#we're all stressed out today bc some high ups are coming in

[sinnershavesoulstoo]

🫠

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

hi coveyyy !! i hope you’re doing good and i was wondering if you could maybe do a hc for leo valdez x daughter of zeus if you havent already ?

⋆⭒˚.⋆ leo valdez x daughter of zeus! reader hcs

content: leo valdez x daughter of zeus! reader hcs warning: language bc i can't be stop lmao author's note: trying something new...idk if i like or not, you guys tell me!! really...tell me. bc ill go back and change them all to match (bc id rather DIE A TERRIBLE AND ATROCIOUS DEATH than have them all be different) or i can change this one back to normal bullet points. also i realized i hadn't written for my manz in so long, which is CRIMINAL. get ready for the leo flood to come your way (hopefully. please stay away writers block im begging rn)

✧ there is nothing on this planet that leo loves more than a woman that could actually kill him lmao-

✧ so no one was all that surprised when he fell for you

✧ im mean, jason and thalia weren't exactly happy...but they also weren't surprised

✧ leo likes asking you to help him weld things

✧ he thinks it's funny when you use your finger with some electricity to weld whatever he wants together

✧ avid debates are held over who get's the nickname 'sparky'

✧ "MY DAD LITTERALY INVENT STATIC ELECTRCITY???"

✧ "YEAH? AND WHAT TO DO USE TO START A FIRE? A SPARK. TRY AGAIN BITCH."

✧ "what did you just call me?"

✧ "mi novia, mi amor, mi princessa, mi media naranja-"

✧ "andddddddd?"

✧ cue huge sigh

✧ "and sparky. juST FOR TODAY THO DON'T GET TOO EXCITED-"

✧ you like to ensure that leo doesn't overheat by sending soft breezes through bunker nine while he works

✧ and while it's very unlikely that the boy who can light himself on fire will overheat, he appreciate the gesture more than you know

✧ being the good country boy he is, he's a big carrie underwood fan

✧ like, unironically (he just like me fr)

✧ thinks its the funniest thing to serenade you with 'blown away'

✧ OH and 'hurricane' by bridgit mendler

✧ in turn, you never let him go a day without hearing 'girl on fire' by alicia keys

✧ or 'fireball' from mr. 305 himself

✧ likes to throw himself from high distances, knowing you'll aways catch him with a breeze or fly up and save him all supergirl sytle

✧ "ladder? nah, i've got my girl, we're good!"

✧ "climb down? i've got a short cut. and her names yn."

✧ you get stressed out and also reprimand him for this

✧ but he thinks you look hotter when you're yelling at him so he doesn't mind much (or really hear your words as his eyes slowly drift away from yours and downwards)

✧ loves you nearly as much as birds love yo ass

✧ key word is nearly - there is no competition, those little shits are winning

✧ it's giving disney princess the way the crowd you, you sometimes gasping at the rapid pace in which hummingbirds tell you gossip

✧ which you then repeat back to leo, who is gasping right along side you

✧ leo even built you a bird feeder, putting it up outside cabin one while you stood there, arms crossed and totally watching him work and not just starting at the way his muscles clenched or how good his lips look tugged between his teeth-

✧ what were we talking about?? i think i got distracted by something

✧ jason loves it to, the both of you sitting criss cross outside the cabin early in the morning, listen to the birds as they spill the tea while you and jason drink coffee and eat donuts, jason's book long forgotten

✧ ALSO leo easily won thalia over, presenting the daughter of zeus with all the silver jewelry that turns into weapons she could want

✧ that girl was instantly switching sides, happy to rave with you about how sweet leo was and how well he treats her- er, you! how well he treats you!

✧ jason was a little harder but after an in depth talk and totally zero threats against leo's life, they came to a peaceful agreement

✧ bro gave up on appeasing your father and instead prays to hera for a long and happy marriage with you and that zeus never finds peace again

✧ which instantly made him a fan favorite from hera

✧ he knows when you really want a kiss or when your mad at him because you legit just get super staticky

✧ like his hair starts stand on end and he's like 'either i pissed her off or she needs a kiss. either way, i got to seek my girl out.'

