#what if I am good enough for general science but not for aquatic sciences because I have no experience with it

[girlscience]

things I am happy about with the school I am accepted to: went there for undergrad so I know it and the area well, pretty close to where I live now so Missy won't have as long a car ride as some other schools would have been, it has a center for fisheries and aquatic sciences, I had one of the professors from the center as a lab professor in undergrad and really liked him, have talked to him already and he was very helpful, I will be physically closer to a some of my friends but also not too far away from my friends here or my sister

things I am nervous about: what if neither professor in the center for fisheries and aquatic sciences will agree to be my thesis mentor, what if I don't get a TA/GA position because this is going to be a lot of money, what if I completely bomb whatever application/interview process I have to go through for the center

things I feel weird about: this is not a particularly exciting school and I am worried people (my family) will say some shit and make me feel bad about it

[neon-green-reagent]

Yet Another 50 Underrated Horror Films

I guess most people would want to talk about the best movies they watched in the past year, but I thought this would be a more fun way of ending 2022. Let me give you some links to other lists before I get started, in case you are into this and just cannot get enough. Well, allow me to be of service.  

The First 50 

The Second 50 

UFO Movies 

Mad Science Movies 

Aquatic Movies

Found Footage Movies 

Heavy Metal Movies 

Werewolf Movies 

Eyes of Fire : Back in old timey pioneer days, a group of people get cast out from their community because their preacher is a sex fiend. So they find their own place. That is full of evil fae magic and ghosts and stuff, and things get wonderfully weird. 

Highway To Hell : It’s Orpheus but full of puns and dumb jokes and incredible special effects. My favorite bit is about the road to hell being paved with good intentions. Also, Adam Storke is in this... You know, Larry from the 90s Stand miniseries. That guy. He’s great here. 

Shallow Ground : Ghosts. But so so so much cooler than just that. I don’t want to say too much. This one is all about the reveal. This teenager shows up naked and covered in blood, and everyone goes what the hell happened to him? And shit gets STRANGE.

Nightflyers : Adaptation of a George R.R. Martin short story that really needs a blu-ray release, like, yesterday. Beautifully 80s SF horror film full of weird, futuristic bullshit that I can’t get enough of. 

Beyond Dream's Door : What if A Nightmare On Elm Street were made on $3 and a ton of LSD? Take this trip, no pun intended. 

Night Vision : A guy that literally just fell off the turnip truck decides to be a writer in in THE BIG CITY. Which supernaturally chews him up and spits him back out. A cool, low budget time.

The Murder Mansion : Giallo! Two rather attractive people meet, fall in love instantly, and then get trapped in a murder mansion. That’s all you need for a giallo masterpiece really. 

Goke, Body Snatcher from Hell : An alien invasion that goes super hard. A plane crashes due to alien interference, and the survivors are faced with just... the scariest alien invasion of all time. This movie fucks. 

Island of Terror : Lil goo monster that kills you the moment it touches you. It feels like they were trying to do a Lovecraft thing, and it’s quaint and British with Peter Cushing. 

The Majorettes : One of those late 80s slashers that just keeps on giving. The first fifteen minutes were hilarious enough, and then the third act happens. There’s a siege? On a trailer park? In my slasher? 

Sometimes They Come Back... Again : Alexis Arquette (RIP) gives the performance of a lifetime as an undead thug who will fuck your daughter and your dad. Watch it for her. 

Sweet Home : Nothing is quite like a Japanese ghost story. This one throws some slasher tropes in there, too, with very over-the-top kills. Then it lands the dismount. Give me a blu-ray now please. 

Creature : Alien rip-off! Now hear me out. I am a sucker for those, but this is probably the best one in existence. Watch The Titan Find cut, as it’s the director’s preferred version, and I think it slaps. 

Candy Corn : Why isn’t this a Halloween classic? It’s like Trick r Treat meets Dark Night of the Scarecrow. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, that’s an incredibly good thing. Also, the kills are brutal. 

Auntie Lee's Meat Pies : Auntie Lee has lots of BEAUTIFUL nieces who attract dumb men that she puts into delicious meat pies. Good for her, right? Some rockers in bad wigs show up and... predictably become pies. 

Skinned Deep : If Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 had no limiters on. If they were ALL off. All of them. I mean, just all of them. Warwick Davis is having the time of his life here. And Surgeon General’s mask is made out of what you ask? Boyfriend material. 

Werewolves on Wheels : A biker gang stumbles across a cult having a ritual. This makes them become werewolves. And that’s awesome. 

Distortions : Olivia Hussey and Piper Laurie attempt to out act one another while both going completely out of their minds. Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. 

Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge : When you’re such a simp for The Phantom you’ll watch a hunky version kick ass underground in a mall. Also, it’s a good slasher. With Pauly Shore being... actually a fun character. 

The Marsh : A children’s book writer moves to the country to rest and get inspired. Then ghost shit starts happening. Trust me, this movie goes around some bends I didn’t expect, and it’s really worth taking the ride. We love a good ghost mystery in this house.

Dead and Buried : The story kicks off with a photographer getting set on fire at the beach by an angry mob. And it doesn’t get less weird. Definitely more weird. It blew my mind, and I didn’t think that was possible after all I’ve seen. With Robert Englund before he was Freddy. 

Clearcut : Native American horror. This one is all about Graham Greene playing Arthur, a gleefully violent fellow with a lot of secrets. I kept thinking of Severen in Near Dark. The performance is that good, yes. 

Satan's Triangle : Made for TV movie about the Bermuda Triangle. But also the devil. With an ending that I’ll never stop thinking about. 

Night Shadow : A werewolf movie! Where the werewolf and some lady have a psychic connection. I think. I mean, I guess. And her brother knows kung-fu, but doesn’t use it to fight the werewolf. Some bad choices were made, but ultimately it’s a good-bad time. 

Tales from the QuadeaD Zone : From the maker of Black Devil Doll From Hell comes... this! A horror blaxploitation anthology that really... It really is real. Also, what’s a QuadeaD? Dunno. And that’s not a typo. That’s how it’s spelled. Watch this. You’ll thank me. Or hunt me down, not sure which.

Alien Predators : A horror comedy that is heavy on the goofball antics and low on the scares. But damn if those antics aren’t cuter because it’s Dennis Christopher partaking in them! 

Too Beautiful To Die : A late 80s giallo full of fucked up shit, a crazy murder weapon, and giallo’s favorite victim: fashion models. And I need to say 80s one more time to emphasize the true magic of this film. Okay, one more time: 80s!

All-American Murder : Christopher Walken. Ahem. Oh, you needed me to say something else? Well, murders. And lots of silly, silly, silly dialogue. And Walken gets to say a lot of it, too. 

The Killer Is Still Among Us : Another giallo. This one is all about the ending. I find a lack of resolution to be one of the scariest thing a horror film can do. Very effective. 

Slime City : A man has to eat people to keep from melting. It’s a tale as old as time. He goes full goblin mode by the end. Good old-fashioned melt movie. 

Flesheater : Directed by the guy who played the first zombie in Night of the Living Dead. The cemetery one. Not sure why that made him qualified to direct a film, and when you watch it, you’ll see that it didn’t. But that’s why it’s good. Because it’s amazingly bad. Also, directed The Majorettes from up there, if that’s any indication of what you’re getting into. 

All About Evil : Directed by Peaches Christ, this is an absolute love letter to horror cinema. Right down to the very theaters the movies play in. Cassandra Peterson stares at an Elvira poster. It’s that kind of movie. 

I, Madman : There need to be more movies like this. About the power of stories to come alive. One minute you’re reading a book. The next minute, the book is happening to you. Stars Jenny Wright, who deserved a better career. 

Grotesque : Linda Blair versus a gang of punks. Oh, excuse me. Punkers. That was one of my favorite parts, that they insisted on calling them punkers. Home invasion that goes completely WTF by the end. WTF endings are a theme with me. 

Hell High : A group of high school outcasts decide to terrorize their teacher. Not realizing a nudge will make her go postal. This movie is way better than it has any right to be, quite frankly. 

The Untamed : A Mexican SF horror film that is all about sex. It’s not SEXY. It’s ABOUT sex. And the need for it, the way it wrecks relationships, addiction to it, cheating, not being able to be true to yourself about your own identity or needs. It’s a lot. I love it. 

Death To Metal : I love to see heavy metal horror alive and well. An evil priest gets a toxic waste makeover and decides to take out his religious frustrations in a local dive hosting a rock concert. It’s low budget and full of love. 

Tropic of Cancer : Giallo! Again! With voodoo. Not accurate voodoo, don’t ever look for that in a horror film. But with magic and antics is what I really mean. And those antics are quite wild and fun. 

Final Judgment : Brad Dourif as a priest with a gun trying to catch a serial killer. Also, lots of strippers. If nothing about that makes you want to watch it, may I check your temperature? 

The Mangler : One of those bottom-of-the-barrel Stephen King adaptations with so much to give. Directed (well, in part, it sounds complicated) by Tobe Hooper. Starring Ted Levine. With an absolutely gigantic, evil, designed-by-Dracula laundry press.

Deep Blood : I haven’t seen every Jaws ripoff known to man. But why do I have the feeling this is the worst? If you want to relax with friends and laugh heartily over a multitude of poor choices and production mistakes, have I got the movie for you. 

Identity : How unknown is this? I mean, it has John Cusack and Ray Liotta in it. But I still feel like no one talks about it. Still needs way more love. And Then There Were None, but twists galore. And lots of great, fun performances. 

Retribution : A man attempts suicide right as a murder is taking place. The soul of the victim enters him and uses his body to exact vengeance. With a fantastic performance from Dennis Lipscomb and a lot of heart. 

The Devil's Men : Priest Donald Pleasence versus cult leader Peter Cushing. In a fight to the death. With a minotaur there as well. Place your bets!

The Stone Tape : Do you like Halloween III? The same guy wrote this. It has a similar blending of technology and the supernatural. And the supernatural tends to win in those scenarios... 

Benny Loves You : This is a flawed movie, but one thing is for certain: Benny is perfect. Benny loves us, and you’ll love him, too. A killer toy movie that’s a cut above the rest. 

It! (1967) : Of course, I had to include the year, because, no, I’m not talking about one of the most popular horror stories of all time. I’m talking about Roddy McDowall (doing a Psycho) and a golem. And murderous hijinks! 

Wind Chill : I know Christmas is over at the time of writing this, but this was a fantastic, underrated Christmas horror. A guy and a girl drive home from college in the snow and get stuck. Where a lot of people have gotten stuck before. And died. 

The Shuttered Room : We’re in Lovecraft country here. Yog Sothoth doesn’t show up, but a lot of other gothic trappings sure do. People locked up in attics. Getting harassed by locals who are itching to say YOU AIN’T FROM AROUND HERE, ARE YA? Covered in a layer of creepy sweat. With Oliver Reed! 

The Dead Hate The Living : Gotta end on a total banger. An independent film crew gets a little too zealous in making their horror flick and unleashes zombies upon themselves. With a ton of shoutouts and horror nerding, enough even for little old me. 

That does it! These are always a labor of love for me, and I hope there are those of you out there that get some mileage out of this. 

[grizzlee30]

Hey y’all. The following is from a writing prompt I did a little while ago. Posting it here for posterity. If you’d like, let me know what you think!

TRANSMISSION: OPERATION ALEXANDIRA IS UNDERWAY.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Being a Cataloger is no easy task, though it is an honor. Many beings from across the galaxy wish they could have the honor of knowing everything there is to know about their homeworld. Being a Cataloger means that no secret is too great, no business that isn’t theirs. They have absolute freedom and authority to investigate and record all that happens on their planet, and no government or organization is allowed to keep anything from them. Their motto was: “Posterity is the most important tool of hindsight.”

Antherumberbane, a Froxin of a more variant lineage, found the task to be perpetually exciting. The Froxins had forgone government and borders some millennia ago. The fallout of a war that nearly glassed their planet brought about the kind of perspective about self-control that one might get when you feel your balance tip just a little too far off a steep cliff. The consequential guilt that had formed in their collective consciousness brought them to a silent and official result: Anything they did, they would do for the greater good of the planet and their species. The discovery of their planet by the Collective Alliance of Planetwide Sentiance (Or CAPS for those who needed to save a minute) also helped to shift that global perspective, as that day, the world grew to an unimaginable size. Keeping home tidy seemed like a logical priority. This led to a renaissance of sorts, as every Froxin dedicated their life to the pursuit of science and the arts. Weapons and the arms race became a fleeting memory and the planet of Flotilla became a beautiful eutopia.

Antherumberbane was no different from the other Froxins. They too believed in the pursuit of a better world, which is why he agreed to the lonely job of Cataloger for CAPS. Antherumberbane did not take the decision lightly, as being a Cataloger was a lifelong commitment, not one easily broken. They had a nice life on Flotilla, for a while. They had a lovely partner that they love more than anything. But even in a world as advanced and as generous as Flotilla, sickness still existed, and tragedy was not unheard of. After their death, Antherumberbane decided to leave his post as a scribe for the scientific community and took the offer to become isolated, for that‘s what Catalogers were.

