Tumgik
#went all out on this and loved every second of it <3
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Hi! I enjoy your stories very much. As a shy person myself wanting to push myself out of a shell I am curious if you've always been naturally good at meeting people, or do you get social anxiety too? Sorry if this is a super random/personal question. I appreciate you!
I used to get REALLY bad social anxiety but then I accidentally threw myself off the deep end on the first night of college when I heard people assembling furniture out in the hall and thought "If I do not get up right this second and go hang out with those people I'm going to lie here crying about how much I miss my family all night and they wouldn't want that."
So I went out in the hall and said "Hi! I'm [Gallus], and I thought I should meet people instead of being a miserable wreck in my room!"
And then we spent the rest of the night assembling dorm furniture, talking about weeb shit and generally having a good time! and every single time I've gone and introduced myself to someone since then, I've either made MORE friends and had a good time, or had, at worst, a perfectly neutral time. So that positive re-enforcement really helped.
Anyway, the three Guidlines to Meeting People:
Meet people at places they expect to meet people. People do not want to make friends when they are busy with something else- see how much we hate it when people come to the door when we were working or cleaning. But when they're at somewhere they expect to socialize like a Hobby Meeting, a convention, The Club? they're THRILLED to make friends and tbh probably glad you broke the ice. Go to places where people who share interests with you are meeting. They'll probably adopt you.
2. The Worst Thing that will happen is that you will lightly confuse someone. No for real. Nobody is going to scream at you and you're not going to terrorize someone by saying hi. It's fine.
3. Sample conversation script for those of us who have brains that make us act like we're in a movie:
*Be At Place to Meet People* *See someone who looks interesting to talk to, who is not actively doing a physical task or already having a conversation* You: Hello! I love your (Physical aspect of their appearance they chose: Hair color, lobster-themed dress/Dog/Orbital mechanics tattoo)!" Them: Oh, thanks! It (single sentence of explanation: I did it myself/It has pockets/He loves people/I got it for completing my thesis!) (this is a sign that they are open to social activity) You: That's so cool! I'm (you name), and I'm new here. You seem like cool people, can I hang out with you? Them, and I actually for real swear this will be the answer 90% of the time: Sure!
Congratulations! You have introduced yourself to someone. Continue to be a huge dweeb about the thing you have a mutual interest in and you will shortly have a new friend!
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darnell-la · 3 days
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I can't stop thinking about how Logan would be like "yeah those boys are not enough for you you need a man like me to take care of you" pleeeese do a story based on that <3 Love you guys works btw
note: Logan Howlett is an eater.
———
Logan had originally come to y/n’s apartment to drop off dinner. Wade had told him she hadn’t been eating proper food because of her study hours, so he cooked and packed it, ready to foul her up.
When he arrived, he heard noises from the young woman’s room. Two voice. Hers and someone else’s. A man’s. A boy.
He held himself together, understanding that she was young and experimenting. At least she better be. She shouldn’t be dating right now. He won’t allow it.
The man went to turn around and leave, maybe come back in an hour, but he heard a moan. Her moan. “Fuck no,” the man said, changing his mind about experimenting after he heard her with another man.
“Y/n!” The man knocked on the door hard, making the two jump in the bed. “Fuck, that’s Logan — M-My friend’s friend. My friend. J-Just get dressed,” y/n got up quick as well as the boy.
“Goddamnit,” he cussed, angry that he didn’t get to finish after touching y/n for the longest to get her wet. “Can you just like shoo him away or somethin? I’m fucking hard,” the boy said.
“I can’t, he’s like family. And he wouldn’t leave anyway,” she said, making the boy roll her eyes. “Get him outta here or I ain’t comin’ back,” the boy said, making her roll her eyes, but she was also horny now. She needed something.
Y/n cracked the door, hoping to talk with Logan for a quick second before sending him off, but he pushed open the door, causing Y/n to fall back.
“You ain’t comin’ back. Get the fuck out,” Logan snapped at the boy. His attitude was unacceptable. Even his appearance in her room was unacceptable.
“Dude, get out of here — We just got-“ Before he could say anything, Logan grabbed the boy by his collar and pulled him out of her room. “Don’t come back, or you’ll regret it,”
Logan shut the door and then turned to look at y/n who was embarrassed. “Logan, I-“ she went to say but he cut her off. “You what? Fuck boys during your study time?”
“What!? No, I- I mean — Logan, why are you here?” She asked, trying to switch the conversation which made him chuckle. “To give you dinner that you never have time to eat. Now I see why,”
Y/n felt bad. Now Logan knew she didn’t show up on Friday nights because she was fucking some random boy.
“You ditch family for a boy that can’t respect you? Let alone, properly make you wet!?” The man asked, shocking y/n. “H-He does make me wet,” y/n said, not knowing why she would tell Logan that. She just felt defensive.
“Oh, really? You know I can smell ya, Bub. Right?” Logan asked the young lady as he placed her dinner down on a desk before walking towards her. “And you’re already all dried up,”
“Logan that’s- That’s very inappropriate,” she said as she backed up, the back of her legs hitting her bed. “Is it? Then I must be a nasty son of a bitch, because I smell for you every time I’m around you,”
Y/n didn’t know how that got her on her bed, spread open for him, but she was, legs spread and cunt leaking as he stuffed his face in between her legs.
“So fuckin’ tasty. Gotta lick that son of a bitch off of you,” Logan groaned onto her heat as her hands tangled in his hair. “Oh god, Logan,” y/n threw her head back as her bud swole.
“Sweetest pussy that lives, baby. So fuckin’ good,” Logan couldn’t stop eating at her. He lifted a hand up and used two fingers to push at her entrance until he could curl in the right spot.
“F-Fuck,” y/n cried, making him lean back to watch her as he finger fucked her cunt. “You like that?” Logan asked as she nodded, head still leaned back and eyes closed.
“Yeah? Gonna start callin’ me instead of the boys?” He asked her, making her nod quickly. “Yeah, these boys aren’t enough for you. You need a man like me to take care of you,”
Y/n whined as she grinned at his fingers, chasing her orgasm. She was close, and he had just started. He was definitely better than any boy she’d been with. He was even better than herself.
“Give it to me, baby — Cum on my face — Need my face drenched,” the man looked into the girl's eyes and began to cross and roll back.
“C’mon, baby, give it to me — Give it to your man,” Logan kitty licked her bud to give her a better sensation that Wii jot sent her over the edge with a loud moan.
Logan latched his lips around her lips as he continued fingering her, humming into her cunt to get this amazing feeling in.
She tried to push the man off and close her legs, but he kept slapping her hands away and speeding her legs further with his free hand.
“G-God, Logan,” y/n cried out, feeling a bit embarrassed, and he felt it. He slightly loved the idea of her being shy from now on. The animal in him loved the look of a deer in headlights.
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reshinless · 2 days
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──── found myself dreaming (of you)
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⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ synopsis. when he can't get enough of you (eating you out ++ hitting it from behind :3)
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ pairings. kinich, neuvillette x fem!reader (or gn!afab!reader, separately)
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ director's notice. dunno, i kinda flopped today
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"a- ahh- wait, baby wait." he ingests saliva down his throat, neuvillette looked almost as if he was begging you. yet his gloved hands held your thighs down.
his fingers grasped your palms harshly, yet his gaze said otherwise; a gentle stare that seemed to ask you something. the horns on his head grew by the second- guess that happens each time he gets turned on.
he loved watching how your eyebrows knitted, loved watching how you pushed his face while holding onto his horns into your sloppy little entrance. or the way you threw your head back in pleasure— oh please let him taste more!
he promised it'd only be for a bit. he thought what he did was preparing you for his cock- but it's been well over 2 hours, and he's still lapping every drop of your essence up, his finger over your clit— "massaging it" he said, when he was well aware how good it made you feel.
"n-neuvi.. c'mon.. it's been enough already.." you almost had to push him off, his mouth getting detached made a plop sound.
neuvillette who already missed the way you tasted. he already had your ass up in the air for him, and face smothered into the comfort of the soft mattress.
he had one of his hands pinning both of your hands to the wooden board at the head of the bed- causing a red mark to appear on both your wrists. he couldn't help the strength he puts into his own hands. lowering his tip to brush against your folds, watching how you already were so wet for him; his other hand inserting a pair of two fingers into them briefly before watching how good his dick slips inside.
you'd moan out his name so beautifully, fuck he could do this for days on end if he'd always get to hear this kind of melody.
damn you're so warm, he couldn't help ramming into you the way he did right now. "mmm.. f- feels as good as it tastes sweetheart.."— such a lively speed he went at, your hands faltered a little. your hips bruised with marks of his palm, on being on his waist, and the other still holding your hands to the headboard.
his pent-up feelings, awwhh fuck he could definitely let it all out here- the way his dicked kissed the deepest of the deep in your body, and the way he held you with a hint of softness.
the snowy-unsullied haired man leaned down near your ear- briefly kissing the shell of your ear, slowly scattering a plenitude of pecks down your collarbone. landing in the crook of your neck, he slowly started to bite into it; not enough to bleed- but enough to mark in a spot where others could see.
