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#unfortunately its a mess w no meaning or anything. its kinda like that post like 'wouldnt that be fucked up. anyways im rod sterling'
boygirlctommy · 4 months
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i miss my ocs <- literally the guy making the story
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generationa1trauma · 4 months
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I am kissing u all on the forehead
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mochinomnoms · 4 months
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What do you think would happen if Floyd were to meet Riddle's mother?! Cuz I just read your Mama/Papa leech Headcanons about meeting their sons crush. But what if it’s reversed? Riddle's mother Meeting Floyd? (I would also say Yuu's parents meeting Jade, but unfortunately, that won't be happening)
“Wow, I thought Lil Goldfishie was a stick in the mud, his mama has a whole branch up her—” *gets kicked in the groin*
I have very mixed feelings about Riddle's mother, in that with the context we have right now she's a bitch and if I ever see her it's on motherfucking sight. But she must love her son still, right? Is she harsh because he wants to set Riddle up for success, but only knows the way she was raised? Is she scared of her kid getting hurt or failing, and so she tries to shield him from all possible harm? Is she so hyperaware of all the dangers in society that she feels the need to keep him in a little bubble, knowing in the back of her mind that making mistakes and getting hurt is part of growing up? A good mother would never want to see their child ever get hurt if it were up to them. I mean, she must care for him in some way, but how? In the manga or novel (not sure which) they mention that she fought back against the school to keep him in, but was that because she wanted him to have the prestige of NRC in his background or because she wants what's best for him? She homeschooled him herself to the point that he's an immensely powerful mage already as a teen, so she could've hypothetically kept doing the same thing, right? Is she a mother that truly cares for her son but suffered the same childhood, but she “turned out fine” so it must be fine? Or is she just a bitch, lol. Either way, she is emotionally and affectionately neglectful and doesn't realize it at best, and emotionally and psychologically abusive at worst.
I have a lot to say on the topic of Mrs. Rosehearts, about her parenting, the cultural differences of child-rearing that EN players and JP players might have. This post talks about it in depth, but I can say more on the topic later.
In regards to Floyd meeting Mrs. Rosehearts, probably against Riddle's wishes or while he's distracted, the poor guy is set up for disappointment. While it's implied that Mama Leech is overprotective and that she calls very often, if not daily, to check in on her sons, they still had enough freedom growing up to get into shenanigans and hijinks. I mean, they beat up a sturgeon and took some of its scales to fashion into earrings like a trophy. And they both speak very fondly of her, so Floyd is going into meeting Mrs. Rosehearts with the expectation that she might be a bit stuffy. But, she raised Riddle, his crush and favorite human! He's strict and mean at times, but he cares a lot for his dorm and is super diligent, she must be like that too!
But she's so…critical. She looks at him unamused, very standoffish, but is polite. He guesses. He can see where Riddle got his strictness from.
“Hello. Who might you be?” She probably didn't expect to have some random student, not even from her son's dorm, come up to her. He was...tall. Towered over her, and based on the color of his hair and sharp teeth, most likely wasn't human.
“Huh, you're not as red as my Lil Goldfishie is.”
She blinked and frowned, resisting the urge to chastise the strange fellow for his informal tone and rube behavior. Not her son, not her problem.
“Pardon? Do you often speak to your elders like this?” she asked, eyeing him as she turned away to watch her son give orders to his dorm as they managed an informational booth.
“Yeah, why not? They're just people. Not like I'm being rude or anything” She would strongly disagree. “You're kinda prickly, like a lionfish.”
“W-what?” She changed her mind, someone needs to put him in her place. “Now listen here, young man, it's quite rude to call people anything other than their na—”
“They're real mean, ya know. Venomous, a nuisance, can't even mess with it cause it has a bunch of spines—oh! Imma call you Mama Lionfish.” The young man snapped his left fingers like he made a revelation.
Mrs. Rosehearts had learned to control her temper, but she still had her moments, Her face been bright red, her lips thinned, and she opened her mouth to start berating the young man.
“Floyd Leech! What did I tell you about calling people names?” A tall, slender women came up to them, pale skin and hair hue similar to the man in front of her. She wore a cream-colored dress and matching blazer, adorned with gold and pearls, and a matching wide brimmed hat. She was followed by Riddle, who looked a mix of anger and concern.
“Never do it in front of people, yeah, yeah.” The man named Floyd pouted, but brightened at the sight of Riddle. “Oh hey Lil Goldfishie! What's uuuup?”
Floyd jogged over to Riddle, halting him midstep as Mrs. Rosehearts noticed Riddle almost bristle, trying to sidestep and get around Floyd. He was failing.
“I apologize, you know how boys can be!” The woman in front of her also towered over her, though not nearly as much as her son did. “My Floyd doesn't mean anything by it, he just a silly boy.”
The blue haired woman laughed, then abruptly stopped, narrowing her golden gaze as she thinly smiled.
“You're the man's mother, I assume.” Mrs. Rosehearts replied, smoothing out her skirt and clutching her hands together. “He's very...spirited. He's from the Leech family? Is it safe to assume that your the Leech family matriarch?”
The other woman's sharp toothed smile grew as she nodded. “Yes. It's not often that I come to the surface. But it's wonderful to know that I'm as—oh—well-known, on the surface, as under the sea.”
Mrs. Rosehearts wouldn't use the word 'well-known' as much as she would infamous.
“Yes, well. I would just remind your son to not so blatantly call people names to their faces.” she said, clenching and unclenching her fist in an attempt to sooth herself. “I'm not sure what your customs are under the sea, but up here he would be considered a riffraff.”
For all her talk about politeness, Mrs. Rosehearts forgot herself at time and let things slip out of her mouth faster than she processed. She knew she pressed a button when Mrs. Leech's smile disappeared.
It was only for a moment, but with the blank face and the way her gold eyes bore into her, it felt like her body and soul were being grasped by something dark and violent.
Then that feeling was gone as Mrs. Leech smiled again and closed her eyes, tilting her head.
“He'll be fine, I'm sure he'll find his people. After all, it seems he's already found someone in your son.”
Both women moved their gazes to the pair, now bickering. Well, Riddle was, the one called Floyd, was just swaying on his heels as he grinned and make a comment here and there. Each one after the other seemed to fluster her son further, his cheeks growing in color as they spoke. Most people who knew her son would assume that the red was attributed to his rage, and it mostly was. But (fortunately or unfortunately, she couldn't decide) her son was much like her. It wasn't rage that made his eyes dart away each time their eyes met for too long. It wasn't rage that made him scuff his foot every so often. And it most certainly wasn't rage in his eyes.
Mrs. Rosehearts cleared her throat, turning away from Mrs. Leech and walking to her son.
“I don't know what you're implying, but I must be going now. My son and I still need to tour his dorm.”
Mrs. Leech watched the other woman walk away, sighing.
“Oh, what a disdainful woman. And her son is so lovely too…she really is like a lionfish.”
“Yeah, it's a good nickname for her, right Mama?” Floyd came bounding over, stretching his arms. “Is' too bad she's a stuck-up, gonna real annoying if she's my mother-in-law.”
“Hm, I'll just have to overcompensate then and be the best Mama for you and the little Riddle!” Mama Leech clapped her hands excitedly, sighing in bliss at the thought.
“Oh, it will be so wonderful to see the family grow big...oh! By the way, Floyd.” Mama Leech walked away, Floyd following after diligently. “I might have mentioned a little 'something' to him about your cute rambles about him. He was so cute, all red and flushed when I said you're positively infatuated, calling him cute and—”
“Aw what! Mama!”
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scarlet-fantasies · 10 months
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Eren is your first love hcs
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Description: Eren is aware that he's your first boyfriend, but he’s not aware of being your first love. Also what makes you love/what he has done for you.
::𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬:: fluff
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𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡
𝐼𝑛𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛
𝐶𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑗𝑜𝑖𝑛 --> 𝑇𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡
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© 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑒𝑡-𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑒𝑠 // 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑙, 𝑟𝑒𝑢𝑠𝑒, 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠. 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑒. // 2021-𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.
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What makes you love him/what being your first love consists of:
💚The way he admires your beauty and looks at you a lot.
💚Sometimes says thank you after a kiss as a tease
💚Was the first person to see your room. Would tease you just a bit if you had stuffed animals.
💚He'd smile, holding up the stuffed toy of a duck in his hands, "You still have stuffed animals?"
💚"Oh, there from when I was three, I should've put them away."
💚"No its fine, I think its cute that you have childhood memories in your room."
💚maybe need to make a post about rooms idk,
💚his room is a mess
💚Was the kind of guy that loved watching you from afar and admiring you before asking you out
💚He once told you during one of your first dates he said, “I saw you a couple times around campus but I couldn't stop but when I found out you started working here, I thought ‘I gotta meet that girl.’l
💚Of course, you probably didn't want to believe that because it just seemed like flattery but he worked up to what he said. I know it may seem kinda corny for him to say but he'd only say that to girl he means it too.
💚I mean if you think about it men will change their approach to a woman depending on their intentions. And that's basically what Eren did here. With his ex-girlfriends, he didn't say anything like that. What I will say is that if he was serious about a girl, he probably wouldn't realize it. He'd be the type to not notice his change in behavior. It would take his friends to point it out.
💚Loves to ask if he can kiss you in the beginning of a relationship.
💚Will keep the relationship private for your sake.
💚Finds a thrill in it, really tbh.
💚Plus, knowing your parents and his parents wouldn’t be involved, he likes that more.
💚He repays you w kisses when you do something for him.
💚If you weren’t sure if you two were bf and gf he’d find it kinda funny that you were confused.
💚“Did you just say boyfriend?” He’d ask.
💚“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that, it's just saying a “male friend” doesn��t make sense in our situation. And I’m not really sure what else to say–I mean what do you think?”
💚He stops and turns to you, “Y/n, I can’t make the decision of being your boyfriend.”
💚Your lips parted as you looked down shamefully and mumbled. “Oh--”
💚A grin appeared on his face, “But I can ask you. Do you want me to be your boyfriend?”
💚You nodded, “I’d like that.”
💚When you ask about something he doesn’t like doing, like a specific date or whatever. He doesn’t tell you instead he’s reluctant and tries to see how much this means to you.
💚If you try to play it off like it doesn’t matter, then he’s definitely going to say yes.
💚“Oh well, I was just offering the idea.”
💚“We’ll go.”
💚“Huh?”
💚“I said we’ll go, I can tell how much you really wanna do this.”
💚He’s always looking for you and surprises you a lot.
How he found out:
💚You were in Mikasa's room and spending time with her and you got into the subject of your boyfriends and so she started to share about her first love and then the question came to you.
💚“So Y/n what about you? Whose your first love?”
💚Considering she’d be only one witnessing how you felt and Eren wouldn’t be the one to hear you figured why not let your best friend know?Of course, you were unfortunate and as Eren walked by Mikasa’s room he heard what she had asked you.
💚And he was definitely interested because not even he knew this about you. Mostly because he knows you'd never tell him. So he couldn't help but get curious and listen. If there was thing Eren was known for, it was that he loved watching you/listening to you and knowing everything about you, especially your feelings, which you'd never share or secrets you wanted to hide. So he couldn't help but want to hear, I mean, you two weren't exactly quiet after all he could pretty much hear everything you two were saying.
💚“C’mon tell me, I want to know.“ She urged, wanting to know what you were hiding.
💚Eren was on the edge of his seat to know by this point, seeing how dear it was to you to keep it a secret from everyone, including your best friend.
💚Mustering up the courage you’d admit, “Eren, is my first love.”
💚“What?! You mean you’ve never liked another guy before him?” Mikasa would ask, completely shocked about you not having previous crush or anything.
💚“No, I haven’t.” You’d admit, shaking your head.
💚“Wait so, your boyfriend is your first everything? Like crush, first kiss, all of that?”
💚“Pretty much.”
💚Eren, of course, had become quite smug by what he had heard. and he was definitely going to ask you about it. Especially because you'd never admit this to him. Of course to ask you he had to find the timing of this. He wasn't going to bring it up in front of others because he knew that would make you feel uncomfortable.
Confronting you:
💚You were watching TV together, well, you were, Eren was just looking at you. At some point, he wanted to get your attention and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. This caused you to look at him, "What?" you asked, curious about what he was doing.
💚He'd shake his head before smiling, "It's nothing, I was just thinking of how nice you look."
💚You look back at the TV being at a loss of words as you blush. He'd chuckle at your shy action, "I guess I really am your first love then, huh?"
💚“What?” You’d say confused, not wanting to act suspicious since your conversation with Mikasa earlier has quite a similar topic. There’s no way he heard you both talking, right?
💚“Am I your first love?” He'd ask, looking at you to give him an answer.
💚“No.” You’d say as you avert your eyes and look back at the screen.
💚He’d smirk, “You’re such a liar~”.
💚“Ah!” You’d yelp as he push you down on the couch and started tickling you. “Eren! Hey, stop it!” You'd laugh trying to pry his hands away.
💚“Tell me who your first love is!” He’d shout, grinning with a wide smile, still tickling you while you squirmed.
