#wheeze I’m on zou so I’m still a ways away

[bumblesnail]

haven’t met him yet BUT !!! he is neat I think

[1nn32dem0n5]

A good spot

The ambition and determination he once felt had faded away, slowly at first, then suddenly. Drinking, partying and fucking were the only things that he still found some modicum of pleasure in, but even these were slowly starting to lose their appeal, and this frightened him. At no point in Marc’s life did the pursuit of new vagina hold such a low priority. The town had finally gotten to him, and it made it clearly apparent that his flame, his passion for studying physics, didn’t really burn from within because it would’t have so easily been extinguished. In five years time he went from aspirations of Nobel prizes and solving the problem of high temperature superconductivity to complete self-loathing and apathy about life and all the promises of happiness it held, especially those in the field of physics. Days crawled by painfully dragging behind them precious hours that could be spent working on his thesis but instead were spent doing anything but. The only remnant of his highly ritualized work schedule was lunch at fiesta, which somehow survived through the mental trauma of the last few years.

Charlie Zou was late as always. He came from a well off Chinese family and was used to having people wait around for him. He avoided discussing the topic of his family since he hated most of them and tolerated the ones he didn’t despise. Against their wishes he left to study physics at a prestigious American university, but instead he found himself in the festering hellhole of North Lydsville. He was Marc’s office mate, and shared his uneasiness with their current predicament. He recently found the writings and teachings of Buddha, and was more content with the current level of despair in the universe than Marc.

“Let’s go fat fuck, I’m starving.” “Hello!” his eyes opened widely as if this was a look he practiced in the mirror many times and determined that the full meaning of the “hello” was lost without this eye maneuver.

Mark took one last drag from his cig and shot it towards the nearby garbage bin, missing, and they were inside together. The entire staff knew them as they ate there religiously, with the exception of sundays of course, because Sunday is God’s day and fiesta is closed. It’s a sin to drink and make burritos on Sundays in Lydsville.

“The usual?” Bill asks. Bill was recently hired , and although his burritos during the first week were meek and lacked ambition, his skill was improving. It helped that we had become acquaintances too. He threw in a few extra pieces of meat once in a while.

“Yup” “How are you guys today?” His cheerful mood annoyed me on most days, today included. “Same shit. But the weather is getting better” “Oh man, hell yea. This town is unpredictable as fuck. One day its nice and sunny and out of nowhere it can just right up thunderstorm on you. It looks like its gonna rain today I tell you” “Really?” “Oh yea. Definitely, I’ve lived here my entire life and I know these things. It definitely looks like rain. I was telling my buddy the other day it was gonna rain and he didn’t believe me cuz the skies were clear as fuck, and what do you think? Thirty minutes later: rain!!” “Good to know.” “For you sir? Steak or chicken today?” Charlie often changed the regular order of steak enchilada burrito to grilled chicken, since he would often complain that the steak was too well done and he liked his medium well. He had only one serving of taste in everything, meat included, but at least five of arrogance. “Steak please.” Amidst the never ending cornfields, further in from the ghetto of South Lydsville where you wouldn’t wanna go except to visit the single “mall” in an 80 mile radius there was the Ivy League of the midwest, Peru University, and right on the edge of campus the true gem of the town - an out of place mexican food restaurant. Surprisingly good too Marcus would say and Marcus knew about such things, since he was a New Yorker. He liked to think he knew about most things, and about most things he did know a good deal, especially women. They paid and sat near the window, because those are the best seats since they allowed for watching the hot young coeds tramp by in their leggings and Uggs. Fucking leggings and Uggs, oh and the Starbucks of course. The trifecta of white sororowhores all across America, or maybe it was just Lydsville.  

“So tell me about your encounter with Yuri? What the fuck was that about?” “What?”

To say Charlie was absent minded would be an understatement. His body was here but his mind, to this day, I have no idea where it was. Often he would forget entire conversations, introduce himself to the same people dozens of times, and lose his personal belongings almost on a schedule. He only carried the minimum amount of possessions on himself at all times.

