#update they couldn't answer my questions BUT they referred me to someone who can. and they were sympathetic so whatever! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

peeterparkr · 3 years

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red; tom's version|one.

chapter one: sad, beautiful tragic. “Long handwritten note deep in your pocket”

pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (tom's not famous here) story summary: you’re reminiscing through your relationship months after the heartbreak and breakup. Wondering if it went wrong from the very start when Tom arrived at New York, and him being a cautionary tale or if the problems came along the way. Perhaps the key to find back your way to him is going back through the nice things before the heartbreak came. Or is it too painful to go all over again?

chapter summary: you haven't seen him since he ditched you, after months of wearing plaid you go out and realize he's back in new york warnings: angsty, I mean it's a breakup, swearing. word count: 7.3k playlist (updated after each chapter, including Red songs+ other for the chapter): Spotify | Apple Music

fic masterlist next chapter

a/n: Hi, I couldn't wait to share it so I said, screw it, I'm posting this. You don't know how excited I am to write this and share it with you. As you know, this is inspired by Red by Taylor Swift and will hurt. So I expect us all to be crumpled up pieces of paper wearing scarves by the end of this. (perennial is still coming, I'm just waiting on a few people who're reading it). SPECIAL THANKS TO @erodasghosts for reading it and hyping me up and helping me figure this all out. I hope you guys all like it as much as I did. The story is set in New York. Please give feedback!

One month after the breakup.

Strong whiskey, on the rocks. That was his drink of choice that night. The night before had been a beer. You knew you could imagine the taste of his lips by only looking at him. You wondered if he’d gone there for a second night for the same reason you had.

When you had seen him across the place the night before, you had tried to decide how to feel. We always think we will react one way or another when we see our official heartbreak walking through. Victorious as he is perfectly dressed, with his hair flowing.

He hadn’t brought her. Which you didn’t know how to feel about.

The day before you had not been alone, Jules, Matty, and Lula were there.

“Shit, the axolotl at 10 o'clock, you’ve got to be shitting me,” Lourdes, Lula, had whispered before sipping her drink, a Long Island Tea. “We are celebrating she’s doing better, can’t fucking believe this,” she hissed at Jules who only lifted her chin slightly to see who she was referring to. “What the fuck is he doing here? Ay, es que, con qué huevos se atreve a venir aquí? Que no mame.” [with what balls did he dare to come here? He shouldn’t fuck with us. ]

You loved hanging out with Lula and listening to her very refined Spanish cursing.

“It’s not him,” Julia said.

You tried looking back to see who they were referring to. “Who is—?”

“Y/N, wait I just noticed the haircut!” Matt pointed out, reaching over, getting your attention back to them and not at whatever they were referring to. “It looks great. It’s like a new you!”

This new you. The one that had been screwed over twice. Men really have the nerve when it comes to breaking hearts. They recklessly go in and let you believe love comes in all shades of colors, passionate red like the roses they send, and tender pinks like your sweet innocence that they end up stealing. But they never tell you it’ll be you all alone in a dark room with shades of grey under a flickering light that barely warms you.

The new you, which was still a bit lost. Your old self was a stranger to you now. You had no idea who this new you was, she was quiet now. Didn’t have a heart because someone had stolen it and broken it and left it behind a dumpster. Still trying to find it. The new you wasn't.. you.

Your friends were glad, however, they finally got you to go out again. After weeks of wearing plaid and watching Fleabag, and even considering watching Greys Anatomy, a low point, you had finally decided to come back to see if there was any sunshine left for you.

It’s important to point out that you had been broken-hearted and almost crazy when the breakup had happened. Very… delusional. You were not proud of the way you’d reacted. Although you wouldn’t have reacted any other way.

The city had been quiet, the red lights seemed to last longer, and the crowds would often swallow you. The city you once loved was now an open book of a relationship that seemed real, should’ve known it was all fiction.

In your dreams they’d be bright, colorful. The village is aglow. Cold days with warm hearts. Like his.

You’d been cold ever since.

“Ah, yeah, the haircut. Got it today. Lula’s idea” The haircut had come as the solution to a problem that would never be solved. As if cutting your hair meant there was something you had the power on. You didn’t.

How stupid was it? You couldn’t control your life.

“It suits her well, doesn’t it?” Lula admitted proudly.

You still had his picture engraved in your heart. You still dreamed he would come back and say it was all a nightmare.

“It’s nice, I’m glad to have you back,” Jules commented. Julia had probably been the most surprised with the news of the breakup, she had almost gone and killed Tom when he had….unimportant. She hadn’t, though, and she had yet to tell you the reason why. Julia had been mysterious since.

“I’m glad to be back,” you confirmed. You’d ordered a beer, and maybe you shouldn’t have. Stella Artois, his one favorite. You pocketed the beer cap. “Though I was not gone.”

Matt watched you, him and Julia had recently started dating. Best friends since kids who just recently confessed their feelings for each other, took them long enough. “How back are you, though?”

“Meaning?” You asked, taking a sip.

Matt shrugged, “I could introduce you to some friends from work, there’s this hot guy—“

“No,” you interrupted him, leaving the bottle down as you had almost choked. “No, no. Not in the dating area yet. Won’t be in a long time. Still healing.”

Lula still had her eyes glued elsewhere. “Healing from a bullet hole, y/n, whatever you’re doing isn’t working, and band aids won’t fix it—Jules it is, I swear to god it’s him.”

“It’s not him,” Julia rolled her eyes.

“Ay, que sí!” [he is]

“Who?” You asked.

Julia took your hands, “you know Lula,” she rolled her eyes. “I love that you ordered a beer.”

“Yeah,” you gulped. “Beer is universal language for men as in: ‘don’t get close to me.’” A lesson someone dear had taught you once.

Matt tilted his head in agreement, “Yeah.”

“Really?” Lula frowned, “should’ve ordered one. Next time I’ll ask for my drink but instead of a glass I’ll ask them to put it in a beer bottle.”

“Wouldn't it be easier to order a beer?” Matt suggested.

“But then I’d break our tradition.”

Matt watched her, “you really are something.”

You chuckled.

“Why is beer seen as not—feminine?” Matt questioned.

Julia shrugged. “It’s beyond me, really. It’s a drink.”

“Like does my drink make me less of a man?” Matt watched his glass, another Long Island Tea. A stupid inside joke you all had.

“No,” you admitted. “But you know how society is. Since it’s sweet, it’s got to be—“

“Oh, no, no, I love you, y/n, but tonight I don’t want you lecturing us on it, no, tonight we are having fun, ok?” Lula reminded you. “We will not talk about femininity or lack of a beer—or whatever your agenda is up to these days, which, hey! Why does y/n get to break the rule?” Lula questioned. “No Long Island Tea?

Julia glared at her, “Because she can do whatever she wants tonight,” she hissed and then turned to you. “But how are you feeling? It’s your first time going out in months, is it as fun?” Julia was the one to try to cheer you up the most.

No, it wasn’t fun.

“I—feel good!” You lied. Although you were not. But you guessed that’s the response they wanted after seeing you laying down on the ground and crying yourself to sleep. Staring at windows and walking down in the rain. They wanted you to feel better.

Your body was covered in scars.Though, they were from adventures.

“Bullshit,” Lula intruded. “You seem sad. Maybe I’ll get some shots,” she announced before going to get some.

“Well,” you chuckled. “My first time going out and you bring me back to the place where it all started?” You answered cynically but then shrugged. “I’m—I…no. I just—It’s weird. I still see him everywhere, and as I’m here it’s like watching a movie of our greatest moments,” you admitted. “Like hey, look over there, it’s Tom and Y/N’s greatest moments,” you stated, Lula got back. “Let’s start memory lane…”and you sighed and continued with the best presenter voice you had. “Here you’ll wonder how the hell did it go so wrong since they were so perfect, what the hell went wrong, when did it turn into some sad stupid love affair. You’ll be asking yourself hey, they seemed in love, over there, they danced! Over there… they sang a song together! See over there? There was a fucking jukebox in which they have memories! Oh they have memories there too! And you’ll ask yourself, he made it seem real, what the hell happened?” You sighed exhaustedly. “What happened? What the fuck happened? How was I so stupid?” You ran your hands through your face.

Your friends only watched you, with pity, sadness. Even Lula had turned her gaze guilty.

You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“No,” Lula sighed, “it’s our fault for bringing you here. We’re fucking idiots. Besides he is—Julia I swear to god, he is there.” Lula raised her hand and Julia quickly pulled it down.

Julia bit her lip, “I—hadn’t realized how much Tom there is here.”

“Yeah.”

“He called me—“Matt had started.

“No, no, we can’t talk about him, baby,” Julia reminded him. Matt widened his eyes and nodded.

You blinked, “no, it’s—He called you? Tom?” Why had Tom called Matty? What for?

“Yeah, had a missed call,” Matt explained, ignoring his girlfriend. “I—it was this morning.”

You felt your chest twist. “Yeah, I get a lot of those too.”

Perhaps he wanted to talk to you and thought Matty was dumb enough to give you the phone.

Julia glared at Matt. “We promised not to—“

“No, hey,” you stopped her. “I—sorry, I brought him up.”

“But we shouldn’t talk about him,” Julia insisted. “Tonight is all about having fun,” she stated as she handed everyone their shots.

“No, it’s alright,” you said. “I’m fine talking about it.”

Lula turned her gaze to you. “Shouldn’t you hate him?”

Were you supposed to hate someone who gave you something so beautiful? Just because it’s over doesn’t mean you have to look back and hate it.

“No,” you answered simply.

Matt watched you. “Wait, really?”

You took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m—I decided I’m thankful for everything. He really… I… I mean I knew from the start he was trouble. But he got me to get rid of Will. So I’m thankful for Tom. He showed me some beautiful things about him, about myself and… I’m thankful. Even the part when he broke my heart.”

It was a lie. Partly. You had been so full of doubts that you only tried wondering why it had gone so wrong. Or course, the lie was there. His lies. But how could any of it be a lie?

Julia smiled gently, “You’re really a grown up.”

“Or very stupid.” Lula commented.

“Thanks, Lula, I appreciate it,” you rolled your eyes. “I… well, I’ve gotta admit I was pretty stupid.”

Lula shrugged, “Hey, I don’t blame you, boy came in with an accent, he had a cute smile, he was hot, I must admit, and he wasn’t one of those Brooklyn fuckboys that take you to the rooftop and offer you a whiteclaw to watch the sunrise together,” Lula gave in.

“Oh, and they take candid pictures, and they say that their phone camera isn’t as good as their polaroid,” Julia laughed, “But hey, you’re lucky they took you to the rooftop, they never take anyone there, they took you there just because you’re…”

“Different,” Julia, Lula and you chanted.

Matt laughed, “You guys are the worst.”

“Anyway,” Lula said. “We should drink these,” she pointed at the shot glasses as she raised her own. “I came here to get drunk. So, to Y/N being thankful Tom was a piece of shit even when the boy had a dreamy accent?”

You closed your eyes, and let out a defeated dry chuckle. “Yes, to that.”

“To the piece of shit, then!” Lula grinned as the shots clinked and were downed. You instantly regretted drinking it.

Lula scowled as she had her eyes glued back at the bar, “It’s him, Julia, it’s him! What is he doing here? Pendejo, I swear to god I’ll go kill him.” She was furious, and you tried once again following her gaze.

The bar was crowded, red lights crossed around the place, with girls walking with tall heels, trying to smile and nod at guys who were talking to them but clearly were not of interest to them. Friends laughing, people flirting. You didn’t know who your friends were watching.

But the bar seemed to be enough of a reminder of him. How he had made you feel like crowds were never there, and how whenever you had been with him everything disappeared just to be with him.

“Who are we killing?” You questioned.

“Is new y/n a murderer?” Asked Matt. Matt and Julia were your oldest friends. The three of you grew up in Staten Island, and now moved to the crowded places.

Lula coughed. “Hope she is.” Lula, on the other hand, you’ve met in college, she was a very defined addition to the friend group. With more personality. A strong one. Lula, Julia and you shared a small apartment.

Julia cleared her throat.

“The fucking scarf,” Lula scowled.

“What scarf?” Matt asked. And you had the same question.

Julia whispered to her boyfriend’s ear who had turned cold. He lifted his head.

“But it’s not.”

“It is him,” Matt confirmed to Lula. “Jules, it is.”

And now your three friends were acting strange. Usually they did but this was strang-er. They all shared looks, Julia struggled with her hands.

They were watching you with pity but you’d gotten used to that. After the breakup they had been extra careful around you, kinder, you guessed.

Fools they were to believe that by not mentioning him you wouldn’t think of him. He was a memory that would haunt you for the rest of the days.

“So, y/n,” Julia was clearly hiding whatever Lula was seeing.

“Wasn’t he in London? What in this fucking world is he doing here?” Lula continued.

“Shut up!” Julia ordered.

“London?” You asked and you lifted your head, and any noise that was bustling before had stopped.

Tom.

Tom was there.

Thomas.

Tom who had broken your heart. In every possible way that he could’ve. Like he had planned it. Like he was aware.

He was there, on a stool with a beer in his hand and wearing a red scarf. The red scarf. As if he was mocking you.

Tom.

Did he pride on hurting you?

He had always said you were invincible. That you were unrivaled in matters of the heart. Was he proud he had beaten the unbeaten?

You’d always thought he would.

When we love deeply, getting hurt comes as a given. But when we love deeply, we are never expecting it to come. And when it does come the skies cannot turn grayer. Funny thing, you were a fan of the rain but when the rain doesn’t cease, the hope doesn’t perdure.

But he was back in your life. Or at least he had been in the same room as you after months.

What was he doing back in New York with your scarf?

You turned back to your own table, breathing in quickly, bringing your hand to your chest in an attempt to calm yourself down.

You saw your friends speaking but you couldn’t make a word of what they’re saying. Your heart was rushing. Thomas was there. Tom. Your Tom. And there was a part of you that had completely forgotten over the heartbreak and wanted to run to him.

Kiss him, try to fix it. Try to bring back the beautiful thing you both had. Because it was. And it hurt looking back.

You were having trouble breathing now, the heartbreak had come.

That’s the worst thing about heartbreak. You never saw it coming, though you should’ve. Though it was beautiful you’d known from the start you’d end up hurt. But when a lie is crafted so beautifully, how could you?

“It’s him.” The words had come in whispers.

You barely remembered what had happened next. You had only stood up, decisive to leave, you’d seen him try to walk his way to you. You’d heard him call your name, but you hadn’t turned back, you had seen Matty stop him from running to you.

It was blurry. You didn’t know how you got home. Desperately trying to understand why he was there and how the night had turned too badly.

Lula and Matt had come back later to find Julia trying to comfort you, hugging a pillow that you were sure he had slept on. Breathless.

But it was in the past now, you were there again. Same bar, both in stools far away.

You were almost sure he’d gone to that bar in hopes of finding you again.

Just like you’d gone again.

His eyes the night before were guilty. You only took a deep breath, you remembered trying to avoid his glance at any chance as you had walked out.

Why were you there again?

That feeling in your chest growing, like there was something heavy expanding. Yet your stomach falling smaller. The pain was but a shield, as if it was creating a special protection around your heart, and though it hurt it was enough for it to make your heart strong to leave the place.

You didn’t want to see Tom. You hadn’t talked to him since. Even when he’d tried to call. Even when you’d tried calling.

Not when you had replayed the breakup over and over and over again since he was gone.

Everyone deals with breakups in different ways. Yours, specifically, was avoiding it. Everything and everyone. Especially Tom.

It was hard when he was everywhere. In that tattoo he’d convinced you to get, in that ring he’d left, in that cereal box that you still hadn’t finished. Whenever you listened to a song he’d recommended. Whenever you’d open Netflix and that series you had started watching together was still recommended to you even when you’d deleted it.

Everywhere.

You couldn’t use your favorite colors because you could hear it, in the back of your head “I love how it looks on you.” “You should wear more blue, it suits you.”

