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#well okay maybe I'll write some smut about it later lol
misc-obeyme · 10 months
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9 Days of Solomon: Day 8 - Barbatos
Okay, I see the shade here. Barbatos is the prompt for day eight lol.
I was kinda struggling with the prompt because any time I started to write a scene that Barb was actually in, he took over the whole thing. (Sorry, it's my bias as usual.) And these are the 9 days of Solomon so... I ended up just writing about him being eighth on the list lol. Mostly I thought MC would ask Solomon about it and I really think Sol would take the opportunity to flirt with MC.
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You noticed right away, of course. Back in your own time, in the present, Barbatos and Solomon had a close relationship. They were friends and they trusted each other. But here in the past, things were different.
Of course you noticed. This was calm, collected Barbatos. Until he saw Solomon and then he displayed a level of anger and dislike that you had never seen from him.
You would never forget the look on Barbatos's face in the labyrinth beneath the castle when Solomon summoned him. When Solomon commanded him to open a portal to transport everyone out of there. The subsequent banishment of your teacher to some far away place as a response.
If you could have told Barbatos that you were from the past, you would have. Just to ask him what that was all about, to tell him that you were aware that something weird was going on.
It turned out that you had the opportunity to ask him anyway and nothing could have prepared you for the answer he gave.
Solomon seemed just as stunned by it as you were.
To think that a demon as peaceful as Barbatos always seemed to be would get so riled up about being eighth on Solomon's list of demons to make a pact with.
It was so unexpected, you almost didn't believe it.
Solomon seemed to accept it, though, and you couldn't help but find the whole situation quite funny.
You were having tea and donuts in the kitchen of Cocytus Hall when you asked him about it directly.
"Did you really make a list like that?"
Solomon shrugged. "I suppose I did. But it wasn't exactly a meticulous thing, just something I was jotting down while I was thinking about it."
You sighed. "Barbatos seemed really upset about it, too."
Solomon frowned. "I didn't mean to hurt his feelings."
"I kind of get it," you said. "If you made a list of your favorite apprentices and I was eighth on the list, I would be upset, too."
"Ahaha!" Solomon laughed, nearly choking on the tea he had just taken a sip of. "MC, that's ridiculous! It wasn't a list of my favorite demons. And I would never make a list of favorite apprentices or demons."
You laughed, too. "Sure, if you say so."
Solomon reached across the table and took one of your hands. He was still smiling, his eyes sparkling. "Anyway, you're far more than just my favorite apprentice."
The way he squeezed your hand made your heart race. You felt your gut flutter as you twisted your hand in his and interlaced your fingers. "Yeah, but I am your favorite, right?"
Solomon shook his head slowly, still smiling. "Do you actually have to ask?"
Of course you didn't. Maybe there was something more to Barbatos's unusual display of disgust and maybe there wasn't. Maybe there was more to what happened between them than Solomon wanted to share with you and maybe there wasn't. But that was between them, in the end.
You couldn't help but be curious about it, though. Maybe you would ask Barbatos more about it later, when your heart wasn't busy doing flips at the look in Solomon's eyes.
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day 1: stars | day 2: nostalgia | day 3: knife | day 4: ocean | day 5: pact (nsfw) | day 6: snow | day 7: familiar | day 9: humanity
masterlist | Thank you for reading!
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esamastation · 3 months
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Well
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Metagaming started with a plan and then veered WAY off course. Also, a little bit of spite was maybe involved.
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Might end up lol. But yeah, the Cast Iron thing was plan from the very start. There was also some video I watched on YouTube, can't remember by who, but it had a mention of concept of mana in Polynesian cultures and how it can be gained through sexual acts, etc, not really important. Still, there was some spite and previous random research influencing the planning process.
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*going out his way.
Yeah, so the original plan was for Shen Qingqiu to figure out the sex thing out and also have a lot of it probably, and eventually turning it into mastery, etc etc. It was a fun enough plan. There was going to be a lot of smut. Experienced and confident sqq, hell yeah.
.... And then I actually wrote a bit further and the story turned into something else. Arguably what it ended up becoming as it progressed is probably better - but I still have this other story in my head about Sqq with more confident and comfortable attitude towards his own, healthy, sex life. Alas, no plan survives encounter with the enemy and Sqq's various issues won, and then various issues of Qing Jing Peak started cropping up. That's the risk you take when you go in depth - you find the depths.
Still, the rough shape of the harem survived, if not all the educational and casual sex I was planning for sqq to be having. His character just didn't work with it.
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Yeaaah this sort of thing happens to me a lot. I start writing one thing and end up writing another. But that's fine, it was fun exploring mental health care and stuff in xianxia setting and it went interesting directions later on in Character Optimisation. I ended up hanging onto the idea of "Sqq as eventual Master of Dual Cultivation" probably to the story's overall detriment, really should've killed my darling there, but I just couldn't. Hindsight is whatever, that's just what happens sometimes when plans go awry.
I haven't abandoned the fic yet. The last part is going to be called Power Levelling and I have like 10% of the start and 20% of the end roughly planned out but I have no idea what happens in the middle and that's why I haven't yet written a word of it. Still, I hold onto hope. I'll write it one day.
In conclusion, plans change, stories go off the rails and overall it's all going to be okay 👍
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xomakara · 1 year
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Desiring You
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SUMMARY | When Jaehyun has an inkling that you were touching yourself and thinking of him, he wants to know all your sexual fantasies. PAIRINGS | Jaehyun/Fem!Reader GENRE | college au, friends to lovers, smut, unprotected sex, fellatio, fingering, female masturbation, cunningulus, dirty talk RATING | Mature LENGTH | 6,435 words AUTHOR’S NOTE | 🙂 and now I will take a mini break from writing. (I'll be back next week lol)
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"Fuck..."
After your date with Doyoung, you came back home feeling sexually frustrated. You were expecting to get laid tonight but that obviously didn’t happen. Even though you don’t really regret going on a date with him because he was nice and you enjoyed talking to him, you were hoping to have sex with him afterwards. But since that wasn’t happening, you decided to go ahead and try out some self-pleasuring.
You ran a hand along your chest while sitting on your bed. You knew your roommate and friend Jaehyun wasn’t coming home any soon. There was no reason for him to come home after his shift ended so early. He usually worked until midnight, sometimes later.
So it was a good thing that you were home alone. You wouldn’t have anyone interrupting you if you did decide to masturbate. Although, if he found out that you get off thinking about him it might not be such a great thing.
Not that you would ever admit that you get off thinking about him. If he found out he would definitely become curious and wonder why you fantasize about him. Of course, that wouldn’t bother you at all.
Thinking about him brought a smile to your face. How could you not think about him? Every time he looked at you with those beautiful eyes you immediately felt a little blush creep up on your face. How the hell did you start thinking about your friend in a sexual manner? Did you do something to inspire these feelings?
You weren’t sure what to call them; love or lust maybe? Those two terms seemed too strong. It was probably more of a sexual attraction towards him. Maybe that would be a better term to use.
Yeah, that sounds right. Sexual attraction sounds good.
What made you feel these feelings toward him? You’ve been friends for years. He has done nothing to make you feel this way other than be friendly and act like a normal person. You haven’t even kissed yet. Although, you would give anything to kiss those chocolaty lips of his.
Okay. Maybe this is starting to sound like you have a crush on him. A small crush. Yes, definitely a tiny crush. But is it possible that it could grow bigger?
You started to wonder if he felt the same way. Is he having fantasies about you too? Are you one of his many female fantasies? Is that even a possibility?
All this questioning made you wet.
Thinking about Jaehyun made you wet.
No matter how many times you go through this situation, you always end up becoming wet.
Well that’s convenient.
When you thought about this sexy man making you cum over and over again, it only added fuel to the fire. So naturally, when you were done touching your breasts, you reached under your bed and grabbed your favorite dildo. It was long, hard, and thick. Perfect for taking care of yourself whenever you need to.
As you slipped it into your pussy, you began thinking about your conversation with Jaehyun earlier today. What would happen if he discovered your secret desires? Would he think less of you? Would he still want to hangout with you knowing that you wanted to have sex with him? Was he already aware of your fantasies?
Just thinking about it was making you even more horny. Your mind was filled with images of you naked underneath Jaehyun while he fucks you from behind. His hands wrapped around your waist as you grinded against him. He leaned down and planted soft kisses on your neck before giving you another firm thrust inside of you. The sounds of his hips slapping against yours got louder and faster until you couldn’t take it anymore. Your orgasm rushed through you as you fell onto the floor panting.
Oh god…
This is exactly what you needed right now!
“Fuck, Jaehyun.” You said letting out a loud moan.
You picked up the pace of your movements as you became even more turned on by your own thoughts. It had been a while since you felt this way. As you sat there with a dildo buried deep inside of you, you let out a sigh of relief. All of the stress from school and work finally washed away as you lost yourself in your fantasy.
There was a knock on your door and you stopped mid stroke. Fuck! Was Jaehyun home? You grew anxious at the sudden thought of your roommate being home while you were masturbating about him. Could he tell what you were doing?
Oh my god, you are acting like an idiot. Of course he won’t know what you are doing. Just calm down.
Your heart began to race as you quickly finished off your session and removed the dildo from your pussy. It slid out with ease as you closed your legs together tightly. Leaning forward, you rested your head on your pillow and stared up at the ceiling, pulling your sheets to your naked body. After a few seconds, you finally relaxed and your breathing returned to normal. You heard your door creak open. When you lifted your head you saw Jaehyun standing in front of you.
“I hope I’m not interrupting something,” he said quietly.
“N-no. That was just me getting myself off. It was nothing,” you replied. You knew what he was implying and it didn’t surprise you. Of course he knew what you were doing. “You didn’t hear me pleasuring myself did you?”
“Uh…” he paused, clearly trying to think of something to say. He scratched his head awkwardly before saying, “I guess I must have heard something but I wasn’t sure what.”
He tried to hide the fact that he knew exactly what you were doing. Well, of course he knew. Your rooms shared a wall. There was no way he didn’t hear anything. But it didn’t seem like he cared either. That actually made you feel pretty damn happy. “Sorry about that, I just got carried away.”
“It’s okay,” he smiled, “are you ready for dinner? We’re meeting everyone else downstairs in twenty minutes.”
“Dinner? I thought we weren’t going anywhere tonight,” you said, getting up from your bed, ignoring the way Jaehyun looked at your naked body before he looked away. It's not like you haven't seen each other naked before. There were times where you would shower and he would walk in on you and vice versa. You pulled on some clothes, combed your hair, and grabbed your purse before heading downstairs. “Where are we going anyway?”
“We’re eating at the place on the corner. There is a special for the night, half price drinks, so I told Johnny and the guys that we should check it out. He agreed,” Jaehyun explained as he led the way out of the apartment building and walked down the street.
Once outside, you realized that you hadn’t put on a bra under your tight cropped shirt. You shrugged it off though. You weren’t the kind of girl who wore bras unless she absolutely had to. Besides, no one was looking at you. In fact, most people were staring at Jaehyun. At least that was what it felt like. There were quite a few women gawking at him as they passed by.
Jaehyun didn't pay them any mind. Instead, he seemed to be looking at you. His gaze seemed to linger on your breasts longer than usual. And when he glanced at your bare stomach, you could swear you saw a bulge appear beneath his pants.
Was he getting a boner?
As you walked, Jaehyun asked you questions about work, school and the upcoming summer break. But his focus was never on the conversation. Instead, his eyes kept returning to your body. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just flattering. You liked it when he looked at you. In fact, you loved it.
The restaurant you arrived at wasn’t very big. It consisted of three booths on each side and a bar in the middle where they served food and drinks. It wasn’t very busy so you were seated right away. It wasn’t long before you placed your order and ordered your first round of drinks. Once your orders were taken, Jaehyun turned to you and said, “I’ll be right back. Don’t leave without me.”
And with that he headed towards the restroom. Once you heard the door close, you lifted your glass to your lips and took a sip of your drink. Then you glanced over at the table next to you and noticed one of the girls sitting there with her friends. She was checking you out. You were the only single woman in the group. So of course she was paying attention to you.
Shaking off the awkward moment you felt on your skin, you continued to look around the restaurant. You noticed several men who were also checking you out. Some had their heads turned towards you and were talking amongst themselves while others were just staring.
They were all checking you out, but they all averted their attention when Jaehyun returned and slid into the seat beside you. The rest of your group arrived shortly after that and you ordered your second round of drinks. Soon enough you were drinking more and giggling with the guys, discussing various topics ranging from sports to celebrities.
You couldn't help but be aware that Jaehyun placed his left hand on your right thigh. To him, it was probably nothing. This was a casual setting and everyone around them was doing the same thing. It was innocent and fun. But for you, it was different. You were tipsy and feeling horny. So when Jaehyun placed his hand on your thigh, you were caught off guard.
At first, you froze. You wondered if he would remove his hand once he realized you weren’t comfortable.
But then you realized he wasn’t removing it because he enjoyed doing it. No, it was much worse than that. He was purposely putting his hand on your thigh because he wanted to. And what’s more? He knew you were going to like it.
That realization made you a little bit nervous. Did he do this often? Does he do this to every woman he meets? And why does it turn you on so much? Why can’t you stop thinking about him? It was making you crazy. Your entire body started to tingle and your pussy began to get moist. Suddenly, you had the urge to rub your clit and reach down between your legs.
Just the thought of doing that sent waves of pleasure coursing throughout your body.
After finishing your nth round of drinks, you excused yourself to go to the restroom. Once inside, you locked the door and leaned against the sink. You gripped the sink and took deep breaths. You needed to relax. Despite your raging need to actually get laid, you could wait until you get home. This was not the place nor time to satisfy those urges.
You walked back to the table, and was about to sit back down, when suddenly someone cleared their throat. Startled, you looked up to see Jaehyun smiling down at you. “How’s everything? Ready to leave yet?”
“Yeah, we should probably head home soon,” you responded, attempting to smile.
Jaehyun stood up from the booth and motioned for you to follow him. Walking behind him, you thought about asking him what he meant by leaving but decided against it. Instead, you chose to act like you didn’t notice anything. Maybe it was his intention to drive you wild and you would eventually ask him about it later. Who knows?
“Yeah, the guys want to resume the party back at our place.” He muttered, noticing the look of confusion you had on your face.
The walk back to your apartment seemed like forever. All the while, you attempted to ignore Jaehyun’s presence beside you. You tried focusing on the tall buildings that lined the streets instead. You listened intently to the conversations surrounding you, nodding your head occasionally in agreement or disagreement. Even though you weren’t really listening, you still managed to keep up with what everyone was saying. By the time you reached your building, you were exhausted.
When you entered the elevator, the doors closed shut and the elevator began its ascent. As you waited for the elevator to stop at your floor, you sighed deeply. What was happening to you? Years ago, you were fine and able to control your feelings for someone. Now here you were. Unable to control yourself and frustrated at the same time. You couldn’t take it anymore.
As soon as you and your friends all passed through your front door, you pushed your way through the crowd and headed straight for your room. Once inside, you locked the door and lay face down on your bed. You reached down between your legs and gently stroked your clit. You could feel the warm wetness flowing from your pussy as you began to moan softly.
Please let him come in here. Please let him come in here and fuck me hard. I want him to use me, make me cum over and over again. God please, just come in here and take care of me. Make me forget everything that has happened today. Fuck me until I scream out your name.
You began to rub harder as the pleasurable sensations intensified. Your fingers slipped between your wet folds and found their way inside of you. You felt an orgasm building up within you and increased your speed even more. Suddenly, you felt a finger slip inside of you and it caused you to groan loudly.
Your breathing became heavier and you tried to hold it back. But it was too late. You couldn’t control yourself anymore. The wave of pleasure overtook you. As you felt yourself climaxing, you closed your eyes and burrowed your face in your pillow to drown out the noise. When you finally regained your senses, you looked down at your fingers. They were coated with your juices.
Fuck. You really needed to get laid.
Wiping your hands clean on some clean towelettes, you walked back into the living room where the rest of your friends were waiting. They were having another great time chatting and laughing together. While some of them were talking about sports and entertainment news, two of them were sitting on the couch sharing a bottle of wine. Others were talking about future plans and vacations. None of them paid you any mind.
Except for Jaehyun.
He watched you carefully as you passed by him and smiled when he caught your eye. You immediately looked away and continued walking to the kitchen. Once there, you opened the refrigerator and took out a water bottle. You unscrewed the cap and took a quick drink.
Then you walked back to the living room. You avoided eye contact with him and pretended to be engrossed in what was being discussed around you. He did the same thing. Not wanting to make eye contact, you forced yourself to listen and participate in the conversation. It was difficult, especially since you were unable to take your eyes off of him. Every now and then you would catch him watching you and would quickly avert your eyes away. But when you turned your head away, you would catch him doing the exact same thing.
It seemed to take forever, but eventually, your friends decided to call it a night and left the apartment. When it was just you and Jaehyun in the living room, you grabbed a blanket from the couch and stretched it across your lap.
Jaehyun sat down on the couch opposite of you and picked up the remote. For the next half hour or so, he flipped through the channels on the television and settled on a cooking show. But every now and then he would glance at you. Sometimes he would smile and other times he would frown. But either way, you couldn’t look away. He was fascinating. 
And attractive. 
Very attractive.
Finally, you found something to say to him. “Jaehyun, what the fuck happened back at the restaurant? When your hand was on my thigh?"
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders and smiled. “I don’t know. It’s kind of hard to explain.”
“Well you better try. If I hadn’t been so fucking tipsy, I would have kicked your ass out of here.”
Jaehyun chuckled and shook his head. “No, you wouldn’t have done that. That wasn’t your intention.”
"What is my intention?" you asked.
Jaehyun tilted his head to the side and cocked his eyebrow. "Hmm... I think you know, Y/N."
"Don't play games with me, Jaehyun," you snapped. "I'm not in the mood for it tonight."
"Why not? Is there something wrong?" he asked.
"Yes, actually there is. And you're partly responsible for it. You and your stupid hand. Do you do this to every woman you meet? Or are you doing this just to me?"
Jaehyun laughed. "You mean you've never had anyone touch you like that before?"
You rolled your eyes. "Of course I've had people touch me like that before. I'm not a virgin."
Jaehyun's expression grew serious. "Then how do you explain the way you reacted to me touching you?"
"Honestly, I don't know. I guess I was caught off guard. I didn't expect anyone to touch me like that. Especially you."
"But you liked it, right?" he asked.
Suddenly, you had no idea what to say. Part of you was embarrassed. But most of you wanted to get it over with. You didn't know why, but the sexual tension that was building between you both was unbearable. But the problem was you didn't know how to respond. After spending months fighting your attraction to him, you didn't know how to handle it now that it was happening.
"I suppose I did," you said quietly.
"Is that so?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.
"Maybe..." you responded, trailing off.
"Tell me. Tell me exactly how you liked it."
There was no doubt in your mind that Jaehyun was completely dominating the situation. You just didn't know how to handle it. But at the same time, you also found it incredibly arousing. It was making you wet. So wet. So very, very wet. Your pussy felt like it was ready to burst. Yet at the same time, it was driving you crazy. How was that possible?
The sexual tension in the room thickened as you and Jaehyun stared each other down. You swallowed hard and stared back at him. “Okay. Well first, it felt good. But then it felt even better when I realized that you knew exactly what you were doing. That you knew exactly how I liked it.”
You heard Jaehyun let out a soft chuckle and leaned back on the couch. “That’s interesting. Why did you say that it felt even better? Was it because you were imagining that I was the one touching you?”
“Yes,” you replied without hesitation.
Jaehyun placed his feet on the coffee table and crossed his arms over his chest. His intense gaze bore into yours. “So you enjoyed fantasizing about me? About how good it would feel if I touched you like that? Did you ever imagine what I would taste like? How I would feel inside of you? How many times you would cum?”
He paused and gave you a smug grin. “Now that I think about it, I can’t help but wonder what else you imagined. And who you imagined it with. Did you picture me?”
You felt your heart race. He was reading your mind! You couldn’t believe it. But as much as you hated to admit it, you were flattered. And aroused. God, you were so turned on right now. The thought of having sex with Jaehyun was making you weak in the knees.
Without realizing it, your mouth started to water. You swallowed and tried to keep yourself from drooling. It was almost impossible.
“So tell me,” he pressed. “Who did you fantasize about?”
This was it. This was your chance. Now or never. You couldn’t waste this opportunity. “You,” you whispered.
“Oh really?”
You nodded slowly. “You… you’re the only person I ever pictured.”
Jaehyun leaned forward and planted his elbows on his knees. He pursed his lips and stared at you. “Is that so?”
“Yes,” you said firmly.
He stood up and stepped closer to you. “So when you were getting off earlier, did you think about me?”
His words sent shivers down your spine. You nodded slowly and bit your lip. You could see the desire burning in his eyes.
“Did you dream about my body? Did you dream about the way I would feel inside of you? Did you picture our faces as we kissed?”
You gulped and closed your eyes. Oh god. Please don’t stop. Don’t stop.
Jaehyun smirked. “Do you like that image? Do you want to feel my cock inside of you? Do you want me to fuck you until you cum over and over again? Would you let me eat you out until you begged me to stop? Would you let me cum all over your pretty little face?”
As soon as he said those things, you knew he was going to do it.
And you were going to let him.
You were suddenly overcome with excitement. Your clit throbbed and you desperately needed release. Your breath hitched in anticipation. All you could think about was letting Jaehyun finally give you what you wanted. All you wanted was to feel his warm tongue teasing your inner thighs. To feel his fingers pressing against your swollen clit. To feel his cock filling you up. You moaned loudly and dropped your head back on the couch.
“Oh yes,” you moaned. “Please. Please. Please. Fuck me, Jaehyun. Please.”
Jaehyun grinned. “Very nice.”
“Oh please,” you begged. “Just do it. Just fuck me already.”
Jaehyun's eyes darkened. “Oh, baby. You sure are begging for it. Are you sure you want it? Are you sure you’re ready for me?”
“Yes,” you breathed.
Jaehyun removed his belt and unbuttoned his pants. Then he unzipped his fly and pulled out his stiffening cock. As soon as he saw you staring at it, he gasped. “Look at you. You’re absolutely beautiful. You’re so beautiful.”
His eyes drifted down to your exposed breasts. “Your nipples are getting so hard. They’re practically bursting through your shirt. Do you want them sucked? Do you want me to suck them until they’re red and swollen?”
You nodded frantically. Yes, please.
“Fuck, baby." Jaehyun moaned out. "Get on your knees so you can suck me off. Get on your knees and open your mouth wide. Open it up real big so I can fit my dick in your mouth. Let me hear you moan. Suck me off until I cum all over your pretty little face.”
With trembling hands, you pulled your shirt over your head and threw it onto the floor, your nipples hardening. Without thinking twice, you moved to kneel in front of Jaehyun. When your knees met the ground, you grabbed hold of his cock and brought it close to your mouth.
“Open up,” he ordered.
Without any hesitation, you opened your mouth and wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock. A wave of pleasure rushed through you and you took more of him into your mouth. Inch by inch, you continued sucking him off. You were amazed by how big his cock was. It was thicker than any cock you had ever seen. And judging by the way he was stroking it, you could tell he wanted it bad.
“Mmm, baby,” Jaehyun groaned out. "That feels so good. You’re such a good little cocksucker. God, you’re so hot. You look so sexy sucking on my dick. You’re so fucking hot. I’m going to fill you up so full of cum. I’m going to cum so deep inside of you.”
It was only seconds later when you felt his warm jizz begin to coat the insides of your throat. His dick twitched and pulsated in your mouth as you felt his cum hit the back of your throat. He groaned and pumped his hips, pushing himself deeper inside of you. You gripped his shaft tightly and let out an agonized cry. He thrust harder and faster, hitting the back of your throat repeatedly. With each thrust, his balls smacked against your chin.
Finally, after several minutes of continuous stimulation, he collapsed onto the couch next to you. You held his still erect cock in your mouth and gently licked his head clean. His eyes remained closed and he seemed to be breathing heavily. When you finally released his cock from your mouth, you watched as a small amount of his seed oozed out of the tip and slid down your cheek. You wiped it away with the back of your hand and licked your lips. You looked over at Jaehyun, whose eyes remained shut. Suddenly, his eyes flew open and locked onto yours. He stared intently at you, a mischievous smile on his face.
"Was that okay?" he asked.
You shrugged. "Mmhmm."
"Good. Because I have another fantasy I want to fulfill tonight."
Jaehyun pushed himself up off of the couch and reached for your hand. Pulling you to your feet, he led you towards the bedroom. Once inside, he reached for the rest of your clothes and quickly began taking them, and his, off. You shivered as his cool touch brushed against your skin.
"Lay down on the bed, baby."
When you got onto the bed, Jaehyun climbed on top of you and ran his hands up your legs, causing goosebumps to appear on your skin. He leaned in and gently kissed your neck.