✧ both end with you kiss leo, so it doesn't really matter lmao

✧ in fact, most interactions with leo devolve into make out sessions

✧ and, really, who are you to complain??

✧ sparky + (other kind of) sparky = true love

✧ yall that's math you can't argue with it i dunno what to tell you

[capriciouscaprine]

GOOD morning!!! (numbersss)

feeling a bit wiped after two days in a row of not enough sleep; gonna try to come home and go straight to bed tonight (plzzz)

this morning's breakfast was my usual coffee and a larger than usual yogurt with berries and granola, so we're calling that 250

I actually have packed another yogurt bowl for my 2nd breakfast at my internship!! (it's 4+ hours after I've had regular breakfast, and lunch is another 4+ hours after that) this is my first time doing that; I just haven't felt secure in knowing when I was eating and having the wherewithal to plan ahead, but I'm happy that I'll have something filling and nutritionally well-rounded; I'll be having that with a coffee, so a tidy 250 again

after action report from yesterday's honestly somewhat manic eating: I need to be prepared with a warm, filling, high-protein, comforting meal before I work on budgeting or planning my meals before I go shopping on my limited budget; clearly, it kicks off feelings of deprivation, and the obvious maladaptive self-soothing behavior that follows is eating snack after snack to reassure myself that there is plenty of everything

I'm not gonna focus on it to talk about my previous experiences that led to this pattern bc I'll probably end up back in that cycle when I'm not prepared for it, but it's enough to say I went through some even tougher times before, and I survived them and now I'm here!!

also, being stressed also brings out that manic feeling of wanting a snack; honestly just going to my classes makes me feel that way?? (I've never been diagnosed with mania in any form so don't have any actual experience with it, so please excuse my using it as an honest descriptor for how I have felt on those rare occasions); again, I clearly need to build in opportunities to sate those feelings, bc fighting them seems to make me feel overstimulated instead (all the warning lights going off in my brain and I have to fight off doing the things that would satisfy them like having a sweet or crunchy snack?? nope, that drives me even more nuts)

being prepared for these things would also be good for my wallet, since I can pre-budget for a specific meal in terms of both c's and $'s

ultimately, the constant snacks WEREN'T satisfying, bc what needed satisfying was feeling uncertain/insecure/unsafe; a solid meal that I could savor would have helped more, in part bc I could have taken that time to slow down and address the actual underlying feelings instead of seeking, finding, unwrapping, consuming, and repeating

ultimately, it wasn't too terrible a day to have consumed more c's on: I did a lot of walking around at work, plus hefted grain and concrete bags, and just in general used my muscles a lot, so hopefully a decent amount got used up; if today weren't going to be a long day at my internship, I'd see about jumping on the treadmill to use a few more, but as it is I'll see about doing that tomorrow after work

oh! I had one of those moments where someone was about to throw themself onto an unpleasant task just bc I looked too tiny to manage it!!

I had to grab more concrete from the store, and the way they were stocked honestly sucked, but I managed to roll the two 60 pound bags I needed down off the self and set them into my cart, and as I was dusting myself off, a man in a clean, professional outfit (not a suit but like what contractors wear, the tucked in embroidered company shirt and relaxed workman's khakis type) had come down the aisle and stopped and asked if I was alright and if I needed any help!

this man could not more clearly have wanted to avoid being covered in concrete dust, but he also seemed to not be able to help himself in asking if the person lifting bags that were approximately half of themself (I'm almost there!!!) could use a hand

even my mom has been sort of pausing to watch me after she asks my to something physically intensive (she has some health problems so it's safer for her to not do those things, even though she still wants to); she's a very 'women are strong and can do anything on their own!!!' person, which is cool when you choose that for yourself, but as a mom that meant she expected me (eldest 'daughter', even tho I'm nonbinary) to do everything, which meant spending more time working than getting to goof off and be a kid as early as the end of elementary school

losing muscle mass and becoming less physically capable is actually super freeing for me; no, I don't need to renovate my house all by myself or manage a full garden or whatever, I can focus on my career and use the money I make there to pay for a professional to do it for me; I don't have to handle everything by myself without complaint, I can ask for and even expect people to offer to help; sure, there are drawbacks (cat litter...), but I know I can rebuild those muscles later; for now, I am excited by the possibility of not being able to lift heavy things and even openly struggling with them, especially in front of someone who has encouraged the idea that smaller = healthier

