#voting out judges is the best feeling in the world

[qqueenofhades]

my mom and I are watching the DNC right now and she's feeling the energy too. she's excited. she used to split ticket vote but ever since 2016 she's been straight blue and gone even more left. I have hope 💙

The thing that's been so refreshing about the DNC this year (aside from like, them literally murdering Donald Trump for five hours straight on prime time national TV) is that the Democrats have finally taken back the USA FREEDOM message from the Republicans who have monopolized it since AT LEAST 9/11 and before (everyone once more stare hard at Reagan). That has been used to justify even more restrictive assaults on rights and freedoms, fascism and militarism, etc. (For you younguns, the major surveillance bill passed after 9/11 was literally called the Patriot Act). Basically, if you've been waving the American flag and shouting FREEDUM, you're probably a MAGAist, and that has driven a lot of people away from feeling it and the Democrats from using that message, because they didn't really have a good way to counter it.

But now that the Republicans have gone fully off the deep end of militarized fascist theocratic police state in the name of Freedom (somehow?), and Trump snuggles up to the world's worst dictators and shit-talks America all the time and hurts American people, the Democrats have managed to craft an effective and resonant message that no, WE are the party of freedom and American values-- the best and more aspirational values, rather than the well-known shit ones. And judging from the sheer number of Republican and ex-Trump voters/officials speaking at the DNC, that's reaching and persuading non-Democrats and ordinary people who are responding to an uplifting and joyful message (just as they did in 2008) far more than this constant vindictive hateful negativity and violence that is the only thing Trumpworld is capable of putting out. And I think that's very important.

[losersiren]

Yandere! Vault Dweller

N: I just finished the Fallout show, went on YouTube and fell down a rabbit hole of lore about the game. I decided Vault 11 shall be sacrificed (hehe). Everything I put in this fic is from the videos I've watched and the fan wiki, so it's like semi-accurate… Cw: talks about suicide, suicide (not the reader), violence, yandere tendencies, gore(?), death, manipulation, coercion, talks of death, should be gn! reader safe.... if not, put me in the chamber WC: 2.2k

Quiet. It was quiet. The silence is deafening, yet the ringing in your ear grows louder and louder, each second feeling as if eons had passed. The automated computer voice repeats in your head like a catchy song you’ll hear on those dusty records, the ones Mama used to play and dance to.

“Congratulations, citizens of Vault 11! You have made the decision not to sacrifice one of your own. You can walk with your head held high, knowing that your commitment to human life is a shining example to us all. And to make that feeling of pride even sweeter, I have some exciting news. Despite what you were led to believe, the population of Vault 11 is not going to be exterminated for its disobedience. Instead, the mechanism to open the main vault door has now been enabled, and you can come and go at your leisure. But not so fast! Be sure to check with your overseer to find out if it's safe to leave. Here at Vault-Tec, your safety is our number one priority.”

You were young when your parents escaped the bombs to the vault you're situated in right now; you grew up believing that damned computer about sacrifices and watched your fellow vault mates get killed one by one. You waited for the time it would be you in that same chamber. Now, with this information surfaced…they died for what? An experiment? What would have happened if you had been voted overseer…

The lump in your throat grows heavier, and the arguments and yelling in the background become more and more apparent that you can't ignore them anymore. Your eyes drift to the man standing tall and proud beside you, Charli, his hair still somehow slick back; he still looks perfect even after the maddening chaos of events that transpired these past few days. His blue jumpsuit was as crisp as an ironed suit that the actors would wear from the moving pictures on television before the vault. His expression is as vacant as his blue eyes, his soft lips decorated with a barely visible smile. As he watches the other three vault survivors argue, Your brows furrow. 

Why isn’t he affected by the news like everyone else? This information is soul-crushing and life-changing!

Then again, you reason with yourself that maybe this is his way of coping; who are you to judge and microanalysis him like some psycho? Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep or the sense of safety ripped out of your hand like candy stolen from a baby. Heavens, you might nearly flip your lid entirely if something else happens. You sigh. To believe you almost were insinuating that Charli would even be a drop suspicious, and of what, exactly? He saved and shielded you from the massacre that only left the five of you remaining; he was your childhood best friend..how could you? You reprimand yourself.

His eyes finally meet yours, and the sympathy and worry you sought appeared when the blonde saw how distressed you were. “Are you alright?” his soft voice fills your head–drowning out the talks of whether the group should commit suicide in honour of your dead vault men or venture into the outside world to educate others on how your vault was misled. You were somewhat dissociated from the whole conversation. Reasonably so.

His hands, soft yet calloused, turn your head side to side to check for any visible injuries he might’ve missed, which he shouldn’t have—knitted eyebrows and razor-sharp eyes search frantically for anything. 

Charles or… As you’ll call him later in your relationship, Charlie, has always been like this. When you met him, he was a reserved kid, a trait that would carry on from his pubescent to adolescent years. 

When other kids grew out of their shyness and worrisome attitude and eventually adapted to the vault, he was pushed aside. Well, that wouldn’t be the only reason. His father was the first overseer of Vault 11, the same overseer who thought the best course of action was not to tell the vault residents about the sacrificial system they were now to live with. That same choice he made was the reason for his death, and he was the first to test the new system. He wasn’t a good man. He was greedy, a neglectful father and husband, and so on. A family now ruined by one man’s ill-considered decision; Charles's mom wasn’t much better, the textbook definition of a hypocrite. Bad-mouthing her dead husband, the same one she defended when said husband would push his son away.

Most would fear having no one at the end of the world, but it became Charles's life; while everyone adapted to vault life, Charles adapted to the misfortune of the consequences of his old man’s actions. You decided one day to talk to him while others stood clear. It was a simple conversation; others would just brush it off…which he did initially. But after that day, you would constantly seek him out, and with that, you wore a genuine smile and interest every time you talked to him. His walls crumbled into dust for you and only you. You were like a shooting star he wished for. His reputation grew because of you and, with that, his feelings for you sored. You became his way of life. In his teen years, he decided to become the best match for you– He would participate in every extracurricular activity the vault would provide to make him an unstoppable force of a man. The perfect golden boy was made..for you.

He had the “perfect body,” perfect sperm count, unmatched intelligence, and charisma—he perfected them (even if you were the only one he talked to for long periods)—strength, agility, endurance—all of it. He will be everything you need and more. With that, he made sure no one would vote you as overseer…

He was so soft on you that it would rival feathers. Do you need help lifting that? He's already there. Do you need help with your pre-war history? He’ll just sit you down and study with you for hours. Are you bleeding from an accidental cut? Don’t worry he just finished his first aid training. He already had a plan for you both for everything that would happen.

Everything

“I’m fine…” You grab both of his hands gently. “...Well, not fine, fine, but I'm not hurt.” You smile weakly up at him. “It’s okay. You and I will get through this,” He coos, pushing strands of your hair away from your face and behind your ear. His touch is warm and tender, yet the words you hear next aren’t.

“Fuck..I..I can’t do this I’m sorry.” A man, short in stature, starts backing away, gun in hand, clearly distressed. Your eyes move away from Charli’s to your fellow survivor; unknowingly to you, Charli rolls his eyes at the man's “dramatics.”  “We don’t deserve to leave...That thing called us a shiny example..f..f.fucked! Thats fucked! I..I can’t live with that!” Another man says, “Anyone would’ve done what we did.” A woman comments, “You ask me? That's exactly the problem. Now, let’s get on with this.”

“Wait,” you say, stunned, as if he had predicted this would happen. Charles moves his hands to cover your eyes. The short man is first, putting his gun on the roof of his mouth and pulling the trigger, not sparing any more time; the woman is next, the second gunshot. Then, with a sigh and short prayer, the last man repeats the action done by the others. Each lifeless body hits the floor one by one, and then there is silence.

What the hell.

You try to understand the situation, but your brain has yet to catch up…it’s all too much. Charli whispers calming phrases while he shields your eyes with one hand and rubs patterns along your back with the other. Tears start rolling down your face…and you sob. Hard. His hand moves to pet your hair, soothing you while you let it all out of your system.

He moves his body to shield you from the gruesome events that have just taken place; he moves both of his hands and cradles your face. You try looking behind him out of curiosity, but he stops you before you can.”Hey! Look at me with those gorgeous eyes,” He mummers, and of course, you comply. “There we go. You listen to me so well,” he whispers lovingly. “Here’s what we’re going to do. We’ll both go back to my vault room. I have enough supplies for the both of us to survive outside for a while, okay?” He asks you, and you nod, agreeing to whatever he says. 

“I need to hear you say it..” 

“…yes, of course, whatever you think is best.” He smiles at you, thumb caressing your cheek. “Keep your eyes on me, okay?” He takes your hand and leads you through the halls. It's quiet… you don't like it. Your eyes are trained on his back, Charli…he’s your lifebuoy in the angry sea, the only thing keeping you afloat; if it wasn’t for him…you might’ve met your end with the others. As if sensing your inner turmoil, he squeezes your hand, comforting you…and you squeeze back. Your world just fell apart, yet…it doesn’t seem entirely gone with Charli by your side. 

It's only a short time till you reach his vault. You’ve been here so many times it's basically your room by now. The tall blonde turns to look at you. “I’m going to let you go, just for a second, okay..? I just need to get the supplies.” He holds your one hand with both of his– you reply with a soft okay, and with your permission, he starts to move. He moves towards his small desk to grab a small, flat-headed screwdriver, walks to a particular spot, and pops the floor title beneath him, revealing a hidden compartment. It's filled with two modular military backpacks, filled to the bream with necessities for outside the vault.

He was prepared for all of this…

Then he starts talking about what he has in mind for the two of you, settling on the surface of living together and everything. Charles gets lost when talking to you; he can speak his mind about almost anything, and rambling is second nature with you. The hermit turned a social butterfly in your presence.

“You know that computer may have been our downfall, but god did bless me with more information than I could handle…good thing, huh, glad I went through all that code…Vault-tec tried to make it secure, but I found a way...We could go somewhere called New Vegas…” He keeps talking. 

But you stand there, still, as a statue, looking down at him as he gathers everything…What did he just say? 

You think back to the start when killing between the blocs started..he was right there, ready to protect you, when you and the other surviving tested out if the chamber would kill all of you…he almost seemed to be too assured nothing bad would happen to any of you, almost like…no…no. You’re overthinking, right? But the more you listen…

“You knew…” you shakingly exclaim out loud, cutting him off. “Hmm?” He looks up at you as he puts the tile back…” You knew we didn’t need sacrifices…you knew it would play out like this…” you say louder and more confidently. Those once-homey blue eyes become cold and distant… analyzing you.  

You both stare at each other.

You turn and run.

 But your efforts are in vain; you don’t even leave the room before two muscular arms wrap around behind you, overtaking you, holding your arms down around your waist, dragging you back. You scream and kick with no success. You end up with his arms around you while he sits down, his back against the wall, and you in front of him with his head in your neck while you let it all out. “When?” you croak out, “When we were fifteen, I didn’t want you to become overseer…I didn’t want you to die..so I wondered if it was the computer that sent signals to kill whoever was sent in that chamber and wondered if I could stop it from killing you specifically; that's when I found out .” He answers swiftly and truthfully, “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” You question, “I didn’t care, honestly, the only thing that matters is you…If everyone died in the process, it would be less work for me…I wanted it to be us from the beginning, anyway. I want you to need me as much as I need you…and now you finally do.”  

You feel weak and sick to your stomach… All your peers would’ve ended up dead either way. “I want to leave.” he hums, not mocking you but in acknowledgment. “And do what? You don’t know how to defend yourself; you have no supplies prepared, barely any survival instincts, and you don’t even know any information on the surface above. You can leave, but you’ll die…I can’t let that happen, sorry.” Charles buries himself more into you. 

“I hate you,” You whisper.

“That’s okay…all that matters is that you're here…with me and only me… I’ll keep you safe and sound.”

N: This was a long one, whew! I had to think about how I could make a Yandere fic with Fallout, and I had tons of concepts, but this one stood out the most. I hope my execution was good enough....Anyway, my next fic will most likely be a jealous fic about my Yandere lord, so stay tuned! Till then! see you soon my little guppies (´꒳`)♡ extra note: Throughout writing this, I thought "My Way of Life by Frank Sinatra" would fit Charli perfectly.

[hollyoongs]

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮

"Nothing will ever come between us 'Cause i'll be standing right next to you"

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: non idol boyfriend!jay and fem!reader 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: SURPRISE MY POOKIE (a.k.a @glitterjay)! This is a little late, but some of your moots decide to surprise you with this gift...

💌 𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀 [𝟓] @st4rwon: congrats on hitting 1k c!! you definitely deserve it 🤍 i absolutely love all your works and am so proud to see that they are being appreciated ! keep up the amazing work :) @hollyoongs: this drabble is for… jupi! I'm so glad I can have such a nice and lovely friendship with you and to be present in this big milestone, you deserve it so much and tbh I can't wait to see what the future holds to you, such an amazing, wonderful and incredible human being, congrats my 5'7 jupi! 💟 @kwiwin: Hey C! Congrats on reaching 1k, it's freaking awesome how so many people recognize real talent out there. Even if we've been moots for just a little time I am proud of you and what you have achieved! Keep stunning the world with your (beautifully written) stories ♡ @heeslut4life: hi c! congrats on hitting 1k!! i’m so proud of you<3 you’ve done so goddamn well, you have amazing fics and you are an amazing person:) i know we don’t really interact a lot but i hope you know that i wish nothing but the best for you💗 keep going, you’re such beautiful and wonderful person<33

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 2: this is also a short drabble and you will definitly find some stuff here ;), HAPPY MILESTONE! 𝘄.𝗰: +1.8k

"And the first place, being voted on by 1128 judges, goes to..." 

