#until you've seen AN ENTIRE COMMENT SECTION full of this

[kaldurcalm]

Got irritated enough by notifs on another site to come out swinging, which is not something I enjoy about myself but

....annywayyy, there's this vid of this vet tech getting excited to see a patient and then walking away in quiet defeat because the whiteboard outside the exam room says the dog HATES men.

The comment section is full of people saying dogs only ever hate men.

Yeah, yeah, I get it, patriarchy, blah blah blah. I live with it. I know the drill.

This type of rhetoric doesn't actually help anyone. Generally speaking, if a statement makes an entire group of people out to be bad or untrustworthy because of a trend, it's time to step back and examine some things.

First of all: some of these people are genuinely convinced that dogs only ever hate men, because only men do the sort of things a dog would hate.

This is gonna set them up for a bad time if they ever meet a woman a dog should be scared of.

I can practically hear it now: "oh I've never even heard of a dog being scared of a woman before! It's always the men." And then they'll go in for multiple paragraphs' worth of speech about how a dog disliking a woman is just soooo surprising, because women are obviously sooo likeable and trustworthy.

Every woman.

All the time.

*feminine eyeroll*

Dogs are also often afraid of hats. It is more reasonable to condition them to be okay with the hats than it is to expect your dog to never encounter a hat, unless you plan on never taking your dog anywhere that other people are. Which is not the reality for a lot of people.

It would be absurd to say that hats are bad, or that a person who wears a hat is more likely to be a bad person, and yet... actually people do this, which just makes me even more tired.

Look, the point is, if you expect men to probably be bad then you're creating unnecessary stress for yourself around men. YES I KNOW ABOUT SOCIAL DYNAMICS. I'm not talking about the patriarchy right now. I'm talking about how your thinking affects your brain.

Women can rob or rape you just the same as men can. If you're not expecting it from a woman because they're a woman, you're going to be less prepared.

It doesn't do anyone any good to keep the "Oh yeah men are usually the ones to be afraid of!" mentality going. It's not fair to anyone involved.

Also. Isn't this terf rhetoric? Or at least terf adjacent?

Saying that you've only ever seen dogs who are afraid of men is one thing. That's a common experience. The thing is, a lot of people are using their experiences to discount the possibility of another one, and it's just not realistic.

I'm a woman, and if I were to learn that a dog is afraid of women, I would turn on my heel and leave that dog the fuck alone until instructed to do otherwise.

A lot of the people who insist that dogs aren't afraid of women would not.

[alephskoteinos]

OK, there is something about this sort of line that irks me and I feel the need to address this idea right now, especially because the Tumblr comment sections won't let me explore my issue in full.

The pop cultural representation of Satan and Hitler being talked about is based on a lot of bad ideas. It has nothing to do with Hitler being a kind of evil archetype (he wasn't, he was just an asshole antisemitic failson who committed genocide), and everything to do with our society's attempts to try and understand how the horrors of the Holocaust, the Third Reich, and World War 2 could all be possible.

One of the ways people tried to explain that is through the idea that the Nazis were ontologically evil because they were spiritually evil. This means the idea that the Nazis were evil because they practiced "black magic", were into the occult, and opposed Christianity. Some people even tried to claim that Hitler was possessed by demons. This would be one way how popular culture in Christian capitalist democracies receives the notion of Hitler as some sort of archetypal evil. But of course it's all nonsense. The overwhelming majority of the Nazis, including Hitler himself, were Christians, and some form of Christianity was enshrined as the religious basis of National Socialist ideology.

Let's say it for everyone in the back: Nazism is a Christian fascist ideology!

Of course there were exceptions, a handful of Nazis who ostensibly did not consider themselves pagans despite this fact. But these were often ridiculed or ultimately pushed out. Even Heinrich Himmler's ostensible rejection of Christianity was really quite superficial: on the one hand he was ostensibly a non-Christian "God-believer", but on the other hand he was only really anti-clericalist rather than anti-Christian, having more issue with the church as it existed than the teachings of Christianity themselves.

So using this trope to talk about the relationship between Satanism and Nazism is simply wrong-headed. There are people who do make the connection between Hitler and a general idea of "evil" in that they seem opposed to Christian society, and that probably does animate certain Nazi Satanist trends and also things like NSBM (shit like Nazi black metal does exist after all), but that whole thread is made possible by the cultural zeitgeist of Christian capitalist societies and their attempt to separate Nazism from the continuum of capitalist statecraft in which it emerged and from which it drew life. Christianity and capitalism can't ever accept their role in ultimately generating Nazism, because it will always taint them, so it must externalise Nazism in every possible respect until it appears as some kind of demonic outside emerging from the abyss to tear society apart, and not the folkist Christian ideology and logical extension of capitalist hegemony that it actually is.

Besides, we all know Nazism is not entirely transgressive. The law is illustrative in this regard, because even though you will be arrested if you get involved in neo-Nazi terrorist activities, the police still tend to protect you if you rally in support of neo-Nazism. Fascism itself tends to appear as an element of social heterogeneity, which explains its appearance in certain subcultures, while actually always appearing in the employ of social homogeneity. And if you've been paying attention to the Right for long enough, you've probably already seen Nazism by another name emerge as a disturbingly respectable ideology served up by the bourgeoisie and right-wing think tanks in the media. In many respects, Nazism as a kind of evil outside in relationship to society remains a facade. That Satanists may fall for the idea shows only their failure as Satanists and nothing else.

The same ultimately goes for the Order of Nine Angles, some of whose members, strangely enough, do not even claim to be Satanists. Nazism is a core component of their ideology, which means some of their racial Christianity without the name. True, a certain form of ritual moral transgression is part of their belief system, that much is well documented, but I think the author of the comment understands this as being for its own sake, which is ultimately only an appearance. They do everything that they do in the hopes of bringing their gods into the world, and in turn spiritually transforming themselves into fascist godmen and bringing about their "Galactic Imperium" (btw, that's also pretty much a spin on fascism by way of Francis Parker Yockey).