💚“Tell me!” He’d insist
💚“No, I’m not telling you!—Stop, no more!” You’d answer stubbornly.
💚“Never!” He’d chuckle, his tickling getting so vigorous to the point of making you breathless.
💚Seconds felt so much longer and agonizing as he found new spots to tickle you, spots you didn’t even know you were ticklish there. This lasted for what seemed a while now and you wanted to get out of the tickles and giggling so much.
💚“Admit it! You need to admit if you want me to stop. Am I your first love!” He’d grin, trying to get you to cave.
💚Being out of breath you nodded your head “yes” frantically at this but that didn’t stop him from tickling you.
💚“You have to say it."
💚Seeing that this probably end you just gave up, “Okay yes! Yes, you are!” You’d admit finally with a blush on your cheeks.
💚“Gotcha.” He’d chuckle, finally letting go of tickling you to catch your breath.
💚“You’re not fair.” You rested your forearm over your face in shame as you didn’t want him to look at you.
💚He moved your arm away to give you a kiss. You could feel him smirking in this kiss. He pulled away to look at you, just as you were about to cover your face. But he caught you before you could, “Dang I didn’t think you’d actually tell me.”
💚“Shut up!” You’d pout, pushing him off you, “How long were you listening for?” You looked back at him, wondering when he decided to listen on your conversation with Mikasa.
💚“Hmm, the whole time, I couldn’t resist hearing everything you had to say, cutie.” He smirked, his arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you into his lap.
💚Your eyes widen, “Everything, everything?” You asked, concerned, hoping he didn’t hear everything down to your fear of arguing and really liking him.
💚“Yeah your worries and how much you really like me, and you know basically how I’m you’re first love.”
💚You frown because you don't want him to know all this. “You weren't supposed to hear that.” You'd mumble, burying your face into his chest as he stroked your hair.
💚He’d glance at you before smiling, "What that you have the "hots" for me?" He'd laugh obnoxiously.
💚"Stop, that’s embarrassing.” You’d say annoyed.
💚"Never.” He’d joke, making you pull away to look at him with a frown on your face.
💚Seeing how you looked upset and annoyed he felt bad about it. But also thought you were really cute. “Awww, babe. I was just teasing I promise. I think you're really adorable.” He'd grin as his index finger tapped your nose.
💚At first you thought he was apologizing to you but really he just called you cute, to which you understood he was still playing with you.
💚“Eren—hey, you’re still teasing me!”
💚He’d laugh seeing you catch on as you crossed your arms, “you’re unfair.”
💚“Okay, look I promise I’ll keep it between us. ” He’d reassure pinky swearing with you.
💚“But still who would have thought.” He’d tease again, “you have such a huge crush on me!” Eren laughed seeing your reaction.
💚“Stop it, Eren!” You’d complain.
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@bi-effing-simp @lucifugovs @xxghoulishspritexx @sp00ksic0la @keithandlevi-ontheroof @songbirdgardensworld
@bubs-world
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jeonstellate · 4 months
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flashpoint: forward
junhui’s post-9 pm overthinking led him to you, ten years into the future.
๑༄ wen junhui x gender neutral!reader
๑༄ time travel!au — little fluff(?), mostly neutral
๑༄ bulleted list format — 3K words
masterlist | flashpoint: backward
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[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]
๑༄ wrote this almost a year ago && decided to wait until i made significant progress on the second part, but i kinda— anw. long story short, here’s the first part even tho the second one isn’t done yet *insert dancer emoji here*
๑༄ personally loved this, if you can’t tell by the word count lol, so i sincerely hope y’all do too <3
for this specific universe, the world lives in whichever time they wish
however, the ability to jump through time isn’t a common ability
nor it is a well-studied area of science
it isn’t necessarily a regulated movement(?), either — time travelers don’t carry passports or any documents that record their movement from one time to another
to top if off, no one knows exactly how one gets the ability to jump through time as well; it just appears randomly once the blessed individual comes of age
what people do know, however, is the fact that there is a set of rules every time traveler is strongly advised to abide by
first & foremost, every time traveler mustn’t mess with the flow of events — specifically those that concern an entire population
which means they can’t prevent any public figure from crossing onto the other side of veil — political or otherwise
they can’t introduce a current technology to the people of the past, either — especially since inventions have the power to drive social advancement
basically everything that can impact how history is told is forbidden
saving endangered animals through time travel is included in that btw
tragically
&& also bringing forward obsolete stuff to the present
[that means no bringing forward quality web-based flash games or the psp. sigh]
second, every time traveler cannot reveal to the people of time periods prior to time travel becoming "common" knowledge that they are, in fact, time travelers
that sounds like a trippy sentence to comprehend completely, so let’s paraphrase
time travelers can’t change when time traveling became something that people just know to exist
if they travel to some time in the BCE, they can’t mention anything abt time traveling to the ppl there — bc time travel isn’t heard of yet during that time period
same thing if they travel to any CE period when time travel is basically "non-existent" still
truth be told, no one can exactly pin point when time travel became a common knowledge
so it’s a little tricky
that’s why it’s advisable to keep quiet abt it when going to the past
unless it’s recent past, then that should be fine
but not so much when going forward in time
since yk, they fs already know that time travel exist if people of the present already know abt it
the third advice for time travelers is to not stay too long in the past or the future
the unofficial handbook for time travelers didn’t really specify how long is too long, so everyone interprets it differently
some think it means a few days max, while some think it’s a few weeks
some even think it means a few years
but anw
the point is, according to the handbook, if one stays too long in the time they don’t belong in, changes will occur in their present
which will domino effect
to not only their future, but potentially to everyone else’s lives as well
[write that down—]
in a way, that connects advice three to advice one
thankfully, you aren’t blessed to be a time traveler
sure, you don’t get to experience the perks that comes w time traveling
but at least you don’t have to remember all those rules
&& wtv unmentioned precautionary tales there are abt time traveling
unfortunately for wen junhui, though, he is a time traveler
which means he has to keep all those rules in mind whenever he enjoys the perks of time traveling
sigh
.
.
.
.
.
junhui doesn’t have a favorite era to travel to
he, quite honestly, just travels on a whim
remember that "end of the world" talk bc of the mayan calendar?
yea
junhui didn’t believe in it either
but, nevertheless, he still time traveled to the day after the supposed end date just to prove to himself that he was right not to believe it
&& that there was definitely still tomorrow after the so-called "end of the world" day
ngl that extremely brief stay in that particular date was for his post-9 pm self — the one that worries abt every little thing that has ever happened in his life & that he has ever heard of in passing
basically his post-9 pm self has some sort of heightened anxiety or smth, that’s why he never trusts anything he thinks of from 9 pm onwards
[i personally believe this btw. this belief has saved me multiple times. i highly recommend :D]
still, whenever his post-9 pm self gets too worked up worrying abt nothing, it’s difficult for him to sleep
so it’s best to quell anything that can be a source of anxiety asap
esp since he needs — wants — all the sleep he can get
junhui has also traveled into the year 3000
solely bc he heard his friend hansol play a song abt it
&& the lyrics mentioned smth abt ppl in that year living underwater
now, that lyric could’ve been entirely fictional, a result of merely observing the trend of global climate change
but, considering the world they all live in, it’s also plausible that at least one of the songwriters for that song is a time traveler
so, naturally, junhui wants to confirm it for himself
to his surprise (not really), they do live underwater by then
&& remember the flying cars ppl of the past collectively envisioned for the future?
they’re apparently floating vehicles instead, like submarines, which can give the impression that they’re flying
it’s actually pretty cool to see
almost like the future in meet the robinsons, but like . . . underwater
anw
junhui doesn’t just fact-checks the future or any future-related things, he also has a similar habit for the past
aside from making sure wtv he read abt in books are accurate, he also fancies seeing tourist spots in their young state — before the effect of time & tourists took a toll
just to name a few . . .
he went to see the great wall at its peak condition: complete & still intact
he had admired the taj mahal as a recently completed building
same goes for the eiffel tower & the entirety of intramuros
not to mention the not-yet-green statue of liberty
& disneyland, back when there were merely 20 attractions in the entire park
suffice to say, junhui enjoys his time traveling abilities to the fullest
despite not actually using it often
in fact, by this point in time, he hasn’t time traveled in a while: his last time jump being more than half a year ago
it was, if he remembers correctly, to visit the cats in ancient egypt
sure, he could’ve looked around for the pyramids too & the other wonders of ancient egypt, but he was literally just there for the cats
cause, yk, he just thought of them & how dissimilar they might be to modern-day cats
to no one’s surprise, there wasn’t any notable differences
so, yea
no other escapades followed after that trip
that is, until his post-9 pm self got better of him
wen junhui, like any other night prior, just wants to sleep
well, at least his body does
his mind, though . . . it seems like it has other plans
bc it just . . . wouldn’t . . . shut off
[i fcking hate it when that happens]
his brain, for wtv reason, just decided that it was the best time to think abt the future
not just any future, though: his future, specifically
sure, he has traveled to the future countless of times, but those trips were never to catch a glimpse of his own future life
partly bc he was never actually interested in knowing beforehand
but mostly bc he knew that the future isn’t exactly set in stone
sure, the near future might not change drastically when he decides not to eat his usual breakfast, but there’s no telling how much each choice dominos into the distant future
thus, it’s reasonable to assume that, just bc he sees it when he time travels, it doesn’t automatically mean that that’s how his future will play out exactly
really, a part of him just wants to stay cautious abt accidentally changing his future
‘cause he can totally see that happening:
after seeing how his life is in the future, he might potentially develop a conscious preference towards things that he thinks will build into the future he saw
not knowing that the decisions he made due to his hyperawareness actually altered how his future will eventually play out
wen junhui doesn’t want to experience that
like, at all
bc it’s def a recipe for disappointment & heartbreak
but, apparently, his brain begs to differ
bc it’s still trying to convince him that it wouldn’t hurt
to know how his life will going exactly 10 years from now
if anything, it might even provide some comfort . . . to know that, yk, he’ll be just fine 10 years from now
but at the same time,
what if he gets so obsessed w making sure he doesn’t change his future after he goes back to the present??
he would be so stressed for the next 10 years until his present finally catches up to the moment he time traveled to
oh heavens
junhui of the present just — quite literally — want to fcking sleep
so he tossed
and turned
blanket off
blanket on
one foot out
foot back in bc he remembered abt the monsters that might try to pull him by his leg
lie down on his stomach
lie down on his back
put one arm under his pillow
and—
nothing
absolutely nothing
he’s still wide awake
tragically
once he sees a semblance of sun rays through the window curtain, he defeatedly decided to compromise
and finally time traveled 10 years forward
truthfully, time traveling for wen junhui is v easy
at least after he mastered it
which took a bit ngl
he just has to think of time & place he wants to travel to, mean them, close his eyes, & let the magic do its thing
normally, he would open his eyes as soon as he feels like it was safe to do so
just to confirm that he did end up in the time & place he intended
but for this one specifically, he didn’t even want to bother confirming that he arrived at his destination
instead, he settled for accepting the different feeling of the sheets under him as such
contrast to how uncomfortable & hot his own bedsheets and blanket felt to him tonight,
the ones currently touching his skin felt comfortable & cool
aka literally the perfect recipe for sleep
junhui personally has been begging his body to sleep for hours now at this point
so after processing the sweet relief of comfortability, he basically knocked out cold almost instantly
[he was getting so frustrated—]
[i’m so happy for him *wipes tear*]
now, don’t get him wrong
he’s normally cautious whenever he time travels, esp if it’s within his lifetime
given that it’s a "special" circumstance of sorts
that shall be explained later . . . after he wakes up
he’s just really tired, okay?
let him be
let him discover how much he fcked up once he wakes up
from a deep sleep he so deserved
.
.
