#we countries are all brothers and sisters and we should make fun of each other

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision and the jury’s problem (but mostly the jury’s problem)

Ah, the Eurovision national juries. I love them so much. My love is so big that, since I started this tradition of writing a post about Eurovision, I’ve always included one paragraph to openly express my love for them and, not surprisingly, my love took the shape of FUCK YOU JURY.

So this year gave me the final push to do more research and finally give them the post they deserve, in which I will finally explain why they do more harm than good and are generally useless.

If that’s what you wanted to know, you can close the post now, thank you for your time. But if you want to know why I think the jury is useless, then allow me to expand more and properly explain myself.

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The jury has always been part of the show!

Yes, but now always with the same power.

Let’s do a bit of history: Eurovision started in the 50s, right after the end of WW2. TV was starting to grow stronger and with the birth of the EBU, they were searching for a TV program that could’ve involved and united all nations.

And so, an Italian journalist said: “Hey, here in Italy we have this sick song competition called Sanremo. We can make something similar, but every European country should send an artist.”. Marcel Bezençon, general manager of the EBU at the time, liked the idea and, after a few meetings, it was decided to make this music competition that will become Eurovision.

So yes, this is how Eurovision started. It’s because of Sanremo. It’s because of Italy. My country might do stupid shit, but we are still able to do something good once in a while.

The first edition counted 7 countries: Belgium, France, West Germany, Italy, Luxembourg, The Netherlands and Switzerland. Four of them will become the “Big Five”, because they are the ones that put more money into this competition. Other countries will slowly join in.

The jury was first introduced because, well, there was no possible way to call every single person who was watching the show. The TV was still in its infancy, let alone the global communications, so of course there was a jury. IT was the only way.

However, over time the televoting system was born and it started to improve. In 1997 five countries used it for the first time and from the year after all countries could use it. The jury was left in the back and used only under exceptional circumstances when televoting was not possible.

This lasted from 1997 to 2009. Then from 2010 it started the 50/50 system.

So yes, the jury has always been part of the show. But at first it was present because it was the only way to choose a winner, then it was pushed in the back, only to regain more power in the last 10 years.

But hey, you may ask: since Eurovision has been inspired by Sanremo, maybe this is how Sanremo voting system works too, right?

Nope. We are Italians, so we should make the most complicated voting system ever. Sanremo is currently articulated in five evenings and every evening has different juries and different ways to vote. I won’t go into too much detail because it’s bonkers, but I can tell you that:

1) There are multiple juries: the public, a jury made of 150 accredited representatives and the opinion poll jury. This one in particular is a group of people chosen by the national public broadcasting company RAI (which broadcasts Sanremo) out of a sample of habitual music users and selected according to criteria of age/geographical origin.

So no, the system is completely different and yes, this system is evolving too, because the opinion poll jury counted 1000 people last year, this year only 300 and who knows how many there will be in the future.

2) The final result is the sum of all three votes: 33% of the final voting is made of the representative’s jury, 33% of the opinion poll jury and 34% of the televoting. So even if by just one measly point, the televoting is the most important one out of the three.

Is this system perfect? No, it doesn’t work either and it’s fucking complicated. But at least it acknowledges that the public deserves to have more power than the juries. And there is also more than one jury, which at least allows a wider vision of things.

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The jury is here because it brings more variety!

Aww, how adorable.

I specifically searched for every single winning song from 1997 to 2023, thus including both the years without jury (1997-2008) and the ones with jury (2009-2023). I checked which is the musical genre of every winning song.

Do you want to know which genre won the most? Pop.

Do you want to know how many times a pop song won in the years without jury (including europop and latin-pop)? 9 times.

Do you want to know how many times a pop song won in the years with jury (including folk-pop, dance-pop and electro-pop)? 10 times.

Please, tell me more about the variety the jury brings. Can’t wait to hear it.

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The jury is here because it brings variety 2: Englishvision

Europe: a country with a shit ton of languages and we use always the same one for singing.

Do you want to know how many times we had a winning song that wasn’t in English from 1997 to 2023? 7 times and in two of them there were English parts.

The first three winners come from the years without jury (Dana International - "Diva", Ruslana - "Wild Dances", Marija Šerifović - "Molitva"). The others come from the years with jury and my god we had to fight tooth and nail to have them:

Jamala - "1944"

Salvador Sobral - "Amar Pelos Dois"

Måneskin - "Zitti e buoni"

Kalush Orchestra - "Stefania"

Those are people’s winners. Well, except for Jamala who no one wanted as a winner, because the public wanted Russia and the jury Australia. However, let’s leave it in for now: it’s a particular case I want to talk about later.

What I want to let you know is that, in order to have these winners, the public had to do a massive collective effort to give them enough points to overcome the jury - especially the last two. And if you know them, it’s because they are in the top 10 list of the public’s favorites.

But what if I tell you we could’ve had two more songs in their native languages on this list?

In 2015 the public’s favourite was Italy with Il Volo. An Italian song, genre classical music. It lost against Sweden’s pop song.

In 2023 the public’s massive favourite was, as you know, Finland. A Finnish song, genre hyperpop/industrial metal. It lost against Sweden’s pop song.

What a strange coincidence, isn’t it? Both times a song in a native language lost against an English pop song. Both times, the public’s favourite lost because the jury’s favourite won. Both times it was against Sweden.

Please, tell me again about the fairness of this system and how much variety it brings.

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The jury is here because the eastern countries all vote for their neighbors!

Just because the western countries all hate each other’s neighbours, it’s not a valid reason to blame the eastern ones for that.

Also, hey, wasn’t that a music competition? Why should we even care about which country the winning song comes from? Shouldn’t the jury think just about the music? Please tell me more about the impartiality of the jury.

Another thing: maybe it’s just me, but I supposed everyone studied math or had a basic knowledge of how many countries are in Europe. Well, I did both for you and if we divide Europe in half, we will have more o less 21 countries on the west and 26 countries on the east (I am including Australia in the west).

In my world, 26 is a bigger number than 21. So if the east slightly wins more times than the west is, well, understandable. The probability for them to win is higher, because there are more artists from those countries and so they have more chances to bring the winning song. I don’t think it’s so difficult to understand.

Maybe the reason why the western countries win less is not because “the easterns votes for their neighbours”, but because the westerns do not take the competition seriously and send shitty songs. Why Italy rarely gets a bad position? Because we care about music and we want to send something good. Why the UK fails a lot of times? Because they don’t care enough to send a good song. They are both Big Fives and they both put money on this show: the only difference is that one cares a bit more than the other. So instead of blaming the east, maybe it’s time to start bringing more decent songs.

And this “the east wins more” is even more stupider, if you look at the countries with the highest number of victories: Ireland, Sweden, the Netherlands, the UK, Luxembourg and France.

In my world, those countries are all in the west. I know we all hate each other, but knowing when our rivals are on a map would be a good start.

Do you want to know why this stupid theory exists? It’s all because of the years without jury. It’s because in the years 2001-2008 we had this series of winners:

Estonia

Latvia

Turkey

Ukraine

Greece

Finland

Serbia

Russia

Since they are all in the east, they thought these countries were all voting for each other’s. That’s it.

I don’t know how they justified Ireland winning 3 times in a row (1992-1994) in their minds but hey, maybe that’s why I’m not a member of the EBU.

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The jury doesn’t have a favourite!

Very cute.

Do you want to know which are the countries with the most victories in the years 1997-2023? Here is a very funny list:

Israel: 2 times

1998 (no jury year) with Dana International - "Diva" (public’s favourite)

2018 (jury year) with Netta - "Toy" (public’s favourite)

Denmark: 2 times

2000 (no jury year) with Olsen Brothers - "Fly On The Wings Of Love" (public’s favourite)

2013 (jury year) with Emmelie de Forest - "Only Teardrops" (public’s favourite)

Ukraine: 3 times

2004 (no jury year) with Ruslana - "Wild Dances" (public’s favourite)

2016 (jury year) with Jamala - "1944" (not public’s favourite, but highly appreciated by the public)

2022 (jury year) with Kalush Orchestra - "Stefania" (public’s favourite)

Sweden: 4 times

1999 (no jury year) with Charlotte Nilsson - "Take Me To Your Heaven" (public’s favourite)

2012 (jury year) with Loreen - "Euphoria" (public’s favourite)

2015 (jury year) with Måns Zelmerlöw - "Heroes" (jury’s favourite)

2023 (jury year) with Loreen - "Tattoo" (jury’s favourite)

I don’t know you, but I notice two victories that made the public unhappy because both times the jury’s power overcame the public’s power. How weird it happened for the same country that won three times since the 50/50 system has been introduced.

Sure, the first victory was wanted by the public, but the other two were against the public’s will. And please allow me to repeat it again because this is what upsets me the most: both times an English pop song won instead of a song in a native language with a different musical genre.

And what makes these two victories even more undeserved, is that in general the winner has always been the public’s favourite. In 27 years the public’s favourite won 23 times and two times it was a public’s appreciated artist (Jamala, Duncan Lawrence).

The only two times public’s favourite didn’t win, it was a Swedish artist with a massive push from the jury that made it impossible to defeat it.

But hey, maybe this point is a bit unfair. After all, it’s not Sweden’s fault if they learned what the jury likes and keep sending the same kind of song to get their votes. Maybe I am just jealous: I mean, my country basically invented Eurovision and yet we’re not able to exploit this show to win all the times? Gosh, we’re useless :P

The problem is not Sweden’s cleverness. The problem is that the jury always uses the same criteria, so one country has been able to recognize and exploit them. In a democratic world with a fair competition, the organizers of said competition would say: “okay, maybe we should change the criteria all the time, so no one would be able to use them and the jury will remain impartial”. But I suppose this was a too difficult choice for the EBU.

Or maybe they just own Sweden some money, who knows. I really have no idea.

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The jury is here because otherwise people’s votes would be political!

Oh, so hilarious.

This is the list of the winning entries by jury and by the public:

Until the recent years, public and jury agreeded on the winner and when the public chose a winner, it was jury’s second choice. So if the public’s votes were political back then, the jury’s votes were political as well.

Only in the last editions jury and public started to truly diverge and unless I missed something, Israel just had a catchy song, Italy’s victory had nothing political behind, Ukraine’s victory was a massive collective justifiable effort to say “fuck you” to Russia and people just like Finland’s song more. So, again, nothing political behind.

However, there are also two very interesting cases, the only ones in which the winner was a country no one chose as favorite:

2016: public’s favourite: Russia - jury’s favourite: Australia. Winner: Ukraine

2019: public’s favourite: Norway - jury’s favourite: North Macedonia. Winner: the Netherlands

Do you want to know why the jury’s favourite of 2016 is Australia? I don’t know. What I know is that Australia joined Eurovision in 2015 and it was supposed to be just a one time thing, so they were automatically qualified for the finals. But in 2016 they joined like everyone else and had to make through the semifinals and... well, it wouldn’t be nice to send back home a country that just joined. I am not saying these two things are related, but it’s a bit of a weird coincidence, isn’t it?

Do you want to know why the jury’s favourite of 2019 is North Macedonia? I don’t know. What I know is that on June 2018 the country changed its name to the Republic of North Macedonia. And, you know, it’s nice to hear it more times, just to leave an impression on people’s minds. Again: I am not saying these two things are related, but it’s a bit of a weird coincidence, isn’t it?

Okay, let’s leave the tinfoil hat theories on the side. Do you really want to know where the “the public’s vote is too political” thing comes from? It comes from Jamala winning in 2016. Because Russia has already started with their bullshit in Crimea and Jamala’s song (despite not specifically talking about that invasion) was a reminder of that situation. And so everyone blamed the public for this victory and said that “the public was influenced by the actual political situation”. All while Jamala was second favorite of both the public AND the jury. So, again, if the public was biased, the jury is biased as well.

Actually, in her case the jury is a lot more biased than the public, because the public’s favorite was Russia! So, well, who is the political one now?

The truth is that the public is made of people and of course people will be influenced by the situation in which they live. But same goes for the jury: the jury is also influenced by the current situations, both Eurovision-related and world-related. So it’s totally unfair to blame the public for having a heart and a mind and for their will to choose a song over the other - especially when they are not influenced by the world situation (like in 2016) or when they are as it happened in 2022.

And, honestly, I’d much rather prefer people choosing a winner because of a fucking war, than a bunch of people choosing their winner for reasons that will benefit them only.

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The jury is made of experts and they give their expert opinion!

Awesome. Now explain to me how can you objectively choose the best song between a pop one, a folk one, a metal one and a rock one. Tell me which universal criteria will you apply.

Voice? But each genre requires a different kind of voice. An opera singer has a powerful voice, but growl music requires a powerful voice as well - heck, it’s even more complicated than opera, so it should be more praised than that! I mean, try growling without sounding like an idiot: it’s immensely hard. How can you decide which is better in an objective way? Do you just focus on which is more difficult to perform? But then it’s unfair to the pop singers, who also have good beautiful voices. How can you objectively choose the best?

Performance? But every genre requires a specific kind of performance. You can’t put an energetic performance on a ballad or slow dancers on a rock song. If two performance are equally beautifully ftting for their music genre, how can you decide which is objectively better?

Lyrics? But not everyone knows the lyrics of all songs and some lyrics might have multiple meanings or refer to particular aspects of the country’s culture, so you might not understand how beautiful they are. How can you choice which one is better, without knowing all these details?

Overall impression of the song? That’s not even an objective criteria, try harder.

The truth is that you CANNOT choose between different songs and different genres in a universally objective way. You will always be influenced by your own preferences and musical tastes.

Do you want to know how these criteria could’ve worked? If everyone brought the same song. Then okay, you can objectively make your choice: after all, we are talking about one genre and one song. In all other cases, this criteria makes zero sense.

And before you say “the jury needs to recognize the good singers”: people have ears. If a singer is bad, people can hear it by themselves. Polish people proved very well that they can recognize a very bad singer from an extremely good one and I doubt the entire country of Poland is made of musical experts or that everyone likes dance-pop/electro-industrial music.

Same goes for all the people around the world who praised Jann and said Blanka is terrible: I doubt they are all music experts or Polish. Maybe they just have ears.