"Fuck, you're wet."
"Jaehyun, I've been wet since the restaurant. I'm so horny," you confessed.
"Don't worry," he reassured you. "I'll take care of you. I promise."
He sat up and ran his fingers up and down your inner thighs, making you tremble. He smiled. "Are you excited?"
You nodded enthusiastically.
"Then spread your legs."
You parted your legs and watched in amazement as Jaehyun slipped his fingers between your folds. A gasp escaped your lips when he rubbed your clit, sending tingles throughout your entire body. He bent down and softly kissed you on the lips.
"Mmmm, baby. I love tasting you. You taste so sweet."
He kissed you again and then began kissing down your stomach. After several long moments, he stopped and glanced up at you. "God, you're so beautiful. Look at you lying there naked. So vulnerable. So wet. So ready."
His words caused your heart to flutter. He gazed down at you, studying every curve. "You know, I used to have dreams about you when we were younger. The first time I saw you naked back in high school, I knew I'd want to make love to you one day. Even though you didn't want me."
"Who said I didn't want you?" you teased.
Jaehyun laughed. "You're too adorable, you know that? But seriously, it wasn't just your physical appearance that made me fall in love with you. It was your personality. You're so carefree and innocent. But underneath that innocence is a naughty girl who needs to be taken advantage of. You need to be seduced. Tempted. And most importantly, you need to be fucked."
You whimpered and squirmed beneath him. "What else are you going to do to me?"
"Just wait," he replied. "You haven't even seen anything yet."
He placed soft kisses along your stomach, working his way down to your navel. Finally, he got to your pubic bone and ran his tongue around it. He looked up at you with lustful eyes.
"Spread your legs wider for me, baby."
Slowly, you parted your legs, exposing yourself completely. Jaehyun stared hungrily at your pussy, which was now glistening with moisture.
"My god, you're so beautiful," he whispered.
He dipped his finger into your slit and stroked it around your tight opening. He put two fingers inside of you and stroked them back and forth. His eyes focused on your face, which displayed your complete submission to him. Your cheeks flushed pink as his actions turned you on.
"Fuck," he muttered. "Your pussy is so tight. God, you feel so good. I could spend hours playing with this pussy."
A low moan escaped your lips as he pumped his fingers in and out of your body. Every thrust of his fingers sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
"Tell me what you want," he instructed.
You hesitated for a moment before deciding to go for it. You looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Fuck, Jaehyun. I need you to eat me out. I need you to lick my pussy. I want you to make me cum. Please. Please. Please."
He smiled. "Are you sure? Do you really want me to eat you out? To get between those thighs and pleasure you?"
"Oh god, yes. Please."
Jaehyun wasted no time and started licking your pussy, slowly moving his tongue in circles around your clit. He flicked it against it occasionally and sucked on it. He kept going until you were writhing under him. You grabbed hold of his hair and jerked it as he pleasured you. Within seconds, your body went limp and you screamed out his name as your orgasm overtook you. You bucked your hips up against his face, forcing his tongue deeper into your wet pussy. He continued licking your clit, driving you insane with pleasure. Soon, he removed his fingers from inside of you and lapped at your juices, continuing to massage your throbbing clit.
As you lay panting, you looked up at Jaehyun, who was staring down at you. You stared deeply into his dark brown eyes and let out a satisfied sigh. You were pleasantly surprised to see a satisfied smile forming on his face.
"You liked that, huh?" he asked.
"Absolutely," you answered, smiling back at him.
"Well, you better get used to having me between your thighs. I'm not going anywhere." And with that, he flipped your bodies so that you were now lying on top of him. Your bare breasts were pressed firmly against his chest and your legs straddled his hips. He smiled as he began rubbing your back with his hand. "I want you to ride me. Put my cock in your pussy and ride me like you mean it."
"Yes, Jaehyun," you answered breathlessly. You reached behind you to grab his hard cock. Slowly, you lowered yourself down onto his throbbing length. The feeling of it filling you up caused a wave of pleasure to wash over you. As you buried him to the hilt, you gave a slight moan.
"Do you like that, baby?" he asked.
"Oh fuck, yes," you responded. "You feel so fucking good. So good."
Jaehyun lifted his hips slightly, increasing the friction of his cock inside of you. At the same time, he moved his right hand to squeeze your left breast. "That's it, baby. Ride me."
As you continued riding him, he switched up his rhythm and began pumping his hips back and forth. You moaned and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. 
"Fuck, Jaehyun," you moaned. "This feels amazing. Fuck. I can feel your dick all the way inside of me. That's it. Keep doing that. Yes, oh god, please keep doing that."
His pace increased and soon he was pounding into you harder than ever before. The sight of you on top of him was incredible. He pulled you tighter against him, giving you a deep kiss. His lips devoured yours, causing you to shudder with pleasure.
"Faster, Jaehyun," you demanded. "Fuck me harder. Harder."
He slammed into you over and over again, moaning as he did so. Your hands were braced against his muscular chest, leaving your fingertips lightly touching. 
"Harder, baby," you cried. "Give it to me. Give it to me hard."
"That's it, Jaehyun. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck," you yelled, as your orgasms came upon you. 
He suddenly rolled you over and pinned you to the bed, wrapping his strong arms around your waist. Your arms were trapped above your head as he continued slamming into you. The friction of his dick rubbing against your sensitive clit had you struggling to breathe. His movements became increasingly rough and demanding, prompting you to bite your lip. His breathing became labored as he slammed into you repeatedly. You felt his warm seed splashing against your lower abdomen and between your legs.
Suddenly, he withdrew from you and flopped down beside you, panting.
"Jesus fucking christ, Jaehyun, that was amazing," you panted.
Jaehyun nodded his head in agreement. "It was. I don't think I've ever had sex quite like that."
You grinned. "Me either."
He propped himself up on an elbow and studied your naked body. "So did this live up to your wild fantasies about me? Are you happy with how things played out?"
You shook your head. "No, it exceeded them. It was beyond what I expected. I loved every minute of it."
He smiled and reached over to run his fingers through your hair. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier," you told him. "But thank you for tonight. For everything. For fucking me and eating me out. For doing whatever the hell you wanted to do to me. You were perfect."
Jaehyun's eyes lit up. "Really? Thank you, baby. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Honestly, if it hadn't been for you, none of this would have happened."
You tilted your head curiously. "What do you mean?"
He sighed and shook his head. "Ever since high school, I've always fantasized about being with you. I told my friends that you'd be the one. They thought I was crazy, but now they agree with me. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."
Your heart skipped a beat. "Why didn't you ever tell me these things?"
"Honestly, I was afraid of scaring you off. I didn't want to lose you. We'd grown up together, after all. I figured if I talked to you about this stuff, it might change the way you felt about me."
"How did I change the way you felt about me?"
He shrugged. "I guess the whole thing just scared me a little bit. You were my childhood friend. Our relationship meant something to me. But I guess now that it's finally happened, I feel relieved. Like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders."
He sat up and looked down at you. You could feel his eyes burning into you.
"Jaehyun, I feel the same way." You started. "We've been friends forever and I don't know when and how it happened, but I guess I started to have a crush on you. And then starting college together and becoming roommates, I started to feel sexually attracted to you. Not only that, but I started to become extremely jealous whenever you talked to other girls. I always wondered why you never tried to ask me out or kiss me."
You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you admitted to your feelings.
"Shit," he murmured. "Don't cry, baby. It's okay."
"So why now?" you asked. "Why all of a sudden, you finally decide to make a move tonight?"
"Because you moaned my name when you were getting off earlier," he explained. "I was just sitting in my room, reading up on some assignments and then all of a sudden, I heard you moan my name. It made me think that you saw me as something more than a friend. I couldn't stop thinking about you. About us. Tonight, I couldn't stand it anymore. I knew that I needed to be with you."
Tears streamed down your cheeks as you heard his words. There was nothing sexual about his confession. It was pure honesty and desire. You threw your arms around his neck and buried your face in his chest. You felt his arms wrap around you, holding you tightly.
"God, baby, I love you," he said. "And I can't wait to show you how much I love you. In fact, I can't wait to do everything you ever dreamed of doing to me. I can't wait to see your face light up when you realize how special I am to you. When you realize just how beautiful and sexy you are to me. How incredibly lucky I am to have found you."
His voice grew husky and serious. "Let me take care of you. Let me protect you. Let me give you everything you ever wanted and more. Let me show you how great life can be."
You pulled away from him and gazed into his eyes. You could tell that he meant every word he had said.
"Promise me something," you said.
He furrowed his brow. "Anything."
"Promise me that this will never end. Promise me that you'll stay with me. I know that we're still young and that things might change, but please promise me that we'll always be there for each other."
Jaehyun was speechless. He smiled at you softly. "Baby, that's all I could ever hope for. I swear that I will always be here for you. Always. Whatever happens. No matter where our lives take us, I'll be there for you."
A tear fell down your cheek. "I'm so sorry. I'm such a fucking mess."
Jaehyun gently wiped the tear from your eye. "No, you're not. Look at you," he whispered. "Look at how beautiful you are. Look at the way you look at me. God, I wish you could see how gorgeous you are. You make me fucking weak in the knees."
He leaned forward and kissed you tenderly on the lips. His soft touch sent shivers down your spine. Before long, he pulled away from you. "Just relax," he said. "I want you to fall asleep with me. Please."
"Okay," you agreed. You snuggled closer to him. "Your bed tonight and then we'll sleep in mine tomorrow."
"Sounds good to me," he replied. "Now go to sleep. I love you."
"I love you too, Jaehyun."
You closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep in the arms of the man who had stolen your heart.
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bitchimasnake-sss · 1 month
Note
hiii this is the anon that requested part two and i return begging for part three of tennis! zoro.
ahem.
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
thanks for coming to my tedtalk! :)
in all seriousness though i would love to see a part 3 and definitely think you should have an ao3 to post longer content!! please keep up your lovely writing 💋💋 (MAKE ZORO REALLY WORK FOR IT HEHEHEHE [i was sobbing over how cute his little offerings were AND FALLING ASLEEP AT THE DOOR i cant])
UR THE ONLY ONE KEEPING ME GOING GIRLY 🎀😞. SO GLADDD YOU LIKED THAT ONE, HERE HAVE THIS ONE NOWWW. ILL MAKE ZORO EXTRAA PATHETIC FOR YOU MWUAH😚
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bitchimasnake-sss presents: the one piece AUs
03. AITA for going back to my ex? ft. roronoa zoro!
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set-up: part 03 [FINAL PART] to my badminton player!zoro au lol. you can find the first two parts here! (i recommend you read those first!) getting your heart broken when you were seventeen was inevitable, getting it broken on camera seven years later was also inevitable, it seems. but letting your ex back into your life with the glittering promises of "i'll win you back in a month?" was getting your heart broken again and again and again also inevitable? most importantly: was roronoa zoro worth your sanity? warnings: dumb people, even dumber plot by me! includes angst towards the end, zoro is an idiot trying his best to win you over! cameos by nami, sanji, perona and mihawk because i love writing them tysm. and obviously smut (hehe u nasty). nsfw thoughts include: feral!zoro. this man is nasty, he likes blood, sweat and tears. a lot of overstimulation, a little bit of bimbofication, hints of dub!con, car-sex, penetration, teasing, dirty talk, a little bit of feral!zor. OKAY THAT'S IT!! MINORS DNI OR I WILL HUNT YOU! wc: 10.6k m.list
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17th of october 11:43 p.m.
"really?" and you could hear sanji drop his precious cigarette onto the ground in pure, unaltered shock, "are you toying with me right now, love?"
"no." you replied firmly, nimble fingers getting caught against familiar, green locks as roronoa zoro pressed honeyed lips to your stomach. he trailed downwards, uncaring as your manager spluttered on the speaker.
"you are actually dating that green-haired freak?" from his tone alone, you could imagine sanji to look wide-eyed and tongue-tied. meeting the eyes of the said “green haired freak”, you found a sour expression plastered to his handsome features.
"no... well, not yet.” you swiped your fingers against his scalp, manicured fingers softly scratching the frown on his face away, “we're on a one-month trial phase."
"are you and him a netflix subscription, mon amore? what do you mean one month?" the blonde hissed. but you were far too gone, too warped within the feeling of the athlete’s soft kisses on your hiked-up thighs to even offer a hairsbreadth of attention to your critic.
"well–" as the sportsman hands trailed over your thighs all-too-intimately, you found yourself sighing blissfully, "he said he wants a month to win me back.”
“that is insane.”
“maybe. but his time starts today, so, we have until 17th of november to come to some sort of conclusion." zoro didn’t dare still against your soft skin. kneading the fat of your hips, pressing hot kisses to thighs and nipping at fading bruises to renew them. but you tightened your grip on his locks, tipping his head backwards as you pulled on them. glaring at him, you breathed out a warning, “either he cleans his act up, or i leave him in the dust."
but who was roronoa zoro if not the man made to get on your nerves?
his mouth fell agape as his eyes met yours, and a soft moan tumbling past him at the sharp sting of your pull. that wayward moan soon turned into a grunt as the sportsman toyed with the band of your shorts.
“stop that.” you whispered, eyes growing wide as the blonde on the other end of the speaker continued his distressed rants.
"and what do i do about it?!" for the first time in the five years vinsmoke sanji had been your manager, you heard his voice shake in panic, "you two just broke up! in front of the cameras! like a week ago!"
"it's fine, sanji. people get together all the time—"
"—not if they're olympic level athletes!"  
"hey, you have no idea how much shit goes down in the olympic village." you shrugged, "last time 160k condoms were given out, and people flew threw them like it was nothing. there’s lots of crying. and fucking too, actually. sometimes both, now that i think about it."
“rabid monsters.”
“don’t be jealous. athletes just have a lot of stamina.” while you were busy rolling your eyes at the blonde and his dramatic antics, zoro climbed back up over you. a smirk on his lips, flashing you his canines, and mouthing “really? stamina?”
clad in a fitted, black tank top, your eyes drifted down to his arms and chest. shamelessly staring at the muscles flexing and unflexing under the flimsy material, you brought your free hand to run wild against his bicep. finding his index under your jaw, he tilted your face up to meet his eyes again. you smiled up at him without much thought and his heart stuttered out in the rhythm of his shallow breaths. fuck you for being so pretty.
before you could nod and ask what he wanted, he pressed a chaste kiss against your lips. next, he sunk his face in the crook of your neck. you felt the nip of his sharp canines against your sensitive pulse. but that sly bastard. all of that was to distract you from the way he dipped his hand under your shorts and pulled your panties aside.
“zo–“ you started slowly, but it was all in vain. the man above you was on a mission. and that mission was apparently to get your own manager to report you as a sex offender or something?! atleast that’s what it felt like from the way he rubbed his thumb against your sensitive clit. 
“either ways.” your manager huffed, ignoring the way your breath hitched at the new bruises against your neck and the stuttering swipes of his thumb against your folds, “this is still insane.”
"weren’t–” you gulped, trying to keep your voice steady, “you were the one saying that my job is to playand yours’ to take care of such things, so, do that.”
“and i can! i can fix it.” you heard a thud ring through the speaker and imagined that the blonde had fallen back onto his back helplessly, “but i need time to fix this. gotta talk to nami-san, and then i will need to fix the narrative using the media. i need time.”  
barely raising his lips off of your narcotic skin – with a flushed face and husky voice – zoro replied coolly, “don’t worry, nami’s on our side with this one.”
“HUH?! WHO WAS THAT?”
pinching the taut skin of the athlete’s bicep as a warning to stay shut, your tone stayed sickly sweet, “who? ‘twas the wind, sanji.”
“don’t try to sway me with your use of ‘twas.” he hissed like a wet cat, “is that mosshead here right now? is he in your room right now?!”
“and if you’re worried about the paps, roronoa will buy them out, you know?” as if to protest against your suggestion, zoro flicked his thumb faster against your swollen nub. you glared at him. “a-and if you’re worried someone will see us, they won’t. we won’t go public with it.”
“none of those suave answers.” sanji firmly stated, “answer what I asked first. is he there right now?”
you whistled a soft, “dunno what you’re talking about…” before drawing your phone away from your face, “because that’s blasphemous!!” purposefully covering the speaker with your palm, “hey, hey? sanji- hello? can’t hear… hear you right now. hello?”
you heard a muffled, “DON’T YOU DARE PULL THAT ON ME OR SO GOD HELP ME–“
“still can’t hear you.” your thumb hovered over the red button, “g’night, sanji!”
beep.
“i’m paying for the paps?”
trying to push his weight off of your relatively smaller frame, you huffed out, “c-can’t you stay shut when i ask you to, roronoa?”
in retaliation, he pressed more of his body weight onto you. snuggling his face into your crook and inhaling your scent like a man crazed, his fingers kept toying against you like it was as easy as breathing.
you tried to push him off again, gritting out, “do you think a good dick is enough of a reason to come back? cause it is not.”
“it is one of the reasons, is it not?”
“no. is it not.” you repeated, “shut it, and find a new strategy or something.”
“fine, tsk.” and with that the sportsman got off of you. pulling his hand out of your flimsy shorts, leaving behind your aching body as he got up. standing at the door, he looked back just to delve his long fingers past his lips to suck down on your essence. smiling as he pulled out, he made his conclusion in one, swift word, “sweet.”
and you just threw a pillow at him, face flaming up at the way he just simply caught the pillow and threw it right back at you, “fuck off, roronoa.”
“hm?” he cocked his eyebrow, careful hands still not attempting to open the door and leave, “I’ll just head back to my room, then.”
you found yourself crossing your arms over your chest, half to give him attitude and other half to soothe the skin that had been alit with his body over yours, “go, then. you’re the one who wandered in my room with unholy intentions.”
somebody could mistake his as the reincarnation of the devil with the way he was grinning. all unholy thoughts and malicious actions, “you’re the one still laying, waiting for me to do something.”
at his (correct) accusations, you sat up haughtily. adjusting the tank top and pulling it upwards, you found yourself glaring at the towering man for the nth time, “you’re insufferable. is this how you’re gonna win me back?”
“hey,” he shrugged, broad shoulders moving up and down with delicate ease, “worked the first time, didn’t it?”
“i was seventeen.” your eyes narrowed, “and you used to be way more handsome back then. it won’t work this time around.”
he hummed again, and within his cocky tone you could anticipate he had something to nag you with, “so i was handsome to you? that’s adorable.”
“fucking insufferable.”
“but handsome nonetheless?” and you almost threw your phone at his pretty face when he just grinned and exited the room. actually, no. you almost threw your phone when you realized that you were blushing, and fighting off a smile as he left your room.
what was this man doing to you?! ──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
19th of october, 7:58 p.m.
🍓attempt 01: no limits.
“okay, and i have no limits?” you asked again, just to ensure that you heard him right.
“yes, you do not.”
“and you’re not gonna sue me for using your money?”
“no, i will not. i don’t think i can legally.” he sighed, “do you wanna do it or not?”
“i do, but…” zoro's heavy voice kissed your ears, cutting you off, "then, stop whining. no buts, no ifs.”
“is this really how you’re gonna win me over?” mumbling, your lips fell into an easy pout, “feels more like bribery.”  
“nami said the quickest way to a woman's heart is shopping. or just cold, hard cash, really. but i figured this was more romantic." tilting his face downwards, his voice dropped down to a whisper, “does it feel romantic yet?”
goddamn that freak!
your skin erupted into a violent goosebump as you felt his words against your soft skin. your face heated up as your fingers stilled against the keypad of your laptop, the home page of your favorite shopping site pulled up and resting neatly. ready to do some damage on his wallet. well, honestly, what damage? he was a well-paid nepo baby who had a personal gym and court in his house. this would probably barely feel like a pinch to him.
“again, i ask for your consent.” you asked anyways, trying to remind yourself to be a business-savvy woman who had only come to absolutely wreck his wallet. zoro declared monotonously, “i give it with full consciousness. jesus, woman.”
“okay then, no taksies backsies.” you cleared your throat in anticipation. stretching your fingers slowly as they hovered over the keyboard. his arms wrapped around your middle and you fell against his chest with a soft thud, “start already.”
“what’s even the reason for this?”
“your manager said we can’t go out, like in public. and blondie hates me enough as it is right now. so, i didn’t wanna risk taking you shopping outside.” roronoa zoro found himself revelling in your dishevelled demeanour. voice honeyed, he rasped out, “what’s wrong with my room, though? nice ‘n comfy, isn’t it?”
“I meant what is the reason for me to sit on your fucking lap?”
“oh that?” he was laying in his bed, with you atop him and your laptop atop you. you grumbled on, “and is it necessary to do this in your room? the living room is a perfectly perfect place to shop online.”  
“you want me to get handsy in front of my father? that’s too much. the old man would probably die if he saw me like that.” he hummed, “not sure he’s ever even done anything. you know, given both me and ‘rona are adopted.”
you glared back at him at the shit he spewed but then your eyes widened as realization sunk in, “holy shit is he a forty year old... virgin?”
“dunno.”
“but he’s like emo, and vampirish. there’s no way he didn’t get some during the twilight era.”
“he was also the world champion at that time,” zoro reminisced, “he must have gotten girls.”
a laugh escaped you by, “zoro.” you stressed, “you’re the world champion right now. and the tally of girls you get is at a great zero.”
zoro mulled over your words before slowly shifting his pelvis so that you fell back at him unexpectedly, “not zero. got a girl on my lap right now.”
his laugh echoed yours as he held you tighter, and you tried to wriggle free, “jus’ cause you’re paying. no other reason.”
“how does it feel to lie to yourself?” he asked with mock grievance in his tone, and you tried to elbow his side to break free, “die.”
“kill me yourself, coward.”
“i will.” you admitted, still laughing as he decided to somehow tighten his grip even more firmly, “don’t. you’d look horrible in orange.”
“how dare you, roronoa zoro.” your palm struck his forearm playfully, “do not talk about my fashion choices when you shower once a week.” 
“nobody had a problem with it thus far,” he answered back easily, “but if you have a problem, i suppose i could shower semi-regularly.”
“semi-regularly?” you almost coughed up a hairball, “jesus christ, i don’t think i would able to fuck you ever again.”
“liar.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
22nd of October, 7:43 a.m.
🍓attempt 02: the way to the heart is through the stomach (i think??)
“roronoa.”
“father.”
“what are you doing in my kitchen right now?” the man raised a careful eyebrow, staring at his dishevelled son who he had caught not a minute earlier bickering with a red-head on his phone.
“cooking,” zoro deadpanned, “i'm trying to make waffles.”
his fathers hawk-like gaze swept over the kitchen. flour sprinkled over counter-tops, some on his cheek, a batter that looked more radioactive that the what remained of Chernobyl. the older man drawled on, “and i presume you know how to cook?”
“no. she's helping.” he flashed his father his phone-screen and the familiar, scorned woman who was on video-call. when she caught sight of mihawk, she smiled, “sir mihawk, how are you?”
“just passing by. come by for dinner someday, nami.” the man deadpanned and the manager laughed, “of course. how can I refuse?”
now his hawk-like stare was trained on zoro, who stared back at his father as if they were sworn enemies on court, “what is it, now?”
“is it for her?”
“who else?”
 “don’t burn my house down.”
“understood.”
and with that brief conversation, mihawk disappeared back into the mazes of his house, and zoro went back to bickering with the red-head.
“you add milk.” she emphasized, clicking her manicured nails together as she tried to guide an idiot to build the equivalent of rome, “do you not know what milk is?”
“i have enough calcium in my bones and I will not fall for scams like milk or medical insurance.”
“what?” she spluttered, “y-you don’t have insurance?!”
“when am I ever gonna need it, woman?”
“oh my god. you don’t have insurance!” and the last thing zoro saw the manager do was flip him off as she ran to some place elsewhere. possibly to get him some sort of medical insurance that he totally didn’t need. beep.
zoro’s fingers hovered over his contact list, the next stop being perona neesan 💗👻 .
“'rona.” zoro grumbled as he caught the face of perona on the other side. huge sunglasses were perched on her nose, a silky bandana flowing from her coloured hair, “awh, you remember me, zoro. finally.”
“quit that,” he mumbled helplessly before turning the back camera, “i need your help.”
“you’re committing arson at dad’s place?” she raised her sunnies so as to see the kitchen better. flour everywhere, and whatever the fuck was in that batter. kissing her teeth, she admitted, “i mean i don’t endorse violence… but that kitchen could use a makeover.”
“no. jesus, perona.” he turned to camera around to his face, “i– uh, i need to make waffles. an’ i don’t know shit. can you help or what?”
“huh?” her bug-like eyes widened impossibly wider, “yeah, obviously i can. but why are you cooking? is dad dying? and is his last wish to eat burnt waffles?”
“haha, funny.”
“wasn’t being funny. you have like... two left hands.”
“just to remind you, i’m ambidextrous.” zoro replied, poker-faced, and perona pouted, “who are you making them for, then?”
