#well… i’m gonna buy like every single version of it anyway s o <-has a very obvious problem

[deus-ex-mona]

i’ll be d a m n e d if the covers of the next lxl album manage to top these illustrations fr

[softcallofdutyimagines]

Hello!! Can we have an couple of HCs of the safehouse bois (COD: Cold War) loving their curvy fem s/o? (and maybe trying to make her feel happy in her body if she's insecure of feels weird?)

Thankie and sorry for the oddly specific request 😅

Djsjsjsj ok ik you have like two other requests, and they'll be coming!!! But this struck such a mood I had to skip the line lol.

Honestly, like the way I tried to treat myself to some ✨ s p i c e y ✨ lingerie that just arrived and it fits literally everywhere else except that, ofc the cup size is an absolute JOKE, i-

Anyway, I digress lmao. Thank you for the request(s) btw, and enjoy!!!

---

Adler

Personally, he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy to have a particularly strong preference for any one "type"

But in the era where the super tall, super slim, super models reign supreme, he understands that sometimes it's hard to feel pretty if you're built like anything else

After all, I don't think any of the guys know how it feels to see yourself as "unattractive" more then he does

I mean, if he'd been cut a little deeper or on a different angle, he could've needed whole skin grafts, or even physical therapy for his jaw

And who wants a guy as messed up and broken down as that, right?

But you... Oh, you're gorgeous

Adler is very soft and gentle when it comes to his appreciation for you and your body

While he does know how to express himself, he's not really the grand gesture type, like some of the others are

He is the biggest self love hypocrite, always quick to get down on himself and his facial scars, but absolutely cannot STAND to see you upset over you body

You chide him for this now and then, but he usually jokes it away

I know I said Adler doesn't really have a type, but don't think for a second that he'd pass up on a great thing when he gets it

I don't want to say "handsy" but he definitely likes to just... Touch you, when you're alone together

Not even necissarily in a sexual way, he just likes to appreciate the shape of you, you know?

Very into hugs from behind, or really at any angle, as long as he gets to feel his arms around your waist

Also, you can catch him absent mindedly caressing your hips with his knuckles or a lone finger whenever he's standing around with you

Hudson

Oh y'all ain't ready for this one lmao

I am 99% certain that behind that steely facade, is a man who loves nothing more then a THICC juicy Queen™

I'm so serious, like the curvier the better for this dirty dog lmao

The best part is, that the fun isn't in that he just goes feral when you two are alone (although he certainly could, in a rare mood)

He's actually really shy about it, and he doesn't want you to feel like that's the only reason he loves you

And while you do appreciate the respect he has for you, you'd be lying if you said you didn't like to tease him

A favorite of yours is to walk into his home office half or fully naked and watch him, very obviously, struggle to stay focused on his paper work

He knows he's weak, but damn it he can never last long before giving in and handing over whatever kind of attention you're seeking

You know, whatever that may be 😏

When you're feeling insecure however, he can sense it immediately and always seeks to get to the bottom of whatever is causing you to feel that way

Although he's rather direct, he's tactful and tries his best to know the right thing to say

He's a great listener, and will never hesitate to tell you how beautiful and special you are to him

Lazar

Lmao, I don't think there is any universe in which Lazar would not be in full support of being with a curvy woman

Especially as a big guy himself, you two are an absolute power couple

He is both literally and metaphorically your biggest hype man when it comes to your appearance

Also, 10/10 likes to give you gifts of clothes and the like that he thinks you might appreciate/look pretty darn good in

Honestly, it is rare to feel down about your body when in a relationship with him, but everyone gets insecure sometimes, and he gets that

Thankfully, he's a master comforter, and is always at the ready to give you the treatment you need to feel better

Typically you can expect snacks and cuddles if you're just feeling sad, and stuff like a massage or body kisses and so forth if you need a reminder that you're literally the most gorgeous woman on earth

Oh, and he's very protective of you and defensive of your looks

I kind of hate to use this terminology lmao, but Lazar is the Alpha™ everywhere he goes, and he has no problem reminding other guys of it

So if he sees someome else checking you out, he'll be sure to block their view and do something like make direct eye contact until they leave you be

Have you ever had a 6'4, powerlifter looking, tank of a man sneer directly at you before?

Not a good feeling, I assure you

Needless to say, you don't have to put up with much, if any harassment or other stupidity on Lazar's watch

Mason

Alex strikes me as the type who doesn't buy into the paper thin beauty standard that society like to push

Obviously that's great if you're just naturally thin and all! But mostly he's totally down for the curvy, "built like a brick house" type of woman

He appreciates the way that you can keep up with him when he has to do physical things around or outside the house

Alaska is a rather unforgiving place after all, so he finds great comfort in the support and companionship you have to offer him

You're like his little amazonian goddess, and he's always in awe of not only how unbelievably beautiful you are, but also how hardy and tough you can be

In fact, you and your body are so normalized and loved by him in his mind that it genuinely catches him off guard when you say you're feeling insecure about it

But in times like that, he loves to tell you how beautiful your body is, not just for the way it looks but for the things it can do

You're built so strong and tough, but also soft and feminine... he can't even think about being with anyone else

He's very into body worship, like Lazar is, but Alex is a lot more gentle and is extremely conscious of making sure you're alright as he goes along kissing and caressing

If he could only show you how beautiful you are to him, he would in a heartbeat, but for now he just hopes his words and actions are enough

Sims

Oh, you already know Sims loves a thicc, curvy snack of a woman lmao

Skinny guys always love the curvy ladies

He doesn't really go feral when you two are alone, but he's not exactly shy about having this hands all over you either

For sure he always greets you with a compliment, whether it be a look, a whistle, or words... he's prepared

Also, he's very vocal in having you understand that there is not a single outfit you look "bad" or "unflattering" in, even if it's just sweats and a t-shirt

In fact, he is so confident in you, that he loves to show you off when he can and if you're comfortable

Always introduces you as "his girl" and is never afraid to point out your new outfit, hair-do, nails, ect

I feel that Lawrence would be another case where it's quite rare indeed to feel insecure about your body, and so when such times do arise he takes it seriously

He's basically a gentler, more emotional version of Hudson

By that I mean, he's the type to want to talk it out (if you're up to it) and ask what's wrong or if someone said something to you

You'll always have a reliable listener and food advice giver in him, and somehow that seems to always do the trick

Woods

Honestly, Woods is Hudson part 2, except that he has all the vocalized pride of loving curvy women as Sims and Lazar

He's still careful to make sure he doesn't come off as a creep or something, mind you, but complimenting and loving on your body just comes naturally to him

Extremely handsy in private, and you've definitely swatted his hands away from your hips, waist, back, ect more then once

In public, I wouldn't exactly say "handsy" but he's determined to make sure everyone knows you're with him

He usually escorts you places with a hand gently placed either just above your tailbone or protectively wrapped around your waist

As independent as you may be, you must admit, it's nice to feel like a princess everywhere you go, escorted around by your knight in shining flannel

He'll even offer you his arm if he's feeling particularly gentlemanly, because yes, miracles can happen

Unfortunately, Frank is probably the worst wordsmith of all the gang, and is next to clueless on what to say if you're feeling down and insecure

At least to his credit he'll usually start off by admitting to that fact before giving it a try

"Well, you know I'm shit with words, but... I hope you also know that I love you the way you are"

Thankfully what he lacks in words, he makes up for in physical affection

Even if you're really only comfortable with some cuddling, he's gonna cuddle you so good!!! He's determined and will stop at nothing

After all, whatever it takes to make you feel every bit as amazing as he knows you are

[doctor-plagueis]

RWBY Booty Tier List

Hi I said it would happen so now it's gonna happen, time to rate asses and explain why I gave them that rating...

(also they are in order from flattest to phattest)

[This took way too long (T-T) ]

Starting with D TIER Aka Flat as fuck

Raven: Ya go to the lowest tier in D tier ya all-tits-no-ass having ass, you deadbeat fucko (I really don't like parents who leave their children, how'd you guess?).

Weiss : Sorry girl but even with all your dance training, your Sperm donor's DNA is in you, if it was just your mom's DNA you'd rocket up to A TIER, still more ass than Raven tho, which says a lot about Raven since Weiss is as flat as a wooden plank (sorry @naughtyweiss your girl has no ass).

All of team NDGO: these bitches show up once or twice, and, in the novels they do something bad? I didn't read it, but they like sacrifice some people to the Grimm or something? Anyways they have almost no ass too little to actually matter.

C TIER Aka Too much muscle

Pyrrha : Sorry unbeatable girl your life style is just too healthy, with all her exercises and no fat foods she has no cushioning, I'm sorry Pyrrha you just have too much muscle.

Reese : With all her skating she must have some muscle in the back, like literally, her muscles are trained to keep her on the board during combat so her ass is super firm, but that's a bit of a downside since it's too firm, kinda hard actually like really hard.

Also she gives me party animal girl vibes, that doesn't affect anything just thought I'd mention it.

Elm: Have you seen how tall and beefy that girl is? Now does this affect her backside...mmm...kind of? Her ass is just and, I mean just muscle which is bad because no cushioning.

But her thighs tho mm~mm delicious.

Yang : Yang is all about her upper body, she's proud of her tits and her arms, she is Miss "punch first ask later" after all, so i can actually see her skipping some leg days, like Reese her booty is alot of muscle but not so much cushion, sorry Yang.

Arslan : Like Yang, Arslan is all about working out and honing her body to peak physical fighting ability, however, this girl has genetics on her side, her tits aren't as big as Yang’s however, she make up for having a tentsy little bit of cushion for the pushin' not really enough to be B TIER though.

