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imagineaworlds · 4 years

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I Love You (Part Sixteen) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: Cursing, murder, mentions of sexual assault, literally everything Criminal Minds, okie.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 9247

Timeline: Season 2 Episode 23. Right after part fifteen.

It was a sad and quiet walk to the car as Morgan, Hotch, Emily, and I all headed to the crime scene. When we got there, the door to Rebecca’s apartment was wide open. There was no sign of forced entry, which meant that she had originally believed that he was Gideon, like she said on the phone, so she invited him in. The house phone that I had called was smashed on the ground in the living room, and there was a single cup of coffee on the table in front of the couch. I reached down and felt the outside of the mug to find that it was cold. Frank was long gone, just as expected.

Morgan kicked the bedroom door open after jiggling the locked door handle around. Hotch and Morgan took the lead heading inside while Emily and I kept pressure on the tail end for backup, not that it ultimately mattered. After the door flew open, we discovered Rebecca’s body on her bed in the same state that the woman in Gideon’s apartment had been found.

Hotch sighed to himself and took a step out of the apartment. I followed for a brief moment, but I didn’t end up going any further than the couch in the living room. I took a quiet seat and hid my face in my hands. There must have been some hope still brewing in my chest on the car ride over because seeing Rebecca hit my heart harder than it should have. I didn’t know her. I didn’t have any connection to her other than being a part of her rescue team that night we saved her. And yet, I felt almost responsible for her. We could have done more to protect her. We should have called her first. At the time, it didn’t make sense to call one potential target over another, but I should have just done it… She could perhaps still have been alive if we just called a few minutes sooner to warn her.

Emily walked by, “I’m going to check on Hotch,” she told me. I nodded and whispered a thank you.

“Y/N,” Morgan called my name from the bedroom. “You should come take a look at this…”

He sounded concerned about something, so I sucked in a brave breath before stepping into the room. Morgan was holding evidence in his gloved hands, searching through a stack of… whatever it was he found… As I approached, Morgan held the evidence out to the side, but he didn’t look up at me, almost like he was too scared to. Hesitantly, I took what he was offering in order to look for myself. The second it was out of his hands, Morgan turned to find something else to work on.

I looked down at my hands and the evidence they were holding. Within an instant, I felt like yelping or screaming, yet nothing came out. As my blood ran cold, I stayed paralyzed and looked at the photos in my hands. All this time, I thought that they had burned in the fire; yet there they were. Intact and staring back at me.

I swallowed hard. “Has Hotch or Emily seen these?” Morgan shook his head, though still refusing to look at me. I didn’t blame him after what he had just seen. I wouldn’t want to look at me either. “Don’t tell him,” I quietly begged.

“It’s evidence, Y/N.”

“They don’t exist,” I insisted, putting them in the inside pocket of my jacket. “They burned in the fire at Randall Garner’s home.”

“Y/N—“ he turned around, finally finding enough dignity to look at me.

I stared him down, “They don’t… exist.” His eyes frantically searched mine, but I stayed calm. “Hotch can never see them.”

Morgan kept staring at me as if it would change my mind. It wouldn’t. I genuinely thought that this had all ended the night Randall Garner died and his house burned down. I thought that the images he stole from me disappeared with him. There wasn’t a single day since then where I even thought about those photos, because why would I when I had tried so hard to forget them in the first place and then I had reason to believe that they had been wiped from existence. Not once did the thought cross my mind of there being a possibility that those photos were still out there. If I would have known, I would have searched through heaven and hell to find them and burn them myself. Yet there they were now, hiding in my jacket, out of sight of the one person I didn’t want to ever lay eyes on them. Hotch was a well grounded, smart man. He didn’t like to use his position at the FBI for any kind of personal gain— including finding people or digging up dirt on whomever he wanted. But if he saw those pictures… If he knew that they really were, he wouldn’t stop until he found the boy that did that to me, and he would kill him. Therefore, Hotch could never know, the same way Elle could never know. That was, if I ever ended up seeing my sister again.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” he whispered to me.

I shook my head, “They don’t exist. It never happened.”

His face softened, “Y/N—”

“It never happened, Morgan. Please. Just… drop it…”

“You know that I, of all people, get it. Right? You can talk to me.”

“And you should know, of all people, that I just want you to drop it and never talk about it again.”

Morgan took a physical step back to signify him backing down from the conversation. He turned back to looking around the room for more evidence, meanwhile I paced around the bed to look at Rebecca’s body. It was left in an identical state compared to the body last night. Her stomach had been cut open, obvious organs missing— but I wouldn’t know until Reid or a coroner could take a look. There was an incision on the left side of her chest, just where there was easy access to a rib, if that was really what his M.O. was. I froze and squinted when I noticed that she was clutching something in her right palm.

“Morgan,” I called his attention over. I pried Rebecca’s hand open slightly and slid the piece of paper out of her tight grip. “It says ‘7AM, Union Station. I’ll trade her for Jane.’” Morgan and I exchanged a glance. “Hotch!” I yelled. Him and Emily came in a few seconds later and I handed the note to him.

“So he’s taken someone else already,” Emily spoke up.

“Or at least he’s planning on it.”

“Let’s think about this. All other eight possible targets are safe and accounted for, so what— or who— did we miss?” Morgan questioned. “Frank isn’t capable of feeling the same feelings we do, but he enjoys mimicking them because he finds it fun. He takes what other people hold sacred and he uses it against them. So what does that say about his next target?”

“People hold women and children most sacred,” Emily worked out. “He said that he’d be willing to trade ‘her’ for Jane, but he wouldn’t have given that detail if he didn’t want us to narrow down the list, so it has to be a kid.”

“Call JJ and ask her to search through all of the child victims we’ve worked with in recent years and have moved to the D.C. area so recently that Gideon wouldn’t have it marked down,” Hotch told Emily. Emily left the bedroom. “Did you guys find anything else in here?”

Morgan looked over at me like he was waiting for some kind of cue to admit what he found, but I shook my head vaguely. “We didn’t find anything else,” Morgan answered finally.

“Hotch,” Emily said breathlessly as she ran back in, “JJ says that the only girl who matches the description and isn’t accounted for is a girl named Tracey Belle.” Hotch eyes shot wide. “She also says that they found Jane.”

“Okay, go back to the office to meet up with JJ and sort things out with Jane. Morgan, stay here with the crime scene while the PD is on their way, Y/N and I will go to the Belle’s residence. Have JJ send us the address. Let’s go.”

Hotch and I hurried to McLean, Virginia where Tracey Belle’s family had moved to after our team saved her from a child Unsub long before I joined the team. I knew nothing about Tracey Belle or the case she was involved in, except for the fact that there was a boy in her grade who was luring other kids to the woods and murdering them out there. Tracey was supposed to be his last victim, but the team managed to get there in time to stop him before anything could happen. Thankfully. But now, there was a strong chance that Frank had her. She was going to relive her worst nightmares all over again…

The sun was already down again with another day concluded, which was both a blessing and a curse. While the darkness would help Hotch and I approach the house undetected, it also meant that Frank could hide or run and we wouldn’t even know it— or even worse, he could have already killed Tracey.

Hotch kicked down the door and I pushed into the house first with my weapon and flashlight raised. We moved quickly and quietly, checking every corner of the living room, kitchen, and dining room. When there was no sign of a struggle or Tracey at all, we moved down the hallway towards the bedrooms. The first door on our left was open, and it looked like Tracey’s father’s office. Past that, on the right, was Tracey’s parents’ room, which was also empty. The last room to check was Tracey’s room at the end of the hall on the left again. The door was closed, unlike the other rooms. I gave Hotch a short nod as I put my hand on the doorknob, and he returned the signal. I turned the handle, pushed the door open as fast and hard as I could, and Hotch ran in first.

Empty. Entirely empty.

There was no sign of Tracey or her family anywhere. While that seemed like a loss— which, in reality, it technically was— it was also still a win. If Frank was going to hurt Tracey, he would have already killed her in her home like he had done with the other victims. From the looks of it, he took Tracey. The only question was, however, where were her parents?

“I’ll call a forensics team,” Hotch said. “Call Morgan and have him meet us here.”

While Hotch turned to call the office, I grabbed my phone and dialed Morgan. I asked if he was done at Rebecca’s house yet, and he told me that they were just bagging up her body and then the crime scene cleaners were going to come in, which he didn’t need to be there for. I told him that we needed him down at the Belle’s residence as soon as possible. He sighed and hesitantly asked me if she was dead.

“No. Frank just took her.”

“I’m on my way.”

Thirty minutes later, while Hotch and I were casing the house as best we could ourselves, Morgan and the forensics team showed up with the local sheriff's department. We stepped out of the house to let them do what they needed to do in order or to determine exactly what happened to Tracey. Morgan met us out front and we started to discuss why Frank would have possibly taken Tracey, of all people. According to them, Frank wasn’t fond of children, which was why the school bus hostages were a shock to them in the first place, but now this? He was getting desperate. He was losing track of who he enjoyed murdering because he was so focused on Jane. That being said, he didn’t kill Tracey, so maybe she was meant to be a gift for Jane, and in that case, Tracey would be safe unless we didn’t give Frank what he wanted.

“That’s our house, Charlie!” someone shouted from the road.

Hotch, Morgan, and I looked over to see Tracey’s parents getting out of their car and running up towards the house. The three of us stepped in their path to make sure they wouldn’t get through. I recognized the worry on their faces as uncontrollable panic about their daughter’s safety, but we wouldn’t let them into the house until the forensics team was done inside.

“You have to let us in,” Mrs. Belle told us desperately while trying to push past me. “My daughter’s inside.”

“You can’t go in right now,” Hotch tried to explain to them calmly.

“Where’s Tracey? Where’s my daughter?”

“Mrs. Belle—” I began, but she didn’t listen. She was still fighting against me as if I would suddenly budge and move out of her way, but I was going to do no such thing.

“What’s important to know right now is that Tracey is, in fact, alive,” Hotch said. Mr. Belle saw an opportunity to push through Morgan and Hotch, so he attempted to take it, but Morgan caught him before he could make it to the door. “Sir, she’s not in there!” Mr. Belle threw his hands up in surrender and stepped back. “We’re going to find her, I promise,” he said to both parents.

Mrs. Belle stopped fighting against me and suddenly broke down in my arms. She fell to her knees with me barely catching her in time, and she began to sob. Mr. Belle hurried over and took Mrs. Belle from my arms so that he could hold her as they both cried. They thought that all of this was over after they moved… They thought that their daughter was safe because our team had saved her before, but now she was gone and we were back on their doorstep.

The way Mrs. Belle cried and screamed out for her baby shattered my heart as the three of us stood around and watched. She rocked in her husband’s embrace and tried to muffle her sobs, but they were so agonizingly painful in her heart and chest that she couldn’t hold them back. My jaw clenched as I swallowed back the feeling of needing to cry in response. The tears that had started welling my eyes disappeared after I looked away and blinked furiously to make the fog over my eyes go away.

“We should go back to the office,” I whispered to Hotch. I was too scared to say anything louder than that because I thought that the sob collecting in my throat would escape if I raised my voice above a whisper. I took in a steady breath before stepping around the Belles.

If what Emily said earlier about JJ locating Jane was still true, they were likely back at the BAU already interrogating her for information, and since we hadn’t received another call from them, I was going to go out on a limb and guess that they weren’t getting anything of use yet. Hotch was the best interrogator we had, if anyone could do it, it was him. We were practically useless at the crime scene now, there was no point in staying when he could be finding a way to end this once and for all without giving Jane to Frank again and without getting Tracey killed. There had to be answers. There had to be a way to get that little girl back to her family.

“We need to talk,” Morgan said, coming up to me as I leaned against the side of the car while waiting on Hotch. I opened my mouth to protest because I knew exactly where this was headed, but he put up a hand to tell me to be quiet and just listen, so I decided to give him a shot at not making my night any worse than it already was. “You know what I went through growing up. I didn’t want people to know the truth either, yet they found out. They always find out, Y/N. Everyone got hurt and lost their trust in me because I chose to hide that secret over helping them find the man responsible. Hotch still struggles to trust me sometimes.” He shifted his weight on his feet. “You can’t keep it a secret forever even though you think you can. That man over there loves you more than anything in the world. I have never in my life seen anyone look at another person the way the two of you look at each other. You don’t want to lose that because of these photos, Y/N. It’s not worth it.”

“It’s not for him to know, though. It happened decades ago. What’s the point in bringing it all back up when all it will do is hurt people? Nothing will be solved suddenly if I show him the pictures and tell Hotch every single thing that boy did to me. He’s better off not knowing.”

“If it were Hotch keeping a secret like this from you, wouldn’t you want to know?”

I paused. Truthfully, I would want to know. But it wasn’t fair of Morgan to force the decision on me like this. He was right that I knew exactly what happened to him, but he forgot that I also knew how adamant he was about not telling anyone and how when I pieced it together myself, I didn’t tell anyone because it was his secret to tell when he wanted. Telling Hotch the truth was the most petrifying concept to me. During the Fisher King case, I had hinted to him what happened, but he didn’t know the extent of it, and he certainly didn’t need to see the photos.

“Does it get any better after they know?” I asked him.

Morgan’s eyes fluttered as he looked at the ground. “No,” he shook his head, “I don’t suppose it does.”

“You know that I love and respect you, Morgan… but I just… I need to think about it, at least.”

“Are you two ready to go?” Hotch asked as he met us at the car. Neither of us looked up at him or each other. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head and relaxed my shoulders. “Nothing.” I opened the car door and got in.

At the BAU, Reid met us as the elevator doors opened. He explained that Jane had turned herself in to local police because she had nowhere else to go and she wanted to talk with Gideon. He also said that she seemed on edge. She was scared, obviously, but there was something more to it than that, but no one could figure out what.

When we entered the mirror room, I could see that Emily and JJ were still in the interrogation room with Jane, trying to get her to talk while she held onto a brown paper bag for dear life. Morgan and Reid took a few side steps to stand in front of the window, but I moved to follow Hotch into the interrogation room.

“Stay in here, Y/N,” Hotch said. “She doesn’t know you, so it might turn her off from talking if there’s someone in the room that she doesn’t recognize.” I nodded agreeingly and went to stand in front of the mirror with Morgan and Reid.

Jane clutched the bag closer to her chest. “Frank hasn’t hurt anyone, has he? He wouldn’t do that… Not while he has me…”

“But he doesn’t have you, Jane,” JJ explained. “We do.”

“Why did you leave Frank? What changed?” Emily asked.

“Frank changed,” Jane answered. “Agent Gideon warned me that this would happen, but I didn’t believe him when I should have. Frank isn’t who he says he is. That’s why Frank’s mad with Agent Gideon because he knows everything about Frank. That’s why I need to see him.”

“Frank wants Agent Gideon to stop him, doesn’t he?” Hotch inquired quietly from the corner. Everyone was using hushed tones with her because she was such a fragile woman. Anything over a whisper would have made her spiral, which we didn’t have time for.

“Well, if anyone can stop him, it’s Agent Gidoen.”

“Not without you, Jane.”

“What do you mean?”

Hotch changed the subject, “Tell me what you know about Frank. Where is he from?”

“Manhattan. He talked about it all the time. He told me about where he lived and how he grew up, everything. He wanted me to know everything.”

“Did he say where in Manhattan?”

She shook her head, “No, but he said that he lived with his mother, Mary Breitkopf. Just his mother, though. He never knew his father, but he still despised him. He loved his mother more than anything. She would take him to the fair, and to the movies when they could afford it, they would have dinner parties when they couldn’t, and she read stories to him every night. He even had me read some of them to him to help him sleep.”

“Did Frank try to kill anyone else while you guys were on the run?”

“Is it wrong to love Frank?” she dodged Hotch’s question by asking Emily another one. Emily raised a curious brow. “You know, since he is what he is… Is it wrong?”

“You don’t choose who you love,” Emily answered.

My eyes unconsciously switched to look at Hotch. He looked at the mirror as if he could see me and I realized that he was thinking the same thing. We would fight tooth and nail for each other and to make our relationship work, just as I had told him in the car the night before. Jane seemed to feel that way about Frank, but we knew what kind of man he was, and there was no way that he could return the same desperate feelings.

Hotch looked back at the table in the middle of the room. “Jane, did Frank try to kill anyone else?”

She nodded, “Me…” She lowered her head as she started to cry quietly. “We had an argument, and as it blew up, I said that Agent Gideon was right, and he became so angry. So I ran and I didn’t look but.” She looked back up, “But he won’t try to kill anybody else. I promise.”

“He’s already killed two people, Jane,” JJ said. “And he’s not going to stop until he gets you back.”

“Oh…”

There was a knock at the door suddenly. Morgan, Reid, and I all turned to see who it was. Anderson poked his head into the room and told us that there was a call for Hotch and that it was extremely urgent. When I inquired about who it was, he said that it was Tracey Belle. I immediately reached for the door to the interrogation room and told Hotch that we had a problem. Hotch uncrossed his arms and hurried past me, Morgan, Reid, and Anderson. We all ran after him as Anderson tried to explain that it was Tracey Belle who had called and she sounded upset— which, of course she fucking was, Frank had her.

“Hello?” Hotch welcomed as he picked up the phone on his desk and put it on speaker for us to hear.

“Agent Hotchner,” Frank began, “we asked for Agent Gideon, not you. Put him on the phone.”

Hotch reached down to the phone and speed dialed Garcia’s number since Gideon didn’t have his phone on him. When she picked up, Hotch said, “Garcia, put Jason on the phone. There’s someone who wants to talk to him.”

“Who is this?” Gideon asked once he had the phone.

“Jason?” Tracey questioned, her voice shaking with fright. “It’s Tracey Belle.”

“Go on, Tracey,” Frank encouraged from the background. “Just like we practiced.”

“Please, Mr. Gideon,” Tracey sniffled, “you have to help me. You saved me once before. Do you remember?”

“Of course I remember you, Tracey. How could I ever forget you?” Gideon chuckled lightly and playfully, trying to brighten Tracey’s mood. “Tracey, everything’s going to be alright.”

“I’m scared, Mr. Gideon… I want my mommy…”

I sat down on the couch in Hotch’s office as I choked back that same need to cry that I felt at the Belle’s residence. Tracey was crying out for her mother in the same way that Mrs. Belle had been crying out for her daughter. It all rang in my head over and over again, the crying and the screaming.

“Jason,” Frank sing-songed into the call.

“You son of a bitch,” Gideon cursed into the phone. “I swear I will find you no matter what it takes and I will take you down.”

“Shhh,” Frank cooed. “I chose the station because I know of your interest in trains. I saw the toys in your apartment before I killed your date.” And then he hung up.

Silence hung in the air as we all stared at each other. We only had a few hours until the sun would start to rise and we were supposed to meet Frank at Union Station with Jane. There was no other choice than to play by his rules, though, right? If we wanted to get that little girl back to her family safe, then we needed to give him Jane. That being said, there was no way in hell Frank actually believed that we would let him get away again. Even if we did give him Jane, they weren’t going to get very far. D.C. and Virginia was our turf, not his. We knew how to tear apart the entire East coast if need be. He wasn’t going to win again. Especially since he made it personal with Gideon this time around.

Hotch picked up the phone and dialed the SWAT team to let them know that we would be heading to Union Station around 6:30 in order to be there on time for 7AM. Morgan paced around the room, biting at his nails, and Reid sat down on the couch with me while lost in thought. He was likely thinking of a way to get Frank after this was all over with. We knew that no matter what, we had to be the ones to get to Frank, because if Gideon got there first, he would kill him, and Reid couldn’t afford to lose Gideon because of a dumb mistake.

Morgan stopped pacing when Hotch hung up the phone and looked up at the three of us. “Boardroom. Now. Reid, get Emily and JJ.”

Reid stood and ran to the interrogation room to go collect them, and in the meantime, Hotch, Morgan, and I walked down the lifted walkway outside of Hotch and Gideon’s offices and into the boardroom. Hotch pulled up a map of the train station on the TV and we started making our plan for how we were going to clear the station, get to Frank, find out where Tracey was, and then arrest Frank. We had to be exact. There was no room for error. Fucking this up could result in either Tracey’s death or Frank getting away again— or both, if we were too careless.

“Hotch, we think we might know where Frank is keeping Tracey Belle,” JJ said as she, Emily, and Reid all stormed into the room. Hotch raised a curious brow. “Jane said that he is obsessed with his mother. Well, I did some digging, and it says that she’s still living in the Upper East Side in New York. Since taking Tracey, he would have had enough time to drive up there, leave her with his mother, and he could be back in time for our meeting at Union Station.”

“He would want to get her as far from us as possible,” Emily shrugged, explaining further, “just to make sure that we don’t get to her before he gets Jane.”

Hotch nodded, “No lead is a bad lead. JJ and Reid, take the jet to Mary Breitkopf’s home, see if you can find Tracey there. Meet with the field office there and have a task force go with you. We can’t afford to let Frank or his mother get away.”

JJ and Reid left together to get ready for their flight to New York while the rest of us looked back at the map of the train station. Hotch showed us exactly what plan he had in mind for the 7AM meet time. Our team, along with backup from SWAT, would move into the station and clear it out as quietly as possible. Frank won’t leave or hide in the crowd because he knows that this is his only chance of getting Jane back— just like when he stayed around in the diner in Nevada. Hotch was going to talk to Frank first, see if he would budge and tell us where Tracey was, even though that wasn’t very realistic. Eventually, we would have to show Jane to Frank in order to get Tracey’s location, since by the time Reid and JJ would get to his mother’s house in New York to check if she was there, this would all be unfolding. If it came down to it, we would have to give Jane over to Frank, and he would likely tell us to wait so that they could run again; but the local PD would have road blocks surrounding the area to make sure that he wouldn’t get too far. Our job would be to help find Frank once he was gone, but there wasn’t much we could do to stop him while at the station if things progressed, unfortunately.

At 6:30, we geared up and headed out to Union Station. The SWAT team was waiting in the back of the parking lot for us since they didn’t want to scare off the public or Frank just yet. We needed to make sure that Frank remained calm until 7AM when we would find him somewhere inside, so it was a safer bet if our team went in quietly without our weapons out. People were in too much of a hurry around the station to notice a few FBI agents spread out amongst the building. Hotch put me and Emily on guard at the inside platform, and Morgan and Hotch were going to take the lobby. We headed in quietly and calmly, Emily and I splitting off from the boys as soon as we entered the building.

For the thirty or so minutes leading up to 7AM, Emily and I paced and searched the platforms to see if we could spot Frank anywhere. If we were lucky enough, we’d catch him in the crowd and we could take him in for interrogation over anything else. Frank liked being in control and being powerful, and by taking a hostage, he had both because we were playing by his rules. But if we shoved him in a dark, windowless interrogation room for long enough, he would tell us where Tracey was.

At 6:58AM exactly, the SWAT team moved into the station to start clearing out all of the civilians. Emily and I searched every face that passed by us to make sure that Frank wouldn’t slip out— just in case our profile of him was wrong. He wanted Jane, yes, but maybe he would get scared off by all of the armed agents running around. But there was no sign of him on the inside platform after everyone cleared out. Even if he was on the outside ones, he would have needed to pass by us or the boys in the lobby. He was either waiting somewhere for us or he was long gone.

“The building’s clear,” we heard from the SWAT team through the comms. Emily and I exchanged a glance. “Target spotted on the platform outside. Target spotted.”

“Emily, get Jane,” Hotch said over the comms.

Emily turned around and headed back for the lobby and the parking lot where Jane was sitting in one of the cars, waiting for us to get her. I immediately jumped onto my toes and started racing for the tunnel that led to the outside platform. The platform was entirely clear except for Frank, who was sitting alone on a bench, and Morgan and Hotch who were carefully approaching. Morgan passed the back of the bench to stand on Frank’s left side, while Hotch and I stood on his right side.

Hotch stood his ground and stared at the man sitting on the only bench on that side of the platform. “Frank,” he greeted casually.

“Agent Hotchner. Agent Greenaway. It’s a pleasure to formally meet both of you finally.”

“Where’s Tracey Belle?” Hotch wasn’t having any of Frank’s shit. We weren’t going to give up Jane until we knew for sure that Tracey was still alive and well. When Frank didn’t respond, Hotch asked again, to which he was met with Frank asking if we brought Jane. “Maybe we did. Tell us where Tracey Belle is and we’ll give you Jane.”

Frank tsked his tongue, “That’s not how this is going to work, Agent Hotchner. I see Jane first and I will tell you exactly where the girl is.”

Hotch sucked in a deep breath, his face still sour and flat. He waited another minute in silence before lifting his wrist comm to his mouth and telling Emily to bring Jane out. The platform was quiet again as everyone maintained their footing and aim at Frank. The clacks of Emily’s boots and Jane’s heels echoed in the station as they walked up to mine and Hotch’s side. Frank looked over and smiled at Jane, but she didn’t smile back. Hotch asked his question again as Frank stood up.

“Did you not think that I’d come looking for you?” Frank addressed Jane.

Jane hid slightly behind Emily. “You killed two innocent women, Frank, and you took that little girl. Why?”

“For you, my love. Without you, I am nothing. I had to do everything I could to get you back.”

“Tracey, Frank,” Emily said, irritated with how they were dancing around the information we needed.

“Not until we’re safely away.”

“Stop it, Frank. I’m not going with you,” Jane insisted, moving behind Emily a bit more.

“Jason, wait—” Hotch pleaded with Gideon as he came running onto the platform with his weapon raised at Frank.

Both of us tried to stand in his way, but he pushed past us and stepped closer to Frank. “Sarah was a doctor,” Gideon said behind gritted teeth. So that was his date’s name. “She ran a cancer treatment center. She dedicated her life to easing the pain of others. You took the lives of hundreds all because your mother was a whore.”

Frank’s grin immediately disappeared. “You don’t know anything about my mother.”

“Mary Louise Breitkopf. An immigrant from Germany, a single mother to a son named Frank, lived on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Tell me, did she do it all in the house or did she at least show you the courtesy of doing it elsewhere?”

“Shut up,” Frank hissed.

“You think that you’re special, don’t you, Frank? Well, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not. You’re nothing.”

Frank glanced over Gideon’s shoulder to look at Jane again. “Jane, this world isn’t meant for us. We don’t fit in here. We should go Come with me and we can be together forever.” Jane stepped around Emily slowly and started walking forwards. No one tried to stop her, but we were keeping a close eye to make sure that neither of them would try anything. “I love you, Jane.” He held out his hand for her.

She took his hand, “I love you, too.”

He pulled her close for a kiss, and both Emily and I stepped forward to intervene, but Hotch put an arm out to the side to stop us. The approaching train blared its horn to signal its arrival, so none of us could hear what was said between them after they parted from their kiss. The next thing we knew, Frank kissed Jane’s knuckles and they made a run for the train tracks. We all tried to run after them to grab them, but they were just too far ahead of us. Before we could stop them, both Frank and Jane jumped in front of the train.

I threw my palm to my forehead as my jaw fell and I let out a gasp. This was Frank’s endgame. He knew that we weren’t going to let him get away again, and he wanted to make sure that he was with Jane for forever, just like he said. He didn’t really care about her, though. As a psychopath, he was incapable of loving her the way she assumed he did. He just wanted one more victim to go down with him. She was supposed to be his first and only, but he couldn’t stop himself from killing, even in the end.

Gideon’s phone rang as he reholstered his weapon. I looked over at Hotch and he looked just as shocked as me. No one cared if Frank died, though it would have been nice if we could have arrested him; but Jane was just an innocent, naive, lost, and broken woman. She didn’t deserve what Frank put her through. That seemed to be Hotch’s biggest regret— not getting to help her more.

“Reid and JJ have Tracey,” Gideon told us, still on the phone. “She’s safe.”

“And Mary Breitkopf?” I asked.

Gideon shook his head, “Reid estimates that she’s been dead over twenty years.”

Frank started killing people around twenty years ago… The death of his mother— if he hadn’t killed her himself— was his stressor. He did all of this for her. But it was over now. Frank and Jane were gone, and they had left a trail of blood behind them; but Tracey was safe. That was a win. We failed Rebecca, but we didn’t fail that little girl or her parents.

It was over. Finally.

“Hey, Greenaway,” Morgan said as he approached my desk. “Wanna go for a drive?”

I shook my head while still collecting all of my things for the night. “Hotch and I are going to pick up Jack from his aunt’s house.”

Morgan kicked my ankle playfully to grab my attention, so I gave in and looked up at him with a glare. “I want to show you something. It’s important.”

“But Hotch—”

“I already talked to him. Trust me, it won’t take that long.”

I looked up at Hotch’s office to see that he had just finished packing up his briefcase for the night. Morgan stepped in front of my gaze and smiled at me. I rolled my eyes and gave into his offer with a silent nod. His smile widened as I got out of my seat and walked towards the glass doors of the BAU.

Morgan drove us about thirty minutes out of town to a suburban neighborhood that was in the middle of development. We pulled up to one of the houses that was practically just a skeleton with half of a roof. As Morgan put the car in park, I asked myself what the hell we were doing there. How did Morgan know about this place and what was so important to show me all the way out there?

I followed Morgan’s lead as he got out of the car and walked up to the house he had brought me to. There was no door, so we just stepped in between two beams. We ended up standing in the middle of what looked like would eventually be a living room. After a minute of me spinning around to try to figure out the significance of this place, I gave up and asked Morgan where we were and why we were there.

“You know how I own a bunch of different properties?” he asked me and I nodded. “Well, this is one of them.” That was great and all, but why were we there? “What happened to us, it doesn’t define us, but there are a lot of kids still out there who don’t know that— and a lot of them end up in the system. If there had been a place where I could have sought out help, I would have taken it, but I didn’t have anyone. We save all different kinds of kids all the time, and sometimes they end up in a system that can’t give them the help or resources they need, and I feel like I have the ability to help them, so I bought this place and I’m going to turn it into a foster home for kids who have been removed from abusive families.”

“Morgan, that’s…” I was absolutely speechless.

It was amazing. No one ever looked out for kids like us when we needed it the most. We always felt so alone and misunderstood— like somehow it was all our fault. Morgan knew that feeling better than anyone, and he took the initiative to find a place that could help kids. If I would’ve had something like that after… Well… Again, speechless.

“Do you still have them?” he asked, referring to the pictures while pulling out something from his pocket. I nodded. He flipped open a lighter, “They don’t exist, right?” I smiled lightly as he ignited the flame. “Let’s make it official.”

I reached into my suit jacket and pulled the pictures out of the inside pocket. I kept them face down because I didn’t want either of us to look at them again. I wanted that night to be remembered for the kindness and friendship Derek Morgan showed me, not because it was the last time I ever stared at those nightmarish photos. Morgan took the photos carefully from my grip and I watched as he held one of the corners over the flame. The photos took a moment to catch on fire, but once they did, Morgan lit another corner just to make sure it would keep going and not fizzle out half way through.

