#unless you also for some reason turn out to be a douchebag in the later games

[adozentothedawn]

I would like to congratulate Klavier Gavin for both the worst aa name and also being the first prosecuter with pretty much no dirt on him. I am impressed and will be adding him to my (slightly) sad boy collection.

also klapollo is better than writghworth

althought the ship name is terrible and i hate it

[crazyfor-toby]

hi!! First of all happy belated birthday no idea when you’ll see this but 🥳 I just wanted to see if you could just do some general kinda fluff for Toby and any other of your choosing during like the crush stage

also you are an amazing writer and incredibly creative whoever the douchebag who stood you up is doesn’t deserve you so get yourself a better man bc if anyone deserves it it’s you<3

so yeah that’s the end of my little rant and feel free to just ignore this ask, put yourself first!

-A ❤️

Summary :: Toby during the crush stage

Notes :: thank you so much!🤭 You are too sweet! btw I didn't know which Toby you wanted so I js did High school Toby but I can always change it if you want and make another one for him💟 I'm prob going to add Jeff later but I js wanted to get this out as soon as possible

Warnings :: none that I can think of except for the usual cursing

Readers gender :: None assigned, gender neutral

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

This guy is so fucking mean for no reason but hates whenever anyone else is mean to you

He bullies you because he doesn't know how to respond to his own emotions and he has absolutely 0 experience. Plus, he thinks you're only talking to him to mess with him at first

I can see him falling for someone because they were nice to him or because he found them physically attractive as bad as it may sound to some people. But, he does know when someone is only being nice because they feel bad or they are just trying to mess with his feelings he just wants to be treated like a normal human being not get made fun of or have people be overly nice to him because of his disorders but we can get more into those emotions another time.

Even though he can most of the time tell the difference between genuine kindness and people feeling bad, sometimes he may think that people are messing with him when they actually are being genuinely nice because he overthinks everything and lets his bad thoughts take over a lot of the time.

Would definitely zone out while staring at you as he bites his nails and hands... Gets so many side eyes and weird stares because of it too

thinks about you 24/7 to the point it affects his daily life and his mother and sister get worried

He would probably mistake his romantic feelings for platonic at first but when he realizes the only thing that changes is how mean he is to you and I don't mean he gets nicer 😃 your #1 hater and #1 supporter

He's honestly confusing, one minute he'll be thinking you hate him and he doesn't have a chance to thinking he does have a chance and that you have the same feelings for him as he does for you.

Meaning that there's like a 30% he will make a first move on you because you have to catch him in the right mood, at the right time, on the right day which is pretty hard because you'll never know what mood he'll be in and he

He literally just acts like he hates you and if you asked him out or made a move he'd turn it down but then out of no where months later he will ask you out

he's honestly such an attention whore and he only craves your attention now so good luck

the only time he can really talk to you in person outside of school is if you happen to be friends with his sister or you guys meet up somewhere like a park or a cafe which isn't that often because of his parents so he makes up for it by texting you all day

Reminder though that he isn't some soft and shy bundle of joy who is just hurt, he is crazy and is slowly going under the control of Slenderman. He can have major mood swings and will most likely make you end up not liking him for the way he treats you at first, he doesn't mean it tho he's just a lil delulu 😊

Overall, your experience is gonna be a rough 5/10 unless you don't mind his harsh words then it'd be like a 6.5 - 7.5

[jurakan]

Fun Fact Friday! Arthur's Sons

Once again, it is Lent, I cannot answer requests, but! Here is a scheduled Fun Fact!

Today You Learned about King Arthur's sons.

In the famous romances, and the modern works adapted from them, King Arthur rather famously has no heir--unless you count Mordred, his nephew and maybe illegitimate son (yeah...) who turns out to be an evil douchebag! And Arthur has to mutual kill him at Camlann.

But it turns out that there ARE sons of Arthur in some medieval sources. Nennius, for instance, mentions the grave of Arthur's son Amr, who for an unspecified reason is also killed by Arthur (maybe he was the basis for later Mordred stories?).

Also Amr's tomb changes sizes sometimes.

The story of Culhwch and Olwen, sometimes considered the oldest Arthurian story (the titular Culhwch is Arthur's cousin), contains a quick mention of Arthur's son Gwydre--he's killed by the giant boar they're hunting, sadly.

Wikipedia describes a few other children like Duran and Llachau, who also die horribly, and a couple of daughters, who pop culture generally ignore.

Being a child of Arthur just seems like bad luck.

It's interesting to me because a lot of modern Arthurian stories run on the idea that Arthur doesn't have any children. In The Green Knight film, for instance, he is implied to be willing to make Gawain his heir because he has no child of his own. But they're there, in the literature, if anyone wants to take a look further than what they're taught in high school.

Mind you, some modern fantasy does have Arthur with children. Here, There Be Dragons has Arthur's descendants as monarchs of the Silver Throne, starting with his son Artigel. The Dark is Rising series plays around with it too. And the ones from Welsh literature are actually important (antagonistic) characters in Cornwell's Warlord Chronicles.

[kharmii]

*sigh*

When you thought things have cooled off again someone has to whack the anti-beehive yet again and call out pro shippers 😑

Hope nothing is thrown in your way but I am truly amazed by how well you deal with this here! Really if I wasn’t so terrified of being targeted with harassment not only supporting you (even if my thoughts on shipping are a little bit different <not into ships but everyone should be free to ship whatever if it’s making them happy and they don’t actively hurt others>) but also agreeing with you on so many topics that you’ve shared.

I know there must be more people out there just too afraid of the harassment that they could receive but agreeing as well! Keep up the good fight and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

I knew it! I knew there had to be some sort of drama going on somewhere I didn't know about. This morning, somebody sent me this message out of the blue that said, "You're disgusting. Don't reblog my art. Being autistic doesn't make you a terrible person." They then blocked me. This individual is a Volo artist who does reasonably good sketches but not good on backgrounds. I habitually reblogged their stuff because they are a committed Volo fanatic.

Out of curiosity, I went on the Volo Nation Discord to ask this person what that message was all about. I jokingly said something like, "The sneaky little spiders of the SJW whisper network must have started some drama. The traffic on my blog ebbs and flows because of this, and now recently, I'm at a descent". Whisper networks would be useful if the women involved called out actual rapists and sexual predators, but amongst the radical left, they're usually petty (fake males) biological females who gossip about people who disagree with them politically.

What do you know, but my intuition was right! -Turns out the message wasn't about autistic people at all. A bunch of them got pissed about my transgendered stance and had a cabal in a locked Discord channel. I got bombarded by the girlies (who will assuredly grow up someday and fall into heteronormative lifestyles) who all had to tell me about how they were 'non-binary' and whatever crap. I told them I was bored and left. When I peeked in just now, I noticed they booted me, which is fine because the algorithm on Twitter is better at throwing me good Volo art.

Srsly tho, transgendered people are BORING. Nobody gives a damn about transgendered people except other transgendered people. Nobody cares about your snowflake gender, unless you are super hot like the God-Emperor of Fuckableness. Then you can say whatever goofy shit you want, like, *flips hair* "I'm Giratina-gendered, and someday I'm going to subjugate the power of Arceus and kill every last mother fucker on this entire planet!" *does cute little skip*

Emmet: *eyes pointing off in different directions* That's really interesting honey! *pats ass* You can do whatever you want, and later you can throw on that cute chiffon tunic with the shoulders cut out so I can run my autistic trains gendered man meat down your subway tunnel. Keep some ice packs handy!

Anyway, where was I. Oh yeah, transgendered people are boring af. It's no wonder people in most of the fandoms I'm in have nothing better to write about than stupid werewolf porn because they can't think of actual good stories. Worrying about genders is the equivalent of how boring people with no personalities have to dye their hair funky colors and get piercings to be interesting. My guy Dabi is like that. His douchebag dad Endeavor didn't let him go to school and build character, so now he had nothing better to talk about than how many piercings he has on his dick, or how he likes to start fires, or how he wants to murder his douchebag dad for ruining his life. At least he isn't so boring all he wants to talk about is his stupid fake gender because he doesn't look like the kind of guy who gives af about what people think of him.

[golden-barnes]

Audacity

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: Bucky has a long list of reasons to hate John Walker. But the fake Captain America deciding to flirt with you, definitely takes the cake.

Category: Smut 18+

Warning: Jealous Bucky is just soft dom! Bucky, dirty talk, penetrative sex, slight chocking, closet sex, and just John Walker being annoying

Word count: 1.9k

Author’s note: trying out this new format bc I liked the way it look when I did the Spencer Reid fic. A small spoiler warning for the newest FATWS episode but other than that it’s like an AU bc this really has nothing to do with yesterdays’ episode. Comment and reblog pls and thank you!

There’s a lot to hate about John Walker. The fact that he is trying to replace Steve as a cheap version of Captain America. His stupid face and the way he handles the shield. Even the way he speaks comes off as pretentious and arrogant.

But what really made Bucky seethe with anger is the fact that his little beady eyes would not stop looking at you. Undressing you with his eyes. Taking in every move and gesture you made. It made Bucky’s blood boil. He kept clenching and unclenching his fist. How haven’t you noticed his insisting fucking starring? 

“Can you chip your teeth? Because I’m pretty sure you might by how clenched your jaw” Sam said, patting Bucky on the back. He just rolled his eyes but decided not to say anything. 

There was nothing that can be done. They made a silent pack not to anger the imposter. The government had asked Sam, Bucky and you to help out with a smuggling ring that they have discovered and low and behold, their little Captain America got his ass handed to him. They basically begged them to help. Bucky almost screamed a Fuck no into their faces but you managed to hold him off from punching the soldier that appeared at your apartment. 

You turned around and bent over to pick up something. You were unaware that the fake Captain America licked his crusty lips while looking at you. He kept eying you like a piece of meat. Bucky rolled his eyes again and turned to Sam who was quietly reading the reports.

“Can I punch him?” Bucky whispered to Sam.

“Do you want your pardon to be revoked?” Sam said to him, not even looking up from the reports.

“There’s nobody here. Y/N won’t say anything. You definitely won’t mind.” Bucky whispered, glaring at the blond man that kept staring at you. You clearly didn’t give a shit about him. Therefore, why was he still looking at you?

Sam rolled his eyes at his ex-assassin friend. “Yeah, and later we can steal the shield.” Sam looked up from the reports and pushed them to the side. 

“Exactly! Yeah, now that’s a plan.” Bucky said excitedly, standing up from his chair trying to make his way to John before being stopped by Sam, who grabbed his friend by the arm and pulled him back into his chair. Before Bucky could protest, he heard you whistle at them. 

“Hey, guys! I think I have something.” You said. The three men surrounded you, while you were explaining how you found out the new base location for the smuggling ring.

Bucky tried his best to focus on what you were saying and your explanation, but he couldn’t help but notice that the Kmart version of Captain America was inching closer and closer to you. Didn’t this man have a wife? Bucky swore he read that somewhere. Why does he keep staring and getting closer to you?

“Oh! Sorry, ma’am.” The jackass said, when he “accidentally” bumped into you, he grabbed your waist and forearm to stabilize you. 

“It’s okay.“ You told him, and let out a soft chuckle. Bucky felt his pen explode in his hand. The three of you turned to the pouty super soldier who just rolled his eyes and went back to looking at the schematics. 

You knew something was up with Bucky. He didn’t say anything. Not after the pen exploding incident. Not even when you were joking around with Sam. He loved making witty comebacks to your jokes. It was your thing. 

But maybe it was John Walker’s presence that made it uncomfortable for him. You knew Bucky hated the guy, mostly cause he took Steve’s spot without earning it. But there was something more to this. Bucky has always had a staring problem, but the number of sharp glares he has been sending to Walker has been enough to alert anyone. You couldn’t comfort him, not without making it super apparent that you are dating. And Bucky had already expressed that he doesn’t want to publicize it unless it’s only Sam that’s around. 

“Agent Y/L/N, I think I found something,” Torres said, signaling to you to go follow him upstairs. You took one last look at Bucky, who was still glaring at the oblivious John Walker.

“Damn, I don’t know how you guys get any work done with that around you all the time,” John said, staring at you walking up the stairs. More specifically, staring at your ass. 

Bucky looked at Sam, almost begging him to let him punch the douchebag that is this man. But Sam gripped his forearm. Bucky will not lose his pardon like this. 

“How about we focus on the damn mission?” Bucky almost growled. John Walker put his hands up.

“I’m sorry man. It’s just- look at her.” John sat back and leaned into his chair. From the distance, he could see you talking to Torres. 

“C’mon man. You asked us for our help but we aren’t here to do all the work.” Sam said trying to be the peacemaker between the super-soldier with a murderous gaze and the soldier with the wondering eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah sorry.” John said trying to go back to the records. You were descending from the stairs and walking over to them. John brought his attention back to you. The way your hips would sway when you walked. The confidence in every step. Everything Bucky loved, and apparently fucking John did too.

“Guys, I think we need to rest for today. I am a little bit burned out. I think we all are.” You said, with your hands on your hips. Bucky felt his heart clench, you did look tired. Especially because you were almost doing all the work and piecing all of the clues. 

“That’s an incredible idea.” Sam said stretching in his chair. He also looked tired. It made Bucky feel bad that he has been focusing all his energy on glaring and not helping out. He almost felt guilty.

Almost because a surge of rage flows through him again. John “Can’t take a hint” Walker smirked at you while you were grabbing the files that were on the table. 

Bucky didn’t even give you a chance to say goodbye. To Sam or the annoying motherfucker that made Bucky want to break rule number 2.

“Woah, Buck. what are you doing?” You said while the brunet dragged you around the base. His grip on your forearm was hard but not enough for it to hurt. Bucky wouldn’t hurt you, not in any way you wouldn’t like it. 

There was something about how Bucky was walking, the silence, the way he was searching for something but never letting go of you.

Bucky opened up a closet door. 

“Get in, doll.”  He whispered in your ear, in a low deep voice. You let out a gasp, feeling goosebumps all over your body. You looked at Bucky in the eyes, and you knew he wasn’t in the mood for a fight. You entered the closet space without protesting.

It was a small storage closet. It barely had anything in it so you felt cramped. You turned to Bucky, while he closed the door. The man stalked towards you and you walked backward till your back hit the wall. Bucky had you cornered, and you didn’t mind it.

“Did you have fun, doll?” Bucky said, getting close to your face. His hands went to your hips, pulling you towards him. 

“Buck, what are you talking about?” You whispered to him. Bucky rolled his eyes and took one of his hands off your hips. Placing it on your neck, lightly applying some pressure to it. You gasped at his touch, he chuckled a bit at your reaction. 

“C’mon darling. Did you have fun playing around with the imposter Captain America? I mean he had fun looking at you. So I’m assuming that you had fun being looked at.” He said, with his hand still on your neck and his face inches away from your face. You looked at your boyfriend with wide eyes.

“Oh, you didn’t notice that. Well, I did. Maybe I should teach you who do you belong to. Would you like that sweetheart?” He said, his breath tickling your lip. You nodded, breathless. Bucky smiled at you.

