#when i was a kid i couldn't read english

[gay-robot-boyfriends]

i am awkward but i just wanted to say that i love your art so so so much!!;;o;; your art always makes me smile and happy and just overall fuels my giddy xzero soul. I still look at the comic you made with just awe and glee you really worked hard on it too!!! your tags always make my day too !!! have a good day :D

Hi! I'm also awkward! Thank you so much!! asdkashdksh That really means a lot! 😭 When that comic was in my head, it was going to take 5 or 6 panels to finish, but thinking about what the characters were feeling as it happened stretched it out to 29! It really was a labour of love, so thank you so much Q_Q

[in-tua-deep]

i need you to know that ever since three years ago when you posted the first part of your tua hogwarts au, i have been deeply obsessed with it. it has lived with me rent free for three long years. nonstop.

adfsSFDghASDF i'm glad !! i do really have a guilty pleasure for hogwarts aus, though it's for a version that i've built in my head based on my siblings retellings and fandom over the years! admittedly i,,, never actually read the whole series even as a kiddo

though fun fact: one of my earliest memories is going to see the first harry potter movie in 2001 when i was like, four-ish? i fell asleep and woke up during the part where the unicorn is being vampire'd which certainly made an impression lol

sometimes i think i'd like to properly write it up but that would require a deeper dive into hp than i'm willing to make tbh, though i get away with surface knowledge and quickly googled questions in my little scribbly tumblr posts ;3c

[mchiti]

my baba always tells me this story of how morocco was the destination of many bored rich intellectual expatriates who would go there to find inspiration back in the 60s/ 70s. He is from a small village near fez, but moved to tangier when he was very very young to find job opportunities because he was very poor and had an uncle there. And he always tells me how he'd meet american writers or musicians who would give him records and books. He always says he almost was introduced to the rolling stones one time loool [they'd also go there for "inspiration" same as writers or jimi hendrix. like if u look up pics of Essaouira, it's full of jimi hendrix references cause he stayed there for a while]. My brother and I always laugh at the rolling stones story because obviously we know he's making fun of us, but I find these stories so fascinating. They also make me a bit sad too. I'm not praising the old white bored bourgeois habit of "exotic travels to find yourself" - but nowadays if they do travel it's just 5 stars resorts in dubai or something, they don't even bother meeting locals.

[txttletale]

i'm so glad someone else was bitchy about that post bc i couldn't be bothered to when i saw it. the reason that literacy rates in the usa are poor is because of rising inequality and also because kids are just straight up being taught to read wrong. not because of fucking fanfiction or YA or 'puriteens' or whatever the fuck else is the bugbear of the week for people who still stake their self esteem on their high school english grades

[witchywitchy]

I wanted to share something personal because I don't think a lot of you understand the influence of the West and its atrocities on an Arab child's upbringing. English is not my first language; I learnt it initially due to my interest in the language and Western cultures. However, seeing the true face of the West motivated me to continue learning the language to dismantle the false image of Arabs and Muslims which was portrayed by the West. I also talk about how this impacted my standing with the Palestinian cause. Bear with me as this post is long and a little messy, but I need to try and give everyone a clear and full image as much as I can.

I grew up consuming Western media due to my fascination with the English language. However I noticed the lack of Muslim and Arab representation.

When I started seeing representation later on, it was mostly Arabs and Muslims being depicted as 'terrorists' and 'barbarics'.

When a Muslim woman is depicted, she is depicted as 'oppressed' and in need of 'saving'.

I was on social media starting from a very young age. Seeing people online describe my people as 'terrorists' was not only scary, but also confusing. Why am I as an Arab Muslim child -who's living a normal childhood as everyone else- being labelled as a 'terrorist' by the West? Why are people claiming all Arab and Muslim children are trained to use guns by ISIS or/and Hamas? I remember asking my parents as a kid "Is this a real gun with the police officer?" Because I only saw weapons in movies.

I asked questions such as "Why do they think Arabs = Muslims?" The lack of acknowledgment of Christian and Jewish Arabs and non-Arab Muslims confused me.

Why were Muslim women always 'oppressed' in these movies and TV shows I saw? This is not as common as they make it seem. Why are they using the struggle of some Muslim women to demonize an entire religion? Why are they pretending to be saviours when they're actually contributing to further oppression of Muslim women? Why are they weaponizing the awful struggle of some Muslim women against the vast majority of Muslim women? (White feminism is not saving us. It's actually a form of oppression of Muslim women)

Misrepresentation bothered me and made me angry and disappointed. I couldn't finish watching a movie or an episode of a TV show if I saw any mentions of Muslims or/and Arabs, because I knew what would happen next.

When it comes to the Palestinian cause, every Arab grew up watching endless footage of Palestinians being brutally murdered LIVE. Everything and all the footage all of you are surprised to see during this genocide, were a part of our upbringing.

When I was a kid I stumbled upon a newspaper in the house with a headline about a Palestinian father who returned to his house and found all his children shot. And I remember the image very well. The father was holding a prayer mat with people holding him as he broke down on his knees. His dead children were on the floor next to each other. Seeing this image of children my age murdered by the Israeli occupation shocked me. I remember my parents having to hide the newspaper from me because of the impact this image had on me.

I had to start reading into politics at a young age, and I realized that everything that Western media was trying to portray about the West being 'civilized' was a lie. How can you be civilized if you're a murderer or/and contribute to the murder of the innocent?

When I learnt about the history of imperialism, colonialism, slavery,...etc. growing up, I recognized the pattern that colonialists use and I saw that the colonizers of yesterday, are the same as today, except Western media is doing a great job covering for them nowadays, and a lot of people only started noticing that recently.

The West seemed fascinating to me as a child, but after seeing the horrendous false images that're being portrayed of my people in the West, all of my fascination turned into anger and motivation to fight against it.

The real terrorists in the world are not the brown and bearded men, veiled women, or the innocent children. The real terrorists are the ones who set the stage for the murder of innocent people, the exploitation of their resources, using propaganda and painting an image of the innocent that cannot be more false and racist, and the fascists that put on a 'civilized' mask.

I will forever stand with my Palestinian brothers and sisters. I will forever defend my Arab and Muslim brothers and sisters, and I won't give room to any misrepresentation. Enough is enough.

Edit: I wanted to add that growing up, I was scared of telling people about where I'm from, my religion, and what language I speak due to the microaggression and discrimination I was subjected to. Not to mention the amount of times I saw on the news Arabs or/and Muslims getting killed in Western countries (aka hate crimes).

[spencereid-reads]

the whole world | s. reid

wc: 3.4k words // warnings: english isn't my first language! soooo much fluuuuuffinessss, swear words maybe? NOT proofread as you can see., a kid, spencer being cute, aaah idk what else, i think this sucks but it's mother's day today where i live and for some reason i couldn't stop thinking about dad!spence so this was born. (ha, that was unintentional)

dad!spence x mom!fem!reader

you’re not really sure what wakes you up.

if it’s the change of temperature in the bed, a sign that spencer had recently gotten up and started his day. or if it’s the small, soft footsteps running around the house.

you know it’s taking everything in your little hazel not to spoil the mother’s day surprise she’s been working on at school. one of the many features she and her father share is their fascination to talk and talk about anything and everything, and more often than not, you are the person they tell everything to. so your daughter had been in a bit of a predicament since you first picked her up from school on a monday afternoon.

“had fun today, haze?” you asked, buckling her into her seat in the back of your car.

“yeah,” she nodded, kicking her legs in the air.

“what did you do?” it was the same routine every day, and she was ready to begin telling you all about the new special project they started working on when suddenly she heard her teacher’s voice in her head.

‘it’s a surprise for mommy! you all have to try and keep it a secret!’

“can’t say.”

“what?” you asked, leaning back a little, letting her bag drop below her feet.

“miss tate said we can only tell daddy! mommy can’t know until it's mommy day.” she explained.

“ohhh, you’re working on something for mother’s day, lovey?” you smiled as you caressed her cheek, cupping her face with your hand, she leaned into it instinctively.

“...maybe.” she grinned at you.

“okay, honey. you know you can tell me if you want to talk about it, okay? i know you must be so excited, and i promise you i’m not going to be mad, i’m going to love it no matter what it is, got it?” you pressed a few kisses all over her face, your heart melting at the sound of her giggles. “or you can tell daddy when he comes home, he’s good at keeping secrets, you know?”

“yeah! i tell daddy”

and every day leading up to mother’s day, she tried to skip the subject about what she did at school, and as much as you loved that panicked expression on her face, the way her hazel eyes widened and cheeks blushed you decided not to torture her anymore.

she’s so easy to read. just like her father.

her perfect, loving father. who told you to take a day all to yourself that friday leading up to mother’s day, it was also the day when the kids were sent home with the project, so it would also give spence and hazel the chance to hide it and perfect it.

while you enjoyed a day at a spa, filled with massages and pampering, your little loves were at the mall looking for a gift.

“what would you like to give her, haze?” spence asked, looking at his daughter through the rearview mirror. “what do you think mommy would like?”

“well, green is her favorite color. so, green?”

“something green, that sounds nice,” he nodded, his chest nearly trembling as he stole glances at his daughter. five years in and he still found it hard to believe he had a daughter. a child. a perfect, beautiful, smart and kind daughter. who looked so much like him and so much like you at the same time. “i heard her tell auntie em she needed a new handbag.” he suggested,

“we can buy her a green handbag!”