Even your stupid laugh remind you of him. “Your laugh is the most wonderful thing I’ve heard, even if it’s so ugly.”

You missed the person you were when he was with you. How everything was happy. Who was that y/n? Who didn’t mind if she was slightly late to a place because he’d come with you? Who didn’t feel alone at parties when she knew nobody because you knew him?

A y/n that existed only for a short period of time when he’d been around and that he’d shattered like glass when he had the chance.

You missed that y/n.

The y/n that would sometimes lose her breath and catch it back when he walked into the room. A y/n that sang along to her favorite songs all day. The one that would give her heart in a rush to him. The one that watched movies no matter if they were good or not.

Life had colors back then.

Now you were full of regrets and of doubts. Wondering what you had done wrong? Where did it lead you?

You looked up at him then. He was staring down at his glass.

There was a slight trace of him still there, the Tom you once loved. The one with the silly smile and the gentle chuckle, the one with the jokes about everything.

You wondered how much of that y/n he saw too.

You were the same two people, in essence. But how different you were now.

The Tom you knew before finding out it was a lie.

There was still a hint. You knew. But there was so much of him in you that it was hard to see if you still were there. Or the Tom you thought you knew. Not the one with the lie. Or maybe this was the truest Tom he could ever be.

He had to move on, rather quickly, you recalled. If he ever did.

There was a stupid reminder of you in his hand, that red scarf from the very first day.

You still remembered how it all started, a stupid red scarf. He kept it, then, and he wore it.

You had ordered a beer, too. You pocketed the cap again.

But there was an image in your mind, maybe he had gone back and probably had his arm around her and he laughed at a joke she made. Maybe she was funnier than you. Definitely prettier, with her hair falling down all the way to her waist, her clothing accentuating everything you didn’t have.

You recalled having to leave the room when you found out. You had been a mess.

Leaning against a wall as you caught your breath before the tears came down, as if he had pierced right through it. A pain chest that had expanded all the way on your body, not sure how you were able to keep walking back to your place. Falling down to your knees when you did.

Pain. Words failed to describe such a deep sentiment.

But it was gone now. Not entirely but at least you could hold your breath fine when he was just across the room.

What went wrong?

You could ask him. He was right there.

Maybe even tell him how you had lost sight. He hadn’t walked up to you. He was nervous, but he seemed calm enough to see you were there. You were still unsure why you had gone there.

Maybe all the good things were enough to bring you there, maybe the fact that you still didn’t believe it was a lie brought you there. Maybe the fact that one of those pictures from that photobooth was still in a locket. So stupid.

He fiddled with the glass.

You waited and waited but he didn’t approach you. He took out a paper out of his pocket as he stared at it.

You wouldn’t approach him. No matter how happy he had made you once, you wouldn’t walk to him. No matter how beautiful it was. No matter if you were lonely and that when you dared to sleep he’d be haunting your dreams.

It was a tragedy now. What you both were, and not even worth enough to try and save it. You knew you were haunting him too. Otherwise he wouldn’t be here.

He was shakin, as he stared at you, nervous. He downed his drink, you guessed it was for some liquid courage and stood up, with the note in one hand and your red scarf in the other.

Your own courage for coming here was gone, as you saw his intentions, the urge to run you had the night before was becoming you. But he couldn’t walk. He had to sit down again, rubbing his face.

The courage that had come when choosing what Lula called the ‘revenge black dress’ was nowhere in sight. You were cold and regretting putting it on.

“I can’t do this,” you said to yourself and quickly let out some dollars to pay for your drink before picking up your stuff to leave.

You saw he panicked when he saw you leaving, he quickly called the bartender to pay for his drink.

You closed your coat as you were shaking yourself, punishing yourself for going there. Why had you gone there? The man had broken your heart? Were you really there to see him?

Was your heart foolish enough to ignore the warnings in your mind once again?

You walked your way to get to the subway station, how irrelevant you were through the crowds. You hadn’t felt this way for a while, caring for the crowds. But you had to get through them. There was a part of you that wished Tom was following you after. But the crowds didn’t let you see if he was.

Besides, you shouldn’t want that.

You finally managed to get to the station, you clung to your purse as you stared at the tracks, waiting for the next train to come. Peaceful it seemed, the station. As peaceful as New York could be. You guessed if you cried nobody would care.

“y/n!” You heard your name in the distance and you couldn’t handle it.

You took a deep breath and shook your head, angrily. Why had you gone? You could’ve easily kept ignoring his calls. You could’ve stayed in your apartment, crying as you watched SNL videos on youtube, or rewatching a cartoon for the hundredth time, letting your own sadness and self pity swallow you.

But you had gone to him. This was your fault. You should’ve taken a cab, instead, he would know you’d get at this station and he for sure would know what train you’d take.

“y/n, y/n!” He kept calling as he finally arrived next to you. “Sorry I would’ve gotten here faster but the damn MetroCard-”

“I’m not doing this, Tom,” you stated before he could go on rambling like the idiot he was. You couldn’t do it. “Not here, not anywhere. I don’t know what you’re doing here.”

“I…” His face was kind, and he seemed to be nervous. You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping, probably the jet lag.

You took a moment to look at him, he didn’t look as victorious as you had thought he was. His hair was messy, and his cheeks flushed, the buttons on his shirt were not buttoned right.

Seeing him again, with that signature look he had made you want to go down to your knees.

“Aren’t you supposed to be back in London?” You snapped. “With that pretty girl-”

“No, no, I’m-I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” Tom stuttered. “I was an idiot.”

You stared into his eyes, you were not ready for this. You were not ready to look into his stupid eyes. You looked away. “That’s all you have to say?” You tried walking away from him..

He shook his head. “No, no, no, no, I… No, I actually… I had this… I wrote down my apology,” Tom confessed. He showed you a sad, handwritten paper, now slightly teared up with the ink running. “I… I had….”

You looked down at it, his messy handwriting, crinkled with words scratched down. “You wrote it down?”

You didn’t know why you felt your heart warm. This kind of stuff was why you couldn’t understand what had happened. Someone like him, who writes his apologies down. Someone who stutters when he’s speaking.

“Yeah, I… but I spilled my drink on it after seeing you fled,” He explained, swallowing hard. “I… I… I had written it down so I wouldn’t forget it but now I realize how stupid that is… I’m… I’m really sorry, y/n.” .

You could hear the train coming. You were seeing him again. It hit you right there. And this was not the reaction you thought. You had said you would be delusional, crying and fighting and questioning him why the fuck he had done that.

Yet you weren’t. You were only watching him, eyes full of tears wanting to slide down but unable to. But there was that pain still in your chest.

How could he ever dare to hurt you that way? “I don’t want to talk to you,” you said. And meant it. “Please leave me alone.” You said before walking into the train.

“Y/N, please, no, please, please, listen to me,” He followed you in, the scarf still in his hand.

You tried sitting as far away as you could. Arms and legs crossed as you tried breathing in.

He sat beside you and you changed seats. He sighed but followed you again. “Please, I need to talk to you. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Well you did,” you snapped. “You did, and now you come here a month later with a handwritten note apology thinking I will be fine with it?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I had to solve-Please, would you listen?” Tom asked, knowing damn well he had to ask, and not just straight up blurt it out.

“Why would I, Tom?” You turned to him, with a tear traveling down your cheek. You were incredulous. “You’re kidding me, right? I… You… You think that just because you show up with that stupid face of yours and my scarf I’ll want to listen to you? You’re an idiot.”

He sighed and reached to give you the scarf. You ignored it.You were furious now.

The other people on the train were certainly getting a show. A guy with a backpack was trying to pretend he wasn’t listening but his reactions were giving it away. Another woman pretended to keep reading her book but she hadn’t turned any pages.

Tom took the scarf back staring at it. “I need to explain everything to you.”

“What if I don’t want an explanation?” You snapped. Though you did. You had been waiting for one, you wanted one. You would beg for it. But your pride was taking the wheel of the conversation. “Don’t you think it’s fucking late for it?”

“Is it?” Tom turned back to you.

“Yes!” You couldn’t believe him. But this seemed a bit too familiar of a conversation. “And beside no explanation would make me forgive you!” You stated, whispering, not wanting any of the attention you were receiving.

“I’m not… I… If you just listen to me,” Tom said.

You glared, “I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Then why did you come to the bar?” He asked.

He fucking asked.

Your eyes widened. He had gone there. He knew. He fucking knew you’d gone back because you wanted an explanation. Or so he thought. No, you’d gone back because… Yes, because you wanted an explanation. Because everything he’d done had been beautiful. Until the heartbreak. He had crafted and vexed his way into your cold stupid heart and then he had gone and pierced right through it, crushed it.

You wanted to ask why. Why did he do it so vehemently?

You didn’t answer, instead you moved one seat away. He kept his eyes on you.

“You wouldn’t have gone if you didn’t want an explanation,” he said. “Or to see me, at least. I know I did, I needed to see you.”

You saw the guy with the backpack purse his lips, knowing that Tom had got you. There was little context for them. The girl with the book directed a glance to you, trying to read your emotions.

If they knew, they’d be on your side and yelling at him as well.

He rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his face.

“I didn’t, it was a coincidence,” you answered coldly.

“No, it bloody wasn’t,” Tom scoffed and then sat up. “No, I’m… No, but you know, you went to the bar for a reason.”

“And I left for a million more,” you frowned.

Tom pursed his lips and took out the paper again, trying to make out whatever he’d written before. “I’m really sorry.” His eyes traced through the note.

“Are you genuinely trying to read it? Don’t you know what you’re supposed to apologize for?”

Tom looked up, “So you do want me to apologize?”

The guy with the backpack squeezed his eyes shut, knowing Tom had fucked up.

“You’re kidding, right? Yes, you have to apologize, what you did is really, really shitty!” You pointed out.

“But you won’t forgive me, then?” Tom watched you.

“I don’t know,” you said and he looked up, a beaming gaze. “No, I won’t.”

He wrinkled his eyes, “I… I know I’m supposed to apologize, not to expect you to forgive. I'm just…”

He gulped, and then sat back, staring at the dirty walls and lights. He had dressed up. Badly, but he had tried looking good, you could tell. You could smell his lotion, too.

He was fiddling with the paper, crumpling up and then it fell to the floor. You looked at it and somehow related to it, not sure how.

You took a deep breath so you wouldn’t kill him and turned to him. “I have questions for you, if you answer them I might consider listening to you.”

Tom’s eyes brightened up. “Yes, yes, anything.”

You eyed him up and down as he watched you with begging eyes. You avoided his gaze. Tom followed your gaze as you tried to figure out what was the first thing you could ask him. Why had he hurt you?

Why did he not stop and think before making you fall in love with him?

Why did he not stop and tell you the truth?

“Where are you staying?” You asked,

Tom blinked. “Is that… is that the question?”

“No, but I know you don’t know how to fucking get anywhere,” you said.

Tom gulped, “I… uh, again with Harrison,” he explained.

You sighed. You remembered Harrison alright. And though there was a petty part inside you, you would help him out. Knowing he’d always get lost in the city. Though you could let him get lost, so you’d have to go after him and spend a bit more time. With an excuse, because you didn’t seem to have any excuse to be with him.

It hurt. What hurt the most was trying not to look back at the incredible moments you had because none of them were true.

You sighed. “Okay, when we get down you’ll take the F train—“

Tom stopped you, taking your hand. “No, wait, I don’t care if I get lost, okay, I… I just.”

You snatched your hand away from his cold hands he had. You darkened your gaze at him.

“Please, Y/n, I just need a chance. If you don’t want to listen… maybe I’ll just…” He handed you the note.

You crossed your arms, and tapped your foot, trying to decide whether or not to give it to him. “Fine,” you took the note.

You've gotten to your stop. So you stood up.

The girl with the book and the guy with the backpack watched you both as you walked out, pitying they couldn’t follow the drama.

Tom followed after you, he licked his lips. “You… you had questions, right?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, taking yet another heavy breath. You turned on your feet to look at him “One, did you lie to me?”

Tom was taken back by this, his eyes, consternated, only watched you. He gulped. “What?”

“Did you lie to me?

“I… well.”

You were getting desperate. “Did you ?”

“I didn’t lie about how I felt,” he said. You knew he wasn’t lying about it. He couldn’t. He couldn’t have ever lied about how he felt because you knew he had felt it too, a bit, at least,

You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“I mean it, I…” Tom gulped. “I really liked you.”

“Yeah, I know, you liked me yadda, yadda,” you started. Liked not loved. “Cut the bullshit for once, did you or did you not lie to me?”

Tom took a deep breath. “Yes. But I had feelings for you.”

You bit your inner cheeks. “Uh-huh, yes, okay, good, yes, you acknowledge it. So, we have two statements here, Tom. You say you had feelings yet you lied to me,” you squinted. “Sounds-”

Tom gulped and avoided your gaze. “I know yes,” he looked down. “But, if you give me-”

“Ah, buh-buh, nope, I’m just gathering my thoughts here,” you coughed. “I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me what you felt.”

Tom shook his head in confusion. “I—I’m”

“Go on,” you motioned your hand.

“Y/N,” he said. And the way he dared to say your name was like having a knife right through you. “I had—I have feelings for you,” he said looking right into your eyes.

He didn’t say what feelings.

You were not sure where you wanted to go with this. “Fine, my next question…” you really didn’t know where this was going. “So, alright, you…” You couldn’t even phrase it. “You… made me fall in love with you knowing….Well, we both know what you did. What you hid from me. You’re a liar who made me—“

Tom took a deep breath. “Yes, but I didn’t… plan that.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh, so it’s my fault?” You stepped back. “Sorry for developing feelings for you. Sorry for ruining your life—“

Tom closed his eyes, “No, no, look, I… wasn’t. I didn’t come here expecting to meet you, I didn’t want… It just happened, okay, I never thought—You're making it sound like it’s some big master plan. I—I never planned—I never would’ve ever planned on hurting you.”

You watched him, incredulous. “Thomas you do realize what you did to me?”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t! You’re trying to make me seem like I’m crazy for not even wanting to talk to you!” You called him out.

“I’m not, I’m just saying that if you’re here—you must miss it too, you know it was too real, and you want it back, possibly—M-maybe not, but if you came to the bar tonight it was in hopes of finding me again because you knew I’d be there, and you want to feel how you felt before, and i just… you know I miss it and that you knew I didn’t lie—“

You glared at him. “You did lie!”

“Okay—yes, yes I did—But not entirely, I just happened to omit one truth—“

“One very important truth,” you snarked.

“Fine but—please listen,” he tried to convince you. “and I’m sorry, okay? I—I didn’t want to hurt you. But I never planned this. It just happened. I didn’t come here expecting to fall in love with anyone, I didn’t come here trying to date, and I never expected it to be someone as complex—“

“Complex?”

“Yes, I never came to New York trying to find the most mental relationship I’ve ever had—“

“Mental?” You snapped.

“Yes! I love you but you’re fucking crazy! And I am too! I’m fucking crazy and mental but I—I—I loved being crazy and mental with you! We are fucking mental! Driving to nowhere? Breaking into places? Getting a jukebox on the subway? That’s mental! But—but I love that about you, alright? Don’t you get it? I could’ve stayed in London, I could've been the asshole who just ditched you and lied to you—“

You scoffed. “Well that’s comforting!”

“But I’m—I’m here, ain’t I? And I know I fucked up, I know, I accept that, I’m the asshole here, and I know you’ll never—I hid it from you because I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t even get it myself. I’m here to give you my version of it. I didn’t realize I was falling in love with you…I am…,I am in love with you, and I never planned that, I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with someone else, it just happened. I may have thought it was just—Some fling, initially.”

You laughed cynically. “A fling.”

He gulped. “And the moment I realized what was really going on—”

“You left, that’s what you fucking did, when you realized it was way too real for you, you destroyed the one real thing you’ve ever known,” you barked, he stepped back. “I fell in love with you, I—I—and then you ditched me, and I thought that was the worst thing you could ever do to me but then I realized that it wasn’t real! I—you were never mine, Tom! I simply was—a break you needed or—a fling.”

