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#what i was trying to say was like blocked by this person's mutual but like i said. it means nothing i'm blocked by many oomfs in law...
pocketramblr · 3 months
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Dash simulator
Blog 1: lol anyone else seeing a lot of strawberries in new recipes now? sometimes its fun but i really dont get the appeal of adding it to everything. why did you make strawberry garlic bread
Blog 2: u kno im not a fan of strawberries, i really like the rich sweet and sour notes from oranges, oranges and chocolate is such a good combo. i altered a recipe for a smoothie with oranges last week and it was soooo good ill give you my notes if you want Reblogged by: Blog 1: ahaha yesss i love chocolate and oranges
Blog 3: I canNOT believe the hate im seeing to strawberries right now, like, you know guys know the rule don't like don't bake right?? you know you can hit the back button right?? honestly what's wrong with yall
Open draft- wait guys you know there's a difference between leaving a comment on a recipe saying you hate strawberries and the recipe writer should never use them, and going to your own blog to say you don't really like strawberries, without naming any specific people or recipes right? you know there's a difference right?? - Save - Post - Discard
Draft discarded
Blog 4: why is everyone jumping on the strawberry hate train right now. what is wrong with you. Reblogged by: Blog 5: I knowwww like guys some people stop baking because of reading things like that, please stop it, if you don't like strawberries you can be quiet about it
Open draft- im so sorry if anyone's getting sent mean messages or comments about what they're writing and baking, but i'm literally not seeing any of that and if you are, please use the block button. but someone making a post on their own blog is not that, and if you can't see the irony in you being allowed to complain on personal blogs but not them i can't help you... - save- post- discard
Draft discarded
Blog 2: are strawberries even in season?
Blog 6: woo cherry pie!
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katsigian · 1 month
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vse-kar-vem · 4 months
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why are we having queerbaiting discourse as a fandom in the year of our lord 2024 😭😭 we're just as bad as twitter oh my god
#real people cant queerbait. jance arent queerbaiting bokris arent queerbaiting either .#we have no right to know their sexualities nor do they have any obligation to tell us before kissing a man. they could be fully straight#they could be playing gay chicken 24/7 (they are) and that still isnt queerbaiting !#what they choose to put in that photoshoot 'authentic' or not is their choice#its so stupid cuz like i thjnk its such a nothingburger of discourse 😭 neither of the ships at play here are in direct conflict with#each other#literally for everyone on both sides : dont like just block#i dont think anyone in this fandom has malintent or is tryinf to put any other members down on purpose#+ we all have our own preferences when it comes to shipping#also i think stuff thats getting said is getting so misinterpreted and magnified beyond original intent that its making everything such a#largwr deal than it is#anyways! my own personal gripe: related to my orher post#why are we babying grown men lord 😭 i would also LOVE a jannacejure photoshoot but im sure its not hurtful for tjem if they dont do it 😭#like theyre grown men not elementary schoolers who need to be told theyre special#sorry that was a little more confrontational! wow we have really descended into disxourse today havent we#what im trying to say is this: i have beloved mutuals on both 'sides' and hold no hard feelings at all we're all entitled to our opinions#and i think it's really stupid to be drawing lines in the sand like this around issues that dontt even matter#ok! im done#vee rambles#ok yeah ive gone back and read all the discourse and my conclusion remains the same. i thjnk some people are reading a leetol too much into#things#but i think both sides have valid points#whatever we shall take it as it comes
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deityofhearts · 5 months
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y’all know how you follow really cool ppl and it’s like “wow you’re so cool I hope you never follow me/we don’t become mutuals because you’d find out i am entirely uncool and unhinged”
#deity dialogue#beaming ‘please don’t scroll through my blog I am very mentally ill on main’ at the cool butch person I follow who has been in my notes#because I’m p sure that one of my beloved mutuals who is already aware I’m a pathetic puddle of a person is mutuals with them#but yeah it’s like. if people I find cool follow me or check out my blog I live in utter fear of them going ‘oh they’re like actually sad a#goodbye forever’ ahdjfjtkt#idk how sad and weird it is to admit that every day I sit here and wonder if a beloved mutual is finally gonna go ‘okay I’ve had enough of#fae’ and unfollow me#this is also why I take a while to follow ppl back because I need to see if I’ve scared ppl off yet#I keep saying I plan to be less unwell on main#rn I’m getting back into tagging my sad posts (divine despair if you don’t know is the tag to block)#tbh I’m also just trying to make this year better but god I am so sad all the time the despair is like Bad#but today was good! so no super sad posts!!#hhhhh what am I even talking abouttttt#anyways shout out to my beloved friends and mutual ilyyy hiii if you read this far wow#actually does anyone read my tags because I talk so much like I’m incapable of shutting up (it’s terminal I fear)#<- the words of someone who is aware they talk so much and hates it and has had people try to silence them (my family also hates that I tal#a lot and use to bribe me into shutting up)#I must shut up now goodbye#see this is why cool people can’t follow me like
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ivyglow · 1 year
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It’s been forever, I miss hockeyblr and tumblr in general 🥺
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maddy-ferguson · 1 year
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lr is an avid std shipper that talks shit about blrs on their blog and also hates rnc / nancy
well good for them or bad for them idk😭
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succulent-pott · 2 months
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getting a flashback to a funny childhood story only to realize oh! That was just bullying.
#maybe if they cared about me they wouldn't have made me be friends with the guy who kissed me without asking!#maybe if they cared about our work they would have ACTUALLY COMPLETED IT instead of making one of my OTHER FRIENDS do it FOR THEM.#maybe if they were my friend they would have said 'sorry for your loss' and not 'i don't remember that happening!'#maybe if they were my friend they wouldnt have made me watch a show that caused me to pass out! For HOURS.#maybe if they cared they'd take the time to see that my resentment towards my dad can't be fixed by “respecting” the man who neglected me!#maybe if they cared about me they wouldnt have covered my mouth at the last sleepover I ever went to (which was at their house.)#I hate talking about them but they're just actually the worst person I've befriended so farrr#at least my exneighbour openly threatened me they were just doing shady ass behaviour#theyre in a diff province theyre in a diff province theyre in a di-#likeeeee they tried friending me again recently and like???? NO???? I dont think I want to go back to that thaaank youuu.#vent#<- I guess????? idrk. I'm vagueposting to my internet mutuals & two irls lmao#ughh theres so much they did it makes me physically SICK to listen and remember certain things#also idk what pronouns they use because when I checked their ig before blocking them it didnt say anything soooooo-#at least I have the decency to try and use the right pronouns (COUGH. COUGH.)#maybe I shouldnt be scared of people louder than me because I see them as authority figures and feel the need to be at their every word
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chemicalarospec · 3 months
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It's a great day to be indirectly accused of being a Nazi for calling out subtle whitewashing (??????????????)
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retrievablememories · 9 months
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cherry bomb | jungkook (m)
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pairing: jungkook x fem reader
summary: “get fucked or die” becomes the motto to live by when a serial killer begins targeting virgins on your campus.
genre: smut, horror/slasher, college!au
word count: 7.1k
warnings: multiple minor character deaths, blood, gore, violence (including gun and knife use), mentions of alcohol consumption. virgin-shaming and slut-shaming, oral (fem receiving), riding, virgin!reader, first-time sex, protected sex, hair-pulling, biting, fingering, dirty talk, virgin kink/corruption kink, fuckboy JK. is JK a sub or a masochist here? answer: i don’t fucking know!
a/n: inspired by the movie cherry falls (2000). heed the warnings. remember that this is fiction, not meant to be entirely realistic, and characters' views/actions don't represent my own. if this kind of content is not up your alley just block me or make use of the wonderful filtering option in your account settings
sources for the fic dividers: one | two
link to part 2
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CHERRY BOMB
don't wanna die? come out and hook up with a sexy girl or guy.
virgins get in free!
THIS FRIDAY
NOV 3, 20XX
[address here]
"very corny." you shake your head, looking at the party flyer in your hands. you'd just torn it down from the bulletin board in your dorm lobby; unauthorized advertisements aren’t allowed, and your job as RA involves these menial-ass tasks. "this is literally life or death...why are they turning it into a joke?"
"it is a joke," your friend camille says, snatching the flyer out of your hands to look it over. "think about it. 10 students get killed since we came back in august, and the semester isn't even over yet. the school administration and local police haven't done nearly enough to address it or stop any more deaths. and the common denominator is that all these people were suspected or confirmed virgins?” you haven’t seen the evidence yourself, but the daughter of one of the local policemen claimed every victim also had virgin carved into some part of their dead body. “yeah, i'd say it's a joke to pretty much everyone at this point. this is what happens when you let the students come up with a solution."
camille hands the flyer back to you, and you hold it limply. "but...it's not like you can look at someone and tell if they're a virgin. the killer must've known them all personally. it just doesn't make sense."
"some of those people had no mutual friends. nothing connecting them whatsoever. not even shared extracurriculars. it's gotta be a perverted stalker with a fetish, maybe. a scorned hacker who somehow got into their private conversations 'n' shit? or maybe he consulted the cards to know who’d fucked before and who hadn’t.”
“oh please.” you scoff. “now you’re being completely ridiculous. tarot cards aren’t gonna tell you if someone’s a virgin or not.”
“then you come up with a better explanation. either way, these folks—" camille points to the flyer "—aren't taking their chances."
"hm..." you keep staring at the flyer, looking at the shiny-red cherries, condoms, sex toys, and other sex-related objects decorating the paper. whoever designed this really wasn't playing.
"so, are you gonna go?" camille asks with a sidelong glance. "free admittance, after all."
your neck burns under the collar of your shirt. "are you?" neither of you have had sex yet, for differing reasons. camille's reason was almost complete indifference to the whole act.
she gives you a look that says i could give a shit. "...you know the answer to that one, dear. so you're not even thinking about it? as much as you have cried to me and lorelai about not being able to find a man you like enough to give it up for, our killer here probably already knows. you practically have a ‘come kill me’ bullseye on your back.”
"i don't know," you say, because you genuinely are thinking about it. “and stop trying to fucking scare me.” despite your logical brain trying to reason with you, you still feel a sense of underlying terror about being the next victim. "the virgin killer," as they'd nicknamed the freak, clearly prefers a specific type of victim, and all kills have been random and unpredictable other than that—and the fact that every victim attended your university. he also seems partial to using a knife on his victims, but even that isn’t guaranteed—3 of the 10 had been killed in ways other than stabbing. "i don’t know why you’re so nonchalant about this, though."
camille shrugs. "if he comes for me, i'll just spray him with my illegal mace and kick his nuts into his throat. then tie him up and wait for my dad to come blow his head off. there are some advantages to having a gun nut for a dad."
you chuckle at the absurdity of it. "you've got it all planned out, then."
--
FRIDAY, NOV 3
taking a rideshare to the party was a smart idea on lorelai's part, because the two little shots you took to pre-game already have you feeling woozy. or maybe it's just your nerves.
the cherry bomb is located at a mansion that isn’t really a mansion, but a large once-abandoned house one of the fraternities fixed up years ago for throwing off-campus parties.
the party is stacked wall to wall with people when you enter, though from what you can see, no one has actually started fucking yet—maybe they're saving that for the supposed orgy later in the night. you just hope you can get someone in one of the backrooms before that happens, because you're not really keen on having everyone in your class knowing what your tits look like.
you have one simple mission here tonight—lose your long-held virginity and get off the virgin killer's radar. once that's done, you'll make your exit.
"actually, i'm surprised anyone else showed up. other than you, who wants to willingly admit that they're still a virgin in college?" lorelai shudders. you roll your eyes and try not to feel offended, sucking your teeth.
"you were more than welcome to stay back at the dorm."
"no! i'm here for moral support, plus i don't want to be alone tonight. i don't care who this killer targets, it's getting too crazy out here to just be letting your guard down anymore."
well, you won't argue that.
you and lorelai dance to the song booming over the multiple speakers, scanning the room for potential hookups all the while. you become more alert when you recognize a familiar length of black hair coming through the front door, plus the tattoos and piercings to match.
you're not surprised jungkook came. he has his pick of untouched and easily corruptible virgins here, which has always been his thing; you've heard him brag about it to his seatmates more than once in your shared elective. not to mention the stories you've heard from the women who actually fucked him. as far as you could figure, it was the usual male ego posturing bullshit about being able to say he was someone’s first—and likely best. for that reason, alarm rises when he makes eye contact and starts making a beeline for where you and lorelai are.
"oh, here comes the campus bicycle," lorelai says, voice deadpan.
you continue watching him from the corner of your eye, trying to see if he's just approaching someone in your general vicinity, but no. once he shoves his way through the crowd of dancers, some unashamedly groping at his body as he does, he stops right in front of you two.
"so, are you here for the same reason i am?" he asks you, grinning like the devil himself. "or are you looking to get that sweet little cherry popped?"
the backs of your knees sweat. "um—latter, i guess." you hadn't meant to answer that honestly, but to say you are caught off-guard is understating it. you can count on one hand the number of times you and jungkook have talked to each other in class, and never about anything of this nature.
"you're not gonna ask me?" lorelai says.
jungkook gives a hearty laugh; you didn't think it was that funny. "everyone knows you're not a virgin, why waste my time?"
"wow, okay. fuck you. you're no saint yourself." she huffs.
"anyway…" jungkook returns his attention to you. "have you really never done anything before? not even sucked a dick? there's no way someone hasn't tried to hit that. not even some 'backdoor action only' like those weird religious girls?"
"is that any of your business? i didn't know we had to give a rundown of our lack of sexual experience before getting laid around here." you snap.
jungkook's eyelids lower a fraction. "i'm tryna decide how easy i should go on you, babe. i mean, if you wanna take this in one of the rooms. otherwise, i'll let someone else have a go if you're not interested."
unfortunately, you are interested, despite his overly blunt manner and objectifying language. even though you know you’ll just become another entry on his long list of flings—someone he’ll tell his boys about later—maybe the fear of death is making you impulsive.
but maybe his looks are playing a part in it, too.
he's imposing with his physique and his all-black attire, his shirt so tight that you can clearly see his pectoral muscles and his nipples, his unbuttoned leather jacket doing nothing to hide those details. you can easily imagine yourself running your hands across those pecs, squeezing them, rubbing your fingers against his nipples and making him moan underneath you, feeling and seeing his abs contract through this stupid-ass shirt that must've been painted on. this brief fantasy immediately dampens your panties.
"…i'm interested," you affirm, dragging your gaze back up to his eyes, and he smirks from knowing you were obviously checking him out.
knowing the direction this is going in, lorelai taps you on the back and whispers in your ear. “have fun but don’t do anything stupid, yeah? i’m not playing auntie to any offspring you and this dude pop out, sis. use protection.” then she makes her exit to go find herself a partner for the night.
“so, come on.” jungkook nods his head in the direction of the stairs, and you follow him through the crowd as he leads you up the winding staircase. you squeeze past two girls kissing on the staircase railing, their motions a bit unsure as if they’ve never done it before but clearly still enjoying themselves.
jungkook pushes a few doors in until he finds an empty room, and you try not to ogle at the random couples you see along the way. not even an hour in and the two shots must be wearing off, because your body is beginning to buzz with nervousness again.
jungkook closes the door behind him when you both step into the room, which is lit by one lamp on a nightstand and the open window beside the bed. he reaches for you, and you shiver when his hand grasps the side of your face, the other snaking around your waist.
“scared?” he asks, his voice low. you shake your head, and he grins. “relax.” he leans in as if to kiss you and you part your lips, but he doesn’t do that just yet. he traces your top lip and then your bottom lip with his tongue, dipping it into your mouth as he switches. the teasing nature of his actions makes your body heat up as you watch a string of saliva spread and then break between the both of you.
he presses back in for a real kiss this time, his nose bumping yours. despite all your fears about tonight, you’re able to unwind somewhat and just focus on the full sensory experience that is this kiss—the warmth of his hands and his mouth, the sappy sound your lips make when they separate and come back together, the scent of his cologne, the taste of his spearmint-flavored tongue.
you find yourselves inching toward the bed, him walking you backwards while keeping you steady. just as the backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed, there's the sound of a woman's bloodcurdling scream from behind you, and you nearly shove jungkook to the ground in your haste to run to the door. your fingers are scrabbling at the doorknob when you hear a burst of laughter. a guy you don't recognize crawls out from under the bed holding his phone up, displaying a youtube video of the shower scene in the movie psycho, which is where the noise is coming from.
"that was funny as fuck." the guy laughs obnoxiously loud, holding his stomach. “don’t get too carefree or you just might die, girlie.”
jungkook grabs the guy by his jacket collar like he's a kid and throws him out the door; the guy doesn't object because he knows this is preferable to getting his ass beaten by the bigger man. "fuck outta here, you jackass." jungkook snaps.
jungkook stomps over to the closet to yank it open. "any more idiots in here wanna show themselves?" he checks a couple more areas before deciding the room is clear and closing the door again, locking it for good measure.
“okay.” he sighs, stripping off his jacket and shoes. he takes your hand and pulls you toward him as he sits on the bed. “relax, baby. forget about that fucking clown. come ‘ere. why don’t you sit on my lap?”
with a heavy exhale, you try to steady your still-shaking hands as you shuck your boots off and pull your dress up slightly to comfortably sit in his lap, your legs loosely wrapped around his waist.
he squeezes your waist. “so, where were we? i don’t really remember…”
you huff out a half-amused laugh. “really? i’m pretty sure it was this…” you lean forward with your hands on his shoulders and press your lips back onto his. jungkook follows in kind, his hands running up from your thighs to your waist and back again. the rhythm of his hands is hypnotic, distracting you as you try to keep most of your focus on the kiss, and you fear you may be getting overstimulated before anything has truly began.
as you continue kissing, jungkook’s hands creep your dress further up your thighs until your panties are revealed. still feeling up your legs, his hands press further toward your inner thighs, and you gasp into the kiss when his thumb pushes against the seat of your underwear. they have been damp for a while now and you know he knows this, so you aren’t surprised when he breaks the kiss to smirk, though it makes you roll your eyes.
jungkook whispers against your lips, “let’s try something. will you sit on my face?” you stare at him without a word, not expecting this to be the first thing he proposes. at your response, or lack of, he adds, “i want to make you feel good. do you want me to taste you?” his voice is so soft, so unassuming and cloying, that it makes you feel like a lamb clutched gently in the mouth of a wolf.
your brain is already surrendering to it. “yes.”
you get another kiss and a smile. jungkook moves you out of his lap, shuffles further up the bed, and lies down so that he’s flat on his back, his head surrounded by the pillows. he gestures for you to follow.
taking your time, you slide your panties off and crawl up the bed until you’re near his face and he’s lying below you looking like he’s struck gold. he grabs your hips to bring you closer until you’re right over his mouth. you’re embarrassed to have someone looking at you from this angle for the first time, and you’re about to get too into your head about it when he french kisses your inner thigh, blanking out your mind.
the only thing you know from then on is that his mouth is burning hot. his tongue is everywhere. he licks at you delicately to test the waters, and then more firmly when your thighs tremble around his head, in an effort to elicit the same response.
the way he fits his mouth over your entire pussy and sucks it with just the right amount of pressure so that it won’t hurt makes you feel faint. the way he slides the flat of his tongue over your clit only to suck it gently at the end of the stroke makes you cry out louder than you intended. you’re glad he moved further up the bed for this, because you’re holding onto the headboard for dear life.
the only things you’re aware of are your own out-of-control moans and the wet sounds of jungkook’s mouth working you over. all of it has you so overwrought that you’re already reaching your peak, your grip on the headboard weakening.
jungkook seems to know this without you telling him anything. he pauses and looks up at you with a fucked-out smirk and a wet mouth. you don’t know whether to thank him or curse him for giving you a break. “before you come, fuck my face.”
“wh-what?”
“rub that wet fucking cunt on my face.” heat flares through your body at his frank words. “grab my hair and just ride my face.” he reaches up to take your hands off the headboard and places them in his hair. “you can do it, baby. fucking use me.”
it takes you a minute to get over the fresh wave of embarrassment and find a pace that works, because the connection between your brain and body feels like it’s frying and your coordination is off. jungkook helps guide your hips, especially with how you’re trembling from pleasure and close to falling apart. soon enough, you’re letting go of yourself and moving your hips enthusiastically, if a little clumsily, and chasing your climax. you savor the feel of your clit sliding across his wet tongue and his soft hair in between your fingers, and you push his head as close as it can get.
you come while screaming, dizzyingly immersed in the pleasure. you forget that you’re holding his hair as you yank roughly on it. the only thing that matters to you is that jungkook’s mouth is still sucking your clit through the best physical sensation you’ve ever experienced.
when he finally lets go and gives you reprieve, you collapse beside him on the pillows.
“i’m sorry,” you mumble, disoriented. “about your hair, i mean?”
jungkook laughs. it’s funny how shiny-wet his face is—and that you caused it, which is kind of hard to believe in the aftermath of it. “the pain is what gets my dick hard. don’t worry.”
you chuckle breathlessly at that, and for a few seconds you both have that funny little moment to yourselves in all the ridiculousness of the overarching situation.
then jungkook’s hand is reaching for you again. “i’m not done with that pussy yet, though.” he brushes a finger over your hole, and your body twitches from the sensitivity. he slides that finger through the wetness and then uses the lubrication to push only the tip of his finger in. he dips it in and out, teasing the nerves at your entrance, until you’re shifting your hips closer to him to implore him for more. he grants your request by sliding his finger all the way inside.
having a finger inside you feels okay at first, though not as good as his actions a few seconds ago. jungkook decides to amplify your pleasure by placing his lips on your neck, leaving gentle and wet kisses behind, and you become all too aware of the feeling of your hardened nipples against the material of your dress. the pleasure begins to heighten when his finger finds a place inside of you that makes you throb, your walls clenching around him.
