#what do i even watch for 🙄🙄 wife is gone

[skitskatdacat63]

I DONT WANNA WATCH JJK ANYMORE

[f0point5]

As if you couldn't turn Max watching her breathe into a masterpiece, don't lie🙄 idk maybe they're driving around in her new car and they coincidentally see Elliot😂 would be a nice reprieve from *clenched teeth* freddie

Sooo.

I tried to incorporate a bit of Max watching her just breathe because it’s funny. But also Elliot. But also the car.

But also mostly I was just freaking out because the male perspective is so alien to me. This might suck. We’re going to be KIND if it sucks because I’m just a girl okay men don’t make sense to me.

Anyway, I’m deciding to name this one because this is what I was listening to when I wrote it.

✨set during winter break✨

Call It What You Want To

“How do you take this long to get ready?” Max groans in frustration, dragging his hand over his face.

He’s been waiting 45 minutes. Not the longest he’s ever waited for you, but he’s been looking forward to this night out for two whole days. After everything that’s gone on in the last couple of weeks, and how none of that is likely to be resolved before Testing next week, he could really use a drink or twelve.

“I’m almost done,” he hears you call back, your tone telling him you’re unbothered by leaving him waiting. “Do you want everyone to think you have an ugly girlfriend?”

Max opens his mouth to reply but closes it just as quickly. What is he supposed to say to that? That no one on earth has ever thought his girlfriend is anything less than breathtakingly beautiful, so much so that it stopped him for thinking you could ever be his girlfriend more than once? That sometimes during a race he looks at the tv screens on the track in case you’re on camera? That whenever he passes the picture of you in his hallway he thinks he’d have hung it up even if he didn’t know you, because you’d still be the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen? No. He’s not saying any of that. Three months is way too soon to let you know that you could use his balls as earrings. It’s not like you need a bigger head.

“I want my girlfriend to get to the club before it closes,” he shouts, stifling a smile. It’s been three months, but he still likes saying girlfriend.

“You’re such a drama queen,” he hears you say, your voice getting closer as you make your way to the living room. “We can’t all just put on a t-shirt with a funny saying on it and-“

You stop when you round the couch and finally notice him staring at your slinky black satin dress. Actually, he’s staring at the parts of you not covered by the dress, which gives him a lot to stare at. He might just give everyone what they want and quit driving if they could promise him he’d only have to lol at you in this dress for the rest of his life.

“What?” You ask him, which has him blinking furiously, trying to focus. You’re holding out a pair of heels to him, the ones you bought with the gift card his dad’s wife had given you for your birthday.

“Nothing,” he says, taking the shoes from you. He shifts off the couch to kneel in front you, lifting your leg to put the shoes on your foot and do up the buckle. “You look good,”

Above him, he hears you chuckle, and then your fingers run through his hair. You’re petting him like a cat, and he’ll be damned if he ever admits how close he feels to purring.

“Why does that still sound like it’s painful for you to admit?” You tease, using a bit more of your nails on the final run through of his hair.

“It’s not painful,” he tells you winding the glittering strap around your ankle.

It’s not painful. Sometimes it’s a lump in his throat, or a tightening in his chest. Sometimes, when he’s on one knee in front of you like he is now, it’s an urge to say something he can’t yet find the words for. But no, it’s not painful.

He finishes with your other shoe, squeezing your calf gently before placing a kiss on the inside of your knee.

“You’re just painfully gorgeous,” he says as he gets to his feet. “Can we go?”

You roll your eyes at him with with a smile. “Your car or mine?”

********************

He chooses to take your car. Every time he gets in your Ferrari, he thinks about Vegas. He drives it often.

He weaves through the streets of Monaco with one hand on your thigh, and he can’t remember where the fuck he was putting that hand before you.

“The thing is, unless the contract gets sorted next week, he’s totally fucked,” you’re saying as Max turns onto Avenue Princesse Grace. There’s a gaggle of people outside with their phones out. Simply fucking lovely. “You’re not listening to me are you?”

Max turns to you, squeezing your thigh as the car slows. “Of course I am, Engel. Do me a favour? Just say fuck again, a bit slower,”

“You’re twelve,”

“You would not have gone out with me at twelve,” Max jokes, slowing to a stop in front of Twiga as a valet comes towards the car.

“You were cute at twelve,” you say, “fourteen is where it started to go haywire,”

Before he can respond, you’re getting out of the car, and immediately the camera phones are focused on you. Max follows you out, handing the keys to the valet as he tries to ignore the feeling of being hunted. He wonders if they know he can hear every word they’re saying. He wonders if they’d like him to take their picture and post it all over the internet. He watches you slink through the crowd towards him, not even bothering to pretend you’re not being watched.

It’s ironic, he thinks, he brings the spotlight, but you’re the one who shines in it.

Inside the lobby, you head straight for the elevator while he talks to the woman at the front desk- it’s a well rehearsed routine. Lando isn’t here yet, typical. He asks if they can send over some St. Tropez cocktails and some gin tonics, and texts Lando to hurry up, before turning to join you at the lifts.

Except, he notices, you’re not alone. You’re standing by the lifts, with a big smile on your face, explaining something to a guy with a familiarly large head.

Max has seen Elliot around a couple of times. Monaco is stupidly small, especially in the winter when it’s nearly empty. The two men always studiously ignore each other, because what is there to say? Max doesn’t know if Elliot knows that you’re together now, and he knows it shouldn’t matter, but it does.

He didn’t hate Elliot in Austin, even though he’d planned to. But then they’d met and Max found he really couldn’t hate someone who was as smitten with you as he was, as he’d always been.

He finds that he kind of hates Elliot now, though, as he gets close enough to hear you giggle at something.

“No. It was actually okay, just cold, you know?“ you stop when Max places a hand on the small of your back, where you dress is low enough that he’s touching your skin. You turn to him. “Oh, hey. Is Lando here?”

Max shakes his head.

“Typical.” You sigh. “Max, you remember Elliot, right?”

“Yeah.” He says, and they shake hands. How are you?”

“Can’t complain,” Elliot says with a shrug. His shirt matches your dress. Fuck him.

“Well, you can if you want,” Max jokes, except it’s not a joke because he hates those Britishisms. If you want to say something just say it. And if things are fine and you have nothing to complain about why make it sound- he just doesn’t like the guy. And he doesn’t like that you liked the guy.

Mercifully, the lift arrives, and when it does, Max steps aside.

“You take this one,” he says, gesturing to the open lift. Elliot looks like he wants to refuse out of politeness in the way only English people do, so Max forces himself to put everyone out of their misery. “It’s the least I can do,”

It’s such a dickhead thing to say, but he can’t help but smirk, and it does the trick. Elliot gives both of you a tight lipped smile and steps into the lift, pulling out his phone as the door closes.

You turn to face him, his hand falling away from your back as you fix him with a quizzical look. He waits for you to chastise him for his comment, then wonders fleetingly if you’re comparing him, in his silly t-shirt and tight jeans, to Elliot in his perfectly crisp chinos. Then he finds himself staring at your lips.

“Oh, right,” you say suddenly, tapping his shoulder. “That’s what I was saying. So this builder says he’s ordered all the materials, but he has to no contract. And my dad…”

Max listens to you talk, winding his arms around your waist in a way he’s still getting used to, and you smile at him in a way he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to. He promises himself then never to get angry with you when you’re getting ready. You’re worth the wait.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Butterscotch Harlow

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, neelamthadhani, 2forwoyne, taylorrooks, blancahood, and 1,283,052 others

y/ninsta: A little while ago, I surprised smush with a puppy (even though he said no more pets). the two have finally warmed up to each other and all she does is terrorize him lmao

jackharlow: I like how you find my pain humorous smh urbanwyatt: I still can't believe yall literally have fourteen pets now lilnasx: urbanwyatt you mean fifteen, they have druski2funny druski2funny: what the actual fuck do yall be on for me to constantly get dragged like this?!?!? 2forwoyne: yall might as well open up your home and sell tickets because yall live in a damn zoo y/ninsta: all yall can kiss my ass because who is over here every damn week trying to get fed? not too much on my babies. blancahood: you have 3 real babies, pay them some attention y/ninsta: B, I have 5 children. how quickly you forget. jackharlow: who the hell is four and five?!?!? dualipa: jackharlow you and Urban urbanwyatt: NOW WHY AM I ALWAYS IN IT?! y/ninsta: dualipa you a real one for that softtcurse: urbanwyatt because your ass is always doing something smh jackharlow: dualipa and now here you come terrorizing me too smh dualipa: jackharlow I was nice about it but I can be mean. watch that tone. jackharlow: dualipa you better not start with me. I swear yall want me bald by 30. jackandy/naremyparents: I'm convinced that soon y/ninsta will find a way to buy an elephant. mark my words. urbandjack26: jackandy/naremyparents she probably already has one and just keeps it at the actual zoo in Louisville jackharlow: DO NOT GIVE HER ANY IDEAS y/ninsta: 👀👀👀 jackharlow: y/ninsta baby don't you dare y/ninsta: jackharlow BRB

Liked by y/ninsta, druski2funny, claybornharlow, urbanwyatt, maggieharlow, quiiso, jessicakelce, and 1,943,271 others

jackharlow: your shirt says mother so please come and get this puppy. I have not known peace since you bought her 😭

urbanwyatt: jackharlow let's be real for a second. you haven't known peace since you got married to y/ninsta taylorrooks: URBAN! TAKE IT BACK BEFORE SHE SEES IT! 2forwoyne: urbanwyatt not your wanting best friend to kick your ass jackharlow: urbanwyatt you just asking to die tonight aren't you? y/ninsta: I heard I've been summoned and urbanwyatt don't go to sleep tonight urbanwyatt: y/ninsta not my fault you terrorize my best friend! y/ninsta: urbanwyatt is this about me forgetting to make you spaghetti the other day? because right now your ass is acting outta pocket. don't let that mouth of yours get you hair cut off and weed stolen theestallion: Y/N PLEASEEEEEEE blancahood: y/ninsta if you steal it, save me some yungskylark: why when it's taco tuesday, someone in PG acts like they don't have no got damn sense smh shloob_: urbanwyatt my stomach is making whale mating calls. you better fix this shit so she feeds us. urbanwyatt: I SAID WHAT I SAID y/ninsta: urby, you asked for it smh jackharlow: like not too much on my baby now but urb actually claimed me as his best friend for once so I call this day a win y/ninsta: look at my pookie defending me and you were always the first best friend, he just loves me more jackharlow: 🙄🙄🙄

yungskylark: he need to defend my stomach from biting the rest of my insides quiiso: jackharlow IT'S NOT NO WIN WHEN WE'RE HUNGRY, TF? jackharlow: quiiso oh imma eat regardless. idc what happens to yall lmaoooo saweetie: jackharlow just nasty as hell as usual jackharlow: saweetie HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIFE?!?! saweetie: jackharlow for the billionth time, YES! jackharlow: saweetie just making sure lol

