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mayfieldss · 10 months

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If only you knew, I can see you - Carmen Berzatto

Content Warnings; language, sexual innuendos, small fights, the not-so-subtle Taylor Swift lyrics. Mentions of blood / minor injuries, and Carmy shouting his lungs out.

Summary: [ requested by @diorrfairy ]- hi! i'd like to ask a one shot on Carmy where him and the reader are secretly in love with each other. she particularly gets turned on when he's screaming in the kitchen, giving out orders and being bossy. and even though she doesn't know, he's noticed the way she looks at him when he's like that.

AN; I was so excited to write this concept, so thank you for sending it in. Also, I need him carnally. (I am so sorry about the end, I went kind of feral, and I feel as though I need to apologise)

Carmy had never been in love before, and honestly, he didn't know how he was supposed to tell what love was when around someone like you. But he knew that he liked you more than words could describe, and he knew that it was impossible for you to feel anything near the same. But somehow, he'd caught wind of something that might indicate otherwise.

Mid-day, on Tuesday. It had yet to reach the middle of the week, and the restaurant was packed to the brim for a reason unbeknownst to Carmy. He couldn't quite believe it, the stacks of people piling out the door to get a sandwich of all things. But Carmy was determined to serve every one of them because business was good, and he couldn't afford to turn a single customer away.

This idea, however, this impossible task set before every chef to serve every person, had its downfalls.

"Where the fuck is Marcus?" Carmy is moving fast, faster than he thinks he's ever moved in a kitchen of this size, shifting from station to station. "Where are the fuckin' cakes?"

He's being loud and not particularly nice, but Carmy can't afford nice right now. Not until the customers outside get what they ordered.

"Chef!" Carmy shouts your way, "Where the fuck are the onions?" His brows are raised in expectancy, and he stands waiting for your reply.

"Tina is on onions, Chef." You wave to her as you shift past Sydney and Carmen finds himself rushing over to your station.

"Behind, behind, god dammit, fucking behind!" The continuous shouts of the word fall from him as he moves past Richie and Ebra, headed straight for you.

"You got the peppers?" He asks, leaning over your shoulder, his breath brushing against your ear as he does so. He watches your shoulder shift, glancing at the chopping board that so clearly holds what he needs. He nods to you, "Good." And then he takes them away, whisking them off to a pot across the kitchen, despite the one by your side.

That was the first time Carmy noticed it. The way you looked at him differently. You didn't seem scared of his shouting, though, he couldn't be sure, but he thought there was something else behind your eyes. Something similar to how he would secretly look at you when he knew you couldn't catch him. So, weeks later, when the same situation occurs, a different day with different yet similar stakes, Carmy takes note of your reactions.

"We're moving too fucking slow, c'mon Chefs, move it. Now!" He hates to yell at them, but really, he's got no other choice than to raise his voice in the kitchen because, in truth, everyone else is being just as loud.

"Fuck!" His shout is deafening as he moves through the kitchen "Three more beef all-day chefs!"

Everyone in the kitchen choruses back to him, and he's grateful for the fact that they are at least listening to the important parts, but still, the stress keeps gathering inside of him like water filling his lungs. "Richie! What the fuck are you doing?" the man is standing with the freezer door open, looking inside as if he's a child at the fridge. Richie turns when he hears Carmy call him though, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hate to break it to you cousin, but the freezer ain't freezing shit."

That's Carmy's last straw, and suddenly the panic is spilling out of his mouth in a chorus of curses and orders. "Richie, bring out all the meat. All of it, and somebody call fucking Fak!" He takes a breath, snatching up a crate of vegetables as he moves. "Please." He adds, though his tone is still just as sharp.

And that's when he sees it, sees you out of the corner of his eye. You're watching him as you stir a pot at your station, and it seems as though you're holding your breath. Holding your breath just like he holds his own when he sees you. And for a split second, in the middle of his anger, he thinks he might have a chance. But then you exhale and go back to your work as if you hadn't been eyeing him up at all.

But he noticed. He knows what he saw. He's sure of it, isn't he?

He's right of course. You're just as infatuated with him as he is with you, but he can't ever know it. He's your boss after all and a relationship with him? Well, that would end more than messy. And yet you can't help but watch him, the way his hands and arms flex as he works. The way the veins in his neck show themselves as he shouts, voice booming—and if you dare to say it—hot.

He can't notice, and you don't think that he does.

The day continues the way it started, stressful and intense and when Fak finally arrives to fix the freezer Carmy has to resist the urge to give Richie an earful as the man stands talking to him, wasting time. But Richie doesn't shut up, and Carmy doesn't think it's actually possible for him to do so, and with each word that leaves his lips, he prevents Fak from getting to work on the broken freezer.

"Richie!" He yells from his station, "Please, for the benefit of everyone here, shut the fuck up!" His voice is strong, deep and when Richie ignores him it only makes things worse. "Cousin, I swear to god—"

"What're you gonna do Carmy? What are you gonna do? Because by the looks of it, you're too caught up in your fancy sauces to fuck with me right now!" Richie belts the words back, and it's a warzone suddenly as the two battle it out with words. Carmy has moved on to serving, organising each ingredient into its respective sandwich with you at his side, sliding freshly cut ingredients his way.

"Believe it or not Cousin, you don't own this place. I do, and I will kick your ass out of it if you don't be fucking quiet!"

Carmy can feel his face flush with anger, but what's more, is that he can see the red in your own cheeks. The nervous shuffling as you slide over a bowl of beef, trying not to make eye contact. But Carmy dares you to, and he keeps his eyes on you for one second, then two, until you look up, and he can see it. The large gulp as your eyes meet his, the way you bite the inside of your cheek, almost subtle enough for him not to see. He looks away but wants to push things further, he wants to test his theory without being too obvious. So, he brushes past you, a hand on the small of your back as he does. "Behind." He mutters, and the action is so simple, so common that he knows it shouldn't mean anything unless of course, his theory is right.

He witnesses your breath catch at his touch, and your quiet yet long exhale when his hand leaves your body, and somehow, he just knows. He hopes he's not reading into it; he hopes it's true because he wants you just as badly if it is. He might be in love with you, though he's never said such a thing, and God he hopes that there's something there.

"You alright, Chef?" he turns back to you once he's grabbed what he needed, still in a rush as he plays this chess game. You nod and Carmy sees it again, the harsh swallow as your nerves pick up. He catches you then, gaze falling to his hands as they move and he didn't take you for the kind of person to acknowledge such things, but he's seeing it all now.

Before Carmy can say anything, Richie speeds past, ignoring almost every rule of the kitchen as he does. The man's arm knocks into you, pushing you forward and Carmy watches first-hand as the knife you were using to chop up ingredients slices against the palm of your hand. You hiss out in pain, and instantly Carmy is on Richie like a guard dog.

"Cousin, what the fuck?" Carmy pushes him back, snatching at a roll of paper towels to clean the blood in the split second it takes Richie to respond.

"Hey Carm, chill out, will you?" The man raises his hands in defence.

"You're supposed to say 'behind' you fucking moron! Congratulations you just caused another damn casualty." Carmy glances back to you, holding your hand over the sink as the water runs red over your palm. "You know what, Cousin? Go get the first aid kit, do something for once!"

Carmy can feel the heat coursing all throughout his body, the anger moving through his veins, and somehow Richie can see that talking back is a bad idea. He moves off with little more than a grumble to get the first aid kit, and Carmy moves back to you, paper towels in hand.

"You okay, Chef?" Carmy reaches for you despite the rush of customers, taking your injured hand in his own.

"We'll hold the fort, Jeff. You go help her." It's Tina, the woman magically appearing behind him as she glances at the deep wound. It's not anything they haven't seen in the kitchen before, but still, it's a difficult fix. Carmy does as he's told and leads you to his office to patch you up, though he would have done so anyway, whether Tina had given him the go-ahead or not.

"I'm fine Carmy, really." Your voice is so gentle in comparison to all the yelling he's had to do today, and he finds that the sound of it would be so easy to sink into. He sits you down on the singular chair in the office, kneeling in front of you with another paper towel as blood starts to form again.

He wraps up your hand with it, glancing at the door. "Where the hell is Richie? The first aid kit isn't that hard to find." He looks up at you then, and you're wincing at the pressure of his hand over yours. The blood is soaking through the paper, as Carmy apologises. "I know it hurts, I'm sorry, but we gotta keep the pressure on it, Okay?"

"I know Carmy, I've had accidents like this before." You smile at him, and he can't deny his stomach flips a little.

"Yeah, sorry. I guess I can trust you to keep the pressure on it. If you want." He doesn't really want to move his hand from yours just for the sake of the contact, and when you place your uninjured hand over his own, he thinks he might have to, but you just shake your head. "It's fine Carmy, you look like you know what you're doing. World's best Chef or whatever has to know how to bandage a girl up right?"

He chuckles at that, just as Richie turns up with the first aid kit in the door. "Hey, I'm really sorry about, you know, all this." Richie gestures to your hand and goes to move closer but Carmy stops him, snatching the first aid kit from his friend's hands.

"Just fuck off, Richie. Man the register."

Richie rolls his eyes, though he leaves to do what he's told. "You don't have to be so mean about it Carm." The man responds though he's already gone by the time Carmy turns to argue again. When he looks back at you, his hand still over yours, he shakes his head.

"I'm sorry about him. I know he gives you a hard time and he doesn't pay attention to anything—" Carmy stops because he sees it again. That look in your eyes. You're watching him, gaze flitting to his arms, his hands and Carmy nods to himself, trying to hide the smile. He's figured it out, and he's more than pleased about it.

"You do know I can see you right?" He can't help it, the tone of his voice gives him all away and the smile he's hiding, though not on his face, can be heard within his words.

You play dumb though, tilting your head slightly to the side. Carmen has to admit he likes that look on you. "What?" Though you hide it well, the singular word is filled with falsified confusion and some minor panic and despite how fake your bewilderment sounds, Carmy almost thinks he's misread the situation. But then he remembers. He recalls the way you looked at him when he was screaming his head off around the kitchen, the nervous and heated shuffling when he was close to you. The catching of your breath when he touched you like any friend would.

"I might be reading this wrong but," He lets his hand graze innocently up your arm, as if checking for any other scrapes. "The way you looked at me before when I was going off at Richie," He pauses, eyes coming up to meet yours. He's shuffled himself further between your legs, still crouched low as he wipes blood from your hand. "Is there something you wanna tell me, Chef?"

To that you go beet red, stuttering with wide eyes that refuse to meet his own. "Chef, I don't know what you're talking about." You reach down to grab the first aid kit's contents yourself, but Carmy stops you, grabbing a bandage of his own as he begins to fix up your wound.

"It's all good Chef, I'm not mad, and it's just an observation but from what I've seen you seem to like it when I am."

You look over at the wall beside you, unable to keep eye contact. "Carmy, I don't want this to make things weird between us, I'll get over it, I'm sure I will."

"I don't want you to get over it." He's taking risks and he knows that well enough, but as Carmy tightens the bandages around your hand he can see the deep breath you suck in. "I can see you eyefucking me in the kitchen Chef, but I'm surprised you haven't caught on to the fact I've been doing the same to you."

You look back at him then, and he knows the way his eyes rake over your face isn't subtle in the slightest. The prolonged glance at your lips, the way his gaze trails down your jaw and back up again. You exhale, heavily and Carmy takes another chance. He lets his hands move up your arms again, and your eyes follow them as they move along your body.

"I'm gonna ask you a question Chef, and I want you to answer honestly." his eyes are the sharpest of blues as they stare into yours, and all you can do is nod.

His hands on your shoulders, the warmth of them as they run up and down your arms, is so distracting. "If I went to kiss you right now, would you let me?"

It's so surprising that it makes you laugh, a small chuckle of disbelief. Carmy hopes that's a good thing, and when you respond it's all but confirmed to him in a fire of excitement. "Absolutely."

From there it's all over, the discreet glances and gentle touches entirely abandoned for that of freedom. The friendly gazes across a room are replaced by the passionate connection of Carmy's lips on yours, his hands pulling you flush against him so fast that you almost fall off the chair. He manages to stand whilst his lips are still connected to your skin and though it's awkward, the struggle is ignored. Carmy can't believe he actually gets to kiss you, that he can really act on all the crazy things inside his head, and he's not going to waste the opportunity.

He pulls you to your feet, your hands placed firmly on his shoulders, releasing all of his tension as he realises you want him just as much. "Carmy, we have to get back to work." You mumble through the frenzy of kisses Carmy is providing. He just groans against your lips, kicking the door to the office closed without so much as looking in its direction. "The fucking restaurant can wait."

"But—" You go to speak again but Carmy kisses you back into silence.

"Work later, us now." the words come staggered as he grasps at you, his lips trailing down your jaw just like he'd imagined himself doing minutes before. You're pressed against the door, and with one hand sliding behind your back, Carmy manages to lock it. He's got time, he thinks. Time for just one more kiss, or something else.

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humanityinahandbag · 10 months

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Steddie: Wayne the Matchmaker (Part 1?)

Wayne wasn't born yesterday.

He knows full well that his nephew, his boy, is far gone for the Harrington kid. Knows it in the way he sighs, the way he drapes himself over the couch. Knows it in the way lyrics pour out of Eddie's room while he tries to write songs (just last Tuesday he heard Eddie muttering goddammit what rhymes with chest hair from behind his bedroom door).

So it isn't much of a surprise to see Eddie swooning quietly by the front door as he shoves his feet into ratty sneakers, a red car waiting in the driveway. Government hush money had been enough for Wayne to take less shifts, to put some away for Eddie's future, and to buy a modest one floor ranch house on a tree lined street closer to his boy's new friends.

Including the one currently walking carefully around the newly planted posies towards the front door.

"You seein' that Harrington boy again?" he asks.

Eddie's face went pink, and he ducked down pretending to look through his backpack for something. "Yeah," he says behind a curtain of hair. "We're going to the movies."

"S'nice. What are you seein'?"

"Uh, the new David Bowie thing. Labyrinth."

Wayne ignores how Eddie phrases it, like he hadn't been bouncing off the walls to see that little David Bowie Thing when the posters first showed up outside Melvalds. "Doesn't much seem his taste. He choose it?"

"Yeah, he-" Eddie stops and looks up. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't do that," Eddie says, fixing his Uncle with a frosty stare. "I know what you're doing, and we're just- we're friends. He's- he likes his ex. You should see them, honestly. They're like, perfect together. Dream couple." As if Wayne didn't hear the sorrow behind his tone.

"Mmmhm," says Wayne. "You sure?"

Eddie didn't get a chance to rebuttal when the door was knocked. Wayne opens it before he could.

"Hi, sir." Always polite this one. Steve's wearing a polo shirt and light wash jeans. It all looks newly pressed. And if he breathes in- yup. That's definitely cologne. "Uh, I'm here for Eddie?"

"Yeah, he's here. You wanna come in-"

"He doesn't." Eddie pops out from behind the door, glaring over his shoulder at Wayne. "C'mon, Stevie! We'll miss the previews!"

"Bye, Mr. Munson!" Steve calls over his shoulder. He grabs Eddie by the back of the collar, tugging him backwards, laughing and racing him to the car.

And well. This just wouldn't do.

Wayne never pretended to know a whole lot about love. He'd had his flings back in the day, but life had given him more curveballs than he'd been able to catch at once.

Not that he was complaining. Eddie was one of the best things that had ever happened to him.

But dammit if he didn't want the kid falling down the same hole he had.

Eddie deserves love. And Wayne figures that a few gentle nudges wouldn't hurt.

It starts with simple suggestion.

The next time Steve is at the front door, Wayne makes sure to distract Eddie with a well timed, "fix your hair," that had him scrambling for the bathroom, leaving Wayne alone with the Harrington boy.

"Steve," he says.

"Mr. Munson! Nice to see you. Um, we're just going to the arcade-"

"He likes sticky hands."

Steve blinks. "Sorry?"

"If you're gonna win him anything, get him one'a those sticky hands. It'll be hell on me, but he loves'm."

Steve nods, like it was precious information, perking up when Eddie breaks out of the bathroom.

When they get back, Eddie is considerably pinker, slapping everything around the house with a stupid pink sticky hand on a string.

"Steve won it for me," he says, as if daring Wayne to take it away.

Wayne only cracks another beer.

(He tells himself over and over that this is for the pursuit of love, even when he wants to shove Eddie out a window the fourth time a very sticky hand thwacks him on the back of his bald head.)

"He likes sunflowers," Wayne says the next time he sees Steve, which just so happens to be a week before graduation. Steve had arrived with a cake. A cake he baked. From scratch. Eddie had run to get his camera to take a picture and that was when Wayne got his chance.

Steve looks up at Wayne owlishly. "Sorry?"

"Sunflowers," Wayne repeats. "If you get him flowers for graduation, that's what he likes."

Steve nods seriously, brow drawn in thought. "Cool," he says finally. "Sunflowers."

Eddie gets sunflowers for graduation. He presses one of the petals between the pages of The Hobbit.

"Still think he's just a friend?" Wayne asks from the doorway.

Eddie traces the petal and closes the book. "It's enough," he says.

Wayne gives his nephew a long look. "You're allowed to like him."

"I know."

"No. You're allowed to like him," Wayne says again. "Like him like you like him."

Eddie stares at the petal. "I know," he says. And then; "I love him."

"I know," says Wayne and bundles Eddie into a hug.

Wayne gets to a point where he could gnaw through the walls of their new home, which he won't do, because Claudia Henderson chose the wallpaper and chewing on furniture is mostly frowned upon. But by god does he want to.

Wherever Eddie is, Steve follows. He appears at their front door to take Eddie on hikes. When he heard Eddie never learned to swim, he takes him to the quarry and Eddie comes back damp and flushed and Wayne guesses it has something to do with the shirtless boy in the driveway.

And yet through it all, Eddie doesn't see.

He doesn't see the long looks or the careful touches. Doesn't grasp the meaning behind Steve appearing one night with a bag of groceries and a smile and an announcement of I'm cooking you dinner! before making the best damn lasagne Wayne's ever had.

Instead, Eddie fawns and sighs and does everything he can to make Steve happy. Dotes and compliments and builds him up until Steve is red and spluttering and beaming.

Eddie is a good boy. Wayne raised a good boy, who loves fiercely and wholly, but somehow didn't think he was worth the same trouble.

And. Well. That just wouldn't do.

Wayne wants time to come up with some kind of a plan, but fate was a sporadic fucking asshole and chose for him. Which is how Wayne finds himself answering the phone on a Thursday to hear Steve's voice on the other line.

"Mr. Munson?"

"Steve. Eddie ain't home. He's at band practice."

"Oh," Steve says. "Right, uh. Can you tell him that I called?"

Wayne thinks a moment. "I can," he says, slowly. "But first, I'd like to talk to you."

A long pause. He can practically hear Steve sweating on the other line. "Me?"