“myself.”
“liar.” narrowing her eyes, she probed further, “is it your ex? oh my god. are you guys actually together?”
“what?” zoro narrowed his eyes in return, “fuck off, ‘m not asking you for help.” he sighed, “where did you even hear about that?”
“it’s her?!” the goth girl squealed, “and you didn’t tell me?! I thought it was regular PR stuff that nami dragged you into. but she’s back? i remember how you sobbed when–”
“bye, 'rona. don’t call me back.” beep.
roronoa zoro had barely breathed when his elder sister called back. he picked it up with a groan, “what? I’m not answering your stupid questions.”
“okay fine.” she huffed, “’m not gonna ask you about your pathetic, little crush right now. keyword: right now.”
“perona.” he tried to threaten but the woman just leaned forward till her face was all zoro could see, “show me some respect, i’m older than you.”
“sorry.” the green-haired mumbled and his sister nodded in self-satisfaction, “and as far as waffles as concerned, don’t cook. you’d burn the house down. just order them in and say you made them.”
“isn’t that like, practically lying?”
“it is, yes.”  
“and aren’t you gonna tell me how it’s morally wrong to do that?”
“it’s a fucking waffle, zoro. not the olympics.” she finally pulled the sunnies back to her face and carefully perched them on her nose again, “nobody cares about cheating. just win her over, and thank me later.”
“you’re a bad influence, you know that?” a small smile cracked across his face, “oh, by the way–” the sportsman quirked an eyebrow, “do you have health insurance?”  
“i mean, who doesn’t?”
“me.”
“what?”
“nothing. thanks, i appreciate it.” the goth girl eyes widened all over again and zoro cut the call before her concerns could reach him.
8:55 a.m.
“you know what’s insane?” you mumbled through a mouthful, “i can swear that joanna’s bakery down the street makes these exact waffles.”
“do they?” zoro leaned forward, pouring more syrup to distract you, “that’s wild.”
“it is.” you nodded before taking another mouthful, “you know what else is insane?”
“how much of a good cook i am?” he tried, before having a bite himself.
“no.” you smiled at the way he gulped down the sweet breakfast up, “the fact that i swear i saw a brown bag with their logo in the trash, and now these waffles taste exactly like theirs.”
zoro froze, eyes trained on the mess of fried batter and syrup. he slowly looked up, “that’s insane, indeed.” he averted his gaze as you deadpanned, “you’re a terrible liar.”
“isn’t that an ideal quality though?” he tried again, “like, i could never lie to you.”
“mhm,” you nodded as a smile pressed to your lips, “try harder next time.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
25th of october, 10:03 p.m.
🍓attempt 03: with love, from an idiot.
“if this backfires, then what?” the man asked, and you could only make out faint noises from his phone. a faint, “if it backfires, then, you don’t get the girl, genius.” but nothing beyond that could deciphered as you stood with your ear to the door of your room.
“are you done?” you knocked at your door when the bickering on the other end ceased momentarily. the wood echoed under your faint hits as you called out again, “can I come in or what?”
there was no answer and you busied yourself with tracing the pattern of wood on the door once over. your forehead touched the cold wood, frustrated at yourself for allowing that beast to take over your territory.
zoro had waltzed into your room and declared that he was going to kick you out of your own room.
“huh?” you had mumbled, too confused at the way he tugged your arm and tried to push you outwards, “no way I’m leaving. fuck no.”
“I need like half an hour. I promise–”
“–if you intend to paint my room green, zoro.” you had barely started when he asked you to leave again. so, obviously, you both bickered for a good five minutes, got yelled at by mihawk cause you two were interrupting his wine drinking hour, and proceeded to bicker in whispers before you had to finally cave in and go out.
now, you were sitting in front of the closed door, and tracing patterns in the hope that sooner or later, your territory will be given back to you.  
“yeah, come on in.” you heard the man finally yell back from the other side, and you sprung up to your feet in part-excitement, part-fear. your fingers tried to turn the sleek metal handle to swing it open. except it wouldn’t open. moving it front and back, your eyebrows bunched when the door refused to budge open.
“what the fuck?” and to your surprise the green-head on the other side yelled back, “jesus, stop trying to break open the door.”
“it won’t open!”
“because I’m trying to open it for you.” he hissed back, “and you’re pulling from the other side. stop it.”
“you stop it.”
“if you could just let me do that for you. fuck–” the door swung inwards with such abrupt, wicked force that you almost kissed the ground face-first. glaring up at the man, you seethed, “what was that for?”
“i was trying to be a gentleman.”
you straightened up, squaring your shoulders defensively, “don’t. you’re barely a fully-functioning man.”
while you were waiting for him to counter you with his regular flirting disguised as hostility, instead his face softened and he apologized, “sorry. come on in?”
“huh?” your shoulders went slack, eyes narrowing at his broad figure as you walked past him and into the room.
the lights were dim.
“what’s this?” your eyes scanned the place, he had made a pillow fort on the ground with whatever haphazard sheets and pillows you had been hoarding in the room. the tv in your room showed a still from netflix: Ten Things I Hate About You.
you bent down, thumb and forefinger raising the sheets upwards to properly see inside, you saw packs of chips and instant ramen, coke and chocolates stashed to the side.
still frozen, you found him meekly call out your name, “do you hate it? do you? you do, right?” you heard the door lock behind you, “i can undo it, it’ll take me like ten minutes tops. it is literally not a big deal, i’ll take it down.” his voice dropped down to a whisper, “jesus fuck, I told nami this was stupid.”
he knelt next to you, forearms stretched forward as if he was itching to pull the flimsy housing to shreds. your hand grabbed his, face turning to meet his shy one.
“you did this for me?”
“uh,” he hesitated, “remember, blondie said no going out. so, I thought i’d try… this?” his voice grew weak, “you hate it.”
“you did it for me?” you repeated, almost in disbelief.
he sighed methodically, “who else?”
a grin broke on your face, “i didn’t take you for a romantic, roronoa.”
he shrugged off the goosebumps that threatened to break on his body at your reaction, “pfft. whatever. it’s not a… it’s not a big deal. nami helped… so, yeah.”
“you even put on my one of my favourite movies.”
“yeah, yeah.” the sportsman stood up, walking away from you to duck inside the fort and arrange the food items. but you could see his ear-tips growing redder, coy eyes carefully avoiding yours, “you’re, uh, you’re welcome.”
“but if you’re trying to impress me.” you followed suit, “this is not gonna work.”
he turned back to stare at you. a deer in headlights. “’s not?”
“well, I know you’re not a romantic. nami surely is though, it seems.” you settled down on the comfy mattress, turning your body so that it faced the wall the tv was plastered on, “i know this won’t happen again once we’re actually dating.”
“hey, it’s not like I’m not romantic at all. see, i’ve been doing well these couple of months. i think?” he tried to defend but you cut him, “you’re off season right now. once you have your five a.m. trainings and regular matches, you’d forget I even exist. you forget to eat, to fucking breathe when it comes to your game. a whole ass human?” you found yourself scoffing, “you would give up in a day. and that’s me just speculating based on observing you from afar per these past few months.”
he fell silent, probably reeling from your accurate observation. you sighed, trying to ease the unnecessary tension you had created, “i’m not attacking you, zoro.”
features downcast, lips pulled into an emotionless straight line. he repeated, “you’re speculating based on observing me from afar per these past few months?”
you probably should have drawn the line here, probably should have said okay and turned on the movie. but you were so well-versed in the language of self-destruction that someone should arrange a fucking pulitzer for you.
“you’re a sportsman first, son next.” you prayed your voice held atleast an inch of sympathy as you did a neat, little character assassination of the poor man. “as much as I appreciate the gesture, I am not sure where lover falls on that priority list. you like the chase, the idea… that i am something grand.” you stilled, “but i’m not. i am not an olympic medal, or a grand slam title. i'm just some woman.”
“you’re not just some woman.” he breathed slowly. “i suppose you have a point. i am not a lover. my hands find the racket before they find a bouquet, my words find silence before they do declarations of love. i- i don’t how to… just love.” he repeated to plead his case.
and this was it.
you barely held your breath as the man next to confirmed just who he was. he was not a lover. he was the number one on the global charts. and how selfish had you been to demand that he be anything but that demon on court?
“but,” zoro proved you wrong. “i wouldn’t have sacrificed long days and sleepless nights for just some woman. you underestimate how much you mean to me.” his breath grew strained, words unsure as if it was the first time he was telling the truth, “five years is a long, long time to come back home and yearn for your arms.”
you didn’t turn your head to gawk at him even though every cell in you wanted to. every inch of you wanted to turn your head, grab his face in your smaller palms and ask him to confess just how much you meant to him. but you were not sure you could listen to him come up empty handed like a fish out of water. you were not sure you wanted to find out just how easily roronoa zoro could break your heart.
but as the two of you fell into silence, your eyes zeroed in on the zooming in and out title card on tv instead, “let’s jus’ watch.”
“you mean everything to me. always have, always will.” you felt his palm on yours, and you flinched at his careful touches. pulling your hand back to your chest, you felt the familiar speeding up of your heart against your ribcage, “don’t. zoro, please.”
“don’t what?” he tried to ask, tried to turn toward you with anticipation making a home in his irises and vile thoughts on his lips.
don’t what? you tried to find the answer to the very same question. don’t what? what did you want to say to him? was it “please don’t make me think you could love me all over again.” or “please don’t break my heart again.” or just a simple “don’t say another word or i’d find myself risking it all for you. and i cannot stand to be the fool who fell for you yet again.”
just a series of unfortunate ‘agains’, it seemed.
instead, you turned your body towards his, tentative hands coming up to hold his face in yours before falling back to the mattress. you raked in a forbidden sigh, the sound so loud in the eerily quite room. finally looking at him, you found yourself growing dumber.
somehow, like this – vulnerable – he looked like just another twenty-two year old. not a world champion. not somebody capable of destroying you.  
“i am not sure i’m ready to get my heart broken by you again.” you confessed slowly, like a coward. “i am not sure i can celebrate my next birthday, just to beg some meaningless god above for you once more.”
“then don’t.” his eyes drifted downwards, heartsick fingers twitching as they inched closer to your warmth. his words were low, like yet another coward. “don’t ask for me back if i break your heart again.”
was it that simple?   
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
26th of october, 8:09 a.m.
you woke up with open packets and stacked cups of ramen on the floor, some episode of friends blaring on the tv and zoro stirring you awake.
sunlight filtered through the window, streaming in and pouring through the linen onto the man in front you. he was pretty, achingly so. his hair was tousled, lips parted, and thick brows bunched together like he was playing a match right now, “wake up.”
“huh?” rubbing your eyes, you tried to blink sleep away but instead grew more confused the longer you ruminated about his words, “what?”
“up and runnin’.” he repeated, “i need you.”
“need me?” your face contorted to show pure, unadulterated confusion, “zoro, ‘slike eight a.m.? can’t you wait a while?”
something nostalgic stirred within you as he smiled and bent down to face you easily. did the sun always get caught against his frame like he was a deity with a chokehold on you?
his smile was easy-going, and suddenly, you were fourteen year olds planning to ‘run away’ from home because you wanted to see the world. his voice shook you out of the daze, “get your head out of the gutter. didn’t mean it that way.”
“huh?” you couldn’t even find yourself growing offended amid your sleep-infused, hazed state. “what do you mean then?”
he tugged on your arms to help you sit up, “we’re going on a road trip.”
“we… are?” your expression grew awry, “where?”
“pack up and meet me outside,” he stood up, “you’d find out once we get there.” 
“but zoro, hey–” you tried calling out. but it was futile as he walked out of the room, and you stay seated in the mess of sheets and pillow and tried to make sense of what was and what is.
5:42 p.m. 🍓attempt 04: next destination: love!
zoro stared at his phone for what seemed like an eternity. your gaze shifted from him to the deserted road and back to him. the dull sun inching near the horizon skeptically as if watching you two making a fool of yourselves. the winds were warm, and your road-trip was in the hands of an absolute idiot.
you slumped back into the leather, muttering, “should’ve never let you navigate.”
“let me concentrate, woman.” he huffed as his forefinger and thumb zoomed in on the unknown streets on his maps.  
“how do you ever go anywhere?! your navigation powers are in the negatives.” tone haughty, you turned around to stare at him, “what kind of grown ass man gets confused on google maps? it literally said go straight!”
“i did go straight.” he turned to stare at you, tone just as haughty. “and i have a driver usually, i don’t drive by myself.”
“you went straight?” you repeated, somewhat amused by his ability to get lost on a straight highway. you craned your head, eyes peering past the black, tinted windows to stare at the deserted road, “and we ended up here? near a ghost town?”
“hold on.” he shifted his attention to the useless app pulled up on his phone screen. his face bunched up in irritation, throwing his phone on the dash-board before shifting the gear to start moving, “no point staying in one place, let’s keep movin’ and we will eventually figure it out.”
“figure what out?” you groaned, slumping back all over again, “atleast tell me where we’re going.”
“surpr–” you cut him off, “there would be no surprise if we never reach it!”
“okay, fair.” he breathed in slowly as the SUV made its way down the deserted road, passing by curated farms only inhabited by scarecrows. he sighed, “if we don’t figure out the road by nightfall, i’ll tell you.”
10:53 p.m.
“so,” zoro avoided your heated gaze, finally admitting the truth, “guess we’re lost."
“yes. yes we are, roronoa.”
“and it’s nightfall, so, i should tell you the destination.”
“yes. yes you should, roronoa.”
“don’t use that tone with me.” he tried meekly and your eyes narrowed in response, “why? are you scared?”
“no.” he cleared his throat, trying to sound like his usual self as he looked around in the lonely diner. the wooden table was rickety, the theme of the diner felt vintage-y, but in a way that was more unused than vintage. a lone, old woman waited behind the counter as you both munched on your dinner. once done with his inspection, he continued, “but it’s unnerving. you sound like nami, and she’s a witch as far as i know. red-head, you know.”
“you have moss-green hair, roronoa.”
“witches support witches.” he emphasized, and in return, a witch-like laugh past your lips, “you should be unnerved. good, because i feel like i have no choice but to sacrifice you in a satanic ritual to go back home now.”
the old woman behind the counter looked at you with utter dread in her eyes but you were too busy stabbing your fork in your grilled cheese, “now, spill. where were we going?”
he sighed, “home.”
“home?” you repeated, “home?”
“i thought i’d take you back to our childhood home,” his voice trailed off.
“why?”
why that wretched place? the place that become bleak, repetitive once you were left all alone five years ago, once he left in the blink of an eye. you routine had become monotonous after him: badminton court, school, home, practice, home, practice, home, sleep. rinse and repeat. repeat. repeat. repeat.
pursing his lips together, he looked down at his plate, “for old time’s sake, i guess?”
“old time’s sake?”
“there was a time when neither of us hated that little, suburban town.” he grinned, “remember that park with the broken swings?”
“that shit was haunted.” you took a bite, conspiring through a mouthful, “i mean why else was it never fixed?”
he continued, “and that public swimming pool? how was every guard there a creep?”
“except dave.” you nodded in agreement, a slight smile playing on your lips, “dave was cool.” 
"he liked you so much, it was stupid." zoro huffed before popping a french fry in his mouth.
“you're the one to talk. do you remember courtney?” you grinned, shoving an index in his direction, “she had suchhh a huge crush on you in middle-school. it was honestly confusing.”
“why was it confusing?”
“you looked like a kiwi,” and you laughed when his eyebrows bunched together and he almost pouted, “i believe it was you that liked this kiwi.”  
“tch, that was lifetimes ago.” your voice softened as he stayed quiet, the two of you just looking at each other as if registering each other’s silence as the only, absolute truth. the knife lodged in your grilled cheese slipped past your grip and a soft clang rang out as it hit your porcelain plate. you hummed, “should’ve told me we’re going back. i would have helped you navigate, zoro.”
“’sfine.” he shook his head, right hand coming up to scratch the itch away and re-set the strands of hair, “we can just head back. if we leave now, we’d reach by dawn. it’s pointless to go back to that old town now.”
you sighed, fingers interlocking as you slumped back against the worn out seat. the booth was cold against your back, the light bulb flickering momentarily as the two of you existed in a place far removed from reality, a place where the two of you were just twenty-somethings eating dinner at a worn-out diner.
“are you done eating?” you asked once he pushed his plate away. he nodded and you found yourself tugging his arm to leave the diner.
“what’s wrong?” he asked, confused, as he trailed after you. you glanced back once, “if we keep moving forward, we’d probably figure it out, right?” you stilled, turning fully to face him, “let’s go home, yeah?”
if roronoa zoro could, he would follow you to the miserable depths of hell. what was a small town compared to that?
he nodded, “yeah.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
27th of october, 6:29 p.m.
“this is it, huh?” you stared at the massive suburban home in front of you. the lawn was trimmed, kept nice and clean as you two stood in front of what was once your humble abode.
your family had sold the place once you expressed that you wanted to move away to do better in your profession, and you had never had the heart to come back and check who bought the place or who didn’t.
“wanna walk around town?” zoro offered his palm, albeit a bit hesitantly, “let’s see what has changed.”  
well, that small creak behind your middle school had dried up, now littered with popped soda cans and torn packs of chip. cigarette butts stuck between jagged rocks and dried leaves. the ‘haunted’ park was still not fixed, but you saw little children running around, the scarfs against their tiny frames flying behind them momentarily as they chased each other around. and the leaves on the ground stirred like they were alive under their light footsteps. the old public badminton court had been renovated, it seemed, and the streetlights had been upgraded to a softer orange-y shade rather than the harsh white you both grew up under.
“they made another mall where the theatre was.” zoro commented as you both walked by what used to be your old cinema hall.
“you remember the theatre?” you asked as your eyes raked over the looming white structure with faces of celebrities plastered onto hoardings with the bold declarations of ‘now playing’.
“of course,” he shrugged, muscled arms methodically going up and down, “we had our first date there.”
“it wasn’t a date. you told me you wanted to catch the movies and then you tried to hold my hand for the next two hours.” you emphasized, kicking the dried twigs on the sidewalk. zoro joined in, lazily kicking fallen leaves and scoffing, “perona said it was. i even bought you caramel popcorn.”
and you found yourself giggling, “you even remember the flavour?”
“i remember everything.” his tone appeared to be nonchalant, “a white tank-top with strawberries on it and a blue-wash jeans, that’s what you were wearing.”
you lips pressed together, “can’t believe you remember that.” you came up to softly poke his side, “who would’ve thought you’re a romantic?”
“yeah, yeah.” he rolled his eyes, biting down an infectious smile, “i just have a good memory.”
“good memory?” you scoffed, “how come you’re such a bad navigator then?”
“tch, i’m just a bit geographically challenged.”
you laughed as your footsteps fell one in front of the other, and he trailed behind wordlessly.
as zoro saw you walk in front of him, your dainty hands interlocking so you could stretch them overhead and the way you looked back at him to beckon him towards you, so as to follow you faster. all of it made his heart twist unnaturally in the pit that was his chest. all of it.
next, you both passed your old high-school. standing at the metallic fence, the sun dipped far below the horizon as the streetlights behind you flickered and came alive. the two of you stood behind the metallic, looking at the buildings that had seen you grow in it’s hallways. when you sighed, the air fogged up just a tiny bit, “your blue jersey from state championships, and black jeans. white adidas too.”
“hm?” zoro cocked his head to your side, and you continued, “that’s what you were wearing on our not-date.”
“you remember?”
you pressed your forehead to the metal, the cold fence digging indentures onto your forehead, “of course i remember. i actually have a good memory.”
the two of your stood in frigid silence and the nightly winds grew stronger around you both. you pulled back, turning your face towards zoro, “it’s growing cold, wanna head back to the car?”
his thumb came up to ease away the red markings on your forehead, the friction of his touches melting away the cold essence of the metal. once he was satisfied with his damage control on your forehead, he nodded, “one more pit stop, then, let’s head back.”
10:02 p.m.
the car was parked in the middle of the field where you had spent reckless evenings just like this with zoro five years prior, to the very field where you had last seen him before he left without a word.
you remembered that cruel night as if it was your whole existence. it might as well have been considering how many time you had replayed the same night in your head over and over and over again, wondering if you had done something stupid.
you had sneaked out of your home, and he had sneaked here after his practice was finally over. his hair was sweaty, boyish features coloured a brutal shade of petrified as he approached you under the night sky.
“what’s wrong?” you had asked once you had noticed his downcast eyes and his shivering hands.
“nothing.” zoro had pressed his lips into a thin smile, “’m just tired from the practice.”
“oh?” you held his palm in yours, pressing a sweet kiss to it, “don’t worry, soon you’d win the state championship and then we would have all the time in the world to hang out, right?”
maybe you should have understood it right then when roronoa zoro simply nodded and looked away you. he had never been a good liar anyways. 
that night, you both had sat down on the ground. staring up at the night sky, you had traced the constellations with your finger-tips and made false promises of a candied future that never came by. the soft grass under you both had tainted your cream coloured shorts green that day. yet another cruel reminder of him, yet another proof that he and you were real, yet another physical evidence of the love that once was.
“why’re we here?” you couldn’t be bothered masking up the irritability in your voice. the raw edges of hurt cut right back your mortal body as you stepped out of the passenger seat.
“c'mon.” that’s all zoro said as he lend you a hand and helped you climb the car’s roof top.
“zoro.” you repeated sternly, but he just helped you up without much explanation. once you were perched on the metallic frame, he climbed up and your voice momentarily wobbled, “a-are we sure the roof’s not gonna break?”
“no, ‘snot.” he clarified, slowly inching closer to you till you could feel his body warmth against your arm.
tilting your face upwards, you drunk in the sight of the malevolent sky littered with heavy, grey clouds that covered the usual litter of stars; so cruel but so pretty underneath it all.
zoro pulled his knees to his chest, softly perching his chin atop them with a sigh, “pretty, isn’t it?”
“why’re we here of all places?” you pulled your knees to your chest, mirroring his actions.
“it felt wrong to leave without seeing this place once.” he admitted softly, “d’you hate it that much?”
“yes. i do.” you nodded, burying your face against the jagged, scarred skin of your knees. you hated this place, and the pair of green-stained cream shorts in your cupboard were nothing if not the proof of that.
“such a shame,” he sighed, “’s a pretty place.”
“zoro–” but he cut you off, “we’ve changed so much in these five years, haven’t we? let’s get to know each other again.” he lifted his head to look at you, “what’s your favourite hobby?”
you scoffed, “you’re kidding.”
“i’m not.”
“did perona put you upto this?” your eyes narrowed, head still tipped back to stare at the grumbling sky, “or nami.”
“no.” he stressed, “my hobby is probably playing pool now. luffy put me onto it, it‘s kinda cool.”    
“i thought sleeping was your favourite past-time.” you turned to look away from the sky and at him but somehow couldn’t. you sighed, slowly admitting, “that was what you always said in interviews.”
“did you stalk me via interviews?”
you tucked your knees one over the other and straightened up, “says the man who watched every match where I got my ass handed to me.”
“i never said i did or didn’t stalk you.”
“you also didn’t say that you won’t break my heart again.” his eyes were boring into yours as you turned your face to finally find his, “you just said to not pray for you back.”
“would you believe me if i told you i won’t break your heart?”
traces of sleep lingered in his eyes, patterns from guilt long-gone-by traced onto his cheeks. you realized with a certain ache that you would probably believe this man if he told you he made the colosseum in his past life, and that he was Genghis Khan re-incarnated. but the fact that he won’t break your heart again? doubtful.
you turned your face back to the thundering clouds. they flashed a myriad of colours and loud sounds enveloped your mortal figures as they churned impatiently above you. you heaved in a breath. slowly exhaling, you asked, “when i lost women’s doubles against the boa sisters, you know what they said to me?”
you believed he knew the answer, being an interview-stalker himself. but he played along, “what?”
“they asked me if you broke up with me because I threaten your legacy as number one, zoro.” a deep sigh passed you by, “since i’m still number two, and from the looks of it they don’t think i’ll be one any time soon.” a mirthless laugh escaped your lips, “honestly, i don’t think I’ll be one any time soon.”
“do you really think i give a crap about shit like that?” zoro raised his face fully, widened eyes looking at you as if you had just accused him of skinning men alive.
“why else would you leave everything behind to be number one, roronoa?”
to you it was clear. he wanted to be number one, so, he left everything behind to be it. simple as that. he wanted to go after his dreams, so, he sacrificed everything he loved. you just happened to be unfortunate enough to be one of those things he loved. simple as that.
“i promised someone.” he finally admitted when you stayed silent, “back when i was in foster care.”