Liked by y/ninsta, saweetie, urbanwyatt, theestallion, privategarden, theshaderoom, neelamthadhani, and 3,281,937 others

jackharlow: you see what she does in my time of need? LEAVES ME 😭

But my wife a baddie 😍😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow you are so damn dramatic! I'm only going to be gone for two days! but love you smush. claybornharlow: oh, so the babies have to eat jack's cooking? maggieharlow come save your grandchildren! jackharlow: HEY! THEY'RE FINE! dualipa: I highly doubt that jackharlow: dualipa hop off the nearest cliff y/ninsta: I pumped enough and there's more in the freezer, along with formula and the baby food I made. they're good! jackharlow: umm y/ninsta...... I think I only have enough for a few more hours y/ninsta: WHAT blancahood: oh good lord smh jackharlow: y/ninsta axel is eating like he has never seen food in his entire life maggieharlow: smh jackharlow if you needed me, why didn't you call? jackharlow: maggieharlow I got it handled! claybornharlow: only thing jackharlow has a handle on is.... hmm.... I'm at a loss saweetie: clay, pleaseeeee lmao urbandjack26: chaos in the Harlow household lol neelamthadhani: and jackharlow has the nerve to want more children smh handle those three first! y/ninsta: jackharlow is a good daddy! but his way of doing things concerns me sometimes jackharlow: y/ninsta I know I'm a good daddy. to my triplets and my wife. y/ninsta: jackharlow I'm taking my compliment back smh

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, saweetie, estgee, champagnepapi, zackbia, taylorrooks, and 1,928,036 others

y/ninsta: pleading for my damn help, and once I get home, this is what I see 🙄🙄

jackharlow: and that was the first decent amount of sleep that I got since you left y/ninsta: jackharlow I see little miss kept guard while you slept. I told you she loves you. jackandy/naremyparents: are yall gonna tell us her name now?!?!? jackharlow: jackandy/naremyparents I want to protect her privacy urbanwyatt: this man has officially lost it lmao saweetie: privacy? she literally pees and shits outside for the world to see jackharlow: not too much on my baby now! she still deserves privacy! claybornharlow: jack, she's a dog jackharlow: claybornharlow and? she's MY dog and what I say goes blancahood: that man don't know how to act now that he has his own pet quiiso: y/ninsta please get your husband lmao y/ninsta: quiiso he's a lost cause. I tried to come close to him while she was next to him and long story short, she is very territorial of him. she likes me, but he's her go to person. like sis, I was here first. show your mom some respect lmao urbanwyatt: not y/n finally having to compete for jack's heart y/ninsta: urbanwyatt he lowkey might divorce me to be able to have all of his attention on her jackharlow: I AM NOT THAT BAD neelamthadhani: jackharlow who lied to you? smh y/ninsta: jackharlow just tell everyone her name! jackharlow: y/ninsta no. that's her business and no one else's. jackandy/naremyparents: she probably doesn't even have one jackharlow: YES SHE DOES! If yall can guess it, I'll tell you saweetie: wait, what did yall end up deciding because it was down to two names urbandjack26: probably named her alcatraz y/ninsta: urbandjack26 over my dead body lmao allthingsy/n: hmm..... Louisville related? y/ninsta: allthingsy/n no for once lol jackandurbupdates: toffee y/ninsta: getting warmer jackandy/naremyparents: caramel? y/ninsta: getting closer! jackharlow: yall get on my nerves jackandurb26: BUTTERSCOTCH! BUTTERSCOTCH HARLOW! jackharlow: 😒😒😒😒😒 jackandurb26: well?!?!? jackharlow: I'm logging out y/ninsta: 😭😭😭😭

[mossyivy]

Imagine if you finally give into Leon and give him that other baby he’s been nagging at you for…🤭

You’d both announce it to your little girl by surprising her with a shirt that says ‘Big sister!’ Or something like that, and she’s very much start crying as soon as you two tell her what it says and means.

She’d quite literally start sobbing and throwing a tantrum, saying that ‘Daddy’s gonna forget about me!’ ‘Daddy’s gonna love the baby more than me!’ Or ‘The baby’s gonna take daddy from me!’ Sometimes along those lines. You couldn’t help but laugh, reassuring her that this baby didn’t mean that she’d be forgotten or less loved.

As the months flew by, your little girl would definitely fall asleep against your bump, saying it was ‘to listen to her heartbeat.’ Because yes, the two of you are having another little princess.

Leon would come home after a mission, seeing the two of you on the couch, taking a little nap together. Head against your belly, patting your little girls back as she slept. How cute.

- Anon! 🎀

🎀anon you beautiful fuck I love you so much!

(Just for future reference I'll be calling these baby girls Violetta 'Violet' (oldest) and Cecilia (youngest).

Violet's upset hearing the news. Inconsolable at first, even threatens to runaway to her Uncle Chris's house to go live with him, his wife (aunt) and her 3 cousins (2 girls and 1 boy). But then she finds out that since she'll be getting a baby sister they need space in her room for the baby so they end up turning the basement into a giant playroom and suddenly this baby is the greatest thing to happen to her.

Ofc, she'll warm up to the baby. Cuddle up to her mommy when daddy's away, promising him to look after her because she knows how daddy gets when he's away from home and her. She can only imagine what he's thinking leaving her, mommy and a baby in her belly!

Immediately starts trying to take Leon's responsibilities. Even if he's only gone for a week Violet's doing daddy's job. Dishes, taking care of the yard (poorly but at least she tried) watering the plants. You wouldn't let her do any repairs and that upset her but she got over it pretty fast. But you didn't realize how often she actually paid attention to Leon's mannerisms until there was a storm coming while he's away. You call for her in the house. Violet doesn't respond...

You start panicking thinking maybe she went outside and then you open the front door. You see her standing on the porch staring out at the dark clouds. Hands on her hips... just like Leon does when he's thinking.

"'Bout a couple miles out." She has no idea wtf that means, but daddy says it every time so she does. You end up taking a picture of her staring out at the clouds from the front door and send it to your husband captioned 'Come get your child 🙄'

Every night he's gone though you two cuddle and end up sleeping in the big bed while Violet reads her books to the baby. Even watching movies together.

Leon ends up coming home a day early and walks in after dinner to find you and Violet curled up on the couch. Her little head on your belly. Leon just smiles, moving to curl up to you on the open side after giving Violet a kiss on the head. He puts his head on your shoulder and hand on your belly and feels the baby kick against his hand.

He's exhausted but so happy to be home. And he gets to come home to this everytime he leaves...

[agendabymooner]

jollibee, madrid and all that romance fiasco ! oscar p. x ofc (filipino!gen z!ofc)

summary: carlos sainz and his wife, magda, were heading back to spain after taking her and her cousins to the final race before the summer break. they hoped to have a decent break but their wishes were long gone as soon as the mclaren drivers told them about their plans to spend their week in madrid - where the couple conveniently lived.

OR oscar piastri had the fattest crush on magda's cousin, paloma 'lomi' san pedro, and needless to say, he wasn't even making it less obvious as he purchased a ticket to madrid just so he could spend his time with her. was he only looking for that summer romance or did he just fall in love with carlos' in-law?

content warning: use of explicit language, oscar and ofc shitting on each other, tagalog dialogues and translation ahead (i'm not as good as i used to be at speaking it, sorry lads), carlos sainz x ofc, mentions of alcohol use, fictional brother character (niño san pedro), carlos has a close relationship with his in-laws, A LOT OF JOLLIBEE, lando norris and oscar piastri being cultured (filipino), filo humour, lowkey protective!carlos

note: melody is in progress and i gotta let this out because i've been looking at too much unhinged filipino memes today. enjoy xx

masterlist

tagged carlossainzjr, charles_leclerc, landonorris, monamagdalena, ninojames

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, charles_leclerc

monamagdalena "rich in-law" 😭 liked by lomisanpedro

carlossainzjr you weren't "forced" to wear my number 🙄 get it right hermana liked by lomisanpedro

lomisanpedro ur right. i asked for charles' number and they just conveniently "ran out" of my size 🤔

landonorris look at that handsome man in papaya and black tho 🥵 liked by lomisanpedro

lomisanpedro i'm gonna pretend i haven't seen this comment 😕

landonorris guys i think she's a charles leclerc fan liked and pinned by lomisanpedro

oscarpiastri i have a lot of oscar piastri shirts in your size 😊 liked by lomisanpedro

ninojames what 😄

lomisanpedro how do u know my size 🧐

oscarpiastri i've been looking, observing and mentally measuring

carlossainzjr oscarpiastri compadre do you wanna repeat what you just said?

landonorris don't mind me i'm just watching 🍿🥤

logansargeant so you're the girl he's ogling throughout the week??? liked by lomisanpedro

lomisanpedro and you're the florida boy? 🤓

logansargeant fair enough. nice to meet you though 🤠

lomisanpedro likewise sarge 🤠

carlossainzjr posted a new story !!!

tagged ninojames, lomisanpedro, landonorris, oscarpiastri, carlossainzjr

liked by logansargeant, alex_albon, georgerussell63

user1 i just know it hits different spending your vacation in a filipino-spanish household 😭 liked by monamagdalena

monamagdalena there's a lot of "ordinary" volume arguments that's for sure 😅

user2 rip oscar's vocal chords. i know it's barely there but it must've abandoned him the moment the sainz-san pedros pulled up the karaoke liked by monamagdalena

monamagdalena landonorris might have slipped some tequila to get the party going for oscar 🙃

mclarenf1 lando we taught you better than this

landonorris mclarenf1 what happened to "one more shot lando!"

mclarenf1 i don't like these accusations, lando.

user3 i can just imagine lando, carlos and oscar yelling "THAT'S NOT HOW DRS WORKS" at your cousins lmfaooo 🤣 liked by monamagdalena

monamagdalena yeah my cousins live to give carlitos a headache every once in a while - seeing as they live in philippines and all

carlossainzjr we should have a daycare, mi corazon, because we don't get paid enough for this liked by monamagdalena

monamagdalena i agree bebe, if anything we lose more than we earn money 🥲

ninojames stop lying to me carlossainzjr you literally helped me get my tourist visa because you said "you wanted to see your favourite cousin"

lomisanpedro oop- lemme just send this to caco rq 🤭

carlossainzjr ay lomisanpedro you do that, i'm not gonna set up the ac in your room 😒 see how long you'll withstand the heat in spain

lomisanpedro i live in ph but yes po master 😇

lomisanpedro if i have to go golfing one more time, i'm gonna hit you with the club landonorris carlossainzjr ninojames

ninojames speak for urself lmfao

landonorris it's ok i can take it paloma 🤪

carlossainzjr watch your words landonorris

landonorris that's not what i meant ??? 🤬

oscarpiastri barca did good last night no? liked by monamagdalena

monamagdalena heheheh carlossainzjr what do you think?

lomisanpedro carlossainzjr you should've shot him in the foot with the paintball when you had the chance 🤡

carlossainzjr i really should have.

landonorris that's tactical and against the fia rules carlos know better.

mclarenf1 yeah what landonorris said ^^

oscarpiastri that is incredibly mean of you, lomisanpedro 🥲

lomisanpedro show me how you cry rq??

