#we know (some) about her! and her past with Neal!

[thieves-never-say-die]

I really wish that I cared about Kate like… at all

They’re done *nothing* with her character. She has one character trait and that is stringing Neal along. In the *one* scene she has where she has actual speaking lines, even then we don’t get *any* insight into her! She points a gun at Peter and drops it five seconds later!

God I would’ve *killed* for some flashbacks in season one of her and Neal stealing together, or being cute, or literally anything to give her just a *little* more depth. It wouldn’t have been that hard

[orchidyoonkook]

To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 1

Title: Assembly’s and Introductions 

Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader

Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Mild Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn

Summary: There’s a new kid at your prestigious university, he’s tall, tattooed and muscular, and oh yeah, he’s the Prince. 

Warnings: PG13, mild swearing, a general ‘lets get the ball rolling’ first chapter

Word Count: 5410

Release Date: January 26, 2023, 12:40PM

A/N 1: I’ve been working on this since September 2022, got 80K in, and have accidentally taken an extended break from Dec 1st until now. I need a kick in the pants to continue writing it so here’s the first chapter. I hope you enjoy as I have read this about 400 times and I’m sick of editing it.

A/N 1.5: it’s pronounced ‘Nehl” not “Neal”

“Come on, come ooooon!!” Yuri says as she drags you by one arm down the corridor, the other filled with books and study notes. You’re being dragged from your mid morning study session and she's starting to stretch your favourite sweater from how hard she’s pulling.

Slipping from her grasp to save it from any permanent damage, Yuri uses her new freedom to take the lead.

“Not everyone cares as much about this as you do,” you say, rolling your eyes. “I get you’re here because your parents put you here but I worked for it. I can’t just abandon my study plans for some guy,” voice echoing in the corridor as you succeed in keeping up with her quick pace.

Yuri mocks your words in gibberish, matching your tone, just more nasally.

She’s heard this hundreds of times since becoming your best friend in first year after being assigned your roommate. She may force you to go to places and parties you don’t find nearly as important as she does, but you also know she’s the only reason you’ve had any fun since starting university.

That doesn’t deter you though.

“I’m serious,” you insist, refusing to back down.

A look you know well flashes over her face. One that’s a mixture of absurdity and exhaustion— specifically at you.

“You know, sometimes I can’t even believe we’re friends. He’s not just some guy YN,” she looks over her shoulder to make eye contact. “He's the prince.”

Ah yes, the prince.

How could you be so foolish?

The fancy name given to the poor bastard who doesn’t get to decide his future—or work for it for that matter. Just has it handed to him because he was born at the right place, right time.

The prince who’ll be king to the biggest nation in the west one day.

The prince everyone freaks out over.

Sure, he’s cute enough, and will eventually have lots of money and power, because those are so important for someone like him.

But what’s money and power if you’re miserable or an asshole or you don’t know what to do with it? What’s money and power for someone who’s never known poverty and helplessness?

The title of Prince means nothing if you don’t earn it. Means nothing if you don’t know how to use it properly.

Who knows if this one does? So why should you particularly care?

Unfortunately, most people can’t get past the ‘young, handsome, future king of the Western Shores, hunk-a-hunk of dreamy’—blah, blah, blah, the media splatters over every magazine cover they possibly can, earning the prince a hefty social following of adoring, screaming—slightly brain dead if you had any say about it— ‘followers’ aka fans.

And Yuri, like every other girl on campus, is one of them. Minus the brain dead and screaming.

Well…Sort of minus the screaming.

She has screamed, in the past at least. So maybe just minus the brain dead part…

Anyways, she’s grabbing your wrist and you sigh, wringing yourself free of her near iron grip, again. But you can’t blame her.

Yuri’s focused on one thing, and one thing only.

And it’s beginning in 15 minutes.

“Plus I want good seats!”

You scoff.

“He’s just a person, Yuri. I get he’s got an important title and fancy job, but that’s all that separates him from us.”

She glares at you as you reach the courtyard of your school.

Trees surround the perimeter in evenly placed lines, a large running fountain at its center. There’s plenty of open grass space the students use to study, picnic or throw a ball around on. And its cobblestone walkways are currently covered in rows upon rows of filled up seats.

Most of those filled seats are in the middle though, which surprises you. You would’ve thought girls would be lining up at the front row to see their prince.

“Yeah, just the title and fancy job,” Yuri says, taking her turn to scoff and opens her hand to count on her fingers. “Let's not count the fact that he’s insanely hot—have you seen his body? His face? Or what of the land he’ll inherit on top of the land he already owns? And money! Can’t forget that. Or clothes. Not enough? I can keep going,” she switches to her other hand. “How about control over the largest kingdom in The West? They don't call him ‘Prince of the Western Shores’ for nothing, Sweets. Also the mass of adoring fans, security and advisors following his every move, nice cars, fancy vacation houses…should I keep going?”

You’re pretty sure she only stopped because she ran out of fingers and you don’t deign her with a reply. Yuri seems content to have made her point and she did. 

But you’d never admit that to her. Instead you keep walking, taking in the sights around you.

Your school is The Royal Academy of Business and Fine Arts. Anyone can study here if they have the cash, or the brains, though one method is much more abused than the other.

It’s one of the most prestigious schools in the world because it’s where nearly every royal on this half of the continent goes to university. Hence the “Royal'' in the title.

Ladys, lords, dukes, duchesses, princesses and yes, princes all go here—are most of your classmates, actually. But there is only one prince everyone cares about. The one who, in the next few short years, will not only be at your school for whatever it is his father deems appropriate for him to study in his post secondary education, but the one who is also first in line and heir to the biggest kingdom in The West—if it hadn’t been mentioned before.

His Royal Highness, Prince Jeon Jungkook.

Okay… look.

It’s not that you don’t like him, he hasn’t done anything to make you hate him, and you’re sure he’s a decent guy once you get to know him.

It’s just that you don’t really feel any type of way about him, positive or negative. And that confuses so many people around you.

Which in turn, confuses you.

Most people seem to think he’s some sort of god sent angel carved by the hands of whoever created the universe. Fawning over him and thinking he can do no wrong. But what they all fail to see is that he’s just like them.

Got a bit more of a leg up on life than most, sure, but still human. Like you, or Yuri.

He eats and showers and uses the bathroom. He gets a runny nose and puffy eyes when he’s sick. He has bad hair days and ties his own shoes… you think.

He’s just a regular guy with an irregular job. So no, you had no opinion on him other than disinterested neutrality.

But if you had to feel something? You guess you probably felt pity.

You worked your ass off in highschool to get where you are. You and your mom screamed until your voices were hoarse when you got your acceptance letter two and a half years ago. One of 25 scholarship students accepted on a full ride every year.

You were doing a major in fine arts and a minor business, wanting to milk your education for all it’s worth on their dime. Lucking out that your two areas of interest were not only at one school, but at one of the best schools in the world for both subjects.

You chose what you wanted for your life and you worked for it for years. And now you sit comfortably at the top of your class in both fine arts and business, not taking your opportunity for granted for a second.

Jungkook though? He’s expected to go here. Doesn’t have much of a choice about it, and he doesn’t have to work for it either.

A small part of you that has yet to mature envies him for how easy he has it, for the privileges he is given simply because of one six letter word in front of his name. That he didn’t have to put in 60 hour weeks and give up his teenage years just to prove he was good enough to be here.

He was born good enough.

But that’s a small part of you, and you can ignore it if you try hard enough.

The point is you felt pity because he’s probably never had to work for something a day in his life. He doesn’t know the satisfaction of working towards something, to not only succeed, but to be the best.

To earn what he has.

He won’t know what to do when real life hits him.

Yuri lets a baby scream loose as she spots her desired seats and yanks you out of your thought spiral. 

The front of the courtyard is still relatively empty, middle still filling up faster than anything else.

“Yes! Score! First row, left side, that’s perfect! He'll definitely see us.”

She grabs your arm a third time and it’s an effort not to drop your books and groan at her.

Yuri’s like you in the sense where she is not royalty, but unlike you she—or should you say, her parents—are loaded.

Family business perks.

She’s here because she can be, because her family can afford to send her and make donations, not because she wants to be or because she worked for it.

But don’t misunderstand that, Yuri works hard. She just happens to party more than she studies most days. That and plan her future with a very rich and handsome guy who has yet to be determined.

You’d jokingly deemed her a royalty hunter after about an hour of meeting her for how badly she wanted to ‘marry up.’

“See you,” you correct, or has she forgotten about Nel, your boyfriend of 5 years? Your high school sweetheart and who is currently, much to your dismay, at school about 5000 miles away.

“I’m sure Cornelius wouldn’t be mad if the prince charms his girl just once, seeing as his royal highness can do that to most people just by breathing near them,” she quips. ”And even if he would get mad, Jungkook can just have him thrown in a dungeon for being overprotective and jealous.”

“The royal palace doesn’t have dungeons, but they do have a series of interrogation rooms on the third lower level,” you inform her. You did a project on the history and architecture of the royal palace in tenth grade—and Nel really wouldn’t care, he knows where he stands, just like you do.

“How do you just know that!”

Yuri didn’t know you in highschool and you used that to your advantage every single time you could, laughing bright and loud.

She starts dragging you down the walkway again, a habit of hers. Like she’s worried you’ll try to slip away if she isn’t forcing you where she wants you to be.

It’s a good instinct on her part.

You're nearly there, so you focus more on the trees just starting to turn colours overhead, casting slightly pigmented shadows on the ground. Fall is just starting to creep up on the heels of summer, the days of sunscreen and chlorine slowly being replaced by pumpkin spice and crisp apples.

She sits exactly where she wanted too, and you plop beside her, glad you’re wearing a light sweater and tights. They are just warm enough to keep the slight breeze from giving you chills, but also keep your legs from sticking to the plastic seats.

For such an expensive school to go to you’d think they’d have better assembly furniture.

You notice a news camera off in the distance and suddenly understand the empty front seats. No one wants to publicly embarrass themselves on national television from seeing the prince, rewindable and replayable, forever seared into the internet.

It’s times like these you’re happy you’ve never been one to get starstruck. They’re all just people, why be shocked or surprised when they exist near you?

Opening up your books on your lap, you figure you can kill the next ten minutes in a productive way, considering what happened to your original plans for the mid morning.

And as you do, you feel the seats around you begin to fill, not a single one empty by the time the event starts.  Not even the ones up front.

A jerked movement catches your eyes and you see that two seats closer to the pedestal from Yuri is Adaline.

Great.

Adaline Dupree is basically a princess from the Eastern Shores. ‘Basically’ because she’s not, but she certainly acts like she is. A fake princess, an even bigger royalty hunter than your best friend and your not so secret arch nemesis.

She’s in your fine arts classes—all of them, unfortunately—her proper title being ‘Duchess of…’ some province you never bothered to learn the name of, and she’s one of the most well known people on campus.

Tall, with beautiful blonde hair, hazel eyes, freckles, a slim figure and quite the socialite. You’re surprised she went into fine arts and not modeling. She’s got the ego part of the job down pat.

Good for her for being pretty. But anyone could be beautiful on the outside with enough money and a surgeon. That’s not why you considered her your nemesis, you don’t give a shit about any of that.

She was your nemesis in the academic world. Because not only was she beautiful, she was also brilliant at her craft.

Which happened to also be your craft, and it pissed you off to no end.

Where you were first, she was second and where she was first, you were second. Always neck in neck with one another, always trying to one up each other.

You only considered yourself better than her because unlike her, you hoped at least, Adaline was a complete and total bitch. She took what she wanted without remorse and she wasn’t above sabotage to get it.

You learned that the hard way in your first year. And you’ve always wondered if that was her privileged upbringing speaking or if she’s just like that naturally, so unused to not getting what she wanted that she’d take it.

Therefore, it is of absolutely no shock to you that she’s sitting as close as she possibly can to where the prince will be standing. Directly in front of the pedestal at the base of the fountain in the center of the courtyard.

A door opens to your right followed by a couple screams, and you can only assume the man of the hour has arrived. A red camera light flicks on in your peripheral vision and you take that as your confirmation and cue to close your books.

The Dean of Schools, a few advisor looking people, a good handful of terrifyingly large security guards, and a head of black hair you conclude to be the prince all make their way towards their destination.

A smirk graces your face at all the girls batting eyelashes or screaming his name, as if that would get his attention. You’re about to mention that exact thought to Yuri, but you notice her eyelashes looking awfully similar to those around you and can’t help failing to stifle a laugh.

She catches it. “What?”

“Nothing,” you say. “You might just want to pick your jaw up off the ground.”

Her response gets cut off when a voice comes over the speakers.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for such a warm welcome,” says the Dean, calm and assured. She knew exactly the welcome they'd receive. “I’ll keep my introduction short. Today, I present to you not only the newest addition to The Royal Academy of Business and Fine Arts, but the future King of our great nation. He has requested to formally address the student body before he starts classes this fall semester, so without further adieu: His Royal Highness, Prince Jeon Jungkook.”

Riigghht. Did you mention he was the prince of the country you’re living in?

Well…he is.

The crowd soars in volume once more, a couple “I love you’s” thrown in for good measure as the prince steps up and you zone out.

From your angle, you can see his whole body from the side, and that even though he’s holding cue cards, he doesn’t use them, placing them face down on the pedestal.

His dark hair is swept back in a suave styling and he’s wearing a simple navy long sleeve button up, black dress pants and matching leather shoes.

The outfit makes him look ever so princely and very much not like a student. More like one of the faculty.

However, what you don’t expect are the small patches of ink on his arm peeking out of his right sleeve. Or just how tight the clothes he wears are on his apparently very muscular form.

You remember Yuri’s words from earlier, only now registering. You knew he had muscles, no one ever shut up about them. But seeing them in person… wow.

You kind of want to sketch him—for anatomy practice, of course.

The prince begins his address to the crowd and an eerie silence replaces the roars from earlier. You take a quick look around and notice that not one person isn’t completely transfixed on him. Even the dean can’t keep her eyes off him.

You give him credit for not balking under the intense gazes of literally everyone. You know you sure as hell would have, never being one to like being the center of attention. At least, not like this.

You clue into his speech as you look back at him. He’s talking about how he found himself as a teenager thinking of what he wanted his future to look like and what he wanted to do with his schooling, which is not only why he took a couple years to explore the continent before enrolling, but why he will be doing a major and a minor at the school.

One for his career, and one for his heart.

You won’t admit to yourself that the sentiment very closely resonates with you.

He continues.

“All that said, I asked to address you all today for one very simple reason, being that, for my time here at the academy, I wish to be treated like any other student. I am not unaware of my celebrity and how I am seen to the outside world. It is not lost on me my place in the world and who I am to become. I know for some that it may be… difficult to see me for anything other than who I am, and this is why I ask you humbly, just for the short while that I’m here, you all treat me no differently than you already do one another,” he pauses for a moment. “I extend my request most deeply to those who will be studying alongside me in my business administration major and photography minor, as I don’t want it to affect my studies.”

Yuri slaps her hand down onto your leg causing you to jerk forward and you clamor to not drop any of your books. Business administration is her major. Her parents want her to take over the family biz after school.

That was probably why she partied so much. Living as much as she can before being thrust into a job she doesn’t want for the rest of her life.

Pity creeps back up your throat at the thought.

Jungkook notices your jerking movement, but only for a second. His eyes meet yours and you hope yours convey ‘sorry for interrupting’.

You may not care about him, but just like him you are not unaware of his status in the world outside the walls of your school.

Yuri, of course, thinks he’s looking at her and not only does her grip on your leg tighten to the point of circulation cut off, she returns to her earlier routine of batting her eyelashes.

You roll your eyes away from her sight, but unbeknownst to you, well within the gaze of Jungkook.

He suppresses a smile at your response to your friend's clear attempts to gain his attention.

You, on the other hand, seem indifferent to him. He has the entire student body watching his every move with hawk-like precision, enraptured. Normal, for him.

But you?

You just seem to… not care. Like he wasn’t anyone special. Like the word in front of his name meant nothing.

And if it wasn't the most freeing feeling he’s felt in a long time.

“Thank you so much for your time, and I’ll see you all around campus,” he finishes before stepping down, security wrapping around him again until he’s barely visible. The dean pops up to conclude the gathering but you aren’t paying attention anymore, too busy trying to peel Yuri’s hand off your thigh.

