#when I have all this shit in my folder
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Did not expect something so small to be my breaking point but holy fuck I need out of this job
#to be as vague as humanly possible#I have a folder where all my silly lil work goes#and sometimes my silly little work needs to go to someone to give me some silly information before I finish that lil work#so I make cute lil sub folders to tuck those guys away bc they’re not done#but I’m not touching them for like over a week until I hear back from the powers that be#and we just got told#to make deadline days easier#(one fucking day a month)#we now can’t have sub folders#so I’m somehow expected to keep like 15+ things straight#bc I can’t tuck them away#and that is making me so irrationally angry#bc it’s gonna fuck with my productivity so much#to figure out what thing I’m gonna be working on#when I have all this shit in my folder#and part of our deadline days was LITERALLY TO GET RID OF THESE SUBFOLDERS#and we had a meeting today to justify this#and they just… didn’t give us any more information#this is absolutely one of the smaller things#but to just do this bs that inconveniences us so much the entire month#so we save like a couple hours (MAYBE) once a month#for the higher ups who have to do quality check stuff on these folders#is my breaking point
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#shedinja#now THIS is what i'm talkin' about! i love shedinja. i think it's a very unique pokémon and wonder guard is very *cool* if only it were ever#y'know. relevant. this thing is weak to way too many types for it to be relevant but like it's still cool in concept i think#you kinda can't tell what it is from this angle but that's why you have me here to tag it so you do know what it is#so. bit of a life update for you all. i accidentally deleted some semi-important files i needed for work. like two weeks ago#and i didn't realize i did‚ bc they were inside a folder that i deleted. but i didn't need the files at the time and i hadn't for months#i hadn't used those files since like last year. but now i need them again and i just realized that i deleted them two weeks ago#by accident? and now i need them again. to be able to do my work. so i'm actually queueing this guy and the next guy up#while i'm supposed to be working. as i've just sent an email to my boss being like Haha Hey. Do you Have a Backup of tHese Files……… PLease#and i'm hoping DESPERATELY that she does. if she doesn't i'll have to fucking reverse engineer them which i am not excited for#if it comes to fruition. so i'm just hoping she has a copy of them. feelin like shedinja against a fire-type rn fr i swear#i'll let you all know what she says when i get her response. if i get it before i'm done queuing up shedinja and whismur#spoilers. whismur is next but you could just look up the natdex numbers. and know that whismur is next#also don't tell me to look in the trash. on my computer. i know they're not there. for one i checked and for two they couldn't be there#because i rm -r'd the folder. i didn't just right-click delete that shit. i killed that shit. it's GONE#you might be asking me… why would you do that! and i would say? i did not know these files were in there#you didn't ask for all this information so i'm cutting it off here
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oh my god sorry to be vagueposting original shit but i need to document the moment my central dragon story's main Hero and Villain completely fucking switch places
#holyyyyyyy shit#holy shit that fits so much fucking better....#ohhhhh my god and if i do THAT then THIS could happen and THAT could be the catalyst for AAAAAAAAA FUCK#*kronk voice* oh yeah. its all comin together#shoutout to The Leaving Song by Chris Garneau#for spontaneously making the dots connect#watch in a day im gonna think on this and im gonna become the 'you didnt connect shit' meme#no but... ough.... oof.... ouchie....#im gonna fucking BITE someone i love it when it Clicks!!!!#ok good my tablet is outta juice so its the perfect opportunity to go into my dragons doc folder#and go absolutely fucking ham in the Ideas doc#i am restringing the corkboard in my brain#absolutely unprompted#OHHHHH MY GOD FUCKING WAIT! OH NO. OH. OHHHHH#OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE DOTS ARE CONNECTINGGGGGGGGGGG#THEY ARE CLICKING INTO FUCKING PLACE#YEAH SEX IS GREAT BUT HAVE THE PIECES FOR YOUR ORIGINAL STORY EVER FALLEN PERFECTLY INTO PLACE#something was off and this was it#because if THAT kills her and then she ohhhh oh oh oh yep yes#and that makes him... and then She.... oh and the archive....#GONNA EAT CONK CRETE LETS GO! LETS! FUCKING! GO!#apologies for the minor breakdown i am. Very passionate about my silly little guys#despite never posting about them ever#ohhhhhh it feels so good to have Coherent thoughts.... my braincase feels so clear for the first time in so long#but i can feel the fog rolling back in so i need to jot this shit down FAST#YEEHAW and might i say HAWYEE!!!!