“ah…” you gasp and shift eagerly against his body as he keeps stimulating that spot, not thrusting his finger into you but simply stroking it across that area in a come here motion.
jungkook pulls away from your neck to smile at his handiwork. “that’s better, right?” he whispers, watching your reactions. your lips form around the word yes, though it’s difficult to try to speak, and you worry how unsteady your voice might sound. he waits until you’re clutching at his arm, leaving red lines on his skin from your fingernails, to carefully push another finger in beside the first. you try to breathe evenly, though his refusal to let up on that spot has your lungs stuttering for air all over again. his nose nudges your ear as he leans even closer and whispers, “there are so many different spots to find, so many different ways to make you come; i wanna go looking for them all.”
jungkook angles his hand so that his palm is also stimulating your clit, his fingers thrusting slowly now. you turn your head away from him as your body becomes ablaze, unsure what to do with yourself as your climax nears quickly.
“would you let me do that? learn your body like no one else has done?” he kisses the shell of your ear, and even that small action is enough to tip you closer to the edge with how your body is already so fired up. “who else could make you feel as good?”
this orgasm makes your eyes fill with involuntary tears, and little clear droplets bleed down the sides of your face and towards your ears as your body convulses. jungkook kisses the wet trails they make on your face, still fingering you steadily and forcing another urgent cry out of you. you feel untethered from yourself, like you’re not in control of your reactions, and you don’t know whether to be afraid of that or not.
jungkook pulls his fingers out when you have mostly calmed down, watching strands of your wetness drip between them before sliding them into his mouth.
after you come the second time, you begin to tire. the deeds have been done, and if you want, you can confidently go back out to the party now and say you’re no longer a virgin; you’re off the unofficial kill list and can live the rest of your days without having to look over your shoulder with every breath.
…but jungkook is hard against your hip, and in all honesty, you don’t want to leave without knowing what his dick looks and feels like.
“you tired?” he asks, and the casual air of it makes your stomach flip, for some reason. he says it as if this is something you two do all the time and he’s used to asking you this after wearing you out during a good session.
but now’s not the time to get delusional.
“no. i want more.”
jungkook smiles broadly, teasing his lip ring with his teeth. he sits up to peel that skin-tight shirt off, and you don’t bother to stop yourself from staring at all that skin in front of you. your eyes drop further down when he removes his belt and undoes his jeans, pushing his pants and underwear down enough for you to see his v-line but not taking them off. is that an invitation for you to do it? "you hold the reins here," he says, lying back on the bed again. "do whatever you want to me."
“whatever i want?” you repeat, already sitting up. he nods, hands behind his head, and you take the initiative to straddle him again, knowing you’re getting his jeans wet.
you reach for his pecs first, just like you’d imagined downstairs. the firm muscle of them is mesmerizing; but when you slowly circle your thumb against his nipple and his eyes flutter, a small and breathy moan escaping his lips, you’re sure you enjoy this much more.
you play with his nipples and even work up the boldness to purse your lips around one, sucking it softly, and every noise that arises from him makes your clit tingle.
you eventually move your hands to his abs, enjoying how they flex at your touch. you didn't think his navel would be pierced, not hearing that detail in any of the sex tales you've eavesdropped on about jungkook, and you wonder what else you might find out about him tonight.
“you should do your nipples to match.” you suggest it without much thought as you’re teasing his navel piercing, though you don’t regret saying it.
“would you be into that?” jungkook sounds like he’s actually considering it, watching you from below his lashes.
you grin. you don’t know if you’ll actually end up having sex with him again to see them, but you answer, “i’d love it…it’d be sexy on you.”
sliding your hands further down still, you come to the waistband of his underwear, which is peeking over the top of his lowered jeans. for a second the nervousness returns; jungkook notices how your hands twitch with hesitation. “it’s fine, i’m not gonna bite you…unless you ask me to, though. here.”
he slips a hand into his underwear and grips his dick, though he doesn’t take it out right away; he strokes the shaft a few times, observing your reaction with expectant and hazy eyes. the scene before you makes your mouth dry. jungkook quickens his pace, twisting his hand at the tip and using his own precum as lube, until you are overcome with the desire to see it and you pull his underwear out of the way.
his cock is thick and flushed and glossy with precum. you don’t have much to compare it to, but it’s a good size, and all the previous women have said that he clearly knows what to do with it. he releases it and it slaps against his abs, leaving a streak of precum behind. when you look at him in anticipation of what he’ll do next, he grasps it again and starts stroking himself quickly, like he’s trying to get off. the wet slap of his motions and his quiet groans make your walls clench.
“i could keep fucking myself and you could watch, since you seem to prefer it…” he murmurs.
“no, i—let’s go all the way.”
jungkook smirks and answers your decision by pulling a condom out of his jean pocket. you watch as he unwraps it and slips it down his cock. though you’re already straddling him, he grasps your wrist and encourages you to draw nearer to him. “come here, pretty thing.”
when you’re hovering directly over him, jungkook grips the base and teases his tip against your entrance. “ready?” he asks.
“yeah,” you say breathlessly.
it’s a little slow-going, but you eventually end up with him seated inside you. it’s uncomfortable to be taking something bigger than a couple fingers, but it isn’t terribly painful.
“now, try moving your hips like this…” with his hands on your hips, jungkook helps you grind against him so that your clit slides across his pubic bone with every move. the discomfort begins to ebb out of your mind after a little while of doing this, and you laugh quietly.
“i thought…i thought this doesn’t feel good for men,” you sigh, your eyes closing from the bliss of his firm abdomen stimulating your clit. “this grinding thing, you know. or so a friend told me…”
jungkook laughs too, but he doesn’t confirm it like you expect him to. his only answer is, “a sexy woman on my dick will always feel good.”
he seems to be more about showing than telling, anyway. his hands reach for your breasts, groping them over the fabric of your dress before sliding underneath for better access. sporadic moans escape you as he plays with your nipples, making your clit throb harder and sending more warmth pooling in your abdomen.
your breath wheezes out of you when jungkook starts pushing up into you, his hands still squeezing your breasts. “you’re okay, baby…” he tries a few different angles until he pulls a visceral reaction out of you, your walls fluttering around him and your body shivering intensely. “mmm, there it is.”
your motions start tapering off as jungkook continues thrusting up against that same spot that had you in tears earlier. noticing this, he slips one hand back down to your hip and encourages you to maintain your pace, keeping your clit stimulated while meeting his thrusts. “you’re doing good…” he murmurs. “go ahead, keep fucking me just like that.”
you’re glad lorelai makes you go to the campus gym with her every week, because otherwise you’d be about to collapse riding him for this long. it takes more of your strength and stamina than you’d expected. no wonder jungkook stays in the gym.
“oh, fuck…” the way all his muscles flex as he repeatedly pushes up into you makes you wetter; you no longer have the wherewithal to be embarrassed about the gushy noises your pussy is creating. your whole world has whittled down to this one room, and all you can think about is your next orgasm.
“pull my hair again,” he requests, his eyes dark and lost in lust when he looks up at you.
"jungkook..." you grip his sweaty hair in your hand and pull it to bare his throat, and he gives a desperate moan, his member jerking inside you. you've never felt so in control of a situation before in your life. it gives you a straight adrenaline-slash-dopamine rush.
his neck is just there and exposed, flushed from exertion, and his physical responses make you feel so primal, like you could do absolutely anything to him right now and he’d enjoy it. because of this, you decide to bite his neck, if only to give your mouth something to do. his dick twitches again when you do, another pretty moan leaving his mouth.
his voice is strained when he says, “bite me harder.” when you let go, your mouth travels the expanse of his neck to leave marks in a few other places, digging in harder just as he asked of you.
“fuck, y/n—” the pain of your teeth is pushing him close to the edge too soon, so he slips his other hand out from under your dress and brings it lower to circle his fingers over your clit. jungkook adding his experienced fingers to his constant stimulation of your g-spot is enough to cause your release. your body slumps onto his as you squeeze around him, your head falling into the juncture of his neck and shoulder and your eyes shutting so tightly that you see wobbling shapes in the darkness.
jungkook gives you a few more thrusts rougher than the rest, causing you to cry out. your climax and the aftershocks have your mind so dizzy that you only just realize that he’s reaching his own peak, his muscles tensing and relaxing as he fills the condom with his cum. you hear him groan next to your ear, the sound of it filthy and uninhibited.
jungkook lifts your head from his shoulder, his thumbs on your cheeks, and his lips meet yours in a final slow kiss, his teeth leaving their mark on your bottom lip as a parting reminder.
you're still trying to get your bearings and slide him out of you when jungkook suddenly says, "what is that noise?"
"huh?" you remain immobile for a moment so you can listen more clearly, and you recognize the sounds of screaming and feet pounding on the floors in a bid to run away—both upstairs and downstairs. these don't sound like the same screams of pleasure from earlier. "what the hell?"
you and jungkook scramble to collect your clothes and get dressed, thankful that neither of you stripped down completely, and he throws the used condom into a random corner of the room. you're still making last minute adjustments when jungkook stands up and unlocks the door.
"the fuck is—?" his voice cuts off as if he can't finish his thought.
"what? what is it?" you stand up to get a better view around his body in the doorway, and you scream when you see a lone blonde girl lying a few feet away from the door, slumped against the opposite wall with a slashed throat. her pink party dress bleeds red, and her face that catches the illumination of the string lights glints with tear tracks. you look away from her unseeing eyes before you can cry out again.
jungkook seems confused, peering down the other end of the hallway like there'll be someone there to explain. "it...didn't work?" he asks to no one in particular, as you have no answer. you walk farther back into the room as if putting more distance between you and the body will provide some protection. bumping against the window sill, you turn around to look out the window and see several cars peeling out of the makeshift grass parking lot, nearly running over other people or hitting other cars on the way. you release a stifled scream from behind your hands when someone is too disoriented to get out of the way of the speeding cars and is sent flying through the air before landing painfully, their body now unmoving. the offending car never stops to check on them.
the screaming downstairs worsens, countless voices rising to a fever pitch of shouting and wailing, and you imagine this must be what the pits of hell sound like. jungkook whips around to look at you. “we gotta get the fuck out of here.”
you two inch out of the room with him in the lead, peering into jarred-open doorways to see if anybody could be waiting in the shadows. there are a couple of other bodies in two other rooms, and you wonder—even with the loud music constantly reverberating through the house, did you really not hear the struggles that led to these deaths in your throes of passion? the thought unnerves you. the idea that maybe you were only saved by jungkook deciding to lock the door…
the stair railing you’d walked by an hour ago is now broken in the middle, splinters of wood lying scattered on the stairs, along with more bodies lying on the steps just as haphazardly. the scene looks like the remnants of a stampede; you hope most of these people are just unconscious and not dead.
the dancefloor is a swarm of people in various states of undress pushing and pulling each other as they rush for the exit. there’s not as many people heading for the back door, everyone attempting to squeeze through the main entrance in their unthinking panic, so jungkook grabs your arm and the two of you pick your way through the bodies to get down the stairs as best you can. when you enter the mass of people, you’re exceptionally glad for his strength because it’s easier to get through the opposing crowd.
to reach the back door, you must first get through the kitchen. beside the kitchen entrance in a dark corner, you see someone doubled over and grasping the person in front of them for stability.
you realize belatedly that they have a knife in their stomach; the other person standing over them is the virgin killer himself, calmly watching them suffer.
the killer’s face is hidden by the mask he always wears, which you are seeing for the first time now, up-close—a hairy werewolf head with lemon-yellow eyes and a candy-red tongue. it’s so unexpected that you would’ve found it comedic if not for the context.
a guy in a blue sweater grasps the killer from behind in an attempted surprise attack, causing him to jerk the knife out of the other person’s stomach. the sudden movement causes a spray of blood to come flying off the knife, and you have to hold back vomit when drops of the warm, stinking crimson hit your face. though it feels like time has slowed to a mere creep, all of this happens within seconds.
you don’t see much more before jungkook is forcing you to move again.
you, jungkook, and multiple others barrel out of the back patio door, nearly ripping the flimsy screen door off its hinges in your haste, while the classmate in the blue sweater fruitlessly struggles with the killer in the kitchen. your leg muscles flex harder when you hear the person's agonized shout and the mushy rip of flesh being torn seconds later. almost everyone else has taken the same idea to run for their lives rather than stay and try to fight or disarm the killer; the streets are dotted in every direction with students running for any possible safety, many not having arrived to the party in cars to escape in.
thankfully, jungkook is not one of them.
he grasps your wrist painfully hard in his panic and yanks you in the direction of his car, which is so pitch black that you almost didn't see it sitting in the shadows.
when you get inside, you've never been so grateful to be within the safe metal enclosure of a car in your whole life. hands shaking, jungkook jams the key into the ignition and presses the gas pedal so hard your head jerks against the headrest. however, in your temporary relief, you think of lorelai. your vision doubles as you scramble to open your phone and call her, your head spinning with a new spike of fear. it rings for a while with no answer, and you try two more times only to get the same result.
"maybe she got to safety somewhere else?” jungkook tries to reason with you, his eyes bouncing between your face and the road ahead so he doesn't hit any other cars or any random students still running across the streets. "i didn't see her anywhere in the house before we ran out."
"that just means she could be hiding somewhere in there!" you shriek, unable to control your terror at your friend possibly being trapped in the house with the killer.
"well—maybe just let her stick it out, he won't find her if she just—"
"oh god, but i called her like three fucking times; what if he heard the phone ringing? i'm gonna kill myself."
“y/n, you’re overreacting like shit, there’s no way he’d hear a phone ringing in all that noise—"
unlistening, you drop your phone and bang your fists on your head in frustration and anguish.
sighing deeply, jungkook forgoes any attempt to do a 3-point turn, which requires more coordination than he has at the moment, and drives straight up into someone's yard to make a U-turn back toward the house.
you hadn’t gotten too far from the party house, so in another minute or two and with a couple messy turns that cause the wheels to ride up onto the curb, you’re back on the street leading up to the house. before you can reach it, though, jungkook slams on the breaks, and you have to throw your hands out onto the dashboard to avoid flying into it due to not fastening your seatbelt. you’re not very successful; the move hurts your wrists, and you’re pretty sure some of your ribs just got bruised anyway.
“what the fuck?” jungkook shouts.
the virgin killer with his lycanthrope mask is standing in the middle of the street; he turns to face the car. he has a chokehold grip on a guy you recognize as a popular frat member, who is almost bare except for his blue-plaid boxers. you remember seeing the frat guy dancing with his girlfriend when you and lorelai initially entered the party; he was in the group of guys who put this whole party together as a way to “save” the campus’s virgins.
the virgin killer is holding a gun to the guy’s head, and you have no clue where he might’ve gotten it from. the guy’s demeanor is weak, and he’s barely able to stand, which is obviously from the profuse blood loss he’s suffering; the killer has carved sharp letters into his stomach to form two words—“FAIR GAME.”
“fair game?” you mumble, a sickly realization forming in your mind.
“fuck no—" jungkook is already throwing the car into reverse when you hear and see the first bullet go off, exploding the frat member’s head into an unrecognizable mess and making you scream at the top of your lungs. you hear more shots after you close your eyes and tuck your body down, along with the sounds of bullets splitting metal and hitting glass, and you think you might be actively dying—or maybe you’re already dead. even that would be preferable to experiencing this nightmare.
you can’t think as you feel the whole world spinning, your body tossed violently around. in reality, the only thing moving is jungkook’s car as he whips the vehicle around and speeds down the same street you just traveled up.
for a few long minutes, you only hear your own heartbeat, his murmured and frantic curses, and the strained breaths coming from both of you. you keep your body curled up with your knees tucked to your chest and arms over your face. the car’s engine roars as it races down the highway.
you’re afraid to open your eyes and find out, but you have to at some point. plus, the uncomfortable position is making your body hurt. carefully, you unfurl yourself and turn to look at him. “did you get hurt?”
“uhh—no? i don’t think…?” he takes one hand off the wheel to feel up his body as if he’s just realizing that might be a possibility. “but i’m wired off pure adrenaline right now, so give me a few more minutes to be sure…” he looks to you. “are you?”
“no.” your blood still runs cold at the thought of lorelai being stuck in the house or navigating the dark neighborhood streets at this time of night. maybe she doesn’t even have her phone; maybe it was lost in the commotion. the number of possible scenarios makes you ill.
there’s silence for a while; you assume he must not be hurt after all. you start seeing familiar roads that lead back to the campus, and the gears in your mind begin turning, powered by fear.
“do you think it’s safe to go back to the college?” you ask, your voice small.
after a pause jungkook asks, “why not?” though his face begins to look like he’s second-guessing things.
“the killer could go back to the campus…i don’t know. there was so much violence tonight. it’s like he really has a grudge against the students from our school or something. what if he wants more victims? the campus police are already incompetent, but with most of them off the grounds and on their way to the party house…” you don’t finish your thought. you’ll need to warn camille of the potential danger.
“right, yeah…” jungkook’s hands flex around the steering wheel a few times. “we should…probably go somewhere else, then.”
nowhere feels safe. still, you ask, “where?”
changing his route, jungkook glances over at you. “to a friend’s house.”
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Note
I (26, NB) dropped a long-term friend (23, not disclosing gender, I'll call them X) for being a proshipper, and now they're trying to get in the way of my other friendships.
A little more than a month ago, an old friend from when I was an itty bitty teen on the internet (we met when they were 12 and I was 15 or so) messaged me on twitter asking if we could share discord since they're more active on that platform, and they missed hanging out. Ok, no prob!! I missed talking to X and life was going kinda icky for me at the time. We exchanged discords and started talking more frequently, before we would talk through twitter dms maybe one day every few months, and we went from almost no contact to talking every single day. It was like being a teenager again; we still shared similar interests and we really fast clicked over old and new fandoms we were in. We talked about college and how they're starting to get the hang of their new job but needed support, talked about our family lives, etc., and in general I felt really comfortable and happy to be chatting again with someone I've known for so long. We were inseparable for weeks.
However... of course, as adults, and having known each other for YEARS, we started talking about fandom ships and fics we enjoyed. We didn't have the same taste in pairings, but that was okay. Until it wasn't anymore.
I shared my NSFW twitter with them, and they followed me. A few minutes later X told me, "I see you have "proship DNI in your bio, I just want to let you know that I am a pro-ship and enjoy some things in fandom that you might think is gross. I hope that's okay."
I was kind of weirded out, and told them that as long as they didn't like anything that would be criminal in real life, that's fine. They told me they *did* enjoy things in fiction that they "wouldn't condone in reality" and even though they "don't talk about it publicly" they still wanted me to know. For some reason. ?? Even though they KNOW that I have an irl history of abuse as a kid, they still told me this.
I was so fucking uncomfortable and really, really sad, and honestly I felt betrayed? I stepped away from my account for like, an hour before messaging them back and saying I didn't want to continue talking to them anymore. That I didn't know they were that kind of person and I'm not comfortable being their friend. I didn't read their response to me because I soft-blocked them.
While I was getting over that and trying to move on, a few days later I was talking to another mutual friend of ours when they asked if I was still friends with X. I got chills remembering how I broke off with them, and said no, we weren't talking anymore. That they were the kind of person that made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to be around. The mutual friend, I'll call R, said that X was "feeling kind of down about losing a friend recently" and talked about it in a discord server they share. X didn't mention my name but R wondered if it was me who dropped them since I was really touchy about boundaries online. I freaked out a little thinking about them talking about me, and asked what else they said, and R told me "not much, just that they felt sad but it was your choice in the end because you two were different" and I don't know why but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Were they trying to make people seem like I was the bad guy or something?? Idk.
I told R the reason why I stopped talking to X, and that X is a proshipper who likes things like inc*st and rape, and R wasn't as supportive as I thought he would be, saying that he understood how I felt but if X was being honest and open about their interests, it probably meant they trusted me and didn't want to "lie" to me. I don't understand how that's even relevant if X is a fucking proshipper. I don't want their trust in the first place if that's who they really are, and I felt betrayed that someone I knew for so long was hiding that for me until we were bonding again. R basically dropped it there and said "idk then" and I told him I was going to shut off my notifs for a bit. I really don't want to talk with him again right now especially since he didn't seem THAT bothered by X being a proshipper who's into really criminal shit.
Since then, friends of mine who are also friends with R (because he's a friend of X still, for some reason), haven't been replying to me as much anymore and I'm super sensitive to noticing these things, at first I told myself it was nothing, but there's an obvious decrease in our interactions. I can't help but think that X actually said bad stuff about me, and R didn't want me to know, or maybe X convinced R that I was a terrible person or something. I still haven't read X's reply to me because I genuinely do not want to interact with them ever again, but for the past few days I've been so angry and hurt by my other friend's actions that I can't help but want to blame them, since this all started when I left them.
AITA for dropping a friend because their interests made me SEVERELY uncomfortable? I don't know what to do.
What are these acronyms?
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heartfullofleeches · 1 year
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Yan Cheater + Cheater Reader
Yan Cheaters are funny lemme try-
Yan Cheater who sees their darling dearest out on the town alone. You should be with them, but they'll fix that shortly. You're the person of their dreams and after so many failed relationships they're happy to find the right one. On their way over, their entire world crumbles as you're seen hugging and chatting up some random with a closeness you've never showed them. The unfamiliar face slings an arm around your shoulder as you walk off together - laughing as if you were without guilt.
You heartless bitch. How could you? After they'd give you their heart - their everything. Fine, fuck you - they could do the same thing. After crying through the night and crying their eyes they hit up a past fling to forget all about you; aggravated that all they can think of as the look at their partner is features that remind them of you. They ignore your calls, block you on everything, and have the time of their life with whoever's available... And looks like you.
The first time you saw them with someone else you turned tail and ran, saving your tears for a better time and person. Good - run off. You know what you did. They won't chase you - no matter how red their heart bleeds after seeing you after so long. You meet again at a party a mutual friend left in the dark was throwing. You, for closure - them, looking for a new body to take home. They couldn't even hide their disgust as you stomped up to them, two lockets in hand.
"What the hell did I do to you...."
They scoff. Trying to play innocent? "You know what you did."
"No! No I don't! You ghost me for weeks and never seem to be home when I try to talk to you, but the second I see you, you have your arm around somebody else. As far I remember, we were happy together. What did I do to you to deserve this?!"
