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renjunphile · 5 months

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for the rest of ours ᡣ𐭩 song eunseok

୨♡୧ WORD COUNT: 13.4k ୨♡୧ PAIRING: riize's song eunseok x female!reader ୨♡୧ TAGS & WARNINGS: chaebol heirs!au, rich kids!au, one sided enemies to lovers!au, arranged marriage!au, angsty at the start, overall fluff, reader is selfish and mean to eunseok for a good chunk of the story, brief unrequited love but y/n is an unreliable narrator tbh, second chance romance, she fell first but he fell harder trope, drinking, partying, non linear narrative

୨♡୧ SYNOPSIS: you find song eunseok to be utterly and despicably insufferable. too bad he's your fiancé since birth! and there was nothing you could do about it!

୨♡୧ NOTES: OHHHH im having such an intense eunseok rot that i had to write the most gut wrenching and nonsensical piece that becomes to sickeningly fluffy at the end. theyre just so in love with each other and there's literally no plot at all!!!!!!!!!!! lowkey one of the worst pieces i've written in recent times since i rushed it but i will edit and add scenes and plot in the future :> but for now, enjoy! ♡ i.b let my by zayn at the end :)

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

It may be disturbing for some and horrifying to say, but your eyes hadn't even fully formed in the womb to open and your limbs weren't even well defined enough to have joints when your life was signed off to another's. For goodness' sake, it had barely even been a month since your tiny, minuscule heart started beating! What would the Song's have done if you grew up ugly?

You sighed to yourself, muttering under your breath how Korea's third richest family should be grateful you were akin to art in anyone's eyes. You were looking through the dusty photo albums that the housekeeper found while tidying the primary study of the mansion, and you grimaced at the photos of your fiancé that appeared from even the very first page.

It was bad enough that you were engaged before you were born, but did he really have to attend your birth? He probably didn't even have memories then! But there it was, under your fingertips: a perfectly preserved photo of a 3-month old Eunseok bundled up in sleep suit being posed next to where the nurses placed you after they literally just took you out of your mother. You don't even think the umbilical cord had been cut yet.

"Y/N, Mr. Song is outside," your favourite housekeeper coos at you from the double doors going into the study. You give her a terse smile and stand up from your father's office chair, straightening your silk gown before taking her hand as she helped you down the marble stairs of your home.

You roll your eyes (mostly to yourself, but you didn't mind if he noticed) as you saw his car parked at the bottom of the stairs leading to your front door.

"You can't even be bothered to come and collect me? Or open the door for me?" you sneer as soon as you settled yourself into the passenger seat.

"Well hello to you too, my lovely wife," Eunseok smirks, immediately revving and setting off around the fountain of your courtyard.

"I'm not your wife," you snap, deciding to ignore when the word 'yet' seems to slip under his breath, "But seriously Eunseok? This car? I'm going to look so stupid trying to get out of this car in my dress and heels. Why do you love sitting on the floor so much?"

Eunseok has an extensive car range. One that any car junkie would envy, but Song Eunseok knew nothing about cars. He just had them because he could. This car was a sports car where you had to sit in such a ridiculous position just so the car could look cool on the outside.

"It's white!" he defends himself, slightly whining in a cute way to which you swallow down a positive reaction. His eyes flicker over to you momentarily and his tongue traces across his bottom lip, "You look gorgeous, by the way. Very bridal."

You're wearing a white silk dress that looks like it's made for your body. It's draped so beautifully around your hips and hugs every part that needs to be accentuated. You loved this dress the second you saw it in Paris, but you never thought then that it would be used for this occasion.

"Just shut up and drive," you quip. It takes a few moments of silence for you to feel bad even though his expression remains neutral and you sigh, "I guess you don't look too bad."

"Aw, I knew you were in love with me!" he teases again, a phrase he liked to use every time you said something to him that wasn't snarky, sarcastic or an insult.

You choose not to reply, instead taking in the bright lights of Seoul as he pulls into a main road. You haven't been back in a while, holing yourself up in your penthouse in Manhattan, but you always loved the sight of home.

"But seriously, Y/N," Eunseok coughs to get your attention, his voice dropping down low and suddenly serious, "This actually might be your last chance to back out of this. Just say the word and I'll turn this car around and take you straight to Incheon and you can run away around the world long enough until they find me a new bride."

You turn to look at him, perplexed by his words, "And you? You actually want to get hitched off to some random?"

Eunseok shrugs, not meeting your eyes, "You're not some random. I've known you since you were born. I've known you'd be my wife since the day I could understand what that meant. But if I have to find a replacement because you don't want to do it anymore, I will."

"Gee, ever the gentleman," you deadpan, "I think want is a pretty strong word. I don't want to marry you, but I guess I will."

"You're not backing out? Not leaving me looking stupid up on the altar?" Eunseok taps his finger on the leather steering wheel.

You think about his words sincerely. There's really nothing more in the world that you'd love than to run away to a small little town on the southern coast of Italy- somewhere quaint and quiet where you'd find love and spend the rest of your days cooking, cleaning, baking and finding peace in the ocean. There's nothing more in the world that you want more than for someone to ask to marry you because they were in love with your soul and not having you by their side would be like torture in the cruelest form.

Alas, you're Kang Y/N of the powerful Kang family, the eldest child of your father and the next heir waiting to take over the conglomerate. And because you're Kang Y/N, the eldest daughter of the second richest family in Korea, you were contracted to marry the first son of the third richest family in Korea. After that, your companies would merge and you would overtake the Kim's as the sole ruler of the country.

"It's my duty," you swallow nervously as you begin to recognise the streets of where you were driving, signalling that you were soon approaching the venue, "It's fine, Eunseok."

"I wish it wasn't just fine. I wish this was what you wanted." he breathes out and your heart stops beating for a second before anger seeps in through the cracks of your heart.

"Do you think it's any girl's dream to marry someone that doesn't love them?"

Eunseok sighs as he presses on the breaks, moving through the lifted barrier where they had closed a portion of the street in anticipation for his car and your arrival. He twists his body to look at you, "Y/N-"

"It's fine, Eunseok," you grit your teeth as you repeat your words, eyes trained on the paparazzi camped out on the steps of the venue, eager to get a glimpse of you, "Let's just get this engagement party over with."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

Song Eunseok had to follow you around the world like a lost puppy.

When you said that you wanted to go to that boarding school in Switzerland where only the richest sent their kids, Eunseok was in the seat next to you on that first class flight. When you said that you were going to Oxford to study for your undergraduate degree, Eunseok was tossing away his dream to study at Harvard to join you getting drunk at 18 under the grey British sky. When you said that you wanted to do your masters at Columbia so you could live in New York City, Eunseok was moving into the apartment across yours while he worked at the company his dad created in New York just for him to have something to do there.

If you said jump, Eunseok had to say how high?

That was just the name of the game considering the Song's had more to gain from this arrangement. Your family was richer. Your family was in a greater range of industries. Your family's money went back a lot further than the Song's. And you- you were the most stunning woman in Eunseok's eyes and because of him, you were stripped of your choice to fall in love. That's why the Song family gave you princess treatment from the second you were able to demand things.

You had protested until your vocal cords went raw when they found out that they were sending Eunseok to university with you. For years up until you turned 18, you had imagined finally getting away from Eunseok for once, even if just for 3 years. He had always talked about Harvard and with the grades to boot, you thought that you'd finally have an ocean separating you.

It certainly wasn't an easy fight at the airport as you threatened to drop out of university the second that you even stepped foot into the new country. All your father did was bat his eyelashes and give you a heartfelt, "Please, princess? Just do this for us."

The phrase 'just do this for us' nearly knocked you sick nowadays after over 2 decades of hearing it spew out of your father's mouth. Ultimately, yes, you were lucky to have such a loving family that never pushed anything evil or truly despicable onto you. This was the one thing they needed from you. They obliged every want and wish for the trade-off of giving your hand in marriage to the Song's first born son.

In June of your third year of university, a couple months out from your graduation, Eunseok turned up at your door completely drunk.

"What are you doing here?" your arms were crossed tightly, trying to cover as much of yourself as possible as you were clad in the smallest pyjamas for the British summer heat.

He grinned goofily up at you, eyes lazily fluttering open and closed, "Hi, Y/N. I'm drunk." He was leaning against the doorway, nearly making out with the frame.

"I can see that," you sniffed the air and grimaced, "And smell it. But what are you doing here?"

"Can't I visit my lovely fiancée on her 21st birthday?" he batted his long eyelashes sweetly at you, taking one step into the apartment. You gazed at him hesitantly, taking one step back.

"I don't think anyone would appreciate their fiancé turning up on their doorstep piss drunk at 2am," you spat, "If you truly wanted to wish me a happy birthday, you would have left me alone."

"I lost my keys," Eunseok groaned, "I didn't know where else to go."

It should be sweet that out of all the places he could have chosen to go to in the city, he went to yours. Instead, it made you feel angrier.

"Eunseok, stop bothering me," your words contrasted your actions as you pulled him into your apartment and locked the door behind him, "Go sleep in the spare bedroom and leave as soon as you wake up. I'm going out for breakfast with my friends tomorrow so lock the door behind you and keep the key with you 'til you see me next." You pulled the spare key out of the drawer and placed it in his pocket.

Like a pathetic dog, Eunseok followed behind you as you led him through the apartment your parents had bought for you.

"Can I sleep with you?" he murmured.

"In your dreams, Song," you retorted, stopping in front of the spare room door, "Plus, you stink like shit."

"Ah, it's okay," he sighed dreamily, resting his head against the door, "We have the rest of forever to sleep beside each other."

You let out a frustrated screech, shoving his chest, "Can you let me live in peace? Why do you have to keep reminding me?"

"In the hopes that one day the thought of it won't make you sick or angry," he replied, opening the door of the room.

Your strong gaze faltered, "What are you- in love with me?"

"No," Eunseok shook his head, "I could learn to though, if you wanted me to."

"The only thing I want from you is to be far away from me," you ran your hands through your hair to soothe yourself, "And even that you can't do."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. Thanks for letting me stay," Eunseok gave up on his tyranny and dropped his voice, "Happy birthday."

You muster up a near half-smile, turning to return to your bed where you'd be tossing and turning until your alarm went off, "Goodnight Eunseok."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

The worst thing about your arrangement with Eunseok was that it was kept secret.

Of course, it was an open secret in your families and to the company- and there were always rumours about it since you two ended up always together around the world. But it wasn't like it was announced to the world at any point to protect the prospective merger happening when you and Eunseok came of age.

That made relationships very hard indeed. It always had to end in heartbreak, at least for the other person.

The two of you agreed that you could see other people if you wanted to, and you agreed on this the same day you had your very first heartbreak.

"Eunseok, can we talk?" you poked his side to catch his attention. Eunseok was bouncing his basketball up and down while he spoke with his friends just outside the school courts. It had been 2 months since you moved back to Korea after spending 3 years in Switzerland at boarding school, where you quickly became homesick. Eunseok followed you home immediately.

Your fiancé bid his friends goodbye and gave you a sweet smile, "Yeah of course. What's up?"

You led him to the adjacent square that was thankfully deserted and settled just under the bloomed cherry blossom tree in the middle, "Um."

Eunseok giggled at your hesitancy and pushed your hair behind your ear, "What is it?"

16 year old you blushed terrifically at that moment, highlighting your plump cheeks and shining eyes as Eunseok peered down at you.

"I know this is um, pretty stupid," you began, breaking his stare and looking down at your Prada loafers, "Well basically, my friend Jimin- you know Jimin?- she told me to-"

"Just say it, Y/N."

"I like you?"

It came out more of a question as you quirked your eyebrow up at your fiancé.

His eyes went wide, taking in a deep breath, "Y/N. You," he paused, "You like me?"

"Yeah," you exhaled, "Is that so bad? We're going to get married someday."

Eunseok looked around and noticed his friends turning the corner to the courtyard, presumably to look for him, "Look, Y/N, I'm sorry but I thought we were going to, you know, try experience life like how others do and meet people and do whatever we want to until they tell us we need to get married. I didn't think we were obliged to date."

Your eyes began to water and your lips began to quiver as sheer embarrassment sunk into your bones, "So what? You want to date around?"

Eunseok reached out to cup your face but you quickly took a step back, feeling humiliated and slightly bettayed, "I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't know you felt like this towards me. Look, can we talk later? I'll swing by your house after basketball practice, okay?"

From the ages of 0-16, you would say that you and Eunseok were close childhood friends. Even though you had no concept of marriage or love, your parents had forced the two of you to be together through every occasion with weekly play dates and attending the same schools. When you finally understood what being engaged to each other meant at around 12 years old, it made you swoon that you were going to spend the rest of your life with your best friend, who you'd always found endearingly cute. He became more handsome as the years went by and at 16, he was the object of all of your desires.

He was manly, he was protective, he was sporty and most of all, he treated you so well. He would run around town with you no question to go shopping and indulge you in all of your cravings even if you needed to have ice cream at 10pm in the dead of winter. He would take the train with you all around Switzerland to see different lakes and ski resorts. He would help you study in the library and pass you your favourite snacks whenever it seemed you were getting tired. He would give you his jacket on the breezy nights watching the local sports matches.

You were so blinded with your affection towards him that you had convinced yourself that he did those things because he liked you back. Because he wanted to treat his future wife well.

The day Eunseok stamped all over your little heart was the day you waged a one-sided war against him. Eventually, Eunseok began reciprocating your snarky attitude and the rest had been history.

You told your maids and house security to refuse entry to the grounds to Eunseok that night, but because of your parents' unconditional offer to Eunseok to make your house also his home, he had spent a good part of the night on the other side of your bedroom door trying to get you to open it so he could apologise. For a man you were once smitten for, it was easy to put on your headphones and drown him out until he got exhausted and left.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

Eunseok opens the car door for you and offers out his hand. In the darkness of his car, you grimace slightly, but force yourself to take his hand and use your free hand to smooth your dress out as you exit the car. The flashes from the press are blinding and carry on all the way up to the bottom of the staircase leading into the venue your parents had hired for the evening.

You try to keep a pleasant smile on your face as Eunseok passes his keys to the valet men before wrapping his arms around your waist. It comes nearly naturally to him, from all the photos your parents had made you pose together in dating back a decade or two. But it's your first official public appearance together, so the flashes intensify and you're taken aback. Eunseok feels you stumble slightly and begins to lead you along the carpet rolled out up to the stairs.

There's shouting from every direction- asking where your dress was from, asking if you were dating, asking why you were with the 'rival' company's son all the time- nothing new to you. After you traverse up the stairs, the two of you turn around and give a small wave at the cameras. You feel Eunseok drop his head down to yours, so you nestle yourself into him a bit more. How sweet, you thought to yourself, pushing down the urge to throw up at all this fakeness.

"Last chance to run," Eunseok murmurs as the doorman opens the glass doors into the foyer.

"Are you begging me to?" you counter, "Why do you keep insisting I back out?"

"I'm not. I just feel guilty, so I'll make up a solution if you want to stop all of this," he whispers into your ear. To others, it's an endearing moment as you keep your face neutral.

"It is all your fault. You should feel guilty. I'm not doing this for you or your family, but for my family. If this is what they want, then I'll oblige," you nod your head firmly.

While Eunseok's family was definitely benefiting more from the merger, it did come with some advantages for your family too: less competition in the market, combined success superseding the current top conglomerate, and for your parents: the knowledge that their first born child was going to have someone that was born to and raised from a good and rich family- someone that would be able to take care of you no matter what and understand your life in a way no other civilian could.

You know that your parents' argument for you to marry this guy was weak- there were plenty of good, rich guys from other companies- but you had been happy with the arrangement at the start and by the time you were 16 and he was breaking your heart, the companies had already started slowly merging or putting the plans into place. It was honestly a shame to your parents that other than rejecting you, Eunseok really had no faults. He was always polite, always courteous and intelligent enough to take over the conglomerate with you when the time would come.

Eunseok drops his arm from your waist, instead sliding his finger between yours.

"Miss. Y/L/N, Mr. Song," your family's general assistant approaches you in the foyer with a tight smile, "The event is about to begin. Please follow me to the stage. Are your speeches prepared?"

"Mhm," you hum, tugging Eunseok with you behind your assistant, "The rest of the family are here?"

"Yes. They're waiting by the stage," she replies as nerves finally settle into your stomach. You suddenly can't even look at Eunseok anymore as the gravity of the situation clicks into your mind. After this, you were going to be officially engaged in front of the world and you were going to be his bride in no less than a year from now. There was no turning back anymore.

Eunseok has to shoot you a look to stop you shaking on the stage as your father and his begin their speeches about their company, and the new era and blah, blah, blah. You tune them out in order to focus on your breathing and make sure you don't barf the second you step up to the podium. After minutes of nonsense, you feel Eunseok place his hand on the small of your back, signalling you to take to the stand.

"Um," you began, suddenly losing all the lessons you had learned in your public speaking classes growing up, "Thank you all for joining us on this occassion. As my father said, we are transitioning into a new era of our company and as I take on the role of COO, we believe it's important to have good people by your side to support you. While my family and the Songs are joining together in business, we are also joining together in family," you look over at Eunseok, who gives you a reassuring nod, "Song Eunseok and I are to be wed in one year's time. We have been close friends and partners since we were born and I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be by my side. We can go into this business partnership fully trusting each other and our companies and we would be grateful if you could give us your support. Thank you."

You step away from the podiums as gasps ring through the crowd. The business venture was nearly an open secret in the industry, but your relationship with Eunseok was based on rumours only, having never confirmed it. Now that you have, it would stir up all these new rumours- were you only getting married for the merger? Did you two actually love each other? What about all the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes that had been conniving to get even a bit of your or Eunseok's time to beg for your hand in marriage?

Eunseok takes his place beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist again as your families smile together for the pictures. The engagement party also doubled as a celebration for the merger, so at least all of the spotlight wasn't on you.

You're glad that your friends are here. They're all business heirs too, since like attracted like at your school. Your best friend Minjeong attacks you with a hug the second you step down from the stage.

"Ah, my best friend is getting married," she sighs dreamily into your ear, "You know what, Y/N, at least he's handsome. It's harder to hate someone when they look that good."

"Then you marry him," you chide, half-joking, "The problem has never been his looks. It's the situation."

"He doesn't hate you half as much as you hate him," Minjeong tuts, "And he's in the same situation. He never got a choice either."

You know deep down that she's right, but you're committed to making his life hell until the ends of the earth for breaking your heart. If anyone could say anything about you, it was that you could hold a grudge.

"Whose side are you on?" you prod her arm, but she rolls her eyes and links arms with you to join Eunseok and his friends.

"Happy engagement, lovebirds," Sungchan greets you with two kisses on your cheeks, "So excited to be at your wedding."

"I'm sitting you at the back," you retort, sticking your tongue out. You hated that Eunseok's friends were genuinely nice and funny people. It was so hard to distance yourself from Eunseok when your friendship groups had been deeply intertwined since you all could walk.

"Not when I'm a groomsman, right Eunseok-ie?" Sungchan swings his arm around his friend's shoulder, pulling him close, "Now tell me, who's the best man?"

Eunseok shoves his arm off, "You can just draw straws for it."

"I'll be the best man, hyung," Seunghan grins cheekily, "I'll make sure to give a really good speech, okay?"

"It's almost as if it's a real wedding," you smile bitterly, "Jeong, you'll be my maid of honour right?"

"You have to ask me properly," Minjeong whines, "We're going to do this wedding right, okay? My best friend will only get married once. I'm not letting you let your wedding planner do everything; we've been planning our dream weddings since we were 10 so we'll do it according to that."

"C'mon Y/N," Wonbin bumps his shoulder with yours, "We can make it fun. We know you'd rather not marry hyung, but he had always been the groom in all the weddings you'd plan when you were young. Now it's like a dream come true."

"Yah, Park Wonbin," Eunseok grits his teeth at his friend for bringing up the past. You wince at the reminder as Minjeong slaps his arm.

"Y/N, I think your mother is calling over you and Eunseok to dance," Shotaro calls for you softly, and you turn around to see your mother desperately signalling to you to join her on the dance floor.

"I'll see you guys later," you bid your friends a goodbye as you follow Eunseok into the crowd.

