#when i need to get my data looking presentable before 10 am

[extremelyblackandwhite]

pairing: dad!bucky barnes x au pair!reader

warnings: age gap (reader is 10 years younger than bucky), smut (18+, dni if under 18)

summary: bucky and y/n discuss sadie’s future.

masterlist

She couldn’t believe some asshole had spilled coffee all over her dress and hadn’t even apologised. What was she supposed to do now? She had an interview to attend with someone whose secretary had made him sound like someone who made the dad from Sound of Music seem like the most relaxed man to ever walk the Earth. Yet, here she was about to walk into an interview to be an au pair with coffee stains all over her only interview-appropriate dress. She really needed this job, her tenancy was running out on her home and every single home in New York seemed to be occupied and she was quickly running out of money. If she didn’t get this job, she would be sleeping in the university library, eating whatever free samples she could find in student fairs. 

She mentally prayed to whatever gods roamed the skies, hell, the universe - wherever God was - for this man not to notice her stained dress, although the moment she opened the door and the man’s eyes immediately went to the dark spot on her white dress, she knew her prayers went unanswered. 

       - Hi, I’m Y/N. - she extended her hand towards his, attempting to block the stain as if he hadn’t seen it already. The man, Sergeant Barnes, was taken aback by the motion, looking at her hand as if she had offered him an offensive comment rather than her hand. - Your secretary said you’d be expecting me.

He cleared his throat, not really saying or doing anything other than pointing to the chair in front of what she guessed was his desk. She looked down at her shoes like a petulant child, feeling like she wasn’t getting the job. They always say to make the best impression - something she was sure she had now failed. 

      - You’re studying at NYU ... - he started.

      - Columbia. - she corrected him. - I’m in grad school and I promise I usually don’t look like this. I was trying to get some coffee and this guy spilled his all over me. Blotting didn’t seem to work ...

      - I didn’t ask any of that, Miss Y/N. 

      - I know but if you were to call NYU and ask if I go there they wouldn’t know anything about me. I’m really involved in student life at Columbia, I am part of the school paper, I was top of my undergraduate class and I shadowed Dr. Hill’s during early childhood psychology research last year. I also babysat for most of my teenage years. 

      - I didn’t ask any of that but glad to know you’re a very good student. 

      - Your secretary said you’d also be interested in someone who could tutor your daughter later on and I tutored in high school and my sister only knows maths because I drilled it into her. - she chuckled, nervously but he remained still, looking at her with the best poker face he could muster. - Look, I know you already don’t like me because I have coffee all over myself but you have a 2 year old, right? You must know the feeling of someone throwing stuff at you, maybe not coffee but ink or cereal. 

     - My daughter threw her whole orange juice in my face. Twice.

     - Oh ...

     - She’s going through a phase. Terrible twos. 

PRESENT DAY

     - I told you so. - Y/N spoke from the living room as Bucky attempted to take the remaining spaghetti noodles from his hair. - You gave her the plate before the knife and fork. That’s just an invitation for her eating with your hands and beginning a food fight. 

     - Says the au pair who is currently not doing any au pair work. - he grabbed a clean tea towel, trying to soak up as much tomato sauce from his hair as he could before hopping on a shower. - What are you doing?

    - Have you forgotten I have a PhD to finish possibly in the next 2 years? Data wrangling. 

    - You know, I have data analysts ...

    - I know. - she interrupted him. - Details of your utter incompetence at coding languages do not interest me. 

    - In my defense, when I was your ...

    - You’re 10 years older than me. - she interrupted him once more, her glasses slightly sliding off the bridge of her nose. - Data science is relatively new but not that new. Go shower before you start growing tomatoes on your head. 

Bucky merely chuckled at the idea before taking to the shower. Soon Sadie would turn three and hopefully she would stop throwing every single item of food at him when cutlery wasn’t in place - though Y/N thought it was more likely she would continue to do so until she no longer found it funny. Bucky chose to be more positive, besides, he didn’t like thinking about the future. In two years he’d have to find someone to fill her shoes and he didn’t think it was possible to find someone as good as she was. 

On the other hand, Y/N seldom found herself with time to wonder about what life would look like after Sadie. She wanted to continue on working in academia and some of her tutors had suggested she become a junior lecturer at the university, however she preferred not do dwell on the future, specially when she still had to defend her thesis. She also didn’t want to think of not being able to see Sadie. She had become attached to her, she was proud of her achievements and to think she would just become a murky memory in the 2 year old’s brain made her heart hurt. 

    - You want something to eat? - Bucky returned from the bathroom, dressed in the loungewear which she did not dwell looking at due to the fact it made her an unhinged woman. 

    - We just had dinner. 

    - We’re grown ups. Don’t you want some ice cream? - he joked. - C’mon, I’ve hide some from Sadie. 

    - I have to finish this data analysis tonight, James. If I don’t, I might as well quit and become Columbia’s biggest disappointment. 

     - You think you will become Columbia’s biggest disappointment when Casey Affleck went there?

     - At least he finished his degree. - she looked up from her laptop. - I’m gonna have to move in with my parents. 

    - You can live with me and Sadie. I’d much rather you have the girl talks with her. 

    - Oh so I get to live here and have to have all the complicated talks with Sadie? 

    - Okay. I’ll have birds and the bees, you get puberty, bras, periods, boys, actually scratch that, no boys until she’s 35.

    - 35?

    - You’re right. 85. Actually, make sure she waits until I’m dead. 

    - Won’t be too long. - she joked. - Now stop distracting me. I have work to do and as far as I know you’ve only hired me to babysit Sadie and not you. 

Bucky sat next to her, his eyes wandering to what she was doing before wandering back. He considered himself a smart man, business savy, but Y/N was smart smart. The kind of smart women who could probably take his business from under him and he wouldn’t even notice.  

   - You’re getting Sadie tomorrow? I know you have work at Columbia in the morning so I’m dropping her off but I can’t pick her up. 

   - Yeah, it’s on the calendar. - she pointed to the fridge on the kitchen with a pinned up calendar. - Stop talking, you’re distracting me.

   - You know ... I can have my data team give you a hand. - she finally looked up from her laptop. - I’m sure one of the managers would be thrilled to get on my good side. 

   - I can do it myself. - she replied, returning back to look at her laptop as if he had offended her. 

    - I know, but you don’t have to. 

She gave him a split second look, a world of words and feelings in the bright eyes which he was used to seeing everyday, before going back to her laptop. Bucky sighed, not knowing how else to continue the conversation without further upsetting her. 

    - If you’re too busy at Columbia, we can discuss how many free days you get a week. 

    - I’m fine, Sergeant Barnes. 

    - I can take Sadie to the office for one of the weekdays and then you can do your work by yourself. 

    - I can handle my work, Sergeant Barnes. It’s fine. 

    - You look stressed, Y/N. I won’t take any of your pay if that’s what you’re worried about. C’mon, Y/N, you’re not gonna do any good work if you’re stressed. Please. 

She sighed, closing her laptop and stared at him. If she wasn’t staring at him as if he was the most unimpressive man alive, he would’ve high fived himself. Yet, the look on her face and the tears which were starting to pool in her eyes were sufficient to have him immediately forget any single sense of funniness about the situation. 

   - I am trying. - she sighed, hoping he hadn’t noticed the tears welling up, yet even the sigh came in interrupted breathes. - I really am trying and I can do it myself. 

    - Just because you can doesn’t mean you have to. I want to help you.

    - You hired me to help you not the other way around. - she shut her eyes, trying to somehow store the idea of her thesis away. - I’m just tired and overreacting. 

     - You can talk to me. - he moved his chair closer to hers. 

     - I just told you I’m tired and overreacting. It’s nothing special. - she rested her forehead on her hand. - Doing a PhD is hard work. 

     - I wouldn’t know. Didn’t do one. 

     - Maybe you should. You could become Dr. Sergeant Barnes. 

     - Too many achievements. - he joked. - I hope your academic vein rubs off on Sadie. I think she’s a pretty smart kid. 

     - She is but currently I think that she wants to be a ballerina. Although, last week she wanted to be an astronaut. 

      - No can do. No astronauting, I would miss her too much. 

      - What did you want to be when you were younger? - she questioned, a loving look gracing her features.

      - I wanted to be a super hero then I wanted to be an accountant. 

      - An accountant? - she chuckled. - No way. What kid wants to be an accountant?

     - My uncle was an accountant and I thought he was the coolest. What about you? Wait, let me guess. 

     - Go on. - she crossed her arms. 

     - A princess? 

     - Ugh, stereotypical much?

     - President Barbie? 

     - You’re joking but my parents bought me President Barbie when I was a kid, and Doctor Barbie as well. I didn’t like President Barbie’s outfit as much so I stuck to science. 

     - Always wanted to be a psychologist?

     - I am not a psychologist, Barnes. I am a scientist.

     - A psychologist scientist.

     - Stop. - she chuckled. - I’m sure Sadie will be fine. She takes after you.

     - She actually takes after her mother sometimes. - he shrugged. - Anna was really smart, bit feisty. Sadie reminds me of her sometimes. 

     - You never told me Sadie’s mum’s name. I thought her name would be something like Jessica or Melanie. 

     - Do you base your name assumptions on romcom villains?

     - Anna sounds like such a tame name. Not like someone who would just leave her child on her father’s doorstep. 

     - She never really wanted a kid. I don’t blame her too much either, she was really bright when we were together, anyway. I do hope that’s all that Sadie takes from her. 

     - She looks like you. - Y/N added. - Except for the reddish blonde hair, I’m guessing that’s Anna?

     - Actually, that’s from my mother. My mum’s grandmother had red hair, that’s why she’s spoiled rotten. 

     - You’re gonna do fine, Bucky. - she held his hand. - You’re a good dad and she’s gonna turn out just fine. 

     - You’re gonna do fine too, Y/N. I am looking forward to calling you Dr. Y/N. 

     - Dr. Y/N and Sergeant Barnes.

    - Dr. Y/N and Sergeant Barnes. - he bit the inside of his lip before smiling at her. - What a team.

    - Even though you hated me when you first met me. 

    - Whatever you say, Y/N. Whatever you say.

[tessa-liam]

Smoke and Mirrors

Smoke and Mirrors 

The Royal Romance Finale AU 

Series premise: Hidden in the shadows, poised to challenge the status quo are enemies of the state. Loyalties and honesty of family, and of friends, will be tested. ‘Keep your friends close, your enemies closer’. 

Main Pairing: Liam Rys x F!MC Riley Brooks-Rys, OTP ‘LiRi’ 

Secondary Pairings: Leo Rys x Amalas, (past, Olivia Nevrakis x Amalas) 

Drake Walker x F!OC Delaney Leigh 

All characters belong to Pixelberry, except Delaney Leigh 

Rating: M *Warnings: brief description of firearms, sexual innuendo. 

Category: Alternate Universe/on-going series/angst/fluff 

Words: 1811, Read: 8 minutes 

Chapter 1: Old Habits Die Hard 

Chapter Summary: The joys of family are celebrated; the exhilaration of new relationships is explored. The sorrows of fading love and betrayal. 

Music Inspiration: Bad Habits by Ed Sheeren. 

AN1: My submission for @choicesflashfics Week #14 Prompt #3, “You promised you wouldn’t do this anymore.” 

King’s Royal Chambers, Cordonian Palace 

January 2nd 

Crown Princess Eleanor was sitting at the breakfast table, gazing at the blue skies of a beautiful January morning in the Capital. Patiently waiting for her nanny to escort her to her lesson, she looked up as her father bent down to kiss her cheek. 

“Good morning, my princess,” King Liam smiled. 

Ellie giggled, “daddy, that tickles!” 

“Are you excited for your lessons today?” 

“Yes, daddy...but?” Liam frowned, instantly concerned. 

“Mommy says that her favorite part of school was recess. Will I get recess too?” 

“Well...umm...mommy went to a different type of school.” 

He knew that the different childhood that he had as a child as compared to his wife would present unique questions. Liam was grateful that his queen was nearby for the assist. 

“Yes, sweetheart, I went to school in America.” Riley joined the conversation, walking over to the table carrying a mug of coffee for her husband. 

Sitting beside Ellie, with one leg tucked underneath, Riley continued. 

“In America, the children learn their lessons in a group...like a big playdate. To give the teacher a break, they would take the children outside to play in-between lessons. That is called ‘recess’.” 

“I like playdates, mommy. Will I get to go to school there like you?” 

“Well, how about we plan a trip to visit there instead? Ellie, ask your tutor today to show you where America is on a map so that we can plan a visit.” 

“OK, mommy, I am so excited!” After kissing her parents good-bye, Ellie got up to join her nanny to be escorted to her class. 

Once alone, Riley sat back on her chair and smiled, “Are you ready for today?” 

Liam and Riley were meeting with the Royal obstetrician, Dr. Ramirez for Riley's 10-week prenatal check-up. 

Liam could not stop the wide grin from forming. Smiling, “Oh yes!” 

Chuckling, Riley stood up, grasping his hand, “Let’s go Mr. Rys.” 

*** 

Royal Guard Palace Security Offices 

Along with his team, Bastien Lykel was reviewing drone security footage taken the evening of the New Year’s Gala at the palace. 

They watched as a figure moving along the exterior gate of the side entrance of the palace grounds was apprehended by gate guards. 

“This is the woman that is currently being held for trespass?” Bastien asks his lieutenant.  

“Yes, sir. In her possession we found a SIG Sauer P226 handgun, a TASER X26P and an iPhone, which has been analyzed.” 

“I need a copy of the data results from that phone as soon as possible.” 

“Sir, another copy?”  

“Yes, as soon as possible. Is that a problem lieutenant?” 

Bastien needed to be prepared with all the details about this woman before his meeting with King Liam this afternoon. 

*** 

Dr. Ramirez’s office 

Liam’s POV  

As Riley and I enter the doctor’s office, my mind goes back in time, to when we were first here, all those years ago. I was so happy...no, way beyond happy, ecstatic! 

...and then, BOOM!  

During Riley’s consultation about her first pregnancy, the doctor revealed, previously unbeknownst to me, that she had treated my mother in a pregnancy. A pregnancy that I had no knowledge of; I had discovered my mother’s secret. A secret she took to her grave. 

I made a mental note to follow up with this mystery with Interpol. Since the royal guard at that time did not investigate thoroughly, there was a possibility that evidence was not fully disclosed. Obviously, my father did not deem it necessary to inform me. When returning to the palace later that day, I started the enquiry into the murder of my mother.  

So many questions left unanswered, still, to this day. But, enough of that. Now is not the time.  

“Liam? Earth to Liam?” Riley squeezed my hand in concern. Coming back to the present, I apologized for zoning out. 

Riley cupped my cheek, “where did you go just now?” 

Before, I could reply, Dr Ramirez entered the office with a nurse, both bowing to Riley and me. 

“It is a great honor to once again be entrusted with your care and pregnancy.” 

As they prepared Riley for her scan, I watched in reverence of my wife. She looked so happy, so content, and was taking everything in stride. 

The memory of seeing Ellie on that monitor that first time flooded my thoughts. Then hearing her heartbeat; taking my breath away. 

Watching the monitor today, I held Riley’s hand as the doctor moved the doppler wand over her abdomen. When the baby appeared, my heart felt like it would beat out of my chest. Just like the first time, I was in awe of our little creation. Looking down at Riley, she was in tears as she looked up at me. 

...and then, we both heard the heartbeats. 

Both of us turned to the screen. 

“Well, this explains a few things,” the doctor grinned.  

...and then as the doctor moved the wand to the other side of her bump, my jaw dropped. 

“...and this baby is the twin of another baby right next to it, here. 

Congratulations, your babies are perfect fraternal twins.” 

Through her tears, Riley was trying her best to speak. 

“L.. L.. L....Liam!!! Oh, my goodness!!! 

As for me, I could not stop smiling. 

*** 

Royal Council Meeting 

Olivia sat scowling watching Leo enter the boardroom with Drake. 

“Well, well, well.... Look who decided to do some work around here. Where is your girlfriend? Is she tired of you already?” 

“Olivia, can we get through this meeting without you making a fool of yourself.” Drake wasn’t even in the room for a minute before Olivia started her attack. 

“You promised you wouldn’t do this anymore.” Drake replied to Olivia. “I thought we had an agreement.” 

“You are mad at me, Livvie, not Drake.” Leo calmly stated 

Olivia was about to respond, but Rashad called the meeting to an order. 

“Good morning council. Let's start by welcoming Hana Lee and Leo Rys to our team,” Rashad begins.  

Hana returned to Cordonia at Riley’s suggestion to be an arts and culture advisor and Leo was personally asked by Liam to be his proxy whenever he could not attend a meeting. Leo was charged to periodically be present in support of the crown.  

“We need to discuss a security concern that occurred and came to light over the holidays. King Liam has arranged Interpol agents to oversee the investigation.” 

“Interpol, to oversee the Royal guard?” Olivia questioned with a raised eyebrow at Bastien. 

Leo knew better not to react to that question, taking a long sip of his coffee. He almost could not stop his gasp when he saw the picture Amalas sent on his phone.

*** 

Delaney Leigh’s townhouse  

Dance like no-one is watching. This is Delaney’s mantra today. 

Breathing in the fragrant scent of the long stemmed roses sitting in a vase on her kitchen counter, her mind goes back to last night.  

Delaney was waiting for Drake to come over for a home cooked dinner. Making baby back ribs, Caesar salad and slow roasted baked potatoes, she wanted everything to be perfect for her new love. Checking her reflection one more time, she heard the knock on her front door. 

Just before turning the doorknob, Delaney took a breath, the butterflies going wild. Opening the door to see a smiling Drake holding a bouquet of red roses. 

“There she is, hello Laney!”  

“Drake, hello!” 

Feeling weak in the knees, Delaney grasped the door frame and moved forward to place a hand on his arm. 

“These are so beautiful.” Reaching up to place a tender kiss on his lips, she groaned when Drake deepened the kiss. 

Sighing, Delaney re-read the message that Drake had just sent.  

'Hey babe, I need to stay late at the palace tonight, but I have all day booked off tomorrow for you and me.' 💞😘TTYL

Sliding her phone into her pocket, she poured herself a glass of wine, moved to the sofa and picked up her tablet to continue reading her book on kindle. 

*** 

Arriving back at the palace, Liam and Riley went directly to their private wing and upon reaching the ornate double doors of their chambers, Liam turned to his courtier instructing him for the afternoon. 

Once inside, Riley made lunch arrangements and then moved into her walk in closet to get changed. 

Slipping off her shoes first, she let her dress fall to the floor and went to select some loungewear in her closet. Liam was adamant that she would cut down her time spent on her queen duties, now that she was pregnant. So, for the rest of the day, she could relax in comfortable attire at home. 

She found Liam stretched out on their bed when she went back to the bedroom.  

Grinning, Riley approached the bed, shaking her head at her husband. Liam decided to get comfortable as well and decided on wearing just his boxers. 

Liam chuckled at his wife’s expression as she moved closer to him. 

“Come here, my queen.” Holding up his arms, he wrapped them around Riley snuggly as she sunk down into his embrace. 

“Are you skipping your duties this afternoon, your majesty,” Teasing her husband by running her hands over his chest. 

“Keep touching me like that, love. I won’t go anywhere, I promise.” Cupping her cheek, Liam kissed her deeply, gently pushing her onto her back. 

Moving his other hand down her body, he stopped moving down once he felt her baby bump. 

“Our babies!” The look of adoration he gave her took Riley’s breath away. 

“I love you Riley, so much.” 

Riley wrapped her arms around his neck, “I love you, too. 

Her lips trembled as she started to cry, feeling overwhelmed over her new reality and her husband’s devotion. 

***

Down in the holding cells of the palace, a jail cell door is found left open by Interpol.

***

@txemrn @bebepac @ao719 @peonierose @phoenixrising0308 @queenmiarys @703cowbarn @mom2000aggie @malblk21 @queenrileyrose @indiana-jr @winkyluxhumanoid @rubiwalker @harleybeaumont @kingliam2019 @marietrinmimi @imashybish @angelasscribbles @isha26 @sfb123 @cordonianredruby @hopelessromanticmonie @tinkie1973 @belencha77 @honey358luv @jared2612 @urfaveaesthetic101 @xpandass420x @kyra75 @late-to-the-fandom @sammiiieeevaaans @lsvdw-blog @blueaster-blog1 @imjusthereforliam @dcbbw @lovingchoices14 @queen-arabella-of-cordonia @miss-america-erica @princess-geek @karahalloway @cathx91 @walkerdrakewalker @squid-princess-teach-swallow @thesvnsins @surrenderronnie1 @busywoman @twinkleallnight

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed. 🌹

[gstdaisuki]

Part 2: A Discovery with Paul Hutchinson

In the middle of asking some questions via email, Paul discovered the source files for several modules that we had both assumed were lost. This was quite an exciting moment, so I wanted to share it separately.

the previous interview was formatted to remove the interleaved blocks of quoted text. this is presented in a more raw format, as I think that shows the discovery process better.

from anosci, Mar 11, 2024, 7:01PM

I had some more music questions.

The first two X-Men games had 33 and 45 RPM options for all of the music. Do you remember how that made it into the game? Because after hearing your tales of pirate radio and record shop digging, I feel pretty confident that this speed-select design was your idea!

Also, you previously shared the Amiga modules from X-Men 3, before the conversion to Game Gear data. I believe that X-Men 3 was your final Game Gear game. Was the "Amiga -> MIDI data" technique a new process, or did you do that for every preceding Game Gear game?

from Paul Hutchinson, Mar 11, 2024, 8:51PM

Yes, the 33/45 rpm option was my idea. :) Ed liked it. He keeps saying we should do a game together again, "before we die". And he said it should have a retro flavour, and have weird dance music in it. Maybe one day we will do that, I am up for it. (I am considering doing a Pico-8 title at some point here.)

Hmm. I don't think X-Men 3 was the only Amiga to MIDI data music I did. However, I don't remember when the cross-over was. I would have to go back and check over everything. I'll have a quick look and let you know if I actually find out, eh.

from Paul Hutchinson, Mar 11, 2024, 9:12PM

Ok, so I checked the ASM files. X-Men 1-3 all have music derived from Amiga MOD files. There is text denoting the MOD title, and names of the samples which were used in the MOD. If you are interested in more on that I can dig a bit more, and get you those names. They are samples from records I had at the time (Art Of Noise, Linx, etc.). Obviously, the Game Gear instruments were not the same sound.

from anosci, Mar 11, 2024, 10:12PM

I'm curious, at least! I'd love to hear the original MODs but I assume you were only able to find X-Men 3

from Paul Hutchinson, Mar 12, 2024, 9:04AM

Music! …

Ok, this is getting interesting. I see "babybeat" in the list of MODs used in X-Men 1. I found a playlist on YT with 10 tracks. In the menu of the game there are 8 tracks to preview. Track 10 on the playlist is 08 on the menu. Given the heartbeat type sound I hear, that is the most likely candidate for "babybeat". Obviously, since there are 10 tracks in the playlist, and there are 10 references to MOD in the code, all of the tunes in the code were used in the game. Now I am not certain about the connection of this particular tune to "Midnight (Live)" by Orbital. It could be that it is another track that I posted, because I posted quite a few. Hmm. It's what my memory says, but I could be wrong? In any case, it means that "babybeat" as a MOD was transferred from Amiga to PC. There is a chance I have it on the CD from 1999. I just need to find that, again. The MODs do sound quite different from the GG tunes, because it is samples vs sound-chip noises. I just tried to make something that sounded good enough when converted to GG format. There are no samples, for one thing, and the tempo is different. I had made some tunes on my Amiga, and then decided to present them as potential tracks for X-Men 1, and they were accepted (for subsequent X-Men titles I made tracks specifically, as denoted by the titles of the MODs). Normally, Sega would have a musician compose tracks for a game (in MIDI).

