of his, and now you?” Jay moves to comb through his slicked back black hair, eyebrows furrowing as he calls Heeeung over.

Looking at Heeseung, you realise that Jay and him were two completely different kinds of beautiful: Heeseung had a sharp jawline and soft curves; Jay, on the other hand, had a kind of edge and arrogance constantly lining the corners of his mouth, and it’s unconventional. To say the least. Everything about him was to you.

“Come on Park, don’t spoil the fun,” you pitch into the conversation, as the three heads turn towards you, “or are you scared you’re going to get trashed by two girls?”

Jay mutters a chain of words under his breath as he steps out of the tiny circle they’ve made, towards you, his gaze centred on you. And it suddenly feels silent as Jay’s eyes start at the tips of your toes, sliding across the smooth expanse of your legs and past your torso, lingering on the slight curvature of your neck before landing on your lips. Your swallow is embarrassingly audible in the unusual quietness, but you soon clear your throat.

He’s so handsome it makes you want to scream. You hate how good he looks; you hate how he looks at you, like you’re something of his affections. And you hate yourself for actually liking the attention, because even though you always state that you hate him, you know it’s not true.

Jay just gets on your nerves.

“Fancy seeing you here, Cupid. Who knew you could ever look so stunning?” And just like that, the moment’s over.

“Shut the hell up, Park. All you have to do is throw a ball into a cup, or are your basketball skills that bad?” You challenge him, and Jay lets out a laugh: a real laugh that you want to hear again and again and again, because it sounds like silver music and he’s beautiful.

And you hate yourself and your feelings.

“If that's what you think,” he breathes, as he stares into your eyes, “let’s make a bet then. If I win, you have to come to a basketball game of mine — because you’ve clearly not been to one, wearing my jersey, cheering for me. And if you magically happen to win, I’ll do anything you want me to.”

Maybe his car, maybe you could ask him to give you his car, you think as you set your mind on winning. Not one ounce of doubt that you’d be able to beat Jay, because despite not having attended one basketball game, you think that you had sufficient skill to win. He can’t be that good, right?

And once again Jay proves you wrong as he effortlessly scores cup after cup, and you’re buzzed, barely able to comprehend your surroundings as the crowd cheers his and Jake’s name. The only words you hear clearly is Jake’s extremely loud cry of excitement as Jay throws yet another ping pong ball into the last cup on your side of the table.

“See how it’s done, angel? I’m not vice captain for no reason,” he smirks as he rounds the table to your side. Though you’re half gone, you’re suddenly grateful for the dim lighting because you’d be caught dead by the boy next to you if he sees your flushed cheeks at the new nickname he’d just given you.

“Anyone told you not to randomly call strangers angel?” You hiss, as he gently wraps an arm around your waist, steadying your wobbling figure. Jay shrugs, and you huff out a breath, “it does something to them, okay?”

The boy looks down at you, thumb brushing over your cheeks — and you tell your weak heart to calm down, “what does it do, angel? Tell me,” he mutters under his breath, and he’s too close to you, because you can feel the weight of his words sink into your body as the hairs on the back of your neck stand.

“It hurts me, them, right here,” you reply, closing your eyes to tame the nauseating feeling in your brain, as your finger points to your heart, “makes their heart go boom.”

You don’t see anything, but you can feel Jay’s hands wrapped carefully around the nape of your neck, fingers entangled in your hair, as the other cradles the smooth, glass-like skin of your jaw, thumbs once again brushing with a tantalising shimmer. His breath smells of sangria and mint, and the sensation is just warm as you’re cast unceremoniously under his addicting spell.

“Yeah?” He whispers, and you nod softly.

“Yeah,” you answer, “so stop it, whatever that was. It’s annoying.”

Your eyes open and you see Jay smirking in his trademark expression, and you click your tongue in annoyance, pretending as if your heart wasn’t about to jump out of your chest.

“But that’s what you are, aren’t you? Cupid - Angel, same thing.” He replies, and you’re about to answer, but decide not to as his words swirl around in your chest.

“What are you even doing here anyway?” you groan, changing to topic as you furrow your eyebrows, vision betraying you as Jay’s devilishly handsome face duplicates itself under intoxication. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to drink when you were such a lightweight.

“Don’t think too hard, angel,” Jay teases, “or else your head will start hurting.”

“Shut up asshole,” you roll your eyes, trying to concentrate on the boy in front of you instead of the pounding in both your head and chest.

Jay grins, and you can see a little bit of evilish impurity and jaded sleekness — like a trained jaguar waiting to pounce. “Shut me up then,” he murmurs, “kiss me, angel.”

“If I kissed you, you wouldn’t be able to handle it,” you announce, and you busk in this moment because you’re sure you’d forget it tomorrow morning.

“And if I kissed you, I probably wouldn’t be able to stop.”

Your vision goes black.

You wake up buzzing out your mind, surprisingly in your own bed, with not a hint of remembrance of last night’s drunken conversation.

“Just get out, get some fresh air, it’s good for hangovers,” Yunjin says, all dolled up and ready to patronise the new cafe she’s been raving about, while you sit at the edge of your bed, staring daggers at her with your hair all messed up and head still spinning.

You groan, “are you insane,” your hand moving up to rub your eyes furiously, “must feel good not to be a lightweight.”

Maybe it’s your friend’s persuasion skills or maybe it’s just the fact that you’re easily persuaded because after ten minutes, you find yourself decently dressed and walking into the small diner situated around the corner as the striking ring of the bell pierces into your head, making you wince.

“Jake, fancy see you here again,” Yunjin shouts across the diner to a small four person booth where you see said boy’s head popping out.

“Yunjin, Yn,” Jake waves, as Yunjin pulls you yet again to Jake, exactly like how she did yesterday night. “You know my best friend,” Jake introduces, staring at her as she waves, a bright smile that could bring a boy to his knees.

“Cupid or yn, right?” She asks, with clear confidence exuding out of her, “Jay’s cupid.”

You cough at her words, eyes darting to Jake’s face as you tilt your head in question. “Jay’s told me or well me and Jake about you.” She clears up, moving your suspicions away from her best friend.

“Right,” Jake chimes in, “surprised you’re still alive after yesterday. You knocked out mid conversation with Jay and he drove you and Yunjin home.”

“Come again,” you turn to look at Yunjin, eyebrows furrowed as she gives you a guilty look.

“He had a nice car, and he offered, what could i even do with you alone,” she murmurs under her breath and you slap her shoulder.

“Actually, Jay’s here if you want to talk to him,” Jake brings up, looking around for the boy. And your eyes widen at his words, tugging Yunjin’s sleeves as an indication to leave.

“Yn, Yunjin,” and you curse yourself because Jay sounds so good in the early hours of the morning, too good, with his slightly raspy and deep voice that you wished to hear over and over.

You can’t bring yourself to look at him, knowing how you are when you’re drunk. Embarrassment swallowing you whole and spitting you out at the thoughts of what you might have done in your drunken state consuming you.

“You okay angel?” You turn around at the sound of the nickname that pinches at your heart, “after what happened last night, I thought you’d never see the light of day again.” The familiar devilish smirk is cued and you know you shouldn’t be trusting him yet you are as your cheeks heat up.

Jay chuckles at your abashed state as he gazes at you, wondering how you looked so good even in a plain white shirt and shorts. Like an angel, and he thinks the nickname he’s given you is spot on.

“Don’t remember? Then I’ll leave it to your imagination,” he says, leaning into you. As you freeze, eyes dart from his face to his lips for a second before looking back up. You don’t know what’s come over you because your usual calm demeanour has been flushed out, replaced with the resounding of your rapidly beating heart.

“Can’t believe you’d do such a thing to me, angel.”

Your imagination runs wild especially after you watch Jay walk out the diner with a winner’s smile on his face, head racing with embarrassing scenarios as he consumes your mind day and night.

iii. pink eyes, pink hearts, the whole world turns pink when i’m with you

When you meet Jake again at the same small rounded Starbucks table, you tell him Jay has no intentions of getting together with his girl. He smiles and tells you that there’s no longer a need for you to ever talk to Jay again, and for some reason it bugs the hell out of you.

You don’t know why. Maybe it’s because you can’t stop thinking about the golden confidence that surrounds his body like second skin, or the way he walks — like he’s it. Maybe it’s the way his hair still looks perfect after hours of sweat and playing basketball, or maybe it’s just because he knows exactly how to get you heated.

You hate thinking about him too much, because you’re afraid that your cheeks will flush a cherry red and you’ll start remembering how he bent down to tie your shoelaces or how his muscular arm wrapped gently around your waist as he entertained your drunk blabbering ( you cried for three days upon remembering this, cursing Yunjin for not helping you out ). So you don’t think about Jay, how he’s so so pretty and you certainly don’t think about the straightness of his nose, or the birthmark on his neck.

It’s a Friday night, and the campus is empty, students all gathered to watch the football game. And you feel an uneasy sensation settling at the bottom of your stomach. Something’s terribly off, you realise, as you look at your shadow and see another following you at an awfully close distance.

I fucking hate men, you conclude, as you clutch the pepper spray you keep in your jacket pocket, and you continue walking in the same direction like nothing’s wrong. You can’t call Yunjin, because she’s busy cheering her head off at the football game, you think as you try to strategise. And you silently curse as you watch the shadow get closer, it’s fine, you think, you’re strong and fast — and your trusty pepper spray never betrays you.

You turn around and spray the small can in the face of your follower, jumping back to see if the chemicals did the desired damage. But when the air clears, all you see is Jay’s gorgeous face crying profusely.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” you repeat again and again, and he doesn’t say anything. “I’m so sorry, Jay. Are you crying?”

The boy in front of you doesn’t look at you, blinking through his red eyes and burning tears as he takes the tissue you’ve offered him. You watch his swollen, puffy eyes as tears roll down and collect at the corner of his chin.

It’s not the time to laugh, you think, maybe just a little. And you have a strong urge to whip out your phone from your back pocket and take a picture of the once in a lifetime view in front of you.

So you do. And Jay isn’t having it.

“You know,” he says, voice scratchy, “you’re the most difficult fucking person I’ve ever met in my life.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes at his obvious compliment, “how would I know that you weren’t some pedophilic stalker who’s come to kill me!” You look at his pitiable state and you stop, “I’m really sorry.” Your voice softens.

“Say it again.” And his commanding tone makes you feel not so apologetic anymore.

“Go to hell.”

Jay sighs in annoyance, “that’s cute,” he replies, and you ignore the way your heart skips a beat. “I just saw you and wanted to talk to you, and maybe give you my jersey, for our bet.” His voice reminds you of springtime love and dragonfruit hibiscus, of frenzied thrills and mysterious shadows.

“Oh, where is it?” You ask, as if the thought of wearing his jersey to watch your first ever basketball game didn’t excite you even a little bit. His fingers clasp around your wrist, pulling you to a carpark where he had parked.

He unlocks his car, one hand still pressing the piece of tissue against his eye as the other swiftly opens the boot of the car. “Here, it’s washed, don’t worry — since you seem like that kind of person.”

You give him a look, as you watch him remove the tissue from his eye. It’s turned a shade of pink now, less puffy and less glassy. “What exactly do you mean by that Park, and here I was thinking of treating you for ice cream in return for giving you a pink eye.”

He huffs a tired sigh, “with the way you’re tiring me out, you should treat me for ice cream.”

