#wait better yet
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even if I came to love humanity in the end, there’s no proof I was ever here, right?
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#my art#slow downer lyrics..i am applying them to dokja#please..i cant put the entire song lyrics but my god#'i called out an incoherent name in this new old world'#'i loiter in paradise the hope i was accustomed to blocked off my path of retreat'#literally agonised me#maybe this doesnt even make sense#the yjhs standing on the subway yellow lines overlooking the edge#but i kinda lost the plot here#its ok#havent even finished orv yet but whenever i think about the very concept of dokja i lowkey kms in my head for 80000 years#also 52hz's 'a dreamless sleep'#i guess just the sense of being untethered to the world with just this one thing keeping you still here#hits me hard#wait i linked the original slow downer version but obviously (see username) the niigo one is leagues better
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Ladies, gentlemen, and estimed others, I think we can officially say that jayvik wins over caitvi for biggest arcane divorce because hoLY SHIT-
#we have to wait a fucking WEEK?!#I mean this is obviously how we get game victor (he literally is called the machine herald here and even mentions glorious evolution!!)#but DAMN#I mean caitvi ain’t much better Caitlyn did move on real damn quick and vi was in her emo era#but they haven’t killed eachother (yet)#arcane league of legends#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#jayce talis#arcane jayce#jayce arcane#viktor#viktor arcane#arcane viktor#jayce x viktor#jayvik#rach rambles#mine
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headcanon that in the early days of their captivity Elrond and Elros tried to kill maedhros and maglor multiple times (even if half-heartedly. They are still good kids) and like, expected to be either punished, killed or thrown out and instead they got constructive criticism back
#Stabbing me in the leg? Really elros? You could have waited until I sat down so you could actually reach my chest#Or better yet wait till I'm asleep#No that's not cowardly that's SMART#listen Elrond poison is a great idea but did you not listen yesterday?#I explicitly told you that you would need more than that to kill an elf#kidnap fam#maedhros#maglor#elrond#elros tar minyatur#Elros#headcanons#the silm#the silmarillion#Funny
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Two Peas in a Pod: part 7/?
I'm so sorry for the delay. I struggled...
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"Jazz?" Blaster calls just loud enough for his mer to hear him. Now that the initial meeting was over, he wanted to take advantage of the break.
While understanding that the human was calling him over, Jazz was a bit hesitant that moving might start up the whole confrontation again. He glanced over to the other orca still floating a little ways away, •၊||၊၊၊ had his eyes closed and it looked like he was focused on dealing with the repercussions of his actions. His expression was twisted lightly in a restrained grimace with his right arm holding his side.
Slowly Jazz pushed himself further away, before turning over and swimming to the pier.
"Are you okay?" Blaster asked as he knelt at the edge.
With an uneasy look, he shamefully admitted, "it could have gone better…"
The chief vet speaks up before Blaster can, but not to Jazz, but into the radio. "Has anyone seen signs of reopening or blood?"
The Vet Chief wanted to fully isolate them from you, to keep them in a transfer-crate, at least until the injuries had a low risk of reopening.
Blaster shoots them an offended side-eye, as Jazz is literally right here. However, he pushed it aside, half listening to the radio chatter – all good from the sounds of it – and turned to what was more important. "Did he hurt ya?"
They'll take him away.
"I'm fine," he whispered, looking down as he placed a hand on his chest. It still stung, as the first hit was made with intent – he had gotten mad when it happened, did it show on my face, did they see it – and the rest, warning shots. "Just a bruise… it was more dizzying trying to keep away from him than anything."
–if the team reports you showing signs of aggression, they'll… remove him.
He hums in thought, eyes drifting momentarily as •၊||၊၊၊ disappeared from the surface. Blaster was a little nervous about that as he looked back at Jazz. "Do you think that you'll be okay, the two of you, I mean. Do you need us to separate–"
They'll take him away.
"No." Jazz insisted quickly, fighting to keep his voice low – behave – and shaking his head. "We should be fine now."
Blaster knew there was more going on, seeing as Jazz was soft spoken and avoiding eye contact; an old habit of hiding himself when speaking to staff, but it would have to be a talk for later. When Jazz felt safe enough to open up. So instead, Blaster smiled and said, "Alright. But me and a few others will be keeping an eye on you both throughout the day. Just to make sure you're both comfortable as you can be. It might be a bit rocky for the first few days, but that's okay, we were expecting that."
Jazz didn't respond, his attention had been captured by the other mer at the bottom of the pool, beneath him. He had been somewhat keeping an eye on him with his sonar, watching •၊||၊၊၊ slowly explore the tank.
Though, Blaster was just barely able to spot the other orca from the surface, and honestly wouldn't have noticed if not for Jazz. Pressing the call button on his radio, Blaster looked to the staff, "we've passed the first hurdle, everyone. We'll move onto doing rotation monitoring. Fred and Josh, you'll remain for the first shift. Everyone else, business as usual till I get a schedule in order."
"I've adjusted the medications and sedatives." The chief vet told Blaster, though didn't even look at him, as they were currently preoccupied sending messages on their phone. Not even a second later, Blaster's own was going off in his pocket.