In-browser play of X-Men https://archive.org/details/gg_X-Men_1993_Sega Key 1 to start, arrow keys to navigate, and left-CTRL to play tune

Silence = 00

X-Men playlist, 10 tracks, (at 45 RPM?) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUmRxFtMhfI&list=PLw5ZGhvK7sSLqfx4HdldmkLPdFpM3pqFY Track 1 = 01 Track 4 = 02 Track 6 = 03 Track 5 = 04 Track 7 = 05 Track 3 = 06 Track 2 = 07 Track 10 = 08

So, Track 8 and Track 9 (in the playlist) are not playable via the GG menu. Hmm. Title Screen and Ending Theme. Maybe we left off the Ending Theme because it was supposed to be a reward for finishing? Unless you just get it anyway, at Game Over (I do not recall). The Title Screen theme is just there. Oh, well.

In X-Men 1 … ;MOD Title is: renaissancegg Samples = adamski2.raw ;chahihat.raw ;ahh.raw ;drum7 ;19hat ;tr909snare ;bassdeep.raw ;minor4 ;MOD Title is: babybeat Samples = shaker ;animate-bass ;aon-bongo1.raw ;GGbdrum.raw ;AoN-drm3.raw ;moog2 ;drumwack.raw ;SoSbass1.raw ;SoSstring2.raw ;SRdrm2.raw ;CHAhihat.raw ;MOD Title is: outgg Samples = drum7 ;BHbass1.raw ;BHbass2.raw ;cymbal-crash ;chahihat.raw ;crash.raw ;jb-hhmed.raw ;hypnobass.raw ;BHacid1.raw ;BHacid2.raw ;BHacid3.raw ;out_there.raw ;MOD Title is: itchgg Samples = linxvox.raw ;AoN-perc1.raw ;AoN-drm5.raw ;AoN-drm3.raw ;dancer-vox.raw ;dancer-synth1.raw ;scratch.raw ;KRAYScratch.raw ;cymbalong.raw ;hihat1 ;organ.raw ;drumanvil.raw ;MOD Title is: fishgg Samples = Freq5.raw ;crash.raw ;DT4AAdrum2.raw ;DT4AAdrum.raw ;Freq1.raw ;SBpiano2.raw ;cymbalong.raw ;model500-cymop.raw ;futuresnare2 ;wavehi.raw ;N-JOImindflux.raw ;MOD Title is: trouzgg Samples = DT4AAdrum.raw ;hihat1 ;DT4AAbass2.raw ;2U-4.raw ;hihatop1 ;DT4AA6.raw ;zoo7.raw ;where'smytrousers.raw ;zoo8.raw ;ere.raw ;yaseenem.raw ;theretheyare.raw ;MOD Title is: joygg Samples = N-JOImf1.raw ;N-JOI-5.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;N-JOI-2.raw ;JBdrum2.raw ;N-JOIrz1.raw ;N-JOIrz2.raw ;N-JOIrz3.raw ;jb-hhmed.raw ;MOD Title is: ramgg Samples = N-JOIph1.raw ;aon-drm5.raw ;model500-cymop.raw ;model500-cymcl.raw ;model500-clap.raw ;drumwack.raw ;2U-6.raw ;hold ;hold (offset tone) ;MOD Title is: turbogg Samples = beep1.raw ;beep2.raw ;beep3.raw ;beep4.raw ;gunshot ;2U-3.raw ;chahihat3.raw ;spliffclap2 ;snare ;stick.raw ;zoo1.raw ;2U-2.raw ;DT4AA6.raw ;MOD Title is: xravegg Samples = EBputv.raw ;JBhitme.raw ;shamen-guitar1.raw ;shamen-guitar2.raw ;SoSbass2.raw ;s&pcots.raw ;mtxpling.raw ;orch.hit ;bassdrum16 ;bassdrum7 ;breaksnareclap ;closehihat ;cymbal-crash ;tap.raw

Naming of samples … Adamski, CHA = Crown Heights Affair, AoN = Art Of Noise, BH = Bassheads, JB = James Brown, Linx (David Grant), KRAYScratch is a sample from "The Krays" film ("Stop all that scratchin', you're making me bloody itch!", "Where's my trousers?" is another sample from same, I think), N-Joi, Model 500, Shamen, SoS = S.O.S. Band, zoo = "Zoo Rave" compilation CD, 2U = 2Unlimited, DT4AA = "Don't Techno For An Answer" compilation CD

Bassheads - Is There Anybody Out There Adamski - NRG Model 500 - Sound Of Stereo

In X-Men 2 … ;MOD Title is: level1b Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;808synth.raw ;amaski1.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;MOD Title is: level1 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum7 ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;aon-vox6.raw ;amaski1.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;MOD Title is: level2 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum7 ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;808synth.raw ;amaski1.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;BHacid1.raw ;MOD Title is: level3 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum7 ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;808synth.raw ;amaski1.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;BHacid1.raw ;MOD Title is: level4 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;808synth.raw ;amaski1.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;BHacid1.raw ;MOD Title is: level5 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum7 ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;808synth.raw ;amaski1.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;BHacid1.raw ;MOD Title is: level6 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum7 ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;808synth.raw ;amaski1.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;BHacid1.raw ;MOD Title is: level7 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum7 ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;808synth.raw ;amaski1.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;BHacid1.raw ;MOD Title is: level8 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum7 ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;808synth.raw ;amaski1.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;BHacid1.raw ;MOD Title is: level9 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum7 ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;808synth.raw ;amaski1.raw ;N-JOIph1.raw ;BHacid1.raw ;MOD Title is: level10 Samples = bassdrum28 ;animate-bass ;koto ;closedhi ;hihat-2ud2 ;snare25

In X-Men 3 … ;MOD Title is: x3l1 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum7 ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;BHbass2.raw ;amaski1.raw ;eurostring.raw ;MOD Title is: x3l2 Samples = akaiclosedhh ;bassdrum7 ;snare1 ;hihat-2ud2 ;BHbass2.raw ;amaski1.raw ;eurostring.raw ;MOD Title is: x3l3 Samples = 909.ophi ;hip.snare ;breakdrum ;cymbal1 ;polysynth ;strings6 ;tubestring ;tricky.raw ;MOD Title is: x3l4 Samples = 909.ophi ;hip.snare ;breakdrum ;cymbal1 ;shamen-keys.raw ;tttt-bass1.raw ;goodpling ;inner ;funbass ;MOD Title is: x3l5 Samples = 909.ophi ;hip.snare ;breakdrum ;cymbal1 ;animate-bass ;sequencer ;pizza2 ;N-JOIph1.raw ;tricky.raw ;MOD Title is: x3l6 Samples = 909.ophi ;hip.snare ;breakdrum ;cymbal1 ;bassguitar.funk ;digdug ;exbells ;reflex ;MOD Title is: x3l7 Samples = 909.ophi ;hip.snare ;breakdrum ;cymbal1 ;polysynth ;strings6 ;bell11 ;digdug ;growl2 ;MOD Title is: x3l8 Samples = 909.ophi ;drum7 ;comadrum ;cymbal1 ;comasynth1 ;comasynth2 ;ex800bass ;hitbass ;MOD Title is: x3l9 Samples = 909.ophi ;hip.snare ;breakdrum ;cymbal1 ;dang ;dbassic.raw ;dbassic2.raw ;d-50.res1 ;d-50.res2 ;d-50.res3 ;d-50.res4 ;d-50.res5 ;junob3 ;sequencer ;synth1 ;MOD Title is: x3l10 Samples = 909.ophi ;hip.snare ;breakdrum ;cymbal1 ;koto07 ;bass37 ;Sample10_04 ;perco ;hitbass ;licks ;MOD Title is: x3l11 Samples = hip.snare ;breakdrum ;cymbal1 ;strings3majfl ;sinecz ;shamus ;pling ;tinewave ;synbrass

Probably more info than was necessary, eh. But I learned something! :D

from anosci, Mar 12, 2024, 4:57PM

this is interesting!

First of all, it's rare that game music has titles! They're not quite matched up with the order of the songs in the sound test, but that's still neat to know.

plus it confirms my interpretation that these were rave / dance inspired tunes!

I could believe that 08 in the sound test menu is "babybeat". It has a pretty soft melody, befitting of the title and theme, I think.

This also paints an interesting picture. Tell me if this lines up with your memories:

You had to write the music for Spiderman vs The Kingpin, so you hunkered down and used whatever tools you had.

Then when you learned you had to do the music for X-Men as well, you wanted something easier to work with, 

so you proposed converting the MODs you'd already written.

...and then you stuck with that process for the next two games

>  Unless you just get it anyway, at Game Over (I do not recall).

I checked, and you get the the (presumed?) "babybeat" track at Game Over

from Paul Hutchinson, Mar 12, 2024, 8:41PM

Yes, that's about it, as best as I can remember. I got pretty used to ProTracker.

Yes, at Game Over.

I listened to both tracks to try and compare. It's difficult, because the tempo is very different, the waveforms are very different, and the instruments are totally different. I really need to find that disc, because if I can hear my original MOD it will help clarify if my memory is correct.

from anosci, Mar 13, 2024, 12:31PM

I suppose the obvious follow-up question would be: do you remember how you wrote the tunes for Spiderman vs. The Kingpin?

from Paul Hutchinson, Mar 13, 2024, 3:07PM

Joergen Bech wrote the sound subroutines, we worked together at Inner Prise (I think he is Swedish). I am pretty sure that the music was just composed using those subroutines. As in, just typing it all up, into the assembler file. It was a bit laborious to say the least. There are no other tools to write the music. I looked at the code, and there is no mention of anything other than the code itself. Less than ideal, eh. But then, I am the type of programmer that will convert a C64 loading screen to an Amstrad loading screen, by typing in all the numbers defining each pixel (and getting it right). I did that for Druid (or Druid II, I forget which). Just brute forced it. I got Firebird to provide a print out of all the numbers for the C64 screen, and I converted them myself, and typed in the Amstrad equivalent. I think I got 250 quid for that, it was not fun, but maybe worth the cash, eh.

For Chakan, there was a composer who provided MIDI files. I wrote a conversion program to convert the MIDI into the format that the sound subroutines could use. Much easier, and I did not have to come up with the music myself.

Then for X-Men I added a MOD to MIDI converter, I think. Then ran that through the MIDI to sound subroutine format.

I am looking through the code some more ...

Breaking news ... I just found a bunch of MOD files inside the Sega > TC > Prog folder. OMG! Stand by for those ... (BabyBeat!)

from anosci, Mar 13, 2024, 6:17PM

Typing music straight into an ASM file was shockingly common back then, so I believe it.

> I just found a bunch of MOD files inside the Sega > TC > Prog folder.

!!!!

excitedly but patiently waiting to hear these!

from Paul Hutchinson, Mar 13, 2024, 7:43PM

Hallelujah! :D

Okay, we have the original pre-conversion MOD files for X-Men 1 & 2. They are not the original MOD files. These have been modified to fit the conversion process, in order to get a decent sounding composition on the Game Gear. I have removed some samples from being played, even though they are probably still included in the sample set. I have substituted some samples for others, in order to get a better result. However, you do get a decent idea of how it all worked. This might be as close as we can get, but I will keep looking, eh. I also included some MODs that were in the same folder, but are not mine. A couple from the "Jesus On E's" Amiga demo, as well as the "Coma" demo. Figured you might find them interesting too. I might have borrowed samples from those MODs to make my own.

I have to say I was quite emotional when I saw those MODs in the Turbo-C++ folder. Never expected them to be there this whole time. Hearing "Babybeat" again after all these years. Man. Thanks for getting me to look into all this, I would not have known they were there otherwise. Cheers! :)

3 attachments:

Xmen-Extras.7z

Xmen2MODs.7z

XmenMODs.7z

from anosci, Mar 13, 2024, 9:52PM

I cross-referenced the songs with the titles as they appear in smspower.com (here and here)

X-Men baby    -> Mandripoor fishgg  -> Brood Cave itchgg  -> The Savage Land joygg   -> Boss outgg   -> Morlock Tunnel ramgg   -> Game Over renaiss -> The Hellfire Club trouzgg -> Avalon turbogg -> Ending xravegg -> Title

X-Men 2 level1 -> Arctic level1b-> The Danger Room level2 -> The Hellfire Club level3 -> Genosha level4 -> Avalon level5 -> Egyptian Base Part 1 level6 -> Egyptian Base Part 2 level7 -> Stryfe's Moon Base level8 -> Boss level9 -> Ending level10-> Title

critically speaking, I think most of these start with a solid idea that then gets a bit buried. but it's an amazing piece of context. a lot of the rave timbre was lost in the gamegear conversion. it's amazing to hear it put back, so to speak!

I can see why you fondly remembered babybeat. I think that might be your strongest tune here. that and "OUTGG" (or at least, those two are my favorites)

I love seeing that you got something cool out of my barrage of questions and curiosity, too :)

digging around some more... "JOYGG" is an odd one: the pitch bends didn't transfer to the Game Gear. though I'm not sure my own playback is accurate... there's a lot of out-of-key samples that sound fine after the Game Gear conversion. Strange.

comparing babybeat to orbital's "Midnight (Live)"... the two have a similar push-pull rhythm rhythm in the bass, but I wouldn't call them the same. 

though I could easily imagine the similarities causing a fan of one song to raise their eyebrow at the other. 

from Paul Hutchinson, Mar 14, 2024, 8:26AM

Cool.

Yeah, the "missing link" MODs do not sound as good as either the originals, or the final GG version.

Oh, and I actually wrote a Pro-Tracker to GG format conversion program (DOS), no in-between conversion. I think there was, at some point, a dual set up, but I decided to make it simpler. The dual set up would have been a legacy from when I had to write a MIDI to GG format, for Chakan. I only have the final set of tools in my Turbo-C++ directory, none of the tools I used previously.

I agree with your assessment of the tune similarity. I think at some point I got it into my head they were more similar, and then that just became what I remembered. I am getting older too, so that is a factor. I am only human after all.

from anosci, Mar 14, 2024, 7:02PM

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story, right? ;)

from Paul Hutchinson, Mar 14, 2024, 8:39PM

Well, I am kind of big on telling the truth, tbh. I do acknowledge that I can (and do) get things wrong though. I remember when I was a kid, I swore that the words on a TV advert were "It's full of peppery goodness", when in fact, it was "It's full of Cadbury goodness" (the ad was for Cadbury's Finger of Fudge). I really believed that was what it said, and it did not matter what everyone else said it was. I was honest about my position, I was just completely and totally wrong. :D

[zanrelley]

Adrift 14

ROTTMNT Fanfic

Summary:

 Leonardo isn’t rescued from the Krang Prison Dimension by his brothers, forced to flee from his cellmate in the void. The greatest ninja warrior of all time has to learn how to adapt to his new home, traversing low gravity, discovering the usefulness of spaceship corpses from worlds far beyond his own, and finding ways to survive such a harsh abandoned world.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

AO3 Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen: There's Purple Everywhere

Word Count: 4.3k

 When he woke up that morning, Casey wasn’t entirely surprised to find himself alone in Splinter’s bedroom. Raph and Mikey had left at some point and the aforementioned fatherly rat was nowhere to be seen either. He allowed himself a yawn and a stretch as he sat up, regretting not accepting Mikey on his offer of borrowing his or Leo’s spare PJs for the night before they went to bed.

 He felt a bit stiff, but it wasn’t anything he wasn’t already used to back home, pausing as that thought crossed his mind. It was just a little ironic to think of a place like that as home compared to where he was now, even if it had many similarities with the present company. He sighed as he hopped off of the weird bumpy mattress Splinter called his bed as he dismissed the idea entirely, thinking about anything related to his original dimension just exhausted him, he would rather avoid it altogether for right now.

 Casey purposefully waltzed out of Splinter’s bedroom without putting on his extra gear, having left it on the floor from last night. There wasn’t any reason for him to wear it in the lair, he would only need it if they left for another mission.

 Speaking of doing things outside of the lair, Casey needed to find the others to see what the plan was for today, they had mostly been hanging around the lair as of late, other than the trip he had taken with Donnie yesterday. Raphael had mentioned Donnie probably needing them to go for a scrap run at some point to get him some more supplies for whatever he might be making to rescue Leo. Now that he thought about it, Raph had been muttering about Donnie all night, maybe he and Mikey went to go check on him this morning.

 Casey walked out into the common space of the lair, passing through the projector room and down the steps to where the train cars started. He assumed Donnie would be in his lab, that was one thing that didn’t change with time, and he was proved correct as he jogged the rest of the way when he heard voices echoing off the walls as he got closer.

 “I don’t have time, I put it to the side to work on later. This takes priority. I’m only one turtle Raph, I’d clone myself but that would take time away from this too.” He heard Donnie’s voice first, pushing the ajar door open wider so he could step fully inside. All three of the turtles were there, Donnie was crouched on Raph’s shoulders as the snapper was leaning against a weird giant metal pod thing and Mikey was handing tools to the four mechanical arms coming out of Dee’s battle shell. Raph offered him a wave when he noticed him, which he tentatively returned as he walked further inside the room.

 “But Dee, you said you might be able to strengthen the radio from our end, if you can do that, wouldn’t we be able to hear Leo?” Raphael asked, grunting as Donnie shifted to put a foot on his head to reach around to a new angle on the pod’s roof.

 “I did not guarantee that, but, Leo cannot respond to us through the radio and I am also developing a theory he can’t hear us as well as we thought. I was asking him questions last night, and the data I gathered proved my theory correct. I noticed an inconsistency and started asking him random questions.” He turned and lifted his goggles to look at his older brother.

 “Did you know Leo is no longer a turtle and never has been? I asked him and he said no.” He informed them with a straight face before putting his goggles back on and turning back to his work. Mikey giggled while Raph made a face. Casey went to sit next to Michelangelo as he listened to the conversation, the box turtle gave him an affectionate shoulder bump before returning to attending to Donnie’s robot arms.

 “I mean, isn’t there a chance he is telling the truth?” Raph tried to poke around with Don’s logic, a dangerous game for anyone.

 “Indignant scoff. I highly doubt it, dear brother. From what my comatose lab partner has told me, the Krang looked like that before during and after entering the prison dimension, I doubt Leo was affected by it or anything else there.” He started to weld again, startling Raph as the sparks spewed everywhere around him from above.

 “Donnie!” Raph tried to protest, doing his best not to move to offset his younger brother’s balance. Donnie noticed his protest but continued to weld anyway. Casey and Mikey shared a short giggle.

 “But, wouldn’t it be easier to make sure Leo is okay if he could answer back? Maybe he could help us get him home from his side.” Casey prompted the purple turtle. Donnie glanced his way as he let his head quirk to the side at the question. He hadn’t thought about it from that angle before, it wasn’t like Leo didn’t have access to materials to build something similar to Donnie, tools were limited, but if they truly had open communication he could simply tell Leo what to do to solve that problem. There was the entire half of the Technodrome obliterated on his side of the dimension, that was a decent amount of materials to workshop into… something.

 He doubted he would run into the attention span problem with Leonardo in this predicament, he had no choice but to listen to his twin for once when he info dumped. But, there was still his concern about time. Maybe he could afford to fix their communicative link for the time being, if he had Leo working on something from the other side, things might go faster and turn this puzzle into an easier one to solve.

 Before he could even begin to concede and pause working on the Leo-Pod, his lab door was thrown open with enough force to create a crater in the concrete wall. Donnie was startled, comically falling off of his brother only to be grabbed and held by an equally caught-off-guard Raph. Everyone looked to the door in surprise, but it faded when they saw their older sister.

 April was proudly standing in the doorway, a cunning smirk on her face as her eyes zeroed in on Casey. The apocalyptic teen had a small sliver of fear run up his spine about what that look meant.

 “I am here to kidnap our newest bro! He is coming with me and Cass to volunteer with city cleanup whether he likes it or not!” April strutted further into the laboratory, playfully ignoring the turtles as she stopped to dramatically raise a neatly folded pile of clothes she had in her hand out towards Casey. The apocalyptic teen raised a brow as he stood and made his way down from the platform he and Mikey had been sitting on to accept her offering of new clothes. It was simple, just an old white tank top and some dark grey sweatpants.

 He gave it a skeptical look, it wasn’t like he had never seen normal clothes before, but he certainly wasn’t used to the idea of walking around on the surface without his typical attire. He especially didn’t want to let go of anything he had left of his Donatello either, he treasured all the Genius Built™ clothes Don had given him over the years.

 But, maybe he should learn to loosen his grip on everything from the… Past? He looked up at April’s eager smile, it was a look that was meant to encourage him, he was sure. She was just trying to help him out, probably planning to show him the world without the Krang’s rule, maybe help him meet some people.

 He returned her smile as he considered what to do with his stuff in the meantime. He turned to look at the others.

 “Can I leave my gear in the lab for… safekeeping?” Casey asked hesitantly to Donnie who was still seated in Raph’s arms. That seemed to shake everyone from their initial shock, Donnie clamoring to get out of his big bro’s hold and righting himself as he nodded, his eyes going wide as excitement filled them.

 “Of course! I could even make some improvements while you’re away if you’d like! I could clean them up, throw in some scented detergent, free of charge.” He seemed a little too eager to be granted access to Casey’s gear as he practically skipped over, but he supposed it was really for the chance to see if his apocalyptic timeline self had done anything he hadn’t thought of or made yet. Either way, whatever he could gain from caring for Casey’s worn armor would probably go over his head, and he was only a little eager to downsize capacity.

 “It's settled then! I’ll be waiting for you in the kitchen. Mikey, I want a few snacks for the road, if you don’t mind!” April teased the youngest in the room as she moonwalked back out into the lair, the orange ninja’s eyes practically sparkled as he bounced out after her.

 “I am going to blow Casey’s mind with my sandwich skills!” He cheered as he disappeared after her. Casey chuckled as he went in the opposite direction to follow after Donnie who guided him to a room to change.

-----------

 It had been a few hours since Casey and April had rendezvoused with Cassandra outside of the sewers and made their way to one of the relief camps the New York citizens had set up along the streets. It was a massive effort, it surprised Casey how fast everyday people who hadn’t seen the worst of the Krang invasion were capable of setting up tents and stalls to freely hand out food and clothing provisions. It was only a little concerning to him when they saw men with guns every few blocks, but April had assured him they must’ve just been police or military guys who were sent to help maintain peace, like keep people from stealing and fighting over supplies and such.

 It wasn’t an entirely unfamiliar thing for Casey to see, but it didn’t feel right not to be able to recognize the “peacekeepers” like he normally did back in his timeline. It just made him glad that he won the argument about whether or not he should bring his hockey stick along, but after a few solid points from his end, everyone caved and let him take it with him to the surface. Casey might’ve been ready to downsize his gear, but he wasn’t ready to stop carrying his weapon around, you never knew where the Krang or the infected could still be lurking.

 Cassandra had been actively volunteering that day, they had visited her at a stand where they were giving shoes away to those who needed them, but April had explained she mostly wanted to get Casey some clothes while there was a chance without spending a whole lot of cash. It was also a tactic to get him to see more of the modern and less apocalyptically rocked New York.

 Casey appreciated the gesture, it was something he had been curious and overwhelmed with since he first got to this timeline, but he couldn’t help but be a bit disinterested. It was hard to think about meeting people when he wanted to be back at the lair and helping the brothers get Leonardo back. But, he supposed when the time came for him to help or fill in a role, they would ask for him to come back.