Sure, some people have better taste than others, I don’t deny that. But considering that all humans have ears and a brain, I don’t think they need someone else to tell them that yes, this thing you like is good or no, that thing you don’t like is bad. Maybe they can understand it by themselves.

And if the problem is that the public doesn’t have a taste, then give them the means to acquire said taste. Let experts give more insights about an artist: they could explain why their voices are good or bad, why their performance works or not and why the lyrics are complex or simple. Let the public take a decision, instead of treating them like toddlers who should be spoon-fed.

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The importance of the public

What makes this 2023 victory so empty, is that it has nothing Eurovision stands for. It’s not the victory of an unknown, talented artist. It’s not a victory the majority wanted. It’s not a victory that sends a good message.

It’s the victory of mainstream and safety. It’s a victory that doesn’t look forward and doesn’t try anything new, because it prefers to rely on the same old stuff. It’s a victory of nostalgia, industries and brands.

And if it hurts so much, it’s not just because the public’s will has never been so blatantly clear about who they wanted to win, but also because after two years in which we had native languages and new genres on the top, we were really, really hoping for a switch towards something different.

I don’t blame the past artists for not trying more, the years were different. But we are in the 20s of the year 2000 now. We are more open to different people, genders, sexual orientations. We don’t have to play safe anymore, not in a world that is moving forward. We can have different winners, we can have different cultures and we can have different genres.

I really hope that this year will teach something, not just to us, but to the EBU and to Europe. If things will change, good. And despite my harsh words, I am okay if the jury stays: it has always been present, after all, even when pushed in the back. So if we have to keep it, let’s keep it.

But it’s time to give them less power. It’s time for a 30/70 or a 20/80 system. 50/50 is just not acceptable anymore.

Or, as the 2023 public’s winner said:

Thank you for your time and please, keep support your winners.

(Clips from THIS video)

[muneca-lemon-steppa]

Interviews for New Beginnings: Part 4

Alfie Solomons x Fem!Reader, 3.1k words

Warnings: talking about home fire, cursing, talking about trauma

A/N: Hi everyone! This chapter is a little different. It's more about developing our characters, understanding what exactly is going on, and setting it up for later events. I'm sorry if this isn't particularly exciting, but I feel like this was necessary for the storyline I'm going down? I don't know, if you guys have thoughts lemme know! As always, I love hanging out with you all on here. It is so much fun, and it's just a reprieve and joy. And if you're finding this for the first time hello!! If you want to catch the first parts just click the tags that say Interviews for New Beginnings, and itll all be there! I promise I'm going to make a masterlist! I just don't know how to hyperlink and it's stressing me out. Anyway I'm sorry I talk so much! Love you guys! - Mo

The tailor shop was not always your family’s tailor shop. When your mother and father first immigrated to Camden, it was the one shop that agreed to hire them. Mr. Kahn was the originator, an older gentleman with large round glasses, the most illustrious beard you’ve ever seen, and the most soothing voice. When he saw the the pitiful young couple that would one day be your parents, he not only opened the doors of his shop, but his arms and his heart and his home.

Your father had been a tailor by trade in his home country, and quickly picked up the new skills and tricks that Mr. Kahn had so generously gifted. Mr. Kahn had no children himself, and his whole family had to stay in his own country as well. Like two lonely ships at sea your parents and Mr. Kahn found each other, and built a a new family. He was there for the birth of you and Eli and your brother, and there for the arrival of your grandparents. And when he passed away, he gave the shop and the home above the shop to your family, his other family. In honor of Mr. Kahn, your father and uncle kept the name Kahn’s and Sons. Though people knew you weren’t the technical Kahn Sons, everyone gave their regards to the beautiful picture of Mr. Kahn that hung in the front. His bright and shining smile and twinkling eyes kept watch over the shop, your family, and anyone who crossed the threshold. Anyone who looked at the painting smiled, remembering his gentle voice and his grand laughter.

That painting is the only thing that survives the flames.

As the sky turns a pale white, all that can be heard above the shocked voice and the rises smoke are the screams and wails of your mother, screaming and asking God why why why? Your aunt and grandmother holding her and weeping as well, praying and begging for an answer. You sister Esther on your hip keeps whispering, “What happened? What happened to our store sissy?”

And you have no answer. You have nothing in your chest but a numb buzzing, and acid in your throat. You feel hot hot tears making canyons in the ash that covers your face. You see Eli, your father, uncle, brother, grandfather, and other neighbors trying to move out any molten machines from the wreckage. When you make eye contact with Eli, he just shakes his head, tears having wiped the majority of the ash away. He looks at you as if yo say, “I don’t even know why we keep looking.”

Esther begins to cry, the smoke bothering her eyes, and you just begin to rock her and walk down the street to take her away from the wreckage. No child should have to see something so horrible as this.

People begin to stop and ask what happened. Who did this? Why Kahn’s? Why your father’s shop? You just walked past them. How would you know? How could anyone know? All you knew is that your sister was crying and coughing too hard. You just needed to get away. You just needed to get away. Just away.

On the other side of Camden, Alfie Solomons walks in to the office, after a long night of praying and bargaining for his secretary to be at her desk when he came in.

Despite his pleas, he is not surprised to see that her desk has been untouched, the stove has not been lit, and the air is too cold to breathe in. He rubs his face roughly, more for punishment than for comfort, and caresses the calendar on the abandoned desk, before tenderly picking it up and taking it to his own desk. Alfie found himself soon flipping through those wrinkled and pressed pages. Noticing the arrows and tiny scribbles on your near penmanship. As he further explores he finds himself chuckling lowly at the small characters of Tommy, Ollie, and even him and Cyril. He notes the repetition of his own name, with a small delicate heart over the i. He nearly completely smudges away the small heart with his tracings when Ollie knocks him back to Camden, “Uhm Alfie…”

“What?”

And that’s when he noticed it… the silence. There were people in the bakery, same amount as usual all doing what the need to do. But he heard… nothing. It was silent. All he could hear were the scuffing thuds of work boots against worn down floor boards, and the moaning creaks of barrels being turned over. Alfie got up from his desk, brushed passed Ollie to look at his men. But they weren’t his men. These were phantoms wearing the clothes of his men. “What the fuck is wrong with them?”

Ollie tenderly stepped behind Alfie, “Alfie… there was a fire last night…”

The blood in his heart immediately froze. His lungs shrank in his chest, and the air was suddenly sucked out of the room. “Where?” Alfie asked, though he already knew.

“Kahn’s… Alfie it’s scorched.”

Alfie couldn’t even finish listening. He had to go. He had to go. Damn the secrecy. Damn what your family knew or didn’t know. Damn what the men would think, seeing him run to see if his w… secretary was hurt. That didn’t matter. The Mad Baker be damned. “Ollie. Get the car. Grab two men from downstairs. We’re going to Kahn’s now. NOW!”

Though the drive to your home from the office was merely 20 minutes, a drive he knew well, it felt as though it took years off his life. The closer the car got, the denser the crowds of people were. The more clearly he could see the dissipating smoke and ash.

When Alfie was a young child, he struggled with fear. Thunder sent him under the covers, loud fights sent him behind his mothers skirts. The dark petrified him, necessitating two candles to defend him from nightmares. This fear followed him through childhood until he was 10, when he was assigned to give a small speech in front of his class. Poor young Alfie Solomons, so terrified of the 20 pairs of eyes that stared at him, that he threw up. He fled in tears away from the gasps and laughter, and back into the arms of his mother. There he wept profusely, embarrassed but mostly angry about how cowardly he thought of himself. His mother, hushing and consoling him, was broken-hearted at her son’s agony. Her only child. Her pride and joy. “Ahhh varóbushik. You know… it is not bad to be afraid… fear is not a sin my love.”

His eyes, ocean like in his tears looked up at his mother, “But I need to be brave. Like papa was.”

She smiled softly, “Mm yes papa was very brave. But you know… bravery isn’t the absence of fear… no it’s… it’s surviving even when you are afraid. It’s doing what you are afraid of even when you are scared. That is brave. You are brave every day my sweet Alfie.”

Alfie curled closer to his mother’s side, rocking and swaying with her as she continued to stroke his unruly hair, “Alfie, I have a trick for when I’m scared. I used it when I was leaving my home country.”

Alfie looked up, hopeful for a spell or a tool to keep him from fear, “What is it mama?”

“I let myself be afraid for 10 seconds. I count backwards from ten, and let my body feel the fear. And with every breath, and every number, and release that fear. By the time I get to 1, I am no longer afraid. I push through it. If you can manage to push through to 1 every time… I think you will find that you can do anything my darling boy.”

Alfie nodded, and resolved to always make it to 1. Even as a Captain in the war, right before the charge, as he saw the enemy approaching, he started the count. He always made it to 1, and always won.

But the counting wasn’t working now. In the car to Kahn’s and Sons Alfie couldn’t make it past 5 before his mind fled to you, wondering why hadn’t seen you in the crowd yet. Why he hadn’t heard your voice above the engine of the car yet. Why he hadn’t heard you call for him yet.

The sick in his stomach almost made its way out of his mouth when he saw what was left of Kahn’s and Sons. The emerald green wood of the front had been destroyed, leaving a festering and open wound. The windows of the above apartment had been blown out, and he could see and smell charred wall paper and clothing. Anything that could be salvaged was already, piled up in a pathetic little hill to the side. The fire department had long left, the police wouldn’t be there for another day, and the neighbors could only hold who Alfie assumed to be your family, as they wept.

“Mr. Solomons?”

Alfie turned swiftly, as if he was afraid to miss your phantom’s last moments on Earth. But you were there, solid. As solid as the ask caked to your face. He willed his arms to stay at his side, so as not to crush you in his arms, or embarrass you. Your eyes begged him to say something, to say anything. To make sense of this. The fire. His presence. Your position. But what was he to say? What role is he to play in this? Esther looked at Alfie curiously her reddened cheeks pursued together, “Are you sissy’s boss?”

A million words could’ve been dictated from the stare you gave him. They can’t know… not now. Not like this. Alfie just smiled softly at Esther, “No little bird, I’m just a neighbor. Your sister’s boss is has an office near mine. But I hear she is a very smart sister. Is that right?”

Esther giggled and nodded, proceeding to babble at Alfie, competing with him in amount of words that could fall out of the human mouth. You couldn’t help but stare at this scene. The smoke and horror seemed to wash away, and all you could see is Alfie and Esther. Esther finally smiling after a night of pain. Alfie chuckling and playing with a small child, speaking with Esther as an equal. Teaching her a clapping game and asking her questions about her favorite dolls. It felt too natural. Too sweet and real and too tangible. It felt as if it was a window to a life you could have and wanted so badly but will never have. It was too much. Your strangled inhale brings Alfie’s eyes to yours, but before he can say anything of comfort your fathers voice booms over, “Mr. Solomons! My daughters are of no concern of yours! What could you possibly take from us at this time? Have you no compassion? No human decency!”

Your father pushed between you and Alfie, a formidable blockade. Alfie mad no move, essentially chest to chest with your father, staring right into his eyes. “Shalom sir. Was checking if the rumors were true. It’s a shame.”

“It is a shame, now please leave. There is nothing more you could take from us. This city is over run with your like, killing and blowing each other up, and what about us hmm?? We take the shrapnel. We either pay your protection fees and starve with a slightly better chance at surviving the blowbacks? Or we save our money to feed our children, and still suffer the consequences of your war? Now Mr. Solomons what more can you take from us?”

It was no longer a question where you got your mouth from. Your father was old, but in his eyes you saw the anger and fire of his youth, of a man out through war. Alfie typically wouldn’t allow this, by anyone. But frankly, what little memories Alfie had of his own father, he saw in yours. And he couldn’t help but feel as though this fire was his fault. Maybe if he hadn’t fought with you yesterday, this fire wouldn’t have happened.

Alfie swallowed down any regret of the night before. The time was not for regret. The time was for solutions. And if Alfie wanted to be a part of the solution, he needed to speak to your father. As businessmen, “Mr. Abraham. I am sorry for your loss. Despite your reservations, you still live in Camden. And as a resident of Camden right? You live under Solomons protection. Now this right here? This is wrong. And I’m going to personally right, see to it that it is resolved.”

Your father began to bristle at this, “The police will do an investigation. We don’t need a gangster mucking about.”

Alfie chuckled, “You know the police won’t do a fucking thing about this. They don’t care about these sort of things they’re in everyone’s purse. Fuck, some of them are in mine.”

“I will not be indebted to another tyrant.”

Your free hand flew to your fathers shoulder, “Papa please… if you won’t allow a mitzvah… please just… just speak business with Mr. Solomons.”

Your father turned to you, “This is none of your concern! Please go to your mother immediately!”

But you stood your ground, “Mr. Solomons is offering you a solution papa! You are impeding a solution and the possibility help and a necessary alliance! And for what?! Pride?! Look at this! We have nothing! The shop is destroyed and we out home is burnt! What other solution could you possibly have?”

Your father just stared at you, mouth open, the emotions of the day washing over him. It was true. There was no other choice. And you were too old for him to be able to shield you from that reality. You clutched a shocked Esther closer to your side, “Papa… just… listen to what Mr. Solomons has to say… He is a business man. He can be reasonable, that’s what people say.”

Your father looked at you, and in that moment he saw you as you fully were. No longer that small child that sat with him until the late hours listening to him read. Not the little girl who cried about hurt birds who didn’t have a papa to take care of them. But a full woman. A whole woman with a firm mind and kind heart and strong temper. In an instant he felt the joy of watching his child, the mourning of losing his little girl, and the wonder of who you became seemingly overnight. He nodded, and turned back to Alfie, who was hiding his smile underneath an unkempt beard. Your father straightened and said, “Well Mr. Solomons. What are your proposed terms for such a partnership?”

Your father proved to be a shrewd businessman, nitpicking with Alfie over every detail in this partnership, which according to the terms would be reviewed every 6 months, with an option of either side to cancel the business relationship at those meetings. But Alfie knew he was never going to be the one to cancel it, as long as it kept him tied to you. You were the assigned scribe to the terms, which you fell easily into like walking. Mr. Solomons would provide housing to you and your family for the time it took to repair your family's home. The home was a block away from his office and home, providing easier access and protection for your family while an investigation was to take place. The investigation, Alfie insisted, would be conducted by his own men, and any policemen in his purse. Alfie insisted to your father that this was more for his own benefit than your father's, as it would solidify his position as the protector and the owner of Camden town. Your father acquiesed to Alfie's demand that the perpetrator would be dealt with in his own way, not involving the actual legal system.

