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#well i meant food but yeah tht works too
hollyhomburg · 4 years
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*bows in your presence* THOSE SANDCASTLE SNIPPETS WE ARE NOT WORTHY
because you most definitly are worthy! here are some more! be mindful of the tags in this one
SANDCASTLES: SNIPPETS IN SEQUENCE (4)(yoonminjoonseok x Reader) (omegaverse au)
TAGS: anorexia, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism mention, themes of addiction, themes of attempted suicide, toxic mindsets, alpha! namjoon, Alpha! hoseok, Alpha! yoongi, Omega! jimin, Omega! reader
summary: after you leave, their relationship falls apart- and each of them chooses a different vice in your absence. 
a/n: please be mindful of your triggers for this snippet, some of its pretty heavy. i meant to be more verbal about jimin’s anorexia in the begining of the story but forgot, so it’s mentioned here because this section was actually written first in the whole story. the chareters in this dont always act in the best way- just fyi, they’re not always going to act well in this part especially. 
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- Because the apartment inside doesn’t feel like it used to- try as he might it doesn’t feel like home anymore, because you’re not there and everything is slowly falling apart- has been for months, and now Jimin feels like he’s falling apart too. slowly, the loneliness and missing you cracking open his chest day by day. 
- It feels like he’s been watching a train wreck in slow motion since you left. and he can’t honestly say that he hasn’t missed you or thought about you- every single day. 
- Yoongi still produces songs- but only does so when he’s sober, which isn’t very often anymore. 
- Most of the time Jimin can find him in one of the bars down the street. jimin braves them to get his boyfriend back as The alphas leer at the pretty and tiny blond omega that’s just looking for his boyfriend. Most nights, Yoongi puts himself so deep in the bottle he can’t feel his toes anymore let alone how much his heart hurts. 
- Sometimes, when the rooms spinning so bad, Yoongi can almost feel what it felt like to kiss you like he’s completely knocked off his feet. he remembers feeling so strung out and intoxicated. and even whiskey is a poor comparison to what it felt like to kiss you.  
- He still feels something like that when Jimin picks him up off the barstool and settles his tab. Even when he leans into his omega’s neck and runs his nose across his pulse point. Yoongi giggles. He always giggles when he’s drunk.
- He thinks about the fact that you left them and he laughs,  he thinks about the fact that Namjoon hasn’t been home in 3 days and he laughs, he takes a look in the mirror and he laughs until he can’t breathe because how the hell does someone fuck up this bad?
- Out of all of them Hoseok is definitely the most straight up depressed. At first, he was fine- emboldened maybe, he didn’t stop at trying to find you for the first month, texting you a full-on a letter every day, every time he was reminded of you. pictures and anything, anything to feel like it wasn’t too late. anything to feel like he was doing something- and not just watching the rest of their relationship fall apart.  He even walked around at night in the hope of running into you, even though he knew in all likely hood you weren’t even in the same city anymore. 
- Hoseok has said he’s sorry more times than he thinks he ever told you he loved you, and says sorry to Namjoon and yoongi and to jimin again and again, as many times as he can. jimin ignores hoseok at first, he dosent want to hear it- he dosent want to hear that hoseok loves him even, especially since he knows what that love has cost him. 
- Jimin stays angry at him for the first month, but then one night he comes in from his walk, smelling like the warm summer and the city air, and they both crumple into each other holding on until their fingernails leave half-moons in each other’s skin. Hoseok knows that he just can’t hold hoseok at arms lenght anymore- as much as Hoseok hurt them and hurt you Jimin needs him. jimin can’t hate hoseok- as much as he might want to. 
- But then- with the studio that practically runs it’s self as his only reason for getting out of the house, he starts spending a lot more time indoors, and when he’s home he’s never watching TV, he’s too emotionally tired and exhausted to move, so he just lies in bed, wishing that he would disappear, wishing that someone would lock him away somewhere cold and quiet where he couldn’t hurt the people he loves anymore. He deserves it. even if Jimin hasn’t repeated it since that night, that fucking night, he knows he’s not really worth this love anymore. 
- He knows the others know- maybe he’s just too pathetic right now to break up with. Maybe they’re just waiting until he’s more stable. 
- Sometimes Jimin convinces him to come to the kitchen when Namjoon’s home. Hoseok doesn’t smile like he used to, and Jimin finds him more than once- his eyes lingering too long on something sharp. or he flinches when Namjoon turns the news on- on one of the rare days where he came home to shower or sleep in their apartment. 
- But he only flinches as acts cagey during certian times, Jimin realizes one day, his blood running cold. he only acts that way When they mention suicide. 
- Jimin pays closer attention to Hoseok. 
- Namjoon has basically started living at his office, though he hardly ever sleeps there- or sleeps at all. No matter how many people are in the bed at home it always feels too cold. So Namjoon substitutes actual energy with coffee and as much casework as he can logically handle, it doesn't matter what hour it is as long as he’s working and his mind is free of thoughts of you. 
- Jimin is a frequent spectator in his office as he watches Namjoon slowly turn from anxious and angry to sad. He brings him food when he thinks he might be forgetting to eat and brings him a pair of clothes when he doesn't come home for long stretches. Every time namjoon’s secretary thanks jimin.
-  Until one time she asks about you- it’s been a while since she anyone other tht jimin and Jimin devolves into sobs so quickly that he can't even speak. Namjoon is at the door, pulling off his tie in a single motion. as he answers his secretary with as soft a voice as he can before he takes jimin back into his office. “y/n left us 2 months ago”
- Jimin spends the rest of the day curled up in the hollow of namjoon’s couch, the settet in his office usually meant for his clients. looking out the window as the city slowly turns from balmy summer day into cool night. 
- Namjoon wakes him with a kiss on his cheek and a quiet smile, “let's go back, yeah?” Jimin can't help but notice how not even Namjoon uses the word home anymore. 
- Namjoon comes home with jimin that night, for the first time in nearly a week he steps inside his own home. Jimin quickly goes to use the restroom while Namjoon takes off his shoes and hangs up his expensive suit jacket.  
- Jimin finds Yoongi passed out on the bathroom floor- but peculiarly a blanket over his shoulders and a cold towel on his neck as he snores softly. Jimin’s puzzled for a moment before he realizes that it must have been left by Hoseok. 
- In the darkness of the apartment Namjoon registers Hoseok on the balcony. At first he thinks it’s strange that he didn’t bother to turn the light on, not looking at the sky but looking at the ground with a feeling like longing.  
- Namjoon put’s two and two together- and it feels like someone’s just electro shocked his heart back to life after a heart attack. 
- “Hobi!” Namjoon wrenches open the balcony door, dragging Hoseok back into the living room, arms around his shoulders. He lets out a single aborted whine but   moves with him. Moves lifelessly, his eyes still dropped looking empty and so desolate.
- “What are you thinking about Hoseok? Where you going to-” his throat closes around the word, as namjoon gently sits him  down on the couch and paces. trying not to let his ajitation show. Jimin comes at the shout, and when Namjoon berates Hoseok he watches with wide eyes, and puts two and two togeather.  
- “Where you going to jump?” jimin says in a quiet voice- because fuck, he almost screwed up again and Hoseok flinches and looks away from them- and it’s as much on an admission as they need. His fingers tightening into fists. “i was going to- i was just thinking-” he rubs angrily at the furious tears, fuck this right now- this is also his fault. hoseok just keeps fucking up dosent he. 
- Jimin and Namjoon yell at him but he never gives it up. Never tells them that he was surely thinking about jumping, any more than that. The next day Namjoon takes a day off work and installs a lock on the balcony door. it might not be the most- personal aproach, but he dosen’t know what elce to do. 
- he puts the key next to your old key in your mug that still sits on the mantle, growing dusty. So that if Hoseok wants to unlock the balcony again he’ll have to look at pictures of all of them. And realize what he’ll be leaving if he does it. 
- They sign Hoseok up for therapy, and they make him go, even if its not healthy. 
- Jimin ferries himself in-between everyone, His caregiver instincts are thrown into overdrive in general. Occasionally when Namjoon comes home early in the morning or very late at night he finds jimin cringing over a dinner he’d made hours ago, not a single bite eaten. 
- And every single time Jimin asks Namjoon “are you leaving us too hyung?” and every time Namjoon answers that no, of course he’s not.  But the omega’s sense of self-esteem has been ruined by the last few months, and now he doesn’t believe Namjoon, not the second time he says it or the third or the tenth.
- His emotions are sharp, and in the time since you’ve left- without even a text to let jimin know you where alive-  Jimin starts to wonder if it could be his fault that you left. Maybe he didn’t love you enough- fuck his past self for ever choosing hoseok over you, even in the lsight way he had during your argument. Maybe you were his other half and he wasn’t yours. 
- Maybe if he had been a skinnier- or prettier boyfriend you wouldn’t have left him. Maybe it was too late to get you back, but it wasn’t too late to make sure the others never left. he couldn’t take care of you well enough to keep you then he certainly isn’t going to be careless enough to lose anyone else. 
- Jimin has always been good at hiding things- he hid his feelings for you for ages for peat's sake. And it’s not like it’s really hard to hide the fact that he’s not eating. Yoongi’s too drunk half the time to notice anything but a bottle and Hoseok is so wrapped up in his own self hate that he doesn’t notice that Jimin never eats with him anymore.  The only one who he really has to hide from is Namjoon, but he’s home so irregularly that It’s not hard to say that he ate at a reasonable time, and it’s even easier for Namjoon to believe him when he says that. 
- But he’s stringing himself out and Namjoon can see that, not the anorexia that’s come back to jimin, but the tiredness. jimin is so exhausted, he always wears one of the alphas sweaters, to keep away the cool chill that hasn’t left him. it could just be his anorexia, but jimin really hasn’t felt warm since you left.    - Even Yoongi can in the few moments that he’s sober anymore and Jimin isn’t running a hand down his back as he vomits his guts up into a toilet, when a hangover isn’t dragging him down into the ocean of sadness like a led weight and Yoongi confides himself to the bed and subsequently, Hoseok’s arms.  
- But he sees the bags hanging on Jimin's eyes. and similarly, Yoongi’s hands start to shake in the morning. Jimin notices.
- They try to convince Yoongi to stop drinking. This results in more than one terrible fight that ends with Yoongi breaking glasses and slamming a door. But Jimin still washes the vomit off of him in the mornings. This time with Namjoon helping him pull the rapper into bed. 
- The therapy slowly starts to help Hoseok get out of bed more. Soon Jimin doesn’t have to bribe him with waffles or pancakes or a stop at an ice-cream store on their way home, (Jimin is determined to feed Hoseok even if he can't quite muster himself to eat most days) and soon Namjoon and Jimin don’t even have to walk him to the meetings too make sure he goes. he gets on medication, and it helps. it really does. 4 months after you leave, hoseok can belive most days, that it’s going to be okay. 
- in the evenings, he and jimin sit on the couch, and talk about you more than they ever did when you where here, the memories that they don’t want to forget, the happy times. both of them make kisses out of their sad smiles. at least until they decide it’s time to go get yoongi. he usually never lets them drag him out of a bar if its before 1am. sometimes, hoseok goes with him just to keep track of him.  
- Namjoon makes the decision to take less casework when he sees how his family is falling apart with Jimin barely keeping them afloat. Namjoon tells him how thankful he is, and apologizes one night when they’re walking to drag Yoongi back from a bar. Only to be startled out of the most intimate conversation they’ve had in months by a tangle of shouts and the unmistakable sound of a fist hitting a face with fervor. 
- They run into Yoongi’s usual bar, Omela’s, to find him grinning and laughing with a split lip and saying, “come on? Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to fight I’m sure you can hit harder than-“ they both watch with horror, frozen as Yoongi gets hit again, the sound a crack as Yoongi chuckles through the blood in his mouth. Namjoon holds the other man back as Jimin picks Yoongi up through his tears and tries to steady him, dragging him out of the door with his limited strength, his arms protesting, atrophied. 
- as Namjoon bites his tongue and manages to placate the bartenders, bouncers, and the other man who’s getting dragged out of the bar too. Namjoon takes Yoongi from Jimin just as black spots start to dance in his vision, in the same moment that Yoongi decides to vomit on Jimin’s shirt.
- “I’m sorry minnie” Yoongi says, so delirious at this point that he doesn't realize that he’s changed hands. looking up at namjoon and licking at his bloody lip, “oh! joonie!” 
-Jimin wipes his hands on the concrete before he groans and just asks to go home. Hoseok materializes in the doorway with a broom when they spill inside. lately, he’s taken to cleaning as a way to distract himself and drops everything to help Namjoon get yoongi to the bathroom without getting throw up on the walls. dabbing at his split lip with a cold cloth. 
- Tired in the entryway, jimin’s so lethargic that he takes his shirt off right there, after toeing off his shoes. He throws it away, electing that the thick sweater was not worth saving, it’s yoongis- so jimin cant imagine he’ll get angry at jimin for throwing it out. He goes to their walk-in closet so delirious as his eyes drift to your side of the closet. 
