#upside is that i had the good sense to nap at a village like.. a village back so i'm pretty close to my stuff

[keeps-ache]

traveled 14000+ blocks only to be ended by a drowned. i really hate this pattern hbhfbsh

[roscgcld]

GOJOTWINS!AU || greatest gift

request: I have a request for the twin-sided-with-Geto AU if you're up for it (as angsty or as fluffy as you like)? As a last request, Y/N twin asks Satoru to look after his niece/nephew. A child that looks just like Geto but with his sister's eyes.

note: hmmm....I was more concerned between if I want to make it angsty or make it fluffy, since this idea was definitely interesting for me to explore. However! This definitely gave me some creative juices! The entire ‘jjk men as parents’ trope is honestly so cute >< I wish Gege showed more scenes of Geto with his two ‘daughters’ - domestic!Geto sounds so fucking hot 😣😣 but writing this also makes me want to write something like ‘the adventures of uncle gojo and his niece’

warning: spoilers for anime-only fans! proceed with caution

pronouns: she/her

gojotwins!au masterlist

“You need to finish your veggies, Rei-chan. You know the rules.”

The young girl that sat before Gojo pouts softly, crossing her tiny arms over her chest as she turns her puppy eyes up at the older man. Gojo looks down at the pouting girl, his own oceanic blue eyes were shining behind the darkly tinted sunglasses as the young girl - Rei, as she was named - tried to use her puppy eyes to get out form eating all the ‘tiny trees’ that sat on her bear themed child plate. 

From the outside you would assume that Gojo was probably just babysitting the toddler; the man is wearing an odd uniform in Japanese norms, but it is still certain that he is in school. And from the looks of things, he is definitely a young adult - no older than a college student, despite how good looking he was. And they were right to some extend; the young girl, besides the eyes, does not look like Gojo Satoru at all. 

But Gojo and Rei definitely shared a unique relationship than your average ‘babysitter and child’ one. “Come on, bunny - you gotta eat all the greens if you wanna grow big and strong like your daddy.”

At the mention of her father, Rei perked up immediately; yet immediately deflated at the sight of the broccoli that was held out to her by Gojo once more. Rei lets out a soft whine and a huff, yet she reluctantly leaned forward before she ate the broccoli; making a face at the taste of it on her tongue. “Not a fan, huh?”

“The tiny tree taste bad..,” Rei mumbles quietly as she finishes chewing her mouthful of broccoli, pulling another face that has Gojo chuckling quietly as he grabbed a napkin from the napkin dispenser to clean Rei’s chubby cheeks. “I know they do, bunny. But you gotta eat them to make sure you grow strong, right? You wanna be a sorcerer like me one day, don’t you?”

Geto Rei was not your average child; born with Gojo blood flowing through her veins, she is the ‘love child’ of Gojo Y/N and Geto Suguru; Gojo Satoru’s twin sister and her boyfriend. When Geto first went ‘rogue’ and kill the village he was sent to, Y/N had found out that she was pregnant with his child. She was sure it was his, since Y/N and him have been dating for about a year up to this point. There was no denying who the father was. And that terrified her; she was worried that the elders will do something bad to the child that was growing inside of her. 

Even if she is one of the strongest sorcerers of the century, she is still a woman first - and women who are to have kids outside of marriage, and with someone who isn’t approved by the elders of the clan, are just asking for trouble. And whilst she was sure she can take on whatever the elders will put her through, the thought of her unborn child having to deal with the leftover anger from her parents’ actions, to be brought up in a world where others would shun the little bean, was too much to bear. 

So, even with Gojo’s pleas for her to stay, Y/N had packed up and left without a trace for others to find her. Yet Gojo was certain she had upped and left so she can spend her ‘future’ with her boyfriend, even if she knows that their love story will only end in tragedy. So you couldn’t believe Gojo’s shock when he opened the door of his apartment one random night, having been roused from his slumber in the early mornings; only to find a baby sleeping peacefully in blankets placed at his doorstep. 

Pinned to the front of the baby’s blanket was a simple letter addressed to him, and immediately Gojo knew what the content of it was. There was no denying who the young baby, who Gojo found out was a baby girl, was either. Because in the morning, when the little youngster finally opened her eyes, were a pair of his very own Six Eyes staring up at him curiously as a thick and fluffy head of black hair surrounding her.

“Dear God...wait until ma and pa find out about this...”

That is how Gojo found himself today; third year college student quietly coaxing the young toddler to eat her veggies as they waited at a café for another two kids he had ‘adopted’ to get off from preschool. He was honestly questioning everything he is doing with his life right now. “Since you’ve been a good girl...maybe later, when ‘Gumi-nee and ‘Miki-nii come over, we order some ice cream~”

Just the mention of the frozen treat had the little girl perking up in excitement, causing Gojo to laugh as he gently rests a hand on her head; already being able to sense the waves of excitement that is coming from Rei. “But in exchange, you have to finish your veggies,” Gojo continues as he gestures towards the child plate before Rei; which held a few pieces of veggies from the small salad that came with her meal.

So that was how the Fushiguros found the two in the café, having grabbed some lunch whilst they waited for the two to get off from school. Rei, who looked over when the café doors were pushed open, perked up at the sight of the familiar duo walking towards them. Gojo just grinned and picked her out of her babychair before he sets her down on the ground, watching in amusement as Rei ran towards Megumi and Tsumiki on her chubby little feet.

Megumi, who was her target today, paused before he bends down to catch her as she stumbled into him; scowling over at the smirking Gojo who was still seated at the table. “Don’t worry Megumi-kun. I was 100% sure that you were going to catch her~,” Gojo called back teasingly, his grin only widening at Megumi’s annoyance as the young shikigami user made his way towards the table where Gojo was seated at once more. “Turn that frown upside down, Megumi-kun - try to be like Tsumiki-chan more, she’s super cute.”

Megumi just rolled his eyes as he settles down in a free seat, letting Rei cuddle up into the younger male whilst Tsumiki giggles at Gojo; who had reached over to playfully tug at her cheek. Soon though Gojo gestures for the two kids to order what they want for lunch before they go home; a habit of theirs now since Gojo cannot for the life of him cook. 

The one time he tried cooking...well...lets just say the kids have since begged for him to never attempt cooking ever again. 

Hence why, after a brief lunch and a brief visit to the grocery store, the four of them made their way back towards Gojo’s home. He had long since moved out from the apartment that he rented in the beginning, understanding how important it is for Megumi and Tsumiki to have their own private spaces to retire to after a long they. Because after all that they’ve been through and are going to be going through in the future as people touched by the jujutsu world, they are still growing kids first. So Gojo had invested in a nice home close that is close to the college, yet not too far away from the city where the kids might feel cut off from their friends on the outside. 

“Alright, time to get you into the shower,” Gojo grins at a giggling Rei, who he had set in her baby seat as he puts away the groceries; Tsumiki had offered to make some katsudon for everyone for dinner tonight. Hence the brief stop at the grocery store. Since it was still little early into the afternoon, the two Fushiguro children retired in their rooms to unwind and catch up with homework before preparing for diner. So for now, Gojo and Rei were alone once more. “Gotta make sure you’re cleaned up before your nap~”

Rei just giggles and smiles over at the older man, reaching her arms up so the man can carefully picked her up as he made his way towards his bedroom. It was a normal routine for him to give Rei a shower after coming home from the outside, worried that she was going to be carrying dirt and germs into her bed before she is laid down for her nap. So Gojo carefully filled the baby tub he set out inside his shower stall before he carefully filled it with warm water and bubbles; making sure the water was warm enough before he carefully strips Rei and sets her in the warm bath. 

Many people have questioned him before as to why he was taking care of her like she was his own child. Even though she is her niece, her parents are Curse Users; they defected from the jujutsu world in order to live in a life of crime. Or more so Y/N leaving behind her family and friends for something as feeble as her ‘love’ for Geto Suguru. Many people call her delusional, stupid, naïve - no one can picture just what was it that made her choose between the life on the run with Geto, for the luxurious life that the Gojo estate has, and still would, provide to her. Even after Rei was born.

However, to Gojo, he just knew she saw it differently. 

If there was one person who he can rely on completely, without having to fear of judgement, it was definitely Y/N. She was his twin sister, someone who ‘cursed’ with the same power as he was, and knows all the struggles and stress that comes with being ‘the strongest’. When she had found out she was pregnant, she was terrified - running into his room in the middle of the night with the positive pregnancy test in hand. She was scared shitless with the entire idea that she was going to be a teen mum alone.

And no matter how much Gojo had tried to reassure her that if Geto was here, he would be ecstatic with the idea that he was going to be a father, Y/N was inconsolable. She was terrified at the idea that not only would the baby will not have a father, they might even have to suffer through the stigma of having a parent that was a murderer in their world. Y/N was also going through it as well; it was clear as day that Geto was the last thing that was truly keeping Y/N sane. Although Gojo and her had a special bond, it was like Geto was that extra support that made sure both of the Gojo siblings were still staying strong. 

Maybe it was the stress of the idea that she was going to be called out by the elders of the clan, or her parents might be disappointed in her, or maybe the idea that she was going to be a teen parent itself officially cracked her. Gojo, to this day, isn’t 100% sure as to why Y/N chose to do what she did; chose to stay with Geto even though she knows that it will bring more stigma onto her daughter after she was born. 

At one point even Gojo had admitted to himself that she was naïve and selfish for choosing what she did instead of facing the brief music that will come from the adults in her life.

But as he playfully makes animal noises at a giggling Rei, Gojo hopes that Y/N rest easy knowing how many people loves Rei. How Shoko, Mei Mei, and even Utahime had essentially dubbed themselves as Rei’s godmothers and spoil her even more than he does; and that is saying a lot. Sure, the elders were not as welcoming to Rei, even more so because she was not carry the Gojo name on top of the fact that her parents were not married when they had her, were definitely not helping her case.

However, Rei was special. She was born her with her mother and uncle’s Six Eyes; and it was because of this that the elders have yet to officially cut Rei off from her surviving biological family. 

Whilst he was thinking back about everything, Gojo’s body went on autopilot as he bathe, dried, and dressed Rei like usual. He kept her occupied to the best of his abilities, but from the trip they had earlier today plus the grocery store trip, Rei was already nodding off when Gojo was blow drying her soft black hair. This caused him to smile as he carefully gathered the little girl in his arms, letting her curl up against his chest as he made his way towards his messy study desk. 

Even if he is a sorcerer and taking care of 3 young kids, he still needs to do mundane things like homework before he can fully graduate from Jujutsu Tech. And as much as he wants to just cuddle Rei and sleep as well - he’s been putting off this essay for about 3 days now. And its due date is tomorrow; so he has to get cracking on this essay if he wants to be eligible for the final exam this year.

“I wish I can live as carefree as you do, Rei-chan,” Gojo mumbles quietly to the young girl in his arms, glancing down at her sleeping features as she rests her ear above his heart. It was quite jarring honestly, since the little girl looked like one of his best friends, Geto Suguru. A man who he sometimes wish late into the night that he had made a better effort into reaching out to when they are at their lowest.

Gojo knew that the death of Riko had effected all of them in their own ways; and although Gojo had asked Geto a few times if he was alright, he just wished he tried harder. Maybe if he wasn’t so full of himself, that he tried to spot more of the chances in Geto’s behaviour - just maybe, he might still be here right now. He would be the one who witnessed Rei saying her first words (it was ‘dog’ because of Megumi’s Divine Dogs that he lets out at home), to her standing up on her own for the first time, to her first steps. 

Gojo felt guilty for being the one to witness all of her firsts when her parents should be the one to do that.

“I hope you know just how much your parents love you, bunny,” Gojo mumbles quietly to the sleeping toddler in his arms as he cuddles her closer, his somber eyes watching her tiny back as it rose and fell with each one of her deep breaths. “I know you don’t really understand things now, but I hope you do not grow up resenting your parents for giving you away before you even have a chance to know them. Your mother is a brave woman; she knew what she had to do in order to ensure that you’d get to live a fair and comfortable life.”

Only silence greeted Gojo after his soft admission, yet all that did was make Gojo let out a brief chuckle through his nose. “She may call me a dumbass, but she trusted me enough to know that there was no way I am going to let you fend for yourself in this cruel world,” He hums as he reaches up to stroke her chubby cheek ever so slightly, a soft and fond smile tugging against the corner of his lips at how Rei just cuddled closer to him in her sleep. 

“Because at the end of the day, you’re the greatest gift that has ever been gifted to all of us.”

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform.

[sanne-star]

Don’t Challenge A Promise Between Friends

Kinda sad that this is my first fic here. Well, better write now than never, am I right?

TW: spoilers for Demise, backstabbing, blood, and death/death mention.

An unpleasant aura filled the air as the greyskin entered the Deadquarters as he came back from setting his own trap. He may not have made as many explosive traps as Cub had for the alive hermits, or made any misleading deals as some other greyskins did. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t doing anything useful in regards to Demise.

In fact, he was doing his part of a deal- one he’d made when there weren’t as many greyskins walking the earth as there were now. Disabling traps and what not to get right where he wanted. For when he makes a deal, he does all things necessary to stand by that deal.

So when he entered the meeting room and read that yet another rather cruel trap was set up in the book of secrets, he wasn’t too pleased. The greyskin wasn’t too keen on getting out to disable it, since he had just come back from doing a few errands in his base. But he couldn’t just sleep on it, especially when there wasn’t as many live hermits left in demise as there were greyskins, and a promise on the line of breaking because of this very same trap.

So emptying his inventory of any important valuables, but keeping his trusty sword in its place. In case he ran into a mob trap on the way there of course. He flew out of the Deadquarters and into the portal, heading straight to New Hermitville.

The only thing he could think about was how it all went down, and when it started getting so serious. Ever since Cub demised, almost all the traps afterwards were somehow related to TNT and Cub. And while it was funny at first, seeing the remains of the blown up builds wasn’t that great.

That’s why he went into hiding. To disable traps quietly and stay out of the Vex’s sight while doing so, only going to the Deadquarters to catch up with the others, and see if there were any traps that got in his way plan-wise. He really wasn’t expecting the game to get this dangerous, and the letter warning he got after making that deal wasn’t making things easier either.

And before he knew it, he was in New Hermitville. And the builds around him still roared with life and energy just as they were first created in that build-battle. The dragon on top of Grian’s stacked houses looking over the horizon ready to strike, the dabbing penguins taking a sweet nap to ignore the happenings around the village, and the Scara plant eyeing him with a look of hunger, ready to take another taste of the player in front of it. But he was too occupied with the mission at hand to take a look around the place.

