#we did see he isn't hostile

[drawer-of-socks]

Haven't drawn the boys in a hot minute-

[rivilu]

While we all know about Hawke's character-assasination in inquisition, I personally remain.. preplexed? a morbid kind of impressed? with how that game also managed to butcher my Warden with only about 5 lines of dialogue referring to him and a letter.

[matchingbatbites]

"What the fuck did you do?"

Eddie wasn't expecting hostility when he answered Jeff's phone call, his best friend's usual calm demeanor replaced with open annoyance. And yeah, okay, the annoyance itself wasn’t new, but Eddie doesn’t think he’s actually done anything recently to earn it.

"Well-"

"Actually, no. I'll tell you what you did. You retweeted photos of Steve Harrington - internationally beloved heartthrob actor Steve Harrington - along with the caption 'not to sound like a subby slut but GOD I would be his puppy baby boy in a heartbeat'. So I guess the better question is, what the fuck were you thinking, Eddie?"

Eddie's jaw clicks shut because- yeah, he had done that. Had seen those photos of Steve smoking circling the internet and spent god knows how long just staring at them, had curbed the desire to shove his hand down his pants by posting a single thirst tweet about it.

“I was thinking, Jeff, that I'm allowed to post whatever I want to my private fucking twitter, man. I mean it's a free country, isn't a guy allowed to make a horny tweet about a sexy man every now and then?”

“You are, when you actually post it to your private account and not our award winning band's main account.”

No. Oh no. There's no way Eddie actually-

He rips his phone away from his face to open twitter, and realizes two things simultaneously. One, Jeff is right, he had posted it to the band's account. Not on his private, locked, personal account, but on the account that's actually open and free for literally anyone on earth to look at.

The second thing he realizes is that their notifications are currently flooded with responses to Eddie's tweet, somehow racking up into the thousands in the few hours it's been since. 

Jesus Christ.

“Eddie?”

The metalhead jerks back into the moment and put Jeff on speaker so he can scroll through the horde of replies, says “Fuck, I fucked up. Are we gonna have to do damage control on this?”

In the mess is a reply from Gareth's own personal account: @ corrodededdie stop tweeting from the band account challenge 🙄🙄🙄

”Maybe. There hasn't been any type of response from Harrington or his people, but they might ask us to take it down if it blows up too much.“

Eddie hums, thinking they might be too little, too late about it blowing up too much, and flips over to his main account so he can reply to Gareth's little jab appropriately. He isn't surprised to see that he has a couple of new messages, probably from other people wondering just what the fuck Eddie was thinking, but when he goes to check them-

He's never been happier that he turned on messages from followers only, because then he would have missed this, missed Steve Harrington's little profile picture beaming up at him from the screen of his phone, along with a new message request.

”Jeff, I gotta go,” he says, not even realizing he's cut the other man off.

“Eddie, what-

”Harrington messaged me. I'll call you back.“

Eddie doesn't wait for a response as he hangs up on Jeff, and his hands definitely aren't shaking as he opens the message from Steve. And listen- Eddie is a fan of the guy, that much should be obvious. 

Steve had grown in popularity around the same time Corroded Coffin had; he’d gotten some part in a drama film that had skyrocketed him into stardom, and Eddie fell in love the moment he saw that gorgeous face on the silver screen for the first time. He's never had a chance to interact with the guy, has been in the same place a few times but always missed him, like ships passing in the night, but Eddie's been fine with pining from afar, just like every other person on the planet that's even remotely attracted to men.

Besides, even with how popular Corroded Coffin has gotten over the years - a couple of Grammy’s here, a dozen chart topping metal songs there - Eddie doesn’t expect Steve to just. Know who Eddie is.

With all of this in mind, Eddie is expecting some kind of semi-casual request to take the tweet down, that it's not a good look for his image-

Anything other than what Steve actually sent.

'If you're puppy baby boy, does that make me Master? Or Daddy?'

And Eddie- 

Eddie slides down, sinks into his couch cushion as all of the blood in his body suddenly shifts, rushing to fill his dick like it's a fucking race. The phone almost slips out of his hand and he fumbles it briefly before taking a deep breath. 

Is Steve serious? He wouldn't send that if he wasn't serious, right?

This could be it, could be Eddie's one chance to impress Steve, to get his foot in the door of Steve's interest. He bites his lip and types out a reply, something quick that he sends before he can change his mind.

‘I’m open to either, actually. Do you have a preference, sir?’

He doesn’t expect the typing indicator to come up immediately, and just knowing that Steve is somewhere right now, typing out a response to Eddie, is enough to have him nearly vibrating in his seat.

‘I’m partial to Daddy, myself.’

Fuck fuck fuck.

Eddie takes a breath, tries to think of a response that isn’t just ‘Please, Daddy, can I sit on your massive dick that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since that one indie film you did that just had all of your junk out in the open?’

Steve saves him by sending another message.

‘But maybe we could start with Steve, and possibly dinner? Though I’d be happy to see where things go after that.’

He- What-

Eddie must have stopped breathing, because the next time he takes a breath his lungs burn, his mid races because there’s no way Eddie’s long term celebrity crush just asked him on a date. He sits there long enough that the screen goes dark and he scrambles to turn it back on, sees the message still there, real and unchanged.

There’s no way he can say no to this, to Steve, and his hands shake as he types out a response.

‘Dinner would be great. Just name the time and place, Daddy.’

[yumeka-sxf]

New chapter today, and even though most of it seemed to continue the silly tone from the previous one, the last few pages actually shocked me! 👀

For the first time, ANYA CONFESSED TO SOMEONE THAT SHE CAN READ MINDS! Now this doesn't necessarily mean anything crazy will happen in the series from now on, since Damian doesn't believe her (at first). But proving that you can read minds is easy to do, so the question now becomes, will Anya keep trying to prove it to Damian until he believes her? Or will she regret it later and not try to prove it, and then the plot point isn't touched on again? Regardless, this chapter definitely makes it seem like Damian will be the first person to know about her mind-reading powers.

Then there's the question of why Anya chose to confess this to Damian? I think it's a combination of a few reasons, the main one being that Damian doesn't have any connection to her family, so little risk of him telling them and thus bringing about the fear of abandonment Anya has should they find out. This might also be why she chose to tell him over Becky, since Becky already has somewhat of a relationship with Loid and Yor. The other reason could be that, as time has gone on, she's learned to trust him, at least when it comes to something like this. As hostile as he is towards her, she knows that he's not a double-crosser or a blabbermouth, and deep down he wants to do what's right. And lastly, it was the heat of a moment - her knowledge about him seemed weird so he questioned it, and perhaps at that highlighted moment, when Damian was being genuinely nice to her (since she can read minds, she knows if he's being genuine or not), she wanted to try not lying for once, just to see what happens.

Guess we'll have to wait until next time to see if anything ground-breaking comes from this...will Anya keep pursuing this, will she regret it and let Damian continue to not believe her, or will it just not be mentioned again until later? This reminded me a bit of the Mole Hunt arc where Yuri became suspicious of Loid, but the latter was able to throw him off the track. But the seed of suspicious was planted nonetheless. In this case, even if Damian continues to think Anya was lying, a seed of suspicion may have been planted in him too that could come into play much later on. We'll see!

But besides this big event, a few other notable things in this chapter was super rare soft Damian from the above page. This continues to prove what I've always thought - that Damian acts the way he does to appear "proper" in front of his peers, but when he's alone with Anya, his real feelings seep out. She's a rare person where he doesn't feel the need to put on airs around.

We also got more Henderson x Martha crumbs. Love to see it.

Also loved to see Anya getting cocky and Loid freaking out about it 😅

Overall, even though I'm not as into Damianya as I am Twiyor, I still enjoy seeing their progress, and this chapter was definitely one of the most Damianya-chapters of all~ Despite some of the "dance with Damian" challenges being a bit too silly for my taste (like, how did Emile and Ewen organize all that last minute?) the payoff at the end was worth it! Loid and Yor better get themselves together or their daughter will end up beating them in the romance department 😂

[reallyromealone]

This isn't a request but I'm brain rotting rn about imagining Emma is once again at a toman meeting with another 'girl' and Draken of course scolds her and is like "Don't go bringing your schoolmates to a gang meeting," but it's actually reader crossdressing and Mikey's new bf

Thank you, bye bye I had to tell somebody and I thought you would like it. 🤧

Title: cross dressing

Fandom: Tokyo revengers

Pairing: Mikey x reader

Warnings: slight au, male reader, cross dressing, fluff

Notes: made some slight alterations for the sake of hahas

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

Mikey was slightly annoyed as he heard his younger sister brought someone to a Toman meeting, the girl making friends at university and he often saw her friends when he got home from gang stuff or helping shinichiro with his shop on occasion.

What he wasn't expecting was (name) to be dressed in cute feminine clothes and a mini skirt, tucked flat-- Mikey chuckled silently to himself as he knew (name) probably regretted letting Emma get into drag racing shows. Draken scolded the girl as (name) glanced around and saw Mikey leaned back on his chair with his legs spread, slicked back blond hair showing off his tattoos as he winked before blowing out smoke from his cigarette.

(Name) And Mikey had recently begun dating, the blond initially hesitant when he learned Emma had a male friend and Draken nearly hostile at his girlfriend being so close to the cute boy but they quickly realized that (name) was not interested in Emma or any other girl.

What Draken didn't know was that Mikey immediately went on the hunt, practically popping up anywhere (name) was to flirt with him and eventually begin dating him.

So when the twenty-one year old saw his boyfriends bare thighs swished slightly by stockings and that cute skirt, (name) looked nervous at the look he gave him though... The Toman underlings who stood in position in the back garden of Toman headquarters didn't see the look as their boss being a horny bastard but instead saw it as annoyed.

To be fair, Mikey was incredibly hard to read.

"She can stay but she has to stay out of the way, we aren't responsible if she gets hurt" Draken sighed and kissed Emma's forehead as the blond girl beamed up at the tattooed man "thanks Kenny!" She said sweetly and the giant of a man grumbled but didn't say anything.

(Name) Sat with Emma quietly as they started their meeting, Emma and (name) chatting amongst themselves and working on a project, (name) explaining his half and what he was doing.

They didn't even notice the meeting end until Mikey wandered to them "oi" he said passively as (name) looked up confused and Mikey raised his hand, many members holding their breaths only for Mikey to grip (name)s neck and kiss him softly "what" Baji said confused, he was fully ready to get the cute girls number but seems Mikey got to her first.

"What's with the clothes? They look weird" he asked confused and mitsuya looked up from his laptop, working on business expenses that he will be sending to Koko later "Mikey! Don't tell a girl her clothes look weird! That's rude!"

"But (name) isn't a girl" Mikey said bluntly as he plopped beside (name) and draped himself over the other "I just made (name) wear girl clothes, he owed me a favor" Emma said sweetly "besides he looks cute! Don't judge my fashion Mikey!"

"Wait, she's a dude?" Pah said confused and (name) nodded "yeah "

"Wait why did Mikey kiss you?" Chifuyu was also confused, a group of grown ass men who ran a notorious gang and made illegal millions couldn't figure out was a relationship for the life of them.

"(Name)s my boyfriend" Mikey said bluntly, Draken connecting the dots fast.

That would explain why Mikey went to a specific apartment often.

And based on how he played with (name)s skirt...

He would be going back pretty damn soon.

[lees-chaotic-brain]

For You (Gojo x Reader)

What if you were sealed instead of Gojo?

CW: Shibuya Incident spoilers, angst, not canonically accurate (just roll with it for the plot it doesn't have to make complete sense), swearing, so much angst

Part Two | JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation

Gojo knew that you were strong. He wouldn't have fallen in love with you out of fear if he didn't trust completely in your ability to return to him.

But that was before.

Before the shell of someone the two of you once knew and loved appeared.

Before he allowed himself to be distracted for a split second.

Before you noticed what was happening and shoved him out of the way.

Before you stood in front of him, hands bound behind your back, body rendered immobile.

"Well, this is an interesting development."

Not-Suguru clapped his hands together.

"Oh well, this will do too. Actually, we just managed to nab the strongest's only weakness: his love."

"Who are you?"

You snarl, glaring at your former friend.

"Why, I'm Geto Suguru. Don't you remember me? I'm wounded."

"Bull. Shit."

All Gojo can do is stare blankly at you, and pray that this isn't happening. That one of his worst nightmares isn't playing out in front of him.

"I know damn well that Suguru would never go out of his way to hurt us. He may have hated non-sorcerers, but even at the end he held no hostility towards us. So I'll ask you again. Who are you?"

"Satoru."

Gojo jumped a little, but quickly smoothed his expression over as you used one of your techniques to communicate telepathically with him.

"You need to run."

No! He wanted to scream. There has to be another option.

You continue taunting and yelling at the creature inhabiting your friend's body, and Gojo realizes that you are desperately stalling for time.

"Listen, I know you don't want to. But right now, you can't do anything for me without putting yourself in serious danger. I'm expendable."

Not to him, you aren't. For you, he would tear apart the world with his bare hands. For you, there wasn't a risk he wouldn't take. He has to find a way out of this. For you. Because there was no world where you were fucking expendable to him.

"You need to run! Now! I don't know how much time you have, but I know you can make it outside. You are the strongest after all. Run. Regroup with the others."

He knows that what you are saying makes logical sense, but he still can't wrap his mind around it.

Then you spoke again.

"No one should be allowed to take youth away from young people. That's what we agreed, right? So go. Do it for our kids. Protect their youth. For them. For our dream. For me."

Quietly, oh so quietly, he says something.

"I'm scared."

He admits, so quiet you can scarcely hear him.

"I'm not."

Your tone is gentle and loving.

"You aren't abandoning me forever. This is only temporary. I know that no matter what happens, you will get me out of here. Not because you're the strongest or anything. Because you love me, and I love you. And nothing can keep us apart, 'kay?"

Moving as much as your restraints would allow you, you turn your head the tiniest bit so you can look at him.

"Go. Go save our kids. I believe in you. I'll see you soon my love."

Holding back tears, Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer alive did the unthinkable.

Turning away from you and speeding up and out of the train station was the hardest thing he ever did, and will ever do.

But he did it.

For your many (unofficially) adopted children.

For your shared dream.

For you.

Always for you.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

This physically pained me to write, but it was taking up WAY too much of my brain space lol. Let me know what you think, and feel free to send in any requests you have!

[patscorner]

FAMILY DINNER

Summary: Chris joins your family for dinner for the first time and it does not go as planned

Tw: Swearing, narcissistic dad, verbal arguing, panic attack mentions of alcohol use, mentions of ed(NO DETAIL), lmk if I missed something

______________________________

"Baby, it'll be fine. I'm sure they're not so bad." Chris spoke. It was 6:45, and you and Chris were heading to a family dinner. After you and him had started dating, him, his brothers, and your family have been begging to meet one another.

But you knew better. You knew your dad couldn't hold his tongue, and you knew your mom couldn't hold back her comments about how you sat, how you spoke, how you looked. You knew your brothers and your sisters knew how to mess with you, not enough to make you cry, but just enough to piss you off.

"Chris, you have no idea." You say, leg bouncing nervously as you both sat in the back seat of the van. You only agreed to go if Matt and Nick came with, knowing that Chris wasn't going to be able to keep his temper in check.

"Don't worry, y/n, it'll be okay. It's not like any of us are gonna provoke them. They don't have any reason to hate us." Matt chimed in from the drivers seat. Chris squeezed your thigh reassuringly.

"It's not you guys that I'm worried about." You muttered, biting your nails. You just hoped your dad didn't have much to drink tonight.

"Plus, we're youtubers, a little back handed comment isn't gonna affect us." Nick smiled triumphantly.

Boy, were they in for a treat.

____

After what felt like 2 minutes, Matt parked the car in front of your childhood home. You've dreaded this moment ever since you and Chris started dating. You knew the time would come, but you just ignored it and pushed it back as far as you could. But eventually, everyone became impatient, and you were pushed out of your comfort zone.

Chris wasn't prepared. None of them were because nothing could prepare them for what they were getting into. Growing up with 2 older brothers, a younger brother, and 2 younger sisters, you knew just how quick it could turn hostile. You knew how it could be peaceful one moment, and the next, 2 people are driving off, 3 are crying, and one is smashing plates.

It could get ugly quick. Mostly, you were able to hide most of your family troubles from Chris, only occasionally giving him bits and pieces. This was completely different. This was a full view of what and where you grew up, and if anything was off or revealed, Chris would be there to see. That scared the shit out of you.

And Chris knew that, so he didn't push, no matter how eager he was. He never pushed you to do anything that made you uncomfortable. This, though, meant a lot to him, so he did voice his opinion.

So here you were, standing outside of the home you grew up in, with your boyfriend and his triplet brothers. You take a deep breath before knocking.

Here we go.

You lean back into Chris, who's hand found home around your waist, squeezing gently. He kissed the crown of your head, whispering, "Relax, baby, we got this."

You nod as you hear the lock turn and the door open. Your oldest brother, Peter, who was 26, stood in front of you. He looked much different from the last time you'd seen him, which was like 2 years ago.

Last time you two were together was at Christmas when your dad decided to get plastered the morning of Christmas and destroyed everyone's presents. Thousands of dollars down the drain. You swallowed at the memory.

"C'mere kid." Was all Peter said before engulfing you into a long needed hug.

You melted into your brothers touch. "It's been too long. Way too long." You mumble against his chest.

When you pull away, you see tears in Peter's eyes. You slap his chest playfully, "Oh, you big baby, don't cry."

He laughs, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. You laugh and hold his hand.

Nick clears his throat, bringing your and Peter's attention to the three same face boys.

"Oh! Yeah, Peter, meet my boyfriend, Chris, and his older brothers, Matt and Nick." You say, moving out of the way for the men to exchange greetings and hand shakes.

"I'd like to apologize in advance, I'm definitely gonna have trouble telling you guys apart." Peter laughs.

"Oh, don't worry about it. It happens all the time." Matt reassures. Nick and Chris nod in agreement.

"Okay, well, Dad's at the store - thank God -" He interrupted himself, putting his hands together and looking up, earning a chuckle from you, "but everyone else, excluding Cam, is here."

Your heart drops at his sentence. Your second oldest brother, Cameron, hadn't been to a family gathering since he moved out. You can't say you blame him, knowing your family, you wish you'd had the heart to leave too. It was still disappointing, despite how much you understood. Cam and you had always been the closest growing up, and your heart ached, knowing the rest of your family ruined that bond for you two. You and him were only 2 years apart, him being 22, and you being 20.

You knew you shouldn't have expected him to magically appear, but you were hopeful.

"That's okay. Let's go inside, I want them to meet the rest of the dumbasses." You say, trying to hide the disappointment, and it mostly worked, but when you turned around, you knew Chris knew.

He always knew.

You smiled at him and grabbed his hand, leading him into your house, gesturing Matt and Nick to follow.

Peter leads everyone down the hallway, the sound of playful yelling sounding from the living room. Peter took a left, walking into the room, smiling widely.

"Guess who's here!" He says happily, turning around to you, who stands in the doorway, smiling widely.

James, Maya, and Julia, your younger siblings, looked up and smiled widely.

"Y/nnnn!" Maya yelled, getting up and hugging you tightly. "Woah! Hey, hi baby." You say, smiling into her head.

Maya was the youngest, at 11 years old. She was the peacemaker, no matter how demanding, she probably had the best communication skills out of everyone. Which is saying something, she's 11.

"Alright, alright, save some for us." You look up and see your youngest brother, James, standing next to Julia, waiting their turn for a hug.

You let go of Maya and walk over to the 15 year old twins and embrace them tightly. God, how you missed them. This hug was shorter, only because your mother spoke up.

"Well, finally! What took you guys so long?" She asked, rolling her eyes. You break the hug, sighing heavily.

"Hi, mom. I'm happy to see you, too. Uh, this is Chris and his triplet brothers, Matt and Nick." You say, lifting your hand, gesturing towards the three men.

You smile as your siblings exchange greetings with the triplets, just as Peter did, happy that they were in a good mood. You turn back to your mom, who has a strange look on her face.

"What?" You ask, confused, sitting down on the couch next to her. "I thought you were only bringing your boyfriend? Or are you dating all three?"

Your eyes shoot to hers, a look of disgust covering your face. "What-Mom, no! Matt's talking to someone and Nick..." You cut yourself off, debating whether or not telling you mom about Nick's sexuality. It's not that your mom was homophobic, she just wasn't exactly open to it. You knew that if you told her, she'd figure out a way to make an untimely and out of pocket comment about it.

"Nick...?" Your mom gestures you to continue speaking.

You open your mouth to speak, but you hear the front door open. Oh shit. The party has started.

"Dad's here!" Maya shouts, running to the door. Chris sat down on the couch next to you, Matt and Nick next to him.

You notice Nick talking to Julia about her favorite music artists, and it looks like their having a good time. Peter and Matt seem to be getting along, while Chris and James talk about the most recent Celtics game.

Despite all the calm conversations going on around you, you can't help but feel nervous. Your dad's here, which puts everyone, at least on your side, on high alert, making sure they tiptoe on their words.

Chris notices you tense up and place his hand on your thigh, which you reach and squeeze his hand, not for his sake, but for yours.

Your dad walks in and freezes for a moment. It was a long moment, long enough for everyone to notice his presence and get silent. You and him stare at each other, not breaking eye contact for a minute.

Finally, after the deafening silence, you decide to speak. "Hey, dad." You breathe.

His shocked face turns into a soft smile. "Hey, kiddo, c'mere." You smile softly, cherishing the peace while it lasts. You stand up and walk over to your dad and embrace him. You knew what he was capable of, but you also knew how much he loved you and your siblings.

You could be mad at him all you wanted, but he's still your dad. "I missed you, y/n." He mutters into your head. You smile into his chest because as much as you hated to admit it, you missed him too. When he wasn't drunk or being an ass, he was a pretty awesome person.

You pull away, and he kisses your cheek before gesturing to the audience behind you. "And who are these fine gentlemen?" He asked.

You smiled. "That one's Chris, my boyfriend, and those are his triplet brothers, Nick and Matt." You say, gesturing to the boys, who wave as their introduced.

"Nice to meet you all, especially you, Chris." He smiles sarcastically. Here we go.

Suddenly, his demeanor changed. His shoulders tensed, and his fist clenched. You look at him curiously and wonder what flipped the switch, what pissed him off this time.

Chris smiles kindly. "Nice to meet you, too, sir."

Your dad nods before glancing at you and looking up again. "Dinner should be ready. How's everyone feel about spaghetti?" He clapsed his hands together.

He earns a collective 'yes' from everyone before picking up Maya in his arms and carrying her to the kitchen. Everyone stands up and begins to follow, except for you and Chris. He grabs your hand and pulls you closer to him.

"You okay, ma?" He asked. He must've noticed your demeanor change from happy and cheery to suspicious and confusion.

You nod your head hesitantly, still thinking about how quickly your father changed his mind about being kind. "Uh... yeah, yeah, I'm okay." You say softly.

He looks at you curiously. "Are you sure?" You nod again. "Yeah, let's go eat."

____

Quiet chatter amongst the families began at the dinner table, after everybody had gotten food. You noticed your anxiety seemingly grow stronger as the dinner continued. Nothing had happened yet, and that's what scared you.