- It’s still empty after all these months, with only Namjoon’s old sweatshirt hanging, and the shirt of jimin’s that you loved to wear to sleep folded on your shelf. Jimin picks it up, thinking for a moment, wondering if he should let you go and wear It again. maybe holding onto you in his memory is worse then letting you go. 
- In the quietness of his contemplation he doesn’t hear Hoseok walking behind him, he’s carefully holding an overfull cup of tea, as his eyes flicker up to look at jimin’s bare body, he slips, the cup dropping to the floor in shock. 
- its been months since hoseok has seen jimin without a shirt. and Hoseok can see every single one of jimin’s ribs. his sternum a sharp plank, his skinny jeans that used to be so tight they were almost painful are hanging off his hips attached only by the tightest setting on his belt. Jimin turns, sees Hoseok standing there open-mouthed, a single tear slipping out of the side of his face, Jimin scrambles to tug a baggy black sweatshirt over his shoulders and push past Hoseok without looking at him. 
- This starts their worst fight in months when Hoseok follows jimin to the kitchen, and Jimin tries to throw off hoseok’s hands as he shouts at him to stop for a second. Namjoon and even yoongi hear, though Namjoon puts yoongi in  bed (and on his side) before he goes to see what this fight is about. Namjoon and Hoseok argue with Jimin late into the next day, finally convincing him to at least take some supplements before he goes to bed. 
- “I'm really fine- theres nothing to worry about.” And “I’m perfectly healthy Hyung” and “stop being so fucking overbearing” are things that get said before they finally convince him to at least take some supplements before he goes to bed. 
- when he wakes up he finds a plate full of his favorite fruits and vegetables (they know him well enough that they won't try to give him protein this early in the recovery process- the first time they had helped him through this it had taken him a month to even eat something as colorie heavy as eggs)
- Hoseok sits with him until he’s finished at least half of it.  
- Despite the fact that Namjoon’s really the only one left on even ground, Hoseok steps in to watch Jimin, even managing to convince him to go to therapy a few times, though it’s short-lived, because if there’s one thing that Jimin hates more than anything it’s someone that doesn’t know him butting into his personal business.
- Like Hoseok, Jimin slowly gets better. In the mornings: Hoseok slowly runs his hands over Jimin's sides, a way to remind himself that he has people who are counting on him, and he can’t slip into the dark place of self-loathing he was in before. Though he’s not really out- he still has the days where he finds himself staring at the balcony door and the days where he couldn’t get out of bed. 
- Hoseok talks to Namjoon about moving, and they decide that yes- it’s time for a move for all of them. 
- And they find an actual house, one that’s a little way out of the city but surprisingly not so much longer of a commute with the train station being just down the street, with lots of windows and a balcony like before (but on ground level) and even a garage, as well as a small vegetable garden in the back. There's two spare rooms- one that Namjoon plans on making into a studio for yoongi- not that he’ll really use it. 
- Yoongi grumbles through the entirety of it- he’s the only one who’s against the move at first- he’s reluctant to move so far away from the bars, he’s lost a lot of weight too, especially since he’s been vomiting up more than usual. All it takes is a few drinks.
- Jimin understands it- kind of, how expelling food from one's body feels like purging bad thoughts and regaining just a little bit of control of this situation that they’ve all found themselves in. He hopes that restarting their life in a new location will help steady Yoongi. 
- they all have their addictions, for jimin it was starving himself, for Namjoon it was work, for yoongi is was alcohol, and for Hoseok it was sadness and self-hurt so deep he was determined to drown himself in it. to be so far submerged that he didn’t have to face the fact that he fucked up. It had taken him weeks to pull himself out of that- and now he was determined to drag yoongi out of the puddle too. 
- They get to packing up their whole life, the whole apartment. leaving their closet for last. that fucking closet. Jimin sees your sweatshirt of namjoon’s hanging in that god damned closet that’s always been too small. but regardless of that- He remembers how happy you were to move into this place with them. how you looked around every corner with amazement. he remembers clearing out this cubby for you to put a few things, before you’d moved out of your last apartment. 
-  jimin shows up to namjoons office holding it, crying so hard he can barely see.  barging in with a meeting that wasn’t so important, and Namjoon barely catches jimin when his knees give out, as he begs Namjoon to not move, to not buy the house and leave your little box of an apartment below the stars, because if they move out- you won't have any way to find them. 
- Namjoon pulls out of the deal to buy the house that day, with his hands shaking as everything rushes for him, all of the emotions that he’d been shoving down and ignoring over the last few months coming to the surface and no matter how hard he swallows they just bubble up. namjoon rubs at his eyes until his skin starts to hurt.  
- and when they get home and tell yoongi and Hoseok, yoongi tries to leave immediately for the bars, “you're a fucking idiot if you think drinking yourself into an early grave will stop this from hurting” namjoon sobs, and for the first time yoongi stops dead in his tracks, stepping out of his shoes, 
- joon doesn't cry often, but everything been so bad recently and as much as it hurts all he wants is his family to be whole again. And while that will never happen without you- he can at least try to keep what's left of it afloat “can’t you see that we need you? that I need you?” he pleads, his watery eyes filled with longing as he looks at yoongi in the doorway.
-  And for the first time, yoongi turns back around and falls into namjoon’s arms, Hoseok and Jimin join in, and the four of them kiss each others faces trying to brush tears away. 
- Before if they all ended up sleeping in the same bed together it was an accident perpetrated by one or more of it’s inhabitance being so intoxicated, sad or stressed that it hardly felt like the bed was full. But that night Jimin curls up on top of namjoon’s chest and Hoseok and yoongi curl on either side of Namjoon. And he feels a little suffocated but he also feels a little better. Like for the first time they can survive you leaving them. 
- They have peace for around a week before Namjoon gets called away on a case a few city’s away, he’s reluctant to leave his family, especially since they all seem stable for once. Yoongi hasn’t had a drink in almost 6 days, and though he’s spent most of the last week shaking under a heated blanket while he barks insults at anyone who walks through the door with a biting sarcasm. he does go to AA once, maybe even twice a day when he can find a meeting. Jimin goes with him always, and Hoseok has returned to working at his dance studio full time. 
- But Jimin assures him (after finishing a full bowl of cereal without being prompted) that he can handle Yoongi. And Namjoon relents, because it will only take him a week or two.   
- And Namjoon gets on the plane with a week's worth of clothes, unbeknownst to him- heading straight for the city where you currently reside.
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(this is where the majority of my highly edited words for this story stop; and i have a few snippets left but nothing of this lenght)
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angeltrapz · 3 years
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oosdkk dude im sorry ur mood dropped too.. i hope u feel better soon <3 but like i wld love 2 hear more abt ur thoughts on Art in general bc Boy Is He Interesting, and also a lil more abt Daniel coming out as nonbinary to his dad (whether he knows Eric is trans or not at that moment skjdfhdskf)! + if ur feelin it just more abt Mallick in general ESP cuz we agree that Brit doesn't make it thru V
djhfjdks thank u sm <3
okay Art first. I genuinely wonder abt him so much, something in specific I think abt is that aside frm Amanda (+ Eric, obviously, but talkin abt disciples) Art is one of the only trap victims EVER 2 be tested twice and it’s like... what’s that abt? Why? as u’ve said b4 it rly depends on how you personally view his character: whether he’s a disciple or not. fr me, both options are equally plausible, n honestly I don’t rly confine myself to either; it sorta depends on what I’m feeling/writing. if we’re talking abt art being a disciple, then the Spinecutter not going off (one of my BIGGEST questions) makes total sense, as Hoffman’s side of the trap was never set up to work either, + Jigsaw disciples have a history (aside from Lawrence) of appearing as victims in other tests/traps. if he were not just another pawn and was in fact a disciple himself, then the Spinecutter was never meant to go off - it was there just to make Eric think it COULD go off/make it look convincing to outsiders. which brings me to ANOTHER question: what does Art know abt Eric? does he know anything? what does he think of Eric?
(lil side note: if Art is a disciple, then I kinda wonder if it’s a lil bit of a Hoffman + Lawrence situation where Hoffman didn’t know abt Art either? just bc he looks so shocked when he sees Art’s face fully fr the first time... that could’ve just been acting on Hoffman’s part but IDK. food fr thought)
personally, I feel like Art probably does know a lil bit abt Eric - at the very least, he’d know tht Eric had been previously tested + failed by John’s rules, but then I feel that he wld also know Eric didn’t rly have a chance in his second test. that is why Art trying so fucking hard to keep Eric alive is interesting 2 me: what is his motivation 2 do that? like he’s been told Eric’s basically just there to get Rigg to participate, he doesn’t have any personal obligation or anything like that. sure, the aim is to keep Eric alive + see if Rigg can pass his “test,” but nobody said anything about grabbing a man you barely know around his ankles to keep him frm hanging himself w a noose made of chains. nobody said anything abt speaking to him so softly, not even raising your voice beyond saying “hey,” and asking him do you understand? when you tell him to keep still and prevent him frm killing his counterpart (which, if Art is a disciple, he knows it won’t, but he still speaks to Eric so softly, so compassionately, doesn’t he?)
nobody said anything abt grabbing him around the waist and steadying him again after being punched by said man. but Art does that. he stabilizes Eric’s feet on the ice as best he can and he keeps his hips straight and he basically says “look, we’re all stuck here, you need to keep it together ‘til that clock counts down if you want us to live, but I’m giving you a choice,” and he presses the gun w the single bullet into Eric’s hands and tells him it’s up to him. nobody said Art had to care but he does, I think, and it’s just like. he really didn’t have to keep Eric alive over the course of Rigg’s test. he didn’t. but he did and I just,, where does it come from? why does he care? this is even going beyond the fact that we’ve talked abt them being together after their test in a scenario where they both survive - I just think that Art at his core is a very stubborn but very compassionate person, whether he wants 2 be or not. like he HAS to know that kind of involvement cld prove to be extremely detrimental but he cares. I feel like that says a lot abt him (even if he does call Eric an asshole a couple times while doing it,,).
plus I also just. I think his reason for being tested (as it seems to be in most cases) is extremely flimsy. he was doing his job. he’s a LAWYER. often times it has nothing 2 do w personal feelings; they’re there to do their job and sometimes, unfortunately, that is defending possibly reprehensible people (in cases like Rex’s & Ivan’s). + John was already upset w him regarding their argument abt the urban renewal group so like it just feels So Very Petty, y’know?? even in the scenario where he IS a disciple, testing him twice seems entirely like John having a personal vendetta against him. Amanda is the only other person to be tested twice aside from Eric, so like. what. is that abt Mr. Kramer.
like I’ve said b4 in dms one could argue that Art is grey morally, bc we never rly see anything of him outside of flashbacks + acting as a test controller in IV, esp given that he... rly doesn’t seem too bothered abt it all? which is fair. but I also feel like the concern he shows towards Eric is smth to be considered as well.
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+ YESS NONBINARY DANIEL I know I’ve mentioned it b4 but for reference, I read Daniel as masc nonbinary (he/they)! so I feel like Daniel wld b pretty comfortable w his identity, he’s never rly had a reason not to be (it’s rly anyone’s guess here tho bc we never see Eric + Daniel + Kate... as a family unit, for obvious reasons), so I feel like he’s vry chill abt it? and in the scenario where Eric survives n is dating Adam, I feel like Daniel wld talk 2 him abt it first (Adam is an adult they quickly come to trust + he’s vocal abt being trans himself so there’s that added layer of understanding - other than his mom maybe Adam might b the first person they come out 2). they’re just kinda like “so I wanna tell my dad I’m nonbinary but like I’ve literally never thought abt coming out what do I do” and Adam’s just like. Aha. bc he knows Eric is Also Trans so like, he doesn’t tell Daniel that bc it’s not his info to share, but he’s definitely like “oh it’ll totally be fine. trust me you have no reason to worry” so Daniel’s just like Okay. I Got This
+ I know I mentioned this in dms but Daniel wld absolutely wear those floral ripped hem skirts over jeans, so I feel like on one of his visits to his dad’s, he just. wears that combined w a completely random niche graphic tee he bought when shopping w Adam (I adore this hc n I am Holding Onto It) n is just like. not super open abt it bc he doesn’t know what to expect? he just kinda waits fr Eric to comment on it but when he doesn’t, Daniel gets nervous n is like “do I look okay?” and Eric’s rly chill abt it, like “yeah! it looks vry cool, vry alternative.” n like Daniel is relieved, of course, but also he’s just like God Pls Say Something so he just comes out w it like “okay this is not working. I’m nonbinary.”
and he’s COMPLETELY SHOCKED when Eric is just like “oh why didn’t u say so? do u have a different name u wanna go by? is Daniel still okay?” bc he wasn’t sure how much Eric knew, so he’s just like “uh no Daniel is still good, he/they pronouns though” and Eric’s just like alright cool but internally Daniel’s just like ??????
n THAT is when Eric asks him 2 come sit out on th front steps w him n is just like. “I don’t think I ever told u this but I’m trans. I transitioned during training in my early 20s” n Daniel is nodding while internally he’s like Adam I’m gonna throttle u. he worked himself up fr NOTHING. he just kinda laughs abt it and Eric is like “are u good?” ‘cause he’s a lil worried but then Daniel just smiles and is like “yeah I’m fine! just realizing I had nothing 2 be worried abt” and it’s a rly good moment fr them. they sit out there together talking abt their experiences for quite a while n at some point Adam steps outside 2 find them deep in conversation + he just smiles n goes back inside bc he cares abt them both so much and seeing them talk like that makes him so 💞💞 (Eric is SO PROUD u can see it on his face)
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ohhh gosh Mallick,,, I spend a lot of time thinking abt him actually. he’s just one of those characters I feel vry connected to (me 🤝 Mallick: Ambiguous Disorder 💕) n one I got surprisingly attached to? hello (he IS one of my f/os)
I feel like Mallick is a very lonely person at his core. the way he sort of clings to Brit (w out the whole like. adrenaline of being in very very real danger w ppl trying to kill u SEVERAL TIMES) somewhat confirms this fr me. this is someone who has no reason to look out fr him, no reason to keep protecting him when their fellow captives hit him over th head w a club or attempt to push him into a bathtub to ELECTROCUTE him, but she keeps doing it and he’s just. in awe of it a little bit? ‘cause she could just let Charles knock him tf out or let Luba push him in but she fights for him, some1 she has no obligation to n met fr the first time literally when they woke up.
the moment they share b4 they stick their arms into the saws to activate the 10 Pints of Sacrifice is so very vulnerable and maybe even a little tender. yes he calls her a monster, yes she calls him one back, neither of them deny it. it’s an admission and an acceptance. they’re monsters, sure, fine, okay. but they are monsters and they are in this together. Brit tells Mallick it’s okay when he says he can’t do this alone. she says okay, okay, it’s okay, we’ll go together. and they help each other secure their tourniquets and they stick their hands in together bc it’s the two of them, literally hand in hand, fighting for their lives n for each other n they’re in so so much pain but they are doing it TOGETHER. I lose it thinking abt it!!! they even have a head bonk moment!!! I very much feel like it has some cinematic parallels to Adam & Lawrence’s moment in SAW 2004!!!!
