#we have literal proof that it's not autism causing you to be a shit person because of our other roommate

[sheogorad]

man. I'm catsitting for my aunt who owns this top floor apartment with a rooftop deck with a damn good view and I'm lounging out here as I eat my dinner and I'm just like. man. when will this be me all the time. I don't even want a lot. literally if I could just have a rented apartment to myself that has enough of a balcony to let me put a chaise lounge on it and a lil grill. I just want to lie in the sun with an ice cold cocktail and a cat and have it be MY space. if anyone else lives there it's my boyfriend. but that's it. no shitty incompetent roommates. literally me and a cat and maybe a boyfriend if he proves himself to be competent enough to live with me. it would be so nice. but alas, it will take time, as all good things do. eventually I'll get there. for now I'm gonna savour this cold beer and sunshine and nice view and just hope for a better future

[sonicthecringehog]

you think me saying someone doesn't care about you is really abusive? yeah i see you posting about me in your discord.

TW: ABUSE; R*PE, SUICIDE, GASLIGHTING. Alrighty gather 'round children - I think I know exactly who you are now so I'm going to lay it down for you, maybe this is me being a sociopath with a victim complex as ableist as that sounds to my followers. Allow me to educate you, even if you think this is manipulation too~ Now, I may have grown up very privileged - considering my mother had escaped literal poverty, and my father escaping a cycle of intergenerational trauma from actual abuse. I will never deny that and I am grateful for all of the things I have and have worked hard for myself. But dude I have clinically diagnosed PTSD that I only just found out about last week after spending a few days in an actual psych ward - they genuinely thought I possibly had either bipolar disorder or schizophrenia because of how bad of a state I was in, I couldn't eat or sleep for days. I learned that when I rushed into a convenience store crying and shaking, and just apologizing constantly because I didn't even have a mask and my phone was dead, so I had no idea how to get to the hospital. I did not want to be turned away yet again out of looking like a walking stereotype (looking at you, Karens). And just before that, confession I broke into a friend’s house because I took his word literally that the door is always open, and someone convinced me I was gaslighting the both of them which is exactly what sent me spiralling to begin with. But anyway, the people at the store were really understanding even if it was just a liability thing, and they called the police for me, and the police contacted a social worker for me to get my story out and they all reassured me that I was doing the right thing - and eventually, I got the help I needed and I realized it's time to take back my life once and for all.

Not even strong antipsychotics like olanzapine, what I'm currently prescribed with, helps me in those times. I wake up with cold sweats, I have constant nightmares I don't tell people about because I don't want to fuck them up the way I got this way. And now I understand why my aunt from my dad's side of the family who was apparently schizophrenic took her own life, and never told anyone her struggles either. And why my dad was so overprotective of me for so long. You see, I live in constant fear for my life because I have dealt with actually violent, clinical psychopaths who only think for themselves and will instead lie through their teeth to make it seem like they'd changed. And they stalk you or just cling onto you, to try and find every little detail about you to use as ammo against you because they know they can, and will manipulate people into thinking you're the one abusing them and manipulating everyone around you until they have no use for you anymore. Lots of shit happened but honestly if I just accepted that "no one cares" and I just learned to "shut the fuck up and think before I speak," like my actual abusers would say... I'd be a single mother living in poverty right now, and I would probably have lost custody of that child to my one abuser at that time because he is exactly like this. I don't like talking about it because I know how triggering it is for some and this might blow up again like a lot of my "controversial" posts, but if I didn't accidentally stress and overwork myself into having a miscarriage in the bathroom at my work, I would have become the walking stereotype my other abusers would try to implant in people's minds. And I feel horrible and responsible for all the shit I'm causing now, because I know of people with diagnosed NPD or ASPD and they're trying to better themselves, and do their part in the world without hurting people. You really can't win no matter what side you're on. Hell, I developed a saviour complex over the course of a few years because I've seen some vulnerable people get taken advantage of like this, too without ever understanding why so they constantly find themselves being abused without realizing it, it's heartbreaking to me. I was r*ped at 7, not from the stereotypical creepy uncle. But a girl my own age who I'm pretty sure was abused herself, which is why I never held anything against her. Maybe it's my Stockholm Syndrome talking again. Regardless, I learned that you can't change a person. The only person you can change is yourself. However, sometimes those strangers who show basic human decency knowing one's past, are that ultimate kick in the ass to motivate people to save themselves.

So let this ask post be a lesson to all of you. These kinds of abusers I had also knew exactly how to dogwhistle me to try and get a reaction, exactly what to say and how to act in front of authority figures - to manipulate them into thinking I was the abuser or whatever ableist walking stereotype they wanted people to think. Hence, I was gaslighted into thinking I was on the autism spectrum my whole life by the people around me growing up, and that my close family and friends were the “real” abusers even though they were trying to help but didn’t know how... without these people even realizing who the real culprits were. Growing up being The Girl Who Cried Wolf even when you did nothing you were aware of, fucks you up for life, my friend. And that's exactly what they wanted. Maybe I do need a break from social media as even my family doctor says, maybe I do need to let myself be "cancelled" again to grow stronger from this. Because I'm not saying you specifically are abusive or a bad person per se, because I don’t even know who you are, I could have easily deleted and ignored this. But just let people live and stop trying to take away what little innocence they have left that they lost at a very early age... out of being too comfortable in your own magical fantasy world of self-pity to get your own shit together. Because shit like this is exactly why I overwork myself and get these "manic" episodes as my abusers called it, as live in fear that I might actually get shot one day when things seem to finally be stable and peaceful. Hell, I might never be able to get a real job because of shit like this. But if you want to report my posts again on my Instagram which I'm pretty sure was you at this point, go right ahead. Because you need to grow the fuck up... and to the other people reading this, don't ever let anyone tell you that no one cares or your feelings aren't valid, because there are people who do understand and will help you, even if to them you're just a passerby on the street. Because people do care.

This kind of cancel culture and bullying people out of getting help without giving them a chance to explain themselves, while doxxing and overanalyzing every post one says to use against them... has been so normalized in our society that we often do glorify the people who show basic human decency. When it should have been the standard all along. On to the point, I wish you all a wonderful journey to a beautiful recovery too - I might not be active for a bit because I think I need a break ^_^'

TL;DR: Don't feed the trolls, kiddies, but don't let them win out of fear that no one will believe you even with concrete proof. To make a bad Sonic reference - if you see someone abusing their power over you and doesn't want you to thrive because they think you're nothing more than some welfare queen attention whore... THATS NO GOOD~

(Also excuse all the edits, I’ve been spiralling mentally because holy shit I don’t appreciate being stalked and doxxed y’all regardless of who is doing this... so I’m keeping this post up as a reminder to all of you to just not feed the trolls and keep moving forward. Hell, someone on Snapchat kept stupidly adding me by my number for a few months on and off, so this is why I get in these situations where I’m kiiiinda scared for my life. I admitted myself to the hospital but ended up leaving after asking for resources for these kinds of situational crises. Oof. ^_^”)

Anyways, toodle-oo fuck you too bitch. ;)

~ Serena

[sosoane1]

Let me play the worlds smallest violin for you before i blow up into smithereens

I just need to vent cause i feel like im spiraling and i know its not good and i dont know what to do other then just vent. No one needs to read this but you can if you want to.