"You," says Wayne. "S'only that you've been here an awful lot lately. Eddie's taken a real shine to you. You know that?"

"He's one of my closest friends, Mr. Munson."

"Mmmhm. An' I'm glad for him. But I don't mean like that."

He hears Steve suck in a breath on the other end. "Oh."

"Not that it's any of my business, an' maybe these old eyes are seein' things, but I catch you lookin' from time to time. Then again, I'm just an' old man-"

"You're not that old," Steve says. "And. Your eyes work great. Probably better than mine."

Good first step. Buttering up the parents.

"So. Just so we're on the same page, Mr. Munson. Eddie told me that you know about him. That he likes. Um. Yunno."

"Men."

"Yeah," says Steve, relieved. "Yeah, men, right. And so I was thinking the other day that I'm a man!"

"So you are," says Wayne.

"And it came to my attention a few months ago that people can like both. Which is- which is crazy. But I guess it's not so crazy. I used to work in an ice cream store and people would order the weirdest combos. Like... strawberry and pistachio? And I'd say, you can't like both! But then Robin told me I could."

"Steve."

"Right. So anyway. I've been spending all this time with Eddie. But I wasn't really sure. I mean, he can like men. But that doesn't mean he'd like my type of man. That I am. Man-wise."

Wayne hums. "And if I told you he did like your type of man? Man wise?"

"I'd probably ask if he liked Italian or Chinese, sir."

Outside Wayne can hear Eddie's van rolling back down the street. "He likes lo mein. No onions."

"Okay," breathes Steve.

"And even if he looks like an angry alley cat, the boy likes romance. You hear me, son? Candles, flowers, showin' up at windows."

"I can do that," says Steve. "I'm great at romance."

Eddie's car rolls into the driveway and Wayne looks out the window, waving to Eddie as he cuts the engine and the music and steps out. His boy stops to carefully step over the flowers first, waving back.

His good boy, who pours love out until he's empty and never complains. He deserves to have it poured back.

"You're welcome anytime, Steve," says Wayne earnestly. "Anyone who makes my boy as happy as he is- you're welcome anytime."

Eddie walks in as Wayne hangs up. "Who was that?"

Wayne tugs him into a hug. "No one," he says. And then, "go shower. You smell like Gareth's garage."

"Like a goddamn rockstar, you mean?" Eddie ducks away from a swat and laughs, running down the hall.

Like a kid in love, Wayne thinks, and turns on the game.

With ao3 being down (pour one out, I'm donating my life savings once they're back up) I got feral enough to write a one shot on here. I can't update my other Wayne Matchmaker fic. So. Yunno. This will have to do for now.

Does this need a part 2? You tell me.

LONGER, EDITED VERSION NOW ON AO3!

(IF I POST A PART 2 IT WILL BE THERE :D)

#steddie #steddie fanfic #steddie oneshot #boys in love #eddie munson #steve henderson #uncle wayne #wayne munson #good uncle wayne #eddie munson the gremlin #pour one out for ao3 #we miss you #we'll never take you for granted again #my god i'm feral #sticky hands

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callofdudes · 10 months

Text

AleRudy ✨incorrect quotes✨ ft: Valeria, Ghost, and Soap.

Alejandro: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Rodolfo: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

-------

Rodolfo: *chokes on something*

Alejandro: Jeez, Rodolfo, don't die on us.

Rodolfo: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

--------

Rodolfo: Here are two pictures. One of them is your bedroom, and the other is a garbage dumpster. Can you tell which is which?

Alejandro:

Alejandro: This one is the dumpster.

Rodolfo: They’re both your bedroom.

-------

Rodolfo: Do you think sex without love is a sin?

Alejandro: If it is, I’ll see you in hell.

-------

Alejandro: You need to stop swearing so much.

Rodolfo: Shut the fuck up.

Alejandro: Yeah, that's not how you do it.

Rodolfo: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.

Alejandro: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.

Rodolfo: Shit the beep up.

Alejandro:

Rodolfo: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

-------

Alejandro: Yes, I'm adopting Rodolfo and you cowards can't tell me no!

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Rodolfo: Alejandro...

Alejandro: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

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Alejandro: This is horrible! This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me!

Rodolfo: Oh-? Even more humiliating than-

Alejandro: We are not doing this!

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Valeria: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?

Rodolfo: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

-------

Alejandro: Well, has Valeria been wrong before?

Rodolfo: How wide are we willing to open this up?

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Alejandro: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…

Valeria: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.

Alejandro: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…

Rodolfo: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

------

Rodolfo: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Rodolfo: Valeria is still mad about it, but me and Alejandro were drunk and thought it was funny.

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Valeria, to Alejandro: You know, Rodolfo can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching.

Valeria: *blows airhorn at Rodolfo* GET FUCKED!

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Valeria, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan??

Valeria: Wait. I the fuck used this pan…

Rodolfo: It was you the fuck.

Valeria: It was I the fuck…

Alejandro: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Rodolfo: She the fuck.

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Valeria: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime.

Alejandro: I like how this is a "fun" fact.

Rodolfo: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.

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Rodolfo: You really believe in Valeria?

Alejandro: Luckily, she believes in herself enough for the both of us.

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Alejandro: Guys where did Valeria go?

Rodolfo: She got arrested.

Alejandro: How the hell-

Valeria: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

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Rodolfo, watching Alejandro with the new recruits he's fond of: Ugh

Valeria, watching as well: You know...

Valeria: He doesn't love you. You could always join me and my cartel, we'd treat you better than he does.

Rodolfo: You think I want to join your peacock feather spreading, egotistical little boy band??

Valeria: Ok, sorry I asked

Rodolfo: Yeah, be sorry 😤

-------

Rodolfo: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Valeria: What’s up your ass this morning!

Alejandro: *walks in* ...Hey.

Valeria: Hmm… nevermind.

Rodolfo: WAIT NO!

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Ghost: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?

Soap: Um, murder???

Alejandro: Adventuring!

Rodolfo: Tuesday.

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Rodolfo: I give up. I am so tired.

Soap: Get the emergency supply!

Ghost: *carries Alejandro and places him in front of Rodolfo*

Alejandro: *smiles*

Rodolfo: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

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Ghost: Christmas is cancelled.

Rodolfo: You can't cancel a holiday.

Ghost: Keep it up, Rodolfo, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Rodolfo: What does that mean?

Ghost: Alejandro, take New Year's away from Rodolfo.

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Alejandro: What’s up with Soap? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Rodolfo: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Alejandro: Why?

Rodolfo: Ghost smiled at him.

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Rodolfo: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Soap: A doll.

Ghost: A cinnamon roll.

Alejandro: A sweetheart.

Rodolfo:

Rodolfo: ...stop it.

-------

Rodolfo: What are you getting Soap for the holidays?

Ghost: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Alejandro: I'm getting Soap a divorce lawyer.

-------

Rodolfo, opening his arms to greet Alejandro after coming home late: Mi amor!!

Alejandro: What's going on?

Rodolfo: I don't know what you mean love, we should go inside now

Alejandro: Where's the body??

Rodolfo: ...

Rodolfo: I don't know what you're talking about-

Alejandro: I'll get a shovel...

I made a few of these up myself, and I'm proud. Giving the babies the chaotic love they deserve.

#alerudy #alejandro vargas #alejandro x rudy #alejandro x rodolfo #call of duty incorrect quotes #call of duty #cod incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #Rodolfo is my feral baby #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #valeria garza #its long yall

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deceasedream69 · 1 year

Text

High

Summary: after a night at the bar with your friends, you start to feel really sick, lucky for you, you meet with the right person.

Warnings: mention of drugs, SA and abuse.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The music was loud, there wasn't a lot of people today, considering it was Tuesday, but there was enough to fill half of the bar.

I was speaking with my friends, drinking and ocassionally admiring the guys and girls around me. So many shots, but I already had my eye on someone. Even tho, deep down, I knew nothing was going to happen there, it was impossible and unprofessional, but...

-"No, you got it all wrong pretty thing", Derek's idea of flirting always baffled me, mostly because it worked.

-"and what's such a pretty thing doing here all alone?", A guy approached me.

-"drinking, and enjoying being alone", I smiled. I understand they want to make their move, but I really wasn't in for flirting today, not with anyone who wasn't him. But he was clearly never going to give the first step, but... should I?

-"oh, come on. That's boring, love", he lifted my chin with his finger. That's when I assume it happened, cause I can't recall any other moment.

I smiled and moved my head.

-"you go conquer another pretty "thing"", I took a sip of my drink and turned around.

-"we'll see", he said standing up.

I turned to look at Spencer but he was staring at another girl, I could feel my heart drop, so I decided to go, but I decided to finish my drink before leaving. Drinking it as quickly as possible, I said good-bye to my friends, most of them with a hug, but Spencer... we weren't there yet, so I grabbed my coat and headed for the exit.

My feet were pretty heavy. I worked that day, so I was probably very tired. The noise coming from inside the bar was making my head go in circles, in consequence my hand went quickly to it, trying to cease the pain. I rubbed my eyes because they hurted, my mouth was dry.

The door of the bar opened.

-"Oh, love, you look like you need help", one of his hand on my back and the other holding my arm.

-"no... I'm... fi-", I grabbed myself from a metal bar next to me, away from that dude. But he quickly grabbed my arm again.

-"hey..." a voice from another dude just leaving the bar came from behind us.

I was so fucking scared, all the things that could go wrong running through my head. And if there were 2 guys... I was so out of it I didn't even recognized the second voice.

-"No, fine... fine", I said trying to stand back up.

-"I'm with the FBI-", as soon as he said that, the first guy let go of me and ran away, making me fall to the floor, since I was holding onto him.

-"Shit"

After that everything went black.

Spencer's pov

-"hey, hey, stay awake... hey... dammit!", I quickly got my phone out and called for the first person I could, Derek.

-"What?! I'm kinda busy in here? If you wanted a ride you should've wait for Hotch, his saying his good-byes right now"

-"Listen! I'm outside the club, I need help!"

-"help...? I'm not..."

-"Come here!"

I hang up, she was breathing and had a pulse. I opened slowly her eyes, they were red and extremely dilated. She looked so... vulnerable, helpless. It hurted seeing her like this, she was right there with us, and no one noticed.

-"Oh poor thing", I ran my fingers through her hair, it was very soft.

<<maybe if I didn't avoid their interaction because of my jealousy I wouldv'e noticed>>

I didn't exactly know what to do without some help. Afer a few seconds JJ and Derek were walking towards me.

-"Spencer!", JJ kneeled before us. "y/n..."

-"kid, what happened?"

-"A guy was trying to take her, I stopped him, but he ran away. Still got to drug her"

-"Derek, call an ambulance", JJ checked the surroundings for anything suspicious. "There's a camera there, and there. We just need García's help"

-"I already called the ambulance"

I decided to drive to the hospital with her, she couldn't just wake up all alone in the hospital with no explanations, and I already felt bad for leaving her alone... twice.

Y/n's pov

The bed was soft. I slowly opened my eyes, but then quickly closed them again. The light was too strong, it hurted. That's when I felt a hand touching mine, making me pull back mine quickly.

-"sorry", he apologized, moving his hand back.

I wanted to say his name, but I just couldn't. It felt like I didn't have a voice.

- "hey, shhh, it's ok. The doctors said you need to rest, I'm just here to keep you company. Don't push yourself"

He tries holding my hand again, and now that I knew it was him, I hold his hand back.

I started to remember everything that happened. The guy, the bar, the drug in my drink...

I was so upset I didn't even noticed the tears forming in my eyes.

- "oh, y/n, don't cry...", He said caressing my cheek. His warm hands felt nice against my skin, I smiled slightly.

-"what...", I cleared my throat because my voice was really raspy and dry. "happened to...", it was too much, I started coughing.

Spencer quickly put his hand on my back to help me sit up.

-"shhh, breath", he sighed and sat back down. His hand still holding mine. "García is still searching and the rest of the team are working on the videos from the cameras around"

-"I can´t help feeling stupid", it was mostly a whisper, my voice wasn't there yet.

His face dropped.

-"don't say such thing. I'm the one who feels stupid"

I just turned to look at him with a confused look, asking for explanation without actually speaking. He sighed again.

-"I did notice when he approached you and tried to "seduce" you, but I was so... distracted...", his eyes looked into mine, like yelling to me "distracted is not what I meant", but it was only for a brief second, his vision when back to our hands to continue the story. "so I didn't noticed when he... But I'm glad I came out to help you"

-"how did you know I needed help?"

-"what?", he got closer to me, my voice was barely understandable.

-"how... did you know I needed... help"

-"oh", he sat straight again. "I saw when you rejected him, so when I saw him leaving after you... I knew there were no good intentions", he squeezed my hand slightly.

-"Thank you"

-"excuse me? I didn't quite catch that", he said joking, bringing his ear closer to me.

I laughed.

-"thank you", I took the chance and left a kiss on his cheek, but I immediatly regreted doing so. His hates physical touch, he'll obviously hate kisses. But hell, it was already done.

-"Sorry", I whispered.

But instead he got closer and kissed my forehead. Squeezing my hand even more, making me smile.

-"awww, you're red-"

-"it's the drugs. But what's your excuse?", I smirk at him.

-"I like you"

I couldn't believe he just said it out loud, and I think he couldn't believe it either. But before he could say anything more, or deny it, I had to get my feelings out.

-"I like you too", I smiled. He looked like he let go of the air he was holding in from the nerves. "I don't know what to do now", I said looking into his eyes, making him smile.

-"just... get better and we'll figure it out"

-"can I get another kiss? I heard they help to get you better", He moved some hair from my forehead and planted another kiss. "thanks doc"

He stood there with me until the rest of the team got there, he had to leave eventually so he was waiting for them so I wouldn't be alone.

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid smut #bau team #the bau #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfic

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todayontumblr · 1 year

Text

Tuesday, May 16.

it's nearly 3am, for pete's sake. let that cat in!

what's the matter with you, man. let that cat in this instant!

listen, and listen well, dammit, because I won't ask twice. that itty-bitty puss has been purring, meowing, and hissing for hours now, and, though it may be the winter outside, and it is christmas, this isn't your classic december 24th scenario. there is room at this inn, and we're going to let him inside, out of the cold, as if it it were the baby jesus himself. because, in many ways, he is—and apparently there's a northern star above our house.

you've got work tomorrow, I've got work tomorrow. and you can bet your ass that all the while that little critter is out there hollering all alone, meowin into the festive abyss, with nothing for company but a christmas tree, decorative lights, and wide-angle lens, we are not going to get a moment's shut-eye. and that's not good news for you, because I know for a fact you've got your end-of-fourth quarterly all-synergy christmas review at the office tomorrow, and I know your job's on the line. you think the board are gonna be happy when you drag yourself into the office with bags around your eyes, your tie on backwards, and cups of starbucks holiday blend in each hand? it may be the season of goodwill, but that don't count for much in your line of Business—even lonesome mr. whiskers could tell you that.

speaking of, you hear that? give it some time and that one little whine is gonna attract all the other december strays. before you know it, we'll have a gregorian chant of kitty kats decorating our front lawn, and freestyling their own carols with not a care for tune or harmony. who knows—one of them may have a little catnip on their person. and then we are really in trouble.

if reason does not persuade you, then surely you are moved by the plight of this destitute animal? listen to his lonesome cries ringing out into the depths of the night, and pinky swear me that your eyes are dry at the intensity of his despair? because I do not consider it possible for anyone of reasonable mind to withstand, in spirit, that animal's pain as expressed through this his wretched song. this may be the season of merriment and jollity, but these are distant lands to the furry friend who currently finds himself lost, adrift, and alone at our most decorative doorstep.

if you are still cold-hearted to his plight, then consider this: he was brought to our door by its luminous, festive character. this cat has seen the tree, and fairy lights wrapped in an embrace around the columns, and understood its greater significance. this cat has come to understand this as a home of compassion, charity, light, and warmth during these darkest days of the year. if we ignore the sound of his cries, we are not merely heartless, but hypocrites to the decoration that adorns our front porch.

the choice is yours. it is almost 2:30 AM. the cat remains alone, waiting, wailing into night.

what are you going to do?

#today on tumblr #cat #2:30am #christmas spirit #cold #dark #alone #cat in the night #the choice #is yours

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hms-incorrect-quotes · 2 months

Text

Soul [running into the living room after hearing a crash]: WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED HERE?!?!

Heart [standing next to a broken TV screen and the remote on the floor]: I was trying to throw the remote onto the TV stand!

Soul: And Mind didn’t stop you?!

Heart: They’ve been asleep for the past three hours.

Whole [walking in]: Hey has anyone seen- wait why is the TV broken??

Soul [pointing at Heart]: They threw the remote onto the TV stand!

Whole: Come on! That’s the 5th time this week and it’s 2 in the morning on a Tuesday!

Mind [while yawing]: How long was I out?

Mind [seeing the broken TV]: OH GOD DAMMIT NOT AGAIN! HEART, I TOLD YOU NOT TO!

Heart: You were asleep! And I always take a window of opportunity when I see it!

Soul and Whole: But you broke the-

Heart: My work here is done. If anyone asks, I was never here.

#chonny jash #cj mind #cj heart #cj soul #cj whole #technically a submission #heart does this on purpose

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kickinganddriving · 1 year

Text

Somebody Else

Notes: Requested by @starry-night-reid. I MISS PULI SO MUCH

paring: Christian Pulisic x reader

Song suggestion: Somebody Else- The 1975

Warnings: Swearing, super minor mentions of smutty things, sad christian

wc:1.4k

pt 2

I don't want your body

But I hate to think about you with somebody else

Our love has gone cold

You're intertwining your soul with somebody else

I'm looking through you

While you're looking through your phone

And then leaving with somebody else

No, I don't want your body

But I'm picturing your body with somebody else

It was a random Tuesday morning, the sun beaming through the windows of Christian’s apartment, at the moment he was mindlessly scrolling through instagram, in passing he saw a familiar face. He scrolls up and see’s your face, with another man kissing your cheek. The minute he could process what was going on in the photo, he felt a deep seed of jealousy plant itself in his stomach. His eyes fixate on the location tag on the post, London UK.

You and Christian broke up almost a year ago, but it had seemed that you had moved on faster than him. While you were dating, you weren’t just a piece of arm candy, you were his best friend, and with the break up Christian lost too much in one person. You dated for 2 1/2 years and it was the last time Christian felt truly happy, but he broke up with you. You got you an offer from your dream job, but it was back in the states. All he ever wanted was for you to be truly happy, which later bit him right in the ass. You worked there for around 7 months before they opened an office near London, and you chose to move back. Out of fear that he already met someone else or moved on, he was never told of your arrival.

5 months later you found yourself seeing a nice man, around the same age, who lives in your apartment complex. He has nice dark eyes, brown curly hair, and... god dammit, he’s like the Walmart Christian. He was a nice man, you could see yourself living a life with him. Would there be something missing, yes, but you could try to move past that.