tagged landonorris, oscarpiastri, lomisanpedro

liked by carlossainzjr and monamagdalena

monamagdalena putang ina pati pa naman sa spain, y'an pa din kinakain niyo? what the fuck, that's (jollibee) what you guys are still eating even in spain? liked by ninojames

ninojames patingin nga kung pa'no yung galit na mukha ate hahahaha ate, show me how you make an angry face

lomisanpedro ba't ka inggit lmaooooo why are you jealous

monamagdalena hoy lomi at niño, nagluto ako kanina di niyo ba kinain 'yon? i cooked earlier today, didn't you guys eat it?

lomisanpedro maarte yung mga bisita mo madam bertud. your guests are picky, madam bertud.

oscarpiastri monamagdalena I AM NOT picky, do not listen to what that gremlin is telling you

landonorris we ate and even washed the pot of sinigang so that gremlin is lying

lomisanpedro this gremlin is her cousin and how tf do y'all know what we're saying-

landonorris we're very smart men

oscarpiastri i'm a diplomat on the side

carlossainzjr NIÑO YOU AND LANDO JUST RACKED UP OUR BILL FOR DOING THAT TO OUR OVEN 🤬 liked by ninojames

ninojames lando was teaching me his dj skills 😕

carlossainzjr DONT MESS WITH THE OVEN LANDOOOO

landonorris we were trying to get lit 😭 you literally had nothing in there but uno and monopoly wtf were we supposed to do???

carlossainzjr i don't know? not play with fire and not rack up our house bill?

oscarpiastri are we having a filipino language session tomorrow then? liked by ninojames

ninojames with tequila?

oscarpiastri i found their stash so yeah with tequila- we should get some bucket of chickens for the session too :)

landonorris wag puro pulutan, dapat inom din. don't just eat, you have to drink too. liked and pinned by ninojames

lomisanpedro I HAVE TAUGHT YOU WELL, YOUNG PADAWAN 🤩

ninojames monamagdalena rate my teaching skills ate magda

monamagdalena what are you guys teaching these two??? 😭

oscarpiastri the basics magda 😊

INCOMING: dog show 😎 (oscar) SENDER: my pal(oma) 🐝 (paloma)

tagged jollibee, lomisanpedro

liked by carlossainzjr, logansargeant, landonorris

user1 BRO HARD LAUNCHED HIS CRUSH WTF 😭 what god did you pray to?

user2 puro jollibee si bro edi sana nag pinas ka na lang 😭 bro eats a lot of jollibee like you should've just gone to philippines instead

user3 madrid is paloma san pedro, in case you guys didn't know 🤭

landonorris god you are so whipped

mclarenf1 jollibee x mclaren when? 👀

jollibee when there's a philippine grand prix 🐝

ninojames oh so you ditched our session for this? for this ugly ass? liked by oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri we got some palabok and two buckets of chicken joy and we're otw home 😅

ninojames ok maybe i can let you slip for once

lomisanpedro you are so annoying liked by oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri annoyingly considerate when it comes to you because you wanted jollibee this morning 🤭😊

user4 there is too much filipino rizz within pastry guys i think he wins this one

logansargeant was this why you've been rejecting my facetimes today?

oscarpiastri you can wait. jollibee can't.

user5 i'm sorry logan but i agree with him this time

user6 him tagging jollibee 😭 this man is clearly obsessed

bonus !!!

PS the fictional san pedro people

ramona magdalena 'magda' (ibañez) san pedro sainz (carlos' wife)

niño james (balagtas) san pedro (carlos' cousin-in-law)

paloma 'lomi' (balagtas) san pedro (also carlos' in-law)

[https-harlow]

Baby #3 Pregnancy announcement insta au

A/N this has been sitting in my drafts unfinished since march 🫣 also, this series has no face claim, I just happened to find pictures that all matched and I liked them so I used them.

Liked by Jackfan34, Jackfan56, Randomaccount, Jackhater1, and 29,472 others

EntertainmentTonight Jack Harlow walked the 2023 Grammy's red carpet alone tonight. This marks the first red carpet he's walked without wife Y/N by his side. Could this mean trouble in paradise for the couple who has currently has two kids together? In our interview with Jack, he says no. Watch the moment in the interview where Jack talks about his wife and judge for yourself.

*Video*

"So, we've noticed the absence of one person with you Jack, your wife Y/N, is she supporting you tonight?" The interviewer asked Jack.

"Oh, Y/N is here with me, she just decided not to walk with me, but she's here supporting me. I barely go anywhere without Y/N, I'm sure it pisses my team off sometimes." Jack answered, laughing softly. "Hasn't changed since we were 16, and that's not changing now."

You and Jack decided you wanted to keep the pregnancy to yourselves for awhile, so between keeping your pregnancy a secret and because you had still been nauseous from your morning sickness, you decided not to walk with Jack. You were only 4 months pregnant, but you were showing, so if you would have walked, you would have had to announce your pregnancy.

"Does it feel weird walking without her? Since this is the first time you've ever been on a red carpet without her?" They asked.

"It does feel weird walking without her, but she'll be back by my side once I get inside, so that's all that matters." Jack answered.

"And where are your kids tonight?" They asked.

"The girls are at home with their grandparents, we're only here for the weekend and my parents love having them, and the girls are always begging to have sleepovers with them, so we decided to make it a little parents getaway weekend. We don't really do award shows with them, they came to watch me host the MTV VMA's but other then that, we try to keep it separate. I'd rather them be having fun at home then stuck in a hotel room since we're barely gone 48 hours." Jack answered.

Jackfan27 Why did Y/N not do the red carpet if she's there 😣

Jackfan98 What if he's lying and she's not there, I mean he did seem off all night

Jackfan33 Yourusername probably filed for divorce. Now I can have Jack all to myself!! 🥰

JackandY/Nfan08 They aren’t getting divorced, they just like privacy

Jackhater28 Y/N probably realized she can do better then him

Jackfan37 I swear, if they ever get divorced I’m going to cry

Jackfan52 Jack said they are good, I don’t know why we’re even entertaining this random drama.

Jackfan65 Are there any pictures of her there at all??

Jackfan70 I saw someone who looked like her in one picture but it wasn’t clear enough to tell for sure.

Liked by Jackharlow, Claybornharlow, Urbanwyatt, Selenosunni, Jackfan7 and 2,382,493 others

Yourusername I get photoshoots, and Urbanwyatt gets my friendship in return. Oh and surprise, baby #3 in July.

Jackharlow I love you I love you I love you

Jackharlow Can’t wait for Paisley and Olive to officially be big sisters

Urbanwyatt Wait, I thought you two were getting divorced 🤔

Jackharlow 🙄 Never

Yourusername Who knew my morning sickness, that doesn’t just happen in the morning, would spark divorce rumors?

Jackharlow I’ve been in love with you since highschool, that isn’t changing now

Yourusername I love you too, forever.

Jackharlow Forever❤️

Urbanwyatt I’m so happy for you both, but I feel like I’m getting the short end of this deal here

Yourusername What do you mean? My friendship is priceless

Urbanwyatt 🙄

Urbanwyatt Sure okay

Urbanwyatt I'm kidding, your friendship is worth more then the photoshoots I give you

Yourusername That's what I thought

ClaybornHarlow So excited to be an uncle again

Yourusername Thank you for being such a good uncle to our kids, we all love you!

Cozane Hardest secret to keep

Jackfan81 Blue jacket 👀 Are we getting a Harlow baby boy 👀

JackandY/Nfan03 Blue jacket and pink flowers, we aren't really getting any hints are we 😫

JackandUrbanfan42 Starting to think Jack's rapped about using condoms more then he's used them

Jackfan439 OMG another baby 😭

Jackfan372 I knew they weren't getting a divorce

Jackfan41 Damn do you two have any other hobbies, give her a break Jack.

Jackharlow I mean, can you blame me 🥵

Yourusername ......

Liked by Yourusername, Urbanwyatt, Cozane, Claybornharlow, and 3,482,420 others

Jackharlow Family of 5 soon. July 2023.

(Comments on this post have been partially restricted)

Urbanwyatt 📸 me

Yourusername Love you, can't wait to officially be a family of 5, but I can wait to take 3 kids under 6 on tour.

Jackharlow Don't remind me that Paisley's going to be 6 soon, I'm not ready

Yourusername Me either, I want her to stay little forever

Urbanwyatt Damn, I don't want to think about that either

Cozane I know we're only 25, but Paisley being almost 6 makes me feel so old

Jackharlow How do you think I feel?

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree @harlowslefttoe @twerkforambrose @jackmans-poison @ilovenudy @taniapri @killatravtramp @easternparkway @macey234 @toocriticalharlow @lightsoutstyles @rachxc13 @iknowdatsrightbih @idktbh101 @blossomluvv

[madalice31]

It’s annoying that I keep seeing articles talking about Aaron Taylor Johnson and his wife and how they’re so flabbergasted by everyone’s “fascination” with their age gap.

🙄

Like literally she was 42 and he was 18 when they met and started dating. Hell he might have been 17 going on 18 but i can’t remember. On one of his first movie projects I might add, like this was before Kickass. And she directed him in that first movie. In fact, by the time kick ass two rolled around I think they were already married. She married him before he even turned 21.

You can’t tell me he was not groomed. That’s just point blank. There has been a power dynamic imbalance since they got together. I mean seriously, he was a year older than her oldest kid.

The white media won’t drag her like the black media dragged Draya tho. They’ll just smile and nod and say it’s okay now that he’s in his 30s.

But let’s not sit here and act like this shit is normal. Notice how she’s had a grip on his career ever since? She’s literally a director and producer in the industry. She has weight. This man barely does anything with a romantic interest and I guarantee he would be in a lot more movies if he wasn’t married to her. And most likely he would have much larger parts in the films too. Like aside from bullet train, he’s had such a minute part in every other movie. My bf and I would get excited to see his name attached to a film, only to watch it and realize he has such a small role. It’s like they use his name for clout. Like I’m still trying to remember when he pops up in Tenant. And his name is never top billed when it should be.

I think Kraven will be the first movie he leads since the A Million Little Pieces movie, and he was directed by his wife in that as well! She overly involves herself in his career. She claims they “take turns” on projects so they’re not apart from each other for too long. But it seems his career suffers the most from that arrangement because again, it’s not like he’s off for months and months on a project. He’s not the lead! So he’s there for maybe a few weeks and he’s back home. Hell in a recent interview she was complaining about being away from him for 6 weeks (the longest they’ve been apart) and how they were “never doing that again.” This man is doing press tours for a project she has nothing to do with and and she’s coming with him to every interview. Like why? Ain’t you supposed to be home with the kids bitch? While he’s doing his own thing for a few weeks? Oh yes, that’s right, she needs to control everything he does. God forbid he’s away from her for long enough to realize maybe he’s not actually happy with her.

He likes to defend her by saying he pursued her but it’s like dude, you think so? You know what that sounds like? The 12 year old student who was raped by his teacher and defended her by saying he pursued and wanted a relationship with her. He grew up, married her, and got her pregnant all while she was in prison for being with him. Guess where they are now? Divorced. So just because Aaron thinks the relationship was his idea doesn’t make it right. She had the responsibility to say no, you’re entirely too young for me. Instead she decided to just “go with the flow” and let “a good thing happen” to her after two kids and a divorce 🙄.

Please. 8 or 10 years apart, I’ll give you that. But 20 to 30 years apart AND you met the person when they were still a teenager? I’m not tryna hear that age is just a number bullshit.