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A very interesting cloud formation!
#I don't think I had ever really seen clouds like this before? it looks like a cool painting or something :0#Pulling just a few images from my cloud and sky photos folder which has like 650 pictures in it becvause I'm obsessed with the sky lol#I will usually spare everyone the cloudposting but... in some exceptions when it's really cool I must Share#(upcoming covid mention in tags for those avoiding the topic)#I WANT TO BE ON AN AIRPLANE SO SO BAD I am going to start casting evil spells to explode all these 'back to normal' bastards who are out#spreading virus and shit HHHHHH... Covid is NOT over actually contrary to popular beielf especially for people with health conditions#that make them more vulnerable or would have worse consequences if they were to catch it etc. etc. wearing a mask in public is#in MOSt cases not THAt much of a horrific terrible evil inconvenience and it helps keep everyone around you safer including these#vulnerable populations!!!! Even if I didn't have any problems myself I would STILL be masking because it's a small gesture that can make a#big difference in people around me being comfortable. It's not like people with health issues just never have to go out or go to the stor#or whatever. There are still people out there who could be helped by extra precautions that are being overlooked. grrrrr...#Like at this point since I'm vaccinated and everything I would MAYBE consider flying on an airplane IF everyone else around me#was masking and being just as careful as me. But at this point it's just the wild west and I would literally be the only one who gives#a shit or who gets tested freqeuntly before after and during traveling and wears the proper type of mask well fitting and not half off my f#ce and blah blah blah. And precautions work best when EVEYRONE is participating. There's only so much you can protext yourself if everyone#around you is doing nothing. So.. alas.. I still do not feel safe traveling. And probably won't for years until more progress is made in#terms of like understanding and treating certain long covid issues and etc. Since I think it's inevitable that if I start going out again#I would get covid. Me and my household bubble are some of the only people I know who haven't had it yet (or at least not knowingly so - if#so it was one of the asymptomatic cases etc.). So if I was GOING to get it anyway I'd at least like the assurance that whatever long term#issues I inevtabley suffer because of it will be more easily treatable at that point instead of entirely disabling even further than I'm#already disabled. etc. AAANYWAY!! all that to say. I JSUT REALLY WANT TO be on an airplane!!! I dont even like traveling and going places I#hate vacations and would rather be at home working on my projects I'm fixated on lol HOWEVER I love the view from airplane windows#like the very few times in my life Ive actually been on a plane and the window is so COLD when you lay your forehead on it and sometimes yo#even see little ice crystals and it's like you're just in a landscape of clouds with a sea of clouds above and below and aaaAAAAAA#Literally I want to get on a plane just to go up in the air and then land and fly back. I don't even want to go on a real trip. I just NEED#to see the sky I need to be IN the sky I need to have that VIEW and the cold and everything!!!! gRGGHGgg... And I will do that the entire#time. I think my longest plane ride was 7 hours and I do not watch movies. I dont text or play games. I literally do nothing to entertain#myself except stare straight out the window for 7 hours (with a few eating and bathroom breaks). not even joking lmao. It's like a trance#I LOVE the sky and clouds so much and the view you get from an airplane is like incomparable!! also I love airports with the big windows an#people watching. but mostly I just long for the sky view again. GRRR.. sobbing and yearning >:T
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Look. I'm not saying he snuck back into the place where his best friend got mortally wounded, and he watched some old fuck get murdered, just to use a pool, but also, that would be a very in character thing to do.