Your leg bounced under the table, and despite Chris's attempts to soothe you by rubbing your thigh, nothing seemed to work. Even Chris's touch seemed to be too much, too overwhelming.

You feel your breathing catch in your throat, and suddenly, the gentle chatter becomes too overwhelming. The scraping of the forks echoed loudly in your ears as your hands started to sweat.

You stand up abruptly, catching the attention of all three triplets and James.

"Excuse me." You muttered before rushing to the bathroom and closing the door.

You curl into a ball, breathing heavily as tears fall from your eyes. You weren't having a panic attack yet, but if you didn't get your breathing in check, you'd get one soon.

You list off things in your head, things that make you happy. Sunshine, Chris, dogs in clothes, Chris, Sour Patch Kids, Chris

Speaking of which, you hear the door open, and you force yourself to look up, seeing your loving boyfriend. He got down on your level, taking your hand and putting it on his chest.

You catch on quickly, taking breaths that match his, well, kinda. Yours are shakier, but you're getting there. "It's okay, baby, you're okay. Shhh.." Chris whispers, his other hand rubbing your back.

You sigh as you finally take a deep breath of air, leaning your head against Chris's shoulder as he hands rub shapes on your back.

"It's okay, baby, you're stressing yourself out. It'll be okay." He whispers as he stands up and pulls you up with him.

He embraces you once again as you sniffle into his hoodie. You pull back and wipe your face aggressively, laughing quietly.

Chris cups your face, wiping your tears before pressing a kiss so soft, it was almost ghostlike, on your lips. You smile at him.

"Thank you, baby." You say rubbing his bicep in appreciation. He smiles down at you, kissing your forehead. "Of course, baby. I love you. Are you ready?"

You nod, and Chris opens the door, hand in yours as you all walk back into the dining room. Most conversations continued, but you noticed your dad and mom talking quietly amongst themselves, and it didn't look pleasant.

Your dad's eyes shoot to yours as he chuckles darkly.

Fuck. This can't end well.

"And what the fuck were you two doing?"

You smile, trying to swallow your fear. You notice Chris squeeze your hand, and you squeezed back in reassurance.

"Just had to take a breather. It's all good now, though, don't worry." You say as you and Chris sit down. You hope it's enough to satisfy your dad's curiosity, but unfortunately it's not.

"So you and him didn't just fuck in the bathroom." You freeze. Every conversation stops immediately at those words, as he wasn't quiet about it.

"What- dad, no. Why would you say that?" You sputter as a pink hue comes over your face. You glance at Chris, who's just as shocked as you.

"Sir, I'd never do that, especially here." Chris says calmly, but you can tell that one comment pissed him off completely.

Your dad stares at you both as a silence covers the room like a weighted blanket. Just when the tension seems to reach its peak, your dad speaks up.

"Good. Now, let's eat." He says, passing the food to you.

Jesus, this is gonna be a long night.

______________________________

Part 2 is coming soon.

@sturnioloblogs @y0urm4m @sturniolosmind @thenickgirl @muwapsturniolo @matthewsmocktailss-deactivated2 @breeloveschris @worldlxvlys @freshloveforthefit @miloisdone1 @vanteguccir @annamcdonalds67 @freshsturns @rootbeerworshiper @matty-bear @orangelala

[chronicdisasterwrites]

gotta keep these kids on leashes

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader, geto suguru, shoko ieiri (gojo’s past arc)

genre + warnings: - MAJOR FLUFF !! alooot of swearing, smoking, sexual jokes, mention of grandparents doing it (lmao you gotta read it to understand), reader wants to murder the bois, suguru wants to die, everybody is CRAZY!

word count: 3,350 (rip)

summary: OKAY i wrote it. the dynamic quartet is back doing... nothing good. suguru gets hit on, the three losers do crazy stuff and surprisingly no one dies (shocker) :0

enjoy this tomfoolery <3

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the curses are dying and you're not the one doing the killing, your head isn't pounding and your bed is so, so soft. Your window is slightly parted so the cool breeze is making the curtains dance and your skin prick. Nuzzling your head on the plush pillow and pulling your blanket higher so only your head is visible, you open your eyes, check the time, remember you have no classes, smile to yourself and dive back into the warm embrace that is sleep. 

Until the tranquil atmosphere is disrespectfully shattered by the idiots you call your ‘friends’.

Your door is kicked open and the sudden sound was enough to make you jump and reach for your katana leaning against the bedside table. Your vision is blurry but your katana is half unsheathed as you contemplate killing the two perpetrators. 

“Yeesh, you're hostile in the morning,” Satoru grins as he kneels on the ground and rests his obnoxiously large head on his obnoxiously large palms on the foot of your bed, like some petulant child who broke a vase and is now being their best self to appease their parents. “Nice bedhead,” his grin gets exponentially larger and your hand twitches against the hilt of your katana.

“I told you we should've knocked. You never listen, Satoru,” Suguru sighs as he walks through the gap that used to be your door. 

Your morning is thoroughly fucked. The birds are dead, the curses are in your room, your head feels like it will explode and there are tiny fragments of wood all over your bed. 

Your jaw clenches and eyes darken as you fully unsheathe your katana with the pure intention of murdering these morons. 

“I will give you 10 seconds to run and hide.”

“Aw c’monnn,” Satoru’s obnoxious voice drawls as he attempts to pat your head, but before your blade had the chance to amputate his wrist, Suguru’s hand held Satoru’s away from you; therefore preventing a major bloodshed from occurring. Ever the mediator.

“Okay I think we pissed her off enough, Satoru,” Suguru says calmly as Satoru pouts with a small “Aw man”. Suguru lets go of Satoru’s hand as he slowly takes the katana from your hands and puts it into its scabbard. Releasing a breath he places his hand on your head and gently smooths down your wild mane. 

He drawls your name and you look at him with furrowed brows and a deep scowl. 

He chuckles, “We’re gonna have a day out and you can get all the mochi and pancakes your heart desires. Our treat, for ruining your sleep and…” he looks at the desecrated door, “…your door.” You hear Satoru whine about why you let Suguru touch your hair and not him and choose to ignore it.

He smiles when he sees the glint in your eyes at the mention of mochi and pancakes and your scowl gets smaller and brows get straighter. You sigh and get up off the bed, “Fine. I have to get dressed so get out.”

“Don’t be late, mochiii~ we’ll be waiting.” He manages to dodge the hairbrush you throw at his head perfectly as he jumps up to run out of the room while giggling like a schoolgirl.

Suguru laughs as he follows his dumbass friend out and you look at your completely fucked door, wondering what you did to deserve this. 

—-

“Can you shut up, please? I'm begging at this point,” Your voice is tired and your eyes are glaring holes into the brunette’s head as she laughs and chortles into oblivion. 

“They- broke your- they broke your door-” more laughter. “Dude this is a comedy-” more laughter and snorting. “comedy- gold-” Shoko slaps the table and wheezes as various strangers stare at the two of you and mutter among themselves with concerned faces.

You silently poke at your half-eaten cheesecake as you try to forget the events of the morning and ignore the moron sitting before you. 

“Why didn't they torment you like that?” you grumble as you cut up the poor cheesecake with your fork and turn it into mush.

Shoko takes heaving breaths and sniffles as she takes a sip of her matcha latte and drags her chair forward. Her voice is light and thoroughly amused, “Because I'm not fun to tease. You, on the other hand, are the best person to tease,” her lips tilt up to a grin as she stirs her drink with her straw.

You stare at her with dead eyes. “I hate you,” you deadpan.

“Yeah, I love you too,” her grin gets wider and a few chuckles escape her as she bites on her straw.

The mall was pretty packed considering it was the weekend. Pretty girls window shopping and checking out people with their pretty friends. Couples walking around holding hands and laughing at each other's jokes. It was fun to watch them live their lives, as you lived yours. You wish you wore one of your cute, normal outfits instead of your uniform, just for today. But as you look down at your uniform, you appreciate it more. This uniform got you through some crazy times. Some near deaths, some deaths, a lot of blood. You feel comfortable in it, and it doesn't look completely awful. 

Suddenly, you hear your name and Shoko’s name being yelled at in the distance and you both look at each other apprehensively and look around the little open cafe you were in. You quirk an eyebrow at Shoko and she shrugs, but then the sound of Satoru’s obnoxious voice yelling both of your names cuts through the chatter of the crowd and you both look to the side to see him running toward your table at full-speed screaming like an idiot. The moment he reaches your table he slams both hands down and heaves and wheeze as people stare at you with genuine concern.

“What the hell?! I've been looking everywhere for you two,” Satoru yanks Shoko’s matcha latte from her hands despite her “Hey!” of protest and makes a scrunched-up, disgusted face upon inspecting the bitten straw. He proceeds to open the plastic lid, chug the remaining latte, crumple up the cup into a tiny ball using his Limitless technique and drop it on the table for you and Shoko to gawk at. 

He then looks at your cheesecake-turned-paste concoction and makes another face of pure disgust. “Can't you losers eat properly? Jeez,” he complains as he takes your plate and finishes the cheesecake mutation in two bites.

“Satoru…” you sigh for the umpteenth time that day, as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“What do you want?” Shoko completes for you with her nonchalant voice as she rummages her purse for her pack of cigarettes. At this point, you know you need one too.

He makes wild arm gestures like a cheerleader for every word he utters, “Suguru. Is. Getting. Hit. On.”

Your face is unimpressed and Shoko says “Aha” while holding up a pack of cigarettes.

Satoru visibly deflates as a look of pure shock crosses his face at the shameless nonchalance you both are portraying.

“Okay. So?” you shrug as you pick at your nails with your teeth.

Satoru pulls your hand down and holds it there as he leans down and gawks at you with his jaw dropped and furrowed silver brows. 

“No, no. This is serious. Suguru is getting hit on and we're wasting time,” he stares into your eyes and you can see your reflection in the dark glass of his sunglasses. You bring up your free hand to fix your hair using his sunglasses as a mirror and something in his head cracks as he jolts up, grabs Shoko’s hand, and pulls you both towards the scene of the crime. You both scramble to take your purse and you leave more than enough money on the table before being dragged away by a tall, crazy man.

“Listen up. We are going to embarrass the shit outta him, okay?” He's walking faster as he makes his way out of the air-conditioned mall towards the outdoor food court. You and Shoko are reluctantly following him as you honestly have nothing better to do and you can't lie; embarrassing Suguru sounds really fun. 

“Roger that, sir,” you do a mock salute and hear Satoru chuckle. “What's the plan?” 

“You two will attack first. Shoko you gotta be as scary as possible and-” Satoru’s master plan phase-1 was interrupted by Shoko asking a tangible question. Or actually; questions.

“How scary? Can I slap him? Can I throw water on his face? Should I cry?”

Satoru groans and starts walking even faster. “Okay, you can do all of that, but remember your role is the ‘cheated girlfriend’, alright? You're mad but sad. Mad and sad.”

You hear Shoko mutter “okie” right as Satoru says your name, “You can act as the ‘cheated wife’ or something. Cry, latch onto him, beg him. Go crazy,” he throws a sly grin over his shoulder and you're concerned about the evil lilt his voice took when he said the word ‘crazy’.

“And what about you? What's your role?” you ask as you feel him slow down. You look ahead and see Suguru talking with a pretty woman with long, straight black hair. Satoru stops, steps behind you and Shoko, and says with his usual cocky demeanor, “You’ll see, Lil' Mochi,” and doesn't give you the chance to complain about the nickname as he shoves you both towards the victim of ‘Satoru’s Master Plan Phase-1’.

You and Shoko look at each other with devilish grins as you activate your inner drama queens and launch yourselves toward one unaware, unprepared Geto Suguru.

You gasp and squeal with a shaking hand against your open mouth, “Oh my- Geto Suguru?! How dare you! Especially now- how could-” You choke on a fake sob and place your palm on your stomach as Suguru slowly turns back with wide eyes and a bulging vein on his temple. 

“While I'm pregnant with YOUR CHILD?! You're inhuman!” you fall to your knees fake crying your heart out as you cover your face with both palms and try your hardest to not break character.

You hear gasps all around you and the sound of Suguru stuttering, and you wonder if you overdid it.

You then feel someone lift you with their hands on your arms. You glance to see Shoko acting all ‘mad and sad’ as you fall into her arms and fake cry some more.

“It's okay, I understand,” she pats your head with her soft hands and spits fake venom at an even more bewildered Geto Suguru. “He tricked me too. He was cheating on you with me first, you know?” You crank up the fake crying upon hearing this and you feel Shoko’s chest shake and you feel your concentration slipping.

Shoko nudges your head and you look at her with completely dry eyes, as you keep clutching your completely baby-less stomach. Shoko pulls out two water bottles and hands you one. She nods at you and you nod at her. You both look at Suguru and he looks like he just watched his dead grandmother have sex with his dead grandfather or something. He looks aghast. You and Shoko walk towards him and Shoko steps ahead of you as you wait your turn.

“This is for cheating on me, you spineless pig! Even though I was cheating on you too!” she declares as she drenches Suguru in cold water. You hear more gasps and you see the woman he was previously talking to blanch with wide eyes and a slacked jaw. Suguru stands completely still as his bangs drip with water and his left eye twitches in pure rage.

Well, it's your turn. You step up and stare him down and fear for your life when Suguru stares back at you with a dangerous look in his eyes. You gulp down your fears and put on the bravest face you can muster, “And this is for breaking my heart and my hymen! And you weren't even that good!” For the added effect you choke on a fake sob after the last sentence and dowse him in some more cold water. You hear a bark of laughter from the crowd and you huff and hold onto Shoko as you both slowly step away from him as his cursed energy slowly grows and grows. Suguru drags his hand down his face and flicks his wrist splattering water by his side when you hear an obnoxiously loud scoff followed by an even louder voice.

“Can you stop your cryin’? It's hurting my ears,”

Satoru stands there looking like a full-on trophy wife, left arm stacked with shopping bags and right hand on his hip. Dazzled in a silver satin shirt; he definitely wasn't wearing before, with the top buttons open and sunglasses perched on his head, giving the crowd a clear view of his glittering sapphire eyes and very open chest. 

You and Shoko gape at him in horror and you both look back at Suguru who looks like he might just explode. His uniform is soaked, his front hair is sticking to the side of his face, and his eyes just about look like they do when he’s fighting curses, except now they look unmerciful.

“Sugu, I'm done with my shopping. How about we go look at some furniture now, hm? ” Satoru slings the shopping bags over his shoulder and sends Suguru just about the sultriest look you've ever seen his face make. 

You glance at Shoko and she glances back, and you both bite your lips to stop yourselves from spiraling into a peal of uncontrollable laughter. 

Suguru seems to have had enough, as his eyes glazed over and he turns around to face the downright terrified lady. 

“You seem nice, but I have some…” Suguru pauses, rethinks his sentence, and continues with a curt nod, “Well, take care.”

He gives her the sweetest, fakest smile as she returns a smile that looks more like a grimace and turns away. She looks back again and sees you and Shoko clutching onto each other for dear life, Suguru still smiling at her with a twitching eye and veins popping on his temple and neck, and Satoru spinning around swishing his shopping bags and singing Suguru’s name like a prayer, and quickly walks away. 

The crowd slowly dissipates as you, Shoko, and Satoru stand in silence and Suguru slowly turns around, smile gone, and eyes narrowed, “You idiots… are lucky I didn't like her.”

You break first, and then Shoko, and soon the two of you are shaking each other, rolling around and laughing like absolute menaces. Satoru chortles seeing Suguru’s unimpressed poker face and walks up to him, placing the shopping bags down on the floor.

“C’mon it was funny and besides, we saved your ass. She seemed so boooring,” Satoru drawls and gags.

Suguru exhales as he closes his eyes and the muscle in his jaw twitches. Satoru finds a chink in his armor and grins. He's gonna break.

Satoru laughs and throws his arm around his best friend's shoulder and calls out to you and Shoko.

You two wheeze and try to catch a breath as you see Suguru’s serious face on the verge of breaking.

“Suguru, for the record, I thought she was really pretty,”

You voice your opinion with an innocent smile and Satoru facepalms. 

Shoko giggles and shoves you, “That doesn't help, you idiot.” 

You throw your head back and laugh, “I dunno dude, I think I lost a bunch of brain cells after that performance.”

“Not like you had any to begin with, Mochiii ~” Satoru mocks and you launch yourself at him as you both run around Suguru, you yelling profanities at Satoru and Satoru chanting “Mochi” and laughing like the actual spawn of the devil. 

Suguru finally cracks. Resting his hands on his knees, he bends down and laughs freely, uninhibited; like a child. Shoko smiles and takes out two cigarettes from the pack she safely kept in her uniform pocket. She puts one between her strawberry lips and taps Suguru on his drenched head with her knuckles. Suguru looks up, his laughter subsiding, and accepts the outstretched cigarette held between Shoko’s fingers. He places it between his lips as he rummages his pockets for his little orange lighter. Finding it, he lights his cig and holds it in front of Shoko, as she lights her one. They stand next to each other and smoke their cigarettes while watching Satoru teleport behind you as he grabs you by the waist and spins you around. The sound of his cackling and your screaming fades into the background as Shoko asks, “You think they’ll ever tell each other?”

Suguru leans his head back and blows smoke into the sky. As people start filing out of the food court, you and Satoru were the only rambunctious morons making all the noise in the entire area. He looks at the scene unfolding before him; your head is locked between the junction of Satoru’s arm as his knuckles attack you with fierce noogies. You’re giggling while flailing around like a fish out of water as you try to shove him away but to no avail. Suguru huffs a laugh and takes another drag of his half-smoked cigarette, “Maybe, but not without help.” He nudges Shoko’s shoulder with his own and gives her a devilish grin. Shoko chuckles and stubs out her cig on the sole of her shoe, “What were you thinking? Push their faces together or ask Yaga Sensei to assign them on a joint mission?” She snorts, “That’d be something.”

Suguru hums. He stubs the cigarette butt on the ground and puts it in his pocket and says grinning cheekily, “Nah, I was thinking something more ridiculous. Something fit for two morons of their caliber.” 

Shoko quirks an eyebrow and shakes her head with a smile, “Alright.”

You manage to escape Satoru's iron-clad grip after much effort. You boot him on his shin and make a run toward Shoko, tackling her in a massive bear hug. Shoko reciprocates the hug and you two waddle around conjoined like two baby penguins. 

“Ow! That hurt!” Satoru limps toward Suguru and leans on him with his arm on his shoulder while Suguru does a hand-clapping motion. He receives a flick on the cheek from Satoru for that. 

“That was literally the point, stupid,” you flip him off as he returns the very thoughtful gesture. You both chuckle and Suguru and Shoko send each other cheeky looks.

“Don’t think this is over, by the way,” Suguru says with a vengeance as he flicks you and Shoko on the forehead, to which you both reply with a small “ow”.

“I will get you all back for this. And it won't be pretty,” he ends his threat by flicking Satoru on the forehead; to which he replies with a whiny “I'm already injured, maaaan”.

“Bring it on, champ,” you grin and smack him on his back as you finally release Shoko as you pick up the shopping bags and swing them by your sides. Satoru joins you and takes a few off your hands as you all make your way out of the mall. The golden light marks your path with an incandescent glow. Time flies by incredibly fast when you’re with these children. It's scary, but at the same time, it's humbling. Being with them makes you want to live. They inspire you and drive you to reach greatness. They also make you want to store these precious moments into unbreakable vials or freeze time so you never have to leave. Nothing would go wrong, it would just be the four of you, through thick and thin, through blood and dust, through life and death. But you know you’re smarter than that. However, for today, you'll let yourself dream a little.

“So, how about some KFC?”

——————————————————————————-

a/n: not another slow-burn, pining, friends to lovers situation w satoru and reader whoops-

tagged: @porridgesblog, @stray-npc

[loriache]

Kabru, impossible mutual understanding & unknowable objects

Despite his concerted and constant efforts to understand other people, it’s established in a few extras that Kabru believes that true mutual understanding between certain different races is impossible. Specifically, between long-lived and short-lived races, and between humans and demi-humans. Partially, we can trace this conviction back to specific hang-ups caused by his life; the trauma of the Utaya disaster, prejudices he carries from his childhood, and his experience of racism among the elves. In this “little” essay, I’m gonna discuss how I think those experiences formed this belief, how it comes out in his actions, and how some of his actions seem to contradict it. The question of whether it’s possible to reach mutual understanding with other living beings despite our differences is one of the core themes of the manga, and I’ll also touch on how this aspect of Kabru’s character links to that.

Seeking understanding

Kabru is a character who devotes a huge amount of time and effort to understanding people, and he is very good at it. In his internal monologue, we can tell how advanced and complex his skills of analysis are. He is able to read a huge amount of information just from looking at people's faces and body language.

People are, to him, what monsters are to Laios. This is something that's been expanded on at length in other, excellent meta. It's the fact that they're foils; it's the fact that Kabru is also very easy to read as autistic, with a special interest which is the opposite and parallel of Laios'. It's something that came out of trauma and alienation, as Laios' special interest in monsters also began as a coping mechanism.

The complicated origin of this "love" for monsters and for people comes through, I think, in the fact that one of the places we see both characters use their fixation is in being very, very good at killing the thing that they love. This also ties into the idea that loving something isn't even remotely mutually exclusive with using it to sustain your own survival; using it for your own purposes; hurting it or killing it. Love can be, and often is, violent, possessive and consumptive. This understanding is part of what makes Kui's depiction of interpersonal relationships so compelling to me.

While Laios fixated on monsters and animals to seek a place of escape, in both his imagination and his self-image, from the humans who he couldn't understand and who couldn't understand him, Kabru seems to have fixated on understanding people in order to navigate the complex, socially marginal places that he has been forced into throughout his life. As an illegitimate child raised by a single mother with an appearance that marked him out as different to the point his father's family wanted to kill him, and a tallman child raised among elves who didn't treat him as fully human and wanted him to perform gratefulness for that treatment – treatment that, after he met Rin at age 9, he certainly always understood could be a lot worse – his ability to work out what people wanted from him, whether they were friendly or hostile or had ulterior motives, wasn’t just an interest. It will have been an essential skill.  

Milsiril, I think, was a flawed parent who tried to do her best by Kabru and did a lot of harm to him despite her best intentions. She may have treated him much better than an average elf would have, but like Otta and Marcille's mother, there are other elves with different outlooks on short-lived races. How would they judge her treatment of him? We don’t have any insight on what it could be, but to be honest, the person’s whose opinion of her I’d be most interested in knowing is Rin’s.

But even if she'd been perfect, living as an trans-racial adoptee in a deeply hierarchical nation with a queen who is a 'staunch traditionalist' who wouldn't even acknowledge the existence of a half-elf like Marcille (according to Cithis) is an experience that would deeply impact anyone.

Elves & Impossible mutual understanding

While Kabru was living with Milsiril - in other words, while living in the Northern Central Continent - he came to believe that "there was no way to achieve mutual understanding with the long-lived races."

This is evident in his political project: he wants short-lived races to have ownership over the dungeon's secrets. Despite his dislike of the Lord of the Island, he's a useful bulwark to stop the elves taking over. Despite his doubts about Laios, Laios needs to be the one to defeat the dungeon, because if he doesn't the elves will take over.