And you look at Jay, who’s glowing under the rim streetlights despite his obvious red eye ( kudos to you ). With cheekbones that cut like ice and eyes liquid scotch, Park Jay is an alcoholic beverage and he doesn’t even know it. You’re addicted, even if your mind disagrees with your heart.

Stars could gleam all throughout the night sky and yet you’d still prefer to watch them through his eyes. And you think that you’re fucked, because you’ve never really thought of anyone like that. Not even Lee Heeseung, you only liked him because he was the fastest runner in middle school, but Jay — Jay made you feel like treasured snow in a globe kept by a bedside, he makes you feel like a fever dream.

“If you drive me, I will,” you say and he grins, jogging over to open the passenger seat for you.

“I’ll take a pistachio ice cream,” he orders as he slides into the driver’s seat and you enjoy the cool, crisp air blowing at you.

You choke at his words, “pistachio?” as your head tilts in question, “who eats pistachio nowadays? Everyone eats mint chocolate chip.”

Jay’s face contorts into an expression of disgust as he scrunches his eyebrows, taking his eyes away from the road to face you. “Honestly expected more from you angel, but I’m not surprised, just disappointed.”

“And I expected more from you, Park.” You comment, “who the hell doesn’t like mint chocolate chip?”

He groans at your argument, “it’s fucking toothpaste on a cone, what is there to like?”

You gasp, mouth wide open ready to fight back till he sighs, eyes rolling as he turns into the parking lot of Baskin Robbins, “fine, I’ll give mint chocolate chip another try if you try pistachio. We’ll try each other's ice cream, okay?”

Smiling, you nod, happy that you’d win the argument, even if it meant having to try some weird nutty flavour of ice cream. “I’ll go get it, wait for me.”

You jog into the store, excited to finally treat yourself to ice cream — and for Jay’s expression when he eats mint chocolate chip because you know his face would scrunch up ( and you wouldn’t miss the opportunity to take yet another picture ).

You come back out into the parking lot, and you see Jay, with another girl pressed up awfully close to him, and it feels like your throat is closing up, squeezing as you feel the urge to rip the two apart. It looks wrong — Jay and her, and you think it’s what your knowledge and years of being Cupid is saying ( or maybe it’s your heart ). You hate it, hate the way she’s looking at him as if he’s some fallen God from heaven, hate the way she shifts closer to him even when he’s trying to avoid touching her.

You move before you know it, and you expertly loop your arm around Jay’s waist after passing his cup of ice cream to him. Red hot satisfaction lighting up inside of you as Jay rests his arm around you — as if it’s his natural instinct, and his expression of annoyance morphs into one of a devilish smirk that you were now well acquainted with.

“You’re back, angel,” Jay murmurs, as he kisses the top of your head, his voice reverberating in your temples.

“Yeah,” you say, grinning sweetly at him before shooting the girl a glare: eyes turning into stilts as you give the clueless girl yet another warning sign. It doesn’t take long for the intruder to awkwardly excuse herself before you click your tongue in annoyance, turning around to face Jay who had a foreign expression on his face.

“Is my angel jealous?” He asks, raising an eyebrow, and your heart fawns at the small movement that was ridiculously attractive. He hums, smiling sharply as your breath catches.

You clear your throat and look away, well aware that your hand still lingers on his chest and you have no motivation to move it. “Shut up.” And you feel panic rising, bubbling. This is bad. This is too dangerous.

“I could shut you up instead,” Jay murmurs, stepping even closer and a thrill runs through your body. “Want me to?”

“You’re such an arrogant asshole,” you whisper, slapping his shoulders without any real force, “why would you ask me this kind of question.” Your heart is screaming a resounding yes.

“Because I’m a gentlemen,” Jay glares at you, and this tension between the both of you — like cold fire and hot ice, erupts in a lick of blue, crystallised flames. “So I’ll ask you another time,” he pulls you towards him, “can I kiss you, angel?”

You can’t take it anymore. “Stop talking and just do it.”

You pull him down by his collar and press your lips onto his, feeling your skin heat up as his lips move on yours. Holy shit, you think. He’s an expert kisser. And it might be ironic because it’s your first kiss ever, but you believe that nothing after can ever top this.

His hands rest on your waist, then to your jaw, then to your neck — and you feel. Feel the tip of his tongue asking for entrance at the inner part of her bottom lip, feel the way he’s kissing you roughly but smoothly at the same time, hair brushing your forehead and breathing unsteady against yours. Jay tastes like a blessed curse, a collection of angelic alcohol on a summer evening, and you want to hold him and never let go.

Because you’re making out with Jay, and your heart is pounding as you rest your thumb on his pulse and feel it flaring wildly, recklessly. Oh my god, you think, as he squeezes your waist before breaking the kiss — eyes slightly hooded as he stares at you in adoration that sparkles under the midnight sky.

He will be the death of you.

iv. three ways to ruin park jongseong

Jay thinks that there’s three ways to ruin him.

One: The kid’s viking ride at amusement parks. It absolutely destroys him, and his hair that he works on for hours in the morning. His knees get weak and his brain thrown out of his body as he squeezes his eyes shut, begging heaven to let him live another day even before the ride starts.

Two: Mint chocolate ice cream. Which was why he surprised himself when he agreed to give it another try for you. He absolutely distastes the flavour, as the creamy cavity inducing toothpaste taste coats the roof of his mouth, he winces in disgust. The only exception, he thinks, is when he kisses you and he tastes it. Instead of its usual nauseating effect, it instead tastes like love drunk cherry epidermises.

Three: You. With his jersey hanging from your shoulders, and he can smell his cologne, as you brush past him, eyes forming crescents as you greet him. “Hey Jay, are you ready for the game?”

His heartstrings tug, quicker and quicker at the sound of his name rolling off your tongue. And he might be a little foolish when it comes to love, but he thinks that this was the way his name was meant to be said.

“Jay? What, cat got your tongue?” You laugh, smiling. And he thinks he’s fallen for your laugh — that’s utterly contagious, your smile — which made him giddy for no reason, and the way you weren’t scared to annoy the hell out of him.

He doesn’t know if this feeling is normal, because despite the rumours, Jay’s never had a girlfriend, nor has he ever been with a girl; relationship or not, and it was all Heeseung who had girls around all the goddamn time. With them, he felt sick at the way they whined to touch his hair. But you, you ruin him the most, even more than the viking ship ride. And all his life, Jay’s been a pretty systematic person, but now he doesn’t know where to start, what to do about it.

“Come again angel, didn’t catch that,” he replies, eyes catching yours as he turns into the school car park, one arm slung over the back of your seat as he reverses into a lot.

You groan, cheeks pink, and he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. “I said, are you scared the other team will trash you to pieces?”

Jay chuckles, at your sharp tongue and the way you skillfully tease him. “I’m not scared, why would I be? With an angel cheering for me, I literally have God on my side.” He gets out and rounds his car, moving over to open your side of the door as he watches you lick your honey lips in nervousness. Under the 7pm tinted red and orange skies of a Wednesday, Jay realises how blue he’d feel without you now that you’re here.

“Who,” you pause, as you try not to jumble up your words, “who said I’d cheer for you?” A lazy smirk painted on your face, as you praise yourself for not tripping over the nervous butterflies the boy in front of you gave your stomach.

“You’re here with me,” he says, eyes trained on you as you lean back onto the side of his car, “I drove you here, I will be walking in with you, the jersey you’re wearing has my name on it. And, I invited you to the game in front of half the school population at that party. You see the pattern here, angel? It’s us or nothing.”

The way his eyes hold your gaze as his hands graze over yours melts you. And you’re so drunk in him, you feel as if you could touch the clouds in the salmon sky.

“What if I exchange my jersey with another girl?” You say, eyes glinting with mischief as you fold your arms, testing him. “Or maybe I’ll sell it, I’ve heard that this jersey is a pretty coveted item here in Decelis.”

He clicks his tongue in annoyance and you grin, “girls like you are the bane of my existence.”

“Girls like me?” You raise an eyebrow, “love, I’m one of a kind.”

“Yeah, you are. You are the bane of my existence.” Jay nods in agreement, as he slings his bag over his shoulder, and wraps his fingers gently around your wrist, guiding you into the unfamiliar sports hall. He thinks he’s playing with something dangerous — because you’re tangerine dusts of fire, flames that warm his skin and he relishes your warmth as you intoxicate his brain, his mind, as the smoothness of your skin lingers on his fingertips.

“Sit,” he says, pointing to an empty spot he reserved for you.

“I’m not your dog,” you retort, begrudgingly.

“Love of my life, light of my eyes, my all, would you please do me a kind favour and take a seat? I don’t want to tire those pretty legs of yours. Not like this.”

Oh.

You laugh, and it’s so loud that you can feel the eyes of others on you. Yet you’re fully focused on the devilish man in front of you. And you think, if you were very brave or honest you would tell him — that you might have fallen for his charming ways, sly smile, and god-like features.

“That’s right,” you grin as he shakes his head at your bratty behaviour.

“Anything for the princess,” he bows, and he doesn’t realise it but he’s smiling. Wide. And just like that you’re woven into his veins and he needs you like sin.

Jay makes up his mind that today’s match would be the best match he’s ever played. Not because you were here, sitting at the front row of the bleachers. Well, maybe, maybe it was because he wanted to hear you cheer his name, watch you grin in celebration as he scores hoop after hoop, and maybe because then — only then can he smoothly ask you to celebrate his win with him over dinner.

And that is exactly what he does.

“You did so good, Jay, when you twirled around that dude and threw the ball into the ring,” You say, reenact Jay’s winning shot, the jingle of the bell of your favourite diner that you recommended Jay to go to ringing as you enter the small place.

Jay think’s it’s extremely endearing, the way you call the basketball hoop a ring, or how you explain his moves as if he was a dancer on stage — twirling, he thinks he could work with that.

Jay directs you to a booth to sit in and a waiter comes to take your orders. You request a double cheeseburger and so does Jay. And he notes down the way you toy with the salt and pepper shakers, rips up the edge of a napkin, and clinks silverware together in odd amusement; you don’t ever stop moving, it seems. And it’s adorable.

“Tell me about your business,” Jay prompts, elbow settled on the table as you grumble in protest.

You shake your head, pursing your lips in refusal, “It’s a little embarrassing.”

“No it’s not,” Jay huffs, “I think it’s interesting.”

And so you tell him. “People pay me to matchmake them with someone they’re attracted to,” you mumble, “and sometimes I get paid more when I get a request to play a certain role.”

“What kind of role?” Jay asks, full of curiosity.

“Well, on Saturday Yoo Jimin is paying me to act like an innocent girl who her boyfriend was two timing with — he cheats a lot you see, and she wants to finally dump him.” You elaborate, “I don’t accept all of these requests, I choose them. I get a whole lot of weird ones too so that's a big no.”

“Isn’t that cruel,” Jay comments, but a drop of pity found nowhere in his voice. And you laugh, tilting your head back. He watches, eyes following the curve of your throat.

“Maybe,” you say, “but cheaters deserve it. Especially when Jimin’s boyfriend has hooked up with multiple girls.”

“So you like to roleplay?” Your mouth drops open.

“Is that all you got out of my explanation? That I may like to roleplay?” You scoff as Jay grins, “sadly for you Jay, I don’t.”

He glares at you and you glare back at him even harder. “Right,” he snaps, “how could anyone ever put up with you to begin with? You’re impossible.”

“That’s mean,” you pout, eyes flickering to his as you rest your chin on the palm of your hands. “You’re mean, Jay. I really hate you.” False.

“And you’re a devil’s spawn.”