And then your name was announced with your university, making you stand up after a few seconds of shock.

As you walked up to the podium, the weight of the moment settled on your shoulders like a comforting embrace. You couldn't believe it—your name, your university, Decelis Academy, being called out as the winner. It felt surreal, like a dream you never dared to have. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring the faces of the cheering crowd into a colorful mosaic of joy and pride.

Glancing at your friends, their beaming faces illuminated by the glow of their phones capturing this momentous occasion, you felt a surge of gratitude. They had been with you through it all—the late nights, the doubts, and the struggles. And now, here you were, basking in the spotlight of recognition.

"Jay, look at your girl!" one of your friends shouted amidst the cheers, drawing your attention to the sea of faces. You couldn't help but smile and offer a small wave to the camera, feeling a rush of affection for your supportive circle. They had been your pillars of strength, propelling you forward even when you felt like giving up.

Reaching the podium, you accepted the prize with trembling hands, the weight of it sinking in with each passing moment. More than a thousand people had chosen your work and had seen its value and its impact. It was a humbling realization, one that filled you with a sense of purpose and determination to continue pushing the boundaries of your craft and enjoying it while doing it.

After the ceremony, the celebrations began in earnest.

The celebrations continued long into the night, transitioning seamlessly from the pulsating energy of the dance floor to the intimate ambiance of a lavish dinner party. Your friends, ever the consummate hosts, had spared no expense in creating a feast fit for royalty. The dining table, adorned with flickering candles and delicate floral arrangements, beckoned you and your friends to indulge in a culinary symphony of flavors.

As you settled into your seats, the clinking of glasses and the gentle hum of conversation filled the air, setting the stage for an evening of heartfelt camaraderie and celebration.

"So, my dear," one of your friends began with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Tell us, what's next for the illustrious winner of the Decelis Academy? Any plans to conquer the world?"

You laughed, the sound bubbling up from deep within you like a spring of joy. "Oh, you know me," you replied with a playful grin. "I've always been a dreamer. And now, with this recognition, who knows what the future holds? The world might just have to brace itself for what's to come."

The table erupted into laughter, each of your friends offering words of encouragement and excitement for the journey ahead. They had seen you weather the storms, witnessed the unwavering determination in your eyes, and now they reveled in the triumph of your success.

"I have no doubt that you'll conquer whatever comes your way," another one of your friends chimed in, her voice laced with genuine admiration. "You're a force to be reckoned with, my dear, and I couldn't be prouder to call you my friend."

Touched by their words, you raised your glass in a silent toast, the clinking sound echoing through the room like a symphony of celebration. In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of friendship and the promise of tomorrow, you felt a profound sense of gratitude wash over you.

"To dreams realized and journeys yet to unfold," you declared, your voice tinged with emotion. "Thank you, all of you, for being a part of this incredible journey. I couldn't have done it without each and every one of you by my side."

The sentiment was met with nods of agreement and murmurs of affection, a tangible reminder of the bond that held you all together. As the evening wore on and the laughter flowed freely, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment settle in your heart—a feeling that, no matter what the future held, you would always have these cherished moments and these cherished friends to light the way.

As the night wound down and the last revelers bid their farewells, your friends exchanged knowing glances and shared secretive smiles. "Come on, let's take you home," they said, linking arms with you as they guided you towards your apartment. 

The car trip to your apartment was a whole carpool karaoke, playing your favorite songs and making the night more magical than it already was. There was only one thing missing, and it was your boyfriend.

Jay and you were a couple for three years already, both meeting at university by a mutual friend, who clicked almost immediately. From the moment your eyes met, there was an undeniable spark, a magnetic pull drawing you closer together. His presence illuminated your world, and his smile lit up even the darkest of days. In his arms, you found solace, warmth, and an unwavering sense of belonging. Jay was not just handsome and intelligent; he was the embodiment of kindness, his gestures tender and sincere, and his words a soothing melody that danced through your soul. With him, you felt like you had won the grandest of lotteries, for in his embrace, you found not just love but the truest essence of romance.

But the only problem was his usual business trips with his dad to help the company that owns Mr. Park, which you understood. You were okay with him not being there because he was always present, but it was hard not to feel sad about it.

As you stepped out of the car and approached your apartment building, a wave of exhaustion washed over you, mingling with the residual excitement of the evening's festivities. You bid your friends goodnight with hugs and promises to meet up again soon, feeling grateful for their unwavering support and the unforgettable memories you had shared, but being slightly weirded out by their suspicious smiley faces.

As you entered your apartment, the familiar surroundings enveloped you like a warm embrace, wrapping you in a cocoon of comfort. The gentle glow of lamplight cast soft shadows across the room, imbuing the space with a sense of tranquility that was both soothing and welcoming.

With a contented sigh, you kicked off your shoes and made your way towards your bedroom, eager to sink into the welcoming embrace of your bed and let the events of the day wash over you like a gentle tide. But as you pushed open the door, a gasp escaped your lips, and your heart skipped a beat.

There, standing in the center of the room, was Jay, your boyfriend, looking every bit the epitome of charm and sophistication in his sleek black suit. His eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement and adoration as he held out a big bouquet of white tulips, their delicate petals swaying gently in the air. No wonder your friends were smiling like that.

"Jay? What are you doing here?" You exclaimed, your voice a mixture of surprise and delight. You couldn't believe your eyes—just moments ago, you had resigned yourself to the fact that he was miles away, attending to his father's business affairs. And yet, here he was, standing before you like a vision come to life.

With a smile that melted your heart, Jay stepped forward, his eyes alight with warmth and affection. "I couldn't stay away any longer," he confessed, his voice a soft whisper that sent shivers down your spine. "I wanted to be here to celebrate with you, to share in this moment of joy and triumph."

Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you struggled to find the words to express the overwhelming rush of emotion coursing through you. "But I thought you were..."

"Surprise," Jay interjected, his smile widening into a grin that tugged at the corners of his lips. "I wanted to make this night even more special for my sunshine, to show you just how much you mean to me."

With trembling hands, he offered you the bouquet of tulips, their sweet fragrance filling the air with a heady perfume that made your head spin. "To the sun I rotate to," he said, his voice filled with tenderness as you laugh. "To celebrate your incredible achievement and to remind you of the beauty and grace that you bring into my life every single day."

Overwhelmed by his gesture, you reached out and took the flowers, holding them close to your heart as if they were the most precious treasure in the world. "Thank you," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "Thank you for being here and for being a part of this moment with me."

But Jay wasn't done yet. With a playful twinkle in his eye, he gestured towards the bed, where a small pile of gifts lay waiting, wrapped in elegant paper and adorned with ribbons and bows.

"I couldn't come empty-handed," he said with a grin. "I wanted to shower you with tokens of my love and admiration, to show you just how proud I am of everything you've accomplished."

With trembling fingers, you reached for the nearest gift and began to unwrap it, your heart pounding in anticipation of what lay hidden beneath the layers of paper. And as you peeled back the wrapping, revealing the contents within, your breath caught in your throat, and tears of joy welled up in your eyes once more.

Inside was a beautiful necklace, delicate and intricate in design, its sparkling gems catching the light and casting a mesmerizing rainbow of colors across the room. It was a work of art, a testament to Jay's impeccable taste and his unwavering devotion to you.

"Oh, Jay!" you exclaimed, your voice barely above a whisper. "It's…it's beautiful."

But he wasn't finished yet. With a smile that made your heart skip a beat, he reached for another gift, presenting it to you with a flourish that made you giggle like a schoolgirl.

"And there's more where that came from," he teased, his eyes dancing with mischief. "But you'll have to wait and see."

"I need to kiss you so bad." You didn't wait too much; Jay did that for you. His hand being placed on his waist and the other one moving some strings of hair from your face, lips connecting with yours in a tender kiss, you missed each other so badly that you could feel other hearts from that simple action.

As you separate, he touches your forehead softly with his eyes close as you feel the warmth of his love.

"Remember that I don't care about how far I am or what I'm doing; I'll drop anything for you, darling."

And as you stayed there, surrounded by the warmth and love of the man who meant more to you than words could ever express, you knew that this night would be one you would cherish forever—a night of love that knew no bounds.

[cloveroctobers]

FEBRUARY FLUFF — CARMY BERZATTO.

A/N: so carmy won this time around!!! Thanks to all those that voted and ultimately made this decision for me lol. Hope you guys enjoy this and have a safe, healthy, and happy love season 🩷 + yes this is a mixture of fluff and angst...i mean come on! I wouldn't be me if i didn't include that in here somewhere!

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 1. “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.” “What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?”  + always giving the other the first bite of their food < or the last.

WARNINGS/SN: I wrote with a black or brown reader in mind although reader isn't physically described + they’re given a name only when mentioned, language is a thing here duh!, this is LENGTHY, lots of timelines: reader + nat became friendly before season 1 during the summer prior to 7 fishes which is estimated to be five years before season 2, reader knows of carmy due to past work, I feel like she can be just a few year(s) older than carmy but younger than nat—there’s a age gap for the Berzatto’s anyways, sexual relations are mentioned, this piece takes place months after the grand opening, & finally there’s a possible chance for a poly relationship or maybe just multiple crushes going on? Take that how you will.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

it was a Sunday.

The kind of Sunday you woke up embarrassed about but knew you had to swallow your pride and just send out that text. You knew you wouldn’t be judged regardless reaching out to Fak because he’s built to deal with things like this and never made you feel like shit about anything.

You usually had to squeeze it out of him to get him to lay out any cons about a situation but appreciated most times when he didn’t. Your minds been going haywire with a recent assignment as a food journalist and it really slipped your mind, although you were usually a quick thinker, you’ve been stressed over this recent restaurant. Thankfully it clicked for you after throwing a tantrum to simply reach out to Fak to come help you out.

The stupid lever in your bathroom decided to stop flushing on you and of course you panicked. Who wouldn’t panic in a situation like that? You no longer had a roommate and strongly debated if you even wanted to search for another; after the shady actions of the previous one, so you really didn’t have to worry about them giving you shit either. (Let’s see if your rent feels the same next month!)

It was just you in the end and perhaps you were learning to be okay with that.

Yet that didn’t stop you from FaceTiming Sydney about it. “Hey Siddy, how’s your day going?”

“Pretty good, yours?” She politely asked as she moved down the hallway of her shared apartment to prop her phone on the pedestal sink, moving around her functioning bathroom to grab some oil to grease her scalp.

Smacking your lips you glare, “it fucking sucks.”

“Oh?” Sydney questioned, appearing back in frame, “what happened? Did someone egg and scratch up your car again after a review you gave them? Noo wait, don’t tell me there’s a bullet hole?!”

That was light work compared to New York (it really wasn’t a competition of which state had its worst moments but your home state left you kinda triggered, not gonna lie!) where you were just starting off and those that were in tune with the culinary world didn’t take your words with a grain of salt. Most nights you still woke up gasping for air, reaching for your throat due to some trauma of a break in from a well-known nepo-baby chef. Don’t get that twisted, your mom didn’t raise no punk but that didn’t mean those events didn’t mess with your mental and you acknowledged that every time you had a nightmare. They only served three years and five months compared to the original five year sentence.

Ah the system…got to love how that works out for the privileged!

You shrugged, “no…the threats have been pretty tame lately so I can give myself a pat on the back for that. However! I still am in a crisis.”

Sydney begins to move her braids around to expose her scalp, “Elaborate for me.”

“My toilet won’t flush!” You whine, laying flat on your messy bed. You tended to not make your bed on Saturdays and didn’t get around to making it today—although it was after 3pm.

Sydney asks, “Like the waste won’t go down…?”

“Exactly!” You confirm throwing your arm over your eyes dramatically, “The lever thing is moving like my old dislocated shoulder.”

Sydney gags, “don’t fucking remind me of that day. That was spooky to witness but I am glad you healed from that.”

“Thanks girl, means a lot, truly.”

Sydney gives a small smile, “don’t mention it…have you considered YouTubing it? That’s what I do when I don’t want to ask anyone for help and figure it out by myself.”

You hummed knowing this was true. In a sense you could be like that too, especially when it came to the working field, since writers can tend to be some nasty bitches and always in rivalry with each other. You made a name for yourself in Chicago as well, coming from New York where you worked just as hard-maybe even harder than the rest to mean and write exactly how you felt about cuisine, regardless if anyone agreed or not. It wasn’t about if people liked you, the relationship with food would always be more significant and hold value in your life, just like the rest of these chef’s you encountered and you got that, people were allowed to be sensitive about their work. You’ve come toe to toe with many chef’s around the world who didn’t like your take on their craft but that didn’t mean you didn’t understand them. They hardly took the time to really dive into your ratings and automatically took it as you shit talking or not having any idea what you were saying since you “weren’t really a chef,” but you knew your worth most days.

Yes you could be straight forward but that didn’t mean you lacked compassion like some chef’s liked to think according to your reviews. You often wrote in a way that was puzzling to some, almost philosophical or riddle like with your own twist. Some just didn’t get it and that was okay but you wouldn’t back down from any confrontation. The second they didn’t want to really listen, that’s when you removed yourself from the escalating problem. It didn’t have to get violent like some wanted to inflict.

“Why didn’t I think of that?!” You exasperated, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead.

Sydney snorted, “maybe because you’re under a lot of pressure lately and the most simplest of things don’t come as easily as they should.”

“You would think I have high blood pressure with the way these past two weeks have been.”

Sydney says, “give it time.”

“Gee, thanks! That’s exactly the kind of shit I want to hear from you.” You roll your eyes at the blurt of words that commonly escaped the braided girl’s mouth.