“Yuri, retract the claws please!” you whisper-yell to your friend. And she does in fact, retract instantly.

“Shit, sorry. My brain is running a million miles a minute,” she says as she pinches herself, shaking her head and smiling. “I’m three years ahead of him in his major. His major YN! But he’s still older than us, which is so hot. I'm so glad he did that tour in the east and whatever else that kept him back for a couple years, it makes this whole situation even better,” you start to worry at the look in her eye as she continues.

“What if he needs a tutor? What if I become his tutor, and we fall in love like a cliche romance movie. I could be the future queen. YN, this could actually happen for me. I could actually get the prince, it’s not some wild dream anymore. I could talk to him and he would talk back and this could happen.”

You can feel that she’ll just keep spiraling, nothing being able to stop her train of thought at this point, so you try your best to at least have her do her thinking in her head.

“Maybe! I wish you nothing but luck!” And you mean it. You don’t think it will happen the way she does, but you never know. And you don’t want to give her false hope.

You’ve always been the realist to Yuri’s optimist.

With the assembly over, most of the crowd files out of the courtyard quickly, prior plans calling to them or classes starting soon.

Only a few stragglers are left behind. You and Yuri are two of them, as well as Adaline, and a couple more you don’t know.

Security starts to spread out and you watch as Jungkook makes his way to the people farthest from you, much to their delight.

It’s a group of guys, all of whom look muscular enough to be varsity athletes. Maybe Jungkook will want to do sports while he’s here. You know that he’s an accomplished rugby player, greatly to his fathers dismay, but to the pleasure of anyone who has about $10 and has access to magazines or wifi.

“Oh my god he’s making his way over. Do. Not. Move. I want him to come to us,” Yuri says, forcing you to stay in your spot. It would be fruitless to try anything anyway. Another lesson you learned the hard way in first year.

She starts fluffing her hair and asking you to check her teeth. You do. She’s in the clear.

Unfortunately, you two would most likely be the last people he greeted, so you had to watch as he made his way down the line of people.

He greets the guys with a handshake and a clap to the back, and the girls with a kiss to the top of the hand.

One thing you notice as he meets more and more people is that everyone still calls him ‘prince’ or ‘your highness.’

It’s automatic for them, they’re not even thinking twice about it, but it’s also completely besides the point of half of his whole speech. He wanted to be treated like everybody else.

It especially irked you when it was Adaline’s turn and she put on her most feminine, formal, and ridiculously overly flirty, “Hello, Prince Jungkook,” before curtseying, blasting her full facade of charm and courteousness.

Ever the dainty, prim and proper duchess, she’s all small laughs and less than subtle flirting, never impolite, and never speaking out of turn.

You wanted to gag, and you’re quite sure that’s exactly what your face conveyed. But Jungkook smiles wide for her, and is as kind to her as he was to everyone else prior. He even flirts back a little bit.

Yeah, you definitely want to gag. What a match those two would make.

But just as soon as he greets Adaline and her friend, he politely steps away and moves on to you and Yuri.

“Hello ladies, what might your names be?” he asks ever so formally.

You gently laugh at being called a lady and Yuri shoots you a look. Jungkook doesn’t appear to take offense though.

“Hello, your highness!” Yuri chirps in the most ‘I'm trying to flirt but trying to not sound like I’m flirting’ voice you’ve ever heard her use. “My name is Yuri Yeun, and I’m actually a business admin major too, just a few years ahead.”

Jungkook lifts her hand to his mouth, giving it a light kiss and she looks like she’s about to explode.

“It’s lovely to meet you Yuri, I’ll look forward to seeing you around the halls,” he says in the same tone he’s used for everyone else. He’s about to face you, but Yuri cuts in quickly.

“If you ever need any help with your studies, just let me know. I’d be happy to help you with anything you might need help with. Having already been through it, I may be able to give a students insight versus a professors.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for the future. Thank you for your generosity.” Again that same tone, you mentally dub it his ‘greeting the public like the ever so good royal I am’ voice.

He turns to you and extends his hand for yours.

You reach for it, twisting it so that instead of a hand turned upright to be kissed, it’s a regular handshake. If he wanted to be treated like anyone else here, you sure as hell were going to.

“I’m YN, it’s nice to meet you Jungkook.” At the mention of his name untitled, he pauses, eyes widening ever so slightly. It’s not a bad pause, just a surprised one. And by the looks of the small smile on his face, a good one.

Yuri's eyes, on the other hand, almost bug out of her skull at your informal greeting.

“Likewise,” he manages to get out, completely unlike his usually composed self.

You're the only one who hasn’t addressed him with his title, and it’s the most like him he’s ever felt.

Twice in one day—in one hour—you’ve managed to make him feel more human and more like himself than he ever has. With your distinct indifference to him of all things.

Jungkook decides then and there he’s very sure he wants more of it in his life.

He still hasn’t stopped shaking your hand, and you don’t know why that’s the only thing you can focus on. His hand is firm and calloused, the kind that can only be built over years of hard work.

Releasing you the second you think it, he looks as if he hadn’t realized he was still holding on too.

Quick to step back into his princely role, Jungkook says, “Pardon my forwardness, but I just have to say that the two of you are beautiful, and that it’s been lovely to meet you both.”

You swear you see Yuri’s soul ascend from her body at his words. “Thank you, Your Highness! That means so much coming from someone as well met as yourself,” she nearly fawns, and you roll your eyes out of her sight for the second time today.

And for the second time today, Jungkook does not let the gesture go unnoticed. How you hold no fear in showing how you feel in front of others, even those you’ve just met. As if it holds no consequence. 

It doesn’t for you, he realizes. 

You can freely show how you feel without worry of anyone over-analyzing your every facial tic. No fear that a slight misuse of a lip quirk or eyebrow raise could give away national secrets or offend a visiting diplomat.

He envies you for it. For having that freedom he so rarely does.

“You’re most welcome, Yuri. I’m glad you hold my opinion in such high regard.” He flashes her that well practiced bright smile and you already know what she won’t be shutting up about it anytime soon.

“I’ve always been told I have my fathers bone structure but my mothers beauty. I’ll be sure to let them know their Prince thinks the combination is worth complimenting,” you respond, not braggadocious or sarcastic in the slightest.

You know it would make your mom so proud to hear the future king found you pretty, even if you knew the compliment was given to every girl here.

Your father wasn’t in the picture, but that didn’t matter and the prince didn’t need to know.

“I hope they won’t mind a stranger's compliment on their daughter then,” Jungkook says, ducking his head slightly and giving you a smaller smile.

This one felt genuine, like he wanted to hold it back but couldn’t. So you return a small one of your own, to let him know this was an even exchange. You may not feel any type of way about the prince, but you were raised to be kind.

“Any praise for their daughter from the future King would be welcomed any day, I’m sure,” Yuri cuts back in, killing his smile along with it.

You’re sad to see it go.

“I’m relieved to hear it,” he responds, princely public persona back on. Stupid flashy smile back on. “What will you two be heading off to do now?”

“What I wanted to be doing for the last half hour in the first place before being hauled down here by this one,” you point a thumb at Yuri. “Finishing my study hour at the library,” you add quickly, before Yuri can get out her answer. You almost wish you hadn't because the hand that had your thigh in a death grip earlier now only somewhat playfully swats your shoulder.

“YN!”

“What!? I’m just being honest. He wants to be treated like anyone else right? That comes with people being honest to you instead of glazing over their answers with pretty little white lies to appease you.”

Yuri looks ready to rip you a new one, but she’s cut off again before she can open her mouth. This time by the prince.

“No, no it’s okay,” Jungkook says before she can swat you again. She stops mid swing at his words, eyes as wide as saucers at being stopped. “YN’s right, I appreciate the honesty, and I apologize for the interruption. I hope your studies will not be too greatly affected because of it.”

“Guess we’ll find out during midterm season,” you say with a smirk that turns into a genuine smile as you see Jungkook look panicked, like he actually thinks he messed up your education by disturbing your study session.

Relief quickly replaces the panic when he sees your smile and realises it was a joke.

Being treated like a regular person also meant being joked with at their expense, and he takes it in stride as his small smile from earlier makes a comeback.

“Well I have class in half an hour,” Yuri says, finally answering his question, “So probably grabbing a coffee from the cafe near the biz-admin building… I could show you if you want?”

“That sounds great actually, I’m still trying to figure out where everything is.”

“Great! Let’s go.”

Jungkook, ever the gentleman, lifts an arm for her to take and you watch them walk off, Yuri absolutely beaming as she glances back at you. You give her a thumbs up before collecting your books and heading back in the direction of the library.

Chapter Two: Unknown Numbers and Sharp Tongues

A/N 2: and so it begins.

[annoying--moth]

I may have figured out roughly what year Scythe takes place in.

So I got bored in the shower one day and did all the math to figure out when Scythe takes place. Now I am no mathematician, and there's a good chance I missed a detail or two somewhere, plus I did a lot of rounding, but here's what I gathered.

Let's start from the beginning. We know thanks to Scythe Curie's journal that everything sort of started in 2042, and actually I have Scythe Curie to thank for most of the numbers I got for this.

When Scythe Curie is telling Citra about her past with Faraday in the first book, she says that it had been about 50 years since the Thunderhead gained consciousness when she was an apprentice/ordained, so the year then would've been 2092. (This also means she was born in 2075 since she was 17 at the time.) Afterwards, she says that she and Faraday started their "seven years" roughly another 50 years after that, so we can say that that year was 2142, a century after the Thunderhead came about. After that, we know Curaday were in a relationship for 7 years, followed by 70 years of being apart, which places us at 2219. Here we run into a problem, as it's never explicitly stated how long it's been since then (iirc).

However, Scythe Faraday also gives us some help. In the first chapter Faraday states that he's "around 180," so I'm gonna go ahead and say he's 175-185 years old. As you can see, this is the part where we have to make the numbers a bit more vague thanks to lack of detail.

If we do the math, then Scythe Faraday would've been 149 once the 70 years were up, in 2219. If we subtract that from his current age, that puts the year in Scythe (or the year of the Ocelot) as somewhere between 2245-2255.

All this to say that Scythe Alighieri would've been a 2000s-2010s kids and probably WOULD remember the mortal age, so he's either lying about his age or how much he remembers. Or Neal Shusterman just got the timeline a little confused, happens to the best of us

[jonquilyst]

Day 5 - Socialization Day

Most people woke up moderately refreshed and ready to take on the day. However, some others, like Enzo (RB), got up on the wrong side of bed today...

Enzo has become increasingly irritable over the living conditions at the film lost these past few days, but this is the first time he's taken his building frustration out on somebody. He argues with Toni (RB) over her position as the team captain.

However, Paulina (RB) on the other hand is beginning to branch out her social reach and began getting to know Liana (RB)!

Despite tensions on the first day, Hans (IS) and Coffee (IS) managed to find common ground between each other and are now on... let's just say- "fair terms." Coffee doesn't trust Hans entirely, but Hans seems willing to get to know her now that they're teammates. After their loss, Hans is keen on keeping the strongest competitors around and so far Coffee has proved fruitful in Hans' eyes.

Enzo's irritability is temporarily quelled when he scoots up close to Paulina (RB) 👀 These two quite like each other are becoming closer by the day. Enzo loves Paulina's sweetness and Paulina loves his charm and his kindness. Our two nosy-nellies Flo (IS) and Takashi (IS) made sure to witness all the hand-holding and sweet words exchanged between them!

But with Enzo's temper slowly becoming more unstable by the day, will this budding pair hold together? Oof... Even I don't know!

Meanwhile, Ashlee (IS) began interacting with her teammates more today, making friendly chit-chats with Flo and Takashi (you can totally tell she's trying her best to put on the most genuine fake smile for Flo). And later, Ashlee weaved her way to her primary alliance target Hans to show him what she's all about, and it looks like Hans quite liked it!

Neal (RB) decided to take the day off and spend his day alone by the campfire. He was the only contestant to not interact directly with anybody today, but he did share his company with Drew (IS) and Ashlee at the end of the day when they all decided to relax with a book!

Today's Confessional: Flo Harper

"Who knew Takashi was also good at getting the scope on things? With him around, the two of us can dish out all the little secrets the Big-Names are hiding. Enzo and Paulina wasn't the only thing we discovered. We also know that Toni, Liana, and Willabelle are buddying up with each other too. Oh- and those three also like Neal."

"If we beat them again in the next challenge, it's gonna be sooo bad for them. I can't wait to see it!"

@simsinfinitylt @seyvia @bloomingkyras @cowplant-ate-my-sim @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants

@riverofjazzsims @akitasimblr @stargazer-sims @shmoodlet @nakasumi-sims

@witheringscreations

[ace-oreos]

Dar Reads Lady Knight: Ch. 3

Finally back at it! This chapter covers a lot of ground considering it's fairly short, so I will probably have more to say than I did for the first two. As usual, commentary/favorite quotes are below the cut.

Love the Alanna and Neal moment on page 49... the whole "good question, next question" conversation. It would be super cool if we got a little short story of Neal's time as Alanna's squire. I can only imagine what that was like given their personalities.

"He said last night you're a bear for vegetables - Sir Nealan, that is" (pg. 50). Tobe's only been with Kel for a short time and Neal is already teaching him well, haha.

Cleon makes his entrance. I have to be honest, I'm happy with the decision Kel makes re: Cleon. She doesn't feel the same way she once did, and she knows it wouldn't be fair to either of them to try to continue the romance, Cleon's impending marriage aside. I was never a huge fan of Kel/Cleon, but I was glad Kel got to enjoy a healthy relationship while it lasted, considering how some of Alanna's relationships went.

"She didn't want Cleon as a lover now, of that she was sure. There was work to be done. She wanted no lovers until she had settled the Nothing Man's account" (pg 51). Not gonna lie, I really, really like these lines. There is work to be done, and devotion to duty has been the foundation of Kel's philosophy since day one.

I should note that I don't dislike Cleon as a character. He's doing the honorable thing by marrying someone in order to provide for the people he's responsible for as lord of Kennan.

I love the scene when Tobe asks Kel why she's crying, and her explanation: "It's not the war, Tobe. I've been shot at. I can bear it. I'm crying because my friend is unhappy and everything is changing." First of all, relatable. Second, I love the respect that already exists between Tobe and Kel - his first reaction isn't to make fun of her, but to sympathize.

Kel asking Duke Baird how he can still go and do his duty even after seeing the brutality of war firsthand makes me feel things. And his response that all he can do is his best. Ugh. Feels.

Baird asking Kel to keep an eye on Neal if they are assigned to the same post alsdkfj. Kel and Neal friendship 2kforever.

Owen's back! Gotta love Owen. The way he tries to be as formal as Wyldon trained him to be while still being irrepressibly Owen is so funny. What a gremlin.

Poor Kel, being worried that Wyldon doesn't trust her ability as a knight after all. If I were in her position, I'd probably feel the same about the possibility of getting a "safe" assignment. Especially since she knows that people will say she's not cut out to be a knight if she's not out on the front lines.

Kel and Wyldon's dynamic. Amazing. Wyldon has come so far since First Test, and Kel is willing to see that. I think anyone else would hold a grudge against Wyldon for the way he treated Kel if they were in her shoes, but she's willing to see past that.

Kel's going to do her duty if it kills her. This girl. I wish I could properly express what she means to me.

Mistress Fanche makes her entrance when Wyldon is showing Kel the refugees. Considering what she's been through, I don't think it would be fair to dislike her for her attitude.

"[Wyldon]'s happy, she realized, stunned. Training us - that was his duty. But he didn't like it. He's comfortable here, in the dirt and the cold, with people to defend" (pg. 70). I wonder if Kel realizes how similar she and Wyldon are when it comes to duty. She'll do whatever he orders, even if she privately disagrees or dislikes it, but at the end of the day she's happiest when there's hard work to be done.

The Kel and Owen moment at the end of the chapter. Kel's right - Owen is growing up well. They are 100% ride or die, and I am here for it. When Owen says he would do anything to help her, he means it. Kel hasn't had a lot of experience with that so far, what with several of her peers trying to sabotage her during her days as a page, so I imagine Owen's genuine loyalty must mean the world to her.