.
once junhui finally wakes up from his slumber, it took him a moment to remember what he did before he slept
still unaware of his night shenanigans & barely awake, he makes a beeline to the bathroom
except the path that normally takes him to the bathroom didn’t actually take him there
but rather to a closet that he doesn’t even recognize
undeterred, he turns & tries the second doorknob he grasps
thankfully, that door opens to reveal what he’s looking for: a bathroom
the harsh lighting essentially forces him to fully open his eyes
and he finally notices that there are two toothbrushes by the sink
he could’ve sworn he only has one toothbrush out of the box
so he absolutely has no idea which one he should use
much less why there are suddenly two in the first place
junhui decides to not think too much of it
and just takes the safest option: only using a mouthwash & moving onto the rest of his morning routine
he’s not abt to take a risk abt that yk
who knows what he uses the other toothbrush for that he just can’t remember atm
now refreshed & completely awake, he finally finally remembers what he did last night before he drifted off to sleep
he has time traveled 10 years forward
which means he’s currently in his body 10 years into the future
alright, guess this is the right second for a quick rundown of how time traveling works in this universe
if the time he wants to travel to is within his lifetime, his consciousness will enter his body during that time
which means he’s inside the time flow & whatever he does may impact the succeeding events
which also means he has to be extremely mindful
if the time he wants to travel to is outside his lifetime, may that be before or after, then he’s just . . . an entity with no actual form
like an invisible ghost
which means he’s outside the time flow & he’s free to say wtv & move whichever way he wants without bothering ppl
or even worrying abt accidentally altering the timeline
however, if he’s not skilled enough, he might accidentally manifest as a person that didn’t/doesn’t rlly exist during that particular time
which means that, once again, he’ll be inside the time flow when he shouldn’t be
actually, if he’s a seasoned enough traveler, anything is possible: he may still touch things without necessarily being inside the time flow, he may potentially alter the timeline without having a vessel, etc.
but anw
now, with all that knowledge in mind, wen junhui looks around with purpose
first he turns to the mirror to intently observe how he physically changed over the years
then, once satisfied, turns his attention to the bathroom itself: how he recognizes some of the brands but not exactly the packaging
and how painfully obvious it is that his future self shares the place with one other person
has inflation gotten so bad that he had to share his apartment w someone?
truthfully, he doesn’t rlly mind that
but it means his chances of getting caught are higher
esp if his flatmate happens to be home atm & he has no idea who they are
junhui takes it upon himself to explore his bedroom too
& look for clues abt who he might be living w
assuming that they are close enough, that is
it doesn’t take him that long to find what he’s seeking, thankfully
bc there are two framed decorations on his bedroom walls that basically answered all his current questions
one of which is an intimate wedding photograph of him and someone else
which means . . .
wen junhui of the future is fcking married
and his flatmate can only be his spouse
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
alright
now
it’d be a complete lie to say that wen junhui of the past anticipated that
bc he totally didn’t
and honestly, who can blame him?
dude doesn’t even have a significant other in his present
and, judging who he ends up marrying,
he hasn’t even met the person he ends up w yet
nor has he heard of them
bc he has yet to hear the name that he can only assume is theirs next to his on the other framed decoration
which has his name & [first name] in large print — surrounded by small handwritten messages
all of a sudden, junhui has more questions than what he started w prior to discovering the identity of his flatmate
how did they meet?
how long were they a couple before they wed?
how long have they been married at this point?
when did they marry?
when did they me—
and as if on cue, a soft knock resonated from the door,
instantly freezing junhui in place
followed by a: "jun, are you awake yet?"
thinking on his feet, junhui quickly busied himself w making the bed
so when the person who knocked inevitably opens the door, he can use it as an excuse
"oh, good. you’re up."
junhui immediately thought the picture has done you no justice as soon as you appeared by the doorway
he swears he even stops breathing for a sec after seeing you
"yea . . . i was just fixing the bed . . ."
he has no idea how he’s able to act like he didn’t just fall in love at first sight
but perhaps his fear of giving himself away is the one to thank
hopefully, his acting was convincing enough to foul you
not that he wants to lie to you or anything
he’s just being cautious bc he doesn’t know if his future self has let you onto his secret
and he certainly don’t wanna be the one responsible for that talk
"once you’re done, come join me for breakfast, yea?"
phew
it seems like you’re none the wiser
that’s good for him
now, all he has to do is to play along & not blow his cover
sounds easy enough
right?
right?
"ofc. lemme just grab my phone & we can head out tgt"
.
.
.
wrong!
bc, for one, he has no idea who you are
besides being his spouse, and your name,
and perhaps also how you physically look like,
junhui doesn’t know you
and what kind of husband doesn’t know anything abt his spouse???
not a good one, for starters
sigh
all of a sudden, he was so glad he bothered to take acting classes when he was younger
to be fair, he did take them to help him blend in whenever he wants to travel w a body rather than as a ghost
which is exactly what this situation is
except this one’s a bit different . . . in a way
‘cause now he gets to use it to keep his marriage intact
and for the sake of his future, he needs to not mess it up
no pressure at all ammirite
33 notes · View notes
chibimyumi · 4 years
Text
🍵Japanese Reactions☕ Kuromyu 2021
Dear everyone, I received overwhelmingly many questions about Japanese audience reactions, so here you go!
Methodology:
For this post I logged out from Twitter to avoid any bias because of my own user algorithm, and just simply searched the term “kuromyu” (生執事) , and selected “latest tweets”. As you can see, all posts have the word 生執事 in bold, meaning that was my search term.  There are a LOT of reactions, I can’t possibly discuss them all. What I did was just search at any random point of time, and take every other comment. I censored the usernames of the commenter to protect some (ceremonial) level of privacy.
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I watched the Kuromyu costume rehearsal and cried, this is not it,,I think it might be better to go to Osaka [performance] without expecting too much I shouldn’t expect the Kuromyu of until last time
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Honestly no matter how often I watch [the musical] this time’s Kuromyu is fantastic... as someone who knows the energy of the original comics, I really enjoyed it...
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In Kuromyu Violet and Chesslock were the real thing
Like Violet’s way of walking being so slothful it was like the real thing, and the rapping of Chesslock in the cricket scene was cool
The reception of this time’s Kuromyu is entirely polarised, and indeed [this production] has a very different taste than the ones until now so I also understand the people who criticise it, but I think that’s fine.
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Click “keep reading” for (a LOT) more reactions. Don’t lie to yourself and not click it, I know you all want the tea. Here’s the tea (ÒvÓ)ノ☕
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There’s so much thought going on now I have seen the PV of Kuromyu. Eh? Because he [probably Konishi (Ciel)] has roots in Tennis [Probably prince of Tennis] once he holds the cricket it just looks like he’s swinging a tennis racket.
Bocchan is just too big, I’m not sure about that.
I only watched until half way ー
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Calling it the Prince of Cricket is too befitting😂 Such singing and dancing, the youthfulness is exploding. They sure have stamina. #Kuromyu
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Ah ーSomehow a lot of memories just popped up tears really are welling up... even though my deep-seated grudge has now passed, my obsession for Kuromyu surfaced, and it felt like it got beaten to a pulp by its big brother...
My heart is recovering through the Kuromyu DVD but the big brother is still the big brother... sob...sob (the dirty wailing of an otaku)
TLN: Big brother here means something’s superiour or better.
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It became this production that made me think: Never mind the actors but is it the problem of the makers? Erm. I think it’s a waste. Is it because it’s the footage of the first day performance?
I don’t have the feeling that it’s not that, but that it somehow became cheaper? Is a really strong thought I got from this performance. With this line-up [of cast/staff] it should have been able to create the high quality of Kuromyu, but the impression is that it was a mess.
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I finished watching kuromyu. Erm... somehow... it was a theatre production that strongly reminded me of the first Lycoris (the cheapness of the set), felt like they tried to create the feeling of🎾but failed, and tried to do something trendy (🎤) but then the production lost the sense of unity.
Well Mr. Tate’s [Tateishi] Sebas was good, and Undertaker’s acting was good (make up...)
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I’ve watched the stream of Kuromyu countless times and gotten used to the songs, and even though I miss the old Kuromyu, maybe it’s not so bad that somebody who can’t let go is rewatching something countless times. If next time they will do the Cult Arc or the Witch Arc I’d be pursuing it. Honestly I want them to stage Lycoris again ←
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Kuromyu was this place where I got stimulated by Yuta’s TOHO quality, Ms. AKANE [Madam Red] and Ms. Son [Akisono, Frances]’s Takarazuka quality. The synergy of everything, the original manga’s story, actors, music, directing all were so perfectly done in the past three productions they sure have become a tremendous bar. Once again Yuta, thank you for playing Sebas for us for three times 🥺✨
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Kuromyu really was too fun, I’m in trouble
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Honestly ------------- Kuromyu was so fun !!!!!!!!! Yasue-kun, you also go watch soon!! Ah, you going tomorrow???
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It might be quite unsatisfying for people who only watch Kuromyus that are like Imperial Theatre grand musicals, but I think it’s good that it’s a bit like the Kuromyus of the beginning of before when they adapted the manga arcs
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I watched Kuromyu and had fun 😊
I cried, I laughed, it was amazing anyway!
It was the first time watching a musical for me but I think I’ve been sucked into it...
Shall I buy the DVD, I’m indecisive 🌀🤔💭
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Now I’ve seen the PV of Kuromyu I don’t think it’s worth going at all... Even in the PV the vibe of 2.5D was ridiculously strong...
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My friend went to watch Kuromyu and gave me the review: “I’ve seen all sorts of 2.5, why did they do this for Black Butler. It’s trivial.” I’ve only seen the PV so I won’t say anything, and I really get what I’m refraining from saying. But Mr. Kuma once tweeted the descriptions of Black Butler, I guess it’s fine that the Boarding School Arc feels like this 🤔
Click here for the translation of this tweet. The description of the Weston Arc is as such:
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(To the people who will be going to see it I’m sorry)
They did say that the staff along [with the cast] would entirely be renewed, but I feel like they’re actively trying to shake off the fans of Kuromyu until now   I’m a bit sad but I guess I won’t be watching [Kuromyus] anymore... I feel like      But I am buying the stream    I’ll think about it after I’ve bought it...
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Anyway about Kuromyu, my mom said she wanted to watch it too so I watched it again with her yesterday, and she sure had a lot to say 😶 My father pulled this weird face of “what is this even” and I had to see him off halfway 😑 I thought about buying the stream of the final performance, but I guess I don’t need a second viewing. I don’t feel like watching the archive either. I really liked the Kuromyu of until now, my shock is too big.
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At the beginning [of the musical] we looked back on Lycoris, Circus and Luxury Liner... kinda like some sort of recap, but I thought “huh?”... now I just want to watch that. I used to like Kuromyu, I really have trouble accepting it this time it’s painful.
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But honestly when talking about Kuromyu it’s the Sebas with the superb voice who sung about the dynamic with the little lord full of emotion and built the world view, and for better or for worse the world view of Kuroshitsuji is maintained through Sebaciel, the songs, the directing of Sebaciel, but what happened there. Whether you should watch it or not. The past 3 productions were masterpieces、、、
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But Sebas is not Mr. Furukawa, Ciel is not Reo-kun and even Mr. Izumi’s [role] of Undertaker was unfortunately changed, this is the new Kuromyu huh...
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I watched the stream of the first performance.
I liked the songs so I checked, and I knew it.
This time has a lot of laughing factors, and I thought it was good it had a fresh cast.
I didn’t expect the cricket scene to be taken that far. I thought it was Tenimyu.
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Kuromyu, this time be it the story, script, directing or casting, I thought: “it’s more enjoyable to take up this [musical] while temporarily erasing the memories of until now ~🎶”, and I watched the theatre piece without looking back to the past productions, and that was the right decision   To the people who came to love Kuromyu of until now, it’s safer to watch it while temporarily erasing the memories.
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Did Kuromyu turn into Tenimyu half way?! I thought,
and the Elite Musical → 2.5D Musical transformation I also felt
Konishibocchan being cutesy was cute, and the P4′s desperate faces resonated all went by in a flash
Above was the report from the theatre ☺️
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I went to Kuromyu
I went into it knowing it’d surely be something different from the past productions so it indeed turned out to be so
There were parts that made me go “erm the script....” and also this part that made me go “was it really necessary to make Undertaker descend into that dream in Act 1 just because you wanted to give him stage time??”
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I went into 2 shocks gradually
Sebas doesn’t sing He only sings properly at the very beginning of the beginning Even though he’s Sebas There’s no ending solo Even though he’s Sebas
You’re the ♪ah~a~a~ number-one main character though!! That’s why this one!!! Is the N・E・W production--!!!!
I am in shock
I   A M  I  N   S  H  O  C  K  ANGER!!!
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I watched the Kuromyu stream!
It was TOTALLY 2.5D~❕❕😁It was also a school setting and the Tenimyu vibes were strong (laughs)
It’s a bit of a shame that Ciel isn’t played by a child actor anymore, but because he has more stage time than Sebas has this time I caccept it.
Sebas and Ciel’s visuals are also good ~ ☺️ 
It’d be even cooler if they increased the fight scenes with Sebas though.
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@ivvy_toshiki [Tateishi Toshiki (Sebastian)’s Twitter account]
Thanks for the hard work in the performance.
Today I saw the “first viewing of Kuromyu” of my dreams 🥀😆 Regardless of what I could say Sebastian’s beauty is from beginning to end spellbinding ☺️  My eyes were very happy. moreover, the songs and the killing were also AMAZING 😍 my eyes were nailed to Sebastian. I want to watch it again 💕☺️  I wish that the performances will go without a hitch until the final performance ❕
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I was so happy to see the recap of the past productions
I really liked the Circus Arc (original comics), and even though it was comedy it really dived into the darkness! That was the story I also didn’t expect to see the Luxury Liner Arc So Undertaker, for real... for
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Up to the last time there weren’t that many songs in total, but there were songs like I shall become your pawn and sword and the contract that made me go BATHUMP--- I have to rewatch this number!!! It’s a shame that this time there were no songs like that.
