#what if I can't wait until tomorrow?
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Month 5, day 9
Tea scene is done!
Do you know what's unfortunate? I made tea in a 3D modeling and animation software, and in doing so, I drank the last of the tea in the house )':
#the great artscapade of 2024#art#my art#blender#blender render#blender 3d#eevee render#*pokes her empty tea cup* )':#my accomplishments mock me with my own thirst#I probably shouldn't be too upset tho#it was just Arizona sweet tea#but it was exactly what I wanted to drink and now it's all gone and I'll never have any more until the next time I buy groceries )':#what if I can't wait until tomorrow?#surely I shall perish of thirst by then#woe is me )':#*ignores all the other things to drink in the house like water and milk and hot tea that she'd need to make but it's still an OPTION*#I don't even have that delightful strawberry kiwi juice I found to tide me over#I demolished that while I was sick lol#gotta get more of that it was so good#and no sugar added! 100% juice! it was HEALTHY!!!
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MOTHERFUCKERS I AM GOING TO SURVIVE THE WEEK FROM HELL 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
#officially past the half way point in exams#got rejected from the job i interviewed for on Tuesday which is a pain because ive wasted so much revision time on job applications#hmmmm#but i have my 5th exam of the week tomorrow and thank fod#its the easiest of the lot because im so tired#then 3 days to prepare for an exam on Tuesday which could be a bit of a disaster tbh but that's what these three days are for#and then nearly 2 weeks until the nightmare exam from hell which i hate but have time to sort out hopefully#oh my god i can't wait for this to be over#im at that point in a Mentor Pilot video where he goes 'and now things are going to start happening really quickly'#(about the critical moment in a plane crash where things often go wrong/ get out of control very quickly)#but the plane is still in the air i still getting it done#not fantastically but its getting done all the same#rambles
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#i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that i've had in my calendar for 2 months (almost 3)#and because i'm me i have been thinking and stressing about it for those 2 months (almost 3)#tomorrow is supposed to be over and i'll finally relax (for a bit cause i'll probably have to do blood work etc etc)#and now my mom put into my head that maybe (we don't know she's not sure) MAYBE the doc will have to like check me#and so i will have to remove clothing which i was so not prepeared for and i'm not sure what my reaction will be on the day#because that makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable... and like i get it you're going to the doctor it could happen but also?#i need to at least imagine it for a week i can't be told this THE DAY BEFORE#now i'm freaking the fuck out#and up until today my major anxiety was ''am i gonna ask the doc about starting t? or should i wait until she does the tests i need done#in case she turns out to be very transphobic and i have to drop her?''#like that was my biggest worry now i have like a million more#i hate this i hate my brain and i hate that i can't have ONE THING i need to do IN THE YEAR without going into panic mode for 3mths straigh#my brain is so fucking useless#angel talks#personal
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Sounds like you've got a right bitch of a co-worker based on those post tags lol
ajfksdljf TT0TT Oh that was like my 3rd version of a post I made. I had to talk myself down and censor myself akljsdflkfa orz
But yes he really is. I cannot stress it enough that everyone hates his guts and he's created such a hostile work environment.
