#we have Katsura on our side

[suchine-toki]

Okay, was anybody going to tell me that the official music video of the 6th opening of Yorinuki Gintama-san has strong gintaka vibes or was I just supposed to find it out myself?

First I would like to show the lyrics of two specific scenes in the actual opening:

A silver-haired guy is looking for a place to return home

following the memories of a time that can't come back

We didn't get to see each other, but we're not apart.

With this we realize that this part of the song is from Gintoki's point of view, who's feeling homesick. The first scene shows him remembering Shouyou, Katsura and Takasugi in his childhood, and then Sakamoto, Katsura and Takasugi again during the war.

Someday when we've gotten to meet,

I'll surely shout aloud "I'm home!"

So that you won't be laughed at

by those who are even now watching from somewhere.

In the second scene, Takasugi is seen putting on bandages under a cherry tree, when Bansai, Matako and Takechi arrive to look for him. The lyrics could be interpreted as Gintoki being the one who greets Takasugi so that he doesn't have to do it in front of those looking at him or the other way around.

Now let's see what the official music video (今日もサクラ舞う暁に) by CHiCO with HoneyWorks) shows:

At daybreak when the cherry blossoms were dancing,

we were having dreams.

Wow Wow Paint them in the sky and run.

Go my way

A silver-haired guy is looking for a place to return home

following the memories of a time that can't come back.

We didn't get to see each other, but we're not apart.

The memories of us laughing and crying are even now, even now

living right here.

As you can see, the story of the protagonists of the video has several similarities with that of Gintoki and Takasugi. At the beginning, a silver-haired boy is shown remembering his childhood and noticing the absence of a purple-haired boy who is no longer by his side. But when they were together, he was his friend and rival.

At daybreak again today when the cherry blossoms were dancing (Wow oh oh)

we found our dream.

Wow (Wow) Wow (Wow)

On your mark, run! (Go my way)

So that you won't be laughed at

by those who are even now watching from somewhere,

Wow (Wow) Wow (Wow)

paint your dreams and run.

Go my way

The video includes speech bubbles in some scenes (which I didn't consider for aesthetic purposes), but it's very curious that at one point the purple-haired boy mentions that he has won 56 consecutive times, in the same way Takasugi kept track of his victories and defeats against Gintoki.

My burning wounds still make me run,

holding onto the memories of that time I want to go back to (Wow)

I superpose myself with how I used to be and laugh.

As I was that day when I hid my weakness, even now, even now

I'm right here.

The purple-haired boy is later shown with who appears to be his father. Here both the tone of the song and the visual effects change to demonstrate greater seriousness in the scene. The lyrics seem to indicate a change in perspective towards him, who also longs to return to those days. It's striking because it expresses similar feelings to Takasugi, in addition to showing a complicated relationship between father and son.

At daybreak again today

when the cherry blossoms were dancing (Wow oh oh)

we grasped hold of our dreams.

Wow (Wow) Wow (Wow)

On your mark, run! (Go my way)

The event that broke the video kids' friendship was basically the purple-haired boy beating up his friends at the dojo without any explanation (strangely similar to a little samurai doing dojoyaburi), which caused the silver-haired boy to confront him.

If we can restart,

and find a place with them,

Wow (Wow) Wow (Wow)

draw your ideals, and run.

Go my way

I'll say goodbye over and over many times.

I found the only one truth.

Though getting more and more wounded, the past stays the past.

I reach my hand out to the glaring answer.

We didn't get to see each other, but we'll always be connected.

The memories of us laughing and crying are even now, even now

living right here.

The silver-haired boy questions if their dreams couldn't coexist. It isn't until many years later that he understands the actions of his friend, and he decides to go look for him. The purple-haired boy is under a cherry tree, reminiscing about the past. There were 4 friends, and in addition to the protagonists of the video there was a boy with long hair and another who is the tallest in the group, which reminds me of Joui 4.

At daybreak again today when the cherry blossoms were dancing (Wow oh oh)

we found our dream.

Wow (Wow) Wow (Wow)

On your mark, run! (Go my way)

Someday when we've gotten to meet,

I'll surely shout aloud "I'm home!"

So that you won't be laughed at

by those who are even now watching from somewhere

It's after all this that they meet again. The silver-haired boy throws a bokuto at the purple-haired boy and they clash their swords at the beginning of a friendly combat that symbolizes the reconsolidation of their friendship.

Wow (Wow) Wow (Wow)

paint your dreams and run.

Go my way

I think it's important to highlight the use of cherry trees during the song and, well, in the title itself (At This Dawn When Cherry Blossoms Are Dancing Again). Gintoki once said that the darkest time of the night is just before dawn, and he and Takasugi have been depicted together using cherry trees in the manga, anime, and the final movie. So this could be another poetic way of showing how they would be at their worst before meeting again, a reunion that has a happy connotation for both of them.

[ammstify]

Okay, I'm a bit late to the game, but I have some THOUGHTS after watching this weeks stream from Atlus about their new game, Metaphor: ReFantazio!

If you don't know yet, Atlus is releasing a new IP created by three of the main members of the team who helped develop Persona 3, Persona 4, and Persona 5! This of course includes:

Katsura Hoshino, who was the director for the past main Persona games, as well as SMT 3: Nocturne and Digital Devil Saga, until he moved on to create Metaphor with Atlus's new division, Studio Zero.

Shoji Meguro, the composer for a LOT of Persona's most well-known music who has composed a new, equally stylistic soundtrack for the new game!

And Shigenori Soejima, the main character artist and designer for Persona who has created similarly distinct and unique character designs for the vast cast in Metaphor!

The game is set in the United Kingdom of Euchronia, a pseudo-fantasy world that is described as a "mirror" to our world, where humans are feared by the many tribes that dot the land. After the sudden assassination of the King, we the protagonist, among many other individuals from the tribes around the kingdom, are chosen to join in a impromptu Royal Tournament to determine who shall become the throne's successor!

Similarly to Persona, the game has a focus on time and how your choices affect the world around you. From what we saw in the stream, our team of characters have a limited time to complete the various quest bestowed upon us, some side quests, some bounties, and others of course being story important quests. Alongside that, our biggest goal in-game is to try and gain the support of the people and gain allies in a Social Link-like system with specific NPCS of specific tribes, villages, and cities!

I'm a bit excited to see how they change up this system from Persona's social links, and what ways they may potentially affect our gameplay! Will they provide us certain special abilities like Persona 5's Confidants? Or will we be able to get some special teammates we might normally not get in the story?

Alongside that, the game also has a lot of other features commonly shared with both Persona and SMT, including the turn-based battle system and a lot of familiar physical, magical, and stat affecting abilities! Though the magic does go by different names this time, such as "garu" being referred to as "cyclo" instead! But hey, we still have tarukaja and matarukaja, so who knows what else may have reutrned or changed?

Unlike Persona though, the game has quite a few distinct differences too, notably the travel system and specific changes to the battle system. In Metaphor: ReFantazio, travel is a very important aspect of the game as our party moves across the kingdom, going from town to town to gain the support of the locale. We enter dungeons that are found in semi-open exploration locations and fight through them

As for the fighting system, there are two main differences from both SMT and Persona that folks may notice; The ability to fight outside of turn-based battle, and the Archetypes System.

Similarly to games like Final Fantasy 15, Persona 5 Strikers, and the Dynasty Warriors series, Atlus has implemented an action role-playing battle system that allows you to either take out weaker enemies quickly in the overworld without engaging in turn-based combat, or getting a a few hits in on a stronger before switching over to turn-based fighting! Hashino noted that the reason why they did this was to make the gameplay flow a bit more enjoyable by eliminating constant turn-based battles with weaker enemies.

Some folks don't seem to quite like it, but personally I'm a bit indifferent. On one hand, constant turn-based combat can get a bit boring and resource wasting when fighting enemies that are weaker than you, a problem that I have faced a bit so far during my current playthrough of Persona 3 Reload. But on the other hand, there is always something enjoyable about being able to defeat enemies with ease and getting a few extra experience points, so we'll just have to see how it feels!

Then comes the most distinct part of Metaphor's battle system so far; The Archetypes. Our team of characters have the ability to awaken to powerful, magical weapon forms known as Archetypes, which are described as "individuals who embody the traits of typical fantasy classes like a knight or warrior, who can then transform into their Archetype once they awaken to this knowledge."

Sounds a little similar to Persona, no? Well, a lot of people, including news companies like Polygon, Kotaku, Game Rant, and more have compared the Archetype system to the Persona system, since it allows you to utilize different forms with different abilities and statuses. However in my opinion, I believe that the Archetype system is more akin to another system we've seen in a game from Hashino....

The demon transformation system in Digital Devil Saga 1-2.

Unlike the system in Persona, which allowed your protagonist to utilize multiple Personas alongside your teammates singular Personas, Digital Devil Saga's demon system had a different focus. You and your teammates have the ability to switch between human and demon forms, with each specific characters demon forms having a variety of special stats and magic specific to them.

However, there is one distinct aspect to this that is similar to Archetypes system: The ability to gain specific magic and change your stats via a skill tree. Both the demons in Digital Devil Saga and the Archetypes are able to change aspects of their builds in unique ways, providing them magic that they otherwise wouldn't have had before, or specific skill boosts that change them entirely. You could change an ice magic focused demon into fire resistant physical figther, and vice versa!

And ultimately, unlike both Persona and Digital Devil Saga, any character can equip any Archetype, allowing for versatility when it comes to the players fighting style! A good example that Hashino gave during the presentation was equipping all the characters with the Brawler archetype, boosting all of the characters defense and physical strength, and providing them all physical based skills instead of magic So, while there are quite a few similarities to Persona, there are also a lot of similarities with past SMT projects directed by Hashino too!

Overall though, I can safely say that I am VERY excited to see whats in store for Metaphor: ReFantazio since I'm an absolute sucker for the Persona games, but also new RPGs in general! I'm looking forward to seeing what other information comes out while waiting for both the games release and any future news for Persona 6, and hope that anyone else reading this might be too!

[dropintomanga]

From Manga to IRL: Found Family

I got a chance to catch the latest Manga in Libraries webinar on YouTube, which was titled Disability Visibility in Manga. It was a really good discussion about what the manga industry and anyone promoting manga can do better to promote better disability representation and access.

There was one question that host Jillian Rudes asked that prompted an answer from one of her panelists that made me think about how important it is for fans to look for communities that aren’t made up of blood-related family members.

Jillian asked the question “Have you seen your own lived experiences (re: disability) reflected in manga? If so, what manga? If not, what would you like to see?” The panelist in question, Nico Meyering, the Business Administrator of the University of Pennsylvania’s Orphan Disease Center and Gene Therapy Program, chimed in saying that he couldn’t find any manga relating to his experiences as he has a really rare disability. He then goes on to say he experienced a common trope - the “found family” trope.

“But I do solidly identify with a trope that we find a lot in manga and other pop culture that we consume. And that is like, the “found family” trope or really identifying with your friends, identifying with a group of people who might not be related to you genetically, but who form very strong bonds with you based out of shared experience, shared interest, or shared background. And this is something I found true in my own life.”