When the flame got too close and hot to his fingers, Morgan dropped them on the dirt ground. We stood shoulder to shoulder in silence for a minute until I finally found the courage to say what had been on my mind all day since we found them in Rebecca’s room.

“I’m going to tell him,” I whispered as we watched the photos burn. “I’m just scared.”

“Y/N.” I looked up at him. “Hotch loves you more than anything. He’ll listen and he’ll get it. There’s nothing to be scared of.”

“I don’t want to lose him because he thinks differently of me.”

“I swear to you, if that happens, I’ll shoot him myself.”

I laughed, “Well, that’s a little hyperbolic.”

Morgan reached over with both of his arms and he enveloped me in a warm hug. “You’re going to be fine.”

I wrapped my arms around Morgan’s chest and hid my face in his shoulder, “Thank you, Morgan.”

“Anytime, sunshine.”

The small fire died out as the photos were turned to nothing but ashes. It was like they never existed, which was exactly what I wanted. No one would ever see those photos again. They weren’t even a memory, if I were being honest. It happened, I moved on, yet they were exhumed for the purpose of hurting me again, and I just needed to get over it again. Time was the best way to heal before, and it would be again… as long as I had Hotch and Jack with me every step of the way. Knowing that I wasn’t alone anymore, that someone like Morgan got it, it helped tremendously; but Morgan was right, Hotch deserved to know why I was hurting because if anyone could help ease my suffering, it was the man I loved most. I didn’t have to be alone. I didn’t have to drown in my sorrows all over again like I did after high school. I had people who loved me and wanted to help me. All I needed to do was ask.

So I asked Morgan to drive me home as fast as he could before I could change my mind about it all. I watched the moon move in the opposite direction of us as he drove me back. The stars sparkled and the wind blew in my face as I stuck my head out the window and rested it on the windowsill. It was good to appreciate the smallest things like how nice the night was when our work consisted of so many terrible things. It was easy to lose faith in humanity and life if one got too caught up in the work and ignored the good that came out of it all. For instance, without the BAU, I would have never met Hotch and Jack. Without the BAU, I wouldn’t have found the closure I needed from that night in high school.. Without the BAU, I would have never met Morgan, Emily, Reid, Garcia, or JJ. The people I held most dear wouldn’t know me without the job we had. I had so much to be grateful for, and it all came from the opportunity I was given. I had to remember that every time a case took a toll on me or anyone else.

I thanked Morgan for showing me the foster home he was building and for driving me home afterwards. He insisted that it was no problem and if I ever needed a ride again, he’d be more than happy to lend a hand. I hit his arm playfully and told him that he had to get in line behind Hotch and his gun if he were ever going to get a chance with me. Morgan laughed and threw his hands up in surrender before I thanked him again and got out of his car. I watched as he drove off into the night to head back to his own home.

When the street was quiet, I headed into the house. The lights were off in the living room, kitchen, and dining room, but the hallway light up the stairs was on, meaning that both Hotch and Jack were upstairs. I circled back to the front door to set the alarm before heading upstairs. I dropped my bag off in the hallway just outside of Jack’s room and quietly knocked to see if he would respond. When there was no answer, I carefully opened the door to see if he was asleep or had headphones on while playing a game on his tablet. My heart melted as I saw Jack curled up under the blankets on his bed. He looked like he had been asleep for hours despite it still being fairly early in the night.

I snuck over and discreetly sat on his bed so as to not disturb him. I leaned down and kissed the top of his head, “Goodnight, little man.” I sat back up straight.

“He crashed as soon as we got home,” Hotch whispered from the doorway. “I think he had a longer day than we did.” I smirked while brushing Jack’s hair out of his face gently. “Are you okay?” he asked me. I shrugged and he tiptoed closer to me before taking a seat on the bed, too. “What’s wrong?” he snaked his arms around my waist and kissed my temple.

“I can’t get the sound of Tracey Belle’s mom crying out of my head. They were so worried about their daughter… I thought that Mrs. Belle was going to have a heart attack then and there on that sidewalk.” I sucked in a quiet but deep breath. “And all I could think about was how I’d die if anything happened to you or Jack. He doesn’t deserve the cruel touch this world can have.” I reached up to my face and wiped a tear that managed to escape before I could blink it away.

There was so much out there that Jack wasn’t prepared for, and he never would be. Hotch and I knew of every evil imaginable, it came with the territory of the job, but I never wanted Jack to have to face any of it. Worst of all, I didn’t want him to end up in a lonely situation like Tracey Belle went through… or the unthinkable, what I endured.

Hotch kissed my cheek, “We’re going to be okay.” He hummed against my ear as he rocked me back and forth slightly. “I promise that nothing will ever happen to us. I swear.”

I stood from Jack’s bed, took Hotch’s hand in mine, and began to lead him towards our bedroom. He followed without arguments or playfulness like he normally would. In our bedroom, Hotch sat down on the bed while I closed the door. For a moment, I continued to face the door, my back to Hotch, my mind racing with thoughts of how I was going to approach this.

When it came to Morgan, everyone found out before he could even say anything the way he wanted to, but now I had to come up with the right words to make sense of everything for Hotch. The worst part, though, was the anxiety of not knowing how he was going to react. There weren’t many people out there who could learn about something like what I went through and then go on like nothing happened. I didn’t want things to change. I liked how Hotch and I were. I liked how he loved me when he was trying to be romantic, how he got rough when he wanted to be dominant, how he knew exactly what I wanted without even having to ask. It was our thing, and it made me happy. But people had a tendency to treat survivors like they were fragile, and I wasn’t fragile. I was more than just what happened to me. I didn’t want Hotch to be scared to do things anymore because he knew about my past. I didn’t want him to stop loving me because he might think differently of me. But Morgan had a point… Hotch would eventually find out one way or another, so it was best if I just told him.

“Baby,” he whispered from the bed.

He never called me that. It wasn’t like we didn’t want to or anything, but we just… hadn’t… so when it took me by surprise, I felt my heart and stomach do simultaneous somersaults. I didn’t want to lose him. It was my worst nightmare to have the only man I had ever loved to look at me like he was mad or disappointed. I didn’t want that. But he seemed so worried about me, obviously, or else he wouldn’t have slipped up on the name. Or maybe it wasn’t a slip up at all and he just felt like it made sense to finally say it.

“What is it?” he asked me. I turned to face him. “Is this about me jumping in the dumpster? I said I’m sorry.”

I smirked and shook off a laugh. He wanted to cheer me up and brighten the mood, and it was working, but my nerves prevented me from acting normal, which only concerned him even more. So, while fidgeting with my fingers, I sat next to him on the edge of the bed while maintaining a safe distance from him. There was no doubt in my mind that Hotch was definitely profiling my behavior. I was quiet, distant, my eyes were looking anywhere but at him, and I was shaking like a chihuahua in the snow. Something was obviously wrong, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what other than the fact that what happened with Tracey Belle made me worry about Jack— but there was no reason for me to still be this worried about it when he had just calmed me down. So it was something else, he knew that much, and he was going to give me the time and space to say it however I saw fit.

“Do you remember how Randall Garner stole the jewelry box Elle gave me?” I asked quietly, still staring at the floor. I spotted Hotch nodding out the corner of my eye. “You remember I told you that there were supposed to be pictures inside—”

“I know, Y/N,” he interrupted before I could say more. I finally looked up at him with confusion plastered to my face. “Garcia found out about them, and you know how she is, she’s ridiculously protective of us all, and so she wanted to find the guy who blackmailed you, I guess. She didn’t find what the photos were, but… we connected the dots when we saw that he had at least ten other girls come forward against him, claiming that he did the same thing to all of them when he left for college.”

My eyes fell shut and I cringed. At least ten other girls. It should have ended with me, right, but that wasn’t how sociopaths like him worked. One victim just wasn’t enough to quench his thirst. Frank was the same way.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he took my hands.

“It was so long ago—”

“You don’t have to invalidate how you really feel about it.”

“I’m not.”

Hotch tilted his head to the side and gave me a look that said: “Seriously?” I shrugged. “Look at me,” he said before he gently grabbed my chin and made me stare at him. “What he did to you shouldn’t have happened, and I’m sorry that it did. But you didn’t have to be afraid to tell me and you don’t have to be scared to admit how you still feel about it. I need you to believe me when I tell you that it wasn’t your fault.”

He was right. I knew it. Both Morgan and Hotch had told me practically the same things, and yet it was still hard to believe them. At least this hasn’t gone as poorly as expected. I would definitely need to talk to Garcia about keeping her fast, little, hacker fingers off my past, but I was honestly glad that I didn’t have to say it. While I should have been mad at them for snooping around in business that didn’t concern them and should have been my right to tell them, it was a relief that I didn’t have to relive any of the memories by telling Hotch everything. It could just go unsaid and the healing process could begin with him by my side.

I escaped from his touch before letting my face fall into the crook of his neck. “Please don’t treat me any differently,” I begged quietly.

“I’m not going to,” he answered quickly while petting my hair.

I grabbed onto his shirt and twisted the fabric in my hands. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner imagines

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elencelebrindal · 4 years

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Honest Opinion - Wyvern Rhadamanthys

This is a pre-written entry. Due to personal reasons, there is a chance I will not be able to post anything else but the Three Judges. A slight chance, mind you, and maybe only for a week or so, but I wanted to tell you. And now, onto this shady wyvern with too many limbs to be a wyvern.

Also, name change alert! His name in the Italian dub is Radamante, which is basically the same name, but in Italian.

Uhm... there might be some slip ups of me commenting as I went. I normally do that when I write stuff down (and then delete everything), but I am not in the mood to keep an eye out for everything. I’m sorry about that, and hopefully it will just be funnier for you to read. If you see something in these [ ], that’s my commentary. Don’t take it too seriously.

Overall score (character, not looks): 10/10

You guessed it, I love my goth English gentleman here. I don’t know why, maybe because of all the fanworks around him, but the lone fact of him being a noble English gentleman just... I love it, but at the same time it makes me laugh because this man can crush you to tiny little pieces with his pinky finger. Anyway, back to the point.

I know he appeared in both the Sanctuary Chapter and the Inferno Chapter, but I will not be splitting this honest opinion like the Bronze Saints. Mostly because he’s the only Specter that really appears in more than one chapter, and I want to keep all the entries similar between them. So, let’s talk about his first appearance.

I loved the way he was introduced. Subordinate? Yes. Still demanding people to obey him? Absolutely yes. To me, despite feeling a little frustrated at him for disregarding Pandora’s orders, this described the character as it is. Later on in the show, we discover that Rhadamanthys is not a calm person. He’s not patient, and he gets violent very quickly (and on a Saint Seiya scale, that’s pretty high). His introduction, with him listening to Pandora but still doing as he pleases, summed him up pretty good.

And then, we see how powerful he is. There’s a lot of cases of characters who seem intimidating, but then are weak and useless. Rhadamanthys is not one of them. The “fight”, if we can even call it that, against Aphrodite and Deathmask started off this character completely. Yes, you can argue that those two were weaker than before they died, but I don’t think Pandora would send out the resurrected Saints to kill Athena if they were weak. Rhadamanthys not only brushed them off like nothing, but he destroyed them with the same exact technique Deathmask tried to use on him. A technique that didn’t work on him. Again, you can argue that maybe it didn’t work because Rhadamanthys is a Specter and not a normal human being (normal for a Saint standard, not normal normal), but if that was the case why would Deathmask use it on him? So, and I might go a little too much towards him, he has to be damn right powerful. He is one of the Three Judges of the Underworld, after all.

Now, with this part... yeah, he was definitely using the barrier around Hades’ castle in hi favor. Because he would never have won against three Gold Saints in their full power and vigor. Judge or not, no way he would have been able to overpower three Gold Saints. Especially not Milo, Aiolia and Mur together, since they all have different attack and defense techniques. But he played it smart, relied on the barrier, and guess what. He won. Half an episode later, and BOOM. Three Gold Saints sent straight into the Underworld. Dritti all’Inferno. One way ticket.

The absolute bullshit of him almost losing against our dear Bronze Saints, though? Yeah, no. They should have all died as soon as he used his Greatest Caution (I am very tired as of writing this, I don’t remember if that’s the actual English name or the original one), but apparently not even a technique like that can kill those four bastards. I rest my case, they should have died, end of the war because Rhadamanthys would have killed Shun as well. Well, maybe he could have survived Because of Hades. But still. All dead.

And this is why I am not taking away points from him. Normally, if a very powerful Saint, or Specter, or whatever loses (or, in this case, almost loses) against a weaker character, i take away some points. But what happened with Rhadamanthys and Pegasus (alongside the energy of his companions? This is too much bullshit already) was so obviously plot driven that I just cannot blame him for that. This was one of those instances in which you want to yell at the character that’s losing, but you just can’t. Like, physically just can’t.

But let’s continue.

First of all, his interaction with Lune was good. He didn’t belittle him or anything, on the opposite he got quite concerned upon seeing him like that, in so much distress. And then, of course, his interaction with Kanon. I loved how quickly he understood the real problem behind Lune freaking out, and honestly I don’t blame him for falling for Kanon’s technique [Fantasma dell’Oscurità, I forgot the English name dammit]. And the way he straight up said “oh, let’d fight later, my boss is more important than you” and teleported away. I just... I know that scene was to be taken seriously, but man it was funny. It was basically Rhadamanthys saying “you’re not worth my time, hit me up later”, and I loved it.

And now, we can get into one of the two scenes I loved the most about him. Can you guess it? [Yeah, they can, non hanno un solo neurone come me]

This part right here showed how clever and cautious (get it, ‘cause of the Greatest Caution? I’ll stop now) he is. This scene was, at least in my opinion, the one that showed us his full potential. It showed us the reason why he is in the position he is. And I know you’re going to say “but insert my name here, it’s obvious that he’s a Judge, look at his mythological counterpart” and you’re right. BUT there is a reason why he is still in the position he is. Rhadamanthys didn’t blindly trust Orphée [non azzeccherò mai gli accenti su sto nome], but kept his eyes open (quite literally) and didn’t fall for his strategy. Pandora, Minos and Aiacos all fell asleep, but Rhadamanthys? No, he acted carefully, and ended up not only getting rid of Seiya [best part of the show], but also killing Orhpée (through Seiya). Now that is what I call good work.

Onward to the next scene on my favorite list (but first let’s talk about what brought him there). First of all, remember when I said that yes he is powerful enough to overthrow [man, i sure hope that’s the right word] both Aphrodite and Deathmask without taking advantage of an outside factor? Well, it makes sense that Kanon got an almost insta-kill on him. Why? Because Kanon is one of the most powerful Saints out there, and Rhadamanthys is not [come si diceva onnipotente in inglese?] almighty. I liked that he got the shit beaten out of him, because I don’t like characters who always win. Also, Rhadamanthys getting so angry about the other two Judges cutting in? Brilliant. This character stayed true to his personality from start to finish.

But let me tell you. The scene that I loved the most about him. The last fight against Kanon.

His fear was so genuine. Sure, at first he belittled Kanon, laughed at him when he gave up the Cloth and still wanted to fight, but then? As soon as he realized Kanon was not fooling around, and was ready to die just to defeat him, that fear kicked in. Rhadamanthys, despite his rank, despite him technically not being that much alive to begin with, reacted like a proper human being. With pure, unadulterated fear. He was scared to the point of trying to talk it out with Kanon, dammit. That’s what I liked the most, that’s what truly made him tridimensional and real. That’s what made him one of my absolute favorite Specters of all time.

Well, that... and the fact he basically drinks on the job.

#saint seiya #i cavalieri dello zodiaco #los caballeros del zodiaco #os cavaleiros do zodiaco #knights of the zodiac #wyvern rhadamanthys #my opinion #honest opinion

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alwaysdowntohidewithyou · 4 years

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Florence Welch Interview

Transcript of Florence Welch’s interview with John Seabrook for the New Yorker Festival.

October 11th, 2019.

New York, NY.

Edited for clarity.

John Seabrook: I’m going to properly introduce you because I think a woman this accomplished needs a proper introduction. For those of you who read the New Yorker this week, let me assure you that I wrote this myself, no machine helping me. In ten years as a band, Florence and the Machine have released four chart topping, award winning studio albums. Lungs, 2009, Ceremonials, 2011, How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, 2015, and High as Hope last year. These many-layered works weave together a range of different styles, from the bands punky first single “Kiss With a Fist,” to the rich choral and percussive tapestries of songs like “Shake It Out,” to Neo-Soul such as “Where Is the Love” (sic), and to the startlingly honest lyrics of “Hunger.” Heartbreak and loneliness rarely feel as delightful and inviting as in a Florence Welch song. The music performs the very rare trick of remaining true to its indie roots while at the same time, sounding expansive and monumental. While British listeners sometimes look to Kate Bush as a musical antecedent, here in New York, we are maybe more inclined to think of Patti Smith, in her path-finding career as a poet who found a way to address the big issues of literature, death, love loneliness, and beauty in the idiom popular song. And we are especially inclined to think of you as following Patti tonight because you are literally sitting in the seat that Patti was warming only an hour ago.

The band has also released two live albums that established themselves as major festival headliners, with a sound big enough to fill the green fields of Glastonbury and deserts of Coachella—where the artist broke her foot performing in 2015. With lyrics intimate enough to touch each individual heart in the crowd of 100,000, Florence lent her extraordinary vocal talents to Calvin Harris’ “Sweet Nothing,” and her eye for clothes and visual imagery to the band’s 29 music videos. She has also recorded several outstanding covers including “Stand By Me,” “Tiny Dancer,” and Buddy Holly’s “Not Fade Away.” And finally, and most relevant to the discussion tonight, Florence is the author of this book, “Useless Magic,” which is a 2018 collection of her lyrics, poems, journal entries, and sketches, which will serve as our primary text for this evening. Here ends the introduction.

Florence Welch: (Laughs) Thank you so much for having me. Oh, British people find it really hard to hear the things that they’ve done.

J: I know, you’re so modest. It’s hard to hear all that.

F: Everyone’s cheering and I’m like, “Oh no.” This is my nightmare.

J: Let’s take a deep breath and not talk about your accomplishments any more.

F: Okay, good. That’s done, that’s done. (Laughs)

J: Let’s talk about—you’re on a bit of a hiatus at the present from touring. Can we start there? Talk about how that happened, where that came from.

F: Yeah, of course. Well, I definitely wanted to do the New Yorker, because I love the New Yorker so much. So, this was the last thing that I said yes to. I’m very glad I did, you guys are very loud! Yeah, the last—well, I’ve been touring, oh my gosh, I’ve been touring since I was twenty-one? And it is kind of a cycle of two years of—actually we did not stop touring between Lungs and Ceremonials, because we booked a U2 tour somewhere in the middle when we were supposed to be making the next record, and they were like, “You’ve got to do this. This is pretty big.” Like, oh. Okay. And you know, that was a big thing that helped get us going in America. But I was trying to make Ceremonials as well, so yeah, Lungs and Ceremonials was just sort of one—ugh, I don’t know how long that was. Like five years of touring?

And then I had a break. And it was also kind of a breakdown (laughs). Which is what happens when you don’t stop touring for five years. But actually, I don’t know. I don’t think that was because of the touring, I think it was then when the touring stopped, all the structures that I’d been using...with touring you’re kind of very taken care of, so you can be quite a high functioning fuck-up, which is what I was. Very high functioning, but so self-destructive and with such a lack of any will to take care of myself. People take care of you on tour. Like, if you show up and do the show, people get you dressed, and you ripped all your clothes, and they’ll carry you to a plane. The thing is that I never messed up any shows, which was weird. Like I would mess up hotel rooms, and my whole life, and my relationships, and blah blah blah. But never the shows, so, I don’t know what that was about (laughs).

Then I went back on tour for How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, after my break slash breakdown, and that was the first tour that I’d done sober and...yeah, it was amazing. The whole process of that record and kind of how heartbroken I was not just over a relationship, but also the breakdown of my relationship with partying and how those things that I thought defined me didn’t work anymore.

And this person really didn’t want to go out with me. Which now, in hindsight, I really don’t blame them for because I don’t know if you want to date someone who shows up at your house with a bottle of vodka shouting, “Why will you not go out with me?” And they’re like, “Because of this. All of this.” And I’m like, “I don’t understand!” Now I kind of really respect them for that. Like, “Oh wow, ‘cause like you had a sense of self, and you had self-respect, I get it!” But yeah, How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, was a huge healing process, and when I came to the end of it, I did this thing where I dove straight into making High as Hope. I think I’m a person who works in extremes, so again, I didn’t stop working for...I just didn’t stop. I don’t know how to relax. I think that’s probably clear, so I started making High as Hope immediately and that meant that the next tour came around really fast. Although I would say that these shows that I’ve just done have been my favorite I’ve ever done, I loved them.

J: Where were they?

F: Well, all over the world. They were in loads of different places. But it was again, like a year and a half of travel and I’m not a natural traveler. Like I’m not—

J: You don’t like flying I think? F: Oh my god, I’m so scared of flying. It’s the worst! I had hypnotism on it and it wore off (laughs). Nobody told me that hypnotism wears off! Or I just think my anxiety is so powerful that it destroyed the hypnotism. It like, defeated it. I remember reading that the lead singer of The Liars is also really afraid of flying. I think it could be a lead singer thing as well, ‘cause you think that you are the center of the universe and if something really dramatic and catastrophic is going to happen, it should happen to you. So I think there’s a level of ego involved with the fear of flying that I’m hoping in time, I will dismantle.

I find travel in itself, and being away—especially without kind of the crutch of, you know, partying—I get lonely and it’s hard. Although I love the shows and performing, it’s such a big part of me, I...after this tour, I was just worn out by the travel. I was like, I just need to not get on planes for awhile, and I really need to just stay in one place, and try and be like, a human, because although performing runs in my veins, touring is so monotonous, and it starts to feel like you’re losing your mind—and I don’t have much left to lose. So I need it.

J: And there really isn’t any better way to do it probably, right?

F: I keep wondering. I was like, to my manager, “I’m thirty-three, I can’t sleep on a bus anymore!” She’s like, “This is how it is.” You know, I keep trying to think of ways to make it more holistic, but we’ve tried everything and there’s just no getting around the travel because people want to see you, and I’m so lucky to have the fan base in so many places that I do, and I appreciate people and I want to see them. But it means you’re going to have to sleep on a moving vehicle. Which is fucking weird (laughs). When you’re not passed out drunk it’s weird.

J: It’s not like, you curl up in your bunk and the bus takes off and you wake up in the next place the next morning?

F: I don’t know, my brain is so juttery anyway, like sleeping on something that is juttery is a nightmare for me. When I’m trying to sleep on a bus, I’m already someone who tends to get really stuck in their head, and my head is a place that rattles around, so to be in the actual physical representation of that every night, is like a nightmare. I’ve always had a hard time sleeping since I was a kid, and I’m a really light sleeper, always kind of dreaming. I don’t know if I ever get that deep, so yeah. Some things are easier when you can just pass out drunk.

J: Right. We’ll get to that part. Let’s jump back to the beginning of your career. We’re talking about a decade here, so it’s really not a great deal of time but you hit the ground running. I thought we would sort of go through your life by talking about a few songs and your professional life. We’re gonna start with “Dog Days Are Over,” which isn’t the first single I think from the album. I think—

F: “Kiss With a Fist,” yeah.

J: In a way, this is the second single, but perhaps ultimately the bigger hit from the album. I’m not sure, but I feel like this is a song where you first discovered your sound? Or at least for me, I feel like this is where I first heard your sound. Maybe for a lot of us. So I wondered if you could talk about how this song happened, and the lyrics are up here. We can talk about a few of those too. But talk a little, generally, about where this song came from, and how it fit into what work you’d been doing at the time.

F: Ehm, what was I doing? I think I was still at art college, and I—or maybe I’d dropped out?

J: You were at Camberwell College of the Arts, for one year.

F: I wasn’t a very committed art student. I made a lot of installations. I already loved patterns and fabrics and fake flowers and I’d make these big installations, and then kind of sleep in them, and pretend it was an art piece—I was just really hungover. Like, “It’s art! It’s definitely art. Don’t touch it!” I was making flyers for the first Florence and the Machine shows using the photocopier. So I’m sorry for the use of supplies and then not handing anything in.

I’d met Isa of “Isa Machine” fame. She is amazing and we kind of grew up together. She used to babysit my cousin, and then we kind of lost touch. So in South London, for awhile there was a big art collective that squatted the buildings that I lived really near, so when I was a teenager I used to break into all the squat parties, and they would bring all these christmas trees, and everyone would be wearing like, bin bags and crazy outfits, and I was like, “Oh I found them! I found my people!” I was at one of those parties and Isa was there. She was the DJ. She called herself “Laydee Isa,” but it had like seven E’s and seven Z’s. She was like “Oh, I used to babysit your cousin!” And I was like, “Heeey!” I was kind of out of it, I think. She said she had a studio, and that I should come down and make a song.

At the time, there were so many boys in bands. It was around that time of The Libertines, and The White Stripes, and The Strokes—it was a very band oriented time. So I had been writing some songs but because everything was on guitar, and I didn’t know how to play guitar, I just assumed that I would be a singer in someone else’s band, or I’d be a front-woman. I think there was a kind of internalized self-doubt as well. I know I’m not a trained musician. I didn’t have the attention span to sit and learn the piano, or the focus. I was good at singing. I think my attention span doesn’t work...I was like, “I’m already good at this thing.” I could never focus enough to properly learn, which I really regret, actually. I really regret that. So I didn’t have the sort of—I didn’t have the idea that I could make my own band basically. I thought I would be a front-person for someone else’s, but then I started writing songs, and there were so many guitarists about, and that’s how I wrote “Kiss With a Fist.”

They were kind of little gothic fairytales. There’s so much guilt and drama involved—I don’t know what I was. It was kind of like, I think I was already trying to process...I just think from an early age, I felt so much shame, and I don’t really know why. I don’t know where that came from. I think those songs were a way of trying to process what I felt was wrong about me, and through these metaphors—like, this idea that you’d done something terrible, but a bird has seen you do it. So you get the bird, and kill the bird and you eat it so that it can’t tell anybody what you did. I don’t know what the fuck I was doing. But then, you go to sleep, and you’re like, “It’s fine, I got the guy, I’m good.” But when you wake up, you try to speak, and all that comes out of your mouth is the bird singing what you did, and that’s the only thing you can say—which is so dark for a nineteen year old. I think I was just snogging people I wasn’t supposed to or something. But even before, I always felt sort of sensitive as a kid, and I don’t know. I felt like other people had a ticket to kind of get through life that I didn’t know. And how did you get that thing? And everyone seems to have a map, and I don’t. I think these songs were a way of trying to express through these little metaphors how it felt. I was already really obsessed with death in the way that you are as a teenager, and kind of imagining my own funeral all the time. I put these songs with guitars, ‘cause that’s what was around, so that would be like “Birdsong,” in which I wrote with Dev Hynes of Blood Orange. ‘Cause there were so many musicians about—like Kid Harpoon was around, Dev was playing with the Test Icicles at the time, and you could kind of play with anyone. Me and Dev were just sitting in the top room of a pub, and we kind of came up with that song just before we did a show together. That’s kind of how I would make the songs with whoever was around. Isa was sort of the first person who gave me the instrument, who was like, “Why don’t you just try and do something on this?” We called it the “shit keyboard,” it cost like 100 pounds, it was a Yamaha. It burned in a fire!

J: Before or after you used it?

F: After! It burned in a fire. She was the first person who—I think as well because she was another young woman, I think, as a female songwriter...I don’t know if this comes from, like—I had to kind of unlearn deference. I had to really stop deferring. That’s something that’s quite hard, especially when most of the people I was writing with were male. I was instinctively deferring because I was a young woman. I think with Isa, we were kind of the same age, and we kind of bossed each other around! There wasn’t any sort of power imbalance or anything. So she handed me this keyboard and she’s like, “Just do what you want.” The first song that I actually wrote, which you can tell because it’s just an ascending scale, was “Between Two Lungs,” and that was kind of the first thing that sort of felt like it really came truly from me. I was so excited by that, then that the next song we wrote was “Dog Days.” That was like, the first two. They’re not the most complicated chords, but because I never fucking played anything, I thought they were amazing! I was just like, “I’m making this sound? Can you hear this?” Like yeah, it’s fucking piano. It makes that sound for everybody. But because I was the one getting to put them in order and stuff, I just thought like, “This sounds incredible.” She only had like a little...it was in Crystal Palace, which is in South London, we didn’t really have any equipment. We stole drums from someone. The sound of the drums—which I now realize is the same beat as “People Have the Power” (Claps hands to “Dog Days'' percussive rhythm). Which is what we were doing in Patti’s show. We used pens and stuff, and it was kind of, the feeling of that song just came from a lot of enthusiasm, but not really any skill or equipment. So, that’s how it came about.

J: Can I ask you a little bit about the words in the song? “Happiness hit her like a train on a track,” and then later, “happiness hits her like a bullet in the back.” Is it happiness that’s chasing her here? Because it sounds like a celebratory song. Like, the dog days are over and now we’re gonna have some fun! But then it seems like happiness is the thing that’s after her.

F: Well it kind of always was in my mind because I would have such extreme feelings of joy but then I would end up staying out for like three days, so the happiness would always come back down to just terror and panic. I also think that my joy and excitement switch is very close to my panic switch, and I sometimes I don’t know which one is going to go. I think somehow I also equated—I was very mistrustful of happiness, and I think already by the time I was writing the song, I was a very messy person. Not like, untidy, but kind of messy emotionally. I think I’d already done quite a lot of damage to myself and others by that time. We start young in England. By the time I wrote this song, I think I was already, like...yeah, happiness hit her, like a bullet in the back, struck from a great height, by someone who should’ve known better than that. It was sort of like, I didn’t deserve this. You should know better, and I also knew I wanted to be a singer and a performer, and there is this sense that you’ve been struck from a great height, but you are the fucking wrong person (laughs).

J: Huh… okay (laughs). Let’s go from there into writing songs versus writing poetry, because the book is mainly songs, but actually there are poems in the back, and the preface has this interesting line, which I will read. “The act of singing gives the most mundane words and phrases reverence and glory, you can make a shrine out of anything.” I was just wondering, are there certain poems that don’t become songs, and why? Is there something that makes it a song, and something that makes it a poem?

