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dnrue · 2 months

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Trigger warning for scary stuff. (Trauma, horror, murdering robots, random anecdotes) Also this is a long rant.

I have a love-hate relationship with the horror genre.

Cause on one hand, I love Invader Zim, Coraline, and 9. I guess those fall more under psycological horror?

But the moody colors, plot, character dynamics, and clear thought put into worldbuilding is so cool. I read a book with (pretty sure this is the wrong word) but melancholy theming with stars and purple tears and roses and I thought it was neat. If my obsession with my little pony and cute characters didn’t win over i’d probably be goth (is that the right grammar? Anyway)

On the other hand. I was traumatized as a kid from FNAF. I still can’t stand it today. I hate those roblox horror games. I hate that scps, creepypastas, and other scary stuff typically has no warning and is advertised to children. Just the concept of a monster with no morality or soul that will mercilessly hunt you down and kill you and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

And i can perfectly understand that a lot of people like that stuff! It’s fun to come up with stories, and I myself have tried to do horror characters (i’m not very good at it and i stopped cause it makes me remember all of the above). But it still bothers me. Years later. Like years ago I accidentally clicked on quite a few youtube videos, not really knowing the extent of how horrifying it really is, with no clarification if it’s even real, cause sometimes its hard to tell. And i still get this today! I like listening to iceberg videos because of the facts and for background noise, when all of a sudden at the bottom there’s a fact about dead puppies or something and im like .. what?? And then i think about it for weeks and I have no rest- And the horror stuff can very easily change the way you think about things and it takes you years to realize. I thought I was going to be eaten alive when I was asleep when I was loosely EIGHT. I developed a weird thing with eye contact cause I hated when my dolls were looking at me. I probably had a couple extra years of playing ahead of me that got cut short because I was scared. I went out of my way to design a line of dolls that had blindfolds. I still have the concept in my digital art folder somewhere. Every once in a while I have a weird thought or strong aversion to something random that later I realise stemmed from the whole thing. Half the time I don’t even like to bring it up and I just mention it vaguely. (It’s hard cause my bff’s little brother keeps trying to show us videos of whatever bloody monster is recommended to him) (ive been trying not to overstep but it feels like i have an oppurtunity to save baby me from the same fate when i know its not like that at all.)

And another facet to the whole thing is that I have an interest in robotics.. like I still flinch when the halloween robots at sam’s make eye contact with me. Yet I love ye olde robot entertainment restaurants for the characters and electronics and engineering, and even down to the vibe of the red curtains. How is it even possible to love something that scares you to your core?? I think i’m mostly over that part but I still wonder about it. Also the Rockafire Explosion is great and I have a headcanon that Mitzi broke the rear axle of her boyfriend’s car. Mini’s line delivery in the version of the song adds to the headcanon that she’s innocent but Mitzi is just like that (tm)

Experimentally I made a game exploring the concept of robot mascots in disrepair that DONT want to kill you but are a hazard because they’ve been abandoned. And this was in coding class in high school, where we used Alice for some reason. Anyway the game wasn’t very good but I failed in my point because litterally the five other people in the class were teasing me that it was fnaf when that was not the point.

(One person really liked my game though, and he came up with speedrunning categories like Void% [there was a fog effect] and CatsHead% because there was a glitch where if you stood behind the cat character at the right angle, the head deforms in a way that isnt possible using just code [the game engine was Alice, ther version we used was the 2004 one lol] and it crashes the game. It was kind of funny and I kept crashing the game cause I was having a hard time with the whole thing (exposure therapy I guess?) and it was the only thing that stopped my fingers from going cold. Anyway it was really cool that he liked my game even though it was glitchy and half finished)

So um I rambled a lot but my point is that the brain is a weird thing and people should not advertise horror to children. Also please be kind and give proper trigger warnings please, other than (This is scary! If youre a wimp turn back now!). Also i proofread this like ten times but im worried something bad will happen? Why brain do that?? Is this an ominous warning or because i just dont like talking about this stuff??

#trauma dump #why #horror #rant #sorry for being depressing #i like robots #but not those ones #what do you guys think?#why brain do that #triggering content #ive been trying to deal with this stuff for a long time #still bothers me a lot ..obviously #sorry about bringing down the vibe #scary stuff

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kyrodo · 5 months

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Some people take their time to get to know someone, others are fucking psychotic. I don't care if someone is being extra, head canony, or digging into themselves and trying to expose whatever their worst secrets are. I don't care if they're writing incoherent essays about me. I don't care if they can't seem to leave me alone when their time is up. I will never treat anyone the same way you treated me.

It's funny how despite the fact that I was the one spied on, I still know more about you than you know about me. I didn't earn my degree in bullying yet. Does being mad in response to bullshit count?

Humans are multi-faceted creatures, and the sides we see are the ones we deserve. You ever wanted to see the side Red and Choskey sees of me you have to earn that shit. Lying to my face every possible chance you get is a shitty way of doing that. I know how stupid it was for me to play things up every time I was about to interact with you directly, but I still didn't deserve what you put me through. It's the small things that piss you off huh? You don't like when people put their anxiety on display. Enough to find out where they sleep.

I never got to show you the real side of me without the dramaticness, but you adamantly refused to use real words in the first place. You get what you deserve.

The R who doesn't care if someone is fixing their ps4 or not. You think I wasn't ticked off that you were spamming the impatient Gengar memes not a day after I told you why we couldn't play yet? I am so fucking done with you. You're the type who only cares about results. You want everything now, it can't fucking wait. I reminded Red every single day that I wanted him to do the repair when we got home from work and getting him to do anything with his adhd is a pain. He would always go off to watch YouTube or play mobile games, do chores or go to bed day in day out weekend or not no matter how many times I pushed him. But no you don't fucking care. You always assume I'm holding out on you or some shit, because the whole world revolves around you. The fact that that is what escalated into the hacking is some of the saddest shit I've ever seen. You're so unbelievably fucking stupid.

You hacked me, you could see through my Fucking webcam, you could even hear Red, and you still had the nerve to say it was all a lie, you total fucking retard. Your capacity for denial is fucking rich. Oh look I could have bought it online and I ended up doing that, whoopdee doo. On my sister's ps4 that I never used on a personal level before it was broken and lent to me. I had an inkling it had something like the Nintendo store but I didn't know for sure. I can infer infer infer I didn't try. I didn't even look it up. I just wanted the repair done first before doing anything else with it and then things started going sour before I had the chance to. But you can't wait on shit, so much so that you'll hurt someone if they don't fucking play with you.

I had my anxieties about you, I take time to try new things. I am not a handyman, Red is the one who does all the repairs here. Red is the one who built my pc. I can only do so much to push him into doing anything, half the time we can't even go out the door to do a walk because he stalls with YouTube videos until it's too late to go out for anything. But you're the one who can't fucking wait. You, the one who can't speak a single word in straight fucking English. And the funny thing is, if you wanted context then you literally could have just fucking listened to me, because I could have sworn I went over that before you hacked me, in your dms. To you everything is a lie, even WHEN you see it in person. Dude wake the fuck up.

When will you ever fucking learn that what I have to say actually matters. I don't speak out of my fucking nose like you do. If you always have to see something I say to believe it there's no chance in hell we will ever get along. I don't know if you noticed but whether or not I'm picking out memories that are relevant to you, I seem to be pretty fucking consistent as far as what I say, even when I am defensive. But you had to go that far to figure it out huh? I don't live in a world surrounded by lies, because that's not my fucking territory. I ain't touching yours. I resorted to poetry in response to your subtext, because then I can exaggerate or make metaphorical references to things instead of taking a huge dump on the English language just to say you're going to 7 11 or some shit. I don't know why I ever took interest in you. I don't know why I got obsessed with you, but I guess I'd have to be pretty fucking desperate.

You want excessive discreetness, you found the wrong guy. I questioned it a lot, and that's why I kept making those passive aggressive stabs in the dark cause, i was confused. It doesn't make any fucking sense. There is no reason to go that far to cover up everything we say if we're just trying to be friends. And in respect to Red, you think meeting him or getting to know each other is not important for a poly? What the actual fuck were you even going for? That's why I likened you to a cult or satanist etc cause it honestly felt like a hazing. It felt like I was going through some kind of test for something I just happened to be doing the procedure for by accident. Because it didn't make sense to constantly cover every last thing we say like a coded message.

Everything was so extra and pointless I honestly wondered what I was getting into.

Why is it that people can just reply to you on Twitter with no strings attached like it's an everyday thing, and I can't? That was constantly on my mind and it pissed me off. You make it such a hassle to say anything straight up without suddenly getting upset at me and lying to me that I have to pretend like I'm meeting you for the first time. And nobody else has to do that, so why did I? In an ideal world we would have just hopped on discord in a voice call and it would have solved fucking everything, but seeing as all this shit happened, mission fail.

The funny thing is, if you simply didn't play stupid games with people you would have gotten along with me just fine. Did you ever stop to think about that? If you wanted to put me in my place cause I was overly eager emotionally, you still could have done that in a setting that isn't fucking stupid. Once you saw things in context, how massive was the revelation that you don't know how to fucking trust people worth shit.

And your blatant denial instinct is such a fucking dick to work with that I seriously wish you were anyone else. Dude I just can't. Accountability, what's that? I make it look so fucking easy don't I, so why can't you? Why do you constantly feel like you have to cover up every fucking thing you say. Why do you always avoid strict wording, why do you always magnetize towards double meanings and avoiding saying what we mean. Be vague, be open ended, be intangible at all times 24/7. It could be for you, it could be for someone else. The I mights and maybes and perhaps. I am so fucking done with you. Leaving you behind was the biggest breath of fresh air I ever had.

The world beneath my feet stopped being a sheet of thin ice made of possible outcomes and meanings that I could have gotten wrong. And I am fucking thriving. It's like having 20/20 vision. I am not only welcome in this present world but I know for sure that I am welcome. And had I gone with you instead, you would have been more than happy to leave me on continuous hold. To leave me doubting you and doubting myself. You are the very embodiment of everything you shouldn't do when you meet someone, and I thought I was bad. Imagine being someone who makes people feel good about themselves instead of leaving them with constant confusion and anxiety while simultaneously disbelieving every word anyone other than you says. You sap the very life and happiness out of people, why the fuck would I want to be with someone like you.

Being ambiguous with me is no longer acceptable. Someone is either straight with me or they are fucking gone. At least you taught me how to avoid bullshit. If I can't read on the lines with someone they are fucking gone. I am done having two conversations with the same person, especially when both conversations turn out to be fake. The moment someone tests me they've already failed mine. I am not a test subject. You either trust me or you don't and I'm not going to stick around if you can't figure it out. I am never going to deal with trash like you again. If someone can't treat me as an equal then I don't have to treat them at all.

I've proved myself on so many fucking levels now, but I am never going to subject myself to that again. I actually give a fuck about myself now and that shit doesn't fly around me.

Your are such a horrible person I can hardly believe you're even fucking real. You thought I'd be easy to shit on cause of some of the shit I used to say out loud about myself? You thought Red wasn't even a real boyfriend. You were so fucking wrong. You tried to take advantage of my depression, you are literally the worst person on the Fucking planet and I can't do shit to save you. I don't think I need your help anymore. I find it difficult to immerse myself when there is so much fucking bullshit.

All the wrong calls, all the wrong moves, all the wrong assumptions judgments and words, every fucking thing you can do wrong, you're always there. Get the fuck out of my life. Even when everything is laid bare I still play you like a fucking violin. Even when you try to use a gameshark you still lose, and it's fucking hilarious. There just isn't a single battlefield with me where you win is there? All the way down to just being a decent fucking person. You done trying to find something big to write me off for yet?

You get what you pay for bitch. Clearly I wasn't above saying things like "you owe me" or trying to get another commission/get approval from your friends to win you over, but I'm not the same bitch I was where you left me. The shit I do I can at least fucking adjust. You on the other hand, your entire personality needs a rework.

I will never be able to overstate the difference between you and me. Me looking at some shitty artwork in my downtime is the least of your concerns. The best you got for me is that I'm sus, then stay out of my fucking house.

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sparrowwright · 11 months

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The Passion Principle: How Loving Your Job Can Backfire

Have you ever been super excited about working on a new project? Maybe it’s a piece of woodworking, or a drawing, or a song you’re writing, or whatever other hobbies you just love to do. But whatever it is, you just can’t wait to get home and start working on it again. You have a feeling that this is really going to be something great. It’s not just the final product that keeps you hooked, though: the process itself is satisfying too. Doing something you love is fulfilling in a multitude of different ways. As you’re happily chipping away at that amazing project, you think to yourself, wouldn’t it be wonderful if I just did this for a living?

