#we're all dumbasses in here

[brewed-pangolin]

Alright, y'all behave yourselves today. I am going into the surgical void.......

Please enjoy my random ass queue for your viewing pleasure. Be back in about, 10 hrs......

[thelurk3r]

we need more weird were-animals. Heck maybe not even just animals. Guy who turns into a fucked up plant humanoid at night.

werewolves are cool but like. We need more variety.

werehuman. They turn into a human but one that looks different enough to not look like them.

[mueritos]

i really think the latino purists are so fucking dumb. a while ago i expressed wanting to reconnect to my indigenous heritage as a mexican person because i believe reconnecting and honoring indigenous ancestry is critical to decolonialism. and what did i get? a bunch of latinos angry as fuck because I dont “look” indigenous or that i’m too white to be indigenous, or that im just a byproduct of United Station culture and that Im a watered down mexican. Turns out from a recent dna test that almost half of my makeup is indigenous american, both Native North and Mexican indigenous. Of course the other half is portugal and Spain, but holy fuck was I happy. Finally I know that I can make the first steps to honoring that part of my ancestry, even if I will never find out what tribe or groups of indigenous people my family is from. the point is that im making those first steps, and I genuinely believe decolonization starts with learning about any and all indigenous ancestry that you may have within your family. Even if that ancestry is not positive, whether from colonization or slavery. Having that knowledge is powerful, knowing the tribes, learning their names, how to pronounce it correctly, familiarizing yourself with that culture...how is that not more important to other latinos? we come from colonization, and we seriously have to start joining our indigenous communities in honoring their presence now and in the past.

[khlur]

one of my flatmates whom i thought i was chill w is now saying racist shit about me to my other flatmate AND being a giant fucking dick to us both about a contract renewal...when she literally doesn't have a visa or the right to rent in the UK.

[plaguery]

wish i could just look up polycules hiring like i want there to be listings and i can see entry level polycules no experience required and go "yay <3 great" and i fill out an application and get accepted or not for joining or friendship and then i go on a trial period before im hired for real but not like dating apps because those are scary and terrifying and like. the point of what i want is i want every part of it to be straightforward and very clear what the intentions are even though i know it doesnt work like that im autistic and i want lines drawn in the sand and i want to not have to do stupid chats with people based on a dumbass profile that asks worthless questions. i also want to be like "hi i have disorders but i work very hard on managing them and also im new at all of this<3 please be patient with me" upfront but apparently THAT TURNS PEOPLE OFF/? i get experience is sexy and people like playing their little romance games but i need straightforward communication. and i want to not be scared. but its scary. but i want to meet people and love them and be happy with them. but that takes a million scary steps

[dokutah-exe]

i have changed gears and decided only to level, and then proceed to only use, my 3 star operators. think of it as the chuunin exams in naruto where im like lee and i take off the weights except its strategy and im suddenly using five to six stars optimally and also i dont think naruto exists in arknights

[gynandromorph]

Jessie is so stupid in a specific way I think about the ending of the story and it's like good but oh my god she is so so fucking stupid

[bumblingbabooshka]

The Pathways Novel is the holy grail of young Tuvok characterization because I can just sense so clearly through the page how insufferable he would be to talk to

[nyxi-pixie]

the most important thing abt noah coming out is that the people going 'hehe how does our fav strAIGHT frat boy play that fucking gayass so well??😱😱' had to stfu😁👍

[lexpressobean]

gonna start tagging this shit as #lextalkstothevoid. i need to vent some

i apologize in advance

i can’t tell if my friends see me as this “good” person because i’ve never had a serious argument with any of them like i use to have with an old friend who’s no longer a part of my life as of this month. i knew her for over fifteen years.

the people i call friends now don’t know me as intimately as she did, and yet, just within the year we cut ties, i found myself avoiding her just to be with them. we cut ties because i was honest and tried my best to communicate what i was feeling. she decided i had become too cold and she couldn’t understand where i was coming from despite me pouring my heart out. my mistake was trying to keep distance with a tether. we all know it’s best to walk away at some point, and that point for me was quite a while ago, but she was my best friend since i was 13. it. was. hard. but now the thing i thought i didn’t want to happen happened anyway.

