#so we save like a couple hours (MAYBE) once a month

[hxxsxxng]

JAKE 심재윤 - LOVE FROM AFAR

MINORS DNI

Word Count : 3.9k

Genre : SMUT, ANGST

Content : bar fight, jealousy, toxic ex, mention on infidelity, unprotected sex, oral f receiving, praising, creampie, implied consumption of alcohol, sloppy make out….. let me know if i missed anything!

Preview : Once Jake finds out that his girl of interest is single, who knows what measures he is willing to take it to protect her?

Authors Note : Thank you to whoever requested this, I definitely had fun writing it!

SUPPORT BY REBLOGGING if you want

You were having a great night catching up with your buddies Felix and Bangchan at the local pub. It had been too long since you all got together like the old days. As they joked and reminisced about the past, you couldn't help but feel grateful for having such caring friends in your life.

Suddenly, Felix's friend Jake arrived, pulling up a chair to join your booth. You vaguely remembered meeting the scruffy-yet-handsome guy with a warm smile once or twice before at other hangouts. He seemed nice enough, if not a little quieter and awkward around you specifically.

As the four of you continued swapping stories and laughing over fresh rounds, something about Jake's furtive glances and blushing kept catching your eye. You couldn't deny the slightly giddy feeling it gave you to rendered this usually composed guy so flustered. He was pretty cute when he got all shy like that.

Maybe it was the liquid courage, or maybe you just felt emboldened by the positive energy. Whatever the reason, you decided to be a little flirty as you leaned in closer to Jake.

"So do you boys always get this rowdy, or am I just bringing out the wild side?" you teased with a wink.

Jake's eyes went wide as his cheeks flushed an even darker crimson. He seemed to be struggling to formulate a response as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Um...w-well, I uh, we don't want to...you know, shock you or anything--"

He was saved by the interruption of your phone ringing. Flashing an apologetic smile, you excused yourself from the booth to take the call. It was your boyfriend wanting to know if you were free later to come over and watch a movie.

"Yeah babe, I'll be there in a couple hours!" you replied affectionately before rejoining the group.

If you had turned back around just a few seconds sooner, you might have caught the way Jake's expression fell when he overheard you refer to your boyfriend. He shrunk back into himself, the brief moment of bravery evaporating.

Over the ensuing months, you noticed Jake never acted quite the same way again when you were around. He was polite and friendly, but also seemed to keep a distance, like he was afraid to let himself get too close. You figured he just wasn't someone who enjoyed casual flirting even in jest. Either way, it didn't really matter since you were happily taken anyway.

Until one day...you weren't anymore. Just like that, a two-year relationship came crashing down after you discovered your boyfriend's unfaithfulness. You were blindsided and devastated.

As you nursed your broken heart, Felix and Bangchan were there every step of the way, rallying around you with movie nights, distraction activities, and a steadfast supportive presence. True friends when you needed them most.

One evening a couple months later, you arrived at a dimly lit bar where the three of you normally met up. You were finally feeling like your old self again after weeks of sadness and anger. Ready to just be around your friends and enjoy a fun night out.

The moment you walked through the door, you heard a familiar voice call out from a booth off to the side.

"Hey! Over here!"

It was Jake, looking as handsome as you remembered even under the low lighting. He had stood up from the booth and was waving you over with a warm smile.

You couldn't help but feel a small flutter of nerves mixed with excitement. Despite the slight awkwardness that encounter at the pub, you always thought Jake seemed like a good guy deep down. And if he was here hanging out with Felix and Bangchan...maybe you could finally get to know him better without that weird tension.

As you reached the booth, exchanging greetings and hello hugs, you noticed Jake's arms linger around you perhaps a beat longer than necessary. And this time when he looked into your eyes, there wasn't a hint of shyness or restraint behind them.

"It's really great to see you out and about again," he murmured once you were all seated. "You're, uh...you're looking as beautiful as ever."

You felt your face warm at the sincere compliment, an unfamiliar bout of flustered energy starting to buzz within you. What was this all of a sudden?

"Uh thanks, Jake...you're not looking too bad yourself," you managed to reply, unable to stop yourself from chewing your lower lip nervously.

Felix and Bangchan traded looks like they were watching a private tennis match, wondering just how heated this newly charged atmosphere might get.

Before things could get too tense though, Felix cleared his throat and changed the subject, regaling you all with a story about a hilarious screw-up at his job earlier that week. You forced yourself to shift your gaze off Jake's intense stare and laugh along with the others.

By the end of the night, you almost felt...disappointed? Like there was some

elephant in the room you wished would address itself directly instead of all this subtext. You brushed it off as emotional vulnerability from your recent breakup making you read into things.

The weeks after, however, proved those suspicions false. Because every interaction, every hangout, every moment with the four of you together continued carrying the same electrifying undercurrent of tension, especially between you and Jake.

The way his warm eyes would linger on you when you laughed, the random innocent touches and grazed caresses that made your skin tingle, the undisguised admiration and want in his gaze when you caught him staring...it was all quickly becoming impossible to ignore or chalk up to simple friendliness.

You couldn't lie, you felt it too - that persistent, gnawing pull toward Jake growing stronger with each encounter. There was just something magnetic about his presence, his humor, his gentle teasing and care for your emotional wellbeing.

But you were still terrified of being vulnerable and opening yourself up again so soon after being burned. Especially to someone like Jake, who clearly had some very intense feelings starting to develop, if they weren't already there to begin with.

That fear reached a fever pitch one evening when the four of you were gathered at Felix's place before heading out. You had just finished getting ready in the bathroom when Jake poked his head in to ask if you needed any help with your hair or makeup.

"Sure, I could use another set of hands back here if you don't mind," you replied absentmindedly, turning away from the mirror to grab a comb.

The next thing you felt were Jake's strong hands gently gathering your hair as he positioned himself directly behind you. His broad chest was nearly pressed against your back, the warmth radiating off him in tantalizing waves.

"Here, let me..." he murmured in that deep, gravelly tone so close to your ear. You caught the intense look in his eyes through the mirror as his fingers deftly began running and separating through your locks.

Every brush of his knuckles against the nape of your neck made your heart skip a beat. The soft, even breaths puffing against your skin raised delicious goosebumps along your arms. And the smoldering, hooded gaze he was burning into you through the mirror reflection was quickly dampening your panties with arousal.

You were both entirely under each other's spells, the thick sexual tension swirling through the small bathroom like an intoxicating fog. All Jake would have to do is turn your chin and slant his lips over yours and you would have melted into a helpless puddle against him.

The trance was finally broken by a muffled shout from the other room of Felix yelling "You two good back there?"

As if getting doused with a bucket of cold water, you and Jake sprung apart, awkwardness and uncertainty crashing back in. You muttered a quick thanks before rushing out of the bathroom, flustered and needing to put some distance between the two of you before you did something reckless.

After tiptoeing around each other for a couple more weeks, you finally broke down one night and asked Felix what the deal was with Jake. Why he was giving you such intense, loaded vibes lately despite having barely interacted before.

Felix let out a long sigh before breaking the truth - Jake had been harboring a massive secret crush on you for years, long before you started dating your now-ex even. But he never acted on it or admitted those feelings because you were already in a committed relationship by the time you met him.

Now that you were newly single, however, all those long-simmering emotions and attractions were bubbling out from Jake at full force. He was struggling with wanting to pursue you, but also not wanting to make you uncomfortable or disrespect any boundaries while you were fresh out of your heartbreak.

You were stunned speechless, your mind swirling as you processed this information. All those small nuanced moments between you and Jake over the past couple of months finally clicked into place. How had you not seen it sooner?

More importantly...what did you want to do about it now? The thought of exploring those sparks between you and Jake made your heart race. But you were also still so freshly vulnerable from being crushed by betrayal and heartache. Could you really take that leap again so soon?

~~~~~

In the weeks that followed after Felix filled you in about Jake's long-standing romantic feelings, you couldn't stop mulling it over. Every time you saw Jake's warm smile or got pulled into his magnetic presence, your mind raced with the possibilities.

There was no denying the potent chemistry and tension that had been building between you two. Even before you knew about Jake's crush, you felt that persistent pull towards him, that fire simmering with every loaded gaze or innocent touch.

Now that you had context for what was truly driving that intensity from his end...it felt like the coals had been stoked into an inferno. You couldn't get Jake off your mind, couldn't stop imagining what it would feel like to finally act on those sparks.

The more you allowed yourself to lean into the fantasy, the more you realized you were falling for him too. Despite the all-too-fresh sting of betrayal, Jake's caring presence and unguarded desire for you were quickly healing those wounds.

Of course, you had reservations about opening yourself up again so soon. But Jake was clearly different - his intentions pure, his affections transparent. Maybe taking that terrifying leap would be worth it after all.

One night, after spending an evening together that had your skin tingling from lingering caresses and eye contact, you finally summoned the courage to go for it. As he walked you to your car, you spun around, grasped the front of his shirt, and pulled him into a searing kiss.

Jake instantly melted into you with a rumbling groan, his strong hands grasping at your waist to pull you flush against him. You lost yourselves in that fervent clash of lips and roaming touches, all those months of unresolved tension pouring out.

When you finally parted, cheeks flushed and chests heaving, the depths of Jake's gaze sparked with pure reverence and awestruck lust. No words were needed as you gazed at each other's swollen lips and tousled hair - you both knew everything had irreversibly changed in the most overwhelming way.

From that moment on, you and Jake were inseparable. You went from months of "what ifs" to not being able to keep your hands off each other. The slightest brush or heated look was enough to have you desperate to jump his bones at any opportunity.

For Jake, it was like a dream come true after pining from afar for so long. Finally being able to worship every perfect inch of you, to tangle his body with yours, to drink in your breathy moans and whimpers...he never wanted this haze to end.

You were both entirely drunk on each other, drowning in the depths of your smoldering passion. Any lingering fears or heartache you had were washed away by the passionate intensity Jake craved you with, how eternal his devotion felt.

Of course, such a whirlwind romance wasn't without ruffling some feathers. About two months into your torrid new relationship, you crossed paths with your ex at a local bar while out with friends.

"Well, well..." the snide voice called out as soon as they spotted you. "If it isn't my favorite dumped loser found someone newer, dumber, and even more desperate to settle for less."

You instinctively shrank back, feeling that old sense of shame and hurt bubble up despite Jake's arm protectively wrapped around you. But this time, you didn't have to face that menace alone.

Jake immediately stepped forward, jaw clenched as he attempted to keep his fury in check. "Why don't you do yourself a favor and get the hell out of here before I make you," he warned in a low, dangerous tone.

Your ex only scoffed, clearly finding amusement in watching Jake's anger boiling over. With a drunken saunter, they closed the gap between you, keeping their gaze locked on yours.

"Don't forget, I know you better than this sad rebound ever will," they taunted with a cruel smirk. "I know all the filthy little things that got you--"

Whatever nasty comment they hoped to sling next was cut off by Jake's hand violently shoving them backwards. Your ex's dumbfounded shock soon dissolved into equal rage as they came charging back at Jake, grabbing him by the collar as the two began exchanging shoves.

"Hey, hey! Break it up!" your other friends tried jumping in to separate the heated tussle, but not before your ex landed a hard punch square on Jake's cheekbone.

That was the final straw. Like some primal switch being flipped, Jake totally snapped. With a feral growl, he tackled your ex to the ground, taking a few more solid hits as the two rolled around in furious punches and choke holds.

"Jake! Oh my god, stop!" you cried out in horror, watching helplessly.

It wasn't until a handful of bouncers finally broke through to pull them apart that the violence ceased. Jake was dragged out back by a couple of the burly guards, clothes disheveled and sporting a split lip while the other patrons sneered at your ex being dragged out as well.

Your heart was still racing from the adrenaline and shock as you rushed out the back exit after Jake. He was leaning against the wall, chest heaving and knuckles bleeding from the brawl.

"Jake! Are you okay?" you rushed over, cradling his face to inspect the damage. He hissed at the contact against his wounded skin before melting into your touch with a heavy exhale.

Those stormy irises locked onto yours, slightly glazed but burning with pure longing and possession. "I'm so sorry, baby...I just..." he rasped, voice dripping with unrestrained desire. "I just couldn't stand the thought of that piece of shit being anywhere near you, talking to you that way..."

One of his hands slid up to tangle desperately in your hair while the other snaked around your lower back, pulling your hips flush against his hardening length. "You're mine now," he growled before capturing your mouth in a torrid, demanding kiss.

You opened for him with a heady whimper, the thrill of claiming this smoldering, dominant side of Jake setting your blood on fire. His tongue invaded greedily as he walked you backwards, pinning you against the wall with his body weighing deliciously against you.

~~~~~

Any care for location or being seen was abandoned as Jake's arousal ground shamelessly against your core, his big hands gripping and roaming with reckless possession. You gave back as good as you got - raking nails down his back, nipping at his full lips with moans muffled between heated clashes of tongue and teeth.

Just as the frenzied make-out was reaching a fever pitch, a loud clatter from behind the dumpster nearby caused you both to jump apart, chests heaving. Jake's eyes bored into yours, still glazed with lust but now mixed with frustration at the interruption.

"Get in the car," he rasped in a low rumble, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the parking lot. "We're going somewhere more private."

You eagerly followed, legs still wobbly from the dizzying heat coursing through you. The ride to Jake's apartment felt like an agonizing eternity with how badly you were both aching to crash together again. He kept one hand firmly planted on your thigh, thumb tracing maddening circles that had you squirming.

The second you crossed the threshold into his place, Jake pinned you against the door, claiming your lips in another heated, desperate clash. You melted into him as his talented fingers quickly divested you of your dress, palms roaming every newly exposed inch of skin.

You fumbled with his belt and jeans as he attacked the sensitive spots along your neck and collarbone with a trail of opened-mouth kisses. Each graze of his teeth and insistent suckle from those full lips had you whimpering in delirious need.

Somehow you managed to get Jake's pants undone, allowing his thick hardness to spring free as he kicked them off along with his shoes. You drank in a shuddering breath at the glorious sight of his arousal, already leaking with need for you.

Jake's heated gaze followed yours, a prideful smirk tugging at his swollen lips. "You like what you see, baby?" he rumbled, giving himself a slow, teasing stroke.

You bit your lip with a tiny nod, unable to tear your eyes away. That only made his cocky grin widen further as he leaned in close, beard tantalizingly scratching your jaw.

"I'm going to make you feel so good, make you remember that you belong only to me" he murmured, the deep timbre of his gravelly desire sending shivers straight to your core. "Let me worship every perfect inch of you, nice and slow..."

As if to emphasize his point, Jake trailed a series of torturously unhurried open-mouthed kisses down your neck and chest again before dropping to his knees. His smoldering gaze remained locked on yours as his fingers hooked into your soaked underwear and slowly dragged them down your trembling legs.

You were bare before him now, glistening arousal fully exposed to his ravenous stare. Jake's hands roamed back up the smooth skin of your thighs, close to your throbbing center yet making no move to provide relief just yet.

"Such a gorgeous sight..." he husked in reverence. "All mine."

Unable to take any more teasing, you carded your fingers through his thick locks as his lips ghosted nearer to your pussy. "Please, Jake..." you mewled desperately.

That was all the encouragement he needed before diving in. You cried out at the first swipe of Jake's talented tongue, back arching against the door as waves of electric pleasure flooded through you...

He was relentless, sucking harder and deeper, plundering your wet folds until his tongue was completely coated with your slick essence. You gasped loudly with an intense wave of pleasure, leaving you breathless and panting.

The rhythmic motion driving you insane until you suddenly broke down into violent, uncontrolled moans of ecstasy. It was over too soon though as Jake pulled away, sitting back on his heels with a self satisfied smile and dark eyes glittering.

He carefully took the wet, limp package in his large hand and gently stroked your slick slit. "You're gonna be so fucking ready for me tonight, sweetheart," he assured huskily. "Trust me. There's nothing you could possibly do that would turn me off."

And then he lowered himself over you, spreading the moisture around, filling you with such potent satisfaction that you almost screamed in bliss. Your legs wrapped themselves around his waist as Jake sank slowly and surely down until he could bury himself inside you easily. As he started slowly moving, you gripped his shoulders tightly with your thighs, your entire body tensing and relaxing under his weight. His hands tightened around your arms and shoulders to make sure you weren't trying to crawl away. He held still, letting your body adjust itself to his thickness until the feeling started to fade. As your legs relaxed, they found a more comfortable place to rest, and your stomach felt better about being full. After you got used to being filled up, he reached down to gently cup your tit in one large hand as he pressed himself even deeper, burying himself within you with one hard thrust. His long fingers caressed your soft skin, drawing groans from your lips with every flick of his finger.

With the most powerful thrusts, Jake filled you completely in one go, filling you entirely and filling every single space. For a moment it seemed like there wouldn't be enough room anymore in your womb; you'd never been so far gone before with anyone else, but Jake made that possible by holding you so close and filling you so much you couldn't get enough of each other.

You held tight to his muscular back, digging your heels into the mattress as he pounded into you with a relentless rhythm, your walls clenching down on his rigid shaft with a fierce, hungry grip. He let out a feral growl of satisfaction as you writhed beneath him, grinding yourself against him faster and quicker, begging for release. Your whole body shook with pent up passion, the need to come crashing down on you like a tsunami.

With a sharp jerk, he suddenly stiffened underneath you, causing you to cry out. His breathing became labored as your pussy clenched around his girth with unrelenting intensity. You didn't think you'd ever seen his face contort in agony quite like that before. You both took a deep breath at the same time and released it in unison as he let you cum around his dick. His cock twitched inside of you, but you didn't want to break eye contact; he was still so intent on looking at you. Your hands reached up to run through his hair again, and he bent down to kiss you gently as you both enjoyed each other's company. Then it was over in an instant as he came with a deep grunt breaking the kiss, body shaking with the force of his release, painting his white masterpiece on your walls as he slumped forward, resting his forehead heavily against your naked belly with hot tears streaming down his flushed cheeks.

“I will not let him bother you ever again”

[imaginespazzi]

Part 3: Miss Me, Miss Me Not

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9

And it hits me when the lights go on (shit, maybe I miss you)

(In which a lazy writer somehow still manages to make her deadlines, much to her own shock)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining and a teensy bit of Fluff

Words: 5.8K

TW: Swearing (once again I think that's it?)

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I'm not gonna lie til about an hour ago, I very much did not think I was gonna give y'all a Monday update but here we are! A couple of housekeeping things, I went back and added months to the years so hopefully that's more helpful. I lowkey dislike this part but I felt like the fic needed it and I'm excited to write the next part. Ngl, the editing on this is pretty nonexistent because trying to read this back lowkey killed me so please feel free to point out mistakes so I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, and disliked and anything you wanna see going forward. I really appreciate all of y'alls feedback and the long reviews make my day! Have a good rest of your week lovies <3

September 2017

Azzi: just got home :) 

It’s a simple text and it should be easy for Paige to conjure up an equally simple reply. Instead she finds herself typing and deleting, over and over, because nothing sounds quite right. There’s this hollow feeling thrumming in her chest, that has only gotten stronger every passing minute since she’d said goodbye to Azzi at the airport. If she tries hard enough, she can still feel the remnants of their last hug lingering against every inch of her skin. She wants to memorize that feeling and create a blanket out of its threads to numb the ice cold shiver that’s been repeatedly running through her veins from the second Azzi had gotten on that plane. But even that might not be enough. Not when she’s learnt just how warm Azzi’s presence can be and how everything else pales in comparison. 

Paige lies to herself that it’s an accidental slip of her fingers, that she’d meant to press send not call, that she had every intention of hanging up the facetime on the first ring itself. 

But then Azzi picks up on the second one.

And really it would be rude to hang up. 

“Hey what’s up?” Azzi’s face fills the screen, tired eyes staring intently at Paige through the screen. 

“Oh um-” Paige fumbles for words, awkwardly shuffling her feet that are dangling off the side of her bed, “I just wanted to ask how your flight was?”

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “you couldn’t have texted me that?”

“Too tired to text,” Paige lies and the words i just wanted to hear your voice stay stuck, burning hot, in her throat, “gotta save these money-making fingers for more important things.”

“Yeah I’m hanging up-”

“NO-” it comes out far more forceful than it should and if possible, Azzi’s eyebrow shoots up even farther, as Paige clears her throat, “I mean- uh- you didn’t tell me how your flight was.”

Paige is too busy cringing at herself to notice the light blush that tinges Azzi’s cheeks. She’s too busy wondering why this girl brings out this nervous bumbling side of hers to notice the fond smile that almost cracks through Azzi’s lips. 

“The flight was okay. I actually got to sleep this time,” Azzi says pointedly and Paige laughs. 

“So what you’re saying is it was boring as hell.”