 It was hard to leave the lair in all honesty, he was used to the whole “no man left behind” in most circumstances from the resistance, walking out of the lair felt like he was giving up on saving Leo. He fought those thoughts back though as he forced an awkward smile as April presented a black T-shirt with a band logo on it, she was gushing about things he didn’t understand but accepted the shirt anyway.

 “I’ll have to play some of their songs for you when we get back, Donnie has some nice speakers that we can drag out to use. I’m sure he won’t notice them missing while working in his lab.” She giggled with a little too much evil glee before turning back around to find more shirts for Casey. He glanced away from her as she dutifully dug through the massive pile of donated clothes to take another look around. So far, other than the Hamato family and April and his own mother, Casey hasn’t seen anyone else he recognized from his version of this world.

 It made his heart sink as his eyes mindlessly scanned the crowd. He watched mothers and their children digging through clothes, groups of young boys carrying jugs of water in each hand as they left the market, and even some people with bandages on their heads and arms. That was one of the few things that did look familiar.

 Until he saw a head of lavender hair shimmying through the crowd. If he didn’t recognize the hair, he did recognize the jacket. Casey’s eyes went wide as he nearly dropped all of the clothes April had piled into his hands. It was Kendra!

 Casey remembered Kendra, and the stories about her brother and friend who ran a group named “The Purple Dragons”  before the apocalypse, before Kendra (from his timeline) had taken the title herself. The version of her that he knew was THE Purple Dragon. She was a high-time rival of Donnie and a passive-aggressive fighter in the resistance.

 It was easy to say that one got along with her, but she did her part and earned respect as she worked alongside Donatello regarding his tech and the advancements needed for their survival. She voiced her opinion loudly about it being a bias that Donatello was in charge of all their tech, that everything went by his design, his blueprints, but no one had the energy to care about her protest. Casey’s Donnie had done his best to keep the ships, bases, and other tech-cored utilities minimalistic to create as much as possible, no one wanted to shift the balance of resources just because someone else wanted to be in charge.

 And Master Leonardo’s word was as close as they got to law, no one wanted to create a mini democracy in the apocalypse, they wanted their orders because they wanted to survive, and they had too much faith in Leonardo to consider changing every method that came under scrutiny.

 They weren’t perfect, but neither was their world, and the world was all that mattered.

 Regardless, Casey went through a revelation as his memories of his timeline’s Kendra ran through his mind, a light bulb going off in his head. Maybe a collaboration between the purple turtle and the purple dragon was necessary once again.

 “Command- I mean- April, I’ll be back in a second.” Casey only gave her a second to react before handing back the pile of clothes she had given him, jogging over to the long-time rival of Donatello. She seemed to be on her phone, but he noticed her eyeballing anyone who came near her as she stood by a stall. What was she doing here? He didn’t see her carrying any clothes or food.

 “Kendra!” Casey called out without thinking, making the girl’s eyes go wide as her sharp gaze snapped right onto him. He saw the familiar hostility there, and for some reason it almost made him relax before he realized his mistake. Kendra doesn’t know who he is.

 He got closer and her sharp gaze turned to a disgusted glare.

 “Do I know you? Are you a fanboy?” She used a tone that made it sound like she was accusing him as she looked him up and down, but Casey wasn’t bothered by it. When you’ve known someone as stand-offish as her for a few years, you tend to learn how to disregard the bite in their words.

 “Sorry, we haven’t met, but I know you. I wanted to ask for-” He was interrupted as he felt a hand grab him on the shoulder and violently pull him back a few steps. He looked over his shoulder to see a very sour-faced April.

 “What are you doing?!” She whisper-screamed from behind him. Kendra raised a brow as she took another glance at her phone, but it seemed to falter at whatever she was reading. Casey noticed.

 “This is Kendra, THE Purple Dragon. She could help Donnie with the pod.” Casey explained in a whisper for Kendra not to overhear with a way too cheerful smile on his face for April’s liking. April mimicked Kendra’s brow raise from a few moments ago, full of skepticism and some disbelief. She glanced at Kendra and then back to Casey.

 “Oh, yeah? Kendra? The girl I have known since elementary school, the one who would trick an old lady into letting her help her cross the road and rob her blind before she got to the other end of the crosswalk? Yeah, let's ask her for help and bring her into the lair and Dee’s lab where she will totally swear not to break or steal any of his stuff.” April deadpanned at Casey as he nodded. Kendra cleared her throat, rolling her eyes as they both looked at her.

 “Look, do you need something fanboy or can I go back to ignoring you?” Kendra asked with clear annoyance in her voice, not even looking at them anymore as her eyes were trained on the glowing screen of her phone, typing away to whoever she was texting. Casey had an idea of who she was talking to, and who she was talking about. He wanted to gain her trust to get her to help the turtles get Leo back, it would also take a lot of strain off of Donnie if he had another computer wiz helping him.

 He had to convince her to help without sabotaging them, he already knew everyone’s extensive history with the turtles, Leo liked to hold grudges even if he didn’t let it affect his role as the leader of the resistance, but no reformed villain went without their history logged in case of betrayal. This was a massive opportunity, Casey was used to the idea of building allies, even if the histories were stark, they needed Kendra to get Leo back. But how would he convince someone as skeptical and selfish as her to be willing to help without any strings attached?

 Casey decided he would have to tell her the truth, it was probably more complicated than any lie he could fabricate, but if he used his knowledge of what happened to the other dragons, maybe it would be enough to convince her, at least this once. April was going to hang him out to dry though if this didn’t work.

 “So, uh, this is going to be hard to believe, but I am from the fu-” April slapped a hand on his mouth as he started to pour it all out into the open, her eyes going wide and crazy as she stared at him.

 “Are you insane?” Was what her expression told him clear as day. Casey gave her a pleading look and she gave up, letting go of his face.

 “I have to convince her to help, I have to tell her the truth,” Casey explained, “It’s the only way to get her on our side, at least for a couple of days.” He tried to convince April, who was still giving him a wide-eyed I-Can’t-Believe-You’re-Doing-This look.

Kendra wasn’t paying attention, still typing away on her phone as Casey went to try again, but he noticed how worried her expression became with her eyebrows coming together as she frowned, biting her lip.

 “It’s your brother, isn’t it?” Casey asked, once again, without thinking. Kendra’s eyes went wide before they grew fierce again.

 “Wow. A real fanboy. You know he isn’t my real brother, right?” Kendra snapped a little too harshly, Casey recognized the hurt in her voice. It was rare for her to ever bring up the other members of the purple dragons in his timeline, they hadn’t made it long during the Krang invasion. Casey remembered the few times she talked about them, alongside those who talked about the ones they lost and missed, he remembered how lonely she had been without them.

 She might’ve been course and rude and kept everyone at arm-length, but she had a family in that group, and they were gone after the invasion. Casey felt a little bad about it, but he had to take advantage of knowing what happened to them.

 “It doesn’t matter. You’re worried about him, right? Is he okay? Did he get hurt?” Casey asked as gently as he could, Kendra was a ticking time bomb of anger most of the time, but he hoped she was less volatile at a younger age. She eyed him with suspicion, lowering her phone just a fraction as she finally gave him her attention.

 “Do you know something I don’t, fanboy?” Kendra asked him with that same accusing tone, hiding her phone in her jacket pocket as if he had learned it from there.

 “I know that you’re worried about your brother and your friend.” Casey ignored the implication of him not being her blood brother, but he had to find a way to connect her and Donnie’s struggles, if he could get her to empathize (which might be impossible) he could convince her to put down her guard and help Donatello with his project to save Leo. Kendra wasn’t leaning into it yet though, crossing her arms and popping out her hip.

 “Do you know me or something? What do you want?” He might as well get to the point.

 “Do you know Don-” April once again scrambled her way into the conversation to interrupt Casey.

 “Othello! You remember my good pal, Von Ryan, right?” April was sweating as she blurted Donnie’s moniker out, not quite sure why covering up his real name really mattered in the long run, but she didn’t want Casey spilling Dee’s real name without his permission, especially to Kendra of all people. Casey was downright confused by that, he had never heard that name before, but he decided to roll with it.

 Kendra’s aura completely shifted to irritation as he could’ve sworn her eye twitched.

 “Of course, how could I forget?” She said it with enough venom in her voice to take down an elephant. Casey felt more nervous from that and the wickedly innocent grin on her face, but he had to keep pushing.

 “Yeah- uh- Othello is a close friend of mine and he needs your help.” Casey started to explain. Kendra laughed, grabbing her stomach as she stagged back from them.

 “Oh-OH! No! No way he has you guys coming to beg me for help! Oh, I need to record that, can you get him to say that himself? That he needs my help?” She laughed again, causing a few passersby to glance at them curiously. Casey had an awkward smile as he waited for her to stop, but she didn’t.

 “You-HA! Do you really think I would help Othello Von Ryan? That loser!” She giggled maniacally at the thought. April rolled her eyes as she took charge.

 “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Kendra. Look, this is serious. You know how your brother is messed up or whatever, Othello is going through the same thing.” April explained in a deadpan voice, and Casey was eternally grateful for it. If anyone was able to coax something out of Kendra, future or present, it was Commander O’Neil.

 Kendra seemed to sober up after that, her laughter dying quickly as surprise crossed her expression for a few seconds before reverting back to her stand-offish glare.

 “Oh. And why would he need me?” Kendra asked, seemingly without her own permission for the words to come out as she looked sheepish about asking, her curiosity about her biggest tech-making rival supposedly needing her help taking over. April sighed dramatically.

 “Look, it's a lot to explain, the Krang came and basically took his brother- my brother too, by the way- and we can’t… Find him. Othello could use more help making his… device to find him.” April admitted, trying not to get too specific, the time would come to tell her the truth about the scale on which they can’t “find” Leo, but that wouldn’t happen if they don’t convince her first. Kendra seemed to consider it for a moment, eyeing April before looking at Casey.

 “And what do I gain from this?” Kendra asked, which April saw coming.

 “How about Othello helps you with something in return?” April offered, which she knew would definitely cause a fight between her and Donnie, but if Casey’s idea worked and everything went smoothly, this was worth the headache of anything Kendra could do. Kendra seemed interested, but still somewhat unconvinced. Casey sighed.

 “Kendra, look, we lost someone in our family. We want to get him back. We’re worried about him, we don’t know where he is or if he is safe. We just want him back home with us.” Casey was practically pleading now, and it seemed his puppy-dog demeanor was working on her, just a little. Kendra’s eyes softened a bit as she looked away, frowning. He felt like she wanted to say something, but she held back.

 “Fine. But I’m not working for free. Von Ryan better compensate me for my time like you said he would.” Kendra’s harsh glare returned as she set her terms. Casey and April both nodded.

 “I’ll text you when we’ll meet up for it.” April decided to end the interaction there, dragging Casey by his arm before he could get them into more trouble with Donatello.

[pkmnprideflags]

smash or pass: pokémon professor edition

providing you with the content markiplier is too afraid to give

Under a read more cuz this'll be long

Professor Samuel Oak (Red & Blue)

pass. i'm sorry he seems nice but he's not doing anything for me in a smash sense. would love to discuss pokémon with him tho

Dr. Mason (TCG for GameBoy Color)

it might have been a smash if not for the fact that he seems to permanently have a pokémon card stuck on his head. either he's too stupid to remove it or he's a weirdo. pass either way

Professor Elm (Gold & Silver)

he's so close to being a smash. he has the kindness, the wits, the disheveled dad energy. but something about him only triggers platonic switches in my brain. so i'm sorry, kind sir, but it's going to be a pass.

Professor Philena Ivy (anime)

pass. I understand the appeal but i would need to know what the fuck she did to traumatize brock before i could say yes

Professor Birch (Ruby & Sapphire)

you know. he's not my usual type. but something about his chaotic dork nature is appealing to me. smash

Professor Krane (Pokémon XD)

smash. i know nothing about pokémon xd but this fucker right here is ADORABLE

Professor P (Pokémon Trozei)

...if he weren't a chibi, maybe. but pass

Professor Rowan (Diamond & Pearl)

this is the first one i'm genuinely struggling with. i like his aesthetic and personality, but it's something about his face. so it's ultimately gonna be a pass but i absolutely get it

Professor Hastings (Pokémon Ranger)

like rowan, something about this guy's face is offputting to me. but somehow, it's a smash. idk he's a tad more dapper than rowan. maybe it's the cane. maybe it's the color palette.

Professor Yanase Berlitz (Pokémon Adventures)

another character i'm not super familiar with. i've read some of Adventures, but only the random disparate volumes that my public library had, which did not include the Diamond & Pearl chapters for some reason. because i know nothing about her, this is aesthetics only with no knowledge of her personality. in which case...it's a smash. she cute

Professor Aurea Juniper (Black & White)

...eh. i like her vibe and personality, but something appearance-wise isn't clicking. pass

Professor Cedric Juniper (Black & White)

snazzy dresser, but his beard is unnaturally round, pass

Dr. Fennel (Black & White)

some of her art like the one above is really cute but in other drawings she looks like one of those danganronpa girls who is secretly a perverted murderer. so pass

Professor Holly (TCG Online)

pass, she looks like she's about to tell my mom that i'm a smart kid, really, i am, but i just need to apply myself more

Professor Augustine Sycamore (X & Y)

S M A S H. The hardest smash in existence. I got Pokémon X as a Christmas present when I was like 14 and this man Awakened things in me

Professor Tetra (Pokémon Picross)

insufficient data because she has no official art and her sprites are chibi pixels. i can neither smash nor pass

Professor Kukui (Sun & Moon)

smash. he's self-confident. he's smart. he's loving to his wife. my only complaint is that his shoes are ugly, otherwise he's a solid 10

Professor Burnet (technically originally from Dream Radar but that game wasn't popular so shut up)

smash. absolute queen. she and kukui are the ultimate power couple change my mind

Professor Samson Oak (Sun & Moon)

closer than his cousin, but still a pass

Mohn (Sun & Moon)

i'm gonna say pass but only because i would want to have a date with him first. i need more info to decide if i want to go all the way to smash town

Professor Willow (Pokémon Go)

smash. originally i wasn't into him but then it was revealed that he's canonically shy and prefers to spend time alone in nature and he instantly became 700 times hotter. i dont make the rules of thirst, i just am tossed around by them haphazardly

Professor Magnolia (Sword & Shield)

pass, not my type. bonus points for the corviknight cane tho

Sonia (Sword & Shield)

pass. i get the sense that most people like her character, but honestly? not that into her. (however please note that i am only like 3 gyms into pkmn shield because i got it for christmas but have been focusing most of my playing onto my crystal catch-em-all so i haven't had time to get very far in it)

Professor Cerise (anime)

smash, i haven't watched journeys but he's fuckin adorable

Professor Bellis (Pokémon Masters EX)

pass. would be a smash if not for the hair. (also not relevant but fun fact i ship her with sycamore)

Professor Amaranth (anime)

my initial reactions are mixed. he's a little older than I usually go for, but i like his face. so smash i guess

Professor Mirror (New Pokémon Snap)

also on the fence here. his hair is weird but otherwise he's a certified hottie. a cautious smash

Professor Phorus (Pokémon Unite)

i really like her dress but she looks depressed. pass

Professor Laventon (Pokémon Legends: Arceus)

Originally I thought this was gonna be a pass but then i saw this concept art of him without his hat and it became a smash. once again, i don't make or even understand the rules that my brain operates under

Professor Sada (Scarlet)

for some reason my gut instinct is to be on the fence, but ultimately i'll go smash because of just how cool her outfit is

Professor Turo (Violet)

[i have hit the post image limit so you'll have to either imagine or google the rest]

smash, he's the futuristic gigachad we all need in these trying times

Friede (anime)

smaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash

Professor Neroli (Pokémon Sleep)

SMASH HE'S SO HUGGABLE AND PLEASANT LOOKING

[mahdithemagician]

The Best Platform For A Virtual Event

WHAT IS THE BEST ONLINE PLATFORM FOR A VIRTUAL MAGIC SHOW

Before I started performing online virtual events like my virtual magic show I did research and observed what others were doing both inside and outside of my industry. One of the common things I saw events doing was streaming the event on multiple platforms simultaneously. For instance, let’s say that the main event was taking place over Zoom the host would also be streaming the event live over Instagram, Facebook and Youtube at the same time. The idea is simple; each company, brand, or school has different people following their accounts so if you want them to all see the event live then it’s best to stream it on all these platforms so that you have more eyes on the event.

The problem is that even though you technically have more viewers, a portion of them do not get full functionality and participation. Some streaming software is able to pull live comments from Facebook and Youtube and send them directly to you in real time but how does that compare to them part of your online video conference?

Let’s take a look. When I have an online virtual show I am usually using Zoom or Google Meet and I instruct everyone to turn on their video and microphone is they can. At certain moments I may spotlight individuals or groups (pin their video and display them to the room) to feature our interaction. During this time I may be giving them instructions with a deck of cards or other small objects or reading their minds. I encourage the audience to react appropriately and let everyone know their applause or amazement is not intrusive to the show because just like an in person event I generally know when people will laugh or applaud and it adds to the atmosphere of the event. Some people may choose to respond during the show through the chat feature and type their response and reaction and send an emoji to all of us. We appreciate all the interaction and participation but at the end of the day we know that the more we use the technology to bring us closer together the better and more personal the event will be. Typing a few words and emojis is nowhere near as powerful as looking into people’s eyes and engaging with them face to face.

When I studied the data I found that audiences and groups were more responsive, engaged and passionate when they are in the moment of an event and taking part in it. I decided that the best way for people to enjoy my online virtual magic shows is to require them to be in the room with me live while the event is happening.

I stopped offering my clients to stream it live on all their different social media platform accounts and instead focused on having the best possible online event take place over one platform. That way I can see everyone in the room, talk to them and have them engage me over video live. This was not a tough decision to make because instead of seeming to offer less I am in reality offering more. I am offering everyone to come together and have an equal opportunity to costar in our online event. They don’t need to just be an anonymous commenter they can share the screen and co-star in the magic show or inspirational event.

At the same time I didn’t abandon all the other social media platforms available to us but instead I focused on working with my clients to using those specific platforms as effectively as possible. I created content specifically tailored to Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube to engage their followers and promote our events. On Instagram, we would make visual 15 second videos for their Instagram Stories and on Youtube we would post a 5-10 minute video with an interactive piece of magic and promote our event. Everything that we made was designed on brand with how my clients present themselves and want to be seen. We used every single platform to preview our events and funnel people to our live, online virtual events.

Now I perform my virtual magic show, Magic In Your Hands, through Zoom, Google Meet, or a video conferencing platform of the client’s choice. We keep the event on a single platform and use every other platform as a driver to our show and events.

[in-peryl]

in today's news: i have made myself extremely anxious bc i'm having a formal 1 on 1 meeting with my boss tomorrow for the first time since he told me to drop out 😔

[liz-allyn]

shudder; part 6/6 [agent mobius x reader]

Series Summary: Pre-Loki series. You are one of the most dangerous variants the TVA has ever recovered, but Mobius knows what makes you tick. Five times he made you shudder, and the one time you returned the favor.

Words: 4.4k

Chapter Warnings/Tags: smut, language, soft daddy kink, sex in otherwise unsanitary conditions, writer's horribly pathetic attempt at dirty talk

A/N: Here it is guys. I struggled with this chapter a lot, also mad respect for gn!writers. I don't think I succeeded in keeping it neutral (welcoming feedback on how I can improve) so I removed that tag.

You watched a small fire crackle in the darkness of an elevator shaft, being used as a chimney. Rain spilled down the walls, running over old steel and concrete, but at least you were no longer in it.

Once you had had the strength to move off the beach, you found a footpath scaling up the face of the cliff which led to an abandoned mining post.

The population of Olympus-V had steady decline for decades, either by migration, poverty, or famine. The planet had been practically barren for years, save for some mining operations to squeeze the last of the planet’s natural resources.

It was in one of those posts where you were now taking refuge with Mobius. You sat on the ground near the elevator shaft, your clothes still soaked, while Mobius fiddled around with building a fire. You wrapped your arms tightly around yourself and tried to keep your teeth from chattering.

“You know how many centuries it took early man on Earth to figure out fire?” Mobius mused as he tended to the flames. “I mean, it’s not a competition or anything, but other civilizations had it down in like a few decades, max.”

You rolled your eyes miserably. “I got him killed, you know,” you replied, not having the energy to follow Mobius into another one of his “fun-facts-about-history” rabbit holes. You’d been quiet for a while, with Mobius having to hold both ends of the conversation. The grim tone in your voice gave him pause.

“The new guy,” you clarified, your tone flat as you spoke of your deceased partner. The last time you and Mobius had spoken, he had sang his praises. “It was only our fourth mission together and he’s dead. Because of me.”

Mobius sighed and turned away from you, “That’s one interpretation.” He dropped another piece of coal into the flame and came to a stand. “Or,” he added, “you could say he was a great analyst who made rational, competent choices and was working with the best data he had. The fact that he trusted you doesn’t make him any less responsible for the outcome.”

He idly wiped his hands on his pants, carrying on and providing no harbor for your self-pity, “I probably would’ve done the same thing.”

“No. You wouldn’t.” Your tone was icy. “Because you weren’t there.” You glared at him from across the smallish room you were huddled in, bitterness souring your voice. “You sent me away, remember?”

He let out an exasperated sigh, rolling his head slightly. “I had no other choice,” he parroted the same old response.

That wasn’t an answer that satisfied you. At all.

“Why?” you bit back with a mocking tone, coming to a quick stand. You pulled no punches. “Because the TVA told you to? Because if the Time Lords—”

“—Time Keepers—”

“—Time Fascists,” you hissed, “think that I have a crush on you, they'll zap me out of my useless existence?”

He glanced over at you, smirking with his head tilted slightly. He replied with a voice as sweet as caramel, “Are you saying you have a crush on me?”

Your shoulders dropped. “You’re insufferable.” You turned away, wishing you could find a different mine.

“Hey, considering my recent valiant and heroic efforts to rescue you,” he replied, “you’d think you’d be a little nicer to me.” You let out an exhausted sigh, but he kept going - cool as a cucumber. “I thought we had a thing going there. I mean - first, you kiss me—”

You spun on your heel. “Kiss you!?” you scoffed.

“Yeah,” he drawled. “On the beach.”

“I was resuscitating you!” you argued. “You call that a kiss?”

He shrugged innocently, a sparkle in his eyes. “Well, I wasn’t going to say anything,” he responded matter-of-factly. “But, uh, yeah - it was a little underwhelming.”

He grinned slyly. You wanted to simultaneously melt into him and burn him alive. You scoffed, shaking your head incredulously.

“What was the point?” you exclaimed. “What’s the point of rescuing me if I’m nothing but a - a tool? A blunt hammer for the TVA to snuff out anyone that steps out of line?”

The pain in your voice was unmistakable, and Mobius dropped his playful banter.

“You think I’ve enjoyed spending the last - however long it's been - hopping around the timeline hunting people who are no different than me?” Your heart ached with every word, “You think I enjoy killing?”

“No,” he answered, weighed with guilt, “I don’t.”

Your rage flared. “Then why won’t you just let me go!?”

“I can’t,” he quietly explained, eyes cast down. He wouldn’t even look at you.

Fuck this infuriatingly charming, cowardly little TVA sheep-whore.