I'm not in a good place, mentally or emotionally. I feel like things just keep piling up and i have no way of dealing with it. And i know its ridiculous and stupid because it isn't much or it isn't big things but it feels like a big weight that im just barely able to take some pieces off.

For the things that i have dealt with or are being dealt with at the moment there is:

1. Work. Work sucks, i have a terrible terrible boss. He isn't present and when he is he's just a big ball of unpleasant stress on everyone. I work in a restaurant. I have worked there for over 3 years and im the head supervisor(so like the position right below the boss) and im in charge of basically all the personal in the kitchen, and like they are a great team but i dont like having to deal with all their shit. Somehow i feel like i care more about the business than my boss, maybe because im more present, maybe because ive been here longer than he has. But i have quite and im leaving in 2 weeks. So all that weight will be lifted then. But i really feel like im leaving them in deepshit, its not my fault i know, i warned my boss that we were all going back to school and he would be left alone to work the day shift, but did he listen to me? No! And now we are like 5-6 who have left and he has a shortage of employees and no full time staff! Uuuugggghhhh

2. I had a number 2 but i don't remember

Things that i have yet to get under control:

1. My mental health. There are many subsection to this so here we go!

1.1 anxiety. So a few years ago i went to one therapist and she did help me find alot of the sources of my anxiety. But also told me i dont have anxiety and that is bullshit. I know i do. She basically just told me I've been dealing with it great so far so keep going. But i feel exhausted by all this anxiety. I know rationally that there is no reasons to worry about so and so, especially things I've donne many times before but i still do. And i still get anxiety attacks over some stuff, really really dumb stuff, like putting gas in a car. You cant tell me that that is normal.

1.2 Autism? I put a ? Beside it because like i dont know. I used to think that i got diagnosed as so and so when i was 8 and there was no point into looking further to explain the way that i am. But more and more i feel like some things might have been missed. And every time i read something about autism or i hear a first hand account and im like thats me! But then i feel bad for identifying with it because like am i appropriating something that im not at all? I know there are some symptoms that are similar to adhd(something i am diagnosed as) so is it just that? I've always been the weird one, but is that because i have adhd or is it something else? Or am i just weird and its nothing at all! I dont know and i hate thinking about it, because i know i wont believe it unless i find concrete proof and that would probably mean getting a diagnosis and thats just a whole thing i dont want to think about(refer to the point above ie anxiety)

1.3 feeling self conscious. I feel like i have to thing in this point i need to get out so here we go

1.3.1 weight. Im self conscious about my weight. But if you would look at me you would think of of two things: 1(literally what my father said to me this weekend) yeah your underweight but its not to dangerous and if your comfortable in your body whats the problem?(i am uncomfortable in my body, thats the problem dad) or 2 (like what ive been told many times) some people just come up to me and ask me if im anorexique.(im not, at least i dont think so.) in french we have an expression for people like its 120 mouillé 120 wet, the thing is that for many years now that has been my goal to be 120 but normally im around 116 so not too bad but could be better , but I've been weighing myself all week and i just droped from 113 to 112😣 i hate eating and i really have no interest in going to a gym and i realise that that is what i need to do but like i cant bring myself to do it, not alone.

1.3.2 socialising. I have difficulty socializing(refer back to do i have autism or am i just weird?) i usually hang with a group a people for as long as it's convenient and when we drift we drift and if i dont find other friends then i dont find other friends. But like i still follow everyone from my friend group from secondary school and i don't understand why im not only one not hanging out with them... they are all still in touch, doing things together. And i was the one that continued to write in our group chat when school ended, and i feel like i was the one putting all the effort into keeping in touch so i just gave up at somepoint. But now they are all together but not me??? I dont get it. Im glad they are happy and all, and i know its nothing against me, ive had mean friends and they weren't that( they never ran away from me on the playground saying i was kicked out of the friend group for no reason because that literally happened yes, no i am not alright about it) and like i feel like ive also drifter furthest away from the one friend ive had since forever(since we were 5) and i dont really know why, im always the one reaching out, never the others and i feel like im annoying people because they have they're own friend groups and i dont. I litteraly dont have anyone i consider a friend. No thats not true there is one person, a tumblr mutual(you know who you are if you reading this) but like thats it. And i quite my job so that was most of my social interaction now gone! Uuuuugggghhhh

2. School. I just started a new school, that means new people, new scheduel (why the hell isn’t my school scheduel regular??? why does it change every week?? its so stupid!!!) Getting back into the beat of oh yeah i do have adhd and i can’t sit still to save my life, but i have to listen to someone talk for 4hours so i have to remeber all the tricks i used to have to be able to do that and not disturbe the class! great fun!. the course are great btw and i love learning and i am so thankfull that its mostly practicie that we have instead of just listening to the teacher but its still very hard to focus on doing one thing for four hours almost streight! also it takes me 1h 30 min to get to school and the same to get back so like my school starts at 8:30? i leave by 6:40. My school finishes at 5:30? im not home until 7 at least! and that means i can’t stay and work on stuff at school because i know that if i miss that one bus ill have to wait an hour at the terminal. the pain of public transport with multiple(4) transfers.

3. Exhaustion. I’ve been vaguely aware for the past week that i’m probably suffering from exhaustion. I’ve got all the symptomes and i curently have a cold and i just know that the exhaustion is the reason why, because i wear my mask everywhere even if i get funny looks(I have pink hair i’m used to it). I quite my job right when i realised just how exhausted i was feeling constently. And i hope that once im off it will get better. I just want to sleep all day. I took me all day to right this one post. I’m not depressed, i know what that feels like and this is not it. I’ve never been this exausted in my life and it doesn’t feel like i’m taking on much more then normal...

Other stuff:

I know i should probably go to therapy to figures some of this stuff out, but scheduling something like that feels way to overwelming and i dont want to be disapointed like last time. and i would also need to be on my mom’s ansurance for that and i’m not yet, and what i want more then going to therapy to figure these stuff out is to go see a sextherapis to figure out what i want to do about my gender. It sounds strange to say it like that, but i dont want boob and i have them and i don’t know what to do or how to go about transitioning, like im mostly not out, but i also don’t care for correcting people so thats my own fault. I want people to know me as moon off line but im not brave enought to introduce myself as something other then my birthname(I don’t hate my birthname, i’m just not always pleased with it)

I also would like to be in a relationship. I feel like its a strange thing to want because i very much identify with being ace, but i don’t completly identify with being aro(i’m somewhere on the spectrum but not 100% aro) and i’ve been craving physical touch for litteral months now! I’ve been in one relationship in my life it lasted less then 3 months we saw eachother twice (Outside of school, so the only time we could actuly be together, because yeah two girls togething in school was to strange for us to handle) during that time. that relationship wasn’t even all that good and it was well over five years ago. I’m ready to have a real relationship, and to enter it knowing i’m ace and not be left because i’m ace. I crave companion ship, and my turtle isn’t really giving me that.

This is a long post i probably have other things to say, but i’m exhausted and feel like crying now. if you did read this well congrates! remember you diserve good and you are worthy of love and apreciation from other. this is a reminder to you and to me.

[luciola-reviews-anime]

Let’s Talk About Conspiracy Theories

So with this post I want to talk about conspiracy theories, or at least, what one needs to have for it to be viable. There are a lot of them out there, and I'm sure there will be more to come in the future. We have the earth being flat, 9/11 was an inside job, the moon landing was fake, and vaccines cause autism. Just to name a few. No matter what side you're on, usually your views are very strong, but no matter what you bring to the table. It's in my opinion that if the conspiracy cannot meet these three targets, it simply can't even be taken seriously.