Flying over the Area 77 gates he saw two things that definitely weren’t supposed to be there. A small half-dirt covered obsidian box, with the top open, and his fellow greyskined friend holding a minecart TNT.

He slammed into the ground behind the greyskin with an audible thud in anger, causing the builder to jump a little back in surprise. Looking back at whoever interrupted their moment of peace. “Who’s there? This isn- oh, it’s just you. How’s it going? You gave me quite the scare there!” The perpetrator- revealed to be Grian- gave a warm smile to a very contrasting cold scowl.

The greyskin glared at the TNT minecart in Grian’s hand before clearing his throat to speak. “You do know that log in traps aren’t allowed, right?”

The builder looked quite confused, noticing the tension change he glanced around for a way out. “Um, since when was that a thing? Was that discussed in a meeting? Because I can assure you, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Trying to get out of a possible bad situation through a scared-lie turned out to be successful, in some sense. Because the greyskin before him was taken aback by the response, walking up to the prankster in question with careful steps, with a look of both sympathy and guilt.

Grian could feel himself shrink back in fear as the person in front of him set a gentle hand on his shoulder. Which further deepened the guilt in the other’s eyes as they spoke softly. “Are you scared? It’s alright, I won’t judge you for not knowing.”

Grian felt tears welling up in his eyes, latching into the man’s robe unexpectedly, words flowing out of his month like a waterfall. “I don’t like this game anymore, I’ve been trying to end it ever since Cub died, I’ve been putting traps all over the server but someone keeps breaking them. I’m just- really scared, I keep starting all of these problems all throughout the season and leaving others to fix them. There’s only two people left, please let me fix it this time, let me be a good guy for once, please.” By the end of his rambling he realized he wasn’t looking up anymore, but more so being held in a comforting way as he cried, clutching the robed person tightly as if they were his lifeline.

Grian almost didn’t notice they were walking away from the trap. He almost wanted the man holding him to take him away from this mess, he couldn’t deal with it anymore. All the stress, all the blame, all these fun ideas turned upside down because of him and him only. There’s only so long til you realize you’re just a walking curse to your friends. But he couldn’t, he had to fix this mess, he pushed out of the greyskin’s grip so that Grian could see the trap straight on while the other could just see the builder’s growing curiosity in his eyes.

The dragon bro had so many questions, but only one screamed louder than the rest. “Wait a second, are you helping Doc? But why? It’s not like he helped you-“ A sword swinging at him had almost caught him off guard before blocking it with his own.

“You really think I’d forget everything I’ve been through with him? Of course I’d help him! And if you don’t approve then why not fight it out? Fair and square.” The greyskin’s eyes held a slight glint of light as he swung again, while the other’s still had some tears in it as parried the hit with haste.

Weaving and dodging, the swords kept clashing together.

Grian tried to reason his way out of this situation as adrenaline filled his system. “Why are we fighting?! I know you want this to be over as much as I do! So why can’t you let me be good and end it for once?” He was about to throw an ender pearl far away to recharge, when he noticed that he didn’t have anything on him, he wasn’t even wearing any armor.

Looking at the hooded man he could see a grin starting to spread wider across the man’s face as he ran toward him with a dangerous aura, realizing in horror right as he accidentally blocks the hit with his arm. That the greyskin had taken it all for himself.

All he could do in this shocked state was jump a couple feet back, and clutch his bleeding left arm. There was no backing out of this situation now.

With an unknown anger entering his system. He charged toward the greyskin, slightly grazing their cheek as they just barely dodged the attack.

Slash. Dodge. Block. Repeat.

It went like that for a couple more minutes, it was like a dance sequence at this point. Only really changing after every few swings that hit.

It came to a point where both greyskins were bloodied and at their last three hearts just staring at each other, waiting in anticipation for the other to make their move.

Grian had an abundance of scenarios running in his mind of how this fight would end, many ending in his demise. But he didn’t know what to think when the man in front of him dropped his sword and raised his arms as a sign of surrender. “Alright, alright. I give up, can we talk it out? You wanted to know why I’m protecting Doc, right?”

Completely caught off guard from the sudden change of tension. Grian almost slipped on nothing, accidentally dropping his sword to gain balance. “Uhh.. I guess so, uh sure..?” He wasn’t too sure about this whole thing, but if it meant ending the game quicker, then he’d have to bite the bullet on this one.

The hooded person chuckled with a bittersweet smile. “It’s simple, really.” He looked over his shoulder, Grian following his gaze to the trap he’s yet to finish.

He suddenly feels a burning sensation in his body, looking down to see the blade had been lodged in his stomach. The greyskin’s eyes going cold as he continued, slightly twisting the weapon with every passing second. “One of the players of Demise will suffer a very painful and permanent death.”

The builder’s eyes widened in fear. Permanent death? One of his friends never coming back? Because of this game? This news has ironically brought some devastating memories of his own friends back. “Wait- does that mean-“ His question was cut short as he coughed out blood.

But the hooded person seemed to have already known what he was about to ask, because he chuckled sadly at the failed attempt of a question. “That’s right, it means we might lose either iskall or Doc in this game of ‘trick or treat’.” He frowned, glancing back at Grian’s trap. “It was very difficult to choose who to save, because they’re my friends too. But I’m sure iskall can handle it just fine, he’s been through worse.”

Nothing could describe the amount of emotions Grian was feeling. But the look on his face summed it up quite nicely. He was absolutely terrified.

Especially after hearing the last thing they said. “So, no hard feelings my dude, ‘kay?” Twisting the sword before he even had a chance to respond, Grian was no more.

Grian was slain by Renthedog

The reaper looked at the bloodshed left by his former friend with little to no emotion in his eyes. Maybe this will teach him not to mess with me again.

DocM77 joined the game

Falling to the cold obsidian floor, Doc let out a yelp. Confused and dozed from the sudden change in surroundings. He was sure there was a lava trap waiting for him here, so where did it go?

He didn’t bother with the question as he noticed light was coming in from above him. As though there was some kind of greater being above him, the top half of the obsidian box wasn’t there to begin with. But that raises the question of why, Grian wouldn’t just, remove his own trap, would he? “I guess there’s no other way to find out other than getting out of here..” Doc muttered to himself before climbing out of his prison. Only to see a hooded grey figure standing silently over the grass at the top.

And although they weren’t facing him. The air around them felt familiar in a way, more familiar than Area 77. Somehow drawing him in closer to the hermit. But they didn’t seem to notice his presence, not even giving a reaction to him dropping down from the prison. They were more focused on a spot of darkened grass to pay attention to their surroundings.

Something in Doc suddenly clicked when he heard them let out a low chuckle. “Ren, is that you? Wh.. what happened? Wait, what are you doing here?” A storm of questions danced in his head, confusion and suspicion rising with each new question.

Ren wasn’t startled by the sudden second presence accompanying his own, rather he just turned to look at Doc from the side, revealing the blood that coated his robe. In a very protective but mencing manner to anyone that wasn’t Doc, he answered with an actual smile. “Don’t you remember? I promised I’d protect you.”

Doc was about to ask what he meant when a beep on both their communicators grabbed both of their attention. And while Ren was grinning ever so greatly, Doc couldn’t help but feel his blood go cold at the sight of the message. Something big had gone down between the time he was out and now. Doc couldn’t take his eyes off the message, re-reading it to make sure what he’s seeing is actually there. But that didn’t reassure him in the slightest.

iskall85 was slain by his worst nightmare

[yeenybeanies]

been wanting to write some stuff with nagareth these past few days, so here's him toying with an unfortunate little being ( not necessarily a borrower, but basically the same thing ) 

1455 words

some fearplay and vore-ish themes, but no actual vore

feel free to leave comments in the tags!! thank you!! 

Life is so funny, so interesting. It’s a fickle thing. It’s fragile. Some––perhaps most––would say it’s precious. 

Nagareth is inclined to agree––in his own way. Were it not for the lives in the villages and camps in his territory, he wouldn’t have his own. The thought makes the naga chuckle. 

The sun beams down, its warm rays cascading down Nagareth’s form, giving an iridescent glow to the seemingly endless stretch of black scales. Save for the gentle rustling of leaves in the wind, all seems silent, peaceful––until a loud grumble shatters that peace. Not one second later, there’s a groan to follow––a noise from the naga’s throat, made in annoyed protest to the one from his gut. 

It would appear that he is in need of a meal. Nagareth lifts his head from where it rests on folded arms and opens his mouth, tasting the wind. This section of his territory hasn’t seen its king in quite some time; he needs to track down where the residents live so he can pay them a visit. Wouldn’t that be quite the surprise? 

But that surprise can wait. The sun feels too good on his scales right now. A heavy sigh lifts and drops the long, serpentine body, his head falling once more. He is prepared to nap for at least a few more hours. Hunting is easier at night anyways; sleeping prey is easier to catch. 

For a little while, Nagareth does do as intended: he naps. And he would continue to nap, were it not for a pitter-pattering noise in his ear. Scaled brows furrow, but he doesn’t open his eyes just yet. Breathing stops as he focuses in on the noise––something reminiscent of a mouse. Normally, something of the sort wouldn’t warrant any thought at all, likely wouldn’t even wake the snoozing naga, but this . . . sounds different, sounds more . . . bipedal. The ear nearest the noise twitches and angles itself to hear better, now able to detect soft whispering. 

Well, mice certainly don’t speak, as far as he’s aware. 

Eyes open now slowly, pupils contracting to thin slits as they come into focus on the source of the noice: a small ( impossibly tiny ) . . . human? Or perhaps an elf . . .? In his confusion, Nagareth huffs, which seems to draw the little one’s attention immediately. The fear is evident even on such a miniature frame. It’s almost cute, and it’s definitely amusing. 

“ What have we here then? ”  Lips spread in a toothy grin, only furthering the little one’s terror. It’s not until Nagareth moves though that the being breaks free of their fear paralysis. They bolt, trying to seek cover in the grass, but Nagareth isn’t deterred. A clawed hand covers the space where the little one disappeared and digs into the dirt, uprooting the soil and grass.There’s a moment of silence, a question of whether or not the strange mini-human managed to evade him, but no––he can feel the squirming and struggling amongst the blades in his grip. With a chuckle, Nagareth lifts himself up, belly held high off the ground. That hand shakes just hard enough to jostle free some of the dirt and vegetation, then flips over, palm-up. Fingers uncurl, leaving the tiny morsel exposed, bewildered and disoriented, in the expanse that is Nagareth’s palm. 

“ Why, you’re no bigger than my claw, ”  he muses. Just to prove his point, he lifts his free hand and extends one claw-tipped finger to nudge the little one. Their squeak of terror reaches his ears, higher-pitched than he’s used to, but unmistakable, and no less exhilarating. The way they shrink away from his touch . . . delicious. 

“ Put me down! ”  the little one demands. Despite their best efforts, there’s a quake in their voice. Oh, the poor thing’s just terrified––as one would be in the presence ( let alone the palm ) of a giant serpent like Nagareth. He can’t help but chortle. 

“ And if I don’t? What then, my little morsel? ”  The nickname makes the being stiffen, looking somehow even more horrified. Nagareth’s amusement only continues to grow. He leans in closer, mouth parted to draw air in, gather the being’s scent. It’s most similar to how humans smell, he decides, though it’s not quite the same. What a curious little creature this is. 

When they don’t answer his inquiry, the naga prods their side again, drawing out another tiny squeak. They push––or attempt to push––his offending claw away.

“ Or––or nothing! Just––please! ”  They shuffle backwards until their shoulders graze his curled fingers, trying to put as much distance between themself & Nagareth’s toothy mouth.  “ I’ve done nothing to you! ” 

“ Oh, dear . . . ”  that earns a more genuine laugh, the rumble coming from deep within.  “ If I based my actions on whether or not someone has done anything to me, I would be skin and bones. ”  He winks, a twinkle in his yellow eyes. The little one doesn’t seem to find the humor like he does, though. 

“ Wh–what? Are you going to––going to eat me?! ”  As if the thought hadn’t crossed their mind until now, the little one sinks deeper into panic. He can see the whites in those tiny, tiny eyes. 

“ Now there’s an idea. ”  Fingers curl down over the small form, pinning them down so he can pinch their teeny-tiny leg between two claws on his free hand. The weight is negligible; Nagareth can barely feel them or their squirming as he dangles them upside-down. The little thing screams as he opens his mouth, lips pulled back to show all of his glittering, razor-sharp teeth. 

For a moment, he truly does consider dropping them in. 

But no, he decides against it after a few moments more of scaring them. Jaws close only around air, though he keeps his lips fashioned in a grin. 

“ It would take more energy to swallow you, I think, than I would actually gain from you. ”  Which is to say, while the effort would be minimal, there is truly no point. That hasn’t always stopped Nagareth before, but, this time, the little one has caught him feeling a bit more generous. Life is precious, after all. Right now, at least. 

He flips his hand and releases his hold, letting the little one drop into his palm once more. Tiny vibrations––what he assumes to be a buzzing heartbeat, or perhaps the body as a whole quaking––reach his senses. That surely must have given them quite the fright. 

“ . . . unless you would prefer to become a part of me. ”  It’s a tease, tongue-in-cheek, meant to spook the little one into speaking. 

“ N–n–no! ”  Success. The little one shakes their head vigorously, eyes pleading Nagareth not do do as he says.  “ Please! Please let me go! W–why would––you just said I’m––that I’m useless to you! ”  

“ Oh no, dear, I didn’t say that. ”  He pauses, thoughtful. Is he willing to keep the little one around? . . . no. No, he doesn’t much care to feed anyone other than himself right now. Oh how lucky the being is. 

With a sigh and a shrug, Nagareth lowers himself back to the ground and tips his hand, dumping the little one from his palm. 

“ Count your blessings, my little morsel, ”  he hums, looming over the being.  “ Next time, I may not be so content to ignore my hunger. ”  As if on cue, a low rumble sounds from the serpent’s stomach. He can’t help but grin. The noise sends one last fright through the little one’s body, then they dash off into the grass, stumbling over their own feet. 

Nagareth waits, listening, straining his ears until he can no longer hear the little scurrying. What an interesting encounter this has been––one he won’t soon forget. Never had he heard of, or even considered the possibility of tiny humanoids. Perhaps he’ll run into another one someday, or perhaps even the same one, slim as that chance is. And pray they catch him in an equally good or better mood, else-wise they may become his snack. 

Speaking of . . .. 

Nagareth gives the air one final test, then twists to follow something faint in the wind. Now that he’s awake and alert, the king may as well venture to sate his hunger. Life is precious; Nagareth needs a few to sustain his own for the time being.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #187: The Call of the Mountain Thing!