Kabru still carries a deep scar from Utaya, one that was exacerbated by the fact that he never got an answer to any of his questions about what happened or why. This, despite the fact that Milsiril knows about the demon and how it works. Do you think Kabru, with his social perceptiveness that borders on the superhuman, wasn't aware that she knew more than she would tell him?

Given that, the fact that he gets to a place where he "doesn't have any particularly negative feelings about [elves/long-lived species]" .... well, to put it bluntly, I believe that he thinks that's the case, but I kind of doubt it. After all, if he did have resentment, of Milsiril (someone who was his primary provider and caretaker since age six, and who despite her flaws, loves him and who I do think he loves) or of elves (who he has had to play nice with for most of his life, in order to survive, and will still have to play nice with in order to achieve his goals, since they hold all the power) what would that do except hurt him and make his life harder? Kabru is Mr. Pragmatic, so I don't think he'd let himself acknowledge any such feelings he did have. Exactly because he can't acknowledge them, they're well placed to get internalised as beliefs about the Fundamental Unchangeable Nature of the World.

However, these stated beliefs seem to contradict his actions. Despite his belief in the impossibility of forming a mutual understanding, he certainly seems to try to understand long-lived people, just as much as he does short-lived people. There's no noticeable difference between his treatment of Daya & Holm versus Mickbell & Rin that isn't clearly down to their relationship with him. His skills of human analysis were honed and developed while living amongst elves, and as soon as he's alone with Mithrun he immediately sets to understanding him - his interests, his motivations, his needs, and his past.

He treats him considerately and without bias, and despite the fact that Mithrun conquering the dungeon for the elves is both a reenactment of a core part of his childhood trauma and a political disaster for his aims, that doesn't seem to colour his perspective on Mithrun negatively at all.

This is something I find extremely laudable about Kabru, and it's another way he parallels Laios. He seems to understand that people, as a rule, (in Laios' case, he understands this about monsters - and eventually, all living beings) will act in their own interests, and if those interests conflict with yours, might harm you. But that's just their nature, and it's not something that should be held against them; you're also doing the same thing, after all. The crux of Laios' arc is precisely that he has to accept the responsibility of hurting someone else in order to achieve what he wants.

Kabru is deeply concerned with his own morals, what he should and shouldn't do, but mostly in the context of responsibility for the consequences - a responsibility he takes onto himself. He isn't scrupulous about what he needs to do in order to create the outcome he wants, but if he fails to create that outcome, then....

He blames himself to the point of thinking he should die. He doesn't blame Laios, or seem at all angry with him, despite concluding he should have killed him to prevent this outcome. That's because in his eyes, ultimately Laios was going to act according to his own nature, and it's Kabru's fault for not understanding that nature well enough. He's extremely confident in his ability to understand and predict others, (including elves and other long-lived people). Then, where does his conviction that mutual understanding is impossible come from?

Partially, it's the "mutual" part. I'm sure Kabru, who isn't able or willing to deny Otta's insinuation that Milsiril saw him more like a pet than a son, has felt that his full interiority, the depth of his feelings and his ability to grow, act, and think as a fully equal being, was something that the elves around him just couldn't grasp. Because that was their excuse for it, he came to understand this as a gulf between short-lived and long-lived beings, an inevitable difference in outlook caused by their different lifespans.

This experience might be part of what leads to his iconic “fake” behaviour. He trusts his ability to understand others, but if they aren’t able to understand him, then there isn’t any benefit to being honest about his feelings and thoughts. If his attempts to reach mutual understanding with his caretakers were never able to be fulfilled, then it isn’t any wonder that he reacts with such surprise and horror at blurting out his desire to be Laios’ friend.

In his experience, making yourself vulnerable in that way only leads to being hurt. Soothing him, hushing him, lying to him, talking to him like a child that isn’t able to use proper judgement – that’s an inadequate and deeply hurtful way to respond to genuine distress, the desire for autonomy, or disagreement. Ultimately, I think that’s why he comes out on the side of being grateful to Milsiril; because she did equip him with the skills and knowledge he’d need to reach his goal, and let him go.

Though he could understand them, they couldn't understand him. To the extent that was true - which I'm sure it was - it wasn't due to anything about lifespan. It was due to the elves’ racism, and the solipsitic mindset & prejudiced attitude that it caused them to approach him with.

Because, if it needs to be said, the idea that there is an unbreachable gap in understanding between the long-lived and short-lived species is not true. Marcille and Laios have a much greater difference in lifespan than any full elf from any short-lived person, and they’re able to understand each other – maybe not perfectly, but better than many other people who are closer in life-span to them.

That doesn’t mean that I think Kabru is wrong about this, however. Because there’s an interpretation of his statement that is reflected in his actions and is true. When he talks about his problem with elves, it’s not just their attitudes: it’s their power, and what they use it to do. They “explain nothing and take everything”. Though it’s presented in the guise of ‘guiding and protecting’, in fact it’s a simple case of a powerful nation using their military power, wealth, access to resources, and historically stolen land – including the island itself – to protect their own interests and advance their own agenda. That’s why they’d be able to show up, seize the dungeon, and forcibly take Kabru’s party and Laios’ party to the West. If Kabru wants to stop that from happening, or change that status quo, persuasion or a bid to be understood would be completely pointless. Between the political blocs formed by long-lived species and the interests of short-lived species, “mutual understanding”, given their current, unequal terms, would be impossible. This is something that we see reflected in Kabru’s actions; before he asks his questions about the dungeon, he grabs Mithrun as leverage. He never really attempts to persuade the canaries to see his point of view, because that would be pointless: they’re agents of the Northern Central Continent’s monarchy, and will act in its interests regardless of any individual relationship with him.  

I don’t think Kabru sees the different dimensions of this belief of his in quite such clear terms, however, as is evidenced by the other group who he thinks it’s impossible to communicate with.

Demi-Humans & Unknowable Objects

The other place that we see his conviction about the impossibility of mutual understanding is in the kobold extra.

I'm including the whole thing, because I think it's an excellent and clever piece of world-building. Aside from what it says about Kabru, which I'll expand on shortly, what this extra does is deconstruct and call into question the usual "fantasy ontological biology" present in these sort of DnD-like settings. Essentially, the kind of worldbuilding where a race (such as kobolds) can be described as war-like, and that's establishing something essential about their biological nature. That's common to the point that if Kui didn't include this, some people would probably come away thinking that's the case about, e.g., the orcs.

But here, despite what Kabru is saying, the information the reader actually gets is:

the conflict between short-lived humans and demi-humans such as kobolds is mostly over access to material resources that they need to survive.

These resources are scarce because powerful nations, such as the elves, have monopolised them.

Kabru, who has grown up in a place at the centre of these conflicts, ascribes essential, negative traits to a cultural group which was in direct conflict with his own. Communication with this other group is impossible; they aren't people, they're more like objects.

oh yes! just like this conflict between groups of tall-men, a conflict which the reader will immediately interpret as more clearly analogous to real-life racism. Our other protagonists also carry prejudices from growing up in a place where a marginalised group was in conflict with the dominant group over scarce resources. It's definitely impossible to communicate with these people, and you can only kill them.

Woah, when you say it like that, it sounds pretty bad!

But also, nobody walks away having had a realisation or unlearned their prejudices - because they don't have the tools they need to do that work. Yet. I do think, to an extent, it could happen - especially with Kabru, since it's suggested in the epilogue that Melini might become a safe-haven for demi-humans.

To focus in on Kabru, the key here is his statement that you should think of demi-humans as "unknowable objects". Even his extraordinary powers of understanding have seemingly hit a limit. Part of this is just inherited prejudice, and doesn't need to have a complicated psychological explanation, any more than the elves who were prejudiced against him need one.

But also... this is probably somewhat linked to the way demi-humans seem to be considered "pseudo-monsters". They're the place that the strict delineation between the human and the monstrous is permeated. Laios, who is not interested in humans, remembers and is excited by Kuro. Chilchuck and Laios argue over whether it's OK to eat a mermaid. Kabru's prepared to (pretend to) roll with the idea that Laios ate the orcs.

But these are people, aren't they? Of course, this is a social construction, as we see from the fact that in the Eastern Archipelago, the label of "human" is reserved for tallmen, but in most of the rest of the world it depends on some obviously arbirary classification based on number of bones; "demi-humans" aren't in any essential way monstrous, except to an extent in their appearance, and physical location - due to their marginal social status, they're pushed out to live in unsafe places such as dungeons.

Therefore, Kabru's view of demi-humans as fundamentally "other", unable to be understood - monstrous - could be read as akin to abjection, the psychoanalytical concept described by Julia Kristeva. In order to create a bounded, secure superego, that thing which permeates and calls into question the border between self and other, human and animal, life and death, is rejected and pushed to the margin.

“Not me. Not that. But not nothing, either. A "something" that I do not recognize as a thing.[...] On the edge of nonexistence and hallucination, of a reality that, if I acknowledge it, annihilates me. There, abject and abjection are my safeguards. The primers of my culture.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 11) “It is thus not lack of cleanliness or health that causes abjection but what disturbs identity, system, order. ” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 13) “The pure will be that which conforms to an established taxonomy; the impure, that which unsettles it, establishes intermixture and disorder. [...] the impure will be those that do not confine themselves to one element but point to admixture and confusion.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 107) (discussing food prohibitions in Leviticus)

This is both (due to its affinity with food-loathing and disgust) a very fruitful concept to apply to dunmeshi, and a psychoanalytical theory which I wouldn't exactly cosign as True Facts About Human Psychological Development. You may also know the abject from its utilisation in the classic essay "Horror and the Monstrous-Feminine" by Barbara Creed - that's a lot more approachable than Kristeva if anyone's interested.

Key here, though, is that through the symbol of the "demi-human" is embodied a step between "human" and "monster" - and that's a prospect that puts at risk the whole notion of an absolute separation between those two categories in the first place. To Laios, that's something wonderful, and to Kabru, it's terrifying. We can see this principle further embodied in the relationship both characters have with the notion of becoming monstrous.

To Laios, this is transcendent, and represents a renunciation of everything human - in fact, if it didn't, it wouldn't "count".

To Kabru, it's a deeply-held fear, established by his childhood alienation (due to his illegitimacy, his eyes, and perhaps also his neurodivergency), deepened by monster-related trauma and the sense of responsibility and survivors guilt he feels for what happened at Utaya. His identity as a human who is not monstrous is key to his sense of stability and safety; he doesn't want to touch monsters, he doesn't even want to see them.

To acknowledge a kinship, a possibility of similarity between the things he loves (humans) and the things he hates (monsters) would be more than touching them - it would be putting them inside him. We know, quite explicitly, that this notion is triggering to Kabru. He literally has what seems to be a flashback when he's about to eat the harpy omelette.

So he abjects it, classifying the demi-human as fundamentally unlike him - an unknowable object, or an object that he refuses to know. Because in understanding it, he would interject the things he hates and fears into his self, which is already, always under threat by that hated and feared object.

Of course, again, Kabru isn't very good at enacting this refusal in practice. For one, when he chooses between his desires and ingesting the feared object, eating monsters... he eats monsters. Part of this is treating himself badly, the "ends justify the means" mentality. His goal is to destroy all monsters, so if he needs to become monster-like to do that, he will. But part of it is also the other motivation that he didn't even seem to know about until he said it: he wants to become Laios' friend, and to learn from him how a person can like monsters. He wants, at least in some part of him, to reconcile the feared and hated object into something he can understand.

For another:

Kabru can speak the kobold language. In the first place, while this may have been common in Utaya, it also could have been something he chose to learn, an early expression of his interest in understanding and talking to all sorts of people. It isn't the kind of thing you learn if you believe that communication between yourself and the group that speak it is impossible, is it?

It's possible to harbour prejudices against a group while being kind to an individual, and given Kabru has those prejudices regardless of his reasons, that is what he is doing. But also, his treatment of Kuro doesn't reflect a sincerely held belief that he's an "unknowable object" at all. His approach is exactly the same as it is to any other person: an analysis of goal and motive, and an attempt to help if he's sympathetic and their goals align - going out of his way to give language and local knowledge lessons in secret. His conviction that Mickbell and Kuro will truly become friends when they can properly communicate is completely contradictory to any sense of demi-humans as fundamentally different, or impossible to reach mutual understanding with. To me, it seems like this self-protective shield against the corruptive force demi-humans as an idea present to his identity, this abjection, when Kabru is face-to-face with one, just simply can't hold up against his finely honed skill of intellectual empathy. Perhaps because he's autistic, it seems his "empathy" is less an emotional mirror response, and more a set of cognitive skills for analysis of others. That instinctual, emotional empathy might not trigger when presented with a member of an out-group, but if it’s possible for Kabru to turn his cognitive empathy off, we don’t see him do it.

This isn't to say that this prejudice doesn't affect his behaviour. For one, it could negatively impact his judgement of politics and policy, where individual people don't enter into it. For another, I'm not convinced he'd be willing to overlook Mickbell's exploitative relationship with Kuro if Kuro wasn't a kobold. As it is, since both of them are satisfied, he doesn't feel like he needs to intervene, regardless of the fact Mickbell isn't paying Kuro. But if Daya and Holm were in a relationship, and Holm took both Daya's and his own share from their ventures, but only compensated her in living expenses and kept the rest, do you think he'd tolerate it, for example? Even if she said it was OK?

Conclusion

The kelpie chapter establishes that "people can never know what monsters are really thinking." That isn't just true of monsters, though.

True mutual understanding is impossible - between anyone. We can never truly understand another person's heart. This is touched on in, for example, the existence of shapeshifters and dopplegangers. Even a monster that seemed like a perfect copy of a person wouldn’t be that person, and wouldn’t be a satisfactory replacement.

We’re intended, I think, to understand the winged lion's repeated suggestions to just replace people who have been lost with copies as something uncanny, which demonstrates the way that the winged lion never manages to attain a complete understanding of humans. A version of a person who was created to fulfil your memories of them, to be the person who you wanted them to be, would be a terrible, miserable thing.

Disagreeing, coming into conflict, and misunderstanding each other, are essential parts of what it means to be living beings, as fundamental as the need to eat.

The only thing to do is not to take more than you need to eat to survive, and not impose your own desires onto others. To do your best to sincerely communicate your desires, even if they're embarrassing or vulnerable or strange, like Kabru eventually does with Laios; like Laios does, bit by bit, with the people around him; like Marcille does, Chilchuck does, Senshi does... to hope they will accept you, and do your best to understand them in return.

We can re-examine, in that context, Kabru's line about the elves' tendency to "explain nothing and take everything".

They have the power to impose their preferred "menu" onto less powerful groups. And in that context, mutual understanding being impossible just means that they won't give up their power because they're asked nicely. Kabru's goal is to seize the truth that they won't give to him, and to create a situation where they can't take everything. Because he's accurately surmised that nothing about the treatment of short-lived races will change so long as the power imbalance remains. Despite the way he mistakenly ascribes part of that to "long-lived vs short-lived" or "human vs demi-human", the actual gulfs in understanding he identifies are structural, are about power and about access to material resources and safety.

I think he could come to recognise this. Yaad is teaching him political science after all, and while a prince's lessons on political science won't exactly get at much that's radical or invested in the interests and perspectives of the marginalised (Capital is a critique of for a reason after all...) I believe in Kabru's ability to learn critically and get more from a lesson than it was intended to teach.

[ihave-atummyache]

jealousy is a disease

SOMEONE MADE THE REQUEST FOR JEALOUS SKZ AND I CANT FIND IT

and they signed it with a little orange heart and i feel so bad.

im sorry annony idk what happened to it but😣😣 the general question was like what jealous sex with skz would be like and i wanted to do like a head cannon but then i got way carried away and just went ham.

ot8

11.5 k words (im sorry. im sick in the head)

NSFW!!!!! SMUT SMUT SMUT

reader lowk toxic asf, cheating, nasty nasty smut, just read it and find out👍🏽

Chan:

He isn't one to often get jealous. He is very secure in your relationship and knows that you only have eyes for him. So he is equally surprised when he finds himself getting jealous over your relationship with Changbin.

Maybe it was the fact that he was also jealous of Changbin for being able to spend time with you but, he found himself snapping one day when he calls you.

"Hey. What do you want for dinner later?" Chan's voice rings across the phone. He notices the loud noise in the background and realized you probably aren't at home. He also knows that you are definitely off of work today.

"Where are you?" He speaks up again before you can reply to his previous question.

"I'm at the mall with Binnie," you reply and Chan feels his jaw clenching against his will. He sits up in his seat and leans his elbows onto his knees.

"We can. Let's go in," your voice rings across the phone and he assumes you're talking to Changbin.

"Can you answer my question or are you too busy?" Chan's voice is short and impatient but you're too distracted to recognize any hostility in his tone.

"What was the question again?" You ask, a giggle leaving your mouth that was definitely not meant for him. This makes his blood boil even more at the fact that someone else was spending time with you and hearing your giggle first hand.

"Nevermind, y/n. I'll talk to you later," he grumbles and hangs up the phone before you can say much else. You pull the phone off your ear and blink down at it a couple of times before looking over to Changbin.

"Uh oh. I think someone is mad," Changbin speaks up before you can and you shake your head, shocked that Chan is showing any signs of jealousy.

"Channie! We're back!" You announce yourself as you walk into their dorm but get no response. You turn to Changbin and he shrugs at you.

"I know he's here. I checked his location when we pulled up," you mumble, sort of to yourself and sort of to Changbin. You make your way to your boyfriend's bedroom and don't bother knocking on the door, instead just pushing it open.

He's sat on his bed, scrolling through what you assume is social media on his phone. You drop the bags down next to the door and make your way over to the bed, straddling your boyfriend's thighs.

"I'm back," you mumble, wrapping your arms around his neck but he doesn't even spare you a glance, still focused on scrolling on his phone.

"I heard," he mumbles and you pout, twisting the hair at the nape of his neck. You look around the room and see that he seems to have actually been relaxing for once all day. There's no trace of his computer or messy scrawlings of music like there usually is.

"What did you do today?" you prompt him to speak to you, letting your hands travel to the back of his head and scratch at his scalp.

"Nothin'," he isn't even pretending that he wants to talk to you. You roll your eyes, pulling your body closer to him but he keeps his phone positioned between you.

"So you just sat here all day, counting the hours until I return?" you tease and he finally glances up at you, which you take advantage of and put on your best puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah, mate. I sat here bored while my girlfriend and best friend hung out without me," he drops his phone onto the bed next to him and crosses his arms over his chest. He falls back against the headboard, staring you down.

You reach forward and unfold his arms, which he lets you do, and you wrap them around your waist before you lean forward as wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your chest to his.

"Are you jealous, baby?" You ask and start playing with the tops of his ears, which are growing increasingly red at your question.

"N-no," he mumbles out and pulls you tighter against him, pressing you against him through his pants.

"Are you jealous because I stole Binnie or are you jealous because Binnie stole me?" You ignore his answer and a small pout makes its way to his plump lips.

"Don't call him Binnie," he whines and you can't help the laugh that falls from your lips. You lean forward and kiss the pout away.

"You're the cutest," you smile down at him before pressing another kiss to his lips. His arms tighten around you more and your body moves closer to him, grinding yourself down onto his bulge.

"Stop rubbing yourself against me. I'm supposed to be mad at you," he complains but his tight grip on you and his thumbs rubbing soothing circles offer a contrary action to his words.

"You don't have to be mad anymore, baby. It's okay to get a little jealous. I'm always jealous when I see you with anyone that isn't me," you shrug and he chuckles, pulling your hips against him again.

"I just don't like to share you," he grumbles out, his ears growing even more red. Between you rutting against him and him confessing to being jealous, you don't know which is making him more red.

"You don't share me. I wouldn't be sitting like this with anyone else besides you," you grind down into him again and he releases his grip on you, instead grabbing your hips.

"I wouldn't be trying this hard to fuck anybody but you," you speak lowly, placing a kiss to the side of his neck. He lets out a deep groan at your words and you grind down into him again.

"Show me I'm yours?" You ask quietly into his ear and it only take a millisecond for his hand to find your chin and turn it, smashing his lips against yours. His tongue immediately finds its way into your mouth and he easily flips the two of you over so that he is placed between your legs.

He grabs your jeans and gently pulls them down your legs and then your underwear. He rubs lazy circles on your clit while he continues to kiss you. He catches himself rutting against your thigh, desperate for friction and you also notice.

"Fuck me, Chris. Please?" you ask, as sweetly as you can muster, and who is he to deny you when you sound so nice? He pushes his pants down his legs and lines himself up with your entrance before slowly sinking in.

You let out a hiss at the stretch and he drops to his elbows, caging you in, and locking your lips again. Your hands make their way around his back and he slowly starts to speed up when he feels you relaxing around him.

"You're always so tight for me," he mumbles against your lips and you hum when he picks up the pace.

"Nobody can make me feel the way you do, Channie," you moan out and he places another kiss to your lips before he sits back on his heels, folding your knees to either side of your chest.

"You don't think Changbin could make you feel like this?" His jealousy creeps back into him and you immediately shake your head, feeding into him.

"Only you," you breathe out and his thrusts start to hit you harder, making you mewl out and slap your hand over your mouth. He grabs your wrist quickly, pinning it beside your head.

"I want him to hear. I want him to hear how good I can make you feel," he groans out and his other hand comes down to make contact with your clit, making quick work of pushing you towards your orgasm.

"Are you going to cum, princess? I can feel you trying to milk my cock," Chan sets a bruising pace and you cry out when you feel yourself on the verge of cumming.

"Fuck! Chris, you're going to make me cum. Fuck. I'm cumming I'm cumming I'm cumming..." you find yourself chanting as he plows into you and he releases your wrist and stops abusing your clit, now chasing his own high.

"Cum for me, Chan. Fill me up, Channie," you're practically begging for his cum and its all it takes for him to get sent over the edge, letting himself collapse on top of you and locks your lips while he paints your insides with his seed.

"He's probably going to be traumatized," Chan breathes out when he pulls away from you, causing you to laugh.

Lee Know:

"Why do you insist on making me so angry?" Minho's voice in your ear is deep and raspy but still clear over the music thudding around you. You bite down on your lip at his tone and turn your head to face him. Your faces are only a few inches apart and you can clearly see the anger flickering through his gaze.

"What did I do?" You're playing dumb. You know what you did. You were just trying to be nice back to the bartender and it was too late for you once you realized he was actually flirting with you and it probably looked like you were flirting back.

A smirk covers Minho's face and he grabs his wallet, pulling out his card and handing it to the bartender.

"Me and my girlfriend are leaving. Close the tab." He demands, jaw clenching. The bartender blinks between the two of you a few times before you hang your head in shame, not daring to look the man in the eyes again.

"But I want to stay," you know you shouldn't whine, you know you shouldn't complain. The circumstance was far from relaxed and Minho snapping his head towards you further proves that point.

Minho's hand finds its way to your shoulders, pulling your body towards him and he leans down, his breath blowing your hair and sending chills down your spine. His hand moves down to your lower back, holding you in place. From anyone else looking at you, it would look like a sweet gesture but this is Minho.