The hand that was around your neck, went to your chin. Grabbing it and pulling you closer so that your lips would meet. His hands started to wander across your body, while yours looped around his neck. 

Your kisses started to grow hungrier, more desperate. As if Bucky spotted kissing you, you would fade away. His hands reached the zipper of your pants and pulled it down. Not even breaking from your kiss, Bucky managed to push your pants down. You break from your kiss to get out of them, while Bucky took off his pants and underwear.

He didn’t wait. He pushed you softly back on the wall and started to leave kisses and soft bites all over your neck. 

“Jump, baby girl,” He said softly against your skin, patting your butt.

 And you did just so. Wrapping your legs around his waist, with one of his hands on your ass and another moving your panties to the side. 

“Hold that there, baby. Let me make you feel so good.” Holding his neck with one hand, you moved another hand to hold your panties to the side, to make it easy for him.

“Good girl.”And with one thrust, he was inside you, hitting all the spot. You moaned and gripped the back of his neck tightly.

“Like that doll? Can anyone else do this to you uhn? C’mon doll give me everything you got.” With every word that came out of his mouth, he would thrust hard and deep into you. You felt lightheaded. Your legs tightening around his waist but his thrust wouldn’t stop.

“Fuck, Buck. Don’t stop.” You gasped. Bucky kept kissing your neck. Overloading your senses. You were close, you knew it. Bucky knew it. You could feel him grin against your skin.

“Who makes you feel this good, doll?” He asked. You gasped at his sudden change in pace. He started to thrust more desperately, less controlled. He was close too.

“You. Fuck, only you.Shit, Bucky. I’m going to cum.”  Bucky smirked at you.

“Then cum, doll.” Bucky silenced your cries with his lips. Still thrusting into you, letting you ride your high and getting to his. And that wouldn’t be long.

With one final thrust, Bucky came. He gave you a soft kiss on the lips and let you down.

“I love you, James Buchanan Barnes.” You said, putting on your pants.

“I love you too, Y/N.” He smiled at you. You slapped his chest lightly, which made him laugh.

“I hope you realize that I would never go with discount Captain America over there.” You joked which made Bucky laugh even harder. You both were dressed and tried to look as decent as you could to leave the closet and the base.

“Let’s hope that fucking in an army base won’t be the reason you lose your pardon.” You said, grabbing Bucky’s hand, to give him reassurance. He gave you a smirk.

“Maybe if we let them watch, they won’t take it away,” Bucky replied to you, giving you a wink. 

“Yeah and get John Walker to join would also help your case.” Bucky stopped in his tracks and looked at you.

“Oh, you are gonna get it when we get home.” Now it was your turn to wink at your boyfriend.

“I’m hoping I do.” Bucky shook his head but pulled you closer to him. Wrapping his arm around your shoulders, walking towards the exit of the base. Confident that John Walker couldn’t take you away from him.

[hello-nichya-here]

How NOT to write romance - How I Met Your Mother edition

Warning: long-ass post and lots of bitterness over a TV show that ended nearly eight years ago.

Basics for story-telling

If the romance you want to write is dysfunctional, fucking embrace it and have fun with the concept instead of pretending the bad shit the characters do is okay because “it’s true love”

Acknowledgde that your main character has flaws instead of acting like he is a saint who can do no wrong for no reason other than “he is the main character. Definitively don’t make him do, of his own free will, the exact exact same things the supposedly “selfish and cruel” womanizer does and then excuse it as him having “succumbed to/been tricked by a bad influece” like he’s child who doesn’t know any better instead of being a grown ass adult.

Don’t make your characters be annoying, entitled fuckers who think they have the right to judge others for wanting different things out of a relationship/not wanting a relationship at all. Don’t act like monogamy, double dates with other couples, marriage and children are something EVERYONE secretly wants deep down.

Don’t demonize the “evil” character of the group and act like the “heroes” being appalled by the shit he does is anything other than hypocricy. There’s literally nothing forcing them to be friends with him, so they’re obviously not as horrified at bad shit he does as they say they are, otherwise they would have ditched him a long time ago.

Don’t have the “heartless womanizer”,  who we later find out is the ex-husband of the girl the lead wanted for himself, be shown to us exclusively through the eyes of the an unreliable narrator who had motivation to make him see worse than he is likely to be (get his kids to want him to get the girl instead of the “douchebag”). Also, don’t make his schemes to trick women into sleeping with them so completely absurd and ridiculous that the audience is pretty sure that 70% of the women he banged were completely aware he just wanted a quick fuck and went along with it anyway because they wanted some dick (and because the character is played by Neil Patric Harris, who is incapable of not being charismatic)

Fucking let you characters (especially the supposed hero we’re supposed to think is the best boyfriend ever) grow instead of making them constantly repeat the same mistakes

Lily and Marshall

Don’t make one of the characters hide something very important from their partner, and then have the audacity to be mad at them for “just not understanding” as if they were given any reason to understand what the problem even is

Don’t act like someone being heartbroken that their partner lied to them and practically made a plan to “escape” being married to them means they’re not being “supportive” of said partners dream - you should especially not do that after we were shown that they took a job they didn’t like just to make sure they’d have a secure future that would allow said partner to follow their dream.

Don’t have the character who was obviously in the wrong need to be convinced to get their shit together and apologize to their ex.

If a character forgave the ex who wronged them and even got back together with them, don’t have them constantly hold their past mistakes over their head like it that problem has not already been solved - you especially not make them do that on what was supposed to be their wedding day. They can either forgive their partner or not, they can’t keep going back and forth.

Don’t have them constantly hide important shit from each other (having a huge financial debt, getting a job, etc)

DO NOT have the character who fucked up years prior suddenly be willing to do the same shit again for the EXACT same reason (”I think our relationship is in the way of my dreams and I’m now completely isolated because I refuse to talk things out with you”) and then expect the audience to sympathize with them.

Ted and Robin 

Unless you’re writing a Disney/Disney-esque romance, don’t have your lead just look at someone across the room, decide they’re “The one”, imagine their life together and full on say “I’m love with you” AND “I love you” on the first goddamn date.

Don’t have the lead stalk his love interest, and throw three parties in a row just to have an excuse to get close to her now that she made it clear she is not interested in having a relationship with him.

Don’t have the “hero” lie about having broken up with his girlfriend so the girl he wants to be with will sleep with him, and then have him blame his actions on time. “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” Grow a pair of balls, Ted!

If one of the characters says “You’re going too fast on the whole ‘love’ thing. Can’t we just go on a few dates and see what happens instead of already starting to plan our lives together?” and the others throws a fit, that is called “being incompatible” and “damn, this dude doesn’t respect boundaries”, not “Wow, she’s so afraid of commitment”

If you want the audience to believe the main character’s feelings are not one-sided, don’t make the fact that said feelings ARE unrequited a running joke, and don’t have the girl only accept giving him a chance after having to deal with the fucker whining “But I love you” for months and/or after going through bad break ups. Also, if you have to retcon half the fucking show to “proove” that “she DOES love him”, that pairing fucking sucks.

Don’t compare the couple you want the audience to root for to the main character’s divorced, dysfunctional parents, and don’t have flashbacks showing that the lead had no clue what his girlfriend actually liked in bed AND that she literally covered up his face so she could pretend she was fucking someone else.

DON’T MAKE HER GET RID OF HER DOGS, YOU FUCKING MONSTER!

If your lead character is still jealous/possessive of his ex, thinks he still has a chance even after she told him to his face that she didn’t love him, and acts like she and her fiance (who he says is his friend) being happy is somehow them being selfish and cruel, your lead character is a loser AND an asshole.

Don’t throw away the entire premise of the show (Ted finding the REAL love of his life) just to force a bad pairing down the audience’s throat

Ted Mosby in general

Don’t have your “romantic, sensitive hero” break up with a girl on her birthday through an answering machine, come back into her life without warning years later because he’s afraid he’ll die alone, and find out that she never heard the message but was actually told about it by her friends and family who were at her apartment preparing a surprise party for her. You should especially not make his first reaction to this new be being mad that he was not invited to the party, and for the love of God, don’t make him break up with her on her birthday AGAIN.

Don’t have the “hero” cheat on his girlfriend and excuse it with bullshit like “Nothing good happens 2 a.m.” and “But I genuinely love Robin so it’s okay that I’m lying to both of them”. Do not, I repeat, do NOT have him blame it on his girlfriend being distant when she didn’t pick up the phone one night and then called back the second she was free to do so, while he was enjoying the gifts she sent him and LIED to her about having sent her some as well.

Don’t fucking make an entire episode with the premise of him turning a no into a yes - and telling that story to his children like it’s romantic.

Don’t have his fiance, who he knows has a rocky relationship with the father of her daughter, tell him she is uncomfortable with him inviting his ex to their wedding and then have him decide “This means I should invite her ex as well”. Also don’t expect me to feel bad for him when she runs off with said ex.

Don’t have him spend YEARS waiting for one of the hundreds of girls he thinks is “the one” to be single and even ask her neighbour to spy on her and let him know when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend - again, for YEARS.

Don’t have the lead say he’s gonna tell their kids about his love story with their DECEASED mother, only for it to secretly be an excuse for him to go “By the way, I’m still in love with aunt Robin despite her having rejected me for 25 years, can I go screw her?”

Don’t act like making the characters reverse back into who they were at the beginning at the story means they’re gonna make things work this time when the whole point of their break up in the beginning on the story was the fact that they’re just not right for each other.

Robin and Kevin

A therapist who was supposed to help their patient move on after a bad break up that messed them up, dating said patient is a major red flag. It is also a bad sign that, when she cheats on him and wants to break up, he realized what she was doing to used his job as “evidence” that he knew better and that she should NOT tell her partner how she felt/what she actually wanted.

Do NOT have said therapist date yet ANOTHER patient that asked him help to move on from a bad break up. Seriously, Kevin was a creep, stop acting like he was some angel who “deserved better than Robin.”

BONUS: How NOT to break up a couple - Barney and Robin edition

Don’t act like their relationship falling appart after their friends kept meddling, and even kept them locked in a room against their will until they labeled their relationship as something they aproved of, is somehow “proof” that they’re not good for each other.

Don’t retcon their relationship to force a break up (seriously, Barney was super supportive of Robin long before he even fell in love with her, but I’m supposed to believe he’d be a bad boyfriend who is never there for her? And he loved advantures and always said “challenge accepted”, but was suddenly miserable travelling the world with her and couldn’t deal with not having wi-fi at the hotel? Fuck off)

Don’t spend an entire season focusing on their wedding, have them get married and then divorce THE NEXT FUCKING EPISODE! Why do you hate your audience? Even people who don’t want them together can see this a terrible idea.

And most important of all, when people question what the fuck were you thinking, don’t have a meltdown on twitter and say that people who think Barney can change are responsible for Donald Trump being elected, you fucking weirdo, go see a therapist (that isn’t like Kevin)

[secretlittlerandezvous]

Douchebag - Carter Hart

Summary: The reader is the new sideline reporter. On her first day at work she meets Carter. He insults her for no reason and later makes up for it when he helps her at the right time.

Words: 2140

“You must be Y/n L/n! I’m Claude Giroux the team’s captain,” the significantly taller man ran to me as I was wandering through the hallway trying to decide whether it was a good idea to knock on the locker room’s door and introduce myself to the team or if it was way too daring. “It’s nice to meet you.” He added.

“That’s me!” I said with a nervous smile but relaxed once he smiled back at me. “Nice to meet you too. I was just about to go and introduce myself to the team.”

“Then we have the same way,” he said with a smile and started walking towards the locker room. I happily followed him with more courage than I would have if I had to do it alone. After all, it was better to come together with their captain than to knock on their door and disturb them. “Boys listen up please,” Claude said loudly once we entered the room. All eyes immediately focused on my and everyone waited for either for me or Claude to explain what was going on. Claude looked at me and with an encouraging smile, he gave me the signal to talk.

“Hey guys,” I said with a wide smile to mask my nervousness. I felt like a student who had to introduce herself on the first day of school which was usually my biggest fear. All the players I’ve adored for years were now looking at me as I stood in their locker room as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I’m Y/n L/n, the new sideline reporter. I just wanted to introduce myself since we're going to see each other quite often.” The boys greeted me and welcomed me with more excitement than I expected but I felt grateful I was going to work with so many amazing people.

A couple of minutes later it was time for me to get ready for my first live broadcast. Stress was replaced by excitement and excitement was replaced by fear and doubt. The emotions left and came back quickly, and I was getting lost in myself. I was supposed to feel only joy and happiness. It was the day my dream finally came true, it was the day I would do my first live reportage and the day I could finally and officially call myself a sideline reporter which was something I prayed ever since I was little. The crew was nice and friendly and all the players and hockey staff I met so far, we're just as friendly. I knew everything was going to work out well.

“That’s it for now but make sure to watch another live update from the Wells Fargo Center today at 4 pm!” I said with a smile and the moment I got the signal that told me the camera was off I finally took a deep breath and relaxed.

“You did great Y/n! Congrats on a perfect first day at work.” The cameraman smiled at me and the rest of the crew was quick to follow with the gratulations.

Soon I was left alone at the ice rink with three players who stayed a little longer while everyone else left immediately after their morning skate ended. “Oh, hello! You must be Y/n the new sideline reporter,” to my surprise I saw the three players coming slowly but surely closer to me. “I’m Nols and this is Travis and Carter.” Nolan introduced himself and his companions. He and Travis shook my hand and hugged me as a friendly gesture while Carter only mumbled something under his breath and didn’t bother to even look up at me. “We heard you already met the boys, so we thought it was only fair to introduce ourselves since we were late.”

The conversation went smoothly, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was talking to old friends I haven’t seen for a while. They asked me about my life and about my first day at work while I asked them about their feelings from the upcoming game. Carter didn’t talk unless he had to and when he did, he usually didn’t say more than three words. He was the only person who made me feel I was not welcomed with his snarky comments, but I always shook it off thanks to Nols and TK who were both funny and nice.

“I think we should get going. We have a meeting in a bit,” Travis said as he looked at the time on his phone. “It feels really good to have you here Y/n! Am I right boys?” He turned to the boys and while Nolan nodded with a smile Carter didn’t look impressed at all. “What do you think, Hart?”

“Oh please! Just another naive chick who thinks she’s gonna charm one of us enough to date her,” he said rolling his eyes. “You’re gonna stand in my way all day or what? That’s definitely not going to impress me.”

“Well, I can assure you all that this definitely isn’t the reason why I am here,” I paused to take a deep breath and continued. “Just as I’m in no way interested in standing in the way of some douchebag,” I said to Carter with a sweet smile and then stepped aside so he could walk away. He didn’t say anything and left.

“We’re sorry about him,” Travis said. “He’s in a bad mood all day. But don’t let that scare you.”

“You should grab a drink with us on Friday! Others are coming too, and it’d be a great way to meet everyone. Noir bar on Passyunk Ave at 10!”

“I’ll be there,” I answered and watched them leave.