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kinich who couldn't get enough of your aroma. who couldn't get to stop himself from swishing his tongue against your slick, working his fingers into the hole below, as his tongue worked into your clit. rubbing against it effectively.
the sounds of his moans vibrated against your cunt felt surreal, using his own spit to work his tongue faster against your entrance. watching the way you'd shut your eyes with the luxury of pleasure.
hungrily eating, and licking your hole, switching around places with his fingers every now and then. he knew you were stressed from work anyway. if he's been with you this long, he could eat you out for even longer.
you could feel him fly a sleazy grin against your pussy, you started to clench against his fingers— he knew you were close. "you close, pretty?" you nodded hurriedly, "ffuck- mmm— yes, yeah i am-" you moaned, your thighs starting to quiver, each time you felt his fingers curl inside you, curving well into your special spot.
he leans upward, and a little forward to leave kisses all over your stomach again. trailing back up to your lips, making out with you messily, his fingers only going even more so at an even further hurried pace. "you better be." he snarls with a mocking tone, smiling as you both continue to kiss each other excessively.
you could feel it building up already. his pace only getting faster, matching the speed of your breath, as he pulled away from another peck. your back started to arch from the way his fingers curled just right into your g-spot.
"a-ahhn i'm cumming! oh ffuck.. kinich!" you screamed, creaming onto his hand directly, as his arm rung around your waist to pull you close, snd keep you in place
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antoncore · 13 hours
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bro when i tell you i could NOT stop thinking about apologizing (not necessarily for something bad) and begging…. who in riize/bnd😴
gonna do a separate post for bnd if others want it as i made this longer than i planned but for riize, anton and eunseok.
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anton is clingy and loves loves LOVES having his hands all over you. he had “ignored” you when you went into his home studio, asking if he needed anything while he worked (although he did have his headphones in) and you got frustrated, storming out of the room. he would get up instantly to see you in the kitchen scrolling, you wouldn’t even notice he was there until you felt his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest. you ignored him, continuing to scroll as he placed the softest of kisses along your neck, murmuring apologies between each one. “didn’t mean to ignore you, darling, you know how i get when i’m focused,” as you continued to scroll, not paying any attention to his words, he nuzzled into your neck, whispering softly “i’m sorry, let me make it up to you, please.”
he gently turned you around to face him, lifting you up onto the counter. “i’d do anything for you,” he continued, his voice soft and pleading as he got on his knees as his eyes searched yours, practically begging for your forgiveness as his kissed his way up your thighs. you’d just let him, watching just how eager he was to please you. his full attention would be completely on you for hours as he ate you out. he held your hand tight as you put your other hand through his hair, apologies and pleas slipping from his lips every time he pulled away to breathe. would have you cum on his tongue multiple times until you said the words “i forgive you.”
eunseok had to work late on the night of your anniversary dinner. the deadlines for a crucial project were fast approaching, his team under pressure to finalise designs. every little detail mattered, needing his full attention. he sipped on his coffee as he sent you a text with a heavy sigh, feeling so guilty about missing such an important date.
eunseok: i’m sorry i have to miss the dinner doll, need to finalise the design plans tonight and i can’t leave until it’s all done.
your heart dropped slightly but you understood how stressful the night before a deadline was. you typed a quick reply, trying your best to reassure him that it was okay. as the hours passed, you found yourself glancing at the clock, every second only worsening your disappointment, wondering when eunseok was coming home. he’d walk through the door with a tired smile, a bouquet of your favourite flowers in his hands as a small apology. despite the sweet gesture, you were still frustrated, unable to forget what tonight could’ve been.
he would make it all better by fucking the frustration out of you, letting you order him around slightly, him giving you his cock exactly how you wanted. he’d listen attentively to your every word, your every sound to know that he was making you feel good, if he needed to pick up the pace or slow down. he’d go for rounds until you wanted him to stop, the night ending in breathlessness and him collapsing on top of you, giving you forehead kisses. he would even book a last minute weekend getaway as an extra gesture so that you could celebrate and have some quality time together away from home and the pressures of work (and so that he could make love to you, just like you’d want on your anniversary, ending with you being full of his cum, another way of showing how you always came first, wanting to spend his whole life with you <3)
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pdriesta · 2 days
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a love like this — 2
an — a series of blurbs based on the main couple of "something real”. if you’re someone that read it, let me know if you have requests <3
masterlist
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match days always felt electric. the stadium buzzed with energy, the stands filling up with excited fans, and the players moving about with a kind of nervous anticipation. y/n was always the first to arrive, making sure everything was set, from the physio rooms to the pitchside equipment. there was a routine to it, a rhythm she’d grown accustomed to. but no matter how busy the day got, there was one thing she always looked forward to—seeing jude before the game.
it had become their ritual. no matter what, he would always find her before kickoff, even if it was just for a few stolen seconds.
she stood in the hallway of the facility, away from the noise of the locker room, waiting for him like always. it was their little moment, their quiet ritual before every game. when jude finally appeared, already in his kit, his eyes lit up the second he saw her.
without a word, he closed the distance between them, arms wrapping around her waist as he pulled her close. she tilted her head up, meeting his gaze, and he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. it was always quick, always gentle, but enough to calm her nerves and fill him with that final bit of confidence.
“be safe, yeah?” she whispered, her hand resting against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.
he smiled down at her, his thumb brushing the side of her hip. “always. for you.”
he kissed her again, just a soft brush of lips, before pulling back, his fingers lingering on her waist for a moment longer before he let go. “i’ll see you after,” he murmured, a hint of warmth in his voice.
“good luck,” she whispered as he jogged off, leaving her standing there with a smile tugging at her lips, her heart a little lighter.
the game started fast, with real madrid dominating possession, and jude was in the thick of it, as always. y/n watched from the sidelines, her heart in her throat every time he got near the ball. she loved watching him play—his skill, his passion, his fire—it was magnetic. but it also made her anxious, especially on days like this when the stakes were high, and the tackles were hard.
then, it happened.
one minute, jude was sprinting down the pitch, weaving through defenders, and the next, he was on the ground, clutching his shoulder after a harsh tackle. y/n’s heart stopped. everything around her went blurry, the crowd’s roar fading into a dull hum as she watched him writhe in pain.
gerard was already moving, rushing out onto the pitch to tend to him. y/n stood frozen, her breath caught in her throat as she watched them help jude off the field, his face contorted in pain, his arm hanging limply by his side.
he was subbed off immediately, and her stomach twisted in knots. she wanted to be by his side, but her job kept her pitchside for the rest of the game. her mind raced, heart hammering in her chest as she tried to focus on the match, but it was impossible. all she could think about was him, the pain he must be in, the uncertainty of the injury.
the final whistle blew, and real madrid won, but y/n barely registered it. she sprinted toward the tunnel, her feet moving faster than her mind. all she cared about was jude.
she found him in the medical room, sitting on the bench, his face pale and strained. his left shoulder was wrapped tightly, and he winced every time he moved.
“jude,” she breathed, rushing to his side. her hands hovered over him, unsure where to touch without hurting him further. “how bad is it?”
he looked up at her, offering a weak smile. “gerard says it’s not dislocated. but i need scans to be sure.”
y/n nodded, her heart heavy with worry. she knew she had to stay professional, but the sight of him in pain, the uncertainty of it all—it was too much.
“i’ll take care of you,” she whispered, her fingers gently brushing his knee as if to ground herself.
jude nodded, but she could see the strain in his eyes, the way he clenched his jaw to hide the pain. it broke her heart to see him like this.
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after weeks, y/n and jude finally found the time for themselves in between their busy schedules for a date night. it had been a perfect night—one of those rare moments where their schedules aligned and they could just be them, away from the pitch, the pressure, and everything else. dinner had been slow, intimate, filled with teasing looks across the table, hands brushing as they shared plates. jude was in one of his moods, that playful, flirty side of him that always made y/n blush even when she tried to act unaffected.
by the time they made it back to his apartment, the air between them had shifted from soft flirtation to something far more heated. jude barely got the door shut before he was on her, his hands wrapping around her waist, pulling her flush against him as his lips met hers in a kiss that was both passionate and unhurried, like he had all the time in the world to savor her.
y/n melted into him, her arms looping around his neck as she kissed him back just as fervently, her fingers slipping through the short curls at the nape of his neck. she could feel his need in the way he held her close, like he didn’t want to let go for a second. his lips trailed down to her jawline, pressing light, teasing kisses that made her breath hitch and her body tense in anticipation.
“i missed this,” he murmured against her skin, his voice low and husky as his hands wandered to her hips, tugging her even closer.
“me too,” she whispered, her voice breathless as she leaned into his touch. everything about being with him felt right, like they had found this perfect rhythm together. the world outside faded away when they were like this.
before she could process what was happening, jude bent down and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her towards the bedroom with a grin that spoke of mischief and desire. y/n let out a soft gasp, her hands instinctively clutching his shoulders for balance, but that’s when she felt it—the slightest shift in his expression. his grin faltered for a split second, a tiny grimace of pain that was gone almost as quickly as it came.
but she caught it.