But for Christian, the past year had been absolute hell for him. He kept on getting injured, went to the world cup, but got taken out too early for his liking, and the one person he could always go to wasn’t his to go to anymore. The instagram post didn’t make it any better, not at all. While he was scrolling through your page, he saw one of the photos he took off you, it was his favorite photo. So entranced in the picture in front of him, he mindlessly liked it. Realizing what he did, he looked at the post date, 1 year ago. He fucked up.

And c'mon baby (I know)

This ain't the last time that I'll see your face

And c'mon baby (I know)

You said you'd find someone to take my place

After spending almost the entire 3 days wallowing in his room, barely responding to Mason or Ben’s texts and calls, the pair made it a point to get Christian out of the house and into a club. The guys thought clubs could fix almost any problem because it contained the holy trinity, music, alcohol, and girls. After quite literally dragging Christian out of his home, he found himself perched on a barstool, nursing a beer that was once cold, looking depressed as shit.

But guess where your now boyfriend wanted to go tonight, just guess? The same as the club that Ben and Mason had to choose. When you walked in the club you instantly recognized the face of one Mason Mount, but in trying not to draw too much attention to yourself, you just scurried off to a booth and waited for your boyfriend to come back with drinks. After a few drinks you found your way to the dance floor, trying to have a good time, but guess who else you saw, Benjamin James Chilwell. After a second of awkward eye contact, your boyfriend hobbled off to the bathroom, after he escorted you to the bar.

After you told the order to the bartender, you heard a voice, a clear, distinct, and familiar voice. A voice that gave you the chills from miles away.

“Your drink order still hasn’t changed”

You turn your head to catch a glimpse of the person talking to you, Christian Fucking Mate Pulisic. He looked exhausted, not long after training exhausted, but mental torment exhausted. Your natural instinct was to give him the biggest hug and a kiss on the cheek, but you restrained.

“Christian” his name was the only thing you could say. Paralyzed with emotion, you couldn’t move, think, or barely speak. His name, something you’ve said countless numbers of times, moaning it like a prayer, sleepily whispering under your breath, saying it with the largest smile on your face, or the last time you said it to him when you kissed him for the last time as he dropped you off at the airport.

“Yes jellybean?” You were nearly crying after he called you “jellybean”. Nobody has called you that in a year, but Christian always called you jellybean, because of your weird childhood obsession with them.

“I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.” You said trying to find a way to try to make the entire situation better.

“To find out that you came back to London, or that you are dating someone else?” Christian says with an ounce of disbelief in his tone.

“Both” You nervously whimper, trying not to say something that could ruin the entire night even more.

“Who is he anyway? He looks looks me, but from fucking Walmart.” You missed his sense of blatant honesty and sarcasm when he had an ounce of alcohol in his system.

“You mean Sam? You innocently exclaim.

“Fucking Sam” He exasperatedly says after taking a swig oof his lukewarm beer.

“We should really talk sometime soon Chris”

Get someone you love

Get someone you need?

Fuck that, get money

I can't give you my soul

'Cause we're never alone

It had been a week since that night at the bar, and he could think about you. He had finally had enough, so after using a few favors he figured out where you lived. Being the stupid, lovesick, idiot he was, he didn’t think of taking an Uber, or driving himself to your apartment, no, he had to run in the rain without a jacket halfway across London.

It was a regular Friday evening, Sam was coming over with pizza in an hour, and you were peacefully on the couch watching Friends and a comfy set of lingerie and a short and pink silk night dress. You heard the doorbell ring, but you were not expecting anyone yet, so you went and opened the door. Behind the door revealed a drenched Christian.

“Christian what are you doing here?” You say with a slight chuckle.

“I love you, I love you so much” Christian holds and caresses your jawline with his cold hands as he pronounces his affection for you.

“Christian I-” He suddenly kissed you, it was not your first kiss, but it made it feel like it was your first kiss. The way you got butterflies in your stomach, something you haven’t felt in a while. Kissing him back, everything felt perfect, like the world was at peace and everything was perfect.

“Before you even mention Sam, I love you, and I don’t know why I let you go, and you just look so fucking beautiful right now, and I miss everything about you, jellybean” He says it so fast you almost couldn’t comprehend what he was saying.

“I love you too.” Right after the words left your lips, you were suddenly on his lips. Slowly backing up as he kicks the door closes and pushes your back up against the wall. Your lips move in perfect synchronization, as he takes your legs and wraps them around his waist so he has control of your mobility.

“Where’s your bedroom?” Christian manages to slip past his lips in midst of your kissing.

“Third door on the left” He carried you down the hallway into your room and slowly dropped you on the bed and he leaned over to continue kissing you. But then you both heard the find of the doorbell and a faint call.

“Babe open the door before the pizza gets cold” You then remembered about Sam.

“Oh shit”

#christian pulisic fluff #christian pulisic #christian pulisic x reader #the 1975 #somebody else

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ms-m-astrologer · 5 months

Text

2023 Sagittarius New Moon

Tuesday, December 12, 23:32 UT, 20°40’ Sagittarius Chart erected for Washington, DC

The key phrase for the New lunar phase is “set a new intention for the month.” Not anything drastic! Just some good habit you think you can establish successfully, in a month’s timeframe.

This is a very idealistic chart, borderline naive, with some additional feisty-ness and activism to spice life up. The sky’s the damned limit, dammit! It’s fortunate that Jupiter, the ruler of Sagittarius, is in steady and grounded Taurus, or we’d all be in orbit.

There’s a pretty big caveat, though: within eight hours of this lunation, transiting Mercury will station retrograde. That’s a very big “caution” flag, especially for those whose natal charts have strong emphases in Mercury, Gemini, Virgo, the 3rd House, &/or the 6th House. At least Mercury in Capricorn will make us a little more cautious in thought - and its trine to Jupiter may have some constructive influence on what we decide to do with this chart.

Yours truly is a Gemini, of course, and habitually sits out - so to speak - every lunation with Mercury Rx. I will probably think hard about my 2024 direction(s), but I won’t actually do anything until the Capricorn New Moon on January 11, 2024. That isn’t so long to (have to) wait; and, most of the time between now and then is my Winter Break, anyway.

#Astrology #2023 Sagittarius New Moon #Ms M astrologer

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comic-book-jawns · 1 year

Text

Ava kisses her for the first time on a Tuesday morning, their 12th day in Switzerland.

“C’mon, Bea. You’re gonna give yourself a hernia.”

Beatrice, naturally, had opened her mouth to explain why Ava’s assertion was not remotely plausible… but then her diaphragm hadn’t given her the chance to, just as Ava intended.

“Pardon me.”

Beatrice wasn’t sure if her blush was the more the result of her loss of dignity or Ava’s smirk.

“Nope.” Definitely the smirk. Dammit. “You’re allowed to have the hiccups!”

The laughter was clear (and enticing) in Ava’s voice, but Beatrice refused to let herself be goaded into conversation a second time. Perhaps, she could admit to herself, though, that Ava had a point.

“I literally peed my pants yesterday, and you don’t see me apologizing for it.”

They’d been halfway to Bar LaVasseur for their first night shift, Ava babbling away about the wild time Beatrice prayed was not in store for them until she stopped abruptly and confessed she’d forgotten to use the restroom.

Beatrice had asked if she could wait to go at the bar; and Ava, looking only moderately sheepish, had replied that waiting wasn’t the issue. So, in fact, it was Beatrice who’d ended up apologizing, following her prolonged period of silent confusion.

When they’d set off again from their flat twenty minutes later, Ava indeed had not apologized. She’d thanked Beatrice for accompanying her.

“Fine.” Beatrice at least managed not to hiccup mid-word, but Ava still giggled. “Slap me.”

Until her giggles turned into a cough.

“Excuse me?”

“No.”

It was Beatrice’s turn to smirk, and Ava stopped in her tracks, face flushed — which wasn’t surprising given the burn she’d acquired last week in pursuit of a “base tan.”

“Bea, I’m not gonna slap you.” Even less surprising was her roommate grinning well before she got to the punchline. “That’s way too boring.”

Ava, naturally, had spent the rest of their walk back to the flat trying out increasingly absurd scare tactics: jumping in front of her, phasing in front of her, phasing in front of her and screaming, declaring that she’d left the stove on.

Admittedly, that one could possibly have worked last week… before Ava decided to make “experimental tea” and Beatrice returned from the library to a kettle of boiling orange juice, alongside Ava, who’d spotted a stray cat on the street from their third-floor window.

Just as it seemed Ava had run out ideas, she suddenly sprinted ahead, straight for the lake. And while Beatrice already knew Ava would complain about her wet clothes for the next two hours, she also recognized that Ava was an adult, free to make her own choices — as long as they didn’t involve the stove.

“I can’t swim, by the way!”

Her roommate called over her shoulder gleefully, as she splashed through the water’s edge.

“Ava!”

The warning only encouraged her, of course… until she reached the drop-off. The one Beatrice had known was awaiting her, having gone for a morning swim on Sunday, their “day off” from training.

“Bea!”

Beatrice was still getting used to the nickname, despite Camila having used it first. Ava’s tone, though, was one Beatrice absolutely did not want to get used to.

“I’m here.”

If she did, it would mean she’d failed her mission… failed Ava.

“I’ve got you.”

She hadn’t this time, though, carrying her out of the water — Ava uncharacteristically quiet as she clung to her neck.

Beatrice wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, only that she felt her blush return — as Ava pulled back and promptly looked over Beatrice’s shoulder at the ground below — along with her hiccups.

She was too drained to fight a smile when Ava giggled again, but it was short-lived.

“Thanks, Bea.”

Beatrice set Ava down with a tingling right cheek.

She didn’t hiccup again.

#avatrice #warrior nun #avatrice fic #warrior nun fic #avatrice fanfic #warrior nun fanfic #ava x sister beatrice #beatrice x ava #ava silva #sister beatrice

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keigh0e · 1 year

Text

Neighbourly ♥ Keigo Takumi

Word Count: 14k

Triggers: The usual bad language you can always expect from me, and some spicy spice towards the end

Description: You meet your neighbour Hawks under some special circumstances and he decides you need to become more than neighbours

Author’s Note: Hi guys! Thank you so much for treating my first post with so much love. As a gift, I give you this monster. Let me know if you’d like a part two! It’s not been checked so apologies for any spelling/grammar mistakes.

Requests are still open, here is a prompt list and what fandoms I write for

Your day had finally ended and you were exhausted, you couldn’t wait to get home to your bed, you couldn’t wait to get out of your work clothes, you couldn’t wait to sleep yourself into a coma.

But first you needed to make it to your door and it looked like your neighbour wasn’t going to let you do that so easily.

After reaching your floor, you immediately spotted the figure laid up against the wall beside your door. There wasn’t really any way to ignore him because sprouting from his back was a large set of blood-red wings. Fallen angel was the first thing that came to your head.

At the time, you had no idea this man was your neighbour. As far as you were aware, he was just a (Very pretty) stranger and you lived alone, you weren’t taking any risks.

You stayed at the top of the stairs so you had a quick exit and your pepper spray was poised at the ready. “Hey,” you called out, trying to be gentle whilst also being loud enough to stir awake the guy sleeping near your door. It looked to work as he moved his head from side to side and started to grumble. “You okay?”

His eyes snapped to yours, a shocking yellow which seemed brighter than the humming lights above you. Again, you found yourself wondering if you’d discovered an Angel at your door. Surely that was a good sign, right?

“Who’re ya?” He asked, eyes glaring. Your theory about him being some sort of angel went straight out the window as soon as you heard the slur coating his words.

You pointed over to the door he was next to, “I live in number twenty-four.”

His eyes moved to the door next to him before looking back at you, “no you don’t, Mrs Cheesepuffs lives there.”

“Mrs Chesney-Wolfe moved out last week, think she wanted to be closer to her family or something, so I moved in on Tuesday.” You explained.

The ethereal looking drunkard in front of you threw his head back, slamming it harshly against the wall. If he felt it, he didn’t give any sign. “Mrs Cheesepuffs left without even saying goodbye to me? I know she wasn’t my number one fan, but that’s brutal.” The slurring in his words only added to the sad tone that curled his syllables in, melting into a sob as he finished speaking.

You weren’t sure what to do as he moved his head into his hands and began to cry. From what you’d learnt from the neighbour next to you, Mrs Chesney-Wolfe was your stereotypical old lady who chose to complain about everything possible, no one was sad to see her go. Except for this guy apparently.

“Are you- were you a friend of hers or something?” You asked, trying to figure out who the hell he was in the hopes it would help you get rid of him. The last thing you wanted to do right now was deal with some drunk fool who’d chosen your doorstep to nap on. It was your turn to have a nap dammit.

“No, we were arch-nemesis, but she was the best enemy I’ve ever had.” He continued to cry, his dramatics making you more uncomfortable. “There wasn’t a week that didn’t go by where she didn’t try to get me kicked out of this building.”

“You live here?” You perked up a bit. Okay, he lived here, that meant you could just direct him to the right floor and then be on your merry way to your bed.

“Yeah, I live upstairs.” He waved his hands towards the stairway that led to the next floor before flopping his hand back on the floor, as though it suddenly weighed a hundred kilograms. “I wanted to tell Mrs Cheesepuffs… I don’t remember, but it was really important. And now I’ll never get to tell her!” He began bellowing and sobbing again.

“Guess there’s nothing else to do but go to bed then,” you responded, not really able to sympathise for a man who was clearly letting the alcohol he’d had do all the talking.

“No, I can’t leave yet without telling her the thing,” he pushed, looking at you with pouty lips and watering eyes. He should have looked pathetic. Why did his eyes remind you of that Fallen Angel painting by Alexandre Cabanel? Clearly you were as sleep deprived as this man was drunk.

In truth, you’d spent most of the week moving in and that day was your first time back at the cafe, it shouldn’t have been all that busy but there was some sort of convention happening down the road which meant the place you worked was stock full all day.

“You don’t even know the thing,” you argued with a huff, wanting this exchange to be over and done with.

“But it was important!” He cried out.

“Dude, how many drinks did you have?”

He stopped crying instantaneously, and started giving you a death stare. It seemed he was embracing his inner Mrs Cheesepuffs as he eyed you up and down with disgruntlement. “That’s a rude question, what are you implying?”

“You think that's rude?” You chuckled lowly. “We don’t even know each other but you’re stood in front of my door, blocking me from getting home, crying about some woman who, in the nicest way, seemed like a bitch.”

He took a brief moment to take in your words, staring at you with that same hatred glare, before making it disappear as quickly and as easily as he had done with his earlier tears. He rested his head back against the wall, closing his eyes for a second. “Hm, I guess you’re right, that’s not very ‘No.2 Hero’ of me is it?”

“You’re a hero?” Of course he was. You were an idiot. You hadn’t been in this area long but you’d seen posters of him everywhere, he was a big deal. And he was on your doorstep, crying over an apparent cheese puff of a human being.

“Yes, number two hero, Hawks,” he repeated. “You don’t recognise me?”

You shrugged, choosing what you figured was the easier option. “I’ve just moved into the area, and I’ve never been into the superhero thing, no offence.” If he thought you didn’t care for him, then maybe he’d stop bothering you. Plus, it wasn’t entirely a lie. Whilst you knew of super heroes (it was hard to avoid them), you weren’t as obsessed as some people tended to get.

“None taken, that probably works in my favour because this would really ruin my reputation if anyone found out.” His tone was much more relaxed now, there was still a slur but his emotions seemed to be calming down. He also seemed to be getting very sleepy. “I’m sorry for blocking your door.”

“It’s okay, I’m sorry Mrs Cheespuffs abandoned you.”

He smiled ever-so-slightly, it was just a brief lift of his lips but it had your heart skipping a beat. “I’ll get over it, she’s not the first girl to break my heart and she won’t be the last.” Your brain immediately started to wonder if that meant he was single, though you tried to slap away those thoughts, because it shouldn’t matter to you if your neighbour was single or not.

Hawks reached out a hand, making a grabby motion with his fingers. “Can you help me get up? The room is spinning a lot.”

You debated it for a minute before concluding that this was probably the fastest way for you to get to your bed. “Sure.” You wandered over and helped him stand up as best you could. He wasn’t light, you couldn’t tell if that was because of the muscle he was clearly packing or the gigantic wings on his back though.

“Ooft.”He grunted as his chest slammed against yours, you taking the brunt of his weight as you balanced him back on his feet. His eyes scanned over your face, seemingly becoming enraptured whilst all your attention was fixed on making sure neither of you fell to the ground. “Oh, hey, you’re cute up close.”

“Dude, can you even stand?” You gritted out, not even hearing what he said as you pushed against him.

“Am I not standing right now?” He looked down at his feet, chuckling a little bit when he noticed how much smaller your feet seemed next to his. He started giggling. “I bet you have little piggies.”

“I’m standing you up right now, this is more me than you,” you complained, once again ignoring what he said. You’d actually heard his comment about having little piggies, but seeing as they made zero sense to you, you figured the night would go a lot easier if you just ignored him. Oh, how wrong you were. Nothing about that night was easy for you.

“You’re such a good Samaritan, have you thought about becoming a hero?” He queried.

“Not my scene,” you replied, working to wrap one of his arms around your shoulder so you could take his weight a bit easier. “You live upstairs right?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, once again staring rather intensely at your face. He couldn’t help himself, now that he was up close and personal, and your features weren’t blurring in and out of focus, he could finally make out your facial features and they were all so cute. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to squeeze your cheeks or kiss your lips.

“Come on then.” It was the only way you were going to get to bed. You couldn’t just leave him laying in the hallway, especially seen as he was meant to be some big hero. If anyone found out you’d abandoned the number two hero in a hallway, you were sure you’d get more shit for it than he would for being a public menace.

When you reached the stares Hawks did actually help out, taking back most of his weight and using the rail to pull himself upstairs, rather than relying on you entirely. You made it up in no time, then you came to your next hurdle. His locked door. “Where are your keys?”

“Pocket, I think.” He made no move to take them out of his coat pocket and so with a sigh you reached in yourself, making him jump slightly. “Whoa, hey, if you want to cop a feel you need to buy me a drink first.”

“Noted.” You said the word as blandly as possible, all you planned on doing was getting him to bed, then you’d avoid him as much as possible and hope he doesn’t end up on your doorstep again anytime soon.

You found the key in his left pocket and used it to unlock the door.

His apartment was impressive, way bigger than yours, but he was the number two hero so he probably got all the big bucks whilst your barista job got you just enough. Trying not to get too bitter over the very different world you knew the pro-hero in your arms must live in, you walked further into his living room that connected to a humongous kitchen. It looked like had had the whole floor to himself.

“Which way?” You questioned, wanting to get this visit over and done with, standing in an apartment this big and shiny was making you feel very small.