+ as u mentioned, we both share the thought that Brit likely died since she wasn’t present at Bobby’s meetings, and. I want to touch on how fucking despondent and lost Mallick looks when we see him again in 3D. lights on but no one’s home. I feel like for Mallick, losing Brit was losing the first chance at a real connection he’s had in god knows how long - and for him, that’s just very shattering. he’s been thru hell, he’s watched three people die right in front of him, he sawed his ARM IN HALF, n the person he went through all of that with didn’t make it. but he did. and I feel like for Mallick that’s just like... he doesn’t understand it. but he feels even lonelier than he ever has b4 because the One Person who was there w him thru it all, the one person who could ever possibly understand what happened that night, is gone.
the Mallick we see in V would NEVER sit down n willingly listen to Bobby Dagen’s bullshit abt loving yr scars n taking pride in the fact u survived. he wld hate that man with a passion n I am very much sure of this. the fact that he’s sitting in that chair looking numb and glassy-eyed and silent? Mallick is trying to find some1 to connect to, find a place where maybe he belongs. trying to fill that hole that losing Brit made. why else wld he be sitting there, listening to someone he would ordinarily tell to shove his self-love bullshit up his ass? he’s lost. he’s just trying to keep his head above water and find a way to shore even though everything in him is fighting not to. he’s adrift without her.
+ ALTERNATIVELY, bc the reality of that is just. crushing n maybe not where I needed 2 go, in the scenario where Brit survived + just doesn’t want to put up w Bobby’s bullshit, I imagine them to actually move in together after a lil bit of time getting 2 know each other better w out the pressure of “oh god we’re gonna die.” she kinda helps him build up a sense of self-worth bc GOD it’s practically non-existent n thinking abt possible reasons why makes me sad. she’s definitely just like “no, you do deserve to be cared for and you deserve help when you need it, you deserve good things n to be happy.” she just kinds shuts it down while still making sure to talk 2 him abt WHY he feels that way (she’s not dismissing, but she’s trying to nip it in th bud) n Mallick is just like. huh. bc no one’s really done that fr him before. but it rly does end up helping in the long run, even if it is a very slow pace toward actually getting 2 a place where he recognizes his own worth + realizes he deserves all the things he wants Brit 2 have too. they’re there for each other thru thick n thin and if they made it thru their game, they can make it thru anything.
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rainandhotchocolate · 4 years
Text
Blackout - Part 7
A/N lelel it’s here!! I am so fucking TIRED but exams are done and I’m on holidays and thank you for all the love and good luck wishes!! Here’s hoping I passed hehe. Anyways, here’s a long chapter for you - I think it’s 2.5k ish so I hope tht partially makes up for the supreme lateness!! Love y’all xx 
Part 7
“You ready?” Lily stood behind Y/N in the mirror, straightening the front of Y/N’s robes.
“I think so,” Y/N took in a deep breath, spinning around to face her, “You know we’d make a great couple.”
Lily snorted, “Someone needs to take care of James.”
“Ahh true love,” Y/N laughed, playing with the front of her robes, “Did I really wear this every day?”
“I promise I didn’t prank you for your first day back at work,” Lily replied, “And yes, I think Sirius might have some more at you- his as well.”
Lily cleared her throat awkwardly, ushering Y/N out of her room and down the stairs to where James was making scrambled eggs. Y/N rolled her eyes at Lily’s uncomfortable expression.
“I’m not going to melt if you say anything about Sirius and me, Lils.”
“I’m sorry, I just keep forgettin- no sorry I mean-“
“Breathe Lily,” Y/N sat down, pulling a plate of eggs towards her, “Look, I know it’s weird, for both of us, but I can’t panic every time I hear about my past relationship.”
Y/N didn’t miss the look that passed between Lily and James but she ignored it, digging into her food.
“Excited to head back to work?” James sat down in front of her, wiggling is eyebrows.
“I mean, I’ve forgotten a fair amount, I’m a bit worried I’ve forgotten how to, you know, exist in the world.”
“You’ll be fine,” Lily knocked her elbow, “And I’m coming to meet you for lunch anyway so you have an excuse to ditch any corporate gits.”
“And you know that when there’s silence in a conversation you’re meant to screech at the top of your lungs right? Common Ministry courtesy.”
Y/N glared at James, “One day I’m going to fall for one of your stupid comments and you’ll be very sorry.”
“I’ll be cackling you mean.”
“No no, you will be vomiting slugs for a week.”
James put his hands up in mock surrender.
“I promise to avoid anything you might actually believe.”
“Much appreciated.”
“Ok, come on come on, I don’t want you to be late on your second first day,” Lily stood up, grabbing Y/N’s bag and hauling it over her shoulder. Y/N stood up, stretching out her back and smiling.
“Let’s go.”
Y/N felt her stomach flipping over as Lily led her down the backstreets of London to the visitor’s entrance to the Ministry. She was grateful that they took her back, though she had a feeling that someone had had a little discussion with Dumbledore, given she’d received an odd letter congratulating her on her job just minutes before the Ministry owl came through.
Lily opened the bright red phone booth, pulling Y/N inside. Ok deep breath, you got this job once for a reason, you can’t have changed that much.
Y/N snapped out of her thoughts when she felt the jolt of the elevator as it began sinking into the ground. Lily handed her a name tag and gave her a steady smile. The elevator opened, revealing the large tiled lobby to the Ministry of Magic. It was larger than Y/N had remembered, a looming hallway with large ceilings and deep blue tiled archways leading into deep sectors of the building. The grand fountain sat at the end of the hall, golden statues of a centaur and a wizard joined together and surrounded by crystal blue water.
Lily led her down the hallway, heels clicking loudly and back straight and tall. Fellow witches and wizards slipped in and out of the hall through passageways and the floo network, each holding large briefcases and papers, all looking extremely busy.
Lily slipped quickly into an elevator at the end of the hall, pulling Y/N inside with her.
“You’re level 6,” Lily whispered into her ear, having to lean passed a small witch with grey hair and a stare that Y/N thought could kill a man on the spot.
“Do I need to sign in?” Y/N tried to lean back but curled away as the witch turned her gaze onto Y/N.
“No, Salitus said to go straight to his office.”
“Right.” Y/N remembered the name, furrowing her brows to try to see if any details came to her. A weird feeling came over her, making her heart pump harder in her chest and she pulled out of her thoughts, focusing on the man in front of her instead.
“Level 6,” the elevator voice called, and Lily pulled Y/N out of the elevator, following two men who were talking in hushed whispers down the hallway to their left.
“You ok?” Lily had turned to her but expression changed quickly when she saw Y/N’s face.
“Yeah, I just… I feel weird, I don’t know, I think I’m nervous.”
Lily bit her lip, reaching out to squeeze Y/N’s hand.
“You don’t have to come in today you know? We can just go for a walk around London, try again tomorrow?”
“No,” Y/N steeled herself, “I’m just being silly, let’s go.”
****
Sirius placed the large box on James’ counter. When he looked up to meet James and Peter’s eye he saw them grimacing at him.
“Yeah nice and subtle guys.” Sirius huffed, “Making me feel real good about the whole bringing back my ex-girlfriend’s stuff who I never broke up with.”
“Not really sure what to do in this situation,” Peter tried to hide his expression better but it didn’t work.
“Yeah, normally your break ups entailed more firewhiskey and running around in the woods.”
“That would be much more entertaining than this version.” Sirius sat down at the table and pushed the box towards James. “She’s gone to work?”
“Yep, left a few hours ago.”
“How… you know, did she seem?”
“I think nervous, but excited to be going back to something she remembered.” James grabbed the box, lifting over and onto the stairs towards the bedrooms.
“I can’t believe she can only remember to that job.” Peter shook her head, “I mean that’s before she even met us.”
“Thanks for that reminder.”
“Ok, ok you we need to get you out of the house.” James watched Sirius who had placed his head into his hands. “I don’t like mopey Sirius.”
“I’ll try to be happier for you,” Sirius rolled his eyes but James continued.
“Come on, we’ll come to yours tonight, I’ll bring drinks and I’ll get Remus to bring back the cloak.”
“I don’t know man, I kind of want to be alone.”
“Alone never ends well with you,” Peter snorted. James elbowed him sharply in the ribs and he groaned.
“Where is Remus anyway?”
“Another mission for Dumbledore,” James huffed, “At least this one is just for a day, apparently Dumbledore wants him to go for a whole month.”
“A month? What on earth is he going to do for that long?” Peter furrowed his brow, unpacking a box of biscuits and handing them around.
“Gather intel? Be killed by feral werewolves?” Sirius scowled, “I don’t like this.”
“I know, Remus looked ragged the last time I saw him.”
“What time does he get back tonight?”
“Around 8, I think.” James crunched down into a biscuit shaking his head, “I’ll be so mad if he’s hurt.”
“Alright mum,” Sirius laughed at his solemn face, “but ok fine, get him to come over when he gets back. And you better actually bring something to drink.”
“Deal.”
****
Lily squeezed Y/N’s hand as she entered Salitus’ office. He was a tall man with lanky limbs and dark auburn hair. Y/N had a faint memory of him as her manager, but nothing concrete. He smiled at her as she entered.
“Y/N! It’s so good to see you, we were so glad to hear you had gotten out of St Mungo’s.” Salitus shook her hand and directed Y/N to a brown leather seat in front of his desk. The room was covered in photos of animals flying in and out frames and salamanders spouting fire towards the room.
“Yes, definitely good to be back up and in the real world,” Y/N smiled at him, trying to look light and bubbly, not like the deep pit of confusion she was feeling.
“We’re very happy to have you back and have Lauren ready to help train you back up again if you need support.” Salitus pulled open a drawer to his left and took out a stack of papers, hitting them on the desk to bring them together. “There are a few things we need you to sign, all the same as when you first joined us, just need to make sure that you’re across the same privacy agreements and all that boring stuff.”
He flashed her another smile and Y/N fought the urge to frown at his teeth gleaming slightly in the light of the office.
“That’s totally fine, I can get to them first thing.”
“Perfect! Well I’ll let you get to your office and get a feel for everything and Lauren will drop in soon to get you up to speed. Send me a note if you need anything at all.” Salitus handed her the papers and stood up, Y/N following his lead and getting up quickly from the leather chair.
“Great, it was good to see you again.”
“You as well.” Y/N nodded to him and followed him out towards the door before he closed it behind her. Lily was still waiting outside reading, putting down her book as Y/N approached.
“Everything all good?”
“Yeah I think so,” Y/N shrugged, “Just have to sign some papers and can head back to my office – also I have an office? I thought I shared an office.”
“I think you moved into your own office before you q- the accident,” Lily stumbled, beginning to walk down the corridor. Y/N narrowed her eyes but let Lily lead her further into the department. “This is you.”
Y/N’s name was emblazoned on the front of a large black door towards the end of the corridor.
“Weird.”
“Yeah,” Lily laughed, “I would love to have my name on something.”
“Have a kid and name it Lily,” Y/N grinned at her, “Are you coming in?”
“No, I’ve got to head into work for a bit but I’ll see you tonight?”
“See you then.”
***
“Open the door Sirius!” James banged on the door to his apartment, bottle of firewhiskey in hand. The door swung open to reveal Remus, his eyes looking sunken and black but he was smiling at him all the same.