Many people have thought that exact same thing. In fact, passion-led careers are often the most sought-after. According to The Atlantic article Loving Your Job is a Capitalist Trap, over 75% of college-educated workers say that passion is an important part of finding a career that suits them, and 16% say that they would rather have meaningful work than a high-paying or stable job, or a healthy work/life balance (Cech). When it comes to career advice, it is always seen as a positive to go for a career that you have some passion for. Everybody, it seems, wants a job that is rewarding outside of just a paycheck.

In this essay, we will go over (1) what it means to have a rewarding job, and what it means to be “passionate”; (2) what happens when businesses try to capitalize on passion, including a history of “crunch culture” in video games; and (3) some common justifications used for these actions, and why employees endure these conditions.

Many people want to work jobs that have meaning or are fulfilling or rewarding. But what is a rewarding job? Rewarding jobs are jobs that one enjoys doing; these can be creative, transformative, relaxing, or challenging. Whatever the case may be, the main component of a “rewarding” job is that the worker is passionate about working. Maybe you’re an artist, or a music producer, or a videogame level-designer. You might sometimes go above and beyond when you become really invested in a project in ways that, say, a bank teller just wouldn’t. When a labor of necessity becomes a labor of love, you’ll stretch yourself out trying to achieve your goal.

This is quite common for an artist to experience. An artist might neglect all other facets of life, like food, sleep, or socializing if they are extremely focused on completing a project that they are passionate about. Disrupting an artist’s focus can throw off their “groove,” as one might say, and it can be difficult to get back on track. I know that whenever I’m extremely focused on finishing a drawing, I can be sitting at my desk for hours getting all the details right and not even realize that time has passed. There is nothing inherently wrong with putting more hours into a project that you like working on.

When passion meets paycheck, however, several ethical issues can arise. First, is it ethical for companies to profit off of workers’ extra, uncompensated labor just because of their passion? It’s been observed that many companies will specifically seek out passionate employees just because they are more likely to do additional unpaid labor (Cech). Companies do this because workers who enjoy their labor are more likely to work faster, more efficiently, or extra hours, even when they are not being paid. This is great for companies, because they get work done at a higher quality, faster, and at less cost. However, it can lead to passionate employees being uncompensated for a lot of their work.

Another problem arises when an employee is expected to work those unpaid hours outside of their own volition. That above-and-beyond approach fueled by pure excitement is then treated as a new standard. When the average employee is expected to work just as fervidly as the most passionate worker, it can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and numerous negative effects to mental health.

In the video games industry, depending on the studio, it’s not at all uncommon to see employees work for 70- to even 100-hour workweeks (Gilbert). Co-workers will even work extra hours alongside overworked colleagues in solidarity (Shreier). Extraordinarily long workweeks, though it puts undo pressure and stress onto the employees who have to scramble and stretch themselves thin to get their work done on time, are just part of the culture of some studios.

This phenomenon is so common that it actually has a name: “Crunch.” Crunch is when a game studio makes its employees work extreme and unethical hours to meet a deadline, oftentimes just to set another deadline as soon as the first one is finished. This destructive cycle will repeat until the game is released. Many studios are guilty of engaging in crunch culture; but a notable selection, and some of the most widely known, are Telltale Games, Rockstar Games, Electronic Arts (often abbreviated to EA), and even Cary, North Carolina’s own local game publisher: Epic Games.

In November of 2004, an essay was posted on Live Journal called “EA: The Human Story,” by a user, Erin Hoffman, known at the time as “ea_spouse.” The post detailed the harsh and unethical work environment that EA forced upon its workforce during the development of Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle Earth (Gameqol). At the same time, employees filed a class-action lawsuit against EA for similar business practices. The lawsuit was successful, and the graphic designers received a $15 million settlement while the programmers received $14 million.

Many other whistleblowers have followed in ea_spouse’s footsteps: for example, an anonymous employee of a different videogame developer, Rockstar Games, calling themselves “Rockstar Spouse,” posted a letter to Gamasutra Blogs in 2004 detailing similar workplace abuses at Rockstar Games (Gameqol). It’s safe to say that the open letter and subsequent successful lawsuit sent ripples through the games industry and continues to reverberate today. However, though the issue of worker’s rights in and outside of the games industry has been ever-present and increasingly more pressing, little has changed over those 15 years (Lefebvre, “EA”). Workers are still rarely paid overtime, and crunch culture has not slowed down a bit.

A more recent and massively popular game is Fortnite, an online multiplayer first-person shooter developed by Epic Games Studio that first launched in 2011. Many people find this game absurdly fun, but its creation came at a great cost. One Epic Games employee told Polygon, “I work an average 70 hours a week, there’s probably at least 50 or even 100 other people at Epic working those hours. I know people who pull 100-hour weeks" (Gilbert). Another employee said, “I hardly sleep. I'm grumpy at home. I have no energy to go out. Getting a weekend away from work is a major achievement."

Grueling labor has more than a mental effect on workers. Physical symptoms can arise from overworking as well. Game designer Clint Hocking reported memory loss as a result of crunching on a game. Brett Douville, a respected veteran of game development, described being temporarily unable to step out of his car after working on a game too hard (Schreier).

Similar reports came out of Rockstar Games where they were caught actively bragging about their crunch period when working on Red Dead Redemption 2. Responding to backlash on Twitter for boasting about their 100-hour work weeks, Rockstar Studios asserted that nobody at Rockstar was being “forced” to work those hours, but that they simply put in “additional effort” as a “choice” (Lefebvre, “Rockstar”). “We have some senior people who work very hard purely because they’re passionate about a project, or their particular work, and we believe that passion shows in the games we release. But that additional effort is a choice, and we don’t ask or expect anyone to work anything like this” (Lefebvre, “Rockstar”).

This is a great example of what is called “the passion principle.” The passion principle is defined by Erin A. Cech as “the prioritization of fulfilling work even at the expense of job security or a decent salary.” The passion principle is something many companies that oversee creative or fulfilling jobs seek out in workers. Though not as obviously morally wrong as practices like overseas child slave labor, passion exploitation is still a form of exploitation that often escapes our attention (Kim, 3). Writing in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Jae Yun Kim uses the term “passion exploitation” to refer to a means of justifying exploitation of workers on the excuse that the workers are just naturally passionate about the subject and are glad to do the uncompensated work of their own choice, even if it is demanding or outside of the job description (Kim, 6). Kim further defines the term as “maltreatment of workers that uses attributions and assumptions of passion as a justifying tool” (Kim, 5).

There have been studies on the passion principle that show how effective it can be. In the essay “Love Your Job? Someone May be Taking Advantage of You,” Aaron Kay found that participants who were given a situation where a worker was being exploited by their boss were more likely to say that the exploitation was justified if the worker was more passionate about their job rather than less passionate. This exploitation included being asked to do work that was not in the job description, such as leaving a day with family at the park to clean the office bathroom (Kay).

But why would someone being passionate about a job they’re doing lead to employers thinking it was okay to exploit those people for additional or excessive labor? Do they really think what they’re doing is justified? There are two cornerstones to the justification of passion exploitation: first, the belief that, to the enthused employee, work is its own reward; and second, the belief that the worker would have volunteered to do the labor anyways, just out of sheer enjoyment (Kim, 10).

The belief that work is its own reward is widely held. In South Korea, some workers use the term “passion wages” to cheekily refer to the expectation that they should work for little to no pay because it is presumed that the work itself is its own reward (Kim, 5). Likewise, it has been proven via study that there is a correlation between a job’s perceived passion and people’s belief in the legitimacy of its exploitation on the basis that the worker would have volunteered for the work regardless (Kim, 20).

But a counterargument to the passion exploitation theory is that, while sometimes employees put in extra hours on their work, and sometimes employers benefit from this free labor, if it really is the employee’s choice, then what does it matter? Wouldn’t forcing an artist away from the work that they’re passionate about be counterproductive and borderline cruel? That would be a good argument if employees truly did choose to work overtime. But, in most cases, this is not exactly true. If an employer asks an employee to do a menial task that is outside of the job description, like cleaning an office bathroom, it can look like the employee has a free choice in the matter and can decline if they so choose. But, to the trained eye, the power dynamic is obvious: an employer has a substantial amount of power over an employee, like controlling their job security and promotions. It is likely that an employee may not feel entirely safe saying “no” to an employer for fear of some sort of repercussions (Kim, 7). Going back to the videogames industry, crunch culture happens when people “crunch” to meet a deadline. If that deadline is not met, it will result in dire consequences. People may lose their jobs, their livelihoods, or they may be demoted. This does not give the employees a meaningful choice about whether or not they want to crunch.

To conclude, people often prioritize fulfilling or enjoyable work over high-paying, stable, or less demanding jobs. Companies will seek these people out, because they can be coerced to provide free labor if they are passionate about their jobs. Some companies will hire passionate employees and then work them arduous and unethical hours on the excuse that they should be loving it, since they love this line of work. Employers justify their actions by saying that the work is its own reward, and that the employees would have volunteered for this work anyway if they had the chance. Employees often endure this treatment because of intimidation inherent in the power dynamics of the workplace. Employees need protection in the form of effective workplace regulation to avoid falling victim to their own “passion”.

Works Cited

Cech, Erin A. “Loving Your Job Is a Capitalist Trap.” The Atlantic, 12 Nov. 2021, www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2021/11/danger-really-loving-your-job/620690/.

“EA Spouse.” GameQoL, www.gameqol.org/ea-spouse/. Accessed 4 Oct. 2022.

Gilbert, Ben. “Video Game Industry ‘Crunch Culture’ Explained: Epic, Rockstar, EA.” Business Insider, 9 May 2019, www.businessinsider.com/video-game-development-problems-crunch-culture-ea-rockstar-epic-explained-2019-5#a-trio-of-recent-blockbusters-red-dead-redemption-2-anthem-and-fortnite-are-the-subjects-of-major-investigations-detailing-the-messy-work-of-creating-blockbuster-games-4.

Kay, Aaron. “Love Your Job? Someone May Be Taking Advantage of You.” www.fuqua.duke.edu, 24 Apr. 2019, www.fuqua.duke.edu/duke-fuqua-insights/kay-passion-exploitation.

Kim, Jae Yun et al. “Understanding Contemporary Forms of Exploitation: Attributions of Passion Serve to Legitimize the Poor Treatment of Workers.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, vol. 118,1 (2020): 121-148. doi:10.1037/pspi0000190.

Lefebvre, Eliot. “EA Spouse Was 15 Years Ago, and Not Much Has Changed in Games Development.” Massively Overpowered, 11 Nov. 2019, massivelyop.com/2019/11/11/ea-spouse-was-15-years-ago-and-not-much-has-really-changed-in-development/.

Lefebvre, Eliot. “Rockstar Boasts of 100-Hour Work Weeks on Red Dead Redemption 2.” Massively Overpowered, 15 Aug. 2018, massivelyop.com/2018/10/15/rockstar-boasts-of-100-hour-work-weeks-on-red-dead-redemption-2/.

Schreier, Jason. “Opinion | Video Games Are Destroying the People Who Make Them.” The New York Times, 25 Oct. 2017, www.nytimes.com/2017/10/25/opinion/work-culture-video-games-crunch.html?searchResultPosition=5.

#essay

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dailyrugbytoday · 2 years

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Six Nations 2023: Wales lock Alun Wyn Jones fit for Scotland Test

New Post has been published on https://thedailyrugby.com/six-nations-wales-lock-alun-jones-fit-sco-test/

The Daily Rugby

https://thedailyrugby.com/six-nations-wales-lock-alun-jones-fit-sco-test/

Six Nations 2023: Wales lock Alun Wyn Jones fit for Scotland Test

Veteran lock Alun Wyn Jones will be available for selection for “Wales Six Nations” clash with Scotland at Murrayfield on Saturday.

Head teach Warren Gatland to start with dominated the most capped Test player of all day trip of the assembly after Jones took a head knock towards Ireland, however he has now been cleared to stand the Scots.

Jones left the pitch for a head harm evaluation at some stage in Wales’ 34-10 domestic defeat against Ireland on Saturday. The lock couldn’t re-join the movement after producing an bizarre end result for his HIA1 check, but next – and extra specified – HIA2 and HIA3 checks came back everyday.

He additionally did no longer show any signs or symptoms of concussion, with a neck harm recognized, even though not one to sideline him this weekend.

This way that Jones can be available for selection to Warren Gatland, even as it is also understood that Wales’ clinical team were in touch with the Six Nations and World Rugby to keep them throughout the state of affairs.

Further interrogation of video pictures and an interview with the former Lions captain changed into done, and it’s been showed that he did now not go through a concussion.

Six Nations The threat of Duhan van der Merwe

After scoring crucial attempts inside the win over England, Duhan van der Merwe might be the focus of a number of evaluation this week for Wales Six Nations.