[killianxswan]

oKAY fine i'll talk about my obsession with 'hook' v 'killian' and 'swan’ v ‘emma' no one asked for this

(basically more thoughts inspired by this post)

let's start with emma. (forgive me if i'm wrong but) we get killian introducing himself by full name to emma and the others, but there's no scene of him finding out her surname. (i would love to see how that conversation goes, and emma's reaction to him starting to use it all the time). anyway, she is primarily referred to as 'emma', 'miss swan', 'the savior' even...but to my recollection never just 'swan' by anyone else. same way emma calls henry 'kid' or rumple calls neal 'bae'.

basically, killian is flirting 101. give a girl a nickname so she knows that you like her. so she knows you refer to her in a way that other don't.

killian is more obvious. most people refer to him by his more colorful moniker; hook. not ! that hook is not a suiting name for him. it's become a part of him and i personally believe it's gone from a name people feared to one used endearingly. but you can see it in his face how much it means to him when she calls him by his name. since i've started paying attention, i can't remember anyone else calling him killian except people he's loved in the past (liam, milah).

'hook' is who he'll always be to everyone else, but killian is the person only some get to see.

here are some examples of when they call each other the opposite that matter to mE:

emma- "you come to me, hook" during the s6 ooc engagement-call-off fiasco

killian- "emma, are you alright?" 5x02 after emma saves robin's life and killian pulls away from the kiss

both are times they feel disconnected from each other.

and!!! the opposite. like the scene mentioned previously in 3x22 where they reunite, they are so happy to see each the rouse flies out the window and they connect instantly.

[softblesses]

Summer Colds.

In which Neal and Elizabeth suffer, and Peter is there to fix it.

Pretty much another classic sick fic of my favourite hyperfixation rn! Please don’t reblog to non kink/whump blogs. Hope you enjoy!

Part 1.

“You’re sick,” Mozzie stated matter of factly, whilst wandering alongside Neal, in the streets of New York.

“I’m fine.” Neal muttered back, rubbing a knuckle under his nose in an attempt to put a stop to the itch.

“You’re not fine! You never sneeze. Like, ever, so unless you can explain the past ten minutes? I’m staying ten steps away, my friend. Ten. Steps. Away.”

“Mozz, you’re being dramatic. It’s nothing, it’s just —“ Neal stopped walking, bringing his elbow to his face. Mozzie was right, but he was hanging on to the small dregs of hope that this was all random and he wasn’t getting sick after all.

‘Heh’kshu!’ The sneezes told a different story.

“Gesundheit. Now, why don’t we do the sensible thing and double back to June’s instead of breakfast? You can go to bed, I’ll get you some medicine and then I’ll make scarce!” Mozzie took a few steps back towards Neal, rolling his eyes at the sound of his cellphone ringing.

He folded his arms, tapping his foot as he listened to his friend speak. “The suit wants you to work?” He questioned, after Neal hung up.

“Elizabeth’s workplace got robbed,” Neal explained, pocketing the phone. “She’s okay, but Peter wants to investigate. Don’t look at me like that, Moz. It’s just a stuffy nose. It’s probably just… allergies, or something.”

“You don’t get any kind of pollen allergies, wise guy.” Mozzie pointed out. “Let me know if El needs my… expertise. I’ll be at breakfast, while you go and tango with the bureau, Sneezy.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you later, Mozzie.” Neal watched him walk away, checking his watch; Peter would be here to pick him up soon.

After almost ten minutes, Peter was parking by the sidewalk and Neal climbed into the back seat; they were picking up Elizabeth, so he naturally assumed she’d go up front.

“Hey, Neal.” Peter greeted, and it was already obvious he was stressed.

“I’m sure Elizabeth is fine,” Neal replied, buckling his seatbelt.

His handler only sighed, driving off again. “I told her to stay home today,” he continued, without acknowledging Neal’s statement.

“Stay home?”

“Yeah… she’s sick, and she already worked from home for a couple days. I just — well, El thinks I’m being too dramatic. It’s just a cold, but, still.”

Ah. That explains how Neal caught what he has. “You worry a lot,” he confirmed. “But, I’m sure Elizabeth appreciates it. She’ll be okay, and I’m sure she’ll work from home tomorrow.”

There was a long pause, before Peter sighed again. They stopped in traffic, and he took a look in the mirror back at Neal. “Maybe you’re right,” he hummed.

“I’m right? Really?”

“Alright, don’t push it.”

“Are you sure you’re not getting sick?” Neal teased, although unbeknownst to Peter he was the one feeling under the weather; Neal’s throat itched, and so did his ears, and he couldn’t breathe through his nose or he’d sniffle and it would make him sneeze again.

“My immune system is top notch, and you know it.” Peter pointed out. “I’m feeling fine.”

“Even when sleeping with Elizabeth?”

Peter shot him a glare in the mirror, and Neal held up his hands. I meant sleeping as in sharing a bed! That’s a sure fire way to get sick.” He scrunches his nose, trying his best to quell the ever growing itch.

“Huh. And, you’d know, wouldn’t you?” The man jested back, falling quiet as they neared their destination.

Neal rolled his eyes at Peter’s comment, but for lack of energy and realisation that he was about to park the car again, he stayed quiet. Peter told him to stay put, and explained that he wasn’t going in as FBI — Elizabeth had a bunch that the lead thief was one of her colleagues. It was an interesting sounding case, but right now the CI was too focused on holding back a sneeze. And, as soon as Peter had closed his car door and stepped away from it, Neal buried his face into his elbow and inhaled sharply.

‘Hh’sSHhu, k—tch’tcH. Ugh. Shit.’ He sighed, making quick work of blowing his nose into the handkerchief in his pocket, placing it back just in time for Peter to open the door for Elizabeth.

“Honey, I promise, I’m fine — hey, Neal — a little shaken up, I guess, but I feel alright! You worry too much.” Elizabeth huffed a little, waiting for her husband to get in the car beside her. She didn’t sound extremely sick, but Neal could definitely hear the congestion in her voice.

Peter climbed in the car, and leaned across to feel El’s forehead. She didn’t look impressed. “I know, I know. I worry too much! We have to take your statement back at the office, is that okay? I’ll work from home after that.”

Neal’s eyebrows raised a little at that.

“You’re coming too, Neal. You’re not getting out of work that easily.” It was like Peter had read his mind. “We can —“

‘hu’tsh, tch, tshh. . Huh’tcHoo.’

“Bless you,” Peter and Neal rang in sync, whilst the agent continued to rub his wife’s back.

“Sorry,” El apologised softly, pocketing her tissue and leaning back in the seat with a heavy sigh.

“It’s okay, Hon. Neal, I’ll explain everything to you when we get to my place. Let’s get this statement over with so we can all relax.” Peter leaned across to kiss El on the cheek, before starting up the car.

•••

The conference room was dark, with the shutters closed and the lights turned off. It was like a welcoming blanket of calm, and immediately Neal felt the ache in his head dissipate a little. He quietly closed the door, glancing over at El, who was sitting on the couch scrolling through her phone, on low brightness mode.

“Neal,” she greeted softly. “Everything okay?”

“Peter sent me to check on you,” it was only a tiny, white lie. “And, I’d much rather sit in here with you. Peter gets grumpy when he’s worried.” Neal muttered, wandering in and closing the door behind him.

Elizabeth watched him for a moment, eyebrows raised. “Really? No other reason?” She questioned, still watching him.

“No other reasons.” Neal took a seat in one of the spinning chairs by the conference room table, and rubbed his eyes. They were almost as itchy as everything else; his nose itched, his ears felt stuffy as well as itchy. . . He was starting to feel worse, and if anyone was going to figure him out, it was Elizabeth Burke.

“Neal, are you okay? You’ve been acting off since we were in the car.” Elizabeth pressed on, and Neal sighed in semi-defeat.

“If I told you I had a headache, would you stop asking?” Neal muttered, trying not to sound agitated, and somewhat failing.

There was a pause, and El coughed slightly. “No. Does your throat hurt?” She continued, and Neal spun a little in his chair.

“Maybe.”

“Stuffy nose?”

“A little.”

“So, you’re sick. I knew it.” Elizabeth muttered.

“Which means, this is my fault,” she concluded next. “I’m sorry, Neal.”

He shook his head, reaching into his pocket for the silk handkerchief he’d been hiding away. He rubbed at his nose, and sniffled; revealing the oncoming congestion he’d been trying so hard to cover up for the past couple of hours. “It’s not your fault,” Neal finally spoke, pocketing the handkerchief.

“Know anyone else with a summer cold?” El quipped back, and he could imagine the look she was currently giving him.

With a heavy sigh, Neal leaned to rest his head against his arms, on the tabletop in front of him. “Elizabeth B — wait, what’s your middle name?” Neal asked, sitting up again and squinting over at her.

“Why?”

“Just.. humour me, just for a second.”

“It’s Laura.”

Neal inhaled, and stood up. “Elizabeth Laura Burke, why are you so irritatingly observant?” He exhaled, sniffling afterwards.

A laugh fell from her lips at that, which proceeded into a cough covered by a fist. “Marrying an FBI agent might have had something to do with it,” she smiled, patting the space next to her. “Neal George Caffrey, you know it’s alright to let your guard down here, hmm?” El’s voice softened, watching him as he sat.

He shifted slightly, and El could tell that he was uncomfortable. Although, the eventual albeit very quiet “I know,” was comforting. “That’s why I told you so easily.” Neal murmured, leaning back against the couch with a shiver.

“And, because whatever meds you dosed up with this morning are starting to wear off?” Elizabeth teased, gently reaching to feel his forehead. A little warm, but nothing alarming.

“Stop being right.” Neal grumbled, before quickly leaning away and burying his face into the crook of his arm.

‘Hu—ngxT. . . HheisHhhoo—ugh.”

“Bless you,” Elizabeth murmured, rummaging around in her purse for a new packet of tissues, and gently nudging him before offering them out.

Neal practically whined, taking a moment to use one of the tissues, before leaning back against the couch with another little shiver. Elizabeth frowned, about to suggest asking Peter to take them home sooner, when the glass door behind them opened.

“Sorry that took so long,” Peter’s voice announced. “Ready to go?”

The CI’s demeanour was quick to change — he sat up straight, cleared his throat and plastered on a signature Neal Caffrey smile in greeting. “Am I still coming?” He questioned nonchalantly, scrunching his nose and trying his absolute best not to sniffle again.

“Yep,” Peter responded. “We’re working from home today. Which means better coffee and some proper rest for El.” He offered out his hand for his wife, who stood and wandered towards him. She took a glance back at Neal, that was wordlessly saying ‘are you going to tell him, or am I?’ But, the CI simply followed behind them, shaking off whatever discomfort he was currently feeling for now.

Seconds after leaving the comfort of the dark room behind them, both Elizabeth and Neal squinted at the harsh lighting that illuminated the bullpen. Barely seconds later, the pair both paused and comedically in sync sneezes caused Peter to stop in his tracks and turn. “Bless y—whoever just sneezed.” He frowned, watching his wife continue to do so, and Neal turn around to put his back to him.

‘Hhh—ngxXt.’ The CI spun back around, sniffling desperately, and faced with a quizzical look from Peter.

“What, you’re sick too, now?” He questioned, folding his arms.

Neal shook his head. “The lights are too bright, Peter. You should really get someone to — snf — fix that.” He straightened himself up, and glanced sideways at El, who didn’t seem all that pleased with the holdup.

“Right,” Peter muttered, gesturing for the pair to follow him again.

“You wouldn’t understand. Having striking blue eyes isn’t all fun and games,” Neal continued, ignoring the look he got from Elizabeth beside him. He didn’t want to tell Peter he felt lousy, not yet. It was awkward, and he wasn’t used to being so open about vulnerability… besides, he just needed some more meds and he’d be fine to work the case.

On the elevator ride back down, El wrapped her arms around Peter and rested her head against his chest. It was obvious that her meds were wearing off too, although all Neal could do was uncomfortably shift on his feet until they reached the parking garage. He shivered, rubbing his eyes again, and followed Peter and El to the car in silence. Even when sitting in the back, he was uncharacteristically quiet, and at this point Peter wasn’t very convinced that his excuses earlier were true… because, a quiet Neal Caffrey was always something to be suspicious of.

When they got back, El told Neal to wait upstairs and she’d find him something comfortable to wear. Peter waited until the CI was out of earshot, before turning to his wife with a questioning expression. He led her into the living room, bringing her into his arms and waiting a moment before speaking.

“El,” he began. “What’s wrong with Neal?” He figured that if Neal was going to tell anyone, it would probably be El.

His wife faltered, looking up at him with a slightly guilty look. “Why would he tell me?” She replied, resting her head back against Peter’s chest with a congested sigh.

“Because you’re Elizabeth Burke — kind, soft, warm and caring. I can imagine Neal would talk to you, given the right circumstances… you were alone, maybe his guard was down.”

“Well, I kinda guessed. He eventually told the truth.” Elizabeth admitted. “I feel awful about it. I didn’t want to get anyone sick.”

Peter pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Speaking of awful, how are you feeling now?” He asked, leaning back to look at her.

“A little less than awful.”

“But, not great?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “D’you still need me to help with anything in the case?” She asked quietly.

“All I need for you to do is go and change into something comfortable and lie down. We can talk work later, once you’ve rested. I’ll come check on you in a half hour… I guess I should check on Neal too, huh?”

“I’ll check on him before I go to bed. I love you.”

[ncisladaily]

Why is Sam (LL COOL J) in Hawai’i? That’s the mystery that’s been set up across the first three episodes of NCIS: Hawai’i Season3, and as Vanessa Lachey told us, “Tennant will figure it out.” Well, we’re certainly seeing her trying to do just that.

It all began in the premiere, when Ernie (Jason Antoon) tried to get anything out of Sam, only to come to the conclusion that he’s hiding something, despite the agent’s insistence he’s not. Then, in the second episode, Swift (Henry Ian Cusick), on his way out, told Tennant that Sam was sticking around and she’d have to ask him why. Sam evaded the question and would only say that brass has him teaching a seminar on unconventional tactics in modern law enforcement.

Now, in the third episode, Ernie remains suspicious of Sam, especially since he’s going around telling everyone about that seminar, as he notes to Tennant. It’s odd, that NCIS would send its top OSP agent to Hawai’i to teach a class. She agrees, but she doesn’t get anything more out of Sam, who tells her she can’t attend the seminar because it’s fully booked.

Then, Tennant and Kai (Alex Tarrant) find Sam has taken over the war room—and set it to SCIF (sensitive compartmented information facility) level—for some work. “I was checking in with Kensi and Deeks back in LA, getting some details about a past case,” he claims, agreeing, when she suggests it, that it was for his seminar. “Safety first,” he says. Tennant’s clearly not buying any of it … which is why she tracks his visitor ID’s access and follows when he sets foot in the old admin basement across the street that hasn’t been used since WWII. Inside, she finds him teaching his seminar. It’s both as frustrating as Tennant finds it and entertaining as it sounds. But come on, would you expect this to play out any other way?

Karen Neal/CBS

At the end of the episode, Tennant joins Sam on his boat, and he again pretends he’s just in Hawai’i for the seminar. As far as an official cover goes, it’s a good one, she remarks, reminding him, “I spent half my life as a CIA officer. I know cover.” It doesn’t matter what she believes, she adds, just that she trusts him and she knows he’ll tell her why he’s really in Hawai’i when he can.

But we’re not as patient as Tennant is. Now, we have to wonder if Sam was really talking to Kensi and Deeks (played by Daniela Ruah and Eric Christian Olsen on NCIS: Los Angeles, which ended its 14-season run in May 2023) or someone else, plus if it was about a past case or something else. Before he came to the island, Sam was last seen in the LA finale in Morocco, alongside Callen (Chris O’Donnell), Nell (Renée Felice Smith), and the team she’d put together—including Nate (Peter Cambor) and Sabatino (Erik Palladino)—as part of the mission to rescue Hetty. He was still there and therefore in the neighborhood, when he came to Tennant and Kate’s (Tori Anderson) aid in the Hawai’i Season 2 finale.

