#we just like to joke about the whole shit

[dear-ao3]

Question for the mods....

HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MEET???

Like what???

How??

I am so god damn curious about you two. I wanna study yall under a microscope lol

Also ngl kinda envious of how close of friends you two seem to be. (Being an introverted shy af mofo sucks lmao)

I would actually probably read a whole ass book or watch a sitcom or something of the seemingly ever present weird-ass shit that seems to happen on a day-by-day basis.

/gen /lh /nf /pos

2018 newsies fandom. we weren't overly close but we bonded over race and albert a little and then katya dropped off the face of the earth for about a year.

during 2020 lockdown we both independently got into the witcher fandom and somehow ran into eachother again and had the fingers pointing OH MY GOD Y O U !!! moment in our dms. we bonded over hating jaskier. during this time we realized we were both dancers and katya was looking at dance colleges, i was already in college for dance and since it was lockdown and we couldn't go anywhere i told katya my experience auditioning at places to give him a good idea of places. and then i broke every internet safety rule known to man and said hey what if you had applied to my college but didnt know it?? and then one thing led to another and i dished out all the tea on my school. (only After that did we face reveal and give eachother our names lol) and then katya applied. mostly as a joke. until it wasnt a joke because that school gave katya a shit load of money and actually had stuff katya wanted to do. katya ended up coming to one of my zoom ballet classes and it took everything we had to not loose our shit on camera.

during this time we mostly kept eachother sane in lockdown writing witcher fanfic, and sending eachother awful thirst traps on instagram to pitbull music. one of our awful bits was using the dilf filter to make bad frat boy edits.

come august of 2021 we both moved into college. the same college. in the same building. it was wild. i pinched myself several times in shock. we went on a walk around campus with some worms on strings and were like what the hell how did we get here.

we continued to hang out and did weird insane things together. we took a class on the french revolution together where i had to put up with katya and fennec awkwardly flirting (read: making finger guns at eachother).

and then, since i was 2 years older, i was graduating and was going to stay in the area for a job and was like hey. what if we got an apartment together? and then we did. several adults agreed to this. idk why they let us. but now we live together in a real life apartment and we haven't even killed eachother yet. neither of our parents know that we met online. each of them have a different fake story as to how we know eachother and we really just hope they are never in the same room long enough to ask eachother about it. but its insane. 12/10 would recommend.

katya wanted me to include old tumblr screenshots of us talking, heres what i found from circa 2020:

we've always been like this lol

and heres some ancient greatest hits from instagram, i dont have context and trust me you dont want it:

every now and then the two of us look at eachother and go. how the fuck did we end up here??? (we have no idea)

[tastesousweet]

Can we get a toxic!babydaddy Matt fic like I’m craving something about my man like it’s been days and I haven’t eaten

⭒ blurb : toxic!bd matt who . . .

toxic!babydaddy matt x poc!reader

warnings: toxic relationship, dad!matt (i understand if u don’t fw it), idk what else :P

mickey speaks: this is kinda different for me so ty for the req!! ik this is just a little headcannon set but i hope you luv this anon 💐

─────────── · · ୨୧ · · ───────────

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . brings some girl he’s been “hanging out with” to your daughter’s third birthday party just to piss you off

he’d then get mad when you ignore him and his “friend” the entire party…

he’d come up to you as you watch your daughter play on the decorated playground from afar, “the fuck you bein’ petty for, y/n? i thought we were cool with seeing other people?”

“well i just think it’s rude, you didn’t tell me you were bringing anyone else. i don’t care who she is or what you two do it’s annoying from a planning perspective.”

“that’s my bad… you look good though,” he’d glance around for a second before coming behind you and hooking his arm on your neck.

he’d whisper in your ear while you both stare out at your lively daughter, “can’t believe she’s so big now… lookin’ just like her pretty mama.”

you’d roll your eyes and shoulder matt off of you, “matt, go fuck on the bitch you brought here. and stop saying shit like that to me.”

“jesus- watch your language there’s kids everywhere, y/n.”

you blankly stare at him and his cocky smirk that just aggravates you to pieces, “go awayyy, matt.” you whine out and pinch your eyes with a sigh.

and he laughs because everything’s a fucking joke to him.

