#what is it w new scripts and forgetting my routines | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hotkoyo · 4 years ago

Text

SFW Howie Alphabet Headcanons

Author's Note: When will my husband come home from war?

Disclaimer: These headcanons are based on how I imagine Howie to be based on the game. You don't have to agree with what I say here as everyone is free to have their own ideas.

𝄥 𝄞 ── 𝄇

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

VERY affectionate. I honestly feel like he grew up surrounded with so much love and now he’s just overflowing with it. Howie is all about showing his love through warm hugs, having his arm around you, swinging your hands as you walk, head pats, you name it. Another one, in my opinion, is words of affirmation. He'd tell you how much you matter to him through words, like quoting lines from his favorite movies and saying "I love you" before you both go to sleep.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Affectionate. Lots of play fighting and cuddling during movie sessions. Singing to Disney songs at the top of your lungs. You guys make friendship bracelets for each other (and he never takes off his). Definitely one of those dudes who drive their best friend everywhere.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

If it’s not apparent already, this dude is a giant golden retriever and he lives for the cuddles. He is born to cuddle, baby. Due to his size, it’s natural that he ends up as a big spoon more often than not but he definitely loves the moments he gets to be the small spoon.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

So domestic, even when you guys just started dating. It’s easy to imagine yourself settling down with someone as warm and comforting as Howie. He would love to settle down and build a home with you and you guys love having conversations about your dream house and how your life would be like in five, ten years. He’s alright at cooking in general but can cook some amazing Chinese dishes that his mom taught him.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It would be hard for him to get out of a relationship, to be completely honest. He’s one of those people who easily gets attachment issues and finds it hard to move on from a relationship. If he really has to be the one to end the relationship, he would want to talk it out with you and try to end your relationship on a good note. I feel like he’s one of those people who really values respect, even when things aren’t working out anymore between you two.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Howie is a hopeless romantic and while he does have his insecurities, I feel like he would really love to commit to someone. In terms of marriage, it really depends on you. I don’t think his career would hinder him much when it comes to popping the question, to be honest. If he feels like he’s comfortable enough with the relationship and sees that you are, too, I think he’d propose to you when he feels like the time is right.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Howie is a textbook example of a gentle giant. He knows he’s strong so physically, he knows when to hold back a bit. Emotionally, it’s canon that he’s a soft and caring boy through and through and he would never hurt you on purpose.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Ugh, he LOVES hugs. It’s canon that the Yan fam is really good with hugs so if you need a pick-me-up, he’s your man. Whenever you guys are alone, he acts like an overgrown koala because he can’t get enough of hugging you. If hot chocolate is a hug, it’s what Howie’s would feel like. Warm, familiar, and comforting.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He knows he loves you when he does but holds back a lot in fear of coming off too strong. If he feels that you feel the same, then he would say it pretty quickly into the relationship or during a spur of a moment. If it seems that you need more time, he would hold back just so that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s the type who’s less jealous and more insecure. His jealousy isn’t going to make him act rashly and put you on the spot. It’s slow and creeping and you might not notice at first because of how well he conceals it but it becomes apparent by the way he starts to act distant.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Warm and gentle. His kisses make you feel so safe and loved and he likes to take the time to show you how he feels through the gesture. He loves to kiss you everywhere but his favorite places to kiss you are your nose and temples.

Also, kiss him on the forehead and he’d melt into a puddle. Another one of his hotspots is at the back of his neck. Kiss him there and watch him sputter as he tries to gain back his bearings.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He loves kids, kids love him. He humors the kids a lot and is a great impersonator so prepare yourself for some improvised skits in front of the kiddos. Can’t say no to the kids, though, so you might have to step in from time to time. Kids treat him like a human jungle gym. Which he actually is.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

I definitely see him as a morning person. Also, he’s so fit that you can’t tell me he doesn’t workout every single morning. Probably goes on an early jog and is one of those people who seems so chipper even if it's only seven in the morning.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Have you seen actors with their stage makeup on? There’s no way Howie’s skin stays so smooth and supple without some form of skincare routine. Has his own skincare routine and loves doing it with you together in front of the mirror (while making faces at you). After a good skincare session, he'll sit on the couch or in bed with you cuddled up to him as he reads scripts from his new upcoming projects.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Depending on how much he trusts you, it could be sooner or later. The thing with him is that he keeps things bottled up to himself. It’s hard and it’s tiring and the moment he feels safe with you, the dam breaks and he starts to reveal things about himself.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

It’s definitely hard to annoy Howie and even harder to provoke him. He has the patience of a saint and unless something is very wrong, you can always find him just chillin lol.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’s quite sentimental so he definitely remembers your relationship milestones. He remembers a lot of small things about you; like how you like your cereal and your best friend’s name from high school. Some of the details can be fuzzy at times but he tries!

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Canonically: The moment you said yes when he asked to be your boyfriend at Luca’s "sister's wedding".

Headcanon: The time you both visited his family in Chicago for the holidays. You were walking home from dinner when the snowfall turned into a snowstorm. It was terribly cold and windy but you both kept on laughing at the situation and you looked so gorgeous with snow stuck to your hair under the waning streetlight that he didn’t even care that he's freezing his butt off.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Isn’t too protective in the traditional sense because he knows you can take care of yourself. More protective of how you feel because of his words and actions so he’s careful in what he says and how he says them because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Highkey loves to be protected tho. Thinks it's kinda hot.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Puts a lot of effort in his career, obviously. Howie is always so passionate and ambitious when it comes to being a top actor. Relationship-wise, he’s a simp. Dates are mostly casual with him but he puts extra time and effort in choosing or making gifts. All the extra and expensive bits goes into your anniversary dates.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

A lot of times, he leaves his wet, sweaty workout shirts at the corner of the room and somehow always forgets no matter how many times you’ve scolded him. Sometimes doesn’t close or tie snack packages properly so when it's your turn to eat them, they’re often stale. A terrible snorer when he’s had a long day on set.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Quite concerned. He likes to highlight the nice parts of his body through the clothes he choose to wear and tries to follow a healthy diet in general. He worked hard for his body and as much as embarrassing as it is to admit, he loves to show off and be admired for it (especially by you).

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

A strong believer that every person is complete and whole on their own. He believes that every person is their own and just because you love someone, it doesn't mean that your life must revolve around that person. Even so, he is a romantic. So even if he knows that he's complete without you, he does prefer to have you by his side.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He can play the piano really well. Aside from dance lessons, his parents put aside a lot of money to sign him up for piano classes when he was younger. Now, he plays them whenever he’s deep in thought and it’s always relaxing to hear him play.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

In general, Howie doesn’t like broccoli. Keep those away from him. Please. When it comes to partners, Howie stays away from people who make him feel less. Basically people who put him down for being who he is and liking the things he likes. Narcissists, if you will.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He’s a snuggler and he nuzzles into your side a lot when he sleeps. Whether you get too warm is your problem because this dude is Strong™ and won’t let you push him aside that easily. And, God, I hate to say this but he’s definitely a snorer. Not all the time but when he’s really tired.... let’s just say you won’t be getting a decent sleep.

#howie yan #roadkill howie #fictif howie #fictif roadkill #roadkill #fictif #fictif nix hydra #nix hydra #howie yan headcanons #fictif howie headcanons

104 notes · View notes

panickinganakin · 5 years ago

Text

Ben (Kylo Ren x Reader AU)

A/N Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter, it gives a little more insight to reader and gives her a little bit of spotlight.

This is chapter 8 in an ongoing series! You can find all chapters on the masterlist here!

Warnings: soft kylo, nothing much else.

Word Count: 2062

You sat at the table, forking through the mush. Once you received your lightsaber it was like the force was hitting you full throttle. You could see the past Jedi’s in your sleep now. Every night you had been waking up screaming.

Kylo had been there to hold you and soothe you back down. He would run his hands through your hair, plant kisses all over your nervous body. He took care of you, he was gentle and kind. Nothing you would have expected upon meeting him. He continued to prove himself completely different than just Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order. The way he held your hands. The way he cleaned you off in the shower when you were too exhausted to even form words. You had become his and he had become yours. You bodies fit together like a puzzle piece, you knew you were training for something much bigger than yourself but all you cared about was Kylo.

Kylo sat down at the table beside you with a cup of coffee, “I want this to be over,” you groaned.

“I wish I could tell you it got easier. And maybe, maybe it does. But, there is always a pull to the light.” he sat his hand on top of yours and sighed. “Listen, I have a mission today. I don’t know when I’ll return, but, you are in charge here. You have a meeting with the General’s today. Don’t take any shit from them, speak to them as if you were me.”

You stomach did flips, “You’re leaving? I thought I had to go on missions with you... I thought, why? Why do I have to stay here? I’ve never spoke in a meeting before.”

“You will do well, you’re very smart. You’ll know exactly what to say. The meeting will take place in the board of General’s room. Two hours, exactly. Don’t be late,” he stood up grabbing his mask from the table.

His hand went under your chin and he tilted your face up, staring at it as if it to memorize it. He leaned down, pressing his lips against yours for a long moment. And as you became dizzy, always intoxicated by his touch, he whisked away in rush of black fabrics.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, making sure your robes were pressed neatly and your hair tied back in perfect order. You grabbed your light saber placing it in its seethe, leaving the quarters quickly. It felt empty and lonely without Kylo, he didn’t give you a time frame for his mission but you had hoped it wouldn’t be long.

“Commander,” General Hux’s voice held a lot of resentment and his jaw was shut tightly as he spoke.

“Hello General Hux, hope you are well today.” You decided to be kind, maybe you and Kylo could have a good cop bad cop routine.

His face twisted in confusion, “Er, fine, uh, thank you?”

You nodded and entered the room, sitting at the table. You sat, back straight, arms folded on top of the sleek black surface. The generals all looked confused when you sat but you acted as if this wasn’t your first time at this large, scary, table.

“Let’s waste no time then, skipping all pleasantries. Commander Ren is away on a er- mission for Snoke. We don’t have much details but standing in today is Commander L/N, she will return to all meetings. Snoke and Ren have deemed her third in command,” General Hux sounded as if the words were being forced through him from a script.

You felt your face turning red, they didn’t seem to excited to have you here. “Moving forward, the first order of business is the traitor Stormtrooper. We are searching for the droid still and thanks to you our new Commander, we have their location and will close in soon. Ren wishes to have him returned for questioning and reconditioning. The other option is to kill on site, we will now vote-”

“No, you won’t vote. Commander Ren wants him alive, you bring him back alive. That isn’t an optional task.”

“With all do respect, we’ve done this much longer than you and his life wagered against our own-”

“A human life is a lot to gamble. Your commander wants him alive, you will bring back FN 2187 alive. End of discussion, now you may move forward with discussions.”

“Uh- that was- all for today’s meeting,” the voice was coming from an older man with a hushed voice.

You felt angry now, had they really called a meeting to vote against Kylo, but only because he had left? “I’m sorry, you mean to tell me, that the day the Commander leaves you hold a meeting to vote against him? If you think for one second the commander doesn’t have the intentions of the First Order in mind you are sorely mistaken. Our Supreme Leader and the Commander both will hear about this. If you even so much as think about wasting time again you will all be demoted.”

You stood up, pushing your chair back angrily, “Good day, gentlemen,” you huffed pressing out of the room.

The audacity.

You passed through the halls, full of anger. The nerve of this group. You couldn’t wait to tell Kylo all this about this.

When you entered yours and Kylo’s living quarters there was a loud beeping coming from the center of the main room. You walked to the table, inspecting it curiously. You jumped back when a blue image flickered in front you.

A few seconds of distortion then the image was clear, Snoke was paying you a visit in the form of a hologram. “Supreme Leader, to what pleasure?” you bowed your head trying to keep your voice steady.

“General Hux spoke with me, you really a made a scene, my young one.”

You tried to flash a small smile but it was hard to ignore the bile that pressed up your throat when he called you his young one, “I do apologize supreme leader, er, sir. I just thought it unprofessional they wanted to go against the word of the commander.”

And you get to make that decision?” His voice had a snarky tone and you could feel your jaw popping from biting down so hard.

“The commander made that decision. He wanted the trooper alive, I was only trying to keep order.”

“And what does a trooper’s life really matter to us?”

That was a good question, why did Kylo want him alive? “Well if he’s began to work with the rebellion, then he may be able to give us information on them we don’t have. He could also tell us what he has told them, that way we know what they know. We could use him to our advantage. It would be a loss, bringing back just his body. Wouldn’t you agree, sir?”

Even though he was just there in a hologram you could see his facial expressions well, he was thinking over your words. He tilted his head, “I suppose him coming back alive does have its advantages. After he re-positioned himself in his chair he spoke again, “Hux also said you would have them demoted. Do you think that power resides in you?”

“No, sir. But, to be fair, the look on their faces told me they believed I did. I was only trying to do my part. Anyone who does not have the absolute best and correct intentions of The First Order in mind, don’t deserve a rank, do they?”

“You have spark, that is for sure. Good job on your first meeting. However don’t forget your place. Kylo sends well regards of your training, continue with this. Do not let us down, you show a great amount of potential. I expect you will see your duties through to the end.”

In an instant he was gone and you were alone. You sighed, your body immediately dropping down onto the couch. You groaned rubbing your temples, confused with your actions. At first you had been proud of the way you handled yourself at the meeting, but now you wondered if it was wrong? Snoke had sent mixed signals, did he respect your actions or think them foolish?

You wished Kylo was here, maybe he could explain what was happening, calm down the emotions raging inside of you. When would he be back?

You laid back on the couch, sleep threatening your eyes. When you closed your eyes you seen him, a dark blonde man, sitting in the sand. Your sand. Tatooine.

“Who are you?” you voice sounded distant from you body, it echoed on invisible walls.

“I am Anakin Skywalker. I am Ben’s grandfather. You’re going the wrong way I can assure you of this. Heed my warning, the dark side offers you nothing but pain.”

“Who is Ben? How do you know? You’re just a jedi.”

“His name has not always been Kylo. I am more than you think. I use to be-”

“Darth Vader,” you choked, remembering when Kylo told you about his grandfather. “W-what do you want?”

“I want for you to take Ben, bring him back to the light. Back to his mother and father, back to the Jedi way.”

“No, I won’t do it... This is what he wants, I just want him to be happy..”

“Happy? You think Ben is happy murdering people? Ben is not who you think. Heed my warnings, young one. Retreat from the darkside.”

You sat up quickly, grasping the couch cushions. “Ben,” you croaked out.

“What did you say?”

You jumped, falling off the couch. Kylo was in front of you now, your head smacked against the floor.You thought he was still away, when did he return? You tried sitting up, failing from dizziness. “You’re back, I-”

“What did you say?” he asked against stepping closer.

You closed your eyes, your voice so small you weren’t even sure if he could hear you, “Ben.”

Kylo wrapped his arms around you, lifting you as if you weighed nothing. He carried you to the bed and sat you down. When he pulled his mask off you could see the pain in his eyes. “You know. How?”

“I- I fell asleep... Anakin visited me, again. He won’t leave me alone.”

“He told you my name?”

You nodded.

“What did he say?”

“Kylo, really...”

“What did he say to you?”

“He told me to bring you back home, to your mother... Back to ‘the Jedi way’.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him that you didn’t want it, and I would only do what you asked of me. Kylo, I’m really sorry.”

“Say it again, my name.”

“Kylo.”

“No, my name.”

You held your breath, feeling anxious. Why was this happening? If he had just stayed away at his mission, you could have avoided this. “Ben.”

He didn’t say anything else. So you pushed yourself up, crawling to the side of the bed where he sat. You pulled him down against your chest so you could stroke his hair, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s hard,” he finally spoke, “avoiding the pull to the light. I thought shedding my name was the last of my Jedi blood. Once I had rid myself of it, I would be clean. But, it’s always there, still apart of me. And now there’s you... You are the most good I’ve ever had in my life. It makes the pull so much stronger, so much harder to avoid.”

“Ben...” you spoke softly. You had meant to say Kylo but Ben flowed out so much more easily. “It’s okay, we just need to sleep.”