I left the arena and sat down on the bench just a few feet away from the entrance to take a break and process everything that happened throughout the day. I tried my best not to think of Carter and his unfriendly behavior however my thoughts always went right back to him. Carter seemed to be nice to everyone, to his teammates, to the staff and fans however when it came to me he was cold and I didn’t understand why. This was our first encounter; the first time we talked or saw each other so logically he had no reason to dislike me. The remarks had, the sarcastic laugh I heard whenever I said something, the way he rolled his eyes at me or the tone in his voice when he talked to me; it was enough to make me nervous about all future encounters with him.

“And there you are again standing in my way,” the cold tone of his voice disturbed me from my thoughts and made me jump a little because he scared me. Why it couldn’t be anyone else? Anyone but him. “Are you gonna state at me like that it will you move away?”

“What’s your problem? There are other benches where you can sit,” I said pointing out at all the benches that weren’t taken.

“It’s my spot,” he answered with a smile. “And if I’m not wrong then I work here longer than you so it’s only fair you leave when I tell you to.”

“You talk like this to everyone? Or just to girls?” I asked genuinely wanting to know if this was the usual way, he talked to people or if only girls received this from. I couldn’t imagine him acting like this towards his teammates and other men but then again nothing’s impossible.

“Just the ones who hang out around here acting like they own this place.”

“Says the guy arguing about a stupid bench,” I chuckled. “Have a nice day Hart.” I waved at him and left. Arguing with him seemed useless anyway.

...

The Noir bar was a small and low key place and way too crowded for my taste however I couldn’t expect it to be empty on a Friday night. Everyone seemed to be drinking beer and so I ordered one for myself and joined the boys. Carter was there as well but he didn’t say a single word to me, and I could only hope he decided not to acknowledge my presence at all. I had no desire to talk to him as everyone was more than friendly to me. Everyone including the girlfriends accepted me to their group and in just a few minutes I felt like I was with a group of friends I knew for many years.

“Gonna get some more beer,” I announced as I stood up and slowly made my way through the crowd to the bar.

I sat down on the bar chair as I waited occasionally talking to the barman.

“Here alone pretty face?” A male voice said from behind him and I felt him sit down right next to me. “I could keep you good company honey. And not just here in the bar.” He continued as he slowly placed his hand on my thigh. I looked up at him; he had a sleazy look on his face, his gray and balding head made me think he was much older than I was, he smelled like alcohol and cigarettes and his clothes were dirty.

“Not interested,” I mumbled and removed his hand from my leg. He chuckled and tried to place his hand back, but I stopped him once again. “And I mean it,” I added with much more seriousness.

“Don’t act like that sweetie,” he smiled at me and got closer to me. “You look like you love it rough.” He whispered.

“You didn’t hear me or what?” I said loudly. A few heads turned around, but no one cares enough to come and help me get the man away from me.

“You sweet little innocent girls always say that, but do you ever really mean it?” He laughed. “You’ll like it I promise.” He places his hand in mind this time and then quickly grabbed it which got me back on my feet. He held my hand tightly and started pulling me closer to his sweating body.

“I think she’s not interested,” another man said from behind. I couldn’t see him, but his voice was very familiar, much younger and softer than the man’s voice who was still holding my hand. “In fact, the whole bar heard she’s not interested.” He added after a while. He pushed the man away from which finally met him let go of my hand. He almost fell on the floor which seemed to get him angry. I then looked behind me to see my rescuer and to my surprise I found Carter standing there. He looked angry and his hands were in fists as if he was expecting a fight.

“Ohh, what you’re gonna do huh? You’re still a little kid and girls like her are for the proper man.” He laughed as he looked at Carter. The man was older however Carter was much taller, and I didn’t doubt he was also much stronger. “Come here, angel.” He told me and grabbed my hips. He almost kissed me, but Carter pushed me aside and hid me behind himself and then he punched the man into his face. The man fell down this time and when he got back to his feet his nose was bleeding. He seemed to think whether he should do the same to Carter but in the end, he left. I heard him mumble something under his breath, but I didn’t care at all.

“Are you okay?” Carter looked at me and checked for any signs of injury. I nodded and sat on the bar chair once again taking a sip of the cold beer that was waiting for me.

“I’m okay,” I said. “Thanks to you.” I smiled at him and for the first time, he smiled at me back. His face looked more friendly now.

“I came to apologize when I heard you and saw him touch you,” he said nervously. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior a few days back. I know there’s no excuse for it but I was in a really bad mood that day and well I took it out on you.”

“That’s alright I guess,” I said. “We all have bad days.” Normally I wouldn’t accept his apology this quickly and I would wait to see if he was serious or not but considering he was the only one to help me and saved me from that man I didn’t need any other proof or reason to forgive him.”

“I also wanted to ask if you’d go on a date with me? I’d like to prove I’m really not such a jerk.” He laughed.

 Does that mean I charmed you enough to date me?” I joked. “I’d love to go on a date with my savior.”

[starrynite7114]

Trust

A/N: I was able to fulfill a request during my study break! This was fun to write and pretty short, but I hope you all enjoy it! I’m working on Snapshots and Misconstrued, Snapshots may be out first, but regardless, I’m working on a few things! 

Requests are still open, if you want to make a request, feel free to do so!

“So you don’t trust me” and “fuck you” with EZ or Angel 🥺. I love your writing ❤️ also you don’t have to do both prompts if they don’t mix! - Anon

Masterlist

Tagged: @iambabyharry : @justahopelessssromantic : @briannab1234 : @marvelmaree : @carlaangel86 : @everyhowlmarksthedead​  : @trulysuccubus​ : @claytoncardenasbabymama​ : @ifoundmyhappythought​ : @chibsytelford​ : @whyisgmora​ : @jadert15​ : @gemini0410​ : @woahitslucyylu​ : @enamoured-x​ : @encounterthepast

Relationships were complex. Whether it was family, friends or a significant other, there were many layers to it.

With significant others, jealousy was a part of relationships. A layer that could be seen as a way to show your significant other that you care or it could drive a wedge in your relationship. 

Angel was hardly a jealous man, okay, that was a lie. He didn’t even like it when another man he wasn’t familiar with breathed the same air as you, but he trusted you with all of his heart. He just didn’t trust these fuckers around you. But it wasn’t his fault. You were charming, beautiful, people were just drawn to you.

Lucky for Angel, Santo Padre was a small town and people never tried to cross that boundary with Angel. They were respectful, but they would never make a move on you or even flirt with you. Angel was well known to threaten anyone who even looked your way. You were the only person that brought this out of him. His past girlfriends, he didn’t even bat an eye when they would flirt with other guys. For him, those girls were just women he went through and now he had you and it was a whole different feeling. But this showed him how much he loves you, how true his feelings were for you.

It may also have to do with the fact that he felt you were out of his league. He was human, insecurities come, but you were the one thing he knew that he scored out of pure luck. 

Here he was now, watching as your ex-boyfriend, some prim and proper douchebag you met in college. He was currently in Santo Padre on business with Galindo. He was going to help build this new development in Santo Padre. To say he was annoyed was an understatement. This ex-boyfriend of yours, Dante or whatever the fuck his name was, decided to visit you at your grandmother’s bakery, that you’ve been helping with since you came back. 

Angel was going to pick you up to bring you back to the clubhouse since they wanted to do a BBQ and of course, you were such a big part of the club at this point, it would be weird if you weren’t there.

But with Angel seeing this before him, he was irritated, no, he was pissed. 

He knew David, a prick that pursued you relentlessly. 

He also knew how nice you were. You didn’t mean to be inviting, but people gravitate towards you. 

Angel could tell you weren’t exactly comfortable, but he hated how friendly you could be. This guy did not need to be here. 

You looked outside and saw Angel, sitting on his motorcycle, smoking. Your man looked so good, but you could tell he wasn’t exactly happy that Dylan was in your grandmother’s bakery after hours. He came in a little late and he had very full intention of staying and speaking to you. He was always a nice guy, but you could tell he could be a bit pushy if he truly wanted something. 

Currently, he was trying to entice you to attend this BBQ his mother was throwing for Memorial Day weekend at Texas. He didn’t want to be bombarded with relationship questions and wanted to take you along to keep his mother at bay. His mother had adored you, which apparently was a feat, but you knew this wouldn’t go over well with Angel. Personally, you didn’t want to go either.

Your phone vibrated, breaking Dylan from one of his babbling. You gave him a smile and picked up your phone, it was from Angel.

                                                Hubby <3

Get rid of Doug before I do.

Looking up, you found Angel still sitting, that smirk on his face. 

Dylan, his name is Dylan. Calm down papi. He’s just asking me to go to his mother’s BBQ next month. He’s harmless, he’s with someone else now.

Placing your phone down, you focused on Dylan once more.

“I know you don’t like your mother’s matchmaking ways, but why not just bring Kristin?” You advised. 

“Cause my mother hates Kristin, she’s my high school sweetheart, fucking hated her.” Dylan shook his head. “Kristin is a great girl, but she always compares them to you.”

“Well, I am quite memorable.” You laughed, shrugging. 

“Humble you are.” Dylan shook his head. “I always wondered why we didn’t work out.”

“We weren’t happy at the end of our relationship Dylan, I was here and you were in Temecula. Believe me, things worked out for the best.”

“You can’t possibly want to stay here for the rest of your life. It’s dead space here.” Dylan never understood why you decided to stay in Santo Padre. For your biker boyfriend? He met Angel, and he didn’t understand how you could tolerate being here. 

“I don’t expect you to understand. I feel at home here.” 

And it was true, you did feel at home here, well mostly, you felt at home cause you were with Angel. 

You two met in middle school, but you ended up moving away to Las Vegas with your parents. You tried to keep in touch through MySpace then texting every once in a while. After graduating college, you came back to Santo Padre to help your grandmother out after a nasty fall. It was nine years ago that you came back and you had texted Angel after you settled down. You had a crush on Angel when you were younger, but it faded when you two parted. Almost instantly when you two saw one another again, the attraction was immediate. But you didn’t want to start a relationship with Angel, knowing you most likely would leave Santo Padre.

But the city always somehow pulled people. 

It was insane. 

You never wanted to stay in a small town, but you found comfort on just knowing everyone and if you were being honest, you couldn’t leave Angel. He was always a part of your life, but being in his presence, seeing how he grew up and the charm he had, you couldn’t walk away. You tried, but he always pulled you back to him and you two weren’t even together. When he finally asked you out on a date, it was cute, and you two were just at the beach, watching the waves, sitting in peaceful silence. He broke it by asking that and you still remembered how you blushed and how you immediately said yes. He chuckled and the rest was history. 

Now, things were different. 

It was peaceful here to some degree. You liked the pace of life and your family was here.

“I think you’re settling.”

“I think it’s time for you to leave.”

You and Dylan both looked towards the door and Angel had just walked through. Dylan gulped. He didn’t scare easily, but Angel could be imposing. 

“You’ve overstayed your welcome Donnie.” Angel tilted his head towards the door. 

“Nice seeing you Y/N.” He made his way towards the door, bowing his head when he passed by Angel. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew Angel could kill him if he wanted to. He didn’t want to push his buttons. 

Angel locked the door after him, turning to you and shaking his head. 

“You really need to entertain that mother fucker?” Angel questioned. “He fucking asks you to go to Texas with him and you just what? Entertain the idea.”

“Fuck you, Angel.” You spat out. 

“Oh, there’s time for that later querida,” he smirked, but it wasn’t his playful smirk, it was his smug smirk that he always had on when he was irritated and ready to press your fucking buttons. “Settling huh?”

“Angel, you know that’s not how I feel.” You frowned. “Why are you going to let Dylan get to you?”

“Because, he shouldn’t even be fucking here. Why does he come here every fucking week? Do you like going down memory lane with him? Do you like knowing that if you get tired of me you have that chump waiting for you?” Angel knew he was being irrational, but Dylan was visiting far too frequently. It was like you were enticing him to come and see you. “Do you talk to him regularly?”

“Unfuckingbelievable. So you don’t trust me?” You scoffed. “I’m not the one always surrounded by women, willingly throwing themselves at them. Also, how the fuck do I know that you don’t fuck other women while you’re on a run?”

Angel scoffed, looking at you in disbelief. “You fucking serious? You think I fuck other women?”

“No, no I don’t.” And you didn’t. You love Angel and knew he was loyal to you. He was never a cheater, never seemed that way. If he was in a relationship, he was all in and was solely focused on you. “Angel, why are you being unreasonable, if I trust you, why wouldn’t you trust me? Why would I cheat on you?”

Angel sighed. He fucked up. He didn’t actually think you would cheat. But seeing Dylan was a reminder that if you wanted, you could leave him and be with someone else. That once upon a time, you had a life without him and Dylan was that reminder. He fucking hated it. If he didn’t acknowledge his name, he wasn’t important, but he was. Looking at you and just how visibly upset you were, Angel grimaced. He made his way over to you and wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m sorry baby.” He apologized, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “I love you, I just, insecurities are a bitch.”

“I know, but Dylan is hardly someone you should be insecure about. There was a reason why we broke up. We never meshed well. Maybe in college we did, but priorities changed. He never understood why I had to come here and be with my grandmother.” You pulled away from Angel. “I never loved Dylan, especially not the way I love you. Please keep that in mind. You’re my world Angel, I couldn’t leave you, unless you do cheat on me then I’ll cut your dick off too.”

Angel laughed then, kissing you on your lips. “You’re fucking crazy.”

“You like crazy though.”

“As long as it’s you, I fucking do.”

[kissjane]

OH NO THEY WERE ROOMMATES / Very much unshort fic

#14 from this prompt list (I had to scroll waaaay down to get this link...)

Listen, for some reason these last few prompts from the list don’t wanna play nice. I have no idea whether this is any good, but at least it’s finished. I’ll settle for it at this point. Five to go!

We’re roommates but we’re falling for each other

It had started as a quick white lie, to get the boys off his back. They kept pushing him to go talk to any boy who looked at him a bit too long, or to give his number to basically any barista or waiter ever, or to go on a blind date with Basile’s cousin.

So Lucas had told them he had a thing going with his roommate.

Which was definitely not true.

But not because Lucas didn’t want to.

He’d had a crush on the handsome boy since he met him when he first came to look at the apartment with Manon. It wasn’t the biggest one he’d seen, nor the cheapest, but it had, well, other advantages, so to speak, so Lucas had been quick to co-sign the lease. If Manon suspected his reasons, she hadn’t said anything – but she had smiled when Lucas had come up with his fib.

Sadly, his fantasies of cooking together with his roommate, watching movies cuddled up on the couch, and slowly falling in love, had turned out to be a pipe dream. Eliott was mostly in his room. On occasions, he liked to blast dubstep. Lucas had soon figured out that the dubstep meant that Eliott was, uh, entertaining. The number of girls Lucas had walked in on early in the morning, before his first coffee, was staggering, and had quickly led to him putting up all his vague romantic ideas of his roommate.

But by the time Lucas was forced to come to the sad conclusion that the cutest boys were always straight, he’d already kinda committed to the story he’d told his friends, and so now he was stuck with it.