The purpose of Catalogers was not to gain intelligence to spread to other worlds. In fact, Catalogers were to take a vow of silence with anyone except other Catalogers. This was to prevent any secrets from other planets from being divulged to their home planets. Instead, Catalogers were tasked with creating a sort of galactical time capsule. Should CAPS ever fall or its members go to war, an indestructible data hold on a remote comet flying unpredictably through the stars, known to the Catalogers as “The Remnant” would be the only remains of the alliance. The records inside of it would be sealed whilst the citadel of CAPS remained to function, unsealing only in the event that the alliance had truly fallen.

Antherumberbane had questioned the method of storage privately many times in-between their duties. They understood the sentiment behind it: Create a record of every success and failure of the most advanced systems in our time so future alliances could learn from them. They were comfortable enough with the functioning of the citadel being the key to the files being sealed. It was the most defended structure in the galaxy, and no one planet could take it without serious consequences. It was even unlikely that a group of planets would have the resources to take the vessel, as it acted as its own sovereign territory governed by multiple representatives of each planet. It had its own artillery, military, software, and hardware defenses. It even had its own armada, made up of 20% of each of its member’s fighting force. It was certainly possible for the citadel to fall, Antherumberbane did not kid themselves, but it was a slim chance that anyone would ever want to. Even the warrior race of the Chibathons, who valued strength above all else to rule, saw the importance of a strong alliance within the galaxy and were able to rationalize that true strength came from such agreements.

No, what Antherumberbane took most unnerving was the location of the data. A comet kept the vault moving, surely. But it was unpredictable in its movements. There was no way to be certain it would not crash into some random asteroid and break apart, or for it come into contact with other debris or even another comet! And the Remnant itself was supposedly indestructible, sure, but Antherumberbane was pretty certain no one ever tried throwing it into a sun. Tens of Thousands of years of data could be lost in an instant, all because someone trusted the path of a frozen chunk of rock hurtling through space. The idea made Antherumberbane feel queasy like he stood up too fast from meditation. Still, he had been assured by the powers that be that, while the schematics for the vessel were vague to prevent tampering, it was unlikely that anything short of complete atomization could all out destroy the Remnant.

An alarm beeped on a device strapped around their third appendage, and Antherumberbane gave it a tap with his fourth to answer it. A message played, at first quietly in a language they could not possibly understand, followed by an automated translation in the same tired inflection and tone as the one speaking it. The recorded message played directly into their auditory bone.

“This is Stephanie Martins of Earth. I am calling an emergency assembly of the Catalogers. Please be in attendance at Primary stardate 17-85-1800.”

Hi Reddit! Rest is here:

Antherumberbane listened to the message again. Human emotion had always eluded them. Humans had the benefit of experiencing emotion brought about by chemicals in the brain, thus allowing for the evolutionary advantage of their emotions affecting the state of their body, turning anger and desperation into uncharacteristically amazing feats of strength, speed, and creativity. Many theorized this was how they became the apex predator of their planet without showing any outward traits of a common one. They had not so much fought their way to the top, but survived and out-maneuvered it. Still, there was what Froxins would describe as… sadness? No, more like exhaustion. Stephaniemartins- No, Stephanie Martins, humans had separate names instead of combing them. They could never remember naming customs of all the different planets, a weakness on their part. They had always instead defaulted to stating each members’ full name and title to be safe. Stephanie Martins had always had an air of defeat each time she discussed her home planet. Antherumberbane could understand why. They were still a primitive species when CAPS found them. They reminded them of the Froxins before the Atom Wars, petty and prideful, yet capable of change and great things. There was much to be desired of Earth, though he doubted Stephanie Martins would see it in her time. Give it a century or two, Antherumberbane thought, surely they will come around once they are comfortable with their new galactic neighbors.

Antherumberbane boarded Their private starship and activated the slip drive. They set their destination for the citadel and watched as the stars and planets warped into unfamiliar shapes and sizes. As the slip drive bend the space around it to appear next to the citadel, Anterumberbane gave pause to the message they had received. An emergency assembly was not uncommon, at least they had experienced a few. While it is true that Catalogers mainly work for posterity and they were not allowed to share information with their home plants, it did not mean that the information collected was never used. Catalogers were sometimes tasked with solving galactic issues that no combination of planets could solve. By pooling knowledge, classified and not from each planet, they could privately come up with a solution without involving politics or risking cross-contamination of government secrets. They would present the solution but not how they got there, and it was a very efficient system. Plagues were stamped out in a matter of months, treaties were drafted, and even advances in technology were spawned from these meetings. What trouble Antherumberbane is what problem Earth could have that would warrant an emergency meeting. Earth was a part of CAPS, but they still very much kept to themselves, determined to solve their own problems with no outside help, much like the impulsive adolescents they had on Flotilla. Yes, young and unabashed pride seemed to be a universal trait in sentient beings.

On the other hand, the fact that Earth’s Cataloger had called for an emergency meeting could show a sign of good faith. The humans were finally making use of the shared resources that CAPS had to offer, the first step into trusting the other planets of the alliance. This excited Antherumberbane and they became suddenly determined to put forth their best efforts to prove to Earth that they were there to help.

Slipping out of the Stream, Antherumberbane docked at their private port for Catalogers. They gathered their materials from their office on the ship and made their way to the meeting area. Along the way he met with another Cataloger, Grzx, and they walked in tandem to the meeting room. More accurately, Anterhumberbane strode on his tentacles whilst Grzx propelled himself forward with his fins using a backpack-like device that his people created to simulate swimming on air. The Yoliths were strictly an aquatic species, sporting no legs and many fins on their torso area. Though they had developed a pair of small limbs for manipulation, Antehrumber could not help but think that Yoliths had done the most effort in acclimating to an alliance filled with mostly land-based beings. Though he did appreciate their naming customs. One name, pure and simple.

“Morning keep you,” Grzx said, a traditional Froxin greeting. Antherumberbane always appreciated the small efforts Grzx would make to appeal to other species. They returned the favor.

“Good currents to you as well my friend.” Antherumberbane tilted their long neck down in appreciation and respect. “Do you have any inkling as to what Earth may be calling on us for?”

“Only that it is about time that they ask for it.” Grzx’s translator made his speech sound garbled as if he was actually speaking from underwater. “My home planet was becoming anxious in the face of Earth’s reluctance for collaboration”

“Many Froxins agree with that sentiment, though personally, I feel their reluctance is not unwarranted. Not two human lifetimes has passed since they made first contact. They are allowed some caution.”

“Regardless, their isolation bodes dark tidings. I understand their reluctance to put forward their own cooperation, but refusing it from the rest of the galaxy? That doesn’t seem natural.”

Anterhumberbane gave a slight pause before saying, “Collaboration is not something that can be easily undone. Once you invite another’s culture into yours, it is very hard to separate the two.”

“They have already chosen to enter the alliance. We did not force their hand in this matter.”

“Perhaps not, but we forget what it was like being the only sentient beings known to our homes. The prospect of such a discovery could shake the foundation of any culture.”

“True, it still perplexes me though.”

“It has also been a long time since CAPS has discovered a new sentient species. Many thought we had dried out our galaxy of such phenomena. The remote Sol System had been out of the way for many travelers, and it was a miracle they were discovered before they made it out of their own solar system. But these things take time, my friend. How long till the Yoliths came out from their watery abode.”

Grzx gave thought to that, then added pensively, “We had three generations of rulers before we officially gave our efforts to the cause. It took two more to agree to one of our own being a Cataloger.”

Antherumberbane gave a please expression. “And the humans have offered their own Cataloger in just one generation. Give them time, Grzx.”

Grzx gave a small grunt, conceding the argument. “ I supposed it does not matter now. Earth has asked for our help. Perhaps the solution we can provide today will finally allow them to come out of hiding.”

Antherumberbane gave a small girdle of approval. They headed to a large room with a large black reflective floor. In the center was a gold round table, hollow in the center making it look like a large crescent moon. In the center of the table was a small circular podium, where holograms could be displayed showing diagrams, maps, and other visual aids to assist during such meetings. It also acted as a place for Catologars to make speeches or present arguments, allowing them to turn 360 degrees to address all of those present equally. A large dome topped the room fitted with one-way glass that allowed them to see the stars dotting the expansive space that lay beyond. Many were told this room was designed so that Catalogers could always look out and remind themselves why they do this. Antherumberbane loved that idea the most out of his fellow Catalogers. It made them feel a mixture of inspired and nostalgic.

The other members had already arrived, making a total of 28 representatives of different species, humans making the 29th. Stephanie Martins had not arrived yet, her chair noticeably empty. Not surprising, however, as humans still preferred to travel at light speeds rather than using the more expedient slip drives. After giving proper greetings and asking around, it was speculated that the human should arrive any minute, as light speed was still an impressive speed and would not cause much of a delay from Earth.

Antherumberbane was speaking with Asarith, part of the small psionic Britewave species, when the doors slid open and Asarith gestured with one of its many waving policies, saying, “She is here.”

Humans were not an unusual species if unusual still existed amongst the diverse species of CAPS. While their skins could be many different tones, Stephanie Myer’s was pale, dotted with some specks of darker tones known as “freckles.” Her hair was a bright red, and her optical nerves gave a soft hue of… what was that color again?.... Ah, “hazel.” Antehrumberbane wondered why humans had a color that was only used in reference to their optical nerves, but every culture has its quirks. Everyone politely sat down, unsure as to whether to give a cheerful greeting or a more concerned one, given their unfamiliarity with human culture and the reason for this meeting. Stephanie Martins gave restrained nods of greeting as she took her place at the podium.

Antehrumberbane took his seat next to the reptilian Hamargin name KethelIkori. Harargins and Froxins shared the similar feature of having their names combined instead of separate ones or titles. He leaned over to Antherumberbane and whispered “The human seems to be in unusually low spirits.”

Antehrumberbane worried about Kethelkori’s use of the term “human” instead of her given name. That attitude did not bode well for the positive and helpful attitude that both they and Grzx had discussed earlier, but he did not take offense to his analysis of Stephanie Martins. She looked drained of all emotion. She had a great deal of moisture on her brow and was seemingly shaking. Atherumberbane tried to remember what shaking meant in human body language. They knew that could easily mean she was cold, though the EVO suit that the human was wearing should provide their preferred environmental temperature. It also could mean anger, as they remembered some of the human literature they had tried to consume in order to understand them better. The phrase “shaking with anger” had been a common one throughout. Perhaps the emergency was cause for such outrage? Though her brow was not pointing down, as is a common trait of angry humans. No, this wasn’t anger. Perhaps…

“Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I have a message from my homeworld that I have been instructed to read to you now.” Stephanie Martins said.

The translator mimicked her tone and emotion. Antehrumberbane put it together now. It was not sadness they had heard on the recorded message and it was not anger or cold that caused Stephanie Martins to shake so. Her voice quavered in a way that was not unfamiliar to them. It was the same inflection they had when their partner was diagnosed and the severity of the disease was revealed to them.

It was fear. Fear that was about to give way to despair.

Patreons above, this must be worse than they thought. Antherumberbane showed their full attention, as did many other who came to the same conclusion. Each was prepared to listen intently, offering any information they could provide.

Stephanie Martins took a long pause, acknowledging the shift in the room. She breathed deeply before saying, “First I want to thank you all for your help and companionship. You have become some of my closest friends and I just wanted to say that-” she trailed off, and Antherumberbane heard something unusual. For a split second, he thought he heard a high pitch tone that faded just as Stephanie Martins finished talking. He looked around. Others who had similar auditory processing showed their concerns. Antherumberbane was about to speak, but Stephanie Martins began talking again, this time with more determination to prop up the fear.

“This meeting has been called for those present to witness this declaration. For too long, Earth has felt the cold oppressive heal of CAPS and the pressure to become one with its members. For too long, Earth has been expected to give up its valuable resources to an organization whose values are heavily skewed. You talk of peace and posterity, yet you neglect the now. You talk of those who come after us and pay no mind to those who are here now. Your alliance is built on the flimsy foundation that all species should agree with you and do whatever you say. No more.”

The room was stunned silent. Many species showed anger and confusion on their faces and scoffs. Others showed concern. Antherumberbane did not know what to think. What could be gained by such insults? The CAPS has not asked for nearly as much as this speech would suggest. And oppressive? This does not make.

“As for the Catalogers, you find yourselves in a position above us. You observe all the galaxy’s secrets yet do not share them. You only use that knowledge when one of your own deems it necessary. You stay in your Ivory towers, deeming where and when you can use this power. No more.”

This broke most of the Cataloger’s calm and composed demeanor. There was a terrible uproar from those who firmly believed in the Cataloger’s purpose. Grzx was one of the most vocal, stating his discontent loudly. Antherumberbane still didn’t understand. Was this some ill attempt at humor by the humans. Stephanie Martins had moisture in her eyes now, a biological response to stress known as “crying,” Antherumberbane recognized.

Stephanie Martins continued, trembling even more. “But now we know your secrets.”

The room fell silent.

“We now know where you hide that knowledge. We will find it and we will spread it. All will be revealed for the galaxy to see. No more secrets. No more false promises. No more.”

Before anyone had a chance to react. Stephanie Martins looked up and yelled as loud and as fast as she could “THEY ARE ATTACKING THE CITADEL THEY ARE TRYING TO FIND THE RE-”

Just as soon as she had yelled, Antherumberbane heard the high pitch tone again. And as it grew to its highest note, Stephanie Myer’s head exploded, showering the gallery in viscera and broken glass from her EVO suit. Many cried out in shock. Antherumberbane shot upwards, now full-on all of his tentacles. What could this mean? Did the humans really mean to…

There was a loud scream as one of the Catalogers, a Canine-like Urgunnian, yelled and pointed at the dome. Antherumberbane looked only for a moment and realizing what he had seen, he turned on his communicator, broadcasting to all channels. Before the dome was breached by incoming fire from the unmistakable human armada, and before everyone in the meeting room was sucked out into the terrible vacuum of space, Antherumberbane broke his vow of silence and spoke a final message.