Smh. He’s so far gone tho, I doubt he’ll divorce her. He might pull a Hugh Jackman years from now, but at least Hugh was in his 20s when he got with his much older wife. I don’t think she was able to brainwash him the way Aaron’s wife has done. Plus Hugh and his ex never had kids. I’m sure kids being involved makes it harder for Aaron if he’s even thinking about or thought about leaving. So I guess we’ll just see how the cookie crumbles.

I like him as an actor, but I’ve always found their relationship disturbing. So I wish they would just shut up about it and be low key. Cause one thing they seem to steer clear of talking about is the actual beginning of their relationship and the fact that he was a vulnerable, 18 year old first time actor when they met, literally just as career was starting. And he’s never mentioned about how his family feels about him being with her. Never even made a passing comment saying that they love her or anything like that. Just saying, the signs are there.

The quiet on the set documentary clearly shows how young actors are not protected. In this case he was legal, so she got away with it. Smh. I wish him the best.

[jinkicake]

Brainrot yet again 😔and this time it’s aether but because nobody on this site can write for him, they don’t know him like I do!!😤like not EVERY aether fic and hc can be super uwu subby crybaby boy SOME OF YALL ARE LYING!! I fully stress myself out by going back and back to the aether tag😭 like I have a handful of artists who draw him normal even Venti isn’t that elusive😭 like aether is a fully grown man with a 9-5! he will not start blushing from me holding his hand!! Like I had an epiphany the other day this man is LITERALLY-like Giorno just longer hair and minus all the trauma; like hear me out!! Blonde pretty boy who looks too pretty to be real,unreasonably strong,showing skin for no reason!!(gio got his chest out for what? Aether wearing a crop top why🤨) have powers that people can’t comprehend,mysterious origins, and they’re both very playful and mischievous; they’re literally like cousins😭(see how my problem is falling for any giorno adjacent characters?💀)you’re traveling w aether getting into all kinds of shenanigans bc trouble follows him like a magnet 🙄and he’s quietly thinking “I am going to absolutely destroy you” like he’s the type so oh so subtly use anemo to blow your clothes,Geo to trip over rocks that were not there before, shocking you w electro 😭 he’s literally a menace bc who’s gone beat his ass?? He’s the honorary knight what would they even say if they caught him Fucking your throat on the roof of the favonious HQ? He’s saved Liyue from Osial and his wife! What they don do if they see him balls deep in you in some tucked away some corner of the Jade palace, LITERALLY FOUGHT GOD AND WON IF THEY KNEW WHATS FOOD FOR THEM THEY WOULD MIND THEIR BUSINESS IF THEY HEARD HIM BLOWING YOUR BACK OUT IN THE TEAHOUSE!! Ayato is a messy ass bitch he would recommend a bathhouse that’s on the outskirts of Inazuma city that has wonderful acoustics just in case he wanted to hear you moans echo🥰 like aether isn’t from this world so his dick would be out if this world as well. Literally the 😏 emoji like he gets up early to finish his daily commissions and get paimon breakfast so he can come back and sweet talk you into letting him cum inside you at like 9am he’s nothing if not clever! Pissing him off to get him to use that god destroying >>> using electro on his dick to overstimulate you, seeing you get a little too friendly with childe or zhongli (bc me too lmao) so he has to remind you he’s better than them🥰 bc he has a cute face but he can be mean asf when he wants to be; sitting and looking at you with a blank face save for the glare burning holes into your head as he makes you bounce on his cock and does absolutely no work as punishment 😔 watching your legs tire out and thrusting up when you stop for even a second rolling his eyes LIKE ITS SOME KIND OF INCONVENIENCE TO HIM “You know, I could always get you off right here,shame you don’t know how to behave” and lazily rubs your clit w his thumb. He loves edging bc he’s a little shit😒 will wait until you admit defeat and put you in a mating press bc he will make sure you can’t move an inch and that you take everything he’s giving you💕 is willing to be tied up and used like the good boy he is🥰

ive never been able to get behind the subby uwu characterization of aether like even when he's shipped w childe and others... idk to me he's strong and puts UP a fight regardles of who he is with!!! so i get you i really do

HAHAHAHA no hes a grown ass man who is over 500 years old... he's seen shit and has been with people before! affection and intimacy is not something new to him!! so why do people act like he's never dealt w romance before in his life!

now..... comparing him with giorno,,,, you do understand you're setting aether up my dear? like this is DON GIORNO we are talking about but with your reasoning i can say that i now understand. and its not your fault for falling for giorno or giorno substitutes like he's the best yandere there is, you cant be blamed!

i love aethers crop top he's so cute i just have to say that

WAHHHHHHHH THE PERV HEADCANNONS W AETHER ARE GONNA MAKE MY MIND EXPLODE... that is TOO good, how do you come up w this stuff im literally in shock like that got me good. also... to add... he could use dendro to create an aphrodisiac right? like a natural dust- idk!

no bc aether can get away w anything on the planet now and no one can stop him like he has four nations under his belt backing him up- no one stands a chance! (except my ice wifey archon!!!)

now see aether getting jealous would lose me bc bae,,, why don't we all just share! like he's mad over childe and alhaitham... BRING THEM IN THE ROOM TOO! there's enough room in his teapot for all of us and we all got enough holes too!

we need more abyss prince!aether i like when they have no life in their eyes... thinking abt that! he wants to get rid of the archons i say DO IT (raiden and venti hide under my bed),,, i'll advocate w him!

[purpledaisiesthings]

I was a huge conic shipper but I love this whole thing going on with Billie and Conrad right now and I can’t wait to see them get together! There’s always been and will probably always be the debate about Nic and how Billie’s breaking the “ girl code” and what not 🙄 but I personally think Nic would be happy about it…Wdyt?

Ah yes 🙂 The whole "dating your dead best friend's husband" debate. I have thought about this alot so I have quite alot to say about this 😄🤭

I personally don't have a problem with this.

I think people are trying to bring in their own personal bias into it. There is nothing you say that will convince them. Some people have still not moved on from Nic's death, and nobody is good enough as Conrad's love interests. With some of the things I've seen people say, sometimes I ask myself if they have a problem with Billie as Nic's best friend or just Billie herself. They complain she's in love with her dead friend's husband and forget Conrad is in the equation, too. This man is fully in love with his dead wife's best friend. But somehow, their quarrel is mostly directed at only Billie.

First, people need to understand that this is a fictional story. I really do need to stress this over and over again. As much as we project and insert ourselves into the tv shows/movies we watch, sometimes it's nice to just watch a show for what it is. FICTION.

And even when I try to compare with real life like the way some have, I honestly see nothing wrong. Like I'm still trying to wrap my head around why this is so wrong.

Also, Nic is dead. I know we know this, but people need to move on now. We've mourned Nic's passing. It's time

I think the writers did an amazing job to keep Nic's memory alive with the two people who loved her to bits. They allowed Conrad to mourn Nic well.

They never disrespected Nic. It wasn't like they had a thing for each other while Nic was alive. It wasn't like they planned to fall in love. It wasn't like they jumped on each other first thing after Nic was gone. 5 yrs people. It took them 5 yrs to even get to a kiss. They went through a loss together, and they saw each other at their worst. That shit bonds you together whether you like it or not.

So yes, I do believe Nic would be happy for them. Nic wasn't selfish or vindictive. The two people she loved finding love with each other would make her happy. When they brought Nic back at the end of season 5, she's made him promise that after she was gone, he would find someone who loved him and Gigi as much as she did. She didn't put any caveat or conditions on it. Everything we've seen of Billie shows that she embodies this promise.

In this particular scenario, if you have a problem with your partner finding love again with your best friend after you're gone, I'm sorry, but you must be selfish. Especially when they've never disrespected you or your memory. These are supposed to be two people you love most in the world. Yh, you a hater 😏.

I mean, I don't know what else to say. I personally don't see anything morally wrong or see any "girl codes" broken because they have done nothing wrong. You can't even call it cheating cos Nic is dead. But that's just me 🤷🏾‍♀️

Like I said, no amount of talk and explanation would change some people's minds. They are set on their opinions, and everyone is entitled to it. It is what it is.

In the end, there are way more people for Billie/Conrad than the ones against.

Thanks for asking this 😊 I had fun ranting, Lol

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: ncis: hawai’i from 1x15

been a hot minute since i’ve watched this show but i’m back 🫶🏻

— 1x15

gracie is being so rude to jesse ☹️

oh shit??

tennant better pick up her phone omg

WOAH

lucy facing her fear of the ocean for jesse 🥹 that’s family fr

aloe vera really can be used for anything damn

i bet the boat’s gonna be empty

well.

i feel like this rebecca woman is gonna have something to do with this..it seems like she’s hiding something

“if someone i knew were in trouble, i’d want you to be the one looking” 🥹

“not you” oh shit they’re probably gonna use grace against jesse

i knew that woman wasn’t telling the truth

WAIT JESSE STARTING THAT FIRE WAS COOL AS HELL

at least rebecca isn’t in on it

damn jesse got his ass kicked

“she’s mine” that had no business sounding hot

lucy and pike going with jesse aw🫂

tenant and jesse’s friendship is something that can be so personal

— 1x16

“i know a guy” and it’s gonna be his dad lmao

oof the fight between kai and his dad was rough

not daniel trying to control what college alex is going to…jane better shut that shit down

oh my God that kill was brutal

jane’s facial expressions while lucy’s snapping at kate are sending me

lmao poor kate she can’t win in this situation

kai’s being so damn obvious it’s only a matter of time before he’s caught

…or fired i guess lmao

i can’t wait for the chef to find out who kai really is

daniel being pissed that jane doesn’t know what’s going on is so stupid cause it’s not like he’s trying to tell her. he just magically wants her to know 🙄

“she doesn’t know you like i do” aw

DAD?!

that was insane

— 1x17

woahhhh

ERNIE???

poor kate she’s trying her best and i feel bad for her but i get where lucy’s coming from too

well shit

mike bowen?!