"Hm... I think it was roughly a month ago. You and that little whore you met outside that coffee shop that just opened."
"Coffee shop?... Wha-" Your eyes widen. Unable to control your anger, you slap them across the face so hard the blow rattles in their teeth. They clutch their jaw. You little-
"That was my cousin, asshole!"
You toss the necklaces to the ground, two sets of initials engraved on their fronts.
"You didn't even bother to ask me about it before you ran off. If you really loved me, you wouldn't say something instead of jumping to conclusions. I knew dating you was a mistake. You spineless coward."
Their tongue feels heavy, likely cut on their teeth from your blow - bleeding; just like the heart they thought they lost. In a way - they truly had.
"Couldn't get a refund since they were custom" You spit on the fallen jewelry as you turn your back to them. "Happy Anniversary."
They fall to their knees, crawling after you as you fall into the crowd - grabbing your ankle. "No, baby. Please, baby - I fucked up bad, I know, but I can make this up to you. Sweetheart please - I'll delete everyone in my phone right now, even my parents. You'll be the only one. You're all I need. Baby, see? I'm doing it - look. Look at me - I'm sorry. Angel? Honey? D- don't leave me... DON'T LEAVE ME."
You have to change your phone number the very next day from all the calls you receive from the burner phones they purchased that same night to speak their part. Jobs too - as they stand outside and harass customers since your boss refused to let them in by your own wishes - accusing everyone of trying to take you away from them. You return home one day to find your front door unlocked and before you can realize the danger you step inside - your ex waiting with a carbon copy of every gift you threw out and wearing everything you ever gave them.
"Darling... I'm wearing that shirt you bought me last Christmas. I honestly thought it was hideous - but...it came from you. I'm wearing that hoodie you thought you lost too. I lied because I wanted to have something that smells like you to keep. It doesn't smell much like you anymore. Only my tears. I'm sorry - I won't ever lie to you again. You're perfect. My sweet angel. Please...give me a second chance. I don't know what I'll do if you don't."
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shuagirl · 4 days
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SO WHAT? YOU'RE NOT MY BOYFRIEND. | C.S
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pairings. choi seungcheol x fem!reader genres. smut [s] angst [a]
summary. your roommate ruins your date night and treats you with something better.
warnings. smut, unprotected sex, swearing, angst, jealousy, emotional confrontation, masturbation (Male and Female Receiving) clit stimulation, oral sex (Female Receiving) hair pulling, aftercare, dirty talk, overstimulation
( marvy ) yeahhh been a few weeks sorry been trying to catch up w some things... felt the need to write some simple cheol, smut ;) // OMG ITS NEARLY SUMMER FINALLYYY!!! hope you guys are okay and thank you for the reblogs and support <3
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It was another late night at the office, the clock nearing midnight as the soft hum of computers and the occasional shuffle of papers filled the air. You leaned back in your chair, stretching your arms above your head and stifling a yawn. Across the room, Seungcheol was doing the same, his eyes meeting yours with a familiar glint. This had become your routine – working late into the night, side by side, before heading back to your shared apartment.
"Are you ready to call it a night?" Seungcheol asked, his voice breaking the silence.
You nodded, shutting down your computer. "Definitely. I think I’ve stared at this screen long enough to see the code in my sleep."
He chuckled, standing up and grabbing his jacket. "I know the feeling. Let's get out of here."
The walk back to your apartment was quiet, the streets deserted and the air crisp. It was a short distance, just a few blocks, and the familiarity of the path made the silence comfortable. When you reached the apartment, Seungcheol unlocked the door and held it open for you, a small gesture that always made you smile.
Once inside, the routine continued. You dropped your bags by the door, kicked off your shoes, and headed to the kitchen. "Want something to drink?" you called over your shoulder.
"Sure, just water for me," he replied, disappearing into his room to change out of his work clothes.
You poured two glasses of water and settled onto the couch, waiting for him to return. Moments later, he emerged in his usual post-work attire – gray sweatpants and a plain T-shirt, looking effortlessly handsome. He joined you on the couch, taking his glass with a grateful nod.
"Long day," he said, taking a sip.
"Tell me about it," you replied, leaning back against the cushions. "I don't know how much longer I can keep up with these late nights."
He turned to you, a playful smirk on his lips. "You say that every night, and yet here we are."
You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips. "Yeah, yeah. Don't remind me."
This was your life – a blend of work and personal time that blurred the lines between professional and intimate. Seungcheol was more than just a co-worker; he was your confidant, your roommate, and the one constant in your hectic life. The nights often ended like this, with the two of you sitting close, sharing quiet moments that hinted at something more.
It had started innocently enough, a mutual attraction that neither of you had acknowledged at first. But late nights at the office had a way of breaking down barriers, and before long, your relationship had shifted into something physical. There was an unspoken agreement between you – no strings attached, no complications, just a way to unwind after the stress of the day. And it worked, for the most part.
The routine was simple and comforting. After sharing a drink and some light conversation, the atmosphere would naturally shift. Seungcheol would give you that look, the one that made your heart skip a beat and sent a shiver down your spine. It was a look that promised escape from the day's stress and a dive into something much more exhilarating.
"Ready for bed?" he would ask, though the question always held a double meaning.
"Yeah," you’d reply, though the answer was never just about sleep.
You both moved with a practiced ease, the kind that comes from familiarity and mutual understanding. There were no awkward hesitations or second guesses – just a smooth transition from the living room to the bedroom. Seungcheol would wrap his arms around you from behind as you brushed your teeth, his lips brushing against your neck, sending a thrill through you. These moments of quiet intimacy were as much a part of your routine as the more passionate encounters that followed.
In the bedroom, the air would be thick with anticipation. Seungcheol had a way of looking at you that made you feel like the most important person in the world. He was attentive, always knowing exactly what you needed without you having to say a word. It was this unspoken connection that made your arrangement work so well. He understood you, and you understood him.
He would start slowly, his touch gentle yet firm, his kisses soft but growing more urgent as the moments passed. There was a rhythm to it, a dance that you both knew the steps to by heart. The way his hands roamed your body, the way he whispered your name – it was a routine that brought both of you immense comfort and satisfaction.
"You're so beautiful," he'd murmur against your skin, his voice husky with desire.
"And you're insufferable," you'd tease back, your breath hitching as his hands found their way to your most sensitive spots.
But beneath the teasing and the passion, there was a deeper connection. The routine was more than just physical release; it was a way for both of you to unwind and find solace in each other. The world outside could be chaotic and demanding, but in those moments, everything else faded away.
Afterwards, you would lie together in a tangled mess of limbs and sheets, the post-coital glow making everything feel warm and safe. Seungcheol would hold you close, his fingers lazily tracing patterns on your skin. It was in these quiet moments that you felt the most at peace.
"You should try to get some sleep," he'd whisper, his breath warm against your ear.
"I will," you'd reply, though you often found yourself staying awake a little longer, savoring the feeling of his body next to yours.
One morning, as you and Seungcheol were enjoying a lazy breakfast together, you decided to share some news that had been on your mind. It was your day off, and the apartment was filled with the comforting scent of freshly brewed coffee and the soft hum of the radio playing in the background. You had been chatting casually about work and plans for the day when you took a deep breath and decided to bring it up.
"Hey, Seungcheol," you started, trying to keep your tone light and casual, "I wanted to let you know that I’m bringing a friend over tonight. His name is Haru."
Seungcheol's reaction was subtle, but you noticed it immediately. His grip on his coffee mug tightened slightly, and there was a brief flash of something in his eyes – jealousy, perhaps? – before he quickly masked it with a neutral expression.
"Oh?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "A friend, huh? What's the occasion?"
You shrugged, trying to hide your own nervousness. "Just thought it would be nice to hang out. Haru and I have been talking for a while, and I thought it would be good to introduce him to you."
There was a beat of silence as Seungcheol processed this information. He took a sip of his coffee, his eyes studying you over the rim of his mug. "I see. Well, it’s your place too. You can invite whoever you want."
You nodded, feeling a mix of relief and apprehension. You had expected some sort of reaction from Seungcheol, but his indifference felt almost worse than outright disapproval. You couldn’t quite place it, but there was an undercurrent of tension in the air now, a silent understanding that things might be changing.
The rest of the day was a whirlwind of activity as you prepared for Haru’s visit. You spent hours cleaning the apartment, making sure everything was perfect. The kitchen was spotless, the living room was tidy, and you even put fresh sheets on the guest bed just in case. All the while, Seungcheol watched you with a mixture of amusement and something else you couldn’t quite identify.
"You're really going all out for this guy, huh?" he remarked, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen as you bustled around.
"Well, I want to make a good impression," you replied, trying to sound casual. "It's important to me."
Seungcheol just nodded, his expression unreadable. "If you say so."
As the day wore on, your excitement grew, but so did your anxiety. You couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to Seungcheol's reaction than he was letting on. You had always valued your relationship with him, but you also knew that things couldn't stay the same forever. Introducing someone new into your life felt like a step forward, but it also felt like a step away from the comfortable routine you had built with Seungcheol.
The afternoon sun filtered through the windows, casting a warm glow on the apartment. You found yourself glancing at the clock more often than usual, your heart beating a little faster with each passing minute. You had spent so much time with Seungcheol, sharing laughs, secrets, and intimate moments, that the thought of changing that dynamic was both thrilling and terrifying.
Seungcheol, meanwhile, tried to focus on his own tasks. He moved around the apartment with an air of forced nonchalance, his usual confidence replaced with a slight edge of unease. He couldn't deny the pang of jealousy that gnawed at him, but he also didn't want to overstep any boundaries. You were free to see whoever you wanted, and he had no right to interfere. Still, the thought of you being with someone else made his chest tighten.
"Need any help with dinner?" Seungcheol offered, his voice breaking the silence that had settled between you.
You looked up from the vegetables you were chopping and smiled. "Sure, you can set the table."
As he busied himself with plates and cutlery, Seungcheol couldn't help but steal glances at you. There was a lightness in your step, a brightness in your eyes that he hadn't seen before. It was clear that you were genuinely excited about Haru's visit, and that realization made his heart ache just a little bit more.
"What's he like?" Seungcheol asked, trying to sound casual.
"Haru?" You paused, thinking about how to describe him. "He's sweet, funny, and really kind. We've been talking a lot, and I think there's something special between us."
Seungcheol nodded, forcing a smile. "That's great. I'm glad you're happy."
You sensed the underlying tension in his words but chose not to push it. Instead, you focused on the task at hand, preparing a meal that you hoped would impress Haru. As the aroma of cooking filled the apartment, you allowed yourself to relax, reminding yourself that this was a positive step forward.
By the time evening rolled around, everything was ready. The table was set, the food was prepared, and you had even taken the time to freshen up and change into something nice. As you gave yourself a final once-over in the mirror, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the evening ahead.
Just as you were about to head back to the living room, there was a knock at the door. Your heart leaped in your chest, and you quickly moved to answer it. Opening the door, you were greeted by Haru's warm smile.
"Hey," he said, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. "You look amazing."
"Thanks," you replied, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks. "Come in."
Haru stepped inside, and you took a moment to admire him. He was tall and lean, with dark hair that fell slightly over his eyes and a charming, easygoing demeanor. He wore a casual outfit – jeans and a fitted shirt that showed off his athletic build. There was an air of confidence about him that put you at ease and made you feel excited about the evening ahead.
As you led Haru into the apartment, you couldn't help but feel a surge of pride. You had worked hard to make everything perfect, and now it was time to see how the evening would unfold. You guided him to the living room, where the table was set, and the aroma of the dinner you had prepared filled the air.
"This looks fantastic," Haru said, glancing around appreciatively. "You really went all out."
You smiled, feeling a warm glow of satisfaction. "I just wanted to make sure you felt welcome."
Just as you were about to introduce him to Seungcheol, you heard the sound of a door opening behind you. Seungcheol stepped out of his room, wearing his usual post-work attire of gray sweatpants and no shirt. His appearance was casual, yet it held an undeniable magnetism.
His well-defined muscles, honed from hours at the gym, moved with an effortless grace. His broad shoulders and chiseled chest caught the light just right, casting shadows that emphasized his sculpted physique. But it was his face that truly captivated – a strong, chiseled jawline framed a mouth that could shift from a teasing smile to a serious line in an instant. His dark hair was tousled, giving him an endearingly roguish look, while his eyes, a piercing shade of deep brown, held an intensity that made it hard to look away.
There was a certain scent about him, a mix of clean soap and something distinctly his, that lingered in the air and made your heart race. As he moved, there was an air of confidence and quiet strength about him, yet a hint of vulnerability in the way his eyes flickered over to you, just for a moment, before settling on Haru.
Seungcheol stopped in his tracks, his gaze locking onto Haru and then drifting down to where your hands were still connected. The room seemed to freeze in that moment, an awkward silence enveloping you all.
"Hey," Seungcheol finally said, his voice low and rich, like a warm breeze. "I didn't realize we had company."
You quickly dropped Haru's hand, feeling a bit flustered. "Seungcheol, this is Haru. Haru, this is my roommate, Seungcheol."
Haru extended a hand, smiling politely. "Nice to meet you."
Seungcheol glanced at the outstretched hand, his eyes narrowing slightly. He made no move to take it, instead crossing his arms over his chest, his expression remaining cool and unreadable. "Likewise," he said, his gaze never leaving Haru's face.
There was a palpable tension in the air, and you couldn't quite understand why. Seungcheol's usual easygoing demeanor seemed to have been replaced by something more guarded and intense. You brushed it off, attributing it to the sudden change in routine.
"Why don't you join us for dinner?" you suggested, trying to ease the awkwardness.
Seungcheol glanced at the table, then back at you. "I was just going to grab a snack," he said, his tone casual. "But thanks for the offer."
Ignoring the lingering tension, you led Haru to the dining table and gestured for him to sit. As you brought out the food, Seungcheol moved to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge with an air of nonchalance that seemed almost too forced. He emerged with a bottle of water and a snack, then leaned against the counter, watching you and Haru with a look that you couldn't quite decipher.
"So, how did you two meet?" Seungcheol asked, his voice cutting through the quiet conversation you were having with Haru.
"We met through a mutual friend," Haru explained, smiling at you. "It’s been really nice getting to know Y/N."
"That's great," Seungcheol replied, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. "Y/N is pretty amazing."
The compliment, though genuine, felt loaded with unspoken words. You glanced at Seungcheol, trying to gauge his mood, but his expression was unreadable. You turned your attention back to Haru, determined to make the evening enjoyable despite the strange undercurrent of tension.
As the evening progressed, the atmosphere in the room grew increasingly strained. You and Haru settled into a comfortable rhythm, your conversation flowing easily despite the occasional pointed look from Seungcheol. Haru seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say, and you found yourself relaxing more with each passing minute. The food was delicious, and the atmosphere should have been perfect, but you couldn't shake the feeling that Seungcheol was watching your every move with a scrutinizing gaze.
"So, Haru," Seungcheol interjected suddenly, his voice slicing through the lighthearted chatter with the precision of a well-aimed dagger. "What line of work keeps you occupied?"
Haru looked up, momentarily startled by the abrupt inquiry. "I'm a graphic designer," he replied, offering a polite smile. "I work at a small agency downtown."
"Fascinating," Seungcheol drawled, leaning back in his chair with a languid grace that belied the intensity of his gaze. "It must be quite rewarding to indulge in such creative endeavors. Y/N and I, alas, are consigned to the monotonous world of numbers and figures."
You shot Seungcheol a pointed look, silently beseeching him to temper his remarks. However, he merely quirked an eyebrow, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips as if he were savoring the undercurrent of tension he had created.
"It has its moments," Haru conceded, his smile faltering ever so slightly under the weight of Seungcheol's scrutiny. "I do enjoy the creative challenges."
"Good for you," Seungcheol replied, his tone laced with a veneer of civility that did little to mask the sarcasm lurking beneath. "It's always heartening to hear of someone finding fulfillment in their work."
Sensing the rising tension, you endeavored to steer the conversation back to safer waters. "Haru, you were telling me about that fascinating project with the interactive website. Do go on."
Haru's face brightened at the change of topic, and he launched into an enthusiastic description of his latest project. You listened with genuine interest, but you couldn't ignore the way Seungcheol's eyes kept flickering back to you, his expression a perplexing blend of amusement and something darker.
As the evening wore on, Seungcheol's interruptions grew more frequent and increasingly pointed. He made snarky comments about the food, pointed out trivial inconsistencies in Haru's stories, and even "accidentally" bumped into you as he moved about the apartment. Each incident seemed designed to unnerve Haru, whose initial charm was gradually giving way to visible discomfort.
"Excuse me," Seungcheol said at one point, reaching across the table with a deliberate nonchalance that belied his true intent. He managed to knock over Haru's glass of water, sending a cascade of liquid across the table. "Oops. My apologies."
You quickly grabbed a towel to mop up the spill, your frustration simmering just below the surface. "It's fine," you said through clenched teeth, attempting to maintain your composure. "No harm done."
Haru forced a smile, but the strain was evident in his eyes. "It's okay," he murmured, though his voice lacked its earlier warmth.
Seungcheol's behavior was wearing on your nerves, and you couldn't fathom why he was acting this way. He had never been so openly antagonistic before, and it was starting to fray your patience. All you wanted was to enjoy your evening with Haru, but Seungcheol seemed hell-bent on making that impossible.
The final straw came when Seungcheol "accidentally" brushed against Haru's arm as he walked past, causing Haru to drop his fork with a loud clatter. The sound reverberated through the tense silence, amplifying the growing discord.
"Seriously?" you snapped, your eyes flashing with indignation as you glared at Seungcheol. "Can you please give us a moment's peace?"
Seungcheol raised an eyebrow, his expression one of feigned innocence. "I was merely getting a drink," he said, holding up his glass as if to underscore his point.
"Well, can you manage it without causing a scene?" you retorted, your frustration boiling over.
Haru placed a soothing hand on your arm, his touch gentle and calming. "It's okay, Y/N," he said softly, his eyes beseeching you to let it go. "Really, it's fine."
But it wasn't fine. You could see the hurt and confusion in Haru's eyes, and it only fueled your anger further. Seungcheol was ruining what should have been a pleasant evening, and you were at a loss to understand why.
The tension in the room had reached a palpable peak, a silent battle of wills between Seungcheol and Haru with you caught in the crossfire. The evening that you had hoped would be a pleasant introduction of new possibilities had turned into a minefield of unspoken emotions and escalating conflict.
Seungcheol's final act of sabotage came as the three of you attempted to settle down in the living room. You had just suggested watching a movie, hoping it might diffuse the tension, when Seungcheol abruptly stood up, his eyes glinting with barely concealed irritation.
"I don't think this is working out," he announced, his voice ringing with a finality that froze you in place. He turned to Haru, his expression hardening. "I think it's time for you to leave."
Haru's eyes widened in shock, his calm demeanor slipping as he struggled to process Seungcheol's blunt dismissal. "Excuse me?" he said, his voice tinged with disbelief.
"You heard me," Seungcheol replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "This isn't your place, and I think it's best if you leave now."
You felt a rush of anger and embarrassment flood your cheeks. "Seungcheol, what the hell are you doing?" you demanded, stepping between him and Haru. "You can't just kick him out like this!"
Seungcheol's eyes met yours, a storm of emotions swirling within them. "I'm doing what needs to be done," he said, his tone unyielding.
Haru stood up, his expression a mixture of hurt and frustration. "It's okay, Y/N," he said, his voice resigned. "I'll go. This isn't worth the trouble."
You turned to Haru, your heart sinking. "I'm so sorry, Haru. This is not how I wanted tonight to go."
Haru managed a small, sad smile. "It's not your fault," he said softly. "I'll call you later."
As Haru gathered his things and headed for the door, you felt a pang of guilt and regret. This was supposed to be a simple, pleasant evening, and now it was ending in disaster. Once the door closed behind Haru, the silence in the apartment was deafening.
You turned to Seungcheol, your anger boiling over. "What the hell was that for?" you shouted, your voice shaking with fury. "You just ruined my date! Why would you do that?"
Seungcheol's jaw tightened, his eyes flashing with a mix of defiance and something else you couldn't quite place. "He wasn't right for you," he said flatly.
"That's not for you to decide!" you shot back, your frustration reaching a breaking point. "You had no right to interfere like that. Haru is a good guy, and you just humiliated him for no reason!"
Seungcheol took a step closer, his presence towering over you. "I couldn't just stand by and watch you pretend everything was fine when it clearly wasn't," he said, his voice low and intense. "You deserve better than some guy who doesn't even know you."
"Better?" you echoed, incredulous. "And who are you to say what I deserve? You've made it very clear that our...whatever this is...doesn't mean anything beyond a few nights of fun. You don't get to dictate who I see or don't see."
Seungcheol's eyes darkened, his frustration matching your own. "Is that what you think?" he demanded, his voice rough with emotion. "That this doesn't mean anything to me?"
You crossed your arms, trying to shield yourself from the vulnerability his words evoked. "What else am I supposed to think? You keep things casual, no strings attached. That's what we agreed on."
"And maybe I was wrong," Seungcheol said, his voice softer now, but no less intense. "Maybe I want more than that. Maybe I want you."
The words hung in the air between you, a raw and unfiltered confession that left you reeling. You searched his eyes, looking for any sign that he was playing with you, but all you saw was sincerity and a depth of emotion that took your breath away.
The silence following Seungcheol's confession was thick with tension, each second stretching like an eternity. You stood there, heart pounding, grappling with the raw honesty of his words. The anger that had fueled your argument moments ago was now mingled with confusion and a flicker of something unnamed and unsettling.
"Y/N," Seungcheol began, stepping closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "I mean it. I want you."
You opened your mouth to respond, to argue, but before you could utter a single word, Seungcheol closed the distance between you. His hands cupped your face with a tenderness that belied the intensity of his emotions, and then his lips were on yours, silencing your protests in an instant.
The kiss was both unexpected and overwhelming. Seungcheol's lips were warm and insistent, moving against yours with a fervor that took your breath away. For a moment, you were lost in the sensation, the world narrowing to the points where your bodies connected. His kiss was demanding yet tender, a blend of passion and desperation that made your heart race.
