#wanted an excuse to do polls lol

[someone-online]

Me speaking to like 3 people and a paperclip: hello, James Riley Author fandom

[cloudysfluffs]

i got an anon requesting a Certain Character as a lee earlier and i would like to draw it!! both bc i would like to start doing requests again and bc it sounds fun. BUT!!!! PROBLEM!!! i have.......NO idea who the ler should be. mostly bc i see this guy as a ler MOST of the time. he has One exception where he might be lee in my brain, BUT......his ler is always a particular oc me/my boyfriend has. the anon specified that the ler didnt matter but idk if they mean it can be ANY ler or any CANON ler

SO QUESTION FOR MY AUDIENCE!!!!! would you care if you asked for tkle art of a certain lee, but with no specified ler, and the artist used their oc to fill the role?

[mischiefwife]

Hey, think twice before supporting the BG3 Stardew mod.

Saw this nice looking Stardew Valley mod with BG3 characters, pretty quickly knew something was off when you see Halsin/Astarion/Rolan front and center with no mention of Wyll at all.

Then we get this whopper of a cry post, maybe suggesting they can't be anti-black because they're not white? They can't show misogyny cause they're women? They can't be blamed at all because they're just polling their PATREON votes? Fucking do better. Can't even hide behind the usual excuse that it's a free fanwork, it's not.

Fandom's got a racism and misogyny problem. Step up and draw the line with these creators crying victim when asked 'where's Wyll?' (And yes I checked, the replies are 90% positive and 10% where's Wyll, where's the women) when you've already fully developed your random minor npc first. Team members being made uncomfortable translates to being called out for contributing to a lil' racism.

The misogyny hydra and the racism in fandom runs deep i know, but for the love of fuck can we push back against it?

Or you can side with the mod's supporters (this is one of the devs actually lol). Who post things like this.

And the creators don't say a fucking thing at all about it, they just keep playing victim. It would be so easy to approach this system with a SMIDGEN of respect, just acknowledging the racism at all. Seriously BG3 fandom. Demand better.

I don't give a shit if they're the most popular, there's also a REASON why Wyll is not. But if you want to just eat this shit up and contribute making your fandom shitty and uninviting, by all means.

[the-original-skipps]

|| S𝐮𝐨 H𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 G𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧. || Depraved!Suo Hayato x CluelessFem!Reader || Wind Breaker ||

▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:13

PLAY!

due to the "yes" winning the poll I have decided to post however, if you said "no" you may scroll past and completely ignore this : i've never written dark content before so this is a first trying to branch out into new things also depraved is a fancy word for yandere perv lol also hes aged up here and he and reader are the same age

CW: 18+ content, dark content, yandereness, sexual content, non-consensual, use of drugs.

18+ only minors do not interact

❥ Suo Hayato is a gentleman that is what his friends and the people around him would and will say. He’s a loyal friend and is always ready to lend a hand when you’re in trouble. Is what he wants you to believe but behind that kind smile lies thoughts and intentions you would have never thought a man like him to have.

❥ You’re such a naive little thing is the thought that often crosses Suo’s mind. Like unsuspecting prey, you have no idea what kind of thoughts a predator like him has for you. Who so easily believes anything he says as you look at him with those innocent doe eyes. You shouldn’t look at him like that, the urge to ruin you only gets stronger.

❥ You would think that Suo barely uses his phone but in fact you just never catch him when he does. His phone's gallery is filled with pictures of you, the pictures you posted online to the unexpecting shots he's taken of you. These pictures help him fuel the daydreams he has of you, especially late at night.

❥ You don't realize but Suo likes to take his eyes all over your body. From your tight blouse where the outline of your bra is present or how your skirt peaks a little to show your supple ass has him running wild with impure thoughts. Are you testing his restraint with how you choose to dress or are you just asking him to do as he pleases with you?

❥ Suo always likes to stand behind you not only does he get a good view, he also gets to take in your scent. He’ll casually compliment on how good you smell, asking for the perfume brand that maybe his mother would like. It’s an innocent question, of course you'd happily answer. However, his true intentions are to buy the exact same shampoo or perfume as you.

❥ Cause he’ll spray that perfume on his pillow and his clothes. It's as if you were just with him. His pillow as he hugs it tight, imagining that it’s you that he hugs you from behind- his hips rutting, his hard erection pressed against your ass. As he licks your ear and whispers, teasing you on how needy you are. Red faced, as you whimper and plead with him to put it in.

“Tell me, how badly you want me.”

“P-Please, Hayato…!”

❥ Just the thought of you whimpering his name with desperation almost has him cumming. As he strokes his cock with the exact same underwear he managed to steal when he was at your place under the guise of bringing some new tea over for you to taste. It was so easy to excuse himself to the bathroom to look into your laundry basket, not to look for the freshly washed ones but the ones you just used.

❥ As mentioned above, Suo likes to come over to your place with some excuse of having new tea or dessert for you to try. It's adorable how you can't deny him. So he takes the opportunity to slip in something that has you yawning, difficult to keep your eyes open. Suo the sweet talker that he is will coax you to take a short nap on the coach.

❥ Once he knows you’re deep asleep, he'll straddle you-but hovering to not put his weight on you. He will get real close to lovingly admiring you as he traces his hand around your vulnerable body. Unbuttoning your shirt, as he presses soft kisses on your neck and chest. Before, the strong urge to mark you takes over. He'll lick the spot he chooses, before pressing his lips-to suck on your skin until a red blotch remains. Suo will do this until your whole neck and chest are covered in his marks. Once you'll wake up you'll find your head on his lap, as he looks at you innocently-stroking your hair like nothing happened.

❥ You're confused, as you find yourself covered in this red - some borderline purple bruises around your neck and chest area, even touching them seems to hurt. Worried you consult your close friend Suo on what to do. Maybe he will offer a solution to your problem. Suo had to bite back a grin as you asked him about these strange wounds that appeared out of nowhere. As a reliable friend that he is of course he has some medication at home that might help. So, he invites you to come over.

❥ Now you sit in front of him shirt unbuttoned as he hungrily observes admires these strange wounds. His strong gaze has you flushing in embarrassment-flinching every time the cold ointment on his fingers traces a mark. Every squeak and whimper awakes a certain darkness in him, that wants to pin you down as you writhe helplessly against him. How effortless would it be for him to just take you now but he doesn't.

❥As he waves goodbye to you from his front door he thinks to himself that you don't have to leave, you're more than welcome to stay here. His parents are barely home anyway, they won’t mind. Suo promises he'll take good care of you but that is all in due time. Maybe one day but right now he's enjoying the hunt.

❥ It's hard to imagine him like this isn’t it? They're nothing more than simple actions of a friend with no hidden intentions. Because Suo Hayato is a gentleman and is your dearest friend, or so that’s what he wants you to believe. 

[trashywritestrash]

Short and Sweet

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

Word Count: 853

Warnings: Best friend’s brother— is that a warning? This is just a short lil thing for Valentine’s Day

A/N: The poem and response in this came from Thomas Richardson’s “Gentleman’s Valentine Writer” which wasn’t actually published until 1828 but I needed ideas, okay? Also, I wrote this when Bridgerton was still the lead in the poll lol

Living beside the Bridgerton household had many advantages. Being close in age to Daphne gave you the perfect excuse to spend time with her. However, spending time with Daphne meant also spending time with the rest of her family, which allowed you to form a close bond with them all. One Bridgerton in particular being Benedict.

Benedict was a few years older than you, but within a perfectly reasonable range that made it acceptable for you to fancy him. How could you not? He was sweet and sensitive, but he had a playful side that brought joy any time you were fortunate enough to witness it. Although, you never dared to dream that Benedict might return your affections. You were the best friend of his younger sister, surely he would not think of you in that way.

Initially, you had been excited to be presented before the queen and sent out into society. But while Daphne had been deemed the season's incomparable, you had fallen into her shadow. You were happy to see your friend receive many visitors and gifts, but some days it would hurt to see a line of men outside her door while you waited in an empty sitting room.

Waking on Valentine's Day brought nothing but sorrow. It was only one month into the social season and you already felt that you were destined to become an old spinster. With no prospective husbands in sight, you would likely have to face a second season. You did not expect that you would receive any callers that day, yet you waited in your sitting room in a fine dress, as you did every other day. Your mother sat in a chair at the far end of the room, leisurely reading until something would happen.

Early into the day, your butler entered the room with a calling card in hand, "A Mister Bridgerton is here to call upon Miss Y/L/N."

"Send him in," You replied, feeling your chest constrict. It was possible that one of Daphne's brothers had come to pass along a message for her, but a gentleman visiting while you were accepting callers still brought you a shred of hope.

Moments later, you saw Benedict step through the doorway, holding something behind his back. He smiled, "I see I have gotten here before the rest."

You returned his smile, nervous, yet calmed by his presence. "I think you will find that the gentlemen are coming to your door today, not mine."

"Then they are fools and I am lucky to have you all to myself."

"What can I do for you, Benedict? I find it hard to believe you would be here as a suitor." You spoke the words in jest, but felt your throat tighten as you said them all the same.

Benedict's smile fell into confusion, "What is so hard to believe about that?"

Taken aback by the genuine confusion in his tone, you clarified, "I only mean to say that I would not have expected it."

"If that is the case, I hope that you find this to be a good surprise," For just a moment, you heard a bit of nerves in his voice as he tried to present a confident image. "Unfortunately, I cannot stay long. But I wanted to bring you these and to officially declare my affection."

Finally, Benedict moved the hand behind his back to reveal a beautiful bouquet of morning glory and myrtle. You smiled wide at the sight, "Thank you, Benedict. They're lovely."

Shortly after, Benedict had to take his leave, although he promised to come back the following day. Once he had left, you reached for a book on the language of flowers. You found that morning glories are used to represent affection, meanwhile myrtle is used to represent love and marriage. Learning that brought a blush to your cheeks, finding the meaning to be a little bold, but not unpleasant.

It was then that you noticed a small folded piece of parchment beside the flowers. When you unfolded the paper, you could see the painted design done in watercolors. A man and a woman stood beneath a tree, which was situated between a lovely cottage and a church. The image was small, but you could tell that the couple was you and Benedict. On the other side of the parchment was a simple note.

I boast not eloquence, dear Miss, Nor do I write exceedingly fine; Therefore, I bluntly ask you this-- Pray, will you be my Valentine?

As you looked down at the note, you felt your heart swell. You held it close to your chest, feeling as if you could burst from happiness at any moment. Your mother then looked up from her book. "What is that, dear?"

"It is nothing!" You responded quickly. Luckily, your mother did not push the issue further.

That night, you folded the note once more and placed it in the drawer of the nightstand beside your bed. As you attempted to fall asleep, all you could think of was that you could not wait to see Benedict again.

----------

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[amourtoken]

ik this was on the poll but I genuinely couldn't help myself I had to write shit down or my head would explode

here's some sugar daddy Noah thoughts lol

*NSFW below the cut, MDNI*

cw: age difference, dirty talk, raw sex (pls do not), sex toys, light exhibitionism, Noah is fucking gross and that's ok, size kink, oral, dacryphylia, dom/sub, maybe dubcon if you squint but not rlly, daddy kink

♡ god be with me on this one lmao

♡ how did you end up in this situation? It's a little clichè but you were in the same club and he couldn't keep his fuckin eyes off of you. Normally you don't go to these upscale places but tonight it was in your favor, getting invited to Noah's private section gave you a chance to get away from the college friends you'd come with and actually enjoy yourself.

♡ keeping his eyes off you was one thing but his hands? Impossible.

♡ he'd instantly rested his large hand on your thigh the second you'd taken a seat next to him. Bold, but you didn't seem to mind it. He was sharing the booth with his band mates, they all seemed at least 10 years older than you but you didn't mind. you tried to conversate with them equally but the hand sliding up your thigh was making it difficult.

♡ like I said he's gross. No shame. If he wants something he's gonna get it one way or another but he at least tries to be respectful off the jump. Just when his fingers dipped under the hem of your short black dress he leaned against you to whisper something only you could hear.

"You're more than welcome to tell me no, but wanna come with me back to the hotel?"

