#well i am just a really introverted person in general and dont interact much in the first place i still love you guys sooooo much

[betweenblackberrybranches]

welcome back! we missed you! 💜🌸

here's one of my favorite Sunny images I've found lol - and I hope you can take some extra time to rest, you deserve it. UwU 💜🌸

have a lovely day & stay hydrated fren!

we'll all still be here when you're feeling up to it/ready to engage more with the community again. there's no need to rush or pressure yourself. 💖💖💖

💕💖💕💕💓💞💗💞💓

Cute lil sun! Hewwo i missed you guys too<333

Yea i am pretty done for now but i promise ill come back full force once i feel better

Ill try to stay hydrated<3

[papirfecni]

Hello Azra!

I hope you're having a great day 😀.

Look, i don't mean no harm nor want to be hateful to you or anything you do..(but i might actually be), what i'm about to say might be mean and it's probably gonna look like a hate comment or something 😅 but i assure you, i have nothing against you 🙂.

I'm getting this out of my chest bcs i want to, and since you don't reply to your DMs or anything else i thought my last chance is to tell you anonymously..here ...tbh, bcs humans are weird 😒 .

So i was one of your followers/fans and i really liked your work, you were funny and you were entertaining in every way..you might still be (i dunno tho') i even liked your taste in music and i thought it matches mine in a weird way.. i, like any other fan thought highly of you and did anything to be noticed by you 😂 which sounds silly now that i say it.. but it's something that we all do and i'm sure you have done this yourself 😉.

I tried my best to cut you some slack bcs you are famous and i don't know your circumstances or anything about you... but at some point you had me and gave me some of your time and i thought to myself .. 'why did she? i am just as any other excited fan who did everything to be noticed.. why give 𝓂𝑒 the time?'

Don't get me wrong, i knew you were just being nice 😆... but i thought to myself 'does she do that with everyone then? voice chat, play games, share informations...? which is odd.. bcs isn't she scared of creeps and weirdo who maybe have bad intentions...'

I'm a humble one but just like a normal person i got greedy and i felt like we might be friends lol 🤣 i even start talking to some of your close friends and i wished to be as cool just to be friendly with you all (not just you...no offence) bcs for some reasons i found a lot in common between me and you all, but i was too normal and too boring for you maybe a little too nice too 🙃.

The point is, after that you started ghosting me after telling me that we would do it again (play and stuff).. you never reply.. you don't see my comments nor msgs... i know i wasn't special but i really wanted to play more and have fun while i still could at that time 😅.

I just wished you never gave me a chance to look forward to an awsome friendship with such great and fun people like yourselves...

Once again, don't get me wrong.. clearly i have issues 🙃 and if i don't adress them the proper way then they will come and bite me in the butt 😆.

What i'm trying to say here is .. as much as i liked your spirit, your humour but more importantly your 𝒜𝑅𝒯 ofc, now i don't even want to see nothing that has anything to do with you... even your name makes me cringe (the fact that my mother has the same name isn't helping -.-') and i hate that bcs i missed how despite being so invisible back then .. i enjoyed everything you did..

I wish i never made that piece of art that made you follow me which made me feel so guilty for not following you back which is the one thing that led to another until it became no fun no more...

I missed your art and it feels bad now to interact with it after you belittled me and basically made me feel like sh*t (sorry..) when you ghosted and rejected all my requests..

I wish you read this and i wish you don't hate me for being ..umm weird and mentaly disturbed obviously 😅lol despite being anonymous i feel so seen..

you are a great artist and a .. well uuh a funny person? lol (that's all i could think about 🤣) i was a fool to think that you thought of me differently and for being greedy to have more fun time with you and your friends.. so umm i hope you take my honesty as .. umm a point that needed to be ..umm adressed and not as a hate comment or ..umm a speech at this point 😬 hehe

Just a word of advice.. don't say things that you don't mean to fans no more 🤣 they will be excited and they will feel special and it will be disastrous if you don't meet their expectations haha.

Despite feeling guilty for being too honest ..maybe to the mean point, i am 𝑔𝓁𝒶𝒹 that i got that out of my chest, i am trying my best to talk about this silly subject as civilized as possible so you don't get me wrong 🤠.

Good luck with whatever you're doing in your life and i wish you all the best 😺.

P.S: drink more water instead... it's very important to stay hydrated 💧 ✌️

i wasnt gonna respond to this originally but youre getting people i dont even know involved in this fsr so.

sending me shit anonymously expressing why youre mad at me is one thing but going around and telling random people in their fucking CCs about it (and naming me too) like its a warcrime not to respond to your dms personally is really fucking weird. im an average ass person with a hobby who uploads their work online, i’m not a fucking celebrity or “famous” for this or any other reason, i sure as fuck dont have any fans and i genuinely dont understand your obsession with that concept??? why am i the one getting blamed for making you feel special for simply talking to you and being friendly when youre the one acting like i have paparazzi following me around lmao i have classes to attend and study for, i have friends irl and family that i spend time with, i have a tiny group of online close friends i talk to regularly, i eat and sleep - a day is 24 hours for me too lmao. on top of that im generally bad at responding to dms as im very introverted with a terrible memory; it’s never anything personal, i’m simply busy or just forget to text back which my friends are aware of and have no problem with. i seriously had nothing against you, you’re very sweet and talented but you don’t know me, we hung out once for an hour as friends and that was it, i’m confused as to how me not responding was such a traumatic event for you when it’s a normal thing that happens with everyone especially if you’re not close friends. if youre trying to befriend someone you should behave like it and not like youre chasing someone unreachable lol. anyway im glad you got free therapy out of this i really loved the random cursive letters you added for dramatic effect as well as the subtle drags 10/10

[creacherkeeper]

hi!!! I saw you mention being a rare autistic extrovert, I think I might be also???