"You want to stay here and have fun with your new boyfriend? That's too bad. You're not getting your way this time, princess," his voice is sharp and hostile. The nickname is practically spat into your ear and you gulp, feeling heat rush up your neck.

His hand creeps from your lower back to the back of your neck, his hand resting there until you finished your drink and stood. He still doesn't remove his hand, guiding you through the crowd and out of the bar until you get to his car. He only lets go when he reaches down to open the door for you, closing it behind you, and walking to the other side of the car.

He settles in the drivers seat and starts the car but doesn't put his seatbelt on or make any effort to pull out of the parking lot.

"Do you enjoy acting like a spoiled brat?" His deep voice breaks the silence and you can't help rolling your eyes at him.

"You're the one acting like a spoiled brat. Not me. I was just being nice and you got jealous," you cross your arms over your chest and and Minho clenches his jaw again, still looking out of the windshield.

"If you know how easily I get jealous, why do you always make me feel like this. If you want me to fuck you until you can't walk, then just say that," his words catch you off guard and he finally turns to face you.

"What? Cat got your tongue? Nothing to say now, sweetheart?" He taunts you and you huff, turning away from him to face out the window.

"You forced me to leave when I was having fun so lets go. I'm ready for bed," you mumble, staring out the window.

"Speak up when you're talking to me." His tone is commanding and you gulp, still refusing to face him. He grabs your chin, turning your head to face him.

"And stop fucking pouting. Would you rather go in there and spend time with my replacement?" he taunts pushing your face out of his hand and you subconsciously rub your thighs together. You both know how much it turns you on when he gets aggressive with you like this.

"Yes actually," you know you shouldn't instigate him but you can't help it. You reach for the door handle and he can't quite grab you before you're out of the car. He quickly exits the car as well and grabs you before you're even two steps away.

His hand wraps around your wrist, pulling your body into his. You try to wriggle your hand out of his grip but he is much stronger than you. He tightens his grip and turns you so you're sitting on the hood of his car, the vibration from the engine sending chills throughout your entire body.

Minho's hand drops between your thighs and he presses two fingers against your panties before he lets out a chuckle.

"You're pathetic. Why are you so wet?" He practically spits in your face and you bite your lip to fight the smile from making its way on your face before you make your final jab at his ego.

"Must've been from the way the bartender was looking at me," you taunt and Minho freezes for a moment before he lets out a loud laugh. A genuine laugh and you feel your heart drop. You might have pushed him too far this time.

"All you care about is attention, isn't it? It doesn't even matter who you get it from. You just want the promise of something touching your cunt," he spits and takes a step towards you, you stumble back slightly, sitting on the hood.

Minho leans forward and places a hand on either side of your body, his face only centimeters from yours. Your eyes dart down to his lips and his tongue flicks out, wetting them before your eyes meet his again. You lean forward, desperate to meet your lips together but a hand between you two stops you. Your eyes shoot open and Minho has the most smug look on his face, his hand over your mouth muffling your whine.

"You need to stop provoking me, princess," he speaks lowly and the pressure on your mouth increases as he lays you back on the hood of the car and positions himself between your legs. Your short dress rides up quickly and is gathered around your hips.

His other hand makes its way to your core, pushing his way inside of your panties and he inserts a finger into you. His hand is still covering your mouth and you arch into him, my hand stopping the pitiful sounds from leaving your mouth.

His hand exits your panties and he undoes his belt quickly, never moving his other hand from your mouth. He pulls your panties to the side and lines himself up with your entrance before entering you, all in one go.

You cry out at the stretch and it would probably have been close to a shriek if it wasn't for Minho's hand. He finally removes his hand, opting to place his fingers in your mouth instead.

"Suck, slut," he demands you and you immediately oblige before he starts to move inside of you, making your eyes roll back into your head. He removes his wet fingers from your mouth and they quickly find your clit, rubbing circles on it.

Your back arches at his touch and he feels you clenching around him.

"I'm- I'm gonna-" before you can finish your sentence, Minho stops. Your oncoming orgasm quickly dissipates and your eyes fly open.

"What the fuck? Why did you do that?" you complain, anger creeping into your body and he lets out another laugh.

"Do you seriously think that you should be allowed to cum with the way you have been acting today?" he questions and you feel your eyes start to water in frustration. His hand reaches forwards and wraps around the back of your hair. He pulls out of you and steps back, using your hair to guide you to your knees in front of him.

"You need something in your pretty mouth to fix that attitude," he comments and you look up at him. He runs a thumb across your cheekbone, gathering a tear that you hadn't even realized had fallen before his cock is in your mouth.

His grip in your hair tightens and his head falls back at the feeling of your mouth around him. He doesn't give you time to adjust before he's fucking your mouth, making you gag every time he hits the back of your throat. Your eyes fall closed as the tears make their way to your eyes again.

"Look at me," he demands and you obey, your eyes popping open to meet his and as soon as the air hits your eyes, the tears starts to fall down your cheeks.

"Fuck, you look so pretty, baby," he reaches into his back pocket and you don't realize what he's doing until the flash is on your face and you realize he's recording you. It doesn't take much before his thrusts get sloppy in your mouth.

"Fuck. I'm going to show this to your little friend. Make him realize who you belong to," he groans and pushes his cock as far into you as he can, cumming down your throat. He pulls out of your mouth with a pop before forcing his thumb into your mouth and prying it open.

"Open up. Let me make sure you swallowed it all," he speaks up and you sniffle, sticking your tongue out and he moves the camera to your mouth, proving that you did in fact swallow everything he gave you. He turns the camera off and places it on the car behind you.

"Such a good girl," he comments, rubbing your cheeks, trying his best to wipe your tears without ruining your makeup.

Changbin:

"I just don't get it, Binnie! What did I do so wrong? He's actually fucking insane," you rant, still pacing around the room. You and your boyfriend had just gotten into a huge fight about how he thinks you're cheating on him with your best friend, Changbin.

He claims he can sense the sexual tension between the two of you and wouldn't put it past you to be having sex with him behind his back. To be fair, the two of you do have a lot of sexual tension that neither of you have explored but that's neither here nor there.

"What exactly was he saying? You still haven't told me," Changbin looks up at you from the studio chair and the eye contact has you pacing again. A blush creeps up your neck when you realize you need to relay to him what your boyfriend has been saying.

"He..um..." you trail off and Changbin stands from the chair and put both hands on your shoulder, stopping your pacing, and guides you to the couch to sit you down.

"Relax, sweetheart. Take a deep breath. What did he say to you?" He asks you, leaning down so you're eye level with each other. You chew on your lip and Changbin's eyes dart to your mouth for a moment before he makes eye contact with you again.

"He thinks I'm cheating on him," you start and Changbin scoffs, shaking his head.

"Why would he ever even think that? You're with that piece of shit and nobody else so he should be grateful to even be able to have you in his presence," his tone is a bit angry and he releases your shoulders, sitting on the coffee table across from you.

"With you..." you finish the statement and your best friend's eyes grow wide at the rest of the sentence. He blinks at you a few times, obviously trying to find the right words but they never make it out of his mouth.

"He says that we have too much sexual tension to not be fucking each other. I was really thinking about it and I can't tell if he's right or wrong," you suddenly confess and a chuckles leaves Changbin's mouth.

"We can prove him right if you want," Changbin suddenly proposes and you freeze. You're not blinking or even breathing when he makes the confession.

"Wha... Binnie, I don't-"

"Come on. We both know he isn't good enough for you anyways. He's just mad because he sees how much better I would treat you," He leans forward, placing a hand on your knee.

"He sees how much happier you are with me," he leans forward more, his lips only a few inches from yours. "You can tell me to stop and we will never talk about this again," he whispers and leans towards you more. When his lips are only a centimeter from yours, he looks up into your eyes, searching for any uncertainty.

Instead, he sees pure lust and you lean forward, closing the gap between the two of you. You stand, your hands finding a place on either one of his muscular shoulders and slowly trailing down his biceps. You have felt his muscles a million times, but never like this.

His hands wrap around the back of your thighs and he pulls you forward, making you stumble into his lap, straddling him. His hands make purchase on your ass, almost as if they were always supposed to be there. He kneads at the flesh softly, earning a small moan from you.

His grip on your ass tightens and he stands, still holding you before he turns and slowly lowers himself onto the couch. He really is strong and the thought of how easily he can manhandle you has you dripping. You pull away from him, letting your forehead rest against his.

"You feel so good under me," you whisper out and a cocky smirk quickly makes its way to his face. You bite down on your lip and his finger is quick to reach up and pull it from between your teeth.

"You always bite your lip when you look at me. Why is that?" he questions and you're already too turned on to be embarrassed by anything that might come out of your mouth.

"Because I'm always thinking about how much better you could fuck me than my boyfriend," you speak out lowly and he literally growls at the statement, a slap resonating through the room when his hand makes contact with your ass.

"You're mine. You always have been mine. Even when you're with anyone else, you still belong to me," he groans out and locks his lips with yours again. His hand makes quick work of the button on your jeans and his hand is in your panties, rubbing against your leaking slit.

"Fuck. Are you always this wet?" he speaks against your lips and you let out a moan when he  creeps a finger inside of you.

"Only when I'm around you," your confession isn't untrue, which is honestly sad. Your best friend gets you more turned on than your boyfriend ever has.

He sinks another finger into you and your head falls back, exposing your neck to him. He can't resist the urge and leans forward, sucking a hickey into your throat. His fingers pumping in and out of you have you too distracted to even realize what he's doing.

He pulls his hand from inside of your pants and flips you off of him with ease, making you land on your back on the couch next to him. He quickly pulls your jeans and panties down your legs and pushes two fingers into you again, before leaning down and licking at your clit. Your head falls back and you start to see stars at the combination.

"Fuck. You're making me feel so good, Binnie. I'm going to cum if you keep doing that," you mewl out and the thought of you cumming has him seeing stars but he would much rather feel you cumming around his cock than his fingers.

He pulls his fingers from you and sits up. He pushes your legs closed and wraps an arm around your waist, flipping you with ease. You feel his presence behind you and hear his belt unbuckling before he leans over to whisper in your ear.

"I'm going to cum in this pussy. I want to put a baby in you so everyone knows you belong to me,” his husky voice has you letting out a moan and he uses his knee to kick your legs apart and open you up for him.

He sinks into you and you let out a deep moan at the stretch. You almost regret this position because you would have loved to see his pretty cock before he buried it inside of you but that just means you’ll have to do this again later.

He continues to sink into you and he's hitting spots that you are positive your boyfriend has never hit before. Changbin's hand wraps into your hair and he tugs gently at the roots, making you clench around him.

"You're so fucking tight. There's no way your boyfriend is fucking you right," he speaks through gritted teeth and you moan when he finally starts to pick up speed. His cock is pushing against your g-spot every time he slides into you and before long, you feel yourself cumming far harder than you ever have.

It washes over you without warning and the sounds coming from where you and your best friend are connected are absolutely obscene. You cover his thighs and your own, along with the couch in your orgasm. Your legs are shaking and your hands are gripping the back of the couch when Changbin stops completely.

"You just squirted every where. You made such a mess, baby. I'm just getting started and you already can't control yourself," he starts to thrust into you shallowly, making your whole body shake.

"I'm going to show you how you should've been getting fucked this whole time," he grunts out, wrapping his hand tighter in your hair and speeding up his thrusts.

Hyunjin:

"We're just friends. Stop being so fucking jealous. Oh my God," you throw your hands in the air and you kick your shoes off before Hyunjin turns around to face you, shock covering his face.

"You're joking. You have seriously got to be joking right now," he snaps at you, his voice raising slightly in volume and you shrug at him annoyed.

"If I was friends with someone that I used to regularly fuck, you would lose your shit. Don't try to deny it," he speaks up again and you scoff. Okay maybe be isn't completely wrong. You would be mad, but you and your ex friend with benefit had a different kind of relationship.

"It wasn't even like that, Hyunjin!" you snap and shrug your jacket off, pushing past him towards the living room.

"So he isn't your ex fuck buddy?"

"Well he is but-"

"But nothing, y/n. Think about how the fuck I feel right now. Stop getting defensive and just fucking listen to me," he snaps at you, his voice raising more and you immediately feel yourself folding at his tone.

Your sweet boyfriend doesn't often get mad or even frustrated with you but when he does... it’s like a dam breaks in your panties. You can't help riling him up even more. Honestly you weren't nearly as angry as your were five minutes ago.

"I'm listening, Jinnie. Just calm down," you put your hands up in defense and you can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" His voice is back to its normal volume but his tone is much deeper. You know if you push his buttons right, you could get him to fuck you just like you like it.

"And if I did?" You provoke him further and he crosses the room faster than you can even comprehend. He places one knee on the side of your thigh and both of his hands grip the back of the couch. He has you completely caged in and your heart is racing.

"Where did my sweet girl go? I don't know this brat," he speaks through a clenched jaw and you look up at him, letting your head fall onto the back of the couch.

"Mm. 'M not a brat," you protest and your hand find its way onto his thigh, rubbing the jean material gently. He studies your face for a moment before a devious smirk covers his own.

"Do I need to remind you how much better I fuck you? Do I need to remind you that he wouldn't be able to handle your attitude for even an hour?" he leans down, his nose brushing against yours.

"Do I need to remind you of your place, my pretty?" His tongue darts out and licks your lips. Your mouth instinctively falls open and he presses his lips to yours, trapping you between the couch and his body. You wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss.

He repositions himself so you're laying on the couch and he is hovering above you. You let out a deep groan into his mouth when his thigh presses against your core. His hand finds its way down to your hip and he starts to guide you across his thigh.

His lips never leave yours and you feel yourself approaching your high much quicker than you would like to admit. Rutting against your boyfriend's thigh was enough to send you over the edge and just as you reach your peak, he stops your hips and hold you firmly against his thigh so you can't grind anymore, essentially ruining your pitiful excuse for an orgasm.

"Jinnie, you just-"

"Shh, princess," he presses his lips against yours again before slowly trailing down your body. He unbottons your blouse, letting your lacy bra hang out. He presses strategic kisses over where your nipples are before inching all the way to the top of your skirt.

He skips past the skirt and kisses the inside of your thighs before finally letting his head dip under the skirt and pressing a kiss against your soaking panties. You aren't nearly as sensitive as you usually are after your orgasm and you assume its because he didn't let you actually reach your peak.

His fingers hook into the sides of your panties and he pulls them down your legs before he leans back up and licks a stripe up your core. He immediately starts to eat you like a man starved.

His fingers quickly find your entrance and you let out a moan when he pushes two fingers into you, curling and scissoring them just how you like. All the while, he never stops sucking and flicking your clit and all the sensations quickly have you building up to another orgasm.

"I'm- I'm cumming," you blurt out, your hand shooting down to find your boyfriend's hair but suddenly, you're left again. You reach another sad excuse for an orgasm and it’s almost painful, making you cry out.

"Hyunjin. Please. Please stop. I need to cum so bad," you beg, tears beginning to stream down your face and your bottom lip trembling.

"But you are cumming," he has the most shit eating smirk on his lips and you wish you could slap him in that moment. You bring both of your hands over your eyes to try to stop the tears.

Hyunjin rarely ever got mean when he was domming you so it was an overwhelming experience. But also, you did kind of instigate this and you would be lying if you said a part of you didn’t genuinely enjoy this.

"Stop crying. You think your friend would have you crying and begging like this?" he suddenly speaks up and you pull your hands away from your eyes to look at him. Your makeup is completely smeared and you looks so messy and... beautiful.

"No, Jinnie. Only you. Only you can make me cum. Please make me cum," you're pleading again, reaching for him but he sits back on the couch, turning away from you to sit properly and you sit up.

"Come do it yourself if you're that desperate," he scoffs at you before throwing his arm up on the back of the couch and adjusting himself to sit in a proper manspread.

You scramble to sit up and drop to your knees in front of him, palming him over his jeans. He can put up this act all he wants but he is almost painfully hard and you can feel it. You reach up and undo his belt. He lifts his hips as you pull down his jeans and underwear and you straddle him, not bothering to take of the rest of your clothes.

You align him with your soaking and begging entrance before dropping down onto him in one swift motion, your head falling back at the feeling of finally being filled.

"You fill me up so perfect," you begin to catch yourself rambling and Hyunjin hums in agreement, still not touching you and your eyes snap open when your head falls forward to look at him.

His eyes are already on you but he still has this nonchalant look on his face that you can't help getting pissed off over. He's buried in his girlfriend's pussy and can't even be bothered to let out a moan? You slide up, almost letting him drop out of you, before snapping back down onto him. He grunts but still doesn't let a single one of his pretty moans leave his mouth.

Your hands creep up your body and you grab the cups of your bra, letting your breasts fall out. If there is one thing about Hyunjin, its that visuals are what really get him going. The sight of your breasts bouncing in his face would hopefully be enough to tempt him at least a little bit.

"Fuck. You're so pretty. All mine. I wish nobody else ever got to see you like this before me," he confesses, finally folding and placing both hands on your hips, guiding your movements.

"Nobody has. Nobody had ever had me begging like you make me do. Nobody can make me feel as good as you, baby. I'm all yours," you start to babble again as the feeling of an orgasm approaches you.

Hyunjin leans forward and sucks one of your nipples into his mouth which is enough to send you into the most mind boggling and insane orgasm you have ever had.

You let out something that can only be described as a scream and Hyunjin quickly places his hand over your mouth, trying his best to suppress the noises leaving your mouth.

The feeling of your orgasm has him cussing and cumming inside of you with almost no warning. Your hands are wrapped around his neck and your body is practically convulsing as you come down from your orgasm. You feel tears streaming down your face and the feel of Hyunjin's hands on your cheeks snap you back into reality.

"Are you okay, my angel?" his voice is soft and you nod, still catching your breath. Your muscles start to relax and you feel like jelly, falling forward to bury your face into Hyunjin's neck.

"Was I too mean?" He speaks up, his hand gently petting the back of your hair and you shake your head.

"No. Not at all. It was so good," you confess, a blush making its way to your face.

Han:

"Y/n. You're insane. You know that?" Your boyfriend, well ex boyfriend, practically yells at you as you pick up a pillow and throw it at him.

"Get out of my fucking house, Jisung!" You snap and grab another pillow, throwing it as hard as you can but he still manages to catch it.

"I'm not fucking cheating on you. Your jealousy is out of control. We literally are in the same company! Of course we’re friends," He defends himself and you slap your hands over your ears. Yes you are being childish but you don't want to lose this argument that it seems you have already lost.

Jisung is right, the girl is part of the company and he spoke to her in passing at an award show. He probably made some stupid joke and she laughed. But the way she laughed at him is what had your blood boiling. It wasn't a laugh, it was a giggle. A fucking giggle.

"Shut up, Jisung," you step towards him, your finger poking him in the chest. A smirk covers his face as he takes a step towards you, challenging you.

"Make me," he taunts you and you bawl your fist up at your sides. His stupid pretty eyes and his stupid pretty smirk and his stupid perfect body pressed against yours had you so confused.

"I'm so confused. I'm so mad at you but you're so... hot," you throw your hands up in frustration and turn your back to him. He still has his hair and makeup done from the award show.

He took the suit jacket off but somehow he looks even hotter. The rolled up sleeves and a few of the top buttons are undone on his shirt and he just looks so fucking good, you could jump his bones.

"Are you done being jealous or are you still trying to break up with me?" His voice sounds from behind you and you storm to your room. You try to slam the door before Jisung can reach you but he's much closer than you thought and he catches the door before it can close.

He enters the room and sits on the edge of the bed, leaning back against his hands. His legs spread slightly and he looks over at you. He really does look so good. The way the pants are hugging his thighs and accentuating his slim waist.

You're crossing the room to him before your brain can catch up with your feet and your lips are against his. You quickly straddle him and your tongues are fighting until your hand finds its way into his hair, tugging gently. He moans and you use the opportunity to take dominance.

You pull away and pull his hair again, exposing his neck to you and you place a kiss over his pulse point. You can see how hard his heart is beating and you grind down gently into him when your teeth make contact with the pulsing vein.

"You're mine, Sungie. I don't even want other people looking at what's mine," you mumble into his neck, continuing to place kisses to the exposed skin.

"I'm yours. I always have been and I always will be," he agrees with you and you push him down so he's lying on his back. You unbotton a few more of his buttons and let your lips explore the newly exposed skin on his chest.

You're shimmying out of your shorts and straddling him again before he even realizes that you are. The silk shirt is probably going to be ruined by the time you're done but you really couldn't care less.

You pull away and push Jisung's arms down flat and moving yourself until you're hovering your soaking core over his face. His hands quickly grab your ass and push you down to sit on his face. Your head falls back and one hand finds its way into his hair as soon as he begins sucking on your clit.

"Fuck. This is my mouth. I can do whatever I want with it," you moan out, grinding down into him and he hums against your core, sending vibrations throughout your body and making you see stars.

"I'm gonna cum, baby. You're doing so good, fuck," you cry out as your orgasm comes washing over you. He continues to lick and suck at you, holding you in place with his hands.

You try to squirm away but your boyfriend is much stronger than you, despite letting you dominate him sometimes. He forces you to stay above his mouth abusing your pussy. By the time he's inserting two fingers, you're already cumming again.

This time, Jisung does let you pull away and you roll off of him before looking over at him again. He is covered in you, his face, his neck, his shirt.

"Mm, I love letting you play dominant. But look who can have you squirting all over their face," His voice is husky and you feel a blush covering your face.

"Shut up," you mumble out, covering your face with your arm.

"Make me," he mumbles into your ear before placing a kiss on your neck.

Felix:

"Sorry, love! I'm with my roommate right now but I'll come over right after we finish this," you explain through the phone and Felix huffs, a cute pout on his face.

"But you live together. You see each other everyday. What about me?" His tone is just as pouty as his face and you can't stop the smile forcing its way to your lips. He's just too cute.

"You're so cute, Lix. I promise I'll be on the way in like an hour. Okay?" you promise and he groans again.

"Not okay," he replies and sets his phone up so he can dramatically let his head fall onto his desk. You bite down on your lip to try to keep from laughing but it doesn't quite work.

"Okay, okay. You big baby. I'll leave here in a little bit," you reassure him and look over at your roommate who is also holding back a laugh at your sweet boyfriend's antics.

A huge smile covers his face when he sits back up. He's so spoiled and you can't blame anyone but yourself.

"I love you," he smiles through the phone and you roll your eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I love you too. See you in a little bit," you hang up the phone and turn to your roommate who is giggling her head off.

"You wanna come? I'm sure Innie won't mind spending time with you," you tease her and she groans, sinking into the couch. She shakes her head and glances over at you.

"I think he might just be the last person I want to see right now," she grumbles and you laugh while you walk towards the door to gather your belongings.

"I'll see you later, roomie!" you call out and step out the door, making your way to Felix's.

You reach out to knock on the door but it opens before you can and you drop your hand, being met face to face with your precious boyfriend.

"Finally!" he grabs you and lifts you off the ground in a tight hug before closing the door behind you. He puts you back down on your feet and presses his lips to yours.

"Missed you, jealous baby," you tease him and a pout immediately forms on his face, his grip around your waist tightening.

" 'M not jealous. I just missed you," he tries to convince you but you shake your head, dropping your hands from his shoulders and making your way towards his bedroom.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say," you roll your eyes and step into his room, making yourself comfortable on his bed.

