#well now you have some idea LMAO
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Rolling With Difficulty as texts I have saved on my computer for some reason
(i drew every day for like a month straight and burnt out so have this nonsense instead)
#rolling with difficulty#dani rwd#finbar rwd#kyana rwd#vrla rwd#vr la rwd#which of those is the correct tag. like genuine question#k lb rwd#maxim rwd#i had one that was k-lb and c-ra but it got eaten by tumblr somehow#anyway sorry for the wildly varying formatting these are amassed across like 4 years and god knows how many messaging apps#if you want context to 'we eat spoon' me and my friend bought a bean curd and for some reason we thought the spoon was made of like#that biodegradable/technically edible plastic material#i mean idk what it was actually made of but it sure as shit wasnt edible because i was the one who tried#same friend is the one who almost died on a highway with me because we misread google maps and tried to push our bikes#along a highway shoulder for 30 minutes at like... 12 in the morning#selling your soul for 25 bucks is a joke from when i was playing fallen london and actually sold my soul in game for about that much#im realising now that i may very well be the dani of my friend group and i have no idea how to feel about that#the original of the crush on maxim one was me @ my arospec ace friend who loved making fun of me for my dumb crushes#so it was like. my one rare chance to take revenge because while they were Suffering with that *i* was studying for a competition! lmao#i should do these more often like i do these for all my fandoms and its always a blast every time
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i think there really is a missed opportunity in the form of the new mutants? they've been the kids of the team for so long and like, i get why they've never been allowed to truly be "the old ones" (it's because marvel seems unwilling to give up on charles and erik being the leaders of mutantkind, much less that silver generation of scott, jean, ororo, etc) but it feels like a loss, that we've only ever seen these kids in the position of being "the kids" -- or, as we're seeing them now, caught between chafing against an authority they don't agree with, and yet also being the authority to the generations of kids who've come after them.
i don't know! i think it would be interesting, to have a storyline about the new mutants being the oldest authority figures mutantkind has left (or maybe just -- the x-men adjacent side of mutantkind). for a group that's been defined by rebelling against authority, it would be really interesting to see them in a position where they no longer have an authority to rebel against! also just, i do think it would be interesting to see them in leadership, because they'd still very much be products of their time -- instead of charles xavier, the deeply-flawed figurehead who led to the first real independence of their team was scott summers. the conflicts between them that they carry from their forebearers would be about aggression and control as much as they'd be about surveillance or high-handedness (yes, originally charles' problems, but the nm were also trained by him -- and, say what you will, but scott's own unique set of flaws are just as much a product of charles as himself).
#these thoughts are heavily HEAVILY influenced by nm 2009#xmen#new mutants#sb and l rambles#sb and l reads comics#xm ideas#i think this is why i'm so interested in ideas about xmen in and after the apocalypse. and probably why the comics are too#in order for some characters to get to step up as leaders... you need other characters out of the way. but xmen don't retire easily#(they tried with scott lmao. it didn't go well on a watsonian OR doylian level)#so you gotta kill them off! and like. if you're looking for a nontraditional leader... you gotta kill a lot of people off before they#get the chance to take command#......i'm now imagining the carnage i'd have to enact if i wanted to think about how pixie would shape the xmen's philosophy
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‘Cause every time we touch I feel the static ~
Silver has trouble collecting his thoughts and stroking his own beard isn’t quite enough stimulation to help... but Flint has such a nice beard, wouldn’t you want to touch it and learn something about proper grooming habits dear ~ So Madi is amused af when her suggestion actually works and Flint will be running high on endorphins until the first mirror lol. And Silver did get his thoughts sorted out — now he knows what to order for tomorrow’s barbecue!
I found the sketches again and finally finished these ^^; Static electricity probably doesn’t work quite like that but anyway xD Also if (historical) Blackbeard can have fire and smoke beard then Flint can have electric love uh I mean fearsome lightning beard. Please, do not repost elsewhere :)
#black sails#bs crack#silverflint#silverflintmadi#madisilverflint#I still feel your touch in my beard#oh yeah isn't there somekind of a myth about rubbing a ginger's head for good luck?#I was just thinking about Flint's well-groomed beard versus Silver's lol#Madi joked about this when they were having yet another pillowtalk about Flint#and that gave Silver the idea to actually try it the next time he was having trouble of thinking#and planning important things#and an excuse to touch flint :3#sneaky Silver#happy Flint#amused Madi#poor fuzzy beard#but you know now they can groom it - and touch more :)#the ref for the first pic is of course s4 when they are standing together and discussing plans and no daylight between them#I also realised that I have like 3-4 wips about Silver's beard in some form lmao#but tbh I really enjoy his s3-s4 looks so <3#even when I tease about it hehehe#also his hands are shaking because all he's actually thinking is omgOMGholy shiiit... I'm touching flint :3c#and Flint is like ah today's good deed :)#these are maybe a little bit overworked and to my eye tiiiiny bit creepy but anyway hehehe#and I still have no idea what this looks outside my monitor...