“jude…” she said softly, pulling back just enough to see his face. “are you okay?”
he stopped walking, still holding her but not moving forward. for a moment, his playful expression dropped, and she could see it—the flicker of discomfort in his eyes, the tension in his jaw. her gaze immediately flickered to his shoulder, the one that had been injured just a month or two ago, the one that was still wrapped during matches. the same shoulder he was meant to be careful with, even though the doctors had cleared him to play under strict precautions.
“it’s nothing, love,” he said quickly, his tone light, brushing it off as if it were no big deal. but the way his body tensed gave him away.
y/n frowned, her hand gently cupping his cheek as she searched his face. “jude, don’t lie to me. you grimaced.”
“grimaced?” he repeated, a playful smirk tugging at his lips as he tried to steer the conversation back to their usual banter. “nah, i don’t think i know what that word means. you must be imagining things.”
“jude.” her voice was firmer this time, her brow furrowed with concern. “if you’re in pain, you need to tell me.”
he set her down gently, his arms still loosely wrapped around her waist as he leaned in, pressing his forehead to hers. “it’s fine, y/n. i promise,” he said, his voice softer now, more sincere. “it’s just a little sore. nothing to worry about.”
she opened her mouth to argue, but before she could get a word out, he kissed her again—slow and deliberate, his lips moving against hers with a tenderness that made her mind go blank. her heart fluttered, and just like that, her focus shifted. her hands gripped his shirt, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing hers in a way that made her forget all about his shoulder for a moment.
he pulled back slightly, just enough to murmur against her lips, “you’re worrying too much again, love.”
her body betrayed her, melting into him even though her brain was still trying to hold on to the thread of concern. “i’m serious, jude…”
but he kissed her again, this time more insistent, his hands slipping under the hem of her shirt, sending shivers down her spine. “how about you stop worrying… and let me take care of you tonight,” he whispered, his voice dripping with seduction.
y/n’s breath hitched, her heart racing as his words settled over her. she could feel the warmth of his hands on her skin, the way his touch made her mind foggy with desire. she wanted to press him further, to make him admit if he was really in pain, but the way he was looking at her—the intensity in his gaze, the way his lips ghosted over hers—it made her forget everything else.
he grinned down at her, sensing her hesitation fading. “there she is,” he teased, his thumb brushing lightly over her bottom lip. “you’re always overthinking, y/n. i’m fine.”
she bit her lip, still feeling a flicker of worry in her chest, but she couldn’t resist the pull of him—the way his presence consumed her, the way he could make her forget all her concerns with just a look. he’s fine, she told herself. he wouldn’t hide something from me.
and just like that, jude had successfully distracted her, his teasing words and gentle touches working their magic. he leaned down to kiss her again, his lips moving over hers with a passion that left her breathless. her hands roamed over his chest, and before she knew it, they were back to where they had started—lost in each other, in the heat of the moment.
but deep down, somewhere beneath the desire, a small voice still whispered in the back of her mind, reminding her of that fleeting grimace, of the tension in his body. it wasn’t enough to pull her out of the moment now, but it lingered, waiting for a quiet moment to resurface.
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the atmosphere in the physio room was different when it was just the two of them. jude was lying on the table, his shirt tossed aside, muscles on full display as y/n stood beside him, clipboard in hand. she tried to keep her professional demeanor intact, but it was difficult with how aware she was of his body, the familiar contours of his skin, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath. she couldn't help it—their last night together still played on loop in her mind, and the flicker of concern from that grimace gnawed at her more than she wanted to admit.
"alright, let's start," she said, her voice steady but her mind racing. she avoided eye contact, focusing on the basics as she gently prodded his uninjured arm first. "raise this arm for me."
jude smirked, lifting his right arm with ease, the muscles flexing under his skin. "easy."
"good." she made a note on her clipboard, moving to his injured shoulder, her heart skipping a beat when she saw the slight tension in his face, even though he was trying hard not to show it. he’s still in pain, she thought, but she stayed silent.
“now the other one,” she instructed, keeping her tone as even as possible.
he raised his left arm, but only halfway before his movement faltered. y/n’s eyes darted to his shoulder, catching the subtle wince that he tried to mask behind a grin.
“see? not too bad,” he said casually, dropping his arm back down as if the strain wasn’t obvious.
but she saw it. he’s hiding something.
“jude,” she said softly, stepping closer, her hand reaching out to his shoulder. her fingertips brushed his skin, and she could feel the tightness there, the tension in the muscles. “does it hurt?”
“nah,” he shrugged, leaning back against the table with a playful glint in his eyes, “i think you’re just looking for an excuse to touch me.”
she rolled her eyes, trying to keep her focus on the task at hand, but his teasing always had a way of getting under her skin. “i’m serious. don’t joke about this.”
“oh, come on,” jude replied, flashing her that boyish grin that had her heart racing even when she didn’t want it to. “i’m fine, love. you’re just being overprotective.”
“i have to be overprotective,” she countered, biting her lip as she stepped back, her hand falling away from him. “it’s my job.”
“mm, is that what this is? just work?” his voice dropped to a lower, more intimate tone, and the way he was looking at her—soft, smoldering—made her stomach flip. “because i could’ve sworn you liked touching me.”
her breath hitched, a blush creeping up her neck as she tried to focus on the clipboard in her hands. “jude.”
“what? i’m just saying,” he chuckled, sitting up on the table, his arm moving a little too freely for someone supposedly recovering. “maybe i should get hurt more often if it means you’ll fuss over me like this.”
she glared at him, though her lips twitched with a smile. “that’s not funny.”
“oh, but you’re smiling.” he leaned forward, and before she could step away, his hand caught her wrist, pulling her gently toward him. “c’mon, love. you don’t have to worry so much. i’m fine. promise.”
y/n could feel her resolve weakening as his thumb rubbed soft circles into her skin, his touch warm and comforting. her eyes flickered to his shoulder, still aching, still not fully healed. she knew she should be focusing on the session, on the way his range of motion wasn’t what it should be, on the tightness that was still there.
but jude had this way of making everything else melt away, of making her forget, just for a moment, how serious things were.
“you’re not fine, jude,” she said softly, her voice barely a whisper as her hand came up to rest on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart under her palm. “i can tell.”
he sighed, leaning his forehead against hers, his breath warm on her skin. “maybe it’s not perfect yet,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, more honest. “but it’s getting better. i’m fine, y/n.”
she closed her eyes, torn between her concern as a professional and her feelings as his girlfriend. her fingers brushed lightly over his skin, feeling the tension there, the strain he was trying so hard to hide.
“you don’t have to act tough with me, jude,” she murmured, opening her eyes to meet his gaze. “i know when you’re hurting.”
he looked at her for a long moment, his eyes softening as he reached up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “you’re too good to me, you know that?” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “always worrying.”
“because i love you,” she said quietly, the words slipping out before she could stop them.
jude’s eyes softened even more, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “and i love you too, which is why you don’t need to worry. i’m okay.”
she wanted to believe him, wanted to trust that everything was fine, that he wasn’t still in pain. but the way he winced when he thought she wasn’t looking, the way his shoulder still felt tense under her fingers—it all told her a different story.
but for now, she let it slide, letting herself melt into his touch as his lips found hers again, soft and tender, stealing her breath away.
she knew she couldn’t let it go forever, but for tonight, she let herself believe him.
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it was late. the kind of late where the office was eerily quiet, the hum of the computer the only sound in the physio room. y/n sat at her desk, eyes fixed on the screen in front of her. she had been staring at jude’s file for what felt like hours, her mind racing as she scrolled through the details of his last scan, the diagnosis staring back at her like a punch to the gut.
rotator cuff strain. partial tear. possible surgical intervention required.
she blinked, her heart pounding in her chest as the reality of it settled in. her hands hovered over the keyboard, scrolling through the notes, the recommendations from the team doctor, the detailed suggestions for further treatment.
he needs surgery.
it was there in black and white, clear as day, but somehow—somehow—she had missed it. or rather, she had overlooked it. she hadn’t wanted to see it. jude had been so convincing, so adamant that he was fine, that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. and she had trusted him. she had wanted to trust him. he’s fine, he’d said, it’s just precautionary.
but now, staring at the report, she felt her stomach twist with guilt. how had she let this slip by? how had she let herself believe that everything was okay when deep down, she knew something wasn’t right? she had seen the signs—the grimace when he moved, the tightness in his shoulder, the way he brushed off her concern night after night. but she had let it go because she loved him, because she wanted to believe that he wouldn’t hide something so important from her.
he lied. maybe not outright, but he hadn’t told her the full truth. and now, the weight of that omission was crushing her. she scrolled through the file again, her eyes tracing the doctor’s notes, the suggestion for surgical intervention, the warning about potential long-term damage if left untreated.
how could he do this?
y/n felt a lump rise in her throat, her fingers gripping the edge of the desk as the reality of it all hit her. jude wasn’t just playing through pain—he was risking everything. his career, his health, his future. and he hadn’t told her. he hadn’t trusted her enough to tell her the truth.
her mind flashed back to their last session, the way he had flirted with her, teased her, tried to distract her. she had known something was off. she knew something was wrong, but she had let herself be swept up in his charm, in the way he made her feel, in the love that had grown between them over the past year.
how could i have been so blind?
her fingers hovered over the keyboard, hesitating before she clicked out of the file. she leaned back in her chair, staring at the screen as the weight of it all settled in. jude needed surgery. he needed treatment. and he had kept it from her, knowing what it could mean for his career, for his body, for them.
and now, she was going to have to confront him about it.
y/n closed her laptop, her hands shaking as she stood from her desk. she could feel the anger bubbling up inside her, but more than that, she felt hurt. he had lied to her—he had put his career ahead of his health, ahead of their relationship, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal.
she had to talk to him. she had to make him understand how serious this was, even if it meant they would argue, even if it meant pushing him in ways she didn’t want to.
because if she didn’t… she wasn’t sure what would happen.