"Is it bad that I just want to spend time with you? You literally live with her. You can see her anytime you want! I have to hang out with you as much as possible because there might be months where we don't get to see each other," he continues trying to defend himself and sits next to you on the bed. You roll onto your stomach and throw your arm over his lap, letting out a groan.

"Don't remind me," you grumble out. The thought of not being able to see Felix whenever you want literally makes you sick to your stomach. His hand finds your hair and he starts scratching your scalp, a way of comforting you.

"Can I have a kiss?" Felix's voice suddenly speaks up and you immediately sit up. He's so cute when he asks permission and who would ever say no to his requests?

You place one leg across his lap and one of his hands makes itself comfortable on your thigh while the other one grabs the back of your neck, pulling you closer to his mouth. You lean forward and wrap your arms around his neck.

The kiss quickly turns more deep and his tongue is in your mouth before you know it. You accept, of course, and Felix takes a dominant position, which is a bit unusual for him. When the two of you are intimate, there isn't usually a real dominant or submissive dynamic.

That being said, the way Felix's tongue is exploring your mouth and the tight grip on the back of your neck are telling a different story. He quickly rolls on top of you, settling between your legs and you can't help grinding up into him a little bit.

He pulls away and starts kissing on your neck, leaving wet marks and tiny bruises along the way. His hands make their way under the bottom of your shirt and settle on either side of your waist. You arch up into him, desperate for more of his touch.

"If you had stayed with your roommate, you wouldn't have been feeling so good right now," his low tone sends chills across your body and you audibly moan at his words.

"I know. I know. Can you touch me more, please?" Your words are kind but your tone is definitely showing sign of impatience. You sound a bit demanding and Felix lets out a chuckle when he sits up to look at your face.

"So demanding. Does your roommate let you boss her around like that? It's not going to work with me, love," he leans down and presses a quick kiss to your mouth. He pulls away and has you following him before his hand lands at the base of your neck, pushing you back down onto the bed.

The action has you letting out a gasp and you subconsciously grind up into Felix again, desperate for some sort of friction. Your boyfriend stares at you for a moment, processing how much you enjoy how rough he is being with you right now.

"You're so naughty," he comments, his grip tightening slightly around your neck and your hips buck again. This time, he presses his hips down onto you, letting you make contact with his quickly growing bulge.

"You are jealous, aren't you?" you mewl out and a smirk covers his face while he looks down at you. He wishes he could take a picture of you in this moment, your hair spread around you, your eyes glossy, a flush on your face, his marks left on your neck that are peeking out from behind his hand.

"Mm. What do you think? You see her everyday and still tried to pick her over me," he grinds into you, making you let out a deep moan, "I just don't think it's very fair. Wouldn't you agree, angel?" he taunts you, grinding into you again, catching perfectly on your clit through your leggings. Your head falls back on the mattress and Felix gets an evil idea.

"You think I could make you cum like this? Just through some dry humping? You really are so naughty..." he trails off before grinding into you at the same exact spot again. This time, he doesn't stop and instead keeps the pace going.

He's lucky he has on jeans but even through his jeans, he can feel the friction and has to try to not think about it just so he can prove a point.

"Fuck, Lix. I-I feel so good. You're making me feel so good," you gasp out and he lets out another low laugh at how fucked out you sound and your pants are still on.

"Are you going to cum? Who is making you cum? Use your words, baby," his grinding speeds up and you wrap both your hands around his forearm in front of your face. Your nails dig into the skin and his grip around your neck tightens before he releases it again, which is enough to send you flying over the edge.

"You! You, Felix! You're making me...mm.. you're making me cum. I'm cumming! Thank you," you're blabbering out and you don't even realize you're thanking him and you're not even sure what you're thanking him for but it opens up a whole new side of Felix that he didn't even know existed.

You feel yourself coming back down from your high and Felix is already hooking his fingers into your leggings and pulling them down your legs. His gentle kisses to the inside of your thighs finally brings you fully back to reality.

"Now, I'm going to eat this pretty pussy and you're going to thank me every time I make you cum. Do you understand?" his voice is commanding and dripping with authority. You bite down on your lip before nodding.

"Yes. I understand," you whisper out and before anymore thoughts can be had, Felix dives into your hypersensitive pussy.

Seungmin:

"He likes you," Seungmin whispers in your ear, his hand gently grazing your hip. You shake it off and turn to him, a fake smile plastered on your face.

"So?" you prompt, raising your eyebrow and he mirrors the fake smile on your face, letting a scoff fall from his lips.

"So stop flirting with him," he speaks through gritted teeth, trying to make the smile stay on his face for the cameras. You roll your eyes and turn back to Jeongin to keep talking.

"You look so pretty, y/n," a blush covers Jeongin's face when he makes the admission and now a genuine smile makes its way onto your face.

"Thank you, Innie. I think you're pretty, too," you tease, pushing his arm slightly and you both laugh. You hear Seungmin clear his throat on the other side of you and you turn to face him.

"You okay, bestie? Sounds like you have something in your throat. Do you need something to drink?" you put on a mocking tone and Seungmin lets out a fake laugh.

"Yeah. I do. Come with me," he demands and before you can object, he stands from his seat and holds his elbow out to you. You let out a sigh and wrap your perfectly manicured hand around his arm as he guides you towards the refreshments.

His other hand grabs yours on his arm when you try to pull away to head to the table and be guides you behind the table instead and to a door, exiting the main room of the venue.

"Kim Seungmin, this is kidnapping. I didn't agree to this," you snap, trying to pull your hand from his again.

"Well that's too damn bad," his tone immediately makes you snap your mouth shut. Before you have time to muster the courage to talk again, he's pushing you through a door and into a small room, his dressing room.

He steps into the room behind you and you turn to face him. He takes a few quick steps towards you and you back away from him until your lower back makes contact with the vanity that was behind you.

"Seungmin, what are you-"

"Shut your mouth. The sound of your voice is pissing me off right now. Every time you talk, all I can hear is you telling I.N how pretty he looks," he snaps and grabs your face in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

"It was your idea to keep this a secret. Was it not?" you instigate him, motioning between the two of you and his jaw clenches. You're right. He's the one that decided to keep this friends with benefits (but honestly a little more) thing between just the two of you and hide it from everyone, including the boys.

"Exactly. So cut the jealousy before you tell on yourself," you grab his wrist to push it away from your face but he shake it off quickly, opting to wrap it around your neck instead. You inhale a sharp breath at the contact and Seungmin's eyes fall shut. He presses his forehead to yours.

"I can't help it. I don't want to hide it anymore. I need everyone to know that you aren't their's for the picking," his lips crash into yours and you immediately melt into the familiar kiss. Your lips are sticky due to your lip makeup but he doesn't seem to mind.

Especially as his lips begin to travel down your neck, leaving sticky wet kisses in his wake. He reaches just above the neckline of the dress you have on before he lets his teeth sink into the exposed skin there. You let out a mix of a moan of pleasure and pain when he sucks gently on the spot, sure to leave a mark.

"M-minnie. W-we're going to get caught," you're breathless, your hands tangling in his hair. He groans against you before sucking another mark on the other side of your chest, just below your necklace.

"I want to. I want to get caught. I don't care anymore," he grumbles and stands, looking down at you for a moment, before grabbing your arm and spinning you to face the a vanity.

You looked so fucked out already that you felt yourself getting even wetter at the sight. Your glassy eyes take in your appearance. Your lipstick was smeared around your mouth and chin, small traces of the color on your jaw, neck and chest from Seungmin’s lips. One of the spaghetti straps of your dress was hanging off of your shoulder and you had dark purple marks littering your chest and collarbones.

Seungmin presses against you from behind, obviously just as turned on from the sight as you. His arms settle on the vanity, caging you in and he leans forward so you can clearly see him in the mirror. Your lipstick is all over his lips and chin, some has even made its way to the white collar of his shirt.

His big hands grab at your hips as he ruts against you again, letting out a groan. He drops to his knees, grabbing the hem of your dress and pushing it over your slightly bent over frame.

"No panties?" he questions, his finger collecting your wetness before he brings the finger to his mouth and pops it in between his lips. The scene alone has you moaning as you make eye contact through the mirror.

"The dress is too tight," you breath out and a smirk makes its way onto his lips before he drops his hand to your soaking core again and lets one of his fingers push into your hole.

"You're so wet for me," he leans forward and whispers into your ear, lips grazing your earring clad ear.

"Mm, just for you," you speak out quietly and he chuckles, adding another finger into you. A moan falls from your lips and your head falls back onto his shoulder. He retracts his fingers from you and you hear his belt get undone before you feel the head of his cock teasing you.

His fingers find their way to your lips and your sick your essence off of them, making Seungmin groan at the feeling. He pulls his fingers from your mouth with a pop before his hand settles on your hip.

"Just for me? You sure this wasn't because of Jeongin calling you pretty?" he teases the head in and out of you and you bite down on your lip.

"Fuck me, Seungmin. Please? Please? I need it. Please?" you're begging him and he chuckles wrapping a hand around the front of your neck as he eases into you.

"Fuck. This pussy was made for me. All mine," he groans out and you feel yourself clench at the statement. You really are all his. You don't want to admit it, but he's completely right.

He starts to slowly rut into you, teasing you before his hand moves to the back of your neck and pushes you down onto the vanity, your chest pressed against the glass.

"I'm gonna fill my pussy up and you're going to keep it all inside of you. Aren't you?" he questions and speeds his thrusts up, the sting of the vanity against your hips sending you even further into submission.

His hand makes contact with your ass, making you yelp. He bottoms out inside of you, tip touching your cervix and making you whine out as he leans over you, his chest pressed to your back. He stops inside of you, as deep as he can go and you can't help beginning to circle your hips against him. Both of his hands land on your hips, tight grip holding you still.

"I asked you a question," he grumbles into your ear and your eyes shoot open as you rack your brain for what he just asked you. You were so lost in the pleasure that it didn't even register in your brain that he had spoken.

"I-I..." you trail off and he lets out a chuckle, landing another slap on your exposed flesh. You clench around him and he takes a mental note of how much you enjoy being spanked.

"Already fucked your brains out?" he questions and the only sound that leaves your mouth is a moan because of his fingers making contact with your clit and beginning to rub circles.

He starts to slowly buck his hips into you at this deep angle, only pushing deeper, until you can't take it anymore and cum around him. However he doesn't stop and instead sits up, placing both hands on your lower back and roughly beginning to thrust into you again.

The pace sends you into overstimulation quickly and you lean forward, trying to get away from him. He grabs your thigh, keeping you from moving and changing the angle he is hitting you, making your eyes roll back in your head.

"Look at you. About to cum again. You think anyone else can make you feel like this?" His voice is breathy and husky and you can't do anything but shake your head. He places your knee on the vanity and lands another smack to your ass.

"I asked you a question," his tone is demanding and you find yourself tumbling over the edge again

"Nobody else. Only you. Only you. Only you. Fuck. Only you Seungmin," you're babbling as your orgasm crashes over you.

"Mhm. That's what I thought," he whispers before stilling, his hips flush to your ass as he empties himself inside of you.

Little did you both know, Jeongin knew the whole time that you two had been together. He just thought it was time for a little push.

I.N:

"How do you two know each other?" Jeongin approaches behind you at the coffee shop, making you jump.

"Hi, Innie! This is actually my ex from high school!" You laugh and the man on the other side of the counter laughs as well. Jeongin's hand makes it's way into yours and you accept it quickly, like you always do.

"Ahh," He reaches his hand out and greets your ex. You talk for a few more minutes before your name is called and you get your coffee and sit at a table in the corner.

"What's wrong?" you speak up as soon as your boyfriend sits across from you, nudging him gently with your foot. He looks up from his phone and shakes his head at you, a dismissive look on his face.

"You were late and we had time to catch up so we did. I haven't seen him since... God, I don't even remember when. It's always good running into old friends," you reminisce on the old times a bit and Jeongin looks up at you again.

"You didn't tell him that I'm your boyfriend," he pouts out and your glance at him across from you. He seems a bit hurt but you really didn't intend to make him feel that way.

"I told him I was meeting my boyfriend before you showed up. We had been talking for like 20 minutes," you explain and he looks at the window, annoyance evident on his face.

"Twenty minutes?" He questions, raising his eyebrows at you again and you nod.

"He's the one I told you about, y'know," you add on, oblivious to your boyfriend's bubbling jealousy. He lets out a humorless laugh. He know who he is because when you told him his name the first time, he found him on social media and gave him an effective stalking.

"And I care because? So you were talking to the guy that you claim gave you the 'best sex of your life before you met me' for twenty minutes? Okay, y/n," he was visibly annoyed and you finally were able to pick up on the hints of jealousy

"Ah. You're jealous. Gotcha," you tilt your head at him and he finally turns to face you. You rest your chin in your hand and your boyfriend studies your face.

"I'm not jealous," he grumbles out and you nod.

"So if I say that I was daydreaming about the head that he used to give me... you wouldn't care?" you provoke, squinting your eyes at him.

Jeongin's hand slaps down on the table, the sound of his rings hitting the wood echo into your ears and you jump at the noise. He takes a deep inhale and lets it out before looking you in the eyes again.

"I'm not jealous. I just don't like the fact that he knows what you look like under your clothes," he tries to defend himself but you shake your head, letting a smile form on your lips.

"Yeah... right... doesn't sound like jealousy at all," you tease and lean back, pulling your leg up into the seat. You take a sip out of your straw and notice there's a hole so you stand to get a new one.

"Where are you going?" Jeongin snaps at you, his attention solely on you standing.

"Do I have to tell you before I do everything or can I get a new straw by myself like a big girl?" you mock him. That's something that your boyfriend has told you before especially gets under his skin.

"Don't piss me off, babe," he adds the nickname through clenched teeth and you chuckle, walking towards the counter and leaning onto it. Your ex turns his attention to you and a smile takes up his face.

"May I have a new straw, please?" You ask and he nods, handing you a new straw. Your fingers graze for a second and you smile at him.

"Thank you," you turn to walk back to the table but run smack into Jeongin's chest when you turn around. His hand wraps around your lower back and pulls your sweater down to cover your legging clad butt. A pair of leggings that Jeongin himself particularly enjoys.

"We're leaving. Behave," Jeongin speaks up and you feel a blush creep up your neck. He doesn't even attempt to hide his frustrated tone with you and you're embarrassed to admit that your instinct is to automatically submit to him.

You turn to say bye to your ex but his eyes are locked behind you, looking at Jeongin. You feel your boyfriend's arm wrap around you and he grabs your chin, pressing a kiss to your lips, obviously proving a point.

He guides you out of the shop by your lower back before you have time to process the sudden act of PDA and before you could say your goodbyes. He's speed walking, not letting his hand leave your back until you've reached your place.

"Babe you need to-"

"He was looking at you like a piece of meat. He was probably remembering exactly what every square inch of you looks like... what you feel like. I'm..." he trails off and lets out a sigh, punching your code into the door before opening it and stepping in, locking it behind you.

"You're jealous?" you question, crossing your arms over your chest. He sighs again, running a hand through his hair before turning to face you.

"I'm jealous. So fucking jealous. I wish you were mine all along," he confesses and steps towards you, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I'm your's now, Innie," you reassure him and wrap your arms around his waist. He bring both his hands to either side of your face and his eyes drop to your lips for a moment.

"Say my name. Tell me you're mine and say my name," his tone is demanding and you can't help but obey him.

"I'm your's, Yang Jeongin. Nobody else's. I'm all your's. Forever," you promise him and he nods, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours before pulling back.

"I'm still mad at you," he leans down again and presses a kiss to your neck, making you let out a low groan.

"Mm.. for what?" you breathe out when he finds your sweet spot on your neck and starts to suck. You're surprised there isn't a permanent mark there from how often he leaves a hickey.

"Not introducing me as your boyfriend," he mumbles against your neck and you roll your eyes, although he can't see you.

"You'll live," you reply and his hands sneakily make their way to your ass, gripping it through the leggings.

"You wore these leggings that drive me crazy. You had this cute little sweater hiked up, showing my ass to everyone in the shop. Including that dumbass," he's whispering into your neck before his hands creep up the back of your sweater.

"Don't you want to apologize?" He prompts you again and sits back but you lean forward and press your lips to his instead. He lets you push him against the wall before he retakes control, slowly backing you towards a lounge chair before settling into it and letting you straddle his lap.

His hand make quick work of your sweater, pulling it over your head before reattaching his lips to yours. One of his hand makes its way into your leggings and cups your heat, making you moan into his mouth.

"So wet," he mumbles against your lips before maneuvering you out of your leggings and underwear, leaving you only in a bra while he's still fully clothed. He grabs you back into his lap but instead pushes one leg between yours, making you straddle his thigh.

You slip your hands under his shirt but he grabs your wrist, settling your hands instead on his shoulders and shaking his head at you.

"You shouldn't have made that comment about thinking about the head that that dipshit used to give you. I could make you feel better with just my thigh," He grumbles at you before his hands settle on your hips and he guides you up and down the fabric of his sweatpants, making your head fall back at the friction.

He looks down at the wet patch that you've already left and chuckles to himself before guiding your hips against his leg faster. Before long, he is barely helping you anymore and you're desperately bucking, pleading for your orgasm to wash over you.

"I-I need help. I need more," you whimper out but before you can say anything else, your boyfriend's middle and ring finger are tapping against your lips. You let your mouth instinctively fall open and he pushes his fingers in. Your lips enclose around his fingers and you suck just like you know he likes.

"All I want to hear from your mouth is you apologizing for how you acted today," His tone is sharp and you speed up on his leg, desperately chasing your high. You open your mouth, a moan falling out.

"I'm- I'm sorry, Innie. I'm so fucking sorry. Please help me. More. I need more," you words are muffled with his fingers still pressing against your tongue but he understands you enough.

He brings his other hand down between where the two of you are connected and inserts two fingers, pressing the palm of his hand against your clit. Your head falls back and an obscene moan leaves your mouth when you start riding his fingers.

"Cum for me, baby. I feel you," his voice is husky and sends you over the edge quickly, especially when he forces his fingers back into your mouth.

[wee-chlo]

I'm rereading Harry Potter and it's baffling how people just... pretend Snape was a completely different person than who he actually was?

Granted, Alan Rickman's Snape and Book Snape are two genuinely different people, to the point that I think Movie Snape would be mildly disgusted by Book Snape. Movie Snape came off more as someone who was angry and spiteful to a select few for reasons that ranged from Understandable to Irrationally Petty, but generally very grim and stern, with a good heart beneath it all. Book Snape is a piece of shit.

Movie Snape doesn't have the same cruelty as Book Snape: his targeting of anyone other than Harry is framed in a more slapstick way and his teaching isn't neary as abusive. Neville being terrified of him doesn't have the same implicit showcasing of Snape being abusive but rather Snape being stern and unforgiving while Neville is meek and needs positive reinforcement to flourish.

Movie Snape is stoic, deadpan. I saw a clip of Rickman on YouTube and either he, a commenter, or both noted that a touchstone of Rickman's performance for Snape was that he didn't raise his voice. Not so in the books, where Snape's described several times loosing his temper and screaming, even shrieking. Snape is terrifyingly volatile in the books, in contrast to the movies where even at his most furious, most emotional, he remains in control of himself.

Book Snape is, unambiguously, just a bad person. Not just a bad teacher, a bad PERSON. He is a small, bitter, petty bully who shouldn't be anywhere near children, and honestly Dumbledore letting him near children is probably more of an indictment of Dumbledore's character than the fact that he used to be a wizard supremacist.

And to be clear, while teenage Snape isn't AS bad as adult Snape by virtue of being a teenager... he was also just Not Good. He ran around with Wizard Nazis. Lily called him out on that, on the fact that he was clearly ready and rearing to join Voldemort, that he used Dark Magic on other students alongside his death eater buddies, etc.

James and Co were little shits who teased and picked on students. But Remus and Sirius made a point that Snape and James had a uniquely, mutually hostile relationship. Remus and Sirius state directly that ultimately, one of the primary reasons James targeted Snape was because Snape was "up to his eyeballs in the Dark Arts and James hated the Dark Arts".

I've seen people use the fact that James never apologized to Snape as an indictment of James' character but like... when and why would he have apologized?

Genuinely, I think if Snape had made a good faith effort to be a better person BEFORE the death of the Potters, James may have apologized. But Snape at the time of James' death was a literal wizard nazi and honestly? I can't see him feeling terribly bad about bullying him, or at least not feeling obliged to apologize. And even if he had, how would he have done so? Send an owl to wizard nazi HQ?

But I think the thing that made me bristle the most about the books was the gaslighting that happened in book 6.

Remus is... going through it in that book, fair enough, but when Harry is talking to him about his suspicious, he gently accuses Harry of "inheriting James' and Sirius' prejudice" and being "determined to hate [Snape]". Like.... I'm sorry, but did Remus get hit in the head? Are we supposed to just casually forget EVERYTHING SNAPE HAS SAID AND DONE TO HARRY IN THE LAST FIVE BOOKS?!

If anyone came into it with an inherited prejudice and a determination to hate, it was Snape.

Justice for Book 6 Harry, everyone's treating him like he's bonkers but he's right.

[palms-upturned]

I’m not gonna jump in ppl’s notes over this bc lord knows I do not want to have a debate about it but seeing someone say “I have qualms about people calling Jean ableist for trying to fire Harry and in the same breath saying Harry is unfit for cop work” is really getting to me. I am practically on my knees begging people to actually engage with what disco elysium has to say about disability and addiction and ableism and policing and social murder because it’s not even subtextual, it’s as blatant and hand holding as it could possibly be. The 41st is an awful environment for Harry not bc him being disabled makes him incapable of doing his job, it’s bc the job is fucking hostile to his existence. Like, no one is “fit” to be a cop because they shouldn’t exist, firstly, and even Harry himself will say as much in the Ruby bad ending. But talking about Harry’s case specifically, we know that this job is part of what landed him where he is to begin with.

From the start of day 2:

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — You mean why are you so tired? Too tired and *down* to even think? It *is* worrying, isn't it. You can't be a detective like this -- detectives need to be able to think.

YOU — Why is this happening?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — It's just that your heart has finally pumped all the *speed* out of your system, buster. Time to get some more.

YOU — Wait. What *is*... speed?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Speed is a potent central nervous system stimulant. It kept you propped up all day yesterday despite your debilitating hangover. How else did you think you even got up from this floor?

VOLITION — You got up from this floor because of a holy vow you made sixteen years ago. With *me*. To wake up exactly 07:30 every morning until the day you die.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Don't be silly. There was no vow. You were high on speed. That was the only reason you got up. You can't *detect* without it, it's that simple.

YOU — No. I can take this. I am not going to go looking for speed.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Are you sure? Ready to live as this pathetic shell of yourself for days? Basically a week? Let's be honest -- two weeks, maybe three? You won't make it. Half the town will be dead by then. You will be fired.

YOU — That's a lie. I can do this without the speed. Half the town won't be dead... (Opt out.)

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Suit yourself, slow, sad shell-man. See how you do without your spark.

And from this talk with Kim in Klaasje’s room:

KIM KITSURAGI — "Amphetamine -- does it make you a better detective?"