Nico goes on to say that as a lonely person, he never understood why people have strong attachments to their high school/college/graduate school. Nico then goes on to say he found his place with the disabled community and that he’s really working hard to make sure that his generation’s ceiling will be the next generation’s floor. Nico preaches community-based disability mentorship and coming up with guidelines and best practices to help improve disabled spaces for decades to come. It leads to a short wonderful response from another panelist, Bridget MacCormack (a cosplayer who’s also a mental health and disability advocate), about the “found family” trope being present in manga. She used One Piece and Monkey D. Luffy having a “found family” at his side as an example.

Like Nico, I never had strong attachments to any of the educational institutions I attended in my life. I used to have friends who I thought were great, but they slowly fell out of my life. Yet I didn’t really interact with anyone with the same interests as me until I was in my late ‘20s. Part of my late bloom into fandom was my fault and some of it could be blamed on other people.

With that said, I think it’s important to find people who aren’t blood-related to be around. Some of you may be fortunate to have wonderful parents/siblings/relatives (i.e. I’m one of them), but they aren’t enough. There’s things that they might never get about you. We all have our own idiosyncrasies that don’t necessarily vibe well with others. The beauty of being around similar folks with different backgrounds is that you get to see different ways of how to live life in a meaningful way. We’re often so stuck in our heads to the point of possible rumination. When you’re in a safe space with those with shared experiences, everyone in that setting is able to share knowledge that helps and prevents rumination from happening. 

I do want to stress that it’s important to find a “family” that is NOT rooted in hatred since it’s easy to meet the kinds of people that promote it when one is lonely and full of despair. Those individuals do not genuinely care about their members when they do not serve their best interests.

I asked myself if I found some kind of family just like how it happens in manga. I think back to the early days of reading/watching Gintama, where Gintoki Sakata finds out his then-newfound friends, Shinpachi Shimura and Kagura, were kidnapped by the Harusame space pirates during a Yorozuya mission. His old friend, Katsura Kotaro, tells him that it’s dangerous to rescue them. But Gintoki talks about how he didn’t want to carry the weight of other people in his life after experiencing so much loss during the Amanto War. Yet by bringing in Shinpachi and Kagura into his life, Gintoki unexpectedly wanted to be around people and take on the burden of life again. He says life would be boring if they weren’t around.

I think for me, I’m starting to find some kind of found family in the unlikeliest of places just like in manga. I realize like Gintoki, life wouldn’t be fun if there weren’t people I can form some sort of familial bond with. I hope you guys have/had the same experiences as me. Kabi Nagata once said that to feel a true sense of independence, you have to be able to rely on and trust other people that aren’t your immediate family. Take in as many experiences with those who you find a genuine bond with as you can because not only you may find some kind of family, but you might also find a sense of communal peace and purpose that’s much-needed in a world that doesn’t always seem to care about such things.

[ventureeast]

Sunday June 11th.

It's honestly hard to believe I'm not a day behind because we speedran touring Kyoto today. We went to 4-5 different places in 8 hours starting at 8:30am.

We first went to a famous bamboo garden/grove:

We made our way to かつら川 (Katsura River). And then back to our van.

After that we visited 金かく (golden pavilion).

The thing on top is a Phoenix.

Then we went to the Nishiki Market. This is what I was hoping for when I came to Japan. Shops on either side, going for a long way.

We ate lunch there and I got to have fried squid, tacoyaki (pastry balls of grilled octopus), urchin, potato dumplings, and duck skewers.

Then we went to a joint shinto and Buddhist site. The architecture contrasted strongly and was cool to see.

Finally, we went to the 1000 gates shrine. It had a long upward path that we didn't go on, but it was still very cool.

At the end of the day I went to Mos burger with Noah (marinara on a burger is great). We also went to a 2nd hand store and a laundromat. Finally, I went to the onsen and got to take a rare locker room pic (🤫 don't tell anyone).

[jpmay23-kb]

Day 6 - Kii Katsura

Morning of day 4 and we find ourselves on a train to Kii Katsura. I am not very enthused about going, as I know about the area’s history with whaling and dolphin hunting and I have very strong beliefs against those trades. The visit went better than I expect though, as I had the opportunity to not go to the Taiji Whale Museum, an institution who’s practices regarding the capture and holding of cetaceans is absolutely atrocious. Instead, I had the opportunity to discuss and learn about the whaling controversy from someone who lives in and has done research on the community. It was interesting to hear someone who knew both sides of the argument and was open to discussing it and not letting that discussion become an argument. I myself am of the opinion that I would never ever eat whale meat, but I understand that it is a part of some cultures and those cultures should have the right to continue their practices without the judgement of foreigners, that is, as long as it’s being done sustainably and as humanely as possible. That, however, has nothing to do with dolphin hunting and the capture of wild cetaceans for aquariums and marine parks. Those practices are not traditional, having started in the 1950s copying the despicable practices of companies like SeaWorld in the west. The Taiji whale museum in particular is guilty of perpetuating these practices while keeping the animals in abysmal conditions. I wish there was some other way to learn about the whaling culture and history of the town without supporting an institution that has such cruel practices.

After those that decided to go to the Whale Museum were done, we made our way over to Hotel Urashima, where we got to spend the night in a traditional style room and enjoy natural hot spring baths. The hotel shows an interesting mix of tradition and modernity. Starting with the rooms, they are traditionally furnished, with tatami mats, sliding doors, and Japanese floor mattresses, but they were set up in the style of a hotel, with multiple floors, individual bathrooms, and rooms that don’t connect to each other. Additionally, we were given yukata to where around the hotel, even though a large portion of it is dedicated to an arcade. Bringing the traditional and the modern together to make this hotel experience was very well thought out, and made an excellent way for us all to relax after an intense start to our trip.

[sussex-nature-lover]

Sunday 9th October 2-2022

Bateman’s Gardens in the Autumn

*bold type is an outside link if you click through

We’re still getting very heavy rains, fortunately over the last week or so it seems they fall mostly overnight. So now all the lawns are nice and green and of course everything’s growing like crazy. Yesterday we had Ms NWtE, her husband and their dog visiting and so we took advantage of fine, dry, sunny and really warm conditions to take a nice walk at Bateman’s (see the National Trust link in the header) It was absolutely glorious, didn’t even need a cardigan.

We go so often that we don’t always go inside the house, but yesterday there was a demonstration of spinning with local sheep wool, so we did pop in to watch that and talk to the lady while she was at work. She was taught by a local group of farmers’ wives when she moved in to the area 16 years ago. It’s quite mesmerising to watch.

When you enter into the gardens the first section you come to is the higher level vegetable beds and orchard, with far reaching views and a glimpse of the house lower down into the valley.

Despite the summer’s drought, the vegetable beds seem quite fulsome now, although it’s a slightly in-between period with some going over and some yet to reach harvest.

Above, these were the artichokes

There was some evidence of broccoli, perhaps heading for quiche in the Orchard Tearooms at some stage?

National Trust aim to be benign gardeners - we saw quite a few caterpillars from the large Cabbage White butterfly, having a feast and more evidence of nature helping nature.

One bed had a good amount of healthy looking leeks 

At the bottom of the kitchen garden the pear arch, beside the greenhouse, is a lovely feature. This is from a previous year. I’m looking forward to seeing the new scheme.

One of the things I love about visiting National Trust properties is that whether it’s in the house or the gardens, you always discover something new. Above is the Medlar tree in the orchard, but yesterday I found another round at the side of the house.

Not only is the fruit unusual looking, it has to be treated quite differently too, being stored carefully and allowed to ‘mature’ before it’s fit to eat. This process is known as bletting. I quite fancy one of the trees as they sound delightful and easy peasy to grow too. This is a description and guide through all its stages.

My other link tells what you can actually do with the fruit, which is related to apples and quince. The suggestions are mostly jelly and jam type of thing, but there is a kind of fruit cheese curd, although I do like the look of the tart...realistically I can’t see me ever getting around to the faff with the fruit and then making it.

I just enjoyed the blue skies and the photos I could take. Here’s a new flower on the Magnolia Grandiflora. It’s much later than we’ve had in our garden, but it is sheltered against the stone walls of the house.

Talking of trees, down in the wild area by the river, I did my annual sniff the air test as we walked past the candy floss tree.

Katsura Tree on the far right here  (Cercidiphyllum japonicum)

I’ve dried some leaves from yesterday, not quite the glorious colour we spotted last year. It was absolutely stunning and the perfume really is strong. I’m not sure why they’ve taken away the sign because I’m betting lots of people stroll through and don’t even register it. I want one of these too.

Back through the rose garden, which still had plenty of late blooms, we could see that the benches and seats were being well used. It was quite a busy afternoon for visitors walking dogs and enjoying the sunshine. The tea room and outside seating was absolutely packed.

In home based nature news we’re still seeing deer across the lane and the garden feeders are busy with great spotted woodpeckers, starlings, house sparrows, marsh, blue and great tits and the long tailed tits are here several times a day on a flying stopover between their nest areas and the woods. In smaller numbers there are robins, goldfinch, dunnocks and nuthatch, plus the ever present wood pigeons who are displaying - obviously to no avail! The robins have been singing and chatting. They’ve done really well again this year.

Inspector Pritchard has spent a bit less time with us, lured away next door but one by a superior brand of cat biscuits and his very own food bowl. That boy’s treated like a prince, no, a king. No wonder he hasn’t strayed further since he landed on his feet round here.

Garden tree watch: we have a real splash of colour, but apart from that, only glimpses of what’s to come with the oak showing a tiny bit of yellow.

Next door’s willow tree still has all its leaves

And in much neglected kitchen news, the smell of supper simmering earlier was mouth watering. It’s Indian spiced shepherd’s pie. One to eat and one for the freezer. The spices were cooked down and are then mingled with the meat, onions and other veg. It’s very simple but smells like a lot of effort’s gone into it. This is the basic recipe. I haven’t linked to the chef’s own site as she now skips all the spices and includes a pre mixed kit for sale in supermarkets. Years ago I invested in a couple of masala dabbas and so I have all the spices I need to hand, stored so I can see them in the airtight container that lives inside a dark cupboard.  Usually we’d have the recipe as a cottage pie, so the lamb is a change for us - one link remains though, I include carrot, mainly because I’m a big carrot fan, but more veg is good, no?  I’m watching collie dogs hunting for white truffles in Piedmont on TV, but our tastes are much more simple and this is a go-to autumn and winter staple that we never tire of. 

[fireemblems24]

Merit Based System

This is a bit all over the place. Sorry about that. I watched a show this weekend that really illustrates why I no longer believe in Edelgard's system after her support with Ferdinand.

Spoilers for Fire Emblem Three Houses CF route and Edelgard & Ferdinand's support and the show Segodon up to episode 8.

Segodon is a taiga drama that retells the life of historical figure Saigo Takamori a. k. a. the last samurai. This man was a brilliant politician and played an instrumental role in Japan's tumultuous 1800s where they overthrew the shogun and instated a modern government. The show itself is absolutely fantastic so far (though, I love anything to do with the Bakumatsu, no, that's a lie, there's some real shitty Bakumatsu anime.).