The first is very simple. Who benefits? Remember, what we're looking at is a fact that has either been falsified, or a truth that has been hidden from the world for a specific purpose. Let's look at flat earth theory. Whenever I check out something about this one. They claim that NASA is the group to benefit from a round earth. They're given billions of dollars in funds to run experiments and studies, and even to send people into space. From what I've studied, most people that believe in the flat earth say that space itself is a lie, gravity is a lie, and the mathematics to support them is fake. Any images of space is just CGI.

Here's the problem. NASA did not come up with the idea of gravity, nor did they originate the claim that the earth was round. The discovery of gravity was made in 1687, and since that point the scientific community has used the math and theories of gravity in a number of different ways. For over three hundred years, gravity has been subjected to the scientific method. Many a flat earther will remind people common believes have been disproved before, but they forget that they were disproved thanks to the scientific method and community.

Then we have the discovery of the earth being round. Again, this was not a NASA development, but proven when Magellan circumvented the globe. He did this in 1519 with a fleet of five ships to discover a western sea route to the spice islands. Though he did not survive, the trip was a success. We're close to five hundred years of knowing for a fact that the earth is round. The only counter acting of this argument is that what we know of history, is a complete falsification, for five hundred years, for no plausible benefit to anyone.

But this brings us to the second target of a conspiracy theory. How many people are in on it? Remember it just takes one person in the know to mess things up. You can argue that it's easy to silence one person, but why don't you tell that to the NSA and Edward Snowden? Or even the number of leaks that are in the current Trump administration? The fact is that the more people you need to have to be in on the theory, the less plausible it becomes. I picked on the flat earthers before, and I can just mention that it would take… Literally millions of people to be in on the conspiracy though history, science, sailing, flight, construction, and astronomy to name a few to have to be in on this.

So let's take the anti vaccinations. They say that Big Pharma benefits from hiding the truth that vaccines are dangerous. Because obviously when a product doesn't work properly, instead of fixing it, it's easier to just lie to the population of the world. Look, in the end it's still a business. If there's a hint that something is wrong with a product there will be studies and tests to determine if that's the case or not. These are independent studies done by people who want to make money off the failure of said product. Have you ever seen an advert about filing a mass law suit because a certain drug or procedure was found to be unsafe? In other words, you need the medical community of the entire world in agreement to hide this one little detail. Because if it got out? Let's face it, we still need vaccines to live. I don't want polio. I don't my kids to get polio.

And this takes us to the third target. Can you prove it one way or another? Let's face it. The reason that something is placed in the category of a conspiracy, is because we're being fed a false truth to cover up the real one. The problem is that you shouldn't be able to prove a false truth. You shouldn't be able to circumvent the globe if the earth is flat, and there should be no way to see or prove the curvature of the earth. Doing either of these things instantly busts the argument. (sorry flat earthers) Studies by independent parties shouldn't be able to say things like "There is no evidence that vaccines cause autism."

Now you might say. But Lucio, those are the false facts being fed to you! The problem you're running into in these goes in three fold, first we have the second point, how many people are in on it? And we can add in, how credible are the people we're trying to discredit? Remember in the anti vaccine argument, we're not trying to discredit one group of people making one specific product that cannot be recreated. We're trying to discredit the entire medical community, and people who make and study diseases and medicine. If there was a problem with vaccines, there would be another group that would be working night and day to make a safe working version of them instead of just giving out a faulty product.  Finally we would have to ask. Where does the truth end, and the lies begin?

Let's look at it this way. Say I offer the theory that the anti smoking campaign is actually a false organization. They've spread out fake medical reports about cigarettes to get people to quit. They actually make nicotine patches, they're behind vapping, and they also collect funds from organizations like Truth. I can support this much like a flat earther. I mean, I've seen people in their eighties that claim to smoke every day and they're fine. I can support this like an anti vaccine supporter and say that the medical facts and studies that we have been given are just lies, or even state that these are the same people who are telling me that vaccines are safe. So when should I believe them, and when shouldn't I?

This is why you must look into how credible the other source is, and how able the world is to be able to prove something. With a flat earth, we have so much mathematical and scientific evidence that you must say is simply a lie in order for you to have any ground to stand on. There have been countless studies on vaccines and if they cause autism, but far too often there simply isn't any proof. Most commonly what I hear from these theorists is that they just have a feeling. They have a feeling that they're right, despite the evidence. Another excuse is something along the lines of "You shouldn't just take everything people tell you as a fact." Yes it is good to ask questions, this is how we learn. But there's asking questions, and there's ignoring the facts. Most people within the conspiracy theory are not actually open to the truth, kinda ironic, right?

I can give a quick glance at the other two theories I mentioned, so they don't feel left out. The moon landing was staged. We have a clear benefiter. The USA and Russia were in the cold war, and anything one could do better than the other would be a clear win. The space race was, in a way, a proxy war. The people that needed to keep the conspiracy secret would not be too unreasonable either. It would have to be all of NASA at the time, a select number of US governmental and militaristic figures, and the people who staged the show. The great thing about this as well is that the people in the know, can grow smaller and smaller in numbers as the years pass. And finally. I mean, how can you prove it one way or another? Go to the moon? And why haven't we been there since then?

Sounds like something we can, oh wait a minute… So question? What about Russia? I mean. There's no way they would just give us the win if they knew it was false. And you have to believe they wanted that win. So we'll have to add in an enemy nation into the people that need to keep it secret, at no benefit to themselves. This can also actually answer why we haven't been back to the moon. Do you know what's on the moon? Nothing. I've read some articles on how the next great business idea is to send a rocket out to mine a comet for minerals. This could be a trillion dollar idea. And there's the moon. Right there. Where we can see it, we've been on it. And that's how we know there's nothing good on it. We beat the Russians there, mission accomplished. Going back is just a dangerous waste of time and resources until we can colonize the bastard. Or attach lasers…

Well at least 9/11 was an inside job right? I mean again we have a clear benefactor in the US. Stage a terrorist attack, get the perfect excuse to go to war, get that delicious delicious oil. You don't really need a lot of people to be in on it either. Just the military personnel who planned it. Hell, let's even go with this. The US knew it was going to happen, and they let it happen. They didn't think it would be such a disaster, but when planes crash into buildings, things happen. And it's not like we can prove one way or another that the US didn't know about it and just let it happen. I mean, look at Pearl Harbor. Shit, I might have to look into this one more sometime!

In the end though, the thing that makes it a conspiracy theory, is that you can't prove it. It might be brought into light later. But you shouldn’t chose to distrust or hate the government or an organization because of a plausibility. There's already too many reasons for that as it is.

I hope this helps you in your future! Remember those three proofs when you hear about any crazy theories out there, and have fun. Please try not to take any of them too seriously though, because in the end a belief is a tricky thing to change, and often enough that's what they turn into. I'd rather take the advise from the Thirteenth apostle, Rufus, and instead just have a good idea.  

