#when i picture myself happy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

humandisorderincarnatedean · 9 months

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dean makes the decision to erase himself from ben and lisa’s lives because he doesn’t want them to remember the bad stuff. he doesn’t want them to have the memory of being possessed, almost dying, almost losing your mother. he doesn’t want ben to look at him and remember having a gun put in his hands and being told his mother’s survival depended on him, that's the last thing dean ever wanted for ben.

and he makes the decision to erase himself from them because he doesn’t want them to remember the burden of loving him, of being loved by him, thinks this is the only way he’ll be able to leave them alone. if they never knew him at all. thinks this is the only way he won’t want to go back to them and they won’t keep being hurt by the memory of him. thinks this is the only way he can cut himself off from them as he should’ve done before they could get hurt. part of him is afraid they wouldn’t be able to forgive him, but another part of him is even more afraid that they would. because he doesn’t trust himself to leave them alone and not put them in even more danger.

#dean winchester #ben braeden #lisa braeden #.txt #when i picture myself happy

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dammjamboy · 22 days

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i got to meet scorpy, baaulp, holly, trog, kami and the tortured soul of wayne today :') i finally got to gift scorpy the socpens funko from years ago. a quest finally completed.

they were all so so kind and i couldn't be happier to finally get to meet the people who've inspired me for years 🥹 thank you rtvs!!!

#i wont lie i didnt think itd get to go to the meetup bc i couldnt afford pax this year bc of my injury #so when i saw the announcement this morning it was like oh shit okay i guess i CAN go #i only had like an hour to prepare. otherwise i would have brought them all art and something better for them to sign #but im really happy with these #um on the off chance any of rtvs see this post thank you for making the meetup accessible to people who couldnt get pax tickets #pax was like the one birthday present i was gonna get for myself and the meetup was a huge bonus but then BAM no work bc injury #so getting to still go to the meetup was so so awesome :')#socpens #bauulp #trog #hollowtones #wayneradiotv #rtvs #my pictures

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bold-embrace · 2 months

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🎇

#wip #delete later #I have literally learned nothing and need to actually pace myself when I draw bc my wrist is not happy w me rn #but natsume makes my brain go brrrr #not pictured: me struggling to draw tanuma's hair. and head. and

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morningstar-darling · 1 month

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she's got those lips, she's got those hips, the life of every fuckin' party 🫦💃🏼

#as a rule i am wildly self conscious about my stomach and thighs #so when i take a full body picture and I'm feeling myself it's a big deal #nsft #star snaps #submisive and breedable #wet and needy #bd/sm brat #bd/sm community #attention wh0r3 #big tiddy gf #is there a tag for tights? eh #anyway happy Sunday to you all mwah

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otaku553 · 4 months

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Hi omg I love your Spade! Sabo AU so much- you draw all of them so beautiful!!! I was wondering if I could do fanart?

Fanarts of spade pirate sabo au are of course very welcome!!!! And thank you!! I’m so glad you enjoy the AU!

#not pictured because I don’t have the time to animate it: my pupils dilating like cats when they get excited #and vibrating myself into the stratosphere #I feel like I give kind of toned down reactions when I respond to things but literally seeing art of things I’ve created makes me SO HAPPY

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sketch-wolf · 2 years

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This was supposed to be a simple doodle of mew but then my hand just kept on going. Happy Ace Week everyone 🖤🤍💜

#pokemon #pokémon #mew #ace week #ace pride #asexual #lgbtqia+#queer #wolfart #picture post #i've drawn some pokemon by myself lately which helps me practice cell shading as well #and i'm pretty happy with how this one turned out so i wanted to post it :3 #i spent way to long fiddling with the wavy lines of the flag than necessary probably to make it look nice #fabric is one of my worst enemies when it comes to drawing

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seafoodsoda · 2 months

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The rest of Week 1 and the beginnings of Week 2 for Artfight, hopefully I can keep up my momentum! I don’t think I’ll have a problem though, doing Pokémon fanart seems to really be drawing out my passion (and featuring my first revenge! 💜✨)

(OCs belong to: @waywardstation , sirenshores , @darkmedolie , and wet , in that order!)

