#understandinglove

[introspectconnect]

Deja Vu Love: Why We Repeat Relationship Patterns and How to Change

Love, while enchanting, can often feel like running in circles. Have you ever found yourself drawn to the same kind of partner time and time again? With a sense of déjà vu as you repeatedly find yourself with eerily similar partners. Why is this?

Once upon a time, I can confess I had a "type." I was irresistibly drawn to people's pain. It wasn’t a drive to 'fix' them or some dark intrigue, but rather, seeing a mirror image of my own internal turmoil. I could see it in their eyes, it was evident in their smile, it peeked through in their laugh, and it was obvious we wore the same burdensome mask to hide our scars. I naively believed building a bond based on shared trauma would help us understood each-others better and that we would guide each other on a road to healing. Instead, our pain inflicted more wounds on each other, that reinforced our negative beliefs and justified our unhealthy behaviors.

At the time it made sense, though looking back the flaw in my logic seems clear: Like the blind leading the blind, how can those equally lost, lead one another to light? This personal revelation reflects a challenge many people face in relationships. Chasing after partners based on idealized fantasies rather than real-world truths. It's easy to say, "I have a type," confidently stating our preferences, but do we ever pause to ask why? Are we genuinely yearning for a compatible soul, or are we simply seeking the traits of a person who idealizes a fantasy?

We must find the courage to question our desires. Only then can we uncover whether we're pursuing shallow ideas, or true compatibility and genuine connection. Consider someone who's always wanted a stable, money-wise family because they didn't have that growing up. They might be drawn to a potential partner’s flashy lifestyle. But does a flashy exterior equate to genuine financial security? How can they spot traits of financial stability if they've never known what it looks like? This logic can be applied to many different scenarios.

The cure to break free from that same old love loop comes down to being brave enough to dig into our wants. Learn what the healthy version of our desires looks like, so we don’t get lured by cheap imitations of it. Failure to do this keeps us entangled in familiar, yet potentially toxic patterns. The path to healthy, sincere, and nurturing relationships begins when we discern the real needs beneath our desires.

If you’re stuck in a loop of similar romantic choices, remember acknowledging the pattern is the first step. Dive deep within, challenge your reasoning, and aim for authentic connections. Together, we can break the cycle of déjà vu love.

[ecartwright362]

Navigating the world of dating can be thrilling, confusing, and even a little nerve-wracking! 😅 In "Dating," explore the ups and downs of modern relationships, from first dates to finding lasting connections. This insightful book offers practical advice, real-life stories, and tips for building meaningful bonds. Whether you're new to dating or looking to improve your approach, "Dating" is your guide to understanding the complexities of love and relationships in today's world. ❤️💘📖

Ready to dive into the dating game with confidence? Start your journey now!

[thoughtsofchamomile]

Understanding Love

First of all, this is not about KathNiel’s breakup, although I am really affected by it too.

Even when I was younger, I often hear the statement, “love is not enough”. I believed it too, but I didn’t understand it back then.

I always believed how strong and powerful love is. Because it pushes you to do things you never imagined yourself doing. Love is a noun and a verb. It is also an adjective because God is love. Love is a glue that binds everyone together, and at the same time a fire that destroys everything in a small amount of time.

Love is so powerful that it could even kill you.

But love could change you. It could bring either the best or the worst out of you.

They say love is blind. Because when you are in love all you see is the good things in the person, in or out. We tend to disregard the toxic behaviors of the person we love. Sometimes, their physical appearance as well.

I craved for a love that is a complete opposite of what I see in my parents.

I used to think that the most visible expression of love is the act of kindness and goodness. I also believe, until now, that the most important thing in a person is the heart. It’s being good (well, next to love because I do not believe there is goodness in the absence of love. When we love, everything follows).

Nothing is better than being good to people.

So I always taught myself that in looking for a partner, I should never look for wealth, but for heart alone. Because money can be earned anytime. I was not sent to a good school to be a housewife one day. I am proud I am not a gold digger, and was sure that I can earn my own money.

So it happened.

Reuben and I were together for more than four years. We were together in my entire college years.He is a good man, and I’m proud he is. He loves me very much. He is faithful. Most importantly, he is a Christian… But only in religion. He is jobless, and he just got back to school last three years. He is not rich.

At first, I thought it’s fine.

I understand he has no money and I appreciate his small gifts every occasion, although not consistently, but I appreciate. If he can make an effort to give me gifts even he has nothing, what more could he give when he has something? Ever since when we go out, I spent all the time, and it’s fine. During the pandemic, I didn’t really need the money, though I have a little. And I did appreciate how he stayed by my side even at the lowest point of my life when I struggled with depression and anxiety, and always wanted to die.