#silly asks#the junpei coworker#silly answers#god i hate him so much#he's not the first jackass i've had to work with but god he is the most recent#i should've called HR last night#i literally told him “do NOT fucking finish that sentence or train of thought”#and then he kept ALLUDING to what he wanted to say and i had to keep telling him to stfu#then he hid in the bathroom for 30 min (which pissed me off mORE because it meant he got a free 30 break and was paid for it)#all while i was left alone to wrangle a circus by myself#he was watching anime fyi...cause I could hear it when I had to go to the back room to get stuff#like we had a store meeting and my boss listed a bunch of stuff that needed to be minded#and like HALF of it was directed at junpei (he didn't look at him but WE ALL KNEW)#my boss even confirmed it when everyone else left#he only confirmed it because as soon as they left I turned to him an was like 'when is that mfer getting fired?????!"#my boss wants to fire him but HIS boss says he can't until they find a replacement#the bar is in hell rn#it's so bad that me and my other coworker made a bingo of shit he likes to pull on shift (HE'S THAT CONSISTENT)#*looks at sched* oh thank god I dont need to see him today or tomorrow-#WAIT NO I HAVE TO WORK WITH HIM THE ENTIRE CLOSE FRIDAY NOOOOO FUCK save tme this is gonan suck#i'm kinda hoping he gets “sick” again I'd rather work alone TT0TT#*inhales* it'll be fine it'lle be fine it'll be fine it'll be fine#zen zen centered i am zen...I'll listen to an audio book or video i'll be ok#i'll just ignore him like i've been doing TT0TT#silly vents#vents#irl bs
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alexis just texted me and was like hey I know we see each other tomorrow but I've been overthinking this do u wanna have dinner tomorrow and I was like oh hi.. fkfjfjfdj
#he sent me like so many texts all together#but basically he was like instead of taking u home we go together back to my place#i know it's tuesdays but i promise I'll take u home early unless you don't want to do this which is fine#maybe u thought i was joking last time#i wasnt!#and at that point i was cackling but also dying from a heart attack#so i said yes no let's have dinner tomorrow#and he said he was glad because waiting for until the weekend sucked fkdjdjd#i can't stop thinking about him saying IVE BEEN OVERTHINKING#like WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD#my heart is racing by the way#rose.txt
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ohh fuck feeling feelings and thinking thoughts
#cat's rambles#ow ow ow#yes ik that I'll stop liking this after a while#that's why I'm trying to do as much as I can#it's a wonder I've been like this for what#two three days?#usually lasts shorter#I want to be able to have consistent hobbies but I just. can't#it's so hard for me to stick with something for a while#ow ow ow ow#ugh and I have to wait until tomorrow or Wednesday to start on the curtains please don't fall out of this hobby before that please please#I want to finish these things#my curtains my star chains the butterflies etc#aaaaa why does pretty much everything about me fluctuate#sobs
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Half of the training time is complete with only five more weeks to go until they end! Recently I've been feeling more energized after coming back home from the pharmacy, so I might begin to be more proactive with IC content even if it's during my lunch break. Thank you peeps for your patience ♥︎
#expect me to begin to ramble a little bit from tomorrow onward#about pre-installment things that are released ahead of time#if I find anything that makes my mind go brrr#and that I can't wait until its proper release#it'll be poster under cut of course#my excitement with certain topics is over the moon#and so is Dain's coming for 4.7#I have high hopes that what little was commented about his quest plot#goes the way I think#because it'll be great if it is#despite the pain#anyway! time to retreat to bed#hope you peeps have been doing well#and that you have a splendid beginning of week ♥︎
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me: wakes up and uses my entire photo upload limit immediately
#me#i sure hope i don't feel the need to post any images today#(except maybe what i already uploaded)#if anybody sends me an ask and i don't respond to it today it might be that i'm just waiting until tomorrow where i can use an image#I CAN'T USE MY RUSS GIF EITHER#the one#the hand kiss one#unfair that he gets to kiss his hand#i want to#anyway#i used up my entire limit on the video i giffed yesterday and i didn't even get to upload the whole thing yet#i didn't expect a video for ONE SONG to be too much for the limit#but i guess with so many scene cuts#short scenes means more scenes#SO i was able to upload liiiike 120 gifs then#that's the limit??#i never actually knew what the limit was i'd just upload until it said i can't anymore#why 120 of all numbers#i was only like two gifsets away from being able to upload the whole video#and i didn't even get to the slow/fast versions of things yet#well i'll allow myself to post some today anyway even though i like to have everything uploaded and tagged and done#and in my drafts set to go before i post from it#yesterday i was like 'oh i can just upload this and then still maybe have some of the limit left over for the other video i've been uploadi#ng'#i was WRONG#but tomorrow i will. i. i think. unless i made too many slow/fast versions of things#I'LL STOP TYPING NOW BYE
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#aaaaaah I can't wait for tomorrow#actually i can#but like miserably#i still have to finish my term paper tho so 🥲#current plan is to be at the venue at 3 pm but tbh it's up to the db gods#the next time i will have more than 5 hours of sleep will be next thursday#alright wait let me start over again#so tomorrow i'm going to berlin for bc#on sunday i'm going to Leipzig and on Wednesday I have VIP for Munich but I have anxiety so I'll be 4 hrs early anyway#and because we're trying to save money (and failing) i only have a hostel for munich :)))#three cheers for sleeping in train stations at 3 in the morning i guess#what doesn't help is that the trams are currently on strike so i'll either have to walk or get a taxi to my apartment#which sucks#anyway and to top it all off i got a bout of the big sad recently so i haven't been able to work on my term paper#which i have to hand in next thursday at the latest#but i only have until today to work on it bc i'll be travelling around until... next thursday when i have to hand it in#this is bad#anyway but enough of that I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING EVERYBODY AGAIN!!!!#and praying that they play red taillights live#that song has been living in my head rent free#as well as not your bro for some reason????