September, 1979

Still a great title.

And a pretty great cover.

Chthon!Wanda front and center with the Avengers floating upside down lightly napping around her as the sky catches fire.

Shit gonna go down, most probably.

How did we come to this?

Last time: An old man kidnapped Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver by stuffing their souls into some dolls. He was thwarted by the Avengers but the twins decided to go on vacation with the old man anyway on a journey to rediscover their mysterious origins. They traveled to their homeland of Transia, a small country between Romania and Serbia full of quaint villages and angry mobs. Modred, the Wi-Fi Wizard, lured Wanda up the mountain where he shot her in the back twice and enabled his master Chthon to possess her body. Chthon’s first order of business: put on an eviller, sexier outfit.

Meanwhile, Quicksilver fell down a mountain and right into a rich spring of exposition and retcons when he met Bova, the cow-woman midwife who helped birth him. She explained to him what his real backstory was, dropped hints that his real dad was Magneto, and cooked him a hot meal. Upon learning that Wanda is now evil and sexy, Quicksilver rescued Django Maximoff (aforementioned kidnapper and the twins real dad in terms of who actually raised them) from some trees and called the Avengers for help. But alas, Pietro and Django were exploded and then captured by the possessed Wanda.

So that brings us to now.

Which is the Avengers arriving in, or rather over, Transia.

QUINJET!

God. That is a huge windshield.

Anyway, the Avengers have arrived but the weather is still going bonkers and the Quinjet is going crazy too. Although the art doesn’t really reflect this, three engines are out and the instruments are going crazy.

So. Yeah. They’re going to crash.

In the finest tradition of Quinjets.

Cap realizes that they have to bail. Good thing that three of them can fly and one of them has a rocket belt.

Oh yeah, the roster for today is: Captain America, Ms Marvel (subbing in for Wanda), Falcon, Beast, the Wasp, and Wonder Man (subbing in for Iron Man).

We’re not very far into Gyrich’s new government mandated roster and the auxiliary Avengers have already been in more than the people he wanted.

Beast decides to stay on the Quinjet, wrestling the controls to make sure it doesn’t land on anyone.

But Wonder Man decides ‘nah.’ He picks up Beast, slaps his rocket belt on him, and throws him out of the Quinjet.

Because, hey. Wonder Man is indestructible. If anyone is going to stay at the helm of a crashing ship it makes sense for it to be him.

Beast is less than enthused. Mostly because his unfamiliarity with the rocket belt leaves him flying upside in peak comedic fashion.

Anyway, in the Quinjet, Wonder Man wrestles with the controls, having second thoughts about this brave thing he did (and good job, Wonder Man! What with your insecurities and fear of dying!).

Finally, it just becomes impossible to keep the Quinjet airborn anymore so it becomes more earthbound.

With a FWAWHOOMP.

The Avengers watch the crash with Cap basically going ‘welp hope he really was indestructible anyway lets get a move on.’

In fairness, he’s either entirely okay, dead, or incredibly inconvenienced so that’s a 2/3rds chance that there’s no point in checking on him.

Cap tells the Avengers that they’ll head to the village. Its the most likely place for Quicksilver to have placed his call from.

But then Modred shoots Cap in the back.

GODDAMMIT MODRED, ALWAYS WITH THE SHOOTING IN THE BACK

Luckily Cap had his shield and even magical attack must yield but it still knocked him off his feet.

Modred the DICK tells the Avengers that he’s here to fetch them to be disciples of the great Lord Chthon but Cap says nuts to that. And also “Avengers assemble!”

Falcon and Ms Marvel are the closest so they rush Modred first. Modred responds by conjuring up a shower of rocks from the ground which Falcon finds very off-putting.

Falcon: “Wha--? Holy crud! Just when it finally stops rainin’, this dude conjures up a shower of rocks!”

Ms Marvel: “Don’t talk about it, Falcon. Just do your job!”

Falcon: “Swell. For a minute there, I forgot I was the new kid on the block. But maybe I can make an impression on these high-and-mighty Avengers -- by layin’ in the first punch!”

And Falcon has finally thrown a punch as an Avenger! Shame that he now feels that the other Avengers are looking down on him just because Ms Marvel (herself a new kid on the block) snapped at him.

Also shame that Modred completely no-sells the punch. And then uses Leaf Storm against Falcon. Despite it being a grass type move it is Super Effective anyway.

... So basically Modred gestures and a bunch of leaves just clump around Falcon until he falls over and I guess he’s out of the fight. Defeated by leaves. How ignominious his first issues have been.

Meanwhile, elsewhere: Beast was so bad at rocket belt that he actually crashes into a snowbank far away from everyone else.

Which makes me notice. None of the other Avengers wondered where he was! They were about to set off towards the village and Falcon was concerned about Wonder Man who was in the crashed Quinjet but nobody was like ‘shouldn’t Beast have joined us by now?’ or ‘should we wait for Hank McCoy, the best Hank in our lives?’

You’re not the only one going unappreciated, Falcon.

So, Beast crashes into a snowbank and spots something shiny.

Maybe its part of the Quinj-OHNOOOOOOOOPE ITS A SKULL

Its a non-human skull. Looks animalian even. But it was wearing armor. What a puzzlement.

And Beast sits on the side of the mountain thinkering on that puzzlement.

Meanwhile, Modred, the Wi-Fi Wizard, continues to throw rocks.

Cap can block the rocks with his mighty shield and Ms Carol Marvel is good at aerial maneuvering so she’s dodging and weaving through the motion lines towards Modred.

So instead he hits her with lightning.

Yer a jerk, Modred.

I’m a bit surprised that a single lightning bolt took her out though. In the recent Avengers Annual #8 she tanked an electrical attack by Dr. Spectrum and then punched her through the wall.

Then again, a point is made much down the line that for all of Carol Marvel’s ability to absorb and redirect energy, she has trouble with magic.

So. Sure.

Cap thinks to himself, hey, sure Modred took down Falcon and Ms. Marvel like nothing but dangit he’s up against an old war-horse full of guile and stuff.

So he cleverly throws his shield to the side, relying on its mighty boomerang-ish qualities to make Modred yield upside the back of the head.

But magic is bullshit and a tree snags Cap’s shield out of thin air.

So Cap jump kicks Modred right in the wi-fi.

The second good hit on Modred all issue. Falcon got the first. Yay, Falcon!

But just like Cap, the minor thrill of hitting this jerk is quickly eclipsed by what a jerk he is and how much bullshit magic is.

Modred hits Cap with hurricane force winds that create a vacuum so Cap can’t breath and passes out.

Also, the THWIP gesture is magical. I wonder if Spidey knows.

Meanwhile, the crashed Quinjet.

Actually crashed in largely one piece. From the FWAWHOOMP, I assumed the crash site would be worse but Wonder Man did a good job.

Although he’s not exactly thinking ‘any landing you can walk away from.’ He’s actually grousing that the FAA would take away his license if he had one. Which I’m not sure if that’s actually true. Landing a disabled plane in any reasonable shape doesn’t seem like they’d penalize it. Although flying without a license...

Anyway, Wonder Man sees a big ball of light flying towards him but he’s no sooner recognized it as Wanda (or sexy, evil Chthon!Wanda anyway) than she has paralyzed him with magic and carried him away for nefarious reasons.

Back at the Modred and Modred gloats about having defeated all of the Avengers.

Yup. Beat Falcon with leaves, Carol with magical lightning, and Cap with a stiff breeze. With Wonder Man and Quicksilver captured by possessed Wanda and Beast thinkering on a mountain somewhere, that’s every single Avenger yesiree.

And then Wasp blasts Modred unconscious to punish him for forgetting she exists because she can’t punish the narrative or the writers. They remain forever frustratingly out of reach.

Although, She-Hulk becomes her bestie later on. Hook your bestie up with some writer punching, She-Hulk.

Wasp’s own victory is as shortlived as Modred’s as she gets shot in the back by Chthon!Wanda.

We just can’t have nice things.

Chthon!Wanda pink energy floats the defeated Avengers up Wundagore mountain and probably to where that alter was.

An alter seems a good place to do what Chthon!Wanda is getting ready to do.

Step one in conquering the world using the power of the Darkhold is creating a circle of upside-down floaty people.

Step two is doing some expositing. Why should Bova (the cow-woman midwife who delivered both the twins and some amazingly convoluted backstory in previous issues) have all the fun?

Chthon reveals (to Modred who presumably already knows?) that Chthon and his sister were the last of the Earth-Spirits that came before the gods. But while his sister infused her essence in all living things and became Mother Earth (Thor’s mom?), Chthon feared death and fled to a nether plane, leaving behind the Darkhold (scribed in words of FIRE) to provide a gateway for his eventual return.

It was not a plan without some setbacks.

Although the Darkhold is an indestructible tome that was used and miused by various people throughout the years while Chthon bided his time, in the sixth century the Darkhold was found by Morgan le Fey of Arthurian significance.

And obviously a person like Morgan le Fey when confronted with an evil book that was a gateway to a banished spirit on a nether plane would immediately try to summon said banished spirit to serve her.

So. That didn’t go well.

Upon realizing that Chthon was not, in fact, controllable as such, Morgan and co tried to shove Chthon back into the nether plane. They weren’t able to do that but at least they shoved Chthon into a mountain and decided close enough for magical work.

Around this time Magnus, a member of Morgan le Fey’s coterie, decided hey maybe this Darkhold is actually... bad news? And stole it to hide in an enchanted tower where no one with evil intent could enter.

Did you catch the immediate loophole there?

Yeah. Those with benevolent intentions could enter the tower.

Geez. This sounds like a quest in a fantasy story and/or video game. I mean, I guess this is a fantasy story. With high tech knights in a little bit but definitely fantasy. But like... this is a very Skyrim sidequest.

Anyway, Modred (before he was as much of a dick) entered the tower to use the Darkhold for good reasons and “paid for that folly with his soul!”

So I guess Chthon isn’t telling this story to Modred despite him being the only one conscious to listen to it because Chthon referred to Modred as ‘him’ instead of ‘you.’ I guess Chthon is just talking to himself.

Anyway. The Darkhold was later removed from the tower by St. Brenden and again passed through many hands through many years until it landed with Gregor Russoff. Who managed to curse his own name with the Darkhold’s evil.

He was the werewolf that I mentioned in previous posts that killed Jessica Drew’s mom.

Anyway, to fund his new hobby of EVIL, Russoff sold off part of his estate to some scientists, which included Wundagore mountain. Because people can just own mountains. Casually. People can just casually own mountains.

Obviously, one of the buyers was Herberet Wyndham, later to be known as the High Evolutionary.

The scientists found uranium in them thar hills and used that wealth to build Wundagore (the city).

Chthon was pretty confused about all this ‘science’ and ‘genetic abominations that were part man and yet part animal.’ But you don’t have to understand stuff to capitalize on it.

But Chthon wasn’t able to do that either. Magnus, the renegade tower building ex-follower of Morgan le Fey, ended up as a colleague of the High Evolutionary and taught the New Men chivalry, which rendered them unsuitable for Chthon’s purposes.

Chthon attacked Wundagore anyway, through his host the Other, but ended up vanquished “by the combined might of sixth century sorcery and twentieth century science.” And also by animal-people in armor, riding ‘atomic steeds.’

Which is. I mean. A giant screaming demon face fought with magic, technology, and the Knights of Wundagore.

That’s a prime contender for a ‘greatest story scarcely told’ moment.

These events do seem to get fleshed out a little bit more but only in the far off year 1988 in an X-Men annual during the Evolutionary War.

But even in defeat (by animal-men taught chivalry by an ancient wizard and riding atomic hoverbikes), Chthon planned for future victory.

It just so happened that a child was born in Wundagore the night of Chthon’s defeat. And as Chthon was resealed into the mountain, he imbued baby Wanda with latent magical potential to complement her powerful mutant gift.

Way to screw everything up, Magda. You bring a fetus to a demon mountain and you wander off into the snow to die? You’re the worst.

Although I suppose a question here is why just Wanda? Why not hedge your bets and imbue both Wanda and Pietro? As we’re about to see, Chthon had to kick and scream to get Wanda to this very situation that he needed her to be in and with double babies at least he would have had options.

Well, I know the reason is that this is a development from Wanda learning magic which was a development from her codename containing witch. But in story, why did Chthon put all his eggs in the Wanda basket?

Maybe he had has his heart set on that evil, sexy outfit. But if you think Pietro couldn’t rock that ensemble, Chthon, you need to be more open-minded.

Anyway, apparently even sealed in a mountain, Chthon had enough influence over Wanda to dampen her mutant powers several times in hopes that she would decide to learn magic to make up for it.

But it was only her introduction to Agatha Harkness that Wanda learned of her magical potential. And lets not forget that she almost immediately got possessed by Mephisto there so maybe learning magic was a bad idea.

It has gotten her possessed two and a half times by this point. Mephisto, Chthon, and I’m counting the Serpent Crown as half.

Maybe Agatha Harkness should have taught her ways to defend herself against possession before declaring that there was nothing further she could teach her.

Anyway, with Wanda now knowing magic and still having her science-spawned mutant powers, she was at least worthy of being Chthon’s dual-natured host. Because if science and magic beat him once, why, he’d just combine the two for his own good! Eat it, High Evolutionary and Magnus!

The last detail of getting Modred as a servant was taken care of by contriving a battle between Modred and the Other to gain complete control over the Wi-Fi Wizard and then having Modred trick Magnus into being half a world away when Chthon rose again.

Chthon!Wanda: “And now I have completely subjugated the soul of Wanda Frank, her body, her scientific and sorcerous abilities belong only to Chthon! And with them, I shall bend all of nature to my will!”

Now the only thing that can stop Chthon is natural light.

Because that chalk white complexion cannot stand up against any UV rays.

That’s just a headcanon but. She’s snow white.

Anyway, Modred senses something approaching interrupting this long exposition slash backstory dump told for noone’s benefit except the audience and Chthon who just loves to hear himself talk.

AND THE INTERLOPER IS A KNIGHT OF WUNDEGORE!

Or actually Beast who dug a skeleton out of a snowbank and stole its clothes, as ya do. He didn’t even know the connection to what was going on. Having heard the entire backstory that Chthon told somehow despite only now having approached close enough to make Modred’s sorcerous senses tingle, he realizes that it was a good idea because of the psychological impact on Chthon!

So I guess prior to overhearing that, Beast just put on a suit of armor he found in a snowbank because this whole alter on a mountain thing was so Skyrim he couldn’t help but loot a dead body?