“i think that’s an excellent idea, hazey.” spencer smiled, holding the steering wheel with one hand, the other stretched out towards his child. “high-five,” he said, and felt her tiny hand smack against his, “good girl,” he smiled proudly.

since hazel was still in your womb, you knew she’d be a tall girl. i mean, look at her dad! but at five years old, whilst hazel is tall compared to children her age, she looks tiny when standing next to spencer. her head reached just below his waist, and her arm hurt whenever she walking alongside him because spencer pulled her little hand up to meet his, but she had to stretch so far up and it was just the sweetest sight in the world.

it’s late when you got home that night, thirty minutes past hazel’s bedtime, yet the moment you stepped in you heard the sounds of her favorite cartoon coming from the tv.

blossom instructs her two sisters in a plan to defeat that day’s monster, and you expected to find your own little powerpuff girl running around the living room, but other than the tv, the rest of the house was silent. you kicked off your shoes, walking to the coffee table to turn the tv off when you saw them.

spencer with his back on the couch, somehow his legs bent but still managed to stay upright, and your daughter resting against his chest, his arms around her, keeping her close and safe.

and you took a second or two to soak in the view. spencer’s head was to the side, and hazel was pressed so far into his neck that it’s hard to point out where his curls end and hers begin.

you walked to them, your hand reaching to play with hazel’s hair as you leaned to press a kiss to spencer’s forehead. it’s scary how quickly they capture your undivided attention, just the sight of either of them was enough to make you drop whatever it was you were doing.

“hey,” spencer’s voice was groggy, sleep evident in it and in the way he struggled to peel his eyes open, like his eyelids were begging to stay shut.

“it’s okay, go back to sleep. i’ll take her,” you said, but felt a light tug on your wrist.

“c’mere,” he mumbled, scooting to the back of the couch and making space for you. you gave in, squeezing your way in and adjusting hazel on top of you so you don’t choke with her hair against your mouth. “had fun?” you felt spencer’s hand on your waist, his thumb rubbing circles on your skin, sneaking under your shirt.

“yeah. thank you, needed it,” you don’t know if it’s the busy day you had, or just the sight of your two loves sleeping that made you feel tired, too. you covered a yawn with the back of your hand. “you?”

“mhm,” he hummed in agreement, “hazey couldn’t decide on one thing. said you’d loved so many things. got you everything.”

“spence-” you scolded lightly.

“i know. but you should’ve seen her. too cute. too much like you.”

“like you, you mean.”

“hmm,” he opened one eye, pulling you closer, being careful with your girl on top of you. “like us. she’s got the best of us.”

and she does.

she’s funny and smart like spencer, kind and caring like you.

you don’t know where the sassiness came from, though.

(kidding, it’s all spencer, he wouldn't admit it)

“daddy, can i put a candle?” hazel asks, she’s done with placing the grapes into a bowl and looking for something else to add to your ‘mother’s day pavaganza’, a phrase she’d picked up from hearing auntie penny ask about your spa day, and had repeated to her spencer, who didn't have the heart to correct her when she sounded so adorable.

“i just know those little geniuses have a big mother’s day extravaganza planned for you,” she’d said, just as hazel entered the kitchen.

“on the pancakes?” spencer asks, she nods. “sure,”

the drawer slams a little louder than she’d intended, her mouth forming a perfect ‘o’ as her eyes widen in shock.

“sorry, daddy!” she runs to him, one hand on the stool she’s currently trying to climb, the other fisting spencer’s pajama pants. “here,” she hands him the pink birthday candle you’d used for her birthday cake.

“thank you, hazey,”

you chuckle as you listen to them, you can’t hear all of it, but you can tell she’s getting louder the more excited she gets. it’s only a matter of minutes before the chaos that had been in the kitchen joins you in your bedroom. you pretend to sleep, curling into spencer’s side of the bed, and closing your eyes.

“she’s asleep! daddy, can i wake her?” you hear her laughing when you fake snore.

“go ahead, haze, gentle,” he reminded her, even though he knew you were awake.

“mommy,” you hear her running to the other side of the bed, “mama,” she climbs in next to you, lying next to you, you feel her breath on your face. then she presses wet, sloppy kisses on your cheek, and you swoon.

“hmm, who's giving me such sweet kisses?” you ask, being met with a grinning hazel as you open your eyes.

“it's mommy day!” she exclaims, arms looping around your neck with a strength you hadn't expected, “love you mommy,”

“i love you too, my angel, so, so, so much,” you wrap your arms around your little girl and hug her tight, setting your back against the mattress. you kiss all over her face and head, her little hands sticky and stained in maple syrup and jam.

“made you mommy day food,” she laughed as you tickled her sides. “daddy!”

spencer has taken residence by the end of the bed, the tray filled with breakfast set carefully on his lap.

“happy mother's day, honey,” he whispered against your lips, once the tray has been set in front of hazel, who can't help but pick a few slices of fruit to help herself.

“thank you, love you,” you kissed him once more, running a hand through his hair as you turn to look at your girl. “is it yummy?” you ask her as she pops a grape in her mouth, she nods, “i bet it's cause you and your daddy made it.”

it's a few hours later, after you're all showered and dressed, that you go downstairs and find the living room all decorated, with balloons and strings and three pieces of paper stuck to the wall that read ‘happy’, ‘mommy’, ‘day’ in spencer’s handwriting, but drawings made by hazel surrounding the words.

“mommy close your eyes,” you're sitting on the couch, all the gifts that hazel couldn't choose from are now open and on the coffee table. turns out the other gifts had just been little trinkets, a headband, a small bracelet, a keychain. “it's time for the surprise!”

“what surprise? i didn't know there would be a surprise!” your heart melted at her laughter.

“daddy cover her eyes,” she orders, and spencer makes his way around the sofa, standing behind you, he leans down, tilting your head back and pressing his lips on your temple.

“i’ve got it, hazey,” he nearly purrs against your skin, and as spencer continues his soft attack on your face, you hear hazel running through the house, “we hid it in my office,” he pulls back a little, staring at you with so much love.

“thank you for today,” you whisper, your cheeks were now hurting from the permanent smile that had been on your face the entire day.

“it's nothing, you deserve the world, honey.” and he means it. when he was young he'd pushed the idea of love to the side, with his job and his lack of social skills it was hard to picture a future with a family, but here he was. thanks to you. “i love you so much, you've got no idea,” he leaned down again, this time kissing your lips, accomplishing two things at once.

kissing you, and getting you to close your eyes.

“ready mommy?” you'd been so wrapped up in your husband that you missed your daughter walking back to you.

you looked down to see a scrapbook (just a few colored paper sheets binded by ribbon), a picture of you and hazel on the cover, in the middle.

“angel, this is beautiful,” you coo through teary eyes, embracing her fully before you even looked at the rest of the book.

the three of you settled on the sofa, with hazel between you two as she explained why she picked the pictures, something she'd done with spencer’s help. the pages were decorated with crayon drawings, glitter hearts, and stickers.

the last picture brought even more tears to your eyes, you were sitting in a hospital bed, with spencer by your side, his hand wrapped around your back, the both of you staring down at the new little baby that had just been born.

hazel’s first ever picture.

“look at this, hazey, you were so tiny,” you swallowed a lump in your throat, “and look at you now, you're so big, my sweet girl.”

“daddy said this is the day you became a mommy,"

“technically i was a mommy when you were in my belly,” you patted your stomach, “but my entire life was changed the minute you were born, i loved you before i even knew you, and i didn't know i could feel that much love for someone so little. hazey-” you said, shuffling her around so she was sitting on your lap, spencer pressed your back against his chest. you looked back at him, kissing his cheek.

“your daddy and i love you so much. it's an honor being your parents. every day i thank the stars that you're our little baby, that we get to raise you and see you grow. thank you for making me your mommy,”

“love you, mommy,” she nestled against your neck, “love you, daddy,” she reached up, puckered lips against spencer's other cheek.

“love you, hazey, you're my wish come true,” spencer placed a kiss on the top of her head.

that night, as you get ready for bed, feeling tired from all the emotions of the day, you snuggle against spencer's side.

“thank you for today. for helping haze,”

“of course, sweet, i told you, you deserve the world,” his lips meet yours in a gentle, slow kiss.

“i already have my whole world with me,” you tell him, voice full of sleep and love. “thank you for giving me my world.”

and if spencer had a time travel machine he would tell his younger self to not lose hope. the best years of his life were yet to come, his world wouldn't end when members of his chosen family left the team, his whole world and family were on the way.

[girlgenius1111]

wise beyond her years

sol meets someone, and it's doomed from the start. everyone can see it, except her. ingrid tries to balance being supportive and being... a parent?

based [ish] on the manuscript by taylor swift... mostly the lyrics "afterwards she only ate kids cereal and couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed"

------

You met her at one of Ingrid’s games. Mapi had gone down to the locker room at halftime, and you’d been content to sit in your seat and scroll through your phone until the team made their way back out. That was, until she slid into the seat next to you and introduced herself. 

Camila. She was a bit taller than you, the epitome of Spanish beauty. She spoke English with an adorable accent, and when you looked into her eyes for the first time, you were almost speechless. She looked to be a bit older than you. Maybe around Ingrid’s age. 

You should have known better. You should have thought about how odd it was that she’d been sitting a few rows up and only came to talk to you when you were alone. How those first few dates she took you on always ended with her getting you to invite her to the next Barça game. 