“Oh yeaah! I remember now… So I was walking in the hallway umm walking to the bathroom and Yuri was walking towards me. Maybe he was umm like 20 feet away. And he saw me umm and he looked down, but as we were getting closer together. Or wait is it gotten closer together? Tell me what’s the correct thing?” “Closer together works.” “Are you sure? Isn’t the correct syntax ‘as we HAD gotten closer together’?” He asked triumphantly pointing his finger up in the air and tilting his head slightly to the side, as if he made an enlightening discovery. “Umm. Yea that works too, both are fine. Whatever go on!” Mark said impatiently. Charlie often had the habit of not only speaking in fragments, but often interrupting stories at the most inopportune times. “Okay. Anyway. Then we were like 2 meters away from each other ummm and he stared up at me for umm one moment and then he looked back down and passed me. I tried to say hello but it was so awkward.” “That’s it? That was the most awkward thing that ever happened to you involving Yuri?” “Yeaaah!” he remarked much more excitedly than before. “He just completely ignored my existence.” He said as he burst out in his usual wheezing sounding laughter. “Really? This is surprising to you? How many physicists do you know that are socially competent?” “Meh.”

They devoured the burritos like starving hyenas scouring a fresh kill, eating as if they had only seconds until the lions returned with the pack to claim what was rightfully theirs. Mark always cut his width wise first, and then lengthwise, leaving pieces that were just slightly larger than bite sized as to experience the feeling of having his mouth overly full of delicious freshly baked flour tortilla, succulent steak, cheese, hot enchilada sauce and crisp cold sour cream all at the same time. He quickly followed each bite with a scoop of pico, topped with cillantro and lettuce cut into thin squares. Charlie cut his almost into thirds, and bend over his plate as he stuffed as much as much as could possibly fit into his mouth, and letting the rest fall back down. The hot sauce could coat his massive Asian lips, which he didn’t wipe until the end of the meal. This was a very typical manner of eating in China, but most Americans observing would think of him uncultured and manner-less. He could hardly give a fuck. He hardly gave a fuck what anyone thought of him. His response when people would point out that the outline of his cock shows through his thin Chinese sweatshorts would always be a courtesy “Ohh I see”, then start laughing his second laugh, a loud raucous laugh, and then just go on wearing them day after day. One pair he had since he came to America.  

They barely spoke as they ate. Marc propped his phone on his wallet and was reading something on it. Charlie just stared into the nothingness of his rapidly vanishing burrito, occasionally throwing out a single snicker which would catch the attention of his companion, thinking it was another pair of see through yoga pants walking past. Most of the time it was nothing.

“You know what the problem is with asian girls?” “They squeal during sex?” “No. They don’t shave their pussies. In China only the prostitutes shave. I like America.” “I don’t mind a little bush, but a full bush is too much, especially when the hair goes down all the way to the thighs.” “It does that?” “Yeah.”

They sat in the cubicle a few more minutes of silence, their bellies full and minds empty. Then they went out, walked across the street into a pothole-ridden alleyway between the buildings and sat down outside against the wall of a parking garage, not too far off a way from the dumpsters, but far enough that the awful smell of from the “used cooking oil” container didn’t permeate through to them. They each smoked a cig and the silence was broken by Bill who came out on his smoke break too.

“Hey, wassap guys. You know this spot too?”

It was after all, a good spot.

[your-grand-adventure]

Buster World Chapter 1: Welcome to your new life

Floor 1

One-two-three. One-two-three. Martial Arts class was great. One-two-three. One-two-three. Especially when you get to stay a bit late and learn how boxing works. One-two-three. One-two-three!

“Sorry kid, I can’t stay out here for much longer. Do you want to go to my house?” Captain said.

“Sorry Mister, Mom and Dad say I can’t enter the apartments unless one of them has taken me there”.

“Sad, I would have taken care of you”.

“Bye, Captain!”

“Bye Maxie!”

I walked away from the gym, and into the darker than normal mall. Dad was always late. Mom couldn’t pick me up because she was sick. Sick with something I wasn’t allowed to know about. I don’t like that. I need to know. I could help. So why doesn’t anyone tell me about anything big or important? I made it to the exit my dad always grabs me from.