[pastcloudfromffvii]

im giving it a shot, though. i feel like a total asshole for not realising the freezer didnt shut last night, and i just spent a couple of hours singing with ladies from chorus i haven’t seen since like. october basically, and now im back in bed even though its only 5pm. whining under the cut because ehhhh ive already typed it up so i might as well post it. if you could flick it a like if you do bother reading under the cut i’d appreciate it just so i know.

im gonna. try write up a resume i think. i’ve never had a working one because i have literally 0 experience lmao. but data entry is what i’m good at, i’m a fast typer and i’m pretty good when it comes to accuracy when proofing stuff and whatever. now i just have to convince winz that i do, in fact, know myself better than they do and that data entry is not only what my skills are geared toward, but also possibly the only thing i’m currently capable of. im not capable of full time work rn either which is another wrench in the works, but honestly i could probably pull off an 8 hour day of data entry right off the bat. i know mindless deskwork is soul killing for a lot of people but autism makes it perfectly fine for me honestly.

my favourite thing to do at school was just sit there and write down everything on the board, and also copy everything out of text books. i didnt retain a damn fucking thing but hell if i didnt enjoy physically doing it, other than cramp in my writing hand. i know not all data entry is like this.

i dont remember when my next appointment with my psychiatrist is but i have a feeling zex is going to deal with that for me if i haven’t recovered. i often forget that chronic fatigue is a thing that i experience personally, even though i talk about it a lot. there’s having daily limited energy, and then there’s my current situation. 

i know not all systems fit The Typical Layout that you get on trauma support sites and the dsm n shit but like? they always list at least one alter being combative, insofar as that they will argue against psychs n shit that the system doesnt need help and it took me forever to figure out that if we are Assigning Official Roles, that one’s zex. and im lucky in that they generally agree with my psych at least on the basics. he talks over me very easily but zex doesn’t give enough of a shit to let doctors talk over them so. that’s nice. zex is actually the driving force in us trying to get better, because the rest of us either 1 are afraid of help 2 could literally give less of a shit 3 want help and to be independent to some degree at least but dont know how to go about it (that one’s me)

and then theres... the social worker situation, which i dont even have the energy to resolve. battling for more than half a year now to get her to call a therapist for me because we’ve been over time and time again why i cant call myself is exhausting. she’s still totally convinced that idk im just trying to get out of calling or something. she hasnt even bothered with the “why does it matter if the therapist can hear your thoughts over the phone if youre going to be discussing deep stuff with them anyway” which would be a poor argument in itself lmao. i just, im so tired. im tired of the medical system and i’m tired of the severe lack of staffing which causes me to go months and months without a psych appointment and. just. i’m tired.

i just want to be Better and Functional already. the medication helps and boy do i feel it when i miss it (to be fair it doesn’t get worse than i used to be when i miss it for like a week, it just gets as bad as it was before i was medicated and its a pretty good reminder hah) but. idk. idk where i’m going with this. im just a useless asshole with no inherent worth right now as far as my opinion is concerned and i want to fix that but lying in bed on a sunday evening instead of doing any of the myriad things i could be doing to make the flat a little nicer a place to be for my flatmates isn’t helping anyone. but i can’t do anything about that right this second. 

and i can’t just sleep off this mood either because sleep is ‘wasting time’ and i cant fucking sleep when i decide to anyway. i wish my social worker would stop telling me that going for walks will fix my insomnia because it really fucking wont. i get out and go walkies as often as i can, and it is really good for you but Physical Exercise is not the be all and end all of all psychological problems. physical exhaustion doesnt put me to sleep, mental exhaustion does. but i dont know what healthy mental exhaustion looks like.

[todorokicourse-archive]

Just in case dandymeowth deletes the old posts they had on their blog (Part One)

9/10/16: bizarropurugly

list of things anti-sj have told/believed about me, this list is not exhaustive

tw for animal death/cruelty, nsfw, ableism, pregnancy, rape mention, drugs, pedophilia, etc

I personally created the Butthurt Brigade and did it to stalk and harass autistic kids on deviantART.

Also, I was kicked out of the BHB because I was “psychotic” about stalking and harassing autistics and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I was obsessed with rape and murder and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I kept harassing people sexually and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I wouldn’t stop posting NSFW in the group’s private chatroom and etc etc etc

I deny I was ever a part of the BHB.

I ran multiple accounts posing as the BHB/members of the BHB across multiple websites just to prove that all anti-sj content is a conspiracy to kill me. (???)

I got pregnant on purpose to just to have an abortion, multiple times.

I kill cats. I harassed staff and admins on various websites for pity while killing cats. Refusing to take cats to the vet, to fix them, or to let them be inside cats. I started a fundraiser for a cat who I won’t neuter and whose kittens I put in trees to scam people.

I consider myself a “shitposter extraordinaire”.

I’m anti-kink, anti-nsfw, and anti-porn.

I call people anti-choice if they keep a pregnancy. I want all pregnancies everywhere forever aborted and I think anyone who disagrees with that is a misogynist.

I use my depression as a defence when people criticize me, or as an excuse to not improve. I threaten suicide over this.

I write fanfics for rape and have been banned from multiple websites for it. I also draw rape art of people I don’t like.

I’m always smoking weed, constantly, nonstop. But also, I claim to hate marijuana.

I’m always masturbating, constantly, nonstop. I consider myself crazy, quirky, and random for having sex toys or naming my sex toys, and regularly post pictures of them. I spam my followers asking what I should do with my sex toys next.

I haven’t had a job for several years.

I believe / I said austistics are being raped and beaten in the streets in broad daylight.

I love spamming people with and generally being into hardcore guro.

I’ve been in / I am currently in groups that have the intention to give people seizures on purpose. I hate epileptics and think they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere but particularly the Internet.

I chased down and harassed, threatened, spammed multiple people for genderbend art. And for liking Uncle Grandpa, in fact I specifically followed the show’s tag to find victims.

I claim to be triggered by Uncle Grandpa existing and that Uncle Grandpa is child abuse.

I run WNSE posing as a medical expert / a medical professional.

I am intersex, or that I stated having a mole made me intersex.

I created Ham Ham Kingdom and left it in shitty code disarray. I did this with several websites and refused to let anyone else be administrators.

I lost my virginity for shits and giggles and did it with a coworker sexually harassing me. Also, I did it to prove sex was bad and so I could post all over my Tumblr how wrong and oppressive sex is.

I have a phobia of Middle Eastern men and it keeps me from sleeping well.

I lie about hating alcohol and get drunk regularly.

I groom children for pedophilia by posting instructions on how to masturbate.

I made a chatroom on dA for posting nsfw, guro, rape, etc and it was banned.

Scrapping a character and story about a single father because it wasn’t about rape or gayness.

I think age of consent laws are stupid and meaningless. I am sexually attracted to minors.