It was so easy for her. You were… healing. That didn't mean that you were healed. Freud would have rolled in his grave at how oblivious you were. Dating an older woman. Only a month or so after a huge fallout with your mother. Letting her talk you into things you weren’t quite sure about. Let her talk her way into your heart, making promises and declarations of love that came much too soon. 

She said that she loved you. And it wasn’t that you believed her, not really. You just thought that if you tried hard enough to be perfect, one day she would love you.

------

Ingrid had made her displeasure with Camila known to you from the beginning. She knew exactly what the woman was up to, it was obvious to everyone but you. She was using you because you were an easy target, and you were vulnerable and young and excited that someone was paying attention to you. 

You wouldn’t listen to Ingrid, though. Not when she warned you nicely about Camila, or when she warned you much more seriously. You ignored her words completely, dismissed them. And Ingrid didn’t want to fight with you, but she couldn’t hold back her feelings about this woman that had slipped into your life, so poor Mapi bore the brunt of the Norwegian’s rants about how Camila was not good enough for her Solstråle. 

This was the case today. You were off with Camila, and Ingrid was going crazy back home. It had been weeks, and this was still going on. The worry and concern your sister had for you was at a high, it was all she could think about. Mapi felt similarly, but she tried to keep her cool because she knew very well that telling you not to date the woman would only make you want to date her more. 

“She’s going to get hurt.” Ingrid said. 

“She might. That’s how she learns, though, mi amor. We have to let her make her own mistakes.” 

“Did you read that in your parenting book?” Ingrid asked with a slight smirk. 

Mapi flushed red, avoiding her girlfriend’s gaze. “It is not a parenting book. It is a… helping sad teens book.” She argued. 

Ingrid softened. “María, don’t be embarrassed. Getting a book to learn how to help Solstråle better… that is sweet and thoughtful. Just like you.” 

Now, Mapi was blushing again, but this time a small smile adorned her features, though worry was still clouding her eyes. “Are you sure it’s okay? I know she’s your sister, and I do not want to overstep.” 

Ingrid just shook her head. “No, you are not overstepping. I couldn’t do this without you, María, and I mean that. You balance me out. I was worried, for a while, about being too much like my mother. You’d never let that happen, though, and it’s like a safety net. I don’t need to worry as much about making a mistake because you’re always there to tell me when I’m not doing the right thing. And you don’t have to be, but you are. I don’t thank you enough for that, my love. I don’t tell you enough, how incredible you are,  for being so full of love, and so happy to share it with everyone you meet.” 

“I love you.” María whispered back. “I love you, and I love mi sol, and I tolerate her dog, but I love our family. Sol is a special kid and… I don’t know. I just want you both to be happy. I want you both to feel loved and worthy of love because you are.” 

Ingrid isn’t quite sure how this conversation about your ‘girlfriend’ had led to this incredibly mushy conversation, but she pulled Mapi into her and squeezed tightly. “ Don’t make me cry, Solstråle will be home soon and she’ll make fun of me.”

Mapi laughed loudly, quickly wiping a tear off Ingrid’s cheek as the front door opened, announcing your arrival home. When you walked into the living room, it was to see Mapi and Ingrid curled up together on the couch, which wasn’t an unusual sight. Nor was the way they were looking at each other unusual, either. Like seeing the other person smile could sustain the other for days. Ingrid and Mapi loved each other so deeply, and so easily, it was clear for anyone to see. 

You wanted that, you really did. And you thought you had it where you definitely didn’t. You’d have it one day, though. Something told you that. 

-------

You weren’t sitting with Mapi at the match today. Camila had wanted it to be a real date, and not be supervised by your sister’s girlfriend, though she still wanted to attend the match. You’d been excited about it, even though you’d spent most of your free time with her in the past couple weeks. Well, excited until she’d disappeared right before kick off to get you both waters, and had been gone for 20 minutes. 

You were really just worried that something had happened to slow her down, so you got up when an opposing player went down and headed off in search of her. 

You found her pretty easily, leaning against a wall by the bathroom, talking to a girl. A girl that looked to be about your age, that looked just like you in fact. You tried not to jump to conclusions as you froze, watching carefully from a few meters away. It was obvious, though, what was going on. Even more obvious when Camila reached out and tucked a piece of the girl’s hair behind her ear.

 It wasn’t immediately clear to you what to do. You knew you should be angry, but really all you felt was hurt. Before Camila could spot you, you headed back to your seat, and when Camila returned a few minutes later, you did what you were used to. You shut down. You answered her questions with shrugs or nods, even when she started to get annoyed that you weren’t speaking. 

You wanted to talk to Frido. Not Ingrid or Mapi, because they’d freak out. Mapi would get all weirdly protective and huffy, and Ingrid would just be furious that you hadn’t listened to her. Frido would listen to you, and tell you what to do. You couldn’t get to the Swede, though, not without seeing your sister and her girlfriend. And by the time the final whistle blew, Camila’s anger was simmering under the surface, and she practically dragged you from the stadium. You quickly texted Mapi, telling her you were leaving with Camila, before your girlfriend pushed you into the car and all but slammed the door. You winced at the sound, knowing that you shouldn’t feel guilty for how you were acting. Camila should be the one feeling bad, but you couldn’t help the nagging feeling to just apologize and let it go. 

It was like the old version of you and the newer version were fighting. Was this how you deserved to be treated? Had Camila really done anything wrong? Your brain was a mess, and as Camila pulled the car out of the parking spot, and began to drive, you decided that you just needed some space to think. 

“Can you take me home?” You asked quietly, looking at your girlfriend out of the corner of your eye. She seemed to relax a bit, now that you’d spoken. Camila didn’t look as angry anymore. Just worried. 

“Is everything okay? You’ve gone silent on me.” Camila asked gently. Or, at least, it sounded gentle. She was giving you a kind, concerned smile but there was a look in her eyes that made you kind of uneasy. You ignored it, focusing on the softness, letting yourself be lulled into a false sense of security. You told yourself to be honest, that it was probably just a misunderstanding. That Camila would make you feel better about it, explain it all away. And everything would go back to normal. 

“I just… I saw you talking to that girl by the bathroom. It looked kind of cozy.” You said cautiously. The car came upon an intersection, a red light, and Camila came to a stop before she looked over at you. The concern was gone from her face. The softness nowhere to be found. She just looked furious at you. 

“Did you follow me to the bathroom for a reason?” She asked venomously. 

You shook your head, surprised at the turn this conversation had taken. “No, no, you were gone for a while, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

Camila rolled her eyes as the light turned green, looking away from you and at the road. “Sure. I was just saying hi to an old friend. There’s no need to get all jealous.” 

“I’m not jealous.” You replied, sitting up straighter in your seat, a bit of anger flaring in you. Anger you hadn’t felt in a while, but a feeling that still filled your veins with fire. “I just wanted to know why you were flirting with someone while we were on a date.” 

Camila scoffed. “I was not flirting. I told you it was an old friend. I barely talked to her, what are you being so dramatic about?” 

“I really don’t think I’m being dramatic. I just asked you a question.” You said, trying to remain calm even as your girlfriend got angrier and angrier next to you. 

“No, you acted like a child. Going completely silent and ruining our date? I know you’re young, but I expected you to act like an adult and be more mature than that. It’s honestly embarrassing.” 

You felt your cheeks burn, and you chewed on your lip for a minute, trying not to say anything you’d regret. “I asked you a question, and you just keep deflecting. I don’t think I am being the childish one.” 

“Is this the mommy issues or something?” Camila asked, a cruel smile playing on her lips. You sat silent for a moment, not completely sure you’d heard her correctly. 

“Excuse me?” 

“The jealousy, the insecurity? I know your mom fucked you up, but this is ridiculous. We’ve only been together for a few weeks, why are you being so clingy? It’s fucking annoying, and I’ll tell you right now, no one on earth is going to want to put up with this. Especially not from you, it’s not worth it.” 

You blinked, completely shocked. You hadn’t expected her to get so angry when you’d been honest about your insecurity and worry. And you hadn’t expected her to throw things that you’d told her in a moment of vulnerability in your face either. “Are you serious?” You asked, voice cracking slightly. 

Camila let out a humorless laugh, parking the car in front of the cafe you were supposed to be going to. “Are you going to cry now?” She asked mockingly. “Christ, you really are too young. I don’t want to date someone this immature.”

You stared at her, feeling like you had whiplash from the turn this conversation had taken. It seemed like she was breaking up with you. Which was probably for the best, if this was how she reacted to you bringing up an issue with her. Still, it was like you were seeing a side of her you’d never seen before. Cold. Cruel. She looked completely unbothered as she unlocked the car doors and gave you a pointed look, one that clearly told you that this conversation was over. 

She looked unbothered, and you felt  your heart shatter as your biggest fear was coming true. You were too much. It had only taken Camila weeks to get tired of you. Hot tears fell down your cheeks, ones you desperately tried to hide. You were sad and embarrassed, but most of all. You just felt so hopeless. 

As you got out of the car, without another word said to your now ex-girlfriend, you wondered how you could have been so naive to think that someone would want you. Camila was right. You were too screwed up for anyone to choose you. 

You walked right into the cafe, making a beeline for the bathroom. Locking and shutting the door behind you, the last of your resolve broke, and you worked hard to quiet the broken sobs falling from your lips. 