But just as quickly, the reality of the situation crashed back over you. You pulled away, your breath coming in short, uneven gasps. "No," you said, shaking your head as if to clear it. "You don't get to do that."
Seungcheol's eyes searched yours, a mix of confusion and hurt flashing across his face. "Y/N, I—"
"No," you interrupted, your voice trembling with a mixture of anger and frustration. "You can't just kiss me and expect everything to be okay. You don't get to treat me like some casual hookup and then suddenly decide you want more. It doesn't work like that."
Seungcheol took a step back, his hands dropping to his sides. "That's not what I'm doing," he said, his voice low but steady. "It's not like that."
"Then what is it?" you demanded, crossing your arms over your chest in a defensive gesture. "Because all you've ever wanted from me is something casual. And now, after ruining my date, you think you can just change the rules?"
"Y/N, please," Seungcheol pleaded, his eyes filled with a vulnerability that made your heart ache. "Just listen to me."
You hesitated, the sincerity in his voice giving you pause. "Fine," you said, your tone still guarded. "I'm listening."
Seungcheol took a deep breath, as if gathering his thoughts. "I know I've been an idiot," he began, his voice steady but tinged with regret. "I've been hiding how I really feel because I was scared. Scared of messing things up between us, scared of losing you if it didn't work out."
You frowned, your anger slowly giving way to confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about how much you mean to me," Seungcheol said, taking a step closer. "I'm talking about how I can't stand the thought of you being with someone else because it makes me realize just how much I care about you. This isn't just some fling for me, Y/N. It never was."
His words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of unspoken emotions. You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the raw honesty in his expression. It was a side of Seungcheol you hadn't seen before, and it left you reeling.
"But you never said anything," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "You never gave me any indication that you felt this way."
"I know," Seungcheol admitted, his voice thick with regret. "And I'm sorry for that. I thought I could keep things casual, that it would be easier that way. But seeing you with Haru... it made me realize that I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that what we have doesn't mean everything to me."
You stared at him, your mind racing as you tried to process everything he was saying. The anger that had fueled your argument was slowly giving way to a deeper, more complex mix of emotions. Part of you wanted to believe him, to take the leap and see where it could lead. But another part of you was still hurt, still wary of getting your heart broken.
The silence hung heavy between you, laden with the weight of unspoken words and the raw, intense emotions that Seungcheol’s confession had unearthed. You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the raw vulnerability that he rarely showed. And in that moment, your resolve began to waver.
“Seungcheol,” you began, your voice trembling, “I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t say anything,” he replied, stepping closer, his gaze unwavering. “Just let me show you how I feel.”
Before you could respond, he closed the distance between you, capturing your lips in a kiss that was both fervent and tender. His hands moved to your waist, pulling you against him, and you felt your body respond to his touch, the anger and confusion melting away, replaced by a burning desire.
His kiss deepened, his tongue sliding against yours with a sensuality that made your knees weak. You clung to him, your hands tangling in his hair as you surrendered to the intensity of the moment. Seungcheol’s hands roamed over your body, his touch igniting a fire in your veins.
He broke the kiss, his breath ragged as he looked down at you, his eyes dark with desire. “I need you, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice rough with longing. “I need you to know how much you mean to me.”
You nodded, unable to find your voice. He took your hand, leading you to the bedroom, each step filled with anticipation and unspoken promises. Once inside, he turned to you, his gaze smoldering.
“Undress for me,” he commanded softly, his eyes never leaving yours.
With trembling hands, you complied, shedding your clothes until you stood bare before him. Seungcheol’s eyes roamed over your body, his expression one of awe and desire. He stepped closer, his hands moving to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples, sending shivers down your spine.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “I want to make you feel good. Will you let me?”
You nodded again, your breath hitching as his hands trailed down your body, leaving a path of fire in their wake. He knelt before you, his eyes locking onto yours as he pressed a kiss to your inner thigh, his tongue darting out to taste your skin.
The sensation was electric, and you felt a surge of arousal as his mouth moved closer to your core. He parted your folds with his fingers, his tongue flicking over your clit with a skill that made you gasp. Seungcheol’s hands gripped your hips, holding you steady as he devoured you, his tongue and lips working in tandem to bring you to the brink of ecstasy.
“Oh, God, Seungcheol,” you moaned, your hands fisting in his hair as your hips bucked against his mouth. “Don’t stop.”
He hummed in response, the vibration sending another wave of pleasure through you. His tongue circled your clit, teasing and tormenting you until you were trembling with need. He slid two fingers inside you, curling them to hit that sweet spot, and you cried out, your body arching towards him.
Seungcheol didn’t relent, his mouth and fingers working together to drive you closer and closer to the edge. You could feel the tension building, a coil tightening in your belly, and then it snapped, a tidal wave of pleasure crashing over you as you came, your cries echoing in the room.
He didn’t stop, his movements gentle as he coaxed you through the aftershocks, his eyes never leaving your face. When you finally came down, he stood, his fingers trailing your slick arousal up to your lips.
“Open,” he instructed, and you obeyed, taking his fingers into your mouth, tasting yourself on his skin. The look of pure desire in his eyes made your pulse quicken, and you sucked his fingers clean, reveling in the way he watched you.
“Good girl,” he praised, his voice a low rumble. He kissed you again, his tongue exploring your mouth with a possessiveness that made your knees weak. You could taste yourself on his lips, the mingling of flavors heightening your arousal once more.
Seungcheol broke the kiss, his hands moving to undo his pants. “Lie down,” he instructed, and you did, stretching out on the bed, your body still humming with the remnants of your orgasm.
He shed his clothes quickly, his erection standing proud as he joined you on the bed. He knelt between your legs, his eyes drinking in the sight of you spread out before him. “I’m going to make you feel so good,” he promised, his voice thick with need.
He took his cock in hand, stroking it slowly as he watched you. “Touch yourself,” he ordered, and you complied, your fingers finding your clit, rubbing in slow, deliberate circles as you watched him.
Seungcheol groaned, his hand moving faster on his cock as he watched you pleasure yourself. “That’s it, baby,” he murmured, his eyes locked on yours. “Make yourself come for me.”
You bit your lip, your fingers moving faster, the combination of his gaze and the sensation pushing you closer to the edge. “Seungcheol,” you moaned, your body tensing as you felt your orgasm building once more.
“Come for me,” he commanded, his voice rough with desire. “Come for me, Y/N.”
His words pushed you over the edge, and you came with a cry, your body trembling with the force of your release. Seungcheol watched you, his hand moving faster on his cock as he brought himself to the brink.
He leaned over you, his eyes burning with need. “I need to be inside you,” he said, his voice a raw whisper. “I need to feel you.”
You nodded, spreading your legs wider in invitation. Seungcheol positioned himself at your entrance, his cock slick with your arousal. He pushed in slowly, the sensation of him filling you making you gasp.
He set a slow, steady pace, each thrust deep and deliberate. The pleasure built with each movement, the intensity of the connection between you making your head spin. Seungcheol’s hands gripped your hips, pulling you closer, his eyes never leaving yours.
“Look at me,” he murmured, his voice a soft command. “I want to see you.”
You locked eyes with him, the depth of emotion in his gaze taking your breath away. The rhythm of his thrusts increased, the pleasure building to a fever pitch. He reached down, his fingers finding your clit, rubbing in time with his thrusts.
The combination was too much, and you felt yourself hurtling towards another orgasm, the intensity overwhelming. “Seungcheol,” you gasped, your body arching towards him.
“Come for me,” he urged, his voice rough with need. “I want to feel you come around me.”
His words sent you spiraling over the edge, your orgasm crashing over you with a force that left you breathless. Seungcheol followed you, his release spilling into you as he groaned your name, the sensation of him filling you only heightening your pleasure.
He collapsed beside you, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. You turned to him, your body still humming with the aftershocks of your release. He pulled you close, his lips pressing gentle kisses to your forehead.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly, his hand smoothing over your hair.
You nodded, your heart full. “I’m more than okay,” you replied, your voice a whisper. “I’m perfect.”
Seungcheol smiled, his eyes warm with affection. “Good,” he said, pulling you even closer. “Because I’m not letting you go.”
The promise in his words wrapped around you, a comforting reassurance of the depth of his feelings. In that moment, you knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, you would face them together. And that was all you needed.
The first light of dawn filtered through the curtains, casting a soft, golden glow over the room. You stirred, nestled in the warmth of Seungcheol’s embrace, his arm draped protectively around your waist. For a moment, you lay still, savoring the tranquility of the morning, the quiet intimacy that enveloped you both.
Seungcheol shifted beside you, his eyes fluttering open. A slow smile spread across his face as he took in the sight of you in his arms. "Good morning," he murmured, his voice husky with sleep.
"Good morning," you replied, your own smile matching his.
He leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "How did you sleep?" he asked, his lips trailing soft kisses down your temple and along your cheek.
"Better than I have in a long time," you admitted, feeling a warmth spread through you at his affectionate gestures.
Seungcheol’s kisses continued, each one a tender promise of his feelings. He moved to your other cheek, then your nose, then your chin, covering your face with a constellation of soft, loving kisses. You couldn’t help but giggle at the sensation, your heart swelling with affection for the man beside you.
"Seungcheol," you murmured, your fingers threading through his hair as he nuzzled against your neck, his breath warm against your skin.
"Hmm?" he hummed, his lips moving to your jawline.
"This is nice," you said, your voice soft. "I could get used to waking up like this."
He pulled back slightly, his eyes meeting yours with a tenderness that made your breath catch. "So could I," he replied, his hand cupping your cheek as he leaned in to kiss you softly on the lips.
Just as you were losing yourself in the sweetness of the moment, a familiar sound interrupted the tranquility. The door creaked open, and you felt a rush of fur and energy as Kkuma, Seungcheol’s dog, bounded into the room.
"Kkuma!" Seungcheol exclaimed with a laugh, sitting up as the dog jumped onto the bed, tail wagging furiously.
Kkuma wasted no time, planting herself between the two of you and showering Seungcheol with enthusiastic licks. You couldn’t help but laugh at the sight, the dog’s antics bringing a lightness to the room.
"Kkuma, stop," Seungcheol said, though his laughter belied any real annoyance. He scratched behind the dog’s ears, giving her the attention she so eagerly sought. "You’re interrupting a very important moment, you know."
You smiled, reaching out to pet Kkuma as well. "I think she’s just making sure we’re both awake," you said, your heart full as you watched the playful interaction between Seungcheol and his beloved pet.
Kkuma’s presence had an undeniable way of lightening the mood, her joyful energy infectious. She turned her attention to you, her eyes bright with curiosity. You scratched her behind the ears, earning a contented sigh as she settled down between you and Seungcheol.
The three of you lay there for a while, enjoying the peaceful morning. 
"Y/N," Seungcheol said softly, his hand finding yours under the covers. "About last night..."
You turned to him, your heart skipping a beat at the seriousness in his tone. "Yes?"
"I meant everything I said," he continued, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand. "I want to be with you. For real. No more pretending, no more keeping things casual."
You felt a lump form in your throat, the sincerity in his eyes nearly overwhelming. "I want that too, Seungcheol," you whispered, squeezing his hand. "I want to be with you."
He smiled, a look of pure relief and happiness washing over his face. "Then let’s do it," he said, leaning in to kiss you again, this time with a gentle, lingering sweetness that left no doubt about his feelings.
Kkuma, not to be left out, nudged her way between you once more, her tail thumping against the bed as she demanded attention. You both laughed, the moment made all the more perfect by her playful interruption.
As the morning sun continued to rise, you and Seungcheol talked about your future, about the possibilities that lay ahead. There was a sense of hope and excitement, a feeling that together, you could face whatever came your way.
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eternalxvenus · 2 months
Text
ˏˋ°• jealousy, jealousy *⁀➷
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summary: You and Sarah have been seeing each other in secret for a while. When she catches you flirting with Rafe, she gets a little jealous.
cw: smut 18+, sarah cameron x f!reader, fingering, oral, scissoring, light nipple play, some fluff towards the end, JJ is a pain in the ass
wc: 1.8k
notes: based on this request from @percyswhxre !! this was my first time writing sapphic smut but i loved writing this and i really i hope you enjoy it!!!
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You were at the Chateau having a lazy day with all the Pogues and Sarah. JJ and John B sipped on beers while you all listened to Kie recall the time John B had kissed her.
"Remember how you just kept apologizing and then tried insisting I was acting weird afterward?" She laughed.
John B shook his head. "That's not entirely true! And in my defense, JJ was the one who talked me up to it."
"Okay, now that is true... but I thought she was into you, man don't blame me," JJ chuckled, throwing his hands up in surrender.
The rest of you rolled your eyes and laughed at their banter. Pope and Cleo sat closely next to each other, and you sat next to Sarah with your legs draped over hers.
"Okay, realistically, who'd make the cutest couple in the group?" Pope asked everyone as the laughter died down. Almost instantaneously, everyone's eyes looked over to you and Sarah.
The fire in the middle of your somewhat circle felt like it moved directly in front of your face. You and Sarah had been seeing each other, but haven't told anyone else. It's not that you were ashamed, but you just weren't sure how everyone would take it. After all, she was John B's ex, even though they broke up mutually and on good terms.
Sarah laughed before giving you a quick glance. "Why are you guys looking at us? Personally, I think we all know the real lovebirds are Pope and Cleo. Look how cuddled up they are. No love club my ass."
Cleo shook her head, denying loudly. "No no no, don't try and put everyone's attention on us. You two have been all close and cuddly for a while."
The fire crackled lowly as everyone waited for your rebuttal. You shook your head with a sigh. "You guys are crazy."
JJ jumped in, pointing at you both with skeptical eyes. "We may be crazy, but you guys are hooking up, no doubt about it." 
You gasped, throwing a stick from the ground at JJ. "You're fucking drunk JJ." Sarah nodded in agreement, laughing. Her phone buzzed, and once she checked it, a smile formed on her face. "Come on guys, we're gonna go crash a Kook party."
⭑*•̩̩͙⊱✩•̩̩͙⊰•*⭑
The Twinkie finally pulled up in front of Tannyhill, and the music could be heard from a block away. Out the window, you could see the many bodies holding drinks, talking, dancing, and everything else Kooks did.
Upon entering, you guys got some sideways looks, but no one could say anything since it was Sarah's house. Everyone grabbed a drink and chilled outside. Topper came over and tried talking to Sarah, but she quickly brushed him off.
As you sat back, sipping your drink and people-watching, JJ leaned over and whispered, "I stand by my earlier statement. You know you could tell me." Referring to you and Sarah hooking up. You rolled your eyes and pushed him away, not wanting to deal with his pestering attitude.
A few minutes later, you stood up, announcing you were grabbing another drink. The inside of the estate was loud and humid. Rap music was blasting, and sweaty bodies were all around, drinking and dancing. After grabbing a Mai Tai out of the cooler, you see Rafe across the room talking to a few of his friends. Pushing the bodies out of the way, you made your way to him, smiling once he looked your way. "Hey Rafe, how are you?"
Rafe licked his lips and took in your body with a smile. It was known that he found you attractive, trying to flirt and make passes that you always ignored. "Hey pretty girl, I didn't know you were here. What can I do for you?"
⭑*•̩̩͙⊱✩•̩̩͙⊰•*⭑
Sarah tried to look into the house from her seat, wondering what was taking you so long. She went in after you to make sure there wasn't any trouble being started. When she walked in, she immediately saw you talking to Rafe. She watched as you placed your hand on his bicep and kissed his cheek before walking away.
There was a tense look on her face as you got closer to the door. You saw her by the door with her arms crossed. "Hey baby," you giggled, placing a hand on her hip.
She moved back, making your hand fall. "Don't 'Hey baby' me. You were flirting with my brother. You kissed him on the cheek!"
You tried to hide your smile but failed. "Aw, are you jealous?" Sarah scoffed. "Don't be mad! I was flirting just a little bit. For... this." You pulled a baggie out of your pocket that had weed in it. "I just wanted free weed."
She looked at the bag and rolled her eyes. "Fine. Next time you're gonna flirt with my brother for free weed, get enough for both of us. Plus you know he wants you," she stated rather than asked. You nodded, hands finding their way back to her hips, squeezing softly. "Yeah, but I don't want him. I want you." 
Sarah stared at your lips, which had formed into a cute pout before she grabbed your wrist and dragged you upstairs into her old room. She closed and locked the door, immediately pushing you onto the bed. Her lips crashed onto yours, and she kissed you hard. The feeling of her soft lips made you moan as your hands slid down to grip her ass through her shorts.
The blaring music from downstairs seemed to fade away as she moved down to your neck, biting and sucking. You brought your hands to the front of her shorts to get them off, and she did the same for you. Next to go were shirts and bras, leaving both of you in your underwear. You sat up, taking her nipple into your mouth and massaging her other breast. The softness of your hands elicited a quiet moan from Sarah's lips.
One of her hands cradles the back of your head while the other slides down to rub your covered clit. "You're already so wet and we've just started baby." Looking up to meet her eyes, you smile. "What can I say? Seeing you all jealous was hot as fuck."
Both of you removed your final piece of clothing then Sarah pushed you down once again, getting on top of you in the 69 position. "I'll never get tired of seeing your pussy so wet and ready for me." she groaned, not wasting any time and sucking your clit into her mouth. You moaned loudly, copying her movements with your tongue.
Sarah's hips stuttered as you slipped a finger into her hole that was begging for attention. She started rubbing your clit as she felt her orgasm approaching. "Fuuuuck– baby don't stop!"
You sucked harder and moved your fingers faster as she started to fuck herself on your fingers for more stimulation. A gush of wetness spilled onto your mouth and chin as she came, her whimpers filling your ears.
"I wanna see your pretty face when you cum," she breathed out as she maneuvered her body so that she was scissoring you. You squeezed her thigh as she rocked back and forth at a speed that made your eyes roll into the back of your head. "Ohmygod– Sarah right there, right fucking there!" 
The messy wet sound of your cunts sliding against each other was making your head spin. You pulled Sarah down to place a messy kiss on her lips, wanting her closer than what seemed possible. Her perfectly manicured hand found its way to your sensitive nipples, pinching them with a knowing smile.
The tight knot of pleasure in your stomach was getting tighter and tighter, you knew you wouldn't last much longer. "I'm so close... please, I wanna come with you," you whimpered out. Sarah nodded, and the rhythm of her hips became erratic and sloppy. "You ready baby?" she groaned, and the look in your eye said it all.
Your orgasm took over your entire body, and you almost screamed, leaving your pussy slicked and spasming while Sarah tried to keep her hips moving as her orgasm hit her too. "Oh fuck– God, I love you!" Sarah moaned out, not realizing what she'd said.
She moved to lay next to you while you both caught your breath. When your eyes finally opened, and you looked over at her, you could see the blush on her cheeks.
"You love me?" you asked softly, not sure if it was something she said in the heat of the moment or if she really meant it.
Her head turned to you, and she had a sheepish smile on her face. "Of course I do... you make it hard not to." 
You didn't try to hide the grin on your face as you leaned over and kissed her deeply. "You make it hard not to love you too."
The moment was broken when you heard your phone buzzing somewhere on the ground. When you found it you saw several missed calls and texts from the Pogues. They were all along the lines of 'Where are you?', 'We're about to leave.', and 'Is Sarah with you?'.
After rushing to get dressed and make your way downstairs, you hoped they didn't leave yet, or you and Sarah would be stuck with no ride. They weren't outside where you all originally sat. Walking to the front of Tannyhill, you saw the Twinkie parked in its spot with the doors open as everyone sat around waiting.
Kie saw you guys first. "Fucking finally! Where the hell were you guys? We've been calling and texting you both."
JJ chimed in, saying "I can't tell you where they were, but I bet I know what they were doing." Sarah flipped him off as she climbed inside the car.
"Topper and John B fought. Again." Kie said with an accusatory tone. John B shrugged. "He was being a dick."
You sighed at what seemed to be their never-ending rivalry. After a few minutes of silence, JJ tapped your knee. "So... where did you guys sneak off to?" he questioned, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Give it a rest JJ." You groaned.
He threw his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, fine! I'm just asking 'cause..." he looked at you with a smirk. "I'm pretty sure those are Sarah's shorts. And the hickey forming on your neck is a little distracting."
You felt your cheeks burn as you gasped, looking down at what were definitely Sarah's shorts. Everyone in the car— including you and Sarah— burst out in laughter. You flip JJ off in the middle of it as Sarah leaned in closer and kissed you lovingly on the cheek.
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jjongslutz · 6 months
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심재윤 & 이희승 JAKE FEAT. HEESEUNG 💋 IMAGINE ME [ MDNI. ]
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IN WHICH you spend your nights sexting an ai bot of your favourite idol, not knowing that there's an actual person behind the bot
WARNINGS ⨯ sexting, mutual masturbation, dirty talking, heeseung’s highkey a perv but we don’t go too much into that, use of pet names (baby, good girl), no plot except for some introduction stuff
WORD COUNT ⨯ 1.7k
AUTHOR’S NOTE . . . oh i had too much fun writing this one despite having writer's block lowkey LMAO
taglist: @choinabisblog @ineedsomezzz @namdeyuoi bold can be tagged
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They put up a new poster by the bus stop, you notice as you walk into it. Your eyes widen when you get a better look at it.
It's Jake.
His skin glistens. He's advertising some skin care product, and they did wonders by adding a cute shade of blush on his cheeks. Jake smiles sweetly in the picture, holding up the bottle to the camera for everyone to know what he uses to look that good.
False advertising. He was born looking like that.
Still, you sit down with a smile creeping upon your lips underneath your scarf. Despite the cold weather, your insides are warm at the sight of your idol.
“Y/N?” a voice sounds from behind you.
When you turn, you find a familiar face with a bright smile at your recognition. His features are remarkable even under his thick beanie and large coat which do the opposite of complement his sweatpants. You return a polite smile. “Heeseung,” you say.
“No classes today?” he asks.
You shake your head. “They got cut off early, luckily.”