Forshaw acknowledged the chance that the effective winger own but also critiqued England’s kicking strategies with Van der Merwe, Stuart Hogg and Finn Russell within the Scotland backline.

If you are going long and strong together with your kicking game, you have to be robust defensively because he is coming at you with some velocity,” he stated.

Meanwhile, defence train Mike Forshaw bemoaned Wales unwell-discipline against Ireland after his aspect conceded nine consequences in the starting zone of the healthy.

Nine penalties inside the first 20 minutes fee us discipline function in opposition to an amazing aspect,” Forshaw said. You can’t provide away that number of penalties at this level, defending 5-metre lineouts against Ireland, who we know are a superb facet.

I simply examine Scottish rugby in the meanwhile. I don’t think Glasgow have lost considering that November, and Edinburgh beat Saracens in Europe. Then they visit England and beat England.

I suppose they are a set that are honestly on a excessive and have some good coaches. I’ve watched maximum in their video games, and I concept they were exquisite at the weekend. They pose a large hazard.

Forshaw brought that Wales should start better in their second Six Nations fit towards Scotland.

We need to begin better than we did last week, that’s the first issue on my brain,” he said. “We have to get into the game early without being beneath the pump with discipline, and there has been a piece of a focal point on that.

He scored a wonder strive on the weekend, possibly one of the first-class tries I even have ever visible.

(Stuart) Hogg can hurt you. Then you have Finn Russell, who will attempt things off the cuff. I even have had revel in of that coaching towards Racing 92 (Russell’s membership crew) over the previous few years.

We should convey them to the combat a bit greater and now not give them lengthy and strong possibilities.

The England strategies of going lengthy had been in All Blacks now not splendid, however having stated that, there may be a piece of X-thing in that (Scotland) back-3.

He (Van der Merwe) is a bloke who can hurt you. I actually have visible him at Worcester in previous seasons, and he has produced something out of not anything and left a path of destruction.

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irvinenewshq · 2 years

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Foolish for Bulls to anticipate leniency as Jake paints them as underdogs

The Bulls know it could be silly to anticipate any leniency from Munster, because the well-known Irish membership tries to get their season going, of their United Rugby Championship conflict at Thomond Park on Saturday night time, with coach Jake White nearly portray his facet as underdogs. Primarily based simply on the URC log, then the Bulls would clearly be thought-about as favourites, sitting properly in fifth place after only one loss in 4 matches, in comparison with Munster languishing in 12th spot after only one win in 4 fixtures. However White says there may be far an excessive amount of high quality and historical past behind this Munster line-up for them to be taken evenly. Additionally learn: Bulls stay cautious of Munster, regardless of poor begin to URC marketing campaign “Everybody in Eire has been reminding us how powerful it’s to play at Thomond Park, from breakfast to meal time. We’re getting the entire vibe and hopefully that can assist us be certain that we’re prepared. “We performed poorly final weekend, I’ll be the primary to confess, and Munster are a great group, they’ve huge Take a look at expertise of their group. I’m certain they are going to get themselves up as a result of they’re such an enormous membership. Additionally learn: Bulls on the again foot & thumped 35-21 by Glasgow “They’re just like the Liverpool, Man United or Barcelona of rugby as a result of they’ve gained European cups; they’re one of many greatest golf equipment on the earth. We’re below no illusions that will probably be simple. “We misplaced one recreation and we had been rightly hammered as being poor on the night time, they’ve misplaced three video games, so think about how they’re feeling. I’m certain they’re disillusioned with the place they’re in the mean time,” White stated. Cheap probability Nonetheless, the Bulls will need to have an inexpensive probability of repeating their 29-24 win over Munster at Loftus Versfeld final season, particularly with Johan Goosen, Embrose Papier, Harold Vorster and Wandisile Simelane returning to a star-studded backline, and loads of physicality up entrance. “After a loss like ours in opposition to Glasgow, the gamers are inclined to rally round and are extra targeted anyway,” White stated. “We had a great coaching week and we all know it’s an enormous recreation. ‘I believe we might have some actually good mixtures with Johan and Embrose each Springboks making an attempt to get again there, and Harold and Lionel Mapoe having performed three Tremendous Rugby finals collectively.” Bulls: Kurt-lee Arendse, Cornel Hendricks, Lionel Mapoe, Harold Vorster, Wandisile Simelane, Johan Goosen, Embrose Papier, Elrigh Louw, WJ Steenkamp, Marcell Coetzee (CAPT), Ruan Nortje, Walt Steenkamp, Mornay Smith, Jan-Hendrik Wessels, Simphiwe Matanzima. Bench – Bismarck du Plessis, Dylan Smith, Jacques van Rooyen, Ruan Vermaak, Marco van Staden, Zak Burger, Chris Smith, David Kriel. Originally published at Irvine News HQ

#Irvine News HQ

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sacramentonewsjournal · 2 years

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Diogo Jota discusses Liverpools Premier League title hopes and weighs in on Darwin Nunezs begin to life on Merseyside

Diogo Jota has admitted that successful the Premier League this season ‘doesn’t appear viable’ however insists there’s nonetheless an extended solution to go within the marketing campaign. The Liverpool star returned from harm just lately and offered an help in Sunday’s disappointing defeat to Arsenal – a end result that left the Anfield outfit 14 factors behind the Gunners who occupy high spot. Though Jurgen Klopp’s facet are nowhere close to the place they wish to be in the mean time, the previous Wolves man is remaining upbeat. “Effectively, it is vitally onerous to say,” the Portugal worldwide stated (by way of Liverpoolfc.com). “Clearly final season we had, not an analogous state of affairs, however we had been far behind as effectively. “There are nonetheless quite a lot of video games to play. In the intervening time it doesn’t appear viable however we by no means know and clearly tomorrow it’s a completely different competitors. We’re in an excellent place and tomorrow we are able to make that place even higher, in order that’s what we would like.” READ MORE: Ex-Crimson weighs in on Klopp’s current tactical tweak and names the one man who ‘has to play towards Metropolis’ Within the Champions League thinks are barely higher for the Merseysiders. Following the embarrassing 4-1 defeat to Napoli on match day one, the Reds have defeated each Ajax and Rangers and are sat second in Group A. Sunday’s loss to Arsenal noticed Trent Alexander-Arnold, Joel Matip and Luis Diaz maintain accidents which is able to rule them out of tomorrow’s conflict with Rangers and past. Within the absence of the latter, our No. 20 mentioned whether or not he can impress on the left wing within the coming weeks. “Effectively, I’m able to play there – and to play whichever place the supervisor feels I’m necessary to the crew,” he added. “And like at all times, as a striker, as a winger, as a No.10, I might be on it with my 100 per cent finest as a result of that’s the best way I’m. So whether it is required for me to play completely different positions that’s what I’ll do.” One of many only a few positives that got here from our journey to the Emirates, nonetheless, was seeing Darwin Nunez’s identify again on the scoresheet. Our No. 27 netted his third aim since arriving from Benfica and regarded energetic towards Mikel Arteta’s facet. The Uruguayan has struggled since arriving on Merseyside however Jota is hopeful that the striker will impress towards the Glasgow-based outfit tomorrow. “Effectively, I feel like in life generally you recover from issues,” he continued. “Clearly he began very well and folks had been beginning to suppose his adaptation was by no means an issue however possibly it required a number of extra video games to get used to that degree that he confirmed us and he confirmed everybody final 12 months. “And with this run of video games he’s having, he has already scored and I feel he’s discovering himself in a greater place and folks within the squad are understanding his recreation higher. So it’s good for everybody and tomorrow might be extra proof of that, I hope.” Unique: Liverpool preserving a detailed eye on 4 Galatasaray skills as European scouts flock to Istanbul Originally published at Sacramento News Journal

#Sacramento News Journal

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sheepalmighty · 2 years

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I've been thinking about the context of the music in Disco Elysium and how a portion of it seems kind of diegetic. Like, you have the Whirling-in-Rags music playing diegetically and if you go to the harbour parts of it still linger among the industrial ambience. One way I see it is that part of the music is sticking around in Harry's mind like the catchy tune it is, making it another application of diegetic music in the game (music's important to Harry it wouldn't be a stretch to say).

So, like, specifically I was thinking about the track Live With Me, and how it plays when you have to inform Billie of the news (and another time I think) and how the piano only seems to have been made to evoke a dour atmosphere. But then, like the rest of the threads in the narrative and gameplay which culminate at or near the end, Harry puts on SadFM, obviously a station he's as familiar with as Kim is to SpeedFM, on the boat ride and that same piano kicks in near the end of the song with some hopeful yet bittersweet lyrics. And it makes the usage of Live With Me have more meaning within the narrative and helps add another facet to Harry.

I can imagine he has that song in his head during those emotionally tough times. It's a poignant part of the song that can't help but be evoked as it seems so familiar to him. The track now has this extra layer of hoping/wishing for better, especially when you could consider it an active choice on Harry's part to "play" in this moment. It possibly also links to that A New World artwork referenced earlier in the game and which seems important to Harry (I'm a little fuzzy on the details).

Overall, it seems like another intentional choice to portray a softer aspect of Harry, and just goes to show the care and attention the devs and artists put into the placement and meaning of the music throughout the game.

#is music in the mindspace of the player character diegetic? am i using that too liberally? dunno #video games can have that extra facet i think #and i think it's neat #disco elysium spoilers #sorry if i made some mistakes with the references ive played through it once a month ago but its such a good game i think about it a lot

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edwinas · 3 years

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I saw a post questioning how fulfilled Devi would be in a relationship with Paxton vs a relationship with Ben where he's more suitable for her. What do you think? Do you think Devi and Paxton are 'too different' to work?

Thanks for sending this!

I totally disagree. I’m gonna assume by “more suitable” they mean they have similar aspirations, personalities and interests. Daxton have a different dynamic and I’d argue a better foundation for a meaningful relationship.

a) Honesty and trust

Daxton opened up to each other in way they haven’t to others (Mohan’s passing, Paxton’s past and aspirations etc) and hold each other and themselves accountable. They own up to their mistakes, apologise and strive to do better. Their relationship has always been about growth. It started with Devi propositioning Paxton as a distraction from her grief. Throughout the show, Devi’s desperate for a boyfriend, even if it means settling because she’s insecure about being unloveable (“unfuckable”) so she gets what “she deserves.” But in the S2 finale Devi’s honest about her wants and they don’t align with Paxton’s so they break up. She’s maturing and putting herself first, even if it means letting go of a boy she’s had a crush on forever. Paxton processes his emotions and concludes that she’s worth a hypothetical heartbreak. So he chases after her because she’s the only girl he wants.

Them getting together was possible because they’re able to forgive themselves and each other. Daxton don’t hold grudges and grow together. They share similar qualities and values which trumps academic excellence.

b) Romance & friendship

Daxton fancy each other and are willing to take risks and put in the extra effort. They enjoy each other’s company, including how different their personalities are. Devi’s a certified hothead who punches first and asks questions later. She wears her heart on her sleeve and is super endearing. Paxton’s more relaxed but seems to be the brooding type. He has a big heart and is an introvert, bottles up his emotions and ignores people when hurt. He’s charmed by Devi who’s nothing like his existing entourage and he gravitates towards that. She’s bigger than life, silly, smart, caring etc! They’ve both made mistakes but not with the intent of hurting the other and they forgive each other. The duality of Paxton and Devi makes for a relationship that’s strife with novelty and excitement. Who wants to date their carbon-copy? Where’s the variety? The richness?

c) Motivation & support

An obvious example is Devi motivating Paxton to go the extra mile. They push themselves out of their comfort zone by being held accountable and bettering themselves (see a).

They’re not in competition because of different social circles/interests/temperaments which results in there being less friction. You’re not trying to one-up each other (even unknowingly) which makes for a healthier partnership. There’s no constant push-and-pull which gets exhausting fast and someone doesn’t always have to compromise. Devi put her foot down in the finale because she and Paxton had opposite expectations but I feel like with “smaller” differences, she’d be more inclined to give in. She talked about Brown women having to sacrifice more and I see Devi giving in, but not because of that. She’s a loud vibrant kid, the antithesis of traditionally demure Tamil girls. But she had her self-esteem eroded for years at school hence why she desperately wanted any boy to like her. So I’m happy she’s with someone who unconditionally supports of her and cherishes all facets of her. She doesn’t have to cut herself down or act softer to be loved.

d) Having fun

Not to negate what I’ve just said but they’re kids in their first relationship. Let them explore that and enjoy themselves without there being a transformative aspect to it! They have fun together – played video games, candy wrapper talks, banter, make-out sessions etc. They can share their existing hobbies or find new ones together. Even if they don’t share similar hobbies, they’ll listen to the other gush about their interests because they love to see them happy.

