#vape advertisements could never

[scuderlia]

one of my absolute favourite pieces of f1 lore is how Ferrari and Marlboro tried to get around the EU ban on tobacco advertising/sponsorship by creating a 'barcode' logo that resembled the original cigarette pack design when viewed with motion blur

SOME RELATED ARTICLES (marlboro x f1, livery design, tobacco insignia):

'The evolution of Scuderia Ferrari's Marlboro in F1' (Motorlat)

'ferrari to remove 'marlboro barcode'' (designboom)

'The. Sneakiest. Design. Ever.' (Graphicology)

'Up in smoke: end of the Marlboro money that lit up F1' (Motor Sport Magazine)

'Marlboro in Formula 1: King size allies' (Motor Sport Magazine) *paywall*

'Ferrari Scraps Barcode Logo' (The Wall Street Journal) *paywall*

[littlemisslipbalm]

Demonology: Me & My Dog

Series Summary: A new demon has come to Nashville. Josh and Jake's ways of life have been thrown off by her arrival. The angel and demon have lived with an understanding of one another, but with Y/N stirring up trouble and asking questions, they're forced to work out a new normal. And why is she so powerful for a human turned demon anyway, that's unusual, right?

Jake Kiszka x f!reader and Josh Kiszka x f!reader

A/N: This will be at least three parts! This first part is more about Josh and the reader, the second will be more Jake and then we will see with part 3 what is to happen. Please let me know what you think with comments and reblogs and messages to my inbox!! I want to talk about this bc I have been so excited to share it!!

Word Count: 5.4k | Warnings: alcohol consumption, strong language, allusions to sex - minor descriptions of sex but not descriptive smut (still 18+!!), dubious comprehension of angel/demon mythology, like this is fiction fr so if it does not make sense i am sorry but idc (but am also open to suggestions thx)

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Part 1: My & My Dog

When being told to stir up some trouble on Earth, Y/N was more annoyed that she had to go back at all than excited that she was moving up in the ranks. Afterall, she’d only died 50 years ago. It was already time to go back? She thought she had eternity down here. 

From what she’d heard from other members of the underworld, it’d just gotten worse since she’d left. Prior to 1976 had been a riot for her (1976 was not her favorite, but dying usually wasn’t in people’s top ten greatest moments), but now it sounds worse than Hell itself.  

Still, like a good little demon soldier, she trudged through the dim back rooms to find the dull office that would provide her with the necessary documents to take a corporeal form and inhabit the physical sphere for an extended period of time. 

“Can I bring my dog?” She asks, kicking at a piece of garbage on the floor. It littered the entire ground around her feet. 

“Dog?” The servant of hell inquired. 

“Chupacabra,” She corrects.

“Sure,” Their eyes raise from filling out the paperwork to the little animal beside her. “Extra form you need to both sign. Says he’ll suck the blood of at least five animals per earthly week while he’s there. We don’t do ESAs here.”  

“Fab,” She sighed in relief and scratched behind the ears of her dog that she had re-encountered shortly after arriving in Hell. 

The chupacabra placed his paw in some mysterious blood that had formed in the pewter catch-all dish sitting beside the papers and then pushed it onto the form. Signed, sealed and soon to be delivered. They were getting out of Hell. 

-

When she materialized on Earth, she wasn’t sure where she was exactly. The home office didn’t give that information, you just had to figure it out yourself. She had been hoping for her hometown of Los Angeles or another major city center she’d never been to before. Maybe London or Tokyo would be a fun change of pace. 

After walking what felt like 20 miles, but was probably half of that given that she wasn’t used to physical legs anymore, she came upon a sign as to where she was. A mural to be exact. 

It had only been woods and fields for the first half, but then there were more buildings. Coffee shops, bagel shops and something that was called a ‘Vape’ shops. Everything advertised themselves as historic music sites. But it wasn’t until 1504 Demonbreun St. that she fully ascertained she was in the heart of Nashville, Tennessee. 

“Welcome to Nashville”

“Fuck yeah,” She smiled. A friend back in the day had been from here and told her about it a few times. It wasn’t a major capital city or home, but it was a city alright. And where there was nightlife, she was sure there could be trouble. 

She spent the rest of the day checking around her surroundings. Finding the place Hell had given her to lodge in. It wasn’t much but she remembered earthly delights and planned to spruce it up, give it a vibe. She wrote a note on the wall with a deep red pen she had brought with her a list of items she needed. Couch, rug, bed, posters, an electric guitar and lots of wine and clothes. The ink dripped down the wall and she smiled, swiping at it and placing it to her lips. 

She passed the rest of the daylight hours with great displeasure for the living people around her who barely seemed to notice her. Not that she looked any different than them, but it just bothered her that no one was as friendly as when she’d last been here. No one bothered to say ‘hello’, all they did was stare or talk into their rectangular devices she had realized were portable telephones half way through the day. 

Broadway St. seemed to be the place Y/N thought she’d find the most possible trouble. It was lit up like the Sunset and if it weren’t for all the horribly dressed people surrounding her, she would’ve felt right at home. 

At one of the bars, she got free shots from the bartender with a flash of her eyes. From the regular dark brown iris, they flashed an entire eternal glassy black. He smiled dreamily in the abyss and walked away after she winked at him. She swung back the shots and made her way to the dance floor. 

Raising her hands above her head, she began to dance. Her black lace dress hugged her curves and shifted with her. Her silver jewelry glinted dangerously as she moved. The lights in the bar shifted to stay red instead of the flashing multi-colors that had bothered her when she entered. She moved her hips to the music and slowly it transformed from a poppy song she didn’t know to Led Zeppelin. 

Robert Plant’s voice got everyone dancing the way they should and the vapes transformed into cigarettes and she smiled to herself feeling alive for the first time in a long time. Maybe being back wasn’t so bad. She drank more and danced more and saw people getting drunk and making out in corners and thought debauchery worked as trouble. Job done for the day. 

She relaxed into the sway of the music, writhing around like a snake as her skin grew dewey with perspiration. A tug at her arm brought her out of her euphoric state. All night she had made sure no one would bother her, but whoever this was didn’t seem to follow her rules. 

She opened her eyes, fully black once more as she stared at who was holding her wrist. She tugged back but his hold was secure. He pulled her to the side of the dancefloor, a space conveniently opening up. 

“Get your hands off me! What the fuck, man?”

“You can’t be here,” He spoke calmly. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. He had on a white plain t-shirt and light wash jeans, with opalescent beads hanging around his neck. His eyes were an oddly familiar light brown. His hair was shaved on the sides, creating a sort of mullet that she mildly appreciated if he hadn’t been so rude as to pull her away from her fun. That mullet exposed the golden earrings in his pointy ears. 

There was something different about him. None of it was in his physical form but she felt it, vibrating and extending around him. As if he had invisible light passing around and through him even in the dark dingy bar lighting. 

“Says who?” She finally tugged her arm free from his hold and crossed her arms across her chest, pressing her breasts up in the process. 

His eyes flicker to the movement before pressing his lips into a thin line “Says me.” 

She rolled her eyes, unimpressed. “And you are?” 

“Joshua. I protect this town," he says. He wrings his hands around the gold bracelets on his wrists. “You can’t come into these bars and just mess with everything about them. It’s wrong.” 

“Yes I can, Josh,” She smirks. “I’m a demon as you clearly already can tell. I can do whatever I want.” 

“Oh my God,” Josh sighs, exasperated already. “There’s already a demon here.” He knew the other one quite well and was at least able to keep him in check. A newcomer would mean more work. 

She shrugged. “Not my problem, angel. Hell sent me up here, guess they’re not happy with the other one’s performance.” 

She moved to go back to the bar for another drink when Josh looked like he was a million miles away. He’d really killed her buzz. Josh’s mentioning of another demon made her stop and ask as an afterthought: “What’s this other demon’s name?” 

“Jacob–er, uh, Jake,” Josh corrects himself. He hadn’t gone by Jacob since, well, since before, even if Josh wished he could just call him Jacob. 

“Groovy.” Her smile is wicked, her lips painted a red so deep it resembled dried blood. “Displeasure meeting you, angel. Come find me if you ever want to have a real good time.” She kissed his cheek before disappearing behind a group of people. 

-

Two weeks later, Y/N was seated on a bench in the park with her legs kicked up. She looked like she was a dead body–which more or less, she was, but the way she was sitting was unusual for someone who was supposedly alive. Her dog was perched unnaturally along the backrest, soaking in the sun he had missed. They looked out of place. 

She had come out in the midday to see if she could start any fights in the park. She’d quickly learned that malfunctions with their little handheld phones really upset the modern humans so she liked to mess with wifi and electrical connections every odd day or so just to keep up the no-good work. 

Her black RayBans covered her eyes as they surveyed the green grass for potential targets for a bit of a row. She sat as far away from the people as possible, so she had enhanced her vision as if using a zoom function. But soon something white blocked her vision. 

“Angel,” She practically growled. Her dog actually growled, sitting up. 

“Mind if I sit,” Josh asks pleasantly, eyeing the dog with caution. It looked like a normal dog, but a clip in his right ear and a strange red shimmer in his eyes made Josh think there might be something hellish about him. 

She took her feet off the bench and pushed her sunglasses up off of her face. “Finally want a taste of what you’re missing?” 

“No,” he states flatly. His eyes were still wandering between the creature and the demon. She was dressed in all black, typical. The dog was between cream and the lightest brown he’d ever seen, atypical. “Is this your dog?” 

“Yeah.” She smiles softly for the first time. Her hand goes to pet him between his ears and down his small snout. “He was waiting for me in Hell back’n the day. They made him a chupacabra for me as a ‘Welcome to Hell’ present.” 

Josh’s eyes widened in surprise. What had she done in life to receive a present in Hell? “They like you down there?” 

“Eh…I think I’m just a descendant of many a troublemaker. They knew I’d be an asset, especially when I arrived so early.” 

Her dog slipped into her lap. For a moment, he shifted as he stared at Josh. Big ruby eyes glowered at him, all his hair was gone, leaving something more resembling a pale soft dog-rat. Disturbing and wretched, nonetheless. He wrinkled his nose at Josh. 

Josh tried to smile, feeling awkward. Jake had insisted he find this demon Josh had encountered, needing more information about whether he was really in trouble or if it was procedural. Why Jake wouldn’t do it himself, Josh never got as many answers as questions he asked. 

“Do either of you have names?” 

She grinned. “Is this twenty questions? Why so interested in me?” 

“Just want to get to know my opposition,” Josh says lightly, praying for her to feel extra kind today. Afterall, she was a demon who was originally human and it was only a little while ago from what she seemed to like. He was pretty sure she’d only been down in Hell for 50-60 years, that was barely a human lifetime—and yet it was longer than hers. Far less than Jake. Maybe he could neutralize her, get her to see the bright side. 

“His name is Rune, now, but it used to be Rori.” She rubs over the dog’s hair, happy that he was softer on Earth. “He responds to both–for me. Not sure what he should be called now we’re back.” 

Josh waited patiently. The breeze was cooler than usual and looking at her, he had to assume it was her as well. She seemed far too powerful for a run-of-the-mill demon who used to be human. But she also seemed extremely unlikely to answer his questions if he got too personal. 

With her eyes uncovered, Josh watched them move around as she thought about something. It was almost like she was tracking something or doing some long form math equation in her head. Like she didn’t know what her name was and was looking for the answer. 

“Mine…well, now you can call me Sal.” She winks and Josh straightens in his seat, feeling strange. “Gonna write about me in your diary now, Joshua?” 

Josh pretends to laugh with a clipped “ha ha.” She smirked again, sliding closer to Josh on the bench. Rori grew annoyed and hopped off her lap, slinking off to climb a tree in hopes of finding a squirrel. Sal extended a delicate hand to Josh’s shoulder, beginning to play with the fabric of his shirt. He smiled tightly, not having anywhere to go if he wanted more answers. 

“You said you arrived early?” Josh’s voice is high as he feels her touch moving down his arm. Thankfully, being an angel kept him from feeling her entire influence, but her physical touch was enough to feel something…unholy. He didn’t want to imagine her abilities on mortals. “What did you mean?” 

“You’re fun,” She beamed. “If I show you some tricks I picked up in Hell, will you show me something?” 

“It depends what you want to see,” Josh tries to be diplomatic. 

Her head throws back in laughter. “Not that. No, I want you to want me to see that.” Her hand wanders to his wrist and toys with the bracelet before slinking to his thigh. Her voice was low and sultry, lips pressed to his ear. “Desperately.” 

Josh was starting to feel like he might have to leave. His breathing had turned shallow and he couldn’t stop staring at the carnelian stone hanging between her breasts. Her hand’s touch left him and she laughed again bringing him out of his reverie. 

“Hell, you’re pretty cute…I was a 27 club member.” She shrugged, turning away from Josh to stare out at the people again. “Had my heyday in the late 60s/early 70s and went out the same way I lived. Fast.” 

Josh thought about the 60s and the 70s. He’d admit those decades were a bit of a guilty pleasure for him. Nashville had been fun, not as crowded. He watched her again, seeing her eyes narrow looking at the couples and the groups of friends. 

“You weren’t from here?” 

“LA. Broadway’s kinda like the Sunset Strip, just a bit more loser-y…NashVegas, just like Liv said.” 

Josh was about to protest, but refrained, letting her reminisce. She did miss her friends from back then. They’d gotten up to so much trouble. Sometimes too much. 

“Best of times, worst of times kind of thing y’a dig?” She tapped the heel of her boot like she was trying to shake off something unpleasant. “Just glad I had my dog for most of the time. He followed me everywhere and everyone’d let ‘im in because he was such a doll. Died ‘bout three years ‘fore me.”

The more she spoke the more her accent of a bygone era of California popped up. Josh couldn’t deny how sweet she sounded when she spoke about that thing, demonic as the pair of them were. 

“How long’ve you’ve been up–er, down here?” She asked, barely realizing she had to correct for him. 

Josh cast his eyes to the sky, thinking. “Since the beginning. That’s like, 8000 human years, I believe.” 

“Get the fuck outta town!” She exclaimed, jumping in her seat to face him. Her eyes were alight with hellfire. “You’re a proper angel then?” 

Josh chuckled. “They don’t really take new hires upstairs, I’m afraid. Only very special occasions. It doesn’t happen much these days.” 

She regarded him for a moment, inventorizing him again now that she deemed him far more interesting than before. “Yeah, I was on a special list when I came down. Only a few others in my line, everyone else had to wait in this huge waiting room. It was…repulsive and I’ve been in the alley behind the Whisky.” 

Josh tilted his head, looking over her once more. He felt like he should know her, but he couldn’t understand from where. She looked so familiar. Her hair seemed to shift every so often and he couldn’t be sure if it was the light or mood dependent. He didn’t prod at her mentioning the special treatment in Hell, didn’t want to alert her to the fact, that from what he knew, that was extremely rare.

“Have you told your demon friend about me yet?” She asked.

“He’s not my friend,” Josh responds automatically. 

Her eyebrows raise as she turns her head back to him, scanning him for understanding. A killer upon its prey. 

“Secret lover?” She guesses. 

Josh can’t hide his face of disgust. “Jesus! No!”

“Homophobic?” She asks with a look of distaste. Not being for the gays was so not groovy. Half the musicians she hung out with back in the day were gay. And she wasn’t one for choosing when it came to sexuality. 

“No!” Josh cries. “I am more than an ally to that cause, not that angels really have sexualities…it’s just.” He sighs, rubbing at his neck confusion. “He was, is–I don’t know, my twin.” 

“Oh!” She beams, eyes once again lighting up in intrigue. She enjoyed learning things, it helped for using it against people at the end of the day. “So he’s also a proper demon. Fell and all that.” 

“Yeah, don’t remind me.” He sounded pained, as if he was reliving the entire thing. 

“Wow…” She blows out a breath. “That must be funky.” 

She continued when Josh said nothing. “Y’know ‘cause he’s your brother but also he’s–” She finished her statement by sticking her pointer fingers through her hair and wiggling them around. 

“Yes, I am aware.” Josh shakes his head. 

She stood up and stretched her arms over her head, revealing her stomach below the flowy lace top she was wearing. “Great catch up, I guess, angel. Wanna trade tricks later? I’ve already worked through most of the main bars here and I’m getting bored.” Nothing was keeping her interest, since every place she had to transform into her liking. 

“You want to hang out with me? You want to hang out with an angel?” 

She grinned, turning around herself once before dropping her arms and stalking back towards Josh, standing directly in front of him. She leaned over him, watching him straighten his neck and swallow thickly. His eyes flickered from her face to the carnelian again. 

“Everyone else is too easy around here. I need a challenge.” Her lips were right in front of his. “You seem like the perfect remedy for a wayward soul like me.” 

-

Josh wasn’t exactly sure why he agreed to meet the demon at some speakeasy she said she needed to try. He wasn’t fully sold on calling her ‘Sal’, something about it felt off to him. She didn’t even really seem to care for it either. Jake, he knew, was vehement that he wished to be called Jake. 