F: I think the first things that I ever started writing when I was a kid was poetry. I mean it wasn’t good, but when I was seven or eight, I was writing poetry. Then I think when I started to think about actually writing my own poetry—like High as Hope is actually an album formed out of poems to begin with. It was a friend of mine called Robert Montgomery who was...he’s a poet, but also a visual artist, and he takes his poems and he turns them into big art pieces with neon lights, and he had said to me, “I think you’re a poet, and I think you should try and write some poetry.” So with that encouragement, I was like, “Okay, okay. I’ll try.” The first thing that I wrote, that wasn’t consciously in mind as a song, but it was a poem, was just a list of things that I thought I couldn’t put into a song.

J: That’s in here! That’s very interesting.

F: Yeah, it’s about getting kicked out of Topshop for drinking Rosé in the changing rooms. I was like, “I don’t know. It doesn’t sing well. So I guess it’s going here.”

J: But you also said in this poem that is not a song, “I’m not sure I can put these things into a song, these muddy trinkets, not beautiful enough. Too bloody and ragged. I always felt the songs should transcend the swamp.” F: Yeah, I think there was a way that I could use metaphor and my imagination to kind of beautify the things that had happened to me, or that I’d done, and in a way kind of own them. Like, when I talk about giving things reverence, I never wanted to actually have the songs written down because I thought that if you saw how sometimes ordinary some of the words are—like the word “kitchen sink” is in “Dog Days,” but when you’re singing something you’re turning it into a hymn almost. You’re giving it a spiritual quality, so I was worried that if the songs were written down, they would maybe lose that. So when I was writing, and I know it’s a song, I feel as if there’s a character or something that’s coming through me that’s bigger than me, and has very big ideas. It’s quite clear on things, kind of understands the bigger questions and I just have to let it happen. So when I was writing poetry, it was a different voice, and it felt like it was almost an even more personal voice because these things were just going to stay on the page. They weren’t going to be viewed with the grandeur of song. They were just going to live there, and who is that person? The drunk Topshop person?

J: You even talked about that—“This new voice, this me voice, is it conversational? Confessional?” Actually there is a poem (New York Poem (for Polly)) I put up here. This is one of the poems from the book. It’s a beautiful poem and it also has your parents and New York in it. So I thought it would give us a jumping off point for your parents. Your mother and father both appear in several of your songs, and have been part of your life. Your mother is a renaissance scholar...

F: Yeah, she is. She’s very smart.

J: And what’s her focus? What’s her specialty?

F: Her focus is the renaissance, above all else. I think even in our childhood her focus was definitely the renaissance (laughs). She’s written four or five books on renaissance studies. It’s funny, she’s always having...she’s always horrified by my exquisitiveness (sic), and how much I love clothes, and bags. But I’m like, “You write books on renaissance shopping, and when we go to museums, I have to stop you from touching things. You love stuff too! Just stuff in the past.” So she’s very interested in what people wore, and textiles, and how people shopped, so she’s read a lot of books about that. And I love shopping too, mom!

J: Didn’t she say to you, when you said you could remember every single outfit you wore, “What a horrible waste of a brain?”

F: (Laughs). I was like, “Oh, you know how I remember things mom? I remember things by what outfit I wore.” She went, “Oh what a waste of your brain.” I was dyslexic as a kid, and she’s worked so hard to get into the upper echelons of academia, and she just keeps getting more and more titles that I can’t even remember now.

J: She’s a provost.

F: Oh, she’s a provost! She’s a provost, yeah, but it just keeps going up. So I don’t know—

J: Dean?

F: No, she’s been that, yup. But I think it’s higher now.

J: So what’s next, chancellor?

F: I think that’s next! But she’s such an impressive person; she would tell me that when I was a baby she was trying to finish papers, or finish books, and she would rest me on a photocopier—it seems like me and my mum both love photocopiers. She just kept working, but I think...none of her children went into academia, and she’s a huge advocate for higher education. That was something that...I was really dyslexic when I was in school, and I couldn’t spell and I struggled at school. I mean, I still don’t think I can do my times tables. Numbers is like a foreign language to me. She’s very staunch; she’s so within herself. She’s incredibly strong, she’s been through so much. I always felt like I was unacademic, emotional, and creative, and sometimes she would look at me as if she had given birth to an octopus. Like, “What is this thing?” I always really looked up to her though, for her drive and her work ethic, and how much she...we’re both very hard workers, I think. I definitely got that from her. And obviously her love of the renaissance has affected me (laughs).

J: And your father comes from, well a journalism family, right? His father was the editor of The Spectator?

F: He was the editor of The Telegraph. I think maybe and The Spectator. I think maybe both, yeah.

J: Okay. And he was a frustrated writer? Or a wishy was-writer, became an advertising guy?

F: Yeah, I think my father is incredibly charming and charismatic and he should have been a performer, really. He is a sort of poet as well, and he was always so imaginative, and would tell me stories when I was a kid that he would then...he was like, “I’m writing a book now!” He moved to Russia when I was fourteen to write a Russian crime novel that my mother tries to pin all my therapy on. Like, I think there’s other stuff. Like not just Dad moving to Russia to write a spy novel, I think there’s other things at play.

J: Did that in fact have a big effect on you?

F: I don’t think it was just that (laughs). I think she’s deflecting slightly. He’s a really creative person and actually he was much more encouraging of me going into the arts. My mother was so desperate for me to go to university. She just didn’t see music. She saw music as a dangerous career, it wasn’t a “forever” career, she was worried I was going to get hurt. She was like, “Get a degree, get some stability, and then do your music thing.” She would, every time I got paid, be like, “It’s not forever money. Put that away.”

But my father, he was always—I mean they’re divorced, so they were like two sides of, you know—they had very different opinions about lots of things. So they didn’t work together. He’s a true bohemian at heart, and he tour-managed us for our whole tour that we did with MGMT around Europe, and England. He did it in his camper-van! MGMT offered us this tour, and it was the first tour we’d ever got. It was a huge break for us actually. We didn’t have any money, and we couldn’t afford a tour bus, so my dad took his sundance camper-van, and we drove all the way around Europe! I mean, MGMT are out there, but I think they thought we were really crazy. So we would just show up there, pots and pans clanking, like, “We’re here!” The first show we did—I mean, I did the show as an early, pre-Lungs era shows where I’d be wearing one of Rob’s t-shirts, drunk and screaming and that was the show. It was excellent (laughs). Then I fell off some speaker stacks. We all had to share a dressing room, as well. That was really cute. Then MGMT came off stage after that show, and they all came off stage, and they’re all like, “Oh my god. The ghost Andy Worhol was in the fucking audience.” Then my dad walked in.

J: Oh, that was your dad? F: It was my dad! Because he had this grey hair, and he kind of dressed as an Andy Worhol, and was right up front. I was like, “Yeah, this is my father, who is managing us.” Then I moved from the tour bus, and then I brought my girlfriend on tour with me. I was like, “Yeah, just come with us!” We got banned from MGMT’s tour bus for being a bad influence (laughs). Which, if you know MGMT, that’s a big achievement.

J: Yeah, that’s a big achievement. Congratulations! Well that gets me into the next subject, which is drinking. Which we both have in common.

F: (Laughs) J: So after the success of Lungs, you were thrown into the world of success and fashion. In particular, you became a darling of fashion. You did the costume ball—anyway, when you read your interviews from that time, you bragfully...in interviews you’re falling apart! You’re drinking at your hotel—you set your hotel room at the Bowery hotel on fire? But the bar bill was more than the hotel damage cost!

F: Yeah, it is (laughs).

J: Anyway, I guess it’s not surprising that with this life came drinking, but it got to a point where it was not manageable.

F: Yeah, I remember waking up and I mean, when you wake up and there’s a huge flame mark on the side of your room, but you’ve been asleep in that room, and you’ve got to figure out where it came from, you’re like, “Was there a fire? And I slept through it? Dope.” Like that is really...I called my publicist at the time, and was like, “Something’s happened!” He was like, “Oh my god, yes, ‘cause there’s a huge bill on my credit card.” I was like, “I think it was the fire.” That was the bar tab. The fire was cheaper than the bar tab.

It was hard. I’ve grown up in South London, and that whole scene is like punk on a pirate ship, it’s sort of pirate folk, and everyone fends for themselves, and the whole gig is like an extended drinking game where you just have to play in the middle. And the game carries on. It was just like an interlude. That is the scene that I grew up in, and I was kind of insecure, I think, about singing pop music.

J: In your family? F: Just in general, and I kind of thought as a way to subvert that, I would just party the hardest. I think as it was a very kind of male dominated scene—like the indie scene that I came up in—it was also a way to kind of outdo everyone. I was very proud of the fact that I could drink as much—and more—than all of the guys. I was the only woman on the first NME tour, and we were opening and they were fucking terrified of me. I think I came into the second show with a black eye, dressed as a bat, jumping off things. I think that’s kind of what I understood, that that was rock and roll, and if you couldn’t go the hardest, you were letting rock and roll down. You were letting these legendary people down.

I was someone who struggled with hangovers, just because I could go...I had insane endurance, but also people would come up to me who I thought were the craziest drinkers and drug-takers I’d ever met, and be like, “Woah. You go harder than anyone I’ve ever met!” I was like, “Oh my god.” But I’ve always had a lot of energy, but I think really why I would stay out for so long is my...you know that sense of shame I spoke about in the beginning? That was there before any of the drinking and the drugs. I already had that. Then to escape that, you know, it would give me an escape from that, but the things I did, or the things I would say, or the way I would treat people just confirmed the way that I felt as a kid. It was just like, you are bad. There is something wrong with you, and then I would carry on trying to escape it in that way, but it would just keep getting worse.

My psyche is pretty fragile; I’m not actually someone who should have a lot of stimulants. They gave me a vitamin shot today, and I’m like, “I’m fucked. I’m high on vitamins! I’m going to have to go to hospital for vitamin overdose!” That’s from a b12 shot. So I don’t know what I thought I was doing when I was partying. Some people are tough, I’m kind of a fragile person. I have a fragile sense of self. The hangovers that I had didn’t seem normal, they were like, “I’m dying. I can’t think, I can’t breathe, like I feel like my skin is—” Maybe it’s ‘cause I drank more than everyone else? I don’t know, but it’s a particular quality that was telling me this does not work for me, but I kept doing it, again and again, and it was always the same feeling. You’ve been doing that in whatever way since you were fourteen, and by the time you get to 27, it’s just—ugh. I didn’t want to feel that way anymore, and it was so repetitive. At some point, the fun bit had gone. As much as I tried to get it back, I just couldn’t. When the fun goes, I’m sorry to tell you if any of you are umming and ahhing, it does not come back. The first year that I stopped, I felt like I’d really lost a really big part of who I was, and how I understood myself. I also felt like I was letting down rock and roll history ‘cause I couldn’t cope. I had to kind of rebuild from scratch a little bit. The thing is that now, I don’t know, it’s almost like the idea of rock and roll that we had...we’ve seen it so many times, it doesn’t end well. I don’t want to be part of that story. J: The 27 year old story.

F: Yeah, I was 27 when I stopped and my mum, literally the speech she gave at my party, where I’d arrived already out of my mind drunk; like I was on the table and she was trying to make a speech. She was like, “Please, just keep her alive. Please.” I laughed about it at the time, but if I think about it now it makes me feel so sad for my mum and how scared she must have been. I feel like at that point there’s...this poem is kind of about that, because I felt like there was a split, there is the person who carried on partying, and didn’t come back. So there’s this ghost version of me. Then there was the person who got to carry on living, and doing the things that I’ve done. It really feels much more rock and roll than anything I ever did when I was drinking. I was doing shows, and connecting with people, and that to me—especially with everything going on in the world—to be conscious and to be present and to really feel what’s going on, even though it’s painful, it feels much more like a truly reborn spirit of rock and roll. It feels like that’s what it should be about right now.

J: The last album was sober, and this song is a remarkable song. It’s maybe not specifically about drinking, but it’s confessional nature I think is what’s a part of whatever transformation you went through. So could you have written [Hunger] as a drinking person? Or do you feel something changed in your songwriting?

F: Oh my god, no. I could have never, ever. I don’t think I could have written this song. I couldn’t have even written this for How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful. In the recording of How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, I was sober but a lot of the songs weren’t sober because I’d written them when I was drinking, so it was like trying to pull things that were just a big mess. Like, “Okay.” I was in a terrible state. In your first year of your sobriety you’re just insane. So I definitely couldn’t have written it then, but sort of four years down the line, what started to happen was I decided to see underneath—’cause when you’re out there drinking there’s so much surface chaos. You literally can’t see beyond what you did last night as you’re trying to clean that up, and make sure nobody finds out what happened, and who saw? And was there a camera phone? You’re just living in this constant...you can’t ever get any further than the drama that just happened yesterday. So after some time, and some time getting to re-know myself, I started looking at the stuff that was underneath that, that was at the core of it. That’s when I felt able to write this song. I think also I just wasn’t so ashamed of myself at the time. When you’re drinking like I was, you carry around so much shame, and so much of that has lifted that I felt able to say and be honest about things that I just never, ever would have.

When I was really in disordered eating, I would make pacts to myself every night that I will never tell anyone. That was the thing. You can carry on what you’re doing, but you can never tell. Living with that kind of—

J: You kept that promise, because I think when your sister saw this song, she read the first lines, and said she never knew.

F: No, she didn’t. Like, my mum didn’t know. My sister was like, “You better tell mom. You’re putting this out as a big pop song.” I was terrified. I was so scared. I luckily had really good people around. I had my manager, Hannah Giannoulis; she heard this song, and she… I was doing it as a thought experiment. I was never going to release it. I was like, “This is an experiment. This is not for public consumption.” And she heard it, and was like, “This is a really important song.” I was really scared. I was so scared of anger. I’m really bad with anger anyway, but I think it’s because I have so many years of internalized anger against myself for what I was doing, or the way I was behaving that to say it, I expected anger. I expected people to be furious with me for putting something like this out there in a song. I tried to put it off, I pushed back the whole touring schedule. Actually when it was released, people were so kind. I don’t think I gave people enough credit. It was so liberating and it changed me as a performer actually, because once you’ve said your most shameful thing, it’s almost like you’ve got nothing left to lose. So the performances just became so much more open and free, and also when the people who listen to your music accept you at your worst, it is the most beautiful thing. I felt so connected with people on this tour. I’m so grateful to everyone.

#florence welch #florence + the machine #fatm #edited for clarity aka removing florence's adorable rambling that she always does while she collects her thoughts #i love this interview so so much but the quality is pretty poor and therefore pretty inaccessible to non-fluent engl speakers and hoh people #so i put my typing skills to work #if there are any other interviews you'd like transcribed let me know!#this is how i'm putting off writing oof oof oof #also really cant tell if she's saying mom or mum? it sounds like when shes referring to her she says mum #but then if shes speaking to her its mom

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mllemaenad · 5 years

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Why is everybody keep forgetting that elves had quite some forces and were not some helpless souls? Why do ppl forget that it's their own racism that initially caused the war in the Dales? Why everybody dismisses Minaeves' story about how her clan treated the unwanted mages? I mean Chantry sucks big time, but can we please stop making elves into some magic creatures that only do good. They do not. None of the races and religions in Dragon Age is perfect, yet one has a particular bias from fandom

Hi Anonymous person.

Um. Sorry, but … what? That’s … a lot of vitriol. I’m … going to do this point by point.

Why is everybody keep forgetting that elves had quite some forces and were not some helpless souls?

No one is claiming that the elves were ‘helpless’ in the sense that they were children, or somehow unable to fight. Elven sources are a bit spotty, for solid ‘in universe’ reasons, but there’s enough on the Emerald Knights to understand that they kicked some serious arse.

But. By the time Orlais set its sights on the Dales, it had already steamrolled over a bunch of other nations, effectively doubling its original size.

The grand nation of Orlais occupies a full quarter of the Thedosian continent and extends its influence far beyond its shifting borders. In ages past, Orlais flexed its military muscle, threatening territory belonging to Nevarra and Tevinter and outright invading Ferelden. One could argue that the Emperor or Empress of Orlais, regardless of competency, is the second most powerful person in Thedas – the first, of course, being the Divine.

…

Together, the two [Kordillus Drakon and Area Montlaures] transformed Orlais from a few squabbling clans controlling their own city states into an empire. Hand in hand, they conquered well into modern-day Ferelden and Nevarra, stamping out any worship of the Old Gods as well as lingering Alamarri and Ciriane Deities.

– World of Thedas Volume II

Sure, we have an account of the massacre of a pacifist nation (note that they are also vilified by the text, even though they are literally ‘helpless souls’ being overrun and slaughtered by an empire), but that is going to be the exception to the rule. Most of these ‘squabbling clans’ would have had warriors and fortifications. It didn’t matter. Orlais invaded, defeated them, forced them to convert – and absorbed the survivors. The Orlesian empire is The Blob.

Do you … not get how massive this thing is? A quarter of Thedas is under direct Orlesian control. That’s what came for the Dales. An almost endless supply of soldiers and weapons and supplies against one newborn nation. That’s what’s so scary about empires, once they get going: they can take the resources of the people they conquered yesterday – including the bodies of the actual people to be used as soldiers or workers – and use them against you today.

So yeah: big picture, they were ‘helpless souls’ being knocked down by the biggest bully in Thedas. They put up a hell of a fight – even took Montsimmard for a while – but they didn’t have the resources of an empire to sustain them, so they were screwed.

Why do ppl forget that it’s their own racism that initially caused the war in the Dales?

Okay so … racism. I feel like I keep saying ‘empires are bad’ and ‘conversion by the sword is bad’ and … these are somehow controversial statements that people want to refute? That’s … just a little bit scary, you know?

The elven people quite famously worked with humans. Specifically with the Alamarri rebels who took down the Tevinter Imperium. You know: Andraste?

At Shartan’s word, the sky

Grew black with arrows.

At Our Lady’s, ten thousand swords

Rang from their scabbards,

A great hymn rose over Valarian Fields gladly proclaiming:

Those who had been slaves were now free.

– Shartan 10:1.

– Dark Moon

There’s even a whole fucking verse about Shartan and his people making a bloody suicide run on the entire Tevinter army to try to rescue Andraste:

The Liberator drew the blade at his side

And charged the pyre, the freedom of the Prophet before his eyes,

But from the legion came a storm of arrows

Blacker than night. And the disciple who had fought side by side

With the Lady fell, along with a hundred of his People.

And among the Alamarri ten thousand swords fell to the ground in a chorus of defeat.

– World of Thedas Volume II

That’s pretty heroic! And pretty tragic! Elven slaves and human rebels standing side by side, fighting an empire. Winning, in the end, although at great cost. And yet what you’re trying to tell me is that the elves are ‘racist’ (also: not a great word to use in reference to an oppressed people because racism requires social power) rather than, say, justifiably worried about the growing power of a nascent empire?

He [Kordillus Drakon] began his holy quest at the ripe old age of sixteen by taking to the battlefield. At the time, each clan had its own variety of the cult of Andraste, its own rituals, traditions and versions of Andraste’s words. Young Drakon unified them by the sword.

– World of Thedas II

Orlais is aggressive and fanatical. It is running around slaughtering people who disagree with its religious beliefs. If you are a non-Andrastian nation sitting more-or-less on the Orlesian border, watching other nations fall and be forcibly converted – and those people just believed different things about Andraste – you have to know what’s coming. This really only goes one way. Are you really going to call closing your borders and prepping for conflict ‘racism’? Is that really the word you want to use?

Halamshiral, “the end of the journey,” was our capital, built out of the reach of the humans. We could once again forget the incessant passage of time. Our people began the slow process of recovering the culture and traditions we had lost to slavery.

But it was not to last. The Chantry first sent missionaries into the Dales, and then, when those were thrown out, templars. We were driven from Halamshiral, scattered. Some took refuge in the cities of the shemlen, living in squalor, tolerated only a little better than vermin.

– The Dales

Relations broke down completely when the Chantry sent missionaries. Because of course they did. The fact that Orlais fundamentally does not believe in religious freedom is the very thing that the elves are afraid of. It is also, you know, a pretext. Provocation meant to push the elves so they start something and Orlais can say it was their fault. There is almost always a pretext. The empire says it’s coming in to resolve a local conflict, or they’re dealing with an incident on the border, or they’re ‘liberators’. And then they stay. And they take.

Do you really mean to blame the elves for being conquered?

Why everybody dismisses Minaeves’ story about how her clan treated the unwanted mages?

No one has forgotten or dismissed Minaeve. Everyone is keenly aware that – on a meta level – Bioware did some quite ugly retconning in Inquisition to make both elves and mages look less sympathetic. Many people have noted that Minaeve’s story is the exact opposite of Lanaya’s story, and that neither Velanna nor Merrill talk about anything like that. Nevertheless, it is raised at least three times in Inquisition: by Minaeve, by Vivienne and by The Iron Bull. So yes, that is a deliberate retcon made at a late stage in the series in order to allow people to do exactly what you’re doing: yell that the elves are ‘just as bad’. It’s gross.

In universe, of course, it’s worth noting that Minaeve was seven when this happened. Whatever it was, it was terrible – but it may not have been what she thought. It’s also worth noting that the Dalish are wandering nomads with few resources, under constant threat from humans in general and templars in particular, and if they did find themselves forced to throw one mage child to the templars to protect the rest – that is fucking horrible, but says more about the world Orlais has created than it does about the elves.

But I have to ask – why do you think it’s so important that everyone remember a twenty-second pro-templar conversation with a minor character, instead of extensive conversations about elven society and losses with Merril and Velanna? Those are two grown women who have lived their whole lives as Dalish and have a keen understanding of the culture of their clans. Or whole novels about Fiona and Briala, respectively the leaders of the mage and elven rebellions?

I know the novels are supplementary material so I’m certainly not blaming anyone for being unfamiliar with them. But if there were things I wish people could always remember when talking about the elves – it would be those stories of oppression and revolution.

I mean Chantry sucks big time, but can we please stop making elves into some magic creatures that only do good. They do not. None of the races and religions in Dragon Age is perfect, yet one has a particular bias from fandom.

It’s … interesting that you brought ‘race’ into this. Because I didn’t. I haven’t been writing criticisms of ‘humans’. I’ve left the Rivaini alone; usually mentioned Fereldans favourably; I haven’t been talking about Antiva or Nevarra. They haven’t come up.

I was talking about the aggression of the Orlesian empire and its Chantry. The elves were brought up as possibly the people who have lost the most to Orlesian aggression. They’re certainly the best sourced of those people. I’ve talked about the Chasind and Avvar where I can (humans!). I’ve talked about dwarves and Qunari. I bring up the Daughters of Song and the Disciples of Andraste where I can, because I have references for them. I know that a whole lot of other cultures were destroyed by Drakon and his Chantry – but alas, I can’t say anything meaningful about them because there are no codex entries, in game dialogue or other reference materials for them.

Of course the elves are not ‘perfect’. While Zathrian’s rage is understandable, his decision to keep the curse going even when it began to threaten his clan was terrible. Merril’s clan was far too easily led to bully and exclude her; they were her family and someone should have stood up for her. Historically, the Dales probably made a mistake staying out of the Second Blight. I mean – I get it. The Blight softened up Tevinter enough to let the rebels take it down. It could have worked again against Orlais. But in retrospect – bad idea. Didn’t work.

Those are just examples. Of course there are more. But it doesn’t matter. That an elven character fucked up at some point does not change the fact that they face racial persecution as non-humans (and are pretty clearly coded as a combination of indigenous, Jewish and Romani people), that they face religious persecution as non-Andrastians and that the Orlesian empire stole their land and forced them into slums.

And I note all of this because of the … tenor of your Ask. Had you said something like “This elven stuff is great, but I’d like to chat about how the dwarves are basically facing an apocalypse and no one will help them, and also wouldn’t a story about a casteless revolution be great?” I would have said “Yes! Let’s talk about that!” Had you said something like “Isn’t it fucked up that the Qunari are treated largely as savage invaders, operating as an ‘Other’ it’s okay to hate?” I would have said “Yes! Yes, it is!”

But … this reads like a list of ‘reasons why people should stop pretending the elves don’t deserve to be oppressed’. And … somehow equates ‘Orlesians’ with ‘humans’?

I mean – surely you aren’t saying that our sympathies should not be with the frequently enslaved minority group who are forced to live as second class citizens in appalling slums, and who have been forcibly converted to a religion they don’t want to follow … but rather with the empire that took everything from them?

Because … I really hope not.

#dragon age #chantry critical #Anonymous

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darkzorua100 · 5 years

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In works of fiction, one of the hardest things to do isn’t so much as writing a solid story but trying to find a way to end it with a satisfying conclusion. It could be a happy, sad, or all of the above as long as it fits the story that you have building up to at this point. After all, this is the last thing your viewers are going to be seeing. The last big take away before they have to move on. What is going to be the legacy of this fiction? A ending can make or break a series after all. Just look at Yu-Gi-Oh ARC-V for example. Looking back at it, it was such a groundbreaking entry into the Yu-Gi-Oh franchise for being the first series to make all the Extra Deck Summoning Mechanics relevant to the story instead of pushing them off to the side for the newest one in Pendulum at the time. It was a huge nostalgia trip by paying homage to the past series that came before it from using their locations for the different dimensions to bringing back past characters, in a way anyway, to the forefront. There is just so much more I could say about that spin-off but to put it in a nutshell, ARC-V just did so much right at the time but of course we all can’t forget that damn ending. The way that ARC-V ended just left pretty much everyone who had watched it from the very beginning with such a sour taste in our mouths. I don’t think I need to explain why, anyone who has seen the final knows exactly what I’m talking about, but yeah, it goes to show that a finale leaves a lasting impression and is pretty much why, even to this day, a majority of people consider ARC-V to be the worst Yu-Gi-Oh series to date.

So with all that being said, how did Yu-Gi-Oh Vrains finale do? Was it able to wrap everything up into a perfect little package with a nice bow on top? Well honestly, the package itself was a freaking mess and a half but I will say the bow on top wasn’t half bad for what it was worth. We all knew with Vrains ending way to early compared to the previous series that things were going to be getting rushed at the end but I will say that even if things were rushed, and it wasn’t the most satisfying ending they could have given us, what they did give us still left me feeling fulfilled and with Vrains being the absolute train wreck that it was, at the end of the day, I’ll call that a win.

So let’s start off with the final part of the Playmaker vs Ai duel. These two really were just full on neck and neck that it literally came down to their aces (because yes, Decode Talker is Playmaker’s true ace monster of show) batting each other, once again like from the opening, with Yusaku only being able to pull out the win in the end because Ai wanted to make sure that he was going to be able to finish him off during his turn. If his greed didn’t get the best of him, he would have actually won. That is actually really crazy to think about. At one point, just before Playmaker summoned Accesscode Talker, I seriously thought he was going to summon a Link 8 since he had the total Link Rating on his field with his three monsters plus Darkfluid being a Link 5 but nope, he summoned basically his new combination of the six Ignises in the form of a Code Talker (which all seem to be model after an Ignis anyway). I mean how he was actually able to summon out Accesscode was kinda BS but that’s just normal BS when it comes to the final duels in a Yu-Gi-Oh final. I’m still questioning how in the actual world did Yusaku not deck himself out during this duel. Seriously just how many cards did this boy go through? Way to many from the looks of things.

Now let’s talk about Playmaker and Ai scenes. My god, those shouldn’t have hurt as much as they did. Just at the beginning when Yusaku was telling Ai about how the bonds between others were the things that created the future, not predetermined simulations, and how Ai just couldn’t understand it just hurt right off the bat because I can understand why Ai can’t think that way. Just like he told Yusaku, he is data. To find a situation to a problem is all he knows. To base something with nothing to support it makes no sense to him especially when he can’t chance it. He has seen the alternative and my god, Ai. We didn’t even see the full simulation play out (but what we did see is definitely getting censored in the dub no questions there) but I could already tell what exactly played out. If Dr. Kogami was right about anything, it is that it is inevitable for humanity not to turn against artificial intelligence out of fear that they would one day surpass humanity and try and take us over or just kill us on the spot. I think the future we saw in that simulation was just that with Yusaku trying to convince them that Ai was no danger to humanity and well....we all saw how well that ended. Honestly I lowkey wished we got to see more of that simulation just to see the moment that Ai snaps and murders anyone. Because lets face it, Yusaku literally is the only family that Ai had left at that point. If something happened to him, Ai was actually going to snap. And it wasn’t even if something terrible would happen to him. Yusaku is still human while Ai is an artificial intelligence. If nothing happened to him, Yusaku would have just aged over time and eventually pass away while Ai would always remain immortal which once again would probably lead to a snap. I honestly don’t blame Ai for picking the path that he did in the end. Even if Lightning never showed him the first simulation, I don’t think it would have been long before Ai would have put the pieces together and start doing his own simulations. Ai was just a goner since the moment he was created as a A.I. with free-will. As for his death scene, I almost did start crying because things shouldn’t have had to have ended this way. I don’t care what Yusaku said. You should have took the fusion deal, young man. It worked out pretty freaking well for Judai and Yubel. Heck, regardless how stupid it was, the Yuu Boys and the Bracelet Girls were all still their own individual people too. I don’t see how that would be any different for you two, especially considering that Ai came from you, Yusaku. I have a lot of feelings about this but I will say that the moments that really hurt for me was when Ai asked Yusaku if he was a good partner, to which Yusaku answered “yes”, and when Yusaku explained to Ai that his name meant “love”. I actually didn’t think they were going to explain the meaning of Ai’s name in the show but I’m so thankful that they did but damn, that freaking hurt! Also Aiballshipping is canon. I actually find it hilarious that Ai stole Yusaku from Ryoken at the last second XD

As for everyone else’s endings. As much as it is still the most convenient bullsh*t ever, I am happy that Jin was able to move on after freaking years of being tormented by his PTSD and by Lightning in season 2 and is now happily working with his brother at the hot dog truck just like Kusanagi always wanted. I’m glad that they are slowly starting to make up for all the time that they have lost together because of this one incident. Aoi seems to be doing okay but I won’t lie, I was bit salty that Miyu wasn’t with her when she was visiting the brothers since it seemed like the perfect opportunity for them to be together and to show that their friendship is still strong after all of these years. Like what the heck? If they are going to force this stupid storyline on us, at least commit to it damn it! It has been three months and wait? Is she still in the damn hospital? Like we literally don’t know what happened to Miyu after all of this and I just find that infuriating but what’s new there? Akira is now CEO of SOL Technologies and I’m kinda mixed on how to feel about this. I mean we all were expecting this since the very beginning but again it is one of those things like what happened to Queen? Vrains threw away the rest of the Chess Pieces long ago but Queen was still a character. I mean I like to think that Queen just up and give Akira the company out of fear of being attacked again by someone else in the future but it is still one of those things that you wished you knew what happened to her as to how Akira got this position. It seems that Vrains has continued to grow and expand during this three month time skip and I don’t know if it was intentional or not but all the connections make it look like The Arrival Cyberse @Ignister and if that truly was the case that was a really nice detail to add, Vrains. Emma and Kengo seemed to have teamed up as a brother and sister bounty hunter team in the network which is fitting. Go is back to being his entertainer self to please his younger fans. I’m planning on giving my full thoughts about Vrains sometime later this week hopefully so I’m get into more detail about him and everyone else there. The Knights of Hanoi are taking Takeru’s declaration to heart and are watching over Link Vrains from Ryoken’s freaking cruise ship apparently while Ryoken and Spectre are watching over everything inside of Link Vrains. Now that Vrains is over, I officially have to ask. Where the actual hell is Ryoken getting all of this money from? Correction, WHERE IS HE GETTING ALL OF THESE BOATS FROM?! Geez and I thought we as a fandom were the shippers. This boy has a freaking navy of them in hiding.