I enjoy interacting with strangers at a low level (crowds are overwhelming) such as short conversations with random people at the grocery store. Also longer conversations about interesting topics and connections with amicable coworkers. I have an innate desire to connect with most people. I also end up making a lot of eye contact accidentally because I’m looking at faces a lot and trying to discern if I know someone. I may not read social cues or body language I’m not attuned to and I have to consciously think about lots of cues and I constantly make my partner cringe (autistic and more introverted) when I break unspoken social rules. I turn my head a lot at noises and kinda catch myself staring at people who look interesting.

i also think i try to interact a lot with people who aren’t interested in interacting with me, and maybe my enthusiasm is offputting?

I mentioned to my friend that eye contact isnt uncomfortable and they stared really intensely at me and I shuddered, so I guess I do have issues with eye contact but it’s not painful or anything? I find myself unmasking a bit and looking away from people when I talk to them and it helps me concentrate on conversation.

It gives me relief that I’m not the only autistic person who doesn’t feel all that introverted. Eye contact and desire for social connection make me feel all impostery even though I meet the criteria pretty well.

Is this similar to your experience, and have you met other extroverted autistics?

hi!! yeah it sounds like you are pretty extroverted, but also some of what you said sounds sensory seeking too? looking at noises, reading expressions, staring at people, eye contact - all of those things can be sensory as well as social, so it seems like you have an overlap there

i like spending a lot of time with people and find myself very drawn to social interactions, whether its new internet friends or coworkers or talking to people for my job (like, i currently work as a social worker who does one on one sessions with clients, the vast majority of the time i feel better after sessions than i did before them). i definitely get very tired and brain funky if i dont have a lot of interaction. i have a lot of friends and still worry that im bugging them too much because i just like talking to them constantly

i definitely get what you mean with the imposter syndrome. but its important to remember that all autistic people are different and the autism "spectrum" covers a wide variety of traits. some autistic people have no problem socially or with eye contact and thats fine! it doesnt make them less autistic! and even two autistic people who have issues with social interaction can look entirely different

im probably the most extroverted autistic i know, but i definitely know autistics who are extremely charismatic and do very well for themselves socially. over the years as ive learned more about myself and others, ive grown a LOT in this area and now find it rather easy to engage with most people, have few problems communicating, and have been told that i am charming and generally well liked. but it was a PROCESS to get here because i used to be something of a fucking mess lmao. i think the key thing was that a lot of my skills in this area were LEARNED WITH GREAT INTENTION and i think thats where the difference is between me and an NT who just has these things come naturally. and i think another thing was just learning self confidence and self acceptance, like ive found that people tend to be drawn to someone whos confident and who can laugh at themself but doesnt really mind if they come across a little weird or unusual, compared to someone whos very self conscious or anxious about how they appear to others. like not being ashamed of your little oddities can go a long way!!!

[yeoldontknow]

🖊writerly conversation tag

tagged by @j-pping to do this amazing interview/reflections tag. of course she put together one of the most amazing tags ever because she is brilliant. thank you for tagging me angel! 

questions below the cut!

2020

what was the most challenging part of writing this year?

gosh...i think for me the hardest bit was staying both motivated and inspired. a lot of my inspiration comes from being out in the world. im an introvert but i enjoy being out in the city around the noise and the people and the buildings on my own. the majority of my writing used to be done while riding the subway or on a weekend after id gone out somewhere. a lot of my fics are inspired by locations, and experiences within those locations. being inside for the majority of the year made it hard for me to remember how...people interact with or relate to the spaces around them. so i felt like a lot of the time staying inspired was coming from places within just me that felt inauthentic. i think my writing benefits from my ability to see multiple perspectives, so i felt like a lot of dialogue or writing itself was suffering just coming from me alone. it took a lot of work to ensure that it wasnt like that. 

and then, motivation was also so hard. the internet and the news and everything about america, the planet, the everything was unrelenting and draining. we as people were privy to so much trauma this year, to the collapse and fracture of communities, lives, governments. there were several weeks at the end of may and into june where i just...couldnt. i had no energy for anything. it happened again in november after the election and the windfall of it. energetic tensions were so high it just felt so hard to push out words when things were breaking everywhere. like there were more important things i needed to focus on, and healing was one of them.

what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year?

i enjoyed the new community of writers/friends i found by writing for bts again. they challenged me and pushed me to better myself. @jamaisjoons is so inspirational in the way she generates community and encourages relationships between storytellers. doing the summer bucket list pushed me out of my hermit hole for camp nano, and i cranked out molotov cocktail and felt so proud of it. it mattered so much to me because it was the first long thing id written after a period of feeling deceased, and it was so enjoyable because there was a sense of community around it. its easy to forget how essential having a support system in your creative community is.

what piece has left the most impact on you and why?

probably ciperion. words cannot express how proud i am of that story and the direction its going in. i read it back sometimes and i realize that my writing was elevated because of that piece. tbh molotov was responsible for that lift, but ciperion was just a whole other tier. ive also never written anything like that story before and it felt so good exploring the themes of seafaring and pirates. 

what have you learned about yourself through the process of writing in the past year?

that i absolutely am someone who took for granted how inspiring the world is even if i see it as a stressor. but also that writing isnt necessarily about being inspired. its about pushing on when its hard. some of my best pieces came from that kind of push this year. 2020 felt like...a slog through most of it, but i kept pushing myself to write even when i was low and tired. i realized that some of my best writing comes from that push, when its not easy and when its difficult and i have to think harder. thats where i grow. 

how has your writing changed in the past year? how have you grown?

i think im more syntax and detailed focused than i used to be. lately ive been experimenting with making the act of reading feel like pleasure. my favourite books are the ones where i read a sentence, and im moved because it felt nice to read or it felt powerful. the sentence itself had power, not the image it was trying to convey. somehow separate, if that makes sense. theres a lot i need to learn before i could go off comfortably and try to write a book, and this is what ive been trying to master. my attention to detail has grown, and sometimes i think thats a detriment. i think sometimes im too detailed and i dont leave my reader enough power on their own. im still finding that balance, but i think im pleased right now with what im trying to push myself to master.