"I'll look over your recommendations after." He sneered at them, though the vet had already turned to leave.
Then while folks celebrated the success and steadily wondered off to their main duties, Blaster's second brought up the mers breakfast from the kitchen. They set Jazz's down next to him, but held on to the other while they eyed the water with extreme caution.
"Ah, ya, no." Blaster spoke up before they even began to wind up, holding his hands out for the food. "Give it here, we are not chucking anything at him."
They snapped to him with wide, frightened eyes. Like Blaster hadn't been here to see the speeds that the wild mer had gone after Jazz. "You cannot be serious– you're going to attempt to pole feed him? Now–here? When they have the space to jump!?"
"No." He said with rising irritation towards their attitude and their poor handling of the situation. "I'm going to treat him the same as Jazz."
His second now looked flabbergasted, glancing between Jazz, him, out over the pool, and then back at him. "But–!"
Blaster pointed at both Jazz and up at the pair watching on the viewing deck. He wasn't stupid, he wasn't being reckless, he had been taking everything into account. And honestly, if he wasn't so mad about how the wild mer had been treated – and was just about to be treated – during meals, he'd probably be shaking in anxiety right about now. With a heavy sigh, he then carefully pulled the bucket from their hands to set it with the other, "look… I'm not trying to force you to do something you don't feel comfortable with. You're welcome to leave, I'll handle the meals and hopefully by the week's end, everyone will be feeling comfortable when it's time for food."
They took one last nervous glance at Jazz, before whispering – pointless, he could hear it clearly – "I don't think you can – or should rely on him to protect you… especially with how–"
"You're right," Blaster said deliberately louder than a normal speaking volume, "I am responsible for my own choices and actions. Thank you, for your concern. We'll talk in more detail later."
Thankfully taking the hint, they left.
Then the area was silent for a moment, save for the sounds of dawn songbirds being overruled by the sound of the scavenging birds of the morning. Starting to beg or fight for bits of food across the aquarium yard.
"They're right, you know." Jazz said weakly, still not looking at Blaster.
There might be other staff up on the deck that oversaw his pool, but one of the perks to being outside was that voices didn't carry as far unless one was intentionally loud. So they might as well have been the only two here.
It was just enough for words to come tumbling out, like he could talk freely once more. "I messed up, it wasn't his fault, he wants to be peaceful – I'm pretty sure, and I just… I think I ended up challenging him?"
"Jazz, listen, they misunderstood." He leaned over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm not expecting you to come to my rescue, or put yourself between me and him, or anything like that. I know very well that I may be putting myself in a potentially dangerous situation, and I'm ready to face whatever the outcome might be. But what I meant was, that with you here – just like this, with us together. You are showing him with your actions that you don’t see me as a threat. That by willing to be around me and allowing me to touch you, you’re showing trust. Jazz, buddy, you’re a far greater help than those goons posing up there." The last bit was meant to cause him to laugh, or at least smirk.
But when Jazz still seemed like he didn't believe him, Blaster made a small gesture for Jazz to look. In turning his head to see •၊||၊၊၊, the mer was at the far end with only his head above the water and had a serious gaze fixed on Jazz.
"It might not seem like it, even with what had just happened, but he's relying on you." He waved at the wild mer and smiled, before reaching for a bucket and held it up in offering. But •၊||၊၊၊ simply scowled further.
"I don't think Mr. prowl-around-you-like-you're-breakfast relies on anyone." Jazz grumbles in dismay.
Blaster chuckled and set the bucket back down, "well maybe Prowl, is waiting for you to invite him over for breakfast. He seems to hold some expectations of you."
"Ya, he sure– wait, Prowl?" Jazz whipped his head back towards Blaster, finally looking at him again.
"If it fits, it fits." He shrugged with an amused smile, "though, out of anyone here, it should be you that chooses a nickname for him for us to use. I don't want to keep addressing him namelessly or calling him 'the wild' one, and I don't want folks to think that us calling him 'buddy' is his name." Then he laughed as he glanced back out to the sour mer still watching them closely, "I mean, come on, does he look like a Buddy?"
Jazz tried to stifle his laughter, "n-no."
Good, good, Blaster was relieved to hear it. Jazz was starting to relax back into his usual self. Coming back up from the depths to the surface to breathe. "So, what will it be?"
Jazz's smile had slowly begun to return and so did his hopeful enthusiasm, "I think Prowl is good."
"I'll send out a notice to everyone." And be sure to tear down all those horrible sticky-note suggestions. "But I am going to still try and learn to say his name properly," Blaster then clapped the orca's shoulder before stretching, "so I hope you're ready to have the worst student ever."
"You're going to learn Mer," Jazz asked in surprise.
"Heh, I'm shit at learning languages, but I'd be happy if you want to share more of your world with me." He then brought them back to the next part of their day. "But first, breakfast. Want to ask Prowl to join us?"