In conclusion, saying a boy is more suitable because of similar interests and personalities is quite ignorant. Daxton click together and enjoy each other’s company. They better themselves and enrich each other’s lives through their differences. Paxton is more than suitable for Devi, even when S2 made him OOC.

#never have I ever #never have i ever netflix #devi vishwakumar #paxton hall yoshida #devi x paxton #daxton #my thoughts on nhie

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ready-to-obeyme · 4 years

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[OM!] Reverse AU: Demon Brothers (+ Diavolo) Headcanons

- original idea came from this lovely post so please check it out if you haven’t already bc it’s so cute!! I couldn’t stop thinking about the boys collecting our character cards and desperately trying to complete events and chapters just as we are afjasldkfjasfjdts

Scenario: We’re the characters in the game and the demon brothers (or would they be human in this au??) play Obey Me! and collect our cards, play the events, etc...

Reverse AU: Demon boys collect cards of YOU instead of the other way around

Ranked from most invested to least invested in the game + headcanons on how they play (while stanning you ofc)

EDITED: there is also a related follow-up post of Reverse AU [here]

Leviathan

VIP VIP VIP

the man would die for every UR+

stans you so hard; cries whenever any new card of you comes out

a collectionist at heart, but he knows there's a fave in his otaku heart of his

every event holds a special place in his kokoro

Idk how he gets sleep grinding for all your URs considering how fast the events come and go without breaks in-between

If he had a terrible sleeping habit before, it’s WORSE now

honestly, this game right up his alley so he's an expert-- he's probably the one to rant about the game and convince his brothers to start playing too

"Add me so we can give each other AP!!"

he says, but he spends a lot of money to get all he needs so he doesn't really NEED his brothers to play with him

very happy when he gets to rant about the game with his brothers

Casually plays OSTs from the game, sometimes on blast and his brothers don’t even bat an eye because they all play the game hehehehe

cheers when he gets you as a surprise guest; uses wikis to make sure he does you right (he once made a wrong move and your dissent dialogue crushed his heart-- so never again)

never ranks below 100 during events

Mammon

baby tries really hard to save up for a good event card or UR+ but always ends up pulling desperately for your cards

relies on his luck to get what he wants, and when that doesn't work out, ends up putting money into the game

probably prays before each 10x pull and free draw

he's not rich enough to win aaaaaaaaa

fell in love with your character almost immediately and has not looked back since

you are Best Character; probably fights with Levi about who loves you more

gets pumped when he sees your cards; the other character are ehhh even though that's probably not the most strategic way to play

doesn't understand why he can't just have three of you on the dance team all at once

Screams whenever he loses a dance battle (“I’m so sorry!!!!!!’ he tells you as he quickly levels you up and throws a ton of glowsticks at you)

suffers when his brothers get the cards he wants-- though tbf he also brags about pulls he gets that his brothers didn't

when did this game become a competition?

Satan

f2p but he works really hard to get the cards he wants

diligently saves up and spends all his pulls on a UR+ card he absolutely MUST have

collects all the wallpapers, dialogue, and chats of every card he has of you

stares longingly at the URs and has to resist the very real urge to just buy stuff

invested in the story, the characters, the nuances, and the LORE

thinks of theories and ideas on how the world works and the facets of each character

probably write on blogs and posts fanfic

...his bros don't know about that part tho so shhhh

The animal event really grabbed him by the DICK

If there is a card of you with cat ears and a tail-- hhhhhhhh

Spends ALL his draws during this event and invests all his time and effort into unlocking the devils flower and regrets NOTHING (o´ω｀o)

Lucifer

tries to not get invested

then gets invested deeply in both the storyline and the characters that he completes all the levels asap and grinds everyday to fill out the devil flowers

Takes break between work by opening the game

Refreshed with you on the home screen

Feels like dying when Diavolo catches him SLIPPIN’ peers over his shoulder and asks him what game he’s playing

Also feels like dying when Barbatos catches him humming the opening screen song

tries really hard not to buy anything and he succeeds for quite some time but alas came the hydrangeas

he started off by buying some devil (human?) points… and it escalated

slippery slope-- recharge missions took him by the neck and then he gave in to being VIP (might as well, since he can afford it…)

outwardly calm about playing the game, enjoys talking with Satan about the possible lore and having something to bond with Levi

inwardly pretty invested: adores the interactions, remembers what options are best for each surprise guest dialogue

Asmodeus

posts about all his Good pulls, especially when he gets the new UR+/UR cards

the type to unlock all the devil flowers for the flex but also for the aesthetic

scrolls through devilgram (uhh human...gram? so instagram) and unlocks every story asap

thinks the game is adorable whenever he gets to interact with you as a surprise guest

probably doesn't have a high preference for any particular card but absolutely LOVES the pretty ones

love love LOVES the fan art that people draw of you

Hums to the opening screen song in the shower or even the opening video (that he voices hahah)

gets frustrated when the levels get hard and he has to grind but so far hasnt given into buying anything

Not as invested as his brothers but he does spend money just to get a REALLY nice UR+ card like the rain event

Water does wonders for aesthetics（=＾0＾=）

Belphegor

the game is too fast-- so many events for him to care about that he sometimes drops off the face of the earth to play it or drops the game and takes a break from it for a while

there is no in between with this dude

he can only invest in the game when he feels like it, if he feels somewhat motivated

thinks the dance battles are funny

slightly upset when he doesn't get the cards he want from gacha but it's too bothered by it

has like at least one UR of you from an event that he didn't expect to get and that's good enough for him

the bed head cards got him feeling some type of way ////

had notifications for his AP during that period of time; has never grinded harder

Beelzebub

what can i say? the man gets lucky from free pulls all the damn time

least invested, but does enjoy reading the story and the characters; just gets kind of lazy when he gets stuck on levels

does his best to level up enough to continue the story and unlock your gram stories but has a hard time grinding to unlock devil flowers

which is understandable considering the amount of URs he has

i could probably see his brothers fight each other to get his account when he thinks about giving it away

plays more often during events because he likes the extra interactions from the game with you

Bonus:

Diavolo

Lowkey does not know how to play for a while but does log into the game just to make sure he gets his free pulls

His knowledge of the games grows EXPONENTIALLY and by the end of the first week

he’a asking Lucifer to add him, what cards he has, should he invest in this event or not

Lucifer isn’t sure if he’s happy with this development or not

Definitely has Barbatos join in on the fun too :333

Barbatos somehow ends up being as equally invested as Levi but the only way any of them can tell is because he revealed himself to be top 10 at one event

Adores every UR card of you and asks Lucifer if he should just sign up and be VIP

Does get extremely lucky at times

“Lucifer, what’s the difference between a UR+ and a UR? Huh, why? Well, this card I got has a UR+ on it--”

Ranks probably above Asmodeus and below Lucifer in terms of how invested he is into the game

#obey me!#obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me satan #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus #reverse au #hahah #shall we date? obey me!#obey me reverse au

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

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i noticed that you like to write a lot of heartrender husbands from fedyor’s side of things (which makes sense cause fedyor is fun!) but i have to ask in the modern au, what was ivan thinking the whole first two months 😂??

like was he carrying the joke the whole time? did his brain short circuit around fedyor?? was he worried about what fedyor was thinking or did he just think he was shy? Did he think the first date went well ☠️?

This was supposed to be lighthearted, but then there came Feels. So here is Ivan's backstory in Phantomverse. Content warning for mentions of an abusive relationship, familial homophobia, implied sexual manipulation, and dark themes. Nothing graphic, but duly noted.

Also on AO3.

Brighton Beach, 2015

It’s safe to say that Ivan Ivanovich Sakharov Kaminsky did not ever, not in a thousand years, not in a million, imagine himself ending up here. At one point, even Moscow would have been a stretch, and that was obviously still Russia. The fact that he would be walking down a sidewalk in Brooklyn, under the elevated tracks of the Q train that rattles and bangs overhead, on a cool spring morning to do his shopping at the Brighton Bazaar – in, should this somehow not be clear, America – and then returning to his apartment and his husband is, quite frankly, something out of an alternate-Ivan timeline. One from the Twilight Zone, or whatever they are calling that kind of thing these days. Sometimes when he thinks about it too much, he gets afraid that it is in fact a dream. That no matter how long it has gone on and how good it has been, it will suddenly and inevitably end. After all, he is Russian. Sunny optimism has never been accused of forming a notable facet of the national character, and Ivan himself would never be described as the hopeful type. But God, for this, he does.

He reaches the bazaar – a bustling blue-awninged international supermarket with three-quarters of its signs written in Cyrillic – and steps inside, grabbing a basket and pulling a scrap of paper from his pocket to double-check his list. He knows what he needs, but he likes the tidiness of writing it down, and he proceeds into the crammed aisles, passing customers speaking English, Russian, Ukrainian, Uzbek, Yiddish, and several other languages he can’t identify by ear. Brighton Bazaar stocks all the Russian products necessary to satisfy even a homesick expat like Ivan, and he enjoys being able to navigate the store with ease and read all the labels at first glance. He can get by in English, if he’s pressed, but it’s easier to leave it to Fedyor, who is fluent, and in here, he can conjure the illusion that he will walk out on the street and be back where he truly belongs. He likes Brighton Beach a great deal more than he ever expected to, but it’s no replacement for the real thing.

Ivan collects his purchases, along with a few special extras, and takes them to the counter. He is greeted in Russian by the checkout clerk, who knows him well for always turning up at the same time every Saturday morning with military precision. As Semyon Pavlovich Kuznetsov (who is called Syoma by his friends, but he has not clearly stated that Ivan can use the diminutive and therefore Ivan does not) scans his items, Ivan consents to exchange a few gruff words of small talk on the weather (nice) how the Mets did last night (badly) and the old guy who apparently died of a heart attack two days ago in the Russian bathhouse on Neck Road (making Ivan glad he did not choose said day to attend). It’s this weird Russian-American hybrid of things, since Semyon is the teenage grandson of a Red Army veteran who fought at Stalingrad, but he was born and raised in Brooklyn, loves American video games, and is fully fluent in American pop culture. It startles Ivan to realize that while this kid speaks Russian perfectly, he has probably never done so in Russia outside of a few visits back to the old country when his family can afford it. That is a very personal question to ask one’s grocery clerk, however, and he does not.

And then there’s that other thing, which he would definitely never be asked in Russia, especially not these days. Semyon hits the button to tally up Ivan’s bill, informs him that he owes $56.77, and then says cheerily, “How is Fedyor?”

Ivan concentrates on digging the exact amount out of his wallet in cash, since he never had a credit card when he lived in Russia and is still somewhat leery of them. “Fedyor is fine,” he says curtly, in the tone that makes it clear that he understands this question is an expected part of an American social interaction, but that is all the information he is willing to venture. “Here is the money.”

Semyon accepts it, counts it into the till, and rings the transaction through, handing Ivan his bags and his receipt. “Have a nice day, Mr. Kaminsky!”

“Thank you, Semyon Pavlovich.” Ivan accepts his purchases and leaves the store, taking a deep breath of the salty, sunny air and the wind whipping off the seafront. It’s still a little too early in the year for there to be many bathers on the beach, though there are always people strolling on the boardwalk. It’s only a few minutes to the apartment, which is just off Brighton Beach Avenue and overlooks the Atlantic Ocean. Ivan buzzes into the old brownstone, takes the stairs to the third floor, and as he unlocks his front door and lets himself in, wonders, yet again, at the sheer impossibility that his life has led him here.

Ivan is the third of five boys, but he was the one who was named after his father. It was not, of course, because they had some special hope for him to be the great inheritor of paternal pride, but a simple matter of logistics. His oldest brother, Roman, was named after their paternal grandfather. His second-oldest brother, Oleg, was named after their maternal grandfather. When Ivan arrived, only then was it proper to name him after Ivan Romanovich, Ivan Sakharov senior, since rushing too fast to glorify yourself as an individual, rather than your community and your ancestors, could be seen as running contrary to the collectivist ideals of the great Soviet Union. By the time his two younger brothers arrived, his parents were hard pressed for ideas; Yuri (for Gagarin) and Vladimir (originally for Lenin, though that has obviously acquired a different connotation those days) were clearly obtained by putting the names of national heroes into a hat and picking.

Five children was quite a lot for a Soviet-generation family, and Ivan doesn’t know anyone else his age with that number of siblings. After all, more children meant more time standing in line at Municipal Grocery Store #5 for food that has to be shared among more mouths, more worries about how to clothe and educate and accommodate them, more chances for one of them to go terminally astray and betray the family honor. Ivan wonders sometimes if his parents only really wanted Roman and Oleg, but decided to keep going as a matter of gaming the system, so much as it was able to be gamed.

