#was the 20 dollars worth it asshole?

[snekdood]

im far more concerned about people stealing things that matter to me a lot that they for some reason think they deserve more than of them stealing fucking. money. and its alll bc i grew up with literally a connected closet with my sister who would steal shit from me all the time. you dont understand how frustrating it is to grow up in a house where the most basic form of ‘love’ shown was giving you items and then those items being the only symbol of love you have and then someone just fucking. take it like its theirs and they deserve it for some reason. this is why if you’ve ever stolen stuffed animals from me you need to go fuck yourself immediately. literally my villain arc.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for calling security on a black woman which led to the police getting called?

Hi everyone before you jump straight to the poll to say YTA and say that I am racist for this, let me explain the situation.

I work retail, so I am at the cash register a lot. One day this black woman I'll call C for this post, came to the register to buy about $500 worth of toys for her kid's birthday. He was there with her. I had asked if she wanted to pay in card or cash, and she wanted to pay in cash. She handed my $500 in 20 dollar bills. As per my job, I decided to check each bill to make sure they were real. I do that for every customer. But C got upset because she was in a rush and needed to get home for her kid's party so she asked that I just ring her up for it. Instead, I took out the pen used to check for fake bills and swiped it across each one. This caused a tear in the bills indicating that they were fake.

I told her that I needed to speak to security first and took the basket of toys behind the counter where she couldn't reach. C got angry about that because it was making her kid cry. Security came over and checked each bill and then went into their office and called the police. C had been taken into the security room and cuffed to the bench there until the police arrived. The whole time, the kid cried.

Other customers were upset about that happening, and one other woman said it was an asshole move to get C arrested on her kids birthday. But if I accepted the bills, it could have cost me my job. It wasn't like I did anything wrong for checking.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[alextextbook]

Quotes I’ve Heard/Said pt. 2

Leo: We’ve got a request from the peanut gallery up front.

Percy holding an otter plushie.

Percy: Seems like someone was in otter space.

Reyna: How are you guys today?

Lavinia: Delusional.

Reyna: it’s okay. a little delulu is the solulu.

Alex: I’m just built different.

Lester/Nico: I’m just built stupid.

Sadie: Honey Nut Chereos are JUST sawdust.

Alex: You look like an among us

Carter: Honey Nut Cheereos are just Bagel Seeds.

Sadie: Have you ever had nut less cheerios?

Piper: Lucky Charms are just the gay version of cheerios.

Nico: No, fruit loops are the gay version of cheerios. they have fruit in the name.

Magnus: Whoa, I think I just saw your tonsils.

Alex: Why is your tape special when it shouldn’t be?

Apollo: (to an ex) This is why we divorced.

Daedalus: I’m not good at numbers.

13 y/o Annabeth: But you’re a math teacher!

Dionysus: He doesn’t bite you, I promise. If he does I’ll turn him into a dolphin.

Nico: He rescued a hellhound and named her Mrs. O’Leary.

Clarrisse: Ugliest dog ever.

Alex: Being gay is my canon event. All the Alexs in every universe are gay.

Alex: So it’s like if ghosts had periods.

The Lightning Thief Time

Annabeth: Tomato is a fruit.

Percy: Vegetable.

Annabeth pokes Percy with her dagger

Grover: Hey! He’s going on a quest!

Annabeth looks at Percy

Annabeth: Go kill your-

Magnus: Kindnesses is matters.

Piper: It’s serving grunt.

Lester: It was my y/n moment.

Will: First of all, cringe. Second of all, red flag.

Will: Your back doesn’t hurt, you’re sixteen years old.

Apollo: I have something to say. Gay people are real.

Lavinia: WHAT? I exist?

Coach Hedge: I know I shouldn’t have smoked it from a lion’s asshole.

Halfborn: Alex, it’s so funny that you can’t read my handwriting.

Alex: Are you going to be a doctor?

Kayla: My shoulder rest is not resting shoulderly.

Will: If you stab your teacher I’m taking away participation points.

Alex: Saw dust? It’s girl dinner.

Cyclops: I’m pescatarian but I still eat people.

Leo: (Using a screwdriver) Synchronized screwing.

Percy: I don’t think I’ve looked at your neck today. It looks nice.

Magnus: What’d the musician tell the other musician? Ciello-ut.

Nico: I’m older, gayer, and wiser than you.

Hazel: OOO! I cracked all my knuckles! I’m gonna get arthritis.

Frank: I have a hard head because I was hit a lot.

Nico: It’s okay. I’m aged… but I’m not dead

Calypso: no man deserves two balls

Nico: I’m worth 19 dollars.

Will: I think you’re worth more.

Nico: … 20?

[rtothe3rd]

Being a girl;

I don’t like the “pick me” misogynist idea that stereotypically “feminine” things are inherently negative or shameful and can’t overlap with “masculine” ideas or qualities, and I hate how toxic and sexist and pro-ED the embracing femininity communities (coquette girlblogging) can be, as if being a woman is made of suffering and a woman's body is a vessel for misogyny in thin, white, childlike standards of beauty. Fuck it all; I do love the color pink and wearing lip gloss and buying clothes and Lana Del Rey and sometimes I even look at my horoscope and I use copious amounts of hairspray, but I want to be a lawyer when I’m grown up and and I swear like a sailor and I’m an honors student and my favorite thing to talk about is politics and I’ll debate anything that breathes, and I try not to equate my worth (or anybody else's) with the number of inches around my waist. How can’t those two things coexist? Why can't I put Taylor Swift's album drop and the senate midterms on my calendar? Why can't my walls be plastered with photo strips and artsy postcards alongside my 4 framed speech awards? Why can't I fantasize about being in love and also about kicking a nazi in the face? I'm a female; therefore everything I do is feminine, no matter what people say. I want to celebrate and RECLAIM femininity for myself and for womankind, not for the male gaze. Coquette pro ED and pick-me-choose-me-love-me subcultures have one major thing in common: catering to men and men in particular. The day that we as women stop hating ourselves is the day we stop feeding into a school of thought that fuels a multibillion dollar industry that creates and profits off our insecurities. If you're gonna wear makeup, wear it for you. If you're gonna change your weight, do it for your physical and mental health. If you're gonna get plastic surgery, understand why. Why you've always wanted bigger/smaller breasts, a bigger/smaller butt, a flatter stomach, a smoother face. Girls, don't feel rushed to go through puberty, but when you do, celebrate that you're maturing and changing. The stretch marks are healthy. Your breasts don't need to be any bigger or smaller to serve their purpose, whether that is to feed children or just exist. The blood is not filthy, it's a sign of health. Yeah, I know it sucks, but don't let anybody make you feel bad. Those asshole boys wouldn't exist if their moms never menstruated. And to women MY mom's age, you don't need to starve yourself to achieve what filthy pigs tell you you should look like after carrying and delivering a pregnancy for 9 months. You don't need to be as thin as you were at 20, this is supposed to happen. You don't need to inject toxins into your face to make it look like you've never smiled or seen the sun. You don't need to be ashamed of living and aging naturally, aging is healthy, you are supposed to get older. When was the last time you heard a a man your age complain about lines on his skin or 5 extra pounds? When was the last time you saw a male celebrity's stomach rolls or cellulite blown up on a tabloid cover and picked apart by the whole world? when was the last time you witnessed a man reduced to his appearance? why do WE owe beauty to the world, a world where our bodily autonomy is in jeopardy? Why are we only beautiful when we're weak and starving and cold, where we're miserable and tired and hurting, when we're manipulated and injected and stuffed and exploited and profited off of and sexualized and traumatized and forced? forced to perform and change and carry a child? Men will pay to see videos of naked women seducing them and turn right back around and advocate for our disenfranchisement. Men have been taught that they have the authority to reduce us, shrink us down to sex symbols and forget our humanity, and these men do what they want and make millions and get elected to America's highest offices and win grammies.

