#ur like. tortoiseshell or brown to me

[nivasichakano]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ Modern AU YouTuber BloodWeave ✧₊⁺⋆☾⋆.˚₊✩

Me: Wouldn't it be funny if Mystra (under the alias "LadyOfMysteries") is on all the Gale Discords and reblogs horny Gale content on her Tumblr. @astraliaa & @bluebeebalmwrites: *proceed to create an entire nuanced YouTuber BloodWeave modern AU narrative over the course of the next hour* ~ I had to write it. ~ Astarion lies in the dark of his room, the only light the artificial glow of his phone, illuminating his face. His eyes narrow as he taps ‘play’.

“Hello again!” A tinny, almost muffled voice rings out cheerily. The man on the screen is about the same age as Astarion, perhaps a little older. He has long-ish brown hair scruffily tied back in a half bun, stubble, and large, tortoiseshell glasses. He's wearing the most heinous purple fleece. From what Astarion can see behind the man, he looks to be sitting in a fairly cluttered kitchen.

Astarion skips ahead in the video. Ten minutes in — ten minutes — the man says, “Anyhow, back to today’s Five Things About Magic video! This time, I’m going to look at five spells absolutely anyone can master. Even you!” The man points into the camera in a way that makes Astarion want to die. 

“First up, we’ve got a really easy one. This is a very handy little cantrip for lighting candles, getting the hob going, seeing in the dark, and so on. Obviously, at higher levels, it gets a bit more dangerous but we don’t need to worry about that just yet. Okay, here it is.” The man tilts his chin down, smiling into the camera before flicking his fingers at a candle on the table in front of him. “Ignis.”

The wick flares into life and the man winks. “See? Simple. And very manageable for anyone to get to grips with, even your granny who always regretted never learning magic will be able to grasp this one!”

Fire bolt is the only cantrip Astarion can do. Grimacing, he skips ahead again. The whole thing is about 45 minutes long. At one point, the entire screen goes blank as the wizard’s phone falls flat without him realizing. The video ends as he’s halfway through rounding up the information for the sixth cantrip on his list. In his Five Things video. Astarion doesn’t know why, but this grates on him even more than the hideous picture quality.

As he always does, Astarion tortures himself by obsessively refreshing the page, watching the likes go up exponentially. The wizard only just posted the video — at 1am on a weekday ffs — and the likes are already in the thousands. Astarion knows that, by this time tomorrow, they'll be in the millions. 

He scrolls down and flicks through the comments, just to fuel the acidic rage in his chest.

GalesGal: Tysm professor! Amazing lesson as always! <3

WhatsMyMageAgain: can’t wait to start trying these, thx for making magic so accessible

LadyOfMysteries: Looking good as always professor! ;) <3

He gets through hundreds of comments before he can find a single negative one. 

Popper78656: yeh ‘free magic for the ppl’ but still happy to monetize Ur content aren't you. Hipocrit 

Astarion feels a pleasant little twist of schadenfreude and taps on the replies. 

WizardOfWaterdeep: Hi there! Many thanks for your comment! Yes, this channel is monetized but all proceeds go to the Mites of Mystra charity, which helps bring magic tuition to disadvantaged kids. Thanks for your donation :)

Astarion's lip curls. This. Fucking. Guy. 

A notification distracts him and he opens the latest video on his own channel, a timelapse of the gorgeous gown he created for a drag friend. Weeks of work. He still feels proud watching it. 

There's a new comment.

Yolohump: love this! Sent you a DM, possible opportunity

Heart fluttering with excitement, Astarion taps on his messages.

Yolohump: u r SEW beautiful ;) wanna f**k?

Astarion lets out a groan and throws his phone across the room, burying his head in his pillow. 

[storm-of-silver]

CLIMBS INTO UR ASKBOX

tell me about hawk pls

YOU'VE OPENED PANDORAS BOX HEHE

I'll actually have to go back and edit the intro post bc i dont think i mentioned it, but during the Final Light, the Colony of Mist actually survived! Sorta. They were the last colony to get hit since they live high in the mountains, and they were able to see the other colonies getting attacked before the broken ones got close to them.

Since they had time to react, the commander decided to go to drastic measures and ordered the collapse of the cave entrance to their settlement. It'd protect them from the broken ones, but they'd be sealed in the mountains (at least, until they dug their way out). Problem was, they needed cats on the outside to trigger the collapse- someone had to get separated and face the broken ones alone.

[Image ID: Two images of roughly the same character. The first image, drawn by may- on TH, shows a canine with black, cream, and orange fur. The second, the redesign, shows a tortoiseshell tom with brown eyes. There are three scars in a line on his side. End ID]

Queue Talon of Hawk- Wing of Hawk at the time! Up until the Final Light, he was perfectly happy with his life and was a role model to other trainees. Hardworking, honorable, kind, loyal, and with a strong sense of justice, he was mostly known for being a dependable cat with a heart of gold.