[sanini-panini]

can't stop thinking about the fact that one of the patients i saw at our student-run HRT clinic straight up lied to me yesterday. he told me he was happy with his dose--and i almost believed him, because the records from his last two clinic visits didn't note any dissatisfaction. turns out he lied because we'd made him feel so ignored at previous appointments that he just. assumed i'd ignore him too. and the whole thing made me think a little (a lot).

so this patient actually did want to go up on his T dose, but his blood pressure has been consistently high at our clinic, and that's a soft contraindication. and instead of doing anything about it, we did the classic "diet and exercise and come back later" thing which is just. fucked up. so he didn't bring up any of this bc he didn't want to be preached to all over again. he'd just given up on the idea of ever increasing his dose.

the records from the last two clinic visits noted an "anxiety about blood pressure." it didn't mention any of this.

the only reason i got any of this information is bc the patient's partner was in the room, and i saw her in clinic a couple months ago and helped her through some pretty complicated shit that other providers had previously dismissed. i'd mentioned back then that i thought weight loss was bullshit as a treatment approach. so she trusted me to actually listen.

which was all well and good but with the blood pressure measurements i had on hand, i couldn't actually increase his T dose, and the patient was adamant about not wanting to start blood pressure meds, and when i staffed with the faculty i was like "i am so lost here" and then he asked me a question.

we're not fixing anything today. what can we do to get this patient to his goal in the future?

and i just. hadn't thought of that at all. i was so focused on the fact that i couldn't give the patient the dose increase he wanted today that i forgot that there was. a next visit. and a next one. and i knew that the blood pressure data i had wasn't accurate (poorly sized cuff, anxiety over a stressful appointment, and research shows that office measurements are inaccurate overall) but i hadn't really thought about the fact that getting more accurate data could change things in the future.

it still felt kinda bad to send them home empty-handed, but i think he felt better about using home blood pressure monitoring to give him some ammunition to advocate for himself next time. and i don’t think i handled the situation perfectly by any means but i must've done something right bc on their way out, they asked me whether i was planning to practice in [insert city i live in rn] when i graduate so they could look me up and i almost cried

[mentally-illenial]

Up early on a Saturday (it's my Friday) again. Usually I get to work early to open the cafe for breakfast service so that our bee pick up customers have a coffee and hot food option on site; a lot of them drive for hours to pick up their nucs and packages, even from out of state. Just coming from north Texas is basically out of state by sheer distance alone lol.

But today is BuzzFest, our annual summer festival about all things bees. We have the American Honey Princess visiting from Iowa, multiple other apiaries and honey producers vending and doing demonstrations, honey tastings and trivia, educational demonstrations, food trucks and arts and crafts and games (including a bouncy castle and a water slide!)... It's expected to be a big event, hopefully nearing 1,000+ customers between 11-3 today.

I'm assigned to retail, so I'm lucky enough to get to stay in the shade and AC. I've been told that when in retail, you just stand behind the register all day, no time or space to do anything else. You have to force bathroom and food breaks for each other. I'm not too worried, I've worked many a high volume, high chaos event before. This is just my first experience with it at the farm. We've spent all week as a team prepping for it, and it should be great. I wanted to make kolaches for my coworkers for a morning treat, but I stayed at work so late yesterday and was exhausted when I got home last night and decided not to stay up late baking lol. I'll grab some from the bakery down the street and try to make everyone a latte or something at work instead.

Because of the absolute disaster that has been this years bee pick up season, everything has been pushed back at least two weeks. Usually BuzzFest, which is the same weekend every year, signals the end of the crazy bee season, but we still have orders going into June. I was kind of looking forward to the break, but it seems we're not quite there yet.