The night crawls by. It's nearly painful as you fake a smile with every passerby and acquaintance who congratulates you for your engagement. It feels like you're getting stabbed in the heart over and over again as everyone coos over how in love the two of you seem and how they always knew you were going to end up together. It crushes you as Eunseok leans down to your ear while you dance, apologising for how this was your life.

You get into his car after the party. The ride home is silent, apart from the noise of the city around you that seeps in even through the rolled up windows. Eunseok won't even dare breathe too loud in fear of making your life even less like what you had dreamed it to be.

He pulls up to your house and you make a quick move to unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door in one motion, but Eunseok wraps his hand around your wrist gently, bringing you back down.

"What is it now, Song?" you sigh in frustration, closing your eyes in defeat.

"I know this night has made your hatred for me 10 times worse," Eunseok begins, shuffling in his seat to reach into his inside pocket, "And I know that what we have isn't real to you, but I thought you at least deserved this."

Your eyes flutter open and you look over to him. He uncurls his clenched hand, unveiling a shiny ring in the middle of his palm. You bite back the gasp that bubbles up through your throat, and you reluctantly take the ring between your fingers without looking at him.

It's exactly your dream ring. It's what you imagined the love of your life to propose with when you were younger. It's what you wanted to be someone's physical manifestation of their love and devotion to you. That makes it all the worse when it comes from Eunseok.

"I remembered," Eunseok reads your mind, "When we went ring shopping when we were young for fun because you wanted to make sure I would propose with the right ring. I hope it's still what you want."

You can't bear to look at Eunseok at all, so you clench the ring in your hand and open the door, "Goodnight Eunseok. Thank you. Get home safely."

There's 100 steps between your front door and your bedroom. It takes what's left of your energy to hold back the sobs that threaten to escape prematurely. As soon as your bedroom door clicks shut, you collapse against your floor and break down in tears.

Why did Song Eunseok have to be such a good man? Why did you have to hate him? He was yours now, and that was what younger you wanted all along. Why were you taking it out on him? You had been holding onto a grudge for so long and he had been trying to make amends in private ever since, despite going along with your whole enemies thing for his own fun.

You hated how you knew that Song Eunseok could and would give you the life you wanted. You hated how all you wanted to do was love him like it was your choice and for him to love you back like it was his. But in this world, you were privileged enough to have everything you ever wanted, aside from the choice to love whoever you wanted to.

You hated how you didn't even have a choice in loving someone who didn't love you back.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

You fought with Eunseok nearly every time that you saw him through your university years. You found problems in the way he positioned himself too close to you and problems in the way he would distance himself and act like strangers when you did complain about that. You found problems in the way he didn't talk to other girls despite rejecting you and found problems when he would go on dates after you said that.

In short, Song Eunseok was a problem to you.

Yizhuo was forcing shots into your hands and demanding that you downed them with her as you tried to tune back in to the party going on around you. You couldn't think of anything else the second that Song Eunseok walked through the door arm in arm with some girl.

It was the last party of your undergraduate university days, since exams had finished and you were going to graduate in just a couple of weeks. Someone had rented out some kind of manor in the outskirts of Oxford, dedicated for everyone to stay at and party for a weekend. You knew the organiser through a friend of a friend, but everyone that had been invited was someone you either knew personally or knew of. The spoilt brats community at your university was large, but tight.

You obliged Yizhuo's request and bitterly downed the drink, hissing as it burned through your tracts, "What is this? It tastes disgusting."

"Alcohol isn't made to taste nice," she tutted at you, following your line of sight before sighing, "I guess it's time to get you more so you don't have to be sober looking at that."

Minjeong shook her head on the other side of you, "I can't believe he would bring someone here. He knew you'd be here. So disrespectful."

You saw that Eunseok was about to turn, so you quickly spin away in order to avoid eye contact, "It doesn't matter to me. We're not dating."

"But he's your fiancé," Yizhuo stomped in defiance, "He should have some respect for you."

"Since he didn't want to date me, i'd rather him date other people. Then it just looks like he rejected me because he didn't like me as a person," you affirmed, taking another shot with Minjeong.

"Y/N, please. You were 16 when you confessed and 16 year old boys don't have the most mature outlook on life," Minjeong argued, coughing after the bitter shot, "I'm sure he's not stupid anymore. You grew up hot and he's practically tripping over his own feet trying to chase after you."

"He's not chasing me," you scoffed, "He brought a girl here."

"Oh, you're impossible, Y/N," Yizhuo cried out, beginning to slur, "What do you actually want that poor boy to do? Even I would be confused with the way you act."

Your best friends have been trying to knock sense into you since you turned 18 and Eunseok gave up his dream to study at Harvard to be with you in England. They had claimed that Eunseok realised his feelings for you and wanted to make up for rejecting you. You claimed that if that was his intention, he would have told you that by now instead of pestering you by inserting himself into your new life without reason.

"He can do whatever he wants," you turned your nose up, "I don't care about him."

"Well you better act that way. He's coming," Minjeong warned you, suddenly disappearing with Yizhuo and leaving you stranded with your fiancé walking towards you.

It honestly felt like the grim reaper floating over in slow motion before he came to collect your soul. You fought hard to control the grimace on your face as he stopped in front of you.

"Y/N," he greeted softly, leaning in to give you a hug. You stood still, but you don't push him away. You ignored the way your heart skipped a beat when he pressed his cheek gently against the top of your head.

"Eunseok,"

"How were exams? You're graduating this year, right?" his head is tilted at you, eyes focused into yours.

"Why are you even asking? I'm sure you know my plans for the next 10 years considering you're still following me around," you scoffed, "Does your new girl know you're moving to New York after graduation so you can stalk me while I do my masters?"

"Are you jealous?" he smirked suddenly, gentle demeanour disappearing, "She's just a friend."

"Does she know that? I don't care what you do, Song. I just feel bad for the poor girl whose heart you're going to break when you tell her you're engaged," you feigned nonchalance, pouring yourself another shot, "I guess it's my fault for telling you to have your fun and experience things since apparently you'll be so devoid of love when you get married."

"Y/N," he trailed off, grabbing the soju bottle that had appeared in your hands, "You know it's not like that. I didn't mean it like that when I reject-"

"Save it, Song," you rolled your eyes, "Your girl is coming. Don't go blaming me when time comes to break her heart."

You turned away in time and managed to snatch back your alcohol before arms wrap around Eunseok's and a high pitch voice squeals to him about how she lost him. You find Sungchan somewhere in the crowd and convince him to call you a taxi to take you back into the town where your apartment was. Before he could even confirm the booking, you had already disappeared into the crowd, the shots you had taken truly seeping into your blood and making your head spin.

You don't really remember what happened the rest of that night, but if you try hard enough, you can remember being tucked into a bed on the third floor, big eyes peering down at you as you tossed under the duvet, a hunched figure sat at the end of the bed on the floor and a soft voice singing you to a deep slumber.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

"It's gorgeous, darling," your mother's voice takes you out of the focus mode you're in. The sunlight seeps through the stained glass, illuminating the sunroom at the back of your house. If you look down through the windows, you'd find the garden that your mother has been cultivating for decades. The rose garden with its arches and its vines was where you'd dreamed to get proposed to when you were young.

"You think so?" you showed her the sketch in full, turning the pad, "Do you think it's easy enough to create in real life?"

"We can make anything you want happen," your mother takes a seat in the lounge chair next to yours.

"Can you make Eunseok love me back?" you hum dejectedly, shading in the corset of what would be your wedding dress.

"He does, sweetheart. You just refuse to see it," your mother swiftly utters, and you stop your drawing, clenching the pencil tightly in your fist.

"Why does everyone say that?" you growl, "Everyone but Eunseok."

"Because you act like you hate him. You act like marrying him is the worst thing in the world. You act like there's nothing he could say or do that would bring him back into your favour despite you loving him all these years," your mother is lecturing you now, "He follows your lead, my darling. He will go to the ends of the earth for you and he always has. What more does he have to do for you to accept the way he shows his love? What more can he do to have your forgiveness?"

There's tears welling up in your eyes and your mother takes the drawing pad away from you to examine the dress you had envisioned. She carries on while you chew your lip and fight back the tears.

"You're going to be beautiful in this dress. One year's time will fly by, so make amends with Eunseok by then. Even if you don't go into this marriage as lovers, at least go into it as friends. That will make your life easier."

"I don't want to be friends," you grit out.

"Mhm, you want all or nothing. Why don't you ask him, then? He threw the ball in your court when he asked you if this marriage is what you want. Someone who doesn't love you or care about you wouldn't give you the option to run away to save yourself, you know?" you hate how insightful your mother is as she grabs your left hand, "This ring is beautiful, Y/N. He knows your heart like it's his."

"Cause it is his," you choke as the tears begin falling, "And he stamped all over it 8 years ago."

"He was just a young boy back then. He's followed you all over the world to be by your side ever since. He's sacrificed his own life to make your dreams come true. You have no choice but to marry each other, but he's been making choices to give you the life you wanted," she strokes your hair gently, "Can you give the boy a chance?"

Over the years, your parents had apologised to you for putting you in such a situation. They had told you that if you truly, inside your heart, didn't want to get married to Song Eunseok, they would call the whole thing off. The marriage was a way to ensure the merger wouldn't go awry by putting you and Eunseok as collateral if one side ever did try to betray the other. Tying the two of you together in marriage was a way to prevent either families from ruining the other.

You considered putting a stop to things more times than you could count on your fingers, but selfishly, you would imagine yourself on a rocking chair on a porch, hair grey and skin wrinkly and when you would look over to see who would be on the other chair, Eunseok was the only one you could imagine with you.

"But I've treated him so horribly all these years," you hiccup, trying to stop your crying, "There's no way that Eunseok would love someone like me."

"Because you won't let him," she stands up and places the drawing pad back in your lap, "Y/N, your father and I love you very much and all we want is your happiness. We haven't opposed this marriage despite how hard you've tried to push Eunseok away because we know that if you let him, he would make you truly happy. You're the only person stopping that happiness."

You ponder on her words for a while after she leaves, adding little details to your dress. For someone who was acting like this wedding was going to ruin their life, you sure were investing a lot of your free time into it. Maybe Minjeong had gotten into your head; unless you planned to divorce Eunseok (after the 5 year clause, per the contract), you were only going to get married once, so you should at least do it in your style.

Wonbin was right at your engagement party. You'd been planning your wedding since young. You knew exactly which flowers you wanted to adorn the aisle, which flavour of cake you wanted to eat, which song was going to play while you walked down the aisle, and whose eyes you wanted on you on the other side as you did. Eunseok had always been your dream man- he was your first crush, your first love and your first heartbreak all rolled up into one devastatingly handsome package. You imagined him in his crisp suit, laughing through his tears because you just looked so beautiful, and the thought of that takes you out of your fantasy and back into the room that was filled not with tears of happiness, but of silence.

You look down at the ring. The sun is hitting it perfectly, making the diamond shimmer in the beam. You slide it off and inspect the band for the first time, wondering what size he got since you didn't even know your size. Your heart stops when you first notice it. It's so small that if you blinked at that moment, you probably wouldn't have even noticed it and you would've lived the rest of your life not knowing it was there.

You run your nail against the engraving, your breath hitched as you read it.

To the one I'll always choose.

It's always been about choice. This whole time, it's been about your freedom to choose.

You and Eunseok weren't born with the privilege of choosing the one who was going to love you so hard that it would drive you crazy. You were instead born with a silver spoon in your mouth and a signed contract that because your family was going to have a girl first, that girl would be married to the Song's first born when the time came.

There was no question or argument about it. You grew up beside Eunseok knowing you were going to spend the rest of your life together, so you chose to learn everything about him. You chose to learn that he loved playing basketball with his friends and that he became silly and unserious when around them. You chose to learn that he doted on his much younger baby brother and that he would fight anyone and anything that could bring harm to him. You chose to learn that Eunseok had a soft heart that had its very own soft spot reserved just for you- one that grew bigger after your hatred for him did as well.

While you chose to hate Eunseok for rejecting you, he chose to stick by your side anyways. He chose to join you in Oxford, even if most of his friends went to America to study. He chose to live at the block just down the street from yours, so he could walk behind you to lectures and check that you were okay every day without overwhelming you. He chose to sleep on hard floors and wake up with kinks in his neck because he chose to sing you to sleep while you were drunk and then refused to leave to sleep in a nice bed so he could watch over you and protect you in your state. He chose to take on a job in New York for two years instead of joining his father's company straight out of business school so that you had someone to accompany you on your midnight walks through New York City. He chose to give you the choice to leave if marrying him was truly a burden you couldn't bear, because your happiness was the grand reward of the consequences that he would bear in your place.

When you chose to hate him, Eunseok let love grow in the emptiness that you left behind instead. He would choose you a million times over and over again until the day you'd finally see it. Your hatred for the situation stemmed from the fact that you thought your choices were stripped away in being arranged to marry. You wanted Eunseok to love you not because he had to, but because it was his choice to.

You were too blind by your rage to see that Eunseok had been choosing you over and over again not because of the arrangement, but in spite of it. That was the greatest love of them all.

On the next sunny day, Eunseok joins you on the bench in the middle of the rose garden. You'd been sketching up ideas on how you want the aisle to look like. You were thinking light flowers along the bottom with candles dispersed to illuminate it. In your dreams, you'd get married at sunset in a glass pavilion that could hold only your closest friends and families. As the sun started dipping, the candles would take over as the source of light and bathe everyone in a soft, golden glow. In your dreams, the light would reflect onto Eunseok's face, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and large, round eyes that were peering down into yours.

"What did you call me over for?" Eunseok sits on his hands and looks around. It's spring time and the garden is at its most vibrant and beautiful.

You hold out your hand in front of you, "I found the engraving on the ring."

Eunseok takes a sharp breath in, "Ah you did?"

"Did you not want me to see it?"

"I had just hoped that whenever you did see it, you would believe it," Eunseok whispered, "It's true, by the way."

"I know," your response has Eunseok turning his head so fast it almost gives him whiplash.

"You do?"

"Mhm. You chose to follow me around the world despite me hating you and you having to give up on your dream schools just so you could try to prove yourself to me. You chose to keep giving me gifts on birthdays when we were abroad since my family often couldn't make it. You always choose me. Why?"

"In part to make amends for the mistake I made when I was young pushing away your feelings like that without thought," Eunseok explained, "But for the most part because I care about you and I want to make the best of a bad situation we're in. I know that no one wants to be in an arranged marriage. I just wanted to show you that I could give you the life you wanted. That you could be happy with me."

Your heart aches at his words as you realise how truly misguided your perception of him was. You had thought that he was following you around to torment you and to remind you that you could never be free, but all this time, he was letting you live your dreams and staying by your side to show that he was supporting you.

"I've treated you so badly over the years and you still want to marry me?" you meet his eyes that have been trained on you since the moment he sat down.

Eunseok giggles and reaches up his warm palm to your cold face, "Hm, your words are harmless Y/N. You've shown your affection to me in other ways; I know you love me."

You roll your eyes and push his hand away, "In your dreams, Song."

"Mhm, actually in your dreams," Eunseok teases, "Considering you've been dreaming about marrying me for 10 years."

"And I don't know why. I must be sick in the head for that. Did you hit me in the head when we were young or something?" you retort, trying to move away from him.

Eunseok lets out a full-bodied laugh that sends butterflies through you instead of the burning rage that usually ensued whenever he was having fun in front of you. He stretched his arm around you behind the bench and pulled you closer to him, "Just admit it, Y/N. Everyone knows you've had a fat crush on me since we were teens and it's only ever grown. There's a very, very fine line between love and hate."

"I still hate you," you grumble, "This doesn't mean anything."

Eunseok drops his head down, pushing your head into his shoulder. Your first instinct is to recoil away and grimace, but Eunseok's grip on your shoulder is tight, so you try to relax in his hold.

"You'll always be my girl, Y/N. You just have to accept that."

You hum and watch the bees buzz around the rose garden, "I've always wanted the whole ordeal- the crushing, the pining, the courting, going on dates, having your firsts, moving in together, proposing how you want. I feel like that was taken away from me before I even knew what they were and even if we do those things, how would I know what's real and what's fake? What you're doing because of me and what you're doing because of the arrangement- that kind of stuff."

Eunseok's heartbeat is slow and strong, "The arrangement only brought us to each other. How can I make you believe that everything I do for you is because I want to?"

"How about we start with when you rejected me and left poor little 16 year old me heartbroken?"

Eunseok scoffs, "Y/N, I was stupid, okay? It was a mistake, I was young and I was too blind to see what was in front of me. You were still special to me back then and I have always cared for you, but I didn't know what I wanted back then. I grew up and haven't looked back since."

"And the girls you brought around at university?"

"Because you were demanding that I dated other people," Eunseok rolls his eyes, thinking about your past explosive arguments about relationships, "I just went on dates here and there, but never anything serious. I always let them know that I couldn't commit, but you know there was a line wrapping around Oxford wanting to date me."

You chuckle at that. Everyone was falling over their feet for the chance to get just a second of Song Eunseok's time, the same way he was doing to you. He was incredibly popular and girls would approach you to ask you to set them up, but you would always growl and send them on their way.

"You were only the most eligible bachelor because you're the son of the third richest family in Korea," you sneer, jokingly.

"And I'm handsome, charming, intelligent and kind," Eunseok lists off his traits on his fingers, "But everyone knows you've always had my heart."

"I don't know if I can believe that."

He shrugs simply beside you, "Doesn't matter. I can show you now."

"What?"

"We can date from now on. I'll show you how I feel. Then in one year's time, you'll be gladly getting married to me instead of having to be dragged up the aisle kicking and screaming by your family," he says it so casually that you question if the shocked reaction you're having is the abnormal one.

"Date?" you splutter out, completely bewildered, pulling away from him, "Us two? Now?"

"Why are you saying it like it's crazy? I basically just confessed to you," Eunseok crosses his arms in front of his chest and tilts his head in confusion, "Are you rejecting me? Is this payback?"

You wave your hand in dismissal, "Yah, you're really confusing me here, Eunseok. I don't know what I'm feeling right now."

He laughs again, and he's glad that he can finally laugh with you for the first time in years. He takes your hand between his and squeezes assuringly, "It's okay. We can figure it out together as we go. Just stay by my side, okay?"

You sigh into the breeze. The air was crisping up as the sky began to illuminate in visions of pink and purple. You look over at Eunseok and the reflection of the sun makes his eyes look iridescent. One thing you've always known about Eunseok is that with him, you felt safe, so you nod and squeeze his hand back, "Yeah."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

The first time you saw Eunseok again after your undergraduate graduation, it was in New York City at the end of summer.

You had spent the entire summer travelling nearly every country in Europe with your friends, while Eunseok was forced to come home and start learning how to actually work in his father's company before he started his role at the New York branch. You were glad to have this summer without him considering the two of you spent your summers together as children and as teens, your friendship groups overlapped so you also had to hang out with him.

There were endless boxes in your apartment since decorating your space was one of your life's great pleasures. The boxes were organised by room and had been shipped out from England at the start of the summer when you moved out. They'd been collecting dust, so all your windows were thrown open in the summer heat to air out the apartment and the dust. Of course you had AC, but there was something about the noise of the city traffic and the hustle and bustle travelling up to your apartment that made you feel like you were truly in the city.

The knock on your door made you groan instantly and you had to suppress the urge of banging your head into the coffee table you were decorating. You took small and slow steps to the front door, but the pattering on the door wasn't letting up.

"Already here to bother me on my first day? It's only been like 3 hours since I got off the plane," you sighed as you came face to face with your dreaded fiancé.

Eunseok rolled his eyes and pushed past your shoulders into your kitchen, "I know you missed me. I brought takeout since you probably haven't eaten and don't have any food yet." Eunseok held up a bag of his favourite Korean food in the city and placed it on your dining table, dishing out the styrofoam boxes.

He arrived in the city a week and a half before you did, moving into the apartment across the hall so he had been able to get himself settled into both his job and his city before you came to rain down terror on him.

"What makes you think I want to eat with you?"

"I bought it, so I'm gonna eat it. Up to you if you wanna starve or not," Eunseok shrugged, already making himself comfy in one of your expensive dining chairs. He took out some plastic cutlery from the bag and began to dig in to the beef bibimbap he had ordered for himself. There was another few boxes of food in the bag, all of which smelling amazing and instantly causing your stomach to grumble.

