#vriska would fucking kill this man. she is not a meow meow

[sexygaywizard]

The fact that if Vriska ever saw Harry du Bois she would absolutely viciously insult him and there is like an 80% chance that Harry would literally and actually die on the spot from it is proof that Vriska is no match for him in a poor meow meow competition

[rockkal]

HOMESTUCK BEYOND CANON NEXT UPD8(s) PREDICTIONS (I'm delusional, btw) /SHITPOST

We get to see Jack Noir be a pathetic little meow meow and has depression because he's too busy working at the mine coal to see his wife

The Felt come into the screen, also somehow snowman, and they all say "We voted for Obama" (this is very important homestuck lore, btw)

Brand new character called HEROIN ADDICT is introduced. Son of Karkat and Dave. Has a brother named John Egbert Strider Vantas

Clover flirts with Jane and gets sent to the weed dungeon. And not like the good weed. I mean like the weed that really feels like shit

Jake becomes new leader of the Felt and Crowbar becomes his dad (Crowbar dad AU, write that down, it'll be on the test)

We get to see Death, the character, talk with ULT Dirk and he brang along the Midnight Crew, Mom Lalonde B1 and Dad egbert because he thinks they're cool (also, Mom Lalonde and Dad Egbert kiss a lot in death's office and have tea and buscuits with the Midnight Crew)

CALIBORN COMES FOR A SINGLE PANEL AND MAKES JUNE OFFICIALLY TRANS! BECAUSE HE HATES JUNE AND HE HATES WOMEN SO HE COMBINES THE TWO THINGS HE HATES INTO ONE (this is a joke, btw. I honestly want June's transitioning to be more in character then just the gremlin guy I like does it for me)

Ms Paint. becomes narrator of both Candy and Meat and it's just a podcast about different types of paint

Something related to The Midnight Crew's creator, Professor Mayasaka or however the fuck ya spell it, something translated into midnight. Whatever. I just wanna see the professor man come in and do something

JANE REVIVES AIMLESS RENEGADE SOMEHOW AND HE GOES GOD TIER! (His Classpect is Mage of Blood because I say so)

Sollux and Eridan kissing

B

Roxy breaks the fourth wall and says "it's Roxy Lalonding time" and Roxy Lalondes all over the place

A bucket appears and yeah

We see Andrew Hussie in a bath robe

Terezi manages to give back the legal rights to Beyond Canon back to their creators (sorry, I forgot your name, mister cool homestuck guy. I forget easily :'(]

Vriska dies. (I hate Vriska! (In a Kismesis way))

Equius comes back to say "I require horse" and then he gets prototyped with the universe frog

Matchsticks gets a personality and we learn he wants to become an actual fire fighter and save people since he was a kid

Stitch becomes hella cool by partnering with Kanaya to beat the shit out of Dirk

Rose just stays Rose because I forgot she existed

21 again but with Dave

June Egbert gets two new dads and they're Eggs and Biscuits from The Felt because it reminds her of her dead dad's cakes

Diamonds Droogs/Draconian Dignitary x Dad Crocker 20 hour oiled up make out session flash animation

Calliope has a child with Roxy. (comment what ya think they would be called)

Dirk eats a baby (it's John Egbert Strider Vantas)

AR gets to have a robo body and becomes friends with AR and Aradia and also Aranea is there to keep them in check and they call eachother the "AR squad", but Aranea is the out cast because she is blue

Eden Gardner (homestuck OC of @springselkie) gets a mention.

Monkeys become relevant to the plot

Jack Noir gets to show us his stabs

Bold Eagles are Aimless Renegade's second power, because he's the only AMERUCAN character in homestuck

Jake gets a beard and celebrates by showing us his level 100 GYAT

What Pumpkin office remains is an important location in the story

Mommy Condie comes back and marries Earth C's version of Colonel sassacres

Freddy Fazber, new character, literally the best. Hor hor hor hor.