The kids have some family events planned for the beginning of June, so we're getting them a week or so later this year for summer break than usual. We want them to have fun with their free time, so we're cool with it... Plus honestly, I'm hoping it will show good faith for December when I have to ask to keep them longer for an event with my side of the family 😁 my grandma is slowly deteriorating from rheumatoid arthritis and parkinson's, and my mom wants all the generations to be able to spend another holiday with her while we can. I want the kids to be able to participate in my family too. And, it'll let me get through the late bee season with relative ease, I suppose. I'm not gonna lie, I take on a lot of the caretaking responsibility when the kids are around usually, but now my husband has to step up for once lol bc I'm busting my ass full time and won't have the mental or physical energy left over most days to do all I normally do for everyone. He's already suffering the experience of doing regular weekly chores alone and taking care of the dogs all day lolol.

We're also anxiously and concernedly waiting for word on the debt ceiling crisis. They've extended the decision date to June 5, but we won't know if my husband will stop receiving paychecks soon or not, and it's crushing everything with stress pressure. He makes more than me in his military retirement and we depend on his income for survival; I can't support us alone. If they cut military support and punish the average voter for no goddamn reason, per usual, we'll suffer significantly. He's even warned his ex wife that if things go south, we may not be able to afford having the kids visit for summer. We won't be able to feed them. We've already unsubscribed from any extra services like entertainment and delivery and such which we deemed not absolutely necessary, just in preparation. We've re-budgeted and cut out any possible extra spending and reduced allowances for gas and food. I'm hoping it's all a stupid pissing contest like it was about a decade ago, and things will somehow turn out okay. Hope beyond hope.

Time to go work for those pennies baby lol

[marshmallowprotection]

hello hello. i dont know if you're into pokemon but I started playing Violet the other day and I tend to nickname my pokemon after whatever my current hyperfixation is so ofc right now they're getting mysme nicknames (right now my charcadet is (suit) Saeran (gonna evolve into ceruledge), my kirlia is Ray (gonna evolve into gardevior). i plan to catch a sneasel/weavile for unknown (totally didnt get the idea from an art i saw). Trying to pick something for saeyoung but nothing has felt right yet. an electric type? fire? maybe a dog pokemon bc with his loved ones saeyoung is both an excited puppy AND a guard dog)

ANYWAY so I started wondering about everyone's favorite twins and pokemon

What kind of pokemon do you think saeyoung and the various saerans would have? what would they be if they WERE pokemon? in a canon setting would they play pokemon?

i can see saeyoung with fire/steel/electric types, especially robot- or machine-like pokemon. ray/ge saeran with grass types is obvious, but I can also see him with fairy types. theyre deceptively cute but can mess you up. suit and unknown scream dark type teams. maybe some poison types for unknown. like i think he'd have team rocket/[insert region team] grunt-esque pokemon.

saeyoung and all of the saeran's have at least one pokemon (probably their first/partner) that they found abandoned and in bad shape that they took in and it decided to stay with them after it recovered.

maybe they have an espeon (saeyoung) and an umbreon (saeran) to complement their "we're opposites but in a balanced and complimentary way" vibe.

and also bc i must inflict this on all my faves who are convinced they're bad and unlovable: at least one pokemon on their team evolves with high friendship/affection. even better if for some reason he doesn't know what causes that pokemon to evolve and he maybe cries a little when he finds out. what do you mean he's LOVED??

ANYWAY sorry for the really long ramble haha. this was supposed to be a short ask but it kinda got away from me 😅 anyway, i hope you have a good day!! i love your writing and character analyses!!

Oh, you've come to the right person today, because I spend my time stressing out over what Pokemon I would use on their teams if I ever wrote a story for it. I've done this a few times before but I can never really make my mind up so I wouldn't say that this is a concrete idea. So, here is a slider I would use for Ray > Suit Saeran > GE Saeran. I think some of it is self-explanatory. I suggest dark, ghost, and grass if anything.