HOMURA TAKERU GOT HIMSELF A GIRLFRIEND! MY BOY IS GETTING LAID TONIGHT!

No but seriously, before they showed the duel disks and just them sitting on the bed, my brain went places. The dialogue did not help. Yes my brain is extremely dirty but that’s besides the point.

ENTRUSTSHIPPING IS CANON! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I like to think that wherever Flame ended up in the A.I. afterlife, he is looking down at Takeru with a proud smile during this moment. I also just find it fun that since Kiku doesn’t have an avatar, if anyone knows her in real life sees her in Link Vrains with Soulburner, they are obviously going to put the pieces together real quick about who Soulburner actually is. I’m in just such amazement right now over this even though I had any idea that something like this was going to happen. During the closing interviews from the VAs, Kaji Yuuki made a comment about how we were going to be seeing Takeru getting “unmasked” during the finale and I just knew that something like this was going to happen and I was not disappointed at all. I’m sorry but I just have such a huge sh*t eating grin across my face because of this.

THIS IS AWESOME!!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY ACTUALLY MADE THIS CANON!

How is it that Kiku, a freaking SIDE CHARACTER, ended up being my favorite female of Vrains? I don’t know, I’m just going to move on before I start freaking out again about these two being so freaking adorable.

I do like how Naoki, as soon as he saw these two, makes it his new goal to get himself a special someone of his own. I don’t know how that’s going to work out for him but hey good for him.

And as for Yusaku, the shows ends with him going on some kind of journey, leaving his final fate obscure which is pretty normal for a Yu-Gi-Oh series as they did the same in the past with Judai and Yusei. My guess he’s going around the network to try and find a way to bring back Ai and maybe the rest of the Ignis.

Speaking of which, the last scene we get of this series is that Ai is apparently alive. Maybe. Who actually knows. He could be in A.I. heaven for all we know but if that’s the case I feel they would have shown us a scene of him being greeted and welcomed by the rest of the Ignis but what we got of him instead was him in his eyeball form looking to be restored. Man Ai is literally like a cockroach and I am saying that in the nicest way possibly. He gets his data eaten by a dragon, tore to pieces by a Data Storm, destroyed by a powerful program, and even kills himself by his own hand and yet he still lives. I am very curious to know if anything is going to come from this reveal, such as if YGO 7 actually is a crossover series, or if this was just the writers giving us a break and letting us know that Ai is still alive and there is hope of him returning. I mean I’m happy he is alive, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like it would have just been fine keeping him dead with the rest of the Ignis. Because if he is still alive, won’t Ai just try and kill himself again? Seems kinda counterproductive but I digress.

So yeah, I very much enjoyed the final episode of Vrains. The series had a lot of problems, and I mean A LOT of them, but it had its shining moments, such as this. Like I said, I’m planning to go into more detail about my full thoughts about the series but when it comes to its ending, I think it delivered what it needed to. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Yu-Gi-Oh Vrains. You were a freaking struggle to watch at times but you were a joy to have around all the same. I guess the best compliment I can give you is that you literally are Ai. You are insufferable at times but you had your charm that kept me coming back for more and I’m sad to see you go just like I was with Ai.

Now it is onto Yu-Gi-Oh 7th and who knows. If it actually is a crossover series, Vrains might just be back sooner then we expect. I hope so because I’m not ready to say goodbye to my meme-lord and my fire child and his new girlfriend yet! I don’t think it has fully hit me yet that Vrains is actually over and it is going to suck when next week comes around and there is just no more episodes.

#vrains #vrains spoilers #Thoughts #theories

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totalconway · 4 years

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Drinks at the Pub, ends in short film opportunity...

So a little back story first, I started performing stand up comedy in 2012 and by 2013 I was lucky enough to win the state leg of Australia’s largest open mic competition Triple J RAW Comedy and headed to Melbourne to perform on the ABC.

Following that experience I was given a lot of opportunities to perform support spots purely based on that RAW comedy credit.

One case of this was performing at Rottnest Island for their Rottofest summer comedy which was held every Friday during the summer. Rottnest Island is a hot bed of local and international tourist, and the Island’s Gov’s Tavern where the gig is held would often sell out (120+ People) the crowd was always a mix of high profile people and obnoxious drunks (most of the time both)

On one particular Friday night, I was performing, and not to brag blowing the roof off the joint and in the crowd was none other then the President of my favorite sporting team the Fremantle Dockers Football Club.

At the time, the Fremantle Dockers board was facing backlash from the supporter base because they wanted to move the Dockers training ground from their spiritual home of Fremantle Oval to a state of the art, purpose built training facility in Cockburn (Yes Cock Burn) which is about a 30 minute drive up the road.

So after the gig on Rottnest Island, I get introduced to the president of the Dockers with the intro line “Hey Sean, tell him what you think of the Cockburn move” and you can see his look go from chilled and calm to “I seriously got to deal with this shit on my holiday”. I just told him “I’m pumped for it” and I was, its been a good move for the Dockers and I started reeling off the benefits for the move etc etc. We hung out had a few beers and the whole night I was spun out that I was hanging with the president of the Dockers.

I went back to work on Monday telling people I got to hang out with the President of the Dockers, with a bit of fake bravado swagger to jokingly let them know I only hang with A-Listers now! After a couple of days I didn’t think anything of it and went back to gigging and working.

A few months down the track I get an email from the booker of Rottofest Summer comedy asking if I’d be keen to Star in a short film for the Dockers. Its not paid but if the film is one of three winners of the competition I’d receive one of the tickets to the USA which was up for grabs. Honestly, they had me at “Star in Dockers short film”.

Apparently the opportunity was between myself and a Perth duo called Henry & Aaron. Henry & Aaron are film makers/comic actors who pretty much went viral on youtube with every film they made (Talking millions and millions of views) and they lost out to my RAW comedy set that had about 12 views purely because I had a few too many beers with the president of the Dockers.

When I got the call to go meet them about the project I was incredibly nervous. I had a whole pitch prepared about why I was the best candidate for the job “I fucking bleed purple” because I was still thinking I had to audition for the film but essentially I had already been cast in the film. Their only concern was whether or not I could fit in the costume because I’m a big fat dude they had to see if I would be able to squeeze into it. The whole time I was terrified of ripping it because it’s a $3-$4K costume.

Once the costume fit (just) it was straight to work. It was a great project to work on because they gave me a lot of creative control of my character, and I really wanted to portray a David Brent (The Office) like character, like a really fat black sheep in a white herd.

So we started filming in September of 2013, just after the Dockers had beaten Geelong in an away game in the first week of the finals. So the Dockers had a weeks break before they played Sydney in Fremantle’s first home preliminary final in two weeks time. This was a huge moment for the club because If we win this it will be the first Grand Final the Dockers have ever been in.

The first day of shooting was super intimidating, not because I was meeting some of my football idols but because the night before the first day of shooting I watched a documentary called Catching Hell about the Chicago Cubs fan Steve Bartman who was blamed for the Chicago Cubs not winning a game that would of sent them to the world series. Not the best film to watch when you’re about to work with you’re sporting idols on the eve of the biggest game in the clubs history. To say it made me super paranoid the whole shoot is an understatement, and it didn’t help that the first shot of the day was with the Dockers marquee player Matthew Pavlich. The scene was me jumping on his back, FUCK RIGHT OFF. I’m twice the size of Pavlich and you’re dreaming if you think I’m jumping on his back. If you watch the scene I take the “mark” and I’m nowhere near Pavlich.

It was a great shoot because everything was time sensitive, the players had their other appointments so we literally only had 10 minutes for each shot with the players so we flew through the script.

I got to meet a lot of the players I was fans of like Ryan Crowley, Nat fyfe, I didn’t get to meet Michael Walters but the scene he’s in, my fat is hanging out of my footy jersey and I did hear him say to David Mundy “That dude looks like a bag of oranges” which was funny, but Ideally I would of preferred he made the joke to me so I could of gained a fan when I busted his balls back, but unfortunately it wasn’t to be.

The last shot of the film was me gate crashing a press conference with Michael Barlow . Barlow did the interview and the CEO at the time did a big speech thanking the media for their support throughout the year and if they wouldn’t mind hanging around for 10 minutes so we could get our last shot. We smashed out the shot in 2 takes, boom we’re finished, I’m told not to tell anyone about the film until it airs the following week, easy enough right.

Wrong, the next day I’m back at work and people are looking at me like I’m the biggest piece of shit in the world, because one of the media outlets had filmed me gate crashing the Michael Barlow press conference, and passed it off like I was genuinely gate crashing the press conference.

I had to tell people it was for a film which didn’t help the situation because they thought because I do comedy it must have been some Jackass type movie I was doing. It also didn’t help the situation that Radio talk back shows were crucifying me saying how unfunny I was and how big of a dickhead I was for gate crashing the Barlow press conference, but I didn’t care too much because I knew the film was coming out the following week. It didn’t stop my Mum and my sister writing a long scathing letter to the radio station about how they should do their research before they try to shame their baby boy on the radio. Luckily I was able to stop them from sending it out.

The film came out the following week as well as the entries for the other films that we were competing against, the winners would be based on who had the most likes, shares and views. The first film we were up against was by the St Kilda Saints who managed to get Eric Bana to star in their film, it still makes me chuffed to think I starred in a film that went head to head with an Eric Bana film. The second film was by the Melbourne Demons which was a documentary about a child fan who was very sick, third place was us, and the rest of the films were Essendon Bombers which was fucking terrible and a few other teams who I can’t remember.

The film was released the night the Fremantle Dockers played Sydney Swans in a game which would determine who would be playing Hawthorn in the grand final the following week. Literally the clubs biggest game in their history at that point so the game was sold out and 50,000 people got to see me make an ass out of myself and it was humbling how much the Dockers supporters loved it. But more importantly the Dockers smashed the Swans and were headed for their first ever Grand Final.

Being the Dockers fan I am, there was no chance in hell we were missing out on seeing the Dockers play in their first Grand Final. I had cousin’s overseas who cut their holiday short to make it back in time for the Grand Final. It was such an amazing experience heading over for the grand final, and thanks to the film I was a bit of a star amongst Dockers supporters. I was flying over with my dad and at the same time One Direction were flying in and all these young preteen girls were waiting for them with signs and screaming for One Direction. I’m chilling with my dad waiting to board our flight and a family of Dockers fans came over and asked for a photo. All of these young preteen girls were looking at me with a confused look on their face wondering who I was and while they were distracted by me, One Direction walked past the crowd of fans with out any of them noticing.

The morning after we arrived in Melbourne we went straight to the Grand Final Parade which is one of the biggest events of the AFL Grand Final week. All the fans line the street to watch the two competing teams drive through the streets of Melbourne and ends with a big speech on the government steps and the captains of each club holding the trophy in front of their screaming fans. When the event finished all the Dockers fans turned to walk away and saw me in the street. Everyone stopped to shake my hand and to get photos, treating me like a full blown celebrity, even a girl who I had a crush on in High school asked me for a photo and I got to experience all this with my family watching. It was a very surreal and amazing experience to say the least.

The next day was the Grand Final, all the Dockers fans met at Federation Square before the game so we could march to the Melbourne Cricket Ground like soldiers marching to war. It was a sight that Melbourne people have never seen by an interstate club, which made me incredibly proud to be a Dockers fan. Being apart of the film, Dockers fans continued to stop and cheer me as we all marched to the MCG.

When we got to the MCG I was starting to get anxious for the game, my cousins could see me becoming more anxious, which is why they started screaming out "Look it’s the Unsung Docker” every 5 minutes. I had Dockers fans lining up to get a photo with me and then Hawthorn supporters and famous AFL commentators would walk past with a look on their face like “Who the fuck is this guy”

The Dockers ended up losing the Grand Final and we headed to the Dockers after party which felt more like a wake. After the Dockers lost the game I also found out that we also finished fourth in the film competition behind the Essendon Bombers who got the fucking Janoskians to pump out their film amongst their fans and got their views up with comments like “I’m only here because I like the Janoskians” (I’m still bitter about it). In one afternoon I managed to see my favourite team lose the ultimate prize and have my payment for the film pinched from me by some shit head kids, it was a rough way to end what was otherwise a truly amazing experience.

I wasn’t too disappointed though, the film helped me get an acting agent in Sydney which has lead to some amazing acting opportunities. I’ll share some more stories down the track. The Dockers unfortunately haven’t made it to another Grand Final since 2013, but hopefully one day I’m at the right bar at the right time to have a drink with the new president of the Dockers and we can get the wheels moving on The Unsung Docker 2

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#afl #fremantle #fremantledockers #films #youtube #shortfilms #comedy #standupcomedy #careers #acting #lucky #drinking #rottnestisland #perth

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borisbubbles · 5 years

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Eurovision 2010s: 55 - 51

55. fusedmarc - “Rain of revolution” Lithuania 2017

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[2017 Review here]

Who else? My love for Fusedmarc has become a BorisBubbles.tumblr calling card and come on, there’s no way I wouldn’t drag them this high. Two years later and I still cackle thoughout this song with the exact same vigor as I did two years back. 🤭 Now, I do understand that “Rain of revolution” is one of the worst 10 songs in this decade and... well, yeah, (yeah, yeahyeah NRG yeah yeah yeeeeaaah) that’s the entire point. If we lived in the universe where ESC entries can be compared to motion pictures, in which “Waterloo” is Citizen Kane and “A matter of time” is fucking Titanic, then “Rain of revolution” is The Room, for Viktorija and Denis posses the exact same endearing insanity, inscrutability and genius as Tommy Wiseau. And honestly, this song should be shown in movie theatres because it turned inteptitude into an artform. Reminder that fusedmarc were the only 2017 act to refuse PBC:UA’s offer for stand-in rehearsals because they were afraid Ukraine would fail at getting their ~vision across~ 😂😍

Reminder that this resulted in technical errors DURING THEIR LIVE PERFORMANCE. 😍

Reminder that they song is punctuated by endless YEAH YEAH YEAHs 😍

Reminder that they only won Eurovizijos Atranka because a diehard vegan facebook group found out that fusedmarc were *also* vegan and urged their lithuanian members to vote for them, allowing them to beat Aiste 😍

Reminder that Victorija styles herself after Little My from the Moomins 😍

Reminder that her diction is equivalent or worse to the English spoken in the Nekci Menij show. 😍

Reminder that Viktorija’s nail game is more on fleek than yours.😍

Remember that LIFE LIKE ROLLERCOASTEN, SPEENING MI ORAWND 😍

It’s all about MICKIN a start and let their light shine FRUUU U. So DANCE to the RIVEM of ur SOLE, chant ‘LIETUVA’ like that random woman does at the start of the performance (IS THIS THE SAME LITHUANIAN FRUMP who went all out during Belarus, because if so I may have found a soul sibling), end the reign of RevoLucian and look for the reason why hamster on the road. Life is like a rollercoaster and live it to the fullest.

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54. Tom Dice - “Me and my guitar” Belgium 2010

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I’ll be honest: As a Belgian, Tom Dice has a lot of emotional value for me. The year was 2010: Belgium hadn’t qualified for a final for six straight contests, sending failure after failure. Neither VRT had, until that point, shown any idea behind what they were doing, consistently picking the wrong songs during the national selections. RTBF meanwhile, didn’t even try, sending novelty acts they knew would never qualify. So, imagine being Belgian and seeing Tom get announced, fedora perched askew on his head, with a tepid guitar ballad and you’re like “oh MORE of the same, well bye 😬", except SURPRISE Tom is naturally charismatic and has a great voice and turns his by all standards generic song into an experience.

It’s the Todevska principle: Tom OUTSOLD. Is he the best entrant? No. Like many ESC alumni he entered the contest with his least good song. Is he the most exciting entrant? Far from it.

However isn’t it fair to state that we, Eurovision fans from Europe, have always had at least one dark age in our history with the contest? Periods where our supposed “best” wasn’t good enough? Periods where we struggled being proud of whom we were and where we came from. For someone to come out of nowhere and put you country back on the map after years of adversity, be it an ABBA, or a Bobbysocks! or a Tamara Todevksa, that makes for a magical rebirthing experience. Tom Dice is Belgium’s and I am #Proud of it.

oh and also the live owns dwi. 🤭

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53. Aram MP3 - “Not alone” Armenia 2014

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WOD EEF EETS ONLE WAN KEES!

Long before ASMR became a popular thing, Armenia send an entry that is only enjoyable if the listeners plugs in their best airphones, clears their heads and lets the music sweep over them.

And I mean, “Not alone” may be a mere Build-Up-To-An-Epic-Climax Ballad, but dear gods is it effective. You see, “Not alone” starts off quiet and solemn, a gentle piano tapping, punctuated with small drums... and then the orchestra comes in and builds and builds and builds until

at long last

WOD EEF EETS ONLE WAN KEES

DAT TERNS AL SIEDS INTO TRIZZ

DE STRONGEIST VIND INTO BRIZZ

OHPEN ALL DORS WIDNO KEEZ

and fuck, take my lifetime supply of hairpieces because that shit is awesome? The only real downside Aram has for me is that he requires a lot of set up: you really NEED to be in The Proper Mood to enjoy “Not alone” in its fullest glory. But when you are willing to take that plunge and be swept away by its rawness, you’re in for three minutes of catharsis. PS: Aram performing it drunk at the finale 😍

being awesome AND being incompetent in two different performances, what a kraljic <3

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52. Ott Lepland - “Kuula” Estonia 2012

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There are two reasons why “Kuula” ranks this high and neither is Estonia bias :o

The first is, obviously, the context. I’ve spoken widely about how terrible Baku2012 sounded as a whole, and how disappointment everything was. Well, “Kuula” was not only acoustically sound, it is actually the ONLY song that I was pleasantly surprised me. I had no opinion whatsoever going into Baku and he roses to my #3 of the year.

Which brings me to the second reason why “Kuula” ranks this highly. It is just... really fucking good, lol?

With powerballads such as these it’s REALLY important to suck the listener/viewer in and the combination of Ott’s great voice, adorable personality, the magical language that is Estonian (which also, conveniently, allows me forget “Kuula” has Deep Meaning and Touching Lyrics 🤗), and a great organic build up captivate me immensely. Even though songs like “Kuula” are far from what I normally love, it never fails to sustain me, proving tho every great rule they’re always a greater exception. 🤗

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51. Anouk - “Birds” the Netherlands 2013

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~She slayed it from the outside~

Oh my god Anouk was such a rollercoaster. From my end, I was OBSESSED with Anouk from the second she was announced (as the first participant of 2013!!!) because hell yeah I LOVED “Nobody’s wife” and “Girl” and this expected ~High Voltage Rock OWNAGE~

What we got instead was... something just as great, if completely different. “Birds” may not have been an in-your-face rock song, but it never-the-less was a beautiful, mesmerising, unpretentious avant garde ballad. “If being myself is what I do wrong, then I would rather not be right” sticks out as an absolutely brilliant line that I often use in my daily writing. 😍 I LOVE how Anouk performs btw, on the satellite stage, in a sea of f(l)ags:

While also delivering distinctly Dutch diction. 😍 Paraphrasing:

“Burds follin daun de roeftops, aut of de skai laik reendraups, no eir, no praad.”

Like ^ pronounced that in dutch and you literally have Anouk’s diction nailed. 😍

“Birds” was basically the “Me and my guitar” of the Netherlands, but there’s also the added bonus of Anouk herself. You see, in contrast to her song’s ethereal demeanor, Anouk is KNOWN to be a huuuuuge abrasive confrontal bitch with zero filter 😍 and fragments of her diva personality definitely oozed into Malmö as well, from nonchalantly recording a gritty webcam vid for official channel’s preview vid (😍) to flippantly pulling a hood over her face each time a journalist wanted to interview her. It ended, how else, with Anouk writing “Walk along” for Trijntje, and then cussing her out for being frumpy / talentless / sucking at life when she NQ’d. When Trijntje tried pinning them blame Anouk for writing her a bad song on purpose (lmfao), Anouk retaliated by stealing Trijnje’s coach seat on The Voice NL. PETTY QUEEN <3 We truly aren’t worthy of this irl Cersei Lannister. 😍

Also um, I just realized I ranked those two on opposide ends of the Dutch chart:

The 2010s marked wonderful renaissance for the Netherlands. I’m never ~OBSESSED~ with their entries, but they are a very solid Eurovision country, reliably delivering good music. I think they’re also the country that has the lowest amount of godawful entries on average (literally 2. Fuck you, “Without you” and “Amsterdam”.). If anyone deserved to win based on track record alone it was definitely them.

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Lithuania #Fusedmarc #rain of revolution #Belgium #Tom Dice #me and my guitar #Armenia #Aram MP3 #Not alone #Estonia #Ott Lepland #Kuula #Anouk #Birds #Netherlands

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andrewuttaro · 5 years

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New Look Sabres: GM 26 - TOR - The Eichel Standard

6-4 Regulation Win

Let’s have a moment of honesty. I’ll start. I expected this to be a signed sealed and delivered loss (I think many of us did). I had a rip-roaring time watching that epic Buffalo Bills game on Thanksgiving to the point where I was near dreading a home and home series with the team I hate more than any other in the world (I think many of us did). The Buffalo Sabres, losers of 11 out of 13, up against a hated Leafs squad fresh off the firing and roasting of their former coach rattling off three straight wins, is the setup for a massively painful loss… or a very cathartic win... and a playoff spot at the moment *Heavily suggestive nudging*. We’ll come back to that. One more moment of honesty: I have begun to feel dirty roasting the Leafs fans who file into Key Bank Center in droves as of late. The reality that has been attested to me a dozen times is these are mostly folks who haven’t and may never see a Leafs game in Toronto. They’ve been priced out. Instead of feeling offended that so many thrifty season ticket holders in the lower bowl sell their tickets to Leafs fans… we should really pity these Leafs fans and give them good treatment. They are priced out by an organization that has sucked ass for half a century and not even granted them the dignity of watching it live. Just a thought. I digress. What is the greatest game against the Leafs in Sabres history? Greatest Game Against for this divisional rival actually has scanter options than you might think. There is no Leafs-Sabres game in the top fifteen of the Buffalo News’ top 50 games in franchise history. These teams are rarely good at the same time and the one time they were gave us the only playoff series between the two in the 1999 Eastern Conference Final, a series won by the Sabres I may add. The Greatest Game Against the Leafs in franchise history comes in that series: Game 5. The 4-2 win sealed the second trip to the Stanley Cup Final in franchise history. Like many big moments the team got in the late 1990s it was backstopped by Dominik Hasek being the best goaltender in the world but nonetheless the Sabres won a trip to the biggest series for the organization since the mid-70s so whose complaining? That series allows us to carry the historical playoff edge against the Leafs into a playoff series I now feel is as inevitable as Thanos. I guess we’ll see about that. Last night was a boost, no doubt about that.

Buffalo did what they’ve been good at lately: getting a neat little hot start and getting our hopes up before absolutely roasting our turkey. There are nights where Jack Eichel has a game. There are nights when Linus Ullmark has a game. Last Night they both had a game. William Nylander outmaneuvered Johan Larsson and Marco Scandella back on the other end and suddenly found himself on a breakaway. Linus Ullmark said: ain’t no problem. He scooped it up to thunderous applause. I wasn’t at this game so I’m not going to comment on the Leafs jerseys to Sabres jerseys ratio but from the sound of it both fanbases had the power of applause. Auston Matthews disappeared throughout this game; but the guy who was mature enough for the C did not. This game could be framed as the battle of the Captains. John Tavares broke the scoreless tie late in the first period with a quick shot from Ilya Mikheyev. I think Linus Ullmark was screened by both Leafs and Sabres players on that one. Sometimes it seems as though this club either doesn’t know how to defend the net or defends it so hard the goalie can’t do his job. Either way it was 1-0 after one period. Tavares struck again early in the second period. Eichel and Spezza had both gone to the box creating a 4-on-4 and some space for creative players on the Leafs. This 2-0 goal I feel comfortable blaming on Ullmark. Tavares leads a 2-on-3 and the puck ends up way behind the net. Ullmark splayed out on his belly way too early and JT got his own rebound and tapped it in. I suppose it also would have helped if the Sabres defenders were a little tougher on Tavares but hey, they held Auston Matthews off the score sheet so I’m not complaining, well at least not after the Buffalo Sabres arrived in this game shortly before six minutes into the second period.

Brandon Montour kept the puck in the offensive zone on a failed Leafs zone exit and passed it to Johan Larsson. Larsson goes in and doesn’t see his shot, so he drop passes it to one of the best trailers in the league in my humble opinion: Jeff Skinner. Yes, Skinner on a line centered by Johan Larsson is some interesting strategy from Ralph Krueger and you probably have seen the roasts of the strange deployment. Me, well I’m going to save those roasts for the losses. Skinner ripped off an Eichel-esque wrist shot that Michael Hutchinson never responded to. Just right in. Funny part of this story as we go onto the flowering of the Sabres offense here: man-of-the-people new Leafs coach Sheldon Keefe asked the players what they thought of the difficult backup position they got up there and they wanted Hutchinson called up. Hutch must feel like he got the raw end of that deal, eh? Spoiler Alert: he let six goals in. After the Skinner goal both teams botched a powerplay and as the Leafs’ one expired Jack Eichel came out of the box to pick up a juicy stray puck that had wandered into the neutral zone. Him, Marcus Johannson and Conor Sheary go off to the races on a 3-on-1. Jack Eichel does a Jack Eichel Special and this game is tied. If you watch this team regularly you probably know what a Jack Eichel Special is: quick release wrist shot from the point, preferably on the rush. That’s yummier than Thanksgiving stuffing! The feast had just begun! Marco Scandella shot from the point and Casey Mittelstadt bats at it to create a redirect of the year candidate for the 3-2 lead. Now if you want to find some similarities between these two teams its not hard. One might be that both have enough skill guys to draw defenders out of their coverages. That’s what happened when another Leafs powerplay was ending and Jack Eichel had the puck. He has the puck behind the Leafs net along with 3(?) blue & white defenders… yeah, you know who that left open: Victor Olofsson. Goalofsson is no longer in an exclusive relationship with the powerplay, now he’s taking shots in all situations and he puts the Sabres up 4-2 to put a nice little bow on the first forty minutes of this game.

Almost seven minutes into the final frame Dmytro Timashov get a shot off through the woods and the Leafs are back within one. You can’t sit back in this league, the Sabres have learned that the hard way. But with the Leafs you can’t only not sit back, you need to bury them alive. You have to beat them so bad they’re thinking of their next opponent to beat these guys. The third period was a kind of touch-and-go experience as the Leafs closed in and the Sabres extended their lead. I was in a movie for this game and when I was looking at the scorers afterwards I saw Jimmy Vesey unassisted and thought to myself: three unassisted breakaway goals in the three games? What are the chances? I come to find out it wasn’t a breakaway, but it was one of those embarrassing goals you watch happen and think: “Yeah, that’s going to be showed in a Leafs video session.” They gave up the puck right in the slot and Jimmy Vesey takes it and hardly has to do the cotton eyed joe to get through the defenders right up to Hutchinson. When Vesey got there he put a goal that actually merits the name “Greasy Vesey”: five hole from point blank. Oh, this was the moment this game became cathartic. Not only is Jack Eichel roasting the Leafs, now its his BU drinking buddy tapping in five-hole stingers. Kasperi Kapanen closed the Leafs to within one again mere minutes later on another goal Ullmark probably wants back. And so it would be a one goal game for the last eight minutes until Jack Eichel got the puck in the defensive zone with a Leafs empty net and launched an ICBM all the way down ice into the open cage for the final score line of 6-4. That’s right, the Sabres didn’t just beat the Leafs, they did it in regulation like a bunch of Gs. If we could have a game like that every night a lot fewer fans would be calling Buffalo’s turkey roasted at this phase of the season.

The NHL gave three stars honors to Eichel, Vesey and Tavares but I’m going to change one of those. Jack Eichel was not only good on the score sheet; he literally had a perfect game in zone entries and breakouts. Those are the stats of a leader. If that behavior infects his teammates we won’t be talking about another lost season much longer. If we see players on this team at least showing Eichel’s drive to win each night then what could happen? The answer is beautiful things with the Eichel Standard. Star number two ought to be Linus Ullmark who has secretly been behind some of the Sabres recent almost success and tonight: actual success. Ullmark has a .913 save percentage, which is very much on the good side, having started five of the last seven games. Think about the last seven games, how many of them do you think the goalie came out looking that good? The tide might be turning on this tandem. The time is shortly before noon on Saturday I’m going to post this. A lot can change in the next 24 hours in this league, not to mention the outcome of a second game between these two teams tonight in Toronto; but as of right now the Buffalo Sabres sit in a playoff spot at third place in the division. Say what you will about this club wasting a fantastic October, or losing in spectacular fashion against lesser teams, or even the seeming inability of the GM to rotate out some defensive depth so his Coach can stop rotating good defenseman out of the lineup; this team is not out of it. Not yet. I did Thanksgiving Playoffs last postgame remembering that most of the teams in the playoffs on American Thanksgiving are in the dance come the end of the season. The playoff picture in the east right now is tight AF. No, frustrated we might be game to game this season has all the makings of not being over. Stop writing the epitaph while the body is warm. Being a Sabres fan sucks but you got to give it the space to not suck sometimes.

After the Leafs tonight we have the DEVILS who are just as bad as the last time we checked. After that the Sabres fly out on a Western Canada road trip I’m not too afraid of. I’m not telling you they’re going to create separation in the standings, we’ve watched this team enough to know opportunity is often squandered, but I doubt we’re as doom and gloom about this team when we see the Leafs again in three Tuesdays. Just an idea, I’ll probably be wrong, right? Tampa is also waiting to come alive like a loaded coil sitting outside the playoff picture so I should be more hesitant to get excited, eh? Like, share and comment on this blog to hop on board to remind me when I’m wrong. Happy Holidays, it seems as though we can be happy this holiday season just off Bills energy. Call me a fool but I’ve got some serious Sabres energy going on right now too. Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. The Tim Hortons Rivalry. Let’s make that a thing. Nobody outside Southern Ontario or Western New York knows wtf the QEW is so let’s not name the rivalry after a fucking highway. This is a sleeping giant of a rivalry that we are naming after a fucking road. Think about it. The more you think about “Tim Hortons Rivalry” the more it makes sense.