#artfight #artfight 2024 #seafoam vs stardust #my art #oc art #Pokémon #pokémon oc #not my oc #I really need to not set the bar so high for myself when it comes to backgrounds #those wave took days #and honestly sometimes I cannot think up a background design that would make me happy #so I end up doing the simple flat gradient ones like the last picture

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alluralater · 4 months

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sharing my health progress from the last month <3

april 28th: extremely ill + no sleep in days, no food in 8 or 9 days, extremely dehydrated, still trying to smile through it

may 19: eating a cheese stick or a meal once a day, sleeping better, drinking water like a pro, getting some of my color & health back

today, may 29th: feeling much better + eating at least one meal a day :) still lots of pain and nausea in the mornings but i’m doing a lot better!! can’t drink 64oz of water per day like before but i’m really grateful that i’m able to drink a little more than a quarter of that and im SUPER excited to get back to the gym in the next few weeks. i’m looking more and more like my normal self each day <3

#allura.jpeg #seeing it all side by side is really encouraging <3 #things were a little scary there for a bit lmfao but i’m extremely happy for the progress i’ve made in the last month and wanted to share <#my muscles atrophied a bit unfortunately but that just means i gotta build em back up. let’s do thisssss (in a few weeks. if i went now i’d #probably pass out halfway through my cardio)#anyways yeah :)#oh AND i wanna say that im really happy to be falling in love so- there’s that too 🩷#none of these have filters on them and #it makes me so sad to see how dead my eyes look in that first set. i took the other silly one because the one showing my eyes and such #scared the fuck out of me. i try to take pictures of myself smiling when i feel really fucked up physically but yeah that was hard to see.#glad i have them to look back on now though and see such a difference!

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volivolition · 7 months

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lmao get loved loser!! get absolutely fucking treasured!!

#disco elysium #disco elysium skills #electrochemistry #volition #de electrochemistry #de volition #de skills #the furies #skillship #volistry #WOE. 10 MILLION KISS ATTACK. IDIOT. (affectionate)#wanted to make an actual profile picture for myself and decided to be INCREDIBLY self-indulgent and draw them romantically right away #in actuality i have a 13k+ slowburn wip of how they go from enemies -> enemies with benefits -> friends with benefits -> lovers #please trust me when i say they take a while to get to [gestures at the picture] but i just so badly want them to be happy here hkjgh #voliart #de #skillshipping

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a-tired-human-draws-junk · 6 months

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"If you could see yourself like this, you'd have never tried it"

#more playing around with different medias #and also colors ig #i just like my funky art crayons #also i want my sketchbook to be prettier and colors are fun #uhh so idk why i keep drawing angst???#im actually pretty solid mentally i just think drawing it is fun dhhshds #lots of emotions and interesting ways to express stuff #if anybody is curious the words are refrencing the song call your mom by noah kahan #cuz it popped up and i was like #suddenly i want to draw #so #had alot of trouble w chuuyas face ngl #didnt really sketch any of this out except chuuyas face cuz i didnt wanna mess it up lol #nit totally happy w it but eh its a doodle im not gonna stress myself over it #anyways #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #soukoku angst #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #angst #bsd fanart #soukoku fanart #tw suicide #tw blood #also sorry for the bad picture it was 1 in the mornig when i took it lol #my art

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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 3 months

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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything #i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by #while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi #i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real #problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about #and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real #or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason #i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place #because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk #negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual #i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed #a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO #i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait #and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life #like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it #just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy #i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy #and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation #because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life #anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is #to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck

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britneyshakespeare · 9 months

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My toxic trait is that I like how my incomplete drawings look better than the finished things

#im sorry i cant be her (my searching lines)#i cant stop thinking about this drawing i have a sinking feeling that im gonna be very unhappy when its done #or. not unhappy. but not as excited as i feel about it now!#i only worked in two short chunks on it but both were pretty productive #i have a feeling that when i take the time to really dedicate myself to it im gonna fuck something up #like i can see areas i need to/can improve already but the glaring flaws are ok! bc it's not finished!#it OVERALL looks cool and LOOKS like it has the potential to turn out well #but will it... WILL IT??? WILL IT EVER?#i have never been so totally completely satisfied w any finished drawing ive dedicated myself to fully.#tales from diana #this is also only the second time ive done a really deliberate self-portrait that wasnt in some for or another. practice #like of course ive drawn my face before. not that often actually. but since yes i do draw. i have drawn myself #i probably should've drawn myself more times for how often i think id like a nice picture of myself #but then again its not gonna be so 'nice' if i make it and am not totally happy w it?#see one of the ppl who inspired me to learn to draw is ned @sneez my dearest. he's spoiled me before #and drawn me very beautifully on several occasions and it's very much a thing to move one's heart #to see someone dedicate their talent to depicting YOU.#and i might say HE has made me look more beautiful in art than i think i'll ever look in the flesh #which is not to say he drew me inaccurately. but he's so talented that his art is more beautiful than life.#and i dont compare myself in skill to him bc he's been doing it for YEARS and way more trained than me in the visual arts.#like it simply wouldn't be fair so i only compare myself to myself. naturally #but i used to think. very VAINLY i might say. that if i could draw like him id draw beautiful pictures of myself all the time #well ce n'est pas ca mon ami. since learning to draw i've found im much more interested in drawing ppl i find beautiful #rather than myself. im not art. not through my own eyes at least.#i should really draw ned sometime. i really should.#actually somewhat embarrasingly i tried to draw him like 5 or 6 years ago. and i NEVER tried to draw then #i did show him tho and he thought it was very impressive but that's probably just bc he loves me. xoxox #maybe ill post that someday as a throwback just for the hell of it. lol. thatd be cute