♡ you've known the man for an hour tops, but he made you dizzy and created a swarm of butterflies in your belly so why say no? You're a few drinks in anyway, maybe prior you would've thought this was a terrible idea but the way his fingers feel caressing your thigh and how fuckin good he looks with those sleeves rolled up and all his tattoos on display? Maybe you can't resist either.

♡ this was just the first time you met, and it led you down a lovely path with him.

♡ at first it was just fucking. Meeting up whenever he was around or sending videos back and forth while he was out on tour. It escalated to him flying you out on occasion to watch him play, he'd book you the nicest hotel rooms and order you any food you needed while you were there. He started sending you flowers at home, and little gifts. His definition of a little gift is a $400 anklet with his initial on it though.

♡ after a few months he was regularly spoiling you with absolutely anything he had an excuse to. You so much as laid eyes on something for too long and he'd get it for you. He'd fly you out of the country whenever you had a break from classes and you'd enter your hotel room to see an exorbitantly expensive lingerie set next to a note from him.

"Thought you'd look perfect in this. Couldn't resist <3"

♡ his camera roll was 99% pictures of you in said expensive outfits. Bouncing between mirror selfies together where he'd have his tattooed hand wrapped around your throat from behind or on one occasion a just barely censored photo of you bent over in front of him mid backshots with his hand pressed on your back so it arches just right. (This was his lockscreen for ages, he is a freak.)

♡ his band mates have gotten used to seeing you around (and hearing you two through the walls of the shared hotel rooms), and you've grown quite fond of them as well. They see how happy you make him and can't rlly be upset even though they think he's a little over the top with how he treats you.

♡ aside from all the less than spicy details, this man *fucks*

♡ this man fucks like he absolutely hates your guts and it's *wonderful*

♡ why was his first big gift to you an anklet with his initial? So he could see it dangling over his shoulder when he had you folded in a mating press under him. He's got the filthiest mouth on him while he fucks too.

"so fuckin' pretty under me- like you were made for my dick"

"Louder. Want everyone to know who's fuckin' you so good"

"Wanna thank me for all these gifts? You can do it on your knees, baby."

"Such a dumb little slut for this cock, is it really that good? Say it."

"Awe, can't take anymore? That's too bad, you're going to."

♡ almost came untouched the first time you called him daddy. You kinda did it jokingly but after seeing his reaction you couldn't help but continue. He loves hearing it and it puts him in such a dominant headspace, it's like flipping a switch on him. Perfectly enough, when he's in that role, you fit right into a comfy subspace.

♡ he really likes instances where you're completely naked and he's not. Thinks it adds to the dynamic since you're so exposed. He lovesss running his big tattooed hands all over your body and watching you squirm and beg for some friction. He'll deny it till you're nearly in tears before giving in.

"want me to play with that pretty pussy, baby? Use your words, you know how to ask for it."

"So needy...maybe I should make you ride my thigh till you cum, see how bad you want it."

♡ buys you pretty mini skirts so he can pull you on his lap anywhere and gring against your bare ass. He'll lean his head on your shoulder and whisper filth about how you make him feel and how dirty you are for letting him dress you up like a sex doll without complaint. That's basically what you are, a little doll for him.

♡ speaking of said mini skirts, he loves when you're sat on his lap, back to his chest and head leaned back on his shoulder while he hikes your short skirt up to play with you. Makes it 100x worse better by occasionally setting his phone up to record, angled perfectly to catch the way his large fingers split your pussy open and tease your clit just right. Can't help himself but to fuck you right there, the way you squeezed around his fingers made his cock painfully hard. He caught that on video too.

"Keep making those pretty sounds, baby girl. You like when I stretch this little pussy out?"

"Say please, daddy and I'll let you have my cock."

"gonna watch this with me later? Wanna see how pretty you look split on daddy's dick?"

♡ he's bought you countless pretty sex toys and is a big fan of remote vibrators so he can play with you even when he doesn't have the chance to be there in person. Loves to FaceTime you and watch you unravel for him while he controls it. He's used it a few times in person as well, making you cum and turning it up to its highest setting, making your legs give out and you'd grab his arm for support. He'd coo about how good you're doing for him but also tease you about how sensitive you are, fat tears brimming in your eyes as you begged him to turn it down cause you couldn't handle more.

"Poor thing, so cute when you cry for me"

"You can give me another one, baby. Promise I'll fill that pussy up so fuckin' good after"

[gretavanbrie]

Landslide (J.T.K.)

Summary: You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember, does he feel the same?

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

Warnings: no smut for this part just pure ANGST ;), established friendship, swearing, unrequited love, light portrayal of anger, jake & y/n are a little dramatic but aren’t we all?? mentions of childhood, alcohol consumption… if I missed anything lmk, I’ll fix it no issue!!

A/N: I’m actually really excited for this one!! This is based on the winning answer of this poll I did, if you guys are looking for a bit more context on what this is about. I may have hurt my own feelings a couple times amidst writing this, I had my Jake lane friend read it and she was not too happy with me so hopefully this will strike a nerve for you guys as well!! If not that’s cool too! My writing is pretty sporadic so I’m gonna try and put out as much content as I can if you guys end up liking this story. I’m a waitress so my hours are long and unpredictable I do apologize in advance lol. I’m debating on if I should leave this as is, or make two long parts, or even start a mini series…not too sure yet but lmk what you think!!! Also this is vaguely proof read. If there are any mistakes, bare with me.

Part 2 | Part 3

Here you were, standing in front of the mirror, clammy hands nervously smoothing down the fabric of the dress you adorned. You made it a point to pull out all of the stops today, you’d washed and beautifully dried your hair. You gave one last look at your makeup before running your hands through your hair and heading to grab your bag. You let out a shaky breath picking up your phone.

The boys were back from tour and some mutual friends were having a little gathering as a welcome back. Any other time you wouldn’t have been so uneasy but the conversation you had with Josh had been replaying in your head the entire time they’ve been gone.

“Are you ever going to tell him?” You immediately recognize that voice.

Everyone was outside as the small farewell party for the commence of the tour had somehow migrated towards the backyard of Josh’s lovely home. You clear your throat in an attempt to rid the uneasiness in your voice.

“Excuse me?” You turn setting down the bottle of wine you were going to pour for yourself. He stood at the entryway of the kitchen as you feigned a confused expression to which he saw right through.

“Y/n..we may not hang out as much as you and my brother do but I still know you just as well. If not more, it seems” you just stared at him for a moment trying to find a good way out of this before quickly turning around and finished pouring yourself a glass. With your back still turned you speak up knowing there’s no use in hiding it anymore, if there was one person you could trust with this information it would be him.

“It’s just not a conversation to be had, he’s my best friend nothing more. It’s just a silly crush it’ll go away” you waved your hand to seemingly brush it off as you turned to face him. Not the whole truth, but not necessarily a lie? God you didn’t even believe yourself, how could you expect him to. You brought the glass to your lips letting the smooth red ease your nerves.

“A silly crush that’s lasted since senior year?” The minute those words left his mouth your eyes widened in shock. Quickly swallowing to refrain from spitting your drink all over his nice white shirt.

“What do you mean by that?” you stare inquisitively not knowing he was privy to just how deep this ‘silly crush’ had run.

“Oh c’mon don’t play coy. Like I said, I know you. We were friends first..lest you forget.” You giggled recalling the vague memory of 2nd grade recess, he stepped further into the room before continuing on.

“You keep too much to yourself, you’ve gotta stop sacrificing your own needs for the sake of what you think the other person wants. Disregard me as his brother for the time being, right now I’m coming to you as a friend. I’m not here to pressure you into telling him anything, that is your own decision to make. I just want you to ask yourself if this is what you really want. I mean come on your twenty-seven now y/n. You think I haven’t noticed that you’ve refused to see anyone since summer going into senior year?’

“That’s not true” you cut him off, defending yourself.

“I wasn’t completely celibate I was seeing that one guy Liam for some time… a-and Henry my sophomore year of college. I’m just not looking for anything.” Truth was, you were at one point. You convinced yourself getting under someone was the only way to get over another. Until you realized neither of them were Jake and that’s why you could never see them as a part of the long haul.

“And did you ever make it official with them? Or better yet, did they last any longer than 8 months?’ He challenged. You looked down at your feet defeated knowing there’s no use in denying any more. You know he knows. There was a beat of silence before you spoke up once more.

“I’d rather him be my friend than nothing at all, Josh.” you said quietly looking up at him as he embraced you in a hug running his hands through your hair.

You hear him sigh before he quietly speaks into your hair.

“I know.”

———————————————————————————

You shut your eyes and shook your head as if to rid the memory. You had wracked your brain enough about it. Josh was right and you knew it, it’s been nearly 10 years but you hadn’t always had feelings for Jake. For a while actually you would nearly gag at the mere thought. Albeit there wasn’t much room for romance during the pre-pubescent “cootie” stage of your life.

Your parents and the Kiszka’s became rather close throughout the years. You and the Kiszka clan wreaked borderline havoc growing up. With all the trouble you got into it was only a matter of time your parents would cross paths. Once they realized the five of you were inseparable they decided there was no use in staying strangers. Danny and his family soon came into the picture and you considered yourselves a bond to never be broken from that point on.

Although Jake had deemed you guy’s best friends summer going into 5th grade year, you were closest to Ronnie in high school. You were girls together. During the time of first periods and finding out boys can be attractive you migrated towards each other and found solace together within the testosterone-tainted group you had formed. You’d always struggled making friends, you didn’t normally speak unless spoken to. You weren’t necessarily shy, you just always felt like you didn’t really fit in with all the rest.

Once you crossed paths with Josh 2nd grade, he left you no choice but to be his friend. He was overly inviting and basically dragged you to join him on whatever crazy idea him and his twin had gotten into next. You chose to not complain given he was actually nice to you and took time in making sure to include you.

You had remained school friends for the years following, hangouts limited to recess and lunchtime until around the summer before 5th grade when you moved a few houses down from their own. You saw them playing outside from your bedroom window one day and begged your mom to run down there and greet your friends.

You and your ponytail came flying out of the house screaming “Josh! Jake! It’s me!!! From Ms. Crowley’s Class!!! I live by you now!!!”

“Y/n!! Is it really you!! We can play at home now!!” Josh exclaimed, his twins' smile growing ten fold.

“You have to meet my brother and sister, we can all play together now!” Jake said, calling out for Ronnie and Sam. You were quickly introduced to the two and although they were a couple years younger, you were kids, and found joy in whatever silly games you had come up with together nonetheless.

As you sat up against the tree cooling off from the intense game of freeze tag you all had just played, you saw Jake walk up and sit beside you.

“I can’t believe you moved close to my house, loser. Today was fun.” the boy said, ruffling your hair.

‘Hey! Quit! I’m not a loser.” you laughed pushing his arm away.

“Yea-huhh, that’s why you couldn’t catch me during tag.” he mocked, you squint your eyes at him playfully before pushing him away from you.

“That’s why you have cooties!” You retaliated feeling defensive now.

“See! Sore loooserrr” Jake sing-songed.

‘You’re being a meanie now Jakey, it’s just a game” you pouted looking to your feet. You probably were just being sensitive but you hadn’t known better. His expression softened realizing his words might’ve stricken a nerve.

“Oh come on, you know I’m kidding, you’re my new best friend. Especially now that we live so close” he said, lips tugging into a shy smile as he softly elbowed at your side. You whipped your head up to look at him

“You think I’m your best friend? You promise?” You said as hopeful eyes met his own. No one had ever made it a point to deem you as such. A friend is one thing, but a best friend was something far more special in your mind.

“Pinky promise.” he assured, hooking your smallest of fingers with his own.

————————————————————————————

The sentiment was sweet and you were thankful you had friends like them growing up, it made life a little easier knowing you had a constant. Easier until teenage hormones came into the picture and Jake was no longer your boy-ish ‘best friend’ and had started growing handsomely into his features. His face became more chiseled, his chest a bit more filled out, voice dropping a couple octaves lower and not to mention he grew taller. It all happened too fast for your awkward teenage self to process. One day he was regular old Jake and the next he was…hot.