Phantump for a Ray who feels lost and dead to the world. Polteageist for his desire to feel like a prince in his haunted castle. Budew for a boy who can't be fully blossomed just yet... but, he's so close to that chance. Suit Saeran would only use one Pokemon in my mind and it's Banette. A Pokemon that happens to be seeking revenge in the same way he is. It might seem like a major stretch but mega evolution seems incredibly possible in this situation.

Shaymin is the Pokemon of gratitude and I feel like it would appear in the garden when he is in the process of thanking you for being there with him as he finally freed himself from his heavy chains. He and Saeyoung do have a set of Eevee together! I feel like they need to have a matched set, and his Eevee has been tucked away in their pokeball for a while until he realized the error of his ways.

Whereas, Saeyoung is always really tough to work with because there's so many different Pokemon that would work for him symbolically. Sure, we can pick some joke options if we want to do so, but I'm trying to imagine what would work for his work in the agency. Did they give him a team or is it a team he's caught himself?

In the end I just decided to give him a team that he crafted. He deserves to have a cat that shoots fireballs from its mouth. Of course, I don't imagine that'll end well for him since the cat likely gives him a free haircut everyday with burnt edges. Rotom is the given. Everybody who's ever drawn him with the Pokemon always gives him Rotom. It's right. Three heads are better than one! Magneton helps to hack and unlock problems!

His Eevee doesn't battle. It's kept safe in his bunker, or it's Pokeball. He hates to make Eevee sad about not seeing its own twin or Saeran. Magearna makes sense to me, because what is more in character for him than to discover this mechanical Pokemon and help bring it back to life? Minior for the stars! It's either that or Clefairy. I couldn't make up my mind but in the end I decided on stars.

Which brings me to Unknown and SE Saeran. Yeah, SE Saeran will receive that Megearna as a gift from his brother. His Porygon-Z likely was released after Mint Eye was taken down, or it's still in the box for now since that was likely his main partner for being able to hack into the RFA. Mimikyu and Banette are self-explanatory. Budew would be a new addition in his time spent trying to enjoy the clouds and grass! Milcery is a surprise, though! I have a feeling that is a companion he made one afternoon that tried to sample his ice cream and now he's got a friend that helps him craft his own ice cream.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

[chaoticrayne85]

First time

So we decided to do this new thing for us. We had been living in my mother-in-law's house for the past couple of years bc it was empty and someone needed to be living there among other reasons. Well back a couple of months ago through a few different circumstances we all decided it was best if she moved back in with us until we could find us a new place. Long story short my husband is in construction and we had been talking about getting a camper so it's easier for us to move with the job. Well we bought one and had planned to do a few renovations before moving into it. That didn't happen. One of us...me...can't stand living with other family members except my husband including both mine and his parents because well I have been on my own as an adult since I was 20 yrs old for the most part as in had my own place trying to stand on my own feet. I just have problems living under someone else's roof and feel like everything I do is being scrutinized. I also have issues with someone coming in a changing everything I have setup in a place I'm residing in without asking or them putting my stuuf out on the porch when I'm not home. Yes I blew up and yes I showed my true colors. I got called disrespectful because I blew up. Long story short we are now living in the camper. Very few renovations have been done. We moved all our furniture to my old trailer which is nothing but storage now thanks to my ex husband. And almost all of the rest of our stuff is split between my trailer and our camper. We made this change in 2 days. Now we all know how hard any move is on us spoonies. We pay dearly for it. I was already in a small flare from the stress I'd been under then added the exhaustion of moving to it the end result hasn't been very pretty. I spent most of the week in bed. I spent Thursday in severe pain worse than I'd ever been in before but I was able to get relief with a toradol that knocked me out so I slept all day. Then on Sunday the level my pain reached was unimaginable! I tried everything in my toolbox (advil, flexeril, hot shower, laying flat, stretches, walking, balling up in a little ball, even toradol) nothing touched the pain! I finally got so exhausted that my body gave up fighting and shut down for the next 12-14 hrs I slept like a baby. A very painful baby but a baby none the less. I had cried in pain so much I cried myself to sleep. My husband had tried to get me to go to the ER for 2 days and I refused because I didn't want to be treated like a drug seeker. I normally won't take opioid pain meds very often because I prefer to function but Sunday I would have at least tried one to see if it helped. I woke up Monday some time and felt pretty good except being a little sore. I have had a migraine off and on since moving in here. I learned something I really like about living in a camper though... It's much easier to make a camper dark and migraine friendly than it is to make a whole house migraine friendly. Lol Moving to a camper full time is a big decision for anyone but for us as spoonies the decision is something that needs to be considered on a different scale. Moving anywhere is a huge ordeal for us but if you are considering making the move to a full time rver ask yourself 3 questions:

1. Can I give myself the time I need to slowly move the important things at my pace to give my body time to rest everyday and the time that I need to go through my 1100+squ foot house and all its contents so I can downsize?

2. If you need special equipment like a wheelchair or handrails is a camper going to be able to accommodate those items if so what type of camper would work for your needs and would it need any modification?

3. Will my body handle sleeping on a camper mattress, and bedframe or will your mattress be best for you.

I don't have any special equipment that doesn't really fit in here but have decided to add a handrail outside and get some portable steps that aren't quite as far down as the first step on our camper. Some days my feet just don't get that high and I have days I'm very off balance like today so need a handrail as a just in case. We also took the queen size mattress out, knocked down the built in nightstands, and extended the bedframe to accommodate our king size mattress. It's a little harder than it was on the box springs so we will be adding a comfy mattress pad soon. Make sure your rv/camper works for your needs.

Now that we're in ours and my body has caught up some from the move we're gonna enjoy the ride. Just see where this road takes this spoonie next!

[kyunsies]

MADCH MADCH <3

hello fam - I've had a weird day, I'm super happy I can take the time out to reply to you. always thinking of you though, I hope you're always having a great day. today's been a bit of a non day - a family member has to deal with operations and that's on top of me too so i've just felt a bit winded in life?

YES to you finally conquering that damn cold! do you feel properly replenished now? omg i hate sore throats too - okay i hope this doesn't give you nightmares but when i was a kid i saw a documentary about this terrible disease that manifests at its worst a bit like alzhemiers but it can hit anyone of any age and for the majority of people who get it... one of the first symptoms is a sore throat and i have literally lived in terror of sore throats ever since. but luckily it's a very rare disease. so basically, yes, i understand you.

OMG you know when you're like eight and you don't want to sleep and you're like no i will adult and stay up and it will be glorious - i'm like, CHILD YOU FOOL you could have gone to sleep XD and ugh no responsibilities?! i remember working most of the time when i was a kid and i kind of wish i had wreaked havoc? what was your childhood like? did you get to do lots of fun stuff? i know my mum wishes she had been able to spend more time with me when i was a kid and i'd like to have a family and i'd love her to be able to relax and just spend time with her grandkids? OMG well when you come to europe let me know and then i can show you around and give you a hug in person!

so we're mainly cofe here though cahtolic culture is still big and honestly i'm with you. like religion can be a great influence on you if it's not used in nefarious ways and can help you learn so much - like even if there are things you don't end up agreeing with at least you learn about then so you can make a choice for yourself as opposed to not really knowing anything? agree - people that are really boastful totally put me off, i just can't deal with it at all. but you're right, like it makes us so so hard to forgive ourselves for anything right? like, even if we've done nothing wrong and we shouldn't have to punish ourselves? like i swear i'm apologising for everything haha XD once someone pushed me off the tube and i ended up apologising like ON REFLEX? hasjdkahds XD but i really hope you have people around you that keep bigging you up too! if not i will keep bigging you up :D :D so you know that you are worth it.

i'm sorry you're not looking forward to your final year of uni! think you're almost there though - like this is the final stretch and you'll have like conquered everest you know?! and even if your landing at the end of it isn't as perfect the fact you landed at all means so much and that means you can stand up again and keep going! day at a time and moment at a time you know? i kind of had this moment today (hence my wierd day) when i was worry about everything and i literally sat there like - have i made the right choice and done the right thing and surely i've made the wrong choices in my life and do i actually have any talent cause if not people would actually like my stuff and i had to just be like... a moment at a time sometimes you know? like, just bit by bit and don't sweat the stuff you don't have to? idk i find it hard to do but i hope that helps you - like you'll surmount every little thing bit by bit and before you know it you'll have made it! you were born ready you were <3 <3