2021

ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for?

ive had two books in my mind forever. one was originally being written as a fanfic in a different fandom before i stopped and realized its too big and so much more important, and is worth being a book id like to write. if i wrote an opus like this it would actually be a book id submit to publishers but ~

- hundreds of years in the future, society has learned how to cure most diseases. for those we cannot, the sick person can be cryogenically frozen for a period of time until a cure is found. there is, however, a limit to the length of time they are frozen. no one has ever been frozen for over 100 years, and the main character is a scientist embarking on the experiment to do just that. it is, effectively, time travel. the main character is rash, selfish, sarcastic - not a very nice person; invested in their work and science and little else. they freeze themselves and wake up in the future. during their time in rehab they have to confront the horror theyve made of themselves, the horror people have made of the future, learn to be vulnerable. they end up falling in love with another scientist etc etc. theres so much more to this story and the world is enormous. one day ill revisit it

- a fictional play on orpheus in the underworld where a female main character’s brother was sold by their mother to the goddess of the underworld (helena instead of hades) for eternal youth. the gods all live in a hotel (the concept of this main thing is being used in elysian fields but its not remotely the same) after they were removed from the heavens. main character (ophelia) must gather several totems from the gods to prove her worth and survive her trip into the underworld to rescue him. id like to not focus on a woman finding romance, and instead a woman finding herself, her strength, her devotion to family, her power, and connecting with her history.

how do you want to grow in your writing this year?

this year id like to find balance, like i mentioned above, with my need for detail and my trust in my readers. the balance between detail and dialogue. i want to try to condense my writing again so not everything is a goddamn series. the ideas i have are huge and thats great but i need to remember how to parse things again, while still maintaining impact.

what’s one thing you’d wish to see in the fan-writing community this year?

i want more community, in general. as a multi fan, i see pockets in the kpop fandom where it exists and im well and truly aware that its recently become incredibly hard to foster on the exo side. ill just say that. maybe i dont witness it or its happening amongst blogs i havent found or have not found me. i want to see less dialogue about ‘popular blogs,’ whatever that means; less focus on notes; less worries about statistics. i want people to remember that fandom is not about numbers, and the moment you make it about that is the moment you stop having fun. i want less fear from writers regarding sharing work they read and liked, less shame around it. i want to see more vocal communication for the things people like and don’t like, more engagement and more interaction. the concept of popular blogs is so ridiculous to me, because no one has any control over the metrics. no one has control over who follows them or reads their work except the person doing the actual reading. i want people to realize they hold so much power - a person with 10k notes has as much power as a person with 2 notes because sharing is what fosters community. i want this fandom to remember to share again.

name one new thing you want to try doing in your writing this year.

gosh i really love postmodernism in writing. think like mark z danielewski, who plays with the shapes of words or the act of holding a book - the physicality of it. id like to maybe write a choose your own adventure, or do something that encompasses multiple platforms. or even, more importantly, finish as still as sound and time runner. those are more reasonable goals. time runner actually is done, i just need to stop pressuring myself about it and edit it to get it up. asas, too, is largely done i just need to get my ass together. i have so many other ideas no one has ever seen i need to finish what ive started. thats a real goal.

tagging: @yehet-me-up @jamaisjoons @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @luffles424 @yoonia @shadowsremedy @chillingkoo @onherwings @inkedtae @ninibears-erigom @imdifferentshadesofpurple @readyplayerhobi @ditzymax @sugaurora @snackhobi @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @johobi and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if comfortable or you want to!

[kinkou-led]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER. Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen

1. FIRST NAME:  Id rather not say. If we become close friends I might tell you but otherwise I just go by “Kilroy”

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:  Ugh god I have no clue. Nothing strange im a pretty normal guy.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON:  Uhm well I find quite a few things attractive. Some of them conflict and are hard or impossible to have on the same person. But generally im a attracted to people with thiccer thighs and a nice posterior. A nice smile is also really attractive.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Chicken nuggets

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: I am a picky person there are far too many to list.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE:  I dont really have any, ughh I guess I enjoy eating chips far more than I know I should.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN:  Shorts and a tshirt?

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS:  Serious relationships, not that I’ve had either but definitely the first.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE:  Hmmm, maybe talking about my issues a bit earlier in life.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON:  I guess, I dont have many to show affection too though.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:  Hardcore Henry, and the original star wars movies.

12. FAVORITE BOOK:  Hmm, im not much of a reader mostly cause I never have time. But im really enjoying the Republic Commando novels.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE:  Hmmm, im not much of a pet guy. I dont mind them, they just arent my go to for companion ship I guess.

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]:  Most of Mine are probably OCxCanon mostly. But I do love Geralt and Yennefer (Witcher), Wandered and Mono (Shadow of the Colossus), Link and Zelda (The legend of Zelda), Shepard and Tali (Mass Effect)

15. PIE OR CAKE:  Cake

16. FAVORITE SCENT:  Uhhh I dunno im not a scent guy

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH:  

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO:  Japan of course.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT:  Introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: 100% I hate jumpscares. And even sudden noises of any kind can scare me. Though I love creepy movies.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID:  Android

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Have played games most of my life. Currently loosing time to Destiny 2 and Final Fantasy 14. Waiting for Cyberpunk and Ghosts of Tsushima to release.