“It wasn’t that—“

You watched him. Looking so innocent, kind eyes and tender lips. You would’ve believed him had he come before.

“You used me!” You snapped, the words that had wanted to come for a while just blurted out. “I just can’t believe you,” you said. “You don’t feel sorry.” You shook your head, your voice was cracking. “You're not sorry because you don’t understand. You don’t know what I went through, and if you had come earlier, if you hadn’t left me, I probably would have believed you. But—No! No!” You stepped back. “No!”

“I did call! You never picked up the phone! I tried—“Tom started.

“Was I really expected to pick it up? Let’s get back to it. Shall we? The facts. Did you or did you not date me? And made me fall in love with you?”

Tom sighed. “I—yes.”

“Did you lie?”

“…yes.”

You nodded. “Was I the other one?”

Tom squinted his eyes. “No… yes, no.”

You took a deep breath. “Did you leave me without an explanation?”

Tom looked down. “I did.”

“Did you ditch me?”

Tom looked everywhere and nowhere. “Yes,” he answered, defeated.

“Now, do you think I can ever forgive you?”

Tom didn’t answer.

You reached for your purse, for the locket that dug deep inside. “I don’t know you,” you stated giving him the locket, the stupid locket you’d bought as a joke when making fun of other couples and now laughed in your face. “Whatever happened means nothing. Because that’s the thing Tom. Everything we lived was a lie, those two people in the locket are not us, because you weren’t who you said you were, no matter how much I loved it, it’s not true and though it was too many emotions all at once I’m—It’s not real, not for you. I spent this whole time thinking I wanted you to apologize but I don’t want it. That charming guy wasn’t truly you because you omitted one very important thing. You—What were you thinking? Were you planning to never say it? Or did you plan it like that? Just ditching me, hoping I wouldn’t find out—“

Tom took a deep breath. “No—No, I didn’t. I just—-I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you and I should’ve fixed it before—-“

“No, no you didn’t because it wasn’t enough for you.”

Tom gulped, “It was, it was—-the best thing I’ve ever had.”

“And you ruined it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“How little words mean when you’re a little too late, huh?” And that was the cue you needed to walk away. He silently watched you as you tried not to cry.

“I’m really sorry.” He said.

Was he?

“What if I try to prove it to you?” He asked as you were steps away from him.

You didn’t stop.

“If we go over this, you’ll see I never lied about it.” He continued.

“I already went over it, I remember everything, Tom, and maybe that’s why I don't want to talk to you.”

Tom walked behind, slowly. “I just happened to be very unlucky when it came to my own circumstances,” he reached over. “And I wish the timing had been better. But you’re right, it’s the one real thing I’ve ever had and I lost it because I hid something in fear of losing you. I lied because it was too good to be true. And I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me but I think you deserve to know why. But you went to the bar for a reason, and you had the locket for another.”

You stopped this time. Looking down at the floor and then at his hand, holding your stupid scarf. You shook your head, you really didn’t want to go through it all over again.

“I know you won’t forgive me,” he stated. “But I can’t let you go. You’re everywhere. And I miss the person I was when you were around, and I won’t stop fighting because you’re everywhere. Dreams, nightmares.”

Funny. You were his demons too.

“Am I haunting your nightmares?” You asked. Tom only watched you.

He took a deep breath. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just need—I really need you to listen to my version.”

“Fine then, let’s go down this sad, beautiful tragic love affair.”

next chapter

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#tom holland #red fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagines #tom holland angst #tom holland series #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fanfic #tom holland writing #tom holland reader #peter parker

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majesticarlette · 3 years

Text

Gang of Secrets

Miraculous Ladybug + Reader | ONE SHOT

"Marinette, are you okay?" You touched Marinette's shoulder and looked at her. She turned to you and gave you a forced smile. "Yeah! I am! Just currently so busy with what I'm working on. Yeah! I'm alright!" She rambles as she finds a way to say her excuses. "Are you sure--" "Yes! I am!" She yelled interrupting you, you were surprised at the sudden outburst which Marinette noticed and drop her apologies.

As you were going to say your response, screams and loud disturbance were heard. "It's an akuma attack! We have to hide!" You yelled taking her hand but she quickly retracts it. "(Y/n), wait, I-I think we should split up, so that the villain won't catch us both." Marinette voiced and sprints her way out of the school building.

'Oh right, superhero duties, how could I forget.'

You hid inside the bathroom and waited for Ladybug and Cat Noir to defeat the villain on your phone screen. You sighed in relief when they finally defeated the villain, you got out of your hiding spot and started looking for Marinette before she gets away.

As Chat Noir's about to trick Ladybug to go with him to watch a movie, your voiced were heard searching for Marinette. The troubled and distracted Ladybug came to her senses, she told Chat Noir her excuses and flee the scene. She transforms back and looked for you as well, pretending she has been looking for you everywhere. Little did she know about your awareness of her secret identity.

"Marinette! There you are I've been looking for you. Are you alright?" You asked concerned about her, your question seemed like you're referring to the akuma attack earlier but the truth is that you're worried about her the entire time. Ever since Queen Wasp was defeated, you witnessed the scene where Ladybug became the new Guardian of the Miraculous. You knew how stressful it was to Marinette to have a double life being Ladybug, despite knowing all of this: you never confessed being aware of who she is. "Yes, I am fine! I'm glad Ladybug and Chat Noir defeated the villain." She puts on a smile and was quickly replaced with a frown as she remembered something. "I have to go! I forgot I have something to do--" As she was going to chant her excuses, you interrupted her. "Marinette, calm down." "I'm sorry! I really need to do something!" She's really stressed and troubled from what was all happening. Being a hero is never easy, now that she's looking after the Miraculouses; many danger lurks from Shadow Moth that made her so paranoid. This made you leave no choice, you have to tell her what you know to let her know that someone understands her.

"Look, I'm going to confess something and it's very important." You looked at her seriously as she was stunned by your statement, she was hesitant at first but she gave in. "Can we go to your house, it's really confidential." You added and she agreed.

You're both at her patio leaning on the railings. "Look, I know why you broke up with Luka." You spoke, Marinette was surprised with what you said as she was about to speak, you interrupted her. "I am serious Marinette, I know who you are." You added, and before you let her freak-out you continued what you were saying. "Don't freak out, it's not your fault. No, I didn't see you detransform nor transform into your other business. If you noticed, I'm always wearing this charm." You held your charm attached to a necklace. "May it be as a necklace, earring or anything. This charm somewhat nullifies miraculous magic." Marinette was speechless with what you said. "H-how? That's impossible." "It isn't, this charm was made centuries ago and was passed down to my family to protect us from dangers when a miraculous is in the wrong hands. It's the only charm, I think." You answered.

"If that charm may nullify miraculous magic, then all this time..." "Yes, I was able to see through what's beneath the mask little by little. It took sometime, but there were hints. I could only see you from afar as LB so I couldn't really distinguish who you are, but when I saw you a couple inches away the charm worked it's way and slowly nullified the magic of the miraculous which hides your identity. A simple mask and a suit won't protect your identity, silly. It's the magic of the miraculous." Marinette was shocked. "Then, you could also see Shadow Moth's real identity." She looked at you with hope. "That's the problem, it's hazy. I can't fully see who he is, I haven't met him yet. The charm can't give us what we want right away, it took more than a month to know who you are you know, and maybe it's because I also knew you personally which made it pretty easier to decipher." You answered.

Marinette was about to utter her reply when she heard voices inside her room. She went down and saw Rose about to see inside her dollhouse. She quickly went down and blocked Rose from seeing it. "Don't touch that, move away!" She pushed Rose, which made the cheery girl drop the roof of the dollhouse and broke it. Everyone gasps which made you peek from the patio, 'It's our girl friends'. You refuse to reveal yourself, it might make the girls sulk. "I'm sorry, Marinette." Rose kneels to pick up the broken roof. "Will you please leave my room?" Marinette declares as she showed annoyance to the group. "Chill out, Marinette. It's just a dollhouse, we'll totally help." Alya responded. "No you won't! Please go!"

As the group tries to help Marinette to voice out her problems, the dark haired girl lashes out on them and told them that she doesn't want to be friends with them and told them out. The saddened group left and you finally went down in her room to accompany Marinette. The kwamis were surprised by your appearance and tries to hide but Marinette assured them you're aware. "I had no choice, I had to do it." Her eyes are swollen, she really tried her best to keep her loved ones safe. "We know, Marinette. Someday, they'll understand why you had to do it, but lashing out on them wasn't the best thing to do." "At least now I won't have to lie anymore--" She voiced out between her cries and you cut her off. "No, Marinette. You mustn't think about that." You hugged her and let her cry.

When talking to Marinette about her issues, the both of you were interrupted by your phone, it was your mother telling you to go home. You bid each other goodbye which leaves Marinette into working on the Miracle Box's safe.

At home, you were browsing through channels when the news came up and reports a strange phenomenon about the Eiffel tower. "What happened?" You looked outside from your window and saw what was happening: it was the girls, they were akumatized by Shadow Moth. "Oh no, they must be after Mari." You closed the curtains and called Marinette but she wasn't picking up, you left a text and continued watching the news to have updates on what was happening.

After some time when the villains were defeated, you received a text from Marinette. She was asking you to visit her in their house. You prepared your things and went on your way. You climbed up, knocked, and opened the door to Marinette's room. You saw Alya and the kwamis which made you smile. "You finally told her, huh? I'm happy for you." "Thank you, (Y/n)." She hugged you. "Wait, (Y/n) knew?" Alya crosses her arms. You explained to Alya how it happened and what happened earlier at the patio which she understood and cleared things up.

"So, that's why you haven't gotten akumatized yet." Alya realizes. "That's cool! Then, you also know Chat Noir." She added. "I-I dont! Yet.." You quickly answered. "Mm-hm. Then it's pretty risky for you, huh? Keeping LB's secret identity to the public." Alya said. "It is, there were times where I had to take off my charm and I'm afraid someone will get akumatized and get me, like Truth or Queen Wasp." Alya hugged you and told you that you are a true friend, the both of you noticed Marinette in deep thought. "Hmm... The charm protects you from being akumatized." "What is it, girl?" Alya asked.

"I think I know what we should do next."

#miraculous ladybug #marinette x reader #mlb #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #miraculous ladybug imagine #miraculous au #reader insert #Marinette dupain-cheng x reader #adrien agreste x reader

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sincerelyasomebody · 4 years

Text

Mama || Leticia "Letty" Cruz

(GIF: @angels-reyes)

A/N: This was created because I've seen some speculation that Letty may not make it to the end of Season 3 (😭🥺). My mind needed something fluffy to combat this and so this piece came about. Apologises for grammatical errors and please let me know if the Spanish translation needs correcting.

Characters/Pairing(s): Letty x Reader (mother-daughter relationship) ▪︎ Coco x Reader (mention) ☆ Mayans MC (brief mention) ▪︎ OCs (receptionist, mother and son duo)

Summary: Just a mother protecting her daughter.

Warnings: brief mention of altercation (male and female), description of injuries, fluff, language, nicknames, painkillers (reference to injury)

Word Count: 1755

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

(Y/N) couldn't believe how busy the roads leading to the local high school were. It was a Wednesday, a little after ten and the streets were just packed with cars. She thought it was ridiculous considering people were usually at their jobs and children were in their age appropriate schools. There was no reason for people to be out and about.

"The light's been green for five seconds!" she yelled and honked her horn, "move!" The driver in front gave her the finger before taking off, "you're so fucking lucky I've got somewhere to be, asshole!" she called out as she drove in the opposite direction.

When her phone rang during her break, the last person (Y/N) expected to hear from was the receptionist for Santo Padre High School. According to the woman, Leticia (Letty as she was mostly referred to) had been in an altercation with another student and her parents or caregivers were requested to come and meet with the principal. Rachel, the receptionist, mentioned trying to reach her father but going straight to voicemail. With (Y/N) being listed as an emergency contact she was called.

(Y/N) immediately asked about Letty, but was told that specific details couldn't be discussed over the phone. She found that odd, but accepted it (for the time being) and informed Rachel that she would be there as quickly as she could. After hanging up, she grabbed her belongings and told her manager she had a family emergency to attend to. She was cleared and (Y/N) informed him that she would be taking a week off as well and would keep them updated on her situation.

From the moment she received the call to the time she pulled up in front of the high school, her thoughts revolved around Letty. Being with Coco for several years allowed (Y/N) to gain some insight to the type of life he had been subjected to. Through a lot of tears, constant reassurance and love (Y/N) was able to break through his tough exterior and get him to believe she was in it for the long haul. When (Y/N) was told by him about his daughter being in a similar environment to what he was in growing up, she demanded him to bring her home.

The second she laid eyes on Letty she saw Coco's features and personality shine through. (Y/N) didn't expect the teenager to respect or trust her right off the bat, but she made sure to let her know that she was here if she needed someone to talk to and gave her space. With every door slam, harsh comment and glare sent her way, (Y/N) continued being herself and showed Letty she wasn't a threat. It was challenging, especially when Coco left on runs, but she pushed through. Eventually the teenager began to accept her father's girlfriend without second guessing her.

(Y/N) stepped into the main office and found a woman standing beside a teenage boy, who held some paper towels to his nose and had a couple of scratches on his face. She moved closer and realised the pair were towering over Letty who sat in the corner and was looking down at her lap. Clenching her jaw, she strode over to the trio.

"Get the fuck away from my daughter!" she glared at the duo and turned around to Letty, who was now standing, "mi niña, are you okay?" she kissed her forehead and cupped her cheeks, "Leticia?"

The teenager nodded, "uh… y-yeah, I'm fine," she went to move (Y/N)'s hands but winced, "completely fine."

(Y/N)'s eyes widened at the state of Letty's hands. They were most likely bruised and what shocked her even more was that there was no ice-pack beside her seat. The boy clearly had been given assistance, but her baby girl hadn't and that pissed her off.

"Rachel!" she called out and a woman appeared around the corner, "you're the one who called me right?"

"Yes."

"And, you said you couldn't go over specific details of what happened over the phone?"

"That's correct."

(Y/N) nodded and gestured towards Letty's hands, "well I'm here now and would like an explanation on why my daughter hasn't been treated and that young man has?" When the mother tried to give a reason, she raised a hand in her face, "this doesn't concern you, this conversation is between Rachel and I."

Rachel gulped and could feel the anger radiating off of (Y/N), "well… uh, he was bleeding and –"

"Were there other staff members present?" she asked and when she was given a nod, she continued, "why couldn't they have provided medical assistance to my daughter?"

"She… didn't tell us she was hurt, ma'am, she said she was fine so –"

"Bitch do her hands look fine to you?"

The mother scoffed, "at least we know where your daughter gets her attitude from."

(Y/N) turned to her, "shut up, nobody asked for your ass to speak," she gestured towards her son, "the reason your son's looking like a fucked up tomato is completely justified I can vouch for that."

"Are you kidding me?" She shrieked and pointed to his face, "he's most likely got a broken nose and there's scratches on his face!"

"Exactly, be glad my daughter didn't have a screwdriver on her." (Y/N) replied and almost laughed at the disbelief on the woman's face, "your son deserved every scratch, bruise and possible broken bone."

"Excuse me!?"

(Y/N) ignored her and turned back around to face Rachel, "Letty and I will be leaving now."

"Mrs Fraser hasn't seen –"

"My main concern right now is my daughter's well-being," she told her, "and you've got my details on file so I'm sure Mrs Fraser can contact me at a later date."

Rachel spoke again, "please if you'd just –"

"No."

(Y/N) picked up Letty's bag and walked over to the desk, with Letty trailing behind her. She quickly signed out on the tablet and the pair walked out of the building. Reaching her car, (Y/N) unlocked it and helped Letty into the passenger seat. Closing her door, she rushed to the driver's side and got in.

She helped Letty buckle up, before buckling herself in, "everything okay, sweets?"