9/10/16:bizarropurugly

And now for the truth of these lies (if there is any)

same warnings as before

I didn’t create the BHB or come anywhere close to doing that. By the time I joined the BHB it had already been restarted several times, with each time having less of the original crew (and consequently having more mortal enemies from that original crew). I was briefly an admin after it had been restarted again after the dA deactivation fiasco, and then was removed as an admin as part of a fake fight, but I never asked to be reinstated, so I wasn’t. Yes, all I had to do was ask, there was no amazing revolution or conspiracy involved at all. What happened was that, in one of the few times I was ever in the BHB chatroom (which was rarely ever populated if I could remember right), we got to talking about reverse racism and how awful it was (yes, really), and that dA admins were being shit about it (which was a frequent focus). So the idea came up to make “secret” white pride groups to bait dAdmins to deleting it so that we could prove the reverse racism. Revolting as it was, they weren’t deleted, but Fuhrer Glasses and I came up with separate groups, had a “fight” about it, and when I wouldn’t say that his was funnier, he removed me as an admin until I would or until I asked. (This is different from what I had said before, I know; I had said that he edited a picture of me and I didn’t find it funny so he removed me in the same manner, but I actually remembered that that particular event happened afterwards and what he was threatening me with was actually a temporary ban from the chat, but that he didn’t go through with, and which he threatened because I wouldn’t tell him why I was asking him not to post it. At the time I didn’t want to admit I had really bad body image and dysphoria because, well, does the BHB sound like a safe place to admit to those things? Especially since I had seen members and admins alike misgender trans people they deemed “lulcows”, which is a tradition these types of groups continue now.) After that, I gradually stopped being active as I grew apathetic with dA and became less active in general on it, finding Tumblr to somehow be more preferable (maybe ‘cause all my friends had left dA too? lol). Yes, it was a troll group, and yes, it did involve harassing others like any and all other troll and anti-sj groups that have since spawned in its place. And that’s literally all it was - the same shit you’ll find on places like Tumblr, Kiwi Farms, Encyclopaedia Dramatica, and etc. It was never a specific group against any particular persons or identities, although like these places definitely featured ableists, eugenicists, Nazis, and somesuch. It’s not a proud time in my Internet history by no means, but no, I wasn’t leading a secret war against autistics, I didn’t send or threaten anybody with sexual content (the only people I talked to on messengers were Fuhrer Glasses on MSN and former-admins-now-enemies years later on Skype), I wasn’t kicked out because everyone got scared of me (honestly that’s a really laughable thing to claim if you remember who the admins were), and honestly the only place I’ve ever publically gotten into details about my kinks has been Tumblr (later FurAffinity and Weasyl), and only in recent years have I ever really openly discussed kinky stuff with people in private conversation or through messages. The only place I could think this claim would come from was when I was in the chat of the enemy group (ie, the anti-BHB) and kept talking about milk machines, which got me temporarily banned because I wouldn’t shut up and was making the chat too nsfw for everyone’s likings (generally jokes were the only OK things). I admit to making people uncomfortable here because I was an excitable shit who kept infodumping at random and I want to send out an especial apology to toonlink about that shit in particular. But no, this wasn’t the BHB and this was after I had already been removed as an admin from the BHB. The BHB wasn’t allowed to be talked about there, really. And I’ve never denied that I was a part of the BHB, ever. Denied that the BHB was all the scary made-up bullshit people who weren’t even admins claim? Yeah, and I’m really surprised at the amount of people who remember BHB and being in it, and even praise its existence and/or mourn it, but yet simultaneously think the admins ever cared about who got harassed or that the BHB was some eugenics agent group.

The “multiple accounts posing as BHB” thing came from a single person’s post that was 100% a bunch of lies and bullshit they never answered for. Other BHB members/ex-members along with myself have even denounced it. This came from the same person claiming I created the BHB, created it to stalk autistics, and was kicked out (despite being the founder? lol) because the BHB grew a conscience somehow and started caring about autism. That’s all bullshit, so is the claim that I’ve made accounts on Reddit, LJ, and side accounts on Tumblr to pretend to be the BHB to give it a bad name or to create evidence that anti-sj people are trying to kill me or some weird ass bullshit that made 0 sense. This person claimed to have been a BHB admin (they weren’t, at least not while I was ever part of it, and nobody else has heard of them) and also to have been a Skype buddy of mine during a time I didn’t use Skype but instead MSN, and as I’ve said the only BHB people I’ve talked to on Skype were original-now-ex-members, which all have attested to this being bullshit. And what’s funny is that this out-of-nowhere post appeared during a dispute with user noyka about whether ableism is real and whether the disabled are oppressed, and has subsequently been used by said user as proof that I’m The Real Ableist. This was also the same user claiming I said autistics were being beaten and raped in the streets, which has never been anything I’ve said, not literally and not in spirit. This claim came from our argument after I linked various articles of autistic children being killed by their parents and receiving sympathy for it as part of evidence of ableism being real. In other words, not just a strawman of what I said but a complete lie. That and the frequent use of autistic as an insult and casually suggesting euthanasia as a treatment for “autists” being constantly brayed by the people who’ve created and perpetuated these lies should really be all the proof anyone needs as to their veracity.

The claim I kill cats comes from intentional misreading and outright lies about pasts posts I have made regarding the death of my animals. The posts gathered have spanned at least 3 or 4 years and are often presented out of order or under the impression that they’ve all happened within the same span of months. Another thing to understand: these posts were made while I was living with my parents still and didn’t have a job. The posts presented do talk about cats dying, but “in horrible, avoidable ways” can be a stretch, considering some of them are just that the cats disappeared, and others died as a result of illnesses and issues that either came suddenly or that we’d been trying to fight for a long time. For example, a post taken as proof of me killing my cats and “feeling nothing about it” was a post I had written after we had put Crookie down about how upset I was that she had died and that this had happened. This was taken as me trying to garner pity for an animal I purposely and cruelly murdered and put all the focus on how hard it was to be me. We had Crookie for several years, and while she was young she was hit by a car and suffered spinal damage, and this ended up being why she had to be euthanized; I don’t quite remember what it was that was specifically wrong, but the vet told us that frequently it is missed and while the cat seems to improve, it will eventually begin to decline up to and including total pelvic shutdown, which Crookie was getting near to. It was horrible to witness her climbing trees but then in a few months unable to support her hind end, because we had been fooled into thinking she was going to be okay. It’s such a specific condition that it is rarely seen or checked for; there was no plausible way for us to have seen it coming. That’s why she died. It wasn’t instant, she wasn’t a baby, it wasn’t a decision made on the fly, and you bet your ass I fucking cared about it and bawled for days on end about it. Crookie was incredibly special and a fucking gift to this earth, I didn’t want her to die and I damned well wasn’t fucking ready for it. Could she have not been hit by a car? Yeah. Yeah she should have been inside. But it wasn’t in my fucking power; it wasn’t my house. I had no control over that shit. That’s your answer to every “why weren’t they inside” and “why didn’t you bring them in” - because I wasn’t allowed to! And no, I also didn’t have the personal finances at the time to take anyone to a vet, not even to be fixed. My parents are fucking awful about this and ever since I have moved out I have been the one taking these animals to the vet even though I don’t live with them anymore, and I’m frequently berated by them about how much money I “waste” while doing this. And that’s how a lot of the “evidence” for this claim is. They take posts out of context of their time and my place, line them up together, and say I personally and intentionally killed a million cats in a month. They said I killed a kitten, because it crawled under my brother’s jeep hood and got its neck broken. Because he kept driving into the yard after we had repeatedly told him not to, and never checked his vehicle before starting it, because he quite fucking frankly doesn’t and never cared. They said I murdered it, and that I was abusive and evil because I made a post about it - about the horror of fucking witnessing a literal fucking baby struggling and dying in fear and panic right before your fucking eyes and not knowing what to do and how awfully it fucks with your head, with your life, to be in that position. They said I killed a kitten I raced to the emergency room because my parents called at midnight saying he couldn’t breathe, that I dropped 600 dollars down without question for the surgery that could save him, that he fucking died in anyway, that they called me at 3 in the morning and told me he didn’t fucking survive. My parents said I wasted my money, that I should have told them not to even try. And they said I purposely put kittens in a tree - intentionally stripping the context of how that’s where they were born, and that we stopped trying to take them down because the mother kept taking them back up there and we were afraid she’d fucking drop them. They also claimed that this cat from posts 3 years prior, that I had while living with my parents and that had been adopted to another family, was the cat I was raising funds for and thus I was scamming people. The cat I raised funds for was a black “male”, she was an orange mother cat, and again there’s 3 years and two locations between those posts - there’s no way to confuse the two, but there is if you’re desperate to smear someone as psychotic animal murderer because you know they’re sensitive to cat death! Basically, they twist my posts of me mourning my beloved pets as being “woe is me give me money” posts, and spread the rumour that I just let these things happen.