“Earth has declared war. The Remnant is not safe.”

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TRANSMISSION: OPERATION ALEXANDRIA. PHASE 1 IS A SUCCESS. PHASE 2 IS UNDERWAY.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

book blogging #1: Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to All Creation

by Olivia Judson, published 2002

Question: what do you think of when you think of books that are “fun” to read?

For me, a lot of speculative fiction comes to mind. Recent books that I found fun include Space Opera (Catherynne M. Valente), The Beautiful Ones (Silvia Moreno-Garcia), and everything by Sarah Gailey that I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. Though I haven’t gotten ahold of it yet, I’m pretty sure Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir) is going to be spectacularly fun as well. 

These are books that aren’t necessarily my favorite stories of all time, but they have been some of my favorites to read. They’re all propelled by zany premises and whirlwind plots, enjoying themselves way too much for anyone to ever stop and worry about the parts that don’t make that much sense. When Sarah Gailey says “I have a crew committing a heist while riding hippopotamuses, do you want in?” I don’t ask questions. I just say yes and go along for the ride.

But there’s one major anomaly that always comes to mind when I think of books that I’ve had fun reading, and that’s David Sax’s The Tastemakers: Why We’re Crazy for Cupcakes but Fed Up with Fondue. It’s a 2014 work of nonfiction, and as the title suggests it’s an analysis of popular food trends and the forces that power them. The Tastemakers isn’t what this blog post is actually supposed to be about, so I won’t go into too many details, but suffice to say that I was engrossed despite the fact that I know pretty much nothing about the world of culinary trends or foodie fads - or cooking in general, if I’m being totally honest. But there’s something really delightful about learning things that are entirely outside your wheelhouse without having to worry about the material showing up on a test later. 

Given that I’m posting this on a blog with relatively few followers and that this is a write-up of a very niche book that was published eighteen years ago and could not be further from trendy, I’m well aware that anyone reading this is probably already at least passing familiar with me and what I do, so you folks might be saying, “Hang on, Makenzie. Are you seriously trying to say that this is outside your wheelhouse? The title on your Tumblr has been “Ask The Sex Witch” since 2015. You’re a whole sex educator, for fuck’s sake!”

Well, yes and no. Judson is a real-deal evolutionary biologist and gets into some pretty serious science in this book, which is pretty wildly different from what I usually do. I talk to people about sorting out their likes and dislikes, their boundaries, their sense of personal sexual autonomy, and so on. Although I definitely advocate for introspection and self-examination, I rarely go looking for answers far beyond the individual level. Judson asks big biological questions to figure out how some truly peculiar-looking behavior evolves: Why is it worthwhile for some animals to fight to the death trying to fuck? What’s up with some species of insects eating their mates? And who, pray tell, is engaging in the noble art of penis-fencing? Clearly, this is a totally different ball game on many levels.

(Speaking of ball games, did you know that the male shiner perch’s testes completely shrivel up over the winter? That’s rough, buddy.)

Offering sex advice to humans is hard enough, but Judson - writing as chipper sex advice columnist Dr. Tatiana - easily offers education to an impressively vast variety of species. The framing device of the book is a charmingly weird one. Each segment opening Dear Prudence-style, with a short letter from an animal badly in need of advice. The first chapter, for instance, begins with a query written by a stick bug called Twiggy (aww) wondering how to get her boyfriend to stop having sex with her after ten continuous weeks of intercourse. (Answer: Girl, he’s not gonna. Apparently that’s how he stops any other stick bugs from getting it in.) For the final chapter Judson mixes it up by formatting a discussion about the pros and cons of asexual reproduction as a hectic daytime talk show, complete with microscopes to view the tiniest guests and seating that offers both saltwater and freshwater tanks for aquatic audience members to sit in, like something out of Zootopia. 

(I haven’t seen Zootopia and the only thing I know about it for sure is that in one scene there’s a DILF-looking tiger, but I’m pretty confident in the assumption I’m making here.) 

Judson does an admirable job of providing pretty comprehensible explanations for a lot of evolutionary science, and while I did have to power skim through a few segments that were really beyond my grasp, it did make a pretty lively read out of the biological pros and cons of producing sperm bigger than your own body. It’s not exactly a book that’s difficult to put down, but I had a perfectly pleasant time reading it in the moments between doing anything else - eating a meal, resting in bed, getting some sun in my backyard - and even learning a little while I did so. I fully intended to use Dr. Tatiana as a break between the two installments of N.K. Jemisin’s Dreamblood duology, and it has served that role magnificently.  

Am I recommending this book to you? Not exactly, unless you’re extremely interested in evolutionary theories that are nearly two decades old or a science fiction writer looking to give your non-human characters some thoroughly non-human sexual habits. I’m not supremely interested in making recommendations with the blog in general, unless someone specifically asks for them; I’m hoping this will be more like writing up my personal thoughts about books and then hurling them into the virtual void like messages in bottles. If they wash up on your shore and you read them and come to the conclusion that this is something you, too, would like to read, that’s pretty rad. I love that for you! But it wasn’t necessarily my intent.

Strictly speaking, I didn’t even recommend this book to myself. In 2019 I tried to stay pretty intentional about my to-read list, really whittling it down to stuff that I actively wanted to engage with rather than anything that sounded vaguely not awful. I was hoping to keep that trend up in 2020, but like many other things that are much more serious, this whole pandemic situation has scuppered those plans a bit. I get most of my books by borrowing them from the public library where I work, and that’s been closed for nearly two months. Unlike many book bloggers I’ve observed I don’t keep a massive stack of unread books around at all times, so I’ve really been relying on the kindness of friends to keep me supplied in these trying times.

My friend Paige slipped me Dr. Tatiana’s (along with the aforementioned Dreamblood books and several volumes of Kurtis J. Weibe’s comic series Rat Queens) in exchange for some books I lent to her, because we all have to look out for each other in These Trying Times. I trusted her good taste, despite having no idea what the book was about and more than a few reservations. 

At other times I think this book might have sailed right over my head - not to sneer at the so-called soft sciences, but there’s a reason I gave up on my childhood dream of marine biology and got a sociology degree instead - but right now, as I’m finally adjusting to the slower pace of life in quarantine and remembering how to focus, I’m finding that it fits my needs. It’s unlikely to live on as an all-time favorite, but it’s something to do and gives me an occasional excuse to gasp and tell my roommate something absolutely wild, like the fact that spiders have two penises and that the dual arachnodicks are located on their faces, on either side of their mouths.

My basic understanding of evolution is that change rarely happens based on logic or reason, but by finding something that works and then sticking to it, no matter how improbable it may seem. When male elephants get horny they apparently develop an insatiable bloodlust and piss so constantly their penises turn green (yikes!), which is definitely not the most practical way to do things, but evidently it’s been getting the job done. Getting through quarantine has been sort of like that, has it not? A lot of behavior that might not be the most intuitive but is somehow enabling ongoing survival, like occupying myself with books that I might not have given a second glance in the halcyon before times.

That’s totally the same thing, right?

Right.

A note about the appearance of this book:

I’ve been talking a fair amount lately about my dislike for what I see as pretty transparently romanticized materialism in a lot of book blogging spaces, with an emphasis placed on acquiring and showing off as many pristine books as possible. I don’t own this book, and it looks like ass. It looks like Paige stole it from a library in North Carolina, which would not be shocking. When I noticed the large brown stain in the corner I jokingly asked if she’d dropped it in coffee, and she unflinchingly confirmed that yes, she had.

[tricktster]

this is a weird fish rant incoming

i wrote that post about my newest aquarium with darkmantle the betta fish about 18 times because on the first 17 passes i kept trying to find ways to reassure whoever found it through the tags that the tank was big enough and cycled and my parameters were great...

because, like, in my experience aquatics as a hobby at large (but particularly on tumblr thanks to anon asks) has the potential to be incredibly judgmental! Which... like, honestly i get!

A lot of us love tech and we love learning new techniques and how to care for species with really specific needs, but when it comes down to it... there are really just a few things you have to do to keep everyone in your average freshwater tank thriving, and i’m gonna hazard a guess and say 60-70 percent of people don’t do any of them, at least not at first!

like, fucking it up is almost baked into the hobby. we still give out goldfish at carnivals, we still see products claiming that you don’t need to change water ever if you just buy their additive or throw a plant in it and call it aquaponics, and we still sell tanks specifically marketed for betta fish that wouldn’t be a humane place to keep any living being. and how do you beat that mentality, you know? when there’s a full industry saying “no, these animals actually like! living in unheated, unfiltered plastic cubes,” or “they’re great favors for parties, put them in mason jars as a centerpiece!” there’s always gonna be some percentage of people who don’t ever question that, and it’s upsetting!

worse, the people who are really into the hobby? like i said, bad care is basically where most of us started out! most of us made those same beginner fuckups, and we didn’t provide proper care for our underwater buds because we were kids, or information wasn’t available because we had dial up, or even the information in books was often wrong, or the clerk at the pet store said it was okay, or the fucking instructions on the box did. we learned that we were wrong when our pets died. then like, we got a little knowledge, and now we feel guilty that we caused any living being to suffer in the past because we didn’t know enough or do enough to prevent that suffering.

and this is kind of a wild thing about this hobby i stumbled into, because, unlike many other hobbies, there is a measureable cost to fucking it up. tiny lives are on the line, and if you’re bad at it, they die early and unnatural deaths. for those of us who find joy in figuring out how to help our charges thrive, it sucks to know that for some people who claim to love it too, an aquarium is where you put a fish until it dies a few days/weeks/maaybe months later and you get another fish. there’s some moral weight involved that other hobbies don’t have. like, there’s a lot of bad artists out there. some people genuinely suck at knitting or the harmonica. i cannot in good faith call the thing my body does to music “dancing.” generally, the errors people make if they’re bad at a hobby do not lead to suffering and death. (exception: see, my attempts at dancing, supra.)

also, the people who are really fucking it up in the aquarium sphere don’t have a huge overlap with the people who are enthusiastically showing progress pics or asking questions about the science or art underlying these little closed ecosystems. i think people really dedicated to the hobby don’t get the opportunity to interact very often with the subset of people out there fucking it up hard. like, you know it’s happening, and it’s easy to find pictures of a shitty tank if you go looking, but most people are doing pretty fucking good if they’re already actively engaged in the hobby.

so, this is my theory about judgy, judgy fishblr. i think all that anger at people who don’t care about their animals mixes with our own shame for our early mistakes and emotions run high; then, like anything else people are passionate about, some people become holier-than-thou fundamentalists about the whole fuckin thing. if they call you out, they can stay above reproach. if they can claim that anything different from how they engage with the hobby is wrong, they can’t be accused of ever making a mistake, and maybe they don’t need to grapple with their own guilt about their own fuckups that way either. like, i know this all sounds really overblown but...seriously, my tiny following on this site is because I Am A Person Who Wrote 475000 words of Fanfic About Sans Undertale, Including His Dick, and for that crime against decency, i’m sure i DO deserve some anon hate. yet somehow, in spite of my many public sins, my most unpleasant interactions on this or honestly any social media site have been about aquarium stuff? it’s not even directly mean, it’s concern trolling like “uhh sweetie good try but you really shouldn’t have a betta unless you’ve got the space for it 😏😉” and inside i’m like “BITCH IT’S 6.6 GALLONS, it’s ONE FISH, IT’S A NANO TANK,” and yet my response is always closer to “thanks for the tip 😁😁😁😁. here’s why you’re wrong but i’ll be CHEERFUL AND FRIENDLY about it because deep down i STILL need validation that I’m not hurting my animals, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I’M DOING GREAT”

(this, i swear to god, happens often enough that it’s a joke on the aquatics subreddits? like someone will post a pic of obscenely enormous empty tank, drained swimming pool etc and be like “any ideas what i should put in this?!” and the comments will be like “maybe big enough for a betta???” “no way. with a tank that small, one amano shrimp tops, and that’s PUSHING it”)

so there my dumb ass was last night, trying to write jokes about my fish while still preemptively demonstrating that i know my shit to stop any doubters from fishsplaining at me? and i just COULDN’T get it, and i was getting really frustrated, because it’s so obnoxious to be lumped in with people who never change their pets’ water and don’t know to cycle their tanks and certainly don’t regularly find themselves hunched over 5 ml beakers waiting for the reagents to assure them their ammonia level is as close to 0 parts pet million as possible...

and then i remembered how i deal with anyone who questions my competency in literally any other field. I don’t smile and emoji my way through being attacked by some asshole on the internet when any other topic is on the line. i certainly don’t scramble for the reciepts to prove they’re wrong. instead, i use every debater’s most feared technique:

I threaten to crawl into their house and put things in their ears while they’re sleeping.

Hmmm, oh, are you implying that I don’t know how to care for my obviously healthy, thriving animals? not anymore, because you can’t question my commitment with your EARS FULL OF GOOGLY EYES, JARED!

