#until then i shall sit here in frustrated silence and hope that no one takes it personally because i promise you it’s not

[aerynwrites]

Mixed Signals

Solas x reader/inquisitor

A/N: the Poll has spoken! y'all chose option 2 (I love that btw) so you shall receive. Some backstory - for whatever reason and despite having all the approval requirements and everything, my game bugged and I did NOT get the solas balcony romance scene and I'm MAD!!! idk what the scene was even supposed to be other than a kiss but yeah. here's this lol. this is also my first ever DAI pic so I apologize if things seem OOC. Hope you all enjoy!

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, very slight angst, fluff, kisses, petting? lost of kissing.

 “I’ve disturbed you enough for the evening.”

Solas’ parting words ring in your head endlessly since he left your chambers yesterday. They had stunned you, making your brows furrow as his demeanor seemed to change. You were sure, so sure he was going to take a step forward in your relationship. Even though you’d both agreed to take the risk, the tension had never waned, as if one wrong move would destroy the fragile relationship you’ve built. 

When he left…you thought it had finally shattered. That not acting on the energy crackling in the air, Solas was - effectively - giving you a final verdict. 

That was until today, when you went to visit him, after hours spent in the war room. Cassandra wanted you to speak with him about his knowledge on the elven artifacts you’ve been finding throughout the region. 

You walked in, finding him sitting in his chair, thumbing through a worn leather book. 

“Solas -”

“Yes, vhenan?” 

You nearly choke on air, hiding it behind a small cough. The term of endearment was not one used lightly, especially not by Solas. Your heart was thrumming in your chest, eyes wide as Solas finally looked up from the withered pages at your silence. 

He raises a brow at you, closing the book on his thumb to keep his place. “Did you need to speak with me?” he asks, again. 

Your mind runs at breakneck speed, yet you’re still unable to comprehend his words, still stuck on his initial greeting. 

Vhenan…

Solas stands then, setting his book down before taking a few steps to stand before you, settling a gentle hand on your arm. 

“Vhenan…are you alright?” he asks, voice soft, concern glittering in his gaze.

Finally your eyes connect with his own, and it feels as if the breath is stolen from you once more. That memory from the fade playing over and over in your mind. But you quickly shake it off, breaking his gaze and looking at the wall over his shoulder. 

“Yes, I…” you trail off, voice small, unsure. “I seem to have forgotten what I came for. Forgive me.” 

You turn without another word, hurrying from his presence with a greater haste than when you arrived, leaving a baffled Solas in your wake. 

That had been hours ago, the sun having long set, yet sleep evades you as you lay in your too large bed in your too large chambers. You are more confused now than when he left you on your balcony just a day ago. He had a chance, a chance to speak with you about…well about whatever this was. You had expected as much when he asked to speak to you alone, in your chambers no less. Yet…he didn’t take it. And now, he’s calling you endearments you’d always dreamed of hearing from his lips, whispered against your skin…

With a frustrated huff you sit up in bed, tossing the covers aside. You are going to find answers, you have to talk to him. 

Quickly lighting a candle, you reach for the robe hanging on the post of your bed, pulling it over your shoulders before reaching for the candle once more. You make your way across the room, the chill of the stone floor sinking into the soles of your feet as you pad towards the door. 

Pulling the door open, you have to stop the shout that bubbles up in your chest as you’re met with the very person you were searching for. Solas stands on the threshold of your chambers, hand raised to knock, and the tips of his ears just the slightest tinge of red at having been caught. 

“Solas-” “I’m sorry to interrupt.”

You both speak at the same time before falling silent, waiting for the other to speak. 

“I was just-” “I need to speak with you”

By now your own cheeks are burning, as silence envelops you once more. 

“Well, this isn’t going to work.” you finally say, heart fluttering at the smile your words elicit from the elf in front of you.

“Conversation will not get far that way, no,” Solas concedes. 

You step aside, gesturing him in, a command he silently obeys. 

Neither of you speak for a moment, and you take the opportunity to light a few more candles around the room, noticing only briefly that Solas seems…nervous. 

“Vhenan-”

“Why do you call me that?” you interrupt, setting the last candle down on your bedside table. 

This question seems to perplex the man, his brows furrowing as confusion settles on his features. 

“Vhenan,” you repeat the term, “Why do you call me that?”

“Do you not like the term? I just assumed it was appropriate-”

“Why?” you interrupt again, all your confusion and inner turmoil and insecurities coming to the surface now that you're alone with him. “I didn’t think…I know you were hesitant about this relationship. I know you think it’s a risk. But you…you left, Solas.”

You can tell he wants to speak, but he stays silent, encouraging you to continue in his own peculiar way. 

“On the balcony,” you clarify. “I thought…you asked to speak with me and I thought-” you cut yourself off, clenching the fabric of your robe in your hands as you struggle to verbalize your thoughts without sounding like an idiot. 

“I thought there was more to  say, there was more you were going to say. About us. But then…you said that you respected me deeply but then you just left! As if you are some burden I wanted gone, or as if you aren’t worthy of my time, but I- I want this Solas. With you. I want you, and I thought you wanted me, and if you don’t that is fine. But you can’t keep sending these clashing signals-”

You don’t  even notice him approach, not until his lips meet your own, cool hands cradling your face as he pulls you deeper into the kiss. A kiss you eagerly return, hands dropping your robe to instead fist into the fabric of his tunic, pulling him impossibly closer, wishing you could pull him into your very being. 

You stumble blindly as Solas urges you backwards, your knees hitting the edge of the bed, Solas following you down to the feather mattress, catching his weight on his forearms. 

He never breaks the kiss, his lips molding against yours as fire runs through your veins, burning brighter than the summer sun. His hands, calloused from years of wielding his staff, slide beneath your robe and ruck up your night shirt in search of the soft skin beneath. 

You both only separate for desperate gasps of air before Solas is devouring you once more, teeth nipping at your lip before you feel his tongue slide along the seam of your lips. You clutch him tighter as he sighs into you at your willing acceptance, exploring your mouth with his own before he finally breaks away from you, nuzzling against your jaw as he presses feather light kisses there and down your neck. 

“I want you,” he breathes, hands clutching at your waist. “I crave you. And it terrifies me.” he admits. 

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, the thoughts that were scattered leagues apart from one another by his kisses, by his hands roaming over your skin. 

“You…you can be afraid and still do it,” you tell him. 

Solas chuckles then, an almost inaudible sound against your collar bone. 

“What do you think I’m doing?”

You smile, sliding your hands up to cup his jaw, urging him up to look at you, heart stuttering a the look in his eyes. 

“I thought…”

He shakes his head, turning to place a kiss on your palm. 

“I have not stopped thinking about our kiss in the fade,” he admits. “I’m sorry if my actions betrayed otherwise.” 

 “Will you stay?” you ask.

Solas smiles down at you before capturing you in another breathtaking kiss. 

“Nothing would please me more.”

Solas lifts himself from you, helping you beneath the covers before moving to extinguish the lights around the room. When the last one is blown out, you only know he joins you when the bed dips at your side, the covers lifting as he slides in beside you. 