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Anyways before I forget again,
Does anyone else have meanings behind oc color pallets? Both for an individual character and when they’re part of a group??
#random post#I can name a couple I think#not in these tags lol I can’t#and I don’t mean like!! ‘they’re all pink cus it means they’re family :>’ I mean like#they all have a certain aesthetic and colors that both 1. fit together nicely and 2. give an idea of their character#hmgmgmhgfjn someone ask about it so I can fucking. talk about it not in tags I am *claws wall* my mind is very active and I need to tone it#the FUCK down fhiddbd#anyways I’m thinking about the blandamores..and fruit dads..poly boyfriends (August)#thinking about the Grimm fam (al and beauty and the rest) al and his triad friend thing#uhm. kinda Séb and fam a bit#god now I’m. thinking about design choices as well as colors#I have thoughts I swear I just. I need you to eat my brain to understand#I need you to ‘warm bodies’ open my skull and slurp my brain meats to pick up what I’m trying to put down#lmao now I’m thinking about how Ozzie. Goose & Blondee (and some of their kids) are practically my only ocs with like. legit clown paint on#well it’s not PAINT it’s their faces but like!! OH THERES CHINTZY THEY HAVE A WHITE FACE#and!!! I can’t think of any more of the top of my head they’re all kinda just. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ solid colored (sad)#lmao where was I uhmmhhg uh#anyways uhm. if I’ve colored an oc before pls ask why I colored them how I did I promise it’s not entirely ‘cus it looks nice :>’ I had at#least some thoughts about it 😭#oh and maybe 👉👈 design bits too perhaps#god watch me creatively crash in the next ten minutes lmao ah
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my biggest gripe with s5 is the show wants me to think j.ohnny is suddenly ready to be a dad after NOT dealing with his shit properly and that having a new kid suddenly means that not being there for r.obby for the first 17 years of his life doesn't matter anymore and I say fuck that
#❖ muse ⊱ ── 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐋𝐚𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞#and I love s5 actually it's probably my second favorite season#I think as a whole it's great#but you can tell they tried to band-aid a lot of the conflicts instead of *actually* writing fleshed out solutions#they did that with most of the rivalries#and j.ohnny having a new kid on the way doesn't suddenly make him a good dad#doing better for the new kid doesn't make up for how he treated r.obby. if anything it makes it worse#that he will step up for a baby that isn't even born yet but not the son he already had and the woman he left to raise him alone#I looooooove j.ohnny but this is just not a fair representation of his character and goes against his arc#which is about finally recognizing his past for what it was and trying to fix his mistakes. FINALLY breaking the cycle of abuse and neglect#it's regressive that they keep doing this to him#he spent four seasons learning that doing right by m.iguel doesn't make up for not doing right by r.obby#and that his son needs him too and he can't just keep ignoring the consequences of his own actions#only to then in s5 say hey actually here's another kid for him to focus on instead. and this is all he will care about now.#how dare????#s5 should have been him and r.obby working on their shit for the whole season not like ... two episodes lmao#I'm not against the baby plot I think the idea is interesting it's just . . . it wasn't handled well on the show.#it should have been treated like a source of conflict and a reason to confront some inner trauma. not baby ex machina.
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G/t Story Chapter Fourteen
Prologue/ One/ Two/ Three/ Four/ Five/ Six/ Seven/ Eight/ Nine/ Ten/ Eleven/ Twelve/ Thirteen/ Chapter Fourteen/ Fifteen
(Isabell and Zeke)
Chapter Warnings: Talk of injury (nothing too gorey)
~*~*~*~
Isabell’s throbbing leg trembles in protest as she steps nervously into the open. The journey out of the walls felt like it dragged on for ages, and it certainly took a toll on her wounded leg. Even with Quinn helping her along she had to stop and rest several times. Each time Quinn would tell her that they should just turn back, that her leg isn’t healed enough for the stress she’s putting it through. Though Quinn might have been right about that, Isabell insisted that they push on anyway. Now that she’s here, her leg quivers, throbbing with hot pulses of pain. However, it isn’t quite threatening to give out on her, not yet at least.