B TIER Aka Now were gettin' good

Penny Ver.2 : Penny Version 1 was pure metal (at least in my headcanon) so she was all legs no butt, however, Penny Version 2 (again in my headcanon) had synthetic skin, now I'm not saying Pietro is some weird pervert giving his child a fat ass, but he was "generous" which was inaccurate as...

Penny (human) : Penny as a human never had the chance to exercise [fuck you RT (T-T)], so her booty was a little lacking but it was still bigger and rounder than her robot body.

Ruby: Now you and I both know that with all the sweets Ruby eats she isn't exactly thin, good thing though is all the fat goes to her ass, Ruby has that fatty y'all!

Neo : I'm sure people will question this one but, Neo's height is a detrement on her ass, since she's so short her ass has to be proportional to her actual height, so for women her height she has so much ass but compared to the others in this list it isn't as much.

Coco: Coco takes care of her fashion and her body. She does squats often and keeps a balance between fat and firmness. Unfortunately genetics gave her a cute face but not a phat ass, sorry queen.

Summer: Same as Ruby except she has that MILFY boost to her hips and booty (she also has bigger tits but, oh well this isn't the Titty Tier list so...).

Winter : Training for the military helped null the taint of Jacques DNA in her, so she took a bit more of her mother’s blessed genes, her ass isn't exactly impressive like the girls in A TIER but it's nothing to scoff at either, unlike her sister (sorry Weissey).

Miltiades "Miltia" : both sisters wear heels, however, Miltia has bigger boobs than her twin while Mel has a bigger booty, still wearing heels and being as acrobatic as they both are requires a lot of lower body training, and also since they work at a club as security they do know how to seduce people, and that did affected their rating.

A TIER Aka Nearly perfectly fuckable

Harriet : Now to be one hundred percent honest Harriet has more thighs than ass, however, with her focus on speed and the training she does, she must have a nice fuckable ass, not the biggest or roundest but really, really nice.

Melanie: Both sisters are guards for Junior's club, but, I like to think that Mel also works as a Stripper or Lap dancer (Hooker if you got enough to buy her services and have a dick big enough, she's a bit of a size queen), so she worked on making her already fat ass even better and also took the time to hone her sex appeal, those being her twerking and lapdancing.

Velvet : Bunny gal has some phat Bunny Buns if ya catch my meaning, like go back to volume 3 and get a good look at her costume, girl's got hips and ass like she was bred for it!

Willow: Have you seen her in the newest volumes?? She has a chance (admittedly small) against the legendary bellabooties Gahtdayum!

Too bad she wasted it with a nearly sterile fucking shit pile of a human like Jacques, ugh... (How he managed to have 3 children baffles me, must've taken half the world’s supply of Viagra)

[Side note our favorite Schnee femboy took after his mom, if he was on the list he'd be just below Harriet hehe].

A+ TIER Candidates for the Bubble Booty Brigade (BBB)

Glynda : Glynda is a professional huntress, she is a teacher and she's decked out in dominatrix gear, can I make it any clearer?

Salem : Salem is the original MILF, the thiccest witch of remnant , and also, she has magic and is technically a monster girl sooo... that gives her extra points (who would've guessed I like monster girls hehe).

The next entry might be blasphemous for some and for that I apologize but...

Blake and Kali : I'm sorry kitties, even though the belabooties are know world wide they are not yet in the BBB. Blake has the firmer booty because of her time in the Fang but Kali has the MILF bonus.

Because of their similarities and their diferences they tie for top of A+ tier.

S TIER The BUBBLE BOOTY BRIGADE

The three heavenly asses of remnant, only three girl stand a top the mountain of the perfect Bubble Booty and they are in order...

May Zedong : May has been depicted by the fandom as being really curvy, especially the cow udders she calls breasts, however she hides her curves under her clothes. The same applies to the fucking badonk she hides in her baggy pants, so much so in fact, that May should be number two of the BBB but because she's so shy about her body she's demoted to number three, still, being a member of the Brigade is a blesing of itself.

Emerald Sustrai : As stated in the previous entry Em should be number three, but because May is so shy and Emerald isn't they swaped places. Em is number two because of one singular thing, she knows her ass is her best atribute, and she fucking flaunts it, she knows she can make men and futas pitch tents, and make women stare like horndogs just by walking past them. Not only that, but she wear clothes that accentuate her ass from short shorts to miniskirts, she knows how to make anyone undeserving cream themselves just by swaying her hips a little and winking. Her seduction skills boosted her above everyone else except one.

NORA VALKYRIE THE ONE TRUE BUBBLE BOOTY OF REMNANT

Every single step a jiggle, every single jump or tiny hop and the world stops to stare, every time she passes by jaws hit the floor, every man woman and futa either wants Nora or wants to be Nora.

Nora's voluptuous cheeks are legendary and the worst part of it all is: She does know the effect she has on people, and she gives zero shits about it.

Because no one is worthy of her divine ass cheeks, except for two men: Jaune Arc and Lie Ren.

She's found her studs the ones who care for her, love her, give her the world AND the ones who have huge bitch breaking cocks to fuck her into the sheets like rutting animals.Every.Single.Night.

Every day of her life is one big teasing session for her studs, she purposefully wear skirts just short enough to see the glorious bounce, she always finds excuses to bend over, she sits on their laps as often as possible.

Just so she can have the mind blowing three ways she has every night.

All hail Booty Queen Nora Valkyrie.

Now everyone thank you for being patient this was something i spent a few days writing (like 3-4 days) and I only wrote this for that time so I hope y'all like it.

Some chacters are missing I know, but I really am comfortable with how it is now.

As always this SHOULD NOT AFFECT YOUR WRITING.

This was a thought experiment of mine, and like I always say in this sort of thing WRITE HOW YOU WANT TO WRITE I hope this was clear.

Thanks for reading and please if you so desire share it with friends.

But for now see ya!

[shoichee]

hi ! <3 I Absolutely luv your scenarios!:) Can I request for the pregnant s/o scenario with Midorima & Murasakibara ? :o Thank you :D

HELLO <333 wahhh tysm for reading, and i hope you’re still around lurking here to see this, my anon <33 also, i did write these in headcanon formats but please PLEASE let me know if you wanted scenarios and i’ll whip up scenarios :>

Pregnant S/O with Midorima, Murasakibara

Note: I am also writing this hc under the premise that the S/O has been dating with them for quite some time and is practically settled with them

Part 1 here

Midorima Shintarou

How He Found Out

i would believe for him to always, always use protection whenever he ends up having sex with you, and make sure you’re on birth control to prevent such an occurence

for a pregnancy to even happen, these conditions need to happen: 1.) he needs to be 100% sure that the two of you will be together for a very, VERY long time enough to not freak out about contraceptives or at least toy with the idea of not use any in the back of his mind and 2.) you somehow riled him up so much that he let it slide once/twice and go condom-free (whether you were on birth control or not that’s up to you, but he’d assume you were)

well, it turns out that during one of those rare moments of unprotected sex, you got pregnant, and now here you are with a positive stick in your hand squinting at it and scratching your head that you were either incredibly lucky or unlucky to get pregnant out of those few times you two went raw

how were you gonna tell him? well, he was a traditional man, so you simply set up a small, cute surprise for him when he gets back home

y’know, balloons in the living room and a little wrapped gift on the cleared table… it would send the message across… you think

hours passed and you were on the sofa twiddling your thumbs like a preschooler on timeout LOL and you didn’t want to go anywhere in case Midorima comes home early

your instincts were right because an hour later, he comes home utterly exhausted, immediately thinking about being roundabout in asking to snuggle with you

but then he freezes when his shoe stepped and POPPED one of the balloons you scattered around prior, and it scared him SHITLESS

he almost dropped his lucky claypot. almost.

“(y/n), what is going on?!”

he thinks it’s one of your antics and pranks as usual, and he immediately sighs exasperatedly at the thought of cleaning the mess up

“Seriously, I can never leave you alone in this house, nanodayo…” and as he shuffles through the floor, trying to avoid the rest of the clutter you caused, he notices you sitting primly on the couch (and giving him a poorly-concealed smile)

“Shintaro! I didn’t know you’d come home so soon~”

“Well, everyone was being annoying as usual, and most of the work has been done for today. I might as well come home to spend the rest of the day with you… obviously.”

you were so obvious, your eyes flitting back to the gift on the table and back to him, and Midorima doesn’t know whether to roll his eyes or laugh

“I’m assuming this is all for me,” he sighed, trying to hide his smile. “I don’t recall any special occasion for today, though.”

oh, your face just grew the biggest shit-eating grin at his words

“Is that so?~” you feigned with a sing-song voice

at your insistence on him opening the present right now, he swiftly pulls the ribbon apart and opens the box to see your positive test

MIDORIMA.EXE has stopped working

“W-W-W-What is that?!”

“A pregnancy test.”

“Whose?!”

“... Mine?”

“Wait, how?! With who??”

“Uh…” You stared at him incredulously. “You?”

MIDORIMA.EXE is failing to reboot

you were pointing at yourself and Midorima to further try to get the POINT ACROSS to this poor man who’s trying to process this OFBEJDIWHRIE

but you stopped your hand motions when you see the purest smile slowly growing on Midorima’s normally stoic face

YOU.EXE has stopped working

he brings you into a tight embrace and for a while you two hug in silence, enjoying each other’s company

“So uh, I’m pregnant,” you said, your words slightly muffled by his shirt

“Yes, I am quite well aware now,” he replied dryly, but his eyes are quite affectionate

“I hope you realize that this is a huge responsibility, (y/n).”

“Hey! I know that it’s a big deal! Come on, who do you take me for?”

“... Right.”