“We could leave together, we could do it. Just us. No first order, no rebellion, just the two of us. We can fly to a planet less inhabited. One that the order hasn’t touched yet.”

You listened as he spoke and felt terrified. It didn’t matter if you went somewhere the Order wasn’t, they would find you. They would kill you both. You wanted to be with Kylo, not die trying. Unless, you were willing to make that sacrifice? “Shhh, just lay back,” you cooed rubbing his head.

All the nights he had spent luring you into sleep, it was his turn to sleep now. You laid awake for hours, listening to his soft patterned breathing. You thought about leaving with him, running away. How long could the two of you survive? It wouldn’t take long for Snoke and the order to find you, for the Order to kill you both.

Could you two do it? Start your own empire?

tag list: @bensoloslover @crockgoblin69 @stylishbauers @jellyfishbeansontoast @shesakillerkween @napping-is-my-favorite @lucifers--lil--angel

#kylo ren au #kylo ren #ben solo #kylo #star wars #star wars au #star wars fanfic #kylo ren fanfic #restoring balance #writing

27 notes · View notes

redandfranticfeelings · 6 years ago

Text

okay ive been wanting to make a post like this for a while but i wanted to make it an essay and i dont know if i can really organize my thoughts in that way yet, so here’s a chronological bullet-pointed dump to explain my very important thesis:

be more chill is about internalized ableism, and jeremy, michael, and christine are all highly autistic coded. this is going to be very long and detailed but only because there’s a lot of details that work very well under this lens.

there’s probably even stuff i missed but this is already extremely long so it basically just functions as a way for me to collect a bunch of details that i can piece together later in a more coherent manner.

“more than survive” in the context of jeremy being autistic works so much. the theme of wanting to be just socially acceptable enough to not burn out or be harassed is so relatable, and it visually establishes very early how jeremy is isolated from his peers due to his own awkward behavior and hypersensitivity. it’s coupled with his very obvious anxiety disorder, but the social aspect just screams autistic coding to me. i take this song to basically be “not having a meltdown is basically my goal but i would love to be neurotypical enough so i can heighten my standards and actually enjoy my social life.” some choice segments:

“if i’m not feeling weird or super strange, my life would be in utter disarray, cuz freaking out is my okay”

jeremy’s house being a mess is partly due to his dad’s serious depression, yeah, but i believe the other aspect is that jeremy’s executive dysfunction makes it just as hard to clean up in his place

he gets super anxious at the prospect of his expected routine being shaken up and having to make the decision on his own of how to get to school

“so i follow my own rules and i use them as my tools to stay alive” honestly sounds like a euphemism for autism to me

jeremy not really realizing that he’s staring at chloe

“avoiding any eye contact at all” explains itself

michael’s introduction, oh my god, every time i watch this part i just adore it. i could talk a lot more about michael’s autism later but this whole segment sells it especially.

first off, michael keeping his hood up and headphones on in a deliberate attempt to avoid social interaction and stay in his own space is such an autistic mood. even before this scene he’s constantly moving in the background to his music a la stimming. in the later performances he spends a lot more time playing with his hoodie strings and even chews on them!!

the fact he doesn’t talk to or even really look at jeremy until his song is done playing also feels very autistic to me! and the way he dances so confidently and basically pretends even his best friend isn’t there for the time being because he’s engrossed in his own passions.

michael is a great friend but it’s clear that he doesn’t really understand that his coping mechanism doesn’t really work for jeremy, and that even though michael feels confident reclaiming his identity as a ‘loser,’ jeremy doesn’t really feel any better about it. i think a lot of autistic folks, or at least i do, have this tendency to assume what works for us works for everyone around us at first due to our struggles with empathy. michael tries his best but struggles to see outside his point of view. it’s mind-blindness in action and jeremy can’t communicate why it upsets him any better than michael can pick up on it not working for him.

near the end of the song, they have a brief moment where all the ensemble crowds in around jeremy and the lights start flashing, which i interpret as a visual representation of sensory overload.

we’ll talk more about her soon, but outside of jeremy’s fantasies about her, christine also avoids social interaction during this number, constantly hiding her face in a book and avoiding eye contact just as much as jeremy. people forget that she’s not comfortable with unexpected social interaction, and that really informs my headcanon for her which brings us to....

“i love play rehearsal” is an autistic anthem. it also works, possibly even better due to in-text evidence, as an adhd anthem, but combined with the above it makes so much sense for her to be comorbid autism/adhd. i did a breakdown of the song in this context before, but i’ll sum it up here

the song showcases what having a special interest/hyperfixation is like. christine is singing to jeremy, yes, but she really seems so caught up in her own passion without much regard for how jeremy is following it, and even cuts him off from responding to her once or twice because she’s just so hyped up on her own feelings. she also basically implies her happiness is reliant on her special interest which is very relatable.

lines like “you follow a script so you know what comes next” also really sell the interpretation that christine isn’t good in unpredictable situations, and has so many identity issues and likes having something to look to where things are laid out for her. i think that stability is what a lot of autistic people look for, especially teenagers.

also with that in mind, look at how upset she gets watching a play she loves about get rewritten into something weird and new that she doesn’t know.

also gotta love how she still self-isolates before this song by focusing on her book, until she has a reason to infodump to jeremy. and then feels guilty afterwards and goes right back into her book while apologizing for getting “carried away”....biiiig mood there

the whole intro scene showcases both of their awkwardness so much. jeremy gets completely thrown off by her sarcastic comment about the swim team and almost believes it, which implies that he can’t read tone very well. and then christine’s “you’re a virgin” comment comes across like she really didn’t think about how that would sound to jeremy before saying it since she only made the clarification after he was ready to panic about it. she has a habit of speaking before she thinks, i think, the self-harm comment is also very awkward considering she barely knows jeremy.

after that scene we get “more than survive reprise” where jeremy admits to routinely having such bad breakdowns that he needs to step out and go to the nurse which works for both the anxiety disorder and the autism interpretation.

i’m not quite sure whether i see rich as autistic (i see him with a lot of mental issues for sure though) so i can’t say much on “the squip song” but there’s definitely something to describing a confused autistic kid as “almost helpless.” rich definitely has a habit of giving too much information though, i’ll say that.

“two player game” is just jeremy and michael being autistic solidarity: the song. i guess this is a good place to say that jeremy and michael work well as a contrast b/w two sides of autistic community, the side that struggles to function and desperately wants a change bc they’re afraid of being alone forever, and the side that tries to love all their symptoms and embrace their autistic pride. and as coincidental icing on the cake, jeremy wears blue (associated with the derogatory views from autism speaks) and michael wears red (associated with combating said views through autistic pride).

btw you could probably attribute michael’s ability to casually down a long-expired crystal pepsi as a sort of weird sensory quirk. and his fixation w/ that sort of memorabilia honestly feels like a special interest in its own right!

both “nice sideburns....wolverine, right” and “like in x-men????” using fiction as a reference point for real life always gives me autistic vibes (esp the first point where he awkwardly uses it to start conversation). can we assume x-men is a special interest? :3

jake referring to jeremy as a ‘freak’ when the squip turns on is really sad in this context but it also does make so much sense

now we get to the squip.....and what do you know, it uses tactics from abusive therapy used on autistic children. dare i say that “be more chill” as a song isn’t just an abuser’s song, but an ableist’s abuser’s song.

first off, the “spinal stimulation.” here’s a not so fun fact: electroshock therapy has been used to discourage autistic behavior in very recent years. (content warning in link for graphic description of ableist torture)

then the lyrics, in which the squip mostly focuses on jeremy’s posture and physically punishes him for disobeying. jeremy is shown to really struggle to stand up straight and pose himself in a normal, confident way, and i think that tendency to be unaware of what our body is doing is a pretty autistic thing?

the fact the squip singles out stammering and refers to jeremy’s “tics and fidgets” brings attention to two more autistic traits of jeremy’s

the squip basically punishes jeremy for responding “incorrectly” to social situations like rejecting brooke, even if they aren’t objectively wrong. it eventually just starts speaking for jeremy because jeremy seems incapable of acting natural. the squip is an abusive autism parent.

“sync up” demonstrates jeremy’s weird relationship with empathy. he wants to be nice to everyone- will has even called him “deeply empathetic”- but he’s initially really bad at seeing other people’s point of view, which is why he positions himself as sort of against the world, seeing everyone as better than him or trying to set up these barriers of Coolness where everyone else must be perfect compared to him. he’s so surprised to learn that the popular kids also hurt because of his strict idea of the social structure. it’s a combination of low self esteem and a black-and-white viewpoint.

let’s go back to christine. the squip, already established as ableist abuser, finds her “highly unusual” for acting in a way that disregards everyone who views her. she has very strange and specific visions in her head, and it seems very natural for her even if jeremy struggles to follow along.

in later performances, she chews on her sleeve and spins around during AGTIKBI. that’s stimming, babes. also gotta acknowledge “i don’t always relate to other people my age, except when i’m on the stage”

i’m gonna use this section to talk about jake and christine. christineis a bit unsure when interacting with jake, until he validates her interest- her acting is what really touches him. but jake, while good-hearted, has trouble being self-centered and thus not fully aware of christine’s own needs and space. so christine is always a little uncomfortable around him, especially in public, and not always willing to socialize. he is right about her being kind of stuck in her comfort zone, though, not doing anything off of her stage. and he is genuinely nice to her, it’s just a matter of their social strategies clashing.

the fact that the squip blocks out michael...i’ve had a lot of times in my life where i was told that socializing with other “weird” people would be counterproductive for my social development and it was part of why i was stuck with so few friends. so i really feel the idea that blocking out the person who helps you feel confident in your atypicality is framed as a good thing so you can act more socially adept, and that doing otherwise would just drag you both down.

hot DAMN does “loser geek whatever” make so much sense for an autistic kid with internalized ableism.

“it’s not only school that’s rough, being lonely’s stupid tough” makes it pretty clear this isn’t about the school social scene as muc as it is the entire social scene of the world. we may not see it, but it’s just (not) interacting with people in general that jeremy can’t stand.

“michael says that weird is rad but feeling weird just makes me sad” as stated above, makes a Lot More Sense with the idea that michael is both a more confident autistic and really bad at addressing jeremy’s own internalized ableism and desire to make connections outside his small friend group.

everything about jeremy boiling down all his problems to his “instincts” sucking and needing to basically be told what to do really highlights how autistic kids can feel broken because of their inability to fit into the social norm, to the point where we repress every behavior that actually makes us feel comfortable and unique.

not to mention the line about him being seen as a “normal handsome guy” since autistic people tend to be infantilized and never seen as desirable (will roland also implied this line has trans coding which is another discussion altogether but i feel i should acknowledge that here)

all of those terms that jeremy calls himself near the end- namely weirdo, misfit, oddball, freak, failure- all of this sounds like the shit people throw at autistic kids. like this goes beyond anxiety alone, this is jeremy being outcasted and oppressed by the general public due to his behavior. especially the “please don’t speak” part, considering how often autistic kids are mocked for misunderstanding when to speak, how to speak, and what to talk about. jeremy needs some freaking love. :(

“michael in the bathroom” is a panic attack, related to severe anxiety, but i do see a lot of aspects that play into autism as well. the little nervous stimmy movements of foot-bouncing and picking at grout, the explosive sensory overload during the “knock knock” section of the bridge, the whole concept of losing the only person you ever managed to connect to without sacrificing who you are, dealing with this massive change to your sense of philosophy and reality where you pinned everything on one person to ground yourself, and thus you’re now completely lost trying to isolate yourself from this big overwhelming social gathering...neurodivergent anthem all around.

jeremy and christine’s couch interactions during halloween give me such autistic positivity. christine basically echolales jeremy’s weird noise and they both have so much fun vocal stimming that they forget there’s another person in the room. it’s such a sweet moment until jeremy ruins it by realizing that asking her out right after a breakup is Not Really Good For Her.

christine’s reaction to the fire demonstrates a clear case of hyperempathy to me. it isn’t discussed as much as a complete lack of empathy, but autistic folks are prone to feeling way too much especially when it comes to others’ pain. christine talking about how she hates that everyone’s hurting and desperately wants to help but doesn’t know how, and how we’ve already seen how much she struggles to connect with others like jake....it’s a very relatable, very specific autistic mood.

going back to the theme of jeremy and empathy, christine’s above hyperempathy kind of breaks this mold, and while jeremy always does feel for the other kids, by this point he feels so strongly- particularly for christine, who he also saw as a perfect confident being until now- that the squip can manipulate him into “fixing” everyone the same way the squip was supposed to “fix” him. and he never considers that christine doesn’t need to be fixed because he just projects his own insecurity that strongly onto everyone else who seems “weird” in the same kind of way- hence why he assumes michael is jealous of him back in MITB. it’s likely a result of the squip’s manipulation but i feel like mind-blindness is a factor, even if jeremy switches between struggling to process others’ emotions and being extremely empathetic.

michael’s special interest saves the day!!! :D

the whole fight b/w jeremy and michael, assuming it comes from a genuine place of repressed bitterness, has a lot of added subtext with them both being autistic. jeremy accusing michael of “giving up” on social interaction, michael envies jeremy for trying bc michael is clearly Not comfortable in most large social settings, jeremy envies michael for his pride, it just hits home for me i guess

rich calling michael “antisocial headphones kid” honestly how is michael not canon autistic

in the off-bway version michael briefly speaks too loud forgetting that jeremy’s head still hurts which is a relatable Forgot About Boundaries thing. plus him smacking rich playfully forgetting that rich is Still In Pain

“voices in my head” works nice as a fuck-societal-norms-and-just-be-happy song. “embrace the traits that make you so odd” in particular :’)

jeremy remembering christine’s infodump about her obscure bowling alley performance art idea and bringing it up to her again!!!

the squip doesn’t go away because ableism and the anxiety it brings and all the upsetting symptoms of autism don’t go away, but with the right support and confidence you can live with them!!! good message for mental disorders in general and works very well in this context!!!

so in conclusion.....be more chill is autistic pride!!!

#be more chill #bmc #actuallyautistic #autistic headcanons #long post #be more neurodivergent #queue are so busted

287 notes · View notes

asterythm · 6 years ago

Text

A is for Amour || The Way The Cookie Crumbles (8)

Pairings: Slow burn Logicality, endgame Prinxiety Word Count: 8k Chapter Summary: Logan tries some sweet treats, which uncovers some truths that taste just a little more bitter. Chapter Warnings: food, and... thaaaat’s about it. Think of this chapter as a nice, long reprieve from all the angst I’ve been putting you through :)

<< First Chapter || < Previous Chapter || Read this chapter on AO3

For all the comfort it offered Logan, the predictable routine of school could get awfully dull sometimes.

The first half of the day had looked exactly like any other. He’d arrived precisely ten minutes before the bell. Attended two hour-long classes, but between the two of them spent less than half an hour actually listening (he knew all the material already, why bother?).

Now, he was on his way to the most predictable part of the day yet: lunch, which he typically spent in the library studying instead of eating (Logan was a firm believer in the superiority of several small meals rather than three big ones). With a worn Science textbook in one hand, his sleek laptop in the other, and a dark blue water bottle clamped securely against his side, Logan could not have been following his mundane script more closely if he’d tried.

Until he turned the corner, that is, and almost ran straight into a boy coming out of the Tech and Home Ec hall.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”

All too quickly, Logan recognized the speaker. He fought the urge to roll his eyes. “That’s quite alright, Patton.”

“Huh…? Oh, hey, Logan!” As Patton spoke, a slight flush began to spread across his cheeks. Logan noted the colouration with curiosity; had he been running in the halls, or was there some other force at work here that Logan was somehow oblivious to? “Fancy seeing you here! I mean, what a surprise, am I right?”

“I don’t know if I would call it a surprise , per say, considering I do attend this school and all,” was Logan’s dry response. “That said, although I was expecting for the two of us to eventually run into each other here, I never thought that it would be in quite so literal a fashion.”

Logan didn’t realize his mistake until he saw Patton’s entire face immediately lit up with delight.