Sheepishly, you took the seat across from him and scavenged through the food. He had ordered you some tteokbokki and a stew with some rice. Either he knew you too well or it was a lucky guess. For the sake of your heart, you settled on the latter choice.

The two of you ate in silence for a while, not really looking up at each other and just staring passively at your food. Silence was few and far between when it came to you and Eunseok. It was always hushed arguing or full blown insulting between the two of you no matter where you went or how inappropriate it may have seemed to others. You were sure there were rumours that the two of you didn't always get on despite being photographed together so often, but your families' PR teams were experts in mangling all those 'rumours'.

You broke the silence first, "How's the new job?"

The heir in front of you coughs and looks at you strangely, as if he couldn't believe you would ask him that, "It's... work. Not horrible and met a couple friendly colleagues. Having this job does make me feel so grown up and responsible, though," after the initial shock of you initiating a conversation, Eunseok began blabbering about his new position at his family's company.

"Well then hopefully it makes you more mature," you snide.

Eunseok scoffed, "Trust me, Y/N, when I say that I'm the more mature one out of us. You'll find out what I mean one day."

"If you were mature enough, you'd know to oppose this crazy marriage with me," you turned your head away from him, feeling the anger bubble up again.

"And it's because I'm mature enough that I'm not," he shrugged, "Unlike you, I don't think this marriage will be the worst thing that can happen to me."

"I'm honoured," you retorted, "I don't know why you think that when all I've done is make your life difficult. Why would you think I can't continue for the rest of our lives?"

He smiled coyly at you, pushing a drink that appeared in the bag towards you, "You'll get tired, sweetheart. Then you'll fall in love with me."

You feel sick at how he's all entirely wrong. Despite that, you appreciate how he's always able to diffuse any tension between the two of you even if his words are always cocky and arrogant. z

You don't say anything to him for a long while. When you finished up your food in silence, he packed everything anyway and placed it in the correct bins. Wordlessly, he began to unpack your boxes with you, unwrapping everything bubble wrapped and placing it on the kitchen counters for you to organise. You would have protested this act of service, but he's right- fighting him all the time does get tiring.

In this light from the living room as the sun setting made your apartment glow and burst with light, Eunseok looks radiant. You hope he can't see you admiring him from the next room. It's almost as if you're a normal couple, moving into their first home and starting their new life together. It's a melancholy sight as you ponder the what if's.

He breaks down all of your boxes flat, humming to himself a song that you think you've heard at the end of parties when you'd be sat on someone's bedroom floor just talking or playing cards half-drunk. Eunseok turned his head towards you and you whipped your head away so fast it hurts your neck.

"You still have this?" he held up a mug that instantly flashed you back to 6 years ago. The mug is majority a light pink and wonky in places since you made it yourself from clay. It was a few months process making and painting the mug, but when you were 15 with the biggest crush on him, having a mug brandishing "Y/N + EUNSEOK" on it made you feel giddy inside.

"All my other mugs broke," you lied through your teeth, snatching it from his grip and placing it in a random empty cupboard, "My mother packed it for me when I moved to Oxford."

"Mhm, okay," you could tell he was smirking but you made yourself busy with the plates, "I'm gonna take the boxes down to the recycling. Do you want any more help?"

"I've had enough of you for today," you breathed out. Too much time with him truly drove you crazy, "But thanks."

"Anytime, princess. I'm just across the hall if you need me and I'll get your number whenever you get it set up." he wiped his hands on his jeans and have you that charming smile that made you fall in the first place.

You see him out wordlessly. You don't argue when he turns up the next day demanding for your number in case you ever needed anything from him (or if he wanted to come and bother you). You feign annoyance when one morning he's insisting that he ran out of coffee in his apartment and wanted some of yours. You leave him in your apartment because you were running late to class, but when you get home, you open the cupboard and try not to fall all over again when you see a matching, much lumpier, handmade blue mug that brandished the words "TO FOREVER <3" on it next to yours.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

You're tossing and turning in your seat as Eunseok shakes you gently. He laughs when you groan under your breath as he wakes you up, "Sit up. We're landing soon."

The sleep you got on the flight was long, but you still woke up incredibly tired since you kept getting woken up for meals. You were grateful that you could fly first class with separate seats and beds, otherwise you'd be much more groggy than you already were.

Buckling yourself in the seat next to Eunseok's, you yawn, "Eunseok, what the fuck is an engagement trip?"

"A trip celebrating our engagement, duh," he looks at you like you're stupid, so you shove him as hard as your tired body could muster, "Like a honeymoon but before. Never too many excuses to take a vacation. Plus, we're going to be busy this trip."

You've never taken a vacation with just Eunseok before. Sure, you've lived in three different countries together outside of Korea and gone on a couple of vacations as children and with a large group of friends, but never just the two of you with a purpose.

"I don't understand why our wedding planner couldn't just pick a venue for herself and call it a day. Why must we go all the way to Italy and do it ourselves?" you're up to your neck in work, but you couldn't protest when you found a week blocked off in your calendar by your assistant, telling you it was 'orders from above' AKA your father.

"It was my idea," he confesses with a shrug, "Won't it be nice if we actually like where we're getting married? If we chose it ourselves because we can see ourselves getting married there?"

It feels like your heart is clenching at the insinuations behind his words. He wants to get involved with your wedding planning, like it's a real wedding. You sniff and turn away from him. It is a real wedding, you remind yourself. You were going to get married legally and this wedding was real, no matter the intention behind it. No matter if you loved or hated each other, it was a real wedding.

"Yeah. Everywhere in Italy is nice so at leadt it'll be a good trip," the past couple of months since you've been officially engaged to Eunseok, you've been attempting to be nicer and hold back your retorts. You've made an effort to argue less and he's been trying to get on your good side. You've both been busy with work considering the news of the merger brought a whole new wave of problems, so you've had no time to interrogate his profession to "date" you. Thank gosh, because your heart would not be able to take that.

The plane lands soon enough and before you know it, you're in a private car going to your hotel. You were staying in Milan, but driving around Lake Como and Tuscany to tour the list of potential venues that your wedding planner had come up with. You were definitely going to be exhausted by the end of it.

The drive was relatively silent, just listening to music and looking out of the window, but when you arrive at the hotel, Eunseok opens the car door for you and snakes his arm around your waist as you walk up to the front desk, "Hello. We're checking in to the penthouse suite. For Song?"

The hotel clerk smiles sweetly, handing over your keys swiftly, "All ready for you both, Mr Song. Congratulations on your engagement."

You're spluttering a thank you with flushed cheeks as Eunseok drags you over to the elevator, "You told them?"

"I just wanted the free champagne that I assume will be up there," he grins cheekily and you roll your eyes. As if he couldn't afford it.

You are however delighted to find a small cake beside the bucket of ice cold champagne and you dig into the red velvet goodness as you watch Eunseok open up your suitcases and hang your clothes up in the master bedroom wardrobe meticulously. You're halfway into the cake when he drags his suitcases out of the room.

"Wait, where are you going?" you frown.

Eunseok snickers, "To the other bedroom? Why? Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Oh. I just didn't know there were two rooms." you say sheepishly.

Eunseok stops in his tracks, hand on his suitcase loosening, "So you went into this trip okay with the thought of sleeping with me? If so, I'll stay here with you then."

"No!" you call out, "Just- just shut up and go."

The smirk on his face is smug as he nods and continues his leave, "Alright, sweetheart, but let me know if you get nightmares and want company."

You bear the butter knife at him and he laughs melodically on his way out. You pop the champagne yourself and drown a glass down, hoping you'd be able to make it out the trip unscathed. He's running into the room with a pout after hearing the loud pop of the corkscrew, so you pour the both of you a glass and you clink them together as you chugged them back.

The days pass by similarly. You wake up and have breakfast together before embarking on a sleepy drive to a venue. You have lunch in endless terraces and gardens under the sun, basking in the heat and evaluating the venue you saw that morning. You both ooh and ahh at different venues that all look the same before you find a flaw in it that stops you from making the decision to host one of the most important days of your lives there. Some are too big, some too small, too pretentious, not pretty enough, the flowers aren't the ones you envisioned, the location too secluded or not enough. You always agree on the flaws of the venues and it's the penultimate full day when you make it to the final venue on the list.

"If I don't like this venue then I'm not marrying you," you huff in the car as it pulls up the driveway.

"Who knew wedding venues were so complicated?" Eunseok exhales in frustration, "Should we just get married in Seoul?"

You puff out your lips, "Italy was always my dream, but I was naive to the process."

Eunseok smiles and takes your hand, "I have faith in this one. At least I hope." The commitment he has to giving you your dream wedding despite it all is unwavering.

When you enter the final venue, you think that maybe it was the last on the list for a reason, since you're blown away every step you take through the grounds. The hallways to the main room is ornate and delicate at the same time, with pretty floral paintings wrapping the walls and big windows letting in the golden light. The room where your reception could be held is stunning with murals all over the walls and a dome ceiling that compliments it perfectly. It's neither too big, nor too small and there's little nooks and crannies for guests to nestle themselves in. You could see yourself in the middle, slow dancing with your head on your husband's shoulder.

"This is nice," Eunseok awes, coming up behind you with the grounds manager, "Very pretty."

You nod in agreement and ask to see the gardens, since you always wanted to get married outside in the sun. The manager gushes over the outside while she leads you out and your heart is pounding in anticipation. Eunseok probably guessed how giddy you were, because he joins you by your side and gives you a hopeful look.

"We're here. Most brides start from here and have the aisle straight down to the arch."

She throws open the double doors and you gasp in admiration at the sight in front of you. The stairs going down to the garden seen steep, but grand. You envision that your father could probably help you hobble down to the garden, where it was staged as a wedding venue. There's chairs laid out in rows, decorated in tulle and bows with an aisle adorned in flowers. At the end of the garden, there's an arch with vines wrapped around it and flowers creeping up. From where you were standing, you could see that this garden was actually on a balcony overlooking a lake that seemed to be glowing and sparkling as the slight wind caused some ripples on the surface

"I'll give you two some time to explore?" she proposes, to which Eunseok nods and wraps his hand around your wrist, tugging you down the stairs.

"First impressions?" he's looking around with blown out pupils as the two of you reach the bottom of the stairs and the beginning of the aisle.

"I like this one a lot," you shyly admit, "It's exactly what I imagined."

"I love it as well. Why don't you walk down the aisle and see how you feel. Imagine yourself on the day," he's taking off in front of you, running swiftly to the arch before you could even take a breath and get a word out.

At his antics, you let out a full-belly laugh and straighten out the ivory dress you happened to be wearing. You look down at the slip dress hitting your ankles and think it might be fate you chose to wear this specific dress on this specific day. You look up and find Eunseok suddenly frozen still at the other end, hands intertwined in front of him and his eyes trained solely on you.

When he notices that you meet his eyes, he gives you a gentle smile as he mouths to you, "Come here."

It takes you a few breaths to actually muster up the courage to follow his direction. You think that walking down a straight path shouldn't be such a big deal, but the thought that this could be the very steps you take to marry the same man at the end in less than a year's time strikes your heart.

The aisle is a soft and smooth stone, perfect for walking on in high heels. It's wide enough that a wedding dress wouldn't drag along the sides and knock over the flowers and long enough for anticipation to build as Eunseok gazes down at you from afar.

"Y/N," Eunseok calls over.

You take the first step and your breath catches in your throat. All you can look at is Eunseok now, with his shirt unbuttoned at the first three to expose some chest and his hair falling over his eyes. He keeps fidgeting with his fingers, as if he couldn't stand still and his lips are puckering and stretching as if he had much more to say.

The second step is easier than the first and the third one even more so. By the fifth step, Eunseok is chewing on his bottom lip and you're ridden with anticipation to meet him at the end.

With each step you take down the aisle, you're flashed back to all the crucial moments in your life with Song Eunseok so far.

You were sandbox best friends. You learned to walk together, and then ride bikes with each other. You learned to swim in the same swimming pool that still remained in your garden. You learned to ski and snowboard with each other in the blustery mountains of the alps. You were each other's first heartbreaks when you were teens. You took your first alcoholic drink together with your friends by the Han river, faces flushed red and hearts beating out of your chests at the prospect of getting caught. You got blackout drunk together for the first time during your first week of university. You posed together as you threw your graduation caps up in the air at the end of the three years. You chased each other around New York City, running around in blocks after he snatched your phone from your grasp when you would ignore him. You begrudgingly invited him to ride swan paddle boats with you in every lake and river around the city since he was the only person that would drop everything for you at a moment's notice. You would leave containers of home cooked food outside his doors when you noticed he was getting swamped with work, knowing he had the tendency to either order too much unhealthy takeout or stop eating altogether when busy.

With every step you take to meet Eunseok at the bottom of the aisle, you accept that Eunseok has been with you for every step of your life.

He's an arm's length away when you notice his eyes are glossier than usual. Eunseok refuses to break the stare between the two of you as you arrive in front of him, exactly where you would stand under the arch if you got married at this very space.

"Are you crying?" you whisper, afraid of your own voice.

He chortles and dabs at his eyes, "It's just the wind."

"Mhm," you hum, fighting back the smile threatening to expose your emotions, "What do you think?"

Eunseok takes a bold step towards you and closes the gap between your bodies. He's closer than you've ever had him and you can nearly feel his breath on your skin. It's making you dizzy but all you can do is keep your eyes on him.

"Eunseok," you murmur in a hushed tone.

His head is drifting closer down to yours, forehead nearly touching. If you moved your face even just by a centimetre, your noses would bump and you knew you wouldn't be able to stop yourself.

"Let's get married here," Eunseok nudges his face forwards. You have to stop yourself from pulling back even with the drumming in your chest, "You're going to look so beautiful. You do already."

"I like this place. Our parents would like it here too."

Eunseok's eyes flutter shut as he sighs and shakes his head gently, "No, let's get married here because we want to, not because our parents would like it. Let's get married because we want to."

"Eunseok," his name falls out of your mouth like it's the most sacred word you can say.

His forehead is still pressed against yours, his eyes squeezed tight and his palm comes up to make home on your cheek, "I love you. I always have."

Sincerity drips from his words and you know that this time, it's the real thing. It's the words you'd been dying to hear him say sincerely for a decade. It's the words that underlined every fight and argument you've had as adults. He finally and bravely bares his heart to you for the first time, still considerate as he always had been by giving you the choice to determine what will end up of the two of you.

There's something different about his profession of love after all you'd experienced together. Back then, when you confessed that you liked him, the world would probably say it was just some puppy love- a silly high school crush. Something that would fizzle over and dissolve when you would experience the real hardships of life and what it could throw at you. You think that a late confession carries a profound and heartfelt meaning like no other.

"Seok-"

He cuts you off before you could finish, pulling away from you and causing you to open your eyes, "I don't need an answer yet, Y/N. I just need you to know that I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend, your husband, your partner- whatever you want me to be. I want to make you only happy from now on, instead of angry or resentful. I want to be by your side and keep following you around the world. I want everything with you."

You've never felt more sure of anything else in the world when you bounce up on your tiptoes and capture his face between your hands, pressing your lips against his. It feels like every nerve ending in your body is on fire, but at the same time feeling relief as if this was the one thing in the world that could finally relieve you from all the anger and bitterness you had been displaying and trying to internalise for all these years. Deep down, you could never ever hate Song Eunseok, the boy who has had your heart since you were just young.

He's rigid for a split second while he processes your own confession, but he quickly regains enough composure to part his lips and deepen the kiss, moulding your lips to each other's. It's unlike anything he's ever felt before and he finally understood the real pleasure of kissing someone you really love. As he runs his tongue along your bottom lip, Eunseok knows that he could do this for the rest of his life.

"Song Eunseok, I love you too," your eyes are glistening with adoration as you pull away from his kiss, "Let's get married?"

When he finally looks you in the eye at the moment you give yourself back to him, he can't help the tears that finally break free from their barrier. He's laughing as he finally pulls you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your body in desperation of keeping you close to him. You nuzzle deeper into him and he tucks his head into your neck. His body is shaking with the laughter of relief and his heartstrings tug when he feels his shirt dampening at the exact spot where your face laid.

"You're the one I'll always choose to love," he coo's into your ear words that travel straight into your heart, "For the rest of my life, for the rest of yours."

You look down at your hand and breathe deeply as the ring glistens on your finger. The Italian sun makes it shine bright as the symbol of your love. You start thinking of what you want to engrave on the inside of the ring that you want to get him. You start thinking of the dress and suit you'll be wearing at this very spot soon enough. You're dreaming of the house you move into together and of the company you'll spearhead by each other's side. You fantasise over your future kids- the kids you hope will have his eyes and your nose. You yearn for the life you know Eunseok will give you and your heart is finally at peace, knowing it will always be him.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

#eunseok #riize #riize au #eunseok au #song eunseok #riize fic #riize fanfic #riize x reader #eunseok x reader #eunseok fluff #riize fluff #riize angst #riize imagine #riize one shot #riize fic recs #eunseok fic recs #arranged marriage au

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possamble · 5 months

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Do you have any headcanons or thoughts about Falin having a crush on Marcille pre-canon? Especially during her later years at the school/the years she was with Laios.

Just full on "awkward and slightly gnc teenage lesbian has a massive crush on the touchy-feely girly girl straight best friend" tropes everywhere. Even better bc it's the "best friend is also the popular girl while lesbian is the slightly ostracized quiet one" dynamic in school. Falin gets so so so good at not having a heart attack every time Marcille gets in her personal space. But she's so resigned to never saying anything bc why would a girl as blinding as Marcille ever like her back. She also doesn't make an effort to get over it either, she's just content to be trapped in that stable dynamic of silently being in love with Marcille while getting to enjoy CLEARLY being Marcille's favourite person. She gets so used to it that it's almost just background noise most of the time-- it would have to be, unless she wanted to be freaking out 24/7 bc Marcille is so goddamn affectionate.

Her feelings also definitely change throughout the time that they're in school together-- at first it was this "whooaaah pretty older girl" puppy crush that you can clearly see developing in the flashbacks we get (I think she doesn't even like... realize her fixation on Marcille is romantic at all until years after it starts, when she's 12-14 ish and all the other girls around her are talking about crushes). But then they get closer, over the years Marcille starts getting really attached and letting down her guard, and Falin gets to see the ridiculous side of her. She gets to calm her down from her tantrums when experiments don't work out, or help her clean up when something explodes in her face. I feel like the progression of her feelings from "schoolgirl infatuation" to "unrequited love" probably almost exactly corresponds to how slowly Marcille goes from trying to keep Falin at a polite but friendly distance (like she does with everyone else) to her facade completely eroding as she becomes her cheerful and ridiculous self again for the first time since her father died.

That's probably the saddest part: Falin knows that she's clearly Marcille's favourite person on the surface level, but she doesn't quite fully grasp the enormity of what that means to Marcille. She doesn't get that she's the person who made the world colorful again for Marcille, that she is the first person outside of Marcille's family to really and truly make her laugh. She just thinks she's the beloved but dinky little short-lived sidekick, one of many that Marcille has had and will have.

Part of it is that, despite Marcille becoming such a clingy and affectionate best friend, I think her initial demeanour already did its damage. You see Falin being super adventurous and weird at first, bringing Marcille berries and other stuff, only to be rebuffed by Marcille exasperatedly saying she's working or looking kind of put off by it. And by the time you see her a little older, shes already quieter and better at masking -- and I'm not saying that that's entirely Marcille's fault (being the weird girl at an all girls academy for almost the entirety of her teenhood must have been brutal, my god) but she definitely learned that she's a potential nuisance to Marcille if she doesn't tone herself down. She learned that Marcille most likely sees her as a weird little kid following her around bc she has no other friends. And for the most part, she was never given any reason to unlearn any of that.

And that all very very smoothly transitions into Marcille being her "first love that was never meant to be anyway" when she leaves the academy. Chapter closed in her mind: she loved and pined from a distance and that was that. Every now and then she'll see another woman with Marcille's build or her shade of hair and be like ":( I miss her..." But then just kinda move on with her day. Same with when she's going through her own spellbook and finds a note that Marcille left her/correction that she made-- she'll smile fondly and reminisce about how much Marcille doted on her, and then move on.