“I’m saying it was really peaceful not having someone yapping in my ear while I was trying to sleep.”

“So you didn’t miss me?” Paige presses, trying to keep her voice teasing despite how desperately she wants the admission. 

Azzi hesitates, as if she’s debating with herself, before, “I didn’t say that.”

It’s a little ridiculous how large Paige’s grin is but it’s okay, because Azzi’s smiling back, soft and shy. They’d look foolish to anyone else, the way they’re so intently gazing at each other through a screen as if there’s no barrier between them at all. 

“It’s gonna be weird going to the gym without you tomorrow morning,” Paige confesses after a second, moving to lay down on her stomach. 

“I bet. You’re gonna get absolutely nothing done without me,” Azzi teases dramatically before her eyes soften, “it’s weird that I’m not gonna see you at all tomorrow.”

There’s something gut-wrenching about that admission and yet, there’s something in it that heals a part of Paige’s heart that she hadn’t even known needed to be fixed. It means something to her that Azzi must feel it too. Because if she’s honest with herself, Paige had been just a little afraid that maybe the connection was just in her head, that maybe Azzi was simply tolerating her presence out of kindness. 

“You should just move to Minnesota,” Paige replies finally, “much nicer than Virgina or whatever.”

“Have you ever even been to Virginia?” Azzi asks, eyebrows raised as she flips herself to lie on her back, holding her phone above her in a way that lets Paige see entirely too much and yet not nearly enough. 

“No but it sounds boring as fuck.”

“Not with me,” Azzi says, biting her bottom lip sheepishly as soon as the words are out. 

Paige smirks, suddenly filled with a brand new confidence, “yeah? You’d make Virgina interesting for me Fudd? What would we do?”

Azzi licks her lips and Paige feels her mouth go dry. 

“We’d be together,” the younger girl says finally, averting her gaze as the depth of her words begin to make Paige feel like she’s being flooded by an ocean of emotions she’s not quite ready to feel yet, “anything can be interesting if we’re together.”

It would be so easy to come up with a sarcastic quip or tease Azzi for being a sap and yet there’s a certain sincerity in this moment that feels too fragile for Paige to feign nonchalance. 

“Is Virginia nice in the winter?” she asks finally, hands fidgeting with the hair ties secured around her wrist, “Minny’s a little too cold sometimes.”

Azzi’s eyes shine and Paige wants to try and read them, find the little clues hidden in her irises and solve the mystery lingering behind the crimson flush of her cheeks. But the truth is that Paige is a little scared of what she’d find, a little scared that discovering Azzi might mean discovering herself too. 

“You should come find out some time,” the brunette says, casual tone filled with intricacies of something far deeper. It’s the closest they’ve gotten to saying anything of actual substance and they tip-toe around saying what they both want, daring the other to ask first. 

“I dunno,” Paige says, determined to win the game, “I’m not in the habit of showing up to places without a proper invite.”

Azzi scoffs, “a proper invite? Are you expecting someone to send you a carrier pigeon with a gold letter addressed to her royal highness or something?”

“That would be nice,” Paige surmises and Azzi rolls her eyes.

“Does your back ever hurt from carrying that ego?”

“Only hurts from carrying my team.”

“Oh my god you’re so full of it.”

“Full of talent? Yessirrrr.”

Azzi huffs, “Paige.”

“Azzi,” Paige hums. 

“Do you wanna come visit me in Virginia during winter break?” Azzi says finally, a small smile playing on her lips like she’s okay with losing this game as long as it’s to Paige. 

“If I must,” Paige says dramatically, shrugging her shoulders and everything as Azzi lets out an offended squeak. But inside, her heart flutters at the offer, at the idea of seeing Azzi again, even if it feels like a lifetime away. Because as long as it’s Azzi on the other side, Paige and her impatient self can wait however long it takes. 

“Actually you know what nevermind, you don’t gotta come,” Azzi concedes bitterly,  scrunching her face (and Paige would never tell her this but she thinks Azzi looks just a little too cute when she’s mad and so maybe she riles her up on purpose)

“No takesies backsies Az,” Paige sing-songs before her lips uptick from a smirk into something more sincere, “hey Az,” she whispers, giggling to herself when Azzi pretends to ignore her, “I’d really like to come see you in Virginia during winter break.”

And as a brilliant grin dazzles across Azzi’s face, Paige realizes that her favorite thing about Azzi’s smile isn’t when her dimples show or when her eyes twinkle, it’s when it’s there because of Paige, when it’s there just for Paige. 

“Good,” Azzi whispers as they fall into a comfortable silence. 

There’s this serene sense of calm that laces itself around Paige’s nerves. Her normally fidgeting body is content to be perfectly still, an anomaly to her usual demeanor. The truth is that Paige isn’t the kind of person who’s okay with just existing; she likes to spend every second in motion, living out the high. There’s a part of her that’s scared of missing moments, scared that the people around her will leave her behind if she doesn’t chase them. But it’s different with Azzi. The younger girl makes Paige feel like it’s okay if she takes a moment to just breathe. Because Azzi will wait. Because Azzi won’t leave Paige behind. 

“Wait,” it’s a little while before Azzi pipes up, shaking Paige out of her thoughts, “what time is it?”

Paige’s eyes flicker to the time on her phone, confused by the line of questioning, “it’s almost 9 why?”

“Don’t you have a team party or something to go to tonight?” Azzi asks, face scrunching, “I swear you told me you had something tonight.”

“Oh-yeah- Amaya’s back to school thing,” Paige sheepishly scratches her neck, suddenly feeling itchy in her flannel shirt. She’d forgotten she was wearing that instead of her daily clothes. Hell, she’d forgotten she was supposed to be going somewhere in the first place, too occupied with other thoughts. 

“Bro get up,” Azzi orders, “you’re already late.”

“Nah it’s fine. I don’t think I’m gonna go,” Paige says and she thinks she should probably feel a little more guilty about it. 

“What do you mean you’re not gonna go?” Azzi asks in disbelief, “dude you’re the star of the team. You have to go.”

“Amaya will understand besides-” Paige drags in a deep breath, feeling vulnerable as the next words fall out in a quiet whisper, “I don’t wanna hang up yet.”

“Paige c’mon we can talk tomorrow,” Azzi tries to protest but it’s half-hearted at best.

“I wanna talk right now,” Paige argues, “you don’t wanna talk to me?”

For a second Paige thinks Azzi might just say no, might just chip away a little bit of heart with a well-intentioned rejection, but she doesn’t, “always wanna talk to you P.”

“Then don’t hang up. Talk to me.”

And Azzi does. All night. 

Two weeks laters there’s a letter, in an envelope with a picture of a carrier pigeon, that arrives in the Bueckers’ mail box. 

To her royal highness, 

Unfortunately I couldn’t find an actual carrier pigeon (I swear I tried) so this envelope and the mailman will have to do. 

~ You are formally invited this winter break to the Fudd family residence in Virginia. ~

(And you better show up Bueckers)

Yours, 

Azzi

February 2033

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Ice whines petulantly as she makes herself comfortable on the couch across from where Paige is getting her makeup done, “this is parental neglect.”

Paige laughs, eyes closed, her makeup artist does her mascara, “you’ll survive.”

“You don’t know that” Ice argues, plucking a grape from the fruit basket before segueing into a rant about how boring Arlington, Texas is. 

Paige is grateful for the distraction her younger friend is providing. Her nerves had been on edge since the moment she’d woken up this morning, anxious to get the impending farewell press conference over with. She’d already started accepting that the Wings weren’t the right place for her but that feeling had only been heightened by her trip to the Valkyries. And ever since she’s come back, Paige feels a little bit like she’s sleepwalking through her final moments in Dallas. If she’s honest, she’s probably rushing things a little bit. There’s still plenty of time before she really has to move to Oakland but it had been her choice to move there as soon as possible. Paige had always been good at conjuring excuses and she had plenty as to why she needed to be in California so soon. But at the end of the day it isn’t about training or team bonding or any of the other hundred justifications she’s given anyone who’s asked. It’s about a little girl who’s eyes had been brimming with tears when saying goodbye, a little girl who had made Paige pinky swear that she’d be back as soon as possible. 

Really, Paige thinks she should be applauded for her restraint, because truth be told, the second Stephie’s lower lip had trembled, Paige had been prepared to ask Ice to just ship her stuff to Oakland so that she’d never have to let go of the little girl’s hand. 

And here’s the thing, Paige is willing to admit she wants to go back to the Bay Area for Stephie. It’s that pesky little part of her that’s desperate to go back for Stephie’s mother, to go back for one more hesitant yet lingering touch, that she won’t ever share with anyone else. 

“I never thought I’d live to see you and Azzi willingly playing together again,” Ice says as soon as Paige’s makeup artist leaves the room, “KK and I didn’t even try betting on it, we were that sure it wouldn’t happen. Shit I should have. I totally would have won.”

“Don’t y’all get tired of betting on my life?” Paige asks, rolling her eyes, trying to ignore the first part of what Ice said. 

“Betting on your life has made me hundreds of dollars bro,” Ice says, before a more earnest  look crosses her face, “but genuinely P, are you sure about this? There’s a lot of history there.”

Paige sighs, “it’s not about our history. It’s a basketball decision. And we’re both mature adults who know that. I’m just tryna win. Nothing else.”

“It’s never nothing when it comes to you two.”

“It is this time,” Paige argues adamantly and Ice raises her hands in surrender. 

“I just don’t want another set of teammates to have to deal with y’alls bullshit,” the younger girl teases, but it’s laced with a hint of seriousness that sends a flare of guilt shooting through Paige’s body. 

“Ice-” she begins.

But Ice is quick to change to a lighter subject, “can’t believe Jana’s the one that gets mom and dad back together. I always knew she was the favorite.”

“We didn’t have favorites,” Paige plays along, thankful for Ice and her ability to always keep the tension to a bare minimum. 

“Oh don’t lie. We all know you did,” Ice scoffs and then lets out a chuckle, “and now Azzi’s actually a mom. That’s kinda insane. And you met the kid right?”

“Yeah. Yeah I did,” Paige says and she can’t help the way her entire face breaks into a gleaming smile as her thoughts turn into memories of Stephie. She doesn’t even realize she’s gotten lost in a different world until Ice coughs, an amused grin playing on her lips. 

“You’re so royally fucked Paige,” Ice shakes her head, “the only person I’ve seen you smile that big for before is Azzi.”

“She’s a cute, smart, adorable kid, that’s why I’m smiling,” Paige tries to defend herself. 

“She’s Azzi’s cute, smart, adorable kid,” Ice counters. 

“That has nothing to do with it,” Paige protests again but it rings hollow to her own ears.

“Oh my god I needa call KK and get this bet started. It’s only a matter of time for real,” Ice says, more to herself than to Paige, as she whips out her phone, probably texting KK. 

“A matter of time till what?”

“You’ll find out Paigey,” Ice says gravely with a mocking smile, patting Paige’s head, “all in due time.”

***

The Dallas Wings media room is buzzing, reporters desperate to ask Paige questions and the blonde tries to maintain a smile despite the fact that her heart is lurching in her throat right now. Her opening speech had been short and sweet, parroting basically the same thing that had gone out on her social media the night before; she’d been desperate to just get it out. Generally, Paige is pretty good with the media, having been immersed in the spotlight since basically forever. The attention and how to maneuver it has always come naturally to her so she’s not sure why she feels so unnerved by it all today.  From the back of the media room, Ice sends her a thumbs up and a reassuring grin and Paige lets out a breath, glad to have at least that comforting presence with her. 

“Aidrian Ginsburger with Bleacher Report, Paige, you’ve obviously spent all of your career so far with the Wings, can you tell us a little bit about the impact this organization has had on you?”

Paige smiles at the question, letting her brain skim through pages and pages of fond memories she has of time spent with this team. It might be time to move on but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have plenty of cherished moments. 

“Yeah um- this place has really shaped who I am as a person. Since day one, the front office, obviously it’s a different one to the one I came in with, they did a lot to make sure that I was comfortable. My teammates through the years have been incredible and I wouldn’t be the player I am today without them. And of course the fans you know, they always showed out for the team, for me. Always supported me in anyways and I hope that I was able to give back the love to them that they always gave to me,” she says, suddenly nostalgic for the team that had started it all. 

The next questions are similar in nature and Paige’s answer varies only in words but not substance. She feels herself start to settle into it, now fielding the expected questions about the Wings and Valkyries with an air of confidence. There are a couple questions about Azzi that make her heart thump, but that was to be expected. It’s a pretty brilliant story in the making, two MVPs who used to play on the same college team coming together. Talia had warned Paige in advance that there was no avoiding it. But for the most part the questions have an easy answer about how Azzi’s a brilliant player and she’s excited to play with her old friend again. That is until a familiar hand shoots up and all the tension that had previously dissipated, comes roaring back with a vengeance. 

“Olivia Reynolds with the Dallas Morning News, Paige, as others have said today, you and Azzi Fudd played together at UConn and you were best friends.” Olivia’s eyes glint viciously, “I mean it’s pretty well documented how hard you tried to recruit her to UConn. But despite being best friends, the two of you have been never seen hanging out, outside of games and formal events, unlike your other teammates that is-”

“Is there a point to this?” Paige asks, hands fisting in her lap as she tries to keep herself calm. 

Olivia smiles, sugary sweet, “I was just wondering if maybe there was some tension and how that would affect your on-court chemistry at the Valkyries?”

“There’s no tension,” Paige lies through gritted teeth, “we didn’t hang out because we live far apart. There isn’t much else to it. And even if there was, Azzi and I are professionals. We wouldn’t let anything off the court affect our goal to win.”

“You lived far apart before UConn too, but that didn’t seem to stop you guys. What changed?” Olivia presses.

“Time did. Our lives did. There’s nothing sensational here. It’s just a case of two people drifting apart,” Paige says and the fabrication feels heavy on her tongue. If only it really had been that simple. 

“But clearly not that much,” Olivia says, and Paige glances at the moderator, desperate for an intervention, “there were plenty of fan pictures of the two of you out getting ice cream with Azzi’s daughter. It seems like you’re already fitting into that Bay Area life-”

“I’m not hearing a question at the end of your sentence,” Paige hisses and she can practically already hear the scolding she’s going to get from Talia once her agent gets wind of how this press conference had gone. The entire media cohort is watching the exchange with wide eyes, no doubt questioning whether they were embarrassed or impressed by their colleague. Ice is mouthing something to Paige, probably something along the lines of please keep your shit together, but Paige is steaming. Really, she should have expected this. 

“Well if you’d let me finish,” Olivia snarls, the façade of innocence dropping, “even if the two of you have drifted, as you put it, clearly there’s still a relationship there. How big of a role did Azzi Fudd play in your choice to move to the Valkyries?”

Paige sucks in a deep breath, nails digging into her palm at the question, “Azzi is the best shooting guard in the country. That was her role in my decision to move to the Valkyries. I don’t know what else you’re trying to imply, but I want to play with her because we play well together. That’s it,” she stands up and there’s pin drop silence, “thank you all for coming but we’re done with this press conference. 

***

Paige is seething as she exits the media room, Ice hot on her heels trying to calm her down. The sane part of her knows she should head back to the makeup room or even to her car, instead she finds her feet carrying her in the direction of where she knows Olivia Reynolds will be, reviewing her press conference notes by the coffee machine like she always is. 

“What the actual fuck was that?” Paige spits as she comes to a halt in front of the reporter. 

“I know you think playing basketball is the only job in the world Paige, but that was a reporter doing her job,” Olivia says, her calm and composed voice only furthering Paige’s irritation. 

“Bull-fucking-shit.” Paige sneers, “that wasn’t a reporter out there, that was my ex-wife grilling me like we were back in fucking divorce court.”

Olivia cocks her head, “oh so you do remember who I am to you then?”

“Oliv-”

“Because if you did remember, I’d like to think you’d have the courtesy to at least personally tell me that you were moving to your,” she drops her voice, “ex-girlfriend’s team instead of letting me find out with the rest of the world. You don’t think you owed me that?”

“That’s what this is about?” Paige sighs, “Olivia we’ve been divorced for almost three years now, I don’t owe you-”

“You didn’t owe Azzi anything either,” Olivia whisper-yells, the calm in her voice replaced by the same anger that had tainted the last year of their marriage, “but when we first started dating, you kept us a secret for months. You wouldn’t even tell your fucking teammates cause you were so scared she’d find out,” her eyes drift towards Ice who looks like she wishes she’d made a different decision rather than following Paige out here, “you said she deserved to hear it from you but apparently I don’t-’

“I didn’t mean it like that Olivia. Look, I meant what I said up there. There’s nothing between- ”

“Spare me,” Olivia says, as she stuffs her notepad into her bag, “you can lie to all those other reporters out there about how all of this is a basketball decision. You can even lie to yourself if you want. But you can’t lie to me, not when I spent four years fighting to keep our relationship from getting crushed under whatever it is that Azzi is to you.”

***

It doesn’t matter how far Paige burrows her head into her pillows, she can’t seem to stop herself from hearing Olivia’s words reverberating through her ears. The two of them had done well at co-existing in their social circles after the divorce had been finalized. While no one could quite call them friends, they’d done a good job at being friendly, being able to converse and share an occasional drink when in their combined friend group. And if Paige is honest, she knows she’s fucked up, knows she probably did owe Olivia a call. But calling Olivia would have meant calling someone who would inevitably make Paige face the truth, just like she had today. The truth that, even with the deal Talia had concocted with the Liberty hanging in the background like a dark presence, the move to the Valkyries was about a lot more than just basketball for Paige. 

She’s so entrenched in her thought that she doesn’t bother checking who it is when the facetime rings, irritation seeping into her voice as she answers it, face still buried in her pillows, “WHAT?”

“Miss Buecks?” a tiny voice comes through the phone and for a second, Paige thinks she must be dreaming, until she finally lifts her head to look at her phone, and Stephie’s small face lights up the whole screen. And it’s like she can feel little hands on her shoulders, slowly unknotting her tightened muscles. 

“Stephie,” she breathes out, a sudden sense of serene calm washing over her previously tense body. 

“Hi Miss Buecks,” Stephie says happily before she squints at the screen, “you sleep weird.”

Paige laughs, “and why’s that?”

“You’re not wearing pajamas and it’s only seven. ‘Dults don’t sleep at seven,” Stephie says matter-of-factly. 

“It’s actually nine here,” Paige says, a little surprised by the time; she hadn’t realized she'd been moping in her bed for that long. Ice had forced her to get lunch together, not wanting to leave Paige alone after the encounter with Olivia. Once she’d finally gotten back to her apartment, Paige had flopped on her bed, taking out her frustrations on her poor pillow. 

“That’s not poss-ble,” Stephie scrunches her face, “Mama’s phone says it’s seven.”

“It’s seven in California, it’s nine in Texas,” Paige tries to explain though by the way Stephie’s looking at her, she thinks she’s probably just confusing the girl more, “how’d you figure out how to call me babe?”

Stephie gives her an exasperated look, “Miss Buecks I’m five. I know how to use facetime.”

“And does your Mama know you're facetiming me?” Paige asks, eyebrows raised.

“She’s in the shower,” Stephie whispers, grinning sheepishly. 

As if on cue, Azzi appears on the corner of the screen and Paige feels her mouth run dry. The darker skinned woman is clad in a light pink fluffy bathrobe that ends right above her knees, giving Paige the perfect view of her long, toned legs that seem to shimmer despite the shitty quality of the facetime. Rivulets of water cling to her neck, delicately cascading down the valley of her breasts before disappearing from sight. And Paige must be dehydrated because never has she wanted to taste a drop of liquid more than she does right now. 

“Stephie,” Azzi groans, as she walks towards the phone and Paige gulps, heart beating faster with every step the other woman takes, everything about her becoming clearer and clearer, “what did I say about using my phone.”

“Only in em-a-gencies,” Stephie recites, “but Mama I had an em-a-gency.”

Azzi tilts her head, eyebrows raised as she gives her daughter a knowing look, “and what was your emergency?”

“I really, really, really, this much” Stephie stretches out her hands as far as they’ll go,  really, really, really, miss Miss Buecks.”

Paige feels her heart flutter. Stephie’s words feel like a hand carefully pulling her out from under the pile of stress she’d been buried under the whole day. It’s like the little girl is pushing away the rubble pressing against her lungs, turning the rocks into dust with a light touch and Paige feels like she can finally breathe. 

“Sounds like a pretty big emergency to me,” she says, relishing the way Stephie’s face lights up at the admission, “cause I really, really, really miss you too Steph.”

“See Mama,” Stephie says, placing the phone against a wall so can place her hands on her hips and look up at Azzi with a pleased smirk. 

Azzi rolls her eyes before glaring at Paige, “you’re a bad influence on her.”