If you're a woman and you're reading this, you do not owe a man's perception of you to anybody. Every time a grown man online treats me like I'm stupid; every time a boy taunts me about Andrew Tate; every time another woman acts like politics are inconsequential; every time I remember an 80 year old man making obscene gestures to me on the street; every time I read a school dress code implying that my body is inherently pornographic; every time another pig is elected to our government; every time our trans sisters are oppressed and excluded by other women, the fire grows. soon it will consume me.

[autolenaphilia]

I kinda cursed myself by getting into Diablo, which I've written about before. Because Activision-Blizzard is a terrible company. They are horrible towards their employees first and foremost, and have been for decades. Especially their women workers, who have made credible allegations of a culture of misogyny. They have had a massive lawsuit about this in the 2020s but even Diablo II was made using horrible crunch back in the late 1990s.

Their treatment of their customers is of course a far lesser evil, they have just been assholes to them. Still just looking at the Diablo series, there are examples of pretty much all the bad practices triple-a game studios towards customers have made in the last 20 years.

Diablo III is infamously one of the first notable examples of always-online DRM, despite the game having a single-player campaign. Now the game servers have stayed up a remarkably long time for Diablo III, because it was widely succesful (the fourth best-selling pc game of all time according to wikipedia with 20 million copies sold). But requiring a central server to play will mean the game will eventually die when the server is shut down. And not “die” in the sense that you can’t buy it anymore or can’t play multiplayer, it will die in the sense that you can’t ever play it at all anymore. This is despite the game having a substantial single-player campaign. This is a terrible practice for game preservation and I encourage you to join this campaign against it.

And Diablo III also had a foretaste of the predatory monetization to come, with the infamous real money auction house, that was so bad that it got shut down by Blizzard after a few years. But it was just a prologue to what would come with the next major installment: Diablo Immortal.

Immortal is a mobile game that became a meme right from its announcement. That was because the announcement that it would be mobile-only was greeted with boos at Blizzcon. And we should keep in mind that Blizzcon is a convention just for Blizzard games that cost 199 dollars to attend at the time (now it costs 299 dollars), so a very receptive audience to Blizzard’s bullshit, and Blizzard still got deservedly booed.

And then the actual game released, and it had such predatory monetization that it got nicknamed Diablo Immoral. I use the site macrotransactions.org, which grades games according to the presence of predatory monetization and they gave Diablo: Immortal a well-deserved F.

And this trend has only continued with the recent Diablo IV, which is again always-online and has predatory microtransactions.

Not that Diablo II is free from Blizzard bullshit. Both the original and remastered versions of Diablo II can only be bought from Blizzard’s own website, which I wouldn’t begrudge them if they didn’t also have DRM.

The installer for the original Diablo II only requires a key code you either got from the CD or e-mailed to you when you purchased it digitally. So not so bad. The original Diablo II however kinda shows its age and has always been a janky game, despite patches it still has serious bugs like the lying character screen. And the game shows its ages otherwise, despite the excellent art design, the game is also resolution locked to 800 x 600, and that’s only after you install the expansion. And the base game plus expansion still costs 20 dollars, despite being more than 20 years old and not properly patched.

It’s the kind of game that deserves a remaster. And Blizzard thought the same and released a remastered version in 2021, Diablo II: Resurrected that attempts to fix these issues. But the catch is that it also upped the DRM, this time the game requires you to “check in” online at least every 30 days, so the remastered game is just as doomed as III and IV when the servers shut down.

You just can’t win with Activision-Blizzard. The only Diablo game that actually feels worth getting legitimately is the first Diablo, which you can buy drm-free on GOG, and reasonably cheap too when there is a sale.

And it’s not that the games are bad either. They have very talented programmers, writers and artists working for them (which they treat horribly). Diablo II despite the jankyness is a great game, a very good sequel to the excellent first game that massively expands the scope of the series in interesting ways while remaining true to the first game.

I recently watched Noah Caldwell-Gervais’s excellent franchise retrospective video on the series, and he has played all the games, and finds much to praise about even the most reviled entries of the series. Even Diablo: Immortal, despite being a mobile game with predatory monetization, is a full-fledged entry into the series, a proper meaty action RPG with lots of story content. We will actually lose something valuable when the servers are shutdown.

The problem with Blizzard is not that they make bad games. It’s just that they are an evil company, which mistreats its workers (especially the women), ruthlessly monetizes their artistic efforts, and DRMs so badly that it will eventually destroy the games entirely once they are no longer profitable.

At this rate I can at best recommend getting Diablo I from GOG when it’s cheap in a sale, anything else is too heavy with Blizzard’s nonsense to really recommend. And "gamer boycotts" are kinda worthless, so I won't call for one, but I'll admit supporting that kind of company is worth questioning.

And frankly if you want to get into action rpgs, I would recommend playing Torchlight 1 and 2 instead of getting into Diablo.The Torchlight games are very much “Diablo-clones”, spiritual successors to the older series and clearly modeled on Diablo 1 and 2. But the gameplay is so polished, with many added quality-of-life features and way less bugs than Diablo II, that they improve the player experience enough to fully justify being so derivative. And they are not made or published by Activision-Blizzard, so you can buy both of them on GOG without DRM. Torchlight deserves its own post, and there are other worthy diablo-clones out there (i’ve played a bit of Dungeon Siege and enjoyed it). The positive legacy of Diablo lives on, despite Blizzard’s best attempts to pollute it.

[holylulusworld]

In your dreams, f*cker

Title: In your dreams, f*cker

Prompt filled for @writersmonth​ – Day: 20 -  word: jealous

Square filled for @anyfandomgoesbingo​: Free Space

Rating: Mature

Summary: You just hate Lloyd Hansen.