#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk vp#cyberpunk photomode#my vp#masc v#i was trying to find somewhere to take pics of didi to write up his bio#ended up doing this instead#feels like im learning to do shit all over again#because when i first started playing the proper screenshot function didn't work?#like it saved them somewhere it apparently wasn't meant to and when i tried to take shots using one of the filters or frames#it took a first person view of the actual location instead#it was weird so i avoided using that built in feature and instead just used steams built in screnshots#or nvidia's one#but its been working fine for a bit now#i dont know when#so im trying to get into the habit of doing this cause it does have A Quality that is really nice#but yeah leaves me feeling like it's all new again and that the in game lighting cannot be trusted so i have to keep opening up the folder#to look at shots to adjust lights vs being able to do so just in game#vibes of ivan#too punk to fuck (cyberpunk)
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Artist has their ups and downs where sometimes they love their art and 30 secs later they hated it and that includes me too where minutes after I finished painting I just stared at it with pure malice and I want to rip it apart but shhh I am not putting myself down right now dont worry hhhh
I love Utonium but the moment when I was obsessing with Jack has got to be my favourite because personally most of my fav art that I've made was the moment when I did my selfship art with Jack like I look back at it now and I still love it and want to stare at it all day and like "Wow, I did that". That's the only rare time where I look at my drawings and just want to cup it and cherish it and sing lullabies to it and this is genuine I am not joking I love it so much 🥲💕
#yes Utonium has a very special place in my heart but I cant deny that I don't always love the selfship art that I've made of him#i mean like there are times when I drew Chloe and Utonium together and after I finished painting them I was like 'yeah no this is shit'#i have tons of their art in my art folders that I actually do not remember doing so because I just love it enough#*i just dont love it enough#so i have moments when i checked my art folder and I cant recall when I draw it because its not pretty enough for me to remember#but when it comes to Jack I remember all of the selfship art I've made of him#like sometimes I feel like I peaked there lol#i wish I get to do that for Miguel soon ahshwkqjslq#asuka speaks
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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chilling vibing getting stuff done and then suddenly getting hit by 'why do you try so hard to make something new and good and bend yourself backwards pushing for quality when that stuff is mostly discouraged and low effort quantity-over-quality stuff is constantly rewarded'
#life#was on a high after writing quite a bit today#but now feel like a deflating balloon lmao#like yeah nah yeah i've worked with social media enough to know that you have to play 'their' game in order to 'succeed'#but that whole premise is so soulless and yet#it's the shit paradox that most often the less time and effort you put into something the more likely it will do good online#but with constantly diminishing returns it can get pretty tough#like the pattern is there it's all in motion#and it's just gonna get worse and worse and worse#people barely reblog anymore barely comment#i started posting my writing because i thought 'well at least one person might like it!'#like... i cannot NOT write it's just who i am#but even with the folders full of personal writing and whatnot at some point i stopped#because writing is just incredibly lonely and it was starting to make me feel worse about it so i stopped#but yeah nah fam#i'm just fully in the period shits and getting emotional#but the ongoing decline of engagement and communication is just sad to see#like even artists around me who are incredibly talented i see them barely get any notes and if they do it's pretty much all likes#shit's depressing fam#and then on top of that we have people stealing shit from us#like that fucking guy who copied every bg3 creator's ideas and then started playing victim when called out#what was up with that lmao
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FUCK YOUR FATHER FUCK YOUR FATHER FUVK YOUR FATHWR FU--
#final one tonight (and the one i was looking for when i found the other one i was initially looking for)#(in my. fucking. folder.)#this has to be book 1??? i'm certain it is (shot taken revisiting prev books)#still like. this is so fuvked up. like. it's been so long and so it's easy to forget (esp w gustav being canonically dead now)#but like. imagine having a parent who refuses to fucking talk to you in your own fucking house#just cause they disagree w a choice you made.#and like as i say that i know for some people they don't have to imagine. severely fucked up and i'm so sorry.#UGH..... IT'S JUST...... SO UNFATHOMABLY CRUEL.#oh but he's just strict. a stern father figure. dude shut up i'm gonna throw up LMFAOOOOO#also not to be queer about it but oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god. jesus fucking christ. FUCK#there are many reasons alfonse fire emblem makes me insane and unwell and this js one of them#to me he's like. def queer but not in a way where it's visible. heavily influenced/defined by his agab and how he was raised due to it.#he has Just Enough things going for him to make it so he has done Everything Right.#and yet. that does not free him from SO many horrors. in a way he's punished for it. but it's all he's ever known.#it's normal. he's normal. everything is normal. this is just how it's supposed to be.#i'm going to chew on his arm. gnaw at his fuvking shoulders. have him sit on my lap and be held.#for once in his fuckinh life.#what thw fuck ever man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXPLODE ‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#fe alfonse