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . your friends hate but you will always have a soft spot for, he is your daughter’s father after all

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . sends hundreds of roses to your doorstep for mother’s day

when you text him a picture of the ridiculous bouquets with a “????” he immediately facetimes you, “for the best mama in the whole world. you like ‘em?”

you shake your head and hide a smirk beneath your hand to scold him, “you do too much, matt.”

“uh huh i knew you’d say that…” he’d then ask to see his favorite girl, “now where’s my baby at?”

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . can’t mind his business to save his life. he’s always asking you questions about your personal life; and you always shut him down

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . can sometimes be a little too desirable when he drops your daughter off at your place (dressed nicely, smelling good, eyes bright yet droopingly eye-fucking you, etc), leading you to invite him in for a glass of wine or two

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . you sometimes find in your bed again when you feel particularly lonely and nostalgic

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . loves the few times he gets to to wake up to his daughter pulling on his hand and you by his side, fast asleep

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . tends to start arguments from the smallest things to get you to talk to him longer than you need to

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . will always put effort into being a great father (which you respect) despite never putting that same effort into your relationship

TOXIC!BABYDADDY MATT WHO . . . makes sure you’ll never forget he loved you first and is connected to you far deeper than any other man ever could be

[archangeldyke-all]

sucking plug!Sevika’s dick (real or fake i ain’t complaining) in the car after we smoked together… sighhhhhhh i’ll do anything for her

sameeee

men and minors dni

the music is turned down low, the car is filled with smoke and the soft light of dusk. sevika's sitting back in her reclined driver's seat, giggling at some dumb joke she'd made, and her shirt's ridden up a bit, revealing a strip of her waist.

she looks delicious.

you take the final drag off the joint, then toss it out the cracked window beside you before turning your body and attention toward your girlfriend. "we got any more deliveries tonight?" you ask, innocently reaching over the center console to grab her hand. she smirks at you, turning in her seat to face you.

"don't think so." she says. "why?"

you shrug, drawing circles on her hand. "i don't wanna distract you if we've got somewhere to be." you say. sevika grins.

"how're you gonna distract me?" she asks, waggling her eyebrows. you snort, and sevika grins, then pats her lap. you scramble over the center console but surprise her when you don't get in her lap, but sink to the floor between her legs instead. her eyes bulge out of her head and she gasps. "fuck, really?!" she asks, straightening up in her seat and whipping her head around to look out the windows.

there's nothing to be seen-- you're the only car in the whole lot, hidden behind your favorite little tree-- but it's cute how paranoid she is anyways. you giggle, pressing a kiss to her sweat-pant covered thigh and waiting for her to settle back down. "all clear out there, honey?" you tease.

she huffs, flicks your forehead fondly. "you're such a slut when you're high." she says, grinning. you bite her thigh and she giggles, and you grin when you speak.

"oh, it'll be a quick chill smoke sesh babe." you imitate sevika from earlier in the night. she giggles, and you tug at her waistband, getting a glimpse of her cock. "then you show up fuckin' hard packing. and somehow i'm the slut?" you ask.

sevika just giggles and shrugs. "maybe i just know you well enough to know you get needy when you're high." she suggests, bending down to kiss your lips. "maybe i know how much you like havin' my cock in your mouth."

you shiver, and sevika smirks against you before leaning back in her chair. you quickly pull her dick out out of her pants, and both of you moan as it flops out.

she's wearing both of your favorite dick-- she likes it because it's so lifelike, you like it because it stretches you no matter where she's putting it. in your cunt, in your mouth, even your hand can't reach its base all the way.

you don't waste time before ducking down and spitting on her dick, pumping it a few times.

you've been dating for almost a year, and by far one of your favorite things you'vee discovered about her in that year is that she gets off on you touching her straps just as much as you touching her cunt. if not more.

when you touch her cunt, she's all moans and stuttered half sentences. but when it's her cock-- she's still got the clarity of mind to spew filthy shit to you. like now.

"fuck-- fuckin' love your mouth on me honey." she whines as you start bobbing your mouth up and down the first few inches of her cock. "yeah, baby, get it all nice 'n messy for me." she groans as your drool starts escaping your lips, coating the remainder of her cock you've yet to fit in your throat.

you'll get there.

for now, you focus on steadily stroking her base, bobbing your head at the tip, making a sufficiently drooly mess of her. sevika loves messes. which is a good thing, because her sweat pants-- bunched around the base of her dick-- are growing damp with a puddle of your spit.