Stupid. You’d been so stupid. It wasn’t the first time someone had broken your trust, or said something awful to you. But it was the first time since… things had changed. And somehow, you’d forgotten how much it hurt, feeling unwanted. You had been used to it, before, numb to it. Now, though, it burned sharp in your chest. Shame and sadness and anger and frustration. And still. That persistent feeling of hopelessness. How was anyone ever supposed to want you?

-------

Mapi had a weird feeling when you called. Your text after the match had sounded odd, and you were supposed to be getting coffee with Camila. She didn’t really have any other reason to be worried, but for some reason, she was. 

“Maps?” You greeted quietly. You called Mapi on purpose. She worried less than Ingrid, and while she disapproved of Camila, she had been pretending that she didn’t. Mapi was more likely to be willing to come and get you. Ingrid, on the other hand, you assumed would be too angry that you hadn’t listened to her. Too vindicated, and too caught up in being right to comfort you. 

“Hey, nena. What’s up?” Mapi asked. 

“Can you come get me?” You mumbled, the embarrassment of the situation really hitting you full force. 

“Send me your location, I’m on my way.” Mapi replied instantly, and you really appreciated that she didn’t try to get any details out of you, was just focused on getting to you as fast as possible. 

“Can you bring Scout?” You asked after a moment’s hesitation, knowing how Mapi felt about bringing the dog in the car with her. The simple question sent another wave of worry through the Spaniard’s body, knowing you really only asked for something you needed when… you really needed it. 

“Of course. Do you want to stay on the phone with me?” Mapi asked, rushing to grab her keys, ignoring the questioning look Ingrid was giving her from the couch, having woken up from a nap. 

“No, it’s okay. I’ll see you soon.” 

“Okay, mi sol. I love you.” 

“Love you too.” You whispered, choking back a sob as you hung up. 

“What is it? Where is she? Is she okay? Did something happen?” Ingrid asked rapidly, moving to get up from the couch. 

“Scout! Ven aqui!” Mapi called, rolling her eyes when the dog appeared instantly, as if he knew the reason for being summoned. “I don’t know, she just asked me to come get her. Don’t get up. Stay here, rest. I’ll get pequeña.” 

“But-” 

“No buts, princesa. Stay here. I’ve got this covered, we’ll be back soon. Don’t move from this couch, I mean it.” Mapi insisted, never one to take Ingrid’s recovery casually. 

Ingrid frowned but sat back down on the couch, watching as her girlfriend and your dog disappeared out the front door, both of them moving like they were on a mission. If there was one thing Mapi could agree with Scout on, it was that you were very important.

-------

When Mapi pulled up in front of the cafe, she saw you sitting with a to-go cup of coffee at a little table, staring at the ground. She parked quickly, finding a spot just around the corner,  before she got out to walk over to you, bringing Scout with her. Scout pulled harshly on his leash, and for once, Mapi didn’t mind. 

“Solstråle?” Mapi called when she got close enough, seeing your head whip up to look in the direction of your name. In a flash, you were abandoning your coffee and all but launching yourself towards Mapi. The Spaniard didn’t say anything, not quite sure what had happened but able to infer that it wasn’t good. 

“Thanks for coming so fast.” You said quietly, feeling just marginally better now that Mapi had pulled you into a tight hug. Scout nudged your leg with his nose rather insistently, until you pulled away from the hug and crouched down to pet him. 

“Of course, mi sol. I’ll always come for you. Did something happen?” Mapi asked, never not amazed by the way Scout instantly brought a small smile to your face, even if your eyes were still slightly wet with tears. 

“We broke up.” You said simply, though your voice cracked over the last word. 

“Oh, nena. I’m so sorry.” Mapi sighed. “Let's get you home, yeah?” 

“Okay.” You agreed, although you really weren’t looking forward to it. You wanted to go home, curl up into a ball and cry, by yourself. At the same time, you desperately wanted a hug from your sister. You were just completely convinced that she wouldn’t be willing to do that. 

-------

You walked into the house just behind Mapi, trying to take deep, steadying breaths. You were close to breaking down, and you didn’t really need to hear all the reasons that Ingrid had known this would happen. You didn’t need an ‘I told you so.’ 

Your sister was waiting for you in the entrance hall, pacing nervously, when you walked in. 

“Solstråle! What happened? Are you okay?” Ingrid asked as soon as you were through the door, ignoring Mapi’s look that was clearly telling her to be cool. 

“It’s fine, I’m fine. I want to be alone.” You said, pushing past her to head for the stairs. You heard Ingrid begin to go after you, but Mapi stopped her, telling her to give you a minute. 

-------

You collapsed onto your bed, Scout jumping up next to you like he thought it was a game. You just wished it would just swallow you up. It was only a few minutes later that you heard footsteps approaching your door, like you knew they would. A soft knock on your door interrupted your crying, and you hastily wiped at your eyes. “Yeah?”

Ingrid peaked her head in. “I know you said you want to be alone, but I just wanted to check…” she said, trailing off when she saw you valiantly fighting your tears. 

“I’m okay.” You mumbled, focusing on petting Scout, as opposed to looking at your sister. 

“Honey, you aren’t.” Ingrid sighed, moving in closer to take a seat on the edge of your bed. “You’re upset, that’s okay. You don’t need to be embarrassed.” 

“Well, I am. You were right. Is that what you wanted to hear?” You asked bitingly, not really intending to snap so harshly at your sister, but not quite sure you felt like you could trust her at the moment. 

“No, sweetheart, that is not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to be wrong about her, solstråle, more than anything. I am so sorry things didn’t end well.” 

“You aren’t glad that you’re right?” You asked, astonished. It didn't really make sense to you; all of this could have been avoided if you’d just listened to your sister. How could she be sorry for you when you’d blatantly ignored her advice? 

Ingrid shook her head, her face painfully full of pity and sympathy. “No, not if it means that you’re hurting.” 

“Oh.” You weren’t quite sure what to do with that. You’d been prepared to deal with this yourself. To be completely honest, you didn’t really feel like you deserved Ingrid’s support. You’d been so stupid not to listen to her. This was all your fault, really, and Ingrid shouldn’t have to deal with implications of something that was ultimately your mistake. “I’m sorry, I should have listened.” You said quietly, looking down, refusing to make eye contact with your sister. 

“Don’t be sorry, solstråle.” Ingrid sighed. You looked so distraught, but you were leaning slightly away from your sister, like you were afraid to accept any comfort from her. Like suddenly, you weren’t sure you trusted her anymore. And though that hurt, Ingrid really couldn’t blame you. Not when the universe seemed so dead set on making you miserable. “What can I do?” 

“I just want to be alone.” You mumbled, wrapping your arms around yourself, completely invalidating your statement. 

“No, you don’t. Look at me.” Ingrid instructed, waiting until you raised your head to look at her, very cautiously. “You’re allowed to be sad about this. No matter what happened, no matter what I said about her before. I never want to see you hurting. You don’t have to deal with this alone just because you made a mistake. Okay?” 

You held your sister’s gaze for a few moments, before you slowly nodded your head. “I really liked her.” You whispered after a minute, leaning almost imperceptibly towards your sister. 

“I know. Come here, honey,” Ingrid said, opening her arms for you to all but collapse into them. It was familiar, at this point, being held tightly in Ingrid’s arms. It never failed to make you feel better. And while Ingrid wished that things would just be easier for you, a very critical part of herself settled when you relaxed against her. The brunette was never quite sure she was doing a good enough job with you, but when you went to her when you were upset, allowed her to help you, even if it was rather hesitantly, it felt reassuring to her. It wasn’t full trust, but you were getting there. She must be doing something right if you were making progress. 

“What would make you feel better?” Ingrid asked after a minute, smiling to herself at how Scout had settled himself with half his upper body draped across your legs. 

“Nothing.” You replied pathetically. It wasn’t the first relationship you’d had, but it felt so much more significant than any of the others had. In just a few weeks, Camila had made herself one of the most important things in your life. You weren’t really sure how she managed it, but somehow, she’d gotten you to confess things you’d told very few people, learned more about you than many people did. And as soon as things had started to not go her way, she’d used all those things against you. It was the first time in a while that you’d really let yourself be fully vulnerable with someone, and it had backfired so horrifically. You were hurt, and you were embarrassed, but most of all, you were just sad. 

You thought this was going to be a turning point for you, but you didn’t realize you’d given Camila all of the ammunition she’d needed to make sure it was the biggest setback you’d face. Not until you were lying in your bed, wanting nothing more than to disappear. You’d been nothing to her. That was a familiar feeling, something that made every cell in your body squirm with anxiety. It was happening again. 

“What are you thinking?” Ingrid asked, interrupting your rapid stream of thoughts. 

“Is it me? Do I just… make people want to treat me badly?” You asked. It wasn’t the first time you’d considered it, but that particular fear had been dormant since everything had happened in the last few weeks. Since Ingrid and Mapi had made it clear that they wanted you here with them. It was confusing and completely contradictory, your brain couldn’t really make sense of it. Your sister and her girlfriend must just be the exception. 

“No.” Ingrid said firmly. “No. It isn’t you. You just have… bad luck. You make me and Mapi want to be better, Solstråle. Better for you, so that we can take care of you in the way that you deserve. You are good, Solstråle, and you deserve good, even when you don’t feel like it.” 