Something related to drugs, I guess (I'm running out of ideas)

Fortnite becomes canon and everyone loves it

Deltarune reference

Jack Noir eats money and becomes lamborghini

Jack Noir villain arc where he and June kiss (their kismesis, it's ok. They want to kill eachother)

Rose's wifi is STILL shitty! COME ON, IT'S BEEN 10 YEARS, FIX YOUR INTERNET CONNECTION, GURL!

Kanaya gets to make something Lord English related

We see Doc Scratch because he's awesome

Wayward Vagabond comes back from the grave and does ANOTHER revolution against monerchy. He is truly the best diplomat.

MLP gets mentioned

Problem Sleuth shows up for 5 panels and then dies

Nepeta gets to kill Pickle Inspector

Eridan smokes weed

[S] Terezi: Do the mackarena

Weed chapter

Karkat gets a period cramp

Something something Lord English in black void, becomes normal Caliborn, being room mates with Equius, Gamzee and AR (auto-responder)

Free Bird fight sequence

Joe Biden gets a mention because he was probably in office before the clown fuckers took over D.C. Washington

Cockaine chapter

MSPA reader gets hella blazed and yeah

Caliborn kisses a rule 63 version of a Miku body pillow

Pic Yaoi sequence or smth

Sawbuck stays a fat fuck and eats the earth at the end

Itchy dies from tripping on a rock

Doze unslows himself and does a break dance

Trace and Fin make out session

Quarters gets to shoot ULT Dirk and is declared a war veteran

Bog from RHG shows up to eat a chocolate bar

I'm high

Ok, that was the end of this dumb shitpost. Hope ya got a kick out of it. Or not.

Wait

Shit

I should probably add an image so that I could look cool

Give me a sec

Yes, God of Yaoi.

Perfect for this.

See ya

[arcplaysgames]

OKAY I WENT BACK AND FIXED THE FLAG, lets roll

i'm gonna say it: futaba is the character that can go toe-to-toe with the casts of P3 and P4. she is so well written, so expansive, just the way she talks feels more alive, like allusions to her broader self. she's the one character who feels like she exists when she's not being observed on the screen.

she is Reverie's little sister and I love her to death.

Also when Reverie gives her a head pat (which is a thing I do to my mother to say hello) it's adorable, and it's clearly been so long since it's happened that it takes her off guard and she leaps away.

Baby steps, Futaba, you're getting there and I'm proud of you.

oh man i love how this game keeps making it agonizing as i turn people down!!!!

tho tbh none was worse than Ann, my god the Ann scene was so good I almost dated her just because the set-up.

but no, Futaba, i really thought about it, and you are a little sister.

(also, I am morbidly curious how the obligatory Christmas date goes without a romance. in P4G it was fucking delightful, but P5R has proven to be a fucking bastard if you don't romance someone. I wanna see if it can be worse than the Hawaii trip somehow.)

but jfc PERSONA! STOP THIS! LEMME SAY SOMETHING MORE PROFOUND! Lemme say "You're like a sibling to me" or "You're the best friend I could have hoped for," SOMETHING not just "Because we are teammates," it's so fucking cold!!!!!

yells

SEE

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT

I love that they have an in-joke. Futaba is absolutely Reverie's key item too.

okay so that's Hermit nearly a wrap, rank 9.

Time for the latest Beige News.

Akechi wants to go have a private conversation. Super private. No, even more private than that. He wants to have a chat in Mementos.

Morgana, I cannot BELIEVE you just let Reverie GO OFF TO MEMENTOS WITH AKECHI, who the fuck is gonna be around to drag Reverie's body back to the real world after? Someone needs to run up to Sojiro and meow like Lassie, okay.

But no, Morgana presumably is nervous about being an unwilling spectator to some hot makeouts so he's outie.

Points to Akechi's VA because my god it sounds like Akechi is actually having an emotion for the first time in the game.