"i love you so much, baby, shit, look at you go-- fuckin' me so well."

"mmhngg" you grunt around her. she groans.

"yeah honey, take it." fuck, her words do something to you. you sink down a few more inches, almost reaching her base, choking and sputtering. she growls, reaching up to press you down the final few inches, your nose pressed against her pelvis as you gag around her. "there you go-- that's it baby, fuck!"

sevika pulls you off and you gasp, she shoves her tongue in your mouth before you can even clean up the drool on your chin. you hum against her.

"you're so fuckin' hot." she whispers against your lips. you giggle, reaching between the two of you to continue jerking her off as she rambles against your lips. "y' look so pretty-- your eyes all pink and cryin' as you choke on my cock-- fuck, look at the pretty stain you left on my dick." she mutters, gesturing down at the pretty ring of pink lipgloss at the base of her dick. you giggle.

"'s on your lips too, y'know." you say. she grins.

"and my cheeks?" she asks. you pull away enough to inspect her, and burst into laughter when you find you've stained her entire face with your bright lipstick.

"yep." you assure. "didn't miss a spot." you promise. she grins.

"good." she shifts her hips a bit, and you giggle, knowing what she wants but wanting to hear her ask for it. "take your shirt off." she demands. you snort.

"you first." her shirt's in the backseat before you can finish your sentence. you giggle, and then raise your arms, letting her strip you. she sighs when your tits are free, reaching forward to give them each a nice squeeze before sitting back in her chair.

"alright. back to it." she says, smacking her thighs. you giggle.

"no please?"

sevika rolls her eyes, then grunts. "please."

you grin, then duck forward and take her down all in one go. sevika gasps, her hips jolting in the chair, and you choke around her cock for a second as she tries to get her humping under control.

"i'm-- you're so-- fuck you feel so fuckin' good." she whines. you moan as you start bobbing your head again, one of sevika's hands holding your hair out of your face, the other holding the 'oh shit' bar on the roof.

you reach one of your hands up to press just underneath the strap, right against her cunt through her sweats as you continue to bob your head on her cock. she whimpers, "oh!" and her hand comes flying down for her to bite her knuckles as she starts to cum. "mmmbaby!" she squeals, thrusting her hips up and choking you just a little more as she cums.

you pull off with a gasp, spit soaking your neck and chin, tears running down your cheeks as you try to catch your breath. sevika's giggling and grinning at you, reaching up to help you wipe the mess on your face clean. "good?" you ask, kissing her palm. she bursts into another round of giggles at this.

"come up here." she hooks her arms under your armpits and pulls you up into your lap, nuzzling against your face. "i love you." she mumbles. you kiss her temple.

"love you too. is my makeup a mess?"

"you cried some of your eyelashes off." sevika giggles. you groan, and she gently pinches your ass. "now... you want me to fuck you in the backseat or take you home and fuck you in bed?" she asks. you giggle and consider your options.

"if we go home, we can take those fuckin'... arousal edibles you were talking about earlier." you whisper. sevika grins, then launches forward to kiss you so suddenly your back hits the horn.

you both jump as the car lets out a 'beep!' in the abandoned lot. then, you both burst into giggles. "you're so fuckin' smart and so fuckin' hot-- how'd i get so lucky?" she asks you as you crawl into the passenger seat.

"well-- you lemme smoke a whole lotta weed for free, that was a pretty good start." you joke as she starts the car. she snorts, and you reach over, tucking her hair behind her ear. "also... y'know. you're gorgeous." you say, shrugging. sevika grins, stops the car in the middle of the abandoned lot, and darts over the center console to kiss you. you hum against her lips, then smack her shoulder. "c'mon drive! you need to get me home."

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Thinking about Sam being the Memory of When it was all Alright, even if not everything was as good as Nostalgia makes it look like.

Cute, easily flustered Sam, with his warmth and his bright laughter and his easiness at understanding Alice, the obsessive and stubbornness in his brow when they'd get into yet another adventure for x or y reasons.