You felt the venom pooling on your tongue. “God! You’re such a company man, aren’t y—”

“I can’t!” he raised his voice in a way that you’d never heard before, stunning you into silence. He lifted his gaze and looked at you solemnly, his expression filled with regret. His words were weak, broken - barely above a whisper. “...Let you go.”

You stared blankly at him, reading the tragedy written on his features. With his defenses down, you could clearly see every word: I don’t want to let you go. I need you, forever. You are mine and I am yours and nothing else makes sense beyond that. I’d do anything to keep you safe.

Were those his thoughts, or yours? You didn’t know anymore.

Mobius reached up quickly and loosened his tie, before deftly undoing the buttons of his shirt.

You were staring like a deer in the headlights. “Wha-Wai-what are you doing?” you blurted uncomfortably with a furrowed brow.

He rolled his eyes. “Not catching hypothermia, if that’s alright with you,” he snarkily said as he pulled off his jacket and shirt, revealing a soaked white undershirt beneath. You remembered that you both were freezing and wet. “I’m drying my clothes by the fire. We still have 10 hours and 23 minutes until we hit the radiation peak.”

Ah yes, you had almost forgotten.

Ten hours until the end of the world, or at least of Olympus-V. And because Mobius’ TempPad was unbelievably conveniently out of juice, and unable to open another Time Door, you were pretty sure you had about the same amount of time left to exist.

Mobius confidently felt otherwise. He rattled on some jargon about needing a massive source of energy to power the TempPad - something about electromagnetic waves, solar bursts, radiation of a dying star, the “sweet spot” between a steady charge and a gruesome death. You honestly stopped listening back at the beach.

You were too busy questioning his motives and your own. Were you happy that Mobius was trapped with you, about to be swallowed by the sun? Or were you furious that he idiotically ran right into an apocalypse and now you both were going to die.

He quipped that at least that technically made him a hero; maybe he’d get a plaque in the TVA cafeteria. You would’ve made some kind of cheeky comeback, but you were already dying inside at that devastating thought.

“Not to be too forward, but you should probably do the same,” Mobius added, bringing you back to the present situation where he was undressing in front of you. “You’re shaking like a chihuahua right now.”

You were about to question the puzzling thought of him being in a place in time to observe a chihuahua, but then he pulled his wet t-shirt over his head. You turned your gaze away reflexively as soon as you spotted human flesh.

Here you were - former soldier, mercenary, and spy, and fearsome hunter of the Time Variance Authority - blushing like a shrinking violet. It’s not that he didn’t have a point, it was just--fuck, he’s undoing his belt— is this real life right now?

“Don’t worry,” he scoffed flippantly. “I’ll even turn my back to preserve your innocence and sanctity.”

He was being facetious but it made you wonder if he had any idea how un-sanctified you were. Your eyes widened at the thought: Did he watch that on the highlight reel too?

Now he was pulling his slacks off, and you were tracking in real time again. He kept his promise and had his back to you, allowing you the privacy to undress. And you did.

You peaked over your shoulder to see him lay his clothes out in front of the flames. He dragged over an old canvas tarp he’d found - pieces of which he’d stripped off for kindling - and moved it to a safe proximity from the fire. He sat down in the middle of the tarp, pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around him.

And he kept his underwear on - boxer briefs, you’d called it - not that you were trying to look below his waist or anything.

Once he was at rest, he rubbed his hands over his bare arms to create friction. You mirrored his steps one-by-one, until you were also sitting in your underwear on the canvas with your bare backs inches apart.

You both were quiet for a long time, facing opposite directions, surrounded by the cold darkness, and the sound of trickling water. You could still hear the waves thrashing and the rain bartering on the rocks outside. The crackle of the fire - the way the flame danced and dimly lit your surroundings, brought you a sense of peace. It was almost... romantic. Even if it was the end of the world.

“I know this is my fault,” Mobius declared, breaking the silence. You could hear struggle in his voice. “I know I was supposed to stay within my lane. My purpose is to preserve and protect the timeline, and that’s it, it’s just....” He sighed, and you listened carefully, hanging on his words. Was this doubt?

It sounded like he was trying to understand himself. “Something’s different now,” he explained, with a little bit of wonder and fear. “When we’re together, I feel… like I’m someone else. And I’m not who I was before. Before you.”

You quietly listened, thinking about how much you identified with what he was saying.

“My head is telling me it’s all wrong,” he said, “that I’m making a mistake. That I’m playing with fire.” His next thoughts brought the tiniest grin to his otherwise grim voice. “When I’m with you… I feel like a dope… Reckless.” The smile faded as his thoughts sobered him. “Dangerous.”

In the silence that followed, you wondered again whose thoughts you were hearing - his or yours.

“How can something that feels so right be wrong?” he mused openly - for you, the Time Keepers, and all the Sacred Timeline - to hear.

The question that hung heavy in the air had such a clear answer, of which you were certain. Your mind raced trying to think of how to respond, how to explain. You simply couldn’t find the words.

So you turned your body towards him. You reached over Mobius’ shoulder gently to cup the side of his face, and pulled him into a kiss.

It was slow and chaste, projecting every intention and emotion that you lacked the words to describe. Each time you moved your lips, you took another breath; you wrote another line of your love letter to him. He sank deeper into your kiss, as your souls tangled and caught fire.

And then you felt it.

You were positioned behind him, with his back to your chest when a burst of lightning crawled up his spine. A desperate shudder racked his body. He pulled away from you breathlessly, his eyes closed, as you both panted and glowed with the heat of the moment.

“If I didn’t know any better,” your lips curled into a sultry smile, “I’d say I was making you nervous.”

He opened his dark bronze eyes at that, drinking you in. He couldn’t help but mirror your mischievous smirk. In an instant, he snatched you up and pulled you onto his lap. You kissed him hungrily, straddling him, as his hands glided over your body.

Your mind went foggy, as any composure you had in the situation was evaporating. His lustful kisses scorched your skin as they traveled down your neck. He lifted you higher so that he could drink more of you in. You gasped and sighed at how your body reacted to him, your fingers digging into his scalp. He groaned with pleasure as he found your open mouth again, your tongue a welcoming partner.

He pulled you in tighter, your hips grinding further into him. You felt his want, hard against your body, and you felt the last of your innocence pooling between your legs. The friction made you let out an un-sanctified moan, breaking away from his kiss. The sound of your voice intoxicated him.

You were in a controlled descent backwards as he lowered you to your back.

When did you start trembling? Has it really been that long since your last time?

Your hands danced across his chest, triggering goosebumps. Even his skin wanted you. You writhed beneath him as he positioned himself between your legs. You were bursting like a firecracker with anxious need. Your hands groped him, nails gently grazing - traveling down his torso and beneath the waistband of his boxers.

He gasped as your fingers wrapped around his organ, fluttering his eyes shut at your touch. You were on autopilot, your physical need in command of your body, as you attempted to pull his stiff erection from his boxers.

Mobius snatched your hands and you froze. He pulled your arms up, grasping your hands tightly, and pinned your wrists to the floor on either side of your head. You were hit with a wave of confusion, followed by shame.

Maybe you’d read this wrong. You looked up at him, half-expecting to read an expression of disgust.

What you found was the opposite.

His eyes— gentle, dark, and focused intently on you— telegraphed a message for you to read carefully:

You were not the one in control here.

You felt the wind of butterflies deep in your core as you realized he had clear goals for you in mind. He was asking you - imploring you - for command of your body. For the record, he already had it - whether or not either of you were conscious of it.

You lay still, save for your chest’s gentle movements, as his eyes unravelled the layers of your being. Trapped in his gaze, you were stripped bare in more than just flesh.

You were time travelling again - years into the past. The pages of your chapters fell away, until you felt like a pupil again, watching your master navigating the geography of your body.

His grip softened, giving your palms an affectionate squeeze before he released your hands. His leering gaze was already gliding down your valleys, and his hands followed, letting his fingertips brush the delicate flesh of your forearms as they travelled.

All your mind could do to focus was count your every breath as his touch and kisses grazed your skin. You wondered how long it had been for him. You quivered at the thought of him planning this moment.

He took time tasting you with each kiss - down your chest, your belly, the crest of your hips. You lifted your core with his encouragement, allowing him to pull away your last remaining piece of clothing. You were finally unveiled before him. He sighed softly, mind buzzing, as he delicately spread your legs apart.

He moved so slowly with intention, relishing each moment. You were on the verge of losing it and he had yet to touch your most sensitive areas. He could feel your hips squirm with anticipation.

“I want you,” he pacified you, “more than anything.” He tenderly kissed the inside of your thigh. “But I need to know that you want this too. Without a doubt in your mind.”

You were desperate by this point, way past “willing.” Regardless, he met your eyes, waiting patiently for your consent.

You were consumed with lust. “Please,” you stuttered in passionate exhilaration. You could barely recognize your own voice, “You can do anything you want to me.”

His face twitched into a sinful smirk. “I know.” There was that confidence again. “But that’s not what I asked.” He steadied his composure and fixed himself in your sights once again. You gazed at him with a more sobered expression, giving this moment the respect he wanted.

He watched your lips now that he had your attention. “Tell me you want me to make you feel good,” he seductively implored. “Tell me you want me to take you, here and now. I need to hear you say yes.”

The way he asked for your consent could’ve put you over the edge by itself.

“Yes,” you practically moaned under your breath. It was a sinful, thirsty plea. “God, yes, please. I want you to touch me.”

That ignited his fuse.

He lowered to his elbows, positioning his arms beneath your legs. His mouth was on you, leaving you aghast at the force. It was like he wanted more than just to please you - he relished in devouring you, like a frozen dessert on a hot summer day. You jolted and gasped, more from surprise than pain. He took note anyway, and steadied his animalistic pace.

It wasn’t long until your eyes were rolled in the back of your head. You were thunderstruck, arching your body and moaning with ecstasy.

The way his name sounded each time it sprang from your lips made him drunk. Every time you uttered it, you felt him tense and groan. It was a perpetual cycle. Your hips would reflexively buck from the intense pleasure and he would just hold on tighter. He forced your thighs apart as you encouraged him to unleash more rapture on your body.

This was not a particularly new position for you, but it was good. You weren’t sure where he got the experience, but he was really, really good.

And if “Sacred-you”— “NC-17-rated,” “parental-advisory-warning-labelled” badass-you—could just see yourself now: writhing on the floor while being laid out by an older man, one whom you’d rarely seen out of a brown suit and tie. You didn’t think this man knew how to fire a gun before, but you were practically mewling for him like a kitten.

And god, he really seemed to enjoy it.

You warned him that you couldn’t last much longer. You felt the tension building inside. You wanted desperately to satisfy him, to feel him inside of you, to have him enraptured with you. But unless he slowed down, you were going to lose it right here with his mouth on you. You knew he had needs, and you began to plead with him to let you fulfill them.

You pushed down on his shoulders, begging him to let you have a turn. He pulled away, pausing only briefly.

“Uh uh,” he chastised you with a wicked grin. “I’m not finished with you yet.”

He was back on you before you could reply, this time reaching two of his fingers into your core.

Your head dropped backwards at the sensation, and now you were obscenely begging him for more. You’d happily given up any attempt at controlling what happened next, focusing solely on the nuclear fission in your body.

You blossomed for him as his fingertips pulsed on the most sensitive flesh inside inside you. Muscles you didn’t even remember you had repeatedly contracted. He impurely hummed and he lapped greedily at the fruit of his labor.

You were gasping for air, beaded with sweat, as you came down from your high. He leaned over you to witness the sunset of your orgasm. Eyes full of lust, he pulled himself free of his boxers and discarded them as he watched you.

When you glanced down to see the stunning sight of his stimulation, it re-electrified you. You pulled yourself into a sitting position on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your legs straddled him eagerly as he lifted your hips over his member.

The erotic sound you both made as you slid down his shaft was sinful enough to cast you both into hell. You kissed him, open-mouthed, and tasted yourself on his tongue. Now that you were on top of him, wrapped around him, he seemed more frantic and less calculated with his movement.

He was gazing up at you like a lustful teenage boy, letting himself be taken by passion. “God...” he whispered, suddenly less skilled with words. “You feel so... ah!... s-so beautiful...”

“You’re so hard…stretching me so tight,” you groaned into his mouth, and he growled in agreement, nodding his head.

He broke away from the kiss, “God - yes, ah, you’re s-so tight, baby...” You grinned excitedly as you climbed and descended his length. You moaned like a porn star as you rode him.

“I can call you that, can’t I?” he said through his own breathless moans. You glanced at him in confusion. He looked concerned. His hands braced your hips as you continued your movement. “Is that okay?”

“Wha-what?”

“The pet name,“ he explained through sighs, “B-Baby? I-I don’t want it to sound de-demeaning, or... patronizing—”

Okay. Now he was overthinking it.

“It’s fine,” you urged him to move on, growing more frustrated, but now he was babbling nervously.

“I could call you something else—”

“—don’t care—”

“—’s’important to me that you know I respect you, and I’d never—”

“I don’t care, I—You can call me whatever you want. Please, daddy… Just— fuck me…”

You crashed your lips on his, but felt his breath hitch as he tensed you immediately. You either said something very right, or very wrong. The sex had all but come to a screeching halt, as you reluctantly met his eyes.

He gazed at you thoughtfully, gears turning.

Timidly, you searched his face for judgment, for any sign of disapproval, but instead, there was a look of almost— awe.

You watched the change in him as the devil overtook him. His eyes turned three shades darker, pooling with lust. His expression of wonder melted into a devious smile. Your dirty talk awakened something in him, like he was remembering a long-forgotten visceral part of himself.

He scooped you up and laid you on your back again, pulling himself out of your body. You only had a brief time to revolt, until he sat up on his knees and he lifted one of your thighs up, pulling your leg over his shoulder. You watched curiously trying to figure out what he was doing, until he gripped your hips and pulled you downward— over his shaft.

You let out a painfully delicious cry as he bottomed out inside of you. He hungrily watched your expressions and relished in the sound of your moans.

His hand braced the inside of your other thigh, holding your legs open so that you were spread at the right angle for him. As soon as he began to thrust, you were done for.

You groaned with ecstasy. “That’s... it..,” he praised you, eliciting more cries from you.

There were no more performances. There was no more pageantry. No more room for pretending to be anyone other than who you are.

You were coming undone for him, and he watched every moment. Every dirty thought and fantasy you ever had might as well have been written on your body. He studied each line.

“Oh god, Mobius—yes,” you babbled as you squirmed.

“Yeah?” he breathed, teasingly. “Does that feel good?” You nodded frantically.

Sweat beaded down his chest as his hands roamed to find your sweet spot, and another desperate wave of ‘yes’s flooded out from your lips.

“What did you call me?” he enticed, his mouth watering for your response. “What name did you call me before?” You were struggling with words, but he wouldn’t stop until he coaxed the right one from you.

“Say it.”

You tangled your fingers in your scalp, turning your head away. He thrust into your hips a little deeper, and you cried out obscenely.

“Say it,” he repeated, more firmly this time. “I wanna hear you say it again. I wanna watch you say it to me.”

More lewd noises dropped out of your mouth, as you propped yourself up on your elbows. “Yes, please, I love what’re… doing t’ me… I need it, daddy…”

He groaned with a lecherous smile, biting his lip. “You are so good for me.”

Lust was dripping from each word as he drew them out. His honeyed, Southern accent had returned. His eyes were blown black as he cooed with praise, “You make me wanna be so bad.”

You were gone after that. Your head tilted back, crying out through another climax. He could hear his own voice—that’s it that’s it—moaning in the distance somewhere, but he was enthralled with your little pleas. The tones of your voice washed over him; he used them to quell the blaze inside.

He knew everything he wanted to do to you, and everything you wanted him to do. And he couldn’t get past the feeling, as he buried himself deeper inside of you, that this was all... familiar.

This picture of you, spread out gloriously beneath him, was impossibly familiar. He imagined a bed that wasn’t his own, and light blue cotton sheets that couldn’t have been his, and the sunlight peeking from a sheer curtain, and falling across the ecstasy-filled face of his lover that he couldn’t have ever married...

That was....you.

Your voice was echoing in Mobius’ head. You whined and whimpered, glowing with passion, signaling that you were moments away from your climax. And then he was here - on Olympus-V with you, and he felt you tighten and flutter around him.

The sight of you, writhing beneath him as you reached orgasm, pulled a deep moan from his chest. White hot light flooded his vision. His body jerked and reacted in unison, filling you with his seed.

For someone for whom time had little meaning, he was now obsessed - trying to catch and hold back each fleeting moment. He leaned forward, his body spent, and you pulled his chin down into a longing kiss.

His mind was spinning. His lungs were still taking deep breaths. He pulled away slowly and rested his forehead on yours, his eyes closed as he struggled to make sense of what was real and what was a dream.

“I could never let you go,” he declared, deep in contemplation. You didn’t quite understand the connection in the present moment. You didn’t remember.

“Then stay with me,” was your gentle reply.

He gazed once again into your eyes with a knowing smile. “Always.”

A/N: And I'm leaving it there. For now. Please reblog with feedback, or send me a message on your thoughts. This is my first attempt at writing in a long, long time. Also it's my first attempt at smut so be nice with your feedback :-)

THANK YOU to all of you for your wonderful comments. Please reblog for support!

@generalhugzzz @isaxbella749 @yodaboo @aloyssia @simsiddy @coloursforyourportrait

[xiaomoxu]

Lucien - Standstill Date

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

A date from CN server which hasn’t been released on EN server yet.

This date came up with 7 chapter of prologue. All combine in one post~

Translations under the cuts~

🦋PROLOGUE🦋 Part 1 - Road to creation

After picking up my phone and ordering overtime meals, I clicked on some industry news.

"The authoritative director of the film and television industry cooperated with a production company for the first time, and the project received S+ level investment..."

"The big names in the industry have teamed up with the MC Company, and the next popular work is scheduled! Hot discussion in the circle: Are you optimistic about the cooperation between Luo Dao and MC Company this time?"

MC: "I always feel that the exclusive MC Company has grown too fast, and we can see its true strength by handling this big case..."

MC: That's right, we are just trying to take this opportunity to make a big splash.

I looked back at the brightly lit office area. It's late at night, but the colleagues involved in this project are still working enthusiastically.

As soon as the project was negotiated, it has already received much attention, let alone the final presentation. For such an important cooperation, we must hand in perfect answers.

So I strictly arranged the daily work schedule and decided to proceed according to the plan without distraction.

Even if Lucien came to "tempt" me, I wouldn't be shaken, there's no distractions!

I secretly clenched a fist and was about to put down my phone to continue working hard when a phone rang suddenly .

Seeing the name flashing on the screen, I was amazed and cleared my throat before picking it up.

MC: What is Professor Lucien's instructions?

Lucien: With such a serious tone, are you in a meeting?

MC: No, it's just that there is still some work that hasn't been done, and it is necessary to maintain a good working condition.

Lucien: Sorry, it seems that my call came at the wrong time.

MC: Pftㅡ No need to apologize, I was joking.

MC: But now you can't urge me to get off work, I have to insist that today's things be done today.

Lucien: Well, I support the persistence of big producers.

Lucien: However, I want to say another thing.

MC: Hm?

Lucien: I have arrived home, and I will continue to do some data analysis tonight, and I won't go to bed too early.

Lucien: So, remember to call me when you decide to get off work, I'll come to pick you up.

MC: But isn't that will interrupt your works? Just wait for me at home!

Lucien: If you don't agree, I always think about your situation, which really interrupts my thoughts.

Lucien: Although you are very busy now, I also want to participate in your plan.

Lucien: Will the big producer give me this opportunity?

The phone was a little hot, and the low noise of Lucien seemed to become warm, tickling my heart.

Almost subconsciously, I agreed to his words and continued.

MC: Then I'm sorry to Professor Lucien. It's about 10 o'clock, and I will contact you again when I finished my works.

Lucien: Okay, then I won't bother you.

Lucien: I wish the big producer all the best tonight, and remember... don’t get distracted.

There was a smile in the voice in my ear, and I subconsciously raised my voice.

MC: I, I won't! Then I will continue to work, bye!

As if running away, I hung up the phone. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my heart beating after being dismantled.

In fact, I don't want to let him pick me up, but I am worried that I will surrender in advance because I am looking forward to seeing him...

Lucien flashed through my mind, with eyebrows crooked, I shook my head vigorously, and reopened the unfinished document.

MC: MC, No distraction!

Part 2 - The beginning of the challenge

I returned to the office with a stack of documents, and as soon as I opened the door, I saw a familiar figure sitting on the sofa.

MC: Lucien? Why are you coming over?

Lucien: Taking advantage of the lunch break to invite you to lunch together, it shouldn't be considered a violation of the rules.

Maybe it's because I've been so busy lately that I forget to eat. Lucien helps me order takeaways on time every day, but it's the first time he has come here in person like this.

He took the documents in my arms, took out a lunch box from the thermos bag and handed it to me.

Lucien: Did the morning meeting go well?

MC: Don't mention it, there are a lot of problems uncovered in less than twenty minutes...

MC: I thought we were already fully prepared, but Luo Dao thought of more than us.

Lucien: It seems that the big producer is going to climb a higher mountain.

Lucien: Are all these materials for you to learn next?

MC: Mmhm, I want to get familiar with the work process of the new team as soon as possible.

MC: There are many team members in this project, all of whom are experienced seniors. I also want to keep up with everyone as soon as possible.

Lucien handed me a pair of chopsticks, supported his chin and watched me eat.

Lucien: Don't be too anxious, you have already got this opportunity, it means that the next task is also within your ability.

Lucien: At least during your lunch break, let's concentrate on rest first.

I nodded, put a big mouthful of rice in my mouth, and let out a contented sigh.

MC: Sure enough, there's nothing more comforting than a warm lunch!

Lucien: Is it just the lunch?

I caught a glimpse of his expressions knowingly asking, and I filled him with a spoonful of food.

MC: Of course, there is the most caring Professor Lucien in the world! Unexpectedly, you will come to dine with me specially.

I smiled and looked at Lucien. He puffed his cheeks and chewed hard for a while before he swallowed the spoonful I fed.

Lucien: Before, you always came to the institute to give me a warm meal. In caring for people, I still need to learn more from the teacher MC.

Lucien: So I will be here with you until afternoon, for today.

MC: Then I will accept Professor Lucien’s offer without hesitation.

I moved to a position next to Lucien, and he naturally opened his arms to embrace me.

Before the work in the afternoon starts, just lean on his side for a while.

Part 3 - Camera and Stage supervision

The tense scheduling adjustment made the afternoon time pass quickly, and there was no outdoor scene in the studio.

It was not until I received the moon photographed by Lucien that I realized that the sky was already dark.

The perspective in the photo seems to be the balcony at home. Is this a disguised reminder to leave work?

The on-site director was performing the final lighting adjustment. I raised my phone, took a photo of the stage lighting and sent it to Lucien

MC: "I only have an electronic moon, TuT, or the moon I saw at home is relatively round."

Lucien: "Then I will bring this moon to pick you up, how about it?"

MC: ? What does it mean...

There was a call from the live director not far away. I quickly replied "OK" and ran to my colleagues.

When I came out of the studio, the coolness of the late night quickly covered my skin.

The moon had risen to the top of the head, and the clear dim light reflected a figure waiting on the side of the road.

I bid farewell to my colleagues and ran to Lucien quickly. The moonlight fell on him and reflected in his eyes, as if it was really brought by him.

I looked around him carefully, Lucien's eyebrows curled up, letting me watch.

Lucien: What are you looking at?

MC: It’s just "Appreciation of the Moon".