TINY SQUAD IS GO! the pant dilemma is truly a massive issue, like IDK how to deal OMG OK SO LAMPSHADING is like when you do big baggy like tops and then like leggings or tights or something skinny on the bottom so... you look like a lampshade? like i guess it makes you look cute and then also it's such an easy way to dress without worrying if you look like a kid that's wearing your mum's clothes?? ahsdjakdhsa XD

AHHHH YES BASIL ME TOO!! what scent did you end up buying? i'm sure it was lush - are your parents near you or is it like a massive special occassion to get to see them? YES agree with your take on musk though! like it feels like idk, something a 50 year old with a cigar in a stuffy country club would wear? like, there's no energy to it but not in a chill mellow way either??! like even if i was going to a dinner thing I would still rather not wear something musky? like i'd still rather it be something a bit sweeter? also like some musk perfumes can be SO STRONG? like i'm like - my nose is choking on this perfume XD

YES BLUE MOON SQUAD AAAAA it is literally one of their finest ever, it's always stayed on my top faves list by them. like ugh yes to the lofi stuff sometimes i just wanna VIBE and be in my feels but not so much i'm too angsty but enough that I'm FEELING feels ya know? what did you think of kiss or death? it really wasn't that kind of vibe but yh i hope they do more lofi jazzy stuff - also cause like not a lot of korean groups play with that sound a lot?

hello mädch's mom as always! nerer apologise for being late, always just happy to hear from you and i hope you are super super well and looking after yourself first and foremost! more than anything <3 (also i take ages to reply too ya know and omg this is so so long ahsdjakhdaskjdh)

love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxxxxxxxx

ANGEL ANGEL !!!!!!!! <3 i know i'm really late to this LKDFJS i've had such a busy week getting some overtime in and then visiting my grandparents' house so i didn't really have a lot of energy to reply to all of this BUT IM HERE AND i can finally give u a good response <3

firstly is your family member okay??? i hope so ;____; how was the rest of your week, and how was your weekend angel? i hope u were able to enjoy your weekend and that everything is okay in the family <3

but YEAH my mom and i are over the stupid cold ;_____; i hate colds,,,, they last way too long lol like i say i know the flu is a little more serious than a cold but i would rather have it for a day or 2 than being stuck feeling lousy for a whole week :( ALSO SLDKFSJDFKLJ OH GOD SEE we are both hypochondriacs ( that's not the best trait to have as a nursing major lol ) but tbh i'm really curious about this rare disease ????? :o sounds really scary tho goodness gracious i wonder what it could be ;____;

also god i was always awful at staying up late as a kid LOL but i know what u mean !!!!!! honestly there was only one time i can recall i had a sleepover with my friend in like the 3rd grade and we tried pulling an all nighter so i think we made it to like 5am but i had to go to bed omg i felt like such garbage LKDSFJ </3 it's just funny bc like as u get older u realize that staying up late is really nothing special and if anything u feel like a train hit you the next morning and adults are so sleep deprived as it is we just *try* to prioritize sleep SLDKFJSDKLJF :') you worked a lot as a child bub?? what kind of things did you do? i didn't start working until i was 15 bc most places here don't allow u to work until this age (unless you're in a family business i guess lol) but all the jobs i had in high school i hated so much ;_____; but my childhood? i would say it was relatively normal LOL like we say all the time i've had a single mom so life was really stressful for her but i always felt loved <3 i always had my mom <3 and we took trips to the beach with my family every year, it was our little tradition !! i went to san diego to visit disney, you know little trips here and there !! and then when i got into my sport and i started getting older my mom and i spent a lot of time and money investing into my sport so most of my weekends consisted of a lot of tournaments and driving far away for me to compete :') i do remember when i was really young like in kindergarten my mom's work was really far away from my school and we had a recital ; i was the "host" where i would introduce all of the songs and stuff and my mom didn't get off of work until like 6 and by the time she made to my recital, it was over :( she told me she cried a lot that night :( i don't remember her doing this (i don't even remember the recital all that much lol) but now that i'm older and i understand more about adulting, i'm sure she was so devastated thinking about it now :( anyways about visiting europe LOL I WILL DEF GIVE U A CALL AND LET U KNOW SO U CAN SHOW ME ALL OF THE COOL PLACES <333333