Like the real life Saigo, the fictional representation has a lot of "merit." As the show writes him, he has a high level of empathy for people who are hurting because of Japan's horrible, outdated systems and is constantly does whatever is in his power to convince the powers that be to back off a bit because their taxes and punishments are so harsh at times, his native Satsuma was at serious risk of starving its entire agricultural force out of work.

Not only is Saigo intelligent, but he's also tenacious. He "dares" to ask his "betters" to see the errors of their way, goes out of his way to try and get audiences with people far above his station, and does everything he possibly can to help everyone around him. Whether he's tackling problems with a larger system or a hurting individual around him, he's trying his best to make things right. And when people listen to him, things improve. People are also naturally drawn to his leadership and overall gentle disposition.

He's also broke.

Saigo comes from a very poor, very large family. So when the powers that be grant him an opportunity to travel to Edo (then capital of Japan), where he could get real experience, where he could start rubbing shoulders with the right people and find ways to gain influence, learn, etc . . . He can't. Because his family can't cough up 30 ryo.

No matter how much merit Saigo has, his upbringing keeps him from reaching his full potential. The top leadership of the area invites him to the opportunity of a life time, but even with an open invitation, he can't so easily accept it.

His mother, father, and grandfather had all just died (and this is a historical fact, at least) and left him in charge. The family went into even more debt buying medicine during various illnesses. There's younger and elder family he needs to look out for, a sister who he now needs to find a husband for, and a new wife on top of everything else. They don't have 30 ryo to spare.

No matter how much merit Saigo has, no matter how much he wants to make a difference, he can't. Because he was born into poverty, because he can't afford to step away from the family land or else risk running out of food in the winter. His merit isn't enough. You need privilege. And he's already got privilege in that he wasn't born a farmer, that he has the personal attention of those in charge through connections and channels his family name permitted him, he's already jumped over hurdles others can't - and he still can't take advantage of his merit.

A merit based system benefits those who have and punishes the have nots. All the rich kids with rich parents who don't have to think twice about spending 30 ryo and have servants to take care of the elderly and young in their families. They can take every opportunity so the gap widens even further. Even worse, a merit based system tells the people born poor, born sick, born neurologically divergent, born into an abusive family, born into a historically disadvantaged race/gender/sexuality/etc, etc . . . that it's their fault they're not at the top. That if they just "tried harder" and had "more merit" they could make it. You too could be a billionaire if you just pulled on your bootstraps hard enough, and failure means you didn't try hard enough. And, yes, this is very much happening in our culture today.

That Edelgard didn't even consider something as huge as inequality before starting a war that would kill thousands really shocked me. Her support with Ferdinand exposed just how naive she is and how narrow-minded her world-view and experiences are. If she's going to sacrifice thousands of people for her supposedly better system, I wish she'd put at least some thought into it.

I do not expect a Fire Emblem game to get hyper-political or into nitty-gritty details. Honestly, I wish this support didn't exist. If their A-Support focused just on educational reform or even Ferdinand cementing himself as a actual check/rival to Edelgard, then I'd be more willing to believe she could make a good leader. But, for some reason, they decided to use this support to show how little Edelgard actually thought about her actions despite the dire consequences of them. These details aren't needed. These lines could be completely omitted and let the reader imagine Edegard has the political know-how to actually pull what she wants off. But instead the game went out of it's way to show she doesn't really have a single clue what she's talking about, and I cannot fathom why. This isn't even touching on her admitting it didn't even occur to her that her actions would leave a power vacuum and would need to fill it (like - what -), but that's for another day.

THIS is why I can't get behind Edelgard. Because her merit based system isn't worth all the lives she destroyed in her war. She thinks her ideas are worth everyone that dies, but her ideas aren't well thought out. This episode 8 of Segodon illustrated perfectly why Edelgard's system is a house of cards that will do nothing but pat the nobility and otherwise rich and privileged on the back while blaming farmers and otherwise disadvantaged for their continued poverty because "lack of merit."

I honestly can't express how badly I wish these lines in this support didn't exist. It serves no purpose except to expose Edelgard's lack of forethought and lack of understanding about the lives of the people she's claiming she's making better.

But, yeah, watching this episode just made me think about Edelgard's system and reminded me again of the exact moment I gave up on supporting her war.

(spoiler alert about Segodon: all those people he kept helping scrounge together 30 ryo so he can go to Edo and leaves the lands in charge of his younger brother, and yes, he's going to go down in history, but also . . . prepare for a downer ending if you actually watch this (I mean . . . it's the Bakumatsu). I already know I'm going to cry my fucking eyes out and I haven't even meant this version of Sakamoto Ryoma yet)

[dadtoki]

Gintama characters reacting to GH declaring that they are dating:

Kagura: Oh nice, new mommy. Now give me pocket money tax thief, it is not easy joining our elite family.

Shinpachi: Finally, someone sensible other than me will be in this pl- (sees Hijikata slurping on mayo), nevermind, this place is hopeless.

Sacchan: (From the roof screaming) MAN STEALER!

Kondo: Nice one Toshi. You get an in on Yorozuya (the group), I get an in on Yorozuya. You get to go in on Yorozuya (the person), I get to go in on Otae ch- (THUD)

Otae: (Wiping blood off her hands with a serene smile). Congratulations you two. It sure took you guys a long time to realize your friendship was not just platonic. I mean, Hijikata kun has been pining for you since day 1 Gin san. How did it take you this long to-

Kyubei: Ehem... Otae chan... (subtly pointing at their joined hands).

Otae: (blushing ever so slightly) Oh, right. Yeah maybe I shouldn’t be one to talk.

Sacchan: (From a wardrobe) HUSSY!

Sougo: I can’t say I am too thrilled that you decided to side with the enemy to be honest.

Hijikata: It just happened, I-

Sougo: I was talking to the boss. Anyway, I will be sending to you a file with all blackmail material on Hijikata san by monday Boss, you might need it.

Nobume: Congrats. As your kouhai and your superior officer, as well as every other police here, I am happy for you guys.

Hijikata: You just like reminding us of that don’t you?

Nobume: (nibbling on a Donut) Maybe. Just don’t do anything inappropriate in front of Soyo hime, or I will have to butcher you in the most graphic way possible. I can’t let you be a bad influence to her.

Gintoki: You are the biggest bad influence to her.

Sacchan: (from god knows where) BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!

Tsukuyo: (comes out of one of the rooms while dragging Sacchan by the leg who is thrashing around), congratulations you two. Also, nice to meet you, I don’t think we formerly met before. I am not sure why you would choose a guy like him, but you seem like a kindred soul. (shakes hands with Toshi the slightest hint of a sad smile, while holding Sacchan with the other hand effortlessly).

Sacchan: LET GO OF ME TSUKKY! I AM GONNA TEAR HIM TO PIECES, I AM- wow you are strong... How are you even-

Katsura: I can’t accept that, Gintoki. Hijikata kun is our enemy. We are supposed to destroy them. We are supposed to tear them apart. 

Gintoki: Oh believe me, I do those things on regular basis...

Katsura: What are yo- NO. BAD GINTOKI. NO. I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT, LALALALA. HAVE FUN DATING YOUR GOVERNMENT’S DOG BOYFRIEND, I AM OUT. NOPE.

Sakamoto: He still can’t handle anything sexual huh? Ahahaha ahaha haha... Well, Takasugi is going to be sad to hear this, but congratulations. (A random sword hits him in the butt, he falls over blood gushing from it. Gintoki finds a note attached to the sword.)

- Congratulations. I will destroy, that rotten relationship.-

[verlaines-corner-archive]

From an anon whose asked was deleted due to tumblr tagging problems (of which I am so very sorry TwT): Is Fyodor having a God complex canon or fanon? Doesn’t he refer to himself as God in the manga? What are his religious beliefs?

Now analysis is in no way my forte, however I am a Fyodor enthusiast and would like to think I have some skill in this area, so I tried my best haha.

Fyodor and his mischaracterisation 

Now to answer your question, no, Fyodor does not have a god complex. This is a mischaracterisation due in large part to the animes portrayal of his character.

It kind of takes his character and dumbs it down almost, making him a lot more stereotypical in his villain hood. Some of this can be attributed to all the evil grins and creepy faces he makes. Now in general I have nothing against the turtle smile, but comparing it to his smile in the manga which (while certainly sinister) is soft, it doesn’t do him any favours.

But I think a lot of the mischaracterisation comes from scenes that have either been left out, or scenes that have been added into the anime by Bones. There are two scenes in particular I think are worth mentioning here.

The first one is some of Fyodor’s interactions with Karma that were cut from the anime, specifically these panels here:

Now this is a small interaction and is overshadowed by Karma explaining how he ended up under Ace as a slave, but it adds a fair bit in terms of not only humanising Fyodor but also making Karma’s little exposition dump feel more natural.

We have Fyodor, who up until this point has been confident and reserved, slouched over and rubbing his nose. The panel makes him seem childish almost, like he just intends to wallow in self pity. It’s a very small detail but it helps to add character. However I feel like it’s really strengthened by Karma’s reaction.

In the anime when Karma goes to dry Fyodor’s hair he’s seemingly bored, nonchalant about the whole thing. But as we can see in the manga he’s almost enthusiastic about it, playful. He’s laughing and smiling and in general the atmosphere feels lighter. It creates the idea that Karma, while perhaps not necessarily trusting of Fyodor, is somewhat comfortable around him, which makes Karma explaining his situation feel like a natural progression of events. 

By removing it from the anime not only does it make Fedya more one dimensional, but in my opinion also makes Karma feel less human too, and his whole explanation about himself less warranted if that makes sense.

The second scene I want to mention is the cello scene. Now in both the anime and the manga it plays out the same for the most part; Fyodor is interrogating Katsura about the ADA, more specifically about Kunikida.

The main difference, and problem, comes from how the scene ends. In the manga it ends with Fyodor saying “Joy to the world and blessings for all its children”. This is accompanied by him with his head tilted back and his eyes closed, and the whole scene carries this melancholic feeling to it.

Now while we do get that in the anime, Bones adds an extra scene afterwards in which our beloved Fedya is shown standing above a now broken cello with an almost comically evil smirk on his face. We’re led to believe that he either kills or harms Katsura here, while in the manga that’s never the case. 

It replaces the melancholic tone from earlier with one of malice, while also replacing Fyodor’s seemingly reflective attitude with what could almost be described as blood-lust. It ruins what is otherwise a heavy moment.

These mischaracterisations makes him seem more shallow in the anime, and if we combine that with his religious jargon, makes the jump from ‘wanting to cleanse sin’ to ‘emotionless with a side of god complex’ a lot easier. 

Does Fyodor refer to himself as god?

There are no instances in the manga where Fyodor refers to himself as God.

During his manga debut in chapter 12 he actually refers to himself as ‘The hand of God’ instead. This term is also seen again in chapter 42, when he is captured by Ace, which is titled ‘Sins granted by the hand of God’. 

It is also worth mentioning that in the anime this episode is titled ‘My ill deeds are the work of God’.