You gasp, “you wound me, Jay. I thought I was your angel.”

You are, he thinks as he stares at you. And Park Jongseong wants to kiss you — but only in the most connotative way possible, so that no dictionary definition would ever stand a chance to describe how your lungs could be filled with the sweetest air possible and yet you’d still be so breathless. Often, pictures the both of you holding hands, watching a movie, sitting on the beach hearing your laugh throughout the day, catching your smile and he hopes that at the very least you think of him when your eyes are closed.

Roseate cheekbones, pearlescent soft lips, and bickering emanates love as the both of you fill the quiet dinner with intimate chatter.

And the night dies down all while Jay thinks about how you’re a vivid dream of lust and harmonies, euphoria reeking upon your entire figure, lips tainted with surreal giggles — and that the saliva in your throat is yet rather angel dust that converts into musical laughter, music he loved to hear as he watches you.

v. mascara stained cheeks, bruised skin, and a crumpled piece of paper.

“He must be really fucking into the cheating shit if he’s meeting his side chick an hour away from our school,” Jay grunts as he pulls over at the entrance of the restaurant Jimin sent you.

Today, you’re donned in a different style — sweatpants and a random big sweatshirt you stole from Jay’s backseat. Your hair messed up and your mascara smudged. It wasn’t really part of the job to be dramatic, but you only live once, so what’s the point of living boringly?

Jay scans your face for the fifth time in an hour, “you look exceptionally pretty today, angel. You really live up to your pet name.”

You grin, eyes rolling as you shuffle through your bag to take out a positive pregnancy test, mind sifting through your checklist — mascara check, positive test check. “Jay, love, it’s called dedication. You obviously do not have such a quality.”

His heart spins when you call him love. And it’s crazy, because he’s staring at you — with makeup smudged all over your face, positive pregnancy test in your hand from God knows where, drowning in his oversized sweatshirt yet he thinks you’re pretty, too pretty. And if that wasn’t dedication, he doesn’t know what is.

“I’m dedicated,” he says. And you raise your eyebrows in question.

“To what Jay? And don’t say basketball cause everyone in the world knows that you’re in love with it. Honest to G-”

“You,” He cuts you off, as he watches sunlight seep through the windows of his car onto your cheekbones, softly portraying faint constellations of stars upon them. He watches as your orbs glimmer with fervour, lips parting slightly to expose a marvelled gasp, and he hopes that the hazed longing in his eyes has reached you.

You cough, eyes dodging his gaze as you shift. “Not now, Jay. Not when I look like this.” And it’s enough for Jay to start smiling. He’s amused, that all that mattered to you right now was how you looked when he was about to confess to you.

“Fine,” he laughs, “I’ll do it when you look prettier than you look now.” You hum as you appreciate the way his arms look under the sunlight through the windows. Before today, you’ve never associated attractiveness with driving, but the slight imprint of his veins along with his lean muscles turned your mouth drier than usual.

“Only you get me, love,” you say, as you mess your hair up a little bit more in the mirror. “How do I look?”

“Like a sex addict.” You slap him, hard across his chest. “What? You asked!”

“You can’t say things like that to a girl,” you tell him, hiding a secret smile. “Be a gentleman, say I look great and wish me luck.”

“You’d only be looking good when you’re going on a date with me, roleplaying or not.” He mutters under his breath as you shoot him yet another glare. “Fine,” Jay gives in, leaning over the control panel, and he’s dangerously close to you. “Good luck, angel.”

In front of you, everything is still. Jay, time, galaxies, constellations pause to dawn upon him and gaze at you, who’s clearly unaware of your beauty. “Happy?”

You nod and he smirks, “Why so quiet now angel?”

“Just shut up and get on with our act.”

He laughs before the two of you go over your plans again: Jay entering into the restaurant first, sitting at a table near Jimin’s to monitor the situation, and you entering five minutes later, causing the biggest break up ever. It’ll be fun, like drama club.

You look at yourself in the mirror once again, and you think you look like those prostitutes in those trashy american tv shows before you enter the building with the classy exterior. With crystal chandeliers hung and tablecloths made of white linen, you feel terribly out of place, but for what if not for money.

You immediately spot Jay, sitting there with his long legs spread out. And a few tables to your right sits Jimin and her boyfriend, who continuously toys with his phone under the tablecloth while she tries to keep the conversation going.

It’s showtime.

You storm up to their table, positive pregnancy test in one hand as you yell out, “How could you! How could you cheat on me!” Hands reaching out to grab the boy by his collar, tears welling up in your eyes as he fumbled to stand straight under your tiger grip.

“Who the fuck are you?” He asks, eyes wide as saucers as his hands move up to surrender. “Jimin, babe, I swear I don’t know this crazy woman.”

“Crazy? You said I was your everything, that we were bound by fate! I believed you and now I’m pregnant,” you scream, throwing the test into his face as his hands scramble to catch it.

“Just get it aborted for god’s sake, it’s not that fucking hard.” And you gasp, shocked by the sheer stupidness of the boy. You don’t really let your emotions get to you, but the boy in front of you with a grip that could bruise your wrist and a mentality of a crude alpha male disgusts you.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You have a girlfriend who was willing to listen to you and give you a second chance before, but you ruined it by being an arsehole.” You pinch his forearm and he yelps, “you’re pathetic, and you don’t deserve anyone in your life.”

You watch as Jimin packs her things and leaves, before you meet Jay in his car. And without a word, he puts the makeup remover you brought into a cotton pad, dabbing your face with it as his fingers softly brush over the bruise forming on your wrist.

“You’re insane,” he says, “so fucking insane.”

You grin, “you don’t mind,” you make up his mind for him, and he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I don’t,” he says as he digs his pocket to retrieve a crumpled piece of paper, handing it to you.

And you open it, reading the scrawny handwriting in black ink.

Matchmaking

Name : Park Jay / Park Jongseong

Match : This girl I call angel, I’m sure you know who I’m talking about

Extra : I think we’re a match made in heaven, so please, help me win her over

vi. an angel and her love

You push your clingy boyfriend Jay away from your body, and to no avail fail for the third time. “Jay, you’re going to be late,” you tell the boy whose arms wrap protectively around your waist, “that’s not very vice captain of you.”

“And it’s not very girlfriend of you to chase your boyfriend away,” he mutters into the crook of your neck, as he proceeds to tighten his grip around your waist.

You give up, which you should have done minutes ago, because you know your boyfriend isn’t one to listen to anyone — even you. But you wouldn’t have it any other way, especially not when you’re not an easy person either.

“Go, or I’ll ask Yunjin to put that photo of you with a pink eye on the jumbotron,” you tease, and it works because Jay immediately lets go of your waist, eyes turning into slits.

“Hate you,” he says, rolling his eyes as he pulls you in for a kiss.

It’s short and sweet. And a line invisible to the naked eye seemed to be drawn between the both of you, it’s scarlet and relatively thick in magnitude, as the feeling of being in heaven — a feeling you’re accustomed to whenever you’re with Jay enlightens your skin again.

“Kiss me again,” you complain.

“You always order me around,” he laughs.

“Kiss me.”

“Are you sure?” he mutters, lips curving into his signature smirk.

You grab the back of his head, yanking him down once more. And the silence around the both of you explodes and a world of colours appear before your closed eyes. Every thought in your brain erased and replaced by the thought of him, just him. His lips pressing against yours, his hands pulling you closer, running up and down your back, into your hair. The taste of his mouth and the heat of his breath cloud your mind.

And when you finally convince yourself to pull away, your brain fails to string any piece of thought together.

“I love you more,” you tell him, as you smile.

And Jay looks, and he adores. He thinks (knows) he can watch you until the sun rises and the sun sets again, that he can watch you for days on end and never grow tired of you.

“Love you the most, angel.”

#⪩⪨ mikaela's #🍶　✶ soft spot #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen headcanons #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x you #enhypen jay x reader #enhypen jay imagines #jay x reader #jay fluff #jongseong x reader #jongseong fluff #enhypen oneshots #jay oneshots #enhypen smau

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glowettee · 4 months ago

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✧˖° studying without suffering: how to actually enjoy learning (yes, it’s possible)

✧˖° let’s talk.

hey angels, it's mindy!

most people treat studying like a punishment. something to be endured, not enjoyed. it’s that thing you force yourself to do, like taking bitter medicine or running a mile in gym class. but what if that’s the reason you struggle with it?

the secret? you were never meant to hate learning.

somewhere along the way, school made it boring. maybe you had teachers who sucked the fun out of it. maybe you associate studying with stress, deadlines, and exhaustion. but learning is supposed to be exciting. when you actually enjoy it, everything changes. you focus longer, retain more, and (ironically) spend less time studying because your brain actually absorbs the information.

so, let’s fix it. let’s make studying something you want to do instead of something you suffer through.

✧˖° ➼ step 1: detach learning from school

(school & learning are not the same thing. stop letting school ruin your curiosity.)

the first mindset shift? realize that school does not own learning.

➼ school is about structure, deadlines, and tests. it’s designed to measure performance. ➼ learning is about curiosity, deep thinking, and exploration. it’s designed to expand your mind. and help you grow as a person.

if you’ve only ever studied because you had to, your brain associates it with pressure. break that pattern. find something outside of school that you actually like learning about. philosophy, psychology, art history, neuroscience, fashion design, whatever makes you curious.

even if it’s unrelated to your classes, it rewires your brain to see learning as an intrinsic activity, not just an obligation. once you enjoy learning in general, you can transfer that energy back into your studies.

✧˖° ➼ step 2: romanticize the process (but actually make it feel good)

("romanticizing studying" doesn’t mean just buying cute stationery. let’s go deeper.)

sensory association is everything. your brain links experiences to the way they feel physically. so if studying feels uncomfortable, you’ll avoid it. the solution? make it a luxurious experience for your senses.

✧ visuals → clean, minimalist desk, soft lighting, aesthetic study materials ✧ sound → rain sounds, classical piano, lo-fi beats (music that enhances focus) ✧ touch → cozy blankets, warm tea, smooth pens gliding over paper ✧ scent → vanilla candles, fresh coffee, the pages of an old book

this isn’t just about aesthetics. it’s neuroscience. when studying feels pleasurable, your brain stops resisting it.

✧˖° ➼ step 3: use high-dopamine study techniques

(forcing yourself to study the “normal” way is why you hate it.)

some study methods are literally designed to be boring. ditch them.

instead, try:

➼ blurting method: instead of passively reading, close your book and write down everything you remember. then check what you missed. (way more engaging than just re-reading notes.) ➼ dual-coding: mix visuals with text. draw tiny sketches next to your notes. turn concepts into mind maps. watch a video explaining a topic right after reading about it. ➼ pomodoro stacking: instead of the typical 25-minute study sprints, customize it. (ex: 50 min deep focus + 10 min break with an actual reward.) ➼ interleaving technique: mix subjects instead of block studying. it forces your brain to stay engaged.

stop making studying harder than it needs to be. find what works for you, and your brain will stop fighting it.

✧˖° ➼ step 4: make studying social (but in a smart way)

(because you’re not supposed to do this alone.)

studying alone for hours? miserable. but studying with others who are just as serious as you? instant motivation boost.

but instead of chaotic group study sessions where no one gets anything done, try:

✧ parallel studying: hop on facetime or join a study livestream. silent, focused, but together. ✧ teaching method: explain concepts to a friend. if you can teach it, you truly understand it. ✧ study accountability: check in with someone daily. send each other your study goals, no excuses.

even just knowing someone else is studying at the same time can trick your brain into feeling more engaged.

