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luposlipaphobya · 23 days

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« You can say anything your heart is dreaming of,

But don’t call it love,

Call it a longing, call it a yearning

Don’t call it love »

An exclusive piece of an artbook I’m working on with @the-nothing-maker! Don’t Call it Love is the story of two art thieves trying to navigate their feelings for each other. A tale of loneliness, trust and hope. We’ll open preorders by the end of the month 🩵

#dungeons and dragons #coworkers to lovers #val cardinal #art zine #fallen aasimar #we’ve been working on the zine for 3 months now and it’s quite exhausting but we’re getting there!#it was amazing to have the opportunity to create around our dnd campaign #as a DM I feel extrememy blessed everytime I’m making a new dnd zine with my friends #and this one is very special to me because this campaign and Mel and Lazuli have been a huge part of our lives for two years now #and because I’m doing this with Elliot #my art

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goldensunset · 1 month

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while I can't say I've encountered nearly as many Radiant Garden fans as you probably have in order for that to jump to mind, I actually did find myself really agreeing with your take on it. I totally thought I was missing some cutscenes for a while, like maybe I just hadn't seen something that was in the manga or in the DS version of 358/2 days, but no. people actually do just extrapolate off of nothing. and while that's fine for the most part, I never see this level of dedication being put in for female characters. as a huge Aqua fan it's frustrating that she has so many interesting qualities that I'd love to see explored but DON'T because most of the fandom would rather extrapolate from a guy with 4 seconds of screen time than even think about her. unless she's being shipped with Terra, I guess. I think the R.G. folks are just a microcosm of that bigger issue--they'd dig into the earth's fucking mantle looking for gold in an emo boy before digging six feet down for a woman

salt under the cut (i won’t make this a habit i promise)

adjdjcnsnxn that’s an incredible way to put it i might steal that phrasing… see like again i understand the ienzo thing purely from a life situation point of view. if a lil boy was an orphan raised by sketchy weirdos in a lab and then at the ripe old age of 8 had the whole losing-his-heart-and-growing-up-less-than-human-raised-in-a-cult thing. sure i’d want to explore that too! i’d read farther into it than canon. but literally where is the passion for aqua or kairi or skuld etc etc… i mean the girls have their fans but like no one is out here constructing an entire elaborate universe out of them. like i do my best but it’s hard work… but i mean that’s hardly surprising right. that’s how the story goes

honestly ienzo fans don’t even make me mad it’s more like i get annoyed when ppl obsess over like. aeleus and dilan.. because respectfully and i say this with love. there is *nothing* there. they didn’t even bother bringing back their vas in kh3. they are filler. why do all the shifty weirdo radiant garden men draw rabid fans but heaven forbid the ladies get love. hold on *approaches hornet’s nest with a baseball bat* i think there’s something about specifically adult fictional men that- ((i reconsider and stop myself))

but like. people are allowed to do whatever they want idk at worst it’s annoying when they start attacking others over alleged mischaracterization. yes i know in your fun and admittedly interesting fantasy he acts like this. but you cannot get mad when another fan portrays him the way we see him in canon lollllllllll

#but that’s enough negativity. lemme just say: shoutout to the people who DO extrapolate from the girls #kairi fans around these parts are so so cool. give her an inferiority complex!#give her loneliness and guilt so crushing she’ll jump headfirst into any insanity or danger to relieve herself of it!#it isn’t making stuff up it’s just exploring canon further!!#people who make fan works for kairi with genuine love in their hearts NEVERRRRR miss it’s so good #aqua benefitted immensely from 0.2 it’s basically just a character study #like that was exactly what she needed. all that latent crushing weight in bbs being brought up properly #now i wish they’d explore the implications of finally being back in normal reality after having been alone in darkness in warped time #and like the aftereffects of being anti-aqua and plus having had to fight her friends #and coming to terms with the reality that the world has aged 11 years around her but she hasn’t #basically like i want her to have ptsd and dysphoria of sorts #canon is probably too cowardly to take the time to do that so like ig it falls to fans. but i’m happy with what we’ve gotten so far #skuld as subject x fans. celestial trio fans. again they make such amazing work for something that technically isn’t even confirmed yet #asks #dj-of-the-coven