Warm hands seek you out once more, lips fumbling in the dark until you kiss one last time, this one seeming to promise more than words ever could. 

Neither of you speak again. Not until you both settle, Solas’ body pressing into you from behind as his arms snake around your waist, legs tangling with your own. Not until you’re already in the dregs of slumber and you hear him call to you one last time.

“vhen’an’ara.”

[frayaziwriter]

I'm A Spider - Wait, What?

Chapter 3

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GONE?!”

SLAM!

The spiders around them flinched, chittering to themselves. The black Knight kneeling before them refused to raise his head.

Gold snarled, standing from her throne to pace. Ruby and Bronze shared concerned looks as she slammed the butt of her halberd against the stone flooring while she went. Obsidian simply watched from her own throne, claws curled thoughtfully over her fanged mouth. Her gaze flickered between her soldiers and the seething Gold.

Then Gold screamed and swung her halberd into her throne. “What the fuck were you doing?! Getting stuck in your own fucking webs?! I told you to take care of her, and then you turn around and LOSE HER! She’s been gone for A MONTH! I oughta tear off your limbs here and now-”

“Gold.” 

Silence.

Obsidian nodded, her deep voice slipping out. “Thank you. I understand your frustration, sister, we all do, but now is not the time to fight. We appreciate your willingness to defend our kind, but when it’s directed at our kin, you shouldn’t let your rage blind you. Please, sit.” Gold’s jaw hitched a few times before she reluctantly sat in her damaged chair. “Now, we listen to his report.”

Ruby and Bronze nodded on her right while Gold scoffed and slumped in her chair to her left. Smiling, Obsidian turned to her soldier. “Begin.”

‘Yes, my queen.’ The Knight churred softly. ‘As you are all aware, my partner and I lost the princess shortly after she came into our care. We searched for hours, but could not find any trace of her. It was only recently that we felt her.’

Her two sisters to her right gasped and Gold sat up straight in her chair. Obsidian rose a singular, bedazzled eyebrow. “And where is she?”

The Knight let out a hissing whine. ‘I apologize, but we lost her again. There was an abnormal Slime eating everything it came across in the area-’

“You mean to tell us you fucking let her DIE?! What is wrong with you-”

Obsidian delicately cleared her throat. Gold growled and sat back, glaring down at the ebony Knight. He shook his head. ‘No, you misunderstand, Queen of Gold. It seems the princess managed to avoid the Slime until... My partner apparently spotted her close to the Slime and rushed to her aid, only to end up sliced apart and eaten by the Slime. I do not know of what happened next for I was attacked shortly after by a Monstrous Centipede.’

Outrage in the Obsidian’s section rang up before their queen raised her clawed hand.

It was silent for a long moment. Ruby clenched her hidden hands into fists; Bronze crossed her legs with a frown; Gold seethed in her seat; Obsidian leaned back into her throne with a thoughtful expression once again painted across her face.

“Go back and look for her. She should still be in that cave system, correct?” Obsidian asked her soldier. He flinched. ‘The thing is, my queen, she was in the Sealed Cave.’

The four queens gasped as a wave of shocked hissing rippled through their audience. Even Gold was gobsmacked. “She made it...there? That little shit made it to the Sealed Cave all by herself?” She started laughing to herself. “Damn, those Whities must be resilient as hell to be able to go that far at only the Small Lesser stage!”

Obsidian let a smile curl her lips while hope sparked in Ruby’s eyes. Bronze simply raised an eyebrow at this. Then, Obsidian stood to her full height, her black dress shifting along her skin. “This is a delicate situation, sisters. I suggest allowing the Obsidian Clan to investigate this.”

“Oh, hell no!” Gold slammed her left fist into her chair arm. “Your soldiers are the ones who lost her in the first place! I say we eradicate that stupid Slime and drag her back home right now!”

Bronze raised her hand. “I suggest a vote. We vote to either let the Obsidian Clan perform their investigation or to rush in to save the princess.”

Ruby nodded. “Yes! I agree.”

“Then we shall hold a vote,” Obsidian spoke, and all other chatter froze in its tracks, “Those who say we rush in, raise your hands.” Gold shoved her hand in the air. “And those who say we wait, raise your hands.” The hands of Ruby, Bronze, and Obsidian lifted.

Obsidian nodded. “Then it is settled. We shall wait. Court is dismissed.” <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

You took Rimuru to your hideout after he helped you up. On the way, he told you his story, from getting stabbed to being reincarnated to finally-

‘Wait, so YOU’RE the reason why Veldora suddenly disappeared?!’

‘Uh? Yeah?’

-eating Veldora to free him of his prison.

You huffed, glaring as you pointed a leg at him. ‘Do you have any idea what you just did?! All of the monsters in the vicinity have been going bat-shit crazy since Veldora disappeared! I’m pretty sure there’ll be a power vacuum and they’ll fight to the death soon!’ Rimuru bounced back to avoid your jab. ‘A-Ah, sorry?’

‘You made my second life hell and all you have to say is ‘sorry’?! Ohh, I should bonk you on the head for that!’

‘A-Ah, speaking of our second lives,’ Rimuru slithered back, his form melting a little under the glare you shot at him, ‘How long have you been in this world, exactly?’  

You paused, crossing your front two legs, and trilled out a hum. ‘That’s a good question.. Chiron? Do you know?’

[Answer; you have been alive for a month and a week. Notice; you are low on energy. Suggestion; eat.]

‘Great. I’ll do that soon. Thanks!’ You clicked your chelicerae and turned back to continue. ‘About a month now. You?’ Rimuru hopped after you. ‘Um, since a little before Veldora disappeared?’

‘So, a week at most. Got it.’ You glanced up. ‘Oh hey! We’re here!’

Rimuru stopped and glanced around. ‘Woah.. Did you do all of this?’ He gestured to all the webbing you had put up as a defense and you nodded. ‘Yup! Do you have a way to get up there?’ The Slime paused and turned to you. ‘Get up where?’

You pointed a claw up at your little cliff home. ‘Up there! That’s my temporary home!’

He followed your foreleg and stopped. ‘Uhh, I got a Sticky Thread skill from that other spider monster?’ You flinched. ‘Right! Well, you get up there and I’ll join you soon.’

‘Where are you going?’ You gesture back to the tunnel behind the two of you. ‘I’m hungry, so I’mma catch us some food! There’s this pit of baby centipede monsters nearby and they’re actually kinda good.’ Rimuru’s body tilted to the side. ‘Oh, I think I can help with that!’

And then he expanded to spit out - was that an adult Monstrous Centipede?! You skittered back with a shriek. Rimuru returned to his original form after spitting the corpse out and turned to you. ‘Is this enough for you?’ You stared at the dead Monstrous Centipede for a moment, nodding slowly. ‘U-Uh, yeah. Yeah, that is. Where..? How..?’