"I'll try." He said, before turning around. Though gave a slight pause and adjusted his stance so his side was facing Prowl. When he saw a slight shift in his expression, one that eased some tension in his brow, Jazz gave himself a mental pat on the back. Already a marked improvement.
{You hungry, Prowler?} Jazz asked. It was sort of funny having a word he understood that could connect to the mer's name. He wasn't sure of the meaning of •၊||၊၊၊ yet, or if it had one. But prowling was something he did, so it still felt like Jazz had gained another tiny piece of who they were.
{Yes.} He answered, rising enough that his shoulders could be clearly seen, side facing Jazz for a beat, before he slowly began to swim over. Caution or taking it easy due to discomfort, his moments caused only the smallest and softest of ripples. Like a silent hunter.
Yet, it made Jazz’s smile shift a bit higher. Prowl is prowling.
But for Blaster, his instincts were starting to claw up his spine, alerting him of a predator. He was forcing himself to relax and keep up his friendly smile by the time Prowl came within five feet of the pier.
Prowl eyed him up and down as he came to a stop, then gently turned after a moment.
"Oh, right!" Jazz abruptly speaking up in slight alarm cause Blaster to flinch – which in turn caused a moment of internal panic, because sudden movements are always a bad idea – but Jazz quickly reached up over the pier and grabbed the human by the legs – which caused Prowl to flinch, and oh-boy, was Blaster having flashbacks of close calls – twisting him so he sat with his shoulder turned towards Prowl. "Pretty sure that facing toward him is like telling him you want to challenge them."
"R-really," Blaster asked, both trying to distract from his thundering heart and focus on the new information.
"I think so? He kept telling me to stop doing it, before I realized what he was talking about, so it has to be some sort of an aggressive sign." They both looked back to Prowl, who seemed a little tense, but otherwise calm. {You okay, Prowler?}
{Yes.} His voice firm and serious, but did not look at Jazz when he answered.
"… Guess we're ready." We’re good, but he must still be uncomfortable with what happened.
Blaster handed Jazz his bucket first, hoping it would make the next easier. But then Blaster paused, seeing a distant look in his mer's eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." Jazz fiddled with the bucket in his hands, but Blaster was still holding onto the handle. Not that taking it would be difficult, but it didn't feel like it was worth the effort.
"Jazz…" he pressed softly.
And Jazz retreated, "I… I don't feel hungry."
At least he was being honest about it.
Blaster had hoped that taking some time to talk would have helped to improve Jazz's current mental state. And it had a little. But his guilt over the misunderstanding with Prowl and the bad history with the chief vet were likely weighing too heavily on him. And as much as Blaster wanted to take the time and work through everything with Jazz, he couldn't right now, or rather Jazz would be unwilling.
Because Prowl was present. Even with a language barrier, Blaster didn't expect Jazz to feel comfortable having a personal conversation with him so close. But if Jazz didn't eat, then it was likely that Prowl wouldn't either. The trust was thin as it was, and hesitating too long – and not being able to explain why – would only make rebuilding trust harder. So, offering to use the holding pool and close the gate wasn't something they could do at the moment. And he hated it.
Blaster had to do something now to help restore Jazz's confidence and stop the spiralling of whatever thoughts were holding him back.
Good thing he was prepared for Jazz possibly becoming stressed.
"Hang on." Blaster said, his smile impish as he pulled the bucket back to set on the pier. Though, not wanting to risk Prowl backing off from him standing, he flopped back reaching for his bag strap, barely snagging it with the tips of his fingers. But he managed and pulled himself back up with it settling in his lap. "I've brought a little somethin."
Jazz didn't seem interested but waited none the less. Watching as Blaster pull out a huge plastic food-container – ... okay, he was slightly curious now and a little annoyed, because if he was going to tease him–
But then Blaster shook it with the biggest grin, and as the contents clunked around softly, Jazz's whole face lit up. Because what Blaster had just offered was the equivalent of a chocolate bar. There weren't many things that Blaster brought for him in a container, but there was only one that made that sound. "Moose jerky!?"
"Shh! Not so loud." He glanced up at the other staff, like he was doing something that would get him in trouble. But it wasn't a secret that Blaster made these treats for Jazz. And while it still pissed off the chief vet, there was nothing they could do about it.
It had caused a site wide outrage the first time he had done it. But orcas ate moose – the orca mers more so than the animals – even if it was mostly if there just happened to be one in front of them rather than an active hunting choice. But there was enough history, and with Blaster's dietary knowledge, he had won that battle.
He just chose to mix it up a little, rather than bring in raw meat. Not so different than some sun-dried fish really. And Blaster personally prepared it to make sure it was safe. Seasoning was just sea salt, simple, but tasty.
Jazz was now buzzing with eager energy. "Can I share with Prowl?"
"You’d better," Blaster laughed as he opened it and handed Jazz two strips that were almost the size of dinner plates. He could have tried to use it to mend the trust between him and the wild mer. But Blaster knew it would help Jazz foster his relationship with Prowl and that was far more important.
The whole time Prowl had been watching them and their exchange with intense focus, trying to figure out what was going on. So, when Jazz turned to him with a huge smile and held out what looked to be a piece of thin wood, he was wary.