The days she spent with Quinn in the walls seemed to blur together. She doesn’t really know how long she was gone, a few weeks maybe? Possibly even a month. She feels bad that she left Ezekiel and Marcus without an explanation. They must have been worried about her. She could occasionally hear them muffled through the walls, but aside from that she’s had no true contact with them.
Now that she’s out in the hall, it forces her to recall the scale of everything out here. Ideally, she would be able to get herself off of the floor. But to do that, she would have to make her way to the living room first. Given the state of her leg, that isn’t going to happen. Even if she did make it into the other room, she would have to climb the coffee table. That would be challenging even with two perfectly fine legs and some borrowing equipment. Considering she doesn’t have either of those, she decides to scrap that idea all together. She throws a glance over to Quinn who is standing against the entrance to the wall, leaning against the baseboard with her arms crossed. She looks as annoyed as ever.
Isabell considers trying to hobble her way to check in one of their rooms, she could at least lean against the wall to help her along. Two steps in that direction, the pain in her leg is enough to convince her to stay put. She resigns herself to the fact that she’s just going to have to stay put and wait for someone to come down the hall. One of them will have to come out eventually.
It isn’t too long before she feels the rumble of footsteps approaching. Her heart snags in her throat as the floor beneath her begins to shake and Ezekiel steps out into the hall. Seeing him makes her heart leap and her blood run cold all at the same time. She plasters herself against the baseboard, frozen. She’s never seen him from an angle this extreme before. The only times she has ever encountered a human like this was in the pet shop, and before. The memories that play through her mind are not great, to say the least.
She wants to be relieved to see him, and part of her is. But still, she can’t shove down the instinctual fear that causes her skin to prickle with the sense of danger. She tries to push the anxiety out of her mind but every muscle in her body is screaming in pure fear. Wide eyed, she looks to Quinn for help, but she has already disappeared into the wall, and closed the entrance.
“Ze- uh. Ezekiel?” Her voice is tight and weak. It barely reaches her own ears, so of course this doesn’t get the human’s attention. Her miniscule form cowering against the baseboard of the hall goes unnoticed as he stomps by. His footsteps send shockwaves that rattle through her bones as he passes.
She has a brief window of time to try and compose herself before the footsteps return. He’s making his way back to his room. Pushing down her nerves and holding her breath, she peels herself off of the wall just enough to wave her arms in an attempt to get his attention. This does it, the movement catches his eye, and he glances down at her. They both freeze.
His face doesn’t give away his thoughts, but it never does, she didn’t expect it to. Still, in that split second every bad thing that could happen rushes through her mind. Wordlessly, he bounds over to her, closing in the distance between them in just two long strides. It is very obvious that he’s stepping more carefully now that he’s aware of her presence. Though it doesn’t completely stop the shockwaves from causing the ground to quiver beneath him, they are noticeably gentler than before.
He is impossibly large. She already knew that but seeing him like this makes her head swim all over again. His massive form slowly sinks down to his knees in front of her. This is better, but not by much. He still towers over her effortlessly. Time seems to slow as she watches his hands rush forward. Part of her wants to run out to meet him and wrap her arms around his fingers. However, a larger part of her is absolutely terrified. She can’t stop herself from backing up so quickly she practically falls against the wall, plastering herself to the baseboard. The movement isn’t subtle at all.
All at once he rests his palms on the ground and looks down at her as if that was his intention the whole time. Her face grows hot as she realizes that he wasn’t reaching out for her. Of course, he wasn’t. He looms over her so casually; she has to look nearly straight up to see his face. Isabell waits for him to do something, but he just looks down at her. He has to look nearly straight down to see her face too. Her whole body is screaming at her now, not just her leg. Telling her it was stupid to come out here, she should have just stayed in the walls with Quinn. She had a chance for everything to go back to normal, and she threw it away. Why did she throw it away? Why is she here? She tries to control her shallow sporadic breaths in an attempt to calm herself down. She hasn’t felt a panic this intense since the day the two humans rescued her from the store. She just didn’t know it was a rescue yet. They loomed over her, staring down at her trembling form stuffed into a corner of that little box. She had come such a long way since that moment, and now she feels like she’s right back at square one. She didn’t know what to expect from them then, and she doesn’t know what to expect from Ezekiel now.