Sam the good, sweet boy to introduce to your parents and baby brother, so smart and clearly heading towards a Good Respectable life, Sam groaning about expectations in the bed later on at night, half whining half joking he can't live up to all that, Alice, come on-

Sam your best mate, present everywhere in your life despite different majors, Sam your first real serious proper love, the sort you think will be forever. Sam and his genuine kindness, his desperate desire to help when it all came to shit...

And then Sam is gone, just a name and a few posts on social medias and twitter, few birthdays texts across the years while your life is made of a boring (dangerous dangerous dangerous do Not Look Closer DO not ask questions) job you can't leave cause it's stable enough, it pays enough, you're OK enough in it and Luke needs you.

But of course Sam stays the bright spot, the almost everything, the future that faded away with your mum and dad's death. Of course Sam is meant to be joy and possibilities.

But then it turns out 10 years has passed, whether you want it or not. Doesn't matter you kept the scraps of paper on which you guys had written silly weddings plans on in a bar one night forever ago, Sam laughing into your neck and going 'sure, we can have a dog bring the rings, but mum is going to want my cousin's daughter to do it so good luck convincing HER'. Doesn't matter Sam is still bright and warm and cute with the best puppy eyes in the world, more than happy to be your friend again.

He's had a life and ten years to move on, even if your feet are still suck and most day you're still a 24 year dumb kid who thinks the whole world's going to be her oyster,,

Meanwhile, your insufferabl(y cute) overly ambitious, annoying coworker is absolutely not checking out with those new piercings and pink hair -

[ebonysplendor]

psst 👀 you should check out “Where He is King” by mellowbile on itch.io

Hmm...heard 👀

TL;DR: He's a joker, a jester, an absolute clown...but the pain that he puts us through is no joke

That was horrible, I know. I couldn't think of anything else. Plz let me live ._.

Game Link: https://mellowbile.itch.io/where-he-is-king

Notable Features: Nameless MC, Female MC, Demon/God LI(?), Yandere LI(?), Choice-heavy story Spiciness: 0/5 -- Unless you're into the whole dismembered from the inside out thing, then 5/5. No kink shaming here LI(?) Red Flags: 5/5 -- Physically abusive, Torture, Sadist. That's about it, but it's pretty gruesome/vivid stuff

Wanna know more? Not if you're not at least 18! Y'all were good until it got updated a few days or so ago due to the gore. Anyways, if you're part of the 18+ club, let's get into it!

!! C O N T E N T !! !! W A R N I N G !!

He looks more like a jester to me, but it may trigger that whole fear of clowns thing...just a heads up

So, this one was a request, which I'm always excited about, so of course I had to give it the old college try. To be honest, I saw and played this the same day that I had gotten the request (hence why I wrote the whole "y'all were good until a few days ago" thing, because it was a few days ago at the time), but I really wanted to get that Trembling Essence review out first, and then, I started adulting and lost track of time, and then a month went by, and yeah. Not to mention that I was looking FOREVER for a particular ending; I'll get into that more once the review portion comes along. Anyways.

Now, admittedly, this one wasn't too much of my style but...actually, just take a look at this:

I actually appreciate the disclaimer because, admittedly, the first thought I had was "This feels gorey for the sake of being gorey", but after remembering what they had said about it being more emotionally charged writing, I realized that it actually was pretty emotionally charged. Like, the writing itself was actually pretty solid and the art? Ugh, I loved the visuals. Those of you who have been rocking with me for some of my reviews know that I get completely undone over sprites, CGs, and all that visual stuff.

Admittedly, I don't really have too much to say in the intro. All that I want to say seems more appropriate for the review portion, so I'm going to go ahead and jump into talking about the game itself. As per typical, I'm going to tell you as much about the game without ruining the game itself.

So boom.

We're on the run. Well, let me rephrase that: we were on the run, but our ankle is kind've AFK, at the moment, and running isn't really an option right now. Just as a little backstory, the reason why we're trying to get away from him is because everything is literally going to shit, or Hell, more accurately. Villagers are disappearing, children are either becoming runaways or being abducted, and there's this hypnotic music that's (assumed to be) always playing in the background from a taunting distance, being just barely heard. Not long after, a devil -- that was intentional, by the way, because he's not the devil, but a devil. He ain't that special, but he's still dangerous -- catches up to us.