So, you did what you thought was best. Denied any and all attraction and gaslighted yourself into thinking it would go away. It was Jacob for fucks sake, your life-long friend who you considered a brother to you. You and Ronnie had gotten suspiciously closer that year, you brushed it off as ‘needed girl time’ but as years passed you realized you were just trying to distract yourself from Jake in hopes that if you saw him less, the attraction would eventually metastasize.

Boy were you wrong because Jake was adamant on including you in every hangout as he began to gain popularity. You had convinced yourself things would drift off throughout high school, thinking the boys would deem themselves ‘too cool’ to hang with you now and the silly pinky promise he made would be brushed off as immature to him. But it wasn’t, he instead kept his promise. His friends soon becoming your own, girlfriends never lasting long because ‘you and Ronnie are more important to me than any other girl’ he says. Finding yourself at their house more often than you had expected for this new chapter of your life and before you knew it, you had grown closer than ever, and your growing crush more suppressed than ever.

You were shaken out of your thoughts as your phone began buzzing. An incoming call from none other than Veronica herself. You quickly picked it up, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Girl where are you?! You promised you’d be here by the time I got here” you heard her whine on the other end. “Everyone is already mingling, the boys are late yet again and I have no one!” You laughed into the line knowing she was just exaggerating.

“Oh come on Ron, it can’t be that bad you know Mike a-and Dave’s girlfriend.” You tried reasoning, knowing you’d be just as anxious if your friends hadn’t showed up just yet.

“I’m sure they’re already there, talk to them for a little bit okay? I’m sorry, I’m leaving now I just got caught up finding what to wear” you continued, not necessarily a lie although you didn’t want her to know the real reason you were stalling was because today could possibly change the entire trajectory of your life. Dramatic to say the least, but true.

“It’s okay y/n, I was giving you shit. I’ll be fine… wait a minute. Did you say you were looking for something to wear?? You’ve never cared about that stuff, who are you trying to look good forrrrrr?” she teased.

“‘Oh hush Ronnie, it's just been a while since I’ve gone out and felt hot. Just needed a boost of confidence today is all, no secret fella or anything” you giggled.

“Yet…” she laughed.

“Yea yea whatever, let me go so I can head over” you said grabbing your keys and slipping on your shoes.

“Okay okay, byeeee love you!” She said before quickly hanging up.

“Love you too” you said to no one in particular, smiling to yourself at your dear friend's abruptness.

There was no reason for you to be so nervous, it’s just the boys and Ronnie. It was Jake that had you so uneasy. You had replayed yours and Josh’s conversation enough times to knock some sense into yourself. You weren’t going to lay it on him full force but tonight was your chance to let your guard down and not shy away from him. Maybe even flirt, as best you could anyway, if things were smooth sailing. He’s been single for some time this was your chance to maybe plant a couple seeds. You wanted to see if there was even the slight off-chance he may just like you back and you’d be able to look back at how foolish keeping it from him was.

It was easier said than done as you started second guessing your entire look. You felt as though everyone would think you were trying too hard but that wasn’t the case, you’d gone out in more extravagant looks than the white linen sundress you settled on. It was flowy and stunning, casual but beautiful enough to make you feel at your best. Your hair cascaded beautifully down your back from your blowout, you put on your expensive perfume. You felt great, the only significant difference was that you wore a little extra makeup and you took the time to do your nails. You knew it was purely the anxiety talking. Plus, no one even knows how you feel about him other than Josh.

In attempts to calm yourself, your hand reaches for your phone as you stop at a light. Opening your Spotify you hit shuffle on your playlist. You sighed and smiled as the familiar guitar from Cannock Chase by Labi Siffre started playing. You and Jake loved this song, singing it on too many drunken nights to count. It truly was a beautiful song. You decided to just enjoy yourself and let the evening take its course rather than stressing out about it.

————————————————————————————

You pull into the long driveway of your friend Spencer’s house seeing all the cars parked out front. You find a good spot and walk up to the door seeing a few others talking by the front steps, you recognize his fiancé and smile politely walking towards her.

“My god, y/n is that you? You look absolutely stunning.” She smiled as she wrapped her arms around you before pulling away and linking arms, guiding you towards the entrance of her and Spencer’s shared home.

“Mmm and you always smell amazing, have you been inside yet? We missed you like crazy, Ronnie’s been inside waiting. I think the boys are here already though-“

“Thank you Claire, I appreciate it. I’ll be sure to find them” you cut her off smiling gently as you gave her hand one last squeeze before stepping inside. Claire is a lovely woman but has a bad habit of rambling, you find it endearing but others seem to tire of her rather quickly.

Upon crossing the threshold into their home you’re immediately greeted by the short brunette.

“Finally! The boys are here, come on, we've been wondering where you were.” You nervously laughed as Ronnie grabbed your hand and dragged you towards the backyard.

You weave through the small bunch of people gathered in the living room and kitchen before you walk through to the sliding door, stepping onto the patio. Josh spots you and immediately heads over to give you the warmest of hugs.

“I knew it was you, I’d recognize that perfume anywhere. Glad you could make it little one” you smiled in his embrace at his terms of endearment, your cheeks warmed at the sentiment.

“Thank you Joshy, I’m so happy to finally see you. It’s been far too long.” you smiled up at him before you were quickly swept away.

You startled as you felt strong arms wrap around your waist from behind lifting you up and twirling you. You laughed recognizing the familiar cologne, you see his chestnut brown locks as he sets you down.

“And who might this lovely lady be?” Jake jokes, stepping back to get a good look at you.

“What an extravagant greeting, I see you’ve been gone long enough to forget about a girl like me” you joked back, hand coming up to rest on our chest as you feigned a look of hurt. Your favorite bit with him now taking it’s course.

“Ahhh, nonsense. A girl like you? Unforgettable'' he assured in his familiar cockney accent flashing you that infamous smirk you’ve grown to love. You looked down bashfully as you blushed yet again. You’ve almost grown sick of how quickly he can turn you into mush, you know he means nothing by it. You can’t help but wish maybe he did.

“Oh come on, you’re just saying that.” You laughed as you walked over to pour yourself some wine. Opting for a white this time given your attire. God forbid your nerves get the better of you and you spill it all over yourself.

You can’t help but notice you and Jake had accidentally coordinated outfits. He bore a cream colored blazer, akin to his cream colored pants. The muted brown button up he had on underneath was unsurprisingly left open with a couple of his pendants decorating his chest. He looked handsome, to say the least.

“Hmm you don’t sound so excited to see your lifelong friend, I’ve been gone for months and this is the treatment I receive?” He exaggerates, giggles escaping between words not able to take himself seriously.

“I thought we were besties y/n” he laughs, feigning a hurt expression knowing that would make you crack.

You can’t help but let a giggle escape your lips, the joke now running dry.

“Alright, alright. I guessss I missed you '' you say, wrapping both your arms around his waist. He gives the quickest peck to the top of your head.

“It’s good to see you sunshine, been too long” he gives you one last squeeze, you smiled at the old nickname he called you as you pulled away.

“Did you forget about us?!” You hear Danny exclaim. You whipped your head towards the back door sliding closed as the self-proclaimed “better half” of the band stepped outside.

“How could I? With the million random voice notes I’m sent a day…not a chance” You tease walking up to hug Sam.

“Glad I could aid, you look fantastic y/n. Definitely better than when we left” Sam teased tapping his chin as if in deep thought.

“Hey! Not cool man.” you jokingly retort as Danny comes up to give you a side hug.

“Yeah your hair’s longer or something or..you put on blush? Fuck, I tried. I don’t know what girls do but you look great” Danny says pulling back to examine you, you blushed at all the sweet gestures.

“She’s always been a looker!” Josh blurts in his exaggerated Midwest accent, raising his brows giving you a cheeky smile. You giggle at his candor.

“Yeah? You’re like…glowing, I’m glad to see you so happy. Also I didn’t tell you when I saw you but I don’t know why you were nervous on what to wear, this dress looks beautiful on you” Ronnie says smoothing out the flyaways on the top of your head. You and Josh make eye contact, he flashes you a look knowing exactly why you were nervous before averting his eyes and taking a sip of his mixed drink.

“Thank you guys I really really appreciate it, but this is a celebration for you! We haven’t seen each other in quite some time, let's make the most of it yeah?” You say raising your glass.

Jake would never say it out loud because he loved teasing you, but you did look rather beautiful today. Sam was right, you looked different. Good different. Maybe it was the hair, or maybe it was having some stress-free months without them. Jake knew they could be quite the handful and maybe this time away from each other caused this new glow, so he thought.

Whatever it was, he admired the way your hair blew softly in the wind. How the midday sun had created the perfect glow on your skin. He especially loved how the sweetness of your perfume matched your sweet personality. He was extremely proud to have you in his life.

“Cheers to that!” Sam exclaims raising his seltzer can.

“Alright! First order of business now that we’re all here "Josh butts in, waving a finger in the air. We wait patiently for his supposed plans, all you hear is the faint music for a second before he speaks up again.

“Yeah.. I’ve got nothing. Although it is a rather beautiful day..” he continues looking around at the beautiful midday sunlight. The six of us break into laughter at his wit.

“Doesn’t Spencer have a pool table? I say we play a couple rounds and catch up?" Sam offers looking around for approval.

‘I’m in, everybody down?” Jake speaks up, moving to stand beside you. Hums of approval circulate as we all migrate inside towards the billiards table. Before you fully enter Spencer’s spare room you feel a hand on your lower back. Turning, you're met with Jake's familiar caramel eyes.

“Hey.. whenever you’ve got time, you mind if I get a word alone with you?” He asks. You should feel worried given the question but he seemed…excited? You couldn’t precisely read the emotion clouding his irises.

‘Um, sure. I-is everything okay” you couldn’t help the anxiety that burned in your chest.

“More than. Just gotta share something special with you.” He says flashing you a warm smile, quickly easing your nerves.

“Okay then, I’d love that.” You smile before you two make your way inside the room seeing a couple of others have also decided they wanted a go at pool. You spot Ronnie sitting next to Danny on the loveseat and plop down beside her. Taking a long sip from your wine.

“Thirsty?” She laughs, boy she has no idea.

“Yea just needed some refreshment in my life, you know?” you wink at her before setting your glass on the table beside you. She giggles before continuing her conversation with Danny. You watch as the boys argue over who gets solids and who gets stripes.

“You ever gonna learn how to play pool y/n?” Jake teases knowing you’ve never been the best at it. You decide to entertain it.

“Only if I come across a good enough teacher.” You quip smiling up at him.

“Come on then, I think I know a guy” he smirks, reaching his hand out to help you up. You gently take his into your own, pulling yourself onto your feet. Josh takes your spot on the couch as Jake walks you both towards the table and hands you the stick.

You smile at Sam on the other side of the table. You immediately try and get into position going solely based on what you’ve seen. You hear a chuckle behind you as Jake presses himself against your back and adjusts your aim so it’s pointing towards the white ball. Your breath hitches in your throat at the proximity. He clears his throat before abruptly stepping back and shoving his hands in his pockets. Weird.

“Your position was correct, but you were pointing at the black one..you definitely don’t wanna shoot at that just yet” he laughs. “The white one does your dirty work, use it to bounce a striped ball into the closest hole. You and Sam will take turns shooting at your respective balls unless-“ you can’t help but snort, you quickly cover your mouth realizing you’ve interrupted him.

“Hey, get your mind out of the gutter” you just shrug as he smiles. He continues on demonstrating and explaining the rules until you feel confident enough to play a match by yourself. You were grateful Jake has always been so patient with you.

‘You got this y/n!” You hear Ronnie cheer, flashing you her bright smile. You blow her a kiss as Sam initiates the game. Your turn comes and you throw your hair over your shoulders and lean into position. Jake quickly averts his eyes to be respectful although Josh wasn’t shy with it at all.

“Damn mama, lookin good.” he playfully winks, raising his glass to you.

“Oh hush” you laugh before making your first shot that unfortunately didn’t go in but after a couple tries you got the hang of it and you and Sam were down to a close match. You hear Danny and Josh narrating the match like some football game as it comes down to the last few balls on the table until eventually only the 8-ball remains.