#Kuromyu
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Calling it the Prince of Cricket is too accurate 😂 They sang and danced so much, the youthfulness was bouncing off it. What stamina they have. #Kuromyu
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What’s different from the last time is the strong 2.5D vibe...... Until now the ages [of the characters] were fairly faithful [to canon] and in a good way there was no 2.5D-ness and I could just enjoy it as a proper theatre piece This time both the casting including the music had a strong 2.5D vibe for better or for worse #Kuromyu
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Very personally! Matsushita’s Sebas was “heavy as the evil of evil and beautiful”, and Furukawa’s Sebas was  “evil, strong and unapproachable and beautiful and gorgeous”, and Tateishi’s was “light hearted and beautiful and a florid kind of evil”!! (My vocabulary is failing me) All Sebastians have a different aura about them it’s fantastic!!! #Kuromyu
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The new Sebas is good
Overall
It’s this arc so that it’d get a chit-chat idol? vibe was within the expectation The cricket of the second half had a bad vibe and I was sick of it It might have been different had I watched it live I don’t like the Boarding School and Green Witch arc that much to begin with I am looking forward to the appearance of the real Ciel That's it for now
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I don’t know why I’m mentally dead but it must be that, I watched the Kuromyu stream and I am thoroughly dead, mentally dead, but as I managed to say this I’ve reached a level that I recovered a bit??? I am too tired but I don’t feel like sleeping, but if I doze a bit then I realise my fatigue and feel like sleeping unnecessarily
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This time’s kuromyu... erm I guess I’ll quit 🤔
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I’ll be rant-puking for a bit
I’ve seen a lot of Tenimyu and A-stage [Mankai A3] but it’s not like I wanted to see that in Kuromyu... What I wanted to see was Kuromyu...
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I watched the video of the Kuromyu PV? but it’s impossible. Watching the PV [I thought] children should be played by children... and as I watched their interaction it’s not the character building I had in mind... and there’s no wound on the vice principal’s forehead. I planned to watch the stream of the final performance, but I’m hesitant about spending more money to watch that... If I can’t accept Ciel and Sebastian I can’t watch this, that’s just me...
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Now I’ve read the reviews of Kuromyu all are saying it went back to 2.5D, and I think that it’s not worth going after all. It’s probably because the Kuromyus until now far surpassed the quality of 2.5D... I guess it’s fine if one were to go for the cast, but I really loved the Kuromyu of until now.
52 notes · View notes
curechocolattymilk · 3 years
Text
TES V OC Thingie
[Got tagged by @jessaryss​ ! ]
Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.
✧✧✧ General
Current Level: 56
Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes
Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War
Pronouns: They/Them
Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???
Race(s): Argonian
Place of Origin: Hammerfell
Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha
✧✧✧ Locations
Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)
Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun
What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)
Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch
# of Locations Discovered?: 274
Dungeons Cleared: 104
Misc. Quests Completed: 87
Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.
✧✧✧ Main Quest
Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes
How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol
Main Quests Completed: 21
Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks
Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45
Words of Power Learned: 64
Shouts Mastered: 21
Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend
✧✧✧ Combat
Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.
Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.
Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)
# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D
Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.
Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.
Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.
People Killed: 945
Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)
Undead Killed: 766
Automatons Killed: 105
Daedra Killed: 136
✧✧✧ Magic
Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess
Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods
Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know
Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )
College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8
Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.
Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.
Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.
✧✧✧ Crime
Current Gold: 10,640
How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps
Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240
For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.
Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)
Locks Picked: 15 i think?
Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine
Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol
Murders: 28
Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks
Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm
Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)
Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20
Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!
✧✧✧ Relationships
Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas
Current Companions: atm? none
Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya
Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi
Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)
Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.
Sexual Orientation:
GAY
✧✧✧ Religion
Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there
Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.
They are also Hircine's champion.
Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)
Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?
How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.
How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.
Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)
✧✧✧ Politics
Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.
Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops
Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.
Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.
Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.
Civil War Quests Completed: 0
✧✧✧ Personal
How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.
A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn
Days Past In Game: 196
Hours of Sleep: 846
Food Items Consumed: 1833
How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story
Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it
Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao
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And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!
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horde-princess · 4 years
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How do you think Catra made peace with her role in Angella’s entrapment (or death, depending on how you interpret it, i’ve seen both)? When she’s speaking to Hordak, she seems quite proud of it- “It worked out for us, didn’t it? Their queen is gone, the rebellion’s a mess!” And following Catra joining the rebels, it isn’t really addressed, as I know you & others have lamented. I think your metas are extremely well-written & I was curious about your perspective on this. Do you think she was
(2/2) remorseful? How do you think she made peace w/ it after the fact? How do you think the others would go about forgiving her for it, if at all? (I’d imagine Glimmer would have the hardest time, but she’s also caused similar harm to Etheria, so maybe not? I believe that’s what allowed her to empathize most with Catra also.) I apologize if you’ve answered asks related to Angella before! Also, your religious metas have been extremely cathartic reads & I wanted to thank you for them!
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thank YOU so much for reading them 😭💕 yeah the thing is there’s so little in canon to go off of so ill try to get that sorted first and go from there
thats an interesting quote to bring up from 4x01. part of me is like “noo she didnt mean it she just needed to sell her worth to hordak” and another part is like yeah it makes sense she’d be proud, the leader of their enemy was gone even if its not something she can really take credit for it was still a huge victory. but in my opinion it doesnt weigh for or against any conclusion since its pre-redemption so lets try looking at some other moments
there’s her confrontation about the portal with scorpia in the same episode, you could argue her extreme anger there and the way she forces herself to relax shows that she’s trying to shove down her guilt. then ofc she has that nightmare in 4x03, and afterward her anxious reaction when adora brings it up. this stuff is super consistent with the way catra’s character is written, like they never spell her feelings out you gotta dig a little deeper u know
also this is stretching honestly but its something ive been thinking about a lot???? in 5x07 when glimmer mentions her dad? why have catra jump off adoras lap after THAT particular line.. if not to associate her unease about returning to etheria with angella 🤔🤔 super curious what yall think about this
(side note, not canon per se but storyboard artist Mickey Quinn drew this picture of Catra saying “I’m sorry” to Angella during a livestream -- could just be her own thoughts but likely reflects general feelings of the crew!)
idr anything else in canon so yeah unfortunately the writers didnt want to address angella directly, but with these brief moments i think there WAS a deliberate intention for fans to kinda read between the lines and assume that catra’s guilt re: the portal also related specifically to angella. it took me forever to get over it lkdfjld im still not tbh
but as far as catra making peace with it, season 5 is proof enough that yeah she would take full responsibility and feel terrible about it, like next to hurting adora it would have to be her biggest regret... its not something she’d come to terms with on her own i think it would take everyone’s reassurance and thats part of the beauty of the show u know the theme of friendship and forgiveness 😌 but before that could happen personally i wouldve liked to see everyone have time to grieve and process and just be angry. but like i agree i think glimmer would logically understand why catra did it but the emotional process of forgiveness would be a much longer journey for her and itd be amazing to see their friendship deepen because of it.. also i dont think we talk about this enough but angella was like a mother to bow and adora as well!!! i think they’d be v protective/defensive of glimmer for a while and there’d be some interesting tension between the 4 of them..  thats in my perfect world like if the show had 10 seasons haha. heres a post that talks a little bit more about what i wouldve liked to see happen in canon
also self plug i wrote a fic about this actually where i explore some thoughts on how catra and others dealt with her role in angellas death if ur interested 😇 just bc i think it expresses my feelings better than anything else i could say
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arden-in-the-garden · 4 years
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Racism on PokeFarm Q
So! This is gonna be a long post, so i’ll be putting all of the content below a read more cut. The gist is that the staff of PokeFarm Q are racist and do not give a single fuck about the Indigenous communities, and explicitly stated they will not even attempt to do anything about cultural appropriation. In the past staff members have also voiced their lack of support for the BLM movement. I’ve gathered transcripts and screenshots from the conversation between myself and the member that started this and between myself and staff.
tw for below the cut: ment. of r*pe, ment. of cannibalism, the word wendig*ag repeatedly uncensored, racism ment., cultural appropriation ment.
This morning I came across a user by the name of  TrüêWêndïgø, and they were messaged in regards to their username
ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:13:03 (1 hour ago) Hey, are you Alqonquin/Anishinaabe? TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:17:17 (1 hour ago) I am an Algonquian Wendigo if that is what you are asking. Why? ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:20:10 (1 hour ago) Figured I'd ask. There a lot of non-Natives that use the term for Wendig*ag trivially, and I promised nA friends that if I saw it I'd check on it, and to help try and deter its usage TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:23:39 (1 hour ago) I am kinda obsessed with the Wendigo, so I read about them a lot. I am Australian, so if I have gotten this wrong in any way, I would like to correct myself. I hope I am using it correctly ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:26:59 (1 hour ago) Ahh, let me help you out then! They're, like, NOT something to mess with. They're feared, through and through, to the point where speaking or even writing the name is forbidden (which is why it's usually censored). They're not able to be befriended or tamed or worked with; they are the pure form of evil distilled into a physical being, often from greed or due to cannibalism! They're definitely not the kind of thing to be revered or messed with, they're just evil, straight up. I don't think you can change your username, but I'd discourage you from using it in the future, especially as a non-Native TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:30:46 (1 hour ago) I have already accepted death because I got a wendigo oc. I only discovered the creature becuase my oc was made before I learnt about them. My unusual deerman with the taut skin and a thirst for blood. I apologise if I upset anyone with my username. ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:34:52 (56 minutes ago) Fwiw the, like, "fanon" (not the right term but you know what I mean?) depiction of them has no root in any of the beliefs? No one really knows where that came from (except, like, white people trying to steal things that aren't theirs and mainstream religious figures for their own gain) So your OC can very well just be an angry bloodthirsty deer man that isn't infringing on First Nations beliefs and appropriating from a closed belief system not open to outsiders. I doubt you meant any harm, but I'd STRONGLY encourage you to not use the term or name in the future TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:43:15 (47 minutes ago) I mean, I didn't try to steal anything, I just think the creature is awesome, kinda like the Sirenhead thing. I love to learn about mythology and legends. I think the only problem is that I've used the term Wendigo too much, and once again, I am sorry for that. I respect wishes and all that, but me learning about the creature and having my oc being a Wendigo kinda helped me through bad times. I like to create art [stories or drawings] keeps me happy. Again, sorry, but I would like to continue using the term. Only because of an oc. I understand how disresptectful I am, and I understand if you don't like this, but I'm not trying to upset anyone. ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:50:10 (40 minutes ago) "but please sir, that's my comfort cultural appropriation and misuse of First Nations beliefs". Like,,,yeah, it is really disrespectful. You're using it wrong, and it's not open to you, and you can't use it. Comparing it to Sirenhead is also REALLY disrespectful? Like, you're taking a sacred piece of a belief system and equating it to a shitty Internet monster :/ I obviously can't force you but you're wrong and you're well aware that you are, and you're being selfish and unkind :// you need to stop, and I've been really nice about this and handling it because I know Natives are tired of having to do it, but please do not mistake my kindness and composure as a sign you can continue because you cannot.
Unfortunately I was unable to get screenshots of this conversation before my account was locked. Screenshots of the rest are available.
I filed a support ticket with the staff regarding it, which received no response
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About an hour later I was greeted with this error, stating my account had been locked indefinitely for harassment and violation of the PG rule
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I filed a second support ticket in order to appeal my account being locked and give an explanation to the staff. The following is the conversation between myself and Eltafez
It's 4:30 in the morning so forgive my ineloquence.
My language might have been slightly harsh in PMs with TrueWend*go, but they were violating the rules and have an inappropriate username and are flagrantly disregarding the racist roots their actions have. The Native community in every part of the world has faced consistent harassment and dealt with their culture being slandered, torn apart, erased, and what was left being stolen by people to use as a fun culture symbol or as a "sPoOkY mYtH". They are glorifying a being that is rooted entirely in evil and is the embodiment of the worst a person is capable of. They have created an identity around a creature of cannibalism, of r*pe, of greed, and of violence. They disregarded the polite explanations of the ramifications of their actions and the benefit of the doubt that they did not know what they were doing. By locking my account for this, you are sending the clear message that you care more for not rocking the boat than defending Native belief systems. As a US resident, I am already witnessing the brutal effects of silencing those speaking out against racism. You are aligning yourselves with oppressors. I will agree that my defense was perhaps overzealous. Moderators on many other sites I have been on have failed entirely in the past to defend the Native community and I was frightened this case would be the same and reacted strongly. I am still afraid this is the case as I am the one punished and they are, at last checked, still free to continue. Please unlock my account. If I am unavailable on the PMs, I can be reached at [REDACTED] for further discussion.
Eltafez — 09/Jun/2020 12:21 The staff of PFQ do not condone or support any form of racism. In fact, the team is comprised of people living all over the world. Quite a few among us (myself included) are from a different culture and/or race. You're offended by a name - I'd like to counter that by saying you're offending the staff team by accusing us of something we're not. Cultural appropriation is something we cannot (and will not) enforce due to the sheer magnitude of it. You see books, movies, games - everywhere really, that handle mythical creatures and even real gods (take Egypt, Greece, Rome, ... to name a few). Like human beings, they develop and change over time. We can't lock someone for having the name Anubis or Iuno because there once existed a civilization that coined these names or terms. There's a public beach called "Wendigo Beach Resort" - if the term is so inappropriate, then why is it called that? The user you reported has done nothing wrong - our rules, as they're written, have not been broken. The site is British and it follows British laws. You, however, have broken them by harassing the user and mentioning words that are actually inappropriate in the English language. We are fine with people spreading awareness, but it stops when they try to force their own beliefs unto others.