Anyway, Knight Beast skewers the Darkhold with his lance.

Modred attempts to magic at him but thankfully Modred needs a stanza before getting around to anything which leads him to being SHHUK’d right in the throat with Cap’s shield.

Beast’s flashy entrance was enough to distract Chthon and loosen the bonds on the Avengers. And its a very flashy entrance. That is some snazzy golden armor.

Around this point we get to learn that apparently the primary diet of an ancient Earth-Spirit who had been sealed into a mountain is the scenery. Because Chthon gets downright hammy.

Some examples: “Wha -- no! A knight of Wuuuuundegore!” , “You triiiiicked me!” , “Yesssss! Hurt meeeee! It will only make the paaaaain of your chastisement that much sweeeeeter!” , “Weak souls taste looooovely!”

Aside from the chalky complexion, Chthon also goes increasingly more monster face as this goes on eventually looking like Voldemort with luxurious red hair.

Anyway, with the Avengers free and Chthon promising punishment for Beast’s trickery, Quicksilver just punches Chthon right in the face. Zero hesitation. Usually in these situations you get a dilemma like ‘but thats my friend/teammate/sister! I can’t hurt him/her/them!’ but Quicksilver just runs right up and pops Chthon one.

Good job, Pietro.

Meanwhile, Django Maximoff has an actual heart attack.

What is with Pietro and Wanda’s father figures having heart attacks? And how afraid should Magneto be??

But before Django falls down, he realizes that he’s still carrying that doll he used when he tried to kidnap Scarlet Witch before. He laments the loss of the Nivashi Talisman. If only he still had that he could kidnap Wanda’s soul again. BUT FOR GOOD REASONS THIS TIME.

But... he does? The doll starts moving and speaking with Wanda’s voice.

And then Django falls down in startlement and also having an actual heart attack.

Quicksilver jumps to some conclusions and realizes that the Nivashi Talisman was bullshit, the magic was within Django all along! Or rather, it was the wood that the dolls were carved from that was magical!

Like the Puppetmaster’s radioactive clay, the wood of Wundagore was exposed to the uranium in the mountain and as everyone knows, radiation is basically magic.

Leaping to some other conclusions, Quicksilver grabs the doll and tries to will a swap between Wanda and Chthon’s soul - to trap Chthon in the doll and put Wanda back in her ever-Voldemorting body.

But it doesn’t work because sometimes grabbing a magical doll and hoping for the best just doesn’t pay off.

Quicksilver: “Damn! It’s not working! Nothing is happening!”

Chthon: “Of coooooorse not, mortal! Your will is too weeeeeak! But I don’t mind -- weak souls taste looooovely!”

Quicksilver gives up and apologizes to Wanda for failing but now its Ms Marvel’s time to jump to some conclusions.

Clearly the problem is that none of the Avengers are trained magicians and can’t stand up to Chthon alone! But with the power of FRIENDSHIP maybe, just maybe, they can Care Bear Stare Chthon into defeat!

So the Avengers all touch Quicksilver and he tries again.

But this time, with TEAMWORK and wishing really hard, a powerful pink energy glow suffuses the Avengers.

“And thus ensues a literal battle of wills, as six struggling heroes pool their concentration into a phalanx of sorcerous thought, hoping to restore a soul -- and in the process, save a world! On the receiving end of that emotional barrage, Chthon gloats -- but it is an exultation short-lived, for he had underestimated that force which some humans call ‘good’ and others call ‘love.’ And thus the very heavens shriek with Chthon’s anger as his essence is torn forcibly from its newly-conquered vessel to replace the soul of Wanda Frank, trapped in an effigy of carven wood.”

Okay but be that as it may, they basically do a Care Bear Stare.

Jury is out on which Avenger is which bear.

(Cap is Patriotism Bear)

And as Wanda regains her rapidly un-Voldemorting body (I also notice that her evil, sexy costume turns back to normal. Interesting morality indicator...), she yells at Quicksilver to do something with the doll.

So he throws it off the mountain.

Good job, Pietro.

Throwing cursed objects into the distance means they’ll never return to harm anyone ever again.

Okay. I shouldn’t be snide. He throws Chthon!Doll into the crater where Wundagore city was and then Wanda uses a “combination hex bolt and mutant blast” to collapse the mountain on top of the doll.

I thought her hex bolts were her mutant power but whatever.

So Chthon has gone from being trapped in a nether plane to being sealed inside a mountain to being sealed inside a Scarlet Witch action figure underneath a mountain.

I can’t tell if that’s a lateral move or not.

Chthon ain’t pleased either way.

But alas. This victory came at a price. Although Django Maximoff’s magic and belief gave them the key to victory, he died of his heart attack. And never once did he stop loving the twins or ever get their names right.

Wanda and Pietro decide to bury him in the forest that he loved so much.

Dammit, he died too soon!

He may not have been the biological father but he’s the one that helped raise Wanda and Pietro and there’s so much dad stuff he could have done with them! Like awkward thanksgiving dinners with Magneto!

This story makes a big deal about setting up a new, real backstory for the twins and then quickly gets rid of any complications of that new backstory. Django really raised them? He dead now.

Making the Whizzer their dad at least kept the Whizzer around as a possible dadly figure. Also he’s had like five heart attacks and he’s still ticking. Give me back Django!

Anyway.

There’s the question of what to do with Modred. He was so linked to Chthon that without the demon to guide him, he’s become as mindless as an infant.

And there’s no way the Avengers are going to take care of him. They didn’t take care of teaching Loki to poop again when he lost his mind and he was Thor’s brother. Of course they’re going to pawn Modred off on Bova, cow-woman midwife.

She doesn’t mind though. Caring for children is what she was created for and teaching an ancient wizard to poop again is close enough for her.

And with no follow-up to see if Bova has adequate childcare facilities or has adult child proofed her home, the Avengers head off to return home.

Luckily Wonder Man crashed the Quinjet in mostly one piece because they’re not going to be able to borrow a jet in Transia. I don’t think there’s even a train station.

Also, Beast is still wearing the Knight of Wundagore armor and still has the very evil and corruptive Darkhold book just impaled on the lance.

I’m... are you just going to take that home, Beast??!

I think part of the Darkhold is later going to end up in Doctor Doom’s hands and after that the whole thing ends up in the Vatican but its unclear what Beast did with it in the interim.

Anyway, that's the end of a story that we can call Yesterday Quest or perhaps Wanda and Pietro Return Home And It Was Awful But At Least They Met Bova.

I think I’ve been pretty clear about what I think about it. Every time they change the Maximoff’s backstory they just make it even more spaghetti nonsense but this spaghetti nonsense was entertaining and brought us a lot of good stuff like Bova the cow-woman midwife, the High Evolutionary desperately trying to get rid of some babies, the Avengers using the Care Bear Stare, Cap going all the way over Gyrich’s head to the president, Wasp getting to Do A Thing, and Quicksilver falling down a mountain.

I don’t think stuff like Wanda’s magical potential needed a big backstory explanation and it just raises questions about why Pietro wasn’t also tapped as a potential host body and while this isn’t the first time Wanda ends up possessed (its the second and a half) I think it does contribute to an unfortunate trend of Wanda being possessed or going evil and sexy that writers really need to just get over.

I do think its a shame that Falcon still has not had a good showing in the book. Beast got several issues dedicated to what a good Avenger he would be. And I know that Falcon doesn’t even want to be here but he also wants to look good and the more he’s made to look ineffectual the more I can’t help but feel that this is an intentional tactic. It feels like Michelinie had an anti-affirmative action agenda to push and Falcon is both the catspaw and victim of that agenda.

Just let Falcon do cool stuff. I know he’s not long for this team. JUST LET HIM BE COOL.

Aside from that, its neat to see the backup Avengers concept so immediately put into action. With Iron Man busy with his own biz in Demon in a Bottle, Wonder Man is tapped to fill his spot on the team.

Setting up a flexible roster like that offers a lot of interesting possibilities for mixing things up.

Next time: David Michelinie takes a break from writing for a few issues and the Elements of Doom!

Which weirdly have nothing to do with Victor von.

Follow @essential-avengers if you like Bova, think Quicksilver could rock Wanda’s evil sexy costume, or just enjoy this liveblog.

[ohsweetjoy]

ONE

Mostly written before Waverly was almost ONE

Ramblings in hopes to remember..

When they told me that sleep is developmental, I really didn’t understand. Shortly after Waverly turned 9 months old, I began to understand. 6-9 months were one of the harder seasons for sleeping. She always needed someone there so we did rotations so I could have a moment to myself. But then, she rolled away from me in a short 15 minutes. I didn’t know if I should just get up or lay there for her to roll back. Our bed incessantly woke her up. We finally got a better bed but should of done that sooner. She began sleeping independently a little more and I began to understand what sleep is developmental meant. It was such a growing leap from 9 to 10 months.

Though I haven’t even written about 6-9 months.. Six was October. I need to reread what I wrote..

Ok now writing like I’m talking to Waverly because its what my brain is doing..

You still are putting ‘snacks’ in your mouth.. fuzz, leaves, pine needles left from Christmas, yes I do vacuum once a week, my hair, actual snacks.. You held on to me for the first time and it was captured in a photo (b&w one below). A level of attachment that was very foreign to me.

You began sitting up unassisted and that was great as I could set you down versus propping you in a box or with two boppys and a blanket. I am scouring my brain to remember what you were doing. I didn’t write down things enough. I took pictures, lots of them.. This day and age where you will have a photo for every day.. maybe even videos. We survived a women’s retreat hauling too many things for the possible needs. I walked down the halls for your stroller naps. Still three naps then.

They grow up fast.. its an understatement. Warp speed ahead. You’ll be 20 before I know it. You began to go from sitting to being on your belly to back to sitting. And not really crawling but moving in circles. Your “Oh” was so cute. When I would hand you something – started with your doll The holidays were wonderful but now kind of a blur with the stressors of caring for Isaac and the dailys. We met new friends and took a break from some old ones, not that you even know them though. I miss those friends and I can only hope things can relax and you can meet more of the village, but maybe we moved. It’s hard to know what the right thing to do is. How to live… how to parent…

I feel that parenting you is healing me. Numb to love and care and getting into that is much more complicated.. My biggest prayer when I really held you for the first time was that I could love you. I did not do well at first.. Fighting against how I was raised and against cultural “norms” I believe you are the happy that you are because of how I respond. I want to be calm and gentle and that is not natural but it is much more comfortable to sit and explain something and even though you may not understand, you will. You are absorbing so much now..

We eat many meals together as you learn to chew better. Started at 7 mo with one meal at dinner and then adding 3 meals a day around 9 months.. now more snacks in between cause you want all my snacks. Trying so hard to be healthy but then we all eat our emotions. Many frustrating things in this world and it makes me sick and then some very personal things that push me back into the rush of following a social normalcy or not.. How I want to raise my kids in and out of the home goes against the grain of what many people think or want.. its vague and I’ll probably write about it all specifically later..

This is to be just a journaling of what you Waverly have been doing. How you have grown and changed so quickly and I cannot keep up.

So quickly went from just sitting to crawling to pulling to stand to wanting to be where brother is and he is basically running away from you. You love him so much and I hope he will love you too. Your attachment to me is still foreign but I have come to fully embrace it. I keep reminding myself how much of a privilege it is to be able to hold you for most of your naps. Contact naps. I never heard of the term until I learned that’s what we were doing everyday, unless a car nap.

Sicknesses.. at 6 mo and around 9/10 mo.. Thankfully they were mild but did require some good suctioning. Which you hated which was expected…

I suspect the flu from someone getting the flu mist or even someone going to the store when sick. A few days after having gone grocery shopping we were sick. A bad headache and congestion and a struggle to nurse at times because of congestion.. This was the start of bedtimes though because after going straight to bed for a few days, there was no more going to sleep on my lap downstairs. You became too aware. I would nurse you to sleep and try to leave but the springs in the bed would often wake you or your attachment. You got more teeth sooner than I expected which would increase your need to nurse or have someone with you.

At one point we had the dreaded c o v i d… a test showing antibodies to prove it as I refuse to get tested when we had the sickness.. A really bad sinus infection, but just one super bad day, and the cold over in a week.. Then the next month losing smell and taste the next month but with only some congestion and post nasal drip… I wonder if you lost you senses too? You really didn’t see phased at all. Lots of homeopathic remedies and baths which we learned we had to give you them during the day because they did not calm you down. There are remedies for cv! Losing senses for 6 days was obnoxious, but I am grateful for connections to many who know of a variety of remedies which helped. Regular chiropractor visits helped you to crawl better and not just drag your left leg with you or keep step crawling. Crawling so fast and everywhere leaving a trail of drool behind you. Molars are coming in and the waves of trying to bite me have risen. Lots of teething tablets and frozen fruit filled teethers help.

When you see a face you wave and say “hi”. It’s the cutest thing.. When I am asleep you went right next to my head and said hi.. I am not sure if that’s better than the sit up and “trust fall” back on me thing you were doing which you did do on my head once… usually your head on my belly as a pillow.

Lots about sleeping and eating.. trying to create a variety of meals and helping me to eat healthy.. We read books before bed and play with some toys. You love peek a boo but not in a normal form.. I think you like the words really and the silliness of how I come close and go far and again and again. We crawl around the ottoman and you are getting faster and faster. Now you walk with assistance and will be walking without it soon. Sunny days we try to go on walks.. even some rainy ones. Changes of plans sometimes break my thought process and we walk to the store and back in the rain. Good thing for waterproof covers and coats and how you can nap so easily in a car seat stroller.

You’ve learned to worship and raise your hands. You saw others and followed. And at that retreat for a day I felt the Holy Spirit thick presence like when I was in Africa. Hands raised and voices loud. God So Loved - Song by We the Kingdom It is a hard push to get socialization. I can’t just take you to the library for story time or drop in care so I can go swimming. A push for play dates, yet some too scared and others too busy. I am grateful for a solid group with many many kids. A beautiful normalcy in this chaotic upside-down world.

Will you and your brother get a long?

Isaac and Waverly are slowly almost becoming like twins and soon will swap roles, some already have.. It’s kind of weird. Isaac is developmentally about 18 months.. More or less depending on activity.. So the other day I was feeding Isaac puréed foods. And I handed Waverly a peeled apple so she can eat that and stop being so loud that was bothering Isaac.. I was on a walk the other day and someone asked me if they were twins. And unless somehow Isaac gets a growth spurt soon they’ll probably think that Waverly is older.