“Welcome to the house of depression.”
“Oh good, love a warm welcome.” James slid past him and into the apartment. It was covered in art and framed posters of gigs Sirius and Y/N had been too, the furniture clearly picked out by Y/N as it wasn’t black or second-hand.
Remus grinned at him and followed James back towards the living room where music was blasting and Peter was watching Sirius set up an elaborate line of shots with his wand out and ready.
“You ready for a new game!?” Sirius looked up when James entered, clearly already tipsy, his eyes flashing mischievously.
“Hit me.” James sat on the couch and passed him another bottle of whiskey to add to his stash next to the table.
“We’re doing proper firewhiskey,” Sirius flicked his wand so that one of the shots lit on fire. “With a twist.”
“More of a twist?” Remus snorted.
“I’m gonna place these around the rooms and we need to try to apparate directly in front of them.”
“What happens if we miss?”
“The rest of us gets to decide a punishment.” Sirius grinned.
“Sounds good to me,” James grinned in response, clapping his hands together. “Let’s do it.”
Three hours later the four boys had drunk two bottles of firewhiskey, Peter was dressed in his underwear and Remus’ hair was singed with fire. James had had to streak down a the road outside Sirius’ apartment at one point as well and was sure the lady downstairs was going to hit on him the next time she passed.
Sirius was lying on the floor staring up at the ceiling fan spinning slowly. He’d apparated perfectly in front of each shot and had already out drunk all three of them. Remus was flicking through Sirius’ records, calling out each one he liked to see if the rest of them wanted it playing.
“I’ve told you three time, it’s New Order or nothing.” James called from the bathroom, poking his head around the doorway.
“Alright alright, putting it on now.” Remus flipped the record, placing it on the player and placing the needle down and turning up the volume.
Blue Monday blasted through the speakers and Remus went over to Sirius, still on the floor.
“Come on, you’ve got to get up for Blue Monday.” Remus kicked his feet, stumbling sideways slightly. James had come back into the living room and grabbed Peter’s hand, spinning him towards the fire.
“Nah, imma stay here,” Sirius slurred up at him, kicking his feet back towards Remus who side stepped him.
“Come on.” Remus rolled his eyes, leaning down to grab his hand and pull him back up to standing. Sirius swayed on his feet, stumbling towards the wall, giggling.
“Oops, everything’s spinning,” He mumbled towards Remus, turning around to watch James and Peter pretend to Irish dance in the corner.
“You need water you idiot.”
“Noooo, I’m good, I need some more, I’m sobering up!”
“Liar!” Peter called out to him, attempting a high kick and hitting the edge of the doorway.
“You’re literally going to puke over your floor if you have any more, and you’ve not even had to do anything bad yet,” James caught Peter before he slipped backwards.
“Well come on then, hit me, dare me to do something friends,” Sirius winked at James, “give me your worst.”
“I can’t think of anything,” Remus blinked a few times, “My brain has turned to mush.”
“Streak!” Peter sat down, puffing loudly.
“You can’t re dare the same thing,” James rolled his eyes. “I don’t know, why don’t you floo call someone?”
“Calling someone!” Sirius yelled, throwing his hands up in the air, “Perfect!”
Sirius knelt on the ground, shifting his legs across the floorboards to reach the fireplace. He placed his hand in the large pot of floor powder to his right, grabbing a hand-full and throwing it into the fire.
“James and Lily’s!”
***
“Merlin’s beard I am exhausted.” Y/N flopped onto the couch as Lily handed her a cup of peppermint tea and a plateful of fig newtons.
“Long first day?” Lily smiled at her, curling up her feet underneath the couch and leaning into the arm.
“I remember Lauren being boring but listening to her talk about the ins and outs of my job for three hours honestly made me want to be back in St Mungo’s.”
“She sounds like a delight.” Lily snorted.
“Seriously, she made the job sound like the most painful thing on the planet, but there’s a reason I joined right? A reason I stayed?” Y/N smiled, shaking her head. “I hate feeling like I’m back at step one in my career you know.”
“Ahh you’ll find your way again,” Lily stole a fig newton, “You might just need to repeat some of the same mistakes before you get there.”
“Sounds fucking fun.” Y/N sighed, staring at the fireplace. “How was your day?”
“Alright, doing field work is a bit painful at the moment, I was hoping it would be more like working at St Mungo’s but it feels more like I’m just being sent to break up petty fights they think might be death eater attacks.”
“So, healing broken noses and black eyes?”
“Just about, learning a lot about dumb boys.” Lily snorted, “Which I think I already have a fucking degree in.”
Suddenly there was a crackling sound and within an instant the two girls were standing, wand in hand pointing towards the fire that had began moving in front of them.
“Y/N! Y/N!” A familiar voice called through the fire and they lowered their stance. Sirius’s face was pushing through the fireplace, grinning stupidly as he tried to find Y/N. “There you are!”
“Hey there, Sirius, you sound like you’re having a good night.” Y/N smiled at him, sitting down closer to the fireplace.
“A great night! Fan-bloody-tastic night!”
“So what’s going on?”
“Well the boys dared me to floo call someone and I thought of you!”
“That’s very kind of you,” Y/N laughed, hearing Remus calling out to Sirius in the background.
“Anyway, anyway, I really just wanted to tell you, like, tell you how much I miss you – no, James I’m fine!” Sirius’ face moved towards where Y/N presumed James was trying to pull him away from the fire. Y/N could hear Lily suck in a breath from behind her.
“No, I needed to let you know that I really really miss you, you know? Like it kinds hurts a lot sometimes but you’re still here and you’re ok, but you’re also not here? You know? And I just, I love you Y/N so much and I don’t know what to do without you but you are here, so I’m just really confused but I thought you needed to know ho-“
Sirius’s face disappeared from the fire as she heard three boys yell loudly and presumably drag him backwards and into his living room again. A silence fell, Lily’s breathing heavy and loud behind her.
“Are you ok?” Lily said after a moment, placing a hand on Y/N’s shoulder. Y/N said nothing, staring at the place where Sirius’s face had been and feeling every part of her body tense painfully.
“I’m making his life worse by being here.” Y/N muttered finally, her throat constricting tightly. She was bringing him so much pain by existing without the memories of him. She wondered momentarily if it would have been better to just have never woken up. No, that’s not the problem. The problem is whoever did this to me. Whoever decided to cause this pain.
“No you’re not, love, I promise. He’s just drunk and a bit sad, he will be ok.”
“Tell me about that night.” Y/N turned to face Lily. Her brow furrowed.
“What?”
“The night I got hurt, tell me about it. I want to know what happened.”
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transrightsjimin · 4 years
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@trespassers-will​ ok here we go
i also watched the various videos hidden inside each photo and the videos that were posted today as well and took notes too hjfhk
1. hobi’s room
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okay so i thought i would rank jin’s room first but then i saw hobi’s room and i saw that couch nd went OMG okay thats no.1!! i love this interior so so much, like i normally hate orange and blue as a combination but this seems almost more like red and blue and it really reminds me of hopeworld. there’s many pop art-like graphic design posters adorning the walls, showing lines like ‘hope‘, ‘sweet’ and ‘my way‘. the shoes on the closet(?) behind him were disaplayed bc those are the colours we wears the most in his fashion. and then there’s this iconic inflatable clear pink couch and him wearing a pink robe and just GOD what a mood, i want a room like this!! the chair reminds me a lot of the type of fun quirky furniture i fantasized about and incorporated into my drawings as a kid when i was around 8-11, probably because i got inspired by stuff like totally spies and polly pocket, which had all these designs clearly inspired by 60s and 70s space age design but more in pink and purple i guess.
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also i hate the search for such stills bc even w safe search on, you still have godawful f3tish drawings depicting those kids from totally spies ending up in search results and it’s disgusting. but yeah it reminded me of that
youtube
when i say polly pocket, i particularly mean this quik-clik (magnetic clothes and hair) era in 2005 which was what i had some stuff from. i had that couch / movie night! set and the pool and that
also i just really like hobi’s room because with all the posters and cabinets and clothing items laid out and a carpet and fun colours and whatnot, it really feels like an actual room you could live in, unlike any of the other rooms which feel very empty or too minimalist to me. but YEAH hobi’s room is my fav, i love the way a fuller room feels more cozy and habitable and floaties and inflatable floaties are AMAZING
2. jin’s room
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jin’s room is so prettyyyy!! jins explanation of the room was very uhm confident and funny but i love that. the couch looks like a lilac shell, which makes sense as everything else looks very pearlescent. i really love cool-toned pastels like lilac, powder / baby blue, periwinkle and everything just looks like it’s part of a waiting hall for mermaids or something. there’s also gems in it which took me a while to realize bc i only noticed the glass chandelier and lamp but then i saw them in his hand nd on the table. i dont rly care abt gems / jewels but overall i just love how this whole room speaks ‘pretty‘ to me. robes are always a plus. as i was writing this, i was also reminded of hair extension mullet jin with iridescent clothing and all and that is actually my all time fav photoshoot / look of him. him saying he’s the gem of the room makes sense too as he’s sitting in the shell like a pearl. jin pretty pretty mermaid
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ok from here on its getting harder bc place 3-8 is not so much abt which is nicer but which one actually makes me feel any emotion bc i just feel too exhausted for excitement over comebacks or anything really. also minimalism doesnt make me feel anything either. but ill try
3. jungkook’s room
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ok ive been staring at a screen w few sleep for too long so ill try to go through my ranking faster bc ive been working on this post for too long, also partially bc i cant focus nd partially bc theres some i just rly dont feel much for but i feel bad for ranking one lower than the other or ranking smth higher when ive talked to someone who dislikes a room i like dghkfdf
but yeah i like jungkooks room! its a very intense blue tht might make you depressed if youre in it too long but again i love how theres multiple items stacked in the bg and intense blue lights, and the ceiling looks like it has soundproof padding. its like youre in a recording studio or at some vaguely nostalgic party of a friend of my mom, who had plants in her home nd rock music nd the tv on and was smoking nd it was a bit dark and mysterious. i like it, it intrigues me a bit nd makes me miss going to concerts. also this pic rly just reminds me of 2008-2010 pop music videos where theres always a party and dj and people are wearing sunglasses or something and theres a dance break at the end
4. yoongi’s room
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also blue!! the first time i saw this pic it was bc someone sent it to me to say how ugly they thought the decoration / editing looked w the metallic dripping stuff from the couch and whatnot but i kinda like it :( i like his velvety clothing and the light blue in the rest of the room is really pretty. i like mirror themes when done well nd i like how the reflectiveness shows also in the metallic dripping nd metallic spheres and the mirror hes standing on nd the way light reflects on his clothes and from the lamp. only the lamp feels a bit too much like a contemporary art installation for me nd his room already is a bit too empty for my liking nd i had the feeling when i watched the vid of him walking through the room that there was not much to interact w in the room like it was a bit dull. his voice in the explanation videos made it feel more like a place of peace / solitude rather than boredom or loneliness though.
5. namjoon’s room
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ehh i think place 5, 6 and 7 are interchangable at this point. namjoon woulve ranked lowest but i listened to his explanation videos and saw him goof around in today’s video and appreciated it a bit more. the room still looks quite minimalist and not super comfortable, like youre not allowed to touch anything there (which is the same for jin i guess but i dont view that as smth meant to look like a living room). i do like how the wood theme is present throughout each wall nd in various items and w the windows nd use of space it feels a bit inspired by japanese interior design and that that is inspired by his bonsai tree nd love for woodwork, but im not sure. i was actually quite shocked some of his explanations were so short. so yeah i place this 5th bc i like how coherent the theme is but it doesnt feel cozy or inviting nd still very cold to me, maybe bc it looks too expensive or minimalistic in terms of colours.
6. jimin’s room
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i like the flowers but also i dont like tiny flowers nd they tend to be the stinkier ones. i kind of like how jimins room feels the most like a grandma one w all the flowers nd offwhite and the lamp and beige i think? but the colours are so muted and if anything it feels like a place for a bridal photoshoot nd im just so bored. i love jimin nd feel bad for ranking a room he curated so low but it rly creates no serotonine in my brain, just melatonine bc im sleepy. i like how the room i obviously quite packed w stuff, but then the washed out colours make everything still look very bleak. hmm. i do like how the flowers reach outside the borders unlike w any of the others’ photos. im about to fall asleep so let me quickly finish this post
7. tae’s room
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the picture in the middle behind him is interesting nd i dont know how he made that, nd i do like how he described his room as a place where there would always be enough food for visitors. i know it’s meant to communicate some highbrow, artsy vibe but w the weird editing and lightning nothing looks real in the room he’s in (including himself, like it doesnt even look like hes in the room) and it just looks kitschy instead of artsy. yeah i dont gravitate towards this one, it’s like deep-fried and desaturated at the same time nd i tend to avoid looking at it subconsciously
8. the first room photo
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i first posted a long description here why but it disappeared but in short. this photo evokes no emotional response to me other than think of kind of crappy hotel rooms i was in w my parents while on vacation nd we slept in the same room or something nd the beds were awful nd made my moms chronic pain worse. the clothing is very boring and so r the colours of the room. i know bangtan curated stuff but its still the least interesting photo to me, maybe im too depressed to feel anything idk
im sorry this was prob very boring TT_TT i tried my best to make a ranking but i rly dont know nor care as much as i would want to
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mackwritess · 3 years
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Westwood Road (Part 2)
A/N: I’m back with a second part! This was another commission, I didn’t think people liked the first part enough to want more of these two, but I guess I was wrong! My commissions are still open, with three slots available currently, so if you like what I do feel free to hit me with your own requests!