SUGGESTION — Be honest. He's not grilling you, he just wants to know. Ask if he's ever wanted to take it too.

YOU — "Honestly, it makes me the detective I am. Have you thought of taking it too?"

KIM KITSURAGI — "Maybe I should?" He lets out a little pensive hum, rubbing his shoulder...

DRAMA — It's not insincere. He's actually giving it thought.

KIM KITSURAGI — "Doesn't the... pupils and the gurning jaw, the sweating... doesn't it become tiring after a while?"

YOU — "I understand it's unbecoming but if I don't perform this job well I am nothing. It's the price I pay."

Harry knows that the cost of getting sober would be that the precinct would let him go. They’re not going to have the patience to deal with him slowing down from the combo of withdrawal and no speed to “keep him propped up.” Not when the reason that he’s stayed on the force this long and risen in the ranks is most likely because he manages such a massive caseload, as we find out from Kim:

YOU — "Is two cases a week a good case load, lieutenant?"

KIM KITSURAGI — "Huh?" He raises his nose from his notes. "Two *complex* cases to undertake is a lot, yes. You *really* have to push yourself. I would not suggest it. Lest you start making mistakes."

YOU — "Two cases a week appears to have been my load, lieutenant. I'm not sure I completed them though."

KIM KITSURAGI — "Two?" He raises both eyebrows. "That's a lot. I didn't mean to say you're making mistakes, by the way. That was presumptuous of me."

And later:

KIM KITSURAGI — "This next row -- the one that wraps all the way around -- is your number of closed cases. *Closed* is good. It means finished. You've got, let's see..."

KIM KITSURAGI — "Wow, more than 200!"

YOU — "Is that a lot?"

KIM KITSURAGI — "It's *quite* a lot, even for someone who's been on the force for nearly two decades. Usually clearing more than 10 cases a year puts you in the 90th percentile of *all* RCM officers..."

Despite the trouble Harry makes, he’s considered an asset so long as he closes cases. To the point where he wasn’t punished for drunkenly beating Burke unconscious and then injuring his knee so badly that he can’t walk anymore just because this allowed them to close the “unsolvable case” of Leslie and Burke. 41 and the RCM as an institution don’t care about Harry’s or anyone else’s wellbeing, they care about whether the pros of having him around outweigh the cons.

From the lazareth call with Gottlieb:

YOU — "Isn't there *anything* you can do for me?"

NIX GOTTLIEB — "What, you want me to do blood work for you again, tell you just how bad things really are *across the board*? You want another rundown of everything collapsing inside your body?"

YOU — "Yes. I want the truth!"

NIX GOTTLIEB — "You want the real, honest-to-god truth? Stop drinking, eat magnesium and vitamin D. Our station is not a retirement home. We don't have the funds to deal with *rock stars* past their prime."

RHETORIC — So it's political! You're being *neglected* because of political reasons...

NIX GOTTLIEB — "And no, I *don't* want to hear a *political commentary* on the topic. In fact -- I've got work to do."

If I were to quote every time Gottlieb was notably uncaring or said something blasé about how you probably didn’t have long to live, I’d have to quote pretty much every word of that dialogue. That’s the whole joke with Gottlieb. That’s just how it is dealing with doctors when you’re in Harry’s position.

From talking to Kim about Uuno:

KIM KITSURAGI — "We could take him to Remedie or Saint Batiste, but he doesn't have money for medical services. The Almshouse would turn him down..."

KIM KITSURAGI — "They don't do charity for people who're trying to kill themselves. Besides, he'll be dead in a few..." The lieutenant stops, listening to him.

RHETORIC — ... years? Months? Weeks?

“They don’t do charity work for people who’re trying to kill themselves” really sums up the absurdity of Harry’s situation and institutional responses to it. Harry isn’t seen as the kind of person in crisis who deserves intervention. He’s treated as a lost cause who deserves to suffer the consequences of his self harm, even though the unending crisis and the lack of response to it is what drives him to harm himself and hope that he “gets worse.” If he weren’t a cop, it’s unlikely that Kim would care about him any more than he cares about Uuno and Cuno’s situation. Harry’s job is killing him, but it’s also the only thing that gives him access to anything resembling a community or support network (at least at the start of the game). Again, that’s just the way it goes when you’re disabled.

From the second tribunal:

TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "Well -- here is my theory: What if this is an absolutely normal reaction to the world we're living in? What if this is *not* a significant anomaly at all, something to be explained, approached as a defect? Look at the sensory input here..." He gestures toward the scenery.

TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "Look at the ruins, the neon, listen to the radio, the multitudes. The people. Live here for forty years... As a police detective, he's like a magnetic reader on the world-tape -- to borrow a known metaphor. Harry's been pushed *flat against it*. Total input."

TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "Hard-wired to the free market..." He nods confidently. "He just needed for it to end."

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Okay, Trant, thank you. That's... absolutely meaningless. I'm glad we brought you. Will he or will he not be able to work in the Major Crimes Unit? Is he a cretin now? I want to know *that*."

TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "He is *not* a cretin. And he *is* able to do work -- if not in his previous leadership role, then as a line detective."

YOU — "Line detective is good for now."

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "For *now*?" He looks at you, then at Trant. "I misphrased my question. It should have been: Is he able to put his clothes on, and use the potty, or do we need to get him on a disability pension?"

Or, alternatively:

YOU — "He's wrong. I'm too far gone for work."

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Agreed, Harry." He nods. "Just don't expect us to get you a disability pension. Cops who actually gave a shit are waiting in line. You're not gonna hog their seat."

Trant, who, notably, is technically a civilian consultant rather than a cop, (edit: and maybe even more notably, as someone pointed out in the tags, has had experience with addiction, too) suggests to Jean that Harry’s breakdown is a basically inevitable result of his circumstances and the systems that created them, and Jean’s response is that he doesn’t care and all that he wants to know is whether or not Harry can work or if he’s going to be “hogging” resources from other people who are more deserving of help because they “actually gave a shit.” He’s a mouthpiece here for the institutions that he represents and his ableism is blatant and heinous to drive the point home. He denies that Harry’s case is as serious as it is and accuses Harry of faking it, despite the fact that it’s happened (at least) twice before, and very recently:

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "I believe you *drank*. People do that -- you especially. What they don't do is forget their *whole life* because of drinking."

JUDIT MINOT — "But, Detective Vicquemare," she interjects. "He *has* blanked out before."

YOU — "I have?"

JUDIT MINOT — "Yes, a couple of times. After some of the more... serious benders." She pauses, remembering. "One was after the Two Drunks case, the other when we looked into that mural."

REACTION SPEED — The two cases... in your ledger. The Unsolvable Case and the Next World Mural. Those were recent.

And despite the fact that even Gottlieb doesn’t seem shocked about it:

YOU — "I've lost my memory. All of it."

NIX GOTTLIEB — "With all the damage you've been dealing yourself with drugs and alcohol, I'm not surprised."

AUTHORITY — There is no surprise in his voice. Only careless superiority.

DRAMA — It's hard to say if he doesn't believe you -- or doesn't care.

(Considering that Gottlieb’s PSY stat is so high (he’s even eating one of the PSY boosting candies during the call), along with his uncaring responses to all your other problems, it’s more likely the latter.)

Jean also won’t believe that you’re sober even if you haven’t touched so much as a cigarette for your entire playthrough, and even when Judit points out that he’s wrong, he’ll double down and say that it doesn’t matter because you’re going to relapse:

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Even the insect -- I don't care. But you're an *alcoholic*. And you've been drinking -- again. I won't let my life unravel because of this."

JUDIT MINOT — "Jean -- I think he hasn't. I can see it on his face..."

ENDURANCE — The bloating *has* gone down since you woke up that morning...

JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Okay, so he's stayed clear for what? A week?" He sighs.

TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "It's tough. One of the toughest addictions to overcome. Comparable *only* to heavy synthetic opiates. Even morphine is easier to kick than alcohol -- statistically. The odds are against him. Especially at his age."

JEAN VICQUEMARE — He nods. "He's too old. He's been like this for too long. I've seen him try many times. It's a farce by now."

SUGGESTION — They're leaving. They're all turning away from you.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — No. You can figure it out. *Replace* it! Replace the alcohol with amphetamine. Or GBL! Fuck it -- morphine! Graffito removal agent! Anything. It'll buy you time. All you need is time.

Electrochemistry brings up yet another facet of Harry’s struggles with substances, which is the idea that some of them may be replacements for alcohol. He doesn’t have time or space to try to quit in any way that is remotely healthy. What he has are substances like speed that keep him from collapsing from the strain of it all so that he can keep showing up to work, and other substances that might (he hopes) help him wean himself off the alcohol.

The game explores all of these different factors of Harry’s struggles with addiction and the circumstances that keep him trapped in them exhaustively (and the fact that Robert Kurvitz apparently was recovering from alcoholism during the development probably contributed a lot to that). The structure and culture of the RCM are hugely responsible for Harry’s situation. He’s mocked and berated for being an alcoholic and told repeatedly to get his shit together without actually providing him with the means to do that. Instead, he’s not only enabled but practically forced to keep using just so that he can show up to work at all and not risk losing the only support network he has (even if it’s the shittiest and most unhelpful network imaginable). As Luiga (iirc) said, Harry’s biggest tragedy is that he’s incapable of quitting the force. Many of the reasons for that are genuinely just due to Harry being a class traitor and an asshole, but it’s also true that even if he did want to quit, there is no safety net to catch him.

And then Harry comes to Martinaise, a town that has been “orphaned” by the RCM and neglected by Revachol at large, left mostly to their own devices. It’s not like policing doesn’t still exist in Martinaise, and things are pretty dire for everyone in the community, but at the very least you can see that it is a community. Isobel houses you for free. In Kim’s absence (and after Gottlieb stitches and ditches you), Cuno and Garte take care of you when you’re shot. Acele responds to your breakdown on the ice by saying it’s okay to cry and that you can talk with her about it when you’re ready. Idiot Doom Spiral and co run to your aid when they see you drive your car into the sea and invite you to come drink with them just to stop you from doing it again. Harry discovers that life, while very painful and bleak at times, isn’t necessarily hopeless for the marginalized. You can still find solidarity and support outside of the system.

Meanwhile, if Harry in the end has no one to vouch for him and hasn’t stayed sober, that system will abandon him, a well-known suicide risk with at least one bullet hole in him and severe amnesia, with the promise of nothing but getting served a station call slip. The point is not whether or not Harry “deserves” to be forgiven or even whether he’s a danger to himself and others (to be clear, he is). The point is that this is a system that doesn’t care whether Harry and people like him live or die. That is why, even in a “good” ending where Harry is welcomed back to the 41st, the work won’t be sustainable. It’s going to kill him because that’s what it’s designed to do. The miracle of Martinaise was the realization that he doesn’t have to die. There are people who will help to keep him on this earth. They’re just not members of the fucking RCM.

It’s not a “gotcha” to say that if Jean (and the RCM, and the institutions of Revachol on the whole) is ableist for wanting Harry fired, then saying that cop work is unsustainable for Harry is also ableist. I won’t even say what I personally think of that logic because I’m trying to keep the tone of this post polite. Jean’s dialogue during the tribunal is meant to parrot every bit of ableist rhetoric that the system is built on and that keeps Harry trapped in this hellish feedback loop. He’s a mouthpiece for the general culture of the RCM, just like Gottlieb is a mouthpiece for the shit that addicts and the disabled have to deal with from the medical system. He thinks Harry should be fired because he’s a drunk and therefor a lost cause. The truth is that Harry needs to quit this job because it shouldn’t exist and because it is actively killing him.

In one of Martin Luiga’s articles about the process of creating the game, he brings up the concept of social murder, which is a term coined by Engels:

When one individual inflicts bodily injury upon another such that death results, we call the deed manslaughter; when the assailant knew in advance that the injury would be fatal, we call his deed murder. But when society places hundreds of proletarians in such a position that they inevitably meet a too early and an unnatural death, one which is quite as much a death by violence as that by the sword or bullet; when it deprives thousands of the necessaries of life, places them under conditions in which they cannot live – forces them, through the strong arm of the law, to remain in such conditions until that death ensues which is the inevitable consequence – knows that these thousands of victims must perish, and yet permits these conditions to remain, its deed is murder just as surely as the deed of the single individual; disguised, malicious murder, murder against which none can defend himself, which does not seem what it is, because no man sees the murderer, because the death of the victim seems a natural one, since the offence is more one of omission than of commission. But murder it remains.

None of this is subtext. And all of it is intended to make players actually spare a thought for what it’s like for people in Harry’s situation in real life. For God’s sake, please engage with it. You have to try and understand what it means to be trapped in a life that is made unlivable and to know that your death will be ungrievable. That’s what this whole game is about.

Edit: I’ve seen some ppl say in the tags something like “yeah, I like to imagine a happy ending for Harry, but…” and listen. I am laying a very gentle hand on your shoulders. The point of this post was never to say that there’s no happy ending for Harry. The point is that the first step toward that ending is conceptualizing a life outside of the RCM. In Martinaise, he got a glimpse of what that might look like. Hell, in the bad ending, you can even say to Jean, “fine then. I’ll just live here.” There’s hope for him and for us. I promise.

[howtofightwrite]

Was reading through your torture tag and noticed a lot of stuff that was being said seemed to contradict things that were said on the scripttorture blog... do you have any suggestions on how to clear things up? Im not sure which things to trust

And you're asking us, because they've posted once in the last two years?

I'll admit, I have a fairly low opinion of them, and that's not directly their fault. For years, one of their fans, would regularly send some pretty incendiary asks our way. In fact, some of the less hostile ones were answered, and may be the posts you were looking at. Understandably, the ones simply accusing us of being torture apologists, demanding we redirect all our asks to their blog, or insisted that we should sit down and shut up, did not make the cut. With that in mind, please understand, I'm not going to go digging through their blog to refresh my memory, so some of this might be slightly skewed by the aforementioned deranged fan.

Look for the blog that does not constantly contradict or misrepresent their authoritative sources. Which is to say, if you actually pay attention to Shane O'Mara's work, it's basically what we've been saying all along.

If you're unfamiliar, O'Mara is a Neurologist who was (last I time I checked) working at Trinity College Dublin. He published a, frankly fascinating piece, called, Why Torture Doesn't Work, in which, he set about trying to answer why torture is an ineffective tool for intelligence gathering. O'Mara also had the misfortune of being the only expert who said anything close to the perspective Scripttorture wanted on torture.

An open secret about torture is that it is completely worthless for getting accurate information. This has been widely understood for centuries, if not millennia. O'Mara's question was, “why?”

It turns out, that the neurochemical trauma associated with torture, seriously interferes with your ability to accurately access information. For example: If you're being tortured, you can't tell your torturer where you planted the ticking bomb, because your brain literally can't access those memories.

Torture is evil. Yeah. No shit.

And, this is where ScriptTorture stops. “Torture is bad,” and Jack Bauer is an incredibly unrealistic fantasy, end of story.

Except, this is not the end of this.

Now, generally speaking, I don't blame anyone who wants to get off the ride here. Torture is an unpleasant subject, and wanting to stop at, “oh, it's evil,” is entirely reasonable... unless you want to write on the subject, or if you do political analysis and need to understand why people break out the torture implements.

More than that, this is where my academic background in political science actually comes into play. I'm not saying this as an Eagle Scout who had a couple overly enthusiastic hand to hand instructors when I was a kid. This is (part of) what I studied in college, and I have kept an eye on it since then.

If torture didn't work, you wouldn't see state-sponsored torture pop up repeatedly throughout history. It would not be one of the favorite tools of dictators and despots. However, because it does, and it is, simply saying, “it doesn't work,” isn't instructive or meaningful because it's clearly untrue. Someone is finding value in this, so it becomes important to understand what they are doing, and why they are doing it.

When you torture someone, the information they provide is basically madlibs of whatever leaked through their brain. They want the pain and stress to stop, and they'll say anything they can to make that happen. That often takes the form of what they think their torturer wants to hear. O'Mara's research does explain why they don't simply cough up the truth.

So, why do it?

Torture is a very labor intensive process. You (as an individual) can't, realistically, torture multiple victims at a time, and it is a very drawn out process. Some elements can be automated, your torturer doesn't need to be present at every moment, but they're going to spend hours, if not days, working on one victim. Worse, this is actually a technical profession. It's not like you can just pull in anyone off the street and get the results you want. (Though, technically, this doesn't seem to be as true, however, amateurs do have a shocking capacity to screw up torture. So, the point remains valid.)

The value of torture has almost nothing to do with the victim. It's about the message it sends to everyone else.

Torture is about mass coercion of the population. When you are the state (meaning, the government), and you torture someone, you are telling your citizens that you are willing to do the same to them, if they oppose you.

State-sponsored torture is specifically a tool to suppress political engagement. It is, quite literally, state-sponsored, domestic terrorism.

This even holds true in cases where the state employs torture to extract confessions from criminal suspects. The message sent into the general population is that dissent of any kind will not be tolerated, and that the state has the willingness and power to turn these tools on you if you draw their ire.

I get that this is outside of ScriptTorture's area of expertise, and in fairness, I probably would not have studied this with any intensity, if I hadn't taken multiple classes on revolutionary theory.

Torture from private organizations (which is to say, organized crime, and religious institutions, though cults and some other groups might fit this description as well), follows roughly similar patterns. These tend to do the same things, discouraging dissent, and establishing the organization as having power over the population (or community.) (The technical term would be to “establish capacity.” Which is to say, the organization's capacity to enforce its will. The same term applies to states, though in those cases, the state's capacity is often overestimated by its population. It's only when it starts to falter, for example through military defeats or serious civil unrest, that they really need the capacity boosting part of this equation.)

Zealotry or stupidity can create situations where you have a torturer (or, more likely, someone in a position of power ordering the torture) who believes that it is effectively compelling the truth from the victim. This (or amateurs) can easily lead into a distinct problem, which is that all of this has diminishing returns. Torture one person, and you send a loud, clear message. Torture ten, and all you've added to it is that you're willing to keep going. However, as you start stacking up the victims, you do start sending a new message to your enemies, that being, you're going to get to them sooner or later so it's in their best interest to respond now, mobilize and retaliate proactively, before you get to them. This means that a state which leans heavily on torture can easily instigate the civil unrest that exposes their limited capacity leading to a political death spiral. Alternately, if the state does have the capacity to put down the resulting unrest, it further reinforces their position (which does happen with depressing frequency in the real world.)

You're also going to create new enemies in the friends, family, and loved ones, of the people you tortured. This means that any organization that relies on extensive use of torture will, eventually, start tying a noose around its own neck. (Granted, there are a lot of social dynamics that I'm skimming over here, so it's not exactly as simple as “if the state tortures lots of people, it will result in increasing unrest.”)

If you want a partial citation for the above, you can (ironically) find it in a podcast interview with Shane O'Mara, when he explained why torture has been employed repeatedly through history. (Specifically I think it was episode 15 of Your Welcome, by Michael Malice. Though, I'm not 100% sure off hand.) Though that doesn't cover some of the more in depth elements I just discussed. Some of this is coming from a textbook on revolutionary theory I can't locate (it disappeared in a move a few years back.) Though that was more interested in the general structure of a state destabilizing into internecine conflict. Ironically, my preferred citation on torture, Fear up Harsh by Tony Lagouranis is mostly uninformative in this case, because his experiences were on the ground, rather than from a structural understanding of what his job was really doing. However, he does illustrate my comment about amateurs making even more of a mess, both through personal experiences with a few, and also through the eventual trajectory of the invasion and occupation of Iraq.

But of course, torture is evil... again, no shit. Was that really a question? And, I'm apparently a torture apologist for having a structural understanding of why evil people do evil things. Cool. Evil people don't do evil things because they're evil, they do them because they gain some tangible benefit from those acts, and they do not care about the consequences to anyone else. If you ask someone, “why do people do this?” and their answer is, “it's simple; they're evil,” that person is lying. They may be lying to themselves, but they are lying to you.

Why do people use torture? It's a lot more complicated, and unpleasant, than you'd expect at a simple overview.

-Starke

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[genshinluvr]

Trouble in Paradise

Pairings: Various Honkai Star Rail Men x Isekai'd!Reader

Summary: Nanook has always communicated with you through your dreams because both you and Nanook are connected with each other. But now that Nanook has taken a human form, there's no need to communicate through your dreams! You were certain that it was just Nanook who could communicate with you through your dreams until Phantylia showed up.

Note: Not really sure how I feel about this fic 🤔 I guess the best way I can describe my feelings for it would be a love-hate relationship! I was going to post this fic way earlier, but I decided to push the publication time back. I really want to write this one fic, but I need to see how it goes because the isekai'd!reader isn't really isekai'd... but I guess it can be? There are isekais out there that have a reincarnation theme, right? 🥲 If so, maybe that can be a good way for me to have Dan Heng transform into Dan Heng IL :'> Anyway! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: A tiny bit of angst, but it doesn't last long (I think). Reader is sleep deprived (aren't we all?)

Word Count: 6.1k

You open your eyes, and you’re in the void. You sit up, looking around quizzically. The last thing you remembered was going to sleep in the comfort of your bed in the Astral Express. Now, you’re in the void, floating through endless space. The last time you were in the void was before Nanook took human form and accompanied you and the others on your trailblazing adventures. A large shadow soon looms over you, causing you to tense up with fear. A seductive yet mischievous giggle echoes the void. The giggle sounds familiar, and yet you’re having a hard time pinpointing who the giggle belongs to.

“So you’re [Y/N],” a woman says.

You didn’t dare to look at the woman, fearing you were going to be correct on who the voice belonged to. You’ve heard this voice before. The same voice belongs to the woman who tried to convert Jing Yuan into a member of the Antimatter Legion. The same woman who impersonated Tingyun. 

The woman towering over you from behind sighs. “Oh, don’t be like that now. Nanook wouldn’t be pleased if he knows you’re treating me like this,” she coos.

You clenched your jaws and squeezed your hands into tight fists. How dare she use Nanook to get you to face her. You slowly turn around to face the woman towering over you. She smiles with mirth, propping her elbows on nothing, tilting her head to the side while gazing at you with interest. 

“Why did you bring me here, Phantylia?” You demand.

Phantylia smirks and leans back, sighing. “Why are you so hostile? I did nothing to you, and yet you’re acting this way toward me?” Phantylia asks, pouting at you mockingly. 

There are many reasons for you to be hostile. One is her trying to convert Jing Yuan to be a member of the Antimatter Legion, and the other is her mentioning Nanook. What does Nanook have to do with whatever is going on between you and Phantylia? You cross your arms over your chest and glare at the woman.

“You didn’t answer my question, Phantylia,” you hiss, narrowing your eyes at her. 

Phantylia sighs, rolling her eyes. “Am I not allowed to meet the person the Aeon of Destruction is fawning over?” Phantylia asks, raising her eyebrows at you.

No, no, she is not. In fact, you did not want to meet her at all, nor did you think about meeting the woman before you. You don’t know how she managed to bring you into this void without being connected with you, like how you are with Nanook. It’s mind-boggling and a little bit terrifying. If she can bring you into this void without having any connections with you, then she can do something else to you— like taking your body as a vessel and killing you afterward. 