‘I have a Water Manipulation skill, so I used a move I call ‘Water Blade’ to cut it up.’ You stab a claw through one of the pieces and glance at him. ‘Is that what you used on that Black Serpent?’  

‘Uhuh!’

‘Wait, so how do you have the Sticky Thread skill? I thought that was a Jorogomo thing.’ You drag the piece inside your defenses, huffing as it gets caught on the sticky threads. 

Rimuru bounced up and used his ‘Water Blade’ move on the centipede to cut it into smaller sections. ‘I also have a skill called ‘Predator’. In layman's terms, it allows me to analyze and copy any skill of anything I eat.’ You froze for a split second before turning to him and picking him up with your two forelegs. ‘You mean to tell me that there’s a high chance you’ll get stupidly OP stupid quick?!’ You shook him in your claws. ‘How the living fuck did you get so lucky?!’

He wiggled out of your claws and bounced away, out of your reach. Huffing out a sigh, he shot out a blob of white silk and helped you drag the corpse inside your home. ‘I guess? And I reckon my dying thoughts were turned into my skills.. Oh! Speaking of dying, how’d you end up here?’

You were getting ready to slice into the flesh of the Monstrous Centipede when he asked that. Turning to him, you went to speak but..something stopped you.

‘Actually, that’s a really good question.’ You tapped your left claw on the ground as you thought. ‘..I remember my previous life. Well, to an extent. There are some blank parts that I can’t fill in no matter how hard I try. Unfortunately, how I died is one of those. All I can recall is being in pain and wishing it to stop. Oh, and a voice talking to me. Don’t know what it said, though.’ Shrugging, you hesitantly go back to slicing into the dead centipede. ‘It’ll eventually come back, so I’m not worried.’

‘But,’ Rimuru shot another blade of condensed water at the corpse before you, ‘It doesn’t bother you? That you can’t remember some things?’

You paused. ‘...It does bother me, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Trust me. I’ve spent the last month and a week trying to remember, nothing will force my memories to come back until they’re ready.’ With a trill, you dug into the meat with gusto. ‘So until then, I’ll be patiently waiting!’

Rimuru was quiet for a long moment as you ate quickly. ‘..I hope you remember soon.’

Glancing up at him, you wished you could move your mouth into a smile. ‘Thanks, Rimuru. I hope so, too.’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

The heat was unbearable.

It bore down on him, practically baking his flesh. It had already vaporized the water from the cracked ground. He didn’t know when it would steal the water in his body and cook him from the inside out, but he knew it would be soon.

He stumbled, slowly falling onto his face. He couldn’t lift a finger. The hunger gnawing at his stomach and the heat scorching his body stole his energy. 

It was so hot..

Footsteps. Coming his way. Footsteps?

They paused at his form. A shadow loomed over him.

“I think I shall give you a name and some food.”

..Food?

He looked up. Someone with a mask crouched next to him, staring down at him through the lenses of the beaked mask. “Who..are you?”

“I am Gelmud. If you like, just think of me as your father.” His vision wavered, and he blinked. “Or, would you prefer to die?”

A pause. Then,

“Give me a name. I’ll take that and the food.” A hand placed itself on his forehead. “Very well. I shall Name you Geld.” A surge of raw power flushed into him and a golden light shined from his steaming flesh. “Geld, huh?”

“One day, you will take possession of the Great Forest of Jura and become the Orc Disaster.” Gelmud held out a piece of meat, and he sat up to grab it. Saliva dribbled from his mouth and he grabbed the still-fresh meat and fervently tore into it.

He couldn’t see the satisfied grin behind the Majin’s mask as he devoured the first piece of food he’s had in months. He was too immersed in his empty stomach.

Geld was swiftly yet quietly taken by his hunger, and then he was no longer Geld. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

‘-and there I was, dangling from her grip like, who the hell does that?! To a baby?!’

You screeched, throwing your forelegs in the air as you paced about your little cliff. Rimuru watched from the wall. A question mark made of slime was starting to form on his forehead before suddenly shifting to an exclamation mark. ‘Wait, you weren’t kidding?! She actually did that to you?!’

‘Yes! Yes, she did!’ You slam your claws down and slump to the ground. ‘And then I got lost almost as soon as I left her care. I’ve been wandering around ever since. The only good thing that came out of this was that I evolved into a Lesser now Medium Taratect.’

Rimuru tilted to the side. ‘What’s the evolution tree look like for you?’

Scratching your head with one claw, you hummed. ‘Well, I know my species starts at Small Lesser Taratect, then evolves to Lesser Taratect, then Medium Taratect, Greater Taratect, Knight, and finally Arch Knight.’ You paused and clicked your front two claws together. ‘The Knights Spider is the final evolution for males while Arch Knight is the final form for females. At least, that’s according to Chiron. No clue why the Queen looked human, though. Oh! Chiron is my version of Great Sage.’

‘She looked human?!’ Rimuru wiggled. ‘How can a Jorogomo evolve into a human form?!’

‘I know right?! Especially since the Arch Knight is the final evolution for females! It makes zero sense!’ You continue to pace. ‘It’s been driving me crazy ever since I met her!’

Rimuru’s body melted. ‘Just thinking about it for a minute is making my nonexistent brain hurt.. Let’s talk about something else.’ You agreed, skittering to his side before flopping to the ground. ‘Have you found the exit yet, (Y/N)?’

You shook your head with a groan. ‘Damn.’

‘Since Veldora disappeared, it must be chaos outside if it’s chaos in here..’

The Slime nodded along. ‘..Do you even want to go outside?’

You stopped. Glancing up at him showed him facing away from you, his ‘face’ tilted towards the edges of the cliff. You let out a soft churr and held out your forelegs. The claws glinted in the dim, blue light. ‘...It’s the one thing I want most.’

-“We can’t go outside today. I’m sorry, I know you were looking forward to it.”-

-You weakly coughed, your lungs too stiff to support you through the fit. When it was finally over, you stared up at your hospital ceiling, completely exhausted. It's getting harder and harder to breathe with each passing day. You suppose it wouldn’t be long now.-

Rimuru glanced back at you. You tilted your head. With a hum, he leaned into you. ‘..How ‘bout we blow this popsicle stand and escape together?’ Churring softly in response, you leaned into him as well. ‘You wanna take me along with you? Are you sure?’

‘Of course!’ Rimuru wiggled in indignation. ‘We’re friends now, right? I’m not gonna leave you behind here, especially since you wanna leave, too! That wouldn’t make me a very good friend.’

If you could cry, your eyes would be tearing up right now. ‘Rimuru...you’re the best. Thank you.’

The Slime wiggled once more. ‘A-Ah, you’re welcome! Hey, you said you need to sleep, right? You should get some rest and tomorrow we’ll start looking for the exit!’

‘Right! Night-night!’

‘..Night.’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

You yawned as you sleepily scurried after Rimuru. The Slime was bouncing ahead of you, just a meter of difference between you two.

‘So, do you have any idea where this exit is supposed to be, Rimuru?’