This was it. You were one hit away from winning, if you missed this Sam would win and you wouldn’t let that boastful man win any time soon. You may have calmed down over the years but you were still just as competitive as your younger self. You adjust the stick between your fingers, closing one eye to aim just right.

Point. Shoot.

The familiar thud of the ball falling in sounds. You swiftly turn to the long-haired man standing behind you.

“I did it Jake, I did it!!” You exclaim getting lost in the short high of your win. Letting your excitement get the best of you, you tackle him in a hug wrapping your arm around his neck.

“Can’t believe it took you so long to give in and actually play” he says, arms still wrapped around you, pulling back and staring at you. The realization settling in that you may be way too close for comfort. You swore you saw his eyes flicker down to your lips, you brushed it off as wishful thinking. You allow your eyes to run across his face a couple times. Seeing how the tour has treated him. His stubble subtly grew atop his lip, focusing on how soft they looked. His hands tighten around your waist as his breathing picks up. You realize you’ve lingered for too long as silence washes over the room.

You loosen your grip on him and step away from his embrace. You look around seeing everyone had dispersed talking with others. Suddenly feeling very awkward, you clear your throat adjusting the fabric of your dress before combing your fingers in your hair in an attempt to recollect yourself seeing as you now feel incredibly flushed. You clear your throat before speaking up.

“I think I’m gonna step out for a sec” you smile meekly, grabbing your glass.

“N-no yeah, by all means” he gestures towards the door adjusting the lapel of his coat that you had so desperately clung onto moments before.

————————————————————————————

You rush out smiling politely at everyone you pass on your way to the back deck. The sun has started to set, the beautiful golden hour shining brighter than ever across the yard. You step outside feeling the breeze brush past your skin, quietly thankful there was no one out here. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you sit on the porch swing.

You stare off trying to process whatever the fuck that was. God, he just made your heart flutter without any thought. The way he leaned up against you. The way his eyes seemingly locked onto your lips for a split second. It was all too much, were you being delusional? Either way you needed a breather before you made any mistakes. He was your friend, he would never deem you as anything more. He’s seen all your ugly awkward phases, there’s no way he’d see you in any sort of romantic light especially with the amount of beautiful women he meets, he could have anyone.

“Can we talk?” You heard his voice as the sliding door shut. You turn and meet Jake’s eyes as he steps closer in your direction.

“Of course! Sorry, I didn’t mean to just run off. I think the riesling might’ve gotten to me a bit” you force a laugh.

“Come sit” you continue as you pat the spot next to you on the swing. He adjusts his coat before taking a seat and running his hands through his hair.

“Ahh don’t worry about it, I just figured I wanna tell you sooner than later. This is special to me and I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while” his tight-lipped smile showing as he toys with his bracelets before looking up and turning to face you.

He grabs both your hands in his and your heart beat quickly accelerates.

“You’re important to me, y/n. And I think it’s time I share this with you, I can’t hide it any longer. I've been avoiding it because I couldn’t find the right words to say…” he says as his eyes lock in on your own, his thumb gently rubbing over your fingers.

What the fuck is happening? You think to yourself.

“What is it, Jake? You can tell me anything you know..” you say hopeful eyes gazing up at him.

If this was going in the direction you’d hoped, all your dreams would come true. You quickly brushed it off not wanting to get your hopes up.

“I know, sunshine.” He chuckles softly.

“Um, I wanna start by saying I value how close we are which is why I need to make this known..”

Oh my god, is he…

“I’ve been deciding on wether or not I want to pursue this and I don’t think the answer could’ve been clearer, its been in front of me this whole time for fucks sake” he gives a breathy laugh as he scoots closer, eyes boring into your own. His eyebrows furrow for a moment like he’s unsure if he should continue but it's quickly replaced by a smile.

This is it.. is this his way of telling you he feels it too?

“Fuck it I’m just gonna say it..”

Please say what I think you're gonna say..

“Yeah?” You prod, the hope in your tone making you internally cringe.

“..I started seeing someone from our crew…i really like her y/n” he smiled looking at his shoes.

Oh.

The minute those words left his mouth your world seemingly went mute. Your ears rung like you had just been dunked under water. Your smile faded as your face became agonizingly hot and your throat tightened. How could you be so foolish? You should’ve known better. Of course he wasn’t about to confess his undying love for you as you would to him, you let your hopeless romanticism take over and now you’ve hurt your own feelings. Your dress suddenly feeling too tight on your body. You hair was touching all the wrong places. There probably was no need for the internalized dramatics but you wanted to crawl out of your own skin right now.

“Earth to y/n? Aren’t you gonna say anything” he laughs, scanning your face for any sort of emotion. You’d learned how to keep a good poker face dealing with his plethora of girlfriends. You faked a bright smile as tears threatened to spill over.

“Y-yeah!” You clear your throat realizing your voice has broken.

“Is everything okay?” He asks cutting you off before you could continue on. You still kept the insufferably wide fake smile on your face.

“Everything’s great! I'm just so happy for you Jakey, she must be a very special girl and I'm glad you’ve found someone who can put a smile like that on your face” you said, taking your hands from his grasp and rubbing his arm. You made sure to bring out your old nickname for him to convince him you were being sincere.

Jake was listening intently but knew you were lying. He’s known you for years, if he had know any better he’d say you looked heartbroken but decided not to press on it.

‘There’s no way she’s upset, she sees me as just a friend.’ Jake thinks to himself.

“Y-yea i just wanted to tell you today ‘cause she’ll be here any minute now and i’d love for you and Ronnie to finally meet her” he says, now seemingly unsure of himself.

“Wow! Y-yeah.. I mean I’d love to!” You say nervously running your fingers through your hair. God, how were you gonna get through meeting her so soon after the love of your life, who didn’t know he was the love of your life, had just single-handedly shattered your heart.

“Great, i'm so happy you’re my best friend sunshine” he says standing up opening his arms signaling he wants a hug. You rise and give him a quick embrace.

“Yea… me too.” You say as you try and fight off the tears once his arms wrap around you.

You excuse yourself to grab another drink. You rush inside but of course you just had run into Josh on your way to find the strongest bottle of alcohol this house could provide.

“Woah slow down little lady— hey… you okay?” he says, noticing your glossy eyes.

“Peachy. Now, if you’ll excuse me for just one second” you say trying to squeeze past.

“Ah-ah-ah, not until you tell me what’s got you in such a hurry.” He says grabbing your wrist.

“I just need a second alone, please josh..” your voice trails off into whisper, you were trying your best to stay composed but the more he kept poking and prodding at this fresh wound the more afraid you were of completely imploding.

“Oh, okay..” he complies, releasing his grip as he watches you snatch the entire bottle of wine and make your way to the guest bathroom. You were gonna need some liquid courage to withstand meeting whoever this chick is. You didn’t mean to be so sour but you felt foolish.

————————————————————————————

You sat down on the closed toilet seat after locking the bathroom door and thanked whomever that this wine bottle was a twist cap. You took a few sips before processing everything.

10 years.

10 years of convincing yourself that this would go away, but it somehow only grew stronger.

10 years of being irrevocably in love with one of your closest friends.

You were stupid enough to think he would feel the same way when he’s legitimately touring the world and has any girl he chooses at his feet.

Why couldn’t it be me?

I should’ve spoken up sooner. It’s all too late. Would he have even liked me back?

You let your head drop as tears clouded your vision, you succumbed to just letting them fall freely now that you were in private.

You wept for your inner teenage self knowing all she wanted got squashed right before your eye. Life can turn on a dime, you shouldn’t have wasted so much time hoping one day he just might make a move. I mean josh was right, you pathetically remained single because you only had eyes for his brother… for the most part. You’ve mingled but none of them could ever truly get your mind off of him. And for what? He’s just a guy. Albeit, a guy who is incredibly kind to you, knows all your in’s and out’s. How you like your coffee, all your favorite songs. He knew that you had to sleep with one extra blanket in bed because the only way you can fall asleep is if you're wrapped up in it. He knew that you would only ever accept flowers if at least one of the petals has wilted because lest we forget, we too are all but a little damaged. He’d grown to know all your weird habits as if it was second nature to him. He was what every girl desired.

You'd devoted yourself to him, built your life around him almost. Your earliest memories are plagued with him and his family and now everything has come crashing down faster than you can handle. You had a feeling deep down that you needed to get over him years ago so who are you to sit here and feel sorry for yourself. You knew better than to think he could ever love you back. You knew blind faith would come back to bite you in the ass.

It was stupid to wait so long with all these bottled up feelings towards him, you feel like you’ve wasted so much of your time helplessly hoping in silence and now who were you meant to seek advice from. You can’t tell your best friend he’s just broken your heart because you’ve been madly in love with him since you were seventeen. You can’t tell Ronnie because, although you’re incredibly grateful for it, she would come to your immediate defense and the last thing you wanted was a big fallout at their welcome home party. You’ve never been in more internal conflict than now.

You allowed yourself to shed a couple more tears before touching up your makeup and chugging down some more of the cheap Riesling. They would come looking for you any second now.

You collected yourself taking one last glance in the mirror before exuding a shaky breath as your hand reached to turn the knob. Stepping outside your met with Josh leaned up against the wall. Was he waiting for you to get out?

“There you are..” he whispered, swiftly grasping your arm and dragging you right back into the bathroom.

“J-josh what the fuck? What are you doi-“ you were cut off by him shushing you and locking the door.

“Listen, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he would actually make it official with her. I thought she was some fling of his. If I had known I would’ve warned you.”

“So you know about our conversation?” You softly ask, trying to tame the lump growing in your throat.

“Yea, she’s here and Jake said you ran off after he told you he wanted to introduce you to her”

“Oh my god, I probably embarrassed myself. I wasn’t thinking Josh, I was just afraid I’d lose it in front of him” You say bringing your hands up to rub your temples. Josh reaches to grab your wrists, holding your arms in front of you.

“Hey, hey.. stop stressing yourself out. Everything happens for a reason, okay? You didn’t embarrass yourself, no one suspects a thing. I just wanted to make sure you were alright, it's pretty big news for you” he says, thumb rubbing gently on your forearms. The waterworks were conjuring up again, a small tear slipped as you met his eyes.

“I waited too long Josh…” you whispered.

“You were right. I shouldn’t have done this to myself. I-I mean, am I crazy for wishing someone could love me the way I love them?” You questioned rhetorically, your teary eyes staring into Josh’s pity-filled ones. You hated how he was staring at you. You didn’t need pity, you knew the mess you got yourself into.

"Not crazy at all, sunshine.” Hearing Jake's nickname for you coming out of Josh’s mouth felt wrong. Especially right now.

“Come on. let's take a deep breath and greet the guest, shall we?” He offers. You inhale a sharp breath before nodding your head in compliance, it was gonna happen one way or another, might as well man up for now and wallow in the privacy of your own home.

————————————————————————————

You both make your way into the living room seeing everyone gathered around the couch. A few people seemed to have gone home, there were a lot less people than when you showed up. Sam, Dan, and Ronnie sat on one couch.

Your eyes peered over to Jake in the kitchen talking to a beautiful blonde. She was wearing black silk blouse and some mom jeans. It was casual but elegant, you envied how effortlessly pretty she was.

“Hey.. stop getting in your head.” Josh whispered in your ear. Claire and Spencer waved for you to come join everyone. You took your seat as Ronnie got up from her spot next to Sam and came over to sit next to you.

“Where were you? You like..disappeared” she giggled. You smiled at her as best you could.

“The wine wasn’t sitting well, I needed a breather” you laugh hoping she believed you.

The only reason you never told any of your friends about your feelings for Jake was because at first you were convinced it would go away, so why embarrass yourself by telling someone something only for it to not be true in a few weeks and potentially jeopardize an entire friendship. Then as the years went on of you gaslighting yourself into thinking it would go away, all of a sudden 10 years had gone by.

“Ugh I feel you, Sam made me the nastiest marg earlier. I thought I was gonna yak” she says clutching her stomach. You laugh along with her, thankful she didn’t pry any further.

You were broken from your conversation as Jake walked in the room, his hand locked in hers as he guided her in.