He directed you towards a door which once opened revealed another massive room with a mammoth bed in the centre. It looked more like a nest, covered in a multitude of different pillows. One of them looked so fluffy, you’d probably feel like you were sleeping on a cloud.

Before putting him down on the bed you turned him around and began to push on the thick coat he was wearing. “Let’s get your jacket off,”

As your arms worked on pushing the jacket down your arms, he leaned his head forward, resting it in the crook of your neck. Then he felt him take in a deep breath. “Mm, you smell really good,” he mumbled, nose skimming up your neck, and when he moved back down, he did so with his lips. “Fuck, really good.” Once his jacket was completely off, his hands moved up, gripping your waist as he burrowed his head deeper, his teeth grazing your skin all of a sudden, pulling a gasp from your lips whilst shivers moved through your bones. It wasn’t an awful feeling, just wholly unexpected.

Not as unexpected as when he suddenly pulled you backwards onto the bed and took you with him, pulling you down on top of him. “Whoa,” you squealed. You knew you should have done more, should have pulled away and stepped back, but the man was a puppet master, pulling on your strings with every graze on your skin. He’d started kissing you. They were gentle pecks, but he kept hinting he wanted to do more every time his teeth caressed your neck.

“Fuck,” he breathed out as he thrust his hips up into yours, letting you feel all of him. Every glorious inch.

Unfortunately, that rut of his hips into yours was exactly what you needed to wake you up from his spell

“Shit, let go of me.” You pushed with your arms and pulled away with your body, shuffling out from under the wings that had at some point wrapped around you without you even noticing. Once a safe distance away, you pointed at the hazy-eyed man posed laid-back on his bed. “Nothing is happening tonight, you’re way too drunk and I’m way too sober.”

He cocked his head to the side, his eyes half-closed and a goofy, yet charming, smile bending his lips upward. “You’re cute.”

“You’re frustrating,” you retorted, trying your best to stay on the offensive. You weren’t sure how much more you could take, you just knew if he kissed you again you’d probably let him just have his way with you. Just from that thrust alone, you could tell he packed enough to not even need to be good at sex, his size would be enough pleasure just by itself. Still, Hawks gave the aura of someone who knew exactly what they were doing in the bedroom, and that was even more dangerous.

“What will it take for me to get something to happen?”

He was going to remember this conversation in the morning, not with how drunk he was, so you decided to play along, at least he wasn’t trying to pull you back into bed. “Ten dates.”

“Ten?!” He guffawed.

You shrugged. “I’d normally say three but after tonight I’ll need you to prove you’re a gentleman.”

With that, you left his bedroom, thinking it would be safer to put some distance between the two of you.

“Where are you going?” He called out.

“To get you water and some painkillers!” You heard him grumble, but couldn’t make out his words. The kitchen was a big distance from the bedroom, his place was just that big. You wondered if he ever felt lonely, because of the place's size, you couldn’t help but also notice how empty it felt. You wondered if maybe that was the reason why he’d gotten really drunk tonight and gone to Mrs Cheesepuffs in the hopes of some late night company, even if that company involved him getting yelled at and berated.

By the time you got back to his room, you found him sound asleep on his bed. You left the water and painkillers on his bedside table, then you finished with removing his shoes and his jeans. You’d spent about five minutes debating whether or not you should take the jeans off, but then figured he’d wake up very uncomfortable if you did leave them on, and he’d already have a hangover from hell. You’d made a point to not look at his crotch whilst doing it as well.

♥♥♥

The next morning you thought about Hawks, wondering if he was okay and handling his hangover okay. You thought about maybe making him a little care package and taking it upstairs, it would have been the neighbourly thing to do after all. In the end, you decided against it.

Hawks was charming, even whilst being as drunk as a skunk, but he was a big time hero and you were just a barista. There wasn’t enough in common between you, other than the fact that you lived in the same building. You figured you’d just carry on living your life with the odd moment where you bumped into him in the hallway, maybe dealt with him after a bad night again.

Of course, much like the night before, your neighbour had other ideas.

At ten in the morning there was a knock at your door, you’d dressed for the day already, getting ready for your shift which started at lunch time. When you opened the door you were greeted by the person you least expected.

“Howdy, neighbour!” Hawks greeted you with a smile he probably gave all his fans, the kind of smile that had you smiling back.

“Hawks?”

“Oh good, you remember me,” he replied.

You couldn’t stop staring at him, not because he was even more beautiful in daylight (which he really was) but because he wasn’t showing any signs of a hangover which he definitely should have been suffering with considering how drunk he’d been acting the previous night. “Yeah, I’m more surprised you remember me, you were pretty drunk last night.”

“Right, that’s why I’m here, I’m bringing you an apology in the form of fatty foods and caffeine.” He held up a carrier bag in one hand and a tray that had two cups on it. He nodded to the room behind you. “Can I come in?”

So much for your plan of keeping your distance from him, you guessed. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to let him say sorry for your hospitality, especially when whatever was in that bag of his smelled so good. “Um, sure.” You stepped aside and opened the door wider so he could walk in.

He did so with a skip in his step, once again making you wonder if he had really been that drunk last night when he seemed to be recovering so well.

You watched as he immediately set off to the kitchen, clearly already knowing the layout inside, which wasn’t all that surprising now that you knew he had been close with the previous tenant. He walked over to the breakfast bar and plopped everything down before sitting in one of the stools, allowing his eyes to scan around your living room.

There wasn’t much decoration to it, but you had only moved in.

“You’ve made this place look a lot nicer than Mrs Cheesepuff’s ever did,” Hawks complimented, eyes moving back to you and fixing you under their attention. He really did have a way of making you feel like you’re the most important thing to him in that room, and it was doing some wonderful (and terrifying) things to your stomach.

“Thanks.” You followed in his footsteps, sitting down in the stool next to him, choosing to face him so you could speak to him directly. “Can I ask something?”

“I have a question first.” When you nodded your head in allowance, he gestured over to the boxes he’d laid out with all the food. “I got a sausage and egg muffin, a bacon sandwich and some pancakes with maple syrup. Pick whatever you want and I’ll eat whatever's left.”

“Pancakes,” you said immediately with zero hesitation, grabbing at the box he’d pointed to.

“You have a sweet tooth, noted.” He commented, continuing on before you could think too much into what he meant by that. “I also brought coffee, I didn’t put anything in it. If you need any sugar, just let me know, neighbour, I have some in my apartment.”

You smiled at him and laughed slightly, getting up and opening a cupboard where you pulled out a bag of unopened sugar, you then went to the fridge and fetched some milk, setting them out on the breakfast bar. “I also came prepared.”

You two busied yourself with readying your drinks, you noted that he kept his coffee black, but added quite a bit of sugar. Seemed you weren’t the only one with a sweet tooth. As you watched him take a bite from his greasy bacon sandwich (a look of pleasure passing over his expression as he did so, that had your thoughts veering in a certain direction) he waved his hand at you, telling you to continue with what you’d been saying before. “What was your question?”

“Right,” you chimed, grateful for the distraction, “Mrs Chesney-Wolfe, who you like to call Mrs Cheesepuff-”

“Because she always smelt like cheesepuffs,” he explained.

“Of course she did,” you said with a roll of your eyes, this woman started to seem more like a cartoon character than a real person. “My question wasn’t about the cheesepuffs though, I just wanted to know what your deal was with her, you seem to like her but everyone else in this apartment hates her.”

“She was just a load of hot air,” he explained with a shrug, a quiet look of adoration settling on his face. “I was like everyone else in the building at first, thought she was a real bitch, but then one day I saved her on her walk home, she still continued to yell at me and complain to the landlord any time I made any noise upstairs, but she also started leaving me treats at my door. That’s what I wanted to tell her last night, by the way, that I loved the blueberry muffin she’d made me.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding, because the story was the first nice thing you’d heard about your neighbour, and the explanation also made Hawks’ actions from the previous night seem more cute than annoying.

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to live up to that, I can’t bake at all,” you advised, cutting into your pancakes.

“That’s okay,” he reassured, hitting your knee with his. You then realised that at some point he’d turned his body around so he was facing you and he’d boxed your knees inside of his. “I kind of have a theory she was slowly poisoning me with them anyway.”

“And you still ate them?”

“I have very little willpower,” he chuckled.

“Don’t you need willpower to be a hero?”

He waved his fork dismissively in the air. “What I lack in willpower, I make up for with my charm and sunny disposition.”

“Uh huh,” you hummed in disbelief.

“So tell me about yourself, neighbour.”

You cringed a little at his question, there wasn’t a lot you could say about yourself that would interest a hero who rescued grumpy old ladies in his spare time. You were just a barista making ends meet who spent her spare time watching whatever was good on the telly.

“Well, first of all my name is Y/N,” you chose to start with that, mainly because you wanted to hear him say your name and stop calling you neighbours all the time.

“Y/N,” he tested it on his tongue, smiling as it rolled off. He hadn’t disappointed you, the way he’d said your name, with an edge of huskiness, had filled you up with a warmth that was starting to become familiar whenever you were around Hawks. “I like it, as beautiful as its owner.”

“There’s that hero charm,” you pointed out, trying to not take his compliments too seriously.

He winked over at you. “Don’t act like you’re not enjoying it.”

And just like that, the warmth was rising up in your stomach like magma.

The morning continued with him asking questions and conversations steering off from those. You talked about TV shows you liked, how you weren’t really big on heroes but you knew about them from some of the other things you did, like how you knew Best Jeanist because of his side hustle as a fashion designer. You talked about your job, and when you’d tried to belittle it by saying it was nowhere nearly as interesting as being a hero, he’d made a point to reassure you that he was interested, not letting you continue the conversation until you stated that you understood that.

♥♥♥

Your work day had started a lot better than it had when the hero convention was happening, that was over a week ago. The cafe had just started getting busy with the lunch time rush and your brain was back in your apartment, sharing that breakfast with Hawks where you discussed Mrs Cheesepuffs and a whole myriad of trivial things.

It was the most fun you’d had in a very long time, and despite how much you tried to convince yourself it was just a one time thing - your neighbour simply thanking you for taking care of him in his drunken stupor - that didn’t stop the flare of hope you kept feeling whenever you thought about bumping into him again in the hallway.

You were always quick to dismiss that little bit of hope. You and Hawks weren’t ever going to happen, so there was no point in thinking too much about it.

You were cleaning up a previous customer's meal, cleaning up the counter when you felt someone gently tap on your shoulder. “Hey, little bird.”

Looking up, you found yourself staring at your winged neighbour. “H-Hawks?”

“Oh my god, that’s Hawks!” Your co-worker Becky practically screeched as she tried to handle the cup of coffee she was pouring for a customer whilst taking in the pro-hero that had magically appeared.

It wasn’t so magical for you, in fact you were getting a little concerned, it felt almost like your neighbour was stalking you. You were sure he’d never visited this cafe before, you’d have recognised his beautiful wings if he had. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m doing a patrol in this area today, now it's my lunch so I figured I’d stop in here and check out the goods.” You didn’t miss the way his eyes moved up and down your body when he said ‘goods’.

“You know Hawks?!” Becky (who had somehow finished the coffee and served her customer in record time) moved to stand beside you.

Choosing to ignore your fangirling friend, you directed your words to your neighbour. “I’m working so I can’t sit and chat with you or anything.”

“That’s fine,” he shrugged, voice remaining easy and laidback. You preferred this Hawks over the cry baby that had been outside your door the other night. “Like I said, I’m just here for lunch, if you happen to also be here in my line of sight then that’s just a bonus I’ll happily accept.”

“Oh my god, Hawks is really here,” Becky continued to squeak from beside you.

You rolled your eyes at your co-worker, normally she was a lot more quiet than this. “Becky, go breathe in a paper or something, you’re worrying me.”

“What?” Your coworker started laughing a tad too loudly as she waved her hand frantically in the air. “No, I’m fine!” Despite her pushing, you didn’t believe it when she looked to the number two hero and started hyperventilating again. “It’s Hawks!”

“Nice to meet you too, Becky.” Hawks finally acknowledged her, giving her his best celebrity smile. You’d be lying if the confident look on his already far-too-good-looking face didn’t have your knees getting a little weak as well. What had them shaking was how his eyes only moved to her for a single second before they moved, almost naturally, back to you. As though he struggled to keep his eyes away from you.

Becky immediately started giggling and then she harshly grabbed on to your arm, digging her nails in slightly. “He just said my name!”

“Yes Becky, so did I, multiple times, never seen you hyperventilate over it” You hissed at your friend whilst trying to pry her off of you.

You probably weren’t being the nicest person in that moment but you were still recovering the shock from seeing Hawks again (in the place you worked, which was information you’d definitely not given him when you had breakfast together) whilst dealing with an excitable fangirl and a cafe that was quickly beginning to fill up with a lot of people who didn’t mind staring as the three of you had been conversing.

She eventually dropped her hand and then started glowering at you. “You’re not Hawks.”

And you never would be, so this whole exchange was ridiculous and a waste of time. You and Hawks clearly lived in very different worlds, and you were sure he’d get bored of you soon.

“You have no idea how happy I am about that,” you chimed back, your sunshine tone juxtaposing the frown on your face as you petted the sore spot on your arm.

Far too casually, Hawks reached out and took a hold of your wrist after noticing the way you were holding it, his eyes dragged over the red marks. He frowned, but only for a second, then he was back to being his smiley self as he looked back over to you whilst letting his thumb smooth over where it hurt, comforting you. “Ouch little bird, be careful or you’ll break my heart,” he reprimanded mirthfully.

“Why do you keep calling me that?” You asked, wanting to change the subject and distract yourself from just how comforting his touch was to you, and how warm it was making you feel.

“What?” He cocked his head to the side.

“Little bird, what happened to neighbour?”

“Neighbour!?” You realised your mistake too late. There was no doubt your co-worker would badger you with questions about your neighbour every time you shared a shift now.

“Little bird fits you better,” he offered as fact.

“No it doesn’t, I don’t have wings like you,” you argued.

“No, but your laugh is as pretty as a bird's whistle, plus you’re tiny compared to me,” Hawks explained, his tone implying that all of that should have been obvious to you.

You didn’t understand what game he was trying to play, whether it was a game of pretend or competition, but you refused to play either way. “Is that a positive?”

“Just take the compliment, Y/N,” Becky reprimanded.

“I’d do what Becky says if I were you little bird,” Hawks warned, a chuckle ruining the seriousness of his statement and you found yourself smiling along with him. Becky was certainly acting terrifying.

“Excuse me?” A customer practically snared from behind Hawks, who politely stepped aside to reveal the suited man who was standing behind him. “Can you start doing your job so we can get to ours?”

And just like that, your good mood was wiped away. You didn’t blame the customer for getting annoyed, both you and Becky had ignored him for Hawks so he had every right to be frustrated.

“Right away, sir, I’m sorry for the delay.” You pulled away from Hawks, creating some much needed space so you could concentrate on your reality rather than whatever fantasy Hawks was inviting you to spend some time in. “What can I get for you today?”

He didn’t stop glaring at you the entire time you took his order and though it was unnerving, you were used to it.

As you went and got the customers drink, you couldn’t help but muse that it was a little bit funny that despite both you and Hawks being in customer service roles (his was a bit more extreme than yours, but it was serving people just like you did), he got a much nicer reception than you ever did. There was the odd person that would thank you, but most of the time you were treated to customers like the one you were serving then, who thought they were better than you simply because you were the one giving them the goods they purchased.

His order was simple at least, just a boring black coffee that suited the boring grey suit he was wearing perfectly. As you went to hand it over to him though, he’d been too busy looking down at his phone so rather than grabbing the cup he just knocked it over, spilling hot coffee all over your hand.

It wasn’t hot enough to cause some third degree burns, but it was hot enough to have you cursing and quickly pulling your hand away, dropping the cup completely which caused splashes to fall on the man's pants.

Tears had pricked the corner of your eyes as you held your hand which was quickly turning an unhealthy shade of red, almost as red as Hawks’ feathers. Speaking of your feathered friend, he’d reacted immediately despite being in a conversation with Becky. Though you hadn’t been aware of it, his eyes had been following you the entire time you helped the grumpy customer whilst whispering to Becky, trying to get her to spill whatever secrets she had about you so he could get to know you even better.

In a matter of minutes Hawks was holding your wrist again, being sure not to touch the burns as he analysed the wound to see how bad they were. You noticed his shoulders seemed to relax when he diagnosed that the burns weren’t too bad, they’d just blister and hurt for a while.

“What the fuck!” The unhappy customer yelled out, doing his best impression of a child as he stamped his foot in the ground. “Look what you’ve done to my suit! I have a meeting in a hour! Are you really that fucking useless of your job you can’t even hold things?!”

You blinked over at him, struggling to think of what to say next as you were still in shock over the pain in your hand.

Hawks moved to stand in front of you, putting himself between you and the raging customer. He bent his head lower, his free hand moving to cup your chin so he could pull your gaze up to meet his in the middle. “You okay?” He whispered, keeping the conversation private, just between the two of you. Everybody in the cafe was currently staring at you but with how Hawks was holding you, and with the gentleness carved into his gaze, it felt more intimate than it really was.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, “not the first time I’ve been burned, probably won’t be the last.” You aimed for a joke to lighten the mood but Hawks’ expression didn’t change, he was solely focused on making sure you were okay.

“Becky,” he suddenly called out, and for a second you wondered if he’d forgotten your name.

“Yes Hawks,” Becky squeaked, not having expected the number one hero in her heart to suddenly ask for her.

“You got a first aid kit around here?” He asked her, though his eyes still remained solely focused on you.

“Yep, I’ll go get it,” she rushed off then into the back office, quickly coming back and presenting it to Hawks like she’d found buried treasure.

He nodded his thanks and finally looked away, “you okay putting our little bird back together?”

She giggled again and began to nod. You wished your friend got that elated whenever you told her to do something, most of the time she responded with sighs.

“Perfect.” Very gently, he pressed a kiss to your reddened hand, just on the edge of where there was a burn. “That kiss should help heal you right up,” he joked, sending you a wink that had you rolling your eyes. It also had your heart skipping multiple beats, almost putting you in cardiac arrest, but you did your best not to show that.

Then he turned around and walked over to the customer, and you got to see Hawks’ charm at work. He pulled the grumpy customer close and apologised for causing the distraction, putting all the blame on himself, he then offered to pay for not only that customer's replacement coffee and laundry, but then he bought everyone else in the room a drink.

It meant you and Becky had to get back to work pretty quickly, but she did most of the coffee making and you grabbed whatever snacks people wanted which only required one hand at least. By the time you were done, Hawks was gone again, his lunch break over and done with.

You didn’t notice he’d left you a note on a napkin until you’d gone to clean up where he’d been sitting, almost missing the neatly folded napkin that had ‘Little Bird’ scrawled across the front of it.

Little Bird.

Take it easy on your hand, you know if I ask Becky will tell me if you haven’t been.