Jake was probably why he had come to the back door of a pizza joint that was actually the door to the underground speakeasy. He’d asked for more information on her. When Josh had inquired why Jake couldn’t just do it himself, his twin finally fessed up that he was actually not currently in Nashville at all. Leaving the heavy lifting to Josh, like always. 

Begrudgingly, Josh entered another bar with plans to meet a demon. Heaven forgive him. It was smokey inside the brick-walled cavern. Small candles lit the tabletops and narrow bar top. A small dance floor was packed as people danced slowly to a jazz band. In the corner of the room, he saw her hair almost glowing in the dark and he made his way over. 

She was dressed in a black pantsuit, with no undershirt, just a black lace bra and her same necklace. Rori wasn’t present, from what Josh could see, but based on their conversation earlier he had a feeling the demon dog was around, lurking. 

She groaned when she saw what Josh was wearing. 

“Angel, man, do you have any other clothes besides that?” She shook her head in disappointment. 

“Of course I do,” Josh huffed, looking down at his clothes not understanding what was wrong with them. 

“Change.”

“I can’t perform miracles just to change my outfit. That’s wrong.” 

“That’s wrong, it’s wrong,” She parrots what she thought was becoming Josh’s mantra. “God, Heaven sounds so stifling.” She rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers with impatience.

In an instant, Josh was dressed in a red velvet jumpsuit with sequins around the neckline. His arms were on full display, muscles bulging while the velvet hugged his torso and lengthened his height. He smooths at his hair and feels something come off his skin. On his hand, he sees glitter. He looks at her again and then down at his new clothes. She was eyeing the bulge veering to his right thigh. 

“Much better.” She grins. 

Josh rolls his hand in front of him quickly, almost like a benediction, and once again his outfit has changed. Now, he was in a cream and grey jumpsuit that was far less flashy of his own with his favorite sigil emblazoned on the chest. He left the glitter and sat down. 

Her unamused look makes Josh feel a little hot with shame. 

“A little miracle to make sure I don’t look like a demon can be forgiven.” 

“You looked foxy but whatever.” She rolls her eyes and flicks a hand at the table, producing a bottle of red wine for both of them. “You drink, surely. C’mon, don’t act like your demon brother hasn’t corrupted a few of those precious angel feathers.” 

Josh can’t help the smile that falls over his face. Not sure what was so endearing about her at this moment. The romantic jazz might have something to do with it. He loved jazz. He takes the drink gratefully and they sip in companionable silence. She was subdued. 

With one bottle down, they start a second and this is when she offers to show Josh a trick if he’ll show her something again. He shrugs in compliance, feeling well on his way to drunk. 

“But won’t the other people in here see?” He adds. 

“No, they all know to mind their own business. Plus, it’s dark in here.” She winks and suddenly Josh is staring at only her head. 

He can seriously only see her head and neck. She moves closer to him and now Josh is certain, she’s made her body disappear. She was a dishonest-to-god floating head. Her head glowed gold for a moment as she twirled in a complete 360 to really show herself off. Josh’s eyes were as wide as possible trying not to cry out in amazement. Then the rest of her body reappeared, straddling Josh’s lap. With her arms draped over his shoulder, her all black soulless eyes gazed into Josh’s, practically paralyzing him with her fiery warmth and intensity. 

“So what do you think, angel?” 

“I, uh,” Josh stuttered. He placed his hands firmly on her hips and moved her off of him. “That’s impressive. What’s it good for?” 

“S just fun,” She shrugged, undetered by Josh removing her from his lap. “Let’s dance and then you can show me your wings or something.” 

Josh didn’t have time to protest, as she grabbed his wrist with one hand and their second bottle of pinot noir in the other. 

She took a swig before letting it float in the air beside them. Her body swiveled around the dance floor, placing herself in Josh’s arms as he swayed respectfully. She sighed and sunk into the movement, drinking from the bottle every so often. When the song changed, she turned to face Josh, handing the wine to him. He drank obediently, which she felt was a triumph. 

Hands draped over his shoulders again, she pressed her body against his. He was strong, she could feel his toned stomach. Her regular eyes met his and she tipped her nose against his. He looked stoicly back at her, determined to be friendly but not fall into the trap she was so clearly laying for him. 

“You’ve got so many defenses up,” She whispers. “Why not do what you want for once? Loosen up. Indulge.” 

Josh smiles down at her and moves his lips to her ear. Polite as ever, he speaks soothingly. “I am having a lovely time with you, Sal.”

She groans, pressing his hands to her hips again, where the curve of her ass was. “I can gaurantee you’ve never had what I’m offering you…” 

Josh smiles knowingly, unconvinced. “I’m afraid I’m above your temptations. Is seduction your main area of expertise?” 

She glares at him, but there’s a glint in her eye. She loved the chase. The difficulty. 

“Debauchery in general, but with how many people wanted to have sex with me in my first life I have a specialization in seduction and desire.” 

He shrugs, moving his hands to a respectful place on her waist. His touch is light, but she feels the pressure of his thumbs pushing at the exposed skin. She smirks and snakes her lips up to his ear. 

The gold hoop glints and she flicks her tongue over it. “I could just show you what you’re missing. If you’d allow me to put it in your mind, we wouldn’t actually do it. You’d be in complete control. Halo intact. C’mon just a few images…it’ll be informative.” 

Josh sighs as the tug of her teeth on his earring. She was bad. Terribly good at her job. He understood why she was here. Jake wasn’t even in town. Damn him. If he did his job a little better, Josh wouldn’t be contemplating allowing a demon into even a small recess of his mind. But, Jesus, did he want to just see it. If it wasn’t real, it wasn’t really a sin to indulge. 

She stares at him, waiting for his response. Her hands run over his shoulders and chest. The music swells and Josh’s hands tighten on her waist as he looks up to the ceiling, praying for forgiveness. 

“For educational purposes,” He starts and she grins. “I will allow you to show me how you do your job. So that I may be able to thwart your wrongdoings better.” 

“It’s just a little sex,” She licks her lips. “Igniting passion in people makes more babies for you to teach heavenly values or whatever. God likes sex, Josh.” Her voice is sickening, it was like she was dripping in a delicious scent that Josh can’t get out of his head. Twisting his values and her intentions into something evil that somehow made wicked sense.

He’s been careful to only open up a small piece he knows he can close, but he almost loses his footing when he finally feels her stinging lips on his. She licks into his mouth and he’s about to protest before the images begin to flow through his mind. 

‘Good thing your brother doesn’t have to transfer information like this, huh?’ Sal says within Josh’s mind. 

Guiltily, he feels himself laughing. Though his physical body is still locking lips with her. 

The room she brings him to in his mind is dark, a red lamp in the corner where two bodies are rolling around. Sighs of ecstasy filling his ears. The smell of sex hanging in his nose.

‘You’re really missing out, angel. Could show you the best thing life, and death, has to offer.’ Her voice is softer in his mind. 

The scene changes. He’s staring up at her above him. Her hips are working over him steadily as her naked breasts bounce in front of him, her necklace is the glowing light now. Her voice is sinful as she moans praises for Josh. How good he feels, how big he is, how strong he is. The scene changes and he’s driving into her with her legs over his shoulders, she’s smiling sweetly up at him with her mouth open, repeating his name like a prayer. It shifts and she’s pressed face down in the grey silk pillows, her body spread out for him as he grunts and growls, thrusting ceremoniously into her as she screams for him to keep going. It’s melodic, every bodily sound and the scene of their physical bodies uniting is hypnotic. Like it was pre-ordained that he would fit so well inside her. He feels euphoric as it shifts once more. She is back on top, his hips press up into her as she grinds down. Their faces are pressed together as Josh holds her body close to him. Arms enveloping her fragile frame. The room is quiet as they are pressed skin to skin, her lips meeting his gently. Sharp gasps escape their trembling lips.

‘Okay, enough,’ Josh pushes away from the scene, feeling both aroused and confused. 

In the speakeasy, she pulls back from the kiss with a wipe of her lips. She runs her hands through her hair as she watches Josh. She had shown him every one of his fantasies, placing herself at the center of them. They weren’t particularly raunchy, it was all about connection to him and for once she didn’t tease. 

“I like you, Joshua,” She says, truthfully, allowing him to pull their bodies a little apart. 

He was flustered and confused and embarrassed, but he also didn’t want to run. She had kept her word, shown him a few things and left. He didn’t fully understand the words she had just spoken.

He shakes his head, an awkward smile on his lips there on accident, and she stares at him wistfully. 

“I haven’t had someone in my mind in a very long time.” 

“It’s okay,” She soothes. “You really are an angel. Maybe on this earthly plane for too long since you clearly have carnal desires, but they were sweet. Every man’s mind I’ve looked into had vile and cruel desires…” She paused, looking past Josh. “Even in my first life, all the men I knew wanted to hurt the women they supposedly loved.” 

Josh’s eyebrows shot up in shock. 

“The closest you got to dirty was having me in do–”

“Okay!” Josh cut her off. “I think it’s time to call it a night.” He turned and walked swiftly through the crowd, parting easily for him–definitely not a misuse of his miracles. 

“Fine,” She grinned wickedly and whistled for Rori, sauntering after Josh. 

Back on the street, it could’ve been daytime with all the lights compared to the speakeasy. She squinted her eyes in distaste, thriving in the dark and wishing she had brought her sunglasses.

Josh was turned away from her so she tapped on his shoulder, wanting his attention. Wanting to see him again. He turned slowly and the look on his cherubic face was troubled. She frowned, about to ask what got his wings in a twist. 

A shadow stepped into Josh’s light. His hair was long and messy, in need of a wash. His silver jewelry shined heavy on his tanned chest. His black button up was almost completely open exposing his torso and he held a wide-brimmed black hat loosely in one hand and a guitar case more carefully in the other. His eyes flashed yellow when he spotted Y/N.  

She straightened her posture under his gaze and gave him a defiant look. Rori growled, but stayed behind her legs. 

Jake ran his tongue over his bottom lip, taking in the woman shaped devil before him. “You must be the new demon in town.” 

She tilted her head at him and looked between Josh and Jake. “And you must be your brother’s keeper.” 

He took a menacing step closer, narrowing his eyes at his angel of a brother before returning his gaze to her. “Something like that. Now, farewell…or don’t, I don’t care.”

She opened her mouth to speak again but no sound came out. 

His eyes flashed again as he turned on his heel and said tersely, a command, “Josh.”

The pair disappeared into fog that had appeared as suddenly as the older demon along the nighttime sidewalk and then she watched it dissipate moments later, leaving no trace of the creatures. The men. The angel and the demon.

-

to be continued... join the taglist

[muellersnyder49]

15 Things You've Never Known About Liquid CBD

How to Choose a High-Quality CBD Product CBD can be consumed in capsules, edibles sprays and tinctures. However, oral consumption can be inconsistent and difficult to quantify because of slow absorption, stomach acids and other factors. Research suggests that CBD could be a solution to neuropathic pain. It can also improve sleep and prolong time for patients suffering from cancers of the type known as the glioblastoma. It's secure CBD, or cannabidiol is a non-psychoactive substance found in hemp and cannabis plants. It does not cause a high or intoxication, but it can be used to treat anxiety, seizures and pain, as well as other medical ailments. It can also reduce the symptoms of mood disorders like schizophrenia and depression. However, more research is needed to confirm its effectiveness. Researchers from Virginia Commonwealth University tested nine CBD E-liquids that are currently available. All nine samples included CBD. However four of them contained a synthetic cannabinoid called 5-fluoro MDMBPINACA (5F ADB) which was not advertised. One sample was contaminated by dextromethorphan (commonly used in cough medicine). The researchers of the study suggest that people who use vape CBD make sure to use reputable brands, and that they ensure that CBD is free of toxins like formaldehyde and vitamin E. Vaping CBD may be safer than smoking, but experts aren't sure about its long-term effects. Some have reported that it causes lung issues, but it's safer than smoking cigarettes which causes death to 40,000 people in the US every year. The CDC warns people to avoid smoking e-cigarettes if they suffer from asthma or other respiratory illnesses. CBD is, in addition to its anti-inflammatory qualities, may relieve chronic pain that is caused by rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and other autoimmune disorders. CBD can also help reduce the effects of nerve pain caused by chemotherapy. The benefits of CBD were confirmed in a small 2019 study but more research is needed to determine its effectiveness in a variety of other conditions. CBD is safe if taken in the recommended dosages. However, it may interfere negatively with certain medications. For instance, it may increase the levels of serotonin within the body, so it is recommended to avoid it for those taking selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as Zoloft. It can cause drowsiness when combined together with other medications that can make you sleepy, like certain antidepressants and benzodiazepine-based serotonin sedatives such as Klonopin, Ativan, and Valium. It can also reduce the effect of drugs that suppress the immune system, such as cyclosporine and can increase the adverse effects of morphine, which is a opioid. It's legal CBD's legality is contingent on its use. If you're using it as an alternative to medication, you'll require a prescription from your doctor before you can purchase CBD. But if you're simply interested in its recreational benefits, it may be easier to get access to CBD products at local stores. It is recommended to select a CBD product that comes with a certificate of analysis (COA) from an independent lab. The COA should also contain the batch number as well as testing methods. This information should be easily accessible on the label or in the packaging. The state of New Jersey has a medical cannabis and industrial hemp program, but its CBD laws aren't as specific. CBD oil is available for sale in the state, but it must be tested for THC levels before it's sold. Other CBD products like flowers and resins are prohibited in the state. This is due to the fact that they are a collectible and not a medication. However the state of New York has more relaxed regulations for CBD. In 2021, it became legal for adults to use CBD when the product contains a THC concentration lower than 0.2 percent and no unsubstantiated health claims are made. The CBD products must also be tested for safety and quality.

CBD products can be consumed in different ways, but capsules and oils are the most convenient and effective. They can be consumed in a pill or dropped under the tongue to be quickly absorbed into the bloodstream, where they begin to work within minutes. It is recommended to take CBD in small doses because larger quantities can trigger adverse effects such as nausea and dizziness. CBD is legal for most of the United States. However, it is important to know the rules of each state that govern CBD. In most instances, federal laws will prevail over state laws if they are in conflict. This is particularly true in cases involving interstate commerce. There are a few exceptions to the rule. If the state has a pilot program for industrial hemp the laws that govern that program will override any federal law applicable to the particular state. It's affordable If you're thinking of purchasing the highest-quality CBD product There are a variety of options available. Numerous premium brands offer bulk discounts as well as special rewards programs which can help you save money on your purchase. This lets you test various products to determine which one is best for your requirements. The price of CBD oils differs from brand to brand, however, the typical price is between 7-18 cents per milligram of CBD. The lower end is due to branding costs, whereas the higher-end products cost more because they are made with top ingredients and undergo rigorous third-party tests. Some companies provide COAs for all their products. This is an excellent method to determine the exact amount of CBD in every product. This is a good sign that it demonstrates that the company is committed to transparency and quality. It also shows that the company is confident in its products and that they're safe for consumers. Vaping CBD liquids is popular among electronic cigarettes and pod systems. They are less expensive than CBD capsules of oil which can be expensive. However there are some aspects to take into account when choosing an e-liquid. The power level of your e-cigarette as well as the size of your coil should be considered prior to making a purchase. We recommend a vaporizer coil of about 1 ohm for best results. Crescent Canna has a variety of CBD-infused items ranging from tinctures, capsules, and vape juices. The high-potency CBD products are available in many flavors and contain a full spectrum cannabinoids. The company puts a high importance on quality control by sourcing hemp from trusted farmers and using rigorous extraction processes. They also provide specific information regarding their sources, third-party laboratory testing, and other aspects of their production processes. cbdMD offers a line of with high-potency CBD oil tinctures. These tinctures are formulated with the highest concentration of CBD to ensure the highest results. The tinctures are organic Colorado hemp and are subjected third-party testing. They are also certified by the U.S. Hemp Authority and contain natural, lemon, and mint chocolate flavors. It's practical A CBD vape is a well-known way to consume the drug, since it has been proven to provide the fastest bioavailability into your bloodstream. The process can also help reduce the amount of harmful toxins that are present in your body, in addition to being discrete and simple to use in public. This method has been acknowledged for its effectiveness in treating anxiety and pain as well as stress. cbd e liquid uk aren't restricted to these ailments. It can be utilized as an anti-inflammatory or to treat depression. CBD's active constituents are able to bind to receptors within the brain and nervous system. These receptors are involved in a number of processes like memory, mood and immune response. CBD regulates these receptors, assisting with many ailments, from reducing PTSD symptoms to alleviating arthritis. Even chronic insomnia has been reduced by CBD. CBD is known to increase the levels of endocannabinoids that naturally occur which regulate various functions within the human body, such as appetite, memory, and sleep. CBD may also interact with other receptors, like serotonin and opioid receptors to produce additional effects. It is therefore believed that CBD can act as an effective supplement to current medical treatments like antidepressants for those suffering from PTSD, schizophrenia, and non-motor symptoms of Parkinson's disease (Larsen and Shahinas 2020). There are several ways to take CBD however the most convenient method is using a disposable vape. These are small, colorful devices that are pre-charged and pre-filled with CBD liquid. They can be easily stored in your bag or pocket, and are great for people who are new to vaping since they don't require any additional equipment. You can also buy CBD products, such as balms and lotions that apply to your skin. It is important to note that these products for the skin will likely be absorbed below the skin, and it is difficult to determine if the positive effects are due to the CBD or to other ingredients like menthol or capsaicin. Ingestion of CBD will deliver it to your digestive system. This will provide a longer-lasting and consistent degree of relief over the course of time.