Friedrich "JunJingl" Marchosias. Yeah, I jumbled the pronunciation of that last name, too, but just know that that's his name lmao.

Naturally, he starts to taunt us, calling us a "broken toy" because our ankle is sprained, and we aren't much for running right now, which makes his pursuit less amusing for him. This wouldn't be such an issue if, one, Sir Jester Douche wasn't a literal psycho and a pretty serious threat, and two, we weren't literally the last human alive. That's right folks: we're what remains of humanity. Okay, well, maybe not that dramatic, but it seems that way because the people that would've been in the surrounding area are either dead or they were a part of his army, but that's not reassuring either because he only took the children for his army -- we're a full grown adult, so our fate isn't looking too good.

At this point, he's getting pretty pissed at us. That's because he's been talking mad shit this whole time, but we've been silent throughout his whole lil' speech. Like, oh, pardon me for my brain shutting down and putting survival at the top of the list, my good sir.

We indulge in his arrogance briefly, but just long enough for us to stall him while we make a gameplan. Now, here's the thing: if we make a run for it, we're probably going to die because our ankle is pretty messed up, but if we stay and keep talking to this psycho clown...we're probably going to die.

Huh. Okay then. With that being realized...

We bolt. We are outta of there. Point blank period, because it's like, if our chance of death is pretty much inevitable, we may as well make him work for it.

That's kind've falling flat though, because he's right on our tail, and he's not even putting in the effort while doing it. We can't worry about that for too long though, because we hear this music playing and...oh shit.

It's going from bad to worse. Now, we have to worry about his entire army chasing after us, too. It doesn't matter though because survival is still at the top of the list, no matter how slim or nonexistent the chance may be; we keep running. We run and run and run and run until we get to this well. Granted, it may have been a stupid move, but we actually managed to get a good bit of distance, and we stop to get a drink from the well. Like I said, probably a stupid move, but shit, we don't have much of a chance of survival if we're dehydrated. ...Actually, we don't have much of a chance of survival if we are hydrated, either, but a bitch is thirsty, so we get that damn drink, or so we thought we were going to. What we were expecting was a well full of rainwater.

It's full of blood.

We don't even have time to be scared before Friedrich pops up behind us. With our survival instincts kicking in, we get on our gangster shit. We notice that the bucket was silver and recall how a lot of the things in the village had been replaced with silver dupes because it could ward off evil. When I say that we got a good ass grip on that silver bucket...

And absolutely knocked his shit in?! We blasted the hell out of him with that bucket. Look at this man's face.

Lmao, no babes. Not that face.

Lol not that one either...

Ah, yes. We...might have just plummeted our inevitable chance of death to an inevitable certainty of death...

And the story continues from this point, my friends! Actually! This is only one route of ten! Which ending is this you ask? Lol like I'm going to tell you. You'll have to play the game for yourself to find that out. Just be cautious, because it does get a little...messy.

Okay, so! ...Wasn't really my cup of tea, not gonna lie, but it wasn't bad!

First and foremost, let's get into the visuals of this game. The art was definitely pleasing to look at. Like, ugh, I love CGs and sprites and visual effects and all of that, and this game had a looooot of them. Like, take a little lookie look.

Chef's kiss work right there. I really, really, really loved the artwork. Definitely my favorite aspect of this game.

Now, like I said in the beginning, the gore was pretty "in your face" and definitely gives the initial impression of being gorey for the sake of being gorey; however, I made sure that I read it with the "emotionally charged" disclaimer in mind. Pleasantly enough, I actually could get that vibe. The dev gave the go-ahead for personal interpretations but, mmm, nah. Even though I'm not the most analytical person, I was going to let you all in on my weird thoughts, but nah, I think I'll pass on that for another day.

Put it this way though, obviously, I took it as a metaphor for being in pain, but hear me out (TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE BY THE WAY): it's not just physical pain, but that pain that you feel from the inside. You know, that internal pain that's so intense that it feels like it's literally tearing you apart from the inside out. The worst part about that type of pain is that, even though you want to die, there's something that's keeping you alive, and it feels like literal torture. To me, the game was a huge metaphor for fighting to survive but staying alive feels like torture, and you're just left constantly wishing for it to just end -- maybe a sprinkle of being haunted by past mistakes and a possibly wavering faith? (TRIGGER WARNING END). Anyways, that interpretation may make more sense if you decide to actually play it for yourself. Lol I guess I did let you guys in on my thoughts after all. Guess we're getting kinda close at this point, huh?

