#was going to do a drawing for today but did this instead

[thecurioustale]

My New Book Is Out! | Tokens of Zeal

My new book is out!

Buy it! Buy it now!

That's right: In secret, on January 2 of this year I began writing a book of essays. Some of you may know that I have an online journal, which I created in the summer of 2003 when I was just 21 years old and have kept up with ever since. For my new book I went back to the journal and read through it, entry by entry, drawing out excerpts of interest that became conversation pieces for 81 various and sundry essays reflecting on my past life and past thoughts.

The essays are short, often very short. They are less challenging than my usual writing, I would say. My purpose was not to advance my personal frontier of philosophy and intellectual thought in 2024, or to reach a niche audience of deep thinkers, but instead to reflect sincerely on some things I've seen along the way and muse upon how my thoughts have changed and stayed the same over twenty years.

I mention this to you because I am a bit worried that anyone who reads this book might think there's not much to me as an author, and might be dissuaded from reading my works of fiction when those books eventually come out, so I'll lampshade that by adding that I wrote this book in two-and-a-half months. Make of that what you will. I told myself I wouldn't self-sabotage the book by needlessly saying negative things about it, and I am proud of it, not only the fact that I finished it at all, let alone so quickly, but of the actual contents too.

This book is "Volume 1" in a hypothetical series, as it doesn't cover the entire twenty years of the journal but only the first four months, from August to November of 2003—at which point the essays had reached "book length" (lol). So really this book is a snapshot of my life in the latter half of 2003. At that time, I was fading out of college due to financial hardship and other issues, and did not realize that I would never (as yet) return.

I have been wanting for years to go back and reread my journal, and writing a book out of it was the perfect impetus to finally do it. I think a few things stand out about the Josh of 2023:

First, my principles have remained remarkably consistent, but my awareness and understanding of the world has grown drastically, and so those same principles have led me over time to some different policy views and worldviews on some things.

Second, I was a 21-year-old arrogant block of cheese, full of hormones and self-conviction, and that definitely shows up at times in ways that I simultaneously am not proud of and yet which I admire for their sheer gall. There is something very magnetic about the old me which doesn't exist anymore.

Third, following up on that point, it was pretty inspiring and encouraging to revisit the old me, with all that native optimism and drive. I don't express those qualities anymore because life has worn me down and also because I have come to recognize that humanity's problems are a lot more stubborn and irremediable than I thought. By glimpsing into the past, I couldn't help but be cheered on by the old Josh's proud, utopian sense of human inevitability. It lifted my own spirits in the here and now!

I made the mistake of announcing the book on Patreon right after I finished writing it, i.e. back in mid-March. Then I had to wring my hands every week about how post-production was taking longer than expected. Between the irritating realities of formatting a book in software not properly equipped to format a book (never write a book in Google Docs), the complexities of my detail-oriented manner and strong vision regarding the cover design (and engaging for the first time ever with modern generative AI, and having to learn those ropes), and sustaining illnesses and other life priorities and so on, it would take me another two months in all to finally reach today, where I can now publicly declare:

The book is done! It is for sale right now. It is called:

Tokens of Zeal: Words from a Vanished Age

(Caption: Book front cover of Tokens of Zeal: Words from a Vanished Age, by Joshua Calars.)

You can buy it through Amazon in either paperback or e-book format. (I recommend the paperback version for aesthetics as it is much truer to my design vision for the book's layout and appearance, but my profit margin is actually a dollar bigger with the e-book version, so really just go with whichever version you prefer.) It is available in the US as well as in basically all the other countries that Amazon has expanded its publishing service into. If you need help finding a link to a particular version, give me a ping and I will point you there (if there is a "there" to be pointed to). This is my second published book, following Prelude to After The Hero in 2015, and the first book to be published in print.

If you do read it, first of all thank you! It's an honor that you would take the time. Second of all, I would love any feedback you care to offer. That's not a platitude either; feedback is hard to come by and I really would be interested in anything you have to say, good or bad. You can e-mail me, DM, reblog this, drop an ask, or tag me in an independent post. Whatever you like! Feedback will help me greatly when I eventually get around to writing Volume 2. And feel free to leave a review on Amazon, whether good or bad (though hopefully you enjoy the book); I am told it pleases The Algorithm. But most of all, if you enjoy the book, tell someone about it! Your word-of-mouth is currently 100 percent of my advertising budget, lol.

That's all. I wrote a book; it took four-and-a-half-months; it's done now; and it's the first time I've ever gotten to hold a book that I wrote in my hands as a physical thing, and that's pretty neat.

[little-cereal-draws]

The Blue Beta Fish Bronco (MKtober day one)

“Noooo,” Steven whined, watching through the reflection on the fish tank as Jake dumped a blue beta fish into it. “You can’t put him in there, Jake, he’ll kill Gus!”

“And Gus Two,” Marc added helpfully.

“Right. Yeah. And Gus Two,” Steven said, dragging his hands down his face.