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#my peculiar wife#i'm not rewatching speaking of sex atm i just found this in the vaults (my screenshot folder)#then again i might rewatch it today because i feel like shit and seeing him in such a..... state..... might improve matters#at least yesterday wasn't a total bust#and by that i mean i actually had a decent day yesterday which i haven't been able to say in ages#i left my cave and went to an estate sale where an incredibly attractive middle aged gentleman with silver hair let me have#these two big wooden roll top boxes full of cassettes (many of which are sealed blanks!) for five bucks.....#i haven't gone through them thoroughly yet but it looks like there's a lot of early appalachian gospel#can't go wrong there.........#the man kept calling me sir#sometimes it baffles me that i “”“pass”“” these days because my hair is so damn long and i keep my face clean shaven#so that's nice#with how depressed i've been sometimes i hate to acknowledge when i have a decent day or even a decent moment#because i almost superstitiously feel it will act as a magnet for my depression to swoop in and feed on it#and out of that fear my depression has developed this sort of..... personified stubbornness#where i both consciously and unconsciously avoid what might allow for an opening for “decent moments”.. pleasure.. joy.. whatever might#might grant me relief from pain even just for a moment etc#i don't know what i'm trying to describe here all i know is i feel trying to announce or acknowledge any sort of happiness i experience#feels like i'm directly endangering it#my brain is too scattered right now to try to articulate anything and i don't know why i'm doing so in the tags of a photo of#my peculiar wife james spader#just trying to exist again and not let myself be a hermit to the extent of harold smith which is very much the path i've been on for a long#long time#and i'm chipping away at that nonexistence in strange ways but chipping away nonetheless.......
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all of the fonts i frequently use i don't have them on my laptop.. and everything else
#the thought of having to install all these fonts again is giving me headache#i transferred my whole eco lifestyle folder because i don't want to freaking sit at the pc for hours when i can lie in bed instead#but like.. the laptop doesn't have shit to edit with :)))))))))))#and im having a hard time edit takes so long now#because the screenshots are just.. bad imo#but! i really want to push this gp.. it was the reason i created this blog :'))#and also have something to post while im playing the current save stressfree about the time and stuff#trying to push 2 posts a day but idk#dippi.txt
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He is like an angel to me <3
#akira nishikiyama#every time i see a gifset of this scene and it's THIS quick moment JUST before he slicks his hair back THIS to me is his pinnacle of beauty#look at my beautiful bloodstained koi. succumbing to the darkness but honestly he held out longer than i would so we gotta respect that#also Matsushige. my guy. my dude. why did you think talking shit to a guy JUST after his sister died was a good idea. ya shoulda run#but also thank fuck ya didnt cause i fucking hated ya and im glad pretty koi her fucking gutted ya. absolutely eviscerated. like goddamn#this rewired something in my brain lads#cw blood#almost forgot that bit lol. also the other day i posted this pic and caption in a Discord server im in#yknow with the intention of basically swooning over him because yeah im in love with him right. and one person responded to me#and props to her she was reacting like. properly i suppose? like 'oh it's so sad what happened to him#when it all came crashing down </3' but im here like 'yes the scene is VERY tragic and rips my heart out but thats NOT what im doing here#today lmaooo' i am happy to focus on the tragedy of his character and often do#but right NOW i am trying to sexualize a man covered in the blood of his enemy as his psyche shatters so like <3#theres probably nicer pics of this bit but i dont have them on hand. i might start a 'pretty Nishiki pics' folder on my phone too
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this is somethin awful to look at