[zeydaan-isabella]

Green Scare

Commission by Prurientpie with a story by hudsonspacecraft Anti-drug scare campaigns are often counterproductive, though this particular fearmongering pamphlet backfires to a whole new level after it drags in Zeydaan against their will and turns them into a major 'herb enthusiast', as well as the pamphlet itself becoming and advertisement for a local dispensary. One that has just seemingly gained a new customer for life...

Cannabis. Whether it be called marijuana, weed, kush, or dank, it has a profound effect on the minds of those who use them. Entire cultures have been formed on the substance. While plenty of us have been exposed to the substance in one form or another, it affects some much more than others, Our story begins with a woman named Jackie. Whatever life she previously had, whether it be as a cafe owner, an interdimensional traveler, or a prominent activist of species equality, was soon changed forever when she first got ahold of the strain. Weed ended up being so magnetic in its pull, that Jackie, whether she had ever been around other smokers before, was immediately hooked. One joint soon turned to two, then to four, until she simply ran out.  Yet, like millions of addicts before her, the munchies soon came. And much like she began to feast on brownies and cheese puffs, the substance itself soon began to munch on her life. Bite after bite, elements of it soon went down faster than she could stomach a pizza. Whatever job she had unceremoniously kicked her out, and her wiser friends began to shun her for her changing habits. Money that could have been spent on art commissions and fixtures for the house soon began to dry up, both from a lack of fulfilling income and her disregard for her own budget, spending it on frivolous surpluses of food items that would be devoured about as fast as she could hit her supply of joints. About the best job she could land was at cheap convenience stores and even cheaper fast food joints, to which she had no qualms about scarfing down company supplies on the job and taking some of it for her own.  All this, while the marijuana kept piling on. While the simple blunt she had been exposed to at first was enough for the time, as she dedicated more and more time to active smoking she discovered it in all its varieties. What started as basic blunts turned to more advanced forms: vaping, various extracts, edibles (she ate a lot of edibles), all mixed in with her growing, more eclectic diet. Above all else, she adored running after the highs of different strains, from the almost paralyzing, yet enlightening lows of the “Slowpoke and Steady” to the more exhilarating, quick highs of the “Envigoroth.” After a while, the old clothes became too stained from months’ worth of weed, and Jackie soon began to show her pride. Looser, more revealing clothing with plenty of green abound became her go-to wardrobe for the day, if only to make it crystal clear how into the stuff she was. Even her appearance seemed to change, features becoming feline and fur becoming as green as the weed she now permanently had on her person. With her appearance now screaming to everyone around Jackie was a true-blue stoner, she only found it fitting to sell off the old house, which had seen better days (especially before she discovered hotboxing) and invested in an RV where she could wheel around to different venues and spread the wings she never had before. This new lifestyle (and her rather funky smell) naturally attracted a certain clientele, and with how much extra stock she had, suffice to say she had a ton of new smoke buddies with her. In time, encouragement from these like-minded individuals led Jackie to produce her own strain, “Sprig Season…” …Which takes us to today. Having recently partnered up with us at the Magical Leaf Dispensary, Jackie now provides us with the substance for a hefty commission. We are open to any new and upcoming strains of all kinds to add to our varied repertoire of different flavors. Our munchies bar and spacious interior leave loads of room for you and friends to get into the stoner lifestyle. Who knows, maybe it’ll change you as much as it did for Jackie? Take it from her, “One hit…and you’ll be a customer for life…” [A/N: the author does not endorse irresponsible use of cannabis products ad depicted here; said actions are only portrayed positively for storytelling purposes]

[whumpthefifth]

“Okay, you know what I don’t understand about the anti-drug agenda? They’re never anti-alcohol. Using their arguments against milder recreational substances such as weed, LSD and shrooms, you could argue alcohol has the same “dehabilitating” effects of these substances — Hell, I’d say worse. However, I see very few anti-liquor anti-drug advocates. What’s the deal? (PS: I’m not anti alcohol, just don’t respect the fact WOD advocates aren’t consistent with their views.) “

(Im shadow banned, I think it’s a glitch cause it always happens, so an ask instead Lol)

But ugh thank you for saying that! Exactly! I use cannabis, and I use to go to AA (they’re a cult; claim you have a ready disease and only god can save you, and they tell sexual assualt survivors to accept responsibility /own their part in it… likely because AA has lots of male sexual predators so they blame women… just like Mormonism… other ways to get sober outside AA so I left but,) I use to go to AA because I have AUD. I think abstinence is the only way for me when it comes to alcohol.

I had a lot of members act like me using weed was worse though 🙄I use weed for chronic pain and chronic fatigue. I also use it recreationally. If I’m using it too much to the point I build a THC tolerance I’ll take a 2-4 week break, but I have 0 intention of quitting weed. I don’t have a problem with it, but a lot of folks who did wanted to project on me that I did, and suggest I wasn’t really sober. 🙄

People act like weed, which has a lot of medicinal purposes, is worse than alcohol, which is a damn carcinogen and depressant.

Weed to me is such a benign drug compared to other drugs, even SRI’s; SRI’s caused me memory problems, I’ve never had weed give me memory problems…

I am a big advocate of plant based healing; plant based diet, plant based drugs. (I’d love to try shrooms someday. I think they should be legalized.) alcohol is extremely addictive and bad for your organs, a lot of people drink it and will compare weed to crack and heronin, drives me just a little insane.

exactly. Weed is a genuine medicinal substance — why prohibit that, while tobacco, a rampant carcinogen that is openly advertised to children and ex-cigarette addicts (Im talking about vapes, so much for Smokefree) and alcohol, which is as you said also a carcinogen and a depressant and leads to irresponsible drinking habits that cause many young people to get themselves injured, incarcerated and even killed. For my country alone, 44 percent of fatal crashes in NZ through 2019-2021 have been caused by alcohol, and 1 in 4 kiwi drinkers have developed hazardous alcohol dependency — You don’t see that happening with cannabis, and yet God forbid we legalize the “devils lettuce”. It just doesn’t make sense.

[riptozier]

@diedbrave said: [ VAPE ] — our muses vape weed together (in my head Eddie is screaming I WOULD NEVER THATS SO BAD FOR YOU while at the same time going 'for richie? yeah sure I'd try it to seem cool in his eyes')

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ✘ . *. ⋆ TO RICHIE, the request to have a hit from eddie came completely out of left field. the question itself was like it was from a ball tossed from the other side of the world. the other man knew what these things could do to your lungs , right? fill it up with tar after an extended period of use , filling up your body with excess chemicals it didn't need while advertising itself as a safe alternative to smoking pre-rolls or cigarettes. richie knew it wasn't HEALTHY and he should probably find a better way to get his marijuana intake , but the action of smoking relieved some of the underlying withdrawal symptoms born from his retired need for nicotine. having an oral fixation also certainly didn't help.

❝ are you absolutely sure? ❞ richie asks , the pen still firm in his grip , not wanting eddie to snatch it away and make a decision now that he'd grow FRUSTRATED with richie later , for letting him do something so unhealthy. at least three insistences later and the pen was in eddie's hand , richie's blues fixated on him as he sat back to enjoy the drug. ❝ hits hard , right? even the small ones. ❞

WEED & GETTING HIGH STARTERS .

[matthewsdmhcantu]

What Are The Different Varieties Of Geek bar flavours Juice

Things To Know About Buying Geek bar flavours Online

Vaping was intended to become a fad, nevertheless the trend persisted as people saw how simple and fun it had been to ingest nicotine with a vape. Vape items are now actually readily accessible in-store and online, thanks to the remarkable growth of the vape and e-juice markets. One of the simplest methods to obtain high-quality items without driving way too specialized shops or dealing with lengthy lineups at a nearby vape shop is to buy vapes online.

Maybe you have loved buying your vape accessories online? In that case, maybe you have been wondering how to get e-juice? Do you intend to understand how to locate the top-rated and most reliable e-juice vendors online? You are at the appropriate location. This brief tutorial covers all the fundamental details about buying e-liquid, vapes, and vape accessories online.

Disposable vapes are pre-filled vape batteries and cartridge sets that can't have their e-juice tanks filled up with more. Simply toss away the disposable vaporizer after use and start a new one. The cost-effective method to enjoy e-juice is with disposable vapes. Typically, people can get vapes via online vape stores at small costs and in a massive selection of flavors.

These are tastes, if your vape is refillable, you can include new Geek bar flavours e-juice when you go out and even swap flavors to match your mood or preference. E-juices can be found in a massive number of tastes, from traditional fruit flavors to intricate dessert-themed flavors that would satisfy even the most discerning vaper. It could seem that purchasing a refillable vaporizer and e-juice is more expensive.

Buying From Reputable Brands

People may easily get replacement parts, components, and vape accessories from internet vape stores, which are necessary goods. People can easily maintain the state of their vapes as a result of the accessibility to accessories from online vape retailers. Online vape retailers provide comprehensive guidance and a massive choice of high-quality accessories for various devices.

If you've never been aware of a company before, research to make sure they're respectable and real. Examining the company's online evaluations is the greatest way to find out whether it is legitimate. One of many finest techniques to gauge your opinion of a specific product is often by listening to testimonials from regular individuals searching for the same things.

Is the business behind the merchandise a good fit? Or do they seem to be only advertisements? A well-made e-juice should have as few components as possible since too many might irritate the lungs or reveal that the item isn't potent or pure. Propylene glycol or vegetable glycerin, which is alcohols devoid of oils, should serve as the inspiration for all e-juices.

E-juice bases may sometimes have water added in their mind so your vapor may be created easier and the texture can be improved. Nicotine and tastes, either natural or artificial, are the final two ingredients permitted; any ingredient besides those stated above may indicate that the item is of poor quality.

For more details make sure you click on this kind of link geek bar flavours uk.

[ivapemancom4]

Vaping History

When Did Vaping Start? Although we think of vaping as a contemporary phenomenon, individuals have actually been vaping for centuries. In the past, they did it for enjoyment and healing. In the last few years, there's been a focus on discovering a substitute for cigarettes. Table of Contents A quick history of Vaping Who created vaping? The first modern-day vape gadget The year vaping blew up The very first box mods The very first pod mods Vaporesso's renowned vaping devices A Brief History of Vaping People have actually constantly delighted in breathing in some sort of flavored smoke. The ancient Egyptians were known to heat herbs and oils over hot stones to create a vapor they might breathe in. In the fifth century advertisement, shishas appeared in Northern Africa. These were long water pipes utilized to inhale tobacco. Individuals in India created their own variation of the shisha and called it a hookah. Hookahs are still popular in the Middle East and India. All these pioneers led to what we know and like today as the vape mod. Who Invented Vaping? Over the years, there have actually been many attempts to create a fake cigarette that looked, felt and smoked like the genuine thing. In 1963, an inventor called Herbert Gilbert got a patent for a "smokeless non-tobacco cigarette." He couldn't get the interest of any manufacturers, nevertheless, and absolutely nothing came of it. In 1980, Jed Rose and Frederique Behm established the nicotine patch at their laboratory in UCLA. They likewise tried to create a cigarette-like device for providing nicotine. They called it the "distilled smoke" gadget, but it never ever surpassed a model. In the early 1980s, computer system engineer Phil Ray worked with his medical professional to establish a smokeless cigarette. Although Ray's design failed, he pioneered the use of the term "vape.". In 1980, a Native American therapist called Eagle Bill Amato created a portable vaporizer for marijuana. He called it Eagle Costs's Shake and Vape Pipeline. This further popularized making use of the term "vape." It likewise assisted develop a picture of vaping culture as hip and edgy. A Winning Style. In 2003, Chinese pharmacist Hon Lik established the very first genuine vape-like gadget. Lik was a heavy cigarette smoker whose father died of lung cancer. He stated he was desperate to give up smoking when the concept of using vapor pertained to him. His version used a small battery and a chipset to produce vapor that mimicked the smoke from a cigarette. During the next few years, Lik's variation of the e-cigarette ended up being the most popular smoking alternative worldwide. He called his business Ruyan, indicating "little smoke," and presented e-cigarettes to Europe and the Middle East. Around the very same time, the US companies Smoke Anyplace And VUSE began selling their own version of Lik's e-cigarette. Smoke Anywhere is still making and selling its kits. These packages come with rechargeable batteries, prefilled or refillable atomizers and chargers. VUSE continues to offer its devices in convenience stores around the nation. In 2007, the US enabled the importation of e-cigarettes. This didn't imply electric cigarettes had a simple entry into the US market. China and a number of other nations banned all electric cigarettes. This triggered the US to take a closer look at electronic vape devices. The Battle Was On. Over the next years, Smoke Anywhere sued the United States government a number of times, and medical institutions debated the health advantages of e-cigarettes as a smoking cigarettes option to help heavy cigarette smokers to quit. In 2012, the British government took the main position that vaping was a harm reduction tool that could assist people give up cigarette smoking. The same year, a group of e-liquid makers formed the American E-Liquid Manufacturing Standards Association (AEMSA) to manage the quality of vape juices. Electronic cigarettes were here to stay. Stars backed them, and numerous rivals sprang up with their own versions. The different designs and colors made them a fashion declaration. You might buy barrels in different colors and LED tips that glowed blue, purple or green. How Vaping's Appeal Grew. Lots of vape companies think about 2010 the year that vaping's appeal blew up. Because year, vape manufacturers understood that people desired more than they were receiving from electric cigarettes. They wished to enjoy more clouds, more taste and more of a true hookah-like experience. The vape makers first developed larger pen mods that were more highly advanced than e-cigarettes. disposable vapes preferred these pen mods, but they still wanted more. In 2010, the very first so-called box mod packages ended up being commercially offered. These sets gave vapers more power and more control of the vaping experience. Bulky Boxes. These box mods are still popular due to the fact that they give vapers ultimate control of the whole vaping experience. Vapers can choose their own coils, atomizers, batteries and tanks. Some vapers build their own coils. These big box mods are still immensely popular despite their intricacy. Major vaping hobbyists delight in working with them to develop special vaping feelings. Some people state they still use the cumbersome, apparently dated box mods they first purchased more than ten years earlier. Vape enthusiasts, nevertheless, also enjoy utilizing and purchasing brand-new box mods. Producers are continuously fine-tuning their items due to the fact that the vaping audience is extremely advanced. Vapers demand a high level of smoke production, taste production and capability to customize. The Arrival of Pod Mods. In 2015, Pax Labs presented the world to the next big thing in vaping. Its JUUL gadget made vaping quickly offered to everybody. People could buy JUUL devices and refills anywhere, consisting of filling station and convenience stores. They needed no ability or understanding to use. Anybody could start vaping merely by acquiring a JUUL and a prefilled cartomizer. Today vape producers reacted with their own JUUL options, oftentimes a lot more sophisticated than the initial. These so-called pod mods offered vapers a whole brand-new choice. Pod mods are highly portable, easy to use and discreet. They likewise permit vapers to utilize their own e-juice flavors instead of the prefilled, restricted tastes readily available from business like JUUL and VUSE. Pod mods continue to be top-selling vape gadgets, and vape makers continue to improve their innovation.

[moonpetrichors-blog]

Genshin Men in Highschool

Tags: Highschool!Genshin AU, Headcanons

Warnings: Vaping, Weed

Characters: Xiao, Kazuha, Kaeya, Ayato, Thoma

Genshin men and what kind of students they would be in a high school alternate universe.

* ˚ ✦ Read below the cut

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [26/04/22] ❞

Xiao

Xiao would be that one loner kid that keeps to himself, and everyone knows to just not talk to him.

However, Xiao would be that loner kid everyone lowkey has a crush on. But, no one can get close enough to him.

His favorite subjects would be Music and Art. I can see him as a very creative person. Plays an instrument, draws sometimes as a hobby.

Some days its like Xiao has completely disappeared from school if you bother to notice. He does show up, but he’s either at home or somewhere secluded during break times, like the library or the rooftop.

If you did manage to befriend/date him, he’d still be kind of quiet, but definitely super loyal to you. The type of guy to hate everyone but you LMAO. Also hates affection

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

Kazuha

Kazuha is that kid who sells stuff on the side. By stuff I mean vapes and weed LMFAOO

You’re just walking home and casually see him doing business with someone behind the school. Also gets his friends to advertise his business on their Snapchat 💀

An overall chill and laidback guy that everyone likes. I feel like he’d be a bit of a social floater, but since everyone thinks he’s cool he hangs with everyone.

Kazuha’s favorite subjects are English and Languages. Particularly Spanish. This man recites poetry all the time, how would he not like English?

ALSO IMAGINE HIM SAYING CUTE THINGS TO YOU IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE?

That said, all the English teachers love him. 11/10 amazing writer. Sometimes the things he writes doesn’t make sense, in which he tells the teachers it’s coming from a deep, artistic point of view. Cue the praise.