“I’m the best influence on her,” Paige argues, sending Stephie a conspiratorial wink, “just you wait Az, I’mma teach her all the good things.”

Something unreadable flashes across Azzi’s face before she’s back to looking at Paige with an unimpressed arched eyebrow, “I am not letting you corrupt my daughter Paige Bueckers.”

“We’ll see,” Paige says slowly and Azzi shakes her head before turning to Stephie. 

“Alright Stephie bean time to go brush your teeth. It’s almost bedtime babes,” she says with a stern look 

“But Mama-”

“No arguing, you have school tomorrow missy,” Azzi reminds the little girl and Paige can’t help but marvel at the mother that Azzi’s become. And it makes her heart ache for the fantasies she’d dreamed of when she was in her early twenties. She’d always known Azzi would be a great mother; Paige had just naively thought she’d be there alongside her too. 

“Can Miss Buecks stay on the phone till I fall asleep?” Stephie asks, peering up at Azzi with big doe eyes, “please Mama pleeeease.”

“I’m sure Miss Buecks has other things-”

“I don’t,” Paige cuts in far too enthusiastically, clearing her throat to get back some semblance of restraint as both mother and daughter turn to look at each other, “I don’t have anything to do tonight so I can stay till you fall asleep Stephie.”

“YAYY,” Stephie cheers enthusiastically while Azzi studies her with a weary look, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and then you can read me, my story Mama.”

With that, the little girl runs in the direction of what Paige can only assume is the bathroom, skipping with childlike joy as she sing-songs about something Paige can’t quite make out. 

“You know you don’t have to say yes to everything she asks right?” Azzi says slowly as she grabs her phone and sits on the couch. 

Paige shrugs, “I have time to stay.”

“Do you?” Azzi asks skeptically, “because from what I heard the Wings are having a little farewell party tonight, for you.”

Paige narrows her eyes, “and how exactly did you hear that?”

“I have connections.”

“You talked to Ice.”

“I talked to Ice,” Azzi concedes, “and I’m pretty sure you’re already an hour or so late for it.”

“Exactly. I’m already an hour late so why bother,” Paige says, sitting up so she can rest head against her headboard, “why were you talking to Ice?”

“I can’t talk to my friend?” Azzi asks slowly. 

“Of course you can but why specifically today?” Paige presses 

Azzi bites her lip, “I um- I watched your press conference today. You uh-” she averts her gaze, “you seemed really stressed at the end and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

A soft grin upturns Paige’s lips before she can stop it, “were you worried for me Fudd?”

“That’s not-” Azzi groans, “shut up.”

Paige smirks, “you were worried for me.”

“I was concerned for my future teammate," Azzi huffs, “besides,” her face hardens, “she was way out of line.”

Paige sighs at the implied mention of Olivia, “maybe but maybe I deserved it.”

“No you didn’t,” Azzi protests and that oh so familiar protective tone in her voice carves itself into every crevice of Paige’s heart, “no one deserves to be put on the spot like that. She was being unethical trying to dig into your personal life like that.”

“This is nice,” Paige says softly, unable to help herself. 

“What is?” 

“Seeing you get all defensive over me. It's nice to see you still care. I didn’t know if you still did.”

Azzi’s quiet for a second, gnawing at her bottom lip as she looks at Paige, “I’ve always cared Paige. And-” she hesitates as the tightrope beneath them wavers, “I’m always gonna care.”

There’s years worth of unsaid words lingering in the silence between them as they breach some unspoken rule they’d both inadvertently agreed to. And they both know that they shouldn’t be saying things like this to each other, that they’re teetering on the edge of falling into an abyss that has nothing but destruction at the bottom. But Azzi’s words feel like sunshine, like heat waves across her skin and Paige is so tired of feeling cold. 

Before either of them can say another word, Stephie comes back into the room, crawling into Azzi’s lap.

“I’m back,” she beams, completely unaware of the way the two adults are scrambling to act normal around her. 

“Here baby,” Azzi hands the phone to Stephie, “take Miss Buecks to your room. Mama’s gonna go change and then she’ll come read to you okay?”

“‘Kay Mama,” Stephie complies, pressing a soft kiss to Azzi’s cheek before running towards her room. For a second Paige’s screen is blurred in motion until Stephie fixes her again and Paige catches a glimpse of Stephie’s room, specifically the walls that are painted the perfect shade of Valkyrie purple. 

“I love your walls Stephie,” she compliments.

“They’re pu-ple,” Stephie exclaims, “that’s my favorite color.”

“First the ice-cream, now the color, you’re stealing all of my favorites kid,” Paige teases but she’s secretly pleased by this revelation. It’s dangerous how fast Stephie’s starting to whittle down Paige’s walls and build herself a permanent shelf in Paige’s cabinet of my people. 

“Can I tell you a secret Miss Buecks,” Stephie whispers, bringing her lips closer to the phone. 

Paige smiles, “of course you can.”

“I think Mama misses you too,” Stephie says softly and Paige feels her heart catch in her throat, “I heard her tell Nanna on the phone.”

“Can I tell you a secret Stephie?” Paige lowers her voice, leaning into her phone. 

“‘Course you can Miss Buecks.”

Paige swallows as the admission falls from her lips, “I really miss your Mama too.”

I miss her always and I think I’ll miss her forever. 

“What are you the two of you whispering about,” Azzi’s voice cuts in as she tucks herself next to Stephie, a children’s book in her hand. 

“Nothing Mama,” Stephie says immediately, winking at Paige through the phone. 

“Yeah,” Paige echoes, ignoring her erratic heartbeat, “nothing Azzi.”

Azzi looks between the both of them, clearly aware she’s being left out of something, but doesn’t push further. Instead she flips open the book, pulls Stephie closer into her arms and starts reading. If anyone were to ask Paige later, she wouldn’t have the faintest idea about a single word in that damn book. Because as Azzi’s soothing voice begins to lull Stephie to sleep, and the younger girl, despite her yawns, holds the phone up so the blonde can be included in every second of it, Paige feels herself being pulled into a dream she has no right to dream. She dreams of being in Stephie’s purple bedroom. She dreams of her and Azzi lying against Stephie’s lilac bedspread, their hands entwined in the middle over Stephie’s little body. She dreams of a forever that she’d long forsaken.

[zer0wzs]

𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨

[ gn!reader ] "practice it, even once a week," it even works with sleep—especially you have something motivating you. based off of this classic reddit post. wc: 1521

AN: not at all proofread my apologies lol

There have been a couple of changes in your life since the first month that Jason moved in with you.

For one, the little trinkets that were scattered everywhere seemed to be a little more neater, a little more lined up. You’ll find that your small figures were playing out a scene. You don’t know why they’re like that, but Jason seems to know. 

Your apartment’s been plenty more storage-efficient. This was largely to help Jason store his expansive collection of books, but it helped you, too. The drawers, shelves, and cabinets the two of you have thrifted and renovated together make it seem more to both of your liking—rather than it just being yours.

Above these small things, though, you two seem to always never have enough time with each other, even after the move.

Needless to say, time isn’t always in your favor when you’re vigilant or with the Red Hood. Date nights are suddenly postponed or canceled, patrols keep him until the early hours of the morning, and—at worst—missions have you two apart from one another for weeks, maybe even months.

This makes you two take pleasure in the small things. Whatever little thing you two can keep to yourselves, whatever fragment of time is offered to you two, you will selfishly hold onto. It's the only thing you can ever hold onto.

That’s why you always hold onto Saturdays. You can wake up as late as you want and still know that he’s probably there. You’d find him cleaning his guns, cozied on the couch reading a book, watching a cheesy romcom, or cooking you breakfast. That’s how it's always been when you spent time at each other’s apartments, and the same thing has happened until now.

That’s your first thought as you wake—or, well first few thoughts. Checking the time on your phone, you see it’s 11 AM. Earlier than your usual time of waking, but you should still probably get up.

There isn’t much noise ringing through your ears, save for a few footsteps you heard through the ajar room of your bedroom. Still a little drowsy, you made your way to the bathroom to tidy yourself up.

After rinsing your face with soap and getting the grime out of the crevices of your skin, you grabbed your toothbrush and pumped your toothpaste on it. As you brushed your teeth, though, your mind better register a faint humming—no, singing—from down the hallway.

Well, it can’t be anyone else, no?

After freshening yourself up, you go to your living room only to be greeted by tranced Jason—fixated on his slightly worn copy of All The Lovers in the Night. There’s some old dad rock music playing softly by him. You stand there, leaning against the edge of the hallway, before your presence is acknowledged.

“Good morning,” he greeted, using a random receipt he had to bookmark his page before the book aside. “You’re up early.”

“I know.” You hummed, finding a place beside him on the couch and giving him a good morning kiss on the cheek.

You find him smiling at the action, ruffling your hair and pulling you closer by the waist. “Are you up for any particular reason? Miss me?”

“Mmh, sure.” You grab his coffee perched on the table and take a sip. “Ew.”

He laughs. “What do you mean ‘ew’? Baby, that’s always how I’ve made my coffee.”

“I know, I know,” you rolled your eyes. “I thought that was gonna be the new three-in-one packet we got.”

“I don’t like three-in-one,” he hums. “Or at least I’m not in the mood for it.”

“Guess I’ll have to brew a cup for myself. I really wanna try it out.”

“Can I have a sip?” He asked, leaning into your shoulder.

“No.” You half-jokingly replied, snaking your hand up his hair to ruffle it.

“Come on.”

“Let’s see.”

And so that’s how Saturdays would go for you two. Jason would usually start his day at 7, 6, and sometimes even 5 AM, depending on how hectic his workload was. He’d freshen up, brew some coffee, and then usually get to his work.

If he did work, he always took a short breather between 10 to 11, usually spending the time to read. If he didn’t, he’d spend the morning cleaning the apartment or making breakfast.

You find yourself stirring awake. What time is it? It feels too early to be up right now.

You check the time on your phone. 10:42. Never mind.

You stretched out, basking in the sun that escapes through the fabric and small gaps of the translucent curtains. You blink a few times before deciding it's time to get up and freshen up. Grabbing a change of clothes, you head to your bathroom.

As you continued your morning routine, you could hear music ringing softly throughout the apartment. Along with that, you hear Jason singing along to it. With that, you open the door a little wider while you brush your teeth.

Before you can even process that your feet are carrying you outside the bathroom, Jason’s already greeting your presence in the dining area. “Good morning,” You wave in return. “You want anything for breakfast?”

You shake your head in reply and find your place beside him by the table, reading a book. You lean your head on his shoulder, trying to follow whatever he’s reading. The fast reader he is, he flips the page before you can even get a full sentence in.

In the corner of his eye, he can still see how drowsy you were. He checks in. “Are you okay?”

“Mhm,” you hummed. “Still a little sleepy.”

“You know, you can still go to bed if you want. I’m not sure why you’re up earlier than usual.” He pouted, craning his head to look at you. “You’re not pushing yourself for whatever reason, right?”

“No, I just…woke up,” you reply dryly. “Like I woke up and thought, ‘might as well,’ you know?”

“Okay, okay,” he smiled, placing a kiss on your forehead. “You want a coffee?”

“Mmm, sure.”

“Alright,” he nods, kissing your forehead before getting up to heat up some water. “The three-in-one?”

“Yes, please.”

Maybe it's your way of saying that you miss him. Between the night patrols and days-to-months-long missions that he goes on, you find yourself waking up a little earlier. 11 AM turns into 10 AM turns into even 9 and 8 AM on the weekends.

It’s 7:51 AM. Last night may have been hectic, but you got some sleep in. A few weeks ago, you would’ve slept in and woke up at 1 PM, but god doesn’t grant you enough time to hit your napping time and spending-time-with-Jason quotas. You have to sacrifice one, and your body knows which one you’re choosing.

“Morning, babe,” Jason greets from the kitchen, cooking up a breakfast for the two of you.

He doesn’t tease you any more about waking up so early. In fact, he doesn’t even push you to go back to bed anymore. He knows it only really makes you feel bad for getting some sleep. He’s more than picked up these changes in the morning and accommodates you to his schedule with ease. 

You feel more than love. You feel his affection wholeheartedly. It’s almost overwhelming, but you figure you’re never getting enough of it anyway.

“Hello…” You mumble from behind him, sliding your hands up his chest. You smell the spicy scent of seasoning from his cooking. ”Missed you.”

“Missed you too.” He smiles, pulling you to his side. 

You stand in silence for a bit, too sleepy to continue the conversation sensibly and letting only the sound of the searing pan fill the room.

Yet you start. “Are you doing anything or going anywhere today?”

“No, not really,” he answers. “Why? You wanna do something?”

“No, not really,” you copy his tone, not really implying any sort of mocking. “I just wanna spend time with you.”

He laughs a little. “Clingy.”

“Thanks,” you roll your eyes. “Do you need help with anything?”

“Hmm,” he pauses for a split second to think. “Set the table for me, won’t ya? I’m almost done.”

“Alright.”

Warmth is the first thing you feel. A great, weighted warmth encasing you in your sleep. It wasn’t too early, as you felt the bright rays of the sun shine down and pierce through your closed eyes. Clearly, Jason should be more than awake by now.

Eyes closed, you whisper to the big bear of a man holding on to you for dear life. “Mmh, what time is it?”

Nothing from him in return. You lay a few kisses on his arm, hoping to wake him up, even a little.

“Love?” You hummed, reaching out for your phone to check the time. Your phone’s brightness blinds you, but as long as you can sleep in peace after this, you’re fine. “It’s 7:32. Shouldn’t you be up by now?”

You hear him mumble a few things, mostly incoherent, but you can at least make out his little, “Mmh, five more minutes.”

[bluecanvasshoe]

platonic!Arthur Morgan & teen!fem!reader

reader being female is only mentioned, like, once at the very start, rest of the story has virtually nothing to do w it

based around the end of the game!!

Arthur notices you’re upset after some sulking around, so he takes you fishing.

warnings: slight rdr2 spoilers, a little smidgen of misogyny, maybe ooc? idk, no beta reader we die like MEN 🔥, little bit of angst, comfort, NO ROMANCE‼️‼️‼️, …….lazy ending, I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK OKAY

word count: 1.5k

——————

For the past couple months, it’s felt as if nothing you have done has ever gone right.

When carrying hay-bales to the horses, your arms grew tired. Micah laughed as you dropped the feed and breathed heavily. A few months back, Hosea reminded you that, as a child, you weren’t expected to do any of the more challenging work. However, the urge to prove yourself triumphed over his lectures.

Then Ms. Grimshaw approached you in camp, reprimanding you for your insistence on doing the more “manly” tasks. As a girl of the camp who was yet to be an adult, you, unfortunately, were not saved from her pressing you about your future in the gang.

Afterwards, while practising your handiwork with a needle, you pierced your index finger. It drew blood, so Strauss gave you a bandage and a disapproving look.

The gang slowly dwindled in numbers, leaving your already fragile state of mind in a bit of a crisis. Small things piled on small things that piled on big things, and you soon found yourself dreading chores, which turned into dreading every day that followed. The feeling of thinking you were actively disappointing every living being ever drowned out any sense of reasoning.

On a clear morning, you woke up groggy. All seemed well until you were punched in the face with the realisation that you had to actually get up.

Instead of wasting the early morning away, wallowing in the sadness of your flimsy canvas tent, you sat at the dying campfire. Your heart felt heavy in your chest, and your mouth subconsciously pulled down into a frown.

Arthur, ever the early bird, awoke not long after you and sat down on the next log over. His worn and muddied boots crunched on the gravelly terrain, interrupting the chirping of birds. The sun hadn’t yet risen, shrouding everything in a dusky glow.

“You uh… sleep well, kid?” said Arthur, holding onto a steaming cup of coffee.

“Yeah,” you replied simply, staring at the fire. Strauss told you not to drink coffee; he said it was “bad for a child’s development.”.

Arthur sighed, turning his head over as he propped his upper body up, an arm supporting himself by pressing on his knee. “You’ve been acting’ strange,” he commented, “we’ve all noticed. Is somethin’ botherin’ you?”

Your voice caught up in your throat, the words that formed in your head fighting to escape and pathetically losing. “No…just tired.”

The man next to you coughed lightly, clearing his throat. “You…uh, you wanna go fishin’? I oughta' bring some food back to Pearson.”

Fishing? Now there’s something you haven't done in a while. Maybe you could get out of the camp.

“Okay,” you fidgeted with the fabric of your sleep bottoms, your eyes darting from Arthur and back to the fire. It seemed Arthur hadn’t expected you to agree, as he hesitated to find a response.

“Alright, then. Be ready in...about half an hour.”

As promised, you were dressed a quarter after six; at least that’s what your pocket watch you pickpocketed forever ago said. Hopping up onto the pony you used on rare outings, you waited for Arthur to saddle up too.

“You got all your stuff?” He asked, storing away his fishing rod and hoisting himself up, grabbing hold of his horse’s reins.

You look at your saddle bag one last time before turning to Arthur, nodding. “Yeah. ‘Been a while since I've gone fishin’, though.”

“Don’t worry about that; I'll give you a refresher.” Arthur shifted his weight before clicking twice, lightly jabbing his spurs into the side of his mount.

Following his movements, — except spur-less, as you don’t do nearly as much riding as the other men in the gang — you began to move, your horse huffing gently.

You caught up to him thanks to his slow trot, swatting away a couple mosquitoes in the process. “Where’re we goin’?” you asked, your voice raised.

“Well, you ain’t too familiar with his area,” he quickly wiped his nose with his free hand, sniffling. “But it ain’t far. There’s a nice little spot on a lake nearby. You oughta' get a couple bites.”

“Uh-huh,” you sighed, looking down at your hands. Arthur was holding onto his horse’s reins with one hand. You had trouble steering your horse with two.

Arthur slowed once he approached a patch of gravelly sand, getting off his horse with you following. He took out his fishing equipment and walked over to the shore.

“Here,” Arthur reached into his brown satchel, pulling out a block of cheese wrapped in brown parchment paper. “Use some a’ this.” Reaching over, you broke off a small chunk and murmured a hushed ‘thank you’ in return.

“‘M guessin’ you remember what bait is and how to use it, right?” he remarked, preparing his rod. “I think I got it,” you muttered, fumbling with the fishing pole but eventually hooking the cheese onto the sharp point.

“Careful there. Don’t wanna poke your finger.” Arthur joked snarkily, waiting for you to get into a similar position to his, his fishing rod held in front of his body. The bandaged finger he was referring to was sliding the small bit of bait onto the hook clumsily. “Shut up,” you grunted, getting a good grip on the pole and holding it out in front of yourself. The water moved lazily, quietly washing up and down on the sand. The calm surface showed the fish that swam underneath. Minnows dashed around quickly, the small groups of fish moving together.

Crickets still chirped in the distance as birds were beginning to sing, too. The air smelled fresh and felt dewy, a light breeze turning trees into calming windchimes.

“You wanna hold it like this,” he said, tapping his index finger against the line. You attempted the same hold that he had, but with the limited information given, you didn’t immediately get the hang of it.

“No, like- like this, with your index on the line. Should be pressin’ against the rod.” Arthur peered over your shoulder as you adjusted your fingers, pressing the thin string against the wood of the rod. Arthur nodded. “Yeah, that’s good. Now pull back the bail.”

Now, you hadn’t a clue what the bail was, but that hardly mattered. Matching Arthur’s movements, you pulled a semi-circle piece of metal back and over the line spool.

“Alright, now be careful here; don’t wanna take out an eye. Draw back your rod over your shoulder, but not too far. The farther you draw, the longer the cast,” he advised, drawing the pole over his shoulder. You mimicked him.

“Now, you throw it over your shoulder and straight forward,” he instructed, watching your movements. The bait landed about 3 metres away from the shoreline, splashing pathetically before bobbing up and down.

“Just like that. Now, you pull back the bail and wait.”

Silence filled the space between you two—a suffocating, invisible force.

Deer galloped across the lake and within the thick brush. One stopped, a buck, and stared at the two fishermen across from it. His ears twitched before he joined the others.

Loons sang, their eerily beautiful calls travelling across the calm waters. Frogs croaked in the distance, and clouds languidly drifted overhead.

“Look, I… I haven’t a clue what you’re feelin’. But just know that you ain’t alone. We’ve all been stressed. I can’t imagine what you must be feelin’.” said Arthur, turning briefly to face you.

The sun peeked over the distant treeline, slowly casting a calming light over everything in the vicinity.

“I feel like I can’t never do anythin’ right.” You croaked, voice catching in your throat and a painful ache creeping up to your jaw.

“Aw, kid… whad’ya mean?" Arthur had never been great at comfort. He could do it, of course, though he certainly had his favourites when it came to his affections.

You stared off into the lake, your reflection looking right back. “Everythin’ I do feels like a failure. There ain’t a single thing I’ve been able to do right recently.”