#buffalo sabres #Hockey #blog #NHL #Toronto Maple Leafs

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themachiavellianpig · 5 years

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The Walking Dead, Episode 8: What to do with Dante?

Episode 8 of The Walking Dead, and what to do with Dante?

Full review and boatloads of spoilers below.

We kick off this week’s episode with a look at Dante’s journey thus-far - his recruitment as Chief Spy for the Whisperers, his induction into Alexandria and his nefarious deeds while within the safety of the walls. There’s nothing particularly shocking - him being responsible for the ‘Silence the Whispers’ graffiti was a nice touch, and we might get a small hint as to why Dante doesn’t care that Lydia is still alive - it’s possible that he doesn’t know the story about Alpha killing Lydia for the good of the pack, so there might be less of the outright betrayal that we saw from Beta and Gamma when they discovered the truth.

With the past safely behind us, we move to the immediate aftermath of Dante’s shocking betrayal last week - a dead Siddiq on the floor, and a worried Rosita at the door. Dante’s attempt to brush off her concerns goes badly from the start, given that Rosita has never been a fool, and then goes horribly awry when Siddiq - with some of the finest timing ever seen from the living dead - reanimates and starts growling away like mad.

The following sequence worked brilliantly to establish clearly just how much of an utter bastard Dante is - even for the Whisperers, letting a baby be eaten by her own father while her mother watches is pretty awful. I was deeply, deeply pleased when Rosita turned the tables and started beating him into the ground as he so richly deserved.

With Dante safely restrained in the cell (shout-out to Morgan for building the damn thing way back when), Alexandria indulges in some undeserved “how could this have happened?”

Because your entry procedures following the bold appearance of a new threat are criminally lacking, that’s why.

The same thought seems to occur to Gabriel, who spends a little time obsessively watching Dante’s entry interview and then goes back to see the man himself. I have to say, I was expecting a certain amount of Alexandrian handwringing over what to do with Dante and I was expecting to be annoyed by all of it, so I was pleasantly surprised by his swift execution.

I was not expecting that execution to be at the hands of Father Gabriel, immediately after he sermonised on the nature of undeserved second chances, but I’m sort of here for it. I am definitely here for the way in which Rosita stood literally and metaphorically shoulder-to-shoulder with him at Dante’s cremation. It’s another nice reminder of the way in which this season of The Walking Dead has done away with at least some of the unnecessary drama in favour of respectful acceptance when someone makes the hard decisions.

Elsewhere, Michonne and Judith continue to make their way to Oceanside. At Luke’s suggestion, they stop at a library in search of more books for Judith - and also so Luke could scavenge more sheet-music. Rachmaninov is a hell of thing to cry-laugh over, I’ll admit, but it was pretty adorable.

So, of course, a couple of walkers come along to ruin it.

(Really, Luke? All these years in the Land of the Dead and you don’t check your corners properly when entering a new space? Connie is clearly the brains of your group, don’t even lie.)

Fortunately, Luke is saved from having his face bitten off by a strange man, hence referred to as Library Man, who saves our hapless music teacher and then legs it. Luke, for the record, does finally get his priorities in order, first asking the man’s name, then just bellowing “Thank you!” after his retreating form. Manners still matter, guys.

The library trip is cut short but the news of Siddiq’s death, which sends Michonne and co hastening off to Oceanside to warn them of possible Whisperer infiltration. The possibility of more Dantes is put aside when Library Man reappears, having tried and failed to steal one of Oceanside’s boats.

Luke, to his credit, tries to vouch for the man, but it takes far more than one act of altruism to win over this unfriendly crowd. The situation is nicely complicated by a walker attack, which likely does nothing to convince anyone that the man isn’t a Whisperer, and then we get to see little Judith Grimes hamstringing a guy.

“Good girl,” according to Michonne. Library Man is less convinced when he wakes up to find his leg stitched and Judith reading a book he had in his bag, although he is genuinely more upset by the book than by the stabbing, given that the book is intended for his own daughter, part of the family he’s trying to get home to.

While talking with Michonne, Vergil, as he turns out to be called, hits just enough buttons to make her reconsider her previous sceptical stance, and even to agree a tentative deal; she helps him return to the naval base he calls home, and she can take some of the weapons to help in the fight against Alpha.

The decision to trust Vergil reminded me, oddly enough, of Gabriel’s earlier point about second chances - sometimes we get them, despite not deserving them. Even though nothing in Michonne’s behaviour up to that point would have made her seem trustworthy, Vergil still makes a choice to trust her. Sometimes, we get second chances.

Meanwhile, Gamma’s apparently made up her mind to betray Alpha, hoping to leverage the information to see her nephew, Adam, the baby abandoned at Hilltop. Aaron’s steadfast refusal to risk a child for unconfirmed information was a solid choice and an interesting moment of principle - how easy would it have been to lie, to promise everything, and then string Gamma along with half-baked reassurances and delay tactics until all information could be wringed out of her?

Maybe that honesty was appealing after all Alpha’s lies, because Gamma apparently gave up the holding location for the horde, and a group of literally almost all of my favourite remaining characters heads out to cause some trouble.

(Sidenote: What the hell was the plan if this group had actually found a horde big enough to wipe out Alexandria? Sneak away and hope to find it again later? Maybe such a group could hold against a horde in the right setting, somewhere with traps and strong walls at their backs, but in the open?)

Along the way, Carol and Daryl find time for another blunt conversation; Daryl accuses Carol of never coming back from the boat, of being like a ghost, and finally begs her not to let Alpha take her future, on top of everything else.

But, of course, it’s not that simple. Carol’s lost a lot since the world fell apart - and, for the first time, she has an actual person to blame for it. Sophia, Lizzie and Mika all died, but none of them left behind a murderer who taunted Carol with her failings.

The group fails to find the horde where Gamma said it would be so, at Daryl’s insistence, they move off to try and find Lydia instead, despite Carol’s claim that she doesn’t want to be found. Instead, they find Alpha, and Carol takes off running.

Daryl and the group follow, because of course they do, and they follow Alpha-then-Carol into a small cave - with a false floor that falls out beneath them, dumping them in the middle of a cavern filled with all those walkers they were so desperate to find earlier.

And that’s where they’re going to stay until February. Whoops.

Previous Walking Dead recaps available here.

#the walking dead #twd #walking dead #season 10 spoilers #tv review #episode review #episode recap #norman reedus #melissa mcbride #danai gurira #seth gilliam #themachiavellianpig watches

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 5 years

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Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Finland to Eurovision with a meme icon and his side-kick

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“heeeeeey what is that song on that video???” Definitely not Darude - Sandstorm. Grow the fuck up.

I mean that they basically threw off the open call for songs from Finnish artists, instead opting for having one artist national final, usually one very known but very gettable-bored-of name so that they could get some more viewership rather when they pick a random nobody from a bunch of other random nobodies. Last year YLE got themselves an artist whose Eurovision ticket was long overdue, but this year they went the extra step and brought us HIM.

No, not that HIM. They can't go anyway as they've already disbanded. I'm talking about HIM.

Yes, THAT HIM. Meet Toni-Ville Henrik Virtanen, which thankfully has a pseudonym to publish his music with - Darude. Almost 20 years ago he published this beautiful techno single "Sandstorm" with lyrics like "du du du du du du du du du du du du". And now it's become the big-ass target of memery for the past few years on the Internet, with Darude being very well aware of it all - I don't think he has escaped questions about "Sandstorm" now that the Eurovision interviewers media is on horizon and interviews literally every single representative, no matter if they're shy or unpopular with the bookies at all.

And even if "Sandstorm" was the only thing to shake his tiny little Finnish world, it did not break Darude to be just a one-hit wonder (well he still looks like one but yeah) and he's got more music out ever since. And it probably sounds a little too tragic when YLE resorts to just nagging and begging Darude to represent their nation, even kinda secretly hoping that thanks to him Finland can have a qualification just solely for the meme factor. Darude even said so that he at first rejected their calls, but this year became THE year for him to go, and he's not alone obviously - his credited vocalist friend for this ride to Tel Aviv became Sebastian Rejman, a bit washed-up media star who already did some collaborating with Darude.

So the format was basically the same for this year's UMK - artist announced separately, then each of their 3 songs gets published every week on a specific weekday, with single cover art and a music video already, and the Finnish people together with international juries vote for the best track. Simple as that. Unlike with Saara Aalto though, all Darude & Sebastian songs were barely even distinct from one another in sound - just techno songs that have a piece of "Sandstorm" with themselves. Well only 2 do anyway. But still, techno/house songs to listen to on the radio when you're driving and minding your own business. And I had hard time picking favourites but all of them were alright I guess. Yet somehow my least favourite happened to win... and that was "Look Away", very much so inspired by natural disasters and how do we all ignore everything around us. No matter if it's a storm or hurricane or tornado or wind throwing sand at our eyes.

I don't know why the song didn't click with me all that much at first, I suppose it was because it's just a mindless gloomy techno song that raises global awareness (we already have Denmark talking about that, but they're insisting that "love is forever", while Finland is just... getting up more seriously in all this), and besides that, it's just incredibly repetitive. It consists more of the pre-chorus-ish chorus (I mean the line "is it in my head? Am I the only one?" and that other line preceding) and the actual chorus that mostly goes like "look away, look away, look away...". Even to the point when the song ends with some additional “look away”ing but under a different drum beat. What's it with Finns having a passion for the word "away"? We already had seen them sending a "Sing It Away", which was basically a cheer-up tune telling you to sing your problems off... while this year? We're trying to NOT look into the problems dead in the eye. We're looking... erm, uh, away.

But now I do have to say that I somewhat like it. Tell it to ya - the B minor chord is possibly one of my least favourite music keys, so I might as well be a little bit more negative on it if takes the song with itself to sound incredibly dull and painfully meh. So thankfully we'll be hearing it live half a step lower (idk if that's what it is with most EDM singers in Eurovision that shit like this can be possible, as well as idk why are they allowed into Eurovision in the first place. But seriously, why can't you just choose the same key you sang in in studio for Eurovision...), which made the song sound better to me - as a Nightcore junkie, I am passionate about hearing songs in different keys all the darn time, to see in what key would a certain song sound the best. It's usually the song's key that makes me like a song better or worse live rather than a live performance itself (though in some NFs I can see which of my favourite acts are DoA by not even emoting towards them - my emotion has to be evoked, and if I evoke it on purpose, well then, I'd just rather stay motionless completely on anything and only yelp if a song causes me to do this unexplainedly). We'll see how Sebastian will execute his singing live. As for now, he's the captain of this sinking ship that hit a small iceberg (another one of the disasters we usually "look away" from until it's found in our history books). Not Darude. Darude's just merely a musical hold-up of the disaster. It all has to depend on the vocalist and if the staging clicks with the audience. Sure, Darude can put on a red wig and green sunglasses so that he could click with the meme audience, but that won't get the Finns far.

So I like this song, it actually has some cool musical moments thrown in (I like the piano for one), I can enjoy this off my free time. But Estonia does it better at the "Finno-Ugric EDM-ish entry about Mother Nature's tantrums" category and I ain't even sorry for saying this. But I gotta be sorry for Darude. This year's UMK had the lesser care about it because... well, these songs weren't exactly inspiring or anything, and with people wanting something groundbreaking, their hopes kept on vaning away with each and every song release of the UMK entries': "oh so the next 2 two songs will be good right?" "oh so then the last one will be the best one, yeah right?" "...oh, okay then .-." And him, as the Finnish meme king, should have deserved a better year for a better Eurovision stint, so he could have become something à la Epic Sax Guy. Right now I mostly see a middle-aged DJ with 2 kids, not a redhead dude with green sunglasses looking shadily on us. And that's okay sometimes because memes don't necessarily need to be remembered for memes (just like I mostly remember Kanye West for music, and then memes come second), but Finland's gonna take a miracle to get through, and I hardly see any. That's an aina mun pity.

Approval factor: Eh, it's alright, but I would certainly not hold it up to high regards post-contest? lol.

Follow-up factor: it's kiiiiinda bleak knowing that after giving us probably one of the most favourable dark horse efforts for Eurovision they're now going down the dancier route, with one entry after being a banger, the other being a dad banger. Ah well. It doesn't flow so neatly in my eyes, it seems.

Qualification factor: almost dead in the tracks. Finland flows anywhere they can, having a lot of bad luck for 3 years this decade, and I doubt that the juries will be supporting this heavily, considering they are better at rating good vocalists over bad ones, so I don't think this will sail through. But I secretly have hopes in this. It's not that bad, but Estonia is in this semi too, and it's a friendlier EDM track, so I don't quite think that repetitive will out-compell the good formulaic. Plus, Sebastian has a lot to fix vocally, and I doubt that he will carry Finland any further if he doesn't fix anything, so so far the chances of Finland aren't looking up imo. Bottom 5 at the semi is more likely if not already the actual outcome. Maaaaybe 10th in the semi at best, but I doubt it.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

The more this section pops up in my works, the less I wanna recap national finals anymore. I hope there’s more breather moments with me having to review a lot of internal selection songs in between the ones from NFs, because this whole season was an utter disaster, and it’d help if the next one isn’t. So let’s check in on Finland's selection’s best:

• But seriously, did anyone ever see Darude as a Finnish representative coming??? No??? Me neither. I was just sitting there, waiting to see if there's a hope for Mikael Saari (you know, that balladeer guy from previous UMKs - I do believe some audiences love him just as much as Saara Aalto, who only was on one UMK and one Euroviisut) to be announced on this special separate programme. Nope - the trilingual hosting trio of the programme that included Krista Siegfrids in it as the token Swedish speaker just happened to happily proclaim Darude as THE Finnish hopeful... and the world was s h o o k e t h. Just look at him go. His smug grin is still iconic on here.

• During the wait for all the UMK songs to pile up, the excitement for Darude faded away and everyone moved on to support other countries. I can't blame them, because I have found like one decent song this UMK that's still worth listening to twice a year or so - "Superman". Where Darude becomes the everyday hero for ordinary people that have difficulties in live to do mundane stuff. Maybe this song would have made him look like a better meme than his current entry would have? Just watch him go on his DJ booth dressing like a knock-off superhero because EBU doesn't allow blatant advertising. A way better gimmick than Gromee's snakey hands. Alas, no one will have to hear "Superman" anymore. Granted it's just an EDM song just like any other, but somehow I liked it best, end of.

youtube

• There's at least one memorable screenshot from UMK as well, so I'm happy with that. I saw this pop up on my Twitter time line and I could not stop laughing inside. Seriously. Krista and this other guy should host ESC provided Eurovision is ever coming back to Finland. They had a lot of iconic outfit changes during the NF itself (and the NF itself had "Look Away" with some dancer on a cube but they scrapped the tall cube for Tel Aviv entirely), but those floral onesies are my favourite.

Now I kinda hope that there’s something that will alarm YLE in the meantime that Finland needs a better approach for Eurovision and we’ll see another fully-fledged UMK in the works next year, and then Finland can be great again. For now, I’ll just wish “onnea” to Darude and Sebastian, with hopes that people don’t look away from their song at all! (but most likely they will so what’s the point.)

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #finland 2019 #darude ft. sebastian rejman #look away #finland

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zoroism · 5 years

Text

The Strawhat’s Deja Vu

This is my entry for the @opbigbang 2019! This is actually my first long fanfic (or fanfic in general) and I hope you all would like it! I had so much fun writing this and I hope you’ll have fun reading it too!

A big thank you to my partner @babblebuzz! for the amazing animation they made for the fic! And for being so understanding bc my work schedule is crazy xD Check out their artblog @junonboi! (You’ll see amazing art please go and check them out)

The day was perfect. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing through his grass hair and there were no signs of rain coming anytime soon. A very good day for a road trip indeed. They say Roronoa Zoro was king of the road trips. Why you ask? Since he absolutely didn't know where he was going most of the time. Though he knows where he needed to go he just doesn't know how to get there even with the best GPS apps. He just keeps on getting lost and the man is very sure that he was not the problem. It was those stupid apps. So when you want a short adventure just tell Zoro to maybe go to the nearest McDonald's and you'll most certainly be on a highway going to the next city.

"Zoro, I'm hungry." A teenager with curly brown hair and freckles running across his cheeks groaned. He was sitting in the passenger seat with his phone on his hand checking the map if they were going in the right direction every minute.

"Sorry Chopper, we'll get there soon," Zoro answered with an apologetic expression. He saw the discomfort on Chopper's face that tells him that the boy was indeed very hungry. Zoro couldn't blame him, after all, they were driving the Red Line Highway for eight hours now and their snacks were all out.

The two of them were headed to Marie Jois City. They were moving there since Chopper got a scholarship to Marie Jois University for a degree in Medicine. Zoro was still in shock that the boy was going to college at an early age but he did know that Chopper was a genius. The boy was already doing adult stuff like paying the bills, budgeting their money and cleaning the house while Zoro was at his job. He was very responsible for the age of fifteen.

Zoro and Chopper were orphans. They met at the orphanage where they both grew up. The place took care of them very well but potential parents that interviewed them didn't want them. Maybe because Zoro dyed his hair green and maybe because he looked like a delinquent that no one wanted him and thought that he was too "rough" for them since parents did want a more "cuter" and "nicer" kid. For Chopper's case, he was always around Zoro. So when someone tries to talk to him Zoro gives them a deep stare. He was just checking out if they were nice people, it wasn't his intention to scare them away. Maybe. He just wanted to make sure Chopper was adopted to a nice family.

So when Zoro turned eighteen, he left the orphanage with Chopper by his side. Of course, the orphanage didn't allow this at first since they needed to make sure that Zoro had the means to pay for the bills. He first got multiple jobs to show that he was capable and Chopper showed the people in the orphanage that he was responsible enough that he might be the one taking care of Zoro instead even if he was just twelve years old. In the end, they were both allowed to live together as brothers with the help of some convincing that Zoro did. That was three years ago. And of course, during those three years, they had a hard time adjusting to their new lives as independent people but they were moving to a brighter future now.

"We don't have to do this now you know." Chopper whispered barely audible for Zoro to hear. "I can get some job first then work my way up."

"Don't think about the bills or anything related to that. Just go and live your dream." Zoro answered with his eye looking directly at the road. He had to leave his job back at Shimotsuki City and he knows that Marie Jois is an expensive city since people call it the "City of Dreams" where rich ass people live. Though he knows Chopper got a scholarship at the university, there were still some school expenses they needed to pay plus their rent and food money.

"We got this okay? Things will work out. I'm the adult here let me handle the money matters, I want you to focus on what you want." The man said again shaking those thoughts out of his head, he knew things would work out in the end. He wanted to do this for his brother.

"Well at least let me drive. You're getting lost again!" The teenager exclaimed while pointing at the map on his phone.

"Like hell you'll drive! You're underage!" The green haired man exclaimed.

"Wow! Coming from a man who certainly follows the "street rules"" Chopper did quotation marks with his hands to emphasize his point. "You know I know what your true job is!"

"Are you seriously bringing that up now?" The man question with a pained expression. Zoro knew working at retail won't pay the bills. He knew it wasn't enough for both of them so he had to do something else and that way was the only way he could earn some quick cash.

"Did you seriously think I'm that dumb to not know? How could I not notice the car you're driving?! It's a new car! You even bought me the newest Samsung phone, the best laptop AND we're moving to Marie Jois. Given that we still don't have enough right now BUT NOT JUST ANYONE CAN MOVE THERE!" Chopper was technically yelling at the last part because he still thought it was amazing how Zoro's job could pay all these and of course he was very thankful for Zoro's hard work. Well, he was especially amazed at how Zoro could do that job given that the man was directionally damaged, he actually really wanted to know how Zoro could do it. "Plus I know what really happened to your left eye you know. You got in an accident during a race didn't you?"

Zoro glanced at Chopper to see his sad expression. Zoro felt bad for worrying the boy that night. It was two years ago during the Summer season. Zoro got the chance to race with a man known to be the best at Shimotsuki City, Dracule Mihawk. They decided to race from the top of the mountain to the bottom. During the first part of the race, Mihawk was in the lead. In a sharp turn, Zoro tried to overtake Mihawk but he actually got lost during his drift. Zoro was able to be in the lead when he got out from his little "detour" and jumped out from a small road and landed in front of Mihawk. Nearing the end of their race, there was another curve and his opponent saw this opportunity and bumped him at the back of his car. It caused his car to spin but Zoro still got his grip on the wheel, he thought about Chopper and he knew he couldn't die there. He directed his car to hit the mountain wall which caused rocks to break his window side and the glass hit his left eye which was the reason why he couldn't open his eye and how he got a big scar on the left side of his face. He was still able to calm his car down and finish the race. Mihawk was impressed with his skill and luck and told Zoro that he would await him until he was ready to fight him again. It was then Zoro swore to himself that he would beat Mihawk one day.

"Being a street racer has its perks you know." Zoro grinned and shuffled Chopper's hair with his right hand. The boy smiled and said, "One of the reasons why I wanted to be a Doctor.".

"But how can you be directionally challenged but still be a street racer at night?" Chopper genuinely asked putting his index finger and thumb on his chin with a thinking look on his face.

"Stop that you look like that stupid thinking emoji. Just don't ask, things work out in the end." Zoro himself didn't know how he wins his races besides knowing he had the skills and a stroke of excellent luck on his side.

"I will stop questioning this logic. It pains my head." Chopper agreed. When he glanced at his window, Chopper's eyes grew big and he immediately shouted "ZORO YOU MISSED THE EXIT! OUR EXIT WAS 10 EXITS AGO!".

When the boys finally got to the right road to Marie Jois city they were amazed by the big castle they see in the distance. It was literally a big medieval castle surrounded by tall buildings that had the same style as the castle. The road they were traveling through was a straight road where you can see if you squint your eyes enough, that it goes until the entrance of the castle. You would think there was a border around the city since before you get there the only thing you'll see is grasslands, farm animals, and crops but it was open for anyone to enter.

"I was not expecting a castle to set the bars of how rich the people at this city are." Chopper said with his mouth open ready for that fries he has on his hands. They went to a drive-thru before they continued their road trip to the city. It was nice timing since they felt like they were about to puke even though they didn't have anything in their stomachs. They were driving half a day now since Zoro missed their exit.

"That's probably the city's government office or something." Zoro answered before sipping his coke.

"Probably. Since this road leads straight to there. Maybe they want us to pay before we find our new house?" Chopper turned his head to face his window. His eyes were greeted by trees that lined up perfectly beside the road. It goes on until they got to the castle where it is placed at the center of a big roundabout with three exits that were simply named, North, East, West, and judging from the names he concluded that they came from the South road. Chopper was in awe about how big the city center was. Besides the big castle, there was a small park with mini stalls surrounding it where he saw people walk and talk with each other. There was a big fountain where kids were playing with the water, teenagers had water guns that they were shooting others with and some people were even bathing in it?!

"You're not thinking of joining them are you?" Zoro teased the boy. Though he knew Chopper was a genius, the boy was a teenager after all. He still wanted the kid to experience what normal kids do, he wanted him to have fun and enjoy being a kid. Just not the dark side of those "fun" things though.

"O-of course not!" Chopper answered trying to hide a blush creeping up his cheeks. "It's not like it looks fun or anything!" The boy was trying to hide the fact that he indeed, wanted to play with those kids but Zoro knew him well enough to know what he truly wanted. He might push Chopper to go to the center after they finish unpacking their stuff.

"Well, it looks fun. Find some friends and go have fun. I'm not gonna stop you unless you're hurting yourself. Not that I needed to remind you. I know you." The man said with a soft smile. "You should go and meet kids your age. Don't get cooped up in the house and do all those housework again. You're not a maid. We're in this together."

"I know that." Chopper became quiet and gazed at the scenery outside, he was starting to drown in his own thoughts. It wasn't like Zoro was forcing him to do those things, he just wanted to do it since he saw how Zoro was working so hard for him. He was the best big brother anybody could ask for. And he was constantly worried at night if Zoro will come home again with blood all over him like how he did when he raced with Mihawk.

"Well, now we need to find the East exit." Zoro said disturbing Chopper's racing mind. Chopper looked at the window and slapped his forehead.

"Zoro, We've been circling this roundabout five times now." He respected his big brother so much but just, damn his directionally challenged brain.

"Well, this road keeps on moving!"

"Exit the next one! This roundabout has just four exits and we came through one! How can you get lost?!" Chopper exclaimed and sighed when the man was turning to the right exit. When they turned to enter East Road they were greeted by a long straight street with three-story buildings that also looked medieval but had high-class stalls that looked new at the first story. It was almost dark so they could really appreciate the lights the whole street emitted. Not to mention the road wasn't asphalt or cement, it was pebbles which was a nice complement to the medieval theme of the city.

"This is a beautiful city." Chopper said with excitement in his eyes. He was truly in awe about how beautiful and lively the city is. The boy loved Shimotsuki City but the city was small and dark compared to Marie Jois. The city just breathed new opportunities everywhere.

"This is a city that never sleeps. I expected it to be like this." Zoro answered while he was trying to fiddle his phone with his right hand. Chopper took the phone from his hand and looked at the address on the screen.

"Give me that! I know you're an awesome street racer but it's still not safe to use your phone while driving. Plus we don't know what the rules here are yet!" The boy read the directions they got from their new landlord. "It says here that we should turn right on the third street then we'll see a red brick building there."

Zoro followed Chopper's instructions and they got to their new house safely. He parked on the street just beside a small three-story building that had red brick walls. Each floor, besides the bottom one, had a balcony in the middle that aligned on top of the big antique brown door with wood carvings that looked like the waves on the first floor. There was a small parking lot just on the right side of the building but Zoro figured it was best to knock and great the landlord first.

"Wow, Zoro this looks really nice!" Zoro saw the sparkle on Chopper's eyes. He was happy that his little brother liked the new place he got for them.

"This is the cheapest one here you know."

"This is the cheapest one?! This actually looks like one of the most expensive apartments in Shimotsuki City!" Chopper was waving his hands in the air as if he was emphasizing how impressed he was with the difference between their old home and the new one.

"Well let's go check it out." Zoro grinned and shuffled Chopper's curly hair.

The boys rang the doorbell and waited for a few minutes. They heard footsteps and the door opened. They were greeted by a beautiful black haired lady with blue eyes that smiled at them with delight.

"Are you Zoro?" She asked in a sweet voice.

"Yeah, I'm here for the apartment?" The green-haired man nodded. Chopper hid behind Zoro's back as he was very shy with other people. He was very open to Zoro but when it comes to other people or at least strangers, he was very quiet.

"Come on in, I'm the landlady. My name's Nico Robin." Robin opened the door widely and gestured for the brothers to enter their new house. When they entered the apartment they were greeted with a hallway full of bookcases and statues that look like it was from the ancient times. There were two doors on the right side of the hallway, one was open that showed the staircase and the other was closed and the brothers assumed it was the landlady's apartment.

Chopper observed the bookcase near the main door and his eyes lit up with delight. "Zoro! These books are old medicine books! There are different techniques that I could learn from here! Maybe I could combine them and develop a better technique?!"

"Woah there buddy those aren't hours." Zoro patted Chopper's back and pointed at Robin to let his little brother know that they were hers.

"Are you interested in my books?" Robin chuckled and looked at Chopper.

"Y-yes..." Chopper was startled with the question and hid behind Zoro's back. There was a blush creeping up his cheeks.

"He's really shy but he's a sweet boy. This is Chopper, my brother. He got a scholarship at the Medicine course in Marie Jois University." Zoro said with a proud tone on his voice.

"How wonderful! You can borrow my books anytime you want. You can knock on my door and I'll show you my whole library." The lady smiled and there was an aura she was emitting that made Chopper feel safe and at home and he felt like he immediately warmed up to the lady. He moved from Zoro's back to directly talk to Robin.

"Can I really?" He asked with his big cute eyes.

"Of course, You're a cute doctor after all." She answered with a sweet smile.

"It's not like your compliment made me happy!" Chopper smiled and started to clap his hands and buried his face on his palms hiding how red his face turned. Robin chuckled at Chopper's reaction and appreciated how cute the teenage boy was.

"I should show you your apartment. You'll be living on the third floor." Robin gestured for the three of them to climb up the stairs. Robin went first while Zoro and Chopper followed. "The only apartment mates you'll have here are me, I live on the first floor, as you guessed and Usopp who lives here on the second floor." Robin gestured at the door they were facing when they climbed up the first set of stairs.

There was a loud explosion that surprised Zoro and Chopper. Zoro immediately pushed Chopper behind his back out of instinct while Robin just chuckled in amusement.

"Don't worry, Usopp's a mechanic you'll get used to it." Suddenly they heard running and shouting from the inside of the apartment. "Oh I think he's burning himself alive," The landlady said with a smile on her face.

This surprised both Zoro and Chopper, they couldn't hide the horror on their faces. The door swung open and they were greeted by a comical face that had both his eyes and tongue out in a spiral manner.

"ROBIIIN!" Chopper shouted in surprise and Zoro instinctly grabbed the face and to his surprise, a mask was in his hand and he gazed at it for a few seconds before looking at the man standing at the door.

The man with curly black hair tied in a bun and long nose laughed. "That was an amazing greeting, wasn't it? That was how we used to greet worthy people who didn't need to go thru a trial to live with us." The guy pointed himself with his thumb and he looked very proud of his obvious fake story.

"Really?!" But Chopper didn't know it was a lie. He was impressed with the man because even though he nearly scared Chopper to death it was still a unique way of greeting new neighbors.

"Yeah! I got a whole bunch of tools inside from my adventures, Do you wanna see?" Before Chopper could say anything, Zoro stopped him because he knew Chopper would say yes. His whole face lit up with excitement when he heard the word "adventure" come out from Usopp's mouth. "Okay buddy, let's unpack first."

"I'm Usopp by the way! Just come back later if you want!" Usopp grinned and waved goodbye to Chopper. Robin, Chopper and Zoro climbed the stairs once again and when they got to the top they were greeted by a blue door.

"Now this is your apartment. It's a two bedroom apartment which also includes a balcony." Robin keyed the lock and opened the door. She gave a key to Zoro and smiled. "We can talk about the payment some other time. Just settle here first. I can see you both look like you need some sleep. You can park your car anywhere in the parking lot on the right side of the building"

"Thanks, We'll knock once we're done with the unpacking."