23. DREAM JOB:  My first dream job was youtube or streamer which id still very much enjoy. But as my shyness kinda makes it hard to give the interaction needed ive leaned towards either doing computer programming/game design. Or possibly becoming a musician.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Buy a nice house for my family, help with some accumulated debts, build a KILLER PC, and buy new bass guitars

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE:  PRESTON GARVEY FROM FALLOUT 4, FUCK OFF, GO AWAY ASSHOLE

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER:  Dark souls was the first, RWBY I am still in, Star Wars, Fallout, Borderlands, Overwatch, Mass Effect, 

tagged by: @rcvenkissed​ tagging: Anyone who wants to do this and say I tagged you!

[alittledizzy]

Hey Mandy, you work from home right? I need to start job hunting in a few months and for disability reasons working from home would be ideal for me. I have some q’s if you dont mind? How did you find your job? Did you set out to work from home? What are the pros and cons? How do you stay motivated? And do you have any tips for getting a job in general?

I found my job because I used to write Stargate fic with my boss, so I’m not really sure how much specific help that is! I had just quit my last job and she knew I needed work and she had a specific need for an employee in their office as kind of a catch-all person, and it just worked out really well. 

If I had to give any advice there, I’d say to consider that fandom friends might have a lot of help to offer? I didn’t set out to network through fandom on purpose, but it did kind of just happen. 

Cons: you’re always home, and they know it. I technically work office hours (8-6) but I am also expected to finish the job even if it extends beyond those hours, and I’m often given extra work outside of those boundaries. Because I work from home there is no disconnect, there is no ‘don’t take the work home with you.’ I work far more hours from home than I would in a more regulated setting. Most work from home jobs get away with that because you’re considered freelance, which also means that if you’re in the US they don’t come with benefits, insurance, sick time, or vacation time. If I’m not working, I’m not making money. It’s also alienating. I am not someone who needs a lot of social interaction but I have to have background noise playing or the fact that I usually go multiple days without leaving the house or sometimes days without talking to anyone irl will get to me. 

Pros: Amazing for an introvert with anxiety. Though, maybe that should also be a con, because I’m sure I’m going to be horribly ill-equipped to enter a workspace with co-workers if I have to do that again one day. I also get to wear pajamas every day, I get to watch/listen to things (even if I have a tv show playing I’m basically just listening so I do a lot of podcasts instead) all day long. 

[sadisim]

Lee’s Writing Tips #1

Hi! To those of you who don’t know my blog or simply don’t know me, i’m Lee, your friendly writer next door with a constant creeping terror of not getting her writings perfect every time.

Today i bring you some of the writing tips i’ve picked up writing from my experience.

English is not my native language, but i have been introduced to it when i was 3 by a relative who gradually taught me English alongside my native language, therefore i do make mistakes and sometimes i happen to fall in the traps of multiple language errors so please be patient with me. I started my writing journey when i was 10, being attracted by short flash fiction English texts in class which lead to me writing a lotta stuff, and here i am 18 and still not entirely proud of my writing skill.Also feel free to suggest me more things and let me know what you think!

BUT HEY we all learn so today i’ll give you some of my tips into:

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 101

I will add some of my favorite links at the end of this post so you can check them out but my best advice, and the first one, is to simply pile up on resources on your own. Don’t just expect information to come at you. You have this huge platform called Google which will introduce you to the magical world of research.

*They=official pronoun accepted when we’re talking about no specific gender of a being,as in he/her or anything in between

Before beginning these steps I will assume you have already picked the most basic things about your character such as : gender, race etc.

First things first: Let’s pretend your character has been just created into a very empty world, like you’re playing some kind of creator game and you shape your own beings after yourself. Make sure that you first pick a purpose for your character. What should they be like? Are they a bright, cheerful person with a bubbly personality and joyous laughter who always know how to make people smile? Or are they rather a social introvert, with a mysterious aura engulfed within a severe persona? It is all up to you what you choose. Just think up of a few basic personality types and pick one for your character. Let us pretend this drawing is your current character:

So they are a very basic shape, no colors, no personality, nothing that will identify them. Well it’s all up to you after you have picked your personality to fiill it in. This will consist of 100% of their base. Let us pretend mine will be a Friendly character. I will fill them in with pink:

-Secondly, after you picked out the full coverage of your char you will have to create a mindmap or whatever lets you keep track of things, of their main traits. This means you will have to do some research on what traits belong to which personality. I will leave that up to you.I have picked out a few for my character: Peaceful, Friendly, Calm, Helpful, Joyous, Childish. Keep in mind that these will mean probably the next 70% of their personality, although you do not have to restrict yourself to one type only. Not all personalities are the same and one person can be both extremely shy but also outgoing among friends. They can be super friendly but also very grumpy under certain circumstances and so on. You have to be creative, and this is the keyword here. Do not stick with one persona only.Make sure you give your character BOTH good AND bad traits. They have to balance themselves. Think of as many as possible. For example my character will be clumsy, shy, supportive and understanding. 

I gave a bit more colour to my human, according to what i thought would match their shaping personality.

-After figuring out all of these things i suggest making a list of all the personality tests and things that can help you study more about your character. MBTI test, Zodiacs in multiple cultures, enneagram types, mental illnesses,disorders, the temper, their harry potter house if you want too, generally whatever test will determine their personality. Once you do as many of these in their boots, gather the results and google them all: research is extremely important again, this will help you define what your character’s personality truly is, and you will be able to nitpick from these results whatever you like/dislike and shape your character. These  will help you find results on who they are and then yo're able to read more stereotypes/characterisations of that personality.

I’m gonna pick some random results as an example for you: My character is a gemini and a rising scorpio with an INTP mbti, phlegmatic temper, enneagram type 3.

-After reaching this point it should be really easy to have a main idea of the personality. What i would do after is start shaping them with different hobbies, passions, activities that tell you what they like or dislike doing. Develop minor things like the way they talk,act,react, write, how they walk or what facial expressions they give in : all of these sound easy to do but if you do your research properly you'll be able to develop a very well shaped character. A lot of the things listed tell a bunch about a person. If you dont believe me just do your research. You will know what i’m talking about after that. 