To couch opposition to "pure opposition" in this setting is ultimately very meaningless. For one thing, nothing really changes the fact that Satan is, among other things, opposition. I mean come on, that's in the name! The difference between all of us Satanists comes down to what that opposition means. For another, even the O9A has some definite parameters with opposition, and if you scratch beneath the surface of their occult transgression you will find that their rejection of morality is actually just couched in a fascist rejection of "decadence", which of course, being the Nazi antisemites that they are, they blame on Jews.

"Pure opposition" is a concept that begs elaboration in this context. If by this we mean the total opposition to society and the moral basis thereof, then, taken seriously, that's just anarchism. And before fascists ever got their hands on Satanism, it was, even if as a romantic literary device, embraced by the anarchists of the past precisely because it meant uncompromising rebellion and opposition to the state and its web of values. For this reason anarchists and Satanists both recognise themselves as fundamentally opposed to the moral basis of society. That idea has nothing to do with fascism.

[sweetescapeartist]

MY DBS MANGA CHAPTER 72 REVIEW... 😒

Hey there... Here comes the review.

Imma start like this and use language some ppl may find offensive. Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah are retarded. Now that that's out of the way, time to dissect this "Dragon Ball Super coloring book."

Goku & Vegeta land on the planet & its peaceful. How are they not immediately suspicious? They see that the planet isn't in danger & no death. Its obvious they need to ask a question to figure out what lies they've been told.

I was gonna say its dumb for Granolah to be able to supress his ki because it seems only Earthling have that kind of spiritual understanding. But Namekians have that spiritual understanding too so maybe Monaito taught Granolah how to suppress his ki.

I lost interest in the Heeters' past. You can only tease me so long until I stop caring. At least mention something like Freeza almost killed Gas on planet Cereal so now that's why Gas keeps trying to get stronger. There's so little info about "important" stuff that's supposed to be important. Give readers a tease, hint, a different hint, some valuable info, then another hint, then a reaveal (or something similar!) Instead its tease, hint, tease, tease, hint, tease...

In all honesty, the chapter didn't even need that page with Gas & Elec. When Maki said Gas & Elec are coming, that was all we needed to know. Then we anticipate their arrival in the next chapter. Showing them is a waste of time & they add no real purpose to the chapter. That was just a waste of ink.

Also I'm bored of Gas now. He only looks interesting but does nothing. 👎

Granolah shoots at Goku & Vegeta. Base Goku closes his eyes to use UI (UI Omen?) while Vegeta goes SS. Base Goku dodges easier than Vegeta. Goku is leagues beyond Vegeta.

A better way to have Goku & Vegeta encounter Granolah would be for him to snipe at them right when they get off the ship. Granolah wanted to kill them so bad so why wait for them?

Somehow they go towards Granolah but he's too fast for them & they lose him. They can't sense him firing ki for some reason. Idk why Goku didn't use Instant Transmission when Granolah shot ki at them?

I don't get why Goku closes his eyes either. Its as if Goku can't use UI now unless his eyes are closed but that wasn't the case before. Eyes were opend when using UI Omen & Mastered UI. Toyo could have conveyed that better but instead he's making Goku close his eyes like how Roshi covered his eyes when fighting those prisoner women because their beauty distracted him. Is Goku distracted by Granolah's beauty or something?

Wait a sec... I gotta backtrack real quick. Goku used the Ultra Instinct technique in his base & didn't go into Ultra Instinct Omen? But thats him using it in base right? Oh boy... This is about to get dumb...

Ultra Idiot Goku & Super Stupid Vegeta are surprised that the guy having the title of "strongest in the universe" is capable of moving faster than them when they aren't at full power. Such genius writing.

Goku gets shot in the neck... & it knocks him out... Ok. But later Granolah comments on how Goku's body moves on it's own before Goku can even process an attacks. Not to mention Goku & Whis have said the same thing. Goku should be untouchable at this point, but for some reason he is not.

So, Vegeta takes a senzu bean from his "training bra" and gives it to Goku. For some reason they decided to only take 2 senzu when knowing they would fight a guy possibly stronger than them. Stupid monkeys.🐒 (I'm starting to sound like Freeza now)

How did unconscious Goku eat a senzu? Yaoi fans would had loved it if Vegeta chewed the senzu up for Goku and fed it to him. Sorry, it just reminded me of Trunks spitting senzu mush into Mai's mouth since she was unconscious.

Then we have this dialogue from "sensei" Vegeta, The Ultra Instinct Expert...

"You rely on Ultra Instinct too much! If you haven't perfected it yet, then dodge using your mind!" - Vegeta

"Yeah, you're right..." - Goku

"WTF Toyotaro!" - DB Meta

... I'm unsure who is the stupid one in this situation. Is it Goku or Vegeta? It could be Vegeta because UI is the ultimate technique that allows you to move without thinking. But Vegeta says that because Goku hasn't perfected Ultra Inst-...

...

...

Sorry, I had to restart my brain...

Didn't... didn't Goku master Ultra Instinct? Silver hair? Silver eyes? MASTERED/PERFECTED ULTRA INSTINCT? Before that, Goku perfected Ultra Instinct Omen & could go in it at will... So, Goku is listening to Vegeta tell him he hasn't mastered UI? But both know that Goku did master UI? What does Vegeta know? Vegeta can't even use UI.

I almost stopped reading the rest of the colouring book when I got to that dialogue.

Also, Granolah wants to kill Saiyans, so why is he holding back and not hitting them with deadly attacks. He only needs one alive anyways. He said so himself.

At least there was a good pose Goku was in. The art looked nice there.

Now here's another place I almost quit reading. Granolah apparently has all the abilities of Goku & Vegeta. Hack writing. Sounds like a Moro, 7-3, & Cell copy cat. Toyo just cant leave the Cell saga alone.

Granolah is bumping his gums & rattling his tongue (old slang for "talking a lot") but when Vegeta asks if Granolah holds a grudge against Saiyans, Granolah suddenly says that's enough talking. He responded to them 3 times & spoke like 5 sentences to them. If you're gonna chat then chat. If you hate Saiyans then don't say anything to them & try to kill them. Dummy.