"The moving truck already arrived here first so your things should probably be already inside. Well then, I'll go down now. Just knock on my door when you need something" Robin once again smiled and winked at Chopper before she climbed down the stairs.

"Let's get inside then." Zoro and Chopper slowly entered the door. When they entered their new apartment they were first greeted by the shoe rack and a door for the closet. If they look at their left side, they saw a hallway that leads to a small bedroom. The boys decided to check what was behind the wall of the closet first. The apartment had an "open concept" type of feel to it since the walls were white and the living room area was connected to the kitchen and dining area in an L manner. Their furniture was placed on the corner and was covered by a large white cloth to protect it from the dust. There was a glass door that gives the place a natural light, though it was getting darker since the sun was setting. When they walked towards the tail of the L part of the apartment, they saw their kitchen lined up at the left side of the wall. It was the usual kitchen with a refrigerator, cabinets at the bottom and a sink, it was all white and black though. What wowed them the most was the oven and dishwasher, they didn't have one of those back at their old place. They went back to the hallway and they were greeted by two doors on the right side. They opened the first door and saw a washing machine and dryer inside.

"Zoro! We don't have to go outside to do laundry anymore! I'll take that off the budget now." Chopper exclaimed and made a mental note. He surely was loving the new apartment.

They got to the next door and it was the bathroom. They got to the end of the mini hallway and was greeted by the first bedroom. It was a small bedroom with a window in the opposite wall of the door. The moving guys placed Chopper's bed, study table, and bookshelf on the corner under a white cloth. There were about five boxes beside it too.

"You like it?" Zoro asked with a smile on his face. He already knows the answer. It was all over Chopper's face.

"I do!" Chopper ran inside and started opening the boxes beside his bed to start unpacking and start decorating his room.

"Remember to wipe the dust first okay? I packed cleaning supplies on one of the boxes in the living room." Zoro reminded his little brother since he saw light dust on the walls.

"I know!"

Zoro chuckled and continued to his room. It was the door at the end of the hallway. It didn't really look that much different from Chopper's except he didn't have a whole wall of closet, just a small one, and his window was at the side of their apartment balcony. Zoro looked at the scenery outside his window and saw that the sky was already dark.

"Chopper let's check the balcony first." Zoro knocked on Chopper's door where he saw him sorting out his clothes in his closet.

The boys went outside and were mesmerized by the view. Living on the third floor, of course, had its perks and this was definitely one of them. They could see the city lights that were like stars that were twinkling in the sky. It was very different from their old city where at this time people were already turning off their lights to sleep, here in this city people were still outside getting to where they needed to go.

"I'm starting to love this place." Chopper said while gazing at the beautiful view in front of him.

"So do I."

Zoro was awakened by the light coming from the window. He slowly opened his eyes and the first thought he had was where the fuck am I? He sat up and looked around his room and finally realized where he was at, oh right we moved. He slowly stood up, stretched his body, did some "light exercise" of a thousand push-ups to warm up and left his room. The smell of bacon filled his nose and he immediately knew Chopper already cooked breakfast for them.

"You should've just relaxed today." The man said as he entered the kitchen and saw Chopper cooking pancakes which were a great partner for the bacon.

"I'm just cooking breakfast Zoro, and it's already pass nine and I'm very hungry." Chopper answered as he flipped the pancake. "You do remember that I'm supposed to go to the university today right?"

"Oh shit, was that today?" Zoro couldn't hide the oh shit expression he had on his face. Of all the days he would forget it was the day they would visit Chopper's new campus for the first time. Chopper placed the last pancake on a plate and Zoro picked it up to place on their table.

"Yes, it's today at 1 pm" The boy took a bite from his food and picked up his phone from the side of his plate. He scrolled through his emails and showed Zoro the message he received from his new school.

"So you've got admission things you need to do." Zoro read the email and saw that Chopper needed a guardian since even though he was a college student, he was still underage.

The boy nodded and they silently finished their breakfast. Zoro told Chopper to get ready while he washed the dishes. After finishing the dishes, Zoro sat at their sofa and was in deep thought. Now that they were at Marie Jois city, he needed to find a job to support their finances. He still had backup money that could maybe last for a couple of months but after that, they would be broke. That money was what he won from his races the past few months, he started racing like crazy before they moved since he knew they needed money. He could apply for part-time jobs around the city to cover up for their bills but he knew he still wanted to race. There was a certain euphoria he felt every time he was on the wheel and he certainly liked that winning feeling he had whenever he comes first place. It wasn't an official racing match like the world cup but it was so rewarding to win a race. If he wanted to race around this city he needed to see what type of racers this city had. He knew that Marie Jois City was known to be a racer's den at night, racers from around the world come to the city and race to be the best. Despite its government to be very strict with their road rules, the roads here were definitely a good place to train himself and tune his car up to be able to beat Mihawk. To introduce himself to the racing community, he needed someone to show him where the race usually takes place and fill him in about who was the best.

The knock on their door interrupted Zoro's thoughts. Zoro stood up and opened their front door and the first thing he saw was a long nose.

"Hey there! I know you're new here and you don't even know where the bus stops are. I've got some free time today. Do you want the Great Usopp to tour you around?" Usopp wiggled his eyebrows. Zoro was unsure of what he should answer. He was very cautious of whom he interacts with since he didn't know if the guy was a bad guy that could be a bother to their lives.

"Usopp! Maybe you could show us where Marie Jois University is?" Zoro nearly facepalmed himself when Chopper easily accepted the man's invitation. Chopper just got out from the shower and he had a towel over his curly hair. Not that he was judging so badly since when Zoro double looked the man he didn't have any bad aura coming off of him.

"Oh right, Robin told me you were accepted for their scholarship! That's amazing but not as amazing as me!" Usopp said with a grin. "I can take you there. What time do you need to be there?"

"Did you just call me amazing?! I'm not that amazing! " Chopper tried to hide his face with the towel he had on top of his head. The boy just couldn't take compliments.

"We need to be there at 1." Zoro answered and accepted Usopp's invitation. There's nothing he could really do here since Chopper seems to like the guy and maybe even Usopp knows how the street works.

The three of them were finally ready for their errand of the day and their first trip together as a group. They said goodbye to Robin and headed outside to the parking lot and stopped in front of two cars that were under a brown and violet cloth.

"We take our cars here very seriously, they're our babies. That's Robin's car under the violet one." Usopp grinned, a very proud one at that. It was like he was preparing for this moment his entire life. He was just going to show them his car.

The cloth revealed a dark red car, the same color as the Doritos nacho cheese flavor. The car's hood was long and big that even without opening the hood you could already determine that the car's engine was a different class from normal cars. The headlights looked like they were the eyes of a robot and the brake lights had three of those faces that scared Chopper and Zoro yesterday. The mirrors were shaped like wings. The hubcaps of the wheels were colored gold and were shaped like a star. The top of the trunk also had a small spoiler attached to it. Finally, there were only two doors on the side of the car that makes it look like a two-seater car but when you take peek on the inside there was a seat that could fit two people on the back.

"Isn't this a Toyota Supra?" Zoro said with awe as he eyed the car from the hood to the trunk. "Weren't they faced out during the early 20's?"

"Yeah, the base is a Toyota Supra but I changed the inside completely. I also added some touches on the appearance as you can see." Usopp winked. "This baby..." He slapped his car roof to emphasize his next phrase. "Can run faster than a jaguar."

"Wow! That's amazing Usopp! Are you a street racer?!" Chopper asked with sparkles on his eyes, clearly amazed by Usopp's car and Usopp himself.

"Hmmmm... Am I?" The long-nosed man placed his thumb and pointer finger on his chin, as if he was thinking of something deep. "I know you're amazed by me and have a lot of questions but we should get going. You guys might get late."

Usopp unlocked his car and opened the driver seat. He bends the seat to let Chopper enter the seat at the back. Chopper happily entered his car and was amazed by how comfy his seats were. The ride to Marie Jois University was filled with funny stories Usopp told that were not lies. He told them of a time he was driving his car so fast that he was able to climb the mountain walls by driving upwards.

"You're a street racer aren't you?" Zoro asked randomly since his curiosity was eating his brain. Besides the obvious fact that his car was pumped up, there were multiple buttons beside the wheels and the shift had an additional gear.

"I'm the best one out there!" Usopp answered proudly. Zoro rolled his eyes, he knew he was lying but Chopper believed him. "I do race, but I don't always do it. I enjoy racing but I enjoy building cars for racing more." There was silence between the three of them as Usopp made a turn and entered a gate that had a sign above that read "Marie Jois University". They were met by an intersection that had signs which directed to the buildings of the different majors that the school offered. Usopp made a right turn to lead them to the Medicine Building. Along the way, Chopper saw students walking at the sidewalk with a pile of books in their arms and he never felt this excited to learn new knowledge about medicine.

"If you're interested I can upgrade your Civic but you have to meet my crew first." Usopp said barely audible but Zoro understood what he said. The car was slowing down indicating that they were at their destination.

"I don't deal with crews." Zoro sternly answered. He prefers to work alone. He was a lone wolf and thought that crews were troublesome to deal with since those type of groups usually got into fights more often and he wasn't in the position for those since Chopper might get into the mess.

"At least just meet them first, they're not that bad." The long-nosed man said with a grin. "You have my number now right? Just text me after you're done with the admission process and we can meet up."

"Thanks for the lift Usopp!" The small curly-haired boy exclaimed with an excited expression on his face. He was basically beaming. Zoro got down first and bent his seat down to let Chopper out of the car. He waved goodbye to Usopp as the man drove away.

When they turned around to face the school they saw a large white building that looked like a coliseum. Large words were printed on top of the door that said "Marie Jois Medicine Department". There was a fountain in the middle that has a statue of two snakes winding around a winged staff, a symbol of medicine, in its core. Students were walking around with multiple books on their hands and their eyes were as black as a panda. Everyone and everything looked different from high school and Chopper suddenly felt overwhelmed by everything.

"Zoro, I think everyone here is on a different level." Chopper said with an intimidated expression on his face.

"And you're a level above them." A simple sentence like that was enough for Chopper's worry to fade. His brother always knew what to say when he felt lost and he knew that Zoro was always there for him and it made him feel like he could do anything. Zoro slapped Chopper's back to slam the boy with confidence again. "You've got this."

"I've got pain in my back." The boy joked as he rubbed the place where Zoro slapped him. Zoro was a tall and muscular man so a simple slap on his back was enough for Chopper's lungs to come out.

The two brothers entered the school building and the inside was just as amazing as the outside. Though the outside had an old but elegant feel to it, the inside had a modern design. The entrance hall had a huge staircase that leads to a second floor where they saw students were reading books and lounging around. There were four huge doors that lead to different departments on the first floor. The first thought Chopper had was that he needed to hold his big brother's hand or he wouldn't find the guy for a week.

"Where do we go?" Chopper said his thought out loud, he was worried that he would be late for his appointment, it wasn't a good image to start with after all. The building had different hallways and rooms and it might take ages for them to find the admissions center. The only way they could get there on time is to ask how to get there.

"You're blocking the way." The boys turned around to see a black haired man with a very deep and black eyebags who had tattooed letters on his fingers that when put together spelled "DEATH".

"You can just walk past us, there are no people around!" Zoro raised his eyebrows and looked around him to check if there were other people in the large entrance of the building. There were none, and the man could have just avoided them and went on his day.

"Zoro... We are blocking the way..." Chopper said in a low voice. He didn't want trouble before he could even start going to classes.

"Oi Law, don't scare them." A man wearing a white lab coat came up to them. He was wearing eyeglasses and he had blonde hair on top of his head but the sides were completely bald. Somehow, he reminded them of a pineapple. "I'm guessing you're looking for the admissions?" He questioned with a smile.

"Yes." Chopper answered the man. The boy glanced at Zoro, who was having a staring contest with Law.

"I'll take you there. I'm Marco, a professor at this university and this..." Marco placed his hand on Law's shoulder and gave it one light slap. "is Law. Despite him looking like a criminal, this guy is a graduating student and the top one at that." Chopper looked at Law in a different light. At first, he thought the guy was a delinquent but now he sees him as a star student. He thought the guy must be very grumpy because he was staying up all night to study and do school work, he can see it in the guy's eye bags.

"Go to your class, Law. You'll be late." Marco looked at Law and shooed him away. Law gave the brothers one final look before he turned his back and walked to his class.

"Don't worry, he's a pretty nice guy if you get to meet him better. He's not in a great mood this morning because of school work. Now then, shall we?" The professor smiled and gestured that they climb the stairs. He escorted them all the way to the admission area where he told them to sit down at the reception and wait for a while. Marco gave Zoro a clipboard to fill up Chopper's personal information while they were waiting.

"This is it Zoro." Chopper whispered while watching Zoro filling up the form. Zoro grunted to acknowledge what Chopper said. They knew they would move to Marie Jois City but it felt like a dream that when they wake up it would go away but now that they're here with their fancy new apartment and Chopper's new amazing school everything finally felt real for the both of them and they're proud of how far they come. They both waited patiently on their seats and after thirty minutes Marco came back and asked for the clipboard.

"Sorry, the dean got busy with work so he asked me to process your admission instead uhhh..." He looked at the clipboard to see the name of his client. "Mr. Chopper?" Marco questioningly looked at Zoro because he thought the name didn't quite fit the guy. Zoro made the no motion with his head and pointed at the actual Chopper beside him. The professor made a questionable expression with his face at first but then he immediately lit up like he remembered something.

"Oh! You're that genius kid the faculty's talking about!" Marco exclaimed with a huge grin on his face. "Everyone's excited to meet you!"

"Don't call me a genius! It doesn't make me happy!" Chopper hid his blushing face in his hands. He couldn't take the compliment that the whole faculty knows about him and recognizes his talent. The thought gave him a confidence boost. Marco looked at Zoro to ask if Chopper was okay and the green-haired man nodded his head in response. The pineapple-haired man chuckled.

"We'll just do a short orientation." Marco leads the two boys to an office where they talked about the requirements for Chopper's scholarship. The man explained that the boy needed to maintain an above average GPA to maintain his scholarship and that it only covers the whole tuition for his years at the university. So the money to buy for books and medical equipment needed to come out from their pockets. If the school also needed a student volunteer they'd need Chopper to be there to help them. Marco showed them the school curriculum and available subjects they had for the semester. He suggested that Chopper shouldn't rush since they still had a month before the semester starts but he also told him to pass the schedule he wanted two weeks before. Marco made Zoro sign a contract about the conditions for Chopper's scholarship. The school knew Chopper was still underage so they made his guardian sign for him and included him to the orientation just to be sure that they know what the boy was about to go through. After a short two hour talk with Marco, they finished the first step of the admission process and told them to come back with the schedule.

"I'll see you in class then, Chopper." Marco said while shaking the boy's hand. After their exchange, the brothers left the room and walked to the exit of the school building where they texted Usopp to come and pick them up.

"Well, that went well huh?" Zoro ruffled Chopper's hair as if telling him that he did a good job and that he was very proud of him. Before Chopper could answer there was a loud grumble from his stomach.

"Hungry?" The man asked and Chopper nodded in agreement.

"I've got packed lunch in my bag, we could eat it while waiting for Usopp." Chopper opened his backpack and took out the lunchboxes he made, he figured that they might get hungry while waiting and that a homemade lunch would cost cheaper than eating outside. The two brothers found a tree near the road where they sat down and ate their lunch. It was a nice spot where Usopp can easily spot them. Usopp replied that he might be late because he visited a friend on the campus and that he was still with them which was fine for the boys because they didn't have anything else to do that day and a short picnic was nice. They ate their lunch while talking about how the university will be for Chopper and after they had their fill Zoro fell asleep laying on the grass while Chopper read the curriculum and available subjects Marco gave him.

It was silent until a loud screeching sound of tires and explosive sounds of engine disturbed their peace. Chopper looked around to see where the noise was coming from but all he saw were students, who were also chilling on the school grounds, shook their heads and facepalmed and just had this expression of "not again" in their faces.

When Chopper faced the road, he saw a small white car speeding. The bottom half of the car, as well as the hood and side mirrors, were colored black. It was too far away to see most of the details but he saw that the windows weren't tinted so you could see a silhouette of a person with a strawhat sitting on the driver's seat. There was a red Ferrari behind him trying to catch up but the white car suddenly burst speed as flames from the back of the car erupted. The car suddenly stopped on the nearest tree to where Chopper and Zoro were sitting under. There were tire marks on the road and Chopper could hear laughing from the white car. The Ferrari stopped beside the white car and rolled down the window in the passenger's seat and started shouting. It was amazing how Zoro was still asleep during the whole act.

"REMEMBER THIS STRAWHAT." A man with blue hair and a big red nose stuck his head out for a second to look at the white car's driver and stared at him to try and intimidate him. But Chopper could hear a loud laugh from the white car, the clown man looked irritated and just drove away in defeat.

"I'll beat you as many times as you like Buggy!" A boy with a stawhat stuck his upper body outside as he shouted and waved goodbye to Buggy. Now that the white car was closer, Chopper saw the plate on the back of the car that said "KING" and taillights that had three X on each side. There were three exhaust pipes on the back and the hubcap was also shaped like an X. Chopper stood up and walked to see the details on the front side of the car. He saw that the headlights were slanted on each side and that the hood was wider than most cars but the thing that interested him most was the word "TRUENO" in the middle part of the bumper. Overall, the car looked old but the thing still beat a Ferrari at full speed.

"You wanna race me?" Chopper didn't notice but the boy at the driver's seat got out of his car and was watching the boy while he was examining his car. The freckled boy noticed that the driver had black hair and a scar on his left eye. A huge X scar was also visible on his chest under his white thin shirt. Chopper was curious about the scar since he looked too young to have such big injuries but he was a racecar driver after all.

"Ah! I'm not a racer so..." The boy looked disappointed with Chopper's answer but before he could say anything a loud grumble could be heard and Chopper looked at the boy.

"I'm hungry, do you have any food? I'm Luffy by the way!" The sudden change of topic surprised Chopper but the expression of hunger from Luffy's face was something he couldn't resist. Chopper scanned the place where Zoro was sleeping, looking at the lunchboxes that were spread near the man and remembered that he still had some fried eggs left, it was food for dinner but it seemed like Luffy needed it more. "I think we've still got some food left."

Luffy clapped with joy and followed Chopper to their picnic place. Chopper handed him the eggs and he looked at the food with sparkles in his eyes. It was like he saw fried eggs for the very first time. He positioned himself to sit on the grass not noticing a certain green-head sleeping right below him. Before Chopper could warn him, Luffy sat on Zoro's face and like right on cue Luffy felt some air he needed to release and right there and then he did.

Zoro immediately woke up and pushed Luffy away coughing for some fresh air. Luffy not only laughed at the sight in front of him, which happened because of what he did but also because he didn't know a man can blend so well with the grass. Zoro layed on the grass again taking deep breathes to rejuvenate his nose that took a huge bomb from some asshole. He was about to kick someone's ass for that.

"I like you both! You should join my crew!"

Zoro stood up and walked towards Luffy. He grabbed Luffy by the collar and looked directly in his eyes with a menacing look but Luffy kept on laughing. Chopper knew where this was going and he was scared for Luffy. Most of the time Zoro was calm but when he gets angry, he really gets angry that he can beat up a person until they can't walk anymore. To avoid the worst to happen, the boy tried to calm his brother by pulling his shirt. It was a small gesture but it was something.

"Oi, Luffy!" As if an angel came down from heaven, Usopp came just right on time to stop the fight that was about to spark. The long-nosed man closed his door on the driver's side and walked towards the group. "You like them? They're the two brothers I was texting to you about!"

"They're funny! This guy..." Zoro released Luffy from his grip and the strawhat boy patted his hair to emphasize his next statement. "looks like the grass! And that little guy there gave me food!"

"So you do like them?" Usopp asks again not really getting the answer he wanted from Luffy.

"I do! And I want them to join the crew." Zoro swatted Luffy's hand out of his head.

"We're not going to join your crew! What crew do you even have?! A pirate crew?!"

"As I said before that I AM the captain of my own crew, Luffy here is the captain of another crew that I am in, I took pity on them because they need my greatness!" Usopp answers while pointing himself with his thumb. Zoro knew he was lying but Chopper still believed him and even Luffy did too! Now that he thought about it, Zoro confirmed that Usopp was a streetcar racer and if this boy was their captain then he must be the best one in their crew. It would be a good idea to race Luffy to warm up to the racers of Marie Jois City.

"Whatever, I don't care about your crew. Let's just race to see who's the best one here."

"I won't take no as an answer. Whatever you might think, you and that small guy there are in our crew now." Luffy answered confidently. It was like he didn't understand what Zoro was saying and just kept on making the decision for them.

"You don't have to join the crew if you don't want to, Luffy’s just a bit stubborn" Luffy looked at Usopp with a scrunched face, obviously disagreeing with what he said. "What do you mean they don't have too? They're already in the crew!" Usopp looked at Luffy again in disbelief but sighed in defeat and facepalmed to try to slap the headache away. "Forgive him, he's just like this."

“Are you sure he’s just a bit stubborn?” Zoro mocked Usopp’s statement earlier. They looked at Luffy who was picking his nose reaching far for a treasure inside his nose. He was really a stubborn man.

“He’s a pain in the ass but he’s a good captain, not like me though, but anyway! You guys should meet our crew!”

"I want to meet them they seem fun!" Chopper said in a nearly inaudible voice. The boy was quiet for a while that Zoro almost forgot he was there. The look in his eyes tells Zoro that he seems excited to meet these people, it was new since Chopper was a very shy boy and he doesn’t open up to just anyone. Maybe this crew was a good thing for Chopper’s development. Although they still won’t join Luffy but maybe they might hang out with them sometimes.

“That’s it! They’ll like you little guy!” Luffy agreed giving him a wide grin and a thumbs up.

"Let’s go then." Everyone was looking at Zoro and waiting for his approval. It was really hard to say no at this situation especially when Chopper asks for something, he rarely asks for anything after all. When they all heard his approval, they all cheered like little kids who got candies.

Zoro didn’t agree to ride with Luffy since this was the first time they met and he really wasn’t sure if he was a safe driver not for him but for Chopper. So, the two brothers were sitting in Usopp’s car while Luffy was right in front of them to lead the way to their crew hideout. During the car ride Usopp was telling them stories about their crew. They were called the "Strawhat Crew" and they were well-known within the city and they were gaining popularity outside. He told them that one day Luffy was visiting his city, Syrup City, and he beat some street racing punks that were causing trouble within the city. The punks then left the city alone after Luffy confronted them. A funny thing was that Syrup City wasn't really fond of street racers so they didn’t see him as a hero but acknowledged the deed he did. Luffy then asked Usopp to join him and he decided to come with him to Marie Jois City to start a new life and live his dream of building fast race cars and that was the reason why he was living at the best city in the world.

The two brothers were amazed by his story. It didn’t seem like it was a made-up story like what Usopp usually tells all the time the details seemed too real. Whatever the case was, what Zoro got from the story was that Luffy wasn’t that bad of a guy. He seems like a great guy to be Chopper’s friend.

Their ride ended when they got to the far end of Marie Jois City where the road meets the sand and the sea. Usopp’s car stopped in front of a huge building, the top part had a big lion head with rays that were supposed to be the fur surrounding the face in a circle. For a hideout, that large thing pretty much gave them away. There was a huge garage door that automatically opened and following Luffy, Usopp entered and parked his car inside. When the two brothers got out of Usopp’s car they saw multiple cars parked inside a huge gray garage and the cars were hidden under a cloth like the mechanics didn’t want anyone to see what they were making.

"Our builder likes to keep his projects hidden so you'll see a lot of those here." Usopp pointed to a row of cars under clothes and each cloth had different colors. It was like the cars were coded for a specific person. He gestured the two brothers to follow him towards a door. They opened the door to find a huge room with wooden walls that makes them feel like they were inside a ship. It really felt like the crew hideout was a legitimate pirate crew from the seas. There was a long bar with different alcohol drinks displayed, a huge U shape red sofa in the center of the room with a large flat screen TV in front of the seat. A large aquarium on the wall where a variety of fish can be seen got Chopper’s curiosity. The feel of the room was homey and Chopper and Zoro felt comfortable and hungry because there was a delicious aroma of food coming out of the door on the other side of the room.

"SANJIIII! ARE YOU COOKING? I'M HUNGRY!" Luffy burst from the door behind them surprising the two brothers. "Sanji makes good food." Luffy told Chopper with saliva falling down from his lips. With a statement and expression like that and with an amazing aroma within the room, how can Chopper not believe him. The boy followed a hungry Luffy to the kitchen door where they disappeared.

"Don't worry about them. The only thing you should be worried about is Chopper getting too fat from good food." Usopp chuckled thinking about a cute little chubby Chopper. He walked towards the sofa and sat down and gestured for Zoro to come sit with him. Zoro took Usopp's word and felt less worried about where and what Chopper was doing at the moment. The boy knows what to do if something comes up anyway. Besides for Chopper to make friends, he also had another agenda why he came with them. He needed to meet these people and see if he can get any information about the different crews and who needed to beat to be the best in this city.

"Oh, hey Brook! Where's Franky?" Zoro didn’t see the old man sitting on the couch, not until Usopp talked to him at least. He was very thin that he almost looks like a skeleton, he had a big afro black hair, and he wore a nice suit. Overall, he looked very fancy.

"Ah! Usopp! He's with Nami. They went to get some gears for Nami's car." Brook looked at Zoro and gave him a warm welcoming smile. "Who might this be?" He questioned as he acknowledged Zoro’s presence.

"This is one of the guys who moved in the apartment above me. This is Zoro." Usopp patted the green-haired man’s shoulder who only grunted in response, he wasn’t really feeling chatty that day.

"Are they the guys Luffy texted Franky about?" Brook stood up and walked towards the corner of the room to get a violin case. He removed the instrument from its case and started checking if the tune of the violin was in perfect shape.

"Yeah! They are." Usopp answered.

"Well then, I should play a song for our new friends." The old man started playing his violin and a soft song can be heard inside the room, it was relaxing and Zoro felt peace after a long crazy day but the short moment of relaxation was interrupted when they heard a scream coming out of the kitchen.

"LUFFY! YOU'RE EATING ALL THE FOOD BEFORE I EVEN GET TO SERVE IT." A man's voice echoed throughout the whole house. Luffy was then thrown out across the room with a huge steak on his mouth and another two on both of his hands. "I jufst whantedf toof tasfte ift." He said while chewing his food, they really couldn’t understand him because of the food on his mouth but they knew he was just trying to defend himself.

A man with blonde hair covering his right eye, which Zoro thought was really ridiculous, came out from the kitchen with plates on both of his hands. Chopper was right behind him with a single plate too. They went to the bar and placed the food on top of the counter.

"Thanks Chopper, you're a good boy." Sanji said with a smile. The man got a fork, knife and plate from the counter drawers and gave Chopper a slice of the steak. Chopper was shy to receive the plate of food at first but Sanji looked persistent and the boy gladly accepted it. The first bite of the steak brought Chopper’s taste buds to heaven because the meat was so soft and the juices were oozing out of the meat that gave it additional taste that he couldn’t resist.

"I take it that you like it." The blonde man chuckled and lighted a cigarette that he placed on his mouth. Chopper’s expression gave it away, he couldn’t talk because of how good the food tasted like. This was the first time he tasted anything so good.

"This is really delicious!" Chopper said while he was slicing the steak into pieces. He couldn’t wait for another bite. "I never tasted something this good in my life before!"

"Right? Right? Sanji makes the best food in the world!" Luffy spread his arms out to give emphasis to his statement. Sanji kicked him in the head because he knew the reason why he spread his arms like that was to get food from the plate again.

"So, are you going to introduce these two new friends to us Luffy?" Sanji looked at Luffy expecting him to act like a captain at this moment. Although he respects his captain’s decisions, he still needs to be wary of the two new recruits. Though Chopper looked too pure to be a bad addition, he was actually happy that Luffy asked him to join.

"I never asked their names yet." Luffy answered with a laugh.

"Why do you do this." Sanji facepalmed not really knowing what he expected because Luffy was their captain after all.

"I'll introduce them to you!" Usopp stood up from his seat and pointed at Zoro. "This is Zoro." He then pointed at Chopper. "And that, I guess you already know, but that is Chopper! He got a scholarship at the Medicine Department at Marie Jois University! And he’s only fifteen years old!"

"So, you're a genius boy." Sanji ruffled Chopper's hair who was still enjoying his piece of steak. Chopper choked and looked at Sanji with a blush on his face. He still didn’t know what to do when someone compliments him.

"Don't say that! I'm not that smart!" Chopper said while he hid his blushing face on his hands.

"He can't take compliments," Usopp answered Sanji’s confused look and the blonde man nodded, understanding a part of Chopper’s personality.

"Oh what! You're a doctor?" Luffy looked at Chopper with sparkles in his eyes, clearly impressed with what he said. "That's so great! Now we have a doctor in our crew!"

Chopper dropped his knife and fork to bend down on his knees, hide his face and kept saying. "I'm not that good!" Everyone except Zoro were laughing at Chopper’s cute reaction. The phrase “joining the crew” were words Zoro didn’t want to hear from anyone in the room since they really weren’t going to join. It was a dangerous world and he didn’t want Chopper to get caught up in something that might ruin his life.

"We're not joining your crew." Zoro interrupted the fun and had a stern look on his face. Luffy looked at him and studied his expression for a while then he grinned, the next thing he said surprised everyone inside the room. "Want to race then? If I win you'll join us. If you win, I'll let you go." There was silence in the air as it got heavier and intense.

"Zoro, they're not bad people." Chopper stood up from his crouching position and looked at his brother. He was trying to coax him to join the crew without any race or fight. It didn’t really seem like they needed persuading because he himself, wanted t to join the crew.

"Things might get dangerous and you still got a huge future ahead of you." Zoro was trying to be a responsible brother for Chopper at the moment. This was a decision he had to make for themselves. "I'll race you tomorrow for it. But Chopper's out of that bet. You got it?"

"I better be out of that bet because I'm joining this crew! I believe I’m matured enough to make my own decisions now." Chopper looked at him and Zoro saw how upset his brother was getting. This was the first time he answered him like this. It wasn’t like he didn’t trust Chopper to make his own decisions, Chopper was the one making the household decisions after all. But he knew the world of street car racing more than him.

“You can’t race you’re too young!” The green-haired man shouted making the air in the room heavier since this was a fight between family.

“I’m only saying that you both should join the crew, not race with the crew. Everyone here has their own thing that helps the crew move forward to be the number one.” Luffy spoke like how a captain would respond to the situation. Everyone looked at him in shock because of how responsible Luffy sounded, he wasn’t all food and games after all.