Kahn's and Sons would be repaired and restocked through the use of Solomons men and contacts, which would be completed within in the next two months. Upon the finished construction, two men would be on guard of the shop during the day and night, reduced to one man upon the capture of the man who committed the act. Payment for the housing, rebuilding, and protection would be based on the services of Mr. Abraham and his family. Information obtained during client conversations, as well as tailoring and laundry services necessitated by the entirety of the Solomons Company. Services would be traded according to the going rate of Kahn and Sons prices. And upon the equitable exchange, Solomons laundry and tailoring services would then be discounted at a 45% rate. At the end of the negotiation, both men shook hands, both fighting to keep pleased looks off their faces and keep the air of solemnity and certainty and expectance.

As soon as their hands released, they nodded and gave Shalom, with your father giving directions to his own family, and Alfie barking orders to Ollie and his men. You stayed firmly planted next to Alfie, Esther being taken by your father. You looked at him quizically saying to him, "That is the most generous offer you have ever given in your life."

Alfie gruffed, "You hardly have standing to say that seeing as you only been working with me for 7 months."

"Am I still employed?"

"You better. Or else the entire office is going to shit. Ollie is moping. I can't read your handwriting. And you messed everything up in my office I can't find anything."

You smirked, "I told you, you need new glasses and your office was a pig pen. You should be thanking me profusely."

Alfie just grumbled. He would never admit that the way you spoke to him now made him feel better than he had in the past 12 hours. You allowed your fingers to brush his and the rings stacked on them, "Thank you Alfie.", you let out in a whisper, not looking at him.

He took a quick breath in at the contact, immediately craving more. But he bristled out instead, "For what?"

Your eyes remained planted at the dirt on your shoes, "For coming. For... checking in."

Alfie gently brushed his finger tips against the top of your hands, hanging by your sides, the closest he could get to holding your hands, "I had to. Now get over there, your mother keeps looking over Eli's shoulder. I'll meet you all where you'll be staying."

You nodded, cheeks and hands hot, "Yes Alfie. Shalom."

"Shalom Darling."

Tag List: @jokersqueenofchaos @hoodeddreams13 @satur9-saturnalia @autumnleaves1991-blog @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @character---obsessed @solomons-finest-rum

[rafecameronsslxt]

Not so Secret

Warnings: Regular smut and over protective Rafe

Synopsis: You suddenly take an interest in your brother's best friend, Topper Thorton which leads to not so secret sex.

Topper Thorton x Reader

Minors DNI, you will be BLOCKED.

Masterlist

A/N: No because I love Austin North in general.

Words: 1,376

Topper and Rafe are playing golf while I watch. I’d left the game thirty minutes ago because of boredom. “Do you guys like to plan to match each other or?” Topper randomly throws the question in the air and hits the golf ball. Considering Rafe is my older brother by a month, and since he decides to act tough, I make him match me. He sometimes hides from me because I like to correspond with his outfits. 

   I see Rafe roll his eyes out of the corner of my eye. Topper lingers his eyes on my body for too long. Rafe’s shirt was a bright peach, and mine had been pinker because why would I own something as colourful as his shirt was? I also had a white pleated skirt on that was shorter than expected. Which was also a hassle even to wear because Rafe decided to have a fit about me wearing it. Unlike Rafe and Sarah’s sister and brother relationship, mine was good with Rafe, most likely because I wasn’t the favorite. 

   “Yes, and Rafe loves it. Don’t you?” I throw back my head laughing, and he mumbles something incoherently, hitting the golf ball hard into the air. I walk towards Topper, throwing my hands around his neck and locking them together. “He is such a brat.” My voice is a whispered hush as Rafe looks at Topper and me too close for his liking. Topper furrows his eyebrows at me for a second. 

   I press my soft lips to Topper’s cheek after smiling at Rafe, knowing he can’t stand you seducing his friends. Not that I’ve slept with any of them, you just have to play the game right. All the while, Topper keeps his hands to himself like the gentleman he is and is a suck-up to Rafe. My voice comes out gravelly. “Why don’t you kiss my brother while you’re at it.” I pat Toppers broad shoulders and walk away to the golf cart, getting bored.

Sometimes Topper needed to learn to be his own person and not trying to be twinning with Rafe. Despite me actually looking like a duplicate of my brother.

   After what feels like an hour, they come, finally ready to leave. 

   Their both quiet. 

   I smack Rafe’s leg, knowing he “talked”  with Topper. Top is eighteen, and he doesn’t need a “friendly” conversation, especially from someone like Rafe, who has a girl every other week. I hear Rafe grumble when I switch seats to the back with Topper. Finally, Rafe begins to drive. 

   I subtly slide my hand on Topper's thigh, analyzing his features. He doesn’t acknowledge my touch, Top’s eyes staying on the back of Rafe’s head. His silence confirms it. 

   For a man like Topper, he has a good poker face, so whatever Rafe had said set him straight. My hands glide over his dick and then into Topper's pants. He shifts his body, adjusting to my hand touching his cock. Topper is hard, which I hadn’t anticipated. 

   I run my hand and fingers all over Topper’s dick, feeling every inch of him with just my hand. “Hey, top, I think we should go to the country club tomorrow,” Rafe says nonchalantly, not knowing his little sister is giving his best friend a hand job in the back seat of a very open golf cart at night time. 

   The thrill drags people into messes, which is the fun part, but if Rafe had caught us, this pleasure would diminish, ending in Topper getting a beating from Rafe. Topper concurs with Rafe, but it becomes more of a mumble mixed with a moan slipping through. 

   Rafe turns his head back towards us. My hand quickly leaves Toppers pants, and my body starts palpitating with anxiety. “Are you good?” My brother was exasperated but eyed me specifically. “Yeah, man. I’m good.”

   “Exactly, Rafe, so look at the path to our house. Don’t wreck us.” I mutter and hit the back of Rafe’s head with the hand that didn’t touch Topper's dick. “Bitch.” He rubs the back of his head, leaving me alone for the rest of the ride.

   I look to Topper with a wide grin etched on my face. But, unfortunately, I don’t get the same reaction; he seems agitated. 

   We make it safely to my house, and I watch Rafe walk inside. I press my lips to Toppers. The desire to feel him so close has been edging me all day. He pulls away. “What the fuck was that?” His face is serious like I’d done something wrong. “What? Topper, are you seriously mad at me? Never mind, I’m leaving.” I run my hands through my soft hair and get out of the golf cart. Topper's big hands wrap around my waist, pulling me back in. 

   “I’m sorry. Rafe was just being an asshole.” He whispers and starts nibbling my ear. “I can sneak you into my room.” I turn my head to look into Topper’s pretty blue eyes. He kisses me slowly, such a chaste kiss.

   I open the front door hearing the house's stillness, meaning everyone had gone to bed or was just in their rooms. I interlace Topper’s hand with mine and tiptoe up the stairs and into the hallway. 

   Topper locks my door and throws me on the bed. I laugh and put my finger over my lips. Shhh. Topper hovers his body over mine. His knee goes between my thighs, spreading my legs apart, and his plump lips come down on mine. His hands push down my skirt, throwing it onto the wooden floor somewhere. His fingers pull my silk panties to the side. Two fingers, without hesitation, instantly slip in quickly because of my cum. 

   An unwarranted pornographic moan falls from my lips. Topper's free hand flies to my mouth. “Honey, you can’t be loud.” Topper kisses me softly, his lips drifting down to my neck. He sucks on my flesh while I take my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to keep quiet as he fingers me roughly, his pace quickening by the second. 

   Topper starts making marks on my boobs, leaving rather quickly and slides his tongue down my stomach and then to my pussy. He looks up at me, his breath fanning on me. His lips wrap around my clit, and his stubble rubs against me. “Fuck- Topper.” My hips press into his face, and he chuckles, sending shivers deep into my body. His fingers curl into me, hitting my sweet spot. I cover my mouth while he flicks his tongue on my clit, and his stubble tickles me. I grab hold of his hair gently.

   “Top- fuck. I’m going to-” Moans fall like a song from my red lips. I convulse around Topper's fingers, and a euphoric feeling crosses my mind. Topper gives my pussy one last lick and comes back to face level with me. He kisses me, still remnants of myself in his mouth. 

   I feel his tip rub up and down my slit a few times. Topper must’ve taken his pants off when he was fingering me. His pre cum and mine mixed, creating lubrication in itself. Finally, he pushes halfway in and pulls out. I whine from the loss of contact. I give him a pouty face, and he slides back in, bottoming out. His balls hit against my butt with each profound thrust.

   I wrap my legs around his back. My nails scratched, making cuts into his back, but his speed didn’t slow down. At this point, my nails dug into his back, making crescent moon marks. My fingers find their way through his hair, tugging at his blonde tips. “Good?” He questions with a grunt. “Fuck yes.” I moan loudly, and his thrusts start getting sloppy. 

   My vagina tightens around Topper's cock. “God, you’re such a slut for me.” I nod yes, feeling pure bliss. My vision goes white for a second, and I see Topper smiling down at me while still pounding into me. “You squirted.” He whispers in my ear and then kisses me gently, and I feel his cum paint my insides.

   A banging starts on my door, and the knob rattles. “Did you seriously just fuck Topper!” Rafe screams pounding his fists against my door. Topper ends with a sigh of relief still inside of me. “Can you just fucking chill out, Rafe!? Yes, Topper did that thing you mentioned too.”

[four-loose-screws]

So glad to see you're enjoying engage! I love the game myself! I'm curious to see if there's any differences in Alear's character depending on their gender? Like, in English I get very different vibes from them due to the voice direction of their VAs despite them both having the same exact dialogue (I am biased to male Alear). Their model expressions also read differently, but I was wondering if there was actual text differences in the original script for Alear's different forms.

Fair warning: a basic understanding of Japanese pronouns and speaking styles will help this post make the most sense. But the general point should get across to anyone.

So a bit of context first, for those who may not be familiar with the Japanese text of the FE games since Awakening: For Robin in Awakening and Corrin in Fates, each gender has a couple of different I-pronoun options to choose from, to allow players to further customize their My Unit. Each I-pronoun variation genders Robin and Corrin's speaking style in slightly different ways. It's all very Japanese, so the options couldn't translate over in localization.

There are also conversations that are completely different in subject matter between male and female Robin/Corrin, mostly because romance was being limited to opposite-gender pairs. That's a totally different level, so generally those different conversations were translated over in localization, with the occasional exception - the only example I can immediately think of is Corrin / Rhajat being commonized to the m!Corrin version.

For Byleth, there's not much to say about how they talk. No surprise there as we all know they are mostly mute.

So considering everything I know about Robin and Corrin, I was VERY surprised to learn the answer to anon's question!

There are zero dialogue options to choose from for Alear, and not only that - both m!Alear and f!Alear speak exactly the same. The writers achieved this by choosing the most gender neutral style possible for Alear.

Alear ends all their verbs with desu/masu conjugations. Different sentence endings can have different gendered connotations in Japanese, with desu/masu being essentially the default, and formal option. Japanese people use desu/masu in pretty much all situations when they are not with family and friends. (Though laidback people will speak as little desu/masu as possible. Higher-ups can also be casual with those in a position below them. Etc. etc.)

Alear's I-pronoun is "watashi.' Like with desu/masu, you can consider this I-pronoun to be the "default" in Japanese.

And their you-pronoun for everyone else is 'anata,' again the "default."

This is not to say this is the only way the JP writers could have achieved f!Alear and m!Alear having the exact same dialogue, but it is the most straightforward route. Other pronouns like 'boku,' 'atashi,' 'ore,' etc. would have implied different connotations when one Alear used them over the other. And there are further options, but the deeper you go into the list of JP I-pronouns, the more specific in usage they get - like 'atai' or 'ora' implies characters are "country bumpkins" like Jean, Donnel, or Mozu. (This is because those pronouns are from different regional dialects in Japan.)

Of course, there are not zero differences in the text of m!Alear vs. f!Alear's conversations. But the differences are just limited to he/she, Veyle calling them Big Brother vs. Big Sister, and anything in that vein. That's it.

P.S. - For a fun fact on the voice direction between m!Alear and f!Alear's voices in JP: f!Alear speaks a little bit faster than m!Alear! This video of f!Alear's Ring Supports is 1 h 37 mins long, but this video of m!Alear's Ring Supports is 1 h 40 mins long.

[lsleofthelost]

What are your honest thoughts on the book kids? Both vk and ak?

i’m gonna be so honest with you it’s been a while since i reread the books. (what’s kinda adjacent is that i wish the books, the movies and the animated stuff was more cohesive with each other but i understand that they never planned on it being such a big franchise)

let me cut it here bc it got so long, i was very into it

i most vividly remember the first one, the prequel, and i dont think we see any kids that aren't in the movies, other than mentions. though i think Audrey in it is great, like her brittle handle on being the Perfect Auradon Princess and her huge desire to just sweep all unseemly things under the rug and like almost forceful insistence that everything is fine and great and all that exists is the softness and beauty in Auradon, down to her ignoring animals that aren't cute, ones that dont coo and cuddle. but when Ben pushes her she's intense and angry and almost scary.

the second book, return to the isle of the lost, introduces fun vks and mainly just name drops some aks:

i really like Mad Maddy, i like the thought that she and Mal were besties as kids, as close as sisters, twins even. and the fact that something happened between them that made Mal dye her hair, which she still does all these years later. i also think it's fun that her and Evie immediately dislike each other upon meeting. and i like that she's never 'redeemed', she's bitter and angry and scheming. and not bitter like Uma is, who wants more and better for herself and others, but deep in 'evil over everything' bitter, she leans into it and wants worse for everyone else.