{It's good!} Jazz wanted to say it was amazing, but unfortunately 'good', 'okay', 'safe' was all he currently had to work with.
After Prowl finally gave in and moved in close enough to take the offering, Jazz laid out on the surface. Careful not to get his food wet as he happily began to bite and tear small strips off. Taking delight in the satisfying sensation of the treat ripping and savouring the flavour as he chewed the tough meat.
Seeing how much Jazz was enjoying himself, Prowl took a tentative bite and immediately understood why. The look of surprise on his face had the other two laughing.
{Good, yes?}
{Yes.} Prowl then followed Jazz's lead and relaxed on the surface, enjoying the first piece of decent food since he arrived.
Blaster chuckled at the sight of the two of them and set aside the container to dig out his own personal stash to nibble on. "I've got more for you two sea otters, but only after you finish your breakfast."
Smoothing things over by sharing snacks always opened opportunities for bonding. Good ol' comfort food saving the day.
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Idk, this one felt very clunky to me, but I must move on -lays on the floor in defeat-
I'm now trying to put together a timeline of the all interactions that you share or like on your blog. Like a countdown clock to the flood/jailbreak, hitting all the angsty and fluffy notes, I want to make sure I can include everything. Q~Q
You and so many others have been showering me in praise and encouragement I want to live up to it. ♡(╥︣﹏᷅╥᷅)♡ I love you all, thank you so much!!
Going forward there is going to more Jazz and Prowl, without Blaster, I promise. Please forgive me and my long setups, my brain struggles with keeping things short, everything I write is a 200K+ slow burn. -cries-
-GLC
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OH HELL YEAH GIVE THOSE GUYS A MOOSE THEY DESERVE IT KDDKSHFV

Blaster over there is having battles on all fronts possible alsjfnfjnf
Also I'm happy they can have proper food at least sometimes~ Although I can't help but think that like. Jazz is happy because this poor moose is kind of a rare treat. Nice occasion gift you know. And then Prowl also loves the moose but in more "I was eating nothing but raw potatoes for a while and now there's a properly seasoned and cooked meal again" way. You know. Cause mers have all kinds of different foods in their cities and stuff~ While humans just go "here's your fish".
Anyway haha. The scene is so cute I love itt~

#he's pr. he's prowling#kamfnfkdmdhdkjdbdjdmdbdhd#the day is automatically better when there's two peas i#Jazz: I'm pretty sure I was displaying aggression#Jazz some time later after learning fish etiquette: *head in hands* N O#Funny thought. I just imagined Prowl thinking that Jazz is a bratty teenager but then at some point they have this conversation about#-numbers and stuff. And Prowl is basically goes WAIT. Not a teen NOT A FUCKING TEEN the guy is just being raised in awful environment???#that's not funky teenage growing that's a mer who doesn't get enough of anything in his life. not enough space to move so not enough movi-#-moving so not enough eating so not enough weight so NOT ENOUGH ANYTHING#Prowl is so busy worrying about that new strange place#he doesn't realize (yet) the actual way of it damaging Jazz#..........fuck imagine when he finds out that Jazz performs for humans#................that's gonna be a stong emotion.#GLC#apocalyptic ponyo#ponyo writing#ponyo jp writing#I love this chapter so much><#can't wait to see what it's gonna be like without all the humans around dkgkgnhrhd#JP are often meet and bond in very fucked up situations lol. But I'm sure the lack of humans might help~#glc I love you and your setups#the atmosphere is so there I can basically taste it
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domain expansion
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#jjk 264#yuuji#help she entered a fugue state and finished a painting in 7 hours again#I still wish with all my heart that wed gotten megumi but HOLDS UP YUUJI THATS MY BOYYYYYYY#god his face is Messed Up i feel so bad#but i do think this is how ill go about drawing the injuries from now on :'>#just a Mess of flesh tones on that boy :((((( maybe shoko can kiss it better#anyway towards the end of drawing this my llsif pilled brain supplied 'domain expansion: happy party train' and i think its a keeper#yuuji if u havent picked a name yet pls consider thank u <3#a train station tho......as much of a vibe as it is i SUFFERED#the high ceilings full of pipework...the parallel lines....thank god i make the rules and dont actually have to detail it all#i love u vague lines that convey Essence Of Room#i think it works !!! i feel like im waiting fr a train n watching time slow around me as the lights stretch#btw the rake brush is SO good fr making lil bits of stretched light like u r squinting . i love it i have fun#anyway enjoy !!! him!!!! we r truly in yuuji kaisen i never Once doubted my boy
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(guy who has never played cotl) haha au time
#this started as a design exercise bc i couldnt get sphinx/devon rex narinder out of my head#but the whole time i was thinking man imagine if the lamb brings him in as a follower but nobody knows he was actually. you know#and the followers are like haha wow our leader channels the power and wisdom of the one who waits almost as if they were them#would that be cool or what. anyway heres narinder reassuming his pre-bishop form and everything his flesh remembers before godhood#ok now im gonna ramble abt design notes#the singe marks were inspired by fallen angels like how some ppl say they burned while falling from heaven. i wanted smth like that when#the lamb is resurrected by nari.. their outfit is inspired by papal cloaks while narinders is based on crusader armor#the lambs name 'bellwether' is also a term used for sheep that wear a bell and lead the flock and i thought that was cool#idk what the thuribles do yet but i do have smth in mind where theyre linked together. and ofc the lamb has a shepherds staff#very proud of nari's little devil tail!! and it was hard to see bc its so dark but he has wrinkles around his forehead to conceal his#third eye. even he isnt aware of it (for now)#idk where im going with this au i just have a bunch of ideas?? basically the lamb is keeping nari's identity a secret from him so he doesnt#go down that path of powerhungry destruction. smth like trying to lead him down a better path but feels guilty lying to do that#also theyre in love with each other and theyre stupid pining idiots abt it. mwah#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#the one who waits#cotl the one who waits#narilamb#art#au#myart#my art#character design#cotl au#false prophet! au