Sydney breathes out a laugh, “I’m just joking!”

“Yeah, yeah! Maybe I should text fak back and tell him not to come by!”

“You asked fak instead of the apartment manager?” Sydney is in amazement.

“Fuck that noise, he’s so full of shit that he should see a doctor about it. He’ll show up to analyze the problem, then acts like he’s going to fit you into the schedule and then when you catch him in the lobby he pretends that he has amnesia.” You commented with a scowl.

You get ready to minimize the call to text fak but some obnoxious knocks at the door made you pop up from your bed. “That was fast!”

Hopping up from the bed and padding out of the last bedroom in the apartment, you made the journey through the foyer to the awaiting black front door. Peeking through the peephole you spot Fak grinning widely up into it, almost making you jump back.

“He’s made it Siddy! I’ll call you back!”

“K. Good luck!” Sydney calls out before you end the call to pull the door wide open.

“Neil!” You scream, quickly latching onto his tatted wrist ready to yank him in until you notice someone else is with him, “…why is he here?” You point.

Fak quickly glances over at a brimmed Carmy who raised a brow at him in a silent told you so manner, “I mean we were having a boy’s day when you called and I didn’t want my buddy to be left out. Plus, it’s always great to have some assistance.”

“…i find it hard to believe that Carmen wants to fix my toilet.” You cross your arms, poking out your hip as you stare at him.

Carmen shrugs his shoulders, “I wanted to wait in the car if it makes you feel any better.”

“Hmm…it doesn’t.”

Carmy rolls his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose briefly in agitation, “you know what, fak you’ve got this right? I know you do so—

“Nope!” Fak quickly interrupts, “this maybe a two person job so aspie if you just let us do what we came to do—

Shooting an arm out to block the doorway you peer into Fak’s dark teal eyes to show you mean business, “didn’t I say I dislike that nickname, Neil?”

He nods.

“Also i find it offensive that you brought an uninvited guest to my place.”

“Just be glad it wasn’t Richie because that was also a possibility before he ran off to pick up the kid.” Carmy snaps making you roll your eyes.

If Richie was here you been would have slammed the door in both Fak and his face. Sure you had some sort of tension with Carmy and beef with .......his cousin but at least Carmy only gave it back to you when he had the energy to—meaning if he was already on one. The issue was simple, you wrote a not so nice review once before when the eldest berzatto, Michael was alive and running the joint. Richie couldn’t forget that and actually kept the clipping, yes the clipping of the review way back when. He had the receipts to show Carmy and Carmy actually brushed it off then, not seeming to really care or doubt some of the words that were said.

He came to revamp the place because Mikey left it for him, to fix the mess his big brother left behind, to create what they’ve always dreamed of. Sure he got shit for it in the beginning and part of him felt like maybe that was your case too? He could relate to you on that, yet the weight was slightly different on his part and he even spoke with you not long after he found those tomato cans.

That gave him a certain push he couldn’t really explain. He may have done a brief dive on you, wondering why you felt acquainted to him—completely forgetting about seeing you once around Noma—choosing to start with reading previous reviews by you on other restaurants here in Chicago and a few interviews you’ve done over the world. You weren’t just some nobody, you held your titles well and it reflected in your work.

You weren’t clueless.

He just didn’t really know what he was dealing with until a short time ago.

What he didn’t expect was for you to show up again on opening night with a certain head chef, also from New York. That made carmy more anxious than anything, seeing you sitting beside that four eyed fuck ready to set off a tornado in the heart of the bear. Was that your motive all along? With carmy attempting to build a bridge, not for you to kiss his ass with praise but there was a odd need to have a simple conversation with you. It was weird but it seemed like Sydney, Fak, and Nat liked you?

The jury was still out with the rest—except Richie but you were a mystery to Carmy. However carmy wasn’t the best at putting a read on people or their emotions in the first place, he was good at fucking that up unless you’re screaming it into his face. That’s just how he operated.

“You two can come in—only because I don’t have the patience with the manager here and Neil’s the best I’m gonna get.” You state while fak slaps a hand on his chest.

“That was really sweet, Aspen.” Fak cooed ready to pull you into a bone crushing hug but you hold up a finger.

“Save the hugs until after you fix my problem.”

“You got it boss,” Fak salutes before diving under your arm to travel through your apartment, ooo-ing and ah-ing before finding the bathroom around the corner from the living room.

Sighing you drop your arm and wave carmy through, who keeps his view straight while traveling through the hallway. You call out to him, “you can have a seat on the couch.”

“What? Did you drop a load or something and is that the real reason why you don’t want me to help Fak?” Carmy comes right out with it, nose twitching in amusement after whipping around to face you in the center of the living room.

See…only when he’s frustrated or overly focused will he just let it out. Some may look at this as Carmy attempting to make a joke but you took that somewhat personally. The only thing you were thinking after he said this was: What an ego on this one huh?

You stop on your heels and tilt your head to the side, “are you telling me that you think women or fem pronoun users don’t take shits? Do you know what it feels like to have period shits?”

Carmy blinks at you and shouts with his hands out, “I...don't even know what the fuck you're getting at? I wasn't even trying to be sexist to you just then! I asked you a honest question—

“About you being in my business,” you pointed out, “contrary to your beliefs I have a heart and decided to be nice to you and let you stay in my place to keep warm. You’re welcome!”

“Oh bullshit, don’t act like you’re doin’ me any favors.” Carmy scowls, “you don’t even want me here.”

You shrug, “yet you’re here in my apartment, yelling.”

Carmy exhaled while you smirked at him sweetly before turning to lean against the wall that leads to the bathroom.

“Everything okay in there, Neil?”

“Oh yeah!” He says, “I think I figured out the problem. Easy peasy!”

“Great!” You exclaim, pulling your phone out from your sweats to read a very important email.

The weight of stress seemed to lift a good chunk as you quickly responded to a email that you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been invited out (squeezed in) to a taste test at this restaurant for this evening that you’ve been trying to get into for a month before you brought it up to your employer. The deadline was approaching for the end of this week to have a review ready and they just responded to you five days before that deadline! Reading over it twice, the squeal in you slipped through your smile until you read the exceptions.

If you were to go over the amount of food purchased, which you would put on the company card anyways, you can get a discount if you brought a plus one and some reimbursement if the review was satisfactory to the owners—which the last part wasn’t unfamiliar to you.

You usually didn’t bring a plus one to any of the places you did reviews for, you got comfortable doing outings all on your own but this was different. Sure you were somewhat known in the culinary world but that didn’t mean you were a millionaire and this restaurant was apparently upscale. There was a waiting list regardless of your status—even for the celebrities that went there so this was a big deal and they gave you a short notice. Usually Sundays were known for a reset for the week but what better way to start it?

You don’t go forward with reaching out to anybody else that you work with. This was your battle and you were aware that two of your other co-workers also reached out to this restaurant. You just hoped you were the only one they picked and wouldn’t miss out on the great opportunity just because you weren’t sure about your guest.

A few hours before show time and you had to find somebody to attend with you. Your best friend was away in Cabo for a honeymoon, the other (who recently planned on moving to ATL) was dealing with the flu and had their no good ex boyfriend taking care of them, Sydney was suddenly MIA, and you even considered inviting Natalie Berzatto to piss carmy off just a bit.

“Hey, Nat!” You greet into the phone as you walk into the kitchen, witnessing Carmy perk up from the couch.

It’s small talk at first: you asking about how her day is going as a mom to be, if she’s going to be at the bear tomorrow, did she watch the Emmy’s the other night, tell her husband you said hello, and then finally if she had plans for tonight.

“…are you asking me to hang out?”

“We had fun at that club way back when no?”

“Yeah! But that was how long ago?”

You knew it’s been awhile. You were always friendly with Natalie, meeting her first—well second out of the siblings down at the small mart one summer you helped out at that your great-uncle owned. She was huffing about something her boyfriend at the time, Pete forgot to bring her and some groceries she was picking up for her mom. You were cool enough to become Facebook friends, exchange numbers, go out for coffee and go to the club together. This wasn’t unusual to call each other randomly but you knew she commonly got shit from Michael and Richard about her talking and hanging out with you.

The thing about Natalie Berzatto is that she always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes she saw your review yet she kinda laughed about it initially but it was all fuck you’s from the other two loud mouth’s. Of course she was going to listen to her brother but she still had a mind of her own. she didn’t care to listen to Richie go off but she understood how Michael felt, although she was the only other Berzatto that heard you out.

Except you didn’t owe anybody an explanation even if some felt you were more cutthroat in your younger years.

“...Before you and Pete even thought about marriage?”

You were younger than them but you imagined how it would always work out for Nat and Pete, which included growing old together.

“Wow! Yeah that sounds right.”

“So…?”

“Can’t do it.”

“You didn’t even hear all the details!”

“I know, I know and it sounds like it’ll be a real fucking blast but if this kid wasn’t sitting on my sciatic nerve constantly and if my feet weren’t the size of two honeydews…I totally would! But I’ll have to decline this time around—so please don’t hate me!”

“I could never!”

“You know you could always ask carmy-

“Why on earth would I do that?” Your reply was instant.

Natalie sighed over the phone, “aspen…the potential of friendship and love is a beautiful thing.”

You scrunched up your face at the phone before placing it back to your ear.

“Do you want me to hang up on you?”

“I’d call you a rude bitch if you did but then get over it.”

“I can live with that because I know it’s real love between you and I.”

“…whatever that means.”

“Right.”

You both laugh, knowing just how weird the subject of love can be. Although you didn’t talk all the time it was always okay for one of the other to drop a venting text or call each other’s way and know the other would get around to responding. The both of you may not be the best of friends but you did consider each other friends regardless. There were conversations between the both of you that no one knew about and would be a constant reminder of what kind of friends the both of you would remain.

Natalie wished things could have been resolved between you and Michael but she reassured that the dislike wasn’t as deep as it seemed. There was no secret that you felt awful about how his life ended and being there for nat during that time also meant a lot. She told you that one of the last conversations she had with Michael was about you and it felt as if he was learning to let go of your review, slowly taking in Nat’s words of you not having a cruel bone in your body especially with all that you’ve done for her.

Anybody that showed his sister true friendship couldn’t be complete garbage. As much as he tolerated Pete, Michael was always aware that he was good enough for his sister. They were all cut from different cloths and the Berzatto’s were just from the same but opposite corner’s.

Natalie telling you this was not to erase any worries you had since that is always brought to the surface when someone you’ve been face to face with before decides to end it all. It was to show you that nobody ever truly knows what anyone is thinking whether there is love there or not.

You can feel Natalie smiling through the phone, “Think about it…all that tension could be smoothed out if you extend the olive branch…now it’s your turn.”

“It’s not my fault he switched up on me after your opening night.” You didn’t lower your voice or make it louder but you were definitely staring at carmy now who was side eyeing you, looking like phineas from phineas and ferb.

“That’s something you need to talk to him about, don’t you think?” Her tone was always so gentle that it made you sick sometimes because she could be right.

“I’m not here to do think pieces.”

“…aren’t you a writer?”

“Have a good night, nat.”

“Ta-Ta!” Natalie sing-songs, “be sure to send me the deets later because carmy never tells me anything! Bye! Chat later!”

Hanging up the phone, you slide it onto the counter and tap your nails against the island. To the right of you, you pick up on some clinking in the bathroom—which sounds somewhat normal and zone in on carmy who’s also holding onto his phone but staring at the blank tv in thought.

“Hey, Carmen.” You call his name.

His bright blues turn to you as if he hasn’t been eavesdropping on your conversation here and there between his texts with Marcus.

“You. Me. The Saffron Simmer. 7pm.”

The air is frigid as the both of you hunch your shoulders shoving through Chicago’s winter. Shockingly the streets are filled with cars tonight so you had to park on the next street over before walking up and around to The Saffron Simmer. Carmy offered to drive, which was a debate—no shock there—since there was no way he was leaving the bear stock van behind for no license having fak to play around in.

Fak definitely found that offensive and said he didn’t mind hanging out at your place, being done with your toilet but with the look you sent him he said he’s find an Uber or fak2 can pick him up. It’s not like you didn’t trust fak in your place…it’s just that the possibilities of what he can get into are endless.

You also didn’t want to ride in the bear’s van not because of shallow reasons, you just wanted to annoy carmy just a bit more for fun. Walking mostly everywhere was the way to go growing up in New York and Carmy working there so doing so here in Chicago wasnt foreign either. However with the type of cold here in this city is enough to give the bravest of hearts hypothermia. So obviously driving was the best option, it’s just the petty back and forth between you two of who will drive had to be spewed.

Eventually you gave in and sat in the passenger side of the van, being on DJ duty for the twenty-five minute drive—something carmy didn’t care to argue over. The both of you made it on time, throwing the door back for carmy to catch then bouncing on your toes while he blew into his gloveless hands waiting on the greeter to find your reservation.

The pictures didn’t do The saffron simmer any justice. There was so much to look at with its modernized speakeasy décor and the high ceilings did a superb job of making the both of you feel small in the spacious space. Thankfully the dress code was business casual so you didn’t have to go all out but you still put in the effort of looking your best in simple attire. You’re shrugging out of your scarf, earmuffs, and puffer coat while Carmy is already seated; with only the removal of his cap across from you in a chair.

He’s watching you as you place everything neatly to the right of you before you're taking a seat in the leather oversized chair, then digging through your tote to pull out your notepad, Sony camera, phone, and bolt pen. You quickly scribble something on the first line and circle it before dropping your pen.

Rolling the sleeves of your long sleeves back underneath your blazer, you roll your shoulders with a close of your eyes before opening them with a look of determination.