“sometimes there’s no nuance, it’s just right and wrong” hm i don’t think she’s just talking about the ransom anymore

OH SHIT

“what a jackass” ernie’s face pls 😭

kacy ☹️

“we were just about to rock” what the helldjgjgjfns

wow i didn’t see that coming

i love ernie so much 🥹

the hug aww

— 1x18

so i ended up having to watch the first part of the crossover cause i was hella confused 🙃 the og ncis isn’t actually that bad i’m kinda surprised

he’s GONE?!

lmfaoooo they didn’t even know about the rumors

matching tattoos 😭😭

this woman is terrible at her job

well his body’s for sure gone

i love jessica and ernie’s dynamic

this episode’s kinda boring

seems like whatever happened in orlando wasn’t as great as everyone’s making it out to be

— 1x18

“i haven’t had a baby in about ten years” “daniel, you never actually had a baby” pls 😭

oh no, alex :(

ernie’s so sweet, i love him

the hawaiian lion king?? 😭

PEPPER LMFAOOO

jane’s friendship with jesse 🥹🫶🏻

pepper’s so freaking cute

jane has really good kids, they’re so lovely

ernie loves lucy so much 🥹

lucy and jesse teaming up to tease kai pls

damn jane kicked ass

aww alex visiting his baby brother

kai and melanie are so cute

baby nate 🥹

— 1x19

what the hell?

lmaooo poor kai all he wants is to eat his sandwich

jesse looks so fine

lil wayne 😭

the woman’s probably holding blake hostage

oh lucy was gay panicking bad and kate loved it 😭

3 dead people?? what’s her issue…

his wife is dead ☹️

“because i loved you, kate” my God.

oh i love this for ernie

lucy’s def not over kate

lmao poor jane all she wants is a bath

i love kai so much he’s such a good guy

— 1x20 & 1x21

omg he stabbed him

jesse’s british accent is so bad pls

jesse sense? this show is so unserious 😭

“do you think these shoes go with this shirt?” “ the question is, do you?” lmaooo

pike’s so freaking funny

he meant a date 😭

oof kacy in this interrogation

i knew that wasn’t gonna end well

woahhh they both died? omg

these last two eps are kinda uninteresting

we deserved to see more jealous lucy before her and kate got back together

OH SHIT

“oh God, i wasn’t being literal” 😭

everyone cheering for lucy and kate aw 🥹🫶🏻

[ackermental]

You know, if somebody told me three years ago, after season eight of GOT ended, that I would once again spend my free evening watching another ASOIAF show produced by HBO, I would spit in their face.

Yet here we are, three weeks in, with another magnificent episode. And yes, even with it’s flaws, it was still magnificent.

So let’s start with cons:

1. Alicent acting like a saint cow.

 At first, when this entire plot of her being manipulated by her father was introduced, I thought that the writers would use it in later episodes, to show us Alicent projecting the same kind of abuse on her own children.

 This episode should have been hers, no argument about it. She’s been Queen for two years now, she’s given Viserys a healthy son. That was a perfect time for her ugly nature to start showing its face.

 But instead all we've got was her trying to be kind to Rhaenyra and Daemon (out of all people!) and still following her father’s commands. Commands she didn't agree with. I’m not saying that she should straight out embrace her evil step-mother persona, after being turned into Rhaenyra’s bestie for two episodes. But I hoped for at least a hint, yet the closest thing I've seen was a slip of tongue. 

 This plotline really starts to look like a sour thumb in an otherwise great script. Sandra Hightower should catch up to her book Highbitch personality sooner rather than later, or she’ll be left behind.

2. Viserys drinking.

Now, this is almost a follow-up from Alicent being such a good wife and person as a whole, because why exactly is Viserys drinking?

 The narrative wants us to believe it’s because of his guilt about Aemma, but we’ve seen Viserys doing just fine for six months after her death. In the books, Viserys slipping into alcoholism was caused by his guilt over raping Aemma when she was eleven, yes. But it was also very much because he had a poisonous snake right in the middle of his household. His wife was grooming their son against his daughter, causing Rhaenyra’s isolation. And Viserys wasn’t completely blind to it. He refused Alicent’s idea of marring Aegon to Rhaenyra, not because Aegon was so much younger (again, Viserys married Aemma, and this kind of betrothal wasn't unheard of) or because Aegon was princess’s brother (Viserys' own parents were siblings), but because he was scared of his new wife’s ambition.

Alicent, combined with Otto and his minions sucking the life out of him, made Viserys turn into a shadow of a man he was before, and he wasn’t much of a man even then.

3. Turning Rhaenyra into a spoiled brat.

Yes, Rhaenyra should be very spoiled, very proud, selfish and entitled. 

 But turning an actual victim of abuse (because that’s what Alicent’s behavior was, an abuse) into a thorn in Viserys' back, and making her one of the main reasons for his condition (her, not Alicent! 🙄) is appalling, honestly speaking.

 I wouldn’t mind it, if the narrative's shown us that Viserys thinks this way, because the Greens have once again twisted the facts. But the writers actually introduced Rhaenyra as the black ship, who doesn't want to be a part of her new family, when in the books she was isolated from them by Alicent. And it was all happening after her mother and brother were killed, and her uncle was exiled. Here Rhaenyra looks like she doesn’t want to be helped.

4. Why is Tyland being so concerned with Stepstones?

 Tyland was Oldtown’s man, he had no reason whatsoever to help Daemon, and there was no further reason for the Greens to make Daemon look bad. The guy was gone, exiled, probably soon to be killed in a war.

  Tyland’s also talking about their fleet, but it wasn’t Realm’s fleet exactly, was it? It was Corlys’s. And Tyland had even less of a reason to help Velaryons.

 Are they going to turn him into a good guy, just like they did with Sandra? Is that why they exchange the look during this scene? Was Sandra pulling some strings to end the war, like a good, saint cow she is?

5. The mere idea that Viserys wouldn’t send Daemon help, if Alicent didn’t ask for it, made me see red. Viserys’ love was absolute for only two people in his life, as hard as it certainly was for the children he produced with Alicent, and those people were Daemon and Rhaenyra.

 He would have never, ever, left Daemon to his death, period. It was so OOC for both Viserys and Alicent, that it made me pause the episode. I needed some time to get used to the idea.

6. Another change I didn’t like was Viserys complaining about Daemon disobeying his orders.

In the books, Viserys didn’t care about Daemon fighting on the Stepstones, nobody cared, really, and it was important to the plot.

 You see, before the Stepstones, everybody was fricking out about Daemon regularly banging a Lyseni woman and not being with his wife. It was an entire drama, about which I will write some more in the next con, but what’s important for now is for you to know that the Small Council, and supposedly Viserys, went crazy about how important it was for Daemon to go back to Runestone. 

 And Daemon did just that, he obeyed his King's command. It was only after two more letters, that he decided he had had enough, and he went with Corlys to the Stepstones. And suddenly… nobody cared anymore about Daemon not being with Rhea. Because what they really cared about was the possibility of Daemon producing a child with a woman who had valyrian features.

7. And that brings me to Daemon beating the shit out of poor Ser Addam. 

 When they erased the entire plot of Mysaria getting pregnant, I thought they would also get rid of the rumor of Daemon beating the messenger. After all, one makes no sense without the other.

 You see, in the books Mysaria truly ends up with a child, and is given a dragon egg, although probably not stolen, since there were many dragon eggs on Dragonstone. Daemon gets a letter, supposedly written by Viserys, in which his brother insults him, his paramour, his unborn child, and commands Daemon to send Mysaria away across the Narrow Sea to Lys.

 And Daemon, as always, obeys and goes back to his wife. Now, whether it was true or not, Daemon gets another letter later on, informing him that his child is dead. Gyldayn claims, that he doesn’t react in any way to this news. 

 Soon after that, he gets yet another letter, this one from Viserys again or rather, this one actually from Viserys. In the letter the King informs Daemon, that he had married Alicent. And this time, according to Gyldayn, Daemon beats the living shit out of the messenger.

 Firstly, I want you to ask yourself a question, how would any of maester Gyldayn’s sources even know what has happened in Runestone? Or even when or where would they hear such rumors? It’s important, because I believe this is one of the biggest slips on Gyldayn’s part, showing us that there were people spying on Daemon long before the Dance even began.

 Secondly, let’s look at those events a little bit closer.

 Some people have come to the conclusion, that Gyldayn must have mixed up the letters and Daemon's reactions on purpose. They think that Daemon didn’t react to the news about the new queen (After all, why would he? Alicent was nothing to him at the time.), and that he lost it, after learning about his child’s death.

 But I believe that, for once, the rumors and Gyldayn were telling the truth. Daemon not reacting to his child’d death could be simply his way of hiding his grief before his wife’s household. After all, none of those people were his friends, and many would take joy at seeing him mourning the bastard. Daemon composing himself is very much understandable. Just like him losing his shit after the second letter is. For all Daemon knows, his brother has just murdered his child, and now he has the audacity to inform him about his happy marriage to a young girl, who will certainly get pregnant in no time.

 That was why Daemon beat the man.

 Reducing this whole grief and frustration to the simple offense of his pride, seems rather empty in comparison. It’s still in character, I give you that, but for someone who understands the story, it’s just another wacky way of showing the audience what a psycho Daemon can be, and well, I’m slowly getting tired of that.

8. The episode as a whole felt a little bit like a filler, but that’s not really the writers' fault. The entire thing with the Stepstones was like an intermission in the narrative, created for the purpose of giving older characters something to do, while the others grew up.

 9. Daemon’s sprint made me laugh so hard, I spit my Coke on the table. That was some very solid plot armor he was wearing this episode.

And now that we got it over with, let's go to the pros. And good lord, there are so many. This episode truly outdid itself when it comes to introducing new characters and plotlines.

1. I absolutely adore the way they make Rhaenyra look isolated and depressed. Her sitting inside the carriage, while everybody else was cheering for Aegon outside, nearly broke my heart.

The whole scene with her walking through the tent, almost unnoticed and alone, searching for her place?😫👌👌 Some brilliant story telling done without a single line of dialogue. Not to mention, Viserys clearly seeing what’s happening and not knowing what to do about it, adds to the whole problem. His shocked face, after Rhaenyra tells him nobody’s here for her 🤣. He really is completely lost, when it comes to his daughter not acclimatizing with this new family he tries to create.

 The way she lights up like a sun, when somebody invites her into the conversation, and she gladly tries to join in, only to be put down right away. She has to stand, while everybody else seats down. The Ladies talking badly about her uncle is understandable, since Daemon is exiled, but they have the audacity to talk badly about her father, the King, right in front of her. It just shows us perfectly that something is very wrong with the structure of this new court.

2. I love that the two Ladies talking back to Rhaenyra were Lady Lannister and Lady Redwyne. 

 Lannisters have been plotting with Hightowers ever since the Great Council of 101, when they brought with them an army to Harrenhal. According to Gyldayn they did it only to show off, but ofc in reality they have done it to make sure that the other Lords wouldn’t make a mistake during voting.

 And Redwynes and Hightowers have been mixing their bloodlines for generations.

The number of traitors gathered all around the King and his heir simply overwhelms.

3. That being said, in this episode we were finally introduced to another Cunt of the story – Tyland Lannister, the master of ships.

 In the books, Corlys was never a master of ships in Viserys Council, since he was greatly offended after the Council of 101. Instead, we had Tyland, who got this position for the support his House gave to the Hightowers and Viserys in Harrenhal.

 Tyland is also a twat, who will steal the Crown’s money, taking ¼ of it for himself, and giving half of it to the Oldtown Triad.

He will later advise to kill Aegon III, and after Aegon II dies, he’ll become Aegon’s III Hand.

 And that event'll result in one of maesters' biggest bullshit ever written in their ‘history books’. Because those people had an absolute goal, to say that Tyland was a good servant of Aegon the Younger. The same boy he wanted to murder. And they explained it with Tyland suddenly claiming he didn't even remember who served the Blacks and who served the Greens during the war.

 Jesus Christ, pls stop this clownery 🤦‍♀️.

 It’s also the same Tyland who will try to marry of Baela, daughter of Daemon, the same daughter who was able to hatch dragon eggs, to some ugly dude, forty years her senior. And when Baela refuses, he will lock her up. 

So yeah, when I saw him on the screen, I threw my pillow at his ugly fucking face.