For some reason, Ingrid’s words brought tears to your eyes. Good tears. “Well, I can’t have all bad luck. I get to be here with you two, and I don’t know if I would still be…” you trailed off, trying to figure out what you wanted to say. “You both saved my life, I think. The two of you wanting me here, and taking me in, that’s good luck.” You managed, sitting up and shifting so you were facing your sister, who looked one word away from bursting into tears herself. 

“It’s not good luck, mi sol. It’s what you deserve. It’s what you should have had this whole time.” Mapi chimed in from the doorway, looking fondly at the two of you. Ingrid smiled at her in thanks, humming quietly in agreement with her girlfriend’s statement. The Spaniard wandered in closer, flopping onto the free space on your bed, causing a disgruntled Scout to shift, kicking Mapi lightly in the side. “That girl did not deserve you. And you’ll find someone who wants to treat you the way you deserve. You just can’t rush stuff like that, sí? It will come to you when it does.” 

It was potentially the most frustrating advice to receive, but it made you feel better nonetheless. 

“And she was kind of ugly.” Mapi said as an afterthought. 

“Mapi!” You laughed, smiling a real smile. Both girls’ faces lit up at the sight of the smile on your face, and both of them were desperate for you to keep smiling, for your face not to fall into the sad frown it had been in for the past hour. The conversation lulled, and Ingrid’s mind raced, trying to think of what people liked to do after breakups. She’d been with Mapi for so long, she wasn’t sure she remembered. 

“Do you want to lay in bed alone for the rest of your night, or do you want to watch a movie? Or we could go get ice cream. Or we could go shopping. Or on a run. Or-” Ingrid listed, only stopping when you cut her off. 

“Sister movie night sounds good.” You said softly, unable to express in that moment how much you appreciated how hard she was trying. You knew ingrid probably wanted to talk, to hear everything that had happened, but she was learning to respect that you really only liked to talk when you felt like it. Which wasn’t often. 

“Sister movie night, cool.” Ingrid said, trying to act like she wasn’t thrilled that you’d decided to be with her instead of requesting to be alone. “Go pick a movie, I’ll make popcorn.” 

You all dragged yourselves off your soft comforter, having grown rather comfortable, and headed for your bedroom door. 

“I’ll be in the garage.” Mapi said, smiling at both of you as she tried to wordlessly communicate that she knew you both wanted sister time, and it was okay that it didn’t include her. Both you and Ingrid froze, though, turning slightly to stare at her like she’d said something absurd. 

“Don’t be stupid.” You said, rolling your eyes. “‘Sister movie night’ obviously means ‘sister and her live-in girlfriend’ movie night.” 

Mapi looked a bit surprised, though she shouldn’t have been. There were very few times that you just wanted to be with Ingrid, and those times were becoming less and less frequent as you began to depend on Mapi more and more. “You want me to watch with you?” 

“Sí.” You said, almost exasperated. “Why wouldn’t I want you to hangout with us?”

“I just thought it was Engen sister time…” Mapi trailed off, looking uncharacteristically insecure.  

“Engen León family time.” Ingrid amended, looking at you for approval. You nodded. 

“Who else is going to talk the entire length of the film?” You asked, smirking and sprinting off down the stairs when Mapi gave you an offended look, Scout hot on your heels. 

------

The movie had been a good distraction, not that Mapi or Ingrid really paid much attention to it. Instead, they kept glancing over at where you were curled up on the couch. Scout had taken his place next to you, one of his legs stretching out every now and then to kick in Mapi’s direction. 

The conversation with them had obviously made you feel better, but they were still rather uneasy. You were acting completely normally, all of a sudden. And they didn’t buy it, not for a second. They weren’t sure what had happened, because you hadn’t said, but they knew that it wasn’t good. You’d been infatuated with Camila, and now you were reluctant to speak her name. Whatever had gone on had hurt you, deeply, but in the span of a few hours, you were acting like you were completely fine. 

To you, it just felt like there was no use in thinking about it anymore. Crying over what happened, being sad or angry with Camila wouldn’t help you. It wouldn’t make you feel better. You’d very logically taken stock of your emotions, before deciding that they were completely useless. You were fine. 

Well, maybe not, but you would be fine. Especially if you acted like nothing was wrong. Like you weren’t questioning every choice you’d made with Camila. Like you didn’t hate yourself. Emotions only had power if you gave it to them, you decided. Before, you might have been angry. Now, though, you just… forced it all off, far away. No feeling anything until it hurt less to think about what had happened. 

It seemed like a good plan to you, and you stuck to it. Even when you couldn’t fall asleep that night, your mind swirling with horrible thoughts as you tried to push them away. Eventually, you gave up, putting on a show and forcing yourself to focus on that, instead. 

It was obvious that you hadn’t slept the next morning, walking down to the kitchen like a zombie. Ingrid and Mapi were hoping you’d be a little more forthcoming with what had occurred today, but all hopes of that went out the window when you avoided eye contact with them, a hood pulled over your head, dark bags under your eyes. At least you there was no school, as you had the day off, but they had training, training they couldn’t miss. Neither of them felt very good about leaving you home alone, with no idea what was going on in your head. 

You were blankly shoveling cereal into your mouth when Ingrid got your attention. 

“Solstråle!” She said rather loudly. You jumped slightly, looking across the table at her in confusion. “I said your name 5 times. Did you not hear me?” 

Ingrid didn’t sound mad, just worried, and you felt your throat tighten. 

No. No. No tears. No sadness. That wouldn’t help. Self pity wouldn’t help. The only thing to do was to move forward. 

“Sorry. I’m just tired. Had coffee too late yesterday, couldn't sleep.” You mumbled, turning your attention back to the ceramic bowl in front of you. Your thoughts wandered, briefly, to the fact that since you’d moved in, there hadn’t been a single day where there wasn’t a box of your favorite cereal in the pantry. You really must have been feeling the complete lack of sleep, because that thought alone almost had you tearing up. 

“Come to training today. María is out on the grass, again, you can watch.” Ingrid suggested softly. 

You shook your head though, swallowing the lump in your throat. You didn’t want to be far from them, but you also knew that if they kept being so nice to you, you weren’t going to be able to keep it together. 

“I’m really tired, I just want to stay here.” You replied.  Ingrid looked like she wanted to argue, but Mapi nodded from where she stood at the fridge, filling her water.

“That’s okay. Stay here, have a chill day. We’ll be back after lunch.” She walked over to you, squeezing your shoulder kindly. The Spaniard said goodbye, before exiting the kitchen. Ingrid hung back, not really caring at all that she might make them late. 

Your sister stood from her spot at the table, and you mumbled a quiet goodbye, only looking up when she came to stand right next to you. Her hand pulled your hood down, her fingers tilting your chin up to look at her. Her face was pinched with concern, and you felt a pang of guilt that you were doing this again. Making them worry about you. 

“Try to sleep or something? You looked exhausted, sweetheart. No runs or hikes or climbs, please. Just stay here?” Ingrid asked, making sure to frame her request as a question, and not a command. 

“Okay.” You agreed, far too tired to even think about any of those things. You knew Ingrid just wanted you to stay where she knew you were, which was fine. You were honestly just surprised she hadn’t dragged you to training with her. 

She lightly patted your cheek, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Be good. I love you.” 

“Love you too. Play safe.” 

You were wide awake, completely wired. Even as everything inside of you told you that you should be tired, you felt like you might never sleep again. You kept your promise to your sister, though, collapsing onto the couch and putting a show on. Scout came to lay with you, falling asleep easily in your lap. You were jealous of your dog, you realized. It was an amusing thought, but all you felt was… Empty. Nothing. Because if you let yourself laugh, you were sure it would turn into sobs, and you couldn’t do that. 

You just had to be strong.

-------

You got into bed early that night, hoping that the added time laying down would help you fall asleep. You were so exhausted, truly, but as you laid in bed at 8pm, you knew instinctively that you wouldn’t be able to sleep again. Everytime you drifted off, your thoughts drifted too, and you’d jerk awake, struck with a reminder of what Camila had said. Her words were haunting you. Everytime you closed your eyes, you could see the sneer on her face as she spoke, and hear the cruel words she’d spoken. 

You were beginning to think she was right about you. How were you so screwed up after a relationship ended that had only lasted a few weeks to begin with? You thought you loved her, yes, but you were being dramatic. You shouldn’t be this devastated, and in your head, this only reinforced that idea that Camila had been right. You were too immature. You were too messed up. No one was ever going to want to deal with you. 

A soft knock on your door dragged you out of your thoughts, thankfully. 

“Come in,” you called. Mapi pushed the door open, taking in the rather unnaturally clean room around her. You’d gone crazy cleaning the night before, putting away all the clothes strewn across the floor. It was neat and clutter free in there now, and Mapi’s heart melted at the sight of the framed photo on your nightstand. It was of the three of you, a candid that Frido had taken after a match. It was little things like this that made Mapi deeply happy, and deeply sad all at once. For six months you’d lived here, and they’d given you the space they thought you needed. It was so far from what you actually needed, though, and Mapi couldn’t help the guilt that filled her at the thought. All she and Ingrid could do now, though, was do better. 

So, she entered your room, holding out a mug towards you. It was the one she’d picked out at Ikea, the one with the map and the sun. You knew for a fact that you’d used it this morning for your coffee, which meant Mapi must have pulled it out of the dishwasher and hand washed it herself, so she could bring it up to you. 

“I made you tea.” She said, taking a seat on the edge of your bed as you grabbed the mug from her. 