“what?” you found yourself turning your face to look at his, and the man who stared back at you seemed to be a man ravaged and hunted, like a mere prey for guilt.
roronoa zoro had never kept any secrets from you. never. not when he met you as a kiwi-looking middle-schooler at thirteen, and not when he was about to be twenty-three a decade later. no secrets other than his past in foster care. you knew mihawk adopted him when he was eleven, and perona when she was fifteen but no more than that. his past in the foster-care, that one was off-limits.
no questions, no answers.
and you had never pushed. it was something he wanted to forget and you’d be damned if you brought his demons to his under the pretence of harmless curiosity. that was it.
no questions, no answers.
then why was he speaking of it now?
“i only had this one friend. no. she was more like a sister, really.” his eyes hardened, “kuina. she was obsessed with this game, and i hadn’t even heard of it. every fucking time she got her hands on the tv to the communal room, she would turn on sports channel and tear through them till she found one playing re-runs of badminton.”
your muscles ached, and suddenly you were reminded of the air you had ceased to breath in. zoro continued, “she used to drag me to play, and then she used to beat my fucking ass at it. every fucking time. then, one night…” his voice grew thicker, like tar lodged right in his larynx, “she told me that one day, she would make it out of that shitty foster system and she would be number one.”
“somehow, seven year old me thought it would be fun to argue with her. so, i told her ‘no, i’d be number one and you’d be watching.’ she told me no. she had every right to. she was a better player than I was. she deserved this more than i do.”
“zo,” your hand found his bicep as his eyes glossed over, “you don’t have to tell me.”
but you didn’t know any player by the name of kuina, so, it didn’t take you long to guess where the story was headed. somehow, you stomach still dropped when zoro spoke the next part aloud, “she died a day later. ran into the fucking street while chasing the shuttle that the wind blew over. died on the fucking spot.”
“zoro.”
“i made a promise. a-and she was my sister.” 
“zoro.” and you moved to engulf him within your arms. you felt him shudder under you, face pressed to your chest in a bleak effort to hold back tears as you held him tighter and tighter against yourself. as if your weak, mortal body could undo the past or stop him from the torment that was his own mind.
“i’m sorry.” your words paled in comparison to the feelings that brewed within the depths of your stomach. as if to reflect the words you couldn’t utter, drops of rain poured down onto you both mercilessly, as if the skies were mourning.
“i’m sorry.” you repeated, arms moving haphazardly to hold him to yourself closer. his hand moved with just as much desperation, trying to clutch onto you as if you were the only tangible thread of sanity left within him, as if your touch was all that grounded him, kept him alive.
“i- i can’t, i won’t lose you.” he mumbled into your skin, “i won’t let it happen. not again.”
he raised his face to look at you and bloodshot eyes met yours. his hair stuck to his forehead, lips quivering and you couldn’t tell which drops were tears and which rain on his soaked face.
your eyes racked over his frame. from his uncaring hair, to the eyes that had grown weary far too young, to the same pair of lips you had ached to call home, and finally the arms that you had yearned for much the same for the past five years.
“zoro?” you leaned towards him as your voice grew weaker. rain drops on your lips clung helplessly as he followed your voice, face falling forward till your foreheads were mere hairsbreadth apart, “y-yeah?”
why did your breath sound so strained? how come you could feel your heart pumping wildly against the bones lodged in your chest? how could you taste the metallic taste of blood and rain on your lips like as you heaved out ragged words?
you bit your lip to stop it from quivering helplessly. words failing to voice what not even your brain could, you asked for similar candied lies, “say you won’t break my heart again.”
words desperate, he nodded, “i won’t.”
“no,” your breath grew more ragged as each second passed you by, “no. swear on it.”
his calloused palm came to rest on your cheeks, forehead touching as he closed his eyes shut. “i swear on it. i, roronoa zoro, promise to never break your heart again.”
“and if you do?”
“you’re more than welcome to break my skull with my own racket. plummet it down really hard.”
a small smile cracked at your lips, “really?”
“promise.” he hummed. and as he leaned forward to catch your lips against his in a sickly, sweet routine, you pulled back.
he barely had the second to react before you crashed back into him. you couldn’t wait any longer. your lips against his in a clash of teeth and lips and tongue and the faint taste of rain on your skins.
“’s pouring.” he panted, words barely being processed in your lucid state, “wan’ you s’bad though. so, so fucking bad.”
the next you knew, your wet back met the leather backseat of his car.
the sportsman hovered over you momentarily. and next, all you felt was his naked skin pressed to yours, his calloused palms tracing patterns long-forgotten to your sides as he gulped down anything you had to offer. any cries, any grudges, any desires.
you pushed him away just to be able to breath, but air seemed to be the last priority on zoro’s mind as he caught your lips against his in a methodical, little game all over again. panting against your pretty lips, his fingers tried to rid you of your soaked jeans and panties. and all of it was so lewd, so unbearably lewd.
from the sounds of his skin on yours, the sound of the rain violently crashing against the tinted windows and the sounds of his desperate huffs and pants as he tried to manhandle you and get rid of the whatever unholy layers separated you from his feral touches.
“z-zoro,” you stuttered helplessly and the man that peered down at you resembled more a demon ready to fester on the last bit of your lucidity rather than the man you loved.
“c’mere.” he husked, and within moments he was under you. laying prettily on the backseat as your honeyed heat hovered only inches away from his pretty lips. as he stared up at you, his strong arms wrapped around your hips and he pulled you to his lips.
“fuck,” his eyes rolled back as he ran an experimental flick of his tongue against your core, and you flinched, already pulling back from him.
and how could you blame roronoa zoro for tightening his grip against your thighs and fully seating you over his face?
“none of that hoverin’ shit.” he declared in a series of hot pants against your drenched cunt, “let me eat my girl out properly.”
“z-zoro,” you bucked forward as his lips attached around the sensitive nub, sucking like he knew your untimely demise was his very duty. strong fingers digging into the fat of your hips as he ate you out like a man starved, like a man ravished.
it was all so messy, all so untamed, feral. just a mix of spit, your honeyed fluids and his insane determination to make you unravel at the tip of his tongue.
he sneaked in a hand, forefinger and thumb pinching the nub as his tongue delved deeper into your velvety hole. your eyes rolled back as his strokes stayed unrelentless against your heat and you found yourself falling apart at his preying touches, “oh my god, zo. ‘m gonna fuck–”
“cum f’me.” he rasped against you, the other hand coming down to smack the fat of your ass. you ass recoiled under his pressure and you jolted as he rubbed the stinging area better. hot tears pricked at your eyes as he brought down a unrelenting hand at the same strawberry-red patch of skin. the pain mingled in with the methodical strokes of his tongue and the messy rubbing from his fingers pushed you past your limit.
your walls spasmed, sickly sweet dew pooling at his lips as you bucked forward with a strangled cry in your throat, “zoro, zoro, zo.”
you weren’t quite sure if you imagined it, or if you truly felt roronoa zoro smirk against your aching cunt before pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses onto the damage he had done.
as you tried to catch your breath, zoro kissed – no, devoured – your clit. your throbbing bundle of nerves caught between his lips dangerously, he sucked on it as you bucked and keened over him, “one more. c’mon, baby.”
“no, please.” you tried to cry out but the maddened man could hear nothing over the blood rush against his ears and the ecstasy of your orgasm on his tongue. clenching his eyes shut, all he could focus was on the way you squirmed over him. trying to run away? pushing him away?
he couldn’t help but grin like a man gone far too gone because this was like a challenge, and what did roronoa love if not challenges? you were practically begging him to eat you till you cried and begged him to let you go, were you not?
“z-zo.” your voice failed you at your fourth orgasm and all you could feel was the muscle pushing in and out of your sore, aching cunt and his fingers pulling on your nipple so, so meanly. “z-zoro,” you tried again, this time without stuttering, “you’re s’mean, zo.”
“am i?” the way he sounded, you felt like only more torture was on your way, “am i so, so mean?”
you nodded, tears rolling down your pretty face as he thumbed your sore clit and cooed, “sorry, baby.”
“y-you’re not sorry,” you hips spasmed at his careless touches and you threw your head back to hold back a cry, “you’re n-not sorry at all.”
“’m not,” he admitted cockily, pulling you upwards so he could press kisses to your sore thighs, “only i get to ruin my girl.”
“y-your girl?” you sounded so out-of-it, so innocent with the way he had fucked you dumb. wobbly lips, teary eyes and hoarse voice. god, he loved you. he nodded, peering at you as if breaking it down for you, “my girl.”
pulling your quivering thighs off of him, he sat up and softly placed you on his lap. when you met his pussydrunk face, his lips were drenched off of your essence. he wiped his face off the back of his hand, then using the same hand to pull your jaw forward to kiss you senseless all over again.
his mushroom tip sat hotly against your inner thigh, smearing the glossy precum all over your soft skin. as zoro battled his tongue against yours, your nimble fingers toyed with his flushed cock-head. as you softly thumbed the slit, zoro found himself whimpering against your pouty lips, slowly pulling back.
“ah, fuck.” he breathed in slowly, eyes rolling back as you finally stroked his dick. you met his eyes definitively as you brought up your soft palm to your mouth. spitting on his soft skin, you brought it back to his angry shaft nestled against your thighs.
moving it up and down, your face dipped down to his neck to bite down on his pulse. instead of whimpering the way he was, his strong hand came to push your head harder against his tanned skin. he rasped, “harder.”
and you sunk your teeth into his skin with enough force to break his skin, just to find the man under you stutter and his white seed to coat your hand. his hips stuttered, eyes clenching shut as realization set in, “f-fuck. shit hah, i came?”
growing cocky at the way he came undone, you bit down a teensy bit harder. until you felt the sweet taste of iron on your lips and you pulled back to see a small droplet of blood beading at his neck. but before you could apologize, zoro noticed your crimson hued lips. pulling you towards him, he revered in the sweet metallic tang of his blood against your tongue. madman.
the sportsman hummed against you as he pulled your sore hips upwards and positioned his cock to nudge your slit ever-so-slowly.
“mmph, zo–” you tried to speak but his mushroom tip got caught against your clit so deliciously. moaning, he guided his dick to finally push past your hole and your jaw went slack at the sinful stretch.
hair sweaty and clinging to your skin, your head was thrown back as he pistoled his dick in with slow circular motion of his hips, and you tried to ground himself by digging your nails into his shoulders. zoro grinned, his canine on display unabashed, “feel good?”
your jaw slacked open, just for nothing to come forth other than half-coherent jumbles of his name as his tip kissed your sugary sweet spots with the urgency of a madman. shallow thrusts into your cunt only resulted in persistent prodding of his tip against your g-spot. his thumb pressed debauched words to your clit as your hips moved on their accord, with only one goal: to forget anything but his ungodly thrusts into your rueful cunt.
“feel s’good, zo. feel so, so good hah mhph–” you babbled, nodding as he moved your hips up and down to fill you up and leave you empty over and over and over again. a hand snaked upwards to pull at your roots, tipping your head back so that he could sink his teeth and brand up your soft skin just over the column of your throat. 
“feel good?” he repeated, eyes almost crossing over at the crimson mark on your neck. if you felt like you were losing sanity, there was no need to feel lonely cause zoro trailed not farther behind. he laughed, bringing you down harder on his shaft, “feel good, baby? does my girl feel good?”
you nodded, eyes clenching shut as his cock massaged your gummy walls and his thumb tortured your poor, aching clit so well.
the familiar feeling built within you again, like a fire that burnt you to a crisp from within. your walls spasmed, head thrown back, drooling as roronoa zoro made it his life’s purpose to fuck you as hard as he could. to a point, where, you felt like he was just holding back to not break you.
“l-look at me, angel.” his hand squished your cheek mercilessly, pulling your face down just to press a mocking peck to your pouty, drooling lips and laugh when you jolted from the orgasm, “oh my g-god, zoro! fuck aah, hah shit shit shit.”
you slumped forward, sweaty forehead pressed to his heaving chest while he continued to fuck into your overused cunt. his thrusts grew weaker – erratic – before he painted your walls white.
“shit, baby.” the man laughed, his chest vibrating from the stuttered falsetto, “one more?”
“zo…” and the way you looked up at him so teary-eyed, shaking your head no. another challenge?
so now, of course zoro had you pressed in such a mean mating press, mumbling against your swollen kiss-bitten lips, “you’re doing so well, baby. ‘m so proud of my girl.”
“y-yeah?” you stuttered out, batting your tear-stained eyelashes so well that zoro couldn’t help but lap at the tear-drops cascading down your cheek, “mhm, course angel. take one more for me, can you?”
you nodded as if you had a choice.  
his chest pressed up against yours, broad hand pulling your knees so far high so that he could plunge in and out of you so very easily. zoro panted with every slow drag of his shaft against your addictive, sugar-sweet walls because every small movement seemed to set you alight. your cunt grabbed at him hungrily, clutching him so tightly as if you refused to let him go.
managing a few more thrusts, he brought your weak hand upto his throat and pressed your hand onto his pulse. you stared at him, wide-eyed, before pressing harder. as your soft hand pushed harshly against his pulse, zoro pushed into your heat harder with a low whimper.
his hips sputtered as splashes of white painted your walls all over again.
the sportsman heaved, dipping his sweaty face down to the crook of your neck and pressing his body weight on yours. after what seemed like eons of just catching up his breath, zoro slowly pulled out and you gasped at his absence.
“are you okay?” he pressed a chaste kiss to your collarbone before trailing upwards and pressing another to your cheek. your muscles went slack under him, soreness creeping up the tendrils of your flesh as you fluttered opened your eyes, “’m tired.”
“already?” the man grinned, licking a soft stripe up your jaw. your weak hands pushed him away, groaning, “already?!”
“sorry, c’mere.” settling beside you in the cramped seat, he pulled you to his chest. humming faintly as his fingers softly caressed the damp tressed and you melted against the feel of his warm skin against yours.
the soft pitter-patter of the rain against the windows quietened, the morning mist hovering around the car like some forbidden protector and dew clung helplessly to leaves in the field. zoro pulled you closer to himself, his shallow breath against your forehead and his soft fingertips massaging your sore hips, “i think i love you.”
“you think?” your eyes fluttered open, trailing up softly to take in his peaceful expression. you bit the inside of your cheek, stomach churning as you dug your cheek against his chest and nodded, “i think i love you too.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
11th of november, 12:01 a.m.
“go on,” you shoved the cupcake in his direction, the candle light flickering softly and barely holding out against his stuttered breath, “for real?”
“hm,” you nodded, “make a wish, zo.”
“i don’t even have a religion.” he mumbled and you pinched the taut skin of his bicep in retaliation, “jus’ do it.”
“okay, fine. here goes nothing.” he closed his eyes. eyebrows bunching up in concentration and high cheekbones coloured orange from the weak flame. a moment passed by as the two of you stayed huddled on his bed, him praying and you looking at him.
a soft breath and the flame went out. when he opened his eyes, you smiled at him, “what did you wish for?”
“nothing,” he replied softly, calloused fingers interlocking with yours, “think i have everything i could ever need already.”
“happy birthday, zo.” you pecked him and pulled back, but he pulled you back to him.
knock, knock, knock.
“are you both done?” perona knocked at the door, “everyone’s waiting for you out, idiot.”
the next morning your twitter was flooded with the same blurry photo of you kissing zoro at his birthday party.
@/roronoaswifeyy said: yOU TWO ARE MY ROMAN EMPIRE OMG!!! @/sweatytoenails asked: IS THIS ANOTHER PR STUNT?11 OMG I CANNOT TAKE ANOTHER BREAK-UP. @/boaboaboa said: GUYS I THINK THIS PICTURE IS LEGIT, SOMEONE SAW THEM GO ON A ROAD-TRIP TOO
@/monkeydluffyofficial: very proud of zoro to be able to pull such a pretty woman without showering for days on end ❤️😃 @/dailycelebgossip: BREAKING: two-times grand slam winner and current number #1, roronoa zoro confirmed to be going out with his former flame!
@/vinsmokesanjiofficial: we will be releasing an official statement, until then PLEASE STOP TAGGING ME, YOU’RE BLOWING UP MY PHONE. AND @/ynln ANSWER MY CALLS. @/nami_bizconmgmt: like@/vinsmokesanjiofficial said, please wait for the official statement and @/realroronoazoro PICK UP MY CALLS.   
zoro wrapped a strong arm around your waist. sleep lingered in his eyes, and the pattern of the pillow case was imprinted onto his skin instead, “what’re you reading?”
you giggled, “people are losing their mind over the fact that we’re dating.” you looked over your shoulder, “can’t believe a PR stunt got us here.”
“oh, about that.” he mumbled, “nami never asked me to do that, i was just feeling bold that day. paid off pretty well though, didn’t it?”
“huh?” your eyes widened, words sinking in at a much slower rate, “HUH?”
“what?”
“HUH?”
“what?” he repeated with a grin, “it worked, didn’t it?”
“YOU ASSHOLE!” you pushed at him and he just held you tighter against his chest, “mhm, love you too.”
ladies and gentlemen, this is your friendly reminder to not go back to your ex by the way! they don't deserve you and aren't roronoa zoro!  
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a/n: i cannot believe this has come to an end!! aaaah took me fucking forever to finish it (and i have like 5 more characters to write for ://) but im so so grateful for anyone who loved this and has shown me that love. thakyou so much you guys! i'd be making an ao3 soon enough so that it's easier to navigate. again, thankyou for keeping up with me <3 tagging: @litlebruh @mist-ixx @briezy04764 @otkuhotgirl [the credit for feral!zoro goes to her] @mars-mizuko @florallyarranged @ayumitho @lyany2k @dietcokefizz @kokanee-readinglist @angelsforever999 @rengokushuaige @imlikeacoffeeconnoisseur @gojoistetti tysm for reading!! you all were so incredibly nice that im sobbing :')) i hope y'all enjoyed this! much love, vix <3 m.list
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joels-shitty-puns · 10 months
Text
The Key To Your Heart - Track 9
Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader
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Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.
Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Panic/Anxiety attack. Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).
Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!
Word Count: 2.7K
Series List: Here!
Miss Chapter 8? Here!
Hi everyone!! I really don't feel great about this chapter, I'm sorry if it sucks. I kinda just want to get it out there though because I don't see my brain thinking up anything better. A lot of writer's block surrounding this scene. Anywho, hopefully next chapter will be better, but I still hope you like it. Although we allude to a little bit of sexual situations now that they are together, I likely will avoid explicit smut being that Pedro is a real human and I am a guilty, guilty human for writing any smut at all. I don't want to offend Pedro (not that he'd ever see it anyway, I am delusional), but I also know people find real person fiction uncomfy as a whole. That being said, I think this story may be coming to a close pretty soon. I plan to have maybe one more full storyline chapter, and at least one little side bonus chapter :) Please let me know what you think in the comments, or DM me if you wanna chat! I love hearing all your thoughts. Thank you for reading and hanging in here with me.
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Before the screen even had a chance to load, you canceled the request. Nervously looking at Pedro, he held your hand under the table. “What is it?” he asked gently.
“I just realized,” you replied. “What if they ask about us? About those pictures? What should I say?”
Pedro answered with a gentle stroke of his thumb on your cheek. “Whatever you feel comfortable with. I'm sure I'll be fine with whatever you say, baby. I know your privacy is important to you, and I trust you. I'm all in with you.”
“Okay.” You took a deep breath and once again began the stream.
“Live in 3…”
“2…”
“1…”
The fans began to file in, and before you knew it, you had thousands of viewers. Opting to start with your screen covered, you wanted to give an intro first before the big reveal. 
It wasn't long before the comments flowed across the screen. 
You took a deep breath, squeezing Pedro’s hand, and jumping in. “Hi everyone! It's me… a lot has been happening lately and I decided it might be time to show a little more of myself.”
-“First!”
-“Did she mean to start a live video ??"
-"Hiii! I'm a big fan"
-“Is she there??”
-“Do you guys see anything?”
“So… Here's me.” You turned on your camera, waving at the screen, your stomach twisting in deeper knots.
-“No fucking way.”
-“!?!!!!!”
-“SCREAMING”
“Hi… Some of you might know me, some might be surprised. But this is me. This is the girl behind the music.”
The comments flooded in, entirely too fast for you to read.
“I want to thank all of you for being fans and listening to my songs. It really means a lot and I hope you liked the album. Your support blows me away, especially with what little information about myself I've given.”
More comments.
“Well, I uh… guess I should read some of these comments and answer some questions. I'm sure there’s a lot you all are wondering about,” you stated nervously, starting to read.
-“Why did you hide your identity?”
“Why did I hide my identity… I hid my identity mostly based on poor self image. I never expected my music to gain popularity, never expected celebrities to know it. Never expected any of it, and it certainly brought its share of criticism. I was scared to be in the spotlight and I didn't feel like I looked good enough to be someone famous. You know? I'm not skinny, I have flaws, and that doesn't always sit well with the Internet. I guess I was mainly scared of how I would be perceived. I'm just a normal girl who had her whole life flipped upside down when I wrote my feelings down,” you laughed anxiously.
Choosing to ignore the storm brewing in the comments below, you addressed the earlier comment. “Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad I can make you feel more accepted by seeing more plus-sized people in the entertainment business. Everyone should feel seen and have a place at the table, no matter what you look like, or who you are.”
-“I think it's nice to have more celebrities that look kinda like me.”
-“You're so humble!!”
-“You should've stayed hidden lmao”
-“Shut up, asshole. Why are you here if you're going to be rude?”
-“I'm sure you're a real supermodel behind that keyboard bravery.. smh”
You weren't expecting someone to actually feel like you were representing them and making them feel seen. You didn't think you had enough of an impact for that. You certainly weren't treated that way when you weren't famous. Nobody really even noticed you before.
You could feel Pedro’s eyes on your face, his thumb swirling circles and hearts over the space of skin on the top of your hand, below your thumb. The place where his bullseye resides on his own. Does he trace that tattoo when he's nervous, the same way he is with me? Perhaps his tracing of your hand is calming himself as much as it is for you.
Desperately, you wanted to look over at him and be comforted by his deep brown eyes, but doing so would cause people to wonder who you made eye contact with and smiled at. So instead, you gave a gentle squeeze and a smile towards the screen, hoping he would understand. 
-“Hi, I'm a big fan of yours. Can I ask… is what you said on your album true? You've never been kissed before? I haven't either and I was starting to feel like I'm just a freak.”
“Oh, honey, you aren't a freak. Everyone has things happen at different times in their life. But yes, everything I wrote in my album at the time I wrote it was true. And don't worry, I have felt the same way. Seeing others be kissed, falling in love… having the things I wasn't, it really hurts. But it'll be okay.. nothing is wrong with you. You're deserving of love.”
You hoped they wouldn't pick up on your usage of past-tense wording. Pedro, still holding your hand, rubbed his other hand over your arm gently.
-“Wait… at the time you wrote it? What about now?”
The comments were going wild.
Welp…
Your hands shook, and you used your opposite hand to place on top of Pedro’s that gripped yours. He squeezed gently, feeling the nervous tremors pass through your body, continuing to rub gentle strokes over your arm with his opposite hand.
“Uhm…” your cheeks heated and your stomach sank.
“I've changed a lot since this album was first written. Experienced new things. But I'm still the same person.”
Shit.
-“Who did you kiss?! Is it the guy in your song?”
-“Will you tell us who the song is about?”
-“Wait a second… you're that girl aren't you!?!!!! The one in the pictures with Pedro Pascal!!!!”
-“OMG IT IS”
-“!!!!!!!”
-“IS HE THE GUY!?!”
-“ARE YOU DATING!?!”
The nervous tremors continued, now threatening to cause your teeth to chatter. A full panic attack was brewing. Pedro squeezed your hand again, touching your knee and trying to do his best to ground you without speaking up on your live video. Skipper could feel the waves of anxiousness pooling off of you as well and crawled forward to settle his body across your feet. You took a few calming breaths, but when you went to speak, your voice still betrayed you.
“I..” your voice cracked, shakiness evident as you could feel tears starting to edge their way towards your vision.
I can't do this. I can't do this. I need to shut it off.
You shut your eyes, taking deep breaths, trying to ease your nausea and stress. 
Keeping your eyes closed, you spoke. “Yes.”
You took another deep breath. “Yes it was me, yes the song was about him. Yes.”
You opened your eyes to read the comments, tears pooling down your cheeks as you couldn't hold back your emotion anymore.
This is so embarrassing. The first time I show my face I'm crying and having an anxiety attack in front of the whole world.
You swallowed, choking back the full sobs that your body wanted to let loose. Wiping your face with the back of your hand, you began to read the comments, expecting laughter, criticism, and bullying. Instead, you were met with kindness.
Coming back to your senses, you gave a shaky smile. “Thank you guys. I'm sorry for my emotions.” You sniffled. Pedro was still rubbing your hands and arms, comforting you, having never stopped. His eyes still bore into the side of your head, and you knew he was struggling to not speak up or grab you fully. 
-“Oh my God, are you okay?”