Arthur sighed, reeling his line back in and casting it again.

“That ain’t true. You’re a kid. You’re learning. You ain’t… supposed to be great at everythin’, and nothin’ you do is supposed to be right; it’s just supposed to teach you somethin’. This’ll go away; trust me.” He chose his words carefully, coughing to the side before continuing. “Now I know this probably ain’t what you wanted to hear. Feelin’ sad feels... nice sometimes. But it’s true. Basically everyone in this gang is an adult, ‘cept for Jack, so don’t go comparin’ yourself to anyone, ya hear? We’re all goin’ through hard times; none of this is your fault, and you ain’t a failure for anythin’.”

The sun steadily rose, framed perfectly by the view in front of you. Your horses huffed occasionally as geese flew above, honking distantly.

He was right; you didn’t want to hear this. You don’t know what you want to hear. Maybe something about how awful you are, or maybe something about how great and amazing you are. You felt conflicted, confused, and even a smidge defensive.

“But I-” “but nothin’, kid. Do with that what you will, but just... think about it. Maybe see things from a different perspective.” He rasped, clearing his throat. “Or don’t; it’s your choice. But just give it some thought.”

Silence settled between you two again, leaving your conflicting feelings to dissipate.

You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, watching as your bait bobbed on the water’s surface. The chill of the north was soothed by the warmth of the sun, and everything, in that moment, felt okay.

[beamtori]

𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲

demon (in human form)!ji changmin x afab!reader

it's a silly thing that brings you both to intimacy, but the intimacy is never silly.

3.0k words, smut (minors dni), incredibly soft sex, talks abt sex/dicks lol (if u can't talk abt it, then don't do it!), unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it bro), penetrative sex, fingering, low-key body worship (f.receiving), so much kissing, pet name (sweetheart), mentions of a broken wrist and scars?

a/n: this is an extension to my fic night terrors on my main! there are a couple refs from the fic, but the established dynamic is a huge turnaround for me in terms of writing for changmin if u haven't read night terrors yet LMAO anyways, for me and @mosviqu ily bar!! <3

CHANGMIN HAD GROWN USED TO your random questions of curiosity. There was, after all, so much you didn't know about his world, and for the most part, he was perfectly fine divulging information to you and being honest. He cared about you, after all. Loved you, even. It was just what he felt around and about and for you.

“How do demons have sex?”

He nearly snorted water through his nose.

You glanced over at him innocently from where you were perched on the hotel bed, your phone connected to its charger discarded on the nightstand.

He cleared his throat, capping the water bottle and setting it aside so he wouldn't choke again. “Sorry?” He sputtered, thumping his fist against his chest.

Your eyelashes fluttered and you replied airily, “Do you have sex the way humans do? Like… vaginal penetration or…? Am I making sense? Do you even have a—”

“Yn, I have a dick,” he cut in, then made a face. “Why are we having this conversation again?”

The two of you were holed up in a hotel several hours’ ride from Moonstone Creek. You were currently on your way to meet one of Changmin's clients about a missing lucky witch's cauldron. Instead of shacking up at a motel, you insisted on staying at a nicer hotel for once. Screw saving money this time; your ass deserved a break after sitting in his car for however long. Maybe you should invest in a butt pad…

You shrugged, shifting your position so you sat at the foot of the bed with your feet dangling over the edge. You held your dominant wrist with the other hand—a month had passed since it had been shattered, and though almost completely healed, it was still a little tender. “I was just thinking,” you said. “Is it like a human d—”

“It's a penis, Yn,” he deadpanned. “You've seen one, right?”

Your skin warmed. “Of course, I have,” you sputtered. “I was just curious about your—” You stopped yourself. “That sounds wrong.”

Changmin arched a brow at you, braiding his arms over his chest as he leaned against the table across from you. “Supernatural creatures do have needs, too, you know. Sex isn't just a human thing.”

“I know that,” you shot back. Sex definitely wasn't exclusive to humans. “When was the last time you had sex?"

“I don't understand where this is coming from.”

“Are you a virgin?”

A laugh bubbled out of his mouth. “I think it's impossible for a demon to be a virgin in any sense,” he said, head tilted to the side, tongue tracing his slight smile. It was funny for him to think about, really.

His eyes fixated on you again. “Are you a virgin?”

“Me? No.” Even when you were working your ass off for your accounting degree, you managed to find time to socialize with somebody. It hadn't been that special, really, but the guy had been decent and not an asshole. By your limited scope, that was as okay a time as any.

The room descended into silence.

You could tell he was thinking about something with the crease between his brows and the muscle in his jaw twitching. You didn't know what it was, but you could read that much.

“So why haven't we had sex yet?” was the question that popped out of your mouth next. It wasn't necessarily directed for him to answer; it was more so a… thinking-aloud situation… right…

But by the surprise that flickered across his face, he was going to answer it anyway. “I—I don't know. I guess…” He scratched the side of his head. “I never really thought about it.”

“Oh.”

You could see the regret as soon as he said it.

He brushed a hand through his hair, stepping over to you and kneeling in front of you. His eyes fluttered closed for a second before opening again. “I didn't mean it—like that. I just mean that so much has happened that it's the last thing on my mind. I didn't want it to come off like I only wanted that from you.”

“I know you don't,” you said, leaning onto your knees to lower your face slightly toward his. “But we both have needs, don't we?”

“Are you saying you're in the mood?” He asked.

“I mean—I was looking out for both of us.” You sat up again, leaning back onto your hands, putting more emphasis on your nondominant one. He followed you up and stood between your legs, knee pressing down onto the mattress to lean over you and collect you in his arms.

You both tumbled onto the sheets, your face pressed to his chest and his chin tucked over your head, legs tangled together. “I don't know,” you muttered, “it's been a good month, and I guess I was just…” Insecure. “I’m being ridiculous though,” you laughed the thought away, “every couple goes at their own pace.”

His fingers grasped your chin and pulled your eyes to meet his. The eye contact was strangely intimate with him as it always was. “Yn,” he said lowly, “you’re not being ridiculous.”

He rolled his body over yours, arms bracketed around your head with your noses a breath apart. “Can I kiss you?” He asked in earnest, searching your face.

You nodded, eyes wide. “Yes.”

His hand curled around the back of your head as he lowered his mouth over yours. Your nose slotted beside his, and you raised your upper body to hold onto him and press yourself all the more close. You sighed, his tongue pressing into your mouth to deepen the kiss.

There had been a few other times you'd kissed before. There was no rush with this one. He took his sweet time with you, kissing you languidly, devouring you whole. His limbs wrapped around you like a python so you were unable to leave his grasp—as if you wanted to.

When you broke apart, you were flushed and his breathing was heavy. He brushed the hair from your face, your eyes glazed as you stared up at him. “I've never been intimate with someone I care so much about,” he confessed, his voice gravelly from the kiss. Your lips parted for his thumb as he dragged it over your bottom lip.

“Me neither,” you told him. You reached up to run your hand through his hair. “Is it scary?”

“The way I feel about you?” He wrestled down a swallow. “I'm terrified.” Terrified to break you, to lose you, to hurt you. Everything in between.

It wasn't always that you were given the privilege of seeing him so open and vulnerable. He had slowly become better around you, especially around you, but there was still a few things you had to get past. It was okay though; he just needed time. That much you understood. This was new to you, too.

“I'm nervous,” you admitted quietly, “but I trust you.”

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your mouth. Your eyes fluttered closed. “I trust you, too.”

Changmin brought his lips to the corner of your mouth, then to the underside of your jaw. Your fingers buried themselves into his hair as he trailed his lips down the column of your neck as if to taste every inch of your skin.

Your heart palpitated in your chest and you held him close, neck craned to encourage him. A moan slipped from your mouth when you felt his teeth graze your pulse. The rough pad of his tongue swiped over the mark he left.

It was strange to think of how trust and love worked. It would be so easy to rip your throat out, but instead, he was here kissing you.

His fingers danced along the bottom hem of your shirt in silent question, and you guided his hand beneath the fabric and along your bare skin. You shuddered as his fingers trailed up your side and reached the edge of your bra.

He raised his lips up to meet yours again, eyes half lidded.

Your shirt came up and over your head, bra clasp unsnapping behind your body until your top half was bare before him.

And he looked at you under him with an expression you couldn't discern immediately. It was that thing he always did, the look he had in his eyes when he stared at you, but this time felt slightly different.

You shied away into yourself, one of your arms coming to lie across your chest. “What?” You let out a small laugh.

He swallowed, meeting your eyes. “I…” Changmin took your arm and brought your once-shattered wrist to his mouth. He pinned your arm above your head then, so he could see you. “Nothing, I just—you’re beautiful.”

Your resolve softened. “You can touch me.”

He kissed you again then, softly, one palm enclosing around your left breast. You shivered, your heart throwing itself up against its confines so it might reach the hand it wanted to be held in.

Changmin rolled one perked nipple between his fingers and you arched your chest up into his hand.

“I never say it—” He said, tongue swiping over your lips again for any and every taste of you, “—as much as you deserve to hear it.”

His lips met your pulse again, mouth trailing down your clavicle, to the pendant resting on your sternum. The pulsing of the scarlet mirrored your own racing heartbeat and gave your state of mind clean away. Every touch of his lips, lap of his tongue, nip of his teeth along your skin felt like he was tracing your outline and committing you to memory. Every inch of you, loved and worshiped and acknowledged. Not his to own, but his to cherish.

Changmin's shirt came off next, exposing a toned upper body marked in faded white scars here and there. Oh, to kiss each mark upon his body—an endeavor for another time. The twin to your necklace swung over you from around his neck as he returned himself to your embrace.

“You're beautiful, too—d’you know that?” You murmured to him between the breaths between kisses.

“Only if you show me.”

You smiled against his mouth. “Deal.”

You felt his mouth curl up in a similar gesture, his arms wrapping around your waist and pressing the length of his body against yours. His weight was a comfort, kissing him was a dream.

Changmin tugged the waistline of your pants down, fingers hooking in the elastic of your underwear, then pausing. “This okay, sweetheart?”

You nodded, and you helped kick your bottoms off and away. He was swift to follow suit, the belt of his buckle clinking together as he slid it off, then his jeans, and boxers. You could see the outline of his cock strain through the fabric before his aching, reddened length slapped against his lower stomach.

“Would it ruin the mood if I said that probably isn't what your demon form dick looks like?” You asked cheekily as he clambered back over you.

Changmin rolled his eyes. “I'm tryna be romantic and all you can talk about is—mmmph!”

You silenced him by dragging his mouth back down to yours. He melted into you, weaving his hand between your bodies so he could drag his fingers through your lower lips. You jolted at the feeling, your hips twitching in his direction in a silent plea.

He groaned low into your mouth, withdrawing as he circled his fingers through your arousal. “Is this all for me?” He asked, dipping a finger into your cunt. His thumb drew dizzying circles into your clit, and you swore you saw stars.

“Yeah, 's all for you,” you exhaled, earning you a searing kiss as he swallowed those words.

You pushed your hips against his hand, a pair of his thick fingers filling you up and curling against the sweet, gummy spot of your inner walls. It was as if he knew exactly where to find it, and knew exactly how much pressure would make you rocket up toward white-hot bliss.

You whimpered against his mouth as the tension in the pit of your stomach wound up tightly. “Changmin—”

“You close, sweetheart? Wanna see how pretty you look when you come.”

His thumb branded your clit with his fingerprint and drove you to insanity. Blood rushed in your ears, head spinning as he helped you over that crest. You cried out as you crashed and the steady pumping of his fingers coaxed you through it. Your fingers dug into the muscle of his shoulders, grounding you as your legs shook and toes curled.

His fingers maintained their steady pace as you came down from the high. You imagined you looked like something of a hot mess beneath him, but when your eyes fluttered up to meet his, you were struck by the tenderness in those dark irises.

When you could breathe evenly, he withdrew his fingers and collected your come to thumb over the pearl beaded at the tip of his cock. “Are you—was that okay?” He asked, his free hand thumbing your cheek. You saw his jaw twitch as he pumped his cock with his other hand, slickened with both of your arousal.

You gave a breathy laugh, and he nearly stopped at the sight of your smile. “Okay? That was—that was more than okay,” you said. “Ji Changmin, come here. Let me kiss you.”

It was something in the way he crushed his mouth against yours this time, one hand cradling the side of your face like you were all he ever wanted—the other coming up to grasp your side—that had your stomach doing flips. And if actions spoke louder than words, you wanted to believe that he was yelling them at you now. If he couldn't bring himself to scream them from the top of a building, this would be enough.

Your nose gently bumped against his. “Can I do something for you?”

He replied lowly between kisses, “Another time. Just… let me do this for you. It'll be enough for me.”

You melted in his hold, as if he didn't make you a fuzzy-chested, dizzy-headed mess all the time.

You felt him nudge your opening, and you locked your hands around his neck. Slowly, you felt a delicious stretch as he pushed into you. Changmin groaned into your neck, the sound making you arch yourself into him further. His voice alone sent you careening toward your own climax, it was so sensual.

Once he sat in you to the hilt, hips locked against hips, he lingered to give you a moment to get comfortable. The girth of him filled you up delectably, the pain only the undertone to pleasure.

He raised his head out of the crook of your neck. “Sweetheart?”

“Yeah—” you nodded, “—I’m good.”

He returned the gesture, biting his lip, then swooping down to kiss you again. “You're doing so well for me,” he murmured. “So warm, so tight. Fuck, you feel divine.”

He pulled himself out slightly, then gave an experimental thrust of his hips. Your hold tightened around him, a moan slipping from your lips. He held you as he continued this motion, a steady and strong rocking of his hips against yours, cock dragging along your walls in confident strokes.

He tucked his head back into your shoulder, lips pressing open mouthed kisses to your hot skin. You could feel the dampness between your thighs dribble down your legs, and you were gradually clambering back onto that hill with your stomach twisting in pleasure.

His labored breathing filled your ear, followed by his mouth—marks lovingly pressed into your flesh and whispered in your ear. You locked a leg around his slim waist and met his thrusts, the pacing quickening slightly as you both began approaching your highs.

Your voice came out choked and desperate. “Changmin, I'm…”

“Yeah, sweetheart; I got you.” Changmin pushed himself back up to hover over you for the last few thrusts, his lips pressed together tightly and sweat dripping down the slope of his nose. He slipped a hand between your bodies again and worked at your nub—and it was all you needed to be pushed over that edge again.

You cried out his name, fingernails burying themselves in his shoulders. You clenched down hard around him, breathing hard and ragged.

You thought you heard him groan out your name as his hips stilled and he came. You exhaled heavily, his body wrapping around yours again while you both caught your breath and descended from bliss.

He left a kiss just below your ear and you cupped the back of his head and shoulders to your body. “Fuck me,” he muttered, rolling your bodies to the side, legs sticky and tangled together.

“Didn't I just do that?” You mused.

He chuckled, moving his head to bump his nose against yours. “Yeah, guess so.” Changmin gazed at you then, eyes searching and searching and searching. You never asked what he was looking for; you always figured he'd one day be able to tell you.

He licked his lips and a crease formed between his brows. “Yn… Yn, I…”

The voice inside his throat remained trapped, the words on his tongue froze. You looked up at him, glassy-eyed and patient, the tilt of your lips so sweet and terribly beautiful. He'd never been at such a loss for words.

You moved forward to press a kiss to his mouth. “I know,” you said. Even if he couldn't say it yet, you always knew.

He swallowed, a moment of silence falling between the two of you. His heart careened against his chest, and he was sure if the amulet he wore now had his blood running through it, the damn thing would pound away like a galloping horse.

He wondered how he got so lucky.

But though he couldn't express it in words, he would always find a different way to reassure you that he felt the same. Changmin leaned forward and wordlessly captured your lips again, rolling you onto your back and pressing every last word he hadn't the guts to say into this searing kiss.

I love you, I adore you. Thank you. Be mine, in life and death; mortally and immortally. Every promise, he would strive to keep.

a/n: at one point, yes, i will write abt sex in his demon form LMAO what did u expect from me 🤣 anyways, this turned out to be around the length of an actual chapter of nt haha

m.list

[welikeimagines-andfandoms]

Kinktober day 3- Hate Sex: Loki

Summary: You and Loki hate each other. Can you fuck it out?

Word count: 2,346 words

It had been about 6 months since Loki had come to live in the avengers compound, and about 2 years since you were rescued from hydra and began living with them. In that time you’d both made amends and became close with the team, but not with each other. In fact the opposite was true, you couldn’t stand one another.

This feud had started off innocently enough, with you just not liking his arrogance and him liking to stir up the young midguardian woman but it’s grown worse since then. Neither of you can stand to be in the same room for too long and Nat had even made Steve change the training schedule so you 2 wouldn’t have to be around each other. Once you were even in the elevator with each other for just a bit too long and almost blew it up.

Everyone on the team had tried many times to get you both to at least tolerate each other but nothing would work. You both simply could not stand each other.

One night you could just not sleep, tossing and turning for about 2 hours before you decided to get up and do something. Your brain was not tired and your body was not shutting off so you decided to get dressed and head to the compounds gym, maybe a run or a couple punches on the bag would help.

So far it seemed to be doing the trick, but as you manoeuvred around the bag to give it another combo, you spotted him. As soon as your eyes found each other you both seem to roll them in unison.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You spat at him, taking your earphones out.

“Well it’s a gym, darling, where one may workout, maybe that’s what I’m doing.” He retorts, words laced with sarcasm and venom.

“Fuck you, Loki! And don’t call me darling.” You roll your eyes again as you turn to face away from him and return to the bag.

Before you could make another hit however you feel a hand on your waist and see another resting on the bag. Turning around you find, Loki towering over you.

“Why don’t you like when I call you ‘Darling’, darling?” He asks you teasingly with a smirk on his face.

“Because!” You accentuate as you shove him away.

“It’s you saying it.” You reply back with just as much, if not more attitude.

“Well I suppose if it was another one of the team saying it you’d be fine? Someone you actually consider worthy of such attention.” He bites back at you.

“Yeh someone worthy, someone like Thor. He’s the worthy one, not you.” You spit back at him, knowing that would hurt him.

A snarl made its way to his face and you knew you’d won as you turned around and began to put your earphones back in, but were too late before he started up again.

“Well maybe I should save my compliments and pet names for someone who’s actually attractive. Perhaps Natasha or Wanda would be appropriate.” He bites back with just as much venom, knowing that was also a low blow.

That hurt, but you kept your head up high as you turned back to him with a smirk.

“Funny you think they’d actually want you. You’re nothing, Loki. You’re second rate and you know it, the only reason you’re even here is because we like Thor. He’s the only reason you’re not locked away,” anger now evident in Lokis face and trembling fists as you continued your assault “he’s the reason you’re not dead. Your brother, Thor, the worthy one the one who’s actu-.” Your torment filled rants was cut short as Loki smash his mouth into yours, pushing you all the way back until your back collided with the wall.

At first you wanted to push him off but in your own twisted way you saw this as a challenge. Grabbing onto his gym shirt you deepen the kiss, now opening your mouth as your tongues fight for dominance.

“You are a rude, disgusting woman!” He says now grabbing your hair and pulling it back as his body pushes against yours, using his godly strength to keep you caged in.

“Maybe you need someone to teach you some manners, or maybe you just need someone to fuck some into you. Maybe that’s why you’re such a bitch, because no one wants to fuck you.” He growled, his face now getting closer to you.

“What you think you’re the one to do it? You think if you fuck me maybe I’ll be nice to you? Maybe I’ll be compliant? That I’ll see you as a mighty god?” You ask him tauntingly with a rage filled smirk on your face.

Flipping you around before you have a second to fight back he pushes your face into the wall, his hand pulling on your hair roughly and a tight grip squeezing into your hip. Pushing his strong body against your back and ass you can now feel his very hard cock pushing into your lower back, feeling every inch of him. Without meaning to you let out a small moan and leant into his grip, your body betraying you.

“Oh haha, who’s not worthy now, little girl?” He whispers hotly into your ear, taunting you once again.

“Fuck you.” You yell back as best you can with your face being forced onto the wall.

“I will if you like. Is that what you’d like?” He asked, his hand now reaching around to grab your covered pussy, feeling just how wet you are even with your workout pants and panties on.

“Mmmhhmm it feels like that’s exactly what you want.” He moans in your ear, playing with you through your clothes and slowly but strongly humping against your back.

You both stayed quiet for a moment, the only sounds echoing through the gym were both of you quietly moaning and grunting.

Loki truly did have skilled fingers because only moments later of just playing with you over your clothes you could feel your body tingling and you knew you were close.

“Oh you dirty slut. You’re about to cum aren’t you? Do you want to cum?” He asks you tauntingly.