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livvyofthelake · 28 days

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saw a tiktok that was like. Daily Affirmations: my work crush doesn’t like me. and now i’m like wow i wish i could send this directly to all of my new high schooler coworkers. who are all really annoyingly obsessed with our one male manager because he’s The Chill Manager. you may have seen me refer to this man before (it’s different when EYE love him because we are the same age. the high schoolers being obsessed with him is weird as hell and he DOES need to stop encouraging this) back in winterspring i was doing a lot of opening shifts with him and i was joking that we had the king and lionheart dynamic. which was real at the time but not so much the vibe now just because like. the vibe has shifted idk i work different shifts there’s different other managers i’m technically promoted there’s all these new people i don’t care about. the vibe is different. anyway. don’t care for these high schoolers and their obsession with him. especially because they’re like actual assholes sometimes to my friend managers… (they used to just work here and then two managers left and they got promoted) (i also technically got promoted at the same time but they rank above me and do more shit that i don’t want to do so like. obviously i’m not bitter or jealous about it. like if i had to manage a bunch of teenagers that didn’t respect me i might cry every single day) (which is happening to one of them fr. they’re literally such assholes to her sometimes it’s crazy like she’s not even as mean to you people as she should be…) not to side with like. The Man or whatever but unfortunately i’m not a teenager with a part time job i go to when i don’t have soccer practice so i cannot relate to the proletariat in this situation… like i knowww they’re seeing my girl as Bitch Manager and it’s making me hate them soooo bad. like you idiots can’t even fold jeans correctly!! i hate you!!!!

#literally the past three nights i’ve been working overnight with just the 2 friend managers and we’ve been having major bitch sessions #about these high schoolers…. sorry if this makes us bitches!!#maybe if more than 4 of them were literally any good at all at any part of their job we’d hate them less idk…..#like. if they sucked less it would mean i’d have to do less work. like girls work with me here im sick of covering your asses…..#can’t even put things back where they’re supposed to go correctly…#like why am i finding clearly marked clearance jeans mixed in the stack of full price ones…. stop pissing me offfffff omg #sorry again. but the next idiot teenager who asks me where something goes and i look at it and it’s clearly marked as clearance is going to #make me lose my mind for real. yes i do need a different job i know that im aware of this #the problem THERE is that all jobs look awful to me <3 #and there’s genuinely nothing on earth i care enough about to make it a career!#i genuinely need to become a trophy wife and stay at home mom. like there’s no careers for me i fear #i don’t mean that in a ‘submitting to the patriarchy’ way i mean it in a ‘the only thing i’ve consistently known i want in my future for my #entire life has been kids’ way #anyway. having a job where you’re the fifth most in charge person there and third on an average day. makes you evil fr

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cant-get-no-worse · 5 months

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Your writing is always great, I need you to write something to either making us optimistic about the future of the club or to make us realize how much in deep shit we actually are please 😭