4. But we’re not out of Cunts yet. Larys's introduction? Chef’s kisses 😘. The innocent way in which he asks if he can join the ladies, pretending to be a poor cripple, but in reality trying to gain some information 👌. The fact that we can’t actually see his leg, which makes us question if he’s really sick or if he’s just acting, the same way Varys was in the books. Larys will later become a master of whispers after all, and even their names, Larys = Varys, give us this interesting connection.

5. I squealed, when Lady Lannister mentioned Lady Johanna Swann.

 After GOT great fuck up, it’s simply mind-blowing to me, that the show writers remember such characters! Because yes, Stepstones were an intermission, narratively speaking, but GRRM wouldn’t be GRRM if everything about it was simply a filler. 

 The Triarchy will later support the Greens during the war, but we can actually wonder if Lys was secretly fighting for the Blacks (Johanna will basically rule Lys when the Dance starts). You see, Lyseni fleet will end up mostly unscathed after the battle of Gullet.

 Also, her relative, Byron, will try to kill a dragon, although it was never specified which one – the Green one or the Black one.

 Was Johanna fighting against her House, who were supporting the Greens, after they failed to pay her ransom? Was Byron supporting his House or his cousin?

 Can’t wait to see where this plotline will go.

6. If they’ll exclude Lord Strong from the coup after this episode, I’ll be extremely baffled, honestly.

 I wanted to smack this prick so hard, when he said that Jaehaerys ruled for fifty years of peace. Excuse me, you bitch! Even if we don’t count all the other mess that went down during this moron’s kingship, he still lost his son, his fucking favorite son, future heir, prince Aemon, during a fricking war. An event that started the whole mess with succession.

 The copium these conspirators have, when it comes to Jaehaerys, is simply insane. He sure was their favorite king, wasn’t he? If it wasn’t for Jaehaerys, none of them would even be at court in the first place.

And then Lyonel has the audacity, to say that Jaehaerys' children nearly drove him to madness, especially daughters.

  Yes, especially daughters seem to be a big problem for Oldtown, aren’t they? I sometimes lose count of all the fuckery that went down with Targaryen Princesses. It indeed looks like some kind of tradition. Makes you wonder.

 And wasn’t that fortunate to all of you, that all of Jaehaerys daughters either died, became septas or managed to run away, before they were forced to become septas?

 Isn’t it fortunate, that after all those years, Saera didn’t return for her dragon and to fight for her and her children’s claim?

 I’m sure children were the ones that caused Jaehaerys' insanity, and not any of you, you filthy traitors.

  Anyway, love the amount of little details in that simple, innocent line as well.

7. The fact that they are using prophecy to make Viserys change his mind about heirs, is so in line with GRRM’s writing 🙌🙇‍♀️. And it begins in such an insignificant way. 

 First, Viserys asks Lyonel if everything is ready, to which Strong replies, that Jason expects them before midday. Which means that Jason Lannister was the one put in charge to organize the whole event. Then Otto goes to Viserys, when the King's arguing with Rhaenyra, to tell him about the white heart and calling it some kind of omen. Then they go out to check out the trails, and people all around Viserys are gushing about prophecy. Otto even has the goal to say he doesn’t believe in them, but well, if it’s the will of the Gods… 🤷‍♂️ And we know that this bitch is ofc lying, because Hightowers have their own prophecy, one that they’re treating very seriously, and they love all this magical shit (and necromancy as well). Then Jason's gift happens to be a spear, which he gives to Viserys specifically for the kill of the white heart in Aegon's name. And this is not suspicious at all.  And ofc they don’t catch the white heart, but the closest thing to it they could find.

It honestly felt like something GRRM would write in his book, I’m extremely impressed.

8.  Also, the little expression on Alicent’s face, when Viserys talks to her about his dreams, the way she almost rolls her eyes - again, perfect representation of the outside image Alicent should present, as this extremely pious woman raised in Oldtown. I also wonder if she’s the one who told her father about Viserys being very superstitious.

9. The whole sequence of the Oldtown Triad trying to set Rhaenyra aside, was some great piece of story telling as well. I absolutely love the way this dialogue was written, every word counted. Was this particular part created by Fat Guy himself? I wouldn’t be surprised.

It starts out innocently enough.

 We once again can witness the famous Targaryen Pride, with Viserys very clearly putting Lannisters beneath dragonriders. It’s a nice call back to Lyonel using the same pride against Velaryons in the second episode.

 It also parallels with Daemon listening only to Rhaenyra on Dragonstone. Targaryens are very conceited and if you can’t bring dragons to the table, they won’t treat you as an equal.

 Not to mention it’s a reference to Aerys' rejection of Cersei Lannister, and him choosing Elia, who he believed could indeed give Targaryens some new dragons.

  And after that part is done, the scheming starts!

 So first they send Jason, to check out the possibility of simply naming Aegon as the new heir. Viserys is clearly baffled by the idea, and since Jason is not the smartest guy, he slips up and says „many of us had assumed.”

 Viserys ofc is right into that shit: „many of us, you say?”. And it’s such a good question. Indeed, who did you have in mind, Jason? Your bannermen? Other Lords? Or other members of the Oldtown Conspiracy?

 If that wasn’t good enough, Viserys follows it up with mentioning the rebellion, and that was the moment when I started screaming, and my friend needed to calm my hype down.

 Anyway, Jason clearly screws up, Aegon won’t be named heir any time soon. And the fact that Viserys, even being depressed, tired and wasted, is still up to defending Rhaenyra’s position is so in character for him, I was melting.

  After that fuck up, Otto comes to the rescue with yet another possibility: let's marry Aegon to Rhaenyra. To which Viserys laughs to Otto's face.

 Now, in the show it made less sense than it did in the books, but it was hilarious, so I’m willing to buy it. It also shows rather well, that Otto is starting to lose his footing.

 And when this idea doesn’t work out as well, they bring out the biggest guns and send off Lyonel. And Lyonel once again gives the King an advice that at first sounds completely impartial and logical. Let’s close the rift between Velaryons and Targaryens. But in reality what he does, is suggesting for Rhaenyra to marry gay.

 If we can’t strip her of her title, if we can't get her to be married to Aegon, then let’s take away any possibility of her having legitimate children. And I love the detail of Lyonel’s little smile, when Viserys asks if he wants to recommend his son to marry Rhaenyra. Because no, Harwin’s role was always to become her lover, give her a bastard, and make everyone question her heir's legitimacy.

10. Also, Lady Lannister clearly was following the conversation, and it's very refreshing, when you can see the side characters doing their job as spies and gossips. 

11. I also like how they present Viserys' isolation. He is all alone in a room full of vultures. Right after he manages to escape, Alicent is right next to him to keep an eye on him calm him down. He truly is trapped.

12. Realm’s Delight being a title Viserys gave Rhaenyra because of his love for her, and not because of her looks, was also a great addition. It truly hammers down the fact, that Rhaenyra was the greatest joy in his life.

13. Love to watch how Viserys’ obsession with prophecy is very clearly hunting him, and again I appreciate how this show makes a very clear point of how devious and dangerous those dreams are, how they influence people and what a huge impact they have on characters’ actions. 

 „What is the power of the dragon, next to the power of the prophecy?” must be one of the most important lines in the entire ASOIAF put to screen till this day. It’s honestly the first indication I can think of, showing the viewers that somewhere out there is a higher power, not necessarily good, that has basically unlimited means to control even Targaryens. I couldn’t help but think of poor Dany at the time 😢.

  And I do wonder, who’s sending those dreams to Viserys 🤔? Children of the Forest? Some maester with a glass candle in the Citadel? Bran?

14. That brings me to Rhaenyra sitting under the weirwood tree again. Girl! Get the fuck away from that monstrosity! What are you doing? How much time do you spend there? Burn this shit to the ground, or so help me! 🤬

15. Love the little detail of her sitting on blankets and pillows, though, the Princess must be comfortable after all. 💃

16. I choose to believe that Alicent sending away the bard, and later her comment about pregnancy, was actually malicious and was meant to hurt Rhaenyra, rather than it being an innocent slip of tongue. Don’t judge me, I’m starved for the Highbitch, and it was all I got the whole episode.

17. Rhaenyra’s comment about her not willing to join the hunt, because boars squeal like children, when they’re being slaughtered, while we had a nice shot of Aegon’s stupid, little face, send me 🤣🤣. This girl is wild, I love it.

18. The costumes were also so nice. Rhaenyra’s hunting clothes look pretty and practical, Alicent’s dress was beautiful as well, even if this color is wasted on this character, and a hair net was a very nice touch.

19. I also love how the entire set for the hunting party looked. There were people all around, doing their stuff, walking, talking, eating, drinking, something that was very missing in GOT with later seasons. The amount of tents, the fires, the whole thing felt very real and alive.

20. Harwin’s introduction was done so brilliantly. He’s such a cutie, too. And he looks to be an appropriate age? Sandor, you have been avenged. The way he beams at Rhaenrya, when she comes back bathed in blood! Count this man as scared and horny.

21. The whole thing with the white heart was also a nice call back to the books. Robert was trying to find the white heart, but failed and instead went after the boar, and the boar killed him. But here Rhaenyra finds and spares the life of the white heart, but kills the boar. What does it mean? Don’t know. And as always I don’t really care, but I love how this scene will for sure start a discussion among us, the fans. Was Rhaenyra meant to be the next ruler, was she chosen by the gods, did Hightowers go against the higher power??? Etc. etc. Always a pleasure to see ASOIAF fucking with us, when it comes to prophecies.

22. Rhaenyra’s little grimace, when she drinks the wine Jason gave her, made me spit out my Coke the first time (Daemon's sprint was the second). Acting in this show is so great and full of little nuances.

23. I know that it was probably just put in the script, to show us Jason being a self-important prick, but I clapped when somebody finally gushed over the architectural wonder that is Casterly Rock. By all means, this construction should not even exist in this world with their technological progress, yet Westeros is filled with those kinds of things, like the Wall or Storms End for example. It was a truly fascinating easter egg to crack, while reading the books.

24. I actually enjoyed Criston acting like a proper knight and the only support Rhaenyra had. After all, this character’s strength lies in him losing this facade later on.

I loved the little slip he made about him having an adventurous youth, yet never marring, because he was allowed to marry only women of lower birth. It shows us nicely, that Criston is not as knightly as we would like to believe, as well as the fact that he thinks rather highly of himself, or at least is clearly aiming higher than some low-born girl, he could only enjoy his adventurous youth with. And I don’t think I have to tell you, what this kind of fun meant for women, especially those who weren’t Ladies.

"Everything I have, I own to you." Indeed, so why are you such a cunt, Ser Cunt?

25. I also liked him claiming that men of the Realm wouldn’t have a choice in accepting Rhaenyra. Because that’s exactly what somebody as low-born as Criston would believe. As I’ve mentioned many times before, many Lords followed women and sworn fealty to them all the time in Westeros.

And they did make their choice, most of them choose Rhaenyra in fact. Because that was how this system worked.

26. Same goes with Otto’s ridiculous copium. People celebrated, because that was Aegon’s second name day. Most of the Lords present were his own cronies. Claiming that persons' sex is more important than the whole feudal structure of society, is laughable. Even Alicent knows it. Which is actually a good start in showing us, that this woman is much smarter than her own father. The Realm won’t tear itself apart, if you don’t start the fight for Aegons' claim.