She remembers the times she’s tried to escape from Sal and Eddie. Those never ended well, she shudders at the memories. But this is different. She didn’t run away, there was nothing to escape from, and she’s back willingly. Above all that, she knows Zeke, and Marcus. They were the reasons she wanted to come back in the first place. For the first time she was somewhere that truly felt like home, and she wanted to go back. Sure, Zeke looks grumpy and intimidating, but underneath all of that he’s really nice and just kind of awkward. He probably just doesn’t know what to say to her either.
“I-I’m sorry.” Her nervous voice breaks through the silence. She tries to talk loud enough for him to hear. “I…. I didn’t mean to be gone for so long. I.. um.. I didn’t plan on… uh.. I wasn’t trying to.. I- I … ah. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize Isabell, I understand. Your… friend? She came by one night and I helped her gather some medicines. She wouldn’t disclose what had happened, but I assumed you had gotten hurt or sick in some way? I was really… Marcus and I… we were both really worried about you.”
“Sorry. I um. I was trying to come back, the first night… But I um.. I fell and… well, my leg. Um.” She pulls up her skirt, revealing the angry red line trailing from her hip to her calf. The stitches of black thread still holding her together. It isn’t pretty, but it’s honestly a lot better than what it was. Ezekiel inhales sharply and leans forward to get a better look.
Before she can react, his hands are curling around her. His fingertips gently pulling her away from the wall and into his waiting palms. She’s whisked off of her feet and up into the air. She’s startled to say the least. Ezekiel has always made it a point to never do this. He’s always asked if he could touch her, and he’s always let her climb onto his palm herself. Before the alarm bells can really start going off in her head, he stops. In one movement he’s pulled her close to his chest. The fingers that were loosely behind her crowd in as he wraps her up in an embrace. She’s frozen for a moment before realizing he isn’t planning on moving any further. He’s just holding her? Then it hit her, this is a hug. Her whole world shifts as he takes a deep breath. His heartbeat pulses all around her, and it’s fluttering beat tells her something that his demeanor would never reveal: He’s nervous, afraid even. She grips at his shirt, pulling herself closer as the tears that had been waiting to fall finally break through and roll down her cheeks. She takes one jagged breath, and he jolts, jerking his hands away from himself.
“Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry. I-” Suddenly he remembers himself and begins lowering his hands back towards the ground. “This was completely out of line. I am so sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt you… or scare you. Please don’t be scared.”
“No! no it’s okay. I’m fine.” She wipes the tears from her face, almost laughing as the tension is broken. He’s still the same, she’s missed him so much. “You don’t have to- don’t put me down. Please.” She pulls his thumb into her arms, and he stills. He observes her for a moment before nodding and raising her back up. He doesn’t pull her into his chest this time though. Instead, he holds her a bit closer to his face, his eyes trace over her leg. His other hand hovers nearby, fingertips ghosting at the hem of her dress, but not daring to come any closer. She twists so he can get a better view of her wound. The closeness makes her heart flutter. His face is her whole sky right now. His brow is furrowed slightly as he focuses on her leg. His eyelashes seem so long, and his gentle breathing shifts the air around her.
“Does it hurt?” He practically whispers. She nods. It does hurt. Everything hurts. Not as bad as it did, but it’s certainly no where near fully healed. “I’m so sorry.” His voice sounds strained.
“It’s alright. It was my fault. Besides, I’m a lot better now.” She smiles gently up at him.
“Are you hungry?” He says after a moment, lowering her away from his face. “Lets go make something to eat.” He rises slowly. She holds onto his thumb and tries to ignore how high up she is. Zeke pulls her close to his chest and cups his other hand around her. Even though she’s impossibly high off the ground, somehow, he makes her feel completely safe. “I should text Marcus, so he doesn’t freak out when he comes home.” His voice rumbles around her, and she smiles.
She’s home.