Anthony Tremaine is so cunty. like i know we never get a visual of him but i know he was serving. he was comitted to his noble aesthetic and his bored drawl. i also liked that in the books there were a lot of cousins, i think it could be fun to have like a gang of them with maybe other nobles from their country (though obvi they wouldn't refer to themselves as a gang, they're too self-important and 'above it all'). i don't remember him doing anything super important other than supporting Maddy, which makes me think he's like a passive guy re: Isle situation, just choosing whatever he thinks is going to benefit him (and by extension, Tremaines) the most. in my fics, he and the Tremaines usually are adjacent Mal's gang through Dizzy's connection to Evie, just as like gratitude for watching out for her.

Ginny Gothel is great too, i don't know why i don't use her more, i really should. she was kinda friendly with Mal in the first book, not like they run together but more like they don't really have anything against each other and in social situations they talk and drink together. i love that she stole stuff from Maleficent's apartment it's fun. she very much gives me narcissit's daughter, who internilises it all and tries to imitate her mother. i think she would probably be very competetive, especially with Evie (overall, i think they have a potential for an interesting dynamic... a lot can be said but i don't wanna get too sidetracked, send me an ask if it's interesting to u)

Yzla doesn't do much except attend the Anti-Heroes club which i took as a green light to pretty much create my oc. i still think it's kinda dumb for Yzma to have a kid but eh whatever. i think Yzma wouldn't be a stereotypically bad mother, i think she's more like neglectful in a bad mood and "my kid and i are friends, im cool" in a good mood. anyway, when i do Yzla, they're nonbinary and androgynous, and a little manic, really smart, good at engineering and chemistry, so usually i make them a part of the gang and Carlos's assistant.

genuinely don't care for Hadie. like, i think the name is stupid, i think that he's Mal's half brother is stupid (since they never do anything about it), but i think there's potential to this character.

Diego de Vil is my babygirl. i have like a whole character inside my head for him because i think the potential of Carlos having a cool older cousin is just so great. if you go to my bad apples tag, you'll see more, but i created a whole band for him (and a twin!). he has a devil may care attitude and cares for Carlos but doesn't know how to express it at all.

now for the ones i don't have much to say about: Claudine Frollo has so so much potential and i've read really cool fics with her and the religious trauma she would obviously have. Harry and Jace should probably have a cool dynamic with Carlos, what with being forced to work for the de Vil family but i honestly forget they exist a lot of the time. Big Murph is friendly and helpful that is all i have to say about him (but it's interesting that he doesn't follow Uma). Eddie Balthazar and Hermie Bing just seem like they're there to fill spaces, but i'd love if someone fleshed them out. Gaston twins, i've seen good characterisation of them as following their father's footsteps and i think they are like if himbos were evil.

for the AKs of this book:

Pin, eh, not much to say except the name's dumb. Artie is a baby, but seems hot-headed in that heroic way. Herkie (again, dumb name) should have beef with Mal. Gordon is a little jealous, but i think he opens up a possibility of like messy family drama between the kids of the dwarves lol. i don't even wanna discuss Tiger Peony because i wish they didn't touch the indigenous characters because of the implications it has in-universe and they didn't do much with her anyway.

okay, now onto the rise of the isle of the lost:

whew, i love that this is focused on uma. i know i personally don't talk about her a lot since i'm mostly absorbed with the rotten four, but i love her and the pirates dearly.

(re: the Hook sisters, i don't have strong opinions on them, just thathc that's canon to me, they're all from different mothers)

Jonas is one of the people who has a confirmed appearence and the same actor was in the rotten to the core sequence, so i choose to believe it's the same guy. in my head, he used to be a vendor at the market, bored and tired of having to protect his stand, which is why he eagerly joins Uma.

i don't remember much of the personalities of other crew members, if they were given any, but i've read great Uma-centric stuff that fleshed them out greatly and really made me care about them.

for the aks, this is the first time we meet Lonnie's older brother. i don't wanna even type out the hate crime of a name they gave him. but overall, i think it's funny that Lonnie's a little sister, explains why she want to rebel and is always in everyone's business lol. for him personally, afaik he's not that much older than the main cast and i think the fact that him and Jay are friends so fun.

for Arabella, it's never revealed who her parents are but if we base it on the live action, i'd say her mum is Perla, she's said to be charismatic and diplomatic, her kingdom values the arts, which are qualities i think we can see in Arabella. i think it has interesting implications that she can go between land and sea as she wishes, especially if we take into account that magic is practically forbidden. is she an exception? also this is the second time an ak causes a uhhh hardship? in their desperation. Jane in d1, to change herself to fit into the judgemental social world of Auradon nobility, and Arabella here to prove that she's capabel of leading. she's said to be obsessed with Evie's style and overall a huge fashion lover, which i think probably makes people call her vapid, vain, ditzy, etc and why she wants to prove herself so badly. honestly, i don't see her a lot and i don't think i've ever written her into any of my fics but she offers a good window into what it's like to be a royal.

i thiiink this is also where Aziz is mentioned again? but genuinely all i take for him from canon is just his name. i love him and Jordan (Laila's version): they're practically siblings, they're a little too carefree, Aziz is leading the sassy man apocalypse and Jordan takes every opportunity to humble him (lovingly), they're kind of party animals though media just calls them socialites lol

ok im gonna be real with you, i never read escape from the isle of the lost so i think that's all, i hope i didn't miss anyone!

[marune2]

Fem twin Faust and yami wo is a dude

Summary

Yes yami don’t know how he became best friends whit tow girl’s even twins and now learn yami time to time what going on whit woman

Platonic female male friend ship/sibling dynamics

—————————————————————————-

First we’re Nacht

Nacht is the most Not woman but woman in the same time

Yami though Nacht were a dude the first time but learn fast Nacht is a woman after Nacht got’s her first period in one of there run and of curse don’t tell Adel or people here in this country what Periode is to younger girl’s or woman to say at least it’s whas no fun for Nacht and yami he needs to tell Nacht what period is geat he is not made for it he needed alc after this

Then we’re Morgan Nacht’s twin sister she is nice she take him how he is like Nacht but she have something warm on her she reminds him of he’s little sister she talk’s sometimes over romance what is not he’s be true Morgan did understand it fast but talk anyway over it sometimes ok just if somebody else is around

Then came a talk over there pus€y be true he toutsh woman have just one hole there but then came up they have tow there one to pee and one to give birth this whas mine blowing as a dude like what? Thank you Nacht for the info he will never forget this

Nacht and Morgan are like sister’s too him be true he like’s them very mush but not more at this

Nacht:Jo Yami got’s hit pretty hart

Yami:shut up Emo what got’s you up you ass again wear’s even now you Emo clothes

Nacht:fuc€ you at least I don’t looking like shi€

Morgan:now now your tow stop it now yami we have a mission „laughing she nervously

Yami:get it Morgan see ya Emo don’t do something stupid

Nacht:fuc€ you

After all this whas just a normal day and people get it all wrong this he have something whit the twins julius did ask him too wo he said they just like sisters to him nothing more wo julius just smile at him and whas happy this he made friendship whit them

Nacht don’t care if Yami have no clothes on or if she don’t they trust each other and in yami’s opinion it’s not this special he did see as a child woman whit out clothes of he’s home country for him at least he know other getting hart on it sure it’s more the reaction of a woman what’s more fun if they are embarrassed for him this is why he is piping often over woman

Morgan like to make Tee Party’s whit him as long good tee is there whit food he is in and they talk a lot there like over fighting Nacht the magic knight julius and other stuff

Yami became really fast protective over the twins he know they are strong but sometimes are there respect less people just because they are woman or Nacht is a problem child so he take care of it regardless what the twins say he do what very big brother should do

[fumblingmusings]

While I do see the appeal of usuk, I can't really see it. There's a generational resentment from the USA, there's a inferiority/superiority view from england. Idk, looks strange. I have siblings, that's how we behave with each other. But it's cool, just think the special relationship is mostly based on power and convenience nothing else.

Historically rusame doesn't work. I mean yeah, friends at first but then ideologies wreck it. How do you see those two? Historically I do enjoy my porteng and frain but for america it makes sense Canada or alone. I feel there's a quite lack of compromise in USA part. They want to take and their freedom is more important than any sort of relationship.

Woah woah woah I think you sent me like five ship asks in a row so let me just go through them one by one if that's okay! I'll do the France x Spain headcanons in its own ask but here let me run through some ship talk. As I should not need to clarify - I have my preferences certainly, and there are some ships which I cannot stand for one reason or another, but I have never been fussed about trying to un-justify why a pairing wouldn't work. Justify why it would certainly yes yes, but I am not your mother or any figure of authority and I am a big fan of the tag filter and block button, I encourage it with me if it keeps your dash hot take free. Crack ships, historical ships, human aus... whatever floats people's boats! Personally I am a big fan of unhealthy relationships that claw their way into functioning, so that will inform my understanding of the characters. That ain't for everyone.

So!

There's a generational resentment from the USA, there's a inferiority/superiority view from england

That's what makes it great :D

But it's cool, just think the special relationship is mostly based on power and convenience nothing else.

Again, that's kind of the point for me - how do you reconcile two people who are in a metaphorical open marriage of convenience with the fact that maybe they have genuine feelings which are distinct from any political role they play, knowing that they themselves aren't political players. They can potentially have a history that runs directly contradictory the the popular narrative of international relations: what does that look like? I think a lot of people employ that dynamic within Hetalia ships - personally I use it with US UK the most, but they're all party to it.

I have siblings, that's how we behave with each other.

That's cool and I can understand that angle! I have a brother and sister too and we get on like so painfully normally fine, so I always am a bit ???? when it comes to depictions of dysfunctional siblings in media. And that's the crux of it. Of course I see them as fraternal at times. It's really down to the story that the author - Hima or otherwise - wants to tell. The characters are immortal spirits. Tell interesting stories with them, the dynamics are intentionally left vague because it's fun to fill the gaps!

Historically rus ame doesn't work. I mean yeah, friends at first but then ideologies wreck it. How do you see those two?

I think it works in the 19th Century because Russia was often quite friendly with the US, particularly during the Civil War, but only in regards to the Russian Empire A) Liking 'strong' centralised government over federalisation B) It is a land based Empire who does not want a precedent set for splinter sections of the country declaring independence C) Russia hates Britain. America for much of the 19th Century is a bulwark against Britain (and by extension Canada). It was never a particularly important or course changing relationship outside of Alaska, but I can see historic cause for saying you could make something up. A lull of near nothing between WWI and WWII of course. After that it's the tension of MAD etc...

Personally. I am not a fan. Not a huge fan of Ivan in general so... I skip it. But yeah, once Alfred supplants Arthur as the 'real' enemy, any chance of happiness fades. Unless you aren't bothered about something as trivial as happiness in a ship and enjoy carnage. Not for me personally but!!

Historically I do enjoy my port eng and fra in but for america it makes sense Canada or alone. I feel there's a quite lack of compromise in USA part. They want to take and their freedom is more important than any sort of relationship.

Again I am not a fan of Canada and America... genuinely I think it's cause they are just too visually similar (for some I hear that's a perk...). But with every America ship you're gonna have fucked power dynamics. Doesn't matter who it's with. The eb and flow of influence will shift and depend on the other party certainly - some may be more openly defiant only to get shot down in flames, others may choose to try and be subtle only to find that Alfred doesn't do subtle. That's the fun in his ships I find. Can you have him in a romantic relationship where the scales tipped in his favour make everyday life just so utterly dysfunctional it's not worth the trouble?

[vileintcnt]

okay so just a quickie but here are some plots I’m looking for atm :

1. okay kudos because I saw it on my dash but also because I really wanna read the book that has the same connotations, but give my new ice skating muse a hockey player to rival her and constantly rub her the wrong way and always challenge her and tease her for being virginal, she doesn’t have a name yet but the plot is THERE

2. yelling and screaming still for a plot where two of my frat boys, with your choice of harrison, fitz, tobias and connor, play a game of dares with one of your naive girls, totally unaware they’re basically rigging the game to see how far she’ll go with them, lots of ‘oh well if you’re not brave enough to do it then whatever we don’t have to play, we have shit to do anyways’ and her desperate to be liked by them is just adamant on playing the game

3. give me your subby, hot anxious boys for brandy to just wreck, milf threads are very fun so

4. looking for vampire threads and categorically willing to make muses for it !

5. ok so my muse for this isn’t THAT high because I kind of think I’ll suck at writing it but I want Valentina hazing sorority sisters by putting them through humiliating and degrading sexual situations, this could be coupled with Fitz or Lottie for extra fun

6. OKAY GIVE THE BUFFET FAMILY SOME LOVE, Ted wants young girls to release tension on lmao, Wade wants hot dominant girls to absolutely walk all over this silly lil country boy, and Barbie wants hot city slickers to go mechanical bull riding with

7. I want Puck to be watching a movie with a close friend and then suddenly the film turns raunchy and they’re both turned on and it’s kind of awkward because pucks boner is like sunlight blocking and they both decide that maybe they should just like, rub one out you know? and then oops sorry I didn’t mean to touch you but wait I kind of liked it fuck are we doing this? ?? give my metal head a fuck buddy PLEASE

8. Peaches & Martina want rockstars to fuck them, thanks!

9. give my silly airhead country girl candy priests who find her devotion to church advantageous for…reasons 👀 give her pageant judges who find her devotion to winning advantageous, also for…reasons 👀 give me best friends pervy dads using her panties to jack off and her totally aware he’s watching her so she puts on a special show for him idk just semi fucked things for her pls

10. give brooke massage clients who are progressively falling in love with her and keep coming back because they’re working up the courage to ask her on a date 😫 give simone a high profile actor/musician who sees her at a party that her and cher got into by sheer luck and immediately he’s smitten, give cher best friends that are joking around and then accidentally fucking and give me the awkward tension of it all, give cat a new hot roommate that she’s desperate to have sex with and talks to her girlies about him all the time and she’s always trying to catch his attention by wearing short skirts and shit but he’s actually a really shy inexperienced guy who just looks like a sexy fuckboy and everytime he sees her trying to turn him on he just doesn’t know what to do, give Lola an older brothers best friend plot where he’s ridiculed her their entire life and they always act like they don’t like each other but all of a sudden they’re alone together and why is the sexual tension so crazy rn??? Idk just GIVE MY CITY GORLS LOVE

[dzpenumbra]

9/1/22

How fucked it is that you can advertise psych meds via targeted ads to people with mental health problems (so like, literally everyone) directly on their phones, cued by listening for keywords, most of the time without their knowledge. Meds that those people can't even legally purchase themselves. Like... how is this legal? I mean, let me be real about this, this isn't legal in like... most other countries in the world. So... why are we cool with this? Like, if you wanna go "we have a right to make money" or whatever, to a certain degree I get that... but where are we drawing the line? Advertising booze to alcoholics? On their phones? Because they're watching YouTube videos? Maybe even videos about quitting?