The name of W"ndigo Beach is actively being fought by the Native community. It's not the "gotcha!" you think it is. The term is used (inappropriately) by garbage human beings who have gotten away with it and will continue to do so because of people like you who will never uphold any kind of justice for anyone but themselves. You have failed. You have failed, and you have defended your failure by attempting to deflect it. This is not the same as having the name of Old Gods. This is having a name equivalent to celebrating the lynching of the African American community. This is a name equivalent to saying "I support Nazis". This is a name that is, at its core, supporting pure evil. Your staff may be "diverse" but it is obviously still filled with narrow minded individuals who will step on the nA community to try and boost themselves. I am saddened. I am disgusted. I hope none of you are in any real position of authority around children because you are teaching them to do that which the British have always done: destroy, disregard, deflect. You have failed, and will continue to do so until you are capable of looking past your own biases to realize that you are wrong and you are disgusting in your defense of the status quo instead of justice. 
Eltafez — 09/Jun/2020 18:06 Since it doesn’t look like your mind is going to change, I’ll do us both a favor and bid you a good day.
Gargle my dick and balls
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And thus ended all communication with staff
Don’t let them get away with this, and don’t let them get away with thinking that they can do whatever they like (or nothing) without any consequence. Idleness is complicity, and they are sending the dangerous message that racism is tolerated. “We don’t support racism in any form” and “we’re not gonna do anything about cultural appropriation tho” cannot co-exist. 
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siennaposts · 4 years
Text
PipeLine - Feedback and Reflections
Hi again, this post is about my critics on my game and feedback I received from other classmates. Throughout the make of my game, I was constantly playtesting in order to create the best experience for the player. Despite this, my game still resulted with a number of faults and glitches that I was unsure of how to fix. 
In chapter 3, Fullerton said “As a designer, you must define the boundaries of the game and how players will enter and exit the magic circle.” Unfortunately I was unable to set physical boundaries in place which was not ideal as this led to a lot of criticism. Metaphorically speaking, I was able to set these boundaries using firm objective driven gameplay which was received well.
I used Physics 2 behaviour to allow the ball to bounce off all platforms, coins and spikes, however this meant I was able to push the platforms themselves around with the player platform. I messed around with the density of everything with trial and error before coming to the best conclusion I could get within my skills. 
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When the ball hit the players platform, at times the ball would go straight through without any form of collision. This is a major problem as it defeats the players role in the game. This would only happen on occasions randomly, so we were unable to pinpoint where the error was coming from. It can be assumed that the G develop software struggles with the Physics 2 behaviour and was the cause of this.
Quite regularly, the ball would bounce from the platforms and get stuck, glitching out and either teleporting it to outside the barriers, or making the ball only travel at one angle and a decreased speed. No matter how the players platform interacted with the ball, it would make no difference. This is another major problem as it interrupts the whole game play, having to restart the game. I believe this has to do with the angles of the platforms and G develop not being able to manage the Physics 2 behaviour well. I was unable to do anything to prevent this from happening as it was important to have some platforms at an angle as a challenge for the player.
Positives:
“This is a very fun and engaging concept!”
“The core concept of the game is quite unique and can very well be engaging to players. The idea that you are a platform guiding an object to the end instead of being a character on platforms is an interesting twist. Music is hella awesome too! Has potential!”
“I love the core mechanic of your game. It feels like you are playing pinball but you have almost total control of where the ball will go. The art style and music choice were very on point too. I am loving the game so far.”
“Overall, it is a very nice game with innovative mechanics. Well done!”
“I really like the idea of mashing up old arcade games like this and making it fresh.”
“I like the spacey feel with the background and music it feels really fitting.”
“As far as difficulty goes I think its pretty balanced. “
“I also thought the actual structure of the main level was well done and had a lot of variety to it.”
“The base idea behind the game is relatively unique for a platformer and is quite an entertaining experience that isn’t a carbon copy of other ones.”
“The aesthetic provided via the art style and music choice blends well into a minimalistic yet pleasing experience for the user to play through”
“The fact there are instructions within the game without having to just rely on the Read-Me is a major plus to the game itself.”
Negatives (and solutions)
“Have the board move faster than the ball itself. More often than not, the ball will bounce away and the player won’t be able to catch it before it hits the spikes.”
“Rotating the platform faster would be good as every-time I hit the ball, I am just not rotated enough. The ball could probably move a bit slower or have the player move a bit faster”
“The ball’s movement seem to be primarily controlled by the physic engine, which can lead to situations where it is hard to gain back control of the ball (i.e the ball is stuck between walls)”
“The spin mechanic is really interesting too. For now, pressing W feels like what would happen if I just held A or D, and I felt that, given it came across as a different mechanic, pressing W should do a new action. Rather than spinning slowly, what if pressing W caused the board to rotate really fast once or twice? Doing this could cause the ball to fly towards any direction, and could potentially be useful when the ball gets too close to a spike and the player just wants to move it away.”
“The game seems to punish the player quite hard if they miss a bounce. For example, the ball bounces toward the starting cell (or section) when the player is already at the final cell (or section), which is quite annoying to retrieve/redirect. Maybe spawn some barriers after the player has passed a section to avoid this situation…”
“I think for this type of game you might want to use something more solid to make the levels out of since the cylinders seemed to be pretty finicky especially when they’re just slightly rotated. I ran into a few glitches with the ball going under tiny cracks and becoming epileptic. One time the ball came back out after going through the ringer and had gravity all of a sudden, so it was super slow and kept sinking to the floor. If the levels were made out of basic pixel art I think it would make it easier to deal with collision and would also suit the whole arcade style thing better.”
“Hit-boxes for some of the objects i.e the spikes are not fitting, some objects clip through each other.”
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“There are a plethora of bugs related to the game, with the ability to push walls out of place, clip through things and disappear entirely. It also seems that after the introductory level that your lives reset to 0, instead of the standard 3 as outlined in the Read-Me.”
“In addition to the board moving faster, the player would also benefit from the board being able to rotate at the same pace, if not faster. A faster rate of spin on the board would mean less time for the player to think about the direction and focus more on leading the ball somewhere. With how slowly the board rotated, it felt more like I was waiting longer than I should’ve?”
Additional Ideas
“Have a mechanic designed to never have the player lose track of where the ball is. Options for this would be an arrow pointing directly at the ball, or have the camera kinda zoom out when the ball is moving further away. This is just so that players don’t lose the ball within the maze-like levels.”
“I think you could also Frankenstein another arcade game to it and have Breakout sections of levels that you need to shoot the ball at to get into. Also maybe a special type of coin that slowly disappears the closer the player gets to it, so they’d have to line up a perfect shot from far away in order to get it. Another idea could be a different type of enemy that throws itself at the player and they’d have to shoot it with the ball or something.”
Overall, I feel that I have learnt many skills which will allow me to make a better game in the future. Stay tuned for the next project.
Fullerton, Tracy. Game Design Workshop : A Playcentric Approach to Creating Innovative Games, Fourth Edition, CRC Press LLC, 2018. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/qut/detail.action?docID=5477698.
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@uberoll-oystercrackers late night (early morning?) posting here but this is super nice ty and also again retroactively thank you additionally for all the long replies & kind tags you give
like really yeah it’s like, on the one hand, it’s fairly sucky having to have this thing where im always jumping the gun on considering someone Maybe An Friend and then having to remind myself / be reminded of the fact that like no probably not, which is true and yet sucks, which is just how some stuff is!! like sometimes stuff just is Not Good and is not ever going to Not Hurt, despite the fact you can kinda get better at living with it. and like this one isnt a huge deal even tho the larger problem of when ur like, lonely &/or isolated is kind of a whole real deal……
like it’s strange having these contradictory problems with it…..like, Being Myself has never really just been something i can Naturally do, so even just trying to be nice is like oh lord am i being ~manipulative~, and im always too prone to treat interactions like ive got to placate the other person, and then also just like….not having amazing social skills anyways in the sense that i know a lot of times i come across ~off~ to people and can’t really do a lot about that, but also, i feel like i’m always overcompensating for like, enthusiasm and just the fact i like to Get Silly and maybe i’ll act too cool~n~collected or come off like im trying to be all Smart and Smarmy and like jeez no……it doesnt help that when i was younger i generally preferred interacting with adults and so probably was trying to come across as clever and when i was wanting someone to like me i’d be real nervous and try to go too hard in seeming the opposite lol……oh the legacy of the time i found out my mom’s childhood friend who was funny and cool to us thought i was bookish (true) but like also snobby or something lmao like ah jeez i probably made too many sarcastic jokes about things….but oh well i was just like 10-ish at the time.
anyways tho i feel like that still kicks in and when i get the sense someone is cool and it’d be cool if they thought i was cool too i’m like Well So Then i gotta PLAY it cool!! and then like oh no am i coming across as a jerk? or an trying-to-be-an-intellectual?? i always have a lot of thoughts and i do go off when its like, also tied in to Opinions of mine, so im like, oh no am i coming across as trying to tell someone i think they should think exactly this?? or if i try to Be Witty and Tell Jokes are they just coming off as snarky b/c i hope not especially since a lot of times my actual Lighthearted Snark gets read as “i hate this and think its dumb af” lol. ahhhh i just do not know!! like, i wanna sort of dial back my Warmth b/c i can get enthused fast and i have a tendency to get too attached to ppl too fast, which really only sucks for me, but still!! yet i dont wanna rein it in too much and try to overcompensate and come off like im Eternally Unimpressed and don’t really care and etc etc and just…..idk its wild it’s hard to tell how i may be socializing awkwardly lmao ahhh….and on top of it all, i manage to be godawful at realizing when other ppl actually like me. like, that sort of sounds like The Opposite but i guess its just more of that problem of thinking that im going to always bother people….a lot of times it takes me like, months or a year (or two or three) to realize that someone who willingly interacts w me during that time probably does genuinely like me and is maybe a friend. wrow
uhhhh anyways lord that was all just. tangentially related. im Tangents
UH more to the point!!!! the good news is that yeah i don’t have to think “oh we’re totally real bffs” about anyone to really enjoy and appreciate Our Interactions…..and like i do have real appreciation and gratitude for basically all nice attention lol like, if a single reblog of smthing has kind comments, if someone cool just Likes a few posts, talking on occasion or like, ever at all. cuz for real The Little Stuff has always been a really good thing for years now, especially since there’s been plenty of times i havent really had anything happening In Person that was like….good interactions or ppl who were able to hear my actual thoughts and feelings about whatever and still be interested in interacting with me. cuz in terms of not being isolated and in what i find it easy to talk about and how, Online Interactions have been genuinely important and impactful in a positive way for like a solid decade now since i was able to be consistently Online and have my own accounts and stuff in the first place
so like yeah totally i really do appreciate stuff like that. i think its pretty incredible whenever anybody just like, thinks of me, and likes me. having None Of That Feeling is supremely trash and i so appreciate that i don’t have to feel like there’s nothing and that nobody out there in the world is aware of me, and yet i don’t need it to be that like, anyone is Constantly aware of me and like, intensely invested, cuz that’s just not how it goes lol and even kinda meaning a little bit to someone and having my tiny presence in their life be a positive one is a great thought and i really do appreciate it. Unfortunately for like….my entire life, The Contempt Of Others has been a consistent #thing i’m dealing with and it’s not great!! like yeah fortunately ive had the “felt so bad about myself that it eventually circled back around and now self loathing isnt too much of an issue for me” thing, but it still sucks experiencing it lol…..having any testimonials that like, whatever shit im talking about @ myself is fun to read, or i seem okay, or its fun to talk, etc etc, like thats fantastic really
and the kinds of leaf thoughts too, yeah, that kind of thing is nice to know too lol. i was hoping you were ok like, ten hours before i saw you posting again lol…..we’re out here……..
like yeah ldmbgglh whatever my weird problems are with being overexcited abt any Potential Friendship, and also being bad at realizing if people do like me, and also just being Weird and not great at talking, and overcompensating for whatever and maybe coming across too Coldly when rly im a fiery dumbass, wanting friends but also wanting not to be burned by getting ahead of things and being reminded that most ppl aren’t like, as starved for even just friendly interactions……..i’m better at navigating and handling it in some ways but c’est a m’ess!!! aaaggbfg
really what im trying to say is i do appreciate that sort of thing a lot yeah. i could very well Not be thought of by anybody and that would suck and the fact that i get to know that i am is a really great thing. maybe i couldve said this all better last night cuz i was kinda in my feelings abt Life a little but then also it was in a sort of déspresso way so, maybe this is okay lol….
also i worry i don’t express affection and appreciation enough!!! it’s not that i’m like Oh i don’t want to Commit to Being Friends ew…..it’s that i don’t wanna be the one pressuring someone else into being like uh oh i have to play up being invested in milo!! but then maybe my playing-it-cool just makes other ppl do the same thing or think i don’t care or something. like oh i appreciate this person a ton and think they’re great and they’ve been kind to me but if we only talk so often and obviously im not There for them and involved in their life in the way a ~real friend~ would be, maybe it would just ring hollow to say i love them, for example. lord lol……. it’s all “oh don’t dial down your kindness and affection” and yet also “but don’t wanna inadvertently push other people or Be Weird or get myself invested in something where i don’t mean as much to the other person not cuz they suck but because like, of course im just a fun internet acquaintance, which is fine!!” ahhhhhh the challenges. anyways!!!!!!!
the point is well i do like ppl yeah and i really appreciate ppl liking me. every now and then they do it online or even in person and thats just a Joy and i wish things were more secure!!! i also have to not even necessarily want ppl to get invested in me in case things go to shit too soon or whatever and it doesnt help that ~being open~ means talking abt depressingass stuff sometimes that like, i don’t mind being open about, but i also don’t want to put on other ppl. which, sidenote on that, im feeling relatively alright all these recent months even if im not technically thriving; it’s okay. it’s a hot mess! but that’s just How It Is sometimes!! it’s what it is. and ive had support from ppl in big and small ways that i know i could have had to go without and all the ways ppl are nice to me count for a whole lot and i have appreciated it, and do appreciate it, and will continue to appreciate it.
tldr 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
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wtfy-cyzj · 6 years
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*SPOILERS* CYZJ Subbed Ep. 9 reaction
Episode 9 is finally out with subs, so you know what that means: another play-by-play reaction text post! And it’s another 2-hour episode, so we’re back to the super long format.