It ended up being his downfall of sorts though; The second the commander asked for volunteers, Hawk stepped up to the task immediately. His friend, Eyes of Storm, joined him right after, along with two others who looked up to Hawk. The two cats who joined him died triggering the landslide, and Storm was caught by a broken one a few days later. With the fate of the Colony of Mist buried under layers and layers of stone, Hawk was the last member of the Colony of Mist.

For two years he wandered, joining any small group he could, before finally joining the Colony of Clickers (a post-FL group, they use clicking ones/robots to protect themselves! I'll be making a post on the neverlight era factions eventually). The leader/commander, Voice of Snow, gave Hawk the epithet of 'Talon' in honor of his devotion to his colony. He numbly accepted the new title, the reminder of what he had saved and had lost.

He settled in, having craved the comfort of a colony life, but he can't help but feel completely alone now. The Colony of Clickers has hints of every colony, all of them but his. In his attempt to protect his home, he lost it all completely- and he'd never change a thing. His colony is safe, and even if he'll never see it again, he can rest easy knowing he did the right thing.

While other characters prooobably have more going on with them (looks at literally all the neverlight era leaders and commanders), Hawk fills the "normal guy" role which happens to be one of my favorite character tropes. He's in a cat faction that controls a bunch of robots to protect themselves from quadrupedal slendermen and he is COMPLETELY aware how bonkers it is. He's also just a kind guy who really doesn't have trouble figuring out whats 'right' or 'wrong'- closest he'll ever get is having trouble deciding between following the Sacred Decree or his heart and feelings.

Also since he's the last Colony of Mist member, he actually got dibs on naming the current era. The Colony of Mist is THE authority on naming important events and since there was no one else to name it, everyone was like "OH GREAT KNOWER OF HISTORY, TELL US YOUR WISDOM" and Hawk panicked and went "uhhh theres no light. ever. So the Neverlight Era? Ok get out of my lodgings now please-"

[panszy]

6, 7 and 8?

6. Your parents

i get along well with both of them, my dad especially! me and my mom don’t uhh always see things in the same way, she’s good to go to if u want solid advice but bad to go to if u want any form of comfort. my dad’s one of the few people i can talk to for hours and not run out of conversation.

7. Your siblings

my younger sister emma is 18, opinionated on absolutely everything and even more stubborn than i am, she’s a bit of a challenge lmfao! she’s probably the funniest person i know with a super biting sarcastic sense of humour, and she’s also very good to go to for advice (and she’ll help u bury the body), but she can also be really quite mean for no real reason and just doesn’t know when to quit

8. Your pets

get ready for a ramble lmao i love talking abt my cats So Much

cookie is a beautiful fat tabby who always begs for whatever i’m making (tea, onions, mushrooms, peppers.... she’s not fussy) but she especially loves cheese and butter. she also sulks a lot and u kno when she’s mad at u bc she sits with her back deliberately facing u, and she shows u her beautiful teeth a lot, and she loves having her tummy tickled and oh man she’s just so fucking cute it’s unreal

chip is a very small dark tortoiseshell with big eyes and normal cat sized ears that look way too big on her lmao, she meows and chats to u all the damn time she’s so loud, and articulate as well!! she grasses up other cats (she once went to tell my mom that cookie was on the kitchen counter where she’s not allowed) and she frequently tells us to change the weather when it’s raining and she wants to play. she loves my sister a lot and my sister also loves her a lot, they both play manipulative games with each other and it’s hilarious (like when chip’s mad at emma she’ll deliberately go on my bed to piss her off), she really likes to play, she’s another Adorable One

i’ve also had 3 other cats, two who passed away and one who ran away. ufton was our first cat, a small-ish tabby (i think she was a tabby?) and she was actually the most vicious fucking cat ever, my mom had to warn other children not to pet her bc she’d always bite them and she didn’t do warning bites, she also once tried to kill my dad, she was the actual best and we all miss her v much. we didn’t have tiffin for very long, she was a black and white cat with loads of whiskers and the most high pitched mew ever, she was really cute but also pretty vicious, she used to bully cookie a lot before she ran away. fizz passed away in november, she was a brown and white mostly deaf cat who had no teeth and an eye that was always oozing... something (she was really badly abused before we got her and as such was a really unhealthy cat). she was actually the sweetest cat ever, almost dog like, so needy for affection that u’d touch her head with ur finger and she wouldn’t leave u alone for an hour. she was adorable and we lost her way too soon.