"Fine. Do your own thing." Zoro said as he was looking at Chopper who was sending a thumbs up sign to Luffy. This was his defeat, Luffy and Chopper had their points and he knew that whatever happens he will be there at Chopper’s side.

"Let's race tomorrow night then." Luffy grinned returning to the challenge at hand. The strawhat boy had a look on his face that said that Luffy was so sure that he was going to win the race. It fired up Zoro's determination to win and beat Luffy’s grinning ass so bad. If he was going to join this crew, even if he didn’t want to but the opponent won fair and square, the captain needed to earn his respect anyway and the only way he could do that is if he beat him in a race.

"If you want me in your crew, you need to earn my respect." Zoro stated his condition and looked at Luffy in the eyes to try and intimidate him but the boy laughed, he looked amused by the whole situation.

"I really want you in my crew now."

The door suddenly opened and revealed a man with blue hair who was wearing speedos and a woman with long orange hair wearing jeans and a plain black shirt. They stopped and looked at each of them with a confused expression. Both of them could feel the tension in the air.

"What's with the heavy atmosphere?" The blue-haired man said removing his sunglasses and putting the box he was holding on one hand on the floor.

"NAMIII!" Sanji bent his knee in front of Nami and held a rose he grabbed somewhere in the room. "You still look beautiful as ever." Nami rolled her eyes not interested in Sanji’s rose but she looked at Luffy who was still grinning from ear to ear. She followed her gaze and found a man staring at Luffy and a boy who seems scared. "I'm guessing those two are the "two new friends" you found this morning."

"Yeah! Chopper's joining us and he's a doctor." Luffy dragged Chopper in front of Nami. The teenage boy gave Nami a small wave too shy to say something but Nami gave him a warm smile, welcoming him to his new home. "Zoro wants to race with me first before he joins." He said again pointing at Zoro. He was still so sure that he's going to win and Zoro didn’t like that one bit.

"Are you the boy Robin's talking about?!" Nami clasped his hands and pinched Chopper's cheeks. "You are so cute!"

Chopper slapped Nami's hand away and hid his blushing face in his hands "I'm not that cute!"

"Wait, you know Robin?" Zoro asked Nami curiously.

"Yeah, she's in the crew too." Nami answered. Zoro looked at her in disbelief he never thought Robin was a type of person that raced. He turned to face Usopp with a confused face to get some explaining he wanted to hear.

"I told you we take our cars seriously. I thought you'd get the hint." Usopp said shrugging his shoulders.

"I didn't think you were so dense, Zoro" Zoro heard Robin’s voice and a chuckle after her sentence. She entered the main door and looked at him with amusement.

"Alright! We're all here!" Luffy raised his hands and ran to the counter aiming for the food but Sanji kicked his face away before he could devour everything again.

"At least Introduce us properly to the guests..." Sanji danced over to Robin and took her hand and placed a sweet kiss. She doesn’t seem to mind his actions. Robin just looks at him and chuckles. "Right ROBINNNN" He said with those heart eyes again, so does he do this to every woman he meets? Zoro thought how stupid that blonde guy was.

"I’m gonna go first! I'm Franky, The engineer of the crew. Just tell me what you want and I can make the modifications to make your car extra SUPER!" Franky said as he placed his two arms together above his head completing his star tattoo. Chopper’s eyes sparkled because of how cool Franky looked in front of him. He wanted to get to know him more since he looked like a chill guy he could hang out with and maybe he could learn a thing or two about cars.

"I'm Nami, I'm a cartographer. I can make it easier for you to win a race with secret roads but you'll need to pay me." She said while doing an okay sign but obviously it meant money. Zoro could benefit a map from Nami he thought how it would make memorizing the roads at his new city easier for him. Maybe he could talk to her later about the price.

"I'm Brook, I'm a musician. Luffy said he wanted to have a musician in the group! I understand him because music makes everything fun!" The old man laughed as he played a brief piece on his violin. Luffy was nodding in agreement to what Brook said. Zoro guessed no one understood why Luffy wanted a musician in a street car racer crew since all they could hear during races were their engines.

"Sanji. I'm a chef." Sanji didn’t seem that interested in his introduction but he did give Chopper a smile since he was getting too fond of the boy.

"I know you know me but I'll tell you my role here. I'm a mechanic. I help Franky with the modifications!" Usopp said while pointing at himself with his thumb.

"I'm a historian and I just find this crew very interesting." Robin chuckled as she got confused looks from Zoro and Chopper. But it gave Zoro an idea how and why she joined the crew, maybe she was one of those who stood on the sidelines to get information.

"I'm Luffy! Captain of this crew and the future king of the roads." Luffy said with a grin on his face.

"Everyone's so great! I'm Chopper and I'm going to start studying as a Doctor and that's my brother Zoro, he's a street racer." Chopper pointed at his brother who just stood there silently. Though they were introduced a million times they still needed to introduce themselves, it was different and seemed appropriate.

"Luffy, I think you'd be happy to know that Zoro's one of the 11 rookies that popped up two years ago with you" Robin said with delight on her face. Zoro was surprised to know that the woman knew about him. But it wouldn’t be that surprising since she was a historian, they get information everywhere and maybe she uses her connections to get information of racers outside their city.

"What?! I didn't know you were that good!" Zoro was his brother but he didn't know that his big brother was one of the best. Chopper knew why though, he knew Zoro wanted him to live in the sidelines. But there wouldn’t be no harm in knowing your directionally challenged brother was a top racer in the whole wide world!

"If you're aiming for the top then it'll be troublesome if you're in my crew." Luffy had a serious expression on his face for the first time after they met. He looked like a lion who was defending his title in his pride.

"I don't plan on being the king. I just need to beat the guy who gave me this scar." Zoro briefly showed the whole crew the wide long scar he had on his chest. Luffy looked at him curiously that prompted Zoro to go on with his story. Why Zoro was explaining these things to someone he just met he doesn't know himself either. He wasn't planning on joining the crew but he was opening a private part of his life. "Mihawk's known to be the best driving a Civic and I want that title. I challenged him two years ago but he beat me and told me he finds potential in me and that I should come back and challenge him when I'm prepared."

Luffy once again became silent and looked at Zoro for a little while and grinned ear to ear, he was impressed with the man's determination. "Is that so? Then you're in my crew again." He said with his hands on his waist while he laughed a giddy laugh. "Enough with this and let's have a party for our two new members!" Luffy grabbed Zoro and Chopper in a tight hug. Chopper was laughing with his new friend but Zoro had a pained look on his face.

"I said I'm not joining!"

The party started with beers in their hands, besides Chopper, of course, he had apple juice. Brook played his violin while Luffy, Usopp, and Franky danced and sang with him. Chopper wanted to join the fun of course but he was cornered by the two women who were interested in dressing him up that they were already planning when they were going shopping with the boy. They also asked questions about his interests and how he got into medicine. Chopper told them that when he and Zoro were still in the orphanage he met two doctors who came to their place for a random check-up. They told stories of what doctors do and he got fascinated by their tales. Since then, Chopper started reading medicine books and made it his goal to treat every disease in the world.

"So, are you and Zoro not blood-related?" Nami asked curiously.

"Nope, but we're brothers." Chopper said with a grin and Nami lightly ruffled Chopper's curly hair. He was right, being brothers weren’t only about being blood related but about how they treated and respected each other. "If you'd let us, this crew can be your family too."

"Why did you join the crew?" Chopper asked while sipping his apple juice, it was to hide the huge blush creeping up from his face and tears that were forming in his eyes. He really liked the crew and thinking that the crew can be his family made him feel warm and safe.

"Luffy invited us and like how he's doing with your brother, he doesn't take no as an answer." The orange haired woman sighed while Robin chuckled beside Chopper. "But Luffy helped us..." Nami played with her glass of wine with a happy expression on her face. "Just know that even though Luffy’s an idiot, he’s the best idiot captain. We've got different stories about him but we’ll tell you about it another time. Let's just enjoy the night." She grinned and dragged Chopper to where the boys were dancing and they joined the fun.

Zoro was happy that Chopper was having a nice time with his new friends and maybe, possibly, his new friends too. Even if he didn’t join the crew, they can still be his friends, just with different ideals. He was silently drinking his beer while sitting on the couch, chilling, watching the whole crew having the time of their lives. His peaceful time by himself is going to be ruined soon because Sanji sat down beside him.

"Luffy will beat your ass so just accept his offer already." The blonde man said as he was giving his cigarette a huff. He was pretty chill for saying such an offending statement to Zoro.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Zoro looked at Sanji and he was ready to punch the person in front of him because no one in his entire life disrespected him like that and got away with it

"I'm not saying you're a weak little shit, which probably you are," Sanji smirked earning him a murderous glare from Zoro. "But Luffy seems to like you and he won't stop until you just give up and say yes."

"Well, he better gives up unless he wins tomorrow." The green-haired man answered. He was considering if he should beat the man up but for Chopper he won’t. This was a night of fun for his brother and he doesn’t want to ruin it for him so he decided to change the subject by asking a question that was bothering him ever since they got to the place. "How did you guys find this hideout?"

"This is a garage my friend used to have." Usopp slid down the couch and joined in their conversation. He drank a few gulps from his beer and wiped sweat out of his face. The man probably got tired of dancing and needed downtime. "Her name's Kaya. She gave this to us because she wanted to support the crew. I let Franky live here because he basically lives here anyway since he works on the cars day and night. It’s better for the building too because someone will take care of it."

"The hideout's location is far away from the city center so no one randomly knocks on the door. I can work in peace here." Franky sat down beside Usopp and chilled with the men sitting on the couch. The dancing stopped since Luffy and Chopper went to the bar to get some food to energize themselves while Brook chatted with the ladies probably about how nice the new additions to their crew were.

"I can add modifications to your Civic if you'd like." Franky wiggled his eyebrows like it was a physical way of telling Zoro to accept his offer. Zoro was actually considering it because if he wants to beat Mihawk, he needed to upgrade his car and skills. Franky looked like he knew what he needed to do and with the addition of Usopp’s ideas, the car would have awesome enhancements that would exceed any civic model.

"These two are the best mechanics in the world! So, you really should let them upgrade your car!" Luffy jumped behind Usopp and Franky and pulled them into a hug. It was like he was showing how proud he was of his crew members.

"Sounds promising," Zoro agreed to what Luffy said.

"Great! We'll start doing the blueprints after your race tomorrow." Usopp did a thumbs up with his hands. It was a done deal and Zoro couldn’t be more excited to see what upgrades they would do to his car. Luffy then dragged Usopp and Franky back to the dance floor and continued to party. Sanji left the couch to join Brook and the ladies and he had those heart eyes while he was talking to the girls. He looked really stupid to Zoro. When he saw his big brother alone again, Chopper went and joined him on the couch.

"Sorry if I'm being a hard-headed kid today." Chopper said in an almost faint voice. Zoro didn’t know what Chopper was being sorry for, the kid was having fun with new people he met. He was growing and spreading his wings and bit by bit tearing down that wall he made to keep strangers away. It was a proud moment for Zoro.

"I don’t know what you’re sorry for but whatever it is just forget about it. I do see that this crew seems different from the other crew I interacted with, they’re nice people and a good environment for you." Chopper's face lit up since it was rare for Zoro to warm up to people. "But I still need to see how capable their captain is."

"Whatever, do your thing. I know myself that I’ll feel at home here because I can feel that they’ll treat me, us like family”

Maybe. Just maybe, Zoro thought the same too.

Zoro started his day with a quick workout in their living room. If he wanted to win that race, he needed to be in his top shape today. He even did a minimum of 1000 pound weight for an hour. After he did his morning routine, he cooked breakfast for him and Chopper. The boy was still sleeping because they partied until 3 AM and that was past his usual bedtime so Zoro let him sleep until noon today. His race with Luffy was set at 7 PM near Merry so he still had time to tune up his car.

"G'mornin" Chopper said with a yawn as he entered the kitchen with messy hair and puffy eyes from his sleep. The boy sat down and Zoro put his plate in front of him but the boy's head was still nodding off.

"If you're still sleepy you should've just stayed in bed." Zoro grunted not really understanding why Chopper ate his breakfast while his head was still in dreamworld.

"I wanted to do my schedule today." Chopper sleepily lifted his fork and started picking up his eggs.

"You've still got a month to do those." The man had a confused face.

"Yeah, but I wanted to check if I can get classes with Dr. Hiluluk and Dr. Kureha. You know they're one of the reasons why I applied to Marie Jois University." How could Zoro forget about those two names, Chopper didn't stop talking about them since that check-up they had like seven years ago. He kept up to date about their achievements and even decided to go to the school where they taught at to see them again.

"Do what you gotta do, I'll just be downstairs tuning up my car." Zoro quickly finished his meal and politely asked Chopper to wash the dishes which the boy happily obliged to do. The man spent his entire afternoon checking if his engine was in top shape and if his car still had gas and if his tires were still good. Three hours before his race, Zoro went up to take a bath and meditate in his room. Now that his car was in top shape and that he physically felt that he was in his best form, the next thing he needed to do was mentally prepare himself. He needed to stop thinking about anything else and clear his mind. He can't race with a troubled mind after all.

"Zoro, we need to leave now." Chopper knocked on his door and slowly opened it to peek inside. He saw Zoro half naked sitting on the floor cross-legged and meditating. The man opened his eyes and looked at his baby brother. It was finally time for his first race in Marie Jois City. “Usopp said he’ll show us the way to the race track.”

On the way to their meeting place, Zoro rode alone in his car following Usopp who was in front of him. Chopper was with Usopp because he didn’t want to bother his big brother that much and he wanted to hear more stories from Usopp. The boy did warn Usopp that Zoro was directionally challenged and this surprised the long-nosed man since Zoro was a street car racer, how does he win races if he didn’t know where we he was going? As they were talking about Zoro, Usopp glanced at his mirror to check if Zoro was still behind him but not much to his surprise he didn’t see Zoro’s car. They looked for Zoro and herded him to the right path. That cycle went on for about three times before they got to the place.

They passed by the hideout and kept following the road until they got to the end part of the beach where they saw a mountain beside it. The whole strawhat crew were already there and they were all looking at the cars that stopped in front of them since they were already late for about an hour. Chopper, Usopp and Zoro got out from their cars and joined the group.

“Before anything, I just want to say that this guy is unbelievable.” Usopp was the first one to speak, he pointed at Zoro to emphasize how bewildered he was about the guy. He was the first one from Marie Jois City to experience Zoro’s unusual talent.

“Whatever! Let’s just start the race!” Luffy looked so impatient from waiting too long.

“Let’s start the race first before we talk about what happened.” Nami agreed with Luffy because she wanted the race to finish quickly.

“How do we do this?” Zoro asked Nami since she looked like she was the one officiating the race.

“Since this is an unofficial race, we won’t need any judges though a contract has been set. If Luffy wins you join the crew if Zoro wins Luffy leaves him alone.” The girl looked at both the racers and they nodded in agreement with the “prizes” the race had.

“Unofficial race?” Chopper didn’t know that street racing had rules they had to follow. He looked so confused that Usopp explain everything to him.

“There are two types of racing in street racing, the official and unofficial races. Unofficial races are usually the fun racing where they won’t bet anything big that might destroy their reputation so these races don’t need judges. Official matches are the ones where crew fights happen and this is where “contracts” happen. Contracts are what each side place as bet, most of the time captains bet their cars, money or their hideouts. Though there are times where they fight for a title that brings them closer to challenging the yonko or the top four racers where when you beat them you become the king of the roads. Judges come in the official races to make everything fair, to make sure no one cheats.” Usopp finishes his explanation and now Chopper understood the world of street racing better.

“The race type will be a sprint, the first one to come down the mountain wins.” Nami points to the top then to the makeshift finish line they did. “Both of you should get into positions.”

Zoro and Luffy started to drive towards the top of the mountain. The night was silent except for the noise from their car engines. The road was dark but the street lights gave enough light to see what was in front of them. It built up their excitement for the race. When they got to the top, Zoro was in awe when he saw the view. Marie Jois City was indeed a city that never sleeps because he could see the city lights from the top and the starry sky added a little sparkle that made the whole scene in front of him more beautiful.

"It's beautiful huh?" Zoro heard Luffy shout from his car. He looked at the boy from the driver’s seat and saw his goofy smile. "We'll have a picnic here with the whole crew next week!"

"As if I'm going!" Zoro quickly answered. It’s not like he has all the time in the world to relax, he needed to find a job to pay the bills after all. Luffy grinned ignoring what Zoro said and closed his car window.

"You two get into your position!" Nami's voice startled Zoro. He looked around to see if she was there but the only thing he saw was a drone that was above their cars. Luffy reversed his car and got into his position while Zoro did the same.

"Ready?" The two boys showed a thumbs up sign in the rear-view mirror so the drone can capture their signal to let Nami know that they were ready for the race.

"START YOUR ENGINES!" Nami’s shout echoed throughout the empty road. They could hear the cheers from the crew as they both geared up their cars. This was Zoro's first race in this city even if this wasn't an official race where money or reputation was involved, he would still take this seriously. This was a good warm up for him.

"IN 3..." He cleared his mind and stared at the road in front of him. This was really it. It was really happening.

"2..." Zoro clutched his steering wheel tightly and he could feel his palms sweating from excitement.

"1..." He could hear his heartbeat not from fear but from the thrill to be on the road again.

"GO!"

Zoro and Luffy dashed from the starting line at the same time. Their cars darted from the starting point to the curve ahead of them in seconds. The incline of the mountain road added a little more speed to their cars. For normal drivers it was dangerous and they needed to slow down to be careful but for racers the incline was a natural boost. Zoro could feel his palms sweating from his tight grip on his steering wheel.

The two racers got near to the first curve of the road. This was a part where he could gain the first spot easily by drifting ahead. As they approach the curve, Luffy grinned and pressed a button beside his steering wheel that gave him a speed boost. Zoro could swear he saw rockets come out from the side of Luffy's car. With the speed boost, Luffy easily took over the race and passed the curve in just a few seconds and he was in front of Zoro.

As Zoro passed the curve Zoro saw the two rockets from the side of Luffy's car fold and go deep inside somewhere within the vehicle. Zoro grinned, this was a thing that Marie Jois city racers had, rockets and power-ups and he was excited to beat this challenge without any of those powerups. He shifted his gear and pressed his pedal at full and his car was blasting the road away like how Luffy's car did, though he was still behind the strawhat boy. He could see another curve coming up from the road. The man couldn't remove the grin from his face, this was his chance.

As Luffy drifted at the curve Zoro saw an opening and shifted his gears, pressed the break and swerved right in front of Luffy. As he looked at his side mirror, he couldn't see Luffy and he smirked knowing that he was going to win the race. As Zoro continued driving he got confused because he couldn't see the city view from his right side like he used too. All he could see was trees and darkness and he swore this wasn't the road they passed by when they drove up the mountain. Maybe the road changed? or maybe he accidentally took a shortcut?

He kept driving and driving which felt like it took him hours until he saw the whole crew's back. Zoro could hear shouting from the distance and some loud engines that was nearly drowning the voice of the shouting person. Were they in trouble?

He parked his car behind them and got out of the vehicle and slammed his door shut. It was loud enough for the crew to know that he was there because he saw Chopper running towards him.

"What's happening? Are you hurt? I told you joining a crew was a bad thing! Just stay behind my back." Zoro instantly turned into big brother mode. The shouting and engines made him worry for the boy. It wasn’t like he wanted to diss crews so much but he was doing it for Chopper’s sake.

"I'm not hurt Zoro, I was more worried for you because Luffy got here first and said he didn’t see your headlights behind him. He told us when you drifted around the second curve you disappeared." Chopper answered calmly and crossed his arms. There was amusement in his face. How can he not be amused? "So, you got lost. How do you even win races?"

"Oh, just shut up, I'm not used to the roads here yet." Zoro answered and an old red truck passed by their side followed by two other cars that seemed like they were in pursuit. Zoro got worried and pulled Chopper to his side but the boy seemed unbothered. Chopper pulled Zoro’s shirt and pointed towards the crew, he nodded and they walked to join the small crowd.

"BUGGY! JUST GET OFF THE CAR ALREADY." A mysterious voice shouted from one of the three cars in pursuit.

"Shouldn't you all be worried about this?" Zoro asked Nami as he stood beside her, she had this unimpressed look on her face and as Zoro observed the others they all had the same bored expression.

"Well, we should be, but they're all idiots so I don't bother," Nami answered and looked at Zoro. Her bored face change to a delightful look as she saw something that interested her. "So how are you a racer if you get lost mid-race?" You can see the amusement in her eyes. Zoro rolled his eyes to ignore her enjoyment in his situation. He watched the cars again to understand what was going on.

"Who are they anyway?" He asked.

"That old red truck is Ace's car, one of Luffy's older brothers. Buggy stole it, he's the one driving it right now." Nami pointed at the red truck going circles around beach. "Those two behind him are Sabo, Luffy's other older brother and Marco, a very good friend of Ace, they're on the same crew called the Whitebeard Pirates."

"Whitebeard Pirates? That's one of the most popular crews! Isn’t their captain one of the Yonko?" Zoro was surprised to know about Luffy’s ties with a member from a well-known crew. Not that it intimidated him but more like it didn’t look like Luffy was someone who had connections. "And didn't Luffy beat Buggy in a race a few days ago?"

"Yes, and Ace and Marco are one of the top members in that crew." The man from Chopper’s school, who he almost had a fight with, stood beside Zoro and casually joined their conversation. Zoro was confused to see Law at the beach with them. "Buggy probably wanted to take revenge on Luffy. I was with Marco and Sabo when Buggy stole the car, I came with them here but I’m not stupid enough to mindlessly follow Buggy in circles. Does that answer your question?” Before Zoro could say anything snarky they were interrupted by Luffy’s loud voice.

"Oi Zoro! Where did you go? But you lost anyway so you're in my crew now!" Technically Luffy did win the race and Zoro was officially in the crew. He had to accept that fact since he did agree on the bet so he had nothing else to do Zoro wouldn’t back down on his words but he still didn’t consider Luffy as his captain, the boy needed to do something to earn his respect.

Luffy jumped and wrapped his arms on Zoro and Law's neck. "Zoro meet Torao! Our crews are good buddies!" The two men in Luffy’s grip were struggling to get out from his hold but he was strong for a thin boy.

"OI STRAWHAT! RACE ME!" Luffy released the two men when Buggy stopped the truck in front of them. He rolled his windows down and glared at Luffy.

"Sure!" Because they knew Luffy so well, it didn’t surprise the whole crew to see him accepting any challenges their captain gets from his enemies. Luffy gave Buggy a thumbs up to physically show that he was up to the challenge.

"Luffy?! Are you just gonna ignore the fact that he stole Ace's truck?!" The two cars that was follow Buggy pulled up in a corner and the drivers got out to join the commotion. Sabo gave his little brother a light slap on the head to wake up some senses in him.

"Ace is strong, why should I be worried?" Luffy looked at Sabo with a confused expression. They both know that their brother was strong and that he was capable of beating Buggy into a pulp himself so why Sabo was so worried Luffy didn’t understand.

"He's only strong because of the power-ups of this car" Buggy said with a sly grin on his face. Luffy's mood shifted from happy to angry in just a few seconds and everyone became silent. They all knew that when someone talks badly about the people that’s important to Luffy he gets ballistic. It was very sweet of him to protect his loved ones even if they weren’t there. Luffy looked furious when he returned his attention to Buggy, it might have scared the blue-haired man for a bit but he kept on going in his act.

"What did you just say?"

"You know you heard me."

"Even if he isn't using that car Ace could still beat your ass." Luffy slowly walked closer to the truck to get nearer to Buggy. He was itching to punch some senses to the clown’s head.

"I doubt it" Buggy laughed at his own joke but his cheerful moment was stopped when Luffy punched the side of Ace's truck to get his attention. That punch might have made some dents to the truck but Luffy really didn’t mind though a silent Franky was already planning on how to deal with the small damage his captain has done to Ace’s car.

"Let's race Buggy, I'll show you even with all those power-ups you can't beat me or Ace. It's not just about the boosts it's pure skill and Ace has that, you don't." Luffy challenged Buggy and the clown was up to the challenge, this was his revenge plan after all. He wanted to rile up Luffy and beat him in his most serious mode to show the world how weak he was. Buggy knew he wouldn’t beat the boy if he used his own car so he stole Ace’s car to add chances to him winning and to rile up Luffy. It was a win win situation.

"I thought you'd never ask."

The match was set at the road between the strawhat’s hideout and the mountain where Zoro and Luffy raced. The Strawhat crew placed a finish line sign at the end point of the decided meters of the race and Luffy and Buggy's car were already at the starting point. The whole crew knew that this race was different from the 'casual races' Luffy usually does so Franky double checked Luffy's engine and tires if they were in top shape. He was almost done with his 'last minute enhancements' for the car while Buggy was fiddling with the controls of Ace's car when Sabo called the two racers.

"Buggy, Luffy, come here." Luffy and Buggy walked towards Sabo and faced each other not once backing down from the intense eye contact they had. "Shall we make this an official race?"

"Yes." They both answered simultaneously.

"Then with Me, Marco and Law being neutral we will become the judges of the race. What will you place as your bet?" Sabo nervously looked at Luffy, although he was considered a 'neutral' person at this event because he wasn't in Luffy nor Buggy's crew, he was still Luffy's brother and he knew exactly what Luffy will place as a bet for the race. And he really wasn't sure if that was a good idea.

"Ace's car." Luffy smirked and everyone around him sighed. Sabo facepalmed himself, this was his brother after all. He knew what was in Luffy’s mind at this point.

"It isn't your car but you place it as a bet?" The clown was laughing his ass out. He couldn’t believe the unusual contract he was making with one of the craziest racers in Marie Joise city. "I bet this car too but if I win, I also want your car."

"Sure."

"WHAT, LUFFY?!" Usopp shouted and you could hear the dismay in his voice. Both he and Frank had done so much work on that car that they’ll trade their own cars for it. "WE WORKED SO HARD FOR THAT CAR?!"

"Like I'm gonna lose." Zoro was impressed with Luffy's confidence in his skills. If the boy showed a bit more of his respectable aspects Zoro might just consider him his captain and pledge his loyalty to him. The fact that Luffy fought someone because they dissed his brother was already commendable. Zoro fully understood what Luffy felt.

"With the contract done, get inside your cars!" The racers had one last look at each other then slowly walked to their cars. They got inside and made themselves comfortable in the driver’s seat when Sabo walked towards the center of the starting line with a flag in his hands.

"Start your engines!" Luffy keyed his car and riled up his engine. He needed to be serious this time, though he was always serious during a race.

"3!" Luffy breathed in trying to calm himself down and to prepare himself for his competition.

"2!"

"1!" Though the racer themselves weren’t nervous the audience outside felt the excitement.

"GO!" Sabo waved the flag and both the cars passed by so quickly that he felt his hair got messy, which it actually did.

The race started with Buggy and Luffy neither in the lead. They were in equal standing but the quick sprint would end soon and both needed to make their move immediately if they wanted to win. The clown felt his sweat dripping from his forehead to his face, he glanced at the wheel and saw the different buttons that had different commands. He knew that those were his key to winning the race but he didn't know which one he should press.

Buggy gave a quick glance at his left side and he saw Luffy grinning from ear to ear like he knew he was going to win the race. He bit his lip; he knew he had the best car in this race why was Luffy still catching up to him? A mere lemon can't compare its engines to a powered-up truck! Luffy’s crew did say that they did upgrades to his car but Ace's car also had upgrades that were greater than his and with the most advanced technologies the mechanics could touch.

In his moment of self-doubt, he didn't notice Luffy was going faster than him. He panicked and pressed a random button on the wheel. The car then had four rockets come out of its side and gave him the extra boost he needed. Buggy started laughing and thanked his great luck.

Luffy grinned as Buggy was passing him quickly. He pressed on his clutch and changed his gears to gear third and slammed his right foot to the accelerator to give him a boost to catch up. The strawhat boy was just warming up after all. The boy then flipped a switched on his stick and different gears were added to his arsenal. On the side of the fourth gear came out "Boundman", "Tankman" and "Snakeman".

It was the middle of the race and Buggy was still on the lead but Luffy was at his tail. Luffy once again changed from the third to the fourth gear and he was faster than before. He could distinctly hear Buggy laughing. The pace both racers had was consistent until they were near the finish line. When Buggy saw the finish line he changed his gears and pressed another button that gave him a nitro boost and he aligned his car in front of Luffy so he couldn't speed his way up. Luffy grinned at the challenge.

At the finish line, Chopper was waiting with half of the crew members since the other half was at the starting point but they were in a car behind the racers so they had the full view of the race themselves. They were watching the race from afar and they were feeling nervous about the outcome of the race since they saw Buggy was on the lead.

"Luffy would win, right?" Chopper asked Nami who had a blank expression on her face but her eyes were glued to the two cars.

"He will." She answered. Nami was quiet but she knew her captain would win.

Luffy looked directly at Buggy's car with a smirk on his face, he knew Buggy was looking at him at his rearview mirror. When both of them were just seconds away from the finish line, Luffy moved his stick from the fourth gear to the "Snakeman" below it. It gave his car an immense speed boost and he swerved to the right and quickly passed Buggy. He pulled his handbrake to drift in front of the clown to cross the finish line first. Everything was a blur for a moment and Buggy's jaw just dropped in surprise.

"The winner of the match is Monkey D. Luffy!" Sabo got out from his and announced the winner loud and clear. Everyone cheered and ran to Luffy to congratulate him. As everyone cheered Buggy quietly slipped away. Law saw him and told Luffy.

"The clown is running away Mugiwara-ya." He pointed at Buggy's running form.

"Buggy! Thanks for the great race! Let's race again someday!" Luffy shouted loud enough for Buggy to hear. It wasn’t the reaction they were expecting, Law thought that Luffy would run after him but he guessed that beating Buggy in a race was enough for Luffy.

As everyone was talking to Luffy, Zoro contemplated for a second, he was impressed by Luffy's way of racing. Luffy had the skills that could beat anyone and the boy was someone Zoro could actually follow and swear to him until he was the king of the roads. He cared for his crew and family too. His crew wasn't all that bad either, they were like family and Chopper and him would enjoy that type of companionship. The green-haired man had finally decided.

He walked towards Luffy and everyone became silent. Zoro held his hand in front of Luffy for a handshake. "Nice race, Captain." Luffy grinned and returned his handshake. It was a simple sentence from Zoro but the whole crew knew that he was officially a member not only because he was forced to but also because he saw how capable Luffy was.

“So, we’ve got a new family?” Chopper stood beside Zoro as they were looking at their new crew in front of them.

“Yes, we do.” Zoro ruffled Chopper’s curly hair.