MC: Staring at the camera and various lights for a whole day today, I was a little bit visually tired.

MC: Thanks to you for bringing the "moon" here, I feel better now.

Lucien stretched out his hand and rubbed the top of my head, then leaned down to touch my forehead.

Lucien: Me too.

Lucien: The big producer has not left me much time lately. I have to remember the way you are now.

Lucien: In this way, I will be able to see you when I watch the moon in the future

The heat from his breath fell on my cheeks and I closed my eyes subconsciously.

The moonlight tonight is extraordinarily beautiful.

Part 4 - Program Content Control

The atmosphere in the conference room is a bit unusually heavy, and everyone lowered their heads to sketch on the paper.

I scanned the document surrounded by comments again, and sighed with some headaches.

Although a lot of details have been emphasized during the previous meeting and discussion, when it was presented in the specific program design, there were still endless problems.

This situation is actually expected, but because of the tight time, I may have a harder tone when "picking faults" for everyone.

I looked around secretly, and everyone in the room bowed their heads to avoid my sight. I had to get up with my mobile phone and left the conference room temporarily.

-Then click on Lucien's dialog box and describe the situation to him.

MC: Everyone looks so nervous... can this really inspire a new ideas?

Lucien: Changing attitudes and emphasizing principles occasionally will make people immediately pay attention to the immediate matter.

Lucien: And I think everyone is just getting used to your kind treatment, and suddenly they are a little uncomfortable.

MC: Okay, then I'll wait a little longer outside.

MC: But Lucien, I'm a little curious, have you ever treated colleagues and students in a similar way?

Lucien: If you are talking about scientific research, it’s very few.

Lucien: They all seem to be a little afraid of me, even if I don't say anything, they will take the initiative to check themselves.

I recalled how Pete frowned at the paper, and couldn't help but curl my mouth.

MC: This is a good thing! Professor Lucien is very demanding and is also responsible to everyone.

MC: It seems that the patient guidance I received from Professor Lucien is an exceptional exception.

Lucien: After all, you have always done well, and you are also the most special student to me.

Lucien: With our tacit understanding, I believe that your program proposal this time will have a good result.

Lucien's chat just came over, and a colleague's voice called me not far away.

I immediately cleaned up my expression, and pretended to be serious. As I walked to the meeting room, I quickly replied a line to Lucien.

MC: Thanks to Professor Lucien's auspicious words, your students are now going to be a teacher!

Part 5 - Support from the bottom of my heart

As soon as I came out of the studio and walked into the annex, I heard a quarrel in the large conference room not far away.

Willow opened the door and seemed to be looking for a place to call. After seeing me, she ran over.

Willow: Boss, it's chaos now.

Willow: The stage art group had a meeting all night yesterday to adjust the stage art presentation, but the lighting and props were not considered it.

Willow: Now the lights in the second half have to be re-adjusted, and there are several large props that need to be redone.

Willow: Director Luo will bring the actors over tomorrow, and everyone quarreled as they were anxious.

MC: This matter really needs to be resolved as soon as possible, but the good news is that Director Luo will not be able to come tomorrow.

Willow: Why?

MC: There are newcomers in his out-of-town shooting team, and many important pictures are not in focus. Today, he rushed back to the field to reshoot.

Willow: ....That's too bad boss, but this kind of thing is actually good news.

Willow and I looked at each other bitterly and smiled, and walked towards the noisy conference room together.

In a blink of an eye, I was busy until late at night, and I caught the special ringtone belonging to Lucien in the noisy workshop.

I turned on the speakerphone and shouted into the phone.

MC: Lucien! You don't have to pick me up today!

Lucien: What's the matter, why are you so noisy over there?

MC: Because we are sawing wood!

MC: It’s too late to buy new props! I have to stay up late and change it myself!

The other end of the phone seemed to be quiet for a while, I think Lucien had never heard of such an unbelievable situation...

Lucien: Have you contacted the place of accommodation?

MC: Don't worry, we have already found it!

Lucien: Okay, then you pay attention to your safety.

Lucien: And... MC.

MC: Hm?

Lucien: If you want to talk to me, you can leave a message at any time.

Lucien: I hope you know that besides those audience, there is an audience that belongs to you alone, okay?

Amidst the chaotic roar of the machine, Lucien's gentle voice was a little fuzzy.

But even so, the inextricable pressure accumulated in the bottom of my heart was supported in an instant.

After hanging up, I cheered myself up again.

So many days and nights of hard work, and the determination that has always been determined must not be wasted.

Part 6 - When the lights are on

Finally came the day of the rehearsal. There were no spectators in the audience, but everyone's personal belongings were scattered.

Because of this, it is especially obvious when someone is seated.

I stood by the sound and light console behind the auditorium, trying to ignore the familiar figure in the front row, holding the walkie-talkie in command.

MC: B1, when you wait, remember to collect five wheats and put them on the actors in the next show as soon as possible.

Kiki: B1 copy.

When the music sounded, I stared at the situation on the stage, and caught a glimpse of Lucien in the auditorium also turning his head along with the change of the actor's position.

MC: Now play the music again, press the curtain call, exit, and go through the process of harvesting wheat.

He was originally invited to come to our program rehearsal, but when the time was delayed, he had to witness the rush of preparations for the rehearsal.

However, I found that Lucien did not feel irritated by this, instead he sat upright all the time, seeming to "appreciate" deeply.

But after all, he was the guest I invited, and it was not suitable to leave him alone. I used the intercom to call my colleague Xiao Chen, who has no task, to sit with him.

I continued to run around the field, and after a while, there was a vague voice of dialogue on the intercom.

Lucien: Xiao Chen, what was the door she just mentioned?

Xiao Chen: If you look at the big screen behind the stage, it can actually be opened. That is the gate.

Lucien: Are the props that are being pushed up now modified by the team themselves?

Xiao Chen: Yes, Professor Lucien, you know this?

Lucien: Well, I heard about it.

With some amusement, I listened to the intermittent conversation in the earphones, took a shortcut to the side path of the auditorium, and jumped down with a "boom".

Lucien: Is it okay for her to jump like this?

Xiao Chen: We all love to walk on this kind of path because the stairs go around far.

Xiao Chen: Sometimes you will step directly down between the chairs in the auditorium. Don't worry.

MC: .....

There were only ten minutes left until the rehearsal started. I didn't have time to interrupt, but apparently many colleagues had noticed this conversation, and they laughed secretly when they saw me.

When I was about to walk into the guide studio, Xiao Chen seemed to finally realize that he had forgotten to turn off the intercom, and his panicked voice suddenly came out of the headphones.

Xiao Chen: I'm sorry, boss! I seemed to forget to turn off the intercom just now...

MC: Fortunately, today is a dress rehearsal. If it is officially recorded, audiences all over the country will probably know you.

I stared at the two people in the audience from a distance, but saw Lucien smiling and taking the walkie-talkie from Xiao Chen.

Lucien: Sorry, I have been looking forward to today too much, maybe I am a little excited.

Lucien: Seeing the enthusiasm of the producer, today's rehearsal will be very exciting.

MC: Of course, our goal today is to surprise Professor Lucien.

I gestured to the on-site director, raising the walkie-talkie, and walking forward to the guide studio.

MC: The rehearsal countdown counts down to one minute, and each unit prepares-

Part 7 - Light behind the scene

After spinning around in the studio for a week, the indoor recording finally looked good, and the rehearsal went smoothly.

It happened to be the weekend, Lucien came to pick me up as agreed, and I took the opportunity to take him around the shed.

MC: This is the director room, which is my second office.

MC: This is the prop room, we were here last time when saw the wood.

Lucien: It seems that if you want to be an excellent producer, you need eighteen martial arts skills.

MC: In fact, I just give the colleague who is in charge of the props... but I always feel uneasy if I don't do anything.

As I said, I brought Lucien to the backstage.

Only a few beams of lights on the stage were left in the entire venue, from here you can see the front stage and the auditorium.

MC: Every time I stand here, I feel a little nervous.

MC: I don’t know if there will be any problems in the next step, I don’t know how the audience will react...

MC: But the time for hesitation is limited, so we still have to get the actors on stage as soon as possible.

I made a "please" motion to Lucien, he stepped forward, suddenly took my hand, and took me onto the stage together.

MC: Lucien?

Lucien: This seems to be the first time to stand on stage with you.

Lucien: Maybe you have to hide behind the scene when shooting, but in my heart, you are the real protagonist.

Lucien: Because of your hard work, this stage has become brilliant.

Lucien: You have created all of this, and you must be able to grasp it well. So don't be afraid.

He squeezed his fingers lightly, like a small activation switch, which quickly swelled my frustrated heart.

It turns out that people behind the scenes can also shine and have the right to be seen.

I took his hand back, walked under the beam of light on the stage, and turned to face the auditorium.

MC: Originally, the edge of this stage was a little bit behind now, and the position of this beam of light was also a bit off.

MC: The place where I stood before was smashed into a hole by props, which shocked everyone...

I smiled and raised my head to look at Lucien, meeting his equally smiling gaze.

MC: ...I have also thought about it countless times here, if in the end I did a good job, what would you say to me.

Lucien: You are now facing a famous director in the industry, is my evaluation still so important?

MC: Of course, your evaluation is always the most important.

Lucien: Okay, I will take a good look at your results.

Lucien: From now on, you can officially look forward to this answer

---

🦋 DATE 🦋

The light and shadow outside the train window kept flashing across my face. I sat on the subway in a daze, looking at the changing but repetitive scenery outside the window, without any emotion.

A recent cooperation project I was responsible for was completed with an exceptionally authoritative director in the industry, and many people in the industry are paying close attention to it.

This cooperation has not only obtained S+ level investment, but also shouldered the expectations and goals of many people. Therefore, it is a project that must be successful and absolutely perfect.

My colleagues in the company and I have been working overtime during this period of time.

Because of the responsibility, I am almost at the company, filming set and studio, three-point line on the set, and I completely lost my time.

feel that I haven't had a good night's sleep for many, many days, and I feel lighthearted.

The sun outside the window is shining, the summer breeze is gentle, and people stop by in the beautiful scenery from time to time, admiring the beauty of daily life.

But I was sitting there, and in my mind was the flow chart, the pictures I was going to shoot next, and everything about work.

Looking at the scenery in my vision, I just feel very tired.

When the subway arrived, the door opened, and people went up and down. I stared at the subway door dumbly and closed my eyes wearily.

If Lucien appeared at this time, it would be very dramatic.

My brain turned a little slow, I couldn't help thinking and then slowly opened my eyes.

Maybe I was too tired. Looking at the door that was about to close, Lucien really seemed to be walking on the subway.

He is wearing a khaki trench coat and holding a notebook.

He doesn't seem to care how many people are in the train, he glances at it casually, leaning in an undisturbed corner, and is about to open his notebookㅡ

It collided with my eyes.

At that moment, the lips that have always been pressed tightly may slowly rise, and the eyes may also be stained with faint surprises and smiles.

He took off his glasses, walked up to me with a smile, and greeted me.

Lucien: What a coincidence.

The gentle voice rang in my ears, and I blinked slowly, enjoying the escape of the nervousness at this moment.

Lucien: What's wrong? You don't seem to be very happy to see me.

The light and shadow outside the window kept on, Lucien pulled the handle, blocking the dazzling light in front of me, and the long shadow enveloped me.

Like a gentle and warm embrace.

Lucien leaned down, and those familiar faces slowly approached, becoming more and more real, making me a little dazed.

Until his hand slowly touched my face, the real and soft touch surprised me and stood up straight.

MC: Lu- Lucien?

It turned out that it was not my imagination just now. Lucien really got on the train at that stop and appeared in front of me.

Lucien: MC, are you okay?

I looked at Lucien in front of me in surprise and shook my head vigorously.

Although he would go to see me at the shooting scene from time to time, meeting him by chance made me feel a little dazed.

MC: Lucien, Why are you here….

Lucien: I am going to get some documents.

Lucien: It seems that we are very destined.

He smiled at me, and when he said that, I just lowered my head dully.

Lucien: MC, are you okay?

Lucien asked again.

I tried very hard to squeeze a smile, but I found that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't control the expression well.

Lucien looked at me for a long time and seemed to notice that my condition was very poor.

At this time, the subway announced that the station was about to arrive. I barely cheered up and patted my face.

MC: Lucien, I'm get off at the next the station!

MC: Wait for me.. wait for me to finish all this works, after that let's go wherever we want.

I grinned reluctantly at him, and was about to turn around and get out of the train. Who knows Lucien's hand stretched out suddenly, and I was held in his arms.

MC: ......?!

In my somewhat confused gaze, Lucien lowered his head, but the strength in his hand did not weaken by half.

Lucien: I feel like I’ve been missed you for too long.

Lucien: Since it is better to hit the sun if you want to go somewhere for a walk, let’s do it today.

MC: .... Eh?

Lucien: Although I was going to the research institute, there was nothing urgent.

MC: No... Not today, there are still many things on the scene that I need to follow up and check...

Lucien: This is indeed the case.

Lucien: But a lot of trivial matters, do you really have to?

Lucien: You are much more tired than I thought.

Lucien: If I guessed right, you must have followed up a lot of things again.

His somewhat low but unexpectedly serious voice fell on my ears, and I couldn't help taking a deep breath.

My mind is full of situations where I run around like a headless fly, reluctantly letting myself take care of everything.

Lucien: Besides, I don’t think you can make accurate decisions and judgments based on the state of your load.

Lucien's final words were particularly direct, like a precise sharp blade poking into my chest, making me a little bit irritated but speechless.

Lucien: So, are you going to walk with me today?

His final tone suddenly eased, and he stared at me quietly.

When the subway arrived, the door was slowly opened. I realized that there was almost no strength at my waist. As long as I broke free, I could leave and walk off the subway--

Lucien waited silently.

I stood still and didn't move.

Until the “Ding Dong” warning sound of the subway door closed, the train started to move again.

At that moment, I was relieved.

In addition to the guilt of "fleeing from work", I felt that I temporarily escaped from the suffocating space, and I was able to breathe

Maybe, I have always wanted someone to show up to make me stop.

Then Lucien magically appeared in front of me like this.

The subway moved forward one more stop slowly, and none of us spoke.

Quietly, I picked up the phone to open the work group, and sent a message that I was unwell and asked for a day off.

Group chats popped up one after another for me to take a good rest, and all the on-site replies will continue to follow up.

At this moment, my heart is surprisingly calm.

I raised my head to look at Lucien, his eyes seemed to have been waiting there for a long time.

MC: Where are we going?

Lucien: Don't know yet.

Lucien: But this is not important.

Lucien: 83 or 47, choose one of these two numbers.

MC: .... Hm?

Looking at his smiling eyes, I thought about it.

MC: I choose 83.

Lucien smiled and took me out of the train after sitting for a while.

I was stunned, doubting this move.

Lucien: These random numbers have no actual meaning.

Lucien: What I want is to decide which stop we get off at the next stop according to the numerical order you choose.

Lucien: Then pass the end of the number to determine the exit point.

He led me slowly forward, according to what he said, the moment when I walked out of the subway No. 3 exit, the sunlight was a bit dazzling, it's very warm.

Lucien: Everyone will have an established judgment about their choice, but many things are actually not that complicated.

Lucien: Even if you can’t guess the ending, it’s fun, isn’t it?

He and I put my fingers together and walked on an unknown street, looking at the endless wide road, the end seemed to penetrate into the clouds in the distance.

The whole world seemed to open up in an instant, and the soft clouds seemed to be a sweet kiss from midsummer.

I held Lucien's hand and walked forward slowly, taking a deep breath.

It seems that I haven't experienced this kind of situation for a long time.

We walk aimlessly, as if walking is our only purpose at the moment.

In fact, I was always thinking about the shooting scene in my heart. While uneasy, one side felt that such evasion and laziness had been long gone.

The world is huge, and all I can feel at this moment is the sunshine, the autumn breeze, and Lucien around me.

MC: Lucien, what did you want to do at the institute by taking that subway?

Lucien: Go to see the progress of a research team in the suburbs and see if there are any wrong directions that need to be pointed out.

Lucien: Then I went back to the research institute and continued to advance the research content in my hands.

He spoke very lightly, tapped on the phone interface, and put the phone in his pocket.

MC: Lucien, you're not worried?

Lucien: Worry about what?

MC: Worried about whether there will be problems in the research team? Are there any wrong operations, inattentive judgments or decisions.

MC: There may be shortcomings that are about to succeed but suddenly appear, and there are also various failures.

These stressful scenes have visited my dreams countless times. I am anxious and can only choose to tighten my nerves and minimize my mistakes.

Lucien: The people in the group are personally selected by me.

Lucien: What is their ability, what level they can achieve, and when they will deliver what kind of results, I know very well.

Lucien: I don't need to confirm it all the time.

Autumn wind raising his clothes slightly, Lucien looked straight ahead, but he seemed to see a lot of things that I couldn't see clearly at this time.

Lucien: Moreover, this is not just my research.

Lucien: It belongs to many people.

MC: How come?!

MC: You can provide the correct ideas and guidance to the research to avoid them from making detours, and then...

Lucien: Will I definitely make the right judgment?

MC: .....

I looked at Lucien stupidly, he just gently raised the corners of his mouth and stretched out his hand to pin my wind-blown hair behind my ears.

Lucien: I'm just an ordinary member of exploring the world.

Lucien: For this world and many people in the world, we are far less important than we thought.

Lucien spoke lightly, but fell on my heart very hard.

An unknown bus stop appeared in front of him.

There was no one waiting there, but it seemed a bit lonely on such a spacious road.

Lucien took me to sit in the bench waiting for the bus. People and vehicles came and went. There was no help or prompt on my mobile phone screen.

MC: Lucien, I have done too much, is it wrong?

Lucien: I think it has nothing to do with right or wrong.

His other hand is also touching our holding hands.

Lucien: You just need to distinguish clearly, those things that you always hold tightly, it's up to youㅡ

Lucien: Or you are reluctant to let go.

I blinked slowly, and the whole world was extremely silent, except for the sound of the wind.

Lucien: People always need to do something to bring recognition and value to themselves.

Lucien: But without me, research will continue.

Lucien: And without you, the rehearsal would go on, wouldn't it?

I stared at the orderly docking and replies in the work group, feeling that I was embarrassed by what he said.

MC: But I am a producer, and I am responsible for the content of my program.

Lucien: If one person can accomplish something, there is no need for teamwork.

MC: ....

His words are clean and somewhat indifferent, as if torn apart to find the core of the whole problem.

Lucien: Being responsible is not to bear everything.

Lucien: Everyone has something to do.

Lucien: Don't take away the responsibilities of others, and don't work hard for others and shine for others.

He raised my unconsciously lowered head, gently stroked my frowning eyebrows with gentle fingertips, and gently smoothed it again and again.

There are many things hidden in those gentle eyes, there is pride, distress, and some helplessness.

Lucien: You have what you have to do.

Lucien: if you look at everything, sometimes you won't see anything.

He looked away from my face and looked in front of us.

Lucien: MC, what can you see now?

I followed his gaze and looked forward.

The bright and long warm sun, strangers coming and going, soft white clouds floating in the blue sky, and a double-decker bus slowly approaching at the end of the road.

MC: I saw sunlight, white clouds, passers-by, and there is a double-decker bus.

I looked a little surprised, and some emotions slipped straight out of my mouth.

MC: It turns out that there are double-decker buses in Loveland City

Lucien: Do you know where this bus will go?

I shook my head at him, and Lucien smiled lightly in my dazed expression.

Lucien: I do not know either.

Lucien: But I am willing to go with you to get this answer.

He held my hand and stood up.

The bus stopped steadily in front of us, and the door slowly opened.

The scenery on the bus changed constantly. We were sitting on the upper floor of the bus, and the sun was shining on us, as if everything in front of us was slowing down.

MC: Lucien, the line of this bus seems to be very long.

Although I said this, at this moment, I was inexplicably relaxed.

I looked at the densely packed route map pasted in the bus, and at the end station was the name of the road that I had never heard of.

This is a journey that I don't know the end of. It doesn't matter to get the material, and it doesn't matter whether it will be of any better help to my program recording.

For me, the end point is only a curious thing about the unknown, but under this curiosity, I have no pressure on whether it is good or bad.

At this moment when I always have great expectations for the results of my efforts, it seems to be a kind of respite.

Lucien: It's very long.

MC: You said, what if we get to some strange and unfamiliar place?

Lucien: Then think of a solution there.

Lucien: After all I am still there, two people will always think of a way.

Lucien: And occasionally such "fleeing" is not bad, what do you think?

He smiled and asked me to lean on his shoulder, as if he didn't mind the unknown distance.

In the gentle sunshine, the world is extremely wide.

We really seemed to be like Lucien said, and escaped briefly from a suffocating glass cover.

Don't care about the end, and don't care about the result.

Feeling drowsy, I slowly closed my eyes.

I knew I was going to fall asleep.

In the dimness, I felt as if I was walking barefoot on a vast grassland, and the air was full of mud.

The wind lifted the hem of my skirt, and I could see the distant horizon when I lifted my eyes.

Only when I turned around, I found myself sitting on the subway I had taken.

Everyone looked down at the screen of the phone, walked in a hurry, and even their breathing rate increased unconsciously.

The subway stopped, and the moment the door opened, Lucien walked up.

He was still wearing that khaki trench coat and holding a notebook in his hand.

It's just that he didn't notice me, or in other words, his eyes just faintly swept across me, but didn't stop.

He leaned against the door, opened his notebook, and looked out the window from time to time.

He didn't smile at me, didn't take off his glasses, didn't walk over, didn't ask me "how is it"—

Did not point out that my current state is wrong.

I couldn't help taking a breath of cold air, and numbly felt my body stand up uncontrollably, passing by Lucien's figure...

Then at the stop where I should get off, I walked down.

Sink in a thick black ink.

I opened my eyes abruptly, panting, and Lucien's worried face was in front of me.

MC: I... am I fell asleep?

Lucien: Well, you seem to be too tired.

Lucien: Was it a nightmare just now?

I looked at Lucien a little at a loss, not knowing how to explain to him the dream that was somewhat outrageous.

If it weren't for Lucien, I would still insist on it.

Persevere until a certain time, the day when one part of the whole world suddenly breaks down.

MC: I just dreamed... because I worked too hard and you ignored me.

I smiled at him, the light and shadow fell vividly and truly in his eyes, and the temperature under the palms passed through my fingertips, reminding that it was just an unprovoked nightmare.

Lucien: That's just a dream.

His hands stroked the top of my head again and again, which was extremely reassuring.

Many things are very small, but they are magnified in the moment.

I stared at Lucien and suddenly saw the stadium where our program was recorded through the glass window behind him.

As if perceiving my sudden stiff gaze, Lucien followed my gaze and looked sideways, then turned his head to look at me.

At this moment of us, no one spoke.

The bus stopped slowly at the bus stop and started again.

Looking at the stadium going away, I couldn't help but laugh.

MC: After staying at the shooting site for so long before, I didn't even know that there was a double-decker bus nearby.

Lucien: After all, the world that people can see is very small.

Lucien: Whether it is attention or emotion, there is a certain amount of quantification.

Lucien: Some things take up more space in your heart, and you will have less space for other things.

Lucien: For example, the affection that MC puts on me has decreased a lot recently.

Although he said that, there was no annoyance in his eyes.

I knew he was only making fun of me, but I felt a little apologetic to him.

MC: Maybe sometimes I really can't balance work and life well.

MC: The more you want to get a good result, you will always over-invest.

MC: Will be anxious and worried, and will leave people around me in the cold.