Babe, just browse through my La Liga 2022/2023 tag and mourn with me. 💕

#funnily enough I’d say this: we’ve been in deep shit since FOREVER.#the way Barcelona works (ie deep issues within structure and management) goes back DECADES.#we are spectacularly mismanaged and unprofessional on top of having a victim hood complex.#the environment - whether mediatic or politic - surrounding the club is an utter and disfunctional nightmare.#in every club’s environnement there has existed corruption and favouring friends in positions you want them in #but it is especially the case for this club.#needless to say I am not saying all of fcb’s issues stem solely from itself and no exterior factors have ever influenced it.#a historically left wing club / figure head for a region/independentism movement / opposing centralism which controls the league/refs etc.#however as culers we tend to majorly - and rightfully - highlight the latest part without ever daring to question our precious multimil club #both factors (internal and external) have to be taken into account to understand ‘the deep shit’.#that said now. as I’ve said this *is not new*. we’ve had those issues for DECADES and yet this club became what it is today.#we’ve reached highest of highs and lowest of lows while dealing with aforementioned factors.#so my very tired take this evening is to chill out; nothing we can do but watch unfold.#perhaps once again La Masia youngsters and lucky choices of coach will drag us up. perhaps new political president conflict still battling #over cruyff’s heritage or against it will bring forth a good one; perhaps not.#overall a very Chill to us all.#we’re facing greatness and decadence and been on both sides of the coin; and there’s reassurance in knowing in both case we still did great.#this club has been rotting since mid 50s and you just have to roll with it and wait for the cycles to come and go.#anon ask #sorry it doesn’t make much sense rn I’ll talk about it more later. or NOT

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steviescrystals · 2 months

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i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)

#been a minute since i’ve ranted in the tags on here hi hello #so i have this friend who is driving me absolutely insane #we’ve been friends for about a year or so and when we first met we clicked right away and got super close and hung out all the time #we met at work but neither of us works there anymore and it feels like our whole friendship is falling apart now that we don’t #i literally have not seen her in person once since the last time we worked together (march)#and even before that we didn’t hang out outside of work since december of last year #and i have grown very used to having friends that just do not put the same amount of effort as me into our friendships and it’s sucks #so i was starting to make my peace with the fact that we just weren’t really friends anymore #but then a few months ago she started texting me asking me to hang out all the time and she seemed way more like her old self #and immediately i got sucked back in and was all excited to see her again and have her back in my life fully #but she completely flaked on me three times in a row (not even cancelling our plans but waiting until the next day to give me an excuse)#which like i said i’m unfortunately used to but she literally was the one who invited ME to hang out every time #like why are you initiating plans with me and then ignoring my calls and texts when it comes time to actually hang out #then a few weeks ago she texted me again saying we should go to a concert together bc we hadn’t in a long time #and there happens to be a concert i’ve been wanting to go to on the 31st but had no one to go with #she said she was totally in and really excited and i bought the tickets a couple days later and texted her to tell her i had #got zero response for almost a week and then she texted me yesterday saying we should hang out this week #so i said yeah let’s do it but also this concert is literally in 2 days are you still coming with me #and no response! again! so now i have 2 days to try and find someone else who can go last minute bc it seems unlikely that she will #and i’m just so fucking confused bc why do YOU keep reaching out to ME just to flake out at the last minute every single time #like at this point it feels like she’s doing it on purpose just to see if i’ll keep tolerating her bullshit #and part of me wants to just cut her off bc she’s been a terrible friend to me for months at this point #but i can’t bring myself to do it bc i miss her so much anyway and when our friendship was good it was really fucking good #like i considered this girl one of my best friends and now it feels like she’s just playing games with me bc she’s bored #which sucks extra bc last year she was there for me when literally none of my long time friends were #like it’s bad enough that it seems like our friendship was conditional on us being coworkers #but it hurts more and more every time she reappears in my life just to ghost me again like genuinely why would you do that #so i’m really upset and pissed off rn and i have no idea wtf to do about the concert bc idk anyone else who likes the artist enough to go #vent #lj.txt

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willowcrowned · 2 years

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I think when professors hand you back a project with comments they should have to tell you how cool and special and smart you are

#actually this is one of the hills I like to die on #the fact that it’s standard academic practice to hand back papers or projects with only critical comments is—#not insane because I know exactly why it happens and the culture totally encourages it #but I think it’s incredibly detrimental to the skills and self esteem of students (at any level!) if they don’t know what they’re doing well #it’s a twofold punch that encourages imposter syndrome AND keeps the student from being able to develop the good parts of their skills #further #not to mention when it keeps them from being able to leverage those skills consciously to improve their work #and I know professors *can* give positive feedback with the critical stuff because it’s something I’ve been working on with my mom over the #years #she offers to leave comments on my papers a lot of the time #and in recent years as we’ve been having conversations about standard beta practice in fandom vs academic commentary #and the benefits and drawbacks of the tendencies of each system #she’s been working consciously to leave a comment when she thinks I’ve done something well—not just when something needs work #and it’s been SO helpful to know for me #because a lot of the time I use that information while I’m working on the next paper #anyways.#academia #willow’s wastebin tagxon

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strohller27 · 7 months

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.