Summary: It’s been years since the incident on Westwood Road, and the two of them have long since gone their separate ways. But when an opprotunity to be reunited presents itself, will the risks be worth the reward?
Word count: 5.8k
Part 1
He doesn’t know how long he sits in the dark.
For all he knows, the dark is all he’s ever known. He sits there, waiting. Waiting for what exactly, he doesn’t know for sure. He just feels like this is the calm before the storm. Though he feels, upon thinking about it a bit longer, that this is more like the eye of the storm. 
After all, he was just killed by someone he loved. 
No, that doesn’t quite sound right either. He does still love her. He knows he probably shouldn’t, given the way she had just ripped him apart like a rabid animal, but he can’t bring herself to harbor any negative feelings about her. His only regret is not asking how she’d ended up in such a tragic situation. If the tears that streamed down her face as she finished him off were anything to go by, it must have been devastating. 
He continues to just sit there in the all encompassing darkness. He wonders if he’ll ever be reunited with her again. He wonders if he’ll ever get to see her smile again, or hear her voice.
While he’s lost in thought, memories drifting in and out of his mind, he doesn’t notice the way things are beginning to grow brighter around him. He doesn’t notice until the light is near blinding, and he finds himself losing consciousness again. 
~
It’s been years since she did what she did.
She’d convinced herself that she would move on and, in a way, she has. She continues to feed, preying on men and women alike as she sustains herself on their souls. In all this time, none of them had the same effect on her. She was able to do the same process that she had done with him with very little trouble. She was so certain this meant she had moved on.
Deep down she knew she hadn’t. 
Even after all this time, the way he had looked at her before she took his life sits at the back of her mind, coming forward at the worst possible moment without fail. 
Sometimes it comes to her just before she falls asleep, rendering her unable to do so for several hours, if she gets to at all. Other times, it comes when she’s about to feed, when she’s already planning where she’ll go to catch her next one. Suddenly, her prey becomes the predator, looking back at her with his forgiving eyes rather than the terrified ones they’d replaced. She’s taken back to the moment before she committed what she considers to be her greatest sin. Though he wasn’t fully composed, the fear of death as paralyzing as ever, his eyes told a different story. It was one of forgiveness, of acceptance. 
It was one of love. 
Sometimes she wonders if she’ll ever see him again. Perhaps he’d be traveling the world as a spirit, unable to move on from his mortal dwelling. Though she figures he’s likely become an angel by now. Helping others where he can, protecting them from things that may come to harm them. Protecting them from beings like her.
She knows he couldn’t have become something like her. It’s not in his nature.
While he had been able to accept his end, remembering all their moments together with fondness rather than regret, she hadn’t been able to do the same. Instead of remembering any good that had happened between her and the man that had ended her life, she found herself thinking about all the red flags that she had looked past. The way she had ultimately pushed away her friends and family who tried to warn her floated through her mind. She wished she’d listened to them. 
Now she was doomed, her soul tainted with spite and vengefulness. She was to wander the earth, inflicting the same pain tht had been done unto her, only able to survive by causing heartbreak that could rival her own. 
She wonders if the man who killed her had wanted to do the same. Reveling in the damage he had done to her, for fun rather than for survival. She thinks he was her first encounter with a demon. No person could be that evil without corruption. Though she fears she’s become like him.
She wonders if the cycle will ever break. If she’ll ever be free of her curse.
~
When he wakes up again, he’s disoriented.
The room is covered in a blinding white. The white curtains that hang in front of the window move slightly, a light breeze flowing into the room. There’s not a single sound coming from inside or outside of the room. He takes in his minimal surroundings, noting the chair sitting at the edge of the bed. The walls are as bare as the rest of the room, save for a rather intricate painting of clouds that rests near the door. It’s redundant, he thinks. It’s as if whoever was responsible for designing this pace felt it was too plain, but decided any sort of color would disturb the flow of the room. 
He continues scanning the room, searching for something, anything, that could tell him where he is, when there’s a knock at the door. He freezes. Should he be hiding right now? Would making any sounds alert whoever, or whatever was on the other side of the door? 
As if able to sense his apprehensiveness, the door opens slightly. It continues slowly, and he doesn’t dare move an inch. When it does open, he’s met with a young woman. She wears a simple white dress, and carries a clipboard with a few sheets of paper attached to the front of it. 
“There’s no need to be alarmed,” she says. “You’re safe now.”
“Where am I?” He asks immediately. He can’t quite explain it, but her presence soothes him instantly. He finds any worries he has have melted away, and now he only has questions that need answers.
“Heaven, of course. You do know that you’re dead, right?” He nods. “Well, you’re certainly handling this better than most people your age do.”
“I didn’t think heaven would be so… clinical.”
“We’ve tried modernizing the way we welcome new angels.”
“It’s a little…”
“Plain?”
“Yeah.”
“There’s no real reason for that. Just how it is.” He nods again. “Were those all your questions?”
“What’s the clipboard for?”
“Oh! That’s actually what I’m here to go over with you. You see, once you die, the place you end up after assigns a job to you.”
“So we don’t just get to enjoy the afterlife?”
“You do, just as long as you’re on top of assignments. It’s just so we can keep things running smoothly. Gives the people here a purpose.”
“So it’s like having a job.”
“Exactly! Only the payment is living in paradise.”
He considers this for a moment. Everything he’d been told about what Heaven is like has been a little misleading, it would seem. Though, he guesses that angels who visited humans in all the stories he’d heard were just doing their job. He tries not to think too hard about what that implies.
“So how do I choose my job?”
“Oh, you don’t choose. Your assignment is chosen when it’s decided where you’ll go after you die. Easier to get both of those examinations done in one go. Much faster that way.” 
“But what if someone gets a job they aren’t happy with?”
“They learn to be happy with it eventually. Each job is rewarding in its own way.”
“I guess so.”
“You’ll understand more the longer you stay.” The woman clears her throat. “Now then! Let’s talk about your job. Your file says that you tend to go out of your way to help people. You were fairly popular in high school. A shame that you died so young. You really didn’t get to live much of your life.”
“I’d rather not think about that too much.”
“Your manner of death, though, that’s what really interests us.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Oh, this is a great thing. It’s the reason you’re getting the job you’re getting. We’ve been trying to deal with this type of demon for a while now. So many souls, unable to be saved.”
“Why?”
“Well, we don’t really base where you’ll go on your whole life. We base it on your emotions during your final moments. Really says a lot about you as a person. Much more than you realize.”
“So the people who died the way I did? What were they feeling?”
“Rage. Vengeance. Bloodlust. They wanted the person who had betrayed them to pay for what they’d done. They wanted them to suffer as they had.”
“But isn’t that normal? Isn’t it reasonable to be angry that someone you loved would hurt you?”
“Maybe. But forgiveness should follow. That’s what we’ve all been taught. And that’s why you’re the only one who’s been saved.”
“The only one?”
“Understanding. Acceptance. Forgiveness. Those were the last things you felt before your death. We’d never seen that before. More interesting, though, you felt love. You were still under the spell of that demon.”
“A spell?” His voice raises slightly at the mention of her. “She never used any spell on me. I love her.”
The woman eyes him for a moment, mild concern written on her features. 
“You poor boy. One day you’ll be free.”
“From what?”
“Nothing. Now, your job is similar to a guardian angel, albeit a bit more dangerous. You’ll be helping more people free themselves from these demons. Or, at the very least, you can warn them by telling them what will happen if their emotions lean too negatively when the time finally comes.”
“Okay. I think I can do that. But why is it so dangerous?” 
“In doing your job you're essentially taking away a demon’s source of food. Much like a wild animal, this will make them more dangerous. We usually leave a job like this to our more experienced angels, but seeing as you know first hand how these demons work, you should be just fine.”
He’s silent for a moment. He didn’t think there were very many demons who operated the way she did. Certainly not enough to cause such a problem that it would be considered dangerous. His heart hurts at the thought of so many people suffering the way she had. He wonders if there’s a way for him to help the demons themselves as well as their prey. 
“Will I ever find her again?” He opts to ask.
“I doubt that. None of us know her name?”
“What? But-”
“Demon’s names hold power. If someone knows the true name of a demon, then they’re basically owned by that person. They usually go by cover names.”
“And you don’t know hers?”
“No, I do. But you can’t know that information. You could end up going rogue, and we can’t have an asset as valuable as you doing something like that.” 
“Rogue?”
“You know them as fallen angels. You’d essentially become a powerful demon. I’m sure you can understand why we wouldn’t want such a thing.”
“Could a demon become an angel?”
“That’s not possible. Their place was already decided. There is no way for them to rise in status, no matter how much they believe they have redeemed themselves.”
“But that’s-”
“I know. It seems harsh, judging someone based on a single moment. But that’s the way things are here.” 
He’s speechless. He wamts to do this job, that much is for sure. He wants to save people from having everything taken from them the way he had. He’s got all the motive he needs to do the tasks given, not really afraid of the potential danger of this new proffession.
He just wishes there was a way from him to save her.
~
This is probably the worst attempt at feeding she’s had to suffer through in a long time.
It seemed easy enough when she first stumbled across him. A strange man who’d never even been in a relationship. He would be quick work, she’d thought. He’d fall for her in a week, three at the most. That’s what she’d assumed. 
It’s been about four weeks now, and she can’t lure the guy away from his house for long enough to finish the job.
It wouldn’t be as bad, all things considered, if the guys weren't also a total freak. He’s definitely not someone she feels any sympathy for. He’d started pressuring her into sleeping with him a week into the relationship, which would’ve been the first red flag to anyone who knew how to spot them. She’d managed to convince him that she wanted to wait, and he agreed, deciding that her reluctance made her more “worthy” of him when the time came.
She thinks he’s full of shit.
She’s tried everything to lure him away, from telling him that she wanted to take him out to dinner to telling him that she had some sort of surprise for him that needed to happen outside the city. Just her luck she’d find prey that was essentially a hermit. She’d only come across him when he was out buying computer parts. Today, though, she was at her limit. 
It was when he’d berated her for her choice in clothing, a simple tank top and jeans combination, that she’d decided that she’d let his pathetic existence go on for much longer than what was necessary. 
It takes finally giving in to his request of hooking up with her to pull him away from the basement he was living in. She imagines his soul won’t be particularly tasty, but at this point, she’s more worried about having someone like him taking up valuable space on earth than anything else.
She brings him to the outskirts of the city, his greasy hands finding their way all over her body on the way. She can’t wait to be done with him. He’s so focused on trying to make her focus on him that he doesn’t notice the way her eyes flash red with every press to her skin.
She’s so focused on trying not to kill the man right then and there that she doesn’t notice she’s being watched.
~
She managed to convince him that allowing him to tie her up would be a good idea, and he agreed, noticing that the building they’re in is run down, but too concerned with what he thinks is about to happen to interrupt her. 
“C’mon, Miranda, when do we get started? I’ve gotta be back home for this tournament.”
She flinches at the use of her name, or at least what he thinks is her name. Somehow it doesn’t make her feel any less dirty. 
“Oh, you poor soul, you don’t realize the danger you’re in. Not that it matters.”
“What danger? Does this building have asbestos or something? Why would you bring us here, are you really that stupid?”
Her eye twitches at the comment, but she makes the decision to ignore it. He’s the fool here, after all.
“It’s not that you should be worried about, though you’re probably right about the chemicals. This building has been around for centuries. Great place to harvest a soul.” The man lets out a nervous chuckle.
“What are you, like, one of those fake vampire people?” 
“A vampire? You don’t even know enough to know what it is they do? The most explored mythical creature in existence?”
“I don’t need the likes of you telling me what I do and don’t know. Let me go, you’ve ruined the mood. Maybe I’ll let you try again in a week.”
“You still don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what? Let me out of here!”
“Ah, you’re another one that doesn’t get it. Frankly, I’ve wasted enough time on you, so I’ll just spell it out for you. I’m a demon and I’m here to consume your soul.” His eyes widen, but he says nothing. She continues. “Ideally I would’ve been done with you a week ago. But you’re such a pathetic waste of a person that I couldn’t even get you out for long enough.”
“So this is what you do? Trick men so you can eat us?”
“Yup. You made the hard part easy, too. You were wrapped around my finger the second I rejected you. Strange behavior, if you ask me.”
“You bitch, you won’t get away with this!”
“You’re not even that original. A misogynist named Kyle? Give me a break”
Her eyes begin to change from their warm brown to a harsh crimson. She opens her mouth, rows of inhumanly sharp teeth appearing seemingly out of nowhere. When she does, she can feel her body begin regaining energy, his soul draining from his body and entering hers. She watches as the life drains from his eyes, growing duller the more of his soul he loses. When the light is gone, she reverts back to her human form, and breathes a sigh of relief.