During Pregnancy

the first thing he does was take you to the doctor’s just to find out when you were going to deliver

“What? Why?” you asked him

“I must know our child’s horoscope sign as soon as possible,” he said seriously. “We have to make sure they’re born with no misfortunes attached to them.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

MIDORIMA PLEASE-

okay, but he’d also ask the doctor diligently on what you should be doing and what he should be doing to ensure a successful delivery

Midorima is deadass budget-version doctor at home

it’s that one meme where you go:

“Hey mom can we have a doctor?”

Mom: “We already have a doctor at home.”

Doctor at home: Midorima Shintarou

JOKES aside, he really is knowledgeable on this entire ordeal, which is a blessing and a curse

you could always come to him to rely on him when you’re unsure of something or for him to deal with your moodiness

but at the same time, you can’t get away with snacking on abhorrent things because he’d SNATCH them off your hands and scold you for being irresponsible LOLOL

you could NEVER sneak off unhealthy food because he’s ALWAYS somehow there to catch you or he eventually finds out later and still give you an earful

you still try to do it again anyways

then there’s that side of Midorima where he’d stuff the entire house with bundles of lucky items because he insists on buying two lucky items for you and the kid every day during your pregnancy… all so you can “maximize” your chances of having a successful delivery

you’re sobBING, it’s so CUTE BUT SO DUMB

did I mention that he’s already started on building the nursery and decorating it in ALL sorts of lucky charms and adorable plushies under the guise of “being safe and making the room lucky”

he rarely lets you step out of the house, but if you have to, he’ll always make the time for you so he can accompany you and just glower at anyone who looks at you the wrong way

surprisingly, he’s a lot more lenient on the PDA during your pregnancy: LOTS of hand-holding, chaste kisses on your head/forehead and maybe cheeks, and he does often hug you from the side to protect you

if you bring it up to him though, he’ll deny it to the VERY end and insists that he only does it so you don’t get moody and snap at random strangers passing by, and then it’ll be a hassle to deal with them

yeah right, Midorima

Murasakibara Atsushi

How He Found Out

when you first found out, you decided to hide it from him until you can figure out how to go about your pregnancy

1.) he didn’t seem like the type who can handle kids, let alone even like them

2.) you’re worried about how he’d react considering that he has a “devil-may-care” attitude and has quite a languid view on most things, even to this day

you underestimated Murasakibara though because when you first initially excused yourself to the restroom the first few times, he assumed that you were having too many sweets and barred you from consuming them until you got better

but you didn’t… in fact, you looked even sicker as the days progressed

that was when Murasakibara got suspicious and started paying attention to you and your behavior

when he gets serious, he’s incredibly sharp and intuitive

even still, he doesn’t know if he should confront you or wait until you tell him, because you’ve always been the “big pants” in the relationship, for lack of better terms

so he waits and observes, but he still acts just as normally as any other day, and you, on the other hand, thought you were able to successfully hide this from him

still, when you keep up this sneaky behavior around him, he slowly doubts himself about if he did anything wrong, if he forgot anything important, or if you’re doubting this relationship ???

but he’s not going to admit it to you, so he’s going to casually call Himuro and voice his concerns in such a roundabout way

Himuro immediately understands what he’s trying to ask and simply tells him to talk it out with you

ofc, Murasakibara just huffs and complains about it being so troublesome, but Himuro, smiles, knowing him better that he was going to do it despite his verbal complaints

when asking you if he did anything “wrong” and such, you immediately shake your head and deny it all to ease his worries, and you tell him that it wasn’t anything like what he imagined

at your words, Murasakibara was relieved but at the same time, if these weren’t the problems, why were you acting so strange?

like when you kept oversleeping, kept rushing to the bathroom early mornings, or when you even turned down his offer of going to the grocery store, bakery, and the confectionery store together multiple times simply because you said that you didn’t have the energy

he finally confronted after a few weeks of dodging on your end, draping his entire body over you from behind and placing his chin on top of your head

“Chibi-chin…” he mumbled. “You’ve been acting really weird for the past few weeks. Talk to me.”

you only sighed as you turn around and embrace Murasakibara, and then separated from him to put distance between the two of you as you make eye contact with him

you resigned yourself to tell him the truth because he was going to find it sooner or later, considering that you’ve developed a small bump… so far, you’ve passed off your stomach size as a “food baby” and “gaining weight, I guess,” but you knew you couldn’t use that excuse forever

but before you can utter out a single word, dizziness hits you like a truck, making you completely lose balance before you legit fainted on the spot

poor Murasakibara expresses one of his rare moments of absolute distress as he lunged forward to catch you before you fell to the floor

he’s dialing Himuro because he has no idea what to do and he’s absolutely PANICKING and thinking of the worst-case scenarios of what happened to you

Murasakibara was READY TO CALL THE AMBULANCE AND EVERYTHING but Himuro managed to calm him down enough to reason that it’s better to bring you by car

after all, Himuro had an inkling of an idea of what happened to you, but like a little shit, he’s not gonna tell Murasakibara because seeing him so openly expressive like that was a guilty pleasure for him

POOR MURASAKIBARA

he’s constantly holding you in the car like his life is on the line, and Himuro is just driving and looking straight ahead mentally cackling and wondering how he’s gonna escape his wrath if Murasakibara ever finds out that he knew but didn’t tell him

imagine a distraught giant busting through the doors carrying an unconscious you with a model-like guy trailing behind and pushing the giant to the side to try to coherently talk to the disoriented receptionists

what a life

the doctor merely just says that you fainted and it wasn’t serious, and Murasakibara doesn’t believe them ONE BIT

but he notices Himuro walking over to the doctor’s ear and whispering something, before they had an “ah-ha!” moment, and then right on cue, they had you moved to a different room for testing

poor giant is so agitated, constantly shaking his leg on the floor while he’s sitting in the waiting room, jeez HIMURO PLEASE GIVE HIM A BREAK

“Congratulations! She’s pregnant!”

“Huh.”

“Aren’t you her special someone?”

“Indeed, Atsushi is!” Himuro answers for him with a wink

Murasakibara needs to p r o c e s s this

after a while, you groggily stroll out the room like nothing happened, but still you had a frown on your face because you didn’t want Murasakibara to find out about your pregnancy this way

the car ride home was so AWKWARDLY SILENT

when you both get home, he gets SO PETTY AND CHILDISH AND HUFFS AWAY AND REFUSES TO TALK TO YOU

you try to coax him with kisses, hugs, and tickles, but he’s not budging one bit

even snacks didn’t move him… even though he did eye them for a bit before he turned away

“Atsushiiii,” you whined. “Talk to meeee, I’m sorry.” and there you go pouting and trying to squish his cheeks to get him to give up

he looks at you with an uncharacteristically serious look when he asks, “Why didn’t you tell me, Chibi-chin?”

and here you are, reluctantly explaining your reasons, and Murasakibara is just frowning because he’s thinking about how he needs to get his shit together so you don’t ever think that you can’t rely on him again

lots of wholesome cuddling to make it all up to him

“So… Chibi-chin.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m… gonna be a dad?”

“Yeah.”

and he gives you the brightest smile he’s had since the game against the Jabberwocks, except it was much more intimate and sweeter

During Pregnancy

does Murasakibara have any idea on how to deal with pregnancy? no, but to be fair, most people aren’t prepared anyways

he keeps forgetting that he can’t just give you sweets and snacks willy-nilly anymore because that’d be horrible for the you and the child

but he’s always giving them to you out of habit LOL, but of course, usually you turn his snacks down and remind him that you can’t eat them anymore

except when you have ungodly cravings and just accept his offerings without a complaint

and then Murasakibara feels like something feels off before he realizes you’re tearing off the packaging and ready to shove the entire biscuit into your mouth—

from that point on, he’s a lot more diligent in keeping the processed foods away from you

whenever Himuro stops by to help you out, Murasakibara REFUSES to forget what he did before and he glares daggers at him with every chance he gets, and both you and Himuro ignore him and are having your own conversations about the child AND MURASAKIBARA JUST SULKS IN THE CORNER ALL ANGRY—

he’s so petty and he’s so pouty, and honestly he is the one that becomes clingy during your pregnancy

whenever you shop for baby essentials to prepare, he’s always tailing after you like a lost puppy and trying to learn and understand the baby basics(????), while also doubling as your bodyguard

I mean, who would want to mess with you while there’s a purple titan RIGHT there?

still, you get a huge kick when you see people’s shocked expressions at seeing this gigantic man in the baby sections/aisles following around

you noticed, especially during your later trimesters, that he’s even gentler in how he handles and touches you, and it’s super cute that he’s so conscious about his size and strength around you

your heart is LITERALLY melting

you don’t think he even realizes that himself

but still, Murasakibara has to literally grit his teeth to stop himself from glaring/snapping back at you when your mood swings get really bad

how much do you want to bet that Murasakibara makes you buy extra baby food just to try it?

he’d probably even make you taste test it with him

he says it’s so the baby can eat the best brands out there and doesn’t have to eat the shitty food, but you think that he’s just eating it for fun and you tell him not to spoil the baby so early like that

he leaves the decorations and actual planning up to you though, even though he’ll be right behind you as you do it… he just finds it tiring and too complex sometimes

if you send him on grocery errands and things like that, he’d actually get up and do it without a complaint

if it was all for you and his child’s sake, he’ll do anything… after all, it’s the least he can do to be a dependable father

[bitchiha]

I just found your blog, and I love it already. Can I request relationship hc for Kankuro and Darui(if you write him)?

✎ Relationship HC’s (Kankuro, Darui)

A/N: so I’m proud I actually managed to whip a post out lol, also Kank and Darui are some of my fav characters and I’m sad I haven’t written much for either of them... anyways, enjoy and thank you for requesting this, wonderful anon!