So no dear anon, Fyodor does not appear to believe himself to be God nor does he refer to himself as such. He merely believes himself to be acting out God’s will.

Instead of a god complex he does however seem to have some sort of saviour complex. He sees himself as the one who will cleanse humanity of their ‘sins’, the one that will burden this task. It does also seem to be more complex than just that though.

If we go off the assumption that Fyodor does genuinely believe himself to be doing the correct thing, that he thinks by wiping out ability users he is making the world a safer place, then we could also assume that he intends to include himself. That his current path is one of self destruction. 

We could also presume that Fyodor sees himself as a sinner, as much as any other ability user. The only difference being that his ability appears to be a manifestation of death, meaning he is the perfect one to carry out God’s will. Fyodor has good intentions, just a less than savoury execution to put it lightly.

This however is all speculation, and we won’t know for certain until it’s revealed in the manga (hopefully through a backstory please Asagiri I am on my knees).

Religious beliefs

Now despite all of Fyodor’s religious jargon I don’t believe it’s ever actually stated whether or not he is actually religious (and if so what faith he practises) or if all his religious talk is merely a justification and not something he himself actually believes.

I’ve seen some people speculate that he has some form of religious trauma or that he’s orthodox in belief, hence why he is the way he is, but once again we don’t know for certain.

[astersofthesky]

Sakamoto Tatsuma || November 15

A birthday appreciation post about the Loudest Fellow in Gintama

I've said it before, but Sakamoto is such an underrated character. Despite his lack of screentime, you can clearly sense his importance and impact with our resident main characters, the Shoka Sonjuku trio

Sakamoto only met them during the Joui War, meaning these three have formed a bond more stronger and closer while he is nothing but a stranger to them.

Sakamoto have always been bright, cheerful, and positive. He may be loud and obnoxious, but Sakamoto is kind and he values his ideologies and relationships a lot. It's not a shock that despite him not having any close relations to Shoyou, he managed to extremely get close to the three.

Once the Joui 4 went to do things on their own, the Shoka Sonjuku trio have lost all kind of contacts with each other. They went their own ways since they can't bear the pain the other brings whenever they see their faces. Gintoki, Katsura, and Takasugi "cut" of their bonds, but not Sakamoto Tatsuma.

"Sakamoto Tatsuma is the glue that kept the Shoka Sonjuku trio from fully falling apart"

Sakamoto is a simple man. He doesn't let adversity affect him for long as evident in the Kaientai Arc and his past as to why he uses a gun. That's why when the Joui 4 broke apart, instead of lamenting at what's lost, Sakamoto chose to stay positive and hold on to that bond.

He gave Zura Elizabeth, he visits Gintoki from time to time, and if he was able to contact Takasugi, then I believe he would have talked to him too.

Sakamoto always believed that one day, he'd be able to see his friends again at his sides, smiling and laughing, the way they used to do.

While this is a gag moment, this can be seen as an actual visual presentation of Sakamoto acting as their glue and mediator.

Even he feels self-doubt, proving that he isn't just always laughter and sunshines, Sakomoto Tatsuma is just as human

We rarely get introspection from Sakamoto. The moment we got one, this is what we see.

(This part is just my opinion btw and I might have projected a tiny little bit too lmao)

Sakamoto cares so much about his friends, this scene shows that he too, was deeply affected by their fallout. He may try to brush it off by laughing, but deep inside, he just wanted to have them back. That's why when they reunited, he was so elated to the point that he doesn't care about the battle outcome anymore.

But he knows how important the fight is to them and this thought won't allow him to just fully be happy with their reunion. To think that Sakamoto even thought Gintoki and the others would feel disappointed about his true feelings shows that he feels insecure about his friendship with them.

Sakamoto Tatsuma is not too deep of a character but this reason alone is what makes him a great comfort character

[sems-diarie]

sem i was rewatching a couple of gintama episodes for serotonin and i can’t help but gush over how adorable gintoki is i love that man sm 🥺 do you have a favourite episode you remember or a fav arc?

OHHH YEAHHHHH

okay okay let’s get it going- so sorry this got embarrassingly long -

the shogun assassination arc STOLE MY BREATH AWAY. kamui and sougo had me by my neck (and still do) and the fact that we got to see gintoki n takasugi together again!? i absolutely adore watching them on screen together. also! i’ve always loved shige but this was the arc that solidified him for me.

the snow vacation arc w shige was so fucking funny, too 😭😭😭😭😭 when kagura and otae didn’t wanna touch him because he was greasy and stinky it had me in tears

okay and then, the farewell shinsengumi arc was so good. gintama, i feel like, is character-dependent because around here is when the overarching plotline becomes a bit confusing for me—but i love nobume and isaburo so much. the love her has for her—i wish for it. gintama proves itself over and over again to cherish family, but this was when i knew.

shinpachi’s saber beam arc had me so fucking emotional lmfaooo. it was so bad bc we were just coming out of the courtesan of a nation arc (which left me heaving and huffing for hours afterwards LMFAOOO) then the shogun assassination arc, and then farewell shinsengumi—back to back to back, i couldn’t breathe. but it also felt so good to see shinpachi love and be loved like that. it was a new side of him for me (i don’t rlly like his character but i do appreciate him when it counts). and we got the golden gintoki begging scene that still leaves me choked up to this day rmfaooo. he loves those kids so much bro. and he isn’t afraid to throw away his pride for them because he knows- he knows that pride will never be worth the pain it can bring.

i rewatch the joui 4 reunion arc a lot bc i like seeing them all together during the war 🥺 s’comforting.

the popularity poll arc 😭😭😭 it got GRITTY SO QUICK LMFAOOO. everyone was clawing for power. i also love how our mc was #1. hair flip. as per usual. and the way it started w yamazaki getting mugged 😭😭😭 LMFAOOO

i fucking LOVE the gender swap arc RMFAOOO specifically for kyuubei <333333 and tskuyou. she was so fine as a man i’d let them both breed fr

yoshiwara in flames and the red spider arcs are classics. gintoki and tsu are a compelling duo—which is why I ADOREEEE THE LOVE POLLEN SPECIALSSSSS. i especially liked the spider arc bc gintoki knows what good love looks like, what it feels like. and he wants that for tsukki. the way he gets so angry on her behalf (and maybe a little of his own) is exactly why he’s so dear to me as an mc. he carries his supporting characters with a special kind of oomf.

the saw arc with hijikata and sougo was unbelievable i hate them so much 😭

i am also especially fond of the jirocho arc. that fight at the grave yard was actually what got me into gintama!! i saw a clip of him gnashing that sword and knew i’d give ‘toki some babies lmfaooo. and also—the way he loves, the way gintoki gives so much love and protection even though he’s only felt it once from one parental figure in his childhood…. when he, kagura, and shinpachi got into that fight and they told him life wouldn’t be fun without him and he told them he just wanted them to live. i don’t think i’ll ever recover. he’s the only man in the world for me.

i also liked the jail arc!! watching gintoki terrorize the other prisoners 😭😭😭

i really liked the gintoki-hijikata soul switch arc solely for the new gintoki hair style.

oh my GOD. THE CHEATING ARC!?? WITH OTOSE AND OTAE AND TSKUYOU AND LITERALLY EVERY WOMAN IN THE MAIN CAST!? LMRMFKO i was laid out the whole time. and jealous ☹️ i wanna be his lil wife or whatever ☹️

i appreciate the arc on kagura and kamui’s home planet bc we got to see development from all sides of the fight (katsura blossoming into zura) and i love it esp bc where everyone started coming together again 🥺🥺🥺 kamui and kagura’s backstory had me geeked so hard. i will forever love that kagura doesn’t really hold it against him for leaving her (or, she does, but if he wanted to come home she’d take him in with open arms)—but it still makes me angry that he did.

last but not least (and the most obvious) the exact plot of the silver soul arc was messy but when i tell you i was geeked 400% in every episode. especially the part when everyone was sleeping and partying and just enjoying each other’s company. the greatest thing about gintama is it’s ability to make you feel like you’re there.

but anyways, generally? if the episode has gintoki and takasugi or shigeshige or kagura and sougo or kamui in it, it’s def a favorite. or if all the girls get together. and literally every episode with gintoki backstory gives me serotonin. or episodes where both the shinsengumi and odd jobs are in them. yeah :D

[ukaiknowsbest]

Building up on @asideblogofananimelover's GinTae and KatsuMatsu parallels post, I want to add more to their observations. (from beam saber arc and homeless arc)

1. Arc starts by childhood friend visiting and interacting with the pairs in question.

Hajime showing up in Shimura residence while Yorozuya was hanging out and listening to Tae and her plans.

Yorozuya eating at the Ikumatsu's ramen place while Katsura was also there. tbf Ikumatsu's has always been Gin's favorite ramen place lol.

[long post ahead]

2. Childhood friend immediately assume they're dating/sleeping together with the new person because they seem to hang out a lot together and are way too comfortable in each other's presence.

Hajime assuming Otae and Gintoki are dating and that Gintoki will be the next master of the Shimura dojo.

Gintoki assuming Katsura has been sleeping with Ikumatsu-dono because he seemed too concerned about her loneliness

3. Person being questioned saying "It's not like that!"

Otae vs Hajime

Katsura vs Gintoki

4. Childhood secrets/crushes of person being questioned were revealed.

Otae vs Shinpachi telling the truth

Katsura vs Gintoki revealing his fetish

5. Person being questioned stabbing childhood friend to shut them up.

Otae vs. Hajime

Katsura threatening Gintoki with a sword and saying that he just loves Ikumatsu's soba,

6. The first bit of the past was revealed because of the meals that were served.

Hajime passed out because of Otae's dark matter, leading Gengai to see the problem

Ikumatsu told a touching story about her and her husband while serving Yorozuya + Katsura some ramen.

7. Katsura and Gintoki both trying their best to bring back the loved ones of Ikumatsu and Otae without their knowledge.

Gintoki making it his mission to bring back the human part of Hajime alive and acting as if he just wants to kill Hajime regardless of Shinpachi's and Otae's feelings. He even sacrificed his pride two times in one day just to get Shinsengumi and Yagyuu clan to back down.

Katsura going undercover with Yorozuya among the homeless people in the city so that they can look for an old man that Ikumatsu had been looking for.

8. Katsura and Gintoki sacrificing their bodies to save the families of the ladies.

Gintoki was beat up badly during his fight with Hajime.

Katsura had to jump in a rapidly flowing river to try to save Ikumatsu and her dad.

9. All these talk about helping love rivals

BEAM SABER ARC

Kondou: We're really got the short end of the stick, lending our hand to our rival in love... even if we win this fight we wont have anything left on our side eh, kyubei-kun?

Kyubei: We're better off than that idiot GIntoki, since he's having to bow his head all over the place even while being driven out his position as big brother and because he knew why through tough times and sad times the reason why Tae-chan smiled.

HOMELESS ARC

Gintoki: How benevolent. You're pitching in to protect the promise made by your love rival?

Katsura: Unfortunately, I'm not his rival in love nor can I become it. Because there is only one man in Ikumatsu's eyes.