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late(?) birthday gift for sec uuuh whoops
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#ava tsc#ava the second coming#happy birthday favorite child!#since in the avg thumbnails alan is always portrayed as a solidhead yet we all draw him as a hollowhead i had a vision#uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh um. yeah sorry its not much#happy birthday to tdl too! lets see if he lives to see the next ye... uhhhh wait hold on that could be worded better#sorry for the prev tag. anyways chat how are we doing toda#lilacsart
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needed to draw something this year for tomes bday...really wanted to draw her highschool friends
#anybody else get a lil choked up that she was able to find some girl friends and find connections with them... just me?#idk i think its so sweet how focused the spinoff was about this group of normal highschool girls... theyre not even espers or anything#my baby really has grown up!! <- reigen probably after offering her 300 yen an hour#i had to guess the hair colors for 3 of them cuz like well... theres no damn reigen spinoff ova yet...! they dont got official colors!!#wait hoshida doesnt have official colors either... he better be a brunet its canon to me at this point#also after reading the spinoff manga i realize i draw hoshida so small... hes a third year and is probably not nearly as short as i think..#my bad if ur a kid i just assume ur under 5'3 half the time... what a bad habit... ill draw him more taller next time lolo#my art#mp100#mob psycho 100#reigen spinoff#tome kurata#hoshida origo#wait their names...?? i only know keiko and misa... i think the fujos name is yume... i dont know the joke girls name!! sorry i cant tag...
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inspired by spinel now canonically being a bread person. projecting my most common lunch onto him
#nothing hits better than day old jimmy john's bread and arizona green tea#pokemon horizons#pokeani#anipoke#pokemon hz#spinel pokemon#pokemon spinel#my art#waiting until tommorow to lose my mind over the ep. ive watched it but subs arent out yet sigh#VERY EXICTED THOUGH. that is an understatement
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I honestly just wanted one single plot step that I could not predict given the 10 year wait. More behind the cut, I talk about Emet too, and I'm comparing his writing favorably to Solas' writing and why it worked better for me personally, but I am just talking about the writing skill that went into the games and not the dudes themselves, I love them both dearly of course. idk this is a mess and I am not going to edit it for clarity
For me, the game was a series of me saying
"ok I knew that. cool."
"oh yeah, I knew that. I guess it's good that the larger fandom knows about that now."
"nice, but yeah I already knew that too"
"that was something we've been talking about a lot for years"
"this thing they are acting like is a huge enormous reveal that the characters could not possibly have deduced through simply thinking about it in depth over the 10 years... the fans easily figured out by thinking about it in depth 10 years ago. So you would think his girlfriend would be able to figure it out more easily than we did. Like, why couldn't the game have been like 'oh lavellan already figured that out a while ago' it would have cost them nothing"
"this is something I've been thinking about for years, and now that it's being revealed, the companions' reactions to it are very irritating and jarring and unnecessary and I really dislike the experience I'm having right now, in this, the hour of my greatest triumph"
"this thing that is happening on my screen right now is something that I wrote an essay about 2 years ago describing how it would be a letdown if it happened without the correct setup"
"this way that they're characterizing Solas makes him less likable and less interesting than I have been finding him for all these years, and I have had people tell me 'no, he's simpler than you think' for years but I guess I was wrong, he really is simpler than I thought, so that fucking sucks. I wish I could take that information out of my brain."
"this thing is a retcon of information I have been thinking about for 10 years, and so I don't know how to follow along with this new direction, and I'm not sure if I even want to because it's not particularly interesting anyway"
"aw that was sweet"
"why is it like, so very impossible to have an honest back-and-forth with my favorite character about the dilemma that was most interesting to me about the previous game"
and then, as soon as, like, the other fans had caught up to the Solas lore that was really obvious from the other games, the game was.... over without anything surprising happening, or introducing a new element or plot point or perspective, or a real true twist (or two, or three) for those of us who have thought about it too hard for too long. It was very simple and easy, much, much, much, much easier than I was imagining. It all felt sort of like that Nicholson quote:
The thing was, the whole story was so interesting to think about because in 10 years, I couldn't figure out a good solution to it!!!!! It's why I was never able to write post-game fanfic about it. So I was stoked to find out some reveal we never knew about, some new information, in maybe a SERIES of steps of new information, that made the situation more complicated but also something that could be navigated by everyone involved. I know it was asking for a lot, but they had TEN YEARS, and they seemingly had set up the things they did in DAI on purpose, so surely they had some idea of a complex and satisfying narrative that would reconcile everyone.