He was with me. When I thought nobody was, he is. Even we don’t see each other all the time, he is there. And I appreciated.

But then eventually, a lot of things happened, a lot had changed. My needs have changed. I need his presence more than everything else. I even offered to spend for everything, just so he can suffice my needs. It worked, but not very well. He started to treat me differently. He started making excuses all the time. He could not prioritize me anymore. He always got reasons. He is often irritated, then be sorry later on. At some point, he is not him anymore, he is not the person I used to love before. He’ll be sorry but manipulate things, gives lame reasons and often reprimands me. He started invalidating my feelings.

We broke up and get back again all the time. Because he could not keep his promises. He is not a man of his word. Nor a provider or a leader or a man I used to know.

I was not blinded by his red flags, I know I didn’t deserve it. And in return, even I remained as sweet as candy, my heart turned cold. I always find fault in him. I count his wrongs, unintentionally, because I tried not to make a big deal about it, but a small move creates a huge impact when piled up.

This is how I understand why love is not enough.

A relationship built with love is a good seed, but with not enough water and sunlight, it could not grow.

A relationship is like a plant, it has its own needs (good soil, water, and sunlight) to be sustained constantly. A relationship does not circle in love alone. It should always have trust, respect, and everything each person needs. People have desires other than love. The persons who belong to a relationship should acknowledge and honor these needs. And most importantly, a relationship needs God to fix each other’s fault. He will cut your withered leaves and watch over you. A God-centered relationship is something I used to dream. And I thought having a born again boyfriend is the answer, but no. A religion of person does not define true Christianity.

So I realize now, with all that been said, that love can really be enough to sustain a relationship because God is love. And we should surrender it all to Him. On the other hand, his graciousness and perfect will was enough indeed for this world, but the world did not accept Him. He is enough, but people chose something else.

In other words, I could say that love is enough. But it should be accompanied by actions.

Being good is also enough. But we can argue that people don’t stop being good while giving into temptations at the same time, because you are not defined but your mistakes. It is true. But this world is completely different from the ways of God. You see, being a good Christian means to be firm to not fall for sin. But all Christians sin every single day. It’s not fine, but God understands that humans are weak, that’s why His grace is sufficient for us, because His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12).

It is impossible to live a life without God. Because God created life. He is life.

Therefore, when we feel that love is not enough, we should start assessing ourselves: “did I ever seek God’s will over mine?” If not, then we should pray harder! Repent and seek His will. Just think about every single move you make. It might go against the will of God without you realizing it.

We also have to understand that no relationship is perfect for us humans, we always have to seek God.

No person could ever comprehend the goodness of God, and His peace despite of imperfections.

Well, not all relationships are for a lifetime. Sometimes, it is also God’s will for us to love somebody but don’t end up with them. It is part of God’s plan for our progress and growth. And it is not a waste of time. And it definitely does not mean that love is not enough.

Be dependent on God.

[worldwidevideopromotion]

Why WOMEN SLEEP with LOSERS or BUMS and always LEAVE GOOD QUALITY MEN

[manoasha]

"Understanding and Applying the Keys to Emotional Connection"

In the intricate dance of love, partners often speak different emotional languages. Recognizing and embracing each other’s love languages is a transformative journey that can deepen emotional intimacy and foster a lasting connection. Let’s unravel the mysteries of love languages and explore how understanding and applying them can elevate your relationship to new heights. The Power of Love…

[alfamortgages]

Love Languages: Understanding How To Show True Love

Many misunderstand love, projecting their own preferences onto others. We explore why offering unwanted gestures, like the wrong coffee, can be frustrating, emphasizing the importance of understanding individual needs in relationships. #LoveLanguages #RelationshipAdvice #UnderstandingLove #CommunicationSkills #Relationships #LoveTips #HealthyRelationships #PersonalGrowth #SelfImprovement…

[oneworldquotes]

Relatable ✨

Love is not about age, Love is not about Rich and

Poor. But

Love is about Respect and Care, Support and Understandings..♡

#lovecare #lovesupportrespect

#loverespect #loverich

#poorlove #understandinglove #oneworldquotes

[beastcharm]

Love Facts Vol 2 @Beastcharm420 #beastcharm420 #LoveFacts, #RelationshipAdvice, #LoveAndRelationships, #HeartbreakHealing, #TrueLove, #EmotionalConnections, #RelationshipGoals, #LoveInsights, #UnderstandingLove, #RomanticRelationships