So every time he fantasized about another domestic moment of fluff with Eliott, he told himself it was for a good purpose. The girls were always bugging him for details about what he and his roommate were up to. They had declared them to be made for each other, and the discussions about their ship name were still in full vigor with no hint of them losing interest any time soon.

So Lucas provided.

He and Eliott had cooked pizza from scratch together, getting covered in flour, and accidentally setting off the smoke alarm because they were too busy making out to pay attention to the oven. Lucas ignored Emma’s eager question as to whether they had showered together to get rid of the flour dust.

Another time, he and Eliott had gone grocery shopping together, and Eliott had spun the cart on which Lucas had been standing so fast Lucas had fallen off, luckily into a pile of cardboard boxes. He’d still made Eliott kiss it better on each and every faint bruise as soon as they’d gotten home.

Or the time when they had held a Star Wars marathon, arguing about who was sexier, the young Han Solo or Dameron Poe, when Eliott had turned off the tv and complained Lucas was forcing him to compare a bunch of actors, when Eliott clearly had the sexiest boy of all in his arms.

The girls cooed at every concoction he fed them. In all honesty, it became hard for Lucas to remember none of this had actually happened – until the next scantily clad girl tiptoed through the hall on the way to the bathroom, bleary faced from the lack of sleep.

So after a few months of happy bliss, Lucas felt he had no choice but to break things off with Eliott. It became pretty painful to come up with lovey-dovey tales, and his fantasies were more and more often getting into… less family-friendly territory, which he wasn’t about to share with everybody.

His friends were a bit astonished at the news, and Lucas supposed it was weird, since he never even hinted at any trouble in paradise, but he shrugged it off, saying it was amicable, a joint decision, and he wasn’t even going to move out.

The downside was obviously that, after a few wonderful weeks of peace and quiet when everybody was coming around to the end of Lucas’ first relationship, Basile’s cousin came back into the picture.

Lucas tried to hold off, but he had no excuses left. And anyway, Eliott was playing dubstep almost every night, although Lucas hadn’t really encountered any pretty girls lately, and it grated Lucas’ nerves. It was time to admit he would never have Eliott, all his beautiful daydreams notwithstanding, so he might as well give somebody else a chance.

So he went out with Marc a few times. He was kind, and he had grey eyes, which Lucas recently discovered he had a thing for, so that was a plus. He was also a bit boring, and he tutted at Lucas disapprovingly when the latter tried to ride the bus without validating his ticket, but other than that, he was pretty okay.

And that’s how he found himself on the couch in his flat one evening. Marc and he had watched a movie – Lucas had nixed Marc’s suggestion of Star Wars vehemently – to the soft background music of dubstep coming out of Eliott’s room. It had been weird at first, but it had grounded Lucas somehow – Eliott was never going to be interested, and it was best if he remembered that and didn’t forget that Marc was here, and rather into him if the heated make-out session they were currently engaged in was to be believed.

Neither he nor Marc noticed the sudden appearance of Eliott in the living room, until the later coughed apologetically.

“Uh, sorry… I didn’t realize you had, uh, company, Lucas,” he stammered.

Lucas immediately let go of Marc, and blushed, then mentally berated himself. Eliott himself probably had a girl in his bed, so why would Lucas not be allowed to bring anybody over?

“Uh, y-yeah, no big deal,” he said, as soon as his vocal cords functioned again. “Uh, Marc, this is Eliott, my roommate. Eliott, this is Marc, my – uh…”

“Lucas’ boyfriend,” Marc cut in, a bit smugly. They’d never discussed their status, but Lucas supposed Marc had just made it clear where he was standing. He didn’t know how he felt about it.

Eliott stared at the two of them, his eyes wide. Lucas didn’t know what was going on.

“Uh, is this – is this a problem? We could go to my room, if you want…”

He hoped the problem wasn’t that he had brought home a boy. He realized he’d never talked with Eliott about his sexuality.

Eliott seemed to be slapped out of whatever daze he’d been in.

“Oh! Oh, no,” he quickly replied. “Please, it’s no problem at all. I’ll just… grab a drink and leave you guys, then… Bye, uh, Martin?”

“Marc,” Marc answered pleasantly, pulling Lucas close.

Lucas watched Eliott retreat into the kitchen – he whipped his eyes away as soon as he realized they were trained on the other boy’s ass in his tight jeans – and then returned his close-lipped smile when he passed them again on the way back to his room. The volume of the dubstep was turned on fractionally, and Marc wanted to continue the heavy petting, but somehow, Lucas wasn’t really into it, and though Marc clearly was angling for an invitation to spend the night, Lucas didn’t extend one.

He said goodnight to Marc, and went to his room. He sat still on his bed, his knees pulled up, his arms around himself, wondering how on earth he had gotten himself in this situation. Maybe he needed to move out anyway. It was clear his crush on Eliott, stupid and one-sided as it was, hadn’t died, and maybe it wouldn’t as long as he lived here.

A knock on the door brought him back into the here and now.

At his “Yes?”, the door opened, and Eliott stood right at the threshold, his hands wrung together.

“Uh, Lucas, I was wondering… Uhm, please don’t take this the wrong way, but, uh… I thought about earlier, and maybe, if it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle, I would indeed prefer it if you went to your room with your, uh, boyfriend in the future.”

The last words came out in a rush, and Lucas wondered if he heard them right.

“Excuse me?”, he uttered, painfully polite.

Eliott mumbled the same sentence as before, this time so low Lucas had to strain to hear it, but there was no doubt Eliott was actually saying what he thought he had been saying.

“Are you saying I can’t bring a guy over to my own flat, that I pay rent for, unless I go to my room with him? What the actual fuck?”

Eliott blushed.

“It’s just… You don’t have to, obviously, but maybe it would be easier for both of us…”

Lucas glared.

“Easier for both of us? How do you figure that, exactly?”

“I mean, you wouldn’t have to worry about me walking in on you…”

“I wouldn’t have to worry about that?” Lucas really was upset. Just because Eliott wasn’t interested in him, didn’t mean he had to be such a douchebag about other guys maybe being so. “Are you sure it’s not just about you? Your straight innocent eyes can’t handle two guys making out, is that it?”

A blush appeared on Eliott’s cheeks, and Lucas deflated. So Eliott was indeed uncomfortable with the idea. The moving out plan became more and more alluring by the minute.

It was silent for a long beat, and then Eliott spoke up, enunciating clearly.

“I’m not straight.”

“Huh? Don’t give me crap. I’ve seen most of your one-night stands. Very female, the lot of them.”

“Yeah, I know…” Eliott chuckled a bit self-deprecatingly. “I’m pan, though. I’ve been with guys too, just not…recently.”

In all honesty, the Lucas of a few months ago would have been elated to hear this. Right now, however, it was more a question of adding insult to injury. So Eliott was into other boys, just not into Lucas. It was this epiphany that drove him to bitterness.

“Yeah, well. At least girls have been doing it for you, then.”

“What? What do you mean?” Eliott sounded genuinely confused.

“All the dubstep. Have you even spent one night alone this month?”

When Eliott froze, Lucas almost wanted to take back his words. Eliott didn’t owe him any accountability.

“Uh, I’m sorry about the dubstep. I haven’t been seeing anybody for a while, but I… I kinda kept playing the music. I don’t know why.”

He was not looking at Lucas as he spoke, and he fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Oh. Well, it’s none of my business anyway, so, uh –”

“What if I wanted it to be?”

Silence.

“What?”

“What if I wanted it to be your business?”, Eliott repeated. He sounded unsure, but he stared straight at Lucas.

Lucas didn’t answer, sitting on his bed open-mouthed. What was Eliott trying to say? The other boy took a deep breath, and gingerly sat down next to Lucas, far enough not to touch him, but close enough to feel his warmth.

“I, uh, I brought over only girls recently because there was this one boy I was trying to get out of my head. And when that didn’t work, I didn’t want him to suspect anything so I kept playing music. It’s stupid, I know.”

Whoa. Lucas tried to unpack all of that in a logical manner, but he failed spectacularly.

“You played dubstep so I would think you had a girl over?”

Eliott nodded.

“And you brought only girls home because…”

“Because boys weren’t doing it for me, not when they weren’t you. Not that the girls were working out, either.”

There was honesty and vulnerability in his voice, and in his eyes.

“But why… why didn’t you just talk to me? You avoided me all the time… We hardly ever even spoke before now…”

“I know. I just, I crushed so hard on you, from the moment you came to see the flat. But I had no idea you were into guys… I thought the girl you were with was your girlfriend. You two seemed so affectionate.”

“Oh, uh, no, she’s one of my best friends, and an ex-roommate, actually. But I’m gay, so, uh…”

Eliott sighed.

“Yeah, I figured that out now. And it sucks, because maybe, if I had just made a move sooner… But it doesn’t matter. You have a boyfriend, and I’ll have to learn to live with that.”

Oh crap. Lucas had forgotten all about Marc.

“I wouldn’t call it that… We went out a couple of times… Mostly because it seems I was applying your tactic to try to get over a certain somebody I was crushing on… Somebody I too thought was straight, what with all the girls he was bringing home…”

He let his words die off, looking at Eliott.

It took him a few seconds, but then he turned towards Lucas, shifting slightly closer. Their legs touched, and it burned Lucas through Eliott’s jeans and his sweatpants.

“So, uh, if that guy promised not to bring over any girls anymore, could you be persuaded not to see Marc anymore?”

Lucas pretended to mull it over.

“Maybe if he also promised he won’t play dubstep if I ever end up in his bed, I think I could be, yes.”

Eliott laughed.

“I won’t have to play anything if we stay in your bed.”

And that sounded like a perfect compromise, so Lucas toppled Eliott and pressed their lips together.

[samwpmarleau]

What do you think causes some targaryens go mad. I go with the theory that it has to do with the blood magic that they were doing

It’s a common misconception that “Targaryen madness” is a thing. Targaryens have no more “mad” people in their family than anyone else, it’s just that they are much higher profile than anyone else due to being monarchs. In fact, they really should have a much higher count and a whole lot more deformities, given that the IRL families they’re based on — primarily the Ptolemys and the Hapsburgs — had a lot of that.

In 300 years of known Targaryen history, there were only a handful who could be considered “mad,” and almost all of them were in part or in whole a result of trauma:

Maegor

Was likely conceived through some dark magic by Visenya, or was possibly just a psychopath.

Helaena

Victim of Blood and Cheese. They killed the guards at her door, took her and her three young children hostage, forced her to choose which of her sons would die and if she didn’t then her daughter would be raped and all three children would be killed, so she ended up choosing her youngest son who was too young to know what was happening but they killed her eldest instead.

Then she was held for half a year in captivity and finally committed suicide (or was murdered) at age 21. I’d go “mad” too, wouldn’t you?

Aegon III

Grew up in the midst of a civil war. At the age of just 9, he fled with his younger to Essos, but their ship was attacked by pirates and the only way to escape was on his dragon with Viserys left behind. The dragon died of injuries once returning to Dragonstone and Aegon never rode one again due to the experience.

A few months later, his brother led an attack against the people who took Viserys and died in the attempt. A few months after that, another brother was killed in a riot in King’s Landing, which Aegon witnessed.

After returning with his mother to King’s Landing later from Dragonstone, he saw charred corpses of Rhaenyra’s loyalists hanging from the gates, cried out for his mother to flee, watched her guards get slaughtered, and then witnessed her get devoured by Sunfyre, her dragon.

Ascended to the throne and had to deal with an endless parade of would-be regents who were scheming, plotting, and assassinating.

In 133, lived throug the Winter Fever that killed many, including his Hand of the King. This all happened before the age of 13, at which point his wife, Jaehaera, committed suicide or was murdered.

He eventually died of consumption (tuberculosis) at age 36.

Baelor I

Peaceful, forgiving, and kind to the smallfolk, though did lock up his sisters in the Maidenvault to prevent temptation.

Brokered peace with Dorne to bring them into the Seven Kingdoms without bloodshed.

Became a bit more loony later, but that could be due to all the snake bites he endured while rescuing his brother in Dorne. Eventually died of fasting when Daena gave birth to a bastard.

On the fence whether he was some kind of religious extremist or whether he was just Like That.

Rhaegel

Called mad, but not really. He had some kind of intellectual disability, yet a) he was still regarded as “sweet” and “gentle” (not that those traits are necessary to being “not mad”) and b) had three children with his wife who all appeared to not inherit his condition, in addition to three brothers and their children who also did not show signs, therefore suggesting it was not something he inherited or passed down, merely a fluke.

Aerion

Likely mad. Though interestingly, for a very long time he was just a supreme douchebag; it wasn’t until he was 40 years old that he did the whole thing about thinking himself a literal dragon and dying by drinking wildfire.

Maelys Blackfyre

Vicious, brutal, and incredibly strong. Possibly mad...or could just be a beefier version of Tywin.

Aerys II

Obviously the Targaryen most people cite as the first example of madness. For good reason, of course; you don’t burn people alive and brutalize your wife if you’re sane.

...however.

Was married off to his sister, neither of whom was fond of the other, at just 14 and Rhaella was 13. Became a king at the pretty young age of 18.

In his youth, he was charming, generous, resolute, and ambitious. He liked music, dancing, and masked balls, though was not the most intelligent person, which was partially why he relied so much on Tywin. Of course, there was also the incident with Joanna Lannister (not rape, as many believe, but certainly groping).

The madness started to appear with each successive stillbirth, miscarriage, and child death, to the point where he would behead Rhaella’s wet nurses and then his mistress, though after all that he changed his mind, did a walk of repentance, and swore to be faithful.  In short, he was an asshole and sometimes ruthless (again, it should be noted: is any of that much different than Tywin?), but certainly not yet the monster he would become.

Then came the Defiance of Duskendale, wherein many of Aerys’s guards were killed and he was taken hostage for six months with constant threat of execution. This ordeal led to him sequestering himself in the Red Keep for four years and his mental state deteriorated quite rapidly from there.

So, was he mad? Absolutely, there’s no denying that. But at the same time, I’m not so sure that he would have become quite so monstrous and tyrannical as he is in canon had it not been for the trauma of Duskendale.

(Also, I know he has a reputation of paranoia and all, but is it really paranoia if lots of people are out to get you?)

Viserys

The only evidence we have for Viserys showing signs of madness as a boy is Barristan’s statement that is done 20 years later in retrospect. I sincerely doubt that a 7-year-old child was some mini-Aerys and that like a lot of Barristan’s statements and thoughts, he is not being truthful.

Growing up, he was forbidden to be alone with his mother and witnessed at least some of his father’s atrocities, though Rhaella tried to shield him from it. Likely had little interaction or bonding with Rhaegar, who was 17 years older and an extreme introvert, so he was functionally an only child.

At the age of 7, learned that his father, brother, sister-in-law, and two infant cousins were killed, and fled with Rhaella to Dragonstone. Eight months later, Rhaella died in childbirth and he, baby Dany, and Willem Darry fled in the night to exile in Essos.