Sometimes she thinks about contacting Marcille but convinces herself that it's too late (she spent too many months focusing on getting Laios healthy again and didn't mean to go no contact, but ah well). It's only when she has a practical reason to be reaching out that would also benefit Marcille ("Marcille is studying dungeons and we need a trustworthy mage to go with us to the dungeons") that she feels like she's allowed/that it wouldn't just be 100% a nuisance.

I almost think she didn't expect Marcille to reply at all, only to get a telegraph (or some in-universe equivalent of express mail, maybe magical pigeon carrier) that's like. EN ROUTE TO ISLAND. LETTER TO FOLLOW. and she freaks out like AAAA LAIOS SHE SAID YES WE HAVE TO CLEAN UP NOW.

I do think getting a response accidentally sparks a little hope in her, judging by the way she acts in the chp 57 flashback-- she's pouty that Marcille sees her as a kid, gets really worked up about being presentable, and then tries to play it cool when she actually meets Marcille (as if she didn't freak out and force Laios to shave while rambling a mile a minute about Marcille). She's an adult now, really and truly, and she's seen and survived things that her 18 yr old self would have never even imagined-- then all of a sudden, the person she was in love with since she was ten years old appears, and she's so desperate to be seen as mature and competent. She's trying soooo hard to impress Marcille with her newfound combat and dungeoneering experience...

Only to fall right back into their old dynamic. RIP. At least she gets the girl eventually, even if it takes dying twice and being the core catalyst behind an almost-apocalypse.

#asks #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dungeon meshi #farcille #marcilleposting #kinda #the irony is that for me she DOES succeed in impressing marcille #its just that its so gradual and marcille is so so good at repression that neither of them notice it #marcille just sees her reacting so confidently to dire combat situations #easily throwing up protective spells even when they get ambushed #and seeing her become an expert in her field of magic that marcille would even consider an intellectual peer or equal #as well as a competent healer and combatant who also grew up a lot to take care of laios herself #changes marcilles feelings surprisingly fast i think. i think shes down bad in love with falin for the majority of the year before canon #the absence made the heart grow fonder but the feelings more mutable and its almost like meeting a new person when they reunite #anyway. you guys have to stop reading my mind and asking about major themes from my wips #yes the next chapter of a little creature touches on this a lot.#stop making me give away my takes before i can properly write them into fiction form fjsjjdf

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pythonees · 2 years

Text

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ FLOWER POWER — xavier thorpe

REQUESTED: anon

WARNINGS: 18+, aged up characters, fairy reader, sex pollen (dub-con), frottage, fingering (f), unprotected piv sex, requited-unrequited love, hurt/comfort, miscommunication, crying

A/N: anon you are speaking my language! this is my favourite trope omfg. some flower knowledge required if you wanna know exactly what the flower looks like tough it's not necessary

Your favourite place to be is the greenhouse, full of so much colour and life you could barely picture yourself anywhere but there. The love you had for plants and wildlife stems from your fairy genetics, able to control plants and compel animals to your will.

There were some days that you would spend your time in there way into the night, only noticing how much time has passed when a random couple would come by and disturb your fun with their giggling and less than pg noises. Then you'd have to sneak out without disturbing them and making an already awkward situation worse.

On others you would be accompanied by your friend and longtime crush Xavier, who would come to see how things were going and to make sure you got to meals on time. He'd always have to drag you out, forcing you to take a break from your plants and to instead take care of yourself. It was one of the many things you liked about him, they way he took care of you.

Most of the flowers wouldn't get past a seedling, withering up and dying the second the roots started to grow, the combination of flowers too different to grow despite you putting all your magic into it. Those days Xavier knew he'd have to bring food to you, listening in confusion as you rambled to yourself about what went wrong. But that day was not today. Today was a lucky day.

The flower you had created looks... funny. It's small with a few blooms, looking like a mix between a corpse flower and a tulip, but hanging upside down like a lily of the valley. The spadix sticking out from the flower is long and corkscrewed, a pinky purple colour that looks almost like jelly. The spathe goes from green to a deep black not typically seen in naturally occurring flowers. It's enticing to look at, with an odd smell that you can't quite place from where you're standing.

You walk around the flower, looking over it to see Xavier finally sitting down at one of the desks, drawing away. It's hard to stop yourself from watching him when he's in his element, face scrunched up cutely as he concentrates on every stroke of his pencil.

Xavier has been drawing every single flower you make, helping you fill out the journal you made with his art. You however have been staring at it for a few minutes, not knowing where to start in figuring out if it does anything. It's always hard to tell just what type of plant you've made from just a glance. Splicing together flowers is one thing, but infusing your very emotion based magic into the seedlings means that the end result is very... unpredictable.

You don't really remember the mood you were in when you created this, it had been a busy week of tests that had gone by in a study induced haze that you thankfully don't remember. The good news is that even if it's poisonous it won't kill you, it'll just make you violently ill for the next few days. You've only had that happen twice, thankfully, and when you're alone.

You've never had Xavier in the green house with you when you're trying to figure out if a new plant does anything, but you had been sick for a few days and hadn't been able to check on it, and he had missed hanging out with you. So you let him tag along. Now you're not so sure about your decision.

You carefully put yourself between the flower and Xavier, grabbing the bucket full of worms to start some tests. You use a stick to scoop one out, holding the wriggling worm up to one of the flowers to see if it reacts. After a few seconds of nothing happening, you gently nudge the worm against the petal. It starts to move, but not in the way your expecting a carnivorous plant to.

All of the hanging flowers lift up to face you, the inside of the flower a fleshy looking pink. The flowers start to shake just slightly, and you lean closer to try and get a closer look. That's when a haze of white pollen shoots out from the flower, hitting you right in the face. In your surprise you inhale sharply, sucking in a lungful of the mysterious pollen that stings your eyes and burns your throat. You drop the stick in a rush to wave away the plume of pollen, stumbling away from the plant.

Your name is called from behind you, but you're too busy rubbing your sleeve against your closed eyes, trying to get it off. You feel hands grip your shoulders and spin you around, pushing your sleeve away to dab gently around your face with his own sleeve. All you can smell is the familiar scent of sandalwood, weak but enticing and somehow able to overwhelm your senses until all you want is to get closer to wherever it's coming from.

When Xavier stops cleaning your face you slowly open your eyes, finding your gaze hazy and your head fuzzy. Xavier takes a deep breath through his nose, sniffing at the pollen that transferred from your face and onto his sleeve.

"Whatever that shit was smells good," he says, going back in for another sniff. You find yourself leaning in towards him, wanting, no, needing to be closer to him. You move so fast you stumble over your feet, Xavier barely grabbing your upper arms in time to keep you upright, "Woah there, you alright?"

You nod your head lazily, taking the last step needed to press your face into his chest. You wrap your arms tightly around his waist as you rub your face against him. Xavier huffs out a laugh, wrapping his arms around you to rerun the impromptu hug.

"You could have just told me you wanted a hug you know," Xavier laughs, and you can feel it against your face from where your pressed into him.

You tighten you grip, turning your face just enough so that you can mumble out, "You smell really good."

"Thank you? It's the same cologne I always use," Xavier laughs, a hand absently rubbing up and down your back. It leaves a hot trail on your skin that instantly spreads, until it seems to burn. Your skin is tingling and you can feel the tell tale wetness of arousal in you panties and that's when you know you've fucked up letting Xavier come in here with you. You know what type of flower you made.

You open your mouth to warn him about what you know is going on, when he dips down to sniff at your neck, nose pressed to your skin, "you smell good too, like vanilla and lavender."

With him standing so close and nosing at your neck, you can't hold back to quiet moan at feeling that tiny bit of skin to skin contact. It makes the burning you feel under your skin start to feel good, thighs pressed tightly together for some sort of friction.

Tucking your arms in between you, you slide them up until you can cup his face, pulling him away from where he's been smelling at your neck so that he can face you.

"What's wrong—" you cut him off with a kiss, desperate and needy as you moan against his lips. He kisses back almost immediately, the hand that was rubbing up and down your back going up to cup the back of your neck. His big hands feel great against your skin, more contact to stop the seemingly insatiable burn.

His tongue swipes tentatively against you lip, and your eagerly licking your way into his mouth before you can even think about it. Xavier's hands tighten at the back of your neck, holding you in place as he forcefully slows the kiss down. You whine impatiently, but let him do as he wants as you let your hands drop from his face and to his chest.

The buttons of his white shirt are annoyingly small for your rushing fringes, roughly pulling at the fabric as you undo the buttons. You get about half way down before Xavier seems to realize what it is your doing, hand quickly gripping your wrists to keep you in place as he pulls away from the kiss.

"Wanna touch you," you whine before he can say anything, leaning foreword again. You've got his arms trapped between your bodies, making sure to press your chest up against his for good measure. He swallows roughly, and you watch the bob of his adams apple as he stares down at you, pupils blown wide, "Please, Xavier. Wanna get my hands all over you."

"Shit, yeah, okay." Xavier lets go of your hands, and the second you're free they're back to their previous task, pulling and tugging at his shirt until it's hanging open. His tie is yanked open and off, thrown to the side without a care in the world. You splay your hands out, running them up and down his chest as you watch them with awe. Every bit of skin you feel against you makes the burning go away, makes the haze of your brain laser focused to Xavier and his skin and getting it all over you as soon as possible.

You trail your hands up his chest to loop them around his neck, tugging him in for another kiss. This time it's Xavier's hands that are roaming, gliding up and down your sides, stopping to fiddle with the hem of your shirt before repeating the pattern over and over.

"Please," you whisper against his lips, going right back to kissing him with a burning need that rivals the burning of your skin. Instead of taking your shirt off like you thought he was, he lets his hands roam further down, giving your ass a quick squeeze as he goes by before he's hiking one of your legs up, wrapping it around his waist. You quickly do the same with the other, moaning as he lifts you up against his body.

You're quickly turned around and deposited on a nearby empty table, Xavier leaning over you as he deepens the kiss. You keep your legs wrapped tight around his waist, using it for leverage to roll your hips up into his. You both moan, Xavier's hips stuttering against yours at the sensation.

When he pulls away you let out another needy whine, trying to pull him back to you. He does come back to press a quick peck to your lips, but then pulls away again. His hands go to the top of your blouse, fingering at the top button.

"Can I?" He asks, a flustered smile overtaking his face when you nod enthusiastically. Your tie is removed first, with a lot more care than his was, placing it on the table next to you guys. He takes his time undoing the buttons of your shirt, eyes roaming over each new inch of revealed skin like you're a work of art. It has your heart pounding, eyes wide as you watch him watch your body become more and more revealed.

When the last button is undone he slowly pushes your shirt open, exposing you to him. One hand braces him on the table while the other settles low on your stomach, slowly roaming up your body, over a bra covered breast and along your neck before he's cupping your cheek, leaning down to press a quick, searing kiss to your lips.

"God you look beautiful," he says, staring down at you in awe. You wriggle under him, holding your arms out for him. He laughs with a shake of his head, but leans down to meet you in a kiss. You roll your hips again, swallowing the moan Xavier let's out eagerly. When your hips keeps rolling up against his he meets you thrust for thrust, the constant pressure against you clit making you see stars.

Xavier's hand leaves you face to place roaming kisses down your body, stopping at you skirt to flip it up to reveal the grinding of your bodies. You know there must be wet spot on your panties from how soaked they feel, and by the way Xavier stares do at them with wide, hungry eyes.

"Wanna touch you, can I?" Xavier says, fingers running along the band of your panties. You nod eagerly, unwrapping your legs from around his waist so that he can take them of. He's not as slow about taking the panties off as he was with opening your shirt, wide eyes never leaving your exposed cunt as he drags them off and drops them on the floor, leaving you in just hiked up skirt.

His hands smooth up your legs and over plush thighs before he's using his hands to force your legs up and open, staring down at your glistening wetness. You place your feet up on the table as you let your legs fall open, like you're a fine art display for him to enjoy. He slowly runs a finger up through your folds, and it sends a heavenly shock of arousal through your body. He gently rubs his finger against your clit, making tiny, agonizingly slow circles.

"Xavier!" You whine, rolling your hips up against his hand, "please."

"So needy," he laughs, but does as you asks, sliding his finger down through your folds and slipping a finger into you. There's no resistance, walls soaked with arousal as your body greedily sucks his finger in. He gives a few experimental thrusts before he's adding a second, the satisfying stretch of his thick fingers making your eyes roll back.

You buck down against his fingers, urging him to go faster. The burning is easing up even more with his fingers inside you, and you're desperate to make it stop so you can think again instead of being controlled by your pussy and the pollen.

"More, need more," you whine, fucking yourself onto his fingers. You feel a third slip in with the others, and you let out a satisfied moan at the feeling of being filled.

Xavier doesn't even have to move his hand, keeping them still as you roll your hips, watching as you desperately chase your high. But it doesn't come, even though you can feel it constantly at the back of you head, lingering.

You lift your foot off of the table to toe at his jeans, pushing at them until he gets the hint to take them the hell off. He gives your cunt a few more thrusts before he's pulling his fingers out of you, undoing he belt before dropping his pants and boxers in on go, letting them pool around his ankles.

His cock is beautifully thick as it sits between his legs, tip flushed and shiny with pre. He wraps the hand still covered in your arousal around his cock, giving himself a few thrusts before he rubbing the tip up through your folds. That touch alone brought you close to the brink, a long moan escaping you as the head of his cock brushes up against your clit.

You're in limbo as he continues to tease you, tip just barely pushing into your waiting hole before he's pulling out and gliding it up to your clit again. Slowly you lay back on the table, the surface ice cold against your over heated skin.

"Xavier please fuck me. Please, please please." You beg, tears forming in the corner of your eyes as you desperately roll up into him just as his tip teases at your hole again.

The little bit he slips in has you both moaning loud and long, Xavier resting both hands on the table as he lets his head hand between his shoulders. His cock continues to slowly slide into you in a way that makes you think it's never going to end, just filling and filling until you swear you can feel him in your stomach. But then he bottoms out, hips pressed flush against yours as he pants above you.

Your walls flutter around him, gripping and trying to pull him in deeper. Xavier groans above you, hips jerking slightly at the sensation. He stays there in you for a moment, still as a rock as he slowly starts to catch his breath. When his breathing is back to normal and he's no longer on the brink of spilling into you, he slowly pulls out, hands gripping the edge of the table by your head tightly.

His thrusts are slow and deep as he splits you open over and over. At first it's great, just being able to feel him in you to soothe the burn. But just like everything else, it's not enough, you want, no, you need more. You can't roll your hips with how close your bodies are pressed together and you choke back a sob of disappointment as you wrap your arms around him.

"More," you whimper, still trying and failing to roll your hips in the tight space between your bodies. You can feel your eyes watering again, staring up at Xavier as he pushes up from your body to stare down at your face, "Please Xavi, need more. Please please please—"

"Hey, shhhh. I'm gonna take care of you, okay pretty girl? Gonna make you feel me in you for days." Xavier whispers right in your ear, voice husky and deep from arousal. The table scrapes across the floor as his hips snap forewords, slamming into you hard enough to have you wailing, head thrown back in pleasure.

Xavier mouths at your exposed neck, hips jackhammering into you at a brutal pace. The wet sound of you dripping pussy fills the room, and through the slowly lifting haze of your arousal, you wonder if there's a student close enough to hear the obscene sounds coming from the greenhouse. But you don't care, mewling in pleasure as Xavier bites at your neck, soothing the abused spot over with his tongue.

Slipping your fingers into his hair, you hold him against your neck as he sucks hickey after hickey into your skin. The overwhelming sensations going on has your walls fluttering around him, choking on a moan as you come harder and quicker than you have in your whole life. Your legs are shaking, head thrown back as you feel the pollen induced haze finally start to lift, the burning heat dissipating.

Xavier gently slides out of you, ignoring your whine of disappointment as he takes himself in hand, furiously jerking himself off as he stares down at you with half lidded eyes. You slowly push yourself up on shaking arms, wrapping an arm around his neck to pull him into a kiss. Your other hand drops down to wrap around the one still jerking himself off, and the brief touch against his sticky erection is all it takes before he's spilling between you, hot cum coating your stomach and breasts.

You're both panting, the sweat on your bodies rapidly cooling in the night air. You shiver, breaking the kiss to wrap your arms around his waist and snuggle into his chest, chasing the warmth of his body.

"Not that I'm complaining," Xavier says, out of breath as a hand soothes up and down your back, "but where did that come from?"

"Flower," you mumble sleepily, a small smile on your face as you tighten your arms around him. Xavier's entire body goes tense in your arms, and the hands that were soothing up and down your back are now gripping your wrists, forcing you to let go of him as he holds them between your bodies, taking a step back.

"Flower, what do you mean..?" He looks back over his shoulder, staring at the new plant you created before his head whips back around, staring at you with wide, horrified eyes, "The pollen. That's the only reason why you— why this happened?"

He lets go of your wrists as if they're burning, quickly pulling his pants and boxers up. His hands fumble with the belt, and you slowly push yourself off of the table and onto unsteady legs.

"Xavier," you call, but he just shakes his head, turning away from you as he buttons up his shirt. He's walking towards the door at the same time, abandoning his things so that he can just get out. Get away from you.

Your wings flutter out, flying you across the room and in front of him faster than your unsteady legs could. He ducks his head when you get in front of him, turning away from your half naked form, "Move."

"No, Xavier. Not until you listen to me," he doesn't try to move again, but he keeps his face stubbornly hidden behind his hair. When your sure he won't try to bolt you take a steadying breath, reaching out to hold his hand in two of yours. His hand stays limp in your grip, but he doesn't pull away.

"This is all I've ever wanted," Xavier scoffs, trying to pull his hand free so he can leave again, but you're quicker, holding onto him tightly so he can't leave, "It is! Not like this, with one of my weird experiments blowing up in my face, but like, after a few dates. I always pictured our first kiss to be after some cute date, on one of those late night walks you like to force me on. Or maybe in your shed where you always look the most comfortable, face all scrunched up when your concentrating and I just can't help but kiss you. I just— this doesn't have to change anything if you don't want it to, but I'm not lying when I say that this was a dream come true."

Your left flying in front of him in silence, waiting desperately for the words to sink in. It takes so long you start to feel your throat close up, thinking the worst, but then he's slowly lifting his head to look up at you, and you can't help but gasp. His eyes are red and haunted, tears streaming down his face and dripping off his chin.

"I didn't..?" Xavier trails over, getting choked up as a fresh set of tears roll down his face, "I didn't take advantage— you actually want me?"

Your heart drops to your stomach, and you quickly let go of his hand to cup his face, wiping the tears away as gently as possible, "No, no no no. I love you, okay? So much. I might have been a bit out of it but I wanted you. Still want you, okay? You did nothing wrong."

He stares up at you, still crying, but instead of that fearful look in his eyes they're filled with hope, a small smile taking over his face. His hands are shaky as the land on your bare waist, barely even touching you at all, "You love me?"

"So much," you say without even a moments hesitation. Your thumbs are still gently rubbing over his cheeks, even as his tears have dried. The smile you get is blinding, his grip tightening on you as he pulls you closer for a kiss that makes your toes curl.

When he pulls back he looks happier than he's ever looked in a long time, hand reaching up to cup your cheek. You lean into it, a probably dopey smile on your face as you stare down at him.

"Love you too. Didn't think I could have this. Have you," Xavier confesses, pulling your flying body closer to his. He presses a quick kiss the the top of you breasts that your bra doesn't cover, right over your pounding heart.

"You have me, for as long as you want." You reply, carding your fingers through his hair. You stay like that for a while, his face pressed into your chest as he breathes you in while you soothe your hands over whatever part of him you can reach.

"Want you forever," he mumbles into you skin, and you can't help the wide grin that takes over your face. You cup his cheeks, tilting his head up so he can face you. You press kisses all over his face, smothering him with all your love before you give in to his huffing and press your lips together.

"Forever sounds perfect."

©︎ pythonees — do not, under any circumstance, repost, plagiarize, modify or translate my work.

#xavier #xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe imagine #xavier smut #xavier x reader #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe smut #Ꮺ. my work #Ꮺ. requested #Ꮺ. smut warning

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itendtothinkalot · 3 months

Text

another one of those fake dating tropes lol

Summary: a series dedicated to fake dating and for what? idk

Genre: romcom, angst, fluffy

Characters: beomgyu x f!reader soobin x f!reader

Words: too many (15818)

Completed (oneshot)

There were many instances in your life when you felt completely and utterly alone in the world but it was never in the presence of your five overly attached best friends. You didn’t know why the six of you clicked. It could’ve been Kai’s innate sense of wit or Beomgyu’s impeccable timing for comedy. The six of you just did.