"Yeah… uh, thanks." was the response she received, before she started up the car and pulled out of the school parking lot while explaining where they were off to next.

-- ♡ -- ◇ --

"He's always talking shit," Letty explained to (Y/N) about the guy in the office, "it was about time someone shut him up."

"And you were the person to do so?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "he ran his mouth and then touched me, so I beat his ass."

"Two for one special?"

"Pretty much."

(Y/N) chuckled, "when your hands heal up, we'll ask one of the guys to teach you a few moves in the ring, thankfully your hands are just bruised and not broken."

"They still hurt like a bitch."

"You've got another two hours before you can drink some more painkillers."

"What would've happened if Coco answered the phone?" Letty questioned.

(Y/N) shook her head, "honey, I don't even think I wanna know what would've happened," she noticed the teen wince, "are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

She huffed, "I'm fine, okay? I was fine when you picked me up. I was fine when we went to the doctor's office. I was fine at the grocery store and I was fine the last time you asked me."

(Y/N) nodded and pulled into their driveway, putting the car in park, "I'm not gonna apologise about asking how you're feeling. I'm just – I just want to make sure you're okay. But, now I'll stop because I can see I'm annoying you."

"Yeah, you are."

She chuckled, "okay, I'll stop, but you'll tell –"

Letty sighed, "yes, I'll tell you. You really take this parenting thing seriously. I mean… you've been referring to me as your daughter all day and I–I'm not. But you defended me –"

"And I always will."

" – against Kyle, his mum and even the receptionist. I–I've never had that before. And, even at the doctor's office you made sure I was seen by a female because you knew it'd make me more comfortable."

"Letty?"

"You treat me like I'm yours and you called me your daughter and I… I don't know, I just," she took a deep breath, shook her head and looked out of the window.

(Y/N) waited for her to continue, but she didn't. Thinking back on today's events, she realised she had referred to Letty as her own. She had been doing it in her mind for so long and didn't realise she had said it out in the open. Letty had heard her reference and it seemed to make her uncomfortable and that was something she vowed she wouldn't do.

"When I started dating your dad he told me about the kids he had. He told me that he wasn't involved in their lives because being away from them was for the best. I asked him what would happen if one day a kid reached out and his response was "if they do, they do. I ain't gonna turn them away", (Y/N) spoke up, "and then you reached out, sweetums. You reached out and your dad took that as a sign. From the moment you entered our lives, it's been a whirlwind of emotions. We're not this picture perfect family, but we're our own version. Despite being almost an adult, Coco still views you as his baby girl. And, honestly, I've been viewing you the same way."

Letty sniffed and looked up, "really?"

"Absolutely, gorgeous. The moment you stepped through that door you became mine as well," (Y/N) pointed at the front door of their home, before turning to her, "but that doesn't matter if you're not okay with it. I'm not trying to force you to be –"

"I'm Coco's daughter," she cut in and smiled at (Y/N), "and now I'm yours too."

(Y/N) beamed with joy and unbuckled her seatbelt, and Letty's, reaching over the middle console to bring the teen into her arms. Letty wrapped her arms around (Y/N), breathing in her (scent). The woman chuckled and kissed her cheek, "I love you, baby girl."

Letty pulled her closer, "I love you too, mama."

-♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

Spanish Translations:

Mi niña - my girl / baby girl

#leticia cruz #letty cruz #johnny cruz #johnny coco cruz #coco cruz #leticia cruz x reader #letty cruz x reader #johnny cruz x reader #johnny coco cruz x reader #coco cruz x reader #x reader #reader insert #mayans mc #mayans mc fanfiction #santo padre #sincerelyasomebody

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syubub · 4 years

Text

Yoongi birthday reading/energy check!!

It's sweet sweet tangerine bois birthday!!

I wanted to do a cute little energy check up to see what's up and ask some fun little questions!!

I'm excited so let's just do this shit!!

Disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact!!

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I want to apologize for the absolute shit pictures but what's new lol

So, let's start with the platform. First thing I noticed was the blue was brighter but the platform was darker? It was like someone cranked up the contrast to 100. Ngl it looked pretty cool. Yoongis platform doesn't typically have a barrier like some of the others do so I just kinda walked in and did the whole, "happy birthday, I have questions" His energy seemed a lot more... vibrant? And playful I guess? It was really nice. Now. The actual connection was intresting because the cord was blue again and like, real thick. (I don't think my perceived thickness of the cord has and real correlation with how strong the connection is. It was just thicc) this time though, the cord was connected at the chest instead of the third eye. So i was like, ??? But my guide didn't give my any sort of helpful input (my guide likes to watch me suffer in my confusion. I'm sure of it)

Anyway, cord like that and then yoobi gave me a headbutt to connect at the third eye. Idk why he gotta be like that :( istg next time he's gonna flick my forehead or something.

I was like "cool cool cool. I want to do the reading now pls" and idk how to explain the energy other than sassy. You know? Blah blah blah I'm thinking, "I don't remember him being so cheeky but maybe I've been gone long enough for him to level up into his final sass monster form"

Anywho, this was intresting because after the little strings were connected and stuff, we plopped down on the floor. And it was like everything I was doing irl was being mimicked infront of yoons energy? So we were sitting facing eachother and I was putting the cards down between us?? Usually that doesn't happen but it was kinda fun!!

Moving right along. I first asked if there was anything he wanted to say or needed to get across and it was 11. Now, 11 has come up before and I'm still not to sure what it's in reference to? My best guess is possibly he's been seeing 11:11 or that it's 2? Idk let me know if you have any clues lol. Other stuff was just kinda banter and stuff.

So so so.

The reading. First thing I asked was how he was doing. And I shuffled his preticular way (when I ask a question I always ask for the energy to tell me how much to shuffle or when to stop. For yoongi it's always 2-2-2. So 2 bridge shuffles, 2 hand shuffles and then split the pile in 2. That's why I think 11 might be 2 to him?)

The cards we got are ace of swords rev, justice,the heirophant rev, the empress.

So based off this I was like okay. I want to pull clarity cards for the two rev cards to get a better picture so I pulled the emperor rev for ace or swords rev and strength rev and wheel of fortune rev for the heirophant rev.

Starting with the ace of swords rev, and the emperor reverse. It seems like yoongi has been re thinking his relationship to control in his life. That's he's possibly noticing any unhealthy needs to control his life and the situation around him. It could also refer to his judgment being clouded by a rigid approach.

With the justice card it makes me think that he's possibly considering a big choice in his life or that he's really doing some deconstructing of his own views. This second idea fits in well with him getting clarity on some possibly unhealthy control issues in his life.

Now. The heirophant rev, strength rev and wheel of fortune reverse. This was intresting to me bc they are all major arcana. The heirophant rev can really talk about no longer needing outside approval and making your own way in your own time bc you are your own teacher. Strength in rev I kinda read as self doubt and feeling down in this case. Like a lack of confidence in himself and his abilities. And the wheel of fortune in reverse I took to mean as his breaking cycles. All together these cards kinda paint a picture about wanting and trying to break a cycle of self doubt and self limiting beliefs and learning more about himself and why he think what he does about himself and searching through everything for truth. It's really good!! In short he's doing some nice soul searching and trusting himself to guide his own way through this self discovery!

The empress! This card seems to pop up for yoobi a lot and I think it really speaks to the abundance that surrounds him! Not just money but the abundance of creativity, love, friends ect.

Now now now. I asked him if there was anything that he wanted to tell us about himself or bts or what's happening in the near future. For that I got 2 of cups, king of wands and 3 of coins.

So the 2 of cups is partnership. Usually romantic. Could be pertaining to the may 13th thing that is ever present lol but I'll get to that later. With the 3 of coins talking about teamwork, this could definitely hint at collaborations coming up!! That's the vibe I get. No one crush my dreams. And for the king of wands it could be talking about taking the reigns on a new project and starting to get it done. Like a new opportunity. This could be a new bts project like starting a new campaign or new venture or maybe personal like the a mixtape or doing more songs for other groups ect.

I had to ask him how he was feeling about the grammys. I had to. Had to. The cards were ace of wands, 2 of wands and death reverse. When these came flying out I could help but smile. Yoongis energy was almost giddy too!

Witht he ace of wands

It's that spark of creativity and inspiration. It's that feeling when you get super excited over some new thing. I think this is the perfect example for feeling reinvigorated. The 2 of wands takes that spark from the ace and tries to funnel that excitement and newness into something directional. Using that burst of creativity to start planning for future progress!! Its so nice to see that! If they don't win (IF) you bet we're gonna get some bangers about a corrupt system. If (WHEN) they do win we'll get bangers about how thankful they are to have gotten where they are in spite of a corrupt system. I just want to hear an uncensored version of yoongi being like, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WE DID IT BITCHES. FUCK ALL YOU BASTARDS THAT SAID WE COULDN'T."

I can dream....

What a nice dream.

Now I asked if there was anything yoobi wanted to say to us as in advice or comfort or anything like that and I got, Clearing negativity, make time for self care, when I'm tuned into the energy of abundance I become abundant. when I'm in a state of appreciation im in vibrational alignment with my true love nature. The world rev, 2 of swords rev and that project, that person, that idea is waiting.

Awe. Take care of yourselves!! Make sure to take time to enjoy what you like and try not to let any negativity get in the way of you enjoying your days. The world rev to me seems to be talking about seeking closure on the things in your life that have been impacting you. Tie up those loose ends so you can move foward without triping over yourself and 2 of swords rev I think talks about information overload and being kinda indecisive bc of that. Take a sep back to evaluate the situation at hand because sometimes it's so close you can't see what you're looking for. Those of you who are studying and getting frustrated because you just can't seem to get it, try taking a step back and doing something to take care of yourself and come back to it so you can approach with a clearer mind. Try not to get stuck or paralyzed by choice but if you do get stuck, take some time to detach yourself from the situation and come back later!

A fair few people wanted an update on yoobis soulmate as well. If you need a refresher here's the run down. Yoongis soulmate is impossible for me to read, yoongi is a smug ass and I'm nosy and probably a little dumb.

Now that that's cleared up

I asked, "am I missing something?" (As to why I can't connect and why yoongi won't give me answers.)

I got queen of cups, magician and the high priestess. I read this as him being like, "yeah dude, you aren't woke enough"

YOONGI just give me answers pls. The high priestess is intuition and sacred knowledge, the magician is manifestation and the queen of cups is also intuition.

At this point I was like, okay you little shit, can you at least tell me how your soulmate is doing? Can you do that for me?

2 of cups, 2 of pentacles, 9 of wands and knight of wands. 2 of cups is partnership usually romantic, 2 of pentacles is priorities and managing them, 9 of wands persistence, knight of wands motivation for a new thing. His soulmate last time was in the process of going through some shit and figuring it out and it seems like now they've got a better clue of how to move foward and are currently heading towards good things/ important things in their life (possibly like working towards dream career or had an idea for a business the want to start or field they want to go in.)

I was thinking about the next question when this popped into my head, "if you know about your akashic book, do you know about your soulmates? Have you read it?" I used my pendulum. No movement at all. What so ever. "Are you listening to me?" Yes. "So answer my question please" No. "Do you like to watch me suffer?" Maybe. "Do you know the answer to the question" yes.

YOONGI WHY

This cheeky son of a bitch.

Now I was like, fuck it. Imma ask him the big boi question.

"Is your soulmate present when I do these readings?" Yes.

WHY THE FUCK CAN I NIT PICK UP ON IT???

I had to take a deep breath dude. Yoobi is testing my nerves.

"Are they hiding their energy?" No.

I was actually gonna combust. This makes no sense.

I asked yoongi if he would tell me what I'm not getting. Silence. So i ask my guide.

"lol ur dumb"

Watch me Google "how to fire your spirit guide"

Istg this feels like some dumb prank. Maybe I'm just genuinely oblivious to his soulmates energy or maybe I'm just doing something.

What do you want to bet that his soulmate is just hiding under the platform and I'm too stupid to notice or some dumb thing like that.

yoobi, sir, why must you do this?

I decided to continue.

"What message or thing have you learned from your soulmate recently that could be valuable to us?" I got healthy communication in relationships and deep replenishment.

Good to know you can have a nice communicative relationship with your soulmate bc I CAN'T.

I'm petty about it, sue me.

The message does stand though. Good communication and taking proper rest to replenish yourself.

Now I had to ask yoongi directly what he thought of may 13th.

I got the lovers, 7 of swords, the magician and judgement. The seven of swords was intresting and it makes me think there's some extra stuff at play here too. 7 of swords is about getting away with something and deceit. The clarifier was the magician.... this could mean a lot honestly. It could be that maybe yoongi will have his relationship exposed or possibly that maybe him and his soulmate meet but yoongi is disguised? Idk how that would work at all but I'm stumped. There's a lot of variations that this could be. The magician is about manifesting and having everything you need to create what you want. This could possibly mean that maybe he gets a sudden idea that's like, "oh I have to go here right now. Its super important" eventhough he has practice scheduled. So that would let down his team but he would be following his path and it might lead to him meeting his soulmate? Maybe vice versa? Idk let me know what you think??

With the judgement its about inner calling and kinda like the peak. Like shit has been leading up to this moment. With the lovers too it does seem like a union?

I asked him, "but like what's gonna happen on the 13th thought and I got the 10 of cups. Divine love, bliss, alignment, happy mushy gushy shit. This is why I'm so inclined to think that they'll meet on the 13th or things will get serious or their paths finally cross. The cards seem to heavily suggest that.

My dude. Yoongi is really sappy, pass it on.

For the last question I asked yoomgi if there was messages/ advice he had given to his soulmate that we might benefit from.

First step, open your third eye, open your heart, sign from heaven, open your arms to receiving.

A lot of opening lol.

It's good advice though learning to be open and receptive and taking that first step in tackling life or any situation.

Oki. Now for the disconnecting. It was not nearly as strange as it has been in the past. I was just like thanks dude. Again, happy birthday blah blah and I got up to leave. I noticed it looked like we were in sitting in one of those old plastic hoola hoops? Like the pink and yellow ones lol. As I was looking at and and like??? Off to the side the numbers 13, 28, 54. Obvi 54 isn't a date and then I the last yoongi check up there was book pages and I feel like 54 and 28 were the pages?? I'm not actually sure as I'm writing this so I'm gonna check.

Yep I checked. They are the page #s.

So that's intresting.

Other than that though I just kinda left and he was like, "bye" and that's all.

Not as cool as other yoongi adventures but equally as frustrating.

TLDR

Yoongis doing pretty okay and he's a cheeky little shit. My guide like to watch me suffer and yoobi is mushy gushy squishy.

Happy day of birth Syub!!

#bts #bts tarot #yoongi #bts reactions #bts imagines #yoongi imagine #bts rm #seokjin #bts suga #min suga #park jimin #hoseok #taehyung #jungkook

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liljungie · 5 years

Text

Young Blood | Mafia AU

▸Pairing : Jimin ↮ Reader ↮ Taehyung.

▸ ！warnings ！= agnst × future smut × verbal abuse / guns and blood and violence × crime × mafia and all what comes with it.

▸Word count: 4k

▸Part one ❝ Past Phase ❞ | Part two : ❝ Mission A23 ❞

▸Masterlist

A/N: I am SO sorry for being m.i.a for the past month, I had my finals and I got sick and been through a lot but yea I'm back!! Also I'm sorry for any mistakes in this part!

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The drive to the warehouse felt like it took forever with your heart acting the way it did you were positive that you're going to die before you got there because of how fast it was beating.

You were nervous and a bit scared because you knew what was awaiting you, as much as you loved vivian no good news ever came out of her lips, maybe honesty was what you needed especially if it has to do with your daughter. You tried telling yourself. But nothing seems to work when you were trying to calm yourself it only made you more anxious.

You parked the car a few meters away from the warehouse gate as you waited patiently for vivian to walk out, you checked your phone for messages but you only got a text from jimin a few minutes ago updating you on Luna. you typed a quick reply before your screen turned dark and taehyung's name flashed bright. Signaling that he's calling you.