That “deep, artistic point of view” was also when he was high, by the way. 11/10 great lying skills.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

Kaeya

ABSOLUTE MENACE TO EVERYONE.

Kaeya is smug and flirty. That one mf who walks into class and closes your laptop lid, or hits the off button to flirt with you.

Also the guy that says “where my hug at?” 💀

Popular in school and girls love him. Loves to tease and annoy people, but no one actually finds him annoying. Except for Diluc 💀

Kaeya’s favorite subjects are Physics and Geography.

Just kidding he’s a liar. He only likes Physics because someone he likes is in that class. Geography is cool to him though.

The relationship trope with him would be academically smart student x athletic dumbass. Nerd x jock type of shit, except I can’t envision him playing sports.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

Ayato

Is smug like Kaeya and I don’t know if that’s a better or worse thing.

The type of guy to be on some student council group. Academically smart, the faculty favorite, and a role model.

Ayato gets amazing grades and everyone asks him for help. He’s that intelligent and rich student.

He has beef with Kazuha btw. One day he caught him selling vapes behind the school and they got into a tussle over it LMAOO

I don’t think he’s a snitch though. Well, until the selling issue gets out of hand, but you know what I mean

Ayato’s favorite subjects are Chemistry and Physics. 100% a science guy.

Would also accidentally blow something up and never live it down.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

Thoma

The really kind dude that is way too nice to everyone for his own good.

You need a pencil? He’s got twenty. Answers to the homework? He’s immediately by your side to give pointers.

An actual mediator bro he can’t stand drama 😭 everyone trusts him so much that they come to him with all their problems/shittalking. This man knows so many secrets. Will obviously keep them tho

I don’t think anyone could ever be genuinely mean to him though. Those who have tried never see the light of day again

Thoma is on everyone’s good side, so when someone is being an ass to him, their reputation is immediately dragged through the dirt. It’s worse when he’s close with a powerful student like Ayato as well 😭🙏

From a scale between Xiao to Kaeya, Thoma would be like Kazuha. He’s cool with everyone and popular with girls, but it’s definitely more lowkey than Kaeya.

Thoma’s favorite subjects are Food Tech and Biology. Embarrassed the Food Tech teacher one time because he showed them up with his cooking (on accident)

After that incident, you can imagine how class would go when there were group/partner projects. Would work on his own sometimes when the fights would get too big

[harlowdoylepi]

TA-418 SAGA PART 4: Rapid Fire

Buck walked down the lane from school after football practice. An aggressive breeze blew past him and cooled his skin. He shivered, wishing he’d brought a jacket with him. There was a storm coming. He could feel it in the air. He was just about to turn the corner on the street which led to his neighborhood when he noticed Jules Kendall quickly dart around a corner behind an old building.

His brow furrowed. What could she be doing? He noticed that she was taking a backpack with her, but not the one she normally took to school.

Curiosity seized him and he walked over and made his way down the alley between the two buildings. The red brick walls were riddled with old graffiti and posters advertising businesses he’d never heard of. He slowed his steps and tiptoed closer, silently, steadily, cat-like. Just like Mister Skint always used to say, in his southern accented voice. “Yes, m’lad and you’re my cat, me-ow.”

Buck saw a weird, thin cloud of - was it smoke? Floating around the corner that was towards the back of the building. No, that's not smoke, it’s too white. His eyes widened and his stomach twisted. Is she…. No way!

Jules was frequently doing something rebellious, or against Connie’s will, but this was extreme, even for her. He wondered if he should just not check this out at all. Maybe it wasn’t Jules, maybe his eyes were tricking him… or something. But no. He had to find out. He walked up, took a deep breath, then jumped around the corner.

“JULES!”

A scream escaped from Jules as she tumbled back from where she was sitting. She hit an old metal garbage can and it fell to the pavement with a crash. Something dropped from her hand. Once she saw who was standing there, she put her hand over her heart and sighed with relief.

“Oh, it’s just you, Buck. I thought you were, um, somebody else.” she looked for the item she had dropped in her panic, but Buck reached and grabbed it before she could.

He held the object in his hand. A vape pen.

Jules stood up without a look of remorse.

Buck’s eyebrows shot up in alarm. His suspicions were confirmed. He swallowed hard. “ Um, Jules? Where did you get this?” He tried to keep his voice from squeaking but failed.

“From Vance,” she answered matter-of-factly, “You want to try it?”

“No.”

“Then I’ll take that thank you very much.” She reached for the pen, but Buck pulled it away and held it out of her reach.

“You’re hanging out with Vance again?”

“Maybe.”

“Jules! Don’t you know by now -”

Jules held up her hand, cutting him off. “Don’t get preachy with me!” She snapped. “I’ve got enough of that at home.”

Buck hated it when she got this way. He glared at her.“Why are you doing this?”

“I’m just trying to have a little fun, Buck.”

“Fun?! This isn’t it, Jules, this isn’t right!”

She huffed. “When did you become such a goody-two-shoes?”

Buck was caught off his guard by this. “I - don’t change the - ” He sighed exasperatedly, “I’m not.”

“Hm, couldn’t tell.” Jules sniffed.

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t have any common sense, or I don’t know what’s good for me!” He was growing increasingly agitated by Jules’ nonchalance.

“Why are you acting like this, Buck?”

“Because I care about you, and I don’t want you to get addicted!”

“Who says I’m going to get addicted? Everybody does it, it’s no big deal. It’s not like I’m on crack or heroin or anything, it’s just vape.”

“But it might not stop there! Trust me, Jules, I’ve seen addictions destroy people’s lives. It's a slippery slope. I don’t want that to happen to you!”

“Whatever. If you don’t want to vape, that's your decision; just don’t judge me, and let me do what I think is good for me, alright?!” She was starting to get shrill at this point.

Buck could see that he wasn’t going to get anywhere with her. He was in shock that Jules didn’t show the least bit of guilt for what she was doing, and that bothered him. Even though it did, he didn’t let his face show it. He managed to maintain an impassive expression. “Fine,” he dropped the vaping pen. “It’s your life.” he turned around and started walking away.

Jules quickly reached out and grabbed his arm and spun him around.

“Listen up, Buck. Please don’t tell anyone about this, ok?” Her voice turned honey-sweet. “You’re my best friend. I trust you. Let’s keep it that way, okay?”

Buck closed his eyes and sighed. “Alright,” he whispered. He turned on his heel and walked away, seemingly calm. But inwardly he was a storm of questions and uncertainty. He didn’t know what he should do. Well, he did know. He had to tell someone, but surely there had to be another way. He sighed as he headed home. Just as things seemed to be looking up, he was confronted with another dilemma, and this one was arguably more serious than the other ones he and Jules had been involved in. Jules’s wellbeing, her relationship with Connie, and their friendship, was at stake now.

Jason walked down the stairs leading out of his office. Through the front shop window, he could see the wind blowing in strong gusts outside, making the branches of the trees across the street bob and sway.

“Ok, we’ll be closing in about an hour, so you might want to wrap up your work, Richard.”

“Sure thing Jason.”

“By the way, how is it coming along?” He leaned against the counter.

Richard scooted his chair back and stretched. “Well, to get it to the original way it was set up, it’ll probably take…” he calculated mentally, “7-10 business days?”

Jason smiled ruefully. “You can be sure I’m paying you for this.”

Maxwell smiled. “Much appreciated, but you don’t have to.”

“Are you kidding? For the size of this project, I’ll definitely pay you.”

At that moment Jason’s phone rang. “Oh, just a sec, this is Connie.” He picked up the phone, “What’s up Connie?”

“Hey Jason, can you come to Whit’s End, like right now??” she asked urgently.

“What’s going on?” He queried.

“Well, we kind of had a shipment mistake.”

Jason’s eyes narrowed. “Uh oh. What kind of shipment mistake?”

“Well, the shipment arrived and we got three times the amount of ice cream we ordered! And it’s chaos! We need help moving it all!” Connie was near panicking at this point.

“Okay okay Connie, I’m coming!”

“Just hurry Jason!”

He hung up, “An emergency came up at Whit’s End Richard, I’ll be back in half an hour or so.”

Maxwell held a thumbs up. “Alright. I’ll just come to a stopping point, and then I’ll call you.”

“Sure thing.” Jason hurriedly exited through the front door, pulling his car keys out of his back pocket.

Richard sat in the solitude of the shop, still working on the computers. It was dark outside by this time with the wind still whistling outside. It was almost eerie how quiet everything else was. No one was in the shop, not even Jillian. He might have noticed it, but he was so engrossed in his work, he paid no attention. That’s probably why he didn’t hear a man come in by the conveniently unlocked side door until he walked up directly behind him. Richard turned around in his swivel chair to face the man. He towered over him, his facial features concealed behind a black ski mask. He could see knotted muscles bulging underneath his black shirt.

“Well, how are you this fine evening?” Richard put his elbow on the armrest, propped his head against his hand, and half-smiled. “Can I interest you in an antique clawfoot couch? Or half a wagon wheel?” He said jokingly.

“I don’t have time to play games.” The man’s voice was gravelly, and he spoke with a new york accent, “I wanna know where Mitchell is.”

Oh shoot. Richard shrugged. “Don't know who you're talking about.”

“I know you do. Now where is he?” The man growled.

Richard stood up and eyed him incredulously. “I see no reason why I should tell you.”

“I’ll give you a reason.” he growled.

Swift as lightning, the brute punched Maxwell in the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him. Richard gasped and took a step back, before he could react, the man delivered a hard blow across his jaw. Maxwell stumbled back, the thug shoved him hard. He staggered and his head slammed hard into the granite checkout counter. Blood trickled down the side of his head. There was a coppery taste in his mouth. “Point taken.” Richard muttered sarcastically as he forced himself back to his feet. Now he wished he had taken self defense when he had the chance. He had little or no experience when it came to fighting. He gripped the counter. His lungs convulsed in rebellion when he tried to take a deep breath. If he could just get out the door- Or even the silent alarm-

“This doesn’t have to be so hard. Just tell me where Mitchell is!” The gangster commanded. “Or else.”

Richard said, “Or else what, you’ll make me an offer I can’t refuse? No can do, pal.” He couldn’t break. Not now. Not ever.

The man shouted and lunged for him. Richard jumped back and was abruptly met by the counter. He slid to the side, missing the man’s blow by inches. The Mr. New-York-Accent stepped to the side and delivered a hammer fist strike; making perfect contact with the gash in Richard’s head. Richard couldn’t help but cry out this time. His head throbbed. Every nerve in his body screamed at him. The attacker reached and grabbed Maxwell’s neck in a vice grip. He forced him back, pinning him against the counter.

“I’ll give you one more chance,” he snarled, “Where. Is. Mitchell?”

Richard looked him in the eyes, deadpan, refusing to speak. Brownlow and Blackgaard had broken him before, and he had vowed to himself that he wouldn't let it happen again. He could feel his hands crawl up his neck and tighten around his throat. Richard tried to struggle, but to no avail. He was pinned. It would only take a matter of seconds and the man would crush his windpipe.

“STOP!” A woman with wavy blonde hair stood in the front doorway. She held a small handgun pointed at him, with a look that could kill in itself.

The masked man looked at her and stood as if frozen.

“I mean it! Take your hands off him!” She commanded.

The man released the grip on Maxwell’s neck, and dashed away, slamming the side door behind him.

Richard sank to the floor, gasping for air. Copious amounts of blood ran down his face and into his eyes as he leaned up against the front counter for support. He let out a low groan under his breath and wiped some of the blood away with his hand. He looked down and realized that blood had run down his neck and dripped on his shirt as well.

The woman strode across the room, looking as though she was about to hunt the brute down, when she glanced over at Richard. She swung the side door open and took one last glance at Richard….then stopped. Her expression softened, and holstering her gun, she knelt beside him.

“Are you alright?”

“I-I’m ok.” He said shakily. “Just a little banged up.” His head burned and the wound stung like crazy.

“I’d say more than a little. You’re bleeding pretty badly.”

“Tell me about it. I wasn’t aware I had this much blood in my head.”

“The higher your heart rate, the more you’ll bleed. And head injuries already bleed a lot. Even minor ones." She explained. “I guess explanations won't help. I have a first aid kit in my car, I’ll go get it.” The woman hopped lightly up, ran out, and came back.

She knelt beside him again, rummaged around for a moment, and got out the gauze. She gently pressed it against his forehead to slow the bleeding. The pressure made Richard’s head burn but he didn’t say anything.

Richard looked at her. “What’s your name?” He asked weakly.

“My name is Blair Duncan.” she smiled. “What’s yours?”

“Richard Maxwell.” He replied.

“Nice to meet you.”

“You too, though I wish the circumstances were better.

She stifled a laugh and smiled sympathetically. “So do I.”

Blair applied more pressure to his cut. He winced and inhaled sharply.

“Sorry!” She apologized.

“It’s ok, You do what you have to.” he paused, “I’ve not seen you before, do you live around here?”

“I’ve only come here a couple of days ago, my work transferred me here.”

They sat there as she continued to treat his wound. She gently held his hand and pressed her thumb against his wrist. “Your pulse is normal.” she muttered to herself. She studied him for a moment and ran through her mental checklist. "And you show no sign of a concussion.”

Blair got out more gauze and some medical tape. “The bleeding has slowed down a little, but you’ll probably need stitches. I’ll tape this gauze down until we can get you to a hospital or clinic.” She explained.

“Thanks for your help. Are you a doctor, or a nurse or something?” Richard asked.

“It’s no problem. And no, the medical field is an interest of mine, but it’s not my profession.”

“What is your profession?”

“I’m - well - it’s complicated. My work requires me to know all sorts of things. I do computers, programming, data analysis…and stuff of that nature.”

“You work with computers? That’s my line of work as well!” Richard started to sit up, gasped, and clutched his side.

“Careful there.” Blair eased him back. “Maybe we should call an ambulance.” She said concernedly, reaching for her phone.

“No, no it’s ok. I just sat up too quickly, the guy beat me up pretty good.”

She frowned. “Why did he do that?”

“He wanted information.”

“About?”

“The Vienna boys choir.”

Blair snorted. “He must be a diehard fan.”

Richard chuckled. She could match his humor. He liked that. “Yeah. He was actually wanting info on a friend.”

“Did you know who he was? The guy in the mask, I mean.”

“No, I’d never seen him before.”

“Dumb question if he was wearing a mask I guess.” Blair fixed the medical tape over the gauze on his laceration. “There you go. I'll take you to the hospital and they’ll get you good as new.”

“Thank you for your concern, but I don’t think I’ll need a doctor.”

“I think we should check just the same. That cut looks like it needs stitches. And that man was holding you by the neck, you could have been seriously hurt. I don’t want to leave anything to chance.”

Richard nodded. “Very well.” He got up slowly and rather unsteadily. His chest ached every time he inhaled.

Blair’s car keys jingled as she pulled them out of her pocket. “Do you need help?”

“I - I’ll be fine.” He didn’t want to admit how much he was hurting. A sharp stab of pain racked his jaw every time he spoke.

An hour later, after he had been checked up by Dr. Graham and received several stitches, was discharged. He walked into the waiting room, the fluorescent lights made dull reflections on the white tiled floors.

There were only a few people there, sitting and reading magazines, looking at their phones, or pacing around nervously. Blair, who was sitting in a chair, looked up from her phone and stood up.

She smiled. “How’s the patient?’

“Nine stitches, some bruises, but other than that, I’m clear.”

“Oh good.” she paused and rolled her eyes, “Well, not good, but it’s better than it could be.”

“True.” he smiled, “Thanks for everything Blair, I’m grateful.”

She returned a shy smile and shrugged modestly. “Don’t mention it.”

“You didn’t have to stay this whole time, I’m sure there were a lot of things you’d rather do tonight than this.” They started walking to the doors.

“I didn’t have any plans tonight, and even if I did, I couldn’t just drop you off at the curb. Do you need a ride home?”

“No, I’ll call a friend.” he picked up his phone and dialed his number, “Jason? Hey, I know this sounds weird, but I’m at the emergency room, can you pick me up?....Yeah, let’s say I ran into Bigfoot at the antique shop....No, in all seriousness, I have a feeling that we’ve gotten into something big here.”

Work was wrapping up at Whit’s End. The only people who remained were Connie, Eugene, Buck, Morrie, Suzu and Whit. They still had a few more things left yet to put away, but they were getting close.

As they were working, Connie pulled Eugene aside for a moment. "Have you noticed how quiet Buck has been this evening?"

Eugene looked at her. "Isn't Buck normally pretty quiet?"

Connie shook her head. "Well, this time it seems different. Something's weighing him down, don't you see how sad he looks?"

Eugene studied Buck for a moment as he worked. "Well, now that you mention it, he does seem a little downcast."

"Well…. Don't you think you should ask him what might be the problem?"

"I think he'll initiate conversation if he wants to tell me something."

Connie cast an annoyed look at him. "Do you really think he will?"

He sighed. "No, I'm not sure. I can never tell with him. It's not like the quadratic formula, it's completely unpredictable!"

She nodded understandingly. "Well, that's the way most teenagers are. You just have to take it as it comes."