“Did you think caffeine would help me sleep?” You asked skeptically. 

She rolled her eyes. “No, idiota, it is sleepytime tea. There’s no caffeine.” 

You took a cautious sip, smiling a bit when you liked the taste. 

“My mami always made it for me when I couldn’t sleep.” Mapi said quietly. “Thought it might help tonight since you decided to become nocturnal yesterday.” 

Ingrid and Mapi really toed the line of parent vs. sister / guardian. It was often a sisterly relationship, you thought, with both of them. When you would tease each other, or argue about borrowing their clothes. Other times, it felt completely parent-y. When they’d make you go to bed early, or annoy you about studying for a test. 

This situation definitely fell into the latter category, and you found that you minded it less and less. 

“It’s good.” You told her, taking another sip. “And I didn’t decide to become nocturnal. It just kind of happened.”

Mapi hummed, looking around the room again. You just had the string lights above your bed on, the room lit also by the soft glow of the TV, as your favorite sitcom played. You’d lit a candle, and you were bundled up under the covers of your bed, clearly trying hard to be comfortable. Clearly trying very hard to sleep. 

You looked so tired, it made her heart ache, and she knew Ingrid felt the same. Ingrid, who Mapi was absolutely sure was hovering outside the door, not wanting to overwhelm you. You seemed… fragile. Like you were one step away from breaking at any given moment, and neither of them wanted that to happen before you were ready. Ingrid was just as worried about you, though, and she’d only agreed not to go in if Mapi promised to make you promise something. 

“Can you promise to wake us up tonight if you can’t sleep?” Mapi said finally, looking intently at you. 

With a sigh, you shrugged. “What good would that do?”

“You wouldn’t have to be alone.” Mapi said simply, watching as a flicker of emotion flashed across your face. You didn’t have to be alone anymore. Sometimes you forgot. “If you don’t promise, Ingrid is probably going to come in here every hour or something and check on you.” 

With a roll of your eyes, and a big sigh that you didn’t really mean, you nodded. “Fine.” 

“Good.” Mapi grinned. “Goodnight, mi sol. Te quiero.” 

“Goodnight.” You replied. “Tell Ingrid in the hall goodnight too.” 

The Spaniard chuckled. “I will. Sleep tight.”

With that, she leaned down, pressing a kiss onto your forehead, before she slipped out of the room. Hushed whispers came from the hall and you smiled to yourself, just a bit. Ingrid was such a weirdo sometimes. 

-------

It was around 2am when you broke. You’d tried everything you could think of to fall asleep, and nothing had worked. Worse, the lack of sleep was really getting to you and you were feeling ridiculously emotional. When you promised Mapi you’d wake them up if you couldn’t sleep again, you hadn’t meant it. Now, though, as you lay awake in your bed, tears threatening to fall, you really didn’t want to be alone. You weren’t sure how they could help, or even if you wanted help, but you knew that the indisputably healthy choice to make here would be to go to them. And you were trying to be better for yourself. 

Even as Camila’s words rattled around in your head, and you were half convinced you were an awful person, about to become even worse by waking Ingrid and Mapi up, you got up from your bed, and walked down the hall. 

There were a lot of notable moments in your time in Spain. A lot of them consisted of long, emotional talks with Ingrid and Mapi. And you knew that this was likely what you were headed for. It was naive to think you could hold everything that had happened in, keep it all to yourself. Especially when you’d kind of gotten used to sharing things with them, as horrifying as that thought was. You weren’t nervous, like usual, though. You just wanted them to tell you that everything she’d said was wrong. 

Scout followed you down the hall, slightly annoyed that you’d woken him up when you got up. He liked to sleep with some part of him touching you, so it was inevitable that when you woke, Scout did too. Your sister’s bedroom door was open, and you peeked in, half second guessing yourself. Both of them were asleep. It was a cool night, by Barcelona’s standards, which was obvious by Mapi’s sweatshirt and sweatpants that she’d worn to bed, as well as the extra blanket pulled over her. Ingrid, on the other hand, had kicked the comforter off of her, sleeping in just a tshirt and shorts. They were laying facing each other, their hands tangled together, like they’d fallen asleep talking. 

They were sleeping. They’d had a long week. They had training the following day. You shouldn’t wake them. They looked comfortable and peaceful, and you shouldn’t ruin that. You turned to go back to your room, biting your lip to stop yourself from crying at how utterly alone you suddenly felt. 

You were sure you hadn’t made any noise, but still, a whispered voice stopped you in your tracks. 

“Solstråle?” Ingrid asked quietly, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, go back to sleep.” You said, trying to keep your voice steady. It evidently didn’t work, because not a second later, Ingrid was flicking the lamp on, looking at you with a sympathetic expression on her face. Next to your sister, her girlfriend huffed in annoyance, still practically asleep, pulling the covers up and over her head. Ingrid rolled her eyes, before fixing her attention back on you.

“Come here.” Ingrid instructed, gesturing you closer to the bed. You walked over, feeling ridiculously like a small child waking their parents up after a bad dream. “You can’t sleep?”

“No.” You said miserably, roughly wiping away a stray tear. 

“How can I help? Do you want to talk?” She asked worriedly, brutally kicking Mapi in the shin as she did so, thinking that her girlfriend would be somewhat helpful in this situation, even if she was half asleep. The Spaniard grumbled unhappily, but emerged from under the covers just as you responded. 

“I don’t know, I just can’t stop thinking about her.” You whispered, truly not confident that anything could make you feel better in that moment. 

Mapi sat up, patting the middle of the bed invitingly. It was a king, and there was plenty of room, but you looked between her and Ingrid skeptically. 

“I’m not a child.” You said a bit harshly, thinking of Camila calling you immature. If only she could see you now. 

“We know. You just broke up with your girlfriend, though, and you haven’t slept in over a day. You are sad and exhausted, and it isn’t childish to need help.” Mapi said kindly, very dramatically scooching over so there was more room for you. 

You floundered for a minute, not quite sure what to do. You were an adult. An adult. And Ingrid and Mapi were not your parents. The appeal was there, though, to climb into the bed and tell them everything. To let yourself break when you knew they’d keep track of all the pieces, and put you back together. “Can I have more tea?” You blurted out, looking at Mapi. You weren’t really sure where that came from, but she nodded enthusiastically, rising from the bed, practically taking off for the kitchen in a sprint. 

“I’ll go make some!” 

You turned back to Ingrid, chewing aggressively on your lip. She rolled her eyes at you, teasingly, before she pointendly looked between you and the bed. 

“Get in the damn bed.” Ingrid sighed. It was easier, when she was telling you exactly what to do, because you didn’t have to worry about picking the wrong answer. You settled on the bed, right in the middle, and Ingrid threw an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to lean your head on her shoulder. 

“Ingrid?” You said after a minute, so quietly, your sister almost missed it. 

“Hmm?” 

“Do you think I’m immature?” You asked. 

Ingrid thought for a moment. “No. I think you’ve had to grow up really fast, and you’ve had to make a lot of big adjustments. You are more mature because of all of that. Why?”

You knew she would hate what you were going to say. “Camila said I was.” 

Ingrid grew tense next to you. “That’s because she was a 26 year old woman dating an 18 year old. What was she fucking expecting?” Ingrid said venomously. 

Mapi walked back into the room, taking care to be quiet, as it looked like you were deep in thought. She placed the mug of tea on her nightstand before she sat on the bed next to you, turning so she could see your face.

“Did she say anything else?” Ingrid asked cautiously. 

You opened your mouth to tell her that, no, Camila hadn’t said anything else. Instead, words flowed out of your mouth that you hadn’t decided to say, but you were unable to contain them. “She called me jealous and immature. She said the ‘mommy issues’ were really obvious, that I was insecure and clingy, and that I wasn’t worth it. That no one would want to put up with me.” 

You said it so forlornly, so resigned to what this awful woman had told you, Ingrid felt an anger she’d never experienced before rise within her. Neither she nor Mapi knew what to say right away, collecting their thoughts. You broke the silence again, though, after only a few seconds. 

“I think she’s right.” You said, your voice breaking clearly. You pressed your hands to your face, body shaking with silent sobs. 

“No, mi sol, no,” Mapi said softly, scooting closer to rest a hand on your knee. 

Ingrid took a breath, trying to swallow her anger, rubbing your arm with her hand comfortingly. “Solstråle, you are none of those things. That awful woman has no idea who you are, not really. You are not immature, you are 18. There is a huge difference. And you are so much more than what happened with mom. You are so many good things despite mom, sweetheart, and Camila doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She just wanted to hurt you, none of that is true.” Ingrid said insistently. 

“Why would she want to hurt me? I thought she liked me. I don’t understand.” You replied, still keeping your face hidden away in your hands. 

“Because she isn’t a good person, and she doesn’t deserve you. And you don’t understand because you are good, mi sol. So good.” 

“Then why do such horrible things keep happening?” You asked, voice raised slightly in frustration. You pulled your hands away from your face, looking between your sister and her girlfriend with a tearstained, bewildered face. “I’m trying to be good, I’m trying so hard, why is this so hard?”

Both girls felt their hearts break a little at your words. Ingrid wrapped both her arms around you, pulling you into her chest as you cried. “I know, Solstråle, it’s not fair. It’s going to get better. I promise you, it is.”

“I’m tired of everything being so hard.” You cried, shutting your eyes tightly as you spoke. You felt a soft hand brushing your hair away from your forehead, felt Ingrid leave a kiss on your forehead. “I’m tired.”