Oh sh—

“Did you just make a dad joke?”

“Never! ...Intentionally,“ Logan begrudgingly amended, cursing his sorry mouth. What had he been thinking, letting slip such foolishness as that? He was going to lose his student’s respect!

He made a mental note to confront his own dad about this later. The prolonged exposure to bad jokes must have finally begun contaminating his cognition; a hypothesis evidenced by, say, the strange way his student seemed to be vibrating before his very eyes.

Wait, no. Pushing his glasses up on his nose, Logan did a double take. That was no illusion. Patton was literally vibrating. What — how is that even physically possible?

While Logan puzzled over this new development, Patton continued to talk, and his words only confirmed Logan’s fears. “Man, this is so weird.” A good-natured laugh. “I mean, I knew that you had to have a sense of humour somewhere in there, obviously, but still. Hearing you make a joke in person like this? I never thought I’d see the day!”

The situation was not looking good. Logan could almost see his dignity disappearing, figurative grains of fine sand on a figurative beach, running through his figurative fingers at an alarming rate as he fumbled for a way to excuse himself from the conversation.

Or at least change the subject. It was with that thought that his eyes fell, for the first time, onto the plate in Patton’s hands.

Logan wasn’t sure how he hadn’t seen — or, more importantly, smelled — it any earlier. Covering nearly the entire surface of the ceramic plate was a variety of freshly baked, delicious-looking thumbprint cookies, arranged artfully to resemble petals on a flower of some sort. In the centre of each cookie was a spoonful or so of what was undeniably Crofter’s. And judging by the richness of their aroma, these cookies had probably only just come out of the oven a few minutes ago.

Had Logan been years younger, he likely would have been salivating at the very smell. But of course, he was too mature to submit to such temptations now. Obviously.

With considerable effort, Logan tore his gaze away from the plate.

“I see you have still more cookies today,” he observed out loud. “Tell me, do you make it a habit to always carry baked goods with you?”

“Ah — yeah, heh, I just came from Home Ec,” replied the younger boy, almost sheepish as he followed Logan’s gaze. “Today was a baking day, and I got a little carried away and accidentally made too many, so I got Mx. Harper’s permission to borrow a plate and pass them out around the school.”

“Fascinating. I didn’t realize you enjoyed baking.” Logan’s eyebrows raised, genuine interest animating his features. “Is that a hobby that you often engage in?”

“Yeah, I think it’s really amazing what baking can do! Like, I wanna meet the guy who looked at a loaf of bread and thought — ” Patton adopted a gruff tone — “Ya know what this needs? More sugar and eggs!” He giggled, dropping the voice. “I mean, the ingredients are so plain on their own. Sugar, butter, flour… who woulda thought that they could work together to come up with something oodles better than what you started with? And then you get to eat it! Or else you get to brighten up someone else’s day with it, which is somehow even better. Who doesn’t like eating a whole bunch of sweet stuff, am I right?

“It’s a funny thing, really. You’d think that with all the measuring and stuff, I’d be nervous about getting numbers mixed up, but… it’s actually kind of the opposite. All the numbers that I need to see are marked up on the measuring cups or spoons, so I don’t have to worry about getting them wrong. I don’t even have to think of them as numbers! I just imagine I’m playing one of those memory games where you have to match — um, match cards with...”

Abruptly, Patton stopped, seeming to have suddenly become aware of himself. Eye contact broke as he cleared his throat. “Sorry, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“No, no! Well, yes, a little bit, but it’s quite alright. Truth be told, I don’t mind,” said Logan, surprising both Patton and himself with his sincerity. He was actually enjoying Patton’s chatter today; he’d never before heard the simple act of baking described so vividly. And, if he was being completely honest — Patton’s passion was invigorating after such a monotonous day.

“Wait, really?” Patton cocked his head to the side, appearing as if he could hardly believe his ears. “I’m… not annoying you?”

“Not in the slightest.”

Logan watched as the hopeful gleam slowly returned to Patton’s blue eyes. ( Huh. Blue. Logan hadn’t even noticed how bright those eyes were until now; they were always obscured behind Patton’s glasses, he supposed.) The freckled boy opened his mouth. Closed it. Then, hurriedly, he opened it again and spoke up.

“If that’s the case, then...” Patton raised the plate slightly. “I was about to head into the foyer to hand these out, but since you’re already here, would you maybe want to be the first to give one of these a try?”

Why, Patton, how charitable of you to extend such an offer! Yes, I most certainly would like a thumbprint cookie, thank you very much. How did you know these are my favourite? Truly, what a kind and generous soul you are.

…is exactly what Logan did not say.

Though his immediate instinct was to say yes and grab one of the buttery, jam-filled sweets (it was Crofter’s, after all!), Logan was also acutely aware that he was very much not where he should be at the moment; he should have been seated in one of the library’s quiet work cubicles long ago, chipping away at a decently sizable pile of homework. But no — instead, he was here, chatting up a storm with this bouncing-energy-ball of a boy and throwing down dad jokes like there was no tomorrow. Taking a cookie would mean even less time spent being productive, especially since no food was allowed in the library. And hadn’t Logan already wasted enough time today?

Then again…

Logan supposed there was another way of looking at the situation, and that was this: seeing as Logan was already behind schedule, he might as well forget all about schedules and routines and so forth, if only for one day. Let himself take a breather. Enjoy a cookie for a change. In light of all the time he had already wasted today, taking off one or two minutes more to have a quick snack could hardly make that much of a difference, could it?

Still Logan hesitated in his deliberation over the age-old question: punctuality… or Crofter’s? It could go either way, really; Logan held both options in an equally high regard. Whatever decision he made, though, he’d have to make it fast — going back and forth like this was the least effective time usage of them all.

A tiebreaker, then, Logan finally decided. Pointing to one of the cookies, he asked Patton, “What kind of jam is that in the centre there?”

“That one, I think, is… hmm. Let me see.” Patton squinted. “I’m pretty sure that that one is blackberry and pomegranate.”

“Well then!” That settled it — knowing now that his favourite flavour was among the many types of jam, Logan couldn’t not take one. Passing up blackberry-pomegranate Crofter’s was simply not an option. “That’s very kind of you, Patton. I can assure you I’d appreciate nothing more.” So saying, Logan moved to snag a cookie off the plate.

…Before realizing, a little too late, that both his hands were full. Awkwardly, Logan tried to bend down so he could gently drop his textbook on the floor, but fumbled it in midair so it hit the ground with a heavy thump instead. As he reflexively reached for it, his water bottle slipped out from underneath his arm. Logan watched in exasperation as the rogue bottle rolled down the hall, carrying the rest of Logan’s dignity with it, before finally bumping to a stop several feet away.

Well, at least his hands were free.

Though his cheeks were burning, Logan was able to take comfort in the delicious-smelling plate of baked goods being presented to him. “Thank you very much, Patton, for your generosity,” Logan said, grabbing the cookie he’d wanted off the plate and trying hard to pretend that he hadn’t just made an utter fool of himself (again).

Patton, to his credit, had the good grace not to comment on Logan’s embarrassing moment. The younger boy beamed as he replied, “It’s no problem at all! I love sharing the food I make.”

That seemed to be the end of the conversation. With a nod, Logan went to scoop up his belongings, then turned to leave, eager to get out of there and put all of his recent buffoonery behind him.

He could feel Patton’s eyes following him as he went.

Sure enough, just before he turned the next corner to draw himself out of sight, Logan was stopped in his tracks by the sound of Patton crying out: “Wait! Wait, Logan, don’t go!”

Ugh, so close, Logan thought, debating whether he should pretend as if he hadn’t heard Patton or not. But he was starting to find that the boy was cleverer than he looked, and most likely wouldn’t be fooled — only hurt.

Logan turned to see Patton staring after him, one hand stretched out in his direction, mouth hanging slightly ajar. “I’m sorry, do you need something else from me, Patton?”

He was trying to keep the irritation out of his voice — he really was! But judging by the way Patton’s reaching fingers drooped, Logan couldn’t have been too successful.

“I just, uh…” Patton fumbled, seeming uncertain, as if even he didn’t know what had compelled him to call out like that. After a moment of stammering, he gestured vaguely at the cookie Logan now held. “I was... hoping that you could maybe take a bite of that right now. So I could get your feedback, you know? Because, um, I’m always looking for new ways to improve my baking, and… stuff. No pressure or anything, but I would —” In his doubt, Patton’s voice cracked. He coughed, then took a deep breath before completing his thought all in a rush of words: “I would really, really love to see what you think right as you’re taking the first bite, because that’s always the most genuine reaction. If that makes sense. I’m sorry, does that make any sense? Sorry.” As he finished speaking, Patton looked away with a slight cringe, as if already expecting a ‘no’.

Oh. That’s it? Logan’s shoulders lifted in an indifferent shrug — it was a simple enough request, after all — as he laid his belongings back down, save for the small thumbprint cookie at the core of all of this fuss and nonsense. “Very well.”

(The surprised smile he received in response was almost blinding in its brightness. Which seemed to Logan a disproportionate amount of excitement, but who was he to judge?)

With practiced precision, Logan bit the sweet treat almost perfectly in half to ensure the optimal jam-to-cookie ratio. Then, thoughtfully, he began to chew.

Understand, now: Logan was no food critic. But the young man had eaten enough thumbprint cookies in his life to know what he liked and what he disliked. And, well…

Patton’s baking, suffice it to say, easily fell on the “liking” side.

From what little Logan knew about the crumbly confection, thumbprint cookies were a relatively simple recipe to prepare. He’d even tried to bake a few of his own once. He’d set off the smoke alarm and startled his fathers half to death in the process, sure, yet still they had come out of the oven edible enough. The ingredients were simple, too: some butter. Brown sugar. Eggs. All-purpose flour, half a teaspoon of vanilla extract, a pinch of salt, a couple of walnuts for garnish, and of course, a spoonful (sometimes more) of Crofter’s jam in the middle of it all. Mix it all together, and bam! He had himself a delectable (albeit slightly burnt) dessert.

Patton’s cookies, though… they were on a whole other level. Objectively speaking, Logan wasn’t sure if it would be fair to call this ‘the best thumbprint cookie he’d ever had in his entire life’, but only because it was quite an impossible judgement to make; there were too many factors he’d have to take into consideration and at the moment, Logan cared to consider nothing more than the flavours of butter and vanilla and Crofter’s-blackberry-and-pomegranate jam exploding across his tongue.

The cookie was soft and powdery, but not so much so that there was no texture to it. The sugar levels were perfect — neither too sweet nor too bland. The vanilla extract underscored all the other flavours with a richness that was noticeable but not overpowering.

And the Crofter’s.

Good gracious, the Crofter’s.

Logan didn’t even remember putting the other half of the cookie in his mouth until he was already swallowing.

“So?” Patton’s voice, equal parts flustered, agitated, and excited, snapped Logan back to reality. “Is it — is it okay? Did I do good? Oh, no, wait, did I overdo the butter? I was worried about that but by the time I realized that I might have put in too much it was already mixed in and I couldn’t exactly reach in and pull it out of the batter anym—”

“Patton,” Logan broke in softly.

The boy seemed to choke. “Um. Yes?”

“I… That was…”

For the first time in forever, Logan found himself at a loss for words. Praise never really had been his strong suit to begin with; now, the ever-logical boy wasn’t even certain he possessed the vocabulary to describe what he was feeling inside. He cast about for adjectives, eventually landing on the first one to come to mind:

“... adequate. Thank you.”

For some reason, no sooner than the words left his mouth, Patton visibly deflated. Huh? Logan had given a compliment, hadn’t he? So why did the person on the receiving end appear so upset?

“Oh. ‘Adequate.’ Okay… There’s, um, there’s some room for improvement there, huh?” Patton said, managing a weak laugh.

Logan’s eyebrows shot up at the sound of it. “Ah, no — no no no. You misunderstand, Patton, I didn’t mean to imply your baking to somehow be ‘barely enough’. I thought it was delicious, actually. Very impressive.”

"Do you really mean that, though?”

“Do you think I would lie to you?” replied Logan. “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. You have a remarkably high degree of skill. The jam-to-cookie ratio? Simply divine! And don’t even get me started on...” As Logan continued to speak, matter-of-factly listing off the good things he’d noticed as he ate, he gestured with his free hand to help articulate his points. And with every wave of his wrist, the dejected boy before him seemed to perk up a little more. Patton was positively glowing by the time Logan finished.

It took him a moment to find his voice, though. “Logan, I can’t believe…” And when he did, it was barely above a whisper. “That’s — that was so nice.”

Logan began to reply before stopping and squinting carefully. Were those tears in Patton’s eyes? “Patton, are you okay?”

“More than okay. I just…” Patton paused, composed himself. “You just caught me off guard; no one’s ever said so much about my baking. Or anything I do, really. So, it — um, it means a lot. Especially coming from someone like you.”

Logan wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Was he supposed to apologise? No, Patton appeared to be happy, if a little overwhelmed. So… what, did that mean, then? Should he try to come up with something else to talk about? Or perhaps he was supposed to exit the conversation now. He’d done what Patton had requested, after all, and Patton seemed to be satisfied with the results. Plus, if he wanted to get any work done this period, now was probably the time to do so.

(Ugh, Logan thinks. This is exactly why I try to avoid social interaction.)

Luckily, he was spared from having to make the decision when Patton went ahead and made it for him. Whether or not that was because Patton had taken notice of Logan’s unease, the older boy wasn’t certain, but he was grateful nonetheless.

The boy with the cookies gave Logan a crooked smile as he said, “I won’t hold you up any longer. You’ve probably got somewhere to be right now. You were on your way to the library when I interrupted you, right?”

Logan’s surprise must have shown on his face, because Patton chuckled. Balancing the plate of cookies on one hand, he pointed at Logan’s laptop and Science textbook with the other.

“I noticed you had a bunch of homework-related stuff with you, and since the library is really close to the Home Ec corridor, I thought…” He shrugged.

“I — well, you thought right. Quite an astute observation, Patton.”

“Didn’t think I was capable of drawing inferences like that, did ya?”

Logan blinked. “I’m almost even more surprised that you knew and accurately utilised the word inferences,” he confessed.

“I know big words too! Sssssaxophone…” Patton began to number off items on his fingers before seeming to remember what he’d been saying. “Anyway, I’ll let you go now, Logan. These cookies aren’t gonna hand themselves out.”

Logan nodded. A quick glance at his watch told him that if he left for the library now, he’d have just enough time to finish reading the textbook pages he needed to go over, and perhaps if he really hurried he would be able to get started on the review questions as well. “I suppose I’ll see you around then.”

“Yep! Uh, before you leave, though, did you maybe want to grab another cookie?” asked Patton. “Help yourself, I’ve got plenty. Enough that I probably won’t even be able to get rid of all of these by the end of the break, and I don’t think that Mrs. Lauren would like it very much if I showed up to Math class with a whole bunch of leftovers and nowhere to put them.” Patton held out the plate again as he spoke, genuinely hopeful. He wasn’t just offering out of courtesy, apparently; for whatever reason, Patton really did want Logan to have another one (or two or four).

And, looking at the wonderful variety of Crofter’s jam still on display and free for the taking, Logan would have hated to disappoint.

“If you insist…”

***

Silverware clinked against silverware in the Berrys’ dining room that evening, softly punctuating the amicable chatter drifting back and forth between bites of their meal. Well, it was mostly Logan’s dad who was doing the chatting, to be fair; his pop always had been the quieter of the pair.

That wasn’t to say that Logan and his pop never spoke, of course. In fact, every night, without fail, his pop would ask the same thing: “Anything interesting happen at school today?”

An invitation to talk. Not a command. His pop always gave him a choice, a fact which Logan was not ungrateful for; the amount of mutual respect between father and son in his family wasn’t exactly the norm, he knew, and he loved them dearly for it.