-Go in depth: get a character sheet and gather as many questions as you can. Answer them all, find all the small and big things about them: why they don’t like coffee, what planet they are from, when do they go to bed, what do they have in their pockets, do they love their mom? These will add all the fine details you need to outline minor things about your character. 

-Background: backstory, relationships,family, interaction with other beings and their surroundings: CRUCIAL elements which define who your character is. Remember when a baby is born it will grow up and be educated according to the place it grows in. All of the items listed above influence their behaviour, temper, reactions, personality etc. A very well defined background will tell other people who your character is, without having to know them well.

-Their name. To you a name may not mean too much, but i am DESPERATE about names. Names to me are everything about a character. Keywords, acronyms, puns and wordplay will always be present in my characters’ lives, and why not pick it up yourself as well? Search for names, save them in a list, take time to pick a name for your characters as if they were your children.

-MOST IMPORTANTLY: DO YOUR RESEARCH. I cannot stress this enough. People simply do not research. They think that cresting a character is fun and then abandon them after a week and complain they are boring. That’s because you don’t put effort into them. Look at yourself first: how old are you? How many years did it take you to get where you are now? If you look back one year ago will you realize you’ve changed? If so then think about how your character has shaped with time. If you give them a certain age to start off with, who were they until that point in time?were they different from who they are now? Do not simply create a character just to slap them into a world and leave them die. No human being stagnates in the same state for their whole life,without changing at least one thing about themselves. So do not expect your character to transform radically every day. It takes time, just like it would take you to do it.

-Research their race/nationality. If it hasn’t hit you until now, every country in this world has different people and mostly they have “stereotypical” things about these nations. We’re not talking about stupid things like germans drink beer and americans don’t like sport, no. Those are simply stupid things made up by people. I’m talking about their cultural traits. It really gets on my nerves when people slap on a nationality on a character without doing the littlest bit of research beforehand. Look up into the culture of that nationality: what are they like? what is their religion/belief? How do they interact with others? Minor things like these are often seen unimportant but trust me they matter.

-Make your character interesting and relatable. If the reader does not engage or emphasize with the character in any way it will simply make them not find that character interesting enough to be cared about. What makes them special?What makes them relevant? What do they have in common with other people or characters?What are their morals,beliefs? What makes them good/bad?

-My BEST BEST BEST tip is to STUDY!!STUDY!!STUDY!! If you don’t do your research before creating a character then it’s pointless. You cannot simply KNOW stuff without STUDYING it at least somehow. Be it as simple as how being a vegan would influence your character’s lifestyle to how their actions could turn the entire world upside down. It doesn’t matter. If you’re unsure on a matter, and even if you know it decently well, make sure you do your research properly before assigning them a trait,a lifestyle, a belief or anything else.

-Don\t play God. Don’t make your character unkillable, without weaknesses or weak points or flaws or simply overpowered. Doesn’t matter if they’re superhuman or not. If your character lacks flaws then it’s simply a pointless superhero prototype. There’s no reason to have your character be the god in their universe and make everything really boring. Think very well about what makes them weak, what are their low points?

-Keep references close, save up all the stuff you can, bookmark websites and resources, make your own masterposts. Get an inspo blog and look up everything you need when you lack the motivation to shape your character. If you leave them like that,without drawing inspiration from the real world you won’t get far with them. You will lose motivation and won’t be able to develop them anymore.

Some REALLY helpful websites, but again,personal preference and it’s up to you to gather more ;)

Psychology

What should your character do?

Character types that should be more often used

How to build your character

Building your character’s personality

Flaws

About realistic characters

Avoid stereotypes

Thesaurus | Dictionary 

[sagittaeprotector]

Character Development Interview Part 3

What makes you angry? Sad? Happy? “That’s a pretty vague question, don’t you think? I’m happiest when I’m shooting. As for the others I don’t think there is like, a thing, that would automatically make me sad or angry?”

Do you think people are basically good or basically evil? “No, things don't work like that. It’s stupid to think the world works that way.”

What are your views on politics? Religion? Sex? ”I don’t really care about politics, I have no idea what's going on back home where I’d vote anyway. I’m not really a religious person, as long as you don't force your views on me its fine. I dont give a damn about sex.”

What are your views on gambling, theft, and killing? ”I don't know what gambling as to do with the other two, if you’re going to be stupid enough to gamble you deserve to lose your money. I can understand the other two in certain situations... saving a life.”

Do you sometimes lie (white lies or significant lies)? Can people usually tell when you’re lying or are you a really accomplished liar? “Everyone lies, and anyone who says they don’t lie is a liar. And I don’t know, I don't usually stick around long enough to find out if I’m a good liar or not.”

How far will you go to defend your beliefs? ”What beliefs?” How much do you value money? ”Money sucks, but we’ve gotta deal with it.”

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? “...Take advantage of someone in the worst way possible, force yourself upon them, murder them and then pin the crime on someone else.”

Do you believe in self-sacrifice for the greater good? ”Yes.”

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? Yo, this is verse dependent. “Maybe?”

Are you superstitious? ”Sometimes.” How much do you respect the beliefs and opinions of others? ”As much as I possibly can. If its a belief or view that is going to hurt someone else for the sake of pain, I’m not going to respect that.”

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings? ”Pretty honest.”

Do you have any biases or prejudices?  ”I don't think so?”

Who is the most important person in your life, and why? VERSE DEPENDENT.

Who is the person you respect the most?  “My Farfar.”

Who is the person you despite the most? Why? ”I dont know their name and I dont care to learn it, or talk about why.” Do you have a lot of friends? If not, is there someone you consider a friend? Verse Dependent ”No.”

How do you relate to members of the same race? Class? Sex? ”Fine? What kind of question is this?” How do you relate to members of a different race? Class? Sex? ”Again, fine?”

How do you show affection/love? “I don’t know? How am I supposed to know?”