Could Sam have been talking to Kensi and Deeks or someone from that team Nell put together about Hetty? We haven’t heard anything about that mission to rescue her. What if Sam’s in Hawai’i because that’s the only place to get information as to her location or something that will help there? Or maybe there’s another open case that Sam’s working and he was talking to Kensi and Deeks about that. It could even technically be a past case that was never closed and therefore he wasn’t technically lying to Tennant and Kai. This could be why LL COOL J was vague when we tried to find out if we’d get an update on any of the LA characters with him now on Hawai’i.

Whatever’s going on, at least it’s clear that we will get answers, with Ernie suspicious and Tennant letting Sam know that he can talk to her when he can. What do you think is going on? Let us know in the comments below.

[statustemporary]

and we'll put on a show

SUMMARY: “I get everyone else doesn’t want to go back, I get it. It’s nice being together and having the comfortable mattress and soft pillows and literal palace. But, actually, no, you know what unsettles me the most about being here?” she rants one day while she paces her bed chambers. Hook casually lays on the chaise lounge under the window, spearing grapes with his hook before sliding them off with his mouth, a sight that becomes more and more dangerous the more she sees it. His shirt is unbuttoned to a staggering degree and his chest hair is more of a distraction than she ever thought such a thing could be.

“Ogres? Flying monkeys? Genies?” Hook offers without any real thought.

|| Emma didn't mean to alter Pan's curse. She just wanted to keep her family together. The Enchanted Forest is interesting and all, but it would've been great if her alterations kept them together in Storybrooke where there's hot showers and a McDonalds just past the town line.

RATING: Teen

WORD COUNT: 6,572 words

TAGS: Captain Swan, Fluff, Humor

AO3

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this was going to be a quick, fun, ridiculous kind of one-shot and here we are 6k+ later. also, apparently i have 187 different writing styles so i call this one "no backstory necessary".

sorry not sorry for what you're about to read.

heh :)

***

When Pan’s curse was coming and Emma tapped into her deep well of highly untrained, incredibly powerful, and equally chaotic magic, she didn’t know what to expect. All that had been on her mind was staying together – her, Henry, her parents, Regina, Neal, Hook… She didn’t care how it happened or where they were, all she focused on was not being left alone again.

Wish magic, Mother Superior had told her when the smoke dissipated and they were all in the Enchanted Forest. Wish magic is already powerful but paired with your magic, and the wish magic in your heart, it is something I’ve never seen before.

The prospect was daunting. As if being the Savior wasn’t enough, every time she turned around, she had more power than before and even less of a mind on how to use it.

It would’ve been nice if her magic worked well enough to keep them in Storybrooke with hot showers and cars and food already meal prepped. Instead she’s back to chomping on chimera when she’d kill for a bear claw or some Pringles.

“I get everyone else doesn’t want to go back, I get it. It’s nice being together and having the comfortable mattress and soft pillows and literal palace. But, actually, no, you know what unsettles me the most about being here?” she rants one day while she paces her bed chambers. Hook casually lays on the chaise lounge under the window, spearing grapes with his hook before sliding them off with his mouth, a sight that becomes more and more dangerous the more she sees it. His shirt is unbuttoned to a staggering degree and his chest hair is more of a distraction than she ever thought such a thing could be.

“Ogres? Flying monkeys? Genies?” Hook offers without any real thought.

“Wait. Genies are real too?!”

“Is there anything about this realm that doesn’t surprise you, Swan?”

Emma groans and stomps over to her bed, falling back onto it and letting her legs dangle off the side. Her trousers ride up her backside in the most uncomfortable way but she’s too focused on her frustration to bother fixing it. The clothes in the Enchanted Forest are surprisingly soft and durable with even more flexibility than she’s used to. But she misses jeans and sometimes she wants to wear a nice heel that makes her ass look great and gives her an extra two inches of height. The ball gowns are definitely not her thing, at least not the first fifteen dresses that resembled more puff balls than evening wear. The red dress that her mother pulled out for her though – that is an exception.

“Ugh, what really pisses me off is I’ll never know if the last Game of Thrones book ever gets finished and I’ll never know if Derek dies and I won’t get to watch the new Star Wars trilogy with Henry.”

Hook sits up, eyebrows raised high. “Who is Derek?”

Emma groans again and covers her face with her hands. “I can’t even complain to you because you don’t know.”

“It would be helpful if you explained it to me, love.”

His words are soft and gentle and the verbal equivalent of him offering a hand to stand up. It makes her shiver in a way that reminds her of when she was in middle school and Zackary Theed kissed her behind the bleachers when they should’ve been running the mile. The excitement of something so innocent and sweet.

Leaning up on her elbows, she catches the quick glance of Hook’s eyes on the sliver of stomach her shirt exposes with her movements. When his eyes meet hers a moment later, he smirks but holds back the usual heat, giving her his undivided attention.

The dynamic between herself and Hook has been… interesting, to say the least. Especially with the entirety of Storybrooke’s impromptu return to the Enchanted Forest. Her parents, as much as she loves them – because she is accepting that she’s starting to love them – are overwhelming. They’re trying to be comforting and supportive but they’re so excited to finally live this life with her that they’ve always imagined. They’ve talked of balls and suitors and learning to rule when all Emma wants is a nap and some alcohol.

Henry is taking everything in stride, happier than he’s ever been in all the time she’s known him. Not only does he have both moms in the same palace but he also has his dad, a whole stable of horses to choose from, and archery and sword fighting lessons are part of his curriculum now. All in all, it’s every kid’s fantasy come to life and he hasn’t thought once about Storybrooke.

Emma wishes she could say the same but she didn’t grow up here. This isn’t who she is and finding a happy medium to settle at gets more and more exhausting by the day.

She spent her first week in the castle putting her feelers out and trying to gauge the reaction to the town’s sudden relocation. While some townspeople missed the conveniences of Storybrooke, many of them were happy to be home.

Hook kept himself sparce during that first week. Not only did he want to give Emma time with her family and to begin to acclimate but he also needed to find his ship. She wasn’t sure if he’d come back once he got it. His confession in the Echo Caves and their exchange at the town line laid heavy on her mind and played in circles when she tried to sleep the first few nights. He had been honest from the start and never pushed her to reciprocate his feelings. Feelings which, though he might not believe it, are there.

But the pirate spent centuries on the sea and she doesn’t know, when it comes down to the sea or her, who the more satisfying temptress is.

It was during Hook’s absence that stretched from one week to three that Emma accepted her feelings for him ran deeper than pure attraction. She’d find herself in meetings with the council, looking around for his face only to not find it. A comment would slip just under her breath and his resulting chuckle was nowhere to be found. Loneliness crept over her shoulders like a rolling fog.

Everyone else here had… someone. And once again, Emma did not. Henry bounced around between all his parents and was doted on endlessly by everyone, and her parents divided their time with her and their many duties. Even the friends she made in Storybrooke didn’t feel like they were still hers as they fell back into the roles of councilors and advisors for the crown.

Then Hook came back after three weeks with his ship in the harbor and a bottle of spiced rum from a far-off land for them to share in secret and she felt the loneliness ebb away bit by bit. Rum wasn’t the only thing he returned with. No, he had bundles of fabrics and clothes from the far reaches of the realm and trinkets like seashells for her and Henry to use to replace their cell phones.

He promised her at the town line with a curse coming for them that a day wouldn’t go by that he didn’t think of her. The curse never came but the promise stayed true, his acquisitions showed.

Even now, as they lounge in her bed chambers in the high tower of the castle, his attention remains solely on her. The thought makes her cheeks warm and his gaze, when she meets it, churns a longing low in her stomach.

“Derek is from a television show called Grey’s Anatomy and it’s been rumored he might die this season but I’ve been so far behind that I don’t even know if he did and now I never will!” she groans. The lid has been lifted and now she can’t stop even as she watches Killian’s eyebrows rise higher and higher. “The new Star Wars movie coming out this year was supposed to be a special thing for me and Henry to do together and now we can’t even do that! We used to watch Brooklyn 99 and Law & Order: SVU and reruns of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air together because those were our things but now we don’t have a thing! How do I compete with sword fighting and horses and freaking Robin Hood?!”

“You can always bring the lad to the beanstalk.”

She bites back the urge to say the beanstalk is theirs and instead shakes her head. “I want something we can do where one of the potential risks isn’t plummeting to our deaths.”

Killian smirks and stabs another grape. “I did prevent your fall, love.”

Not quite, she thinks to herself before the thought immediately overwhelms her and she feels her walls reinforcing themselves. She likes Killian, like-likes him and all that grade school crush stuff. But she doesn’t love the guy. Their friendship is still on new ground having only become allies in Neverland. And that kiss…

That kiss is as indescribable now as it was then and her hand twitches in an ache to touch her lips at the memory.

Attraction and chemistry burning red hot is what exists between them. But love? No way.

Emma sits up as straight as the walls she’s reassembled around her heart. “You also hit me in the head with your hook.”

“You survived, didn’t you?”

I might not.

“The point is, while this move to the Enchanted Forest is great and all, we all get to be a…” she struggles to find the right word. Family should be easy to say but she’s still struggling on that front. Mary Margaret and David still don’t quite understand but they’re trying. She’s just not there yet. Emma swallows. “A unit. But this wasn’t my life and I just miss some of that stuff from the real world.”

Killian pauses in his grape escapade and eyes her carefully. “The world is just as real here as it was in your realm.”

Emma sighs and rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Would you have stayed?” he asks after a moment of silence. “If you had the choice between Storybrooke and the Enchanted Forest – would you have stayed in Storybrooke?”

“What does it matter?” she says. “I didn’t have a choice.”

His tone edges on sad but he tries to keep it neutral, interested. “Humor an old pirate.”

“I don’t know, okay? There’s a lot that answer depends on.”

Hook eyes her. “What does it depend on?”

“A lot of things!” she fights back. He presses the question again and Emma erupts from her spot on the bed, angry that he won’t let this go, and starts to pace. “Things like where Henry would be, where my parents would be, where you –”

She cuts herself off fast, eyes wide and heart pounding through her chest. Hook stands slowly from his spot on the chaise and licks his lips in anticipation.

“Emma –”

“Mom!”

Henry comes barreling in the open door of her bedroom like a force of nature. Hair windswept and toothy grin on his face, Emma’s always glad to see her son so joyful but especially now when his appearance offers her an escape. “Hey, kid. What’s got you so happy?” She smiles softly at him while ignoring the holes Hook burns into the side of her head.

“I want to show you what Grandma taught me during archery today. It’s so cool, you have no idea.” It’s easy to agree to her son’s request and she moves to follow him out the door when he stops and turns to her companion. “Hook, do you want to check it out too? I bet you probably haven’t seen this in the last 300 years.”

The pirate in question must read the panic on Emma’s face and smiles sadly at Henry, coming close enough to drop his hand on the kid’s shoulder. “Unfortunately I have some business to attend to but if you don’t mind, I’d like to watch another day.”

“Aye, aye, capt’n!” Henry grins, salute and all, before he tugs Emma’s hand out the door. “Come on, we’re losing daylight and you won’t be able to see it in the dark!”

She feels the ghost of Hook’s fingers brushing her arm but she doesn’t look back.

*

Emma skillfully avoids Hook for just over two weeks. In all honesty, he might even be avoiding her with how little she’s seen him around the palace. Then again, she’s thrown herself wholeheartedly into learning her parents’ duties for the kingdom.

But then his ship is gone from the harbor and David has suddenly taken up Mary Margaret’s pastime of sending birds with notes so all evidence points to him leaving. Not that she blames him, no, after all, everyone leaves her eventually. Their relationship is confusing enough for her, she can only imagine he’s gotten fed up with her walls stacking themselves higher with every step forward.

Still, she thought his words before the curse would’ve lasted a little longer than this.

Loneliness sneaks up on her quick but this time she welcomes it with open arms. She has no right to Hook’s heart, not when she keeps pushing him away and hurting him. No sane man would stick around for more of that torture. No sane man has that kind of patience.

Then again, he did stay alive for over 300 years to exact vengeance on his enemy.

Nevertheless, the chaise in her bedchambers stays empty and all she has to rely on is the memories of his mouth fitting perfectly against hers in Neverland and how his breath puffed against her cheek and the absolute fuckstruck expression on his face as he was ready to dive in for more before she put a stop to it. His innuendos and never-ending confidence in her abilities echo inside her mind in the silence of her room and his presence haunts the halls as she leaves enough space to her left for where he would’ve walked.

The first time she lays eyes on him after she ran out of her room is nearly four weeks later and she only catches a glimpse of him from afar.

His ship isn’t in the harbor, that much she knows. Her bedchambers have the perfect set of windows to overlook the water and she’d lie if anyone asked but her morning routine has consisted of checking each ship docked below.

That doesn’t have to mean much, she rationalizes. His ship could be out in the water and he took a dingy to shore so he could make an easy getaway. Afterall, he did leave on the Jolly Roger four weeks ago without a single farewell to her.

Whatever the reason for his probable short stint back in Misthaven, David greets him far from spying eyes and listening ears. Even the roll of her wrist and warmth of magic bubbling in her palm does nothing to reveal the secret conversation between the two men as they travel far from the castle.

They don’t return for hours, which piques her interest. One thing she’s learnt about David, especially since coming to the Enchanted Forest, is that dinner is a requirement for all. To miss dinner means you better be sick or dying. So for the man of the hour to miss the meal completely and for Mary Margaret to not raise a single eyebrow at his absence has her mind whirling.

Emma corners David later that night when he sneaks to the kitchens for a midnight snack. Her nerves have been unsettled all evening and she falls back into her typical stakeout habits which includes eating terrible food while lying in wait for her prey. Of course it’s the Enchanted Forest though and junk food consists of a few sweets and maybe bread.

God, she misses McDonalds.

David jumps in fright when he spots her at the prep island in the main kitchen. He smiles tiredly a few moments later, steals some bread, swipes her butter knife, and closes his eyes contently as he eats.

“Are the ogres angry? Are they going to start another war?” she finally blurts out when the wait gets too long and the silence eats at her center. “Did you send Hook to prepare the troops?”

Silence answers her at first. David looks at her in confusion before a deep understanding settles so serenely on his face that Emma’s instinct is to run. Instead, she swallows it down and focuses on the part of her being nagged by Hook’s abrupt absence and silent return recently.

Shaking his head in amusement, David says, “Everything is peaceful here. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“So where did you send Killian?”

“Killian?” David replies, eyebrows raised but his amusement not flagging in the slightest. He looks like he wants to talk, or maybe just tease her about her slip-up, but Emma rolls her eyes in return and speaks before he gets a chance.

“So where did you send Hook?”

“I didn’t send him anywhere.”

She presses, barely able to keep the frustration out of her voice. “Then where did he go?”

The air in the kitchen shifts. There’s a prickling starting on the back of Emma’s neck and her senses go on alert as David gives her his full and undivided attention.

“Since when have you started caring where Killian goes in his free time?”

She fumbles. Her mouth refuses to function and her brain can barely think of a coherent response. “I – I don’t.”

“Mhmm…”

David’s stare bores holes into the side of her head as she darts her gaze elsewhere. She feels like she just got caught lying by her father which… she guesses is accurate on all accounts. Even if the admission is only to herself, her stomach clenches uncomfortably and her throat dries.

When did she start to see Killian – Hook – as someone to care about? Was it when he turned his ship around and brought them to the one place he swore he’d never return to just to help her save her kid? Was it their kiss, hot and heavy under the humid jungle leaves, a magnetic connection that called to each other so strongly it took a herculean effort for her to walk away?

Or maybe it was when they were at the town line and he told her he’d think of her every day and, when her magic decided to do its own thing, he stuck by her side. He never asked for more than what she was willing to give, every day learning more and more about her limits, her likes and dislikes. Instead, they found refuge in one another. For as much time as he spent around royals, first under their command then stealing from their stores, he felt as uncomfortable as she did within the palace walls and the pomp and circumstance surrounding it all.

He suddenly became one of the most important people in her life without her even realizing it and the thought takes her breath away.

David gives her a soft smile before stepping up to her frozen frame, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and pulling her close to press a firm kiss to the top of her head. She allows him without a fight, subconsciously leaning into his warmth and fatherly comfort, closing her eyes briefly. His whispers act as a soothing balm to her broken soul. So many breaks, so much pain. Yet his presence begins to fill the cracks.