When I posted the “shitty artist” list, like every time this kind of post is made, it was reduced and watered down to make out like the OP is a radical hater who wants everything censored, and so I was called anti-kink, anti-porn, and anti-nsfw because of my pointing out the problems with these artists that of which some were porn artists. Which when it came to those it was generally the issue of pedophilia, zoophilia/bestiality, rape, fetishization especially of trans people, the usage of transphobic/intersexist slurs (like f*ta), and other really nasty shit. As a result a lot of my nsfw work is used as an “aha!” for why I’m stupid, a hypocrite, and a disgusting creep. It’s really hilarious to try to drag me for being openly sexual, while also calling me these things. So am I a slut or a prude? Whichever works to whip up the crowd, I guess. And of course, dragging me for the same things they praise and defend in others. But no, I’m not anti any of those things. I have had “kink positive” as a descriptor for a long, long while. I think the peak of funny when it comes to these claims is when anonymous people tried to warn one of my friends and fave kink artists about me, about how I was a kink-shamer and swerf/radfem and they should be careful. But yeah basically these kinds of claims are from people who think “you can draw porn just don’t use slurs” and “this person is a pedophile/rapist/animal rapist” are kink-shaming.

The anti-choice thing is from a particular shitty little brat who is fucking furiously obsessed with me because I told them they’re not my friend and I don’t like them or want anything to do with because they are anti-choice. I kept explaining how and why they are anti-choice, but they prefer to lie and say I called them anti-choice because I don’t think people should have babies. They’ve taken this lie and ran with it, including posting about it on the submissions/pages of other anti-choicers and linking me so that they’ll attack me. If I even still used the word, I’d say they’re the definition of butthurt. They may also be the reason for the idea that I get pregnant just to have abortions, or at least spread it themself.

The “rape fanfics” crap started over To Violate. To Violate was a story I was writing about Candler’s background (spoiler alert? haha) and, yes, it involved rape. Because the story was about how he became a the person he is, which included that he was sexually abused and later sexually abusive himself. Actually the main idea behind it was that he and Zed have both been sexually abused, but each reacted radically differently to it, and I guess the ultimate goal was to write this and Zed’s history down and basically show how we can react in our own unique ways to the trauma we experience. I’ve removed it myself (it has never been deleted from anywhere else otherwise) from the places I had it posted due to the fact it was way, way too ambitious of a project for me (for now) and was just downright written badly. Like, really badly. And I’ve since significantly changed Candler’s backstory… But it wasn’t a “fanfic” for rape - detailing sexual abuse and pedophilia and how it screws you up isn’t exactly what I would call a “fanfic”.

I haven’t smoked weed in a long, long time, and at no point did I ever say I hated it. What I DID say was that it was exhausting - because I’m very intolerant of smoke, so a hacking fit to the point of seeing stars or going temporarily blind was always guaranteed. As for not getting a job, that was when I lived with my parents, and never have I asked for money while living with them; my asking for financial help is relatively new (within the last 2 years at most?). I don’t like alcohol. I can drink here and there, but only wine coolers or Mike’s Hard and other lightweight stuff. Something in particular about alcohol is incredibly vile and wretched to my taste buds. The posts brought up of me drinking/being drunk are several years old, and most of them aren’t even of me being drunk. I think I’ve only legitimately been drunk maybe twice in my life. The posts in context with them also frequently talked about how I was harassed into drinking most times, because people don’t like to hear “no” about this, but of course that was omitted when bringing this terrible sin up. Like marijuana, I haven’t had alcohol in a very long time.

So my sexuality frequently becomes a subject, as mentioned. For whatever reason, a bunch of redditors chose to read the post I made about my first sexual encounter as me being a nasty radfem tricking a poor boy into sex just to destroy him and spread that sex was bad. I really don’t have to explain why this is bullshit because if you know me you know I’m not anti-sex at all. (WNSE? lol?) This same post is often brought up to mock me for no reason because I guess the very thought of a “sjw” having sex and posting personal posts on a personal blog is laughable? I didn’t have sex “just to lose my virginity”. I have never expressed anything like that in my life. If anything, most of my life I bought into the bullshit of coveted virginity. My early sexuality is a real complicated topic, but at no point did this ever become a thing. And when I did have that first encounter, I don’t think I even had a job? So no, I wasn’t going to sleep with my sexually-harassing-coworker. I actually met him online at FetLife (wouldn’t recommend that!), I don’t remember exactly how it started but we wound up exchanging numbers and chatting and talking on the phone frequently. This shit might have been pulled out of the asses of the anti-feminists who attacked me for making a post for the former “why I need feminism” trend; the post I had made was about how I was being harassed and creeped on by a coworker, and I complained about it to my mother because this was the guy I had bummed rides off of. She was all with me about how creepy and stalkerish he was being, up until she realized I was talking about someone my age rather than someone her age, and then she did a complete 180 and started yelling at me for “being so antisocial” for thinking this was shitty behaviour. The reason I said I needed feminism was because my mother and family thought this behaviour is acceptable as long as it’s from someone my age, and anti-feminists leaped on the post saying I was calling all men rapists, lying about my sexual harassment, lying about my sexual abuse and the way my parents treated it (like a joke), saying sex is bad, and etc. The rest of the shit about my sexuality is generally just for some reason finding it vile and creepy for me to even post about it on my personal blog, regardless of whether the claims are true - such as, no, I’ve never spammed anyone about my toys nor posted a million pictures of them? but even if I did so?? what?? Which again is hilarious when these are the same people decrying me for supposedly being anti-porn and anti-kink. And for the record, no, I’m not into hardcore guro. If we’re talking about gore at all I’m a real lightweight and I don’t really find it sexually exciting. I don’t find murder sexually exciting in itself either.  

“Seizure Terrorists” is the only group I’ve ever known that would come anywhere close to fitting the description of a group made to give people seizures. And that’s not at all what they do - the group is just a place for flashing images and icons. During my time on dA around the same era as the BHB, rapid flashing images were incredibly popular. Some kind of meta level offensive shit. I’ve never been a member of Seizure Terrorists and the cap that was presented as proof (well, the one I saw) is cropped and snipped so badly I don’t know why people believe it. It also only made its appearance after I asked if ST was what they were referring to (because, again, I have no idea about anything else that comes close). The only affiliation I’ve had with them is that they’ve requested some of my stamps in their group. Idk if this is still true, but on dA when you’ve got images in a group, you’ll show up on their front page regardless if you’re a member, and it will say something like contributor or something?? Anyway, that’s how they got that cap, mate. Not a single person has responded to me about that.