#I’ve been thinking (and being alone with my thoughts like this is sometimes dangerous but what can ya do)#and like. I think I’ve been trying to make my standards high when it comes to dating to protect myself from getting hurt #which. of course? why wouldn’t I? but like. I think I tried to make my standards impossibly high so that when nobody lived up to them #I could just be like ‘oh! how sad! anyway it’s safer for me to be single because [whatever bullshit reason I can come up with]’#and this does protect me from getting hurt. but it also protects me from good things like. being intimate with someone.#which. if I were to be perfectly honest? that’s the only thing in my life I think I’ve ever really wanted more than anything #but of course I’m scared of that. because being intimate with someone requires opening up to them.#laying yourself bare and hoping they stick around after seeing what you bring to the table.#and like. I feel like I’m the guy who is firmly planted in one of the tails of a normal distribution #(and I��m not talking about the better-than-average part of the distribution if you get what I mean)#so like. I know there probably aren’t a lot of people who would stick around after I took off all my masks and laid myself bare before them #and I haven’t met many people I’d be willing to try that for #but sometimes. someone comes into your life and you feel like you’re ready to risk it all #but you don’t. because being vulnerable is a dangerous place to be. feeling as desperate as I do at times is a dangerous place to be #and so I’m probably not going to risk anything. but. listen like #why.. if my standards are so high.. is there this person in my life capable of meeting all of them.#and why.. when I’m this out of my mind for someone.. do there seem to be so many obstacles between me and them #why do I always fall for the ones who listen to me and show me kindness when I’m fragile.#even when there isn’t a chance in heaven or hell that it’s gonna work out.#why do I often think about how many times we’ve hugged. why do I want to live up to their high opinion of me.#why do I play the things they’ve said to me over and over in my head like a broken record.#why do I always have to obsess about the people I fall for. why can’t I just be normal about this.#like. this is starting to get in the way of my everyday life. it’s occupying my mind most of the time. this can’t be healthy.#in short. why the Fuck am I Like This and How Do I Stop.

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cherrysnax · 1 year

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I think another thing that’s fucking me over art wise is rlly silly

#I love spiderverse #we both do #it’s why SYS! exists but omg there’s so many aspects in atsv that we’ve been working on for years and they just #are in it and it’s like. damn are we just not creative #cause spiderverse has been in the workings for YEAAAARS #but like #part of me feels like teehee if ppl like that they’ll like ours too ^_^#but then there’s the rip off accusations #and the fact that the comics probably not even gonna get made because of me #because I can’t draw anymore

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akkivee · 1 year

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i think it’s still both but it may have started as positive affirmation and as he grew into himself, it became ego 🤔

#this is vee speaking #lol i’ve been wondering if kuukou’s more or less like a success story #he started off depressed asf about something but worked hard to build himself into the guy he wants to be #ichiro and kuukou are written very similarly so it wouldn’t be surprising if they also paralleled #in the way that at the point we the readers see ichiro and kuukou is a version of themselves that’s close to who they want to be #and we find out where they started from as the story progresses #ichiro’s life has three sections i believe???? how he is now ichiro at 14➕ and the before we’ve only seen glimpses of #to parallel maybe kuukou is the same: the way he is now kuukou at 14➕ and a younger kuukou we haven’t seen any glimpses of lmao #if kuukou had something of a botched childhood say between abandonment and training himself #and even leading up to the abandonment #i could see it being a reason kuukou is so gung ho on doing stuff with his friends lol he’s doing the enjoying life part #the samajuto mall date event in arb had samatoki excited to do touristy stuff with juto and he’s the other poster boy of fcked up childhoods #jyushi mentioned in his radio they tend to do tourist attractions when following kuukou’s lead on a day out lol #yeah arb isn’t canon but samatoki and kuukou are very similar people too whether or not kr wants to acknowledge that or not lmao #my musings are about to delve into samatoki kuukou territory which isn’t what this is about lol #but here’s more misc kuukou stuff i’m compartmentalising lol #c: kuukou👑