#g/t story#g/t#giant tiny#gt#my writing#gt writing#isabell and the lads#its been more than several months so probably no one cares about this anymore#but here is is anyway i guess#I have a couple other ideas with some other characters as well#it's just kinda hard to write right now#anyway send prompts if you feel like waiting 3 months to get a response lmao i suck#sorry
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#i'm like just now remembering i have an inbox oops#there's a lot of asks in there that i'm not sure how to respond to because it's been like... years oops#so idk how much of them i'll be answering but#thank you all so much for interacting with me#some of these messages are really sweet#i'm sorry for being gone for so long#i love everyone here and i missed you all a lot 💖💖💖#so yes. probably not answering everything i'm sorry#BUT i'm going through and if i find an ancient ask that i DO have ideas/insp for i'll totally post it#and as always#(no promises about my ability to answer given. whatever the fuck is wrong with my brain. but)#i welcome any additional asks with open arms and genuine delight and amazement that there are people interested in my dumb blog 💖#not naruto#((i feel like i really need a particular tag for these posts where im just talking abt nothing in the tags bc im sure that gets annoying#but idk what to use for that#oh well. open to suggestions lmao))
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well. here we are. the 1 year anniversary of the tally hall magical girl au.
i remember the very moment i created it. it was january 15th, 2021, the day after my ex broke up with me (this fact is not related). i was in geometry class & i was drawing ross in my sketchbook instead of doing my work. the pose he was in reminded me of a magical girl, from animes. magical girls are usually associated a lot with color, since usually every magical girl has a different color. so i did some quick research to make sure nobody else had done something similar, & then the thmgau was born.
& boy, what a wild year it's been. ive met so many friends throughout me writing the first act of the thmgau, & so many cool characters & memes have been born through it. although im not really fixated on the thmgau anymore, i still think i should celebrate the 1 year anniversary of the whole thing.
so, thank you guys, for supporting me throughout this year. i love you guys. & below the cut is one of the first pieces i drew for the thmgau (just for comparsion <3)
[reblogs encouraged!] [image id in alt text!]
gahhh the original drawing. why is ross fading into nothingness lol
#jesters art lmao#tally hall#thmgau#cw joe hawley#rob cantor#joe hawley#ross federman#andrew horowitz#zubin sedghi#i had a couple other ideas 4 this as well. at first i was gonna make a ruler of everything animatic but i dont think i could have finished#it in time lol. then i was gonna do a thing where i fit as many thmgau characters as possible in one drawing. but then i decided on just#doing a redraw of the original. & i think thats for the best. you can see how my artstyle & my designs have changed & improved over the#past year. i think maybe later today i can do some doodles of the other characters doing things :] that would be fun#but it IS 4 am as im writing these tags so. i will disappear into the void 4 now!!#(& i will be reblogging this throughout the day. because. yknow. its 4 am.)
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remembering a fun marble hornets trans wrights element throwback where i managed to show up for one of their first convention features & while this was ofc already [serious "hmm...Not Cis: me??"] occasions i wasn't yet out or anything like well time to suffer being known & perceived thusly....while i Was out by the same occasion the next year like well here i am again, different name, binder, no plans to give anyone any rundown about this thing, hope it goes smoothly anyways and/or i'm effectively giving a reintroduction anyhow even though i May have been up to more memorable things that last time....no conversations needed to be had, i think i had the impression i was recalled as the same person but it was an entirely chill time, just this as like an early and pretty unique Occasion of like, here's people who know me from In Person (and ig Kind of online, i also don't recall ever like distinctly linking said in person appearance to onlineness lol. it just may also have not been an unsolveable mystery or a mystery at all. but mostly in person, and that's the element i was focusing on anyways) and my showing up transly in person with a whole other name this time as the major difference really lol. like well hope this goes swimmingly....And It Did. and at some point not eons later ya boy tim with some cringe comp sincerety like oh let me make this post somewhere about how an epic element of being a known internet creator is meeting new & various people including explicitly the [mh fans are like exclusively The Gays. and then some unfiction posters] factor & i'm like lol well you're welcome. just doing my part. but fr that was neat like i'm glad to get chill indirect & direct trans validation from internet horror series contributors in that immediate period of coming out & having to sweat it like damn wasn't at this point last time around