"Yes, I suppose." Eugene answered uncertainly. “Is this your attempt at being a counselor and suggesting that I should try to get Buck to open up to me?”

"No, but since you brought it up, we should test it out, go ask him!" Connie gently shoved him towards Buck.

"We?!"

"I mean you, now go ask him!"

"Very well, very well." Eugene muttered.

Eugene walked as casually as he could up to Buck.

"Hello Buck!" he said with forced enthusiasm.

Buck looked up, snapping out of his thoughts. "Oh, uh hey Eugene."

"So, how are you feeling this evening?" He casually leaned against the freezer by the door.

"Um, fine."

"Really? To borrow the colloquialism, I’m reading the subtext in that phrase."

"What?"

"Er, you seem a little down."

Buck glanced away. "Oh. I’m okay, just a little tired, that's all."

“Are you sure?”

He nodded his head a little too quickly. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

Eugene nodded back. “Very well, but I’m always here if you need anything.”

Buck smiled. His smile looked genuine, but he had a sad look about him too. “I know. Thanks Eugene.”

A short while later, the bell above the front door jingled and Jason and Richard walked in.

“We’re back!” Jason shouted.

“Greetings, Misters Whitaker and Maxwell!” Eugene called from the back.

Richard grinned. “Hey, Eugene.” he called back.

Whit walked up to them. “Jason told me what happened. Are you alright?” he asked in a low voice.

“Yeah. A little sore, but I’ll be fine. And I’ll explain everything later.”

Whit looked at them understandingly.

Connie ran up to him. "Hey guys!" She eyed his injury. “Richard, are you alright?! What did you do to get stitches?”

“I’m fine Connie. I um, accidentally hit my head.” Which is true. I had no intention of hitting my head. He didn’t want to concern Connie or scare the kids. Subconsciously touching the collar of his jacket, he glanced down just to make sure the bloody stains on his shirt were not revealed. He would take care of that when he got home.

Later that evening….

Buck tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. He couldn’t shake the relentless guilt that gnawed at him. He vacillated between wanting to tell Eugene and Katrina everything, and not saying a word to anyone.

It was true that it was Jules’ life, but he also felt some responsibility as her friend. He knew that in time, it would only lead to more, and he didn’t know what sort of connections Vance had! He had seen it happen way too many times, addictions destroying lives. Buck didn’t want to admit it, but he felt afraid. Afraid for Jules. Afraid for Connie. Afraid for himself, that he might lose a friend, and have Eugene and Katrina angry with him for not telling them right away.

Wait, that much isn’t true, Eugene and Katrina aren’t like that. They were reasonable and understanding, and they welcomed it when Buck did the right thing, even if it was late in coming. From this Buck drew some comfort. He knew, however, that this was no excuse to wait.

A thought almost audibly pierced his conscience. Go.

Buck sat up abruptly. All of a sudden he felt fully awake.

Go.

He nodded his head in assent to the voice in his head. He knew what he had to do. Almost without realizing it, Buck started to get out of bed. He silently padded down the steps, down to the living room where Eugene and Katrina were sitting together on the couch, holding hands and reading books.

Buck got down to the bottom of the stairs and cleared his throat.

Katrina looked up. “Buck, are you alright?”

He looked down and scuffed his foot on the carpet. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” He said shyly.

Eugene smiled. “Not at all! Why don’t you have a seat?”

Katrina patted the open space on the couch next to her.

Buck walked to them and sat down. He swallowed hard. “Eugene, Katrina, there’s something I need to tell you…”

“I-It’s about Jules.”

“That was weird huh?” Jason commented late that evening before he went to bed.

“Yes….” Whit answered quietly.

“What do you think we should do, Dad?”

“You could check the security footage in the shop. You do have a camera in the front room of the shop, right?”

“Yeah, I do. And that’s a good idea. I’ll take a look at it tomorrow with Richard." He started up the stairs.

“And one more thing.” Whit called after him.

Jason stopped short. “Yeah?”

“Pray.”

Jason smiled. “Always. Love you Dad.”

“I love you too, son.”

That night at the Whitaker house, Whit sat down in the living room, deep in thought. The glow of the lamp dimly illuminated the room. Everyone had already gone to bed, and the house was quiet. His gaze wandered to the bookshelf he was sitting beside. The first title his eye fell upon was The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. It was his favorite book in The Chronicles of Narnia series. The final battle of good against evil, and good triumphing in the end, even if it looked like they wouldn’t. His favorite part of the book was when the Pevensies, the Professor, and Polly, were in Aslan’s Country. It never failed to fill him with a deep longing, almost an aching, for Heaven. There were so many people there he deeply missed. Jenny. Jerry. Fiona. Charlotte. Tom.

His thoughts drifted to Applesauce, and the key to the computer room that was tucked away in the other copy of The Last Battle on the shelf of his office. It was amazing how long ago that was, but he remembered it all like it was yesterday. That was one of the most incredible and difficult adventures he’d been in, and he had to wonder if they were on the brink of another. A lot had happened that seemed to be pointing in that direction. Whit knew that whatever was going on, he needed to pray. He bowed his head and folded his hands.

“Lord, you know what the future holds. You hold us all in your hands. I ask that you would guide us and protect us. Give us wisdom and strength to face what lies ahead. In your precious name, amen.”

[collecting-stories]

Bake-off - JJ (Outer Banks)

Request: can you write something with jj where the reader bakes a lot :) i understand if not, but i bake a lot (especially pies, i’m rambling sorry!) and thought this would be cute

A/N: So, since it’s JJ the baking had to include weed. 😛

Outer Banks Masterlist

///

The tray of banana nut muffins sat on John B’s table, half eaten. It was long before Big John died that there was ever even a homemade birthday cake in the house, neither men having much luck in the kitchen. But the muffins didn’t belong to John B anyway, they were JJ’s, which was even more peculiar, according to Kiara. If the Routledge men were shit at baking than the Maybank’s had never even turned on an oven.  

“They’re a gift.” JJ shrugged, laying across the laz-e-boy on the porch and munching on one.  

“A gift?” That was more shocking than their existence. JJ didn’t really get gifts and definitely not baked goods.  

“Did you mow someone’s lawn?” Pope asked, reaching for the muffin only to have JJ Flop away from him at the last second.  

“You could say that.” He grinned, attempting and failing a wink.  

“Ew, JJ.” Kiara groaned and walked back into the living room, emerging a moment later with one, “oh my god they’re edibles.”

“What?” Pope asked.  

“There’s weed in them.”

“Yes there is.” JJ grinned, “I ate two last night and was cooked. It’s some good shit.”

“Is it your shit?” Kiara asked, taking a bite.  

“Obviously, I said it was good didn’t I? I got the best shit on the island Kie.” He replied.  

“I know you didn’t make them so who made them for you?”  

-

JJ was a purest, as he dramatically referred to it. He rolled his own joints, dried his own weed for vaping, and he didn’t do edibles. At least he didn’t until one of the guys in the kitchen at the hotel turned 21. A box of cookies sat on the counter in the kitchen, marked Andrew. Double chocolate-chocolate chip, according to Andrew, and packed with a enough weed to “have you cooked after half of it”.  

“They’re delicious man, you gotta try one.” Andrew had insisted.  

“I don’t do edibles.”  

“You’ll regret it.”

And naturally, being told that there was the possibility for regret was a guaranteed way to ensure JJ did something. His bizarre fear of missing out dictated that he have no regrets and so he took one and ate the whole thing right there in the kitchen. And it was good...it was so good it didn’t even taste like weed and he was two seconds from telling Andrew he’d been dupped when he felt the familiar ease settle over him.  

“Where’d you get these?” He asked, slipping three into a plastic bag and dropping them in his backpack.  

“That girl that works in the kids area.” Andrew shrugged.  

You were a glorified babysitter, in charge of occupying people’s toddlers while they went out to play golf or shop or go to the spa. Not the greatest job in the world but the kids were usually easily contained and the parents always tipped well.  

JJ knew you to see you, always wandering around with some kid or another attached to your hip, talking about Frozen or Descendants...he’d heard you duet a song from some Disney Channel movie with one of the little girls just last week. It made you seem a bit green honestly. He couldn’t imagine you doing anything less than innocent, especially making your own edibles.  

He waited until after his shift to look for you, still wearing his white button up and vest but with his cargo shorts back on. You were outside supervising and participating in a game of soccer with a handful of eight year olds.  

“Hey,” he called, waving to you as he walked up. You tossed the soccer ball back into the makeshift field and turned toward JJ, “Andrew said you made him those cookies, for his birthday.”  

“Oh yeah,” you nodded, “I know he doesn’t like to smoke so...”  

“Could you make me some?”  

“Sure, what flavor?” You turned away for a moment to make sure all five of your children were still actively playing soccer and JJ took the opportunity to check you out. Your t-shirt advertised the hotel and hung loose on you. Shorts and a pair of running shoes completed the look and he was appreciative for the view of your legs.  

“Chocolate peanut butter.” JJ decided.

-

Chocolate peanut butter cookies, snickerdoodles, brownies, blondies, coffee cake, you and JJ had slowly formed a friendship built on experimental edible recipes. He supplied the weed and you made him whatever baked goods he could think up. He had even downloaded the Tasty app and Pinterest for the sake of finding new desserts for you to tackle.  

“So this girl just makes you whatever you want?” Kiara asked the next time a container of cookies appeared at John B’s house. Sugar cookies, with piped on icing that made them look like beach balls.  

“It’s business Kie. I supply the weed from my cousin, she makes the edibles. We sell them too, it’s a very lucrative business.” JJ replied, eyes closed, laying in the hammock outside John B’s while he smoked.  

Kiara was munching on a sugar cookie. She wasn’t really complaining about the edibles, her mom had been on her lately about the possibility of her smoking and the edibles were easier to hide. Especially because yours didn’t smell half as bad as some she’d had in the past. Mostly she was just curious about this girl that JJ was spending time with. He acted like it was casual but Kiara had known him for a long time and she knew JJ lacked the ability to hang out with a girl casually. Even they toed the line sometimes.  

“So when can we meet your esteemed business partner?” Kiara asked.  

“What?” JJ rolled his head to the side to look over at her, pushing his sunglasses down his nose. “Why do you wanna meet her?”

“Why don’t you want us to meet her?” She countered.  

“I don’t care. You can meet her.” JJ replied, trying to act nonchalant about the whole thing. He couldn’t fool Kiara and he knew that but that didn’t stop him from trying. He didn’t want you to meet his friends, mainly because he liked having you all to himself. It meant your attention wasn’t divided four ways.  

-

“These are burnt on the bottom.” You commented, sitting on the kitchen island beside a cooling rack of peanut butter cookies. The peanut butter was JJ’s favorite though you usually didn’t make them because of allergies.  

“They’re fine.” JJ replied, munching on a cookie while he scrolled through tiktok. You rolled your eyes at him and held one up, turning it over to inspect the nearly black bottom of the cookie. JJ had sworn that he would keep an eye on them while you left to talk to your mom on the phone but he’d let the buzzer go two minutes before he finally took it out.

“At least you’re the only one eating them.” You remarked, taking a bite of the one in your hands. You scrunched up your nose at the taste of burnt cookie, “the high better be worth it.”  

JJ put his phone down, pushing off the counter so that he could come over and stand in front of you. You raised an eyebrow as JJ moved your knees apart so that he could stand between your legs. He opened his mouth, letting out an ‘ahh’ and you rolled your eyes at him as you placed the burnt peanut butter cookie in his mouth.  

“It’s burnt.” You reiterated, watching him chew the cookie. You had discovered that JJ could pace himself far better with a blunt than he could a batch of cookies. He’d eat three in a row and get cooked, an unusual occurrence for him. You ran a hand through his hair, brushing it out of his eyes. “Your hair is so greasy it literally stands up on its own.” You teased.

“I washed it!”  

“The last time you went in the ocean does not count as a bath.” You replied. You continued to play with his hair as he leaned closer to you, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.  

“You have off tomorrow?” JJ asked, still munching on his cookie.

“Yeah but my mom’s home all day.” You replied.  

The experimental creating of edibles had led to a friendship and then a something in between. You weren’t quite ready to call JJ your boyfriend but you certainly weren’t entertaining the idea of anyone else. He spent all his time at your house when he wasn’t with his friends or working. Even when your mom was home and there was no baking, he hung around. At work he sought you out throughout the day, more than once crashing whatever activity you were doing with your kids.  

“I was thinking you could come out on the boat with us.” JJ said. He was determined, now that he’d told Kiara he would, to introduce you to everyone. It certainly didn’t mean that he was planning on giving up his alone time with you but he’d concede to Kiara this time. “My friends wanna meet you.”

“Okay, I’d like that.” You replied, smiling at the implication that he was introducing you to his friends, “but I’m making them better cookies cause these are burnt.”

“There’s nothing wrong with them.”

“No but there’s something wrong with me for trusting you to watch the oven.” You said.  

His eyes opened and he pouted at you. “I’m very responsible.”

“I know babe.”  

-

taglist: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @howdyherron @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @tragicmisfits @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @ssprayberrythings @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @jolomez @timotaychalabae 

[mypinkparables]

The Disproportionately High Mortality Rate of Black Mothers and Babies :Facts, Factors, and Fatalities - Cheyenne Adderley

Throughout the history of the world, the loss of a child has always been a traumatic experience. In the past, losing children in their first year of life was a disturbingly common occurrence in the lives of many parents. Contributions that are majorly responsible for this phenomenon of post-neonatal death are diseases/infections, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), malnutrition, low birth weight, home environment issues, and troubled pregnancy. To combat this, pioneers in obstetrics/gynecology and medicine researched and developed ways in which to solve these issues. Immunizations and vaccines were developed to fight infectious diseases, education and emphasis was placed around the need for proper prenatal care, and awareness was brought to a good amount of the known dangers surrounding pregnancy. Many issues that had once plagued parenthood and pregnancies were solved. One problem that was never solved, though, would be the disproportionately high mortality rate of black mothers and babies compared to their white counterparts. Unlike the aforementioned contributions listed above, this high mortality rate is caused by a pervasive structure of systematic and societal racism that is to be explored further in the remainder of this essay. The disproportionately high mortality rate of black mothers and babies is caused by a combination of disadvantages created by societal and systematic racism, the empathy gap, and lack of access to proper prenatal medical treatment.

  The United States of America is a country that was built on the agony, anguish, and affliction of African Americans. Since it’s beginning, black lives and bodies have always been seen as being worth less than everyone else’s in economic, humanitarian, and even educational ways. There is evidence of this in slavery, Jim Crow laws, police brutality, the school-to-prison pipeline, and much, much more. There is no doubt about it, racism in the United States is an unfortunately prevalent part of our society. In terms of racial discrimination in the medical industry, the proof remains plentiful and certified. The Tuskegee Study of Untreated Syphilis in the Negro Male was a secret experiment conducted by the U.S. Public Health Service to study the progression of syphilis without treatment. This experiment was advertised as a treatment for bad blood for colored people. Participants were promised free food, medical examinations, and burial insurance. Hundreds of poor black men signed up. The problem and unethicality within this research is that the men were not fully informed about the truth of the research. There were 600 men in total, 399 diagnosed with Syphilis and 201 did not have this deadly venereal disease. The participants who had been diagnosed with Syphilis were not given any treatment, but were instead essentially left to die so that their bodies could be examined for medical research post-mortem (Brown). This atrocity of a medical experiment is important to one’s understanding of the disproportionately high mortality rate of black mothers and babies because it proves that there exists and has existed, a racial bias in the pain assessment and medical treatment of black people. This bias is the foundation for creating serious health problems in black mothers and babies, specifically, because it is an error in the systematic structure of the lives of one particular group. Problems in systematic structures are especially dangerous because they can impact a group of already previously disadvantaged people on different levels from different angles. In the context of the topics being analyzed, it would be something in close relation to the dismissal of legitimate concerns and symptoms turning into a failure of empathy which perpetuates racial disparities, leading furthermore into wide scale issues similar to,”The United States’ African-American population [being] disproportionately poor. African Americans do not tend to hold employment positions that provide medical benefits” (Fauci 77). Seemingly “small” issues or biases in things that are of major importance to people’s health and livelihood creates room for large discrepancies that become dangerous as things advance and become more serious. These large discrepancies are part of the reason why black mothers are at a higher risk for pregnancies resulting in conditions (i.e. hypertension and pre-eclampsia) that cause higher rates of infant and maternal death. 