...this went so far off the rails. in conclusion, take care of your pets, and don’t be insecure in your abilities.

oh, and saltwater tank elitist snobs can eat my farts. give your balls a tug ya shitheads.

[osmw1]

Dimension Wave   Chapter 32 — The Sea of No Return

“So, any suggestions what we do next?”

The next day. We looked like drowned rats, but at least all of us were still on board. Basically, we had been sucked in by the storm and barely made it out alive. That wasn’t the last of our problems though. Our heading and location were all sorts of messed… the map didn’t help either, as it doesn’t how which direction we faced. And maybe we were so far off track, we couldn’t even use a Tome of Returning. But we did know at least the name of this area: The Sea of No Return.

“Y’all wanna just respawn?” “Alto, you’re suggesting that because we’re Spirits, aren’t you?” “You know I don’t mean it like that, bud.”

It looked like as if what he had just said meant nothing to the bastard. Him, Sheryl, and Tsugumi might not have much of a problem with dying and respawning, but it sure means a lot to us Spirits.

“Let’s keep trekking on if we’re going to die anyway! Since we’re going to get a death penalty either way, why don’t we keep going forwards?”

Tsugumi’s been all smiles since we’ve brought her on board. Maybe that’s how she is, or maybe she’s comfortable opening up to Yamikage and Sheryl and the rest of us. My sister has been so excited about it, I felt like I’d be doing her a disservice if were to even consider anything else.

It’s not like Tsugumi’s really into RPG’s in the first place though. MMO’s, and especially VR ones, always devolves into nothing but combat for her. To be fair, VR games tend to be a little boring with action, but since she’s so good at combat, she’ll plow through them using deliberately underleveled characters. Well, it’s fun just watching her, but only because of how excited she gets.

“… we don’t even know which way’s forwards.” “It’s like we’re trapped in The Labyrinth or The Endless Desert or some other sort of typical RPG dungeon.” “… ‘kay.” “But it’s a little surprising, eh?” “‘Kay.” “But I… I haven’t even said explained anything yet…” “‘Kay.” “Kizuna, you mind interpreting for us?”

We might be used to how talks, but I guess it was a little tough for Alto who’s just met her. So be it, then. Glad to be useful.

“So? What’s surprising?” “Yeah, see, I didn’t believe half—actually, most—of what you said about the sea and stuff, but now I’m beginning to change my mind.” “And why’s that?” “Like you said earlier, being lost in a dungeon would be the typical RPG thing. You know, like you clear the area to get farther, and then at the end, you get some sort of legendary sword or something. Maybe you really are onto something, Kizuna.”

That’s exactly it. From all the games I’ve played, players usually get bogged down by a difficult bit then get rewarded with a key item that’s important to the story. It’d be nice if there were a walkthrough or strategy guide, but since we’re the first ones playing, we’ll have to fumble our way through this Sea of No Return. If we want to cross the ocean, then we have no choice but to head forwards.

    We ended up wandering through the Sea of No Return.

“Kizuna! Yamikage!” “Hmmmph!” “Aye, aye!”

Attacking us were Bladed Mermen and Skyraiders—aquatic and avian monsters, respectively. Defending us were: Shouko, armed with a fan-type derivative weapon in each hand; Tsugumi, with an evolved war scythe; and Yamikage, the one-trick pony.

I didn’t think we’d break a sweat with two former frontliners, but the enemies were tougher than I thought. We were likely facing enemies harder than we should be since the storm had thrown us to who knows where. With little Energy, I was no match for them at the very least.

“Round Dance, the First: Counterstrike!”

Shouko twirled around as if she were really dancing while unfolding both of her fans. It may have been a small AoE attack, but it was enough to hit the enemies up close and farther back.

I suppose “Round Dances” need explaining too… The more these attacks are charged up, the more defense it lowers and the more damage it does, if I recall correctly. They seem to be more offensive than defensive. That being said though, the charge time with Round Dances are much longer compared to Wild Dances, but it also deals a lot more damage. Shouko’s just started using these new skills, but they seem to suit her better. I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but Shouko feels like the type to dodge attacks, rather than to parry them—like how she performed acrobatics when we fought Cerberus.

And not to mention the other day… the day when I bought my light-up lure, I discovered Shouko had yet another talent. She’s just as capable with her left hand as she is with her right—she’s ambidextrous. She can even write with both hands.

Shouko really is hot shit.

Jokes aside though, dual wielding isn’t such a surprise and characters usually fight just as well with either hand in normal video games. Skills, of course, are something you activate then you let the system work out how it goes. It’s a different story for autoattacks in VR games, however. I don’t know a lot about the subject, but I’ve heard that handedness has a lot to do with your brain. Going by that, fighting well with both hands in a VR game would probably need a lot of talent.

I also remember watching some retro TV show saying how left-handedness can be an advantage in things like sports. With VR games being the product of science experiments, it might be safe to assume they’ve counted for handedness too. Well, that’s neither here nor there though. Oh, and by the way, I’m just another right-handed average joe.

“She really blows your expectations away, eh?” “You sure you wanna stick around here, Alto? You’re gonna get killed.” “… be careful.” “So? What kind of expectations are we talking about?” “I meant, like, my first impressions of her.”

I’ll agree that first impressions of Shouko can be a little deceptive. She may seem soft-spoken and well-mannered, but she’s got a violent side to her. Don’t forget that she’s the one who said that offense is the best defense when we were participating in the Dimension Wave. … it’s almost as if she’s from a different generation or something—almost as if she’s a general from Sengoku Japan or the Three Kingdoms of China.

“Oh, I’ve just remembered. Have you been using your Crystal of Mediation, bud?” “… what are you gonna do? Sell it?”

—Stone of Mediation. The ones purchasable at NPC shops grant one bonus effect. On top of that, it also grants something called “Shield Energy” and it works much like an HP gauge like other races have. And, much like an HP gauge, it naturally recovers over time. The only thing about it is that it doesn’t grant that much more health. The weaker ones give about 50 and the best one only gives 1,000 extra points. For balancing’s sake, Stones with low Shield Energy might have a more potent buff and vice versa. I guess it’s up to the player to choose what they want more. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that Yamikage chose one that buffs her dark magic. Unlike her, though, my build is all over the place, so I chose a stone that improves my Masteries.

“Remember back when we first met, like… I don’t know, a month or so ago? Remember that crystallization from before?”

Oh, right. I totally had something like that. It’s lost somewhere in my inventory, but I should still have it somewhere. Let me just look for it real quick. Unidentified, huh?

“There it is. This thing, right?” “You still haven’t identified it yet?” “I mean, I got it before the system was even implemented into the game…”

To be fair, I suppose the system just hasn’t been activated until recently. I’m sure I’ll find more items that haven’t been patched in too.

“Well, how ‘bout I identify it for you then? I’ve checked out a few items from my line of work, so you could say I’m pretty experienced at it.” “Sure, but I’ve got no money on me.”

With the glow in the dark lure, reel, and cooking utensils, I am out dry. These Stones of Mediation might be good, but if they are, then it’s probably too rich for me…

What, you think I’m the type of guy to hound my friends over a few bucks?” “What, would I be wrong?” “Of course! No way I’d ask for money for something like this.” “Sorry for assuming. Please and thank you, then.”

I handed over the unidentified crystal to Alto and he looked at it with a magnifying glass? a loupe? A soft light enveloped the loupe as soon as he muttered “Item identification.” Immediately, the jet black crystal turns into a pale blue.

“Yep. Looks like you fished up something similar to a Stone of Mediation.” “Fishing and gutting are the only two things I do well anyway.”

Maybe I should try equipping it. It’d be more accurate to say I’m transferring over the soul from the Stone though since they’re kinda like holy artifacts.

Beginner’s Crystal of Mediation Shield Energy: 700/700 +2 Fishing Mastery Attracts more attention from nocturnal sea creatures.

Looks like this one gives two bonus effects and it gives a lot of shield. That’s really special. Even the name is different. The ones in shops are called Stones and this one is a Crystal. That’s probably because of the skills and stuff though.

“Honestly, thanks a bunch.” “Any day, my man. You’re always finding ways for me to make money, so don’t even mention it.”

Our sailing adventure was off to a good start.

contents: /prologue/ /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /ch018/ /ch019/ /ch020/ /ch021/ /ch022/ /ch023/ /ch024/ /ch025/ /ch026/ /ch027/ /ch028/ /ch029/ /ch030/ /ch031/ /ch032/ /next/

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[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X01 - The Heart of the Truest Believer

Finally, I can start Season 3! It’s been so long that I can HEART-ly believe it!

...Did you miss the puns? I missed the puns. I don’t think Emma did, because I’m just hanging on by a thread! 

(Ha! Snuck two in!)

Anyway, let’s get under the cut and see what this episode has to offer!

Press Release Emma, Mary Margaret, David, Regina, Mr. Gold and Hook enter Neverland to search for a kidnapped Henry, they’re greeted by a school of not-to-friendly mermaids who threaten to end their search before it begins; Henry finds himself on the run from the Lost Boys with another escapee from Peter Pan’s encampment; and Neal, recovering from his wounds, travels through the Enchanted Forest with Mulan in an attempt to learn the fates of Emma and Henry.

General Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness Neverland Seas ”I blame you.” Yeah, I disagree, Emma. For one thing, this plays a pretty small part of the overall story. For another, while they tried to convince her of what to do, it was Emma’s ultimate decision to do it. As she says, “We’re the same age. We have equal amounts of wisdom.” For a third, their decision, while endangering Henry, saved Regina. For a fourth, the only people’s faults for Henry’s capture are Greg and Tamara. *sighs* Look, I get Emma’s grief and worry, but this writing direction doesn’t feel genuine for her to deflect blaming Snow and David. It feels like a conflict was thrown in so that there would be more of a disconnect between her and her family.  I love Emma, but I can admit when a scene makes her completely unsympathetic despite the framing telling me otherwise, and this is a prime example. And here’s the thing: This never comes up again! Emma doesn’t apologize to them. This moment is utterly pointless!

The importance of teamwork is the big theme of this segment and once we get over that hiccup of a scene as I just mentioned, it’s delivered incredibly effectively. The conflicts between the characters, both internal and external, are incredibly real and no one is holding back. And the twist of those conflicts causing the storm is handled well! Rumple presents the bare essence of the theme, about Emma’s lack of belief, and because he chooses to go off on his own, the narrative has him fail by putting him into a traumatising position, whereas Emma’s belief in their abilities as a team and, in correlation with Rumple’s speech, herself, allows for the rest of the Nevengers to succeed.

Neverland Island So I have a nice bit to say about this segment, but it all applies to my “Favorite Dynamics” segment, so you’ll see that down there!

Enchanted Forest There’s not really much to be said about the story other than I liked it. That’s not to say that I didn’t like it or I didn’t appreciate the characters re-introduced or the interactions between them, but it was rather simple and that just doesn’t leave me a lot to talk about in terms of a breakdown of themes of major character actions. Still, the pacing was nice and the story was engaging!

Insights - Stream of Consciousness -So I didn’t realize that Emma giving birth to Henry was the first scene of the season. For some reason, I was under the impression that it happened at the start of “Coming Home,” but I honestly love it being here. Immediately, you get the sense that this arc was well planned so that it could return to this moment at the end of “Coming Home.”

-Also, I love that flicker of light as Emma gives birth! Such a special part of Emma’s life -- one filled with both joy and misery as she decides to give Henry away -- deserves the magical treatment!

-I seriously got choked up as Emma denied her chance at being Henry’s mother from the start. There’s so much love for him from the start and while it’s causing her so much pain, she’s doing what she thinks is best for him. And the gentle and yet powerful way the theme plays in the background just kills me. Swan Believer forever!

-Damn, what a cool way to go back to the present! We’re put right in the action, not missing a minute of the adventure.

-I will NEVER get over how much I love hearing Killian say “Neverland.” Whether in “The Crocodile” or here, Colin puts so much energy into the word, encompassing the danger and adventure to be found there.

-”It’s a good thing you guys don’t ask any questions.” My sentiments exactly, Henry!

-”More time than I care to remember trying to leave this place to kill Rumplestiltskin.” This provides some interesting insight into Killian’s character. It implies (to me) that he devised his Dreamshade plan with quite a few years to spare before his escape, whereas I always assumed that the planning took most of the time and that the escape was just a pinch of time towards the end.

-”Villains don’t get happy endings.” It’s incredible that this line, said by a character that left so little of an impression, is what follows Regina, Rumple, and Killian throughout basically the rest of the series.

-”That’s a great use of our time. A wardrobe change.” To be fair, Killian, Rumple’s not going to be in fighting shape sporting a Calvin Klein suit. This...honestly weird ass outfit makes the most sense.

-”You don’t believe in your parents, you don’t believe in magic, or even yourself.” Talk about a kickass line of foreshadowing of all that she’s going to overcome by the end of this arc!

-”When have you ever taken a real leap of faith?” Give it about a half hour, Rumple!

-So I must say, it’s funny that a lack of evidence is brought up as such a big story element here, but once Tink enters the picture, it’s her need for evidence as to the safety of their voyage back that secures it. A bit of dissonance, but nothing too severe.

-I love how Rumple spins his cane as he disappears. Rumple is the most beautifully extra person across the realms.

-I probably should’ve discussed this last time, but I love the design for the Lost Boys. They give off this air of being lost souls and their numbers stand to make them very intimidating.