Getting outside as much as we can and hope to continue, though I am not counting the hours, 1000 hours outside sounds like a lot of fun. What more will you learn? What will you show me?

[miphastudies]

17 Questions for 17 People

Thanks @its-bianca​ for tagging me in this! Sorry it’s taken so long, we’re in a third lockdown and I’m pretty sure my body thinks that time no longer exists.

Nicknames: Kim, Kimbo, Kimberlim, Kimothy, Kimberley Dibberley (For some reason my family thought that a nickname based off Cat’s other personality from Red Dwarf, Dwayne Dibberley, was funny and it’s stuck with me my whole life), as well as KIIII (shouted by my sister when she was about 2 and couldn’t pronounce my name, my best friend now yells it when she wants my attention) and Kim-Kim by my Dad who refuses to believe I’ve grown up (beats Kimberley Dibberley any day) 

Height: 5'9 - towering over most men is fun, I suggest it to all of you, I’d rather round it up to six foot, but I probs stopped growing at 20.

Hogwarts House: Well I got Gryffindor when I first went on that site, but being my goth self I had to take the test again until I got Slytherin - as far as I remember I had unicorn hair (or horn?) or something of the like in my wand but I’m not gonna fuel JK’s anti-trans pockets by visiting Pottermore ever again. 

Last thing I googled: The soundtrack for Futurama’s Luck of the Fryrish episode, I knew Simple Minds were on it but I could’ve sworn Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty was on it, but apparently not. I spent a good half hour trying to sing it into google with their new song-analysis thing to no avail, so I ended up siphoning through all the songs Lisa Simpson has ever played on her Sax to find out what it was (I should be doing my dissertation proposal but my tutors haven’t got back to me yet so what can ye do).

Song stuck in my head: yknow wha I’m just gonna list the songs that have been stuck in my head so far today because it’s too many to be just one as I keep cycling through them (also gonna link them so you can see how garbo weird my music taste is)

Run - Joji Alive - Pearl Jam Clinging On For Life - The Hoosiers Tension - Avenged Sevenfold  Boots of Spanish Leather - Bob Dylan Nutshell - Alice in Chains Jaded - Aerosmith  The Sea of Tragic Beasts - Fit For an Autopsy 

I’ll add my current favourite at the bottom too for good measure (Honestly I spend way too much time listening to music and I regret nothing)

Number of followers: Currently 85. I’ve got about 2k on my main blog but I’ve not touched that since July 2017.

Amount of sleep: Good lord, so I aim for 8 hours, sometimes I only get 5.5 or something along those lines, other times I depression nap during the day and can’t sleep at all, sometimes (like this morning) I’ll go to get up at a normal person time such as 9am when my body naturally wakes me up, but it’s so dark and gloomy outside and cold in my room that I just stay in bed and end up accidentally falling back asleep. 12pm gang rise up xo 

Lucky number: 7

Dream Job: Hopefully I get somewhat successful in monetising my hobbies, I’m working on it all atm (I don’t know why but I really hate telling people about my plans because I’m deathly afraid they’ll mock me or do whatever they can to ensure it doesn’t happen, I’ve got this list of things I need to do for my own mental health sellotaped to my laptop stand that had things like when to clean the house, do my laundry, shower, exercise etc, and my old flatmate/friend saw it the other week and mocked me, so I haven’t followed it since and need to find some sort of other way of organising my life instead). But yeah, hopefully hobby based, I don’t want to be stuck in an office job all my life, and I want to leave the UK (although I don’t want to leave my family) so hopefully I’ll be successful enough to bring em all with me.

Wearing: Well I was gonna wear jeans and my Unus Annus longsleeve but I decided to go full kitchen witch and wear this black milkmaid looking dress with long sleeves that I’d bought for work when I got my thigh tattoo started (all the old men appreciated the legs but I didn’t make any more tips, oops)

Favourite song: My favourite song of all time would be The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony , the band formed at my college, has great meaning and has resonated with me since I first saw the music video after it was played at my Stepdad’s funeral in 2002. Weirdly enough on my last day of college, right after my last exam, I went to get the bus home - put my Spotify on shuffle (bearing in mind I’ve got 805 songs on this playlist) and this came on straight away. That’s probably not important to most people, but being pagan, I like to think that small things like these are signs from loved ones that have since passed. Not too happy that it’s used as the England Rugby theme because it gives me anxiety every time as though I feel like everyone hearing it doesn’t have the same emotional connection with the song as I do, but idk. I saw Richard Ashcroft live and he played this and I legit bawled my eyes out in public, safe to say I’ll try and hold it in next time. I suggest you all have a listen to the song or even watch the music video for it, it’s the most simple but most meaningful music video to me. 

Favourite Instrument: I’m left handed and I had this Yamaha acoustic guitar that my stepdad gave me - and taught me to play when I was about 5, a few months before he died (it’s still weird to me that I had no idea he had cancer at that point and instead spent his last few months teaching me his favourite hobbies) all he had was right handed guitars, so he taught me to play Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters upside down on this 20 odd year old right handed acoustic. He hadn’t played upside down himself before but did it so I could see what he was doing. I remember sitting in our green living room on the couch with him moving my hands to the right position (I don’t know where my mum was in this scenario, probably in the kitchen). He’d brought this guitar with him the first day I met him, it was probably like 11pm but I was 4 and thought it was 3am or something, but I heard voices coming from the living room and had gone to investigate - there sat my mum and my stepdad having Chinese on the living room floor, laughing together, my stepdad saw me and had brought sweets for me and my brother for when we woke up, but he beckoned me over, gave me a lollipop, stuck a two litre bottle of tizer in front of me and told me to dip the lollipop in the drink and lick it (not a good idea as I would’ve been bouncing off the walls, but I think I must’ve had a sugar crash and fallen asleep). My mum had no idea he was coming as he’d sneakily been texting her, asking what her favourite drink was, her favourite food and flowers etc, after they met in a pub when my mum was at a hostel with my brother after my Dad had taken me. My mum told him that the council had given her a place and he decided to show up and surprise her with all her favourite things and play guitar for her after my brother and I had gone to bed, I don’t remember much time passing before we’d moved into his house (where my mum and her new husband live to this day), but they got married a few months later and I still can’t play that Metallica song (I did try to teach myself more of it though). I also had this black left handed Ibanez prestige that my Dad got me for Christmas about 9 years ago, I could play quite a lot on it but eventually just stopped. Very good at piano though. 

Aesthetic: I’m not sure what this entails but I’m a sucker for neon/RGB/cityscapes and that type of malarkey. Also space. Love da space.  Also whatever Cornwall would be considered as. Cottagecore? I think that’s only an animal crossing related aesthetic but I’m claiming it nonetheless. 

Favourite Author: I’m a big goth so it has to be Stephen King by default. I’ve got copious first editions of his books from the 70′s and 80′s that my Mum bought when she was a teen. At my flat I’ve got Carrie, Christine, Salem’s Lot, Misery and The Shining first editions and the others are in my room at my Mum’s house. I don’t tend to read for joy like I used to, or write for fun either but I’m hoping I do more in 2021. Currently reading The Outsider by King, it sounds eerily familiar to a novel I wrote for coursework in college in 2014 and I’m half pressed to think he’s stole my brain ideas. I’m watching you Stephen. Always watching. Always. 

Favourite animal sounds: I don’t have favourite sounds, but my husky Nanook is my favourite animal because he’s dumb and I love him. Also Kookaburra sounds are terrifying and you all should go listen to what a koala sounds like. When I go to Adelaide (hopefully this year, if not next) I am NOT stepping foot in a nature reserve unless I’ve got an anti-kookaburra noise suit on. They obviously don’t exist so I’m gonna have to make one.

Random: I’m part of a viking reenactment group where they use actual swords and fight each other, and we have to basically sign our lives away when we join, to say that if we die, it’s not the groups fault. I don’t actually do the fighting though, I’m part of the villager group, so I do all the crafting and food making and most of the teaching when we do shows. I’ve not yet been to a show as I’ve had uni to go to, but my parents, sister and brother do - They stayed within Whitby Abbey last year during the Viking festival where everyone did the show and the adults got drunk round campfires in the castle grounds. Zacky Vengeance once complimented my shirt if that’s something. I’m also colourblind, got glared at by Liam Gallagher in the Liverpool Echo Arena parking lot and have too accurate a sense of smell.

Sorry this was so long, obviously I felt like word-dumping and my brain has a lot to say as I find too much meaning in these things.  Thanks again for tagging me! I’ve not got 17 people to tag as I don’t interact with anyone at the moment but I’ll come back to this and add people as the week progresses :) 

[raendown]

Madara/Tobirama

This section organized alphabetically by title, excepting where a sequel is placed 163directly beneath its predecessor regardless of title. 

A Comedy Of Errors (And Idiot Brothers) - Rated T+ Word count: 15,662 Summary:  Everyone in the world has two soulmates, platonic and romantic. Only your platonic soulmate can find your romantic soulmate for you. Hashirama should have known who Madara was the moment they met. Tobirama did know who Mito was as soon as they met. Everything would be so much easier if they were able to just say something about it to each other but since when does the universe like making things easy?

A Moment Frozen - Rated G Word count: 1227 Summary: He really thought Madara would complain more about caring for him until the paralytic wore off.

A Written Invitation - Rated T+ Word count: 1062 Summary: It had to be some kind of prank. Had to.

Contractual Reevaluations [Sequel to A Written Invitation] - Rated M Word count: 4585 Summary: The arrangement they agreed to is great, don’t get them wrong, but it’s just not enough anymore.

After The Smoke Clears - Rated T+ Word count: 5000 Summary: Upon discovering a hidden habit Tobirama uses to relieve the stress of his very busy life, Madara’s first instinct is to keep poking the beast. Things don’t turn out well - until suddenly they do. 

After The Smoke Clears [Russian Translation] Translation by: @mailitt

Afternoon Nap - Rated G Word count: 881 Summary: If the walls of their house could talk they would tell tales of fluff and love. 

Angsty Assassin Drabble - Rated T+  Word count: 410 Summary: Both of them are assassins but they both made the same mistake. 

Behind Enemy Lines - Rated T+ Word count: 9427 Summary: Madara and Tobirama both wake up in very different places from where they went to sleep. The reason for the switch does not make them any calmer.

Blind Observations - Rated T+ Word count: 3223 Summary: Madara has a habit of looking without properly seeing - although he does really like what he’s seeing.

Blood Bender Drabble Part 1 - Rated T+ Word count: 1102 Summary: Tobirama is rather more protective of his older brother than most people would have expected. Madara notices. 

Blood Bender Drabble Part 2 - Rated G Word count: 669 Summary: Madara rather enjoyed watching Tobirama and Hashirama noticed his enjoyment. His approval is conditional. - Rated G

Blood Bender Drabble Part 3 - Rated G Word count: 673 Summary: If the violence had happened before peace was made.

Blood Bender Drabble Part 4 - Rated T+ Word count: 1897 Summary: Set after Part 2, Madara makes an effort to woo Tobirama and the Uchiha clan quickly learn to fear him even more. 

Bound By The Law - Rated E Word count: 6272 Summary: Madara picks him up after class and that’s kind of nice, promises him a date and that’s nice too, then fucks him across the hood of his police cruiser and that’s, well, that’s something better than nice.

But Broken Live On - Rated E Word count: Ongoing Summary: Shattered by those they trusted, Madara and Tobirama bring the jagged pieces of themselves together in the practice of kintsugi. What once was broken is brought back to life with an unexpected appeal.

Butt Touching Drabble - Rated T+ Word count: 402 Summary: Madara gets a little bold. 

Can’t Fool Me With The Truth - Rated M Word count: 5649 Summary: Five times Madara does not see Tobirama pouting - and then one time that he does.

Chance Meeting - Rated G Word count: 1010  Summary: Too exhausted to sense ahead of himself, Tobirama runs in to Madara in the forest - literally. 

Dinner With Izuna Drabble - Rated T+ Word count: 847 Summary: Izuna invites Madara over to dinner to talk about Tobirama.

Domestic Fluff Drabble - Rated T+ Word count: 799 Summary: Domestic discussions about child rearing and responsibility. 

Eternity’s End - Rated T+   Word count: 1815 Summary: Tobirama has been haunted by an ancient legend for most of his life and only when he is well in to adulthood does he decide to chase its origins. Maybe if he finally understands where the legend began then he might understand why it fascinates him so. 

Fade To Bright - Rated T+ Word count: 2001 Summary: He’s known this was coming since he was a boy just old enough to understand what the word ‘sacrifice’ meant.

Fear of Beards - Rated G Word count: 817 Summary: Everyone is afraid of something. Tobirama’s biggest fear just happens to be more unusual than others. 

Fear of Beards Part 2 - Rated G Word count: 663 Summary: Madara did indeed convince Izuna to grow a beard. His plan has mixed results for the two of them. 

Fields Of Spring - Rated T+ Word count: 11339 Summary: Every year the centaur herds gather at the mating grounds in spring. Madara hasn’t made the trip in years and he has low hopes of finding a match his first time back until he encounters a stallion that captures his interest at first sight.

Fingers In The Honeypot - Rated T+ Word count: 2385 Summary: Madara didn’t believe Tobirama could seduce anyone until he witnessed it happening - and found himself seduced in the process as well. 

Follow Me To Reward Or Ruin - Rated T+ Word count: 1782 Summary: Tobirama’s plans to keep Madara in the village are obvious yet unexpected. Everyone sees it but no one believes it.

Fool Me Once And A Half - Rated T+ Word count: 5054 Summary: The first time they met Madara’s world lit up with color - but Tobirama’s didn’t. Born blind, Tobirama would never get to experience color. And after all these years he still doesn’t believe in Madara’s claims that the two of them are soulmates.

For Want Of Reason And Mercy - Rated T+ Word count: 5393 Summary: He knows what he has done. He’s known that they would come for him.

Forward - Rated M Word count: 7024 Summary: All that Madara thought he was doing today was watching a bit of sports with a friend. He didn’t expect his past to come running back to him - especially not in such a literal way. 

Good Morning (After) - Rated T+  Word count: 1847 Summary: Just your good old ‘morning after’ trope. 

Heartfelt Hairdos - Rated T+ Word count: 1997 Summary: Tobirama likes to play with his brother’s hair and Madara was never sure why that bothered him until now. 

Hogwarts Professors AU - Rated T+ Word count: 1028 Summary: Madara’s not sure what disaster Tobirama is trying to cause, breaking in to his rooms like this, but he’s damn sure it’s all Kagami’s fault.

I Hate You (But Thank You, Thank You) - Rated M Word count: 1516 Summary: “What on earth are you wearing?" 