Granolah uses Hakai. But aparently he's not using Hakai or Instant Transmission. Its just "similar." Sure. Confirms that he has been using something similar to UI in previous chapters too.

Granolah says they're stronger than expected because they escaped into the air. Escape doesn't equal strenght. Mai escaped Goku Black, doesn't mean she's extremely strong.

But seriously, Vegeta saying he's gonna prove his training is better than Goku is stupid. He wants to prove he is better than Goku yet he tells Goku to fight first (that's beta). It's as if he isn't confident & wants Goku to wear Granolah out first, so he can come in and look impressive. Kinda like in RoF after Freeza was tired from fighting Goku & Vegeta wasn't tired at all & he easily beat Freeza up. Looked cool, but actually wasn't too impressive.

Granolah saying that he's gonna shoot them if they don't fight him is ridiculous. Why is he showing mercy to the tribe that didn't show his ppl mercy? Why give chances to the ppl you wanted revenge on for years? Realistically he would just start blasting at them.

Unecessary dialogue from Vegeta talking to himself about how he needs to learn who Granolah is. Show don't tell Toyo.

Why is Granolah waiting for the Oozaru form? Maybe he wants to kill them in that form? What about revenge? Just kill them.

Goku screamed to power up from SS to SSG. That's possibly dumb, but I gotta let at least 1 thing slide this chapter.

Why did Granolah let them power up? So unlike what we've been shown what Granolah is like. Why would he want to give "murderers" of his entire race a fair chance to fight him?

Next, Goku doesn't try to explain he isn't savage like other Saiyans when Granolah accuses his kind of being so. Instead Goku just agrees & says "Oh... Yeah." I guess he really just wants to fight. I can't tell if this is OOC or just magnifying a Saiyan flaw of Goku just to push the story along. Idk. I'm losing brain cells reading this chapter.

Granolah's fighting stance is cool. Hey, look. I said a nice thing. (But why is he doing close combat when being a sniper us his specialty?)

So, Goku uses UI in SSG form... Bruh, is Ultra Instinct a technique, a state of mind, or a transformation? I'll tell you what it is. ULTRA INSTINCT IS A PLOT DEVICE! It does whatever Toyotaro decides at the moment. So freaking inconsistent... 😓😒

Ultra Instinct becomes more accurate when in conjunction with a SS form?! How tho? I thought it was just a goldy technique that needed a clear mind and control or whatever. Or is UI a transformation like Toyo stated many times in previous chapters, while also calling UI a technique? How can mixing a godly "technique" with a SS form enhance it better than Goku simply using UI Omen? It doesnt! Vegeta, you can just shut up! Every time you talk about UI, you've been wrong! It should be illegal impersonating an UI Expert.

Goku is using the Ultra Instinct technique in base form against Granolah.

UI Omen is Goku using the Ultra Instinct technique in base form.

Goku uses Ultra Instinct technique in the Super Saiyan God transformation.

Mastered UI is Goku mastering the technique or maybe using the technique as a transformation? (Toyo is confusing.)

So why isn't Goku going into UI Omen when using UI in base? Why does Vegeta say "Ultra Instinct... becomes more accurate when used in conjunction with a Super Saiyan form"? Does that mean Mastered UI is a Saiyan form in conjunction with the Ultra Instinct technique? So, there's an unknown silver haired Saiyan transformation that Goku was utilizing in conjunction with Ultra Instinct? I guess this confirms that "Super Saiyan Blanco" is real y'all.

I suppose that if UI in base isn't the same as UI Omen, then by that logic, there is also an unknown "Super Saiyan Noir" form we haven't seen yet.

I'm done with Ultra Instinct in the manga. Toytaro doesn't know if UI is a technique or a transformation. I could explain it better than him, but I'm not tye one writing official material. Why should I make sense of his bad writing when he will change things later? HE should explain it clearly to US. He is extremely inconsistent with his explanations and will change them when he feels like it.

I dont care what Geekdom101 says about UI being both technique & transformation, because Ultra Instinct IS NOT a transformation nor a technique anymore. ULTRA INSTINCT IS JUST A PLOT DEVICE. 😑

[You can skip this little section. I'm talking about inconsistencies from the Moro arc]

I remember when I talked about how Moro's life draining powers were retconned multiple times.

Moro can absorb life energy from a planet while he is in outer space, then he is nerfed to only being able to take life energy by directly touching you, later Vegeta says they need to get off the ground because now Moro (who is stronger and fused with the planet) can only steal your life enrgy while making contact with you. He could absorb life energy from entire planets from space, but has to make contact with somebody once he got stronger?

Let's not forget it's said Moro drains life energy, but can't drain 17 & 18 because they say they don't have life energy. I guess that means Krillin had a daughter with a dead woman? No. Multiple times, 17 & 18 contributed to the Genki Dama (a collection of life energy). Goku gathers energy from trees, animals, ppl, everything living. This means 17 & 18 do have life energy because they are living beings. But the energy they fight with is unlimited artificial energy.

So if 17 & 18 can give life energy to Goku for a Genki Dama, then Moro should be able to take their life energy just like anyone else. What he can't take is their energy they use for battle because itsunlimited & artificial. Toyotaro does not understand this important detail nor does he understand many other details about these iconic character. So why is the the writer if he is getting so much wrong? Why is he not soley the artist?

Goku uses UI in SSG form to dodge a barrage of attacks from Granolah that are aimed at the planet. They must be weak attacks because the explosions are tiny. Is Granolah really trying to kill them?

Goku using UI in SSG but somehow gets caught off gaurd. Did UI just get nerfed so that Vegeta can look like he is on the same level as Goku in a later chapter? I think it did...

Granolah took Goku down a second time... Wow Goku, you kinda suck. In DBS CH 65 on page 11, after Moro broke his arm on UI Goku's chest, Whis said "When Ultra Instinct is honed to this extent, the body will automatically grow sturdier as necessary." Why is Goku holding back against the strongest in the universe? Oh yeah, that's right... UI is getting nerfed.

Vegeta, what do you mean "How is he learning Kakarot's weaknesses so quickly?" Everybody has similar vital spots in DB. Thats not learning, thats just knowing. Are you just a dummy, Vegeta? Do you not know where vital spots are?