“Alright everyone, this is Laura. My beautiful girlfriend.” He says leaning in to kiss her cheek. Jake seemed like he’s had one too many, his words slightly slurring but you don’t question any further. She politely smiled and greeted everyone. Jake notices you, his eyes twinkle before shining you a bright smile and gesturing for her to come meet you.

“Y/n, Laura. Laura, y/n.. this lovely lady has been one my best friends since elementary school” he introduces, slurring his words a bit gesturing towards you with an open palm. You smile wide and rise to give her a quick hug, Josh watching you intently. Your hospitality is admirable.

“Oh my gosh! You’re y/n! I've heard so much about you, I love your dress” she compliments.

Fuck. She’s actually really nice, it sounds terrible to say but you were secretly hoping she was bitch so you wouldn’t feel as bad for being so upset. Your moral compass however, refuses to allow you to feel negatively towards anyone undeserving.

“Thank you, you're so kind. It’s a pleasure to meet you” you smile bright as your cheeks flush from the sincerity of the compliment. She excuses herself to the bathroom, as Jake gestures for the two of you to take a seat yet again. The constant sitting and standing was starting to wear you out.

“Soooo what’d you think?” He says

“Short interaction, but she seems like a great girl Jakey. As long as you're happy I’m happy.” You give a tight-lipped smile, toying with a loose string on your dress.

“That’s it? That’s all you're gonna say?” he asks, stumbling over his words. There’s a certain tone he brought on that you didn’t like.

“W-well I don’t know what you want me to say… a-are you drunk right now?” You say, now adopting a confused expression.

“You could at least act a little more enthused for me. I mean do you even care at all? I was excited for the two of you to meet” he says, scooting back in his spot. He seemed offended, where was all this coming from?

“I-I’m sorry? I don’t know why you’re getting so upset with me. What do you want me to do Jake?” You say lowering your tone so the others around you do catch wind of whatever disagreement this seemed to be.

“You know what…just forget it, you could at least act like you care.” He spat, harshly grabbing his drink and abruptly leaving from his spot beside you. You sat there in shock.

What the fuck.

Your face suddenly felt hot, your throat tightened aggressively. You needed to get out of this house. You did care, too much. That’s why you felt your entire body go numb as tears clouded your vision. Why was he being so mean? Today has been the worst day ever. You swiftly get up from the couch and collect your things. You think you’ll make it with a successful Irish goodbye but of course with your luck, Josh catches you just before you slip out the front door.

‘Hey, where are you going” he asks.

“I can’t josh, I need to leave. I’m so sorry I just- I don’t know what came over him or how much he drank in the amount of time between our conversation and now but suddenly I’m the bad guy?? I don’t even know what I did wrong, apparently I don’t care enough? When you and I both know that’s far from the truth. I just wanna go home josh…please. I think I really fucked it this time and I need to process everything a little bit, okay? I really don’t mean to ruin your welcome home party, truly. I’m so glad to see you guys and maybe you and I could grab lunch this weekend to make up for me leaving so soon and bringing this drama.” You ramble, furiously wiping the tears streaming down your face. Josh doesn’t say anything, he just frowns and pulls you into a much needed hug.

“Alright mama, don’t worry about it.. you haven’t ruined anything. He probably had too much to drink. As far as I’m concerned I’m the only one who knows about this little fallout. Text me when you’re home, okay? Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” He questions.

“I’m okay, I was only kinda tipsy and that whole thing really sobered me up.” You let out a pathetic laugh at how humorous this all was. He rubs your arm before allowing you to make your way out.

You felt guilty for leaving so early, you didn’t mean to make it about you and you would’ve stuck it out but given Jake's newfound attitude towards you, you didn’t feel very welcomed anymore. Maybe you could’ve been more enthused but this was also heavy news for you. You start feeling regretful as you realized you had been a bit insensitive. You would have shown more joy for your best friend but how were you meant to give any more than that?? I mean she left for the bathroom in the middle of the greeting for fucks sake.

You sighed feeling at a loss. Granted, your feelings weren’t his responsibility but how exactly was he expecting you to react? You weren’t necessarily jumping with joy at the idea. But then again, he had no idea about your feelings. In his eyes, his best friend wasn’t matching his energy on something he deemed important. You start wracking your brain on everything you could’ve done to avoid this, essentially kicking yourself while your already down.

You make it to your car, hoping to just go home, have a night of reflection in a warm bath. As you sit down your phone vibrates in your hand.

Message from: Sam Wam Bam🕺🏻

-some friend you are..

Sam?? What the fuck? Why is he saying that?

Message from: Jake ❤️

-don’t even bother reaching out anymore.

wow.

He must’ve said something to Sam. Now sam probably thinks you were being a shit friend and ditched him and his brother at their own welcome back party after sharing the news with everyone.

You dropped your head to rest on your steering wheel as you realized you seemed inconsiderate to the people who didn’t know about your repressed feelings for the man. You felt like you ruined everything. You knew better than to get your hopes up, why did you think today would be any different and he would spontaneously have feelings for you? Foolish.

You let out a sob at their messages knowing this whole situation has been misunderstood. Because of it, everything was crumbling down around you.

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So…thoughts? How we feelin’?

[dnpoll]

omg can you pls do a poll that is fave jealous dan moment? <33

@silverfoxphil's jealous dan compilation helped me out a lot so watch that if you haven't!! although you (dnpbeats) did help making that according to the description so thanks for that also LOL

[talaok]

Hey. I have an idea for pedro and reader

The reader's ex calls her in the middle of the night begging her back to him and the reader gets out the bedroom trying not to wake pedro up and avoid any fight but he wakes up and gets jealous and angry

Jealous Pedro is my own personal curse lol, I genuinely don’t get why you like him. But for you? Anything babes. Also, happy ending won in the poll, but thanks to an anon I've decided to write both endings bc I'm an asshole

warnings: jealousy, angst

Pt.2

Oh fuck please not again.

Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, and you didn’t even need to look at the caller to know who it was.

Only one person would call you at 4:45 am. the same one that had been flooding you with texts and calls for a week now.

You had been ignoring him, telling yourself that “It’s just a phase” and “it’ll pass”, but god, had you been wrong.

You and Jason had broken up two years ago now, and casually, just when you had finally made your relationship with Pedro public, he felt the need to connect with you again.

That's not how Jason had always been, he was once caring and fun and everything you needed... until he wasn't.

He hadn't taken your breaking up with him well, and you tried to be understanding of it, god knows you had been in the same position too once or twice, your heart broken, your mind confused- but then when after two months he'd still call you crying, you decided to give him a little tough love by texting him something that could be summarized in "I know you're hurt but this is getting kind of ridiculous at this point" and by blocking him.

Somewhere after that, for some godforsaken reason, you had decided to unblock him, and to really show off your decision-making skills, you even answered the phone when he had called you last week, finding him in tears, begging for a second chance.

If you were anyone to judge, this call wasn't gonna be much different, but this story had to end at one point, and as you got up from the bed, sneaking out of the room as Pedro breathed soft snores into the air, you decided the time had come.

"Jason?" you whispered, tiptoeing to the living room.

"baby? Oh my god it's really you, I've been trying to call you"

"yeah I saw" you stated, not short of sarcasm

"Oh t-that's ok, you were busy I jus-"

"no Jason I wasn't busy, this is inappropriate"

"Wha-what are you talking about baby, I love you" 

there went the tears again

"Jason I'm sorry alright, but I don't, I have a boyfriend, I'm happy"

"no you don't understand babe I can't live without you, I love you more than life y/n, more than anything... I- I need you"

"Jason we broke up a long time ago. It's over. It has been for a while now"

"you don't mean that baby, we love each other, remember how good we were together? I know you do"

"stop calling me baby and stop calling me in general Jason. I don't love you and I don't want to get back together" Your voice raised to a whispery-yell as you got more frustrated.

"Why are you whispering- Is he there? Let me talk to him"

"why would I do that? What would you even want to tell him?"

"I'm sure I can make him understand, man to man y'konw-"

"oh shut up" you rolled your eyes "Jason stop calling me"

"but bab-"

"No. No buts, it's over. we're never getting back together. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to sleep, and I suggest you do the same"

"y/n please- I love you, I need you I-"

"goodnight Jason. Don't call me again" You didn't give him time to finish as you hung up, throwing your phone on the couch and closing your eyes as you took a very well-deserved deep breath.

Fuck this shit man.

"Who was it?"

You jumped on your feet, a shiver of fear running down your spine as you turned towards the ominous voice.

"Pedro-" you sighed, taking in his sleep-filled expression.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" he apologized, with a soft chuckle "Who were you talking to?"

shit

"uh- don't worry, it was no one"

"I don't think it was no one if you got up at 4 in the morning to answer, did something happen?"

"no-no nothing like that, it's stupid, don't worry"

He frowned as he studied your expression, clearly confused at your secrecy.

"Who was it?"

Your eyes focused behind him at the glimpse of your room the opened door granted.

Everything was fine just 10 minutes ago...

"It was Jason"

Pedro paused a moment, taken aback by your answer

"Jason as in your ex-boyfriend Jason?" he asked "And why exactly was Jason calling you in the middle of the night?"

"it's not what you think" 

This was why you didn't want him to know.

He had a history with unfaithfulness, the woman before you had cheated on him multiple times and left him hurt and bruised, and it was hard for him to fully trust you - or anyone for that matter- after that.

you didn't want him to close off again, you trusted each other, and you feared this would have given him a reason to get back to old habits.

"It's not? 'cause it sure looks like it"

"no, let me explain-" you got closer to him.

"I'm so fucking stupid" he huffed, not listening to you 

"no you're not, just-listen to me" you said, putting a hand on his chest in an attempt to calm him down

He watched you, hurt and anger in his eyes, but he took a breath, nodding as he grumbled a "fine"

"He's been calling me for a while-"

"is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Baby, let me talk" you reminded him, and he gave you another non-enthusiastic nod "He's been calling me since I made our relationship public, saying that he wants to get back with me and that he loves me..." you paused, glancing at the way he tightened his fists by his side "and I've been ignoring him because-" your lips turned into a soft smile as you reached for his hand "...well because I've got you, and I don't want anybody else in the world except you"

You intertwined your fingers with his and brought his hand up to your mouth to leave a quick kiss on it.

"and the only reason why I answered tonight is because I was sick of it, and I wanted to tell him once and for all that we're done because I love you, and only you Pedro" You stood on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek "I promise"

You saw the way your words affected him.

And as much as he tried to fight it, you were always the only one able to calm him down, even when his worst fear came to life. Because he loved you, but most importantly... he trusted you.

"are you telling the truth?" he finally asked, as if in his mind he wasn't praying for you to be doing just that.

He didn't want to lose you, he couldn't.

"I am baby. I swear" 

His eyes left yours for a second as he took a deep breath

"why didn't you tell me? I would have done something, I would have gone have a talk with that asshole"

You let out a small laugh

"yeah, a talk" you teased, raising your eyebrows "And besides it didn't matter, it was just a stupid thing not worth your time"

he took your other hand in his, shaking his head

"if he, or anybody else, does this again you tell me, ok?" 

As much as you wanted to joke about how many crazy exes he believed you had, you decided this wasn't the time.

"ok" you smiled "I promise"

"good" he nodded, bending down to ghost your lips "Now let's go to bed so I can remind you of a few things I'm sure I'm better at than Jason"

__ __ __

or... (angst with no happy ending)

__ __ __

"It's not what you think"

"It's not? 'cause it sure looks like it"

"It was just a phone call Pedro, just let me explain"

"A phone call with your ex-boyfriend"

"yes, exactly my ex-boyfriend"

"This is unbelievable," he huffed, passing a hand through his hair in a frustrated gesture "I fucking trusted you. You made me trust you, and then... then you go screw that fucking asshole behind my back"

"I'm not screwing anybody"

"sure you aren't" he turned to walk away, but you grabbed his arm.

"Listen to me"

"To what? more lies?" he snapped 

"No Pedro I can explain if you just let me talk"

"I don't need an explanation, I know exactly what's going on, just- leave me, I'll go"

"Just like that?" you questioned "You don't even wanna hear me out for a second? You so easily lose all the trust you had in me?"