Five years later, when Viserys was 13, Willem Darry dies, the servants steal what little money they had, and Viserys is left to fend for himself with a 5-year-old sister in tow. They end up having to live off the generosity of others, all while being pursued by Robert’s assassins. Eventually the people who put them up turned from them and they had to sell their possessions, the last of which was Rhaella’s crown: “the last joy had gone from him, leaving only rage.” To add insult to injury, people started calling him the beggar king.

We know the rest, of course. Though his and Dany’s relationship was warm at the beginning, he began to blame her for Rhaella’s death and took out his anger and their plight on her.

So, was Viserys mad? I think that to a degree, we can say he was. But again, while his actions towards Dany are NOT excusable, I think they are explainable. Viserys suffered extreme trauma from a very early age and throughout the rest of his life, and that would have a profound impact on anyone. It’s my belief that had that not happened, Viserys would have not have been the rageful, abusive person we see in canon.

In sum, unless I’m missing someone, there are a grand total of nine Targaryens who are often deemed “mad” or “addled.” Two of those — Aegon and Helaena — are most definitely trauma-induced. One — Rhaegel — had mental issues. Two — Baelor and Maelys — are up for debate. Two — Maegor and Aerion — are I’d say pretty definitively mad. And two — Aerys and Viserys — are a combination of both.

To answer your question, no, I don’t think the madness is from blood magic (other than Maegor), both because of the circumstances and because to my knowledge no one was practicing blood magic. I think the handful of Targaryens who are “mad” is just luck of the draw.

[when-they-write-stuff]

Hi! We’ve never talked but I adore your blog and writing 🤗 I would love to see 38 from the prompt post maybe?

38. “Nothing about us is conventional”

- -

Stiles kissed Derek first.

He’d always thought that one day, after the man got his head out of his ass and realized Stiles was downright irresistible, Derek would be the one to initiate things. But then at the beginning of senior year, after a summer of Stiles spending every waking moment at the loft, Derek still hadn’t done anything.

So Stiles kissed him first. He thought he was allowed to do that.

And the thing was, Derek responded.

Stiles liked to believe that one day, he’d break down all of the Sourwolf’s walls. He knew he’d gotten even further this summer than he ever had before, but Derek was a fortress. Just when Stiles thought he’d broken down the man’s last level of grumpy-growly defense, he was faced with a whole other line of barriers.

One day, Stiles thought. One day, he’d get the man to fully trust him. But for now, he thought things were good enough.

Except, he forgot Derek was a hard-headed asshole.

“This,” Derek said, coffee in hand and a brown-haired woman standing at his side, “is Amy.”

Stiles blinked intelligently at her for a moment. Her cheeks were pink and she looked nervous, the barista’s apron wrapped around her waist. Stiles supposed it wasn’t ‘Amy’ who surprised him, but the fact that Derek knew anybody outside of his little loft hidey-hole.

Also, that the man was introducing them. Maybe he was proud of making a new friend?

Derek waited with a raised eyebrow and Stiles blinked out of his thoughts, pushing a half-hearted grin onto his face as he nodded, not quite sure where this was going. Derek confused him sometimes. “Okay.”

Some of Amy’s smile faded. Derek shot him a warning look.  “Stiles, this is that friend I was telling you about.”

‘Derek’ and ‘friend’ still took Stiles off guard. He supposed if he thought about it, Derek had mentioned meeting someone at the cafe a few weeks ago. He’d said something about how she was ‘nice’ and ‘funny’. Stiles was pretty sure he’d been complaining about his single woes from Sophomore year, then. He hadn’t really been listening to Derek or himself, to be honest.

Sometimes, Stiles just felt the need to talk.

“Oh,” Stiles said. Then a sudden panicked realization hit him like a truck. “Oh.”

Derek’s forced smile looked more murderous than usual. But before Stiles could make up an excuse to run, Amy was stepping forward, Derek was stepping back, and Stiles was left alone with no coffee and apparently a… a... wait, was Derek wingmanning him?

Stiles’s stomach did something entirely new and he was pretty sure he wasn’t okay with it.

Amy started to say something but Stiles’s mind had gone blank. Three days ago, he and Derek had been making out on the couch and now the man was trying to set him up? Or maybe… maybe… no, the kissing had not been a fever dream. Stiles had gone right home afterward and proceeded to have a panic attack followed by the literal eating of a giant tub of ice cream in celebration.

His dad had been giving him strange looks ever since.

“Stiles?”

Stiles snapped out of his thoughts, looking at Amy with round eyes. She held out a slip of paper with her number on it and he stared for a moment, before plastering another grin on his face and taking the paper from her hands.

“So you’ll pick me up at seven?”

“Seven?”

Amy’s smile flickered. “For dinner at that new Italian place I was just telling you about.”

“Oh,” Stiles said. “Um, oh, yeah. Italian! Love Italian. Yeah, I’ll be there. At seven. Because this is a date?”

Amy was looking a lot less impressed now than she was five minutes ago. Stiles thought that was usually how things went when he talked to girls, wingmanned or not. But she still nodded and then turned away, moving back behind the cafe counter.

Stiles just stood there for another few moments, staring at the slip of paper in his hands as his brain tried to catch up.

Derek had just wingmanned him. Derek Hale has just wingmanned him. Then left. And now Stiles was going on a date. Tonight.

“Oh my god,” Stiles said, shoving the number into his pocket.

That stubborn-headed Alpha bastard.

-

Stiles showed up at the loft a lot later that night with a suit jacket hanging off one shoulder, a tie half undone, and exhaustion under his eyes that he couldn’t even begin to explain.

Derek sat on the couch and tensed up the moment he spotted him in the doorway. Stiles held his gaze for a long moment before trudging over and dropping down at his side with a sigh. If possible, Derek tensed even more.

“Did you have a… good date?”

“Dude,” Stiles said, glancing over. “I think my wallet is crying.”

Derek’s brows furrowed. Stiles leaned heavily against his side, just wanting to burrow up and maybe sleep for the next day or two. 

It wasn’t like anything had gone wrong, exactly. In fact, Stiles would say he’d been the proper gentleman. He’d shown up on time, he’d paid for dinner and dessert. They’d walked around town after and when Amy told him things ‘just weren’t like she’d expected’ Stiles nearly full on agreed. But he was a gentleman. So he’d just nodded, driven her home, and decided he was never letting Derek wingman him again.

Which really shouldn’t be a decision he had to make.

“I just want curly fries and sleep,” Stiles said. “But that restaurant was so expensive, I don’t think I can even afford curly fries right now.”

“So… it didn’t go well?”

Stiles glared at him. “I blame you for this.”

“What.”

“Dude!” Stiles said, drawing back a few inches. “What? What? When you said ‘let’s go get coffee’ this morning, I expected to be walking out with a nice hot mocha, not a date!”

Derek gave him a blank look. “I told you days ago this was happening.”

“Uh, when?”

“When I told you Amy was looking for someone and you said ‘oh yeah, I know that feeling’.”

“Because I do! I have! Not now, but—”

“Then I told you I could try and set something up and you gave me a funny look and said ‘yeah, Sourwolf, you do that’ and proceeded to walk out of the loft.”

Stiles blinked at him. For some reason, those words did sound familiar, but he wouldn’t go around saying something like that unless… “Dude, I was joking! Are you serious right now? I’m like, ninety percent sure we had just finished making out before that conversation!”

Derek stared. Then his face turned bright red, he frowned even harder, and proceeded not to say another word. Stiles shoved himself off the couch, throwing his hands up.

“Oh my god, Derek! Are you serious?”

“What.”

“Stop ‘what-ing’ me! Do you really think I go around kissing people and then letting them set me up with someone else? That’s a douchebag move. That’s a Jackson move!”

The man looked at him with a blank expression. Stiles scoffed and turned away, waving a hand over his shoulder.

“You know what, fine dude, whatever. I’m going to go beg spare change from my own father because I’m in desperate need of curly fries but I can’t even afford any right now. Please, feel free to make up a list of everyone else you think I should attempt dating. Clearly I need it.”

Derek didn’t answer. Stiles gave him one more look over his shoulder but the man just crossed his arms, arching one brow. Stomach twisting, Stiles stalked out of the loft and made sure to slam the door behind him.

He was tired earlier. Now he was downright pissed.

When he made it to his jeep, he didn’t drive for a long moment. Instead, he glared at nothing and tried to keep himself from stalking right back up to the loft. What the hell did Derek think they were? What the hell did he think Stiles had wanted in the first place?

He tried to replay the last few weeks over again in his head. The first time Stiles had kissed him; all nerves and a sudden rush of adrenaline. Then small kisses on the couch, or in the kitchen, or when Stiles came by the loft after school.

And Stiles… Stiles hadn’t known what exactly to call it. 

They didn’t mention anything to the pack but Stiles thought that might just take time. And Derek didn’t really acknowledge anything was happening until Stiles was kissing him, but he thought maybe that was just another one of the man’s walls.

Sighing, Stiles dropped his forehead against the steering wheel. Was he the idiot here?

No, he couldn’t be. It was the hard-headed, grumpy growly, big bad Alpha werewolf who was most likely up angsting in the loft and—

A knock on his window startled Stiles out of his thoughts. He squawked, head snapping upward, and his elbow banged on the steering wheel, the alarm almost instantly going off. Derek jumped back and Stiles swore, quickly turning it off.

For a moment, they just stared at each other. Then, groaning, Stiles opened his door and pulled himself back into the night, crossing his arms against the faint chill.

“What, Derek?”

“You weren’t checking me off a list.”

Stiles stared at him for a long moment before finding words. Derek’s face turned bright red and the man dropped his gaze. “What?”

“You weren’t checking me off a list or experimenting with… another gender, or—”

“Dude, what the hell?”

Derek looked up, a ‘caught in headlights’ look in his eyes. Stiles swallowed hard, searching his face. 

“That’s what you thought I was doing?”

“You’re a teenager, Stiles, it’s the expected and conventional behavior of—”

“Conventional,” Stiles said, cutting him off. 

Derek nodded.

“Oh my god,” Stiles said, rubbing a hand over his face. To be honest, he really should have seen this coming. One of Derek’s biggest walls was ‘I’m not deserving of actual love’ but Stiles had been hoping he’d broken that one down already. Apparently not. “Derek, nothing about us is conventional.”

Derek just looked confused. Stiles sighed and stepped forward, tilting his chin upward.

“You’re a big bad grumpy Alpha werewolf. I’m the token human with a baseball bat who Isaac compares much too often to Little Red Riding Hood. We fight monsters every other week and attempt to live normal lives in between. Also, I’m eighteen now. I’m like, a couple years away from getting grey hairs.”

Derek rolled his eyes at that. Stiles grinned, reaching up to brush the pad of his thumb across the man’s lower lip.

“Also you’re like, really hot. I’ve been wanting you to kiss me since Sophomore year and if we’re being honest, I kissed you first with the hopes that we could keep doing that. For a long time. Like, a really long time. Like, maybe until we actually do have grey hairs and—”

Derek moved forward and cut him off, slightly chapped lips pressing against his own. Stiles startled for only a second before melting into the man’s touch, his hand moving to cup the back of Derek’s neck.

“You,” Derek said around his lips, breaths warm against his skin. “Stiles, I want you too.”

“Good, you big idiot, because I’ve been pining for two years now—”

Derek seemed to notice how effectively he could shut Stiles up by just kissing him. Because the man only growled at the back of his throat and pushed Stiles against the jeep, one hand catching a handful of his hair and tilting his head back a few inches before kissing him harder.

Stiles wasn’t really complaining. 

And yeah, he thought Derek was kind of a big idiot. But to be fair, he could be too. And maybe it took two years, one chaotically pining summer, and an accidental wingmanning situation, but Stiles was pretty sure he’d broken down another wall tonight,

There were probably more. 

Like, a lot more. Like enough to give him grey hairs even as a teenager more. But Stiles might be a little okay with that. One day, he thought, he’d get the man to fully trust him. One day, he’d break down all of Derek’s walls. But for now, things were good enough. 

Derek was always enough.

- -

I had so much fun with this one! Thank you so much for the prompt, you’re so fantastic. And I hope I did it justice! 

(if you enjoy my writing, consider supporting your underpaid student writer? You can also request a prompt if you’d like!). https://ko-fi.com/rh27writer

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

1, 9, 15, 17, 21, 25, 26, 29, 33, 41, 46, 48, 54, 59, 68, 73, 81, 96, 98

😊

Oh my word! That's a lot!

Ok, here goes.

Behind cut for length

1. Name - I prefer Shanie but my parents call me “Mis”. Well, my mom calls me “Mis” my father calls me “Pooch” which I despise. Just stick with Shanie.

9. What did you study - I changed majors midway through college. I started out as an art major focusing on computer animation. That didn’t work out at ALL. Turns out I sucked ass at computer animation. Too much math involved. So I switched to a major in teaching with minors in history and popular culture. Unfortunately I failed at that too and, while I did graduate, it was with a degree in “Planned Program” which is a polite way of saying “General Ed”. I did earn my two minors though, so I guess that’s something!

15. Relationship Status -  Single. Very Very Single. I haven’t had a single date in about 10 years. By the looks of it, I’m going to stay single.

17. Do you have a crush - Do celebrities count? If not then no. I don't even know anyone IRL to have crushes on. I legit have nobody in my IRL life outside of my parents and my case manager. Kind of hard to have a crush when you don't have any friends or even acquaintances.

21: How was your day -  Well, today I got nothing accomplished. I did have a meeting with my case manager, so that was nice. It’s nice to have someone to talk to and infodump on (which she lets me). Outside of that I woke up, had breakfast, lunch, and dinner, had a nap, and went to Dairy Queen for ice cream on the way home. Unfortunately, DQ is on the far side of town and by the time I got home, it was melted. So it went in the fridge to eat later once it refreezes. Outside of that it was a pretty boring day.

25. Your fears - Whoo-ee. Ok. So coming in with the borderline I’d say my biggest fear is abandonment. That just comes with the territory. After that I have a huge fear of storms and waking up in a fire, both brought about by recurring nightmares. I also have a fear of flying (too much Air Crash Investigations) and I hate elevators. I’m not claustrophobic mind you, I just have a fear that they will fall on me. Anything over 3 stories and I’m having an anxiety attack. There are other, lesser fears but those are some of the big ones.

26. Your dreams - Well, in a literal sense, my dreams are wild, crazy adventures that I get most of my fanfics from. From a metaphorical standpoint I really don’t have any. I’ve given up on hoping for anything good in my life. I’m too busy trying to get from day to day to indulge in long term planning. I know it seems terrible, but it’s the truth.

29. Hobbies - Obviously action figures, that much is clear. I collect and customize them to display in my apartment. I also like making digital art (sometimes) and am starting to get into illustrations/artwork. However, I don’t have a tablet/pen for the computer so everything is done with the mouse and GIMP (which makes it difficult). I’m an avid collector of digital media. Some of my big ones are Doctor Who DVDs, Wrestling Entrance Themes, and Official Xena Photos (not the physical ones, jpeg scans). I used to be big into Wizard101 and, while I don’t really play anymore, I still like following the game on YT and on here.