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the door clicked shut behind jude as he walked into his home, his shoulders stiff with frustration, pain laced through his every movement. y/n stood by the kitchen counter, her arms crossed, waiting. she had thought about this moment all day, how to approach it without letting her emotions get the best of her. but now, seeing him walk in like this—defensive, agitated—it all fell apart. the worry she’d bottled up turned into something sharper, something more painful.
"we need to talk," she started, her voice tense, the calm she wanted nowhere to be found.
jude's eyes flicked up, already guarded. "about what?" he muttered, shrugging out of his jacket, wincing as his shoulder strained.
her heart clenched at the sight of him still in pain. she took a breath, trying to keep it together, but it was no use. "about your shoulder," she said, stepping forward, the words tighter than she meant. "you haven’t healed, jude. i saw your scans."
he froze, his eyes locking on hers, that flicker of guilt quickly masked by frustration. "i’m fine."
"you’re not fine," she snapped, her voice rising despite herself. "you need surgery, and you’ve been lying to me."
“i didn’t lie,” jude shot back, his voice louder now, raw with his own frustration. "i just… didn’t tell you."
"exactly!" she cut in, her voice shaking with the intensity of everything she’d been holding back. “you didn’t tell me because you knew what i’d say. you knew i’d tell you to stop playing, to take care of yourself.”
“and miss everything i’ve worked for?" he scoffed, disbelief in his voice. "the season, the champions league, euros—you want me to throw all that away?"
"i am not suggesting for you to 'throw it all away'. i want you to put yourself first and make the right decision especially, if it means not ruining your body. if it means being able to play for years instead of burning out now. jude, i’m not just your girlfriend here—I’m your physio. i’m telling you, you’re risking everything by pushing this." her voice broke, her heart slamming against her ribs as the words spilled out.
he stared at her, his jaw tight, his defenses raised. "you’re always telling me what to do. it’s like i can’t make a single decision without you hovering over me, like i’m incapable or something."
her chest tightened at his words, the sting sharper than she expected. "hovering?" she repeated, her voice trembling. "i’m trying to help you, jude. because i love you. because i can’t stand to see you hurt.”
"i didn’t ask you to help,” he muttered, frustration boiling over. “i didn’t ask you to go through my files or make choices for me. i can take care of myself.”
"clearly not!" she shouted, the dam finally breaking. "you’re pretending everything’s fine when it's not! you're acting like this is nothing, but you're going to ruin yourself. is that what you want?"
he looked at her, eyes blazing. "what do you want me to do, y/n? sit out the most important games of my life and let everyone down?"
"i want you to listen to me,” she said, her voice soft but pleading. "i want you to trust me when i say that pushing through this pain will ruin you. i want you to care about your health enough to stop."
“and what if i can’t?" his voice dropped, the anger in his tone replaced by something harder, colder. “what if i can’t stop? what if chasing my dream means pushing through this?"
“then maybe you need to figure out what matters more,” she whispered, the tears she’d been holding back finally breaking free. “your career or your future.”
he scoffed, shaking his head. "you’re blowing this out of proportion."
“i’m saying,” he bit out, “that sometimes it feels like you don’t trust me to make my own decisions. like you’re constantly babying me. and it’s—” he broke off, rubbing his face with his good hand, exhaling sharply. “it’s suffocating.”
y/n took a step back, the weight of his words settling deep in her chest. suffocating. he felt suffocated by her. by her care, her concern. all this time, she thought she was protecting him, looking out for him, but now it felt like every effort she made was being thrown back in her face.
the words hit her like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of her. for a moment, she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. all she could do was stare at him, the man she loved, the man she thought she knew. and in that moment, it all became too much.
her throat tightened, tears threatening to spill, but she swallowed them down, forcing herself to stand tall. “i’m suffocating you,” she repeated quietly, her voice hollow. “i’m trying to help you, jude. because i love you. because i don’t want to see you hurt.”
“i never asked for your help,” he shot back, his voice harsh, cold. “i didn’t ask you to go through my file. i didn’t ask you to act like i can’t make my own choices.”
she flinched at the coldness in his tone, her heart breaking a little more with every word. “so, what? you think i’m overstepping because i care? because i want to make sure you’re not ruining your career?”
“ruining my career?” he echoed, his voice rising. “i’m not ruining anything, y/n. i’m chasing my dream, and you’re trying to take that away from me.”
“i’m not trying to take it away from you,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “i’m trying to save you.”
“save me?” jude scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “i don’t need saving. i’m fine.”
“you’re not fine!” she shouted, the dam breaking as her frustration, her fear, her love for him poured out in waves. “you’re hurt, jude, and you’re pretending everything’s okay when it’s not! you’re risking everything for a few more games, and you’re going to get yourself hurt even worse if you keep pushing like this.”
“so what?” he snapped, his eyes blazing with anger. “what do you want me to do, huh? just sit on the sidelines and watch while everyone else plays? let my team down? let my country down?”
“i want you to take care of yourself,” she said, her voice soft, pleading now. “i want you to trust me when i say that you need to stop. not just because i’m your physio, but because i’m the person who loves you.”
“well, maybe i don’t need you to love me like that,” he bit out, his voice cold and cutting. “maybe i don’t need you to hover over me and make decisions for me.”
“fine,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “if you think i’m suffocating you, then i’ll stop.”
she turned, grabbing her bag, her hands shaking as she stuffed her things inside. jude’s eyes widened as he realized what she was doing, his anger fading into panic.
“y/n, wait—”
“no,” she cut him off, her voice shaking. “i swore to myself i would never allow myself to be treated like this again. i love you, jude, but i’m not going to stand here and watch you ruin yourself, and i’m sure as hell not going to let you treat me like this just because i care.”
“y/n—” he reached for her, but she stepped back, her chest tightening with every breath.
“i can’t stay here and watch you destroy yourself. if you don’t want my help, if you don’t want my love, then i'll give you space.” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
and with that, she turned and walked out the door, leaving him standing there, speechless, the weight of his words crashing down around him.
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the next morning, y/n moved through the facility like a ghost, her steps deliberate but light, her gaze averted from every familiar face. her usual routine felt foreign, each task tinged with the sting of their argument. it was as if her entire world had shifted on its axis, and now she was navigating through a blur of faces and whispers.
jude's teammates, ever observant, noticed the shift. they gathered in their usual spot in the locker room, exchanging glances as they watched jude, who was trying and failing to focus on a stack of recovery reports.
“hey, jude,” eddie called out, nudging him with a grin. “you and y/n good? you two look like you’ve had a rough night.”
jude stiffened, the question hitting him like a ton of bricks. “we’re fine,” he replied quickly, his voice betraying the unease he felt. “just had a disagreement. nothing to worry about.”
“a disagreement?” aurélien chimed in, raising an eyebrow. “you two are usually joined at the hip. if you’re having trouble, maybe it’s time to sort it out.”
jude sighed, pushing his papers aside. “it’s nothing. she’s probably just busy.”
his teammates exchanged skeptical looks but let the matter drop, knowing when to press and when to let things be. jude, however, couldn’t focus on anything but the hollow feeling in his chest, the gnawing regret of their last conversation.
jude had never seen y/n truly angry at him. the realization that this was their first real fight gnawed at him as he navigated the day, trying to focus but constantly distracted by thoughts of her. their relationship had always been easy—light and warm, full of affection and laughter. but now, the air between them felt thick, and the tension was something he didn’t know how to fix.
he’d never been in this situation with her before. y/n was usually so calm, understanding, always meeting him with patience. but today, she was distant, her posture closed off, her face a mask of professionalism that made him feel like he was a stranger.
when he finally spotted her across the training facility, he didn’t think twice. his legs carried him toward her before he even had a plan of what to say. all he knew was that he couldn’t stand this distance any longer.
“y/n,” he called out, his voice hesitant, unsure.
she didn’t stop immediately, her steps faltering only when he reached her side. when she turned to face him, her expression was unreadable, the usual warmth in her eyes replaced by something much colder.
“jude, i’m working,” she said, her voice clipped. “what do you need?”
his heart sank at the tone, but he pushed forward, desperate to get her to soften. he had no idea how to navigate this, how to reach her when she was this upset with him. so, he did what he always did when things were tense—he tried to charm his way out of it.
“i just wanted to see you,” he said, giving her the smile that usually made her laugh. “can’t go a day without your pretty face, you know?”
she stared at him, unblinking, her lips set in a tight line. no smile. no softening of her features.