#lot of highlights that first time around at said expo....#loved being present for this like. Season One Dvd Live Commentary as this like late event put on some non ground floor room....#like it wasn't Huge but an impressive number of ppl showed up waiting outside & then the space was pretty packed#& it was just a fun and spontaneous time lol#also like going ''hmm autistic: me??'' as seriously & framed thusly consideration came years later#& relatively recent posting from ya boy tim (twitter) abt like adhd / autistic: me?? are throwbacks lmao like#hey pal as a [yes to both: me] party i can say that like anyone who's chosen to have multiple relatively extensive exchanges w/myself....#it's kind of its own ''hmm. you sure you're nt'' occasion lol#i would be Unsurprised thusly just like i'm Unsurprised abt the [practically no one is cis/het] factor....#anyways i have no idea what's going on w/the fact mh has these organic like popularity resurgences especially including Now apparently#but who tf is ever tuned in? cool when people are having fun and being themselves.#sort of distantly interesting to see what material people come up with in organic novel [entire new groups of ppl / popularity wave]#and mh i guess does that more often than maybe other things do#as they say it's a) just There online for perusal b) accessible in other ways. there's handy playlists & it's basically a few movies.#and c) there's always some hot new online homemade horror material & people can get into That & then into others ig. like mh sitting there#it's a like ''huh. i guess'' surprise even when mutuals / followers from Completely Different Things i indirectly find also watch/ed mh#like well. i don't really have a frame of reference for all this stuff lmao. i Guess it's unsurprising but to me feels like a weird overlap#just wasn't that niche? Isn't that niche? if you're like. Online to a sufficient degree. strongly narrative; a drama; shelved w/queer media#and that following along while it released was fun but now the advantage is: Not having to do that. it all just sits there#my fucking pet peeve as things Were released & people were like. oh plotlines progressed in this thing? smh filler#there were moments when people are walking to a location? filler. there were moments when it wasn't just sloober standing there? filler.#like would you shut tf up lmfao....crash courses in ''even when an online fanbase is small. ya don't wanna talk to Everyone''#which for me was part of a learning process like i don't wanna talk to practically Anyone thanks lmao. but the posts could be fun at least#let's have some appreciation along the lines of uhh smthing talking abt season one first house visit entry and how like#yeah it's fun how In Essence yes nothing happens but it's the creation of a very suspenseful experience anyways like thank you#having to explain things like Pacing [if Action & Intensity were Nonstop they'd stop being Effective or at all Interesting]#cue explaining this re: even Drama also like. deh's Drama is served by the interludes for ppl ''interrupting'' w/ ''lol? &/or tf?'' moments#mh the musical...
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im gatekeeping tartaglia from people who say they hated/disliked him in the archon quest but started liking him bc of his story quest 💀💀💀💀💀💀
#like this is why i have so much criticism abt his story quest bc people play it and#now they have some sort of idea that he isnt actually a bad guy???????#the story quest changes nothing hes still a bad person and a war criminal#no mattet how much he cares abt his siblings 💀💀#if you cant love him with those qualities then well youre just doing the same stuff#that the people who who perpetuate his fanon version do but in a different flavor#im happy to see more people saying the fandom and griffin ruined tartaglia bc its true#but this isnt any better lmao#what i loved most abt replaying the liyue archon quest was seeing how his manipulation started#right from the second we talked first and then the eerie road into the golden house and his villain reveal#(well loved most after everything to do with zhongli of course hdjkfjdjd)#and ppl who hated that but then loved him after the story quest did you like#miss that he was literally collecting debt and intimidating people in it????#he hasnt changed. he at the moment shows no signs of changing#so either accept it or just ignore him lol no need to twist him into some sweet guy he isnt
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When you appear as an angel
Knocking me down, looking my way
Could you ever kill the pain in my heart
Even though they say angels don't kill?