Most nights, Logan’s choice was to politely decline with a vague statement — no no, nothing much, same old same old... Neither Logan’s pop nor his dad would push for any more details after that; their teen kid needed his privacy, after all. The conversation would quickly return to Seth and Toby’s comfortable back-and-forth, with Logan occasionally jumping in where he saw fit, all the way until their plates were empty and their stomachs full. One of them would bring the dishes to the sink and wash them. Someone else would wipe the table. The last person remaining packed up the leftovers, and life went on as normal.

Not tonight, though.

At first, Logan hadn’t considered his lunch-hour conversation with Patton to be anything really worth noting; it was a break from his regular schedule, for sure, but the strange, stammering exchange didn’t exactly count as life-changing (although the cookies might have been). Yet as the day dragged on, he found his thoughts drifting back to that same conversation over and over and over again. It was only after the final bell of the day had already sounded that Logan understood why.

As gratifying as it had been to see Patton so pleased after receiving Logan’s feedback, the logical-minded boy couldn’t help but feel like Patton had responded with a disproportionate amount of enthusiasm when he took into consideration the minimal amount of praise he’d actually given. Patton may not have cried, but Logan could recall seeing tears brimming in Patton’s eyes and knew that the boy had definitely come close!

That said, though… just as he’d previously acknowledged, emotions were definitely not Logan’s strong suit. So had Patton’s reaction truly been an overreaction, or — as could very well be the case — was Logan just even less skilled at reading people than he thought?

In order to properly figure out what had happened at lunch, Logan would need a second opinion.

He could think of no better candidates than his fathers.

Logan trusted his dad and pop more than anyone else in the world. Both were incredibly clever people — not to mention compassionate, kind, and patient. If anyone could help him work this question of his out, it would be them.

So when pop asked Logan the usual question, anything interesting happen at school today?, Logan gathered his thoughts and responded, “Actually, yes.”

His parents hadn't been expecting that — Logan could tell from the way that the two of them paused, his dad’s fork still halfway to his open mouth and a stalk of celery speared on its tongs. Toby ignored it in favour of making eye contact with his husband. As something unspoken passed between them, Logan watched on in… not quite amusement, but something like that.

He’d always thought it curious that his fathers shared a strong enough bond to be able to hold full conversations using only facial expressions. In fact, had Logan not so often seen these conversations in action first-hand, he likely wouldn’t have believed it possible. With the English language — and indeed, any other language in the world — as intricately put together as it was, the idea that one might need no language at all to communicate seemed almost fantastical in nature.

And yet...

The first time that Logan had noticed his fathers staring silently at each other across the room like this, the then-much-younger boy had put down his toy train immediately and wandered over to tug on his pop’s sleeve. Pop, he'd asked, why are you looking at dad all weird?

To which Seth had scooped the boy up onto his lap, replying with an affectionate smile: Oh, we’re just having a little chat, little Lo.

No you’re not! You're not talking at all! Logan had insisted with a surprising amount of vehemence. If you're talking, how come your mouths aren’t moving, huh? You’re just making silly faces at each other, and that's that. He had sat up straight on his father’s lap as he finished talking, proud of his amazing powers of observation.

On the other side of the room, Dad chuckled. Well, yes, it’s true that usually people talk with their mouths, but your pop and I are special. You know why, Logan?

Curiosity piqued at the sly expression on his father’s face, Logan had asked, Why?

A conspiratorial whisper: Because we’ve got superpowers!

What? No way, those aren't real! ...Are they?

Are too. Your pop and I, we can talk to each other by using our brainwaves to send these, uh.... these super-special, super-secret mental messages. But don’t tell anyone, okay?

Dad, that’s so cool! I wanna learn how to do men… mint tall… minty messages, too! Logan had slid right off of his pop’s legs and bounded over to the other side of the living room as fast as his chubby little legs could carry him. Eyes wide and shining as he looked up at his dad, Logan had asked, Can you teach me how to do the minty messages?

In answer, Toby had reached out and hoisted his young son up to sit on the couch next to him, fondly mussing up Logan's hair a little before looking him very seriously in the eye. Are you sure you’re ready to learn, Logan? The ancient art of my minty messages is a very important practice that goes way back, all the way to your great, great, great, many-greats grandmother… Darth Vader.

He'd puffed out his cheeks. Come on, dad, be serious! he scoffed (as well as a four-year-old boy could scoff, anyway). You can't trick me — Darth Vader's not my granny. Or else we'd all have lightsabers and live on the moon. The boy nodded to himself, completely satisfied with his irrefutable logic.

You’re right, you’re right. Always keeping me in check, aren't you, pipsqueak? A loving pinch caused Logan to dissolve into a fit of giggles. When he calmed down, dad told him, Okay, you passed my test. I’m going to tell you the secret to sending my minty messages ...

Logan had held his breath as his dad bent down to whisper. The secret , he confessed, is love.

The young analyst’s face had instantly scrunched up in confusion. Love? How does that work?

Well, you see, piped up pop, jumping back into the conversation as he saw where his husband was taking it, your dad and I love each other very much — more than we love anything else in the entire world!

(Except maybe Halloween, Toby said under his breath.)

So we have a very special connection that lets us talk to each other even when we’re not saying anything. This is very serious magic, Logan. It doesn’t just instantly appear at first sight; it takes time, and it takes work. And it might be a long time before you meet someone willing to work for it with you, but don’t worry if that’s the case, kiddo — I promise that one day, you will meet someone who loves and understands you so much that you can talk to them with just one look.

Every connection looks different, by the way, added Toby. Your pop and I share one kind of love, but there’s a whole bunch of different types out there that are all just as good! Maybe the person who you grow close to will be a really, really good friend. Maybe they’ll be something a little different than friends. Maybe they won’t just be one person, but lots! Whoever they might be, though, your whole life is gonna change when you find ‘em.

And then I’ll be able to make the minty messages?

A fond chuckle. And then you’ll be able to make the minty messages. I promise.

Though Logan typically did his best to forget about how badly he’d butchered the word ‘mental’, those last sentences had stuck with the boy as he grew older. Through the years, he would find comfort in the promise of someday having someone by his side who he could talk to without struggle — who’d take the time to listen to him — who’d take the time to understand him.

Recently, though, he’d been wondering if maybe it was too good to be true… as someone inexperienced both in giving and receiving love, it was difficult to imagine any reason that anyone should put up with Logan for even a second longer than they needed to.

And yet in spite of it all, Logan knew he’d never stop hoping to meet someone who would care for him as deeply as his fathers cared for each other. Though he had long since stopped actively searching for a friend as true as the one his dad had described, he doubted he’d ever be able to shake the idea for good (so deep did Logan’s trust in his fathers run, he’d believe blindly and without hesitation even the most outlandish of promises coming from one of them).

In the meantime, though, Logan had someone else on his mind: not the best friend of his dreams, perhaps, but considering how glad they’d seemed to see him, they might as well have been. Logan waited for his fathers to finish their silent discussion so he could continue.

He didn’t need to wait much. With both dad and pop beyond thrilled to be granted this rare glimpse into their son’s thoughts, it wasn’t long before both sets of eyes turned to face him. “Well, go right ahead then. Tell us what’s on your mind,” Logan’s dad said, trying to conceal his eagerness by keeping his tone even.

It didn’t quite work, but Logan appreciated the effort.

“I saw my student Patton Foley at school for the first time today. During lunch hour. It… well, suffice it to say, it was an interesting encounter. And admittedly a little confusing.” Logan paused.

“Mhm?” Resting his chin in the palm of his hand, Seth’s thoughtful nodding prompted his son to go on. “And why’s that, huh?”

“Because it seems that each time I see Patton, he becomes a completely different person,” Logan began. “The way his personality just keeps rapidly developing so unpredictably, well… I can’t say it’s bad, but odd is a good word for it. The first time I met him at the library, for example, he was — how do I describe this?”

“With adjectives,” Toby supplied helpfully.

“Ah. Well then: disorganised, bothersome, and incompliant , to name a few. He had trouble focusing and listening, and was apparently unaware of what a nuisance his obnoxiously cheerful chatter must have been to everyone around us. It was only after I gave him a stern talking to that he managed to stay quiet for long enough that I could get out full sentences without being interrupted.”

His dad grimaced. “Sounds like a real piece of work.”

“Yes, that’s what I thought too. But you see, during our second session it was like he did a complete one-eighty. He listened attentively, but I barely heard his voice even once, besides right at the beginning of our session when he was apologising for being late. Which was nice at first, until it became apparent we’d wasted half the session because he was too shy to ask questions. I don’t think I saw him smile a single time either.”

“Huh… how about the third session?”

“Well, I didn’t get a headache for once, so interpret that how you’d like?” Logan shrugged. “I mean, he was very polite, which of course was an improvement. And he somehow managed to show up at the library even earlier than I did. His focus once we got down to business was unprecedented, he asked questions when he was confused just like I’d told him to do, he was… to put it simply, I don’t think it would be much of a stretch to call that specific version of Patton a ‘model student’. Where it came from, I haven’t the foggiest. I can only hope I’ll get to see it again.

“Then finally, there was today. I… still haven’t quite wrapped my head around today’s Patton, to be frank. He laughed freely, he seemed comfortable to just chat, and he even offered me some delicious thumbprint cookies that he had just finished baking! There were still moments where he appeared to be nervous, yes, but they were few and far between, and somehow felt different — like a completely separate kind of nervous. Mostly, he seemed to simply be… happy.”

At the last word, Logan’s pop perked up hopefully. “Well, that’s good, right?”

"Too happy,” amended Logan. “I mean falling-all-over-himself-with-glee kind of happy. I complimented his baking, sure, but hardly sugarcoated anything, so it seemed odd that he would take it to heart so much. That’s why I’m telling you all this, I guess — I’m hoping that you can help me figure the boy out!”

As Logan finished his explanation, he suddenly became aware his food must be growing cold. He hadn’t been expecting to talk so much, or for so long, but Logan supposed his words had gotten away from him and he’d begun…

Rambling.

Perhaps all of the prolonged Patton-exposure was having more of an impact on his behaviour than Logan had thought.

The good news was, neither of his fathers minded his long-windedness very much. Or at all, in fact. It wasn’t often that they had their son open up to them so thoroughly, and with so little prompting to boot. Seth and Toby intended to make the most of every second of this little advice session.

The bad news? Neither had any idea where to start.

Nevertheless, Logan’s fathers were determined to try. Toby began by asking for more details. “So… freshly baked cookies, huh?” he started, trying for a conversational tone (with dubious results). “Could I hear a little more about that? I mean, I kind of know what structure you guys like to follow during your tutoring sessions, but at lunch anything goes, so the only way I’m going to get an idea of what happened today is if you tell me directly.” Logan’s dad was careful to use phrases like could I and if you as he spoke, subtle reminders that Logan was under no kind of obligation to share any of these details if he didn’t want to. Sure, they would be helpful in ‘figuring out’ Patton, but Logan’s privacy and comfort was the priority here.

It turned out that Toby really had no need to be so careful with his word choice, though; amazingly, Logan didn’t hesitate before blazing right on ahead. He must be really determined to work this thing out, marvelled Toby. He couldn’t for the life of him remember the last time that Logan had spoken so freely about personal matters like this.

“Of course — today, during lunch, I was on my way to the library like usual to get some work finished early, but I had taken a detour and so I was a few minutes delayed.” Logan recounted the events of the afternoon so methodically, his dad couldn’t help but wonder if he’d been rehearsing this. “During this time, I assume, Patton was in his Home Economics classroom loading up a plate full of extra cookies he had just finished baking. I just happened to be passing by the Tech and Home Ec wing when Patton came out as well. We narrowly avoided collision, then naturally got to chatting as he recognized me, and I, him. It was then that I accidentally made a p—”

Logan’s eyes widened.

“I mean, uh…”

“Sorry, you accidentally made a what?” His pop’s head was tilted at a slight angle, the very image of innocence and curiosity. “I didn’t quite catch that last bit, you kind of trailed off.”

Oh my goodness, he’s really going to make me say it, isn’t he. Logan pressed his lips together, staring up at the ceiling as if it might provide some sort of escape from the hole he’d accidentally dug himself into, before ducking his head and shamefully finishing his sentence. “I accidentally made a… pun.”

The delighted gasp that followed, Logan couldn’t say he wasn’t expecting, but it certainly didn’t sting any less for it.

“You made a — Logan! That’s my boy!” On the other side of the table, Logan heard rather than saw his dad light up. “Grab the camera, Seth, this is a moment for the scrapbook. No, forget the scrapbook, I’m going to carve a plaque to commemorate this day! I’ll do it, I swear. Just watch me!”

“Yep, okay, thanks dad,” Logan sighed, very much wishing he could bury his head in the floorboards. “More to the point, that’s, uh, that’s pretty much how Patton reacted. He noticed it right away, even before I did, and just started laughing and laughing — but not in a mean-spirited sort of way. As if he was laughing with me, not at me, if that makes sense. Except I wasn’t laughing. But that’s not important.” Logan gave his wrist a flick, as if batting away the irrelevant dialogue. “Anyway, I wanted to change the subject after that. For obvious reasons. So I asked him about the thumbprint cookies on his plate, and he offered me one. And I was going to say no, really, since I had work to do, but — well, by then a pretty decent amount of time had already passed us by.” A brief pause. “Not to mention... they were baked with Crofter’s. So, you know, I could hardly say no.”

Both fathers nodded knowingly at that. (The fondness for the fruit spread ran in the family; had either of them been in Logan’s shoes, they would have done the same.) “Go on.”

Logan obliged, walking his fathers through the rest of the lunch period in a similarly systematic fashion. “...so there you have it,” he finally concluded. “I made some humiliating mistakes and gave him a compliment or two; in return, Patton very nearly cried with joy. I mean, who knew that such buffoonery would bear fruit so — so divine?”

“Bear fruit , huh?” His pop pointed a cheeky finger. ”Dad joke?”

“Never mind, this was a mistake.”

"Wait, no! I’ll be serious, I swear. Look, maybe, uh...” Seth trailed off as he realized he didn’t know what he was getting at. “Maybe —“

“Maybe the poor kid’s just so used to hearing you lecture him like a mean old teacher that a handful of nice words were enough to make his day,” supplied Toby, not too seriously. “Back off a little bit, eh? Else, he’s gonna start thinking you hate him, and you’ll have no one but yourself to blame...”

“Wh — Toby!”

“I’m joking, relax! Logan, you know I’m just joking, right?”

No answer.

“Lo?”

“Actually...” Logan began.

Because joking or not, there was a ring of truth to his dad’s words.

Maybe he was being too hard on Patton. It made sense: earlier today, Patton had said that Logan’s compliment meant a lot ‘coming from someone like you’. Logan hadn’t quite understood the implications at the time, but…

Someone cold. Someone distant. Someone unfriendly, someone who never even gave friendship a thought, someone who spat in the very face of it. Someone like me. That was how he was perceived by most people, wasn’t it? Which, up until now, had been all well and good with him.

So why did the thought that Patton might share the same sentiments make him feel so bad?

Before Logan could answer that question, his dad’s concerned voice broke into his thoughts. “Logan? Logan, bud, please don’t be mad, I really was just messing with you! I didn’t mean to imply I know how to do your job better than —”

“What I was going to say was, I think you might be onto something, dad,” Logan interrupted.

“I... huh? What do you mean?”

But once again, there was no answer. Logan was already deep in thought as he picked up his fork to resume eating, effectively ending the conversation — much to the very vocal confusion of his dad.

(His husband eventually quieted his loud protests when he laid a hand on his shoulder, quietly murmuring, “Give it up, love, you won’t get through to him like this. Look.” Seth nodded to their son. “See? He’s already tuned you out. You know what happens when Logan gets an idea in his head; he just takes it and runs with it, that boy does, and…”)

Something in his mind clearly set Patton apart from others, Logan knew; now, if he could only figure out what , perhaps he’d have his answer.

Well, he knew who he was in Patton’s eyes, at least. Maybe it was time to reflect on the reverse.

Where Logan was cold, Patton was warm. Logan was distant; Patton, approachable. Kind. Willing to change. Friendly, and really genuinely interested in making friends, it seemed. In other words, Patton was —

Everything I wish to be —

— everything Logan was not, that is. And wasn’t that just something strange?