Granolah can tell Goku's body is moving before his brain tells him to react. Granolah the UI "expert" can see all with his eye. You know who else can see with their eye? Tien. Speaking of Tien, I wanna go back to Earth now. What's Piccolo doing? I bet everyone on Earth is chilling or at work. Is it bad I'd rather watch Gohan at a conference than watch Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah be dummies? I'd rather watch Chi-Chi cooking with vegetables instead of watching vegetable puns fight a cereal pun. I'm sorry, the dialogue is just so bad...

How does Granolah's right eye being able to observe blood flow & muscle movements let you know where to strike? Dude, vital spots are where your organs are, & pressure points, & your head area, & you arteries, & so on. Ya ain't gotta observe blood flow to know that. Granolah just making stuff up now to sound cool. News flash, you failed. If he was sniping and able to track them based on blood flow and muscle movement, then that would had been smarter writing.

Granolah: "This right eye of mine is the sharpest in all the universe. It sees all."

Your eye sees all Granolah? Can you see past the Heeters feeding you bullcrap too?

Yo, where did Granolah's barely existing personality go? He wss once driven by revenge, and now the opportunity for revenge is right here in front of him & he's acting like he doesn't want it. If revenge is his only noticeable personality trait, what happens when you take it away? You get bland and dry Granolah.

So then Veget- hold on! Thats it! Granolah's name pun is granola because he is meant to be a bland character! I get it now! So all his moves must be cereal puns!

I never realized how genius this character is!

Detective Vegeta: "A tribe driven to extinction, known for their evolved right eyes... This is starting to sound familiar..." 🕵

Tien?! Oh wait... he said right, not 3rd eye. Jiren?! Oh wait, that's both his eyes... Jaco!? That's both eyes too... I give up.

Granolah's eye can tell that Goku is not using his full power, yet he can't tell he is being fooled by the Heeters. I think he needs new glasses or at least clean the revenge smear off of his monocle.

Granolah casually chats with a Saiyan who is one of the ppl he wants to kill. He would be better if he barely talked and just acted. Granolah should be like Iron Man in "Captain America: Civil War." Not trying to talk, just trying to kill because he is angry and wants revenge.

Goku: "Granolah, we don't work for Freeza & the two of us didn't attack your planet."

Granolah: "I dont care... Your people killed my family."

Boom! Gimme an award!

Back to the chapter 72 colouring book...

Granolah: "Hurry and get on with it. I have no duty to wait for your sake."

Yet you've been waiting all this time for them to arrive, fight them, chat with them, & even waiting for him to transform right now. You got time. You got 3 yrs to waste. You can chat for 10 minutes or so.

Granolah tells Goku that he doesn't have time to wait, then says "It's no skin off my nose to kill you where you stand." Then he waits for Goku to transform... Just kill Goku and be done with it already. Its not like Vegeta can win if Goku can't.

Granolah: "I dont have time for talk."

Goku: "Ok lets fight!"

Granolah: "Ok but, let me tell you about what my eye can do. I'm really proud of it. Mind if I talk a bit? So I sacrificed my life to defeat Freeza, the guy you're working for."

Goku: "What? You don't like Freeza? You're not a bad guy?"

Granolah: "Shut up Saiyan! You'll pay! Fight me!"

Granolah doesn't want to talk about Freeza all of the sudden when Goku implies they both have been tricked. Granolah becomes stupid just so the fight continues. There's a better way to keep them fighting. SHUT UP, GRANOLAH! If he talked less then convoluted stuff like this wouldn't happen.

Granolah yells "Take this!" He powers up instead of doing an attack... Why yell "take this" then power up if you aren't gonna attack right away? You even knocked Goku out of SSG, so now is the perfect time to finish him.

Blah blah blah, Goku goes SSB and they fight, blah blah blah.

Hey look! In my last review I said something about the planet should shake or be in danger from the battle. Looks like Toyo made the planet shake from the battle. Good job. I like this detail. Will it matter later on? Probably not.

Also, ya notice how god ki and god transformations are limited in this chapter? It seem they got too powerful for there to be any stakes. So we see Vegeta in base & SS. Then we see Goku in base, SS, SSG, base, & SSB so that false tension can build. Its smart but the dialogue doesn't compliment this smart tactic.

Aparently Vegeta doesn't care about the fight. Detective mode activate! (🕵) Vegeta standing in that Oozaru footprint looks like he's in Jurassic Park lol. But why did Detective Vegeta have to touch the footprint? He could had just looked at everything when he was high up and had a bird's eye view. Did Detective Vegeta taste the soil & gain knowledge by tasting the past?

Detective Vegeta: "I think I know who he is."

The Heeters said his name is Granolah, dummy. Shouldn't you say "I think I know what happened here." or something like that? Gimmie your detective hat, your trench coat, your bubble pipe, & you magnifying glass! You give detectives a bad name! I'll give this to somebody more deserving, like Jaco, Videl, Krillin, or Hit.

Did ya notice that Vegeta didn't get hit once but Goku who is using UI gets hit multiple times? Vegeta tells Goku to think instead of use UI? Oh yeah, this chapter was to pander to Vegeta fans. Toyo is poorly trying to convey he is equal or above Goku somehow. Like Vegeta mastered his training but Goku hasn't despite having mastered UI as a transformation thingy.

In conclusion, I was right. Freeza still hasn't been seen yet. Show a pic of him in somebody's thought bubble at the very least. This is all happening because if his influence y'all. Still no visual of Freeza yet... Whateva.

This chapter was wack. Too much unintelligent & unreasonable & unrealistic & unnecessary dialogue, plot went nowhere, Goku is being handicapped so the fight can continue, everyone are stupid idiots, Vegeta is being built up to lose his battle or get lucky & win. No image of Freeza still... This was just a very, very boring chapter.

I expect the next chapter to be boring too. Probably won't see Freeza either.