“Wow, that was exhausting. Never going after one of these types ever again.”
“That’s a good idea. I didn’t like the way he treated you.”
She freezes. It’s happening again. She hasn’t imagined his voice in such a long time. It hasn’t crossed her mind in months. Why now? Why after all this time? 
“I know you’re not real,” She says. “I’m just hearing things again. Go away.”
“Again? So you’ve heard me before?”
“You know I have.”
“How could I know that? I haven’t seen you since the day I lost you.”
“Since you lost me... You don’t talk like that. Where’s the ‘you did this to me’ speech?”
“Turn around. I’m real.”
She’s unconvinced. She knows this is her mind playing a dirty trick on her. A simple rewording of what it usually tells her won’t get her hopes up. Still, she decides to play along. She turns, slowly, like a model on a runway showing off their every angle. She figures that she’s already on the edge of her sanity as it is, and she closes her eyes too, making it a bit of a game. Her turning comes to a stop.
“Alrighty, go ahead and tell me when I can open my eyes. Really make me look even more unhinged than I feel. Let’s have fun with this.”
~
He can’t believe that after all this time, she’s right in front of him.
She’s just as beautiful as he remembered. He’d just watched her consume a soul, a soul which he’d been sent to save, but he can’t find himself feeling anything other than pure joy at the sight of her. He thanks his lucky stars that he was assigned to this case, he was starting to lose hope that he would ever see her again. 
He’s thinking about what she said. She’d been hearing his voice before he found her. Killing him really had taken a toll on her, it would seem. At this realization, he thinks back to what he had been told so long ago.
“Her kind don’t form connections to the people they kill,” the woman says. “They’re heartless creatures. It’s best that you accept that now rather than finding out later.”
“Is it just something that doesn’t happen often? Or is it difficult for them to do it?”
“No. It’s impossible. You really need to let that girl go. She’s out there right now forming the same type of relationship with other people as she did with you. You were nothing but something for her to use.”
“Right. A food source.”
“Exactly. You’ll feel better once you move on. For now, just focus on your work.”
He did exactly that. He’d managed to save many people in the time since he'd begun his job. Luckily, he’s been able to avoid every demon he’s managed to swindle out of a meal. Until now, that is.
This is the first mission he’s ever failed. Surely, he would be questioned about what happened, and he knew he would have to make something up. But seeing the way this particular person acted, especially after he found out it was her he was talking about in such a disrespectful way, he decided he had no qualms about letting him die, taking advantage of his luck so that he could get the answers to his questions. He needed to know if he really should be moving on, or if he should be looking for a cure.
“You can open your eyes. It really is me,” He says. She scoffs.
“You better leave me alone for good after this.” She wastes no time in letting her eyes fly open. When she does, she looks unimpressed. “Oh, you haven’t done this little trick in a while. I suppose you expected me to run forward only for you to turn to dust, right?”
“You can touch me. I’m real. I came to see you.”
“Prove it then. Walk forward. All the way over here to me. I’m just dying to see what you’ll do when you get here.” 
He obeys immediately, making his way over and resisting the urge to run over to keep from alarming her. He stands right in front of her now, and she continues to give him the same unimpressed gaze. She still doesn’t believe what she’s seeing. 
It’s when he makes the bold move to wrap his arms around her that she goes quiet.
~
This isn’t real. It can’t be real. This is just an intense delusion of hers. 
He’s warm, that’s the first thing she takes note of. He’s got a tight hold on her, almost as if he’s afraid that he’ll leave him again. Against her better judgement, she leans into his embrace, taking in his scent.
“You’re real,” she says. “You’re really here.”
“I’m real,” he confirms. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“But why?” She asks. “I’m the reason you ended up this way. You’re supposed to hate me.”
“I could never hate you. Not when I understand why you do what you do. I won’t punish you for doing something out of your control.” 
She finds herself relaxing in his hold. She hasn’t been able to relax in such a long time. It’s not what she was made to do. It’s entirely out of her nature to do such a thing. She’s never been able to stick to her own rules when it comes to him, though. Still, she pushes him away.
“You shouldn’t be here. Not with me. You could get in trouble.”
“You’re worried about me?”
“Of course I am, don’t be ridiculous.”
He seems to consider her words for a moment. 
“I need you to listen to me, okay?” She thinks a moment before nodding. “There’s a way for me to cure you, I know there is, but I need to know that this is what you want.”
“What? That’s not possible.”
“No, there’s a way. I just need time. I’m not gonna let them keep us apart like this. I just need you to trust me.”
She already trusts him, though. She doesn’t need any convincing. She only worries about what will happen to him if he’s caught. 
“You can’t help me. It’s against your rules. You could get in serious trouble.”
“I don’t care. As long as your burden is lifted, I’ll be happy.” She says nothing. “I’m going to get you out of this. But we’ll need to be apart again for some time. Stay safe until that day.”
She doesn’t bother arguing with him. He’s always been this way, setting his mind to something and not stopping until he gets what he wants. It’s a trait of his that she always admired. She’s afraid that this time, it may be his downfall. He’s challenging forces he’s only just begun to understand. 
But she’s tired of them too. She doesn’t care what happens to her, but if this is something that can cause a change, she’ll do it.
“Okay,” she says. “I want this. I trust you.”
He grabs her by the waist and pulls her close to him again, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead, before backing away again. 
“I’ll see you soon. I promise.” With the flash of a bright light, he disappears, leaving her alone with nothing but her thoughts, and the shell of the soul she had eaten.
For the first time since she lost him, she breaks down.
~
When he returns home, the first thing he does is report what happened to him.
Not all of it, of course, he can’t mention that he’d finally found her. That would only anger them. They would likely restrict his activities, making his mission more difficult than it likely already will be. The people in charge tell him that because of his great work in other cases, one failed case was nothing to worry about, so he could just go about his day until he received his next assignment. 
While he waited, he went to visit the person who would help him to do what he needed to do. He knocks lightly on the door, and upon hearing the quiet “come in” on the other side of the door, he lets himself in
“Oh, it’s you again. Don’t tell me you’re here to find more ways around the curse.” The woman says.
After being here for several years now, he’s met tons of people. Though, he’s never bonded with someone the way he has with Kora, an elderly woman whose death came to her in her sleep. In her life she had been a witch doctor, dabbling in spells that could transform things into different objects, cause misfortune for others, and yes, lift curses. 
“I don’t need to do that.”
“Sure,” Kora says. “I just made tea, come have some.”
He sits down at her kitchen table, and she turns to pour him a cup, placing it in front of him before pouring one for herself and taking a seat. 
“I really don’t need to find a way around the curse, Kora. I found her today. She wants to do this.”
Kora looks up at him, expecting him to tell her he was just joking. But when she sees the way his eyes sparkle, unbridled hope written in them, she knows he’s serious. She lets out a sigh.
“Well, I did say I’d help you. I’m a woman of my word.” He smiles. “But you’re risking a lot here. If it doesn’t work, you could risk everything. Not just for you, but for both of you.”
“That’s fine. Whatever it is, we can handle it.”
“So, it’s not the procedure that takes much effort. It’s the aftermath. The main step is finding the man who killed her, in order for her vengeance to be achieved. Lucky for you, he’s still alive.”
“Sounds easy enough. It didn’t take much for her to tear me up,” he says with a chuckle.
“However, once she does this, she’ll be reborn. This would separate the two of you, leaving you behind to deal with the consequences, on top of defeating the purpose of you doing this.”
“I can’t accept us getting separated from each other. Not again.”
“There is a way for the two of you to be reborn together. But it is difficult. You’ll have to have bonded to her. Seeing as she’s a demon, the only way for you to do that is for you to get her name.”
“She didn’t even tell me that when we were alive.”
“That’s what I’m worried about. In the end, will she have trusted you enough to give you this information? Will she love you enough to make herself so vulnerable?” He says nothing. “Even so, there’s no guarantee that in your next life the two of you will meet. That will also depend on how strong your bond is. You could end up in entirely different countries, even.”
He thinks about this. Now that he knows what will be required, he’s hit with the weight of what exactly it is he’s risking here. If he’s unsuccessful, he'll have to face the wrath of the angels he’d betrayed. If he succeeds, he doesn’t even know if he’ll get the result he’s really after.
But then he thinks of her. No matter the outcome, she’ll be freed from her curse. She’ll get to live the life she didn’t get to before. More than his desire to be with her, he wants her to have the life she deserves.
“I’ll do it. I don’t care about the risks. I’m going to do it.” Kora sighs.
“Alright, then. I’ll tell you where the man is, but the rest is up to you.” He rises from his seat and makes his way over to her, wrapping her in a tight hug.
“I’ll be okay, Kora. Everything will be fine.”
He makes his way out of her home after talking a bit more with her. He knows that regardless of what happens, he won’t see her again after this. 
She watches him leave, and for his sake, she hopes that if she is to hear about him again, it won’t be a story of a young man who risked everything for the wrong person.
~
When they arrive at their destination, she feels a chill run up her spine.
It’s late. They wanted to be certain that no one would be around when they did what they came to do. Things would be less messy that way.
“He’s in a church?” He asks, confused. She rolls her eyes.
“I expect nothing less from him. He always did hide behind a facade. This is the best one yet.”
The two of them head in, and hide amongst a few churchgoers that linger inside. She assumes that there was a late night church service being held here. They must’ve come at the end, and she’s thankful. The thought of having to actually listen to him pretend to be a good man makes her sick to her stomach. 
They linger until the church is empty, and she sees him head to the back, leading to the basement that she knows all too well. She grabs his hand and leads him in that direction, bringing him to the door that leads deeper into the church.
“Are you sure you’re ready to face him again?’
“I’m sure. It’s about time I see him again. This is long overdue.” Her eyes flash red for a moment, and he decides to stop asking questions.
She pushes the door open, and makes her way down the stairs with him following close behind her. She sees the man at the back of the room, rifling through boxes, and wastes no time in letting him know she’s here.
“Well, well, well.” The man freezes. “Been a while since we were down here, huh? Sure brings back memories, doesn’t it?”
“You’re not real. You’re not real. You’re not real,” the man mutters to himself.
“Oh, so you do feel guilty about what you did to me? Could’ve fooled me. Your little holy man cosplay is quite interesting.”
“Why are you here?”
“Look me in the eye, coward.” Afraid of provoking her, he turns to face her, slowly. “Much better.”
“How are you here? What are you?”
“This question gets more annoying the more i hear it, you know. Figure it out yourself, holy man.”
“What do you want from me? Please go away.”
“Oh no. Not yet. See him?” she points to where he stands, standing a little distance behind her. “I want you to tell him what you did to me.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Tell him why you thought my life needed to end.”
“I had to. You know what would have happened.” the man turns to him. “She knew what she was doing.”
“You didn’t have to do anything.”
“They would have disowned me!”
“So a little premarital sex is an issue, but murder is cool? Got it. Anything to keep your dirty little secret, right?”
The room is silent. Now that the truth is out there, now that he knows what happened to her, he understands why no one knows her name. 
“I guess I should’ve expected this, right?” She continues, “After getting involved with the preacher’s son? And you got to go on, right? Continued living? Taking up after your dad? And what did I get? Cursed. Dooming people to the same fate you forced me into. But today, that changes.”
“You dare to claim that what I did wasn’t justified? You wanted to ruin me!”
“I wanted to be with you. In public. I didn’t wanna be a secret.”
“You convinced me to commit a sin. You haven’t earned the right to love, I could’ve been great. Instead, I’m stuck in this town, in the middle of nowhere, trying to make up for something that you did.”
“You did this to yourself.” she says. Her eyes quickly change to that harsh red he had seen before, and he knows what’s about to happen before the man does. “I don’t need to prove my worth. To you, or to anyone. You were nothing in life, and now, you’ll be nothing in death.”
Before he can even get a word in, she’s latched onto him, ripping him apart in the very same room where her existence was cut short.
~
A few moments of silence go by before she begins to glow slightly. 
“It’s happening. I did it, I broke the curse.”
“You did. You’re free now.”
“But what about you? Why aren’t you glowing too?”
“We haven’t bonded enough. It’s okay though, I wouldn’t have wanted you forced into doing something. You’ve been through enough.”
“No! No, tell me. I’ll do it.” He knows she won’t, but she won’t remember him when she’s reborn anyway.
“I needed your name.”
She looks at him. She’s so close, so close to being free from that person. She can’t be bound to her again. She can’t say her name. 
Taking note of her silence, He grabs the sides of the face, and pulls her in for a kiss, putting everything he has into it, as he knows it’ll be the last time. He whispers an “I love you” before looking her in the eyes to be sure she knows.
It’s at this moment, as her glow is becoming blinding, that she realizes this is a decision she can make herself. Finally, she’s the one who gets to make a choice. Instead of misery, this time, she chooses happiness. She just hopes it isn’t too late.
“My real name is..”
~
Somewhere, in another part of the world, a baby girl is born to a family that had been trying to conceive a child for years. They know this is the most precious gift they’ll ever receive.
Minutes later, in that same hospital, a baby boy is born. 