The reason why I was expecting this is because FFXIV did a very similar story arc, which was started AND concluded WITHIN those 10 years (so it took the FFXIV team far less time to deliver as well). And the conclusion to the story in FFXIV did what I was expecting Dragon Age to do. So I thought, "holy shit, if this is the FFXIV version of this plot, how much more complicated is DA4 going to be!?!?" The DA devs also PLAYED FFXIV so they were completely aware, several years ago, of a satisfying story ending that was pretty darn similar.
People are probably going to think "oh, well Chelsea was disappointed because she spent too much time building it up in her head" but that's exactly it - I actually speculated and thought about FFXIV's story IN DEPTH NONSTOP for a year+ before its ending came out, and the ending absolutely blew me away. FFXIV Endwalker managed to introduce information and new story elements that I was not able to figure out in the YEAR I spent speculating on the ending of FFXIV's story. It took a complicated situation and revealed several several more facets to it that I was not able to predict, but were very interesting and thematically compelling, and took us all to surprising and climactic places that we could not have predicted.
Endwalker ("end" is in the title on purpose) too, was written to be THE ULTIMATE SATISFYING ENDING for a very long-running story in the exactly way that Veilguard SHOULD HAVE for Dragon Age, so while this complexity is being explored, FFXIV also gave catharsis to many different plot threads that have been built up through the previous expansions, until finally it ends with a bang. The story is desperately good to me, I loved it, it gave me closure for Dragon Age long before Veilguard was even revealed, and going back and looking at its story has made this whole thing far less painful for me.
So, I actually did not have a picture in my mind for how things SHOULD go. I just had the thought "I hope it's complicated and there are points of view or facts that we haven't before been exposed to, and the situation is resolved respectfully for Solas, not making him look like a fucking idiot (lol, the only thing I asked for). I don't even care what happens to Solas and Lavellan, I just need the story to be complicated and interesting to think about. Please, god, don't let it be "solas is wrong and he just needs to be convinced" because that's like the simplest story you could tell with this setup"
(btw they managed to tell Emet-Selch's story without making him seem like he's being an idiot on purpose or can never get anything right, and in fact the more the story goes on, the more you think of him as smart and capable and cool, so it is possible to write.... I wasn't asking for the entire moon)
And I played it and... yeah. Most of the story beats were more simple than I wanted them to be, a lot of them didn't make sense in my heart given the writing from Inquisition. (This is another essay, but if Solas' thematic story arc was always about him needing to let go of regrets, why was his personal quest the way it was? After that quest, doesn't he end up regretting not doing more....? Why did he never really talk about regret during Inquisition? If he was so trapped by regret, why was he able to do so many actions? It doesn't mesh well to me. The whole regret thing was very quarter-baked to me, I don't even like thinking about it.) His story never seemed like one that was as simple as being about one man's regrets, but then, I guess, it was always just about one man's regrets.
Emet-Selch's personal storyline (and the way it interacts with and affects the larger story) is very similar but much more cohesive and satisfying to me. It would be difficult to explain why without the aforementioned 5-hour essay. Emet-Selch's story IS about grief and anguish on a world-shaping scale in a similar way that Solas' was apparently always about letting go of regret, but Emet's story was also very pointedly and beautifully about that one theme for the entirety of his story from every tiny detail, from beginning to end - meanwhile, it seemed to me that they tried to introduce 'regret' as the main thrust of Solas' story only in the short story with the Regret demon onward.
From Inquisition just by itself, the closest I personally could get to a story theme for Solas was his inability to trust others hurting him and the world, but his trusting others in DA4 wasn't really addressed to my satisfaction. He is never required to trust anyone before the ending, he never opens up or makes himself vulnerable at all. People find out information about him, he never really dynamically opens himself. So the personal story I thought he had was never addressed at all, while a new one about regret was introduced that never made a ton of sense to me. And I don't think this is just because of my expectations - my reaction to FFXIV proves that I am able to meet good writing where it goes in surprising directions, as long as it's interesting and thoughtful and clear.
And I think this might be part of what people felt was off about the ending - Solas is sort of uninvolved in the revelations that are about him, and doesn't do much to be part of his own ending. Part of what I loved about Solas in Inquisition is that he is not controlled by you in any way, and so he feels like his own person with a very strong sense of character.