10. Ladies running to the place where the loved ones they lost are

Ikumatsu running and trying to serve ramen to her dad even while thugs pursued her.

Otae and Shinpachi going to the place Hajime and Gintoki were fighting in order to help.

11. The familes of the Otae and Ikumatsu were reunited even if the result was bittersweet.

Hajime sacrifices himself and dies happy knowing that he has been finally reunited with Otae and Shinpachi.

Ikumatsu being reunited with her dad who has gone senile.

Notes:

It's just so sweet how Gintoki and Katsura both found people they care a lot and will do anything for. Katsura is way more honest than Gintoki though because he's pretty straightforward with what he wants. Moreover he was the client in this arc. In Beam Saber, most of Gintoki's intentions (especially regarding Otae) were revealed by others like the Shinsengumi and the Kyuubei. We don't really hear much from his mouth other than saying "I promise to bring him back to you."

Anyhow both arcs are good character developments for them and the lives and bonds they have nurtured in Edo.

Katsura's one sided love for Ikumatsu is basically canon. Ikumatsu trusts and cares for him in her own quiet way too (I mean..they lived together for a while after all). As for Gintoki, we only barely scratched the surface.

I'm sure there are more parallels but these are the ones on top of my head I can remember.

Another thing to note is that Homeless Arc took place 30 chapters after Beam Saber. Gintoki using Hajime's line of questioning on Katsura makes you wonder how much of Katsura's experiences Gintoki empathized with.

GinTae musings:

GinTae shipping really fun because of stuff like this. You can get many aspects from the canon couples in Gintama and see how GinTae moments that are spread throughout the series parallel them. We'll never know what is the real deal with Gintoki and Tae Shimura since they have neither confirmed nor denied anything despite many characters assuming that they are together in some capacity. What we know is that they are hella close, spend lots of offscreen time together and are already a solid family unit together with Shinpachi, Kagura and Sadaharu. Yorozuya + Otae is even rarer in official art even though Otae is clearly an integral part of the team.

[epicdogymoment]

just thinking about gintokis cycle of being alone then being found then being alone again:

he starts off alone as the corpse-eating demon, then he’s found by shouyou and he gets taken along to shouka sonjuku and meets katsura and takasugi as sakata gintoki, then the joui war where he meets sakamoto as shiroyasha, and then he loses shouyou to his own hands, and he loses the other three too.

then gintoki is left drifting alone in the aftershocks of the joui war, just a wandering ronin, who offers his life in the place of a small girl’s, who gets sent to jail and gets sent to be executed, whose life gets spared by the executioner because who could kill a good man? who was left wandering again, who made his way to a graveyard already on the brink of death and survives by the kindness of a stranger and makes a one-sided promise to her late husband that i will protect her in your place.

he starts a yorozuya by himself, above that old widow’s place and eventually gathers a few people around him, then they break up and he’s left alone again, for god knows how long until a few chance encounters has him collecting more and more people, until suddenly he has a family again who won’t leave him alone no matter what, and he lives out his days as yorozuya gin-chan.

except. following the events of be forever yorozuya, once he realises that hes the vector for this virus, he isolates himself, but not before seeking out the bare minimum of help needed to get himself to help him not only isolate himself from the world and cut off every single one of his ties, but to erase himself from existence, because he knows that nobody else would have the nerve to do it. he spends five years by himself, dead to the world, and leaves all of his ties built up over time distraught over his absence because sakata gintoki belongs with people, even if he doesnt think he deserves it. and they have to all go back in time to drag him back from the edge of nonexistence and convince him that yes we want you around, and yes our lives are better with you in it.

going back to canon canon territory, gintoki fights together with his family and his ties for the sake of his family and his ties, and his past and the shiroyasha come back to haunt him, and once the battle is “won”, he pushes away his family in the present and gets sucked back into his past to search all over japan, alone, for two years straight, but he still gets dragged back to his present, to his family, to edo, because sakata gintoki belongs with people, and because he has kids to take care of, goddamnit, and because home is where you are. so he makes his way back to edo and they finally, finally finish the battle for real and his past is finally dead and buried in the ground. so he reforms the yorozuya and returns to being gin-chan, surrounded by his family in the present.

and here we get into… post-canon stuff. because he’s back together with his kids, but they’re getting older, and sooner or later they’ll have flown the nest and he’ll be left alone up there again, as the solitary yorozuya gin-chan. and maybe they come back to visit often, but really, he’s all alone again, isn’t he? and all the better for them too, right? because no matter how many times they try to pound into him that we enjoy your company and we need you around, he still seems to think that his ties with other people are holding them back from something. you must have something you really want to do, so you dont have to be tethered to me, even though he knows that he wants and needs other people around.

so when his kids eventually get too big for his little house, who is he to stop them from leaving? hell, he would probably try and encourage them to go and carve their own lives out for himself, because he can handle himself (even if he wants them around), and the yorozuya used to be a one-man operation before you lot came around (even if it was a lot better when he had company). and sakata gintoki ends up alone again, because he thinks that its better off like this.

[seal7035]

about joui3 and friendship(spoiler)

These punky adults are living in my head rent-free. They have known each other since young, shitty brats with the attitude of a mower. They shared the same school, same spirit, same teacher... It was just the good old days and when tragedy struck, all 3 went to war. Then friend-to-friend camaraderie turned into absolute trust, of people who entrust their own lives to other comrades to fight side-by-side on battlefields, “your life is my life” kind of thing. Imagine that kind of bond then one day they just... broke off. Something happened and that tie was irreversibly damaged. 10 years passed, they reunited, but not as friends(except for Katsura and Gintoki). Oh no, they became mortal enemies and would probably skewer each other on sight. I mean, Gintoki and Takasugi did. Slash, stab, a few limbs would have gone flying if not for plot amour. They screamed anguish more painful than any wound blades could inflict. And when finally, FINALLY, these brats in adult’s bodies were on speaking term... one of them fucking died! At Gintoki’s own hand! Bloody dammit this show! 

But what I was trying to say is... dramatic as joui3′s story is, it kinda resembles some of our real-life friendship. Not the “kill you on sight” thing, but the fact that we come across and befriend many people in our lifetime. Some are attached to us by the hips. However, as much as your anime boys like to shout about eternal friendship and life-long commitments, the fact is, eventually people would go separate ways. Maybe you keep in touch and meet up once in a while, but maybe not as close as you used to be because everyone has their own life to take care of now. In some cases, one day you talk to a friend and another day received a notice of his/her funeral. It was bittersweet, and it can be distressing to think about at times. 

It’s the beauty about relationships in this show, and many other shows I have come across. It strips away the sugarcoating in the present and presents to us the poignant core in the future. The status quo will change. Nothing lasts forever. As our silver-haired samurai painfully articulated, “Life doesn’t have to be fun. I just want you to live”. Even if he had uttered it in a fit of despair, it does speak to Yorozuya’s situation. Shinpachi and Kagura are still young, they have an entire life ahead of them and will inevitably choose their own paths. Not to mention, as a Yato, Kagura would naturally outlive most of the cast. Will she have new friends then? Will she forget the trio of misfits and move on with her life? I don’t think so. She will move on, I believe that, but she won’t forget. Just as the Joui3 never forfeit the old days as much as they want to say otherwise. When all the conflicts died down was when the sentiments from all those years ago resurfaced. Almost too easily, those brats in adult form were bickering again, even only for a while, to rekindle the spirit still flickering in each of them. So that when it went awry and it was time to say goodbye, they could return to simply be the three brats of Shouka Sonjuku. 

Is this show trying to give us the resolution to deal with friends we have lost touch with? I don’t know. With the Gorilla author kept throwing around poop jokes and breaking the 4th wall, I don’t think he was aiming for anything so philosophical. The message to appreciate people in your life is certainly there, though. 

“Even if where you are now is beneath the sky you don’t recognize, even if where you are now is beneath a sky without us, please don’t cry. Because we are always with you...  beneath your sky.”

[curedigiqueen]

Sorry for the delay, I've been fighting battles in the real world (boring schoolwork-related battles, but battles nevertheless). Honestly, when I finalized the Katsura's I was tired and was just going to call it a day. Which is a shame, because I feel like I didn't do them justice, but whatever. And I was going to do the same for Haru… but Haru’s section is the one I had the most issues with, to begin with. Simply because as our main character, he’s perhaps got the most going on, but also the most straightforward which is just overall not very appealing to write honestly. So Haru involves a bit more rewatching and I just didn't have time, (Most of the Katsura’s brother’s details are confined to a few easily identifiable episodes) so I just cast it aside. And Haru's relates a lot to Yuujin which. Hoo boy. I have a lot to say about him.

Anyway, without further delay here are my thoughts on our main protagonist.

Haru is the kind of boy who watches and admires hot-headed anime protagonists, rather than the kind of boy who is a hot-headed anime protagonist. Though he admires these characters greatly for their values and beliefs, Haru himself starts the show viewing himself as a side character. This is a point that is refuted in-universe by Yuujin, and out-of-universe by well, Haru being billed as the protagonist. “Are you a protagonist?” is the question that defines Haru’s arc, and Haru spends the season proving his response of “yes” true to himself and those around him. But Haru’s assessment that he's more of a side character is not inaccurate when it comes to his personality. He can be somewhat self-centered and prone to annoyance and embarrassment. He’s not very confident, he’s a bit cowardly, likes to read, not athletic but also not shown to be particularly intelligent. He’s not shown to be dumb, or anything, just nothing is really made of his academic abilities and he’s not shown to be particularly strategic. In fact, he on multiple occasions is shown to be fairly clever, but he doesn’t exactly make up for his more mild personality with genius strategic ability. He is able to come up with applicable search terms to situations, deciding to draw Shootmon’s attention using Puzzlemon, and using Navimon to track Mienumon. But He takes hours to solve Puzzlemon’s puzzles (though he does solve them which is more than Astra or Eri can say.

Haru’s story is about becoming a protagonist. Though at the beginning of the series Haru decides for himself he’s going to be a protagonist, this is a fate that was out of his hands. Though we don’t know it at first, Haru has a very personal connection to this whole thing, as Haru’s grandfather is responsible for this whole mess, but more importantly, Haru has been monitored by super AI since he was a small child. Super AI who manipulated events throughout the entire season, for all our protagonists, but in particular have been manipulating the events in Haru’s life since he was in 4th grade at the least. He himself is an ordinary boy, but he’s part of an extraordinary situation, even if he doesn’t know it at first. A situation where knowingly or not Haru has been monitored and groomed to be an ideal protagonist. While we don’t know to what degree Haru has been influenced, if really much at all (purposefully) prior to the series start beyond monitoring, AI has unknowingly played a huge role in who Haru is.

But even so, Haru’s nature as a kind, fantasy-loving, boy is genuine. His desire to be a protagonist is real, even if potentially encouraged even indirectly, by Leviathan, the machinations behind Haru himself is the one who takes these steps to be the kind of hero he wants to be. Kind and brave.