the event that set everything in motion was definitely her doing tho. she not only lied to me (as I found out a year later), but she twisted my words around and attacked my character. it was like she was looking for a reason to fight with me, yet when i stood my ground and i pointed out the facts, she tried to take back her instigation and didn’t want to talk about it. but you don’t get that upset for no reason, and i really couldn’t understand why she did in that moment. and when she finally told me her reason, it was such an exaggeration of a reaction, both in my opinion and objectively.

now i’ve just been thinking and thinking, since i don’t have access to a therapist, i have to figure some shit out. because even if we’re never gonna speak again, that’s actually fine by me. and even if it wasn’t, it’d have to be.

and all i really got is that we simply grew up into different types of people...

which is a very generic blanket like statement. she’s called me cold, and heartless, and scary. i know anyone else in my life would disagree.

but i guess, she had some resentment building up that she never talked to me about. because she never talked about how she really felt unless it was a positive thing. maybe she didn’t like when i told her her things honestly, because sometimes honesty hurts or is unpleasant. maybe she thought i was too honest. maybe she didn’t like that i was so safe about my business. maybe she didn’t say it out loud, but to her, i was a complete downer because of these things. maybe she didn’t think i was fun anymore. maybe she didn’t like a lot of things about me, but she never told me these things upfront

she probably didn’t because then why would we still be friends if she didn’t like me? i think about it more still, and i realized i was her only friend. i was the outgoing one and she didn’t make much of an effort to make new friends. i wasn’t cold, i just didn’t indulge her temper tantrums or pity-parties. i wasn’t heartless, we just had different priorities/opinions and i didn’t agree necessarily with everything she did or said. and i needed someone on the outside to tell me this, but i wasn’t scary. when you don’t give anyone a reason to be scared of you, but someone is still sacred of you anyway, the reason is because they’re usually up to something, and if it has to do with you, they’re scared that you’re going to catch on. they’re scared because they’re lying to you, or tricking you, or trying to play you. that’s what someone told me, because here i was, thinking i must’ve had some crazy anger management issues i needed to control, when others told me i managed all my emotions just fine. one went on to point out i wouldn’t have come this far in my career if i couldn’t since i work so intimately with people...

all it took was one person of romantic interest for her to stop giving a fuck about me completely. i used to be her shoulder to cry on, and suddenly nothing but updates about how her life was going so great while she blocked out anything else. and when i needed her to show me she still cared, told her that i felt like she didn’t care about me anymore. her response was that she knew i hadn’t been at my best... and yet she never bothered to check in and really try to help me out, even if it was to just support me... she claimed to not understand me, but now it just seems like she just didn’t want to.

she was no longer someone who was good for me. she doesn’t care about me anymore. but i know she did a long time ago. and if there was something i didn’t take into account, that honest to god slipped my mind, i wouldn’t know. i don’t know what i did to make her feel how she does now. but even if the change of her feelings was my fault, she never communicated with me and just acted so unnecessarily passive-aggressive. maybe she was more afraid of being hated than being honest with her feelings. maybe i just didn’t want to be hated either once i realized we had grown apart. i still cared at the time, even if it hurt.

now it’s hard to care. i feel more angry than anything, but not so much with her than with myself. i doubted myself all this time, thinking i was to blame for it all. but she really was just a liar with no friends left. and now she’s with someone romantically that probably shares her views and her mentality and likes her just the way she is. and that’s great for her.

i don’t wish anyone ill. it takes two to tango, as they say. i just don’t know why she couldn’t be honest from the beginning. all this time wasted trying to salvage something that couldn’t be.

... sometimes it’s not the lack of communication. it’s just a tired situation that can’t be fixed...

[books-and-dragons]

i forgot how terrifying posting content is omg fuck this do i really wanna be writing again

[ettadunham]

me reading a message from a colleague to another one, knowing that it's gonna cause problems for all of us

[biancabelairs]

what do i have to do to get joe in some decent feuds with actual top guys, man

[transmascnaotoshirogane]

we've discovered that we seem to have invoked some sort of fear in everyone whenever we are vague about sbf vio doing something and honestly that's so fucking funny. good. question what vio is doing next. the results may surprise you

[yaldabaoth]

.

[dredshirtroberts]

no you know what actually I do have shit to say about de-radicalization and how people on the whole (and i do include myself here, i am a people as well) need to be more compassionate towards those deconstructing their worldview and pulling away from radical/harmful ideology.

Cause y'all I don't talk about it much and so you might not know but like...

that was me.