Below is my phone number, I’m trusting that you won’t give it out. That includes Becky, but don’t tell her I told you that, if I’m being honest she scares me a little.

Send me a text and let me know when you’re free, lets hang out neighbour

xxx-xxx-xxxx

Beneath there was a drawing at the bottom that you really struggled to figure out. It was some sort of hieroglyphic. One looked to be exploding at the top while the other was… melting?

♥♥♥

You were laid on your couch with one bandaged hand over your head. It had been a long day, even before Hawks had shown up at your job.

When you’d gotten home, you hadn’t even been able to make it to your bed. At least tonight no one had been outside your door crying, too drunk to stand. Though, you were a little bit disappointed not to see Hawks.

You couldn’t bring yourself to text him. You’d gone to the effort of adding his number to your phone but then you’d lost all of your confidence when it came to you instigating the conversation with him. It was annoying, but you couldn’t help this nagging feeling that you shouldn’t get attached to him. He was way out of your league and the only thing bringing you together was that he was your neighbour. The differences between you and Hawks had blinded you the second you stepped into his penthouse apartment.

But you liked the attention he gave you, and the way he looked at you, and the things he said to you, and the way he stood a little too close but not close enough at the same time.

You were falling for him, that was also becoming pretty evident to you. But you’d be damned if you didn’t go down without a fight.

“Neighbour!” The man that harassed your inner thoughts suddenly yelled out from outside your door. “I can’t knock on the door, I hope you’re in there and can hear me, please let me in!”

“What the fuck, Hawks?” You questioned, rushing to get up off your couch considering how loud he’d just yelled and how panicked he sounded.

“Oh thank god you’re here, please hurry!” You did as he demanded and opened the door before he could finish the sentence, finding him leaning against your door frame, completely fine with his phone in his hand. “Damn, that was quick, you must really care about me, little bird.”

He’d changed out of his hero outfit which was all you’d ever seen him in, now he was just in a casual black t-shirt with grey joggers on and it took every power of womanly willpower you had to not immediately let your eyes drift to the crotch. You can do this, you told yourself, reminding yourself that there were bigger issues at hand, like the fact that your neighbour had given you a damn heart attack.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing Hawks?” You hissed at him, thinking about maybe hitting him but deciding he wasn’t worth hurting your already injured hand (plus, you weren’t really the violent type anyway).

“Forcing you to spend time with me seen as you’re playing hard to get,” he responded easily as he pushed his way past you (you didn’t put up that much of a fight, to be fair). “What do you want from the takeaway?”

You watched him walk further into your apartment before he draped himself down onto your couch, pushing his wings so they hung off the back. “Excuse me?”

“I can eat pretty much anything,” he said in a way of explanation.

“I can’t afford takeaway,” you responded dully, not really knowing what else to say. He’d said you were playing hard to get, so he obviously saw that you didn’t want to push him to hang out with you, but he was still there, sitting on your couch, making it look better than it had in a while.

“My treat,” he responded, “I owe you anyway after causing you problems at work, which I’m really sorry about, that hadn’t been my intention, I just wanted to see you.”

You rounded to the other side of the couch, perching yourself at the edge, as far away from Hawks as you could possibly get. “It’s okay, it’s not even your fault, that guy was being careless.”

“That guy was being a dickhead,” he snorted.

You looked over at him with wide eyes, shocked that those words had even left his mouth. “As a hero, aren’t you meant to be all nice and understanding?”

He smiled at your words with the kind of look that read ‘wow, you’re adorable’ as he started shaking his head, refuting what you’d said. “I’ll have you know, I was very nice; I nicely removed him out of the situation whilst understanding he was being a dickhead.”

“Touché,” you responded with a light chuckle, enjoying this side of Hawks. That good feeling was quickly followed by a bad feeling as you reminded yourself once more that you shouldn’t get attached to him. He either felt bad for you or was intrigued by you, he’d eventually grow bored either way and move on so there was no reason to get attached. You realised it might just be the best to cut ties there and then before you got too attached to the winged hero. “Why are you here, Hawks?”

“Already told you, if you don’t want to text me and sort out hanging out, then I’ll come to you and force you to accept my company,” he said, putting his phone down momentarily so he could look you in the eyes as he spoke to you. He’d heard the drop in your voice when you’d spoken and could tell something was up.

You shook your head at him, moving to stare in front of you so that you didn’t have to look him in the eyes anymore. “That’s not what I meant, why are you forcing your company on me when I’m clearly not meeting you in the middle? Why are you even bothering with someone like me?”

“Someone like you? What does that mean?”

“I-” He was really going to make you point out the obvious? “We may live in the same building, but I can barely afford my rent, this was just the closest place I could get to my job.”

“I don’t care about your money,” he said, gaze sharpening on you.

“It’s not just that, you go out there and you save people every day, I make coffee and then collapse on my couch at the end of every night, that’s as exciting as my life gets.” You threw your hands up in the air, in a ‘this is me’ sort of gesture. Because it was you. Basic, simple, boring, you.

“Yeah, you also take care of your annoying neighbours who drink far too much and get stuck in front of your door,” he quarrelled, not backing down as easily as you wanted him to. In fact, he seemed to be getting quite annoyed with you, as though he didn’t like the way the way you were talking about yourself.

“I only did that cause you were in front of my door,” you easily bounced back.

He shook his head, not believing you for a single second, which was fair, you hadn’t believed yourself when you said it either. “If that were the case then you wouldn’t have carried me all the way upstairs, got me into bed and made sure I was comfy, and made sure I had water and pain killers for the morning after.” He shuffled further onto the couch, and seemed to reach out to you before second-guessing himself and pulling his arm back. “Stop selling yourself short little bird, you’re a good person, you’re sweet, and I like that about you, enough to want to get to know you in every possible way.”

You stared at him, taking in his words and the tone he used, trying to gauge if he really meant it. Maybe he did. Maybe your charming, attractive, neighbour really did feel interested towards you. And maybe that was just about the craziest thing you’ve heard in a long time. “I’m not all that fun after a day shift, I’m probably going to go to bed soon.”

It was your last defence, but it barely had any foundation, the way you’d said the words had been so weak, almost as though your heart and body were fighting two different battles. Your mind is trying to convince you that spending any more time with your neighbour would just lead you to an unnecessary heartache, while your heart told you to take that leap of faith, to let him in.

“Have you eaten tea yet?” He asked, eyeing you up. The war was still going on, so you couldn’t decide on what the best thing would be to say. No you didn’t, but if you told him you had then he’d leave. Nothing came out of your mouth. “Did you even have lunch?” He continued, and still, you said nothing, cementing the decision in Hawks mind. He picked his phone back up, unlocking it and getting to work. “Right, well if you don’t tell me what you want I’m just gonna order every different kind of food I can find.”

You quickly reached out, not wanting him to waste all of his money and truly believing that the mad man would be willing to do something like that. “I like pizza,” you offered, your heart doing a little happy dance in your chest as you finally took that leap and opened yourself to whatever kind of relationship Hawks wanted to pursue with you.

“Me too,” he was grinning back at you, that look of happiness on his face more of a reward than the pizza would be.

As he ordered the pizza, the two of you also worked on deciding what TV show to watch. He understood that you were tired and wouldn’t be up for much conversation, in fact he continued to reassure you that he was just happy to be there with you.

Eventually you decided on a comedy TV show that you’d both been wanting to watch, it was a big commitment, ten whole seasons. But still, you’d started it with Hawks, knowing full well that you wouldn’t be able to watch any more episodes without him.

As the night started out, you ate your pizza on different ends of the couch. Then, after eating, Hawks took your plates into the kitchen and when he returned he sat a bit closer.

Two episodes later, he let out a yawn and laid his head on your lap.

“Comfy?” You’d joked, swallowing down your nerves at how close he now was to a certain body part which had been tingling ever since his arrival.

“Enough to fall asleep,” he mumbled as he grabbed a hold of your hand, moving it over to his hair. It was obvious what he wanted to do, and you couldn’t help yourself, the hair beneath your fingers was surprisingly soft. It was clearly windswept from all the flying he did, but he managed to keep it as fluffy as the clouds he flew through.

Hawks had trapped you with this. You grew too comfortable and then you fell asleep. Right there on the couch with your hand in his hair and his head on your lap.

He’d looked up after you stopped petting him, ready to make some sort of banter, but when he saw you asleep he just smiled gently. He grabbed a hold of the remote to turn the TV off, then as gently as he possibly could, he lifted you up and carried you to bed. He accidentally walked into your bathroom at first, but he found your bedroom on his second go.

He laid you tenderly on to your bed, allowing his hand to sweep across the curve of your body as he dropped you down onto your pillows. You’d already been in your pj’s so he didn’t have as much a hard time as you did when you’d taken him to bed.

Your bed may not have been as large as his, but Hawks still had a hard time resisting getting into bed and cuddling up with you.

He won (or lost, depending on your point of view) in the end and left you be. When you woke up a few hours later, it took you walking out to the kitchen before you realised that you must have fallen asleep on your neighbour. You were only reminded of your night together when you saw the small pile of dishes that Hawks had washed up and set to dry.

♥♥♥

“This doesn’t count,” Hawks said as he walked up towards you at the counter where you worked.

“What?” You asked, confused at his sudden appearance and the words he’d thrown at you. What happened to ‘hello’?

“I just need to ask you something really quickly,” he explained, though it didn’t really answer any of your questions. “I’ve been invited to a birthday party tonight, will you come with me?”

“Whose birthday?”

“You don’t know him, just a friend.” He waved his hand in the air. It was clear he was in a rush, his hands were tapping on the counter and his eyes kept looking back at the doorway. “Come on,” he whined, “you don’t want to make me go all alone do you, that wouldn’t be very neighbourly of you.”

You’d hung out twice since he first ambushed you in your own home and force fed you pizza, mostly you were just chilling out and watching your TV show but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t already very attached to Hawks. He knew exactly what to say to make you laugh, and even when he was being annoying, he was looking out for your best interest. He made sure you ate and drank plenty of water, and he had no issue with you passing out in the middle of a TV show, he just carried you to bed and then cleaned up any mess you guys had made.

And he’d never complained about being the one to clean up either. You guess you owed him for that.

“Fine, but you at least need to tell me the dress code,” you bargained before he could rush off and leave you panicking for the rest of the night.

“Fancy schmancy,” he responded.

“I’m a barista, I don’t own ‘fancy schmancy’,” you deadpanned back to him.

“I can sort that out, maybe you can borrow one of my suits,” he replied, leaning down on the counter, head in hand as he looked at you with a dopey smile on his face. He’d started relaxing, despite the rush he’d felt earlier, it was just his body's natural response to you. When you didn’t respond back with a smile he just chuckled lowly. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll get you an outfit sorted.”

“Why does that feel like it could end worse than if I just turned up in a potato sack?” You said, a sudden feeling of foreboding swooping over you.

He reached out, booping your nose, “because you worry too much.”

Mocking him, you reached out and booped his nose back, though he scrunched his face up and looked so adorable you lost your breath for your second. “You don’t worry enough.”

“I’ve just learned the right things to worry about,” he shrugged, straightening back up, obviously getting ready to leave. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, it doesn't matter what you wear. But seriously, let me take care of your outfit, it’s the least I could do after throwing this on you out of nowhere, and I promise to not put you in something gross.”

“Or something tiny,” you quickly inputted. What else could you say? He’d just said you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. You wanted to call him certifiably insane.

He put his hand on his chest, as though he was making a solemn promise. “I will try my best.”

You took a second to actually agree with him. You hated that he’d bought every meal so far and that he was offering to even buy you outfits, sure, he had money but you had pride too. You think he knew how uncomfortable you were with it, because he always tried to change things around so it seemed like he was paying you back, rather than just giving you something for free.

“Fine,” you mumbled.

Whatever guilt you felt over accepting his charity quickly disappeared when he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your check. “‘Atta girl,” he whispered in your ear before jumping away from the counter and speed walking to the door. “See you tonight!”

♥♥♥

Hawks was going to be at yours soon, you knew that, you were very aware, but you were sitting on the edge of your bed staring at the dress you’d found on your doorstep. You’d finished readying your hair and was about to get the dress put on when you opened up the lid of the box and saw the gown contained in it.

It was beautiful, the exact same colour as Hawks’ wings. You knew that was probably purposeful but you didn’t care, it just made you that much giddier.

“Y/N?” Your charitable neighbour was right on time in fact, one glance at the clock on your wall told you he was actually ten minutes early. What you didn’t know was that he’d been ready an hour ago and spent his time pacing upstairs, resisting the urge to just go hang out with you earlier than planned. He didn’t want to seem too eager, and he figured being ten minutes earlier showed he was just good at being punctual rather than just being desperate to see you.

“Two seconds, I need to finish getting the dress on.” You called out, shaking your head and deciding to just get in it. Sure, you felt like your skin was tainting it despite having showered thoroughly beforehand. Even the material was softer than anything you’d ever felt before. You were far too poor to be wearing a dress like that.

“Do you like it?” He asked, remaining outside the door.

“It’s gorgeous,” you replied, doing little hops around your bedroom as you pulled it up. Once the shoulder straps were in place, you let your hands trail down the poofy skirt, noticing the embroidered feather pattern that had been sewn in. Another beautiful reminder of the beautiful man who had gotten you this dress. “Don’t know about the colour though.”

“Really? The colour is my favourite part.” Hawks responded.

“I could have guessed that,” you chuckled. Taking one last look in the mirror you decided you’d do. You weren’t a model, you’d never be stunning. Despite what Hawks had said earlier when he’d asked you to go to the party, you weren’t the most beautiful girl in the world, you weren’t even second, or hundredth. But that was okay, because your dress was the most beautiful dress in the world.

You opened up the front door for Hawks, spinning around and pointing at your back. “Zip me up?”

“Whoa, whoa,” he chanted, hands moving to grip your waist so he could turn your back to face him, smiling at your confused expression. “You can’t just reveal all this goodness and not give me a chance to stare.” After his eyes roamed over the front of you, he pushed at your hips again, making you spin around. A giggle escaped you despite your best efforts to try to stay calm and cool. “I was wrong earlier,” he continued, “you’re something more than beautiful, I don’t think a word exists for you yet.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you responded, shaking your head at him. Even if you wanted to deny him, his words still tore through your skin and nestled into your heart. You knew they’d stay there through the next few weeks or so, thriving.

“You’re still cute,” he retorted with a cut wrinkle of his nose.

“Thought I was ‘more than beautiful’,” you argued, finding it easier to joke than take the conversation as seriously as Hawks seemed to be.

“You’re both,” he shrugged with ease, squeezing your hips in a way that you guessed was meant to be reassuring.

“Noted,” you said, because that’s all you really could say. Until you looked at him, truly taking in the all black suit he wore. It was clearly tailor made, hugging his body in all the right places. “You look really handsome.”

“Thanks.” He grinned down at you. “See, that’s how you take a compliment.”

You just rolled your eyes at him before turning away. “Thank you for the lesson, now, my zip?”

“Of course.” He stepped close, maybe a little too close considering all he needed to do was zip up the back of your dress. But you weren't about to push him away, not when the heat of his body was warming up yours so deliciously, making you feel so safe. His head, which was bent downward so he could look down at the zip, bumped against yours. “You smell good too.” Shamelessly, Hawks let his nose drift down to your neck.

You were starting to think he had some sort of obsession with that spot on your body, it was where he’d first touched you at the start of your friendship, and he always seemed to go back there like a moth to a flame.

“Hawks…” You weren’t sure if you were about to ask him something or maybe beg him, the words got lost as his hands gripped tighter at your waist the moment you whispered his name in that husky tone.

He hummed as he let his nose stroke the curve of your neck one more time before pulling away, “we better get to the car before I drag you up to my place and lock you inside my bedroom.”

“Yeah, of course.” The words came out as a squeak, unable to read from Hawks’ expression if he was joking or not because he moved too quickly, pulling you out of your apartment and taking you down the stairs, not letting you see his face at all.

“We can do that later,” he continued on, sounding quite cheerful over the prospect.

You didn’t respond. You would have agreed quite eagerly, but you still weren’t sure if he was joking or not, and your pride wouldn’t let you come across as too eager.

When you got downstairs, he moved over to a large fancy black car and opened up the door for you. Once you slipped inside, he moved in close to you, doing his best to not let his wings get in the way. You could understand why he normally chose to fly over getting stuffed in a car.

As the car set off, things started to become a bit more real for you. You were on your way to the kind of effort where you needed to dress as nicely as you and Hawks were. You were used to just going to bars whenever it was one of your friends birthdays, nothing like this.

“You don’t need to be nervous,” he said, noticing how rigid you became as soon as the car started moving.

“Yes I do.” You chose to be honest, trusting Hawks enough with that. “This is all normal for you so you don’t get it.”

Proving why he was chosen to be number two hero, he paused to take in your words, nodding as they sunk in. “You’re not wrong, maybe I am numb to it, but I’m still here for you and I’m still going to do everything I can to make sure you have a good night.” He reached out, taking your hand into his and you found yourself grateful for the contact.

“I appreciate that, Hawks.” What did you do so right? To have a man like Hawks, a number two hero full of charm and good looks and the kindest of hearts, want to be around you, supporting you, letting you thrive? In your past life you must have been a saint.

“What do you give a sick bird?”

“Excuse me?” You questioned, unsure where the words came from and what they had to do with what you’d just been talking about.

“A tweet-ment.” Hawks laughed harder than you did at his own joke, though a few chuckles did escape you, mostly at the ridiculousness of him throwing out a bird joke.

“That was awful,” you cringed, nose wrinkling in a way that immediately had Hawks leaning over and booping you. That seemed to be another one of Hawks’ favourite things to do.

No matter how much you protested, he continued to tell you more bird jokes. You wanted to say you were surprised by how many jokes he made, but you weren’t all that surprised. This was Hawks. Of course there was a special part of his brain saved exclusively for bird jokes.

You were laughing so hard you barely noticed when you reached the house where the party was held- wait, no, it wasn’t a house at all. Your eyes bulged as you took in the mansion you’d parked in front of. Outside there were multiple banners which all had an image of the one hero you’d always be a minute to recognise.

Your hand that was cradling Hawks turned into a vice-like grip. “Hold on a minute, this is Best Jeanist’s birthday party?”

“Oh great, you do know him,” Hawks said, as though it were just some lucky coincidence.

You glowered over at him. “You know I know him, we spoke about him the first time we met.”

A single look of ‘oops, I got caught’ flashed across his face before he covered it in a cheesy smile. “Aw, you remembered,” he feigned adoration as he pressed his free hand against his heart.

“Hawks.” It was a single word, just his name, but you’d pushed enough seriousness into it that it broke through his charade.

“I knew if I told you, you’d freak out and talk yourself out of coming,” he admitted, giving your hand a squeeze, though it was more to comfort himself. He then gave you another determined love, recovering from the moment of insecurity quickly and easily, a trait of his you wished you could share in. “It’s not a big deal, everyone here are friends, not heroes.”