We have been in an anxiety and depression crisis as a country for nigh over a decade. I mean, that's as long as it's been known by the general public. We know very well this is a problem and have known for quite some time. Yet... we don't just allow the targeting of the traumatized as a focused demographic, we defend it. I'm sorry, I'm not cool with that. I'm not cut out to be a politician, I'm way too anxious, I've been socially deprived for way too long to have that many eyes on me comfortably. I don't want to participate in acts of expressive aggression as a way of instigating change. Violence makes me lose hope in the world. And Anger begets anger. I don't want to be a soldier or a revolutionary. We have enough people who would love to play that role, if one is needed. I am simply a survivor, who is concerned about how we treat each other. How lowly we can look at our fellow man. Our biological equals. Our brothers and sisters. And see them in profound, psyche-shattering pain. Grief, sadness, fear, shame. And not see them as someone we should be comforting and healing, but rather as a flock of sheep they can now regularly shear. A money tree, if you will.

I use phrases that I think sound fancy sometimes to sound a bit more profound, to try to stress a point. Like... if you will. It makes me sound deeeeep, right? XD I do it because I get a fun chuckle out of it. It happens a bit when my spiritual, intellectual side comes out to play. He hasn't really been around much since my panic/survival self grabbed the steering wheel.

It's crazy how multifaceted one personality can be, and how little people really want to look at what our own psyche really is. It's so fucking weird! Like, why would you NOT want to learn more about not just who you are, but what you are?! Like... think of it this way... I've used this analogy successfully before. Think back to you as a kid, whatever memory you can go into your own head like a GoPro cam with and remember what it was like to... experience that time, to make decisions within that time, to be in the present Now in that time. That is still you. That kid (for me, there's one around 6 years old, and definitely a few around the tween years) is still you.

You could imitate those thought patterns, that perspective, speak the way you used to, act the way you used to, to summon that personality to the surface. Easily! I do it when I go and look for stones in a river. I climb barefoot all over the rocks and squat on the beach digging through pebbles looking for pretty ones. I've done that exactly the same way since I was a kid. I can bring him to the surface when I need him around, with the right prompts. I think some of us are much more adept at it, or at least intentional with it, which can make them much more skilled at reacting to situations. I imagine some people kinda have a baseball team on a bench in their head, they can just call the right personality out whenever, tons of options. I have quite a few, I guess I just haven't really been paying much attention to who's been grabbing the steering wheel lately. It feels a lot like Fear. Tends to take over when I'm in survival-mode, which I absolutely have been the past few days.

But we really struggle to like... accept that we can be more than one person at a time. As a sorta... compound person? I don't know, I wanted to say fractal or something, but like... multiple sub-people within a persona, which chooses which sub-person gets filtered through. I guess spirits within a soul, maybe? And if you go around talking about being more than one person, then people really like to assume you're just mistaken, sick or confused. Like they've ever even entertained the thought! Sigh... <and facepalm>.

It's hard to relate to people about the psyche and what can happen to it when things go wrong. We all just want to compete, it feels like. We like to believe everything we know right now is real, is truth. We don't want to be wrong. But the only truth is that the truth is always changing, because Life does not stop, it keeps changing and growing. We keep learning in it's wake, in this tantalizing game of chase that we will never win. No matter how cocky we get. No matter how smart we get. No matter what fancy gadgets we invent to try to do it for us. The more we look, not only do we see more, but we create more. The more we push to learn, the more possibilities we create. We will never know everything, we will never even come close. So why the fuck does Rick at the Corner Store think he knows everything there is to know about the world? The ones who think they've got it all figured out? Do yourself a favor, watch out for those ones.

I'm in a mood tonight, I guess. Weird place in my life, weird place psychologically, as I sorta transition between two new visions of where I'm leading my life. I had a pretty clear image of what my life was going to look like in the future, a goal. A cabin in the woods not too far from civilization. I had internet there, I was streaming, doing art/music/writing/crafts/acting full-time. I had a partner, we played video games and watched movies together in our free time, and a lot of Twitch and YouTube. We'd go out in nature a LOT. I'd teach her to skateboard and snowskate, and we'd go on skate trips together. She'd probably think my cat was weird and struggle to approach her because she's getting old, but they'd get to know each other and then one day she'd lay on top of her at night instead of me and I'd be really sad, but also unbelievably happy. Maybe we'd think about kids, but not right away. Maybe she has a kid already, I don't know, I never really got to figure out where I am with that. Didn't really feel like it was at the top of anyone's conversation list with me. My life would be keeping a standard of homestead that both of us approved of. Maintain the home repairs, keep it in a condition we both agreed upon, tend to the animals, cook (or share cooking, if wanted), do laundry, put the groceries away, and to plan recreational activities and adventures. Game nights, outings, stuff like that. All the while working on whatever creative/entertainment venture inspired me. A new game playthrough with a roleplay story element to put on YouTube as a series. A series of nature illustrations. A poetry chap-book (fuck yeah I learned that word). A D&D campaign to stream. Mandalas. Grip tape art. Locally sourced natural material jewelry. You know, weird artsy shit. It would be a very busy life. Adding in kids would just make it nuts, but I'd do my very best to keep that managed, freeing my partner to pursue their passions, and not blockading them from participating in those home management activities as well. Does it sound like a clear vision of what kind of life and person I want to be? Does it sound like I want that life? Like I'd be happy in that life?

Here's the life I've resigned that one for. Fleeing to a tiny city in a panic, getting a job at some store (hopefully a gaming shop or like a weird old bookstore or something? Maybe an antique shop or a curiosity shop or something if they have one), living in an apartment that I likely won't be able to pay for myself on just that one job, so I likely will have to do a second job part-time as well, or I will still have to depend on my Mom for money. Most of my time will be spent working, cooking and cleaning, honestly. I may get a few hours in between to choose between more work with art or music practice, so I don't get rusty. Or I could use that time gaming. Or watching a stream. Or watching a show/movie/YouTube video/podcast. Or writing. But probably just one of those.

So let's really ask this. We're promised Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, right? Those are our unalienable rights, yeah? Life? I guess maybe we were just sorta saying "you get to be alive here." Not "we'll try to get you as close as we can to where you will be most harmonious, where you fit the best." Liberty? The ability to pursue that life? To be honest, I'm not quite sure I have the means to achieve that life short of a small miracle right now. Not in a way where I wouldn't be paying a crippling price, like several hour fights at least once a week. Pursuit of Happiness? Well, I guess you're always welcome to attempt to pursue happiness. I want to glaze over this one as a sorta "duh" considering the implications of the last two, but I guess it kinda needs to be said or else people will try to blockade it.

We really are shitty creatures, aren't we?

Oh well, hopefully we can just start being a bit nicer to each other and we might be able to get back into hopeful times. Harmonious times, where we're optimistic about what's around the corner, rather than flinching every time something moves. I know it's not just me doing that, but we've all developed a lot of coping mechanisms over the past couple years to keep them pretty hidden now, even from ourselves. I see them clear as day now, for the most part, and it just makes me more upset. I see so much potential in people, as individuals and what we're capable of accomplishing when we combine forces. But so many people are just in it for their own experience. They video a concert with their phone to show off to their friends later and brag, meanwhile ruining the Now experience for them and people around them. They leave trash on the ground at the swim spot by the trails I walk, and I bring their trash 100 feet up to the trailhead and throw it out for them. They just want the best life experience - the most optimized, Google recommended, 5-star reviewed, 2000x liked and retweeted experience they can get. They will cut any corners they can find to get it. They will pay a premium for it and call it the deal of a century. Are they concerned about the experience of the person 5 feet from them? Oh... suuuure... If it somehow ties back to your experience... Looking at them from your eyes, how they affect you, how they appear, how they act. Not, like... looking at life through their eyes.

How the fuck did we get from social media being the greatest opportunity to see what it's like to live in someone else's shoes, to the world's biggest popularity contest in history? Welp, corporations saw some money to be made and got their fingers in the pie and made it a game. And, of course, it's apparently a lot easier to win that game if you lie. At least a lot of people seem to think that. Now, maybe it's just whether you fit in/conform? I don't know, I've been pretty removed from social media lately, to be honest. It seems like... people are ultimately just trying to connect, but they're connecting over the wrong damn emotions. Like we want powerful interactions with eachother, intensely emotional engagements that seem like... attempts to interact. Imagine if they were attempts to bond rather than attempts to lash out, or outrage, or make an impact through inconvenience. It's hard to conceptualize that in a world rife with so much conflict, but if people somehow found a way within themselves to mutually seek bonds more often, the world would just be a much better place. Yeeeahhhh, peace and love, man! I use Nag Champa soap, okay, don't judge me! It's been a while since I did a tree-hugging post, it's nice to reconnect with this feeling.

Maybe if we, as an average, had a better relationship with emotions like love and compassion, we'd be less incline to go around picking fights with people over having different opinions. Or accusing them of nasty intentions, in a bid to paint our deepest fears on them and finally get a chance to interact with them. Maybe, just maybe, we'd think a bit more about how our actions affect others. Because we can relate to what it's like to experience the impacts and repercussions of that. Maybe we would keep our focus on what's best for all parties, and for the greater whole, and all the wholes greater than that, rather than keep our focus on just ourselves. Maybe we'd start to become better people.

How to make that transition? From focusing on "I" to focusing on "We"? Practice. But I'll tell ya, it's really goddamn hard to focus on "We" when you're really hungry, or when you haven't slept a full night in a week, or when you're overstressed from being overworked and underappreciated, or when you're worn from reliving painful memories and the frenetic energy of children, or when you've lost so much hope that all you want is to disappear into a fantasy world where your actions actually matter. But we have to keep trying. We all have to keep trying. Because we're all in this together. Even if we're not all in this together. It makes me really sad to say that, but it's also a little clever and it made me chuckle. :)

This was an intense one, but I guess I had a lot of this inside me that I needed to get out and I never really made a place to do that. Not anytime recently. This is that place for me, for now at least. Thanks for reading this. This is what my brain looks like, every fucking day, all day. Just sometimes it's not this dressed up, and this monologue is often companioned with images.

Maybe I could do the ultimate art project some day. Capture a section of my actual thoughts, just like this, as authentically as possible... and also try to capture the fleeting reference images too. Then write it all down, and draw the companion images - the mental images. Hell, I could even do a recording of it and make it a video, fuck, imagine this in VR?! It would be the closest I could get to putting another person inside my head, inside my experience of this weird, crazy, what-the-fuck-actually-is-it-experience that we call Life. The closest I could get to someone really understanding who I am, and seeing me, relating to me, bonding with me, caring about me, connecting with me. Real connection. And isn't that... what we all want?

Maybe not, maybe it's just me.

[weddingplanners01]

UNIQUE WEDDING CEREMONY FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF INDIA

Weddings hold so much importance in India. It’s not about people meeting but the commitment of being together forever with each other no matter what. Weddings are great celebrations and denotation of solemnization of the coming together of two people.

India is a diverse country and so are our wedding rituals. Just like the language, our rituals change with different parts of the country. And all of them hold some importance and blessings. It is such a delight to be a part of these rituals as they are the sign of piousness and purity of a relationship.

Here we have some of the wedding rituals from different parts of the country and what they stand for. Each one of them is unique and holds a different meaning.Aiburo Bhaat-West Bengal

Also known as the traditional bachelor party in Bengal, it is the last means to wed-to-be eat before marriage. It is served to both the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be.

The meal is actually an authentic Bengali meal that has specially made fish with Bhaat(rice).

Accompanied by the elders singing wedding folk songs and dancing creates a happy and loving surrounding, giving the blessing to the bride and groom.

Ganesh Maatli/ Ganesha Sthapan-Gujrat

Throughout India, it is believed that any Shubh(auspicious) thing should be started with the worship and blessing of lord Ganesh and that is what Shree Ganesh is called.

Following the same path in Gujra Ganesh Maatl/ Ganesha Sthapant stands for welcoming and worshiping lord Ganesh before starting the marriage rituals. With that, they ask for a happy beginning and protect the upcoming joy from anything bad.

Kashi Yatra-Andhra Pradesh

Okay, so this one is pretty fun. Kashi Yatra means visiting Kashi means a lot in Andhra Pradesh. So in this ritual, the groom on the wedding day pretends and teases the bride side that he will leave everything and go to Kashi to worship lord shiva and leave worldly pleasure.

To stop him the bride’s brother convinced him to stop and marry his sister. It is actually a fun ritual and involves lots of jokes.

Saptapadi Ritual-Maharashtrian

Saptapadi Ritual is a Maharashtrian wedding ritual that is done while taking the seven rounds with fire in the center(Saat Pheras). In this ritual, before the pheras, the bride places her right foot on top of seven betel nuts which are decorated on top of the small mold of rice.

After the seventh round is completed the bride places her foot on the grindstone and the groom holds her hand symbolizing that no matter what the groom will support her in her tough times and the bride to be strong throughout their companionship.

Dwar Chakai-Marwari

Dwar Chakai is a Marwari ritual in which when the baarat finally comes to the wedding venue the groom hits the well-decorated entrance with a neem stick. The rituals symbolized the neem stick as an auspicious plant that will keep the wedding and mandap from any kind of negativity.

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It is a kind of fun ceremony as the bride side tries hard to make it difficult for the groom and once the groom is done the mother of the bride pulls the groom’s nose and puts a tilak on his head to welcome home for the wedding.

Kangnabandhana and Kanyadaan-Bihar & East UP

Kangnabandhana and Kanyadaan is a wedding in Bihar and east Uttar Pradesh where the priest ties make a bracelet of cotton thread with mango leaves and haldi and tie the right hand of both bride and groom together. Making the relationship official and taking blessings from god.