By the early 1980s, the aging, decrepit, dying USSR, run by aging, decrepit, dying men, was in the grip of a demographic crisis so extreme that it was a contest between worrying about which one would end them faster: crazy President Reagan with his finger on the nuclear button, or the whole country just keeling over of old age. The idea of what a family even meant had been under constant challenge since the heady days of the Bolsheviks, who denounced marriage as a construct of bourgeoisie oppression and preached for free love and sexual liberation. Then it went hard back in the other direction during Stalin and the Great Patriotic War, holding up the traditional nuclear family as the highest ideal and offering rewards to mothers who had multiple children. Then it lurched away again. Abortion and contraception had been legal and freely available since the days of the revolution and most Soviet women made good use of them. Plus, of course, the obvious difficulties of maintaining a sizeable family when it was increasingly impossible to obtain even basic supplies and foodstuffs. It just made no sense.

Desperately trying to counter this slide toward self-inflicted obsolescence, the late-stage USSR came up with a number of incentives to boost the birth rate by any means necessary. They allowed mothers to refuse to list fathers on the birth certificate, to avoid social shame if he was married, foreign, a drunkard, or otherwise unsuitable, and beefed up programs to support single women with children. They also went back to the old-school plan of granting extra stipends, housing privileges, and state recognition to families that had more than two children, and Ivan himself was the third of his. It doesn’t take a genius to deduce that he was almost surely conceived for the tax benefits.

Not, that is, that it didn’t work. When Ivan was born in 1984, the family lived in a tiny apartment on the tenth floor of a building with no elevator (or rather it did have an elevator, but it was always broken), crowded in with three single young men who were at the very bottom of the list for being assigned housing. By the time his youngest brother, Vladimir, was born in 1987, they had been moved to a small house of their own on the outskirts of Krasnoyarsk, not far from the bus that his father took two hours a day out to the mine. The cynical old joke in the USSR was that the people pretended to work and the government pretended to pay them, though in Ivan Romanovich’s case, the work was backbreakingly real, even if the money wasn’t. He would come home exhausted and filthy after a sixteen-hour shift and yell at Galina Sakharova to feed him, bark at his sons, and then fall asleep in front of the television, only to get up the next morning and shuffle off again.

Ivan Ivanovich has spent a lot of time after he left home trying to understand what that kind of life would do to a man, mostly because he didn’t do it while he was there. Of course he didn’t. He was a child, and it was simply what he was used to, the only way the world could possibly be. On the night of December 26, 1991, as Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev signed the United Soviet Socialist Republics out of existence with a single stroke of the pen, Ivan remembers his father crying and swearing and throwing things at the wall, the heavy yellow-glass ashtray that always seemed unbreakable, perched on the kitchen table to collect the detritus of his constant cigarettes, smashed to bits just like their country, their sense of self, their security. It wasn’t as if life in the USSR was so wonderful. It was just the only thing they knew. Beyond that, there was nothing but the terror of the utterly unknown.

At any rate, the world didn’t end. The oligarchs moved in and began snapping up Russia’s newly privatized economy. Ivan Ivanovich, of course, had no goddamn clue about this either, aside from overhearing his father curse about it some more. He trudged through secondary school and left at eighteen, without even trying to proceed onto university. Those weren’t for someone like him, he knew that. Instead he got a job at the ever-troubled Krasnoyarsk Aluminum Plant, and went straight to work on the factory floor.

It was around this time that the one disruption in his otherwise humdrum life, the one thing that stopped him from just settling into the same miserable existence as his father and going on like that forever, became too impossible to ignore. And that was the fact that no matter how much Ivan tried to squash it down, push it aside, or otherwise pretend it didn’t exist, he could no longer deny the fact that he was attracted to men, and only to men. He bought some of the cheap porn magazines from the tabak, tried to flip through them and get something out of the girls in heavy eyeliner and bleached-blonde hair, spilling out of their scanty lingerie, and just… didn’t. He wasn’t even interested enough to try a conversation with a real flesh-and-blood woman (not that Ivan had ever gotten through a conversation with another human being, especially a woman, without disaster) and see if it was different in the flesh. Nothing about the experience, even imagining it, appealed to him at all. But men…

He knew it wasn’t right, just because – well, you knew that sort of thing, you didn’t have to ask about it, you didn’t let on. But nonetheless, something, somehow, must have given him away, because one evening after the end of his shift, one of his coworkers cornered him in the back. His name was Konstantin and he was a few years older, big and bluff and constantly smelling like machine oil. He stood there, folded his arms, and said, “I will give you five hundred rubles if you suck my dick, Ivan Ivanovich.”

Ivan didn’t know how to answer. He had never spoken to Konstantin about anything aside from the job. He didn’t like him, he wasn’t attracted to him, and he didn’t want his filthy fucking rubles. He wanted to go home and take a shower.

And yet. He wanted to know. So when he went home, it was with five hundred rubles in his pocket, and a strange, indefinable feeling of something both excitement and shame. He looked it up later and found that it was barely seven American dollars, barely enough to buy a sandwich in this place he now lives. Then after that it became – not a relationship, not exactly. But he had done it once and Konstantin knew that he was at least theoretically willing, and there was no getting away from it now. Soon enough it became something of a regular thing, and then Konstantin wanted to try other stuff and not always pay, and if Ivan ever protested, Konstantin would threaten to get him fired from the factory or tell his family what they were doing. Ivan knew that he couldn’t let this happen, and besides, this was a relationship, or so he would tell himself. It was rough and it wasn’t very enjoyable and he didn’t like the way it made him feel, but it was probably the best he was going to get, here in this place, so he had no choice but to put up with it.

Until one night when his older brother came to pick him up from work, which he didn’t usually do. Something about it set off Ivan’s alarm bells, but he got into Roman’s battered old Zhiguli anyway. They didn’t head back toward the house. Instead they headed for the country, the narrow, crumbling road that led into the vast forests of Krasnoyarsk Krai. The city was often voted one of the most beautiful in Siberia, surviving even its long periods of grim industrialization with something of its soul intact. It wasn’t as cold as Yakutsk or Oymyakon, the places where it stayed at sixty below zero all winter long and boiling water froze when you tossed it out the window. Winters only got down to a few degrees below, and in Russia, that was par for the course. Ivan loved his hometown, and he was used to the outdoors. He was a sportsman, a natural athlete. He played hockey, bandy, football, rugby, and basketball (surprisingly popular in Russia). He swam and boxed. He was tall and tough and muscled and most people never bothered him. But when the car coasted to a halt in the middle of nowhere and Roman turned off the headlights, he was still terrified.

His brother said, “I hear you’re doing things, Vanya.”

Ivan didn’t answer.

“I hear you’re doing things with men.” Roman reached over and grabbed him violently by the shoulders, pinning him against the seat. “Disgusting things. I will not have one of those in the family, do you hear me? Do you hear me? If I find out that you have done it ever again, even once, I will make sure that you pay the price. Are you listening? Say that you understand.”

“Yes,” Ivan said. “I understand.”

What he really understood was that he was going to leave, when he had barely been out of Krasnoyarsk Krai in his life. Going as far as Novosibirsk for a shopping trip was unusual, and once, in school, he went to Georgia, which was the first time he had left the country (though of course, it used to be the country). But he knew that he could not stay here anymore, and in a moment of welcome serendipity, that was also when his conscription notice arrived. At the time, every Russian man over the age of eighteen had to serve two obligatory years in the armed forces (though it has since been lowered to one, of which Ivan does not necessarily approve), and his number had come up. So he quit his job, did not say goodbye to Konstantin or tell him where he was going, packed his few boxes of things, and moved four thousand kilometers and four time zones west to Moscow.

Ivan arrived in the capital trying not to present himself as a wet-behind-the-ears country boy, to act like he knew what he was doing, to show he was much tougher and meaner than any of these spoiled, pampered little children whining about how hard it was when they trudged into headquarters and presented their army notices. In that, he had a genuine advantage; he had worked hard for his whole life, he had already been through whatever could possibly endured with a father and four brothers, and he found the strict routines, harsh discipline, and predictable tasks of the army comforting. Everyone was scared of him, he didn’t need to try (though he did), and that was also gratifying. He worked hard and pleased his commanders, who tried to entice him to stay on as a full-time professional serviceman. There were many opportunities for a man of his talents, and more money than Ivan had ever dreamed of. As for his personal life, as long as he was scrupulously discreet and kept turning in good results, they would not trouble to enquire too closely. That was already better than from what he had expected with Konstantin. Once again, he thought it would be the best he got.

That was where, therefore, he met Aleksander Ilyich Morozov.

Morozov was his opposite in many ways – rich, well-spoken, well-educated, the son of a legendary KGB commander and the inheritor of comfort and privilege even in the lean last days of the USSR. He was about Ivan’s own age, but he had a self-possession and a gravitas that made him seem older. He had started training for a career in the Russian security services practically from childhood, and he had pegged Ivan as a particularly promising recruit. “You should come with me,” he said. “We would find an excellent career for you.”

Ivan was never sure how to respond when Morozov started talking like this. He admired the man and was admittedly attracted to him – not just the dark, elegant handsomeness, but the manifest air of being a person who mattered, who made the rest of the world sit up and take notice and play by his rules – and while he knew that Morozov was ruthless, he wasn’t bothered by that and was willing to do the same when it was called for. Ivan didn’t see the world as some nice candy fairy place where good deeds were always rewarded and violence was always wrong, not least since he knew full well that it didn’t work like that. He didn’t have time for these idiots who thought they would get out there and hold hands and change the world with the power of sunshine and kisses or whatever it was. He didn’t.

Then there was one night when Morozov was at Ivan’s apartment, and they had been drinking and making big plans for ruling the world behind the scenes, and Ivan forgot himself entirely and leaned over the table and kissed him. He tried to pull back almost at once, but Morozov didn’t resist. In fact, he leaned in and put a hand behind Ivan’s head and kept him there, and in that moment, Ivan knew that while this might not be personally objectionable for Sasha (his sexuality was undiscussed but evidently fluid), that wasn’t the reason he was going along with it. It was because he knew instinctively that it was a perfect way to control Ivan, to harness his attraction and his weakness and his willingness to go along with whatever Sasha wanted, and in that, despite all the big plans they had put together and the way Ivan had dreamed of his life changing, it was just Konstantin all over again, and Ivan was straight back at the factory on his knees, small and cornered and powerless. It was visceral and it was wrong and it wasn’t the best he would ever do and he wasn’t, he wasn’t taking that.

They pulled back and Sasha made an enquiring noise, like he wanted to know if Ivan was interested in sealing the deal, and instead Ivan ordered him to leave right now, get out. That was the end of their friendship; they never spoke to each other again, and when his third year in the army ran out, which he had already taken voluntarily, he left. He got a job at some Moscow industrial plant and it was there, through the friend of a friend, he met Nadia Zhabina. And it turned out that she was queer (the first time he had ever heard the word spoken in a good way, something he wanted to be, something he didn’t mind accepting, rather than as an attack), and it turned out after that that she had a friend she wanted him to meet, only it clearly meant that she thought they should go out. Like. On a date.

Ivan flatly shut her down. He did not date, he did not want to date, he did not think he would be good at dating, he did not want to meet some pansy city boy from Nizhny Novgorod who he would immediately dislike, and he was not going to do it, the end. Only Nadia really seemed disappointed, and maybe it was not the worst thing to try a little. This would backfire terribly, he would get over it, and move on with his life.

In Ivan’s opinion, the first date with Fedyor Mikhailovich Kaminsky was, at least on his own behalf, a modest success. He was unavoidably late, thanks to the bus running behind schedule, but he introduced himself, his hobbies, and made it clear what sort of person he was and what he was interested in. He even sent a polite follow-up text with an invitation to meet again. There. No questions, no confusion, everything very straightforward and clear. Nothing to complain about. That was how you did a date, yes?

It turned out, however, that Fedyor Mikhailovich was either very reticent, or perhaps confused, or maybe he did not even know that they had been on a date and Nadia had not clearly explained to him. Burned by his experiences at home, knowing how easily word could get out to the wrong people, Ivan did not want to bring up the subject explicitly, but he had to admit to a considerable confusion. Maybe Fedyor actually liked to just mince around Moscow city parks together, like something out of a Tolstoy novel, or to sit on his couch and watch bad American action movies together. (Later, Ivan learned that Die Hard is actually something of a cult classic, but it’s still slightly lost on him.) That wasn’t bad, because Ivan – to his great bafflement and wariness – liked spending time with him. Fedyor wasn’t like him at all, but they clicked nonetheless. He was the exact kind of idealistic activist that Ivan had long disdained, but it was different with him. When Fedya talked, he liked to listen, to dream about a world that really did work that way. It didn’t, but it felt closer.