(Nodding, Toby finished his husband’s sentence: “…once he’s in the zone, there’s hardly anything that can get him out,” he said, laughing a little at himself. “You’re right. As always. How do you do that?”)

This could nicely explain why Logan felt he wasn’t being as effective as possible in his teaching, as well. He’d been approaching these sessions all wrong; he’d been teaching based on how he’d like to learn, rather than what Patton actually needed.

Logan was a student of measurements, after all — of facts, and figures, and careful calculations. But when it came to Patton, he could only guess. And guess what?... Logan did not like guessing games.

He’d need to, though. He’d need to figure out Patton’s own learning style, instead of trying to force the boy to conform to his own, if he ever wanted this tutoring arrangement to work.

(Seth shrugged. “It’s pretty simple, hon, I just spend less time talking and more time watching. I mean, how lucky am I to have a husband who can take care of the chatter for me?”)

And to do that, Logan would need to step way out of his own comfort zone. How could he ever properly understand his student if he wasn’t willing to contribute a little companionship himself?

Efficiency be damned — Logan was going to do his job, and he was going to do it properly. And if that meant he’d need to put in a little extra work to figure out how to achieve a healthy balance between both schooling and sympathy, then so be it!

(“Goodness gracious me, you really are perfect,” sighed Toby. “Promise me you’ll never change.”)

To be quite frank, Logan probably should have drawn this conclusion a lot sooner. Had he not only recently been reading those fascinating articles about positive and negative reinforcement?

In Patton’s specific case, yes, achieving a close and intimate emotional connection was without a doubt the best way to create an ideal learning environment because of how emotional the boy was — but the strict and unkind way that Logan had been approaching his sessions wouldn’t have worked even if he had been paired with someone much less touchy-feely, he realized now.

Time and time and time again it had been proven that when it came to motivation via either offering a reward for good behaviour and threatening a punishment for undesirable behaviour, the reward almost always worked out better for the subject in the long run. Didn’t that mean that praising a student when they did well would be ultimately much more effective than scolding the same student for failing to understand a concept?

(Seth scoffed in disbelief. “Me? Perfect? Ha!” He leaned in as if sharing a sensitive secret. “Have you even looked at yourself?”)

It was all so clear. The conversation that he’d had with Patton during lunch today only served as further proof that —

(“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re clearly the superior one here.” Toby and Seth’s faces were very close together now. “And I’ll bet you anything that you’re the better kisser, too.”)

Ahem. Further proof that Logan’s teaching methods were —

(“Oh, is that right. That’s an awfully bold claim, you know… are you sure it’ll be able to follow through?”)

Were — were due for some —

(“Why don’t we put it to the test and find out —?”)

Unable to stand it any longer, Logan suddenly slammed his fork down. “Dad! Pop!” His parents pulled apart with a jolt. “Can’t you at least wait for me to leave the table? Your son is right here, you know.”

Toby rubbed his knee, which had smacked against the bottom of the table in his surprise, while Seth gave their son a guilty smile. “Right. Sorry, Logan. I, uh, guess we forgot ourselves for a second there?”

Rolling his eyes at his fathers’ antics, Logan scraped the last bit of food off of his plate to ensure that nothing was wasted. “May I be excused? Immediately.”

“Of… of course,” responded Logan’s pop, still a little sheepish. “Don’t worry about the dishes; your dad and I are going to stay here and finish eating at our own pace, so you can just wash your own plate and we’ll take care of the rest.”

Translation: Your dad and I are going to stay here and probably make out with each other over the table as soon as there’s a wall safely separating us from you. Logan made a face — how shameless they are, he thought — but did what he was told without complaint.

Later, once he’d found a seat on one of the many beanbag chairs in his bedroom, Logan returned his focus to the topic he’d been reflecting on before his fathers’ antics had distracted him. Positive and negative reinforcement… Ah, yes.

The conversation that he’d had with Patton during lunch today only served as further proof that Logan’s teaching methods were due for some change. After having seen firsthand how positively Patton reacted to praise, perhaps Logan ought to give a little more of it during his next session. It couldn’t hurt, right?

Wrong, Logan realized. The increased effectiveness of his teaching was going to come at a price, and a hefty one at that: in order to achieve all that he was setting out to do, he would need to come face-to-face with — ugh —

"Feelings, the bane of my existence,” Logan grumbled.

***

[next chapter]

General: @surleytemple @starryfirefliesbloggo @icecoldparadise @lyditist @fandom-random2405 @beach-fan @ihateitwhenyourejustvague @starryeyedhomicide @unring-this-bell @flix-net @pheonix-inside @thelowlysatsuma @residentanchor @sanderstalker

AAmour: @romanticsanders @thatrandomautist @mirror2thespirit @pokii-jonas @basicmillennial @starlitparfait @littleladynightshade @insert--self--hatred

#logan sanders #patton sanders #logicality #prinxiety #sanders sides #spectral scribbes #spec made something #A is for Amour #aamour #tw food mention #tw food

42 notes · View notes

lockdownuk · 5 years ago

Text

Lockdown Diary Part 1

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 1: Last night Boris called it, today we’re doing it. I had started working from home (wfh) yesterday as had most people at my work (RCI)..last week I had been preparing laptops as fast as poss for everyone. Even just today, the idea of going into work seems alien and dangerous. Now lockdown (ld) means that it would soon be illegal to do so unless utterly necessary.

Online, FaceBook (fb) especially, is awash with reaction…a lot of calling out people who are out and about in greater numbers than 2, which is against ld rules.

Day 2: Just trying to let work occupy my thoughts and time which is easy enough ‘cos everyone I support (IT engineer) is new to wfh and is having teething problems with all the new laptops. Meanwhile, I keep abreast of comings and goings online…actually socially interacting more than I might otherwise, weirdly

Day 3: Highlight of the day is an online quiz organised by a chap called Jay Flynn on fb…a bunch of us took it as individuals while chatting on Messenger while Jay streamed quiz over fb live and YouTube. It was a good crack and I had two cans of Coors Light which got me pissed!

Day 4: Work is still mad - so many people with IT issues wfh…it’s challenging trying resolve all these probelms remotely but I am rising to it. I actually enjoy it. It satisfies my want for problem-solving.

The ld is in full swing but it’s very early days. The news is dominated, obviously, by Covid-19 and the ever changing stats of infections and deaths. Today, for example, the USA took over, from China, as the country with the most infections. I know there will be an end to all this and I am determined to be there, going out, getting pissed down the pub, gigging, shaking hands with my mates, hugging anyone and everyone who’ll let me - it’ll be a proper party. But I am filled with a dread that it’s going to be a fucking long time coming.

This evening was spent virtually with Foggy, Ham and Andy P…doing a quiz - a rehearsal for Foggy in the hope of doing one to a wider audience next week. It was good fun and great to have a few beers chatting with everyone, Later I video called Fog and we drank ‘til gone midnight, putting the world to rights. I was well pissed.

Day 5: First non-work day of the ld. Housework, daily walk, out for supplies (drop a script order off…queuing outside boots for 15 minues!, bread, baccy and booze). This evening, I’m listening to the next album in NME list of 1985 albums I’m working through - Grace Jones Slave to the Rhythm…fucking pain in the arse ‘cos it’s not on Spotify so I am searching for each song, in order, on YouTube. Plus eating and drinking, of course. Quick video chat with karen and Grace, Dan in the background. I wanted a tin of kidney beans for chilli but Karen hasn’t got one ffs. Burger it is. They are all playing scrabble - I’d love to join in…

Day 6: A quiet day…housework, cooking, daily walk. Highlight was a half hour chinwag with dad who, as I would expect, despite his 84 years, is coping and doing just fine. Most other people with a dad that age would have, on top of their own concerns, something more to worry about during this crisis….for me, it feels like I’ve got someone to turn to, should I need to.

Day 7: Work is starting to feel more routine but it’s a long way off being in the office, which is never routine anyway. That may seem surprising since I do IT support but it’s a varied role, especially at the modern dinosaur of an organisation that is RCI. I try to be as disciplined as possible but I miss not dressing for work, not driving to work, not needing to actually prepare lunch (until lunchtime). I don’t actually need to shower every morning. I don’t think I have to ordinarily but do because I’m mixing with others in the office. I certainly don;t need to now. I only mix with me, so showering becomes a chore but I’m doing it every other morning in the name of the aforementioned discipline. I am worried how long RCI can keep going before laying staff off. I dread being out of work full stop, let alone during this ld, or even thereafter. I think the economies of the world will need time to recover so finding work will be tough à la 2008. I think, if lay-offs were to occur, I’d be in real danger. Last in first out and all that. But, I’ll cross that bridge if and when I come to it.

Day 8: At work there was a large online meeting whereby the MD told us that RCI are going to furlough some staff. The UK, and Ireland staff will be consulted this coming Thursday and Friday (it’s Tuesday today). I shall be reading up on what the furlough arrangements are in the UK due to Covid-19. I know the government have set aside some money, I need to know what I might get paid and how to claim it. In the past, when I’ve been out of work, I’ve been entitled to jack shit other than JSA, This time around, should I be laid off as I expect, I might not have to eat into my savings, fingers crossed. Meanwhile, I have decided to knock up another blog with a photo of myself each day of the ld (from now on) - it’s a sister to this diary.

Day 9: Actually typing this on day 10. Yesterday was a strange day as I contemplate being furloughed (hope for the best, expect the worst)…I’d be paid 80% of my wage according to what the government have said to assist in the Covid-19 crisis…so, were that to be true, I’d be OK money-wise, although still earning way less than I want to prepared for retirement (I am currently still waiting for feedback on a pay increase request I put in at work last year!) I’m more worried about how I would fill my day if I wasn’t working. So, that being said, I flopped and moped about all yesterday evening after my daily walk and, without achieving much at all, didn’t find time to write this entry on the right day…so maybe I can fill my days without much effort!

Day 10: I was furloughed today, starting 5pm tomorrow (Friday 3rd April) and it’s fucked me off. I know it’s not personal but, actually, do I? They’re cutting back the Kettering Desktop team by one, redacted It seems obvious to do this by the ‘last in, first out’ maxim but what about money? others are on more than me (redacted). What about offering it voluntarily - others might go for 80% pay for fuck all - others have family at home to occupy the day ��(redacted) . A little bit of me thinks it might be preferable furlough me (redacted) …others seems to be a favourite and that annoys me. It annoys me because I think I shoot myself in the foot too often. I’m too vocal about some of the (redacted) decisions and practices at work, plus other reasons that I know but can’t be bothered to type. But, my point, is I don’t play the politically correct, corporate game and therefore forget to look out for my own best interests. FUCK.

So, as of tomorrrow evening, I’ve no work to do. The challenge will be to find a way to occupy my day. I’ve already registered to volunteer for the NHS during the ld…let’s see what becomes of that. And I’ve signed up for web development course. I’m going to get fucking pissed this w/e, starting early tomorrow evening.

Day 11: It’s day 12 as I am writing this entry…that might tell any reader, and remind me, that I did as I promised and got pretty drunk. I spent the day geting my work affairs in order i.e. clearing down support tickets assigned to me. I did a good job, nothing left to handover to the remaining team (Jim, Cristina and Mark) and onky one ticket put into the assigned pool. Some nice converstaions were had with associates, many of whom are, too, being furloughed. Nice words were said and Jim and Mark both were supportive in conversations and messages - they both know I don’t wnat this and, I think, they are both relieved it’s not happening to them. 5 pm arrives and I shutdown my work laptop for the last time for at least 12 weeks. After my daily walk, I video chat with Karen, crack open a beer, make Chinese chicken curry (fucking loads, fucking tasty), finish watching The National Theatre stream of One Man, Two Guvnors (really good, see twoinchreview) and the caught up with, and talked bollocks with Andy, Marc and Ham - we tried getting Rog in on it, no dice. I then watched The Heat (I fucking love that film), ate some more, smoked several single-skinners, drank, in total, three cans, seven bottles. I went to bed shortly after 4am. I felt resigned to my furlough and pleasantly wasted.

Day 12: A subdued day…didn’t wake until gone 1:30pm. Jaded but not really suffering. Mooched about, social media, listening to music, watching telly, farting about on the iPad. My daily walk, over the last fews days, has taken a twist…I am trying to run parts of it. Mainly short distances, 80-100m (I estimate) three, maybe four times. It’s fucking knackering me out. I used to run everywhere when I was a teen. Attempting to run now just makes me feel fucking old. Well, I am, so that’s about right.

Day 13: Another day like yesterday except I got up at 10:30 and didn’t feel jaded. The subdued feeling comes from the realsiation that the ld isn’t being treated as seriously as it should be across the board. The news and even posts by locals on FB (Oundle chatter group) suggest groups still meeting up. The weather this w/e has been a factor - 17°c today. I think a total ld will be enforced soon and that would fuck me off. My daily walk is pretty essential for me nowadays not least for the ‘good for your soul’ benefits that dad has always mentioned. Even today’s walk saw a car parked at the gates to the field on the way to Ashton and people on a blanket soaking up the sun, dogs off their leads and people (looked like a family) playing footy on South Road field. Individually they are not presenting any danger, what with the fact they are either living together or far away from others. But they are flaunting the rules and the more that happens the less likely they’ll carry on getting away with it, which will mean total ld for all! I finished the 50 1985 albums today. It mostly confirms to me that I only listened to two albums released that year (Kate Bush, The Waterboys) any other vinyl I spun would have already been in my collection pre-85.

The sausage casserole I made for tea was fucking lush - 4 birdeye chillies. I saw and spoke with Dan and Grace this morning, they were just coming back from a walk. I am pleased to fuck they are together and sorted out the issues they had earlier this year.

Day 14: My first day proper of furlough. Finished my two inch review of the NME 50 albums. Long chat with Rita, quick one with dad. Messaged Sam about Romiley’s present - she’s 10 on the 9th April (Thursday) - ordered some Lego thing from Amazon. Turned the car engine over (reminded myself the driver-side wing mirror is fucked) and moved it to another spot in the Co-op car park - bumped into Matt T. He’s struggling - no work coming in and he can’t claim any of the money on offer ‘cos he’s not being totally honest about his circumstances - made me realise I’m not that bad off…..but I feel depressed about it all, especially with the news that Boris has gone into intensive care.

Day 15: I began a diploma (?) course on web design with Shaw Academy (it was free). They have actual classes (which are recorded) which you schedule yourself. The first one was, I have to say, really interesting - I look forward to continuing. On my walk today, I saw a car parked at the gate to the field at the bottom of Riverside Close; it was branded with Cunninghams Estate Agent with a 01536 number. I am pretty sure I saw the driver walking her dog (unleashed) on the field. I took a photo and rang the number. Yes, I ratted the culprit out…fucking annoys me that I had to. Better than reporting to the police, all round. Hopefully her work will put a stop to her doing it and, the more people that adhere to the rules without the police getting wind of infractions, the more likely we’ll be able to continue to exercise away from home.

Day16: More online learning including checking out other sites (pluralsight) for more learning opportunities. Coded my first web page, basic but mine, in HTML and CSS. A few beers & smokes and watching White Boy Rick in the evening, interspersed with the usual social media / messaging shit, incuding this entry, of course!

Day 17: Typing this on Day 18. After a few beers last night while chatting with Fog (twice - the first chat ended with him ‘having’ to go to bed. Later, I noticed he was commenting on FB, so I video called him…round two of chatting!). I got quite fucking pissed. Bed around 4am.

Day18: Up at 1pm. Long walk today, 7 km. Anything over 40 minutes, I’ve realised, results in a hypo.