And while I said, Haru starts the show as cowardly, that doesn’t actually mean he’s any less prone to reckless behavior later in the series. Haru’s reckless in the same way many protagonists, Digimon or otherwise are. While Haru may not have realized it, Haru’s admiration of the protagonist's values makes them his values, even if Haru initially lacks the same emotional strength to follow through on these ideals. While Haru starts out as a quiet bookworm, (and those traits don’t just disappear, although certainly overshadowed by everything else going on in his life) Haru makes a constant effort to be better. To make the right decisions. To reach out to those that are hurting and offer a helping hand. When he chooses to help save Christmas for Ai, or becomes dedicated to helping Rei with Hajime, or diving in to help Gatchmon as he drowns in the L-Virus. But these actions gradually require more and more action on Haru’s part, until we reach the end and Haru, Haru, who started the series cowering under his covers, is leaping off the top of a building on the slim chance it will help save the world. The one who has the courage to look his best friend in the eye and say I’m sorry, but I have to do this, but I will make it up to you.

Aside from the connections between humanity and AI, Appmon has another big theme of choice. Haru has to make a choice. The first choice Haru makes is to assert that he is a protagonist. The last choice is to do his duty as a protagonist and make the choice. Generally speaking, a good protagonist is one who actively pushes the direction of a story, actively makes choices that have consequences. It’s why we associate many protagonists as leaders, while being the leader and the main protagonist aren’t mutually exclusive they overlap in the way that they make decisions that affect the story and their teammates. I’m sure we all remember that moment in Digimon Adventure where it’s Taichi who has to make the choice of which card to use to take them home. The choice Taiki made to rescue Shoutmon. The moment where Takuya makes that choice to go home (another series about choice). Choices are important. While the choices Haru and the others make are certainly influenced by the AI, Denemon notes that Minerva likely gave the questions as a prompt in the right direction rather than as the deciding factor in choosing them, but ultimately they are the ones making the decisions. Leviathan gives Haru the choice between Yuujin and humanity under the mistaken belief of being able to predict Haru’s choice. (And is proven wrong yet again when it's Yuujin who pulls the plug). But Haru proves humanity, life, as fully capable of defining their own lives with their decisions. Haru growing into a protagonist involves him growing more proactive, which is the detail Yuujin comments on in episode 2.

But it’s not Haru’s growing courage and confidence that marks him as the main protagonist of Appmon. It’s his kindness, the trait that he had from the very beginning that facilitates his growth, and the Appdriver’s successes. His kindness is what Yuujin uses to label Haru as the protagonist. Haru is the one who gathered the Appdrivers together, who reached out to Rei. Who reached out to someone who was once, and possibly still, his enemy once he had been betrayed. Haru’s kindness is what won him Yuujin’s genuine admiration, to the point where Yuujin was willing to die for him. This is a kindness that he’s had since elementary school. In a story about the questions of the dangers of AI, and the growing connections between humanity and AI’s, Haru’s kindness is the answer Appmon gives. It’s this charisma that makes him the natural foil to Charismon. It’s this genuine kindness that brings others to his side and inspires actions to protect others. Not to mention that beyond Haru’s kindness, Haru wasn’t the type to be easily discouraged even prior to meeting Yuujin, learning soccer even though he wasn’t very good at it. It’s this determination that pulls him through difficult RPGs, and spending hours on puzzles.

Haru isn’t a total nice guy. He’s capable of selfishness at times. He’s capable of being annoyed with others, (often Gatchmon). Particularly earlier in the series before he realized his capability for helping others. For the first couple episodes, Haru regularly has moments where he expresses annoyance at his situation. Focused on his own embarrassment, and having to be prompted into action by Gatchmon. He’s a bit of a coward, to the point of actively trying to escape the fight, and rather pitifully insists he’s not fit for the situation. Similarly, while Gatchmon goes to find Haru to fight Leviathan, Gatchmon also starts with some somewhat cowardly behavior, being afraid to even say Leviathan’s name. The kind of behaviors that make you go “Hey, why would an AI choose him”. But Haru quickly grows into the role of the protagonist, out of a genuine desire to help others, Gatchman and Ai in particular. And when I say quickly I mean quickly (again growth as soon as episode 2). He still demonstrates some more selfish tendencies in those early episodes (wanting to read instead of taking a cooped up Gatchmon trick or treating in episode 4) but as others join Haru’s team they become less prominent. The moment he declares himself a protagonist he starts to live up to the kind of protagonist he wants to be, even if takes a little bit for him to fully grow into the role, demonstrating the power this subtle guidance had on Haru and the others.

Haru’s family, despite its plot relevance, is pushed to the background, which is kind of odd for a Digimon series, especially one set in the real world. For Haru early on we meet his mom and see his home. His mother is apparently a housewife who runs a blog. She seems to care about Haru a lot and is shown to be rather attentive, noticing odd sounds coming from his room on numerous occasions, including recognizing Denemon’s voice. She also seemed to be on good terms with Denemon, and was willing and able to tell Haru about him. That doesn’t really tell us a lot about Haru however, it does tell us that Haru grew up in a loving household and that Haru seemed to inherit his mild, but observant nature from her.

Denemon, while plot-relevant, died when Haru was very small, and so while he has everything to do with the situation Haru is in now, he doesn’t seem to have a whole lot to do with the way Haru is. And really they are opposites in a lot of ways, Denemon being a passionate and ambitious person while Haru is more reserved and at the start of the series significantly less ambitious. That said, Denemon and Haru do have a few similarities. Both are somewhat forward-thinking and curious people. Haru’s Buddy is a search Appmon. To search for answers, to find something you want to know. Denemon built Minerva to help solve problems, which serves a similar function to a search app if you think about it. Furthermore, both Haru and Denemon are very open-minded and put a lot of hope in the future of humanity to live alongside AI. Of course, by the end of the series, Haru comes to share in his grandfather’s interest in AI as well as his more hard-working nature.

We never meet Haru’s father, despite being Denemon’s son, and presumably still around in some capacity, due to being mentioned neutrally when discussing Haru’s relationship to Denemon, but there really isn’t enough there to extrapolate from. But Appmon’s finale, and Yuujin’s revelation give us the implication that Haru was not the only one being monitored by Leviathan, which may suggest there are others like Yuujn to monitor other people in Denemon’s life. After all, Yuujin seems pretty geared to monitoring Haru specifically. Even if there aren’t other androids, Haru is not the only person from Denemon’s life who Leviathan paid attention to. Haru’s father, Denemon’s son, is a likely candidate as well. But of course, we don’t see any of that, so that’s left to the realm of theories and fanfics.

If I were to wager a guess, part of the reason Haru grew so entrenched in the Appmon situation is in part due to his age. As Denemon’s grandson, Haru was probably by far the youngest of those who Leviathan deemed important enough to monitor. Which also made it difficult to monitor. If Yuujin is the only android, he probably is an android because it's difficult to recruit children to befriend a target the way an adult would. And if he’s not the only android, Yuujin still would have involved the most upkeep and attention due to the fact Yuujin had to age. Either way monitoring Haru was probably a bit more of an endeavor than any other character. On top of that his youthful open-mindedness (and free time) was definitely an asset for him bridging the gap between humans and AI, with both Yuujin and the Appmon. Though, all of that is just speculative.

Gatchmon is very aggressive when compared to Haru, which while an uncommon Goggle Boy/Partner pairing, isn’t really new either. Gatchmon assertive "ore". While Yuujin is definitely who Haru imagines as a protagonist type, Gatchmon is more in line with a typical shonen protagonist with his recklessness and aggressive nature. This is a role swap that has been done before, notably in Xros Wars where you could consider Shoutmon to be the real main protagonist. But it’s still somewhat refreshing (and done much differently than in Xros Wars anyway). Gatchmon isn't always the most sensitive or the most selfless, as he gets irritated by Offmon and is a general nuisance to Haru in some of the early episodes. Gatchmon is the one who gives Haru the strength to take action to protect and become the person Haru wanted to be. Gatchmon also shows a desire to get involved, his investigation leading him to Leviathan and eventually to Haru, the way Haru desires to be a protagonist. They share the same desire (that all of our main trio does really), to be people who make a difference. Gatchmon’s thematic connection to Haru is highlighted in the finale, where they are tied by their search for something.

“It was a destined encounter, arranged by a greater power” Those are among the first words Haru speaks in the series, referring to his encounter with Gatchmon. But Appmon is unique among Digimon series in that we see no hide or hair of a power that could be what we consider a god. We know who arranged this meeting, and it is perhaps fair to refer to Minerva and/or Leviathan as a higher power. But that’s the thing about Appmon. The grand forces that rock the earth, with their perfect schemes and subtle influence are ultimately man-made. The final form of Appmon are “God Grades”, and mostly derive their names from human gods. But they too are man-made. While I could probably say a lot about Appmon’s discussion on how humanity's greatest influencing factor, the one force closest to a real god, is something we made ourselves. But nevertheless, Haru as the grandson of the creator of these “higher powers” proves humans worth. A war of ideals battled out between Denemon’s children, children who have grown past him. In Greek mythology, the gods are repeatedly overthrown by their children. Zeus overthrew Cronus, who overthrew Uranus. The God Grades just so happen to be largely named for Greek deities.

But unlike those stories in which the gods do everything they can to prevent being overthrown by their own children, Denemon does not begrudge the AI the chance to grow and surpass him. He and Haru, and all of the Applidrivers, put their trust into building connections and putting their trust in the AI, helping them to grow stronger. While Leviathan does take advantage of this, allowing the children to grow stronger to then consume the god grades, the god grades come about because the kids weren’t afraid of the AI having more power than them. They were perfectly content with living together. Unlike many of your more conventional protagonists, Haru isn’t exactly the most aggressive kid. Haru’s not a leader in the traditional sense. Haru is far more inclined to follow the leader, which makes him exactly the kind of person who is fine with not being the most powerful or important person in the room. Appmon’s big central question is of the singularity, the fear of being overtaken by the AI we created. So it's fitting that Appmon's protagonist, is a character who solves their issues through conflict, but through reaching out. Who breaks the trope of the self-fulfilling prophecy that's repeated over and over again throughout the history of storytelling of trying to destroy those who are predicted to destroy you. Who better as a Digimon protaganist?

[gintokisimp]

Daydreaming about Silver isn’t good for your Health. Chapter 2: A silent night

Chapter 2. Tsukuyo helps Gintoki to get home after a long evening. 

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Light Angst, PWP

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4,739

Both of them avoided eye contact, nervously aiming their eyes around the room. For Tsukuyo, it felt like the world was ending. It was so embarrassing for her to just sit here, left alone with the only man she couldn't stand being alone with. Well.. they weren't alone, but it sure felt like everyone disappeared into thin air. The only sound she could hear was her own heartbeat, the faint roaring of her blood in her ears and Gintoki's breathing.

He was still too close to her and she could feel his body heat touching her skin. Technically, that was impossible. No one was able to radiate enough heat to be felt half a meter apart. Was it really coming from his body? He definitely emitted something , she just couldn't get her finger on it. It contacted her in waves and when it brushed over her, she could feel the small hairs on her arm react to it, making it stand up in excitement. 