I Made A Blanket Of Your Heart - Rated T+ Word count: 1708 Summary: Everyone loves a good fireside nap on a cold winter evening. 

I’ll Breathe You A Garden - Rated T+ Word count: 4485 Summary: Hanahaki disease is a condition which causes the victim of unrequited love to grow flowers in their lungs, ending in death when the roots grow too deep and eventually suffocating them if the feelings are never returned.For Tobirama it begins with a single petal. 

In Memory Of - Rated E Word count: 27584 Summary: After falling in to a coma and losing his memory, Madara’s mind fills in the blanks in any way it can - such as causing him to believe he is married to Tobirama. Hashirama convinces his brother to go along with it for now because really, what’s the worst that can happen? As it turns out, a lot can happen. The charade only last for a few months but the effects of that time will change the rest of their lives. 

Indemnity - Rated G Word count: 1276 Summary: For the damage done, an apology is owed. It takes about six months. 

It’s A Wonderful Lie - Rated T+ Word count: 7991 Summary: That Madara made up a pretend boyfriend is funny. That he’s been using this pretend boyfriend as an excuse to get out of social engagements all year is hilarious. That he asks Tobirama to stand in and pretend to be his fake boyfriend for a work party ends up being less amusing.

Kitten Kisses - Rated T+ Word count: 995 Summary: Tobirama finds Madara in his living room with cat ears and a cat’s mind. He is both horrified and so very weak to the purring. 

Lap Sitting Drabble - Rated G Word count: 438 Summary: Madara tries to follow Hashirama’s example with mixed results. 

Less Is More - Rated T+ Word count: 1384 Summary: One quick change to his usual attire and it was like everyone else had lost their ability to be normal. Tobirama hated being confused.

Less Is More Part 2 - Rated T+ Word count: 1015 Summary: After the doctor’s examination Tobirama asks for a little clarification on what happened. Madara is mortified. 

Less Is More Part 3 - Rated G Word count: 307 Summary: The origin story of how the crop top came to be. 

Take One For The Team [Sequel to Less Is More Part 2] - Rated E Word count: 3625 Summary: Madara wins a contest and receives a prize, complete with delightful wrappings. 

Let’s Hurt Tonight - Rated T+ Word count: 13367 Summary: In a world where soulmates can remember the past lives they lived together, Madara cannot get passed the fact that his own soulmate was the one to kill his brother in their last life. When Tobirama leaves town without explanation he thinks “good riddance” and tries hard to put the man entirely from his mind. Now it’s five years later in another town and Tobirama is on stage singing - and Madara’s world is turning upside down. 

Lightweight Tobirama - Rated T+ Word count: 558 Summary: Tobirama always thinks he can drink Madara under the table and Madara is always happy to prove him wrong.

Little White Lies - Rated M Word count: 1395 Summary:  A shinobi’s life is full of lies and Tobirama tells himself a lot of them. His methods for coping with his rising attraction aren’t the most sophisticated but they get the job done, as it were.

Love Done Right - Rated T+ Word count: 9883 Summary: After having his eyes opened in a sudden - and violent - manner, Madara immediately begins his wooing of one Senju Tobirama.

It turns out, however, that Uchiha courting rituals are rather…unique.

Madara would say it’s going well. Tobirama would say something entirely different.

Love Potion No. 999 - Rated T+ Word count: 1809 Summary: Just because he’s not supposed to doesn’t mean he’s not going to. With results like these, how could he resist? 

Madara Like Glasses Drabble - Rated T+ Word count: 711 Summary: Touka get’s caught alone while weakened and signals her cousin for help. Turns out Tobirama helps more by being distracting than with violence.

Marks Of Affection [Sequel to Soulmate Collection Ch 43] - Rated E Word count: 7982 Summary: It takes some time and a bit of tiptoeing, but two soulmate finally come together.

Midnight Glistening - Rated G Word count: 1745 Summary: And thus was born yet another tradition for ringing in the new year.

Miles To Go - Rated M Word count: 9886 Summary: How much madness could three idiots pack in to one road trip, anyway?

Not As We - Rated T+ Word count: In progress Summary: When Tobirama is exiled from the Senju clan without warning, without even the chance to plead his case, it feels like his life is over. What does he have to live for now without his older brother to believe in him? Captured by the Uchiha in his moment of weakness, Tobirama slowly learns to live again with the last people on earth he would have ever expected to care for - or to fall in love with.

Oblivious Until Proven Stupid - Rated T+ Word count: 3513 Summary: Tobirama’s latest experiment wouldn’t exactly pass any peer reviews. Not that he’s showing these notes to anyone ever again.

Obviously Hidden - Rated M Word count: 3100 Summary: As shinobi they are masters of hiding in plain sight - even when they don’t actually mean to.

Overprotective and Unapologetic - Rated T+ Word count: 1521 Summary: Madara isn’t too impressed with the young hooligan their son brought home to dinner.

Picky - Rated T+ Word count: 1855 Summary: Madara enjoys learning new things about Tobirama, if only so that he has something new to tease him with.

Pray The Devil Will Save My Soul - Rated T+ Word count: 10929 Summary: “Take your protections with you when you leave the village and never go looking for the Other Folk. If they find you…god rest your soul my son.”

Prototellar - Rated E Word count: 46,467 Summary: Protostellar - the earliest phase in the evolution of a new star. It begins with self collapse. And it ends by exploding outward in to light, a new beginning.

Quietly In To That Good Night - Rated G Word count: 829 Summary: Tobirama is dying. Well, according to him, at least.

Rabbit Tobirama Drabble - Rated T+ Word count: 1673 Summary: A drunken Madara compared Tobirama to a white rabbit and Tobirama does not take such comparisons gracefully.

Rapture On The Lonely Shore - Rated M Word count: 4121 Summary: Madara isn’t sure what he thinks about being given a third chance at life. He’s glad that he has his brother and Hashirama with him, although he’s pretty sure he could live without Tobirama being there as well. What really makes things things interesting is all this new technology. He particularly enjoys his new ‘cellphone’.

Re-Sleeping - Rated T+ Word count: 1616 Summary: Rather than dragging his best friend out of bed Madara finds himself dragged back in to bed by his best friend’s little brother.

Second First Look - Rated G Word count: 1329 Summary: Madara sees something new and takes a second first look. Tobirama does the same. Hashirama shakes his head.

Eyes On Me [Sequel To Second First Look] - Rated E Word count: 2981 Summary: A sequel which picks up directly after “Second First Look” because it was such an easy excuse for shameless smut. Madara just really likes the way Tobirama looks in those glasses. Tobirama feels sort of the same about Madara in a ponytail.

Seduction By Slumber - Rated T+ Word count: 1391 Summary: Sometimes it works to his benefit to speak without filters. Although Tobirama doesn’t seem to have any objections to his sleep-deprived demands, Hashirama obviously disapproves. 

Should Have Seen It Coming - Rated T+  Word count: 4261 Summary: He’s pretty sure Senju Tobirama is just arrogant and that’s all there is to it. Turns out he’s wrong but what else is new. 

Small Spaces - Rated T+  Word count: 1671 Summary: Oh would you look at that; there’s only one bed. I guess they’ll just have to share. 

Something Wicked This Way Comes - Rated T+  Word count: 2566 Summary: Every Halloween it’s the same damn thing. This year he wants answers. 

Speak Softly And Carry A Pomeranian - Rated M Word count: 38404 Summary: Accidents happen, right? But not usually for Tobirama. When an experiment goes awry, he is left taking care of Madara in a new furry form. As the small dog works his way into his heart, Tobirama finds himself reluctant to turn him back. 

Speaking From The Heart - Rated T+ Word count: 4817 Summary: We all want someone who will stop and listen to us, however we decide to make ourselves heard. (aka that story where Tobirama is mute and it changes some things but not others)

Subtext - Rated T+ Word count: 1572 Summary: Written for following prompt: "Kakashi, after becoming hokage, discovers that an erotic novel infamous for its beautiful and salacious sex scenes that is considered a work of art and one of the kinkiest things ever put to pen (and that is practically Kakashi’s bible)? Written anonymously by Tobirama Senju. He needed to get out all that sexual tension with Madara in some constructive way. (Madara read it years later after a Zetsu found it. He found the style familiar, but dismissed the thought.” - Rated T+

The Autocorrect Way To Say It [Part 1 of The Autocorrect Series] - Rated T+  Word count: 585 Summary: Madara and Tobirama fight over text. Autocorrect makes an effort to help. 

The Capitulation of Uchiha Madara [Part 2 of The Autocorrect Series] Word count: 4685 Summary: Madara benefits from Tobirama’s typo. - Rated E 

Reasonable and Adult™ [Part 3 of The Autocorrect Series] - Rated T+ Word count: 3144 Summary: A discovery is made but not by them.

The Adoption Drabble - Rated G Word count: 673 Summary: Tobirama and Madara discuss making certain things official 

The Gift Of Subtlety - Rated E Word count: 1138 Summary: Just your good old “single person hates Valentine’s Day” trope. 

The Lack Thereof - Rated M Word count: 1642 Summary: “I think you’ll be happy to know that I’m not wearing any underwear.” 

The Leading Generation - Rated G Word count: 1888 Summary: In which Tobirama and Izuna are the older two and Tobirama has a crush on his friend’s younger brother.

The More We Get Together - Rated M Word count: 43720 Summary: Madara used to be a man feared even by those of his own clan. Life’s really changed since the village was built. Among those changes is his relationship with one Senju Tobirama - and apparently everyone else knew about this even before he did. 

The Ways In Which We Say - Rated G Word count: 772 Summary: Although their styles of communication are very different, both Madara and Tobirama always understand what the other is saying. 

The Witching Moon - Rated T+ Word count: 3546 Summary: Jealous of the power held by the Heavenly Bodies, the human Kaguya traps one of them in an attempt to steal that power for herself. She should have known better than to challenge those she views as gods.

To The Sea, To The Sea - Rated T+ Word count: 3793 Summary: Searching for a brother kidnapped by slavers, Madara certainly never expected to accidentally summon what appears to be a water spirit. And he certainly never expected the spirit to help him. 

Under The Surface (Dig Deep Till It Bleeds) - Rated T+ Word count: 1914 Summary: In which Tobirama and Madara were born in opposite clans and the Uchiha curse of hatred gets a bit too literal.

Vicarious Happiness - Rated T+ Word count: 1790 Summary: It’s their first date but they appear to have a tag-a-long.

Virginity Drabble - Rated M Word count: 1055 Summary: They’re both virgins until Tobirama isn’t - and Madara wants to know how. 

We Wish You A Happy Something - Rated G Word count: 4013 Summary: Madara has detested Christmas since he was fairly young, just not for any reason that he cares to broadcast. This year something special happens that just might endear him to the season a little more.

What I’m Selling Ain’t Cheap (Context Is Everything) [Part 1 of The University Chronicles] - Rated T+ Word count: 4547 Summary: Madara and Hashirama go up to visit Tobirama while he’s away at university but every time they ask someone for help trying to find him they keep getting very odd reactions. It’s almost like these people know something about Tobirama that they don’t.

Free Student To Good Home (Not House Trained) [Part 2 of The University Chronicles] - Rated T+ Word count: Ongoing Summary:  Now attending the university here in their hometown as he begins his Master’s, Tobirama develops a problem with falling asleep in the strangest of places. Madara, poor innocent never-deserved-any-of-this Madara, gets mistaken for a mattress one too many times. All he wanted to do was focus on his career but instead he finds himself forcibly tasked with herding his secret crush towards better sleep habits. It’s driving him up the wall.

When Talking Just Won’t Cut It - Rated E Word count: 4415 Summary: He’s been flirting with Tobirama for months now but the idiot just doesn’t seem to get it. Frustrated, Madara takes things in to his own hands. Literally.

Wounded Lips and Salted Cheeks - Rated T+ Word count: 3392 Summary: Ten years is a long time to be gone. It’s amazing how much has changed - and how much hasn’t.

 Applicable chapters of the Soulmate Collection: Chapter 2 Chapter 13 Chapter 33 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 52 Chapter 66 Chapter 69 Chapter 77 Chapter 89 Chapter 98 Chapter 121 Chapter 125 Chapter 128 Chapter 142 Chapter 152 Chapter 153 Chapter 154 Chapter 157 Chapter 160 Chapter 161 Chapter 163 Chapter 166 Chapter 174 Chapter 178

[kittenwritesstuff]

Completeness

Gif’s not mine!

Fandom: The Hobbit Pairing: Lindir x (human)reader Genres: romance, fluff Words: 1.556 Summary: Reader finally meets her One, turning both their wolrds upside down - requested by @haru-no-sakura

Your mother had said that once you meet your One you’d surely know. The way you see the world would change, colors would become more vivid, the air would feel thicker.

Your friend had said that when she met her Once she felt as if a thin wool was moved away from her eyes, making her vision clear. She felt as though she could float above the ground, led by the love of her One. Nothing more she needed and nothing more she ever would.

Your brother had describe it a pull, impossible to resist, mind-blowing but beautiful beyond imagination. As if your mind only waited for the One to fully open and allow you to notice things you’d never paid attention to. There was an incredible softness in his voice when he spoke about his beloved.

To you, it always sounded like a myth. How can a person change so much in another’s life? It was a fairytale, something told by mothers to their children as a bedtime story.

You couldn’t only wrap your head around one thing – your mother, your friend and your brother would never lie to you. They knew you hated liars and always told you the truth.

Which only meant that tales about earth-shattering love were real. You only had to wait for yours to come and turn your world upside down.

_____

Usually, it was your mother who traveled with merchants to Rivendell. It was quite a long journey and a tiring one, not good for a young girl like you.

This time, however, she felt under the weather and you offered to take her place. You knew what to do, she taught you well.

Trading with elves was something very common in villages in the Valley. You were offering them fruits and vegetables, getting herbs and medicines in exchange. It was a fair deal and many outsiders wondered what was the reason behind your village’s citizens’ health.

You kissed your mother goodbye and jumped onto the wagon, after making sure that carrots and beats were properly arranged. Your neighbor was driving – you used that occasion to ask him question about it, noting that it would be a good idea to learn how to drive a wagon. It would make you and your family independent.

The trip passed by on chatting and occasional napping and you were surprised when you arrived at the elves’ residence.

When you set your eyes upon it, your breath caught in your throat. Your mind would never come up with such a wonderful, intricate place. Somewhere in the distance you heard a soothing murmur of a waterfall and a sweet smell of flowers reached your nose. It was a calming place and you promised yourself you’d ask your mother to let you come there more often.