✧˖° ➼ step 5: shift your identity

("i hate studying" isn’t a personality trait. it’s a mindset problem.)

if you keep saying “i hate studying,” your brain will never enjoy it. change the narrative.

➼ instead of “i suck at studying,” try → “i’m learning how to study in a way that works for me.” ➼ instead of “i can’t focus,” try → “i’m training my brain to focus longer every day.” ➼ instead of “i don’t feel like it,” try → “i’m someone who gets things done, whether i feel like it or not.”

become the type of person who enjoys learning. once that becomes your identity, everything else follows.

✧˖° ➼ step 6: create emotional attachment to your goals

motivation dies when your goals feel distant and impersonal. if you’re studying just because you “have to,” it’s easy to procrastinate. but if you link it to something deeply personal, it becomes non-negotiable.

try this: visualize your future self. imagine the version of you who already achieved everything you want. who is she? what does she do? how does she study?

then, make it emotional. ✧ if you dream of getting into your dream school, print pictures of it. make a vision board. ✧ if you want financial freedom, imagine the luxury of never stressing over money. ✧ if you want to be respected in your field, remind yourself that your knowledge is your power.

when you make studying personal, it stops being a chore. it becomes a commitment.

✧˖° ➼ step 7: stop making everything harder than it needs to be

(struggling doesn’t mean you’re working harder. it just means you’re struggling.)

too many people study inefficiently because they think suffering = productivity. but studying smarter is always better than studying longer.

some ways to make it easier on yourself: ➼ use study apps → quizlet, pomdoro apps for focus, notion for organization ➼ summarize like you’re texting a friend → rewrite notes in your own words, no unnecessary fluff ➼ study in “levels” → don’t jump straight into deep studying. warm up with light review, then increase intensity ➼ take advantage of spaced repetition → stop cramming, your brain retains more when you review over time

efficiency = less stress, better results. don’t work harder than necessary.

✧˖° ➼ step 8: replace toxic productivity with high-performance habits

studying 10 hours in one night ≠ academic excellence. true high-achievers prioritize sustainability.

➼ quit glorifying exhaustion. taking breaks improves focus. it’s not laziness. ➼ learn when to walk away. if you’re zoning out, step away. 10 minutes of real focus > 2 hours of fake studying. ➼ protect your sleep. all-nighters don’t make you hardcore, they make you ineffective. your brain processes info while you sleep.

the goal isn’t to study the longest. it’s to study in a way that keeps your mind sharp and focused.

✧˖° ➼ step 9: master the “dopamine pull” method

instead of forcing motivation, use dopamine to your advantage.

➼ habit stacking → pair studying with something enjoyable (ex: study while drinking your favorite matcha) ➼ mini rewards → after finishing a chapter, reward yourself with something small but satisfying ➼ gamification → track progress like a video game. every completed task = a “level up”

your brain loves dopamine. give it reasons to associate studying with good feelings.

✧˖° ➼ step 10: let go of perfectionism (but keep high standards)

perfectionism leads to procrastination and burnout. instead of striving for flawless, aim for consistent excellence.

✧ done is better than perfect. stop rewriting notes 5 times. ✧ progress is the goal. each study session should move you forward, even if it’s small. ✧ your worth is not your grades. strive for success, but don’t let school define you.

when you release perfectionism, you actually start achieving more. keep your standards high, but don’t let them paralyze you.

✧˖° mindy’s personal tips

(things that helped me romanticize studying & actually make it enjoyable:)

➼ set a 5-minute timer. just start. most of the time, your brain stops resisting once you begin. ➼ don’t let study guilt ruin your breaks. rest is productive. ➼ have a “study fit.” i swear, dressing up just a little makes a difference. ➼ invest in one high-quality pen. something that glides effortlessly. small detail, huge difference. ➼ study in cafés, libraries, parks. switch locations to keep it interesting. ➼ make it ✧ cozy ✧. fuzzy socks, oversized sweaters, soft blankets. your comfort matters.

✧˖° homework: rewire your study experience

➼ for one of your study sessions this week, try at least two of the techniques above. ➼ write a short journal entry: how do you want to feel while studying? how can you make that happen? ➼ change just one thing about your study setup that makes it more enjoyable.

then come back & tell me. did studying feel better? (you can always message me or send me an ask in my inbox)

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mytherapyisreading14 · 1 month ago

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The Professor Effect

Summary: You were always one of the best students - until you got a new professor. Now you're often distracted and your grades are dropping. He notices and decides to confront you.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: Smut (18+ MDNI)

Warnings: dirty talk, kissing, making out, praise kink, fingering, oral sex, spanking, orgasm denial, unprotected sex (stay safe pls), dom!spencer (pls let me know if I forgot something)

Word Count: 4,2k

Part 2

It's Monday morning, 8:15 a.m. The air in the lecture hall is fresh. The windows are still open, even though it's noticeably colder outside. Autumn has begun, and the first leaves are already falling from the trees. You're sitting in your usual seat in the second row, right by the window.

You're prepared, as always. Criminology is more than just a subject for you. It's your thing. And yes, you're good at it. One of the best, according to your professor. But you simply have a good memory, and it's easy for you to find the connections. You love what you do.

Professor Hartmann is a great professor. Old-fashioned, but smart. And strict. He challenges his students, never going easy on you. You respect him and like his teaching style. But a few weeks ago, in one of his lectures, he said that he is soon retiring because of health reasons. The announcement came unexpected.

Since then, no one knows who will replace him. No information, no photo, no name – just an email from the student council with the vague sentence “We're looking forward to a fresh, modern perspective in the Criminology department." And then... he enters the room.

You don't know whether you notice his voice or his face first. Maybe both at the same time. "Good morning. I'm Dr. Spencer Reid. I'm excited to be exploring criminology with you starting this semester - with an eye on the reality out there,” he says when he comes in.

He's tall, slim, with an almost outrageously casual elegance. Shirt, dark brown blazer, sleeves slightly rolled up. His hair is messy and curly. And his eyes... those eyes. You can't look away. Your heart is beating faster. What the hell is wrong with you? You usually never get distracted, especially not because of a man.

You’re one of the students who always writes everything down, who thinks along, analyzes, asks critical questions. But at this moment? You have no idea what he's saying. Something about the history of profiling, you think. Or is it forensic psychology? You look at your notebook. Empty. Your pen lies there. Untouched.

As he explains the semester's outline, your gaze keeps wandering to him. Not just because he's handsome - that's almost beside the point. It's the way he moves, the way he speaks. The way he treats the topics as if they were alive. As if he weren't just teaching them, but understanding them on a whole other level. He's smart. And not just "I have a doctorate" smart.

And you? You sit there, as if hypnotized. Completely distracted. Your mind is racing. You don't know what to do. The semester hasn't even really started yet, and you know you're in trouble.

Since that first Monday, something has changed. You still arrive on time, sit in your usual seat, prepared and yet it happens every time. As soon as he enters the room, your mind is blank. Not blank-blank, but full – with the wrong thoughts.

His lecture on perpetrator typologies? Fascinating. His explanations of psychological casework at BAU? Impressive. You want to listen, you want to think along, but all you do is look at him. The way he walks around the room. The way he sometimes speaks too fast because his mind is apparently faster than his words.

He's a genius. Not in that exhausting way, but in the way that fascinates and leaves you speechless. And he's not even arrogant about it – just completely absorbed in what he's doing.

You're lost in your thoughts. More and more often, you find yourself watching his hands as he writes something down. Or how his voice changes when he talks about difficult cases. It’s more quiet, more serious, with an expression you only have when you've seen things you'll never fully forget.

You understand the content but there's this discrepancy between knowledge and performance now. You don't lose track. You trade it for thoughts that have nothing to do with the class but rather with him. In the third week, you're unprepared for the first time. It's not a disaster, but you haven't finished reading the case study. And you hate it.

You hate not being able to concentrate as much anymore. Not being properly prepared. But you've been too busy trying to explain to yourself what's actually going on with you and how to get yourself back on track.

It’s another Monday morning and the room fills with nervous murmuring. Spencer is standing at the front of the desk, handing out the marked exams. You don't even want to know what grade you got. The subject actually suited you. You knew the answers - at least until you looked up for a moment and saw him roll up the sleeves from his shirt. That was enough to completely distract you.

You wait, trying not to let on, but your gaze keeps wandering to him. You're trying really hard to ignore him. But it's not working. As he places your exam on your desk, he gives you a quick nod. You can barely look at him. When you glance at the grade, the infatuation immediately disappears.

You understand the material. You used to be the best. But lately, your mind seems to be more focused on your professor than on studying. You shove the papers into your bag and are about to head for the door when you hear your name. You freeze. His voice hits you like an electric shock. You slowly turn around.

"We need to talk about your exam. Let's say around 3 p.m in my office?” he asks. You feel hot. Not from fear but because your mind immediately runs through a thousand scenarios. You nod. "Yeah, sure," you mumble, trying to hide your blush. "Fine," he says and smiles before he goes back to his papers.

Now you're standing in front of the building. Third floor, left corridor. Room 3.17. His office. It's 2:56 p.m. You arrived way too early, hiding in the library for ten minutes, but now you're here. You take a deep breath and try to stay calm. Your heart isn't cooperating. This is just a conversation. Maybe he wants feedback. Maybe it was just a bad exam. Maybe he's noticed how you look at him in every lecture - then you have a problem.

You push your hair back from your face and knock. "Come in." You press the handle and step inside. He's standing at the window, just turning around. Shirt, sleeves rolled up. And oh god, he’s wearing glasses. Your brain is on strike. "Hello," you say. Or do you think that? No, you're really saying it. Luckily, your voice sounds more stable than you feel.

He nods at you. "It's great to have you here. Please sit down." You take a seat, put down your bag, and try not to appear nervous. He sits down and folds his hands. "I wanted to talk to you about your exam," he begins calmly. "You were one of Professor Hartmann's strongest students. According to him, your contributions were precise and analytical. He specifically praised you." You nod.

"That's why your grade surprised me," he says. "The analysis was superficial. And I wouldn't have expected those mistakes from you." You want to say something. An explanation. But your mouth remains dry. So you just nod. Then he asks, "Is there anything going on in your life that distracts you from studying?" You look at him. A moment too long. Your lips part. But what are you trying to say?

That he’s the reason? That your head is chaos every time he enters the room? You swallow. "It's nothing bad," you say quietly. He raises an eyebrow, tilts his head. He's analyzing you. Reading you. "Good," he says. "Then let's change that. I think there's more to you than this grade shows." His gaze lingers on you for a moment longer. You nod and try to avoid his eyes. Sitting here, alone with him, in his office - it makes you nervous.

For a moment it is quiet and you are about to say that you should leave now when he speaks up again. "You know, it's not hard to see that you were a little... distracted." Your heart races and your eyes widen. Oh no. You know you've just given too much away. "Don't worry," he continues. "I understand. Thoughts sometimes take on a life of their own. Especially when you're sitting across from someone so... fascinating."

Fascinating. The word echoes in your head. You feel like he knows exactly what he's doing. And you have no idea how you'll ever get out of this. He leans back and looks at you, a small smile on his lips, while you almost feel like he's secretly wondering how much longer you'll last without blushing with embarrassment.

He raises an eyebrow, as if trying to read you - as if he's already read you. "Or did you honestly think I wouldn’t notice?" Your heart skips a beat. Heat crawls up your neck. Too late. Your eyes give you away and he sees it. He continues leaning back ever so slightly, his gaze never leaving yours. It’s a slow, calculated move, as if he’s savoring the moment, stretching it out.