“jude,” she said quietly, her voice low and firm. “this isn’t the time for jokes.”
he swallowed hard, feeling the sting of her words but still unsure how to break through the walls she’d put up between them. he wasn’t used to this—wasn’t used to y/n being angry, wasn’t used to feeling like he couldn’t fix it with a few sweet words or a touch.
“i’m sorry,” he said quickly, stepping closer, his hand brushing her arm gently. “about last night. i know i messed up. i didn’t mean to hurt you, y/n. i hate this… i hate us being like this.”
she exhaled sharply, her eyes flickering with something close to frustration. “this isn’t about you 'hurting my feelings', jude. do you really think that’s what this is about?”
he blinked, taken aback. he’d thought—well, yes, he’d thought it was about her being upset with him, about her being hurt by the way he’d reacted. wasn’t that what this was about? how he treated her?
“isn’t it?” he asked, his voice uncertain.
y/n shook her head, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. “no, jude, it’s not about my feelings. it’s about your health. i’m your physio. i have a responsibility to make sure you don’t ruin your body, and you’re ignoring every piece of advice i’ve given you. you’re being reckless, and i can’t… i can’t just sit by and watch you destroy yourself.”
her voice cracked slightly at the end, and for a moment, jude saw the worry beneath her anger. but it didn’t make him feel better—in fact, it made him feel worse. because this wasn’t just about them. this wasn’t something he could fix with an apology or a promise to do better.
“i’m fine, y/n,” he insisted, trying to reach for her again, but she stepped back, putting more space between them. “i don’t need surgery—i’m managing, i’m playing. everything’s under control.”
“under control?” she repeated, her tone dripping with disbelief. “you’re grimacing every time you lift your arm, jude. i've seen it/ you’re not fooling anyone.”
he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, frustration starting to bubble up inside him. he hated this—hated feeling like he was losing her because of something as stupid as his shoulder.
“what do you want me to say?” he asked, his voice tinged with frustration now. “i’m sorry, okay? i’m sorry i hurt your feelings. i didn’t mean to—”
“this isn’t about my feelings!” she snapped, cutting him off, her eyes flashing. “you still don’t get it, do you? this is about you taking care of yourself. it’s about you trusting me to help you, to do my job. but you’re not. you’re hiding things from me, you’re brushing off your injury like it’s nothing, and i can’t… i can’t be a part of that.”
he stared at her, the full weight of her words settling in his chest like a stone. she was pulling away—really pulling away. not just emotionally, but from her role as his physio. and that… that felt like losing her entirely.
“you’re saying you don’t want to work with me anymore?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
y/n’s expression softened, but only slightly. “i’m saying i can’t work with you if you’re not going to be honest with me. i’ve already told gerard that he’ll be handling your sessions from now on.”
the words hit him like a punch to the gut. he hadn’t expected this—not from her. not from the woman who had been his constant support, his anchor through everything. he felt the sting of betrayal, even though he knew, deep down, that she was right.
“y/n, please,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “don’t do this. don’t push me away.”
her gaze softened, but there was still a steely resolve in her eyes. “i’m not pushing you away, jude. i’m setting a boundary. i love you, but i can’t watch you do this to yourself. not as your physio, and not as someone who loves about you.”
and with that, she turned and walked away, leaving him standing there, his heart aching with the weight of everything unsaid.
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the week dragged on in silence, y/n tucked away in her office, trying to drown herself in work. she thought if she focused hard enough on the files in front of her, she could ignore the ache gnawing at her chest. it had been a more than a week since their argument—since jude had stubbornly refused the surgery again, and since she had drawn a line between them, choosing her own peace over watching him destroy his body.
but the weight of it all was still there, pressing down on her, making every moment feel heavier. she missed him. she hated this coldness, the distance that felt so unnatural between them. they'd never fought like this before—never been at odds for more than a few playful moments. and now, it felt like an ocean was between them, one that neither of them seemed to know how to cross.
the sound of footsteps approaching her desk barely registered at first. she stayed focused on the computer screen, her fingers moving swiftly over the keys, until the familiar scent of fresh coffee hit her.
she didn’t look up.
“hey, love,” jude’s voice was soft, tentative. he placed a travel thermos in front of her—the one she always used, her favorite color, with the latte she liked to have when she worked late. “i made your latte this morning. figured you’d be needing one.”
her fingers stilled, but she didn’t raise her eyes to meet his. instead, she kept her gaze trained on the screen, willing her emotions to stay in check. she wasn’t going to let him charm his way out of this—not this time.
“thanks,” she muttered, her voice flat, void of any warmth.
jude let out a small sigh, clearly hoping for more. when nothing followed, he leaned down, resting his arms on the edge of her desk, trying to catch her eye. “come on, y/n. you can’t stay mad at me forever. how long are you gonna keep giving me the cold shoulder?”
still, she didn’t look at him. “i’m working.”
he straightened up, clearly flustered, but not giving up. he flashed her that smile—the one that usually melted her resolve in seconds. “when are you coming home? i miss you.”
y/n finally glanced at him, but her eyes were sharp, cold. “why?” she asked, her tone biting. “so i can suffocate you some more? maybe hover over everything you about taking care of yourself like it’s a bad thing?”
her words hit him like a slap, and jude blinked, clearly taken aback. he opened his mouth, then closed it, unsure of what to say. he had never seen her this... sharp. this distant. and it was starting to sink in just how much he had hurt her.
“it’s not like that, y/n. you know i—” he began, but she cut him off.
“no, jude. it is like that.” she pushed back from her desk, finally standing and facing him. “you don’t get it, do you? i love you. more than anything. but you’re being reckless, and i can’t stand by and watch it happen. i’m not going to sit here and watch you ruin your career, your body—everything you’ve worked for. and i can’t be with someone who doesn’t care about themselves enough to do what needs to be done.”
he took a step closer, his expression softening as he reached for her hand. “y/n, i care about you—about us. that’s why i’m doing this. i can’t afford to be out for months with surgery. the team needs me.”
she pulled her hand away, frustration boiling up. “and what about what i need, jude? have you thought about that?”
he was quiet for a moment, clearly grappling with her words, trying to find the right thing to say. “i’m sorry,” he murmured. “i’m sorry i hurt your feelings—”
y/n scoffed, her patience running thin. “i'm going to stop you right there. this is about your health. i’m your girlfriend, and i’m your physio. i have a responsibility to make sure you’re okay, and right now, you’re not.”
he looked down, his shoulders slumping slightly. “i know… but surgery—”
“don’t,” she interrupted, holding up a hand. “don’t give me the same excuse. if you want to make it up to me, if you really care about us, you’ll get the surgery. that’s how you fix this.”
he stared at her, his jaw tight, clearly wrestling with himself. “i can’t,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “i can’t do that.”
y/n’s chest tightened, her heart breaking a little more with each passing second. she took a deep breath, nodding to herself as she made up her mind. “then we don’t have anything left to talk about.”
jude’s head snapped up, panic flashing across his face. “what? no—y/n, come on, don’t do this.”
“i’m not your assigned physio anymore, jude,” she continued, her tone distant, like she was reciting facts rather than emotions. “and as your girlfriend, i’m not going to keep offering you my care and love only for you to throw it back in my face.”
“y/n, please,” he begged, stepping closer, his hand reaching for hers again. “don’t push me away.”
she looked at him, her eyes softening for just a moment. “i’m not pushing you away, jude. until you decide to take your health seriously, we don’t have anything else to talk about.”
and with that, she walked past him, leaving him standing there, lost and unsure, holding her favorite latte that suddenly didn’t seem like enough.
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the shopping center was bustling with activity, the sounds of chatter and footsteps echoing through the open-air market as y/n strolled alongside denise and jobe. she had been hesitant to join them at first, but denise had insisted, practically pulling her out of the training center with promises of coffee and a relaxing afternoon. y/n couldn't say no to jude’s mom—she was like the mother she never had. and despite everything, she missed this, missed the warmth of being around his family.
“so, how do you say this again?” denise asked, holding up a scarf to a shopkeeper, her brow furrowed as she tried to recall the spanish phrase y/n had taught her earlier.
y/n smiled softly, stepping in to help. “es tan bonito. how much is it?”
denise repeated the words with a grin, and the shopkeeper beamed at her effort before responding. y/n translated easily, helping denise through the exchange. the older woman patted y/n’s arm, her eyes twinkling. “i don’t know what i’d do without you. you’re my little translator,” she teased, giving y/n a warm smile.
“well, you’re learning,” y/n said with a gentle laugh. “and you’re doing great.”
meanwhile, jobe was trailing behind them, half paying attention to the conversation while glancing at his phone. y/n nudged him playfully. “you’re awfully quiet back there, jobe. come on, join in! you’re one of the girls now.”
jobe rolled his eyes but smirked. “nah, i’m good. you have your fun. i’m just here for the food.”
denise gave him a look, but there was no real bite in her words. “don’t act like you’re not enjoying yourself, jobe. you love shopping with us.”
y/n laughed at that, and jobe let out a dramatic sigh. “fine, maybe a little. but don’t tell anyone.”
as they made their way through the rest of the shops, the atmosphere felt light, almost normal—almost like she hadn’t just walked out on jude days ago. but as they settled down at a small café for lunch, denise’s warm gaze flickered toward y/n, a hint of concern behind her smile.