‘Not a clue! I was hoping to stumble on it before I ran into you, and now I was kinda banking on you knowing where it’s NOT.’ The Slime landed and turned to you, waiting for you to catch up. You trilled. ‘Hmm. Okay. I’ll lead you to where my knowledge of the place ends, okay?’

‘Right on! I knew I could count on you!’ Rimuru happily hopped in place and followed close behind you when you turned down a different tunnel.

As the two of you traveled through the caves, you would pass the time sharing stories between fights with stray monsters.

-Rimuru gasped. ‘Wait, you mean to tell me they both just ganged up on you? For no reason?’ You groaned, churring as you stabbed a claw into a piece of meat. ‘Yes! I was minding my own business and then they just literally fell into my path! I got the hell out of there as soon as possible.’

Shaking yourself, you turn to him. ‘So? What about you? How did your fights go down?’

Rimuru hummed. ‘Well.. You saw the Black Serpent, but sometime after that, I came across an Armorsaurus! I decided to turn into a Black Serpent and...well.. Let’s just say I’m never using one of its skills on a living being..’

‘Oh..’ You shuddered at the mental image your mind conjured up.-

At one point, the two of you came across a giant pit. You both decided to skip over the dark pit by using the Sticky Thread skill and swinging across the gaping hole.

-‘Alright, let’s use Sticky Thread and-’

‘Ahuaghahahaagh!’ You stared after Rimuru as he swung across on his own thread. He landed safely before turning to you. ‘You coming?’

You jabbed a foreleg at him, pushing back giggles. ‘You stole my idea! Thief!’

‘Uh.. Oops? Sorry..’ Grumbling, you shook yourself and swung over. Rimuru chuckled beside you. You curiously click your chelicerae at him. ‘What’s so funny?’ He shrugged. ‘It’s just, we were both thinking of the same thing! You know that old saying about how great minds think alike?’

You paused. The two of you shared a look before dissolving into fits of peeling laughter .-

You also teamed up against a lone Giant Bat. 

-The two of you dodged the flying rodent. You were quickly getting annoyed, since every attack you would send its way, it would always dodge. Perks of being able to fly, you guess. ‘Rimuru, how’s your web skills?’

‘Not the best. Why?’ You leap up to a stalactite to avoid a concentrated blast of sound aimed at you. ‘Well, I was thinking one of us could make a trap while the other distracts this thing. I guess since I’m the better weaver, I’ll make the trap and you distract?’

Rimuru immediately sent a Water Blade at the Giant Bat, which was swiftly dodged. ‘Sounds great! How long do you need?’

You trilled out a hum. ‘I’d say ‘bout five minutes? Think you can last that long?’ Rimuru sent you a slimy thumbs-up. ‘Absolutely! Don’t disappoint!’

‘It’ll be a masterpiece, I assure you!’ You giggled and got right to work.-

In the end, you both pushed the bat into your trap. Rimuru sliced it up and consumed it with his Predator skill. Then it was back on the road for you.

And then you came across another hurdle.

A rather large pond of clear water stood in your way. Rimuru jumped on in, splashing you a little as he used his Water Manipulation skill to glide through the water. You could hear him practicing speaking as he went, and honestly? You were kinda jealous. You wanted to speak aloud, too!

‘U-Um, Rimuru? Do you think you could wait for me on the other side?’ The Slime circled back around to face you. You stood at the edge, nervously clicking your clawed legs together.

‘Yeah, sure. But, what’s wrong?’ You point to the water. ‘I’ll drown.’

A question mark appeared out of his gelatinous body. ‘Oh? Do you not know how to swim? I can probably help-’

‘No, no no no, that’s not it!’ You frantically wave your legs around. ‘Spiders back home had something called ‘book lungs’. I don’t know how similar monster spiders are to the ones on Earth, but I don’t want to test my theory.’

‘What are ‘book lungs’?’

You tilted your head to one side while crossing your top pair of legs. ‘Book lungs are respiratory organs most arachnids have. Their lungs are shaped in a way that resembles the pages of a book and instead of manually breathing in air like mammals, they have holes on the underside of the abdomen that passively takes in air. If my theory is correct, I’ll drown if I try to swim.’

Rimuru was silent for a long time. ‘..Oh. That’s...not good. Yeah, it’s best if you avoid swimming.’ He jolted in the water as if a thought suddenly struck him. ‘How are you going to get across, then?’

Humming, you glance around. ‘I could always swing from the ceiling like Spiderman, or crawl on the walls?’ Rimuru sighed. ‘Just be careful, okay?’

‘Promise!’

And with that, you two separated. Rimuru went back to swimming while you skittered to the closest rock pillar. You climbed up and stopped to take in your surroundings.

You turned to look at the walls and ceiling. You could go the wall route, but there’s still a possibility that you’ll fall and drown, and it was a longer route. Another path you could take is to walk across the ceiling. But then you’re fucked if you lose your footing unless you manage to react quickly enough and catch yourself with webbing. 

Or you could go the fun yet dangerous route; Double Jumping off this pillar and swinging from the stalactites you can see in the shadows above. ‘Chiron? Which one would you suggest?’

[Answer; the wall option.]

‘Hmm, mostly safe but long commute. Alright. Hopefully, Rimuru doesn’t mind the time it’ll take me..’

And then you jumped off the pillar and skittered to the wall, climbing up and across the pond. On the other side, there was a forest of stalagmites of various sizes and a pile of boulders. No easy way to the path Rimuru was now waiting on.

Sighing, you jump off the wall and landed on the closest stalagmite, which was just on the edge of the pond. You took a deep breath to settle your nerves. ‘That was too close..’

[Notice; the stalagmite points are sharp enough to pierce your body. Suggestion; be careful.]

‘Oh, shit. Really?’ You shuddered. ‘Right. Sharp pointies. Avoid sharp pointies. Got it. Simple enough.’ You shot a glance over to your right at the path. Rimuru sat there, still practicing his speech. ‘And try not to land on Rimuru. Piece of cake.’

[Would you like to use the {Skill; Double Jump?}]

‘Yes! And then Sticky Thread!’

You jumped, twirled around mid-air, and shot off a glob of Sticky Thread. It latched onto a stalactite and you swung forward. At the last second, you cut the web off and flip through the air, not unlike Spiderman. You then repeated this process several more times until you were right above your new friend. You let yourself swing upside down for a moment before you waved at Rimuru.

‘I made it safe and sound!’

‘You still have to land without a scratch!’ You blew a mental raspberry before carefully lowering yourself. Once your claws clacked on the rocky ground, you spread your two forelegs out victoriously. ‘Ta-da! Safe and sound!’

‘If I had hands, I would applaud you.’ You bowed as best you can as Rimuru bounced happily. ‘Thank you, thank you. Now! What’s next?’

Rimuru hopped over the ridge. ‘This way! Oh, woaaaah!’

‘Rimuru?!’ You scurried after him and crossed over the hill just in time to see him smack right into a stalagmite. You winced in sympathy. ‘You okay there, bud?’ As you crawled down the hill, Rimuru struggled to push away from the jagged stone. ‘Just fine!’ His voice was strained from the effort, but then he popped off and you couldn’t help the snort of laughter at the glower he sent it.