“Wow, that was something.” Carmy tells you, making you set your eyes back on him, forgetting just that quick that he was your plus one.

Clasping your hands together you quirk up a brow, “What?”

“Watching you prep.”

You dip your head, “should have seen me before I got dressed…much worse.”

A smirk appears on the corner of Carmy’s lips, “oh yeah?”

“Well yes, I can contain myself in public, Carmen. Your home is supposed to be your safe space so that’s the best place to go a little crazy sometimes.” You inform, yet still not giving too much away.

“Why are you in your head about this place anyway?” Carmy peers around the slightly filled dining area before meeting your eyes once more.

You lift your shoulders, “have you seen the way they market this place? Giving not too much away although it’s top ten restaurants here and I can either contribute to its success or its downfall. They picked me for a reason so my review matters at the end of this year.”

“But you uh-get a thrill out of this shit don’t you? It’s what you signed up for, right?” Carmy is actually relaxed against the chair across from you.

Which is a sight to see.

You state, “it’s part of the job, if that’s what you mean.”

Carmy blinks and seems to get it, “and so you stay.”

“So I stay.” You echo while holding his stare, which is broken by a piece of the stone table lifting and showcasing the menu illuminated by sepia lighting in the dark of the restaurant.

Carmy’s bright eyes are wide as he stares at the menu that appears right in front of your faces. There’s a grin on your face as you rest your fingertips around its rough edges, almost as if you were expecting this while carmy blows out a breath.

“The hell is this place?”

You peek over at him, “some next level shit, berzatto.”

“Yeah…I think I’m starting to catch on.”

You turn your attention back to the menu, swiping your fingertips along the touch screen although you’ve heard things about the menu, which they kept offline since apparently it renews monthly.

“What looks good?”

“Uh…these pages aren’t even labeled." Carmy exhales through his nose, eyes searching all over the tablet, "I have no clue. You?”

The words come at ease for you, "One of almost everything maybe?”

“Sounds good...I guess?”

“On me by the way,” you state with a wink as you flash your company card.

“I’ll get the tip then.” Carmy pats his jeans, the left containing his carton of cigarettes, the right holding his keys, lifting his hips he checks for his wallet although he’s been sitting on his behind for about ten minutes now.

You don’t argue with that, eyes in awe at the selection of items as you start ordering, “don’t forget to order your drink.”

“Water should be fine,” Carmy mutters to himself, eyes scanning over the first strange title of water that is described as flower and ginger infused purified water and decides to go with that.

You finally express after rapidly letting your fingers go over the screen and taking a picture with your phone, “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.”

It sounded so easy to you as you quickly shifted to pick up your pen and start writing notes.

“What was that?” Carmy pressed his elbows into the edge of the table, making sure he heard you right since he’s not even sure if he can trust his inner thoughts lately.

You’re still scribbling but also turning your face towards the messy haired chef, “you heard me. We have to act like we’re in a relationship because I’ve definitely went over the budget on the card.”

“That’s not really my problem?”

“Yes it is,” you demand, “you agreed to be my plus one so that’s that. Plus this menu further confirmed my suspicions from the email.”

Carmy scratches at his brow confused, “what are you talking about, aspen?”

“Here,” you swipe across your screen towards Carmy’s device, which brings up another screen instantly to carmy who’s in awe but scans over the details.

You didn’t share the email with him but he’s heard about how high tech this restaurant is but didn’t have the time to do his own research.

*Significant others in attendance are subject to applicable discounts.*

Carmy feels his stomach cramp at the fine print and it so small that he was sure anyone could have missed that.

Not you.

“…how exactly are we supposed to prove that, hm?” He's gripping at his greasy hair now, feeling himself getting a bit worked up about this.

You fanned your hand along, “just do what couples do and follow my lead...Depending on our witnesses,” you whisper as you look around, “they could always assume that’s what we are anyways.”

Part of carmy didn’t like how that came off.

“What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” Flies out of Carmy’s mouth before he can even process what he’s saying.

That stoops you too, making you press your back against the chair in thought. That wouldn’t be going down in the notes, as you stare at the pen in between your fingers for a moment. Which brings you back to Carmy’s tatted fingers first that touched you in ways that romance novelist craved to write about.

So you may have left that out, how a shared conversation about the “heartless” review of then Chicagoland turned the bear melted into hot and heavy actions in the front seat of your Mazda. It hits you in those same flashes you take of dishes: the unsure sloppy kisses, you taking the lead to get Carmy to just touch you, shaky hands that trace the tattoo from your rib cage down to your hip before soon holding steady and angled just right beneath your red tapered trousers.

“Where did that come from?” You question just as a server greets you, delivering drinks and announcing the small plates should be out in the next five minutes with a timer appearing on both of the stone tablets.

Carmy says, “you—you didn’t just think I forget right?”

“Well I was hoping.” You were honest, “neither of us are ready for relationships—especially hearing about you and Claire.”

Carmy felt his eye twitch, “and how do you know about that?”

Sydney.

You wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that although you could tell carmy already knew.

“I have my resources but don’t think I’ve been asking around about you or anything like that.” You sipped at the raspberry mint cocktail, it could be stronger.

His thumbs are shaking first on the table top but his icy stare made your chest pulsate in a way you didn't particularly like, “…would that be so bad?”

You and carmy didn’t exactly know each other well enough besides a conversation once had and with his hand down your pants! and you trying to get him to crash, clothes still on right in the center of his lap—It was a spur of the moment hookup and you could tell it was not something that happened often for carmy. He never had time for it or bothered to get attached but there was something about you that had him thinking otherwise. What was supposed to be a one time thing that you swept to the back of your mind was being brought up again.

The annoyance overtook what that feeling brought in the front seat of your ride. You weren’t ignoring carmy after that but the both of you had a lot on your plate with him renovating a restaurant and you diving back into your own work. Both fields of work seemed to matter more and not once did you think he ever thought about you in that way.

Communication was important people!

And here you thought he wanted nothing to do with you, especially with you showing up to the grand opening of The Bear. Now here you were months later, basically at your benefit, face to face hearing only pieces of what Carmen Berzatto was thinking.

“Hey, guys!” A familiar voice gathers your attention and you both turn to see Sydney smiling at you two.

Carmy widens his eyes, “Syd, what’re you doing here?”

Sydney snorted, “doing the same thing you’re doing? Having dinner.”

“Right.” He lightly shakes his head.

“Oh my god…am I interrupting this um? Date?” Sydney quickly connected the dots eyeing the both of you back and forth while you’re choking on your drink, “you okay?”

She pats your back for you while you gasp and Carmy slides over his water your way although you have your own glass near by. Gaining some air, you swallow some water and breathe through your nose. Normally you would have a response for Sydney’s joke but given what carmy just said to you had your mind running along with some burning tears you wiped away.

“So this is where you’ve been instead of answering me back?” You decide to switch the subject-you were great at that-wheezing a bit while Carmy scoffs and looks away.

Sydney frowns, “huh? When did you call me besides the FaceTime call…” she starts and pulls out her phone, “oh shit sorry. I placed it on do not disturb like thirty minutes after you didn’t call me back. I got wrapped into some entail about the menu from one of the chef’s that works here and is also a friend.”

Carmy speaks, “Didn’t know you had a connect with anybody here, Syd.”

“Can’t reveal all my moves, Carm.” She winks and lightly elbows him while Carmy sends her a small smile and a shake of his head.

Carmy asks, “scooping out our competition?”

“Only a little," She pinches her fingers before continuing, "and my dad thought it would be a place I wanted to try.” Sydney admits, “and if you two weren’t on a date I’d say let’s make this a group thing! so I’ll be going! I see my dad coming back from the bathroom…he’s got like a bladder problem and I don’t know why I’m sharing that with you two. But bye! Enjoy and just know I’ll be keeping my eye on you two.”

“Fuck,” carmy exhaled feeling his nerves rising, “don’t do that.”

Sydney chuckles to herself and sends a wave to you two before walking back to her table by the window.

“Siddy kicked me to the curb for her dad,” you sigh resting your cheek into your knuckles for a moment, “can’t be mad at that.”

“But you can be mad at me for what exactly?”

“You wanna do this with me right now?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“I thought we could move past what happened—

“You can say it you know? Me with my fingers inside—

“Excuse me!” You hiss, “I don’t need you to repeat action by action thank you. I was there too. We both know what happened, we’d agreed we can coexist around this big ass city. I show up to support—

“Did you though?” Carmy pressed, “support me? Or am I waiting for something else to be thrown at me with your upcoming review?”

“What?!” You bite, “is that what your stank ass attitude is about?”

Carmy tightened his jaw just as the first serving was handed over. You let him sulk in that for some time as you study the plating of the four appetizers, making note of each before taking more pictures with your sony.

“I wasn’t there to write a review.” You reply.

“I saw you—

“Let me finish. I understand pressure so I get it but you have to learn to channel your anger and this grief, elsewhere and deal with it better without projecting it onto any and everybody. I’ll tell you that right now that won’t get you anywhere and especially with me, Carmen.” You affirm.

You’ve been in Carmy’s position before so you can speak with experience. He seemed to always be waiting for the worse to continue filling up his plate but it takes time to accept the good in life. He was giving you something but you weren’t sure it was the best option for the both of you and you weren’t afraid to say that.

“Alright…I didn’t come here to talk about feelings either you know? That’s what those meetings are for.” Carmy spills just a tad.

You stare at the vibrant but delicate plating but his tone and the soft upbeat tempo above your heads don’t go unnoticed. “What did you come here for then?”

Carmy blinks and snatches up a spoon, almost weighing it in his hands before he dives the utensil into the dish. He stares as the stretch of cheese, twisting the spoon to break it apart before holding the Macaroni and Brie with Crab out for you to take the first bite.

He doesn’t answer for awhile and so you do the honors of taking a bite and savoring it's texture and taste.

“…that’s not my favorite.” You announce and notice that Carmy waited for your view.

He raises his brows, “tell me about it?”

“They need different plating.” You deeply sigh, “I know that type of plating works best for a dessert and that’s not it. There’s more breadcrumbs than meat, which seems to not be fully removed from its shell so be careful with that. It’s also lacking flavor even with the brie, which is my least favorite kind of cheese in Mac, although many swear by it.”

Carmy flicks his attention to your disappointment to you scribbling into your notepad with a shake of your head. If he was making you a dish, he’d try his hardest to make sure it was everything you ever wanted.

He quickly has his share and thinks to himself.

Carmy can agree, this was lacking flavor and the breadcrumbs didn’t even have a crunch to them. You can’t just depend on the cheese to give you flavor in Mac and cheese.

“What’s your favorite dish? I—I don’t think I ever asked you that. We just went straight into talking about the beef.”

And doing dirty things in the front seat but who needs to relive that?!

You look up from your notes and lift your chin, “you’re looking at it. It’s childish I know...but that’s exactly what it reminds me of: my childhood. Mac and cheese! then as I got into my adulthood…crab kinda took over. Which is funny because I hated on it for so long growing up. My papa—my grandad, he helped my mom raise me, he's from Ocean City so you can only imagine the amount of seafood on our table.”

You’re smiling to yourself and Carmy can’t help but to feel his small laughter lines appear by his lips as you’re locked into some memory only you can remember vividly. This was the most Carmy was learning about you, sure it may not look like much but he didn’t feel the need to dissociate even if at times he really couldn’t help it.

You were the question mark that he wanted to figure out and get all the answers to. Maybe it was his gut and he shouldn’t have blabbed to sugar about you because now Carmy was thinking this was Michael’s doing.

If you believe in that shit.

So the both of you take your time trying the small dishes before getting the main courses. It seems the longer you sit across from each other—the tension was definitely still there especially with Sydney’s eyes burning into the two of you across the room and attempting to not get caught—although she had once or twice but gradually it lifted as you and carmy shared this time together.

He watched you work while you asked for his input before you told your own. He also provided a few things he would do to tweak it if he agreed with what you didn’t enjoy. Which was eye-opening for you, yes you went to school for journalism and sat in on some cooking classes once that also tied into your passion for learning. After completing your first degree you decided culinary may take you to different heights and enrolled into culinary school. You didn’t find the need to continue going through with being a chef after Copenhagen, finding writing to be your stronger suit but you still understood food and the relationship with it when it came to chef’s.

So you took carmy’s input into consideration.

With the last serving being a Asian dessert called, “Jjan Hae,” which consisted of: coconut rice pudding served with fresh citrus (orange, grapefruit, kumquat) and coffee ice cream, topped with crispy pop rice & a shot of Korean rice wine, it was a strange concept but the both of you came to terms with the dessert working well.

Carmy even took a video to show Marcus tomorrow at the bear and sent a photo to an old colleague, Luca, that you were also familiar with considering Noma was a thing that you didn’t bother speaking much on…but it was your turn to give carmy the last serving.

He hesitated since he had his own bowl, which he finished way before you did but it was clear you wanted him to have the last bite so he also took it while saying something with his eyes.

Breaking the stare, the both of you felt your phone buzz with a text. Carmy didn’t jump to answer it right away…he was the worst texter according to Nat and Sydney but you can answer for the both of you as it was a group text from Sydney who was long gone with her dad.

Siddy + (773) XXX-XXXX: Carmy, invite aspen to breakfast in the morning?? See you guys then! 👍🏾😉

“You guys do breakfast at the bear now?” You say lifting your eyes from your screen.

You heard Sydney made a mean omelette but you haven’t been back since earlier this year and you weren’t in the mood for that that night.

Carmy frowns and closes his eyes with a shake of his head, “uh yeah it’s a new thing that Syd came up with but we agreed to do that with everyone once a month…later this month. Why?”

“She wants me to have breakfast with you guys…knowing I’m not a morning person.”