-So going off of Greg’s death as well as the events of “Awake,” I’m gonna say that a shadow rip doesn’t necessitate death unless the shadow ripper wants it to mean death.

-”No time for questions.” I like that subtle line that’s in tune with Greg and Tamara’s line of no asking questions, foreshadowing the revelation about him.

-Damn! JMO is strong!

-The dialogue in the scene with Neal, Mulan, Aurora, and Phillip flows so naturally!

-”How long was he with you?” ”Long enough for me to know that I miss him, too.” I normally don’t make timeline jokes, but...come onnnnn!

-”I will not be capsized by fish.” This may be my new favorite David line.

-Also, any pretense that murder leaves any long-lasting effects of Snow and David go the fuck away when David tries to kill mermaids.

-Why didn’t Regina get rid of them earlier?

-”If Pan wants you, he WILL get you.” This line is delivered so well. Pan is not only just barely holding out from outright bragging, but is trying to deteriorate Henry’s belief and seeing that it isn’t working, cementing his part to play in Pan’s ploy.

-”Lead the way.” Am I the only one humming “Follow the Leader?”

-I like how, until Rumple enchants her, Tamara physically can’t talk. Very realistic.

-You know, everyone talks about heart colors when it comes to Rumple, Regina, Snow, and Killian, but does anyone notice how Tamara’s heart was pretty freakin’ red when Gold crushed it?

-Did no one read “Lord of the Flies?” Get the conch shell away from your enemies!

-”Filet the bitch.” I’m starting to think that all of my favorite character lines in this show have to do with aquatic life.

-”We need to think this through.” Emma, that why they’re shouting at each other. They’re discussing the matter.

-Okay, so I’m not the biggest Robin Sr. fan (And I’m hoping that this rewatch changes that for the better), but this was a solid entrance. It feels iconic, plays to the character’s power and good nature, and the more neutral yet noble tone that the scene requires plays well to Sean’s strengths.

-”See these markings? He was keeping track of me growing.” Awwwww!!! Papafire moment! That was necessary and beautiful!

-I just realized, this is our intro to blood magic! Cool!

-”I ruined YOUR life?” Regina, please. I thought we were past that…

-”Don’t call my wife a slag!” Yeah, Killian. You deserved the fuck outta that punch.

-I love the music that plays during the flying sequence! It’s gorgeous, distinct, and whimsical!

-CAPTAIN CHARMING BROMANCE!!! We have taken off!

-So I’m guessing that Rumple has encountered Felix at least one or two times.

-”Each of us have been too busy being at each other’s throats to be believers.” Those things aren’t correlated.

-”We need to do this the right way.” “No, we don’t. We just need to succeed.” YESSSS! Emma! That is my girl! She gets her tactics from her mama!!

-”It’s easier to get people to hate something than to believe.” That’s...incredibly accurate.

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing? Everyone Working Together AND The Mission to Save Henry- ”It’s time for all of us to believe, not in magic, but in each other.” Emma’s speech took a sentence to get going, but once it did, DAMN did it get good! Now, as one gleams from this episode, these two arcs are one and the same. The only way Henry is saved is by working together, and this episode completely captures why that’s so important.

Emma Accepting Her Parents - This second-part-of-an-arc got off to SUCH a weak start, and that’s frustrating because I KNOW it gets better from here. But what I said above does apply.

Greg and Tamara - “We don’t ask questions. We just believe in our cause.” Holy crap. Tamara and Greg went from being two pretty intelligent and well designed villains into being total morons. I will say, part of me is glad that they did because if not, their conflict would’ve been way too close to a science vs. religion debate for comfort. But they also die here. To be honest, if anyone but Rumple was to find one of them, I’d rather it have been Greg who got the additional moments of life to speak and allow for Henry to get away. His story, well, was actually a story, whereas Tamara’s connection to Neal is loose at best.

Killian’s Redemption - Killian’s redemption takes an honest-to-goodness step forward. He’s acting on his decision to care about someone other than himself (And that shows through the two people aboard the ship that can stand him), but still has quite a bit of his verbal firepower and contempt (Towards David and Rumple) that reminds us of his villainous past and that his redemption won’t be all sunshine and rainbows.

Rumple’s Redemption - Rumple takes what is a realistic step back, though I’m not even certain I should call it a step back. Despite being his Rumple-y self, the narrative makes it very clear that his decision to dessert the group and chastise them beforehand are made on behalf of the mission to save Henry. And as we see the personal trials he’s already taken on in this pursuit with the confrontation with Pan’s minion, there’s so much power that grows with these decisions.

Regina’s Redemption - Regina also takes a step back into some of her more vicious tendencies: hating on Snow, defaulting to magic and violence for all her solutions. I personally like this because while there’s an understanding that these people are family, the anger and resentment between Regina and them is still present and in the heat of the moment, Regina won’t forget it. I will say, the Regina Blames the World trope is back and it still annoys me, though slightly less so here because the framing wasn’t going for sympathy in that moment.

Favorite Dynamic Henry and Pan. Pan’s dynamic with Henry sets up perfectly the kind of monster he will be for the rest of the season. He’s an incredible manipulator and plans out everything he says in order to activate Henry’s belief just when he needs to. Look at the way he set up the pixie dust and how that moment pays off! It’s makes for a triumphant moment that becomes terrifying in hindsight. But what makes this dynamic work so well is how it is set up. In the few minutes we see before Pan’s disguised appearance, Neverland has shown itself to be a cruel place. The location itself is darkly lit and the two villains of the previous season are violently murdered. Because of that, we as an audience clutch to Pan just as Henry does and because of that, for the first time, our belief causes suffering as the deception is exposed.

Writer Adam and Eddy, as usual start up the season! And I honestly like it. A lot of it is good! I’d compare it to the Season 1 finale where it’s a good mix of story and character moments (And just like in the Season 1 finale, has a completely pointless and aggravating moment, but thankfully, this one doesn’t mean a lot)! I feel like the characters were put in a solid place where they have room to grow and are put somewhere that keeps them intimate and gives them opportunities for great dynamics!

Rating 9/10. This episode is a great way to start off the season! The settings and themes have been set up well, and the characters are in good form! It’s exciting and adventurous, but nerve racking all the same. It makes me super excited for what’s to come!

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness” Captain Swan - Look, season 2 was not Captain Swan’s golden time for shipping (For me, at least), but Season 3 is here and they are glorious! Killian is incredibly respectful of Emma, comforts her over her worries, addresses underlying grief she has for Baelfire, and supports her as she prepares for Neverland’s horrors. It’s honestly amazing! Also, Emma and Killian are sailing the Roger together during the storm!! They’re working together and it is the BEST!!! Ship of dreams...quite literally! Swanfire - And don’t think I forgot about Swanfire! Both Emma’s grief and Neal’s devotion to getting back to her is such a big presence in this episode. “Tell Emma I’m alive, and that I love her.” Letting Emma know that he’s both okay and loves her is Neal’s main priority and that’s just incredible! And I loved Neal’s scene with Mulan as he discusses his regrets leaving Emma. <3

-----

Woohoo! Season 3 is off to a solid start and I can’t wait to take the rest of Peter Pan’s Flight! Thank you for reading and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales!

Next time...I don’t know. Reader, help me out, cause I’m lost...girl… ;)

See you guys then!

Season 3 Total (9/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (9/60)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[dramallamadingdang]

Question Meme: The Run-on Sentence Edition

Hi! I hurt myself again yesterday. No, not in an "self-harm" kind of way but more in the usual (for me) "mountain-climbing incident" sort of way (I hate scree; I was so close to that summit) and got lots of deep bruises and lacerations for my troubles and was in a world of hurt by the time I saw a doctor, and I cracked something that isn't supposed to be cracked and it all hurts enough that I got prescribed narcotics again for a week and I really, really hate narcotics but I really, really like to be able to breathe without feeling like my lungs are being ripped to shreds, so...narcotics it is. 

It might make the answers to this latest iteration of Ye Olde Question Meme rather entertaining, though. Maybe. Maybe just incoherent. Well, whatever, @nekosayuri tagged me, so it's her fault, and I'm bored and my sleep schedule's all outta whack and I haven't even turned on my Simming computer in like three days and am posting this from a non-Simming laptop, so I have nothing else to post and....yeah. So, I'm like high as a kite right now. I mean, it's not totally unusual because I live in Colorado and weed's legal here, but narcotics is a totally different and much less coherent high for me. So, like, fair warning.

I'm not tagging anyone, though. I've no idea who's done this lately...

Name: Katrina

Zodiac Sign: I don't know why I answer this because astrology is a huge crock of BS, but everyone always wants to know so...Taurus. Barely. (Birthday is April 23.)

Height: Still ~6'0"/~182cm. Yay, not shrinking yet!

Languages Spoken: Fluently? At this point, only English. I used to be pretty fluent in Italian and German, but, you know, the saying "use it or lose it" applies, and since I've not had occasion to use those languages much....Well, there we are. I could speak quite a bit of Russian at one time because I spent a chunk of years there, in the late 80s when it was the Soviet Union and shortly thereafter when things were sorta nuts there. But, again, I have lost much of what I once knew. And there are smatterings of other languages that I can speak mostly-useless bits of. I can ask where the restroom is in many languages because I've traveled a lot. :) I do speak fluent bullshit, though...

Nationality: 'Murican. And since 'Muricans are really, really into their "ancestry" for some bizarre-o reason because ‘Murican apparently isn’t good enough...Like, 95% dirty Welsh peasantry (plus some Irish and Scottish thrown in for flavor) on the paternal side and on the maternal side....Well, one of my great-grandfathers was a first cousin of the English Queen Victoria. So basically, my maternal ancestry is the very confused inbred multinational mutt that is European Aristocracy. God only knows what’s in their genes, though my particular bit of it has lots o’ German. 

Favorite Fruit: Okra. It is a fruit. Look it up. Then again, much of what people call "vegetables" is, in fact, fruits, so there's that.

Favorite Scent: I've never really thought about this except when this was a question on a previous iteration of this meme that I did, and I don't remember what answer I came up with then. So I'm just gonna say...Vanilla-scented candles. Not cheap ones that just smell sickly-sweet sort-of-vanilla-y, but these ones that I buy online that smell...well...NOT sickly-sweet and like how vanilla really smells. Alternatively...snickerdoodles when they're baking. Hubby is baking me some snickerdoodles as I speak. Type. Whatever. The house smells really good. Baking bread is good, too. Before the snickerdoodles, hubby was baking the twice-weekly loaf of sourdough.

Favorite Color: Green. And/or orange. I go back and forth about which is really my favorite.

Favorite Animal: Elephants. Or hyenas. Or cats of all shapes/sizes. Or alpacas. Or llamas. Or snakes. Or spiders of all kinds. Or dragonflies. Or...Um, yeah,  I'm pretty much a fan of all vertebrates and terrestrial invertebrates and some aquatic/oceanic invertebrates, too, so...take your pick.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate all the way. I don't drink coffee because A) I think it tastes and smells disgusting, but even if that wasn't the case B) I can't have caffeine. Tea is OK. Hubby's way into herbal tea, grows/collects and dries herbs and makes his own blends and shit, and I'll drink it mostly to make him happy, but I'm not into it. I do like hot chocolate, though it's hard to find premade mixes that don’t have powdered milk in them (because I’m vegan), so I generally have to make it from scratch, so to speak, and when I do I use cashew milk as the base and I usually add either peppermint or vanilla extract for zing.

Favorite Fictional Character: Can't really pick a fave. So, have a list, probably but perhaps not really in preference order. Spock from Star Trek, who's been a fave of mine since I was 3 and was watching the original Trek in its initial run, and I announced I'd marry Spock one day. Rodney McKay from Stargate: Atlantis and Vala Mal Doran from Stargate SG-1. (Basically, if you cut up those two and glue various bits of their characters together -- and not necessarily their good bits -- you have...me. So I relate really well to both of them, so I like 'em.) Also Jack O'Neill from Stargate SG-1, but he's mostly for reasons of estrogen. (Especially if you stick 'im in dress blues. HUBBA!) Garak from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine because Cardassians Are Love. Jayne from Firefly, also for reasons of estrogen. Big, hairy, dark hair, blue eyes, solid but not too muscle-y...Yep, that's how I likes my men. And Zoe from Firefly, 'cuz OMG she's how I likes my women. HUBBA!

Dream Trip: *sigh* Still Antarctica. It's the only continent I've not been to, and I will get there before I croak, but...not yet.

When was your blog created? IIRC, it was, like, the middle of December 2013. So, I'll have had this thing 5 years soon.

Last Movie You’ve Seen: I couldn't sleep one day like a week ago, so I put on Miss Congeniality, which is one of my favorite movies because Michael Caine. When I can't sleep, I'll usually put on a really familiar movie or TV show and it lulls me to sleep, but it didn't work that time. :(

Song You’ve Had on Repeat: Englishman in New York, by Sting. I have no idea why, but it's been on repeat in my head, though I haven't actually played it lately or anything.