And then you two moved on after a moment of rest, dodging other monsters and taking brief periods to eat and sleep as you went. Then a week or two later, you found a set of large, double doors. You and Rimuru cautiously stepped closer.

‘A door that big has gotta be the exit, right?’ Rimuru murmured through the link as a slimy question mark appeared. ‘But how are supposed to open it? Do we just Water Blade it, or what?’

You trilled, shrugging in response. Something pricked along your consciousness, and you yelped. ‘Rimuru, hide!’ You hissed and pushed him behind a pillar of rock nearby. ‘What? What’s going on?’ The doors suddenly opened with a loud rumbling noise and the two of you watched as three people strolled in. ‘Oh.’

‘Yeah. Oh. Good thing I have my Spidey Sense..’ Rimuru glanced at you. ‘As in, Spiderman’s spidey sense?’

Shrugging, you huddled closer when the three humans turned invisible. ‘It’s called Spider’s Sense, but I like to call it my Spidey Sense after Spiderman.’ You watched as the group’s footsteps appeared in the dust-covered path. ‘I wonder if I’ll ever be able to do that.. Many spiders are considered ambush predators, so that’ll be very useful for capturing prey.’

Rimuru jolted, his form melting a little bit. ‘A-Ah. Right.’ You crossed your forelegs. ‘What.’

‘Nothing! Nothing! Oh hey, we should leave since they’re gone now!’ He hopped forward and raced to the doors. You stifled a shriek before skittering as quietly as you possibly can after him.

‘H-Hold up!’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

‘Hey! The sun!’

Rimuru bounced on ahead of you excitedly. You hissed when the bright light stabbed your eyes, covering them with your two forelegs as you crawled forward. You’ve been in a cave for so long, you kinda forgot how bright the sun was. ‘Hey, slow down! I need a moment!’ The Slime paused and glanced back at you.

You had stopped near the doors, hiding behind a rock with your clawed legs shielding your eyes. ‘What’s wrong?’ He asked while bouncing closer to your form. ‘Just give me a sec. I’ll be fine.’

‘..If you say so...’ Rimuru tilted his body to the side before turning to take in your surroundings.

You shook your head and slowly lowered your claws. ‘Okay, I think I’m good now. I completely forgot how intense the sun could be. Thanks for waiting.’ And then you froze as your eyes finally locked on the environment you two stumbled into. ‘Wait. Are we...really outside?’

‘Yeah. It’s pretty here, isn’t it?’ Rimuru hopped in place. ‘‘Pretty’ is an understatement..’

The forest was beautiful. Lush green grass and colorful wildflowers grew in copious amounts between the trees and bushes. Golden rays of sunlight filtered through the branches and dappled the ground. The sky was a bright blue with beautiful white clouds and the wind brought with it a clear and flowery scent. You had to sit down for a moment; you were so used to the smog and bland colors of a city that if you could, this scene would have brought you to tears.

It was the most beautiful thing you’ve seen in both of your lives. ‘Rimuru, tell me, am I dreaming? Am I actually outside in a forest?’

‘Yes? I mean, no, you’re not dreaming, and yes, you’re in a forest!’ Your Slime friend paused. ‘You sound so..awed by that. Is it really that beautiful to you? It looks like a normal forest to me.’

‘This is normal?!’ You rounded on him, grabbing him by your claws once again. He flinched in your hold. ‘Uh? Yes?’ You rock side to side excitedly. ‘Seriously?! They’re all this beautiful?!’ Placing him down, you turn back to the forest. ‘Were forests this beautiful back home?’

Rimuru hummed. ‘Well, I didn’t get out of the city I lived in much, but from what I’ve seen, yeah.’

‘You mean to tell me we were blessed with naturally beautiful sights and humans STILL fucked it up?’ You huffed, slashing the air with your claws. ‘If only I could strangle humanity..’

‘U-Um..’ Rimuru’s body melted and he leaned away from you. ‘(Y/N)? By any chance, is this the first time you’ve left a city?’ You stopped waving your razer blade legs around and hummed. ‘Well, I always wanted to go into nature in my last life, but I was too sick and the weather never cooperated with my good days. On bad days it was beautiful outside, but on good days it was always horrible. The furthest I ever got was the front door before something went wrong. I've only ever seen forests like this through pictures, but it's not the same..’

The two of you spent a few moments of silence just admiring the view before Rimuru cleared his nonexistent throat. ‘Well, if it’s your first time in a forest, then..’ He bounced away and deeper into the forest. ‘Let’s go explore!’

You squealed and raced after him. ‘Alright!’ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

You ended up rolling in a sunny bed of grass while Rimuru made his way down a dirt path.

It was…peaceful here. You loved it. The birds were singing beautiful songs, colorful flowers were blooming, and the sun was a golden ball of light in a deep blue sky.. Your dream finally came true! You’re finally doing normal things!

You rolled onto your stomach to slice a flower up before holding the delicate plant carefully in your claws. ‘This has got to be the best day ever. Hey Chiron, what’s this flower called? It’s so pretty..’

[Answer; that is-]

“HI! IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU ALL! MY NAME IS RIMURU AND I AM A SLIME MONSTER!” 

‘What the ever living fuck?!’ You jumped at the loud sound of Rimuru’s voice cutting Chiron off. Unfortunately, this caused your claws to slice the bloom into shreds. You stared down at the remnants of the flower sadly. ‘Rimuru! What the hell?’

‘...Oops?’

‘‘Oops’? You just made me destroy a flower I was admiring!’ You huffed, getting up to pace agitatedly. ‘Why were you yelling?’

‘A bunch of Goblins just appeared and I was trying to talk to them.. Sorry about that..’

‘Jesus..’ You smack a claw on your face. ‘Hold up, they wanna take me somewhere. Think you can catch up with us?’ You perk up. ‘Right now? You haven’t taken any turns, have you?’

‘Nope! Just follow the dirt path!’ Shrugging, you leave your little grass bed and skittered down the path. ‘Okay. See you in a bit!’

[Would you like to use the {Skill; Double Jump}?]

‘Yes!’

And then you ran down the dirt road, jumping to shave off a few seconds. Soon, you spotted the light blue ball of slime you called your friend and skidded to a stop. You ended up with your head hanging over Rimuru’s body. Glancing down, you trilled. ‘Hey, Rimuru! I’m here!’

‘Right on!’ You turned back to the Goblin horde ahead of you. They were shaking, pointing their weapons at you, and you’re pretty sure their faces aren’t supposed to be that pale of green. ‘..Uh. Are they okay?’ Rimuru paused. ‘They look...like they’re about to shit their pants.’ You snorted.

“S-Sir! That-That s-spider-!” The head Goblin pointed at you, and you trilled out a note of confusion. ‘Me?’

“Everyone, this is the friend I was telling you about!” Rimuru chirped. “And now that she’s here, we can go! So take us to your leader!” <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Rimuru ended up riding on your back as you followed the Goblins into their village.