And whose gods and laws are you talking about, Otto? Because those are not the ones written for Targaryen’s succession, I can assure you.

I hope we’ll get to see Jasper in the show. If you thought that Otto or Rhaenys were talking nonsense before, wait till this guy opens his mouth about law. I hope Blackfyres burned Rain House to a crisp in ADwD.

27. Vaemond being the one asking for help was some fine, little nod towards his character. He would be the one to ask for aid first.

28. Maesters are so good at doing their job, that Viserys has already lost two fingers because of one, little cut, and the flesh is still rotting away. Not suspicious at all. I’m waiting for a moment when the fever kicks in.

29. I loved the parallel between Alicent claiming that Rhaenyra will marry, if she believes it was her choice, and later Rhaenyra calling Viserys out on choosing Alicent instead of Laena. Only he didn’t choose her, did he? He was made to believe he was given a choice.

Writing for this episode in some parts is just superb.

30. Once again, the military power of dragons is shown in full display. I love watching pets of mass destruction doing their craft.

I also love how HOTD shows the perfect control riders have over their dragons. Finally, you can see that it was a deep, telepathic connection and that dragons' actions are clearly not their own. Laenor controls the fire to make a perfect circle around Daemon, there is no command in the world, that could’ve achieved it. Targaryens are fricking skinchangers.

31. Even greyscale looks better in this show.

32. I’m torn. I can’t decide if my new sexuality is Laenor having a time of his life, while he’s burning people alive, or Daemon with braids. I was smiling like a moron every time I saw Laenor, but then my legs were spreading on their own accord, when I was looking at Daemon’s new hairstyle. Ugh, decisions are hard.

33. Good to know that Vaemond was earning his decapitation ever since the war on Stepstones. Stop trying to save him, Corlys. This man is too stupid to be allowed to breathe.

34. Them using Seasmoke for a surprise attack instead of Caraxes, because Caraxes was red and Seasmoke was harder to notice 🤌🤌, love the writers who know their lore.

35. This whole scene at the end shows really well, why the Blacks would’ve won the Dance, if not for the treason and Oldtown's scheming. They were just absolutely fierce on the battlefield.

36. Daemon losing his mind after reading a letter and rushing straight forward into suicide mission, was a reference I didn’t need to witness this early in the show. On the one hand, him yeeting away to win this war or die out of pure spite was hilarious, on the other, I almost cried.

This man feels first and thinks later and in the end it will bring him his death. I can’t even, no, it’s too soon to think about it! 😭😞😭

37. Daemon really went feral, when he caught up to Drahar, didn’t he? Did he kill him with his own teeth or something? They didn’t show us what happened for a reason, huh? Or were there even more poor souls in those tunnels, getting ready to be slaughtered by Dark Sister?

Love this parallel between Daemon and Rhaenyra being blood-soaked and dragging their preys behind them. My babies are thousands of miles apart from each other, and still we are supposed to make the connection between the two, love it!

38. Look, I recognize the fact, that Daemon’s run was quite ridiculous and that this kind of plot armor doesn't work in real life.

 But!

  As a viewer, I was having so much fun. I was cheering for this man at the top of my lungs. Finally, his inner Chad has awakened.

 Matt didn’t have a single line for the entire sequence, and he managed to act his way through it so well, I understood perfectly what his character was thinking the whole time.

 I can’t even tell you, how many times I’ve rewatched the moment, when Daemon is jumping in the air and kicking the shit out of some Myrish scum.

Westeros was filled with dudes like this, aka Gary Stu knights. It’s so nice to see it again after so many years.

Yeah, so I think I’ve covered everything I wanted to cover. Honestly, this episode was filled with stuff, if you know what I mean. I was having a blast while watching it. Hope the next one continues with this winning streak.

[phrynewrites]

94 with Jasco? Bonus points if the response is along the lines of "we're not even married 🙄"

Well you know that if you’re talking about Jasco but they’re beyond married but also not technically married…then we’ve got to be talking about blind date Jasco. Here’s a little snippet that’s a bit in the future, but right before they’ve got their feelings sorted out. Enjoy!

___

Between double shifts, finishing a beaded dress for her couture class, and managing the centerpiece creation for Angie and Camden’s wedding, Jasmine was beat. She was in absolute dire need of a casual game night with friends; an opportunity to release and pretend for a moment that she hadn’t a need to worry about any of her endless stressors.

But when the door to Bosco’s and Daya’s apartment opened, revealing Daya with a permanent smirk gracing her face, announcing to Bosco that “their wife is home,” Jasmine knew her relaxing night with friends was going to be anything but.

“You’re an absolute menace,” Jasmine said, shoving her way through the door and into the living room. She spotted Bosco, propped up against the leg of the couch, sorting through a stack of Uno cards before pushing them into a lopsided pile, cutting them, and shuffling with precision.

Jasmine set her bags against the couch and settled in next to them, content to watch, content to press her cheek against their shoulder as their fingers flew.

“Rough day, wifey?” Bosco trailed into a breathy laugh, setting the cards on the coffee table in front of them. With their hands now free, Bosco wraps an arm around Jasmine’s shoulders, pulling her flush against their chest, before placing a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll go easy on you.”

“No you won’t,” Jasmine teased. And even though Bosco’s still intent on teasing her, even though she can feel the tentative gaze of their friends on her back, knowing full well they’ll be the topic of discussion once they’re all a few drinks in and in the mood to roast her and Bosco, she can’t help but feel that the beaded dress is miles away, the flowers and the tealights, even her shift tomorrow night, is miles away as she’s buoyed to Bosco.

“No you’re right, I’m going to destroy you.” Bosco took her by the chin, tilting her head up, meeting her blown-out gaze. And Jasmine, curse her fickle emotions, the immediate steeling of her spine at Bosco’s studied look—

“Shit, got some lipstick on you.” Bosco muttered, trying to rub it off with their thumb.

Jasmine closed her eyes and shook her head—as much as she could while still in Bosco’s grasp. But she could help but return to a smile before she said, “You’re an idiot. I maried an idiot.”

“Babe-”

“And if this doesn’t come off before my presentation tomorrow, I’m going to kill you and inherit your fortuine and all your plants.”

“We’re not even married, moron.” Bosco licked their thumb and tried again, fingers splaying across Jasmine’s cheek. “And do not touch my Melanie. You always over-water her.”

Bosco muttered something about a stupid lip stain before pulling away, holding Jasmine at an arm’s length. Jasmine tries not to think about their palm against her cheek, and her cheek on their chest now that it’s gone.

“Gonna get a make-up wipe,” Bosco said, coming in close again, swift breath against her cheek.

Jasmine shoves them off as Bosco registers what they’re doing.

“Sorry, habit.” They patted Jasmine’s cheek instead, as though it’s a substitute for another staining kiss, before standing up and leaving in search of the make up remover.

As they turned the corner into their room, Jasmine felt the heat of six sets of eyes on her, the heavy silence bearing down, making the already cramped living room feel bleak and barren.

“Those two hoes are gonna cheat.” Korn took it upon herself to break the silence. “I can feel it.”

“Didn’t you hear them say it, like fourty times?” Daya raised her glass toward Jasmine and now Bosco, returning to the room with a packet of wipes. “They’re not hoes, they’re wives.”

[heavyhitterheaux]

Say it Back

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: you stay playing with your man's feelings lmaooo

Synopsis: You play a prank on Jack that involves you not saying 'I love you' back to him

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

You had been watching Tik Tok for the past few days and came across the prank in which you don't tell your partner that you love them back when they tell you that they love you before they leave. 

You decided that you wanted to do it to Jack and have Urban set up his camera to record it.

You knew that Jack had a lot going on this week and that he would be leaving out soon in the hopes of getting everything done.

It was around 10 in the morning when Jack had finished getting dressed and was about to leave.

He leaned down to kiss you since you were still laying on the bed before you heard the famous three words.

"I love you."

It was showtime.

"Mm hmm. See you when you get back."

Jack then did a double take not hearing you say it back to him.

"Mamas?"

"Yes boo bear?"

"I said that I love you."

"I know, I heard you."

"Uhh am I missing something?" Jack asked before sitting back down next to you.

"Missing what?" You answered as you played on your phone which was quickly taken away from you by Jack.

"You didn't say it back. Did I do something?"

"No."

"Are we… oh shit are we getting divorced?!"

"What!?! Jack, no. Definitely not."

"Do you not love me anymore!?! YOU ALWAYS SAY IT BACK!"

"Why are you being so dramatic?"

"Because we literally never leave each other for an extended period of time without saying it!"

"You know I do, so why do I have to say it?"

"I'm not leaving until you do."

"Babe, you're going to be late."

"Not if you say it right now."

"Say what?"

"Come onnnnnn mamas! Say you love me backkkk." Jack was now laying on top of you in an attempt to get you to comply. All you did was play in his curls before deciding to answer him. 

"I guess I'm fond of you." 

"Fond of me? What the hell is that? We have never gone a day without saying it to each other in nine years!" Jack was now sporting his famous pout as you simply looked at him.

"Damn, we've been together for a while huh?"

"Stop changing the subject!" Jack had now held onto you tighter and had his chin resting on your boobs.

"I really like your outfit today. You look good,  gimme kisses."

"I'm not giving you shit until you say it back." 

"Are you really acting out like this on a bright Thursday morning?" 

"Y/N Y/M/N Harlow….."

"Uh oh. Full name basis?" You asked while trying not to laugh.

"I guess I'll just take your Birkin back that I got for you." Jack said while shrugging and your eyes went wide.

"You will do NO SUCH THING. WHERE IS IT!?"

"It doesn't matter. Your short ass can't reach it and you didn't say you love me so you won't be getting it." 

"Why are you so stuck on this?"

"BABY! We can go back and forth all damn day. I'm not leaving until you say it."

"Neelam is going to kill you."

"Shit she'll get over it. I'm over here trying to save my marriage."

You busted out laughing and shook your head in disbelief.

"I'm a rapper, not a comedian and ain't shit funny right now."

"Pookie?"

"Don't call me that unless you mean it. I gotta call a lawyer now and shit. You want half of everything, right?"

"Look towards the tall dresser."

"For what!? Is the dresser going to say that they love me?"

"No silly. Say hi to the camera. I pranked you."

Jack slowly turned his head and saw the camera for him to roll his eyes before looking back at you.

"I love you, Pookie."