  In order to understand how these large discrepancies create and relate to lack of access, the topics of lack of access due to racial bias and their subsequent effects on the pregnancies specifically of black mothers, must be discussed. In the duration of a pregnancy, a woman’s body goes through countless transformations, whether they be physical, emotional, or in the form of something else that is a discomfort. Important necessities in order to help refrain from or stop these changes from disturbing one’s pregnancy include,” exercise and activity, maintaining a healthy weight, caring for your mental health, nutrition, and caring for your oral health” (Omama). This means that one has to have access to the time and resources required in order to maintain the necessities needed for a healthy pregnancy. Racial bias on all levels is partly responsible for perpetuating the higher mortality rate of black mothers and babies because it is what creates the lack of access gap that impacts minority mothers. It, being racial bias, is created when an obstacle is purposefully placed between a person and a thing that they need. In the past, these obstacles existed in the form of slavery or Jim Crow Laws. They were rules that were created in order to preserve the generational  downfall of black people. After the criminalization of segregation, oppressors had to become more creative with the ways in which they oppressed minority groups. This is where lack of access becomes more relevant. Despite the tremendous and widespread need for medical treatment,” many African Americans cannot effectively access medical care. This inaccessibility is due to a variety of factors, including a lack of health insurance, an inadequate number of healthcare facilities, “patient dumping,” difficulty in obtaining prescription drugs and an insufficient number of African-American doctors.” ( Fauci 71). Instead of being upfront with racism and racial bias, oppressors began to create lack of access to the resources minority groups needed to survive and exist comfortably. Once those resources were taken away, it had the same negative impact as slavery and Jim Crow laws, without actually having to be as boldly open and directly wrong. Oppressors succeeded in using lack of access as an updated form of segregation because it was subtle yet effective and able to be made to feel “normal”.  Racial bias being so deeply ingrained into the systematic design of this country to the point where it is seen as normal, is what creates widespread phenomenons such as black mothers and babies being negatively impacted in an unfortunate plethora of ways. The seemingly harmless and minute parts of racial bias all have the ability to exalt oppression. 

The creation and perpetuation of discrimination against the black race on systematic levels causes the trickle down effect that is responsible for certain phenomenons in the medical industry. Racial bias is what gives birth to negative discrepancies between races. When a person begins to look at one group of people as “the other”, they will begin to act differently towards “the other”, consciously or not. The widespread belief that somehow black people are stronger and able to withstand more struggle than others comes from “...an underlying belief that there is a single black experience of the world. Because this belief assumes blacks are already hardened by racism, people believe black people are less sensitive to pain. Because they are believed to be less sensitive to pain, black people are forced to endure more pain” (Silverstein). This may include showing favoritism to other races because of their racial background, using slurs to describe certain races, or even just seemingly harmless jokes. Racial bias is an attitude that can take place and be reflected in many different forms. Bias is not something that can be turned off or hidden. Bias will always find a way to make itself known, but unconscious bias is especially dangerous because it gives people the illusion of not having done anything wrong. It is similar to how a big portion of the general population believes that vaping is somehow a healthier and safer option compared to real cigarette smoking. In both situations, damage is still being done no matter what the appearance of the danger is because the root of the problem still exists in both situations. Unconscious bias is able to explain why things may appear to be equal even though there are still several unfair aspects to society. Implicit biases are so powerful because they have the power to impact almost every facet of life. This means unconscious bias can range from affecting the decision of a police officer choosing whether or not to pull someone over, a hiring manager deciding on who to hire for a new position, or a doctor choosing which method of care to give to a patient. All of these situations can end up being dire and life-altering situations depending on the circumstances, as is. Adding in a bias toward a certain kind of civilian, employee, or patient only ensures that an issue will arise more in that group. Racial bias is what creates the circumstances that allow for black mothers and babies to suffer medically on such a broad and undeniable scale. Implicit bias is what makes the conditions that much worse between black and white mothers. Relating back to the topic of black mothers and babies, implicit bias is a subdivision of the empathy gap. The empathy gap is a phenomenon in which people are not able to emphasize with or fully understand one’s situation because they are cognitively unaware of how to account for the decision making process and mental state of others. There are certain careers in this world that require more empathy than others. For example, doctors and nurses should be able to empathize with patients because of the considerable difference between each one and their case. Situations vary greatly and not everyone comes from the same background with the same knowledge of healthcare and how to get help. This is something that needs to be empathized with and understood because a misunderstanding of this fact is what can lead to a widening of the empathy gap. When a doctor looks at a patient and sees someone from a certain background dealing with a persistent medical condition, that is not the time to begin creating assumptions or premature judgment because when enough doctors begin to view enough of the same negative things in patients of similar backgrounds through a pessimistic lens, people begin to slip through the cracks. Doctors may unknowingly begin to dismiss what a patient feels or doubt how much pain they are truly in because they are desensitized to their humane existence due to the creation of racist or all around negative idealizations. The empathy gap creates a culture of dismissive attitudes and unfair treatment from doctors because they will not take certain cases as seriously if they do not empathize with the patient. This is why it is beyond important for doctors to equally assess, understand, listen to, and treat every patient the same way. Allowing for stereotypes and pessimistic views about a certain group of people only creates a space for those people to suffer. These stereotypes hold no real truth in society and cannot offer any real medical answer to assist a doctor in treating a patient. Empathy is a required skill when people’s lives are at risk. 

     Black mothers and babies have a disproportionately high mortality rate because of the way that society dehumanizes and downplays their existence. There are several reasons as to why and how the mortality rate became what it is, but the main reason is centered around the fact that there is a specific disadvantage placed so harshly onto black women, that it stunts their growth and progression away from phenomenons that should have already been understood and solved due to the updated society that exists in today’s world. These problems still exist because there are people that exist in today’s world, but live and acknowledge the world with the views of someone living seventy years ago. The age old stereotypes, jokes, idealizations, theories, and customs must come to an end in order for black women, mothers, and children to be able progress past the impact racial bias has already made on them. Discrimination on every level plays a part in as to why this mortality rate has been so popularly perpetuated.

  Works Cited

“America Is Failing Its Black Mothers.” Harvard Public Health Magazine, 21 Dec. 2018,                        SSSCCwww.hsph.harvard.edu/magazine/magazine_article/america-is-failing-its-black-motRRRRRhers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf.

Brown, DeNeen L. “'You've Got Bad Blood': The Horror of the Tuskegee Syphilis  RRRRRExperiment.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 16 May 2017, RRRRRwww.washingtonpost.com/news/retropolis/wp/2017/05/16/youve-got-bad-blood-thRRRRRe-horror-of-the-tuskegee-syphilis-experiment/.

Fauci, Cara A.” RACISM AND HEALTH CARE IN AMERICA: LEGAL RESPONSES RRRRRTO RACIAL DISPARITIES IN THE ALLOCATION OF KIDNEYS, RRRRRwww.bc.edu/content/dam/files/schools/law/lawreviews/journals/bctwj/21_1/02_TRRRRRXT.htm.

“Healthy Living.” OMama, www.omama.com/en/pre-pregnancy/healthy-living.asp.

Howard, Jacqueline. “Childbirth Is Killing Black Women, and Here's Why.” CNN, Cable RRRRRNews Network, 15 Nov. 2017, RRRRRwww.cnn.com/2017/11/15/health/black-women-maternal-mortality/index.html?utRRRRRRm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf.

Silverstein, Jason. “Why White People Don't Feel Black People's Pain.” Slate Magazine, RRRRRSlate, 27 June 2013, RRRRRslate.com/technology/2013/06/racial-empathy-gap-people-dont-perceive-pain-in-otRRRRRher-races.html.

Villarosa, Linda. “Why America's Black Mothers and Babies Are in a Life-or-Death RRRRRCrisis.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 11 Apr. 2018, RRRRRwww.nytimes.com/2018/04/11/magazine/black-mothers-babies-death-maternal-moRRRRRrtality.html?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf.

[phykios]

honesty and promise me, part 4 [co-written with @darkmagyk] [read on ao3]

 July twelfth dawns like any other day, Annabeth wrapped up in Percy’s sheets. She’s spent significantly more nights in his bed than she’s spent in her own apartment over the last two months, but who could blame her? This bed is literally to die for. Therapeutic mattress for the fucking win.

 Percy, to her greatest confusion and chagrin, is a morning person. Well, actually, what he is is someone who runs on very little sleep for three weeks at a time, before crashing headfirst into his bed for thirteen hours. It is a decidedly unhealthy way to live, but it means that Annabeth is used to waking up alone. The nights where she gets to wake up with Percy are the nicer ones, sure, but his presence is suffused in every corner of the room, his smell wafting from every piece of sweaty clothing tossed haphazardly about the floor, so much so that she never feels like she is truly waking up alone.

 Gross? A little. But the smell is oddly sexy, too, especially after he’s just come home from a run, all wet and glistening and flushed, panting hard--

 Ahem.

 The point is, when Annabeth rolls out of bed in one of Percy’s shirts (the one that says “Do You Even Lift, Bro?” with an image of a male dancer raising his partner, courtesy of one Jason Grace) and stumbles into the kitchen for one of Percy’s patented brunch specials, it’s a pretty normal morning. What catches her off guard is the spread: eggs and bacon, obviously, with fruit and granola and yogurt, but also an enormous tray of delicious, flaky croissants, perfectly crescent shaped, with little bowls of every condiment imaginable, multiple flavors of jams and preserves and Nutellas.

 “Bounjour, mademoiselle!” Percy says cheerfully from the oven, perfectly accented, bending over to take out a tray. “Ça va bien?”

 “Um… bonjour…” She pokes a croissant experimentally, and is equally delighted and dismayed to find that it is just as flaky as advertised.

 “Take a seat, these ones just need to cool for a bit and then we can get started.”

 Spring in his step, he opens the refrigerator, taking out the most beautiful cake Annabeth has ever seen in her entire life. Perfectly round, paper white, with little blue borders piped around the edge, but it’s got Annabeth feeling like she’s just been doused in cold water. “How the hell did you know it was my birthday?”

 Immediately, she knows it was the exact wrong thing to say. His eyes go wide as the saucers on the table, mouth open in shock. “It’s your birthday?”

 Goddammit. “Um.”

 “Why didn’t you say anything?”

 Because birthdays were inherently a dumb concept? Because her father had to be reminded of her birthday more often than not? Because her mother had stopped sending her birthday cards after she turned thirteen, calling them a waste of money and resources? “I don’t know,” she shrugs, dipping her finger into the strawberry jam. “I guess I just didn’t think it was a big deal. Ooh, does this have rosemary in it?”

 “Annabeeeeth,” he whines, plopping the cake onto the kitchen island. “I can’t believe you! I love birthdays.”

 “Well,” she flounders, attempting to duck his sudden attention, “what were you originally celebrating? I don’t usually think of cake as a brunch option.”

 He raises an eyebrow, not at all impressed with her attempts to change the topic, but he answers dutifully, “Originally, we were celebrating me being one month cig-free--”

 “Percy!” Annabeth gasps, clapping her hands delightedly, and a little exaggeratedly. “That’s great!”

 “But,” he continues, “now we’re definitely celebrating your birthday instead.”

 “Oh, come on!”

 “Nuh uh,” he chides, grabbing his phone and beginning to type something, “I am asking Nico to pick you up a birthday card as we speak.”

 Oh. “Nico’s coming?”

 “Well, this is his apartment. Part of the deal is that I make him breakfast. I think he’s bringing his boyfriend.”

 “Is… anyone else coming?”

 “Just a couple of people, my friends Frank, Grover, Rachel… I invited Hazel and Thalia, too, but I think Hazel told me she was busy, and you know Thalia. If it’s not at a crappy dive bar then the odds of her showing up are virtually none.” Percy pauses in his text, fixing her with an odd look. “You really don’t want anyone to know, do you?”

 How easily he reads her is a little disconcerting, and also a thought that she just can’t handle right now. “I just don’t like people making a big deal out of it. You know, it’s just another day. I’d much rather celebrate you quitting.”

 He holds her gaze for a beat, before smiling, finishing typing out whatever he was doing on his phone. “Yes, I am officially quitting. Cigarettes are terrible for you, and I do not have the money to keep up the habit. So, I swear,” he holds up a hand, “No cigarettes, no weed, no vaping. Not that I ever vaped before.”

 “Oh, never?” Annabeth teases.

 “Not ever.” He leans in, grinning that devastating grin that is seriously detrimental to her health. “You could not pay me enough.”

 “Good.” She goes to meet him, pressing her mouth to his, sweetly and chastely, but swiftly turning deeper, almost against their higher brain functions, like they only exist to be here in this moment, lips against lips, tongue and tongue. She’s always hated the taste of cigarettes, she prefers edibles to blunts, and anyone who vapes is automatically dropped from her list of potential partners… but she’s never minded the taste of ash on Percy’s tongue. It was just another part of him, another facet of the whole sexy package.

 Now, though, she has the full taste of him, unfettered and unfiltered, his morning coffee and his morning breath. It is disgusting, but again, oddly thrilling. This is Percy, stripped down and divested of all the trappings of blue lipstick and tight pants. She wonders what he thinks when he sees her like this, messy haired, face and ears empty of metal, last night’s mascara smudged all around her eyes. Given the way that he deliberately threads her hair through his fingers, winding the frizzy curls around him, pulling her close enough that the pristine cake is in danger from some serious smushing, she thinks he likes it just as much.

 Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on which perspective, either Percy’s, Annabeth’s, Nico’s, or the cake’s, their little impromptu makeout session has cold water dumped on it before they can end up doing it on the kitchen island. The sound of someone unlocking the front door is almost comically loud, and they break apart, equally red and flushing.

 “Gross,” says Nico di Angelo. “No heterosexuality allowed in my kitchen.”

 “Take that back, you biphobic ass,” Percy says. “I have never been heterosexual in my life.”

 “I’m not biphobic, I just don’t want to see you getting it on on my marble countertops.”

 “Speak for yourself,” chimes in Will, setting down a grocery bag right on the spot which would have been ground zero. “Hi, Annabeth.”

 “Hey, Will.”

 “Nice of you to join us today,” he says, as though he doesn’t see her here all the time.

 She offers her assistance in cooking or setting up, knowing full well that she will be firmly rebuffed--domestics are not her strong suit, by any stretch of the imagination--and is sent away with an iced coffee that Will has so thoughtfully bought for her instead of the birthday card she was dreading.

 Soon after, the party is in full swing.

 Well, she uses the term party loosely. It is fairly intimate, even with Nico’s enormous apartment making everything smaller. They have assembled an odd amalgamation of people: “You already know Nico,” Percy says, indicating the goth prince next to, “and Will,” his boyfriend, the perpetually cheery med student, next to, “and this is Frank,” a large, physically imposing man with a shy smile, next to, “Rachel,” a red-headed girl who looked like she just walked out of a paint shower, all making space for, “and my buddy Grover,” the guy in crutches who had immediately dropped into the single, out-of-decor, but extremely comfortable-looking loveseat Nico had placed nearest to the bathroom. All told, they look like the brochure for a community college who really, really wants to publicize how diverse their student body is, but with a kind of natural chemistry and camaraderie that those kids on that brochure could only dream of. “Everyone, this is Annabeth.”

 They greet her, each giving a limp wave.

 Then Percy leaves to attend to his brunch spread, but not before giving her a quick peck on the cheek. She can feel all eyes on them, hot and burning.

 Silence.

 “So,” Annabeth says, as awkward as a freshman in an orientation mixer. “What’s up?”

 “Your hair is amazing,” says Rachel.

 Hers is crusted with paint, a deep red that turns pink against the orange in the light, a close cousin to Annabeth’s, which is in dire need of a touchup, curls thrown in disarray by Percy’s grasping fingers. “Thanks, I--”

 “So how do you two know each other?”

 Annabeth blinks. “Friend of Thalia’s,” she says. “You?”

 “Used to do ballet together,” Rachel says, brusque, efficient. “Frank, too.”

 Frank waves again.

 A beat passes.

 Annabeth looks to Grover, who watches, bemused. “You, too, I take it?”

 Another second. Then he laughs, weird, but hearty, a joyful bleat. “Oh, sure,” he says. “I’m a regular Baryshnikov.”

 She can almost feel the room relaxing, heaving a sigh after holding its breath.

 “Are you with NYCB, too?” she turns to Frank, shoving her hands in her pockets, fingers curling around the fabric there.

 Shaking his head, he swallows his orange juice. “I mostly do modern and hip hop, now, music videos and stuff.”

 Objectively, she knows that you don’t have to be skinny as a rake or bodybuilding champion to dance, but Frank is neither of these, a huge, sweet-faced guy with a healthy layer of fat around his face and torso--a strict counterpart to Percy, who could give the Belvedere Apollo a run for its money. “Have I seen you in anything?” Not that she really watches music videos, but she figures it’s the polite thing to ask.

 “Um, maybe,” he shrugs, embarrassed. “I’ve been lucky enough to work with some really big people.” Though he offers no further details.

 “Working on anything cool?” She asks, doing her best not to cajole.

 He nods. “Percy and I have a thing coming out probably in the next month or so, with--ah, well. Can’t say.”

 “Tease,” Rachel grumbles, tossing back her mimosa. “I’ve been trying to get the secret out of him for months.”

 Frank smiles, secretive and a little smug. “Sorry. You’ll find out along with everyone else.”

 “Do you work together a lot?” Annabeth asks. She had thought that Percy was strictly ballet--though, she supposes dancers do crossover work more often these days, if only for the money.

 “Not as much as we used to, sadly,” he replies. “We actually lived together in Paris for a few years while he was contracted with the opera before I decided to come back home. Vancouver,” he adds at her unspoken question.

 “Bit of a hike, from Vancouver to New York,” says Grover.

 Frank shrugs. “I was in town anyway, and I haven’t seen Percy in about a year.”