Have you ever been in love? ANOTHER VERSE DEPENDENT ONE What do you look for in a potential lover? ”Nothing because I’m not?” How do you fall in love? At first sight? Over a long period? ”I. Don’t. Know.” How close are you to your family? ”Next question.” If you’re single, do you want to someday marry (and have a family of your own)? ”I’d like to, maybe. It’d be nice to be a Father I think...” Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? ”Argue.” Are you a listener or a talker? ”Listener.” Are you a leader or a follower? ”Both? I don’t really know, depends on the day and how I’m feeling.” Do you hold grudges? ”Who doesn't?” Do you like interacting with large groups of people? ”Hell no.” How well do you express yourself? ”I dunno. Okay I guess? It depends on where I am, what language I’m supposed to be using.” How quickly do you judge others? ”Not very. They have to do something first.” Do you care what others think of you? ”Not really.” Do you have any enemies? ”I don't think so?” How do you handle grief? Do you cry? What about physical pain, how do you handle that? ”.....Physical pain is fine. I can take it.” How long does it usually take for you to trust others? How do you decide if you can trust someone? First impressions? Intuition? Do you test the person somehow? Or are you just generally disposed to trust or not to trust?  “I don't like trusting people. But I will trust someone if they prove to be trustworthy by just day to day interactions.” What is your greatest strength as a person? Weakness? ”My archery, and my lack of social skills.” If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? ”...I don’t think I would.” Are you generally introverted or extroverted? ”Introverted.” Do you like yourself? ”No.” Do you have a daily routine? How do you feel if your day is interrupted? ”I get up around 5am, dress, go to the gym to work out some before coming back to shower, then school, then training till they kick me out.” What goal do you most want to accomplish in the next six months? Your lifetime?Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? ”No idea.” If you could choose, how would you want to die? ”Happy.” If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? ”A bow.” What is the one thing you would like to be remembered for after your death? ”My skills in archery.” What three words would other use to best describe your personality? ”Loner, weird, obsessive?” What three words would others probably used to describe you?   ”No idea. Ask them.” How do you handle anger? Are you slow to anger or easy to annoy? Are people afraid of you, and if so is this justified? ”Anger happens, but it depends on the kind. I’d say I don't get angry easy, and I don't know what people think about me when I’m angry. I supposed if I had a bow in hand they’d be afraid?” How do you react to confrontation? Would you give anything for a quiet life or do you enjoy winning an argument or a fight? ”No one likes confrontation right? But if it happens you’ve gotta deal with it.” Has anyone or anything you’ve ever cared about died? How did you feel about it? What happened? “...I don’t want to talk about this.”

[datingadviceonreddit]