You could feel your body set on fire as panic rush through your vains, you threw your phone on the back seat it kept vibrating in your palms or started to feel heavy or maybe that was the panic attack that you were about to have.

You looked outside terrified that he might be lurking in the woods around you or he could see you from inside his office in the warehouse, you couldn't call Vivian to tell her to rush because taehyung was blowing up your phone. You bite your lip for what's about to come.

And knowing taehyung you were in deep shit.

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"I'm sorry! Cracking the code took longer than it should" vivian smiled at you warmly before she took you in for a long awaited embrace.

She laughed lightly against your head "I missed you V!" You tell her as you pull away "hurry drive away!" She exclaimed and that you did speeding far away from the warehouse...

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" You begin to say after you passed the warehouse she sighs clearing her throat before speaking "I'll tell you everything once we're home" you turn and look at her "you have a home? What happened to your roommate?" You ask her with a confused gaze.

"Well I dated said roommate..." she tells you and you gasp, you loved them together and suspected that there's a relationship between them but never asked. "but you know how my job is and I didn't want to risk it so I-" she looks away from you as you keep glancing at her from the rare view mirror your eyes go wide "don't tell me you kil-" vivian cuts you off "no!" She said loudly "no I broke up with her and moved out" she says swolling the lump in her throat.

"I'm sorry about that v.. I didn't know" you smile sympathetically at your best friend and she returns the smile "______ she loved me and I broke her..."

You sigh, funny how you too broke someone for their safety but ended up questioning if it was worth it for the rest of your life..

"You did the right thing" you didn't know if you were telling that to her or yourself "she can't know or get involved it's dangerous" you tell her softly referring to her job in the mafia.

"I had a thousand others way to leave her but I chose the worst way out" she spoke in a tone where it felt like she was scolding herself "I made jimin pretend to be my boyfriend so I can convince her that I wasn't into girl- her anymore"

Jealousy crept up on you slowly feeling like you have been splashed with gasoline and burning up, you knew how jimin had a soft spot for his friends and always up for help no matter the cost, in the past you hated this trait of his but it made him who he is and you couldn't help but love him even more for it.

"So...what did he do?" You bite your lip anticipating the dreadful answer. But apart of you didn't want to imagine vivian and jimin together. "he pretended to be my boyfriend- I broke her in two...the look on her face will haunt me forever" vivian looked away as you sigh remembering the look on jimin's face when he saw you walking out of taehyung's office half naked. "you know it's for the best...she's safe now at least" you tried to cheer her up and it looks like your words soothed that ache but very slightly.

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You and vivian settled to go to your favourite spot instead of her home, besides you both needed a little getaway.

You were both finally at the top of the mountain. You parked the car further away so you can get a bit if fresh air, you have been cooped up in the car for a good while.

you and vivian walked side by side arms locked as you were talking about new things she bought.

She rubbed your arm soothingly "I want you to not lose your cool okay? You need to hear me til the end" she starts looking at you with worried eyes.

You take a deep breath and nod as you face her, the wind around you picks up making your hair fly around "tell me I can't take it longer"

"Mr.kim has been visiting taehyung twice a week.. I couldn't hear much but yesterday I heard just about enough to alert you.." she looks away from your eyes and your eyebrows furrow with worry "and?" You ask searching for a glimpse of good news in her features but it looks...bad.

"Mr.Kim wants to take Luna from you and taehyung"

"What?!" Disbelief hit you like a brick. it felt like every blood vessel stood frozen in your vains not able to process the words you just heard. "Taehyung is Fighting back but he can only do so much because Mr.kim is still his father after all" vivian tells you with a hint of sympathy for taehyung.

"I don't get it why does he want Luna?" You feel your knees weaken so you take a seat on the rocks that were beside your feet, you feel the world collapsing all around you the moment you sit down.

"I don't know....he-he talked about making her the new weapon and that her being spoiled won't be useful to the mafia- " you interrupt "who is he to get to say that about my daughter?! What fucking weapon?" You yell frustrated feeling the very last bit of patience run out "what did taehyung say back?!" You ask your heart hammering against your ribcage. Did he fight back at all?

"I'm not telling you this so you freak out______! I'm telling you this so you be careful of your next steps! and that you protect Luna! Mr.kim is going to take her and raise her somewhere that not even his own son knows about as if right now he's asking taehyung to give him Luna willingly and taehyung is doing all he can to deny him but I'm not sure how much patience mr.kim has left so ______ you must do something!" Vivian falls to her knees infront of you as you weep softly.

You really could lose your daughter, she would be gone without a trace the thought alone made you tremble.

"What if taehyung is in on it what if he takes our daughter just to please his father!" You cry and vivian shakes her head as she holds your hands in your lap "he's not ______! god if you can only hear how angry he was at his own father! he loves Luna too much to give her away ...I even think he loves you because I heard him yell after he kicked mr.kim out of his office that he'll hunt down whoever comes for you or Luna"

Your eyes widen, taehyung kicked out his dad? Vivian picked up on your shocked expression and nodded "yes he did, he couldn't tolerate him I guess"

You look up at her sniffling "really?" Vivian smiles "Taehyung is with you not against you" you shake your head "I don't know V, he was once my boss I just can't see him being good towards me or that he cares about me I just can't-" you wip away your nose and the tears that fell helplessly from your red eyes as you stand up dusting your jeans looking away from her eyes.

You hated feeling helpless you hated crying and you hated that you didn't know what to do next.

"Taehyung is difficult but Luna is his baby...his own blood! I don't think he'll ever give her away" vivian replies back trying to ease your worries but you can't be calmed you feel the adrenaline pick up and your mind won't stop racing with thoughts, bad dark twisted thoughts.

"I'm not saying this because I'm his right hand but taehyung is doing so much to prevent you and his daughter from getting hurt" you turn around to face her once again, you stayed quiet not knowing what to say, your tounge was tied you couldn't speak even if you wanted to " you never realized it or took it into consideration" vivian smiled sympathetically at you "just give him time and he'll show you" she hugs you. You let out a deep breath hugging her back.

You closed your eyes as you remember vividly the first time taehyung started to "protect" you...

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It was a cold January afternoon as taehyung passed back and forth behind his desk his hands on top of each other at the small of his back. Overthinking and trying to come up with ways to prevent you from being exposed to this side of the world again.

A knock sounded at the door "come in" he said loud enough for the people he called over to enter. he heard the footsteps stop near the two chair on each side of his desk he cleared his throat "I want _____ traces to disappear I want you both to make it look like she vanished of the face of this earth do you understand?" Taehyung firmly spoke, his back facing them. He was watching the supply truck unload and he was hiding his nervous state.

"Yes sir!" Vivian nodded quickly. she heard silence on her right side where jimin stood

she turned and nudged him to speak up. he rolled his eyes "we're on it" he finally said ready to turn on his heels and be out of taehyung's office.

Taehyung let out a sigh "You may leave hitman..." he ordered making jimin raise his eyebrows, he couldn't help but send dragers his way. taehyung spoke again "vivian please take a seat" he said while turning his chair over and sitting on it.

Vivian gulped as jimin snickered and took off to start on his mission as the office door closed shut. taehyung turned with his chair to face vivian he sent her a warm smile, oddly she returned it but it felt unsure and forced "you're her best friend so I want you to know if her pregnancy is troubling her...she refuse to visit the doctors but I just want to make sure she and my baby are okay" he spoke rubbing his hands together nervously. Vivian was...shocked bureau happy that taehyung isn't as cold as he pretends to be.

You denied visiting the hospital at the early stages of your pregnancy, where most people were worried about their pregnancy but you; you just couldn't stand the thought of going to the doctors with taehyung. Not only you had a phobia from hospitals but you also had a semi phobia of taehyung himself. So you rejected him every time he offered to take you to check on the baby.

"I don't think she's in any pain sir I just saw her enter the training room-" vivian informs him speaking with a wary tone, obviously she was aware of the reason why you didn't want to go to the doctors but she can't possibly tell taehyung, at her words his eyes widen with rage "training room!? She'll get hurt!" He immediately stood up from his leather chair to dial a number on his phone the minute he place the phone to his ear the other line answered "kick _____ out of the training room!- tell her I said so" and with that he slammed the phone on the table.

He let out a loud sigh, rubbing his face. frustration and annoyance were drawn on his features the air turned tense and vivian felt so awkward. knowing you you'll lecture her about saying anything to taehyung so she immediately tried to come up with something to cover up your tracks.

"Sir ______ is perfectly okay! I don't see why you had to-" her voice came to a halt when you barged into the office, your eyes if they could, they would have burned the whole building down.

"What the fuck taehyung!" You yelled, you were sweaty and your belly was poking out of your crop top, you glare "I have a mission with jimin in a couple of hours I need to train!" You exclaim.

"No you don't ______ because you're fired!" Taehyung replied back angrily, why couldn't you just understand him and where he's coming from and why he's doing what he's doing, he couldn't tell you so why didn't you pick up on it. It frustrated him. But between him and himself he hated arguing with you.

"What!" You screamed "I'm going weather you like it or not!" You said with a sarcastic smile, he can see how the anger was eating you but he just couldn't risk it, he can't lose you or your baby, right now you were testing him and his patience and that he abouslouty couldn't endure. He stood up from his chair slamming his fists on his desk.

"You're not going and that's final!" He yelled you flinched then huffed in annoyance as you turned on your heels. slamming the door shut loudly behind you.

Vivian shifted in her seat feeling extremely awkward after witnessing your argument with taehyung, no matter how many times she was here when you fought with taehyung and heard it all she still felt extremely uncomfortable. She blames herself for the argument that just happened. And wished she left with jimin or told taehyung she needed the bathroom or something.

Taehyung let out a loud sigh falling back on his chair rubbing his face "have I done the wrong thing?" He asks, vivian didn't know if he was asking her or himself but regardless she cleared her throat "the A23 mission is important and jimin alone won't survive it" she informed taehyung.

Since she was responsible for hacking. the building that was supposed to be ambushed by you and jimin was preoccupied with a lot of the enemy gang members. It would be impossible on jimin to attack alone.

"_____ is in no position to go through with it so jimin has to do for this mission I'll find him a new partner soon...you're excused" taehyung said without giving the mission another spare thought vivian knew taehyung didn't understand how difficult it would be for jimin to go alone.

"But sir the mission- jimin can't go-" she tried to say feeling panicked. "I said he can do it are you questioning my orders?!" Taehyung said abruptly glaring her. vivian flinched as her head hanged low with sadness "no sir" she softly said making her way to the office door closing it shut behind her.

Vivian walked out of the office feeling the fear overflowing she made her way towards jimin to warn him.

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You were in a trance while you drove back to the city, so many emotions took over your mind you couldn't separate your thoughts.

You felt so lost wondering what and how and when, the only thing that was on your mind is your innocent child being torn apart from you into this underground world, you can't help but think of the worst out comes.

Should you talk about it with taehyung? Or should you just run away with her? How far will you go? How far enough do you think taehyung will let you get away?

A loud honk broke you out of your dazed state making you make a sudden turn hitting the breaks of your car suddenly as you jolted from your seat, your head almost hit the glass of the windshield.

You heard the driver of the truck yell incoherent words at you while driving past your car, you let out a loud sigh tucking your hair behind your ears.

You knew overthinking it while you were driving will get you nowhere. so you took deep breaths and turned on the radio to distract you until you got to jimin's apartment. Then you'll think about it however long you wanted.

Focusing on the lyrics of the song that was playing you began to drive carefully.

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You knocked lightly on the hardwood door then moved a bit back waiting for the door to swing open you heard footsteps on the other side and soon enough the door creeks open, jimin's head poked from the side of the door then he smiled warmly when his eyes met yours. opening the door wider stepping aside to let you in.

He placed his pointer finger on his lips "Luna is sleeping" he whispered as you tiptoed inside nodding, you glanced at her briefly then you turned to jimin. the way he was looking at you made your heart flutter inside your chest and you couldn't help but let the feelings you kept grounded out.

You were trying to think of the right words to say as you take off your coat and hang it beside jimin's "thank you for...babysitting her I hope she wasn't a bother" you speak gently he chuckles "never..." he glanced at his arm making your eyes travel to where he was looking at. you giggle when you see colors covering his skin and scribbles "I'm sure she'll be a great artist one day" he jokes as you cover your mouth to suppress your giggles.You spot the wetwipes on the top shelf and make your way towards it then you turn around and walk towards jimin.

Your chests almost touch and you feel the giggles and laughs die down as you examine his arm, the colors were out of the tattoo lines and she littered smiley faces in the empty spots on jimin's arm you couldn't help but smile as you looked over at his arm.

He smiled warmly before he remembered her words 'daddy makes mommy cry' he cleared his throat "she told me..." you look up confused "Luna told me about Taehyung.." you sigh and look away as you start to wip his arm "jimin please don't-" "why are you still with him?!" He asks clearly he has had enough of hiding his emotions and had enough of you sticking around with someone else "because Luna deserves to be happy and taehyung makes her happy" you look up at him and you could see just how angry his eyes were you look away "and you don't?" He asks after a few seconds you stare at him "I'll never be happy...the things I've done...I'll never forgive myself-" you murmur he placed his thumb under your chin lifting your face up "it's in the past _____ it's over and they were bad men they deserved to die if they stayed alive they could have killed innocent people" you shake your head as tears fall from your eyes "we're just as guilty!" You whisper he sighs his hands were placed on your upper arms soothingly rubbing them up and down to calm you down "that doesn't matter now...what matters...to me- is to see you happy"

You look up at him and you can see the tears that he held in his eyes "I am happy as long as you're around" you tell him not caring about the boundaries you two had not giving a fuck that you were married to another man you were in love with jimin, you will always love jimin.

He creased your cheeks with his thumb and leaned forward placing a kiss on your forehead his lips lingered a minute too long before he pulled away, the heat of the moment made you shake nervously, the butterflies in your stomach were going crazy and you couldn't help the smile that broke out on your face. trembling you moved backwards afraid that you won't be able to control yourself if you stayed infront of him like this "it's- it's not coming off" you mutter gesturing towards the colors on his skin.

He laughs "I know, I bought a soap that takes it off it's in the bathroom" he turned around making his way towards the bathroom you followed him closely behind. "I knew how much Luna loves to color in my tattoos so I bought it just in case she comes over" he laughs. His ears turned red feeling slightly embarrassed.

You smile at the thought of him thinking of your daughter while he was grocery shopping alone and buying a soap specifically for when she wants to color his tattoos. Things like this made jimin a much better father figure than taehyung you shake your head at the thought, even though it felt nice but why do you think of jimin like that?

He pulls out the can of soap from the cupboard that was underneath the sink he winks at you before taking off his shirt you gasp when you see she also colored the angle wings tattoo he had on his back "you let her have her way with you too easily don't you?" You laugh shaking your head "how can I not when she has your eyes" he murmurs as the blush on your cheeks creep up turning them into a rosy color.

You squeeze some of the soap onto the towel that was hanging on the side of the sink then you start to scrub his arm, the colors run down with the soap in the sink.

your legs were starting to hurt from standing for too long he sees how you shift your weight from one leg to another so he pulls you by your waist and lifts you up on the counter. you yelped when you felt his warm palms on your waist lifting you up until your bum was on the countertop.

"That's better" he smiles moving the strands of your hair that had fallen on your face behind your ear, your face felt too hot and your heart was hammering against your ribcage. You used all your might to not wrapp your legs around his waist and let him have his way with you however he wanted. you didn't know that he is thinking of the same thing.

You look away from his piercing stare. drifting your attention to his arm as you moved further down, in the corner of your eye you saw a scar on his hip. you look up at him because you knew he was staring at your every move, with a confused gaze "where did you get this from?" You ask as your finger carefully grazes it. He looks at it the he sighs "Mission A23" he replies softly looking away from you "they outnumbered me" your head hangs low with sadness you can't imagine how he must have felt going alone. If you went with him he wouldn't have been hurt.