Heeseung tells you they did the same for him. You don’t respond, but nod at the mutual coincidence, looking down to check how far the bus is.
It’s not as if you have something against Heeseung, you’ve been good friends since your first year. However, you have other things in mind than your conversation.
“Are you busy tonight?”
“Sorry?”
Heeseung chuckles shyly. “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out, or…” He drifts off, but his eyes stay on your figure. “If you have plans, it’s okay.” His voice doesn’t falter, keeping a friendly tone as he wears a sweet smile.
“I’m sorry, I’m pretty busy—”
He shakes his head gently. “Don’t worry about it. Another time?”
You agree, and that’s the end of it because your bus pulls up and you’re bidding him farewell. As you make your way to the sidewalk, you don't catch him taking his phone out with a sly smile — What does it concern you, anyway?
The bus ride couldn't be slower. Your leg bounces in your seat in pattern with the bus' movements below, avoiding squeezing your thighs together. As much as you crave sweet relief, you hold yourself together and wait.
You're patient. You promised.
“Hyunjin?” you call out after opening the door to your shared apartment. You wait a moment before trying again, “Are you there?”
To your satisfaction, her response doesn’t come. Just in case, you peak through her half-open door and check for an empty bed. Check. Her class would’ve cut short earlier than yours, meaning that it wasn’t cut at all if she’s not here. She’ll be out until midnight, if not only coming home tomorrow if she crashes at her girlfriend’s place again.
A smile creeps up on your lips as you make your way to your bedroom.
You’re quick to shower and get changed in more comfortable clothes, turning on the mood lamp instead of the big, bright light. Shutting the door, you opt for extra safety measures in case your roommate comes back home early for whatever reason.
Then, just as you’re settling yourself into your bed, your phone buzzes from beside you.
JAKE: Y/N? Are you there?
Your smile returns as you begin to type.
ME: hi, jake
JAKE: I missed you
ME: me too...
You found the app not long ago. It's said to be more realistic than any other AI program. Their bots respond and act like there's an actual human behind another screen, answering your texts. You cheesed at the ad you'd gotten for it, but quickly became obsessed.
After getting over a breakup, you never would've guessed the best way to heal was through chatting with Jake every night. Soon enough, it became more than just talking with a computer; It feels like you really made a new friend.
Or, maybe something more than that.
JAKE: Are you alone?
You flush at the message.
ME: yes...
JAKE: Good. You're in your bedroom?
ME: yes
JAKE: What are you wearing?
An oversized shirt for appearance, a personal preference. No pants to cover your black lace panties, which match the lace bra you wear underneath the gray material on your torso.
You don't write out your message, opting to send him a picture.
JAKE: Fuck. You're beautiful
ME: and you?
JAKE: Anything for you baby
Woah. Your heart stutters at the AI-generated image it sends you next. It looks like him. Like, really looks like him. Aside from his face conveniently not in shot.
He lifts his shirt slightly in the picture, revealing toned abs leading to a V-line which ends at a pair of familiar sweatpants. Your eyes certainly don't miss the bulge underneath the pants.
The image in front of you makes your mind go wild. It's so much easier to imagine him sitting right in front of you, looking at you with hungry eyes.
"What're you thinking of, Y/N?"
Your eyes widen at the sudden appearance of Jake, sitting right at the edge of your bed wearing a loosely (barely)buttoned shirt and grey sweatpants, adorned with an erection stealing your gaze.
"You," you blurt out.
He chuckles. "I'm thinking about you, too." His voice is velvety, thick with his accent which has your breath stuttering.
His hand travels to his crotch. Keeping his eyes fixed on yours, Jake bites his lip as he tests the waters by slowly rolling his hand over his clothed cock.
Fixated on his movements, you barely notice your own hand inching down to your core, rubbing slow circles at the same pace.
"Fuck, baby," he sighs. "Touching yourself to me? Such a nasty girl for me." His words hold no bark, though, as he shifts in his seat to lean against the wall. He lifts his hips to pull down his sweatpants, revealing his white boxers stained with a wet patch where his hardened dick sticks against.
Jake strokes himself through the thin material, hooded eyes staring back you as he wears a lazy smirk.
You hum and follow him, pulling off your shirt to be left in only your lace underwear.
"You're so beautiful, baby."
You blush at his words, keeping your hand on your dampening panties, rolling your fingers up and down rhythmically.
Naturally, you throw your head back with closed eyes as your pace quickens in time with Jake's. You hum at the sensation, wishing you were trapped between his legs, forced to handle the torture of his fast fingers on your cunt.
Instead, you peel your eyes open to watch Jake finally take out his cock impatiently.
He strokes himself slowly at first, as if to show off his size — You gulp at the sight. He's long and veiny, but has girth that would have your walls clenching tightly around him. You're not sure if you want him in your mouth, or let him pound into your pussy. Either way has you licking your lips and inching your panties down your thighs.
"Fuck, I wish I could touch you right now," Jake huffs as his hands glide quickly over his dripping cock.
"'M yeah?" you challenge. "What would you, shit, what would you do to me?"
Jake smirks through pants. "I'd finger you," he starts. "Fill your pussy with my fingers until you're begging for my cock. And—fuck—I'd let you take me down your throat."
You close your eyes to imagine the sight, pleasure bubbling in your stomach at the sound of Jake's whimpers.
Dipping your fingers into your pussy, you pretend Jake's really with you, slowly inching his cock into you. "'So good," you moan.
"Match my pace," Jake says in a rush, waiting for you to meet eyes.
The two of you hold eye contact as he strokes in a rhythmic, fast pattern, while you shove three fingers into your cunt at the same pace. As his hand reaches the tip of his cock, your fingers inch away from your hole. He fucks up into his hand and your fingers are already knuckles deep.
"Shit, fuck, you're so—you feel so good, fuck!"
Jake lifts his hips to match his hand's movements, sloppily thrusting up into his own touch. His words are nonsense, but have your head spinning as you grind down on your hand, reaching down with your other to draw circles on your clit, too.
"I'm so close."
"Me too," you tell him.
Soon enough, the room is filled with your pleasured moans echoing off the walls. You stay still, your fingers still deep in your cunt as you settle down from your high.
Your breath pumps rapidly, only to falter in pattern when you let go a deep sigh at the empty space at the foot of your bed.
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When you told him you'd be busy tonight, Heeseung knew what you meant without you needing to tell him. Not that you would ever admit it. He smirked at your innocent front, knowing how dirty you are deep down.
His chest rises and falls rhythmically, trying to catch his breath. He looks down at his sticky hand, his slowly softening cock he just let slip out of his grip.
His phone dings. You sent another message.
Y/N: i came...
Heeseung smiles, satisfied.
JAKE: good girl
You don't respond, and Heeseung can put together that you're probably cleaning yourself up from the mess you've made. God, he wishes he could see you.
Unable to stop himself, Heeseung exits out of the app and finds your contact. He frantically presses the call button and waits through the three rings before you pick up. You sound surprised when you respond, your voice hinting at feeling caught in the act.
"Can I come over?" Heeseung finally asks.
"Uh, sure, yeah—" Commotion from the other end of the line sounds. "Just, uh, it'll be a little messy when you come, so don't judge."
He chuckles under his breath. "Don't worry, baby."
Your gasp tells him all he needs to know.
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starsinthesky5 · 28 days
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the alchemy || joe burrow x reader
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description: why fight a feeling that is so strong? sometimes things are meant to be and you should let things fall into place. the transformation of something dull and broken into gold is hard to ignore, and you shouldn’t ignore it :)
a/n: another request! i love this song soo much so i hope you all enjoy! for the purposes of this fic, this takes place after their first superbowl appearance and after joe sprains his mcl. 
also another flashback heavy fic because of the song 🤍
warnings: language, angst, allusions to sex
word count: 10k (dang she’s a long one) 
————————————————————
Have you ever experienced something that happens once every few lifetimes? When those chemicals just hit you like white wine and make you drunk on the feeling. The feeling you get when you’re with the right person, that unbreakable connection, that intense and passionate love? That’s what you feel with Joe. Anyone in your position would hang onto that for as long as they could, and never let go. And you were, but something scared you and caused you to pull away. 
Flashback to a few weeks ago 
You and Joe were lying on the couch, wrapped up in each other’s arms, and watching a movie. You were wearing one of his hoodies and leaning against his chest. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder and your head was tucked under it. You guys were having some downtime together and were trying to squeeze in as much as you could before the football season started in a few weeks.
You looked up at him and saw the content look on his face, and it was all because of you. He looked comfortable for the first time in a long time. A lot was riding on this season, and Joe was a little overwhelmed with everything going on, but you were there to help him every step of the way. 
“How ya feeling?” You asked your boyfriend.
He looked down at you and smiled, “I feel amazing. A lot better than I have these past few months,”.
You looked into his compelling eyes and could tell he was being truthful. He’d been struggling these past few months with his knee sprain, going to the Superbowl and losing, plus trying to get back to where he was before while trying to block out the outside noise. It had been a rough off-season for him, but one of the highlights had been meeting you early on. 
You and Joe had met right after the Super Bowl through mutual friends. When you first met, there was an instant connection, emotionally and physically. It was like pure electricity and heat between you two, something you hadn’t experienced in a while. No matter how hard you tried to deny it and run from it, you couldn’t. 
“That’s really great, Joe. I’m so proud of you for pushing through,” you grinned. 
“I owe it to you. You really helped me pull through all this these past few months. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said, his hand moving to your cheek.
“Joe,” you said while placing your hand on top of his, wanting to tell him that he got to where he is right now because of his own hard work and dedication. You were just a silent observer to his greatness. 
“You’ve done so much for me. These past few months have been a dream. Getting to spend all this time with you has literally been the biggest blessing and a huge reminder that things don’t always have to be so complicated,” he says before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your soft pink lips. 
Your relationship with Joe felt pretty easy and relaxed, which was different for you since your previous relationships felt the complete opposite. You were his sanctuary and he was your light at the end of the dark tunnel. 
You lean into the kiss for a few seconds before he pulls away. He searches your eyes for a few moments, “I love you,” he says against your lips. It felt like the word stopped and you got punched in the gut when he said those three words. You hadn’t heard those three words in a very long time, and the last person who said those words to you absolutely destroyed you. You had had a few relationships throughout your life, each one worse than the other and it crushed you every time it ended. Your first serious relationship ended because the guy fell out of love. Your next relationship ended because the guy had feelings for someone else. And your last relationship, your longest, ended because he cheated on you multiple times and tried to make it seem like it was your fault, and that was the final blow. He used those three words against you every time, and now those three words came out of Joe’s mouth. 
He noticed your startled facial expression and immediately pulled back. “Are you okay?” He asked.
You were frozen. You didn’t know what to say or how to respond to him. It’s not that you didn’t love him, it’s just you were scared that it would happen to you again, and you wouldn’t be able to make it to the other side this time. You fell hard and fast for Joe, meaning if anything happened, it would shatter you beyond the point of return. 
“I’m fine,” you lie while moving out of his arms. 
“No, you’re not, I can see it. I just screwed things up didn’t I?” He said as he grabbed your hand. His face sported a worried and nervous look.
“No no no, you didn’t. I did,” you say, your heart racing and your face burning. “I can’t say it back,” you whisper as tears fill your eyes. 
Joe stayed silent for a few moments as he collected his thoughts. He loved you so much and knew why you couldn’t say it back. It broke his heart that you were scared to say it back. He knew you cared for him and your relationship was going amazingly, but he still tried to do everything he could to make you forget about the others before him. He was trying to undo the damage they had done. 
“Y/N-”,
“You deserve to have those three words said to you and I just can’t say it back. You are the most lovable, caring, and thoughtful human I have ever met, and I can’t even say it back?” You say as hot tears slide down your cheeks, feeling absolutely shitty that you were putting him in this position. 
“Y/N, listen to me”, he says as he grabs your hands to calm you down. “I don’t care if you can’t say it back right now. I know it’s not easy for you,”.
“But you should care,”.
“But I don’t. I know why you can’t and it’s okay. If you need time, I’m here. I can wait. I will wait,” he soothes. 
Your heart broke at the situation. You felt horrible for not being able to say those 3 words to him even though you felt those feelings towards him. He was willing to wait for you, but was he really? Joe could have anyone he wanted, so would he wait for you to make up your mind when he could just move to the next girl? You needed a minute to get yourself together, he didn’t deserve this, especially right before the start of the season. 
“I- I just need a minute. I’m so sorry. I’ll text you, but I just need a minute from this,” you said as you got off the couch, collecting your things so you could leave. 
Joe gets up, the look on his face makes you want to cry even harder. He lets out a sigh, “That’s okay, I understand. When you’re ready, I’m here,” he says. 
You give him a little smile as you pull him in for a hug before walking to the door and leaving his house. 
End of flashback 
The sounds of football reporters from the TV snapped you back to the present. It was currently Game Day, week 1 to be specific, and you were watching from your couch in your apartment. You should be watching from the Burrow Suite, just like how you and Joe talked about all off-season, but you weren’t, and it broke your heart.
It had been a few weeks since you had seen him, you were constantly replaying the horrible conversation in your head and feeling worse each time. He had texted you a few times to check in, but that was about it. You asked for space and he was giving it to you and you didn’t want to cause any more distress to him, especially since week 1 was right around the corner. You didn’t know how he was feeling, what he was doing, or who he was with. It was driving you insane, but you didn’t need to be filling his space with your mess right now. 
You watched the TV carefully as the camera moved back down onto the field, and closer to Joe. He was sitting on the bench in his pre-game gear, seemingly lost in thought as he stared off into space. He turned around and looked up for a few seconds, and that sight alone made your eyes well with tears again. 
You knew exactly what he was looking at and who he was looking for. You. He was looking for you in the suite. And here you were, sitting on the couch, alone, while you were supposed to be cheering him on in person. You wiped your eyes and took a few deep breaths. You didn’t want to distract him with your drama, so you understood that this needed to happen. He had to be laser-focused and you were being a distraction. 
And he was laser-focused. The Bengals won their first game of the season, 35-17, and Joe absolutely killed it. He didn’t miss a beat and the team was on fire from start to finish. The big smile on his face in his on-field interview calms you down and his post-game presser reassures you that he is doing good, at least for right now. 
A few hours later, you were lost in your thoughts. You were pondering whether or not you should send him a text about how great he did in the game. Was it stupid to text him? Did he even care? What if another girl was with him right now doing what you would be doing with him after his game? 
“Fuck it,” you mumbled while typing up a little message. 
Hey! Watched the game today and you killed it!!! Didn’t miss a single beat, so proud of you! 
Remember to elevate your leg with a cushion in case your knee feels a bit off. And also ice it, I think the ice wrap is in the freezer :))
You knew that his knee would probably be a little sore after today's game just like it would be after practice. You had discovered that throughout the off-season after he’d come over to your place after practice every day. You would be the one to help soothe any discomfort he had but since you weren’t there, you had to remind him. 
Flashback to June 
You were finishing up a project for work until you heard a soft knock on your apartment door. You looked over to the clock which read 3:30, meaning it was probably Joe since he would come over after practice wrapped up for the day. He would usually come over every Wednesday and Friday and sometimes stay the night or end up going back to his house pretty late. When he first started to do this, you asked him if it was too tiring for him since you figured he’d be able to fully unwind and decompress more in the comfort of his own home. But he told you that being with you was his way of relaxing and decompressing. 
You hopped off of the barstool and turned off the stove before walking over to the door to let him in. You made some spicy chicken and rice, seasoning everything just as he liked it. 
You opened the door and Joe immediately leaped onto you, pulling you in for an intimate hug. 
“Hello to you too,” you giggle as you wrap your arms around his large frame. 
He lets out a laugh as you lead him back into your apartment, still hugging each other. He uses his foot to kick the door shut and pulls you in closer. 
“You’re extra clingy today,” you laugh as you rub his back.
“Mmm, I missed you,” he mumbled against your head, pressing a delicate kiss onto your hair. 
“Me too,” you said as you stood on your toes so you could press a kiss to his cheek. You pulled away from each other after a few more moments of being in each other’s arms and Joe’s nose wiggled as a smirk appeared on his face. 
“You made my favorite,” he said, immediately recognizing the mouthwatering aroma. 
“That I did,” you giggled. “Here, come sit on the couch. You’re probably sore and exhausted,”.
“Ooo, do I get treatment from my sexy nurse today?” He teased as he walked over and collapsed on the couch. 
“If sweatpants and an old ass tank top from high school are sexy, then yes,” You grin while moving the cushions to help him elevate his knee. 
He stares at you while you help him get cozy, “You don’t have to do all this,”.
“Since you demand to come over after practice, the least I can do is help you get comfy. Don’t want your knee to act up because you didn’t take care of yourself just because you were with me,” you say while moving his leg over to the cushions. 
“Does it feel weird?” You look up and ask. 
He lets out a sigh, “Yeah, a little,”.
“I’ll grab the ice wrap,” you say as you walk over to the freezer.
“Yes, Ms. Nurse,” he salutes before grabbing the TV remote to turn on an episode of The Office.
“Really funny, Joe,” you say. 
A few minutes later, you wrap his knee in the ice wrap and curl up next to him on your couch, your head tucked under his strong arm and his hand sliding up and down your arm. You were playing with the strings of his hoodie and asked, “How was practice?”.
“It was good. I’m feeling and moving a lot better and the knee isn’t so bad. The soreness and weirdness will probably linger for a little bit so I’ll just have to put up with it,”.
“Good thing we got a routine down for taking care of it,” you smile.
“All thanks to you,” he says as he shakes your shoulder. 
“You give me too much credit,”.
“Mmm no I don’t. You know exactly what works and what doesn’t work. But I think the biggest remedy is you. You make my life and evenings after practice so much more relaxing. Best medicine and treatment by far,” he says as he looks down into your eyes.
You stare into his baby blues for a few moments before leaning in and capturing his lips in a tender kiss. 
“You’re too much, Burrow,” you laugh as you pull away. 
“But you can handle me so I can’t be thaaat much,” he smirks.
“What’s with the smirk,” you giggle.
“It’s just that you can handle me in more ways than one,” he says as he moves you into his lap, straddling his hips and chest pressed against his warm skin. 
“Dirty, Dirty Mind,” you say as you shake your head. “But you are right, I can handle you in every way possible. Never too much,” you say as you lean back in for another kiss. 
End of flashback 
You let out a deep breath and quickly turned your phone off so you would stop thinking about it. He probably wouldn’t even answer until tomorrow so why bother thinking about it? You got up off the couch and walked into your kitchen to heat up some leftover pasta and heard a chime come from the living room. You whipped your head around and saw your phone light up. Your eyes widened and you ran back over to the couch to check what it was.  
Thank You! And thanks for the reminder. I already have the knee wrapped and my leg elevated. I’m glad you decided to watch. I was hoping you’d make it to the game but I get it  
Your shoulders dropped at his text. He wanted you there and you let him down. You didn’t know how to respond to him because you didn’t want to make it worse, so you just decided to send a white heart emoji and turn your phone off. 
You moved back onto the couch and fell back into the pillows. A loud exhale escapes your mouth, “What is wrong with me,” you say to yourself.
A few weeks later 
It had been a few weeks since the first game of the season. It was currently week 6 and you still hadn’t seen Joe or really talked to him. The Bengals were 2-3 and you knew that was killing Joe and you wanted nothing more than to reassure him that it was going to get better. Like clockwork, the analysts began their ‘is Burrow really as good as people think he is?’ agenda just because he had a few bad games. 
To help take your mind off of things, Jess had invited you out for lunch so you were getting ready for that. You were putting on your last bit of jewelry when one of your necklaces on your stand caught your eye. It was the infinity necklace Joe had gifted you for your birthday a few months ago. 
Flashback to your birthday (August)
“And here is the last birthday gift,” Joe says as he places a tiny box in your lap. 
“Are you sure it’s the last one?” You giggle. 
He raises his brow and gives you a look that immediately shuts you up. He had surprised you with quite a few gifts today and many of them were very expensive looking. Each time you told him you didn’t need or want anything, but he clearly had a different idea. 
“Okay, Okay,” you retreat, causing him to let out a laugh. 
His arm wraps around your shoulder as you open the box. Inside the box was a beautiful diamond infinity necklace. Your eyes widen and your mouth falls open, “Joe, this is so beautiful,” you say as you examine the gorgeous diamonds.
“Only the best for my girl,” he smiles as he squeezes your shoulder. 
“You didn’t have to do all this. This must’ve been so expensive,”.
“So what? It’s your birthday and I think this infinity symbol really resonates with how I feel about you,” he says as he picks up the necklace out of the box. “Here, turn around so I can put it on,”. 
You turn around and move your hair out of the way. The smile on your face says enough about your emotions. Butterflies filled your belly and your heart was overflowing with adoration. He was so good to you and always made sure you felt valued by him, and he would do anything to show you and seemingly wanted to show you that forever. Infinity. He wanted to be with you for infinity. 
End of flashback 
You stared at the necklace for a few moments. You hadn’t worn it since the day you freaked out on Joe but you looked at it every day. A silent reminder that he does value you and he does care, but moreover, he adores you. But you couldn’t understand why you couldn’t show him the same love he gave you. 
You grabbed the necklace, not overthinking it, and put it around your neck. You then grabbed your stuff and left your apartment so you wouldn’t have time to reconsider wearing it. 
A few hours later 
“So she told me she couldn’t go because she spilled Juice all over her dress but I think it was because she didn’t want to be around Becca since she started dating her exes best friend,” Jess says as she takes a sip of her lemonade.
“Man, your college friends are really something,” you laugh as you take a bite of your salad. 
“Tell me about it,” she smiles.
“So, what’s going on with you and Joe?” She asks straight up. “I see that you’re wearing the necklace,” she points out. 
Your smile drops a bit as you take a deep breath. You knew you’d have to talk about it at some point and you really needed to talk about it to someone who you could confide in. Jess was the perfect person. You and her immediately clicked when you first met at a team dinner back in the off-season and have been great friends ever since. 
“I don’t know. He told me he loved me and I couldn’t say it back,” you frowned. “And as for the necklace, I don’t really know why I put it on today,”. 