Sure, your life had been filled with dullness more so than the average person but with friends like these idiots by your side, you were certain you were considered one of the luckiest people on planet Earth.

You loved being independent, your time away from all the drama and constant yelling, you could go on days at a time without seeing a single person. But somewhere deep in your heart, you also yearned for love. Romantic love, of course. None of that platonic ‘friendship is magic’ bullshit that Taehyun would feed you when you’d whine about being single and how you’d probably die alone with 3 cats.

You wanted romantic love. A love that was undying. A love that could only be filled with physical and emotional intimacy. A love that you unfortunately have only ever felt for one of your best friends.

Ahh, unrequited love, a curse that had been bestowed upon you by one of your worst enemies, Cupid.

“I swear to God, you’re gonna get kicked out by Mr Kim.” Kai hushed, pressing his face against Beomgyu. His eyes continuously darted between the backroom where your manager had situated himself then back at Beomgyu, who had his dirty Nike shoes propped up on the barstool next to him.

“First of all, watch the spit, you frog. Also,” Beomgyu scoffed, his lips in between the straw he was viciously nibbling on, wiping the spit that landed on his face from Kai’s aggressive hushing. “We’re paying customers, are we not?”

“Gyu, the milkshake was free.” You said, an eyebrow raised. “I should know. I made it for you and pretended to key it in so our manager wouldn’t know.”

“Well, you should’ve charged me for it.” Beomgyu challenged as he played with the rigid rim of his paper cup; his teeth marks visible.

“You’re a broke law student who can’t even afford cup noodles. I had to pay for your last meal and I’m working in a cafe.” Kai added, his hands still busy wiping the counters. He was doing this so the manager wouldn’t call him out for doing nothing (again).

“Shame on the two of you. Inviting me down here so you could humiliate me in front of Soobin and peepaw.” Beomgyu shook his head gesturing to Yeonjun who had been catching up on his Zs during the whole argument. Lifting his head, Yeonjun flicked his fingers at the back of Beomgyu’s neck before enveloping his head back in his arms.

“Ow!” Beomgyu said through his gritted teeth, rubbing his neck.

A laugh escaped your lips. You patted Yeonjun’s head, “Being unemployed sure takes a toll on the elderly.” You played along earning a smile from Beomgyu.

Yeonjun groaned before lifting his head to look you dead in the eye, “You’re getting too complacent for someone who works in a dead-end cafe.”

“At least I can afford more than just a couple bag of chips. Can you say the same?” You stuck your tongue out. Yeonjun rolled his eyes before sipping on his disgusting left-out-too-long milkshake then resting his head back onto the counter.

“I’m in between interviews.” He mumbled, his face still buried in his arms as he tried to defend what was left of his crumbling dignity.

“Though bashing Yeonjun is my favourite hobby, he’s not wrong. This place is kinda dead. Isn’t it supposed to be lunch hour?” Soobin brought up, looking around the empty cafe before fixing his eyes on you.

“Well, sometimes during rush hour, I’d forget to put the open sign up so I wouldn’t have to clean more tables. Mr. Kim hasn’t noticed it though. He just thinks his marketing strategy of getting the two of us to give out flyers isn’t working.” Kai mumbled putting air quotes around “forget”.

“Low pay fits you, Kai.” Taehyun finally chimed in. “You really shouldn’t be working in this industry. Or in any industry for that matter.”

“Okay, Mr Trust Fund.” Kai sang. “I’m rich! I don’t need a job! I can spend the rest of my life working for my dad!”

“Cut it out, Kai.” Beomgyu defended Taehyun, placing his arms around the younger male.

“You’re only defending him because he’s paying your half of the rent!” Huening retaliated.

“That’s not true! I paid the rent last month!”

“Honestly, you haven’t paid me for 3 months.” Taehyun said, his eyes boring into Beomgyu’s, eliciting a guilty giggle from the Beomgyu.

“Hasn’t it occurred to you that as a rich person, you should and must help the needy?” Beomgyu countered.

“The needy?” Kai sneered, eyes peering through the shaggy long-haired boy.

“Yeah. Me.” Beomgyu deadpanned.

“God, Beomgyu, I will continue paying your half of the rent if you shut up.” Taehyun sighed.

“Truly…a man of good deeds. President Kang! I respect you.” Beomgyu saluted as he wrapped his arms around Taehyun.

“President Kang, can you pay my rent?” Soobin grinned, his hands finding their way to Taehyun’s shoulder.

“You have a job. Stop leeching off of me.” Taehyun spoke, shrugging Soobin’s arms off.

“I don’t think you can count ass kissing as an actual job.” Yeonjun commented, his head finally up, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I don’t kiss my boss’s ass.” Soobin grumbled.

“Well, you slept with her.” Kai reminded, knocking on Soobin’s forehead, a little mischievous grin plastered across his face.

Your head perked up at the sudden confession.

“It was a drunk mistake. How’d you even kn- God, I’m never telling you anything again, Beomgyu.”

“For the record, Kai overheard you telling me through Discord. You should really get a new mic.” Beomgyu said, his mouth filled with stale fries.

Now that piqued your interest.

“So, Scoobs, you slept with…your boss?” You finally spoke up, your eyebrows furrowed.

Panic-stricken, Soobin shook his head profusely, “No…no. Not technically.”

“We’re talking technicalities now?” Yeonjun laughed, slapping Soobin’s back.

“So you didn’t?” You queried. It was evident that he was getting more flustered as time passed without an explanation. His red face painfully contrasted with his blonde hair.

“Oh, you don’t know? Well, well, well, looks like you do keep secrets from your favourite friend after all!” Beomgyu retorted.

“I like you all the same. Maybe not Beomgyu right now though.” Soobin cleared his throat before looking at you. His eyes told you he was guilty. Though of course, you weren’t sure. Maybe that’s what you wanted him to feel.

You didn’t know why it bugged you. Or maybe…you did. But you knew for a fact you didn’t like him sleeping with just about anyone.

“I like you all the same!” Beomgyu mimicked annoyingly, “You two and your silly little games, the rooftop meetups, the Friday lunch hour ice creams, the movie nights…we know who you prefer, Soobin or should I say Scooby…”

Soobin looked at Beomgyu, rolled his eyes and dunked his head then back at you.

“It was just a one-time thing. We were both drunk and I woke up in her apartment the other day at the Christmas party. It was stupid and I would never do it again.” He explained, specifically to you. You weren’t sure why he was trying so hard to convince you to think otherwise.

“Christmas?” You muttered.

Christmas was just 2 weeks ago. Which would explain why Soobin had backed out on the past 2 Friday lunch hour ice cream sessions. You thought.

As much as everything was great when you hung out with your friends, it was also just as dreadful hanging out with someone you had the fattest crush on. Shaking your head, you decided just to ignore this minor yet painful information. It was a one-time thing. He said so and you chose to believe it.

Work was finally over. Despite finding out the person you’ve been in love with for the past 2 years had sex with his boss, it was another average day. It wasn’t like you’d never heard of Soobin’s romantic endeavours before. You were used to it but you wouldn’t say you enjoy the awful sting in your heart.

You sighed as your body hit the bed. Your legs were wrapped around in the blanket that Taehyun had got you for your 21st birthday. He had insisted on getting you a whole bed set because you’d been sleeping on the same club penguin bed sheets since you were 11. You initially declined, claiming that you’d be happy with a gift card to the local supermarket since you were running low on cup ramen but then Soobin said something about how much he loved soft neutral-coloured linens and there you were begging Taehyun for the new set he initially offered. You were pathetic. So pathetic you got Taehyun rolling on the floor laughing when you were on your knees for the linen set you had so kindly declined.

Bzzz…

Your thoughts were interrupted.

Soobin: You up? You: Was about to sleep. Soobin: Rooftop in 5? You: Choc milk??? Soobin: In my pockt. Soobin: Pocket*

How Soobin and you met...was a little unconventional. You happened to move right above Soobin’s apartment when he had trudged to your house to complain about the noise you had made the previous night and accused you of having the worst-sounding sex in history of mankind.

“It’s like if a cat and a dog were-”

You remembered shaking your head, “I’m gonna to have you stop right there. Mr…?”

“Soobin.”

“Ah, Soobin. You see, I would remember having sex last night in this apartment and making questionable mating noises except I moved in…today?” This was followed by a string of apologies mostly from Soobin who had been on his knees.

From that day on, he had visited your house every single day bearing snacks, hoping the both of you didn’t start on the wrong foot. It eventually blossomed and the both of you became inseparable best friends with him introducing you to the rest of them.

“You okay?” You asked, your eyelids closing as you tried your hardest to suppress your yawns. You were sleepy, sure, but you didn’t have the heart to tell Soobin you were knackered. Besides, it was Soobin, you had slaved away till 5am cooking his favourite meals to cheer him up when his first-ever girlfriend had broken up with him…you’re not proud of it but you did love the look on his face when he nuzzled into the crook of your neck declaring how much he loved your chicken soup.

You noticed Soobin fidgeting like he was nervous. His eyes danced across the rooftop, at you then at the lawn chairs then at the fairy lights decorating the washed-up rooftop then back at you. You could see him trying so evidently to avoid your gaze.

“Scooby, are you okay?” You asked again after noticing the look of distress plastered on his handsome face.

“I got a promotion.” The words left his mouth like a bullet train. No pause. No emotion. No nothing.

“That’s amazing!” Your fatigue washed away as soon as you heard the good news. You jumped into his arms and hugged him as tightly as you could. “Congratulations!” Though, you were a little confused with the sudden promotion. Was it because he slept with his boss? You quietly thought to yourself.

“No, I got it before I even slept with her and besides she’s in a different department, she doesn’t have a say.” He sped through the explanation like he knew what you were thinking.

“Scoobs, that’s wonderful. I’m happy for you!” You smiled, lifting your arms to hug him, inching closer.

“It’s in New York.”

You could hear a pin drop. The silence engulfed the two of you. You were hoping Beomgyu would come out in an ugly baggy tuxedo shouting “YOU JUST GOT PRANK’D SON!” like he had one time during your birthday when they switched out your cake for cardboard but minutes passed and no one but the crickets were talking. It was just the right time for you to fall back onto the lawn chair, maybe miss the lawn chair and hit your head so it’d crack open so you couldn’t see the love of your life walk out on you.

“For how long?”

“2 years.” Soobin mumbled.

Your arms untangle from Soobin’s, you looked at him confused before a smile returned to your face.You couldn’t let him know you were upset.

“Are you gonna accept the offer?” You asked, a smile still covering your progressive state of panic, trying your best to stay impartial towards your best friend.

“I don’t know. The salary’s amazing, a huge jump from my current pay. The company provides – accommodation, transportation, medical benefits and a whole ton of shit that I never had.”

“That’s amazing,” You said before pausing, the pause took longer than you’d initially expected, “But you don’t seem too happy.”

“It’s just…” Soobin sighed, his legs giving up. He fell to his knees and cradled himself next to the wall. You found yourself moving from the lawn chair as you made your way towards the taller male. You placed a hand on his knee as you sat beside him and laid your head on his shoulder. “So so so fucking far.” His voice broke. His eyes forming tears but he turned away before you could see it fall. “From everyone. From you.”

You ignored the heart palpitations you were having. If you ignored it, maybe it’d go away.

“Soobin…” You used his real name, hoping he’d know that you were serious. You turned his face toward you, looking at him in adoration. “I don’t want- we don’t want to be the reason you didn’t take this great fucking opportunity and it’s only 2 years. Soobin, you’ve worked so har-”

Soobin cuts you off, “It’s not the same. I want to be with you guys. We promised that we’d be here when Yeonjun finally finds his passion. God, I’m going to miss Beomgyu’s graduation. I can’t leave! We haven’t even gotten to see the sunrise together in Bukchon! We haven’t gone on the camping trip we’ve been planning since high school! What’s Kai going to do when he finds out that I’m leaving? He’s like a son to me. Dear God, what if Taehyun hunts me down and-” He rambled on and on.

“Soobin,” You cut him off. “stop thinking about us and start thinking about what YOU want to do. You’ve wanted to be a journalist for so long.” You took a deep breath. “Soobs, you graduated at the top of your class. You pulled an all-nighter every single day for three weeks before your final exam. You put up with shitty intern supervisors for this very opportunity! You’re finally achieving your dream!”

“You don’t get it.” Soobin sighed, a hint of frustration in his voice.

“What don’t I get?” You mirrored his annoyance.

Soobin had worked so hard, you were almost furious that he was fighting NOT to go. He would be stupid to reject an offer that could potentially elevate his career and here he was upset he couldn’t go camping with the 5 of you in a shitty forest in your old boring neighbourhood.

“It’s not my dream.” He said, his eyebrows furrowing. His hands moved to the sides of your arms, gripping onto them. You looked up, slightly puzzled at his firmness.

“Soobin, I saw your vision board. It was in big red letters, right next to ‘Meet Bebe Rexha’.” You mumbled.

The vision board was something Soobin had done to stay consistent with the goals he had set up for himself when he was 11. The board was made from his first laptop box, it was cut up and pasted on his wall. Torn up pieces of newspaper, magazines and notes with his goals pasted on the edges of the board with the words ‘SOOBIN’S DREAMS’ written across the middle. It started when he was in middle school, he’d paste pictures of grades he manifested, vacation spots he wanted to visit. He’d done everything on the vision board. You couldn’t be the reason for him to stop finishing what he started.

“The vision board was made before I met you.” He replied.

“What does that have to do with anything?” You said, yawning mid way. You lifted your head up to look over to him. His gaze dead set on you. The butterflies in your stomach were much more active that night, violently fighting their way out of your stomach. His hands had found its way to your thigh, as it grazed up and down, up and down, comforting you in this dreadful situation. His soft, slender fingers traced comforting patterns on your thigh, a gesture of reassurance amid uncertainty, your silent connection speaking volumes.

Soobin cleared his throat, “I…um…I guess what I’m trying to say is that this dream…” He paused and gestured between the two of you with his hands. “that you think I’m…uh, achieving? It’s not complete. Not complete at all.” His voice falters like he was about to say something stupid.

“What’s missing?” You gulped, nervous. The movement of his hands on your thighs stop as he moves them to your face.

His eyes shifted to yours. “You.”

“Oh.” You replied.

“I like you.” Soobin confessed. “And I know you like me too.”

“What? I neve-”

“Yeonjun can be a blabbermouth when he’s drunk.”

“That fiend.” You muttered under your breath causing Soobin to chuckle.

“I like you. I like you so much.” He paused, more eager. “God, I think about you all the time, when I sleep, when I eat. You’re in my head all the time. I literally wake up and go, ‘I wonder what she’s doing today?’. The vision board isn’t my future. You are.”

You didn’t say anything. You didn’t really know what to say.

“Just say the word and I won’t go.”

—------------------

2 years later

“I look stupid.” You said, looking at yourself in the mirror. A shimmery blue beaded dress tugged on your waist as you found yourself being tossed and turned by Yeonjun as if you were some kind of ragdoll.

“You look wonderful, now hold still. I’m a second away from being annoyed at you.” Yeonjun said, pinching the side of your waist to keep you from fidgeting.

“Ouch!” You felt a pin poke your sides, you jumped at the feeling before Yeonjun smacked your arms.

“Don’t be such a baby.” Yeonjun ridiculed, before spinning you around to take a good look at you. “You look great.”

“Do I really?” You asked, clear confusion on your face, you eyed yourself in the mirror. You looked like a helpless little girl stuck in a bunch of blue glittery fabric.

“Could you relax? You’re wearing a Yeonjun original. Of course, you look good.” Yeonjun grinned, pride evident on his face. You couldn’t help but beam at your friend.

Yeonjun found his place designing dresses for a boutique for his aunt about a year ago and you were incredibly happy for him especially after the difficulties he had faced finding the right job for him.

“Gyu, what do you think?” You turned to face Beomgyu, who had little to no interest and twirled for him.

“Gyu…CHOI BEOMGYU!” Yeonjun yelled.

“WHAT?!” Beomgyu rolled his eyes, placing the magazine he was reading onto his lap, looking up at you and Yeonjun, “I was in the middle of reading an article! Hilary Duff’s secrets to conquering acne and online haters—front cover exclusive.”

You laughed and spun for him, “Gyu, how do I look?”

“The dress is good.” He said nonchalantly before turning back to his magazine.

“That’s all?” Yeonjun pestered.

“What am I supposed to fucking say?” Beomgyu groaned.

“Something descriptive? Or helpful!” Yeonjun urged.

“I know how to be helpful. It’s officially been 2 years since Soo-…” Beomgyu finally chimed in.

“Don’t bring him up.” Yeonjun cuts Beomgyu off. “We were having a nice time.”

“We’re seeing him next week so I don’t know why you’re being all… skittish about the situation.” Beomgyu retaliated.

Yeonjun’s hand found his way to yours, lending a hand of comfort after he had noticed your clear discomfort when Soobin was mentioned.

“I’m fine. It’ll be nice seeing him. Have you guys…um… spoken to him recently?” You asked, hoping someone would have at least some news about him.

“Not since the second month he left. ‘I’ll e-mail you guys everyday’ turned out to be a month and a half before he started posting cute pictures of himself on instagram in ugly turtlenecks. Who does he think he is? Steve Jobs? And for the love of God, who actually posts their girlfriend that much on a daily basis? I do not care for your ugly girlfriend.” Beomgyu spat bitterly.

“Gyu.” You warned.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot we weren’t haters anymore so I’ll rephrase. I do care…” he looked at the two of you and shook his head. “for his bug-eyed, self-absorbed, irritating, conniving, little minx of a girlfriend. See? I can be descriptive.”

You rolled your eyes, shoving his arm before chuckling. Despite his hatred for everything, you adored Beomgyu. He had a way of saying shit that just made you forget why you were upset in the first place.

“Well, he sent me a heart eye emoji on a shirtless picture I posted on stories the other day. Though I think that might’ve been a mistake.” Yeonjun cleared his throat.

“Posting that picture was a mistake. A horrid shirtless picture at 8am? A new low even for you.” Beomgyu said before catching a flying pillow that was hurtling towards him.

“I will end you.” Yeonjun threatened.

“Sure, peepaw. Anyway,” Beomgyu sighed, focusing his attention back on you. “Have you guys talked?”

“No. We haven’t talked since the day he left.”

—-----

“I’ll e-mail you guys everyday! Facetime, instagram, hell, I’d even use Facebook for you turds! I promise.”

“For the record, Facebook is a great social media platform.” Kai said defensively.

“We get it. One of your videos got viral on that old people's platform.” Taehyun rolled his eyes.

The five of you trailed behind Soobin, with bags of gifts in your arms because Soobin couldn’t “leave you guys empty-handed”. That just meant he gave you a bunch of rubbish he didn’t need for New York.

Soobin huffed, his eyes welling with tears. “Fuck, I don’t wanna go.”

“You have to. You’ll be back in 2 years and we’ll be back at Mr Kim’s diner once again bickering about stupid shit like we always have. And don’t worry! We’ll come to visit the moment Yeonjun gets a job so he can pay for his air ticket.” Kai chuckled.

“I HAVE a job!” Yeonjun retaliated.

“You went to one interview.”

“And the lady said she’d call!”

“I think we should focus on the fact Soobin is leaving.” Taehyun muttered.

“No. Don’t. I’ll miss your stupid arguments and how stupid everything Beomgyu says is.”

“At least someone appreciates me.” Beomgyu beamed.

Your heart fastened as you felt the 6 of you inch closer to the departure hall. Every single memory of Soobin and you had replayed in your mind. The last-minute movie dates, the overnight calls, burning the midnight oil as you studied through your last year of college together.

“Soobin.” You singled him out from the rest, pulling onto his baggy sweatshirt. You dragged him to the corner with your 4 remaining friends making kissy noises at the back.

“Ooooo~ Soobin. I love you.”

“Hm?” You and Soobin were away from the others, standing by a charging station opposite his departure gate.

He fidgeted with his passport, peeling the cover and putting it back on.

“I’ll wait for you,” you finally said.

“And I’ll be back. Two years,” Soobin promised, kissing your cheek, the warmth lingering.