“you haven’t been over much lately,” denise remarked gently, stirring her coffee. “jude’s been… well, a bit out of sorts. sulking, really.”
y/n tensed at the mention of his name, her fingers tightening around her mug. “yeah, things have been… complicated.”
jobe glanced at her, sensing the shift in mood. “he’s been a right pain at home,” he added with a chuckle, though his eyes were more curious than teasing. “what’s going on with you two?”
y/n sighed, setting her coffee down. she didn’t want to get into too many details, but she knew she couldn’t dodge their concern forever. “we had a fight. about his surgery. he’s being stubborn and refusing it, and i just… i can’t stand by and watch him hurt himself.”
denise nodded thoughtfully, her expression softening with understanding. “that sounds like my jude,” she murmured, shaking her head. “he’s always been driven, even as a little boy. always pushing himself, always wanting to be the best.”
y/n felt a lump form in her throat as she listened, her heart aching. “i know. and i get it, i do. but he’s risking everything—his health, his future. i can’t just sit there and do nothing.”
denise reached across the table, placing a gentle hand on y/n’s arm. “sweetheart, jude is so focused on his goals that sometimes he forgets about the bigger picture. he’s always been that way. stubborn, yes, but he’s also in love with you. he’ll come around—you just have to give him time.”
jobe leaned back in his chair, nodding in agreement. “yeah, he’s a bit of an idiot sometimes, but he’s not stupid. he loves you, y/n. it’s just… football is everything to him, and right now, he’s scared of losing that. but that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about you too.”
y/n bit her lip, her chest tightening with emotion. “i just don’t know how to get through to him. it feels like i’m banging my head against a wall.”
denise smiled warmly, squeezing her hand. “just keep being patient, love. jude’s got a good head on his shoulders, but sometimes he needs a little nudge in the right direction. he’ll figure it out. and when he does, he’ll realize that you’re right.”
y/n gave a small, grateful nod, her heart feeling a little lighter. she appreciated their insight, their understanding of jude in a way only his family could provide. they had seen him through all his phases, his triumphs, and his struggles, and their words gave her hope that maybe, just maybe, he’d come to his senses.
as they finished their lunch and continued shopping, y/n felt a small flicker of peace. things weren’t perfect, and the weight of her argument with jude still loomed over her, but being with his family—hearing their stories and their faith in him—made her feel like she wasn’t alone in this.
and maybe, just maybe, jude would realize that too.
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the sun was setting over madrid, casting a golden hue through the large windows of jude’s apartment. y/n sat on the edge of the couch, her heart racing as she stared at the familiar surroundings. it had been days since they last spoke—days that felt like weeks, filled with uncertainty, hurt, and distance.
but she was here now. despite everything, she missed him. missed them. and as much as it pained her to watch him be so reckless with his body, she knew they had to find a way through this. for both their sakes.
the sound of the front door opening pulled her from her thoughts, and a moment later, jude stepped inside. his eyes met hers instantly, surprise flashing across his face, quickly replaced by a mixture of relief and guilt. he closed the door behind him, hesitating by the entrance as if unsure of what to say.
“hey,” his voice was soft, tentative, as he dropped his gym bag on the floor. “i didn’t expect you to be here.”
y/n stood, crossing her arms protectively over her chest. “i didn’t expect to come either,” she admitted, her voice equally soft. “but we need to talk.”
jude nodded, his shoulders sagging as he approached her slowly, as if afraid she might disappear. “yeah, we do.”
they stood there for a moment, the silence heavy between them, both unsure of how to start. it was jude who broke the quiet first, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated with himself.
"i need to apologize for… for what i said the other day.” his voice was quiet, almost as if he was ashamed to bring it up.
y/n looked at him, waiting for him to continue. she knew what he was referring to—how his words had cut deep, leaving a wound she hadn’t been able to shake.
he swallowed hard, finally lifting his eyes to meet hers. “what i said about you suffocating me… about you hovering over everything. that was wrong. so wrong. i didn’t mean it, not like that. i was angry, frustrated with myself, and i took it out on you. you were just trying to help me, and instead of appreciating it, i threw it back in your face. i’m so sorry.”
his voice broke slightly, the guilt etched into every word. y/n’s heart ached as she watched him struggle with the weight of his apology. she could see how much it was eating at him, how much he regretted the hurtful things he had said in the heat of the moment.
“you didn’t deserve that,” jude continued, his voice barely above a whisper now. “you’ve always been there for me. always cared for me, even when i wasn’t taking care of myself. i don’t know why i said those things. i was scared, and i lashed out at the one person who’s always had my back. and that was wrong.”
y/n blinked, her chest tightening as the memory of his words came flooding back. she hadn’t realized just how much she needed to hear him say this, to acknowledge the damage he’d caused. she had spent so many nights replaying the argument, wondering if maybe he had truly felt that way—that she was too much, too protective, too demanding.
but hearing him now, seeing the pain in his eyes, she realized how much he had been hurting too. they had both been navigating this storm together, just on opposite sides of the same battle.
“jude,” she said softly, her voice wavering. “i know you didn’t mean it, but… it still hurt. when you said those things, it made me feel like i was the problem. like maybe i was asking for too much by caring about you.”
he shook his head quickly, his hands reaching for hers again, holding them tightly. “no, no, y/n. you are never the problem. you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. and i was too caught up in my own head to see that.”
he took a deep breath, his grip on her hands tightening as if he was afraid to let her go. “you’re not suffocating me. you’re not too much. i need you, y/n. i need you in my life, and i need your care. because without you… i don’t know where i’d be right now. probably doing even worse.”
a small, sad smile tugged at the corners of y/n’s lips. “i just want you to be okay, jude. that’s all i’ve ever wanted.”
he nodded, his expression earnest, filled with remorse and love. “and i promise you, i’m going to do better. i’m going to take care of myself, and i’ll listen to you. because you’re right—i can’t keep ignoring my health. and i can’t keep pushing you away when all you’ve ever done is love me.”
y/n’s eyes softened, and she squeezed his hands gently. “that’s all i ask. that you take care of yourself, so we can take care of us.”
jude leaned in, resting his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling in the quiet of the room. “i’m sorry, baby. for everything. and i’m going to make it right.”
she closed her eyes, letting the warmth of his presence wash over her. “i know you will,” she whispered, feeling the weight of the past few weeks slowly start to lift.
they stayed like that for a moment, wrapped in the silence, the apology finally spoken, the air between them beginning to clear.
jude sat down beside her on the couch, his leg bouncing nervously. “i won’t get the surgery now,” he said, his voice steady but filled with determination. “not yet. i want to be there for the euros, and i’m not ready to sit that out. but i swear, y/n, after that… after the tournament, i’ll do it. i’ll get the surgery.”
y/n’s heart ached at his words, knowing how much the decision weighed on him. she took a deep breath, feeling a flicker of guilt rise in her chest.
“jude… i never want to make you feel like you have to choose between your dreams and me,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “that’s not fair, and it’s not what i want. you deserve to live your dream, to play and give it your all. i don’t want you to feel torn between what you love and us. i just… i just want you to be safe.”
he turned toward her, his brow furrowed in concern as he took her hands again. “y/n, you’re not making me choose. this isn’t about you versus football. i need to take care of myself because i want a future with you. us.”
his voice softened as he continued. “i know what football means to me. but you, love… you’re my future. i promise i’ll find the balance. for both of us.”
her chest tightened as his words sank in. “promise me, then,” she whispered, tears threatening to fall. “promise me you’ll take care of yourself until then. more physio sessions, more rest, whatever it takes. i can’t lose you, jude. not to an injury, not to anything.”
he cupped her face gently, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that had escaped down her cheek. “i promise. i’ll do whatever it takes. because i don’t want to lose you either.”
y/n’s breath hitched, her emotions swirling as she searched his eyes, looking for any sign of doubt. but all she saw was sincerity, love, and a deep regret for the pain he’d caused. she could feel the weight of his words, the shift in him, and it brought a sense of relief she hadn’t expected.
slowly, she leaned into his touch, letting her forehead rest against his, their breaths mingling in the quiet of the room. “i love you,” she whispered, her voice breaking just a little. “i need you to take care of yourself. for me, for you… for us.”
jude closed his eyes, his hold on her tightening as if he was afraid she might slip away. “i love you too, y/n. more than anything. and i’m going to do better. i swear.”
they stayed like that for a long moment, wrapped up in each other, the tension that had been simmering between them finally beginning to melt away. when y/n pulled back slightly, her eyes met his, and she saw the vulnerability there—the realness of his promise. she believed him.