Prediction

Goku got knocked down twice by Granolah, Vegeta decided to fight second, Granolah said he doesn't need to keep Goku alive, & Vegeta told Goku he should stop relying on UI... Sounds like UI is getting nerfed & Goku is gonna need to be saved by Vegeta so that Vegeta can show off his Hakai training in comparison to UI.

[spencers-dria]

Slaying Dragons

Someone To Stay Ch. 18

Spencer x fem reader

I start to gather my things as I finish up the last bit of paperwork piled on the corner of my desk. With a wave and a quick round of goodbyes, I make my way to the elevator.

Thirty minutes later I am standing outside of Y/N's door. I know we are dating now, but she still makes me nervous. I figured I would surprise her by stopping by after work.

After three swift knocks I hear a muffled reply. "It's open."

I step in to see Y/N curled up on the couch in a blanket, her eyes are bloodshot and her face is red and tear-stained. I quickly drop my bag and rush to kneel in front of her.

I reach up to move her hair out of her face as she looks up, her eyes finally meeting mine. "What's wrong?  What happened? Are you okay?"

I feel a slight panic as my mind runs through every possible scenario. She just manages to motion towards the television screen in front of her. I turn glance over my shoulder to see one of her favorite medical dramas is playing.

"Y/N, it's okay. It's just a show remember? It will be alright."

I rub my hand across her knee in an attempt to sooth her. I am settled by the fact that nothing is seriously wrong, but I know she still needs comfort.

She shakes her head and looks at me again. I have seen her cry during some of our movie nights. This is different. I can see it in her eyes. She's truly hurting. I move up onto the couch, sitting next to her and completely enveloping her in my embrace, leaving a kiss on top of her head.

I whisper softly "What's wrong sweet girl?"

"It's not just a show. Their patient who was dying, they couldn't do anything to stop it. Sometimes neither can we...Sometimes I feel so helpless. I watch family members breakdown. I see patients who don't even understand what's happening to them. There is so much hurt and pain and death."

I feel my heart sink in my chest. I am all too familiar with the feeling. She knows all too well the feeling of what I go through at work. I'm not sure if I ever stopped to consider that before. We both see death and loss. Neither of us have complete control, both of us do out best to save lives, to make a difference. Sometimes there's nothing we can do. Knowing all this to be true, I know there is nothing I can say to convince her she is wrong, because she isn't. So instead I continue to comfort her the best I can.

I rub her back as I rock her back and forth, in attempt to slow her breathing and calm her down. After awhile of being held, she takes a deep breath before leaning back to wipe her eyes.

"Thank you, so much Spencer. I don't deserve you. I'm sorry you had to see me like this. It's just been a rough week at work."

I reach out to hold her face, bringing her gaze back to me.

"Don't ever apologize for your feelings. You've already helped me through several breakdowns. And with my job I can guarantee there will plenty more. We may never be able to completely take away the pain of others, but we have to appreciate the people that we can help and the things we can do to make a difference. I know how much you care about your patients. They are so lucky to have you caring for them."

As I try to comfort her with my words I wipe away the last few tears. I'm rewarded with her warm smile shining back at me.

"What do you say tonight we watch a movie, your choice, and then tomorrow we can go shop for those Halloween costumes you talked about?"

Her eyes lit up as she quickly nodded. We spend the rest of the evening cuddled up on the couch watching our way through several cheesy Halloween movies.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I return the next morning, sending a quick text to let her know I am on my way. Before I can get out of the car to head to her apartment, she's bolting down the stairs, ready to go. She plops down in the passenger seat, a huge grin spread across her face.

"Someone's excited for today?" I chuckle at her enthusiasm.

I look over to the passenger seat to see her in an oversized Halloween sweatshirt and denim shorts. She has mismatched socks on under her converse. One is purple with dogs in costumes, the other grey with black cats and pumpkins. Her hair is hung in loose messy waves, my favorite.

She leans over to kiss my cheek before answering. "Considering you and Halloween are my two favorite things, can you really be surprised?"

I feel my face warming at the compliment. I'm not used to such open comments about her affection towards me, and I don't think I will ever grow tired of it.

I reach her phone and plug it in as she gives me a questioning look. It only takes 2 second of the song before she recognizes it. She gives me shoulder a playful shove.

"You actually went and listened to them?"

"Yeah of course! I like learning more about what you like. This song was my favorite of their's, by the way."

She brings her hand over her heart and wipes away an imaginary tear with the other. "I'm so proud."

I shake my head letting out a small laugh before shifting the car into drive. For a few moments I almost forget how completely tone deaf I am, singing along with the lyrics.

When you were younnnggg

I quickly remember how awful I sound when I try to sing, glancing over to Y/N to see if she happened to hear me over the music. She's staring at me, but she's not laughing. She is looking at me as though I'm her favorite person in the entire world. Filled with a confidence I have rarely ever felt, I continue singing as she joins in and we belt it at the top of our lungs.

We pull up to the thrift store make our way to the formal section to look for what we need. During our movie selections we had finally settled on which of her ideas would be best. I finally found some pinstriped suit pants and a suit jacket a bit older fashioned than anything I already owned.

I glance up to see Y/N coming out of the dressing room in a beautiful wedding gown. From her waves falling onto her bare shoulders, to the way the corset top fit her, and the lace that trailed down the dress, she was beautiful. She does a quick twirl, allowing the skirt to flow around her like waves.

"You like it?"

All I can manage was a nervous nod. Can she see the effect it has on me? How nervous she makes me? I sure hope not.

"Look at us, wedding dress shopping and you haven't even gotten down on one knee." She jabs me in the side as she laughs.

Surprisingly this makes me relax a bit, although I'm not sure if it's the joke or the musical sound of her laughter.

After we stop at a couple more stores to pick up more items for our costumes along with makeup and temporary hair color, we make our way to her apartment. She was used to doing crafty things, so she has plenty of supplies ready to go. We took out the dress and I help her to effectively ruin it in just the way we needed. I have to admit, it was a bit fun to mess something up for once. Keeping things so put together all the time can be...exhausting.

The evening couldn't last long enough as eventually we say our goodbyes and I headed home. As I lie in bed and try to fall asleep, snap shots of the day play through my mind. Every day with her feels like a fairy tale romance. I usually fall asleep after hours of insomnia just from exhaustion alone, but tonight I drift off into a deep sleep, full of happy, warm feelings.