You...weren’t sure this should be called a village in the first place. There were very small tents scattered about the area, but that was it. 

An elderly Goblin appeared out of the biggest hut and almost fell to his knees at the sight of both you and Rimuru. “Ah! You’re here! Please, come in, come in!” He ushered the two of you inside the big hut with his cane and before you knew it, Rimuru was resting on a very comfy-looking pillow and you were being fed meat.

‘Oooh, this smells good!’ You eagerly stabbed a claw into the first piece and shoved it into your mouth. ‘It tastes just as good as it looks! Thanks!’ The elderly Goblin flinched back, yet bowed his head. “Th-Thank you for your kind words, spider.”

He then turned to Rimuru. “Welcome to our humble town, we are so honored to have you here. I am the elder of this village.” Your friend bounced on his pillow. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you. So, what kind of favor did you guys need from me?” Oh right. You’re here because of a favor. Not because of the good food. You had to force yourself away from the platter of meat they gave you to pay attention.

“Have you perhaps noticed that many of the monsters in the area are unusually active as of late?” 

You clicked, turning to Rimuru. ‘What did I tell you?’ You said only to him. He flinched back, melting a little. ‘I told you it was gonna be chaos out here! And it’s your fault!’

‘Sorry..’

“Uh, no?” The elder’s shoulders drooped. “Our god, who has always protected us, suddenly disappeared without a trace about a month ago. As a result, the monsters around this area have started to continually harass our poor village.”

‘Their...god? A month ago?’ You sent a sharp glare at Rimuru. ‘Veldora. Your fault.’

‘Right.. You did tell me this was going to happen..’

‘Uhuh.’

“We tried to fight them off ourselves, but we simply lack the numbers.” The elder continued. The other Goblin, the one who led that search party with the broken-down tools, spoke up. “And that’s why we asked you to come here!”

“I don’t know, I’m just a lowly Slime!” You snort at that, skittering back over to your food. “I’m really not that strong so I doubt I’d be too much help.” 

The elder laughed in response. “You’re so modest.”

“And funny, too!” A question mark appeared on his head, and you point a claw at him. ‘Please tell me you aren’t actually that oblivious.’

“Huh?”

“There’s no way that a mere Slime would emit such an overwhelming aura! It’s quite obvious that you’re a very powerful monster!” The elder replied with the younger Goblin nodding along. You smacked a claw against your face at the blank look they received. ‘You’re really that oblivious?! It’s part of the reason why I was terrified of you in the first place!’

You received no answer, but then Rimuru started to sweat heavily. (How the fuck can he sweat? He’s a Slime! Slimes don’t sweat!) ‘Oh, shit! Is that really my aura?!’

‘Yes! Yes, it is!’ You snap back at him before gobbling up the rest of your food to stew silently in your annoyance. ‘(Y/N), I am so sorry, I didn’t even know!’ While he says this to you, he starts laughing. (You were the only one who could hear the nervous tinge it held.) “You noticed, huh? How wise of you!”

“But of course, strong one! There’s no hiding your rather formidable air that surrounds you.” The elder smiled at him and Rimuru nervously bounced. “I should have known I wouldn’t be able to fool the village elder! You’ve all shown a great deal of potential! Congratulations!” 

You snorted, cleaning your claws as he struggled to suck in his aura. He eventually managed it and the elder gasped. “Ah! I understand now! You were testing us! Hopefully, enough of our people were appropriately frightened at your powerful aura!”

“Uh, yeah! Totally! I’m impressed you were brave enough to speak to me at all!” If you could roll your eyes, you would be. ‘You have no clue as to what you’re doing, do you?’

‘Is it that obvious?!’

‘Only to me. I think.’ You finish cleaning your claws and stand up, skittering on over to him once more. 

“You honor us with your kind words. Now, regarding the favor we wish to ask you..”

“Ah! Yes, what is it?” Rimuru and you turned your attention back to the elder, who then proceeded to recount all the attacks from a pack of Direwolves the past month. You lowered your head to show respect at the mention of the Goblins who had lost their lives during these attacks. When you looked back up, tears were welling up in both Goblins’ eyes. “Altogether, there are about one hundred Direwolves.”

Rimuru wiggled a little, turning his ‘face’ to the Goblin faces peeking through the closed-cloth doors. “How many people do you have?”

“Including women, we have about sixty who can still fight.” You plopped yourself down and crossed your top pair of legs as Rimuru melted in his seat. ‘Those aren’t very good odds.. It’s like a boss level in a video game.’

You slowly nodded. ‘Yeah. And they’re all too low-leveled to even stand a chance.’

“So, that Goblin warrior went and fought against wolves even though he knew he couldn’t possibly win?” 

The elderly Goblin’s hand clenched. “Yes. Even though he knew the odds were against him, he gave his life so he could bring us information on our foes.” He bowed down, shoulders shaking as the younger Goblin lowered his head with a tortured expression twisting his features. “You see, that warrior was my son and his older brother.”

You covered your face with your legs while Rimuru apologized quietly. “Elder? I do have a question.”

“Y-Yes, sir?” Rimuru turned back from studying the worried Goblin faces the two of you could see peeking in. “What’s in it for me? What would I get in return if I decide to help you? There has to be something you guys can offer.” It was silent for a long time. You sent a glare to him.

‘Before you kill me,’ Rimuru leaned away from you minuscule, ‘I don’t want compensation, but they see me as a powerful monster. It would be weird for a strong monster to help weaker ones without anything in return.’ You huff. ‘So you’re putting on an act. Of course.’

“We,” The two of you turned back to the elder Goblin, “We can offer our unfaltering loyalty.” He fell back down into a bow, and you couldn’t help but uncomfortably shift at his display. “Please, strong one, I’m begging you to grant us your divine protection! And in return, our whole village will swear to you!”

His son followed his lead and bowed. “We promise!” They waited with bated breath for your answers. You turned to your friend.

‘Rimuru. We can’t just leave these guys hanging..’

‘I agree.’ He replied. ‘It’d be too much of a dick move to say no to this.’ Just then, screams rang out as a distant yet loud howl echoed in the air. The two Goblins gasped and ran out of the hut. You shared a look with Rimuru before crawling after him, the Slime hopping onto your back.

You emerged from the hut just as the elder was attempting to calm his people. “Now now, everyone! Just remain calm!”

Rimuru hopped once on your back. “You have nothing to fear!” The Goblins turned to him with terrified tears in their eyes. “Because we’re going to defeat them!” 

The elder gasped. “S-So...you?” Rimuru, glancing around at the gathered Goblins, nodded. “In lieu of Veldora the Storm Dragon, I, Rimuru Tempest, will protect you! I’ve decided to grant you your wish.” The Goblins all fell to their knees one by one, thanking him. The elder dropped his staff and shakily bowed. “Thank you so much, Lord Rimuru! We are eternally grateful to you, and from this day forward, we are your loyal servants!”

“You can count on me!”