MC: Lucien, learning balance is really difficult.

Lucien: Indeed.

His head leaned lightly on top of mine, and we were snuggled together, there was no gap.

Lucien: After all, there are many times when I will be like you now, but then you came to hold my hand.

Lucien: And I will hold you.

Lucien: Although for many people, we are not as important as we thought.

Lucien: But I believe that for each other, our existence is more important than the other side thinks.

His words were light, but they fell on my heart very firmly.

MC: Then, will you always point out my problems objectively and rationally like this?

Lucien: As the closest person around you, sometimes it really can't be done.

MC: What to do then?

I raised my head and looked straight into his eyes.

Lucien: But besides being the closest person around you, I'm still your friend.

The surging spot of light fell on our side, gentle and quiet.

Lucien: If I can't say anything as a close person, I will tell you as a friend.

Lucien: Then, we went together to find the most balanced point.

MC: Will we find it?

Lucien: Maybe it will, maybe it's the way we've been searching all our lives.

Lucien: But not seeing the end is not necessarily confusing, right?

MC: You're right.

I nodded sincerely at him. Something that has always been frustrated in my heart seemed to suddenly become clear at this moment.

Not seeing the end is not necessarily confusing, I will not be alone on the way to the end.

It is also full of infinite possibilities.

Lucien: It’s so boring to only run towards a given result.

The moment the bus left the tunnel, the light rushed behind Lucien like a waterfall, and the distant horizon stretched towards the sparkling end.

In the bus, an announcement was announced that it was about to arrive at the terminal.

I saw the sea.

---END---

Notes from me: I’m back with Lucien’s date. This date pretty comforting. Sometimes we feel too burdened because of works, study, and many more activities. And it’s okay to take a break some times until we feel better. Hope you guys also enjoy this date as I do, and don’t forget to take care of your health ^^ taking 3 meals a day is also important!!

[itsagrimm]

Imperial!Tech 3

Summary: Tech's chip activated instead of Crosshairs so Tech is now an imperial commander tasked to serve the Empire at any cost. But is he willing to do so? And are you, dear Y/N as member of the experimental Elite Squad, willing to follow any order your commander Tech gives?

CN: self-harm, talk of death murder and war crimes, stalker behaviour, soldier life in a fascist state, power imbalance, overreaching behaviour, structural violence, sexually predatory behaviour and the likes, sensual overload, insomnia, references of drug abuse, depression and mental health issues, trauma

Imperial!tech X they*them Y/N reader, afab

Thanks a lot to @eyecandyeoz for your insight, feedback and thoughts. Check out their lovely blog!

I am sorry it took me so long. next part will be faster. I already started writing it.

And feel free to criticise especially concerning my use of CN and if the reader perspective is inclusive for you.

2800 words

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Tech collapsed into the chair as soon as Y/N had left the room. He was tired, so tired. He leaned back and put on his glasses. Him taking off his visual aids around Y/N was a degree of trust Tech rarely allowed. He was nearly blind without his glasses and the Kaminoans had considered terminating him for that. Tech was sure Y/N did not even know how much he had surrendered himself to Y/N and their touch. Their oh so soft touch. The memory of it was still fresh on his skin. It raced through is mind which for once was craving to match his body with the need to slow down and take a rest.

But it didn’t.

Y/N was pleasant to be around. Their touch was careful and considered. Only his brothers used to treat him like his. – His brothers, the former clone force 99, had left him behind after they refused to comply with order 66. Due to their divergence the inhibitor chip had not worked while he, Tech, had tried to kill the Jedi. – He had tried to kill a child. – The effect of the inhibitor chip was decreasing. His wound received on Bracca had an 84,743 % chance of damaging the inhibitor chip. But he should investigate further and get the chip out to stop any possible interference with his superior thought process. - Y/N was not aware of the inhibitor chips. He felt the need to tell them. Why? – The Havoc Marauder had not been mentioned on the imperial comm chatter for a while. – Echo was likely to take care of the ship now. – He should get some sustenance. He felt hunger. – Y/N – The Empire expected a degree of loyalty, uniformity, and compliance he was unsure he could deliver for long considering his diverging mind. – what would Hunter do? – the kaminoan proverb “yn’ja tha vaí m°O” was untranslatable into Basic but could be understood in Sit Bisti as “it needs tö be döne för the betterment öf äll”- The Empire was unlikely to grant him the freedom to find his brothers or in fact any freedom. – The canteen might serve Tiingilar tonight – He was a child slave destined to die in approximately 34,6 standard yearly rotations from old age if not sooner. – maybe the canteen will serve uj’alayi too. – Does Y/N speak Mando’an? He should enquire. – Of course, there will be no uj’alayi today. The Kaminoans did not allow sweet foods. – Y/N – How did the atmospheric controls work that ensured breathable air even for the highest floors of coruscanti buildings? - He knew why his brothers left him behind, but why did it feel so painful. – The empire was likely to kill him if he out served his usefulness for them. - He had tried to kill a child. He had killed several children on Onderon. How could he live with that? How could-

Tech forced his thoughts to stop by digging his fingers into his bloody scar.

The sharp pain felt soothing.

“Let’s consider making a list of the most pressing tasks for now.”

He starred at the ceiling.

“The Empire. It is the closest threat to my demise, but it can be my salvation if I am useful. Am I willing and capable to do that?”

His head started spinning again just at the thought of killing another child for the Empire. And yet serving the Empire gave him purpose he wasn’t sure he could muster on his own.

“Where are my brothers? How are they? How do I feel about them?”

Another unpleasant wave of thoughts and feelings washed over Tech before he continued.

“What is with the inhibitor chip inside my head?”

He nodded to himself. That was a rational and containable problem with fixed variables and clear answers. He felt comfortable with that question, pushing aside all the things he might have done due to being under the chips influence.

Only one question was left now.

“Why do I enjoy Y/N presence?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ryloth had a warm and dusty climate during daytime. Y/N felt sweat dripping under the dark armour. The elite squad, including a new ES-03, was ordered to stand close by to Admiral Rampart, the highest imperial officer on Ryloth. And so, they had spent the last rotations following the Admiral around, doing tedious security work and presenting themselves like the Admirals favourite guard dogs to a public very much disliking their military presence. For once, even commander Tech looked annoyed about their not spec-ops appropriate services.

Today they were on the outlook. The Admiral wanted them scanning a large crowd for troublemakers and resistance fighters during a public announcement. Y/N couldn’t blame them. The Twi’lek of Ryloth had spent years fighting for their independence and spilled an ocean of blood on the dusty planet’s surface only to face an Empire now. Half a life ago Y/N would have hated themselves for being a soldier in service of a suppressing ruler. But now it was paid work.

“ES-01?”, Commander Tech brought Y/N back from their thoughts

“I am in position before the crowd.”

“ES-02?”

“Yes sir, I am on the building as you ordered.”

“ES-03?”

“Any nonimperial transmissions are being blocked now.”

“ES-04?”

“The war hawk is ready for take-off in case we need it.”

“Good. Do you register any noteworthy activity?

Y/N gazed through the crowd. They were mostly Twi’lek, waiting to hear from their leaders. All of them were in civilian clothing, none came with visible weapons.

“I can’t spot anything, sir.”

Tech said nothing. But Y/N could hear him type something.

“Analysing previous rebel fighter behaviour and strategies in similar situations they are likely to appear at these coordinates within the crowd today. I am sending you a list for you to especially pay attention to, ONCE.”, he finally said using the moniker the elite squad had given Y/N.

“Yes sir.”

Y/N looked at their holopad and started checking the coordinates commander Tech had calculated. At entry four they spotted their targets.

“Commander. I have a visual about 40 meters from my position, 10 o’clock. There are two fighters. Twi’lek. One female and one male passing. Shade of blue and orange.”

A moment everyone was silent.

“Confirmed.”, ES-02 stated.

Another moment passed.

“Observe them for now. Stay alert.”, Tech ordered before ending the transmission.

High above the Twi’lek senator started to talk. Y/N could not remember his name and paid little attention to his words. Unlike the Twi’lek.

“They are not happy.”, ES-02 stated flatly.

“Yeah thanks, I would not have noticed without you.”

“Always a pleasure to help out, ONCE.”

ES-02 was right. The crowd was angry. The imperial presence, the empty words of some disaffected politician, the fresh memories of the clone war. It was no surprise that the Twi’lek called out for their resistance leaders to speak.

“We want Syndulla! We want Syndulla!”, the crowd chanted.

A different voice from above started speaking. The crowd calmed down, not entirely happy but at least not a raging mob.

“At least we will not have to gun them down, now.”, ES-02 mumbled with a bitter voice.

“Would you really do that, two?”

“You know what they say, good soldiers follow orders, ONCE. And I intend to be one. Especially when I’m getting paid for it.”

XXXXXXXXXXX

Rampart was an asshole. He was a smug little administrator, willing to lie, back-stab and sacrifice whatever needed to achieve his goals. Rampart was the perfect general to handle a loaded situation like the one on Ryloth. And he was no fool.

Y/N hat noticed that he had kept both commander Tech and Howzer, the commanding clone trooper in charge of the regular clone troopers on Ryloth, close. A strategic move. Spec-ops commandos like the elite squad and regular commandos were in constant competition and mistrust to each other. Should one commander not deliver or even consider treason the other would interfere. And Rampart would always end up on the winning side of their clone infighting.

Y/N could here their arguing inside the office.

Commander Tech had ordered for Y/N to wait outside the office for new orders.

More arguing from the office was audible until finally Ramparts voice cut their bickering short.

The door opened and Howzer left. His expression was that of a practised reserved solider hiding his worries.

The door opened again, and commander Tech stepped outside of Ramparts office.

He looked tense.

Instead of a greeting or an order he just started walking. They followed him.

“Clone force 99 is here. But we are kept on a short leash. As always.”, Tech stated, “It is implausible to not use the best tools possible when confronted with a problem. Howzers troopers will not be able to beat them if necessary. Just like they won’t be able or unwilling to beat the Twi’lek should the need arise.”

Since Kamino the commander had started to share more of his thoughts with Y/N. All they had left to do was to listen and ask the right questions.

“Sir, you think Howzer will commit subordination?”

“There is a possibility of him and his men disagreeing with the new imperial leadership and it’s methods. Howzers unit has fought alongside the Twi’leks the past years. Bounds forged in the trenches can be stronger than loyalty to an administrator from Coruscant. But I require further data to assess the likelihood of treason.”

“What about clone force 99?”

“Their abilities and erratic strategies will be a challenge should we … no, should I have to face them.”

“So, we did not get the order to hunt them down?”

“No. Not yet.”

“And yet you already imply them as of importance.”

“It would be a grave strategic mistake to dismiss their presence.”

“So, what is the elite squad going to do about them? What are your orders, sir?”

Tech paused and adjusted his glasses.

“We are going to do nothing.”

“Sir!?”

“Don’t.” There was a warning in his voice. A signal to Y/N not to cross a line, invisible yet perceptible. He was after all a commander and Y/N just a soldier.

“I am sorry. I overstepped. You are in charge.”

He turned, stepped away and looked at Y/N. His eyes scrutinized them like a scientist inspecting a rare specimen of remarkable value.

They shivered.

His gaze was intriguing. It was painful to feel on display like that. And yet it was nearly intimate to be studied by Tech. Unsure if he would finally hit Y/N for their countless discretions or if he just contemplated their objections.

Finally, Tech nodded appeased and continued his walking without any further talk.

“What do you want us to do now, sir?”

Tech stopped.

“What do I want you to do now?”, Tech repeated as if the question had a different meaning to him than it had to Y/N.

He took out his holopad only to put it away again. He cleared his throat.

“I need you to stay alert. The situation is complicated. For now, get some sleep. The chances are below 4,65 % that there will be a significant development within the next two hours. After that I except the elite squad to be combat ready.”

“Yes sir.”

XXXXXXXXX

The Refresher room was empty. Most clones avoided the elite squad, and all the other members of their unit were taking a nap before the night shift which left Y/N to have the large washroom for themselves.

They signed.

Taking a shower and having some alone time to think and feel before finally taking a rest was what they needed.

Y/N started to strip out of the armour.

First, they took of the helmet, then the vambraces and shin guards before getting the shoulder pieces and lifting the heavy breast armour off before finally getting out of the abdomen armour. The black katarn fell to the floor, making loud echoing noises.

Y/N didn’t care. No one was to correct them on their improper handling of equipment here.

And as much as the armour was a useful necessity, it was a heavy burden in more than one way.

Their blacks followed and soon Y/N was standing under the refresher, naked and alone.

The water was hot and painful.

It was a welcome distraction to all the feelings of … well what exactly?

Y/N felt tears running down their face.

No, no, no. It’s just the refresher.

An uptight sob escaped Y/Ns throat. It was all so different from what they imagined. They had entered imperial service for the payment during a desperate time. And ended up witnessing murder after murder, committing murder.

Today they could have become accomplices to killing a crowd of innocent Twi’leks. And Y/N knew that they would have complied with the order to open fire on the civilians if given. How could they not? Surrounded by troopers like them, ordered around by heartless and calculating commanders.

Would Tech give a killing order like this?

Was he that heartless?

He had done so before.

He had killed so many times before their eyes and yet a piece of Y/N refused to see him as a murderer. In fact, they felt shameful about feeling and thinking about Tech – about their commanding officer – at all.

Y/N stopped fighting the tears and cried out loud.

Nobody would know about this.

Nobody would know about their doubt and vulnerability.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As always sleep had been an unwilling friend to visit Tech. With a sigh he gave up and got up from the cot. As always, his mind was racing. He had tried the breathing techniques Crosshair taught him after a particular long stretch of insomnia, but it didn’t work.

And Tech wasn’t in the mood to experiment with the vast collection of sedatives to force his body to sleep right before possibly facing his brothers and definitely meeting admiral Rampart soon.

Work it was then.

His holopad listed only unchallenging administrative tasks.

The new Shuttle was in top shape.

His weapons were cleaned.

Tech had nothing to keep is overthinking brain in check.

Kriff, his life really was miserable. A never-ending effort to bringing his spiralling mind some peace.

A notification came in.

What a blessing.

Tech looked at the holopad again. It was just a reminder to check on his subordinates, to listen in on their private talks and vital signs.

The order from Imperial Command was an uncomfortable task but it was the best he had to do right now. And listing in on some snoring was better than listening to the elite squads talk like last time. At least it felt less overreaching.

He started with ES-04 and workout down from there. Four was in deep slumber, nothing of interest to note. ES-03 was still new and his sleep was restless, a few murmurs about his home planet and family escaped his lips. ES-02 was dreaming. His heartrate was accelerated. Tech turned his observation of, not interested in the rutting sounds of ES-02.

ES-01 was left. ONCE. Y/N. The thought of peeping into their private life was not only uncomfortable, but it also felt violent to strip Y/N of their peace and privacy.

And yet, Y/N was the only one Tech WANTED to know more about. He felt his desire to learn more about Y/N like a physical need, an addicting obsession Tech knew he needed to be careful with not to indulge.

Was their slumber peaceful and sweet?

Did they have dreams about home?

Or did they fight their nightmares in sleep just like they did awake?

He swallowed.

He was just following an order.

He will do nothing more.

He was just a good soldier.

Y/N wasn’t asleep. Their bucket was off and there were no vital signs coming of them. But the acoustic signal was working.

Y/N was somewhere with a lot of echoes and running water.

Tech felt himself blushing and getting hot.

They were in the shower.

It felt so right to listen in on Y/N. Tech felt bad about it.

The thought of water running down their bare and naked body made Techs mind slow like nothing ever before. The pleasure of a calm mind made him groan.

He hesitated. This was not okay. He shouldn’t listen. He shouldn’t imagine a subordinate like that. He hated that he had to. He hated that the Empire gave him order to do so. But more than that he hated himself for following that order so willingly.

He reached for the off button on his holopad.

A sob.

Was that Y/N? Were they crying?

Tech’s mind went from zero into overdrive. He needed to know who or whatever made you feel like crying. He would find out. And he would remove whatever it was from your life.

Part 4

[redrobin-detective]

Delayed Mourning

Going Angst Day 5: Death

_________________________________________

It was 3pm when there was a knock on Maddie Fenton’s door. She huffed and set down the meal she’d been working on. Of course the one day she had time to pre-plan a nice meal from her family was the day she’d get interrupted. 

“Yes? May I help you?” Maddie asked, opening the door. She had expected a salesman. Possibly even a neighbor coming to complain, again, about the noise or the smells that came from Fentonworks. Instead she found a small woman who couldn’t have been much taller than 5 ft with dark brown hair tied up in a tight bun. She was wearing a sharp white shirt and suit jacket with a matching white skirt.

“Mrs. Fenton, hello,” the woman gave a polite little head nod. “I’m from the the Government Institute of Interdimensional Warfare though I hear the locals like to call us the Guys in White.” She said with a knowing smiling, “of course, as you know, it’s not only the guys who are interested in ghosts. May I come in?”

“Oh yes, hello,” Maddie blinked, opening the door to let the agent in. The petite woman stepped inside, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor. Her small frame, her oversized glasses and soft nature seemed so at odds with the meatheads Maddie usually found in the GIW. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Perhaps,” the agent demurred. “It’s more there was something I wanted to inform you of. If you’re not too busy, may we sit down and talk? Your husband and children are not home.” Maddie thought that last statement was a bit odd, framed as a statement of fact rather than an inquiry but moved on. 

“Yes, Jack’s out of town visiting a relative and my kids won’t be back for a little while,” Maddie said. “Let me just finish putting this roast together, I’m almost done. Can I get you anything? Water? Tea?”

“No, thank you,” The woman said quietly. “And please, continue while you’re doing. Let me give you a little bit of background.” The agent adjusted her large glasses with her tiny hands. “Let me introduce myself, you may call me Agent S. I work primarily out of Washington for the Institute but sometimes I am deployed on site for... special cases. And, as I’m sure you’re aware, your town is very special.”

“Now, as you may have noticed, I am not particularly built like the normal Institute agents you have probably come across. That is because I do not work in the field but behind the scene in Investigations. My job is study the history and happenings of hauntings and spectral entities.”

“Oh that sounds fascinating,” Maddie beamed as she finished with her final preps and put the roast in the over. She looked over her shoulder at Agent S while she washed her hands. “Jack and I dabble a bit in history and folklore but we’re more versed in the hard sciences of ghosts.”

“Yes, I’ve read some of your papers, you and your husband truly are the frontrunners in the field,” Agent S nodded. Maddie preened at the praise and sat down, delighted to have a sophisticated conversation with someone in her field who she wasn’t married to. If more of those GIW agents were like Agent S then Maddie would get along a lot better with them. “So, Maddie, may I call you Maddie? What date and time did your portal start working?”

“It was August 28th,” Maddie said proudly. “It didn’t work at first when we first plugged it in. I’m afraid I don’t have an exact time it started up as we weren’t here. Jack was convinced one of the electrical conduction pieces wasn’t fully connected and was preventing ectoplasmic distribution. We ended up driving 4 hours to Springfield and back for some specialty parts only to find the portal working when we returned.”

“I can help you there,” Agent S said with a soft smile reaching into her white briefcase and pulling out several thick folders. She laid them out gently on the table and Maddie was unnerved by some of the information: schematics of Fentonworks, past and present financial records, transcripts of public statements. Her shoulders tensed when she saw Jazz and Danny’s names on some of the files. “Toll camera captured your vehicle on the Jane Addams Memorial Tollway at exactly 1:26pm on August 28th. We can confirm you and your husband’s vehicle traveled to Springfield and back via video feeds and credit card statements at 10:45pm that same day and were therefore out of the city all day.”

Maddie suddenly felt very trapped by the woman’s sharp grey eyes as she plucked a piece of paper and pressed it towards Maddie. 

“At 3:18pm, the majority of the residential power in town went out for a period of 2 and a half hours. The cause was determined to be from a massive power surge that blew out the transformer. You may recall being blamed for this outage given your history with previous outages but the news that you were out of town settled that argument. However, I was not convinced.” She pulled out another piece of paper and Maddie bristled to see it was a Casper High attendance sheet.

“Your daughter, Jasmine was at her final summer cram session which ran from 2pm until 5pm. I spoke to her tutors and she never left the whole time and, in fact, stayed late to help a fellow student work through her study materials. But what about your son?” Agent S asked with with a curious smile but her eyes belied the fact that she had her own answers. 

“How dare you spy on my family, on my children,” Maddie hissed, crumpling one of the papers in her fist. “Get out of my house, I will sue the pants off of your organization for this invasion of privacy! Get out!”

“Now Maddie, don’t you want to know how your son started up your Portal?” Agent S asked coyly, that drew Maddie up short. Danny? No, he couldn’t have possibly. He had no interest in their work, in fact, now that she thought about it, Danny had been sick that day. Agent S pulled out a set of blueprints for the Fenton Portal. Some small component inside the Portal was circled.

“You left at approximately 1pm and your daughter presumably left not long after. Phone records indicate Daniel called both Tucker Foley and Samantha Manson. Your neighbor, Mrs. Benson, saw them coming into your house not long after but before the 3pm power outage which I was able to triangulate did in fact originate from your home.” Agent S tapped the circled part of the inner portal mechanisms. “Now did you happen to push the on button in the Portal before plugging it in?”

“On button?” Maddie asked with a dry mouth, overwhelmed by the amount of information being thrown her way. All she could think about was how Danny hadn’t seemed sick when they’d left that afternoon but had looked awful when they returned. Would he have really gone downstairs and messed with the Portal? Had he gotten hurt? Been contaminated down there? Images of Vlad’s sickly visage after his accident flowed through her head. She should have paid more attention but she’d been so excited about the Portal working...

“It’s right here in the blueprints you submitted to the patent office, buried under dozens of other hardware bits. Its small, such a little thing compared to all the moving parts required to open up a dimensional portal. Daniel was a bright boy, his middle school records prove it. A bright mind, friends to impress, no parents around to chastise him... I think you can see where I’m going with this.”

“No, no,” Maddie said, burying her hands in her hair. “No, I’m not. You’re saying -what? - that my teenage son turned on the Portal when we were gone? No, my Danny wouldn’t lie to me about that... Why wouldn’t he say anything?”

“I don’t blame him for not mentioned in because, if my hunch is correct, he was inside the Portal when it turned on, killing him instantly,” Agent S said with a carefully neutral face. “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I’m afraid this haunting has gone on long enough.”

“My child is alive!” Maddie screeched, standing up in her chair. “Danny is alive and healthy and he is not a ghost!”

“I will admit the evidence of how he died is circumstantial but the fact that Danny Fenton is deceased is not.” Maddie fell back into her chair as he legs gave out underneath her. 

She watched the agent put paper after paper in front of her and detailed all sorts of data about her son that Maddie, who lived in the same house as him, had missed. Unusually high ectosignatures picked up by GIW (and their own) detectors, Danny being spotted in some form before most ghost attacks, faked signatures of hers getting him out of nurses’ visits. Maddie barely felt alive herself as she stared at a red light camera photo of her baby sitting atop a light post late, late at night. His eyes were a toxic green color.

“I know this must be distressing as a mother but your child never left that basement, never attended high school and will never achieve his dream of working for NASA.” Agent S said with carefully measured sympathy as she gathered up her papers and put them back in her case. “But you are a brilliant scientist, unlike your husband, you should be able to look past your emotions and see that your child is gone and the ghost he left behind is dangerous.”

“My husband?” Maddie asked blankly, running a finger down Danny’s unnatural photograph.