We had agreed to spend all of Halloween together. We planned to get ready at her apartment, which has the perfect spooky atmosphere. I love that she decorates so much. It makes me feel so at home in her apartment. After lunch, we start on our costumes, hers requiring several hours to come together. I wait, reading on her couch, until she's done with her shower. Eventually she comes out and asks for help. We cover as much of her face, neck, and arms as we can in a dusty blue color. She begins spraying blue throughout her hair, requiring my assistance in reaching some parts in the back. I try to tell her I don't know what I'm doing, but she insists it doesn't matter as long as it's all blue.

I decide to sit on the side of the tub and watch her finish her makeup. It's fascinating to me. I don't know how she transforms her face so easily. She helps me with mine as well as I sit on a stool in front of the mirror, adding some makeup to make my eyes look sunken and my cheekbones even more prominent. She finishes off with some gel in my hair, using a come to slick it back in the right directions.

"You know I used to gel my hair back for work?"

She looks up to make eye contact in the mirror, still fixing my hair. "Oh really? I always wonder what you used to look like. You don't have any photos with you in them, just your friends and family."

I clear my throat before answering. I'm not quite ready to speak on this topic.

"Yeah I don't...I mean I never really...you know people just always said I look..."

Before I can bring myself to finish, she walks around to face me, lifting my face to look at her.

"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

"You are..." she bends down, kissing my right cheek,

"the most handsome..." again on my left cheek,

"man I know" and finally on my lips. The last one lingering for a moment more before she pulls back. I can see in her eyes that she means every word. I don't doubt it for a moment.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" I whisper, feeling as though all the air has left my lungs.

She returns to her spot behind me, wrapper her arms around me before placing one last kiss on my cheek. "I might ask you the same question." This time she leaves me blushing.

Once we have made our way into our costumes, we grab a skeleton costume Y/N found for her dog Juneau. It just so happens to work perfectly with out couple's costume. We make our way to her car and she drives us to JJ's house. We had made plan's to take Henry trick-or-treating so that Will and JJ could attend Will's work party.

After a few knocks, the door opens and JJ greets us in a costume I don't recognize.

"Victor and the Corpse Bride! I love it! You guys look amazing. You even have Scraps!" She leans down to pet Juneau.

Y/N does a quick twirl, showing off all of her costume. The lace has been ripped and distressed in all the right places. I have to hand it to her, it looks exactly like the one one in the movie.

"JJ, why are you holding a frying pan?" I ask.

Y/N and JJ share knowing looks before busting into a fit of giggles.

"I'm Rapunzel, and Will is going as Flynn."

"If you're referring to the fairy tale by the Grimm Brothers, I don't recall there being any mention of cookware. And who is Flynn?"

"From the Disney movie Mr. smarty pants." JJ quips.

We all take a moment to laugh before interrupted by Will chasing Henry, trying to get him in the rest of his costume. He eventually makes his way to the door with Henry donned in a orange and green dinosaur costume.

"Woooaahhh, what a scary dinosaur!"

He lets out a loud giggle, my favorite sound in the world.

"It's me Uncle Spence! It's Henry!"

"Oh my gosh! Henry, you look amazing!" I sweep him up off the ground to bring him in for a hug.

I don't keep his attention for long as he squeals "Puppy!" wriggling to get down and pet Juneau.

He pulls the two of us inside to show us each of his toys while his parents finish getting ready. After everything is set, the four of us set off to make our way around the neighborhood. After we finish, we fix his car seat in Y/N's vehicle before taking Henry to a surprise we had planned.

We pull up to Rossi's house, which he immediately recognizes. After quick greetings with Rossi, we start to make our way around the new neighborhood. Henry's eyes wide with amazement at the large candy bars given to him at every door.

It doesn't take long before Henry wears out, but he is insistent that we all continue.

"Come here little dinosaur" Y/N coos before sweeping him up in her arms. She talks to him about his school, his friends, and whatever else pops into his fast paced toddler mind.

I can't help but admire how great she is with him. I have heard her mention how much she wants to work with children before, but this was my first time witnessing it. It really does to come natural to her, and she seems so happy. She catches me staring a few times and shoots me a sweet smile before returning her attention to Henry, who has not stopped to take a breath for at least five minutes.

Once we get the message that Will and JJ have returned home, we bring Henry back and work to get him from the car seat to his parent's arms without waking him. He passed out about halfway home. We share quick hugs and goodbyes before driving back to Y/N's apartment. I walk back up with her, waiting for her to get Juneau settled.

"If it's not too late, I have a surprise planned."

She bounces on her feet, already eager with anticipation. "Oooo what is it? What is it?"

I pull out a couple tickets for a haunted house and she squeals before embracing me in a hug.

"Yes! Thank you! I love haunted houses! I can't wait!"

I can't help but smile and laugh a bit at her excitement. She has  a child-like wonder at times, in the best of ways.

She does some quick touch ups to her costume and we make our way downstairs, where I offer to drive us. We eventually find ourselves driving down a long dirt road, surrounded by woods and darkness. It certainly sets the tone.

Once we have parked and made our way through the line, I feel her wrap her arm around mine,  pulling me close.

"I thought you loved haunted houses?" I tease.

"I do! That doesn't make them any less scary!"

I chuckle before removing her arm from mine so that I can wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her as close to me as possible.

"Don't worry sweet girl, I'll protect you." I lean down to give her a reassuring squeeze and a kiss on top of her head.

This seems to calm her a bit as she smiles, snuggling in to my side as we creep down a long dark hallway.

With the things I have seen and done as an FBI agent and member of the BAU, I don't scare too easily. One thing that does scare me, however, is the dark. And right now we are completely enveloped by it, with no flashlights, no guns, and a certainty that things will be jumping out at us. I get by on reminding myself that nothing here will actually hurt us. Unlike so many of the cases I have been on, I know I will walk out of here in one piece.