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vyrannn-blog · 5 years
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I had just complained about having to clean up the basement after me and my friends hung out because there wasn’t a mess
She then texted me:
Mom:hey set your phone out for me. Unacceptable to not go do what i ask you to do. If your room and the basement isn’t super cleaned up (and bird stuff) no friends over tomorrow...
Me: i was literally just going to go down there? and i need to wake up tomorrow and practice so i need my phone. don’t just assume that i’m never going to do something if i don’t do it immediately it’s rude.
Mom: It’s rude the way you are speaking to me, and rude to ignore me as i ask you to do something and walk away. I would hope and expect the same amount of kindness and respect you give to your dad. I’m the one (with lindsay) who helps you and provides for you and i hear you always treat your dad so much better. That hurts.
Me: the way i speak to you is the level of respect you have for me and my privacy and my feelings. i wouldn’t be so passive aggressive if you respected me more and i needed to get ready for bed and i was about to go down and clean the basement (even though there wasn’t a mess) right before you texted me. you have a weird mindset where you think if i don’t do something immediately i’m never going to do it. and i treat dad better because he respects my privacy and if i don’t want to tell him something he doesn’t keep pushing it.
Mom: We will talk about this tomorrow. Goodnight love you.
Me: no, we won’t.
Mom: Yes we will *kissy face*
-next day-
Me: i need two white t-shirts for marching band by tomorrow.
-she had yelled for me because she wanted to talk, and i thought that she wanted to talk about what we had talked about the day earlier, not the shirts so when she told me to come to her i asked why and she said “because” instead of explaining why, so i said “no”-
Mom: That’s the kind of thing i was talking about for disrespect. When you’re asked to do something by a parent you do it politely and respectfully. Don’t expect me to get things for you and allow friends etc when you act like that. You’re grounded today, no friends over or you don’t go anywhere. When i get home I’ll have your phone for the rest of the day.
Me: i’m not your slave
Mom: It’s basic obedience and respect Brykelle
Me: I don’t “have” to respect or like you at all. there is no rule that i have to enjoy being around you or talking to you, and i don’t get why you need to talk to me
Mom: You are correct, you don’t have to like me but as your mom you should respect and i would hope love me. I’ve never done anything but love you and try to help you. Your dad has done the most horrible things and train wrecked our lives that everyone has done so well to keep on moving forward ad doing awesome. You seem to forgive him and be kind to him yet often don’t to me. I just needed to ask you about the shirts.
Me: don’t try to blame this on dad, and yeah dad has done some messed up stuff but that doesn’t mean he’s a bad person and he at least treats me like an actual human person
Mom: I’m not trying to blame anything or anyone just trying to show you as a comparison. I’m clearly not a bad person either, and i certainly treat you well and do anything i can for you. For sure we can do a better job it just needs to go both ways. My point was for whatever you feel i do wrong I would hope to get the same courtesy, kindness and forgiveness as you give dad who’s done much more horrible things if that makes sense
-i had made some plans with friends that i hadnt seen in forever a few days prior-
Me: so my friends, that i haven’t seen for two months, can’t come over?
Mom: Sorry, not until we have talked through and have an understanding... got to have some respect and mutual understanding going. When you choose to speak to me the way you did last night and earlier today privileges/fun times are taken away...
Me: oh ok i see so basically i’m going to be forced to act like i like you or i won’t be able to be with my friends or do anything that is remotely interesting and my brain will slowly rot and i’ll go insane. makes sense
Mom: Haha. As i said before... it’s basic respect and the way you should treat your parents. Ask all the older kids... it’s all the same and a common thing. Sorry I’ve not done a better job to help you understand your parents. They’ve gone through the same thing - I’m sure they will tell you... better to figure it out and it will save you a lot of grief
Me: i don’t “have” to treat anyone with respect unless they’ve proven they should be, and i’m not going to “figure it out” with you
Mom: Whenever you’re ready...but until then it will be resorted to no friends and likely lose your phone too. Most of the time you’re respectful and kind... but there are times it’s unacceptable and basically I won’t put up with it. Dad would do the same. Ask the older kids once again... they will tell you who was tougher.
Me: i’ve already made plans with my friends, that’s not fair at all. me leaving the house doesn’t effect you and it shouldn’t be any of your concern, and talking to you would bring us to the same conclusion as us texting.
Mom: That’s what you’re not understanding, it is my concern. The quicker you learn to be kind, polite, do the simple and few things i ask of you then there is no problem. Talking is always better but I’ve been at work so that’s why I’m texting
Me: how is it your concern? if i’m out of the house i’m not making a mess, i’m not being too loud, i’m not bugging you and lindsay so i don’t understand why you care at all.
Mom: Literally if last night when I asked you to go down and make sure things were neat in the basement and you did it... all would have been fine. When I asked you today to come down and talk to me instead of saying “why” and “no”... and just coming down to talk - all would have been good.
Me: i didn’t want to talk to anyone at the time. i had a headache and being in the main room makes voices really loud and it hurt my head.
Mom: You never bug us. We want you to have fun wth your friends- but it’s a life lesson and  teenagers jobto learn to be respectful and obedient.
Me: i did clean the basement last night. you aren’t my boss.
Mom: Sorry, but as your mom I am the one who has the responsibility to teach you and help you learn what is right and the more you fight it the more difficult it will be. The sooner you understand and are kind etc then it will be no problem to be with friends etc
Me: keeping me from what makes me happy isn’t going to make me respect you. it will make me resent you and feel like you’re the thing keeping me from being happy. i’m very respectful of people that deserve to be respected.
Mom: That’s so sad that you don’t feel that wa. I don’t know what I’d ever done to you to deserve it. Dad hasn’t had to discipline you... I’ve had to bear all fo tht and been rather lax and easy on you. Most of the time you’re great - it’s just gotten a little out of control (which is typical for your age) and I’ve got to reign it in
Me: You’ve invaded my privacy, you’ve threatened to take away multiple things that make me happy multiple times, you mae me feel like all i am to you is something that makes messes and then you get mad when i don’t do things immediately  and that makes me hate doing things for you because you get mad so fast.
Mom: I’m sorry and will certainly try to do better. I can see how you’d feel that way. I’ve had to work, had to figure things out and so being gone a lot that happens sadly. I’ll try to do a better job. Maybe you can too.
Me: whenever i used to try to tell you and lindsay about things that i;m really excited or interested in you act like it doesn’t matter and it makes me feel like you don’t care about my interests and opinions. that’s why i don’t like talking to you guys.
Mom: I would LOVE (and so does he) to hear about more of what you’re excited about and interested in. We will do better. I was just saying the othe day how we need to sit each night with you and Josh just to talk and hear about everyone’s day.
Me: but here’s the thing, i don’t like doing that anymore, i would’ve loved doing that two years ago but not anymore
Mom: We will have to get back to that point. I’m willing to try. Are you willing to try?
Me: no, you’ve ruined it for me
Mom: Well maybe you can change your mind. Sure hope so.
Me: our relationship is way too broken to fix so i’m not going to treat you any differently than i have. the thing you don’t understand is that all you have to do is give me food and a plae to sleep and most of the time i’ll figure the rest out myself. i don’t need to talk to you anymore because you’ve pushed me so far away that i’m closer to all of my friends than you now
Mom: That’s pretty sad. I would hope I’d get the same courtesy you extended Dad who’s done way worse things to ruin our family than i ever did.
Me: stop acting like dad’s a terrible person, he’s one of the most amazing kind and smart people i’ve ever known. he’s made some mistakes, but at least he understands how to raise kids.
Mom: I’m glad you have friends you’re close to, and that’s how it should be. Just know I love you and will always try to make things better.
Me: Sorry i didn’t mean it like that, i meant that as in he understands how to not make me feel like crap when i do something wrong. anyways can i please go skating with my friends tomorrow? you said i could yesterday but you said i was grounded a bit ago. we’ve been wanting to go for almost a month and we finally found a good day to do it and i don’t want to let them down
Mom: I’m on my way home, we will talk when I get there.
Me: i don’t want to
Mom: Sorry not an option
Me: see this is what i’m talking about. forcing me to have a conversation isn’t effective, and it’s a lot harder for me to talk to you in person
Mom: That’s fine, your choice. If you want to be able to hang out we will have to start talking and figuring things  out so let me know when you’re ready.
Me: i don’t think you read my last text correctly, i said i get anxious when i talk to you in person
Mom: Well that’s something you’ll have to overcome. But it’s normal I get it.
Me: if i could “overcome” it i would’ve by now. that’s like telling someone that’s afraid of heights to just “get over it”. you can text me when you get home but i’m not going to talk to you in person.
Mom: I’m home, I’m beat. I need to mow the lawn and shower. If you decide you’re ready to talk let me know. That’s one of the problems with phones these days... if we need we will shut it down for a while so you can learn to talk to your own mom. Like i said- it’s pretty easy to get to do the things you want and go the places you want when you’re willing to make a relationship work with the people who care for you most and take care of you... and make it possible to do the things you like to do.
Me: it’s not my phone’s fault it’s yours! i don’t get why you blame everything on my phone. the reason i don’t like talking to you in person is because you make me feel like i’m letting you down and that i’m not good enough no matter what i do or say
Mom: I’m very sorry and I told you you I’ll certainly try to do a better job. That’s on me for sure
-I’ll update when we text or interact next-
#l
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straykidsramblings · 6 years
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thirty-one days. [day one]
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Pairing: Frat Boy!Jungkook x Fem!Reader [college! au]
Genre: fluff
Word Count: ~2.5K
Summary: An exhausted college introvert who wants nothing more than to be left alone, [name] gives Jungkook thirty-one days to prove to her that they should be friends. Jungkook has other plans on his mind: to make her fall for him in thirty-one days.
Author’s note: I usually write in the feminine third person, but feel free to change it to however you wish. I’ll keep reader anatomy mentions to a minimum if any at all.
[0] [1] [2]
january 15.
[name]’s hands worked through her hair, rubbing the towel along her scalp to dry the [favorite shampoo]-scented hair. The sweatshirt she specifically bought one size too large, smothered her in a warmth that she adored. A quick workout followed by a soothing shower was the perfect way to start her morning... except for the fact that it was 7:30 in the morning and she couldn’t exactly get much sleep due to the gnawing reminder that Jeon Jungkook was sleeping right next door.
As stubborn as they come, [name] had refused to listen to her best friends, Jimin and Taehyung. About many things, really, but two were plaguing her current mental state.
A) Jimin warned her to not take an 8 a.m. class, but did she listen? No. Did she heed the advice of the older student, Yoongi? No. Did she learn from laughing at Taehyung as he made the same mistake last semester? Apparently not. Apparently, [name] [last name] was just as dumb as she was stubborn and, because of this, she doomed herself to an 8 a.m. class every Tuesday morning with one of the worst teachers her university had to offer.
B) Jeon Jungkook. Though the words hadn’t been said the night before (after all, you can’t just gossip about someone while they’re standing right in front of you), her best friends’ expressions should have been enough for her. Upon first meeting Jungkook, [name] was absolutely taken with his cute gentleman act. As it turns out, that’s all it was: an act.
With a sigh, [name] reached for her phone to read the texts from her best friends from last night again.
ChimChim: don’t say we didn’t try to warn u
Tae: yeah!! but u were so uwu about him tht we couldn’t ruin ur blissful ignorance
[name]: i hate u both
[name]: ok but other than the fact tht he’s a typical frat boi...
ChimChim: he keeps a list of all the girls he’s “conquered”
[name]: ...as in dated? or...
ChimChim: I leave that up to ur discretion
[name]: lovely. 🙄
Tae: u didn’t actually like him... did u?
[name]: I just met him last night. I don’t think that’s enough time to determine whether or not I like him.
[name]: point is i’m just not gonna get involved w him. not worth the mental or emotional exhaustion.
ChimChim: probs a wise decision.
ChimChim: but if he EVER tries anything with you TELL US.
[name]: Chim, what are u gonna be able to do? Ur the size of a squirrel esp compared to JK.
Tae: I can take him!!
[name]: Tae you had to call me over to your house to kill a bug go build a gingerbread house or somethin
[name]: as much as i love you guys i need to wake up early tmrw so good night <3
Jimin: you stubborn ass 😑😑
[name]’s [eye color] eyes glanced from her phone to the red hoodie that Jungkook had lent her the night before. A groan escaped her lips as she reminisced how close he was to her yesterday, helping her zip up the jacket. Feeling her heart flutter, she lightly slapped her chest.
“No, you stop that!” the young woman hissed at herself. 
An alarm on her phone warned her that her class was approaching. Turning off the alarm, she slipped into a pair of jeans and white Converse. In full honesty, she kept the sweatshirt on to keep her warm... and because she was too lazy to change. She grabbed a winter jacket and her backpack, full of supplies and books, and stepped out of her front door.
“Morning.”
The voice that greeted her was definitely not the one she wanted to hear. Turning to her left, she caught the mysterious brown eyes of Jeon Jungkook. Muttering a soft “good morning,” [name] turned to lock her door before setting off to her 8 a.m. class. To her chagrin, Jungkook seemed insistent on having a conversation.
“Where are you off to so early in the morning?” Jungkook asked, taking long strides effortlessly to keep up with the girl who had gotten a headstart.