“It’s not happening tomorrow anyway, so what is she talking about?” Carmy digs into his jacket, where he carelessly shoved his phone into after sending the photo off to Luca.

Another text rings out: at carmy’s place. just us three???

Not Sydney making plans and then placing it all at Carmy’s apartment.

He’s taking a breath, almost as a silent reminder for him to do so before his thumbs move over his screen: i don’t even eat breakfast, Syd.

Syd: well youre gonna.

~ Syd has notifications silenced 🌙 ~

“Well, looks like your work wife told your ass.” You laugh, which you translated into her message but didn’t comment further than that.

Carmy harshly exhales through his nostrils in disbelief, “my work wife huh?”

He didn’t hate how that sounded but he also never thought about marriage or relationships in awhile.

“Yeah…the proof is in the pudding, no matter what anyone says.”

Carmy pinched at his bottom lip as he attempts to dryly joke, “I thought it was rice? and what about outside work…”

“That’s something you have to figure out yourself.” You shrug, getting ready to pack up your notes and cameras.

You turn your attention to the table, which knows just when to lift as you tap on the screen to signal that you’re ready to pay while holding out your company card, “are you paying cash for the tip or card?”

“Uh, cash.” Carmy answers, “…what if I’m starting to think about what come’s next?”

“With Syd?” You question, your now sage and mint scented hands flying over the screen as you select the correct paying method before tapping your company card against the screen.

Carmy starts bouncing his leg underneath the table, “with everything.”

“Well…when you’re ready you’ll make moves to make it happen won’t you?”

Carmy dips his head, “you bet.”

And here comes the intense eye contact that you can’t help but to huff out some laughter.

“What’s funny?”

“It’s just people with light eyes always do this thing where they’re just staring into your soul you know? Like damn, relax!”

Carmy’s confused as he holds his wallet open, “uh sorry for having eyes?”

“Shut up, glacier eyes.” You tell while Carmy just snorts at you.

The both of you don’t waste any time rushing back to his car as the clock is approaching 10pm. The wind’s definitely picked up and the temperature dropped, making it easier not to get caught up in the night time city lights which you often liked to do. Back in the van, carmy doesn’t wait to crank up the heat and you don’t bother to mess with the radio this time.

“So?” Carmy asks as he waits for the car to warm up some.

You keep your attention outside the window shield, “yes?”

“What’s the rating?”

“What makes you think I’m going to tell you that, Carmen?” You continue holding yourself.

He sniffs, “I mean—I was sitting across from you the entire night while you told me some of your thoughts.”

“So you thought you should also get the final score? I don’t even know what I’m going to say yet.”

“Ah, I think you’ve got some idea.” Carmy lolls his head over to peek at you.

Laughter bubbles past your lips, “I do. I’ve absolutely had better because—what the fuck was that?”

Carmen feels a crooked smirk appear on his own face, “I don’t want to completely bash other chef’s work but fuck, I thought it was just me? You said it got a 4.3 out of 5? The ambience and service was spot on but…the flavor for most of the dishes?”

“I knew you knew something about seasoning,” you continued laughing while carmy rolled his eyes, “should spend less on the tech and interior and more on some fresh herbs.”

“Isn’t it called simmer saffron?”

That made you laugh even harder as you gripped your stomach, “You’ve got that so backwards!”

And carmy couldn’t help but to scan your features as you laughed and he felt his chest getting somewhat lighter? Just listening to the sound of you and being beside you. What kind of feeling was this? He’s felt it before looking at someone else but that feeling was more of a tug with that light while this one slowly poured in from the black.

“Don’t be too hard on ‘em though? There’s always room for improvement.”

“Sure, but we both know the bear is better and you guys don’t have a waist list months in advance.”

“We also don’t have any celebrities showing up either.”

“Yet.”

Carmy taps his fingers against the steering wheel, appreciating that, “right, yet…I’m sorry about March. I was too in my head about so much shit and you’re right, I took it out on everyone and I’m still trying to make up for it.”

“Effort doesn’t ever go unnoticed if people look and feel it hard enough.”

Carmy chews on his lips at that, “if you believe that…then why do you feel what I said about dating—uh us—about us dating is out of the blue?”

“I said that?”

“Your eyes did. It’s the most expressive thing about you which is funny to me when you talk so much shit about mine when you hide the rest of it away on your face. It’s fucking confusing but I think I gathered that from our dinner tonight.”

Carmy was just as detail oriented as you. It was in his language with food and maybe even in his tattoos that you tried to understand starting with his fingers first. The way he spoke about what he would do with the dishes that were lackluster, except for the dessert—that was pretty good. Carmy wasn’t much of a talker because he wasn’t sure how to express himself, always been that way since you knew of him at Noma…but he told just enough in his dishes and you told just enough between the lines you wrote.

Someone just had to look hard enough.

“…I ever tell you I was engaged? Of course I didn’t, we’re still…I don’t know what the hell we’re doing here Carmen but I’m starting to sense that we could be special if we both want this badly.”

“What do you want?”

“Does anyone ever really know?” You laughed, “ I guess someone to look past the circumstanial and I had that once but then he died. So that was the end of that.”

“You swore off love.”

“Love is many things but maybe I closed off the long lasting part.”

Carmy could relate to that as least with family. He never had much interest in romance even growing up because he lacked that confidence in anything being permanent besides the chaos he’s used to, then he found some of it once he proved what he fucking set out to do yet cooking was all Carmen really opened himself up to. While Luca and others encouraged him to have a night out in the town, he always left early or if there was one person that caught his interest, they get to talking and both get bored of each other since Carmy hardly made the move to take them back to his. Before Noma?

Maybe.

Back in Paris there was one that could have been permanent but Carmy had to break her heart since Noma was calling. Culinary was his true love and he honestly couldn’t tell you what she even looked like now if you asked him. Things that should have mattered tended to get buried in the blue of his mind unfortunately.

He didn’t have the time to be attached and you didn’t want to have your heart ripped out again.

“How’d—

“He was a firefighter.” Was all you said and just those words alone told carmy it was anything but peaceful.

It took a lot for carmy to scream at himself how Michael went out and he imagined it might have been the same for you. So he wouldn’t dare ask for further morbid details because what did that help?

So maybe you weren’t wrong about the both of you not being ready to take that step on going on dates but change was everlasting.

“Uh—what about breakfast then after that not so great meal?” Carmy asks as he pulls off from the curb now.

You think about it. Really think about it that carmy starts to assume you may have dozed off.

“Depends on the time honestly? And who am I to turn down a free meal?” You beamed at Carmy who lifts his shoulders with a chuckle.

Carmy explains, “Syd and I usually start our days early, sometimes even earlier for me if I don’t get enough hours in. but thanks to the reno those on the early shift can get prep ready and I heard…you’re not a morning person?”

You’re just as sarcastic but there’s no lies, “I don’t even know my name or birthdate when I first wake up…what do you think?”

Carmy snickered at that, “okay? So how does 10am sound?”

“That’s pushing it but…I think I can be there so that’ll give me the rest of the day to work from home.”

Carmy nods, “can’t wait to read it. Shake on it?”

“On what? My review or showing up?”

“Both.”

“I’m not sending you a sneak peek, maybe syd or even nat but not you.”

“Ouch.” Carmy mocks, still waiting for your hand to touch his.

And when you do there’s a spark, that makes you yank your hand back and you feel like you’re in one of those cheesy teen movies.

You’re aware carmy’s felt that too but he just clears his throat and placed his hand back on the steering wheel. Leaving you to lightly massage the palm of your hand, now glancing at the profile of carmy’s face.

Life takes time to live but once you start to just let it be, the green starts to stand out more and can be equally as joyous…once you get through the rain and mud that is.

And once the ice blue sets back on you, the both of you can’t exactly see the future but there’s always warmth waiting for the cold to give them a try.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

February fluff anthology series continues here.

[elithe31st]

Hi!! I saw you write for Noah in Total Drama 🤭 could you possibly write where reader is either childhood friends with Heather or Alejandro and how Noah would feel about their relationships including readers childhood best friend.

hihi! thank you for requesting, i hope you dont mind i made this in headcannon form. if you'd like it to be a fic, don't be afraid to tell me :D

VULTURE CULTURE

noah tdi x gn reader headcannons

'' i'll watch my step if you drop another name ''

ALEJANDRO BURROMUERTO [PLATONIC]

noah doesn't understand. at all.

you two were friends before world tour, meeting on island, and watching from the sidelines along with him.

noah was content, happy even

until you flocked over to alejandro during wt

he just...didn't get it.

you still hung out with him, yes, but you had brought the eel into it

into everything

he didn't hate alejandro, no. he wasn't jealous or anything

okay yeah he was just a little bit

"(Name)," He says to you, a very small pout on his face. "What is it with you and Alejandro?"

he looks a bit angry, a bit sad

so you explain

and then hes honestly relieved

mostly because you werent like everyone else who fell for his 'attractive' schtick

plus, that was meant for justin

and then the episode where he got eliminated came

and you were mad with alejandro

like, really mad

but you let him be

like all bff fights, just don't talk to each other for a few days and then you're good

ALEJANDRO BURROMUERTO [ROMANTIC]

everything in the platonic part

except 2x angrier (if you two were openly dating)

"Hey, Alejandro, kindly back off. (Name) already has someone to keep them company, and it isn't you."

you and alejandro would be equally confused

noah? showing an emotion? besides confusion, worry, and rarely happiness?

youd have to explain to him

he'd just sit there. and then give a formal apology to both of you

alejandro would beg chris to let that apology air

and then noah would go right back to square one

he wouldn't get possessive, just more cocky and open about some of his insults towards alejandro

noah getting voted off officially comes around

you're mad

you hate alejandro for a few days

but ultimately noah would just make a very clear emphasis to not trust him

and then you get voted off

but you get to watch alejandro from the sidelines with noah

HEATHER [PLATONIC]

oh brother

everyone knew your status as 'heathers bestie' right off the bat

and even though you weren't mean

everyone treated you like it because of heather

except noah

noah was just another face in the team, but an important one

in between challenges, you and noah hug out a LOT

to the point you two treated it like a secret relationship

looking at each other and then giggling, nudging each other playfully, you get it

one day when you two were hanging out, you ask noah why he hung out with you

he responded with "Trust me, I know not to judge a book by it's cover. I mean, have you met me?"

you laughed

and then heather found you two

she just glanced at noah disapprovingly before stealing you to go elsewhere

elimination day

you weren't surprised noah got voted off

you ate your marshmallow, waving noah a small farewell as he left

next challenge you guys lost, you said if no one did anything drastic to just vote you off

so thats what happened

and then you chilled with noah at playa de losers

and told him about heather

and he just nodded

"Oh well, I'm already friends with a bunch of loons. What harm could a snarky loon do to my conscious?"

and then you hit him

lovingly

HEATHER [ROMANTIC]

noah officially has head trauma

you and him are dating. and you hang around heather a lot. if noah wants this relationship to work, he better be friends with heather

and stat

heather probably jokes about you two dating

"(Name), I knew your standards were low, but not know-it-all, braniac, band kid low!"

"Oh no, I'm smart, what a comeback. What's next, gonna say something about how I'm a nerd? I've heard it all. I'm getting bored, some new insults would be pretty nice."

you have to split them up before a verbal brawl goes between them

you make it work

somehow

go out with noah? get heather something small while you two are doing whatever

go with heather? pick up a book noah's been dying to read after

50/50 split

they eventually become friends

just

heather wont let noah get anywhere near you but it's fine!!!

[thequietkid-moonie]

With a clumsy crush

[ HEADCANONS ] [ AE-3803, U-1146, AA2153, U-1196 ]

[ Cells at Work! ] [ Cells at Work! Code Black ]

The fact that their names are numbers make way more dificult for me to try to remember them!! But something like that wont stop me from being a simp 🤌🏼

remember, this is the fandom all of you voted to be added, so now you have to support me on this! 🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼

AE-3803

AE-3803 is quite cheerfuly and is happy to get to know new people (hopefuly not while she is lost or even in danger), for you two to met is because you have to cross paths at least one time, wich is not difficult since she always travels all across this world, and since the start she has being quite friendly

It doesn't take much time before AE-3803 develop feelings for you, after spending time together she just start to fall in love with you without even noticing it, she can be quite innocent at times and she just accept her feelings without doubting them much, even if she is easily flustered when it come to you she just easily cover it up by admiration or even embarrassment for her own clumsiness

It doesn't take much time for AE-3803 to notice how clumsy you can be and she just find it funny and even a little adorable, unable to not relate to you and your clumsiness with how easily she gets lost, she even constantly make jokes about it (sometimes is just to try to brush off her embarrassed or flustered state)

It became quite common that whenever you two cross paths she is lost or you injured due your clumsiness, at first it was something you would worry but soon just became something over what you two joke around, as long as non of you are severaly injured or in real danger it doesn't hurt to joke about it

AE-3803 can be quite worried about you being clumsy but she is pretty much in a similar position, so even when she worries most of the time stays positive and doesn't talk about it or just ask you to be careful is a friendly way, even prefering to joke around about it to don't worry too much. Besides, AE-3803 isn't the type of person who judges you or underestimate you for being clumsy, she relate to you so she actually recognize the efforts you do when trying your best to do your work and even express her admiration without problems (even if she can get a little embarrassed when she notice what she is saying)

AE-3803 has a hard time understanding her feelings for you, she just doesn't fully get that she likes you in a more romantic way rather than just platonically, even if she gets flustered by you and is more embarrassed whenever you two meet each other when she is lost she still doesn't get that she is in love, or maybe she is too embarrassed to admit it