As with previous installments, each major section of the show has a header so you can scroll if you’re looking for something specific. And, of course, spoilers and foul language kinda come with the territory.
Mission reveal and song assignments
Another two performance mission assignment – picking the third finalist pair and then establishing a ranking for the finalists – because they just gotta be ranked going into the finals *rolls eyes* - I could rant about how much I wish the producers would stop pushing the competitive aspect of the show while talking about it being about “breakthroughs”
Hao’s little goddamnit-esque laugh when the 1v1 mission is announced  :/
Anybody else get the feeling Victor’s the reason Eric & JC are worried about the other team picking their song? Like Hao might give them something out of left field because he wants them to show a new side or because he thinks it suits them, but not to torpedo them – Victor, however, seems a bit of a wild card
…! I seriously thought Eric had the card down the front of his pants for a moment there!
Aw, Hao’s smile is so sweet – I already knew Eric/JC got to do one of Eric’s songs – that little “you’re welcome” bow & Victor being totally checked out makes me think that was all Hao’s doing
So, yes & no – I expected Victor to at least playfully push to mess w/ the other team – he seems kinda disengaged though
Wait, is that Hao’s handwriting?! I was admiring it when Eric first revealed the card – I know people who only know English who don’t write that nicely – kid’s definitely an artist
“How can I not be satisfied with my own song?”  XD
Aw, that was really sweet of Victor to say he hopes they don’t mess w/ the song too much
I love that when Victor asks “by who” Eric & Xiao Wu both go “Drake” w/ a very soft “duh, who the fuck else” feel – and then Hao gets stoked when they start singing it
Yes! I’m so glad Jiacheng said that about Hao & Victor’s performances not being them together! I thought it about the last 2 performances, but since I didn’t really see anyone else talk about it, I wondered if it was just me. Plus there’s the whole cultural disconnect & not being part of the target demographic that added to it. It’s good to see someone who’s in the thick of it with them recognize that same thing
I want to talk about the warm fuzzy feelings I get from Eric & Jiacheng being so thoughtful about their choice and how this reinforces my desire for the show to stop leaning into the competition narrative, but Eric mimicking both Hao & Victor is too cute
I love that Jiacheng doesn’t know how to process Eric’s goofiness for a second – same Xiao Wu, same
Aw, the doodles!
Hao’s “don’t say anything” is great! – take a stand & make Victor dance!
“Okay fine, alright, I’ll dance. I’ll dance” – damn straight!
Second mission reveal
“Sprint Out” Attack? And that means…?
Meh… Another drawn out process to pick a collaborator? - it was cute w/ the ladies but since I haven’t seen anyone talking about the guests and the tease at the beginning of the episode was blah, I’m not really looking forward to it
Trying to ignore the elevator talk and not roll my eyes too hard
Meeting the musicians
Oh dear god, Yanan is so fucking cute watching Liron Man play! – tell me someone’s giffed that doofy expression and weird little wiggle! *heart eyes*
Ooh, Liron Man’s got a great smile – has nothing to do w/ anything but I couldn’t leave it unremarked upon
“The sound produced is very cute […] like a tortoise who lost its soul” – say what now, Yanan?! – that does not seem like a “cute” sound, sir!
Once again, being thoughtful and aware of the other contestants – brownie points to Jun
I’m so glad dude knows some Chinese! We don’t need another person stranded behind the language barrier even if it’s just one episode
Apparently, I love the pipa and didn’t even know what it was – now that I have a name, research will be done!
“My mother’s profession is also in the pipa” – poor girl stepped in it!  XD
Here I was thinking they reacted much better than with the previous lady guests, but no, still shy as fuck
I realize that as an apparently internationally-recognized musician, Wangtao probably plays the clarinet in ways that I never could imagine – unfortunately I took band from 7th through 9th grades, including marching band, so I cringed when I saw what he plays – and I immediately had to go look up this Eddie Izzard bit because my brain wouldn’t stop going “clahr-en-ahrt” and “WEzul WEzul” until I did
Watching Jun & Yanan discuss their options is a really interesting look into their personalities – “are we choosing calm or movement?”
“You decide” – brave words, Jun – I wonder where this fell on the timeline of Yanan deciding to leave the show
It’s not going to be a famous Western artist, Samuel – it’s never going to be a famous Western artist – sorry to burst your bubble, kiddo
Bahahaha! For all Zhennan’s “leave us a good one” in the elevator, Jun & Yanan picked the most obvious choice for the kiddies – …yes, I know I’m an asshole for finding that so funny
…Does Zhennan’s shirt say “same shit different day”?!
They completely lost that whole “working w/ musicians will be hard” thing real quick
“I feel like I tortured little kids”  XD
Someone’s setting himself up for a headache confusing jazz with jazzy, especially when picking a classically trained accompanist
It’s really cute seeing Eric & Xiao Wu being a little awkward with the pipa player after they seemed to calm with the previous female guests – they both barely look at her
I love arrogant!Eric, especially when he’s immediately replaced by embarrassed!Eric – I am, however, more than a little creeped out by the cartoon bull being blown around by, what, an umbilical cord?!
Aw, Jiacheng immediately defends his “arrogance” *heart eyes*
Wait, did Xiao Wu’s lyrics sound bad? Eric said it could “be a little better” so maybe the phrasing was awkward, but the translation of “lately, I’ve been scared of sleeping alone” grabbed my attention and made me wonder what prompted those words
They’re dorks and I love them
Poor Hao being left to talk to their musician alone
…! I totally blanked that this could be Minghao’s first chance to really do a traditional Chinese sound – aw, yay!
Hmm, Victor really agreed to do purely traditional? I guess “purely Chinese” doesn’t have to mean traditional instead of modern
And then we flash back and I stand corrected!
Performance day
Wait, they’re not gonna show how they chose the performance order between MH/Victor and Eric/JC?! I feel so cheated! thank god
Minghao & Victor are up first – 1v1
“I’m always ready!” *heart eyes*
Hao accidentally proposed confessing to the other contestants  XD – just because you think something is meaningless doesn’t mean it really is!
What’s cuter: Hao’s reaction when he realized putting in the other contestants’ names wasn’t the best idea or Hao’s reaction to the thought of name-dropping exes?
I love MH’s logic! Victor’s trying to downplay any romantic intention behind calling out a female artist by saying it’s about respect & admiration, so Hao throws out Jony J & Gong Ge - if it’s about respect & admiration he’s not wrong, but Victor’s face says otherwise – I laughed so hard I had to stop the video and go calm down by doing a load of laundry
I’ve gotta say, as someone who liked both JJ & GG from the beginning & still really likes them and as someone who started watching specifically for Minghao, I love that he brought them up again and in such a positive light. Fans can – and do­ – hate on them, but he’s got every right to continue to look up to them. He’s the one who was directly affected by their actions, yet he continues to admire them and voice that admiration. I don’t get how people try to drag them on his behalf when he says things like this.
Aw, it breaks my heart a little that Victor thinks making the song about the show is “limiting” their creativity – Hao’s had a lot of fun and had made connections on the show that he obviously values – how is making an ode to that a limitation?
I love when Hao speaks in English – it always surprises me how rich & deep his voice is – like I usually chalk it up to being an artifact of the language, but it’s genuinely appealing – does that make sense? Just me?
Am I the only one who thinks changing the names to their own makes it about self-doubt, not narcissism?
Victor’s so American!
I feel like Victor having to dance is a little bit of karma for being a pain in the ass  >:D
That little intro clip is adorable!
Aw, Victor did MH’s 8 hand sign!
Overall thoughts: I loved that! It wasn’t perfect, but I think, after Clap, it was Hao’s best performance by far. He definitely had fun and loosened up with Supernatural in ep.8, but this was a whole other level and I think a lot of it was from actually playing w/ Victor during the performance. I love that they switched it up and Victor had the vocal parts; he’s a talented singer so it was nice seeing him step out of the rapper role. And I was really impressed with Hao’s English. A lot of times, non-English-speakers do odd things with their emphasis on words, but he was pretty damn spot on. It makes me wonder just how fluent he actually is since we don’t see him speak it much beyond simple phrases. The one thing I wasn’t entirely feeling was Victor’s rap. It felt a little rushed? Cramped? It’s understandable since he’s working within a pre-existing song, but it did stick out to me. I don’t know why Victor was worried about dancing. That bit was less choreography and more conscious swagger, if that makes sense, and he pulled it off swimmingly. I wish they hadn’t cut to the audience during Hao’s dance break because it was my favorite one he’s done so far – less artistry and more simple fun. Can we take a moment to thank Eric & Jiacheng for making this gem happen?
“And we were constantly laughing at Victor’s attempt at dancing” – Eric! I’m glad he finally has someone else’s dancing to pick on but also smh
Eric & Jiacheng’s 1v1 prep and performance
Aw, Jiacheng gushing about the comradery on the show and wanting to help each other show their best sides  XD
The idea of them singing acapella is actually really cool – if anyone on the show could pull it off really well, it’s these two
I love that Xiao Wu seems to throw out more English the longer he’s w/ Eric – he’s gaining experience and confidence in other areas – why not English, too?
Back to Eric’s crush on Dilireba  XD
Aw, JC says they got close – of course they’re (probably) going to in a situation like this, but it’s cute that he’s talking about it – I know I’ve said it before, but I love that he’s so open with talking about stuff like that
Xiao Wu really looks like he’s about to cry reading those comments – and then Eric ruins the moment telling him not to cry
I already saw @bathtubofdonuts​’s post talking about them incorporating the fan comments in the stage but seeing them get to that point is so sweet
Wait, so why is it important to tell us the screenwriter lady is in the audience? Was it the OST for her drama?
Aw, Hao’s so touched already
I was starting to worry the editing was going to lose the comments to those close-ups
It’s not weird to comment on how pretty Jiacheng’s hands are, right?
Wah! JC’s teary-eyed!! I was already tearing up – don’t make me cry!
Ah, okay, so she helped Eric write the song
Overall thoughts: I was sniffly & teary, but I managed not to cry. That was beautiful. This is why I was worried when they were talking about making a more impressive set design in ep. 8. They do simple so, so well, and they really don’t need a bunch of extras. Just having that one element of the comments playing behind them was so gorgeous and impactful. I’m really glad that they didn’t have accompanists on stage with them because they’d just be a visual distraction. I know I’ve talked about it in previous reactions, but the combination of their voices is incredible. I doubt Eric has ever sung a sour note in his life, and I wish Jiacheng knew how gorgeous his voice really is. His little power vocal moment toward the end? Ugh! So good! I’m gonna keep saying how happy I am that they got to work together because of this show.
“I feel that this bundle here is trembling” – I’m going to be so sad not to see this sweet kid after the show ends! TnT
1v1 performance results
Nooo! I know what’s about to happen – I’m not ready for the angst!
Poor Jun looking so nervous over there w/o Yanan
I hate this fucking setup so much. I’ve said that I think the way Jony J left the show was probably at least partially prompted by the production staff. Knowing that Jun was given options after Yanan left and that, for all his extraness, Jun is super shy, I have a hard time believing the production staff didn’t go, “So you don’t want to be in the running anymore and ~play by the rules~? Okay, so how about we make it look like there’s gonna be an elimination then you come out and dramatically withdraw? Wouldn’t that be awesome!” Jun’s never been my favorite because his playfulness can come of really childish to me, but I highly doubt he would put Minghao this scenario again for funsies.