“But they are heroes, Hawks, big time heroes, I’m a nobody.”

You knew you’d made a mistake when you finished your sentence and Hawks was glaring straight at you. He shuffled closer until he was crowding into your space. It wasn’t yours anymore, it was his.

“You’re my girl,” he asserted, hand tipping up your jaw so you could look into his eyes and see just how much he meant that. The look of seriousness softened as he continued, “please, just give it an hour and if you hate it then I promise we’ll leave.”

Who were you to argue with that? The number two hero had claimed you, and promised you safety. That claiming was all you could really think about so you let him drag you out of the car and into the building, his arm soon wrapping around your waist as you walked together.

“Jeanist!” Your neighbour called out, making you jump a little as he pulled you from your stupor, changing the directory that you were walking in. The only reason you didn’t fall over was because of Hawks grip around you.

“Hello, Hawks,” the famous fashion-designer-slash-superhero greeted, his eyes soon moving over to you, “ah, you must be the girl who’s got our number two hero acting like a love drunk puppy.”

“That’s her,” Hawks admitted unabashedly.

“Uh, hi, happy birthday.” You were nervous and despite your best attempts, the shakiness showed in your voice. Jeanist was stylish and intense, even when he was in a relaxed setting he seemed to uphold that.

“Thank you, do you like the dress?” He asked, waving his hand graciously, “It’s not my best work but Hawks limited me on what I could do, still, you make it look lovely.”

“Y-your dress? You made this dress.” You blinked up at him. Head empty, just thoughts about the fact that you were in a custom Best Jeanist dress. “You made this dress.” You couldn’t stop repeating it, you looked over to Hawks and said it one more time, just for good measure. “Best Jeanist made this dress.”

You realised you were starting to act like Becky had and tried to pull your fragmented mind back together but ohmygodyouwerewearingafreakingbestjeanistdress.

“He did, but you look so good in that dress, you make it your own,” Best Jeanist replied, unbothered by your fangirl antics, he was profusely used to it by that point in his career.

“He’s not wrong,” Hawks agreed, squeezing you slightly, a proud look on his face.

“Thank you,” you responded, “thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” he nodded coolly, “if you don’t mind I need to finish making the rounds.”

“No worries, have a nice night,” Hawks said and you were glad he was able to speak civilly to the hero, you were still too awestruck to carry a normal conversation.

“You too, don’t try to have another drinking competition with Endeavour, please.” Those were Best Jeanist’s last words to Hawks as he strolled away to a group that was standing in the corner. You recognised one of them as Mt. Lady, a hero who had caught everyone's eyes (she was too big to miss sometimes) because of the way she dominated a battlefield and how good she looked as she did it.

You looked over at HAwks, wondering if he’d become entranced by any of the other beautiful heroes that surrounded you but he was still just looking at you, a content smile on his lips, the exact same smile he’d wear when he rested with his head on your lap.

That smile meant a lot to you. You didn’t realise until that moment, but the fact that he gifted you that smile was continuous proof that he not only wanted to be around you, but he enjoyed it.

Together with Hawks you make your own way around the gala, saying hello to everyone whilst you did your best not to get star struck.

Eventually you did bump into Endeavour and it took everything in you not to ask the man for an autograph. He was curt and polite, keeping the conversation short. Once he left, you revealed to Hawks that Endeavour was always your favourite as a kid. What you weren’t expecting was how excited that made Hawks become as he revealed Endeavour was also his favourite, this led to the two of you finding a spot in the hall and swapping stories of your favourite Endeavour rescues or fights.

“He’s so cool,” Hawks said with a dreamy sigh.

“Yeah,” you agreed, leaning back in your chair, “but, I don’t know, another hero has caught my eye lately, I might have a new favourite.”

He kisses your hand, but it’s obvious from the heated look that he wants to do more. You wanted him to do more. You weren’t sure when that move from neighbours to more had occurred, but you weren’t hating it either.

You liked the way Hawks made you feel, and you liked him. Not just his looks, but his personality, his charm, his cuddliness and even his bird jokes.

“Want to dance?” He eventually asked.

“Sure.” You both left your drinks on the table, taking to the dance floor where an upbeat, but slow, melody was being played by a band. Falling into Hawks’ arms, letting him wrap his arms around you, was easy. He’d spent so much time with you, touching your body in little ways, that being this close didn’t feel intimidating at all, it was natural.

Together, you swayed, your chin resting on his shoulder while he leaned his head back against yours.

Pushing a bit closer, he nuzzled your neck before whispering in your ear. “So, we’re up to date five now, how would you say I am doing?”

“Date five?” You queried, eyebrows coming together as a look of confusion passed your expression. Was this a date? When did date one, two, three and four, happen?

“Yeah,” He leaned back, removing one hand from around your waist so he could hold it up and begin counting on his fingers, “breakfast after we met, lunch date at the cafe, takeaway and TV shows yesterday and two nights ago, think that's five.”

“Those were dates?”

He gave a firm nod. “You said I needed to take you out ten times if I hoped to have a chance with you.”

It took you a moment to recognise what he was talking about. Then it clicked, that was what you’d said to him in a moment of angry passion after you’d stopped him from trying to kiss you whilst being far too inebriated. It had been a joke though, just a throw away statement to get him to stop pestering you. Yet, in the end, it had only gotten him to pester you more, not that you weren’t grateful for that.

“You remembered that?” You asked, feeling a lot of emotions. Shock, awe, adoration.

“Can’t forget it, you were being all bossy and cute,” he chuckled lowly. Hiding behind all that jokiness was nerves though, you saw it in the way his eyes seemed to roam over your expression, trying to read your emotions. You felt it in the fingers that were digging into your hips, stopping you from making a run from it, not that you wanted to.

“And you… you’d be willing to do five more? You’d want to hang out that much, knowing there’s no reward for you?” It seemed like such a silly question, but you felt the need to ask it anyway. All this time you’d been nervous, thinking that he was wasting both of your time, that he didn’t want anything to do with you later, but how could you say that when he was putting so much effort into getting to know you? So much effort into getting to be with you?

“I’m very much hoping for a reward, but yeah, I would, I do actually like hanging out with you.”

That was it, there was no stopping you as you pulled him down to you and slammed your lips against his. There was so much neediness coming from you as your hands dug into his hair, normally your pride would have stopped you from doing this but you couldn’t help yourself. This man wanted to know you, he wanted to hang out with you, he wanted to be with you.

Even if it was just for ten stupid dates, it was the most effort anyone has put into getting to know you, and you were honoured to even be in this angel’s presence.

Once you pulled away, you were gasping for air. Hawks was exactly the same, which made that fire in you become even more consuming. You wanted him. No, you needed him.

“I don’t think I can make it to our tenth date, Hawks.”

He leaned forward, nipping at your lip. “Is that so?” For the first time since you entered the party, he wasn’t smiling at you, he was entranced by your mouth.

“Please.” That was the magic word, as Hawks moved his hands from your waist, taking your hands and beginning to guide you out of the building.

Once outside, he surrounded you. “Do you trust me?” Without hesitation you nodded, he smiled at that, letting his fingers trace your jawline. He was touching you so much now. You imagined this was what he’d really been wanting to do every time you hung out. “Need your words, pretty girl.”

“Yes, I trust you,” you confirmed, feeling breathless.

But you didn’t really know the meaning of breathless until he began to fly up into the sky with you in his arms, you wrapped your limbs tightly around him, feeling the wind push against your hair.

This was what Hawks got to feel every day, and he was sharing that part of it with you. You let out a little scream, but it was obviously filled with more joy than terror. Though you couldn’t hear him because of the wind whipping past your ears, you felt the rumble of a chuckle in his chest which he’d pinned you tightly against.

You made it to Hawks' apartment building in record time, almost as though flying was quicker than dealing with the city traffic. He didn’t drop you from his arms, still holding you tightly, unwilling to let you leave his side. You landed on his patio and he led the both of you into his large kitchen/living room before guiding you into his bedroom, where it all started between the two of you.

Much like the first time you’d been in there, his lips fell down to your neck, teeth immediately grazing your skin. “Want to mark you up, make you mine,” he mumbled, voice trembling with the same lust that vibrated through your body and on your skin.

“Do it,” you responded with zero hesitation, this was the first time you’d been sure of him and what you both wanted. “Need you, Hawks.”

“Keigo,” he mumbled, and at first it sounded like a bunch of noise.

“Huh?” You pulled on his hair, pulling him away from your neck and earning a whine from the eager biter.

“Keigo,” he repeated, “it’s my real name, if you’re going to moan anything, let it be that.”

“Keigo,” you repeated, liking the way it felt in your mouth. You knew there would be other parts of Keigo that felt just as nice in your mouth as well. But you would get to that, tonight you were desperate for all of him and you’d feast on him soon, but you wanted to feel him inside you. Needed it. Needed that connection with him. “Screw five more dates, fuck me, Keigo.” You weren’t used to being so bold but you managed to get the words out, even whilst a blush covered your cheeks.

He didn’t respond at first, laying you down with a gentleness he was not offering to your neck. He continued working his way around your neck, then down to your breast. Sucking, biting, licking. He was giving you every glorious sensation that he could with his mouth and it had your hips rising into the air, desperate to feel the same friction he’d started treating your breast with.

You aimed your hips up, managing to rub against his crotch, feeling his hardness pressed up against his pants. You moaned unabashedly. “Please, need you.”

He growled, pushing your dress down so he could bite down on one of your nipples, earning another noise of pleasure from you. He continued nibbling as he pushed his hard dick against your crotch, your clothes messily piled up in your centre. If you weren’t so desperate, you would have taken the time to take them off but there simply wasn’t any time for that.

Then, Keigo pulled away entirely. You reached out, managing only to grab onto his biceps.

“I’m not fucking you tonight,” he explained, “I’m sticking to my word, I’ll prove to you I’m a gentlemen worthy of your cunt.”

“I don’t care about that anymore, please,” you whined out, beginning to claw at him, trying to pull him closer. You saw the smirk on his face, saw how much he was enjoying it, but you simply didn’t care. You were so desperate, already on the edge, already soaked, just from the way he’d claimed you as his with those love bites.

He leaned forward, pressing the gentlest of kisses to your lips. “It’ll be okay baby, you never said anything about kisses, so I just need to kiss you in the right place.”

His words didn’t click in your head until he began to lower himself down your body. Down where no man had gone before. “Hawks, wait-”

He snapped back up so his face was in front of yours, hand cupping your jaw as a growl slipped past his teeth, “Keigo.” He reminded you of his name and then kissed you hard, imprinting the name in your mind in the same way he kissed you so hard, you’d always feel the phantom pain of him against you.

When he pulled away, he took all of your thoughts with him. You let him take his pants off, earning a ‘good girl’ when you didn’t put up any more fight. You watched him go down, bunching up your dress so he could take in all of your perfection.

Tonight was not the night for gentleness, it was all about feeding a hunger that had been growing over the past five dates.

His tongue immediately lashed at your clit, his mouth following and sucking you up. Your hips rocked up automatically, the new sensation almost bringing you to orgasm. He placed one arm across your waist, holding you down onto the bed so you couldn’t get away from him, so he could properly feast on you.

“Keigo!” His tongue trailed up and down from your hole to your clit then back down, stretching inside of you, filling you up.

“You taste so good baby,” he whined out, mouth never leaving you.

He was going all in, holding nothing back, eating out your cunt and tasting your sweet nectar like it was his next meal.

You weren’t afforded any time to be shy about how animalistic he was being, you were just a meal after all, all you needed to do was lay there and look pretty and take the lashings from his tongue.

It was a punishment and the greatest gift you’ve ever been given.

You rolled off the edge as dramatically as an avalanche fell from a mountain, your whole body quaking as fireworks went off inside of you, all centering at your core where he didn’t bother slowing. He rode you just as hard as you did your orgasm, his tongue never ceasing its movements. You weren’t sure when his fingers joined but they were piercing in and out of you at a speed that only the fastest superhero alive could manage to give you.

You wished you could see his face, see the way your mess covered his face, but that was the price you paid for not taking the time out to remove your dress. Next time, you told yourself.

And there would be a next time.

Soon enough the fireworks were becoming too much and you couldn’t help the full body twitches. “Keigo, please, too much.”

You managed to move up to your elbows so you could see a bit more of him, you couldn’t see his face still, but you could see his hips and how they were rutting into the bed, trying to get as much friction as they could.

He needed to cum, and who were you to take that away from him?

You decided you wanted to be the girl who gave it to him instead.

Reaching out you tugged at his hair, earning another groan before he nuzzled deeper into your cunt, causing you to let out a groan of your own.

“Keigo, please, I want kisses,” you tried to keep your tone sweet, but it was hard with how torn your throat had become from all the whining you’d done previously.

Still, your words had their desired effect and he finally released your oversensitive clit from his lips. Wasting no time, he raised up and crawled over you, pinning you back down on the bed and pressing his lips on yours.

You tasted yourself on him and you didn’t care, it just made you wetter, knowing that it was your taste on his tongue. Knowing it was your nectar he’d gotten drunk on.

Moving your hips slowly so you didn’t surprise him, you raised them up and stroked yourself against the crotch of his pants. He was even harder than before, which you thought was impossible. Beneath his clothes, his cock was stuck against his right leg, and when you rubbed against it, on instinct he met your thrusts.

You moved your head to the side, letting your lips trail up his jaw as you rubbed against him again, purposefully going slow, teasing him, unravelling his mind the same way he had done yours.

“Use me, Keigo.”

The whine that followed your words was absolutely pathetic, but he did as you asked, beginning to thrust harder, rubbing against your leg, using you to get the release he so desperately needed.

His head fell back into the crook of your neck, his favourite place. “Fuck,” he whimpered, moving faster and faster, unable to get enough. He never would, not until he felt your cunt wrapped around his cock.

“That’s it, good boy,” you praised, feeling him begin to press harder. “Cum for me.”

He seemed to get what you were doing and he quickly tried to take charge, his hand taking its place around your neck, the perfect collar. “That’s what you want, isn’t it, little bird?”

“You want my cum so badly don’t you? Want me to paint your insides?” Every word was interrupted by a harsh breath as he worked himself against you, his eyes rolling to the back of his head despite how hard he was trying to stay in control.

“Yeah, yes, I want it Keigo, please.” You weren’t even sure what you were saying, you just knew you needed him to cum and would say whatever you had to, to get him there.

He couldn’t last much longer, your heat against him tugging him over that edge. His hips continued to rut against you as he came again and again, filthying his pants for you.

All for you.

The two of you laid in the glow of what you’d just done for several moments. You were filthy, sweaty, out of breath, but vibrant with orgasmic bliss.

His full weight was on top of you and it still wasn’t enough, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer and he began to leave sweet kisses on the bruises he’d covered you in. Once he’d given tender love to each individual one, he finally rose up.

When he stood, you took in just how much of a perfect mess you’d made him into. His suit was crumpled and there was an obvious stain on his pants. His hair looked as messy as it usually did though.

He moved over to the drawers across from his bed, wordlessly opening it and beginning to dig through what was inside.

You began to realise it was over, and you had no idea what to do with yourself. Did you just go downstairs to your room? Was that it, just wait until the next date. Awkwardness began to mix in with your sweat, the smile on your face melting into a frown as you tried to figure out what was the best next set of actions.

Suddenly, your vision was covered by a fabric. Pulling it off your face, you realised it was one of Keigo’s shirts, and a pair of underwear followed, landing in your lap.

“You can go use the en suite to get cleaned up, I’ll use the bathroom down the hall,” Keigo said, turning to face you with a change of clothes for himself in his hands. “Then, we cuddle.”

He said it so matter-of-factly, as though the decision was already made, and you had no issue with that.

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mccoys-killer-queen · 10 months

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Okay so Elton John and Rod Stewart were always trying to playfully fucking sabotage each other back in the day to the point where Elton got Rod's advertising blimp shot down and that's not the point I'm trying to make in this post but it felt relevant for comparison to the point I actually want to make-

Here's the backstory:

So if you haven't listened to Tommy Shaw's podcast you really should but in one of the episodes he did with Kevin Cronin, Kevin talks about how Styx and REO were very low key at each other's throats for decades without actually being rivals- starting with TW4 (a fetus version of Styx) and Kevin's first band doing a "battle of the bands" at Kevin's high school (because they were all from Illinois) and TW4 absolutely ANNIHILATING Kevin's wimpy ass band at his own school.

Flash forward 10+ years later to 1981 and Hi Infidelity is absolutely dominating the charts in America for months, giving REO Speedwagon the superstardom they worked and waited for so patiently. Kevin said every Tuesday someone from Epic would call them to tell them the position the album was in, and he said after so many weeks of it being #1 they just stopped picking up the phone because they didn't feel the need to hear it again- they already knew it was still up there.

Until one day it wasn't.

One Tuesday, when the phone call came, they said "the album is #2. Styx is #1."

Kevin realized that TW4 was schooling him all over again and he was like gOD DAMMIT

So here's the point I'm trying to make:

THEY FUCKIN BEAT THEM TO MTV IN THE END THO LOL

but at the same time REO's very first video on MTV was also the first video on MTV to experience technical difficulties and was accidentally cut short after 12 seconds on the air oop

but also at the same time as that, the corner text for Styx's first video on MTV got the name of the song wrong (listed as Rockin' Paradise),

So in conclusion there really was no winner here besides the fact they both got played as one of the first 10 videos ever broadcast on MTV

#baby i could tell u useless facts like you've never seen #reo speedwagon #styx #tommy shaw #kevin cronin #elton john #rod stewart #mtv #it's 1:30 it's storming outside really hard and i'm on a hyperfixation info hunt #bc i'm Afraid of Thunderstorms #i hate jumpscares

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markantonys · 2 years

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crossroads of twilight chapter 15-end

elenia and mellar have so many rude and infuriating and incorrect and evil thoughts about elayne and i cannot wait for her to kick their asses into next tuesday

in mellar’s pov we hear a whole lot of instances of him killing women, because of course Killing A Woman is the sign of true evil and our heroes are good because they only kill men and spare women even when it is a COLASSALLY STUPID MOVE BECAUSE THE WOMAN IN QUESTION IS EVIL AND DANGEROUS AND WILL KILL AGAIN IF LEFT ALIVE. anyway.

i forgot to say this in past books but i go crazy over the fact that at this stage in the series, egwene has a horse named daishar and rand one named tai’daishar. they are foils!!!!!! (egwene and rand, not the horses. tai’daishar and jeade’en are the Horse Foils of the series, and i miss jeade’en immensely. fuck tai’daishar, all my homies hate tai’daishar. no i’m sure he’s a good boy, it’s just that i'm devastated about what he symbolizes about rand’s character arc.)

egwene has reached tar valon! after leaving for that destination 4 books ago! she thinks about how the white tower is Home. girl you were in the tower for a grand total of, what, 3 months? lmao

egwene is thinking about how she has only bad options in front of her (there’s no way to take back the tower without people dying) and has to pick the one that’s least wrong. the parallels with rand!!! they are foils!!!!