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Tfw you wanna brag on tumblr but you also wanna surprise your D&D group and most of them follow you on here...
#what do you mean I can't have Instant Gratification?#why do I have to wait until after we've all met up for D&D tomorrow?
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I've been reminded on why I take payment upfront for commissions..
#lilia speaks; ooc#cw vent#this person comes to me for a commission#we work out a payment plan#and they say they have the money for the first part almost saved up around nov 13th#i ask today if they need a sketch before payment#even though my tos states i take payment upfront#they do so i whip up a sketch.#then do lineart so there's no last-minute edits needed.#they go 'can't wait to see it coloured'#and i'm sitting here like 'what'#tell them they need to pay for me to work any further#and they left me on read after i showed them the lineart#i'm giving them until tomorrow to pay me or else i'm cancelling the commission#i've got enough on my plate. i don't need this too#they said they had the money nearly saved up so why am i being hung out to dry like this?#iT'S NOT CHEAP EITHER. IT'S A $135 COMMISSION
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Coworker confirmed with me that it was most likely last Saturday that this guy followed me, and he followed me today so there is a high chance he will show up again tomorrow
#i don't know what to do#im pulling aside my mom coworker tomorrow and telling her but idk if i should text her now or just wait till i see her#but i'll have an sos ready to send to her while on the floor#bossman is useless and so is branch manager - they're both guys who basically shrug (or equivalent) at problems#idk if the assistant branch manager is going to be in and idk her well enough to guage her reaction#manager who i am still upset at but would have my back probably - is out until after the weekend#i dont know what to do#im in a government building so they don't kick people unless it is an ultimate last resort#but i don't really feel safe#i knownit has only been 2 times but i can't put into words the creep vibes i am picking up
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sigh. group projects.
#i love it when the rest of my group just blatantly ignores the guidelines and won't send me the data so i can do it myself#love love love it when we wait until a hour before its due to finish the calculations when we had two whole weeks to work on it#and most of my contribution has been done for a week now but i can't finish what i need until i get the calculations. which i don't have#AND i have an exam tomorrow first thing in the morning#isn't life so fun and full of joy and whimsy. yippee. wahoo.
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“Is sex not the closest thing to euphoria? Have you actually not listened to the song that’s elevated me to the ever-elusive one-hit wonder status?”
“Sorry, I don’t recall hearing a sad, hipster cover of “Like a Virgin” on the radio as of late.”
He pauses, finally finished struggling with the cap. “… that’s actually not a bad idea for the next tour.”
“When you’re overwhelmed by the chorus of boos, think of me.”
“Fondly?”
“Never.”
Chapter 9 is up! Last one of the full chapters! Hope y'all liked this as much as I did writing it!!!!!!!!!!!!
#lyn needs to stop talking#truly a labor of love#making up for the fact that i can't get into that intimate show in my own fucking borough lol#anyway was gonna wait until tomorrow but fuck it we ball#hozier fanfiction#hozier fanfic#hozier fic#pls let me know what u think babes
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it is has been so long in fact almost a full calendar year since I last posted a fic that I had forgotten how hard it was to just sit on my hands and wait to post a story at an acceptable hour. god help me
#like I have to wait until mid day tomorrow bc I KNOW that is the time the most people will see it at once#based on past experience#however tonight I am like hehe but what if I finished the edits and just posted it immediately <3#girl NO have some self control#anyway I think if I tell myself I can't do that bc I still need the morning to think of tags that will work. perhaps#text post
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ohhh, having a clothesline was integral to my mental health & sense of well-being. i see (still confused, does not see).
#i reinstalled it in a new location so i can start using it again and hung a bunch of blankets up#can't do my clothes today because it's too late i'll have to wait until tomorrow#i feel a sense of peace. that is indescribable.#is it because i'm cosplaying my ancestors? is it because i'm in tune with the forces of the wind and sun?#what's the deal#why did that make me so happy#is it nostalgia from spring before last when everything was okay and i hadn't shattered yet#i really feel like i did something incredible today 🤔 like i've gotta bring this up in therapy this week bc it seems so pivotal#adam talks too much
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