[nimixo]

Whispers of Love: Unveiling Hearts, One Understanding at a Time

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. -Honore de Balzac

#lovequotes #relationshipgoals #understandinglove #beyondthesurface #SoulmateConnection #DeepConnection #lovelife #heartfelt #Nimixo #motivationalquotes #MotivationBlowByBlow #motivationfriday

[lostchildsstuff]

It's so strange how we spend all the time with our own selves, yet we run to others for their opinions about us. We try so hard to build the relationships with family and friends, yet do so little to build the most important relationship of our life, the relationship with our own selves.we yearn so much for love, we yearn for a lover who will accept us with all our faults, yet can't tolerate the smallest imperfections in ourselves. Longing for love, companionship and acceptance of others is very normal , but giving those things to us before expecting from others is what makes life beautiful!

[truthseekerastrology]

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A post shared by Truthseeker Astrology (@truthseekerastrology)

#Understanding means accepting people, circumstances and situations for what they are, and not what we wish or want them to be. . . . . #truthseekertalk #truthseekervalues #clarity #understandinglife #understandinglove https://www.instagram.com/p/CcVRWKNh6g7/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[worldwidevideopromotion]

Why WOMEN SLEEP with LOSERS or BUMS and always LEAVE GOOD QUALITY MEN

[mujeralchimista]

I created MujerAlchimista because I wanted to inspire women into realizing their potential and inspire them to choose themselves before “el que dirán.” Since it’s start, my life has catapulted into possibly the most wonderful creation I have thus far manifested into existence. I used the pain from the past to grow and to rise into a phoenix instead of creating and idealizing a victim mentality to survive. I raised a loving daughter that knows the truth about the past and learned to accept it as is, instead of lying to her as adviced by many because “los trapitos sucios se lavan en casa” y “los niños no saben, no entienden y no ven.” They do understand and create core memories of it, and if we are not there to explain to them what is happening their whole adulthood will be shaped by those core memories unconsciously. My daughter is loving, forgiving and accepting. I couldn’t be more proud of her and the choices I took to get here. I share sometimes posts that are no longer in alignment with my life, but that I want to share because when I was going through the hardest moments these past years I felt so alone, that I wish I’ve had someone shown me that I wasn’t alone, nor was I in the wrong for choosing self love over old world paradigms. So cheers to love, forgiveness, gratefulness and a life built by design. Cheers to learning to accept the process and growing, vs choosing a victim mentality and being stock in a revolving cycle of pain. Cheers for breaking old generational trauma for our children and allowing them to live a life where they understand their subconscious drives the conscious. And finally cheers to realizing that the only way to receive true love, is through loving ourselves first, accepting ourselves first and choosing ourselves first. If we do not know how we want to be love, then how can we attract the love we desire? . . #breakingthecycle #growthmentality #learnfromthepast #thinkandgrowrich #understandinglife #understandinglove #selflove #selflovejourney #findingtruelove #gratefulheart https://www.instagram.com/p/Cca1eh2LEZu/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[miracleyemoh]

Sometimes, we naturally don't have to resist certain habits, because inherently our purpose doesn't give room for it. And at the same time, our purpose would forcefully teach us to build boundaries that would help us to protect what we are naturally gifted with or inherently in us. The purpose isn't just what gives meaning to our life but the understanding we have about our purpose. The understanding is that which invokes the action to act and not to act. Therefore, in all our endeavors we must thrive to have an understanding of what we are doing and who we are. . . . . #purpose #purposedriven #purposedrivenlife #purposefulliving #purposefullife #purposeoflife #purposeful #purposecoach #purposerc #purposedrivenn #understanding #understand #understandinglife #understandingquotes #understandings #Understandingyourself #understandingiskey #understandinglove #understandingpeople #understandingself #understandingemotions #understandingme https://www.instagram.com/miracleyemoh/p/CYrCOFxK4zk/?utm_medium=tumblr

[arbundance]

"Some people around you will not understand your journey. They don't need to; it's not for them." Saurabh Vyas #saurabhvyas #saurabhvyasquote #yourjourney #yourjourneyquote #journeyquote #yourquotes #understandquotes #instajourney #instajourneys #likes4like #likesforlikesback #peoplequote #instapeople #understanding #understandinglove #understandingyourself #understandingdogs #understandingkids (at Amalfi, Italy) https://www.instagram.com/p/CV0Pm2GvXGB/?utm_medium=tumblr