What was that weird sensation running through her body? She didn't drink anything today, did she? No, no.. that wasn't it.

This whole situation made her so uncomfortable, her ears were burning out of pure embarrassment and at the same time her body and mind reacted to his presence with weird visions everytime she closed her eyes for a short time. Thinking about those visions only made it worse. 

She felt her stomach twisting and a sour taste crawled into her mouth. Please, not here, not now!

"Excuse me, I.."

she puked. Just a little bit, but she puked. Right in front of him.

"Tsukuyo! .. what?"

Gintoki reacted fast and reached out his arms to catch her. When he made contact with her shoulders, she immediately jerked back, sharply breathing in. That was a mistake. He was a lot closer now and the air she sucked in was mixed with his scent. 

Gintoki's scent was a mix of cotton candy, strawberries and something that made her head spin again. She never smelled anything like this before.

Panting, struggling for air, she placed her hands on her knees, averting her eyes down to her feet. 

"What did you do Gin-chan?!"

Kagura let go of the still grinning Sougo and jumped into a standing position.

"Yea danna, what did you do, should I arrest you?" Sougo straightened his shirt and stood up as well. 

"Ah Sougo, loving a woman is not a crime." Kondo laughed wholeheartedly. 

"Stalking a woman sure is!" Otae threw in, an evil smiley decorating her face. Kondo looked at her, unimpressed. 

“Yes it is.” He simply replied. Kondo had moved on, but sometimes it still seems as if she didn’t get the message. Or she simply just didn’t believe him. 

"That's correct." Hijikata mumbled."I bet it's all his fault."

"Oi I'm not the problem here!" Gintoki snarled.

"Gintoki, you're a fine man, don't let these frustrated people tell you otherwise!" encouraged Katsura from the other side of the room. 

"Shut up, no one asked you." Came from Otae at his table.

Hasegawa looked at Tsukuyo with a warm smile "Are you pregnant lady? I can understand. Hatsu and I-"

"- they didn't even kiss yet." Kagura interrupted and pouted.

"Who's pregnant?"

"Who kissed?"

"As I said, they didn't!"

"I sure hope you didn't drink anything! That's not good for the child."

"No ones pregnant, she's just not feeling well. What the hell is wrong with men?! That's not the only reason for puking!"

"I..I need to go." 

Tsukuyo excused herself to go to the bathroom. His eyes were following her, watching her stumbling into the bathroom. Now, without his heavy scent in the air, she could finally breathe again. She leaned against the and slowly slid down, touching the cold floor. With her head in her neck, she took a few deep breaths. The change of atmosphere started to clear her head. 

I'm getting sick, it's all in my mind. That's why I'm reacting so extreme to these situations. Maybe I'm already fever dreaming.

She stayed in there a little while, hoping he would just forget what had happened and that she was here. If she waited just a little longer he might be drunk enough to just sleep in on the spot. She could get out without him noticing. 

A knock on the door pulled her back to reality. Someone entered the small room.

"Tsukuyo, are you okay? We are worried about you." Otae asked carefully.

"Yea, yea ‘s fine. Gettin’ sick. I guess..I already have a fever." 

"Oh yes, I can already tell you have a fever by looking at your face." She smiled at her and added a small giggle. 

"What’re ya sayin?" Tsukuyo frowned. 

"I said what I said, no hidden meaning behind it."

Otae winked.

"Come out and sit at our table. It's quite fun to talk to Zura when he's drunk."

"Okay.. I'm coming, just gimme a minute" 

Otae left the bathroom and she was alone again.

Tsukuyo’s break time in the bath was really all she needed right now. A few minutes passed until finally, everything that submerged her reasonable thinking had vanished and she felt like she could face him normally again. Normal? Nothing was normal about that. She might be able to manage if she really really needed to. But she wasn’t sure. 

Tsukuyo stood up slowly, straightened her clothes and checked her face in the mirror. Considering her situation, she looked quite okay. Her hand reached up to her scar and she scratched it absently. 

You have a beautiful face with a clean soul. 

She remembered it like it was yesterday. 

Later that evening, he was suddenly leaning on the table right next to her.

"Take me home Tsukkiii!" He shouted over the loud noises in the bar. She could tell he drank more than he planned to, his dull eyes tried to focus on her face. He wouldn't be asking her to do that if he was just a little tipsy.

"Ya live upstairs, sure ya can find your way alone." She avoided looking at him.

"No no you should guide me to my door ~ isn't that the thing that friends do? We're friendsss so ya shoulddd help me"

"Friends?" Tsukuyo sounded strangely hurt.

"Yes yes Tsukki will help you get home." Kagura came to his aid and leaned on his shoulder. She set them up expertadly, not even hiding it. 

"Kagura, you should also go home come with us ~"

"No, I need to talk to Shinpachi about something. You two should get some alone time."

"HUH for what Kaguraaa. We're friends. Friends go eat together, drink together and play games together!” 

Gintoki held up one finger for each point but stopped suddenly and stared at his third finger. 

“Waaait, we didn’t play games together. What can we play,..I have an idea, but is there something ya wanna play, Tsukki?” He turned his face in her direction and the odor of alcohol hit her. 

Her eyes fixed on the table, she felt her cheeks flushing and cleared her throat. 

“No, I don’t wanna play ya stupid games.”

“C’mon you didn’t even hear my suggestion! What if.. what if we play a game of jankenpon? That’s a great game!”

“Sounds great.” Tsukuyo replied, trying to sound uninterested. 

“..and whoever looses needs to get rid of a piece of clothing!” He continued with a triumphant laugh which caused Tsukuyo to lower her head even further.

Kagura dug her arm in his shoulder and Gintoki winced. 

“Gin-chan, you two can play that alone upstairs, how about that?” 

“Nooo, why? No need to do that alone we’re just two friendsss who wanna play a game, we can do that hereee." Gintoki put his hand on Kagura's face to push her away from him. 

“Go away, I want Tsukki there.” He mumbled under his breath. 

Tsukuyo heard that and she jerked her head up. She locked eyes with Kagura. The girl smiled innocently at her and she quickly turned away again.

He’s totally wasted, totally drunk, he would never say anything like that if he was sober. What does that even mean? Nothing, it means nothing.  

“You’re awfully honest when you’re drunk, Gin-chan” Kagura whispered and laughed in her fist. 

“Whaddaya sayin’, what did I say? I said nothin’, I said nothing! Shut up!” Gintoki blurted back at Kagura, supporting his statements with wild gestures. With his last word, he accidentally hit Tsukuyo in her face and she screeched in shock, turning around. 

“Ah honey, I’m so sorry, sssorry, did I hurt ya?” Gintoki reached down to her and patted her face rather clumsily.

His fingers brushing her face dissolved any composure she had gained in the last few minutes. Everywhere he touched, she felt a fire burning under her skin. 

“I don’t want t’ hurt ya” He whispered only loud enough for her to hear and he left his hand resting on her scar, with a smile that might have been friendly if he wasn’t intoxicated. 

Tsukuyo’s muscles just screamed for her to get up and run away again. Run away from this sly bastard playing with everyone’s feelings. Pretty normal behaviour, he’s drunk. He’s doing that to everyone, he cares about everyone the same. 

"Do you need help, Tsukki? Should we go together?" Otae asked, a little concerned, eyeing Gintoki with a slight disgust on her face. 

"n..no I'm fine." She stuttered back. 

"Good! Let's go then?!" Gintoki mumbled, withdrawing his hand as if he wasn’t just heavily flirting a mere second ago. Typical playboy . Standing up straight he didn't even wait for an answer and fell through the open door as soon as he made his way to the exit. A loud thud was coming from outside. 

He didn’t lie when he said he needed help to get home. 

“You sure you wanna do this? I’m sure Kagura could handle that if you don’t want to go.” Otae changed her approach, now trying to pull Tsukuyo out of the situation. 

“No. I’m helping him.” She stood up a little too fast and the glasses on the table rattled. Tsukuyo rushed outside giving herself no time to reconsider her decision. She couldn’t have anyone thinking that she was a scaredy cat just because she was the only one weak to his meaningless flirting. 

The night cloudless, the full moon shed its light on the empty street. It was a pretty peaceful scenery.. if it weren’t for a drunk samurai laying face down in the middle of the dusty road. Strange sounds echoed through the night as if he was singing, but never hit a note. 

Tsukuyo sighed. It was a pathetic sight and she began to feel bad for him. Now she only needed to find a way to get him up the stairs while at the same time staying as far away from him as possible. 

If she got too close to him, she might end up just like, face on the street, making funny sounds. Sounds of pleasure. ... oh. 

Tsukuyo shook her head to shush away her thoughts and slowly made her way over to him, gracefully walking through the moonlight. 

As the clicks of her heels got closer to him, she recognized that he was actually singing her name, if you could even call that singing. 

She grabbed his collar, the singing turned into indistinctive groans and dragged him to the stairs. He didn't even complain about being dragged through the dust and instead he started talking about his wonderful friend Tsukuyo who was always there for him and is there for him now, to help him in his hardest times. 

That was not true. She was never there for him. In fact, she tried to avoid him as much as possible, not calling for his help when she needed it, scared of him thinking she would just exploit him. He saved her. He was there for her.

And she was alone with him.

Shocked, she let go of his Yukata. Gintoki's head fell straight on the stairs and he cried out in pain. You idiot. Why did she say yes to bring him home? Idiot. Idiot.

Lost in her own spiral of thoughts and memories, she almost forgot he was there until he grabbed her leg and tugged harshly on her Kimono.

"Tsukkiiii why do you hurt me. Do you hate me?" 

Thrown out of context, she forgot her self-inflicted rule and looked down in his face. His dead, watery eyes reflected the bright shining moon.

Suddenly, they changed into the exact same shade of burning crimson from earlier that evening.

"Am I dreaming or was the moon always so close to me and indescribably beautiful.." 

Tsukuyo slightly turned her head to see the moon above her, but when she looked back, he was looking directly at her and she could see her own reflection in his eyes rather than the moons. 

Gintoki’s limited ability to think only revolved around the things that happened in front of him. And right now, it was only one thing:

The moon. 

And the stellar full moon behind her. 

She looked like an angel to him, her curvaceous body which he blameworthy eyed from time to time dressed in the dark blue kimono. His fingers itched, still holding onto the soft fabric. He could just reach out and touch her, feel her warm skin. Illuminated by the faint light, Tsukuyo was outlined with the moonlight's halo. 

His thoughts trailed off. How could he preserve that sight? How could he look at that forever? The alcohol really had messed up his brain, snatching all control over his emotions. 

However.., ..she was endlessly beautiful. 

But angels need wings to fly. He would make her fly high without them.

"What?" Tsukuyo whispered back. 

Shit, did I say that out loud? Gintoki’s eyes widened. 

"Uh, f- forget it." He stammered and turned around to crawl up the stairs.

Frozen in place by his words, she could only watch him working his way up to his porch. Gintoki always says inappropriate things, but never like this. Is he playing with her? As far as she knew, he tried that with every woman he met. Plus he was drunk. He probably already forgot she was the one helping him.

"Tsukuyoooooo..!" 