You meant it figuratively, and literally, and Mapi and Ingrid knew that very well. The best thing they could do for you now, would be to get you calm enough to sleep. It was happening without them trying very hard, honestly. You could barely keep your eyes open, even as soft sobs fell from your mouth. 

“It’s not going to be hard forever. I promise you, mi sol.” Mapi said, looking intently at you, though you didn’t look back at her. 

“I’m so tired.” You repeated, barely making sense. You were almost delirious with exhaustion, your emotional outburst only making it worse. 

“Sleep, solstråle. We are right here. Everything will feel better in the morning. You aren’t going to feel like this forever. Just relax, and sleep. We love you so much.” 

And even as you nodded, all the fight and worry of being too much for them flooding from your body, you wondered if they were right. If everything would feel better. 

If anyone would ever really want you. 

You drifted off ridiculously easily, curled up next to your sister, your brain going quiet for the first time in days. Once Ingrid was sure you were asleep, she turned to her girlfriend, who was tucking the blankets around you nice and tight. 

“I am going to kill that girl.” Ingrid murmured, feeling absurdly protective over you. 

“I will kill her first.” Mapi vowed. 

“She isn’t allowed to date again until she’s 50.” Ingrid said, a frown etched on her face. 

Mapi cracked a smile. “Good luck with that, mi amor.” 

Ingrid shook her head. “I can’t stand to see her like this.” 

The Spaniard turned serious again, nodding her agreement. “It’s gonna get better, Ingrid. It’s not going to be perfect, but she’s already better. She just needs time.” 

“I wish I could take it from her, so she could just be happy all the time.” Ingrid admitted, flicking the lamp off, her voice barely more than a whisper. 

“I do too.” Mapi whispered back. She and Ingrid looked at each other over your slumbering form, each seeing their exact feelings reflected in the other’s face, even with their features obscured by darkness. They just wanted things to be better for you. Easier and lighter and happier. They’d do anything, get you the moon if you wanted it. They didn’t consider if they were giving you all they could, that maybe you needed something else. They just promised themselves that they wouldn’t rest until you were happier, whatever it took. Whatever it took for you, because you were their sol, and nothing on earth was more important to them than your happiness. 

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my name is girlgenius1111 and i like to make my fictional kid suffer give me all your thoughts on this installment of sol ☀️

[chaethewriter]

You're dead to me [5]

dad!Jake Sully x human!daughter!reader

In which Jake Sully leaves his life on earth to settle down with the Omatikaya people as Toruk Makto. Having a family that consists of four kids with Neytiri, everything seems to work out just fine, but what if the past comes back for him? And his babygirl is right there in front of him?

warning: english isn't my first language, sad and vulnerable Jake, angsty, happy reader?

Word count: 3,2k

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"Daddy, will you be my daddy forever?", you babbled thoughtlessly as your cheek is pressed against his shoulder, looking up at him from your position. The two of you lay in his bed as you couldn't sleep without him. A chuckle left his lips, making his chest vibrate against your skin. You giggled at the feeling and wrapped your arms a little tighter around his head. His hand was on your back, rubbing it reassuringly making you feel sleepy. He playfully rubs his cheek against yours, knowing his stubbles will tickle you. Just like he expected, the loudest giggles left your lips at the feeling. "As long as you want me to. And even if you don't want me as your daddy anymore, I will always be." You frowned at that response, pulling away from him as you sit on his chest, putting your hands on both of his cheeks as you squeezed them together, "You'll be my daddy forever!!"

"Don't touch me, Sully!!" You couldn't help but scream and wail at the sight of him, now that he finally realized who you were to him. It was like all the emotions you tried to keep in decided to escape all that once, making you feel so overwhelmed to the point you started sobbing out of frustration. Jake got closer to you, now on his knees as he slid closer to you with a desperate expression written on his face. Even on his knees, he was taller than you, his figure looming over you while he moved closer to your panicked self. The sight of you frantically trying to get away from him made his eyes tear up, "my baby please-" he got closer to you to attempt to comfort you, but you screamed right in his face as he tried to, "I'M NOT YOUR BABY." You hugged yourself as you leaned against the wall, loud sobs leaving your lips in an attempt to calm down. Yet it doesn't seem to work. You couldn't stop your sobs, when you did they only got worse. "I need you to listen to me, please," Jake finally sat in front of you. He really wanted to have you in his arms, hugging you tightly against his chest, but he knew that if he did that, talking to you would only be harder as you would be focusing on pushing him away. So he sat there, waiting patiently as he watched you with a loving glance. The last time he saw you, you were a tiny and adorable girl on his lap. Now you were a warrior and on top of that one of the best of your class. He felt so much pride for what you had become and wished he could have watched you grow up. Hence this was the time to redeem himself, be a better dad for you, be there for you, and make up for all the lost time. For you, he would wait for ages if that meant for you to forgive him. "I don't want to see you, go away!" You balled your fists as you punched his chest, a huff leaving Jake's lips as you did so. Your punches were genuine as his chest actually started burning from the painful punches you left him. But he let you, he let you take your emotions out on him. Because even though it hurt, the way he hurt you for leaving most likely left an even bigger scar. "Why won't you go away?!" "Because I won't leave you alone again. Let's talk, I need to talk to you."

Talk? He wanted to talk? He wanted to talk after years of leaving your side?

You actually laughed at how stupid he sounded, eyes wide open as an unreadable expression was written on your face. Dry tears stained your cheeks and your hair was a mess because of your frantic movements. Your eyes were expressionless, yet at the same time, he could read how you felt. "There is nothing to talk about," you pushed your sharp nail into his chest, "between us. You left me, abandoned me. DO YOU KNOW HOW I FELT?!" He wanted to protest, beg you to listen. Hell, he would even submit in front of his entire clan if that meant that you would listen to him. He finally wrapped his arms around you, a sob leaving his lips as he felt your warmth. "I am so sorry for leaving you, I just wanted the best for us, for you. I wanted to make you happy, but I failed in doing so. I should have talked to you instead of leaving you so suddenly. I should have given you a choice as well. I love you, I'm so sorry." Jake was ranting desperately at this point. He probably didn't make any sense, but he still had to try with anything he could. Your eyes widen at the gesture, the feeling of his warmth so familiar yet so unknown. You knew you had to pull away, so you bathed in his warmth one more time before putting all your strength in your chest. You leaned forward and put your hands on his chest, gathering all your strength in your arms to push him off you in one go. The push actually knocked Jake out of his balance, and he fell on his back. He watched you with a tear-stained expression, shaking his head as he couldn't form a single word. You rushed to the door with your back faced towards him, grabbing your mask to pull it over your face. You then turn your head to the side, looking at him with a look that could kill. The look of a warrior with a job. "You are dead to me, Jake Sully. We are nothing but strangers. Treat me as your acquaintance, for we are nothing more than that." And you left. The same way he did all those years ago. For Jake, those words were the final straw. He was seated on his knees as his elbows were on the cold floor, hot tears rolling down his cheeks as loud sobs left his lips. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." He repeated the words a million times, hoping they would reach you as he crumbled apart. No strength left to continue as the pain and guilt succumbed to his entire mind, body, and soul. Both Max and Norm emerged from the back of the facility, as well as the other scientists who heard the commotion. They watched how Jake Sully crumbled apart like a broken wall after an earthquake. Both knew he deserved the harsh reality of his actions, yet they couldn't help but feel pity as they watched their friend in his most vulnerable state.

You walked through the Pandorean forests to clear your mind, your eyes bloodshot red from the amount of crying you did. You sniffed inside your mask as your hands were balled into fists. You were so angry. Angry at him for leaving, angry at yourself for acting this way, angry at the world for taking him away from you. You didn't know how far you walked, but for now you could care less. You needed some quiet, alone time. Away from all the conflicts and responsibilities. Mindlessly walking through the forest, you arrived at this beautiful scenery: a river running through the forest, decorated with blooming flowers and logs to sit on. The sight was beautiful, something you truly missed having on planet earth. Mother nature, without any form of buildings or technology that ruined the place. You took a seat on one of the logs, adjusting yourself as you put your feet cross-legged. You closed your eyes as you listened to your surroundings: the running river, your steady breathing. Your lips are pursed when you let the tears escape. You didn't try to stop them anymore, it would only hurt more if you did so. You let them silently roll down your cheeks as you bathed in the sun. As you were focused on your hearing, you heard something different in the order. Leaves rustling through the wind. Your eyebrows raise as you stopped your sobs, keeping quiet to await the same sound. Yet it never came while the wind was still blowing. You steadily move your hand towards your hip to take your hunter's knife out of the holder. In one swift move, you turn your body around, leaning one knee on the log as your other leg was on the mossy ground, knife in front of you in a defensive position while the other hand was sheathed on the handle of your katana. You raised your eyebrows when you came face to face with four Na'vi kids, one of them being Neteyam Sully. Your knife was directly pointing against the Na'vi walking in front of the group, who had his arms in the air in defense. "Mawey, mawey." Neteyam stepped closer to you as he put his hand on your arm, lowering the knife. You sighed in relief at the sighting of a familiar face. If it was a Palulukan you would have accepted defeat. "What are you doing here?" He asked you again, stepping in front of the three other Na'vi as he took a seat next to you. "I'm just trying to clear my head, you know." You sat back on the log comfortably as you closed your eyes yet again.