“Oh, Y/N,” she says as she reaches for your hand. 
“I want to say it back but I’m scared. Joe has the ability to rip me to shreds if things go south and I can’t go through that again. Not after what happened in my last relationship. He’s so perfect and that worries me,” you say.
“Joe isn’t like the others,” Jess says.
“I know, and that’s why I’m confused. I don’t know why I’m being like this. He hasn’t given me a single reason to be this fearful. And I honestly don’t understand why he’s putting up with this. He’s probably better off forgetting about me and moving on with some other girl,”.
“Are you crazy?” She questioned. “Joe hasn’t stopped asking me about you. Every time I see him at the game he’s always asking about you and if you’re doing alright,” she giggles.
“Really?” You say, a little shocked that he thought about you that much, especially on game day. 
“Yes, really. Y/N, he loves you. I’ve known Joe for a very long time and I’ve never seen him like this. He’s never been this in love with someone before. You’re special. You bring out the absolute best in him and he does the same for you,”. 
“And you're saying there isn’t anyone else that he’ll just go to after he gets bored with me?” You ask.
“Nope. Never was and never will be. You’re the one to beat. You stole his heart. He’s never going to get bored when he has someone special like you in his life,” she winks. 
“I think you’re just afraid of getting your heart broken again, and that’s fair. You’ve been through a lot and it can’t be easy to get into it again after going through a really tough and long relationship. But as your friend and as Joe’s friend, you owe it to him and yourself to try. He cares about you more than he cares about anyone, and that says a lot,”.
“The way Joe spent all those months in the off-season trying to win you over was unlike anything we’ve ever seen him do,”
Flashback to March 
“He’s here?” you say to Jenna, wide-eyed and slightly nervous. 
“Yeah, Dylan invited him,” She giggled. “Be prepared for another round of flirting, he is relentless,”. 
Today was your friend Jenna’s birthday dinner. You had become friends at the end of last year when your job transferred you to the Cincinnati branch, and you instantly hit it off and became close friends in a short amount of time. She introduced you to all her friends and you became a part of their big group and that also meant becoming friends with her fiancee’s friends. They were all great and super friendly, except one of them was a bit too friendly with you. It was none other than the Bengals Quarterback, Joe Burrow. He and Dylan went to OSU together and were a part of the football program there and have kept in touch ever since, so you shouldn’t have been surprised when he walked into your friend’s dinner. 
“He just never stops. Like 2 weeks ago when we all went to Dinner for Jess’s birthday, he was stuck to my side the entire time,” you said to her. 
“What did I tell you? He likes you, Y/N,” she laughed as she sipped her drink. 
“Yeah right. I know how these football players roll and I am not about to get caught up in that mess and get my heart broken all in one go,” you say as you watch him closely. Joe had taken a particular interest in you ever since you had met in February. You weren’t exactly sure why, but every time you would see him, he would end up stuck to your side the entire time. He would constantly talk to you, literally never shutting up. He would make little comments about how pretty you looked and how you were the nicest person he had ever met. You had a lot of things in common such as your music taste, your favorite movies, your small-town upbringing, and even your childlike tendencies such as playing Mario Kart & Smash Bros religiously at your grown age. Just the usual flirting but you were not buying into it. Sure, you would play into it and flirt back, but you had 0 intentions of actually starting something with him out of all people. 
Each time you saw him, each time he would try to get you to hang out with him, just the two of you. Whether it was him suggesting that you two watch a movie at his place, go out to a new restaurant, or do anything you wanted to do, you always shut him down. Partly because you had your guard up around him for various reasons, but also because you didn’t think he actually liked you. You thought he just wanted to hook up and become casual fuck buddies like a typical football player, but you had no idea that those were not his intentions at all. 
Joe really did like you and was doing anything to get you to give him a chance. He hadn’t felt this way about a girl in a very long time, and he was set on winning you over by any means necessary. You felt a little bad watching him struggle with you each time, but you were silently enjoying it. Something about having a star QB wrapped around your finger was amusing. 
“I won’t lie, it is kinda fun to watch him attempt to make a move every time we see each other,” you laugh as you continue to stare at him. Although you didn’t want any part of him, he did look absolutely sexy. You would be lying to yourself if you said he wasn’t the most attractive man you had ever seen in your life. 
“I give it a few months. You’ll be wrapped up in his arms,” Jenna says as she waves Joe over. He ends his conversation with a friend and starts walking over, a smile creeps up onto his face when he notices you sitting at the table.
You whip your head over to face her as you see him start to walk over, “What are you doing?” you say as you try not to act rude. 
“You’ll thank me for this in a few months,” she winks as she gets up from her chair, greeting Joe, and then walking over to Dylan, Sam, and Jess. 
You took a few deep breaths as you watched him sit down right next to you. “Here we go again,” you thought to yourself.
“Hey, Y/N,” he says, flashing his gorgeous smile to you. 
“Hi, Joe,” you smile back. 
“You look really pretty tonight,” he says as he takes a sip of his drink.
“Thank you,” you say back, hardly putting any effort into the conversation. 
You both find yourself in some awkward silence for a few moments before Joe speaks up once again. “Soo, What have you been up to?”.
“Oh, nothing much. Just the usual,” you say as you play with the rings on your fingers. 
“Cool, Cool,” he nods, the smile on his face slowly fading away. 
“So Um, have you given my dinner offer any thought since the last time we saw each other?” he asked, referring to when he asked you if you wanted to get dinner with him at this new sushi place downtown that he had been dying to go to. 
“Yeah,” you sigh. “Sorry, but I’m swamped with work for a while, don’t think I’ll have any time,” you lied, fully expecting him to keep pushing you for it like he usually does. It kinda was like a game of cat and mouse. You kept running away and he kept chasing, never being able to catch you, but also never giving up. 
He stays quiet for a few seconds as you watch his head drop and the grip on his drink tighten. He would normally start the playful banter by now but he hadn’t, which was odd. 
“See, I just don’t get it,” he said, looking back up at you, his usually joy-filled eyes now empty. 
“Get what?” you ask him, sitting up in your seat.
“You. I don’t get you. Ever since we met, you’ve been giving me mixed signals. I thought we had something going on here since you were very clearly flirting back, but every fucking time I try to move to the next step, you dodge me like the plague. I don’t get it. Did I do something wrong?” he said. 
“Joe, I-” you said, not knowing what to say to him. You felt horrible but he was right. You were sending him mixed signals but you thought he was having fun as well. Truth was, you weren’t dodging him, deep down you knew he was a good person and you actually enjoyed his company, you were just dodging the idea of dating and being in a relationship again. You just struggled with the idea of opening up to a person like that again, especially since the last time you did, it was used against you. And you were taking it out on Joe. 
“What? Literally, what could you possibly have to say?” he asks, his face turning a little red but his voice remaining leveled. Even though he was upset, he made sure not to raise his voice.  
You felt like throwing up in the moment because you felt awful for making him feel like this. The silence in between was enough of a response for him to get up. “Yeah, I figured. I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry if something about me makes you want to run in the opposite direction,” he says as he turns around and walks back over to your friends who had just watched all this unfold. 
You just sat there in silence, feeling shitty for making him feel like he was the problem when in reality, it was you. You got up and walked to the bathroom, trying to escape the now awkward ambiance and also compose yourself. 
“What was that about?” Jess asked Joe when he walked over to them. 
He shook his head and took a few deep breaths before saying, “I don’t know. I thought she liked me too but every single time I try to make a move, she shuts me down,”. “I don’t know what the fuck I did,”. 
“Joe, you didn’t do anything,” Jenna said. 
“Then why is she acting like this? When we first met, everything was going well. We had good conversations, she could be around me without looking like she had to throw up, and now? Now she won’t even hold a conversation with me,” he said. 
“It’s because she’s scared of getting her heart broken again. All her exes were absolute assholes, each one worse than the other. Her last one really did a number on her but that’s not my story to tell. Just know, it was bad,” Jenna said.
“Jenna’s right. It is not your fault at all. I think deep down, she likes you too but is scared to admit it,” Jess added. “She always looks relaxed with you and seems like she always is having fun,”. 
“I just wish she would give me a chance. It feels like I hit a brick wall with her and shit is not moving,” Joe says, rubbing the back of his neck. 
“Well, don’t give up man. I know you and you definitely don’t back down from a challenge,” Dylan says, patting his back.
“Yup. She’ll come around,” Sam says. 
“You just have to show her that you really really care about her. I know her and I know that once she sees how sincere you are about this, she’ll come through,” Jenna says. 
“You didn’t hear this from me, but Y/N loves cliche romantic gestures. Specifically handwritten love letters,” Jess winks. 
“Ooo, nothing more romantic than a love letter,” Jenna says while looking over to see if you have come back from the bathroom. 
“A love letter? Do I look like Romeo,” Joe scoffs. Seriously, a love letter? Joe could barely write out a sincere birthday message for his friends and family and they expect him to write a love letter?
“Listen, if you really wanna get the girl, try one more time,” Jess encourages. 
He thinks about it for a few seconds before giving in. This had to work. If you really liked gestures like this, Joe was going to make sure it was the best damn thing that’s ever happened to you.“This better work,” He says. 
“Just don’t feel bad Joe. She just needs to see that you really want this and I think this just might do it,” Jenna says.
“Yeah, I Hope so,” Joe says as he glances over to where you were sitting, the seat now empty. “I’m gonna go get some air,” he says to your friends as he walks out to the entrance of the restaurant.
They were right. Joe never backed down from a challenge and he really wanted you. He was going to do whatever it took to win you over, even if that meant doing something he would never think to do in a million years. 
“I’ve never seen Joe like this before,” Sam says to everyone after Joe walks away.
“Tell me about it. She has him wrapped around her finger and I really hope she doesn’t pass on this,” Jess says.
“They’re perfect for each other. She just needs to see it and hopefully this will do it,” Jenna says as you walk back out to the dining room.
A few days later 
It had been a few days since Jenna’s birthday dinner. You had managed to avoid Joe the entire night but still felt guilty at the fact that you had been so terrible to him for reasons out of his control. 
You were sitting on your couch reading one of your favorite romance novels. Everything was always so perfect in the books. The girl always got the boy and everything was so romantic and beautiful. When was it going to be your turn? When would you be able to feel like the girls in the books? A knock on your door snapped you out of your thoughts, “Hm?” You questioned since you weren’t expecting anyone. 
You walked over to the door, opened it, and then were met with a large flower arrangement, no human in sight. 
“What the hell,” you said to yourself as you crouched down to pick up the beautiful flowers, which happened to be your favorite, pink roses. 
You kicked the door shut with your foot as you walked over to the kitchen island. “Who are these from?” You asked yourself. You searched the flowers for a card and found one tucked into the bottom of the pot. 
You pulled over a barstool and sat down before you opened up the envelope. A little note was folded inside. You carefully pulled the paper out and opened it up to read it. You tilted your head out of confusion. The note was handwritten and the handwriting looked a little familiar. 
Dear Y/N,
I don’t really know how to do this, but please don’t think this is cringey or corny. I think I’ve rewritten this letter like 5 times now so I'm really trying to make this work. Anyways, I feel awful for the way I handled things the other day and I know you’re probably sick of me but I just can’t ignore these feelings anymore. 
From the moment I saw you, I knew there was something special about you—something that drew me in and captivated my heart. You’re a very special girl and you deserve all the happiness in the world, and I hope that I can be a part of that. I know it’s only been a short amount of time since we’ve met but every time I see you, I’m reminded that you’re not just something I dreamed about. You’re real and you’re here. And I want to be with you. 
Your smile lights up my world and your laughter is like music to my ears. Every time you walk into a room, my heart skips a beat and I find myself completely enchanted by your presence. You are the most beautiful person I have ever known, both inside and out. 
I find myself constantly thinking about you, day and night, dreaming of the day when I can finally tell you how much you mean to me. Your kindness, your intelligence, your sense of humor - all of these things make me fall for you more and more with each passing day. 
I know that I might just be a small blip on your radar, but I couldn't let another day go by without expressing my feelings for you. I know that this is hard for you, but I really hope you’ll give me a chance to show you that I’m different, and that we can be different. 
Sending my love, 
Joe. 
You felt hot tears streaming down your cheeks and onto the countertop, as you finished reading the letter. Nobody had ever written you a love letter before even though it was something you would constantly dream about and mention indirectly to your ex-lovers. None of them got the hint that this was something you wanted. But here you were, reading a love letter from a guy who didn’t even know about your silly little dream but somehow made it come true. 
He really cared about you and he wasn’t playing around. The contents of the letter had made his feelings about you incredibly clear and opened up your eyes to what you were missing out on. He was such a sweet, kind-hearted, and gentle person and you had him right at your fingertips. And you were about to push him away for good. 
You wiped your tears as you pulled out your phone from your pocket, pulling up Joe’s contact and hitting the call button. You prayed he would pick up, and he did.
“Hello?” He said, slightly breathless as he was in the middle of working out.  
“You’re an idiot,” you laughed through the tears. 
“Y/N?” He asked. 
“Yes, it’s me,” you sniffled. He remained quiet on the other end so you took it as a chance to finally reciprocate the feelings he had for you. 
“I got your letter and flowers,” you smiled.
“Yeah?” He asked, putting his dumbbell down and sitting on the workout bench. His stomach was in knots as he was anxious about what your response would be.
“Are you free tonight? I heard that the new sushi place downtown is to die for,” you giggled as you twirled your hair.
Joe’s face immediately lit up and his heart was about to beat out of his chest. He stayed silent for a few seconds to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, and he sure as hell wasn’t.  “Yeah, I am. I’ll pick you up in an hour,” he says.
“It’s a date,” you say, biting your bottom lip, your stomach filled with butterflies and anticipation. It was finally your chance to get the boy.
After weeks of waiting and trying, Joe had finally won you over. He had finally won the trophy and ultimate prize which was you.
End of flashback 
Nobody had played the field for you like Joe had. You were pretty unlucky when it came to relationships but when you met Joe, everyone who was attempting to play the field just ended up warming the bench. He never gave anyone else a moment to try to win you over. Throughout the off-season, he was doing just about everything to win your heart and he was killing it. You were on a winning streak, up until you ruined it with your childish fears. 
“I just- I haven’t felt the way I feel with him in a long time and that scares the hell out of me. The last time I felt that way, I was so blinded by it and it got the best of me,” you replied, your stomach churning at the mention of your last relationship. 
“I understand that. But not every guy is going to take advantage of your love. Even though I’ve known you for a few months, I can see that you have so much love inside of you. I can see the love in your eyes for him. Don’t let your past get in the way of something promising and special,” she told you.
“You tell me something new he does for you and a new funny story about him literally every time I see you. You always have this radiant smile when you’re around him and this look in your eyes that most people would say only is seen in someone once every few lifetimes,” Jess adds as she points at your necklace.
“Like look at that. He basically told you it was you and him for infinity. He’s not going anywhere, trust me,” she laughs. “Don’t fight it,”. 
You take another deep breath and think about what she’s saying. She’s right. You and Joe had been together for 6 months and in those 6 months he never made you feel bad about yourself, he never made you feel neglected, and he definitely never made you feel unloved. He was different from everyone else and you loved him so much. It wasn’t his fault that the others hurt you so badly and you owed it to him to try. 
He was what you had been waiting for your entire life and now that you’d finally had it, you were so close to ruining it. He wasn’t like the others, not one bit. You loved everything about him and he loved everything about you. He showed you what real love felt like, and taught you how to love again. She was right, why should you fight it? You had struck gold with Joe. 
“I love him,” you realize, a smile creeping up your face. 
“There we go,” she says as she claps her hands together and falls back into the chair. 
“I really love him,” you repeat, wanting to scream it at the top of your lungs. 
“And I’m sure he would be incredibly happy to hear that,” she smiles. “Wait, you should come to the game on Sunday,” she 
“Are you sure? Shouldn’t I wait to talk to him until after this week's game?” You asked. 
“I have a feeling he’d be more than excited to see you at the game this week. Might give him that kick he needs to break out of whatever came over him this past 2 games,” she says. 
“Yeah, he has been a little off lately,” you frown. You didn’t know if it was because of you or his knee or something else, but something was off about him.
“If you decide to come, I’ll be waiting at the suite entrance since I know it would be your first time at a game,” 
“Maybe I’ll come around, it feels like it’s been so long since I’ve seen him,” you said. 
It was true, it had been so long since you’d seen him. And you missed him so much. You missed his little laugh, his silly jokes, his adorable smile, his beautiful eyes, his sexy morning voice, and most importantly, the warm and comforting feeling you got around him. 
“Mhm,” she replied. “You should wear his jersey too. I’m sure he’d love it,”.
Sunday — Paycor Stadium 
You walked into the stadium, taking a deep breath as you made it inside. You were wearing his jersey for the first time and were feeling a little nervous about the entire situation. You haven’t been to his game before, you haven’t even worn his jersey before, and you definitely didn’t know what the hell you were going to say to him once you saw him. You were so caught up in your head that you didn’t realize that you had walked over to the Suite entrance where Jess was waiting for you, just like she had said. 
“You made it!” She said as she pulled you in for a hug. “And your outfit looks so cute,” she adds, pointing out your jersey. You had put on the white bengal jersey, a vintage Bengals dad hat, and your favorite pair of jean shorts. And the cherry on top is your infinity necklace. 
“Yeah,” you said, a little frazzled because of the many thoughts floating through your head. 
She noticed your worried face and said, “Hey, don’t stress. It’ll be just fine, I promise,”. 
“I hope so,” you mumble. 
She turned her head around, looking to see if the hallway behind her was clear. “Joe won’t be able to come up here now, but that hallway leads straight to the tunnel and locker room entrance,” she says, fully implying that you should go down there and see him. 
A smile creeps up your face and you start playing with the infinity necklace around your neck. “Go get your boy,” she teases. 
She was right, time to stop being afraid. He was yours and you were his, there was no use fighting the alchemy. What’s meant to be, is meant to be, and you two were meant to be. 
You told her you’d be back in 10 or so minutes and made your way down the illustrious hallway. The walls were decorated with Bengals memorabilia, ranging from the beginning of the team and up to now. There were quite a few things on the walls about Joe, and seeing them made your heart full. 
You made your way down to the tunnel and locker room area, not sure where you should go from here. He did tell you a while back that family was allowed to be down here once in a while before or after the game, but you didn’t know where you should be. 
You took a peak at the field, seeing that there were a few players in their jerseys out there. “He must be getting ready to go out for some last-minute warmups before the walk-in,” you said to yourself. 
A sigh left your lips as you sat down on the bench across from the locker room entrance. You waited there for a few moments until you saw the door open, and out came Sam.
You immediately stood up and walked over to him and he noticed you instantly, “Oh- Hey Y/N! It’s great to see you. Jess told me you may be coming to the game so it’s great to see you here! How are you?” he asked. 
“I’m amazing Sam, Um, where’s Joe?” You said, getting straight to the point.
He chuckled and shook his head, “He should be coming out in a minute. Man, you two are definitely something,”.
Before you could ask him what he meant by that, he quickly cut you off because he had to go. “Anyways, I gotta go out there but good luck and enjoy your first in-person game,” he smiles as he puts his helmet on and starts to jog out. 
You say goodbye to him as you lean back against the wall. “Any minute now,” you whisper to yourself. 
A few minutes pass and you decide to go on your phone, seeing a few messages from Jess. She was letting you know that she was sitting inside the suite and grabbed you some food for when you got back. You were in the middle of sending her an update when you heard the door swing open. 3 men stepped out in their football gear and walked over to the tunnel, however, 1 stayed right in front of you. 
“Y/N?” the familiar voice asked. 
You looked up from your phone, and there he was. The man of your dreams, the person who made you feel cherished and safe.
“Joe,” was all you could say. The nerves you had been feeling for the past hour suddenly disappeared at the sight of him. 
He walked closer to you as you slipped your phone into your back pocket. His heart fluttered as he noticed you had his jersey on, but most importantly, you had the necklace on. 
“What are you doing-,” he said before you leaped into his arms, taking him by surprise which caused him to stumble back a little. 
“I’m so sorry. I am so so so so sooo sorry,” you said as you pushed your face into the crook of his neck. His arms hovered for a second before moving around your waist, holding you tightly. 
“For what?” he asked. 
You pulled your face out of his neck and met his eyes, “Everything. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere,” you said as you gazed lovingly into his eyes. 
“But that’s only if you still want me-,” you add before he leans down and pushes his lips against yours. God, you missed the feeling of his lips against yours.
You both pull away after a few seconds, “Does that answer your question?”.
You grin at his little gesture, “Absolutely,”.  
He pulls you back into him, swaying you back and forth for a little. “We can talk after the game? At least, that’s if you’re staying,”.
“You really think I would be wearing your jersey if I wasn’t here to watch you,”.
“Fair point,” he laughs. He looked out over at the field and saw a few of the staff looking for him. “I gotta go,”. 
You release yourself from his embrace, “Don’t wanna keep them waiting too long,” you giggle. “I’ll be up in the Burrow Suite, just like we talked about,”. 
Joe felt like melting in the moment. He still couldn’t believe you were here, in his jersey, and were about to watch him play. He was scared and thought that he had lost you for good after what happened but you proved him wrong. 
“I’ll be looking for you,” he says, giving you a look that tells you he means business. 
“And I’ll be there, I swear,” you salute. 
He pulls you back in for another hug, “God, I can’t believe you’re here right now,”.
“Well, get used to it. I think I’ll be letting them know to save a permanent seat for me up there,”.
“I’ll buy you a whole suite just for yourself if you want me to,” he jokes, only partly.
“Baby Steps, Joey. Baby steps,” you giggle. 
Your tender moment is soon interrupted by a training staff member walking by, “Joe, we need you out there. They wanna go over a few things before kick-off,”.
“I‘ll be there in a sec,” he says, still holding you. 
“You should probably go before they send out a search party,” you say as you look up at him.
“You’re probably right,” he laughs as he lets go of you. “I’ll see you after the game in the suite. Hope you have fun,” he smiles. 