Pairing: Llyod Hansen x fem!Reader

Warnings: language, be aware that I’m not writing canon for Lloyd, tension, stupid pet names, love-hate relationship, secrets, implied smut, Lloyd being himself

A/N: Just a short story to get into writing for Lloyd. Maybe there will be a second part.

Words: 900

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

“Why him?” you watch the nightmare of every CIA agent waltz into the conference room. “We’ve got the Sierra agents, Fitzroy. We don’t need that man. He’s losing control all the time. That man is a ticking bomb.”

“He’s useful and effective,” Carmichael tries to defend his decision to involve Lloyd fucking Hansen. “His resources and intel are the best. Now stop wasting our time. We’ve got more important things to talk about than you dislike one of our mercenaries.”

“Lloyd Hansen is an egocentric sociopath. I don’t care that he’s your special asset for undertaking your undercover missions. We can’t waste more CIA resources on him and his attitude.

“Don’t call me an asset,” Lloyd strolls toward your seat, giving you a stern look, “it’s an asshole word. So,” he claps his hand, “who’s up for some new information on our little escapist?”

“Bite me,” you bite back. “I don’t care what you got for us. We both know you only get information out of people using torture.”

“I’d bite you with pleasure, pumpkin,” he grins down at you, making you angrily ball your hands into fists. “Just not right now. This would be inappropriate, don’t you think.”

“Me ripping that stupid pornstache off your face would be much more inappropriate, don’t you think,” you mimic his tone. “You better get out of my face.”

“You better get that stick out of your tight ass,” you scrunch up your nose at his crudeness. “Or let me put something better inside.”

“Would you mind sitting down?” Fitzroy clears his throat. “We should get back to the topic. I really can’t handle more of this.” He points between you and Lloyd. “Mr. Hansen, if you would give us the information you gathered.”

“He’s such an ass,” Dani whispers in your ear as Lloyd finally plops down next to you. “Why do we even pay him? He’s nothing but a psychopath with polished shoes.”

“But my ass is iconic, pumpkin,” Lloyd grins. “And Y/N was right. I’m a sociopath. That’s a difference.”

“We will all agree, that the information Hansen gave us was useful,” Dani rolls her eyes at Carmichael’s words. “He earned his place among us. Am I right, special agent Y/L/N.”

“If you say so, Sir,” you try to act professional around Carmichael. All you want is getting out of the conference room and go home without getting yourself into trouble. “Time will tell if he’s worth the money you pay him.”

You slowly get up from your seat to grab your jacket and bag while Dani tries not to roll her eyes again. She bites her tongue and tries to swallow the bile rise in her throat. 

“Aw, pumpkin,” Lloyd stands behind you to whisper in your ear, “I’m worth every single dollar they pay me and more. You should try to be a little nicer to me. I’ll stick around to keep a close eye on your cute ass from now on.”

“Whatever,” you ram your elbow into his stomach, making him groan. “I don’t do guys in white pants wearing shoes without socks.”

“I will change your mind, Y/N,” he purrs, lips almost touching your ear. “If you ever go on a ride with Lloyd Hansen, you will never want another man.”

“In your dreams, fucker.” 

“Your loss, agent,” Lloyd sneers as you shoulder him aside to walk toward the door. “You are missing out on a grand prime-“

“This is sexual harassment, Mr. Hansen,” Dani quips. “Go ahead and I’ll tell Fitzroy about it. You may be best buddies with Carmichael, but we won’t let you harass one of our agents.”

“Aw, do you want to crawl my balls, agent Miranda?” he dips his head to give Dani a lopsided grin. “Get in line, sunshine. I have set my eyes on agent Y/L/N. After I’m done with her, you can get a taste of me…”

“I’ll pass.”

“Hello, cupcake,” Lloyd lazily props his feet on your coffee table. “Did you miss me?”

“How did you get in here?” you aim your gun at Lloyd’s head. “I asked you a question, Mr. Hansen.” You unlock the gun.

“I have missed you,” he shrugs, still not moving a muscle as you point the gun at his crotch. “It’s been almost a month since I last saw you, my sexy pumpkin.”

“Well, Carmichael tries to keep me away from any mission involving your ass,” you kick against his feet. “Feet off my table. Now tell me what you want here, Lloyd. I’m not in the mood for one of your stupid games.”

“How about you come here and sit on my lap,” he grins while patting his thigh. You drop your eyes to his thigh, licking your lips. “You know how much you love to ride me…any part of me, pumpkin. Don’t get all shy on me now.”

“This is the last time,” you secure your gun and place it on the table. “If you ever tell anyone about whatever we are doing, you are dead.” 

Lloyd leans back on the couch to watch you slowly take your dress off. He hums as he brushes his thumb over his stache. “Leave the heels on, pumpkin. I want you to ride me with your shoes on.”

“You’re a fucking pervert. Just you know, I hate that pornstache and you so much. If only your dick wasn’t so good...”

“And you are a jealous and possessive bitch,” he smirks when you shimmy out of your panties. “Now come here and get what’s yours…” Lloyd crooks his finger, knowing all too well that you will be a begging mess in a few moments...

<< Prequel

Tags in reblog.

[slasher-male-wife]

The freaks: Eddie Munson x male reader part two

Ok I want to state this now I hate slow burns and this isn’t going to be one. I don’t wanna be like 20 chapters into a 80 chapter fic just for the characters to brush hands for the tenth time already. Like come on wheres the action? I get build up but please make it worth my time. Although slow burns are written very well. Better than I can write mostly.  Also I’m sorry for the weird ending and how sucky this is I needed to post something so I felt less guilty and this is the best I got. 

Part one Part three

Summary: After reciving a flyer from Eddie you go to one of his shows. 

Warnings: Strong language, minor bullying, homophobia

You’re in study hall working on a story for English class. It’s been about a week since you’ve started to hang out with Eddie and his friends and you’re gettign worn down enough to start to have interest in dnd. The boys are sweet and really friendly, well more friendly than your other friends. Eddie, who’s also in study hall moves over to your table. You look over at him with a smile. “What’s the pleasure Eddie?” You ask. 

“Well it’s Tuesday obviously and I wanted to offer you a flyer to my show tonight,” He hands you a black and white flyer with hand drawn graphics of coffins, skeletons and other information on it, “It’s two dollars to get in if you’re interested. Last time we got like seven people to show up. Pretty bitchin huh?” You nod. 

“Totally bitchin Eddie. I’ll be sure to show up. Is there like a dress code or anything? I’ve never been to a show before.” Eddie chuckles a little. 

“Just wear something simple. Jeans and a shirt is plenty good. Might wanna bring some extra money too. For like drinks and stuff.” You nod. 

“I’ll be there.” His smile grows. 