Anyway, Emet-Selch, in a very comparable and arguably more extreme plot position, is very involved in the revelations about himself, he always feels like a very strong character who cannot be affected by the player, and the whole situation is handled with deft emotion and care and delicacy. The story is comparatively very uninterested in litigating Emet-Selch or putting him on trial - the story allows you to simply feel the way that you feel in an organic way, and Emet's story spends that energy instead actually exploring his thematic material about grief and legacy, and the larger story theme of existentialism instead, in a way that is very refreshing and interesting. I've seen a lot of western stories tie themselves in knots over "redemption" and frankly it's almost never been interesting at all. Who cares about any of that. lol
(Now, I guess this is a matter of preference, because some people really like being able to shape a character's story, but idk I rewatched the ending of FFXIV and even though there wasn't a choice with Emet, because it isn't a branching story, his story felt more satisfying to me, maybe because there isn't a patronizing choice to be made for him. He is who he is, and he fulfills a very beautiful narrative role and purpose that no other character could in the story.)
I don't know how this could have been improved to me and still allowed players to choose Solas' ending for him, but I can actually think of a few different methods, none of which involve Rook condescendingly and patronizingly lecturing Solas as if Solas had never thought about a single aspect of this horrible situation he's in before that very moment that Rook lectures him lmfao.
All this to say... idk I'm writing this and I am not going back to edit it so it's stream-of-consciousness. But yeah
I just wanted the story to be complicated on a few more levels than I could have predicted. I genuinely don't care what happened, but I thought of a few twists like the Veil coming down and yeah, I was expecting A Single Twist or reveal to happen. In a Dragon Age game.
I wanted Solas to seem cool and capable and noble and smart, and actually feel like he was as old and experienced as he is.
I wanted a clear theme I could sink my teeth into
Like notice I didn't even say anything about Solavellan. Like I never in 100 years thought they were getting a happy ending where they were both alive in bodies, and I like that we got that, but I would honestly trade it for a more complicated story. To me, if a story is sad you can always write fanfic, but if a story isn't COMPLICATED, that's a much more urgent issue.
These 3 things DA4 didn't give me in a way that satisfied me but FFXIV did. anyway idk the way my hyperfixations work, I completely switch to a new subject so talking about Dragon Age is actually hard for me right now.
#DA4 critical#Dragon Age#FF14#meandering and I don't know what I'm talking about here idk#it's hard to be more clear without getting out very specific examples and I'm not ready to do that yet - I would need to map out the plots#like there are direct 1-to-1 comparisons and for a couple of them Dragon Age is more interesting (mostly stuff in Trespasser) but#like most of them... most of them are better or more successful or more impactful in FFXIV#I think the thing that kills me most is Emet-Selch comes out of FF14 looking capable and wise and thoughtful and Solas does not and#that actually kills me inside... solas is literally a spirit of wisdom#I might need to make that video to explain#anyway FFXIV proves that I CAN be very happy and satisfied with a story even after waiting more than a year and hard speculating about it#so the problem is not my raised expectations - the problem is the lack of complexity
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goat and lamb qpr save me. save me goat and lamb qpr
#GOO IF YOU SEE THIS I DIDNT TAG YOU CUZ I WANNA WAIT TILL I MAKE SOMETHING BETTER SJFHJKHDSF#LOVE YOU#MWAH#cotl#cult of the lamb#lamb x goat#why has nopony drawn lamb w/a bonnet yet. its so obvious#spacie scribbles#lamb cotl#goat cotl#new hcs time lets go
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#tlovm#tlovmedit#critical role#critteredit#vox machina#the legend of vox machina#scanlan shorthalt#pike trickfoot#pikelan#BE NICE TO ME GUYS THIS IS MY BEST ONE YET#i didnt want to wait to post it at a better time
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— Alex Lex Luthor & Jimmy Olsen in My Adventures With Superman, "More Things in Heaven and Earth" (2.01)
+ bonus:
#my adventures with superman#maws#mawsedit#dcedit#dcmultiverse#maws spoilers#lex luthor#jimmy olsen#maws 2x01#maws 2x02#my gifs#okay fine the pathetic wet cat and mad scientist energies have pulled me in#an ideal combination of lex characteristics I fear#and this was such an unexpectedly sweet little moment#even though poor jimmy has no idea that he just gave clark's future nemesis the exact pep talk that he needed lol#I kinda hope he and lex stay friendly and continue to interact here and there without either of them knowing the Wider Implications™#or better yet they should date— wait what who said that hahaha certainly not me 👀
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I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.
#messyr#doodle#vent art#idk what im feeling but im just really tired- pessimistic and agitated lately#overthinking stuff about growth as a person LMAO. Envy that builds inferiority then dissolves into insecurity ew#ive yet to accept the truth that it will never get better- so i can only be there for others until i watch them go.#And I walk back to the same cage where I grew- bc the cage is all I know. I'd watch from afar and wait- wait for what? Idk#Genuinely happy and proud to those who worked hard for that success-- an ugly thought whispers to me thinking why cant I have the same#well- people w the same situations as me- knows how unfair life is so we work twice as hard. but sometimes... It's-- not enough.#And to an unfortunate fate- it'll never be enough. and it feels as if you amount to nothing.#I've been stuck for so long- I'm convinced enough that I cannot be helped. Still I cling onto the tiniest spark of hope.#bpd#abuse mention
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So because of the length of the new DW seasons, Ncuti has been doctor for I believe only 5 more episodes than Christopher Eccleston. Now I love 9 he is one of my favourite Doctors I think it’s an absolute crime he didn’t get more time and the situation around that is criminal too, but I’m gonna put that aside for a second.