I sat on the cushioned bench, waiting for my father. Sunshine Mall was built over an old market place. There were a few legends about said marketplace. It’s said that during the solstices and equinoxes, the marketplace would be closed. Monsters would then use the marketplace as a playground. It’s probably just a legend. But I would like to meet some monsters. Preferably nice monsters.

Ding-

The pit had an elevator now? Nice. Was wondering when people would finally clean it out. They never said anything about this.

Maybe I could go on a real quick adventure.

The inside of the elevator was tinted a slimy green. Not sure if it was the light or from there being actual mold inside. I was much too bored to care about that, however. The seats are really cushiony. There were buttons up to 3 and down to… Holy Toledo. Last I remember, there was only 1 basement floor. Does… Does that mean that… Oh! Maybe the monsters are real!

I press B10.

That was a mistake.

The elevator creaked. I sat down on the middle seat. *Crick, Creak*. The elevator dropped like the Tower of Terror. I passed out.

Floor B11

I woke up in agony. I’m so sorry. I sobbed. Someone please make the pain stop. I pick myself up, piece-by-piece. I want to vomit. I stagger out of the elevator and into a cave, wheezing and choking. Snot is dripping out of my nose. I closed my eyes.

“Hey, Kid!”

My eyes popped open. Someone was here! Please help! I collapsed onto my knees.

“Can you heal yourself?”

“No! *cough* I can’t!” I sputtered, “Please helb me!”

I saw a pair of red glowing lights. I whimpered.

“Shush… Get up”.

I forced myself up.

“Why?”

And then the thing grabbed me.

“Please be quiet. I didn’t think I would have to take care of you”.

He picked me up, bridal style.

“You are awfully weak. That’s suspicious. I’m not taking you to the doc… We’re going home”.

He got a blanket out of nowhere and slowly wrapped it around me. He then walked away, carrying me off as if I were a child.

“Say, would a lullaby soothe you? I can feel you shaking”.

I nodded, hacking quickly.

“Hannata no zouko, atashi no zou”

“Amera no yakou, Zakashi no rio”

“Ameragi toya, toya, toya”

“Atashi mayagi”

I slowly closed my eyes. I wanted to go home. I regret trying to go on a ‘little adventure’. I wish I could have just stayed on the first floor.

“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. They don’t like to hear you cry”.

“Who’re ‘they’?”

“‘They’ are the ones who got powerful and lucky enough to be able to hide away from the other floors. They’ve long stopped considering humans to be worthy prey, instead terrorizing below average Demiurges”.

“What does that make you?” I was just curious.

“I am the servant of the Lesser Demigod Flicker, Being of Communication and Electromagnetism”.

“Why did you save me?”

“If you got down here, then you must be very powerful. Be it strength, intelligence, constitution, wisdom, or charisma, you must be powerful”.

He could force having any form of constitution off of that list.

“When pushed down to nothing, even the most enduring would cry”.

“Did… did you just…?”

“Yes, I did just read your mind. Don’t worry. Everyone who has lived on a mortal plane for their younger years has had trouble hiding thoughts and defending their mind. I’ll teach you. I have to teach you”.

We kinda stopped talking after that. And I kinda fell asleep.

Grimward’s Home

“Hmmmm, hmmmm hmmm. Hmm Hmmm Hmmmm Hmmmmmmm”.

The Grim Reaper was right there, humming to himself, knitting a black scarf.

“Hmmm? Oh hello Emmy. Why are you so surprised?”

“Who’s Emmy?”

“Oh, you don’t remember? Do you know who Gunshot is?”

“No”.

“How about Cat?”

“No”.

“Starstorm?”

“No? Why are you asking me about these people?”

“Just checking if you are who you think of yourself. Do you know about someone who calls themself Underworld?”

“No, but he sounds like a prick”.

“AH-HA! You are but an innocent victim of a man who exploited the reincarnation system. His name is Emmy and he left you early. Underworld is/was his lover an-”

“Underworld is-slash-was his WHAT?”

“Have you not thought that men could commune with each other? Or even that women could commune with each other”.

“I… I didn’t know people could do that. I mean how would they do that?”

“You will learn that when you grow up. Can I continue?”

“Yeah. Just kinda weirded out. I was a guy and I liked men”.