U-1146

Since U-1146 works protecting everyone from any threat in this world it won't be difficult to get to know each other during work, at first he was mostly polite but as you two see each other more often the closer you two grow to be closer, starting by being simply friends

For him to fall in love it will take a while, his feeling grow slow but they grow quite stronge, somehow you became quite important for him and he is constantly thinking about you and is quite obvious how happy he feels whenever you cross paths (he even offer you to walk with you with the excuse of having to go in the same direction)

U-1146 is stuck between knowing that you are important for him but not being sure of the true extent of his feelings, more than not accepting his feelings is that he doesn't fully understand then (and yet, he just accept the without much troubles)

U-1146 is quite perceptive due his job so it didn't take him much time to notice that you can be quite clumsy, and even when he was a little taken aback by your clumsiness at first it didn't take him too long to get used to it, the more time you two spend together the more he grow acostumed to it and at some point he will just learn to react fast to help you out, holding you or whatever you were holding before it hits the floor

As well, U-1146 can be quite protective over you, he doesn't get jealous easily but whenever he sense any kind of threat he is already getting ready to step in front of you to shield you from anything and everything, specially if you are already injured. However, U-1146 can be not be so serious all the time, if is something smaller or not so threatening, even if is something that is not his job to deal he can let his guard down or just accept that he can't do this and make sure you two are safe until the problem is solved

Despite everything, he doesn't really think less of you for being clumsy nor underestimate you for something like that, he just grow used to it and to ask you if you are alright or need any help when you are being specially clumsy, even feeling a little worried whenever you get injured for it

U-1146 is not the type of person who would underestimate you, even if you are quite clumsy he doesn't doubt your strength or your intelligence and even respect you from still doing your best at your work despite your usual clumsiness (and if you want to improve yourself and even try to have more balance on yourself to prevent more accidents his admiration for you will just grow)

AA2153

This job is definetly not what AA2153 was expecting, even during training they were told that things were better, wich just end up being a cruel joke

AA2153 have being trying his best to acomplish his work, trying his best to dont give up and stay as optimistic as he can, even if he has the world itself against him that won't stop him from trying his best and doing all he can to try and make this world survive

Honestly, falling in love have being a surprise even for him, is more likely you two meet constantly during work and just end up growing to be at least friends, even if it doesn't happen too slowl it will take him a long time to realice his feelings for you just because he takes what he feels like something natural and doesn't doubt them

AA2153 isn't exactly shy, he may sometimes get flustered whenever you two are hanging out, specially if you two are too close, but he will not have troubles to talk to you and sometimes even showing how much he does care for you, paying way too much attention to you and showing how concerned he is for your safety, he can be overworking himself and completely exhausted but always have the time to check on you to make sure you are doing alright

AA2153 already worries quite a lot for you due the condition of the world you live in but you being clumsy just make him worry even more, most of the time he tries to just focus on his work but everytime he sees you he tries to get at least a few seconds free to make sure you are doing alright (but always giving you a smile to try to don't make you worry)

Its not that AA2153 want to underestimate you but as someone who has a demanding work around the whole body he knows how bad things truly are so he just can't help but worry about your safety

With time he will just learn that he can't be there for you all the time and with the condition of this world, you have to learn to be independent and to protect yourself as much as you can, so he just forces himself to hold back and let you do things on your own, still everytime he comes across you always offer you a smile and ask you how you have being doing (at the end he still offer you help everytime he can since he is in love)

As much as AA2153 tries to don't be so worried all the time for you for yours and his own sake everytime he gets to see that you have injured himself he feels like his heart stop for a moment, imediatly asking you if you are alright, just hoping that is not a deep wound (because if it is he will not be able to handle the anxiety and will just forgot about his work for being worried about you)

U-1196

U-1196 is more than aware of the conditions of the world you live in, she is always working hard to try to protect this world and even when she is devoted to her work she isn't blinded by her responsabilities, she doesn't have much troubles to take a moment off if she has the chance

U-1196 is quite aware of herself and her feelings, she doesn't stop herself from feeling and being affected for what happens around but she doesn't forget about her work and what she has to do, thats why even when she didn't exactly thought about love she takes the fact that she had fell in love quite natural and without much troubles, but even when she doesn't deny her feelings she will not act in them for a while

If you two just see each other a few times, running in each other when you two are on work then U-1196 wouldn't even try to act on her feelings, she is too busy and doesn't want to force you to be in a relationship when having little time to spare, but if you two work together or even have jobs that make you two cross paths way too often then she would try to get to be your friend and get close at first

Despite being in love U-1196 won't think much on those feelings, or at least thats what she likes to think because no matter how much she tries to stay profesional she can't help but want to be close to you everytime you two cross paths, or how she instinctively step in front of you whenever there is danger, or even how she can feel quite jealous whenever she sees someone being way too close or friendly with you

U-1196 is painfully aware of the constant danger that the world have for any living creature in here, but you being quite clumsy just make her worry more, she was already quite protective by nature due her job but this trigger her quite often and make her feel troubled, even if she tries to forget about her feeling for the sake of both everytime she gets to see you being being clumsy or even injured she is imediatly trigger and can't stop herself from offering you a hand

U-1196 tries really hard to don't let her feelings affect her job or professionalism but she just can't help it, sometimes she let herself act on her feelings to shield you or worry for you and yet when there is inminent danger she always manage to focus completely do her job (and if you thank her, showing true gratitud or even admiration she will be incredibly flustered, even if she doesn't show it so directly)

[0809sysblings]

Amane, indoctrination, and gaslighting

and why voting Amane innocent would be the best course of action

I've been wanting to write a big post on Amane talking about indoctrination and such. Because I see takes sometimes that make it clear the person doesn't really... Get It.

Most of what I'll be explaining comes from my personal experiences growing up.

Additionally, most of what I say when it comes to outcomes (i.e. "If x happens, Amane will do y") will be based on the assumption that realism, not entertainment, is prioritized in the writing and that there are no major holes in our knowledge of what's going on. Theoretically anything could happen since this is a fictional scenario and we don't know everything when it comes to the world, the cases, and the characters. Not to mention my situation was nowhere near as extreme as hers. So although I probably have a better understanding of it than most people, I definitely can't claim that I know what she's gone through.

Personal anecdotes I add to better support my points will be in the small font (this!) since I don't want them to distract from the main text and so that they can be easily skipped for those who may be worried about being triggered. But if anyone needs plain text descriptions, I'll happily provide them!

!! TW for child abuse, religious abuse, and cults !!

I recommend skipping my personal anecdotes if more detailed discussions about these topics are a trigger for you.

At the heart of "good" (read: successful) indoctrination is gaslighting.

Since gaslighting has been one of the many psychology terms completely watered down and distorted by the internet, I will define it just so we're all on the same page!

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation used to make the victim question their own sanity, sense of reality, or power of reasoning.

Basically, you can't trust yourself. You can't trust your thoughts, your feelings, your interpretations, etc. You become completely reliant on other people (usually specific people who are the ones doing the gaslighting) to figure out what's real/true or not.

Toxic/extremist religious groups like to take gaslighting a step further though. Not only do they make it so you cannot trust yourself to judge what is right or not, they may also teach you that what feels wrong is actually right. You can see where this can start to cause some issues lol.

Anything your gut may tell you that contradicts what the group/cult leaders tell you—"this is wrong!", "this is bad!", "I don't want to do this..."—must be ignored. Because those feelings and thoughts, according to the leaders, are actually the sinful part of you trying to lead the good and faithful part of you astray. They make you question yourself to make sure you never question them.

They will figuratively or literally beat this into you until your first instinct is no longer to listen to your gut and do what it says, but to dismiss it and do what it's telling you not to do. Existing becomes a chronic power struggle between your unconscious mind and your conscious mind. Unfortunately, the fact that you're struggling often then gets used against you as proof that you need to follow their teachings. Because if you're unhappy, then you must be doing something wrong. You just need to have a little more faith, dedicate a little more time to the religion/group, go a little harder into your duties... Only then will you feel better—feel more enlightened.

An integral part in making all this work is isolation. If you don't somehow isolate the members, they may figure out that they're being manipulated and abused.

Now, isolation doesn't always mean purely physical isolation (though Amane is being isolated physically to at least some capacity). Psychological isolation is almost just as powerful. An almost universal psychological isolation tactic used by extremist groups and cults is the "Us vs Them" mentality. We can see this being very prominent with Amane. A lot of things she talks about with regard to the cult involves an Us-vs-Them dynamic. There is "Us", the cult, and "Them", everyone else.

Personally, we were taught that those who weren't believers of our religion were out to get us or will, at the very least, get us hurt/killed somehow. We were told many people wanted us dead just for being believers. You had to be careful and watch out when interacting with non-believers; you couldn't trust them. God was constantly testing you via others, and you had to make sure you stayed faithful.

This in particular is why no matter if you vote guilty or innocent, that itself will not actually do anything to change her beliefs. Voting her guilty will not make her start to feel bad and then question her beliefs. Voting her innocent will not make her listen to us and then question her beliefs. If we make her have any doubt about the cult, that's just proof to her that what we're telling her is wrong and is just another "trial" from God for her to overcome. So, changing her beliefs should not be a factor considered when voting since it's completely irrelevant. Everything can be twisted to support the cult. That's just how it works.

I don't think any amount of punishment will make Amane "come to her senses". I mean... what could we possibly do to her that she hasn't already had to endure? Punishment will likely only escalate things even more. Not to mention that having a bit of a fascination with martyrdom isn't all that uncommon in those who have been religiously abused and indoctrinated. The threat of punishment may only serve to motivate her to double down on her beliefs and behavior. Not to say she wants and likes punishment. It's obvious she's both scared of punishment and wants it to stop. After all, that's most likely the motive behind the murder.

Even prior to Amane's age, I was already fantasizing about being a martyr. A part of me almost wanted to be killed for my religion and community. It was seen as something extremely admirable. The ultimate sacrifice, if you will. We were taught that if given the choice between saving yourself by denying your faith or letting yourself be hurt/killed by standing your ground, you should choose the latter. Of course, I also did not want that to happen at all. It scared me shitless. But we weren't allowed to be scared about that stuff. It was seen as questioning God and the religious authorities, which was completely taboo. So I had no choice but to "want" it.

Isolating Amane is the worst possible thing we could do to her. No one gets better from being isolated, and this goes double for people living in abusive environments. She's been isolated her whole life. The best thing for her would be spending time with the other prisoners without restrictions. The more time she spends around people who have no connection to the cult, the better. Trying to argue with those in cults about why they're wrong and why they are in a cult (because most don't even recognize they're in a cult due to the gaslighting, indoctrination, and stigma) will almost always backfire. The best thing to do is to just be there for them to have someone to interact with who is not a cult member.

The only reason I left the extremist religious community I grew up in was because I made a friend who was not affiliated with it. I don't think I would've been able to see that the conditions I was living in were Not Very Good without that friend. He didn't even really do anything to actively help me. Just learning more about the real world through him was enough to make me start looking closer at my life.

To vote her guilty would be to continue isolating her. Not just physically as the guilty prisoners get restrictions put on them, but it's also an inescapable psychological isolation. Innocent vs Guilty is just another Us vs Them dynamic.

I fear that, if she ends up guilty this trial, she will likely be voted guilty again in trial 3. Her aggression will probably only escalate as she feels herself becoming more and more cornered. And since I know many people are voting her guilty solely to make sure she doesn't hurt Shidou or other prisoners, I can only imagine what the voting will look like for her in trial 3 once she's forced to become even more aggressive to protect herself.

And tbh... I can't imagine that having a prisoner with 3 guilty verdicts will make for all that interesting of a story for them. Not that it would be boring, per se. But having variety would, in my opinion, be the most interesting and entertaining! So, if nothing else I've said has been able to sway those who vote her guilty, then think about the entertainment factor!

Please vote this severely traumatized 12 y/o girl innocent. We can give her so many secret cakes to eat.

[imagines--galore]

||Distraction||

Summary: You were just trying to finish up some work. The arrival of a certain Captain, only served to distract you from your purpose. Not that it was a bad distraction. But perhaps it did render you unproductive, on more the one occasion.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Rating || Genres || Warnings: T. Romance. Just a bit of ogling at the readers part, but then again I mean who wouldn’t look at him and drool? Wait what? No? Just me? Also one curse word!

A/N: You guys voted, so here it is! Also lemme know if I should write a more NSFW companion piece to this ;)

You stared at the screen of the laptop in front of you, willing it to fill up by itself. Perhaps if you hadn’t blown up half the building during the mission. Fury wouldn’t have you writing up the report of the incident. In your defense it had been necessary, in Fury’s eyes eye it was a complete waste. As a form of punishment, you had been given the task of writing up the accounts of the mission.

And you were loathing every second of it.

Still it had to be done. Sitting in the living room of the Avenger’s Compound Common Room, you pushed your hair behind your ears, inhaled a deep breath and began to type.

For nearly half an hour you were zoned out from the world around you as you continued to type, determined to finish the damn thing within the hour so you could actually get some work done.

Like shopping. Or working out. Anything but this.

You were so engrossed in your task that you didn’t notice Steve entering the vicinity. He moved to stand behind you where you sat on the sofa, leaning over the headrest with his arms crossed over it as his blue eyes scanned the screen of your laptop.

“I barely ever see you up this early.” He commented. You barely glanced in his direction, knowing you would loose your train of thought as you simply hummed in reply.

Chuckling softly, Steve moved to grab a water bottle from the minibar/fridge that was on the opposite side of where you sat.