Keeping a distance, you greeted the elves and helped them collect what you’d brought. You were always a quiet one, never speaking too much or too loud, more often sitting alone than with other. You also weren’t fond of too much physical contact. There was no traumatic reason behind it – you just didn’t like being touched too often and your family and friends accepted it. Your mother joked that once you come across your One, you wouldn’t be able to stop touching them, wouldn’t bear being away from them. You didn’t really believed it.

“Pardon me, miss,” a melodic voice rung on your right and you turned your head to look at its owner. A tall elf with long brown hair, big dark eyes that were boring into yours with such intensity your knees felt weak and you had to grasp on the wagon’s edge to steady yourself.

Something stirred within you, your vision went blurry for a brief moment before everything came to a halt and the outside world stopped making any sense.

Was the light always so bright? It was hurting your eyes but you couldn’t shut them.  

Were the sounds always so loud and clear? You could swear you didn’t notice that birds sung such a lovely melody.

Why was air suddenly so thick and fresh? It smelled as if the rain fell just a moment ago and cleansed the world of all dirt.

Were the colors so vivid? Why the green had a glow in it that it didn’t have before? Why the sky out of sudden look infinitely blue? You didn’t remember it to be so astonishing.

“Oh,” you said in a weak voice, quiet enough only for the elf to hear it. He looked exactly how you felt – as though you’d experienced a great epiphany, as if his world had changed, shattered into pieces and was built anew, more beautiful and more inviting.

“Did you feel it as well?” he asked, his tone hinted with uncertainty and a sigh of relief left his mouth when you nodded.

“May I know your name?”

“Y/N,” you whispered and a small, insecure smile curled your lips upward.

“Y/N,” he tried it, every letter in your name caressed in his lips, sounding like he waited to say it aloud for his entire life.

“What’s yours, my lord?” you inquired. Your heart pounded with anticipation, your mind screamed for you to move forward, to close the distance between you and him, to feel him but you were painfully aware that you weren’t alone.

“Lindir,” he spoke and you gasped. It was magical – how his name seemed to be an ancient spell, prompting you to finally open your eyes, to experience life in its fullness.

You repeated his name, speaking it as softly as you could and Lindir visibly shivered. It was odd how much power you had over him but he was glad that you finally stepped into his life. He’d started to think that maybe his One was gone before they met or he had to wait longer until they were born.

It didn’t matter that you were a human girl. It was a precedence, of course – elves only paired with elves, there was no exception. Until now, that is. Until Lindir saw you and almost collapsed onto his knees, ready to beg you not to go away.

Somebody cleared their throat behind your back and you almost jumped out of your skin, startled. You turned around to face the person, coming face to face with the Lord of Rivendell.

Panic surged through you, but Lindir placed his palm on your shoulder, momentarily ushering the fear away.

“If I may suggest, the two of you should go somewhere more private. Lindir, why won’t you show Y/N our gardens? I’m sure she’ll enjoy a stroll.”

“Thank you, Lord Elrond,” Lindir muttered and offered you his arm. You linked your arm with his and allowed him to led you away from people, too shaken to notice amazed or disgusted expressions. You only wondered how Lord Elrond knew your name. He must’ve heard when you said it to Lindir, or maybe your mother had mention you on one of her visits?

“I thought I’d never see you. I thought I’d have to wait another hundreds of years to be able to meet you, yet here you are…”

“Here I am,” you assured, smiling brightly at him. Now, that you were deep in the gardens, no one to watch you, you could move your hands and cradle his face in them, relishing in the feeling of his skin.

Lindir gently did the same and you shuddered when his fingers brushed across your cheeks, eliciting a pleasant tingles. It felt so good, better than you’d imagine. And it felt absolutely right.

“It was all real. What my mother told me, it’s all true.”

“I suppose,” Lindir smiled and you felt warmth spreading within you. By sweet Yavanna, you’d give away everything you owned to be able to see that smile for the rest of your life.

“Will you come with me to meet her? She’ll be so happy…”

“Y/N, I- what if she’ll dislike me? I’m not of the race of Men and I’m older, so much older than you.”

“It does not matter!” you stated, pursing your lips and Lindir knew then that you were just as ready to fight for your love as he was.

“Will Lord Elrond allow you to travel with me?”

“Most likely, yes.”

“My mother won’t let me come to live here without getting to know you. And don’t argue, she’s very stubborn.”

“Y-you wish to live here?”

“It’s your home, I can’t make you leave it.”

“But your family…”

“They will be able to visit. Besides, you have duties here, is that right?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s sorted.”

“You’re so smart, my beautiful sunflower. I’m so lucky, so very lucky!”

You flashed him a happy smile, giggling when he scooped you in his arms and spun you around, joining you with his own merry laughter. A feeling of utter serenity washed over you as he stopped and looked into your eyes, silently asking for a permission. You parted your lips slightly as you moved your hands to rest on the nape of his neck and pulled him gingerly towards you.

And then it happened. Lindir’s lips met yours and you knew nothing would be the same from now on.

But it was right. It was meant to be. And you never felt happier.

[ulrichfoester]

When does old age begin? (Part 1 of Your Brain at 100 series)

This is part 1 of a series examing lessons in brain health learned from our elders — those folk who lived the longest and healthiest.

We’ve living longer, but how do our aging brains fare? 

To answer this question, I’ve looked to two sources — those exceptionally old folks who remain in robust physical and mental health till the very end of their lives, and our evolutionary past.

Over millennia, Mother Nature equipped us to survive and thrive in the wild. Our brains evolved such that from womb to the tomb we’re required to move, eat well, sleep, immerse ourselves in nature, avoid stress, love and befriend, and seek meaning. These requirements neatly map onto the principles of everyday life followed by the world’s longest living people.

    When does old age begin?

We can’t seem to make up our minds, and the older we get, the further we move the goalposts marking the last season of our lives.

A 2009 survey of Americans asked participants when they believed someone grew ‘old’.

Young folks in their twenties believed said old age began at 60. Those under 50 put the threshold closer to 70, whereas those 65 and above said that the average person does not become old until turning 74.

Getting old wasn’t nearly as bad as people think it will be. Nor was it quite as good.

On the downside, one in four adults ages 65 surveyed reported memory loss. One in five had a serious illness, are no longer sexually active, or often feel sad or depressed, lonely or have trouble paying bills. One in ten felt like a burden.

On the upside, the same group said they have more time for hobbies, travel, volunteer work, and more financial security. Of all the good things about getting old, the best by far, according to older adults, is being able to spend more time with family members.

“Am I Old? Certainly not!”

One of my boys said to me recently he couldn’t imagine me as a little girl and how did it feel to finally be “old”. I told him I feel the same now as I did when I was 10.

“Am I Old? Certainly not!” This was the answer survey respondents gave too.

In fact, the older they got, the younger they said they feel. About half of those under 30 said they felt their age. But those who were 75 and older? Just 35% say they feel “old”.

It seems we remain on intimate terms with our much younger selves — I sometimes wonder how ten-year old me suddenly became forty-three?

We enter the end of our lifespan with our past woven intimately into our biology.

From birth, our neural architecture is shaped by life’s ups and downs, the decisions we made, the places where we lived, worked and learned, the meaning we’ve derived, and who we loved, gave life to, and travelled with through time. How we spend our early years will determine how we age.

More and more of us are living to into old age, and there has never been a better time in which to do so. Our large clever human brains have bequeathed us with modern medicine and tools with which we manage our reproductive health, avoid maternal and neonatal death, vaccinate against disease, prevent pain, treat infection and some cancers, and perform surgery if required.

One hundred years ago, women lived barely long enough to see out their 50s. A baby girl born today can expect to live to see out the first decades of the 22nd century.

Uncovering the secrets of exceptional longevity

On February 21, 1875, one year before the Alexander Graham Bell filed his patent for the telephone, a baby girl, Jeanne Louise Calment was born in Arles, France. She was alive to witness the invention of the aeroplane, cinema, and on a trip to Paris saw the Eiffel tower being built. When she was 13, Jeanne met Vincent Van Gogh; although apparently, she was less than impressed saying he was ”…very ugly, ungracious, impolite, sick…”.

In 1997, the same year Princess Diana died, Calment finally passed away. She was 122 years and 164 days old. Although blind, almost deaf, and confined to a wheelchair, Calment reportedly remained spirited and “alert as a hummingbird” till the end. The French called her “la doyenne de l’humanitè” (the elder of humankind) and she still holds the record for the world’s longest ever living human (although this has been recently challenged).

In April 2017, the latest longevity record holder, Emma Martina Luigia Morano of Vercelli, Italy, died aged 117. Born in November 1899, Morano was the last known living person who was born in the 1800s. According to the Guinness Book of Records, Morano followed the same extraordinary diet for around 90 years: three eggs per day (two raw, one cooked), fresh Italian pasta, and a dish of raw meat. The current longevity crown belongs to Polish Holocaust survivor Israel Kristal, who celebrated his 113th birthday in September 2017.

Once rare as diamonds, the oldest of the old are the fastest growing sector of our global population.

If you were born in 1900, the odds of living till age 100 were less than 1 in a million, and few people lived long enough see out the 1950s. For girls born into wealthy countries today, the odds of blowing out 100 candles on a cake are roughly 1 in 50.

Israel Kristal claims he doesn’t know the secret of his long life.

I believe that everything is determined from above and we shall never know the reasons why. There have been smarter, stronger and better-looking men then me who are no longer alive. All that is left for us to do is to keep on working as hard as we can and rebuild what is lost.

When asked her secrets, Jeanne Calment attributed her longevity to immunity to stress and a good attitude,

I wasn’t afraid of anything. I was often reproached for that … I took pleasure when I could, I acted clearly and morally and without regret. I’m very lucky.

Calment reportedly ate more than two pounds of chocolate a week, treated her skin with olive oil, rode a bicycle until she was 100, and only quit smoking when she was 117 because she became too proud to ask someone else to light her cigarettes. Known for her wit, she is widely reported as saying,

I’ve never had but one wrinkle, and I’m sitting on it.

Hard work, raw eggs, biking, and no regrets. We clamour to learn their secrets, and typically the oldest of the old love to share their long-won wisdom. Calment once quipped.

I wait. For death and journalists.

Blue Zones lessons for longevity

In another longevity project, National Geographic writer Dan Buettner together Professor Michel Poulain famously described five ‘Blue Zones’ around the globe where the residents live to exceptional old age. Despite being very different parts of the world, there are commonalities to the resident’s lifestyles.

Their longevity has nothing to do with brute discipline, diets, exercise programs or supplements… In Blue Zones areas around the world, longevity happens to people. It’s the result of the right environment that constantly nudges them into moving more, eating more plants and beans while eating less meat and sugar, socializing with the right people and living out their values. It’s that simple, really.

Residents of the Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica, prioritise friendship and family, and they almost never work extra hours if it means they have to forego a good party. They also foster ‘plan de vida’ or ‘a reason to live’.

In Loma Linda, California, the strong sense of purpose, day of rest, no-smoking policy, and healthy diet practices of the local Seventh Day Adventist community has rubbed off on the health of the whole town.

Residents of the mountainous villages of Sardinia, Italy and the Greek island of Ikaria, nap, fast, grow their own food, and drink wine daily with friends. It’s thought the clean air, warm breezes and rugged terrain of the Mediterranean islands draw locals outdoors to move naturally.

The residents of the Japanese islands of Okinawa, home to the world’s longest living women, are dedicated to family. Okinawans practice ‘Hara hachi bu’, a reminder to stop eating when they’re 80% full, ‘Ikigai’, which roughly translates to “Why I wake up in the morning,” and form ‘Moais’, groups of five friends that remain committed to each other for live.

Buettner has distilled the lifestyle practices of Blue Zones into lessons for longevity. As he says, to make it to 100 you may have to “win the genetic lottery”, but the average person’s life expectancy can be increased by moving move, prioritising friends, family and social gatherings, eating less, drinking wine, and fostering a sense of purpose.

Sydney Centenarian Study lessons for longevity

Due to the rarity of extremely old folks, the Sydney Centenarian Study has partnered with a consortium of centenarian research teams from around the globe to pool their resources and data to enable more powerful conclusions to be drawn. Their data support the Blue Zones observations.

Charlene Levitan, who once headed up the Sydney Centenarian Study says,

What is emerging from the global research is that around 30% of longevity is contributed by genetics. The remaining 70% is to do with our lifestyle, which includes a healthy diet, exercise, and remaining socially integrated.

One of the strongest themes to emerge is related to the personality traits of resilience, adaptability and optimism.

Most of our centenarians will report optimism as a life-long personality characteristic.

This is an excerpt from my book The Women’s Brain Book.

  The post When does old age begin? (Part 1 of Your Brain at 100 series) appeared first on Your Brain Health.

When does old age begin? (Part 1 of Your Brain at 100 series) published first on https://familycookwareshop.tumblr.com/

[cwebberphotography]

Two New YouTube videos: https://youtu.be/ipOWwYufwa4

Holi is the festival of colours. It’s also the day I chose to take a break from Pokhara. After breakfast I got a ride on Nirmal’s motor bike to the bus stop. I didn’t get a seat for about 20 minutes so I bumped around in the isle. Then I walked four hours up to Panchase. Got lost, stopped a lot.  I asked directions a couple times and when I got to Green Village I was pulled in for a tea and dal baht. Arjun said if I stay a week it would be 700 NPR/night for a room and three meals a day plus all the tea I can drink.  Now I have lots of time to meditate explore, photograph, sit with the cats and watch them make food in the Gurung kitchen.

There are no decorations in this place. Mud walls and floors a fire on the ground some pots and pans and stools five inches off the ground. Somehow everything is possible in the kitchen. They have a big pot that acts as the sink/compost which they feed to the buffalo once a day. And running water outside that comes out glacier cold. After lunch I walked the trail to one of many Shiva Temples. Lots of good view points and half way up stopped in a secluded spot to meditate on a rock. Found a tree and put my hand on it to see if it would speak to me. It just said he was old as time immemorial. When I came back at sunset it was raining and hailing so I went by the fire and the cool cat warmed my lap while they made dinner. Eventually my legs fell asleep and thankfully the cat moved off. Then slowly the life blood came flowing back again. They hired a carpenter from the next village to stay there and make 20 bee hives and furniture. He was treated like a second class citizen the entire time, he ate last, only millet and dal, usually outside or on the floor away from everyone else and had his own plates and cup…I thought he was a slow neighbour at first as he chatted on about god-knows.  While eating he was striking all sorts of poses he was also drinking lots of local wine.

