#and mentally i am just. im so exhausted

[generationa1trauma]

I am kissing u all on the forehead

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

honestly wally is stronger than atlas. if i had to constantly calibrate to the nature of my reality w/ full consciousness i would simply lose my fucking mind

[nitroish]

i am exhausted. he fell into one of those bodies of water that exist on the surface in sky's era

[bunnihearted]

🪦🩹

[honeyloopsenthusiast]

thinking abt how not a lot of ppl talk abt (or maybe they do and it’s me!! im the issue here i haven’t met them so if ur seeing this hmu!!) how tiring and downright cruel being in love can be for a person. maybe cruel is a strong word but it can be so very disturbing having to think abt a person all the time and I am by no means trying to say that being in love with someone is a- full time commitment and a job and it requires you to put in the hours and shi- but js the feeling part of it.

I canNOT be the only one thinking it’s not all that perfect and that when we go high we go high but when we go low we go so fucking low that im abt two millimetres from touching the ground after falling from a 80feet roller coaster drop.

And by lows i don’t mean the ups and downs however subjective this may be from person to person- i mean LOW like there’s nothing the other persons doing to make you feel this way but it’s js the act of being left in ur own company and being so sickeningly preoccupied w thoughts of them that it’s physically making you sick.

Not disgustingly sick just- sick. Like this is affecting me both mentally and physically. I’m not irked out by them im not disgusted but im just on edge??

I feel nauseous and distracted and disturbed bcs I cant stop thinking abt them and it’s leaving me restless and incapacitated to carry on w my day?? and suddenly I don’t feel like eating anymore im subconsciously skipping meals and consistently depending on what they have to say which is robbing me off my will to js be by myself??

Again they’ve done NOTHING wrong to cause this. I have never not felt deeply abt a situation. love doesn’t sound overwhelming to me love sounds dangerous. it’s taking “butterflies in my stomach” to another level and idk how I feel abt that

Being sexually fluid and shifting from being cupioromantic to being in a relationship with someone can be so frightening bcs now im supposed to do everything I’ve never done before

I have genuinely (in the least self pity way possible) been so devoid of romantic intimacy that I’ve never found myself in the position to experience it. And it’s not the inexperience that’s driving me mad it’s the fact that I’ve subconsciously rejected affection and the idea of being the object of attraction so much that it’s physically uncomfortable to be unknowingly doing things that I’d never do before.

I love them and I still want to be with them. They’re not the problem here but the aftermath of being in love is just not spoken about enough and MAYBE IM GOJNG NOWHERE W THIS

[hybridkilljoys]

I've been an absolute emotional wreck since last night due to my narcissist father making me feel less than human so can i..........ask for some reassurance that i'm not an absolute failure of a human being

or pictures of your cats, that would help a lot too

[soldier-poet-king]

had my first performance review at the new job yesterday (and technically first one ever, this is the first Big Place i've worked for that does them) and im stressing and worried bc im so clearly new and young and inexperienced compared to my colleagues and i feel stupid constantly and i have trouble focusing and while the freedom and flexibility i get at work is very important, i also am constantly afraid that im not /doing/ enough, spending too much time fuckin around, reading, not being 'productive' the full 7hrs a day, etc etc

my boss, yesterday: we're really pleased and happy with you. i'm impressed by how much you've managed to accomplish in only 3 months, since you started so late into the activity-review cycle, [makes specific reference to a few extra projects I took on bc i thought they would reflect well on me]

also me: but what if he's lying bc he knows you're dumb and sensitive?????? if he /really/ knew you it would be different

[marrycabrerah]

me??? tired??? stressed??? exhausted??? I wanna cry??? yes

[arrowpunk]

Well I got a job

[ozymoron]

reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)

[plinkcat-gif]

the desire to tell the people in my life my troubles vs the troubles either Regarding Them or just not being appropriate to bring up. i'm in hell

[hauntedwoman]

almost pulled over on the way to school three times just to cry and think about how fucked everything in my life is rn

[bunnihearted]

🍽️😔🎻

[barkingangelbaby]

venting so much i ran out of tags lmao

[widevibratobitch]

im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg

[grcveyacd]

/ ive been in & out of sleep since my nap earlier so i didn't get to anything nor did i even look at messages :/ i will hopefully get to those tomorrow at some point. i've just been exhausted again, these long weeks are starting to get to me already.