He knows exactly what he’s doing, how he’s doing it. And you have no idea how you’ll escape this, or if you even want to. He watches you as though he’s already playing a game you don’t know the rules to. His lips curl slightly, a hint of something almost teasing. You can feel the weight of his gaze on you. "I wonder..." His voice lowers and he leans closer to you, "What exactly occupies that pretty little head of yours... to the point where you almost forget how obvious it all is."

He lets the words hang in the air, like a challenge or a threat. And as you hold your breath, you realize: you’ve already lost. The only question is whether you’ll admit it - or if he’ll make you. Your breath hitches, barely audible, but it’s enough. His eyes flicker. He looks pleased. Not surprised. Like he was expecting it, like he was hoping for it.

You try to speak, to say something, but you can’t get a word out. He stands up, walks around his desk and comes closer to you. You can smell the faint trace of coffe and books. You blink once and suddenly he’s in your space, hovering just at the edge of touch, close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off him. He doesn’t touch you, that would make it too easy.

“I think,” he says slowly, every word deliberate, “you like pretending you still have control.” His gaze drops for the briefest second and when it meets yours again, it’s different. Full of lust and desire. “But you gave that up the second you lied to me.” You feel your heart beating faster and faster.

He leans in, mouth near your ear now. “The question, sweetheart, isn’t whether I noticed,” his breath is warm, intoxicating, “it’s what I’ll do now that I have.” Something inside you unravels. His lips linger against your ear, resting there like he belongs there, like he’s earned the right to touch you this way. And maybe he has. Maybe that’s the most dangerous part: how natural it feels now, to have him this close, this deep under your skin.

You exhale shakily as his hand trails lower, fingertips ghosting along your thigh, teasing, never quite where you want them, where you need them. Your hips shift instinctively, seeking more, but he only smirks, dragging his mouth down your neck, each kiss deliberate, maddening. "Still holding on?" he murmurs, voice rough, lips brushing just below your collarbone.

You want to challenge him. Tell him he hasn't won. That you're still in control. But the words never make it past your lips. Because his hand finally slides exactly where you need him, and your body arches into his like it was made for this moment. A quiet curse slips from your mouth, caught somewhere between surrender and desire, and he drinks in the sound like it's a reward.

He looks up at you, eyes half-lidded and burning. "Say it. Say you want this." And you do - god, you do -but your pride clings to silence even as your body betrays you, trembling beneath his touch. He leans in again, this time pressing his lips to yours, his breath uneven, his control clearly thinning.

“Why don’t you get up and lock the door for me, sweetheart?” he asks and that’s the moment you give in. You've dreamed about it so often, so why not take the chance and make it come true? Besides, you're too much turned on right now to leave. It’s wrong, you know that - he’s your professor after all - but you don’t care. You want him. You need him.

So you get up and quickly lock his door. When you turn back to him, he's leaning against his desk, grinning. "See, it wasn't that hard to listen to me, was it?” he says and motions for you to come closer. Your heart has never beat as fast as it does now and when you feel his lips on yours again, you could swear that it is bursting with excitement.

He doesn't stop kissing you, even as he shifts, fitting his body more fully against yours, like he's been waiting for this moment far longer than he'd ever admit. His hand slides behind your knee, lifting your leg to wrap around his hip, guiding you into him with aching precision. The friction alone draws a gasp from your lips-and his in return. "You feel that?" he growls softly, teeth grazing your jaw. "That's what you do to me."

There's no space left between you now and you cling to him, hands roaming, greedy, nails dragging under his shirt and down his back just enough to make him hiss through his teeth. Then he moves, a slow roll of his hips that sets every nerve in your body alight. It's maddening, torturous. “Oh god, Professor. I - I need more.” He slides his hand up your thigh slowly, stopping where you need him the most.

“Then beg for it,” he says. “What?” you ask, confused. “You heard me. Beg for it. Beg me to touch you, to fuck you, to ruin you,” he says and smirks. “I’m not going to beg,” you say, annoyed that he’s not giving you what you want so bad. “Then I won't fuck you, it's that simple. And I don’t think you want that, do you?” he asks you and pushes against you. You can feel how hard he is and it drives you crazy.

“I hate you,” you hiss out, grinding against him in order to release some friction. He grabs your hips and holds them still before leaning down to whisper in your ear. “No, you don’t. And now, be good girl and beg. If you keep making this difficult there won’t be much time left for me to fuck you and that would be such a shame, considering I wanted to take my time to worship you like you deserve it,” he says.

You didn’t think it was possible, but these words turn you on even more. You need him, now, everywhere. You push your pride aside and look up to him through your lashes, roaming your hands over his chest and opening the first buttons of his shirt while maintaining eye contact. “Please, Professor. I need you to touch me. I need you to fuck me. Please make me come on your cock,” you say and he looks pleased.

“See, that was not hard, was it?” he asks but you ignore him. He presses his lips to the corner of your mouth, your jaw, your throat - anywhere he can reach. "You're mine now," he breathes, hips grinding more against you, slower, enough to leave you trembling. "Every inch of you,” he says before he finally slips his hand up your skirt again, grazing your clit through your panties. You shiver.

His hand tugs at your panties before he pulls them to the side, sliding a finger through your folds. “Now look at that. You’re already soaked,” he says with a smirk and slips a finger inside you, while his thumb circles your clit. You moan out loud and his other hand covers your mouth immediately. “Shh, sweetheart. You have to keep quiet for me if you don’t want us to get caught,” he says.

The thought makes you clench around his finger and he chuckles. “Interesting. You like the idea of getting caught, don’t you?” he asks and pushes another finger in. You bite down on your lip in order to stay quiet because he is right - you don’t want to get caught. Not here, not now. But the thought definitely turns you on. “Answer me,” he says, pumping his fingers faster. “Y-yes, I - I do.”

Your legs begin to shake and you hold onto his arms in order to still stand up straight. He notices your struggle and lifts you up so you sit on his desk. He finally takes your panties off, stuffing them in his pocket. You spread your legs wider for him and he looks pleased at the sight in front of him. “Please fuck me, Professor. I need you so bad,” you whine but he shakes his head.

“Not yet. I have to taste you first,” he says and leans down, his head disappearing between your thighs. He wraps his arms around your thighs to keep you close to him before he leans forward and places a kiss on your cunt. You can feel his breath on you and reach for his hair, pulling him closer against you. Then his tongue finally makes contact with your cunt, flicking over your clit first. You gasp out loudly, tugging at his soft, brown curls and looking down to him.

Seeing your Professor down on his knees, between your thighs is a sight you will never forget. He eats you out like he wants to draw every last sound out of you. And he does. When he finally starts to push his tongue into you, he drinks all your whimpers and moans in like they're fuel, like they prove something, and in the way he watches you, you realize that this isn't just about lust. This is control. Intimacy. A claiming.

He adds his fingers again and the pleasure becomes too much. Your toes are curling and you can feel your orgasm approaching. Spencer can tell that you’re close too. He sucks at your clit again and your mind goes blank. But then he suddenly pulls back. You pant and give him an angry look. “What are you doing? I was close,” you breath out, already fucked out. “I know. But I decided I’m not letting you come yet,” he says.

“Asshole,” you hiss through gritted theeth and he shakes his head in disappointment. “That's no way to talk to your professor. It looks to me like I need to give you a lesson in respect,” he says. “I -“ you begin but he already pulls you from the table before turning you around and bending you over it. He pulls down your skirt in one quick motion before his hand roams over your ass.

You turn around to look at him, to snap at him, to tell him you hate him for doing that but you can’t because his hand is coming down onto your ass, spanking you. You didn’t expect that but it turns you on immensely. “Count and take your punishment like a good girl,” he says. “O -one,” you breath out and feel a wave of excitement washing through you. He was really not lying when he said he’s making all your dreams come true. Because as much as you hate to admit it, this is what you dreamed about too.

His hand comes down again and you feel the sharp pain again. But it feels good. You didn’t think it’s even possible but every minute with him turns you on even more. You push against him to show him you want more, feeling his hard cock again. “Oh you are enjoying this, aren’t you, sweetheart?” he asks and you nod. His hand comes down again and you continue counting. After ten strikes he decides that you have enough.

“That’s it, you took it like a good girl for me,” he says and leans down to kiss your neck gently. It’s a sweet, caring moment and it makes you feel safe with him. However, you’re still turned on, especially after he punished you like this. “Will you fuck me now?” you ask him eagerly and he laughs. “Of course, sweetheart. You think I don’t want to feel your pretty pussy wrapped around my cock?” he says and begins to open his pants.

When he finally pulls out his cock your eyes widen. He is big, way bigger than you always expected. He strokes his cock a few times and you watch him with a hungry look in your eyes. If you weren't so turned on right now, you'd be embarrassed about how much you want him, need him. But you don’t care, who blames you? He's hot and smart, the perfect combination.

He comes closer and finally slides his cock through your folds, hitting your clit and teasing you yet again. “Just - just fuck me already,” you hiss out through gritted teeth. When he stops you quickly add a “Please, Professor” and he praises you. “Good girl, that’s what I wanted to hear.” Then he finally pushes in.

It feels even better than you expected. You can’t help but moan out his name loudly. “Shh, quiet sweetheart,” he reminds you and you nod. He’s right. You don’t want anyone to find out or worse, get interrupted right now. Not now, when you finally have him.

He starts to pound into you and your eyes roll back in pleasure. The sensation of him inside you drives you crazy. Low groans fell from Spencer's lips when one of his hands moved to your clit, rubbing rough circles. The way you move with him, the way your body responds, open and aching and utterly undone - that's your surrender.

And he feels it. You can tell in the way he growls your name like it's sacred. “You look so good like this, completely fucked out by your Professor,” he says and his pace falters, deepens, roughens. The rhythm between you spirals into something frantic, raw-beautiful in its chaos. The kind of connection that blurs the line between pleasure and need. Between dominance and devotion.

When he hits the right spot over and over again and trails his hand down to circle your clit, you completely lose it. You clench around him and he knows you’re close. He almost feels bad for what he’s about to do. He pushes deeper, increasing his pace until he’s close too. But instead of making you two come together, he pulls out. “What the fuck are you -“ you start but he shifts, pulling you up from his desk to push you on your knees. “Open,” he says and you obey, taking his cock in your mouth to swallow his cum.

You think he has something else planned for you, convinced he still wants to make you come but when he finished and starts to put himself together again you give him a questioning look. “What are you doing?” you ask him. “As you can see, we’re done, sweetheart. I’m putting myself back together. My office hours start soon. You have to leave now,” he simply says and sits down at his desk. “Are you fucking serious?” you ask furiously. “I didn’t even come,” you say.

“Only good girls - good students - get to come. And you haven't been that lately. Show me you're getting better, focus on your exams, get a better grade the next time and you'll get what you deserve,” he says with a smirk on his face and you are so angry, so frustrated that you can’t get a word out for about a minute. Then you have an idea.

He’s not playing fair, but you can do that too. “I can just report you, you know,” you say. You never plan to do that, but he doesn’t need to know that. He looks up and laughs before getting up from his chair, walking around his desk and slowly approaching you again. Your whole body is shaking with anger, frustration and pleasure. “You can, but you won’t,” he says with a grin on his face.