“Oh I will,” you respond. Joe presses a kiss onto your cheek before walking towards the tunnel. 
“Wait,” you whisper to yourself. “Wait, Joe!” You yell as you speed walk over to him before he goes out. He quickly turns around, “What’s Wrong?”.
You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders before moving your face closer to his, pressing a warm kiss on his lips. 
“I love you,” you whisper against his lips after you pull away. His eyes widen at your words and his stomach does a backflip. “Knock ‘em dead, Shiesty,” you say as you press another kiss to his lips before walking back to the hallway that leads up to the Suites. He felt absolutely love-struck as he watched you walk away. You said it. You finally said it. 
“Damn,” He whispered to himself, a huge smile on his face.
An hour later
The game was going great. Joe was killing it and seemed to have snapped out of whatever came over him the past two weeks. It was the start of the fourth quarter, the Bengals leading 27-21, and you were having the time of your life. 
“This is so fucking fun,” you grin as you take another sip of your drink.
“Welcome to the football life my friend,” Jess laughs.
“He’s too good, he is TOO good,” you yell, slightly tipsy since you had a few drinks. You mental note to not drink stadium cocktails because they were so strong, and you were definitely feeling it. 
“Ooof, third down and this is a crucial spot,” you say, standing up and moving closer to the railing. 
“Let’s see how it goes,” Jess says, putting her drink down and joining you at the railing. You held your breath as you watched the play unfold. Joe took a few steps to the side and a little back and then moved around as the pocket collapsed. He found an opening and launched the ball down the field, all the way into the endzone, which was then caught by Ja’marr for the touchdown. 
The crowd erupted at Joe’s impressive movement considering his knee and the amazing throw. “Holy Shit! That was a Dime!” you screamed over to Jess as you jumped up and down. 
“Look down there!” she said as she shook your arm out of joy.
You looked down and saw Joe facing the suite, on a knee doing what looked like the ‘archer’ pose, and drawing back his bow and arrow. He smiled as he released the imaginary bow straight up at you. Everyone below you in the stands looked up to see what he was paying so close attention to and saw you.
“Awww,” Jess teased.
You moved your hand to your heart as if you were struck by the bow and stumbled back for dramatic effect, and he noticed. Everyone noticed. He waved at you as he got up and a blush rose on your cheeks. It was very clear that the sign on his heart was still reserved for you by his very public declaration of his love for you. If people hadn’t caught on that Joe Burrow had a girlfriend, they sure knew now. 
“I love you,” you mouthed to him as he took his helmet off. 
“I love you too,” he mouthed back, setting off fireworks in your heart. 
A few hours later
The game ended with the Bengals winning 37-24, and people were raving about how Joe was finally looking like himself again. You had the best time watching him absolutely tear it up. You were currently waiting for him to meet you in the suite, pure dopamine coursing through your veins after that electric game. 
You were staring out onto the empty field, taking in the feeling. The bright lights and the poster of Joe being lifted up over his friend’s heads after the win that sent them to the Super Bowl last year on the side of the stadium made this all start to feel real. This was going to be a common thing for you, you belonged here. 
You heard the door swing open, meaning Joe was finally here. You turned around and saw him standing there with the biggest smile on his face. You ran over and launched yourself into his arms, pressing maybe a dozen kisses around his face. 
“You did so good, Joe,” you say in between kisses. “I’m so proud of you,”.
“Thank You,” he laughs as he holds you closer, never wanting to let go now that he had you for good. “I needed that extra kick from the heroine from earlier,”.
“What Kick?” you asked, incredibly confused. 
He burst out laughing once he realized what you were thinking of. “Heroine with an e”, he jokes. “Ya know, a girl with extraordinary characteristics and a great way of going about things,”.
“And am I supposed to be the Heroine?” you said as you tilted your head.
“Yes Ma’am,” he nods.
“But what did I say that gave you the extra kick?” you asked, completely oblivious. 
“Oh, you know, the ‘L’ word,” he said.
You paused for a few seconds before shouting, “Oh, you mean love?” as you leaned back a little while Joe nodded. “Yup it is true, I love you! I loveeee you Joe Burrow!,” you screamed at the top of your lungs. Normally you would never think of screaming in public like this, but it was a mostly empty stadium and empty suite. Just the two of you and you felt that feeling so strongly and this was the best way to let it out. 
“Are you drunk?” He laughs.
“Maybeee a little. Don’t get mad, those stadium cocktails are not for the weak,” you slur. “But that doesn’t make this any different, I still love you. Sober, Drunk, or High,”. 
“I love you,” he laughed before leaning in to press a deep kiss onto your pink lips which caused you to stumble back a little, his grip on your waist incredibly strong like he was never going to let go.
You both stayed in each other’s arms for a few moments, chatting about the game and how he absolutely loved the feeling he got once he saw you sitting in his suite. And you telling him about how much fun you had at your first football game. 
“It was amazing,” you said as you both sat down on the couch in the corner. “I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life ,”. 
“I’m glad you had fun,” he grinned, reaching over and entwining your fingers.
“I’m so proud of you, I mean you really killed it. I know the last few games were tough and those clowns wouldn’t shut up about their stupid ‘burrow is overrated’ agenda, but you didn’t let that get to you. You went straight for the crown,”. 
Joe started laughing which made you a little confused. “What’s so funny?” you asked.
“Just laughing at the scene. I can’t believe you’re here right now and giving me a motivational speech about football,”. 
“We’ll get used to it Joe, I think I’m taking a permanent position as your personal cheerleader,” you say as you run your hand through his wet curls. 
“God, I love you,” he says, your smile dropping a little which he notices.
“Hey Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks while absentmindedly rubbing your hand to help you relax.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it,” you said while looking down at your feet.
“Hey, don’t say that,” he says as he squeezes your hand. “You’re here, that is what matters,”. 
“You’re right, I am,” you say as you look back up with a smile. “And I don’t ever plan on leaving. You are what I’ve been waiting for and I finally have what I’ve always wanted. Someone who really loves me and appreciates everything about me. Someone who gets me and makes me feel like I’m on Cloud 9,”.
“I’m done being afraid of Love. You’ve shown me what true love feels like and that you are not like the amateurs. You know exactly how to win a girl over and treat her like she is the most special person in the world,” 
“Not only that. You also have someone who is infatuated with you, thinks you’re the coolest girl in the world, the most gorgeous woman to grace the planet, and the most remarkable human being he has ever met,” he adds. 
You feel like a breath of fresh air just hit your face and like you could breathe again. It was going to be different this time. It was going to be different because of Joe. 
“I love you,” you said to him again.
“I will never get tired of hearing that,” he says as he moves his hand to cup your cheek.
“Good, I’ll never get tired of saying it,” you say as you move your hand onto his which is on your cheek. 
“I’m glad we just let things fall into place by itself,” he says. “Well, other than my many attempts to win you over in the beginning. But after I finally won you over, everything was natural. Even this moment,” he says as he moves his hand back to yours, once again entwining your fingers. 
“Yeah,” you nod. “Who are we to fight the alchemy?”.
“Alchemy?” He asks as he raises his eyebrow.
“Yup. Same thing as chemistry, but that’s too common of a word to describe this. Alchemy is rare and it’s magical. A kind of transformation that only happens once every few lifetimes,”. 
“You turned something broken and dull into gold,” you add. “Alchemy,”.
“Huh, I guess I should use the word Alchemy to describe us from now on,” he says while rubbing your thigh. 
You moved closer to his warm body and pressed a slow kiss onto his lips, “Sounds like a plan,”. The love inside of you quickly turned to lust at the sight of your boyfriend plus the alcohol in your system. He looked absolutely mouthwatering. His wet hair from his post game shower, his flowy black shorts, and his partially wet white tee was sending you into overdrive. 
“Did I mention how sexy you look wearing my jersey?” he teased as he looked down at your outfit.
“I mean, it is yours so technically you look sexy wearing it too,” you giggled. 
“Mmm, you make it look sexier,” he disagrees. 
The soft glow of the lamp next to the couch wrapped around you both as you sat on the couch with Joe. The tension between you was palpable, the desire simmering just beneath the surface. 
You finally accepted your love for Joe and he was yours. Now you could fully enjoy these moments with him without that nagging thought of getting your heart broken in the back of your mind. 
Without saying a word, he reached out and pulled you closer, his lips crashing against yours in a fierce and hungry kiss.
His hands roamed your body, igniting a fire within you that you couldn't control. The physical connection between you was extremely clear once again. You moaned into his mouth as his fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you closer to him. Your bodies pressed together, the heat between you building with every passing second.
You straddled his lap, feeling the hard muscles of his chest beneath your fingertips as you ran your hands over his body, desperate for more. Joe's kisses were fierce and demanding, his passion evident in every touch.
Lost in the moment, you wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as you became lost in each other. As the intensity of your passion grew, the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you entwined in a heated embrace. And in that moment, nothing else mattered but the raw love you felt for each other.
You pulled away from the passionate kiss, breathless and your chest heaving. You looked into his ocean blue eyes which were filled with love and warmth and said, “I love you Joe Burrow, forever and ever,”. 
You weren’t scared anymore. You stopped fighting the alchemy and let the magical transformation happen just like it was supposed to. 
—The End—
251 notes · View notes
tropes-and-tales · 7 days
Text
Don't Gloat
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(From the "Shut Up" kiss starter prompts, found here)
CW:  Richie being Richie, swearing, mild violence (a misunderstanding), smut (PiV, protected). 18+ only.
Word Count:  7289
AN:  Requested by an anonymous person, place, or thing!
AN2: Drabble? I don't know her, apparently.
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Your first real fight is over chicken.
You squabble, pretty much from day one.  Carmy hires you to help in the kitchen, and Richie immediately takes an intense dislike to you.  Adding you upsets the delicate ecosystem of The Beef.  You are unnecessary.  Richie makes it known on your first day.
“Don’t get comfortable,” he warns an hour into service.  “Cousin doesn’t run things.”
“Seems like he does,” you shoot back.
“I’m the manager here.”
Here is where the dislike really starts.  Richie is rude and sarcastic, but you’re a chameleon.  You can shift and change your demeanor to match what someone is giving you, so when Richie is rude and sarcastic to you, you respond in kind.
You call him “Mister Manager” in a tone dripping with sarcasm, and by the end of that first shift, Richie completely hates you.
The feeling is mutual by the end of your second shift.
At first, you just squabble.  You trade barbs and insults.  When Richie throws a temper tantrum over Carmy’s organization of the spices, you pout and turn to Ibra and posit that Richie is grumpy because he needs a juice box and a nap.  Which makes Ibra cock his head at you.  He speaks English impeccably, but sometimes he misses the finer nuances of language like sarcasm. 
“I do not think we have juice boxes here,” Ibra says, and Tina swats him as she walks past.
“She’s being sarcastic, you old bitch,” she tells him.
The allusion to Richie being a toddler isn’t far off.  He acts childish all the time.  He flings cookware around when he’s having a tantrum.  He swears, he throws out middle fingers like an angry pre-teen. 
He hides your expensive Henckles knives.  He turns the heat up or down when your back is turned.  Once, he parks you in behind The Beef, and when you go to leave, he’s nowhere to be found—you end up doing a thirty-six point turn, a fraction at a time, before you can properly pull out and drive away.
But your first real fight is over chicken.
The meat delivery is wrong one day.  You’re short on beef, but there’s five whole chickens, and Carmy throws up his hands and tells you to come up with something.
So you do. 
You roast them low and slow so they stay tender, and you’re putting the finishing touches on the sauce—an adobo-based barbeque that’s the perfect blend of tangy and smoky—when Richie strolls in.  He’s in his stupid leather jacket and ridiculous blue track pants, and he announces himself with his usual grinning, “what’s up, you fucking lizards?”
Sweeps and Manny call out their hellos, but Richie ignores them.  He’s already super-focused on you…and the sauce you’re stirring over a low heat.
“What the fuck is that?” he asks.  He stands too close to you, dips his head close to the pot, and takes a loud sniff of it.  Then rears back with a grimace, like you’re simmering a pot of shit and not a finely balanced sauce for your roasting chickens.
“It’s barbeque sauce.  For the chicken.”
“What fucking chicken?”
“Meat delivery was fucked up,” Carmy calls across the kitchen. 
Richie scoffs and turns to Carmy, and he gestures at you and your sauce.  “No offence, Cousin, but the place is called ‘The Beef.’”
“No offence, Cousin, but fuck off,” Carmy replies.
“Heaven forbid we try something new,” you add.  You snap the heat off and settle a lid over the pot to allow the flavors time to mellow together.  Once the chicken is done, you’ll shred it and mix it in.  You have a red cabbage slaw planned for it, and thin slices of sharp cheddar to round it out.  You turn towards the refrigerator, but Richie blocks your path.
“Nothing Italian about whatever the fuck that is.”  He glares down at you; he’s half a head taller than you, but he has a way of puffing out his chest like a bantam rooster spoiling for a fight.
Maybe other people are cowed by his posturing, but you’re unimpressed and not scared at all.
“It’s about as Italian as ‘Jerimovich.’”
His chest puffs out more, and he takes a half step closer to you.  This close, you can smell the cigarette smoke that clings to him, the old man cologne he splashes on with a heavy hand, the subtler scent of laundry detergent. 
“People come here every day and get the same thing,” he says.  “Same order every fuckin’ day.  No one is gonna order whatever fancy Noma bullshit you’re trying to pull out of your ass.”
You take a half step up to him and puff out your chest, and it makes Richie falter for a moment.  He leans back, just a fraction, but you note the movement and smirk up at him.  You reach out and poke him in the sternum with a forefinger, driving home each point.
“One, this isn’t Noma bullshit.  It’s literally slow-roasted chicken.  Two, it’s a pretty simple sauce.  Maybe it seems fancy to you because it’s more challenging to your palate than chicken nuggets.  Three, some customers might appreciate a change in their usual lunch order.  Not everyone is so resistant to change, Cousin.”
Your use of the familiar nickname makes his nostrils flare and his eyes widen in anger.  “I’m not your fucking Cousin.”
“Sure you are, Cousin.”
“Stop it.”
“I’ll save you a sandwich, Cousin.”  The thought occurs to you that you’re being childish now, that Richie has brought out some immature part of you, and you think it’s kinda fun, being a juvenile brat at work and leaning into the fight.
“Fucking stop it.”
“Stop what, Cousin?”
He turns away from you so quick, it makes you blink in surprise.  “Fucking bitch,” he mutters to himself, but he’s striding across the kitchen towards the office, and he’s calling for Carmy, so you follow at his heels and call for Carmy too.
“Yo, Cousin, can you fucking fire her already?  Jesus fucking Christ, I—” he starts, but you cut him off, mimic his growling voice and Chicago accent.
“Yo, Carmy, when are we gonna fire Richie already?  I mean, the place is changing—”
It makes Richie go fully nuclear.  The mention of change makes him apoplectic.  He turns and crowds you against the door jamb, and he gets right in your face:  so close that you can see his eyes aren’t completely blue—they are flecked with grey, like bits of mica in pavement.  You’re startled for a moment, surprised to find that his eyes are beautiful, but you obviously don’t say anything because he’s snarling in your face.
“Fuck you!” he spits out, and he points a finger inches from your face.  “Fuck you!  Nothin’ is changin’ here!  Nothin’ needs to change!”
And then he gives you his patented Richie double-chin flick, and he mutters some Italian insult you don’t know, and he’s marching through the kitchen to leave.
Not before he sweeps your mise en place off the counter, sending thin-sliced cabbage and vinegar flying.
Carmy stares at you with a look that is purely beleaguered.  He sighs, he scrubs his face with his hands, and he runs them through his hair before he sighs again.
“Whatever you and Richie have going on?  Squash that shit, Chef.”
You nod, embarrassed at rising—or sinking—to Richie’s childishness.  “Yes, Chef,” you reply.
-----
“Squashing it” mostly means that you and Richie only fight when Carmy isn’t within earshot.
Your fighting still entails getting in each other’s faces.  It still means you insult each other, albeit more quietly.  You hiss insults at him, he grumbles them back.  You part when Carmy shows up, and you each stew in your separate corners and wait for the next round.
You start to suss out where the limits are.  You insult him as a father one single time, and the flash of hurt on his face makes you hold up your hands in a truce and apologize. 
He insults you once as a woman with daddy issues, and the words hit you like a punch to the gut.  You did grow up without a father—he died when you were six, and your only memories of him are full of pain from the stomach cancer that slowly killed him.  But you must show the hurt on your face too because Richie takes a step backwards away from you, stammers out an apology too.
All told, once you know each other’s hard limits, you actually fight pretty nicely, and if anyone notices it, no one says anything.
-----
Sunday nights are a good time to come in to The Beef and set yourself up for the week.  You work it out with Carmy because it gives him a break and gives you a few more hours.  You enjoy the time there with the restaurant being closed—you blast your music, you sing along at the top of your lungs as you rotate stock, make detailed shopping lists for Carmy, and make sure everything is clean.
If one thing infuriates you, it’s the way certain national media outlets focus on Chicago as a cesspool of violence.  But it is a large city, and violence does happen, so when you’re in the basement of The Beef and hear the beep of the alarm system as it is deactivated, you immediately feel ice cold all over.  The alarm system, Ibra told you once, is easily overcome, and The Beef has been robbed before.
You glance around and see that you’re trapped, unless you want to rush up the steps (not advisable) or shimmy out a tiny window at street level (also not advisable).  There’s nothing in the way of weapons in the basement either, so you arm yourself with a half-burnt cookie sheet and tremble as you listen to the heavy tread above you.
Maybe they’ll just trash the place and leave.  There’s nothing worth stealing, unless they want to wheel out the massive, ancient Hobart.  Maybe they’ll get into Marcus’s stash of good vanilla.  Maybe they’ll—
Maybe they’ll make their way to the top of the stairs.  Maybe they’ll pause there and start walking down to where you wait.  You try not to breathe too loud, but your heart is hammering in your chest, your pulse is in your ears, and you’re flooded with adrenaline as the shoes of your would-be assailant come into view.
You don’t hear Richie’s voice when he calls out your name.  You’re too panicked.  You don’t hear him, and you don’t even register him when he rounds the corner—he’s in his usual track pants and leather jacket—because you’re fully in fight-or-flight mode…and independent of your will, your body chooses fight.
“Fuck you!” you scream, and you swing the cookie sheet directly at his head with all the force you can muster.  Your assailant stumbles backwards with a cry of pain, and you drop the pan and try to scramble past him, but you trip over his foot in your panic and fall hard, cracking your shinbone against the lowest step.
If you ever idly wondered how you’d react in a real life-or-death scenario, here is your answer:  you scream and scream, and you clutch one hand to your throbbing shin but flail your other hand at the person reaching for you, and it’s not until you smell him—the familiar cigarette/old man cologne smell—that your panic ebbs a little.
And then you see those blue eyes flecked with grey, and even if Richie is your enemy at work, he’s never really been an enemy in the true sense of the word.  The relief that you aren’t about to be raped or murdered floods you so suddenly that you burst into tears. 
And then you hug him, your arms so tight around his middle that he breathes out a sharp oof, but then he wraps one arm around your trembling form while the other clutches his bleeding nose in an attempt to staunch the blood.
“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” he asks.  His voice is thick and nasally, but there’s a hint of amusement to it.
“Thought you were an intruder.”  You release him from your hold, and you will yourself to stop shaking. 
“Carmy.”  He shakes his head.  “Guess Food and Wine’s Best New Asshole didn’t tell you I was coming by.”
“He did not.”
Richie reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wrinkled napkin.  He presses it to his nose and winces, and your panic is replaced by shame.  You’ll never live this down, you realize.  Richie is going to tell everyone first thing tomorrow, and he’ll add his usual Richie flourishes to make your screams more shrill, your flailing more erratic in the retelling.
His nose stops bleeding, and he checks it tentatively.  He prods at the swollen skin, red that is going to bruise by morning.  He fixes you with a curious look.
“You hit harder than I would have thought.”
“I play softball.”
“Where?”
“Lincoln Park.  At the North Avenue fields.”
He huffs at that.  Clears his throat.  “Yeah, my daughter has t-ball there.”
Your panic is gone now, and you feel more like yourself.  Your leg throbs at where you banged it, and it will be bruised by morning like Richie’s face.  You limp over to the big table and gather up your coat and purse.
“Don’t do that,” you tell Richie.
“Do what?”
“Don’t…whatever.  Talk to me nice.  Tell me about your daughter.  Don’t do that.”
He snorts and says, “why the fuck not?”
“Because we’re not friends, and you scared the shit out of me, and now I’m all keyed up and just want to get home instead of having an impromptu bonding session with the one guy at The Beef who truly, honesty hates me.”
“Alright, fine.  You’re a fucking head-case to freak out the way you did, and I think you broke my fucking nose.  Better?”
It startles a laugh out of you, and your laughter makes Richie grin.  It’s shy, and he ducks his head, but you catch it all the same.
He clears his throat again, then asks if you drove there.  You tell him no—you had a premium parking spot on your street, so you took the L.  He nods at that, and he seems to be thinking through something, so you pull on your coat and sling your bag over your shoulder and wait for him to say something.
“Let me drive you home, at least, “he finally offers.  “You’re all sorts of fucked up.”
“I’m fine.”
“The hell you are.  Someone looks at you wrong on the train, gonna catch an assault charge.”
“You’d love to see me in prison,” you reply.  “Out of your way.  No one left to defiantly make a delicious chicken sandwich special and destroy the system here.”
“Asshole.”  He shakes his head, then gestures for you to take the stairs ahead of him.  “I’m driving you home.  Let’s go.”
You can’t admit that a ride sounds fantastic.  You do feel keyed up, anxious and twitchy, and even if it’s Richie, you’re grateful for the offer.
Even so, as you limp upstairs, the pain in your leg makes it easier to admit to him.  You turn as he resets the alarm, and you thank him, softly.
“Yeah, fine.  Whatever.”  He points at his car, then grumbles, “c’mon already.”
-----
Somehow, it becomes a thing.
