I find it VERY funny that I'm posting abt Alucard on here and he is. Literally my cohost. Bro is always in front. He sees me. He sees you. He sees your replies.
He is laughing as I type this and telling you to fear him and all his knowledge of himself.
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old meme but this is legitimately how I categorize them in my head
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*Sometime after 1475 in hell*
Satan: Yo, Luci, has Vlad Tepes showed up yet? He died like three months ago, and he's not heaven
Lucifer: What? No. He hasn't showed up at all, the fuck do you mean he isn't in heaven?
Satan: Yea, some angel was asking if we had him, because we didn't. There's also like an ungodly amount of souls missing aside from that one. I think there's like over four thousand souls that are also missing as well...
Lucifer: ....There's four thousand souls missing?
Satan: Yes.
Lucifer: Well, I guess we should see what's going down on the Mortal planes than....
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*Dracula doing as Dracula does and devouring his own people*
Lucifer: Ok, who the fuck allowed that to happen? Who the fuck green lit that? Who let Vlad Tepes turn into a goddamn Eldritch abomination??
Satan: I think the humans are calling it a vampire
Lucifer: A vampire? That's what that is? I'm sorry, that still doesn't answer my question of who in the seven layers of hell green lit that thing!!
Satan: We didn't. The blood choose for it happen.
Lucifer: The fuck do you mean the blood chose for it
Satan: Too many people died in one place, and Vlad was too angry to die.
Lucifer: .....God allowed this to happen didn't he? He fucking let this happen, didn't He, the fucking bastard
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I swear to God, this man is too damn fine...Also, that feeling where you're not sure if your attracted to someone, or if you just want to wear their body as a meatsuit.
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the brainrot is taking over me
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