Also anyways, another reason why it took me so long to post was because for the LIFE of me, I could not frickin figure out how to get ending number 7!! At the time, the game was extremely new. Like, still in the box wrapped in plastic new, and I was like "Shit, I'm on my own, and I'm dumb". I spent so much time and literally revisited the game on different days to see if I had accidentally skipped something and found nothing new. I looked through the files, and I was like "Bro, I've literally seen all of these sprites and CGs. What am I possibly missing?". When I say that it was driving me nuts... BUT THEN! I WENT TO THE GAME PAGE AND I SAW THIS

OH BLESS IT. I WASN'T BEING AN IDIOT; ENDING 7 JUST DIDN'T EXIST. THE RELIEF THAT I FELT. At the same time though, I was like "...why was there no ending 7?" But minor concern. Very minor.

Overall, the game was pretty damn solid! Lots of gore for sure, and I definitely didn't mind it, but the initial reaction was gore just for the sake of gore; however, when you really give it a chance, the writing's actually pretty okay. My favorite thing about it was by far the art and my other favorite thing was that we got to blast Friedrich's ass with that bucket. That was so satisfying. I mean there were consequences, yeah, but we still got our lick in lmao.

Welp, that's pretty much all from me! I recommended giving it a solid playthrough or two! I recommend it so much, I'll put the link right here so that you can give it a try. Also! Apparently they have a tumblr page for their art, and I'll link that here as well! I didn't see anything for a donation, but if you find otherwise, I'm sure they'd appreciate the monetary support. If you're broke, like me, send them some encouraging words and let them know "Hey, you did a thing, and I think that you should continue to do that thing because you're pretty good at it!"

But yeah, I'm going to end it here so that way I can FINALLY get this posted! Sorry for being MIA for a little. Adulting really be adulting, and I am ill-prepared for it a lot of the time ^^;

Anyways! Remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Where He Is King

Dev's Art Tumblr

[prettyhighforawhiteguyblog]

I'm the wife in my marriage.

It's funny to me anyway. Funny to me because my wife is the very picture of femininity, loving, caring, sexy, pretty, beautiful wife, loving and adored by all her children. And a satisfied and hot for her husband.

But to me she is beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love her and despair!

And yet she chose me.

So to all the hella ladies who rejected my advances? Y'all missed out. Because she saw in me what way too many people couldn't. And sometimes still can't.

And she wants to run my life. And the lives of our whole family. And we all kinda love it. Mostly. But it ain't worth the headache or heartache of fighting her on anything. She's Daddy's little princess and her mother is the loving matron and queen bitch of the family and we all stay in line. Mostly. I love to do my own thing too much for my own good. But it keeps our fights about stupid stuff instead of my weed use again.

(I'm dead ass functional and present from 6am on till I finally get my insomniac ass too sleep while high just to escape the constant anxiety about my sick daughter's upcoming surgery, my dying suegro, my mourning wife, disturbed autistic son, special needs princess Daddy's girl I'm spoiling her to death to make her just as powerful and ungovernable mother and it's working too well already. Have you ever negotiated with a hostile bitchy entitled as fuck child? )

Anyway, you wouldn't know it looking at me or talking normal chitchat, but I'm pretty fucking manly. In the way my culture defines manliness. I'm not very masculine. But I'm very manly.

I'm feminine as fuck in my household. I mother the kids, help their emotional development, work on my wife's emotional and mental well-being, and I'm the one never in the mood for sex. And I do every single thing she says. And then she does the discipline and management of the family's affairs. And she's the one who has to seduce me. Did I mention she was sexy as fuck? (While I'm awkward as fuck every time we even roleplay.) And a horny Latina. (That's why these horny sexy, nice, Latinos are taking over. It's natural selection. The Whites just can't compete and as usual are getting their panties in a twist over not being able to compete even with everything in their favor to out reproduce them all but it was too many kids for a nuclear family to handle Whites.) So beautiful hot queen sexy as fuck Latina seduces me every night. #blessed. So fuck yeah I don't wanna fuck up this arrangement. So I do everything she tells me to and treat her real good and let her win every argument and over apologize. Except when I make a rare exception to make a stand in something important or just to make some trouble and have some fun.