#duality of man. i need to write a post abt southern imagery in glam metal but not tn#but there is smth there. the thing w the stars n bars n the way that u see it for no fuckin good reason on cali bands#anyways. duality. im mad that country is that close to glam metal tho how tf did that happen . nothin in that folder existed til october#n i been buildin the glam folder for YEARS#i got some kinda awful dixiana dirt thing happenin to me#there is. so much to unpack here#the thing abt dixie is that it will have a hold on u forever no matter how bad u run away from it#n the thing abt cali is that it calls in the night n u know damn well u wouldn’t make it a fuckin day there#n the thing abt sad blonde southern prettyboys with guitars is that they ain’t got no damn sense#n they ain’t gonna be happy nowhere because there ain’t nowhere cut out for em n there never rly was#so they’re chasin skirts in some old relic of the classy south n dreamin of broadway lights#n gettin their hands n hearts dirty with sins they ain’t got the means to pay off now or in the next life#n makin 3am cigarette runs when they know damn well they swore off that shit#but it don’t rly matter none cuz they ain’t gonna live long enough to see them broadway lights or then sunset lights anyways#i can tell y’all somethin about all that cuz im livin it four on the floor every damn day#the grass is greener bout everywhere but ain’t none of it real except wherever you’re runnin from#n the thing about runnin is once you do it you can’t never really look back#sure. look in the rearview. ain’t the same as you remember is it?#one thing i done learned is that life’s a lot like drivin#n it ain’t no coincidence that i tore the side mirror off my shitbox a couple years ago n cracked the rearview on new years eve#like some kinda fucked up angels sayin son don’t look behind you#some kinda fucked up angels sayin boy quit lookin back or you’re gonna crash#so what’s it gonna be? slow down or don’t look back? y’all fuckers ain’t got no consensus or else im hearin things#ain’t gettin no straight answers#could be that i got the devil down here in dixie tellin me shit that ain’t true n i got them angels of god cornerin me in music stores#sayin shit i weren’t ready to hear#so what’s it gonna be? hoss whisperin in my ear or curtis lowe on devine street?#or durango on my left shoulder?#n i know damn well ain’t none of em wrong#but i ain’t gettin no answers tonight neither way so i’ll take another smoke n think it over
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Wee ha
#Arright here I go again I gotta do some of these when I gotta vent#posting this on the 17th of August#So the elestral thing is going alright. My focus has shifted a LOT there but I'm still working with em#But the majority of my work comes from another client now. It's another one of these things that I'd love to make by myself#But someone else is making it and wanting me to do the art and music. It's gonna be huge. What a life it is. Anyway#This gif is from yet another project I started recently. Separate from Smile More HoaM and anything else. I keep fucking doing this#But this one's strange. It reflects my current working skills I've built up all these years. A multimedia experience that has a start n end#featuring all your favourite elphame characters in a new style. I'm enjoying making it but there's one problem#I haven't worked on it in like a month and a half#Work is piling up. Pixel art is something I don't do for myself anymore#It's not even a case of “as soon as I have time to myself my fingers can't move" it's that I just do not have any spare time lmao#I meet Ashley once or twice a week. We still play digimon a lot but we're taking this month off since she's petsitting and can't go out lat#My flatmate has basically taken the summer off work since his job pays well enough for him to do so#so having him around to play games with is nice. Feels awkward taking baths with him in the house tho lmao#He is kind of the only reason I take breaks. I got pikmin 4 and it is incredible. Genuinely might have replaced Digimon World as 1st place#Mum took Andy and I to Netherlands recently. It was incredible. I played in a local digimon tournament and ate shit#Have just been so excited about travelling lately. Ashy taking me to manchester soon and I think we'll go london next spring or sooner#Worried I'm overdoing it with the tags so I'll sign off here. Work is stressing me out but it looks like big things are happening.#OH MY GOD I HAVE STOPPED BLEEDING BTW. Like almost altogether. Haven't in like a month. The trick is in the big box I rest my feet on.#It's too tall. I tried replacing it with a pile of folders half as tall and my bleeding fucking stopped. No crohn's disease or anything.#Just a big stupid fucking box. Anyway see you
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Aziraphale's got the kind of delusional optimism and naivete that would make Candide go, "Girl, what?"
#good omens#good omens 2#aziraphale#michael sheen#when the brain rot is so deep#it taps into folders I wish I could purge from my mind#like shit I learned in school that I never use#I wish I could slap Voltaire in the face#“best of all possible worlds” my ass#when satire didn't have to be subtle#this is a thoroughly unnecessary reference to classic literature that no one asked for#sorry
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i luv clip studio paint i luv when my power goes out and then when i get my computer back on app decides to just ??!!? delete all my recovery files so i lose a ton of sketches!!!!!
#kms!!!!!!!!#i am shit at organizing my stuff + like this is also just my fualt for never saving but#when i say it was like. at least 300 drawings. that is not an exageration ����😁😁#to very various degrees of finishedness but still im so upset#having joyous fun tonight im actually so happy and thrilled rn#nothing in the backups folder and it just has the files i had open all single layer pngs YAYYY 😂🙏#this is a new issue like my computers reset on me before + all was fine so i did not foresee this being such a problem#but okayyy!!!!!!!! YAYYY!!!!#uwgwghghghhh#months worth of art i will just never see again aweeesomeee
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