A Doctor who has had 2 companions, the return of multiple major Classic Who characters, references to the MASSIVE lore changes during the previous era, as well as involvement in currently two specials has FIVE more episodes than one of the shortest incarnations of the Doctor.
Now I can’t find anything concrete that Ncuti’s run is ending after this season, only comments that he hasn’t been ‘axed’ but no dispelling of the rumours of regeneration (or show cancellation lets be real), but if he is leaving??? That feels so wrong.
The length of these seasons is appalling we don’t get enough time to develop ANYONE properly, almost every episode seems to be out competing the others, and the huge classic Who things the entire fandom is talking about have taken place over what is to be THREE episodes. Obviously they’ll likely continue into possibly further seasons but now? With Ncuti? With Varada? It’s three episodes.
Eight episodes will NEVER be enough to tell stories like these. Longer seasons allow for an episode or two that feel a little out of character because we have enough to come back around with whereas eight episodes doesn’t do that - Belinda’s immediate forgiveness and affection after seeing the Doctor torture someone is the best example so far, she literally Would Not Act Like That.
I hope this isn’t the end for Ncuti, him as the Doctor is what’s keeping me watching every week because I LOVE where he’s taking it. I just wish the plot and scripts allowed for more exploration of his version of the character and his wants and wishes (lol) and Ruby and Belinda’s character arcs (if you can even call them that).
I hope I eat my words I hope he gets more time I hope characters start to feel fully fleshed out. Mostly I hope we see the end of 8 episode seasons and go back to actual creative freedom and not a streaming set up show. I hope a lot of things.
#i am … enjoying Ncuti’s seasons but I’m currently doing a huge rewatch of new who and im onto season 6 and god the writing was just so much#better#do not get me wrong there are MANY terrible episodes#but with longer seasons you can flesh them out with pure brilliance and it even puts elements of the bad episodes into behavioural context#for example with 11 and amy and rory i have a hundred issues but i also have two hundred things i adore about them#do i wanna shake moffat a little bit yeah#do i also wanna shake his hand for his monster creation and overall story arcs?? yeah!!!#the new new stuff just….feels disjointed#it feels like it’s compensating for 8 epsidoes by going for wow factor every time and that’s just#not doctor who#there have been some episodes ive really enjoyed like dot and bubble the well (i hate that i enjoyed it but i did) and the story and the#engine but the rest fall somewhere in ‘eh’ to ‘ugh’#and i KNOW ME because many i enjoyed as i was watchjng then about an hour to a week later j went ‘wait that wasnt actually that good it#just had a banging score that took me on an emotional journey’ bc j am RULED by music#i just i love the costuming i love ncuti’s acting i love ELEMENTS of the world building but it just feels disjointed rushed and like it’s#throwing glitter at you to distract you#it doesnt feel….human??? anymore idk thags the best way i can describe it#we dont get enough pure human connection anymore#and i mean that in an emotional sense not a species sense😂#something very key is that neither of his seasons have made me cry yet because i’m just not invested enough in anyone#love watching him cry though you beautiful man#kai.txt#doctor who#dw#dr who#idk if i should tag spoilers bc im VERY vague and if you havent got the main tag blocked by now you’re fucked for the clasdic who stuff#ncuti gatwa#ncuti!doctor#verada sethu#belinda chandra
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You said you would always look at me.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 9
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#pdribs#userrain#userjjessi#userspicy#*cajedit#*gif#im fine i say (im a puddle on the floor) sometimes u gotta gif something already giffed to color it your way...& for all the little details#the deep relaxed breath chen yi takes in the first gif Before he recgonizes ai di...yet is still soaking up the sight of him...#vs the third gif where chen yi pulls back just the tiniest increment to get a better glimpse like...wait...ai di.#and the fourth where his eyes flick over ai di's face like... oh. *ai di.* EVERY MINUTE SHIFT IN HIS GAZE MEANS SOOOO MUCH#and ai di too the way he cant meet chen yi's eyes & the tear falling like theres something so poignant abt chen yi having this realization#and ai di not seeing it. but he's still stroking chen yi's arm? the heartbreak in that. the love in that. & then ofc chen yi reaching up#to meet ai di where he is before bringing him back down to him....his eyes opening a fraction when he feels another tear. checking in...#telling him its okay with his kisses. chen yi's hand sliding around ai di's chest to the back of his neck instead. ai di's fingers brushing#chen yi's neck as his tear slides down chen yi's face...how we dont SEE their hands clasp but we see the way they move to make it happen.#we watch as it becomes more and more mutual.... and finally the thing that makes me the most insane:#ai di's tear sliding down chen yi's nose & back to his own face in the last gif. i cant even. talk about that. just... GOD.
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