For the curious, his emotion is Barely Restrained Murder Boner.

Unfortunately for you, bro, I just bribed Notigor with 60k yen to give me King Frost with Null Bless, so you are royally fucked. (Ba dum tish.)

This is so fucking horny I just stopped and laughed to myself for a while.

i'm fukcing cackling at this shit

Akechi would be like 50% more stable as a person if he just read Homestuck, honestly. The feeling that is burning in your chest/pants right now is called kismesissitude and it's totally fine, man. You are be max dramatic about your blackrom feels when you and Reverie could just be making out and leaving bruises on each other for fun.

But lets be real, if Akechi read Homestuck he'd unironically think Vriska did nothing wrong and then we'd have to kill him.

HE FUCKING THROWS HIS GLOVE AT REVERIE

He could be taking off a lot more than that if he stopped being weird about this blackrom thing but WHATEVER MAN, Y'ALL CAN HAVE HATE MAKEOUTS LATER I GUESS.

Pompous little windbag. I want to beat you up and make you wear something that isn't monochromatic to a hospital wall.

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #6: a5a2 part 2

this shit is so trippy and weird and honestly scary im actually scared. the context for the first image is that jade is entering a dream bubble for the first time since her dream self is dead. the second image is daves dreamself looking into the void and seeing like the horrorterrors. and then jade sees them too somehow in the dream bubble.... its honestly horrifying and has me quite perturbed.

it seems like she is also perturbed. and PISSED AWF

IM INCLINED TO AGREE WITH HIM. SUDDENLY HE SEEMS SENSIBLE AND NORMAL I WOULD SAY. I WOULD CALL HIM THESE THINGS.

this is so funny i thought this was just a jade karkat and future karkat interaction but then fucking dave just Appears out of nowhere . so cool

LOOK AT MY SON (do not look at his computer. we wont talk about it) HE IS SO REAL

okay so theres been tons happening but im pretty sure i never got an explanation as to why daves bro is just randomly on LOWAS (land of wind and shade) . and why jack knew he was there. like what are these freaks doing on my sons planet. should i keep calling him my son. gay daughter or thot son

hate these guys but love sword fights so net neutral (secretly cool)

DAVE SPRITE!!! weird that he also knew to come to lowas. i feel like i may be missing some critical information

they are so cute

this is how i talk to my friends on the internet. except maybe with meows

oh god i think this is where everything goes to shit . with umbral ultimatum as the soundtrack. really good song! anyway. gonna watch this now

this is so bad oh man oh god

well. at least theres this. L mans

stop talking to gray text stupid dumb. i think the fact that i find this funny proves that my brain needs to be studied

wow check out this awesome panel. vriska IS the fire. the irons.... are john? irons in the fire. its the thing she always says. i uh i think i lost the metaphor

YESSS HE DID IT HE DID THE [redacted]

what a fucking crazy amount of wind my son has just summoned. that is so much wind. its covering the whole planet!!!!

i love how matter of fact he is about it. like oh this giant swirling vortex covering my entire planet? oh i did that? oh thats cool.

i never read into this before but damn its crazy that feferi is dead here cause the last time we saw her she was literally fine. what could have happened..... ( i already know)

OH HELLYES . HELL FUCKING YES I LOVE THIS SONG

me to your fucking house

dawwwwww

no need to serve this hard??? but pop off i guess....

not you too....

er okay tavros just tried to make jade his girl friend without even really knowing her and he was being really annoying and kind of an asshole while doing it and then she let him down nicely but then vriska was like bro that was the worst thing i have ever seen and was very VERY mean to him about it (maybe even more than he deserved) and then admitted to being the reason why jack noir is a super powerful evil creature now AND BONUS SHE GOT A VERSION OF DAVE KILLED >:((((

i dont wanna dwell on that though because one of my favorite parts of the comic is coming up right now :3

fun fact: "heir transparent" "doctor" and "planet healer" are all songs of john egbert :D