The barber then cuts the toenails of the bride and groom inside the mandap symbolizing the negativity gone. Then the bride’s mother and father gave away the bride’s hand to the groom denoting that not she is his forever.

Bor Baton & Leilenga-Manipur

Bor baton and Leilenga are a fun wedding ritual from Manipur. For Bor Baton, the young brothers from being bride’s house visit the groom’s house to convince him and invite him to the wedding. Also accompanied by lots of gifts and fun chat.

Simultaneously in the bride-to-be’s house, the bride with her bridesmaid weave her Garlands for the garland ceremony by herself along with the main priest chanting holy mantras to keep away the wedding from any kind of negativity and blessing it with god.

Ab Shehrun-Kashmir

Ab shehrun is a beautiful Kashmiri wedding ritual in which the bride takes bath to cleanse herself from any negativity for the fresh start of her new phase of life. Usually accompanied by her mother and sister. The elders of the house bless the girl for a good and positive start.

After that, the bride gets ready in her traditional outfit also known as Pehran and then takes blessing from god by offering two rakath.Sparsham Ritual-Kerala

Sparsham Ritual is a wedding ritual from Kerala where the groom and bride sit together on the floor facing each other. Their heads are met and then the bride puts rice in the holy fire symbolizing their holy meeting. After that, the groom puts the right foot of the bride on the grindstone symbolizing that she has finally left her house and now she has entered her new family with him.

Kalire Ceremony-Punjabi

The Kalira ceremony is a well-known ceremony performed at every Punjabi wedding. In this beautiful kaliras are tied to the chooda of the bride-to-be. It is also encrusted with some betel nuts and dry fruits.  he bride then goes to the unmarried girls and shakes her kaliras above them. It is said that if the betel nut or a part of kalira falls on any of the girls that she will be the one to get married next.’

https://weddingplannerspune.in/

[talldarkandroguesome]

6th of Sun’s Dusk, Sundas

I have so enjoyed having Kuna and Cariel around. Sildras, too, has been in such a wonderful mood. I know that he needs more playmates his age and having sisters to look after seems to bring him much joy and pride. Kuna is very independent and asks for few things, though she has grand expectations of her older brother. Sildras does his best to meet her every desire, though I have explained to him that he need not do every single thing she asks of him. Only what is within his capability and reason. He should not overexert himself on her behalf and that boundaries are important.

I think it is a difficult lesson for him and he is trying. Still, to see her happy he pushes himself time and again.

Cariel is amazed at anything that is new and different and so she is happy just to listen to whatever subject Sildras wishes to speak on or show her. She loves his stories and often can be see gripping her doll in one hand and the hem of Sildras’ robe in another. When he is not around, Cariel attaches herself to me in much the same manner. It is so very endearing.

Of course, their time together with us is drawing to its close. They are to return back to Valenwood on the morrow.

Naturally, I was not going to have my girls leave without a couple of days of extra fun and activities. So we all took another country ride. The foliage is a spectacular array of colors, as if fire lit the tip of every branch. Cariel tried to collect every leaf she thought was pretty and ended up filling her skirt, which she lifted up into a bundle. It was threatening to overflow, even still, so I sat her down and began to show her, with some thread, how to make a garland, so that she could have strings of her collected leaves without worry about losing them.

Kuna thought it was a baby game and was busy striking at the falling leaves with a stick that she called her spear. Sildras had Avon’s help to set up his easel and he busied himself with painting the landscape around us.

I helped Cariel with her garlands to make herself a circlet, a necklace, and bracelets. Then we set about foraging some of the few edible mushrooms I know how to identify. Cariel insisted on carrying the basket and other than the occasional dropped specimen, she did a very good job. A simple remind was all it took for her to turn back and pick up whatever fell and she was very excited to be able to say that she went mushroom foraging.

Avon had set up a small campfire, Kuna excitedly announcing that she had gathered things other than wood to be burned. Avon asked if we were ready to light it and who should like to do the honors. Kuna and Cariel both wanted to quite badly, so I told them that they should each pick an animal. Kuna chose a sabercat and Cariel a moth. I asked each of them to hold out a hand and concentrate on their animal. I put my hand besides each of theirs and summoned small flames. I told them to really concentrate on it. To see it in their mind and then began to shape the animals that they chose.

I asked how each of them thought their animal might help to start the fire. Cariel said that a sabercat would go running at the fire and pounce on it like prey. Cariel said that a moth would simply have to touch it.

So I made the flaming sabercat race to the piled materials and encircle the base once before jumping onto the kindling in the center. The moth flew about the top, dancing amongst the logs before alighting on the center and turning into flame.

Kuna gave a hoot and jumped up and down in excitement and then, as she landed the fourth of fifth time, a small flame shot from the center of her fist.

Everyone stopped and looked at her and a huge grin spread across her lips. Sildras told her she had used magicka. Avon looked worried, perhaps given her typical attitude of liking to get her way, but I placed a hand on his shoulder and told Kuna that she had, indeed, some natural ability. I said it ran in our bloodline and that she must have inherited it.

Her joy turned to puzzlement as she asked if that meant that she could not be a great hunter. I told her that it would not deter her ability to learn any weapon she desired. It simply meant that she also had the opportunity to learn to control her flames or other schools of magicka if she so desired. Further, if she were to want to learn such things, then during her visits here we would see to it that she was able to take classes to help her learn to do many more things.

She raised her stick in one hand and her open palm in another and began to sing about how invincible she was and how powerful and mighty. I had to remind her that fire could also hurt things, hurt people, so she needed to be careful with her new knowledge until we could help her learn to control it.

It did not dampen her spirits and so we spent the rest of the day having a nice meal of grilled mushrooms and fish we had brought with us. I grilled some ash cakes as well and we had a pleasant meal.

I sent word to the House Council of Kuna’s innate abilities and asked that they prepare some of her lessons to be in a vein of growing and controlling her abilities. Mother, to all our surprise, came unannounced around supper and wished to speak privately with Kuna. I was hesitant about it given Nabine’s feelings about Mother, but I allowed it. And Kuna seemed quite pleased when she returned from the conversation.

Kuna asked Mother for stories of her time as a battlemage and Cariel watched her with big round eyes, fascinated. At the end, she asked if Mother was in the history books. Mother laughed and said that perhaps she was, but more as a supportive role. She never desired to be in the spotlight. You have more freedom if not everyone knew who you were.

There was a pleasant evening to be had by all. Mother does not treat Kuna, or even Cariel, any different than she does Sildras. It fills my heart to see them treated so equally. I hope that means that Mother has fully accepted them. They are such great girls and I would not wish them to feel any slight when it came to Mother’s affections.

Today I have a grand feast and party set for their final night. Presents, too. I hope the girls enjoy them all.

[natromanxoff]

FELIX TAYLOR INTERVIEW WITH QUEEN ONLINE - OCTOBER, 2006 (INTERVIEW-2)

PART-1

What kind of father is Arty? How you do describe him?

He’s a very nice man – generous and kind-hearted, and actually very funny when you know him well. My brother and sisters and I are quite mean to him, we’re always taking the piss, but we all love very much. He’s as much a friend as a father to me. Good drinking buddy too.

I know you're writing a new novel. Are you planning to publish it one day?

Of course, why else would I bother writing it? No takers as yet unfortunately, and I’m working on my second book – an occult thriller.

What is your unfulfilled dream?

To learn how to surf, become really good at skiing, and have a wicked job that allows me to do both for a good spell of the year. Oh, and have a lovely wife and kids, be really successful, and generally the don of everything. I’d like to be seen as a cross between James Bond, Sir Walter Scott, the Beach Boys and Ghandi. I’m quite clumsy and the idea of being super-dextrous appeals to me, but I know that I will always fall over if I do anything physical (it’s actually quite reassuring now – at least I know what I’m going to get if I try t show off).

Would you like to become a writer?

Very much, you can choose your own hours and be the master of the worlds you create. It’s such fun coming up with storylines and characters. What a great job if you can make any money out of it! The bit I like less is the actual writing, but you just need to grind on with that I suppose. I’ll carry on writing till I’m senile or I get a book properly published at any rate.

Where do you live?

In East London – it’s fun, and it’s the oldest part of London along with the City, so there’s buckets of weird stuff to discover. It’s also changing faster than any other part of London, and you can literally watch the buildings come down and go up.

Are you in contact with Brian's and John's children?

Not as much as I should be. We should see more of each other really.

What was the first single or album you ever bought?

I have never bought singles. I would like to be able to say that the first album I bought was something g really cool, but unfortunately it was Bon Jovi’s Keep the Faith. I later learnt the error of my ways and started liking proper music.

Did you often follow your father when he was and is on tour?

I went to quite a few dates when I was very young, but they stopped playing live when I was six. The only one I can really remember is Live Aid (glad that’s the one that stuck in my mind). I joined my dad on their last tour quite a few times (we got very, very drunk one night in Japan in particular – bet he remembers that one!), and boy was I impressed – they are leagues ahead of most bands in terms of live performance.

Have you ever been in Italy? If so, when and where exactly?

I’ve been to Rome, Sardinia and Naples. Great country, fun people and good food, and the attitude to life is very different. Bad politics though, such a shame for italy to have so many crooks in power (I suppose the UK’s not much better).

What kind of education your parents gave you and your sister?

I went to a French Government school in London, and then boarding school when I was 13. I was very lucky to get such a good education, and I loved boarding school – don’t understand why people would knock it as a concept (though I do understand why people have a problem with the idea of private schools).

Is your personality more on the same wave-length as your dad or as your lovely mum? And why?

I’ve got a temper, which comes from my mum’s side, and I’m quite stubborn (not sure which side that’s from – they’re both a pain like that). I look like my mother, but I’ve got my father’s tastes when it comes to most things, and we share the same sense of humour. They’ve both made me who I am, and I ask them for different types of advice. I love them both to bits though.

PART-2

What are you currently listening too?

Hot Chip’s new album, but there’s only one good song on it. My friend Kamila Thompson’s music, which is quite brilliant, lots of the Who, Muse’s new album (superb), Stevie Wonder’s Inner Visions and a little bit of Razorlight.

Do you plan to promote this single on MTV or other TV channels, perhaps with a video to accompany the song?"

Not up to me, trying to get it out there, and would love to have some video footage, but we need some radio play first.

As Arty and Brian May are close friends I was thinking if you and his son are in contact and if so do you see him often?

I do see him, though not as often as I should. He’s just got married and he’s one of the nicest people you could ever meet.

What did you study at College?

European history, philosophy and politics, with French language and literature. I loved my degree and worked really hard for it, but it was a fat lot of use to me really – a degree’s worth nothing these days, too many people have them.

When you were a child you often stayed with Chris Taylor, Arty's personal assistent. Are you still in contact with him?

No longer. Lost contact with a lot of people since those days. It’s a long time ago.

Is your nature similar to your mother's or your father's?

Bit of both really – good and bad elements from both.

Would you ever consider starring in We Will Rock You?

No, I’m not an actor and I don’t like musicals either. I think they’re silly (apart from the one you are talking about of course, which is the greatest show on earth, a must see for the whole family etc.) Besides, nobody’s asked me to do it anyway.

You have a wonderful voice, you said back in Part 2 that your teenage brother is a drummer, are there any other musical members of your family (apart from the obvious)?

Nope. My sisters are all very talented in other ways (medecine, painting/drawing, showing off…) but my brother is the musical one. He’s quite cool too, and good-looking, the cocky bugger – really annoying actually.

You had mentioned your favorite album by your father is Happiness? which contains a few political statements. Are you as politically opinionated as your father, or share similar beliefs with him?

Yes, I’m quite intolerant sometimes, and have to stop myself from being a dick in conversation when I get too passionate about certain things. I share many of my dad’s beliefs, but we differ on some things. I’m a liberal in the old fashioned sense I suppose, and I think everyone should have the same opportunities and freedoms, but not at anyone else’s expense. I think both socialism and neo- liberalism/Thatcherism are bogus, and don’t concentrate on what actually makes people happy, which is feeling like they are part of a community with those people around them and being free to make their own decisions.

Will we be hearing more of your music in the near future?

I hope so, depends on whether this record goes anywhere. We’ll make some more, but we need to see how well this one does at the moment.

PART-3

What artists, past and present, do you enjoy listening to?

Anyone with soul, balls (not in the literal sense – there are women on my list of favourites) or an attitude.

Are there any other creative outlets besides music that you wish to pursue?

Writing, writing, writing. I’m quite a good mimic too actually, and I want to submit a voicereel for radio, just to see if I get anywhere.

You can save one thing from your burning house, what would it be?

Passport – doh! No, it would probably be my girlfriend, though I might be tempted to take the playstation at the time instead.

What is your favorite memory during your childhood?

Playing doctors and nurses.

Are there any popular songs that you would like to give your spin on (i.e. "cover")?

Several – I don’t like Mondays, concrete jungle by Bob Marley, do you wanna dance by the Beach Boys… loads.

Who created cover to the " 'Woman You're So Beautiful'" single?

I drew it, the graphics dudes coloured it.

What music you DON’T you like?

Middle Of the Road, contemporary R & B (what is it for?), contemporary hip-hop and things like Justin Timberlake… even a pop song has to have soul. Nothing wrong with good pop. I also hate pretentious music which is rubbish but trying to be clever: Captain Beefheart, Franz Ferdinand et al…

My first question is, how did having a famous father affect you as a child? Was everyone eager to be your friend because of your dad's status or were most people pretty relaxed about it? Did your classmates give you a hard time about being related to a rockstar?

No, was always very lucky. Made sure to make friends with people before they knew my dad was a popstar. Never teased about this or anything, always had good solid friends. Never really helped with the girls either – I had to win them over with my natural good looks and charm.

Second, I was reading your answers from your last batch of questions and I was wondering if you would care to elaborate on your ambitions of being an author.

What a vague question. I want to write a book and sell it to lots of people. I like odd stories that involve the macabre or political/spiritual ideas. My favourite twentieth century authors are Lewis, Huxley, Robert Graves and Orwell.