Day19: Well, having gone to bed at gone 5am I got up at nearly 1pm feeling far better than I should have. Breakfast followed by a walk, spoke with Karen (mowing her front lawn) and Dan. He and Grace have split up which is sad news but he seems OK. Went shopping (milk and sweets) and ended up with a shit load of booze, the post of which on FB was quite amusing. Homemade burgers for tea (they’re in the fridge as I type) - gonna try and make Five Guys…

Day20: The Five Guys burger attempt didn’t go as well as I wanted. I think less than 5% fat mince just doesn’t bind that well. However, I managed to get something resembling a burger into the bun and, with cheese, hot sauce and jalapeños, it was tasty enough. More of the same when I finish typing this entry. Strange Easter Day today, as I knew it would be. The best thing I saw today was a video Tom posted on FB of him and Molly doing a mashup of Starsailor and George Michael - Tom on guitar singing the former, Molly singing the latter. It was fucking fantatstic.

Day 21: Easter Monday. Surreal…it’s feeling very surreal now, this lockdown.

Two things that bother me right now:

i) The political point scoring on FB. I get it, I really do…people like to bring up ‘obvious’ failings in the party’s mistakes. For example, Marc posting comparisons between UK and Germany’s figures of cases and deaths due to Covid-19. I doesn’t make impressive reading for the government and it should be held accountable. But not fucking now!

ii) Will they introduce rotational furloughing at RCI? It’s only been a week, 11 to go. And, it bothers me that I was furloughed rather than Mark. Pathetic of me, I know! But, should it last the 12 week stretch, I want to go back to work and let someone else have the chance to have fuck all to do all day! That being said, I’m still learning web design through Shaw Academy. Even today, bank holiday, I revised Lesson 2.

Day22: Nice catchup with Dad today - he and Rita seem to be more than OK with lockdown. I actually cannot wait until we can meet up at The Farmers again!

Day 23: While I had a Corvee engineer come to the house today to do a gas safety check (I waited upstairs while he was here, self-isolation and all that), and had the fourth online web design lesson, had a trip to Boots to pick up insulin, got milk from Tesco’s, saw American Rachel and had a chat (while we both queued to get into Tesco’s) and had a very nice walk along a different route from the norm, in the pleasant sunshine and watched Contagion on Netflix - all today - I AM STILL BORED AS FUCK!

Day 24: I had plans for today - revise the last two lessons of Shaw Academy’s web design course, investigate a ethical hacking course, do some washing, clean upstairs (or at least the bathroom) plus all the usual stuff. Then, as a reward, have some beers. Well, guess what. I am not having beers this evening. I managed the laundry. Plus I manged to subtitle my YouTube perfect snabby video (something I have been meaning to do for a while, but, come on!) It took me fucking ages. But it is funny! So, a fucking far from fruitful day. Plus the government announced at least 3 more weeks of lockdown. There’ll be loads more, I reckon. Tomorrow…I promise I’ll be better tomorrow…

Day 25: I did do better! Firstly the Corveee man fucked the boiler which I only noticed late yesterday but still managed to get sorted today. I did some excellent revision and learning of HTML (tags) and CSS. I cleaned the bathroom and hall. And I discovered TikTok (fucking excellent dancing and funny vids) plus discovered a new FaceBook word game (Sam sent me an invite) called WordBlitz and I am pretty good. Having beers now (nearly 11pm).

Day 26: Today I found myself calling 111. I had a pain in my side last night, I thought it might be constipation! That not being the case (!), today I went to 111.nhs.uk and, following their questions, it recommended I seek out a GP straightaway. Once I let the website know that is not possible, it directed me to visit walk in centres. I spoke with Karen thereafter - for advice about whether it’s a good idea to enter such an establishment - I really don’t want to increase me chances of catching the Covid-19 virus. Karen recommended ringing 111 since the website does not take into account my diabetes (so bloody sensible a suggestion!)

After ringing and answering many questions, the lady said she’d get an OOHS GP to call. The doctor called soon after and it seems most likely I have a grumbling appendix (chronic appendicitis) and to ring again (well, 999) if the pain becomes unbearable.

I now have a bag at the ready for hospital which I really hope I don’t have to use. Today, I have, therefore, done fuck all - not even a walk - but I am having a beer now (midnight) and shall attempt to sleep as well as possible and hope this pain subsides naturally…

It occurs to me that I turn to Karen when things become flumoxing - my excuse, this time, is she works at the surgery but that was mere convenience.

Day 27: My ‘appendicitis pain was the same when I woke up (10:20) but no worse. I managed to change bed clothes and clean my bedroom but didn’t risk a walk (in case something drastic happens when I’m in a fucking field).

People’s responses and questions online have been heartening (Rachel Harris, Susie Grange, Bethan, Jo, Tracey Weber, Debbie De Prisco and, not least Dan). As the day progresses, I feel better but not right. I spoke with Dad about it and, as I told him, I shall ring Oundle GP tomorrow. Meanwhile, I did Sam Clew’s FB Live quiz, which was good, and am now having a beer or two.

Day 28: The pain in my side has definitley diminished. I called the Oundle surgery today to talk about what treatment I should have for ‘grumbling appendicitis’. The reseptionist organised a call back from a GP - Dr. Cash. Basically, he said he didn’t believe the condition existed, that acute appendicitis doesn’t happen after the age of 35, and ‘his gut felling’ is it will all just clear up.

I shall seek a more sensible diagnosis after lockdown and hope it doesn’t flare up again before then.

Day 29: I sent an email to the team at work today (Jim, Mark, Cristina and Sueanne). I hadn’t heard from them and I wanted to check in and, also, make a point that I will be posing the ‘rotational furlough’ question to HR at some point. It was as I wrote the email that I realised it’s only been two weeks and two days of furlough, and that includes Easter! Seems so much fucking longer. Anyway, everyone replied and it was good to hear from them….Mark came off his bike and broke ribs and collarbone! Lesson 5 of the Web Design course with Shaw Academy. It’s becoming apparent that, if you don’t pay for the course ‘toolkit’ it’s all rather patchy! The instructor dives into lines of code (HTML, CSS and Java) with no explanation….I feel like I did on the ifrst lesson of further maths ate Stamford School! I shall soldier on and beef up the missing parts with W3Schools (a great website and learning aid for coding). Two quick points. I am no longer running any part of my daily walk; hurts too much. I am addicted to Wordblitz and TikTok. Day30: I am writing this on day 31, I just forgot yesterday! It was a non eventful day. I did watch Midnight Run (again!) and had a couple of midweek beers though.

#diary #tumblr diary #lockdown #covid19 #lockdownuk

1 note · View note

recentanimenews · 6 years ago

Text

An Ode to SHIROBAKO!

Today marks the five-year anniversary of one of my favorite shows, SHIROBAKO! I still remember tuning into the first episode in the spirit of the new anime season, that special mix of hope and morbid curiosity. The beginning gave me what I expected, cute girls in high school making animation together for a school project. But then there's a time jump: two and a half years later, we meet one of those girls again on the road, hungry and frantic, listening to voice actors on the radio promoting the show she's working on as she races another production assistant across the mean streets of Tokyo to be the first to a freelance animator's apartment. You can almost see the staff of SHIROBAKO rubbing their hands together in glee. “Ha, you thought this was another treacly drama about high schoolers? This is a workplace sitcom, baby!!”

Despite its slice-of-life inclinations and cute character designs, SHIROBAKO is a fast-paced workplace comedy/drama in the vein of The Office and Scrubs. Except that instead of being set somewhere boring like an office or a hospital, it takes place in a down-on-its luck anime studio called Musani, staffed with employees who bear a suspicious resemblance to real-life figures in the industry.

The producer is an older man who cooks curry for his staff, just like industry legend Masao Maruyama; the director is a talented but very indecisive, and looks just like the director of 2003's Fullmetal Alchemist, Seiji Mizushima. Maybe it's this reason that while it aired, SHIROBAKO made a reputation for itself as being an invaluable resource to understanding how anime is created, an unsparing depiction of how the sausage is made.

Of course, the world of SHIROBAKO is a fantasy. It is a place where men take many shapes and sizes but women are all conventionally attractive; where dolls talk and animators hallucinate their characters while in the throes of creativity; where Musani's director can put on a cowboy hat at the studio's lowest point and snatch history from the jaws of defeat. This of course, is all to SHIROBAKO's benefit. The show is unapologetically a cartoon, about cartoons, and smarter people than me have already written about how it uses its medium as a fulcrum to leverage the power of animation to its best effect. But if Miyamori and her friends are larger than life, there's a grain of truth to them that those in the workplace will recognize. Like the plight of Shizuka Sakaki, who works a dead-end job while she frantically hustles behind the scenes to find the career she really wants. Or the animators at Studio Titanic, incentivized by an industry that prioritizes speed and quantity over quality to pump out shoddy work. Or Taro Takanashi, a production assistant so bad at his job that he must have been drawn from real life (and he was: according to the director, Taro was modeled on his own past self! At least he can admit it.)

SHIROBAKO still has a devoted fan following since airing, enough so that a movie sequel is on its way. I'll personally always love the show for its memorable characters, cheeky nods to anime history and the story's willingness to let its cast face real danger in their struggle to make art. But some have criticized the series for being unrealistic. Not for being exaggerated, or calibrated for marketability (both true) but that it is “too optimistic” a portrait of the industry. Said one writer I followed at the time, “in the real world, Miyamori would have hung herself under the stress.” It's a grotesque statement, but not fully removed from reality. In past years there have stories of animators dying of overwork. Stories of directors abusing their connections to sexually harass voice actors, freelance animators not being paid by their studio contractors, and companies refusing to compensate their employees for unpaid overtime because their work was deemed insufficient. The world of SHIROBAKO has its problems—difficult co-workers, a competitive industry, clueless and self-absorbed producers. But it is undeniably a kinder world than the one we live in.

That said, I personally believe that the optimism of SHIROBAKO is earned. After all, the staff who worked on the series have weathered their share of disasters. SHIROBAKO itself faced a difficult production, resulting in the subbed release of the final episode being briefly delayed on Crunchyroll. I'd imagine the staff who worked on the show know what it's like to toil in the trenches on a series nobody likes, or do career-best work on the adaptation of a light novel that everybody forgets about in a month. SHIROBAKO features its share of genius characters, from the secret animation powerhouse Shigeru Sugie to eccentric and feared director Hidea—I mean, Mitsuaki Kanno. But it has just as much sympathy for the less obviously glamorous jobs: production assistants, sound designers, background artists, CG designers, script researchers and the countless other hands creating an animated series. All of them ordinary people doing the work in an unforgiving industry.

This to me is the great lesson of SHIROBAKO: Anime is made by people. They draw, they eat, they struggle, they do exercise routines. Some of them have great fashion sense, others are fearless drivers. But they all have names, and they're all important. I've seen a trend recently of companies reducing “anime” to a brand, another marketing label to better enable the collection of consumer data. This year's Netflix documentary Enter the Anime gives us glimpses of a handful of directors, but never lets us into the studio. This is a mistake. Anime is never just one person, or a synopsis on a page. In this industry, the existence of any animated series that makes it from beginning to end is a miracle, enabled by the hard work and tears of countless dedicated staff. Not everyone reads the credits, but there is a story behind every person whose name is there, and behind the names of those left out.

You might be a fan of anime, a fan of cute girls, a fan of animation for its own sake. There's something in SHIROBAKO for all of those folks. If you're a fan of jokes and daring escapes, there's plenty of those too! But SHIROBAKO is also a story about people, made by people. A love letter written to a very difficult and demanding job. Five years later, the airwaves adrift with countless beleaguered productions like paper lanterns, that job has never been more difficult or demanding.

Are you, like me, a fan of SHIROBAKO? Do you ship anyone in the cast together? Do you know a Taro at your workplace? Let us know in the comments!

---

Adam W is a features writer at Crunchyroll, and the world's biggest fan of famous animated porcupine Andes Chucky. He sporadically contributes with a loose coalition of friends to a blog called Isn't it Electrifying? Follow him on Twitter at: @wendeego

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

1 note · View note

im-basically-logan · 7 years ago

Text

welcome back to the routine of me yelling about the latest sander sides vid! everything will be under the cut but just know there are obviously spoilers.

see you on the other side lmao

they all did that intro all at once???? damn!

MARCO 2.0 FOLKS!!! LOOK AT JOAN’S BEANIE!!!

ALSO KYLE DOING THE THING!!! FOR THE INTRO?? AMAZING!!!

thomas... what are you doing. also Joan’s line of thought is what i thought of first lmao

shoehorn

“... just how weird that was” indeed. look at the nerd risin on in tho!

“feeling it...”

Logan’s groan of frustration to thomas saying “motivated” is a big mood

“now you’re just pandering to my fondness for being told that im right” lmaoooo

logan’s sass is great

i love logan too, thomas

DECEIT HE’S BACK AT IT AGAIN

S L I M E Y B O Y

deceit flipped them off jdkshgjkfdhs

i sure hope he doesnt excrete slime jfc

they actually looked at the painting on the wall omfg. logan being confused by it’s abstract look is hilarious imo

existentialism ACTIVATED

DUSHGJKFDLS THE SIDES ACTUALLY PULL EACH OTHER UP TO SUMMON THEM OH MY GOD

when they were trying to get virgil to come out?? roman was literally pulling him omfggg why

also patton and logan just sorta told him to come out but pulling could still be a thing in that regard but rOMAN TUGGED ON HIM

back on topic--”YOU PULLED MY HAIR”

roman back at it again with the weird phrases!

“I would talk about you in another room” “...fair enough”

YESAAAAAAHH UNDERSTATEMENT MUCH

roman’s facial expressions are amazing

“i think you’re just being a jerk” hgjksd roman’s pouty face lmao

I LOVE TERRENCE’S HANDWRITING??? A LOT???

yay roman complimented logan!!!

“myth of the great manbaby” what the hell roman

when you break the fourth wall column and make everyone uncomfortable

i love the drawing things for roman’s thinking. he is creativity after all

the thing about financial perception is great-- i love listening to logan talk kgdfhgkdfl give us a podcast. (jk jk)

THOMAS TALKING ABOUT THE WITCHER 3 YES

the fact that logan indirectly acknowledges he’s a nerd lmaooo

virgil spawning in and saying “i’m listeninnnnng”

“hi virgil” “sup thomas”

ngl roman, that idea is pretty... bad sorry

“but you just called me a little bratty baby--” “A- DUB DUBGFBBFJK THOMAS”

I LOVE LISTENING TO LOGAN TALK ABOUT EXISTENTIALISM AND QUOTING ALAN MOORE

“holy sh-” THOMAS

is aunt patty a real person??

constantly circling the answer lmao

windshield of diamond...? i mean diamonds can be clear but-

“we’re talking about a car, not a horse” lo... logan it’s a metaphor

“i hope you know that my agreeing to a point i made is not a win for you”

once again i love the little animations

thomas playing an elongated word association game is me tbh

“a.. scripted series” “nods in agreement” KJEHGJDFK THE FOURTH WALL HAS BEEN DESTROYED

WHAT IS ROMAN’S FACE AT 12:00????

nexus... instrument??? oh wait nvm

“quixotic, quarreling. quaaaaaaaaaaaah” and the little shake as he said “im not good at nicknames” lmao

circadian rhythm? who’s she???

ok listen i know logan is right about the sleeping schedule but also??? no?? thanks??

“but twitter!” “tumblr?” “tinder?” “twinster!” JDFKJDS

“my twin kinda looks like you, logan!” REALLY ROMAN?

and then all the remy fans went insane...

“copulating” LOGAN

pancake and pillow fights jffkhgsf

tHOMAS DONT FIGHT PEOPLE WITH PANCAKES-

“BRO-gan” JDSKHASJK didnt thomas say that in a tweet lmao

“okay dad” “y’called?”

“love you patton” “love you thomas”

“BUT A BIG MEAL MAKES ME SLEEPY” oh jeez i’ve never tried doing that and i probably wont-- thanks logan lol

“this snack over here is wondering if you’re finished or not!” roman..?? what??

i love logan’s face when he’s about to start rambling again lmao

i just noticed the amazing sound design for the handwriting effects, kudos to you guys!!