“how long ago had it been that she reached tar valon by that same route [a ship]? almost beyond memory, it seemed. an age gone. it had been another woman who came ashore and was met by the mistress of novices.” “egwene compared the farms they passed to those in the two rivers. perhaps the realization that the two rivers was no longer home made her study them. acknowledging the truth could never be a betrayal, yet she needed to remember the two rivers. you could forget who you were if you forgot where you came from, and sometimes the innkeeper’s daughter from emond’s field seemed a stranger to her.” 😭😭😭 KIDS GROW THE FUCK UP SO FAST THESE DAYS 😭😭

egwene going “of course i’m willing to negotiate with elaida! my terms are her complete and total surrender 😤” an icon and a legend, i love her

“leane paid minute attention to her clothes since joining the green ajah.” 🙄 not sure which is more annoying, the fact that Being Hot has become leane’s entire personality (she really was the blueprint for min huh?) or the fact that Being Hot is the entire green ajah’s entire personality. the concept of switching ajahs would be so interesting to explore if leane had had ANY motivation for it besides “i want to be green so i can fuck” lmao

from the next chapter: “[leane’s report was] written on thin sheets of paper in a flowing elegant hand. egwene could not see exactly why, but you could never doubt that anything leane wrote had been written by a woman.” passages that make you shout WHAT out loud jkfjgh even leane’s handwriting is Hot, i guess!

a couple of aes sedai have managed to make ter’angreal. dammit, that’s elayne’s thing! i know The Point is that knowledge is being rediscovered and channelers are growing more powerful again, but every time i see someone who can do elayne’s special talent, someone who’s even stronger in the power than nynaeve etc, i sulk. they are my special once-in-an-Age girls, thank you very much!

egwene’s learned how to make cuendillar! did moghedien teach her or did she figure it out on her own? i don’t remember it being mentioned before, and i feel like it should’ve been. why didn’t we see egwene making this discovery? all the interesting things are happening offscreen between books in this portion of the series. we’ve barely seen egwene in the past few books, but of her little screentime, i could’ve used less Sitting In Tents Worrying About Things and more Making Groundbreaking Magical Discoveries.

update: egwene did discover it by herself! moghedien “pointed the way” but didn’t actually know how to make cuendillar

“‘aes sedai should not be making things for...sale.’ salita invested that word with all the scorn of a woman who accepted the income from her estate in tear without ever thinking how it had been come by.” JSKDJFG egwene went for the THROAT the innkeeper’s daughter from emond’s field IS still in there

“she did not even know where in the world gawyn was, or what to do if she learned. he had his duty to andor, and she hers to the tower. and the one way to bridge that chasm, bonding him, might lead to his death. better to let him go, forget him entirely. as easy as forgetting her own name.” STARCROSSED................. (and once again, egwene-rand parallels! thinking their love interest is Better Off Without Them)

i HAVE been wondering, if egwene bonds gawyn (which she knows she will due to prophetic dream and i know she will due to spoilers, but i repeat that i know nothing else about gawyn’s future besides this bare fact and the bare fact of his ultimate fate, but no clue how either thing happens or anything else he might get up to, so if you spoil me on even the most minor thing about him you’ll be my enemy for life. he’s probably my least-spoiled major character and i want to preserve that!) anyway if egwene bonds gawyn, what will elayne do? who will be her first prince of the sword? poor birgitte’s frothing at the mouth for gawyn to come home and take all those responsibilities off her plate. hey you know who would be a GREAT first prince of the sword? MAT!! altho maybe it has to be a member of the queen’s family. oh, so elayne can just marry mat and then he’s an official member of house trakand, boom, all problems solved for everybody!

aha, following up from our discussion the other week, egwene confirms that “swearing on the oath rod shortens our lives by half at least”

egwene: no one wants to die before they must rand: [looks at the camera like he’s on the office]

there are rumors circulating among egwene’s aes sedai that there are aes sedai under rand’s control. “no one had mentioned Compulsion aloud that egwene knew of, but they had to be thinking it.” “‘i don’t want to think about using the fact that rand may have Compelled sisters. i don’t want to think about the possibility that he could have.’ neither about the possibility that he knew such a repulsive weave, or that he could lay that weave on anyone. she knew it - another little gift from moghedien - and very much wished she could forget how to make it.” damn lots to unpack here! 1) egwene knows compulsion!!! um!!!!!! Yet Another thing i wish we’d seen her learn onscreen (but as always, disclaimer that maybe we did and i just forgot). i wonder if she’ll end up using it after all someday, it’s too tantalizing to slip in that she knows it only for nothing to ever come of it. 2) once again, lack of communication is hindering everybody and making the series twice as long as it needs to be. 3) ever since loc i’ve been foreseeing rand vs. egwene conflict about rand making aes sedai swear fealty to him, and we’re fiiiiinally starting to see it brewing. 4) egwene hates the thought of rand using compulsion and doesn’t want to entertain it, but she can’t help a seed of doubt. it hurts how far apart these two have grown from each other! while i found their relationship in the show un-compelling at the time (going in knowing nothing about anything, i clocked right away that they weren’t endgame so it just felt like the show was wasting my time trying to get me invested in a bland childhood romance) i’m retroactively glad that it was made so much more serious and more loving than it was in the books, bc that’ll make them growing apart later hit even harder than it does in the books (where it’s already hitting me pretty hard!) i was listening to the soundtrack while working the other day and the track that plays when they’re holding hands in shadar logoth made me choke up, that moment specifically is one i’m eagerly looking forward to revisiting after having finished the books. on first watch i was kinda like whatever at that scene but having the context of the books and thinking about how young and innocent they are in that moment and how hard their journeys will be and how far apart they’ll grow, i just know i’m gonna Weep.

siuan straight up thinks cadsuane is a darkfriend LMAO i wish! that would’ve been such a good twist

“eventually they would have to deal with him, somehow. she had grown up with rand, yet she could not allow that to influence her. he was the dragon reborn now, the hope of the world and at the same time maybe the single greatest threat the world faced. maybe? the seanchan could not do as much damage as the dragon reborn. and she was going to use the possibility that he had Compelled sisters. the amyrlin seat really was a different woman from that innkeeper’s daughter.” IT HURTS YOUR HONOR!!! and yet AGAIN rand-egwene parallels, rand being disgusted with himself for using people and thinking that his old self is a stranger to him now are things we’ve seen countless times. people who hate egwene because she clashes with rand are fools and hypocrites who are missing the obvious foiling going on between them. of course they clash! that’s the whole point! that’s what it’s all About! they are foils!

egwene & co all think the forsaken have a huge weapon that destroyed shadar logoth and caused the massive channeling output. rand, please just tell people what you’re doing dear god you’re causing so much unnecessary mass panic! on the other hand, this fear is the impetus for the aes sedai to decide to make an agreement with the asha’man, which to me seems like good progress in theory but on the other hand we know taim and many asha’man are darkfriends, so it may turn out badly. still, aes sedai and asha’man working together is something we do need! in theory!

this also proves the point that so much unnecessary and OOC lack of communication happens solely for plot convenience. like if rand and nynaeve had told elayne and avi what their plan was, as it would be in character for at LEAST nynaeve to do if not also rand (sure he’s trying to protect them, but if he can tell min his plans and BRING HER ALONG ON THEM it makes no sense that he wouldn’t also tell elayne and avi), then they would’ve passed it on to egwene by now and she would know the forsaken don’t have some weapon, so she would’ve been able to placate the aes sedai and no proposal to ally with the asha’man would’ve been made. but since this proposal is likely necessary for future plot, rj had to come up with a motivation of some absurd Forsaken Mass Weapon fear that isn’t even REMOTELY true.

“[too many other places in tel’aran’rhiod] turned out to have eavesdroppers. or bone-deep sadness. she hated seeing what had become of the two rivers since she left.” 💔💔 it’s lame that perrin is the only one who went back to emond’s field bc i feel like he’s the one of the 5 i’d be least emotional about doing so lmao if egwene, rand, nynaeve, or mat went back i’d lose it (tho mat mostly just in the context of show mat with his sisters, book mat i don’t think i’d be too emotional about it)

egwene and avi meet up in tel’aran’rhiod!! oh i’m so happy to see them interact again!! avi comes dressed in fancy wetlander silks (but still with rand’s bracelet) and is then embarrassed and changes them to wise one’s clothes. i can only assume this is because in her heart of hearts she wants to be elayne’s sugar baby.

apparently pregnancy makes elayne unable to use the dream ter’angreal to go to tel’aran’rhiod. rj is making up weird and random pregnancy + channeling rules left right and center. i bet there will end up being some plot point where elayne has a problem that could’ve been solved if she’d been able to talk to somebody in tel’aran’rhiod, hence this pregnancy channeling rule.

“suddenly, [aviendha] grinned. her emerald eyes seemed almost to shine. ‘[elayne] has a wonderful temper sometimes. she threw the ring down and jumped up and down on it.’” fond wife!

“oddly, aviendha took it in stride that elayne was with child, though egwene was convinced the woman loved rand too.” poor egwene, clueless about the avirandlayne throuple. also, i swear on my life egwene was also completely clueless about avi/rand being into each other back when they were all together in tsr-loc?? since when is she aware there’s feelings there?

“egwene would not have thought it of elayne, though! and rand!” why don’t you just fuck gawyn and maybe you’ll calm down

“no one had actually said he was the father, and she could hardly ask something like that” i feel like you could ask that of your very best friend, egwene. i feel like that would be an ok thing to ask. if my BFF gets mysteriously knocked up you bet your ass the first thing out of my mouth is gonna be “who did you fuck??” on a serious note, more fractures in the gang, if elayne apparently isn’t even trusting egwene with the knowledge that they’re rand’s babies :(

fuck i am SO mad nynaeve got separated from elayne before finding out she was Pregnant Out Of Wedlock jkfjgh seeing nynaeve react to that would’ve been SO FUNNY (tho also infuriating, i’m sure - egwene’s judginess here is bad enough! but at least she concedes “the rest of the world was not the same as the two rivers. light, she had come far enough to know that much. she did not have to like it, but she had to live with it.”)

speaking of nynaeve, does she not come to TAR anymore? do the 3 of them not still have standing meetings? because since min is incapable of telling rand about the babies, surely elayne could tell nynaeve in TAR to tell him! Inexplicable Lack Of Communication For Plot Reasons strikes again. or more accurately, for Character Arc Reasons since knowing that he’s gonna be a dad and having that hope for the future and motivation to live past tarmon gai’don would interfere with rand’s downward spiral arc

ah, avi does confirm that they’ve heard from neither nynaeve nor rand. maybe nynaeve is avoiding TAR bc she doesn’t want them to find out about the top secret saidin cleansing mission. which, again, it makes no sense she wouldn’t have told them about. egwene i can see, since she’s so firmly entrenched with the aes sedai as an institution and nynaeve and rand want to go rogue on this mission, but why not have told elayne and avi? god knows elayne is keeping plenty of secrets from the tower already, she would’ve been down to handle 1 more.

upon hearing about the proposed agreement between aes sedai and asha’man, avi’s clothes change into a cadin’sor but “incongruously, the ivory bracley still hung from her wrist although maidens of the spear did not wear jewelry.” no matter how she’s seeing herself, whether as maiden or wise one or wetlander sugar baby, her love for rand is constant ❤️❤️😭😭

“aviendha was in training to be a wise one, and garments or no, she was being a wise one...part of egwene wanted to smile. her friend was changing from the often hotheaded maiden of the spear she had first come to know. another part of her remembered that the wise ones did not always have the same goals as aes sedai...it made her sad that she must think of aviendha as a wise one instead of just a friend.” fractures in the gaaaaang 😭😭😭 also, i feel like a lot of avi’s character development is locked offscreen bc we get so little of her pov. we’ve heard that she’s resumed her training but have seen nothing of it. i want more avi pov!

“if aviendha did not mention it, then the matter was something she and elayne wanted to handle themselves. surely she would have said something if it was anything egwene should know about. or would she? sighing, egwene set her cup on the table...and rubbed her eyes with her fingers. suspicion truly was part of her bones now. and she was unlikely to survive long without it.” EGWENE-RAND PARALLELS and elayne too, we’ve seen this a ton with her since arriving in caemlyn

“‘tell elayne to take care of herself. you take care of her. and her babes.’ ‘i will,’ aviendha said, now in the blue silk.” avi’s clothes changing as she’s mentally returning to her role as elayne’s wife and sugar baby

“‘but you must take care of yourself. i think you use yourself too hard.’...[egwene] was not using herself too hard. only as hard as she needed to.” egwene-rand parallels again! and avi caring for egwene ❤️ if only rand and mat and perrin could still talk to each other and look after each other the way the girls do. i have been saying this in literally every single recap post for the past like 4 books but i never stop being upset about it every time i see the girls staying friends and maintaining their support network and the boys being cut off from every loved one except their one (1) designated girlfriend! rand even has 3 girlfriends but only gets to interact with 1!

there is literally no reason (besides Plot-Mandated Lack Of Communication) why elayne couldn’t have made dream rings for everybody and handed them out! she’s seen mat and rand since learning how to make them and could’ve made them some, and perrin can get to TAR on his own (tho he doesn’t know what it is yet). i want everybody to have dream ring friendship bracelets dammit!

egwene Prophecy Dreams of mat bowling (because bowling exists in randland, nice!) but the pins turn into dead men, and an illuminator is somehow involved. some kind of battle-y thing mat will be involved in that will result in a lot of deaths, i imagine.

another Prophecy Dream of egwene herself being saved by a seanchan woman. i predict this must be either tuon or egeanin since we don’t know any other major seanchan women yet (but of course rj is a huge fan of introducing additional characters at the eleventh hour lmao)

also Prophecy Dream of seanchan attacking the white tower. oh man, they’re gonna get that far inland? no! get outta this continent! the seanchan prove that tweet that was like a single texan is a great addition to any story (egeanin) but more than one is bad news (the rest of the seanchan)

i was convinced mesaana was theodrin but now i think she’s tarna. but whoever she’s revealed to be in the end, there’s a good chance my reaction will be “i don’t even know who that is” because there are 98034985 random aes sedai side characters i can’t keep track of (i had no clue who tarna was until she referenced her trip to salidar, which jogged my memory that she was the representative from elaida whom elayne and nynaeve saw way back when)

dramatically vague discussion between pevara and tarna about a note from toveine gazal that “changes the whole world” but it means nothing to me because i don’t even know who toveine gazal is. edit: a chapter or two later she shows up with logain and jogs my memory that she’s the aes sedai he bonded. she was literally in the prologue of this very book and i already forgot jkfjgh

this is the problem at this stage of the series. too many side characters! too! many! there are like 7 major plotlines going on, and each one has a big cast of side characters who eat up screentime by having their personalities and quibbles with each other gone into in detail (the AMOUNT of TIMES i’ve heard about all the quibbles among egwene’s aes sedai and rand’s aes sedai and nobles and perrin’s camp and the white tower contingent. at least mat’s crew is relatively small and easy to keep track of.) they eat up screetime and yet are completely unmemorable and i can’t keep track of any of them, so it’s just a huge waste of time.

cadsuane pov: “verin knew more about that sort of relations with men than she did - she had never believed in indulging with her own warders, as some greens did, and other men had always been out of the question” verin knows more about. about. oh my god does verin fuck????????? i-

“cadsuane did not think the other sister knew min was bonded to the al’thor boy. she herself only knew because the girl had let too much slip in a careless moment.” MIN STOP BLURTING OUT SENSITIVE INFORMATION CHALLENGE! GOD! and let’s not forget that it would be elayne who would get in by far the most trouble for this since she’s the one who did the weave, so min’s put ELAYNE’S ass on the coals here. next thing you know she’s gonna be telling cadsuane that elayne is pregnant with rand’s babies! goddamn!! early series perrin has definitely passed the “blurting out secret shit all over the place” torch.

cadsuane pov is good because every time she interjects “phaw!” into her narration i lose my shit

but i’m still struggling to see why she needs to exist. she has contributed nothing to the story so far.

we’re introduced to the aes sedai elza (or maybe reintroduced for all i know) who’s extremely loyal to rand. but a chapter later we get her pov and find out she’s a darkfriend. RJ STOP REVEALING DARKFRIENDS 2 FUCKING SECONDS AFTER THEY’RE INTRODUCED CHALLENGE i want to scream!!!!! there is no mystery! no traitor twists! instead i am forced to sit here watching characters be unknowingly surrounded by darkfriends for multiple books (egwene and halima (well forsaken but w/e), elayne and mellar, rand and taim, even elaida and alviarin not that i care about elaida, but it’s the principle of it) which is probably supposed to feel suspenseful but is just frustrating. like, the reveal of natael’s and keille’s true identites at the end of tsr was so surprising and satisfying, more of that, please!

“what was [rand] to do about [min]? about elayne and aviendha?” “was it too late to keep min safe, to keep elayne and aviendha safe?” we are two goddamn paragraphs into rand’s pov and already getting “min!!!! and elayneaviendha blob” i am so fucking sick of this i hate it here!!!

“all he had of them at the moment was a general sense of direction and the knowledge that they were alive. min’s body was pressed tight against his side, though, and the bond made her as vibrant inside his head as she was in the flesh.” I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!! genuinely i think that rand/min makes me angrier than almost anything else in the entire series, aside from the nosedive that is mat’s character development (more on that later). i would rather read an entire book from perrin’s pov than one chapter of rand/min. okay no i take that back. but it’s a near thing.

“without warning, min punched him in the ribs hard enough to make him grunt. ‘you’re getting melancholy, sheepherder.’” because as we all know, the best thing to do if your partner is depressed is to punch them. “[the wound] was not the same side that min had fisted - she was always gentle with that, if not always with the rest of him” i feel like your girlfriend should be gentle with ALL of you, rand. i feel like that would be a good thing for her to do.

“‘you have to do something,’ min muttered, folding her arms beneath her breasts. ‘logain’s aura still speaks of glory, stronger than ever. maybe he still thinks he’s the real dragon reborn. and there’s something...dark...in the images i saw around lord davram. if he turns against you, or dies...’” whoever pointed out that min’s viewings accomplish nothing but making rand’s paranoia worse (butterflydm i believe?), you are SO right. min has no clue what her viewings of logain or bashere ACTUALLY mean, she’s just speculating that they’re bad news for rand, which could be completely off base for all she knows (especially the logain one - maybe he’s gonna get glory by HELPING rand at the last battle, ever think of that?). thankfully, right now rand doesn’t seem pressed about it and just says he has to do what he can, not worry about what he can’t. but i can’t imagine it helps him to have a cassandra stuck to his side foretelling unavoidable doom and gloom 24/7 especially when half the time she’s just making up her own interpretations and misleading rand to believe she knows them for facts!

side note: if anything happens to bashere i’ll kill everyone in randland and then myself!!!!