“It’ll be fine, Emma. Just talk to him.”

She listens to his words, soaking in her father at her side. For once, it’s not overwhelming or uncomfortable. It almost starts to feel like coming home.

*

Of course, because she’s Emma, she doesn’t actually make an effort to talk to Killian the next day. Or the day after that. The conversation that’ll ensue requires courage she’s struggling to find.

Instead, she watches from windows and around corners as he is friendly with Henry and Neal, strikes up long conversations with Granny and Ruby, and even shares in a secret joke with Leroy, clapping the dwarf on his back as they chuckle and grin at each other.

Everyone but her.

He doesn’t even attempt to look for her, doesn’t make an effort to come by her side even after their eyes connect across the courtyard. He merely turns back to his conversation with Marco while Emma pulls Henry closer to her side and continues their walk along the palace grounds.

She refuses to say that jealousy kicks her in the ass to actually do something but when she sees him four days later with that stupidly attractive smirk on his face being directed at Tinkerbelle before Regina joins their secret meeting, she’s had enough. Since he’s clearly too cowardly to approach her, she’ll pull up her big girl panties and do it herself.

It’s not as if she didn’t already know that she’s been running from her own feelings the entire time. Reality only sets in, however, that she’s just as cowardly when she’s strolling down one of the palace hallways and stops short at the sight of him at the other end.

He looks good.

The black leather duster shines from the sunlight streaming through the palace’s stained-glass windows. His dark hair gleams and looks softer than it felt between her fingers in Neverland. Glowing skin, straight back, confident set of his shoulders. The pirate looks like a model at ease in the middle of a clothing commercial, all carefree and beautiful. She bets that if he grins, big and wide and all his pearly whites showing, a fucking sparkle will appear with a quiet DING! to accompany it like a fucking toothpaste ad.

Un-fucking-fair.

Air leaves her lungs at the sight of him and that causes her a delay in retreating. Too substantial a delay, it seems, as Hook chooses that moment to turn on his Emma Radar and look straight at her. His face lights up and he calls out her last name, looking as if the heavens are personally highlighting him with a pitch perfect song.

Seriously?!

She turns on her heel and makes a hasty retreat. She is so not ready for this conversation. If she can even keep it together enough to not pull on that stupid vest – a deep red color that looks to be made of velvet and probably soft to the touch – to drag the pirate into a nearby closet to kiss or kill him. The jury is still out on that decision.

“Swan!” he calls again, rushing to reach her. The cool metal of his hook encircles her elbow and turns her his way. “I’ve been looking all over for you!” he exclaims, relief in his voice and clear in the way his forehead relaxes.

“Really?” She snorts so unladylike she’s sure both Mary Margaret and Regina would be annoyed if they heard. “Because it seems like you’ve been avoiding me since you came back from who knows where.”

“I –” he starts before sighing. “Not exactly.”

Hmph. So he was avoiding her. The truth tugs at her chest in such a painful way that Emma only barely resists the urge to rub at the area over her silk shirt.

“Whatever, Hook.” Anger wraps around his moniker like a hot iron. He can hear it, the slight drop of his head and the glow fading from his features when it’s said, but he doesn’t allow her to run like she so desperately tries. “What?!” she hisses.

“Just come with me, love. I promise, you can be angry and hate me again after but… just let me show you something.”

Hook has only ever looked so earnest once before and her mouth drops open at seeing the sight again. Blue eyes plead with her as his eyebrows raise in encouragement. Emma feels herself nodding before she realizes what she’s doing and suddenly he’s ushering her down the hallway and towards the wide garden space behind the castle.

“I – I don’t hate you,” she says when the silence gets too much for her. Even when they fought on opposite sides and he annoyed her to hell, she never hated him. The thought he could believe such a thing unsettles her to the core. “Just because I’m upset with you doesn’t mean I hate you.”

“Your anger is well deserved. My apologies, love.” He shakes his head, pulling them to a stop before they enter the gardens. Ocean blue eyes stare into her meadow green and her breath hitches as he comes closer. The torches that line the hallway dim as her focus zeroes in on Hook. It’s been a struggle in the past keeping her eyes off of his mouth whenever he deemed personal space to be a nonentity. But this time his gaze keeps her locked in and she doesn’t even dare to blink. “Consider this part of my apology,” he whispers. “Your heart’s desire, Swan. That’s all I want.”

He steps away before she even comprehends the enormity of his statement and pulls her into the gardens.

The wide expanse of grass is freshly trimmed, the smell filling her nostrils and reminding her of summers at foster homes wishing for a family to laze around a backyard with. The flowers and plants that border the gardens are in full bloom offering an array of colors. Red roses, yellow shrubbery, pink Middlemist flowers. She’s been in the gardens a number of times since their latest return to the Enchanted Forest but now the colors seem brighter and more vibrant.

Hook gently presses his namesake to the middle of her back. Emma’s gaze shifts forward at the touch and she chokes out a gasp.

Down the center of the gardens sits a newly built wooden stage. Wide and made of a dark mahogany that sheens under the sunlight, it takes up nearly the entire width of the flat grassy area. Deep red curtains are pulled across the front of it, hiding whatever stands on the stage. They rustle slightly from movement behind it and Emma lets out a soft giggle at the sound of Hook cursing under his breath beside her.

Six rows of chairs divided down the middle face the stage and she recognizes many of the occupants to be folks working within the castle, or the Misthaven townspeople she used to see in passing around Storybrooke. They all greet her with a smile and nod as Emma is guided to a chair in the first row with a nearly center view of the stage.

“What is going on?” she asks Hook as he stands beside her seat. Her head turns on a swivel looking for a hint of what kind of performance they’re about to see.

“Patience is a virtue, love.”

“Seriously?!” she nearly whines, earning a chuckle in response. She huffs, eyeing him with a small upward tilt of her lips before she looks away.

Chatter is quiet behind her but there’s an excitement thrumming in the air. Voices whisper from the stage but they’re too soft for her to listen for any familiar inflections. Instead, she examines the corners of the stage and the gaps in the curtain that appear every few moments.

Her eyes are still soaking in everything around her when Hook drops his duster on the chair beside hers and grins mischievously at her. “Back in a moment.” He winks at her, slow and smooth and so unlike his terrible attempt when they climbed the beanstalk. She bites her lip to keep the grin from exploding on her face.

Hook stands on the wings of the stage with her father as they whisper in a tight huddle. The two of them duck behind the curtain for a moment before Hook exits and strolls back to her side, taking the seat he reserved for himself. Before Emma can fire off her questions, David emerges from between the curtains.

She watches in awe at how her father captures the attention of the crowd, how he spreads his thanks to Marco and Pinocchio for the stage and scenery, to Jaq, Gus, and Blue for the costuming. He leads into enthusiastic applause with each announcement and she finds herself just as enthralled as the rest of the crowd.

“Finally,” David says and Hook tenses beside her. “You all may know him as Captain Hook but I know him as a friend. None of this would be possible without him.” Her father looks at Emma for a long moment before he looks to Hook and she looks on in confusion as tears build in his gaze. “Killian Jones,” he says through heavy emotion and her companion shifts uncomfortably beside her. “I thank you.”

David steps aside and the curtains pull away to show the stage. It looks like a replica of Storybrooke General Hospital but a large banner hung centerstage says Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. The entire set reminds her of Grey’s Anatomy.

And that’s when it hits her. David’s words finally sink in and Emma turns to Hook – Killian – in shock. He avoids her eyes, raising his hook to gently scratch behind his ear as he looks up at the stage from a lowered gaze.

Leroy stomps on stage talking about an urgent medical case and Granny joins him a few moments later. The two of them bicker back and forth in a way that borders on flirty, their voices sounding far away and drifting into her ear, leaving Emma confused for all of a few moments before it’s revealed that they play Derek and Meredith respectively. She probably would’ve laughed at the casting – she never would’ve pegged Leroy for McDreamy but he’s honestly incredible on stage – but her focus is set on the man beside her who organized a fucking theatre troupe so she wouldn’t be left wondering about one of her favorite shows.

“Don’t make all my hard work go to waste, love,” he mumbles, cheeks red as he glances at her before quickly averting his gaze again. He nudges at her thigh with his hook and nods towards the stage. Emma doesn’t even realize her mouth is still hanging open until she tries to swallow and finds her throat dry.

With little else to do, she turns her attention to the stage and is immediately wrapped up in the story they’re telling. It’s clear that someone within the troupe is a hardcore Grey’s Anatomy fan and was clearly all caught up on the show while she fell behind due to Neverland. The mannerisms, the dramatics, the dialogue – all of it makes her feel like she’s actually watching it.

The forty-five-minute performance goes by in a flash and she’s amongst the loudest cheers when the troupe takes their bows. Her grin is wide and it’s nearly impossible to take her attention away from the stage.

Until Killian sticks his fingers in his mouth to give a loud whistle and Emma can look at nothing but him.

The ruthless pirate who has continually proved her wrong. The scoundrel who came back to help her get Henry even if it meant returning to Neverland. The lost soul who promised to think of her every day they were apart, even if that meant forever. The man who listened to her frivolous whining and delivered her all she had wanted for and more.

Killian tries to stay behind to speak with the troupe about some matter or another but Emma grabs him by the hook and pulls him to an alcove in the garden hidden by prying eyes.

“Swan, what’s – ”

She backs herself into the alcove, pulls on his vest, and crashes her lips against his, effectively stopping his sentence. Emma feels his sharp intake of breath before he sighs into the kiss, hand coming up to cradle her head against the stone of the palace. Their mouths move over each other slowly, stroking the heat in their stomachs to a blazing inferno.

When Emma pulls away, they breathe heavily in each other’s space, swaying closer together as their eyes remain shut.

“Thank you,” she whispers, biting on her swollen lip when she finally opens her eyes. His are still shut, a small smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.

“I quite like the way we show gratitude.” He cracks an eye open and grins, her own smile widening to match his.

*

Suddenly they’re courting.

Instead of Netflix & Chill, they have Storybrooke Storytellers & Garden Make-outs. A date night at the movies is equivalent to sitting in the garden as her family reenacts the original Star Wars trilogy, her parents as Han and Leia, Henry proudly swinging a lightsaber as Luke, and Neal fittingly as Darth Vader.

Killian whispers tidbits in her ear during each performance, like how Leroy and Granny fought over who was correct regarding one of their Grey’s Anatomy performances, Leroy winning at the end. “He’s got the bloody show memorized, love. Knows the whole thing front and back. Absolutely obsessed.”

Or how Henry assigned everyone’s roles for Star Wars and how it was unanimously decided that Whale would be the dead victim for their recent rendition of Law & Order: SVU, or even how Killian’s curious about the romantic comedies that Belle has brought to his attention. “The lad wants to do everyone’s fairytales as well,” he says, grin pressed against the back of her neck one afternoon. She laughs at the ridiculous image her son’s aspirations create for her, her soul feeling lighter with every moment.

It’s a little bit of the home she created in Storybrooke, right here in the Enchanted Forest. For a girl who’s searched for that all her life, it makes Emma’s heart race ahead of every performance they watch. No one has ever done something like that for her before and she tells him as much through tears one evening as they look at the stars from her balcony. He holds her close, murmuring sweet nothings into her hair and Emma realizes she wants to give him everything.

“Let’s go to the Jolly,” she says. Her head rests on his chest from their stargazing and she feels him tense under her. Eyebrows pinched together in uncertainty, she tilts her head up to look at him. “If that’s okay with you?”

He shifts uncomfortably, not at all in the way she wants him to be, and her confusion mounts. “There’s no need to go to the Jolly,” he answers with a tight grin.

She rolls her eyes, sitting up from her spot and steadies her focus on him. She says point blank, “I am not having sex with you under the same roof as my parents.” Killian sputters and Emma enjoys rendering him speechless for all of two seconds before doubt creeps in. “Do you not want to?”

At her hesitancy, he surges up to capture her mouth in a kiss that takes her breath away and leaves her dizzy. “There’s nothing more I would like to do right now than take you as you are, wherever you desire.” A growl comes from low in her throat as she threads her fingers in his hair and nips at his bottom lip. She whispers again for him to take her to the Jolly Roger only for Killian to halt everything and pull away with a grimace.

“Killian, what’s going on with you?”

Her pirate ducks his head low to his chest before he gathers the courage to meet her gaze.

“The Jolly Roger is no longer in my possession,” he confesses. A low swoop in her stomach causes her to fumble forward in her haste to press against his side. There’s pain in his eyes, the telltale sign of loss and grief that she knows so well. But it’s small and non-consuming, like a detail of life he just lives with now.

“Did someone destroy her?” she asks after a moment, her touch cautious and her gaze searching. Killian shakes his head.

“No, I – I traded her away.”

Her body is suddenly made of concrete, refusing to move despite her mind screaming at her legs to stop Killian’s restless motions. “Wh-what? Why would you do that?!”

Killian smiles softly then. The pain is miniscule but present even as his gaze softens and he reaches his hand out to cup her cheek. “Your heart’s desire, love. That’s all I want.”

*

Despite the late hour, the moon shines high in the sky and lights their way. Her fingers clutch tightly to his metal appendage, the weight of his admission weighing heavily on her, and she stumbles after him as he leads her to the old farm fields.

The area was abandoned before the Dark Curse, her father told her one time. It suffered from barren soil after years of overuse and needed time to recover. More time than thirty years’ worth offered and yet, as Killian leads them through a gate, the fields are sprawling with greenery. Vines trail along the ground and large leaves the size of their heads sprout so intensely that it’s difficult to see the soil beneath.

“What is all this?” she asks in wonder.

Killian grins and reaches down to pull up the end of one vine, a sparkling, translucent item hanging from it. “Look familiar, love?”

A magic bean glimmers under the moonlight, ripe for the taking. It is just one of what could probably be hundreds if not thousands of beans growing on the vast vines before them.

Amazed, she asks, “How is this even possible?”

She loves this man. Before he even starts to explain everything that’s been happening – taking his ship after their conversation in her bedchambers to trade it with Blackbeard for a magic bean, organizing the troupe to give her what she was missing while they waited for the beans to grow and mature, crafting a way to make the near impossible travel between realms into something as easy as tossing a coin into a fountain – she knows deep in her soul that she loves him.

All consuming, heart racing, fingers thrumming, glowing kind of love.

“Perhaps you can finally show me that Red Lobster you rave about?” he offers cheekily.

Emma huffs out a watery laugh, words abandoning her as she looks around. When her eyes lock on his, she swears he outshines the stars.

“You gave up your ship for me?” she asks quietly, hoping to convey everything she can’t verbalize in the way her hand reaches for his and grips it tight.

You gave up your home for me?

“Aye,” he says, just as simple but just as deeply meaningful, squeezing her hand in return.

You are my home now, Swan.

They come together slowly but the passion igniting between them is stronger than it’s ever been before. Her heart is bursting with so much joy that she could cry and it takes her all to keep the tears at bay, wishing to sink into the kiss forever. Her smile, however, is another story and so is his, as they grin against each other’s mouths more than they kiss.

She loves him and he loves her.

Theirs is the kind of love they write movies and shows about.

Theirs is the kind of love they write fairytales about.