-“I didn't mean to make you cry I'm so sorry”
-“You and Pedro make a cute couple”
-“Oh no, please don't cry”
-“Idk if you guys are dating but you seem cute”
-“I'm so glad you guys are spending time together when he's the guy in your song”
-“It'll be okay, please don't be upset”
-“You're amazing, we love you”
“Yes, Pedro and I have been spending a lot of time talking after he publicly commented on my song a few months ago. The party was the first time we met in person and we're still figuring things out,” you let go of your worries and broke eye contact with the camera, looking to your side to meet Pedro’s gaze. “But… we're happy.” You smiled at him. He smiled back gently, squeezing your hand, worry and sadness plaguing his face over your well-being. Breaking eye contact, you looked back at the screen.
You giggled before answering “well, I think that's all we have time for today. Thank you all for joining me!” You silently clicked off the stream, closing the browser, turning off the computer, and turning to Pedro. He grabbed your other hand in his, now holding both. “Are you okay?” He asked, concern etched in his face.
-“AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”
-“IS HE THERE WITH YOU!?!”
-“whaaaaat”
-“SCREAMING”
-“Shut. Up. This is insane.”
-“YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE I CAN'T TAKE IT”
“I think so,” you nodded.
“Seeing you panic and not being able to do anything without potentially making it worse… It killed me. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pull you into my arms and end that video myself. I hated seeing you so upset.” He stared down at your intertwined hands, rubbing his thumb over them again. 
“I appreciate you being here for me,” you let go of his hand to stroke his cheek. “I couldn't have done that without you.” You met his eyes, leaning forward to rest against his forehead. He let out a shaky breath. “I love you. I'm so proud of you.”
“I love you too,” you replied with a smile. “Let's move to the couch, huh?” You asked, pulling him up from the chair. He stood, just as your phone rang, a call from Rose. You quickly answered.
“I saw the live stream. You did wonderful! Don't worry about any of the negative comments you saw or any stories that come out of this. I'll handle it all.”
“Thanks, Rose.”
“Anytime. Take care.” She hung up.
You updated Pedro as the two of you walked towards the couch. “Do you want breakfast?” He asked.
“Maybe in a minute. Can I just hold onto you for a few minutes?”
“I would love nothing more.”
He sat on the couch, you sitting next to him, before he gave you a look. “What?” you laughed. He patted his leg.
“Let me hold you.”
“I'm too heavy for that Pedro, don't be ridiculous,” you shook your head.
“You're the one being ridiculous.” He reached over, pulling you into his lap. “I'm too heavy! You're going to hurt yourself,” you whined.
“You're not too heavy. You're the perfect size, baby. Come here,” he pulled you forward, your body sliding down his thighs as he wrapped his arms around you. You straddled his lap, knees on either side of his hips while he rubbed your back gently. You placed your arms around him, nuzzling into his neck and closing your eyes. You both sighed, and he grabbed a blanket next to him to pull over your bodies. “I could stay like this for hours, wrapped in your arms” you sighed comfortably. 
“Why don't you?” He turned his head to kiss your lips. You lifted your face up, taking your head off his shoulder to kiss him deeper. The kisses were lazy and comfortable, holding each other and enjoying the warmth of being in each other's arms.
Finally the two of you broke the kiss, settling back on his shoulder, him tilting his head to lean against yours. His hands sprawled over your back, pulling you forward a bit to adjust in his lap. You let out a soft whimper at the contact, fully aware of the location your bodies connected at the moment. “Feel how much you mean to me?” He asked, his breath ghosting your ear as he pulled your hips forward again. You whined. “Yes..” you answered breathlessly. The temptation to keep doing that was overwhelming. But he once again wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back as the two of you comfortably dozed off, finally relaxed after so much stress of the morning.
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Hours later, you stirred, feeling Pedro still underneath you. At the feel of you moving, he stretched a bit before settling with his arms around you again. “Morning, baby” he hummed. “Guess we fell asleep,” you smiled.
“Some of the best sleep I've had in a while, here with you.”
“Same here.” You blinked your eyes open, kissing him on the lips with a peck. “What time is it?”
He turned his head to look at the clock on your TV. “5 o’clock” he laughed. “Guess we both needed some rest.” 
“Mmmm, I guess so,” you hummed, settling into him more.
“Good thing I brought nonperishables. Are you hungry?”
You pondered. “Yeah, I am,” you looked into his deep brown eyes. “Breakfast for dinner?” You smiled at him.
“Sounds perfect.” He pecked your lips before you slid off his lap, the two of you standing to stretch. It wasn't long that you two stood apart before you leapt forward again to give him a hug. He laughed, hugging you back. “I'll never get tired of being in your arms,” you smiled into his chest, breathing in his scent.
“I'll never get tired of holding you in mine,” he pulled his face back to look at you.
“Now let's eat! I'm starved,” you scampered towards the kitchen, him giving a gentle pat to your butt before hugging you from behind as you grabbed the breakfast foods. You giggled, setting food on plates as he kissed your neck, still wrapped around you from behind. “I'm starving too,” he replied back to your earlier statement with a growl, biting your ear.
“Pedro!” You giggled, smacking his arm gently. He chuckled, pulling away and grabbing his plate as you both headed to the table.
The two of you ate, filling the space with light conversation, both of you occasionally sneaking Skipper some bites under the table. He could get used to having two humans spoiling him.
The chatter came to a natural pause, eating in silence and smiling at each other across the table. Pedro stopped eating, wiping his hands and continuing to stare at you. You laughed, asking him what was up. Suddenly, he looked nervous.
“I, uh…” he rubbed his neck. “I was going to wait until after we had at least a first date to say this, but…” he trailed off, and your mind spiraled. Is he breaking up with me? Is he not interested anymore? What's wrong?
“I was wondering if… you'd be my girlfriend? Exclusively?” His cheeks flushed.
You stammered, dropping your fork on the plate. “You… you want… me to be your girlfriend?” You smiled.
He nodded. “If… you'll have me.”
“You want to be my boyfriend?” He nodded again, looking down at the table.
“Yes. Yes, are you kidding? Please! I'd love nothing more.” You grinned, jumping out of your chair to move to him.
He stood, pulling you into a hug. “Really?” He smiled at you.
“Really,” you nodded. “Now kiss me,” you held his face.
“Gladly,” he pulled you closer, kissing you deeply, his tongue asking for entrance to your mouth. You squealed, surprised, but letting him in. You'd never experienced this sensation before. But it was… incredible.
He licked your lips, the two of you exploring the inside of each other's mouths, tongues dancing together. The kiss was heated and deeper than ever before, both of you finally pulling away for air, him coming back in to peck your lips a few times, sucking your lip between his own. You sighed shakily. “Wow.”
“I love kissing you,” he smiled against your lips.
“I love kissing you. You're a good kisser,” you smiled back.
“So are you,” he smirked. “My beautiful girlfriend.” He gave a kiss. “How about that date tomorrow?” He pulled away to look at you, letting his hand rub across your lower back, just above your butt.
“I'd love to,” you stroked his face. “My handsome boyfriend.” You wrapped your arms around him again, blissfully.
“Tomorrow,” you two sighed in unison.
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@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @leiadjarin @hmneighbors
Thank you for reading!!! Let me know what you think ❤️
Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)
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fatuifucker · 2 years
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third stream: desire for approval
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[art cr: kuroume_1024 on twt]
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bratty trans! streamer! scaramouche x dom fem-sex reader (they/them pronouns used for reader)
SUMMARY = how far would you go for attention?
WARNINGS = please view the sucker series masterlist for the full warnings! smut, penetration (reader giving), brat taming, asphyxiation, boobplay, use of the word “cunt”, use of pet name "angel" + "cumslut" + similar language, scara has nipple and navel piercings, womb tattoo, lingerie, self-sexualisation, codependence, unhealthy relationship, suicide ideation, self-harm, gender dysphoria, transphobia, attempted self-mutilation, implied domestic abuse
W/C = 2.6k
A/N = my word count is getting higher and higher be proud of me!! i was actually intending on writing a valentine's fic instead but uh ig you can take this as the late valentine's day fic instead lol. this may be my last x reader for a while for i would like to focus on more character x character. there are some zines im interested in participating and i want to have fics that i can use for my portfolio bc i don't think character x readers do good for zines lol oh yeah also little shoutout to the usernames featured in scara's stream!!
TAGS = @midnxght-sweet-time, @barbatosfavouritenun, @edenialucas, @huboi, @nejibot, @yumixxn, @teallapril
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P-chan should be cute, pretty, handsome. Appearance-wise, they are perfect. Their gender doesn't matter but I want someone with a body like mine. I don't like nuisances so they have to be calm and collected. They have to be rational so they can comfort me and stop me from making impulsive decisions.
I want them to be independent but not too independent. They'll need me to command them like a pet. Maybe like a bunny? They could be that innocent-looking type but is secretly horny for me hehe. I'll have to work out the details later. But it's fine even if they are unsure about their personality. People like that tend to rely on the self-assured more. Maybe I could even dress up in the clothes I can't wear.
They won't be able to live without me.
“Ohh…it’s soh gud,” Scara moans, her tongue trailing up the melting popsicle before sucking on it. “Mmm…I might get addicted...”
The stream chat floods with comments; majority of it being provocative remarks. Just the reaction she intended. Although Scara hates to be sexualised by her fans, she knows that suggestive content rakes up the viewer count the fastest.
Almost halfway to a month, yet she hasn’t even reached half a million yet. She doesn’t have much time so even if that means that she has to whore herself like this…
“Mmm it’s sticking all over my fingers…” Scara licks the vanilla cream off her fingers, exaggerating her noises as she continues sucking on the popsicle. “It’s a good thing I took off my gloves. Or else it would have been allll over me.”
cauldron-of-anon: you know what else is creamy and drips all over
eunchaeluvr: I LOVE ICE CREAM
bubiblossom: god Im so happy I was born
cinshaberu: big…
leefrfr: that looks good
yourmomsucksme: YESYESYESYESYES
vermillionbun: THANK YOU SCARA
Scara giggles as she licks a strip up the popsicle. Hm, but it’s about time she ended the stream. All this sugary sweet stuff is cloying…ugh. She finishes the popsicle sensually and cleans her hands with a wet wipe.
“Thank you for the meal, it was delicious. I have to meet up with a friend so I’ll respond to the superchats another time.” Scara blows a kiss, mouse hovering over the ‘end stream’ button. “So long suckers!”
You’ve reached another milestone today. It’s funny how the other day, both you and Kunihiko were worried about his stagnancy. Today, he has surpassed 50k subscribers. Since this genre of streams garners the most viewers, maybe it’s okay to ask him to do more sexy streams. Probably not too much though. You don’t want Scara to come out as just another female streamer selling her body for clout. Conspiracy theories seem to do well…that goes for her ‘Scara Tries Things’ series. You’ll have to make her work harder these upcoming days, especially since she’s been slacking off lately. You’ve been trying not to push Kuni too hard but—
You blink as your phone is snatched away from you. “You’re still doing work?”
“Yes, that’s my job as your producer.” You stare at Kuni.
Your boyfriend scowls, grabbing your forearm. “Right now I need you to do your job as my partner.”
You don’t make any effort to resist as Kuni drags you like a ragdoll, grunting when he tosses you onto the bed. You sit there, waiting for Kuni to finish changing and give you your orders for the night. In the meantime, you occupy yourself by looking around.
Kuni didn’t have any requests for a themed room so you chose a classy one. The room was laden with rich reds and blacks, a jacuzzi and a drawer stocked with condoms, lube, all the essentials. In truth, it looked like any expensive hotel room, except that the fee for this one was much cheaper that any 5 star hotel. The good thing about love hotels is that they are soundproof — meaning Kuni is going to make you fuck him all night so he can savour the experience of moaning as loud as he wants without alerting the neighbours. Speaking of which, he wanted you to wear something, didn’t he? It should be the one on the table…
Unveiling the contents of the paper bag reveals an angel-themed lingerie set. The bodysuit is made out of fine white satin, decorated with ribbons at the shoulder straps, tulle around the hips, and etched with cloud patterns. Matching the set of white ribbon garters are sheer cloud-covered unattached sleeves that look like it extends past your elbows, looping around the middle finger to partially cover the top of your hands and leaving the rest bare. Without batting an eye, you shed your clothes off and dress yourself in the gifted outfit.
“Are you done?” Kuni calls from the bathroom after a few minutes.
“Yes.”
You sit on the bed, watching as your boyfriend exit the bathroom. A devilish grin rests on his carmine-lined lips as he sashays in black stilettos. He’s dressed head to toe in black leather — from the bodysuit, to the arm sleeves and stockings — but the bodysuit specifically emits a sort of polychromatic glow, shifting to a shimmering purple under the fluorescent light. The whole outfit hugs his body tight, squeezing his body in certain areas that pulls attention to the exposed skin spilling out his thighs and his chest… Your gaze darts back to his eyes, heart thumping upon realising that he is right in front of you.
Kuni chuckles. “What? You embarrassed?” He takes your hand, placing it on his chest. “Don’t be. I wore this just for you, you know?” Entranced, your eyes follow the movements of his other hand, watching as he unzips the zip on his waist, pushing down the waistband to display the pink, heart-shaped tattoo on his pelvis; resembling those typical womb tattoos you see in hentai. “You’re my sweet, obedient angel. And you’re going to reward this naughty succubus for working so hard for the both of us.” Kuni shoves you down on the bed, letting you sit in your state of shock as he purrs into your ear. "Get your toys. They are on the bedside table."
Sure enough, there's your bullet vibrator and buttplug; the ones Kuni asked you to bring today. You turn the motor to its maximum speed, goosebumps all over your skin as it makes contact with your sex. Next goes the plug, which you make sure to lubricate before inserting it into your puckered hole. When you lift your head, Kuni’s stinging violet gaze is locked upon you, a smirk on his carmine lips as he plays with his covered clit. You immediately turn your attention down, removing his underwear with hurried fingers and latching onto the swollen bub.
Soft thighs wrap around your head as your tongue switches its focus on his leaky cunt. Juices drip all over your tongue as you dive into him, eating him like a gourmet buffet. The whir of the vibrator reverberates off the insulated walls, rousing the fire in your groin that stupefies you into shaking your ass, savouring the sensation of your hole squeezing around the plug. Your eyes flit back up to your lover, his lust-filled eyes fixed onto you. His cunt oozes with ambrosial nectar, and you lap it up like a starved creature, goaded by his saccharine moans. A squeal reveals the arrival of his high, manicured nails digging into the sheets before vitality deserts him, leaving him laying limp on the bed.
The strained, rapid breaths becomes the only source of sound in the room once the motor is turned off. What fills the space of silence is rustling, followed by a click and then followed by a wet noise of viscous liquid. Kuni spreads his legs as your body hovers over him, a tired look on his face. He senses your hesitation.
“Don’t give that look,” he sneers. “I already gave you permission to ruin me. Unless…” he juts his bottom lip out, eyebrows lowered in a display of mockery. “you’re backing away now because you realised you can’t do it. No matter how cool, calm and controlled you think you are, I’m the one who holds dominion over you. Without my orders, you’re hopeless. You don’t know what to do because I’m the one who holds the power. Without me, you’re— ah!!”
His back arches into a crescent as the strap spears him without warning. Without giving him time to adjust, you’re grinding your hips against his, slamming the cock in and out while he cries in pleasure.
“Yes, yes, yes! Use me! Break me! Fix me! Oh god, please, please, please—!”
The force of your thrusts jostles Kuni against the bed, incandescent light shifting the polychromatic purples of his collar that just beckon you to wrap your hand around the thin neck. The added pressure around his neck makes him mewl in delight, hands guiding your free hand up his hips, past his navel piercing, and landing on his chest.
“Touch my boobs…” he rasps.
“I don’t recall giving you permission to order me around,” you say with a bite in your voice, tugging on one of his nipple piercings to make him squeak. “Do I have to punish you for your insolence?” Nonetheless, you turn your attention to his chest, peppering it with kisses and hickeys, suckling on his nipples, all to make the little brat writhe under you. 
“(Name)...” he whines. “Punish me, ruin me, I don’t care! I don’t care about anything as long as you need me— aah…think of me and no one else! Want only me, love only me, love me, love me, love— haaah~!! I’m cumming, I’m—!”
His orgasm is signified by a shower of translucent strings streaming out of his soaked cunt, essence staining the floor and sheets in splatters. Kuni wheezes for air once you release the hold on his neck, arms wrapping around you as he basks in the momentary peace.
“Are you okay? Was I too rough?”
“I…I can do it again…” he says in between breaths, pushing himself up with his elbows. “Come on, I’m your…I’m your succubus, aren’t I? You…you have to punish me…”
You shrink back. “Kuni, I really think you need a break—”
A sudden weight thrown onto you interrupts your monologue. You blink, seeing your smirking boyfriend has switched positions with you; with you now underneath him while he’s on top of you.
“Oh I’m much stronger than you think. This body is curated for you…for all of your desires and wants. So, do your worse,” He cusps your cheek, lips covering over yours. “and dig in.”
Kuni kisses you with fervour, determined to infect you with his lust. An unwelcome sense of unease churns instead.
The sharp pain makes Kuni's body tingle with adrenaline, foggy eyes watching scarlet sanguine spill out the wound. His chest rises and falls as he pants, shaking fingers bringing the bloodied blade to slash an untouched portion on his wrist. He lets the high consume him, a penumbra that suppresses the emotional turmoil threatening to boil over the messed up pot that is him. Yet that high is all-consuming, and it begs for more. Cloudy indigos flit up to the mirror, a blurry figure reflecting back his ugly existence and that ugly chest that proves of his inferiority as a man.
"Cut your hair? But you’re the most beautiful with long hair."
"Where did you get those shorts? A pretty girl like you should wear dresses."
"Why does she dress like that?”
"Huh? But…you’re a girl."
Shut up, shut up.
”Kuniko, do you really think that anyone in this world will accept you as a boy?”
Shut up, shut up, shut up shut up shut up—
"Do you want to bleed out?"
Kuni ignores the way his raised hand trembles, grumbling as he glares at the person standing by the door. "Wasn't intending to. But if I die from blood loss, it wouldn’t be a bad thing either."
"I would be upset." You take a step forward, stopping when he inches the razor closer to his chest. "You know, if you wanted to get rid of them, we could always visit a professional. Surgery would be safer–"
“Do you think I give a shit about my safety?!” Kuni screams, beads of tears pouring like a waterfall. “I want to die! I don’t want to exist anymore, why don’t you get it?!”
“What makes you think that I don’t?”
“You…you…” Kuni swallows, his dry mouth making speech a burden.
“Maybe I don’t want to live either," You say. "but I still want you to survive.”
Kuni laughs dryly. “How selfish of you.”
“How ironic of you of all people to say that."
He doesn’t respond to that.
“I need you just as much as you need me. We can’t survive without each other.”
“I know.”
“I’m here because you want me to stop you. You want me to make you feel better.”
“...Yes.”
“How do you want me to do that?"
“...Hold me."
A trace of warmth swathes him; barely there but still enough. Kuni leans against the cold wall, quiet sobs echoing through the tiny room, caged in this claustrophobic space. The air is cold and suffocating, but he knows it will be okay because you’re here. It will be okay, because (Name) is here. (Name) is always with me. (Name) can never leave me. He closes his eyes, letting your gentle scent waft into his nose. He takes apart the scent: an amalgamation of lavender, sandalwood and sage, like the aromatherapy candles he lights. If he focuses, he can feel your warm, calming breaths brushing against his ear, reminding him that you’re there. You’ll always be there for him, and nothing will change that. It takes a while but slowly, his breaths even out, settling into a steady cadence.
You let go of him. His eyes are fixed on the floor.
“Are you okay?” You ask, caressing his dishevelled locks.
His gaze doesn’t leave the floor. “I can handle more than this.”
The sound of muffled shouting interrupts the quiet conversation. Kuni winces, looking at the direction of the disturbance. He recognises the voices but tunes out the repetitive string of words, palms cupping his ears while his back slides down the wall. The voices get louder and louder, accompanied by clashes of porcelain and the collide of wood against other household objects. He doesn’t register that he’s shaking until the familiar warmth surrounds him again.
“Let’s watch KAngel.”
[You received a text from Kuniku<3!]
Kuniku<3: (name)
Kuniku<3: ur asleep right?
Kuniku<3: couldnt sleep so i went out for a walk lol
Kuniku<3: i brought along the switchblade u bought me
Kuniku<3: in case a perv wants to catch a case hehe
[Kuniku<3 is typing…]
Kuniku<3: hey
Kuniku<3: you know i hate being alone right?
Kuniku<3: whenever you leave me for too long
Kuniku<3: im afraid that you realised you dont need me after all
Kuniku<3: i have to rely on you
Kuniku<3: but do you still need me?
Kuniku<3: or do i have to make you depend on me more?
[Kuniku<3 is typing…]
Kuniku<3: i want to disappear
Kuniku<3: i want to die
[Message Deleted]
Kuniku<3: hope my favourite cumslut got a good rest <3
Kuniku<3: i’ve been doing a good job right? sooo u will give me a break right?
Kuniku<3: i took the liberty of picking date ideas so what do u wanna do??
[Your answer]
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btsgotjams27 · 1 year
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this is us ~ jjk | 16
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six months later and you're still not over jungkook, and when you finally hit rock bottom, you realize you have to pick yourself up because no one else can do it for you.
✨ title: this is us | (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, bff's younger brother ✨ playlist | AO3 & Wattpad ✨ a/n: if you haven’t read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) ✨ a/n 2: hello, hello! can you believe we're almost done with this series? it's been a crazy journey for these two, hasn't it? lol. well, i'll just say the angst is strong in this chapter but! this is the last angsty chapter, which i'm kind of happy for myself, my readers, and the characters lmaooooo. i hope y'all enjoy it and now it's only going up from this point out!
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[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] | next ✨ 17 ~ one year later
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chapter 16 ~ so maybe you're not okay | wc: 5.4k warnings: time skip (6 months later), angst, reader is reflecting on her past actions, language, alcohol consumption, *some* tough love, self-deprecation, depressing thoughts, mentions of throwing up smut warnings: kissing, touching, groping, breast play
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~ six months since the breakup ~
Six months have passed since you and Jungkook split up. Sometimes, your heart ached continually, and you wondered when it would stop or ever cease. You almost gave in and called to check how he was doing or what he was up to, but you didn't. It was foolish to believe he'd want to talk to you since he, too, was hurt. You had shattered his heart for the second time, and you shouldn't be surprised if he never wanted to hear from you again.
Your heart skipped a beat anytime his name was uttered, whether it was Jin or Yuna. A part of you wanted to know if he was doing well or if he was as unhappy as you, but you were hoping for the latter. He deserved happiness, and you wanted him to find it even if you weren’t a part of it.
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As much as you wanted to run away from responsibilities, you couldn’t. Your show was the only thing that kept you going—for now, at least. Critics and audiences alike praised the first half of the season, but as the season proceeded, numbers began to fall, making you doubt your talent and career. Could your writing be suffering as a result of your breakup? It did take up a lot of your mental space these days.
You wanted to hide under a rock and never come out again, it was virtually impossible because your phone rang nonstop day and night, attempting to put out fires—executives, producers, and writers breathing down your neck, never letting you take a breath. You just wanted everything to halt, and you just wanted no one to need you. But you were reminded of that whenever you stepped into your apartment. You didn’t know which was worse anymore.
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The show's last day couldn’t have come any faster, and Kenji wanted to go big and celebrate the filming wrapping. You arrived at the beautiful modern building, which hardly looked like a restaurant.
“Hello, darling.”
You turned to your ex-boyfriend, his arm snaking around your waist. He could never help himself, but you smacked his arm away. “Kenji,” you said with a scowl.
“I’m sorry, love—habit.” You rolled your eyes. “Come on, let’s celebrate,” he said, holding his arm for you to take, though you didn’t amuse him by doing so. You were tired of his antics.
Because it was a party and you were practically the face of the project, you had to put on your best smile and pretend everything was fine—better than okay, perfect because you had gotten what you wanted out of your career, you had worked your ass off to get where you are. Still, none of this mattered if you didn't have the most important person by your side, but you didn’t dare utter his name.
If there was one thing you hated about being in this industry, it was the mingling aspect. Of course, you cared for your crew but showed it differently than how Kenji wanted to. You preferred intimate gatherings, taking a few groups to talk and catch up.
Though, at this point, you didn’t want to be around anyone anymore and just wanted to eliminate the noise clouding up your mind and space.
“Hey, babe. Are you doing okay?” Hyunie asked, pulling you in for a hug.
You loved your friend, but you swear to God if she asked you one more time if you were okay, you’d explode. “I’m fine,” you snapped, closing your eyes.
Having Hyunie by your side throughout this project was a godsend, and you couldn’t have done it without her. As Yuna was busy with baby Indie, Hyunie became your right-hand gal, almost waiting on you hand and foot.