X-post from r/datingoverthirtyThis is gonna be stupid long but I would appreciate any advice. I am also an overthinker, so I might digress on certain details.Backstory: So it's been about 5 years since I had a real relationship. Im 32 now and think I'm ready to start this whole stupid thing called dating lol. My previous relationship.. We dated for about 4 years, were good friends/co-workers for years before that. All in all it was an ok relationship. We hung out alot, did stuff together like go out to dinner alot, watched movies and TV together, had sex here and there, both sides of parents liked the other person, she did convince me to change my college major to something I had more interest into. The bad parts were she was very verbally abusive like never appreciated things I did for her, would look down on me for stupid stuff, and she hated most of my friends for some reason. I'm pretty sure she was just a closeted bipolar introvert 🤣 Near the end of our relationship we would fight on and off about little things. It finally came to an end when she lost her job because the company went out of business, she didn't like living at her parents anymore and wanted to move out of state. Myself at the time had my own apartment and a steady job. It got to the point where she decided to move out of state and tell me literally the day before she was moving. Before I knew of her plans, That night she came over, we had dinner, watched a movie and had sex, then she dropped the bomb on me. I told her if she was absolutely committed to our relationship I would have really considered moving with her. The company I worked for was nationwide so that wouldn't have been an issue. That was met with a "no thanks, I dont see that happening" and she pretty much left my apt after that and we never spoke again except for some happy birthday texts and short small talk texts a year later. Nothing was ever resolved in a closure type way. The only thing that I know now is that she married some guy down where she lives like a year and a half after our breakup. Im thinking she may cheated on me near the end, but never admitted to it. I had severe depression for about 2-3 years after that. I just basically put it in my head that she died and focused on work and hanging out with friends and going out to the bar and just having fun. I Just had a fuck bitches, get money attitude. Work, have fun, get drunk alot, repeat. There's been a couple girls since then that I have hung out with a few times, mainly Friends of Friends, one one night stand from a bar, may be hooked up with them a few times but nothing of substance. They all seem to have issues, I had the foresight to see at least they would be terrible in a relationship. Those interactions ended as soon as they started because they were crazy. Over the years being in sales help me develop a confidence to talk to almost anybody. I think I can start a conversation pretty well, carry a conversation, I think I'm pretty intelligent and have interesting things to talk about, have interest in many many topics. I do joke around but it's usually like sarcasm and topic based humor. I think I can be complimentative and charming when need be. Now my downfall is that I live by the expectation of a false sense that people will always do the right thing and be responsible and being someone who I can count on. Because I overthink sometimes I create a perception of an interest and it doesn't turn out to meet that expectation. I am also brutally honest at times when I shouldn't be. I run my mouth to get my way sometimes. I think it's related to being aggressive in my previous sales job. I've recognized this and I'm still working on it.Current situation:I frequent this bar a few blocks from my house. I've been going there on and off for about the last 6 years. It's the type of place that I usually go to like Friday and Saturday nights, there's people around my age and they play good music have a good food and drink specials. Usually go there with a group of friends as well whenever we feel like going out, any day of the week. I'm friends with the managers and about 80% of the staff, bullshit around with the owner bunch of times. The owner has directly told me that me and my group of friends are like family there and if we need anything to let him know anytime. Soo..There is a new girl (29 yrs old) that's been working there for about 3 months and I think she's pretty damn cute but never worked up the balls to talk to her. One night going there with my group of friends, it turns out my best friend's brother-in-law came with us. He knew her from back in the day and started catching up. To protect their identity, We'll call him umm 'James' and new girl 'Ashley'. Me and James have hung out maybe about 15 times, I really wouldn't consider him to be a good friend but he's an alright dude to hang out with. We all started talking with her and we all become Facebook friends. About a week later, we are all hanging out having a bonfire, drinking, just having fun. After about midnight, everybody went to bed except for James and I. We were just talking and bullshiting, I mentioned that I had a crush on Ashley. He half joked, "let's text her and see if she'll come over". So he did and she responded and said she would come over for awhile. James kept joking with me saying she was coming over so he could bang her. James has a girlfriend, but they have one of those relationships where they fight, breakup and make up like every 3 weeks. Currently on the 'off week's as I put it. He was mostly bullshitting me to make me jealous. She comes over and we all just sat around the fire and We stayed up till 5 a.m. Just talking and having fun. No bullshit involved. Just talking about everything including how her ex cheated on her recently with a couple girls, how her friends flake on her and how she used to have an office job and only works at the bar because it's fun. After she went home, James stayed in the spare bedroom as I was driving him home the next day.Next time I saw her at the bar, I mentioned that we had fun and we should hang out again. She mentioned she had plans on the following Saturday to go to this other bar that was having a couple country bands playing. It used to be a bar that I would go to a lot in the past and liked. I wanted a chance to hang with her so I agreed to go with her. I didn't really look at it like a date because she told me to invite some friends as well.That Saturday rolls around and I'm excited to see her. We text back and forth about meeting up and taking Uber there because we will probably be drinking. We decide to meet at this bar that her roommate works at, 830 pm. She also mentions that she's had a cold and a small fever. She called me about 6 and says she still wants to go but to give her extra time to get ready and take some medicine. So we push meeting up to about 9. I get to our meeting point at 9 and wait for her, she is 15 minutes late. Whatever no big deal. She shows up in a dress and smelling amazing, I compliment her. I pay for the first to Uber to the bar we were going to. We get there around 9:30, just walk around and she occasionally stops and talks to some random people she knew from there a while back. Small Talk catching up but she included me in the conversation. She introduced me as a friend. We check out some of the band's music, grab a couple drinks, dance a little.. she was flirty in the general conversations we had and at one point was talking selfies of us. We alternated paying for rounds of drinks and shots, I was only kind of buzzed. I'm sure she was too, but I don't know her tolerance like I know mine.2am rolls around and we get Uber again on her phone because mine died, she said let's get food and hang out at my house. We pick up taco bell and take a 20 min Uber back to her place (very close to my house as well). We are sitting together in the back and after about 5 minutes, she lays on me and I put my arm around and just caress her arm. We get to her place, We eat and were hanging out and just listening to Pandora on her living room tv. Had maybe another beer there and just talking and occasionally dancing terribly. We got to one point where I was sitting on the couch and she was in the recliner next to it. I get up and pull her over to the couch, we talked for a minute and I felt it was right to try to kiss her. I gently grabbed her face and tried to pull her in for it. She backed away and said she didn't want a relationship and wasn't looking to hookup. I said ok, I'm sorry I just thought it felt right. I held her hand and just told her I wanted to show her a guy can take her out for a fun time and she deserves better.At right around this point, her roommate comes down for food or something and we just start shooting the shit about sports and stuff. Ashley is like I still don't feel good and I'm tired, takes some cold Medicine and tells me I can sleep on the couch. I was like you have a couple dogs and they are probably gonna bug me all night, I might just go home. Her roommate jokes that Ashley has a king size bed and that she should share. I don't think it was a push to hook her up or anything. Ashley says "yeah you can share the bed with me but no funny business". We go in the room and I want to be respectful. She was laying in plain clothes (t-shirt and jeans). I'm laying next to her on my stomach still in my clothes as well but wide awake. It's a dark room and maybe I felt invincible in what I was saying. I started joking with her that she couldn't fall