“Yes! Please I want to cum!” You begged, all rage now being flooded by pleasure and a need for release.

“Beg. Beg me and I’ll let you cum. Beg me to fuck you, to turn you into a good girl.” He growled in your ear, his thrusts on your behind becoming faster as did his strokes on your clit. You didn’t want to give in, you wanted to fight him and win but god damn it you couldn’t deny how hot he was and how good he was making you feeling.

“Oh fuck! Please, Loki! Please fuck me! I need you, make me a good girl. Please fuck me hard! Please! I need your cock.” You sobbed out, desperate to get some release.

“Good girl.” Was all he whispered before he took his hands away and took a step back.

Being denied your pleasure made the rage in you flood back with a great vengeance.

“What the fuck, Loki!” You shouted at him as you made your way towards him. Before you could even take a step forward though he was back on you, pushing you against the wall, hand on your throat and harsh kisses shoving your head back.

“You really think the first time I would make you cum would be over your clothes like pubescent boy? Darling I intend to give you an orgasm only a God can give you. So you be a good girl and lay on your back on the floor for me. I’ll show you why they say a have a silver tongue.” He whispered against your lips as you looked into his eyes with need and submission.

“Okay, Loki.” You said quietly, earning you a playful slap on the ass as you made your way to the ground.

Loki was quick to jump on top of you. Making quick work to use him godly strength, tearing the clothes from your trembling body, leaving you completely naked on the cold gym floor.

“Couldn’t you just have magiced them away.” You ask rudely, seeing your nice new gym outfit ripped to shreds beside you.

“Yes of course,” he says pushing a hand around your neck, pushing you further down “but then you wouldn’t be able to see my godly strength, little one.” He whispers hotly into your ear teasing you.

Before you can respond he removes his hand from your throat and drags a moan out of you as he bites down onto your neck. This bites followed by sweet kisses down your neck, to your throat and landing on your first breast. He takes your nipple in his mouth, sucking and nipping on it as your hands tangle in his hair as your eyes roll and your head falls back.

Once he’s satisfied with the treatment your first breast received he moves on to the next, giving it a similar treatment. Once he’s happy with the attention he’s given your breasts, his kisses continue down your stomach and all the way to your pussy.

He just stares at your pussy for a while taking you all in as he licks his lips and spreads your legs apart, big slender but strong hands squeezing your thighs. Suddenly he licks up your pussy and tauntingly sucks on your clit for other half a second.

“Oh, darling, if I knew you tasted his heavenly I would have shut you up ages ago.” He smirks at you cheekily as begins to lick and suck at you again.

Loki truly did have a talented tongue because less than a minute later you felt yourself about to cum again. Not wanting a repeat of last time you began to beg.

“Please, loki, please I’m about to cum. You can fuck me as hard as you like, I’ll be a good girl for you just please let me cum. Oh please let me cum, baby, I’ll be such a good girl.” You begin to babble as you can’t wait for a response any longer and you cum before you can even stop yourself. A wave of pleasure like you’ve never felt before rushes over you as you grab onto Lokis hair and scream out a moan, head falling back and eyes rolling.

Once Lokis face comes back up you begin to worry, trying to babble out an apology, still in a state of great euphoria.

“Loki I’m sorry, I couldn’t control it, I needed to cum, I’m sorry.” You begged him, worried you’d done something bad.

“Shh shh, don’t worry, darling, you did wonderful.” He told you as he stroked your face.

His sweet and calm demeanour didn’t last long however as he grabs you by your throat once again and flips you over. Pushing your head down into the ground and shoving your ass up in the air. You moan as you feel his hard cock against your ass, this clothes now removed by his magic.

“Didn’t think I’d forget to fuck you did I? You naughty little girl. I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll never want to be mean to me again. Make you into such a good girl.” He growls in your ear as you try to rub yourself against him.

Before you can begin begging however, he’s shoved him cock all the way inside you, forcing your body forward.

“Fuck, you’re already my good little girl, your pussy was so wet I could just slam right into you.” He taunts as he begins to fuck you at a godly pace and power.

His hands dig into your hips so hard it hurt, no doubt leaving bruises and pain you’ll feel tomorrow. He truly was a god, the roughness of his thrusts not calming down, not even once. He fucks you full speed and force for what feels like a splendid eternity.

Your head begins to go dizzy as you can feel your orgasm approaching, sensing this Loki reaches around to lightly touch your clit, his speed and power not letting up once though.

“You’re close are you, my good girl? You gonna cum for me? You want to cum for your king? Be such a good girl for me?” He asks you sweetly.

Loki had been hitting all your right spots and fucking you so hard that all you could manage was a weak nod of your head, as another moan left your body with Loki pushing down harder on your clit.

“Oh is my good girl too cock drunk to answer? To full of pleasure? Don’t worry, my darling, I’ll let you cum. Come on, little girl, cum for me.” He says only now panting as he gets closer to finishing himself.

Mere moments after his words of encouragement you scream out a moan of absolute delight and pleasure as your eyes roll back. You feel a burst of wetness between your legs as Loki holds onto your hips and fucks you even faster, now cumming himself.

He roars out a moan as he finishes inside you, both of your cum mixing together.

Before you can fall to the floor Loki quickly pulls out of you and scoops you up into his arms. As you feel the warmth of his chest and his racing heart beat you realise he’s transported you under the covers in his nice warm bed.

He’s cleaned you up nicely and holds you lovingly against his chest as he kisses your forehead and strokes your arm.

“Are you going to keep fighting me now?” He asks playfully.

“Well if being mean gets me fucked like that then I might have to.” You joke back.

“Hmmm,” he sighs “how about being nice and seeing what I give you then, sweet girl.” He whispers to you seductively as he squeezes your ass before you both drift softly off to sleep.

[tatsumessy]

The Plane Crash - {Rin Itoshi}

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You shouted walking behind your husband of two years who was ignoring any sort of confrontation with you right now. “I don’t want to talk about this right now, he said tossing his duffel bag by the foot of the bed and unzipping his jacket. “What? Saving our marriage? You can’t talk about saving a marriage we both wanted! Stop making it seem like I’m forcing you to do your fucking part when all I ask is that you love me.”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!” He screamed grabbing his head in frustration, “I can’t be everything and perfect at the same time. I have a life beside being Y/n L/n’s husband.” You scoffed and slowly wiped away the tears that were falling from your eyes. With Rin being a pro football player you knew all you had to do was support him, he’s everything and more for you and you know that. But you never knew he’d use being your husband as a form of feeling trapped.

Maybe that’s why he’s been spending more time on the field rather than coming home in time for the two of you to eat dinner together. When did the two of you stop feeling like a couple? When was the last time you went to sleep without crying?

“I’m sorry that I had to try for you but it was so hard and impossible for you to do the same for me.” You said walking over to the closet and grabbing your big travel luggage, opening it you started grabbing a bunch of clothes from the hangers and from the dresser. “What are you doing?” He asked looking up at you, fear struck his eyes slightly seeing you move as quick as you did. “I’m going to stay with my parents for a while, it looks like we both need space from each other. I’ll come back for the playoff game.” Rin stayed silent and chose to listen.

“I’ll send you my plane information and when I make it there safely but I really just think we need to spend some time apart from each other.”

~

“Yes mom, I’ll be fine I promise. He knows I’ll be late to the game. He just wants me there no matter what time I show up.” You say trying to reassure your mother who was worried about literally anything. She pulls you in for a hug and then kisses your cheeks watching as you disappeared into the gate. Your flight had already been delayed three times and at this rate you were going to miss your husband’s first play off game which you promised you’d be there for him.

It was a five hour flight and you were more nervous to see Rin. Since the fight you two had only talked twice in the time span of three months. The two of you agreed that it was better if you talked in person rather than over the phone. “Excuse me passangers, this is your flight attendant. We will be landing shortly, please fasten your seatbelts and stow away all trays. I’ll be coming around shortly to collect trash. Thank you.” She put the phone down and started walking down the aisle, once getting to you she paused.

“You look familiar.” She said taking the empty water bottle from you, “were you on the blue lock award ceremony or something?” “With my husband yes.” “You’re Itoshi Rin’s wife!” You nodded nervously while blushing slightly, this is the first time you’ve actually been noticed. “I’m sorry you aren’t able to make-” she was interrupted by the plane shaking aggressively, the plane then again started shaking but this time more rougher. The flight attendant’s body flew up hitting the top of the roof then landing back on the floor. Everything was happening so fast the next thing you knew was the oxygen mask were coming down.

~

Rin had just finished scoring the winning goal and instead of hearing the normal loud cheering all he hear was chaos. The people in the crowd were either trying to leave or were freaking out about the game. Rin walked over to his coach with his fully decorated water bottle thanks to you. “What’s going on?” He asked and the coach was in his own world on the phone with someone while anxiously trying to get his shit together.

“One of the planes crashed into xxx pier”. Rin felt his heart t drop to his stomach, “do you know the flight number?” Rin asked, before the game he had briefly glanced at your flight plans but he couldn’t remember exactly what flight number you were on. “Flight 717, sorry good game today guys but I gotta go. My kids are on that flight.” Rin felt his stomach tightening, for some odd reason that number just didn’t sit right with him.

The moment he entered the locker room he pulled out his phone and went straight to his messages.

Wife 💚: hey my flight was delayed once again, so I won’t be able to make it. Good luck you know you’re the best. Oh and my flight number is 717.

He immediately grabbed all of his stuff and started heading towards- he didn’t even know. He just knew he needed to get to you.

Opening your eyes you looked around seeing most of the passengers either dismembered, trying to get out, or just dead. Slowly turning you undid the seatbelt and started to panic even more seeing the water fill up the plane. Using the armrest you tried to get out of your seat but your legs were lodged under something. “Help!” You shouted crying a bit as the water was quickly rising up your legs.

The fireman walked slowly up to you and started to check for further injuries. You didn’t even notice the large gash on your forehead, “alright, are you okay ma’am?” You nodded your head yes not being able to speak out of pure shock. The fireman tried to push against the metal pole stuck on top of your legs but it wasn’t budging. The water pressure was pushing against it too hard.

“AHH!!” You screamed out feeling the pole dig further into your legs. Biting your bottom lip a crippling crying erupted from your mouth. “C-Can you do me a favor?” You asked feeling the water reach up to your chest. “Can you give a message to my husband, Itoshi Rin.” The fireman shook his head no and kept trying to pull the pole up, “look, we both know this plane is about to go down and it’d be more beneficial if you lived rather than me.” You said taking slow deep breaths.

You were the only one left on the plane, besides dead bodies, everyone else was saved. “I’m saving the both of us, if you go down, I go down. Simple.” He said and tears started to form once again. Reaching over you grabbed his walkie and held it up to your mouth. “Whoever is hearing this people get this message out to my husband. My name is Itoshi Y/n. Baby, I’m sorry for our fight. I never meant to make you feel like you were trapped. I love you and I’m sorry if I ever failed you as a wife and as your best friend.” Letting go of the walkie the water was reaching up to your neck and it was really getting hard for you to talk let alone breathe.

“Okay this is what we’re going to do, I’m going to tie this rope around it and the speedboat is going to pull it off of you long enough for you to swim out.” He said and you nodded slowly not fully believing that this plan would actually work. The water was rising even higher and he was still tying the rope off. Once he finally got it he swam out the way a bit and signaled the man to go, it was suffering a bit but the pole lifted slightly giving you enough room to wiggle out of your seat. The problem was you couldn’t swim, your legs were most likely fractured.

~

Rin arrived at the crash sight and was led towards a big area that held two different sections. The survivors and the deceased. After searching all throughout the survivors section for you he hesitantly walked towards the deceased section to make his worst nightmare possibly come true. He stood there staring at all the covered up bodies in shock. He flinched feeling a small dainty hand tap him in his shoulder, “excuse me. Are you looking for a specific someone?” The responder asked holding up her clipboard filled with names.

“Um-y-yes my wife. Itoshi Y/n.” It was silent for a moment as she looked over the list, she clicked her tongue before bringing the clipboard down and giving Rin a sympathetic smile. “She isn’t on the list, this may be a good thing…or her body hasn’t been discovered yet. I’m sorry.” She said and walked away leaving Rin lost and confused. “WE HAVE ANOTHER ONE!” A group shouted from the water, one of the fireman was holding an unconscious heavily injured body.

The one thing that caught Rin’s attention was the 13 charmed bracelet, that was hanging from the wrist of the woman. It was you, he started running over towards the stretcher heart racing with each step he took. Your legs were bruised and bloodied and the gash on your forehead was alarming for many reasons but the main one was the amount of complaining he was going to hear when you wake up. He gently caressed the top of your head noticing you stirring around, your eyes opened slowly and the moment you saw Rin you almost fell off the stretcher trying to hug him.

He kissed the crook of your neck and cheek while whispering small praises for you being so strong. “I was so scared…I-I-I thought I was going to die!” you whispered and whined while clutching tightly onto his shoulders. “You’re okay baby. You’re okay now.” He rubbed the back of your head then let go of you briefly so that the both of you could ride in the ambulance together.

“Be honest with me. How bad is it? I could practically feel the blood running down my face.” You laughed awkwardly while rubbing something out of your eye, “you’re beautiful y/n.” He said leaning down and kissing your forehead then giving you a fake smile that you were all too familiar with but the two of you just laughed then sat in silence. “Rin, I’m sorry, I never meant to make you feel stuck.” “I’m not stuck. I never felt stuck. I just didn’t want to disappoint you and with the playoffs happening I was just stressed and took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

You sat there in shock at his statement. “Rin. You are a freaking all star. No matter what happens I’ll always be proud of you. I’m your wife, I support you in everything you do. I love you.” He leaned down and pressed a debtor kiss on your lips then one on your forehead. He whispered an I love you back then kissed you again.

[blingblong55]

Eternal Sleep- John Price

F!Reader, loss of a child, stillbirth (I'm not sure if this is the correct term), angst, some fluff

This super short one is dedicated to all those mothers whose babies are in eternal sleep.

Inspired by: Sign Of The Times- Harry Styles

R/N and John, are a happy couple in their early to late 30s. They met when John was a lieutenant. Met each other's parents and decided to not get married simply because they weren’t ready to elevate their relationship to a legal one.  Or that's what John says. In reality, he's afraid of giving in and failing, but he really does love her. They've been together for over 7 years, Some may say it's been the best 7 years of these two love birds' lives, but we’ll leave that up to you. 

And nearly about 8 months ago they found out they were pregnant. John got a promotion as a captain and R/N got a promotion at her office. She's now a manager of a small but important team. They’ve saved up for their baby’s life, it's not much, but it's something! Jolene is now on maternity leave and John in about 3 weeks will be on leave too.

He decided to not get any vacations since the announcement of her pregnancy just so he could save the days for their baby’s arrival, he even works extra hours too.  R/N is now at their baby’s nursery, she's placing everything they might need for when the baby arrives. She holds her stomach and looks at the reflection in the window, She feels the baby kick her belly,

  “Just a little longer my sweet angel” she smiles. John arrives, he leaves his bags at the door and walks upstairs. “How is my pretty girl doing?” He walks behind her and hugs her. She never understood how a girl like her could be with a man like him, but she was lucky nonetheless. “Pretty good for a chilly October” She looks down and watches as the kids go by, running in costumes and candy in their bags.

“Soon our little angel will be running down the streets with a bag of candy,” he says, he walks back to the hallway and turns the heat on, “I don’t want the both of you to get sick darling.” he loudly says as he walks back down the stairs. “Promise we won't!” She answers back and walks downstairs too.

“How was work? Any new drama I can hear about?” she asks, sitting down on the sofa and smiling. He laughs knowing she lives for all the gossip he’s about to give her. “C’mere, my sweet sweet r/n” 

And for the remainder of the evening, he watched her as she gasped, laughed and even added comments to all the gossip he had for her. Once he finished his rant he leaned in and kissed her, Do her lips taste like heaven, pure heaven and I’m the one who gets this glory he thought.

“Marry me, R/N, marry me darling, please” he almost whispered his words. His face got warm. And when he thought she’d say no her smile creeped in and she looked him in the eyes, “The answer is yes, but are you sure? I know you have that issue and-”

“Can I kiss you? and give you this ring?” he furrowed his eyebrows, afraid of her response. “John? You don’t have to ask me silly” She placed her hand on his chest.

“Consent above all my darling”

She nodded her head. 

He was never the one people would think he'd settle down and start a family, but the dates and many days he spent with R/N he slowly and hopelessly fell in love with her. He never thought of another woman. In fact, when another woman would tell him they bought new perfume he’d ask which one they wore because maybe his lady would like the smell of it, anything that he would see or hear about he would immediately think of her and wonder if she'd like it. If she talked about a new makeup, jewelry or any sort of product he would write it down and take her to the stores that weekend. But she always felt bad and would only get one thing, just one. 

-3 weeks later- 

R/N slept on her side and John slept on a chair beside her, patiently waiting for her to get any sort of signal their baby was ready to be delivered. At around 2 a.m. she woke up and he jumped to her side, “You think it's time doll?”She nodded and he ran to the nursery and grabbed the bags they had prepared a few days before tonight, he rushed to the car and back to her, she was already sitting on the bedside. 

The entire way to the hospital he kept checking on her, he held her hand and would often kiss it. 

Once they got there a nurse rushed outside and took her inside in a wheelchair. He waited out in the hallway and paced back and forth. He had promised her he wanted her to feel free when delivering their baby. But curiosity kicked in, and he made his way inside her room. There she was, smiling through the pain. She reached her hand for him to take, and he walked to her side and held her hand in his, “You got this, you’re so strong” he kept whispering in her ear. The nurse gave him a towel so he would dry the sweat off his forehead. When he thought everything was going right he heard alarms going off and more doctors rushing in. They pushed him aside and took her elsewhere.

A nurse told him it was so they could focus on R/N and the baby. He stayed in the room alone. Walking through the room, he called his parents, and they called hers. He cried and even prayed. He hadn’t done that since he was nearly 6 years old. A kid praying for his brother's return now praying for his girl and baby’s life. He remembered all those moments of him and her dancing in the kitchen while they baked some food for Easter and running down streets drunk and messing around.

“I think I love you!” he said as she took her hand and kept running from their friends and she kissed him, and at that moment he knew there was no other girl for him. No one could replace her, she filled up his heart, and memories. To him, she had become his gold memories, the ones he went back to when he felt sad. 

A doctor walked in, his face told what his voice couldn’t say. 

“Doctor?” he walked up to him, “She is fine, you can come in now.” John still had doubts, why didn’t he mention the baby? “And our baby?”

“Looks healthy” 

Once he walked inside of her new room for at least the next day or three, he saw them. He felt all that weight gone from him. A tear threatened to fall down, but he played strong. “Hi handsome” she whispered, her voice sounded weak, like she was sick. But he understood that she went through too much pain to even mention this. “Hey, beautiful” his voice cracked. His hands felt sweaty, but when his eyes laid on his baby all that fear and nervousness left his mind. 

“Is this angel really ours?” a nurse walked back in, ready to poke another needle on the baby’s foot. R/N nodded. “You want to hold it?” He looked at her and nodded, his smile widened. “Please,” he answered. Thankfully her bed was pretty wide and he sat right next to her. She handed her their baby. He was afraid of hurting it, “W-wow, darling….you created this, thank you. Truly thank you. Now I have these two angels with me.” he kissed the baby’s forehead and smiled. “Thank you R/N for making me a father. I respect how strong you are, seriously babe.” 

But tragedy struck. The baby stopped breathing. The nurse rushed to their side and called for backup. She took the baby off his arms and rushed elsewhere. John walked into the hallway. A security guard kept him out there. About ten minutes later a doctor came up to him. A few nurses followed behind. “I’m sorry” he paused and looked down, “we did our best, Your baby fought for every breath left in their little chest, but it wasn’t enough.” 

John took a few steps back and shook his head, the tears now became a river stream. “Please tell me this isn’t true, Our baby can’t be dead, please.” he cried and at moments his voice would give up on him. “Can I see her?” was all he was left to say. “Please, I need to see my r/n” his voice felt weak, almost like a breaking point.

“My baby, where is it? I held it but they took it away, do you have it, John?” His eyes water and his skin shivers, how is he supposed to tell her this news? “Darling, our baby” he inhales and looks at her, Her eyes are filled with joy, but when she takes another look at him it all vanishes. “They did everything they could, they even gave us this.” he hands her a teddy bear, the weight of their baby. R/N held tight and cried. She shook her head and cried for so long that he walked out and into the hallway once more, he cried out there. Holding himself. Holding the pieces of a memory, the memory of a forever sleeping baby.

[chelemlem]

Landoscar flatmates au ? For the au prompts!