She cleared her throat. “I just wanted to make sure,” she muttered, ready to walk away.
“Wait, Hyunie—” You turned, grasping her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“It’s okay. I know you’re stressed. I’ll leave you alone.”
God—were you always this bitchy and cranky? Or had you unlocked a new part of yourself that you’d only discovered after breaking up with Jungkook? Either way, you’d lose your friend if you didn’t stop.
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You had stopped counting how many glasses of wine you had accepted from the server as he passed by with his tray, but it had to have been more than enough for you to want to kiss the next person you saw.
Aimlessly, you stared at your wine glass. Are you the only one like this? What the fuck are you doing with your life? Pretending to be okay when you weren’t. Shit—you were so fucking pathetic.
Every day, the same thing, over and over again. Mindlessly, alone. You were gradually losing yourself in your innermost thoughts.
Tomorrow may be better. Maybe it’ll be alright. But who were you kidding? They were nothing but lies. You were too far gone, too broken. And it didn’t look like it could ever be reversed.
“So, you’re the big boss, hmm?”
You looked up to see a handsome man donned in an all-black outfit, his honey-skin chest practically on display, the deep V of his silk shirt leading your eyes down to his lower half. “That’s me,” you muttered, swirling the last of what was left in your wine glass.
“Can I get you a refill?”
“Yes, please.”
The man flashed a beautiful smile before going behind the counter, reaching underneath to pull up a bottle of wine.
“Are you supposed to be back there?” you asked, raising a brow because he wasn’t a crew member from your show. Actually, you had never seen him before.
He chuckled. “I’m Jung Hoseok, co-owner of Onjium.” You held your glass out for him to refill.
“It’s a beautiful restaurant, and the food is immaculate.”
“Ah, why, thank you,” he remarked. “Should I return the favor and praise your show?”
You tried to suppress your smirk by sipping the red wine. “I’d rather you praise me instead."
Hoseok's tongue darts to wet his lips, biting the bottom. "I can do that."
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It had been too long since you had kissed anyone, alone let anyone even touch you. But Hoseok’s kisses from the column of your neck trailing towards your collarbone made you realize how horny you were—and your vibrator wasn’t cutting it anymore. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t sought out a fuck buddy in the first place. It would’ve easily taken your mind off everything and relieved some stress.
His hardened length brushed against your clothed heat, his soft lips continuing to mark your body, his hand on the small of your back, eliminating the distance between you. “Fuck—you’re so sexy,” he kissed your lips. “Why isn’t every man dropping to their knees for you?”
You throw your head back, a chuckle leaving your lips. “Do you always flatter every woman who walks through your restaurant’s doors?” you ask, tugging at his belt, unfastening it with his pants.
He grins and shakes his head. “I never do things like this,” he lies through his teeth.
“Uh-huh, sure,” you quip back. “So you’ve never fucked anyone on this couch before?” You found it hard to believe—a good-looking man like him, not fucking every beautiful that walked into his restaurant?
“Nope, never,” he laughs, coming in for another kiss, his hard length pressing into your lower abdomen, making you ache and crave what’s hidden beneath those briefs. “Can I?” he asks, toying with the thin straps of your dress.
“Please do. I’m at your service to be praised and adored.” You were hardly ever this bold or confident. Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your veins, coinciding with how shitty you’ve been feeling these past several months.
Hoseok’s slender fingers drew imaginary circles into your skin. He studied your face—eyes closed, mouth agape, and head lolled back. Savoring every moment as you bite your bottom lip, just waiting for him to continue as he pleased. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
Honestly, at this moment? Anything—anything to relieve the ache that was building inside your body.
He hums, waiting for your answer.
You opened your eyes and straightened your posture. He still hadn’t removed your straps, so you did it for him, agonizingly slow, of course—just as he teased you, you did the same to him. But your stupid bra stood in the way until you unfastened the hooks, freeing your breasts one at a time. His attention is now diverted from your eyes to your chest, taking in the perfect view.
Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you leaned in, whispering, “I want you to fuck me so hard that you have to take me home and then fuck me all over again.”
He shifted in his seat, adjusting himself, then gripped the soft flesh of your ass through your black slip dress. His hands roamed the sides of your body. His eyes fixated on your breasts before palming them in his hands. “Fuck–yes. You don’t have to tell me twice.”
His hand reached the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss. You spread your legs wider, rolling your hips against his erection. Faint whimpers leave your lips when his fingers pinch your stiff peaks.
“Fuck–Kook. I need you inside me.”
“Name’s Hoseok,” he says between kisses.
“Don’t–don’t talk.”
“Anything you want, princess.”
You pulled away with a deadpan expression, breathing a loud sigh.
“You just ruined it.” Of course, he couldn’t have known that you hated that pet name, but that pet name also brought you back to reality.
You drew the strings of your dress back over your shoulders, proceeding to grab the rest of your things. “I’m sorry, Hoseok. I shouldn’t have done this,” you say, looking around for your bra.
“Was it something I said?”
Technically, yes, but also, you were stupid for trying to sleep with a man you had just met. This wasn’t you. You didn’t go around fucking random strangers–you much preferred being in a loving relationship, not one-night stands with men you’d never see again.
“No–it’s me. I’m sorry.”
Quickly, you left the crime scene, slipping into a taxi, still holding your bra because you couldn't put it back on without someone stopping to talk to you. With eyes closed and a loud sigh, your head lolled back on the car’s headrest. The angel on your shoulder was berating you for making bad decisions. The devil told you to return to the man who wanted to sleep with you and show you a good time. Right now, you didn’t want to listen to either of them.
You open your eyes and straighten your posture, catching a glimpse of yourself in the rearview. The person staring back was unrecognizable—having sunk to the lowest of the lows, unsure if you could pick yourself back up. At this point, you wondered how your friends could even put up with you. You didn’t even want to be around yourself—a pitiful mess you were.
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Sundays were brunch days at Yuna and Namjoon’s. It was a tradition the group had organized since the new parents had their hands full.
But you lay in bed, thinking of the many excuses you could give to your best friend to get out of this brunch you had started to loathe. It reminded you of your mother’s family reunion dinners.
You 9:27 AM *cough*cough* I’m not feeling well. I think I drank too much.
Yuna 9:29 AM 😒 Get your ass over here. I don’t care if you’re on your deathbed.
Tae 9:30 AM Dang—mama don’t play. You tell her, Noona!
Hyunie 9:30 AM Seriously, taetae? Why??? Why are you like this? 😑
Joon 9:31 AM I’m making my infamous avocado toast.
Jin 9:32 AM Namjoon cooking? *cough*cough* I’m sick too.
Yuna 9:33 AM Oh! Don’t make me slap all of you through this phone. Everyone be here at 10:30! OR ELSE.
You 9:33 AM Fine…
Jin 9:34 AM Okay—MOM.
Tae 9:34 AM Or else, what? You’ll spank me?
Hyunie 9:35 AM Someone come strangle my husband before I do!!
Even if you were on your deathbed, huh? Apparently, you still had to attend this infamous Sunday brunch.
A notification bell came through your phone, illuminating your screen.
Jin 9:37 AM I can come pick you up.
You 9:38 AM Why? You don’t trust that I’ll go there?
Jin 9:38 AM Nope 🙃 See you soon friend.
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The car ride to Yuna’s consisted of nothing but radio silence. Jin looked over, watching you mindlessly observe pedestrians, deep in thought about who knows what. He wanted to interrupt many times but didn’t want to appear insensitive.
“You look like shit,” Taehyung remarked, sitting at the table.
“Thanks, Taehyung. I really appreciate your honesty,” you faked a smile before letting it falter. “FYI—this is what I look like, hungover.”
“You seem to be drinking a lot these days,” Yuna couldn’t help but comment.
“There’s nothing wrong with drinking,” Namjoon responded as he was focused on smashing the avocados in the bowl. He looked up to see his wife glaring at him. “What?” He cleared his throat. “I mean, as long as it’s done in moderation. We don’t want anything bad to happen to our bodies.” He looked over at Yuna again, who was pleased with his answer.
“Maybe just slow down on the mimosas today, babe,” Hyunie interjected when you picked up the tall, slim glass and sipped. Whoever made it went a bit overboard on the champagne. It wouldn’t be your fault, it was whoever made this.
“I’m fine,” you noted. “I’m a big girl, and I can care for myself.”
With her tongue in cheek, Yuna tuts as she spreads the butter on the piece of bread, preparing the pan for the avocado toast.
You wanted to let that slide because she had been like this for the past few months, making snide, snarky comments or saying things under her breath. Maybe motherhood was taking a toll. Maybe she hadn’t had enough sleep. Maybe she, too, was pissed off at the world.
“Do you have something you want to say to me?” You set your glass down, folding your arms across your chest. Maybe you were feeling confident after the sip of orange juice and champagne.
Everyone quieted down, pretending not to let this conversation become awkward, trying to do other things to distract themselves.
Yuna placed the bread into the warm pan, letting it sizzle, but she didn’t answer you. She had wanted to talk to you privately for a while now, but everything was bubbling up to the surface, and she couldn’t hold it in any longer.
Namjoon clenched his jaw and lightly elbowed her, giving her the staredown of the century, mouthing, “Not now.”
“Why not? Hmm?” she answers aloud to her husband. “She needs to hear what I have to say.”
He looks at everyone whose eyes are now on the couple in the kitchen. “There’s a time and place if you want to talk, but not in front of everyone,” he said in a hushed tone, quickly glancing at you, then back to his smashed avocados.
“Yuna, if you have something to say, just fucking say it.” You were tired of all these side eyes and unspoken words.
She sighs and then turns off the stovetop, removing the pan from the heat. “It’s been six months, Y/n. Six months since Jungkook left.”
“Yeah, you don’t think I fucking know that? I have to live with that knowledge every day. Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone and let me drink in peace?” Picking up the glass, you took another sip; the bubbly drink fizzled down your throat. “I’m fine,” you lied. “Sometimes I just want to wallow in all the shit I’m feeling, okay? And be fucking depressed, sad, and hurt. Am I not allowed to do that?”
Hyunie steps closer, grasping your arm. “Of course, you can, but we’re just worried about you and want you to talk to us.”
“What do you want me to say?” You look around the room, trying your best to hold it together. Your tongue darted to lick your lips, teeth nibbling your bottom lip, but the yearning in your heart welled to the surface, just waiting to erupt. “You want me to say that I fucked up? Instead of pushing Jungkook away, I should’ve tried to work through it. That I should've gone to LA to get him back? Well, it's too fucking late. I can't do shit now. He's probably moved on with his life and is doing ten times better than I am."
You let go of Hyunie and sat in the dining chair. "God–I'm so pathetic." You wiped the tears streaming down your face. "I feel so numb, so broken," you said with a shaky voice. "I just want to wake up from this stupid nightmare, but I can't because this is my fucking reality. I know I have no one to blame but myself for this mess."
Everyone looked at you with pity and remorse. Practically watching you fall apart. You didn't want this to happen but knew it eventually would.
Yuna sympathized with her best friend, and she did. But she also had her baby brother to worry about as well. She knew how he was doing–which was much better than you right now, and you were right. He had moved on and was in a better spot, mentally and emotionally.
She walked over to you, placing her hand on yours, gently rubbing the top of your hand. Yuna softly sighed, “I love you, I do. But sometimes I just wanna give you a good smack.”
“Jagi!” Namjoon quips, setting down his fork.
“In a loving way, of course,” she pauses, “I'm sorry things turned out the way they did with you and Jungkook. It hurts me to see you like this–living life so aimlessly. If you want him, go get him. If you don't, then move on.”
“It's not that simple,” you said, turning to her.
“I know—but you have to try. Take it one day at a time. Do something fun. Try something you’ve never done before. Get your mind off everything,” Yuna suggests.
She was right. Since your show had wrapped up and nothing else lined up, you could do as you, please. Maybe you could find a new hobby or travel—it’s been a minute since you had a proper vacation. Honestly, traveling to a secluded place seemed like a dream. But would it be a ruse to run away from your problems, or would it help you move on? Could it be a bit of both?
“I’m sorry, guys. I am.” You look up to your friends who have been supportive these past few months while you were at rock bottom.
Jin, Namjoon, and Taehyung grunted or hummed, acknowledging your apology before distracting themselves with something else.
Hyunie comes in for an embrace. “You’re gonna be okay. I know it.” She pulls away, the corners of her lips curving into a reassuring smile.
“I don’t deserve you guys.”
“You don’t,” Jin jokes, in which Namjoon glares at him. “What?” He stuffs a blueberry in his mouth. “Just saying.”
You were conscious of your choices and actions and aware of the consequences; nevertheless, accepting and coming to terms with them was another matter.
Regardless, if you wanted to get out of this deep, dark hole you’ve dug, no one could help you unless you helped yourself.
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With nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no one to see—your life felt like it had no meaning, no purpose.
Do something fun.
Yuna’s voice echoed from the day before. Fun? You didn’t even know what you considered fun anymore. What did you even like besides writing and working? No new films were interesting, at least not enough to make you want to pay to sit in front of the big screen. And you just knew you’d be scrolling through Netflix for hours trying to find something to watch before ultimately giving up. There was no point, you thought.
And since none of those things were riveting, you again found yourself at the bar. At least, it was the first time you’d gone this week. Well—to be honest, the week had just begun.
“Another Moscow mule, please,” you inquired, waving down the bartender. It was only your third one of the night, but given that your speech was becoming unintelligible—you’d be cut off soon.
The bartender nodded, acknowledged your request, and began working on your drink.
You held onto the black straw, mindlessly stirring the ice in the copper mug. Your eyes laser-focused on the bottle sitting behind the bar back—Highland Park, single malt whiskey. You preferred cocktails over straight liquor. You didn’t think you could handle all the alcohol content; hell, you could hardly hold the ones in cocktails.
Next to the shelf of liquor stood a mirror, but you couldn’t recognize the person in the reflection. Who was she? Six months had passed since the breakup, and the person in the mirror looked grim and unhappy. You couldn’t remember the last time you genuinely smiled or even laughed, and you had forgotten what true joy felt like.
This past year drained you emotionally and physically. You weren’t sure you had even gotten through all of it, and storing these traumatic, unpleasant memories in your amygdala only to resurface when you drank, forced you to deal with your emotions and feelings—things you didn’t want to touch. They were too painful and tortuous. It was easier to leave them be, brush them off, pretend that life could go on—but you had to face these memories and feelings sooner rather than later, or you’d never be able to pull yourself out of the hole you had dug.
The soft murmur of your name broke your focus on yourself in the mirror. You turned to see Min Yoongi beside you in a black button-down with a turtleneck underneath.
“Why do you look like you just sat down to be interviewed for a documentary?” You ask without regard to how he is doing or what he was doing at the bar.
Yoongi laughed at your abruptness. “I just came from a meeting with a colleague and came here for drinks, but he had to head out; then I saw you sitting here, so here I am.”
“Mmhm, here you are.” Your eyes lit up when the bartender handed you your drink.
“Can I get a single malt whiskey? Neat.”
You chuckled because you were looking at the bottle the bartender picked up.
“You okay?” Yoongi asked, sitting beside you, his knee slightly brushing against yours before swiveling away in his stool.
It would be easy to say, ‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ and go on the rest of the night indulging in small talk, but did you want to open a can of worms?
You gave your attention to the new Moscow mule sitting before you, stabbing the lime with the black straw and pushing it down to the bottom. You turn to him, “I feel like I’m gonna break down and cry at a moment’s notice.”
For some reason, it felt easier to bare your soul to someone who knew nothing about your life because all your friends quickly judged you and your decisions. But not with Yoongi. He knew the bare minimum about you.
“It’s okay to cry. Just don’t cry alone,” he simply said before thanking the bartender and sipping his whiskey.
Honestly, you hadn’t cried in the past few months. You felt more numb than anything, but the accumulation of your relationship with your mom, infertility, and Jungkook was enough to make you want to break down and give up on everything in life. The weight of it all was coming to a peak, ready to erupt.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You just did,” he teased, to which you rolled your eyes. He took another sip, waving for you to continue.
“Do you ever ask yourself what the fuck you’re doing with your life?”
“All the time,” he chuckled. “It’s normal to ask that question. Think about it—we’re living, breathing humans that live on a rock floating through time and space.”
“Yes! Oh my god! I think about that all the time. Why do all of my problems seem so big in my little world? But compared to how big the world is, it seems silly, minuscule, and unimportant. I mean, the person walking down the street probably has bigger problems than me.”
“Mm, that could be true, but don’t minimize your hurt and feelings. It’s important to recognize and learn from those things and let them shape a better you.”
“Why get a shrink when all you need is ‘Min Yoongi’ in your life?” You finally take a sip of your drink, the ice already melting in place, the condensation pooling a rim on the napkin.
He chuckled at your joke. “I’m hardly a therapist. I’ve just—I’ve been where you are, and I’m sorry it sucks, but give it time. You’ll be okay.”
“But, like, how do you know that?”
“Well, I don’t,” he took a swig of his whiskey. “I mean, there aren’t many things in our control, but for the things that are, it’s important to do what we can. We can only manage what’s right in front of us. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow, next week, or three months from now. Just worry about what’s happening right here, right now. That’s all you can do, you know?”
You recognized the truth behind Yoongi’s words and wanted to believe it. You did. But it was always easier said than done. Maybe you just needed more time, time to find yourself again. Maybe find joy in the little things, in yourself, and become comfortable in your skin without the dissonance of your friends. This time in your life would be as good as any since you had nothing lined up for you, work-wise. There was no one to keep you here in Seoul. You could go anywhere if you wanted to. Would now be the right time to uproot your life and go wherever your heart desired?
Yoongi could see you pondering his words, maybe letting the reality of it all soak in. He chugged the last of his whiskey, setting the glass down. “Come on, let me take you home.”
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You lifted your finger, ready to key in your apartment's code, before returning to Yoongi. “Do you wanna come in?”
He hesitated before answering, “I shouldn’t.”
“You’re not going to tuck me in; make sure I don’t drown in my vomit?” Yoongi snickers. “Sorry, I’m not in my right mind right now. You don’t have to come in.”
“You’re not gonna make this easy, are you?”
“I just gave you an out. You can leave if you want, but if you don’t hear from me tomorrow, will you be ready to live with that guilt if something happened to me?” You could’ve easily eliminated the last line but couldn’t help yourself. Let’s blame it on the alcohol for the sudden confidence.
Yoongi’s tongue darted out, licking his lips, the corners of his mouth curving into a smile. He nodded toward your door. “Come on. Let’s get you tucked in.”
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“I just want to lay on a nice, warm beach. Or I guess I’ll try to dream of it tonight.”
Yoongi followed you into the bedroom and lunged forward to keep you standing straight before you plopped onto the bed. “I have a vacation home in Phuket if you ever need to get away from here.”
“You do?” Your eyes widen in delight, almost wanting to take up his offer.
“Yeah, Tae and Hyunie went there recently, and I’m only ever there occasionally. Feel free to use it if you’d like.”
“Is this the part where you plan to murder me, and no one will ever find my body?” you joke, referring to when he said he’d take you home the first night you met, even though you hardly knew him then.
“I think you’ve been watching one too many Law and Order episodes, huh?”
You shrug. “You can never be too careful, you know!”
Yoongi laughs. “If I wanted to murder you, I’d have done it already.”
“I don’t know. Maybe you’re waiting for the perfect moment. Like when I’m all vulnerable in my bed.” He shows off his gummy smile, a feature you’ve come to appreciate. “You should smile more often. You have a really pretty smile.”
He shook his head, letting out a soft chuckle as he turned away from you. Through the short time, he’s known you, you were never this honest with him.
You sigh. "Can I skip to the part where everything will be okay again?"
Yoongi kneeled by your bedside and flashed a closed-lipped smile before scanning over your features. Apparently, you were just full of questions tonight, but he didn’t mind. "Where you are now is not where you'll always be."
He seemed so positive and empathetic toward your situation, which you were grateful for. It's possible he was just being kind, but he had plenty more to say. He was almost like your personal fortune cookie, always ready with an answer.
"That's easy for you to say." You snuggled deeper into your fluffy pillow, pulling the duvet under your chin.
"Mm–yeah, it is," he chuckled. "Well, there's a high chance that the future you want never happens, and if you put too much meaning into it, it'll torment you."
“Gee, thanks,” you said dryly. 
“You know what I mean.”
You stick out your tongue in protest, pulling the duvet over your head. “Just say I’m being pathetic. I can handle it,” you lie, muffled through the sheets. You were one step away from losing your shit.
Yoongi cleared his throat, lifting the duvet so he could say goodbye. He could see the sadness in your eyes when you looked back at him, and he only knew what you were going through because Kim Taehyung had a big mouth and shared whatever details he knew about you and your ex-boyfriend. But he never wanted to press you further unless you wanted to share.
“Well, I’m gonna head out. It looks like you’re tucked in safely and not dying, so...”
He proceeded to stand, but you sat up, grabbing his hand, your hand lingering longer than usual. Your eyes focused on his plush lips, then you moved in, closing your eyes for a kiss, but he pulled away.
“I’m sorry.” He stood, taking another step toward the door. “You’re cool, but I don’t kiss people when they’re not sober.”
Your cheeks become warm, your gaze avoiding his. “I’m sorry. As you can probably tell, I’m not in the right mind frame, and I’m very susceptible to handsome men when they’re sweet.”
Yoongi flashed a thin smile. “It’s okay. I’ll pretend nothing happened,” he remarked, waving his hand again before leaving you alone in your bedroom.
When you heard the front door closed, you grabbed your pillow and screamed into it. Why was kissing someone always your answer when feeling shitty about yourself? At this point, Yoongi probably found you as foolish as one could be. He probably wondered how and why Hyunie and Taehyung continued to be friends with someone like you.
You set the pillow aside, sliding under your covers, thinking about the question you asked Yoongi earlier at the bar.
What the fuck are you doing with your life?
So much of your adulthood was spent trying to survive your childhood and the trauma that came with it, and as you became an adult, you hoped the person you had become would be the person you needed when you were a child. But in reality, you felt like an imposter. The adult version of you was trying her best to be what that little girl needed, though ultimately, you failed her.
You knew deep down inside that you needed to stop whatever this path of destruction was, stop blaming others, not wait to be rescued, and most of all, stop refusing to participate fully in life. You had friends who became like family to you, who loved you no matter what you did. Was that not enough?
Inevitably, you were aware that no one could save you but yourself. You’d spent your life stuck in this endless cycle that no one had created but yourself.
You stopped before you started. You gave up before you even attempted. You talked yourself out of it before you got into it.
In retrospect, you knew you were also at fault regarding Jungkook. You sabotaged your relationship because you couldn’t bear the pain. But what if you had tried and given everything, and it worked out?
But as Yoongi said, it’s better not to dwell on a future that may not happen. Otherwise, you’d continue this endless cycle of torment.
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✨ a/n 3: so, how are we doing? how are we feeling? do we have any theories on what'll happen next? what do we think about yoongi? let me know (:
also! i still plan on doing the podcast episode, so start thinking of questions, comments, rambles/rants (:
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✨ next ~ 17 ~ one year later
117 notes · View notes
stolitzsings · 1 day
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💖, 🖋 and 👨‍👩‍👧 for the ask game! (I probably got at least one of the emojis wrong but hopefully they still make sense 😂) - @blitzwhore
💖 What do you like most about your own writing?
Can't believe you're gonna make me think of something nice to say about myself 🤣 I've been told I have a very "lyrical" style of writing, and sometimes I'll write a sentence or paragraph that flows really well and just Hits. I love those moments when I feel like I've really nailed it at a word-for-word level.
👨‍👩‍👦 Do you tell people in real life that you write fic?
Most people in my life know I do writing of some sort, but I'm pretty vague with the details lol. I only talk about writing fic with irl friends who also write/read fic (and I don't tell most of them that I write smut, just bc I know it isn't their jam). I told my therapist I write "character studies," because what is smut if not horny character analysis? 🤣
🖋 Post a snippet from a current WIP
Putting this one under the cut!