You raise a claw. ‘Don’t forget about me! I’ll help protect you guys, too!’

“THANK YOU SO MUCH, LORD RIMURU, MISS SPIDER!”

notes: and these two are finally talking! hope the wait for them to actually meet wasn't too long.. let me know what you guys think!

(we all know what he was thinking in that sneaking scene, don't we? *wink*)

anyways! stay safe out there and please remember that you're all AWESOME! XP

[kizzywh]

David Rossi x reader-  Recovery.

Warnings- self harm mentions (graphic warning?)

Bio: David Rossi is there for the reader when they self-harm and gives them encouragement to move on. I hope this fic helps you in some way. My messages are open if anyone needs to talk, but this seems like something Rossi would deal with quite well.  

 about 500 words :)

Sitting on the cold bathroom tiles, staring up at the ceiling, I cry. Hot tears of rage, frustration, of pain; of pain that just minutes ago I had taken out on my arms. I was in the bathroom at David Rossi’s mansion. One of the many bathrooms, I had laughed to myself. This was my favourite. The cold, blue hues of the room contrasted with the pools of red now staining the floor.

I didn’t know why I did it. What had caused that fragile bit of hope to snap, to have me sat here now, at one of Rossi’s parties, the team downstairs, enjoying some champagne and some pasta de Rossi, after another successful case. I only wished I could enjoy it. I just prayed no one would find me here until after I had done, but right now, all I could do was to rest my forehead against the cool bath edge.

The door unclicks, and there is a knock. “Hello? y/n? your pasta, it is going cold-… oh”. Rossi’s voice, entering the room now, and to my surprise, he doesn’t panic like I expected him too. Instead, he kneels down on the floor next to me, shutting the door, and locking it behind him. Barely able to look at him, I apologise, sniffling. “I’m sorry- I’m so sorry. I am going to clean up- I promise, there won’t be a speck of blood left”. He rolls his eyes. “Bella, that is the least of my issues right now. First, let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?”.

Wincing, as he cleans and bandages my wounds, we sit in silence. I’m embarrassed. This shouldn’t have happened here. Of all places. Rossi says quietly, “how long?”, looking up, I catch his eye, see the sorrow in them, and fight back tears again. “I can’t stop, Rossi, I can’t. it’s all the time.”. fastening the last of the bandages, he takes my hand.

“Bella. Do you do it every day?”, I nod, “every hour?”, I shake my head, “every minute of the day?”, I shake my head again. He nods, pressing a kiss to my forehead, before whispering, “then you are surviving. One day, it won’t be every few hours, and then it won’t be every day, and before long, you may never do it again. But if you do? Then I’ll be here. My door is always open for you, y/n. recovery isn’t linear.” He chuckles, “Reid could give you many statistics on self-harm, but I doubt that would be useful right now.” He stands, offering his hand to help me up, and standing now, he points to us in the mirror, wiping the tears from my eyes and smoothing a hand over my hair. “This. This is what we have, a strong young person, who is going to get through this. You’ll get through this. I promise.”

[evilwickedme]

The +1 is one of Bruce's love interests asking his kids for permission

So this ask is referring to my tags on this post by @darsky17 where various slash pairings for the batkids try to bribe Bruce into giving them their blessing to marry his kids and I said this would be a cute 5+1 if I could think of a plus one and I love this so much !!!

Anyway I wrote it

before we get married, I need to get permission from Batman

also on ao3 here

1

Bruce has never seen Wally West this nervous – or at the very least, he’s never known him to sit in his nervousness for this long. It’s been a solid minute of sitting in absolute silence in his office in Wayne Manor, and he can’t help but wonder why he’s been called into this meeting by the Flash.

“Wally,” he gruffs, hoping it’ll prompt the kid to say something. Well, kid – neither he nor Dick were really kids anymore, were they, approaching thirty as they were. They were settling down, and Bruce was feeling more and more his age nowadays.

Wally releases a nervous laugh. “Bruce.”

Bruce sighs. “If you’re not going to tell me why you’ve asked me here, I do have business to attend to.”

“No, wait!” Wally says, blushing. “Oh, I don’t know how to say this.”

Bruce was very careful not to let his frustration show. He was aware that he could be… intimidating, when he wasn’t in control of his expressions.

Wally grabs a pen and random piece of paper from his desk as quick as – well – the Flash, and scribbles something on the back of it, before handing it back to Bruce.

Can I marry your son? is scribbled in nigh-illegible handwriting on the back of it.

Bruce breathes a sigh of relief. Is this what this all was about? “Is that all?”

Wally nods once.

“Of course, Wally,” Bruce says, to Wally’s visible relief. “I honestly am a little surprised you even asked. The two of you have known each other for over a decade, and I’ve trusted you with my life in the field.”

“Yeah, but now you’re trusting me with your son,” Wally says.

“And now I’m trusting you with my son,” Bruce agrees. “For the rest of your lives, hopefully.”

2

Bruce comes home to absolute chaos. It’s a full house for Thanksgiving tonight, but he didn’t expect most of the guests to arrive until much later – and he’s still a little surprised whenever these particular guests arrive at all, although it’s always a pleasant one.

“Jason,” Bruce sighs, “why is Damian threatening Lian with his katana?”

Lian Harper, a very bright seven year old who also happened to be Jason’s partner’s daughter, was currently holding onto Titus for dear life as Jason and Roy Harper – said partner of Jason’s – worked together to keep Damian from slicing her to pieces.

“Miss Lian made a comment regarding keeping Titus to herself,” Alfred provides. “Master Damian took it badly.”

“He’s cute!” Lian yells.

“He’s not yours!” Damian yells back, struggling to get past Jason’s bulk.

“Damian!” Bruce snaps. “Lian isn’t taking Titus, and even if she was, it will never be appropriate for you to threaten a seven year old with your katana!”

“Yeah, you tell ‘im,” Jason says.

“Why are you here, Jason?” Bruce says wearily, instead of dealing with Jason’s unnecessary tone. Damian, luckily, finally backs off and is guided away by Alfred, who Bruce sends a quick grateful look towards. “Not that I don’t want to see you, we just weren’t expecting anyone until three at the earliest.”

“Actually, it was because of me,” says a sheepish Roy. “I didn’t expect it to get so dramatic, 

but I needed to have a quick word with you before everybody else arrives.”

Jason just shrugs when Bruce looks at him. “If it were up to me, this conversation wouldn’t be happening, just go talk to him.”

“Uh,” Bruce says. Then he suggests, “Shall we go downstairs?”

“This is an upstairs conversation,” Jason says confidently. “Come on, I’ll go get Lian something to eat in the kitchen, you can talk in the lounge or something.”

Lounge it was.

The two of them sat down facing each other, and Roy immediately started speaking. “I want to marry Jason.”

Bruce blinks.

“We’ve talked about it, and it’s what’s best. I’ve been a stabilizing influence in his life, and Lian is attached to him now. He wants to adopt her. And we’ve been living together for two years now, it just seems like the next logical step. And he’d never admit it, but he loves when shit’s traditional and whatnot, so before I can buy the ring and actually propose I’m asking you for his hand. But if you say no we’re never showing up to Thanksgiving ever again.”