It had been less than a month since they had had gotten back from Cairo and they were still learning how to get along with their new head mate who had revealed himself shortly after. At first Steven was thrilled to have another friend, Marc less so, but it turns out trying to live three lives is even more complicated than two. Steven didn’t know why he expected it to go smoothly; things were rough with Marc at first so why would this be any different?

Jake was very prominent in their lives now. He left his clothes all over the floor, left the volume on the speakers too loud, and needed to be included in everything Marc and Steven did. It annoyed them but they both felt bad for leaving him behind in the Duat and missing all the obvious signs of his existence, so they let it happen. They owed him this, at least. But now he had gone a put a beta fish in with Steven’s (and technically Marc’s) fish.

“That little blue devil will kill them, Jake. Please put him somewhere else,” Steven begged.

“No, it’s ok, it’s ok.” Jake held out his hands placatingly. “I did research on it, amigo. I would never just dump a predatory fish in with these little weak ones. He might bully them a little bit, but he would never hurt them. The internet said they can share the same space and even eat the same food, so it's all good, hombre, no need to freak out."

"I- I am not freaking out, I just want to make sure Gus is safe."

"And Gus Two," Marc chimed in.

"Right. Yeah. And Gus Two. GodIhatethatname," Steven mumbled.

Marc's brows furrowed. "Are you sure you don't want to rename him, Steven?"

Steven let out a long breath. "No, no, he's your fish so you get to decide his name, not me. Even if your name is totally copying my name. And you're dumping new fish in my tank. Everyone gets a fish they name themselves. Fantastic."

"You'll see," Jake said smiling at Steven, "they'll be best friends before you know it."

The three of them looked at the fish. The two goldfish bumbled up to the beta, examining their new brightly colored roommate. The beta stared at them for a second before nipping them on their faces, sending them zooming for cover. Or Gus Two at least. Gus was having some trouble.

"FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, JAKE! HE'S ONLY GOT ONE FIN! GET HIM OUT OF THERE!" Steven bellowed.

"Ok, ok, I'm going, I'm going!" Jake snatched up the net and started trying to scoop the beta fish out of the tank, still reeling from Steven's sudden outburst. He didn't realize Steven even could get that loud.

After much yelling and chaos, the blue beta finally got transferred to a cereal bowl full of water. He glared angrily up at Jake, not appreciating getting pulled from his new big tank, swung around in the air a bunch as Jake frantically screamed and looked for a place to put him, and then put in a stupid cereal bowl. Jake smiled apologetically but dropped it when its glare persisted.

"Don't be putting new fish in my tank alright, mate??? That tank is mine, not yours!!! You don't get to touch it!" Steven crossed his arms on the window of the microwave. If looks could kill...

Jake looked at Steven with wide eyes for a second before hanging his head, mumbling, "Lo siento. I... I didn't mean to make you upset."

A heavy silence hung in the room. Marc looked back and forth between the two of them, not knowing what was going to happen. He had anticipated some butting heads between him and Jake, being as stubborn and hot headed as they both were, but never expected Steven to get in on it. Jake looked genuinely upset that he had made Steven angry. Marc had to do something.

"Um, ok. Well, we can get a fishbowl and put the new fish... uh..." he looked around for some flat surface that wasn't covered in books or maps. "Um... over there! On that little end table! We might have to move some stuff... but it's doable! ...I think."

"No, no, it's ok. I'll take it back," Jake said, slowly moving to gather up all the new stuff he got from the pet store. Mealworm treats, lots of plastic plants, and a hide that was shaped like a Ferrari, among other things. He looked heartbroken.

Steven's scowl fell. "Jake? Mate? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled like that. I was just worried about Gus- and Gus Two," he added when he saw Marc about to pipe up, "and I just didn't want anything bad to happen to them, yeah? Keep your fish. He's very pretty. Does he have a name yet?"

Jake paused for a moment, debating on if he should tell him, before whispering, "Bronco."

"Bronco," Steven echoed. "That's a good name. At least someone is creative." He cast a glance at Marc.

"What?? Gus Two is a perfectly fine name!" He threw his hands in the air.

"We'll get a new tank, Jake, a smaller one, and put Bronco in that. We can even find some space -somewhere- next to the big tank so he can be with his friends. That seems like a good solution. Everyone's happy, yeah?"

Jake paused, arms still full of his new fish equipment, before dumping it back on the table. "Yeah. That sounds good."

Steven let out a sigh of relief and smiled. "Alright then! Let's find a place for him!"

"Literally, I think the only space is on that table," Marc offered.

"Not helpful, Marc. He's going to be by his friends," Steven chided.

"If we take this bookshelf out-" Jake started.

"Ok, that's a hard no"

[vanwizard]

okay i will admit i enjoyed these three in the like. one scene they were actually all on screen together.

sofia voice shut up and get the fuck out goncharov, i’m gonna fuck your wife now.