“I approached Jack two days ago, mistakenly believing he would be the most understanding of you both. He refused to believe the evidence and was, in fact, going to warn your son’s ghost that we planned on taking him. He is safe but he presently being held at one of our facilities until the capture is complete.” Maddie should feel outraged at her husband’s kidnapping but all she could think about was the fact that her son was dead, dead, dead, killed by her own invention over a year ago and she never noticed. How could she not have noticed?

“Daniel’s ghost is extraordinary, not only able to pass as human so accurately for so long but immensely powerful. We need to make sure he doesn’t harm anyone else. Think of his friends who are probably being forced to aid him and keep his death quiet. Think of your husband, your daughter, living in the same house as a dangerous ghost.” Agent S dropped some of her professionalism and plucked the photo of Danny out of Maddie’s hands and replaced it with her own tiny hand. 

“I know this is impossible thing to ask but I must do it anyway, will you help me capture what remains of Danny? There is a chance with his charade exposed, he will be able to move on and so will you. You have been wronged, Maddie. You have been denied the right to process and grieve your child by his own ghost. But a delayed mourning is better than none. Danny’s death is a tragedy but please don’t let it become someone else’s.”

“Maybe he’s not-” Maddie’s breath hitched, “he’s never shown any signs of aggression. Jasmine spoke of benevolent spirits... maybe-” Agent S sighed roughly and retracted her hand to grab another photo from her case. Maddie was surprised when she held up a picture of Phantom. 

“Ignore the glow,” Agent S instructed. “Change his white hair to black, his green eyes to blue. Think of how often Phantom is spotted in your neighborhood, around Casper High. Remember how he always has his hands on your technology,” the agent frowned. “Think of how he grins when he sees you, like he knows something you don’t. Like it all just a big joke you’re not a part of.” Maddie felt like she’d been slapped.

“Your son is dead,” Agent S said more forcefully, throwing the picture of Phantom next to the spooky one of Danny. “And his ghost has taken his place, taunting you, stealing energy from your family, from the portal that killed him. Phantom’s power is increasing too rapidly and soon we won’t be able to contain him. It’s why I was brought in to identify his haunt so that he could be stopped before anyone else died.”

“I will state this plainly, I am giving you the chance to participate in putting your child to rest but you are not required for this operation. If you refuse, you will be confined with your husband until Phantom is taken down. Do not let this monster with your son’s face trick you any more. So I ask again, Maddie Fenton, will you help us stop Phantom from making a mockery of your son’s memory?”

XxX

“Mom! Jazz! I’m home!” Danny announced, kicking off his shoes and grabbing a paper out of his backpack as he walked into the kitchen with a grin. “And I have a present! Jazz’s tutoring paid off, look at this A I got on my history test! Well A- but a solid A-!” 

“Oh... that’s great,” Mom muttered quietly. She was sitting at the kitchen table, not cooking or tinkering with some gadget. Just sitting there quietly, twiddling her thumbs and not looking at him.

“Is everyone okay?” Danny asked, dropping his bag on the floor and walking over to his mother. “I saw Jazz at school but is Dad okay?”

“No, everything is not okay,” she said turning and looking at him with tear-filled eyes. “Someone died, someone I love dearly and I’m not ready to let them go,” she sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “But they've been gone for a long time, even if I’m just hearing about it now. I’m upset but it’s better to know and be grieve than to go on in ignorance, living a lie.”

Danny was about to ask who had died when something was jammed into his neck and he was shocked within an inch of his half life. His body spasmed to escape but his mother was gripping his arm to hold him in place. He transformed unconsciously but that only made it worse. He fell to the floor, ectoplasm leaking off his form as he could barely hold himself together.

“Mom,” he croaked, reaching for her despite everything. She stomped on his hand which was practically goo from such a vicious, destabilizing ectoplasmic shock.

“Don’t you ever call me that,” she hissed through angry tears. “I didn’t want to believe it but the proof is right in front of me you horrible, selfish ghost.” She kicked him in the side and half of him ended up on her boot. “How dare you, how dare you impersonate my son! How dare you string me along all this time, make me look like a fool who had to told that her own child was dead! I bet you just laughed and laughed at our stupid, human ignorance of what your were!”

“‘lease,” he begged through the ectoplasm in his mouth. “I’m still your....”

“My son is dead and he has been for a while,” Mom said, throwing the ecto-taser away from her. Danny vaguely heard the door being kicked in and in his rapidly diminishing vision, he saw black boots and white suits. “With you gone, I can finally come to terms with it and not be tormented by an inadequate replacement.” She turned her back to him. “Get that filth out of my house, I never want to see it again.”

“Of course,” a quiet feminine voice said as his goopy arms were restrained with ghost proof cuffs. “I know this is hard, Maddie but you made the right choice for your family and Danny’s memory. Jack will returned to you within the hour. I spoke to my superiors, for your cooperation, the Institute will take care of declaring Danny dead as well as covering costs for your boy to be laid to rest, the first step in moving on.”

“No, the first step will be removing that duplicitous monster from my home. It’s stolen enough of my baby’s life. Now please leave, I have - I have a funeral to plan.”

[scripttorture]

One of the central characters in a fantasy story I'm writing has torture as part of her backstory. She was captured by an evil race, and one individual in particular put her through a "training" regime designed to turn her into a useful/trustworthy slave. Specifically the goals of the training were:

- destroy her sense of self / agency

- overwrite her ingrained response of healing herself when injured (she has magical healing powers)

- an affectionate or worshipful disposition towards her captors

- immediate obedience to any command

I feel like both physical and psychological torture / mental conditioning are probably appropriate, though I'm leaning away from including sexual abuse. I honestly don't know much about torture at all and the only things that come to mind as producing a result similar to what I'm looking for are the Game of Thrones torture sequence and the use of obdience collars in the Codex Alera book series. The latter is very interesting to me because it is a magical device that inflicts pain in reaction to disobedience but also inflicts pleasure to reward obedience.

I guess I'm just wondering if you have any advice for what kinds of methods would be good to include in a process designed to produce obedience, rather than torture for its own sake or to extract information, as well as if there are any common pitfalls I should try to avoid in writing about such a thing.

The training itself won't be in the book, but I need to be familiar with it for backstory purposes because later in the story this character encounters her torturer again, and is subjected to some further abuse before she finally overcomes her fear and kills him.

Alright well I’m going to be straight up with you: the scenario you’ve presented is a very common torture apologist trope. It’s incredibly unrealistic. And it’s unrealistic in ways that support torture by claiming it can be ‘useful’.

 Which probably means that you’re new to the blog and haven’t heard me give this talk before. That’s OK, we all learn sometime and it’s not my intention to shame you for the fact you’re not as obsessed with this stuff as I am or couldn’t afford to shell out for the books.

 Torture does not produce obedience. The best evidence we have right now suggests it encourages active resistance.

 If you got a lot of your inspiration from Game of Thrones then frankly I’m not surprised you came up with apologia. The torture in that series is incredibly badly handled. And a big part of the point of running this blog is that most people are getting their information on torture from shows like that. Which happens because the research is inaccessible and hasn’t been popularised the way fictional tropes (sometimes fictional tropes literally started by torturers) have been popularised.

 The important thing is what you choose to do now.

 I’m going to break down the problems here and make some suggestions for what you could do instead.

 Firstly: there is no torture or abuse that will guarantee obedience. Pain does not make people meek or compliant or willing to follow commands.

 Torture survivors are not broken.

 They are not ‘controlled’ by their torturers and the suggestion that they are is used in the real world to bar real survivors from treatment. It is also used to bar them from entering safe countries and to argue that they shouldn’t be allowed visas or passports.

 The best statistics we have for any sort of compliance under torture come from analysis of historical French data where torture was used to try and force confessions (something we know torture can sometimes do).

 The ‘success’ rate averaged at 10%. Under torture 90% of people will not comply long enough to sign their name.

 Secondly: torture does not and can not ‘make’ a victim feel ‘worshipful’ towards their torturer. The suggestion is kind of like asking if someone can tap dance immediately after removing the bones from their legs.

 Torturers have no control over a victim’s emotions. They have no control over their symptoms. They have no control over their beliefs.

 And there is no such thing as a torture that can change someone’s mind in a way torturers can control.

 Once again, this fictional trope is used by politicians and the media to justify marginalising real torture survivors.

 I have read hundreds, possibly thousands, of accounts from torture survivors. I’ve read historic and modern accounts. I’ve read accounts from all sort of people from all over the globe. I have never seen a survivor say anything positive about their torturers. I have never seen anything close to toleration.

 A lot of survivors are blisteringly angry at their torturers. A lot of them feel overwhelming levels of spite and some report literally putting themselves at risk of death in order to spite their torturers. And yes, a lot of them are afraid too. None of these emotions are mutually exclusive.

 Affection is impossible. We are not wired that way.

 Thirdly: I understand that ‘evil races’ are a long standing fantasy trope but it would be remiss of me if I didn’t mention the racism inherent in that idea. That some people are ‘born bad’.

 I’d strongly suggest you look up the Black, Indian and First Nations people that I know are on this site critiquing these kinds of fantasy tropes. Because they will be able to explain it better then I can.

 Fourthly: the term ‘psychological torture’ is a pretty common dog whistle for torture apologia.

 Most of the time tortures that people dub ‘psychological’ are things with real, physical effects that lead to lasting injury and death. They just don’t tend to leave obvious external scars. I use Rejali’s term ‘clean torture’ for these techniques. Researchers distinguish them from scarring tortures because they are harder to detect and prove in court.

 The majority of survivors today will have experienced clean torture. They will have no obvious physical scars. But they will still be disabled. They’re ‘just’ less likely to see any form of justice for it.

 Fifthly: torture is a terrible training method because it decreases a person’s ability to learn.

 Torture causes memory problems. It also often causes lasting physical injuries that make performing basic tasks more difficult. And it causes a lot of serious psychological problems which make performing basic tasks more difficult.

 A trained person who was never tortured will always out perform someone whose training involved torture.

 I probably sound quite angry here.

 I write fantasy and I also write about torture a lot. But I can’t imagine that it’s just flavour for a fantasy world or some artefact of the past. Torture is a real, present threat in the country that I grew up in. If I was to return now I could, literally, be tortured and executed.

 If you want to include torture in your world, in your story then you are committing to telling someone else’s story. You are representing an incredibly marginalised group of people and you are presenting that representation to a third group, one that has never had contact with real torture survivors.

 Are you comfortable with the idea of telling your peers that survivors are still controlled by ‘the enemy’? That they’re passive? That they don’t have the capacity to make their own decisions?

 Are you comfortable knowing that the popularity of this message keeps millions of genocide survivors in refugee camps, blocked from citizenship, aid and safety?

 I understand feeling attached to a story and a character. And I understand that this information is hard to find. Hell I’m probably going to end up with the only English copy of one of the pivotal textbooks because I’m shelling out to get it translated.

 You say you want to write a torture survivor. With respect I don’t think you know what a torture survivor looks like.

 I think the most helpful, and kindest, thing I can do here is describe what torture does to people. Because I can’t tell you whether that’s something you want to write. I could try and rebuild this scenario for you (and if you decide you’re interested in that after reading all of this and all the links then I suggest looking through the blog tags for ICURE, torture as training, Black Widow and Overwatch.) But I think you need to decide whether you actually want to write a torture survivor first.

 Here’s a post on the most common torture apologia tropes.

 Here’s the post on the types of memory problems torture commonly causes. I strongly recommend picking at least one.

 Remember that this would never go away. Improvement and recovery in torture survivors means learning to live with symptoms. The symptoms themselves are permanent.

 It’s a hundred different alarms set up on their phone to try and make up for the forgetfulness that makes them miss appointments. It’s the little bottle of perfume in their pocket to bring themselves back to reality when they get intrusive memories at work.

 Here’s a post on the other common symptoms.

 You want something in the range of 3-5 of those, though more are likely if your character is held for years. Each of them should be severe. Every single symptom should have a large, negative, impact on the character’s daily life.

 Do you know anyone with chronic pain? It warps their world. Work can become impossible. Basic household tasks like getting dressed, cooking, cleaning the dishes are done through gritted teeth or not at all. Hobbies and ‘fun’ activities dwindle as they struggle to find a way to do them that doesn’t hurt. Interaction with other people, even loved ones, can easily become barbed.

 Because the pain makes everything more difficult. It means everything takes more energy, more effort. Which means that things fall by the wayside, whether that’s by a pile of mouldering dishes in the sink or snapping at a child. It means tears and the social judgement that follows them. It means the world narrowing as it gets harder to go out.

 Do you see what I mean? Every part of life.

 That’s an example for one symptom. You need to work out at least four. Then figure out how they interact. Then figure out what the character can do to make her life better.

 With chronic pain that can mean painkillers but it’s always more then that. It’s re-learning how to do things; how to put on trousers without aggravating the bad knee, how to sew with one hand. It means learning to cut down on what they do and it means learning a new sort of flexibility; accepting that there are days when the pain is too much.

 It can mean having the same conversation about disability over and over again. With family, with friends, with colleagues. ‘I can’t do that.’ ‘I can do that sometimes but not always.’ ‘That will hurt me.’ ‘I can’t use that chair.’ ‘I can’t get my arms that high above my shoulders.’ ‘I need help with this.’

 And that sometimes means learning a kind of patience that is really barely held back rage. Or perhaps I’m projecting a little with this last one.

 If you’ve never met a torture survivor, if you’ve never looked at a survivor’s work, then all this is difficult. You’re trying to imagine something from first principals with nothing to fall back on.

 So let’s bring some survivors into the discussion here. Some reality.

 Who’s listened to Fela? How about Bobi Wine?

 Fela Kuti was the father of modern Afro beats music. He was tortured multiple times and during one attack, which destroyed his home, his mother was murdered by the military. When he got out of jail Fela marched her funeral procession past the biggest barracks in Nigeria’s biggest city. He wrote two songs about this attack and he doubled down on his opposition to the military government.

 Fela’s music started causing riots.

 You can read what I have to say about him here. You can listen to his music on youtube.

 Here’s an interview with Bobi Wine, which was conducted shortly after he was tortured in Uganda. He talked about how he was determined to go back and continue fighting. Which he did. He even ran against the president.

 I’ve also got a short piece on Searle who was a cartoonist captured by the Japanese during World War 2. His drawings of what happened in To the Kwai and Back are worth seeing. Especially if you want to write atrocities on this scale. They will show you the scale and how to focus on the small, human elements despite that overwhelming scale.

 Alleg’s The Question is pretty much a must, it’s one of the most thorough accounts from the Franco-Algerian war.

 Monroe’s A Darkling Plain is also a must, it’s a series of interviews with survivors of various different conflicts and atrocities. Some are torture survivors. Some are not. It is essential reading because it shows the variety in survivors as well as giving a sense of their lives beyond the symptoms.

 Finally Amnesty International has literally hundreds of interviews and studies available for free online.

 The most important decision for any story with regards to torture is whether it should be there at all.

 So much of this topic is intimidating and so much of it is difficult to write. Not just in the ‘oh this is horribly effecting’ sense but in the ‘I have twelve things to juggle in this simple scene’ sense.

 Ask yourself what torture adds to this character and this story. What does this backstory actually give this character?

 Because if the point is to have her vulnerable and then ultimately triumphing violently over her attackers I don’t think you want a torture scenario. You could get the same thing from a bad guy trying to drug her and having the kidnapping fail when she fights him off, clumsy but effective nonetheless.

 And she could still come out of something like that traumatised.

 Right now I really don’t see this adding anything but torture apologia to your story.

 Handling torture well in a story means accepting that it can’t be the same story without it. It means watching the characters and narrative warp under the weight of it. It means lasting effects, for all the characters and for the world itself.

 I believe you are capable of writing that if you want to, pet. But this ain’t it.

Edit: I’m having trouble seeing the beginning of the answer here. Can anyone let me know if there are formatting issues again please? The first word in the htmal is ‘Alright’ but what I’m seeing on tumblr starts 8 paragraphs in.

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[andrea-lyn]

The Recs (Less Travelled)

I’m excited to bring you the first installment of my ‘roads less travelled’ recs! I will be doing another round of this, probably once the Ted Lasso fic tag hits about 25 pages, and then I’ll also grab a couple more fandoms to collect in there! 

The Rules:

Each fandom/pairing was sorted on Archive of Our Own by completed works. Anything recced here was not in the first ten pages when sorted by kudos at the time of reccing. There may be some more well-known authors on this list, but the specific fics I’ve picked are ones that didn’t crack that top ten or just didn’t get much traction and I think deserve it, so hopefully I have also balanced it out with other under the radar (and still great!) works. As ever, I have a pinned post of my other recs (none have been duplicated from there), so you can also check those out! Under the cut you’ll find 10 recs in each fandom for:

Raven Cycle

Roswell New Mexico

The Old Guard

Inception

Star Trek (mainly Kirk/McCoy)

The Raven Cycle

savor all the little pieces by littlelionvanz

“Since when do you garden?”

Ronan snorted, “Since I grew up on a fucking farm, genius. Jesus who gave you permission to pursue higher education.”

the old grip of the familiar by littleseal

"There is a single black feather and a printed out picture of Gansey, Blue and Cheng standing in front of some fucking monument Ronan didn’t care enough to remember the name of. Gansey sent it to Ronan’s phone some time ago, but it sat in his messages until Adam picked it up and grinned at it so hard that, one afternoon later, Ronan cursed and kicked and glared his old printer back to life in order to print it out.

Fuck, he thinks, I’m in love with a hoarder."

Adam collects things. Ronan is in love with him.

No Sweeter Innocence Than Our Gentle Sin by gansey_is_our_king

Ronan Lynch has wanted to kiss Adam Parrish for a long time.

(alternately titled: four times that Ronan could have kissed Adam)

Cheers to Another Seven Years! by skyermirth

Adam left Henrietta for Harvard and never returned. Now, seven years has passed, and an unexpected work assignment has brought him back to a place and people he hardly recognizes.

Row, row, row your boat by emmerrr

“What. Why are you smiling at me,” he says suspiciously.

Adam shrugs. “You’re cute.”

“I’m not cute, I’m terrifying.”

“Terrifyingly cute,” Adam says.

and now the world is ours to take / and every single move is ours to make by thatlittleblackcat

"Adam was the scientist, Ronan was the data, and Orphan Girl was the key that explained the strange outliers that Ronan presented, his previously unexplainable actions."

//

Adam sorts out his feelings, Ronan helps him, Gansey is the number one dad friend, Blue is the number one mom friend and Henry tries to make Ronan smile. Otherwise known as the story of how Orphan Girl became Opal.

All These Things You Make Me Feel by SilverOpals394

It was late. Adam could feel the long day catching up to him as he left Boyd’s, all his energy exhausted. When he started his car, the tape deck whirred to life once more. He sighed and raised his hand to turn it off, but before he did a soft melody began to play.

AU in which the mixtape Ronan made for Adam only plays the murder squash song until Adam realizes he's in love with Ronan, too.

Ways to Communicate by Jalules

Blue Sargent reflects on an early memory (and gets busy with her boyfriends.)

(The two things are related, trust me.)

Hold Me Closer, I'm Safe in Your Arms by actuallyronanlynch

“You wanna tell me why I had to hear from Henry Cheng that my boyfriend was at the hospital?” Adam hissed, though his voice wasn’t as acidic as it could’ve been. Ronan took small victories where he could.

“You don’t have a cellphone,” Ronan pointed out flatly. “It’s not like I could’ve gotten a hold of you.”

arts and crafts and the inevitability of death by sunshineinthestorm

Adam comes to the public library in search of a study spot, not a boyfriend. 

But it must be his lucky day—because he ends up with a bit of both.

 Roswell New Mexico

a conversation between insignificant others by Bellakitse

“Hey…have you noticed that our boyfriends are madly in love with each other?"

“You noticed that too, huh,” she answers dryly, letting out a huff of reluctant amusement.

***

Forrest and Maria share a drink and a conversation and start a friendship.

Own Personal Hell by BeStillMySlashyHeart

Now that Isobel's getting the hang of her telekinesis, Michael decides to test out his telepathic abilities. It backfires. Badly. Now Michael's trapped inside his own mind and only one person can break him out.

Drop the Hammer by brightloveee

Max makes a new friend at the shooting range, who turns out to be even more bad-ass than he expected.

(Takes place mid-S1)

Boys Like You by forgadgetsandgizmos

Curly, dirty blond hair (the mere description ‘curly’ felt like an injustice) twisted in every direction off his head, a sharp contrast with the scruff darkening his strong jawline and scowl-ridden face.

Alex made a mental note to compliment Maria on her excellent taste in men.

—

Or, Alex has coffee with Maria's one-night stand, a man who he definitely does not have a crush on.

let's exchange the experience by lostin_space

Michael decides they need to quarantine.

OR

Michael floods Alex with love and care over and over and over.

This Is Hardcore by Anonymous

Michael makes a proposal. Alex accepts. Michael wonders what the hell he’s gotten himself into.

i don't know what to think (but i think of supernovas) by Milzilla

michael discovers that the console can talk. then, he discovers it can do far more than that.

iridescence on skin by Lire_Casander

In a world where (almost) everyone has a tattoo on their right wrist with one set of coordinates that point to the place where their soulmate is born, Alex thought he wouldn't be any different. He couldn't be more mistaken.

He has two.

The Real Thing by elliebird

Max checks on Michael the morning after Michael saves Max’s ass from Wyatt Long and his dumbass buddies. He sees more than he’s supposed to.

Written for a Tumblr anon who one of their friends walking in on them or anyone of them finding out about Michael and Alex in an interesting way 

Sundering by romancandles 

“You know it was just an Air Force balloon, right?” says Alex.

Michael smirks. “That’s what they want you to think,” he says, with a wink.

The Old Guard

Peer Reviewed by ishandahalf

[From:] Journal of Medieval Studies (jms.eds@jms.com)

[Subject:] Ad-hoc note from the editor

I have noticed an uncommon level of animosity in your responses to your reviewers (or rather, one reviewer in particular). I am writing to ask if you would please do your best to keep your interactions civil. In fairness, I have also sent a similar request to the reviewer you seem to have this friction with. I trust you will both try and remain more professional in the future.

Again, thank you for submitting your work to this journal.

Sincerely,

James Copley, PhD

Editor-in-Chief

Journal of Medieval Studies

An (accidental) academic epistolary romance as (inadvertently) documented via a (theoretically) rigorously blinded peer review process.[citation needed]

third for a word and the song keeps going Macremae

It was honestly shaping up to be a pretty uneventful year before the Vatican got on Nicky’s bad side.

Or: three times in 2008 that the team genuinely thought about killing Nicky if only to get him to shut up about the changes to the Catholic English Mass and his unrelenting opinions on them, and one time Nile did.

Apex Predators In Island Ecosystems (Freeman et al., in press) by Sixthlight

Palaeobotany PhD student Nile Freeman and her supervisor Joe al-Kaysani are invited to billionaire Stephen Merrick’s new project – a theme park full of cloned dinosaurs. What could possibly go wrong?

This Rough Magic by Marivan

When Joe came to Scotland to study the sea, he did not expect to also encounter a beautiful man claiming that A. he’s a selkie and B. they’re married because Joe picked up his scarf.

It sounds like a fairy tale and that’s a problem. Because Joe’s a scientist. And selkies don’t exist.

Wars for the broken by Yuliares

Five years into his exile, Booker is joined by a companion he never expected to meet. Together, they try to work on healing.

Sometimes they go down to the sewers just so she can scream and scream. “I like to hear it echo,” she explains. “Underwater, you can’t hear anything. Here, at least I can be heard.”