“the woman carried more knives tucked about her than thom merrilin had. or mat. colors whirled in his head, almost resolving into...what? a man on a wagon seat?” 1) min carries more knives than thom and mat and yet has never ONCE done anything useful with them that i can recall. all she does is flourish them to look hot or stab them into the wall to look threatening (threatening to rand more often than to anyone else). 2) even RAND notes the similarities between min and mat, dammit! mat is the superior mischievous knife-wielding brunette non-channeler love interest for rand! 3) the colors and the seeing what the other person is doing goes both ways! cauthor crumbs! i will note that rand did not have a single thought about perrin in this entire book (all 1 chapter of his pov). just saying.

we see rand seize saidin for the first time since it was cleansed. i feel like this should’ve been a bigger deal. first of all, going into the series i thought the taint on saidin was gonna be a bigger problem than it ended up being, and second of all, i was picturing a really emotional moment of rand feeling clean saidin for the first time, but that just didn’t happen. granted, he still has his other weird saidin sickness going on (triggered by that guy in shadar logoth whose identity i am 99.9999% sure of but hasn’t officially been confirmed to me yet) which kinda cancels out the lack of the taint, but still! in the early books he struggled so much with the taint, it would’ve been satisfying to see him actually........be happy that it’s gone now.

loial is here! and says “you don’t know how good it is to hear you calling [rand] sheepherder, min” which i suppose is a part of the whole “min helps rand remember who he used to be” thing which is absolute baloney because min doesn’t KNOW who he used to be. she met the sheepherder ONCE. where is mat when you need him?? (off in ebou dar having pottery thrown at him by his future wife, that’s where.)

“aviendha assumed that he would marry her, and elayne and min as well, in the aiel fashion. elayne appeared to think so too, strange as that seemed. he thought she did. what did min think? she had never said.” min thinks that she wants you all to herself but doesn’t want to look bad by saying so, that’s what. also, not all relationships have to end in marriage! same thought earlier when egwene was all huffy about rand and elayne loving each other and having babies together while Not Being Married, Oh The Horrors! this attitude is just so obviously a product of the author’s own culture rather than something that makes sense in-universe. the emond’s fielders i can see, since they were raised in a tiny community with traditional values, but i feel like avi and min would be much more open-minded and less set on Marriage As Endgame (and elayne sort of since she knows much more of the world than the emond’s fielders, yet at the same time that was more like textbook knowledge and her actual life experiences had been very sheltered, not to mention that as a person she’s such a hopeless romantic that it makes sense to me for her specific character that she would seek Marriage As Endgame). and yet, even among the aiel with their views on relationships that boggle wetlanders’ minds, they don’t even seem to conceive of a romantic relationship not resulting in marriage. mat was our ONE character who was happy to have romance without marriage, but of course he’s going to change his mind in the end now that tylin and tuon are whipping him into Proper Husband shape. i mean, personally i love marriage, i love when characters get married, i would love to get married myself someday, but i just don’t think it’s realistic that this entire cast of characters with wildly different personalities and cultural backgrounds would all feel the same way lmao

“it isn’t like with you humans, min. you do everything rand asks.” LOIAL JUST ABSOLUTELY MURDERING MIN LMAOOOOO it’s true and he should say it!

“‘it has to end!’ rand thundered, echoed by the crashes in the sky. he had doffed his coat before this interview, and rolled up his shirtsleeves to bare the dragons twined around his forearms in scarlet and gold, the golden-maned heads resting on the backs of his hands. he wanted the man in front of him reminded with every look that he was facing the dragon reborn.” 🥵🥵

“he suspected flinn would fight as hard to hang on to corele as she to him; he was fairly certain there was more between those two than the bond now. well, if an aes sedai could bond a man who channeled, what was to say a pretty woman could not fix on a gimpy old man?” rand says as if that doesn’t happen all the time in this series 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

“davram bashere appeared even shorter than he really was alongside the ogier” short king!

“no matter what you’ve done, it is time to turn your eyes to the black tower before taim splits it worse than the white tower is. if he does, you’ll find the larger part is loyal to him, not you. they know him. most have never even seen you.” logain, that is a very fair point.

on the subject of taim: is he demandred in disguise, or was he originally supposed to be but then rj changed his mind? because i have seen “taimandred” referenced but as of now it doesn’t SEEM like they’re meant to be the same person, and i’ve seen mentions of demandred’s and taim’s original plotlines being changed partway through. if they really are the same, don’t tell me, but if they were originally supposed to be the same but then that was shelved, do tell me so i’m not like “we’re popping the biggest bottles when taim is revealed to be demandred!” and then it never happens jkfjgh

“[logain] knew saidin was clean, but he could not believe rand or any man had actually done the cleansing.” poor rand is busting his ass on the group project and not getting any credit for it. when a bad thing happens everyone assumes he’s behind it even if he didn’t do it, but when a good thing he actually did do happens, no one will believe he’s the one who did it 😔

“did he think the creator had decided to stretch out a merciful hand after three thousand years of suffering? the creator had made the world and then left humankind to make of it what they would, a heaven or the pit of doom by their choosing. the creator had made many worlds, watched each flower or die, and gone on to make endless worlds beyond. a gardener did not weep for each blossom that fell.” damn, rand’s getting philosophical! and depressed!

loial: “even you [rand] can’t face the dark one! i mean, i know the prophecies say you will, but that has to be just a way of speaking.” bless his optimistic heart

rand wants to arrange a truce with the seanchan noooooo babygirl you’ve gotta wipe them out before it’s too late! but then, it already is too late, they’re spreading all through the continent 😔

“it was good to have someone he could talk to about missing faile. [berelain] listened, and smelled of sympathy.” this would’ve been an excellent throuple if only perrin and faile weren’t both so painfully monogamous. but no even then i wouldn’t see any romantic chemistry between perrin and berelain (if she’s being sincere now and really has dropped her attempts to pursue him, then their newfound friendship is so wholesome!) so i think they should be co-spouses worrying about their wife together. that’s the dream!

“wil gave perrin one of those open, innocent looks that fooled so many girls back home” so wil is trying to flirt with perrin, then? bicon wil al’seen! “wil liked too much embroidery on his coat at feastdays” perrin why don’t you get more embroidery on your own feastday coats and maybe you won’t be so bitter

“[medore’s] coat, with its puffy green-striped sleeves, looked odd on her bosomy frame. the daughter of a high lord, she was every inch a noblewoman, and men’s clothing just did not suit her.” perrin quit being a blacksmith to become a member of the fashion police, i guess.

“neald grinned too much since the shaido were found” the two greatest enmities in WOT are rand vs. the dark one and perrin vs. men who smile

perrin is in such faile tunnel vision that upon hearing there are DEAD PEOPLE WALKING in so habor he’s just like “whatever, they’ll have to deal with their own problems, i gotta save faile” jfkgj DUDE

i’ve heard no spoilers whatsoever relating to this, it’s so intriguing and spooky!!! i should’ve paid more attention to the ghost elayne’s maid said she saw earlier in the book

also, another potential positive of the show’s laila addition is that it will make perrin’s faile tunnel vision in this plotline so much more understandable and sympathetic and heartwrenching (tho i still hope the show will give him additional things to care about in his life besides just faile)

oh damn!! Dark Perrin coming out in full force in his desperation to save faile!! oh damn!! and his conversation afterwards with elyas about violence was so well done, and then him sticking his axe in a tree and leaving it there. one of the best scenes in perrin’s entire pov to date.

and now perrin is going to consider allying with the seanchan to save faile. SIGH. no truces with seanchan! no!

“in truth, those silvery leashes and the three sul’dam were the only real lever [mat] had with the aes sedai...not that he really thought about putting those collars on the sisters again. not often, anyway.” ugh mat. what’s happening to you? is this the beginning of him just being fine with marrying the seanchan empress and becoming complicit in the enslavement of women who can channel? this is not MY mat, i can tell you that much. his arc and characterization peaked at him saving elayne from the gholam and since then has taken a steep nosedive.

“‘it seems suroth might have made an alliance with some king,’ juilin reported with a smile over a cup of mulled wine. at least thera seemed to be making him smile more.” unlike perrin, mat IS a fan of men smiling (also, this much-talked-about alliance the seanchan have just made is defs the one with perrin since he’s quite nearby (but i bet he and mat still won’t ever cross paths!!! ugh!!))

“‘most of the settlers seem to have been sent east,’ thom said, peering sadly into his cup. as juilin grew happier day by day, he seemed to grow sadder.” FWHFGHLSFGKLJL THOM/JUILIN RIGHTS literally HOW else am i supposed to take this besides as thom being jealous of juilin and thera

“he needed someone to attract tuon’s ire, someone to make him seem acceptable by comparison” so, exactly what rj did for tuon with tylin lmao

“tuon sat cross-legged on the floor playing snakes and foxes with olver” okay cute! +1 point for tuon

“‘toy doesn’t mean to be rude,’ tuon murmured in that slow honey drawl. ‘he just has never been trained in manners.’” -10 points for tuon. this dynamic truly is just a gross version of matlayne, i’m so mad!

“he hated battle too - a man could get killed dead!” that made me laugh so hard jdkfjgh

“she purely enjoyed the game, laughing exultantly when she pulled him into a trap, laughing in delight when he managed a clever placement to escape. she seemed a different woman once she lost herself in the stones board.” cute again! +1 point for tuon

to think mat could be in caemlyn right now giving presents to elayne who would actually appreciate them 😤 he gives tuon some cloth rosebuds, roses are elayne’s thing! dammit!

characterization update: still makes 0 fucking sense that mat is trying to woo tuon and give her romantic gifts instead of running as fast as he can in the opposite direction

“he had overheard setalle cautioning selucia that he was a rogue with women” still makes 0 fucking sense that mistress anan is having Woman Solidarity with the evil tyrants who invaded her home. especially when she got on nynaeve’s and elayne’s cases for annoying mat back in acos (if i’m remembering that scene correctly which i may not be), why did she take mat’s side against them but not against women who are evil????

i’ve heard something of this before, but here we learn officially about the seanchan marriage custom that calling someone your spouse 3 times in front of witnesses is enough to make you legally married, so mat is now halfway to being legally married to tuon. i hope you guys have been making use of this trope to write accidental marriage fics for other ships for all these years, don’t let me down!

i’m annoyed bc there’s so many memes about mat’s love for lace but it turns out he only acquired that love for lace because he got stockholm syndromed into liking the clothes tylin forced him to wear that he never would have liked on his own. that being said, i’m laughing at the contrast between mat wishing his coat had more embroidery vs. perrin hating on wil al’seen for wearing too much embroidery, just like mat being glad to see a man smile vs. perrin hating when men smile. mat is queer and perrin is homophobic jfkgjh

“[egeanin] was not the one who had to marry the last person on earth she wanted to. a noblewoman, all cool reserve and her nose in the air, when he liked barmaids with ready smiles and willing eyes. the heir to a throne...a woman who spun his head like a top” “oh, burn him, on top of everything else, he was going to marry a woman who could channel?” THIS IS LITERALLY MATLAYNE BUT WORSE!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!! if i hadn’t known spoilers and somebody had given these passages to me earlier in the series as i’ve typed them here with a couple seanchan-specific things removed, i would 100000000% have thought it was talking about matlayne. DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

also, the fact that in all his listing of tuon’s bad traits, mat does not once mention the fact that she enslaves people. okay. mat/tuon is matlayne but worse in many ways but especially because his friendship with elayne was helping mat get over his hatred and fear of and prejudice towards channelers, but being with tuon is just making it worse again to the point that (from what i hear of spoilers) he’s not even going to care that the damane system is still in place at the end of the series and he’s married to the woman responsible for it. not going to care or try to do anything about it.

“‘perhaps i will have lace added to your robes if i make you a cupbearer.’ could she still make him da’covale if she married him? he would have to ask egeanin. light, why did women never make it easy?” mat i promise you that making you worry about whether or not they will ENSLAVE YOU is not a General Woman Thing

mat also may or may not have seen dead people walking around, i’m so interested to find out what this is all about!!

tuon is happy when mat puts his foot down with her (“if you’re going to buy anything, it’s going to be here. i’ve had al the exercise i care for this morning.”) perhaps because of the classic trope which matlayne could’ve done better of sheltered royal being glad when love interest treats them like a normal person instead of bowing and scraping?

“even when a woman needed help, if she did not want it, she made you pay for giving it” remember the wonderful character and relationship development of mat saving elayne from the gholam and her sincerely thanking him for it, thus, you might think, putting an end to this sort of sexist thinking mat used to have? i miss that.

“if he left her behind, then she could not say the [marriage] words, or if she did, he would be too far away for the words to matter. if he left her behind, he would never learn why she smiled those mysterious smiles, or what lay behind the mystery.” cool, so LEAVE HER THE FUCK BEHIND THEN god!!!! so many opportunities for him to get rid of her and he just chooses not to for ooc reasons! these are the kinds of thoughts mat should only be having 5 books into an enemies-to-lovers slowburn, not after a few chapters of tuon giving him (and the reader) absolutely nothing! the fact that this romance could have been so well done and compelling and interesting makes the fact that it’s instead rushed and forced and ooc so much worse.

it’s so frustrating that 2 of my 3 #1 favorite characters (mat and rand, with elayne being the one still going strong) are now stuck with arcs and/or romances i hate for them.

but it is kinda hilarious how this book has elayne and egwene doing their own hot girl shit meanwhile both perrin’s and mat’s plotlines are pretty much entirely revolving around their female love interest. feminism? lmao

a woman (renna) escapes with the intent of exposing mat & co to the seanchan, meaning they would all die and/or be enslaved. the good news is that mat has enough sense to order her to be killed when they catch up to her. the bad news is that he’s all “aaaaaaahhhhh killing a woman!!!!!” “that made three [women he’d killed whether directly or indirectly]. never again, he thought as renna floated out of sight around a bend. if i die for it, never again.” good GOD this is one of the most infuriating aspects of the entire series

tuon: “she was trying to betray you. what you did was justice, and i name it so.” +1 point for tuon. actually +5 points because i'm so annoyed about the Can’t Kill Women thing that tuon not giving a shit is a balm to my soul lmao

EGWENE WAS BETRAYED AND CAPTURED BY THE TOWER AES SEDAI AAAAAAAAAHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!

okay moving back to the start of that chapter. i said before that i changed my mesaana guess from theodrin to tarna, but now i’m going back to theodrin - part of why i changed my guess is that we hadn’t seen theodrin in a long time (the other reasons being that alviarin thought mesaana was a sister inside the tower and theodrin isn’t, and that alviarin said mesaana’s disguise had blue eyes and the next chapter tarna was stated to have blue eyes), but she cropped up again in this chapter just before things went bad for egwene. coincidence? i think not! plus, mesaana is a nerd so if she was in disguise as an aes sedai she would totally be brown like theodrin rather than red like tarna. “that fool girl [theodrin] has less brains than a fisher-bird! you’d think she wants someone to find out she’s keeping an eye on romanda for you.” maybe she DOES 👀👀

this is exactly what i mean when i say i want rj to hold back information about secret identities, traitors, darkfriends, etc. more often. i’m having so much fun with this mystery! nobody better spoil me!

“larine [ayellin, a new novice] was almost the same age as [egwene], and a close friend growing up. they had spent hours together, gossiping and practicing putting their hair in braids for when the women’s circle said they were old enough.” i think this is the first time we’ve heard about a specific childhood friend of egwene’s, seeing as she doesn’t seem to have been actual friends with rand, mat, and perrin like she was in the show.

another piece of evidence for our “what causes agelessness” debate: egwene talks about how the kin live longer and “show age like anyone else, if more slowly.” romanda replies “if they channel, they would achieve the look. if they age, they cannot be channeling very often if at all. and neither way could they live five or six hundred years!” and egwene says “there is only one real difference betwen aes sedai and the kin. they left the white tower before they could swear on the oath rod.” which i’m guessing is as good a confirmation as we’ll get that it is indeed the oath rod that causes the aes sedai ageless look.

a random aes sedai is said not to be “interested in men that way” another explicit confirmation of queer people existing in wotworld! and a full sister who is still a lesbian and wasn’t just experimenting as a novice, and isn’t in the man-hating red ajah (she’s blue)

okay so egwene argues with some aes sedai (mainly romanda) about whether or not aes sedai should unswear the oaths and retire, and with others (lelaine and maigan) about whether or not to more or less use compulsion on the asha’man to leash them to the tower (egwene says HELL NO and is horrified and disgusted by the thought, but lelaine and maigan think they should). this + theodrin possibly being mesaana, there are lots of potential suspects for who would’ve wanted egwene captured by elaida’s contingent. a good mystery!!!

“bode’s future would be brilliant. her potential almost equaled egwene’s.” love that for her!! and meanwhile her brother has a future of being complicit in the enslavement of women like her :) i wonder if bode and mat will ever see each other again by the end of the series.

egwene-bela reunion!!! 😭😭 “you carried me away from the two rivers. can you run as fast now?” 😭😭😭😭😭

bode was with egwene when egwene got captured, did bode get captured too???? (rhetorical question) i hope not, but i also hope so because i would love to see more of her and see her become a bigger character.

bashere says the seanchan want rand to meet the daughter of the nine moons, and good thing i know this is a trap and won’t actually be tuon because otherwise it would be SO MEAN to tease me with this possibility of a cauthor reunion in the next book. i wish!!!!

and the conclusion is an emo as fuck poem that rand may or may not have written jkfgh i’m yelling!! love that for him! can’t believe he found time to write a poem.

thus i have made it through what i believe is widely considered the worst book of the series lmao it wasn’t as bad as i’d expected. i definitely think that reading the books all at once rather than as they’re coming out, with years between books, helps the pacing feel not as bad. the faile kidnapping plotline, for example, while my least favorite of the current plotlines, doesn’t feel as dragged out and meandering as everyone said - it’s really only like 5 chapters per book, which is not that much wasted screentime. but overall, definitely not much happened in this book. like 2/3 of it was devoted to showing people reacting to a channeling event that happened in the last book, which is just ridiculous fjgkh it’s going to be hilarious when the show does all that in 1 episode or less

thoughts on the plotlines: elayne’s is by far my fav of the current plotlines, my eyes glaze over a bit with all the minor aes sedai and quibbles between them in egwene’s but i’m enjoying hers overall (and am very excited to continue it because of that cliffhanger), perrin’s pov has always been boring to me and is not significantly more boring nowadays, rand’s and mat’s have sharply declined in enjoyment because i hate their girlfriends and mat’s character direction. but i know matlayne and cauthor reunions are coming eventually, so there is light at the end of the tunnel!

#the fact that i could do this entire book in only 2 recap posts shows how little is going on in it lmao #granted this one is quite a long post #wot #wot book spoilers

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