Finishing this art piece represents my final goodbye. Thank you for everything, Alexi. Rest easy now, Wildchild 🖤
Sketches on paper below the cut ⬇️








#children of bodom#cob#cobhc#alexi laiho#melodic death metal#I've made several posts about how ale's music and death impacted me so I won't elaborate more on that in these tags#this took me almost two weeks. I was devastated all the time but I wanted to continue at all costs and draw at least an hour a day#if you look at my wip pics notice how the time I took them was always at night lmao#this drawing accompanied me every night for the last week and a half#every night around midnight (for some reason) I went on my desk and drew this for at least an hour or two#while listening to cob of course#when I was finished I always had a couple cigs while listening to the same cob songs. but I always finished on angels don't kill#and dead man's hand on you#like. every day was like this. I have smoked more cigarettes in this last week than a half than I smoked in the past year#I had such a will to self destruction and now alexi and cob will always be associated to cigarettes to me#anyway before I finish the tags that are aviable let's talk about the drawing concept#I had this image in my mind of an angel of death looming on the viewer for a long time#I kinda forgot about it until well I listened to the song again and this is the result#not to brag but I dig the idea that both the victim and the executioner are Alexi. if you took a glance on some cob lyrics you can see that#Ale was really struggling and was in constant battle with himself. and he was losing too at times.#like this self-loathing and instinct of self-destruction battling this unstoppable rage to want to keep living#but also the fascination with death and the grim reaper#those are the main reasons behind that concept#I thought to turn him into a skeleton at some point (like only one hand was just bones) but I just didn't really feel like it lmao#I love the shading on his wings and how the trees turned out#and the hands!!!! look at that shit. who fuckn knew I actually was able to draw hands huh? who knew I was actually competent#the lighting is something that bothers me if I look at it too much but after all a drawing can always be improved#like a drawing is never truly finished you just stop adding or editing shit at some point bc you want to be done w it#but now that I'm digital at least I can take more time to refine and add details and so far everything I made looks pretty finished to me#alexi draws
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Forgive me being unapologetically in love with u 🥺❤️
Skshkdshdhdk ily too 👉💕💝💓💗💕💕💝💞💗👈
#witchy's ask booth#we might as well make it official. can I say I have a russian spy as my gf?#you can tell people your s/o is a mafia associate#skdhjffk that's so dumb lmao I'm sorry#unless?#btw fuck me I'm procrastinating so much I'm so nervous about posting the fic for some reason#I have never hesitated so much. I'm nervous!!! ahhhhh#and by dedicating my time to the finishing touches of the fic I forgot completely about everything else#and I've been forgetting about asks and tags I'm so overwhelmed by nothing all of a sudden#without counting all the fics I want to read bc you guys deserve all the support#I tried making a moodboard. spent hours researching pics. then I decided it wasn't working out so I scrapped the idea#I mean I *could* draw a cover art of some sort I have some pictures in mind. but at the same time aaaahhhhh I want to post it#only then I can be truly free but what if I don't want to be free???#oh the duality of man#I am sp sorry for rambling I literally don't know what's going on I'm in a weird place mentally rn#it might be the sleep deprivation#me: tonight I'm going to bed early#also me: stays up till three am for the third day in a row 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️#now I understand why I've been called Tommy I'm literally sabotaging myself with every step I make#anyway I really really need to go now and I might need a break from interaction so sorry if I haven't/won't reply to anyone#in the next like. 48 hours? but I need to get a fucking grip here
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More Val and Vin because I’m obsessed
Val has her phone on her whenever she shunts and while the internet on it doesn’t work in Luthadel she can do things like show Vin some music. Vin’s experience with it has mostly been as Valette and what she’d dance to at nobles’ parties which Val calls classical. Turns out Vin has pretty broad taste and her and Val work out a system with two iPods, Val giving a charged one to Vin and taking the dead one home to plug in, since Vin has no way to charge them herself.
Val also shows Vin audiobooks and once the actual reading part is taken out of the equation Vin takes more of a liking to books. She still doesn’t understand why Elend and Sazed like it as much as they do, and she prefers the fiction Val brings her to some of the stuffy things they read, but she does get it a bit more.