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coffeemira · 1 year

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need an age regression/de-aging fic where a post-KH4 riku has to take care of a younger sora, and bb sora is just completely awestruck over how strong and kind and pretty (and tall!!) his best friend riku got… and is so transparently smitten that riku, who is actually dating present-day sora, is just like: wow we really were oblivious how did either of us miss sora’s glaring crush on me??

#soriku #i’m picturing like… sora right before kh1 or post-kh2 #old enough to have butterflies over this other riku but not quite old enough to know what it means yet #just a puppy crush #there’s angst potential too if it’s kh2 sora before he found his riku #so he throws himself sobbing at older riku #but a BBS sora bouncing around teen riku would be very cute also #anyway i would write it myself but i don’t have the time #also am not confident about writing children #i just want riku getting to see firsthand that he wasn’t the only one pining for years and years #and that sora always loved him even at his worst #8yo sora doesn’t care that his riku teased him sometimes he still wants to play games with big riku #10yo sora doesn’t understand why his riku said they’re too old to hold hands #and is thrilled that big riku is happy to give him hugs and ruffle his hair #kh1 sora doesn’t care about their old ‘rivalry’ or that his riku was working with maleficent #he is just overjoyed to learn that riku came back to the side of light and that they get to be friends again #kh2 sora is loud about how much he missed him and very impressed by how far riku has come as a keyblade master #(also blushes when he sees him working out and then is confused as to why)#(i am thinking of that one manga panel where sora talks about riku’s “big arms” and how he can carry big logs by himself lmfao)#any of these soras would follow a cool older riku around like a duckling and be wowed by everything he does i am convinced

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sweetandglovelyart · 10 months

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I’ve been seeing a lot of really cool Kirby gijinka designs so I thought I would try my hand at making some of my own. Here’s my take on gijinkas of Taranza and Susie.

#Kirby #Kirby fanart #my art #Kirby gijinka #Taranza #Susie Kirby #Susie Haltmann #I went for a more cartoony look for them instead of an anime-inspired look #partly because I like cartoony art styles partly because I can’t draw in any anime inspired styles lmao #I wanted to give my Taranza design six arms instead of just giving him two arms or six floating hands #wasn’t entirely sure how to draw that at first though so I had to pull up pictures of Alexandrite from Steven Universe for reference lmao #that was the first cartoon character I thought of that had six arms she was a good reference for figuring out how to draw Taranza’s arms #Susie was easier to draw since she already looks pretty humanoid to begin with #when I finish my Meta Knight backstory comic I kind of want to draw a Susie redemption arc comic #I always see people complaining that she isn’t properly redeemed before Star Allies so I thought fine I’ll do it myself lol #still thinking of ideas for that but if I do draw it Taranza will be a pretty prominent character in it #I could see him helping out with Susie’s redemption and could see the two of them becoming friends (and maybe more than friends lol)#both of them have been through a lot I want them to be happy and they might be able to find some happiness with each other lol

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stupidscav · 9 months

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im just saying I like this sweater !!!

#i donr take pictures pf myself very often but when i do its wiyh this mask lmao #mask makes me feel better and more me. :3 #confident enough to take a picture !!! mask is very very good.#mask #otherkin #scavs silly misc #scav quit your yapping!!!#idk uf im a therian but ill still tag it if its relatable #therian #aaand it definitely doesn't fit with this post but ill still tag deitykin lol.#deitykin #i took this yesterday but it made me feel so nice ^^#idk why but even if im nb i still like wearing feminine thibgs sometimes #anyways. the sweater was so soft and it was shorter than regular sweaters so it i moved my arms up it would show my belly #so i wore a shirt under it but still!! i feel so happy. im more comfortable in my own skin #uhh oops i also wanted to impress my crushes oops. one of them said my sweater was gorgeous when i was talking abt it^^#happy scav

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teabookgremlin · 2 months

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impatiently waiting for my tattoo artist to send me pictures of the tattoo i got yesterday will post when i get them

#i’ll email her if i haven’t gotten them when i get off of work #i’m very pleased with it #happy my laika tattoo dreams have come true #i’d take pictures myself to post but a) it has the second skin on and b) it’s on the side of thigh so awkward angle to take a picture of

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