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pepprs · 2 years

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alt*rnative spr*ng br*ak day 1. i need to be on campus in 3.5 hours. i have packed nothing and have done no laundry. i have not prepared for any of the facilitation i need to do today. i am experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety and burnout ♥️

#this is my first time ever doing an in person asb and also my first time being part of the asb planning process and i am soooooo nervous and #unprepared and overwhelmed. and i volunteered myself as the staff member staying at the hotel making sure no one gets into trouble and #responding to crises / emergencies if they arise and i may be assigning more importance / weight to that role than there actually is given T #that they are all college students and i am less than a year removed from being a college student myself. but i am so nervous i want to #redacted. and i am not prepared for the situations that might arise. at all whatsoever. lollllll #purrs #btw unlike the retreat tag or the conferences im name dropping asb bc like every school has them and a lot of schools have spring break this #week. so i am not doxxing myself 😈 (and i didn’t need to tell u that but im doing it lol. aaaaand post)#delete later #also the amount of stress i have been under lately w work is like. actually insane and we are not getting a break (though i should take one #lol) but after this is over i will have my life back a little bit maybe and i hate to say im looking forward to it so much but i am. i just #want to rest and recover. it’s literaly been nonstop since we were abandoned in july (lol) and i feel so crushed by the weight of everything #we’ve been carrying and how much responsibility i have had to take on in my FIRST YEAR!!!!!!!!! and i would’ve gone crazy if i hadn’t takej #on big responsibilities ofc bc of my mental illness <3 but the impostor syndrome + the relentlessness intensifying every single day are just #so so so heavy to carry. and i can feel my mind and body and heart giving out but i have to keep pushing forward

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slutabed · 2 years

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trying to fall asleep for the last three hours I can confirm: covid fucking SUCKS

#I’m happy I got to see my baby niece this weekend but at what cost :(#my brother texted us today to say like heyyy sorry guys I tested positive for covid #and like. immediately I was like oh that’s why I felt like garbage all day at work #he and I lasted so long without ever getting covid lol he’s a doctor and we’ve both been SO careful but #what are ya gonna do #I’m just bummed I have to miss a week of work #oh and the sickness part that fucking sucks rn too

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edge-oftheworld · 7 days

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one thing I love about following celebrities/artists who are honest and proactive about their mental health struggles etc is I can’t count the number of times someone I know is going through something and I’m like ‘I’ve got a song for u’ and how much of my life involves telling myself ‘if [redacted] can do something/get better/etc then so can i’ (and having actual real evidence of it in front of me) and I can’t understate how much I appreciate these things.

but at the same time it involves a whole lot of watching people I care about suffer and you learn to read the signs and infer between the lines in songs and interviews, and yes we can never fully know what they don’t share with us, but when they do share things it’s not a big stretch to be like ‘this seems like it’s what life is like for you and I have taken encouragement from it but you deserve so much better’. and it’s easy to find ways to get angry at a predatory industry and realise things that could be hurtful if you’re already fragile.

and we can advocate for some things and help ourselves and the people around us feel better but it’s hard to meaningfully reach your faves as an individual. and there are things we can’t say on the internet in too much detail, speculation becomes the harmful kind of gossip, and so sometimes it’s a whole lot of internally saying ‘you’re doing incredibly well to have gotten to where you are but I wish for your sake things would get better faster’