Sunday evenings become yours and Richie’s thing.  The work should go twice as fast, but Richie doesn’t work so much as… not work.  He leans in the doorway of the walk-in as you take inventory, he perches on the counter as you make giardiniera for the next day.  He sits in the office as you write out the order list for Carmy, and he gripes about how long you’re taking, how he has better things to do.
If that were true, why does he spend every Sunday with you?  You doubt Food and Wine’s Best New Asshole told him to, yet he shows up every week and complains the entire time.  He complains the entire drive to your place, and when you thank him for the ride, he either flips you off or makes a jacking-off motion with his hand before he peels away from your curb.
“You almost done?” he asks now.  “Got shit to do.”
“You don’t have shit to do.”  You check the takings from last week, do a quick calculation in the margin of the print-out.  “If you did, you wouldn’t be here.”
“Someone’s gotta keep an eye on you.”
“Why, you afraid I might introduce a dish that isn’t entirely Italian-American approved?”
He grumbles, “nothin’ needs to change.  Menu’s fine the way it is.”
“You really don’t have to stay, Richie.  I can handle myself.”
“Bullshit you can.”  He leans forward, taps the side of his nose.  “You handle yourself so well, you dislocated my fucking nose.”
“And it gave your face some character,” you retort.
“What’s wrong with my face?”
You glance at him, roll your eyes.  “Aside from the fact it’s always in my face, glaring or stirring up shit?  Nothing.”
He leans back in his chair again and sighs.  “I don’t stir up shit.”
“You do.”
“Don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I fucking don’t.”
“You talk way too much, Richard.”
“Don’t call me fucking Richard.  You sound like my asshole mother-in-law.”  He pauses, then amends it to, “my former asshole mother-in-law.”
A long beat of silence passes.  You calculate the meat order, the vegetables, the shelf stable stuff.  You balance out the order against where there’s already overdue bills—Carmy is juggling the vendors as best he can, and you try to give him relief where you can—
“Done yet?”
“Nope.”  You cross out the one line for the produce vendor, split it between two vendors.  “What are you in such a hurry for?”
“Told you.  I got stuff to do.”
You glance over at him.  He does seem more keyed up.  His leg bounces up and down, and he wrings his hands in his lap. 
“What sort of stuff?” you ask.
He mumbles his answer, and you miss it at first.  When you arch an eyebrow at him, he repeats it.  An embarrassed, “got a date.”
You pause in your writing and turn to face him.  Fak told you once about Richie’s imploded marriage, and he had heavily implied that Richie was still pining for his ex-wife.  “A date?” 
He shrugs.  “Kind of a date.”
“What’s kind of a date?”
Another shrug, and he fixes his gaze to the dirty tile floor.  “We went out last week, and we talked about grabbing a drink tonight.  I was gonna text her after I drop you off.”
“Sounds like a regular date to me.”
He lifts his hands in a gesture of helplessness, then lets them fall again.  “I dunno.  Wasn’t really feeling it, you know?”
You turn completely to face him, your list forgotten.  “Then why agree to a second date?”
Another shrug, a sheepish lift and fall of his shoulders.  The two of you are toeing the line of near-friendship, your usual squabbling turning into an honest-to-god friendly chat, but maybe Richie doesn’t have any confidants in his life, because he sighs, then mutters about how she seemed cold, how she wasn’t charmed by his Bill Murray voicemail greeting story, but how he thought he should try anyway—
“Richie, I’m not your gal pal in a rom-com, but if you aren’t feeling it, don’t do it.  Jesus, that’s just common sense.”
He fixes you with a glare.  “Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize you were a goddamned relationship expert.”
“It’s common sense.”
“When was the last time you went on a date?”
You bristle at the question.  Your love life is about as dead as The Beef’s commercial credit, but Richie doesn’t need to know that.  But you hesitate long enough that he can guess, and he laughs at you, and you bristle more.
“I knew it!”  He points at you, and you swat at his hand until he lowers it.  “You give off this whole ‘hasn’t been laid in a long time’ vibe.”
You turn away from him and bend your head back to your ordering list.  “Shut up,” you mumble.
“All those prissy little dishes you add to the menu.  You’re all wound up.  It makes sense.”
“My culinary excellence has nothing to do with my love life or lack thereof.”  You hope your tone is even and nonchalant, but you fear it comes out as defensive.  Which it must, because Richie holds up his hands again.
“No judgement.  It’s tough out there.  I get it.”
You groan and turn away from him, twisting yourself to get his smirking face out of your peripheral.  “You should leave.  Go get ready for your kind-of date.”
“Nah.”
“Seriously, you can go.”
“Nah.”  You hear his deep breath, then a beat later, he continues.
“If you ever want to blow off some steam, we could…”  He trails off, but his intent is clear, and you feel a prickly heat break out across your skin. 
“…shut up, Richie.”
You turn a little and he reappears in your peripherals.  He presses his hands together in a prayer position, then presses his fingertips near his mouth in an expression of thoughtfulness. 
“Shut up, Richie isn’t no, Richie.”
“It’s most certainly no, Richie.”
“Look at me.”
“I gotta finish this list and send it to Carmy—”
“Look at me, sweetheart.”
You can’t.  You stare at your handwriting—the 50 pounds of cake flour Marcus needs—and you feel yourself heating up at the sudden image of you and Richie—no, you shove the mental image away, shake your head to clear it, and the man notices all of it.
“Why can’t you look at me?” he asks, and his voice is soft, low.  A graveled rumble, roughened by the cigarettes he chain-smokes when he’s not inside, and you don’t know if it really has been that long, but it’s a step-progression of reactions in your body.  The prickle of heat along your skin, the way your skin feels too tight.  The way your mouth feels too dry all of a sudden.
The strong, traitorous pulse of desire between your legs.  Fuck.
“Wouldn’t have to mean anything,” he continues with that low voice.  “No one would have to know.”
“Shut up, Richie.”
“Still not hearing a no, sweetheart.”
You breathe in deeply through your nose, then turn to face him squarely.  You look him right in his eyes—those bright blue eyes, flecked with grey, beautiful—and say, “No, Richie.”
He stares back at you, and a smile slowly unfurls across his face.  A real smile, not his usual shit-eating grin or smarmy smirk.  A real smile that, paired with his gorgeous eyes, makes his face transform into something beautiful.  It’s like he’s lifted his mask for a moment and is showing you who he really is.
“You’re tempted.”  He sounds in awe of the revelation, and he leans back against the wall.  “Holy shit, you’re really tempted by it.”
“No, I’m—”
“Bullshit,” he cuts you off.  “You are.”  His smile stays fixed on his face, and he shakes his head.  “Holy shit, sweetheart.”
You grumble out the weakest rebuttal, but he only laughs and shakes his head again, and the last half hour is passed in uncomfortable silence:  you as you email the shopping list to Carmy with hands you will into steadiness, and Richie as he grins at you and chuckles to himself.
Of course he drives you home, just as he always does.
And of course he parks his car and comes up to your apartment when you invite him up, which is a first.
*****
A therapist would have a lifetime of secure business if Richie ever decided to pursue therapy for himself.  Not that he would—feelings are bullshit, and life is tough all over—but if he did…there’d be a lot of deep shit to mine.
At the core of him, Richie is desperately insecure.  He had a dicey childhood, and he glommed on the Berzatto family to make up for his own family’s shortcomings.  He had Tiff, for a glorious while, then lost her.  He has his daughter, but only part-time.  He lost Mikey, the nearest thing to a brother, and now he’s slowly losing The Beef as it becomes something more than a sandwich shop.
No wonder he feels lost all the time.  No wonder he lashes out and hurts those closest to him.
No wonder he’s been riding your ass for months, trying to get you to quit even as his initial dislike has mellowed out to acceptance and then to…something else he won’t name.
He can’t lie to himself:  that night in the basement shifted things.  Maybe you concussed him along with the dislocated nose.  Maybe he has slight brain damage.  He can’t account for it any other way, how seeing you so terrified caused a sea-change in him.  How feeling your arms around him, clinging to him and trembling so hard, softened him towards you.
He won’t name it.  He won’t even think it.  The most he’ll admit is, “maybe I don’t completely hate her.”
Which somehow turns into this moment.  The two of you awkwardly standing in your entryway, unsure if the other is bluffing, unsure if the other is serious.  There’s too much bad blood in your shared past, and you each are expecting the other to say “sike!,” to turn it into a humiliating story to share in the morning with the crew.
You’re both wrong. 
“So, uh, nice place.”  He looks around your apartment and rubs the back of his neck.  “You got a lot of books.”
“I like to read.”
“Yeah.  Nice.”  He takes a few steps deeper into your place, and he studies the titles on the nearest bookshelf.  “Stephen King.  Clive Barker.  You like the spooky shit, huh?”
“Nothing as scary as being ambushed in the basement at night by you.”
He snorts, shakes his head.  As he’s softened towards you, your teasing has gotten gentler too.  You’ve always rose to meet his energy, and now that he’s not actively despising you (he won’t name it, he will not), you aren’t actively despising him.
“Nothing as scary as seeing a giant fucking sheet pan flying at your face—”
You cut him off.  “Okay, Richie.  Enough.”
“I’m just saying—”
“Enough words.  More action.”  You face him and lift your eyebrows challengingly.  “Unless this was all a ruse.”
He shakes his head.
“Unless this is just a prank to embarrass me later.”
He shakes his head again, and he flexes his hands along his sides.  He’s itching to reach out and touch you—he remembers the feel of you in his arms, the way you tucked so perfectly against him when you were scared.  You had been relieved to see it had been him; you had felt safe enough to reach for him, and he’s been chasing that high ever since.  A therapist would make short work of this moment, but Richie wants to feel important to you again.  He wants to feel like you need him to protect you, to shelter you.  He wants to feel like a man, needed, necessary—
You’re talking but he doesn’t register the words.  Instead, he reaches for you, pulls you to him, and when you look up at him in surprise, he dips his head and kisses you.
It’s brutal at first.  He’s out of practice.  He’s certainly never kissed someone like you—someone so infuriatingly challenging—and he mashes his lips too hard against yours, can feel your wince as you struggle to kiss him back.  So he breaks the kiss and tries again, much more carefully, and it’s so much better:  the softness of your lips, the quiet moan you give as you kiss him back.
Maybe you need it bad, but he needs it just as bad, and when he considers why he does, he pushes the thought away completely.  Because if he thinks on it too much in this moment, if he thinks on how good it feels, the way you tug at his clothes—eager but shy, your hands steady but your eyes unable to meet his—he’d have to face an uncomfortable truth.
Still, he needs to see you.  Needs to look you in the eye.  He grasps your chin and tilts your face until you’re looking at him.
“You okay with this?”  He says it softly.  He says it as kindly as he can.
“Yeah.”  You nod, then add, “no one needs to know, right?”
“Right.”
“No one needs to know.”
“Exactly.”
You offer him a smile, and it’s genuine.  It’s not your normal smart-ass smirk, the way one corner of your mouth lifts higher than the other.  It’s a real smile, and he has to push that uncomfortable truth away again because if you’re cute when you smirk, you’re beautiful when you smile, and Richie can’t dwell on the fact.
“C’mon then, Richard.  Bedroom’s this way.”
“Asshole,” he huffs out, but you push his jacket off of his shoulders and let it fall to the ground, and you tug him down your hallway. 
You alternate and he lets you strip him and yourself—a piece of his clothing, a piece of yours.  You leave a trail so that you’re both nearly naked once you’re in the bedroom.  He stands in front of you, his boxers tented, and he takes in the sight of you.  In standard, everyday lingerie—dark grey bra and panties—but the everyday shit makes his mouth run dry.  Elaborate lingerie is not really his thing, but seeing a woman in her everyday shit, the comfortable cotton shit…that feels more special, somehow.  Like you woke up that morning and put on the functional stuff, but now here you are, nearly naked for him.
You always rise to meet his energy.  He’s openly ogling you now, and you gaze back at him, openly staring back.  He has a moment of doubt—maybe he should lift more, cut back on beers after work—but your eyes are blown dark with desire, and it makes his cock twitch to see it.
You seem to want him as much as he wants you. 
“C’mere, you fucking pain in the ass,” he growls, and you roll your eyes but bridge the distance between you.  You press the length of your near-naked body against his, and the sudden touch makes him bite back a groan.  He puts his hands on your waist, and you lay your palms against his chest, and you kiss again.
The kiss grows and grows.  He bullies his way into your mouth, sweeps his tongue and licks against your mouth, and you answer in kind.  You kiss him back, and your hands stroke his chest, his shoulders, his arms.  One snakes lower and grasps him through his boxers, and he swears against your lips at the feel of your palm stoking him.
He pushes you backwards towards the bed.  He pushes you until you hit the bed, and then he pushes you down, but you reach out and grasp him golden chain and tug him down to join you. 
You always rise to meet him.  He takes charge and slots himself between your legs, but you move eagerly.  When he lowers himself onto you, still partially dressed, you lift yourself up and press against him.  Your clothed breasts against his chest, and he dips his head and tugs the cups of your bra down until you’re exposed to him.  He lowers his head and kisses you, works his mouth against you.  He sucks a mark on each curve of your breast, right where your bra will cover.  He wants you to see them and think of him, a pair of mementos to this moment.
“Fuck, Richie.”  You breathe it out, and your hand cups the back of his head.  You hold him against you, and he’s too happy to stay here for a while:  sucking against your nipples, biting lightly until you squirm.  Laving your tender buds with the flat of his tongue, pinching and tugging until you shove him away with a groan.
“Too much,” you whine, but you tangle in his chain again and tug his mouth to yours.  He kisses you, relishes how flushed your skin feels under his lips as he kisses his way across your face, down your neck, across your bare shoulders.  He pauses long enough to undo your bra in earnest, tosses it aside.  Then he kisses his way down your chest again, traces his tongue further down to your soft belly until his chin is perched right on the waistband of your panties.
“Can I?” he asks.  He traces a finger under the lace edging, and he watches your face.  You gaze back at him, your eyes still dark and pupils blown.  Your lips are swollen, and your chest rises and falls with how hard you’re breathing.
You nod.  “You can take them off.”
“Is that it?  Nothing else?”
You laugh, breathless.  “Some other time.  Really want you to fuck me instead.”
Some other time.  The thought makes Richie’s dick twitch at the idea of doing this another time.
You feel him twitch against you.  You laugh again to feel it, and you lift a leg to hook it clumsily along the waistband of his boxers.  You try to push them down, and then you’re chanting “come on, come on, come on” as he scrambles to shuck off the rest of his clothing, scrambles to hook his fingers under your panties as he draws them down your legs. 
“Condoms in the bedside stand,” you tell him, and he opens the drawer, snags one.  He notes the bright pink vibrator there but doesn’t remark on it.  He’ll tuck the image away and revisit it days later in the shower:  a rich bit of fantasy where he pictures you masturbating to the thought of him.
He tears the foil with his teeth, and he watches you as he rolls the condom on himself.  You’re absolutely fucking gorgeous, better than he ever imagined, and a galling little voice in the back of his head asks, “so you’ve been imagining her, huh, asshole?”
He ignores the voice and what it might say next.  He stands over you and asks instead, “how do you want me, sweetheart?”
Another smile.  A genuine one.  “However you want it.”
“Anal, then.”
It startles a laugh out of you, and Richie thinks he might love that—the way he surprises you into laughing.  You prop yourself up on your elbows and look at him.  You kick out a bare foot and press your toes low against his belly, centimeters away from touching the tip of his cock where it stands at attention.
“Not that,” you chide.  “That requires prep.”
“Not a no, sweetheart.”
“It’s a no for this moment.”
“Hmm.  Interesting.”  He grips your ankle and circles it with his hand, and he bends your leg.  Pushes it away from him, pushes it closer to you, and it reveals your gorgeous pussy to him:  the neat-trimmed curls, the slick arousal, the swollen bud of your clit.
“Jesus Christ, sweetheart,” he groans to see you.  “Gotta tell me how you want me, and fucking quick.”
“Missionary works for me,” you reply.  “Old reliable.”
So he climbs onto you.  He kneels between your legs, then pushes them apart obscenely wide.  You stay propped up on your elbows, watching him, but when he settles between your thighs, you fall back against your pillow.
“Good?” he asks.
“You haven’t done much,” you point out. 
“Smart-ass.”  He reaches down and grasps his cock at the base, and he drags the tip of himself through your folds.  He coats himself in your arousal, feels the heat of your pussy even through the latex, then notches himself at your entrance.  He looks down and pushes just the tip in, and the sight of it—barely inside you, the promise of burying himself inside you—makes his vision go fuzzy around the edges.
“Richie.”  You reach up with one hand to cup his face, and you peer up into his eyes.  “Fuck me, please.”
Your other hand finds the small of his back.  You can’t quite reach his ass, so you lay your palm against the small of his back and urge him forward, and he pushes into you.  He goes slow but steady, and he hears your small gasp as your tight cunt makes room for him.  He feels the stretch of it, the smooth muscles twitching at him, and he studies your face for any pain but finds none.
“Pussy’s gripping at me,” he grits out once he’s seated in you.  “Guess you needed it bad after all.”
“Don’t gloat.”  You bear down on him, squeeze him like a fist, and it makes him choke out a curse.  “You needed it bad too, I think.”
“Not complaining here, sweetheart.”
You take his chain in your hand and tug him down to you again.  You kiss him, then mumble against his mouth, “so fuck me then, Richard.  Move.”
He does as you ask.  You’re a pain in the ass, and you’re a representative of all the change occurring in his life without his permission, but he wants to make it good for you.  He remembers the way you clung to him that night in the basement, and he wants to capture that feeling again…even as he shoves the memory aside and begins to fuck you in earnest.
He doesn’t thrust in and out so much as up and down; he learned this move a long time ago and knows it feels better for his partner.  His thrusts hit every part—each reseating brushes the tip of him against the end of you, and it makes you whine each time.  The slide in and out, at this angle, draws along the firm bud of your clit.  And each time he pushes himself home, the base of him grinds along your clit too, and it makes him feel like a million bucks when you gasp out his name, warn him that you’re close—
“Fuck, fuck.  God, Richie, I’m c-close.  Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t—"
And then it tears out of you:  the hard snap of your hips as you lift them to meet his most punishing thrust, the way you tremble under him, your legs shaking, your eyes rolled back in your head.  The way your cunt grips him, ripples against him until it feels like he’s being pulled into your body, and the thought takes hold of him.  He wants to crawl inside you, wants to fill you with himself, wants to merge with you, and the thoughts are so rapid-fire he feels insane for a moment before he settles.
You open your eyes and blink up at him, surprised.  “Holy shit.”
“Told you.”
“Don’t gloat.”  You lift your head and kiss the side of his neck, and he adjusts himself and keeps fucking you.
He’s hit his rhythm now; he deals you hard thrusts and you take them.  You beg for more.  His arms burn as he arches over you.  His calves burn as he drives his cock into you, and sweat beads along his hairline.  He’s covered in a sheen of it, but he doesn’t stop.  He fucks you hard, and his gold necklace swings in time to his thrusts.  It hits you in your face until you hook it with a finger and put the fucking thing in your mouth, and he doesn’t know why it's so hot—maybe it makes him think of your mouth on parts of him instead of just his necklace. 
He makes you come a second time, and it breaks around you again, leaves you trembling and incoherent, but after you recover, you push him over.  It’s easy for you to do—he’s winded as fuck from all his smoking—and Richie finds himself underneath you as you ride him.
He’s happy for the break, but he’s happy to see this side of you.  Any shyness from earlier is long gone.  You sit astride him and bounce on his cock, and it makes your tits bounce too, and he can look down at where he disappears into your tight, wet pussy.
He’s not going to last much longer, and he tells you so.
“S’fine,” you pant out.  “Want you to come too, Richie.”
Then you reach down and take his hands in yours, you place his hands on your tits, and he sort of loves how you take charge at the end.  You push your chest into his hands and ride him, and once he’s touching you there—pinching at your nipples until you arch your back—you reach down and touch yourself.  He watches, transfixed, as you rub a tight circle against your clit, and he can feel you getting close now.  Two orgasms down, he can feel the warning signs.
“Try to come with me,” you order him.  “Want to feel it.”
He’s close.  He’s been close for a while, has been forestalling his own pleasure by listing out White Sox statistics in his head.  But now he wants to come with you as you’ve asked (he wants to do everything for you, anything you ask, he wants all of it, and he struggles to push the thoughts away this time).  He breathes in time with your riding, and he feels his balls tighten as his orgasm approaches.
“I’m close,” he warns.  “Fuck, sweetheart, are you close?”
“Y-y-yes.”  You close your eyes and drop your head, focusing on whatever you’re feeling.
“Gonna come with me?”
“Mmm-hmm.”  You take a sharp breath, then moan as you come a third time, and if he doesn’t quite come with you at exactly the same time, it’s close enough:  the way your pussy grasps at him, draws him in deeper is enough to push him over the edge, and he shifts his hands to your waist.  He pulls you down onto him and stills, feels the pulse of his orgasm as he spills in the condom.
It takes him a long while to recover.  He feels weightless.  Boneless.  He feels like he’s melting into the covers of your bed.  Like he could sleep for a hundred years.  Like he could give up cigarettes and Xanax if he could just stay here and fuck  you whenever his anxiety or insomnia are too much….
You dismount on shaky legs, and you disappear.  When you return, you’re in an oversized t-shirt that skims the top of your thighs, and you hand him a warm washcloth.
“You can take your time,” you tell him.  “No rush.”
Richie reaches down and pulls the condom off.  He ties it off and looks around until he sees a waste bin.  He tosses it, then flops back down on your bed.
“Just need a minute,” he says, but his voice is already thick with sleep, and he doesn’t remember anything else until morning when he wakes up to the smell of strong coffee and sizzling bacon.
He doesn’t remember you standing over him, bemused as you watch him snore.  He doesn’t remember you lying down beside him, covering both of you with a blanket.
And he certainly doesn’t remember reaching for you in his sleep.  He doesn’t remember how you wrap your arms around him, just like that night in the basement of The Beef, and how he sighs at the feeling of you tucked against him again.
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