OH HELLO. ok this is more neighbours au than flatmates but !

lando moves into his first london apartment trying to get his new streaming company off the ground. it's Not a nice place exactly. the stairwell is a fire hazard and there are water stains wrapped around the smaller-than-he's-used-to kitchen and he's pretty sure his downstairs neighbours are serial killers with the odd hours they keep & passive aggressive notes they leave around (wdym "kindly refrain from yelling when ppl are trying to sleep" who goes to bed at 7pm m8? but ok FINE he can schedule his cod streams for earlier in the day 🙄)

but that's what you get for wanting to "make it on ur own". so to speak

one sultry summer afternoon his doorbell rings and oh worm? it's the fabled downstairs neighbour who he's never met before. he's got floppy hair and bags under his eyes and apparently he's going to be late on rent this month bc he lost his second job. internally lando's like uh ok sure? what's that got to do with me but then Floppy Hair gives him a slow once-over and says: "or i could maybe. blow you?"

and that's??? fuck, why not. the guy's fit. what the hell

he figures out what that was all about later: oscar the downstairs bloke thinks LANDO owns the apartment bc he coincidentally shares a last name with their landlord ?

which brings up like: The Ethical Conundrum. on one hand: honesty, yeah? but lando's morals are fluid at the best of times and tbh the convenience of having dick that good only a floor down is nothing to sneeze at‼️ besides, between his delivery job and engineering coursework, oscar seems to have enough on his plate without adding apartment-hunting to the mix. it's win-win, really? what oscar doesn't know won't hurt him. lando can cover his share

cue 3-5 months of some of the best sex lando's ever had, partly for the normal reasons and partly bc of how Down oscar is to try all the weird kinky shit lando is into (which he chalks up to the fact that in oscar's mind he's essentially selling his body for shelter...... insert vague guilt)

and the problem is lando's growing fond of oscar's like dry sense of humor and his surprisingly good cooking (when he's got the time) and ends up doing all sorts of throat-constrictingly domestic stuff like dropping oscar off at class and ordering extra groceries for him and one day when they're sat in oscar's apartment waiting for the kettle (a shmancy new one lando bought) to boil, oscar jokes "oh am i officially a sugar baby now... a rentboy if u will" lando has a mild (read: severe) crisis about it and just. blurts out the truth

oscar's quiet for a bit. and then he's like: yeah i know

and hi what? the? fuck? but oscar's like uh so i ran into our real landlord a couple of weeks after we started shagging and i know i should have said something when u began paying a third of my rent but. shrugs. i looked u up and it seems like you can afford it (pure electric advert). also i... like hanging out with you. i like cooking for you. i like having sex and enough free time to sleep. i wanna keep doing it if you... (he's blushing now) don't mind

and lando's lowkey like youuu son of a bitch but he recognises he doesn't have a leg to stand on and hey does this mean oscar can actually spend nights at his place instead of walking back to his own apartment ? cut to future oscar cameoing in the background of lando's streams as Anonymous Boyfriend and maxf being like why the hell do you still have him saved in ur phone as "rentboy 💕"

[lovejosephquinn]

Ooooh can we get some angst up in here? Maybe Joe and the readers first fight/most intense fight? There’s a lot of tears and saying things neither one of them means, but they don’t make up? (I live for angst)

You’re an excellent writer btw 🥰 x

I'm not a huge writer of angst so I really don't know how this is going to go lmao, sorry if it's bad 👀

Thank you for the love, you're too sweet 😘 x

Read Part 2 Here.

It was safe to say that it was officially one of the worst evenings of your life, you walked out of the party of Joe's friend that you'd promised to go to, sure you'd only been dating a couple of months, but he'd spent weeks begging you to go with him, admitting that it would be good for you to spend time with his friend circle and get to know them since he was exceedingly close to them. But then within a couple of hours into the gathering he was the most ignorant pig you'd ever met.

You'd befriended a girl there who sat and chatted to you when Joe got up to go chat with some people that had arrived late, leaving you an anxious mess on the sofa tucked in the corner of the biggish lounge area.

You watched as one of the girls, a redhead who appeared to be getting to close and personal with him as soon as she laid her eyes on him, too much for your liking. You stared the both of them down as he pulled her into a tight hug, you tried to shake it off until she started to touch his chest when he said something that made her laugh or cup his cheek when she liked the sound of something.

"Who's she?" you outright asked to the girl sat beside you.

"Oh. Her. That's his ex-girlfriend from school, she's always been a bit obsessed with him. Bit of a weird one actually."

"Weird? Obsessed? In what way?"

"Well, once they broke up, she ruined every other relationship he had through school, but he never saw fault in her, guess that's typical Joe, always seeing the good in people."

"She sounds terrible."

"I'd like to hope she's grown up out of her childish dramas, but-"

You cut the girl off and got up, wandering over to Joe and stood beside him. He completely ignored that you had put your arm around his waist and carried on catching up with the girl you clearly already detested.

"And who's this?" she muttered at Joe, her eyes giving you a dead look as if you'd ruined their 'moment'.

"Oh, this is Y/N, a very close friend." Joe winked at you, and you couldn't possibly believe what you'd just been referred as. You scoffed at Joe, both of them looking at you now. She knew full well who you really were to him but seemed to relish in the fact he'd only referred to you as a friend.

"Hm, pretty. I'm Joe's ex, good to meet you."

"My ex from about 13 years ago and never lets me forget it."

She snatched onto his arm, her laugh so fake. "Couldn't possibly miss out on seeing our Joseph here when he's in the big leagues now after chasing it for so long."

So that's it. That's why she was here. After Joe now he was famous.

"Can I talk to you for a minute please?" you stared at Joe and then back to the redhead, "privately."

Joe took you over to one side. "What's your problem? If looks could kill Y/N." He whispered lowly so no one overheard.

"Are you fucking serious? A 'close friend'? Don't want your precious cow of an ex knowing who I am?"

"Don't be horrible, she was trying to be nice."

"I'm sorry what? Why are you sticking up for her? And why am I not introduced as your girlfriend, who even are you right now?"

His ex-came skipping over and wrapped herself around Joe's arm, grinning an evil smirk your way. "Joe, come on we really need to catch up."

"Hold on a second." Joe muttered bluntly, not even shaking her off his arm.

"Y/N I-"

"Save it, you prick." You swerved back round to the girl, not willing to take any more of this shit. "Hi, you devious little slag I'm Y/N, I'm Joe's girlfriend. He's clearly to blind to see how much of an awful person you really are. I don't know what he sees in you, and I don't like who he is around you so you're quite welcome to this version of him."

With that, before you could make any more rash decisions, you walked away, you left out the front door almost instantly. Realising you'd left your bag, you jogged back in stealthily to fetch it and just out of your peripheral vision you noticed the two of them stood in the kitchen doorway, his eyes tense as he looked like he was trying to explain something your ears couldn't quite catch on to, you hovered behind a crowd of people watching her rise up to wrap her arms around his neck, standing on her tip toes as she kissed him square on the lips, Joe pushed her away and before you witnessed anything else you made a direct route through everyone and shoved the girl down to the floor, spitting in her face and slapping Joe across the face.

"Don't you ever talk to me again, don't you ever come near me again."

"Y/N!" Joe yelled, his eyes tearing up as you left the house once more. He ran out after you this time, catching up to you and clutching at your arm trying to pull you back, you fell to the floor as tears streamed down your face. He knelt down beside you, trying his best to get a look in at you but your hair covered the majority of your features.

"Let me explain, I-"

"Don't even, I don't want to hear your shit excuses."

"She kissed me, I tried to get her off. I saw right through her bullshit in that second, I missed it every other time she ruined my life and I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what I called you, I'm so god damn sorry, I guess deep down I knew all along I was just being the nice guy but instead I was hurting people that didn't deserve it."

"You're full of shit Quinn, you really are."

"Don't fucking come at me like that, you were being a bitch too. Let's just go back to my flat where we can talk properly." You didn't need to hear another word. He gripped onto your fist to try and get you up off your feet, but you nudged him away harshly which caused Joe to fall off balance and onto his backside.

You stood up over him, watching his guilty face. You knew deep down he didn't kiss her back and that he wouldn't have gone that far, you hoped deep, deep down. But if he couldn't show you off as his girlfriend now even to his crazy ex, then when could he?

"I'm going back to MY flat, as I said before, I don't want to hear from you again."

"So, what does that mean?" Tears began to reflect that of your own from his apologetic eyes.

"That this," you pointed between the two of you. "Whatever 'this' is, is done."

You left him sobbing in the middle of the street, ignoring his calls, ignoring every message that pinged through to your phone. He knew well enough to leave you alone whilst you were stewed on things normally, but this was the first fight you'd ever had and looked to the last, the heartache knowing that he'd done wrong in a certain sense was enough to blow up your device.

You considered so many times calling Joe back that night, but you never did. You knew from the bottom of your heart he wasn't a bad person, but could you really forgive him for such a rough turn of events. This ex of his had clearly won her own game again.

[thevioletcaptain]

🙍🏽‍♀️🐷🪷 (i scrolled and picked three random emojis pls enjoy)

“You wanna run that by me one more time?”

On the other end of the line, Patience lets out a long-suffering sigh — as though Dean’s the one making unexpected phone calls at quarter past three in the morning — and says it again. The words don’t make any more sense than they did the first time.

“In fourteen hours and — now seventeen minutes — a pig in Lotus, Illinois is going to die, and unless you save her life, she’s taking everyone in a 50 mile radius with her. And yeah, before you ask me to say it a third time, I am acutely aware of how stupid this sounds.”

“And when you say pig, are we talkin’ Babe, or—?“

“My visions aren’t symbolic, Dean. It’s an actual pig. Her name is Princess.”

“Right. Just… wanted to be sure before we started trailing all the cops in uh, where’d you say? Lotus?”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t find one there anyway. Internet says it’s an unincorporated community — looks like there’s maybe three farms there, total.”

“Looks like?”

“Satellite images,” she says.

“Right. Hey, hold on a sec.”

“‘Kay.”

Rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm, Dean pushes the rest of the way out of bed and throws on the same jeans he took off two hours ago. Switches out the ratty t-shirt he’d been almost-sleeping in for a fresh one, and yanks on his boots.

For once, he’d been planning on sleeping a solid seven hours. He was going to make maple bacon with blueberry waffles in the morning. Jack was going to help him mix the batter.

Depending on how things shake out with Patience’s vision, he might never be able to enjoy bacon again. Or for a few months, at least.

Fully dressed and heading out into the hall, he puts his phone back to his ear.

“I’m back,” he says, making his way toward the kitchen. He thumps twice on Sam’s door as he passes it, barking out a gruff hunt in response to Sam’s bleary huh? “Please tell me you’ve got some idea of how exactly Peppa’s gettin’ popped so we can try to do something about it.”

“I have no clue.”

“And you didn’t see anything else? Any details at all. A barn, a farmer, anything? Because this is…”

“Impossible. I know. But that’s all I’ve got. The pig just keels over, then bursts in a blinding flash of light, and ten seconds later Illinois has a brand new crater the size of New Jersey.”

“Okay, well — that’s something.”

“What?”

“The light. What color is it?”

“White, mostly,” Patience says, then hums a little to herself. “But… huh, actually, there is a bit of purple. Right in the center. Right before it goes supernova.”

“Purple light usually means witchcraft,” Dean says, approaching the kitchen. He can see the light on; can hear the telltale sound of Cas stirring sugar into coffee. “Maybe the pig is the final ingredient in some kind of magic bomb?”

“Could be,” Patience agrees. “But hey, listen, I gotta try and get a couple more hours sleep — huge test in the morning. But if anything else comes to me I’ll call you, okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good. And uh— thanks. And good luck.”

“You too.”

The line goes dead just as Dean steps into the kitchen, and Cas looks up at him from the table, where he’s reading an article in one of the Men of Letters’ old issues of The Farmer’s Almanac. He frowns at the sight of the phone in Dean’s hand. Frowns harder still when Dean heads directly for the coffee machine with nothing but a brief brush of a hand over his shoulder.

“Is something wrong?”

“It’s a day ending in Y,” Dean says with a sigh, pouring a cup from the thankfully still-hot jug. “You up for a road trip?”

“Of course. Where are we going?”

"Illinois," Dean tells him, leaning back against the counter as Sam arrives, his hair sticking so far out to one side that Dean suspects it’s generating its own electric charge.

He eyes it over his mug and has the grim thought that all that static electricity might be the thing to light Miss Piggy's fuse. Oblivious to Dean's train of thought, Sam lets out an explosive yawn. Dean bites back the kind of mildly-hysterical laugh that can only come when sleep-deprived and preparing to drive toward impending danger.

"What's in Illinois?" Cas prompts him, and Sam yawns again as he waves a hand for Dean to explain, and Dean takes a long sip of his coffee as he searches for a better way to put it than Patience had managed on her first try.

He's not sure that he succeeds where clarity of substance is concerned, but as far as style goes? He thinks he's nailed it.

“Short version? Royal rescue mission, but the Princess is a pig."

Cas squints at him.

“I think,” he says, looking over at Sam, who is blinking slowly as he tries to parse Dean’s words, “We’re going to need the long version.”

[written for this prompt game] [find me on ao3 as imogenbynight 💚]

[i-just-like-goats]

Gojo x Female Reader

Summary: Gojo's soulmate is an assassin sent to kill him

Warnings: choking, attempted murder, mentions of death

WC: 1.4k

Part 2

A/N: this is my 4th time posting this and I am so sorry. The first 3 were because of tags, this one is just cos I noticed an inconsistency in the original but tumblr wouldn't let me save my edits😭

The first time Gojo met you, he was sure he was in love.

There you were buying kikufuku, with that soft smile of yours. You captivated him in a way that no other woman had. How could he not fall in love?

And when you turned to look at him gawking at you, you smiled so brightly that Gojo's heart was immediately touched.

"Hello. Sorry, was I in your way?"

"Not at all,"

You smiled so sweetly and held his arm so gently when he offered to walk you home. Fushiguro and the finger would have to wait. He was so infatuated with every action you did that he only narrowly missed the knife you swung at his chest.

"This usually how you greet the men that walk you home?"

"Only for you love,"

Perhaps it was unwise for him to develop feelings for you when you were trying to kill him. Yet the way you were holding your own against his attacks and your raw beauty had him debating which side he was on. Maybe not to that extent, but you were definitely confusing him.

Which reminded him he needed to get back to Fushiguro. He'd definitely be scolded by his student.

"As much as I'd love to continue seeing your beautiful face, I've got somewhere to be. See you!"

"Hey!"

The second time you met Gojo, he almost didn't recognise you. Your disguise was impeccable. Even people who had known you for years couldn't recognise you whenever you put this disguise on. Yet he somehow managed to call out to you in that cheerful voice.

"Hey! Fancy seeing you here!"

You grimaced at his loud voice. Must he draw attention to the both of you in this way? You forced a smile and poured him his glass of wine he had ordered.

"Your red wine sir." You smiled.

"Come on now. No need to be so formal with me. We're so-"

One waiter had tripped and knocked Gojo's elbow, causing his wine to spill over his front.

"I apologise for my incompetence sir! I accept any punishment you see fit!"

"It's quite alright. This jacket is dark, so the stain won't be visible and it was in need of a wash anyway,"

The waiter bowed deeply and continued apologising profusely while you groaned and glared daggers at your coworker. Your last batch of poison had been in that glass of wine. The next shipment of ingredients for your poison wouldn't be until next month. What a drag this mission was.

"Say, why don't we catch up once your shift is over? I'll wait for you,"

A perfect opportunity. You smiled again.

"Of course,"

Hours passed and true to his word, Gojo had remained sitting at his table until it was closing time. Your manager had him wait outside for you while the restaurant was cleaned, providing you with an opportunity to surprise him.

You leapt deftly onto Gojo's back, wrapped your arms around his neck.

"What a nice sur-"

And attempted to choke him. He struggled in your grip.

"How cute! What a beautiful couple! Would you mind if I took a photo of the two of you?"

You immediately stopped choking him. You ground your teeth but smiled nonetheless. Gojo took several deep breaths

"I don't mind, do you honey?"

"No, of course not love,"

"You might want to loosen up, your boyfriend there looked like he was struggling to breathe,"

"That was the point," You muttered.

Gojo chuckled and posed for the photo.

"Great! Thank you!"

With that, the person walked off content with the photo. You began to constrict his air supply again, but he flipped you onto the ground over his shoulder. With a groan, you sat up and rubbed your back.

"Was that necessary?"

"A bit of payback for the second attempt on my life,"

"Alright. Well I'll be off then,"

"Leaving already?"

"Can't have you knowing where I live, otherwise you'd annoy me every day,"

"I would never,"

Gojo watched as you threw something at the ground, then stepped through the mist it created and vanished.

"Always coming but never staying. How cruel. Soulmate. I don't even know your name,"

The third time Gojo met you, he knew he would risk it all for you. Whatever side you were on no longer mattered to him. Had you been on the side of the sorcerers, perhaps things would have been much easier.

"Soulmate! Are you hurt?"

"Oh no, I'm perfectly fine thank you. The curse bit me, which took a chunk out of my leg and it doesn't hurt at all. I'm enjoying the pain so very much you idiot,"

"Alright alright I get it. No need to be so moody soulmate,"

"Stop calling me your soulmate,"

"Why? Don't you know that the red string wrapped around our fingers means we're soulmates?"

"I know what soulmates are stupid,"

Gojo pouted, "Why aren't you calling me love anymore?"

"Because I'm no longer trying to seduce you. I just need to kill you,"

"So blunt. But you don't need to kill me since you've been fired,"

"What are you doing?"

Gojo made no answer and hovered his hand up and down your leg, assessing the damage.

"Hey this isn't funny. I didn't consent to this. Ow!"

You clenched your jaw tightly as a burning sensation erupted from where Gojo placed his hand on your leg.

"There. Wasn't so bad now was it soulmate?"

"I told you to stop calling me that,"

"I can't, unless I know your name,"

"I'm not giving it,"

"Well then sucks to be you, I'm still calling you soulmate because that's what you are,"

You muttered angrily under your breath and exhaled.

"I severely dislike you because I find you insufferable and I don't know how on earth we came to be soulmates, but thank you, for healing me,"

"How did you even get hurt?" He asked softly.

"I haven't been able to kill you. It's harming my reputation and my employer's reputation, so I guess they decided I wasn't worth keeping around anymore if I couldn't kill one man and they sent me on a suicide mission. I exorcised the curse's buddy but it's still out there,"

"Why don't you and I hunt the curse down?"

"Sure, not like I have really much else to lose anyway,"

Needless to say, you got your revenge on the curse and its owner. By the end of it, both had been in tears before you exorcised the curse and turned in its owner.

"Good thinking there. You kept us out of trouble by letting him hit you first,"

"I'm an assassin Gojo, it's only natural that I know how to get myself out of situations,"

"Right. So, want to continue our date?"

"No,"

"Come on. I'm no longer the enemy am I?"

"I may no longer be required to kill you, but like I said before: I severely dislike you,"

"Bit harsh," Gojo ran to catch up with your walking figure, "At least let me feed you tonight and make sure you've got a job,"

"Fine,"

"Great!"

You slumped into the seat across from Gojo and plugged in your earphones as Gojo ordered something for the two of you to eat.

"So why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you. I just said severely dislike,"

"Alright, so why do you severely dislike me?"

"Because you're hard to kill,"

"Is that it? Shouldn't be too hard to get you to like me. You lost your job because of me, so all I need to do is get you a new job. How would you like to teach at Jujutsu Tech. I saw your physical capabilities, such little cursed energy but your fighting is remarkable. The students, Maki in particular, would benefit greatly from your expertise,"

"And you still try to help and befriend me even after I tried to kill you. Twice. You're not mad? Not even in the slightest?"

"A bit annoyed, definitely, but the determination wins,"

You took a sip from your drink, deep in thought. How could he be so kind to you after all you put him through?

"Determination to do what?"

"To at least get a friend out of this,"

He lifted his right hand, gesturing to his pinky.

"We're soulmates for a reason, we're not destined to hate each other, so I want to see if we can make this work, but baby steps. So please consider taking the job,"

"Alright, I'll teach the young sorcerers at Jujutsu Tech. Just know that I'm only doing this because I need to financially sustain myself somehow,"

"Excellent!"

Gojo shook your hand enthusiastically.

"Can't wait to teach alongside my new co-worker!"

You buried your face into your hands and groaned. There's no way he'd let you back out now that you agreed. This year would be an interesting one that's for sure.

[andromeda-galaxy2877]

Okay this has been driving me CRAZY since I watched the movie almost two years ago so I gotta talk about this. I haven’t personally seen anyone make a post about it but I did see this in a fanfic once (I unfortunately forget the name) which just fueled the fire for how crazy this drives me, so here you go!