I'd like to see how you look like. How about showing us a recent pic of yours? A real one of course, not that comic thingy. Wink

No sweat, I’ll post one on the Myspace site then. I look better in cartoon though.

What are your 5 desert island discs?

Not necessarily my favourites, as I would play them often…

Dark side of the moon, Inner Visions, The Who, live at leeds, Catch a fire and 2 Many DJ’s (the Soulwax mix comp.)

What did you think of the Queen + Paul Rodgers tour?

Brilliant, my dad has never played so well as on some of those dates… not just saying that. I was really impressed.

Beatles or The Stones?

Beatles! The Stones are a silly joke band after the Brian Jones period… they vastly inferior songwriters compared to the Beatles, they can’t do the harmonies or perfect vocals that the Beatles managed to put together, and they’re a twangy, plinky-plonky white blues band, so much less groundbreaking or sophisticated than the Beatles. They just had attitude when they played live.

Do you have any guilty pleasures?

Drink, being naked, taking a valium and walking around the house a couple of times a year. I like cold leftovers more than hot food as well, doesn’t matter what it is , if it’s been in the fridge overnight, it’s gold.

Roger’s PA is lovely could you introduce me?

I’m afraid she’s a taken woman! She is lovely indeed, a really special person, and I think of her as family. She can be scary sometimes though – she’s very good at her job.

INTERVIEW-1

[gyusfavlibra]

YOU MAY NOT COPY OR REPOST MY WORK ANYWHERE!!!

This is a imagine I made on my Wattpad that hasn't been released yet so I posted it here. @ivnasfilm is my wattpad btw!

Warnings: Fluff? Smut? Sexual interactions, language, cockblocking, Ward Cameron mentions, grinding, mentions of sex

••••

"Are your parents home?"

"No, they're at Thornton's for a couple hours."

"Sarah and Wheezie, too?"

"Yes," Rafe replied to his questioning girlfriend, Y/n. The duo have been dating for a year now. Y/n has been inside Rafe's house many times. She met him through her brother Kelce. He was pretty worried about it at first, but eventually Kelce would've had to get over it because Y/n is 18. She's a legal adult. She can do whatever the hell she wants.

They got closer by attending parties together, spending days at the country club, golf course. Sometimes even just sitting and talking at the beach. It was more than enough for both of them and they enjoyed it all. They made it official by attending Midsummers together. It was a pretty big deal to them since every single Kook would now know that Rafe Cameron officially had a girlfriend.

The first time she met Sarah, they hit it off pretty well. Did sleepovers, painted nails, read magazines about hot guys. Basically girly stuff. Even took fun trips on the Cameron's boat to get away from their boyfriends. They became best friends and truly loved each other's company.

Just like Rafe enjoyed Y/n's.

"Sooo, can I come inside?"

He leant his head back against the car seat. Staring at the girl who was sitting in the driver side of her vehicle. "Can you come inside?"

"Yeah, or- do you want me to?"

The mood in the car lightened as their talk became less questioning and more seductive. Y/n leaning over the center console, her breath hitting Rafe's face in all the ways he likes. Her hand reached over, brushing against his thigh.

"Do I even have to answer that?"

She shook her head at the Cameron before connecting their lips. Softly and gentle was how it was starting off, before Rafe placed his hand onto the zipper of her jeans.

"Not in here. Let's go inside."

"Okay."

The couple exited the car, Y/n making sure to lock it, and headed inside the house. Rafe using his own key to get indoors. They ran up the steps to Rafe's room, shutting the door behind them. Y/n removed her maroon crew neck, sitting herself on Rafe's bed as he removed his t-shirt.

He gently pushed her down sliding his heavier body between her legs. Leaving little kisses from her chest and up. He knew better than to give her hickeys on the neck because of Kelce so he avoided that.

His hand ran itself up and down her waist, giving it a small squeeze. They liked skin pressure. Tension. They began moving upwards, pushing under her cami top. A cropped tank that protected your breast if you didn't want to wear a bra. She tend to wear them often when around Rafe for these special purposes. And today, she just got lucky.

His thumb grazed the side of her breast. "Can I take this off?"

"Mhm."

"Hey Rafe, I need a the U-"

Before he could continue, Wheezie came barging through the door. Covering her eyes. Rafe groaned at the fact that his sister didn't knock. Knowing whenever the door is closed, you knocked.

"Wheezie, we talked about this-"

"I know. I'm sorry. I keep forgetting," she sighed. "Hi, Y/n."

"Hi, Wheez."

"What do you need? Why aren't you at dinner with dad and Sarah?"

"Halfway through the dinner, Rose threw up because Topper's parents made snail and she didn't like it. She made an excuse saying she was probably coming down with the flu. So we came back early."

"What did the Thornton's say?" Y/n asked. Intrigued by this hilarious story as Rafe put back on his shirt.

"Nothing. Just that we should head home just incase they could catch whatever it was."

"That sounds awesome!"

"Yeah, I know. Hey, wanna see the video."

"Oh absolutely," Y/n exclaimed, getting up from Rafe's bed. He sighed as he watched the two girls laugh at the gross vomiting. Althought part of him was glad Y/n was getting along with his little sister. "That's freaking gross. Cool. Like really cool. But gross."

"Yeah, i'm gonna upload it to my Instagram."

"Tag me?"

"Obviously."

"Awesome! Thanks."

Rafe stood. "So, what did you need?"

"I need the USB cord to connect my phone and laptop to upload the video in a file just in case dad and Rose make me take it down."

He huffed out his breath, walking over to his desk. He opened the top drawer, pulling out a mid-length white cord, handing it to his sister. She thanked him and tried to leave, but Rafe stopped her at the doorway. Death glaring her.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone. Chill out. Not like I wanna talk about it and picture it again."

"We weren't doing anything."

"I may be young, but I'm not stupid."

"She's got a point," Y/n agreed. Wheezie fist bumped her and left. Rafe shutting the door behind her. He turned to Y/n who just shrugged at the annoyed boyfriend of hers.

He smiled as he walked up to her, pushing his face close to hers. "Now, where were we?"

"You tell me."

He chuckled, the vibration against her lips sending chills down her whole body. He kissed her seductively like he did once before. This time Y/n pushed Rafe down onto the large bed, enough room for her to switch that position.

Her hands rested on his ribs as she grinded her clothed area against his member. A moan escaped her lips as a huff left his. The jeans in between them horrifying this exciting interaction.

She swayed her tongue and lips against his neck. His eyes rolling to the back of his head, letting out a grunt. She scooted down a few inches so she wasn't sitting directly on top of his belt.

"God, these pants got to go."

"So do yours."

She undid the strap of his waistline. Next thing was unbuckling his pants. She undid the button that lied above the zipper before grabbing the loose metal tab, pulling it down it's line.

"Rafe, dad needs you downsta- HOLY SHIT!"

"OH MY GOD," he groaned out loud. Y/n pushed herself off the dirty blonde, landing beside him. Sarah stood in the doorway, eyes covered, laughing.

"Stop laughing."

"You guys were totally about to do it," she sang as she pointed between them.

"Shut up, Sarah."

"Dad wants you. Said something about the golf course or country club. One of the two. I don't know," she shrugged as she sat beside Y/n. Rafe looked to his girlfriend.

"I'll be right back. You," he pointed to Sarah. "Be gone before i'm back."

"Will do, dickeroo."

Rafe left downstairs as Sarah turned to Y/n and smiled with eyebrows raised. "What are you staring at?"

"Uh...you. Were you guys about to have sex? Since when?"

"Well our first time together was months ago. Like 3 or 4."

"When we were first friends, you said you never planned on having it until you're married. Since when has that changed?"

She shrugged. "Since I met Rafe."

"You guys are too adorable. Well you, not him. Can't stand him."

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes I can't stand Kelce. I wanna kill him."

"Yeah, well let me get going before Rafe tries to kill me." (No pun intended)

She hugged Y/n before leaving the room, just as Rafe walked back in. This time locking the door before shutting it. "That is the last interruption for the night. I told everyone I was going to bed."

"Well, good cause I am trying to get my freak on," she laughed as he jumped back onto of her. Finishing what they've been trying to start.

Thanks for reading!!!

[choicesmonthlychallenge]

Choices Sibling Appreciation Week(ish)

Not quite a week, but who's counting?

Last year I hosted a Sibling Appreciation Month(ish), with over a month of sibling pairs specific to days. While it was a lot of fun, it felt tedious and tiresome by the end. I don't think we need something so structured. So this is much shorter but more open.

Sibling Appreciation takes place December 23-26, 2021.

Event extension: From December 26 through 31: previously published content will be accepted as will late entries of new content.

Please tag @choicesmonthlychallenge​​ . You may also tag my personal blog (@lovealexhunt) or message me your content here if you're worried about the tag going through.

Additional rules, guidelines, and sibling ideas are below the cut.

Rules + Guidelines

Schedule December 23-26: New content only December 26-31: late new content + previously published content

Any and all siblings from Choices books are welcomed including original character siblings. (This can be siblings of your MCs or siblings you gave other Choices characters... I know this was requested last year and I hope those people are still interested!)

The siblings should be the focus of the work. MC / OC / LI are all welcomed but shouldn't pull focus from the siblings featured.

Every form of work can be submitted: fanfiction, drabbles, moodboards, edits, drawings, poems, songs, sketches, and more—all are welcomed.

You don't have to participate in all 4 days. You can participate as much or as little as you want. You can submit multiple things each day if you would like.

You may combine sibling appreciation with any other prompts from other challenges. (December Challenge, WackyDrabbles, OPH challenges, etc)

Since siblings are the focus, no NSFW content should be submitted.

I will reblog all content submitted and make a masterlist at the end of the event.

Late submissions will be accepted through December 31, 2021

Possible Siblings

This list does not contain all Choices siblings and does not include siblings from any books debuting this year. This is the list of siblings included in last year's event.

This list is just to give you some ideas to get started. Remember, any and all Choices siblings including OC's are welcomed.

In order of their appearance in last year's event (so basically, random!)

Baz and Zaid Mirani (Open Heart) Zoey Day & Luz Mendez (Mother of the Year) Chris & AJ Powell (The Freshman Series) Noah & Jane Marshall (It Lives) MC, Harry Foredale, and/or Edmund Marlcaster (Desire & Decorum) MC, Jess/Party Sister, Nicole/Bookish Sister, and/or Alex/brother (Rules of Engagement) Sawyer & Duke Oakley (Big Sky Country) Connor & Stacey Green (It Lives) Maxwell & Bertrand Beaumont (The Royal Romance) MC & Atlas (The Elementalists) Chris, Sean, Tyler Winters (Hollywood U/Red Carpet Diaries) Jake and Rebecca McKenzie (Endless Summer/Most Wanted) Kayden & Cyrus Vescovi (The Royal Masquerade)  Noah, Elijah, and/or Hazel Harris (My Two First Loves)  MC and Amelia Hayes (The Unexpected Heiress) The Waverley Siblings (all or any combination) (The Haunting of Braidwood Manor) Drake & Savannah Walker (The Royal Romance) Aerin & Baldur Valleros (Blades of Light & Shadow) Thomas & Rachel Hunt (Hollywood U/Red Carpet Diaries) Raydan Lykel and Adder of Lykos (The Crown & the Flame) Flynn & Kate O’Malley (Veil of Secrets) MC & Twin (High School Story: Class Act) MC & Elliot (It Lives Beneath) Francis & John Somerset (The Unexpected Heiress) Zig Ortega & sisters (The Freshman Series) Keira & Zeke Theron (The Royal Romance) MC, Eos, Pax (Across the Void) Sam Dalton & Robin Flores (The Nanny Affair) Beckett & Katrina Harrington (The Elementalist)  Tyril & Adrina Starfury (Blades of Light & Shadow) MC & Anna (Baby Bump) Justin & Nora Mercado (Save the Date)  Bryce & Keiki Lahela (Open Heart) Liam & Leo & Lena Rys (The Royal Romance) Mickey & Mason Dalton (The Nanny Affair) MC & Kade (Blades of Light & Shadow) Ajay & Mohit Bhandari (High School Story: Class Act) Rose & Trystan Blake (The Crown & The Flame)

[favefandomimagines]

Love It or Lose It (r.c.)

Summary: at Midsummers you have to choose; your friends or your boyfriend?

AN: obvs this is not canon rafe and I just really love drew starkey lol also idk what this really is

For years, you and Kiara have been the Kooks who hung out with the Pogues. Which was a deal breaker to most of your friends on Figure Eight. You wanted to maintain a some sort of truce between the two groups so you kept one foot in both worlds, when Kiara went full Pogue. 

But when you met Rafe, you might as well have gone full Kook instead. You went to all the parties, all the country club brunches with his family, even though he knew you detested it. 

He knew that you had a friendship with the Pogues but he accepted it. He didn’t like it, but he accepted it because they made you happy as much as he did. And your happiness was his number one concern.

Rafe succeeded in always making you happy, too. Not with the gifts he got you way more often than you needed but because of the words he said and the attention to detail in put into dates. He genuinely cared about you and that was something no one saw coming when it came to Rafe Cameron. 

The Kook King had been cuffed by a person who was the complete opposite of him and he was okay with that. 

Midsummer’s was that evening and your mother was helping you get yourself ready. You had begged Rafe to just skip it and get drunk on the beach together but Ward was very adamant on his son, and his girlfriend, attending the event. 

“Honey, stop complaining. This is a huge deal for you and Rafe.” Your mom said. “Why? We’re not getting engaged.” You retorted. “Not yet.” She muttered. You gave her a look in the mirror before going back to finishing your makeup. 

Soon after, you got your dress on and looked at your reflection. You weren’t going to lie and say you didn’t look good, you just wish you didn’t have to go. You and Kie had been talking about how you both loathed Midsummer’s. 

She also filled you in on what was going on with the whole treasure hunting situation. You even let the friend group use your computer to look up some coordinates. You weren’t directly involved but you helped when you could. 

“Y/N, Rafe is here.” You mom announced, poking her head into your room. You smoothed out your dress, took one last glance at yourself before leaving your room. 

“Hey, baby. You look gorgeous.” Rafe said to you. “Thank you. You look handsome, even if you are wearing a pastel colored suit.” You teased. “You’re never going to get past that are you?” He asked. “Nope.” You answered. 