Besides that, he was cute. He was well-put together. He was charming and vivacious and could talk to people that they met, while Ivan stood scowling with his hands in his pockets and wondered how long this was going to take. He really desperately wanted to kiss Fedya (and for that matter, do other things to him), and he found himself thinking about it a lot. But what if it was like with Sasha again, and it was either Ivan opportunistically taking it for himself, or Fedya selfishly trying to keep him there, to use him for his own purposes? Maybe Fedya was the idiot. He had to know they were together, right? Or were they together? Ivan suddenly wasn’t sure. Damn it! Why didn’t Fedyor subscribe to the school of just being clear about things? Ivan himself had nothing to do with the problem.

But then there came that night, and Fedya cooking dinner and stumbling through trying to ask him if they were maybe something, and in that moment, Ivan found it all so hilarious that the only thing he could do was sit there and let the whole thing play out. Then it turned out, of course, that they were together, and that Fedyor kissed him just as deliciously as Ivan had imagined, and maybe Nadia Zhabina was not so wrong after all.

Maybe she was not wrong in the least.

Ivan takes his supermarket bags to the sunny kitchen of the mostly-remodeled apartment and sets them down. Fedya has picked out all the colors and wallpapers and furniture and paint, and Ivan has done most of the work, since he is gainfully employed as a handyman and repair-person and he doesn’t want to pay some American to half-ass a job that he can do better. The apartment is really quite lovely now. The living room has been done in a pale, springy green, the white plaster moldings washed and repaired, all the junk of the previous owner finally cleared out except for one or two collectibles that they decided to keep. There’s a bookshelf and a desk filled with Fedya’s work things, a couch and a television and a coffee table and new curtains. The bedroom is big and airy, with a ceiling fan and new carpets. Framed pictures and art pieces hang on the wall. It looks like a place where real people live.

Ivan makes breakfast, cooking and stirring and brewing the coffee, and puts it all on a tray. It’s Saturday, so of course Fedya is still asleep, and Ivan pads through the apartment to the closed bedroom door, balancing the tray on his hip long enough to open it and cast a strip of light inside. It takes a moment, but Fedyor rolls over, groggy and tousled and very, very cute with his bed-headed dark hair and squinting eyes. “Vanya? What smells so good?”

“Happy birthday, my love.” Ivan sets the tray on the bedside table and leans down to kiss him, as Fedyor makes a happy humming sound and throws his arms around Ivan’s neck, cuddling against him like a barnacle. “I have made you breakfast.”

(His younger self was wrong, and he has never been so glad of it.)

(This was the best, this is the best, this was waiting for him, this kind of happiness could happen for him, and he is grateful beyond all words that he fought for it and believed it until it did.)

#ivan x fedyor #heartrender husbands #fivan #ivan kaminsky #a phantom in enchanting light #pel asks #anonymous #ask #fivan ff

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thatgamefromthatad · 3 years

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Mobile Game Review - Helix Waltz (Recommended by @raimi)

🎻 What is this app? Helix Waltz is a dress up game with an elaborate storyline that heavily involves character interactions. On the App Store it’s described as a “thrilling ballroom drama set in Baroque style dress,” which I think accurately reflects the sort of vintage European court-style setting the game takes place in. The setting also has fantasy elements, including characters of different “races” such as elves and people with animal ears and tails called Orens.

The game follows a main storyline as well as various side storylines and has a large cast of characters with their own personalities and preferences, all of whom you can build up your relationship with, which will affect their interactions with you depending on the level of favor you have with them. Rather than playing out in a linear set of stages or chapters, the story progresses as you accept and complete missions and attend balls where you have the chance to encounter other characters attending the same ball. There’s a bit of freedom in that sense where you can attend any of the available balls you want and encounter any of the characters that are there without necessarily following the main storyline, building up favor and getting to know anyone you want.

The dress up part is structured somewhat similarly to other dress up games I’ve played - there are various items in different categories (hairstyles, headwear, dresses, shoes, different types of accessories, etc.) with different attributes and rarities that will affect your “chic” level at any ball or other outing you attend, as well as how other characters perceive you depending on their preferences. You can have “beauty contests” with other characters you encounter at balls that compares your outfit’s chic level to theirs and there are other parts of the game where your outfits can compete with others players’. You can gain new dress up items through completing quests and through a gacha-type mechanic where you draw from different sets of potential items.

📝 Review Summary: The sheer number of different characters you can interact with in this game is very impressive, and it’s definitely entertaining getting to know them all and try to build relationships with them. I definitely found myself getting invested in certain characters and wanting to progress through the storyline so I could learn more. The art in this game is also very beautiful, which includes both the character designs and clothing items.

The follower who recommended this game noted that there is queer representation, including a trans character, which is a positive aspect, but I noticed there was not a lot of BIPOC representation, specifically a lack of characters with dark skin and limited options to have dark for your own character. The default character you play is white with very pale skin, and from my understanding from doing a little research, skin color changes are included as makeup items which definitely seems wrong, not only because you have to get your hands on the right item to have darker skin but because skin color as makeup seems to imply blackface, even if that’s completely unintentional (the makeup items in this game aren’t technically just makeup - they also change the shape of facial features). I definitely think this game should add different base skin tones, as well as characters who aren’t all super pale.

Full review below:

***

👍What’s good about this app? The enormous cast of characters in this game and the multi-faceted system involved in gaining favor with them and getting to know them are definitely this game’s biggest assets, in my opinion. Each character has their own unique personality, backstory, style, relationships and role within the in-game society, but what’s really enticing is the fact that the story tends to build up a bit of mystery and intrigue about different characters and families/factions, which motivates you even more to get close with certain NPCs and learn the different secrets they hold. The game is pretty immersive that way in the sense that your goal of building up enough trust and prestige to gain access to the most interesting intel/gossip aligns with the main character’s goal of integrating and positioning herself strategically amidst higher society.

That sense of immersion also comes through in the way the game is structured to allow you to interact pretty freely with the characters rather than following a linear path from one encounter to another. You encounter other characters similarly to how you would if you really were a young noble in this sort of society - by wandering around ballrooms or other settings and seeing who you run into or seeking out those that you already have some level of relationship with. You can even get letters from them! You can choose to follow closely to the main plot, or pick your favorite characters and go out of your way to interact with them, or a mixture of both. This game really focuses around character interactions in a way I’ve never personally seen before, and it’s very impressive - and fun!

Another great aspect of this game is the art, which of course is an important aspect for any dress up game. I’m not very well-versed in fashion in general, but I can say from an average Joe perspective that the clothing items and outfit sets are overall just very pleasing to look at and give me that sort of mouthwatery fashion-p*rn feeling whenever I see some extravagant “look” whether it be from real life, a game or any other sort of media. You could say I’m easily pleased though since I can say that about just about any other dress up game I’ve played or been widely exposed to (Love Nikki, Time Princess etc.). One thing I think is especially cool in this game is the perfume category which I can best describe as creating a kind of animated aura around your character that differs in appearance depending on the perfume. This works well with the fantasy-type setting of the game and gives a little extra magical oomph to the outfits. Other outfit pieces can also be animated, like jewelry that sparkles for example, which is also a nice touch.

The last positive thing I’d like to mention is the theme song of this game that plays in the main menu (and pretty much everywhere else except outings), it’s so beautiful and I love it so much I added it to my Spotify playlist I listen to every day lol. The song is Sans Toi by Sarah Natasha Warne if you’re curious.

In the video below you can see a perfume item in action creating a galaxy-like aura around the character, and hear a short clip of the song as well.

[Video Description: A screen recording showing a fully dressed-up character wearing a luxurious red white and gold robe over an ornate black and white collared top with a red vest and loose-fitting brown pants that have two golden stripes at the end of each pant leg. They are holding a sword, have long blond hair tied in a high-set ponytail that drapes over their left shoulder and have a large, circular golden ornament position behind their head resembling a sun or halo. They are wearing dark stockings and black high heels, and there is a sparkling, swirling aura around them with streams of light changing color from blue to purple flowing toward them. The rest of the character and clothing is still except for jewelry and accessories that sparkle and glow and some golden parts of the clothing that shimmer.]

👎 What’s wrong with this app? There are a few minor flaws with this app such as a glitch(?) I experienced a few times where I was talking with one character and another character suddenly appeared and then disappeared, which I’m pretty sure was a glitch because after it happened for some reason I wasn’t able to complete any of my goals at the ball. Also if you don’t have a great internet connection it can be very frustrating because the game will freeze often, although I can’t criticize this that much since my internet connection just sucks and I’ve experienced this with other games before that are just highly reliant on having a constant internet connection.

Probably my main problem with this game is the lack of diversity in skin tones, both in the cast of characters and in your options for your own character. Like I said there are dozens of characters in this game but from what I’ve seen so far they almost all have pale/light skin. I don’t really think the setting of this game is an excuse considering it’s a fantasy setting and there are definitely characters from different regions or backgrounds but they all just happen to have very light skin. Another reason I think there should definitely be more diversity is that there are definitely themes of racial discrimination in the story - some characters will spout stereotypes and hateful comments about other races, in reference to fantasy races or other social groups in the game, and I’m definitely not saying the targets of those comments should be dark-skinned, I just feel like if you’re going to touch on those subjects but have little to no representation of the people who experience that kind of discrimination in real-life, it seems a bit hypocritical. As a disclaimer I am mixed-race (East Asian and white) and semi-white passing with pale skin so I’m not an authority on the skin tone issue specifically but my opinion as someone reviewing this game is that there’s no reason to not have more diversity in the game, even regardless of whether it involves the themes that I mentioned.

Below is just a handful of the NPCs but as I scrolled through the list pretty much everyone had pale/light skin, Gedanh is the NPC with the darkest skin tone as far as I know:

As far as a lack of diversity in selecting a skin tone for your own character, that didn’t specifically stand out to me at first considering the main character is a pre-established character and not as much of a self-insert as in other games like Time Princess, but the fact that you can change your facial features using “makeup items” and skin tone is also locked to certain makeup items doesn’t seem fair, since it makes whiteness the default and limits darker skin tones to these specific items and corresponding makeup looks. I’m not sure what adding diverse base skin tones would look like from a programming perspective for this game but with everything else this game has going on that is so complex and impressive I feel like there’s not an excuse in this day and age to exclude something as basic as different skin colors.

While the lack of diversity is definitely my biggest criticism of the game, I’ll just add that another flaw is that many aspects of the game can be confusing and despite a pretty lengthy series of tutorial quests that teach you about different parts of the game, I still have some confusion after playing for a while. For example I’m still not even completely sure if winning a beauty contest against a character strengthens your relationship with them, and I had to look at the Helix Waltz wiki to learn how to investigate NPCs’ preferences and exactly how remaking clothes works etc. The wiki and other players are a great resource, but having more guidance in-game, even if it’s in the Help/FAQ section (which I checked and still didn’t have all the info I needed), would be an improvement.

🪞Full list of features (there are a lot but I’ll try to cover them to the best of my ability):

Storyline (main plot, side plots that unlock when you strengthen your relationships with characters and event plots)

Quests (there are quests that go along with the plot or events as well as daily quests. The daily quests are more simple such as “talk to X amount of NPCs” or “attend X amount of balls” while the other quests involve having interactions with specific characters, wearing specific dress up items to certain events, etc.)