Oh yeah. She's a clean freak 😮‍💨 But she's an impatient Latina housewife perfectionist clean freak. So she gets mad at my perfectly good job when company isn't ever coming job and tells me to stop even trying to clean. Go play Minecraft with your daughter to keep her occupied.🤣

I have the best living situation ever. I'll be your bitch my bitchy highness. Just please keep playing with my hair on your lap. Oh, and that sucking my dick the way you do and being right 95% of the time on judgement calls.

So yeah I'm the wife.

And I got a pretty good life.

[gregoftom]

pretty sure i’ve seen romance movies with scenes like this

[r0achlezbian]

i will forgive all of larian's sins both past and present if we get a quest to kill mizora btw

[yoinkschief]

ffuuCCKK my hyperfixations are hyperfixating again and it's that time where I get violently "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY INTERESTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE" again

This is literally me right now, had to quickly whip out MSPaint to visualize my crippling feelings

I swear the next time one of my interests is brought up I'm making a youtube video essay script about it I need to get it out before I [REDACTED]

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Mordecai probably lives in an apartment or something, but my first thought when you brought up the Caves on that post was that he won’t tell us because he’s been living in the Caves the Whole Time. Even tho he’d hate the slime mold.

yeah a Whole Damn House would be a bit much, and probably not as useful for the nightly bootlegging related goings on: see, freckle needing to stand around waiting for a ride before he can go shoot people. whereas mordecai can show up to the maribel hotel on foot, or at least have started out somewhere he could get a cab or whatever....and this is probably the closest to any relevant Living Situation Glimpses

someplace with a bed, and one with an art deco headboard....a modern style, so it's neither Antique nor unfancy enough to have less identifiable stylings at all. like just by guessing surely he lives in some apartment that's unassuming enough to live unassumingly in, with whatever alias, so something large & fancy would be unhelpful....plus if he's gonna be fairly rigorous in his domestic upkeep, it wouldn't really help to have a huge place, even if for the same reasons it wouldn't be too small (or old or otherwise unpleasant; hard no to slime mold, slime, or mold....) and like re: the rotating aliases, maybe he moves places fairly regularly for good measure, been at this like, a decade....tl;dr probably has some apartment/s that's roomy but not huge, nice but not Fancy fancy, at the nexus of practicality, resources, and preferences

but it's important to think about "what if mordecai's been living in the caves the whole time" b/c that's funny lmao

[lorephobic]

idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?

[toytulini]

terfs go climb into a hole and start rotting. animals cannot inherently tell your "biological sex" you are all so fucking stupid. All this post is saying is that animals are not infallible judges of character and some of them make really stupid vibe checks and that people should try not to take it personally. Unless youre a terf in which case they know and they hate you and you should take it personally

re that one post tbh i do want to stress i dont think animals are like magically psychic at knowing your True Gender tbh i think ppl definitely get way too weird about Animal's judgement of ppl.

Sometimes a dog will vibe check a man and the dog will be right and you should listen. but sometimes the dog will vibe check someone for no good reason. sometimes dogs have wack judgement. sometimes dogs have biases influenced by their owners or previous owners. like. there are Racist Dogs. its not the dogs fault, but that doesnt make the bias theyve developed less real, or less potentially hurtful. i dont think we need to like, Cancel Dogs Bc Sometimes Ppl Can Train Them To Be Racist, but we do need to stop perpetuating the idea that a dog's judgement of someone is infallible. theyre not responsible for it and its not their fault its developed, theyre just dogs, they didnt choose it, but that doesnt mean theyre RIGHT lmao. i think its important to stress this for many reasons but in regard to that last post specifically, if youve ever been vibe checked as a gender you arent by a judgy dog its literally not your fault. might not even be the owners fault. not the dogs fault cos like. its a fucking dog. you do kinda have to be the bigger person in that scenario cos the other person is. A Dog.

[sailor-aviator]

.