Soon I’m off to bed. Shuba raatri. What stars aren’t clouded over are completely over taken by the brightness of the full moon. Made even more powerful by the lack of power on top of the mountain.

A letter to the man who just arrived: This place will eat you alive. If you let it. You may leave a different person. You may not like the long cold nights and the silence of the days may cause a blissful malaise. Bamboo forests and fires in the distance. Dusk in the meadow. Hermits who don’t wave back, abandoned foundations and empty river crossings. Cow bells hidden by mountain passes. Himalayas tower over me tall with white clouds blown over, smeared across time from day break to now, they stand watch in the North over tiny galaxies in the leaves.

The higher I get the better I feel. Nepal is the top of the world. This place just got a road in 2012 and electricity is also new. I can take an evening stroll and see nothing but the view. The stars shine bright and the food is fresh within a few feet. There are no preservatives no refrigerator and the air and water are clean. The only voices I hear are miles away.

The sun emits radio waves through the vacuum of space. Exactly two months into this trip. Two months ago I left home now I’m in a cave in Nepal in a mountain in the forest with my feet up. I see maybe three or four people everyday. Wake with the sun. Ma lights two incense and makes tea and I stretch and gaze at the Himalayas. Wash my face and eat breakfast then walk into the mountains to find Shiva temples and small caves. Pink and red rhododendron trees line the path. Sit in the sun. nap on a stoop, my jacket packs into little pillow. Smell of wet green forest and only the sound of birds and falling leaves occasional bees and far away single engine airplanes. I’ve had too much dal baht. Probably eaten my weight in rice. Singing Om with John Lennon listening to Let It Be the sun dries my tears as I descend the mountain. Several Beatles references this week have brought back the thought that as time goes on coincidences and synchronisities will grow as well. The song Across the Universe has new meaning for me now as Lennon sings the mantra Jay Guru Deva and then says Om.

Fog straddled the mountain and caressed it from all angles. As I pass flowers after flowers and my path is lined with red pedals the smell of a woman enters my nostrils and I know it’s no woman but the fragrance of God and it’s he who makes all the beautiful women smell as good as they do. Without flowers there would be no perfume.

Green Village guest house is at least 25 years old. Arjun’s grandma’s older brother lived in town and lost everything in a card game so he came here where there were only a few buffalo farmers. He built the original place and lived here 50 years before he was robbed and returned to town. Slowly his family moved up the mountain and started the first tea house and added to it as others came to make a full-fledged ‘hotel’. I had a lot of questions for Arjun, he said they go to town once a month for supplies sometimes less sometimes more. Sometimes they’re without power for months at a time and before the road his aunt would walk both ways.

Today I was caught in the rain. Turned hail storm. I sat under a tree to stay as dry as possible then continued to shoot. Someone who knows Nama the Mother is here now. He’s my age and working in England and is home visiting for a funeral. He says he’s Buddhist and could not do vipassana because he’s not strong enough.

Bishal left this morning after another good talk.  Also my phone is dead and there is no sign of power coming back on. We had breakfast around 6:30 and lunch after 10 a.m. Between we chatted about London, meditation, smoking, family, LSD, books, music and getting together in Pokhara. His family caste is from Himalayas, the Gurung warrior caste, and have been with the British Army for 200 years. He told me two stories of vipassana he’s heard. One was his friend ran away early on the third day and another friend did it and told his long time girlfriend after that he had been cheating and also has a wife. Today I saw Ma with a pile of buffalo shit in her hand walking down the path.

Woke at six and had a millet pancake which includes five teaspoons of sugar, water, eggs and honey on top. The moon is still high in the sky as the sun rises. Mountains are invisible and the sky is blue. The dew and condensation drops from the roof and ceiling as the local news plays on the radio and the dude hammers away at bee hives. I went to a part of the mountain with no birds or bees or breeze and felt complete silence. It’s fleeting and actually deafening. After it disappeared I was happy to hear again. Ok with the radio, the birds and bees the chatter in any language was welcome. Here I’m able to meditate all day and stretch and read and be 100% in nature all the time. Best of all I have no worries. No worries of the future or present. All my food and shelter are taken care of, my toilet, clothes, TV time at night when there is power. Even without power or electricity I’m fine and happy.

Occasional sense desires come but that’s why I’m here. To get away from cake and chips and jungle talkies and tourists because soon enough my life will be turned upside down in Japan and Kathmandu. Monday of this week like the last 10 at least have come and gone without a whimper. Just a smile if I realize which day it is. It truly is your job you hate not a certain day of the week.

After an hour sit in my room I walked the path to Arthur and found a spot to sit in the sun. Stopping every 10 feet to smell a new smell or listen or stare far away and regain my long distance sight which dissolves in the confines of a city. Seeing people on these trails is as rare as seeing a moose in Canada. I heard people have around 60,000 thoughts (conscious and subconscious) a day and 95% of them are the same as yesterday. We are all writing our stories day by day. I would like for mine to have no repeats.

It’s Thursday, yesterday I had a hot water bucket bath and today I did my laundry which may never dry. As I walked the ridge I could hear two women in the bush and figured they were pruning trees for buffalo like the woman I came across on the way up, way up in a tree. After sitting I heard them closer, then saw four human size bunches of leaves go down the path laughing and chatting along. These people are masters of camouflage.

After an afternoon nap, out my window a man and Ma were carrying wood on their foreheads and dumping it. She’s old and he’s older and I found myself watching thinking maybe they’d let me stack the wood. I asked Arjun and he said go ahead and grab a basket. If she can do it so can I. Now she’s stacking and he’s carrying so I grab a basket and start. After 1.5 hours working bare foot the pile disappeared. It’s hard work, and if you stop paying attention to what you’re doing for one second you can really hurt yourself. That night I had two roxies (local wine) and watched the Waterboy until her Hindi soaps came on.

Pani is water. Jaro is cold. Basa means sit. Chiya is tea. Chiini is sugar.

Second last day a man from Vancouver came and we talked most of the time. He’s 44 has a house and family. Works for the city as an engineer and micro-doses LSD and mushrooms for ideas and to stay fresh. He said he couldn’t live without meditating before bed. I said I also enjoy it. On the walk down Ram Dass said meditation is a method and a trap. You need to become trapped in it for it to work but ultimately it is a method and should be dropped. The goal is not to be a meditator but to be free.

The days are long and life is short. I take it one hour at a time. I love laughing with Nama and Arjun. I could live in this area but it’s changing fast. The road is starting to be used more and people searching for solitude are all coming here. Today a picnic bus came with people crammed in and over flowing onto the roof.

After a long walk I went to warm up and watch the festivities. As soon as I sat down two guys grabbed me and forced me to dance a fast song. I danced with an old man who looks like Gandhi with foggy glasses and missing teeth. My reward was some of the best food I’ve had to date.

Thankful to be traveling alone and for strangers who dance.

      Seven days in Bhangjyang Two New YouTube videos: Holi is the festival of colours. It's also the day I chose to take a break from Pokhara.

[ulrichfoester]

When does old age begin? (Part 1 of Your Brain at 100 series)

This is part 1 of a series examing lessons in brain health learned from our elders — those folk who lived the longest and healthiest.

We’ve living longer, but how do our aging brains fare? 

To answer this question, I’ve looked to two sources — those exceptionally old folks who remain in robust physical and mental health till the very end of their lives, and our evolutionary past.

Over millennia, Mother Nature equipped us to survive and thrive in the wild. Our brains evolved such that from womb to the tomb we’re required to move, eat well, sleep, immerse ourselves in nature, avoid stress, love and befriend, and seek meaning. These requirements neatly map onto the principles of everyday life followed by the world’s longest living people.

    When does old age begin?

We can’t seem to make up our minds, and the older we get, the further we move the goalposts marking the last season of our lives.

A 2009 survey of Americans asked participants when they believed someone grew ‘old’.

Young folks in their twenties believed said old age began at 60. Those under 50 put the threshold closer to 70, whereas those 65 and above said that the average person does not become old until turning 74.

Getting old wasn’t nearly as bad as people think it will be. Nor was it quite as good.

On the downside, one in four adults ages 65 surveyed reported memory loss. One in five had a serious illness, are no longer sexually active, or often feel sad or depressed, lonely or have trouble paying bills. One in ten felt like a burden.

On the upside, the same group said they have more time for hobbies, travel, volunteer work, and more financial security. Of all the good things about getting old, the best by far, according to older adults, is being able to spend more time with family members.

“Am I Old? Certainly not!”

One of my boys said to me recently he couldn’t imagine me as a little girl and how did it feel to finally be “old”. I told him I feel the same now as I did when I was 10.

“Am I Old? Certainly not!” This was the answer survey respondents gave too.

In fact, the older they got, the younger they said they feel. About half of those under 30 said they felt their age. But those who were 75 and older? Just 35% say they feel “old”.

It seems we remain on intimate terms with our much younger selves — I sometimes wonder how ten-year old me suddenly became forty-three?

We enter the end of our lifespan with our past woven intimately into our biology.

From birth, our neural architecture is shaped by life’s ups and downs, the decisions we made, the places where we lived, worked and learned, the meaning we’ve derived, and who we loved, gave life to, and travelled with through time. How we spend our early years will determine how we age.

More and more of us are living to into old age, and there has never been a better time in which to do so. Our large clever human brains have bequeathed us with modern medicine and tools with which we manage our reproductive health, avoid maternal and neonatal death, vaccinate against disease, prevent pain, treat infection and some cancers, and perform surgery if required.

One hundred years ago, women lived barely long enough to see out their 50s. A baby girl born today can expect to live to see out the first decades of the 22nd century.

Uncovering the secrets of exceptional longevity

On February 21, 1875, one year before the Alexander Graham Bell filed his patent for the telephone, a baby girl, Jeanne Louise Calment was born in Arles, France. She was alive to witness the invention of the aeroplane, cinema, and on a trip to Paris saw the Eiffel tower being built. When she was 13, Jeanne met Vincent Van Gogh; although apparently, she was less than impressed saying he was ”…very ugly, ungracious, impolite, sick…”.

In 1997, the same year Princess Diana died, Calment finally passed away. She was 122 years and 164 days old. Although blind, almost deaf, and confined to a wheelchair, Calment reportedly remained spirited and “alert as a hummingbird” till the end. The French called her “la doyenne de l’humanitè” (the elder of humankind) and she still holds the record for the world’s longest ever living human (although this has been recently challenged).

In April 2017, the latest longevity record holder, Emma Martina Luigia Morano of Vercelli, Italy, died aged 117. Born in November 1899, Morano was the last known living person who was born in the 1800s. According to the Guinness Book of Records, Morano followed the same extraordinary diet for around 90 years: three eggs per day (two raw, one cooked), fresh Italian pasta, and a dish of raw meat. The current longevity crown belongs to Polish Holocaust survivor Israel Kristal, who celebrated his 113th birthday in September 2017.

Once rare as diamonds, the oldest of the old are the fastest growing sector of our global population.

If you were born in 1900, the odds of living till age 100 were less than 1 in a million, and few people lived long enough see out the 1950s. For girls born into wealthy countries today, the odds of blowing out 100 candles on a cake are roughly 1 in 50.

Israel Kristal claims he doesn’t know the secret of his long life.

I believe that everything is determined from above and we shall never know the reasons why. There have been smarter, stronger and better-looking men then me who are no longer alive. All that is left for us to do is to keep on working as hard as we can and rebuild what is lost.

When asked her secrets, Jeanne Calment attributed her longevity to immunity to stress and a good attitude,

I wasn’t afraid of anything. I was often reproached for that … I took pleasure when I could, I acted clearly and morally and without regret. I’m very lucky.

Calment reportedly ate more than two pounds of chocolate a week, treated her skin with olive oil, rode a bicycle until she was 100, and only quit smoking when she was 117 because she became too proud to ask someone else to light her cigarettes. Known for her wit, she is widely reported as saying,

I’ve never had but one wrinkle, and I’m sitting on it.

Hard work, raw eggs, biking, and no regrets. We clamour to learn their secrets, and typically the oldest of the old love to share their long-won wisdom. Calment once quipped.

I wait. For death and journalists.

Blue Zones lessons for longevity

In another longevity project, National Geographic writer Dan Buettner together Professor Michel Poulain famously described five ‘Blue Zones’ around the globe where the residents live to exceptional old age. Despite being very different parts of the world, there are commonalities to the resident’s lifestyles.

Their longevity has nothing to do with brute discipline, diets, exercise programs or supplements… In Blue Zones areas around the world, longevity happens to people. It’s the result of the right environment that constantly nudges them into moving more, eating more plants and beans while eating less meat and sugar, socializing with the right people and living out their values. It’s that simple, really.

Residents of the Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica, prioritise friendship and family, and they almost never work extra hours if it means they have to forego a good party. They also foster ‘plan de vida’ or ‘a reason to live’.

In Loma Linda, California, the strong sense of purpose, day of rest, no-smoking policy, and healthy diet practices of the local Seventh Day Adventist community has rubbed off on the health of the whole town.

Residents of the mountainous villages of Sardinia, Italy and the Greek island of Ikaria, nap, fast, grow their own food, and drink wine daily with friends. It’s thought the clean air, warm breezes and rugged terrain of the Mediterranean islands draw locals outdoors to move naturally.

The residents of the Japanese islands of Okinawa, home to the world’s longest living women, are dedicated to family. Okinawans practice ‘Hara hachi bu’, a reminder to stop eating when they’re 80% full, ‘Ikigai’, which roughly translates to “Why I wake up in the morning,” and form ‘Moais’, groups of five friends that remain committed to each other for live.

Buettner has distilled the lifestyle practices of Blue Zones into lessons for longevity. As he says, to make it to 100 you may have to “win the genetic lottery”, but the average person’s life expectancy can be increased by moving move, prioritising friends, family and social gatherings, eating less, drinking wine, and fostering a sense of purpose.

Sydney Centenarian Study lessons for longevity

Due to the rarity of extremely old folks, the Sydney Centenarian Study has partnered with a consortium of centenarian research teams from around the globe to pool their resources and data to enable more powerful conclusions to be drawn. Their data support the Blue Zones observations.

Charlene Levitan, who once headed up the Sydney Centenarian Study says,

What is emerging from the global research is that around 30% of longevity is contributed by genetics. The remaining 70% is to do with our lifestyle, which includes a healthy diet, exercise, and remaining socially integrated.

One of the strongest themes to emerge is related to the personality traits of resilience, adaptability and optimism.

Most of our centenarians will report optimism as a life-long personality characteristic.

This is an excerpt from my book The Women’s Brain Book.

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