Kankurou

So we can just jump straight into it here: you’re gonna have to put up with all the puppets. Like when you come over to his apartment for the first time you probably have 5 mini heart attacks. You’re shrieking around every corner you turn because there is always damn puppet there waiting for you. Sometimes it’s not even a full puppet, just a puppet limb. This continues to scare the shit out of you when you move eventually move in too. Like it’s something you cannot escape.

Yes, he does have a work room, but his work is not limited to that room (that’s what he’ll sassily tell you as he picks up the puppet you flung across the room because it basically jump scared you.) However.. Little by little you notice that he starts to leave less and less puppet parts around the house, which is really touching because Kank can be stubborn as fuck sometimes.

Also, he loves when you come over and sit on his lap while he works on one of his puppets; bonus if you let him blab about them. Honestly you don’t have to even listen, just make it look like you are. Let your hands play with his hair as you nod along whenever he pauses his sentence, knowing it’s a cue for a little response from you.

One of the scariest things you’ll have to deal with in the relationship is when Kankurou casually has conversations with his puppets. Like one night you came home a little late from work and you heard your boyfriend talking in a hushed tone and you’re like?? Who’s he talking to?? Figured it was Gaara because let’s be real.. Kank does not have a side hoe, he cannot get a side hoe, even if he wanted. So anyway.. You didn’t want to bother him, so you just quietly walk into the work room to peek inside, only to find Kank talking to one of his puppets. He notices you at the door and stops mid conversation and clears his throat, but it’s too late, you’ve already heard him.

“Kank.. babe.. we’re you talking to your puppet just now?” He just stares at you sheepishly, but the puppets still perched on his lap nonetheless, “... There’s no point in me denying it is there?”

He’s kinda shitty at gift giving on special occasions. Like he is just is so fucking bad that you’ve accepted the fact that your birthday gift will be a teddy bear like every single year. But he makes up for it with the random gifts he gives you throughout the year. Like if you’ve been away for a long time you always come home to some sort of cute little puppet waiting for you. He’s made one of your favourite animal, favourite anime character, mini versions of his own puppets, etc. At this point in the relationship you’re starting to get used to the puppets, so you end up keeping them on a shelf in your room. He always gets so giddy when he comes to your place and sees them displayed like that. And loves it even more when you keep them displayed after you move in together.

Sorry sweetheart, but if you do not like his siblings.. NEXT CALLER. Bye. He’s ending the relationship right there. But if you get along with them his heart melts, especially if you and Gaara become friends. Or like if you can remotely handle Gaara pre chunin exams. Yah will do it. He’s head over heels for you. You’re both protective mama bears now and will keep Temari and Gaara safe with your lives and vice versa.

Badass fighting duo. If anyone wants to fuck with Gaara or Temari you two are gonna fuck shit up to say the least. But even on missions too, like you guys can read eachother perfectly and even if you were bickering before the battle starts — all the tension goes out the window and you’re focused on the problem at hand. You can go back to flaming eachother afterwards. Just a little side note: he loves showing off his puppet skills. So don’t be surprised if he calls out “y/n! Babe! Y/n! Over here — This is how the Ant looks in action.” Then he proceeds to iron maiden the victim. Give him a thumbs up and congratulate him please. Even if it’s kinda a very graphic scene.

Kinda fucks with PDA tbh, like he tones it down once Gaara becomes Kazekage because he needs to keep up a respectable image, but still does light PDA. Pre Kazekage Gaara, he would suck your face off anywhere. But when Gaara becomes Kage, he just gives you quick kisses instead. Doesn’t go for handholding a lot, prefers having an arm around your shoulders or around your waist. Slaps your ass too, if there isn’t a lot of people around and he can get away with it. If you wanna make him jealous though, all that composure goes out the window.

KISS HIS HANDS. LOVE HIS HANDS. When you’re at home and you two are cuddling, run your thumb lightly over his knuckles, over his calloused palms, kiss the pads of his fingers... it just makes him so soft lol. Like kiss the scars of blisters or scratches from his work tools and he’s putty in your hands girl.

I’m 100% sure that Kank can handle a moody / bratty s/o. Like you’ve got a little spice? He can take that. Afterall, he handled little moody pre teen Gaara before, I’m sure he can handle you. Doesn’t mean he isn’t stubborn though, he won’t let you win arguments. Which is a problem if you’re stubborn too. You will argue for hours and wont even remember what you were arguing about to begin with, then one of you’ll have to be like: pause the music.. what were we even mad about? Neither of you can remember and you’ll just shrug it off and go out for ramen or something like nothing happened.

If you don’t already have somewhat of a thick skin when you start dating Kankurō, you will eventually form one. If not, shits not gonna work out. Like he’s just a teasing person and he likes to have little roast sessions, they just entertain him. He hardly ever oversteps himself when it comes to the banter, but if he does he’s kinda oblivious. If you start crying though he’ll feel so bad, like it was just mindless teasing he didn’t mean to make you cry. Will remember what made you react like that and won’t ever mention it again.

I think he also tells the best stories. Like he just has the best expressions and voice for it. Not to mention having a jinchuuriki and Kazekage as his brother; he’s experienced some crazy shit. He mindlessly babbles them out to you whenever something reminds him of that particular time. Like if he sees a person walking their dog, it brings him back to the time when he defended kiba against one of the Sound Four. Then boom. He just randomly blurts out the story as you two are walking.

Kankurou is a surprisingly good cuddler. He always wants to be the big spoon and likes to pull you close to his chest and sling his arm around you lazily when you’re watching tv together . He’s constantly getting his hands tangled in your hair because he loves to play with it. Sometimes if you fall asleep while he’s cuddling you, you’ll wake up two French braids or something. Honestly, you’ll be shocked at how he managed to do that at first, but let’s be real he probably styles his puppets hair in his free time.

Overall an entertaining s/o, I would reccomend.

Darui

Oh boyyyyyy... Where do I start with this guy? He’s such an amazing hype man. Like Darui is so fucking flattered that he managed to score such a smart and gorgeous person that he will never let you forget it. He swings you compliments all the time and they don’t even sound overbearing from him because he’s just that cool. Even the way he compliments you is cool. Don’t forget to compliment him too though.... pls be eachothers hype men.

He’s also the loyalist man you will ever meet — we see what he’s like with the Raikage, you can’t tell me otherwise. Like once the two of you are officially dating he is committed 100% to you and will do anything for you. So do not mistake his laid back demeanour for laziness because when it comes to your relationship he is ready to do whatever you want. You want a certain flavour of ice cream, but the store ran out? He will go to every single grocery store in the village to find you that flavour for you. His s/o deserves the best and if they can’t have their favourite ice cream then he won’t rest till they do. Literally. Sometimes you have to go out and find him and tell him it’s okay and that he can come home, you don’t need that flavour that badly.

Handles periods the best too. Like he’s actually mature about it for the most part. Will 100% go out and buy you tampons or pads because like I said, he will do whatever you want. He’s also practically a human heater so he will lay down with you and cuddle you to help relieve some of the cramp pains. Can figure out when you’re PMSing too and will handle it well too. Like you’re literally just spazzing out in the middle of the kitchen and you’re yelling about something that happened 2 years ago, he he just pulls you into a hug and holds you there until your anger dies down a little bit, then he picks you up and tucks you into bed. Idk how it works, but it does. Every single time.

When it comes to gift giving he’s so subtle about it. Like he isn’t the type to do something extravagant and flashy for his s/o, but his gifts are still so thoughtful and considerate that you can’t help but blush at them. He’s observant and he notices the things you like, what you talk about more than other things, etc. He takes all that into account when he wants to buy you a gift and every year he never fails to melt your heart. It also makes him super giddy when he sees you wearing / displaying his gifts in your room or something. He is always so insecure when he actually hands you the gift though, but the look of joy on your face instantly washes his hesitance away.

Honestly you two are the coolest couple in the whole Cloud, like you’re just such a badass duo. Omoi and Karui love you two, Killer Bee loves you two, Cee and the Raikage too. It’s kind of funny just how invested the Raikage is, though. Definitely cries hysterically if you and Darui get into a fight, hes all like “no! You two are meant to be, this can’t be happening!” And Darui is like... sir it was a minor fight, we’re still together... Killer Bee has also definitely made a rap about you two or at least used you two for a line in his rap. It was pretty garbage, but it’s the thought that counts; plus you guys are so cool that the rap just automatically becomes cool too.

Darui constantly apologizes for things that aren’t his fault. You learn to get used to it, but it’s a little confusing at first. One night he came to your apartment all depressed looking and he’s like “y/n, I’m so sorry, but I have to tell you this now.” And you think his ass is cheating on you or something because of how solemn he looks so you’re bracing yourself for the worst, when in reality he just wants to postpone your date an hour or two because he has to help the Raikage with something. You just stare at him for a good five minutes because wtf why didn’t he just call you? Like why does he look so distressed over something as minor as that??

Your fights don’t last very long at all. He’s a reasonable and understanding person, so he doesn’t initiate fights very often. I feel like you guys only really fight when it comes down to spending too much time apart. Like he’s been too busy with being the Raikages second hand man and you’ve been occupied with missions and your own business, you two just miss each other and kind of end up getting frustrated with each other and eventually you guys snap. Like you can’t make the date on Friday and want to re schedule, but Friday’s the only day he can make it. Cue snappy comments and one of you hanging up the phone on the other. Daruis always the first one to apologize though, go figure.

You guys are also another badass duo when it comes to fighting, like he’s super observant of you and he knows your next move before you know it. If you’re a bit on the impulsive side he’ll lowkey get frustrated because he doesn’t want you to get hurt when it’s something he can prevent. Especially if you’re fighting together, like he doesn’t want that on his conscience. Like you will never stop hearing him apologize if you get injured when he could have prevented it. You constantly have to shut him up lol.