I know people love the idea that Leo was in the Prison Dimension longer, that maybe the dimension’s time works differently than it does on Earth. That is insanely creative and really cool to see, the Prison Dimension has so much potential to be explored but…what if it was even more plausible that Leo was in there longer? But it had nothing to do with the dimension itself or its properties?

So at the beginning of the movie, we see Future Mikey make a time gateway into the past to the day the Key got stolen, right? He stretches out his arms, and rips that hole in the fabric of time and space, and sends Casey to the past. And then, y’know, explodes, but that's besides the point.

What does Mikey do to save Leo from the Prison Dimension?

He does the exact same pose, the exact same technique. Of course this was probably just done for the parallel, but…what if Mikey can’t open regular portals?

What if that was another time gateway?

Obviously it couldn’t have been as much time as Future Mikey did, since Leo didn’t look any older. So what if he was in there for just a few extra minutes? A few extra hours? Maybe a few extra weeks, or even a few extra months?

None of them would have any idea. Only Leo would. If it were just a few extra minutes, no one would have any way of knowing. If it were a couple days or weeks, maybe Leo thought it took them awhile to actually get him out and didn’t realize it was the same day. (Sure he could’ve figured it out from the scenery after getting out, but like. He got beat up pretty bad, he could’ve been too out of it to realize)

It doesn’t really make sense to me either to have Mikey be able to make portals like Leo does. I adore Mikey, he is INSANELY powerful and I love all his crazy abilities, but Leo’s like. One thing is that he can make portals and teleport. It feels strange to me to have Mikey also have that. Like it’s cool, but at the same time it would be the EXACT same power then. 

So, in other words for all of this, oh my god I cannot wait till I’m done writing my current fanfic and can move on to the next one. 

[canonicallysoulmates]

J2 Main Panel Charlotte 2023

I put this psa in the post for the Gold panel but I know some see one post and not the other so before we get into this panel quick psa that this con took place while the actor's union, SAG-AFTRA, is on strike. This means the boys cannot directly name any past, present, or future projects. For the sake of clarity I will be mentioning projects the boys are referring to by name but please be aware that the boys themselves did not do that they complied with strike regulations.

They had date nights! Jared said that they got to walk around a little bit on this day, as well as on Saturday and Friday they got some dinner ❤️

Jensen says he has some stories to share, and before the questions start he tells one of them; a few months ago D went to a charity auction thing in Austin, and she bid on a race car experience at the Circuit of the Americas track where he would get to ride shotgun in an actual racecar and get driven around the track a couple of times. As well as get to drive an exotic car himself around the track. She gave this to him as a gift, and at first he thought it sounded fun except when he asked her when it was she told him it was at 7am on a Saturday so he was not happy. He asked her if they (she and the kids) were gonna go and watch him and she replied no they were gonna sleep so he was like whatever, he got up super early, went to the track and he's looking around and the people at the track go over everything, they tell him to go downstairs to see who his driver will be and then he can meet them out on the track. He goes and looks at the chart and at first he thinks what he's reading is a joke but it wasn't his car was pink with a rainbow unicorn on the hood, and they name their cars, his was called sparkles glitter hooves which it had written on the side.

So he meets the nice lady who's gonna be driving him and he could tell she didn't want to be there that early either but she runs him through the whole thing, he gets in the car it was a big race car a McLaren, and they get to the track and take off do a few turns and they're not going that fast but he thinks maybe she's just warming up. They get to a section of track that's a straightway, it's over a mile long he thinks this is when she's gonna pick up speed, and she tried but the car was not accelerating like it's supposed to they got to about 50 mph and she tells him that something's wrong with the car and he's like "you think?" by that point they were already pretty far into the track so they have to limp back cause there's like engine failure. They roll in and she does offer to find him another driver but he says not to worry about it that it's okay thanks, gets in his car and goes home. Like an hour and a half later he gets a text saying his car was ready to get driven around and he deleted it, it was not a grand experience and he wishes he had just stayed in bed. Poor Jensen 🏎️

I do find it cute, however, that Jared says that if someone knows somebody who can take Jensen around the Charlotte motor speedway to leave them a card and show him some speed.

Question time!

Do they have a story about an embarrassing or ridiculous injury?

Jared says all of his injuries are ridiculous and embarrassing. For example he ripped his pants on camera for all to see once; also he pulls his back a lot and not doing really cool things like deadlifts or saving his children from a bus but by bending over and picking up a pair of socks in the morning. It literally happened one time when filming SPN (he says when working together on something in Canada) he got to work and said he pulled his back out that morning and Jensen asked him if it was from working out too early. And he told him no, that it was from grabbing some socks from his suitcase. And Jensen was like "grabbing some sock? were they lead socks?" and Jared replied like "no, they were regular socks they had some holes so they were lighter than usual." 😂 That and also tweaking his neck when drying his hair when it was luscious.

Jensen says he hurt his hand the other day while he was putting some stuff away in a hall closet. It's one of those closets that has double doors but the hinges are really tight so you have to shut them both together otherwise it won't close and as he was doing so he pushed on the seem and it pinched his palm and it was so hard that he yanked out his hand and left part of his palm in the door. And you can still see where his palm got pinched.

Related to that a few days ago he walked into his daughter's room and she heard him coming and was running away from the door but slipped and fell and when he opened the door she was on the ground and he asked her if she had fallen but she was like no but it was obvious that she had cause she was rubbing her elbow and her hip so he told her he thought she did and asked if she wanted him to hold her so he gave her a hug, flashforward to when this happened to his palm and he hears behind him "do you want me to hold you?"

He told her no and that he needed for her to go to mommy for some gauze and tape but they didn't have any then he remembered that when he had been going through a box of stuff he had seen a post-production s8 gift from Phil Sgriccia who would send them funny gifts and it was a little survival kit pouch so he figured it would have some bandages he could use till he could go to the store but it was salt, matches and a little thing of Holy Water.

Jared makes a dad joke about how this is why he leaves his doors slightly open so it's not longer a door it's a jar. That's actually pretty clever, that got a chuckle out of me. x

Keegan is there and Jensen asks him if he puts up with those jokes, he replies yes but that they're great....and that Jared's also his boss and he's the most amazing guy ever 😂

Keegan, asks a question, in the last year what have they done in their life that made it 10% better?

Jensen answers make the bed first thing in the morning. He didn't use to do that, he would maybe get around to it, sometimes he wouldn't go back to the bedroom until the afternoon and see it still unmade so now he gets up and makes the bed. Then I guess he remembers he's supposed to be married and he adds he has to kick his wife out of the bed first and then make the bed.

Jared quips that he's tried to get rid of some of his perfectionist inclines so one of the things he likes to do is not worry about whether or not his bed is made but seriously, he will not get on his phone when he's on his bed even if he wants to return a text message he won't do it on the bed, he will force himself to get out of it, and then reply. Jensen demonstrates what this would look like 😆

Jared says that truth be told he had the problem of if it was the middle of the night and he woke up and looked at his phone to check the time he would basically end up mindless scrolling, he would check the news, he would check ESPN, he would be more awake so he would go to youtube and then an hour would pass so if it's not important enough for him to leave the bed to do it then he just leaves his phone on the nightstand. x

If they were forced would they rather have the other's face for a butt or their butt for a face?

Jared saysJensen's butt grows better facial hair than his face and Jensen asks him how he would know that and Jared freezes and literally goes "do I answer that?" No need to Jared, we know 😏

So he goes for Jensen's butt for a face and says he could shave something to make it funny or like a heart. A heart, Jared? You want to have Jensen's ass as your face and shave a little heart on it?

Jensen answers Jared's face for a butt cause he could cover it up with a pair fo pants and Jared says they better be see-through pants otherwise he'd be wasting a damn fine ass. Without missing a beat, Jensen goes "Jared, I don't know if you know this I already have a damn fine ass." Jensen we have established Jared knows a lot about your damn fine ass. 😉

Next question is mostly for Jared but Jensen can feel free to answer: when picking a spatula what is his preference wood, metal, plastic or rubber, and why?

He says you gotta go wood because you can control the whip a little better. That when you're making an omelette sometimes it gets a little aggressive and flings a bit too much- at this point Jensen cuts in and asks him when he's ever made an omelette and Jared jokingly says on an online game from his phone.

Anywyas, Jensen says you don't do wood because you have to hand wash it, and you don't go metal either cause that'll scratch up your pan, you want a hard plastic they're dishwasher safe and not mess up your pan. x

What's their favorite inexpensive brand for whiskey or bourbon?

Jensen says Four Roses makes a pretty good inexpensive whiskey. Jared agrees and also mentions what I think is Diageo - I listened to the clip a bunch of times but it's difficult for me to understand what he says - which is actually a company that owns a large amount of the brands. Jared also says he used to prefer scotch to bourbon but now he prefers bourbon to scotch he thinks he likes a little bit of that sweetness these days.

Jared asks the fan which they like and the fan answers Jack Daniels. Jensen mentions that Jack Daniels is the only brand Robert Singer drinks. x

Any advice for senior year and life in general?

Jensen says he'll give senior year advice and Jared will give the life advice. Senior year advice do as much as you can, sign up for a different club, go play a different sport, try a different instrument whatever it is you're into do as much of it as possible because this is it. You're not gonna have High School again, part of the reason he's on that stage today is because he did just that, in his senior year he was playing baseball but he left the team early to do a play. If he had just stuck with what he had been doing the past couple of years he probably wouldn't have gotten on a stage and been "discovered" so try to do as much as you can and try to get as much as you can out of the year, you'll most likely be glad that you did.

Jared's life advice is similar, he says kinda do what Jensen said for the rest of your life. He remembers when he was a senior something was so scary about it because it was the finale of him knowing what to do with his life but the day after you graduate you wake up and you'll still be you and see there's something else for you to do so don't get overwhelmed by the seeming closure and finale of it just remember this is just a year in your life and if you're as fortunate as they were able to be where High School was four years of their 40-something year lives, you have your next 4 year growth cycle, your next 2 year growth cycle so this is just part of your life. Your life is not about to end it's about to begin. There's something strange and really scary but it should be scary if you feel some fear or trepidation about school being over that's okay but a year from now you're going to be in your next phase of your life. Somethings might look different especially if you follow as Jensen says and keep expanding your horizons, a lot of things will look the same but you'll still be you so keep your eyes on the future. x

If they were Earth embassadors to aliens what would they tell them, and what would they show them?

After joking around about face/butt, Jared says he thinks he would have more questions to ask than answers to give. He would probably try and communicate they mean them no harm, and he thinks he would show them a young child, be like we mean you no harm, and look how cool life can be- Jensen says here take this one, it's okay I got two more, and Jared says I have three that you can have 🤣

But no, he thinks becoming a parent is such a cool promise like seeing a baby or seeing a young child and thinking they have their whole life in front of them, they're gonna be going to their senior year, they're gonna fall in love, maybe they'll have kids of their own it's how wonderful life can be down here so please don't destroy us.

Jensen concurs that showing them the best part of humanity probably the smart way of doing things. x

If they could choose anywhere to live other than where they grew up, or where they live now where would it be?

Jared replies he has a soft spot for Italy. He loves Italy so if he were to choose somewhere international it would be there, if he was gonna choose somewhere in the states he really likes the mountains a lot. Someone in the crowd shouts Virginia and he says Virginia is awesome. Jensen asks if just mountains, and Jared replies yeah, and then gives as an example Sun Valley in Idaho where he got married, says G's family still lives there and they go visit. He says the older he becomes the less he can deal with the 100 degree hot weather in the city so somewhere cooler. He likes North Carolina too, they have a friend who lives in town and he has a place about 20 mins away from where the con is taking place and it's great no bugs, no sweat, beautiful. The crowd is shocked by the no bugs comment, and Jared says he didn't have any bugs do they have bugs and the crowd collectively says yes so he says he doesn't like Nort Carolina that much, he likes it less now 😂

Jensen doesn't know, he says he thinks he's pretty happy where he is.

Interesting answer coming from you at this period if time sir, where exactly is it that you're happy cause door was wide open to mention Connecticut and yet.....x

The next fan is from London and y'all know Jared had to do some accents, I laughed so hard with "Wales" accent 🤣🐳

Is there a book that they have recently re-read, or a book that they have connected to so much that they would want to re-read it?

Jared says his oldest son is entering the 6th grade so he is reading some more advanced books that Jared too would enjoy compared to the stuff from kindergarden or 1st grade. For example he just read Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief and this year in his curriculum is The Outsiders which Jared hasn't read since before getting to know and become friends with S. E. Hinton, and he actually reached out to her to say hey and told her his kid would be reading the Outsiders for school and she replied to let him know the school and she'd send over a signed copy. So he's excited to re-read that its been a while, he did not read Percy Jackson with his kid but he would discuss the book with him. And that's part of his summer homework to read the book and be able to tell not just what happens in the story but also what it parallels to and themes it explores, but he's really exited to read the Outsiders again.

Jensen says he's not much of a reader but D is an avid reader and a book he sees her pick up again and again is A Confederacy of Dunces. x

When will fans get to meet the two luckiest women in the world, their wives? 🙄

Jensen says the wives might disagree with the fan calling them the luckiest women. He says he thinks they would do a con but that he thinks they find it kind of like it's the boys thing and they don't want to encroach. Jared adds that furthermore and he's pretty sure Jensen feels the same, and he says it sometimes kind of like a joke but he also means it who's gonna watch the kids? That he and G do trips just themselves but they'll try as best as they can to have one of the parents around just be a tether for the kids as best they can. That it's just hard to know that far in advance for them to plan. Doing cons is something he and Jensen love doing and the wives can hold down the fort. x

I am more than happy about the wives not doing CE cons but these are such obvious lies. Both D and G have done cons with the boys before so they clearly don't think of doing cons as the boys thing, G was even a last minute guest at JIB. The whole "who's gonna watch the kids thing?" for starters sir we all know you got nannies and even if you didn't you can afford one but more than that that question and the whole wanting one parent to be around thing has not been an impediment in G attending non-CE cons with him. Including in Europe. But really the most hilarious part is Jared saying that it's hard for the wives to know that far in advance for them to plan when, two recent examples, FanX isn't till September yet G had already signed up for it in July and if you're thinking that's just two months in advance Infinity con in Germany is in May 2024 and she was announced as a guest earlier this month.

Instead of lying and coming up with cheap excuses these men need to grow a pair and admit they don't actually want the wives at CE cons.

Last question, what was their favorite video game growing up?

Jared says if the aliens came to Earth and said they were gonna mess humanity up unless one of the Earthlings can beat them in a video game he would be like okay and say Smash Brothers for Nintendo '64. Jensen says Golden Eye. Jensen also brings up the theory that Mario's cathphrase "It's me, Mario" is actually him saying itsumi in Japanese which means super so what he's saying is super Mario, and he does say he doesn't know if that's true or not it's something he saw online. It's not! It was something that made the rounds on tiktok but it's not legit, it's actually a form of a dad joke. Itsumi is not even a word in Japanese it's a surname.

What Jared says about Mario being named after Nintendo's landlord is partially true, they didn't do it because he let them live somewhere for free, they did it because the employees at the warehouse which is what he was renting to the company thought he resembled Mario so they nicknamed the character Mario and then the creator Miyamoto found out about it and he liked it so he decided to make it the official name. Real Mario's name was Mario Segale.

J2 Main Panel Charlotte

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for returning a dog after only a couple days of owning him?

Some context, my partner (I'll call him Greg, 24m) and I (21 he/she) came to an agreement 3 months ago. The agreement was that if I got myself out of a depressive slump that had been straining our relationship for the past couple years, he'd get me a dog. I was overjoyed at this because I've wanted a dog ever since I was a kid, and it was probably the best motivation he could give.

I'm proud to say that I made a lot of progress, and I'm doing much better now. So, as promised, Greg agreed that I could get the dog. Maybe a little under a week after that, Greg found an adorable little chihuahua/dachshund mix online and we both excitedly prepared to adopt him. We arranged to meet him almost immediately, and he was adopted within 2 days.

I will admit, after Greg agreed to get the dog, I was having some doubts. I knew dogs were a lot of work and I didn't think we were ready to take on such a big responsibility, especially since we already had two cats to take care of. Greg was just so excited to find a dog for me, and I agreed to adopt the dog, but only because I couldnt think fast enough to stop and discuss my concerns. I was under the impression that this was what I wanted, so my doubts could just be chalked up to "new pet anxiety", so my brain went on autopilot and said "yes".

He was a perfect little guy, well behaved save for some anxiety, didn't bark at all, house trained, just a super sweet dog. However, it soon became apparent to us that he was SO much more work to take care of than we anticipated. We had to keep an eye on him all the time so he wouldn't chew or eat anything he wasn't supposed to, plus he had separation anxiety so he had to be in the same room as us at all times. One of our cats hated him, so we had to be sure the two of them were separated. Playing with him and walking him was easy and fun, but we had to do it every couple hours because chiweenies are a very energetic breed.

There was no time for me and Greg to have time to ourselves and each other, and the stress built up and I started to get cranky at little things. I even lashed out at Greg once, which is exactly something I had tried to work on during those 3 months. To add onto all this, a huge storm hit us and our living room flooded, and we're still in the process of undoing the damage. The stress since adopting him went on for a total of 4 days, but it felt like so much longer. I haven't cried so hard for so long in a really long time. Somewhere in that time I had made my doubts about adopting him known, which I still feel stupid for admitting them too late.

Greg says he feels incredibly guilty for the whole situation since he's the one who was so quick to pick out and adopt the dog. I said it was fine, and I should have forced myself to express my doubts earlier despite whatever anxieties were in the way. He said he had just wanted to give me something I'd always wanted and assumed that everything would be fine.

I want to make it clear that we're well aware that this has nothing to do with the dog, nor do we hate him or mistreat him. We've been taking good care of him and he's been having the time of his tiny life with us so far, which is why I'm so reluctant to give him back to the shelter. Maybe we could be good dog owners, but on the other hand, all the stress haopened so quickly and forcefully, and it was too much to ignore. Sometimes I couldn't even be in the same room with the dog because it hurt too much.

Me and Greg are returning him to repair our relationship, focus on ourselves and get us in a stable place, financially. We figure giving him back to the shelter will give him a chance to go to a better, nicer home that's actually ready for him, but I can't shake the feeling that maybe I should've given him a chance. I feel like ultimately this was the right choice but at the same time, I'm super unsure about how we handled the whole thing. AITA? Should we have kept the dog?

What are these acronyms?

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Well, I’m back at home. Got home last night, slept. Go back to work tomorrow. Have today to unpack. Haven’t yet. Things are all over the place. Here are some things I'm writing down instead of sorting that out.

I’m not quite as sad as I’d expected to be today, though I’d expected to be very sad. I realize there were unhealthy sides to basing such a large percentage of my emotional energy for the past year around planning/anticipating/preparing for one two-week trip. It occurred to me in about April just how sad I was going to be once it was over, and then I started feeling anxious about how difficult the end of it would be, which is a particularly impressive feat of anxiety.

Makes me think of one of the more relatable bits from an old Nish Kumar show, I think Ruminations on the Nature of Subjectivity from 2014, when he described a vacation he took with his girlfriend where, while experiencing a particularly special and happy moment, he interrupted it with the thought, “This will be the memory I look back on sadly after we break up.” This is obviously not the same situation, but I always think of that Nish Kumar bit when I manage to find some wildly ridiculous way for my anxiety to get in the way of good things, like sitting around in April, feeling anxious about how sad I’ll be on August 11th when my trip that won’t happen for months is over (obviously, my brain’s feats of impressive anxiety do include having spent lots of nice moments with my now-ex-girlfriend thinking “this will be what I’m sad about when we break up”, which is why I initially connected with that routine, but I’ve since expanded to thinking of that routine during any convoluted mental gymnastics that snatch anxiety from the jaws of happiness).

Possibly because I have been prepared for this for months, it’s not as bad as it could be. It was worse a couple of days ago. On Thursday, my last day in Edinburgh, I got very sad about all of this being over. I only had four shows booked and I’d been planning to fill in the gaps with at least one more, maybe two more, as during the rest of the week I was doing 6 or 7 events per day. I was deciding between adding Ray O’Leary or Melanie Bracewell (given that I ended up seeing zero Kiwis all week), looking at a few of the free ones to slot in earlier as well. And I didn’t end up doing that, because I didn’t really feel up to it. Instead, during the three-hour break between Mark Watson and David O’Doherty, I just walked down to the seaside and stared at the ocean for a while. Which was actually a pretty good use of my time and I got briefly overwhelmed by the idea that I’ve spent so many of the best hours of my life staring at the Atlantic Ocean from Nova Scotia on Canada’s East Coast and now I’m seeing the same ocean from the other side (I mean, not really because this was the East of Scotland so it doesn’t face the same way, the only time I could really accurately say that was when I took the trains to Mallaig the week before and saw the ocean from there, but it’s the same general idea), and that was pretty cool. I haven’t seen an ocean in a year, I’m glad I took the opportunity to see an ocean for a bit.