I find myself less scared and more focused on making sure Y/N feels safe, rubbing her arm and talking to her after I feel her wince with each jump scare. After awhile, she surprises me by choosing to take the lead. She leaves me side but reaches back to hold my hand. Before I know it, she's making witty remarks back to the characters who try to scare her or follow us for awhile. She doesn't even jump when a girl springs out from the darkness, letting out a blood-curdling scream. Y/N decides to combat this by walking straight up to her and letting out a scream of equal proportions. She turns back to face me and we both end up in a fit of giggles at how ridiculous it was. She never ceases to amaze me.

We eventually make it out the end, and I can feel her heart racing. Now illuminated by the moonlight, I can see the huge grin on her face.

"So you're okay huh?"

Still grinning she answers, "That was perfect! I loved it! Thank you, Spencer. You're my real life knight in shining armor."

I feel silly blushing at such a cheesy comment, but I can't help myself. I know in that moment that I would slay dragons for her.

A/N: sorry this took so long to get out! I hope you still enjoyed it. Comments and questions welcome as always. Thanks for reading!

🖤💀🎃 FairyTales1896

[emiliachrstine]

Alright girly I went to a talk today from an author who came to my school and it was about getting stuck in your writing & why it happens/how you can fix it and I swear the entire time I was thinking of you because you say you've lost your muse for stories and that you have no energy to write for your babies (even if you're doing okay now, it's good advice for the future) and I hate to see you struggling like that so get ready because I am gonna learn you the things I learned today ~ 🕸 (1)

Writer’s block doesn’t exist, this author says. There are two reasons people get stuck: psychological and craft. Psychological reasons are like negative thoughts (not believing in yourself, someone saying your writing sucks), thinking you have nothing original to say, dealing with perfectionism/short attention span, that kind of stuff. Craft reasons are problems with the story itself. The most important thing to do is to figure out to what extent you’re blocked for both categories

You have to remember with short attention span (getting bored with a story) that you’re constantly changing as you’re writing the story, so sometimes your story needs to change too. She used the metaphor of soup. When you sit down to make soup, you gather all your ingredients and place them on the counter. Sometimes you gotta add some more spices into your soup to rekindle your interest in that (damn good, I might add) soup.

Almost every writer can quote word for word their worst reviews, but not their best. Why? Because bad reviews take up so much space in your brain. So just knowing that negative thoughts take up more space in your brain can be helpful because it helps you focus on the good and letting that outweigh the bad. She suggested keeping every encouragement, every positive note or comment on your writing, because if you don’t, you’ll forget them and the bad stuff will take over your brain space

Now, the bad comments. Picture whatever that faceless anonymous person said to you (or the negative things you keep telling yourself). Picture a rat saying that stuff. Then picture yourself picking up that stupid rat and dropping it in a jar. Do that with every single rat that you find. When the jar is full, lock it tight and throw it in a lake, and let it sink to the bottom with all the bad comments and negative, self-deprecating thoughts, never to be seen or heard again. 

Perfectionism. We all deal with it. Go on YouTube and look for a high-speed video of someone painting. They don’t start in a corner and paint a meticulous portion, then move to the next. They start with rough sketches, broad strokes in the middle of the canvas, then add the details. They keep going with the rough parts, they don’t stop there. You have to start bad and go over it and refine it before you can reach the “perfect” point you think you have to be at in the beginning.

Perfectionism has no seat at the table when you’re starting your story. It’s wonderful during revision and editing, but it should not be the driving force behind your writing. Also, if you worry that your ideas or words aren’t original enough, it’s okay. Originality will come through as you go, you can write your way there. It’s in the details, which you add after you lay down your foundation, your broad strokes in the middle of the canvas.

Now for the craft reasons you can get stuck in the middle of the story. It’s worth noting that you can’t solve these issues until you quiet down the negative voices of the psychological issues. Usually people get about a quarter of the way through a story before they hit a wall. From there you can either embrace the wall and take that time to think about the structure and architecture of your story, the shape of the whole thing, or you can back up and look at it.

You can only see so much of your story on your tiny computer screen. Sometimes you need to back up and look at the whole thing to see why you might be hitting that wall. You could draw out the rising action and climax and such. You could print out the whole story and look at it on your floor. Whatever it is, take a step away from the tiny section that’s been a pain in your ass and remember to look at the big picture.

Also, when you make a situation urgent enough, when you give the characters what they want just out of reach, it lends to the story momentum. Watch any movie and pause it with 20 minutes left. If the movie ended there, would you be satisfied with the ending, or would it tick you off because there’s still unresolved problems? If you’re stuck, ask if you’re bored because you haven’t given your characters high enough stakes. When they know what they want, you’ll know what happens next.

Wow that was a lot of asks. Sorry if that was too much information or if I overstepped at all. I did it out of love, I swear. It just kills me to see you and other authors struggling with something that should be fun and stress-free. I also just really appreciated the talk today and I wanted to share it because it’s really good advice that I also need to remember in the future. So those are your very long Positivity Asks™️ for tonight. Much love, sweet Emilia.

Okay I know this is quite a bit, but I feel like everyone should read this. I’ve just been reading these messages in my inbox over and over again, and honestly it really made me sit back and think. I started to think which of these could be the reason why my muse is just dying. I think trying to be a perfectionist and crafting is part of the issue, but I believe the biggest one is thinking that my writing is…well, crap. I read all of these amazing fanfics and am just floored by the talent people on here possess. And it does make me look at my own writing and I cringe. I often feel like my writing is poor, that my storylines/ocs are convoluted or just dumb. That my writing style isn’t strong enough to produce a good story. And, if I can be completely honest, that’s part of the reason why I don’t read a lot of fanfiction anymore. Because I know that I’ll eventually compare my writing to theirs and get so discouraged. It’s so stupid, trust me I know and I am trying my absolute best to grow out of that mindset. But it’s really hard. Especially when I struggle with reviews (that’s a whole other conversation I’m not in the mood to have right now). I’ve been coming up with more ideas to put into Renegades and it does get me insanely excited. But the minute I go to write more, I immediately go back into that mindset of not being good enough. That my words won’t convey what I’m trying to put out properly. It’s just a vicious cycle and I hate it.