 Annabeth frowns, doing some mental math. If Frank hadn’t seen him in two years, then that meant… that Percy had been alone in Paris all that time. The man thrives off of friendship and social interaction; no wonder he was jonesing to come back to America.

 “Remind me again how long you two were together?” Rachel asks, red hair bouncing as she cocks her head. A jolt goes down Annabeth’s spine, appraising Frank in an entirely new light.

 “On and off for about two years,” says Frank, thoughtful. “But I just lived with him to save money. The rent in Paris sucks.”

 “And you were the best roommate I ever had,” Percy says, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “Clean, good cook, better kisser--”

 Frank shoves him away.

 “You’ve only ever had one other roommate, other than Nico or your mom,” Grover points out. “That one guy when you first moved overseas--Frodo? Fedora?”

 “Fyodor,” Percy corrects. “He was terrible. I didn’t know any Russian, he didn’t know any English, and our French wasn’t good enough to actually hash it out, so he just gave me a permanent cold shoulder.”

 “Kind of a low bar, don’t you think?”

 “And there was my roommate in Boston.”

 Sharply, she turns her head. “You lived in Boston?”

 “Yeah, for like a year. I told you I was with Boston Ballet for a little bit, didn’t I?”

 Pretty sure he didn’t. She almost opens her mouth to retort, to ask when and compare notes, to mention that she lived in Boston, too, before remembering who she is with, swallowing her words.

 “Fyodor hated you,” Frank hums, reentering the circle. He’d wandered away and returned with a croissant, dipped in chocolate.

 “Trust, me, the feeling was mutual.”

 “It must have been,” Frank says, “because I saw your new apartment after he kicked you out--that place made a shoebox look luxurious.”

 Something in Percy’s face almost falls when Frank says that. Annabeth is sure there is a story there.

 But Rachel laughs. “Annabeth, you have no idea. It was a      Chambre de bonne    ,” she says, exaggerating the accent, “which might sound super fancy and French and cool, but trust me, it wasn’t at all. It was this size.” She slaps the kitchen island, a little too hard, her third mimosa making her loose-limbed and loud. “When I visited for Thanksgiving that year      I     had to pay for the heating bill, because Percy basically refused.”

 “It was cozy,” Percy mutters, suddenly very preoccupied with the half a croissant on his plate.

 “It was not.” Rachel says. “It was sad and cold and small.”

 Nico looks interested, but not nearly as boisterous as Rachel or Frank, “Was that the place…”

 “Ye,” Percy cuts him off, “Yes it was.” He smiles, Stepford-strained. “But, then Frank came to town, and so did his grandmother’s money.” He slaps Frank on the back. “And I got a bathtub.”

 “I still can’t believe that a ballet dancer lived anywhere for two years without a place to soak,” Frank says, shuddering.

 “I can’t believe you waited until Frank got to Paris to get yourself a sugar daddy,” Grover quips. Percy throws a grape at him. Grover, to her immense surprise, manages to catch it in his mouth.

 Annabeth can’t really be impressed. This is the second time someone has brought up Percy and Frank having a history. Something hot and angry curls in her stomach. But Percy is laughing.

 Rachel laughs too. “Oh, he didn’t wait,” she says. “He had a bevy of sugar mommies for trips to Ibiza and Moscow and Beijing.”

 “It was Tokyo,” Percy says, “and they weren’t my Sugar Mamas.” He turns to Annabeth, sheepish, but not actually shameful. “They weren’t. Honestly.”

 “Uh huh.”

 “They were mostly Kym’s friends, and sometimes we’d go out when they were in town, and if we had fun, they’d invite me wherever they were going next. And if I didn’t have to work, I’d go with.”

 “I have heard rumors,” Will says, popping his head in, Nico attached to his hip, “of Percy Jackson, boy toy of the rich and famous of Europe. Is it true?”

 “Yes,” Grover and Rachel say at once.

 “Do you want to hear about that, Will?” Percy asks, “Or would you rather hear about the summer Nico came to stay with me and Frank before he started college, and slept with every single dancer in Europe except Frank?”

 Nico waves him off. “Only because you were already sleeping with him, cause he was your sugar daddy. Not like I needed the money.”

 “It wasn’t like that.” Frank says.

 “And now that we’ve aired all of my dirty laundry,” says Percy, “I need to borrow Annabeth for a second.” Gently, but with force, he tugs her arm, his other hand around her waist, directing her where to go like she’s one of his dance partners. Usually, she minds--a lot. She’s not about to let anyone, let alone a man, tell her where to go--but, you know, it’s Percy. Alone time with him is never a bad thing.

 He pulls her into the hallway, shoving his hand into his pocket. “What’s up?” she asks.

 “So.” Mouth open, he pauses for a moment, just… looking at her. His eyes are soft, warm like the first day of spring.

 “What?”

 “Uh, nothing,” he shakes himself a little, pulling his hand out. “Sorry, I just--I know you said you didn’t want anyone making a big deal out of your birthday…”

 Oh, no. She braces herself for the worst.

 Uncurling his fingers, he reveals his present for her.

 “It’s… a pin?”

 “Yeah,” he smiles. “Remember when I took my sister to the Met a few weeks ago? They were having that thing on Egyptian jewelry? Well, of course we had to stop in the gift shop, and I saw this and just--you know, thought of you.”

 It is a pin--one of those lapel pins that more often than not are added to a collection usually displayed on a backpack. This pin is a silhouette she recognizes instantly: the Parthenon, its columns and angles rendered in sterling silver, little grooves dug into the metal in an approximation of the fluting.

 “Wow,” she breathes. “Thank you.”

 “It was nothing.” His ears are pink. “Happy birthday.”

 And then he hugs her.

 After a moment, she hugs him back.

 It’s amazing how she can have had sex with someone so many times, but feel so awkward giving them a hug.

 “I didn’t, um, tell anyone else,” he says, pulling back. His hands linger on her shoulders, thumb tapping at the base of her neck. “But, I kept meaning to give this to you, so, you know, now was as good a time as any, yeah?”

 “I love it,” she says, honestly. Which surprises her. “Thank you.”

 She slips it into her own pocket, not even minding the sharp corners.

 When they return, Nico has already cut into the cake. “You were taking too long,” he snips.

 It really is delicious. Much, much later, Percy sends her home with a sweet, soft kiss, and one of the last remaining slices, rather than staying for dinner.

 Percy is the kind of boy who goes to his mother’s for dinner every week. She had been invited, but also threatened with the promise of another cake, and his ten year old sister, who would “love to make you a present.”

 It sounded nice, but Annabeth knew when she wasn’t really wanted, and so she demurred, citing a need for some solo downtime.

 She hasn’t heard from Thalia in, like, four days, which meant she had probably gotten a short-term gig. (“You’re lucky, she’s had Jason paying for her phone the whole time you’ve known her. Before that, she was almost impossible to get ahold of.”) Piper would take her out to dinner tomorrow, “just because.” But they would both know it wasn’t true.

 So, to refresh and relax after a long, harrowing day of socializing, Annabeth goes home.

 Or at least to her apartment.

 It doesn’t have a doorman, or the views, or the room, like Nico’s place. Nor does it have any of the people, the energy, the joy. Her furniture doesn’t fill it up. The most appetizing thing in her kitchen are the granola bars Percy had made the week before, or maybe the brownies he made four days ago. She sets her to-go bag of cake and croissants down next to them, a smorgasboard of Percy’s culinary prowess.

 Despite the long hours, her clothes still smell a little like last night’s bar, and her skin has a faint patina of dried sex sweat, and smudged makeup.

 She doesn’t want to start leaving things at Percy’s place--don’t want him to get the wrong idea--but she also occasionally needs to be able to touch up her eyeliner. She’s either going to have to find a bag that isn’t embarrassing to carry, or surreptitiously shove some eyeliner and lipstick next to the condoms in Percy’s nightstand next time they have a sleepover. Or raid Nico’s bathroom.

 Regardless, she needs a wash something bad.

 As she scrubs down, she does her best to focus on the lemon scent of her body wash, and not Percy’s perfect form, dripping with water. She tries to visualize her last trip to Sephora, not blowing him under the hot water.

 It doesn’t really work, so she gets herself clean and gets herself off and considers just spending the rest of the day naked, in case the mood strikes her again. But it's only 5PM, and she doesn’t have Percy to cook her some dinner tonight, so she sucks it up and puts on some pants.

 When she had visited Boston for work a couple of months back, Alex had insisted on taking her shopping, complaining that her sister and her friend Mallory didn’t understand Versace quite like Annabeth did, and that Blitz sucked all the fun out of fashion, anyway. Then, she had bullied Annabeth into buying a set of sweats, claiming it was because of the Grecian patterns, but probably because she thought Annabeth in that much purple would be funny.

 But eventually, she had wheedled, cajoled, and threatened Annabeth into buying a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. After deciding to forgo a bra, because that is just one more area she has always fallen short in, she shoves on a School of Architecture underneath them. The crimson clashes terribly with the lavender and seafoam, but she kind of likes it. Piper would call it “artfully nauseating,” or something.

 Besides, no one is going to see her but her delivery guy. And if someone did see her, someone like Thalia or Percy, well, the clashing colors would be the least of her worries.

 She is folded into her couch, wedged into the corner, very much      not     looking up Paris Ballet clips from the past few years, trying to spot Percy in the background, when there is a knock on her door.

 Not for the first time, she curses her lack of doorman--and then frowns. Who even knows where she lives?

 Piper and Leo? Magnus and Alex?

 Has she already ordered food and just forgotten?

 Is memory loss a side effect of a SK-II mask no one had warned her about?

 Tentatively, she creeps towards the door, opening it slowly. If this were a horror movie, the door would creak open, revealing the villain cast in the shadows of the hallway, holding his weapon of choice.

 She sighs.

 The man is only a few inches taller than her, and dressed impeccably in a t-shirt and jeans that probably cost half a year of her rent-- a big critique coming from her, since she wears a month of her own rent as sweats. His blond hair is impeccably combed, his tennis shoes impeccably white, and his smile the most charming thing you can find this side of the Brooklyn Bridge.

 “Happy birthday, girly,” he says, giving her an awkward, one-armed hug, trying to avoid getting any of her facemask on his shirt.

 “What are you doing here?”

 “It's your birthday,” he reminds her, holding up the bag. “I told you I’d stop by last week.”

 Had he? Maybe, and she’d just been too drunk or hung over to really process it. But maybe he’d also meant to, and then failed to follow through. Luke has a bit of a nasty habit of treating his intentions as the same as his actions. His intentions are good, usually, but it means that he often ignored the actual actions. Like how his intention was to support his mother in the best nursing home in the northeast, but his action was to work with Saturn, a very shady hedge fund, to facilitate it. Or how his intention was to have someone at a stuffy party to talk to, but his action was dressing up Annabeth as his arm candy because none of Piper’s models would call him back anymore. He hasn’t asked her to do that since, like, February though, thankfully.

 “Sorry,” Annabeth says. “I just… you know I don’t like my birthday.”

 He also has a bit of a habit of ignoring her distaste in a really blatant way.

 He’s a little like Percy that way, actually.

 She’d only ever told Luke about her birthday back in those embarrassing freshman days, when she’d thought he looked as good on paper as any Harvard MBA student possibly could, with a devastating smile to match. She’d been so convinced that he would be the right boyfriend that might finally get her mother’s approval, and she figured that her future husband should know her birthday.

 “Come in,” she says, reaching for the bag, but he shakes his head and brushes past her, dumping his black back on the coffee table. Graciously, he doesn’t look at her as he starts to empty out its contents, giving her an opportunity to dart back to her bathroom and peel off her facemask. Luke would forgive designer sweats, but they aren't at the “just chilling in a facemask” level of a relationship.

 When she returns, there is a small assembly line arranged on her coffee table: a stack of paper plates, a carton of Haagen Daas, forks and spoons, and a Milk Bar cake, all wrapped in its box.

 “Is Milk Bar still the ‘it’ thing?” she asks. “With locations all over the country, I figured it would be passé by now.”

 “I know it’s your favorite,” Luke says. “I don’t always have to choose the most popular thing.”

 Milk Bar had been her favorite, that is true, right up until she’d started fucking Percy Jackson, and eating his food.

 “Thanks,” she says, cutting herself a slice, and scooping herself some ice cream.

 “That’s all you’re going to get?” he asks, cutting himself a sliver.

 “I have had so much cake today,” she says. Milk Bar really isn’t as good as Percy's, but it reminds her of birthdays in high school, waiting for her mother to visit, sneaking out when she inevitably didn’t, convincing the local bad boy to buy her some alcohol. She eats it, eagerly.

 Luke’s jaw drops. “You had a birthday cake? By choice? On your birthday?”

 She shakes her head, swallowing. “No, I was at a party with some friends. They didn’t even know it was my birthday,” Until she had stupidly revealed it. Whatever. She just has to make sure he’s been excised from her life by this time next year. And maybe freeze some of his baked goods beforehand.

 Luke doesn’t let her go through with her evening plans, which consisted basically of watching      Legally Blonde     for the gazillionth time while she slurped down some pierogies, but he capitulates to      Roman Holiday    , helping her put away the leftover cake and ice cream. “Thanks,” she says, when the movie was done. “I’m glad you came over. “

 No one ever comes over. Thalia is her best friend, but Thalia would have questions about how she could afford the place, Piper never understood why she’d moved out here at all, and Percy… Percy was irrelevant. There is no reason for him to come here.

 “I always like to see my best girl.” He smiles at her, charming and rogueish.

 “If all those models you keep trying to date know that your best girl is an architect who lives in Brooklyn who you actually feed, that’s probably why they don’t want to date you back.”

 Luke laughs, leaning over and knocking his shoulder against her own. “None of those girls could hold a candle to you.”

 “God, you must be a terrible boyfriend.”

 “Probably,” he agrees, sitting up and stretching, before reaching back to the bag he brought the cake in. “After all, you are the one I bring all the nice presents. But I think I’m a pretty good friend.”

 He takes out a box, burnt orange, a black ribbon wrapped around it, because Luke is nothing if not predictable.

 Annabeth sighs internally, quietly reminding herself that money is how Luke shows his love. And that she is wearing Versace sweats.

 “Herm  é  s,” she says, pulling off the ribbon. “This box looks too small for a Birkin.”

 “Do you want a Birkin?” he asks. “I can get you a Birkin.”

 “I probably don’t need a Birkin,” she admits. Though maybe it would be nice to have one in her closet, if her mom ever calls her up for lunch again. She could show up with a Birkin and an eyebrow ring. Sweet revenge.

 Luke waves a hand. “It doesn't matter if you need one, just if you want one.”

 Inside the box is a scarf, the silk soft and smooth between her fingers, a pleasing gradient of oranges and reds and pinks and corals. When she unfolds it, laying it out before her, she finds a sharp, geometric design, columns stacked together like skyscrapers. Luke obviously had her in mind when he picked it out.

 “Thanks,” she says. It’s pretty--perfect for an ambitious young architect with two degrees from Harvard who had moved to New York City with an offer from one of the best architecture firms in the world. And Annabeth has no idea where she could possibly want or need to wear it.

 “Hey,” Luke says, suddenly soft, “don’t cry.”

 Shocked, she reaches her hand up to her face. It’s wet.

 Luke is probably the only person she will let herself cry in front of. She’d spent three years doing that in college. He’d seen her through heartbreak and hangovers, guiding her through it all like an aloof big brother.

 “I’m okay,” she hiccups, wiping her nose.

 He hands her a napkin.

 Annabeth blows her nose, wet and gross. “I’m sorry, I promise I’m alright.”

 “You sure?” He sounds sincere, but she catches him glancing down at his wrist.

 “Do you have a date?”

 “I…” At least he has the decency to look sheepish. “Just some guys at work. You can come, if you want.”

 It could be fun. Hanging out with Luke can be fun. Get a little lit, take a business bro home, screw his brains out, send him on his way. But there’s an unspoken dress code to these things, and Annabeth just doesn’t wear Louboutins anymore. And the idea of fucking a business bro just… doesn’t hold any appeal right now.

 “No thanks,” she nods, using the clean edge of the napkin to wipe her eyes. “I am going to watch      The Search For Elle Woods    , and you're going to strike out with some models, and everyone is going to be happy.”

 “You really are so mean to me.” Luke complains, as she walks him to the door, before giving her another hug. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”

 “I am.” She is different and new, but Luke is still her friend. She had survived. It would be okay.

 “Well, call me if you need something.” He kisses her cheek, sweetly, without any heat. Perfectly platonic. “I love you very much. Happy birthday.”

 “Thanks,” she says, “I’ll see you around.”

 “Always.” And he is gone.

 She folds the scarf, going to put it in the dresser in her room, shoving it among a handful of accessories, gathering dust. She realizes, with a start, that she’s left a week’s worth of clothes all over her room on the way to the shower, and, with a sigh of adulthood, and the knowledge that if she doesn’t follow the ADHD gods and pick them up now, they’ll be there for weeks, languishing on her floor and stinking up the place, she goes to at least move them into her hamper. She rifles through ripped jeans and band t-shirts and black socks as she goes, checking each for anything like discarded change or a bus pass she doesn’t want to wash.