Favorite Candy: Not much of a sweets kind of person. I prefer salty-crunchy. I can eat a whole big bag of crisps (Like, the British ones, which are way better than American potato chips, but American ones will do) easily, but I can't even get through a whole candy bar because, ew, too sweet. That said, I do like Flake bars, but I have to go up to Canada to get 'em. Or else buy 'em online but then usually by the time I get them they're kinda smashed. Or melted. Or both. Better to go up to Canada. Where they have real chocolate and not this sickly-sweet Hershey's crap. *shudder*

Favorite Holiday: When in Canada, Canada Day is quite fun. It's like July 4th only not so...well...chest-beatingly, yahoo-y, "patriotic" 'Murican. (I really, really dislike nationalism and "patriotism" in general but especially the obnoxious 'Murican brand of it.) When in the UK, I have a fondness for Guy Fawkes Night. I guess I like fire and fireworks and things that go boom and shit, only without the "YAY AMERICA!" yelling of America's own "things that go boom" holiday. Other than that...Can't really say I'm into 'em much. They're not even "days off from work" since...Well, I've never had a "real job," and I'm pretty much retired from my unreal job these days.

Last Book You’ve Read: *cough* Does a really long and smutty and slashy Stargate: Atlantis fanfic count? I'm sad to say that, though I was a voracious reader of books when I was younger, I'm really not so much these days. Haven't been for the last decade or so, really. Not of actual books, at least. I do subscribe to and read a number of academic journals, some having to do with science and medicine and some having to do with history, but they're not books. 

Favorite TV Show: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, mostly because it has Cardassians, who are all uniformly awesome, plus all the gritty political and religious goodness and stuff. Except that its last season kinda sucked and did totally WTF things with my second-favorite Cardassian. Close runner-up would be Stargate: Atlantis. Except that its last kinda season sucked, too, and did totally WTF things with McKay, so hmmm. Stargate SG-1 is good, too, except that half its team annoys the piss outta me...although this is largely made up for by the hotness that is Jack O'Neill so there's that. I like Firefly a lot but it was so short-lived that it's hard to really be a favorite because I can watch the whole thing, including the movie, in less than a day. (And believe me. I have.) I like the other Star Treks, too, especially if I'm in the mood for the "goofy soap opera in space" that is Voyager. TNG's shiny-happy Roddenberryness kinda bores the piss outta me, though it does have a few really good episodes, and the original show...Hmmm...Well, I both love and hate it. I love Spock, as I said, and I also love McCoy and all of its secondary characters. The problem is that I hate Kirk. Like, viscerally hate him. Like, I want to punch his face in every time it's on-screen. If he'd just, y'know, been eaten by a salt vampire and Spock and everyone else was OK and went off and had cool space adventures battling giant space-going amoebas and shit, I'd be totally happy and that's what fanfic's for *cough*, but since Kirk doesn't get eaten by a salt vampire...well...

Who’d You Most Like to Have Lunch With? @holleyberry :) Dude, we should totally hook up (No, not THAT way!) when I'm in SoCal next. Which won't be soon if I have my way, but when I am there....

[oliverpdaniel]

Advent of Code 2021: Reflection on Days 6-10

A pretty interesting group of problems, again laying down some of the groundwork for classic AoC problems (and competitive-programming concepts in general). They do a great job introducing new players to some of the classic problem-to-solution translations: what phrases imply certain algorithms, data structures, etc. Here are my thoughts:

Day 6 One of the metrics my roommate and I have come up with for the difficulty of a given problem is the number of sittings it takes to complete. This was my first two-sitting problem: after the naive simulation proved too much for my poor CPU to handle, even after letting it run while I brewed my pre-class coffee, I had to use my subway ride to think up a solution. And just as I stepped onto the train, it hit me -- circular lists. Why is it that whenever an aquatic-animal-themed AoC problem resists brute-forcing, the answer is always circular lists!?

Anyway, a little bit of simple list arithmetic later, I have a solution that runs even P2 in pseudo-instant time. Looking on the subreddit for what others did, especially to solve the googol challenge, I was shocked to see people using powers of adjacency matrices. Abstract computer science concepts!? In my Advent of Code!?

Day 7 A fun one, and the first math-category problem of the year. This day is a particularly great case study in the importance of good computer-science vocabulary fpr solving problems. In P2, for example, it may seem like a for-loop is the only way to summatively add the crabs' fuel cost but, of course, knowing Gauss' famous formula for the triangular numbers made the day a snap. Unfortunately, I'm never going to beat my roommate for speed as long as I'm writing Python, because the bastard has access to the deep magics, but I had some fun trying to shave off microseconds where I could:

small brain: dividing each individual triangular number by 2 bc that's the formula big brain: only dividing the whole sum of fuel by 2 for each hypothesis galaxy brain: finding the minimum fuel and then dividing the answer by 2 just before printing

Day 8 RTFI, Oliver. And maybe GTFTB (Go.. To Bed), Oliver, and don't try to solve problems while:

a) intoxicated;

b) sleep-deprived after grinding multiple final assignments all week; and

c) still thinking about said assignments, which you put off doing to write silly little programs.

Another two-seater. I just know that there's a beautiful, intelligent solution to instantly decode which light segment is which; but, as my roommate pointed out, 7 segments is small enough that you can just brute-force every possible permutation. (I, myself, am beautiful and intelligent; just my solution isn't.) As a result, though, this is my first problem of the year to take more than a second to run.

It also helps not to have a f*cking typo in your list of actual segments, before you spend an hour scratching your head wondering why none of the decodings seem to work.

Day 9 If I ever become one of those cool kids who makes his own AOC toolkit, replete with commonly-used tools and maybe a cronjob or two to automatically download my inputs at midnight, this would be the first tool on my belt:

def _neighbours(G, r, c): for dy, dx in [(-1, 0), (1, 0), (0, -1), (0, 1)]: if not 0 <= (y:= r + dy) < H: continue elif not 0 <= (x := c + dx) < W: continue yield G[y][x]

(well, that or the eight-neighbour variant, which I used – to surprising sucess – in P1. Whether a coincidence or an intentional move by the input generator, RTFI!) Eric Wastl seems to love cellular-automaton- or convolution-based questions, where the properties of one item (cell) in a grid is affected by the simultaneous properties of its adjacent neighbours.

This problem was actually slightly different than those, being a flood fill question instead, which means that the second thing I add to my toolkit would be a recursive traversal method like DFS.

Although I sometimes chuckle at the innocence of people in the subreddit posting "I'm new to programming but my input is DEFINITELY wrong!!! My solution works on the test, so CLEARLY there's a bug on your end!", this is the first time in a while I have to stick my nose up slightly at the problem statement itself:

A basin is all locations that eventually flow downward...

Based on this description, in combination with the fact that all examples have smoke flowing "downward" to a tile with a height one less than the tile it started on, I initially thought that smoke could only flow that way (i.e., if two tiles differed in height by exactly one). It took me semi-frustratedly breaking my rule by opening the subreddit and watching a few visualizations to understand what I was doing wrong. Luckily, with the way I had organized my code, it only took changing one quick line, and didn't affect performance practically at all, but I still think my objection to the problem statement's clarity stands. I think Eric could have specified what "downward" meant a little better, which would have made Parts 1 and 2 just a little bit easier to grok.

Day 10 My toxic trait is not listening to myself, apparently. Once again, I did a problem at midnight while slightly intoxicated, which was not a smart move, making for my third two-sitting problem.

I'm currently having a love affair with the unexpected speedup of using generators instead of lists, which resulted in a pretty cute P1 solution: not even bothering to get incorrect characters by line, I simply issued a stream of the first incorrect character per line, then summed them up using a score dictionary.

Part 2 is what took me until the morning to solve, and also which took me realizing I need to RTFI!!!! – I was trying to analyze the incorrect lines, not the incomplete (i.e., remaining) lines. Aaaaaargh!

Anyway, once I had that figured out, the solution is pretty straightforward, and I imagine that most solvers who aren't first-time programmers probably used a relatively similar solution to mine. I wonder if anyone solved theirs using Vim macros or similar, along with an auto-bracket extension. That would be pretty funny.

See you in 4!

[garbageismydomain]

Shrouded in Light

Well, here we are again with a story for @huxloween. We’re 18 in and I’m still going strong. I’m quite proud of myself. Anyway, here is another one of those “visions of the future” fics. I was actually nice today.

Armitage wandered out in the back fields of the academy in a daze. His father had just gotten finished telling him what a worthless child he was. It was not the first time nor would it be the last. Sloane had been able to stymie the physical abuse but his father had a way of getting under your skin. He didn’t yell, yelling would call attention to them. Instead he condescended to Armitage. Speaking to him as if he were too stupid to even write his own name. No matter how good Armitage got at anything his father would always be the same. It was disheartening. Neither Sloane nor the children under his command would ever be able to take away that sting.

Armitage reached the “lake” in the fields. It wasn’t a lake in the real sense; it was a drainage ditch that didn’t drain. Hux sat beside the tepid water, watching the sun fall below the horizon. He wasn’t particularly relaxed here but being away from the noise of other people gave him a moment to reorient himself. He closed his eyes and laid back in the grass.

Armitage wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep but he was awoken by the sound of splashing and then the sound of running. He bolted up grabbing for his boot knife. Instantly aware he took stock of his surroundings. There was no sign that anyone from the academy had come looking for him but as he glanced around he noticed something odd.

The planet had a specific type of aquatic fungus that glowed an eerie green color at night. Part of the reason Hux liked this specific drainage ditch was because it was absolutely over run with colonies of it. When he looked at the growing drainage ditch he noticed that there was a trail leading out of the water and into the woods just beyond the academy line. Hux’s higher logic was telling him to go back inside, but some of the little bit of wonder and interest hadn’t been beaten out of him and that part was telling him to follow the trail. Hux glanced back at the academy for a moment, trying to convince his body to turn around and go back inside, but after a moment he found himself running along the trail of glowing slime into the darkness.

The path whatever had come out of the water had taken through the forest was wild. It was almost as if it was leaving a trail for him to follow. Again, the side of Armitage that held only reason and practicality told him that this was highly unusual and maybe dangerous, but Armitage ran on.

The trail finally brought him to a cave that Armitage was familiar with. On occasion the cadets would go out on training missions in these woods. He had discovered this cave when he was scouting out the forest and instead of letting the rest of the boys know he kept it to himself. The cave was his secret, the other boys would have certainly told his father and his father would have certainly had it destroyed. Not only to spite Armitage, although that would definitely be a benefit, but because the walls of the cave were absolutely covered in ancient art. Hux remembered looking at the walls with amazement. So many scenes of battles forgotten by history, thousands of dead races were painted here. If Armitage were to be asked in the proper mood he may even use the word “beautiful” to describe it.

He stepped into the cave and let out a breath he hadn’t noticed he had been holding. It was even more magnificent at night. The fungus grew here as well, but as opposed to the green color alone it glimmered in every shade that Armitage had ever seen. The cudgels that Armitage had first percieved as made of wood were now glowing in every imaginable color. They were lightsabers. These were force users thousands of years ago. Armitage just stood in the middle of the cave, mouth agape. That was until he heard a cough.

Armitage spun on his heel brandishing his knife. In the darkness he perceived a small hunched figure.

“Identify yourself,” Hux hissed at the figure cloaked in darkness. The thing laughed.

“I am the rightful inhabitant of this cave young one,” the voice spoke, light and melodious. “I should be the one asking you to identify yourself.”

The figure shuffled forward a bit and there was a click. Armitage prepared himself to flee but after a moment a small lantern began to glow at the feet of the other in the cave. When Armitage’s eyes adjusted he took in the figure.

The other was alien, and possibly female based on the voice. She was immensely short, and even looking at her sitting Armitage could tell she would barely come up past his hip if she were to stand. More to the point however was that the creature’s eyes were milky white and without pupils.

“Yes Armitage Hux, I am blind and I am female,” she chuckled, somehow staring right at him with her sightless eyes. She gestured to a small pillow across from where she sat. “Please, sit. You are a guest.”

Armitage hesitated for a moment. Again the logical side of his brain was telling him to turn back now. This was all too strange. But still, he found his body moving against logic and he sat down.

“What would a blind creature want with a cave filled with art?” Armitage asked, trying to get comfortable. The pillow was certainly more pleasant than the rock floor, but it was still lumpy and odd. The creature laughed and smiled at him with her mouth full of gaps and rotted teeth.

“I wasn’t always blind,” she answered, waving a hand. A fire sprung up in a small pit where Hux had been standing only a few moments before. With another gesture she summoned a kettle and hook to hang over the fire.

“How are you doing that?” Hux gasped, watching the fire leap and kettle float of its own free will. He turned back to the stooping alien.

“The Force, young one. The same way I knew your name, the same way I could hear your wonder.” She smiled. “Same as I saw that you would end up here tonight.”

“I heard the Force is just trickery for people who believe in magic over science,” Hux huffed. That is what his father insisted anyway.

“Your father is a fool,” she wheezed. ��But you know that already. It’s interesting that you don’t believe in the Force young one, I feel it around you.”

“Don’t the mystics say that the Force flows through all living beings?” Hux asked.

“Yes, of course. The Force engulfs the galaxy even out here in the Unknown Regions. But no child,” she said, leaning forward as if she were examining him closely with her blind eyes. “You, there is something that has wrapped itself around you like a shroud.”

Hux wiggled uncomfortably. The idea that something was attached to him that he had no control over was unsettling.  

“I can’t explain it any better than you are entwined with a destiny that will have you surrounded by the Force.” The crone rubbed her chin for a moment and then her face cracked into a smile. “Ah, I know just the thing.” She waved her hand again and a mug floated out of a small box on the ground. It floated to the now boiling kettle and filled itself with water. The mug then floated over to a cabinet where a bottle of mysterious herbs tipped itself into the water. It settled on the cabinet.