Having seen translations of this weeks ago when the episode aired, I was not prepared to tear up. It hurts to see Hao so freaked out again and try to pull Jun back bodily. And seeing the distress on Jiacheng’s face as he says “no!” at him, my breath caught in my throat. Ugh! I’m seriously starting to cry watching JC panic more as Jun compliments them all. X(
Oh god that whole bit after the interview section was… weird. It’s pretty obvious the way Eric & Jiacheng are smiling in the background that things were cleared up. But that audience reaction… It’s so cold? This weird sort of idea that idols “betray” their fans is something I’ll never understand in kpop. (This is taking into account all the chaos that happened because of Jun’s decision, not just what made the edit.) Disappointment I get, but there’s no compassion for the grace he displayed in a shitty situation or relief that he’s going to continue performing. This whole situation was made so much worse being in front of a live audience.
The interviews after Jun’s reveal are so sweet, but why does it feel like a memorial? It’s just shy of saying “in loving memory of Wen Junhui”
Top 3 ranking performances
I love when the show has to blur someone’s phone because it’s not the sponsor phone – it’s usually Samuel, but this time Eric’s the culprit
And there’s the performance order ceremony
Minghao, Victor & Lian Pieru (pipa) are up first
Interesting thoughts about the Mechanical Era – it seems like Peiru’s a good match for Hao
So the interview thing is the only lead up we get? I don’t want to episode to be 3 hours, but they’ve got such an interesting story they want to tell and Peiru seems like such a character, I was really looking forward to the preparations – now I do actually feel a little cheated
Overall thoughts: I may have actually liked this performance better than In My Feelings. It wasn’t as entertaining, but it was a cool concept that was executed really well. I’ve gotta say before I go on though, I’ve seen people complain about the editing of other performances, but this is the first one that’s been distracting to me throughout.  :/  If I didn’t know before going in that Victor was supposed to be the narrator, I don’t think I would’ve gotten that. The harsh stage whisper sort of effect in the beginning comes off kind of judgmental and, well, harsh where I was expecting more of an impartial observer style narrator. I wish his character had either done less interacting (to be an observer) or done more (to show his investment in the storyline and justify the judginess). It was a nice change of pace to see him being subdued while Hao was the higher energy partner. Hao’s rap in both performances this episode was great. They felt more natural and less stylized, which I really dig. He also showed his vocals more here than I think he really has in a while. At least it was more impactful than past performance. I would love to see a purely vocal song from him – no rap, light choreo – because he does really interesting things with his voice and we don’t get enough of it. [I just got a flash of him singing w/ Susu O.O] The choreo was impressive even if the edit made it hard to get the full effect. The end was great with the angry faces and the final little trill of the pipa.
It weirdly warms my heart to see them acknowledge they’ve been kind of at odds in their partnership up til now
Eric, Jiacheng & Lian Peiru (pipa) perform second
Uh, does Jiacheng’s overcoat have Donald Duck smack in the middle of a traditional tapestry?!
Not gonna gush about the VCR, but these two are so damn cute
We don’t even get an interview lead-in for them?!  >.<
Ooh, pop-style pipa is really cool…
Somebody put Xiao Wu in a musical please - even my theatre-hating ass would pay to see that
Aw, Liron Man reacting to them  uwu
Overall thoughts: I really enjoyed that. It was soft and sweet, and of course their voices are amazing. The set design was really pretty with all the florals. For some reason, thought, for most of the song Eric seemed strangely pulled back? Maybe it was because Xiao Wu was still on a high from the previous performance and the pipa is so distinct, but his parts just got overpowered to my ear. It was still beautiful.
Huh, Samuel really hasn’t gotten much screentime in this episode, even for reactions
Zhennan, Samuel & Wangtao (clarinet) are up third
Maybe it’s because he’s a good bit older, but I really appreciate the way Wangtao talks about Zhennan here – at least I assume he’s referring to Zhennan since Samuel seems pretty cool with being a kid – it doesn’t soften me to him, but it’s a needed reminder that his bravado may be more façade than arrogance – still find it annoying though *shrug*
Anyone else have to look up what an elaphure is? – it’s a Père David’s deer
Excuse me, mister clarinet man, don’t make me start thinking clarinets are sexy – I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that I’m probably gonna look up your music but that’s just taking it too far!
Overall thoughts: For anyone who thinks I’m just going to shit all over this because it’s Zhennan and Samuel, you’re wrong. I actually kind of dug that. It’s not really my bag, but I don’t dislike it at all. First off, the stage design is impressive with that cube setup. It’s really interesting having Wangtao on top of it (but also, get off the tall thing!). I would love to see a fixed cam of the performance to get the full effect. I really liked Zhennan’s solo in ep. 2, so seeing him go back to that sleepy, almost lazy delivery style is really nice. I’ve complained about him leaning too hard into his imagery (or did I cut that bit because I was being an ass?), but it was used beautifully here. Samuel really impressed me. His rap style still sounds a little like he’s trying to be someone else, but it didn’t sound awkward this time. It’ll be really interesting to see where his style goes as he comes into his own. And these are his best lyrics yet. Yes, I snorted at the LeBron reference in the otherwise whimsical song, but I really liked the honestly and depth. The dance break was beautiful and a nice escape from the more stock mainstream choreo Samuel’s been showing us. He does hip hop well, but I’m glad he gave us something more contemporary here and showed off his range. If I have a complaint it’s that Samuel’s voice gets lost in the “I don’t want” bits. I wish they’d at least brought him forward so you hear him more, or better yet, given him something a little more ornate to weave around Zhennan’s more drudging sound. His little vocalization before ZN’s final part was a pleasant surprise, and I would’ve liked more of that. They’ve made the best use of the accompanist so far, too. The whole thing was lovely and haunting and understated. Of all their stages, I think this performance has been the most effective in delivering the message they wanted to get across.
Jun & Liron Man (handpans) are up last
Why are the lead-ups getting shorter?! We’re going straight into the performance with no interview or VCR. I get that he’s not eligible for votes anymore, but I still want to see something, man
Total Pure Moods vibes here – fun fact: I wanted that CD so badly that both of my (divorced) parents got it for me for Christmas that year – I was a weird kid
Aw, is he singing along with Jun?! So cute! *heart eyes*
…off the tall thing, please…
Overall thoughts: If you’d told me before this that I would eagerly watch a Jun solo three times in a row, I would’ve laughed in your face. His style just isn’t for me usually. And yet, I watched this three times in a row (I zoned out and just listened to first time, watched the second, and read the lyrics the third). Thank you, Yanan, for picking the handpan. I never would’ve thought the distorted ring of a handpan would complement Jun’s very unique vocal quality as well as it does. This is the most at ease we’ve seen Jun on the show, and I don’t mean relaxed or confident. It didn’t seem at all like he was performing or was “on” but like he was singing for the sheer personal pleasure of it. After his stress in previous episodes, it was so good to see. As for the song itself, I have no fucking clue how to describe it. It reminded me of the weirdest things without really sounding like any of them. I mentioned Pure Moods, but also The Little Mermaid and “What Is Love” – as in the song from A Night at the Roxbury (listen to it, young’uns, and be confused). There were others, but I’ve blanked because that last one was a little too wtf.
“He was definitely enjoying it, really” – you know it’s true when the guest is saying it
Wait, no contestant reactions even?! Why are we getting robbed of the good stuff in this episode, goddamnit!?
Points reveal for the finals
This is for the ranking going into the finale – plus starting points which seems weirdly unnecessary?
Hao & Victor got 66 votes – why so low?
Xiao Wu & Eric got 73 – better but still really low considering the stages & past scores
Zhennan & Samuel got 72 – why so low?!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad my boys are leading, but they all gave incredibly good, polished stages and those scores really don’t seem to reflect that. I mean, they’ve given out 80s before – are the panelists given criteria or is it purely a matter of preference? – the contestants all look a little disappointed with the scores, too
After show nonsense
“passionate teens Zhou Zhennan and Samuel, gentle warriors Wu Jiacheng and Zhou Xingzhe, mood players Xu Minghao and Ma Boqian” – I don’t know why those labels amuse me so much but they do
I’m glad we get to see Samuel & ZN react to the handpans because they were so cute with the other instruments
Damn, Samuel really is a quick learner
Did he mean to play Eric’s song? He’s definitely got a bit of an artist crush on Eric, but that’s adorable if he was trying to play it. And impressive that he did it well enough on something he just learned how to get a sound from that the others recognized it!
  My personal rankings
MH & Victor
Jun
Eric & Xiao Wu
Zhennan & Samuel
Usually picking my rankings is super easy. My favorite and least favorite have been leagues away from the others, but I really liked everybody this week  :D
And now, another long wait until the subs come out for the finale...
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what are your thoughts on the treatment of the boy by Dammek?
mod spoon here !!! i know ur probably expecting like a short answer saying something along the lines of ‘its bad !!!! poor xeffy....... :(’ but im nothing if not thorough and i want to explain my feelings on the matter !!! the other mods may add on later if they please ^-^
disclaimer: i do believe what dammek has done has hurt xefros and i think that is so horrible bc xefros doesnt deserve that at all !!!! everything i say in this post explains why i sympathize w/ dammek and refuse to make judgements until we know him more. i do not excuse his behavior and i think what he has done is terrible but i think these things explain why just hating him is being unfair
first off: i see a Lot of myself in dammek. and i mean a L o t
in fact, dammek hate causes me a lot of heartache because it could easily be directed at me and the only change would have to be the name
in the past, particularly online, ive treated the people i care about like GARBAGE i just didnt know that what i was doing was bad until they would be like ‘ur a garbage person who treats me like garbage and i hate you !!!’ and then block me.
in real life........ i still kinda treat people like garbage sometimes
i say, all the time, ‘haha i treat you all so terribly why are you still my friends?’ and while it looks like im joking im really not
the thing is: its because im both unaware that im doing something wrong and that if i do know im doing something wrong i dont know the alternative
dammek seems to genuinely care about his moirail. he really really does. i have a Big Feeling that not one person has ever called him out for anything ! and that everything hes doing, while poor, doesnt look terrible to the eyes of other trolls because their society is so fucked up.
he probably had xef butler for him because xef had an interest in butlering and he was like ‘oh you like that ?? uh uh ok then we’ll do that !!!’ in like. the worst way possible
he probably wanted xef to stop playing arena stickball because it was dangerous and xef was expendable to every team. so he just. had xef do other things
he made xef that microphone for christmas, and my personal hc is that it lowers xefros’ voice bc hes trans !!! how wonderful is that
hes never said that xef should stop apologizing. did you see how upset he was when joey called it annoying ? its likely not something hes used to
dammek probably is focused on other things in his life and doesnt see the effect its happening on his moirail. and when it gets pointed out to him, its going to hurt real bad. r e a l l y bad
second off: i think a lot of people are forgetting this is alternia and are blaming dammek for some things that.... arent him
the alternia we’re used to is essentially run by feferi, who is kind and believes the hemospectrum is stupid
the alternia we’re seeing now is run by trizza, who hates lowbloods and is a tyrant
the hemocastes are a lot more enforced in this alternia ! this is likely a Big Part of why xefros thinks so poorly of himself !!! and it likely influenced dammeks poor behavior
there are no adults to help them grow. they get animals that can protect them but never speak. and popular media, which seems to mostly be trizza going ‘LOOK AT ME im perfect and if you dont think so then imma Kill You :)’
they also likely dont know what a healthy moirallegiance looks like
as we’ve seen in the comic, the quadrants are really hard to navigate !!!! and all of the moirallegiances we’ve seen have been... not great except for meowrails, and even then its kinda iffy bc of how overprotective equius is
i do believe the Ideal moirallegiance would be similar to being qpps in this world, only a romance, because i do indeed believe it is a romantic feeling
i just dont think they have any good models to base their relationships off of :/
lastly: dammek likely has severe paranoia and is running a fucking revolution and is a c h i l d (same age as me but im aware that im a child that is still growing)
dammek is an anarchist that believes no one should own anything and that there should be no ruler of alternia.
unfortunately hes a little hypocritical, seeing as he puts his sign on a lot of things and all of his guns glow his blood color, and tends to act tyrannical
but anyways, hes running a revolution in an empire that kills you if you dont mow ur lawn
if one thing goes wrong. one single thing. him, xefros, and everyone involved will get killed without a second thought
so his paranoia is understandable
he obviously uses code allllll the time because his fear is that someone will notice and kill them, and his cameras on xefros’ house and room are likely so he can make sure his moirail is safe
he randomly tests xefros just in case they have to run
xefros says that dammek is the one pulling all of the strings
thats a lot of pressure for a 14-15 year old, especially if the consequence for messing up is mass murder of you and everyone youre working with
hes also !!! a child !!!!!! doing his best !!!!!! all of his mistakes are likely because no one has taught him that theyre not okay, and hes been given all of this power and influence
hes a bronzeblood w/ a highbloods position and he is on a power trip
earth will bring him back down, jude will likely tell him hes a jerk and teach him The True Meaning Of Friendship, and dammek will realize everything hes done to his moirail has been hurting him this whole time, and he will be crushed
i know i was every time someone told me i had been hurting them for so long
-
aaaaanyways huge long super rant about dammek over, i do think that what has happened to xefros is absolutely terrible and it hurts to think about how long hes been suffering like that !!!! i hope he gets to heal from it and that joey teaches him true friendship... like gosh
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vetranyx · 7 years
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Listen, I consistently see u post about not being able to cultivate the kind of friendships u aspire and dude like; its not u jsyk. (I mean sometimes it can be but it doesnt sound like you're a shit head like some people are sometimes). I'm sorry that you feel like you're forgotten :( it might be a cold comfort but u probably arent? sometimes people are busy or sad or tired and convo falls and you might feel too shy or worried to pick it back up. but thats not an indication of wether or not (1)
(2) you're worthy or friendship and affection. You definitely are and maybe if you havent found the friend you deserve and or desire at the moment it doesnt mean you WONT in the future. Sometimes things rly suck but theres always the possibility of it getting better. You sound rly cute and sweet and im sure you make great company once you're comfortable w someone !