You take a deep breath and exhale through your nostrils, trying to remain calm. If you snap at her, who knows what Phantylia will do to you. There’s nowhere to run, and you don’t think she will let you wake up from this “dream” and escape her presence easily. What you find strange is Phantylia wanting to meet you out of nowhere. Does Nanook know about Phantylia wanting to meet you? Nanook didn’t even mention Phantylia once.

You sit on the floor before Phantylia. “Well, you and I have officially met! Is there anything else you want to say to me? I didn’t expect to meet you so soon, nor do I expect to meet you this way,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

Phantylia gazes down at your crossed arms and chuckles with amusement. “Why the hostile gesture? I am here to meet you, nothing else, little star,” Phantylia coos.

She reaches toward you and brushes your hair away from your face with her index finger. You merely flinch when her long nail grazes your forehead. You’re not used to someone of her size touching your face— aside from Nanook, but that is a different story. Nanook is the one who brought you into this universe, not Phantylia. The woman before you clicks her tongue softly and leans forward, her face a few inches from yours.

You scoot back to create distance between you and Phantylia, only for her to sigh with dissatisfaction. You’re not sure why she wanted to meet you so badly. You can go your entire life without having to meet her, and yet here you are, sitting in front of Phantylia in the endless void where you and Nanook would meet every time you go to sleep. The space you once considered your safe space when you wanted to escape from the world around you. The void was the first place you woke up in when you arrived in their universe, and the abyss is where you and Nanook first meet before you regained consciousness, woken up by Caelus attempting to give you CPR.

“You’re adorable, you know that? I can see why Nanook is so… enamored with you,” Phantylia chuckles, shaking her head. “However….” she trails off, tapping her chin.

You raise your eyebrows at her, frowning at her sudden change of behavior. First, she talks about Nanook being in love with you, but then she decides to throw in something equivalent to a ‘but?’ You don’t like where this is going.

“‘However’ what?” You demand, a deep frown etching on your face. 

Phantylia hums softly, leaning away from you with a soft sigh. She brushes her hair from her shoulders and taps her bicep with her index finger. The void around you seems to be getting darker and darker as time passes. You don’t know how long you have been in this void with Phantylia, but you have a feeling it might be longer compared to the time you and Nanook spent in the abyss together. Then again, every time you find yourself in the void, your friends make sure you don’t stay in the void for a long time. 

Phantylia suddenly laughs. “Do you think Nanook is going to love you forever?” She asks suddenly.

You blink at Phantylia, confused. “What are you saying, Phantylia? Spit it out and let me return to my world,” you sigh.

She laughs again. “Your world? Your world?! Oh, please! You’re not from this world, little star. Just because Nanook brought you here does not mean you belong here— like how he doesn’t belong to you,” Phantylia huffs, crossing her arms over her chest like a petulant child. 

Oh.

Oh.

Huh….

She’s jealous of what you have with Nanook. How strange. Does Phantylia have feelings for Nanook the entire time? Even if she does have feelings for the Aeon of Destruction, you don’t play a factor in how their “relationship” plays out. Plus, you’re a bystander who was dragged into this world because the Aeon of Destruction has taken a liking to you. 

You hold your hands up. “Listen, Phantylia. You’re not wrong about me not being from this world. I don’t think you should be going around and telling me that I don’t belong here,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest with a frown.

Phantylia scoffs and rolls her eyes. “And why is that? Are you hurt that I said it, or are you hurt over the fact that what I said is true?” Phantylia asks.

You poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue. You don’t like being in the void anymore. You don’t want to be stuck in the same area as Phantylia. You have seen the damages she can cause, but you don’t want to deal with it, nor do you want to deal with her jealousy. Great, now you’re going to be waking up in a bad mood. You’re going to talk to Nanook when you wake up. That is if Phantylia isn’t going to keep you imprisoned, of course. 

“You interpret that however you want. Nanook and I aren’t dating, and, like you said, I don’t belong here.” You shrug your shoulders. 

The abyss of endless stars around you slowly fades away as you find yourself slowly waking up from a nightmare you were trapped in. You open your eyes to see many faces peering down at you, all gazing at you with worry. You rub your eyes and slowly sit up with the help of Caelus and March.

“Are you okay? Nanook rushed to us when you weren’t waking up,” March says, sitting beside you.

You nod, still groggy from your sleep. “I’m fine….” you trailed off.

Phantylia’s words continue to echo in your head. You don’t belong here. Nanook doesn’t belong to you. Heck, none of these men belong to you, so why are you upset over what Phantylia said? She’s not wrong— in fact, she’s right. 

Caelus sits on the other side of your bed. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look shaken up,” Caelus says, rubbing the small of your back.

You tried to smile at Caelus, only for it to come out as a grimace. “Yeah, I’m fine, Caelus,” you whisper, looking at the floor of your bedroom.

You can feel their eyes stare holes into your body while you space out. Should you tell them about Phantylia? You haven’t been dragged into that void since the incident, and Phantylia somehow manages to bring you back. Phantylia was able to keep you in that void for quite some time, not allowing you to leave.

How strong is her bond with Nanook? She is infatuated with Nanook, and yet Nanook is (according to Phantylia) enamored with you. What if the feelings Nanook felt toward you were merely temporary? What happens when the feelings are gone? Will Nanook return you back to your world? 

Dan Heng raises his eyebrows at you, crossing his arms over his chest. “Care to tell us why you didn’t wake up when many of us have tried waking you up?” Dan Heng asks.

You press your lips into a thin line. It looks like you’ll have to say what’s preventing you from waking up from a rude awakening. You just know that somewhere, Phantylia is sitting back with her arms crossed over her chest with a smug smile. If only you were the same size as Phantylia so you could give her a piece of your mind, but she has the upper hand in everything. 

“You don’t have to tell us if you’re not comfortable with it, sweetheart,” Mr. Yang reassures you, kneeling before you and giving your knee a comforting squeeze.

You sigh and look down at your hands on your lap. “I realize that I don’t belong here, nor would I ever belong here, no matter how much time has passed,” you whisper.

Dear Aeons. Why are you lying to them about what’s bothering you? Nanook steps forward, his eyebrows furrowed. Nanook looks like he wants to say something. Is he going to tell you he never had feelings for you in the first place and leave for Phantylia? Nanook looks visibly startled.

Nanook lets out a shaky sigh. “Little One, how do you know Phantylia?” Nanook asks, grabbing everyone’s attention.

Oh, fuck. You forgot Nanook can read your mind because you two have this connection with each other. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Is there a way for you to block Nanook from reading any more of your thoughts? This is not good. You’re fucked. Caelus, Dan Heng, March, and Mr. Yang looks at you quizzically while you dig your nails into the palm of your hands. There’s no way out of this now that Nanook got everyone’s attention regarding Phantylia. 

“Did Phantylia do something by any chance? Did you have a dream about her?” March asks.

You hug your knees to your chest and shake your head. “A dream? No. Did she do something to me? Possibly,” you mumble.

You woke up not long ago, and you’re already being interrogated over the woman who’s in love with the Aeon of Destruction. You don’t like the power she holds over your thoughts. Your headspace is occupied by the things she said to you, and you’re certain that Nanook hears it all but doesn’t want to say anything about it because he wants you to say it yourself. 

“Hey, hey, hey! We’re here!” Sampo says, entering your bedroom with more men beside him.

Gepard sighs in relief and walks to you, trying to keep a calm exterior. “Are you alright? We were informed that you weren’t waking up from your slumber, and we all rushed to the Astral Express as soon as we could,” Gepard explains.

You smile at Gepard, squeezing his hands when he slips his hand into yours. From the corner of your eyes, you notice Nanook tensing up at the mere sight of the small public display of affection between you and Gepard. You squeeze Gepard’s hand one more time before releasing his hand.

“You know how Nanook and I communicate with each other through my ‘dreams’ or when I’m unconscious?” You ask, peeking up at the others.

Luka’s eyes widen, and his eyebrows shoot to his hairline. “What?! No! This is news to me!” Luka exclaims, propping his hands on his hips.

Oh, right. You forgot Luka is still unaware of many things and perhaps your place of origin. You make a mental note to catch Luka up to speed with everything once this is over. You just want Phantylia to leave you alone. You have an inkling feeling that this isn’t going to be the last time you encounter her. 

“As you were saying?” Luocha says, leaning against the wall with his arms over his chest.

You let out a long exhale and squeeze your thighs. You don’t know what’s going to happen after you tell them what’s going on regarding Phantylia. Still, you hope it won’t be too serious. 

You then go into detail on what happened while you were unconscious— from being in the same void you encountered Nanook when you first arrived in their universe to Phantylia being the one to tower over you in this dream to Phantylia telling you that you don’t belong to this universe, etc. It was a lot to process, and the more you said it out loud, the more you realized how crazy you sounded.

“Nanook, how can Phantylia get into contact with [Y/N] when the two of them aren’t connected?” Jing Yuan asks, turning to look at the Aeon of Destruction. 

Nanook has been silent the entire time you explained the situation to everyone. Nanook strokes his chin, skimming through the possibilities of Phantylia managing to communicate with you despite never meeting you or having any connections with you. 

You shake your head and chuckle bitterly. “I don’t think Nanook has the answer to your question, Jing Yuan. Besides, Phantylia is correct about a few things,” you mutter, tapping your fingers on your knees.

Blade raises his eyebrows at you. “And what is that exactly?” Blade asks, now standing at the foot of your bed.

“I don’t belong here, and how Nanook doesn’t belong to me. In fact, none of you belong to me, which is understandable since I’m not dating any of you. Because I’ve been taken from my world and thrown into yours, I’m an anomaly. I don’t belong here, nor would I ever belong here,” you explain.

As depressing as it sounds, it’s also a fact. You don’t belong in their universe, and you’re here because Nanook has taken a liking to you. Nanook didn’t want to be separated from you because of the computer monitor. Nanook somehow brought you into their universe because the Aeon of Destruction couldn’t stand being far from you. 

“Little One—”

You stand up abruptly and cross your arms over your chest. “How does Phantylia know about me? How does she know how to communicate with me through my dreams like you did? Did you tell her?” You demand.

Nanook goes silent and frowns. You chuckle bitterly and shake your head, running your hands through your hair. You don’t want to deal with this conversation right now. You need to clear your mind and distance yourself from Nanook. It’s not reasonable, but until you have a full understanding of how Phantylia is able to trap you in your dreams temporarily to speak to you, you don’t want to deal with Nanook.

“Can everyone please leave? I need time and space to clear my mind, and having everyone in here is overwhelming me,” you murmur.

Mr. Yang nods. “Of course. We will be coming by to check up on you and give you food, alright?” Mr. Yang says.

You nod and sit on the edge of your bed, avoiding everyone’s eyes as they gradually trickle out of your bedroom. Nanook is the last one to leave your room. You and Nanook stare at each other, not saying a word. You silently gestured for him to leave your room. Nanook sighs and exits your room. Once the door to your room slides closed, you lay on your bed and close your eyes.

You want to go back to sleep and sleep the frustrations away. Still, you’re worried that Phantylia will reappear in your dreams, holding you hostage and telling you that you don’t belong in this universe. You hate how she’s right, and you have nothing against her for saying that. Sort of. You have decided not to sleep because what if Phantylia reappears in your dreams and repeats the things she said over and over?

If she wants you to return to your world so badly, then you can’t really do what she wants. How are you going to return to your world if Nanook was the one that brought you to this universe? You know Nanook will refuse to return you back to your world. There’s a very slim chance Nanook would do that, but it’s very unlikely.

You hear a knock coming from your bedroom door. You close your eyes and try to ignore the knocking coming from the door, but the longer the person behind the door knocks, the more you start to get irritated. You get off your bed and walk to the door. You slide the door open to see Pom-Pom standing at the entrance of your room.

“Oh, Pom-Pom. What are you doing here?” You ask.

Pom-Pom props his hands on his hips. “I heard my favorite passenger is upset, and I’m here to provide comfort,” Pom-Pom says, waddling into your room.

As much as you wanted to reject Pom-Pom’s offer, you don’t have the heart to do it. You shut the door behind Pom-Pom before returning to your bed. You lay on your bed and hug your second pillow to your chest. Your pillow smells like Nanook. Despite not having an official title with the Aeon of Destruction, it does seem like he’s your boyfriend.

You don’t mind calling Nanook your boyfriend, but you’re aware of the others having feelings for you. Since Nanook is possessive and makes it known that he doesn’t like people going near you— especially those who have romantic feelings for you, they never make a move on you.

“Pom-Pom?” You whisper.

Pom-Pom hops on your bed and sits beside you, letting his feet hang at the edge of your bed. “Yes, [Y/N]?”

You bite the inside of your cheek. You didn’t want to burden the conductor with your plaguing thoughts. But Pom-Pom insisted on comforting you, and you really appreciate it. It would be best if you talk to the others about it, but you can’t get yourself to do it. What if you said the wrong thing, and everything goes downhill from there?

You take a deep breath. “Do you think I belong on the Astral Express?”

Pom-Pom looks at you incredulously. “Of course I do! No matter what background my passengers are from, you’re always welcome to the Astral Express!” says Pom-Pom.

You chuckle and pat Pom-Pom’s head. Now that you think about it, your main issue isn’t feeling jealous over what Nanook and Phantylia have— your problem is whether you truly belong in this universe or not. Everyone has welcomed you with open arms despite being from another universe. 

Pom-Pom frowns and looks at you worriedly. “Did something happen? Who told you that you don’t belong here!? Tell me their names!” Pom-Pom demands, kicking his feet angrily.

“The ‘person’ that said it isn’t on the Astral Express, Pom-Pom. This ‘person’ is like Nanook, but not an Aeon,” you say, running your fingers through your tangled hair.

Pom-Pom huffs angrily and sighs, reaching over to pat your head. You smile at Pom-Pom and lay there in silence. You’re tired, and you want to go back to sleep, but you’re afraid that she will be in your dreams like the last time. Pom-Pom leaves your room fifteen minutes later, leaving you alone in the comfort of your room.

Days go by, and you have yet to speak to anyone on the Astral Express aside from Pom-Pom and Himeko. Nanook is sleeping in his (temporary) room while you remain in yours. Sometimes, you would step out of your room and walk around the Astral Express, but only if the others weren’t on the train aside from Pom-Pom and Himeko. You weren’t ready to talk to them yet. 

You stopped tagging along with them on their trailblazing missions not because you wanted to avoid everyone but because you weren’t sleeping. The last time you slept was when the Phantylia incident happened. Now, you’re going days without sleeping and keeping yourself awake by drinking lots and lots of coffee. 

You’re doing everything you can to avoid falling asleep. You really want to tag along with Nanook, Mr. Yang, Caelus, March, and Dan Heng, but you don’t want them to see you with dark circles under your eyes due to the lack of sleep. Sometimes, you would find yourself falling asleep but would quickly force yourself to stay awake. 

Caelus knocks on your door. “Are you sure you don’t want to go with us? Everyone misses you. I miss you,” Caelus says, pressing his forehead against the door and closing his eyes. “You don’t hate us, do you?”

You shake your head, knowing Caelus won’t see it. “I’m not avoiding any of you, I promise. I’m dealing with reality right now, and it’s a lot to accept,” you reply.

Caelus sighs, turning to look at the others behind him. Dan Heng and Mr. Yang remain silent while March leans against the wall, closing her eyes. There are times when March wakes up in the middle of the night, she hears you moving around your room. March assumes you have issues with sleeping at night because Nanook wasn’t sleeping with you. 

“Hey, [Y/N]. We’re always going to be here if you need someone to talk to. It can be about anything,” Mr. Yang speaks up, walking toward the door of your room. 

March, Caelus, Mr. Yang, and Dan Heng didn’t hear a response from you. Mr. Yang gestures to the others to follow him to the Parlor Car. In your room, you’re knocked out asleep on your bed. You didn’t sleep for a long time. What woke you up from your slumber was your body twitching; it startled you awake. You sit up and bury your face into your hands, having the biggest urge to cry. 

You want to sleep, but you worry that she’s going to be in your dreams again. Trapping you in your dreams and telling you that you don’t belong in this universe repeatedly. You don’t know what else she’s capable of doing after the first time. Quite frankly, you do not want to speak to Phantylia. You lay back down on your bed and stare at the ceiling, eyelids drooping. You’re so tired.

You tried to put up a fight, but you don’t have much fight in you. You managed to stay up for days without sleep, and now you’re exhausted. Maybe it won’t hurt to sleep this time. Maybe she’s not going to show up in your dreams this time. Perhaps you’ll finally be able to sleep in peace without worrying about what Phantylia is saying due to her jealousy. You let sleep overcome you.

You’re in an endless void, floating through space. The stars twinkle around you, and you feel like you’re underwater. It’s peaceful and quiet. No signs of life around you and no Phantylia to disturb your peace. For the first time in days, you feel at peace. The peace did not last long. The same chuckle echoes in the abyss, sending chills down your spine. You fall on your back and groan. You open your eyes, searching around the void, but there are no signs of Phantylia.

You squeeze your eyes shut. “Wake up, wake up, wake up,” you plead, squeezing your hands into tight fists.

A hand reaches out for your wrist, pulling you toward the unknown. You yank your arms back, and the void suddenly disappears, and you’re awake. You stare at your bedroom wall with wide eyes, unable to move. You’re not sure if you’re paralyzed with fear or if you’re having sleep paralysis. You close your eyes, trying to calm your racing heart. You didn’t see her, but you did hear her giggling.

You toss your blanket off your body and walk out of your room. You’re not sure how long you’ve been asleep, but the hallway lights are out. You walk toward the Parlor Car to make coffee for yourself. On your way to the Parlor Car, you bump into March. March looks at you with wide eyes, sighing in relief when she sees you.

“It’s good to see you, [Y/N]! I was worried you were Dan Heng at first!” March says, propping her hands on her hips.

You tilt your head to the side. “It’s good to see you too, March! Uh, may I ask why you were worried that I was Dan Heng?”

March laughs sheepishly and rubs the back of her neck. “You see, Dan Heng said I can’t go to the kitchen for late-night snacks because it would keep me up and make me tired during our trailblazing missions!” March explains.

You nod, chuckling while March grumbles to herself. You and March walk to the kitchen of the Astral Express, not saying anything to each other. You reach for a mug and begin making coffee for yourself while March flips the light on. You squeeze your eyes shut when the lights flood the kitchen and wait for your eyes to adjust to the brightness of the kitchen.

“I think it depends on what you eat as your late-night snacks, March. I’m sure Dan Heng doesn’t mind you getting snacks at night as long as they’re not sweets,” You finally respond to March.

You walk to the coffee maker and begin making coffee. March stops at the fridge and stares at you incredulously. March peeks at the clock on the wall to see it’s still in the middle of the night. March scratches her head, watching you prepare to brew yourself some coffee. 

March clears her throat. “If you don’t mind me asking… Why are you making coffee at a time like this?” March asks, leaning against the refrigerator. 

March narrows her eyes when you don’t respond to her question. You continue to make your coffee with your back facing her direction. March slowly approaches you while you’re occupied. You look at the selection of creamers and toppings sleepily, rubbing your heavy eyelids with your knuckles. You’re exhausted, but you don’t want to sleep. At least not until you know you can sleep soundly without Phantylia disturbing your sleep.

“[Y/N]?” March calls.

You don’t reply.

March reaches forward and grabs your shoulders, turning you around. When March gets a full look at your face, she nearly gasps in horror. You look like you barely slept in days. The bags under your eyes are prominent, and the whites of your eyes are bloodshot. You yawn and rub your eyes before turning back around to continue where you left off.

“I know it’s still early in the morning, but I wanted to make some coffee before going back to my room,” you sigh.

March continues to stare holes into the back of your head. “[Y/N]. You do know that it’s still in the middle of the night, right?” March asks.

You blink and pause what you’re doing. “I can always reheat this coffee when I wake up,” you reply, shrugging.

March ends up abandoning her snacks and watches you from the corner of her eyes, pretending to search the refrigerator for some ‘snacks.’ After your coffee is done brewing, you add some creamer to your coffee and stir the hot liquid with a metal spoon. March peeks from the side of the fridge, watching you take small sips of your freshly made coffee. You look awful. Almost haunting.

“I’m going back to my room, March,” you murmur, walking by the pink-haired girl.

March perks up. “You’re going to bed now, right? No offense, but you look like you haven’t slept a wink,” says March, following after you as you exit the Astral Express’s kitchen.

You hum in response, taking small sips of your coffee. March stops halfway and sighs, watching you disappear into your bedroom and closing the door behind you. So much for getting a snack in the kitchen. Now she has to tell the others about you not getting any sleep at night. Dan Heng, Mr. Yang, and Caelus would probably scold you for not getting enough sleep at night. But how would Nanook react to the news of you not getting enough sleep? He does hear your thoughts, does he not? March returns to her bedroom and collapses on her bed with an empty stomach. Looks like Dan Heng wins for today.

When you return to your room, you continue to drink your coffee while scrolling on your phone. You have never done something like this before. Yes, you’ve pulled all-nighters in the past, but staying up for days without a wink of sleep is new to you. This is going to come back and bite you in the ass all because you did not want to deal with Phantylia popping up in your dreams to tell you that you don’t belong in this universe. Seriously, how did Phantylia manage to communicate with you through your dreams like Nanook?

A small knock coming from the door pulls you from your thoughts. You turn your phone off and get off your bed. It’s still in the middle of the night— who could be knocking on your door at this time? It could be March, but you’re not even sure what she’s up to after you left the kitchen. You slide the door open to see Blade.

You and Blade do a double-take after seeing each other. “What are you doing here in the middle of the night?” You ask.

“Why do you look like you haven’t slept in ages?” Blade asks, pointing at your face. 

You stare at Blade, not saying a word, while he raises an eyebrow at you. You sigh and open the door wider for Blade to enter your room. Blade enters your room, and just when you’re about to close the door, a hand stops you. You look to see the other men standing there, their hair all over the place and still in their pajamas.

“I hope you don’t mind me inviting the others with me. The pink-haired girl informed each of us of your sleeping habits,” Blade says.

March shouts from the hallway, “Pink-haired girl!? Excuse me, I have a name!”

Blade dismisses March’s exclamation and closes the door once the others step into your room. You sip your coffee before setting the mug on your nightstand. Mr. Yang sighs and sits on the stool in front of your vanity while Luocha sits at the foot of your bed.

“[Y/N], sweetheart, be honest with us. How long has it been since you’ve gotten sleep?” Luocha asks, looking at you worriedly.

You sigh and lay on your bed, curling up in a fetal position. “Since the Phantylia incident, so, a few days now?” You reply with uncertainty.

Luka nods, gesturing to Nanook in the corner of your room. “Trouble in paradise with the Aeon of Destruction?” Luka boldly asks, ignoring the looks the others are giving him.

You purse your lips before making the so-so gesture. You and Nanook haven’t spoken in days since that incident, but then again, you haven’t really talked to the others since then. Plus, the whole Phantylia being jealous and making you slightly— was it slightly?— jealous, you got over that incident. You mainly don’t appreciate Phantylia strutting into your dreams just to tell you that you don’t belong in this universe and that Nanook doesn’t belong to you.