Dress up (you dress up for every ball or other outing you attend. Each ball will have a different clothing attribute, such as a certain color or style, that increases your chic points if you wear items with the corresponding tag. Different characters also have style preferences but you need to investigate to find out each character’s preference. In addition to dress up before events, the mirror section of the main interface allows you to make whatever outfit you want with the items you have, which will be the outfit your character wears during scenes outside of outings. There are different categories of items corresponding to different parts of the outfit and for some categories you can wear more than one item from the same category, such as wearing a different bracelet on each wrist)

Balls (this is one of the two main ways you will interact with characters and complete quests. There are a few balls you can choose to attend at any given time, hosted by a specific family or faction, with specific characters attending that you can check before you enter the ball. Once you enter the ball and dress up, you can choose to approach a certain character if that option is available - I think you can only approach characters directly if you’ve already talked to them at the ball or if you are wearing an outfit they like but I’m not sure about that part - or you can choose “wander around” and have the chance to encounter different characters who are attending)

Other outings (in addition to balls there are other places in the game where you can encounter other characters, such as the slum and the tavern, and these outings work similarly to balls in terms of character interactions)

Conversation (for basic conversation you pick from a selection of topics and you can gain favor with a certain character by correctly picking the topic they prefer. There is dialog to read for every conversation although these are stock conversations that repeat so you’ll usually want to just speed through them. When you increase your relationship with a character you can unlock special conversations with them that are more unique and tied to the plot)

Q&A (sometimes a character will ask you a question and depending on if they like your answer it can boost your favor with them)

Beauty contests (while conversing with a character sometimes you can have a beauty contest against them comparing your outfit to theirs, and if you win you get points that I believe go toward earning in-game currency - another thing I’m not 100% sure about. I think you can only have a beauty contest with female characters but there is at least one male character I’ve been able to have a beauty contest with. Sometimes a character will immediately force you into a beauty contest when you encounter them)

Dancing (sometimes when interacting with a character at a ball you’ll have the option to dance with them which opens up a short memory-based minigame. I think completing the minigame correctly yields similar rewards to winning a beauty contest. I think you can only dance with male characters as I’ve never had the option come up with female characters so far)

Gathering intel (intel is a resource in the game that is used to learn more about characters and that can be exchanged with characters for rewards. While wandering around a ball you may have the chance to eavesdrop on characters and gain intel)

Gift Box/gacha mechanic (The Gift Box section of the game is where you can draw from different gacha-type pools for items and resources. Different pools take different currencies and have different sets of items)

Remaking, dyeing and enchanting clothes (you can change the style or color of some clothing items if you collect the right resources, which changes both the item’s outward appearance and attributes that go toward chic points/gaining favor with different characters. You can also enchant clothing items, which changes their appearance and increases their chic points)

Events (there are limited-time events such as events that offer limited-time items/gacha pools and limited-time quests)

Illusion Contests (one way you can compete with other players in the game rather than NPCs. You are given preset clothes items to choose from in order to put together an outfit, and can give the outfit a name. Your outfit is scored based on a voting system where two outfits are shown and players can vote for one or the other. You get rewards based on how many votes you get and you also get rewarded for voting on other outfits)

Championship (another way to compete with others players using your owned items rather than preset items. I have not participated in the championship myself yet but from my understanding you make one outfit to defend against other players challenging you and then make outfits to challenge other players’ defending outfits. The players you have the option to challenge will be the same rank as you so the competition is balanced and I believe this competition is based on the attributes of your items and a theme set for the current championship cycle, a bit more like a NPC beauty contest than the voting-based Illusion Contests.)

⭐️ Overall Rating: 4/5 (this would definitely be a 5/5 game if they fixed the racial diversity issue but it’s unfortunate that a game that’s otherwise so complex and engaging - and has LGBTQ+ representation - drops the ball in this area. I definitely hope they at least add the ability to have different base skin tones in the future.)

I really enjoyed this game so thank you to @raimi for suggesting it! If anyone else has any game review suggestions feel free to send them 🥳

#helix waltz #dress up games #dressup games #mobile games #baroque #full game reviews #fashion games #lgbt characters #game characters #interactive fiction #recommended #court games #fantasy games #game music #image descriptions in alt text #long post

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itsuki-minamy · 3 years

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WONDERFUL SCHOOL DAYS: MY PRECIOUS RED

EXTRA CHAPTER: MEMORIES

Translation: Naru-kun Raws: skyflyinginaction

* Gakuen K (List of Chapters) * Projects & Chapters

"Thanks to you guys for turning it into a hangout, the sales are terrible."

Kusanagi, who had a serious face, pounded his fist on the counter.

"I don't care if it continues like this, but I can't make any money..."

"Oh, it is very difficult."

Kamamoto said that while he was dipping a taiyaki.

"How forgiving. It's mainly your fault. You could cooperate as well."

"I told you I'd cooperate... Should I pick up a girl and take her away?"

"That's what I'm doing. Stupid."

After cutting off Chitose's words with a single sentence, Kusanagi raised his index finger.

"It's only one month until the end of October. At HOMRA, we decided to have a special Halloween lunch and candy. During the day, you guys will earn money!"

When does Kusanagi go to college? It's a mystery.

"You will help us promote so that as many people as possible can come."

"Oh, then, after all, we will retake..."

"That's what I'm saying. Stupid. Don't give your dark image to the store. At times like this, put it in a bag with two candies and distribute it down the street. I'm doing a Halloween fair. If you dress up, you'll see better."

(That's it. In other words, do something like hand out tissues.), she thought.

"I'm going to dress up and give it in the city... Do you have a costume?"

When she bowed her head, Totsuka stood up and descended into the underground warehouse.

"Of course. The costume I wore to the Halloween party last year."

"Ah!"

"Mikoto was a vampire, Totsuka was a mummy man, and Kamamoto played Frankenstein. And later…"

She wanted to see it. Suoh's Dracula? He would be absolutely powerful. Anyway, that hair, those eyes. She means, he would disguise himself, that would be surprising, but he wondered if almost everything was already "done".

"Yata-chan was a werewolf?"

"Who should I threaten to get the photos?!"

When she accidentally clasped her hands and said that, Kusanagi smiled a bitter smile, "Saya-chan, your ideas have been colored."

"Even if you threatened someone, there must be a video taken by Totsuka in the basement. The photo is surely there."

"Oh, let's enjoy it later! Thanks!"

"Saya-chan has quite an interesting thinking circuit. Well, he knew it."

Was that so? But it's not something she could ignore. She absolutely had to see it.

"There was! I got stuck in a box searching, so I had to do a bit of checking."

Then, Totsuka came back and put a large cardboard box on the ground.

When he opened the box, that was true. Everything was messy.

"Konohana-san, could you disguise yourself as a witch?"

"Eh? Until now, there were no female members, but do you have girl costumes?"

"Last year, there was a guy who was dressed as a woman in a punishment game."

At Kamamoto's words, Eric turned his back on her. That said it all.

"It's easy to understand because it's an advertisement and it's easy to move because it's used outside, hmm."

"That's right. Is it easy to put on and take off with a cape or gown?"

She rescues the vampire cape from the box. She would have to wash and iron it.

With that in mind, her eyes caught something lower.

"Oh, cat ears Katyusha..."

She takes out the Katyusha with big black triangular ears.

"......"

Somehow it was badly ordered.

"Oh, that's good. It would be nice if Konohana-san put it on."

"Because I?"

"Eh? You didn't see it because you wanted to wear it?"

No, she definitely wanted to put it on, but that wasn't the story.

She put her index finger to her lips and turned back.

Totsuka got it and made a face saying "I see." and he laughed.

She got up quietly so as not to make a noise and went to Yata who was looking at the brochure.

Then she quickly removed him hat and put Katyusha cat ears on his head.

"Eh?"

He might not know what happened because of his sudden outrage, but for a moment, Yata looked back vigorously and rolled his eyes.

That expression was cute!

When he suddenly struck a gutsy pose, Yata, who opened his mouth, casually tugged at the cat ears and pulled them off. Then he looked at her and blushed, "Oh…".

"What are you doing?! Give me back my hat!"

"I'm sorry! I can't control my desires... But I think you're cute!"

"Hey, what are you saying?! Wait! What's this about me being cute?!"

But even if they told him what to do...

"Well, I'm happy, because I wanted to see the cute Yata-kun... Oh! I will record it firmly on my retina. Thank you."

When she bowed deeply, Yata looks even further. At the same time, the store burst into laughter.

"Eh? Hey, guys! Don't laugh!"

Yata stood up and looked at everyone who was laughing.

His face was bright red, and they all laughed to mock him.

When she thought about it, she already liked Yata for no reason. She wanted to see various facets of Yata. She wanted to fill up on Yata.

She laughed and caught the photo of Yata with cat ears and a shocked expression.

After all, the cat ears would be worn at the Red club's Halloween party at a later date, by Yata, who lost in the punishment game. Eric also went back to dressing up as a woman, so he was in a bad mood the entire time during the party.

"Saya, have you finished cleaning?"

She hears Yata's voice. An irreplaceable person and whom she loved too much.

From now on, they will live together in the future.

When she closed the photo album, she responded cheerfully and stood up.

#k #k project #k wonderfull school days #yata misaki #kusanagi izumo #totsuka tatara #suoh mikoto #homra #scepter 4 #kamamoto rikyo #fushimi saruhiko #munakata reisi #gakuen k

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nothisis-ridiculous · 3 years

Text

Take Me Home Now: Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten: Another Mother's Breakin'

Set after the events of ME3.

A rewrite. Ao3.

FemShepxKaidan

"Jane."

The recruit let the knocking go on for a third round, slowly shaking herself from the rickety cot. While these digs were nothing as fancy as the bunk back at the mall, the privacy was a paradise. Blank, dull, metal-lined walls were a price she was willing to pay over the colorful and plant-lined walls of the barracks. The humming noise of life rebuilding, no she belonged in the silence.

"Jane." This time her name was a statement, backed by a hint of threat.

"Just a moment," she groaned, rubbing the crust from the inner corners of her eyes, pushing sore muscles upright and forcing a shirt over her head but allowing it to fall at its own pace. Her pupils narrowed at the sudden influx of light filling her half of the crate, "morning?"

Helen looked her up and down, that damned frown a returning friend, "you should put a comb through that hair."

"For fuck's sa-"

The woman made a sudden jerk, but it stopped with a simple raising of her arm, brushing aside a fallen lash, "language, dear."

"Sorry," Jane's eyebrows narrowed, had she forgotten she was not a child, "why are you here?"

"Because we are going out."

"Don't I have three more days?" Jane returned.

The older woman in a rare admittance of defeat sighed, offering back a raised eyebrow, "you're well aware that was a ruse."

"I knew it!" she didn't.

"Yes, let's be proud that you are stubborn as they warned," Helen retorted with a hint of a smirk, "but you should be ready. I'm not going to let you slide and get breakfast, either!"

Yes, this encampment was a military installment, but it gave no reason to ready herself with the rest of the soldiers. Since Rahna had given up on her she did little to get out of her bunk. So far, her secret remained, but pushing it by becoming a regular around camp seemed too big of a risk. Evelyn gave her some reason to get out, but the kid quickly found friends. Within days she was no longer needed, though the shit still visited at least once a day that prodded her into some form of semblance. The lack of duties cemented her decision to remain secluded, bidding her time with the running videos in her head.

"So why me?" Jane pressed once they cleared the base by a few thousand meters, pulling the ration bar from her mouth.

The woman's dark eyes turned cross, "and don't you waste those rations."

"You'll never want them again after fresh produce," Jane murmured, swallowing down the bland brick of nutrition in three bites.

"The second reason for coming out here," Helen handed over a pistol, "fresh meat and pest removal."

"You know, someplace on Illium would sell Varren skewers as a delicacy," Jane overlooked the pistol with a grin, "man, could that krogan grill up a mean varren skewer."

"The pistol is back up; you should use biotics. No stunts," she warned without heed of her companion's previous comment.

"I'm a paragon of caution," Jane mumbled in response, deciding then it was best to follow after the woman in silence. Pausing only as her leader stopped.

"No stunts," a finger waggled at her, "that kid and her grandfather want you back, and I intend to see that through, despite your best attempts."

Jane giggled, "the LT would love that one."

"Dismiss it all you like, whinge that someone cares about your sorry hide," the woman spat, "you're being selfish. Everyone is hurting if you haven't noticed."

Jane's face drew blank, "while it's true, doesn't it feel better to be pissed off? To be angry that everything is changed? Fuck everyone else. I'm hurting." She looked over the horizon, directly into the blue beam that connected to the Citadel. It seemed so tiny from here, so insignificant.

Helen's gaze followed Jane's gaze, "trying to remember how much worse it could be rarely helps."

"I like to make myself feel better by telling myself that I'm angering out of grief; it's one of the stages, right? But what is there after it? I don't want to let it go and accept my world is gone," Jane's voice mellowed to a whisper, "acceptance is terrifying. It means you have to move forward."

They shared a silent moment together, connecting with a brief touch—neither alone as they thought.

"Who did you lose?"

"My heart."

"Who did you lose?"

"...my heart."

Horizon- Horizon was an awkward fumbling in the dark. An overhanded display The Illusive Man decided to lord over her. He knew her strings and just how to pluck them to make her dance to his tune. Pulling Kaidan into the entire mess with the Collectors was a threat. But as messy and powerless as the knowledge of what the Illusive Man would take from her was the undercurrent of hope. It was foolish to be caught up in the giddy excitement of returned love, But Kaidan loved her. The first confession and bitter tug on her heart. She should have told him then.

Mars- Mars was just as awkward. Running, sliding, and dodging bullets after months of being cooped up in a small apartment awaiting trial. Sideways glances, and a Major who wouldn't stop dogging her every step. He questioned, prodded, and accused her of terrible things. Granted, she well deserved it. He was so close, so in sync as if the years were mere minutes... yet the distance between them was a canyon wide. But the Major loved her, even if it was once upon a time. A lighthearted exchange broke some of the tension, but she still should have told him then.

The Citadel- "What's up" had to be the lamest greeting after an armed standoff. Not a clasping hug, not a gentle smile, instead she vocalized her worry that he was angry. She hadn't taken the shot at Udina, and she had made Kaidan make that impossible decision. To trust her word, to trust an ex-terrorist. It was too much to ask of anyone- but now she was someone he was in love with. Not a past tense, a was, but a current thing. Still, she fumbled, asking him to let her have it and killing any hope of a romantic reunion. Her stolen glances at his backside caught in the act gave him a sheepish glance away and not the confession he was owed.