[mccallhero]

okay so i just finished ouat for the first time ever (watched it years ago but stopped in s5b) and i just wanted to ask one question about the finale lmao

(discussions of r*pe, the r*pists on the show, the erasure of graham, and regina's crimes)

first. some context. i absolutely hate what happened to graham's character (being r*ped and then murdered by his r*pist and then the crime never ever ever ever being acknowledged) and it's really really hard for me to like regina's character after that. for the longest time i always told myself it was the writers that didn't actually understand what they were writing, and then once they did, they tried to ignore it and sweep it under the rug because that wasn't their intention for regina's character

for example, with the other two r*pists on the show (there's arguments for a lot more, but these ones are confirmed in the canon), zelena and mother gothel are both treated as villains (regina actually calls zelena out for the r*pe, telling her she 'deceived robin in the most vile way possible,' which is another reason i thought the writers were trying to kinda retcon what regina did to graham once they realized what they had actually written). zelena eventually does get her 'redemption' (kinda. the only person who ever treats her well is regina. we just stop seeing zelena with other characters. the only exceptions really in s7 are wish!killian, robyn, and chad and they all don't know about her true crimes), which is something i hate, but again, zelena and mother gothel (for the majority of their characters) are treated as villains, which is genuinely why i thought for over a decade now that the writers realized they made an oopsie with regina and graham and just ignored it

however. then i watch the season 7 finale

and regina's getting crowned the good queen which. okay. interesting take i guess (love or hate regina's character, she burned down entire villages, who the hell is voting for her???). and then regina, the good queen, supposedly forgiven and redeemed for all her past evil deeds, gets to give a speech. in fact, the last speech that's ever given on ouat, the last words ever spoken on the show is this speech

she starts off by saying: 'i thought my story came to an end a long time ago, and then new people came into my life... people who gave me a second chance. i can't wait to see what's in store for me next. well, for everyone'

and then with this speech, as it continues, there's a lovely little montage to give us a reminder of the journey that was ouat and all of the characters along the way

regina says: 'i refuse to believe there won't be more adventures' and we see the jolly roger, charming on horseback, rumple in the heroes and villains au on horseback (interesting choice), grumpy being hatched, jiminy cricket, pinnochio and gepetto being swallowed by a whale, regina casting the dark curse over snow and charming's dying body (.......), emma freeing merlin from the tree, elsa using magic, ursula and maleficent tussling, monkey!walsh, rumple being bitch slapped by a bear, belle being attacked by fire-doggie!phillip, snow hitting charming with a rock, and cruella's stank breath

these are all, so far, decent choices. some are a little iffy but, for the most part, just moments reminding us of everything that's happened

and then regina says 'more love' and we see outlaw queen, snowing, swan believer, phillip and aurora, rumbelle, henry and violet, cinderella and her guy (shawn?), jasmine and aladdin, snowing again

this one's a little more questionable (just like. where is captain swan? and why is swan believer here when everything else is romantic love? did someone mix it up? idk. not the point but still)

'more family' and we see snowing and baby emma, emma and baby henry, the heroes in s2 walking together, snowing and neal, gepetto and pinnochio, henry smiling, and the last supper ouat version

this one's fine. i think including gepetto and pinnochio there is kinda funny when it could be replaced by any other scene of the actual main family (regina and henry maybe???????????????)

and then. finally. why i am making this textpost

regina says 'and yes, there will be more loss'

and. okay. we see robin dying, robin's funeral, regina at her father's grave, and then ???????????????????????????? for SOME REASON they show GRAHAM DYING????????????????????????????????

and at this point i don't care what else they show because regina's then saying 'because that's just a part of life' and i am just wondering. HOW. after SEVEN SEASON. did ouat think that was a good idea

and it genuinely makes me feel nauseous because yes, he is a forgotten victim, he was controlled and r*ped and murdered and nobody ever found out about it and, in fact, he is rarely ever even remembered (emma wearing his shoelace was such a fucking blessing to know at least ONE PERSON cared about him after he had died. that he at least wasn't forgotten by her) but for YEARS i thought it was just ouat being ouat and trying to ignore their mistakes because addressing them would make regina truly unforgiveable

but then. regina. in her final act of being truly redeemed, switched completely from the evil queen to the good queen, her crimes being forgiven by her victims and everyone electing her to be queen (WERE THERE NO OTHER CANDIDATES?), regina reminds us of the crime that she never ever told anyone about, the crime that she will be taking to her grave, and we see graham dying (because she r*ped and then murdered him)

and it just feels so so so wrong. ESPECIALLY. especially. ESPECIALLY after season seven, where we're forced to watch rogers be taunted by his r*pist, the knowledge of her crime being unknown to him (she taunts wish!killian too when he does know), and that entire plot is sickening and heartbreaking but that's what it's supposed to be. like one of the biggest plots of the season was about a r*pist taunting her victim and destroying his life and making him miserable and being the cause of his death (gothel poisoned wish!killian's heart, regina crushed graham's, wow ouat sure does love their parallels). never once are we expected to be on gothel's side and literally everyone on the show hates her besides characters she is also manipulating (ivy and anastasia). so how are they going to have that be one of the main plots of the season (if not the main plot, considering it's why rumple dies and killian/alice/gothel have the most backstory eps out of any other plotline) and then do this?

how are they going to give regina her redemption and then remind us of graham's death, arguably one of her worst crimes that is kept secret from everyone on the show? she took his heart and then commanded him to her bed chamber and then created a curse where they had a sexual relationship despite graham being miserable every single day and never wanting or feeling anything because oh yeah she stole his heart and controls him. and then she killed him when she couldn't control him any longer

and now she's the good queen, getting her second chance? ('second' chance. okay ouat. sure)

how are they going to forgive regina for her crimes while reminding us, the audience, that nobody even knows about graham?

[ouatsqincorrect]

After Emma and Henry are sent away because of Pan's curse, and the rest are all taken back to the EF, we see that Regina's obviously upset about it all (the sleeping curse, burying her heart, etc.) . I believe that after not putting herself under the sleeping curse, she spends the next year going through emotional hell. (I'm talking sleepless nights, dreams of reuniting with Emma and Henry only to wake up and realise that she's still in the EF, distraught over missing Henry's birthday for the first time etcetera...). But from all of this heartbreak, she forms a bond with Snow and David, on a far more deeper level than what their relationship already was. The three of them all know how absolutely heartbreaking it feels to give up your child, and because of this, the Charmings spend the year helping Regina through the pain.

This is just a headcanon of mine/me asking you for your own thoughts to add on to this, if you have any. In what other ways does Regina suffer from the loss of Emma and Henry? How are Snow and David there for Regina?

oh anon I’m so glad you asked this. it’s one of my favorite things about them

we see in the actual show that regina’s relationship with snow and david changes immensely during that missing year in the EF. even without their memories, there’s this striking difference between how they acted around each other before pan’s curse and after. and honestly, I don’t think this was an accident. I think somewhere, deep in their consciousnesses, they were aware that the days of fighting and being angry about the past between them were over

and it’s because the instant emma and henry crossed that town line, the three of them were the only family they had left. it’s why regina agreed to go with them back to the castle, and it’s why snow stopped regina from burying her own heart in the woods, and it’s probably why it was just…easier to forgive and move on, you know? why ruin the only family you have left?

plus, you’re right. now they all had something in common: they had each lost a child. and besides neal, they were the only ones around who had experienced that kind of thing so recently

the difference between them though, was that snow could lean on david and vice versa. but regina had to say goodbye to emma too. the person she wanted to lean on was long gone

(regina’s pain during that year is what made snow and david realize she had fallen for emma)

one of them would walk past regina’s room at night, and she’d be calling out for henry and emma in her sleep. sometimes, if it didn’t seem like she was in pain, they’d let her sleep through it. but there were nights when she’d be almost screaming, and snow would go in, carefully wake her up, and hold her until she fell back asleep (when david found her like that, he’d go and get snow. he already begun to have some suspicions about regina’s past, and definitely didn’t want to trigger anything while she was barely awake)

about a month in, david found regina asleep on a chaise, empty potion bottles all around showing she had clearly been trying to figure out a way back (something they caught her ruminating over pretty often) and he picked her up, carried her to her room, and tucked her in. it was the first time he felt truly worried that she wouldn’t be able to move past this (snow had been worried since the beginning)

when henry’s birthday came around, regina locked herself in her room. snow made her some dinner and put it outside the door in hopes that she would eat something. and later on, after spending the entire day by herself, regina knocked on snow and david’s door and ended up crying in their arms for a good thirty minutes

they didn’t talk about this when they finally got their memories back, and they don’t talk about it until years later, after emma and regina are together, and regina feels the need to thank them because who knows if she’d still be here if she hadn’t had snow and david during that year

regina says in the show that the reason she found to keep going was destroying zelena, but I don’t think for a second that that was it. snow and david were, without a doubt, her reason to keep going

[jonquilyst]

Day 11 - Socialization Day

It's another socialization day! This morning Flo (IS) and Takashi (IS) spent their breakfast laughing at each other's jokes. These two get along swimmingly and are pretty close now!

But I'm sure you're wondering about Paulina (IS), who joined the Illustrious Star-Shines yesterday night. Well, the Star-Shines pretty much welcomed her with open arms. Drew (IS) is thrilled to have her newest friend now on the same team as her, and it seems Paulina feels the same way! Takashi is also excited to have a new member on the team.

Meanwhile, it was movie day for the Big-Names girls! They forgot all about the competition and joked around together like regular teenaged girls. They had a blast!

Later, all the members of the Illustrious Star-Shines (minus Takashi as he may have stayed up too late last night and needed a nap) met for a semi-official team meeting so they can get to know Paulina better (for once they're all sitting at the right table). Pretty much everyone on the team is excited to have another strong competitor on their team! Everyone notes Paulina's past challenge performances and they become confident they can dominate team against the Big-Names with Paulina on their side.

Paulina, feeling a little betrayed by the Big-Names, decides to spill the beans on the solid 3-way alliance between Liana, Toni, and Willabelle as well as their close plus-one Neal to Coffee, citing their close camaraderie as the reason she was voted out of the team.

At the end of the day, after everyone was asleep, I caught these two interacting with each other for the first time! Takashi and Neal (RB) had a good long talk before I forced them both to go to bed since there's a challenge tomorrow.

Today's Confessional: Takashi Abbottsford

"Man, what were the Big-Names thinking when they eliminated Paulina? She's like- one of their best players! I mean- I lost to her during the last challenge! And they decided to eliminate her anyway? Talk about unfair. But now that she's on our team, we have the chance to be unstoppable! I already know that Liana, Toni, and Willabelle are in some kind of alliance, and all 3 of them really like Neal too, so now that Paulina is on our team they're all gonna have to start eliminating each other... Maybe if they just eliminated people based on how well they did in a challenge they wouldn't have this problem! I don't know... I just think it sucks to be them."

@akitasimblr @stargazer-sims @witheringscreations @cowplant-ate-my-sim @simsinfinitylt

@invisiblequeen @bloomingkyras @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants @riverofjazzsims @nakasumi-sims

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Season 2 Rewatch Drabbles--2x14 Manhattan

Summary:  A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my   rewatch of season 2 of Once Upon a Time as an attempt to finally jump   start the muse again.  There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a   “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season.    Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an   emphasis on the very beginnings of Captain Swan’s epic love story, as   soon as a certain dashing pirate makes his appearance.  

Word Count: 482

Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (15) (16) (17) (17.5) (18) (19) (20) (21-22) (22)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Note: After watching this episode again, I once again have the strongest urge to force Neal to walk barefoot across a room full of legos and rusty nails. The following fic shows you exactly why.

“I get it,” Neal said with a patronizing smirk, “we’re all messed up. Let’s just try not to pass that on to Henry, okay?”

Emma nodded and dropped her eyes, emotionally collapsing in on herself as she watched him climb out onto the fire escape to talk to their son.  Suddenly she felt small, unimportant, petty.  Suddenly she was that unloved, emotionally stunted seventeen year old again.

For years after her arrest she’d hoped and dreamed of the moment she’d see Neal again, hoped he’d come back for her, hoped there was some reasonable explanation for why he’d left her, why he’d set her up for his crimes.

But as the years passed without even a word from him, that hope had died.  She decided she really should thank him.  He’d taught her a valuable lesson: that you’ve got to look out for yourself, never let anyone in.  She’d built the walls that had protected her for the past decade, and she was stronger for it.

So imagine her shock when she’d successfully run down Gold’s long lost son this afternoon, only to discover that son was Neal.

She’d wanted to hate him on sight; wanted to throw in his face how much he’d hurt her, wanted to at least show him she was over him, over it all, but she couldn’t.  As soon as she saw him, she realized she’d never stopped loving him.  She’d never gotten closure, and so, she’d never moved past being that lonely seventeen year old who’d wanted so desperately to be loved that she’d soaked up every scrap of affection Neal gave her like the parched ground when it finally got rain.

Emma had agreed to have a drink with him, finally asking him for the truth.  When he gave it to her, she wished he hadn’t.

“Did you know who I was when we met?” 

“If I had, I wouldn’t have gone near you.”

“You left me and let me go to prison because Pinocchio told you to?”

She’d left, her heart shattered all over again.

And then he’d returned to his apartment, and everything had hit the fan.  She’d had to come clean to Henry about his father, and the betrayal in her kids’ eyes had nearly destroyed her.  She knew what this kind of betrayal felt like, and she was damn well NOT going to let Neal further hurt her boy.

She’d tried to stand up to Neal, tried to show him one last time how much he’d hurt her, tried to give him one last chance to apologize–or at least explain, but what she’d gotten instead was condescension and a chiding about being petty with regard to their son.

Maybe Neal was right.  Maybe she still was nothing more than that unloved teenager who’d never be worth a damn as a girlfriend, as a mother, or even as a human being.

                                                                               NEXT CHAPTER-->

[mystical-flute]

Fleeting Lullaby: Swanfire Week Day 1

Also on AO3

Prompt: Emma and Neal playing on the swings at a small playground that nobody goes to anymore.

Summary: Neal is acting strange. Emma is determined to find out why.

Crestview Park was perhaps the saddest excuse for a park Emma had ever seen. One of the slides was ripped from the playscape it had once been attached to, a worrying gap separating the two. The climbing structures were missing a few rungs on each one, and the coils on the spring toys for younger children were rusted from lack of care.

Even the picnic wooden picnic tables were splinter traps, parts of the wood so sharp they looked like the splinters could penetrate even her heavy jacket.

The worst part of the park was the litter. Not just litter from food, but she could see cigarette butts among other things used for drugs. It was no wonder no one was here, and, frankly, she was very confused as to why Neal would want to bring her here. Even though they weren’t exactly rolling in money, they had been trying to stay away from the sketchy areas of town.

He’d been acting strange anyway, since he’d told her about his wanted poster and how he had to leave. She, of course, had refused to leave him behind, and they had a plan to get the watches, even if he had taken some convincing to let her go with him.

So what was the big deal?

He led her to the one part of the park that didn’t look like it would blow over at a small gust of wind - the swings, and took a seat on one. She followed, a cup of hot chocolate in her hands.

“So… do you want to tell me why you’re so freaked out about this last heist?” she asked with a frown. “You’re scaring me, Neal.”

He heaved out a sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out. I’m just - are you really, really sure you want to do this? Steal the watches and go on the run with me?”

“Of course I’m sure, Neal. All I want is you, and our future together if we can fence those watches.” She had a bunch of fantasies in her head about what they’d do with the money, despite her mind telling her not to get her hopes up, and she was starting to think this was why she never should have in the first place.

Neal nodded slowly. “Okay, okay. That’s what I want too, I swear. I just… got confronted with my past and I felt a little overwhelmed.”

“The wanted poster, I know. I said I was fine coming with you for a reason.”

“I don’t mean that, Emma. Last night while you were looking at a map of the station, someone who knows my dad found me.”

His dad? Oh, that was another matter entirely. Neal didn’t talk about his dad much, but Emma did know that he was apparently an awful human being who Neal felt the need to run away from when he was only thirteen, so the fact that someone his dad knew had found Neal… well, it concerned her, to say the least.

“I see. What did he tell you?”

Neal looked like he was struggling to figure out what he was going to say as he rocked forward and back on the swing. “He… said that my father is in need of help. That there is someone very bad after him and only I can save him, or something.”

Emma blinked in confusion, then began to laugh, also beginning to swing. “You’re kidding, right? Why would you want to help your dad after he forced you to run away from home?”

He pulled a face. “I don’t know. He probably made a bad deal with someone.” The words were bitter, holding a much deeper meaning than Emma could understand, and she frowned a little

“I guess that means you don’t want anything to do with him, right? So you’re not going to go help him.” It would be stupid of him to do so, wouldn’t it? His dad was a terrible person…

“I don’t know,” Neal said. “It’s like I said before… once you find a place that feels like home, you miss it. If my dad is in trouble, I want to help.”

She couldn’t say she understood his reasoning at all, given what she had heard about him, but she loved Neal, so she nodded. “Okay, then we’ll go together and help him.”

“What? Emma, are you sure?” he questioned, his eyes wide.

“I didn’t leave when I found out you stole those watches and you had a wanted poster. I’m not leaving you because your dad is an asshole. Besides, you might need help, and how else are you going to show him that you’re better without him?”