This was only the beginning of their new life at Marie Joise City.

#fanfic #opbigbang #17702 words :O #first time for me aaah! I enjoyed it very much

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arcticdementor · 5 years

Link

Swedes do not toil under a Communist yoke. We are thankfully a market oriented society, and particularly in rural areas, Swedes are ruggedly individualistic and responsible citizens. But we do have an enormous welfare state with which to contend — and it poisons our nation much in the same manner that full blown communism would; if perhaps not to the same degree. Doubtlessly; it sets the stage for some rather dystopian developments, both in terms of its steady consumption of productive capabilities — but also in its toxic effects on our culture. On top of this, Sweden has accepted a considerable amount of immigrants (to put it mildly) from cultures that differ wildly from the Swedish. In this text I will take a look at the welfare state through the prism of Sweden’s current multicultural challenge.

…

Spontaneously emergent cultural change through win-win situations on the one hand, and forced associations on the other, are two radically different ways in which societies evolve. These mechanics often overlap in history. In any given situation it may be hard to untangle which has primacy.

When a welfare state offers upkeep and support to large quantities of people from cultures that differ enormously from the predominant culture, despite the wishes of the current residents, we have a clear cut case of forced association. It's a powderkeg that inevitably will get packed with resentment. People who would like nothing better than for the whole thing to blow up will inevitably start to congregate, with torches at the ready. Cultural homogeneity to some degree smooths over and props up the inherent fault lines that ripple underneath any redistributive scheme, while cultural heterogeneity rapidly exposes fissures. Why is this exactly?

…

Putnam himself appears to be no great fan of his own findings, and his study is replete with well-tempered and stringent attempts to poke holes in his own conclusions. But no, multiculturalism seems to have an unbending negative impact on civil society.

…

People who do not share language, tradition, religion, institutions and history have a harder time cooperating and finding trust. Is this not self-evident? One would have to marinate for a very long time in some potent reality denying ideological soup in order to be able to reach any other conclusion. There is no need to invoke racism as an explanation whatsoever.

…

In contemporary discourse, the US and especially New York are put forward as successful cultural and ethnic melting pots. There is a lot to that sentiment which is perfectly true. But to the degree that New York has been successful, it has not been thanks to simply mashing people together willy-nilly and then forcing them to like each other. People who came to the US had no choice but to bite the bullet and attempt to contribute with something of value. Even this did not take place without friction and conflict (often via labour unions and political shenanigans) but in the end cultural appropriation occurred and above all: assimilation to the predominant culture — not the other way around.

There were still cultural clashes, and these were solved, or at least mitigated over time, because people were not explicitly forced to interact or to contribute to each other’s upkeeps. There was definitely enclavisation and segregation, many times voluntarily so, but always coupled with ample opportunity for people to willingly and voluntarily approach one another, given time and for reasons of self-interest. At least in the long run people became adherents to one overarching American culture. Voila: peace.

With a welfare state as a punching bag between groups however, cultural divides become much harder to bridge. Large scale immigration will always be culturally demanding, even when there is access to market mechanism to bridge cultural differences. But the welfare state largely nullifies such avenues.

1. The attractive welfare state lures non-productive economical migration, deters labour-market entry for migrants who do want to contribute, and cements welfare dependency. Beyond cultural effects, we therefore must add resentment fueled by the predominant culture having no choice but to fund absolute strangers.

2. While not specifically related to the welfare state; minimum wage requirements and other protectionistic union regulations exacerbate this mechanic. In Sweden, hardly a day goes by without some enterprising tax-paying immigrant getting a deportation notice because of having “taken too few vacation days,” or having “accepted too low a salary.” Yes, migration authorities actively enforce union edicts! In the face of this, who can blame a migrant who simply decides to play it safe and remain on welfare?

3. In Sweden, the welfare state is enormous and encompasses everything; from a plethora of transfer payments, to schools (including university), and health care. There is literally no way of escaping its grasp if you wish a lead a semblance of a normal life.

When a welfare state subsidies migration we get a direct burden on existing net taxpayers, who tend to be ethnically and culturally Swedish, above and beyond the burden already imposed by native welfare-recipients and rent-seekers. The added demand for already strained welfare services from new — perceivably alien groups who perhaps have never “contributed to the system” — makes it obvious that any welfare withdrawals for people who may have tilled the soil for generations, are severely discounted. People are inclined to have an opinion in this matter, and do not necessarily deserve to be labeled racist for daring to utter it.

#jon nylander #mises institute #sweden #welfare #immigration #robert d putnam #read the whole thing

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solarianradiance · 6 years

Text

Heartsick: Loving Rage

https://skaianradiance.tumblr.com/post/174939512530/heartsick-quelling-nightmares

You are ROSE LALONDE

And you just finished your third therapy session with JOHN EGBERT, and things were pretty productive.

EB: so is... that it then?

TT: That’s it, unless you have something else you feel like sharing. Which I encourage you do, since we are still here.

EB: nah, i was actually getting a lil sleepy, glad we can do something else now.

TT: Ok, then why dont you run along and play now, the big kid toys on the playground are open~

EB: ok i’ll-

EB: ...rose...>:B

TT: Sorry, you just seemed like an eager child waiting for recess, wanting to burn off his energy in a game of tag. A lil playfulness isnt going to hurt~

EB: right, well, your eagerness to reduce me to child-like context makes me think you might want kids, or could be an assertion to your unfulfilled childhood.

TT: Using my status as psychologist, and attempting to use it on me, can be interpreted as a sort of challenge, a display for primal ugres pertaining to the desire for dominance.

TT: Is this your way of saying that you want dominate me John?~♥

EB: what?! no! i want nothing of the sort! <:B

TT: Or perhaps you want me to dominate you?~

EB: ok, enough! this is weird enough as it is and i want no part of your weird kinky fantasies!

TT: Doesn't take a psychologist to know that you love it~

John absconds tfo, likely off to reevaluate his sense of company... or at least grab a bite to eat. Which might be a good idea for you to do yourself. You haven't eaten much of anything all day, and you are gonna need some energy to digest all of these notes.

Oh boy, what a choice of words to apply to your thoughts, you really are hungry!

Either way, you got a lot of things to go through, today really was productive, so many notes to go through!

Which is what you WOULD say, or think, if you werent a liar. There really isnt much more you have garnered that you don’t already know. The therapy sessions with John haven’t yielded much thus far, but these things tend to take time.

At least he is here with you and Kanaya. Speaking of whom, you feel like visiting her afterwords... specifically after your own snack.

You head out of your office, and into your kitchen. Its a spacious place, nice and wide, ready to make a feast if it needs to, especially a state dinner meant for discussing the worlds issues and the like. Rather dull affairs usually, even if they do tickle your “woman of power” side quite a bit. Being a Goddess has its weight of duty behind it, but it also has its perks~

You don’t worry about wealth or food, and you feel rather fulfilled acting as both a literal Queen and Goddess ruling a part of the world. Your Mother would be proud were she alive today... which she technically is, both alive and proud of you.

Speaking of whom, you informed her of the situation this morning, about John’s general condition and beckoned her return as soon as possible given that the situation is rather urgent, though not dire. However, you omitted the part about his incident in the bathroom. You don’t want to build up excessive stress in their minds and risk making them hysterical.

Kanaya had the duty informing Terezi of the situation as they know each other better than you do, being Troll lends an air of intrinsic understanding that you would not be innately imbued with, that much you have come to understand studying the psychology of Trolls.

Anyways, you simply are here in the kitchen for a slice of pizza, you don’t know why, but you have been craving this pie of Italian cuisine for over a month now. Meat lovers in particular has caught your fancy, though you have been mixing things up with everything on it and veggie pizza’s.

You guess its that they remind you of home, you sort of miss those nights your Mother called in for a delivery when she didn’t cook anything for the evening... or did cook something, and it was an egregious disaster. Part of you thought she did it out of spite, but looking back, she simply enjoyed it as much as you did. In fact, you think it was one of those times when the two of you sort of put your supposed game of will’s aside and just enjoyed each others company, in your own ways.

Regardless, you have been on a pizza kick, and you need your fix for the night ahead, so you open the fridge

to find your leftover are missing and now assumed eaten by an entity other than yourself!

... ... ...

TT: ...

TT: Whatever, didn’t need it anyways.

Need is the correct term, but you really did want it. You guess John must have eaten the last of it. Oh well, its not the end of the world again, you can always just order another one, you get them basically for free. Then again, you don’t want to go through the hassle, you’re not that up for pizza again now that you think about it. Annoyed from hunger pains, you instead choose to go a much more healthy rout of crafting yourself a rather tasty salmon sandwich, with a side of cheese and a glass of grape juice.

You WOULD have some wine, but you need your wits about you for the upcoming trial in mediating this interaction between John and his romantic partners. Both have been gone from his life for a long period of time, months in fact. Breaking the news to them of their lover’s emotional decay into self-harm and outright suicide is going to be a dance of caution to say the least. You really don’t want them to turn into hysterical broads over this, like you think they might. They might just blame themselves, which is an overtly strong possibility.

You finish your meal, not as fulfilling as pizza, it lacks that mild-mannered bread crust which you dig all kinds of hella on, but salmon has its own sweet charm~

As you were consuming your middle-class gourmet, you went over your notes during your sessions with John and things are... odd. There is certainly depression going on. Deep depression, yet nothing that would compel suicide. He is sad, very sad in fact, but not outright miserable, at least from what you can glean from so far.

At least he is in your care, you wouldn’t be much of a friend had you merely left him there alone in his house... sort of like what you did over the last few years. You literally had no idea he had gotten that bad, or else you would have intervened earlier. But then again, Roxy and Terezi might not have had any idea, as John was hiding his emotions and repressing them. Seems like they’re finally coming out due to isolation in the form of deep depression. You really can’t let him be alone again anymore, or else you might get a repeat of the bathroom incident.

You feel a reasonable compulsion to share this information with your wife, Kanaya. You clean up your mess in the kitchen and go looking for her. Which isn’t a very long search, as you find her in the living on a terminal. She seems to be playing a video game of some kind

GA: NO! I Dodged It’s Grabbing Lunge And Got Away, How In The Blazing Hell Did That Fat Fucking Bastard Catch Me?!!

She seems to be having a bad time.

TT: You seem to be having a good time.

GA: I Am Having An Absolutely Lively Celebration...

TT: Do you have a minute?

GA: I Do Now. I Need A Break Anyways, For This Game Has Ben Crush My Patience For Several Half-Hours Now.

TT: What were you playing? An RPG Action game?

GA: A Gaming Title That John Discovered Recently. Supposed To Be Considered Quite The Quality Recreational Engagement From What I Understand.

TT: Seems like a lot of fun.

GA: It Is! I Am Rather Enjoying Myself.

TT: I was... being sarcastic?

GA: And I Was Being Sincere.

TT: It sounded like you were hating it with a true passion.

GA: I Was... But In A Sort Of ♠Caliginous Manner♠. I Don’t Know What It Is, But This Game’s Brutality Is Rewarding When You Overcome It’s Challenges~♠

GA: This Thing Sincerely Hates Me, But It Wants Me To Win, And So I Hate It In Return For That~♠

TT: Uh-huh... anyways, I wanted to talk to you about our guests that are going to arrive shortly

GA: Terezi And Roxy? In Relation To Johnathan I Assume.

TT: Yes, more specifically on how we are going to break the news to them directly. I am not sure as to what method we should use.

GA: Perhaps Isolating Them Would Help Us Engage In The Relaying Of Our Honestly Dour Predicament?

TT: Maybe, but as I said, I am not certain, this whole situation is tricky to even talk about with John.

GA: Well, We Don’t Have The Time To Dally On It All Evening, They As Our Guests Will Be Arriving Within The Hour.

TT: I actually expected both of them to be here sooner, I suppose they had to take care of something before coming.

GA: But More To Your Point, Maybe It’s Better If We Just Told Them Both Up Front At Once And Get It Out Of The Way.

TT: Both at once? Why? That just seems like a way to escalate the situation to an all time high, wouldnt it be better to just be more subtle and work up to it?

GA: If We Did That We Might Make Things Worse, Especially With Terezi, Who Has A Habit Of Figuring Things Out, Being A Seeress Of Mind And All.

TT: How do you think Terezi will react? I can fathom what Roxy might do, probably become distraught over news of John’s self-harm, but Terezi I don’t think I can predict given how wild she is.

GA: She... Might Be Calm And Collected About It, OR She Might Become Overly Furious Over Him Committing Such An Act.

GA: Which Is To Say That I Am Not Sure Either As To How Terezi Will React Either. I Am A Bit Worried How This Is Going To Transpire.

TT: A stern possiblity is that th-*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

TT: Sounds like our guests ar-*KR4SH*

TT: !!!

GA: !!!

TT: I do believe that our guests are indeed here... glad one of them could give us an adequate amount of time to prepare for their entry

*Terezi and Roxy enter the room, proving the Seer of Light correct in her assumption of their arrival. They dont appear overly happy at the moment.*

CG: G33T1NGS OTH3R L4LOND3. N1C3 TO SM3LL YOU 4G41N K4N4Y4!

GA: Good To “See“ You As Well, Terezi. I Hope Your Trip Was Fruitful.

CG: 1T W4SNT, 4S 1 4M ST1LL CURR3NTLY SHORT OF 4 VR1SK4...

TG: hey rosie, how you doin?

TT: Hello Roxy, I am doing fi-

CG: WH3R3S JOHN?

TT: That was brief. What? You don’t want to relax and catch up for few minutes?

CG: YOU C4LL3D M3 4W4Y FROM MY S34RCH FOR MY SCOURG3 S1ST3R, NOW 1 W4NT TO KNOW WHY. 1 4M 4SSUM1NG 1TS SOM3TH1NG S1GN1F1C4NTLY 1MPORT4NT, 4S YOU H4V3 R1SK3D MY WR4TH. 1 WOULD R4TH3R SK1P TH3 PL34S3NTR13S 4ND G3T TO TH3 PO1NT 1F YOU DONT M1ND.

TT: He’s...

TT: Actually I am not sure what he is up to at the moment.

GA: He Is Currently In His Respite Block I Believe.

CG: WH1CH R41S3S TH3 QU3ST1ON 4S TO WHY H3 1S H3R3 TO B3G1NG W1TH.

TG: ye, y isnt he at his house? you made it snd like smt srs happended

GA: As You Were Informed, Johnathan Is The Subject Of Strenuous Circumstances And Has Come Under Our Watchful Care.

TG: wat kind of issues we talkin here? like hes got a broken leg or pranked the wrong asshole and now we got a polkal debecle again, or wats the story here? TG: *political debacle

TT: No, it’s more like something along the lines of personal care. He... well, in your’s and Terezi’s absence he seemed to have become reclusive and appeared to have gotten depressed and he might have engaged in some harmful behavior.

TG: wat? laik he tried to hang himself or smthing?

TT: Um.... oh boy...ok so, “Tried” isn’t the word I would use... buuut...

TG: ...w-wait, wat the fuck r u saing rose? did he actually try to kill himself or smthing?

GA: Should We Just Tell Them?

TG: tell us what?

CG: TH4T SOM3TH1NG R34LLY B4D H4PP3N3D TO JOHN. 1F YOUR3 B31NG TH1S DODG3Y, TH4T WOULD 1MPLY TH4T 1T W4S OF TH3 D1R3 V4R13TY 4ND W3 M1GHT P4N1C, SO STOP ST4LL1NG 4ND T3LL US WH4T H4PP3ND3D!

GA: Rose, I Acknowledge That You Already Had A Plan In Place To Prepare Them But Should We Simply Tell Them Now? It Seems They Made A Number Of Assumptions They, And Are Making Things Worse.

TT: Im literally trying to tell them. But im trying to do it in a way that wont make them hysterical!

TG: tell us wat?! nuff of the third degre and tell us whats goin on with john! hes ok right?!

TT: Yes, at this moment he is fine. You shouldnt be so worried right now.

CG: BUT H3 W4SNT F1N3, OR 3LS3 YOU WOULDNT H4V3 US3D THOS3 WORDS 1N ORD3R TO D3SCR1B3 H1S CURR3NT COND1T1ON 1N R3L4T1ON TO WH3N YOU OR1G1N4LLY FOUND H1M

GA: Rose I... Think They Have A Strong Idea Of What Happended, I Do Not Think There Is Much To Be Gained In Dragging This Out.

TT: *sigh* Very well then... a week ago, we were getting worried about John and his condition as he was becoming withdrawn and his behavior was particularly odd. He wasn’t really as energetic or as lively as he once was and Kanaya and I began to notice. He wasn’t answering any of my calls or messages for a long while, so Kanaya was sent to his home to investigate if he was well... turned out he... wasnt

TG: ...and? what was wrong?

TT: Um... we arent entire sure what caused it, or if John was aware of what he did to himself. God this is harder to break than I thought.

GC: W41T... YOUR3 S4Y1NG TH4T H3 4CTU4LLY... TR13D TO OFF H1MS3LF?!

TT: ...Apparently, yes... Kanaya found him in his bathtub.

TG: back the fuck up, what do you mean by that exactly?!

GA: I Found Him In His Bathtub... There...There Was Blood Everywhere And He Was... Not Moving... I Was Afraid He Was Gon And... I Kissed Him In An Attempt To Revive Him-

TG: but you said he was alive right?! hes ok right now?!

TT: Yes, as stated, he is currently all right. Its as though it never happened. Kanaya Revived Him.

TG: so hes ok then, right now i mean?

TT: Yes, he’s fit as a fiddle. As I said, its like it never happended.

TG: ok good, terezi, they said he was in his room in this apartment, didnt they?

CG: Y34H TH3Y D1D, WH1CH M34NS H3S SOM3WH3R3 1N H3R3

TG: thanks rezi *does the rouge of voidy thing and vanishes tfo*

GA: Um... What Did Roxy Intend With That Stipulation Prior To Her Visual Diminishing?

GA: Then Why Did She Engage Her Voidy Powers?

=======

Elsewhere in the apartment, a very hysterical broad slowly opens the door to her boyfriends bedroom, and finds him watching a video with a pair of earphones, meaning the door opening went unheard. He seems rather into it, not sure why, but either way provides the broad with an opportunity to do this to the bum that she calls boyfriend.

*PILLOW SMACK*

EB: AH WHAT THE FUCK?! *windy thing*

EB: holy shit what was that?!

TG: me, thats what *un-voidy thing appearify*

EB: oh, its just you... what the hell is- *PILLOW BOPPED*

EB: ow! what the motherfucking shit roxy?!

TG: im motherfucking mad as hell at u right now, thats the motherfucking shit, john!

EB: well, hello again to you too i guess, why the fuck are you mad exactly?

TG: u kno exactly why im mad u dum adorable bastard, u cant fool me!

EB: oh... u saw it then?

TG: no! i wasnt there and shit, i just learned about it! i would have been here sooner if i knew what you did to yourself!!!

EB: ...wait, what are you talking about?

TG: u killing urself and kanaya finding you dead in the bathtub, wat the ever living shit do u think i was talking about?!

EB: ooooh, hehehe, thought you were mad about something else.

TG: wha-...what in the hell r u doin laffin about this? this is srs! REALLY serious! Seriously, why in loving fuck are you so chipper about this shit?!

EB: well its kind of hard to explain but-

*Rose, Kanaya and Terezi Appear*

TT: May I ask what you two are doing that is doing me a significant concern?

GA: I Second This Query, What Are You Doing?

EB: hey rose, kanaya...

EB: t3r3z1...

GC: JOHN...

TT: Roxy, answer me, what were you doing running off like that?

TG: to see john, duh!

TT: And why was there a commotion that was making a stir the ocean?

EG: hah!

TG: dude, srsly, i am so srs right now, y r u laughing?

EB: cuz it was funny?

TG: how could u be lafing about this shit?

EB: like i said it was funny! or at least i thought it was funny, so why wouldnt i laugh?

TG: because u killed yourself, or tried to! this isnt something u should be laughing about!

GC: 1 AGR33 W1TH 1NFORM4L L4LOND3, TH1S S1TUT4T1ON 1S NO L4UGH1NG M4TT3R. DO YOU M1ND T3LL1NG US YOUR S1D3 OF TH3 STORY FOR TH3 S4K3 OF POST3R1TY?

TG: yeah, tell us y u did it john! from your mouth, i wanna hear what u have 2 say bout wat happened.

EB: um... ok, theres really not much to say. where do you want me to start?

GC: HOW 4BOUT TO TH3 PO1NT? D1D YOU DO 1T JOHN 3GB3RT? D1D YOU 4CTU4LLY TRY TO K1LL YOURS3LF?

EB: i don’t i did?

TG: da fuks that supposed to mean? u either did it or u didnt! now which is it?!

EB: i guess i did it in my sleep then? i dont really remember how it happended if im being honest, i just sort of went to sleep one night and i woke up in the bathtub with kanaya...

GC: TH4TS 4LL YOU R3M3MB3R?

EB: thats all i remember!

GC: ...

GC: BULLSH1T! YOU H4V3 TO B3 OM1TT1NG SOM3TH1NG! NOW STOP PR3T3ND1NG TO B3 4 CR1M1N4L W1TH SOM3TH1NG TO H1D3 4ND T3LL US WH4T YOUR3 H1D1NG!

TT: Oh God, Terezi, no! Stop this line of questioning immediately! Its not good for him to be invoking emotions he doesn't feel comfortable invoking on his own!

EB: ok, this is getting a little bit uncom-

TG: would u knock it the fuck off rose? were tryin to get a grasp of the situation, we got a right to know whats going on!

EB: can you guys ju-

TT: Thats not your call to make, you aren’t his therapist, I am!

GC: L3G4LLY OR AR3 YOU JUST S4Y1NG TH4T TO L3ND YOURS3LF 4N 41R OF 4UTHORITY?

TT: Yes, legally! I’ve been having therapeutic sessions with him and helping him adjust enough to get comfortable and you two have been undoing all of that progress with your incessant questioning like an unexpected inquisition!

TG: well we didn expect him to offhimself while we were gon n shit rosie, wegot a right to know y he did it and all that jazz so we can help him!

EB: guys, seri-

TT: Yes you do have a right, but you need to wait until John is ready, any sooner and you might make him more withdrawn. That’s why we didn’t have John with us so that we could minimize stress!

GC: W3LL TH1S WHOL3 SH1TTY S1TU4T1ON 1S STR3SS1NG M3 TH3 H3LL OUT! 1 D1DNT W4NT TO COM3 JUST TO F1ND OUT MY K1SM3S1S 1S ON TH3 BR1NK OF T4K1NG H1MS3LF OUT! HOW DO YOU TH1NK W3 F33L 4BOUT TH1S?!

TT: Its not about you, Terezi, its about helping John, and your current behavior isnt helping anything at all, including your stress!

EB: guys im willing to help, it’s jus-

TG: doesn't help when we don’t know what happened to john. laik, did he do it or did he not do it?!

TT: That’s what we are trying ti figure out, Roxy, it’s just that this is going to take time, and we need to give him space so he can get adjusted and emotionally heal, and you two are making that quite difficult to do in the first place!

TG: bullshit! ur tellin me u had all week to figure out what the fuck went down and u still have-

GA: Would You Collection Of Inconsiderate Buffoons

GA: ♣SHUT THE EVER LOVING FUCK UP!!!♣

TT: <:X

TG:<:P TG:*<:O

CG: !!! >:O

EB: <:B

GA: ♣THE SINCERITY THAT IS MY PERSONAL DISBELIEF AT THE WITNESSING OF YOUR APPALLING MISTREATMENT OF YOUR QUADRANT-MATE IS MAKING ME ABSOLUTELY GOD DAMN FUCKING LIVID!!! NO WONDER HE TRIED TO HOMICIDE HIMSELF, HE HAS YOU TWO TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE LIFE ISNT WORTH LIVING TO BEGIN WITH!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU INCONCEIVABLY VEXING FUCKWIT CUNTS?!♣(♠?)

GC: 4LL R1GHT NOW SM3LL H3R3 M1SSY FUSSY F4NGS! 1 W1LL-

GA: NO! Shut! Up! Cease Your Bitching This Instant And Remain Silent Before I Literally Smack Your Shit Out Of My Hive!!!

GC: ...ok <:T

GA: You Two... You Two Are Supposed To Be His Quadrant-Mates... And Upon Learning Of His Predicament, This Is How You Treat Him? By Interrogating Him Endlessly Like He Did Something Wrong?! You Have Done Nothing But Not Even So Much As Asked Him How He Felt! You Should Be Consoling Him, Not Berating Him Like You Are Doing Now!

TG: i dont have to take this, wat do u think we’re doin? we’re tryin to help him and we’re-

TT: Actually, it seems like you two are trying to get to the bottom of things on your own terms, but from what I can tell, you two are merely panicking about it.

TG: ...

GC: ...

TG: ok... maybe we did panic a lil, and...

TG: shit i didnt this through at all did i?

EB: can i say something?

TT: Of course you may John. This situation IS literally about you.

EB: yeah, i... roxy, terezi, i don’t know what happened to me, but im being honest, i really dont know how i ended up in the tub. and since i guess you two care alot about me, you were upset over me not being open with you or something?

TT: John, its not your faul-

EB: hey! can i finish!?

TT: ...Just remember that its not your fault...go on.

EB: thanks rose. anyways... whatever is making you angry about this... its ok i think. we can just talk it out, right?

GC: ...Y34H, W3 C4N B3 R4T1ON4L 4BOUT TH1S.

TG: i just wanna kno y u didnt tell us about how you were feelin. like were u sad or some shit?

TT: AH! We can discuss all of this later, together, in a more formal setting. Otherwise, let’s just focus on relaxing. I think we should just this all emotional turmoil for when we are ready.

TG: ok! but just let me ask one serious question.

TT: If John wants to answer, then go ahead.

EB: sure rox, only under the condition u tell me y u panicked so hard that u snuck up on me to hit me with a pillow.

TG: i was... mad. thats y i rogued u.

EB: about what exactly?

TG: alot of things. things like, when i asked u to come wtih me an calliope on our tour and u said no. made me think u were mad or sad or something when rose told me bout ur... tub-nap, like i did it or something.

EB: oh... i said no because i thought you and calli wanted some space, thats all.

TG: dude! if we wanted space we would have let u know up front! i dont play that shit! i asked u to cum because we both wanted u to cum!

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3333

TG: y u laffin?

GC: OH JUST SOM3TH1NG FUNNY 1 THOUGHT 4BOUT

TG: whateves, rez. look, john, im sorry if i made you feel bad at any point over the last few yeras, but i need u to talk to me about this sort of thing, ok? im also sorry about boppin u with a pillow, that was a dick move on my part. TG:*years

EB: its roxy, dont worry about it! you were just having a panic attack-

TG: no its not, u scared the fuck outta me, and i really... REALLY dont wanna lose u! espeically not like that! i ju-

TT: I think thats enough for now. We can have a therapy session sometimes next week. For now lets just calm down and try to have a good time together, ok?

GC: HMMMM

GA: Is There Something You Wish To Add Terezi?

GC: MMMMM, NOT H3R3. JOHN, YOU 4ND 1 W1LL T4LK L4T3R

EB: oh great, alone with the swamp monster that licks everything and rarely brushes, fan freaking tastic.

GC: W3 W1LL SP34K 4S M4T3S, 4ND NOT 4S R1V4LS, YOU D1TZ.

EB: ...... uh...

TT: Ok! We are done in here. We shouldn’t even be having this honestly rather awkward conversation in John’s bedroom of all places.

TT: Why don’t we all go downstairs and watch a movie, or play a videogame or something. I’ll order us a pizza for dinner!

GA: No.

TT: ...Kanaya, we talked about this. You can’t stop me from ordering pizza, even if you wanted to. Besides we have guests, so one more night of Italian gourmet isn’t going to kill any of us.

GA: That Is Not What I Meant, But If You Wish To Get Fat, Be Guest Rose, For I Shall Love You All The Same.

TG: pfff-fff-fft, rood~

GC: H3H3H3H3333

TT: In that case, what do you mean by “No” then?

GA: No. As In, No, We Shall Not Be Engaging In Familial Bonding. Not With Me And Not With Johnathan.

EB: really? how come?

GA: Because You And I Are Going Out Together.

EB: you mean like a date?

GA: ♣An Ashen One, Yes♣

EB: those are a thing?

GA: Yes, They Are.

GC: NOT W1THOUT 4LL THR33 P4T1C1P4NTS TH3YR3 NOT!

GA: Yes, They Are, Terezi. Especially If The Auspice Feels The Need To Punish One Member.

EB:.... uuuuuuuhh, why are we going out together?

GA: Because I Don’t Think That After This Little Fiasco Of Theirs In Reacting To News Of Your Apparent Suicide, It Would Be Wise To Avoid Rewarding Them For Such Behavior. That And In Light Of What Has Transpired, I Do Not Feel Very Comfortable Without Knowing You Are All Right On My Terms.

TG: hang, u cant just make a desicion like that, i wanna spend time with john for a while! i didnt end my vacation just to let him flounder like a depressed fish by hijmself! i came here to help fix him!

GA: That Is Not What I Saw.

TG: well, john doesent haf to go if he doesent want to, so there.

EB: ...well...

TT: It... actually would be a nice way of resetting the mood. Getting a fresh start all that. And it could give us to catch up together, Roxy! I can fill you in better and what we can do.

GC: 1T WOULD M4K3 OUR PR3D1C4M3NT R4TH3R L3SS...3MB4R4SS1NG TH4N WH4T 1T 1S. YOU D1D K1ND OF P4N1C TH3R3 4 B1T, ROX.

EB: ... i guess that is kind of a good idea. i wont if you dont want me to though cuz i really don’t want to upset you again as well as placate Kanaya and stuff along with other shenanigans maybe.

TG: ... ur fukin luky that ur kewt... fine, u go out an have a good time or somthin we’ll stay here and wait 4 u 2 come home.

EB: great, i’ll c u latr gatr!

TG: 1 more thing *mmmwah*... im sorry again... i shoulndt have been a bitch in rage or wateves~♥

EB: heh... not problem rox <:d EB:*<:D

GC: *L1CKS*

EB: AH-GOD DAMMIT TEREZI YOU FUCKING GOBLIN CRETIN!

GC: YOUR3 ST11L MY N3RD, SO DONT FORG3T TH4T... S33 YA L4T3R DUMMY~♠

GA: Very Well Then, Now That You Group Of Flighty Broads Have Been Calmed, We Can Be On Our Way. Come Along Johnathan.

EB: all righty then, cya roxy! later rose! good to c u dumbass!

*John and Kanaya Absconds*

#homestuck #heartsick #john egbert #kanaya maryam #rose lalonde #writings #roxy lalonde #terezi pyrope #long post

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