“Great, can’t wait to see you there.” Soon after this the bell rings and you get up to leave, flyer still in hand as you walk out the door when you feel someone take it from your hands. No surprise when you turn and find Jason holding it. You roll you eyes. 

“Can I help you or something?” You ask trying to take the paper back. He just moves it away from you still looking at it. 

“That freak trying to invite you to a cult ritual or something?” He asks looking over the paper. 

“He invited me to a show of his asshole now give me back the damn paper.” You go to grab it but he moves it away again, turning his eyes to you. 

“You two fairies going on a date or something?” A humorless smile grows on his face. You know he knows about you being gay. But you know about all the illegal shit he does. So you two are in a sticky situation. You grab the flyer from him and fold it up, putting it in your pocket. 

“Why do you care? You jealous or something?” You know you shouldn’t be giving him the time of day. Jason’s always been an asshole. He scoffs and you simply walk off to your next class. You don’t get why people care so much sometimes. You know Hawkins isn’t the best place for queer people. Hell Indiana is horrible for queer people. You just thank the gods every day that you’re still safely in the closet to everyone else in this god damn town. 

Later that night you’re getting ready for Eddie’s show. You’re doing your hair while listening to Iron Maiden to get in the mood. The flyer says it starts at 7:30 so you should leave by 7. You’ve never been to the hide out before but you know it’s a bit far from passing it on your way to other places before. You walk over to your closet and try to pick out a shirt to wear to the show. Tonight is a bit cold so you’re bringing your jean jacket and wearing some jeans too. You look through your shirts and settle on a white Metallica band shirt you borrowed from your dad. You put it on along with your jacket and grab your wallet and car keys. Your car isn’t the best car out there. It’s a 79′ Ford you bought from a family friend. It needs a good amount of work but you don’t know anything about cars. It gets you from place to place good enough. 

You put your things in your pockets and walk downstairs. “I’m going out. I’ll be home by 11 or I’ll call if I’m gonna be late.” You yell to your parents. You go out to your car and start it up. You take out your map and look for The hide out. You know the route from driving that way to get to your Aunt and Uncles house. You pull out of your driveway and make your way over there. You don’t know why but you feel butterflies in your stomach. A lot of them. “Why am I so nervous. It’s just a show my friends are putting on at some bar that I’m gonna be watching.” Even after telling yourself this you still don’t feel at ease. God why do you feel this way? You try to push this feeling aside as you pull up to The hideout. 

You shut off your car and just sit there for a moment. You look at the building and back at your steering wheel. You take a deep breath and get out of your car. You pay and get the big black x on your hand before heading in. The bar lights are colored and there’s a big area for tables and another for the actual bar. You can see a small stage by the tables where you find the band setting up. You smile and make your way over to the bar, keeping an eye out for Eddie as you make your way over. You get a coke and when you turn back to face the stage you see him making his way over. You smile and walk over to him too. “Hey Y/N I’m so glad you made it.” 

“Of course man I said I’d be here. How many people usually show up to your shows?” You ask taking a sip of your coke. 

“No many really. Most we’ve ever had was like 15 I think,” He starts to play with his rings when he says this, “We’re not the like biggest band out of Hawkins you know?” 

“Don’t sell yourself short Eddie. I’m sure if you were in a bigger city more people would show up. And hey you’ve got a new regular coming to your shows now.” Eddie’s smile grows. 

“Well that’s great news. If we do ever need more help you’ll always be the first person I call. You know bands gotta move amps and stuff.” 

“Yeah of course man. Are any of the other boys here tonight?” He shakes his head. 

“Just you I’m afraid. They do wanna come it’s just you know their parents and shit.” 

“Yeah I remember being a freshman too. This one time I snuck out of my house freshman year to go to this party and I like drank way to much so when I got home I had the worst hangover ever, like I could barely get out of bed. My parents never grounded me because they said that was punishment enough.” When Eddie sees you laughing about this story he laughs along with you. 

“I remember the first time I got drunk. I can’t remember how but I woke up in the woods barefoot and I had to walk back home. My uncle was not happy about that.” 

“Well let’s make sure to never drink with each other.” 

“Agreed. Anyway I gotta go back and get ready, meet us out back after we’re done alright?” 

“Will do Eddie. You’re gonna do great.” With a really quick fist bump Eddie runs off backstage. You smile and grab a seat at a table with a good view of the stage. No many people are here like Eddie said. Probably around six people are here for the music. You keep sipping your drink as the band starts to play. You see the faces of your new friends on stage and you let out a little cheer for them. Eddie starts to play Master of puppets by Metallica and soon the rest of the band joins in. They play six more songs after this. Your favorites were called ‘rotting’ and ‘puss brain’. After a little bit more talking they start to pack up their things and you get up to join them back outside. 

However the dark lighting of the bar and you not looking where you’re going lead to you bumping into someone and getting something spilled on your shirt, from the smell you knew it was alcoholic. “Oh fuck I am so sorry man.” You apologize. 

“Hey it’s ok kid no big deal. Was only a few bucks anyway.” You look down at your now stained Metallica shirt and sigh. 

“Thank you for understanding.” You make your way to the bathroom and try your best to clean up the spill. The strong scent of alcohol still lingers after a good five minutes of cleaning your shirt, along with a tan stain. You sigh and give up on trying to clean it. You leave the bathroom and head out back where Eddie said he would be. He smiles when he finds you but quickly gets confused when he sees your shirt. 

“Hey Y/n you ok there?” He asks. 

“Yeah just go something spilled on me is all. Fucking sucks too I loved this shirt.” You notice Eddie going back to play with his rings. 

“I have a spare hellfire shirt you can use. What’s your size?” 

“Eddie you don’t have to do that I’m not too far from home I can go-” 

“Really it’s no big deal just what’s your size?” He sees a smile creep back on your face, “Really Y/n I don’t want you having to walk around with that stained shirt on. You can always return it back to me later too. Just give me your size.” You tell him your size and he makes his way to the back of his van, Gareth walking over to talk with you. 

“Hey Y/n it’s nice seeing you here. What did you think of the show?” 

“It was bitchin man. I really liked that song uh puss brain I think it was called.” 

“Sweet, tonight was a pretty good turn out. I hope we’ll see more of you at our shows.” 

“You will don’t worry. Just be sure to remember me when y’all become a big famous band one day.” Eddie comes back over, shirt in hand. 

“Here you are sir,” You take the shirt from Eddies hands looking back down at his rings, “Oh and if you want you can come back to my place to hang out. No pressure I just wanted to offer.”  

“Yeah uh I’ll call my parents inside really quick after I change. I’ll be right back.” You give Gareth one last look before heading back inside. Once the back door shuts Eddie relaxes a little and Gareth lets out a chuckle. 

“What’s so funny?” Eddie asks. 

“You like him don’t you Eddie.” He teases. 