I was sad that day, it’s a good thing I had a couple of the shows I’d been most looking forward to – Mark Watson and DO’D – saved for last, as that picked my mood up. I probably wasn’t in the right mindset for Seymour Mace, might have enjoyed him more earlier in the week. And then I ended on Mat Ewins, which was great fun. I said beforehand that I’d probably enjoy it less than otherwise because I’d made it follow an amazing show like David O’Doherty. But actually, it probably worked the other way. After spending an afternoon sadly starting at an ocean, David O’Doherty put on a show so great that it lifted my mood enough for me to be able to enjoy the extremely silly things that Mat Ewins put in front of me.

And then Friday and Saturday I was slightly less sad because I got back to London and enjoyed spending time with the people I knew and liked there, and it’s harder to get locked in objectively ridiculous feats of anxiety when you’re doing that. Again, feel odd writing this as my friend in London reads this, which I rarely actually remember unless 1) I reference him in a post and realize he’ll probably see it, or 2) he messages me after I’ve posted something with a reference to it and I always have a split-second moment of thinking “How do you know about that?” before I remember. I’m usually surprised by how fast he can do this after a post goes up; I learned yesterday that this is because he has an alert on his phone that gives him a notification when I post, which makes me cringe as I think of all the incoherent posts I’ve made when overly emotional in the middle of the night, and then deleted them in the morning thinking “It’s fine, it wasn’t up for long, no one saw that.” I am, at this point in this specific post, not writing for any purpose besides saying… I guess it’s cool if you saw all that shit and still wanted to hang out with me, but sorry for all the overly personal stuff I post in the middle of night and thought I was getting away with deleting within a few hours.

All that to say, I’m not feeling as bad today as I’d expected. For the last year, thinking about preparing for my trip has been pretty much the only thing motivating me to get out of bed in the morning, and I was worried about losing that motivation for obvious reasons. But I also feel like I got a look at how life can actually be a good thing, and I still feel motivated to try to make my life better. Preferably with a view to go back to the UK next year, but I’m hoping to make some changes before starting on specific plans for that, because I do think it may have held me back this year that I was wrapping everything around that one trip. Namely that once I got the time off work granted from my current job, I couldn’t apply to anything else (besides school jobs that have summers off) in case they wouldn’t give me the same time off. Now that I don’t have anything like that in the way, I want to start seriously trying to look for better stuff.

But God, do I ever want to go back to the Edinburgh Festival next year. And trying the coaching thing to see if it goes any better now that my life is slightly more stable, and my mental health is… incredibly, I think it right now it might be the best it’s been in a very long time. Which seems odd because it’s definitely not good, but I’ve been working a fulltime job for a year that requires being around people all day, and while I’ve found it anxiety-inducing and exhausting, I haven’t actually collapsed at work and lost my job. And then I did a two-week trip with lots going on every day, and there were a couple of days where I got very overwhelmed by all the people in the small spaces and the heat in London tourist areas and did nearly have a panic attack on the sidewalk until I was able to go hide in a pub. But the point is that I only nearly did that. For me, I take it as a win if I’m able to get through something while seeing like a person who gets very anxious but is basically functional in society, as opposed to my brain just shutting down and I’m unable to do it at all. I think the fact that I’ve been able to do a year of fulltime work where I constantly interact with people, and the vacation I just did with so much going on, and be mostly the former and not the latter, means I am probably the most mentally healthy I’ve ever been. Possibly in a position to further get my life together.

I mean, my brain did shut down a couple of times during that trip. Before I left, I posted that video from ACMS in Edinburgh 2019, where Alice Fraser is compering and says, “If Daniel Kitson were here, I’d be trying a lot harder.” I joked that that line is always true, I should get it tattooed on my forearm. I’m afraid I have to take that back now. Having actually been in Daniel Kitson’s presence, on two separate nights, I can confirm that it turns out if Daniel Kitson were here, I’d be having a panic attack. So it’s probably good that he’s usually not.

But basically, I’d worried that the day I get home I’d feel like I’d lost the only thing I had to look forward to, and I don’t really feel like that. I feel like I got a look at how it feels to be happy, and I’m sort of functional enough to try to create a situation where I can have more things like that. Also, I have a lot of comedy admin to do now that I’m home. Which sounds like a joke but I quite enjoy that, so you know, there’s that to look forward to. Andy Zaltzman’s on Taskmaster soon. That’ll be good.

I’m pretty sure I did 35 live events in the two week trip, most concentrated in the five days I spent in Edinburgh. It wasn’t quite as many as I’d planned – I skipped the two podcast recordings I’d booked, because I found myself panicking that I’d seen Nish Kumar too much and I think when I saw him in Edinburgh he may have recognized me from his preview in London and I decided it wasn’t worth the anxiety of worrying whether I’m doing something wrong to see him two more times (I said I’m more mentally healthy right now than I’ve been in a very long time – but I cannot stress enough how low that bar is). And I didn’t end up filling in the gaps in my schedule on Thursday, even though I’d under-booked that day for the express purpose of having room to add stuff. But besides that, I got to pretty much everything I’d planned.

I used the awkwardly broad term “live events” so I can count the night in Edinburgh that I went to Ceilidh dancing, which I almost skipped out of nervousness but I’m really glad I went. I also saw two Scottish trad music shows, which were great. The rest was comedy. One mixed-bill night when I went to ACMS. I saw one thing that qualifies as a play, Natalie Palamides, though it was definitely also comedy. I saw Sheeps do a sketch show, Johnny & the Baptists were a musical comedy duo, other than that it was all solo hours. I meant to get out of my comfort zone, comedy-wise, with this trip, and I definitely did a little bit, but could certainly have done more of that.

I’d like to, next time. I’d like there to be a next time, for a start. But I love the idea of having more time in Edinburgh. Spend maybe six days seeing all the stuff I’d researched beforehand and I know that I like. Then spend a few days going to clown shows that are highly rated and supposed to be very good, but far outside my usual wheelhouse (I did one of those this year, Natalie Palamides, and had a great time). Then spend a few days going to shows that are free, that are debut hours, that have wild premises by unknown performers, that are described as improv, that have a audiences of five people. Just wander into things based on who hands me a flyer. I am about 90% joking, and 10% serious, when I say I keep hearing about how part of the experience with the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is you’ll see some things that are shit, and I feel like I missed out on getting the full experience because I didn’t see anything that was shit. I didn’t have time to see shit things, I had five days and needed to use them all to make sure I took my very rare opportunity to see great comedy live. But if I went back for more time, I’d go see some things that are shit. You know, for balance.

I don’t think I stuck entirely to really famous performers. I only saw two Taskmaster contestants (from any version of the show – I saw a bunch of Aussie comedians, none who’ve done Aussie Taskmaster, though I’d like to see all those people on Aussie Taskmaster), and by coincidence they happened to have been on a team together when they did that show. Team Wumar is truly the greatest in Taskmaster history. I saw a few people in big rooms – Natalie Palamides in the Traverse Theatre with a capacity of 270. David O’Doherty did the Gordon Aikman Theatre, with a capacity of 481, sold out the night I saw it. He’s doing a full run of about 25 shows, I’ve just checked and he’s sold out a few other upcoming nights too. Good for him. I saw Kiri Pritchard-McLean in Pleasance One, with a capacity of 299. And I saw Susie McCabe in Assembly George Square Studio Three, with a capacity of 250. I saw Jordan Brookes in the Queen Dome, with a capacity of 174. Sheeps were at the Pleasance Two with room for 158 people. I might start adding these capacity numbers to my spreadsheet, now that I’m looking them up. That’s fun.

But besides that, I think the rooms where I saw people were relatively small. Or they were in brick-walled basements, so they felt pretty small, whether they really were or not. Including the two Taskmaster contestants – Nish Kumar and Mark Watson were both doing works in progress, so they didn’t go big. Nish was in a Monkey Barrel basement with about 100 people. Mark was in a ludicrously small room – unbelievably small, I though I had the wrong spot at first – with, and I counted because I was able to count them all, 37 people. Every seat filled, there were 37 seats.

I only saw a few shows that went as small as that. Ones in the back rooms of pubs with a few rows of chairs thrown together. Aaron Simmonds, the guy with one show I liked on NextUp but few other credits to his name – he was in a bar with under 50. Caitriona Dowden, with even fewer credits and the closest thing I did to taking a “punt” on the unknown, it paid off great as I found her very enjoyable and hope I get to see more of her stuff – she had a similar setup, but in a gother, gayer bar. Jonny & the Baptists were in what seemed like a circus tent with room for a bunch more people but only about 20 people actually in. I saw Seymour Mace in the same room as Mark Watson, but the room wasn’t full for that one, so there were maybe 25 of us in the audience. Dan Rath played a room with a capacity of 115 but the vast majority of the room was empty the night I went and there couldn’t have been more than 40 people in there, I don’t know if I went on a particularly sparse night or he was overly optimistic in venue booking, I hope it’s the former because he was very good. Ed Night’s room was pretty small, but full the night I went. I hope he filled that room most nights because he’s good enough to deserve success and all, but also his material was perfectly suited to a cramped windowless basement with no more than 45 people in it, so I hope he doesn’t outgrow that too fast.

I now can’t quite remember why I started listing these, as the last couple of paragraphs have taken me a long time to write while I stop and Google venue capacities. I think I was trying to make the point that I didn’t take a lot of chances on unknown stuff, but properly famous people didn’t make up that high a percentage of what I saw either, a lot of it was in the middle. I guess it depends what your standards are. Nish Kumar was the only person I saw who’s name I could say to a non-comedy nerd in Canada and I’d think there was any chance they’d have heard of him. If I’m talking to someone whom I know is into that sort of thing, I’d expand that to Mark Watson, Kiri Pritchard-McLean, and maybe David O’Doherty. But by the standards of the Edinburgh “this is supposed to be about people who’ve not established any career at all playing to tiny audiences to try to break through” Fringe Festival, I went pretty mainstream. Would be fun if I went back with the time to do more.

Given the time constraints I had, though, I wouldn’t change anything. Some show I saw were better than others, but I don’t think a single was one was complete “miss” that I didn’t enjoy. I saw comedy every night I was in London, too. My top 2 favourite comedians in the world are Daniel Kitson and Nish Kumar, and I saw them twice each. Really can’t ask for more than that.

Also, I haven’t had alcohol in three weeks. Mostly. I had one beer the night before I left, so technically it’s only been two weeks. But I haven’t actually drank since the weekend before. Which I think is the longest I’ve gone staying away from alcohol since the first six weeks of this year. When I did dry January, extended into mid-February, and since then, have succeeded in significantly reducing my drinking. I have drank much, much less in 2024 than in any previous year since I was 19. I’ve kept to never more than once a week, sometimes only every two weeks, and had less throughout the night than I would have previously. That was my compromise, in that I wanted to try to stop drinking, but giving it up completely early in the year made me incredibly anxious and miserable (yes I am aware that that is a sign of a problem, that’s why I want to stop), I’ve found a compromise that lets me not have nearly as bad a problem as I used to but also not want to jump off a cliff the way I did when I gave it up altogether for a bit. But I’ve still been drinking, so three weeks without doing so is a long time for me. And there were times when I really, really wanted a beer (one with alcohol in it – I had bunch of alcohol-free Guiness while I was in the UK so I could enjoy pubs), mainly when I was overwhelmed by the stress and crowds and wanted something to take the edge off that. But I didn’t miss drinking in general, if that makes sense. I had specific times when I thought something difficult would be easier with alcohol, but I didn’t wish I had alcohol because it would make me like things more. Because I just liked what I was doing, even sober. I’ve never drank at comedy or music shows and I’ve never understood people who do – I drink to escape reality, while if I’ve chosen to go see something I like live, I’m in a situation where I’m enjoying reality and want to experience it fully. I felt that way for most of my trip. Reality was fun, I didn’t want to escape it (most of the time). That’s pretty good.

Worst things about my trip:

- Covent Garden, never go there, too many people

- St. Paul’s Cathedral and Westminster Cathedral – too many people for a tourist attraction where the bit that attracted me to it is I thought it might feel like magic

- The number of people on the streets in London in general

- Working out confusing London transit systems, particularly at busy times when you’re very conscious that people will get angry if you do anything wrong or take even one moment too long to figure it out

- The tube when it’s very crowded

- The heat in London, which is weird because it was still slightly cooler than at home, but I’m not outside in the sun all day at home

- This is not the fault of the UK, but I got blisters all over the bottom of one foot about two days, and walking was painful for the whole first week, by my last day in London I was just about limping, it recovered a bit when I spent two days on the train and was less bad, but still painful, in Edinburgh

- The flyerers that were all over Edinburgh weren’t a big problem most of the time – I basically sympathized with them doing an annoying job, and could just avoid their gaze so they wouldn’t approach me, mumble an awkward “no thank you”, or take a flyer and throw it out when I’d got far enough away – but when I was tired or stressed or in a hurry, even that low level of social navigation because fairly stressful just in the way that it was ever-present, and it added up

- Both nights that I saw Daniel Kitson, I got in my head in ways that I cannot remember without cringing

- That show I saw at the Soho Theatre wasn’t great, though it was still fucking cool just to be at the Soho Theatre

- Buckingham Palace guard changing: just Mounties but with more people surrounding them

- I like trains. I do not like airplanes. Did not enjoy the commute there or back.

- Navigating some of the crowded plazas and stuff in Edinburgh, where all the tables were taken and I didn’t know where to stand when I was on my own and I felt weird that everyone seemed to be there with people they knew and started feeling like being at school

Best things about my trip, not counting individual Edinburgh shows because I’ve already rated those in a different post:

- Seeing Daniel Kitson twice in London, no matter how awkward I was afterward, it’s an amazing show and I so enjoyed seeing it live

- Seeing the venues in person where my favourite comedy has taken place – the Bill Murray, ABC Comedy, and the Soho Theatre

- Also in London, Nish Kumar did a WIP of the best stand-up show I’ve ever seen, Desiree Burch did a WIP that I mostly enjoyed, Romesh Ranganathan did an hour that was too loose to even really call a “WIP” but it was great fun and I got very overexcited about being in the room with him

- Jesus fucking Christ is Edinburgh ever an incredibly beautiful city

- Crystal Palace not a tourist attraction, but very very pretty and I bought a book from a cool store and it was pretty much tied with the Taskmaster house as my highlight of the London tourist stuff

- Taskmaster house, and the surrounding areas, including the bandstands – fucking amazing to see in person

- St. James’ Park was beautiful

- Highgate Cemetery, I went mainly for the Douglas Adams grave but the whole place was lovely

- Cool old buildings in London, which I’ve been asked to stop insulting by comparing them to children’s fantasy novels, but they sure were old and majestic

- Getting to meet my friend in London in person, as well as wife who’s really cool and their lovely cats, that was actually way near the top in terms of the best parts of my trip, again it’s weird to go into when he can read it (even though I have clearly put my entire life on the internet already), but, you know, pretty socially alienated these days, pretty cool to have an in-person social connection that did not feel alienating, also those are the coolest people I could have possibly asked for, when meeting people on the internet

- One time during his show in London, Nish Kumar looked at me because of the way I laughed at one of his jokes and told me “You and me would get along”, and that was fucking excellent

- The trains rides between Glasgow and Mallaig are some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. The only scenery I’ve ever seen at all compare to that would be the Rocky Mountains in Western Canada, the time I road tripped through the South Island of NZ, and the Cabot Trail in Cape Breton. But the Glasgow-Mallaig trains rank with the very best of those, and are the only thing on this list that I got to experience via a train, which immediately makes it better than those other things. Fucking incredible.

- On that note: I was joking before I left that when I got to the UK, I’ll be like that autism stereotype of an 8-year-old white boy who’s obsessed with trains and gets to go to a train museum, but British comedians are my trains. This was true and I was very much like that with the comedians, but I did forget until got there that trains are also my trains. I loved the trains. The majestic trains through Scottish mountains and the trains the connected bits of London and the trains through the English countryside. I even liked the tube, when it wasn’t busy, it was so cool when it went through the tunnels. The only bit of transit I did not like were the very crowded tube journeys. Otherwise, it was great. I liked the train stations. I liked the platforms. I liked looked at the trains and tracks from the outside. I liked the train interiors and the views from the windows and the way they work. I liked “mind the gap”. It was great.

- I had some good full English breakfasts. Had some other good food. The day I got there we had a Sunday roast that was awesome. Had a few kebab things that I liked. In one pub in Fort William, I had some hake and seafood that was very good.

- Saw several old pubs that I enjoyed a lot, but have to particularly mention the Chesire Cheese in London, which is my favourite pub I’ve ever been to. A perfect place.

- Regent's Park

- Seriously, holy fucking hell, Edinburgh is the most beautiful city I’ve ever seen, and I mean that quite literally. Particularly at night, when it got less crowded and had lights on. It was like running around an… unnamed fantasy novel.

- Similarly fantasy novel experience – Cambridge University, which I found disappointing due to crowds until I paid 15 pounds to get to go into the St. John’s College grounds, where there were fewer people and it was so cool. I’m not even going to avoid saying it this time because that is the most Harry Potter building I have ever seen. Harry Potter lived in there, I’m pretty sure. And I got to walk around it and sit on the grass and feel like I was in a fantasy novel.

- It was cool as fuck just to have this type of stand-up comedy be a thing that people in real life around me are into, rather than it all existing on my phone and my laptop. I quite enjoyed just sitting in the Monkey Barrel bars and listening to the people talk about comedy. It’s a fine line, of course, because I enjoyed that when there was an empty table where I could easily sit. When the areas got so crowded that there were no free spots and I had to figure out where I’m supposed to stand, I immediately felt awkwardly like the kid at school with no friends again. I guess there’s a sweet spot in the middle.

- Actually the Monkey Barrel venues in general were cool, I just enjoyed being in those windowless brick-walled basements dedicated to comedy, the comedy show rooms and the bar areas.

- I hate crowds but the Royal Mile was pretty cool to look at, when I wasn’t trying to navigate it in a hurry. I also enjoyed seeing the comedian posters all over Edinburgh, even though I’m pretty sure those things are a colossal waste of money and I do find myself wondering if I can just ask about the environmental impact of all that printing. But it was funny when they wrote “fuckwit” over Matt Forde’s forehead every time. One time I saw that Matt Forde’s people had covered some “just stop oil” graffiti with a sticker bragging about 5 stars from the Daily Telegraph. That’ll show those people who hate him for being anti-leftist.

- I liked the pilgrimage to the Ruins of Cowgate.

Things that almost made me cry:

- Kiri Pritchard-McLean's show about the social care system, hitting all my soft spots about caring for at-risk youth despite not being their biological parent

- Nish Kumar nearly got me with a fairly emotional bit at the end of his show, though I'd heard that bit before and it doesn't usually make me feel like crying, so that was definitely influenced by me feeling so overwhelmed about being physically in a room with Nish Kumar

- Sarah Keyworth had some very emotional bits about family and acceptance

- Staring at the ocean and realizing this is the same ocean that I look at from Nova Scotia and it's just as beautiful from this side and we're all part of the same world and also I was very tired and sad about it being my last day in Edinburgh

- Very nearly cried from being overwhelmed with anxiety on the hot day in London streets being scared of getting in trouble for not knowing where I'm going on a crowded sidewalk, managed to escape into a pub and it was all right

- Eleanor Morton, in a show that started slowly, had some really powerful stuff near the end about fighting back against predators in a community she loves

Things that actually made me cry during my trip:

- Amazingly, the only thing that got literal tears out of me was the music show I want to, they played the song Caledonia, which used as the background music a few years ago to a video I made for my grandparents with pictures of their house by the ocean in rural Nova Scotia, where they'd lived my whole life and where I'd been visiting regularly my whole life and it's my favourite place to be, but my grandparents had to move to a care home a few years ago and we thought they'd have to sell the house, and before they moved I made this video to the song Caledonia so we could remember that place, but about a month ago my mother told me that they took the house off the market and have worked out how to keep it in the family for a few years at least, I was last there a year ago and made peace with never seeing it again but now I will, and anyway when they started playing Caledonia in that music show I did suddenly realize I was wiping away tears in a lecture theatre

All right, this post has gone for too long. Here are some pictures.

Of all the little Edinburgh post collections in Edinburgh, I think that last picture contained the most people I've heard of, though it's not hard to get a high rate of people I've heard of when three of them were Ivo Graham. I still think it's too bad that my time there didn't overlap with Angela Barnes.