Phantylia isn’t wrong about Nanook not belonging to you, considering there’s no label between you two (or at least you don’t think there is one). You don’t need to be reminded repeatedly that you don’t belong to this universe. Luka is correct about there being trouble in paradise, but the ‘paradise’ isn’t whatever it is that’s going on between you and Nanook. 

“Not really. I got over whatever happened a few days ago. The thing that bothers me the most is how Phantylia—” You sigh and run your hands through your hair. “I feel like I’m repeating myself,” you grumble.

You sit up and reach for your coffee mug, but Jing Yuan takes the cup away from you, shaking his head with disapproval. You huff and sit up against the headboard of your bed. 

Jing Yuan clears his throat. “If you’re worried about Phantylia appearing in your dreams while you’re sleeping, we can sleep in here with you just to be safe,” Jing Yuan offers.

“I don’t think we need to worry about Phantylia appearing in [Y/N]’s dreams. Nanook informed me that he dealt with Phantylia and told her not to bother any of us,” Gepard interjects, gesturing to Nanook.

You glance at Nanook, and the two of you make eye contact. Nanook nods and walks over to your bed while you sigh, still hesitant about sleeping even though you desperately need it. Even if Nanook handled the situation, then what was the dream you had before getting up to get coffee? 

“Come on, Gumdrop! If the big scary lady is not the issue, then what’s wrong? We’re here to listen, you know?” Sampo says, plopping beside you.

It took everything in you to tell them what Phantylia said to you. You told them everything. Yes, you already said it days ago, but it still bothers you. If you don’t belong in this universe, then you might as well return to your world, right? Fuck. You really are repeating everything that happened a few days ago. The lack of sleep is getting to you, isn’t it?

You sigh in defeat. “I’m just repeating myself over and over. It’s tiring, but I can’t help it. How do I let go of something when it’s true?”

Dan Heng sighs, closing his eyes. “It’s okay if what Phantylia said bothers you, no matter how long ago it happened. What Phantylia said doesn’t matter. We don’t care if you’re from another universe and if Nanook brought you here. You’re with us now, and that’s all that matters. You may be from another universe, another reality, or whatever it is. Still, you will always belong here with us on the Astral Express,” Dan Heng says.

You sigh, hug the pillow to your chest, and rest your chin on the pillow. “I can’t help but still be bothered by what she said, though,” you mumble. “I’m also exhausted and irritated.”

Nanook goes to sit beside you, but Blade stops him. Blade looks over his shoulders and glares at Nanook before sitting beside you, pulling you close to him and stroking your hair. You blink and tense up in Blade’s arms. It’s not like you’re against Blade hugging you; you didn’t expect Blade to do that out of nowhere. But you’re not against it, and it’s nice to have someone other than Nanook hold you. 

“Get some rest. We’ll be here when you wake up,” Blade mutters,  stroking your hair.

You peek at the others; some are pouting (Sampo and Nanook) that they can’t hold you because Blade got to you first. You snort and close your eyes, relaxing in Blade’s arms. 

“You guys can trade off on who gets to hold me while I nap. It’s still in the middle of the night, so I expect every person to sleep,” you mutter.

You wrap your arms around Blade’s waist and close your eyes while the red-eyed man lays beside you, letting you lay your head on his biceps. Nanook sighs and lays on the other side of your bed, ignoring the burning feeling deep down. At least Nanook dealt with Phantylia. You don’t have to worry about Phantylia for a while (or forever).

Note: Have you ever been so tired that you unintentionally repeated what you said? That's what happened to the reader— so sleep-deprived that they repeat the same things without even realizing it until it happened. Maybe after this upcoming week's fanfics, I'm going to take a break or something. My brain is fried, and I have school starting toward the end of September, and I need to be mentally prepared for stress over homework. But of course, I haven't fully decided on that yet. When the time comes, I'll let you all know! I wish there was a way to update AO3 readers without having to make a random chapter to talk about a break 🥹 Anyway, to my new and/or returning readers, please keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

Taglist for the HSR one-shot series: @ashwasherelol, @mompt2, @elegantnightblaze, @lunavixia, @jadedist, @reversearrowhead, @pinksaiyans, @n8mareee, @aurelia-xyt, @lilliansstuff, @starrry-angel, @kaoyamamegami, @kodzuvk, @for3very0urs, @a-cosmicdawn, @g3n0dtt, @theblades, @wntrsblvd, @raaawwwr, @immahuman, @irisxiel, @siaracarroll, @crazydreamcat, @sen-nes, @sagekun, @orichalcumthief, @dyingsweetmackerel, @rosiesareblue, @ichikanu, @undecidingfate, @asoulsreverie, @angelmican, @misdollface, @4-34-am, @sxftiebee, @hispasian-otaku, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @vox34, @tsukkikeisimp, @inapileofbooke

Read more of my works on my Masterlist / Masterlist 2 | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^

[sophsiaaa]

I've been wanting to make this post for a while so now that I'm on mid-sem break, I will. Let's talk Shigaraki and sex.

NSFW warning??

So, let's get the big question out of the way. Is Shigaraki a virgin?

I think, yes. 100%

However, that is not to say that he is an innocent, oblivious, 'omg what is sex? uwu' baby villain. This guy literally lives in a bar, in a seedy part of the city, and hangs around with criminals. He knows about sex - I daresay he knows quite a bit about it. Besides which, we see in-canon that he has a phone and a PC and access to the internet, so he's hardly sheltered (though, he's definitely sheltered in regard to actual real-life socialisation, but that's another story).

Regardless, I stand by my assertion that he is a virgin.

Exhibit A: Shigaraki is shown very overtly to hate 'basically everything'. Correct me if I'm wrong, but everything encompasses sex/romance/intimacy. His character, especially at the beginning of the story, is prickly, quick-to-frustration, and sort of single-minded. He is driven to complete one narrow goal set by AFO that he believes he wants: to kill All Might. I believe prior to our introduction to Shigaraki, he was much the same, and thus did not seek out sex. Given his hostile and loner-guy nature at the start of the series, I doubt he would have had much in the way of propositions on his occasional solo trip to the mall.

Exhibit B: whilst I have seen it theorised that AFO introduced Shigaraki to sex via getting him a sex worker to 'satisfy his natural urges', personally, I think this theory is unlikely. This is because everything AFO does is to create discomfort and frustration in Shigaraki's life in order to stoke his rage (the guy literally has him wearing dead hands despite the fact that they make Shigaraki simultaneously feel calm and like throwing up). Thus, I doubt AFO would have encouraged Shigaraki to indulge in sexual relief - or any kind of relief - at all. I doubt he would have even explained the birds and the bees and likely pawned that job off onto the doctor or the internet if Shigaraki asked any questions.

So, we've established that Shigaraki's a virgin, and an ultimate hasn't-even-kissed-anyone virgin at that. But does he want to have sex? That big question number 2.

Honestly, I don't think he much cares for it.

It's odd to say given the multitude of what is essentially sex-addict-Shiagraki headcanons out there, but I truly think he doesn't really think about sex. Shigaraki's sex drive is probably quite low. Now, since I'm taking an evidence based approach here, lets go for the obvious evidence that points to him not having much interest in sex and that is the fact that if he was interested in it, Horikoshi would not shy away from showing it. My Hero Academia is not a manga that shies away from the odd bit of fan service or the pervy character. Mineta is - unfortunately - living proof of this. And he's not the only one. Horikoshi writes many of his characters displaying sexual attraction/interest/engagement/awareness at one point or another. So, logically, if Shigaraki was a character who was interested in sex, Horikoshi would show that. Since he doesn't, I can only conclude that sex isn't really a big deal to Shigaraki, or at the very least, not something he thinks about enough for it to show up on-screen.

Now, do I believe that Shigaraki has zero sexual interest? No. I think he's watched porn before, and probably even jerks it every now and then. But do I think he would actively seek out sex? Nah. Honestly, I don't even think he'd go along with sex unless it's with someone he's got a pre-established emotional connection to that's been building for a long time.

Like everything with Shigaraki, I think sex would be intense. By this I mean, he wouldn't be the type to have a casual one-night-stand or a friends-with-benefits fling. If he's in it, his heart's in it. Because he is so angry and destructive, Shiagraki often gets mischaracterised as heartless and deliberately cruel (this is a conversation for a separate post), but in reality, he cares a lot about certain things and puts his all into them. With sex, he would have to care about the who for the what to matter.

In conclusion - Shigaraki's well aware that BDSM doesn't stand for Bible Discussion/Study Meeting, but he's also a virgin loser who would not pin you up against the wall and have his way with you in a dark alley.

[wasawattpadkid]

Housewife

Part - 4

Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?

Pairing: poly!ghostface x fem!reader

Warnings for this series: murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating, hinting masturbation

Part 1

"This is my favorite outfit so far." Tatum clapped as you spun around. The outfit in question was a checkered skirt matched with a sleeveless mock turtleneck top. Thankfully the stockings you bought yesterday had yet to fail. You kicked up your white go go boot striking a pose for a laugh. "This whole style choice of yours is dick repellent." Randy said, opening up his granola bar. You snatched it from him taking a bite. "You'll have to give me some tips then because I'm pretty sure you get more dick than all of us combined. And that's including Stu so that says something." Stu pointed at you surprised at the sudden dig. "How'd you know?" He said making the group laugh harder. Randy grabbed his granola bar back not caring you had just eaten part of it. You laid down on the concrete resting your head on Randy's lap.

"Since when did you two get so close?" Stu asked knowing about how hostile yesterday was. "Since I found out she's a lesbian." Randy joked. Billy looked at you seemingly to give the idea some thought. "She can do whatever she wants to it's a free country, as long as she invites me to watch." Stu said and Tatum shook her head. "Me and Randall here made up in 2nd period. He's not so bad when he's not babbling on about shitty horror movies."

Randy stands up knocking your head forward. "Okay which is better Texas Chainsaw Massacre the 1974 original or Aliens the 1979 original?" Billy scrunched up his nose like that was even a question. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre no contest." Billy spoke and Stu echoed his answer. Even Tatum put her two cents in. "Leather face is in Texas Chainsaw Massacre right?" Stu nodded. "Oh then that movie." Everyone looked at Sydney to give the last answer. "Don't look at me I haven't seen either of them." Billy laid back down mimicking your position.

"Aliens is by far a better choice because-" Stu started throwing grapes at him not missing a single shot. "Booooo!" You laughed at Stu happy to know the crowd agreed with you. "Told ya." You chimed as Randy sat back down. "What are you two doing tonight?" Sydney asked Stu and Billy. "Probably chill at my place, watch some movies. Why you wanna come?" She shook her head. "I was just curious." Sydney said picking at her nails. "Welp I'm going to split. If I don't see ya have a good weekend." You waved them off as you went back into the school. Walking the halls you headed towards the nearest bathroom.

You propped your purse up on the sink pulling a compact out. Funny enough the bags under your eyes seemed softer than they've been in months. "You sure are in a good mood today." Billy said as Stu locked the door. You jumped at his voice clutching imaginary pearls. "Did we scare you?" Stu asked leaning on Billy. "What gave it away Sherlock?" You closed the compact sliding it back in your purse. "You two shouldn't be in here." Stu bent down to check under the stalls. "Relax we're the only ones here." He said standing back up. "Still, being a girl in a bathroom with two guys that have girlfriends isn't really a good look for me."

"It's not like we're going to have our way with you." Billy watched your body tense up at Stu's words. "Unless you'd want that of course." You were uncomfortable. You'd like to say you trusted them but you'd only known them for 3 days. "Lay off man." Billy shrugged his friend arm off his shoulder before talking again. "We just came in here to ask about tonight. I'm running by the video store after school, what movie do you want to watch?" You calmed down just a little seeing Stu smile at you. It was genuine not one with two meanings behind it.

"Any movie? Or are you wanting horror movies?" Stu hopped up sitting on the sink. "We're watching Christine first." Billy looked at him then back to you. "Whatever you want to watch." It was a risk. He wouldn't sit though some boring ass chick flick. Not even for you. He's seen one too many with Sydney. "Have you seen Ferris Bueller's day off?" Both the boys shook thier head. "Are you being serious? It's one of the best movies ever." You said shocked. They highly doubted that but they let you have your moment.

You and the boys made plans for tonight. Billy would stop by the video store to pick up Christine, Ferris Bueller's day off, and he refused to tell you what he picked out. Saying "it's a surprise." You volunteered to cook dinner. They argued saying they could live off popcorn but you wouldn't allow it. Anyone staying at your house would be having a home cooked meal. Stu was simply bringing himself and a deck of cards.

The bell rang and you quickly shoved your school supplies in your locker leaving them for the Monday to come. "Are you ready to have your mind blown?" Stu's hands blew away from his head as he stuck his tongue out faking an explosion. "I doubt your little movie is that good. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt." Stu tried to hold hands with you which you quickly shut down. "If you're worried about Tatum and Syd they're both already gone. Dewy picked them up." You were worried about them. You were also worried about that giddy feeling crawling back up your chest. "I'm not worried I'm appalled. I'm not some cheap whore you know?" You walked backwards for a second to catch his reaction.

"I'm well aware of that Ms. Crocker." The two of you cracked jokes and had playful banter as you made it to your car. "Do I get to pick music this time?" With the puppy like expression on his face he already knew your answer. "Sure but you're not going to like the options." You both slid into the car, Stu going straight for the glove box. "Elvis, Beatles, Boston, the Bee Gees? Really?" You looked at him with a smile. "Don't shit on the Bee Gees." You said holding back a laugh. The car pulled out of the parking lot heading straight to your place. "I care about you but we've got to do something about this." He held up a Carpenters tape with a look of shame on his face. "Most of these aren't even mine okay?" He simply hummed with doubt.

"Whatever you say Betty." He grabbed one tape pushing it into the tape deck. "This, I can get behind." He said confident in his selection. "What'd you pick-" Stu's finger rested on your lips. "Shh let it play." You swatted his hand away with a smile. Space Oddity began playing to your surprise. "I learn something new about you everyday." You said as he began singing the words as horribly as he could. He might be a little on the annoying side but he sure could make you laugh. At some point you chimed in. You both sang the songs together laughing at each other back and forth. Stu wasn't so bad.

"Put the tape back where you got it." He said "yes ma'am" as he slid it back into the glove compartment. You clicked the garage door open and slowly pulled your car in. The car became quiet once you pulled out the key. You closed the garage door, you and Stu hopping out at the same time. "Make sure to take your shoes off before you go in." You slipped off your boots carrying them inside. "Just bring your shoes up to my room." Stu didn't want to fuck this up but you made it too easy for him to make jokes. "You're taking me to your bedroom?" He said as cheesey as humanly possible. Before you could come up with a snarky response he pushed you out of the way.

"Holy shit this place is ugly!" Your face dropped as you closed the garage door. "I love it!" He exclaimed walking to the kitchen. "Is that a compliment?" You asked genuinely confused. Stu paused for a moment sniffing the air. "What is that smell?" You chuckled at his concern. "It's the pot roast." Confusion painted his face. "You started cooking this morning?" You smiled sheepishly. "Well yeah I knew you two were coming over." He might've just fell in love with you. "Come on let's put our shoes up and get dinner done before Billy gets here."

Stu looked all around not being able to look at one thing for too long. "Woah this is your room?" He admired the posters on your wall first. "The one and only." You grabbed his shoes sitting them up on the rack next to yours. "You like these movies?" He asked like you had them up there just to start conversations. "Of course I like them. That's kinda why I bought the posters."

Stu had to revaluate everything he thought about you. "You know your place reminds me of Dazed and Confused." You lit up at the name. "Oh my God I love that movie!" Stu took a second to really look at you. He thought you were hot from the second he saw you. That feeling hasn't changed any but there's definitely more to it. "I saw it in theaters like 4 times. You know you don't have such bad taste after all." You fake gasped. "I have amazing taste you just wait."

"Speaking of taste I've got to get started on dinner." He followed you to the kitchen with a question. "Isn't it already done?" He must not cook a lot. "The roast is yes but I've got to make mashed potatoes to go with it. Oh and do you want Macaroni and cheese or green beans?" He was definitely in love with you. "Why are you doing all this?" He asked his voice kind of sad. Stu really hadn't been a priority or even cared for, for a very long time. "Because you and Billy are my guests and I'll be damned if you leave here without having a good meal. Now Mac and cheese or green beans?"

Billy pulled into the driveway slowly as to not attract attention. It would be his ass if Sydney and Tatum saw his car over at your house. Before he could knock he stopped to listen to the sound of your laughter paired with Stu's. It was a pleasant sound but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous. His knuckles made contact with the wood alerting you and Stu both. "I'll get it. Keep stirring the mashed potatoes so they don't stick." Billy knocked once more. He wasn't very patient. "I'm coming!" You opened the door waving Billy inside. "Where's your coat it's freezing out there?" It was then he realized he left his jacket in the car. There was no way that unbuttoned flannel and white t-shirt was providing him any warmth.

"Hey buddy!" Stu waved from the kitchen. "I need you to open the garage so I can pull my car in." You made a stirring motion to Stu noticing he stopped. "Yeah give me one sec." You said to Billy as you opened the door to the garage. Clicking the button on the wall the door slowly lifted up. "Thanks babe." He said as he walked to his car. "Babe?" You whispered as your chest grew tight. "Betty help it's bubbling!" Stu shouted your nickname. You shook your head walking back into the house. "The heats too high." Slowly you turned the knob and the bubbling stopped. "Have you tried some yet?"

"No." He said but the small dot of mashed potatoes on his nose said other wise. Your thumb swiped off the food from his face and he knew he'd been caught. You wiped your hands on your apron. "Was it good?" He dipped his finger in the pot pointing it towards you. "Try it." He tried to smear it on your face but you wouldn't let him. "No!" You shouted with a laugh running around the kitchen. Stu chased you around the table laughing as much as you were. "What is going on? I can hear you all outside." Billy asked as he shut the door to the garage. "You really wanna know?" Stu asked.

It was too late. Now Stu chased Billy leaving you to laugh at both of them. "Get near me and I'll bite your fucking finger off Macher I mean it." You were belly laughing at this point. "Okay guys calm down the foods done. Billy, the plates are up there can you set the table?" Without a response he grabbed the plates. "Stu can you get the silverware? It's in that drawer." You pointed to the wood cabinet. "On it." Stu grabbed one of everything sitting them on the placemats next to the plates Billy sat down. You were busy moving the mac and cheese into a pyrex dish. "Someone sit this on the table." Billy and Stu both jumped to help nearly knocking the hot food out of your hands.

You awkwardly laughed at the silence. "Don't worry I've got another one." You handed Billy the glassware, quickly filling another one up with mashed potatoes to give to Stu. "I've got iced tea, lemonade, soda and water." You opened the fridge showing them what you had. "I'll have Dr. Pepper." Stu said and you handed him the glass bottle. "Billy for you?" Both the boys looked flushed. "What's that at the bottom shelf?" Stu pointed. You bent down seeing a bottle of Coke.

Unbeknownst to you every time you bent over the tops of your thigh high stockings were on display. Billy's eyes followed the black line from your ankles all the way to the little black bow at the top. Stu looked over at Billy trying to read his mind. "It's Coke. Did you want this instead?" You asked. "I'll take that." Billy grabbed it from your hand. "Let me get you two the bottle opener." You pulled out the drawer grabbing the opener and tossing it to Billy. "Where's your bathroom?" Stu asked politely. "Down the hall and to the left." With speed he left the Dr. Pepper on the table and practically sprinted to the bathroom.

"What's his problem?" You asked Billy. He only shrugged. Although he knew exactly what his problem was. It was the same problem he was starting to have. Billy sat down at the dinner table popping the lid off of his bottle. "Thank you." His was quiet but not silent. "You're welcome. It's the best I can do. Do you want your roast on top of your mashed potatoes or separate?" He thought about it for a second. "Separate is fine." You nodded grabbing his plate from the table. You put a good amount of roast and vegetables on his plate before sitting it back down in front of him. "Smells good."

"Let's just hope it tastes good." You laughed. "But thank you. Stu helped quite a lot actually." That was surprising. Living with Stu, he got take out 5 days a week and the other days they barley ate at all. Neither Billy or Stu cooked. Not for lack of trying on Billy's end. You placed a spoon in the mashed potatoes and in the Mac and cheese before fixing you a glass of water. You sat it down on the table picking up Stu's plate. Once he had a good amount you put his plate back where you got it.

"Is he coming?" The question almost made Billy laugh. With the Coke bottle up to his lips he said "Probably." The joke went clear over your head. In the meantime you hung your apron up and sat the salt and pepper down on the table. "There you are. I thought you fell in." You smiled and he returned it. Billy's eyes found Stu's having a silent shameful conversation. The last thing you did before sitting down was fix your own plate. While you put food on your plate Stu went ahead and grabbed his fork. Before he could eat Billy kicked him under the table. "Ow!"

"The bowl's hot." Billy made an excuse for his friends outburst. You went back to what you were doing as the two had a conversation. "Wait for her." Billy mouthed. Stu's lips formed an 'o' as he understood what he meant. You finally sat down with them finishing putting food on your plate. They both waited patiently for you to take the first bite. "Do you think I poisoned it?" You asked wondering about their odd behavior. "No but you cooked it so you should get to eat first." There it was again that giddy feeling. "Oh..." You said with a smile.

You had never seen two people eat so much. It made you think they'd never had food in their lives. Both bowls were completely empty and the poor crockpot looked like it'd seen hell before. "That was the best damn food I've ever had." Stu exclaimed. "Thank you, Y/n." He said grabbing your hand on the table. "You're welcome. If there's one thing I can do it's cook." Billy's head laid on his crossed arms on top of the table. "Is he dead?" You whispered to Stu. Your hand rubbed Billy's back slowly hoping he wasn't sick. "You alright?"

"I can't move." He mumbled against the table cloth. You bit your lip trying not to laugh. Billy sat up his head falling back over the kitchen chair. A moan left his lips from how much he ate. Stu saw the way you straightened up in your chair. Your eyes raked over Billy's exposed neck. His adams apple on prominent display. "Damn." Billy sat up looking at you. "What's wrong?

"Huh?" You asked furrowing your brows. "You said 'Damn' like something was wrong." Stu really couldn't help but laugh. "What's funny shit face?" He asked his giggly friend. "Oh nothing. Leave the dishes I'll clean them up." Billy rolled his eyes. In all his years being friends with him he had never once seen Stu clean a dish. "You don't have to do that I'll do them later after you guys go home."

Home? That thought never crossed either of their minds. They didn't want to go "home." "Listen I love hanging out with you both but I seriously can't have two grown men in my house staying the night that I barley know. What if you robbed the place?" That was your concern. Billy smiled at the innocent worry. "Then you'd get what we stole back monday at school. Don't you have a guest room we could stay in?" You did but it was used as a junk room now. There's no way you could clean it out tonight. They could stay in your dad's room but considering that's were the guns are you'd rather not. "Do you even have something to change into if you were to spend the night?"

Stu jumped from the table going to grab his bag. "I brought mine and Billy's clothes." You put your head in your hands as you groaned. "Fine but you're both sleeping on my bedroom floor." If that's what the rules were then so be it but they knew how easily they could bend them.

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Part 5

A/N: I haven't proofread this yet so I apologize from any misspellings. I'll be going through it again tonight. Hope everyone's enjoying it so far!