“Two years,” you nodded.

Soobin turned away but hesitated, feeling glued to the spot. Suddenly, he spun back around, grabbing your face with both hands and pressing his lips to yours.

When he finally pulled back, both of you were breathless. “I love you,” he whispered again, his forehead resting against yours.

“I love you too,” you replied, your voice shaky but certain.

There it was. The most pain you had ever felt. You’ve gotten hurt a lot of times in the past. When Yeonjun ran over your foot with his new hoverboard. When Beomgyu said you looked stupid wearing your favourite beret. When your middle school crush threw a ball straight to your face. When you fell off the stairs after tripping over your shoelaces. Your parents saying you’d never live up to your cousin. A whole ton of shit.

But this? This was a thousand times worse than everything combined.

—

“Good lord, I did not realise Haechan had this many friends.” Taehyun gulped as the five of you entered the wedding hall. Decorated in the ugliest laced curtains you had ever seen, you kept the look of disgust in your head. Though who were you to complain, you couldn’t even get over someone you liked 2 years ago.

“It’s a miracle he managed to settle down.” Beomgyu whispered, referring to how Haechan has had quite the run when he was still single, living in an apartment with like 5 other frat guys naming themselves ‘dreamies’ or something like that.

“Table 34? That’s all the way at the back!” Kai breathed, annoyed. “And to think I was his cheat sheet in high school.”

“You gave him a C+ at best.” Taehyun commented.

“A C+ that I studied for!”

“Let it go, Kai. At least we’re at the same table.” You consoled, staring at yourtable card.

“Thirty-fi-...Hold up. What the fuck. I’m at table 35!” Beomgyu spat.

“It’s probably because of that one time you stole his sandwich.” Yeonjun reminded us.

“It was a tuna sandwich. Who gives a shit? Hey, someone switch with me. I see Lucas at table 35 and I am not ready to sit with his big ass head blocking my view.” He growled.

“No.” The four of you chimed.

Beomgyu groaned. Ignoring his sulky gaze towards you, you looked over to table 34. Your eyes scanned the seats for your name.

Ah, there it was. A white chair draped in fancy lace and a ton of shit Haechan probably paid too much for. A chair that was…

Right next to Choi Soobin.

No…no…no. This couldn’t be happening to you.

“Hey, on second thought, Gyu. I’ll gladly change my seats with you.”

“What’s with the sudd-” Beomgyu glanced at your seat. “Yeah, I’ll take a chance with big head. Good luck.”

“Gyu!” You begged.

“Big hea- Lucas!” He called out before running over to the big goof at table 35.

“Guys, I swear to God, don’t leave me alone with him.” Your eyes filled with desperation.

“We won’t. Unlike Beomgyu, we actually love and cherish y- Oh my god, Taehyun, they have crepes here. I REPEAT! THEY HAVE CREPES!” Kai squeaked, pulling Taehyun towards the food.

“And then there were two.” Yeonjun sighed, placing a hand on your back.

“Jun…” You cried.

“I’m right here. I won’t go anywhere.” Yeonjun reassured you before leading you to your table.

You could feel your heart bursting out of your chest. In no way shape or form were you ready to see him waltz in with his plus one that so happened to be the big boss he slept with 2 years ago. Coincidence? You doubt it. Everyday you thought of the possibility of what could’ve been and it has sucked you back to misery every. Single. Time.

You sat next to Yeonjun and fiddled with the hem of your skirt. Your legs were shaking from nerves. Your eyes shifted across the room, hoping he wasn’t going to show up. But lo and behold, the monster of your nightmare strutting in with his beautiful girlfriend.

“Good God.” Kai whispered as he walked back to the table with crepes in his hand. “Here he comes.”

“Hm, Gyu was right. She does have bug eyes.” Taehyun added.

“Dude!” Yeonjun exclaimed, hitting Taehyun’s arms. “They’re coming! Act normal. Like we weren’t just talking about them!”

The four of you looked away trying to avoid eye contact with your former friend. You felt the chair beside you being filled when Kai burst out laughing.

“God! Yeonjun, HAHA, yes. Yep. I remember that incident. A while ago. It was crazy. Crazy.” Kai yelled aloud.

“Play it cool.” Taehyun elbowed Kai who was in a reasonable state of panic.

Soobin cleared his throat, twiddling his thumbs.

“Hey guys, it’s been a long time.” He begun.

The four of you glanced over to him, simultaneously nodding before looking back at each other.

“Yeah. 2 years?” Yeonjun replied, avoiding eye contact with the taller fellow.

“Um, yeah,” Soobin said. “This is my girlfriend.”

This time you spoke but not before clearing your throat, “Uh, yes. Hello.” You nodded in her direction before turning your attention back to Yeonjun.

You tugged onto Yeonjun’s shirt, mouthing, ‘Save me’. You knew if you had to look at them any longer you would start feeling pity for yourself and soon enough you’d start crying at a wedding you didn’t even give a shit about.

“It’s been a long time, Soobin. You’ve missed a lot.” Yeonjun spoke, you could feel Soobin tense up beside you. Probably from Yeonjun’s tone.

“Oh yeah?” You heard Soobin ask. Your eyes were still on Yeonjun.

“Well for starters, Kai finally found a corporate job.” Taehyun started.

“Yep. I’m a slave to capitalism now. Taehyun’s assistant at your service.” Kai chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. He sipped his large glass of wine, looked away then twiddled with his thumbs. It was clear that the lovely Huening Kai hated these types of situations.

“Yeonjun too! He’s a fashion designer.” You managed to fumble out trying your darndest to be casual when your eyes moved over to observe Soobin for a fleeting moment before deciding that maybe it was too early to even look at him. One look and your friends understood your desperation to leave. Calmly trying to take over the conversation, Yeonjun opened his mouth to speak when Soobin beat him to it.

“What about you?”

“Why do you care?” You replied instantly before regretting how rude you probably sounded. “I mean, I’m a kindergarten teacher.”

“Well, you were always good with kids. It fits you.” Soobin said with so much sincerity in his voice you almost regret replying him with that much hostility. Almost.

“Mhm.” You nodded, still looking away.

“Uh, how about you?” Yeonjun asked, gesturing to Soobin.

God, how much you would PAY to have Beomgyu swoop into save you.

2 years ago, you’d never have thought that any of you would be in this awkward situation.. Hell, Soobin used to be your escape and now he was just someone you feared seeing. As time passed, it seemed that your friendship was almost nothing but faint memories.

“Well, uh…” Soobin began.

“We’re great.” His girlfriend chimed in. “Hi, I know you’ve probably seen me in his instagram stories.To answer your question, a few things are in store for both of us. Mr Choi here has a soon-to-be promotion coming up and Mrs Choi here is really proud.” She announced, shoving her finger in front of the four of you.

Your heart dropped. Despite being left for two years, maybe somewhere in your heart, you had still hoped he’d see what he was missing and come crawling back to you. Then maybe your happy ending could finally start. But that goal seemed a little too far fetched now.

The diamond rock stared at you and then eventually mocked you for being ugly and single.

Yeonjun’s eyes widened before sputtering out a bunch of words – congrats or something like that, you honestly couldn’t comprehend the conversation any further. Then you felt yourself being pulled back into this dreadful event when Yeonjun nudged you.

“I said…what about you? Are you seeing anyone?” She sneered, her attention glued on you, lifting an eyebrow, almost expectant to hear the answer she wanted.

After what seemed like hours, you mustered the courage to glance at Soobin, who was already watching you curiously. Once best friends, the word "love" had been thrown around casually. Yet, you didn’t want him prying into your private life, especially with his impending marriage.

“I…uh…” You stammered, unable to comprehend the situation or even form a proper sentence.

“Actually,” Yeonjun spoke. “Beomgyu and her have been dating for awhile now.”

“What?!” You exclaimed, your eyes wide at the sudden accusation.

You were upset about two things: first, this dreadful lie Yeonjun just spouted and second, that you weren’t able to catch Soobin’s reaction. Was he hurt? Was he angry? Was he feeling how you were feeling? Slightly betrayed, slightly hurt and just really hungry…God, who were you kidding? You couldn’t even stomach food with Soobin’s shoulder knocking onto yours every few seconds.

Upset by the lie and missing Soobin's reaction, you noticed Yeonjun’s unnerving nonchalance.

“Oh come on. Soobin’s an old friend. We can trust him,” Yeonjun lied smoothly, munching on crackers.

Kai and Taehyun, equally confused, looked at you in disbelief. Kai, his lips trembling, added, “Yeah, they’re really cute together. It was a shocker.”

Taehyun gulped, “You can’t imagine how surprised we were.”

“The most adorable couple I know! You should really hear the story of how Beomgyu asked her out. It was so cute!” Yeonjun added enthusiastically.

“Speaking of boyfriends, here he comes now!” Taehyun shouted, pointing at Beomgyu, who was strutting over with a goofy grin.

“You guys will not believe what Lucas said to me!” Beomgyu yelled over the loud music.

“Not the time,” Kai mumbled, gesturing to Soobin with his eyes.

Beomgyu’s grin faded as he noticed the tension in the group and quickly caught on to the situation.

“What?” Beomgyu said, confused before realising Soobin was right there. “Oh. It’s you. Hi bro. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? You look great for someone who left his best friends hanging for 2 years but great, nonetheless.”

You snorted, feeling a bit more confident with Beomgyu’s tactless honesty. With him around, you strangely always felt 2 times more powerful – like you had no fear because if anyone were to tell you off Beomgyu would be glad to do it back to them. Probably even worse than they had done to you.

Beomgyu pulled out his phone, rereading Yeonjun's text, then gasped aloud.

“Babe, I thought you said you weren’t ready to tell anyone!” Beomgyu exclaimed, resting his arms on your shoulders as he knelt beside your chair.

If you weren’t in on this, you’d believe you were in a relationship with Beomgyu. Their acting was top-notch.

“I didn’t think Yeonjun would announce it,” you lied.

“God, you know what? I am kind of glad that it’s out. I can finally tell the world that you’re mine.” Beomgyu grinned before planting a kiss on your cheek. “Soobin, I believe I have yet to tell you about how we first got together.”

“Uh…” Soobin stammered, almost wanting to decline.

“Thank you for asking me. Well…it was a few months after you left. She had been crying over your move for like two months, it was like really terrible. Constant tears, just blueh-” Beomgyu started, earning a glare from you.

“Babe…it’s part of the story. Stop looking at me like that. Did you know glaring can affect your aging? We can’t have you looking 60 when we haven’t had our first child.”

“Sorry.” You apologised even though you didn’t know why. He was, technically, embarrassing you. Your cheeks pinked when you felt Soobin look over to you.

“Anyway I was like shit, why does it hurt me so much to see her hurting? So I talked to Yeonjun –”

“That’s me.” Yeonjun raised his hands, inserting himself into a situation he started.

“This isn’t about you…” Beomgyu paused, grabbing Yeonjun’s hand and shoving it away. “I consulted Yeonjun and was like dude why the fuck am I so sad when she’s sad?”

“Yeah and I was like maybe you lik-” Yeonjun interrupted.

“Yeonjun, please!” Beomgyu grunted. "Anyway, he was like, 'Maybe you like her?' And I sat there for weeks thinking about it before I realized I did like her. Her hair smells like flowers, and she giggles so cutely at cat pictures. She’s always there for me. Every single time I feel dread, she’s there. She…” Beomgyu pauses, glancing at you with a gentle smile.

“Look at her. She’s…well, she’s undeniably beautiful. When I look at her, my troubles just melt away. Nothing in the world matters except for me and her.” Beomgyu's voice softened with every word, each one filled with sincerity.

You looked over to Beomgyu, feeling a warm blush spread across your cheeks, even though you knew he was pretending.

The two of you might have been staring at each other for a minute too long. Yeonjun cleared his throat.

“Uh. Right. Anyway, despite this, I didn’t really wanna ruin the friendship but I thought I’d rather try than leave and feel empty. Of course, she didn’t feel the same way since she was too busy being hung up on someone who wasn’t. even. there.”

You felt Soobin shift in his seat. He cleared his throat

“Well, I changed my mind eventually, didn’t I?” You added. A sudden surge of confidence pulsed through your veins. You wanted to lie. You wanted to believe that you were okay when Soobin left. You wanted Soobin to know that you didn’t need him. In fact, you didn’t want him. And you didn’t spend like 2-3 months moping in your house, crying over the fact he moved on and you didn’t.

“She didn’t like me back at first. So I went to Kai and Taehyun for some more advice and Kai was unsupportive at first, telling me how he didn’t want to lose another friend but you know Taehyun and Yeonjun convinced him and here we are.”

“Then what happened?” You asked, intrigued by Beomgyu’s story.

“Weren’t you there when it happened?” Soobin’s girlfriend piped in.

“Yeah. But I like it when my baby tells the story.” You glared back at her before wrapping your arms around Beomgyu’s waist.

“Well…I, uh, I told her on her birthday. I gave her a necklace with a picture of us we took on the day I took her out to cheer her up. We went to a photobooth and she kissed my cheek for the first time so I printed the photo and placed it in the necklace and told her I liked her and here we are.”

You looked down at your necklace. Well, Beomgyu wasn’t lying about one thing.

—-

“Okay, my turn!” Beomgyu exclaimed, handing you a personalised pink box.

“What is it?” You asked, curiosity evident. You shook the box, a single metal-like item knocking on the walls of the boxes.

“You have hands. You can open the box.” Beomgyu joked.

Your fingers graced the velvet box, “God, the box is so pretty.”

“I know how much of a sucker you are for ornate boxes.”

You grinned at your best friend. He did know you. Maybe a little too much.

Beomgyu searched your eyes for any sign of excitement and when he got a squeak from you, he knew you were. His nerves finally settled down when you finally opened the box revealing a chain necklace with a single heart hanging off.

“Gyu!” You cried, opening the locket. “It’s so pretty and –the picture! This is so cute!”

You squealed and jumped into his arms, wrapping yours around his much larger exterior. “Thank you!”

His hand found their way to your back, his fingers played with the wrinkles of your shirt, “I’m glad you liked it. I have one just like it so if we ever get lost and separated, I’ll know how to find you.” Beomgyu grinned.

“Why would we ever get separated?” You asked, looking at him through your eyelashes.

“There could be zombies.”

“Zombie, no zombie, we’re literally together 24/7. Let’s face it, I’d probably get bitten in the first 2 hours and you’d probably let me infect you because you got lazy or something.”

“You’re right. We wouldn’t make it. You know who would?”

“Taehyun.” You both sang.

—---

“You think he bought it?” you asked with a smirk as you swung open your apartment door. Chucking your shoes into the cabinet next to the entrance, you flopped down onto your sofa. Beomgyu followed suit, collapsing into the bean bag chair.

“I think Kai showing Soobin that video of us kissing at the New Year's party really sealed the deal,” Beomgyu replied with a grin.

“It’s a good thing the sound wasn’t on, or else he’d hear a loud ‘I TOLD YOU THEY’D DO IT FOR TWENTY’,” you mimicked Yeonjun's bet with Taehyun, recalling the hilarious wager over your New Year's kiss. In your defense, it was all in good fun, and the $20 came in handy during your ramen days.

“Look at us now! Gainfully employed adults who don’t have to resort to crazy dares for lunch money,” Beomgyu chuckled.

“I wouldn’t consider kissing you a crazy dare,” you quipped after a pause.

“You don’t think kissing your best friend is crazy?” Beomgyu raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t think kissing you is crazy,” you said casually.

“Oh,” Beomgyu cleared his throat. “Why not?”

“I don’t know. I just know I wouldn’t kiss Tae, Kai, or Jun.”

“Hm?”

“Seems gross. Lightly verging on incestuous,” you laughed, switching on the TV to distract yourself. The conversation shifted as a dating show you both enjoyed came on, pulling you into its drama-filled world.

After a while, Beomgyu broke the silence. “I feel the same way.”

“Huh?” you turned to him in surprise.

“I wouldn’t kiss Tae, Kai, or Jun either. Or anyone else, for that matter. Seems gross.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his words, your heart warming at the shared sentiment.

The corners of your lip turned upward.

—---

Beomgyu’s eyes remained fixated on you as you twirled around in front of the mirror, and he couldn’t help but feel like he was witnessing something magical. His heart skipped a beat as he admired how the dress accentuated every graceful movement you made.

“Gyu…”

“CHOI BEOMGYU!”

“What?!” Beomgyu snapped, trying to appear engrossed in the magazine in his hands. “I was in the middle of reading an article! Hilary Duff’s secrets to conquering acne and online haters—front cover exclusive.” He held up the magazine proudly, hoping his distraction tactic worked.

You giggled, “Gyu, how do I look?”

“The dress is... um, good,” Beomgyu stuttered, his cheeks turning pink as he peeked over the magazine. ‘Good?’ He mentally scolded himself. ‘Could you be any more awkward?’ He wanted to say you looked breathtaking, enchanting, but the words seemed to escape him in that moment.

“That’s all?” Yeonjun teased from behind his own magazine, grinning mischievously at Beomgyu.

“Can I live?” Beomgyu shot back, feeling Yeonjun’s teasing intensify his embarrassment.

In his head, Beomgyu cursed Yeonjun’s nosiness. Maybe keeping his feelings for you a secret would have been a better idea.

—--------

“What the fuck was that?” Beomgyu exploded as he stormed into his apartment, Yeonjun trailing behind with a thousand apologies.

“I said I was sorry! I panicked!” Yeonjun exclaimed, his voice filled with regret.

“Undo what you just did,” Beomgyu demanded, pacing back and forth in the living room.

“I can’t! You saw how hurtful Soobin's new girlfriend was! I didn’t want our best friend to feel even worse seeing the love of her life get married while she’s here, still hung up on him,” Yeonjun reasoned, trying to justify his impulsive actions.

“So you drag me into it?” Beomgyu questioned sharply, clearly displeased.

“You were dragged into it when you told me you liked her! Face it, Gyu, everything you said today about the two of you was true, except that you didn’t actually tell her you like her.”

“And for good reason!” Beomgyu shot back. “You saw how worked up she was over Soobin! She even agreed to fake date me just to get back at him!”

“Maybe it’s a good thing!” Yeonjun attempted to console him.

“Yeah, totally! I agree. Being her fake boyfriend is so much better than being her real one! Thank you, Yeonjun! You really are Cupid! Maybe I should invite you to our fake wedding! We could have fake kids too!” Beomgyu yelled, his sarcasm dripping with frustration.

“Okay, maybe I haven’t thought it all the way through, but according to this ridiculous post by Soobin’s girlfriend, they’re going to be here all month. So why don’t you two start posting cute couple shit, first convince Soobin that you got the girl, and then actually get the girl?” Yeonjun suggested with a mischievous grin.

“What kind of sick, twisted, and insane plan is that?” Beomgyu felt his last shred of sanity being pushed out the window by Yeonjun's outrageous suggestion.

“A really, really bad one,” Yeonjun admitted sheepishly, realizing the mess he had inadvertently created.

—-----------

"So we’re doing this?" Beomgyu gulped nervously.

"I guess. I mean, how hard is it to act like we’re in love? You and Yeonjun do it all the time," you teased lightly.

"I’m gonna need you to take whatever you said back," Beomgyu replied with a mock shudder.

"Should our first date be at Lotte World then? I heard senior citizens get half off. We can bring Yeonjun," you joked, chuckling at the thought.

Your humour eased some of Beomgyu's tension, though it also stirred something deeper within him. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that you had grown closer to Beomgyu after Soobin's departure. You practically lived at his place, even having your own drawer there now. While Beomgyu wasn't trying to replace Soobin, he had become Your Beomgyu in a way that was uniquely yours.

“MAY DAY!” Kai’s voice echoed through the hallways as he barged into Beomgyu’s room, phone in hand. “Look!” He shoved the phone screen in front of Beomgyu's face.

Soobin: Great seeing you guys the other day! We should hang out again. Maybe just the 6 of us like old times.

“Did you reply?” Beomgyu asked, trying to mask his concern.

“I…”

“Kai…”

“LOOK! I panicked and said okay! DON’T KILL ME!” Kai screamed.

You and Beomgyu exchanged a glance, silently agreeing to a plan that would convince Soobin you were indeed in a real relationship.

“We’ll do it,” you both said in unison.

“What?” Kai looked bewildered.