hi anon, thank u for taking the time to write me a message (and i’m sorry for responding so late)
putting this under a cut bc i doubt anyone wants to read this
i understand what you’re saying, i really do
unfortunately my perception on ppl’s intentions is a bit skewed tho, because i’ve basically lived my entire life feeling alone and forgotten. like, that kind of thing can really mess a person up tbh. it’s hard to convince myself that i’m just thinking irrationally when i’ve never experienced anything other than ppl looking over me or not caring abt me or bullying me etc etc etc
it also doesn’t help that i’m p a i n f u l l y shy, or that initiating conversation is literally anxiety inducing for me lmao. it doesn’t help that i can’t leave the house thanks to mental illness either (yay loneliness)
i kinda feel like it’s hopeless tbh. i want friendship but either 1) i’m too shy to say anything, or 2) i find someone to talk to but i’m scared off forever because i think i’m a nuisance
mostly i just feel like i’m not worth the effort. i feel pretty useless as a person so i don’t see how anyone could get anything good out initiating a friendship with me lmao. and even if i do have someone i enjoy talking to i just mess it up anyway
i really want to try. i want to try to crawl out of my shell but it’s really hard for me when i’m constantly drowning in depression and self hatred, rip
i still appreciate your words tho, thank u. i guess it’ll just take a lot of time and recovery for me before i’m able to actually keep a friendship :^(
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fmchiwon · 7 years
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hello babies !!! i’m jin and this is the loml ryu chiwon aka c.won ( nineteen, model / child actor, elite’s lead dancer & vocal, and the sweetest boy to ever exist ) nD I RLY SHOULDN’T BE JOINING bc school n exams are a goddamn mess thnx ***………..but i still love u dw anw i’m here and i’m super hyped!!! u can find me on discord or twt (u can ask me for either!!) but i’ll mostly be on the im’s jsghfhdj . like this post pls and i’ll (v eagerly) come to you to plot!!! meanwhile u can find chiwon’s bio here and plots here (wip!) for ur viewing pleasure but w/o further ado here is some stuff abt him under the cut!
#1
just clearing stuff up bc his bio wasn’t that explicit and detailed! 
has been in the industry since he was five unfortunately n started out as a child model / actor
his family wasn’t that well-off but his parents had big dreams!!!! big hopes!!!! just……. not for themselves but for him…… mostly bc they missed their chance to shine a long time ago so now they’re projecting their aspirations onto him aka using him as an outlet to fulfil their dreams smh
he signed on with hjh ent at first but he found it so ?? stifling ???? esp since he had to grow up under the limelight and it was altogether just Tiring
modelling n stuff rlly took a toll on him bc he was expected to manage himself even at a young age and it stressed him out ??? ? ? ? so much, altho he got to hang out w the #starz but yea not enough compensation
it was kinda expected that along the way he discovered a passion for dance?? like i mean he was surrounded by idols…. and he often skipped modelling / acting lessons just to watch the sunbaes in the practice rooms
so he was more than happy when his contract was set to expire when he was 15,, he got the fuck out of that hellhole even tho his mom disapproved
their relationship has been tense ever since, mostly bc they lost their main source of income and she doesnt rly talk to him unless for him to send money back to their family
kinda has beef with hjh now, doesn’t make a habit of associating w them much. as a result, there have been like…….. wild rumors abt his absence and leave from the company
but in aug/sept of 2012, he secretly went for an audition that worldwide media was having, and entered as a trainee in october with dance
yeh now he’s here anxiously waiting for elite’s debut
#2
if u knew him, u’d be surprised at how much on-camera chiwon = off-camera chiwon
the only difference that on camera chiwon is calmer and kinda intimidating bc his stage presence is off the charts?? 
but his smile is one of the first things people notice simply bc of how prominent and bright it is, n he’s vvvvv charismatic and always makes u feel like the most important person in the world whenever he talks to u bc he focuses all his attention on u
he’s literally always the epitome of bubbly and affable, whether u know him personally or not!! v playful friendly and energetic and always tries to see the best in people, it’s almost to the point which it’s unrealistic
never seen without a smile on his face, he always has enough love to go around. constantly the moodmaker!!! he’s super perceptive to his surroundings so once he senses the atmosphere going down he’s immediately there to bring it up
doesn’t seem forced at all, 100% genuine and ppl actually doubt him for it bc how has the cruelty of the industry not wear you down?
but ha it actually has, he’s actually hella insecure about a lot of things except that he doesn’t let anyone in on his feelings, cries a lot into his pillow when he thinks no one’s around and makes sure that he’s always bright and happy the next day
he never lets anyone even think for a second that he’s upset or smth though, whatever he does feels really genuine
on a s/n Drop Dead Gorgeous is he even real
LIKE FOR REAL HE’S SO FUCKIN HANDSOME 2017 adonis @ his finest
knows how to make everyone happy (except for himself…..) and in a way its a substitute for him to fill up on his own deprivation of love n happiness
but he has the biggest heart, tries to take time out to help everyone when he can, and is super affectionate and can come off as overbearing / overwhelming at times
but he’s also a Heartbreaker ; /  mostly bc he’s super nice n flirty to everyone and it can be kinda misleading at times? BUT ITS NOT INTENTIONAL especially since he doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not ok to go around dropping random kisses on people and proclaiming his love for them all the time
once secretly dated a female trainee to protect her from the company finding out that she was gay
but that quickly turned into rumors wherein he dated another male trainee which….. may not be entirely false
a good friend, will always make time to listen to u and offer comfort
in a lot of ways he’s like a shelter and has been described as such by a lot of people that are close to him? mostly bc of how reliable and sturdy he is and how much he’s willing to take just about everyone in
haha but when he gets angry thats a whole different story
has the ability to stand up for others and will never hesitate to do so, esp if he doesn’t like what ur doing. he’s v stubborn and strongly-opinionated, however he’s almost always unable to stand up for himself, and instead he absorbs all the criticism he hears and takes it to heart
humble to the point of demeaning. he doesn’t believe that he would even be here without his members and (family…..ish)
gets a lot of hate for his singing bc when knetz heard his voice in one of their earlier releases they were like uhhhhhhhhh whomst and got a lot of criticism, mostly bc they think he’s just another untalented pretty face and that’s it
like but he’s constantly improving? and he rlly rlly works super hard to be better, and now he even drops small covers sometimes
ok but dance is the goddamn love of his life )-: posts a lot of dance covers and choreographs some dances too!
tries to contribute by learning how to compose and write lyrics, he’s constantly learning n experimenting w the help of the staff and his group members
SPEAKING OF WHICH he’s a total softie 4 them ok like to the level where he would give anything up for his members they’re his FAMILY n literally the only ppl who he’s ever seen him down
v loud, makes his presence known almost immediately
also he’s so!!!!! boyfriend!!!!!! icb
a TREE he’s so tall smh (perfect 4 u to lean on, cuddle, and be the small spoon to)
fashion is another passion of his, his entire wardrobe = fashion week all year long
a little hard to get super, seriously close to though bc of how much he bottles up inside himself. but he’s a little way too trusting and that fact gets taken advantage of a lot
has pet names for everyone
looks like he cant be taken srsly but he’s really observant and sharp, listens and watches his surroundings and hence he can AND will use ur words against u if u go against them
HE’S JUST A SWEETHEART TRYING 2 MAKE IT IN THIS JUNGLE OK thank u <3
if u read till here u deserve a gold medal
#3
i’m rly just here to develop my chara so i’m definitely open to any kind of plots at all! i mean it when i say that so plsplspls hmu w any ideas u may have whatsoever!!! or at least until i sort out a proper plots page or smth yikes…
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rannzy · 5 years
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now that i’m living in london i decided i might as well keep track of all the exhibitions i’ve seen because i know that when im 40 im definitely going to forget about all of this... i was thinking of doing multiple posts but at this point i cba (‘cant be arsed,’ a term my welsh flatmate anjelica has taught me)
sense sound/sound sense @ whitechapel gallery 
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this exhibition was about fluxus’ explorations into sound art. i rly like fluxus to begin with so i was excited to see this exhibition. it was nice bc the works were rly gud (i liked mieko shiomi’s embryo of music, which plays an entangled/mangled version of a cassette tape recording of mozart’s minuet -- direct from the accompanying text: “As described by the artist, it is ‘an awkward performance (as if music were taking its initial form)’” -- which i think is a great way to look/hear that work). the exhibition was a collection show w works owned by fondazione bonotto (never heard of them) though unfortunately the room was too small to accommodate everything it kinda just looked like a mess although i really liked the works individually.
luchita hurtado: i live i die i will be reborn @ serpentine galleries
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its a shame i cant get with surrealism... this lil old lady had some works about the universe and womanhood w a dash of like strange colors and forms and envisioning the light u would see upon exiting ur mothers womb. but anyway i liked this self-portrait she painted
interim @ goldsmiths
so this exhibition was an in between exhibition done by the mfa 1st year now 2nd year students to show what works theyve been making. really there is no curatorial anything behind this nor any description behind any work so ur really just meant to look at the form unless u ask the artist whats the haps... so i didnt really gather anything from it -- there were works that i really liked looking at and works that i didnt. my mom said the exhibition was too depressing because there were some stuff about death and racism and violence
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i liked this work by rafael perez evans despite knowing nothing, though i wonder if its just a better version of a spectacle than works by mark justiniani??? maybe i am just amused bc it is my first time to see it?? i dont know but i thought his work was nicely polished compared to many others from his class
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i also liked this hair work by pei-chi wu. i kept on thinking about where she harvested this hair and how she was able to make it into a loosely knit scarf kinda thing without her fingers getting cramped??? also the title (’It’s a long story’) is great
olafur eliasson: in real life @ tate modern
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it took my mom and i 3 tries to get into this exhibition!!! the first two times we went to tate, a part of the exhibition was closed n we definitely did not want to pay gbp 20 to get in to see an incomplete exhibition. i was able to see some olafur works in the past 2 years but its def better seeing a hella big version of it. im p sure everyone’s favorite work was ‘Your blind passenger,’ which was this long straight hallway filled w fog that u could only see about 1.5m in front of u. the light changes from white to yellow to blue to white again and its rly such an experience walking slowly and feeling for the walls bc u think ur gonna trip. im p sure tate advertises this as the main selling point of the exhibition which i think it rly is, nothing else in the show compares to this work everything else kinda reminds me of being in mind museum (he had a kaleidoscope tunnel thing, constructed rainbows from mist, and other tricks of the eye)
untitled by danh vo @ south london gallery
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apparently ‘danh vo’ in reverse (vo danh) means unnamed in vietnamese. danh vo collabed with a buncha other artists n ppl and used their work in his exhibition. the main space had these big mirrors with glow in the dark paint washed over them and also these portraits (i-D vibing) of his nephew/muse taken by his lover, which felt kinda call me by your name ish even though i havent seen the film. everyone seems to be raving about this exhibition though i only really liked one work, which was a letter sent by this french missionary to his father on the eve of his execution. danh vo collabed with his own father who doesn’t speak french but carefully replicated the calligraphy in the letter.
tony cokes: If UR Reading This It’s 2 Late: Vol.1 @ goldsmiths cca
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the exhibition was full of diff video works that all had some text flashing with like poppy disco/other fun music playing in the bg. the artist apparently is a professor at brown university and incorporates some theory and political jabs, w quotes by diff figures in history. he had a whole work about how morrissey from the smiths is now a tory but dont worry we dont all have to be tories when we get old. idk i feel like this work was a lil bit too lukewarm take for me?? maybe i have to sit down w it longer n watch everything thru and thru but i think that young hae chang heavy industries does it better
other spaces: UVA @ 180 the strand
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this was COOL HAHHAHAA it was super spectacle but i was really amused and intrigued!!! uva apparently is a collective of artists that work across new media and video and walking thru this exhibition felt like being in some sort of interstellar-star trek-matrix kinda vibe?? the first room were these lamps that were swinging around by themselves (kinda like the lamps u would picture in a police interrogation in the films) -- the room was foggy too so u couldnt really see the end of the ceiling it really just looked like lights floating. its supposed to be a commentary on surveillance n stuff?? typical things global north people care about but it was amusing to watch. the other works were like this light beam that made walls?? and theyd close in on u? it was reimagining space as framed by lights. and the last work was this animal orchestra where a bioacoustician recorded snippets from the amazon/ocean/etc and isolate specific sounds by certain species
this was a LONG POST THE END
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