“I do not. He’s probably not even into guys.” 

“Then why not tell him that it’s just gonna be the two of you over at your place?” Eddie shrugs. 

“ I don’t know, I don’t think he’ll mind. You know I wonder why I even came out to you.” 

“Because we’re friends and you like me.” 

“Yeah yeah whatever.” 

Back inside you’re borrowing a phone and giving your parents a call. 

“Hey mom I’m still at the hide out but I’m headed over to a friends house.... Yes I’ll be safe.... I can’t say I’ll be back that soon, if I end up staying the night I still have my book bag in my car... I know mom.... I love you too.” You hand up and head back outside, holding your shirt. Eddie’s still waiting for you there. “Alright I’m ready to go. Should I follow you or?” 

“Yeah just follow me and we’ll get there soon enough.” 

“Cool I’ll meet you there.” You walk back around and get in your car waiting for Eddie to pull around. You find his van and follow him out. 

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

Love Really Hurts Without You- Deleted Scene

Alec was pacing around the room nervously, waiting for his siblings to reach.

It was 4:07pm.

Alec had asked both of them to be here by 4.

Fucking assholes.

The door opened and Alec turned to see Izzy, Jace, Clary and Simon enter.

“Thank you for gracing me with your presence.” He rolled his eyes.

Jace patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t be a grump, Alec.”

Alec kissed Clary on the head and hugged Simon. “Why are you two here?” He said jokingly. 

Izzy smacked him across his shoulder. “You told us you had something important to tell us.”

“Exactly my point. Why is Simon here?” He whispered to Izzy and received another smack in return.

He should have seen this one coming. 

It’s not that he minded Clary or Simon being here. He was just nervous with whatever he wanted to say so he planned to talked to just Izzy and Jace first. 

But it’s fine. He had known Simon and Clary his whole life. They were as much as his siblings as the other two morons.

“Okay, now that you are here, I just—“, before he could continue, Jace interrupted him. 

“Wait, not everyone is here.”

Alec frowned at that and before he could ask, the door opened again and Raphael walked in.

“Raphael. Hey.” They all waved at him. “Okay, now why are you here?”

Raphael ignored him and went to sit on the chair. “This is my store.”

Alec wanted to hit his head with something.

Why did he think it would be a good idea to have this conversation at the Spiral Laybrinth? 

“Izzy told me and I told Raphael that you had something important to say.” Simon gleamed.

Alec threw his hands up in the air. “Anyone else coming? Did you invite the president too?”

“No. Just us.” Ragnor said as he entered the store with Cat. “Simon called us.” 

Alec sat on the chair next to Raphael and put his head on the table. 

“Can I ask why are we all summoned here? I had a hundred other important things to do.” Ragnor grumbled. 

Cat greeted Alec and spoke. “I just got off shift and I have a nice bubble bath waiting. So this better be worth it.”

Alec stood up and ran his hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. “I will get you for this.” He said pointedly at Simon.

Simon looked scared for a second.

Good.

“Okay, I just—“ he tried but fumbled.

Izzy groaned. “Come on, Alec. Just tell everyone that you’re planning to propose to Magnus.”

Alec stared at her with widened eyes. “What? Wh—how did you know?”

Raphael rolled his eyes. “Wait, that was the important news?” 

Ragnor sighed dramatically too. “I thought it was something important.” 

“It is important. I’m planning to propose, Magnus.” Alec said loudly. 

Jace groaned and threw himself on the couch. “Alec, I hate you.” He said and passed a twenty dollar bill to Simon. 

What?

Ragnor and Raphael’s eyes widen in recognition. They both muttered something under their breaths before passing twenty dollars bill each to Simon too.

“What the fuck is happening?” Alec almost squealed.

Simon took out all the dollar bills and put them in his wallet delightedly. 

“We all just lost 20 dollars to Simon. We had bets on when you were going to propose.”

Izzy grumbled. “I thought you would have done it after the first deployment.”

“I had my bets after the second one but you had to fucking fake-die for eight months, Lightwood.” Ragnor complained.

“I didn’t fake die. I was captured.” When did he become friends with this bunch of weirdos? 

“I expected better from you, Alec. I thought you would do it when Magnus released an entire album about you.” Cat said with a grin.

“I was deployed that time.” 

Izzy patted his shoulder. “Excuses brother.”

“You all are assholes.“ Alec announced but he couldn’t help but laugh at their absurdity. 

“And what are you moaning about? When did you have your bets on?” He hit Jace’s thigh with his foot.

“The first time Magnus fucked the living daylights out of you.” Jace mumbled.

Alec kicked him again. 

“What?” Jace muttered. “Don’t act as if you haven’t wanted to have the mans babies since week 2.”

Okay.

Jace was kinda right.

But Alec wasn’t going to agree to that infront of other people.

Or even to himself alone in a room.

“Shut up.” He showed the finger to his brother like the mature grown up he was. 

He turned towards Ragnor, Raphael and Cat once. “I’m proposing to Magnus.” He said seriously this time but it was impossible to contain the happiness in his voice. 

Cat came over and gave him a hug while Ragnor and Raphael nodded at him.

He knew he didn’t needed anyone’s permission to do this, but, it felt nice to know that even Magnus’s family had bets on them. 

That he had their approval too. 

He returned a soft smile. 

Clary squeaked as if she suddenly realised that this was real and hugged Alec tightly. “Alec, congratulations. I’m so happy for you.” 

Alec chuckled at her. “He hasn’t said yes yet.”

Jace finally stood up, done with his dramatics and wrapped his arms around Alec in a hug that all his strength would have taken to get out of.

He didn’t want to get out of it anyways. 

He finally had everything he ever wanted; even if things had been hard for them in the past few months.

Magnus was two months sober now. He was getting better. They were happy. 

And now, Alec was going to propose to Magnus and he will finally be able to call him his husband. 

“Okay, who is joining me for ring shopping?” 