33. Languages you speak – Only English, except it’s a very specific English. I usually speak what’s called the “Yinzer” dialect which is a dialect that is unique to the Pittsburgh region. That’s why you see me use the word “Yinz” a bunch. That’s our word for “You guys” or “Y’all”. However, while most of my speech is Yinzer, I have watched enough British TV in my lifetime to have picked up some Brit speech. It confuses the hell out of people when I use it because you’ll have me say things like “My apartment needs cleaned” and then follow it up thirty seconds later with, “I’m rubbish at cleaning.” My mother has picked up on this and sometimes calls me her “British Daughter” because of it.

41. Your Device Background – My phone’s lock screen is a picture of Shane in his Roman Centurion outfit from the one Royal Rumble photo shoot. My phone background is a checkered wallpaper with “SZ” on it for Sami Zayn. (That one might be getting changed if he stops being Sami.) And my computer background is just a night sky over the mountains. I rarely ever see my computer wallpaper so I don’t mind that it is a generic background.

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done – You know how Lucy breathes fire on Xena? I taught myself how to do that. That wasn’t bright to begin with but it was made so much worse that I was underage and couldn’t buy Bacardi and was using lamp oil instead. I was young and dumb.

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life – Funny thing, I’m a sucker for strange foods. There was a list going around that said “How many of these weird foods have you eaten” and I think I had eaten all but six of them and that was only because I didn’t have access to them. I’m proud to say that, since then, I’ve knocked Quail Egg off the list! Turns out the local Japanese restaurant served it. So that knocked it down to five. Still need to get ahold of some gator meat and haggis. I’d love to try Foie Gras but it’s just so damn unethical that I don’t know if I could bring myself to eat it. Pheasant is another one that I’d love to try but I can’t convince my parents to buy me one (and I’m far too poor to afford it myself). But, yeah. I love strange foods. I’ll pretty much try any food once if I know it’s safe to eat.

54. Any tattoos or piercings – Unless you count partially pierced ears then no. And my ears are only partially pierced because after I had them done they got infected so I tried to let them heal shut. They ended up not closing fully and now, if I’m not adverse to a bit of pain, I can still wear earrings occasionally.

59. Song you wouldn’t normally admit you like – Judas is my guilty pleasure song. I know Jericho is a douchebag and I have tried to hate the song but I can’t. I end up singing along every time.

68. Favorite Movie/Series - Hmm... well, my all time favorite movie is definitely “The Towering Inferno”, hands down. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen that. I’m a sucker for disaster movies and, in my opinion, that one is the cream of the crop. I actually like it better than “The Poseidon Adventure” simply because I think the movie is inferior to the book. That said, I’ve also read both of the books that “The Towering Inferno” is based on and I like the combined movie better than them. Favorite series, however, I don’t think I have one definitive favorite series. I’ve had favoriteS like Xena, Buffy, Sherlock, Doctor Who, etc, but I’ve never had one all time favorite.

73: Favorite Greek God – Oh geez. Hmmm... You know, I’m going to have to go with Hermes here, primarily because I have this theory that he is the god of the internet. I know there was no internet in ancient Greece but, frankly, Hermes is the god of commerce, communication, travelers, and thieves. While it’s true that Hephaestus is the god of technology and would probably be the god of computers, I fully believe that Hermes would be the patron of the interwebs.

81 Favorite Books – In all honesty, going to college for 8 years burned me out for reading and now I can barely bring myself to read a comic book. For this reason, most of my favorite books come from childhood. My all time favorite book as a kid was “Flight #116 Is Down” by Caroline B Cooney. It was a disaster story about plane crash in a young woman’s back yard. Somehow, everyone didn’t die – a fact which was called out in the final pages when a fireman says that the crash was extremely odd because “usually they’re all dead.” That book might be another reason I’m terrified of flying. Other favorite books of mine was the “Fear Street Saga Trilogy” (Not the Fear Street Series, the trilogy that served as the origin story). I also like the Hitchhikers Guide saga but when I found out that Douglas Adams died before he could finish the saga, I stopped reading after book 4 so that the story had a happy ending. Novelizations in general are a big thing for me too, I’ve read some really good ones over the years and it’s fascinating to see how they differ from the movies they’re based on.

96. Hero or Villain – Well, if my dreams are anything to go by, I’m a villain at heart. I know, weird right? You all think I’m such a nice person but really, I have a huge dark side to me IRL and, if I was in a world where superheroes were real and I had superpowers I would almost certainly use them for evil. Or, at the very least I would use them to force social change ala Dr. Horrible.

98. Shapeshifting or Controlling Time – SHAPESHIFTING! Oh my goodness shapeshifting! I would love that so much! First of all, I wouldn’t be this huge anymore. I could be as heavy or a skinny as I want. Also, I wouldn’t have to worry about looking old or losing my hair! Plus, can you imagine the cosplay potential!? Forget dressing as the 13th Doctor, I AM THE 13th DOCTOR! That would just be the best!

PHEW! That was a lot! Thanks so much for the ask! This was fun. I love ask games.

[otomefoxystar]

The One - Chapter Two

Fandom:  Kissed by the Baddest Bidder 

Pairing: Charolette X Eisuke 

Warning: Mentions of being attacked, and amensia 

Genre: Angst 

Written by: @otomefoxystar

As satisfied as Charlotte felt there was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She got out of bed and Eisuke eyed her.

“ Where are you going?” He smirked at her as he put his arms above his head. 

“ To the bathroom? what’s wrong?” he chuckled lowly 

“ You’ll see once you’re in the bathroom” one side of her lip pulled up.

“ You should take a look at yourself.” He took in a deep breath and looked into the mirror. 

“ Jesus, woman!” He looked back at her.

“ Honestly, you look just as bad.” 

Charolette looked in the mirror and felt over the bruises Eisuke left on her skin. She sighed, and he looked over at her.

“ How am I going to go to work like this? At least yours can be covered by your shirt.” Eisuke scoffed

“ You’re a woman, cover it up with makeup.” She glared at him

The next day they were riding home in the limo away from the hotel.

“ You did well Charolette, don’t worry it won’t happen again. We can go back to the way things were before.”

Charlotte didn’t know what to say so she just nodded her head fiddling with the sleeve of her blazer. They rode the rest of the way to the hotel in silence. She was looking out the window at the buildings going by. Regret filled her up, and she knew that working with Eisuke was going to difficult from here on out. 

She would just have to get through it, he assured her it would only happen once. She would treat him with respect because he was her boss, but she was going to keep her guard up. She decided from here on out that she wouldn’t let him push her around anymore, she was going to keep him at an arm’s length. Eisuke looked over at her looking out the window and for the first time since meeting her, he wondered what was going through her head. It was a strange feeling; usually, after having sex he would make the woman leave and his body would feel satisfied, but he would also feel empty. It was different with Charolette, she had warmed him up. She wasn’t like the women he dated. She had brought something out in him, he just couldn’t pinpoint what it was. When the limo pulled over she got out and turned to him.

“ I’ll, uh...see you tomorrow.” She quickly turned from him and walked off to her room.

She didn’t sleep around she could count the number of people she’d slept with on two hands. As soon as she closed the door behind her she locked the door, and ran to the bathroom and slid to the floor into a crying mess. She sobbed into her knees as the images of the night clouded her mind. To say she didn’t enjoy herself was a lie, but this was not her, and she didn’t know how to go on from here. 

She composed herself and walked to the hotel bar where she drank drink after drink. As she continued to drink herself into oblivion a man in the corner of the bar was watching her intently as if she were prey to be eaten. Ota entered the bar when he saw an inebriated Charlotte. He sat next to her and looked at her with concern.

“ Koro” She looked over at him and glared.

“ Go away Ota I want to be alone.”

He shook his head as she downed another shot of rum.

“ In the years I’ve known you, you’ve never told me to go away. We’re close right?” She looked at him and sighed.

“ Yes, we’re close Ota, you’re the only one I trust, the only one I can talk to.” He smiled

“ Okay then, talk to me. I’ve never seen you drink like this.” She downed another shot 

“ I’m fine I just wanted to let off some steam.” He cocked an eyebrow

The bartender brought her another shot, but Ota moved it out her way.

“ I think you’ve had enough.” 

She pushed Ota and stormed off. 

“ Charlotte!” 

When she was about to leave that mysterious man covered her mouth, and took her in the storage room. Ota didn’t know where she went, so he went looking for her. 

“ If you scream I’ll make this miserable so be good and don’t make a peep.”  

She tried to get away, but she fell and he pinned her down to the floor. He ripped her shirt and ripped her skirt trying to get it off. He started to unbuckle his belt, and she decided to take a chance and yelled.

“ Ota! Help me!” He heard her right away, and the man hit her on the side of her face. 

Ota came rushing in and took in the sight of someone choking Charolette. He tore the man off of Charolette.

“ Do you get off on targeting drunk women!?” He punched him so hard he fell backward hitting his head on a shelf causing him to be unconscious. 

Ota helped Charolette up, and put an arm around her.

“ Here, let's cover you up.” He took off his jacket and put it over her trembling body. Tears started pricking at her eyes, and Ota read the emotion swimming in her eyes.

“Hey, I’m here. He embraced her and she started sobbing. Her knees buckled and he lifted her princess style and carried her to the penthouse.

Sometime along the way she passed out in his arms.

Ota laid her down on the couch in the lounge and covered her up with a blanket. As soon as he put her down he noticed the blue shiner on her cheekbone and the bruises around her throat. Everybody started gathering in the lounge ready for an auction meeting but noticed a sleeping Charolette on the couch. 

“ Why is she sleeping on the couch?” Baba asked 

Ota looked at the men that were looking at him for answers.

“ She was attacked at the bar, I just keep thinking about what would’ve happened if I wasn’t there.”

Soryu looked down at her and saw her shirt was torn.

“ When you say attacked? What exactly happened Ota?” Ota took in a deep breath.

Eisuke walked in and noticed the state she was in.

“ What the hell happened?” He said as he noticed her ripped clothes as she turned on the couch. Then he saw the bruise on her face and throat and his eyes narrowed in anger.

“ Ota was there” Mamoru stated, and Eisuke looked at him for answers.

“ Explain...Now!” Ota looked down and sighed.

“ I found her drinking practically all the rum in the bar. I told her that she’d had enough and she got mad and pushed me and stormed off. I went looking for her, but then I heard her screaming my name. I went into the storage room, and this disgusting man was hovering over her about to have his way with her.” Soryu’s eyes widened 

“ Are you telling us that she was almost raped?”

Ota took a deep breath“ Yes, and she passed out when I picked her up. She’s completely blasted.” 

Eisuke looked down at her, and back at the men in front of him.

“ She is not to leave until this asshole douchebag is found. She’s safe here with us.” He scooped her up in his arms and carried her trembling body to his room. He laid her down on the guest bed, and grabbed one of his t-shirts, and changed her into it. He covered her up.

“ I knew I should’ve made you come with me.” He stroked her hair 

“ If you wanted to get drunk I could’ve arranged that. Unless... I’m the reason for your actions.” He turned off the light and shut the door.

Later that night Charolette woke up in a sweat feeling disoriented. She didn't recognize her surroundings and she started to panic. She got out of bed feeling the need to escape, and once she left the room she started to register where she was but didn’t remember why. Nothing made sense her head felt all jumbled, and she felt the need to run. She started to open the door when she heard footsteps and she quickly opened the door feeling a rush of urgency and fear.

“ What do you think you’re doing?” Eisuke said as he grabbed her wrist.

She looked back at him with fear in her eyes. He had never seen her look at him like that before. She had always had spirit and spunk, this was not the Charolette he knew. Something was very wrong. Tears filled her fear-stricken eyes, and Eisuke measured up the scared women in front of him. 

“ Don’t hurt me, let me go home please.” He looked at her worriedly.

“ I won’t hurt you Charolette, but you can’t go home. You’re safe here.” She started shaking her head.

“ No, no, no I need to go home. I have to work tomorrow.” Eisuke turned her around so she was looking at him.

“ I’ll call Kenzaki, you don’t have to work. Not till we find that asshole that attacked you.” 

She didn’t seem to register what he was saying, it was like she was stuck in her head. Eisuke reached in his pocket and called Soryu.

“ I need everyone in my suite” he hung up the phone and Eisuke led her to the living room and sat her down on the couch, and sat in a chair near her.

Everyone walked in and they saw Charlotte on the couch wearing one of Eisuke’s shirts.

“What’s going on?” Eisuke looked over at Baba

“ I don’t know, she seems confused. I thought you could talk to her Ota, she trusts you.” Ota walked forward and sat next to her, he put his hand on her back and she flinched so he removed his hand.

“ Koro” She looked at him with a confused look on her face.

“ Who’s Koro?” Everyone gasped.

“Uh... Well, nevermind that, Charolette what’s going on?” 

She looked at Ota, and he didn’t see any recognition there. She was a million miles away. He looked over to Eisuke with a questioning look.

“ I need to go home. I have to work tomorrow.” Eisuke scoffed

“ I already told you...” She interrupted him “ I can’t be late, my boss doesn’t like it when I’m late.” Ota cocked his head to the side.

“ Yeah. Charolette... Do you see you’re boss in this room?” Eisuke looked at her expectantly 

She looked at everyone. “ I don’t think so? I’m having a hard time remembering what he looks like.”

“ Charolette... Do you know the men in this room?” She looked at the other men

“ Should I know them?” Everyone was starting to get concerned at this point.

“ Do you know who I am ?” She looked into his amber eyes, studying him. He knew her well enough to know the answer, that she didn’t remember him

“ I recognize you, you seem familiar but I don’t remember. I’m sorry I don’t think I do.” She put her head in her hands and started smacking her head. Ota grabbed her hands and pulled them away.

“ Don’t do that” 

“ Boss, you should probably call Luke. I think there is something wrong with our princess.” 

Ota looked at Charolette, and she looked up and tears started streaming down her face.

“ What’s the matter?” She bit her lip and took a deep breath.

“ I’m so confused.” 

Luke walked in with his doctor kit, and Ota stood up giving Luke space to examine her. 

“ Hi, sexy bones I hear you’re having a hard time remembering things. Let me ask you something do you remember me?” She shook her head

“ That’s okay, do you remember your name?” 

She laughed “ Charolette” Luke pulled a chair in front of her and put his stethoscope around his neck.

“ Do you remember that’s your name or is it because they keep calling you that?” He motioned towards everyone. 

“ I remember” 

“ What’s the last thing you remember?” She knitted her eyebrows together. 

“ I remember pushing my cart and getting paged by my boss, but everything is scattered and I can’t remember faces or names.” 

 Everyone looked at her, and she started crying. Luke put his hand on her shoulder.

“ Listen, let’s not focus on what you can’t remember. Let me examine you, maybe you fell and have a concussion. There might be a reason for your memory loss.”

Once he was done examining her he sat up and cleared his throat. 

“ You look healthy Charolette there’s no concussion. You have bruising on your face and throat.” He looked at the guys standing off to the side. “ The bruising indicates trauma. Do any of you know if something happened?” Eisuke cleared his throat.