ROMAN NO IT’S NOT-- IT’S NOT ALCOHOL YOU FOOL

“shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots i endorse, are vaccines” agreed but also logan n o

look at his face tho he looks sorta proud of himself

“why are you drinking... out of a blender” "this is the biggest container that i have” th-thomas..??? my god lmao

“but how is it good for you?” “how?” logan is slytherclaw tbh

“CORN! ... to eat”

nice pie chart

roman’s face at 16:06 is a mood

“and health...! facts!”

logan being a literal encyclopedia is amazing... also fairly robotic wouldnt you say (hahaha)

but also roman brushing his teeth immediately after dlsjgdfkl

roman throwing a little temper tantrum lmaooo

“elms need tending..”

i like to think roman just has imagery dancing around for thomas and logan to see in his hand or smth. or he’s awkwardly projecting it idfk

17:43 logan is a mood (i say this a lot bear with me)

once AGAIN! I LOVE THE ART STYLE OF THE ANIMATED PARTS!!!

roman, sorry buddy, but shakespeare plagiarized a lot of things and frankly i believe thats a big no no for you? (remember the originality episode oof)

“FORGET SLEEP” same roman

“then you will care for your friends more than they have ever been cared for in their. entire. LIFE” “yES”

THE CLICHE WESTERN MUSIC JDKF

“i dont know the meaning of the word...” “it means ridiculous” “oh really?” ROMAN??? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT?

all the other times logan has used preposterous just went over his head????

hasnt roman USED the word preposterous?????

mANTICORE CHIMERA?? OKAY THEN

i go straight to logan’s thinking. roman get the heck out of there? dont fight a chimera with a broken leg plz

“how can you be teaching me so many things but also be so wrong today?” WOW ROMAN LMAO

20:09 Logan...ok listen, somebody just send me a bunch of screenshots of their faces in this video plz

NJKDSFFSJAHKS I LOVE HOW THEY PUT PATTON AS THOMAS’ DAD IN THE FAMILY TREE

“pardon me while i laugh! .... ha” ok the motions before he “laughed” looked oddly like deceit...

ROMAN WIGGLES A LOT

hello yes?? can we get a sander sides soundtrack??? the music while logan explains the worth of living is great

“uber yawn” im sorry roman, w h a t

“rOMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” y’gonna... stop....?

ok there we go

DID LOGAN JUST CALL ROMAN A PREP FJKDSHGJFDHK

aww logan’s little smirk

“that sounds cool..” roman is such a dork jkdshfs

DING DING DING IT’S THE LOGINCE TRAIN. also! i want the music SO BADLY

logans little bounce at 23:43 gives me life

awww they’re getting along

the next video thomas was hinting at... the puppet show

also i would’ve mentioned this earlier but i forgot but I THINK THATS A NEW SHIRT? :O

MOXIETY MOMENT!!!

“every dog has it’s day” Virgil: patton n o

“may the force be with you” lmao

patton sounds oddly... solemn? it just sounds slightly lower than patton’s usual voice??? i dunno im reading into things

take it easy guys, gals, and nonbinary pals!

we’re at the end! im so proud of thomas, talyn, and joan! amazin as usual. Also best wishes to Joan’s recovery. they better rest after this

#sander sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #talyn #joan #ts spoilers #spoilers #overviews #why do we get out of bed in the morning #what else are we calling this episode #lo rambles

30 notes · View notes

autumnholicpau · 8 years ago

Text

OK, I think I need to throw what the new episode of Sherlock made me think. It is mi personal opinion so i prefer anons to keep out or al least to not be mad at me for thinking this.

I’ve watched it today at morning with English subs so maybe I haven’t get the whole thing because English is not my first language. Anyway, here I go.

The first scene, where Sherlock and Mycroft are o nthe office of the MI6 or whatever was funny, specially that thing about Sherlock twitting everything about his own comeback, but it was very hard for me to see Sherlock. I mean, I know he was there performed my benedict but I was like: “Am i watching Sherlock? Same Sherlock I used to like and fangirl about?” And certainly it wasn’t. I saw Sherlock and Mycroft and Sherlock being rude to random people for no reason, but it still sounding weird to me, like if something was wrong with the whole thing. It was the same in other scenes life the John-Lestrade chat about being father.

The script seemed impatient, as if lots of things had to happen in a hurry and the relaxed scenes (like the dog ome) needed to be shortened and fastened, which ended making the whole episode a race to really I don’t know where.

The case was dull. I thought it will be interesting and one of those old misteries that features Holmes’ stories, but it wasn’t. Also it happened too fast (as everything else in this episode) that I hardly had time trying to figure it out by myself. That may be, as I suppose, because the case itself wasn’t the priority, the plot wasn’t about the little statues of Margaret Tatcher, it was about Mary’s past. This lead to to the point I disliked the most: that’s no more about Sherlock because a lot of characters are involved in his life and this has started to have everything to do about the rest and how it affects Sherlock and nothing about Sherlock himself of his cases (that is what I liked in first place).

Besides the Mary-belly-of-the-plot, the Sherlock being someone but Sherlock as I knew it, Mycroft playing the lost father figure with Sherlock better than John with Rosie, Lestrande being a plot device, lot of characters that I don’t know why appear in here and Molly being that person w/o heart or a sing of affection for Sherlock (the person she liked as we got to see in previous seasons), what I really didn’t get was JOHN- What happened to this character? Because, really, I couldn’t found a single piece of the original John I knew and liked in this new John with strange manners, being rude to his best friend, being unloyal to the woman he loves (presumably, if we believe he really feels all he told to her about the problems of her future being his privilege and all of that) and, mainly, doesn’t being Doctor John Watson.

His role has been played by Mary because she was an agent, by Mycroft, whom Sherlock came looking for some help and information, by a hacker teenager and even by a dog. But we can’t see John playing John, we can’t see the blogger because he was busy playing the cheater, the husband, rarely the dad and mainly the man there with the cute hair. I really don’t get this twist.

Maybe the changes are due to the heavier part of other character’s backstory, or because the whole plot aims too high far from the routine we were used to, or even it is possible that everything is on my head because three years of hiatus without counting the Xmas special of last years (TAB) have made me forget what Sherlock meant and how this show was. but, in fact, I feel deeply disappointed. I hope this change with future episodes or maybe if I see TST again it changes my mind, I really do, but, idk if someone felt the same way about this.

Sorry if anyone is annoyed by this. I insist, personal opinion.

#s4s #sherlock #sherlock bbc #the six thatchers #sherlock spoilers #personal opinion #autumnholic #txt #john watson #molly hooper #greg lestrade #mycroft holmes #mrs hudson #mary morstan #sherlock holmes

9 notes · View notes

danorth · 7 years ago

Link

(Disclaimer: ESL)A while back we had a couple of session with microsoft, one of those focused on DR of Active Directory and another one was on AD health. Here are some of my notes and things learned. Some of them are obvious but might need a reminder and other ones might not be well known:The computers remembers the password last two passwordsWhen rescuing AD, one of the most unsettling things is the thought of having to repair the trust-relationship for all computers that has changed it's password since the backup you are restoring from.Well, it turns out that the machine stores 2 passwords: The one it uses and the one it had before, so restoring to a previous backup should not be a problem. Depending on the age of your backup.Never trust one platformHaving your domaincontrollers on more than one hardware platform (ie. VMWare and Bare Metal or VMWare and Hyper-V) migitiates the risk tremendously. Especially if VMWare auth is down because of that you can't authenticate to AD.Never trust one backup platformUsing both Veeam and Windows Server Backup for your DC's is a great idea. Especially if the Veeam backup got hacked or is corrupt, tapes are corrupt etc. Also, if you are a premier support customer; Microsoft does only support Windows Server Backup.Keep your ADSM (active directory safe mode) passwords properly documented and stored!This is an easy one to forget about, especially if you have inherited an environment. If it's not documented and locked into a safe; change the password and document it properly.Plan for that your DR scenarios might have to take place offlineIn case of a security breach, the network might have to be taken offline. Plan for DR accordingly. And, DC's might have to be kept offline during recovery so that a DC with a larger RID-number on it's objects dosen't overwrite the data that you just restored.Most AD recovery isn't a DR scenario per sayBut a mass deletion in AD is severe enough. Doublecheck that you have the recycle-bin enabled in your domain and develop scripts to quickly mass-restore objects. What we use:# This restores the OU's first, and after that the objects in order. Else it will try to recreate the objects in an OU or object that dosen't exist and fail. # Replace the date with the date that that the mass-deletion took place $FromDate = Get-Date "2018-03-30 13:02:02" $Deleted = Get-ADObject -Filter {(isdeleted -eq $true) -and (WhenChanged -gt $FromDate)} -IncludeDeletedObjects -Properties * | sort lastknownparent -Descending $Deleted | ? {$_.objectclass -eq "organizationalUnit"} | Restore-ADObject $Deleted | ? {$_.objectclass -ne "organizationalUnit"} | Restore-ADObject Use the microsoft tiering model for securing important infrastructureRead more about it here: https://ift.tt/2KJuXYT will hopefully make it so that you don't have to rebuild the entire environment in case of a security breach.Coffee and perhaps something to eat the AD admins best friend.Give AD time to replicate and go and grab a coffee. Being to much in a hurry WILL make things worseDocument your AD in an easy wayUse the "Active directory topology diagrammer" to document your AD and keep it in the same binder as the DR documentation. This will save the one rescuing the AD a lot of headache and even for you since everybody reacts differently during a crisis.Emergency admin accountYou should have an emergency admin account, and it should be monitored for logins and locked in a safe. Password should be changed regularly.Practice DR yearlyWe all know this, but we don't do it because of time. Create a recurring meeting, one or two days a year for practicing to force yourself to make time for it.After practicing this the first time and documenting a routine, the worries AD breaking down is minimal. And the big black hole of worry when it comes to this shrinks.AD is stable, and most DR scenarios isn't because of a failiure of ADMost DR scenarios is because of a security breach. I yet again refer to: https://ift.tt/2KSy1yy DC that you recover to SHOULD be able to handle most of the load for a period of timeWhen recovering AD, at some time, only one DC will be available. And all machines will try to go towards it. When creating or buying a spare machine that AD will be restored to - add a lot of CPU.Write the DR documentation so that it's easy to follow.You might not be around when it happens, you might have been hit by a buss. And the one the company decides to call in panic might not be the one best suited for the job.It's OK since Server 2008 to change IP and DNS of the domaincontrollersThis seems to be the biggest no-no in the AD community. But according to microsoft it's been supported for a while and it seems to be an inherited belief in the sysadmin community. Not to say it isn't risky, it is and some depending systems might not handle it.You want to flush/register DNS tho, and scan through your DNS-records. I've since done this in a test-forest, DMZ-forest and couple of production-forests and never had a problem. This comes in especially handy in environments where you haven't load balanced LDAP/DNS and need to keep the same names/ip of some DC'sHow we did it:Promote a new DC.Demote old DC.Change name of old DC.Remove old DC from domain.Change IP of old DC, turn it off.Change name of new DC to old DC's name.Change IP of new DC to the old DC's IPipconfig /flushdnsipconfig /registerdnsWait until "repadmin /showrepl" is OK, grab a coffee.Change name of the new DC to the old DC's name.ipconfig /flushdnsipconfig /registerdnsWait until "repadmin /showrepl" is OK, grab a coffee.Out of hundreds of systems and thousands of computers and servers, only 3 systems choked when we did this on 5 DC's.GPO's that are backed up with the powershell cmdlets don't store the linked OU'sThis might come as a nasty suprise for some. Use the Get-GPOReport and parse the XML for the links that you store in the same folder as the GPO backup.Write pester tests for testing baseline of your DC'sYou might not remember to put all the roles and configs in, and you might want to test that the networking team has done their jobs. So testing the baseline of your DC's is important. What we currently test with pester after installing a new DC:Can resolve towards our edge DNS serversThat all roles and features needed are installedThat the DFS namespace resolves properlyThat no replication errors are occuringGet-ADUser works aganist the serverThat the server can resolve DNSAV is installed and exclusions are madeThat firewall ports are opened/closedThat the server is in an auto patch groupThat the distribution of DC's in the auto patch groups are even, so that 50% of the dc's don't auto update at the same time.That it can reach other DC'setc.Have your boss in on the DR plans, and agree that he will act as a gatekeeper during a DR scenarioHaving someone holding the door and acting as a information channel during a DR scenario is important. Especially since one error might lead to you having to start over the DR routine from step 1 (An old DC writing over the recovered contents of a new DC for example). A room with a lockable door is preferred.Load balancing the primary DNS and LDAPThis is a great idea. Especially when a lot of stuff is bound directly to the DC's. This will make it easier to restart, replace and remove DC's. F5 for example handles this fine.Moving FSMO roles is easy# If FSMO role holder is online: Move-ADDirectoryServerOperationMasterRole -Identity "Target-DC" -OperationMasterRole SchemaMaster,RIDMaster,InfrastructureMaster,DomainNamingMaster,PDCEmulator # If FSMO role holder is crashed and you need to sieze the roles Move-ADDirectoryServerOperationMasterRole -Identity "Target-DC" -OperationMasterRole SchemaMaster,RIDMaster,InfrastructureMaster,DomainNamingMaster,PDCEmulator -Force It's normal for a demote of a DC to leave some thrash DNS recordsScan your DNS records, either manually or with a script after leftover records from the old DC's and delete them.Schema changes isn't final until next defragmantation of the JET databaseThis occurs once every 12h. even tho it works before that.If you're going to monitor one thing, monitor for JET database errors on the domaincontrollersThis is a sign of corruption in the AD database. Here's the event ID's: https://ift.tt/2KzF03f DFS-R for SYSVOL and Netlogon replication errorsA restore of those can be quite annoying, but not to hard: https://ift.tt/2KSy2CC be carefull so that you don't overwrite a good share that you were supposed to use. And double check that GPO's are working after a restore, else restore GPO from last known good backup. Otherwise it might cause a mismatch between GPO version in AD and GPO version in SYSVOL.Domain isn't a security bondary, a forest isI yet again, refer to the tiering model: https://ift.tt/2KN7OVm is a good read as well: https://ift.tt/2J0iDOL for NTLMv1 usage and disable itNTLMv1 is roughly 30 years old and an obselete authentication method. What it does is that it from the beginning only supported 7 characters + 1 parity bit like this:[ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][*]This is simple enought to crack, 7 chars is done in no time at all. According to what i found on the internet it's 577 combinations and takes around 10 minutes. Now, afterwards they added support for 14 chars and that should take, but did they make it 14 whole bytes + a parity bit? NO...If they made it like this:[ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][*]The password would in theory take 204 million years for a brute force attack to crack it. But how it works is that it splits the password in two like this:[ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][*] + [ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][*]So it takes in theory 20 minutes instead...On top of that, if your password is lets say, 11 charachters it fills the remaining bytes with 0.[M][Y][P][A][S][S][W][*] + [O][R][D][!][0][0][0][*]Did you notice how it's all caps? That's because the NTLM password is converted to all caps before hashed into the database. NTLMv1 is dumb and should be disabled.If you installed your forest from scratch with with Server 2016, NTLMv1 is disabled by default.If you keep your systems patched, security breaches through software vunerabilities is rareThe most common point of entry is through identity theft. This is why it's even more important to use the microsoft security model when designing security for your AD.Because if the hacker has owned a computer by calling Debbie and asking nicley, and you have been logged on with an account that has Domain Admin rights on that machine; The hacker owns your network.When scanning software for missing patches use a software or script that uses the wsusscn2.cabUse the WSUS offline catalog when scanning for missing patches! A lot of software just contacts your local WSUS and if WSUS dosen't have any patches to offer it assumes that it's good. The truth is that there might be a lot of patches missing on your system, and scanning with the offline WSUS catalog will catch it.Upgrading the forest functional level is best done daytimeA lot of sneaky errors can occur when uppgrading the forest/domain functional level.One of those are that the KRBTGT (Kerberos Ticket Granting Ticket) password is changed. Windows systems tend to follow the change without any problems, but *nix systems talking kerberos might not and you might have to restart them. So if your environment has a lot of important applications running in linux, especially if they are critical; do it during daytime and cooperate with your *nix team.From my experience, this is best suited at 10AM. People have arrived to work, are awake and ain't hungry.Also, do yourself a faviour and upgrade in a test forest with the most critical apps first.As soon as you have one DC up, rerun a full backup using windows backup tooDon't want to have to do all that work again if easily avoidable.Thanks for the input /u/tomasplandEdit: Thanks a lot for the great response! Fixed some spelling and clarified what emergency admin is. via /r/sysadmin

#IFTTT #reddit #sysadmin

0 notes

ohwowbabee · 7 years ago

Text

The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System by mike paul Bonus

The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System Review and Bonus by mike paul – Best New strategy that is untapped by the real estate industry leaving you to claim clients willing to pay you $500-$1000 every month

The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System by mike paul bonus

The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System by mike paul Make Money Online is the best, it will save your time and money.