-This is an advance apology for all the angst in the next chapter. See you soon homies

[andguesswhat]

Diary of a mall Santa Claus

14

Theft Day

* "What the hell??? Where's my jacket???" Timmy searches in panic through his backpack, "And my...! Someone stole all my money out of my wallet! And my jacket is gone!" During the shift, someone apparently broke into Timmy's locker. Armie wished it had been his. The shop assistant is nice and understanding, but in the end she can't help much. Especially not right now. Completely frustrated, Armie and Timmy step out of the mall and Timmy immediately begins to freeze. Armie takes off his jacket and gives it to Timmy, who accepts it gratefully, but he wishes he could do more. For instance find this asshole and pull his ears out so he could have some elf ears for life. "What about you?" Timmy looks at Armie. Armie shrugs his shoulders. "I'm not cold." "Wrong world, huh? You more or less only know warm temperatures, you should be cold." Armie shrugs again and smiles slightly. He still doesn't know how to help Timmy. And wishes he could. Timmy points to the watch Armie is wearing. "Wow, is that real? I mean, if it is, it's weird to have one of those and still have money problems so you have to work at a mall as Santa, isn’t it?" Armie muses. "I never thought of that before... But when you're right, you're right." He pulls out his cell phone and looks for the nearest pawn shop. "Come on..." he says, pulling Timmy along with him, shortly afterwards into a cab, and 20 minutes later he's sold his watch and is a rich man. Why didn't he think of this before? Well, actually he is very glad that he didn't think of it earlier, because otherwise he wouldn't have met Timmy. And he doesn't want to think about that for too long.  Timmy seems a little intimidated since they were at the pawn shop, he hasn't said much, probably feels guilty about giving Armie that terrific idea, but Armie is busy anyway. Again he searches his phone until he finds what he's looking for. "Ok, come on, let's get you a new jacket." Again he pulls Timmy along with him, who tries desperately to keep up with Armie's pace, until they're in front of a fancy store.  The saleswoman is about to close the store, but Armie knocks on the front door and gives his most charming smile. "What are we doing here?" whispers Timmy behind him. "This is way too expensive for me, I can't afford it, Armie." "You don't have to," Armie simply cuts off Timmy's concern. The lady comes to the door, opens it and smiles, "Sorry, we're just closing." "Yes, I know, but please, someone stole this young man's jacket and it's freezing." He hands her a fifty dollar bill. The lady looks at them both, her smile widens and she opens the door without taking the bill. "No need for that." Armie and Timmy enter the small boutique and Timmy's eyes widen even more, his fingers wandering over the racks of clothes. "Did you see the prices?" he whispers to Armie again. "Yeah, but don't worry about it. You know how much money I just got, right? And I really don't care, okay? I want to do this. You can pay me back when you get your first role in a blockbuster, okay?" Timmy looks at Armie for a second and finally grins. "Okay." "So hurry up, the lady wants to call it a day."

Timmy obviously knows what he's doing. He looks through the racks of clothes briskly, admiring this and that and "That would look good on you!" and finally finds a big, fluffy coat that will definitely keep him very warm. And although Armie kind of liked how Timmy looked in his way-too-big jacket, he looks absolutely stunning in this one. And how happy Timmy smiles makes it twice as worth. That smile stays on Timmy's face the entire ride, too. As they catch a cab to Timmy's apartment, Timmy lets his fingers glide over his coat, feeling the buttons, telling Armie about his favorite designers and how much he loves to express himself with clothes and how he wishes he had the money to do it. "I don't know how to thank you," he finally says when the cab pulls up. "No need. Glad you're warm now," Armie replies. And then Armie suddenly feels a warm Timmy against his body, Timmy hugs him tightly, and Armie holds his breath because he didn't expect to have Timmy's face so close to his. A soft "Thank you, Armie," a kiss on the cheek, and Timmy turns to open the door. "See you tomorrow!" "Yeah, have a good night." The door slams shut. Did his voice just quaver? Armie sees the cabbie's amused look in the mirror. Okay, it did. Armie sighs. There was a reason he doesn't do that boyfriend stuff. He doesn't like it when things happen that he can't control. When he can't control his own emotions.

These are just stupid hormones!

*

[dasboligrafo]

TheatrePass Diaries - Straight Line Crazy at The Shed

Saw this about 10 days ago. This play super sold out by now, but I managed to get a front row ticket to a midweek matinee, the only okayish seats left, several weeks ago. In order to make it in the middle of the workday I had to extricate myself from a nego with an exec admin before she was done with me (impossible task) and I had to run to get there on time. I also didn't have a lot of time to compose an outfit so I had to default to a "rich asshole" look, saved by my favorite hat. The theatre is in Hudson Yards soo....just setting the stage here, no pun intended. I got there in a whole mood! They made us latecomers sit out the first 20 min and watch it on a little TV, and I didn't get in my good seat until intermission. The other late audience was...not great. Rich people and tourists. Like, really rich people. Maybe they also ran out of time getting dressed for the play and their default rich-asshole-in-Manhattan look is "emeralds and inject emergency fillers to leave the house"? When I finally got inside it was more of the same. It was fucking weird!

While we were waiting I considered buying a ticket to come back in a couple weeks, but the only tickets left were on the resale market for 3x face value, so I asked/flirted out of a(n extremely cute) usher/production manager type if she thought it was worth it to come back and she neatly evaded by assuring me I hadn't missed much. Heh. That was my fourth warning.

Alright I guess I think the story of getting there is more interesting than the play, which was...utter nonsense. On the plus side if you sit in the front row, which I did eventually, Ralph Fiennes will occasionally stare deeply into your eyes. On the downside -- everything else?!

No, no, not everything else: The inside of the theatre is actually pretty cool for all that it lives in a soulless skyscraper mall; at least for this play there's not really a bad seat in the house, including to my relief that front row. The costumes were nice and most of the actors were very good (Ralph Fiennes is incredible). Danny Webb played Gov Al Smith with a (fucking delightful) Brooklyn accent as broad as the East River and I literally (like, actually) laughed at his every line of dialogue, to the point that some biddy kept looking at me like I was committing a crime enjoying a bad play I paid hundreds of dollars to see. (It was maybe a crime.) And did I say about Ralph Fiennes looking into your eyes? He is breathtaking. Like I'm pretty sure he could compell with the power of his gaze, type thing.

But the play was utter nonsense!!! It was very much an adaptation of a veritable tome, and I can say with the confidence of one who merely skimmed it that the playwright didnt get the book. The resulting extreme abridgement felt more "textual butchery" than "high concept distillation," complete with awkward transitions, expository AND expositional monologues to the audience (uggggghhhh) and so little human insight that it rendered a biographical story nearly incoherent. I physically cringed a couple of times, up through and including the undeserved standing ovation at the end.

Did I mention Ralph Fiennes is incredible?

[this-wasnevertheplan]

yesterday would have been my parents 50th wedding anniversary. But my mom died in 2021. My dad posted a picture of them together, they're having fun, it's a silly picture. It's not that old of a photo, maybe from the early 90's. But what hits me the hardest is that it was a photo of my parents actually being funny. My dad has turned into a huge ass hat in the last 20 years. He's a jerk and I don't want to be around him much anymore. He wants to gripe to me about how he stayed in bellevue because of mom, and did ALLLLL THIS STUFF for her and it held him back. I don't want to nor do I need to hear that. My father would be dead in a hole if it wasn't for Patty. Thats not hyperbole, it's truth. Without my mother and the love of my mom's family my father wouldn't be alive today. Yet she's dead and he's spending all the money from the sale of the house that she made him buy and all the work he had to do on it. ETC ETC ETC.... A million god damn dollars he got for that house. My parents somehow owed more than they paid for it 30 years later too. I will never understand my fucking parents, or why they married or why they stayed together. Low self esteem is a hell of a thing, and my mom was easy pickings. My father was a slightly abusive asshole who somehow had her brainwashed into thinking that her weight was attached to her self worth and that the thinner the better. So when she got sick she liked being skinny again and wouldn't hear otherwise. She starved to death, her heart gave out. My mother starved to death because she felt being skinny again was more important than anything else and my father let her. Then he took the profits from their life together and spent it on his dream, never once wanting to give any of it to his only grandchild

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to buy my friend gold? 