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: a digital drawing of Hunter and Willow from the owl house based on the "lesbians doing makeup" meme. Hunter is lying beneath Willow, who straddles him while doing his makeup. He looks at her somewhat dazed and she looks at him fondly. the background is a mid-tone blue. End ID]

This is what they are. To me

[spamtoon]

i would take their poison

Sketch + Line Art for those Clicking Under the Cut(tm) (archival purposes honestly)

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: February 23

“Inkpot Gods” by The Amazing Devil

[newspecies]

hit one-two combo of being extremely discouraged about my character designs and being inclined to sit around and feel terrible in my room while doing nothing

[askthekirbysquad]

"Meta Kniiiiight!!!" Kirby whined, batting at the older puffball with his fists as he leaned against him. "Just let me wiiiiiiiin!"

Meta Knight raised an eyebrow, unbothered by the other's 'attacks'. "And allow you to split yet another one of my masks in half?" He chuckled. "I'm afraid not, Kirby."

The swordsman had already learned that lesson twice by now, after going a little easier on his student and paying the price for it. At this point, with his stash of spare masks dwindling in order to truly challenge Kirby's abilities, he had no intentions of going anything less than all-out.

"You will not get any stronger if you only ever fight against weak foes."

"But it's haaaaard!" Kirby pouted, sinking to the floor. Though he may have been Dream Land's hero and had saved both it and the wider universe on several occasions, Kirby was still a child, and clearly, not one who appreciated losing several times over. "This dumb samurai stuff is different from our usual training!! I can fight really good when it's a normal battle. But this is just waiting... And waiting... And more waiting..." He yawned. Even just talking about all the waiting he had to do was making him tired. "And then when I can actually fight without getting in trouble, I've gotta be really really fast, because I lose if you hit me even once! I don't like it."

"What if you someday face a foe capable of defeating you in one blow?" Given the exceedingly powerful threats Kirby had faced in recent times, such an opponent was not entirely out of the question. So, it was important that, as his mentor, Meta Knight prepared him for the situation before it could arise. "It may be more wise to dodge rather than strike first in such a scenario, that is true, but the point of this exercise is to train your reaction time. Being able to react quickly and intelligently to anything your opponent may throw at you in the heat of battle is a vital skill to learn."

Kirby merely grumbled in response, absentmindedly wondering if there was any copy ability he could use to melt further into the ground. Maybe Meta Knight's lecture made just a teensy tiny little bit of sense, but it didn't make him any less frustrated by the new training regimen.

Meta Knight sighed at the young puff's antics, and produced the Maxim Tomato he had kept safely tucked within his cape. They had been training for a while now, he supposed, and it was good to have small rests every now and then between sessions. ...Even if that was something he himself was notoriously bad at incorporating into his own training. Luckily for the swordsman, Kirby immediately perked up upon seeing his favourite food.

"You will get better with practice, I am sure." Meta Knight said. "You are already quite skilled at spooking Dedede with that party popper, I must say." Handing Kirby the tomato, he added, "Take a break for now, however, and let me know when you are prepared to resume our training."

"Mm-hm! Thank you, Meta Knight!" Kirby gleefully responded, his sour mood forgotten as he held the precious Maxim Tomato in his hands. Good food made everything better! The new type of training was still dumb, in his opinion, and it was gonna be hard to beat Meta Knight with all those extra rules in place, but thanks to his snack, he had a feeling that he could do it!!

...Meanwhile, in the distance and out of sight of the unsuspecting duo, Magolor snickered to himself as he prepared his legion of mini Scarcutter attacks. It was wonderful to see his friends enjoying the theme park he created, and while he did have some Park Manager work to attend to... Well, who's to say he couldn't have his own fun in Merry Magoland's attractions?

[silvensei]

Had a fantastic fic-writing experience when my brother visited

[groovylittleclown]

I struggle with drawing, I can't seem to visualize what I want to make, and I can never seem to flow with it like other people can.

I still like it!! It's very fun whenever I do draw! I mainly draw my persona, because that's easy for me. My little frog is something that I have quite a lot of fun drawing! I do feel a bit bad I can't seem to get anything else super well, but I also haven't been practicing.

Anyway, this was a very long winded way to say I did a draw!!

I was in the mood to just doodle, but I didn't know what to draw! So I turned to my frog and my interests as of late! I've been wickedly addicted to space for the past few weeks! I downloaded 16 astronaut skins on Minecraft and just gave them all different names and personalities. And I've been staring at my little alien project.

Blah blah space infodump, blah blah deep meaningful drawing meaning, blah blah bedtime. Hehehe!!

Edit with the version I like more:

[vagante-do-abismo]

Goretober day 3: abandoned bones

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

yeah yeah times new roman is the standard or whatever but have you ever considered that serif fonts suck and should be illegal wherever i am forever with no exceptions?

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

i went for a walk, didn’t take anything except a water bottle, i saw a cute little snake, i almost got attacked by a wasp, i went down a very steep hill to a creek, took my shoes and socks off, splashed my feet around, got attacked by a million mosquitoes, went back to the trail, found an area with some warm sand, stopped to play in it for a little while, watched the bright blue sky and beautiful clouds on the way back home, ran a little bit

today i lived

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[micahthemoon]

Things I did today #66 April 5 2024

Practiced for choir

Drew some fanart

Did my laundry

[vse-kar-vem]

hihi vent post incoming (tldr im pretty sure everyone hates me and also im gonna fail all my exams)