Ok I was a little nervous about sharing this because it's from a longer AU I've been toying around with, and historically I'm very bad at sticking to longer projects. But regardless of what I do with it I had a lot of fun writing this scene of M&M tormenting Blitz lmao
Blitz could feel his face heating up. “He isn’t— It’s not like—” Fuck, he was losing this one fast. “Okay, so maybe we’re boning or whatever, but it’s just a casual thing, you know? It’s not like we’re dating or anything.” Moxxie raised an eyebrow. It was almost impressive how smug he looked. “Who said anything about dating?” “I think he just did, babe.” Okay, now they were getting on his nerves. He could feel his spines starting to bristle.  “Look. It’s just a convenience thing, ‘kay? He gets to have his bad boy fantasy, and I get a reliable fuck who I know won’t steal my kidneys while I’m asleep.” It wasn’t like Stolas would ever really consider a relationship with someone like him. Disowned or not, he was still a royal. And that was fine! Blitz didn’t want anything complicated, anyway. Fucking was easy. It was comfortable. It was all either of them was looking for.  “If you say so, sir.” Moxxie had somehow dialed the smugness up to eleven.  Blitz rolled his eyes and walked towards the door. “I’m firing both of you. And I’m keeping your shares for today.” He was pretty sure Moxxie started to say something in response, but he was out the door before he heard it.  He let himself stew as he made his way down to the parking lot. “Looking for excuses,” for fuck's sake. They were hired killers! What did they expect? He was going to get injured sometimes. And it only made sense to go see Stolas, who knew more about this shit than any of them did. Besides, a quick fuck sesh was good for you, or something. Boosted your sero-whatever levels. Got your blood pumping. It was basically healthcare, anyway. Talk about a bedside manner, he thought to himself, grinning. He made a mental note to use that one with Stolas later. He'd think it was funny.
“C’mere, B, let me take a look at that scratch for you.” Millie had opened up their first-aid kit and had just finished bandaging a shallow cut on her thigh. Blitz looked down at the wounded arm that she’d gestured to. It wasn’t serious— an annoyance, more than anything. He shrugged. “Eh, that’s okay. I’ll just have my guy take a look at it.” Millie eyed him skeptically, like she was trying to catch him in a lie. “You know, you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with this mysterious “guy” of yours lately.” Moxxie looked up from his paperwork with a conspiratorial smile. “You’ve been seeing him for everything, even minor injuries. Almost like you’re looking for excuses to pay him a visit.” Oh great, the famous M&M tag team. “What? No, I haven’t.” Even he knew he sounded defensive. “Sure looks that way to me.” Millie crossed her arms and perched on the edge of the desk so that she and Moxxie could give him the double stare-down. Cute. “Are you sure that medical attention’s all he’s been giving you?”
Thank you for the ask @blitzwhore! I'm still answering these prompts if y'all are curious 😊
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ghostiiess · 2 years
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[NSB IMAGINES] - i can't drive because you drive me crazy
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pov: seb and you goes for a roadtrip.. what could happen between you two?
warning: sexy talk, a little bit of making out, kisses and intimacy, other than that, it's completely okay!
type: spicy ;) not smut though, but let's say that it's not really wholesome in the end lol (kisses)
member: sebastian moy
words count: around 25 806 characters :)
my requests are open :) if you ever want some imagines / headcanons, please write them here! i love writing and they're mostly ready by the followings days if i'm not too busy!
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10:45 am. You were waiting in front of your house, checking if you had everything you needed: lip balm, sunglasses, scrunchie if needed, condom too - you always had some in your bag just in case -, snacks in case you and Seb were hungry during the drive, your cell phone as well as your charger and your airpods. You have felt the wind in your h/c hair and smiled. Today was going to be a good day.
10:47 a.m. His car finally pulled into the parking lot of the house where you lived with your parents. He rolled down the window and gave you a flirty smile as he looked you up and down.
-Nice fit, Y/N!
You couldn't help but smile.
-Thank you!
You opened the door of your boyfriend's sexy black car and grinned at him as you gave him a quick kiss on the lips.
-Good morning, you said
-Good morning beautiful, he repeated after you. Ready for the best roadtrip of your life?
You nodded.
-You have everything?
-Yup!
-Alright.
Instead of starting the car, he started to look you up and down. He rolled up his window and smiled wider.
-What? Do I have something on my face?
He nodded and sighed, keeping his smile that you liked so much.
-I just think I'm lucky to have you, right now, in my car seat and drive you to a secret place while listening to our favorite music.
You rolled your eyes, but smiled at what he said. Always charming, always flirty and so attractive, it was the same boy you had known since you were twelve years old in elementary school.
-Seb, you are so romantic.
He laughed.
-Only with you.
You gave him a quick kiss, which he continued by putting his hand in your hair perfectly done. You left the gap between your two disappointed mouths that wanted more of this, that didn't want to create a distance between them. You tried to stop smiling, but in vain. This guy made you smile every time you saw him, no matter what he was doing, you could say he was making every situation cute, adorable or funny on purpose.
He gave you a little sad smile.
-We're going on a roadtrip, not to heaven, Sebastian.
He smiled.
-If you want, I can drive you there..
You gently pushed his face with your hand and saw him laughing.
-Haha, maybe later, but for now, drive. I'm excited to see where you take me this week!
Indeed, you and Sebastian had decided to go on a weekly date. Each week, you alternated between rides and walking to get around. When it was your week, you would decide where to go for the date and you would pick up your boyfriend: just like he did with you when it was his week. You didn't see each other very often due to school and his busy schedule, but every week you both waited for Saturday to go on a date. Sometimes it would be in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes in the evening. Sometimes, even during the night. It was always exciting.
-I won't tell you! he laughed.
-Come on! You've been taunting me for a week about this place. Can you give me a hint?
He pretended to think, then let you know his enthusiasm with his mouth creating a smile to his ears.
-I'll give you a hint, only if you give me a kiss.
You rolled your eyes and walked over to him. You kissed his perfectly rosy, perfectly imperfect mouth and watched him ask for more. He put his right hand on your cheek and smiled through the kiss. The young adult smiled and made the distance between your two mouths greater and greater as he rested in his seat.
-This is a place you spoke of, when we were teenagers. One of the first, I'd say. I think we were like 12 or 13 or around this age.
You rolled your eyes. The things you talked about as a teenager with him were already a few years old. They seemed so far away in your head. You tried to find the sacred place, the one you had surely spoken about the most in that teenager year, but failed. You had talked so much about places you wanted to visit over the years, that it was impossible for you to remember that detail you had told him when you were younger.
-Another clue? you asked
-No, you'll see. You already know a little too much, who knows? It's good if you forgot it, it will be a real surprise.
You straightened up and looked at the backyard of your house. He gave you a little smile as he tapped your shoulder to get you to look at him, then held his index finger up in the air as he started his car to signal me to listen.
-Sexy noise! he growled
You smiled at his adorableness.
He was so adorable.
He is so adorable.
He started driving, then looked at you sideways without moving his head.
-I see you looking at me.
He tried not to smile.
-What are you talking about? I'm not doing anything! I'm trying to drive safely to avoid running over your parents' cars!
You rolled your eyes, trying to hide your smile with your face in your hand, which was resting on the window sill.
-Anyways… It's not my fault you're so pretty. It's hard to take my eyes off you.
You turned your head and smiled wide.
-Aargh! Stop! he said while giving you his smile. Sweetheart!
You let out a little laugh and reached for your phone as you saw your favorite photos as your lock screen: a picture of you in your boyfriend's arms kissing his cheek, and him smiling broadly.
You punched in your code and searched your apps for the Spotify music app. You connected your phone to the Bluetooth and heard a small murmur from the driver, dressed in a blue and yellow cardigan with a white tshirt underneath that went into his black pants and his black belts.
His left hand on the steering black wheel making you see his agility of driving with only one hand. His left hand showing you his veins, his right hand on the handbrake, just as veiny as the one on the left. You couldn't help but check it, to look at it, to look at it from all the different angles and aspects it had.
-I hope you like what you see.
You felt his flirty eyes on yours, then looked away.
-I don't know what you're talking about!
He sighed and sneered.
-I don't know what you're talking about! he mimicked
The 19-year-old boy smiled and laughed slightly.
-You're too adorable.
You smiled quietly and picked up your phone, checking to see if the Bluetooth was still on.
-Are you going to put on some music?
-Yeah. Only the good ones!
He finally reached the highway.
-The good ones? Babe, The Weeknd is one of the greatest artists you can't have on earth!
You laughed.
-I didn't even mention him. If you thought I was talking about him, it's not my problem..
He sighed, trying to think of a retort, but laughed instead. He knew you were kidding and only joking.
-Touché. I don't have a come-back for that.
-You never do, anyway! you laughed
He made big eyes at you, trying not to smile or laugh, but quickly lost it.
-I really feel that you are teasing me more than usual today. But hey, if teasing me is making you happy, never stop.
-I'mma put some music, but before look at me..
You took your phone and took a picture of him smiling at your phone's camera.
-Okay, now I'll put it.
-You are so corny, baby.
You smiled knowing he was teasing you like he was usually doing, then heard his voice again.
-You're going to put on our playlist, right?
-Of course I am!
You searched your playlist on the music application then grinned. You made it with him at a sleepover. At first, you and Seb were only supposed to do karaoke, but it all quickly changed when one of your favorite songs passed by. And another one. And another one that made you both screaming at the lyrics. For your partner, it was an oligation to create a playlist for you two. You both loved listening to this type of art and it was always nice to discover songs from each other. And since that day, Moy and you started to create a Spotify playlist by adding songs that remembered you of the other. The playlist fastly became the musical source of your travels and your activites.
You saw all your favorite songs mixed together, then pressed "Play". An energetic and r&b music from The Weeknd began to play and echo throughout the car. A new atmosphere was created with the song from his album. Seb smiled at the first note of the main instrument of the music and started to get excited.
-Starboy!! LET'S GO! Turn it up, baby! TURN IT UP!
You laughed at his childish behavior, but nevertheless responded to his request. He started to dance, then looked at you as he began to sing the words to the wonderful song he had introduced you to, on a Saturday night while going on a trip to get bubble tea and donuts.
-I'm tryna put you in the worst mood, ah! P1 cleaner than your church shoes, ah!
You smiled and watched him continue to sing as if he was the singer and creator of this music. He had listened to it at least 30 times, that was for sure. He saw your reaction and widened his smile as he invited you to join him in the melody that shook his black car.
-You know the songs, baby! Come on sing with me!
You shook your head, which made him turn his head and laugh.
-You're missing out on a great opportunity to sing with the Sebastian Moy.
He started to slow down, then stopped due to the red light and continued to dance.
-Is it okay if I turn the windows down? Or would you rather listening to the music just between us?
-Yeah, no problem, Seb! Turn them down.
He nodded, then rolled down the windows so the whole world could hear the song playing in his vehicle. Sebastian continued to dance, then turned up the radio as the chorus began to play.
-Look what you've done, I'm a motherf***in' starboy! he sang with enthusiasm
He was adorable.
He knew all the words to this electronic song and we could see the passion he had while singing the lyrics. Singing was one of his ways to relax and take away his stress and the fact that he could do it with you made him happy.
The red light turned into a green light, which made him move forward and then turn his head. The lady in the car next to him, who was staring at him, frowned and looked away while your companion smiled at him and started driving faster as if nothing had happened.
-She judged you so hard, lol.
-Yeah, I know. She saw how well I was dancing. I'm super good when it turn out to dancing. I'm even excellent, I should say!
You put your eyes back on the road while hearing his soft laugh.
-Yeah, you're really good.
He smiled, not knowing if you were joking or telling the truth, but gave you a kiss on the cheek and continued driving, putting his eyes back on the road.
-I impress you every day, admit it.
-I admit it.
The song finally ended, leaving the rest of the roadtrip in an energetic and cheerful mood thanks to the singer. You waited a few seconds to find out which songs were going to come through the windows of Seb's car and smiled. Just a few notes of the music could make you guess that it was your favorite playing.
You started to smile then started to dance, which made your boyfriend smile at your reaction.
-THIS! THIS IS THE BOMB! SEBASTIAN MOY, LISTEN TO THIS MASTERPIECE!!
He huffed with laughter.
-Are you always like that while listening to this song?
You got excited with all the energy and joy you just got from the song that was playing.
-Yeah?!
He whispered, but loud enough for you to hear, and smiled at you:
-Hope you'll be as excited and happy when you'll hear our new song that me and the boys have created.
You nodded.
-Of course, yes.
He tried not to blush and smile. It made him happy to know how much you liked their songs that his group were doing. It made him smile every time.
-I am happy to hear that. I'll tell that to Oli. He loves knowing that kind of stuff.
Half the trip was done singing (screaming) to the songs, having fun and making you both smiling and laughing, telling you memories related to the playing songs in the music playlist, then dancing during the stops at red or yellow lights.
Obviously, the people at the lights judged you a little bit, but it didn't matter to you. You had fun, you felt infinite (not me taking a quote from the movie The Perks Of Being A Wallflower lol-) and you were powerful as if the rest of the world didn't exist.
-Shit! We're going to run out of gas for the car. I forgot to put some on last night.
You looked at the dial showing this information, then saw that he was right.
-How many kilometers do you have left? you asked
-40…? he sighed looking at you. I have enough left to go to the next gas station, surely. At least, I hope so.
-We can surely find a nearby one with the GPS.
He nodded and handed you his phone.
-Here, take mine.
You picked up his phone and saw his wallpaper: a photo of you, around a campfire, wearing his black hoodie. It was from about 3 days ago during your activity with your friends. You smiled. He had taken it secretly.
-What?
-Did you take this photo on the sly?
-Yeah? he said while tried to find where was the problem
-You are cute sometimes.
He smiled, without showing his teeth.
-Sometimes?
-Well, okay, all the time.
You entered his code, then went to maps to find out which gas station was closest to you.
-It says it's 15 kilometers from here. Next exit, you will turn right and then left, left again, right, you go straight, you turn right and then left. Then you will see the bank, that's where you have to go straight until you see a post office on the left, you'll have to turn right. If you turn left, we'll be lost. Then you go straight and we should be at the gas station.
He exclaimed:
-I will never remember that. You'll have to tell me the steps by steps, sorry.
You took his hand and nodded.
-I'm hungry. Do you think we can stop at a nearby fast food restaurant if we come across one? You know, we're not going to backtrack just to get food.. Might as well do it as we pass, right?
He laughed without opening his mouth, but keeping his smile, then looked in the mirror next to his window to check if it was okay for him to change lanes. He put on his turn signal and changed lanes when his eyes crossed several fast food restaurant on the next street.
-Yes why not? What do you want? There are several restaurants on this street. Do you know any good ones?
You said your desires and your preferences towards your cravings and saw him smile. Even though you had food in your bag, the food in this restaurant made your mouth water more.
-You know what's cool, babe?
-What?
-Your restaurant you just told me is right next to a bubba's stand. Do you want us to have some? You know, we're just passing by.. Might as well take some.. It would be crazy to avoid it.
You nodded. He loved bubble tea, just like you.
***
-$24.78, please. Do you want to add a tip?
Sebastian looked at the cashier and nodded.
-Yeah, put 20%.
The cashier added the new price and gave the card machine to your boyfriend.
He gave a slight thank you and put his card on the PayPass and heard the sound meaning the payment had been declined. He tried again another time, then heard the same sound. You saw him frown and sigh.
-I don't understand, it just worked at the other shop. Why isn't it working here?
Sebastian took another of his cards and smiled shyly at the cashier.
-This one should work. I put some money last night.
The same noise from earlier repeated itself. You tried not to laugh.
-What's the problem with these cards?!
He gave the boy in front of him an embarrassed smile and took a third card and tried again upon hearing the same sound.
You gave him your card in his hands without him knowing it was yours, and put him in front of the machine.
A sound of acceptance went through, leaving a smile on your boyfriend's face and a sense of relief. It was starting to take time.
-I swear, my cards are starting to piss me off, he said. They are always in trouble. I have to go to the bank as soon as possible.
He removed the card and stared at his card, frowning realizing it wasn't his. He turned his head slowly, then gave you a small smile, turning back to the young boy who looked like he hated his student job. The cashier closed his window as soon as the payment was finished while Seb began to roll to the next window to get the food and rolled up his window.
-Did you take your card to pay? asked your best friend
-Yeah, your cards didn't seem to work.. I swear Seb, yours are expired.
He rolled his eyes.
-First… They are not expired, they are just denied..
You chuckled.
-Denied since 2021, baby.
He let out a smile, then resumed speaking:
-Second, you know I like to spoil you. Don't take your money to pay. If my card wouldn't had been accepted, I obviously would have taken my money out of my wallet. I make the date, I pay. Am I your sugar daddy or not?
You nearly choked on your bubble tea and smiled shyly.
-Whoa, watch out! Don't choke!
You continued to cough and saw him put his hand on your back, while hearing his soft laugh.
-Hey, are you okay?
-Yeah, I just didn't expect you to say that.
He smirked, then glared at you.
-I didn't know those words had such an effect on you..
You didn't answer and saw him approaching you laughing.
You hid your face in your hands and turned your head.
-Are you shy ? he laughed. Babe, you don't have to be.
-I'm okay, Seb, it just surprised me. You're so predictable, but at the same time, no. I didn't know you were going to say that, that's all. It came out funny.
He kissed you on the cheek and smiled as he came closer and closer to me.
-But am I?
You frown in disbelief.
-I'm your sugar daddy, even if my cards are always denied, right?
You nodded and saw him smile as he kissed you all over your face.
The window finally opened to hand out the food we had ordered, leaving the cashier working there staring at us. I pushed Sebastian into his seat, which made him look to his left as he rolled down his window. He blushed, then took the bag as if he hadn't just been caught kissing his girlfriend in a very seductive way.
-Thanks..
He rolled up his window and drove back to the parking lot so you could eat your order while it was still warm.
-Do you think he saw us? he asked me
-It's certain. You should have seen his face!
You sighed.
-Random question. Does it hurt when you have to bend down so much to kiss me?
He shrugged.
-No. I feel nothing. I find it cute when people shorter than me.
He handed you a piece of his food and gave you a taste. You did the same and continued to eat your meal.
You finally arrived at the gas station to fill the car with gasoline. He got out of the car and started to put the pump in his car, while taking a dose of his vape that was in his pants pocket. It relaxed him to vape from time to time and it helped him manage his stress better. Sure, he had better ways to avoid the stress without vaping, but he respected you by not doing it in your house or in his car when you were around. He stroked his soft brown eyes into yours, then gave you a smile. Moy turned to watch the price increase rapidly based on the number of liters he put in his car. Finally finished feeding his car, he put the filler back in its appropriate place and gave you a little mouth enlargement upwards by opening the door of his car and taking one of his cards.
***
Sebastian's hand had been wandering around your thigh for a while. He glanced at you from time to time, smiling to make sure everything was fine, then gave you a wink that made you look away. He knew you were watching him.
-I have the impression that it's like at the beginning of our relationship, that you still have butterflies for simple gestures.
-Obviously, I do.
He gave you a smile.
-I'm glad to hear that, because I feel the same way about you.
He finally stopped, finally letting you discover the place you were waiting for so long, then turned towards you.
-We arrived!
You finally understood.
It was this place.
Sebastian took the blanket from the back of your seats and the white pillows that came from his bedroom. He made a small smile and gave you one.
-I had to take you here. I remember, when we were still teenagers, you said to me "one of my dreams would be to go look at the stars with my future partner or someone I appreciate." and… i thought i could do it with you.
-You remembered that? you asked
He frowned as if you had just asked the easiest question in the world.
-Yeah? I remember almost all the things you told me, when you were a teenager, that you wanted to achieve. I memorized them. Not you?
-I must had lost hope, because no.
-Well, today I will realize it!
You gave him back his exchange of shy little smiles. It reminded you of high school when you passed each other in the purple and greyish halls of your school, going to your different classes and not really knowing what to do other than saying "hi" and waving hands.
As you were going to go out and open the door, you saw him, scanning your figure and your hand, with a serious look.
-Don't even touch that handle, bubba. Do not even think about it.
You rolled your eyes smiling.
Gentleman.
He ran to his right car door and put his hand on the doorknob. Like in the movies and series, he gave you a flirty and attentive look by putting his left hand behind his back and offering you his right hand so that you can add yours in his.
-M'Lady?
You kissed him on the nose and placed your hand in his.
-A real gentleman we have there.
He smiled and closed the door before locking the car with his keys which he put in his pockets. He ran over to you and put the blanket on the floor. He put his pillow on the end of the big and wide red square of fabric and smiled as he patted the spot next to him for you to come sit next to him. You took a seat next to his body and listened to the sound of silence.
The silence of the stars.
You could hear him breathing and see him looking at you. You loved looking at the stars so much. It's always been a dream to do that with someone.
Okay, maybe not a dream since you almost forgot it, but you had for the last 4 or 5 years, the goal of going outside to look at the stars with someone important to you. And today, you could tick the box to say that it had just been done.
-Do you know how many stars are watching us right now? Sebastian asked tearing through the silence of the starry night.
You shrugged, ignoring the answer, but tried anyway.
-Probably a hundred thousand. I don't know.
You turned to him waiting for his confirmation, then saw him on his phone, looking for the answer.
You laugh.
-Are you really looking for the answer on Google?
He turned around and smiled.
-What? No! I'm looking at the time!
He laughed and turned around, letting see, thanks to the brightness of his phone, a soft and harmless smile on his face.
-Okay, you caught me… I wanted to impress you.
You kissed him on the forehead and sighed with joy.
There you were, under the stars, with your boyfriend, your best friend, your crush since you were 12, under the dark blue ceiling with spots of perfectly imperfect white dots.
-Y/N.
You felt his hand approach your cheek, very gently and slowly.
-Even though all the stars are shining tonight, you're still the brighter one in my eyes.
You rolled your eyes and saw him trying not to laugh.
-Sorry, that was too tempting. It was incredibly cheesy and awkward, sorry.
He moved closer to you and placed his lips on yours.
-But still..
You accepted the kiss and put your hands on his cheeks.
-You're too cute trying to do pickup lines.
-I'm trying to seduce you, what do you mean?
-You already did it.
He kissed you again, a kiss that lasted longer, a kiss filled with more passion than the first, a kiss that meant everything, but meant nothing at the same time, a kiss filled with love and tenderness.
He moaned softly into the kiss, which made you smile, and pulled away.
-You don't know how much I love your kisses, bubba.
-So do it again.
-You won't have to ask me twice.
You smiled at his comment and brought your lips back to his, his hands going to your hips, your hands going through his hair. The kiss lasted longer, was more tender and better than the last, but worse than the next. Your mouths parted, letting the silence of the night return for a few seconds.
-I don't want to do it here, he whispered. Nor in my car. We won't have enough room. Especially since it's a mess backwards. I did car talks with the boys, last week and the floor is a bit dirty..
-Me neither.
He smiled as if he were relieved and took your hand in his asking you softly:
-Do you want to go to my house? My parents aren't home, Oli is gone for the night with Nick and Alex and will probably be home very late. Mateo is at a sleepover with his best friend and won't be back until tomorrow morning. We have the house all to ourselves.
You looked into his eyes and stroked his cheek with your hand. You were about to answer when he cut you off.
-We don't have to, Y/N. I want you to feel comfortable at all times. Don't stress about it. We can watch a movie if you'd rather or-
You cut him off by kissing his lips and putting your hands around his neck, decorated with a gray chain, to strengthen the kiss. He accepted it and put his arms around your waist, crumpling the material of your t-shirt.
You smiled between the kiss and asked for access to his tongue which he accepted while groaning into the kiss as if asking for more.
The love in that kiss could very well be felt.
-Y/N..
He caressed your cheek and withdrew from the gap to catch some air. He got up and took your hand to get up, which you accepted. He smiled softly, unlocked the car, opened the trunk, then put your bag on his shoulders and picked up the blanket and the two pillows before putting them back in his vehicle.
He gave you your bag and closed the trunk.
-Let's finish this at my place, do you want to…?
Your lips clung to his like magnets and immediately withdrew.
-Yes. Let's go.
Hope you guys liked it!!
(i hope it wasn't too cringe or something like that? lol)
68 notes · View notes
superfluouskeys · 9 months
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ASKS hmmmmmmmm 5 / 8 / 20 ?
👀👀👀
I just need to say I love that these eye emojis are coming into my house sdkjnfjnkfknjf they're so big and for WHAT tumblr LOL! Saving 5 for the end so I can readmore the snippet!
8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?
kjndfsnjkdfsknjfsd literally the only things I'm weird about writing are smut ideas okay!!! and they're not even that weird it's me i'm the problem!!!!!!!!! So idk, the LiandrinxReader fic will probably be a nice challenge for me on that front, and who knows, maybe this is the year the Hawkedith light bondage fic sees the light of day. oh actually you know what for a non-smut idea I've always wanted to do a tropey time travel fic! but i think i would make myself insane LOL. maybe this will be the year!!!
20. Any plans to work on original fiction this year?
OHOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! It's honestly so hard to choose and prioritize what to work on!!! I have 2 big original ideas, both of which I have rambled at you about extensively LOL. I think I can make a good chunk of progress on the nano nonsense fic this year, since the style is pretty firmly in my wheelhouse and I have a pretty strong idea of the main plot through-line. We'll see how I'm feeling, but I think once I get a few of my lingering fanfic projects done I'll be ready to focus on my original things again! Month-long challenges like nano actually work really well for me when I can manage them, so I might try to do something like that eventually to make some significant progress!
5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?