Bruce has managed to blink twice more before Roy finishes his speech.

He’s experiencing the most bizarre sense of de ja vu. It was somehow both more complicated and a lot simpler with Wally and Dick than it is with Roy and Jason.

“Say something,” Roy says, a smidgen of nervousness creeping into his voice.

“You love him?”

Because the thing is, Bruce knew there was a physical aspect to Jason and Roy’s partnership, and he’d suspected there was more to it, that there were feelings involved as well. But they’d never acted like a couple. So he just… has to be sure.

Roy visibly relaxes. “Is that all?”

Bruce nods.

“Yeah, Bruce,” he says. “I love him. I’ve been loving him. I’ll keep on loving him, too. As long as he’ll have me. Wouldn’t marry him otherwise.”

“Then yes,” Bruce says.

Roy nods once, then gets up, wiping his hands on the front of pants as if from sweat. He couldn’t have possibly been actually worried about Bruce’s answer, had he?

“I’m going to go find my daughter and future husband, then,” he says.

3

It’s a quiet night in the middle of the week when Spoiler unexpectedly joins Batman on a roof during patrol.

He’s surveilling the warehouse below for any suspicious activity.

There has, so far, not been any suspicious activity.

Steph makes some small talk, which passes half an hour just fine. He asks her about her classes, and if she’s getting enough sleep. She assures him she doesn’t have any Thursday morning classes, which wasn’t what he’d been asking, but also wasn’t not what he’d been asking.

After a while, though, the night goes quiet. Bruce is pretty sure Steph joined him specifically to say whatever it is that she’s getting ready to say right now, so he doesn’t interrupt. That, and he’s never been particularly chatty.

“I know I’m not your daughter,” Steph says.

Bruce recoils. “That – ”

“No, wait, that came out wrong,” Steph says quickly. “I don’t mean that – ugh. Okay. Let’s start over, can we start over?”

Bruce waits, knowing she’ll take that for the permission to continue that it is.

“I’m in love with your daughter,” she says. “I have been for a while. And I’m not saying it’s coming up any time soon, but I guess what I was wondering is… how you would feel if I was part of your family. For real, I mean.”

“Spoiler,” Bruce says.

“I’m not asking you to be my dad,” Steph continues as if uninterrupted.

“Spoiler, I,” Bruce says, and this time waits for Steph to make sure she’s done. Once convinced, he continues, “I know I’ve been… less than perfect, with you especially. But I hope it’s never been in doubt that I. I want the best for my children. And that blood or not, I. I love you, like one of my children. And I would be eternally grateful to have you as a member of my family.”

Steph says nothing, just looks at the warehouse Bruce has been neglecting. Bruce waits for her to respond, but eventually looks back at the warehouse as well. Nothing new.

She pounces on him, hugging him from the side as tight as she can. “Thank you,” she says wetly, then, before he can make a decision on what to do with his arms, she darts away. “I’ll see you around, Batman. Also, I’m pretty sure the operation in this warehouse cleared out last week, Oracle said something about it last time I talked to her.”

Batman doesn’t swear, but he comes close to it right then.

4&5

Spending a weekend at the Kent farm sounded a lot more pleasant in theory than it ended up being. There was no room, for one, so Jon and Damian and Kon and Tim had both doubled up, while Bruce ended up on the couch, having had to fight the Kents for the privilege of not replacing them in their own beds.

“You wouldn’t have anywhere to sleep if I did,” Bruce points out. “It’s fine.”

And it would’ve been. If it weren’t for the fact that farm sleeping schedules were entirely antithetical to his own. Batman was the Night Incarnate, and Bruce often ended up in bed at four, five, or even six am.

Jonathan and Martha Kent were up at sunrise, and Clark joined them to help, and Bruce could not sleep through the racket the two of them were pulling in the kitchen while also having the audacity to stage whisper, as if that was any quieter than speaking.

So he was understandably cranky when a scant two hours later, at the abominably early hour of seven am, he was awoken by the two Kent boys’ fight.

“I’ll be the first!”

“No, I’ll be the first, you’re literally twelve!”

“Age is only a number!”

“Where the hell did you even hear that?”

“What is going on?”

Oh good, Lois has joined whatever this is. Bruce gives up any semblance of sleep.

“Oh, um.”

“Jon and I were just…”

“They were,” a yawn punctuates Tim’s introduction to the conversation. Bruce gets off the couch. “They were fighting over which one of them would get to marry a Wayne.”

“Tt. Ridiculous. It’s clearly Jon.”

“I’m not fighting with you over this. I’m going back to bed. Don’t fight with your twelve year old brother about stupid shit, Kon.”

“But Tim,” Kon whines.

Bruce arrives at the scene of the crime – the hallway at the top of the stairs. The conversation immediately stops dead.

“You can both marry my sons, assuming they are an appropriate age and not already married to someone else, in this hypothetical future marriage proposal,” Bruce says. “But only if, and I do mean only if, I get some damn sleep between now and then.”

Jon and Kon both look properly chastened. Tim, who was also arguing for sleep, looks vindicated, while Damian chooses, as was to be expected, to hide his embarrassment, and Lois has never been scared of Bruce in her life, which is one of the main reasons he likes her.

“Come on, cranky pants, you can use Clark’s bed now that we’re all awake,” she tells him.

Her practical, hands on approach to solving problem was another reason, of course.

+1

There were so many kids in this house nowadays. But only six of them were, legally, Bruce’s. So Selina approaches those six first.

“Dick, Jason,” she says, “Tim, Duke, Cass, Damian. Thank you so much for coming.”

“Selina,” Jason says, sounding amused. “Thanks for the role call. Are we here for a specific reason, or?”

“Hmm, well,” Selina says. Then she shows her hand – literally.

Tim whistles. “That one’s much nicer than the last one. Assuming you didn’t steal it?”

“That’s fair,” she says. “No, I didn’t steal it. He asked, again. And I said yes, again.”

“This is going to be a disaster,” Jason says gleefully.

Dick hits his arm. “Don’t be like that, Jay,” he says, “you’ve been living in married bliss for like, four years. Maybe something rubbed off on him.”

“Tt. As if Father has anything to learn from Todd,” Damian says snootily. Selina resists the urge to scratch him between the ears like a slightly hissy cat.

“Well, maybe not nothing,” Selina says. “He made quite a convincing case that we could make it work this time. And I want to.”

“You do?” Duke asks, suspicious. Also fair.

“I promise,” Selina swears. “Is that okay by all of you?”

“Cass?” Tim asks.

“Truth,” Cass says simply.

Tim shrugs. “Good enough for me.”

Dick smiles at her.

Damian tuts, but it’s almost friendly.

Duke nods.

Jason shrugs. “If he wants to try again, we’re not going to stop him.”

Selina smiles. She knows that this really is – acceptance.

“Thank you,” she says. “I can’t wait to be a part of this family.”