“ Let’s talk over here Luke.” Luke got up and walked over to them. “She was attacked and nearly raped, Ota saved her. He brought her here and I put her in my spare room and she woke up and freaked out.” 

“ When did this attack happen?” Luke looked over to Ota 

“ Maybe three hours ago”

“ Do any of you know how long ago her last memory took place?” Eisuke nodded 

“ Two days ago” Luke rubbed his chin 

“ She has trauma-induced amnesia” 

Eisuke looked over at her sniffling and wiping her tears away while she sat on the couch by herself. This was his fault, if he hadn’t made her have sex with him then she wouldn’t have gotten drunk and she wouldn’t have been in that bar in the first place. Because she is who she is and she takes everything so seriously his actions have caused her serious consequences. He might have gotten out of that arranged marriage but now the only woman he ever trusted is broken all because of his selfishness.

“ Will she get her memory back?” He realized she didn’t even remember their night of passion. It might have been about business but some time during the night they had lost themselves in each other.

“ There’s no way to know, sometimes people do sometimes people don’t. I want her to as much as you do, but all we can do is give her time and try to think of ways to get her to remember important things.” Luke looked back at her and back to Eisuke.

“ I don’t suggest she goes back to work, not for a while at least. I also think it’s best she stays here in the penthouse. Probably with Eisuke since he has a spare bedroom.” 

“ Agreed,” Eisuke said as he crossed his arms.

Luke and the other five men walked over to her and Luke sat down next to her.

“ Charlotte, you were attacked and nearly raped. As a result, you’ve lost your memory. You are going to stay here in the penthouse with Eisuke. You will have your own bedroom and have free reign of the penthouse like everyone else, but it’s your safest option. Let me reintroduce you to everyone.” She was scared but knew she had to accept what has been given to her.

“ That is Eisuke the owner of this hotel, and your boss. He’s the one you’ll be staying with. He’s kind of quiet and cold, but it’s a front don’t be afraid of him because he has a soft spot for you. This over here is Baba, he loves women but you are the only woman he treats with respect. This here is Mamo, he’s a lazy ass cop but he cares about you too. This is our resident artist Ota and your best friend. You have been friends ever since you joined us. I’m Luke, I’m the doctor. This is Soryu he's the leader of the dragons and says he hates women but doesn’t hate you. Then there’s Shuichi and Hikaru but they aren’t here. You’ll be safe Charolette I promise.” 

“ I can’t go home?” Luke shook his head.

“ I’m afraid not, it’s not safe for you, it’s safer here with the people that know you.” She looked down.

“ I don’t think I have any clothes why else would I be wearing a man’s shirt?” Eisuke walked over to the chair next to her.

“I’ll make arrangements to get your things. You can make that bedroom your own, decorate it. Do whatever you like it’s yours. You also have your own bathroom. I won’t bother you.” She looked towards the bedroom that now held her life. 

“ We’ll help you remember Koro!” She looked over at Ota 

“ Why do you keep calling me that?” Baba and Ota chuckled 

“ Oh Princess that’s his pet name for you, get used to it.” 

She got up and pulled down the shirt, but not before Eisuke noticed bruises he left on her thigh. He was hoping nobody else noticed, of course, she was a grown woman she has had sex before Eisuke. They would probably think she had some random roll in the hay. He would probably be the last person they’d imagine sexing up their princess. 

“ I’m exhausted I’m going to go to sleep.” She walked off before they had a chance to say anything.

“ Soryu, we’ve got to find that motherfucker!” Soryu looked over to Mamoru 

“ I agree, he stole Charolette’s memories of us. I’ll get the dragons on it right away.” 

After a long night of discussing Charolette’s condition and how to take care of her assailant and the auctions, Eisuke was drained. All he wanted to do was go to bed, but with Charolette asleep in the other room, he couldn’t bring himself to go to his room.

He was worried about her, worried that she would freak out again, worried that she would wake up scared. This wasn’t like him, Eisuke didn’t worry about others, but when it came to Charolette it was different. She was what brought the sunshine into the group. He couldn’t help himself and snuck in the room and shut the door quietly. He sat in a chair in the corner of the room, he unbuttoned two buttons of his shirt and listened to her heavy breathing which eventually lulled him to sleep.

Previous chapter Chapter One

[themangledsans0508]

Big Gnome

Craig Tucker was in no way oblivious, he could tell when his stuff was going missing. In particular, his sweatshirts he was so fond of. Yes, he did indeed have multiple of the same sweatshirt, his mother insistent on making sure he had extras in the case he lost one, or it tore, or perhaps it was stolen. 

Yes, he was aware that someone was stealing his sweatshirts, in particular, a younger shakey blonde. He gave him one to borrow, and it was returned, and then it disappeared, along with Craig’s spare. 

Tweek basically lived at Craig’s house, spending a lot of his free time there and spent the night most days. Yeah, they did spend quite a lot of time together, but they still hung out with their own friends. Craig would hang out with Clyde, Token, and Jimmy and play some video games or just chill out. Tweek would meet up with Scott or Butters and they would do stuff on their own, whether it be board games or just talking about what was going on.

There was no jealousy, and they trusted each other. Being in a relationship for six years helped too, as everyone knew they were exclusive. 

That being so, Craig was rather convinced that his sweatshirt disappearing was Tweek’s doing. 

He didn’t just forget things, he’d remember if he set his sweatshirt down. He doubted anyone would steal it either, it was just a plain blue sweatshirt.

Unless, of course, they wanted to send a message.

Not to him, but to everyone else. A message that said; “Back off, he’s mine.”

Tweek didn’t need to, he had no competition. To Craig, that twitchy blonde was the universe, someone he was committed to. Tweek could be a murderer, and Craig would still be head over heels for him.

The only problem was, he had no proof it was actually Tweek. 

Craig may have been (and occasionally, still was) a level fourteen thief, but when it came to Tweek, he outranked him. The only man who could steal from Craig Tucker and not get caught was Tweek Tweak. Even the level fifteen thief, Douchebag, had gotten caught trying to sneak past him. Tweek however, could rob Craig blind right in front of him and he wouldn’t notice. Not because Tweek was stealthy, but because he would be distracted by the beautiful man in front of him.

He decided he wanted to find out if his lovely boyfriend was in fact the reason his sweatshirts kept disappearing, and to do that he decided that instead of spending the night at his house, they would be spending it at Tweek’s instead.

 So that being said, he sent a text to tell Tweek he would be spending the night at his house with him. The only reason Tweek was home was because his father wanted him to spend some time at least in the house for “the family aspect of the business.”   

Craig hated Richard for a few reasons. The main one being that he didn’t truly care for Tweek and only used him for his own gain. He once thanked him for dating his son, like he was doing it for Richard or like it was a burden he had to carry.

Thinking about it made his blood boil. He didn’t understand how someone could not care about their kids. He knew it happened, he just didn’t understand why it happened.

Yes, Craig was typically cold to most. Yes, he had been a bully. He was different now though. Maybe not to the outside eye, but to those close to him it was obvious. He was less irritable and cruel, and more patient. It would be difficult to connect these changes to anyone but Tweek. He could, in theory, be maturing. In reality, however, Tweek taught him a lot.

Of all the couples in South Park, they were the pair seemingly guaranteed to last. Soulmates, dare he think. 

He would make it last. He was sixteen, young enough to be told he wasn’t old enough to know what he was feeling, but in his opinion, he was old enough to know what he was feeling.

What he was feeling was love, he decided when he was thirteen. Three years later, the feelings had only intensified, confirming his suspicions. They were like two puzzle pieces; they fit perfectly together. Their bodies, their personalities, just like pencil and paper or the moon and the stars.

What didn’t fit together was his sweatshirts and disappearing.

Which is exactly why he was walking down the street as the sun set, daydreaming away. He arrived on the Tweak’s doorstep and noticed the lights on in the living room. He sighed in annoyance. Richard was probably sitting on the couch, watching the news to see what trends he could hop on board of. He knocked to be polite despite the fact it was no longer necessary, and to his dismay, saw Richard stand from his seat.

“Hello Craig,” Richard said with a smile, “Are you spending the night on this fine evening. Fine, like the freshly ground coffee-”

“Yes I am,” Craig interrupted quickly. He didn’t need to hear him go off about coffee, no matter how many years passed or how many times he said it, his coffee still tasted like shit.

“Alright son, Tweek is upstairs.” He patted him and returned to the couch, watching intently for anything teenagers may be attracted to.

 Craig moved swiftly up the stairs, eager as always to see his boyfriend. He didn’t think he’d ever not be eager to see his boyfriend, not after ten years, not after a thousand years, not after a million. 

He opened the door slowly as to not startle Tweek and saw the blonde sitting at his table and working on a lego set. He was focused, his head snapping from his book to the blocks in his hands. Craig wasn’t sure that he had even heard the door open. He took a few steps towards the blonde and tapped his foot a few times to mimic knocking.

“Hey babe,” Craig said. Tweek carefully placed the lego structure on the table and hurried towards Craig, wrapping his arms around him. 

“My God, man! I thought you were joking when you said you were coming over tonight!”

“Why would I be joking?”

“I don’t know, I just thought you weren’t actually coming!”

“Don’t want me here?” Craig smirked.

“No, no, no! Opposite of that, dick.” Tweek stuck his tongue out playfully. “Whenever I’m here, my parents drive me crazy!”

“I know, honey, I know.” Craig squeezed him and then released his grip. “One day we’ll be out of here, Tweek,” he murmured, running his hand down Tweek’s cheek.

“Someday soon, I hope,” Tweek muttered. Craig kissed Tweek’s forehead and rested his chin atop his head.

“After we graduate, we’ll get a place of our own, baby. I promise.” Tweek placed a kiss on his chin and smiled.

“Did you eat already, Craig? Because I can go grab you something if you want.”

“Yes, Tweek, I already ate. It’s like eight at night now,” he chuckled. “What about you, Tweekers? Did you eat?” Tweek nodded.

“Yeah, I was just gonna finish this set and then go to bed.” Tweek pulled away and sat in front of the unfinished building. Craig followed swiftly and picked him up, seating himself in the chair and placing Tweek on his lap.

“I’ll keep you company,” Craig breathed into his neck. Tweek shuddered but continued his work. 

It took around three hours for Tweek to finally finish his project, no thanks at all to Craig who kept running his hands up and down his body, planting random kisses on him, and squeezing rather vulnerable spots.

Craig completely forgot about why he had even come over to spend the night in the first place. That is, until Tweek asked to be released so he could brush his teeth and shower.

“It’s eleven at night, and you want to take a shower?” Craig asked, “Why not just forget it and go to bed?”

“Because I didn’t take one this morning. I like being clean. It won’t take long dude. You can do what you need to in there first so you don’t have to wait for me.” 

“Yeah, I’ll go first. But I’m still going to wait for you.” Craig took his hand and kissed it before removing his grasp to allow Tweek to get up. 

Craig went to the bathroom, feeling suspense now that it was almost time for his plan to come to full fruition. He gave Tweek a kiss as they passed in the hallway and returned to the bedroom.

He took a moment to really look at the lego creation. It was a city block, with a pet shop, cafe, and living space. Three of Tweek’s favourite things in one creation. He shook his head, he was getting distracted.

Focused on his mission, he opened the closet door and looked inside the small space.

He was surprised, not at the fact that indeed, both of his sweatshirts were in there, but at how many other articles of his clothing were there as well. Shirts in particular, but there were a few pairs of pants hidden around too, most likely however from Craig himself throwing them in a random place. He suspected there was more too, just not as organised as the ones he found. He smiled a little thinking about why Tweek had stolen the clothes in the first place.

Craig moved to the bed, taking his shirt off and tossing it off somewhere off to the side and laid himself on his side of the bed. He listened to the running water in the other room, the soft humming coming for a beautiful angel, and the wind gently blowing against the windows. If he hadn’t been at the end of a mystery he may have fallen asleep.

Tweek kept to his word, soon coming into the bedroom wearing a shirt that hung loosely off his body (perhaps because it belonged to Craig). His hair was drooping downwards and sticking to his face due to the water. Craig reconsidered his opinion that Tweek was an angel. He thought he was a god in disguise now.

“Craig, I thought you would have fallen asleep,” Tweek yawned. He wouldn’t normally be tired, thanks to all the caffeine in his system. With Craig, however, he didn’t feel as stressed or the urge to drink (as much) coffee. His addiction to caffeine was wearing off but in turn, he was picking up a new one.

At least the new one didn’t cost anything and was much more pleasing in his opinion.

“Nah, I told you I would wait for you.” Tweek chuckled quietly.

“You can’t control sleep, dear,” he smiled. Craig smiled back and pushed himself off the bed.

“I can try. Also, that shirt looks familiar for some reason.” Tweek looked down at the white shirt that was now slightly sliding off his shoulder and back to Craig.

“Yeah, I found it on the floor over there. I think someone lost it in here somehow,” Tweek teased. Craig couldn’t keep his smile from growing but shook his head gently. He moved past Tweek and opened the closet. He gestured slightly to the stash of his clothing and crossed his arms.

“You know, I’ve been looking for these,” Craig pointed at his sweatshirts dangling from hangers. “I need at least one of them.”

“Well, I need one too for when I’m trapped in this hell hole,” Tweek huffed, crossing his arms. 

“I need one too so I don’t fucking freeze to death Tweek.” Tweek made a few small sounds and one of his hands moved to pull at his hair. Craig took a few quick steps forward and took his hands to keep them from doing any damage to those golden locks.

“You can’t freeze to death, what would I do?” Tweek twitched slightly and Craig sighed.

“I meant it as an expression, babe. I would never leave you,” Craig said softly.

“You better not, asshole.” Craig laughed.

“Nice to know you love me. Now can I please have one of my sweatshirts? I don’t care about the rest of the stuff you stole.”

“No, you can take it tomorrow when we go to school. It’s time to sleep for fuck’s sake.” Tweek wriggled out of Craig’s grip and went to the bed, laying with his back against the wall. “Well? Are you coming?”

“Of course,” Craig snorted. He slid into the bed across from Tweek so their faces were only inches apart. He looked into those blue eyes that he so often found himself getting lost in and found himself absentmindedly wrapping his arms around Tweek and pulling him closer, earning a squeak from the boy.

Tweek flipped himself so instead of facing the room, he was now facing the wall. He pushed himself so he was flush against Craig and sighed in content. God, he loved cuddling.

There was nothing sexual in their closeness, instead it being love and trust. Tweek would never have his back to someone if they were alone in a room unless it was his partner, and even then they had to have a strong trust. Craig, in turn, would never allow himself to appear soft or even caring for that matter. Simply cold and distant. 

They had something special that almost no other couple in South Park had.

Hey! I already uploaded this onto Wattpad! My username is TheMangledSans0508! Check me out!

[readbyred]

Just a self-insert story

It's not romantic, it has some CharTed implications but nothing involving my s/i. It's just a vent, sort of, because well it's always nice to get it all out and have someone take my side (even if I'm not really in the right here).