Well, .. obviously he didn't forget who was accompanying him on his very long way home.

"Tsukuyooo, I can't find the key hole, come and help meee!"

You can do this. You can do this. You can do this without creating any weird situations. Just help him open the door, kick him inside and leave. 

Tsukuyo was glad she was outside. The fresh night breeze helped her to calm down. She could actually breathe freely, not constricted by the walls of the bar where she wasn’t able to flee in the worst case scenario. 

Now, packed with a little more confidence, she climbed up the rest of the stairs in front of her and joined him on the porch.

Gintoki's forehead connected with the frame of the shoji door, whereas he tried to stab it repeatedly with his rattling key. 

„Go in already! Ugh can’t find the damn hole.“ He mumbled to himself in between his aimless blows. 

If she wasn’t that pent-up, she might have laughed. He looked incredibly stupid while doing that. Just as he always does. 

However, she had no reason to laugh as the wind suddenly caught up, ruffling his hair in all directions, causing it to shine silver in the faint moonlight. 

For a split second, it took away her breath. Tsukuyo stopped a few meters away from him and leaned on the railing. The kiseru in her kimono felt heavy, usually taken out by now to cover up her utter nervousness.

But this time, she resisted. 

Gintoki‘s hand stopped to slash the key across the door and his head turned, his eyes loosely focusing hers. Deep red shining through the silver glittering waves. 

Her heart stumbled, only to launch into overdrive again when he started to speak with a calm voice. 

"Don't ya just stand there and watch me like a creep, come here and help me."

"Sure ya can find the hole if ya try a little longer. A grown ass man like you shouldn't need help finding the hole." She snorted in response. 

"Tsukuyo I didn't know you were into dirty talk." He smirked mischievously and Tsukuyo averted her eyes, flushing. 

“I‘m not.”

“Uhuh, ..Why don’tcha take matters in your own hand and find it for me then?“

Tsukuyo felt heat rising to her ears. Another of those comments and she would either kill him on the spot, or simply faint. A small indecent comment from him was enough to throw her off the tracks again. 

She smoothed out the folds on her clothes in an futile attempt to hide her sweating hands and approached the door, stopping at an arm's length. 

"Give me the key." She held out her hand, but he just looked at her face, still grinning. 

"Come and take it."

She withstood her urge to scream. 

"I don't want to play ya stupid little games, just give it t’ me I wanna go home."

"Tsukki..” His expression changed all of a sudden. “It's already late, you shouldn't go home alone, who knows what could happen to you." 

"What does that mean? That I can't watch out for myself?" Tsukuyo huffed. 

"No" He simply replied. 

"Okay."

“You’re the strongest woman I know.”

“..okay?” 

"I'm just worried, that's all." 

Gintoki turned his head away and handed her the keys. For a second, she just stared at him. He was worried about her? Since when? Her job was by far more dangerous than walking home late at night and he never mentioned he was worried about her doing this job. Shaking her head, she put in the key with one smooth move.

"Wow, you're so good at finding the entrance for my key. Are you always like this?" His head was still facing away from her, but she could see him grinning again. 

The heat from her Tsukuyos ears spread rapidly to her face. Dirty jokes are his favorite. This is the Gintoki she knew, not the one giving any sort of compliments or the one talking about his feelings.

She pulled the door open with a loud swoosh, took a swing and kicked him inside. Landing with his face first on the edge of the little step, he cried in pain. 

"Why are you so mean to me?" Tears were streaming down his face. 

"I guess beauty does really hurt." He added silently.. 

"Shut up. Good Night and have a fun morning after." Tsukuyo turned on her heels and was already on her way downstairs when she heard his voice again. 

"Oh no I've fallen and I can't get up!" Gintoki's dramatic voice echoed through the night. 

She hesitated with her foot hovering above the steps. 

"I said, I've fallen and I can't get up." The voice said a little louder.

With a long sigh, she turned around and stopped in the doorway of the Yorozuya apartment. Gintoki was still crouched on the floor, whimpering in a dramatic pose, his hands on his forehead and his eyes shut tight. 

"I can't move and no one is here to save me. Guess I'll just sleep here then. I sure hope the werewolves won't eat me tonight."

"The ghosts will." 

Tsukuyo cackled. She knew what he really was afraid of. 

"Oh shit were?!" 

He jerked up into a sitting position and his wide open eyes were searching the room, only stopping at the sight of her.  

"Oh it's just you. I thought you were already on your way home. Why did you come back? To find ghosts? No ghosts here."

His voice was shaking. 

"Ghosts are not real."

"Sure."

"So Tsukki, while you're here you can also help me. You see, I'm an old man and I don't make it to bed in time, I'll sleep in right in front of the door."

Tsukuyo put her fists on her hip and eyed him suspiciously. She really didn’t want to come in and help him even further. He was at home, her job was done. 

"’n what should I do? Bring ya futon here?"

"I'm drunk and if you won't at least guide me through the house, I'll destroy everything on the way to my room." 

As if to make a point, he banged his fists on the floor. Tsukuyo wasn’t having it. 

"Ya seem pretty sober to me, go to bed already, ya don’t need my help." It was true, Gintoki looked like he was having an evening free of alcohol, he just looked tired. 

Incredibly tired. 

She wasn’t able to grasp it, but something about him seemed off. As soon as she had denied her help, his facade had dropped ever so slightly, revealing a sadness she had never seen on him. But what made him act like that ?

“I do. I really do.” 

Gintoki's voice was silent, almost too silent for her to hear. 

His mask had only crumbled for a brief moment and Gintoki’s face was as bored as ever. 

"Fine, I'll help you"

With some newly found courage, Tsukuyo entered the apartment. She felt like she was crossing a line, the atmosphere in here felt so much different. Sad. Incomplete. 

She grabbed Gintoki's collar and lifted him up on his feet. Of course he was standing without any problems.

"Yatta! Your magic hands helped me! Look at me, I can stand!" 

Not leaving him any time for celebration, she pulled on his shirt and dragged him through the apartment to his room. Gintoki protested at first, but ultimately followed her lead.

Scanning his dark room, she saw his futon already laying on the floor. He probably just didn't bother putting it away last morning. Tsukuyo could bet all her money on an explanation similar to „Why should I stow it away when I will use it later again anyways?“

She stopped at the door, pulled him past her and threw him inside. 

Gintoki, continuing without her support, stumbled across the room. While he tried to coordinate his steps, he fingered at his sash and the belt. Not long after, the belt buckle crashed to the ground with a loud clang. 

As soon as Tsukuyo realized that he was finally getting ready to sleep, she turned around to leave the apartment. If his half covered arm was enough to make her daydream in a full bar, she didn't want to find out what other parts could do.

"Oi Tsukki wanna help.. me here as well?"

Tsukuyo peeked over her shoulder. His back was turned to her and he already managed to get rid of his Yukata and threw it heedlessly on the floor. Now, without this baggy piece of clothing, his broad shoulders were standing out and his black shirt and nicely fitting pants were hugging his masculine body. She rarely saw him without his sloppily worn Yukata.

"I'll leave now." She whispered, averting her eyes. 

"No. No.. stay.. we could, we could.." Gintoki mumbled back, but he wasn’t able to finish the sentence, as he slumped over and fell on his futon, one arm stretched out above his head and the other arm clinging to the parted zipper of his black undershirt. 

Laying on his back like this, he immediately started snoring. The soft sounds were filling the room and rang in her head. Not knowing what to do now, she just stood in the door and looked over to him. A peaceful smile was plastered on his face. He won't be smiling anymore when he wakes up tomorrow morning. 

Why did he even drink that much? But she didn't know if he really needed a reason to drink. Once you get used to it, you don’t need a reason anymore. 

In this state he couldn't even cover himself with the sheets, so without thinking, Tsukuyo crossed the room and kneeled down next to him. 

His body was radiating that strange sensation again and it just attracted her to come closer, slowly intoxicating her. She reached over to grab his sheets and accidentally brushed his arm in the process. Tsukuyo jolted back and just sat there, shocked in silence. Her hands clutched the fabric on her knees. 

The sudden friction on his arm made it fall down. However, his fingers were still holding onto his open shirt and he exposed himself in the process.Half of his upper body was in her full view and lit by the moon shining through the window. The faint light drew highlights and shadows on his well toned abdominal muscles. Once her eyes caught that, she couldn’t turn away, absolutely drawn into the sight. 

How could someone who's daily intake almost only consists of sugar be that muscular? They were perfectly formed and her fingertips felt hungry to touch them, fidgeting around on her knees. 

Gintoki's muscles twitched slightly and she caught her mouth falling open.

Shit shit shit, I should leave.

But her body wasn’t listening at all, she just continued to stare at him.

The last and only time she saw him like this was at the pool where he was playing a lousy lifeguard. She remembered that she caught herself peeking at him a few times, but she didn't want anyone to notice it, so she focused on giving Seita a nice day, mostly staying away from him. Was it the first time where he called her a drunk terminator? She couldn’t remember. But certainly, there was a nice tone to it if he had been so scared of her. 

From the start of the evening, she should have just stayed away from him. Being around him was never a good idea anyways. 

Go, go now before it’s too late!

Tsukuyo’s gaze wandered from the deep creases along the lines pointing to his lower region. Her eyes stayed there for a moment before she moved upwards to his one bare pec. It looked so smooth and hard at the same time. It moved with every one of his shallow breaths. She wondered if it was comfortable to rest on. 

No..

What was she thinking again..

Her eyes continued wandering to his face. He really was quite handsome and she didn't think he was aware of that. Red eyes looked back at her. Red Eyes?

Realization kicked in.

He watched her. He watched her.

He blinked.

She blinked.

He blinked again.

Her head felt like it would explode any second.

After his next blink she was gone. Faster than the speed of light.

Gintoki's eyes flung open, looking up to the ceiling of his bedroom. He couldn’t exactly remember how he ended up here, at least not right now. Maybe tomorrow.  

What was that electric sensation?

It woke him up, raging through his limbs. Gintoki's skin prickled and it felt so good but it was over faster than he wished. Silent breathing that was not his own caught his attention and his eyes focused on a person sitting next to him. 

It was Tsukuyo. Her body looked very strained and she just started somewhere. She appeared to him like a deer hit by the headlights of a truck with no comprehensible reason in sight. Dizzy from the alcohol and slowly following her line of sight, he noticed that he flashed half of his upper body to her. 

No, She wouldn't be looking there. But what if..

Just to make sure, he flexed his stomach, just a tiny bit and studie her face. Her mouth fell open.

Yea, she was definitely looking.

Tsukuyo’s eyes moved a little lower but Gintoki was too tired to realize where exactly she was looking at. He just kept looking at her face, wondering why she was here and why the hell she was so excited to stalk him while he was knocked out sleeping.

Gintoki already forgot most of the events of last evening. Right now every memory he had resolved around her. Her presence, her voice and her soft skin...

- bright purple eyes stared blatantly into his own eyes. Nothing happened for a heartbeat. With faint moonlight shining on her face, he could see her turning bright pink. 

Was he dreaming? A mere moment later she was gone without a trace.

He was alone.