asleep because I was wide awake. Then I said "I meant what I said earlier, you deserve better. Better friends, better relationships, a better job." I dont really know why I said it, but I always fall for broken girls and think I can fix them or make their life better. I still joked around and then asked if she reconsidered that funny business. She was like "what do you mean, we're not having sex". I said "no, nothing like that maybe just making out. I don't know, I'm half joking". She was like "no, I'm about to fall asleep" and did almost instantly. I laid there for about 20 minutes while she fell asleep. I was literally still wide awake and didn't want her to be weirded out with me in the morning. I order an Uber on my phone back to my car. Sober by now. The Uber arrives and I wake her up and tell her I'm just going to let her get sleep because she is sick. She walked me to the door and we hug. I said "I had fun tonight and I'm sorry for being forward earlier". She said "it's okay maybe I lead you on some how".I don't really worry too much about it except for the end of the night being sort of a creeper. Monday rolls around and the bar is having a birthday celebration for one of the older bartenders. I'm friends with her so naturally I go up after work (10pm ish) with my best friend, his wife, his brother I hang with alot ('Mark') and their cousin ('Andrew').We are watching Monday Night Football and having a couple drinks and just celebrating the whole birthday thing. Ashley is there with a friend of hers, I don't really say anything to her for awhile. She said hi to me in passing I took that chance to talk to her for a few minutes. Everything seemed okay. The staff there decided they wanted to close around 1 to go to the casino afterward for the bartenders birthday. They start closing down and Ashley started to help them with some cleaning. All the staff was almost ready to go, but they changed their mind on the casino and said they were going to a strip club that the bar owner had buddies that worked at and and asked if any of our friends wanted to go. I said no I don't have money for that, I'm just going home. The bar owner said "don't worry about that, they are only open for like another hour. Just bring your friends and I'll get you in for free and I'll buy some beer for you guys". My best friend and his wife went home because they were tired and had to work in the morning. I was off the next day so I agreed to go. Me, Mark, and Andrew went in Andrews car and met them there.So when we get in, it's my group I came with, the birthday bartender, 3 other bar staff members, the bar owner, Ashley and her friend. We just hang around at this table, drinking a couple beers, joking around, making paper airplanes out of a stack of dollars and shooting them at the girls there lol. Just good old fun. No one got lap dances or anything. They close like an hour or so after, Ashley offers for people to come to her house to hang out. Not really to party, just hang out or sober up or sleep.Everybody except for the bar owner and birthday girl go over to the house. We are all hanging out in this basement just having another drink, listening to music and talking. I don't really talk to Ashley, because I'm letting her do her host thing and I didn't want to bother her. I was also drunk as hell from doing shots and drinking beer and I didn't want to do or say something stupid. About 45 minutes, Somehow some of the guys that work at the strip club come over and thought it was a party. They showed up with a bunch of weed, cocaine and Hennessy and a stripper chick.At this point, the bar co-workers leave. I do a couple Henny shots with one of the dudes. Ashley asks me to come upstairs and talk real quick. She takes me in her room and asked who those people are and how they got the address. I said I don't know. She said "maybe I'm naive but I've never been in this situation. I don't know them and I don't want them here, will you help me get them out of here?" I said sure, I'll see what I can do. Literally at that moment, everyone is upstairs now in the living room. We hear a loud bang in the bathroom. There is my friend Mark basically blacked out in the bathroom and he pissed himself. I'm pissed off that I have to babysit him and embarrassed that Ashley had to deal with that. Andrew and I agreed that we should probably take Mark home. I'm moving Mark into the living room when I see Ashley hanging around the strip club guys. They had a plate with Coke lines on it. Ashley had the plate in her hand but handed it off to the guy and said I'm good for now. I'm thinking she was offered some and refused. In the process of Andrew and I getting mark out of the door to the car, Ashley starts being really obnoxious and anxious repeating herself and saying that we can all just stay there and it's ok. Andrew and Mark are outside by this point. I said no we're just leaving. She kept being really anxious and I asked her why are you so wound up and anxious. I look into her eyes and they're open really wide and she utters I just did some coke. Me being drunk, I almost over react because it's a jarring situation and she's told me she's only done it like twice in her life. The girl I like and have a crush on is doing drugs after asking me to help get rid of those type of people. I asked her if we could speak in private and she refused. She said she would text me tomorrow. I later found out she said she was feeling overwhelmed with the situation and that's why she did it. I gave her a really sarcastic 'have a good night' and left.We go back to my house and everyone goes to bed. I'm in my room and I'm fucking boiling pissed at this point. I think all the liquor hit me and I overreacted and I couldn't contain myself. I got on my phone and I texted her. I went on this mini rant about how I was disappointed in her and if she was going to do drugs I didn't want to know her. I told her that's not my life or scene, that my friends don't do shit like that. Also saying I was disgusted in her decisions and how I was pissed that she asked for my help and then basically did the opposite. That maybe I built up an image of her in my head and it was wrong. I fall asleep. I woke up around noon the next day to an essay long text with terrible grammar and no punctuation at all. She basically yelled back at me and shamed me for making her out to be a horrible person and that I don't know her or what she's been through. That she's never been in a situation like that and felt overwhelmed and that's why she asked for my help. But then even said I'm probably just overreacting because I was drunk. I text her back and apologize, run some damage control saying it was just coming from a good place. She then almost brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal, blaming it on that I was drunk and probably didn't get good sleep the night before.I don't talk to her for about 3 days and then see her at the bar when I went up there. That night she saw me only said hi and only that. I was going to try to talk to her but she left early and took another female co-worker home.I text her something to the effect of "do you still hate me? I just don't want you to think I'm a complete asshole. I really was only looking out for you..let's talk sometime". The next night I go up there with some friends to hang out. She's working again. She said hi to me, sorry I didn't reply to your text I wanted to but I was busy all day. I just pulled her into me and hugged her and said I'm sorry. We then had random conversations throughout the night for like a few minutes at a time. Not mentioning what happened but just talking about different things. The bar closes at 2 but my friends wanted to leave at 1 to go have a bonfire and drink at the house. I invite two of the bartenders that were off already earlier that I know back and Ashley. They all said yeah we'll come over after everybody gets out of here. Ashley said she was kind of tired but would probably come. 330am rolls around no one shows so I'm like whatever man, I tried. My best friend's wife and one of her friends Uber up to this 24-hour diner nearby while me and besty stay at the house. Guess who's up at the diner? Ashley with some other co-worker. Best friend's wife went up to her and said "I thought you were coming over". Ashley said no I'm tired and just wanted food. Have not seen or talked to her since then. The other two bartenders text me in the morning and apologized for not coming saying they were too drunk and went home. I'm ok with that.So anyways in talking with many of my friends about this. I've gained some perspective on what I want in a relationship. I know I want all the right things, to do the right thing and to have someone that will provide support I can count on. It's just hard not knowing if I should continue pursuing Ashley or to move on. I know I fucked up I overreacting to the situation earlier in the week. I just don't know how she feels about the entire thing. I find myself staring at her picture because she's so damn beautiful. She has cute tendencies and surprisingly is kind of shy. I just don't know if it's really being shy and there's so much more to learn, or if she is truly something like a drug addict and manipulative or or she's just a broken soul and I feel like I have to fix it. That's my overthinking issue. This shit stresses me out.Tl;dr: Ex was a shitty bitch that fucked me up and now I had a decent "date" with a new girl but drunkenly overreacted to a recent drug use. Wat do? via /r/dating_advice