Honestly playing with his hair is the best, he actually likes when you try and take care of it too. Even if it doesn’t work out all the time because you can’t really tame it, he loves the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp anyway. So he’ll let you have your fun, but only you can touch it. His hair just feels so fucking nice too, like you have to refrain yourself from running your hands through his hair randomly. You definitely fluff it sometimes though.

He likes to be the big spoon when you two cuddle, but he doesn’t mind being the little one sometimes — only if you play with his hair though. Like just start running your hands through his hair and he’ll pass out just like that. Really likes when you lay your head on his chest and you just kind of sprawl yourself ontop of him. Sometimes he does that to you instead, especially after a long mission where he hasn’t seen you for a long time. He just lays his head on your chest and loves the feeling of your chest rising and falling gently as you sleep.

He is not that into pda, will wrap an arm around you or give you his jacket when you’re cold, but does not make out with you in public. If he’s feeling needy then he will simply pull you into an alley and kiss you there, but he’s pretty good at controlling himself and hardly ever needs to do that. Gives you occasional kisses on the cheek though, but absolutely no touching around the Raikage. Even if the Raikage literally doesn’t care. Darui just thinks it’s uncool.

You guys have super chill dates. Like just going out to dinner or hanging out at each others houses. The best dates are the spontaneous ones. Darui doesn’t do them all that often, but whenever there’s like a thunderstorm or a rainstorm outside, he will run to your place and you two will watch it together. Like just perch yourselves on the windowsill with a bunch of blankets and some snacks and you’re good to go. It’s kinda dangerous but both of your definitely fall asleep on the windowsill.

10/10 overall. Darui is so fucking cool he owns my ass.

[mst3kproject]

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Happy Holidays, MSTies!  Your present is Episodes that Never Were are back!  Remember last year, when I said Elves was so bad I wished I’d watched the Star Wars Holiday Special instead?  Let’s find out what those words taste like.

The galaxy may be in the midst of a rebellion, but Chewbacca promised his family he will be back for Life Day, and god damn it, he’s gonna get there!  He and Han Solo dodge Imperial forces and asteroid fields on the way, but the real danger may be waiting for them at home, as Stormtroopers do a treehouse-to-treehouse search for rebel sympathizers.  It won’t be much of a holiday if Chewie arrives home only to be immediately arrested!

That sounds exciting, doesn’t it?  It even sounds like it could be made to mean something. There is perhaps a point here about inter-ethnic empathy – Life Day may be a Wookiee holiday, but Chewbacca’s alien friends still know how important it is to him and they’re gonna help him keep his promise.  We could also compare it to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.  In that movie, the Martians want to celebrate Christmas but aren’t particularly interested in what it means.  They get all their information about it from pirated television and from children who don’t understand anything much more than ‘free stuff’.  We didn’t give Christmas to them, they literally stole it by kidnapping Santa.  In the Holiday Special, the Wookiees are sharing their cultural traditions with outsiders who have become part of their family – Leia’s speech at the ends notes the humans’ respect for this.

But none of that’s relevant, because this is just a bad 70’s variety hour in a Star Wars costume.  We don’t get to see claustrophobic scenes of our brave heroes hiding from the Storm Troopers.  We don’t get sweeping space battles or bickering robots or weird new planets… we don’t get anything we go to see Star Wars for.  Instead, we mostly watch the Wookiees sitting around their house passing the time as they wait helplessly for Chewbacca to get home.  This could have been neat in itself if Wookiees had an interesting culture, but they live in a Mod 70’s Treehouse and seem to spend most of their time watching television.  The brief opening sequence, in which Solo and Chewie outrun their pursuers in the Millennium Falcon, is just a tantalizing offer of chocolate on the tip of a giant turd.

The actual point of the show, as far as the people who produced it were concerned, was the various little musical numbers and comedy sequences along the way, some of which are more Star Wars-themed than others.  Most of these are presented as one or other of the characters watching them on some form of television, which often doesn’t make any sense.  The sequences themselves are usually not very well-presented and a lot of them are just downright boring, so let’s go through them one by one. Top up your eggnog, folks.  We may be here a while.

Our first setpiece is a holographic circus featuring jugglers and acrobats, which the adults use to distract Lumpy so he’ll stop bothering them – like parents at the mall letting their kids watch Paw Patrol on a tablet while they shop.  When you see televised circus acts, they’re usually filmed up close and at interesting angles, to heighten the sense of danger, and give you a good look at what’s going on.  The Star Wars Holiday Special presents it as tiny figures on a table, always shot from far away and looking down, which removes all the drama from the stunts.  Lumpy enlarges a figure, but it’s only the ringmaster.  The others remain tiny, all while this little Wookiee looms over them like a kaiju that will start stomping if it isn’t entertained.

Then we get Mark Hamill’s cameo (in which he looks weirdly like one of the puppets from Invaders from the Deep), followed by Malla’s attempt to cook Bantha Surprise by following the directions on a tv show.  I’m not very interested in cooking shows anyway, but I have a hard time imagining anybody being interested in a fake cooking show featuring fictional ingredients from other planets.  What we see on Malla’s screen comes across as a sort of parody, but not actually a funny one. I’m tempted to think Harvey Korman must have been making fun of some particular 70’s cooking show maven but I don’t begin to know who that might be.

The ‘humour’ of the sequence is supposed to come from Malla’s attempt to follow the directions even though the cook on the show has four arms and Malla only two.  I could pull some commentary on ableism in cooking and cooking shows out of this, but it would be a stretch, and nobody on the writing end was thinking about it that hard.  It’s just stupid, and so is Korman’s plastic wig.  Malla eventually turns it off in frustration, long after we’re tired of listening to it.

By the way, if you’re wondering whose stupid idea it was to set the whole thing on Kashyyyk (or, as a guy in the Special calls it, Kazook) and not have any subtitles to the Wookiee’s dialogue?  That was apparently 100% George Lucas.  The actual script and everything was in the hands of the television producers, but Lucas would not budge on the premise being Wookiee-centric.  At least he exorcised that particular demon here, instead of subjecting us to it on the big screen.

Anyway, next Art Carney drops by to deliver some Life Day presents, among which is the source of our next setpiece: a VR machine which reads Itchy’s mind to present a personalized fantasy!  This takes the form of Diahann Carroll in a sparkly feather wig, singing a song and saying things like “I am your fantasy, experience me!”  The song is okay, I guess, and Carroll has a lovely voice, but what we’re seeing is basically a boring music video.  She’s just standing there on a glittery black background, and we can’t forget that she’s singing to a geriatric Wookiee who is doing the Wookiee equivalent of jacking off to this (emphasized by the appearance of literal little swimmers in part of the sequence!).  The fact that it’s a personal fantasy plucked from his subconscious makes it feel like this was something we weren’t supposed to be privy to, like we’re looking through somebody else’s computer at his girlfriend’s nudes.

Princess Leia (also looking disturbingly puppet-like… are we sure the actual actors appeared in this, and not look-a-likes in heavy makeup?) and C3P0 get their cameo, and then there’s the single actually effective moment in the Special.  This is when we think Han Solo and Chewie are about to arrive home, ending our torment a full hour early, but no, it’s the Storm Troopers!  This bit isn’t fantastic, but it does work.  Then, sadly, we’re on to the next variety act.

This is a holographic music video which Carney shows to the Imperial troops as a demonstration that the device he has brought Malla for Life Day is harmless.  It’s Jefferson Starship moaning out a rock song, in which I can understand at best one word in three.  The visuals are in intense soft-focus that’s probably supposed to be artsy.  The costumes (what I can see of them) aren’t any more Star-Wars-y than anything else bands wore in the 70’s.  And the song sounds like something you’d find in the ‘easy’ setting on Rock Band.  Why does Black Helmet sit there and watch the whole thing when he’s supposed to be searching every house on Kashyyyk/Kazook for rebel sympathizers?

The version of the Special currently available on YouTube, which tragically lacks the commercials, has a lot of comments along the lines of this is what you hallucinate after buying Death Sticks from that guy on Coruscant.

To drive the point home, the next thing we see is Lumpy watching a cartoon about Han Solo and Chewbacca crash-landing on an ocean planet while searching for a mystical talisman that makes things invisible (I wish they hadn’t actually shown this object – then I could have made jokes about it being the One Ring).  This sequence is generally regarded as the best thing in the Special, and it introduced Boba Fett and provided some characterization for him.  It is definitely true that this is the only segment with a plot, and with its weird aliens and grubby outposts it feels a lot more like Star Wars than anything else going on here.

The main thing that keeps me from enjoying this segment is that it just looks weird.  The animators use exaggerated squash-and-stretch on the droids, even more so than on the living characters, which makes them look like they’re made out of jell-o. Princess Leia looks like something out of a cheap 60’s manga and Luke like he was drawn by a twelve-year-old based on an action figure that wasn’t actually of Luke Skywalker.  Luke has no pupils, which is very distressing, but not as distressing as when C3P0 blinks.  Even worse, as far as I can tell Han Solo has no eyes at all.

The design of the alien planet in this sequence is pretty cool, though.  It appears to be entirely covered in a kind of goopy ocean and the creatures that live in it are neat-looking, even if not terribly plausible.  Animation is really a great medium for fantasy and science fiction, because it levels the playing field: we’re not thinking about the special effects because everything on screen looks equally unreal.  This is something Disney, who used it to such beautiful effect in Lilo and Stitch, totally forgot at just about the same time as they acquired the rights to Star Wars.  Oh, for what could have been.

I want to note here that the average review on this blog is about as long as what you’ve read so far.  We’re only about two thirds of the way through the Special, though, and I can’t really divide a holiday review up into two weeks.  Therefore, consider this your permission to take a break and go snag another latke or whatever you’re snacking on, and then we’ll continue.