“I want to do it. It’s a chance to show him that I’ve moved on,” you explained firmly.

“You’ve moved on like this far,” Kai teased, stretching his arm toward Beomgyu.

“What’s wrong with dating me?” Beomgyu joked back, though inwardly, he couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever date him if it was a different circumstance.

—--

“Hold my right hand.” Beomgyu insisted.

The two of you were walking to the diner that the 6 of you were supposed to meet up at. It was strange since the last time you were there, you and Huening were manning the counter, Beomgyu had shaggy black hair that made him look like delinquent…(well a cute delinquent but you weren’t going to let Beomgyu know that, it was gonna go to his head), Yeonjun was unemployed, Taehyun minding his own business as usual and well when Soobin…was the love of your life.

“What? Why?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“My right hand says I wuv you baby while my left hand says lets game bro!” He lifted his left arm, flexing his muscles to you.

“Beomgyu, I swear to God, if you don’t stop doing that I’ll fake break up with you right now.”

“Okay, sorry. Geez.” Beomgyu rested his arms across your waist, giving your sides a gentle squeeze. “Nervous?”

“Well…I’m fake dating my best friend to get back at my ex-crush who promised he’d wait for me and then got together with the woman he said he didn’t have any feelings for and is now engaged to her. Yeah. Kinda.” You rambled, sweat dripping down your forehead.

“Look, it’s just the 6 of us today. No weird looks from the loony with the bug eyes.” Beomgyu tried reassuring you.

“It wasn’t her I was worried about. It’s Soobin.”

“Oh.”

“It’s stupid.” You sighed, feeling your body tense as you inched closer to the familiar neighbourhood.

“Try me.”

“It’s just…when I look at him, it’s like I’m 18 again. The feelings come rushing back when I don’t want it to. I was an idiot then.”

“You’re not an idiot.” Beomgyu pursed his lips before continuing. “You’re you. You love hard and you mourned what could’ve been. You’re a person with feelings and I- we love you for that.”

Blood rushed to your cheeks. The feeling of shyness overwhelmed you.

Clearing your throat, you pointed up to the diner, “There it is.”

You felt your throat closing up. Were you really about to fake date your best friend who you supposedly had no feelings for just to get back at someone who you liked 2 years ago? Were you about to stoop so low just to feel like you’ve gotten back at him? What were you aiming to achieve?

“There’s the lovebirds!” Kai’s voice echoed throughout the little cafe.

The place still looked the same. The crooked paintings on the wall, the jagged tear on the booth sofa that Kai made when he dropped a pair of scissors and the rusty wall decor that your manager insisted on keeping though you said the customers complained about its stench. Oddly enough, the stench was strangely comforting to you. It reminded you of the old times.

Your eyes found its way to Soobin, who was wearing a tight black shirt that clung onto his body for its dear life, khaki pants that accentuated his calves and a pair of black converse. His jet black hair slicked back with gel as he unintentionally flexed his arm, gripping onto the large glass of milkshake with his left hand. God, he was gorgeous. Fuck. You thought.

As you took a seat between Taehyun and Beomgyu, you felt his piercing gaze burn holes through your head.

“Well, never thought I’d see the six of us back here.” Beomgyu spoke after the painful and excruciating minute of silence.

“Can’t believe Mr. Kim still keeps that hideous picture of us up there.” Kai pointed to the featured wall.

Mr. Kim, your old manager, had a wall dedicated to employees of the month. Kai had been employee of the month for 3 months straight while you for 2. On a technicality, you were the only two people who worked for him for these 5 months.

“Aw come on, at least you look cute in yours. I look like a sloth. Look at my eyebags.” You laughed.

“I think you look pretty.”

You looked up, locking eyes with Soobin who had just called you words you never thought you’d ever hear come out from his pretty little mouth.

“Thank you?” You squeezed Beomgyu’s hand.

“Thank you on behalf of my girlfriend. I guess I’ve finally found one thing we both can agree on.”

“Your eyebags were horrendous.” Taehyun brought up, shaking his head.

“They were.” You groaned, “You guys didn’t think to get me collagen masks for my birthday?”

“We got you something better.” Beomgyu said. “Remember?”

“You guys got me a custom pillow with Chris Evans on the front.” You sighed.

“THAT WASN’T MY IDEA!” Yeonjun yelled, “It was Soobin’s!”

“Only because she said she wanted to marry him!” Soobin defended himself. “She was in love with him all throughout college!”

“Well, it could still happen!” You fought.

“Doesn’t he already have a girlfriend?” Kai chuckled. “Oh wait a minute. Don’t YOU already have one?”

“I’m pretty sure Gyu would be okay with me leaving him for Chris Evans.” You giggled.

“Don’t worry. We have a pact. She can bump Chris Evans if I can bump Scarlett Johansson.”

“They’re on our list.” You joked along.

It was strange. You felt like you were 18 again. Laughing away like nothing could hurt you. Like Soobin hadn’t left.

“So…um…Soobin, when’s the big wedding?” Yeonjun asked.

This got you interested. When was the big wedding? How did they even find time to fall in love between the 2 months of Soobin moving in? What happened to “she’s not even in this department” or “she didn’t have anything to do with my promotion?” You were having thoughts. Bitter thoughts.

“Next month.” Soobin answered.

The atmosphere died. Taehyun who was sitting beside you stiffened.

“We weren’t invited?” Taehyun spoke. He had always been the more direct one out of all of you. Though Beomgyu was talking shit most of the time, you still knew he had moments when he couldn’t naturally articulate his anger..

“Guys…”

A pregnant pause engulfed the entirety of the room. Taehyun sighed before finally bursting.

“No, seriously. First you leave us, and after 2 months you just stopped contacting us altogether. You got with someone you promised was a one night stand. You left our best friend waiting on your stupid fuckboy ass and didn’t update us about anything, came back 2 years later saying you’re getting married to said one night stand and didn’t invite us to your wedding? God…we were so off when we voted Yeonjun as the first person to leave the friend group.” Taehyun rambled.

“Hey! What the fuck. When did this voting take place?” Yeonjun gasped.

“On Gyu’s birthday but…holy shit, why’d you even wanna come hang with us?” Kai finally mustered the courage to talk.

“I missed you guys. I missed us. I’m sorry, I know I fucked up-”

“Fucked up doesn’t cut it. We’re clearly not as important as we thought we were.” Taehyun’s voice grew an inch louder. Accumulating stares from all around the diner, you cleared your throat and held Taehyun’s hand, “It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not.” Soobin spoke, his voice filled with remorse. “Please…”

“Honest to God, I don’t even know why you’re holding your wedding back in Korea. Was New York too expensive for your pip pip cheerio girlfriend?” Yeonjun spoke.

“No. I-”

“Was New York out of people to backstab so you came back to Korea to do it to us twice?” Beomgyu scoffed.

The group erupted in laughter – with the exception of Soobin. Just like he was in the past, he didn’t like being the end of people’s jokes.

“No. It’s because I’m moving back to Korea.”

—--

You felt slightly defeated. All that talk, and you couldn’t even stay long enough for the food to arrive. You couldn’t, not with Soobin telling you that he was moving back permanently. With his fiancée. His future wife. God, you couldn’t even stomach that thought.

“Are you okay?” Beomgyu asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“I don’t know how you want me to react, Gyu.”

Beomgyu sighed, pulling you closer to his chest. “You’re silly.”

“What?”

“For being so faithful to someone who has clearly forgotten about you.”

“Gyu, if you’re not done being an asshole th—”

“It’s been two years. He’s moved on. You should too. You deserve so much more than just waiting around crying over some mediocre guy.”

“Am I not good enough? Am I not worth the wait?” You finally broke. “The night he told me he’d be moving to New York… he told me I was worth it. I was worth the two years.”

You sighed, laying your head onto Beomgyu’s shoulder. You were mentally exhausted. Years of feeling like you weren’t chosen piled up, making you feel like you were a shitty person in every way.

You continued, “Just months later, I see on Instagram that he’s frolicking at tourist sites with the same girl he told me not to worry about. How am I supposed to feel? I know it’s been two years, and I know we weren’t even dating, but when I look at him, it feels like just yesterday he was telling me how pretty I looked wearing my stupid purple dress.” You took a pause, gasping for air after rambling to Beomgyu and crying while at it.

“God,” Beomgyu mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“What? You must think I’m pretty stupid.”

“What? Yeah. I do,” Beomgyu said.

“What the fuck. You’re supposed to be comforting me!”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Beomgyu sighed. “You’re better than this. You can’t be moping around forever. Sure, he was your first love, but it doesn’t mean he was your only love. You’re incredibly beautiful and have the purest heart, despite being a little devil at times. If Soobin doesn’t see what he’s missing out on, then maybe he wasn’t that great in the first place. Move on. You can do much better than being sad over a man.”

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, reeling the emotions back in.

What Beomgyu had said essentially pulled you back to reality. You corrected your posture and cleared your throat. “I’m sorry,” you repeated.

“You don’t have to be. I’m just say—”

“I know, and I needed that.” Leaning in closer to your best friend, you kissed both sides of his cheeks, feeling the warmth of his face between your lips and his skin. “I love you.”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, looking away from you.

“Hey, are you blushing?” you sang. You teasingly pulled his arm. “Come on. Let me see your face.”

“I’m not! You’re just so ugly. I had to turn away.”

“Oh, come on,” you rolled your eyes. “You know the thing you said about Soobin being my first love?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, he wasn’t,” you chuckled.

“Oh. Was it Yeonjun then?”

You shook your head. “No. He was never my type.”

“Don’t tell me,” he gasped. “Our baby Huening?”

“Gyu, be serious.”

Beomgyu gasped. “God, you know I never pegged you as a Taehyun kind of guy. Probably because he’s really smart, and you’re hanging by the thinnest thread.”

“First of all,” you flicked his forehead. “Secondly, why are you so sure it’s someone in our friend group?”

Beomgyu chuckled. “You don’t have any more guy friends besides us. Unless… this is your coming out story, which by the way, I’m totally supportive of.”

“It’s not,” you laughed. “Anyway, as I was saying…”

You kept mum. You weren’t sure if the revelation of what you were about to say would scare him off.

“Nevermind,” you cowered.

“What? Man, I hate it when you do this! You get me all interested only to say nevermind.”

“It’s not even that important!”

“Everything you say is important,” Beomgyu prodded.

“You’re just saying that because you wanna know!”

“Okay then tell me!”

“It’s just… you know,” you stuttered. “It was you.”

“Huh?”

“My first… love?” you cringed as you said it. You hadn’t expected to tell Beomgyu that, not after you’d just cried over his ex-best friend.

—----------------------

You first met Soobin’s friends when you were at his place. It was only about the 4th time you’ve ever been to Soobin’s. He had invited you under the guise of watching a movie he’d been too scared to watch alone. You weren’t exactly expecting company but here Beomgyu and Huening Kai were – at Soobin’s doorstep with jumbo sized packets of cheetos and three large sodas.

“Shit. We didn’t know you were gonna have company.” Beomgyu grinned at Soobin whose cheeks turned bright red.

“I literally told you guys in the group chat yesterday,” Soobin rolled his eyes as he grabbed the bag of chips out of Beomgyu’s arms.

“Well, hello there.” Kai donned his infamous sheepish smile, extending a hand, “I’m Huening Kai. You can call me Huening or Kai but people usually call me handsome kid.”

“I’ll be sure to call you the latter then.” You giggled, accepting his hand shake.

Kai moved, walking toward the sofa and your eyes landed onto the person behind Kai.

“Hi.” You breathed. He was quite literally the most beautiful person you’ve ever laid your eyes upon. Shaggy long hair, long lashes, eyes that sparkled brighter than the sun, his legs beating the distance from Earth to Mars. You were in love.

“Hi, I’m Beomgyu!” He beamed. Even his smile was pretty.

You managed to stutter your name out like the idiot you were.

Your personality had become a complete 0. It tended to do that when you were with someone you found extremely attractive.

Soobin pulled you aside, “Why are you all fidgety and awkward?”

“I’m just…nervous.”

“What? You were all happy and excited to see Kai but when Beo- oh my God. You think he’s cute, don’t you?”

“Shut up! He’s gonna think I’m weird!” You hit Soobin’s shoulders. “Please don’t make it awkward.”

“I won’t. Besides, I think you guys would be great together.”

—-------

Along the way, Beomgyu had a couple of girls he had a crush on, all of them distinctly different from how you were. So different. You just figured you weren’t his type and gradually forgot about how you felt about him. However, the feeling came back every now and then he had done something sweet. But somehow, you managed to convince yourself that Beomgyu was just your platonic soulmate.

—----

“Do you think he likes me back?” You asked Soobin, who had his airpods in.

“What? Did you say something?”

“Nothing.” You shook your head, embarrassed that you’d even ask a question like that.

“Maybe.” Soobin answered.

“I thought you didn’t hear what I said.” You scoffed.

"I like it when you bring embarrassing shit up. Sue me," Soobin laughed. "Seriously, if you're that worried, just tell him you like him. If he doesn't feel the same, it's not a big deal. Gyu isn't the type to make things awkward with someone he doesn't want to lose."

“What if I make things awkward?”

“Oh 100% gonna happen if it goes south.” Soobin laughed.

“Scoobs…” You whined.

"But it won’t. Because you’re amazing. He’d be an idiot not to like you. What’s there not to like?" Soobin smiled. You didn’t really notice, but the smile faded as soon as you stood up to walk to the kitchen.

“You know what, maybe I will tell him I like him. Thanks, Soobin.” You grinned.

—

You hate to admit it but the whole fake dating thing had you thinking about what could’ve been and had inevitably forced you to revisit the feelings you once had for him.

You and Beomgyu walked into the bar that Kai had been raving about for weeks.

Scanning the rooftop for your friends, your eyes finally landed onto Taehyun who had been aggressively waving to the both of you.

“Why the fuck are you guys holding hands? Soobin isn’t even here yet.” Kai smirked. “Unless…”

“Oh shut up.” You deadpanned which made Kai’s grin wider.

“We were just practising.” Beomgyu said.

—

“Beomgyu, I like you.” You said, staring at yourself in the mirror. The goofy look plastered on your face didn’t help ease any of your anxiety.

“That’s it?” Soobin sighed, “Where’s the heart?”

“Scoobs, I can barely talk to him or look him in the eye. How romantic do you think this confession should be?”

“Look…I’ve already told the boys. We’re all gonna back out from movie night last minute and the two of you are gonna be alone. We’ve practically set up the perfect date for the two of you!” Soobin yelled.

“I hardly think seeing a movie about apes is romantic.”

“Well, Kai picked the movie before we even planned the date so…”

“This is ridiculous.”

Soobin and the rest of the boys were stationed a few feet away from you. All in dark disguises, shielding themselves from Beomgyu who could potentially be anywhere.

“This is ridiculous.” You whispered through your airpods.

“You look great.” Taehyun gave you a thumbs up from 5 feet away.

“He’s gonna know something’s up!”

“Why? Just because you’re wearing a cute purple dress and you’re finally not in sweats and don’t look like a homeless person?” Yeonjun wondered aloud.

“What I need is encouragement.” You sneered.

“You look beautiful.” Soobin mumbled. “Really.”

You looked up and saw Soobin offering you a tiny smile. You grinned as your anxiety lowered.

“FUCK, HE’S HERE!” Kai panicked into the mic, jumping behind a large poster.

“There you are! I’ve called you like 5 times but it keeps hanging up on me. Are you on another call?” Beomgyu asked.

“Uh…” You shook your head. “No! I guess something’s wrong with my phone.” You chuckled awkwardly.

“Well, get this, the boys ditched movie night.” Beomgyu rolled his eyes.

“We can go home if you want.” You blurted.

“What? No! We can still have fun. We don’t need those idiots.”

“So you still wanna catch this movie?”

“God, no.” Beomgyu shook his head. “I’m slightly thankful Kai isn’t here because then I wouldn’t have to watch that shit.”

“Tell him you like him.” You heard Kai’s voice echo through your AirPods.

“No,” you said aloud.

“What?”

“Oh! I said, 'Oh!'” You laughed awkwardly.

“Just tell him already. I’m getting bored,” Kai repeated.

“Beomgyu. I need to tell you something.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Gyu. I li-”

“GYUBEAR!” A girl screamed, prancing in to hug Beomgyu.

You froze, the words caught in your throat as you watched Beomgyu wrap his arms around the new girl, smiling brightly at her. With a forced smile, you turned away, hiding the disappointment that gripped your chest.

"Who... who is this?" you asked, feeling a knot of confusion tightening in your chest.

"This is Rina. She's my new girlfriend," Beomgyu grinned, his smile widening as he introduced her.

She looked...wildly different from how you did. Just like the rest of the girls Beomgyu had previously dated. Nothing like you.

Your heart sank at his words, the weight of missed opportunity pressing down on you. You forced a smile, trying to hide your disappointment. "Oh, hi Rina!" you managed to say, though your voice wavered slightly.

Rina beamed at you, oblivious to the turmoil inside you. "Nice to meet you! Beomgyu talks about you all the time," she said cheerfully, squeezing Beomgyu's hand affectionately.

You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat. Kai's voice echoed in your mind, urging you to confess your feelings, but now it felt too late. You glanced at Beomgyu, trying to mask your emotions behind a facade of happiness for him. "I'm really happy for you both," you said softly, your smile feeling more forced than ever.

Beomgyu looked at you with a hint of concern in his eyes, noticing the change in your demeanor. "Thanks," he said gently, reaching out to touch your arm briefly.

“Oh right, what were you gonna say?” Beomgyu asked, his voice filled with curiosity as he turned his attention back to you, oblivious to the turmoil raging within you.

You hesitated for a moment, caught off guard by his question. The truth hung heavy in the air, but with Rina standing there, her hand still intertwined with Beomgyu's, it felt like a betrayal to admit your feelings now.

"It's nothing," you replied with a forced smile, shaking your head slightly. "Just... congratulations again on your relationship with Rina. I'm really happy for you."

Beomgyu frowned slightly, sensing something unsaid in your response. "Are you sure?" he asked gently, concern evident in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure," you insisted, trying to sound convincing. "It was nice meeting you, Rina. I’m gonna get some popcorn. Or go to the toilet actually.” You laughed.

As you retreated to the concession stand, you couldn't shake the feeling of regret and sadness. Kai's voice echoed in your mind once more, urging you to be honest with yourself and with Beomgyu. But now, it felt like too little, too late.

You leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths to steady yourself. The weight of unspoken words and missed chances hung heavily on your heart, leaving you grappling with what could have been if only you had spoken up sooner.

–

“Well if it isn’t my favourite couple!” Yeonjun grinned as he wrapped his long lanky arms across you and Beomgyu’s shoulder.

“Why are we here again?” Taehyun sighed. “Thought we were done with him.”

“Unfortunately I don’t think we’ll be getting rid of the devil any time soon.” Beomgyu mumbled, his hands still around your waist.

The five of you gazed upon the tall fucking building that Soobin had invited all of you to. His pre-wedding party. A day you dreaded. You didn’t understand why he bothered inviting the lot of you. You weren’t friends well at least not anymore.

The room was decorated in the colours cobalt blue with tiny tinges of gold which made you gag.

“Stop looking so…” Kai thought as he looked at you. He paused, unable to find words to describe the sad look on your face.

“Ugly?” Yeonjun muttered.

“I was going to say worried.”

“We do NOT need this type of negative energy tonight. We are out here as sworn brothers.” Taehyun spoke before looking at you, “And sister! Tonight we breach the enemy’s headquarters but we shall rise above all else and make it out alive.”

“Y’know she’s allowed to feel whatever she’s feeling.” Beomgyu said, surprising everyone.

“A level headed response from our group’s own comedic legend? Ladies and gentlemen, we have officially landed in Neverland.” Yeonjun said.

“Shut up, asshat.” Beomgyu deadpanned, “I just think we should be supportive friends tonight.”

“I’m fine, Gyu. Thanks. Actually, I’m feeling fine. Sure, the person I once loved is marrying someone else. Sure, I was in love with him for like a billion years. Sure, it hurts to see him standing there with a beautiful girl in his arms with a hundred people congratulating him.”

“Once loved? Clear improvement! Applause for our friend who has matured.” Kai cheered.

“Any other positives there?” Yeonjun asked.