“I don’t feel like a warrior anymore,” she tells him, throwing bread crumbs at pigeons. “I feel broken.”

“You’re still a warrior,” he says roughly. “This is still fighting.”

a good (eighth) impression by deanniker

Over the next few months, Joe runs into Nicky every so often at the farmer’s market. Some weekends Nicky doesn’t make it, because of his work schedule - Joe doesn’t understand it because he doesn’t ask, though he does start to recognize when one of those missing weekends is coming up because Nicky will stock up on things with longer shelf-life. When they do run into each other, they make small talk and move through the stalls together.

Joe doesn’t mention it to Lykon when he stops by, because it is kind of weird, that Lykon’s ex-boyfriend texts Joe things like - If you’re here, the apples look particularly good this week and thank you for that recipe, I did not know what I was going to do with that much couscous

Or,

Joe wouldn't usually consider starting anything with his best friend's ex, but as long as they keep it casual, it shouldn't be weird... right?

get back to where you once belonged by tenderjock

Nile takes a sip of her cappuccino and closes her eyes.

(Booker and Nile get that coffee. Life happens, along the way.)

a house; a home by mehm

“Is this a kidnapping?” Joe asks as Nicky checks both their seat belts. “Like, I don’t mind. It’s just not quite what I expected for my birthday.”

In which Joe gets a birthday surprise, because that’s the stuff you have time for when you and the love of your life become mortal at the same time.

the ties that bind by damaskrose

“There’s a story I heard many times,” Andy begins, “in the Mediterranean. Threads of fate and three sisters. One to spin, one to measure, and one to cut.”

Clutter And Croutons by flawedamythyst

Joe and Nicky have an argument, and then Nicky talks to Nile about what it really means to be in a relationship for 900 years.

Inception

My Big Fat Slightly Annoying Wedding by jibrailis

Arthur and Eames elope for ~tax reasons. Certain people in their lives are not happy at the lack of a wedding.

Remember Sydney by pathera

When Eames shambles into the safe house outside of London, he finds a red light blinking on the phone.

For the inception_kink prompt:

Arthur is on a plane which is about to crash. No way anyone is going to survive. Instead of panicking he calmly calls the team's office and gets the answering machine. He hangs up before the plane crashes.

Give me Arthur's last message to the team.

 (TW: Character Death / Angst)

Of Such Deceitfulness and Suavity by delires

In which emotions manifest themselves in unusual ways.

YO, K2tog (it's like a code) by lazulisong

“Oh my God,” moans Arthur. “I’ve paid less for Somnacin. Good Somnacin.” A horrible thought strikes him. “How much is the yarn --”

“I want you to have an unguarded reaction,” Eames tells him, and pulls him up from the floor.

(They run an extraction on a knitter.)

hit the ground running by orphan_account

"I travelled halfway around the world for you. I dealt with the French for you."

Valley by wldnst

It's an old story: a knight, a prince, a kingdom in peril.

If This Is Rain Let It Fall On Me and Drown Me by Brangwen

We used to be so brave, Eames thought. Of the two of them, Arthur had always been the more fearless.

a gentle familiarity by jollypuppet

Two weeks later, Eames is on his doorstep with bad Italian takeout and a grin, and Arthur tells him he can sleep on the couch.

Your Crisis Cannot Be Completed As Dialed by sevenimpossiblethings

Arthur doesn't do snow, Ariadne is determined to be as Midwestern as possible, and blizzards make cell phone service unreliable.

Let’s Say I Do (I Do) by xsilverdreamsx

There were, perhaps some things worse that this, Arthur thinks, as he glares at the letter in his hand with his name printed clearly in bold ink, indicating his presence in two weeks for his esteemed marriage to one William H. Eames, III, at St. Catherine's Church in London, England.

Star Trek (predominantly Kirk/McCoy)

Show the World That Something Good Can Work by knune

Leonard McCoy is a doctor, not a personal assistant, and maybe that's why he can't stand working for Jim Kirk.

It's in the little things by winterover

Bones is bemused by a persistent secret admirer.

"Wedding" Away with It by pendrogon

One morning, Bones wakes up and he's single. By the same afternoon, he's married to Jim Kirk for Arbitrary Fic Reasons(TM).

How Long Will You Stay (For Your Whole Life) by withthepilot

Jim Kirk, deputy director of the Enterprise parks and recreation department, sees all of his hard work fall to pieces when budget specialist Leonard McCoy arrives from the state capital to cut Jim's budget and threaten the livelihoods of his colleagues. But thanks to a major parks project, Leonard finds a place in the department, as well as in Jim's life—and when all is said and done, Jim doesn't want him to leave.

All-Time Favorite by mardia

What to do when your best friend suddenly starts making new friends. 

Joy Ride by Cards_Slash

While running for their lives from an alien species Kirk had accidentally enraged, they come across a car. And well, if you were to come across a car while being chased by aliens that wanted you dead, and you possessed some lingering knowledge of how to drive a car similar to said car, you would have decided to drive it toward the nearest cliff too.

Also a gunfight.

Syncytia by epistolic

He’d signed up for Starfleet on an impulse, but Starfleet meant James Tiberius Kirk: the first – and second, and third, and fourth – big mistake of Leonard McCoy’s life.

Renovation by canistakahari

Jim has a whammy put on him by an alien death ray and he suddenly craves domesticity. He's crazy with longing to shop at space!Ikea and get potted bamboo and he starts looking into adopting AND HE HATES HIMSELF AND CANNOT CONTROL THE SHIT. Luckily, McCoy is drunk all the time and plays house.

17:08 by butterflycell

She'd watched the news holos with a sick feeling, searching for information that was completely obvious in its absence. Amidst the reports of the the Enterprise's miraculous recovery and the damages sustained, there had been next to nothing about the crew or her captain. Jim had been mentioned only in passing, his name shied away from as his first officer limited interaction to the bare essentials.

The Honey of Hybla by shrift

"Bones, prepare to be my date."

[somecunttookmyurl]

sorry if there was another part of this post/those tags that i didn’t see but… i don’t think that doctor was trying to say that doctors know more about drugs than pharmacists do?

i’m an md also, i graduated from medical school a few years ago. and that person is right. we do learn about pharmacology and drug mechanisms and interactions in medical school. at my school (which was broken up into long blocks by body system), this was all integrated into everything else we were learning, meaning it was on every test. and it’s continued to be on every test i’ve taken since graduating. the point isn’t that we know more or even nearly as much as pharmacists about pharmacology, but that we know enough that someone who completely ignores the concept of drug interactions or the idea that different patients may metabolize certain drugs differently is a bad doctor. and i’m sorry that you’ve run across so many of them

the thing about medicine is that there is so much to know about human anatomy and physiology and disease that it’s basically impossible for any one person to know it all. medical school lays the groundwork, but there’s a reason we specialize, and spend 3-7 years in additional training in our particular field. it’s important to know what you don’t know (which is a lot, no matter what kind of doctor you are or how long you’ve been practicing). that means consulting with pharmacists when prescribing a new med or changing a dose whenever possible, just like you’d consult, say, a nephrologist when treating a patient with kidney disease. but when there isn’t a good pharmacist available, it means looking up that information yourself. i may not remember every single drug that interacts with warfarin, for example, off the top of my head, but i sure as hell know that it’s a long list and i better check everything else a patient is taking before prescribing it

anyway, good pharmacists are an incredible resource and i wish we had more of them at my hospital. and if you can’t admit that there are things you don’t know, medicine is not the field for you

yeah i've had like. no joke. 2 good doctors in 31 years. and one of them i don't even get to see again it was a one-off. but i am surgically attached to my GP until one of us dies and by god i hope i go first.

(incidentally those 2 doctors are the only ones i've ever met who even knew that differing drug metabolism on different pathways was even a thing like at all. my old psych straight up said "never heard of that, don't think that's true" even when i was presenting him with literal medical journals to the contrary like okay buddy good talk let's never do this again. i wish so much this was an uncommon experience bc i for one am tired of giving the TED talk)

readmore bc this got long

the fact you guys don't learn stuff to the same depth as pharmacists was really like my entire point. i mean, sure, you have some knowledge on it but normally pretty limited to within whatever field you practice. you've only got a limited number of brain cells. if you did have all that knowledge then pharmacy wouldn't exist as a separate degree in the first place.

so a doc coming onto that like "oh we do know side effects and get tested on interactions" is uh. i mean do you? a little, sure, but there's a limit to that knowledge by design. it's really the pharmacists who know, you know? they're the experts on it, and it kinda struck me as "i did a bit of training on this so i know everything" which is an attitude i encounter.... a lot with doctors, sadly. along with the assumption a patient can never know anything about their condition/have any input or ideas of any value/that there may be gaps in their own knowledge.

[also along with complete lack of intellectual curiosity which always baffled me like "welp, don't know what that is goodbye forever" do you not... want to know? not even a little bit? god why are you even here. if all you wanted to do was flowcharts and tick boxes there are plenty of careers in the data entry field. not quite sure why you went to medical school my man]

you sound like a good doctor. hold onto that. sadly you're more the exeption than the norm, as pretty much anybody with a chronic illness or unusal presentation/response can attest. also women, and POC.

if you've got it in you to keep at it without having a nervous breakdown (rather have you in the field than out of it babes) absolutely chew out any other doctor you catch acting like a Supreme Unquestionable Being Who Can Never Be Wrong though.

honestly? i think, genuinely, most do start out like you (you said you only graduated a few years ago right? so you're still new really) and... at some point along the way they become fucking insufferable.

i don't know if it's burnout bc it's a stressful job, or if having power over the health & wellbeing over other people eventually goes to your head, or you get stuck in "what i learned 20 years ago is still unquestionable" or "i've been doing this for years pfff i don't need to check things anymore" complacency or what but there is for sure SOMETHING that changes in a whole lotta doctors. hold on to how you practice now. be one of the few who STAY like that 10, 20, 30 years from now. please. stay curious, stay cautious, stay sharp.

i don't hate doctors (i say it jokingly, true, but don't take it personally) but i have absolutely met enough of them that don't listen, or check, or investigate that i heavily side-eye a new one until they demonstrate otherwise. you're listening to me and working with me and checking things? cool! i'm still gonna double-check anyway because even good doctors make mistakes,

but a good good doctor doesn't take offence at that anyway. i mean. it's my health you're in charge of here. remaining alive and not hospitalised is generally preferable.

hey, maybe it's a bit harsh to judge from a couple tags but coming onto a post saying that pharmacists are the real drug nerds here and doctors have limited knowledge about that (with a heavy dose of complacency a lot of the time, tbqh) so please make sure stuff is checked with "we do know about interactions we get tested on it" sent up a HUGE "i can't admit when there are gaps in my knowledge and can't handle being questioned" red flag.

[wiifactsplus]

Note: This post is adding on to a Supper Mario Broth blog tweet. Feel free to visit the attached link to view it.

Supper Mario Broth On the My Nintendo website, the user's Mii will be engaged in a random activity on the top of the page. One of them is painting; clicking the Mii will reveal one of 8 paintings that appear with varying rarities, 5 of which are related to the Mario series.

This is not where the Mario references end in the "Mii Stage", as the My Nintendo website calls it internally. (Since I could not find this section of the My Nintendo website referring to it by any specific name elsewhere, this is what I will be calling it from now on.) There are many more to be found in the activities acted out by the Miis. Of course, it seems many qualities of My Nintendo are based off the Mario universe - the logo is shaped like Mario's hat, the platinum points have a Super Mushroom on them, and the gold points have a Super Star on them. However, the references go deeper than that.

But first, you’ll need a Mii. If you do not have a Mii in your Mii Studio, this sign will be sitting in the middle of the Mii Stage, bouncing up and down occasionally. Clicking on it takes you to my.nintendo.com/mii, which redirects to studio.mii.nintendo.com, the Mii Studio. This event is called “Mii unset”.

Here’s the full sprite, extracted from the (US English) site data:

And now, from the original tweet that sparked this post, here are all eight paintings extracted from the website data, thus being the highest quality versions of them.

Additionally, a behavior in this activity that was not mentioned by Supper Mario Broth (due to it not pertaining to any Mario reference in particular) is that while the Mii is painting, they will stop and think every three to four seconds. And once they are clicked on and present their painting, they'll assume a proud pose.

And here are the sprites extracted from the site:

As mentioned, the "easel" activity is not the only one to contain references to the Mario universe. The next one is the most interesting, known as "game". This activity has the user Mii playing a video game on one of three randomly chosen systems (technically four, as I'll explain in a moment): a NES, a SNES, or a Nintendo Switch. The game they're playing is randomly chosen depending on the system. Clicking the Mii will turn off the game, and the Mii will turn around furious until you click again to turn it back on, where the Mii will resume playing. The possible games on the NES are Super Mario Bros., Donkey Kong, and Ice Climbers.

The games on SNES are Super Mario World, Super Metroid, and Super Mario Kart.

The Nintendo Switch only has one game, Splatoon 2, and unlike the other games, the image on the screen isn't a regular in-game screenshot, but a promotional screenshot for the game.

Unfortunately, due to how the files work for this event, I can not be sure there isn't some extremely rare game I simply haven't come across yet. However, I can say that I spent a good few hours refreshing the page and didn't come across any more, so I believe it's safe to say there aren't any.

Now, 7 games may seem like an odd number, but in fact, there are 10. Take a look at the extracted sprites here.

Notice how you can see all the available systems here - the NES, SNES, Switch, and one more: the Famicom. The images that appear on the Famicom's screen are exactly the same as the NES ones, but are still stored as separate images, bringing the total to a round 10. If you live outside of Japan, you will likely never encounter the Famicom sprites. They only appear when you're logging in from Japan, and the NES ones will then also not show up any longer. However, I am based in the US, and couldn't get these sprites to load. This isn't the first time Nintendo has done this NES/Famicom location-based swap, either. It's happened many times before, even in Wii Music with the NES horn instrument. Instead, an anonymous user was able to help collect screenshots of the Famicom using CPU Mii Abby.

Next is the balloon activity. Here, the user Mii will be tied to three balloons, and flailing in a panic.

Clicking them once will pop the blue balloon, clicking them a second time will pop the red balloon, and clicking a third time will pop the yellow balloon, and the Mii will fall. Once it lands, it will strike a landing pose.

However, on a rare occasion, the yellow balloon will be replaced with a Boo enemy.

The first two balloons will function normally, but clicking on the Boo will instead make it fade and float away instead of pop.

Another rare event can happen once per day. Similar to the Boo, the yellow balloon will be replaced with a platinum point balloon, along with a thought bubble containing a platinum coin, and popping it will reward the user some platinum points.

However, whenever they land, they will instead strike a different pose, and hold a platinum coin.

The stage will then fade to white and the user will be rewarded with 10 platinum points. Here’s the extracted sprites:

Next, we have the fishing activity. Sometimes when this is encountered, the user Mii will have a thought bubble with a platinum point inside.

Though most of the time, the Mii will not have the thought bubble.

Every now and then, the user Mii will make a surprised face. If the user clicks the Mii during this time, then they will catch something.

If the user clicks the Mii any other time, the Mii will attempt to catch something anyways, but will pull up with nothing. Clicking again will make the Mii put their line back in the water.

If the Mii catches something with a thought bubble over their head, they will catch 10 Platinum Points.

Failing to nab a successful catch with the thought bubble over their head will not result in any penalty.

Any other time, a randomly selected object from these four will be caught instead. The first object is a boot.

The rest of the objects are Mario-related, starting with the Cheep Cheep enemy.

The next is the Blooper enemy.

And the last is Mario's cap.

Here's a dump of all of the sprites.

And last for Mario references, the "plant" activity. This one contains the rarest event of them all, along with a Pikmin reference. The most common event for this activity is a basic looking plant.

You can click on the user Mii to water the plant as many times as you'd like, but nothing will happen. The plant will just bounce in a small animation.

Here are all of the normal plant's sprites in its animations.

A rarer event can occur in this activity where instead of a basic-looking plant, a red Pikmin head will appear instead.

Like the plant, you can water the Pikmin as many times as you'd like. However, whenever you water it, it will peek its head out for a bit, also spraying some dirt particles.

Here are all of the Pikmin's sprites in its animations.

And lastly, the rarest event I've seen in the Mii Stage.

This plant may appear empty, but once you water it...

...a vine from Super Mario Bros. will sprout out from the pot, and won't stop until it's off the top of the screen.

Here is the image used for the vine.

And here is a dump of all of the other sprites in this activity.

But we've made it this far. Why stop at the activities with Mario references and just talk about all of the Mii Stage activities? There's only three left, so let's get through them!

In this activity, your Mii will appear holding either a red or black 3DS. Clicking them will cause them to disappear in a puff of smoke, and teleport somewhere else on the Stage. This is seemingly all it does.

There's this one where your Mii will appear on a ladder wiping down the gold points jar with a cloth.

Normally, your Mii will appear behind the jar, but sometimes will appear in front of the jar instead.

This activity doesn't seem to do anything, as attempting to click on your Mii will simply bring up the gold points menu as if your Mii wasn't there.

And lastly, the first activity many will see that appears weekly. The user Mii will run from the left and right sides of the screen, chasing a rolling platinum coin.

Clicking it will reward you with your weekly sign-in bonus of 30 platinum points, and the user Mii will dance in place, holding a platinum coin.

Here is a dump of all the sprites for the weekly activity, mostly consisting of Mii (female, lime green) animation poses:

And to close this lengthy post out, here are the loading sprites for the Mii Stage...

...And my recreation in .gif form.

Thank you for reading.

[twstgameplay]

In Defense of Defense Tests

For those of you that are wondering “Why is it that my score seems to vary wildly whenever I try a defense test? What exactly do I need to score high?” I present a not-so-light analysis based on the Water Defense test that ran from 16 Jan 2021 - 31 Jan 2021.

This will get end up bit long winded, so I will keep most of it under the cut. I don’t say for certain if this is 100% correct, as this is only based on one sample size of tests. To summarize what I will detail below, what seems to be the key to getting an SSS from our repeated trials is: 

Last until Turn 5 (ending on first attack is recommended), 

Take ~30k in damage (unless ending on second attack, ~32k),

Have ~60% of health remaining (unless ending on second attack, ~55%).

Minimize taking Neutral/Weak damage as much as possible

Over the course of the two weeks that Water Defense was accessible in game, we attempted the test 125 times (of which 10 were SSS, 98 were SS, and 17 were S) and screen recorded each one. I watched each battle and collected the data points I believed would be a significant factor in determining the Score:

Remaining HP

Total HP(Initial HP + Heals)

Enemy Total HP

Total Damage Dealt

Total Enemy Damage Dealt

Number of [Neutral] Attacks

Number of Enemy [Neutral] Attacks

Second Turn 5 Attack (Y/N)

Most of these factors are obvious, as this is a Defense Test, and as the other mods and I have stated before, it’s imperative to last until Turn 5 with enough health leftover. What I am looking for in this analysis is something more specific.

Let’s look at four examples that I’ve sorted in Remaining HP order:

This was the highest score captured that did a total damage of 82220 against the enemy, and took 25097 points of damage. The Remaining HP was approximately 65% of the Total HP

This attempt had the second highest Remaining HP value, but because it ended on Turn 4, the score dropped as expected. It did 74872 damage against the enemy, and took 24194 points of damage. The Remaining HP was approximately 66% of the Total HP

Out of the three SSS scores here, this was the lowest SSS score, with approximately 62% of the Total HP leftover. This test caused 86117 in damage and took 26820 points of damage.

Finally, this attempt was the only one of these four that ended on the final attack of turn 5. That explains the dip in the Remaining HP, only retaining approximately 58% of the Total HP. It did more damage than the first example above, but less damage than the third example (85612). It also received the highest enemy damage (29802)

These help show the variability of the results.

Why point these out? Doesn’t it make sense that the more you last, the higher your remaining HP, the better your score?

Yes, but lets delve deeper－

In the Basic Tests, in general all you need is:

Overkill on Turn 3 or Turn 4

At least three duos

At least 80% in the battle gauge

I plan to find what the thresholds we need for a score of SSS on Defense Tests. Before I start throwing this into my statistical software, this is what I believed was needed by simply eyeballing the dataset:

Last until Turn 5

At most 30k in damage from enemy

At least 60% of health remaining

First things first, I imported the data into my statistical program and looked at distributions.

Sexy~

The distributions themselves don’t really give me the information I want, however. It just lets me take a look at what kind of distribution I might be working with. The Total Score and the Percent Health Left do tend to barely look like normal distributions, so that is a start.

Next, I created a model based on the factors that I’ve collected, with the Total Score as my response variable, the thing we’re looking for. I won’t go too far into statistical jargon, but using a stepwise model, I was able to remove a few of the factors that weren’t significant. Namely the Enemy Total HP and Number of [Neutral] Attacks. I had already discounted these two before I even ran the model, so I was pleased to see that my software thought the same.

The model of significant factors I ended up with were:

Total Damage Dealt

Total Enemy Damage Dealt

Number of Enemy [Neutral] Attacks

Second Turn 5 Attack (Y/N)

And a calculated column of the % of Health Remaining

I’m a visual person, so I made another chart based on these factors:

(Total Damage Dealt was the least significant of all the other factors, so I opted to look at it with the Total Enemy Damage. Number of Enemy [Neutral] Attacks will also be covered below.)

Just by the pretty colors and shapes alone, you can see that scores that reached 20k or above tended to be on the first attack of Turn 5, take less than 30k damage, and over 60% health remaining.

Hey, I’d say my eyeballing was good!!

Within this batch of attempts, only three of our SSS scores didn’t follow this pattern. Two of them ended on the second attack of Turn 5. The third one is a battle that mimicked the results of many of the other SSS tests before it, but took in about 3k more damage than the rest.

Doesn’t that mess with your prediction?

N-no! Don’t call me out like that! (>3<)/

The two that ended on the second attack still was within the margin of error for my prediction, taking no more than 32k in damage, and having approximately 57% of health left.

One other aspect to keep in mind, although it sounds obvious is minimize taking weak/neutral damage. This was not something I was looking at originally, but I found that there was a difference in score when we took 1 Neutral attack vs 2 or 3 Neutral attacks. (We took no Weak damage)

That third attempt that skewed my prediction finished the battle with approximately 59% of its Health remaining. Oo, so close. But based on the other attempts with similar Health, Damage Taken, etc, it should not have gotten a score of SSS. Yet it did. Why?

Because unlike the other battles that ended in a similar position, that battle only took one neutral attack from the enemy, instead of two or three. Out of the 10 SSS scores, 7 of them completed taking only one neutral attack, while 3 took two.

Based on this quick analysis, both visual inspection and effect screening, I have the hypothesis I presented at the beginning. Statisticians don’t like to deal in absolutes, so this will always be just a theory.

I hope this was at least interesting, I know it was a lot of numbers. I tried to avoid jargon and simplify most things, but there’s just so many interesting points to find when you’re going through so many of these battles!

As with all games, there is a bit of RNG that plays into it that I may have missed. Does it matter that Malleus buffed twice in one battle, but only once in another? Maybe. Do I want to go back through 125 battles to determine that? Absolutely not.

I’d close with saying that although I laid out what is most likely required, this does not mean that it’s not possible to get the SSS score in other ways. Finishing on the 4th turn with more HP remaining is quite possible. But in order to spread out and hone in on a more accurate threshold, there would need to be more occurrences of 4th turn SSS, and we were unable to do that during the Water Defense Test.

Perhaps next time! I look forward to updating my assumptions when I collect data from the All Defense Test~

-🐬