"Oh yeah, and how do you know that?" you ask him defiantly. “Because these lips long for me," he says and unexpectedly pushes a finger inside you again. You tremble. Oh god, he just knows you too well. “And in order for these lips to get what they want, these lips,” he says and traces his finger over your lips. “have to stay quiet.”

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #post prison reid #professor reid #professor x student

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transwrongs · 2 years ago

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There’s so much power in empathy. There’s so much power in recognizing truth and learning from it. There’s so much power in knowing. There’s so much power in recognizing nature and adapting to it.

#thinking about learning and understanding and still developing opinions about experienced and evidence #“is free will real??’’#idk man I’m testing it out!#let’s all pretend free will is real #you control your life #you control your thoughts and worldview #you CAN absorb information and make conscious decisions #you can change your mind #you can change your life #idk if it’s true but by golly I’m gonna pretend it is #n who gon check me #leo.txt

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marsprincess889 · 7 months ago

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How women influenced by different planets act in one-on-one relationships

Platonic, familial and/or romantic. Based on my own observations and traditional associations💕 planetary influence is present when a native has one or more nakshatras ruled by that planet in their big three(moon, ascendant, sun). If that or any other planet is conjunct sun, moon or ascendant in the chart, then it also adds its influence, but to a much lesser degree. I'd advise to read for your moon, but as always, use discernment and and do not take this information at face value.

Sun women

Krittika, Uttara Phalguni, Uttara Ashadha

The women ruled by the Sun are often seen as confident, self-possesed, bright, expressive and measured.

The Sun is well-known to be a masculine planet, that does not make sun-ruled women any less worthy in their femininity.

Sun women might be surrounded by a lot of male energy in younger years. It could have been positive or negative but all in all, they're familiar and quite comfortable with it. I don't mean they were plagued by admirers, I moreso mean they had a father figure, uncles, brothers/male cousins(usually older), male friends around them. I might be wrong but I've seen this so much in real life and in art. If that's not the case, then they can fit in and hold their own in a group of men. It's true that they're not phased by trying to be more masculine themselves(like jupiter women do sometimes) or to completely lean into traditional femininity(like moon women). They usually get love and support from men that have doubted them at first.

That leaves sun girls with an abundance of masculine energy absorbed in themselves. In one-on-one relationships they enjoy a level of independence but they value loyalty immensely. They build relationships on certain rules that come from their personal values. They look for a partner in crime and an understanding confidante more than anything else.

That's why saturn-ruled people are best for them, along with other sun-ruled individuals. Ruled by the planet of dedication and longevity, Saturn dominants understand their detachment and fixed nature, and provide the cold, hard structure for their self-expression.

Their energy is not for abuse though. They are more vulnerable and sensitive than most realize. As they are women influenced by a very masculine planet, they might feel like they're giving too much sometimes, like they're being taken for granted. As Saturn is the planet that never takes anything for granted and works for its rewards, it is not going to discard Sun's warm and "life-giving" nature. Moreover, it is going to appreciate it, respect it and try to keep up with it as best as it can. Saturn's cool and careful nature is soothing to Sun women, making them feel safe to lean into their individuality with more confidence while prividing the essential balance for a full existence.

Moon women

Rohini, Hasta, Shravana

Moon women have a simplicity about them. Traditionally a feminine planet, moon is considered to be a soft, smooth and nurturing influence.

Moon women are easy to recognize. Moon is probably the most dependant planet. They are passive in their demeanor and easily absorb influence. They often have a group of people around them, if not a group, then at least or not two, just because. That can be explained by moon's receptive but also giving nature, that gives back the smoothed, mixed essence of what it has recieved that is easily digestible. But they don't have that energy within them. They can be very accomodating while not initiating anything at all. If they do initiate, it's something similar to what the other person has initiated.

So moon thrives on dependancy. They might enjoy groups, because that way their passivity and receptivity is not held against them, and they might feel like they contribute more that way. In one-on-one relationships, they are very easy and simple, but might become stressed and on edge. Moon rules masses and the subconcious, so they need an energetically abundant planet that does not mind being drained.

Moon is, in its essence, is vampiric, so they like Sun people. They might be quite comfortable around Jupiter people, and sometimes, with Venus people(the Shravana- Purva Ashadha pairing works particularly well).

Mercury women

Ashlesha, Jyeshta, Revati

Mercury is the planet of integration and manipulation, and women ruled by it are often multi-faceted, containing the potential for adapting and the willingness to to often do so.

Mercury can be described as the "hermaphrodite" sometimes, especially Revati nakshatra. Due to this highly analytical and adaptible nature, mercury women have the ability to morph themselves into different roles, depending on who they are interacting with. Their feminine energy is based on receiving and then skillfully using whatever is given to it. Mercury is the planet that is quite different in all three of its nakshatra stages. Ashlesha, Jyeshta and Revati all have different feminine qualities, due to the three stages that they wrap up being different from each other. Venus nakshatras are different from each other too, but to a lesser degree. What all mercury nakshatras do have in common is sensitivity and skill. They change and adapt to various envirmonments, and their resourcefulness is seemingly limitless.

In one-on-one relationships they need people who can handle that "manipulative" and "nervous" nature. All yoni consorts of mercury nakshatras(Punarvasu, Anuradha, Bharani) have a theme of passivity, they all want and need that "manipulative" energy. Similarly, Mercury women themselves can thrive with people who are energetically stable/abundant but want to move and adapt. Since Mercury women have a need for stimulation and variety, they maintain relationships with people who they don't find boring AND can provide loyalty. There is no single planetary energy that is generally compatible with Mercury people, but Venus and Mercury are traditionally friends, and Venus also heals Mercury. The best example of this is Revati and Bharani(elephant yonis), but other combinations can be compatible too(except Ashlesha and Purva Phalguni, due to them being enemy yonis).

Venus women

Bharani, Purva Phalguni, Purva Ashadha

Venus_ the planet of beauty, sensuality and love is a well-known feminine force that is almost synonymous with the word.

Venus women are, before anything, choosy and exclusive. Their taste is very specific and particular, and whatever is "theirs", is theirs completely. Despite the outward serenity and composure, their internal nature is very fierce and even ruthless. That discriminating nature extends to everything in their life, where they have to be clear about the dividing lines of everything that they deem worthy, and everything else that they don't. There is also an inner drive to attain what they want/need/desire/love.

Their views on one-on-one relationships are unique, and they have very high standards, along with an attentive and giving nature. A lot of those relationships might have left them dissapointed. They seek a balanced give and take in any 1-1 bond. They might even blame themselves for not choosing correctly, since they're already very careful. They mainly want loyalty and support. As always, those relationships have to fulfill their personal desires. Someone considerate, attentive, and skilled is best for them.

There is no single planet type that will fulfill all three Venus nakshatras and most of their natives, but generally, Mercury people have what it takes to impress and keep them. They share a discriminating nature, but while Venus women are energetically abundant, loving and often passive(on 1-1), Mercury is actively "manipulative" and morphing into whatever Venus desires. The best version of this is Bharani and Revati(elephant yonis). Purva Phalguni feels best with Magha(rat yonis) and most likely will not get along with Mercurial Ashlesha(enemy cat yoni). Purva Ashadha is best with Shravana(vanar yonis). All Venusian lunar mansions are best with their uniquely preffered nakshatras. Besides them, they might form friendships with Ketu, Sun, Jupiter or Saturn nakshatras (with the exlusion of Purva Ashadha- Krittika/Pushya, Bharani-P.Bhadrapada and Purva Phalguni-Punarvasu pairs).

Mars women

Mrigashira, Chitra, Dhanishta

Mars_ the warrior planet that grants protection has been a symbol of masculinity since ancient times. That coorelation, although undeniable, does not exactly encompass the whole essence of that force, especially while considering women influenced by it.

Mars rules the energetic output_ how we spend our energy and life force. In many ways, Mars women, being the passive/feminine vessels for that triggering energy, are expressive and engaging. But unlike Mercury, that expression is geared towards the physical body. Unlike Venus, they do not have any inner discriminatory preferences that might make them that choosy. Their expression is very outward and shown on the surface, so while they can be confrontational or agitating with how they behave, they do it for protection, because that it their only mechanism of doing so.

Their heated but inwardly quite gentle nature can make them susceptible to unnecessary drainage. That's why they're another planet type that needs a giving person in 1-1 relationships. With them, that person has to not only give, but have a true consideration of their sensitivity.

Jupiter people are famously best for these women. Jupiter natives can give their excess energy to them and ensure that their vulnerabilities are not abused. The two latter Mars nakshatras both have Jupiter nakshatras as yoni consorts and Mrigashira's yoni consort is Rohini_ a fixed but soft-natured nakshatra.

Jupiter women

Punarvasu, Vishakha, Purva Bhadrapada

Women ruled by the great benefic, the planet of greatness, plenty and godhood can be big personalities. Jupiter has seemingly infinite energy that wants to give without end, and often, they do.

Jupiter women have a very enthusiastic, almost aggressive niceness about them. They might have been surrounded and influenced by male energy since their early life like Sun women, but their true feminine power comes from being open while giving and receiving, especially when around individuals who they think need their "help" the most.

Jupiter women are the one planet type that feel the best in groups, even moreso than lunar women, and unlike them, since Jupiter wants to give to all, they might feel very uncomfortable in 1-1 relationships. That being said, they're not exactly opposed to the idea of it.

They will feel best with heated and draining planets, especially Mars. Mars can take Jupiter's abundant energy and use it to build and protect. They're famously a good pair, but other planet types can be just as compatible with Jupiter. Ketu people also have a desire to take Jupiter's energy but unlike Mars, they won't drain it to use it outwardly, instead, they'll absorb the energy completely and integrate it into their spiritual essence. The exception would be Punarvasu(Cat yoni) and Magha(Rat yoni), because of enmity between yoni animals.

Besides them, Punarvasu nakshatra in particular will get along with Ashleshas, a Mercury nakshatra, due to them being yoni consorts (cat yonis).

Saturn women

Pushya, Anuradha, Uttara Bhadrapada

The cold planet of control and restraint is a passive but tough and unbreakable force. Saturn women find their femininity in stillness and silent, but resilient passivity.

Their strength is tested and it gains more layers through time. This kind of energy might become impossible to intimidate, so many might feel that Saturn women are never phased by life in general. More reactive or moldable people might distance themselves from them, even though on paper Saturn women are easy to like.

They find too much flux and chaos unbearable. Saturn's femininity is all about limiting and crystalizing whatever it receives, so the more stable that energy, the better Saturn women might manage in binding it, even though they can restrain and control any type of energy, no matter how messy.

Saturn ruled women might have dealt with a harsh, limiting, authoritative feminine energy in their younger years. They have learned how to manage themselves in various complicated situations. What they seek in 1-1 relationships is trust and loyalty, not too unlike Sun women. Saturn people are best with Sun people. Sun's warm influence will give their structure a heart and a "purpose". Sun is the planet that seeks out the cold, restraining influence of Saturn that matches its own stability and self-possession.

Since these women are the feminine variation of Saturnian energy, they might be extremely passive and unwilling to start anything themselves, but after they have something to hold onto, they can become actively bossy.

The similarly cold but also adaptable and changeable nature of Mercury might also be an easy and natural match for Saturn women. This pairing might be best in platonic or familial relationships, but the Anuradha-Jyeshta pair(rabbit yonis) is perfect in romantic couples too.

Rahu women

Ardra, Swati, Shatabhisha.

The north node of the moon, the dragon's/serpent's head is a shadow planet and only one half of the opposition that makes up the destiny of a person. The nodes are dependant on each other, and both of them are dependant on the moon. Even this fact gives them a very different kind of quality and essence. So, women ruled by them are a distinctive and very draining group of force.