Neal tilted his head back and laughed. “Yeah, I guess so. Alright, if you’re sure. After we fence the watches in Canada, we’ll go to Storybrooke together.”

Emma hummed as they stood up. “Well, it’s not Tallahassee, but at least I’ll be with you.”

[ouatsnark]

CORRECTION! Regina got the Walmart villain-to-hero Redemption Story

Welcome to another round of “what the hell did that Regina apologist just say?” where I go over a fan submitted biased piece of drivel and rip it point by point! And yes, I do know it’s fan submitted and is indeed from an Evil Regal as I had a shouting match with them on twitter.

I think my favorite part is where this fan says Regina was noble for not regretting anything because of Henry. That is some serious code for “everyone else’s lives don’t matter when it comes to a hot female character that committed mass murder, rape and child abuse!” Well done!

Also I apologize for how many times I use “child abuse” and “rape” and “mass murder”. But, hey, this is what Once Upon a Time gave us! It’s not my fault the villain rapist stans refuse to acknowledge that their favorites are just utter garbage.

In my opinion, their argument boils down to: Despite Regina & Hook both witnessing deaths of loved ones and committing the same acts of evil, the show explored Regina's evil past more thoroughly than Hook’s but Regina’s reasons for turning evil made more sense than Hook’s. And ultimately Regina’s redemption means more because she reached the point of no return multiple times but a love for a child made her fight harder to be a better person and look forward to a promising future. A parent-child love is the only way for a villain to find a valid redemption because unconditional love only exists between parent-child.

But feel free to read the entire post to see for yourself: Killian Jones was a Walmart version of Regina Mills

My Argument: Yes, Regina & Hook share similarities but only Killian Jones received a complete redemption. A parent-child love is not the only way to show a villain’s change of heart since we very much saw a true change in Killian Jones. We also saw that Killian’s love for Emma was unconditional. True love is unconditional love and the show gives us several true love couples whose love for each other was in fact unconditional. OUAT gave us two true love tests that prove Emma & Killian are true love and goes further by deliberately paralleling them with Snowing & The Princess Bride. Killian also shows unconditional love for Emma by how he handles finding out Neal is alive and stepping aside to give Henry a chance at having his parents together. He also exhibits unconditional love by forgiving Emma for turning him into the dark one and accepting her reasons for doing so. He chose to always see the best in her and her in him and that is the foundation of an unconditional love. So the premise that redemption can only happen through parent-child love is a false one and clearly done as a way to reject Killian’s redemption status.

Never mind that Killian Jones did find his path to redemption through the love of a child: Henry. His relationship with Henry was essential in becoming the man he wanted to be since it showed how much Killian had grown from the vengeful pirate Baelfire rejected to the more humble man teaching Henry how to sail. Furthermore, Killian Jones’ redemption is complete and far more relevant because he: owned his mistakes, faced victims, showed remorse, faced consequences for his actions, demonstrated a change of heart and sacrificed his life to rid the world of the darkness forever.

Whereas Regina did not face any victims, blamed others for her actions, did not sacrifice her life (in fact she let Snowing sacrifice for her), never came clean about Graham & Marian’s murders and always whined about her own happiness. She also never had a change of heart as we hear her say she hates doing good (5x23) and even after her redemption she continued to behave like she was better than others by constantly putting them down, dismissing their pain and ignoring their concerns. Also, we should reject the idea of Regina’s redemption happened because of her love for Henry due to the fact that she emotionally abused him by putting her curse and her needs before his welfare and her abuse of him was never addressed but simply brushed away. A fictional character can’t have redemption through someone they abused when that abuse is not acknowledged. That’s not character growth its just a retcon. Regina was retconned into a “good” mother in S3.

Regina vs Killian: Becoming a Villain

Blog Quote: “Despite these similarities, the show explored Regina's evil past more thoroughly than Hook’s”

Basically says Regina’s reasons for turning evil made more sense than Killian’s.

Did it really though? Yes, Regina’s past was tied into the main characters so of course the show “explored” or rather spent more time on her past than Killian’s. Everything she did was to take down Snow and she hurt many other people on that journey. That was pretty much the driving plot on why Emma became the savior.

But lets break the down differences:

Regina lived a privileged life as a princess (head canons of Cora abusing her during childhood is not supported by canon and thereby irrelevant here) who never had to want for anything. She even had a doting father who may have been a pacifist but he at least loved her.

Killian Jones was abandoned by his father who sold him into slavery when he was just a child. That is in fact child abuse. Neglect and abandonment. He was abandoned and left to face whatever cruelty at the hands of slavers. He was raised by them doing back breaking labor. Can you for a moment imagine what that life must have been like for a child?

Their backgrounds could not be anymore different. Which one do you think would be more likely to choose a dark path if we take only canon into consideration? Answer: Killian Jones since his childhood was filled with abuse, abandonment and betrayal. He’d only known evil for so long. Note: this should not be used as a generalization because criminals come from all kinds of backgrounds but statistically speaking odds were not in Killian’s favor.

Blog Quote: They both committed similar acts of evil…

Imagine thinking Killian Jones’ crimes were anywhere near the same level as Regina’s? Look how black Regina’s heart is. What did she do over the course of the series that could have possibly diminished that evil? Nothing. She did NOTHING except do good things EXPECTING to get her happy ending. Then admits in Season 5 that she hated doing it. That is more of an act of an anti-hero than a hero. Which you could argue she is an anti-hero.

So what similar acts of evil do Killian and Regina share?

Each killed one of Emma’s grandfathers

Their own fathers

Abused Belle

Murdered people

Ok so maybe there is some truth to that statement. However.

Regina is the mass murderer.

Regina is the rapist.

Regina is the child abuser and child murderer.

Regina essentially magically raped an entire kingdom in both mind and body. Her curse separated families and had people sleeping with others they wouldn’t have slept with if not for her curse. Basically, Regina’s curse removed their ability to consent much like a date rape drug which is why we say she raped Graham even in Storybrooke and her attempt to seduce David was actually an attempted sexual assault. Her curse was vile. It also gave people memories of two separate lives and the second life was not a happy one!

Jefferson: Then all we’ll do is both sit. Stuck. Two lives in our heads, cursed worse than ever. Two lives, forever at odds. Double the pain, double the suffering.

Most of the people in Storybrooke wanted to flee the bad memories the curse created. And because they were fearful of Regina. But the Evil Queen stans seem to overlook the mental anguish this curse caused people. They now have two lives in their heads and the life Regina forced them to lead is the one life they’re really ashamed of. But that life is now a part of them whether they like it or not.

So Regina filled up her heart with plenty of dark deeds, some so heinous that there really can’t be forgiveness. So trying to put Regina on the same level as Killian is just absurd and erases her more heinous crimes. While Killian Jones should arguably get life in prison… Regina Mills should have faced a firing squad or possibly even burned at the stake.

In short I believe: Killian becoming a villain makes a lot more sense and at least his revenge focused on the root causes for his misery whereas Regina decided to make an innocent child suffer. Regina also decided to take on the very life her mother was supposedly forcing her to take.

Regina vs Killian: a Path to Redemption

Blog Quote: “they both had similar moments of bravery...”

CHANEL VS WALMART Killian stepped up to the plate. Regina stepped back.

I am not going to say that Regina was never brave or didn’t have her moments. But. Come on guys. This was HER MOMENT to prove she was sorry for everything she’d put Snow and her kingdom through and she did not take it!

And lets remember that they had no idea what the serum Evil Queen was planning. For all they knew she was going to kill the Charmings on the spot. Therefore, this moment here knocks about 10 checks off Regina’s bravery/hero column. Especially since she uses her own heart later to defend Zelena against her more evil half.

I have heard others argue before “but Regina had become good by then and already made things right with Snowing and her life was worth more than Snowing’s because of Henry!” However, that’s just nonsense. Regina doesn’t even regret what she did to Snowing nor has she done anything to make up for the horrific things she did to them. She joined their side to get her happy ending not because she was sorry for what she did to them. Also, Snowing had Baby Neal. I guess Henry is more important than Baby Neal? Henry would still have Emma, his real mother, were he to lose Regina, the mother that abused him for 10+ years. And Regina needed to make a sacrifice for her victims (Snowing) and for the greater good (the town) in order to complete a redemption.

Meanwhile, Killian Jones actually sacrifices his life to save them all from the Dark Ones then goes on to be tortured and nearly throne into the River of Lost Souls because he refuses to betray them. Even refuses to betray Gold! This alone adds about 20 checks to his bravery/hero column!

I have heard people say “but this was also cleaning up his mess”! I’m sorry did I misunderstand the part where he said he did not want to become a dark one? I am pretty sure he said he didn’t want to live if it meant becoming a dark one. So I am pretty much going to lay the blame at the feet of the darkness because the darkness was pushing its own agenda. The dark ones were the ones manipulating and using him so they could return. Then Killian had found the strength to break free from their hold and with Emma’s help end the darkness forever. Or would have if not for Gold. So no, this wasn’t his mess. He gave his life to end the mess!

Now a Regina Apologist might say “but Regina was going to sacrifice herself in season 2!”

If Regina didn’t sacrifice herself to stop the kill switch then Henry would die and at that point her perceived happy ending would be gone anyway. Her curse was broken and now the child she illegally adopted and abused was in peril thanks to her actions. This might have been a brave moment but it didn’t happen because she had a change of heart. It was because her plans were thwarted and there wasn’t an alternative solution.

“but she begs to be remembered as Regina and not the evil queen!” - Regina apologists

So? She didn’t want the kid she illegally adopted and abused to see her as the monster she was. It doesn’t mean she wasn’t a monster. It doesn’t mean that moments later she would have let them all die if given the chance.

And just to be fair, I do not count Rumple giving his heart to Fook and destroying Fumple an act of heroism either. Rumple had put Henry in jeopardy for his quest to die and join Belle in the afterlife. We know everything Rumple has ever done, aside from kill his own father, has been an act of selfishness. Therefore, it is my opinion based on his past actions, that if Belle had been alive then it wouldn’t have happened.

Therefore, Killian’s bravery in Season 5 far outweighs anything Regina ever did. And Rumple cancelled out his own act of heroism in S3 by pulling all the crap he did afterwards. All hail the real Once Upon a Time Villain to Hero: Killian Jones!

Blog Quote:: “He was not as bad as Regina - not because she was eviler than him - but because he never got the chance.“

But didn’t this blogger just get done saying their crimes were similar? Never mind the idiocy of this. Imagine applying this to anything else?

“We can’t call this murderer more evil than this violent criminal because this violent criminal just didn’t get the chance to kill anyone like that murderer!” SAY WHAT? You judge them by what they’ve done not on “what they could have done”. Goodness! I swear where do Evil Regals pull this bullshit from?

Killian was 200-300 years old. I think he’d have found “the time” to be “eviler” if he really was. But he wasn’t. We’ve only witnessed a handful of Killian’s murders and some we haven’t seen he openly admits to. If the show wanted us to believe he was as evil as Regina and Rumple then his heart would have been as black as theirs.

Regina was in her late 40’s (https://oncepodcast.com/forums/topic/final-timeline-and-ages/) when the curse broke and her death tole rivaled Rumple’s who is also somewhere between 200-300 years old (Hades, S5). Regina had less time but did more evil on a far grander scale than Killian did in all 300 years of his existence. That alone makes her more evil.

So a little recap: Yes, they both killed their fathers. Yes, they both murdered one of Emma’s grandparents. Yes, their evil deeds were spurred by revenge. If you look at just the surface then the premise that Killian Jones is a male version of Regina Mills may be accurate. But if you look a little further you see there are not only significant differences but that Killian Jones comes out looking a hell of a lot better with a more complete character evolution.

Killian’s Change vs Regina’s

As I briefly mentioned in my opening, this is where the blogger pulls the “child-parent love is the only path to redemption” nonsense. Now, this blogger isn’t the first, or maybe they were the first, but I have heard this sentiment not only from Evil Regals but from the KnightRook fandom as well. Since they believe that Wish Hook abandoning his daughter to go get drunk and plot murder and rape (and none of that ever being addressed) is good enough to make him father of the year and claim his five second redemption complete.

It’s honestly 100% completely false.

The only things you need for a character redemption are:

Taking responsibility for your actions without blaming others

apologizing to your victim

showing a change of heart

learning from your mistakes

remedy the situation if possible

and in the terms of a fictional world where we’re talking about magic, murder and other heinous crimes the villain MUST:

Make a sacrifice for the greater good. That means something beyond the character’s immediate loved ones or something that would benefit them.

All of this can happen without the love of a child. Though I will say, love of some kind usually plays a part.

So between Regina and Killian, which one checked off all or most of this list? Killian Jones.

1. Taking Responsibility for your actions without blaming others

Regina blamed everyone else but herself! In fact, the evil queen becomes a separate entity to blame so Regina can become innocent of all wrong doings and get a happy ending. She may have admitted to “torture and unspeakable things” but the times she outright blames others for her actions without owning up outweighs maybe the two times she mentions it. Especially since when she mentions her deeds its when she’s crying about her happy ending. So, no, I am sorry, Regina never owned her mistakes, never had a moment where she expressed deep regret for her victims and never came to a realization that she really doesn’t deserve anything.

There isn’t a single time throughout the course of this show where Killian blames someone else for what he has done. He owned up to his part in taking Milah away from Rumple and their son. Blames himself for what Gold had him do. He has come clean about where his rings come from. It took him a moment to face his demons but he did come to the realization that he needed to face David. There was the phone call to Emma in s4. He doesn’t even blame Emma for his weakness at being unable to fight the darkness at first. He doesn’t even blame the darkness but his own weakness! There are times he might have been ashamed which is human but he never blames his deeds as if someone else was responsible.

Killian: 1

Regina: 0

2. Apologizing to your Victim

Killian Jones apologized to Ariel, Ursula, Belle, David, and Emma.

Regina’s serum half apologized to Snow but that was after some of the evil had been drained from her heart. And no, I do not count the time Regina apologized to Belle to get Belle to do something for her.

Killian: 2 Regina: 0

3. Remedy the situation

Killian Jones made things right with Ursula and then stood by Belle when she wanted refuge from Rumple. He dedicated time to help saving the fairies after he fell victim to Gold (something he blames himself for and not Gold). He also tried to make things right with Neal though Neal acted like a self-righteous ass just like his father. Sorry pal but he who sends underage girlfriend to jail for your crimes then yells at her when she didn’t immediately tell you you had a son puts you on my “asshole” list! Killian’s other victims were long since gone but we at least know he’d make amends if he could.

Regina still owns a whole vault full of hearts and I am going to once again say she let the Charmings sacrifice for her in S6! Did she ever even do anything for Maleficent? I don’t think she did! And she certainly never helped Belle. Maybe you could count the Season 3 curse she casts but really she had no other choice so I can’t in good conscious give that one to her. Nor the thing at the well in S2 since that was Henry’s doing. Really what did she remedy that wasn’t for her own personal gain?

Killian: 3 Regina: 0

4. Showing a change of heart

We have Killian Jones literally taking pages out of Emma’s book and a whole episode of him talking David out of revenge. He becomes a Dark One with all of this power yet he gives it up and never seeks it again. He is tortured in the Underworld and refuses to even write the name of his life long enemy. Gone are his wise cracks, sexual innuendo and much of his bravado. Past S4a we see a much more humble Killian Jones that is reluctant to even call himself a hero.

Regina does stop murdering people but I can’t give her this one either. Why you might ask? She says so herself that she hates doing good which to me means she has not had a true change of heart. She remains verbally abusive and looks down on others. She may no longer murder you if you tick her off but she does so figuratively with her words and actions.

Killian: 4 Regina: 0

5. Learning from your Mistakes

I think Killian shows that he has with the way he helps Emma and David. When Emma is angry with her parents over keeping the past from her, Killian is able to approach Emma in a way that portrays his familiarity with what they are feeling and knowing how to talk to Emma. Then you have his interactions with David in the S6 episode where David wants revenge on his father. Killian knows where seeking revenge leads you. And we know that he has learned enough to be very uncomfortable about keeping all of this from Emma.