"Can you blame me?" 

"This is ridiculous, I've answered the phone to tell him to stop calling, that's the only reason why! I'm not cheating on you" you spoke, your tone getting louder "And the fact that you came to that conclusion so quickly is fucking insulting"

"right" he snickered "so you answered the phone at four in the morning to tell him to stop calling, very believable y/n" he shook his head "and to think you're a fucking actress"

"fuck you Pedro" you spat out "You know what? I deserve someone who trusts me, who lets me fucking speak and explain myself, not someone who at the first mistake throws me out like trash"

"And I deserve someone who's not a cheater. Guess we both deserve better"

"I guess we do"

[anachilles]

“So, what’s the prognosis, Doc? Am I gonna live?”

Your firehouse buckies? 😍 or anything else with buck x bucky 💓

omg hi! and please yes give me all the excuses to write my firehouse!au buckies!! (for those who may not be familiar - this is firefighter!bucky and bartender/PhD student!buck) here's a little thing set significantly further along than where we're currently at in the actual fic lol. + shout out to @avonne-writes and their 'who's taking who's surname?' poll and the discourse for inspiring a little part of this lol. currently taking prompts from this list: [ x ]

"So, what's the prognosis, Doc? Am I gonna live?"

His voice hoarse and barely there, trust John to tease him even around the tail end of a thermometer, just as Gale went to pull it from his mouth.

'Suppose he can't be too sick if he still has jokes,' was the first thought that came to Gale's mind. The second thought though, sneaking up hot on the first's heels, was 'John would be cracking jokes on his damn deathbed so that really isn't as much of a reassurance as it should be.'

Gale squinted as he examined the numbers. The light was low in the early winter morning, the sun not having quite fully risen yet. He'd usually have switched even just his own bedside lamp on as he got himself ready to leave for the day, but with John's groan of protest that particular morning, he’d quickly switched off again.

It'd been a restless night, and even though they were both feeling the impact of John's tossing and turning, and the seemingly inability for him to breathe at all through his nose anymore, the man himself just looked downright exhausted with it. He'd eventually managed to fall asleep with his hot, clammy forehead pressed into the back of Gale’s neck, plastered to his back, and Gale hadn’t the heart to try and move him despite how he had then been overheating.

"You know there's another, arguably much more enjoyable way to do that..." John leered, even if half-heartedly, and if only to fill the silence as Gale's eyebrows pinched at whatever he saw on the little digital screen.

See, this is why they'd more or less permanently shacked up at Buck's place rather than his. He had stuff like thermometers lying around. Stuff an actual home has.

Gale looked up at him then, incredulous. "You're really trying to flirt with me, sitting there with a 101 degree fever?" he said, turning the thermometer as if to prove his point. Incredulous, but not surprised; not really.

"Baby, if I'm ever sick enough that I don't want to flirt with you, make you blush all pretty like you do, that's when you should be worried."

Gale had almost been tempted to smile at that, until John had to cut himself off, a sudden bout of congested coughing rattling from his throat.

Capturing the inner corner of his bottom lip between his teeth, Gale sighed, his long legs unfolding from beneath him and as he got up from where he'd been perching on his side of the bed. He crossed to John's bedside, pulling the covers further up around the other man’s chest.

Gale clicked his tongue slightly, though his expression and voice betrayed him in their co-ordinating softness. "All of this because you just had to be the hero and go jump in the damn lake."

Off to the side of them, Maverick jumped up onto the bed, sleepily curling in at Bucky's side in the warm spot Gale had just vacated. She bumped her head against John's hand, eager and impatient as the day Gale met her. John responded without even having to look away from the conversation, his fingers scritching at the especially soft little spot of fur behind each of her ears.

“Hey, I saved someone's life."

Gale wordlessly took his phone from his pocket, showing him the text he'd already gotten from Benny, "Just FYI - let the record show that the guy knew how to swim and your boy did not have to jump in after him."

Uh, since when did his team all acquire his boyfriend's number just for the purposes of ratting him out?

"Well how was I supposed to know that?! It’s called due diligence."

Either way, he'd ended up with what seemed to either be a wicked cold or the beginnings of the flu for his trouble.

"You make up for your lack of sympathy with your excellent bedside manner, Doctor" John said, talking half to himself as Gale strode out to the kitchen at the sound of the kettle whistling.

He continued as the other man reappeared a minute later, a steaming Fire Department-branded mug in one hand, his own filled travel mug in the other. "Huh, that's kind of funny, seeing as you will be and everything. Dr Cleven."

“Not that kind of doctor,” Gale muttered, and John breathed out a faint laugh. He knew the difference, duh, but it was cute when Gale interpreted things so literally sometimes before he could think about it.

Gale quirked a brow as he set the mug down on John’s bedside table, batting aside lozenge wrappers and tissues with the rim of it to make room.

"Y'know what has an even better ring to it, though? Dr Gale Egan..."

When the idea of marriage came up between them, it was always in an abstract, vague kind of sense, underpinned by off-hand comments and passing jokes relaying the image of some version of their life that lay a safe distance away on the horizon. It wasn't right in front of them yet, but it felt comfortably inevitable, which made talking about it casually not really a big deal. One of the more common jokes being what they do in terms of surnames.

Gale could tell John was sentimental about his father's name in a way he himself wasn't about his own. It was never said so outright, but he got the sense that it was either a matter of hyphenating (even with John's arguments that neither Cleven-Egan or Egan-Cleven 'sounded right'), or Gale taking John's.

When Gale thought about the idea of shedding his father's name, he felt so much nothing it almost pissed him off because shouldn't it evoke something? Is that not the most normal reaction to losing such a defining part of your identity, feeling some sense of sadness? Of loss? It felt more to him like shrugging off a grimy, weather-beaten old coat turned threadbare in the elements, not particularly pleasant but reliably familiar. It was simply what he had.

Looking now, he took in the pallid, rheumy face and contrastingly long, firm lines of a man who loved him like John loved him. Who loved him so unshakeably, proved to him over and over seemingly without even really having to try; who made it look easy. Who loved him in a way he didn't think he ever could be loved, or be prompted himself to love like he loved John back.

"Well, then I guess you have until I finish my PhD to marry me."

There was a weird beat of silence and neither seem to be sure whether they were still joking or not.

“You saying you want to marry me? Is that a proposal? A deathbed proposal?” The look that bloomed on John’s face was as adorable as it was utterly insufferable. It was, however, quickly dispelled however by a sudden sneeze. He reached for more tissues, the groan that followed evidently vexed.

It cut through whatever tension had inadvertently bled into the moment, though, and Gale smiled. “Bless you. Tempting proposition that it is…” Gale finally said, as he checked his watch. When he continued, there was an edge of regret in his voice. “If I want to be Dr Anything I’d better get going.”

A noise echoed from John's throat, half displeased, half mournful.

Gale sighed and leant forward, bringing a gentle hand to John's fever-flushed cheek, his thumb stroking lightly on the sharp angle of his cheekbone. "Now, you get some sleep and drink plenty of water, you hear me? You can have more of these here pills in like a couple more hours. I should be home around 3ish, but text me if you need anything or your temperature gets any higher."

His voice was as even and steady as ever, only John could tell he was fretting slightly by how unsettled his hands were, and how they kept touching him, fiddling with the blankets, smoothing things down that were already smoothed down as he spoke.

John reached out and grab Gale's wrist, stilled it, in a odd reversal of their usual roles. "Okay, okay..." he acquiesced lightly, easily, and was immediately rewarded when Gale's fingers laced into the sweat-damp curls that had fallen down into his face, moving them aside so he could press a kiss to his forehead. His lips lingered for an achingly welcome half-beat, before moving to press another to his cheek.

Gale tore himself away then, grabbing his wallet, keys, and the steaming travel mug where he'd abandoned them on the dresser, and tossed his bag over his shoulder. A few second later, he was gone.

“Dr Gale Egan” is all John thinks about for the rest of the day.

In between naps, that is.

[cheegu3]

Enhypen - the glory (part 5)

summary; after rejecting one of the most popular boys at your new school, you soon realised that you'd done the gravest mistake of your life; these weren't ordinary boys, and now they were set on making your life a living hell - heavily based on the kdrama with the same name

warnings; yandere, bullying, swearing, alcohol, hospital scene, mentions of murder & suicide, affair

genre; yandere

wc; 4.8k

pairing; enha x f.m reader

note; this is more of a chill chapter, we get someone's backstory :D but yeah u won't be as stressed after as the last chapter lmao, also I've changed the narrating a little based on this poll I did, if everyone hates it I will change it lol, but I felt it added a little more flavour ??? to the characters.

masterlist

The sound of the phone hitting the floor echoed in the empty hallway. You backed away, slowly while never taking your eyes off of it; as if it had a camera inside and whoever texted was watching with a grin on their face.

It started ringing, vibrating violently on the floor. You ran up and picked it up, only because you were afraid they were still in the building and could hear it. But when looking down at the screen, you breathed out in relief. It was the number that Soobin had texted with.

‘’ Hello? ‘’

You waited in silence, not wanting to risk revealing anything in case that number wasn’t him either.

‘’ Y/n? ‘’

It was his voice, thankfully.

‘’ Soobin! I think they have my number. I got a text from someone else and I thought it was you. ‘’ you said in a hushed voice, starting to walk towards the entrance while hunched over.

‘’ What? Did you say anything? ‘’

‘’ Not anything that would make them think I was talking to you. But who do I say I thought it was? They will probably ask tomorrow. ‘’

Soobin quietened for a moment.

‘’ Maybe it’s best you don’t come to the academy tomorrow. ‘’

‘’ No, that’s a terrible idea! It will make me look really suspicious. ‘’

‘’ Will you really be able to lie to their faces if you see them though? ‘’

‘’ I have to try at least. But if I don’t succeed, a backup plan? ‘’

You heard him hum on the other side of the line.

‘’ We can use Yeonjun then. ‘’

Your face scrunched up, doubt written all over your face. You were pretty sure he’d reject it, rather rudely, based on him telling you to stay away from his brother the last time the two of you talked.

‘’ Or…Yena. ‘’ you suggested.

‘’ Yena? Who is that? ‘’

‘’ Jungwon’s sister. I’ve met her and she gave the impression of almost hating him. It’s a long shot bu- ‘’

Soobin sassily agreed, ‘’ It definitely is. ‘’

‘’ Backup plans don’t have to be super solid. I’m just gonna bet everything on plan A working out. ‘’

You didn’t have many choices after all. Yena was risky and uncertain, Yeonjun was almost certainly a no and you weren’t sure about Sunoo yet. With no other friends that could be undercover right under the noses of your bullies, all that was left to do was to believe in yourself and be confident; which was definitely a first.

‘’ What do I do if they text again? ‘’

‘’ Pretend like you knew it was them from the beginning. If they question it, say you were…drunk? ‘’ 

Your loud laugh echoed. ‘’ Soobin, your suggestions suck. ‘’

‘’ Sorry…’’ he mumbled back.

‘’ I might have to resort to that though, if it all goes to shit. ‘’

‘’ I still don't think you should go. ‘’

‘’ My parents want me to get good grades. I can’t lose my scholarship at this prestigious school. ‘’

‘’ But you already went today. Just use an excuse so you don’t have to see them. We can hang out instead, if you want? ‘’

Your phone vibrated again in your hand.

‘’ Hold on, I’m getting another call. I’ll let you know though. ‘’

‘’ Okay, bye! ‘’

You pressed answer on the incoming call after having hung up on Soobin. It was an unknown number again, so mentally you prepared yourself before putting the phone to your ear.

‘’ Hello? ‘’

‘’ Did you guess right? ‘’

The voice sounded familiar, but admittedly it was one of the last people you expected.

‘’ Sunghoon? ‘’

‘’ Well done! ‘’

‘’ How do you have my number? ‘’

‘’ Took your phone while Ni-ki was busy with you in the gym. ‘’

Ah, of course. It would’ve been almost impossible to divide your attention between all seven of them to catch them in the act if they went through your stuff. You were thankful for having changed your settings so you actually had a password now, making sure they couldn’t go through your phone and see Soobin there.