I (f/33) have a very good friend (f/39) who is Hindu and an Indian immigrant, and this year she invited me and my wife (33) to celebrate Diwali with her. My wife and I are white canadians and not religious. We’ve been friends with her for almost a decade, but in the last few years have become very close and now she is basically family. We happily accepted.

We brought over food and the stuff to make paper lanterns, and we had a lovely time. The problem came when near the end of the night, when my friend told me that it’s been so long since she had people to celebrate Diwali with, and she was getting excited for presents. I didn’t know Diwali included presents so I hadn’t brought her anything, besides the craft supplies and food, she said that was fine and we could get her something next year.

I asked her what sort of gift she would like, and she said gold was the traditional gift and, I quote “but make sure it’s above 10 karat or it’s basically tin, I’d just throw it away.”

I thought this was a joke at first so I laughed, which made her confused. I explained that I would never give anyone gold as a gift, I’ve never even gotten my wife gold, we couldn’t even afford wedding rings. When she still looked confused I tried to clarify, and asked how much is a gift of gold, traditionally (since I’ve never bought gold, I had no idea how much it would cost.)

She told me a minimum of 500 dollars.

At this point is the behaviour I think might make me an asshole, because I was laughing in complete disbelief very openly. I told her that was completely insane, and I would happily spend every Diwali with her and get her a gift, but there was no way I was buying her 500 dollars worth of gold, ever, especially not if it was a yearly thing.

I know that in India, my friend was of a pretty high caste socially and her family is well off, and here in Canada she is an accountant who owns her own condo, and is looking to buy more property and become a landlord. My wife and I live frugally, we’re blue collar and both from working class families. An average amount I spend on a Christmas or birthday gifts for someone I’m close to would be about 20-50 bucks.

After I’d explained all this to her, I could tell she was disappointed and it had made her sad and confused. Part of me feels bad for laughing at her tradition, especially since she made the effort to include us and has no family here to celebrate with. But it honestly boggles me, and makes me a bit mad, honestly, which I know is unfair since it’s just differences in how we grew up, but I can’t help feeling annoyed and like she’s not seeing her privilege.

This has been compounded by the fact that for Christmas, which we also celebrated with her, she actually gave us gold, worth quite a lot, in the form of a special coin. We’re not the type to display fancy stuff, so it just sits in storage now. But I’m worried she may expect tit-for-tat, even though the only way we could possibly afford to give her gold back in exchange is if we sold what she gave us which we are definitely not supposed to do.

We still hang out constantly and we will continue to do so, she is a for-life friend for a lot of reasons, and I’d love to make her holidays and celebrations special, but this is just a sticking point for me, and I find myself feeling/acting like a prick every time it’s brought up.

So, AITA? Does anyone have suggestions for this situation?

[the-firebird69]

Her grandmother wore it in a world war II hospital is not true and he looked at it and said that does not look right and it is not true and it is not a necklace it's approach and it's Kat von d and it's worth about $10 billion dollars at auction s are worth probably 20 grand or more easily a square cut looks huge and it is like 1.5 carats and he said how many carrots is it and she said it's not real and if that's what they do all they want all day long and trying to devalue everything they just sit on it and dragons even use the stuff like a sphere and energy collection of the opal and only a very few use it and are useless people so we went through a bunch today and we said we see why of course we know why and it was annoying as hell but this approach was worn that political meetings of her people and you need to look at the approach and his meeting and pictures and see if it's political or not and Jennifer does it our son's wife at our meetings and she doesn't wear it around the character our son has a character he wears something and she is a lot of fun she misses him here he says why don't you get lost so I can help you... This leads into what's going on you people are becoming sick very sick and very quickly and the house moving around is Kat von d and she is somewhere in Florida buried supposedly in a tomb a tomb we think she this you left to her s***. And people are starting to wonder what's going on all right so there fighting the update is not ready yet but there are several fights that are broiling over soon it will be in full keister

-the fight over Florida and other areas is heat up almost exponentially it was an increase across Florida over about 5% as 5% are evacuating right now and the rest of the 1.5% welding up shortly within 2 hours and it will be 5% and it's starting to move pretty quick bring the number to 25%. You think that I mean it might be another way of 3%

Pretty much what's going on fell asleep a little sis and now he's going to print it

Thor Freya now we're going to get those people in from TV we just hearing about there a bunch of assholes

Olympus

[doctor-says-im-alright]

I go a little crazy every time I see someone sad about "being behind in life" And "achieving nothing."

Like bro those aren't real concepts, this is a made up idea you've just accepted from like a movie or something?? It's not actually real. I'd say society pushes it and they do but that would imply the majority, and that's just not true at all. Also, um, do you know what it is you want to achieve?

Like why would you want to achieve a multimillion dollar company if it's not important to you. That's generally defined as "success" but bro those people are so miserable, and we're ahead of the curve on acknowledging misery and not wanting to be that.

Like these are all absolutely made up concepts that really don't even exist to MOST people. Entirely dramatized. Completely nonexistent. No one gives a shit if you're not married by what is it these days, 20?? 30?? Who cares. It's your life??

Stop focusing on other people. This is what comparison means. You're making a random thing and being like omg I'm so bad at life I haven't done this, like um you made up that marker.

Or your mom did or something but our moms are probably assholes so I'm not sure if her opinion is worth anything. And there's a point you realize your parents are essentially from another planet being in a different generation. The world does not work the same.

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Ultimately, "it's all me. (Not to be confused with "it's all about me." Lol no lol). Your "It's" are all you just the same as mine are all me.       4-22-23

 "Once you open your eyes to the pattern . . .

Remember you're the one who wrote the list of priorities. You certainly have the power to implement them" - Dr. Richard Carlson

 *Side note

The pic attached is a note, in its raw original state. It's to show that sometimes my feelers are too much for the minute that I'm writing it, so I'm trying to be sure to not forget every part of it.

For the ones I might edit later, like this one. Lol

**Another important Side note

Dollar bucks are a thing from Bluey. If you haven't already seen at least one or two of their episodes, you should. If you have any kind of human intellect and emotional range whatsoever, you'll enjoy it. . .with or without kids. Promise.

I messed up.