Rahu women are the personifications of the illusion. For them it is easy to see and identify, to box and to define and label. They are adaptable, responsive, cerebral. There is a certain numb neutrality about them. They are very aware of and immersed in the material world. They can often become bored or overwhelmed by it. It is not unknown that Rahu ruled individuals might be prone to nervousness and anxiety.

Rahu women are easily susceptible to all kinds of influences, just because they absorb and then project everything around them. They can adopt behaviors from other people without noticing, but unlike Moon women(who also do this) they do not give anything back to anyone in particular, they just take it into their illusion and show it to everyone.

That is why they can be quite comfortable within groups. With personal, 1-1 relationships, difficulties can arise. They need a very particular kind of person that can handle their tense and sometimes chaotic nature and can direct their "hyper" essence towards something stable.

Ketu is the other half of Rahu and the only planet that can calm it down. The immovable and hot nature of its opposite shadow planet can help Rahu get out of the head stop its often actively paranoid behavior. Ketu can provide the spiritual substance for Rahu's material manifestations and can match its cold, active and outwardly discharging energy with its own heated, passive and absorbing essence. Obviously, the two pairs of them are yoni consorts, with Ardra(dog yoni) and Shatabhisha(Horse yoni) having Mula and Ashwini as yoni consorts, respectively. Swati can also easily get along with Ketu people, but Ashwini(enemy yoni) might be the exception. For Swati, the best match is its own yoni consort(buffalo yoni)_ Hasta, a very earthy nakshatra.

Besides Ketu, Rahu people can be very drawn to Sun people. Mythologically, Rahu always seeks to eclipse the Sun_ another discharging and active planet, the one that it wants to imitate. If, for example, a Rahu person also has a Ketu influence, due to already having that Rahu-Ketu balance, they might prefer Sun individuals who emanate that warm light from within themselves. In platonic relationships, Rahu people might find kinship with Jupiter individuals with whom they share an adaptible and "airy" nature, but can give their abundant energy to draining and discharing Rahu.

Ketu women

Ashwini, Magha, Mula

The other half of the dragon, the tail/body of the serpent, the absorbing shadow that rules over the past of the person. Also a shadow planet that drains and depletes, Ketu is the "conquerer" that establishes the very essence of a person or a thing. It is where an individual can find their true power, but also where there is a potential for great danger.

Ketu women are a very raw example of femininity. Their basic nature and behavior is the representation of femininity in possibly its simplest light. They absorb everything around them and instead of doing anything at all, they integrate it into their internal selves. Their power is their passivity. Their energy resembles a black hole_ a seemingly endless void that never seems to be satisfied.

They too have a numbness in them, but unlike Rahu, Ketu women might become overwhelmed with their own stagnant and heavy energy, struggling to properly express or define what they are, feel and know. Rahu can become confused from too much information, Ketu can become confused from a lack of it. In the end, they both might feel like they are missing whatever the other is/has. There is also a blindness to both of them, where each sees only their opposite side. But Ketu knows what it knows, and unlike Rahu, it does have stability. The danger with them is stubbornness, the inability to be moved by the outside.

Ultimately, Rahu people are the best match for them. Ketu women can be overly passive* and unresponsive in most 1-1 relationships. They can "hide" and assimilate better in groups but with just one another person they can become extremely disinterested, if the other is not on par with them. Rahu can break its stagnancy and help Ketu women to push their energy outwards.

Besides Rahu individuals, Ketu women might be compatible with Jupiter people, since they have an abundance of excess energy that can give to Ketu's hungry and absorbing nature. Ketu also heals Jupiter. Another dynamic that is possibly compatible for them is with Mars-ruled individuals, due to Mars and Ketu being similar in nature, but this might work best in platonic relationships.

*the passivity of Ketu is not displayed in an obvious way, at least, not all the time. By passivity I meant that it's very hard for them look outside of what they know and have decided. Their behavior might actually look very expressive and reactive, especially Ashwini's and Mula's. Ketu is the conqueror because it simply goes and acts without thinking. It's pure instinct. What it lacks though is the rational mind and awareness. In real life natives, this can manifest as willful or unintentional "ignorance", or simply intense self-focus that does not really allow outside input. With Ashwini, getting their way is a matter of protection, existence and survival, and their "ignorance" is the most unintentional out of all Ketu nakshatras. With Magha, it's about their sense of self-worth and influence. With Mula, it's about their core beliefs and an establishment of the ultimate truth. I think Ashwinis are mostly unintentional, Maghas don't even care to even look at that, and Mulas are aware of their "ignorance" but recognize the necessity of self-focus for their own basic sanity.

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astrofaeology · 29 days ago

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Mercury in the Houses

paid readings | Masterlist

1st house When Mercury resides here, your very essence speaks. Your intellect shapes your persona; you are a naturally curious individual, expressing yourself directly and often with remarkable openness. This placement signifies a mind that is constantly engaged with learning, readily absorbing information from your surroundings and projecting your thoughts outward. You possess a distinct verbal presence, making your initial impressions impactful.

2nd house Mercury in this house means your mind focuses on resources and values. You think practically about money, possessions, and security. Communication skills are often tied to earning or acquiring. You might articulate well about finances, business ventures, or what you deem worthwhile. This placement suggests a cleverness regarding material matters, and perhaps a talent for verbalizing your worth.

3rd house This is Mercury's natural domain, intensifying its qualities. Your intellect is incredibly agile, absorbing vast amounts of data from your immediate environment. You are a natural communicator, excelling in everyday conversations, writing, and short journeys. Curiosity drives you to learn continuously, making you adept at various forms of expression and connecting with siblings or local communities.

4th house Mercury in this position indicates a mind deeply connected to home, family, and personal roots. Your thoughts often revolve around domestic matters, security, and your heritage. Communication within the family unit is crucial, and you may enjoy intellectual discussions at home. This placement suggests a reflective intellect, often seeking inner peace through understanding your foundational experiences.

5th house Mercury here indicates that you have a mind that's has a natural disposition towards the arts and creativity. You communicate with zest, finding joy in self-expression and intellectual challenges. This position suggests a talent for entertainment, teaching, or any activity where you can blend wit with imaginative flair.

6th house Mercury in this house means your intellect is directed towards practical concerns, work, and well-being. You possess an analytical mind, excelling at organization, problem-solving, and managing details. Communication is precise and efficient, often focused on daily routines, service to others, or health matters. This placement highlights a knack for methodical thinking and a desire for order.

7th house Mercury here emphasizes intellect in partnerships and relationships. You seek mental stimulation from others, thriving on discussions and exchanges of viewpoints. Communication is key to your one-on-one interactions, and you often prefer fair, balanced dialogue. This position suggests a person who learns through relating to others and may be drawn to intellectual alliances.

8th house This placement points to a profound and investigative mind. You delve into mysteries, hidden truths, and complex subjects like psychology, shared resources, or transformation. Your communication is often intense and probing, seeking deeper understanding beneath the surface. You may be drawn to research, occult studies, or uncovering secrets.

9th house Mercury in this house means your intellect expands into higher learning, philosophy, and foreign cultures. You possess a broad perspective, eager to explore different belief systems and distant lands. Communication is often philosophical, inspiring, and focused on big ideas. This position suggests a natural teacher, traveler, or someone deeply interested in global thought.

10th house Mercury in this house places your intellect and communication firmly in your career and public image. You express yourself professionally, often through writing, speaking, or strategic planning within your vocation. Your mind is geared towards achieving success and establishing authority. This placement indicates a person whose reputation is shaped by their articulate nature and intellectual contributions.

11th house Here, Mercury's influence extends to your social groups, aspirations, and humanitarian ideals. Your intellect thrives in collective settings, engaging in discussions about future possibilities and shared objectives. You communicate effectively within teams, contributing innovative ideas and fostering connections based on mutual interests. This position suggests a mind focused on progress and community.

12th house When Mercury is in this house, your intellect operates in subtle, often hidden ways. You possess a highly intuitive and introspective mind, processing information through dreams, intuition, and unspoken cues. Communication may be less direct, leaning towards creative expression, spiritual contemplation, or working behind the scenes. This placement suggests a mind that finds peace in solitude and deep reflection.

DISCLAIMER: This post is a generalisation and may not resonate. I recommend you get a reading from an astrologer (me). If you want a reading from me check out my sales page.

#astr #astro community #astro observations #astro notes #astrology #mercury #mercury in the houses

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vhstown · 2 years ago

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please stop scrolling and take the time to read this.

i don't think people understand the extent of the horror happening in palestine right now. "death" means nothing to people because of desensitisation so let me just tell you what white phosphorus is. it's being used in israeli munitions and has been and will continue to be fired across gaza and the palestinian borders.

white phosphorus burns when it comes into contact with oxygen (at nearly 800°C or 1500°F. the human body can withstand ~50°C for reference.) the air you breathe in ignites and it is near impossible extinguish. it sticks to clothing and skin and is very difficult to remove because it will continue to ignite in air. it burns flesh up to the bone and even past the bone because it penetrates tissue and is absorbed VERY easily. if you inhale it it'll destroy your respiratory tract and lungs. it can cause failure in multiple organs including the liver, kidneys and heart. it is being released in one of the most densely populated places on earth.

the only way to treat someone exposed to white phosphorus is to submerge them in saline or water and to pick out the substance with forceps, and when you undress a wound the substance can re-ignite. this is just ONE weapon that is being used to kill palestinian people right now. palestine does not have access to medical care, humanitarian aid, power, or internet. their hospitals are being bombed. gaza is one of the most densely populated places in the world with over 50% of the population being children. many children are the sole survivors of their families. there are videos of children experiencing panic attacks and symptoms of ptsd. the fact that israel has committed war crimes in plain sight means that we can only imagine what will happen to the palestinians in complete darkness.

israel has and will continue to deny this. your interests and fandom will still be here, you will wake up tomorrow morning and see your friends and family, but an entire nation of people are being wiped off the map. being silent is being complacent. reblog, spread information, tell people in real life, attend protests, sign petitions, call your government offices, at the very least be angry and upset and horrified because once you become numb and indifferent and hopeless the oppressors will have already won.

what's happening right now is more than a genocide and once it becomes a part of history we'll wonder how the world let this happen. genocides have been part of all nations. just because it is far away does not mean you don't have to be concerned. the fact that YOUR governments and YOUR idols and the people around YOU are supporting the mass eradication of an entire group of people should scare you. it shouldn't make you feel anything less than sick and angry and disgusted. DO something about it, no matter how small you feel your voice is, because palestinians no longer have one.

[edit] links to some helpful reblogs: one & two

post on how you can help palestine

learn about palestine with this masterlist of info

+ a further reblog of mine

[edit 2] about palestinians "not having a voice" at the time i wrote this post internet connection was cut off entirely and even journalists weren't able to report for a period of time — that is all i meant by that. they of course have a voice and i never meant to undermine how people are risking their lives in gaza to get information out there and i apologise if thats what people took from it, it was not my intention but it is entirely my bad. please continue to spread information and updates from gaza as they come.

#please reblog with any useful resources you may have #or just in general #i dont care that this is a fanfiction blog because nobodys bloody made-up characters are important right now #look through tags and reblog the newer things because theyre being supressed #no matter how many followers you have #israel palestine conflict #free gaza #palestine #gaza #gaza strip

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lucydixon · 10 days ago

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Welcome to Hellfire

Summary: Two freshman convince you to join them at Hellfire despite you never having played before. You're weary at first, but jump at the chance once you learn that Eddie Munson, who you've been crushing on all year, will be there.