There’s one fun bit of background social commentary in the animated sequence, too: the only way for humans to survive the virus is to hang them upside-down so their brains will get enough oxygen despite their weakened hearts.  In the city there’s an advertisement for the cure – and the upside-down human pictured in the ad is, of course, a woman in her underwear.  The image isn’t detailed and it’s not the focus of the shot, so I don’t think it’s an actual piece of gratuitous cheesecake.  Apparently somebody at Nelvana Ltd was just salty about the advertising industry.

The self-contained story in the cartoon makes sense within itself. It justifies Fett’s fearsome reputation far better than anything in The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi, and the characters seem to be in-character even when they’re off-model.  The problem is with it as a part of the framing story about the Imperial troops searching Chewbacca’s house!  The Special is very explicit that this is not something that’s actually happening in the real world at the same time as the other events – it is a cartoon Lumpy is watching on TV.  Why, in a galaxy controlled by the Empire, would there be cartoons using the real names of real rebel operatives and presenting them as the heroes?  If nobody’s supposed to know Boba Fett is connected with the Empire, why does the show blow his cover?

More importantly, where can I get one of those awesome giant stuffed Banthas Lumpy has in his room?  I don’t know if that’s a real toy that was available in the late 70’s, but Comic Images does make something similar and you can buy them at Wal-Mart or Toys R Us.

While cleaning up the mess the Stormtroopers made of his room, Lumpy watches an instructional video of how to put together some kind of radio. This features Harvey Korman as an android who keeps getting jammed.  Like cooking shows, instructional videos aren’t very interesting unless you’re trying to follow the directions – since we can’t follow the directions, this one is pointless to begin with.  The ‘joke’ is not funny, and lines like “every one of the ten thousand terminals on your circuit breaker module is a different colour” might be amusing when written down but they just don’t work when somebody says them aloud.  Fortunately, it doesn’t last long.

Then we get on to what’s probably the second-best thing in the Special, the bit where we learn that the Mos Eisley cantina is owned by Bea Arthur.  It would be easily the most expensive thing in the Special were it not made up of b-roll footage and re-used puppets from Episode IV.  It’s also kind of got a plot, in that a guy with a baking soda volcano on top of his head (this is certainly an efficient way to get the alcohol directly to your brain) is trying to confess his love to Bea while she just wants to get on with running her business.  Eventually he gets his heart broken and leaves, and then the Empire shuts the bar down, so Bea throws everybody out with a song.

I have to admit, in The Force Awakens when Han Solo mentioned a female friend who ran a ‘watering hole’… there was a moment there when I was half-expecting it to be Bea Arthur’s character.  I’m relieved that it wasn’t, but also just the slightest bit disappointed.  We had to wait for The Mandalorian to get a proper Holiday Special callback.

This bit almost had a chance to say something with its ‘thwarted romance’ plot.  Usually such a thing in a tv show would get what the male character would consider a happy ending.  He would prove to his love interest that being cared for is important, she would realize that love is better than money, and they would metaphorically ride off into the sunset.  What it looks like we’re going to get here instead is something more like the episode of South Park where Butters fell in love with the Hooters waitress. Harvey Korman’s character (yes, he plays three different characters in this Special and this was apparently supposed to be a selling point) realizes his crush is based on a misunderstanding, and while it makes him sad, he’s not going to be an asshole about it.

Nor is Bea’s character vilified for rejecting him, which she does tactfully but firmly, as if she’s gone through this many times before. He’s just a minor annoyance in her day before she goes on to worry about bigger problems, like getting everybody to obey that Imperial curfew.  Then, however, at the last second he pops up from behind the counter after everybody has left – and that’s where the segment ends.  I think we’re supposed to assume they got together after all, but I kind of hope she just threw him out with the rest of them.  No means no, damn it.

Bea Arthur’s Go Home Song is to the tune the Cantina Band was playing in Episode IV, so it pretty much goes without saying it’s the catchiest piece in the Special.

Then, finally, it’s time to celebrate Life Day!  The Wookiees hold up some glowing Christmas balls, then dress in red robes and walk through outer space into a, uh, wormhole, I guess, that takes them to the base of the giant tree from Avatar.  There it’s time for our final setpiece, the culmination of this whole ninety-minute ordeal… Princess Leia sings!  The Life Day Carol is to the tune of the main Star Wars theme, and the lyrics sound like something from a generic Christmas album you get free if you buy three cards at Hallmark.  Carrie Fisher is a decent singer but she looks like she’s as glad this is over as we are.

Much like Howard the Duck, The Star Wars Holiday Special is a production in which they made all the worst decisions they possibly could.  Focusing on the Wookiees at home rather than following Han Solo and Chewbacca through the action killed the whole thing at the starting gate.  Then that plot is nothing but a frame on which they can hang the various variety acts, and none of those are very good.  It’s only towards the end of the sequence that what we’re seeing even has anything to do with Star Wars.  Watching it is an ordeal on the order of an un-riffed Coleman Francis film.  It’s so bad, it’s not even something people get together and watch like they do Manos or The Room.

So why do we still have it?  The Holiday Special was only broadcast once, and was met by fathomless loathing from critics, Star Wars fans, and ordinary people alike. It has never been released in any other format (Andrew Borntreger of badmovies.org has a story about how Lucas had him thrown out of a Q&A panel for asking if it were getting a DVD release), so the fact that you can find it on YouTube today is down to some nameless hero who recorded it on their newfangled VCR back in 1978.  That person then showed it to friends, apparently on the basis of oh my god, you guys, this is so bad, you have to see it, and then because misery loves company they copied it to show to their friends. What we have today is copies of copies of copies of copies, like fragments of Sappho only with VHS artefacts instead of holes in the papyrus (and without the artistic vision).

Humans like to preserve remarkable things.  Sappho we’ve preserved because it’s remarkably good, but the Star Wars Holiday Special we preserve because it’s remarkably bad.  Lucasfilm has tried very hard to stamp it out.  George Lucas himself has said that if he could he would gather up every copy that exists and smash them with a sledgehammer… but we won’t let him do it. We keep copying the Special and passing it along, in a way that’s very familiar to MSTies in particular.  We’re circulating the tapes!  Why this tape in particular?

I don’t claim to know, but my working theory is that it keeps us humble.  We are a species that can produce great things when we put our minds to it.  We landed on the moon.  We eradicated smallpox.  We built the Taj Mahal and the Sagrada Familia.  We wrote The Romance of the Three Kingdoms and the Einstein Field Equations and the aforementioned works of Sappho.  But for all that, we are also capable of throwing the same kind of effort into creating utter disasters – and the Star Wars Holiday Special is the rare example of an unmitigated disaster that didn’t actually hurt anybody.  It reminds us to take a step back and look at what we’re doing without getting too invested in it, but does so while being harmless and at times humorous.

Would I still rather watch this than Elves?  You bet your shaggy Wookiee ass I would.  The Star Wars Holiday Special may be longer, but it doesn’t leave nearly such a bad taste in my mouth.

I will leave you with this: the Special was, as I mentioned, only broadcast once, in 1978 – that means its signal is now forty-one light years from Earth and still going.  There are several hundred stars within that bubble, around two dozen of which are known to have planets.  Somewhere out there, aliens might be getting their first signal from humanity right now and it’s the Star Wars Holiday Special.

[universal-kitty]

.: Day 1 - F/O February :.

Reverse Self-Ship: You are your F/O’s F/O!!

I’m from a video game series akin to an odd mix of Watch_Dogs and Grand Theft Auto. Things can get a little pervy, hijacking cars is involved, stealth and adventure abound...but so is a bunch of ridiculous, silly things, like a petting minigame that triggers randomly when interacting with my cat.

There’s a single-player mode focused on my background and meeting up with past friends or exes...and is story-based, allowing you to attack and kill them, befriend them again... All sorts of stuff.

Also, the option to adopt more cats and become a crazy cat lady...in spirit.

Shit, romance people if you want! Live life!

Marcus got Wrench (Reggie) the game as a birthday gift. It was mostly a joke, because Reg REALLY thought he wouldn��t like it....and what else do best friends do but give their bffs prank gifts?

Still, Marcus bought it for him new... So Reg boots it up and gives it a chance, anyways.

......holy shit, he actually likes this WAY more than he first thought he would.

First of all, he HATES animals; every one he’s ever met seems to hate him and hurt him, so he’s turned his back on animalkind. However, throughout the game, I’m NOTHING but kind to every animal and suspicious of every person I meet.... Some of which he understands completely. There are some ASSHOLES in this game!!

Also, the way I croon to my cat and get into baby talk... It’s so damn cute to him. Really makes him feel some kinda way, which he flushes over. (Haha, wow that’s embarrassing.)

The point is, he ends up hating animals a little less and starts loving cats a LOT more.

Actually had to put down the controller and walk away from the game when doing a dancing minigame. He could barely focus on the button commands with how cute I was being while doing the dances.

Proceeds to look up people who 100% the dances just so he can save them to his phone. Watch them whenever he wants.

Later deletes them, 100%s them on his own, and THEN saves them onto his phone. Is a lot more happy with them, cause they’re HIS gameplay videos and not someone else’s.

LOVES messing around with outfits. Someone on the staff was either a big fan of cats or just...made that my most out-there personality trait (second only to the games and show in my world that are obviously knock-offs of real-world games), but he’s not complaining. Running around in cat ears and a cat tail? So damn cute.

His personal favorites are the masks I have combined with the matching jackets; it makes me feel more relatable to him...but he’s a greedy man and always eventually takes them off so he can look at my face.

Has SO MANY PICTURES on Facebook of him playing this damn game. Marcus kinda thought he was pranking at first, but now the whole squad knows Reg is a bit of an addict.

They got him the other games on Christmas and he cried. Everyone was....kinda in awe.