Despite your best efforts, you couldn’t help but allow your eyes to flicker up to look at him. You couldn’t help it. Clearly he had just come back from his morning jog, you judged by the shoes he was wearing. Though your eyes were nowhere near his shoes as the lingered on the shirt and workout pants he wore. A shirt that seemed to stretch quite nicely against his torso. And the pants seemed to be doing wonders for his-

The sound of a throat clearing had you blinking rapidly as you were brought back to reality. You looked to see Steve staring at you with a quizzical look on his face. Realizing he must’ve asked you something you shook your head. 

“Sorry. What?”

He smiled, making your stomach do a somersault. “I asked if you wanted some water.”

“Oh!” You quickly shook your head. “No thank you!” With that you turned your attention back to your work. It took every bit of strength you had to not look back at him and appreciate the way his biceps flexed against the fabric of his shirt.

It took you two hours to complete the damned report.

                                            ————————–

You were trying very hard not to stare. Doing your best to keep your attention on the young Sokovian in front of you as you helped her learn a few basic combat moves. Wanda may have powers but it didn’t mean she couldn’t learn a couple of moves to give herself extra protection.

It did not help that Steve was currently beating the hell out of a punching bag. His every move was precise and every blow that landed had you wandering just how much strength he packed in his powerful body.

Wanda asked you something, providing you with the distraction you needed to turn your thoughts away from Steve.

“I do hope you’ve been practicing your mental walls Wanda.” You said, as you helped improve her stance. “Wouldn’t want you to accidentally hearing things.” Hearing things like you main whispering to you to imagine just how amazing it would feel to have Steve’s attention on you rather then the punching bag.

Preferably with his hands on you in an entirely different context.

Shaking your head, you made Wanda move through a couple more sets of easy combat moves, and you were extremely proud of yourself for keeping your entire attention on her. But once the sound of punching fell away, you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander to the source.

Only to feel your mouth run completely dry and your eyes to widen almost comically.

He had taken off his shirt!

Repeat with an appropriate adjective.

He had removed his fucking shirt!

Your brain seemed to short circuit as your eyes swept over his bare torso. It was utterly ridiculous just how muscled her was. But then perhaps it was the effect of the serum. Not that you were complaining.

You weren’t complaining one bit.

And he was using a towel to dab away whatever sweat he had worked up. And though it was hardly sanitary, you briefly wandered just how it would feel to run your tongue along his skin in that moment.

Good God! You had gone mad!

“It’s not fair!” You suddenly blurted out, unable to stop yourself from doing so. Wanda looked a little taken aback by your sudden outburst while Steve frowned at you in confusion.

“What’s not fair?” He asked, hand dropping from the back of his head as he placed the towel around his shoulders and turning his full attention towards you.

But you didn’t reply, opting to glance at Wanda and dismiss her for the day. Still confused the young woman obediently walked out, leaving the two of you alone. Huffing under your breath, you moved to grab a water bottle to take a drink, in hopes of calming down your heated body.

“Whats not fair Y/n?” He asked again, this time the use of your name made you bite down on your lower lip and close your eyes as you started to gather your things. You suddenly felt his presence right next to you, as he reached out to grasp a hand around your wrist.

Your entire body froze, your eyes widening as you stared up at him. He raised an eyebrow in return, silently asking the question again.

You swallowed. “How am I supposed to get anything done when you’re distracting me?” You finally stated, allowing your frustration to show as your eyes dropped to his still bare torso, not at all holding back in your obvious ogling this time. You completely missed how the blue in his eyes darkened, and a sly smirk stole across his lips as he used his grip on your wrist to pull you closer.

“And how am I distracting you?” He asked, his voice low and deep as you finally met his gaze, only for a shuddering breath to leave your lips as you finally saw the raw desire that darkened his gaze.

You bit your lower lip before speaking, you voice just an octave lower then usual as you did. “You’re distracting me by being ridiculously good looking.” You said, body trembling with anticipation as he slowly began to lean down, just as he guided the hand he was still holding to rest on the warm skin of his torso.

“Not fair!” You breathed, just before your boyfriend finally met your lips in a heated kiss, drawing you ever closer as the two of you slowly got lost in each other.

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #7

"A Dinosaur in Dimmadelphia" - Full moon in the title card!

Hazel's parents are really engaged in having fun. I'm a little curious as to where this is going, since if we follow the OG lore, Hazel should lose Cosmo and Wanda once she's no longer miserable. I'm curious if they're going to push that direction or retire that bit of lore.

Also, C and W kind of snuck in under the radar and are retired otherwise, so Jorgen probably won't ride them as hard as he used to.

SLKDJF- It's a WHAT?

Obtuse Rubber Goose - 2001 B.C.

Of course she's more into the rocks.

/sweats at the billboard for Atlantis Condos even though it's painted in a mural. Cosmo... (Also I love the dinos by the water coolers in that image).

Man, this is a playground for both Cosmo AND Wanda's destructive histories!

I have feelings about the Fairlysaurus. I question nothing.

They're so cute.

The unfortunate thing about this show is that Whisper can tell me some scientists believe dinosaurs wore top hats and had electricity and unfortunately that's 100% possible in this world.

I like how Hazel's creature-hunting dad listens to Whispers Fred's podcast. That's gonna go well.

I like how Cosmo and Wanda can understand dinosaurs. She would be the type to understand them and wipe them out of existence anyway.

Confirmed 10k-year vacation through time!!

Hazel wishing "I wish people weren't afraid of dinosaurs" after bringing one to the future is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Welp, that solves that.

sldkfj, Wanda proudly talking about the comet that wipes out dinosaur life as if she didn't personally launch that comet.

"If I can't send [the dinosaur] home, I'll do the next best thing: Get him a job!" - I changed my mind, that's even funnier. Hazel, why?

I love the background hills:

I like the implication that people are totally ready to accept the dinosaur as an actor because they're no longer afraid of him, so he can stroll in and not only are they unafraid, they also don't question it. Yeah, that sounds about right.

This vibe is very funny since Timmy usually tried keeping his wishes under wraps. Hazel's just been changing her surroundings and people play along.

I like that Whispers Fred and the museum guy had a bet about dinosaurs having electricity and the museum guy just sighs and pays it. Yeah, okay.

... Do I know that screaming man? Why does he sound familiar? Is he from "T.U.F.F. Puppy?" I know him... Is it Meerkat, my beloved?

-> I looked it up and Meerkat's VA is Daran Norris (Cosmo's VA). So... Yes, it was probably him using a Meerkat-adjacent voice, SKLSDJF.

Mystery mayor...

Is that #1 Dad in the crowd? Where is your baby?

SKLDFJS we're keeping the dinosaur. Okay.

"Fearless" time! - This title card has SPOT-ON Cosmo and Wanda in their old designs. Nice!

Did Hazel share a room with her brother, hence the bunk bed?

I like how Hazel's wardrobe is filled with identical outfits just like Timmy's closet used to be.

I like how the movies are also in 2D animation style.

Dev loves staring at Hazel and judging her in the background, doesn't he?

The kid on the voting poster reminds me of Imaginary Gary.

Note to self, include a trigger warning for this episode if I recommend it to anyone who doesn't like horror. It's no "Dark Harvest" or what-not, but they do a good job of making it creepy to kids, but... whoa.

I like the idea of Jasmine's fears coming to life as separate people outside her body, which is different than when Timmy wished he was fearless and became numb.

Hazel wishing for a Hazel stand-in to hold her place in class was smart. She and Chloe would be friends.

sldkjf, bug spray with the cockroach from "Wanda's Day Off" on it.

The plot about Jasmine having to be the one to face her fears is clever. Also, Hazel implied she has to avoid revealing magic, so it looks like she did get the basic rules explained (and they're still in play in this spin-off).

Wait, why is the girl who was reading "Shakespeare for Mimes" afraid of clowns?

I'm glad the crowns make metallic sounds when they fall since they're magnetic in the OG series.

OH SNAP- Hazel getting called out for "trying to make this friendship into what she had with her brother." That's rough, kid. Forcing Hazel to face her fears is a clever way to introduce her insecurities to the audience. I like it.

The list of champions on the school's wall goes up as far as 2019, and we can't be THAT far in the future since there aren't others.

I did worry where this plot was going, so I'm glad Hazel opted not to watch scary movies and instead pick something her friend wanted to do too :)

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 3, Poll 12

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Art of Zolf Smith is by @taikoaiko

Adam Parrish-The Raven Cycle

Qualifications:

He's extremely bi and is HoH (acquired deafness in one ear)

Bisexual and hard of hearing!

deaf in one ear AND bisexual—thats hot!!!!!!!

Propaganda:

I love him

Well if no one else is gonna submit my son then ig I'll have to! He can be such a lil bitch sometimes but I love him so much. He is a witch. He is a genius. He is insecure. He's got the most game out of all of his friends but the bar is on the floor. He and his boyfriend both have extreme daddy issues. He is poor. He is me. <3 I love you adam parrish

i have too little brain to make propaganda right now but he is the Most deserving of this award it is an honour to nominate him

Zolf Smith-Rusty Quill Gaming

Qualifications:

Both legs amputated at the knees

Propaganda:

I love him so much! Chill Sailor Paladin Dad my beloved. He's tired, he's asexual, he's biromantic, he's mechanically grief-stricken, he's atheist, he had a messy breakup with Poseidon Himself, he saved the world (somewhat reluctantly) and he's in a QPR with Oscar Wilde. Yes, *that* Oscar Wilde. I actually really love how Ben Merideth chose to portray Zolf's disability over the course of the show. Coming to terms with it is a pretty big part of his arc, and while I'm not the best person to judge here since I'm not an amputee, it felt very well executed to me. He spends a lot of the show having his agency, specifically regarding his legs, taken away from him (nonconsentual amputation from Mr Ceiling, legs he didn't agree to receiving from Poseidon, being forced into making major world decisions he doesn't feel equipped to handle, etc) and it's pretty clear that it's the feeling of powerlessness and lack of agency bothers him much more than the actual loss of his legs. While he does end up using prosthetics for the bulk of the campaign, after the action is done it's made clear that he much prefers using a wheelchair, which is what he does. Anyways. Vote for Zolf he has loads of hitpoints.

Anything Else?:

Your honor I love him

Submitted by @crustaceousfaggot

[dee-morris]

An Overdue Rant and a Christmas Fic

I wrote this Hallmark AU last December. It was supposed to be a jokey little one-shot, but man it ate my brain. My average daily word count is 500-1k words a day, and I think I was doing 2k to 5k a day until it was done. I couldn't fuckin stop, and it was glorious.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43616245/chapters/109670092

This is very important to me, because I came to fanfic like a dying traveler comes to an oasis. After the pandemic I became deeply depressed and I developed chronic writer's block. Marketing was an uphill slog, and not being able to go out and socialize at events made it unbearable. When I did go out, the anxiety I felt about COVID made it not fun. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to write again.

Writing fanfiction was a welcome reprieve from all that: no deadlines! No SEO! No depressingly tiny royalty statements! Positive reinforcement with no dollar signs attached! So it was nice, it was fun, but I didn't really get my groove back until I wrote HallMark. That wasn't just fun. That was drive. That was passion. And it was glorious.

After it was done and posted, I couldn't forget about it. I had to know what it was about that story that grabbed me by the brain cells like that. So I went back and read it again, and I read the comments (thank you all kind people you're the best), and I realized that it was about Aziraphale and Crowley, but it was really about my feelings towards how children are raised.

*I'm not going to completely spoil the fic here, but feel free to go read it before we get further bc I'm about to discuss some thematic elements.*

Crowley is raising the Antichrist to be the destroyer of worlds on the surface, but underneath it he cares about the world, and he cares about Adam too. And that is the side of him that Adam responds to, and why he turns out the way he does. And that's what parents don't understand about children. They are only kind of listening to your words. What they respond to, and what nurtures them, is your behavior towards them and towards the world you're raising them in. If you tell your kid that Jesus loves everyone and we should help the poor, but you vote for people who will cut welfare bc you think you'll get a tax break and a new boat, your kid sees you. If you tell your kid that it's a sin to judge others but you glare at a tall woman going into the ladies room bc you think she might be trans, your kid sees you. They might grow up to be an asshole or they might grow up to think that you're one, but either way you lose.

And if you tell your kid that his destiny is to destroy the world and that living things are fit only to be ground under his heels, but you make him sandwiches and worry about him when he's out of your sight and buy him stupid Christmas crap because it makes him happy, your kid might not turn out as evil as you thought.

(don't actually tell your kid he's the Antichrist, btw, this fic is hyperbole for symbolic thematic purposes and not a parenting guide)

Anyway, my point is if you love your kid and treat him right, if you treat other people right, and give him a stable home and maybe a dog if you can afford it, he'll probably turn out pretty much okay. The rest is just flavor.

Parents stress too much about things that don't matter, but it's not our fault. You have to run the gauntlet a couple of times before you can filter out stuff that matters from stuff that doesn't, because the books and guides and parenting classes will just try to scare you about everything. Let me assure you that your baby does not give two shits if you feed with breast or bottle. But your child will remember whether you were happy, and whether you took pleasure in their presence in your life.

So what sucked me in about this fic was the reversal of what I've seen in the real world. My brain conjured a fantasy of someone who's a good parent despite themselves, instead of a bad parent with a church habit and a fat bank account. Of course I had to bring that fantasy into the world. It's how things become real.

[good-beanswrites]

Any headcanons about Yuno, Muu, and Shidou being guilty in T1, for a total of 7 guilty prisoners? If it means anything, none of them have a higher guilty percent than Amane. (Yuno is 50.85%, Muu is 51.26%, Shidou is 50.96%, based on Pai's graph)

(I see what you're currently working on)

Haha, well I hoped you enjoyed a bit of comedy before I post some dramatic headcanons :3 Thank you for the request, this is a really interesting switch-up for the prison 👀👀👀 A majority guilty cast would carry a much darker tone, but allow for a few people to really shine.