[todayisafridaynight]

That fuckin new bucket list trailer for 8?????????

hey what if we all just cut ourselves in half after this huh

[alagaisia]

I’m reminded of that post about how goths and people who wear only lots of pink are actually the same because “wearing only one color” is a specific choice in opposition to just looking Normal

I’m flying to a friend’s wedding today, and I recently acquired from my neighborhood free page a very pretty vintage suitcase in like a brocade upholstery texture in all of my good colors, so of course I needed a coordinated airport outfit à la Midge Maisel. You guys don’t know me, but I usually dress very put together, in what my sister calls Outfits, with a capital O to distinguish it from just wearing clothes. And since getting a full time job I’ve been slowly adding to my collection of vintage and 50’s-vibes clothes, because I just really like that aesthetic (my bridesmaid dress for the wedding is a vintage tea dress I got from Etsy. The fabric is in great condition but I had to reinforce pretty much every seam with my sewing machine, because the structural integrity of the original thread was breaking down, so that was an interesting learning experience).

All of which is to say that I Dressed Up for the airport in a vintage-y outfit that coordinates perfectly with some of the colors of my suitcase, and my hair is curled, and I have a vintage leather purse that my grandma gave me that matches her watch that I’m wearing and the shoes she bought me last summer at the same vintage store that my skirt came from, and a teenage-ish girl with whatever you call the 2023 teenage equivalent of emo/punk vibes, like the dark maroon mullet and not a lot of makeup and dark comfy clothes but like, very on purpose, told me I look cool when I walked past on the way to security

And like, she Gets It! We have different fashion goals but I think we put a similar degree of intention into the way we look compared to just wearing regular clothes. Which is cool! It’s validating. Not that I really need validation, but it’s always nice to get compliments, of course. And the way I dress is really not terribly distinctive most of the time, other than being Outfits and a little dressier than maybe the norm is, like I think most people who see me one time in passing would see that I look Nice but not necessarily see it as a cultivated Look. But punk mullet girl gets it.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Okay but why are we letting some disgusting simpy vivziepaparazzi gamer bro of questionably indeterminate age who had Octavia as his "channel mascot" for years before switching to Velvette (which.. ew, by the way, make your own damn O.C like everyone else or fuck off) get to decide who the "hottest hazbin hotel character" is when he clearly has no bitches of his own and is probably already on some sort of watch list?

Oh, and it's funny how all the characters he chose are men because you know if he was doing the hottest female vivziepop characters he'd be compelled to put Octavia on there, which is why he knew he could only focus on the men of Hazbin...

Also, it's obvious this skeevey arsehole has absolutely no taste because the pictures he chose are not only terrible but show obvious bias (which, what else do you expect from a covert neo nazi supporter? 💀 Of course the only one with the halfway decent picture is the blonde one.. 💀 ) and Alastor would obviously win if he was at a better angle anyway, but this poll was rigged to begin with like, where the fuck are Husk and Valentino? 💀

Anyway, I copied and pasted this screenshot from someone else just to remind everyone how ayylmao.tv is a shit arse who's got big through monopolizing this fandom via his own brand of vivziepaparazzi click bait and content farming just as much as he accuses that other shit arse nstg or whoever the fuck and vivziepopclub of doing and if I ever see anyone reposting his "content" in the main tags uncritically from now on, I'm blocking them on sight. 💀

For the record, petitprincess1 is obviously another big name vivziepaparazzi content farm masquerading as a fan too but she's not as bad. Just a very annoying block evader and a stalker who can't comprehend when and why people don't like her and then likes to run her mouth about "rudeness" once people decide to talk about disliking her in public.

So our biggest names/sources of informaton in the fandom who aren't artists, are one pewdiepie/logan paul simp of indeterminate age who wants to fuck Octavia... I mean Velvette--- And one annoying stalker bitch who's so entitled to have access to others social media and personal photos and is so detached from reality that she might as well think she is Velvette... 💀

But yeah guys' the queer woman in the wheelchair is the one with the "worsening reputation" in this fandom because some y'all just think I'm mentally retar---I mean I'm ... "mentally disabled" to some of you. But, "not that you 'really know that'" and "nor do you care" in your own words.

And oh honey, I know you don't care. 💀

You cared a lot when me and my friends blocked you though. 💀

And you're still blocked, and you shouldn't be able to see this, so you shouldn't care that I'm still complaining about you now.

Because both you and shamrockshakefootlettice are so goddamn fucking inescapable and annoying. 💀 And it's not only me complaining about it. 💀