And the fact that taehyung probably hid the news of him getting hurt from you and probably ordered everyone to keep their mouth shut about the mission made your blood boil.

You felt this fire crawl up your body, your throat tightened "I'm so sorry" the tone of your voice made it clear that you were trying to suppress your tears, in that moment the hatred you had for taehyung rose up to the surface leaving a bitter taste in your mouth as regret consumes you, if you only fought taehyung and went with jimin he wouldn't have been hurt.

Jimin looks at you with admiration and runs his fingers through your hair he hears your sniffles at that he chuckles. You still cared about him? He lifts your head up gently making you look deeply into his eyes "I'm okay...it's alright" he reassures you but that only makes you break down more.

You just couldn't handle the weight of it all, living with taehyung and taehyung's father wanting to take your daughter and the fear of being caught by another mafia, everything you were pushing away started to pour out you felt so overwhelmed, you curled up on the counter and started to sob.

Jimin felt confused and concerned but moved quickly to shut the bathroom door so Luna doesn't wake up.

"______ what's wrong? You're freaking the hell out of me!" Jimin says in frustration looking at your figure curled up. the sound of your cries was agonizing.

"It hurts!...make it stop-please I can't do this anymore-" he pulls you towards him by your thighs. burying your head in his chest, he feels you shake against him as he hush your cries while he rubs your back "talk to me...tell me what's wrong" his heat was breaking he hated seeing you cry.

You don't speak for awhile you just cry against his chest. your arms wrapped around his waist hanging onto him for dear life. You felt like if you let go of him he'd vanish. it was only a few minutes before you found the strength to speak again "Taehyung" was the only word you could say, you lost all of your energy with the tears that fell.

You sigh and pull away jimin turns on the water faucets wiping your face with the lukewarm water gently. he nods for you to continue."they want to take Luna from me..." you cried. Jimin froze in his place your words seemed to have broken something in him because his eyes turned colder, angerer.

So the rumors were true?

"what the fuck are they on to now?" He tugs on his hair pacing in front of you as you wip your face with the end of the towel you used minutes ago. You look at him and he looks so livid.

He looks at you briefly then looks away. biting his lip as silence takes over the small bathroom both of you had no idea what to say he slides down the titled wall and you lean against the wall behind you.closing your eyes, your eyelids felt so heavy from sobbing earlier, vivian's words never left your mind they played over and over again like a broken record.

It felt suffocating not being able to know what to do, because your fear of taehyung was far more worse than what his dad is capable of doing, even though he threatens to take Luna away taehyung won't let him get far or anywhere near her at all.

Or so that was what your mind was trying to believe because you have no idea what you're going to do.

You glance down at jimin, he looks deep in his thoughts, concerned you decided to break the silence "penny for your thoughts?" your voice sounded horse and barely audible.

He looks up at you licking his lips before looking away from your eyes again "you won't like it" your eyebrows furrow as you hop off the counter sitting down in front of him placing your hands on top of his "try me" you couldn't say that with your whole chest you were still uneasy about what he might suggest "let's take Luna and runaway" he tells you.

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| please let me know if you like this au so far.|

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darkfairy-tales · 4 years

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Inception - Chapter Five

Description: As an omega, Hongjoong was always treated wrongly in his pack. So when he is forced to be with an alpha who wasn't his mate he runs away. With little to no idea on where to go. With a small hope of finding his mate.

Character: ATEEZ, EXO, THEBOYZ, etc

Pairing: Ateez x Hongjoong, Hongjoong centric

Warning: Mentions of blood, violence, etc

"This can't be... I-I can't be.." Hongjoong chokes out. He suddenly felt like he couldn't breath. Seonghwa quickly walks over to hold the smaller male. "Shh it's okay. It's okay. Calm down." He says in a soft tone. "I can't be a hybrid. No.. Hakjoon. I thought he was... my dad. W-why would mom hide my real father from me?" Hongjoong sobs out. Others look at their small mate as he cried. All Seonghwa could do was hug the smaller male and comfort him through words. After Hongjoong had calmed down a bit Mingi took the smaller from Seonghwa holding him close. "Is there... is there anything more?" Hongjoong asked sniffing. "The next pages are empty. I don't think your mom wrote anything more." Yeosang says. The remaining pages were blank.

"Why wasn't my own father there for me? Why did mom lied to me? Why?" Hongjoong asks to no one in particular. "There are no answers. But we can track down the witch Choi Haeju. If she is even alive that is." Jongho says sighing. "How do we even track her? It's not like we used to know her or something." San says frustrated ruffling his hair. "..Baekhyun hyung! Maybe he can help us." Mingi suggest. Hongjoong looks at him questioningly. "You are right. Baekhyun hyung is half witch. So he might know Choi Haeju or know someone who in turn knows Choi Haeju. Also we need to know about vampire wolf hybrids. Baekhyun hyung's help is what we need." Seonghwa said. "I will call them." Wooyoung offers as he goes away to call Baekhyun.

EXO pack house members comes shortly after they were informed that Hongjoong and others needed their help. They all sat on the living room. Some on the couch. Others on the floor as Seonghwa explained to everyone what had happened and what they have found out. Baekhyun was shocked. "But luna.. we never knew luna even had another mate." Baekhyun says his eyes wide. "How could she let anyone know... You know how it was between vampire and werewolves at that time." Sehun mumbles. Baekhyun sighs. "Finding the said witch is easy. But I am more worried about Hongjoong." Baekhyun says looking at Hongjoong with a concerned look. "Why?" Seonghwa asked. "You know how powerful half vampire and half wolf can be from all the stories you guys might have heard. But as it says. Most of the child dies at young age. Their fragile body unable to handle the power coursing through them." Baekhyun says taking a breath in.

"But they are more dangerous. Not just because of the powers. But also because being a mate of a vampire and werewolf hybrid means you get more power too. What I am trying to say is. When you all complete the mating process you all will become stronger than you already are. It is a blessing but it is also a curse. Years ago when a vampire wolf hybrid is born and if they were able to live until the age where they mature then people would fight. To have them as their. So that they can get the power which comes with being a vampire wolf hybrid's mate." Baekhyun says leaving everyone stunned. "The last known vampire wolf hybrid who was able to live till the day of maturation was from 200 years ago. He died after his mate died." Chanyeol says frowning. "Do you think someone knows? That I am half vampire..." Hongjoong asked nervous. "I don't think so. I mean even you didn't knew about yourself." Jongin says. "Unless. Someone managed to find out your mother had two mates. One of their being a vampire. And that you were the vampire's son." Kyungsoo says.

"Should I tell you about your father? Lee Seokjoon?" Minseok asked Hongjoong hesitantly. "You know about him?" The younger asked. "I don't know much to be honest. I only know that he is still alive. Till now. And it raises the question on why he never tried to find you. We can only know more when we find Choi Haeju." Minseok says sadly. "Hyung do you really think I have a vampire blood in me? It's just... I just never had any signs of me being half vampire." Hongjoong says frowning trying to think of anything weird. "I think your parents kept your vampire side surpressed. In order to keep your identity hidden." Chen answers. Hongjoong nods in understanding. "So let's start some investigation shall we." Suho says trying to lighten up the mood a bit. "I will go outside and call all my witch friends one by one and ask them about Choi Haeju. Chanyeol. Sehun follow me. You two are going to help." Baekhyun says as he goes out with Sehun and Chanyeol following behind. "Come on up with me Hongjoong. Let's have some private time." Kyungsoo says smiling. Hongjoong nods standing up helping the heavily pregnant male upstairs to his room while other stayed behind.

"Hmm they prepared your room so well." Kyungsoo hums impressed as he looks around the room. Hongjoong smiles. "Yeah they made sure everything were to my liking." He says. "Come on sit down." Kyungsoo says as he sat down on the bed patting on the space beside him. Hongjoong obeys sitting down beside the older. "What do you think about the boys till now?" Kyungsoo asked referring to Seonghwa and the other six alphas. "They are really nice. I am glad that I have them as my mates. They are everything I could ask for." Hongjoong says with a blush. "That they are. They are going to start wanting to mate you anytime now. But don't mate with them all at once. Mating bite is too hard to handle. And you can't get seven mating bites all at once. It will be too much for your body and for your wolf. So go for one at a time." Kyungsoo advices. Hongjoong nods.

Kyungsoo breathes out as he rubs his baby bump. "I swear I am never going to let Jongin touch me after this." He grumbled when he felt the baby kick hard. Hongjoong laughs at that. "What is pregnancy like?" He asks curious. "Both heaven and hell. Knowing that you are carrying a child. A symbol of the love between you and your mate. The feeling is amazing. Knowing that the child is your and your mate's blood. When I look at myself in the mirror I feel proud of myself. I feel happy knowing that me and mate have went through lots of hardship and thatnwe finally having a family of our own. It's heaven. But then it's hell. The pain that comes with pregnancy. The exhaustion. The mood swings. Yet all of these are going to be worth it at the end. I am excited to welcome our baby into this world." Kyungsoo says with a smile.

Hongjoong looks at the older and he feels the need to have a baby of himself. "I wish to be mother too." He mumbles. "You will be a great one that I am sure." Kyungsoo says. "Can I touch?" Hongjoong asked referring to the baby bump. "Oh yes of course." Kyungsoo said nodding. Hongjoong brought his hands up placing it on the baby bump. His eyes widening when he felt the baby kick right against his hands. "Woah so active. What's the gender?" He asks in wonder. "It's a girl." Kyungsoo says smiling. "She is going to be everyone's sweetheart." Hongjoong chuckles. "And stuck with a overprotective father who will scare away her mate." Kyungsoo says both of then bursting out laughing at the thought.

Suddenly the door opens and Baekhyun comes running inside. "I have found! Choi Haeju." he said, a victorious smile on his face as he showed them the address where Haeju was staying. Hongjoong didn't knew how to react. He was happy that they found her but also nervous to find out whatever he was going to find out about his parents and himself. 'I am going to face whatever it is. I have my alphas with me.' He thought to himself. Feeling better knowing that he was not going to be alone. "Let's go now. I want to talk to her today. Now." Hongjoong says. He was going to find out what had happened to his parents no matter what.

[Inception Masterlist]

Hello guys! I am so sorry for posting so late! I got really busy with my classes. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please don't forget to like and reblog this!

I will try to update again fast. But I am not too sure. My exam is coming up so I might have to update my story slowly. But stay tuned for the next chapter! Love you all. Buii~ 💜💜

#ateez hongjoong #ateez jongho #ateez wooyoung #ateez yeosang #ateez mingi #ateez san #ateez yunho #ateez seonghwa #ateez fluff #ateez au #ateez fantasy au #ateez fanfic #ateez werewolf au

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2-masters · 4 years

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The Flattery of Feet

My lords and ladies of the wonderful world of Fetish, I bring you my most important post yet.

It is the word that gets my blood pumping.

I've spoiled this with the title; but feet. Foot, paws, dogs, hooves, kick-assers, or whatever you call the mystery behind your most underestimated resource. When we think feet the mind comes up with many things: stink, gross, fungus, ripened, big, and hairy are just a few. But, my friends, let me tell you! These adjectives are exactly what those who subscribe to the fetish of feet live for. Let me explain that I, as a HOMO-sapien (focus on the big word) am referring to the ones attached to the man leg. The pungent, smelly, veiny, long toed creature my eyes meet when the sandals are on. I have never before been turned on by something more, and quite honestly can't tell you when my fascination started. Add to the fact the smell emmiting is intoxicating to me and you have your self #footworship#footie#footslave#footpig#

All of which have defined some of us more than we like to admit. As one of the 2 Masters [[email protected]] of our Wolfden, (no plugs needed..... accepting donations for our dungeoun remodel in Upstate South Carolina paypal.me/2mastersplayhouse, CashApp: Halfwolves) it can sometimes be hard to admit to new slave arrivals with 3/4 of them usually being #footworshippers, that I too am a slave to the feet of our Master Aether. I promised him I wouldn't go into a fucking rant on his God Like appendages so.... Picture shown (2 weeks of sock torture) for one of our lucky fans in Florida.

Anyone that has had the pleasure of knowing me knows I could write on and on and on about the huge, pungent stompers in the photo for pages upon pages. But, not today. For we merely use them as examples. So, keep your tongues in your mouths footies; maybe next time.

Now how could something so weird, smelly, and unkept be the leader of kink in the gay world? It's quite simply something no one can answer. If I give you my kink reason as to why, it would be the smell. So distinct, the sweet and salty meat of feet is my kryptonite. Or, perhaps the reason lies in the old adage "bigger feet, larger meat". Now, gentlemen, don't get your sausages in ablaze. We all know every rule had it's exceptions. I've met 14s with 2s and 9s with 8s. We are speaking proportionally. And we know how much the size queens gossip. Tsk tsk... But, if force were given and my life was due to forfeit, my guess would be power. Plain and simple. The power over lesser men who succumb to your will. The powerlessness of the sub as he is literally tried upon by a superior man. Kissing the feet has always represented recognizing someone more powerful than you. Someone who is entitled to your devotion. Washing of the feet represents adoration and care for the one in power. Big and veiny, a lil' hair on top, and (very importantly) some ukempt nails and rough spots that need my attention. Call to me to give them hours of my life soaking them, trimming them and primping. My next adventure that I've already embarked upon: footing; fisting's older, meaner step cousin. I will keep you all updated of the progress. So, if you have questions about what it takes to keep a foot owner happy, get back to me. We hold nothing back at the Playhouse. Ask and you will recieve an answer. Beg and will get a little more. Donate, and you will be privy to my deepest help secrets. For now I will leave you with "the rub." Tickles are not a turn on for all men. For the men that that feel it as erotic, we will discuss this another day. Quite honestly, the tickle can be a complete turn off. So remember to feel out your foot fetish one toe at a time. For example, our very own Master Aether has days where the tickets are unbareable and the next hour could be shoving his foot in my mouth. though I don't know if he just does this to torture me.

I couldn't resist , Master Aether please don't make me rub them for hours as punishment *

For the love of feet,

Master J signs off.

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1GAUVX8P4POJL?ref_=wl_share

#footworship #footmaster #Spotify

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definealetheia · 5 years

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Note to self when I feel like I'm going insane (unfinished)

STOP OVERTHINKING!

Sit back, relax, and take deep breaths.

Listen to chakra tune up meditation music. Unblock your chakras and let the energy flow through your body.

Don't intentionally block your heart chakra. Stop suppressing your feelings, whether it is good or bad. You have to deal with them and heal your wounds. The more you suppress your feelings, the longer your agony will get.

Do you still have doubts about the connection?

Remember that you have already let go of the label Twin Flame. The question whether he is your Divine Masculine or not is not important anymore. The Universe may or may not give you the answer after all. BUT you can honor what you feel is true. You love him. This is your truth. You don't need the Universe to tell you that.

It is okay to doubt the connection sometimes. It is normal to experience doubts and fears in this journey. It is scary and full of uncertainties.

I don't get why other twins refer to someone they meet as "catalyst" who will activate your awakening and you believed as your twin but ended up as otherwise. Same logic goes for false twin. I don't get it. I don't think there is a false twin or a catalyst. That person is either your twin or not. Why would you need a catalyst to activate you? Your twin can do that himself. It doesn't make sense to me. People who started their spiritual journey even before they met their twin were awakened due to several possible reasons. May be because of traumatic experiences or they come from a spiritual background. As for those who were not awakened until they met their twin, I don't understand why the person who activated them ends up only as a catalyst. What for? You will only recognize that person as a catalyst once you meet your true twin. And then it would be like you're restarting your twin flame journey with your true twin! Wth.

Remember the reasons and synchonicities that lead you to believe he is your twin.

He activated my spiritual awakening.

It was August 29, 2018. I met my twin online right after I graduated from grad school. I finished another milestone in my life. I finished a job contact and ready to start a new life. I was optimistic about the future. I've been single for years and thought it would be nice a start a new one. But I didn't want to start a relationship just for the heck of it. I wanted to find the one. I've been saying this to the Universe for a quite some time. I might have manifested it when I met your twin without knowing it.