#I have a feeling that Vin’s into like heavy shit#like Val didn’t know what she was expecting her to REALLY enjoy#but vin ends up digging shit like spiritbox lmao#Valkyrie cain#vin#mistborn#skulduggery pleasant#little unassuming vin who’s listening to weird stuff that Val brings her#with like holy roller in her ears when she doesn’t need to be paying full attention#v twins#I added some because I had a thought#vin being able to relate to elend more in well of ascension cos Val brings her books she doesn’t have to actually read#I’m so invested in this fkn headcanon now you have no idea
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...am I actually about to actually write and finish a fanfic for the first time in 4 months
is this the reaaal liiiife, or is this just fantaaasyyy
#don't get your hopes up TOO high though i might not actually get round to it#it's just that the thought of henrik in an au where he was permanently injured after being crushed by the rubble going to jac to vent about#it because she understands b/c of everything she went through after she was shot and also because he trusts her not to see him differently#or pity him... it's too good a concept i might just have to write that one specific scene as a oneshot of its own#even if i don't ever get around to actually writing a proper fic for that au i just HAVE to do something with that concept you know#i mean you can tell how much it's occupying my brain because i haven't shut up about it since i had the idea lmao#can't guarantee i'll actually write it but right now i'm obsessively googling trying to figure out what would be the most likely result of#that kind of injury#so#although granted what i feel most comfortable writing might also influence things to some degree#like - something causing chronic pain of some sort is the only option i could go with that would be anywhere close to the realm of my own#experiences#(because um. *gestures vaguely at self* look i don't know what's going on with my body precisely but it sure is one Fucked Up body)#still not precisely the same ofc but y'know at least i have SOME experience in that area#anything else would be harder to write#although tbh in this fic it wouldn't be the injury itself being focused on anyway so much as how the other staff would react to it and how#henrik would cope with *that* (i.e. Not Well)#so idk#i might just be vague about it#figure out the general ballpark of what i want to go for and then leave the exact details up to the readers to determinate#because as i say it's not like the specific injury is actually all that relevant to the concept anyway
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me: i dont wanna do anything im so exhausted all the time i feel lost i go home everyday and sleep and dont do anything i just let whatever happen nowadays
my friends: i see *gives me studying tips*
#exactly why i dont talk to anyone about anything most of the time like i feel like no one takes me seriously or cares about me lol#btw i feel like this majority of the time but somehow i manage to not reflect it on my grades#but i guess since now i actually had Some Motivation to do something. anything. now i just dont do anything and imo it's not that bad#i dont mind flopping right now i dont mind not being the top student or whatever im just not pushing myself now#but like. whenever i say stuff to people they think im showing concern about my performance or success#is that all i am like genuinely do i have no other facade than the responsibile top student to these people#what im saying is not im feelin lazy and unmotivated to do school work what im saying is i literally dont wanna exist my friend lol#cant wait for today to end so i can go home and sleep. i have many things to do but i cant bring myself to care anymore#but if one more person says 'welp... that's life' or something similar to me.... ............ .. . .#and yesterday someone told me i would definitely stand out in a work environment so if my internship goes well#i might get a job offer or something and first of all i Died when i realized i have to live a life. like how am i supposed to live#i don't know how to live i dont even think im a person lmao but second i was just shocked.#like me? standing out? the only thing i stand out at is grades it's been like this my whole life#but it literally means nothing when i dont initiate anything or i dont put myself out there#which. i am literally afraid to do. so.#i really wonder how the fuck my life will turn out like lmao#my friends getting a lot of internships and possible jobs etc i literally dont know what i wanna do#i dont even wanna do anything but like. you know.#i dont have any idea. i dont even know if i wanna stay in this country or leave and i dont even know what to do in either case#like. welp. i think about grad school which Everyone wants me to do. like literally everyone is like Yes You Should#but the fuck am i supposed to do lmao i was thinking yesterday if i do end up going to a grad school#i would prefer to go abroad idk#but then again like i said idk how#and even if i somehow end up doing it i genuinely think i would end up ******* ****** lmao#i mean yeah lot to unpack at this thought also such a selfish and pathetic thing to think etc etc#what anyone in my situation would see as a silver lining for a better life i see as an easy out way from life so :^) yeah#anyway. anyway. anyway anyway anyway#neg
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Hiii just wondering how the 500 follower event is coming along :) have a nice night 🥰
Haha imma be honest, I have rough ideas for most of them but I have not started. Kinktober took so much out of me and this past week I've been dealing with my whole family emergency and I've been spending everyday inside a hotel room that has zapped my writing creativity.
I do still plan on doing them of course!! I'm thinking about them everyday and they are gonna be one of my priorities when I get back, along with finishing my bakugou piece on ao3 (and then getting it up here), working on some holiday fics, finishing to capture a star, and starting my denki fic.
Haha wow this that is so much lmao but yeah I am still getting to them. Thank you for being patient and I hope you have a good night too 💖
#if youve been checking my pqge im sure uve seen me start manga coloring but thats only because it does not require thought 😌#well it does but not the same as writing#i really hoped that id be able to write a whole bunch while i was here but imma be honest... my mental stability is a lil rocky#from being away from home and being so isolated#but yes i am getting to them!! and ive got ideas#someones getting space au and i think i know who#and another for coffee shop au#i will try my best to have a good night 🥰#i should be sleeping#oh i forgot there are some other really good things in my inbox but i just cant bring myself to answer them rn#but if you want to help keep me sane id love to talk to people#lmao#so if uve ever wanted to get to know me better nows the time haha
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