Who is this opportunity for? Anyone who wants to set up an ethical, sustainable business they can run from the comfort of home – even if you’ve never sold so much as a hamburger before and don’t know the first thing about real estate agencies. Everything you need to know is all contained in the comprehensive PDF that comes as part of the package and is based on my many years in the real estate trenches. And that is reinforced with the series of take you by the hand videos that show you every simple step. This is one of your Crossroad Days. Most days are routine enough. And then, occasionally, there comes a day with the potential to transform your life beyond recognition – a ‘Crossroad Day’…the sort of life-changing day when you decide what college to attend, what career to follow or who to spend the rest of your life with. And then there is THIS day, when you have this amazing (totally risk-free) opportunity to revel in the freedom of the ‘offliner’s lifestyle’ you’ve always craved. So you now have a crystal clear choice. You can either carry on as before, looking for that ‘miracle’ moneymaking program that requires absolutely no work at all and will transform you into a millionaire in seven days, just by owning the product (and which you know – in your heart of hearts – is really pie in the sky). OR…You can be smart and realize that – if you’re quick – for a one-off, tiny (totally risk-free) investment of just 27 bucks, you can quickly become the master of your own destiny with your very own sustainable and profitable home based business. Sounds like that tiny decision to test drive my program is a complete no-brainer, so I’m really looking forward to sharing my life-changing secrets with you.

And this is greatly helped by the fact that the voice mail message will have already told them you’re offering this deal to the other realtors in their area – but will only taking on ONE client in each area. So – as you can imagine – your prospect will be as eager as a puppy to please you, so there is no ‘selling’ involved – just a matter of telling the prospect how the system works. And this will be a no-brainer for you, because I’ve used my 13 years at the real estate coal face to create an irresistible, battle-tested explanation of the system that will transform your merely curious prospect to an eager client ready to sign up – all in five minutes flat. The software you’ll be using can blast out the message to thousands of voice mail boxes at once. So – even when you begin – you should enjoy some paying clients, right from the get go, even if your presentation is not quite stellar right from the start. And your conversions are bound to increase as you get more polished with practice. After all, your callers have all made the effort to phone you to see what the fuss is all about, so you can be certain they have a keen interest in what you have for them. Therefore it’s brain-dead simple to convert them to a paying customer – particularly as you will know exactly what to say to them, because you’ll have my script right there in front of you. And I know how a real estate agent thinks – after all, I’ve been one for 13 years! Nor will you have a problem getting the cell phone numbers of your targets, because I’ll reveal a simple FREE method that will get you plenty, plus a method that gets even more – yet on a shoestring budget.

At that point you will use the simple telephone software again – but with a different script tested and perfected by me, again based on my 13 year’s hands-on experience selling homes, to generate as many highly qualified EXCLUSIVE leads as your client wants of home owners wanting their homes listed for sale. Leaving the referral thugs right out in the cold. And, as long as the agent continues to pay your monthly fee, they can continue to receive fresh leads. And, as they will never have enjoyed such a bonanza of quality leads for ages, the chances of them ever cancelling your monthly payment is virtually zero. Then all you need do is extend your reach with your voice mail blasts to pile up more and more happy real estate agent clients, all paying you a regular monthly payment until they snowball to enormous proportions. So here’s an interesting thought. If you sign up enough agents, all paying you a regular monthly fee of between $500 – $1,000 (which is easier than you might think, right now, because they’re probably being held to ransom, by the referral highwaymen for THREE TIMES that much), you can become seriously rich. So what will you do with all the money? Will you enjoy the look on your too-young-to-drive-on-the-highway son as you hand him the keys to his very own dune buggy? Or get a wonderful warm feeling from the hug your horse-mad daughter gives you as you hand her the reins of her very own pony? Or will you reward yourself for being smart enough to see the huge life-changing potential of my system and use some of the profits to buy that high end vehicle you’ve always coveted, paying cash. Or will you be very disciplined and pile up treasure towards that wonderful day when you make that final commute home – having given your boss the pink slip – while you take great pleasure from the sheer sense of relief and FREEDOM? Whatever you choose to do with your new found wealth, it sounds like I’ll soon be sharing my powerful secrets with you to help you transform your life for the better.

Get Now The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System :

And here’s just a tiny sneak peek of the powerful secrets included in this program

How to load up with real estate agent’s details – for free – to start with And how to get all the real estate names you can handle – on a shoestring budget.

How to generate all the real estate agent inquiries you can handle The FREE method and FAST TRACK method (because your business needs leads just as much as a real estate agent).

Why my carefully crafted message the software sends the agent on autopilot will press all the right buttons, and how they will regard you as their ‘knight in shining armour’ come to rescue them from the wicked referral robber barons.

How to quickly convert those leads into clients delighted to pay you an ongoing monthly fee to receive top quality leads Because they will be pay you far LESS for far MORE superior quality leads, making it the easiest possible sale.

The battle-tested, powerfully compelling sales script you’ll use in your conversation with your prospect that will make them think you’re a fellow real estate professional (because folks buy more readily from people they feel are like them).

The equally persuasive scripts, crafted with the wisdom of my 13 years of selling homes, that will deliver a bumper harvest of home owner leads for your delighted clients.

You get all this PLUS…

The ‘take you by the hand’ videos… showing you every simple baby step in the whole process. So, pour a drink, sit back and watch as I show you exactly what to do so it will quickly become second nature.

The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System Testimony

“… Although my BIC tried to assist, her ideas…produced nothing. Once Mike took over…, my business did a complete 180! He provided me with his way for lead cultivation, which worked immediately. I was actually surprised how many leads I was able to pick up using these various methods. Overall, Mike’s different approach helped me to double my business year- to- year!” – Holly W.

“Mike’s approach is a phenomenal real estate market advantage! He helped me develop a plan and increase my business in a matter of days…Mike showed me his way of producing good leads and I was quickly impressed with the results. Taking his advise to stop all the useless methods and use what works has allowed me to thrive as an agent.” – Sergio S.

“As a new agent I spent much of my day learning ineffective ways to get leads for my business…Michael first told me how he generated real estate leads and helped me set up a system that works and I was accumulating much more leads than anyone in my office! He genuinely wanted me to succeed and that was beautiful and unforgettable…” – Lucia H.

youtube

forget about wasted time end payment high price,. The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System is something I’ve been waiting for, I had seen these kinds on many sites before but didn’t now of any tool that could create like The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System. My advice don’t wait around, jump in! The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System will pay for itself as soon as you start using it.

The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System is the best software on the market right now (as far as I know). The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System comes with easy to follow instructions. You don’t need any technical experience to make these improvements. is good news for online bussiness. The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System by mike paul Bonus

Get Now The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System :

related The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System

The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System review bonus, The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System bonus review, The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System bonuses, The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System discount, The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System discount coupon, The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System huge discount, The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System

The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System by mike paul Bonus

#The Accelerated Real Estate Lead System by mike paul Bonus downsell #The Accelerated Real Estate Lea

0 notes

zillowcondo · 8 years ago

Text

Your Summer Style Guide – 10 Ways to Get the Perfect Look

Dressing for Summer weather is a lot of fun but it presents its own unique challenges. Keeping cool when the heat is on whilst following the latest fashion trends is a tricky balance. If your day to day look is mostly monochrome then Summer’s colourful outfits can also come as a bit of a shock. However fear not, as our Summer style guide should help you stand out yet retain your own signature look.

Get into the Summer time vibe

Whether it’s a flamingo print skirt, over-sized sunglasses or pom pom sandals, Summer is the perfect time to be quirky. Set yourself a challenge to make people smile with your outfits.

Favour light colours

These will reflect the sun and help you to keep cool. In particular, white will absorb less heat than darker colours and also has the advantage of coordinating with almost every other colour. Pair it with navy and red for a nautical theme or tan for a boho chic vibe.

Invest in Summer wardrobe staples

A classic striped Breton t-shirt, a shirt dress and ballet flats are Summer classics that will never go out of fashion. Talking of shoes, t bar sandals elongate the leg whilst espadrille wedges are handy if you’ll be attending a polo match or garden party as you won’t sink into the grass! A simple white top will go with everything, from jeans to monochrome skirts – just remember to wear tan underwear if the fabric is slightly sheer. A one-piece swimming costume like this Cindy swimsuit designed by the glamorous Alexandra Miro will flatter most body shapes thanks to its stretch matte fabric, while the front strapping detail adds interest.

Keep it loose

There’s nothing worse than clothes sticking to your body on a hot Summer’s Day so to avoid this, stick to loose-fitting items such as cotton maxi dresses and wide-legged linen trousers. It’s surprising but a long maxi dress will actually keep you cooler than a mini skirt and top. Freely flowing clothes are so much more comfortable when the temperature rises. Avoid corset tops, tight pencil skirts and body con dresses in the heat. However if you like your outfits to have extra definition, then consider an elasticated belt or skirt waistline that will cinch in a loose camisole top.

Natural fabrics are your friend

Cotton, linen and silk are all breathable fabrics that will help keep you cool in dry heat or humidity. Cotton has some interesting variants like seersucker and chambray for a stylish look. In terms of man made fabrics, synthetic blends work well in humid climates whereas rayon is ideal in dry conditions as it’s so lightweight.

Pick clothing suitable to your destination

If you live in a country where mosquitoes are rife or if you’re travelling to a destination that is prone to bugs, it’s a good idea to opt for long-sleeved shirts and maxi dresses or trousers in the evening when they are most prevalent. You might also consider investing in mosquito-repellent clothing for extra piece of mind. An insect repellent spray that can be used on clothing is an absolute must!

Protect yourself from the sun

It’s essential to protect eyes from the sun’s rays so invest in a good pair of sunglasses with UV protection. In Europe, for example, sunglasses displaying the CE mark allow no more than 5 per cent of UV rays below 380 nanometres through. Elsewhere, they are often labelled as UV 400, blocking all UVA and UVB light rays up to 400 nanometres. If you’ll be doing any water sports then consider investing in polarized, wrap around sunglasses for added protection. As for watersports clothing, a UV rash vest is indispensable if you have a tendency to burn in the sun.

Sun cream should ideally have a Sun Protection Factor of at least 15, which will block 93 percent of UVB radiation, however the ideal is an SPF 30 or above, blocking almost 97 percent of harmful UVB rays. Make sure to reapply it every few hours or each time you come out of the sea. We often forget to protect our hair from the sun’s glare but if you want to keep it looking shiny and well-maintained then slick on specific UV hair protector or wear a hat. This one is from Somerville Scarves who also have a good range of tote bags and Summer kaftans.

Stock up on accessories

Whether you’re at home or abroad, accessories will prove very useful in Summertime. A wide-brimmed hat will keep the sun off your face and neck and add interest to your outfits.

A colourful scarf like this one from Missoni can be used to tie your hair back off your neck or as a belt if you’re packing light. Heavy bags with thick straps will feel so uncomfortable in hot weather. A tote bag in canvas or jute is indispensable for the beach. If you’re doing some city sightseeing then a small cross-body bag will be useful.

A sarong will come in very handy if you need to cover your shoulders whilst visiting churches or temples and you can also wear it as a skirt or even a top. In terms of beach accessories, there are some very stylish round towels available these days and inflatables are the must-have item of the moment. If you don’t fancy lugging one on your travels, you can even hire them at your destination these days!

Switch up your beauty regime

Do you adapt your beauty routine in the Summer months? It’s certainly worth thinking about as what works in Wintertime won’t be as effective in hot weather. In terms of skincare, we like products with built-in skin protection such as the innovative Dr Russo SPF 30 Sun Protective Day Cleanser. Swap your heavy Winter night cream for a lighter serum and if travelling, stock up on makeup and nail varnish remover pads. Parts of the body that haven’t been exposed for months will be on show so invest in a manicure or pedicure. We particularly like gel manicures for their long-lasting, low maintenance effect. In terms of Summer make-up, have fun with highly pigmented eye shades but change your Winter foundation for a lighter tinted moisturizer. Cream and gel blusher tends to work better in the heat than the powder version and a tinted lip balm is a great alternative to lipstick. As for perfume, now is the time to consider a lighter fragrance such as a bespoke creation from Experimental Perfume Club.

Travel light

The key to travelling light is to start with your luggage. It’s worth investing in a lightweight suitcase such as the Samsonite Lite-Shock Spinner with personalized engraving. At only 2.5 kilos for the 75 cm model, it will leave you plenty of luggage allowance for your belongings and holiday souvenirs! Opt for lightweight fabrics too such as viscose and silk and avoid clothing with heavy beading and embellishments. For electrical goods, check with your hotel or apartment in advance of travelling whether they have the necessary items available. If they don’t and you can’t live without them, purchase a travel-sized version of your hairdryer and styling irons. By the way, do you notice my Venice skirt? It’s great fun to choose outfits that match the destination that you will be visiting.

Summer Style Guide – Our Pick of the Key Pieces

We’re crushing on these luxurious Summer pieces right now – which one(s!) to choose?

Here’s the full list of products for you:

Forte Couture Off Shoulder Cotton Toile Top W/ Pompoms • £218 Miguelina – Joone Printed Linen Shorts – Army green • Miguelina • £144 Splendid Off the Shoulder Top in White • Splendid • US$88 Tory Burch – Laguna Leather-trimmed Canvas Wedge Espadrilles – Neutral • Tory Burch • £235 Pleated skirt with Web • Gucci • £450 Missoni Mare Chevron-Knit Sunhat • £534 Maje Jonaelle Ombré Pleated Midi Skirt • Maje • £209 Lazul Peacock Print Tunic • £325 Fendi Paradeyes Sunglasses • Fendi • £230 Lisa Marie Fernandez – Mira Off-the-shoulder Broderie Anglaise Cotton Maxi Dress – Pink • Lisa Marie Fernandez • £840 Beach Lulu – Lulu Round Beach Towel – Mayan • Lulu • £55 Juliet Dunn Embroidered Strappy Drop Waist Dress • Juliet Dunn • £205 Matiko Delilah Fringe Flat Sandals • Matiko • US$79.20 Anjuna – Charlee Floral-print Cotton-voile Playsuit – Blue • £485 Oscar de la Renta ‘Classic Short’ beaded tassel drop clip earrings • Oscar de la Renta • £273 Spartina 449 Boheme Beach Bag • £72 Matthew Williamson – Sakura Floral Embroidered Silk Playsuit – Fuchsia • Matthew Williamson • £220 Cutler and Gross – Heart-frame Acetate Mirrored Sunglasses – Pink • £330 Lazul Plunge Cut-Out Solid Swimsuit • £215 Camilla Long Sarong • Camilla • US$200 Miguelina – Ines Cutout Printed Cotton Midi Dress – White • Miguelina • £290 Missoni – zig-zag strapless beach dress – women – Viscose – 40 • Missoni • £450 Katerina Psoma Bar On The Beach Necklace • Katerina Psoma • £249 Samsonite Lite-Shock four-wheel cabin suitcase 55cm • Samsonite • £275

We hope you’ve found this Summer Style Guide helpful. Let us know in the comments if there are any Summer beauty and fashion tips that you would add and tell us what item of clothing you can’t live without in Summertime.

The post Your Summer Style Guide – 10 Ways to Get the Perfect Look appeared first on Luxury Columnist.

Your Summer Style Guide – 10 Ways to Get the Perfect Look published first on http://ift.tt/2pewpEF

0 notes