“To a class,” was the curt response. She kept her eyes trained on the hallway ahead of her.
Although she was fully expecting to have to open the door to the stairwell by herself, Jungkook had beaten her to it. Manners won over her thoughts as she thanked him.
“Would that class happen to be an 8 a.m. class with Mr. Brinkerhoff?” Jungkook purred as the two began their three-floored descent.
Oh, no. Please, no.
[name] cleared her throat in an attempt to silence her thoughts. “If it is?”
With a cheeky smile, Jungkook’s eyes lit up with mischief as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.
“Then, I suppose we really should get used to seeing each other. Every Tuesday morning, bright and early!” 
The night before, [name] might have mistaken his smile for innocence, but now, all she saw were the eyes of a predator who was excited to play with his food. [name] made every attempt to stop the disgust and annoyance from showing on her face, but that must have failed.
Jungkook snickered. “Not exactly something you’re looking forward to, I’m assuming?”
[name] made numerous starts to explain herself as the two exited their apartment complex. Biting her bottom lip, [name] found herself at a loss for words. 
Finally, she said, “I doubt anyone is looking forward to an 8 a.m. class from Brinks.”
Jungkook hummed in response, knowing fully well that she was lying. “Was it something I said last night?”
[name] rolled her eyes to give him a disapproving look. Jungkook pursed his lips as he pretended to be in thought.
“Or was it the rumors that still seem to be circulating?” Jungkook guessed again.
“Okay, look, maybe I’m just really busy and am definitely not a morning person, and I’m just not looking forward to an 8 a.m. class every Tuesday,” [name] snapped, accelerating her pace slightly.
Jungkook easily matched it. Curse him and his long, stupid legs. “Okay, so definitely the rumors.”
Turning right at an intersection, they continued their leisure stroll to the building for [major] studies. From where she was, [name] could see the top of the building. Their campus was a fairly large size, bordered by a small, quiet town. Classes were about fifteen minutes from her apartment which, for Tuesdays at least, meant fifteen minutes of walking with Jeon Jungkook. Trees grew tall and created shade for students to enjoy on warmer days with picnic blankets or hammocks. In the winter, the lake froze over, and students would, albeit against the rules, ice skate or walk across it (of course, they tested the density first). 
[name] turned her head to shoot him a glare. “I never said that.”
Jungkook clicked his tongue. “Ah, but you did. Indirectly, of course. Your reaction said it all.” He took the time to speed up ahead of her just so he could walk backward and watch her face while they walked to the building that was too far away at this point. “You’re really easy to read, you know?”
[name] pouted. “I am not,” she said softly, eyes glancing towards the ground or the sky, or just anywhere that wasn’t his eyes. 
“Right now,” Jungkook mused, “you’re thinking that that building could not be any farther away.” That mischievous, arrogant smile returned to his face which only made her want to slap it away.
“Because I’m really lazy and I don’t like walking,” [name] insisted. Her grip on her backpack strip tightened with every half-truth that came out of her mouth.
And Jungkook was buying none of it. “You’re just dying to get away from me. Wow, what nasty rumors are swimming around, I wonder?” 
He finally turned his attention to the sky as he probably started imagining what rumors could possibly be circulating that would make [name] feel this uncomfortable around him. And who told her. 
Every second that passed, [name] could feel her pace quicken. Brisk steps brought her closer to the building that was soon becoming her safe haven. At this point, she couldn’t decide which was worse: an 8 a.m. class with Brinks, or being alone with Jungkook. Either way, she definitely did not want to be alone. 
"Listen--"
At the sound of her voice, Jungkook's complete attention was on the girl who suddenly felt insecure about not drying her hair completely before she left, the girl who was still wearing the sweatshirt she wore to bed. 
"I’m-I'm sorry, can you just walk normally?" [name] growled, growing annoyed with the fact that he stared at her with that fake doe-eyed look. Jungkook complied without a complaint, falling in step with her pace once more. [name] sighed. She might as well tell him the truth, leaving out the fact that Jimin and Taehyung were the ones to tell her, of course. "Yes, okay, I am a little bit uncomfortable around you. Yes, I did hear a bad rumor about you." Before he could speak, she cut him off. "Yes, I know not to trust rumors before just talking to the person, but it made sense with your status of frat boy..." 
Jungkook waited patiently to see if she had anything else to say. He seemed amused at the very least, but unlike [name], he wasn't as easy to read. 
"And then, there's the fact that you are part of a fraternity, and I just don't really socialize with those kinds of people. Or any kind of people, really, but that's not the issue here." Another sigh escaped her lips. Sighs seemed to accompany Tuesdays. "I just don't really know if I even have time to be in a relationship.”
At this, Jungkook finally reacted. In the worst way too. He laughed.
[name] eyed him suspiciously. "I'm sorry, was there something funny in what I just said?"
Jungkook shook his head as if to say no, but his laughter shook his whole body. The few other students roaming around turned to see who was the source of such a loud sound at 8 a.m. 
"No, no, I'm sorry. It's just, uh, I never said I wanted to start something with you," Jungkook answered, swallowing any remaining laughter as best as he could.
The heat ran to [name]'s cheeks as realization overcame her. She wanted to find a hole and just hid in it. Maybe the lake was warm enough to crack open beneath her feet. If she asked politely, maybe the ground would just split beneath her. All she wanted right now was to not be with Jeon Jungkook, especially not on the way to an 8 a.m. class with Brinks on a Tuesday morning.
The two continued to walk in silence until they finally reached the building, [name] attempting to ignore Jungkook the rest of the way. When they arrived, [name] made it a point to get to the door before Jungkook could open it for her. They took the flight of stairs to the second floor to find the classroom where Brinks would be teaching. Finding freedom in the fact that other people were even here, [name] took a seat at one of the middle tables, where she could see the board, but not be called out for doodling a little. For some bizarre reason, Jungkook found it absolutely necessary to take the seat next to her. 
"I'm sorry," were the first words that came out of his mouth. Good thing, too. "I shouldn't have laughed. That was immature of me."
"You think?" [name] spat, still bitter about the humiliation she just suffered. 
"Ouch," Jungkook chuckled softly, clutching his chest playfully. "I'm sorry if I came off that way. I'd really like us to be friends if that's okay."
"I don't know," [name] pondered aloud. It was her turn to be a bit immature. "Should I be friends with a guy who has a list of all the girls he's banged? Gee, I wonder."
"Ah, so that was the rumor," Jungkook murmured under his breath. "That's not true, just so you know."
For the first time since he laughed at her face, [name] looked at Jungkook. Still as beautiful, a bit less egotistical. 
Jungkook held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, you said it yourself. Better to hear from the source, right?"
"How do I know you're not lying?"
"Wow, tough crowd, eh? Guess I deserve it," Jungkook speculated. "You probably can't. But you can also choose to trust me when I say I do not have a list of all the girls that I've banged."
[name] said nothing, but started to unpack her notebook and pencil case to take notes. Jungkook waited until she was done, bouncing casually in his seat as if a song from his childhood was stuck in his head. When Mr. Brinkerhoff walked into the classroom at 8:01 a.m. to start his 8:00 a.m. class, Jungkook found himself a bit more anxious to get a reaction out of the girl. 
"Let me prove it to you," Jungkook suggested in a hushed tone.
"Prove what to me?"
"That I'm actually a good person," Jungkook replied. "Give me some time to prove to you that we should be friends."
[name] turned it over in her mind. Judging from what she'd seen, she didn't really have any reason to not believe that Jungkook was a good person. After all, if she really did think he was a bad person, she could have easily just gotten up to change seats. Instead, she made a conscious decision to stay where she was, and a part of her knew it wasn't just because she liked the seat. But the humiliation from minutes ago replayed in her mind, filling the capacity of her brain until it was all she could think about. She attempted to ignore the nostalgic heat rush to her cheeks. 
"A month," [name] finally whispered. "I will give you thirty days to prove to me that we should be friends."
"Thirty-one days," Jungkook argued with a cheeky grin.
Mr. Brinkerhoff's eyes lingered on them as he continued his lesson. [name] waited until his eyes turned to another unfortunate student who was dozing off in the very back of the classroom.
"Fine, fine!" [name] exclaimed without the use of her vocal cords. "Thirty-one if one day makes that much of a difference to you."
Jungkook's eyes lit up with amusement and excitement, and [name] instantly knew that she would come to regret her decision. But at the moment, she was curious as to how on earth he was going to convince her and what on earth he was going to do. 
[name] [last name] was just as dumb as she was stubborn and, because of this, she doomed herself to an 8 a.m. class every Tuesday morning with the one person she had wanted to avoid, Jeon Jungkook.
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peachyuns · 7 years
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soulmate!au park jihoon
oops a soulmate au lmao hope you guys aren’t tired of these yet
first oF all everyone has different ways of finding their soulmate
like some people can’t see color until they meet them, some people have the whatever they write on their skin appears on their soulmates skin too
but you had one where you both appear in each others dreams??
the problem with you two was that it was only your voices appearing and not your faces
so you were clueless as to who your soulmate was
a lot of the people you knew already knew who their soulmates were
only bc life didn’t fucking hate them and let them know earlier
usually it didn’t bother you bc you thought eventually you’d find out
but years went by and you just never found them
so you start to panic
“what if i eND up alone i’m crying”
but one day you start having these dreams
and it’s just a boy talking to you???
and you can’t see him you can only hear him
so ur like wow thx life this is no help
but you can communicate with each other in your dreams
literally sleeping is the only thing you look forward to everyday
not that it already wasn’t what you looked forward to lmao
but it was pretty hard for you
considering he didn’t appear in your dreams every night
it was kind of a random thing
like he would just appear whenever and ur like oh ok hi
and it’d be easier bc he could just be like oh yeah my name is whatever, look me up and we could meet
BUT HE WAS STUBBORN AS FUCK
“whY can’t you just tell me ur name???”
“bc i don’t want to meet my soulmate. it’s stupid”
and ur like omg wHY cAN’T U JUST TELL ME omg
but he seriously refuses to
you tell him your name over and over again
hoping he’ll get tempted and just look you up
you even give him all your social media lmao
like “this is my twitter slide in my dm’s when u sTOP BEING A USELESS ASS SPOON”
it stresses you out so bad
whenever you hear someone with a similar voice to his ur just like “soulmate is tht u”
and the guy is always like “woAh bro i already found mine??”
and your friends always try to invite you on their little group dates but you say no
you don’t wanna 3rd wheel with like 5 different couples lmao
you don’t necessarily want a boyfriend
like you aren’t obsessing over having one it’s just???
everyone has so much fun with theirs it’s like having a built in best friend
and a lot of the “couples” don’t even date they’re just like wow we were meant to get along leT’S BE FRIENDS
the same night you’re kind of moping around and being sad
he comes into ur dreams
“hey!!!”
“fuck off i hate u for making me miserable”
at first he’s just like uhh wtf u weirdo
but he really notices how you’re just not in the mood
“look y/n i just don’t want this to end badly”
and ur like ??? “what are you even talking about”
and he explains that a lot of the people around him somehow don’t even really communicate after meeting
like everyone kind of just goes on with their life
and he likes you a lot bc you’re funny and nice and he doesn’t want it to get ruined
“and what if it turns out well?? ur missing out on a lot here”
and pretty much the next morning
he’s just like shit she’s right
but poor bby is so afraid he doesn’t want things to go wrong
he’s also like omggbsfkjldh what if i end up marrying this peRSOn though
so he spends the whole day debating whether or not he should just tell you
“WOOJIN SHOULD I JUST TELL HER OH MY GOD”
“stOP being a little puss jihoon”
so that night jihoon “shows” up and it’s just awkward
bc he’s so nervous and wants to tell you
and you’re just like uhh?? why isn’t this boy speaking
“paRK JIHOON”
“what????????”
then you kind of realize
like wow 
THAT IS HIS FUCKING NAME
you almost scream bc finally
and that morning you see a notification on snapchat
and soME KID NAMED PARK JIHOON ADDED YOU
AND UR LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK
so you add him back and ur like omg dude pls meet me at this pizza place 
ur gonna eat ur fav food with your fucking soulmate like yes pls
so you fix your hair and try to make yourself as presentable as possible
and like you practically almost break the pizza places door trying to get in
and when u do ur like frantically looking around
and then you realize you don’t know how he looks and only he does
so if he decides to chicken out hE CAN WITHOUT U KNOWING
“and why does my little soulmate look so sad?”
you turn and it’s the cutest boy evER
HIS CHEEKS ARE PINK AND HE’S SMILING SHYLY AND IT’S IHGDKGSJFLD
“i thought you were gonna ditch me or some shit”
“i could never leave such a pretty girl alone like that”
and now it’s your turn to blush bc ghfdklsjld;ak
and after that you guys talk for a really long time
bc you want to make sure he doesn’t have any regrets about talking to you
and he’s just like wowihfdjoss i’m so lucky that this is my soulmate
and you feel the exact same way
bc he’s just such a cute, sweet, and funny guy
he’s like mentally hitting himself bc why was he ever worried about this
but HFSDJASa it works out so well and you guys are so cute together
nd wow
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