“Armitage Hux, boy in the shroud,” she said, reaching into a small bag at her side and producing a small thermos. “I will give you an opportunity that very few ever receive.” She handed the thermos to him. “You may fill the thermos with the tea that is brewing there before you leave. Drink it before you go to sleep tonight. You will see the shroud and what it ties you too.”

“You mean you are allowing me to see my future?” he asked, turning the thermos around in his hands.

“Yes.” She smiled at him. “It is your choice. You may go without if you wish, but this is a rare opportunity. The tea is ready, Armitage.”She spoke, gesturing at the cup.

When Hux looked over he heard the lantern shut off and a sound like the wind whipping through the cave. He turned back. Where the old alien had been sitting was just a pile of old pillows. The fire was still burning, but gradually getting lower. He stood and went to the steaming mug. For a moment he contemplated living without foresight. But what was this shroud? He poured the steaming liquid into the thermos and screwed it shut.

Armitage Hux had only one true luxury here, and that was that he did not share a bunk. In prior years the cadets had needed to share quarters, but in their current location there were enough small rooms for each cadet to have a private room. Never before had Hux been more thankful for that. He climbed into bed in his pajamas, opening the thermos. The smell that wafted out was not unpleasant. It was something like fresh melons with something spicy behind it. It reminded him vaguely of a tea from a long forgotten memory. A woman with red hair, drinking spicy tea. He shook the thought away and contemplated the drink once more.

“Well, bottoms up,” he said to himself, taking a mouthful of the liquid. For a moment he didn’t taste anything, but suddenly his mouth was tingling like he’d rolled in thorn bushes. He swallowed reflexively and breathed hard. His whole mouth was numb and he slowly felt the sensation creep down his throat. For a moment his mind wandered to the thought that the witch had poisoned him, but even as he grasped at the thought he found himself falling backwards into a great black chasm.

Instead of landing hard on the ground he found himself suddenly cradled by arms as if he were a bride. He looked up and found that looking at him was a black and silver mask, dented and worn, covered with soot. The air around them was filled with embers and the figure’s long flowing robes flew out behind them. The creature carrying him was breathing hard as if he was running.

“Hang on, General,” the figure whispered through the vocoder in the mask. Hux blinked and found himself in another vision.

He was on the deck of a great starship, the vastness of space visible before him through the transparisteel window. He glanced to his side and saw the same figure that had been running with him in his arms. He was staring out at the stars too, or so he could only assume with the mask. He felt the figure squeeze his hand and blinked. There he was in another vision.

A man was standing over him now. His face was bisected by a scar that was long healed, and he had a towel draped around his waist. His hair was wet as if he had just showered with real water, and his pale skin glistened in the early morning light.

“Armitage, it’s time to get ready. Your subjects are waiting,” the man said, a faint smile playing across his lips. Armitage blinked one last time. And he was in yet another vision.

He was sitting on a dais staring out at a sea of beings. Many species all crowded in a large town square. He glanced to one side, seeing the man with the bisected face sitting in a royal red robe with his face painted like ancient Nabooian royalty and a glance to the other allowed him to catch his reflection in the chrome armor of a storm trooper. He himself was also in a luxurious robe, this one as white as the mood, and with a simple circlet on his head. An emperor. He blinked and it was all gone.

The next he knew he bolted out of bed and threw up onto the floor. The visions continued to run through his mind as he dry heaved over the side of his cot. He breathed slowly, feeling the nausea pass. He grabbed a tissue from a box on his side table and dabbed at his mouth and nose. He cleaned  up his sick and lied back down to sleep. When he awoke in the morning he could still feel the man squeezing his hand.

[enddaysengine]

Non-Fiction Resources for Chronicles of Darkness by Gameline

June 6th Update: It seems that Tumblr has a limit to how many links you can put in one post. As a result, I’ve moved the resources for Dark Eras, as well as the links organized by topic, to a separate post that you can find at this link. 

*************

Much like I did for Eberron, I’m putting together some links to non-fiction materials you could use for Chronicles of Darkness. Since CofD is set in a dark mirror of our world, there are a lot of materials that could go in this post, but I will try to be selective. While I am keeping Chronicles in mind while I do this, you could use these links for any other RPG that is set on historical Earth (I’m looking at you, Call of Cthulhu!) Some links may show up more than once if they fit in multiple categories.

This post is very much a work in progress and probably will never be complete because of the broad availability of applicable materials. If you know of a resource that you don’t see on my list, please feel free to reblog/reply/DM me to say what the resource is and why it should be included on the list. I’ll do my best to add it in.

General Websites

Crash Course: It’s free, it’s on Youtube, and it’s in a ten-minute episodic format. 

Coursera: Coursera is a website where university level classes are available for free. You can also get certifications from Coursera for a fee so you can build your resume while planning your next chronicle. 

Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History: Dan loves historical “What if?” moments, and with good reason. If you want to hear the most badass historical stories, examine how drugs, alcohol, and human stupidity impacted history, or get a sense of what it was like to live through the most brutal historical eras, this is the place for you.

edX: Another excellent site with free courses that you can upgrade for a certificate. A good place to look for courses in the humanities and religion. 

Great Course/Great Courses Plus: GC and GC+ are not free services, but they have such an extraordinarily high production value that you can understand why. History, science, culinary theory, economics, anything you can think of is covered in the Great Courses catalogue. Great Courses Plus is their streaming service, which at $15/month for an annual subscription is a killer deal.

Google Books/Google Scholar: My first goto for research of any kind, and the first place I advise my students to begin their research. Seriously, I’ve written papers, then had them published just using these two. Use them. 

JSTOR: If you have operated in any kind of academic circle for the last two and a half decades, you know JSTOR. Full access is tough to come by unless you are currently enrolled in a university, but you can still sign up for free to get access to journals on topics you just can’t find anywhere else (like the Mutapa Empire). Sign up with multiple users if you have to. It works. Trust me. 

Open Yale Courses: University classes, taped lectures, and course materials, all from one of the best educational institution in the world. Take advantage of them. 

The Vault: Declassified FBI documents. A lot more of them involve the paranormal than you may expect. An excellent source of inspiration both for things that actually happened or that people think happened. 

Writing with Colour: The best place to go to check yourself for unintentionally problematic depictions of POC in your games. Also a great read if you are looking for details and cultural beats for NPCs you don’t share a background with. They are awesome and you’d be surprised how many chronicle ideas you can get just by binging their archive. 

******************

Mortal Chronicles

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

Maya to Aztec - Ancient Mesoamerica Revealed: Awesome resource if you are planning to run a Skinchangers game using the Aztec Dark Era. 

Medical School for Everyone - Pediatric Grand Rounds: A good place to look for ideas for Innocents 

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Beast the Primordial

General

Ancient Marine Reptiles: Yeah, I know, Beast is supposed to be about dragons and monsters, but I guarantee you that plenty of ancient reptiles are also stalking the Primordial Dream. Plus, aquatic reptiles are awesome and don’t get enough face time with the public, so you might want to think about your next Beast being one. 

Dino 101: The ultimate course about Dinosaurs. Very beastly. 

Early Vertebrate Evolution: What’s so scary about ancient fish, you ask? Only razor jaws and bone for skin. 

Secrets to Sleep Science

Theropod Dinosaurs and the Origins of Birds: At five lessons long, this course is pretty short, and the content matter is fascinating (says the biology teacher).

Dark Eras

African-American History: From Emancipation to the Present

The Civil War and Reconstruction Eras

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Signature Settings

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Mountains 101: If you are going to visit Kathmandu, you better be thinking about how mountains will impact your Chronicle!

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Changeling the Lost

General

Secrets to Sleep Science

Successful Negotiation - Essential Strategies and Skills: A very, very Changeling course. 

Dark Eras

Atlas Historique de Paris: I can’t read French, but I am assured by people who do that this is an excellent resource. 

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

Underground Atlas of Paris

Signature Settings

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Demon the Descent 

General

Bitcoin and Cryptocurrency Technologies

Crash Course Computer Science 

Crash Course Games

Digital Signal Processing

Internet History, Technology, and Security

Inventions That Changed the World

Robotics - Ariel Robotics

Successful Negotiation - Essential Strategies and Skills: Also a very, very Demon course. 

Dark Eras

Living in the French Revolution and the Age of Napoleon

Maya to Aztec - Ancient Mesoamerica Revealed

Ottoman Empire

Signature Settings

Cultural Competence - Aboriginal Sydney

A History of Hitler’s Empire

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Hollywood: History, Industry, Art

Ottoman Empire

World War II - A Military and Social History

Geist the Sin-Eater

General

Death: Seriously, that’s all the course is called. It’s Yale, its good, the name is just to the point. 

Soul Beliefs 1 - Historical Foundations

Soul Beliefs 2 - Belief Systems

Soul Beliefs 3 - How Does It All End?

Dark Eras

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

The Great War

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Indigenous Canada

Signature Settings

The Early Middle Ages (284-1000)

History of the United States 2nd Edition

World War II - A Military and Social History

Hunter the Vigil

General

Introduction to Forensics

Aegis Kai Doru

Archaeology - An Introduction to the World’s Greatest Sites

Introduction to Ancient Greek History

Ahl al-Jabal (Source)

Ismaili Gnosis: Okay, breaking alphabetical order here, but this one is special. If you have a passing familiarity with Islam, you may have had the initial thought that the write-up of Ahl al-Jabal doesn’t look like anything you’ve seen before. That’s because Ahl al-Jabal are Nizari Ismaili Shiites and trust me when I say it is extremely accurate (minus the vampire hunting). Ismaili Gnosis is an excellent source for current events, history, and particularly metaphysics as it applies to Ismailis. 

Assassin Legends: The Assassin State of the Crusades is legendary, but what most people know about them is just that: legend. If you are using the Ahl al-Jabal, either in historical or modern chronicles, let Farhad Daftary bust the myths about the Nizari State for you. This link only gives you a preview on Google Books, so some pages will be missing, but it is still worth a read. 

Ama-San (Source) 

Oceanography- Exploring Earth’s Final Wilderness

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History 

Ascending Ones

History of Ancient Egypt

Ashwood Abbey

Wine Tasting - Sensory Techniques for Wine Analysis: Are you really part of the Abbey if you aren’t a wine connoisseur? 

Ave Minerva (Source)

The History of Rome Podcast 

Azusa Miko (Source)

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History 

Barrett Commission (Source)

Crash Course US Government & Politics 

The Bear Lodge (Source) 

Mountains 101

Bijin (Source)

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History 

The Cainite Heresy (Source)

Gnosticism - From Nag Hammadi to the Gospel of Judas

Lost Christianities 

Cheiron Group

Critical Business Skills for Success

Economic History of the World Since 1400

Division Six (Source)

Crash Course US Government & Politics: Division Six may not actually be a part of the US Government, but they sure think they are, so understanding how they think they fit in isn’t a bad idea. 

The Faithful of Shulpae (Source)

The Ancient Near East - History, Society, and Economy

Habibti Ma  (Source)

The United States and the Middle East - 1914 to 9/11

Hototogisu (Source)

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History 

The Hunt Club (Source)

Forensic History

Illuminated Brotherhood (Source)

Addiction and the Brain

The Addictive Brain

Drugs and the Brain

Keepers of the Source (Source)

Understanding the Mysteries of Human Behaviour

Keepers of the Weave (Source)

Indigenous Canada 

Knights of Saint Adrian (Source)

Why Evil Exists

Knights of Saint George (Source)

The History of Christianity

Les Mysteres (Source)

Crash Course Mythology 

Cultural Literacy for Religion

Great Mythologies of the World

Les Voyageurs (Source)

Indigenous Canada 

The Long Night

The Apocolypse - Controversies and Meanings in Western History

The History of Christianity

Lost Christianities 

The Loyalists of Thule

A History of Hitler’s Empire

World War II - A Military and Social History

The Lucifuge

Why Evil Exists

Maiden’s Blood Sisterhood (Source)

How to Become a Superstar Student

The Modern Political Tradition

Malleus Maleficarum

The History of Christianity

Lost Christianities 

Why Evil Exists

The Merrick Institute (Source)

Medical School for Everyone - Pediatric Grand Rounds 

Secrets to Sleep Science

Network Zero

Internet History, Technology, and Security

Night Watch (Source)

Why Evil Exists

Null Mysteriis

Animal Behaviour

Introduction to Forensics

Mountains 101 

Otodo (Source)

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History 

Why Evil Exists

The Promethean Brotherhood  (Source)

Decoding the Secrets of Egyptian Hieroglyphs

Greek 101

Latin 101

Miracles of Human Language - An Introduction to Linguistics 

The Story of Human Language

Protectors of the Light (Source)

Indigenous Canada 

The Reckoning (Source)

Heroes and Legends - The Most Influential Characters in Literature

The Scarlet Watch (Source)

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Task Force VALKYRIE

Crash Course US Government & Politics 

History of the United States 2nd Edition

World War II - A Military and Social History

Talbot Group (Source)

Psychological First Aid

The Union

Cities Are Back in Town - Urban Sociology

Utopia Now (Source)

Great Works of Utopian and Dystopian Literature

Vanguard Serial Crimes Unit (Source) 

Introduction to Forensics

The Vault: The FBI’s online archive of popular declassified documents. Lots of weird stuff, and the perfect source of inspiration for VSCU.