Josh got him a t-shirt with my character on it that reads “Bee Paw-sitive~!” on it. He wears it a LOT.

He definitely started up a collection that rivaled....basically no one else in the fandom.

HATES seeing the fandom pairings. And since you can romance anyone due to my sexuality canonly being Panromantic...it’s frustrating.

(Well, he’s Bi, so some of the people he wouldn’t mind sharing with, yeah....but he’s specifically venomous over the people he’s SURE are my friends only. Or are/were super toxic to me in my past. So, so bitter that anyone likes those ships, but holds his tongue only bc he got a figurine of me doing some cutesy pose next to his monitor. It helps him keep his head.)

Literally has a savings account reserved for merchandise. If it exists, he wants to buy it. If it doesn’t, but someone’s commissions are open? He’s gonna buy it.

Has bought art, jumped on art-trades/requests to get MORE art of us together. Has two plushies of me, as well as a body pillow. Continues to seek more things.

Is honestly upset that my size is medium (and so he can’t wear my canonly fitted clothes), BUT that doesn’t stop him from owning a single shirt in my size AND getting items that mimic my wardrobe.

He likes to imagine we can match together....or I can wear HIS version of my fave shirts when mine are dirty~!

Is still debating getting a kitten. Until that day, cat plushes are among the only other plushes he has (aside from mine).

Weird as he felt about it, he later admitted to his friends that he....kinda felt romantically towards me? And was thinking about just being fictoromantic...

Josh was the first one to see no problem with it and fast. People can be hard to work with, so... You do you. (Reg then felt bad about bullying him so much....oop.)

Horatio was also quickly on board. “Hey man, they make you happy. If it helps, it helps.”

Marcus....was a little more confused, but got in the spirit of it, regardless. “man, if I knew you would’ve actually liked it, I woulda got it for you a lot sooner!! Have fun, man.”

Sitara doesn’t quite get it, but.... It sure explains why Reg kept pestering her to tag “Purrfect Anarchy” in certain places and commissioning her for stylized art of him with them.

T-Bone....kinda harasses him about it, but the group stands by Reg. Josh is pretty upset about it, though.

He also follows every piece of news and publicly shares it, after admitting to being ficto. LOTS more pictures like, “Cutie’s got good taste.” [selfie with him sticking out his tongue and wearing one of the replica shirts] “Dinner date with bae!” [screenshot of me looking at the screen of his laptop, dinner and candlelight between us]

Everyone rolled with it more and more over time, so now it’s entirely not uncommon for them to bribe Reg to do things by dragging me into it...

Sitara: Hey, you leaving? Wrench: ...yeah, why? Sitara: Can you get me a coffee while you’re out? Wrench: Wh-? Why should I get you-? Sitara: I bet Rachel would like you doing something like that, y’know. Wrench: .....That’s cruel. You’re cruel. Sitara: I know~! You know how I like it, thank you, and Rachel loves you. Wrench: [sputters audibly and shuffles out the door, muttering to himself, embarrassed]

They don’t do a LOT of crimes anymore, but... Definitely still fuck shit up w/ cops. Reg daydreams a shitton about a masked romance and the anarchy we could commit together... After all, I helped him be braver. So he could help me, too, and then..... So much glorious chaos. Maybe makeouts in his car...

Was literally the type to not give a SHIT about marriage or kids, but now nonstop thinks about our lives together. Anarchy and domestic lifestyle shit can coexist, right? We can be married, have our cute lil’ two story (three, if you count the attic AND a basement), and some kids.....and also go create anarchy and throw bricks at cop cars and cause so much damn trouble..... Right?

He’ll even get a CAT for our home. It’ll be our first kid and not only will he be SO COOL, but they’ll name her (yes, a girl) Princess Leia and I’ll probably cry in happiness!!

Reg is DETERMINED to be the best husband/boyfriend ever. Doesn’t matter which, cause whatever speed I’d like to go at? Hell yeah, he’s down for it. Just as long as he can still hold my hand and gush over how cute I am and-

Has gushed about me and my series before and WILL do so again, prompted or not.

Actually participated in the fandom a little. Mostly does reblogs and such, but has written a few stories (self-inserts are the majority), done some not too shabby art, and prides himself on being the BIGGEST fan of the series with all the merch he has AND commissions bought.

Made a select few friends who also are fans, but... Is constantly anxious about his self-shipping. Either that they might eventually think he’s weird, send more anon hate (he’s gotten some in the past for “being a creep”), or- worst yet- also self-ship with me and he’s still dealing with that idea.

Until then, he’s got a wedding ring he bought cheap at the jewelry section of some store, so.... Coping skills, babey.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

CYBERVERSE WATCH

S3 Episode 9, 10, 11, 12

Episode 9

WHIRL NO WHY IS EVERYONE RUNNING oh

Gosh I love that Percy’s alt-mode sucks so he’s gotta hitch a ride on someone

Whirl *gracefully descends from the ceiling* Percy: *PLUMMETS LIKE A ROCK*

No joke I laughed so suddenly and loud at that I startled myself

RODDY PLEASE RETHINK YOUR DECISION TO USE A WAR TITAN TO FIGHT YOUR BATTLES IM BEGGING YOU TO USE YOUR BRAINCELL

Whirl *jumps directly on the Titan’s face*  Me: I’d die for you

Roddy: We need Windblade! Me: YEAH YOU NEED SOMEONE SMART ON THIS TEAM

Ok putting the masks on their head to hide from the Quints is actually a smart idea

“I can’t believe that worked” GUYS PLS

Aw I love that Clobber and Roddy do their little fist bump / high-five thing that’s so cute

CHROMIA AND WINDBLADE....Roddy you’re interrupting their date

Roddy: Clobber, you’re a lesbian, can you get through to them Clobber: Sure *picks up Chromia in one hand and walks off*

I feel like the smart thing for them to do would be to wake up Megatron and/or Optimus and use them to wake up other Autobots / Decepticons because like. If I was an Autobot and Megatron wandered by at a parade I’d definitely be on defense. Of course, then Roddy & co. would need to convince Megatron to help them so maybe that’s a no-go anyways

WHIRL NO!!! OH NO

AW I love that everyone’s taking care of Percy, Dead End holding his hand while running was so cute

HELL YEAH USE YOUR FIRE RODDY

HOT ROD NO!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE SAVE MY BOY!! AND WHIRL, WHO ALSO GOT HI--OH MY GOSH THEY KNOCKED THE THING OFF SOUNDWAVE AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

IF ANYONE CAN TAKE DOWN THE QUINTS AND WAKE EVERYONE UP ITS MY BOY SOUNDWAVE I mean, assuming ripping the helmet off his head rather than waking him up normally didn’t totally screw him up

AHHH SOMEONE NEEDS TO SAVE RODDY

WHOA SOUNDWAVE YOU GOOD BUDDY??? OH NO....

“Something’s wrong with him...” “You mean more than normal?” SHUT UP DEADEND

LMAO HOT ROD STRAIGHT UP SLAPPED A QUINTESSON NICE

OH NO IM GETTING FLASHBACKS TO THE MOVIE

COURT!?!??? PLEASE SAY YOUR FAMOUS LINE RODDY

HEY CAN YOU GUYS STOP BEING BUTTS TO SOUNDWAVE

“There are an infinite amount of universes in the multiverse. The Quintessons judge which ones are worthy of existence” NICE NICE NICE NICE OMINOUS AND NICE

ARE WE GONNA GET TO SEE OTHER UNIVERSES???

WHOA WAIT WHAT SCIENTIST, MACCADAM WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

IS THIS GONNA BE THE CREEPY WHEELJACK WE SAW IN LIKE EPISODE 3 OF SEASON ONE???

You know I’m realizing the Titan thing doesn’t explain how Maccadam knows about the future, is HE from a different universe / future?? Has he already seen all of this happen before? Is HE the true Homura of this series?

RODIMUS STALLING TO ANNOY THE COURT NICE

Every time Roddy uses his flames I lose my mind in excitement

HEY DEADEND STOP BEING A BUTT TO SOUNDWAVE

HELL YEAH RIP ‘EM A NEW ONE SOUNDWAVE, SHOW THEM WHO’S BOSS

HEY CAN SOMEONE *PLEASE* SAVE HOT ROD

UH OH IS RIGHT RODDY

“I wish I was a jet” He’s not gonna jump is OH HE JUMPED

OH THANK GOODNESS WHIRL WAS THERE, THANK YOU WHIRL FOR BEING AWESOME

SOUNDWAVE!!!!!!!!!!!

 Episode 10

I saw Soundwave in the thumbnail and got UNREASONABLY excited

AHHHHHHHHHHH IS THIS GONNA BE THE RODDY AND SOUNDWAVE EPISODE I HEARD ABOUT?!?!??! PLEASE??? PLEASE???

Hot Rod is the ONLY bot who could appreciate Soundwave’s background music PLEASE let them get along or at least be amicable by the end of the episode that would be so frickin good

“The Masters of the Multiverse” man what a good title

I’m so glad Season 3 has been so Hot Rod=focused, HE DESERVES THE SPOTLIGHT

lmao I love that Soundwave and Roddy are both crossing their arms on opposite sides of the bar, guys please you’ve got bigger fish to fry

This is embarrassing but I was legitimately so distracted by how nice Soundwave’s legs looked in this scene I didn’t hear a single thing Roddy said and I had to rewind the episode l m a o.....

Soundwave: I know you’re no Optimus Prime Me: *MORTIFIED GASP* THAT’S A SORE SUBJECT DON’T BE MEAN!!!

SOUNDWAVE NO!!! NO FIGHTING

I KNEW IT I knew he was improperly removed!!!