and about the religion ....... yes ;____; i think it's a great thing if a family decide that they want to do this when they're families; i hope to continue to practice it (even tho we aren't regularly going to church at all hhhh gotta work on that) but there is something about catholic guilt specifically that just makes it soooo hard to like, be easy on yourself? but ,,,,,, i guess it keeps me grounded :( in a self depreciating way ??? LDSKFJ I KNOW U UNDERSTAND ... it's weird for me to put into words ;____; and YEAH :( i think i'm getting a little better at this but i used to apologize all the time for things i never needed to be sorry for hhhh (still do) :')

and yes babe honestly i'm really terrified to start uni :( i think i have this weird anxiety issue i've had it ever since last year but i don't know why i'm so scared and anxious about things that haven't even happened yet ;____; are u like this too? is it normal? i wish i knew :( i guess i won't really feel better until i have made it to graduation, but i just want to do well this year. whatever i do, whether it's exams, or clinical rotation or my preceptorship, i just want to do well ;____; i don't want to do poorly, i want to make my mom proud and i want to work at a place i'll be excited to work at, and most of all i just want everything to work out ,,,, i wish someone could just sit me down and say listen i know what you're going thru is hard but you CAN get thru this and EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS bc no one in my family is in the health sciences (besides my cousin who is studying to be a doctor but she doesn't give a shit about what i do lol) so ;_____; yeah ,,,,,,,,,,, lots of anxiety and apprehension of the unknown :(

LSDKFJSD FOKAY NOW I KNOW WHAT LAMPSHADING IS LMAOOOOOOOOOOO yes i wear those clothes on lazy days LOL the thing is i'm really picky about the length of my oversized crewneck sweaters hhhh the can't be too long bc if it goes below my butt i look like i'm wearing rags LOL so i have to be careful :') but most days i do like, reverse lamp shading lDLKFJSDLKFJ i like wearing flowy pants with a more tight top or like baggy jeans with a tighter shirt or a blouse i can tuck into my jeans LOL but omg its so funny i didn't know what that was :') thank u for the explanation my love <3

OKAY BUT HALF THE REASON I DIDN'T RESPOND IS THAT i was saving this weekend to go to the jo malone store in my mall and !!! I GOT A NEW SCENT AND I'M IN LOVE WITH IT SO MUCH BABE ;____; you have to go smell it if you go there soon and tell me what u think !!!!!! it's called wild bluebell (here is the scent description lol) but the guy behind the counter helping me was soooo amazing and helpful like they really do treat u the best at the store and AH i’m so happy with my purchase <3 my wallet isn’t so much LDSKFJ but nonetheless i know i’ll have it for a long time :)

KISS OR DEATH !!!!! i actually really enjoyed it lol i have seen some ppl not really like the rapping so much but i loved it ;____; i’m super biased obviously LOL but gosh i thought they were all great and minhyuk + hyungwon killed the song for me <333 wouldn’t expect anything less from our monstas !!!!! and my mom is sending her love lol i tell her the work u do and she’s always wondering how ur doing :(((( same for my moots she always asks me about 2 in particular LOL she’s always asking me <3 i love u so much bubbie !!!! iM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE MY LOVE again i always just want to give u a quality response <3 i love u the absolute most and i hope u had a great weekend !!!!!!! this is my last week at work before i have a week long break before i head for uni so :’) can’t believe i’ve done all this LOL :’) i will be happy to hear from u whenever u come back hun !!!!! TAKE CARE LOVE U <3