My family is *ultra conservative* and maybe i've said that before, maybe i understood on some level how far down the rabbit hole they've become - but i didn't realize until relatively recently how fucking long it's been like this.

And how close I personally was to being just like them.

The EIB network - y'all might not know of them, but the radio network that hosted Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck? (do people even remember who Glenn Beck even is? he was everywhere when I was younger but i'm starting to realize that some of the people I grew up listening to were not big names outside of their fringe belief groups) - was the sound of summertime as a child. It was so prevalent that when my mother began homeschooling my sister and I, I would hear it and immediately think it was summertime - even in the dead of winter with snow on the ground. For years. To this day I can hear it in my head.

We mainly watched Fox News back in the day - we watched CNN and NBC for a while too. But ultimately it was Fox News where we got the majority of our information about the world at large.

I don't know much about Bill Clinton's presidency other than the Sexy Scandal because we didn't like him and no one talked about him except to say he was terrible (with no information as to why other than that he was a Democrat and all Democrats were the devil and going to steal our rights). We thought George W. Bush was going to save america.

I thought Sarah Palin was a feminist icon - though obviously we didn't need feminism because girls and boys were super equal. Racism ended in the 60s. The Civil War wasn't fought because of Slavery it was for property ownership, *obviously*. You know, like land. Because property meant land. Not *people.*

The government was terrible and should be kept out of everyone's business and if you couldn't shake it on your own, you weren't trying hard enough and the government didn't need to bail you out. Black people were lazy for not doing enough to change their station and everyone who thought racism was still a thing just hadn't listened properly when Martin Luther King Jr talked about dreams. but also that speech wasn't necessary even back then because Racism wasn't real - or if it was real it wasn't bad because stereotypes exist for a reason, you know.

My dad and mom proudly talked about their racial profiling of "'Sp*c Cars." But we never said the N-word (even though if the black people say it they shouldn't expect no one else to be able to say it).

The hardcore christian element didn't super settle in until the homeschooling years. My parents didn't own a gun until a few years ago. But we supported gun rights. The right to bear arms was integral to the constitution, the constitution was correct when the Founding Fathers wrote it and didn't need *changes*.

Trans people were just Ultra Gays and the gays didn't need rights because they were sinners and going to hell because God might love them but we didn't. Men in dresses were a joke and obviously no trans person could *really* become the gender they "claimed" to be.

Unions were useless and we definitely didn't need them anymore because they were never necessary in the first place. If you don't like your job, just leave it, you know? And don't get fussy if your boss fires you out of nowhere for an "injustice" because that just means you're looking for excuses for your bad job performance.

Women were meant to bear children and run the household and I guess you could be a business lady if you *wanted* to but like only if you also planned to have children - or had already had and raised your children. And why on earth would a man do any of the child rearing unless there was a boychild involved?

I met Newt Gingrich and got to shake his hand and that was a *bragging right*.

and all of that has been incredibly difficult to un-learn. You spend 18 years surrounded by that rhetoric, thinking that's the way the world is meant to be. You cannot just drop it and immediately switch to the "correct" way of thinking (there is no "unproblematic" political ideology in today's world right now. but that's a different rant).

I have to work extra hard sometimes to fight through those filters of bias and hatred. Because I thought my parents were *reasonable*. I didn't think they were radical my *whole* life until like...a few months ago. I thought they'd *become* radical. But...no.

No they've always been like this and I sounded like a moron trying to convince other family members that they hadn't always been that bad.

Deconstruction, de-radicalization, re-learning is *hard.* And it's *lonely*. Because when you start pulling at the threads, those who shared the blanket no longer want to talk to you, and those under the other blanket are blinded in their own hatred of your previous beliefs to help you learn.

So you have to make your own blanket by listening to how others' blankets are constructed. And you learn. And you challenge and you *fight* and it's hard.

But I'll share my blanket with you. It's cold and lonely on this journey - but it doesn't have to be. We can un-learn together. We can deconstruct our past belief systems together. We can expand our horizons and become allies with other communities as a community ourselves.

We can grow. Because where you're from might be helpful to know in battling prejudices ingrained in your since childhood, but it's not all you are. You are more than your roots and the dirt you grew up in. You're not alone. You're not the only one going through this journey.

And I'll help you if you need a blanket to rest under for the night. We're in this together. I've got your hand. Come on. <3