Oh boy, the SU/UG thing. So it began a while ago before this thing in which some little truscum shit jumped on my post about how I was tired of seeing objectifying shitty genderbend art in the tag for the character Mephisto Pheles. Mind you, my personal is always set not to show up in search and I didn’t tag this post with anything relevant. In other words, this person showed up out of nowhere and started screaming at me for criticizing genderbending. They stopped replying after I asked for proof of me harassing anyone. This same person then went on to claim I had attacked and threatened their friend(s) (they kept changing the number) and several other artists over genderbend art. They were just thatmad about it. And when it came to my post about how I didn’t like the Steven Universe/Uncle Grandpa crossover, they couldn’t wait to spam tags and inboxes about how I had done this and was also now doing it to Uncle Grandpa fans and the fandom tag. Again, they stopped replying to me when I demanded they post the proof. At no point had I ever ventured into a tag. I avoid tags as much as possible. All the things I had posted were replies to reblogs of my post, or replies to messages I was being sent. I also never said anything about being triggered, or that Uncle Grandpa is child abuse. What I did say was that cartoons are important especially for children’s developing selves, as a response to people saying that cartoons don’t matter so we should just ignore the problems they present or feed into. This person and another screencapped a few of my posts which people love to run wild with as proof of this harassment, but, again, the caps are of me replying to my messages and reblogs of my posts. And also, for context: that person who posted the screencaps I’m pretty sure was one of the blogs that popped up solely to attack SU fans over this episode. In other words, was dedicated to that harassment they claimed I was committing. Both these users misgendered me multiple times, intentionally. You don’t have to just take my word for it since archive.is has it all. You know, a lot of these anti-sj types nearly piss their pants about people who lack reading comprehension, or take things out of context to vilify, including by digging up old and irrelevant “evidence”, and yet that’s what I’m constantly seeing them doing. In fact…

I have never claimed to be intersex and the “evidence” that has been used about that is the description of a stamp I made against genital cutting, talking about the fact that my mother 1. told me I should have my genitals altered because they’re “not right” and 2. told me she believes intersex children should have their genitals altered, going along with that same logic. You can even read that yourself in the links people provide about that. Again, it seems the people who explode the worst about reading comprehension and context are the people who commit this folly the most.

HHK brings back fond memories of me being a teenager. I’m 26 now. HHK was my place about 10 years ago. And no, none of us acted really well; we were all in some way definitely some pretty crappy kids. This was years before I even went with BHB, people are surprised about it? I’ve been an admin on it off and on, sure, but Heru was the creator and destroyer of HHK. Not really sure how that managed to get fucked around since it’s always been Heru. We tried a revival that wound up being deleted for unknown reasons, which was made by Wolfeinheim, not me, although I was an admin off and on with this version too. I tried to remake the third incarnation but by then we’d all gone our separate ways. As for multiple websites and forums dying, yeah, like most teens I tried to make a free forum over anything. Is that really a crime? Silver Fang Fanhouse was the only one that got anywhere, and I’d left it to the rest of the staff before I got on Tumblr. They have access to my account to make any changes they couldn’t otherwise and have had this access for a while, and of course at any time before were able to come tell me to do something. While I have left I didn’t just drop off the edge of the earth without a word or any way to contact me. This is a really reaching and weak receipt.

I am not phobic of any race and never have I lost sleep about that kind of thing? I did once make a racist post about “Arabs”, probably soon after watching Taken or some other shitty movie about kidnapping women into sex slavery. That was bad, absolutely, and I have apologized for that (which if you don’t accept that’s fine, that’s not a problem), but getting “phobia and can’t sleep” out of a single post about sex trafficking is a fucking stretch. For the record, I have always had insomnia issues up to and including night terrors, paranoia, and fear of sleeping in the dark / sleeping alone. That has shit all to do with a racist post I made and reducing my lifelong sleep problems to that is pretty fucking shitty.

I’ve made a couple posts about and answered minors about masturbation. Teaching how to masturbate or getting into details about what masturbation entails, and about sexual development in general, may be a controversial subject. In fact I would say it’s so controversial I was told my sex education project for highschoolers that featured simple pink circles showing how hymens can form and details about the myths surrounding hymens was given a lower grade for being “inappropriate”. But I’m pretty sure talking to teens about their bodies, especially how they can do things themselves and don’t need someone else to, and that there’s nothing immoral or wrong with that, isn’t grooming. But maybe that’s just me. I guess if you disagree with that you’re free to unfollow but I’m not going to feel bad about not posting purity myth level “education”.

I made a chatroom on dA but it pretty much died within 2 months. I realized I didn’t care that much. It was never banned or deleted as a punishment; if deviantART chatrooms do not have participants for a certain amount of time they’re automatically removed to save on webspace. I really don’t know where this rumour came from since I think maybe 4 people including myself ever attended that chatroom?

The single father story still exists. I just haven’t written it yet. If you read the post referenced, that’s exactly what I said - I didn’t write it, kind of lost the details, but I will some day when I remember them better. If you don’t believe me, his name is Frederik Botip and he is Zed’s best friend, he owns the organic grocery store that Zed shops at.

The age of consent claims relate to an incident with a user that stated that I and two other users had banded together as friends and sexually abused them/their friends and that one of us was using their sj blog(s) as a way to meet and subsequently abuse minors. There’s a lot of reasons why that was a bunch of crap but the post I’ve made about it is long gone thanks to my account being deleted. I’ll need to make a new post on it… But as a part of that one of their friends reblogged a post I had made about age of consent being tricky, because some places have it set ridiculously low, and the number of years between partners not exactly being the only thing to determine abuse, etc. It’s a subject I’ve covered a million times on WNSE. What happened is that person reblogged the post but took out everything but the opening sentence “Age of consent can be a tricky thing” and claiming I was making a case for child sexual abuse/pedophilia as a part of saying I tried to rape their friend. (This was also a person who said that it could never be possible for someone to rape/abuse someone older than them hence the context of my reply.) (For the record because I know the above is potential worrying content, if you don’t feel comfortable with me that’s fine. I don’t expect you to buy everything I say especially now that the evidence is gone.)

[blog-truth-seeker-blog]

Warning: Strong Language

It has recently come to my “Realization” why Rothschild put Trump in the White House. And the tactics behind it are too childish for words. Hopefully, it will come through.

I came across the post about the “anti-vaccine movement” in Texas this morning, and I instantly realized that Trump was put in the Oval Office simply to “Act” like an idiot. This is what allowed us to forgive the Bush, Clinton, and Rothschild families for 9-11. Oh, well, ofcourse the “Terrorists” were able to pull it off, the President is an idiot.      Flash forward to 2017, and we seem to have another idiot as President. But, I for one, am not sold. All through his career as a “famous rich person” he has spoken intelligently. Now, as a Presidential candidate, and as President “S”elect, he seems incapable of completing one single solitary competent sentence. Don’t even ask for an entire intelligent thought. It’s not happening.

Then I thought about the fact that every once in awhile, he, Trump, makes a statement, or declares an action that I am completely in line with. Such as, “You think OUR country is so innocent?!”       Absolutely not. Or, “Trump launches “anti-vaccine movement” in Texas.” To this I say good. Past time to start an active specifically “Anti-Vaccine Movement.”

  “Great Scott”, that’s it. Idiots have been Trump’s target base during his entire election campaign. Idiots are the stage that Trump’s illegitimate Presidency is built upon. Those of us who are determined to stand our ground and keep pushing to recognize the programming, the lies, the misdirection, are failing here.