“okay,” she said softly, offering him a small smile. “then we’ll figure this out. together.”
jude let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, his own smile breaking through the exhaustion and worry. “together,” he echoed.
and just like that, the weight that had been pressing down on them both seemed to lift, replaced by the warmth of their shared love and the promise of a better tomorrow.
they sat down on the couch, still holding hands, and for the first time in what felt like forever, y/n felt at peace. not because everything was perfect, but because they were in it together—fighting for each other, fighting for their future.
as they leaned into each other, jude pressed a soft kiss to her temple, his voice low and gentle. “after the euros, we’ll take that next step.”
y/n smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. “good. because i’m not going anywhere either.”
and in that quiet moment, as the sun dipped below the horizon, they both knew they were stronger together. there was still a long road ahead, but they were ready to face it, hand in hand.
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© PDRIESTA 2024
taglist — @sinners-98-world @stephiii29 @kcharlyy @landosgirlxoxo @judesthighveins @ilovelifes-world @cinderellawithashoe @imnyt @miniemonie2001 @lunamelona @treble-snot
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angelltheninth · 15 hours
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im a sucker for the electro men in wuwa... might i ask for calcharo, xiangli yao, and yuanwu having their s/o ride them for the first time? <:3
You have good taste in men Anon.
Pairing: Calcharo, Xiangli Yao, Yuanwu x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, orgasm encouragement, cock riding, hair-pulling (for Reader), clit stimulation, pussy slapping, brat taming, doggie style
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: You can say they have a... electrifying effect on me. Ha! No? I think it's funny.
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Calcharo chuckled when he heard you hiss as you were pulled back onto his cock. "Faster. Sweet little thing, ride my cock faster. Or do you want me to give you a little more incentive?" 
Before you could say yes he pulled your hair back harder, a tight fist against your scalp, forcing you back against his cock with a loud clap. It hurt in a good way. You only had so much space to move, enough to get in inch off his cock and then take it all back in. The distance you were able to move might be tiny but the speed at which you move wasn't, encouraged by the mercenary's hand in your hair.
Letting you have control over the thrusts was a temporary luxury. He didn't move an inch, you had to do all the work here.
"Definitely motivated enough now." You met his gaze for a second before shutting your eyes in pain from the next pull. "S-Sorry. Gonna make you come, soon." You promised, pussy pulsing around him every time he was balls deep in you.
Each time he tightened his grip so did your pussy tighten around his dick. "You want it baby? Ask me properly, like the whore that we both know you are." Calcharo taunted you, making you sob with need and your poor cunt so desperate to get his cum in it.
"Come inside me." You weren't gonna say please, your inner walls could do that for you. Finally he released his grip on you only to push your head against the bed as his cock sank in balls deep to empty itself in your womb. The new position didn't stop you from grinding your ass against him to get everything you could from him.
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Xiangli Yao was almost relaxed under you as you went up and down on his hard cock. He didn't even need to do anything in order to come, or to make you come either. But he doesn't want to be lazy.
"Let me do this for you, let me make my love come on my dick." He smiled from his position below you as his fingers found your clit and pressed it in quick, tight swipes. "There's that clench. I know what you like."
His fingers worked you up so fast but you didn't want to come yet, not until he did. But your legs didn't listen to you, turning liquid as your pussy walls fluttered around him. "Hold... me." You moaned out as you leaned against his chest and kept bucking your hips despite your mind being overtaken by pleasure.
"I've got you, always got you." He kissed your shoulder slowly, one hand still between your legs.
The other hand was on your hip, going down to your ass then back up. Your hips smacked down against his wildly, feeling his cock pulsing inside you and emptying ropes of seed soon after. You didn't stop moving.
Making a mess of you both, his cum staining both your stomach, thick and sticky and warm. "Messy. I don't mind, you know I don't, not when it's the result of this."
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Yuanwu rutted into your pussy with no intention of slowing down at all. "Babygirl, what's the matter, can't you meet my thrusts?"
You grunted as you tried to do so but you also enjoyed him fucking you. You didn't expect him to halt fully when he was half-way in your cunt. "What the fuck Yuanwu?!" You complained but were met with a slap on your exposed clit.
"Ride it. Go on, ride it if you want to come." He smirked down at you as he didn't move at all, but he wiggled his eyebrows in a challange. "Brat. Didn't you fucking hear me?" He slapped your pussy again. "If this is what I need to do, punish your cunt, then I will."
Secretly you wanted just that. With your pussy already sensitive it would almost hurt. Acompamying every wet slap was your moan and your hips grinding upwards, taking his cock to his balls. Empowerimg your orgasm further was his cock curved slightly upwards and hitting your sweetspot every time.
"Open up those legs. Let me see your cunt get full!" He grunted deeply as he sunk down on his hands, letting you hug him close and ride his cock like a dildo stuck on a wall.
"Look down then, Sir." He almost didn't want to but at the same time he wanted to see the exact moment when his cock sank balls deep and be emptied.
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piercedmorbid · 2 days
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heyyy!
i’d love a prompt abt the reader goes to a party with charlie, kirby, robbie, jill & olivia and she gets rlly drunk. charlie has had a crush on her for YEARS so he immediately starts taking care of her and being his super shy & sweet self <33
ugh i just love him so much <3
thank u! <3
𝗔𝗡𝗬𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 … —— charlie walker 🎥.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎୧‿̩͙ ˖︵ ꕀ⠀ ♱⠀ ꕀ ︵˖ ‿̩͙୨ pairing: charlie walker x fem!reader.
word count: 1,580
warnings / content: none! tooth-rotting fluff, mentions of alcohol, throwing up, charlie being an absolute dork, sweet lover boy yearning, a little bit of angst...
notes: I KNOW YOU SAID PROMPT BUT... i got carried away sorry... </3 thank you for this request ! so excited to write this + i hope you enjoy ... i love charlie so much my silly, silly lover boy. & maybe a part 2 ?? :0
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎୧‿̩͙ ˖︵ ꕀ⠀ ♱⠀ ꕀ ︵˖ ‿̩͙୨
his hand rested on the cool wood of the bathroom door, a relieved sigh leaving his lips as his eyes landed on you slouched against the bathtub.
"there you are."
charlie let his arm drop from the door as he approached you - your bleary eyes flicking up slowly to meet the familiar face with a dazed but welcome expression.
"charrr... hiii!" you slurred - waving at him with a soft smile - watching the way he crouched next to you with a flash of concern on his features but his usual stupidly cute lop-sided smile brushed against his lips when he saw that you were alright.
even as you were now - drunk on the bathroom floor, barely able to even form a coherent sentence without giggling - his throat suddenly felt dry... you were beautiful.
your hair was a little messy - strands sticking to your forehead and cheeks, lips still glossed and pretty from when kirby and olivia had helped you put some make-up on earlier during the night (though some of it had rubbed off on the various cups you sipped on during the party), and your outfit was gorgeous as always - hugging every single curve on your body in a way that was almost lethal and charlie had to fight every instinct in his body not to stare.
"yeah, well, just wanted to check up on you." he said. realising it sounded a little corny, a soft pink dusted his cheeks and he quickly added- "and- and, uh, robbie still won't stop flirting with olivia... it's painful to watch so i went looking for an escape."
"still?" you asked, baffled.
even before they entered the house party, robbie was planning all sorts of advances on olivia who looked nothing more than displeased at the idea and spent the entire night running away and avoiding the poor boy. charlie dramatically rubbed his temples at the thought and shook his head, "still. i mean seriously - he won't give up! kirby's too busy keeping an eye on jill to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid so i was left on babysitting duty."
honestly, you were beginning to feel a little lonely sat up here on your own but it was better than being downstairs with all the noise when you were this drunk. you hardly even remembered how you ended up this bad but you were happy that charlie was here to update you on the situation. he was always like that.
his eyes followed you wherever you went. effortlessly. you were the first thing in the room he looked for - if you weren't there, he would search for you. with you, it was easy. as easy as breathing - he could watch you, talk to you, be with you for days and still be fascinated with every little thing that you did. since the very beginning of the year, up until now, charlie had always always noticed you - starting off only as a distant admirer until he was lucky enough that you were introduced to him through jill and now he was closer to you than ever. closer to you than he had even imagined. he cherished every moment he had - no matter how small - the moment your fingers brushed slightly when you passed him a hand-out in class... or even when your eyes met for only a brief few seconds in the hallways - all of it, he recorded in his memory to replay to himself on those lonely nights in his bed, imagining the warmth of your body next to his.
he craved you so badly sometimes that it felt almost nauseous.
to feel his fingers graze the soft skin on your upper arm, tracing a line to your jaw - to feel his lips against your knuckles, your cheekbones, your forehead - to feel you curled up with your head on his chest, his fingers in your hair, rubbing soothing circles on your scalp until sleep took the both of you peacefully in the night. sometimes, he would squeeze his pillow against him - imagining it was your soft body he was embracing and he would close his eyes and imagine the way you would look at him. one day, he told himself, one day you would look at him with that bewitching gaze and tell him that you loved him and wanted him and needed him as badly as he needed you.
but, for now, this was the best he could have.
"i... don't feel too good..." you managed to mutter out, blinking to try and clear the blur from your vision.
"huh? are you- are you okay?" his brows skewed in worry as he leaned down to watch your expression, carefully.