Again, it's soooooo hard to choose and prioritize!!! Scorched earth is in general my top priority because I just don't want to drag it out too long--before the most recent time my schoolwork beat me to death w a stick I was under the delusion that I could have it almost finished by the new year LOL! But since it's fairly simple in structure and I have it pretty clearly planned out, I mostly write chapters in one or two sittings. Second priority is advancing/finishing ghost of you, since the next chapter is literally almost done, I just got too busy to work on it. But instead I shall offer youuuuu Liandrin x Reader nonsense! It is once again a long snippet because I cannot just be normal.
--
You heard a lot about Liandrin Sedai during your first year or two as a Novice.  There was a rumor, never confirmed but nonetheless ubiquitous, that a Novice had died under Liandrin’s tutelage not long before you had arrived.  As a result, she was no longer permitted to teach Novices.  Furthermore, it was suggested, Novices would do well to avoid her.  Reasons for this varied somewhat, from ‘lest they remind her of her very recent tragedy’ to ‘lest they become the next unwitting targets of her deadly ire.’
You’re sure you never saw her in all that time, though, and eventually you heard the story repeated less and less, only really trotted out when new students arrived to the White Tower.  You learned later that Liandrin had left the Tower for a long while after the incident of legend.  It’s common for sisters of the Red Ajah to take extended leave, and the unfortunate fate of the Novice in question had certainly not impeded her ability to perform the functions for which she is best-suited.
You have also learned since then that for every extended absence, there is a corresponding extended stay in the Tower, particularly for the powerful and influential.  Liandrin is quite popular, if perhaps controversial in some circles, and it has thus been impressed upon her how very much her talents are needed within these walls for the foreseeable future.
Nevertheless, you are nothing short of shocked to see her perched atop the teacher’s desk when you arrive for your afternoon lesson.  You glance out the window, perhaps to catch a glimpse of the dire emergency that must have incapacitated so many Aes Sedai that Liandrin has been deemed a suitable substitute.
Liandrin is technically allowed to teach Accepted students.  Technically.
Liandrin herself looks about as pleased as any of the Accepted.  She pays you no mind as you enter, her piercing gaze fixed on some imagined point on the far wall.  Her arms are folded, her lips are pursed, and it looks like she’s biting the inside of her cheek.  Given her storied reputation, this understandably puts most of the students ill at ease.
“No need to trickle in,” she says, so sharply that you notice a few students flinch.  “You’re all in the right place, I should think.  I am Liandrin Sedai, and I will be overseeing your practice for the afternoon.”
She says all of this as though each word causes her great distress, gaze still fixed somewhere above the students’ heads.
“I am unaccustomed to teaching, and it’s been a long while since I was Accepted, so you will have to forgive me my unfamiliarity,” she continues, but gives absolutely no impression that she is asking forgiveness for anything.  “Adeline Sedai was not generous enough to inform me which weaves you are currently studying.  Would anyone be so kind as to enlighten me?”
The room falls eerily silent.  You cast a surreptitious glance toward Briallyn, who is usually the sort to raise her hand at any opportunity.  She is gazing at Liandrin like she is something inhuman and incomprehensible.
You swallow your nerves and raise your hand.
Liandrin turns her head sharply.  “Yes?”
“Weaving Spirit,” you say, although your voice falters under her exacting gaze.
“Weaving Spirit,” she echoes with a mocking lilt, inclining her head and smiling with false sweetness.  “Could our esteemed little sister perhaps narrow it down, just a bit?”
You feel your cheeks flush hot.  “The basics, I mean,” you stammer.  “Just starting.”
Liandrin scoffs.  “I suppose I should have known better than to expect anything more than that,” she says with a theatrical sigh.  “What was our dear Adeline Sedai having you do, just…” she waves vaguely, “pick at threads of Spirit out of nowhere?  No direction, no purpose?  No wonder it’s taking so long.”
She points at you, and you nearly startle out of your skin.  “Come forward.  Since you’ve been kind enough to volunteer.”
You can hear a low whisper of fear starting up around you as you obey her command, feel the eyes of your fellow Accepted upon you although you keep your head bowed low.  You are shy and unused to this kind of attention.  You can feel your face flushing all the way up to your ears.
Liandrin is perfectly average in stature, yet somehow seems to tower over you through her presence alone.  She ducks her head to catch you eye, and now her subtle smile bears no tinge of mockery.  “Look,” she bids you, gesturing out toward the classroom.
You attempt, quite unsuccessfully, to swallow down your embarrassment.  You look.
“Your classmates are afraid of me,” Liandrin observes, with the kind of neutrality one expects of a particularly uninteresting weather forecast.  “No doubt you’ve all heard stories about me.  Or, should I say, one in particular?”
You glance surreptitiously in Liandrin’s direction.  Her eyes are alight with cruel amusement.  She is enjoying this.  She leans in toward the class, as though to share a secret.  “Let me assure you that what you’ve heard…is absolutely true.”
The whole class visibly recoils, and the frightened whispers culminate in horrified gasps, followed by a deafening silence.
“Look at your classmates,” says Liandrin.  “The same way you would look for threads of fire or water.  Look for their fear.”
A part of you considers that you can see their fear perfectly well without looking very closely at all.  Another part of you is preoccupied with the way Liandrin’s eyes light up watching people recoil from her.  But you know from experience that Liandrin has very little patience, and she will not be pleased if she has to repeat herself.
You tear your eyes away from Liandrin and look, focusing on the class as a whole rather than trying to stare at any one person.  You squint and tilt your head, think of the frightened whispers and all the different versions of Liandrin’s story you have heard repeated over the years.  Some of your classmates are much younger than you, and their precocious talents allowed them to graduate to the rank of Accepted sooner than most.  They must have heard the story of the Novice who died under Liandrin Sedai’s tutelage very recently, and they do not have the benefit of experience to tell them that Liandrin means them no actual harm.
You think you start to see it then, something red and wrong hanging about them, brighter in some places than in others.  On instinct you reach out to pull at the threads.
You are not a talented channeler.  Threads do not respond well or quickly to your beckoning.  But the threads do come to you, slowly, and in this aspect alone, Liandrin is endlessly patient.
“A useful trick, to draw upon strong emotion,” says Liandrin.  Her words are for the benefit of the class, but she speaks quietly, and she is standing close enough to you that her voice makes you shiver.  “Spirit is that which is not strictly tangible, and yet you can feel it, can’t you, when there is a room full to the brim with terror?”
You can see the change in some students then, the ones who understand that this was, at least in part, a play upon their emotions in an unusual effort to educate.  You see the shift not in their faces but in the threads you are attempting to weave, a subtle change in the color and shape as fear gives way to confusion, or brightens into excitement.
You can’t help but wonder what others see, when they look at the color and shape of your own emotions.
New Year Fanfic Asks!
6 notes · View notes
kiliinstinct · 11 months
Text
20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks for tagging me! @celestialtitania
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
56 and uhh.. wow. I guess if we include my Genshin account that would be 58? Wait! My Psued also has some so the total is actually - 74! Damn, that's more than I was expecting actually.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
This is also going to take some calculating...
okay, the total from my mainaccount and it's pseud and my genshin account: 388,886. Kinda blew my mind to see that total lol
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Mainly Fairy Tail, but I've dabbled in Yu Yu Hakusho, Yuri On Ice, Naruto, Legend of Zelda and have begun to write for Genshin Impact!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Imma count this down- first being the lowest to the highest.
Soft Caress with 234 Kudos
Wake Up Call  with 474
Have You Missed Me?  390
Flame's Desire 702
Mistletoe Claim  with a total of 1284 Kudos. (and i still don't understand WHY!?)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
It's 50/50. I like to reply when I can, but sometimes I'm in a rush or busy (or half asleep) when I see the comment and then completely forget about it until later. By then I feel awkward replying. ^^;;
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Uhh, I haven't.. ended.. the angstiest fics yet. But, since you're looking for an ending, I guess Sun in the Rain  ? Since it's dealing with grief and loss of parents?
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
How is this even harder for me to think of? Uhm, maybe I'll go with Fire Sprite No. 5 ? But there's a few others up there, I think.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I'll be honest, hate is very rare on my fics. (And I'm very grateful for it.) Usually I just have people pressuring me to update and guilt tripping me rather than outright hating on a fic. And some of the hate I received years ago is just funny to me. The worst one I ever got I just ignore because it was hardly worth my time.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes and.. the smut kind? (I do not understand the question o.o)
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Only one! And for some reason I never posted it to A03 .. that's weird, I could have sworn I had. Anyway! The Forgotten Temple was a NatsuxLevy fic crossed over into the world of Breath of the Wild that I wrote for a friend. It's the only crossover I've ever done.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Once that I'm aware of! The Matching Scale had one person come to me to let me know someone had stolen it, but the fic was deleted days later. There's one other multi-chapter out there that's based off of it, but that writer got my permission to use the plot before they posted it.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I've been asked 3 different times if someone could translate, but never saw the end result of that. I'm totally down for people to translate my work if they ever wanted to though. Just so long as it's credited and linked to the original.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes.... and no... and.. yes? Okay, there's a few of them but they're not finished so I was never able to post them... Ahem...
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
... Favorite? I'm supposed to have one all-time favorite? Seriously? No. Can't be. There's no way. I've got too many to pick one above all else.
My current Hyper Fixation is TravelerxXiao from Genshin Impact. (Though I'm partial to AetherxXiao rather than Aether's twin sister version of that ship.) Nalu is the one that gave me the most inspiration in Fairy Tail, but I also have a few crack ships that I adore in FT as well, Like CobraxLevy (Or FreedxLevy.. or.. there's a lot of Levy ships don't judge me.) and GrayxLoke. Then there's Sesskag in the Inuyasha fandom... Zelink in Zelda... Zutara in ATLA... and let's not get me started on characters I ship in books or I'll be here all day/night.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
As far as I'm concerned, every single published wip that I have not listed as discontinued WILL BE FINISHED. I'm determined to ensure they are. As for the unpublished ones though.. there's two that I don't think are going to make it outside of the planning and partial writing stage.. which is kinda sad to think about, but I simple can't add more to my plate than I already have.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I'm told I'm good at keeping characters ic even in au settings, so I guess I can see that's a strength, but covering the emotions and inner workings of a characters mind is probably where my biggest strength is. If there are any others.. well.. you tell me?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Description- especially if I'm mixing it in dialogue- or trying to remember when I need to at least give the reader some idea of how a character looks. I get so worried about over describing that I end up not describing enough at all! It's a problem.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Eh, if it's like.. for the setting, where some characters use a different language and don't know the main one, I think it works if done well. Especially if you're trying to show someone who's bilingual. If it works for world building and has been done well, then I'm not going to complain. Asides from that, I usually avoid it and get thrown out of the story when I see it .
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Yu Yu Hakusho and Inuyasha... on an old old old account that you will never, and I mean NEVER, find.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Uhhh... there's that word again. How can I just pick one child over the other? (Flame's Desire.) I can't just pick favorites like that when I have children running around all wanting attention from me - (Flame's Desire.) It would simply be unfair to pick one above the others when they're all so near and dear to my heart - (Flame's Desire.)
Anyway, I'll go with Flame's Desire, as well as the current Genshin Fic I recently wrote and am still editing so it's not posted yet. lol
Tagging, but you don't have to do it.
@pencilofawesomeness @thehylianidiot @genavere @classysassy9791 @phoneboxfairy @grayseyebrowscar @cobrakiin @sandwitchstories @teleiapotami + anyone who wants to steal this
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sirenascales · 3 years
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-> double black [part four] 18+
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-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai
-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?
-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing
The investigation continues, even if things aren't moving as smoothly as one would like. [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]
2,073 words
note: SMUT Like... this was an excuse to write smut with both of them okay, and totally i forgot to tag those who are on my taglist for the previous part and im so sorry lol but please enjoy!
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist
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Days have gone by and the investigation is still underway, but things weren't looking too great. There was still no confirmed DNA evidence, no weapon, not even a witness. Nothing to aid in the apprehension of Taichi's murderer.
"If only Ranpo were here," Atsushi sighed deeply, the snack loving detective out on another case that had popped up. "He would have solved this in a heartbeat."
I laughed softly, wringing my hands nervously. "It's too bad he isn't here," I said, trying to focus on the paperwork in front of me. "Surely it would make things easier for us..."
"But that'll just be boring!" Dazai exclaimed from his desk, leaning against Atsushi who just pushed him off.
"This isn't for your entertainment, Dazai! The killer could have fled the country by now," Kunikida argued, crossing his arms over his chest. "For now, we just have to stay focused and not waste time.
I nodded, slumping back in my chair and fiddling with my pen. "What the hell are we missing..."
We didn't dwell on it for much longer, since the shift ended. I sighed in relief, looking forward to just going home, eating dinner, and going to bed. The case was draining, the dead ends we kept running into just sending us back to square one. Now all I wanted was to rest for the night.
But of course, with a certain suicidal maniac, that was not happening.
"Isn't this cheating..." I gasped out softly, Dazai pressing his naked body against me from behind, his hard dick against my ass and his mouth on my neck.
"Maybe..." Dazai hummed, reaching around to grab my breasts, the soap in his hands making my skin slippery. "But there's no such thing as cheating in a fight."
I gasped sharply when Dazai pinched my nipples, eyes fluttering closed. "This isn't even a fight... you're the weirdo that wanted to turn this investigation into a game."
Leave it to Dazai to basically latch himself onto me as I made my way home. We ordered delivery, eating together on my couch and deciding to watch a movie. Before I knew it, we were making out on my couch, soon enough making our way to the shower.
The water was hot, steaming up the bathroom. Our wet hair stuck to our skin, Dazai holding onto my hips tightly as he fucked me from behind. He bit his lip in concentration, relishing in the sound of my cries echoing in the small room.
"Fuck... Osamu, you feel so good," I cried out, hands slipping on the tiled walls, trying to grab for something. Dazai just pressed his chest against my back, keeping up his rough pace as he chuckled in my ear.
"Do you like that?" "Yes!" "Of course you do, dirty little girl." Dazai reached around and grabbed my face, stuffing two fingers into my mouth. That had my eyes rolling back as I weakly sucked on his fingers, his other hand working on my clit. That finally sent me over the edge as I screamed around his fingers, body shaking as I reached my peak.
Dazai fucked me through my orgasm, ignoring my whines from the overstimulation until he quickly pulled his cock out, pumping himself a few more times before he hit his own orgasm, cumming right on my ass.
"Fuck, bella. You're so beautiful," he gasped, kissing me deeply while pulling us under the hot water.
We barely made it out of the bathroom before going at it again, Dazai fucking me against the wall in the hallway, one of my legs hooked around him while he wrapped a hand around my neck. His breath was hot against my neck, coming out in breathless pants while he continued to rail me.
"Incredible," he whispered in my ear, his hand still around my neck, keeping me in place. "And so pliable... you'll always be putty in my hands."
"Mmm!" I moaned almost pathetically. "Yes..."
"You're my pretty little subordinate?"
"Yes!"
Soon, we finally made it to my bed, where Dazai proceeded to make me ride him like my life depended on it. I was left shaking, the two of us very satisfied.
"So much for a quiet evening," I huffed a while later, the two of us finally getting clean before burying ourselves under my covers. "You are one horny bastard, Dazai."
"Says the equally horny bitch," Dazai retorted and I laughed, turning and pressing my face against the side of his neck.
It went silent, and thankfully it was a comfortable silence where we just lied there, holding onto each other. I sigh contently, fingers lazily trailing up and down his chest while I can feel the bandages on his arms against my skin.
"Dazai?"
"Hm."
"You know..." I started carefully, keeping my face pressed against him. "If you ever need to like... talk... when you're feeling... bad... I'm here for you." I bit my lip, hoping I wasn't overstepping. "I'm here. Even if it's just to listen..."
Dazai didn't say anything, and I was too freaked out to look at him. Though, after a moment, he pressed a kiss to the top of my head, giving me a nice squeeze.
"You are very kind, bella."
I frowned, cuddling up more against him. I blinked when he shifted, looking at him questionably as he set me down on the bed before he started to get up. "Where are you going?"
"To the bathroom," he grinned back at me. "I won't be long, bella. Don't miss me too much!"
I just scoffed and rolled my eyes, watching Dazai leave the bedroom before staring up at the ceiling. I waited, frown on my face growing deeper as the minutes went by, teeth chewing on my bottom lip nervously.
"Sorry, I went to get some water," Dazai then returned, quickly climbing into bed beside me. Immediately his arms are wrapped around me, holding me tight. "Let's go to sleep."
I smiled up at him, softly pressing a kiss to his lips before I settled against him, closing my eyes. "Goodnight."
Dazai watched me for a second, his lips curling up in an amused, knowing smile. "Goodnight, bella..."
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"Ah... this is nerve-wracking..." Keiko mumbled softly, clinging onto my hand as we stepped up to the very familiar tall building. I gulped, nervous since the building was overrun with members of the Port Mafia.
It was the day after that night I spent with Dazai, and instead of being at work, I had received a call from an unknown number. That had turned out to be Chuuya, who ordered me to find Keiko and bring both of our asses to meet him in his office.
Chuuya wasn't just a member of the Port Mafia, but he was an executive, and he held great power. It was almost scary, especially as Keiko and I rode up the escalator to the right floor.
"I wonder what he wants..." Keiko says nervously, biting her lip as we approached the office. We finally made it and I knocked on it five times.
"Come in."
I gulped and we walked inside. Chuuya sat in his desk, and if I wasn't so nervous, I would have been drooling at how fucking fine he looked, sitting with his feet propped on the desk. He gestured to the chairs before his desk lazily. "Sit."
He mostly wanted to talk to Keiko, seeing as she was Taichi's boyfriend and to make sure she didn't tell too much info to the police or "those bastards at the ADA", as he said while shooting me a dirty look. I returned it.
"Of course not," Keiko said softly. "And I wanted to thank you for paying for his funeral. That was nice of you."
Chuuya waved her off. "It wasn't a problem. He was one of my best men." Keiko clenched her fists tightly in her lap as he said that.
"Did you find out anything? We're not having too much luck either," I spoke up, thoughtful look on my face. "Like how can you not find DNA when he was selling the drugs there? There had to have been other people." I looked over at Keiko, missing how Chuuya's eyes went wide before he narrowed them at me.
"It's pissing me off how hard this is," he said rather stiffly, still watching me. "At the end of the day, this might just end up closing as a cold case... but like hell will I forget this." Chuuya clenched his fists, a look of anger and determination on his face. "But we are done here. Well, I'm done with you, Keiko. I still need to speak with her." He was looking right at me.
Keiko gave me a knowing look and a wink and I just playfully shoved her towards the door. "I'll see you later, okay?" I said and she nodded before walking out. Turning back to Chuuya, I watched him get up from his desk. "So what else did you wanna talk about?" I asked, tilting my head as Chuuya walked around the desk and towards me, not answering.
"Um? Hel-mmph!"
Chuuya gripped the back of my neck, pulling me in for a deep, breathtaking kiss. I cupped his face, kissing him back just as deeply. He turned us around so as he walked me backwards with his lips still on mine, I bumped right against his desk, which he sat me on.
"You came in here in this sexy ass dress and expect me not to fuck you?" Chuuya growled, kissing down my neck as his hands moved up my dress. He smirked as he massaged my thighs, quickly finding my knife and removing it. "This is a beautiful knife," he hummed, inspecting it. I smiled softly, weakly reaching to grab it but Chuuya just flicked it, the blade neatly embedding itself right on his desk. "You take great care of it."
"Well, that was my first knife..." I said softly, desperately wanting my knife back, but that went out the window once Chuuya kissed me again.
My legs soon found themselves wrapped around Chuuya's hips. His pants were pushed down just enough to free his cock, my panties pushed to the side as he fucked me right on top of his desk.
"Fuck, dollface, you're even better than I fucking remembered," Chuuya hissed, pushing me on my back, on top of his messy papers. He tossed one of my legs over his shoulder, squeezing his gloved fingers into my flesh as I could only moan and whine in pleasure, his thrusts hitting hard and deep inside me, I was seeing stars.
"S-so much for... only one time, huh," I managed to choke out, my head tossing back as Chuuya hit that one spot. "Oh, fuck!"
"Yeah, shut up and take this cock," Chuuya hissed. His thumb pressed against my clit, and that was enough to have me squeezing him tight as I hit my orgasm, legs shaking and loud cries leaving my mouth.
That got him going and soon, Chuuya was pulling out and I was on my knees, fisting his cock and letting Chuuya cum in my mouth. Chuuya petted my hair, a blissed out look on his face. "Good girl. Now, bend yourself over the desk."
With shaking knees, I got myself up and bent over Chuuya's desk like he ordered, displayed all nice and pretty for him. I looked back over my shoulder, shuddering at how he looked at me, blue eyes full of hunger as he bit on his lower lip. His leather clad hands started to squeeze my ass, moving one hand up until he's pressing on the middle of my back, guiding his cock against my entrance with his other hand.
We borh groaned in pleasure as he started pushing himself in, Chuuya tossing his head back with a hiss. "Fuck, I'll never get tired of this." He starts thrusting his hips, moaning again at the feel of my walls around him. "Fuck, fuck..."
"It's all yours..." I could only babble out, the feel of him stretching me nice and good frying my brain. "Chuuya, please, oh my God..."
After two more soul shattering orgasms, I was finally allowed to leave... if I even could. There was a smug grin on Chuuya's face as he just stared at me. I sat in the chair across from him, the two of us dressed, but he looked like a damn model while I looked like I had a run in with the giant industrial fans they had in elementary school cafeterias during the warmer days.
"Get that dumb look off your face," I whined. "It's not fair. I looked like I got attacked."
Chuuya snickered. "I mean... that's not so far off."
I rolled my eyes. "Ugh, you and Dazai are so unbelievably horny, it's sad."
Chuuya growled. "First off, don't talk about him around me. And second, who was the one begging to titfuck my cock?"
I scoffed, face hot and I turned my nose up at him. "Shut up."
"Just go home."
"Fine. You guys are still cheaters anyway," I said before standing up. I walked over to him, leaning over his desk and I was happy when he met me halfway and gave me a kiss. "Call me again. Maybe when there isn't a weird investigation going on."
Chuuya rolled his eyes, shooing me away. "Just go."
I giggled softly before turning and walking out of the office. Chuuya sighed deeply, opening one of his desk drawers. He stared at the object inside of it for a moment, sighing again before grabbing his pack of cigarettes, taking one and lighting it up before taking a long drag.
-End
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gardenerian · 3 years
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hey wow! tagged by some truly wonderful writers to take part in this fun author interview! ty @arrowflier @livinginsunnyhell @thisaintmacys-bitch @gallavich-x @abundanceofnots @ianandmickeygallavich ❤️
1. How many works do you have on AO3? nine!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 53763. jesus christ. shut... up. mel. just. shhhhh.
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? where i found you, under the mistletoe (pale-green, fairy mistletoe), my baby is a real peach, the moment when a memory aches, step out of the ordinary [this is very humbling....... only two of these are shameless 😐]
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? usually, yes! sometimes i forget, though, and then i feel awkward about how long it's been so then i don't 💔
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? put my faith had the..... most ambiguous ending? it's hopeful, but maybe not as happy as i'd usually do. but i wouldn't call the ending angsty, really. the sequel is about to be happy as fuck though.
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? hmmm. they're all quite happy. but i guess how to be idle and blessed ends in literal sunshine. so. that's happy!
7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written? nah, it's not for me. i can barely keep up with my current characters!
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? thankfully no, or i'd lose my shit and freak out forever
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? lmao i am just starting to. it's not really in any of my ao3 stuff......... yet
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? i don't think so????? is that a thing?
11. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope. thought about doing a gaeilge fic once, but it would just be for me lol
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, but that's interesting! i'm a bit of a control freak though so....
13. What’s your all-time favorite ship? ian and mickey have a vice grip on my heart, goddammit
14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? well. RIP to my princess bride AU, which met an untimely death at the hands of ambien mel. i have no idea if i'll revive it. sigh. maybe one day.....
15. What are your writing strengths? ummmm. it's pretty? i'm all about the flowery stuff.
16. What are your writing weaknesses? WORLD BUILDING. i would love to do a fun AU, but i lack any and all imagination for that kind of thing. i'm trying to workshop a few ideas, but they all kinda fall flat. we'll see!!
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? if it fits, and it's well researched, i say yeah! heather @whaticameherefor uses irish in her fic, and it makes me SO HAPPY.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? LMAO okay. when i was a kid i wrote an anne of green gables story as a gift for my mom…. and then later wrote more for that as an adult 😳 umm otherwise it was riverdale (but those fics are no more), then schitt’s creek, then shameless!
19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? ummm i'd like to do more schitt’s creek maybe? but i’m pretty happy in my shameless corner until something else comes along to inspire me
20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? i guess it’s the OG tomato fic. others have been maybe more special to write, but as a finished piece - this one is simple and sweet. i think my magnum opus is still to come…. whatever it may be!
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