“Yeah. I still have you guys!” You beamed. “4 equally annoying, equally shitty assholes that somehow manage to make everything a little bit better!”

“But like…you like me better though right?” Kai coughed.

“Meh.”

Just a few moments later, you found yourself situated in the balcony, getting fresh air away from well everyone and everything. Beomgyu appeared behind you.

“Hey.”

"Hey," you replied softly, not turning to face Beomgyu. The city lights sprawled out before you, a sea of twinkling distractions that offered solace from the chaotic scene inside.

Beomgyu leaned against the balcony railing beside you, his presence a comforting weight in the tense air. "You doing okay?"

You nodded, but the knot in your stomach betrayed your attempt at nonchalance. "Yeah, just... wasn't expecting all this, you know?"

"Yeah," Beomgyu sighed, his voice tinged with understanding. "It's a lot to take in."

You finally turned to look at him, catching the sincerity in his eyes. Despite the teasing and banter among your friends, Beomgyu's gaze held an unwavering concern that spoke volumes. "Thanks Gyu for always being here for me." you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Always," he replied softly, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Even if we're forced into attending devil's parties."

You chuckled weakly, grateful for his attempt to lighten the mood. "Seriously, though. You...all of you have been my rocks through all of this."

"We're always here," Beomgyu reassured you, his voice gentle. "No matter what."

The sincerity in his words warmed you, and for a fleeting moment, the weight on your chest felt a little lighter. "I appreciate that," you admitted, turning your gaze back to the city lights.

Silence settled between you, comfortable and companionable. The night breeze swept around the balcony, carrying away some of the tension that had built up inside you.

Beomgyu chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners with genuine warmth. "No tears today though? Impressive."

"Or maybe I've just reached the peak of emotional numbness," you joked, though there was a hint of truth in your words.

He nudged your shoulder playfully. "Nah. You've always been resilient, even when things get tough."

You tilted your head, considering his words. "Maybe you're right. I guess I've spent enough time wallowing."

"Exactly," Beomgyu nodded, his voice earnest. "It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, but it's also okay to move forward."

"Besides, there are plenty of other fish in the sea," you added with a wry smile, trying to inject a bit of levity into the moment.

Beomgyu chuckled softly. "Exactly. And who knows, maybe one of those fish will surprise you."

You nodded thoughtfully, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. "Yeah, maybe."

Beomgyu looked over to you. He found you especially pretty that night. He pinched himself.

'Don't make a move on her, you idiot.' He thought to himself.

Beomgyu cleared his throat, suddenly feeling self-conscious under your gaze.

"So, any particular fish caught your eye tonight?" he asked with a playful grin.

"I don't know so far the only fish worth seeing is you."

Your playful remark caught Beomgyu off guard, causing a slight blush to rise to his cheeks. He chuckled nervously, his playful grin faltering for a moment as he processed your words.

"Smooth," he managed to reply, his tone a mix of surprise and amusement. "But seriously, I hope I'm not the only fish you're stuck with tonight."

You laughed softly, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood once more. "If I'm being honest, you're the only fish I'd want to be stuck with tonight."

Beomgyu's smile widened, a warmth spreading through him at your words. "I'm honoured," he replied sincerely, his gaze softening as he looked at you.

"You don't have to thank me too much though," he finally said, his voice gentle. "Being there for you, supporting you—it's just what friends do, right?"

"Right...friends..." Your voice trailed off, sensing a shift in the atmosphere between you and Beomgyu. The word "friends" hung in the air.

Beomgyu hesitated, his gaze flickering between your eyes as if searching for something. "Yeah," he agreed softly, his tone thoughtful. "Friends."

—

The five of you didn’t spend long there. In fact, none of you even bothered waiting for Soobin to make his obligatory rounds to your group. Within 20 minutes, you eagerly departed for the nearest diner around the corner.

The air was still, the night unusually calm. Your heart had raced furiously earlier, but now you felt surprisingly composed. A bit melancholic before the party, perhaps, but now? You were okay.

You exchanged glances with your four friends, then locked eyes with Beomgyu.

Ah, Beomgyu. Your rock. Your closest friend in the world. Secretly, you knew you probably favored him over the others. Though you’d never admit it to Kai. Beomgyu was amazing. Wonderful. Handsome. Kind. Funny.

You shook your head forcefully.

No. He’s your best friend. You can’t, shouldn’t, and won’t fall for ANOTHER best friend, especially one who you know would never feel the same way.

But his hair... so well-kept, smelling faintly of peaches.

Nope. Not today!

His lips... soft, plump, and so...

“Dude,” Yeonjun interrupted, nudging you.

“Huh? What?” You snapped out of your reverie, jolted back to reality.

“Your order?” Yeonjun nodded towards the server.

“Oh, right!”

—

It was late at night, and the world outside had quieted down to a gentle hum. You lay in bed, bathed in the soft glow of your bedside lamp. Tonight, however, your mind kept circling back to one person: Beomgyu.

You couldn't shake the memories of the day, the way Beomgyu's laughter had echoed in your mind, his smile etched vividly in your thoughts.

As you lay there, thoughts tangled and emotions swirling, you realised with a sudden clarity that your feelings for Beomgyu had resurfaced. Your heart skipped a beat at the realisation, and you couldn't deny the surge of excitement mixed with apprehension.

But you knew better than to let yourself fall for him again. You remembered the pain of unrequited love, the heartache of hoping for something that couldn't be. You couldn't bear the thought of opening up your heart once more, only to risk getting hurt all over again.

With a sigh, you pushed aside those burgeoning feelings, burying them deep within as a protective measure. You reminded yourself of the importance of guarding your heart, of prioritising your own emotional well-being.

Except... you weren't one to prioritise your own well-being. You were drawn to the allure of risking it all, of plunging into the unknown even when it meant potential heartache.

So there you were, wide awake in the stillness of the night, wrestling with an irrational urge to head over to Beomgyu's house and confess your sudden realisation of feelings.

The thought gnawed at you, refusing to be ignored. What if this time was different? What if Beomgyu felt the same way? The uncertainty was both terrifying and exhilarating, stirring a whirlwind of emotions within you.

Before you could overthink it further, you found yourself grabbing your keys and slipping out into the quiet darkness. The drive to Beomgyu's house was a blur, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you wrestled with doubts and hopes in equal measure.

Arriving at his doorstep, you hesitated for a moment, your heart pounding against your chest. With a deep breath to steady yourself, you knocked softly, the sound echoing in the silence of the night.

—--

As soon as Beomgyu arrived home, he climbed onto his bed and slid under the covers. The events of the evening replayed in his mind like a movie on repeat, each scene vivid and etched with emotions he struggled to make sense of..

Having active and lively monologues was a frequent occurrence. Sure, it helped him rationalize his thoughts and emotions, but it also bruised his ego and dragged him into the depths of despair when he realized how chaotic his own thoughts and emotions were, beyond rescue.

Dear God, how he wished he had no emotions whatsoever.

Bzzz.

Gyu: You okay? You: Yep. Why are you still awake? It’s 3. Gyu: Could say the same to you.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard.

He typed, “Wanna come over?”. He erased the message and shook his head.

He typed again, “I’m feeling kinda lonely and I miss you. Come over?” He erased the message and let out a sigh in frustration.

He typed again, “I think I like you.” He erased the message and screamed into his pillow.

Bzzz.

You: Open the door.

Beomgyu walked over to his door and there you were, in the flesh, almost as if he manifested it.

“What... what are you doing here?”

“Look… I’m done,” you sighed, your voice trembling with emotion. “I can’t be your pretend girlfriend anymore. I don’t want to keep lying to everyone.”

“What... what’s the sudden—”

“I should’ve done this a long time ago. I should’ve told you the truth and I should’ve been more brave about my feelings. If I've learnt anything from the situation with Soobin is that I've spent too long wallowing in being fearful I'd get rejected but -”

“What?”

"That movie night years ago with that Rina girl... I had feelings for you. Strong ones," you admitted, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I had planned to tell you that night."

Beomgyu gazed at you, his face a blend of surprise and confusion. His thoughts raced, connecting dots from the past, comprehending the unspoken tension and meaningful glances between you.

"I... I had no idea," he finally murmured, his voice barely audible.

“I know,” you nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. “But now you do.”

The room fell silent, tension thick in the air as you both stood there, words hanging between you like a delicate thread.

"And... tonight... I was in bed. I was doing a lot of thinking," you continued, your voice steadying as you gathered your thoughts. "I thought of Soobin, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm glad he's getting married and I'm glad he's happy. I've been holding onto my resentment towards him, but it's time to let that go. It was a dick move for him to move on so quickly from what could've been, but he fell in love. I couldn't... I couldn't possibly stand in the way of love."

Beomgyu listened intently, trying to grasp the significance of your words as they hung in the air between you.

"I don't understand—" he started to say.

"And then... I thought of you," you interrupted softly, your gaze meeting his with a mixture of vulnerability and determination. "I thought about what you've done for me in the past few years. The moments we've shared, the laughter, the support. What we have..."

Beomgyu's expression softened, his eyes searching for understanding. "What about it?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I realised..." you began, your voice wavering slightly as you laid bare the truth of your heart. "I realised that I've been denying myself something real. Something I've wanted for so long but was too afraid to admit."

A flicker of hope lit up in Beomgyu's eyes, a spark of understanding dawning on him as he processed your confession.

“I know you don’t feel the same way but–” you started, your voice faltering as you braced yourself for the inevitable letdown.

Beomgyu's brows furrowed slightly, his expression shifting from anticipation to concern. "Wait," he interrupted softly, reaching out to gently grasp your hands in his. "Don't assume what I feel."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, uncertainty mingling with a glimmer of hope. "But you never said..." you trailed off, unable to hide the vulnerability in your voice.

Beomgyu took a deep breath, his gaze steady as he searched for the right words. "I've been afraid," he confessed quietly. "Afraid of losing our friendship, of making things awkward between us. You may not know this but I've...loved you. For as long as I can remember. You constantly talked about Soobin. You were in love with him, for Pete's sake. I couldn't...I couldn't do that to either of you."

Your heart sank, burdened by unspoken fears and missed opportunities. "Oh," you murmured, struggling to steady your voice amidst a whirlwind of emotions. "But the girls... Look, one reason I've hesitated to tell you how much I like you is because of how different the girls you've dated are from who I am. We're...literal opposites."

"Look every girl I possibly dated, if they had at least a single common trait that you had? I’d immediate associate them with you. In my mind, there is no one BUT you." He sighed.

"And," Beomgyu interjected softly, gently squeezing your hands, "that doesn't mean I haven't thought about... about us and what might have been.""

"You have?" you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Beomgyu nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah," he admitted, his eyes never leaving yours. "I've thought about what it would be like if we took that step."

Your breath caught in your throat, a mix of relief and joy flooding through you. "So... what does that mean?" you asked softly, needing to hear him say the words.

Beomgyu took a step closer, closing the gap between you until you were standing inches apart. "It means," he began, his voice tinged with both apprehension and determination, "that I like you. More than I've admitted before. In fact, Yeonjun probably has written a book about all the times I’ve called him to giggle over every interaction we’ve had.”

You couldn't help but chuckle at his admission, a wave of affection washing over you. "Really?" you teased back, your heart fluttering with newfound hope.

“So what happens now? Soobin…” Beomgyu’s voice trailed off.

“Is in the past,” you replied firmly, meeting his gaze with unwavering determination. “Whatever happened with Soobin doesn’t matter anymore. This is about us, right here, right now.”

“Bro, you are sooo in love with me.” Beomgyu teased.

"Well, maybe just a little," you admitted with a shy smile, your heart beating a little faster as you looked into his eyes.

Beomgyu's expression softened, his gaze unwavering as he reached out to gently cup your cheek. "I'm glad you're here, you know? I've wanted to say this for a while."

Your breath caught at his touch, the sincerity in his voice stirring something deep within you. "I'm glad too," you replied softly, leaning into his hand.

He hesitated for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. "I... I don't want to rush things. But I also don't want to hold back anymore."

"I understand," you nodded, your fingers lightly tracing patterns on his chest. "We'll take it one step at a time."

Beomgyu smiled, his eyes bright with affection. "One step at a time," he echoed, leaning in closer until his forehead rested against yours. "Thank you for being patient with me."

Your eyes fluttered to his lips. “I know we said slow but like…” You looked back at his lips.

Before you could finish your sentence, Beomgyu closed the remaining distance between you, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. The world seemed to fade away as his warmth enveloped you, melting any remaining hesitation. His lips moved against yours with a gentle urgency, as if every moment they weren't touching was a missed opportunity.

You responded eagerly, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened.

When you finally pulled back, breathless and flushed, Beomgyu rested his forehead against yours. His hand found yours, fingers intertwining as if to anchor you both in this shared reality.

"I'm sorry," he murmured softly, his voice tinged with emotion. "I couldn't wait any longer."

“So should we tell Yeonjun? I fear he’s probably the most excited that we finally happened.”

Beomgyu chuckled softly, his forehead still resting against yours as he considered your question. His thumb traced gentle circles on the back of your hand, a silent reassurance in his touch.

"I think Yeonjun might have guessed already," he replied with a teasing grin, his eyes opening to meet yours. "But we should definitely tell him. And the others too. They've been rooting for us, in their own unique ways."

You nodded, a smile spreading across your face at the thought of sharing your happiness with your friends. "They'll be thrilled," you agreed, squeezing his hand affectionately.

—

It’d been a day or two since the two of you confessed to one another. You wouldn’t call yourselves official but you did spend the entire two days…well let’s just say, you’d be forced to wear a turtleneck all week.

"Gyu, I swear to God, you're an idiot," you muttered under your breath as you carefully applied another layer of foundation to your neck.

"What?" Beomgyu replied, his tone teasing and smug.

You shot him a playful glare in the mirror. "You've given me the biggest hickey ever. I'm going to have to wear a turtleneck all week just to hide it."

Beomgyu chuckled, unapologetic. "I couldn't help it."

Rolling your eyes, you finished blending the makeup and turned to face him. "Well, I hope you're happy. I look like I got attacked by a vampire."

"Maybe I am a vampire," Beomgyu quipped, leaning in to kiss you on the cheek.

You swatted him away playfully. "You're lucky I like you so much."

"Well...its about time we spill the beans." Beomgyu spoke.

"What beans?" you asked, raising an eyebrow in mock suspicion.

Beomgyu's eyes twinkled with excitement. "About us, of course. I think it's time everyone knows."

"Us? I'm sorry... I don't recall you ever asking me to be... um... yours," you replied, trying to lighten the moment with a teasing tone. Beomgyu blinked, momentarily taken aback by your response. He chuckled softly, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Well, maybe I haven't formally asked yet, but... I thought we were on the same page."

You raised an eyebrow playfully. "Oh, is that so? And what page is that, exactly?"

He took a step closer, his expression earnest. "The page where we're Snow White and the prince and we live happily ever after without having to ask, 'Wanna be my girlfriend?'"

You chuckled at Beomgyu's whimsical analogy, feeling a mix of amusement and affection for his earnestness.

"Snow White and the prince, huh?" you mused, your teasing tone softening into a smile. "That's quite the fairy tale you're painting."

Beomgyu nodded, a shy smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, well... I guess I just thought... with everything between us..."

You studied his expression, seeing the vulnerability behind his playful facade. "Hey, I get it," you reassured him gently, reaching out to lightly touch his arm. "And you're right. We've been dancing around this for a while now."

He nodded again, his gaze meeting yours with a mix of hope and uncertainty. "So... does this mean...?"

You chuckled softly, feeling your heart swell with warmth. "It means I'm willing to give this fairy tale a shot," you said softly, a playful glint in your eye. "But you still owe me a proper date, somewhere that doesn’t involve us immediately having our clothes off within the first 5 minutes of the movie, prince charming."

Beomgyu's face lit up with relief and happiness, his arms instinctively pulling you into a warm embrace. "Deal," he murmured against your hair. "but maybe if you weren't so sexy I wouldn't be doing all that in the first place."

"So you're saying I should be glad?" You rolled your eyes.

—

The boys were seated across from you, their banter filling the air with a familiar comfort.

“Guys… Beomgyu and I have an announcement,” you declared, your voice slicing through their chatter.

Yeonjun glanced up first, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Oh? What’s up?"

Kai nudged him playfully. "Finally gonna admit you’re dating?"

Beomgyu chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, actually..."

“NO FUCKING WAY! I TOLD YOU THOSE WERE HICKEYS AND YOU WERE LIKE… ‘no she just hurt herself with a curling iron…’” Kai yelled, his voice filled with mock indignation.

“Yes, Kai, tell the whole damn world about the hickeys on my neck,” you replied sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

“Sorry,” Kai muttered sheepishly, realising he may have overstepped.

“I’m so glad. I’ve been tired of hearing Beomgyu complain over his unrequited crush on you for years. Like thank God, you shut this bitch up.” Yeonjun grinned.

The banter continued, laughter echoing around the table as Beomgyu blushed slightly at Kai's teasing. "Hey, it wasn't that bad," he protested weakly, shooting a playful glare at Yeonjun.

Yeonjun leaned forward, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So, does this mean we're finally going to get invited to a wedding?"

You chuckled, shaking your head at their antics. "Let's get through the first date without any disasters, and then we can talk about weddings."

Taehyun, ever the voice of reason, raised an eyebrow. "You mean the first date where you won't have hickeys all over your neck?"

You groaned, burying your face in your hands as the table erupted in laughter again. Beomgyu squeezed your hand under the table, his eyes filled with affection and amusement. Despite the teasing and the playful banter, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the camaraderie and support of your friends.

"Yeah, yeah," you sighed dramatically, smiling despite yourself. "Next time, I'll make sure to use a better cover story."

As the laughter subsided, Beomgyu leaned in closer to you, his voice soft and sincere. "Thank you for putting up with these idiots."

You squeezed his hand back, feeling a rush of warmth at his touch. "Anytime," you replied with a smile, knowing that with Beomgyu by your side, even the teasing and the unexpected could be turned into moments of joy and connection.

---------

Beomgyu shuffled his feet, knocking on Soobin's door. "OPEN UP, DUMBASS!"

The door swung open, revealing Soobin in a worn-out shirt. Behind Soobin stood a person Beomgyu had never seen before.

“Shit. We didn’t know you were gonna have company.” Beomgyu grinned at Soobin.

“I literally told you guys in the group chat yesterday,” Soobin rolled his eyes as he grabbed the bag of chips out of Beomgyu’s arms.

“Well, hello there.” Kai donned his infamous sheepish smile, extending a hand, “I’m Huening Kai. You can call me Huening or Kai but people usually call me handsome kid.”

“I’ll be sure to call you the latter then.” You giggled, accepting his handshake.

Beomgyu placed the bags of snacks on the table and walked over to the new person Soobin had been raving about. He finally looked over to you and... you were... well, stunning. Your eyes were deep and expressive, drawing him in, while your smile both shy and captivating.

His hands, which had already opened a bag of chips, stopped as he took a moment to appreciate her beauty before getting snapped back into reality.

“Hi.” You said, introducing yourself.

“Hi, I’m Beomgyu!” He smiled, a little nervous. His mind blanked, and he didn't know how else to continue the conversation.

The pause lingered for a heartbeat too long, making the air feel thick with anticipation. Beomgyu could feel his cheeks warming up, but he tried to keep his composure.

Soobin pulled you aside, whispering something to you before pulling you into the kitchen to prepare snacks.

"Dude, you're staring. I hope you choke on a fly." Kai chuckled.

Beomgyu snapped out of his daze and shot Kai an embarrassed look.

"Shut up."

Kai chuckled, clearly enjoying Beomgyu’s discomfort. “I’m just saying, if you keep looking at her like that, you might as well introduce yourself as ‘the guy who couldn’t stop staring.’”

Beomgyu rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at his lips. “Whatever. She’s just... really pretty.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Kai teased, nudging Beomgyu with his elbow. “But don’t worry, you didn’t make it too obvious.”

“Great,” Beomgyu muttered sarcastically. “Let’s just get through tonight without me embarrassing myself further.”

Kai patted him on the back. “You’ll be fine. Just be yourself.”

As Beomgyu watched you and Soobin laughing together in the kitchen, he took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, just be myself.”

#soobin x reader #txt fic #txt oneshot #txt x reader #beomgyu x reader #txt fanfic #txt imagines #txt scenarios

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