“Gunshot was his second-in-command. Cat was his second lover. Starstorm is a random chick that he liked for a reason I have a pet theory on that I’m not telling you”.

“O.K…. Sooo what does that mean to me?”

“It means this is a safe place. Nothing to worry about here. Talk to me about anything you have a problem with”.

“I want to go home”.

“Yeah… About that. Someone stole all 13 of the buttons from the elevator’s panel. Yes, some asshole wants you to stay down here. Hmmmm”.

“Why would someone want me to stay down here?”

“Because they want you to go mad. Yes. I think Emmy isn’t too happy that you haven’t died”.

“How the hell does that even work?! Did he possess my body?”

“No. When he lacks a body, Emmy watches and follows his incarnations. Sometimes he takes physical form to gaslight, lock things up, and make damn well sure they either die or succumb”.

“Well that’s terrifying”.

“Don’t worry. He prefers to watch. I don’t know what sets him off anymore. It appears we must part. Farewell Miss, see you tomorrow night”.

“Wait! Wait!”

???’s Farm

“Good Morning to you, Good Morning to you, Good Morning La-dy~ Good Morning to you”.

Fudgesicles. This was real. That guy was real.

“Welcome to the land of the wake. Can I know your name?”

“Y-yeah? I guess? My name is Maxie Theseus. I’m just a kid. I don’t have the power you want me to have”.

“Cute~. Say, would you like to take over my farm after you heal up? I’m moving on to something better in existence”.

“I-yeah. I’ll take it as long as you can help me find a way home”.

“Sure Maxie, why not. I’ll also have to find someone else to take over the farm after you leave, so that will take a while. Why don’t we go and explore the farm?”

He helped me up. I’m different. It… it hurts. He forced me to walk. 1-step, 2-step, 3-step, 4-step, 5-step, 6-step, 7-step, 8-step, 9-step, 10-step. 10 steps to get from the bed to the door. He picks me up.

“Stop crying. You’ll have to walk more later”.

Suddenly, those words were more intimidating. I could tolerate the guy. But now, he was terrifying.

“Good to know you’re not crying anymore. Now, all you have to do is stop being so scared, and you’ll be fine. Everyone in town will like you”.

“There’s a town down here?”

“Yes, we’re going there tomorrow. I’ll have to dress you up a bit, but you’ll be fine”.

He opened the door, revealing a normal grassy pasture, a normal bright blue sky, and the sun. The sun looked like a child had drawn it. Orange triangles floating only a few inches away from a yellow circle. A yellow circle with a sideways diamond shaped eye. A sideways diamond shaped eye with three simple pupils. The middle one long, the two side ones short.

“You’re scared of the sun? Maxie, the sun is one of the few things keeping this farm going”.

“Yeah, I just… I don’t want to be impolite but the sun kinda freaks me out”.

“Don’t worry, It’s fine. You seem to be new here. [Farmer], did you bring her in during the night?”

“Yes, yes, I did. Are you angry at me for being a good person? I saved her from bleeding out, unknown and unremembered. Is that not good enough?”

“I know you better than to believe that. I’ll keep a sky high eye out for you doing bad things towards her”.

“Fine, we’re here. Welcome to the barn… Goddamnit”.

The barn was a bizarre sight. As it was on fire. A group of tiny sheep were trying to put out the blaze, with buckets on their backs and intensely panicked expressions. A small red, furless, woolless ram sat inside the barn, with a face best described as blank. Not literally, but it’s face betrayed no emotion.

A gust of wind forcefully blew the fire out.

“I’m sorry about this. My Putto are less than competent, and my Imp is a troublemaker. NOW FIX THIS!”

The small sheep bounced over to another building, one lost it’s bucket.

“Can you grab that?” the [Farmer] asked me, “I’ll put you down, you walk over and pick it up. I’ll pick you up if you can’t walk anymore”.

He put me on my feet. They still felt raw, but I could do this.

1-step, 2-step, 3-step, 4-step, 5-step, 6-step.

That wasn’t bad. I turn around. The guy has disappeared.

1-step, 2-step, 3-step, 4-step, 5-step, 6-step.