Regina, Regina, Regina. Let me point right to Season 7 when she teaches Ivy dark magic and gives her mother’s evil book to Robyn. Its like she has literally learned nothing. But Regina really hasn’t had to learn from her mistakes because all of her mistakes were either erased (her abuse of Henry) or were blamed on others (Rumple, Snow, the book and the evil queen)

Killian: 5 Regina: 0

6. Making a Sacrifice for the Greater Good

Only Killian Jones sacrificed his life and was tortured to save everyone and the town by ending the darkness forever.

Killian: Hits every point. Regina: fell way behind.

Blog Quote: “Eventually, Regina became motivated to redeem herself because she wanted to. Even if she had nothing, she would still try to do the right thing. “

Why did she want to though? It wasn’t to “do the right thing”. She hated doing the right thing. Her motivation was to keep Henry and to get a happy ending. The moment she sent her lover and his “wife” across the town line she sought out to get what she felt she deserved: her story re-written. She didn’t even pause to consider that she in fact didn’t deserve that at all. And her goal was never to become a better person. It was not to make things right with her victims. It was for herself. This is evident because she keeps her vault of hearts and continues to treat all of the other characters as lesser than her. The character has no growth! Except to “stop murdering”. That was it!

Aside from sending the Hoods across the town line, I can’t think of another moment Regina “tried to do good even when she had nothing”? This blog gave no instances. Does the blogger mean at the town line in S3? When Regina had to or be cursed herself? Don’t care! When else? She didn’t do it when the Charmings were facing her serum half. She didn’t do the right thing in S4 when she was treating Emma like crap and blaming Emma for what she herself caused. So I am at a loss here.

Blog Quote: “we learned that Regina had other reasons for her villainy. One reason for Regina's evil actions developed after she became evil. The bigger villain Regina became, the more hopeless she felt.”

Honestly when? All of this is stated without an ounce of proof. Regina’s only motive was to kill Snow, destroy lives & get her own HEA. That’s it. Regina didn’t want to change. Not until all she had left was Henry and Henry rejected her. Regina straight out denied her evil past was her fault.

DEBUNKING RANDOM TALKING POINTS

aka stuff that isn’t backed up by any kind of evidence whatsoever that I found sprinkled through this article.

EXCUSING CHILD ABUSE

Blog quote: "Furthermore, Regina never regretted the terrible things she did, but for a unique, complex reason. She could not regret anything because she learned how to love again when she adopted her son, Henry."

That’s got the be the biggest puke worthy Regina Exemption Clause ever & it’s not what she said or showed.

Blog Quote: “He is a vital key component to Regina's complexity, demonstrating the lengths mothers go for their children.”

Sooo gaslighting them, isolating them & trying to murder their child’s loved ones is great lengths and a great showing of love? Really? That’s what we’re going with?

Using Fanon to excuse Regina

Blog Quote: “Regina's abuse rounded out her character & helped us understand her more. With Killian, the show writers may as well have never said anything because it barely made a difference.“

Killian was a CHILD SLAVE. Regina grew up a privileged princess. Did Cora abuse 26ish old Regina? Yes. Does that excuse what she became? No. Does that mean she was more developed? No. It doesn't. Regina is in fact not well rounded at all because we're simply told she is redeemed without her ever having to do anything to earn that redemption.

Blog Quote: “we learned that Regina had other reasons for her villainy. One reason for Regina's evil actions developed after she became evil. The bigger villain Regina became, the more hopeless she felt.”

Honestly when? All of this is stated without an ounce of proof. Regina’s only motive was to kill Snow, destroy lives & get her own HEA. That’s it. Regina didn’t want to change. Not until all she had left was Henry and Henry rejected her. Regina straight out denied her evil past was her fault.

USING ALLEGED POPULARITY AS A MEASURING TOOL

Blog Quote: Regina was the highlight of OUAT. Many viewers and critics say that she carried the show on her back

So because some fan wrote some biased drivel on a fan submitted TV “news” site… it’s a fact? Articles from Screen Rant do not reflect the general audience.

Let’s follow with this fact: Regina had the most screen time from S4-S7ep12. The show was cancelled that first half of Season 7. Do the math.

If Regina carried it then she’s responsible for those numbers and could not keep the show afloat once CaptainSwan and Snowing were gone. The show FAILED with her as a lead.

Now maybe if Regina had left and CaptainSwan had stayed the same thing would have happened. But you can’t point to fan biased articles and loud obnoxious twitter users as being representative of live audience views. Did you poll the audience? I think not.

The fact is that CaptainSwan is still being talked about today. Long after the show has ended there are still articles being generated about Emma Swan and Killian Jones both separately and together. Most of these are also fan generated but some aren’t. It is my belief judging by the content we see being produced that general audiences tend to gravitate more towards real heroes like Emma Swan, good hearted pirates like Killian Jones and love stories like CaptainSwan that show how far two people are willing to go for each other. Emma Swan and Killian Jones were a much bigger draw for your average audience viewer than Regina who spent most of the time crying about her own happiness (which is disgusting when you think about the magnitudes of her crimes).

ERROR. ERROR. ERROR.

Blog Quote: He descended into darkness after watching Rumplestiltskin crush Milah's -- his true love -- heart 

I already touched on his descent into darkness but I just had to come back to this glaring error.

I am sorry I missed the part where the show stated Milah was Killian’s true love? Or even Rumple’s?

Daniel wasn’t Regina’s either.

And this right here is probably why you can throw all of their opinions here into the trash. You can’t get that one thing right so what else did you get wrong?

WHO STRUGGLED THE MOSTEST!???

Blog quote: “We never saw him struggle with his choices.”

Yes, yes we did. Season 4 was an entire struggle for him. He also showed regret when he slipped (the phone call to Emma, him trying to free the fairies, his shame over not helping Ariel, regret over keeping the scissors in s6, shame over how he handled finding out he killed David’s father).

When did Regina struggle? Hell, she’d have re-killed Marian if she thought she could’ve gotten away with it! Whenever Regina does something wrong something or someone else always gets the blame for it.

BELIEVABLE? LIKABLE?

Blog Quote: “Regina Mills is a far more believable character than Killian Jones could ever be.“

She is 100% unlikable. She wasn’t believable as a redeemed hero. She never answered for Graham & continued to be a jerk…

This piece spends a whole lot of time on how quickly Killian & Emma fell in love… but makes no mention how fast the Charmings forgave the woman that ruined their lives? And all she had to do to earn that forgiveness was admit she’s a sociopath that didn’t regret anything! How is that believable? It isn't.

GET A NEW ARGUMENT ALREADY THIS ONE HAS BEEN DEBUNKED!

Blog Quote: “Killian admitted that he purposely intoxicates women to sleep with them.”

THAT WAS NEVER SAID! People need to stop inserting words into that moment. Emma didn’t take his line to mean he was a rapist. She didn’t even flinch. Furthermore, drinking with women isn’t a crime!

TOXIC FRIENDSHIP IS THE BESTEST!

Blog Quote: “Hook and Emma would have been a far more satisfying relationship if they had developed their friendship in between, the way Emma and Regina had.”

What friendship? Regina treated Emma like crap! And did this person miss all of S3? Emma calling Killian for help, their adventure to the past … etc. etc.

KILLIAN'S REDEMPTION DOES NOT COUNT BECAUSE IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE ABOUT EMMA

The above occurred during the twitter conversation I had with the person who wrote the hit piece on Killian.

So because you think an arc was supposed to be about Emma you think you can just toss what happened aside? It doesn’t work like that. Whether you like what happened or not it still happened. And that right there is another prime example of why this piece is biased. You can’t toss out facts simply because you don’t like them then write some nonsense and say its all fact based. It clearly isn’t!

After saying everything I’ve said above I leave you with this final thought:

Between Regina and Killian, Killian was the only one to receive a complete redemption arc and possibly the only one that could since Regina’s crimes were beyond heinous. So the fact that the show tried to say she is redeemed without showing her redemption actually makes her the Walmart version of a villain to hero. Why is that? They thought she was too popular to kill off and killing her off was the only way for an unrepentant child abusing mass murdering rapist that never showed remorse or apologized and continued to be a bully gets any kind of redemption. She had to die for the greater good. But she didn’t.

[theladyragnell]

omg ficlet time!! Okay, I saw your Kel/Neal throwaway comment in your tags the other day, and this also hit me on a recent reread - so, if you are amenable, I would adore a canonverse Kel/Neal ficlet, maybe...hot beverages in winter? Fencing? I'm coming up totally blank on content lol. Seeing a play, a la before Cleon's ordeal?

(This is not quite as fluffy as I suspect you were hoping for, but I have a lot of feelings about the Ordeal! So this is an AU of the day before Kel's Ordeal, and I couldn't get them to the kissing point, but it definitely goes that way in the future.)

Neal, everyone he knew would agree, was not very good at hiding his emotions. Neal would contest, of course, that he didn’t bother to try, and that it was the height of boredom to playact like nothing interested or bothered him.

He also knew, as an oldest child who’d once very much been a middle one, that if everyone thought he didn’t bother to hide anything, nobody would catch him when he was. All he had to do was keep the act up, highlight his frustrations and his boredoms and his romances the way everyone expected from him.

Some people saw past it, though in Neal’s opinion, the Sight was cheating and Baron George Cooper and little Alianne should keep their knowing looks to themselves.

Kel always saw through it, possibly by virtue of hiding her emotions through the absolute opposite strategy, and therein lay his current problem.

She, no matter her nerves, had helped him through the day before his Ordeal. He, glorious young knight with many prospects as he may now be, owed her no less. It wasn’t that there was no one else—Sir Raoul and the Own had adopted her so thoroughly that Neal suspected if there weren’t a war coming they would be lobbying to keep her—only that Neal was her best friend, and Neal had both the right and the obligation to make sure she didn’t do so many of her pattern dances that she exhausted herself and fell asleep during her vigil.

Unfortunately, every time Neal thought about his own vigil, and how helpful she’d been before it, he thought about his Ordeal, and after a week, that hadn’t receded into distant nightmare. At odd moments, he was still confronted by the faces of his brothers, accusing him of trying to live up to an example he could never hope to in his vainglory, or by the sympathetic face of the king delivering news about his sister or his parents.

Worst of all, he was all too frequently reminded of the vivid detail of what it felt like to watch Kel die no matter how much healing magic he poured into her. He’d forget it eventually, or at least he hoped so, but at the moment, it was all too vivid, and it made it all the worse that if he were allowed to tell her, she would have called him silly.

And he was silly, he decided, having paced around his room much longer than he cared to admit. He could ignore his worries for a few hours, and drink some tea and find some interesting cultural events in Corus.

When he arrived at her door, full of that conviction, she was in practice clothes and carrying her glaive. “No,” he said, which was much more succinct than he could have been. “No, we are going out to enjoy ourselves. You can continue your relentless pursuit of martial skill on any other day.”

Kel frowned at him. “I need to do something. And I do enjoy this.”

“Yes, you’re truly wonderful at the art of war, but as I said, any other day.” With anyone else, he would remove the weapon from their hands, but he was not at all sure of his ability to break Kel’s grip, and that would be embarrassing and ruin his air of lofty experience. Instead, he resorted to the stern look he’d inherited from the Lioness. “I heard about a tea house.”

“Did you get enough wandering around the city last week?”

Neal rolled his eyes. “That day I needed to be distracted. Today you do. Come on, Mindelan, this bores me.”

Most people, he could wear down, or if they knew him well, they’d give up before he began the process of wearing them down. He hadn’t yet succeeded in changing Kel’s mind when she really dug her heels in, and Neal thought for a moment she might before she sighed. “Hold on five minutes, let me get a few things and change before we go.”

Point won, Neal was happy to sweep a theatrical bow and acquiesce. “I’ll await you with bated breath, Squire Keladry.”

Kel scowled and shut the door, and Neal wandered up and down the corridor while she did whatever she needed to do, and beamed when she came out of her room dressed more for a day in Corus than for one on the practice courts. She held up a hand to forestall him saying anything. “I have to be back in a few hours, I have plans for dinner, but you can distract me if you want to.”

Neal did, in fact, want to, and led the way out of the palace and past the gates into the city. He talked nonsense the whole time, and Kel tolerated it with only intermittent rolls of the eyes when one of his tangents got perhaps too flowery for her taste.

With Shinkokami’s popularity, Yamani teahouses had started popping up in Corus like seedlings, and Neal had badgered Lady Yukimi until she’d told him which was best. (She might, he suspected, have let him badger her forever, if he hadn’t admitted it was for Kel.) When Kel smiled and relaxed her shoulders a little at the sight of it, he knew he’d made the right decision, and shepherded her inside.

While she calmly sipped her tea and Neal gulped most of his the way he did Tortallan teas and immediately regretted it, he nattered away about one thing and another, stories from the four years they’d been mostly apart and gossip about their year-mates. Kel let him do it and just watched him, the way she so often did, in a way that told him he wasn’t doing a good job of hiding what he was doing.

She didn’t ask, and she didn’t ask when, as they left, he caught sight of a holiday puppet show for children set up on the street and dragged her over to watch some of the well-known stories. There was even one about the Lioness, a thing he would never mention to her on pain of death.

She didn’t ask when it became obvious that the day was wearing on and she had other things to prepare for, so Neal was the one who had to finally speak up as they walked back through the city towards the palace gate. “Aren’t you scared?”

“That’s what you’ve been chewing on all day?” she asked, amused. “You just went through it a week ago, Neal, what do you think?”

“It’s hard to tell with you. You think weapons training is fun, you could feel anything about anything and I wouldn’t put it past you.”

Kel laughed and shook her head before lapsing into thoughtfulness as they walked. “I’m scared, yes,” she finally said. “I’ve touched the Chamber door. I have an idea what I’m walking into. But if it thinks I’m not worthy, it will kill me whether or not I’m scared. I don’t want to give it the satisfaction of brooding about it.”

A cold unfeeling nightmare of a room, and Kel didn’t want to give it satisfaction. Neal cracked out a laugh before he could stop himself. “Only you, Kel.”

“Did you ask Merric too, and Seaver?”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s not the same and you know it. You’re my best friend. And I discovered that unlike with most things, this is something where I ended up more scared after than before.”

Kel walked in silence for so long that he almost started talking again, no doubt to say much more than he should, so he was grateful when she interrupted his intake of breath. “You stopped worrying it would kill you and started worrying … well, if it does what it did when I touched the door, it makes other worries very sharp.”

“I don’t worry you’ll be killed by the Chamber. Whatever else I think of it, it had the good taste to kill Joren and do something nasty to Vinson. But everything beyond …”

“Scanra,” Kel said. “We’ll be going north come spring.”

“I want you to promise me you won’t do anything stupid if I’m not there to patch you up.”

Kel squeezed his arm and then dropped her hand to her side again. “I’ll do my duty. But I don’t intend to get killed doing it if I can possibly help it.”

It wasn’t a promise. She only made promises she could keep, and Neal, knowing that and knowing that false comfort wouldn’t help, changed the subject before she could ask him what worries the Chamber had sharpened for him.

The next morning, Neal waited with Kel’s friends and family, musing in his exhaustion that it was lucky Third Company was still in the north because there wouldn’t have been room for anyone else if they’d been in Corus.

Kel didn’t stumble out as so many did, though she staggered as soon as there was support, Raoul stepping forward to look after her before Neal could start throwing elbows around to get there. She looked grim more than frightened, filled with some purpose, and Neal thought back almost eight years, to the sight of a girl barely ten years old picking up a cause that nobody would thank her for taking on, that would win her pain and no glory, and had to force a smile of congratulations onto his face when he finally caught her eye.

It wasn’t until that night, after they’d been presented to the court as new knights of the realm and she’d been given her shield, that he caught her alone. “Is it better or worse now?” he asked.

“Worse,” she said, to his surprise. “But I think it’s going to be better someday. I just have to wait for it to happen.”

“You always take things so philosophically,” he said, but he knew Kel as well as she knew him, and knew he’d have to watch her as closely as duty allowed for a while. “But you can always ask me for help if you’re scared. No use being a lone heroic knight when you have people around to back you up. Especially when those people can heal you.”

Kel frowned before it lightened into a smile. “I’ll think about it,” she promised, and pulled him away to talk to someone else. It wasn’t ideal, but she let him hover for most of the night, so at least it was something.