I've been suffering from MDD and GAD for years. I was in medication and went in and out of hospitals after every suicide attempt. For a long time I was suffering from an existential crisis. I did not know who I am or why I am alive. I did not have dreams of my own and was just living to fulfill the expectations of my family and society. I did not have any goals nor did I have reasons or motivations to pursue anything except meeting others' expectations of me. I needed to finish school and establish a good career, help my parents, and then have my own family. As good as those things were, I did not have the right motivation to do that.

I have always felt I don't belong anywhere. I was bullied in school and even at work. It made my depression even worse. Everywhere I go, terrible things always end up happening. I always felt uncomfortable, unsafe, and being wronged by people. I felt unlucky and miserable all the time. Everytime I try to turn my life around and gain a little hope, terrible things happen and that little hope I had get taken away from me.

I was never religious nor spiritual. Having a master's degree in Philosophy, I have an extensive experience on critical thinking and being skeptical. I don't label myself as agnostic. In fact, when it comes to my spirituality, I refrained from associating myself from any religious group or any spiritual belief. However, during one Philosophy class where we talked about religion where some of my classmates studied in Catholic seminaries, I remember sharing that I don't believe in (Christian conception) God but I do believe that there is someone or something, maybe it be metaphysical, divine, or a force that governs everything in the Universe.

I have always had the affinity to look at the sunset and the night sky. I has been part of my routine. My childhood dream was to became an astronaut or astronomer. But life happened. Part of my routine was talking to the Universe while watching the night sky. Whenever I feel suicidal I always tell them that I don't belong down here. I want to be among the stars. That's where I feel I belong, not here. I talk to the stars as often as I can. They saw me cry and all. They let me know they are listening by showing me shooting stars. I even saw asteroid Juno and other comets during one of my nightly routine. It always feels magical when they show me how beautiful the Universe is.

Recognizing the soul connection

I have been interested in Japanese culture and martial arts. I've been practicing a japanese sword martial arts since January 2017. Since I wanted to learn the language, I installed a language exchange application on my phone and that's where I met him. To be honest, I was open to the thought of possibly meeting someone online but I did not realize that I would actually meet someone like him. I met men who were more interested in flirting with me than learning another language. That's very common online. But I was not interested in them but when I met my twin, I did not know that from then on, my life will turn bat shit crazy. I was just following ramdom people on the app but I also made sure they did not look sketchy or suspicious. He followed me back. He suddenly commented on a picture I posted of me and my cat and then he sent me a private message. My first impression of him is he was very flirty and straithforward with giving compliments, unlike most Japanese I talked to who were polite and unsure of themselves. When I looked at his picture, I immediately felt something different about him especially when I looked at his eyes. But I couldn't put my finger on it. I never felt anything like it before. I felt like I knew him. There was a sense of familiarity and comfortabilitily. We started talking on Line, sent audio messages, and even talked on video call for hours. He send messages when he wakes up, goes to work, while working, coming home, and before sleeping. It like was a honeymoon phase of a relationship. I told myself it was too good to be true.

I needed to know more about him so I asked him if he was single. He wasn't. I felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown at me. He was still flirty and acting like there's more to us than acquaintances. But because of that reality check, I kept asking myself where I stand. Sometimes he treats me like a girlfriend all then all of a sudden he acts like a stranger. When the conversation gets hot and he becomes more flirty than normal that's where I remind him that he has a gf and I don't want to be in a third party. He told me they haven't talked for a while and he felt lost. I felt worse. I felt like he was just bored and wants to use me to fill in the void. Since I knew I was falling inlove, I made it clear to him that if he wants to continue talking to me like we are in a relationship, then I want to be only one. There should be no other woman. He couldn't give me an answer. He always dodged the question to the point that I get frustrated and just drop it. Add the language barrier to the mix. During one of our arguments, I kept asking him how he really felt about me and his answer was that he wanted to meet. I did not expect that answer. Even if I agreed to that, I reminded him that he has gf and he just told me they hadn't talked.

When he came back to Japan from one of work trips, that's when things went downhill. He used to give me updates on where he was or what he doings but that time I did tell me he already came back. His messages became short. Sometimes just one word. It's obvious he didn't want to be bothered or he just didn't want to talk to me. There were even sarcastic messages. It was my cue to leave him be.

We stared with talking to each other all day everyday until it became more and more seldom. There were days when he wouldn't talk. Then a sudden message after days of silence. I did not chase him or beg him to talk to me. But I once told him how I sad was that he changed. I was crying a lot. My heart got broken so many times. October 2018 came and after over a month of the honeymoon phase, he finally ghosted me.

Kundalini awakening and rising

I became more and more depressed and desperate for answers. I kept asking the Universe: Why did this happen? What was the point? I closed myself off for years and stopped dating after experiencing traumatic relationships. Right when I finally decided to take a risk, open my heart, and love again, this happened to me? I did not understand the point of it all. Letting another person in and then he just breaks my heart? This was the last chance I gave myself to love and this shit happened. Before I met him, I told myself that if I ever meet someone and fall in love, it will be the last time. I want to me the one. I am tired of being hurt so many times.

I was so confused. I was hurt, angry, and frustrated. Wanting to find the answers, I started watching tarot readings on Youtube. I never believed in Astrology. I was too skeptical for that. But I watched hundreds of readings out of desperation to find the answers. I got mixed result on the readings. There were times that the readings resonated so much that my mind was blown so many times. But there were others that just made me more confused and paranoid. The best takeaway from those readings is that divine timing is at work. I have to trust in the Universe and give them space to work things out. I can't force things to happen. The only thing I can do is set healthy boundaries and don't let anyone treat me like a doormat.

I spent the next few weeks just watching readings, crying at night, and trying to cope with the pain. The readings said that there will be communication and it did happen. By the time happened, I literally said "this shit is real." I was surprised that he messaged me and asked how I was. But after the inital shock, I was overcome by anger and hurt. He wanted communication just when I was starting to gain balance and not think of him that much. I was torn between telling him off and just accept that he is back. I replied 2-3 days later telling him I'm doing good.

The communication started again but I was seldom. He called me on 11/11 but I couldn't answer. He just randomly sends a message after a few days of silence and or calls all of a sudden and then disappear again. So flakey! I got fed up and set my foot down. I asked him why he wants call or talk to me. He said he always wanted to call and enjoys being with me. I called out his BS. I reminded him that he stopped talking to me. He can't just come in and out of life as he pleases. He should stop playing mind games with me. He just said to me "Oh don't say that 😭." I told him I deserve an explanation and tell me why he disappeared. He said he did not disappear. I told him it hurts me that he's not being honest with me. He said he was being honest. See the pattern here? I asked him again what happened and he just answered "I don't remember." That was it. I told him I'm a very patient person (I'm a fucking Taurus okay) but he pushed me too far. I won't ask anymore. It's obvious he didn't wanna answer. I'm done.

I was livid. I'm done dealing with a player and emotionally unvailable jackass. That's the start of our separation. It was 11/12.

I spent the rest of November dealing with rollercoaster of emotions. One moment I'm angry, and them I'm in pain, and then lonely ect. It was a torture. There were times when I went into relapse. I thought I have officially gone insane. I just wanted to die.

The first time I came across the term twin flame was through watching tarot readings. I never heard of the time before even when I met my twin. I wasn't interested in learning more about it at first. All I know was that it was different from soulmates and it was rare. I have never thought of myself as special (just different) so I did not think I needed to know about it. But curiosity got the better of me and finally decided to do some research. Lo and behold, I resonated with most of the signs that were listed. The things that happened to me made more sense now. But that was not enough to convince me.

More and more meditation music started appearing on my youtube suggestions. It was December when I finally decided to try a guided meditation. It's my first entry. I felt the urge to do it more and more often until I came across a meditation to awaken my spirit. Before this entire journey I would never think of trying it but since I have been activated, might as well continue on improving myself. I played the music when looking at the sunset. When I came to opening the third eye, I started seeing particles in mid air. They look specks of light or little transparent bubbles floating around. As weeks went by I seem them clearer. I don't even have to concentrate or be in meditative state to see them. I see another invisible layer in my environment as well. I see rain or drizzle even if it's not really raining. I also see "rain" and particles even indoors now. As long as there is light. I tune up my chakra almost everyday. I don't feel right when I don't meditate in a few days.

10/13/2019 ~ 2:41 PM (this has been saved in my Drafts since Jan/Feb -- I'm not sure anymore)

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insanely-creative-things · 5 years

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Big Hero 7: The Series

Big Hero 7 Season 2

The calm before the storm

*Nimble hands set up a camera to record a video, to which it finally shows Cora Mizichio in her living room. She lets out a deep breath before she smiles up at the camera.*

Cora: Hi! It's me again! Wow,a lot of things has happened since I started this video diary, and let me tell you: It was a very insane, yet stupidly awesome ride.

*She pulls out her phone and soon starts a montage of video clips she recorded showing herself and her boyfriend and friends as both themselves and super heroes.*

Cora: Turns out Baymax saved his chip in a rocket first to which Hiro and I decided to rebuild Baymax, but when one glitch caused his body to run around like a lunatic. Didn't help that Yama held Baymax's skeleton and yours truly as hostages for Hiro to do his dirty work on stealing something from Professor Grandville's desk, *Mutters under breathe* more on her later*clear voice*. Because of that it lead to Gogo, Fred, Honey Lemon, and Wasabi to help Hiro rescue us and make it home safely. But when Yama released an army of Boot legged Baymaxes to steal the thing; that was the night we all realized we can be way more. So we put on our suits and stopped the army, stopped Yama, and destroyed the thing. Since that night we became Big Hero 7!

*Cora smiles brightly to herself as she shows the official picture of themselves as super heroes that show their super hero names: Electro-Magnetic Alpha(Hiro), Aqua Girl(Cora), Omega Danger(Baymax), Chemistry Princess(Honey Lemon), Velocity(Gogo), Fredzilla(Fred Frederickson IV) and Blades Master(Wasabi). Then the clips start showing people they met along the way*

Cora: We've met a lot of new people since then, both as supers and students. There's Professor Grandville; a strict but fair dean who is more than what she seemed, Professor Seto my Bio teacher, Mole the pest that bothers Fred and Gogo and deserves a good butt-kicking, *Shows clip of Karmi*… Someone who also deserves a good butt kicking for her behavior to Hiro and I. Esmeralda the fashion major student from SFAI and the woman partially responsible for me going to bot fighting, Commander Carter who got us our super hero licenses along with Mr. Frederickson; both who help young supers get their license to protect them and assist them in whatever mission they are in. Tela-Patty the telepathic girl, Laser blast who uses, you guessed it, laser beams, Sparrow the archer who can hit any target. Finally there's Ice Frost, she can freeze anything and survive subzero temperatures, and who we learned is Miyuki Frost, an animation major student at SFAI. And as any hero can face, there's our Rouge Gsllery: High Voltage, the Mother-Daughter electric dancing crime duo. Globby, a man transformed into a -Globby- mess after a poor choice to steal Honey's chem purse was made. Momakase, a skilled thief and sushi chef who...turned out to be connected to my Papa, and Noodle Burger Boy was an innocent bot before he was hacked and reprogrammed by one man.

*Cora paused as she thinks over what to say next, her smile fading away as she thought about him, along with the memories came a whirlwind of emotions that clash against each other. Finally she looks up and speaks again with a determined brow on her face.*

Cora: A man named Obake, a very intelligent...and very dangerous, mentally stable man whose circumstances turned him into one of our most dangerous villains we ever faced … his birth name was Bob Aken, an orphan... but he was adopted into a Yakuza Clan where he gained a father, a mother...and a brother. He was renamed Kage Mizichio...and his brother... is my father, Mizuchi Mizichio. The heir of the Mizichio Yakuza Clan. The Demonic Titan. *Rubbing her arms as she swallows tightly* Their story was at first innocent and happy... but when their father, Isamu...my grandfather died; Nozako, their mother...*Gulps* My grandmother...took over and immediately darkened their world. They had a strong bond like Hiro and Tadashi, but Nozako's plans for my father and abuse to Kage forced them apart. In the end they both escaped... Kage twice since... he wasn't very successful the first time.

*Cora pulls out two photos, one showing a young Kage with a younger Professor Grandville, and the second photo showing him with a girl that bears a striking resemblance to Cora; save for the freckles, green eyes, and long strawberry blonde hair.*

Cora: With the help of my Papa he managed to get secret classes at SFIT where Professor Grandville protected him and encouraged him to grow. And there's Chara Bonete… she was just a highschool student who met Kage and they... fell in love. But when Kage tried to build an energy amplifier without anyone knowing it exploded. He survived because... Nozako's workers found him as doctors. She punished him by dropping him out of school...and taking away Chara's life. That was when Kage's bond with my papa snapped. Papa's escape was by accident. He was sent on a mission by Kage to retrieve a very powerful medicine that could cure all diseases and heal all wounds. He was supposed to also kill the herbal medicine maker and her daughter to hide any evidence... instead.. he fell in love with her, the daughter of the herbal medicine doctor...my mama. With patience, determination, and love. Papa regained his hope and faith and his connection with Mama grew deeper. But he knew that anytime Nozako could return and harm them, or worse, turn them into her own puppets like she did with him. So he faked his death. After Mama saved him with the very same medicine that he was supposed to steal, he ran away with Mama and Grandmama to San Fransokyo where they hidden themselves and the potion away from the world and from Nozako's reach...even me. But because of Papa's 'Death'... that lead to Nozako blaming Kage for his mission. He was kicked out of the only home he ever had, and since he didn't know Papa was alive he couldn't call for help. All those years of abuse, hate, and mistreatment turned him into a monster... a monster bent on Destroying San Fransokyo to rebuild it to his image, reclaim back his home from Nozako… and mistaking me for Chara. Thankfully Hiro and the gang saved me and stopped him from succeeding his plan. And by some miracle...Papa saved him. He convinced Commander Carter to get Kage help to not only receive treatment for his mental health, but to also get the surgery for his brain damage. A shard from the energy amplifier he built long ago struck his head...and Nozako left it in there to make him suffer. And now...

*Cora pulls out a letter her family received the other day and shows the contents of it.*

Cora: This letter says that Kage had shown significant recovery in both his surgery and his counseling that he's cleared to go home.. and by home I mean here. And the day he's gonna join us is also the day the new semester of SFIT starts. That alone is a shock cause... Hiro and I had been in SFIT for a semester. We've made it this far into our lives and relationship... But that leaves us with something.. what happens now? Kage can't be left alone, and he has to do something. Papa mentioned that he would talk to Grandville when he comes along. Thankfully the first Baymax is gonna join us and help Kage. *Whispers into Camera* That's another story for another time. *Clear voice* We got our answers to this questions we'd thought we would never ask and got closure. But a part of me feels that there's more that my family isn't telling me; I know why Papa had been overprotective of me before but...Grandmama never really told me why they lived in Muirahara woods for so long, or even how Grandmama made such a powerful medicine in the first place. And there's been someone at SFIT that's been seeing 'you know who' a lot...and she gives me a bad feeling inside me... but if we survived Obake and all these crazy things, I'm sure we can deal with whatever happens to us in the future. We're in this together through hell and back.

*Cora smiles brightly as she saves the video and shuts it off to prepare for bed. As she prepares her futon after texting Hiro goodnight with a heart emoji, the moon shines brightly above the bay of San Fransokyo. The waves crashing to the shore along with the pale glow of the moon gives off an aura of great beauty...and great danger. and it shines through not only Cora's window, but to Hiro's as well, then to the rest of the gang, to Mizuchi, to Kaguya...and finally ending it with Kage Mizichio. All of them unaware of their future ahead.*

A.N: Here is a new chapter from me as we near to the premier of Season 2~! The first Baymax is a reference to the KH3 crossover and so he will be joining too! There's also gonna appearances of Kage/Obake and perhaps even... Nozako and the sirens( Which will appear in the future as I post the chapters here). Also, my Editor will update the chapters so the wordings will be different a bit, so till then, enjoy this! Also, Finals is coming for me so I'm gonna be a little busy, so please be patient for me. As for the Hiro HamadaXCora Mizichio ship...