What you need to know about my s/i is that she’s fairly new in the office and her name is R.J because I’m red and ‘J’ seemed to sound the best in there so her middle name is Julie now.

The story is long and was written as a dialogue-stylised vent. The rest was written after I finished and the quality varies. Also there is cursing and a sappy, probably rushed ending. I hope it's not that ooc but you know how it is.

Julie rarely came out to the balcony unless she needed something from a friend of hers. Today was one of those days so when she realized that Charlotte was nowhere near in sight she made her way out. What she didn't expect was to see Ted standing there with her, also smoking. He rarely did, mostly he would just lock himself in his office and do whatever.

The two weren't talking, being completely honest Julie had realized some time before, that something must have shifted, when she first came into work they seemed pretty close but lately they distance themselves from each other. For a moment she paused unsure if she should touch on the subject that was the reason of her talk around their coworker but in the end she approached them anyways.

“Could we talk for a moment?” she leaned over standing between them and looking at the road beneath.

“Oh sure! Here or...?” Charlotte threw a quick glance at the man behind Julie who not so discretely began showing signs of interest in whatever the topic of the conversation was.

“Yeah it’s no secret. I just want to get something off my chest. It's about Adam” she said his name quietly in a suvgestive tone, as if she tried to censor herself although the three of them were the only ones around.

“What is it? I must warn you I'm not good at advice, but I’ll still listen if you want me to” giving her a weak smile the woman waited.

“We’ve been going out lately. You know how it is” Ted now fully turned his head towards them not hiding that he was in fact listening but Red didn't notice still looking at the cars passing by.

“That engineer guy? Aww, congratulations!” feeling a hand on her shoulder Julie looked up but the smile she gave Charlotte wasn't sincere, it was just tired.

“Oh, thank you it's just... Oh well no need to get all sappy, I know, but I can't help but feel some sort of way about it” she shook her head at her visibly concerned friend ” Don't get me wrong he’s lovely! I'm just being silly”

“Well, I could help you, I have some experience in relationships-”

“Yeah, lots of it...” Ted started bitterly walking up to the two talking women “Anyways, yeah sure tell us about your perfect, dream guy. What problems could you have if he’s so great”

“Ted-” Charlotte shot him a look.

“Unless he’s not. Didn't you say he went out for a ‘business meeting’ again?”

“Yeah, about that...” Julie looked down.

“What about it?” Charlotte turned her attention away from their coworker yet again.

“So” Julie began “I don't know what we are, it's all complicated lately”

“Oh I'm sorry to hear that, I've been through rough times with my Sam and I could help you some or recommend a professional?” as soon as Charlotte said the word ‘professional’ Ted opened his mouth say something but quickly shut it.

“I appreciate that but I'm afraid it's far beyond just rough. He’s great! Things are just getting bizarre. I mean we haven't been properly dating since last year before I came to work here, you know? He was so thoughtful and, oh, so charming and goodness gracious, I was awful. I broke things off” her mood shifted from nervous to upset, fiddling with her hands she continued to intensely observe the cars passing by “He didn't take that well, I can't blame him cause I know I shouldn't have done it. He was sad a lot and it made him so... Angry at times, at our mutual friends and all. He told me he doesn't wanna see me, to get out of his life. We’ve known each other since diapers, I know I deserved everything he said it just... Hurt, you know? Oh how selfish I must sound!”

“But you two are still talking aren't you? So it all must have been fixed?” Charlotte offered her a smile “Me and my husband don't argue that openly, I think, so I might not be able to relate here but if you’ll tell us more I'm sure we can figure something out”

“Really thank you. Both of you. Here I am taking away your lunch break with all my silly ramblings” shaking her head a bit she gave both of them the same sad smile she had before. It was then when they noticed she seemed to have shrunken in herself, not only tired but also strangely worried.

“No problem, it's not a big deal I'm sure” her coworker tried to reassure glancing up “Right?”

“Yeah, yeah could you just move on with the story?” it seemed like it took all his inner strength for Ted not to leave although neither of the women understood why would that be. Charlotte knew he was like that sometimes, when she tried to talk about Sam with him it went pretty similar. That didn't mean however she understood more of it than Julie did “You broke up. He started acting like a jerk”

“Oh he didn't, I had no right to hurt him like that! And he’s not a jerk, far from it. He’s so thoughtful, so protective. Everyone I know wants nothing more for us than to be together. You know how I am... I get a lot of silly ideas, I can get pretty nasty, that you probably noticed. Adam doesn't like that one bit, I embarrass him a whole lot doing things without asking and all that. My friends noticed that too, they say I'm much more pleasant when I'm with him, he tames me, if you will. I know I give him a lot of crap for that, sometimes I feel like I either agree with him or am just wrong and he doesn't take my suggestions to heart but we talked recently, this weekend actually, he made me realize that I need improvement and-” she didn't look neither of her colleagues in the eye. Charlotte understood, she got nervous like that too and decided to give the redhead some space “here I go ranting about details again don't I? Oh, well, on with the story you say? Well, he stopped talking - I was a wreck. But gradually - when he came back from his business trip after summer - I saw him around Beanies a lot. Always on my lunch break, you know? And we got to talking and he asked what are we. I was surprised, I told him that we’re no longer together, he asked how so and one thing led to another he said it was just a break! I was... Surprised? But it was so nice to see him so happy. And Zoe told me to get him back, then. And I was so awful - I told her I don't want to live like that anymore. With him. But luckily we didn't stop hanging out, me and Adam that is. At first I was grossed out to be treated as such, afterall I said I want to be single. But he kept on pushing and that way around December we sort of got back”

“Why didn't you tell us that, congratulations!” Charlotte’s weak cheer brought a small smile on Julie’s face but it soon vanished when the other one of her two friends spoke up.

“Yeah, congratulations for dating a pushy asshole-” Ted paused frowning even more as if he said something wrong “...you could do better than that”

He turned to leave frustrated with Julie.

“Please stay” Julie fully turned from the railing and gave him a pleasing look “I... I'll get to the end soon, I want your perspective on that as well”

“Ugh fine... Just don't expect me to take this douchebag’s side”

“It’s nice to get to hear your opinion as well. As selfish as it sounds I think like that too sometimes, it's... Refreshing not to be in the wrong all the time even if I am” shaking her head she changed the subject “Oh, right! As I was saying. We had a talk then and he asked me what would I do if he started seeing someone. After all if I don't consider us a pair then he may. I told him that I'm fine with that, after all I started this mess, can't blame him if him for getting lonely. And I'm not a saint you see. Goodness gracious don't give my that look Char, I never cheated! I just... Going on and off Tinder, just chatting. It never got any further I swear, I felt so terrible. Anyways, after he told me that he got very... Touchy. And romantic. And I know I ruined the mood but after a few hours, I asked what are we. And he said he could take me back. And no matter how awful I sound I need to admit as wonderful as he is I don't think I want it. And I told him that I want to focus on work”

“But you don't?” it wasn't a secret that R.J wasn't avoiding relationships, not to the point of denying one in favour of work.

“But I don't. I know he’s amazing but I’m not happy. I‘ trying but I'm not. So I said that it’s because of work, I don't know what would he do if I told him the truth! And he didn't really get the work thing either, he’s the traditionalistic type. But! He said he shouldn't have told me about the other woman which is good I think” she bit her lip seemingly gaining a bit of life back “But what is that supposed to mean? That she’s just a concept he’s been contemplating or a human but I shouldn't know? I don't know... Anyways I asked him about what he wants. He’ll take some time to think and for now we agreed I can be sort of his... With him that is. Not that he has to call me his girlfriend. He just can get me places and I don't date or make him jealous with my make friends and stuff”

And with that Julie finished realizing just then that her hands were shaking a bit. It often happened in situations like that, stressing ones like opening up.

“Um, it does sound complicated. I might have to look for the contacts to get you set but you can make it work. I got this good therapist” Ted scoffed “he could give you some directions. Give me a minute and I’ll get back to you I'll forget about it if I’ll do that later, you know”

And with that she rushed out forgetting to get rid of the cigarette she was holding.

“You’ve been awfully quiet” gaining some of her cool back along with colour on her face, Julie leaned back cocking her head and looking at the man in front of her curiously.

“Why do you put up with this? Don't you see this guy’s a duchebag?” he asked frustrated “And don't try to tell me you love him, you said it’s not true”

“I don't. But he has to put up with me, it's a fair deal” she shrugged noticing him grow even more angry at the situation

“Well, I don't know?” he groaned “Maybe find someone who doesn't have to put up with you”

“Look, I-”

“Found it!” Charlotte came back holding her phone with a random phone number opened up on the screen

“Oh thank you a lot! Let me save it on the phone” soon she was done with the whole process “I won't hold you much longer, I'm sure you have work to do”

“Dont worry about it, a little break is always needed. Speaking of which want to go out with us after work? It's going to be Sylvia and Bill, me, Melissa and Ted. It's just for coffee, you know”

“I...” on Fridays she always hung out with Adam, even before things got messy. Looking back at Charlotte to give her phone back she paused. Maybe one day off wouldn't be so bad? “I will, it’s right after work?”

The woman nodded.

“Count me in then” opening the door she paused again, feeling much calmer and lighter after confiding in her coworkers “Oh and you’re finished, right Ted? I need to get you some papers, so stop by my desk, alright?”

“Seriously? Fuck Sylvia, I wash my hands! And besides it’s my office and my right to-”

She didn't hear what was that exactly that he had the right to do, closing the door and laughing to herself. And yes, maybe her love life was a mess but it didn't matter because it seemed that along with her new job she also found friends.

[rwmhunt]

Leviticus, Chapter 24

1. 'Lore', said Leviticus, With a legal pomp, dropp'd, As it was, so betaken unto him, From somewhere Within the rhyzome's matrix.

2. I mean, there's always going to be An equivalence isn't there? A kind whose cause is dead before They've ever been set to support it, And sometimes They may outweigh, with number Or else, with bluster, but still, Bound are they to be deracinated From the slow, Long, occidental logic of the rhyzome, And lads, never shall you turn out the lights That are burning outside of the tent of meaning.

3. And zoonotic disease prediction Relieth on surveillance and on a preparedness; Thus, a wise man chooseth to keep me to his forehead, When in regards, as all else, to the flux of the hypostasis. No, I didn't understand where that was coming from; again, sometimes It's only a miracle that a meaning falleth out of anything we think to say at all.

4. But, by lamp and by candlestick, My feelings about what I am reeling in Ring deftly clear as unto some inner ear, A place where there be of no self, and so, Are betokened of nothing, by that 'bell'.

5. It's pancake day, Set into an ad-hoc corps of medical supply manufacturers- The report called the self-organised effort Involving industrial-design students and teachers a “distributed factory”, which is fine.

6. Let the table so be dressed unto a matrix For the medical episode's 'hot cake' occasion, And shouldst the virus be mooted As 'mortality accelerant', as I know a man, grown Very old, and that the Open Wounde go thither- Where underpinning is a social contract, So ours is fraying and riven, yet Opportunistics, willing to spread empathy with the gathering hesitance, Have found a vertiginous excitement At reaching out to a wider audience; Then lo, that the virus hath gain'd Your blueprint for its future.

7. Frankincense, set Vaxxing unto a data vacuum, Selection pressure bringeth out The dangerous signature, Though afraid of opening Its own 'can of worms', Is thus brung unto with a flux.

8. Each sabbeth, for the covenant With a lot riding on the outcome- Try 'vaccinated at gunpoint;' So facts are being irrelevant.

9. Aaron and Sons eat on it in perpetuity, Deeming what I connive To be unnecessary, Even should it work, and thus, Is rendered doubtful and debtered; O entropy, my kilowatt hours, Everything ends up grift. And yet, the end is never that of risque, For, the other shoe is always about to drop.

10. An Israelitish Egyption, Whose name be prefixed with the classical standards, Who's vetted and found, numerous times, One way or tuther, to be A runaway youth with a mouth on him; So the taunted outsider Hath taunted back with some jibe at the god- I'll go further; I'll tell you what it was- - 'Bet your mamma screamed For big ol' Akhenaton.' - 'Yeah? well atleast big ol' Akh Knew a bit about imaginary gods.' The corollary was only e'er assumed, Though later, under oath, outlined as fact, For then, unto the nun of the stern order, To whom they'd run, that, 'madam, This is the real world, here; I am not one of your deferential flock, for here, We have the same power over each other; here, You're just a man to me.'

11. And the Israelitish woman's son Blasphemed the name of the lord; That his mother was a cleaning lady, And he was hauled up before Moses, Who noted how I focussed on His half-cast status, So as to pre-empt, Then negate it as a basis, For fie!, shouldst you think That it be, in some way, Racist.

12. And they put him to a ward, And all for a word agin the thin-skinned lord.

13. And the lord spake dunya unto Moses, Who otherwise didn't have a clue. LET'S GET WILD, All in caps, So that it went, as a spirit flashes, through the rhyzome, And brother, I'd never steer you wrong.

14. So god said take him out back And have him softened up with stones, And Mose thought this seemed reasonable enough, Because Moses was a fucking prick.

15. Then go and crowdsplain it, douchebag, So suffer your own precarity- If The whole congregation set forth on the lynching, You can call it false flag, without reproof, And how should I curse God whom he hath not cursed? For, how should he grant himself be so?

16. But as well the stranger as the local greengrocer Be lynched for a word at that Ejit god, the dulled idea of a lord; as drag The entire neighbourhood into culpability- And clear about that; For lo, so be it, as living with the rhyzome.

17. Thus, by that- murder, So fomenteth a capital crime, All shall wind up equal, With Kalil, an associate, Found here with Leviticus, And meaning 'entire'. To the congregation thus, 'Lord save me I perish.'

18. And he that killeth a beast shall make it good. For the agents of welfare– The workers who art on the frontline- So let it live on in infamy, A stain on the Open Wounde that can never, Never be washed away; The spirit of the radio take him.

19. If beast for a beast, So blemish for blemish, Lord save me I perish. All your ill-sympathy, Warn, deep in the mouth of god.

20. And breach for breach, Eye eye, tooth tooth, And then the unseen viral threat; For I've been careful; course I have, You believe me. Again. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, Unless it does.

21. So that's A dead beast to be restored, A dead man's killer killed, But don't go raising men again; The congregation, as a quorum, Is a reaction, is a reason, Is aware and also watching; Isn't what you would call human, With christ's rood harrowing, The sought-for Faithless electors' Chronic activation of Systemic inflammation as Fretting at the Open Wounde; An immune system overreacteth In what is called a cytokine storm.

22. Law to strangers and locals Alike, I keep protesting, for it's me; That we would make vulnerabilities In the rhyzome to leave opportunity For a vessel that can sail into view, And carry you the sheol out of here; As ariseth in moments of crisis, by Influence and anxiety; go then, Rere Ward.

23. So Moses spake unto the kids, saying, That they should murder a man At his word, with- - 'Be there; For I wager- t'will be wild!' And they were; And it was; And they did. Don't look- O, WikiHow, how might I curse the lord, So that he should knock me down?

Lo, and his words became their actions.