"yeah i- oh god."
your mind was dizzy - the lights in the bathroom were too bright and you felt your stomach churn as you quickly pressed a hand to your mouth. oh fuck.
charlie seemed to know you better than you did as he quickly reached down, his slender fingers threading through your hair and pulling it back as he ushered you carefully to the edge of the toilet. he gently pulled the loose strands at the front away from your face as you threw up in the toilet -
"oh god - i'm so sorry..." you apologised quickly in between short gasps as you felt your throat burn. "i didn't mean for you to have to babysit me as well-"
"shh, shh, shh... it's okay, i don't mind." he hummed - his free hand trailing a soft line from your shoulder to your upper back as he rubbed soothing circles against your shirt. that was the truth. charlie really didn't mind. for you, he would do anything and... being able to take care of you right now? this was all he could ask for.
"i think you drank too much," he laughed - watching as you nodded, feeling a lot better now that the alcohol was out of your system. "um.. i-... want me to.. to get you some water?" he asked.
"would you? you're so, so sweet, char. honestly..."
charlie quickly brushed off the compliment but he couldn't deny the way his heart fluttered at those words. "alright, you stay here. i'll go grab you a drink... don't move, okay?"
"don't think i can..." you teased, with a little cough as you slumped against the bath tub again.
it wasn't long before he returned with two glasses of water and sat himself down in front of you, grabbing some of the toilet roll and reaching up to wipe around your mouth - cleaning up the lipstick that smudged a little and dabbing around your eyes to clear the small tears that escaped from when you threw up. so pretty - it was unfair. nothing you did deterred him... he was so utterly obsessed and devoted to you.
"here."
he brought the glass up to your lips, the cool water calming you down as you sipped gratefully - a hand reaching up to hold the glass, placed over charlie's own hand as you closed your eyes.
he caught his bottom lip between his teeth at your touch as you finished the first glass and thanked him again -
"could you... turn the lights off? 'm sorry.. 's too bright."
"huh? oh- o-of course!" he was eager to do anything to help. he reached up and flicked the light switch, letting the warm, orange glow of the hallway shine into the bathroom. a small, maybe even a 'seflish' pang of disappointment spread in his chest when he realised he had to let go of your hand but...
you nod - feeling your head rest against his shoulder, shuffling closer to feel his warmth. you wanted to be near him, wanted to just... just get comfortable. he smelt of shampoo, cotton and a small undertone of aftershave - it felt so familiar.
he stiffened at the contact of your head on his shoulder but he couldn't help the smile that stretched on his face, his hands slowly moving up to brush some of the strands out from your face. he stayed so still afraid that if he moved, you might change your mind and pull away from him.
the feeling of being close to him was so nice - you felt so warm but ...
"thank you again... really. you're the best." you sigh - "don't know what i'd do without you..."
"it's just water," he laughed, brushing it off but ...
his chest felt warm.
this was okay. for now, this was okay.
your head was resting on his shoulder and his hand hesitantly reached towards yours - gently intertwining your fingers and when he felt you squeeze his hand, he closed his eyes to savour the feeling. he wanted to continue taking care of you - ideally, he wanted to do more for you like tuck you into bed or something but... this was okay. more than.
yes, it was just water and, yes, you're just resting your head and you're just holding his hand. but he was grateful.
his heart panged with sentiment -
you were just friends.
he knew that he would never get what he wanted. but at least, just for tonight, he got very, very close.
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eurydia · 11 months
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- May I have this dance? - I thought you'd never ask.
fake dance scene with Zevlor, featuring my Tav, Saoirse ❤️
individual panels below
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secretsimpleness · 2 months
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Sometimes I want to bring Morrigan but then I remember I play as a face-tanking rogue and I bring Wynne. Warden Cousland, Morrigan, Wynne / Dragon Age Origins (c) Bioware
#dragon age#dragon age fan art#comic#morrigan#warden cousland#healer#bioware#dao#dragon age origins#hero of ferelden#cousland#wynne#I'm back. I guess.#I did not notice at first but apparently I took a break from tumblr. I've already had several breakdowns over the dashboard.#(turns out I was on the 'for you' tab rather than the 'following' tab. the theme had changed as well. absolutely insufferable.)#I've felt really unconnected for a while but it actually feels better now? as if my tumblr mutuals was the missing link.#very healthy and hot of me ngl#so. I had a two week holiday this year and they were instantly slurped up. it went so fast!#there was this big football thing the week before my holiday - basically teams of teens come from all around the world to play etc.#I heard a girl tell her teammates that 'I'd love to travel on this bus every morning; happy people all around you; just add some music...'#she was also very excited when the bridge opened. the 'happy people' around her sighed bitterly and leaned back for a ten minute wait.#it is thankfully over now. the bus home is no longer stuffed full of football teams. but it's a fun experience for the players etc etc etc#well. in other thrilling news I went to spy on our sister shops during my time off. to see what they do differently. maybe steal some ideas#one store was like an instagram post with fancy teacups and stylish outfits. who knew a second-hand store could be so boring.#the other was like a man-cave with furniture and a passively-aggressive note by the toys stating that 'if u break it u pay. idiot. tnx<3'.#the man-cave was my favourite :)#rant over now! take care and bye etc!
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acediaedeus · 2 months
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I know Byakuya was mad as hell when he found out Ichigo loves Shakespeare.
like, yes, they’ve settled their beef a long time ago, Ichigo likes Byakuya, Byakuya grudgingly respects Ichigo (at least after TYBW). BUT! there’s no way in hell Byakuya forgets about the whole “stealing Rukia’s Shinigami powers” turn ‘ryoka boy invasion’ thing. and there’s also no doubt in my mind that he’s one of those ppl who think delinquent = bad student. Byakuya views him as brash and impulsive, thus Ichigo having “refined” tastes in literature would make him combust on the spot.
bonus: he definitely claimed Ichigo can’t read, back in his ultimate hater era.
when he comes to terms with these news he begins supplying Ichigo with Soul Society’s literature. they have a book club together, trust.
proof I’m not making this shit up:
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the Avatar AU is coming, trust. it’s just really long and complicated, and not actually finished yet, lol. so yeah, have this for now.
also, it made me think of the other Avatar AU (the one with the blue ppl), so I’ll maybe write that too??? that coke I be snorting at night is potent, lmao.
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obessivedork · 8 months
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Was.... that supposed to be the end of FO4? 😐 Like once you've blown up the Institute you get this random nostalgic slideshow that has nothing to do with ANYTHING and that's it? You beat the game! Good for you! But we'll place you back into the world to keep playing I fucking guess? What's going to happen to your friends and The Commonwealth with all the decisions you made?😐 Don't ask us! Not like we're going to make an RPG with the infamous RPG IP, that would be silly!
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granitxhka · 10 months
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you guys! :)
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ame-to-ame · 3 months
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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mwagneto · 1 year
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okay google how do i move out of eastern europe but stay in the eu but go somewhere i speak the language but somewhere that has healthcare and somewhere where i dont need to become a construction worker and also somewhere that is not germany. thanks
#i wanna go to aotearoa I've always wanted to but it's so FAR AWAY. also i need somewhere cold also i#love authentic gothic buildings too much to leave europe. but omfggggg#like it's truly so. i dont want to move somewhere where english isnt a main language but the#uk is out and ireland is unlikely and canada is just somewhat nicer french usa and nz is 4 days travel away. blows up#whatever i have 4 semesters of uni left to think about it. it just feels like im#hurtling full speed at the inevitability of living the rest of my life in Germany#i dont want to live in germany idek why but im sooo. like omg nooo 😭😭😭#partly because it's such a cliché but also coz it's such a vacation country for me like we#went there for vacation like. unironically at least 3 times every single year#insert joke abt *getting back at the 10000000000 german tourists that come to hungary every day* that I'm too sleepy to make#it's so . like i used to have a specific goal in mind (uk ☹️) but then SOMEONE had to go and leave the eu#and also the uk sucks fat shit like csöbörből vödörbe omg. but now i have no#real goal so im just drifting w the vague knowledge that any second now I'll have to pack all my#shit up and escape before it's too late. but where 😀😀😀#i have no qualms abt leaving my f*mily behind but I'll miss budapest#and if i left Europe I'd miss it too especially coz even canada feels really far let alone nz which yknow. 3-4 days of travel#it's the lack of goals that's killing me like OMFGG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK HARD AND#STRIVE FOR SMTG WHEN I HAVE NOTHING SPECIFIC IN MIND...#i mean ''get the fuck out'' is something but it's not Enough. i need to be insane about a#place that's accessible. all the cities/locations im crazy about are inaccessible for one reason or another#bristol and wales are in the uk. nz is on the exact opposite side of the planet. life so sad.#canada is the most likely one honestly but like omgggg. godddddjfdnffnfjfmmf#they should invent a budapest that's not in hungary. they should invent a hungary that isn't comically awful#barking#ok to rb#eastern europe#like im fluent in 3 languages and i can get by in like 10 other ones i Could brush up on any language relatively quickly if it came to that#but it's like. 1. I'd have to pick a location 2. learning a new language also means#getting an entire new personality as well which yknow. idk if i have the capacity for another one rn#i should just become fluent in the ones im somewhat good at but idk which to pick
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digifag · 2 years
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me? in bed before 2?? what are the damn odds
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arolesbianism · 6 months
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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