I’m just going to explore the barn. A small stable and a chicken coop. With a burnt hole in it. I leave the barn. I’m going back to the house.

1-step, 2-step, 3-step, 4-step, 5-step, 6-step, 7-step, 8-step, 9-step, 10-step, 11-step.

Almost there.

1-step, 2-step, 3-step, 4-step, 5-step, 6-step, 7-st-

“Hey kid, do you know where Boss is?”

The Ram was right there. Right next to the door. And he was speaking to me. Was he what Boss/the [Farmer]/That guy meant by ‘Imp’?

“I don’t know. He just disappeared when I went to pick up this bucket”.

“Bastard. He left you to suffer and your wounds to fester. I will never allow him to return in the daytime without apologizing”.

The Sun sat low on the horizon.

My stomach growled.

“I’m going inside. I need to get some rest and eat some food”.

I pull the door open. I slowly walk in. I am safe. I’m O.K. Today was rough. I hope this all was just one long stupid dream. I go to the other side of the house. It had a kitchen. I open a cabinet. There’s a little packet that says it has noodles. I open another cabinet. A pot. There is a sink in front of the window at the back of the house. I fill the pot with warm water. I sat the pot on the oven, put on the boily thing, and walked over to the bed side of the house.

I sat on the bed. I finally decided to look myself over. Bandages covered my legs. I won’t be taking them off. Not yet. My arms are also covered in bandages. Bandages are rapping my ch-

There’s a hole in my abdomen, stretching from just below my belly button to just below my boobs. Not good. Not good at all. I can see the bones. I seal the hole with the bandages.

My head aches. I grab my head. It’s not the one I had yesterday. It’s-It’s not. My chin’s spiky(two spikes, to be exact), my teeth- my lips are gone. There are only cinderblock teeth. I reach for the bridge of my nose and almost poke myself in my eyes. My eyes are bigger. I tap the tip of my nose-tik. It’s a metal rectangle. I rub my temples. Eyelashes that feel like felt protrude from the sides of my eyes. My hair is really soft and really fluffy. Except in two little areas in the back. I had horns. Hair horns.

The water is now bubbling. I go over to the pot, break the noodles, I pop the noodles in. I check the packet. 3 minutes, stir once for slightly soft noodles, stir twice for medium softness, stir three times or more to make edible for mortals. I’m so tired. I need a wooden spoon, a bowl, a pot holder and a fork. I open the cabinet above the oven, there’s the bowls. I open one of those sliding cabinets. There’s a nice collection of silverware, a wooden spoon, and a bottle of some liquid. I grab a fork and the wooden spoon. I. do. NOT. touch. the. Bottle. I place the bowl and fork onto the counter that juts out towards the bedside. I stirred the pot. Just a bit longer. I poke the noodles with the wooden spoon. Definitely soft enough. I turned off the boily thing. I’m doing great. I poured the noodles and some water into the bowl. I got the flavor packet out. Dumped it in. frick, some of it is on me. I’m just going to eat and have the consequences follow me later. I’m so tired. The noodles are too hot but I’m eating them right now just to get them done.

The taste is good. It’s chicken, but not quite. The noodles are just the right size and softness to be slipped between my teeth. The taste is good. It’s chicken, but not quite. I eat more and more and mor and mor and mr and mr and-

The bowl is now empty. It was so nice to eat. I’m even more tired now. But it’s a happy tired. A kind of tiredness that says I’ve accomplished something. Even if this is real and I haven’t actually done anything, I feel good.

I place the bowl, the wooden spoon, and the fork into the sink. I’ll wash them tomorrow.

I walk over to the bed and get in. It creaks beneath me. Strange. It held me well in the morning. 1-sheep, 2-sheep, 3-sheep, 4-sheep, 5-sheep, 6-sheep, 7-sheep, 8-sheep, 9-sheep, 10-sheep. It takes a while for me to start dozing. I can normally force myself to go to sleep. Why isn’t it working? Why can’t I sleep? There is something watching me. Who is watching me? I’m scared. I want to go home. Let me try again: 1-sheep, 2-sheep, 3-sheep, 4-sheep, 5-sheep, 6-sheep, 7-sheep, 8-sheep… 9-sheep…… 10-sheep.