"I'm calling my lawyer."

y/ninsta: I love you Pookie 😘🥰

jackharlow: y/ninsta kiss my ass 🙄

saweetie: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU JACK?!

urbanwyatt: saweetie he’s mad because y/ninsta played a prank on him lmaooo

theestallion: urbanwyatt what prank was this?

urbanwyatt: theestallion she didn’t say i love you back to him and my mans was in SHAMBLES for the rest of the day even after she did tell him

druski2funny: jackharlow lmaooo she had you shook huh?

y/ninsta: druski2funny so shook that he was ready to call a divorce lawyer because he was convinced that I didn’t love him anymore 😭

jackharlow: I’m glad yall find this shit funny because I DON’T 😡

y/ninsta: jackharlow come here you big baby and let me kiss you 🥰

jackharlow: y/ninsta NO

dualipa: damn I’d never thought I’d see the day where jackharlow turns down kisses from y/ninsta.... well y/ninsta my lips are available

jackharlow: dualipa I have no hesitations to shoot your lips off with a bb gun. don’t test me

normani: NOT THE BB GUN 😭😭😭😭

dualipa: such a hater like always

claybornharlow: y/ninsta so when can I move in?

jackharlow: claybornharlow move in where?!?

claybornharlow: jackharlow so we’re not proceeding with the divorce? I thought my time has come with y/ninsta

jackharlow: claybornharlow your time to WHAT?!

y/ninsta: claybornharlow he real sensitive right now. we’ll revisit the topic at a later date

jackharlow: y/ninsta REVISIT WHAT TOPIC?!

claybornharlow: jackharlow nothing. never mind. forget I said anything.

jackharlow: claybornharlow nah say it with your chest

claybornharlow: jackharlow I should have been the one to put a ring on y/n’s finger since I am her favorite Harlow child. Kbye!

jackharlow: claybornharlow I will throw you off a cliff right after I deal with dualipa

dualipa: jackharlow now why am I in it?

jackharlow: dualipa don’t play dumb 🙄

jackharlow: y/ninsta....

y/ninsta: jackharlow I love you bae! 🥰

jackharlow: y/ninsta if you love me so much, I need my dick wet

urbanwyatt: here yall nasty asses go

saweetie: jackharlow when does it not need to be wet? I mean I’m curious at this point

jackharlow: saweetie when it comes to my wife? always

y/ninsta: jackharlow oops sorry, no can do!

jackharlow: y/ninsta WHAT?! After all you put me through today?!

y/ninsta: jackharlow I’m on my period 🙄

jackharlow: y/ninsta what the hell does that have to do with your mouth? And you act like that means something to me? 

jackandy/naremyparents: well shit lmaooooo

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinadolans

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@tynesharandolph8633-blog

@exoticr0ses

@jharlowsangels

@jackierose902109

@jackmansbabymama

@cmalass

@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong​

[indelibleevidence]

3x08 Thoughts

This episode has so much going on the whole way through - this show is so good at mid-season showdowns! Love it.

Hirst is such a great villain. Wonder how she got so good at the corrupt side of things? I wish she'd been on the loose for longer, because she's so interesting (also, way better than Madeline!).

Crawford finally shows up in this episode, and he's pretty unsettling. It's strange to see Roman handle him so well. I don't think season two Roman would have been able to, and I kinda wish they hadn't gone the slick manipulator route with his character, because that was supposed to be Remi's thing. And like Shepherd said to him in season 2: 'You could never do what she does.' Maybe the ZIP gave him a personality overhaul. 🙄

Reade is pretty brutal to Kurt in the interrogation room, and it makes me sad that they keep bringing Reade back to this 'you were a better person before you met Jane' place, several times throughout the show. I guess he associates Jane's arrival in his life with things starting to fall apart - losing Sarah, losing Mayfair, finding out about the abuse he repressed the memories of, being buried under rubble, the drugs, then the whole team disbanding. It would have been nice to have Reade and Jane talk it out post-4x22. It always seems like he's more Kurt's friend than Jane's, in an 'I'm not a big fan of your wife, but I care about our friendship too much to keep bringing it up, because I know you'll never leave her' way.

Rich signing Hirst's papers with 'suck it' is total genius. 😁 In fact, his whole interrogation room attitude is just classic Rich. The whole 'we've been having sex in the vents and on the rotating platform where you scanned Janes tattoos' thing is so much fun.

I'm confused that Boston is suddenly missing. Two years ago, they had him in prison, and got him to do the undercover thing at Daedalus. Kurt offers to move him to a prison closer to his parents, who were having trouble visiting him, in return for his cooperation with the mission. The last we see of him, he's watching Rich get loaded into an ambulance, and he and Patterson talk about the sculpture he made. And then in the two-year time jump he was working on Wizardville with Patterson, but Rich can't find him, somehow? Guess he got out of prison pretty quickly.

It was so sweet to see the team laughing and joking with Rich at the end of the episode, like it was the first time they treated him like a part of the team and not just an irritating coworker they had to deal with. And Rich really is making choices to be good Rich. ❤ Even if he does have an escape route from the FBI planned out for every day of the week.

If you didn't notice, Rich's contact name for Zapata's cell phone number is What's-Her-Name. 😁😁😁

The latex mask is so creepy, and I 100% agree with Patterson that Rich uses it for more than just escape attempts (eww). Not sure why someone in their 80s would be doing janitorial work at the FBI, so maybe the agents should have questioned that. O_o Oh well, they're dead agents now. Wonder what Hirst had on them.

It was nice to see Brianna redeem herself a little bit for the 2x22 mistake - not that she actually knew what she was doing...

One of Patterson's reasons why it was weird for Zapata to be crushing on Reade was, 'he's Reade'. Ouch. 😁

Blake has such a good 'oh my god, I'm gonna jump your bones the second I get you alone' look, while Roman is standing up to her father. I really like Blake. They could have made her an annoying socialite with no depth, and have Roman hate every minute he had to spend with her. But instead they made her a kindred spirit, kept on the sidelines while the abusive parent did nefarious things. Even if Blake doesn't know that's what her father is doing, she does know something's not right, though we don't see that until a bit later on.

All of Jane's 'there's nothing Roman can do to get between us' moments are so sweet. She really believes it, until she doesn't.

And it was nice to see Kurt finally taking a stand against Roman, refusing to kill Hirst, then removing Roman's Berlin leverage. Maybe Reade's jab about not being an incorruptible super-agent anymore hit home. Yes, I hate that the Berlin thing is canon, but Kurt needed that moment of 'enough is enough'.

Jane telling Kurt he's not a killer, in his dream, is a nice reversal of the 2x03 'you're not Taylor Shaw, but you're not a killer either' moment.

[thegreymoon]

Monarch Industry

He’s insane but he’s actually right to be yelling about this.

I never understood these people in dramas who are literally plotting treason and keeping the incriminating evidence. Why don’t you just burn the damn letters after you read them? They always get uncovered and then RIP!

With all that said, I adore this actor! He’s so good! 

***

Looking forward to more of Da Wang, my beloved, in this episode 🖤

***

God, he’s so happy to see his father well.

Such a fool 😕

***

I’m too scared to watch what happens now 😬😬

***

What did they kill the servants for? 

I hate how they just exterminate everyone in their vicious little power struggles. 

***

The best thing about this episode is that I finally managed to get a good look at this beaded crown and count how many threads and how many beads it has. I’m inspired to draw Taxian-jun wearing nothing but that to celebrate! 

You know, for science. 

***

Bye-bye, Wang Xu!

I’m mad we never got a proper shot of his death and severed head, but I suppose it would have sent the censorship board into fits, so we’ll just have to make do with out imagination. 

***

Oh, Pang Gui, no 💔

***

This Lan Xichen wannabe 🙄

Lan Xichen would never have showed up to a siege without a sword. 

***

Well, they fucked around and found out 😂😂

Call not in vain the name of Yuzhang Lord 😂😂

There is nothing more cathartic than seeing villains get their comeuppance. 

***

Well, at least he got a good laugh out of this!

For some reason, I’m not too worried about Wang Lin, though. He will slither his way out of this. 

***

Fucking lunatic.

I hope Xiao Qi skins you all. 

***

Your brother is a moron.

Pity that you are completely insane, otherwise, with that one brain cell your brothers obviously lack, you could have gone far. 

***

“I love my brother and he has done nothing to me, but unfortunately I’m going to kill him anyway.”

Just watch him put him with Awu so that he can get on all our nerves some more with him moping and blathering about love while Xiao Qi remains off screen some more 😤😤

***

Smh.

Why must I be right. And then he’s bewildered why she chose Xiao Qi over him.

***

Beloved 🖤

He’s surrounded by traitors, fools and hotheads and he really needs his wife back.

***

Fucking evil.

***

When they’re both awful and you have no side to take, so you just watch the family drama unfold 🙄

***

I really like her, but there is zero chance she is getting a good ending after all this. 

She’s not evil, just powerless, in love and with no brain in sight. 

***

LMAOOOO, careful what you wish for! 

When he comes down, he will end all your careers for good! 

***

Poor Awu, everything is a mess and in addition to all her problems, she now has to babysit the idiot muppet. 

***

LOL, you tried to kill her, you disaster, and even worse, her husband too.

But watch him give her the seal now. The dead eunuch had it, he guaranteed has it now and just didn’t want to hand it over to Ziliu. 

***

The way he’s playing him 😅😅

Xiao Qi knows he’s a traitor, he doesn’t need anyone to confirm it for him!

[wikiangela]

just finished the umbrella academy s3 and holy shit I loved it

some chaotic thoughts right after finishing it:

tbh it started kinda slow, the first two-three episodes didn't really grip me lol but the rest was fantastic as always haha

Luther was much more enjoyable than before - and I am sooo happy he's back from the dead lmao

Allison pissed me off soooo much omg she was much more annoying and unlikable this season, I know that she went through a lot, but honestly her storyline was boring sns - by the end I couldn't stand her, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to finish the season tbh haha - she was so annoying I couldn't even feel bad for her sns (and it's lowkey unfair that she got everything she wanted in the end, but yeah, I know, she made a deal 🙄🙄)

actually loved Lila - and her and Diego together - Diego is one of my faves since day one, I love him, and Lila was really fun this season too, and I enjoyed their subplot sooo much, loved them hah

and I love Sloane so much (and she's like the hottest character in that whole show sns) - now where is she and pls tell me she's gonna be in s4 because I love her (if there is a season 4 and there better be haha)

the wedding was so adorable, I loved it, and I honestly love Luther and Sloane together, they seem so perfect together hahaha the chemistry between the actors is fantastic

Five was amazing as always, Aidan Gallagher does such a good job, I've been continuously so impressed since season 1, he's amazing

I missed the og Ben a lot - tho I learned to enjoy sparrow Ben as the season went on hah he was pretty cool by the end - and it was great to see him interact with everyone, not only Klaus lol

and I enjoyed the Sparrows in general tbh, shame some of them died hah

and Reggie was actually so fun to watch 😂 (he's a good villain, I hate him but he's so enjoyable haha)

I feel like Viktor didn't really have much to do? like, there was Harlan, and then the whole thing with Allison but like, I didn't really care much about that? he didn't really have his own subplot that would grip me like everyone else I guess (or at least it feels like it idk, nothing with him really caught my attention, maybe because of Allison being overly annoying hah) - still loved Elliot Page as always, he's awesome as always

and obvi Klaus is Klaus 😂 I love that he got to explore his powers, and he's always super enjoyable, he's the goat lol

so, the plot was interesting, but, like I said, I feel like it really picked up with eps 4 or something, but once I got into it, it was amazing (aside from Allison who made me wanna stop watching multiple times, god was she annoying lol)

I'm so curious what's gonna happen next, with their powers gone, and Reggie's wife with him, and where the fuck is Sloane, and what's up with that Ben scene at the end??? the ending itself might be more intriguing than the whole season tbh 😂

I think I still enjoyed the previous seasons a bit more, but this was great, can't wait for s4 (and they better make one, I need answers haha)