 She shakes out the pants she’d worn out the night before, and therefore the entire day until she’d gotten home. There is a rather unfortunate stain on the knee that she can’t quite parse--ketchup? Chocolate?

 Then she reaches into the pockets, touching metal, and she suddenly remembers her other birthday present for the day.

 Pulling out the pin, she feels strange, hot in the face, funny in the belly, tossing the jeans haphazardly in with the dirty laundry. It's small and shiny, cheap metal for mass market production, and yet, she walks it over to the dresser, laying it down on the silk scarf like it's the diamond broach her aunt gave her for her sixteenth birthday.

 She really is beyond Hermès scarves now. But that pin? Well, you never really can get more Annabeth--the middle school know-it-all, teenage debutante, college perfectionist, New York yuppy, or barfly and punk princess--than one of the greatest architectural achievements in human history.

 She is still a little shocked by how much she loves it. How much it means to her that Percy saw that it was perfect for her.

 And like so many times when she is confronted with an emotion she doesn’t like, she slams the door closed, and goes and watches a favorite movie from high school.

 She does order dinner, eventually, setting out her meal in between texting Piper about brunch tomorrow. It's a whole thing, pretending that they’re not going out for her birthday, but eventually they agree on a time and a place, and she can eat her sausage and watch everyone practice the Bend and Snap in peace.  

 So she is very annoyed when her phone buzzes again.

 Maybe the reservation fell through. Or maybe she doesn’t want Annabeth to show up in ripped fishnets, even though that only happened once.

 Her stomach sinks when she checks her phone. It isn’t Piper.

Hello Dear, Happy Birthday. We miss you. Please call anytime. Love Dad, Mary, and the boys.  

 Below the text is a link, leading to a gift certificate for $200 to Sephora, which has Mary’s name written all over it. Aunt Natalie would have suggested Bergdorf Goodman.

 Her hand clenches, momentarily overcome with the urge to hurl her phone against the wall. But there is no one around, so there wouldn’t be any point to it.

 She stabs at a pierogi with a chopstick, and watches the girls dance on screen, humming along.

 She passes out on the couch after midnight.

 Her mother never called.

[bustedbernie]

Small(big) Wish List for Biden Admin:

Massively expanded, electrified regional rail with bi-directional service patterns throughout the day. 

Infrastructure bank for system-sized projects (like, MARTA, BART and WMATA of the 60s type). Freeway deconstruction incentives/grants for urbanized areas. 

A general operations fund bank for each of the country’s 50 largest metropolitan areas to manage some type of 10-minute-max frequency bus/light rail system on major corridors until at least midnight.

A robust Carbon Cap-and-Trade system - coupled with gas and road taxes that better reflect usage and degradation and privilege public transport investment. 

Redistribution of farm subsidies to privilege small farmers and ranchers and incentivize crop rotation and crop diversity, grants for field and soil restoration. More grants for top-soil preservation programs. A national right-to-repair mandate for all machinery, from computers to washing machines to combine harvesters. Grants for cities to expand, install or rehabilitate local and regional markets. Incentives and grants for major food retailers to rotate local products into local supermarkets  followed by benchmarks of certain products and bans on ugly-food as trash (France as a model here). Food education in schools, including proper lunches designed by dieticians AND chefs. Develop a child’s palette, discourage pickiness, and encourage a connection to food. Ketchup is not a vegetable. Kids are smart, teach them. 

Enforcement of Amtrak’s priority on rails owned by cargo network - backed by threat of nationalization of the rails and/or a return to the mandate that rail companies provide a public transportation service. 

Grants for business owners with knowledge of the Grocery Trade to open/expand into food deserts.

Incentives/grants for cities/states to abolish single-home zoning. Incentivize cities to densify important corridors. More public housing (no more limits). More work-force housing. Incentives for nearby suburbs to create walkable, transit oriented neighborhoods tied better into the dominant city. 

DC Statehood - no ifs, ands or buts about it - coupled with a regionally funded, federal bank for the WMATA system. It shouldn’t be held hostage any longer. 

Federal takeover of the California High Speed Rail Project, with funded completion of Phase 1 (San Francisco to Los Angeles) - including grants for all needed infra. Integrate with a new Federal High Speed Rail Authority to begin planning and executing several regional high-speed corridors, much like the Interstate Program of the 50s, including a merger of NYC Regional Rail operators. The United States must cultivate the talent and know-how to drive down the cost and failures of these projects. 

School funding dictated at state-level (or higher). No more tax drain from disadvantaged school districts nor highly-funded schools in wealthy districts at the expense of other schools. No more vouchers. Charter schools restricted and/or reformed. (Canada could be good example here)

Rethinking the school-day. Shorter, less homework, more social activities. (perhaps Finland as an example?). Rotate schedules. After-school enrichment programs should be available. Stipends for child-care. 

States should be incentivized to reinvest in public universities/HBCUs, along with the federal government, to ensure university is not only affordable but free to most (at point of payment/registration). Community Colleges deserve more investment. I’m down for some measure of both public and private student loan forgiveness (tax-free). 

Return of the Fairness Doctrine. Enforce genre licensing for television and radio stations/channels/programs. 

Robust public option. Needle exchange and counseling. Negotiated pharmacy products. Ban pharmaceutical advertising. Grants for reorganization or state takeover of failing private hospitals and medical organizations. 

Abolish the Death Penalty. Rethink the entire carceral system. I’ve already written about that here. But in short: ban the box, in-prison work and education programs that enrich prisoners(and count for double-time served), literacy programs in prisons, separate drugs from justice - let health handle it, address systemic causes of crime (poverty, health, etc), non-violent offenders don’t need to be locked up forever - use their contact with the law to direct them toward help. Community policing, social work integration, and a new agency that polices the use of force and the police themselves (Ireland/France as models on policing the police)(Norway and Portugal as examples on other areas)(Other areas still, we just need to start exploring new areas and listening to experts to craft something totally new). 

Dreams that prolly can never come true:

No more TSA, open borders with Canada and Mexico if not lots of other countries. Let people get around freely! 

Expanded definition of “refugee” 

Public arts and conventions given the same funding level as stadiums and sports

A universal ban on cotton candy flavored vape ‘smoke’ in public spaces

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #348

“nothing will be free  /  nothing will be done  /  black out the sun”

Do you have any famous relatives? My third or so cousin is the author of Not Without My Daughter, but she's not like a smash hit or anything that most people know. I really do recommend the book, though. It's a long read, but a beautiful, true story. Do you care about celebrity gossip? Nah. Have you ever failed a science course in high school? No; I was very good at science. What’s your favorite breakfast food? Cinnamon rolls. Does your house have a basement? No. No house I've ever lived in has had one. Do you like Hot Topic? Well duh. Do you think imagination is valuable? VERY! Just imagine how many incredible things wouldn't exist without it. What was your reaction to your first time falling in love? Unspeakably happy, and I felt like I was building a future with someone. I felt like I had purpose, which I should mention to anyone reading is a mindset to NEVER adopt. No one gives you purpose; you're born with it. How much weight can you lift at once? Ha, not a lot. When you have your own house someday, what color Christmas tree do you want and how will you decorate it? I want a black one with faux snow on the branches, then maybe red ornaments. Kinda look like blood dripping off. Sounds metal. Name three YouTube channels you’ve been loving lately. Lately, John Wolfe, The Dark Den, and Aim To Head Mix. Have you ever bought a designer purse? No. Do you wear jewelry often? No. What color was your senior prom dress? Black. Are you colorblind? No. Name the people you know who are colorblind. Jason's older brother is colorblind to two colors, but idr which. Would you ever consider a career in writing? I'd love to. What was your first favorite color? Red. What do you think about horror movies? I love them. If you love them, what’s your favorite? I really enjoy The Crazies and both The Blair Witch Project movies. Oh, and of course Silent Hill. Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I don't have the money to get anyone presents... and while I sometimes get ideas about something I could make someone, then it wouldn't be fair to the rest of my family if I don't make them something, too. What’s your favorite word and why? I really like the sound of "serendipity," as well as its meaning. It's just a pretty, nice word. Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? Not really... I think the coolest thing I made was when I put the clay heart I made in Art into a shadowbox, and a poem I wrote was in the background. It was a gift for Jason. I remember working really hard on the whole process and being really happy with it. I don't want to know what he's done with it since. What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? I don't know. What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? Everyone knows about Venus' terrarium by now... Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? No. Ever done drugs? No. Tell me one of your worst habits. Catastrophizing. I take a tiny seed of something potentially bad, and in seconds it's a damn redwood tree. And I do mean "in seconds." What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? I don't know, I don't have any particularly unique ones, I think. If you game, what type of headset do you use? I just use earbuds. Do you think you would be a good therapist? You know, it's funny, I've actually pictured myself as one a few times, given my level of understanding and empathy for people, as well as how deeply I want to see others succeed and spread the word that recovery from things like depression is very possible. I've never truly entertained the thought, though, given I'm quite sure I legally couldn't be given my suicidal past and mental illnesses. There is also NO way I could listen to so many people's suffering and manage to stay healthy myself, so, no therapist position for me, thanks. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? Creamy, 100%. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Roman has an adorable navy one with a bowtie. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? Old friends, sure. What is something you want to begin learning? I want to improve my ability to perform what in therapy is called "opposite action," where you do the opposite of what your depression (or other conditions) make you want to do. It always helps me feel good, like when I draw even when I don't initially feel like it, but it's rough to really force yourself to do it. What is a food you find comforting when you are sad? Ice cream is my comfort food. What is a quote you find comfort in? There are really a lot, but none come to mind immediately, gah. What is one Tumblr blog you really appreciate? I actually haven't been on my main Tumblr in months, but oh my god there is a Markiplier blog called "lady-raziel" and she is FUCKING HYSTERICAL. The meme quality is A+. What is a comfort movie/show for you? When I actually liked watching movies, I enjoyed watching Silent Hill when I was down. That whole franchise just makes me so happy. What is a recent creative project that you are proud of? That I'm PROUD of, idk. I'm not that happy with the last drawing I made, and I haven't done any serious writing lately that I find noteworthy. What is a video game that you find comforting? Shadow of the Colossus is probably #1. I find it so relaxing while equally epic as fuck. The soundtrack is to die for, and after playing it a billion times, it's pretty easy for me to kinda breeze through and just enjoy myself. Do you know how to bake bread? If so, what is something you’ve baked recently? No. Would you rather live in the mountains, city, beach, or the forest? THE MOUNTAINS!!! Particularly in the woods IN the mountains! Are you closer to your mother’s or father’s side of the family? Mom's. I don't even remember anyone from Dad's. Have you ever been in a “perfect relationship”? I thought so. Have you ever lost a fingernail or toenail? No. Were you a Disney or Nickelodeon kid? I preferred Disney. Have you ever been inside a jail/prison? No, and I don't plan on it. Have you ever dated a guy with a beard, mustache, or goatee? Jason had a goatee usually. He'd go clean-shaven sometimes. Did you ever name your stuffed animals? I named every single one I got as a kid. Now I don't, really, unless they're really special. What’s the name of the person who cuts your hair? I'd rather not share, given her name is very unique. Do you like cheeseburgers? Yes, they're one of my favorite foods. Do you have a Flickr? Yes, but I don't use it anymore. Did you ever want to be a fashion designer? No. Do you drink milk? Yeah, I love milk. Where was your FB display pic taken? My room. Have you ever burnt your tongue like REALLY bad? If so, what on? Yeah; white rice. My dumb ass didn't realize it had JUST come off the stove. My tongue hurt literally for weeks. Have you ever gotten your legs waxed? No. Do you own any CLOTHES from Victoria’s Secret? Er, are undergarments not clothes? But I know what you mean. No. What are your grandfathers’ names? William and... I can't remember Dad's dad's name. Have you ever seen a snake in real life? Well yeah. Are you against seances? I don't know if I believe in them being effective, but either way, they seem like a bad idea. Even risking luring a negative energy/spirit to you is something I'd stay away from. Do you own any superhero shirts? No, just Harley Quinn ones, some with the Joker on them, too. I need to toss 'em though because I am like, violently against romanticizing their abusive relationship. I used to just like them as a story character couple, but I got to a place where it just seemed... wrong to "glorify" it by wearing merch and stuff. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica, durrrr. Who is the biggest jerk you’ve ever met? Can you believe that would be my former best friend? Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never had an animal in my path. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you like kissing in public? If you're my serious s/o, I could care less, so long as it's a simple peck. I'm not making out in front of people. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I don't know. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? I don't know. I'm lonely and love feels amazing, but I need to get my life on track before I can be a good partner to someone and not just dead weight. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Huh, funny, he's the one that walked away. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Uhhh that would depend on how serious we are, where we are, and just what mood I'm in. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? ugh What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? also ugh What’s your dirtiest secret? TMI AHEAD. Probably receiving oral while bare-ass naked on the chaise in the living room while we were home alone. Or having sex in my sister’s bed. Oops. Would you ever get lyrics tattooed on yourself? Yeah. I already do, anyway, and I plan on getting another. Can you photoshop images well? I'm decent at it. Where did you last drive to? Mom and I went to go get our Covid vaccines today. What’s the first verse of the last song you listened to? "I don't know what we're supposed to be, but I know we lost it along the way to something better, something so much more than pleasure that we seek, so blind inside to fill these holes left by these lies that we tell to ourselves as we manufacture our own hell." What do you hear right now? The aforementioned song: "BLACKOUT" by 3TEETH. What was the last thing you laughed about? This is so fucking immature lmao but when we were driving earlier, we passed a gas station that had a sign that was advertising Coke, but due to space limitations, it abbreviated to "2 liter Cok" and I cackled like a child. Mom laughed harder than I did. Do you know any gay people personally? Ye. What was the last thing that startled you? I think it was a car hoonking at somebody the other day. What was the last thing to make you even remotely sad? Today's been a kind of rough PTSD day thanks to Facebook. My old high school friend had her beautiful daughter, a childhood friend just got married the other day, another friend is due to have her baby in just a couple weeks... It's just weird but even more painful to know it was the life I once fantasized about with a guy that just dropped me and made a break for it. I hate admitting that there's this deep, deep bitterness in me about it, like he took my life away from me, even though that's of course very unfair to say. I don't want to talk about this anymore, so moving on with my day.

[plotbunnyslayer]

Thoughts and prayers needed

I’ve never felt so lost and disheartened as I do right now.

My baby sister, only 20 years old, decided last week to partake in a self- betterment lifestyle.  She had been reading some of Deepak Chopra’s works and suddenly adopted a vegan lifestyle.  She also started to write in a daily journal and did meditation exercises. 

She also watches a ton of TikTok videos and idolizes David Dobrik and Madison Beer.  And she watches all these videos on improvement and making passive income and trading on the stock market.  So she idolizes these rich young influencers and strives to become one herself.

It all seemed harmless enough.  She started talking to her college finance professor and another student via zoom on the stock market and, in turn with all these social media recommendation videos, started investing.  And began to get OCD with charting out her portfolio. With colored pens and algorithms that I just did not understand, but she guaranteed would make passive income.

She started to not sleep well and it manifested into not sleeping at all for days on end.   She became manic.  Wouldn’t eat.  Would consume lots of water.

She must have watched videos on making money selling jewelry on etsy.  And that she should create an LLC and then she could hire her friends as employees and buy ipads and Apple pens through the company as a business write off.  She paid me to file the application to create her LLC.  It seemed a little out there and sudden, but she was trying to start a ‘business’ from the ground up and I admired that. 

But her friends came over on Friday for an intervention because they were concerned about her.  She texted them constantly and called them with her business ideas.  The told my mom that they were worried about her.

On Saturday, after my parents talked to a person they know who’s a psychologist, they decided to take her to the emergency room on Sunday morning.  They were afraid if they took her at night, the hospital would most definitely keep her.

Again, she didn’t sleep.  And even though my parents were taking turns watching her, she got out of the house when my mom dozed off (my sister had been asleep for about 30 minutes prior).  And was found, by chance, by the police patrolling the neighborhood.  She had been dressed in layers, but had been taking some of it off as she left the house and left a literal trail to where she was found.  She wanted the police to take her to Trump Tower of all places.

My parents had to take her to the emergency room and had to leave her there alone due to COVID restrictions.  My mother is beside herself because she can’t be there.  Her initial bloodwork showed low potassium levels.  And they were having a hard time getting them to normalize.  After over 12 hours in the ER, they transported her to another hospital for evaluation.

It’s like witnessing someone who was high on something. But given her “lifestyle” improvement kick, I doubt she would have taken anything.  And she was afraid to even vape cannabis until just a few months ago.  And she said she only did it occasionally and supposedly stopped before last week.

 My co-worker says that there are thousands of Tiktok videos that practically advertise adderall as “the pill” to a) help you lose weight, b) stay awake and be productive, c)make you successful in life... I can’t imagine that she got her hands on any drug like that.  Or that she’d do that period.  But, yeah, thinking back on the interactions I had, it was like watching someone on speed.

I just hope that they find something in her system that would have cause this, as opposed to a developing mental illness.  It’s just so bizarre.