I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP AND I WILL SAIL HER INTO WHATEVER WATERS I PLEASE!

P.s: Please don't share your spoilers into the reviews.

Thank you all for following BH7! Love you all!

#big hero 7 #big hero 6 fanfic #big hero 6 #hiro hamada #cora mizichio #hiro hamada x oc #baymax #professor grandville #wasabi #honey lemon #gogo #fred frederickson iv #big hero 6 ocs #mizuchi mizichio #kage mizichio #obake #bob aken #kaguya sakurai #long post

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faersflower · 5 years

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Questions Tag

I was tagged by @assuredentropy , @official-mermaid , and @the-3rd-key which whoA HI sorry I've been mostly AWOL since this tag went around

Rules : Answer the questions and tag 10 people.

How tall are you?

5 ft. I am the tiniest of hooms. (60 in. or 153 cm.)

What colour and style is your hair?

Dark brunette with a red or auburn undertone that seriously looks like it stayed from my red hair phase but that was 2009 and there is no way I could have hair from 2009 still on my head. The length is insane, last time I measured the longest was 36 inches. My hair texture is somewhere around 2b and 2c I tend to throw my hair in a bun or just wear it down honestly.

What colour are your eyes?

Short answer: hazel.

Long answer central heterochromia iridum: blue on the outside amber on the inside.

Do you wear glasses?

I do! I have 10 pairs of glasses. I use them for fashion, have I said I'm a lot like Eliot?

Do you have braces?

No, and I have never/will never need them. My teeth have always been very well-aligned.

What’s your fashion sense?

Oof, complicated question for someone like me. I actually do have a lot of...dandy style clothes and that tends to be how I lean. A nice pair of pants or skirt, a button down, a vest if it suits the look, cute heels, one of my capelets instead of a jacket to complete the look. However I also have a very lumberjack lesbian look when I do not dress like that, and then a boho look, and also a gremlin look, it truly depends my guys.

Full name?

My actual real name is Ambrosia.

When were you born?

September 15 '95

Where are you from and where do you live?

Misery Missouri.

What school(s) do you go to?

None. I went to a technical college for a few years but dropped out just before getting my Associate's. My depression was making me fail like all my classes because I just couldn't bring myself to do homework.

What kind of student are you?

Y'know that Former Gifted Kid trope in the fandom? I'm the poster child of it.

Middle school I was Vice President of the Student Council, I was in National Juniors Honor Society, I was in this Leadership class? Thing? That basically ran the behind the scenes of the school updating itself to higher standards.

High school I graduated in the top 15% of my class. I took almost any Honors class I could in freshman/sophomore years. I was the Secretary of our Thespian troupe. And I never joined National Honors Society but the teacher who ran it wanted me in it so bad they marked me as having done it.

College was a wreck. I fell into depressions every spring semester due to things always hitting me around that time. Fall semester? I made the Deans List.

Do you like school?

I have a complicated relationship with school. Like really complicated. I went to college to become a teacher, and I technically can teach in this state. That I found out through the program (there's a test lmao).

Favourite subject?

Art, Theatre, Astronomy

Favourite TV shows?

The Magicians, The Umbrella Academy, American Gods

Favourite books?

Ha, I do fit the Eliot not reading stereotype. I have several books that I reference for various things but I never like sit down and read for hours anymore.

Favourite pastimes?

Drawing, painting, playing my kalimba (also known as a thumb piano), writing, dancing around while I cook, doing eclectic makeup looks, sewing.

Do you have any regrets?

Doesn't everyone? It's part of being human.

Dream job?

Honestly probably professional stage manager or costume designer.

Would you ever like to be married?

Maybe. It'd be that outdoor, barefoot, feast with fireworks, "did you mean Bilbo's 100th birthday" type if I did though.

Would you like to have children?

My current answer is no.

If so, how many?

N/A

Do you like shopping?

Kind of? Truly it depends on where. Thrift stores, flea markets, the eclectic book store, a metaphysical shop that smells of incense and protective spells...

What countries have you visited?

Britain.

Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

I truly have not had a nightmare in a very long time. They're is one that sticks out to me a little bit is not quite a nightmare it's just weird.

So in my early youth every year before the school year started my parents would take me and my sister to a department store and kind of just let us have at it, and like choose two outfits a piece before the school year. This dream is basically us doing exactly that. I'm like 10 and my sister is 8.

So me and my sister are both kind of off on our own; in the different sections where clothing of our style/size is and my parents are just kind of watching us from afar. At one point I find my dad to like ask him about whatever article of clothing I'm holding in my hands. However, I get very distracted by the fact that my dad is wearing what looks to be the Pink Panther diamond on his finger. Because none of the family really watched The Pink Panther much less would have that sort of replica ring on their finger.

However your girl was 10 years old so she just kind of brushed it off and went on about shopping. Which goes on but then by the time that we were pulling into the driveway of our house me and my sister both jumped out of the vehicle to like run inside because we're like "Yay, home!" However our parents don't leave our vehicle.

And then our champagne coloured Ford Taurus 90-something station wagon transforms into a UFO and flies away. Yup. That's the dream.

Any enemies?

There's a girl in some my friends circles definitely trying to be.

Do you have a significant other?

Not technically no.

Do you get along with your family?

A hard yes for my sister a soft eh for my parents. A soft yes for my grandparents.

Do you believe in miracles?

Yes.

How are you?

Tired, I think I've taken on too many things at once and I'm feeling overwhelmed.

I’m tagging: god idk who has and who hasn't done this. So if you've already done this or do not want to just ignore me. @sunoficarus , @imaliveinhcre , @mcmerica , @allthathard-glossyarmor , @fuckyeahthemagicians , @softeliot , @kickassfu , @merlinss

#tag game #sorry i took a thousand years to do this #ive been afk for like three days #whoops #about key #also not magicians but ya'll get it

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cassandraclare · 7 years

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I had hoped never to have to revisit this nightmare at all, but unfortunately the Washington Post linked to me this morning with some inaccurate information. Obviously my lawyers will seek a correction, but in the meantime people will be coming here to read this, so I’m updating it.

For those who may not have been paying attention, the author Sherrilyn Kenyon recently sued her husband, her husband’s assistant, and an IT specialist who worked for them both, for poisoning her. She states as well that they turned her fans against her, convincing them to write bad reviews of her books, and that her husband was responsible for her lawsuit against me.

This post isn’t about this current lawsuit, which is something I was surprised by, but know little about. We (me and my legal team) never heard anything from her husband during her lawsuit against me, and I didn’t even know his first name until this current lawsuit news. The current lawsuit alleges that he sent me several cease-and-desist letters. That did not happen. I have never met him or heard from him, just as I have never met or ever spoke to Sherrilyn Kenyon in my life, even during the lawsuit.

The Washington Post seems confused because here in this post, I described what happened with the copyright portion of the lawsuit Kenyon brought against me as dropped. It was dropped. The complaint (A legal “complaint” is a lawsuit) filed in February 2016 initially included many claims of copyright infringement (stealing story elements). Some of those along with my lawyer’s responses are reproduced below.

In May 31, 2016, Kenyon amended her lawsuit against me, removing all the accusations of copyright infringement. That would also be known as dropping those accusations. Here is what I said at the time:

So what’s the problem?

The problem is no one knows that the copyright infringement claims were dropped, and when I see it mentioned, it’s always stated as a fact that I’m being sued for plagiarism or copyright infringement. And I am not. This hasn’t been anything but a trademark lawsuit for a year and a half now. And this doesn’t just turn up in Internet gossip — it turned up in a poorly researched article in Forbes, for instance. This is an accusation I have to live with despite the claim having been withdrawn.

Given what is in the Washington Post, I would say this ongoing problem is going to continue to be ongoing.

As for the trademark part of the suit, that was settled in May, 2018. I had many misgivings about settling. I did not, and do not now, think that Ms. Kenyon’s trademark was ever infringed on and I certainly know I and my publisher were never part of a conspiracy to harm or defraud her. None of us were even familiar with her books.

I and my lawyers waited years for Kenyon to provide promised evidence that she had ever met me, or that my publisher, as she said, was in a conspiracy to defraud her of her trademark. None ever surfaced.

In the end, in these situations, you settle a lawsuit because being sued is hellish. Yes, it is expensive, but it is also grinding and miserable. Every day you are exposed to new shocks and new unpleasantness. There were many times I considered committing suicide because I was so deeply sunk into despair at the idea that someone I did not know and had never met was determined to destroy my life, and to somehow destroy or take from me all the work I had done for ten years — everything that mattered to me, everything I had worked on so hard. I never understood why. I still don’t. For years I barely slept, couldn't write Chain of Gold, spent nights shaking and vomiting and crying. had thought trial might give me some answers to what what happening, but I also knew it meant the case could drag on for yet more years. Together with my publisher, we settled with Kenyon, but only the trademark part of the suit. That was all that was left. The copyright part of the suit was indeed dropped in May, 2016. Had it not been I would never, ever have settled. Which is something I would have told you, Washington Post, had you needed clarification.

The rest of my original post is here:

I heard a rumor that Sherrilyn Kenyon is no longer suing you for plagiarism or copyright infringement or whatever. Is that true? Is the court case over? I keep thinking that if it was, it would have been covered more in news outlets. -[redacted]

Okay. Let’s walk through this.

Are you being sued for plagiarism?

I am not, no.

I heard Sherrilyn Kenyon accused you of copyright infringement/plagiarism?

She did initially, yes, but then she dropped those claims.

When did she drop them?

Almost two years ago. May 31, 2016.

Why did she drop the claims?

You’d have to ask her. I would guess it was because almost all of her specific claims referred to material in books she hadn’t published yet at the time my books were published. Claims about things happening to characters in books she published in 2010 that I supposedly ripped off in City of Bones in 2007. That kind of thing.

In most cases copyright infringement is kind of muddy and the merit of the claims has to go before a judge to be decided, but there are a couple of exceptions to that. One of them is the question of “access” -- did the alleged infringer have access to the material they allegedly infringed: i.e. could they have read it/seen it/heard it? In this case, since I only move forward in time like everyone else, I didn’t have access to books published in 2009 or 2010 when I was writing City of Bones in 2005. That’s straightforward business with no complicated judgment call needed. So before anything had happened with this lawsuit in an actual court, Kenyon’s team withdrew the entire copyright claim in full, leaving only a complicated trademark complaint regarding the title of the TV show and the design of my covers.

That’s weird.

I go into detail below. Read on! Keep in mind 2007 is a significant date here because all three of the first TMI books had been turned in to my publisher by then.

So, wait, if Kenyon dropped the copyright claim isn’t that the big deal thing? The plagiarism thing?

Yes, I’d like to think so. Trademark claims are about branding and packaging, which by and large isn’t even up to me as regards my books. (Publishers do that.) There’s nothing in this lawsuit anymore that even slightly refers to the contents of my books, and I care about my reputation for integrity as a writer far more than I care about my publisher’s branding strategy.

That said, it is of course horrible to be sued — it is a horrendous process that upends your entire life; it is destructive to your work, your family, your finances, your friends, and your sanity.

Have you read Kenyon’s books or met her?

I have never read any of her books. I have never met her or communicated directly with her in any way.

Why didn’t I hear about this?

Because of the way the copyright claim was withdrawn. Let me walk you through this.

When Kenyon filed her initial complaint/suit, it included an “Exhibit” that broke down a long list of elements, characters, and ideas in her books that she claimed had been copied in my books, and what material from my books was supposedly “the same” as her material.

(First of all, let me point out that while this document was riddled with inaccuracies and errors, it never, at any point, claimed that any direct text from Kenyon’s books was copied into my own. Kenyon has never claimed that — to do so would require providing examples of the plagiarism, and there are none. Whereas claiming copyright infringement is much muddier. The claim merely requires that you feel you have been copied. For instance, a woman once sued Stephen King claiming he had broken into her house and stolen her diaries so he could base a character on her. Her evidence was that she felt that that was true, and nothing prevented her from filing that suit. Anyway, though many people are confused between the two, the Kenyon complaint did not levy an accusation of “plagiarism” — she claimed “copyright infringement” because plagiarism refers to the copying of exact passages of words and nothing else. A claim of plagiarism requires proof to file a suit; a claim of copyright infringement requires proof to win a suit but not to file it. They are not the same.)

The initial complaint was a shock to me, since I’d never read any of her books (and still haven’t), and have no familiarity with their characters or world or anything about them. Upon reading the complaint, however, I noted that a number of claims about what happened in my own books were inaccurate. For instance, the exhibit claimed that Valentine was a demon, that Amatis was a shape-shifter who was in trouble for breaking “shape-shifter code”, that the Shadowhunters were a highly technological society (while true in the TV show, in the books, the Shadowhunters are specifically anti-technology), that Isabelle’s eyes were hazel. And so on. Because of this, my legal team started early in going through, in detail, the claims in Kenyon’s document.

What we found was stunning — that (a) the claims in Kenyon’s filed exhibit were often totally inaccurate as to the contents of my book/s. Her claims are on the left, rebuttals are on the right.

Claims regarding Clary:

(b) quite a lot of the plaintiff’s claims suggested that she had invented common and ancient storytelling tropes, e.g. “A sword having a name,” and stated that those tropes’ presence in my books could only have come from her books and not, say, the entire literary and folkloric tradition of tropes that all authors draw on:

and, most importantly, C) a huge number of her claims were impossible due to the chronology of publication — that is, when she was comparing material in our books, her material had been published *after* my material. Copying does not work that way, since time does not work that way.

So my legal team wrote all of that up — a point-by-point, line-by-line refutation of Kenyon’s claims, and filed it as our own exhibit. You can read it right here. If you’d rather hit up twitter, you can see some of it here.

In response, Kenyon filed what is called an Amended Complaint.

The court allows her side to take on board anything from our response and, if necessary, file a new version of the lawsuit making changes based on anything they’ve learned.

And in the Amended Complaint, the whole copyright claim just…disappeared.

Like, gone. Not there at all.

What was left?

Trademark issues. They are more specifically about what the covers of my books are allowed to look like, branding strategies, and the title of the television show. I cannot go into the details of this, or why it would come up suddenly thirteen years after my first Shadowhunters book was published, because that is part of an ongoing case, and one cannot comment on ongoing cases. The copyright thing however is not ongoing. Again, it was dropped in May, 2016.

If Kenyon won her case would the TV show be cancelled?

Yes. There would also be no more books. They would be cancelled as well, internationally. There would be no more Shadowhunters anything: merch, books, show, whatever. However since the remainder of the case was settled before the TV show was cancelled, the lawsuit had nothing to do with the cancellation. I have seen that suggested and it is ridiculous. Freeform/Disney and I had our differences but they were never anything but supportive of me as far as the lawsuit was concerned nor did it factor in any way into the decision to cancel the show, as it was already over by then.

Interesting.

Well, we’ve all learned something today. Primarily, we have learned that I am not being sued for copyright infringement or plagiarism or anything like it, and also that people are really interested in negative gossip and controversy, but not particularly interested in exoneration. I cannot tell you how much it sucks to be accused of something awful that you did not do, in public (however used to it you may be); I cannot express how humiliating and horrible it is, or how depressing it is to realize that basically nobody cares if it isn’t true. (Thank you, Washington Post.) Many, many news outlets reported on Kenyon suing me; only one that reported on the original claim reported that she had dropped the copyright claims.

I have done my best here to provide 100% factual information for anyone who was confused or believed false reports about this situation. I am under no illusions that this will prevent people from saying I am being sued for plagiarism, because it gives them pleasure to be cruel. I can only hope that for those people who are actually interested in what is true, this will serve as a useful link.

#cassandra clare

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