But thank you nonnie for sending me these messages. It really has given me a lot to think about. I’ve been slowly chipping away at the next chapter for Renegades and I am hoping that this will give me some sort of boost! The fact that you even took the time to send me all of these messages really means a lot!! THANK YOU!!

[semi-sketchy]

Sassy I'm a bit curious but feel free not to answer this question if you don't want too. Why do you think the webkinz fandom is so bad lately. I've probably had my head in the ground the whole time because I haven't seen anything that bad recently. I have seen bad things before on kinztube and kinztagram but what part of it recently is so bad. I'm only asking this to get a new perspective not to tell you you're wrong. you've known this community longer than I have.

Don’t worry, I understand what you’re saying. Curiosity and wanting to learn is a great thing and I’m always happy to help, so hopefully I can explain this well.

The Webkinz fandom isn’t just bad lately; it’s been for awhile. I touched on it slightly here, but I’ll go more in depth below.

I guess the simple TL;DR is that I have never seen a community more willing to put someone under the chopping block to “spread awareness” or simply to engage in callout culture. (I’ve reblogged a few things on callout culture if you wanna read them.) Now for the actual part that’s long.

WAIT. I said I understood and I didn’t. I thought you were asking just what’s wrong with the community and not just recent drama. I’ve already spent over an hour typing all this and only caught that proofreading it. It still stands for today, but recently, since I’ve basically said “bye not dealing with you” to everyone, I haven’t really seen any drama. I don’t watch KinzTube anymore, I don’t follow members of the community, so I’m not really the best one for this. It’s really past experiences that set my opinions, although from what I’ve heard, it hasn’t gotten better. Alright, back to the post, carry on.

Being on KinzTube 8 years, I’ve seen a lot of things. Trends, secrets, scandals, but I took it as normal. I figured “every fandom is this bad. This is normal” until I saw it wasn’t.

I’ve seen people go on about Starrystar33 saying how she was a mean person and no one should have looked up to her, their main point being that she said “please don’t use my name” even though that’s just the thing nearly everyone said back in 2010. People used to get very defensive and angry back in 2007 and 2008 when someone wanted to be queen or king of a Webkinz (for real though, people stopped caring in ‘09 and this isn’t a thing anymore. Everyone making rants like it’s still a thing…no. No one has cared about it in a decade.) I used to see videos saying “block this person!!” although now it’s gotten a lot dirtier.

See, the Webkinz community has stepped aside from yelling “Billy hurt me!!” and has turned instead to “I wish I could give you my pain just for one moment. Not to hurt you, but to make you understand how much you hurt me~ ♥” And people praise them. Praise them for posting an “inspirational quote” and “keeping drama out of this” when really, the person is going to read it. Their friends will show them. It will hurt like the dickens. And because the original poster is so highly praised, they’ll keep doing it. The fallout is public and everyone knows who the post is about, but because there’s no names mentioned, it’s taken as acceptable and keeping things “drama free” when really it’s just a dirty trick to hurt people. It gets even worse when someone asks “what’s this about?” and they answer “I’ll message you” and the talking behind others backs happen. It spreads from person to person in private as it travels through friend groups. Everyone slowly gets turned against the other party because it’s a lot easier to trust gossip from a friend and have it taint your views.

To someone on the outside that’s not tuned in, it looks harmless, but pay attention to the subtle details and you’ll begin to notice a pattern. To eat my own words a bit here, there was a video made about me awhile ago. I think it’s been taken down, but the user and I had a spat. My friend sent me the video saying “look what they did.” It was a video where a Webkinz that represented them pushed through the crowds, above all the haters, but took special time aside to push down and diminish a Signature Siamese Cat; a Webkinz I use to represent me. To others, it was about standing tall, to my friends and me, it was about them going out of their way to say “fuck you.”

Through the addiction to gossip, hatred is born. Unbeknownst to a user, an entire community can be turned against them. The amount of back-handed exchanges and how people thrive off of it is sickening. And it’s happened to me.

This isn’t even the end of it. One of the reasons I had to disable comments on my channel was because of Webkinz users overall being salty. When I got my third Signature Siberian Husky, Karma, the comment section was a bloodbath. About 4 people sounded genuine saying she was cute, the rest were passive aggressive “I want one” and “oh yay good for you I don’t have one” along with flat out “you’re so spoiled lord you already have two huskies and you had to buy a third and keep someone else from buying it!” I kind of wonder if that video is what sparked the KinzTube trend of making rants on getting doubles.

I was prepared for the messages and when I got Timber, my second Signature Timber Wolf, so I went on the offense. Flat out spewing what I had learned and seen. I made a full on rant that I still stand by. Webkinz fans are salty. If they didn’t have something and they deemed someone had something they wanted, that person was a devil and needed to be put in their place. If they disagree to give/sell it to you, they’re even worse. I was surprised when rather than getting hate messages, I actually got a few people praising me for speaking up. I’m far from the only one affected by this issue.

As I said in the video, I believe this is due to the general age range for Webkinz fans being 11 - 16, a tough time in life where they’re learning social skills. Hormones are raging and I believe this is the time when people are most self-conscious. Low self esteem paired with a community that has hate and gossip knocking on every door leads to a pack mentality, or how I see it, a mob mentality. A confusing and hard time when you’re so angry, anything can set you off. That rage is often directed at whoever is the most recent target, whoever your friends have told you about, who hurt someone you follow.

Not everyone will be like this, I’m speaking mainly from my own experience and what I’ve seen, not any studies or anything. I don’t fully blame them, I was in that exact spot a few years back, but it’s toxic and shouldn’t be normalized.

The worst part of this being normalized and just “something everyone does” is that some don’t grow out of it. I hate to be this way, but you need the punch in the face to realize and learn. No one can tell you social skills and you acquire them like moves in a video game; you have to learn through life the hard way.

I understand I’m highly biased here, but this has been my experience.Has there been good in the community? Of course. There’s also the “village idiot has the loudest voice” thing, so the bad are always more vocal than the good. You just gotta pick your battles and push through, that’s the only way you’ll make it in this community.

-Sassy