Yuri’s Group (Source)

De-Mystifying Mindfullness

Healing with the Arts

How Music Can Change Your Life

Dark Eras

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of Ancient Egypt

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Indigenous Canada

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Signature Settings

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Mage the Awakening

General

Addiction and the Brain: Mage 2e’s theme is “Addicted to Mysteries.” Understanding that addiction is a good place to start. 

The Addictive Brain

Ancient Philosophy - Aristotle & His Successors

Ancient Philosophy - Plato & His Predecessors: If there is one course on philosophy you take for Mage, it should probably be this one. At four lessons, this is a pretty quick one to complete. 

Gnosticism - From Nag Hammadi to the Gospel of Judas

Magic in the Middle Ages

Dark Eras

Great Zimbabwe in Historical Archaeology

History of Ancient Egypt

Introduction to Ancient Greek History

Politics and Long-Distance Trade in the Mwene Mutapa Empire

World War II - A Military and Social History

Signature Settings

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Hollywood: History, Industry, Art

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Mummy the Curse

General

Archaeology - An Introduction to the World’s Greatest Sites: Let’s go find some Relics!

History of Ancient Egypt

Introduction Ancient Egypt and Its Civilisation

Soul Beliefs 1 - Historical Foundations

Soul Beliefs 2 - Belief Systems

Soul Beliefs 3 - How Does It All End?

Dark Eras

The Early Middle Ages (284-1000)

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

The Great War

Great Zimbabwe in Historical Archaeology

Ottoman Empire

Politics and Long-Distance Trade in the Mwene Mutapa Empire

Signature Settings

The American Revolution

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Promethean the Created

General

Introduction to the Biology of Cancer

Understanding Cancer Metastasis

Dark Eras

African-American History: From Emancipation to the Present

Epidemics in Western Society since 1600

Signature Settings

Antarctica: From Geology to Human History

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

National Geographic Polar Explorations: Follow the steps of Doctor Frankenstein. 

World War II - A Military and Social History

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Werewolf the Forsaken

General

Animal Behaviour

Dark Eras

African-American History: From Emancipation to the Present

The Ancient Near East - History, Society, and Economy

Cybele: The Great Mother of the Augustan Order

The Great War

Hardcore History - Punic Nightmares

The Early Middle Ages (284-1000)

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Signature Settings

The Civil War and Reconstruction Eras

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Mountains 101: An awesome course in general, but especially useful for Werewolf’s signature setting, the Colorado Rockies. 

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

War for the Greater Middle East

Vampire the Requiem

General

Clans

Animal Behaviour

History of Ancient Egypt

Introduction Ancient Egypt and Its Civilisation

Carthian Movement

Circle of the Crone

Magic in the Middle Ages

Invictus

Lancea et Sanctum

Magic in the Middle Ages

Ordo Dracul

Ottoman Empire

Dark Eras

African-American History: From Emancipation to the Present

The Civil War and Reconstruction Eras

The Early Middle Ages (284-1000)

Epidemics in Western Society since 1600

The Great War

Living in the French Revolution and the Age of Napoleon

Ottoman Empire

Digital Tour of Tutor London

Signature Settings

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Introduction to Ancient Greek History

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

[gethealthy18-blog]

Green Superfood Powder: Worth It? (+ How to Find a Good One)

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/green-superfood-powder-worth-it-how-to-find-a-good-one/

Green Superfood Powder: Worth It? (+ How to Find a Good One)

You can’t out-supplement a poor diet (or poor sleep or high stress either). But even with a perfect diet and great sleep, it is still possible to experience nutrient deficiencies because modern foods can be deficient in certain essential nutrients. To ensure we get enough, I make homemade herbal teas (packed with micronutrients) and rotate various green superfood powders.

What Is a Green Superfood Powder?

In short, a green superfood powder contain many servings of vegetables and superfoods in a scoop of water-soluble powder. In addition to veggies and superfoods, the powder may also contain other health-supporting ingredients like probiotics and immune-supporting herbs.

Why Greens Supplement?

An ancestral and whole-foods diet may be a significant step up from the Standard American Diet that has a lot of grains, vegetable oil, and processed ingredients. However, there are many reasons even the seemingly healthy diet alone might still not provide enough micronutrients and antioxidants.

Depleted Soil with Less Minerals and Good Bacteria

Over the last 100 years, industrial farming has depleted the most nutritious topsoil from important minerals and beneficial soil bacteria that would grow the healthiest foods. As a result, the vegetables in our food supplies also have less mineral density. The reduction of minerals in our foods, as well as the fertilizers and pesticides, may be a contributor to diseases of civilization.

Reduced Food Diversity and Wild Varieties

On Chris Kresser’s podcast, Dr. Thomas Cowan, MD said that healthy hunter-gatherer humans ate a much wider variety of vegetables than we do today — up to 20 species per day and 100 species throughout the year! The supermarket vegetables we normally eat have been bred to have more uniform shapes and sizes, with higher sugar content and less bitterness, which also means less micronutrients and phytonutrients than the wild vegetables.

Think about it — is your family consuming 20 different types of vegetables (or herbs) per day? Our family usually hits that mark, but only through using herbal and adaptogenic teas and green powders.

Reduced Nutrient Density in Vegetables

Grocery store veggies may have been harvested weeks before and traveled thousands of miles to reach your table. This means that they don’t have the nutrient density of a freshly harvested vegetable at the peak of its growth.

Modern Lifestyle Depletes Vitamins and Minerals

The modern lifestyle, with chronic stressors and pollutions all around us, increases our needs for micronutrients. We need more B vitamins and magnesium to deal with stress. We also need more B vitamins, selenium, and antioxidants to remove the chemicals that we are exposed to.

In the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the world leading nutrition researcher Dr. Bruce Ames wrote that low micronutrient status can lead to metabolic disruption, mitochondrial decay, cellular aging, and increased DNA mutation. These can lead to fatigue, hormone imbalances, poor immune function, weight gain, and increased risks of cancer and neurodegenerative diseases.

Therefore, supplementation with a multivitamin and mineral is a recommended as a cost-effective way to prevent nutrient deficiencies.

Greens Powder vs. Vitamins

As a general rule, it is better to get micronutrients from whole foods than from synthetic or isolated vitamins unless there is an underlying issue or if working with a doctor.

First, nutrients that are present together in whole food sources often work in synergy. Vitamin C and bioflavonoids in fruits or vitamins A and D in egg yolks, cod liver oil, and butter work together for better absorption. Second, micronutrients in whole foods are generally more bioavailable than the synthetic forms. Third, there are still important nutrients and phytochemicals in plants that we have yet to discover.

Because a greens supplement provides vitamins from nutrient-dense whole food sources, it is a great way to ensure that you get sufficient amounts of micronutrients and antioxidants. The soil may be depleted from minerals, but the sea is not. Therefore, you want to get a greens supplement that includes some marine sources of nutrients.

Most vitamins, especially B vitamins, are stimulants. Many people find B vitamins so stimulating that it causes heart palpitations and anxiety. Whereas, vitamins from whole food sources, with the natural nutrient forms and synergies, are less likely to cause this problem. You may have eaten foods high in B vitamins like vegetables or liver without the heart palpitations. Since it’s also a whole food, greens powder can help with fatigue and hormone balance without the excess stimulation.

Harmful Ingredients in Some Green Powders

There are a LOT of greens powders out there, but not all are created equal. In general, there are some important things to watch out for when choosing a powder.

Hidden Sweeteners, Gums, and Artificial Colors

Vegetables, especially the more nutrient-dense ones, are good for you. Unfortunately, it’s hard to make vegetables taste good, especially when you try to condense as many as 12 servings of vegetable into a single scoop.

In order to make the green powders taste palatable, many manufacturers use potentially harmful ingredients, such as:

artificial sweeteners

sugar

emulsifiers or thickeners to maintain texture for mouthfeel

artificial colors

non-organic or GMO ingredients

Watch out for these and avoid powders (or anything) that contains them.

Harsh Processing

Creating a greens superfood powder is technologically difficult because many vitamins and phytochemicals are very sensitive to heat, light, and certain forms of chemical processing. The vegetables in the greens powder have to be gently freeze-dried into water-soluble powders in order to preserve the nutrients. Whereas, in order to make use of single-celled algae, the manufacturer may need to harshly crack the cell walls of these algae to make nutrients inside the cells available.

Therefore, you want to make sure that you purchase the greens powder from a reputable company that understands the biology of the superfoods they include in their products and confirm the presence of intact nutrients in the final products. (See the ones I’ve tested and like below.)

Types of Greens & Their Benefits

Not all greens are created equal either! The best greens powder for you will depend on what you are looking for in your greens. Many are a good source of micronutrients, but there is a lot of difference in the type and what they do in the body. These all get lumped in as a “green superfood powder” though they have some key differences:

Marine Sources

Marine (water based) sources of greens include spirulina and chlorella. (And phytoplankton, though that is a different type and is not powdered). These types of green powders are very nutrient dense and often used supplementally for their benefits.

Spirulina, for instance, contains amino acids, calcium, potassium, b-vitamins, and iron. Chlorella is a great source of protein, magnesium, B-vitamins and zinc.

Marine powders are available on their own, but they don’t taste great. I prefer them in combination powders like this Aquatic Greens Blend or in Energy Bits (small caplets of chlorella and spirulina that can be taken as a snack or to boost nutrients).

Moringa Leaf

Moringa has an excellent nutrient profile and it is often added to greens powders for this reason. It can be consumed alone or in tea form, but I prefer to mix it into green drinks.

Grasses (Alfalfa, Wheat, Barley)

The traditional “green powders” are what most people think when they think of greens. Alfalfa, wheatgrass, and barley grass contain dietary fiber, vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin K, thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, vitamin B6, pantothenic acid, iron, zinc, copper, manganese and selenium. Alfalfa is rich in vitamin K, zinc, copper, magnesium and vitamin C.

Worried about gluten? I asked world-renowned expert on gluten sensitivity, Dr. Tom O’Bryan, if wheatgrass contains gluten and is a concern. He explained that in the first 11 days of growth, it does not and is considered safe. He even consumes wheatgrass if he can verify it is less than 11 days old. (At 11 days, the plant starts to get the traditional proteins found in wheat and is problematic.)

Most green powders do not list the age of the wheatgrass, so those with celiac disease or gluten intolerance should probably err on the side of caution and avoid. This without severe issues who avoid refined grains will likely do fine with wheat grass powders.

I’ve tried and liked this three grass blend.

Fermented Greens (Like Kale)

These greens are newer to the market in powdered form and I’m enjoying them. Of course, people have been fermenting vegetables for ages, but the powdered form provides a unique benefit of being shelf stable, easy to travel with, and more nutrient dense than traditional greens. Just like fermented vegetables like sauerkraut, these have a higher nutrient availability and increased probiotics. I’ve been using fermented kale and while it has a strong taste, I really like it.

Green Superfood Powder Blends

These are my favorite because they pack the nutritional punch of some or all of the above greens. They also contain a wider variety of micronutrients so they provide a bigger nutritional punch in a single serving. Blends include powders like Organic Greens Superfood Blend and Organic Traditions Superfood Greens with Turmeric in the list below.

Green Superfood Powder Facts and Myths

It’s easy to get excited and want to start drinking all the green powders, but first, we must understand some of the facts and myths surrounding superfood green powders.

They Can Replace Multivitamins (Myth)

Greens are very nutrient dense but they don’t contain a complete array of vitamins and minerals. Supplementing with only greens or eating too high of a concentration can actually lead to imbalances of other nutrients. Since most of us aren’t getting enough greens to begin with, they’re a good thing to add, but they don’t replace a healthy diet or a well-rounded multi.

It Can Make the Body More Alkaline (Fact and Myth)

The theory goes that our body wants to be more alkaline but foods like meat and dairy are acidic and make us acidic. Therefore, proponents of this theory suggest eating foods that are alkaline in nature, especially veggies and greens to alkalize the body.

I don’t buy into this theory and Chris Kresser has an in-depth post that explains the scientific flaws in this theory if you’re interested. The basic explanation is this — foods can change urine pH, and vegetables and greens do make the urine more alkaline. They don’t seem to change the blood pH and the body naturally maintains a blood pH of around 7.4 unless there is a serious medical issue.

Bottom line: vegetables and greens are beneficial for many reasons and we should all be consuming them, but not to alkalize our blood.

Good Source of Micronutrients (Fact)

Greens are a great source of a variety of nutrients and micronutrients. Since many of us aren’t getting enough of these, greens powders can be a good way to get small amounts of a variety of nutrients in a single serving.

High in Antioxidants and ORAC Score (Fact-ish)

Greens do naturally contain a lot of antioxidants and have a high ORAC score. But the ORAC score should not be part of our purchasing decision. The USDA recently removed ORAC score as a metric in its database after recent research found that it isn’t as relevant as once thought and was mostly used in shady marketing.

The Green Superfood Powders I Use

I’ve experimented with dozens of these over the years and currently have and rotate:

NOTE: If you want to try any of the Perfect Supplements, use the code wellnessmama10 to save 10%. You also get discounts of 25-30% for buying more than one supplement (you can mix and match) and you can stack the discount. Here’s the link to grab the discount.

What’s your experience with green superfood powder supplements? Please share in the comments!

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/124151/greens-powder/