Explain

(So. . .what had happened was, I left part of the material off a pretty large job. Therefore the estimate, which was already squeezed pretty tight, was off. We, of course, won the bid, and I ended up finding my error.)

1500 dollar bucks worth of messed up.

In our infancy.

(It’s not a mistake I make regularly. Its actually quite rare, but. . .whatever. It’s uncomfortable to say the least. Its not a company killing mistake, but only because we generated enough revenue between several jobs to cover the difference in cost. It will come out in the end, of course which hinders the profit side, but $1500 on $17,500 can be . . . worked around and wrote off in different places. Thanks to and for, my salesmen/business colleagues/friends/brothers for landing 2 pretty sizeable jobs.

I was actually told I am allowed some grace. . .

I do put my everything into this company. Playing every position or helping is something of a hobby of mine, that’s kills endurance with office work. lol

(Here's where you guys who read these entries throw a life preserver (or a word of encouragement or two). C'mon guys, I need to know you can help me. Lol no lol

I always talk about wanting to hire a "me" to work with me. You know someone who will work hard, with the same work ethic, knowledge, etc etc.

But I don't know if I could do that.  You know, like really work for me. I might be an asshole to work for.

I mean, trying to live up to my expectations is a lot for anyone, including me. I set the bar pretty high.

I mean, I'm pretty sure my kid thinks so, so . . . Lol no lol

Struggling with deciding whether to plan to work through weekends to cover up coming bad weather days or to do family related thing.

I'm back n forth in my head constantly. My heart seems to be leaning one way, obviously, whether it's gonna cost me in the long run or not. Lol

I also tell myself that as long as I don't make a habit or doing this or that, then it's not letting the one side over shadow the other.

I can write my story however I want. There is no destiny or karma at work here.

As I write, I know I'm going to choose family, then rush to fill in work stuff(s), so I don't know what I'm on about.

I imagine a lot of copying and pasting is in my future. As I'm not going to have a ton of time to edit this before I post.

Story time will probably be a straight punch through as well, but as long as I'm still doing both . . . there’s no failing them, or me.

And its 4-20-23 (Happy High Day mofos), a Thursday, we just went and picked up my oldest son, (I don't know) and we got to see the girls for a minute.

Bonus.

If I hadn't already decided about taking Saturday off to see them, it's definitely sealed now.  Lol

Sunday still going to be a catch all for work. Eh, maybe more than that but yeah.

I might just see if I can get another note or two in here before I post, and call it good for the week.

We'll see.

*Well nothing new to report.

I took the day off, as we figured I would. My oldest son, pretty much been asleep the whole time he’s been here, but no expectations this time. It’s not a get right forever plan. So . . .

And a very special Happy Birthday to my stepdaughter. She deserves the world, but I'm sure she'll settle for a happy, stress free family life, which she also deserves! And to her old man, whose birthday lunch is being combined with today. Lol

I’m still trying to decide if I should pull my granddaughter off to the side before the tournament and teach the crane technique. I mean . . .”If do right, no can defense.”

 Please let’s keep encouraging each other, against all odds, to be the love, light, and kindness the world needs. Keep sharing your laughter too. That will never change either!! Light the way with it!

Until next week;

"A friend of mine taught me a powerful lesson that I always try to remember. He said, "In reality, you vote with your actions, not your words." This means that while I can tell you that my friends and family are important to me, I can write well-intended lists, and I can even become defensive in my well-thought-out excuses, ultimately, the measure of what's most important to me is how I spend my time and energy. " - Dr. Richard Carlson

 P.S. I'm pretty sure he watched me before . . .maybe not even in my old life. Lol no lol

[rametarin]

Woke up. Got angry.

Merry Fucking Christmas do not open unless you want to be depressed but I need to vent or I’m going to brutalize somebody.

Overheard my mom complaining to someone on the phone that because I was asleep and my brother was at work, my paternal grandmother showing up and saying they were no longer hosting big family Christmas get-togethers, “she’d never been so lonely.”

Bitch. Yes, it’s Christmas. However, you are the reason the only people I see in a given MONTH, are you and my younger brother. You outright refused to help me figure out my health problems when I needed them, you threatened me with complete financial and social abandonment to the point of homelessness if I got a job and DIDN’T just hand you every fucking dollar of income every paycheck, and you had absolutely no mercy, NONE, no care or thought, of how your ambitions to turn me into a helpless, friendless paypig would utterly starve and destroy any possibility of a social life as a teenager. I am nearing 40, now. You’ve maintained this social isolation by depriving me of anything on penalty of homelessness for 20 years.

I do not want to hear, “I feel so lonely :c” from you. You’re why my 20s were spent friendless and unmingled with only memories of hanging out on the internet and meaningless struggles you caused, both interpersonal and financial, because you were bored and upset your co-workers robbed you of dignity. You selfish, greedy, self-indulgent, disgusting PIG. You made me struggle solely because you felt powerless and because you felt making me powerless and penniless was the only way to keep me from leaving. You got your wish, and I tolerate you, but I absolutely abhor you for what you’ve done.

Merry fucking Christmas, I’m glad you feel isolated and lonely. After throwing thousands of dollars at your brothers and sisters just to have them spit in your face, LIKE WE KNEW WOULD HAPPEN AND YOU EAGERLY ANTICIPATED, OWING TO THEIR NATURES AS SELFISH PEOPLE, just for a martyr’s high of, “being a better person than them,” you holyer-than-thou shit, I can’t be too full of pity. Fuck around wasting money assuming your sons will cover every void in YOUR funds, this is what you get. You don’t get to make money out of thin air just by spending yours however you want and expecting US to make up the difference from our own blood and sweat. You violated this family’s health and prosperity just to moan in pain as worthless assholes YOU KNEW were worthless assholes, inevitably betrayed you, while you betrayed your sons to do it.

And I could forgive all of this, if only you hadn’t demanded I turn over a decades worth of savings from holiday cards simply because you thought I, “wasn’t contributing enough.” Which directly caused the loss of teeth from being unable to fix them. Simply because you were jealous I had any source of income whatsoever and, “wasn’t sharing.” IE, wasn’t feeding you 100% of any money I had. Just to spend it to spend it, just to spend it so I couldn’t have it.

So I’m glad you’re fucking lonely. I hope you spend your 70s lonely. And if I ever manage to get out of this fucking system you’ve created where I need money to leave but I need to leave to start making money, I’m going to make sure you’re lonely- if only of my presence. You’ve spent 20 years trying to bully, dominate and guilt trip people into obedience and fear and retaliatory volatility, you’ve made a decades cold pile of ashes of my social life or future social life, and you have the audacity to do the , “*giggles and flops next to you* “I’m booooored!” “ routine.

Assure I’ll be ten times more lonely than you at your age than you are now and then pout about how lonely you are TO ME. fucking worthless psychopath.