THEY FRICKIN SLAPPED HIM ON THE CHEST TO FIX HIM LIKE HE”S AN OLD TV IM CACKLING

OH SHOOT they already tried doing something similar to Hound oof

SOUNDWAVE AT LEAST SHARE WHAT THE PLAN IS

OH SHOOT SOUNDWAVE GETS THINGS DONE

I can’t believe they came up with names / jobs for these things

Aw Roddy I’m sorry Soundwave’s overshadowing your leadership role :(

“Maybe they’re trading beauty secrets” DEADEND PLEASE

I hope Soundwave didn’t tell her to kill him

OH NO HE DID, CLOBBER NO

Clobber: *crying while trying to kill him* This hurts me more than it hurts you! Hot Rod: No, this hurts me more GUYS PLEASE

I briefly forgot DeadEnd was a Decepticon and was like “Wow you’re not worrying about Roddy getting his head beat in?? Really??”

Gosh Soundwave looks so cool

“The evil back-stabbing music box” omg

Hot Rod: That’s not how Autobots do things Dead End: Yeah but like, we aren’t. So can we kill him

SOUNDWAVE’S INTERROGATION STUFF IS SO COOL I mean it’s mean but that’s an interesting method

AHH HE SAID THE INFERIOR SUPERIOR THING

Who IS the scientist

Uh. ok what is that brain thing. I WAS ASSUMING THE SCIENTIST WAS A BOT BUT GUESS NOT

Episode 11

Gosh the backgrounds in this show are such a delight for the eyes

*GENTLE GASP* BABIES!!!!!!!! ARE ANY OF THEM SOUNDWAVE’S BABIES???

AW OMG SOUNDWAVE IS THERE HE’S CATCHING A CASSETTE OMG OMG.....OH MY GOSH....THERE ARE REAL TEARS IN MY EYES

But at the same time SOUNDWAVE YOU CANT JUST FRICKIN NAB A BIRD OUT OF THE AIR AND CALL IT YOURS

Oh well I guess he can lmao alrighty then

OH NO....BOTS ARE DYING....GUYS YOU’RE TAKING TOO LONG TO DO THIS

how on EARTH did that work

OHOHO just Hot Rod and Soundwave I hope they learn to trust each other a bit

I’m VERY worried they’re gonna kill off Laserbeak in this episode

ALRIGHT. WELL. THAT SCIENTIST ISNT FREAKY AT ALL.

OK SUPER FREAKY HE’S WAY TOO INTERESTED IN SOUNDWAVE FOR ME TO NOT BE WORRIED ABOUT THIS HE SOUNDS LIKE A CREEPY COLLECTOR

‘‘A blue one...I don’t have a blue one yet’‘ UH OH UH OH!!!! OH PLEASE DONT HURT SOUNDWAVE CYBERVERSE WRITERS PLEASE!!!

DOES SOUNDWAVE KNOW THIS DUDE??? HOW ELSE DID SOUNDWAVE KNOW WHAT WOULD OPEN THE DOOR???

The fact that we can now SEE Laserbeak in his chest makes me worry we’re gonna lose her this episode 8(((

WHAT THE FRICK

ARE THESE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF SOUNDWAVE FROM DIFFERENT UNIVERSES??? ARE THESE JUST DIFFERENT BOTS THAT SHARE SOUNDWAVE’S ALT MODE???? IM SO DEEPLY WORRIED

“Why would he collect Soundwaves and not Hot Rods?” RODDY PLEASE THIS IS NOT THE TIME!!!!! That’s a very Hot Rod thing to focus on though lmao

I feel like the Cyberverse writers went “Hm, what would make Ana feel most anxious about her favorite character?” and then proceeded to write this episode exactly about that

Like, on the one hand: Good taste weird tentacle alien dude, on the other, GET YOUR MITTS OFF HIM

“When a judge finds a universe guilty, I like to keep a little...souvenir for myself” WOW THAT’S HALF WHAT I GUESSED BUT HE SAID THAT INFINITELY CREEPIER THAN I THOUGHT HE WOULD

HOT ROD PLEASE SAVE HIM FROM THE WEIRD TENTACLE MAN

I love how this team has exactly one braincell and none of the people currently on the other side of the door are in possession of it

“I keep telling myself I don’t have room for any more, but you would go so nicely right here” me @ me when I’m buying figurines tbh

That’s genuinely so upsetting, like if I were in Soundwave’s place I’d be pissed as HELL

OH BOY ARE WE GONNA HAVE A TOYSTORY 2 SCENARIO wrt THE “You’re damaged!” THING

“I’LL SHOW YOU DAMAGED” LMAO Roddy: *starts listing off all his traumas* Tentacle Dr.: Um,,

LET GO OF MY BOY!!!!

“A parade is the best you can come up with?” ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS RODDY

HELL YEAH GET HIM SOUNDWAVE and thank goodness he got fixed. Hopefully the guy didn’t do anything weird to him

I KNEW THAT WAS TOO EASY WHY IS THIS DUDE SO FREAKY

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT”S FEEDING TIME

EW WHAT’S IN THERE

IM GONNA LEGITIMATELY CRY IF THEY KILL LASERBEAK PLEASE DONT KILL HIS BIRD

Why do the words “Laserbeak! Eject!” get me so emotional WHY AM I SO HEAD OVER HEELS FOR THIS CASSETTE TAPE AND BOOM BOX

DONT SHOOT LASERBEAK PLEASE

Ironic for Whirl to be the one to say “hold your fire”

Wow way to abandon Hot Rod and Soundwave

uH OH UH OH UH OH

Off-topic but tentacle dude’s voice sounds SO familiar I just can’t place it it’s a really good fit

OH SHOOT THEY”RE DRAINING THE ALL SPARK TOO

DO IT PERCY SAVE EVERYONE!!!!

Perceptor you are ADORABLE

PERCY YOU GOTTA SAY AUTOBOTS ROLL OUT

THERE WE GO OPTIMUS

Oh boy let’s see how Megatron reacts to Clobber interrupting him

Percy should just summon a hologram of Optimus, that would do it

YEAHHH THEY FREED EVERYONE!!!

DO IT GUYS!!! HEAT AND SOUND!!!!

CHROMIA!!! :D

FIST BUMP!!!!!

AND LASERBEAK IS OK!!!!

Uh oh spaghettio that doesn’t seem good

OH WOW YOU’RE REALLY GONNA END THE EPISODE THERE??? HECK I FORGET HOW SHORT THESE ARE

Not to sound predictable but I think that was the most interesting episodes of the season so far

Episode 12

Aw man the judge is still alive heck

MY BOYS!!! MY BOYS IN ONE ROOM TALKING TOGETHER AND NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER!!!

Optimus: We will work together to stop this Megatron: *half-hearted grumble of assent*

Bee please don’t reignite the war by bumping into people

LMAO WHY’S IT SOUND LIKE OPTIMUS JUST ASKED MEGATRON TO MARRY HIM

I love this they’re both like “frick this is so uncomfortable”

MEGATRON COME ON

HELL YEAH YOU TELL EM SOUNDWAVE nice teamwork!!!

KUP!!!! AND STRIKA!!!

LMAO THEY SHOVED THEM IN THE TRAINING SIM guys pls. I mean good effort but

Man can I just say it’s so nice seeing these two (especially Soundwave, the world’s most under-valued Decepticon ever) become respected leaders while getting time in the spotlight? I LOVE that!!!!

I should redraw this screenshot sometime

Bee and Arcee and Shadow Striker and Lockdown!! Such a good combo

OH MY GOSH HE SERIOUSLY DID A TOUCH REFERENCE

AHHHHHH SOUNDWAVE BACKED HIM UP WITH MUSIC, I KNEW THEY’D GET ALONG!!!! SALING YOU WERE SO RIGHT AHHHHH

I’D DIE FOR YOU TWO!!!!!!!!!!

TEAM SOUNDWAVE AND HOT ROD: THE ULTIMATE CAPTAINS!!!!

SKYWARP!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

Life-or-death video games really do build friendships

WINDBLADE!!! :D

Aw man are you guys still really gonna wake up this Titan

Windblade: Did you guys ask Maccadam about this first Hot Rod: Oh absolutely he definitely said yes don’t worry about it Windblade: You sure? This dude seems like. Super evil Hot Rod: Nah it’ll be fine don’t even worry about it

THANK YOU RODDY for being the voice of reason for once

Maccadam: Now isn’t the time for this Titan, we need to save that for the season finale

Can’t believe they’re really dragging a bomb through the city

Ok so like. Where is Megatron during all of this. Are you seriously gonna sulk and miss this whole battle Megatron

Arcee with her machine gun is SO cute

Someone please shoot this shark dude and shut him up

AW THEY BROKE ARCEE’S MACHINE GUN :(

GET ‘IM WINDBLADE!!!

HEY MEGATRON OPTIMUS COULD REALLY USE A HAND HERE COME ON

WHOOPS so much for the bomb

OH AND EVERYONE ELSE I GUESS?? FORGOT THAT THE BOMB WOULD PROBABLY HIT THEM

WINDBLADE PLEASE BE CAREFUL

BEE FALLING AND RODDY IMMEDIATELY DROPPING DOWN TO SHIELD HIM, OH MAN THAT GOT ME HURTING SOMETHING FIERCE

HERE COMES IACONUS AND WINDBLADE

Man I hope we get to see Windblade and Starscream duke it out with Titans

THANK YOU FOR SAVING HER MACCADAM I WAS SO WORRIED

“I’ve lost too many cityspeakers this way” OH WOW THAT CONFESSION ACTUALLY LEGIT HURT....Mac how many times have city speakers tried controlling Iaconus? How many people have you seen die apart from the citizens of Iacon?

AW MAN BUMMER PLACE TO END IT ok let’s do a few more episodes after a quick break (I’m still SCREAMING over that Soundwave episode)