“Can you please, please, please come play DND with us tonight?” a voice came from right behind you.

You were pretty sure that they weren't talking to you, but when you turned around, two sets of brown eyes were staring right at you.

You found yourself staring back at a pair of Freshmen who you’d never spoken to before in your life. One of them, you were pretty sure, was Nancy Wheeler’s little brother.

“Do I know you?” Your brows pulled together.

“Probably not.” The taller of the two said, looking far too hopeful. “But we really, really need a third, and nobody else can do it.”

“So you’re just asking everyone?” You tilted your head slightly. “I don’t even know what that is. I don’t know how to play.”

“At this point, we’re desperate.” The smaller one spoke with a heavy lisp. “It doesn’t matter whether or not you can play. Eddie’s gonna kill us if we show up one man short.”

“Eddie Munson?” You perked up a little, and both boys looked shocked.

You’d always had a bit of a crush on the older metalhead but found him too intimidating to approach.

“Yeah…” little Wheeler trailed off, “He’s our DM.”

“DM?”

“Dungeon Master.” His friend clarified.

“You’re making this sound like some kind of sex cult.” You raised a brow and chuckled when they both turned pink. “Explain.”

“It just means that he runs the club. Hellfire club.” They gestured towards their shirts, still blushing. “We play Dungeons and Dragons.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“You haven't said no yet.”

“You’re right, I haven’t.” You nodded, looking amused.

“Please?” They gave you the puppy eyes, and you sighed dramatically.

“You’re sure they won't mind you bringing some rando?”

“No!”

“It’ll be fine!”

They spoke at the same time.

“Yeah, I guess. It’ll probably be more fun than the stupid basketball game.” You shrugged finally and flinched when they started jumping up and down and cheering.

You almost regretted agreeing when you found yourself holding a massive book full of information about the game and how to play, but the prospect of breathing the same air as Eddie Munson and having him know that you exist kept you from running for the hills.

The boys, whom you now knew as Mike Wheeler and Dustin Henderson, were talking a mile a minute, trying to explain things to you while you desperately tried to absorb even a shred of information.

When it finally came time to ditch the basketball game and follow your newfound teammates down the hallways of Hawkins High, you were a little nervous.

You really had no fucking clue what you were about to walk into and the brief, yet extensive rundown you’d gotten hadn’t really left you understanding anything outside of it’s a game, not a sex cult, and that there are a shit ton of different dices.

What you had not expected was to walk into the drama room and lock eyes with Eddie Munson, perched on a throne.

Yes, a throne.

His brows immediately pulled together in confusion, and your cheeks started to warm.

He knew you. You were in a few of his classes this year, and he’d spent enough time staring at you to know that you were not dorky enough to be willingly standing there with two of the freshmen he’d taken under his wing.

“Uh, what’s this?” He tore his gaze away from you to look at the boys.

“You asked for a sub.” Mike gestured towards you, “We delivered.”

“That’s not a sub,” He groaned after a minute, “That’s a hostage.”

“Jesus Christ, she looks like she’s being held at knifepoint!”

“She is not a hostage.” You interjected, unable to help but laugh. “I am a willing participant. Just, for the record.”

Eddie opened and closed his mouth a few times like he didn’t know what to say.

“Wheeler, Henderson!” He called the boys over to the throne, finally, “Get over here.”

Dustin gave you an encouraging thumbs up before crossing the room, leaving you standing there awkwardly.

“What the hell is this?” Eddie hissed lowly once the boys were standing in front of him.

“Nobody else wanted to play!” Mike exclaimed

“So you kidnap the poor girl?” His eyes darted over to you, then back to the younger boys. “Absolutely not.”

“We didn’t kidnap her!” Dustin insisted, “She was all for it when she heard you were gonna be here.”

“What?” He faltered, looking genuinely taken aback. “Why?”

“She’s like totally into you, man!”

“She is not.” He looked over again.

“She is too.” Mike corroborated, “Lit up like a Christmas tree, and that was before we clarified that this is not a sex cult. She wants you. For real.”

“Really?” Eddie still looked like he didn’t fully believe them, but it was clear that his interest had been piqued.

“Yes!” They both cried at the same time.

“Does she know how to play?”

“Kinda.” Dustin shrugged, “As much as we could teach her between lunch and now.”

“Good enough.” Eddie sprang out of his throne and nudged them aside to saunter over to you and hold his hand out for you to shake.

“Welcome to hellfire.” He grinned.

You slapped your hand into his and almost jerked away.

It was like an electric current had flowed through every nerve that made contact with his skin, and when you locked eyes, it became clear that he’d felt it too.

Neither of you let go, though.

Not until the other players started clearing their throats and giggling amongst themselves.

You looked away at the same time and gathered around the table.

The prospect of embarrassing himself in front of a pretty girl did not stop Eddie Munson from getting into full Dungeon Master character, especially when he saw how entertained you looked.

It very quickly became apparent that you did not know how to play, but your enthusiasm, despite being completely lost, more than made up for it. To everyone’s surprise, he allowed the boys to play for you help. And let you just throw the dice whenever it was your character’s turn, even if you had no clue what the numbers meant.

The rest of the players were happy to let you sit there and look pretty, even if it was proving to be a bit of a distraction.

“The hooded cultists chant,” Eddie narrated the game so dramatically that he had you fully engrossed, at the edge of your seat.

"Hai, Lord Vecna. Hail, Lord Vecna."

“They turn to you, remove their hoods. You recognize most of them from Makbar. But there is one you do not recognize, his skin shriveled, desiccated.”

“And something else.” Eddie rose from his throne theatrically, growing louder, “He is not only missing his left arm, but his left eye!”

The boys all started screaming, and despite having no idea why, you gasped as if you did.

Eddie found it incredibly alluring.

“Vecna’s Dead!” Dustin shouted, eyes wide in disbelief.

“He was killed by Kas!”

“So it was thought, my friends.” Eddie lowered himself back into his throne, laughing maniacally, “So it was thought.”

“But Vecna lives.”

He waited for the clamouring to die down before continuing.

“You’re scared. You’re tired. You’re injured.” He murmured, drawing them all in.

“Do you flee Vecna and his cultists? Or do you stand your ground and fight?”

You looked at the rest of the players, very much aware that you didn’t know enough to cast a vote, and Eddie took the oportunity to stare.

He couldn’t believe you were sitting across from him.

You, with your kind eyes and dazzling smile.

You, with your genuine enthusiasm and lack of judgment, despite this being one of the nerdiest games in the world.

You, getting along with his friends as if you’d been in the fold for years and not just mere hours.

You, whom he’d been eyeing since the start of the year, but he was convinced would never go for him.

Eddie couldn’t believe that you not only knew who he was, but had agreed to get dragged into a game you knew nothing about by two freshmen just because he’d be there. Wasn’t sure if he fully believed it really.

Maybe you were just too kind and had taken pity on the poor boys.

He’d been swindled by the puppy dog eyes once or twice himself. He knew how persuasive they were when they wanted to be.

There was no explaining away the feeling of shaking your hand, though.

That was something.

Surely, you’d felt it too.

The look you’d shared may as well have been a mirrored image.

He was torn from his thoughts by the chanting of the club.

They’d decided to fight.

You were so invested in the game that you almost felt like you understood what was happening.

You cheered when your teammates landed a hit and cried out in frustration whenever Eddie cackled and slapped a figurine off the board to signal a miss.

It came to a point where you were down to two players left on the board, and Gareth called for a timeout as if it were a sport.

Somehow, you were one of the two.

“Guys, I hate to say this.” Jeff grimaced. “But we’ve got to flee.”

“I concur.” Gareth immediately agreed.

“Whoa!” You gasped, “What happened to ‘to the death’?”

“That wasn’t literal!”

“Vecna just decimated us.” Doug shook his head. “We can’t kill him with just two players.”

“You too?” Dustin groaned, “He only has 15 hit points left. Don’t be Pussies.”

“Pussies?” Jeff hissed, “Really? Cause we’re not Delusional?”

“Hey!” Eddie shouted from his throne, drawing all of your attention. “If I may interject, Gentlemen, Fair lady.”

You bit back a smile, trying to be serious and failing miserably.

“Whilst I respect the passion, you’d be wise to take Gareth the Great’s concerns to heart. There is no shame in running.”

“Don’t try to be heroes,” He pouted condescendingly. “Not today, ‘kay?”

You all blinked at him for a moment.

“One sec.” Dustin held out a finger, and the huddle resumed.

“What do you think?”

“How many hit points do you guys have left?” Mike turned to you and Dustin.

You glanced down at the little notebook you’d been keeping track in and answered at the same time as Dustin.

“Twelve.”

“It’s risky as hell.” Mike shook his head thoughtfully. “But you’re the ones on the battlefield. So, it’s your call.”

“What do you say?” Dustin asked you.

“I say fuck it.” You shrugged, smiling mischievously, “What've I got to lose?.”

“Screw it.” Dustin nodded, breaking the huddle “Let’s kill the son of a bitch.”

“The chances of success are 20-1,” Doug argued when you all crowded around the table.

“Never tell me the odds.” Dustin held a hand out to stop him.

The boy turned to Eddie with a determined look on his face and muttered,

“Give me the D-20.”

Eddie threw it, smiling in pure amusement.

He clearly didn’t think that the rest of you would be winning anything.

Dustin shook up the dice in his fists, blowing into them for luck.

It rolled across the table, and you all watched with bated breath, screaming ‘NO’ collectively when it landed on an 11.

“That’s. A. Miss!” Eddie banged his head to emphasize each word, cackling while you all absorbed the loss.

“Shit!” Dustin slapped his figurine off the table angrily.

“It’s all you, princess.” The Dungeon Master watched you through Strands of long hair with a crazed look in his eyes.

“You trying to distract me with your sweet talk, Munson?” You cocked a brow, keeping your cool despite your insides melting at the pet name.

“That depends,” He squinted at you playfully, “is it working?”

“Nope.” You tore your eyes away with great difficulty. “I’m feeling lucky.”

“No pressure,” Dustin rested a hand on your shoulder, “But the fate of this party rests on you.”

“Dustin?” You muttered sweetly.

“Mhmm?” he hummed, dreamily.

“Shut up.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded tightly, and took a step back.

“Okay,” You muttered to yourself, plucking the D-20 off the table to cradle it in your hands.

They all watched you cup your hands together and shut your eyes, whispering into your palms as if you were speaking directly to the dice before shaking them.

When you finally let it fly, you felt like everything was moving in slow motion, even the pleas and prayers of the rest of the party.

You held your breath and braced your palms on the edge of the table, gripping it so hard that your knuckles were going white.

Eddie was doing the same thing at the other end of the table, watching just as intently.

The dice rolled to a stop, and the room erupted in screams so loud they made your ears ring, but you didn’t care because a startled, victorious cackle tore its way out of your throat.

20.

“Crit hit!” Dustin howled, throwing his arms around your waist, jumping up and down in elation.

Eddie scoffed out a laugh, grinning like a madman.

“That’s why we play!” He jabbed a finger in your direction, then bowed theatrically while you beamed back at him.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics GIF by @nicostiel Part 2 Masterlist

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things fic #eddie munson au #eddie stranger things #stranger things x reader #eddie the freak munson #eddie x you #stranger things #eddie munson fluff #stranger things eddie #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson stranger things

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