Major guilty reactions:

Yuno: She’s just as bitter about her guilty verdict as she was in canon, becoming cold and isolated. She’s tired of people making judgements about things that are none of their business, and separates herself from everyone. There’s the subtle difference from canon because she actually agrees with this verdict, but still doesn’t think Es should be the one to give it out. Her video has more focus on Es/the audience, we see more people who may judge her (friends, family, etc). More stuffed animals, more crowds, all growing hostile. The video had more substantial hints towards her sadness at the way society looks down on people like her. 

Muu: She becomes panicked and defensive with her judgment. She's flighty, startles easy, and lashes out in fear all the time. Now, she’s the one to consider ending everything – to her, the verdict essentially means “if it was really down to you or her, it shouldn’t have been her.” Her video really highlights that duality, turning both she and Rei into monsters battling for/with the hourglass. Her panicky attitude is reflected in it, feeling like everyone in the world must be out to get her now.

Shidou: He’s at peace with the verdict, and allows himself to fall into misery. He's thankful to be punished for all the guilt he’s been feeling. Kotoko’s attacks only plunge him deeper into despair. He feels helpless and once again can’t save people the way he wanted to. He’s disillusioned with his career and becomes pessimistic and bitter. He takes it out on Es, telling them there’s no way they can save anyone either. His video is full of unavoidable death in nature, like rotting food, changing seasons, and wilting flowers. 

The attacks:

Since the guilty percentage order didn’t change, I’m going to say the attacks themselves happen exactly the same – it’s the aftermath that’s different. Whether it’s due to restraints or locked cells, Shidou isn’t able to offer aid. He has to sit back and talk the others through instruction: Haruka, Kazui, and Mikoto if he can get him to focus. They do their best, but they’ve never done anything like this before. Despite his calm attitude, Shidou isn’t good at explaining things he knows innately under pressure. Fuuta and Mahiru end up in a much worse state, since proper care was denied for so long. (I don’t think they’d kill anyone t2, but if they were willing to, she would have died here). Fuuta’s eye is gone for sure, and he has trouble getting around with his other injuries. Mahiru is barely scraping by, not allowed to leave her bed. Her video is glitchy and confusing due to the unhealed head injury and overall weakness.

Other character details:

Haruka grows even more confident than canon, seeing himself as Muu’s protector as well as the object of her affection. He helps her through her self-harming thoughts, feeling like a hero and a model son again. He threatens Es to vote her innocent, but with his newfound feeling of importance he threatens anothers’ safety, not his own (maybe Amane or Mahiru because they're smaller than him.)

Amane’s hatred for Shidou is actually dulled because he got a guilty verdict too. She believes he’s getting the punishment he deserves, and doesn't need to interfere. She's a little annoyed he's taking the punishment with open arms, though.

Fuuta’s line in Backdraft is just about Kotoko – “why is she innocent?” He feels less singled out among so many guilty prisoners, but he recognizes his parallels with her and it drives him crazy that they got different verdicts.

I won’t spoil anything for Kotoko’s stuff, but she’s a bit less harsh since she believes Es really is just like her, giving unattached, severe judgements. 

Since he was able to help a lot in the attacks, both protecting Fuuta and offering care afterwards, Kazui really leans in the hero role. Whether he enjoyed being a cop before or not, he's consumed by that responsibility now. It gives him purpose and he really takes charge of everyone. He and Kotoko butt heads a lot now that he's speaking up more.

There are conflicted emotions between the innocent prisoners and patients – they know they’re not medically trained, but there’s still a bit of hostility that they didn’t do a good job. There’s a mix of feeling grateful for their aid and bitter it’s not perfect. The innocent ones get a confidence boost that they were able to be useful and protect others instead of hurt them, as well as get crushed by the guilty that they failed at offering great care. 

I'll need more time to ruminate on it, but I wonder if given enough time, would the guilty prisoners band together and attack Kotoko back? It was hard for the canon four, but now they have the numbers...

[notmorbid]

hacks: season two.

dialogue prompts from the second season of hbo's hacks.

it feels racist in here, but i can't tell why.

i need you to take your phone and i need you to throw it into the ocean.

yo, are those ashes?

if you need to talk or whatever, i'm always here. except tuesdays and thursdays.

you've always been pretty entitled and annoying.

have you ever tried a regular meditation practice? apparently, it can really help.

i don't have 'emotional irregularity'.

i've never said this to anyone in my life, but i think you need to read less.

i don't need to see all the nasty things people have written about me.

i got the recipe from my favorite vegan beauty podcast.

you'd think at one point i'd stop caring.

this is the one place nobody judges you.

a dude did just call me 'socialist bitch' for walking out on the national anthem.

there is one thing that you could help me with.

___ is absolutely capable of killing me.

you're famous, right?

don't be a snob.

betrayal is the worst feeling in the world.

at least let me snap a pic of your aura real quick.

you're always trying to get me to be more honest.

you said you wouldn't hit people.

you're just like me. you're as selfish and cruel as i am.

once it's in your file, it's in your file.

i'm gonna be better. i'm gonna stop doing shit that makes me be impulsive.

haven't you ever been in litigation before? it'll be a good experience for you.

you never take my fashion advice.

you're talking in your sleep again.

i'm trying to be a good person, you dumb bitch.

get back to being 'good' tomorrow morning.

don't make me drink alone.

you're incredibly emotionally intelligent.

those compression socks are fierce.

you told me that? i must have blocked it out because it's so sad.

your assistant said you were at anger management.

excuse me? i am very self-sufficient.

i'm going to stay here and take one of those 'depression naps'.

i can only imagine what perverse road we're about to go down.

do you feel that society has programmed you to feel this way?

fuck it. i'm gonna start voting.

i do mean what i'm saying. i'm just saying it because i'm on molly.

good luck with your marriage. your wife's obsessed with me.

wow, you're hot and funny?

i was almost a victim of unprovoked physical violence. where have you been?

i called ___ 'mommy' earlier. i don't even call my mom that.

i think that was just a hill. now, you're climbing a mountain.

stop trying to cheer me up.

'one of'? how many stalkers do you have?

i'm kind of hard to describe. you kind of have to experience it.

no, it's cool. i love nosy people.

i was so lonely, i used to draw faces on our pillows and talk to them.

how'd you get that scar?

how could they do that to you?

i looked tired while i was sleeping?

i can't believe you won't just say you're sorry.

i was hoping you would just be proud of me for doing something.

i always thought you just didn't even try.

you will fuck up. it's impossible not to.

can we go out? i want to get fucked up.

i know what you're doing. you're pushing me away because you're afraid.

people want you right now. they won't forever.

you have to be a shark. you have to do what's best for you.

what do i have to even say?

i told you. you're just like me.

you've got your own mountain to climb.

i don't want to be here. i want to be wherever you are.

that's it? we're not gonna talk anymore? i won't see you?

sounds problematic to me. but what do i know?

[souliebird]

i would yell to every american that is part of this genocide and advocate for Biden, show public support of him and decides to ignore not only the genocide in Palestine but also what's going on with trans rights. and the whole "Third, Biden isn't the one who overturned Roe v Wade. You wanna know who did? The people Trump put in charge. The Republicans are the ones attacking women's rights" argument is shitty when Obama did nothing to secure Roe vs. Wade, he let this happened and then Biden let this happened too, washing his hands while blaming Trump.

so all you fucking americans should take your white liberal opinion and shove inside your ass, live your life happily while having the blood of innocent in your hands.

you don't care for Palestinen, you don't care for trans lives, you don't care native americans lives, you only care for your white liberal ass.

Okay, seriously come off Anon if you want to spout this shit.

I don't support Biden. I don't support Trump. I support going out and voting for the people who can make the changes to get Roe vs Wade codified? It isn't the president that does that shit, it's Congress. It's judges. We the people can vote for those people and hope they didn't fuck us over like all leaders do.

Even when the House and Senate were all Blue they still did nothing. Obama didn't do shit, Clinton didn't do shit and that is Not Our Fault. We voted like we were supposed to. We protested like we were supposed to. We have advocated at every turn.

We trying our best here in a system rigged fucking against us.

America does have blood on its hands. So do all the other First World Countries who think they have a right to the world.

Stop acting like you are high and mighty on the Internet and shouting behind a keyboard at people who do care, who try to help by voicing support for things like Roe v Wade, for Palestinians, for The Congo, and the Amazon.

So sorry my posts on my stupid Tumblr blog where I go to relax aren't up to your standards. You have no idea who I am and what I believe. You have no idea what I've done to help or support people. If you actually cared instead of wanting to be righteously mad, you'd redirect your energy.

But no, you want to hide behind anon and play troll, bc it's what makes you feel better.

What exactly have you done to help?

How are you advocating?

[metancy]

yuki hcs !! why is she asking about other people's type of woman????????

:fingerguns: . ( 1 ) grew up being involved and a major proponent of physical boxing matches . she learned a lot of her movesets from fights like muhammad ali and his wins / losses & from old martial arts movies . she's got a myriad of broken bones and fights on her record from all over the world , and she likes the adrenaline that comes with getting violent , it's difficult to match ! she finds other ways to combat the need for exhilaration though , but at heart , she's a born & bred boxer . ( 2 ) she's only had one student to date , aoi todo . she's the one who gave him his infamous scar on his face , in fact , and after that she quickly realized she shouldn't be a teacher and enrolled him in kyoto's school for safe keeping . she figured someone there would be a better teacher than her , especially when it came to books and all that technical mess rather than physical sparring . ( 3 ) don't get mistaken though from that last one ; she's a learner herself and absorbs information at an insane rate , running up against gojo as far as fighting and techniques go . she's well versed in science as a way of finding out how to best utilize her shikigami & her technique together , and knows to train alone and in isolation as opposed to public places like tokyo or kyoto . after all , she's a special grade who can hit almost cartoonishly hard and that poses a threat to a city . ( 4 ) dog person through & through . she plans to get a dog one day when she does , finally , settle down somewhere . but she's known for being annoying to cats too on the occasion she finds them . living in japan , which is overrun with cats , she's partial to dogs but finds her heart softened by the feline population . she sometimes travels with the animals . ( 5 ) drinks like a damn fish if you let her . don't offer her alcohol unless you like amassing a terrible tab . ( 6 ) her apartment is a mess . tsukumo is very rarely in the area to care for her house , so it doesn't surprise her to come back from months on end and find the electricity or water is cut off or something from inactivity . she walks around in her underwear because she forgets to wash her clothes , loses stuff in her horrendous home all the time ... ... and has a living room full of research into souls & jujutsu techniques . she thinks she can find out a lot from incarnation and souls , and thus , she searches the globe for even tidbits of information . ( 7 ) tends to get loud without meaning to . exclaiming " damn it ! " or " shit ! " . voted the most likely to start a bar fight but also the most likely to win one . ( 8 ) her justice system is whatever gives her the most freedom . it only changes when she finds choso and begins to feel attached more to the students and their cause that she decides to maybe skew her fighting more towards whatever most benefits them personally . ( 9 ) ... she asks for a man's type of woman as a way of judging them . the less interesting the answer , the less interested she is , therefore , in them themselves . it's also a joke between her and her student , todo .

[momotonescreaming]

Thank you to everyone who voted on the Make Me Write Poll! I successfully (but slowly) managed to write 49 sentences of '24 Hour Diner'. So as a thanks, have a preview of the now-slightly-reworked intro 💜💜

For reasons incomprehensible and truly annoying — Eddie wrote best in the middle of the night. And thanks to his insomnia, he had the opportunity to do so regularly. So he’d give up on sleep, put on shoes, and head down to Benny’s 24 hour diner to try and get some writing done. Might as well do something productive.

It’s almost always empty — save for Benny — and maybe it’s the background noises from the kitchen, or the TV he has playing quietly, but Eddie always writes a lot more than he ever does at home. He’d write some some lyrics, work on a D&D campaign, start drafting that novel he always talked about writing. Plus the food was incredible. Or maybe it just seemed incredible considering it was cheap, open in the middle of the night, and close to his apartment. Either way, Eddie would end up at Benny’s at 3am in the morning, dead tired, chow down on some eggs and bacon, and write quietly. He had a system and it worked. For the most part.

Benny doesn’t care if he shows up in his paint-stained sweats, or his Garfield pyjama pants. The waitresses won’t judge when he orders his third cup of coffee and then loads it with entirely too much sugar. They let him claim a booth and then stay there for hours.

People come and go, chat with Benny, get some food, and then disappear again. People working night shifts. Groups of semi-drunk college students. He watches them sometimes. When the words get stuck, and forcing them on paper feels like pulling teeth. Occasionally, he turns them into NPC’s for his next DnD game. Makes them up a backstory, a world of their own, and places them in his ever-growing fantasy world.

He never sees the same group of people twice. Eddie’s the only regular.

Until he isn’t.

There’s this one guy, and he keeps showing up. Sometimes he’s already there when Eddie arrives. Others, he shows up hours after Eddie. A new regular. Eddie isn’t quite sure what the dude’s schedule is — but he knows he must have one — since he seems to be there pretty consistently.

He looks Eddie’s age — or thereabouts — and looks as tired as Eddie feels, but in a hot-guy, sexy-dishevelled sort of way. He makes it work, the bastard. His swoopy brown hair was once carefully styled — he looks the type — but it’s now starting to hang over his forehead, limp and greasy. Hot guy brings his arm up, running his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face. Eddie knows it’s to genuinely get the hair out of his face — greasy hair in your eyes is a bitch — but it looks like such a fucking move. Like any second now he’ll look at Eddie out of the corner of his eye and wink.