‘’ Do the others have it too? ‘’

‘’ Not yet. ‘’

You weren’t sure what to say next, letting the silence settle. You felt like there was something else, but he was taking his time saying it.

‘’ Oh, right! I forgot about that. ‘’ he shouted out abruptly as if talking to himself.

‘’ Forgot about what? ‘’

‘’ You texted me back, almost like you were waiting for someone to text you. ‘’

You panicked and was forced to come up with a lie on the spot in just a few seconds. Luckily, since he couldn’t see you, it was much easier to lie. Your face didn’t heat up and you didn’t have to maintain eye-contact with basically one of the living lie detectors out of the group. 

You were incredibly lucky today. If you were face to face, he’d be able to figure out you were lying very fast.

 ‘’ Yeah…my cousin just got a phone and said she’d text me today. ‘’

He went quiet for a moment, scaring you. Was he trying to assess your voice because he wasn’t sure if he believed you? 

‘’ Are you lying to me, sweetheart? ‘’

You froze but managed to press out an answer through clenched teeth, ‘’ No. ‘’

‘’ Are you sure? I can easily check up on your family, you know that. ‘’

But you had already made up your mind, it would be cruel and very stupid to throw Soobin under the bus now. The only option was doubling-down and lying until your nose turned red.

‘’ Yes. I’m sure. ‘’ you tried to put a little irritation to your tone to make it more believable.

After some time, he ticked his tongue and reluctantly answered,

‘’ Okay. ‘’

You waited with bated breath, for what he’d say next.

‘’ You’re coming tonight, right? ‘’

‘’ Tonight? What’s tonight? ‘’

‘’ Just hanging out. Jungwon’s house. Come over. ‘’

‘’ But- ‘’

Your protest was rudely cut off by the sound of the call ending. Looking down at the phone, a scowl formed on your face and you huffed. Another party? What was wrong with them?

You stood in the corridor, feeling completely dumbfounded. Could you even run away now, no- you glanced down at your arms, remembering what happened last time you did and cursing them for giving you such a permanent reminder.

Taking a deep breath you cautiously made your way to the entrance. Despite him not mentioning anything about the hospital, it was still pretty smart to be on your guard on the way out. Who knew if that girl had texted them as soon as you and Soobin left her room, and they rushed there to ambush you.

But it was fairly quiet when you reached the front desk. If they were hiding, they probably would’ve come out a long time ago, since you were just meters away from the entrance now.

You shrugged off the random burst of paranoia and sprinted to hail a taxi outside. Maybe they would let you go home quite early just like last time. There wasn't much you could bring to the table anyway.

You fished your phone out and texted Soobin, telling him that Sunghoon had called and told you to come to Jungwon's house. It felt a bit unusual. You’d never hung out with them after school up until the day before, when Jay dragged you to the party.

‘’ Miss, we’re here. ‘’

‘’ Thank you. ‘’

You got out and hurried inside as it was still snowing, albeit a lot less than earlier. They were standing in the entrance, all eyes on you when the taxi drove away. The gate stood wide open this time, and the front door was open which gave them a perfect view of the driveway.

‘’ Hey. ‘’ Sunoo smiled at you.

You groaned mentally, whole body screaming for you to turn back around and go home. They didn’t even give you a chance though. As soon as you had put your stuff down, you were dragged by the waist to the living room, where all those people had been last time.

However, this time the couches were empty except for when they started sitting down in them one by one. You shifted uncomfortably, being the only one still standing.

It was obvious that there was no party. No music and no other people, only the alcohol in the red cups was the recurring theme from the day before. Why did they make you come there all alone? You felt anxiety start to brew at the pit of your stomach. 

‘’ I-uh…can I use the bathroom? ‘’

It was the oldest trick in the book, but hopefully they had already had so much to drink before you showed up that they wouldn’t think twice about it.

Jake was the only one who answered, with an uninterested grunt. You went right away, in case they would change their minds. Locking yourself into the bathroom you texted soobin. 

6:00 pm

You: Soobin? They’ve dragged me to Jungwon’s house.

The phone pinged almost immediately, you panicked and turned off the sound, looking around in the silence to see if they might’ve noticed. Nothing moved around outside and no noises or footsteps got closer. 

Next you had to suppress a laugh as you noticed you named him cousin so the others wouldn’t notice anything. Naming him ‘’ baby ‘’ would’ve made all hell break loose if they had just spotted it once.

Cousin: What? Like a party? 

You: Not really, I’m the only one here.

Cousin: Can you get away? 

You sucked on your lip while thinking. There wasn’t really a way out of this unless you wanted to have more wounds on your body. The whole thing felt like a very annoying headache.

Cousin: Y/n? Hello? Do you need help? 

You: No! We have a plan, remember?

Cousin: Sorry :(

You: I’ll text you later

Cousin: I live close by, just run over

You: Will you drive me home? :) 

Cousin: ofc!

‘’ Princess? ‘’

You jumped and almost dropped your phone clumsily in the process of getting up from the toilet seat. The phone slipped into your pocket again. You unlocked the door and stepped out, coming face to face with Heeseung.

He only looked at you briefly, then pushed past you to get to the bathroom. You went back to join the others. Sunoo and Ni-ki occupied the only couch that wasn’t full so you went to them.

Sunoo lit up when seeing you and Ni-ki only said something under his breath before moving so you could sit next to him. Sunoo handed you a cup and you poured alcohol in it, downing it almost immediately in a poor attempt to fix your uneasiness.

‘’ Not drinking? ‘’

‘’ Not a fan. ‘’

Ni-ki sounded moody, resting his elbows on his legs so his whole form was slumped over. His head didn’t raise when he talked, indicating he wanted to be left alone. You looked at Sunoo for answers but he just shrugged, mouthing ‘ bad day ‘.

‘’ Do you still box? ‘’

He finally raised his head to give you a very vehement look. ‘’ Yeah. ‘’ 

Sunoo tried to avoid it when his eyes averted to him, knowing he was looking at him in disbelief over what he had blurted out when he was alone with you. Whistling innocently he looked away and pretended like he was interested in the intense and lively conversation Jake and Jay were having next to him.

Now that Sunoo was turned away from you two, you leaned in a bit closer to Ni-ki, asking what you’d been wondering for a long time.

‘’ Do you even like me? ‘’

He frowned and then looked a bit caught off guard, pulling his hood further up to cover more of his face. ‘’ Yeah? I…think so. ‘’

‘’ But like, as much as the others or…’’ you trailed off.

He glared at you through his bangs which made you close your mouth again, regretting saying anything at all.

‘’ Y/n? ‘’

Sunghoon called you over, patting on the empty seat next to him where presumably Heeseung sat in before. Reluctantly you sat down, glancing at Jake and hoping you wouldn’t catch his attention any time soon, since he was extra bad when intoxicated.

Sunghoon must’ve noticed, his long fingers came up to your jaw, turning your head towards him. You stared into his bleary eyes. He looked very drunk, long gone with his pupils struggling to focus on you. But there was still some tenderness in them.

Sunghoon was slightly anxious. He’d never been alone with you before, and not this close in such an innocent way too; they all acted as a group and stuck together as one, agreeing to not be alone with you for too long.

While leaning his head back on the couch the two of you were sitting on, he turned his head to look at you. It was embarrassing how nervous you made him, as if you were some crush he had in middle school. Just looking at you made his throat close up.

‘’ Do you like this house? ‘’ he randomly blurted out, through slurred speech.

You laughed lightly which made Sunghoon smile widely.

‘’ Yeah, it’s nice. ‘’

He wanted to say more, maybe the way to your heart was to make you laugh. But he didn't get the chance to before Jungwon plopped down on the other side of the couch, next to you.

He didn’t seem at all interested in flirting with you, instead going straight into a rather serious-toned conversation, a dead-pan look on his face.

‘’ Do you know why he invited you here? ‘’

‘’ No. Not really. ‘’ you tilted your head.

‘’ From now on, we want to see you outside of school too. ‘’

You turned to him. ‘’ Why? ‘’

His lips were licked as annoyance flashed across his face, his cold eyes piercing through you. ‘’ Because we said so. ‘’

The alcohol had started to rush to your head already, making your speech a bit slower, vision blurrier but also lips bolder. 

‘’ Why are you always so blunt with me? You’re kind of mean. ‘’ 

He grimaced at your whiny tone and got eye-contact with Sunghoon, who probably knew what his friend was thinking. But he could never really stop Jungwon, since he was the leader after all.

‘’ Because, you’re a brat. ‘’ he calmly said, although his eyes were anything but.

‘’ A brat? ‘’ 

You stood up and almost stumbled into his lap when the dizziness hit you. Tauntingly, you looked down at him while swinging your cup in one hand.

‘’ You’re the ones who fucking bully me, you piece of shit! ‘’

‘’ Y/n. ‘’ Sunghoon warned, seeing Jungwon’s eyes narow.

‘’ Don’t talk to me like that. ‘’

You groaned and almost ripped your hair out in frustration. His calm exterior always made you feel crazy; it made you look hysteric in comparison, and wrong when you had all the reasons to be acting like that.

‘’ Shut the fuck up! ‘’ you yelled.

He snapped. Standing up so fast you flinched and lost balance, he was there to jerk you towards him with a harsh grip around your wrist. You lost your chance to talk as he hurried to drag you upstairs, Sunghoon running behind. 

You get pushed into a bedroom and Sunghoon got the door slammed in his face just as he was a few seconds away from it.

The tension in the room is high. Even though your back was turned to Jungwon, you could almost feel how he seethed of anger, but it was controlled and calculated, he was in control not you.

‘’ Face me. ‘’

You shuddered at his low voice, taking as much time as possible to turn around. The door was locked, who knew what he was going to do to you, away from the eyes of others?

‘’ I’m sorry. ‘’

You finally turned, and immediately your eyes unwillingly welled up with tears. It was the last thing you wanted to happen, but you became that girl in the gym again. Just one look at him and you wanted to cower away, beg for mercy or cry like a helpless child. 

You felt like a different person outside of the school. Because when the day was over, so was the torture. Seeing him look like he wanted to tear you apart in a different environment than the bleak walls of the gym reminded you of your grim future; they would torture you in your safe haven now too. It wouldn’t be over as soon as you passed the gates. They demanded you meet them at their houses and text them. What would happen if you answered just one second too late?

Jungwon stared at you wordlessly. He felt his chest swell with pride due to the sadistic nature of the situation. He liked that you were so afraid of him and that he, more than the others could elicit such a strong reaction from you - only a puppeteer could know his toy that well, know exactly what strings to pull for what; and what is that if not love?

You saw his face unmoved by your sniffling, so as a last resort you pathetically went down on your knees, hands clasping together while incoherent pleas left your mouth.

‘’ Please…please- don’t hurt me. ‘’

He crouched and was careful not to show any emotions. ‘’ Say you’re sorry again. ‘’

You looked up at him and he almost became entranced by the look of your teary eyes, glimmering while looking up at him, only him.

‘’ I’m sorry. ‘’

‘’ Good. ‘’ His lips twitched. ‘’ Stand up. ‘’

They tugged upwards momentarily when you obeyed. You kept your head down, scared to provoke him, even by doing the slightest of things.

‘’ I’m gonna give you my number. When I text, answer. When I call, answer. ‘’ 

He turned his back on you to dig his phone out from a bag thrown on the floor. You got the sudden urge to attack him and then make a run for it, but that wouldn’t lead to anything but short satisfaction.

You recollected yourself in time for him turning back and handing you his phone. When you’re done and he took it back impatiently, he stared at the screen for a while. Then he pressed the number and your phone vibrated.

‘’ Save it. ‘’

You gave a fake smile and nodded. However, seeing as it didn’t seem to satisfy him, you quickly did what he asked on the spot.

‘’ You can go now. ‘’

‘’ Already? I haven’t really talked to the others, and they don’t even have my number except for Sung- ‘’ you pressed your lips shut.

Although it was slowly starting to wear off, the alcohol had made you ramble again and by the look of dissatisfaction on his face, you could tell he wanted you to shut up.