ANYWAY ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!YESSSSSSSSILOVE GAMING !!!! SBURB

8888)

he did it :)

i think this is a good place to end this one . general thoughts right now? huge. pog. things are happening. plans are being formed. i kind of glossed over them but rose and dave are planning to explode the green sun. john just went god tier. and jade is finally in. on the trolls side of things we finally understand why their session went wrong at the last moment, but it seems like even more has gone wrong since weve seen them last? feferi is dead. tavros wants to kill vriska. what could possibly happen next. tune in next time . i dont know when it will be. probably tomorrow. what with all the waiting i'll be doing.

[prince--kiriona]

do ashes to ashes for the blorbos >:D

blorbo (favourite character, character i think about most): at all times i am rotating Lucien in my mind like a rotisserie chicken of bastard vampire crime lord. i love this ridiculous overdramatic man with all my heart I Would Kill For Her.

scrunkly (my "baby", character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Amaya owns my whole entire heart. she just!! wanted to garden!! and cook!! and have a nice normal life with her friends and family!! also you KNOW she used to be queen of the poofy lace dresses

scrimblo bimblo (unappreciated/underappreciated fave): Charity deserves the fucking world and i WILL give it to her. everyone in this story needs to appreciate her more and that 100% includes Lucien.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and i won't stop talking about it for a week): Yulia von Ludoviga. yes she gets like two page of screentime. yes i love her.

poor little meow meow ("problematic"/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): ...in the interest of not putting Lucien here as well I'm going to say Ulla. because let's be real here. She Is A Vriska

horse plinko (character i would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Damyen, because he'd probably enjoy it just as much as i would - masochistic bastard.

eeby deeby (character i would send to superhell): Serafine von Ludoviga. TERRIBLE villain, i hate her so goddamn much. would 100% send her to superhell

[jonathanrook]

I know how much you like mymusic so… *inhale* mymusic. fo the ask game. *floats away in a poof of pokeball effects*

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) to the surprise of absolutely no one ever it's scene, my daughter my baby girl my everything. i feel like of all my favorite characters even she's the most blorbo, as in if i tagged a post w her the op would 100% be like "what the everloving fuck are you talking about" and that's what we want babey

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) deffo dubstep every time he smiles i'm like that man is so shaped!! also nerdcore and obvs scene again tho

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) i would kill and die for rayna i'm obsessed w her!! also she's worked at mymusic so many times i think she should have been promoted to main character status. she's like, runner up for characters who act most like real people and i love that for her. sure the way she's written is coated in a thick layer of agist misogyny but that's not her fault i won't hold it against her. i am on my way to the f*nes' house tho i have an ax

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) i would argue there are no obscure characters in this show bc every joke is ran completely into the ground but regardless i have a few: -gorgol, obvs, bc in this house we stan canon sapphics. felicia day must work for free pizza or something bc how tf else did she end up in so many bad shows -punk!! comrade!! he may be canonically dead but he's not dead in my heart -vampire temp bc in this house we stan vampires. sure this is a problematic pick but everything's problematic let's get you some tea -lunch bc w that name you can't tell me she's not an nb icon no cis person is named "lunch" what the fuck

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) again i have two and it's literally just the series villains asdfghjk loco uno again has the "we hate women" problem w her writing but she's fun and the actress was really phoning it in no one on that set got paid enough for her to serve that hard. icon. she's also like half a point off from being a vriska so i think the f*nes should have just pulled the trigger and made her gay. also literally pookie hear me out tho okay he's cute and he's also the character who acts most like an actual person and we love that for him. he's easily the best written character in the show and ik that's not saying much but i'm gonna take what i can get.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) scene :( things have to get worse for her before they get better i'm sorry. in the end i would reward her w a pretty gf tho bc it's what she deserves.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) indie (affectionate) and melvin (derogatory) fucking hate flowchart i'm on my way to the f*nes' house i have an ax