Rafe smiled down at you before placing a kiss on your forehead. “Are you ready to go?” He asked. “No, but your dad made it pretty clear we had to be there.” You said. “If it were up to me, we’d ditch this stupid party, you know that. But my dad-” Rafe started. “I know, it’s okay. The last thing I want to do is make your dad upset.” You interjected. 

About 30 minutes later, you arrived at the event, all of the rich people gawking at you and Rafe. Commenting to both your parents and his how perfect the two of you were for each other. 

It was becoming a lot for you to handle all at once so you kindly excused yourself and went to find Sarah. You and Sarah were close, as close as a sister and her brother’s girlfriend could be. 

You found her on the dance floor with Wheezie and gladly joined in on the fun. That was until you spotted JJ in a waiter’s uniform, passing something to Sarah. 

“JJ? What the hell are you doing here?” You questioned. “Delivering a note from John B to Sarah.” JJ answered, grabbing your hand to dance with you, an attempt to keep his cover. “About?” You asked. “The treasure, obviously.” JJ said. 

You were about to answer when you spotted Rafe behind JJ. “JJ, you should go. Like, now.” You told him. He seemed to get your point, more so as a warning, and left you before Rafe could get to him. 

“What was he doing here?” Rafe asked you in an accusatory manner. “He’s working. He just came to say hi.” You told him. 

The thing that you “disliked” most about Rafe, was his temper towards JJ. You didn’t know what he loathed so much about JJ but anything that had to do with him, Rafe saw red. You didn’t know if it was because he was insecure, afraid JJ was going to take you away from him, or what. But it was something that got on your nerves because JJ was your friend. He was your friend long before the prejudices started. 

“Rafe, he’s my friend. He’s allowed to say hi.” You added. Rafe clenched his jaw and nodded his head before leaning down to kiss you rather possessively. 

Again, the rest of the night went the same as it started. People commenting about you and Rafe and he wasn’t even with you. He went off with Topper and Kelce to get high somewhere. 

You didn’t mind when it was just weed but you always got him whenever he wanted to get the harder stuff. You stood with Kiara, being filled in on what was going on in their efforts to find the treasure. While you were conversing, a large security guard exited the country club, pushing JJ out ahead of him. 

“Hey, you can’t kick him out!” Kiara yelled at the man. “He’s not a guest.” The security guard stated. “He’s my guest. He came with my family, ask my mom.” You stepped in. “Y/N, what are you doing?” Rafe asked, appearing next to you. “He can’t just be kicked out. He didn’t do anything.” You told him. 

Before he could answer, you noticed his disgruntled suit and JJ’s slightly bloodied face. “You got into a fight with him. That’s why they’re throwing him out.” You concluded. “Y/N,” He started. “You said no fighting. Especially my friends.” You continued.

“Y/N! We need your help!” John B called. You turned to look at him and then to Kiara and JJ. And then lastly to Rafe. “Don’t. Don’t do it, Y/N.” Rafe said quietly grabbing your hand. “But they’re my friends and they need me.” You told him. “Y/N!” JJ called.

You paused for a moment, looking at Rafe before turning to look at your friends. “I’m sorry.” You whispered. Your hand slipped out of his and you turned to join the rest of your friends. 

Rafe watched as you walked away from him, not really knowing how to feel in that moment. He had half a mind to go after you but he didn’t. Topper jogged and stopped next to his friend, watching the same scene unfold. 

“Let her go, man. She’s not worth it.” Topper commented. In a split second, Rafe turned to Topper and punched him in the jaw, sending him to the ground. 

Of course he was angry, upset, hurt, but no one could tell him you weren’t worth it. Because you’d always be worth it. 

[oitommothetease]

Invisible String (8/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Description: James Buchanan Barnes, the owner of the most expensive-looking club in town and your new apartment. He was a dick and you hated him. What could possibly go wrong when you, the new girl in town, start bartending at his club to pursue your dreams?

Word Count: 2.4k words

Your parents’ house was exactly how you remembered it, but again, it had been only two months since you last saw it. Contrary to your usual life, a lot has changed in two months. You aren't working in a cubicle anymore, you're not going on random blind dates that your sister and mother plot for you. What you are doing is bartending in a town far away from your family. You're fake dating your boss who happens to be the most dangerous person in the town, at least that's what you've heard of the rumors, but so far, James has been nothing but non-threatening to you. Yes, he was mean in the beginning, but a lot has changed since then. 

And now sitting in front of your parents with James beside you, eating lunch; you recall Barry's diner and you miss the food there. It's funny because you always thought that this was your home, your family and everything associated with them should make you feel at peace, but you were feeling everything but that. You were restless and anxious, and you wanted to go to that cozy dinner with James where Sally would tell you anecdotes about her life. You wanted to sit with James and watch him debunk the myths about his career that you believed were true your whole life. Turns out, he doesn't cut off people’s dick for disrespecting him. Who would have thought? And you decided that maybe you should stop reading those stupid mafia stories.

James sensed your discomfort, you don't know how he does that, but he always knows when something is bothering you. He brought his chair closer to you in hopes of providing you some relief. And it did, his presence made you feel at ease and you weren't sure how you felt about it. You knew you were dependent on him for comfort since the incident at his club, but being with him didn't make you feel caged.

You always thought that a relationship would make you feel stuck. That's why you never engaged in one, but with James, it felt liberating. Maybe because this wasn't real and the moment this turns real, it'll be a shithole. At least that's what you told yourself. 

“So, what do you do, James?” your father asked, and you nearly choked on your food. James's hand involuntarily reached towards your back, his thumb running soothing circles while his palms patted gently. 

“I own a club and a few other buildings in town,” your faux boyfriend answered, and you were thankful he didn't get into his other business. You wanted to ask about all the rumors in town and why people are so scared of him and why does everyone in the club carries a gun, but you were scared to ask. You feared that you wouldn't like the answers. Honestly, that's false, you weren't scared of the answers, you were scared that what if he closes himself again the moment you step into uncharted territory. And you really liked this fun, caring, swiftie James.

Everybody was sitting silently at the table which was unusual because usually family dinners were the place where everyone pointed out your faults. Carol kept glancing at your parents every few seconds and vice versa. Your brother-in-law, Nick, was focused on the food and their kids were taking a nap.

 You were going to thank your stars for this peaceful lunch when your sister broke off the silence. “So, how did you two meet?”

Every head on the table turned towards you expectantly, waiting for you to explain how you met James. What were you supposed to say? That you met when you interviewed for your current job and he clearly rejected you? 

Before the panic could make its way to the surface, James' palm landed on yours softly, grounding you. Your sister's eyes fell to your hands on the table and she scoffed.

 “We're glad you're happy, but at least don't forget basic table etiquette,” She commented. How could you forget the ‘no hands on the table while eating’ rule? Just when you were about to remove your hand from the table, James held your hand and placed it on his lap, lacing his fingers with yours. 

“Auntie Y/N!” A shriek made you turn behind, and you saw your nephew and niece running towards you with the biggest grin on their faces. Both the kids jumped in your embrace without a care of their surroundings and you stifled a laugh.

Bucky didn't like kids, hated them, to be honest. In his defense, what's there to like, they're always whining and crying, but seeing you attempting to straddle two 5-year-olds on your lap while their mother complained might change his opinions on the subject. 

You didn't like kids either, except your nephew and niece. They were perfect in your eyes, but maybe you were a bit partial because you sort of shared genes with them. You were so focused on the stories Alec and Izzy were telling you that you didn't notice the eyes that were fixed on you. James looked at you with not only adoration, but also devotion. He knew if he kept looking at you like that, he'd be deep in shit, but it was too late now. 

After dinner, you made your way to the bedroom, only to realize that there was one bed. Fuck. You really should have thought this through. 

Before the embarrassment could seep in, James started collecting a blanket and some pillows. “I'll take the floor,” He said. 

You frowned. “No, James. You've already done so much for me. Take the bed, please.”

James pretended not to hear you and started preparing his bed on the floor. 

“Seriously?” You queried, slightly huffing at his childish behavior. “You're gonna pretend you didn't hear me. How old are you, five?”

Without saying a word, James started humming a tune and situated himself on the makeshift bed on the floor and closed his eyes. 

You stomped your foot furiously, yeah, maybe you were a little childish too. Without muttering another word, you made your way towards the bed and tucked yourself in a comfortable position. 

“You were saying something?” James asked, his voice laced with tease, and you huffed at his tomfoolery. 

“Yeah, just how immature you are.”

“Sorry, I didn't hear that. What was that?” you couldn't see him, but you knew he was doing some theatrical actions by putting his hands on his ears for better listening or furrowing his eyes in feigned confusion. “That I'm so smart? Oh, why, thank you. You're not so bad yourself.”

“That's real mature, James,” you murmured, clearly not enjoying his antics.

A comfortable silence fell in the room. The only thing that could be heard was your breathing and the air conditioner that always sucked in your childhood room but your parents never thought it was a primary concern. Oh, yeah, also, you were staying in your teenage room with your boss. You tried telling your parents that you could get a hotel, but they insisted so now James could see one direction posters on the wall right in front of him.

You would have assumed that he fell asleep if he hadn't broken the silence. “I know it's not my business and you don't have to answer if you don't want to,” he paused, wondering whether he is crossing a line by asking you this. “But why do you let them treat you like that?”

You coughed in surprise, you clearly did not expect him to ask this. You thought maybe he was going to ask you who is your favorite one direction member. Anything really, expect this. “Wow, you do not beat around the bush.”

You could hear him shuffling and once he settled you were sure he was facing you. Well, the bed actually. You did the same, turning towards him. You couldn't see him, but it still felt so intimate.

 “I'm honest with people I trust,” he informed and you smiled, thinking about the time when he told you he did not trust you or your intentions.

“What do I get in return?” you teased, although you would have told him without getting anything in return.

“What do you want?”

You debated for a minute whether you should go forward and just ask him so you did. “What do you do?”

You didn't expect him to actually answer. You knew that your relationship (whatever that was) with James had increased from where it was a few months ago. You deeply cared for each other and had mutual trust in the other. But you still didn't know about the actual work he did. Your realtor told you that he was a criminal, a mobster to be exact, and had sketchy connections with the mafia but you didn't know the exact nature of his work. 

He signed heavily and you were ready to drop the subject, scared that it would only push him away again and you couldn't lose whatever you had this early. 

“We provide weapons to the government at a cheaper price, eliminate problems or shootouts that the government is too scared to take the blame for,” he said, voice unwavering but you could sense the tension. Bucky thought that telling you about his work would make you fear him, and he didn't want to risk losing the progress he made with you, but he also knew that if he wanted you in his life in any form then he has to be honest with you. “We don't do the kind of stuff you're thinking of, it's mostly assisting the government to do stuff where they don't want to get their hands dirty.”

“Why?”

“How would you feel if the leaders of your country were involved in shady business?” It was a rhetorical answer, of course, you would feel unsafe, but your sleep-dazed brain was about to muster up an answer but he quickly spoke. “So if it backfires then they don't lose their men and women and can blame it on us, the criminals.”

“So that's why you weren't scared if I went to the cops? Because you kinda work for them?” you asked. His reaction made a lot of sense now, but some part of your brain hoped that he did that for you. That he would defy the police for you. 

“Off charts yeah,” he answered, “Although that has nothing to do with why I wanted you to go to the cops. I wanted you to because what Rumlow did was unacceptable and he should pay for his actions.”

“Wow,” you didn't know what to say. Anything further could push him back to the 'I don't trust you' James and you couldn't risk that. 

Bucky didn't want to elaborate further, “Your turn.”

“Sir, you just set yourself up for the biggest disappointment,” you joked, already imagining his reaction and smiling to yourself. 

“I let them treat me like this because they are my family,” you replied honestly. “I don't have anyone else but them.”

Bucky knew all about the issues that come with family, but he didn't think you'd be the victim of it. Bucky realized that in his head, he had conjured up a version of you that was perfect, so if he were to know you better, it would decrease his crush on you, right? 

Wrong. The more Bucky got to know you, the more he realized you weren't some angel and were just a vulnerable human like everyone, and the more he wanted you, all of you.

“Where does Rumlow come in this?” you questioned.

“His work is dirty like drugs, sex trafficking so he doesn't work well with government or any sort of authority,” he explained, “He's one of the problems they wanna eliminate but can't because he's too powerful. He works with Hydra.”

“Wasn't Hydra a myth?” you queried. You have heard stories about Hydra too, how Bucky was their rival. You assumed it was about territory or money. You know, like in the movies.

“Nah, doll, it's real. He's part of that organization and that makes him shielded from us and literally everyone.” 

“So you're technically not… you know, killing people for fun like the mafia and all? You're like undercover agents,” you concluded and he shook his head, chuckling at the disappointment in your voice.

In your defense, you expected him to be the movie-type mafia boss who kills people for raising their voice but again, this is not a movie. 

“If it makes you feel better, we smuggle weapons for the government. We're still criminals and dangerous,” he articulated, his tone laced with amusement at your reaction.

 “No offense, but that's a horrible career. Is that what you wanted to do growing up?” you asked, yawning, your eyelids becoming heavy from the exhaustion.

“No,” he answered truthfully. “Not everyone gets a choice, doll. My dad was murdered when I was a kid and I was shoved into the business to protect my family.”

 “Where are they? Your family, I mean,” you inquired, hoping you weren't overstepping.

“Ma basically hates me and my sister maintains her distance, but it's for her own safety.”

You didn't ask about them further, realizing his family was a touchy subject for him. You could relate to that. “What do you want to do?”

Out of all your questions and weird assumptions, this took James by surprise. No one asked him what he wanted to do. Hell, he didn't even ask him that, and now someone finally asked him, he didn't know what to answer. You understood his silence, you always understood everything James felt even without it being voiced. He generally hated when people predicted him, he prided himself on being unpredictable but not with you. James wanted nothing more than to just be Bucky with you.

“Don’t worry, you'll figure something out,” you mumbled, already drifting off to sleep.

James turned towards the opposite side. “Sleep well, doll.” he murmured, his breath growing even, matching yours.

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