‘’ You don’t need those yet. Am I not doing you a favor? ‘’ he stepped closer, making you automatically back away.

There were only a few meters until you’d back into the wall. You prayed to God that he wouldn’t force you to back into it entirely, so he could creep over you.

‘’ Do you want to be here? ‘’

Your mouth fell open at the horrible accusation. Why would you want to be at the house of one of your bullies, where they all hung around you, taking turns to poke their sticks into your skin to get a reaction?

‘’ No. I’m leaving. ‘’

He didn’t stop you, but you heard the arrogant scoff and saw the smirk when passing by him anyway. Your angry stomping down the stairs caught the attention of the other guys.

‘’ You’re leaving already? ‘’ Jake shouted, hurrying to get up so he could follow you.

Ni-ki and Sunoo watched you curiously, not saying anything.

‘’ You basically just got here. ‘’ 

He tried to pull you into a hug, which you quickly slipped out of, seeing Jungwon standing at the top of the stairs. 

‘’ I said she could go. ‘’

His stern voice made Jake freeze and he moved away from you, giving you a small smile which made you raise your eyebrows awkwardly.

‘’ Bye. ‘’ you mumbled, closing the door behind you.

Well that was…weird? 

*******

‘’ I’m here! ‘’

Soobin ran over to greet you, a big grin plastered on his face.

Footsteps approached the hallway and rounding the corner, the owner of them, Yeonjun popped his head out. His smile dropped when seeing you.

‘’ Y/n. ‘’ he said, rather formally.

‘’ Yeonjun. ‘’

Soobin chuckled. ‘’ No need to be so awkward. You’ve met before. ‘’

You took off your shoes and he strolled off in front of you, making you hurry to follow as you didn’t want to be alone with his grumpy older brother.

‘’ Are you okay? ‘’

‘’ Yeah, it wasn’t too bad. ‘’

He looked relieved and started walking further into the house, waving at Yeonjun to come with and ultimately stopping in the living room.

‘’ Maybe we can watch a movie. ‘’

‘’ I’m fine with anything. ‘’ you smiled.

‘’ Is this the part where I leave? ‘’

‘’ Yeonjun! ‘’ Soobin gasped.

His cute attempt at trying to look stern made you snort.

Meanwhile, his older brother threw his head back and groaned in discontent, plopping down on the couch and crossing his arms in protest.

‘’ For how long? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know yet. Don’t be rude. ‘’

Soobin pressed on the control and the large flat TV screen lit up. You almost ticked your tongue and shook your head. Of course he was a Disney nerd.

He turned around, looking childishly excited, and came over to sit down next to you. The movie quite quickly became forgotten, serving as background noise while you and Soobin passionately fought over the snacks.

‘’ I’ll go make you kids some food. ‘’ Yeonjun said, rolling his eyes at the two of you, and leaving you and Soobin alone in the living room.

Soobin craned his neck to check that his older brother had really left before turning to you. There was something he had wanted to tell you for a long time.

‘’ Does he not like me? ‘’

He smiled knowingly and shook his head. ‘’ It’s not that, I promise. ‘’

‘’ Then…did he have a rough childhood or something? ‘’ you sarcastically joked as you didn’t like when people used that as an excuse to be rude.

‘’ Something like that. ‘’

You caught the way his tone sounded borderline uncomfortable so you cleared your throat awkwardly. ‘’ Sorry, I was just joking.

‘’ His friend got bullied when he was in middle school. I’m sure he just feels a bit- well, vulnerable around you. ‘’ 

You weren’t sure how to respond so you just hummed, it was your turn to feel uncomfortable as Soobin was determined to continue no matter what.

‘’ He really struggled to see him like that. There wasn’t much he could do. When he went to the principal he was shut down, told that it was just ‘ friends playing around ‘. Later he found out their parents were pretty rich though, and at least one of them was a part of the anti-bullying committee. ‘’ Soobin shook his head, sighing while a sour expression overtook his face.

‘’ If he confronted them, they wouldn’t beat him. No, they were different, almost psychos despite being kids. They would bully his friend harder instead, knowing it would push Yeonjun away from him because he wanted to protect his friend. In the end, he was lonely. Everyone he loved watched from a distance, knowing that if they intervened it would get even worse. ‘’

‘’ What happened after they graduated then? Did he never get his justice or revenge? ‘’

Soobin looked away from you, his heart felt heavy.

‘’ No. He never did. ‘’

Silence filled up the living room. Hearing that both made you feel incredibly sorry for Yeonjun and also anxious for your fate. Would it be the same as that boy? Would Soobin have to suffer the same way - by the sidelines watching helplessly just like his brother?

You raised your head, noticing he wasn’t completely finished with his heartbreaking story. He had to hurry because the rummaging in the kitchen had stopped, indicating Yeonjun was on his way back.

‘’ It had a very unhappy ending. Remember when I said I recognized the look in your eyes when you were walking to the rooftop? ‘’

Your heart sunk. ‘’ Yeah…’’ 

Did you even really want to hear the next part? 

‘’ He saw that one night. While walking home from school. So just like I did, he followed his friend to a rooftop. ‘’

‘’ He wasn’t as lucky as you were? ‘’ you filled in when he got quiet again.

He nodded, a somber look on his face.

‘’ But, he didn’t jump though. ‘’

You frowned.

‘’ What? What do you mean? ‘’

‘’ He was pushed. ‘’

This time the silence was deadly, stretching on for several minutes. On the other side of the wall, Yeonjun was leaning against it, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

‘’ Did he get justice?

‘’ No. Of course not. The rich and powerful always get away with it. Yeonjun went to the police station but when they arrived, a bunch of black cars were already there. Took about ten minutes of inspecting before they concluded it was a suicide. ‘’

You felt nauseous. 

‘’ Did he…did he see who pushed him? ‘’

‘’ Yeah, it was them of course. The worst out of them all did it, and while they all freaked out, he barely flinched. As a solution, they were transferred to different schools in Seoul and it was swept under the rug. Even if Yeonjun wanted to get revenge, it would be almost impossible to find them. ‘’

‘’ Fuck, that’s heavy. ‘’ you leaned back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling, taking in everything that had been said.

‘’ I think the worst part is that nobody believed him. ‘’ you turned and saw that he was crying now, his knuckles were rubbed due to the rage he felt on the inside.

Breathlessly you watched him. You hadn’t seen Soobin like this yet.

‘’ What do you mean? ‘’ you softly whispered and tried to reach out for him.

He let you take his hand, and you rubbed his knuckles instead, but in a more calming and loving manner.

‘’ Since those fuckers cleaned it up neatly, his parents fought a lot about it. When he told them, crying out and looking for support, his mom didn’t believe him, but his dad did. So they got divorced. Then, his dad met my mom. ‘’ 

He ruffled his hair and scoffed. ‘’ Turns out his dad didn’t really believe him either after all. One night he got drunk and confessed he had an affair and just wanted a reason for divorce. ‘’

Your other hand wrapped around his shoulder.

‘’ But you believed him. ‘’

Soobin nodded. The endless tears had started to stain his shirt.

‘’ Of course I did. He’s my brother. ‘’ he mumbled, pain coloring his voice.

‘’ Is that…why you were so quick to help me? ‘’

‘’ I thought that if I couldn’t help him then, well…’’

Struggling to find the words, you filled in for him. ‘’ Then you could help others, to prevent it from happening again? ‘’

He grimaced. ‘’ I haven’t been successful so far. People don’t really believe in me. ‘’

You felt his words sting. It hit a little too close to home and you found yourself feeling guilty for doubting him like everyone else had.

‘’ I’m sorry. ‘’

Soobin let out an airy laugh, knowing what you were thinking of.

‘’ Don’t apologize, you let me in the end, didn’t you? ‘’

You smiled shyly. ‘’ Yeah. I guess so. ‘’

He smiled too, warmth spreading all over his face. But it faded quite suddenly as he had to look away. Why was his heart beating so fast?

-

-

I can't tag some of u and idk why tumblr is being a bitch??? does anyone know how I can fix this??)

taglist; @peaceout97, @ayadikreino, @beoms-sugar, @keikeu, @sunghoonnsupremacy, @lilyalone, @roses-and-blue-perennial-salvia, @eunchaesmileyface, @nunugget, @seunns, @nshmrarki, @huening-ly

[hyperfixingfr]

KNDBRAINROT (NOW GOING BY PENCILHOLDERSILLY) DID *NOT* WRITE THIS APOLOGY THEMSELVES. THIS IS COPY AND PASTED FROM SOMEONE WHO WAS TRYING TO GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF HOW TO APOLOGIZE IN DMS WITH THEM! DO NOT FALL FOR THEIR LAZY EXCUSES. KNDBRAINROT DOESN'T WANT TO APOLOGIZE HONESTLY AND THIS IS PROOF FOR ANYONE WHO DIDN'T BELIEVE ME LOL.

It's so obvious because they don't even speak like this. The way they make a poll that says "will you forgive me" is so gross. They aren't taking this seriously and they never did.

[c-t-r-l14]

Let me just start off saying that I think you're the most constructive thinker when it comes to Alex. When they first broke off, Gremlin faced most of the hate, and now it's shifted mostly on to him. If you've ever listened to Redacted, it reminds me of the Geordi and Cutie debacle.

Seeing that it doesn't seem like Alex's storyline is ending anytime soon, I do hope that the Fandom will be able to see the nuances of their revival. I do hope that if we get a therapy-centered audio, Alex will be able to expand upon just how much he brushed Gremiln off in their break up vid and almost intentionally put them on the back-burner. Gremlin was the last to know about NY, and it's understandable if they feel guilty about him no longer taking the gig. I, along with those who still have Alex in some favor, just want to see some truth and honesty without others placing full blame on either party.

Anyways, sorry for the long ask. Ever since Luca has "died down," Alex has been my #1 since his photoshoot audios, and I had to talk about it somewhere. On one hand, I won with him coming back, but I am royally screwed if his ending is based on a poll, lol. I look forward to more commentary from you.

One of the biggest reasons why I started making these rants in the first place is actually something I could describe in one word: fairness.

And I say this because the way Alex treated Gremlin during the break up was not fair. The way the fandom treated Gremlin the first few months after the break up audio dropped wasn’t fair either. It seemed like they were placing all the blame on them, and while it is partly their fault—it seemed like people didn’t exactly realize how truly messed up the way he handled the break up was. And I will never forget those first few months. One of the biggest reasons why I started these rants was to make people see that Alex was wrong in this, too—and the way that only one party was being blamed was not fair.

With time, the hate for Gremlin died down, and that’s when people really started to question Alex’s integrity throughout all this. And one of the biggest reasons why I think that was because people let the audio marinate, and really started to closely analyze Alex’s behavior—and give it some thought. That was the thing—the fandom had time to see the mistakes that Alex made, and I honestly feel like that’s really what the fandom needs right now—time. I feel like they really need time to settle down and look at both sides, the break up, and the faults that lies between both of them. Both of them did something wrong, and both of them aren’t free from criticism. In the audio, it’s very clear that Alex has made much progress with the way he tried to understand Gremlin’s mindset when they made the cheating accusations—and he made sure to apologize for that. He made sure that they knew that this wasn’t entirely their fault—he literally said it in the audio. He apologized for the some of the things he said. And yes, while there is some more accountability that he needs to take, it seems like people are looking at the things he didn’t do rather than the things he did do. He this time, didn’t make excuses, nor gaslight, and I certainly don’t see anything of the guilt tripping people are talking about. He does recognize some of the things he did, and is willing to try to work things out—all of these traits he showed in this audio was a far cry from the way he acted during the break up audio. I think before Saku puts up the poll—he should give the fandom a chance to calm down and see the nuances in their relationship. Although I do understand why people still hate him, I feel like they’re not seeing the progress Alex is trying to make. I find it kind of uncanny. They seem to be blind to his progress, just as they were initially blind to his mistakes.

And that isn’t fair, either.

I honestly was thinking about a therapy centered audio, too. Even though some of the problems were addressed, not all of them were—and I want them both to tackle that in therapy.

Thank you kindly for the ask, Anon! ❤️