Trump is only in office to be an idiot, push through the TPP, increase the elite’s monetary flow, and initiate a percentage of positive changes on society from a skewed government authority perspective, in order to de- legitimize our very valid arguments, in the eye’s of the other idiots who blindly trust in a murderous government system.

Trump gives a boost to this movement, in Texas, where the movement is most concentrated and organized. People who have already decided the man cannot be trusted one little inch automatically write it off, as “Just him starting more shit.” The government’s idiots, however, launch an uninformed, emotional, and easily foreseeable “Idiotic” argument against vaccines because “The Medical Societal is the Devil.” Meanwhile, the “Medical Society” launches a clever, well- organized ad campaign to fully explain to the government’s “Idiots” why vaccines are good for us, and reinforce in our minds why we should blindly listen to them, and not an “Idiot” like Trump. “Public health experts warn that this growing movement is threatening one of the most successful medical innovations of modern times. Globally, vaccines prevent the deaths of about 2.5 million children every year, but deadly diseases such as measles and whooping cough still circulate in populations where enough people are unvaccinated.” By Lena H. Sun Alice Crites contributed to this report from Washington, and Eva Ruth Moravec contributed from San Antonio.

This quote, by one of The Washington Post writers, presents us all with undeniable proof that the Washington Post is definitively not a trusted source for news of any kind. They are culpable in murder through coercion, misdirection, and outright lies. Leo Kanner, Johns Hopkins University, 1943   “Since 1938, there have come to our attention a number of children whose condition differs so markedly and uniquely from anything reported so far, that each case merits – and, I hope, will eventually receive – a detailed consideration of its fascinating peculiarities.”   All of Kanners cases were born after, and began to appear following, the introduction of Eli Lilly’s new form of water-soluble mercury in the late 1920s used as an antifungal in forestry, a wood treatment product in the lumber industry and as a disinfectant and antibacterial in the medical industry under the name of “Thimerosal” that was included in vaccines.

It’s really, literally that simple. Trump is in office to not give a fuck about giving the elite everything they want. Additionally, he is in office to give a Fuck about some very serious health and safety concerns, just to give his “Idiots” a run at “exposing” these “Criminal Inner Societies,” just to fail, and in doing so, make it “Idiotic” to even question any point of the establishment.

  Health & Science Trump energizes the anti-vaccine movement in Texas

It is an often repeated fallacy that there is no research that supports the supposition that vaccines can cause autism. This talking point is most often repeated by medical personnel and public health officials who have simply never been told that these studies exist, and in some cases by those who refuse to read the information when it is offered to them, so they continue to labor under the false assumption that vaccine-autism causation is merely an “internet rumor” or a result of one paper that was published in 1998.

Autistic Disturbances of Affective Contact   Leo Kanner, Johns Hopkins University, 1943   “Since 1938, there have come to our attention a number of children whose condition differs so markedly and uniquely from anything reported so far, that each case merits – and, I hope, will eventually receive – a detailed consideration of its fascinating peculiarities.”   All of

“Since 1938, there have come to our attention a number of children whose condition differs so markedly and uniquely from anything reported so far, that each case merits – and, I hope, will eventually receive – a detailed consideration of its fascinating peculiarities.”   All of Kanners cases were born after, and began to appear following, the introduction of Eli Lilly’s new form of water-soluble mercury in the late 1920s used as an antifungal in forestry, a wood treatment product in the lumber industry and as a disinfectant and antibacterial in the medical industry under the name of “Thimerosal” that was included in vaccines.

For further information on the early evidence of a vaccine/connection, I recommend reading Dr. Bryan Jepson’s book, “Changing the Course of Autism: A Scientific Approach for Parents and Physicians,” as well as MarkBlaxill and Dan Olmseted’s new book “The Age of Autism: Mercury, Medicine, and a Man-made Epidemic.”      1. Hepatitis B Vaccination of Male Neonates and Autism   Annals of Epidemiology , Vol. 19, No. 9 ABSTRACTS (ACE), September 2009: 651-680, p. 659   CM Gallagher, MS Goodman, Graduate Program in Public Health, Stony Brook University Medical Center, Stony Brook, NY   PURPOSE: Universal newborn immunization with hepatitis B vaccine was recommended in 1991; however, safety findings are mixed. The Vaccine Safety Datalink Workgroup reported no association between hepatitis B vaccination at birth and febrile episodes or neurological adverse events. Other studies found positive associations between hepatitis B vaccination and ear infection, pharyngitis, and chronic arthritis; as well as receipt of early intervention/special education services (EIS); in probability samples of U.S. children. Children with autistic spectrum disorder (ASD) comprise a growing caseload for EIS. We evaluated the association between hepatitis B vaccination of male neonates and parental report of ASD.

METHODS: This cross-sectional study used U.S. probability samples obtained from National Health Interview Survey 1997-2002 datasets. Logistic regression modeling was used to estimate the effect of neonatal hepatitis B vaccination on ASD risk among boys age 3-17 years with shot records, adjusted for race, maternal education, and two-parent household.

  RESULTS: Boys who received the hepatitis B vaccine during the first month of life had 2.94 greater odds for ASD (nZ31 of 7,486; OR Z 2.94; p Z 0.03; 95% CI Z 1.10, 7.90) compared to later- or unvaccinated boys. Non-Hispanic white boys were 61% less likely to have ASD (ORZ0.39; pZ0.04; 95% CIZ0.16, 0.94) relative to non-white boys.   CONCLUSION: Findings suggest that U.S. male neonates vaccinated with hepatitis B vaccine had a 3-fold greater risk of ASD; risk was greatest for non-white boys.

See this full story and the other 29 reports contradicting the CDC and Medical Society in the link below.

Trump, Challenged About Putin, Says ‘Our Country’s So Innocent?’

Bill O’Reilly calls Putin a murderer in an interview with Trump on CNN, to which Trump responds “You think our countries so innocent, there’s a lot of killers in this country.”      And he was absolutely right. America has zero moral ground to stand on to accuse any other country, let alone an individual human being of any criminal action. It is well known by this point in history that the European Governments, including America, comprise the world’s only verified terroristic organizations.

Trump defence chief Mattis threatens less commitment to NATO 15 February 2017

A couple years ago NATO was condemning America for crimes against humanity over the state of water in Flint, MI, and several other states. In addition to our established record of police murdering innocent citizens.       Now they are going after Putin, and Trump threatens to pull away if the other NATO nations fail to increase their own spending in order to align with America’s Projections.

How Obama is scheming to sabotage Trump’s presidency

Former Obama Officials, Loyalists Waged Secret Campaign to Oust Flynn Sources:

Former Obama officials, loyalists planted series of stories to discredit Flynn, bolster Iran deal BY:Adam Kredo

You Are Fake News!’: Trump and CNN’s Jim Acosta Get Into Shouting Match at Presser by Justin Baragona | 12:18 pm, January 11th, 2017

Short and sweet. He is a diversion being used against us through the unadulterated force of the governments will against that of their constituents ( Bosses ). He divides us through continued fear mongering, Religious persecution, Racist profiling, Constitutionally Illegal “Laws”, Sexism, continued deterioration of employee rights…….      His moronic demeanor is nothing more than a show to lead his supporters to believe he is determined to be their

His moronic demeanor is nothing more than a show to lead his supporters to believe he is determined to be their savior, and to tell the rest of us that he can do whatever he wants, and he will wear us down, and destroy us

Appropriately Trumped Warning: Strong Language It has recently come to my “Realization” why Rothschild put Trump in the White House.