The Citadel Pt. II- After a shamelessly little amount of convincing, she had found herself in a dress. It was supposed to be simple- a snack on the Citadel. But she had hoped for more, the flirting, the longing stares, compliments, and a little bit of girlish enthusiasm from Kaidan she dared to think they had a chance. It was the first 'I love you' the extra 'I always have' sending her heart fluttering into erratics that she fought to control, lest she make a scene. The graze of his tender lips against her palm relinquished any grasp she had left on that errant heart, the thundering of the heartbeat clouding her brain. The jealousy the rest of her skin felt for her palm stealing another confession.

2181 Despoina- Kaidan would always rue his attraction to adventurous women. Not the woman, but the spark that drove him there. She was always at risk; her daily amount of adventure qualified as a heroic event for most other citizens of the galaxy. For her, it was a normal Tuesday night. But still, he worried, and still, he continued to love her for the constant stress she brought him. Loved her recklessness because it was as much part of her as her freckles. In the wordless hours of the night, his grip always tighter after a harrowing encounter, she was silent.

The Normandy- Neither of them wanted a quick drink. It was a little silly, after all these years, after all his confessions, to still feel insecure about inviting Kaidan up to her cabin. Instead of being direct, he invented the excuse of a short drink to see her. To comfort each other- when they both knew they needed it. Everything felt so final, the end a ticking bomb, an end to the short time they had together. She found strength in him, a safety in knowing she had someone that would catch her. He loved her openly and proudly. He loved her without needing the words returned.

London- It was unreal, after three years finally approaching the finish line. Loss and love in equal measure. Now, it was time for her to go it alone. It was unnatural, and she fought against the notion. She didn't want to be alone- not at the end. Not after this blissful glimpse into the way love had brightened every facet of her being. Kaidan would gladly face a bitter end with her, going arm in arm to meet Garrus at the bar. But it was a fucked kind of love that pushed her to make him leave. The same love that screamed at him to get the hell off the Normandy, the love that now albeit gently pleaded with him to live. It wasn't a roar or a cry of victory but a rumble- a tender declaration. Kaidan knew, even if it took him repeating his love a thousand times over. Six was a good number, short. The heart knew it was needed.

"So refresh my memory," Jane questioned in a whisper, trying not to draw the entire den of Varren upon them at once, "just how many we are planning on bringing back?"

"Are you that keen on vaporizing them all?"

"I certainly can."

"Wouldn't that defeat one of our goals?"

"Well, I don't think you accounted for the transportation of a Varren," Jane noted, looking behind them at the lack of vessel to transport said game.

Jane was ignored with a huff, the woman peering around a blockade, "I want that one."

Jane took a look, the brown striped specimen had to top the list of heaviest varren she had seen, "seriously?"

"Yes. Jane."

"Aye, Aye, Ma'am."

There wasn't time for a seething look or the smarmy reply that would have followed. The creature floated, air-bound as if the weight of the animal defied gravity. It kicked at the air, unable to stop itself from moving toward the barrier that blocked the scent of view of its hunters. Jane yanked her hand forward, dragging against the invisible weight. It felt good, if not for the shred of panic that she might lose time again. The tell-tale sign of blood was not forthcoming.

The blast of sound ricocheting through the plaza quickly overcame any remaining fear.

"Whatever you do, do not approach these things," the recruit barked, yanking the older woman into the corner spot, "they will overwhelm you if they get close."

"Aye, Aye, Ma'am."

The pack burst from all corners, running full boar in the direction of their fallen packmate. Several running members fell in the chaos, while a line of biotic energy sent the group careening into nearby walls and structures. For what inexperience was worth, Helen held up well, keeping up trained focus on the beasts. The old lady had precision aim, wasting hardly a clip during the charge. Jane didn't have to pick up much slack. Now, if there were a third member, everything would be peachy.

The square was silent for a count of three before a single varren cried out loudly.

The alpha was on scene.

While she had not promised to keep from committing to a hair-brained stunt, biotic shockwaves and lifts were boring. A teenage biotic could perform these moves without a sweat, a N7 needed a challenge. She needed the thrill. Blue waves coalesced and pulsed around her form, the familiar vibration against her skin pleasurable. A fluid vault over the barrier propelling her charge into the lone Varren, sending it toppling from the blow. Jane dove for it, pummeling it with blasts of biotic energy until her knuckles bled.

This was no longer a stunt but a method of release.

"Seems those biotics are back online," Helen murmured, wiping something from her eyes.

Jane cocked her head, "where'd you learn to shoot?"

"That? Oh. I thought they'd go out like a coyote."

The blonde smirked, dismounting the alpha's corpse, wiping her fists against a clean portion of the animal's hide. Nothing from Tuchanka went down quietly.

Helen stood over her prize, after a long minute she looked at Jane expectantly, "aren't you going to grab that?"

"Your trophy, your struggle," Jane folded her arms in return, a sly grin crossing her face, "besides, by the way we snuck out of that base, I don't need any more blame for this... what would you call this, stunt?"

"We did not sneak-" but the woman's face betrayed her guilt.

"Yeah, it's normal procedure to hop a barricade at the precise moment the guard changed," Jane knew a thing or two about sneaking out. She'd even stolen a ship twice.

Helen didn't have to struggle with the corpse long before Jane took pity on the woman; she had an unfair advantage anyway. Genetic enhancements, bone grafting, and a little biotic lifting. Unfortunately, she would still be sore when they got back to base.

"Why the need to sneak out anyway? I'm sure you could have roped anyone into helping you," Jane was under no illusion that the woman had any particular like for her, if anything, the woman looked at her with increasing scrutiny.

"None of them would dare."

"Oh?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Jane understood the sentiment completely.

#fshenko #mass effect fancition #shenko #kaidan alenko #femshep x kaidan #take me home

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totositeetop · 3 years

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mentalhealthandgames · 3 years

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Analysis on Celeste:

Celeste is an Indie 2D platformer developed and published by ‘Extremely OK Games’. Its plot is simpler than the ones of the other two games as it consists of much more gameplay (consisting of platforming) than the other games I am discussing: it’s about a girl whose default name is Madeline who wants to climb a mountain called Celeste Mountain.

Madeline has anxiety, and has to learn breathing techniques to prevent panic attacks. I think this is good because breathing techniques are very useful against panic attacks, and the way they are incorporated in the game means the player can practice them alongside Madeline which might encourage them to use breathing techniques in real life in situations where they may be needed. Although the gameplay mechanic of using the breathing technique to progress is shown to not always be successful, I think this is also important because sometime breathing techniques or other coping mechanisms won’t work. For me, for example I have had many times where breathing techniques have helped me get through my panic attacks more easily and many other times when I’ve been far too overwhelmed to focus on them properly and therefore struggle with the panic attack for longer. The way the game makes the player help Madeline through her panic attacks I think also provokes empathy in the player as it really puts them in her shoes.

The player never finds out the cause of Madeline’s mental health conditions, which I also think is a good thing, because most media shows mental health conditions as caused by severe trauma, and that can be the case, as trauma is seen as a common cause for most mental health problems. However depression and/or anxiety can also be caused by other factors, such as stress, lack of sleep, drug or alcohol abuse or a combination of similar factors or by trauma that isn’t as severe as ones shown in media. There is some discussion in mental health communities of how the idea mostly spread by the media that most people with mental health conditions have developed them as a result of severe trauma can be harmful to people whose mental health conditions developed as a result of other factors. This is because it can make people feel that their mental health problems are not as valid or serious as those of people’s that did develop from severe trauma, which is not the case, as all mental health problems are valid and should be treated seriously. Therefore the fact that the cause of Madeline’s mental health problems is not explained makes it more relatable for more people with mental health conditions and also might bring awareness to people who don’t have mental health problems that they can just be a part of life that developed without any severe trauma as the direct cause.

A main part of the plot is a character who I have seen referred to as either Madeline’s subconscious or the physical representation of her mental health conditions, known as ‘A Part of [Madeline]’ in the game and referred to as Badeline by fans and in game extras. I will refer to her as Badeline simply because it is easier. Badeline consistently attempts to prevent Madeline from completing her climb of Mount Celeste, mocking, chasing and fighting her. In Chapter 6 of the game, Madeline after a talk with her friend Theo (who had taught her the breathing technique), confronts Badeline, saying: “you’re everything I need to leave behind”. Badeline gets aggressive and when Madeline tries to use her breathing exercise Badeline stops it from working and Madeline falls down all the way back to the base of the mountain. There she once again meets a recurring character simply known as Granny, who recommends that Madeline talks to Badeline instead of fighting her, saying “figure out why she’s so scared”. When Madeline finds Badeline again she tries to talk to her, and tries to convince her to join forces. Badeline gets angry and they then start to fight. Badeline then says: “Fine. You win. I guess you don’t need me after all. If you want me to go away, I’ll try.” Madeline replies: “that’s not what I want. I need your help now more than ever. Please. Let’s work together… it’s okay to be scared.” They then hug and recombine into a levelled up version of Celeste who finally is able to finish climbing the mountain (or rather fly through it). “Madeline never “defeats” her anxiety and depression. Though you spend the majority of the trek fighting against and trying to escape [Badeline]—or, rather, her self-loathing and low self-esteem—you ultimately crest the mountain by realizing that mental illness isn’t something you can browbeat into submission. Madeline learns that hating her anxiety and depression only exacerbate their effects. By accepting every facet of her personality, and learning to be kinder to herself, Madeline finally climbs Celeste Mountain. “Creating this game and guiding Madeline through her journey made it obvious to me that acceptance was the only way forward,” Thorson wrote me. We all owe ourselves that kind of realization” (Clarke, 2018). I think this message of acceptance is a very important one. People with mental health conditions spend a lot of their time struggling against their conditions and trying to regain control of their life, but accepting their mental health conditions as part of life can actually make it easier to carry on with their life. This is a message that really resonated with me personally as when I was hearing voices as a result of my psychosis I felt like I was constantly fighting against myself to try and move forward. This ending, of Madeline accepting all of herself, subverts expectations and stereotypes, as most people see mental health something to be pushed down, hidden or beaten.

Maddy Thorson (the creator of Celeste) has said that the game is based on their own experiences with mental health as well as those of their team. “Our top priorities were to tell a story that meant something to us and explore these topics from a individual perspective, to draw players into this world with these characters we grew to love,” Thorson said. “Our intention going in wasn’t to represent mental illness in general, or to make a ‘how to deal with depression’ guide, and we didn’t think to consult professionals on the topic” (Grayson, 2018). This makes the representation feel extremely genuine. The game has been praised by many fans and critics for how relatable its mental health representation is. It is incredibly successful for an Indie game and given that the story is entirely about mental health, this implies that mental health representation that feels genuine and relatable is important for a lot of people. Maddy Thorson, when asked “how many copies has Celeste sold to date?” in an interview from 2019, said: “I don't have an exact up-to-date number, but I know we're coming up on a million copies soon. Which is unbelievable to us” (Marks, 2019). Given that the interview is from 2 years ago, the amount of copies sold is likely past one million by now.

The game is a platformer and was designed to be extremely difficult, but also to give hope and encourage the player not to give up, which I think is echoed in the message as Madeline is shown to be brave for accepting herself and her mental health problems, which is essentially the opposite of giving up. The game also has an ‘assist mode’ which includes motivational phrases such as “you can do this” to encourage the player to keep on going and the difficulty of the game can itself also be seen as trying to represent how difficult struggles with mental health can be. I think the game was made for people with mental health conditions in mind as a large part of the target audience as Maddy Thorson said it was therapeutic to make and clearly shares their own, and their team’s experiences with mental health and so is relatable for a lot of people with mental health conditions. In fact almost every review I read on Celeste also included the reviewer sharing their own mental health experiences and how the game resonated with them.

Overall it is probably the most popular of the games I am discussing and I think that is for a good reason. I found it an incredibly striking and genuine story of struggling with mental health with important messages such as ‘don’t give up’ and ‘self-acceptance is important’. These messages are said often and can be patronising but playing the game and experiencing Madeline’s struggle to accept herself and to manage to achieve her goal while struggling with her mental health makes those phrases feel real and possible to achieve.

References:

Marks, T (2019) Celeste Sequel (Probably) Won’t Happen, Developer Says. Available at:

https://www.ign.com/articles/2019/09/07/celeste-developer-doesnt-want-to-make-a-sequel-new-game-in-the-works (accessed at: 24 February 2021)

Clarke, N (2018) My Biggest Revelations of 2018 Came From an Indie Video Game. Available at:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pa5937/my-biggest-revelations-of-2018-came-from-an-indie-video-gameAccessed at: 24 February 2021)

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