"Are you our sister?"

"Lo'ak!!"

Your eyes widen at the question, watching the four kids as they all had different expressions written on their faces. "What? That's why we came looking for her right? Don't act like you all didn't come with me for that." The Na'vi named Lo'ak said as a matter of fact, taking a seat on the mossy ground as he watched you with curiosity. "I mean I came because adventure! Hii I'm Tuk!" This little adorable girl came up to you and you couldn't help but boom at her, "Hii Tuk I'm (Y/N), aren't you a pretty girl?" Tuk flushed as a response, "thank you!! This is my sister Kiri and my brother Lo'ak. You already know Neteyam!" You smiled at her innocence, seeing yourself in her as she started rambling about whatever. Neteyam pulled Tuk closer to him as he put her on his lap, still weary being in the presence of a human, being a momma's boy and all. Kiri took a seat next to Lo'ak who was still staring at you, "You still didn't answer my question." He earned a slap from Kiri as a response, her eyes rolling before she turned to look at you with a reassuring smile, "I'm so sorry about him. You don't have to tell you if you don't want to." You watched the four siblings, your four siblings, with a pursed smile. They deserved to know the truth, but were you the one to tell them? "We already know, if you are our father's adopted daughter, about your childhood." Your eyebrows raised in surprise at Neteyam's words, "did he tell you?" This time Lo'ak was the one to respond, "we may have overheard dad talking to mom about it, about you." That meant he talked about your parents as well. You didn't know how to feel about this situation. Should you tell them? They didn't deserve to not know about their sibling if they wanted to see you as one. They deserved the truth as you both had the same father. So you replied, "yes, yes I am. I'm (Y/N) (L/N) Sully, adopted by Jake Sully at birth."

Their eyes widen in surprise. Tuk tried to jump up from excitement, but Neteyam held her tightly against his chest, "so you're my older sister?" His eyes twinkled, even though he is trying to hide the fact that he was feeling kind of happy about having an older sister, not needing to share the responsibilities alone. If you wanted to acknowledge them as your siblings that is. You smiled at the way his ears perked up and nodded your head, "do you need some younger brother babying now that you know you aren't the oldest anymore?" You said it in a teasing tone, but you actually meant most of it. As the older sibling, he must have a lot of responsibilities with the way he is told to call his own dad 'sir'. Neteyam's cheeks flush as he let out an annoyed huff, still shielding you from Tuk if you were to try anything funny. "This is actually so cool! We have a human sister!" Lo'ak exclaimed and moved a little closer to you, "and we have the same alien hands!" You chuckled a bit at his silly behavior, he must be the odd one out of the family. "What is earth like?" Kiri asked suddenly, since her biological mother is a human and her adopted father used to be one as well. "Yes what's it like! Dad never speaks to his life on earth.. well we know now why but- ow!!" Kiri hissed at her younger brother, pinching him in the arm. Your eyes faltered at the mention of your dad and Neteyam seemed to notice this. He wanted to comfort you, yet was still weary of you. But you were his sister right? And come to protect Pandora from your own species right? He was in conflict with himself, but when he heard your silent sniff with his hearing, Neteyam immediately pulls your small body against his much larger one. You smiled at the warm and welcoming feeling. Now you didn't only have Seb and Raja as your family, but also your four siblings. You turned to Kiri and flashed her a small smile, "well, earth is so much more different than here. Nature is slowly disappearing as they ruin it all."

"They?" Lo'ak asked curiously and you nod at his question, "my species, humans. They destroy nature to build buildings, houses, companies you call it."

"What are companies?" This time Tuk asked a question, her eyes filled with curiosity as she learned something new from you. "Let me give you an example. So you hunt for food right? Say, you hunt a lot of that food all at once and you give it to people, but you want something in return. That's what companies do."

"But that's terrible, to kill so much all at once," Neteyam whispered under his breath. As a warrior, he had learned to appreciate nature, kill an animal respectfully, and thank it for feeding them. But this? Killing animals mercilessly? That goes against all of his norms and values. You nodded your head, "it's why so many animals go extinct on my planet. The humans are killing their mother," you took your hunter's knife and played with it while you continued your sentence, "but not everyone is so bad. I met wonderful people back on earth. People that fought against the cruel ways that destroy the planet." You looked up at Neteyam and Tuk, then Lo'ak and lastly Kiri, "I'm here to protect you all as well. As a warrior and a sister." Your hand carefully went to caress Neteyam's cheek, "worry no more baby bro, I'll be the one to keep you safe."

The five of you talked all day, they were such nice company. You mainly talked about yourselves, because most noticed how talking about Jake made your mood instantly drop. Most, because Lo'ak was as oblivious as ever. Neteyam wasn't usually one to disobey orders, so when he noticed how it was almost past eclipse, he shot up from his seat, "guys we gotta go, it's going to be dark soon and it's dangerous to be out around eclipse." He held Tuk's hand as he moved his gaze to you, "you should come to high camp with us. The lab is too far away and you need to be there tomorrow anyway." Your eyes shot up in surprise, "tomorrow?" You didn't know anything about tomorrow. Did you miss anything on the planning? Neteyam nodded at your question, "yes tomorrow, no one told you?" You shrugged in return, "I could have missed that part. The two other warriors I am with were busy today in different clans and I had to stay at lab, so I haven't spoken to them since." You explained to your younger brother. Both Raja and Seb had to go to two different clans. Being one of the best warriors, they had to watch over some important stuff for a while. You stayed at the lab, in case there were any emergencies. Kiri already called for her Ikran, a loud screech leaving her lips as she did so, "come on Tuk!" She called out to her youngest sibling. Kiri's Ikran lands swiftly on the mossy ground as it let out a screech. Your eyes widen in admiration, "wow... They're much bigger in real life." You only read about Ikran's in books and illustrations, but this was an insane experience for you. Tuk ran up to Kiri as the two of them got on her Ikran, Tuk sitting in front as she leaned against her sister's chest. Neteyam, as well as Lo'ak called for their Ikran, the same screech leaving their lips. "She's riding with me, Lo'ak. I don't want her getting in even more conflict with dad than she already is." Lo'ak sighed loudly, knowing that Neteyam was right, as he climbed onto his own Ikran. Your eyes sparkled as she ran up to your brother, "I'm sitting on your ikran?! Right now?!" He chuckled at your excitement, happy that he didn't see any tears anymore. The hint of sadness was still slightly displayed in his eyes and the way your cheeks were covered in dried-up tears, but he was happy that their presence made you feel a tad bit happier. He took you in his arms as he lifted you on his banshee, "shh, we are flying with three today." He whispered against his Ikran's head, patting her on her face before he got up the banshee with ease. "Okay hold on here and trust me, alright?" He held your hands as he showed you where to hold them. You smiled cheeky, never so ready for something before.

Jake's flight back to high camp was depressing. His banshee, bob, also felt the distress, guilt, and conflict because of the bond that kept them connected. The ride to high camp felt extremely long and draining, all his energy seemed to disappear. His eyes felt heavy as the tears couldn't stop flowing, the wind making it worse as it burned his eyes even further. After you ran out, Norm and Max tried to talk some sense into him. Yet he couldn't their words clearly. He seemed to be in a trance, unable to move as your words rang into his head.

You're dead to me, Jake Sully.

He shook his head to forget them. No, he wouldn't end it at this. Not like that.

Not again.

A/N: tysm for reading!! Reader is finally smiling thanks to the Sully kids hearteyes. Can't believe how I managed to write a total of 15k words so far, meanwhile I am struggling with the book I'm going to publish. Should probably focus on my book for a bit💀 but daddy issues Jake is also important. hope you enjoyed. <3

Taglist in the comments!! if you didn't get tagged it might be because you changed your username, your settings or it could be that I forgot to.

[sweetadonisbutbetter]

Good day to you, I adore your stories and it would be interesting to read fan fiction about the Hotel Hazbin Adam×Reader | woman| as Adam's third wife who is pregnant with his child, what will be his actions before birth and after, if it seems strange to you, then you can not write or not respond to my request, I will not be offended💗) Have a nice day/evening Sorry for my bad English, I'm Spanish;^

RAHHH THANK UOU SMM ☹️☹️ it’s not strange to me i would love to write this 😁😁 also yr english is perfect!!! i will write this as if they were in heaven, so it’s a little more shocking, and it will be a mix of a fic and headcanons

New Life, even after Death | Adam x AFAB!Pregnant!Reader

Relationship: Romantic Warnings: MENTIONS OF (PAST) ABUSE!! it is a brief mention and doesn't carry much weight but it is there regardless. Mentions of pregancy and birth, light NSFW, Adam being Adam

You needed to check if your eyes were seeing things correctly, or if you needed glasses. After all, there wasn’t any way that you were seeing two lines. You stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do. After a moment, you snapped out of it before hurriedly grabbing the other test that sat on the counter and using it.

Now you had 7 tests in front of you, all with two pink lines on the little screen. You were holding the last one, waiting with anticipation to see what it would say. However, you knew what it was going to say, the previous ones had the same response. You had to face the reality that you were pregnant.

You are pregnant.

You were wracking your brain as to how this could be possible. You were in the afterlife, there was no way you could be pregnant. Not that you weren't overjoyed, you were elated. In life, you had trouble conceiving, much to your disappointment. It seemed that your husband at the time was also disappointed, killing you after your nth attempt and nothing to show for it. In your final moment, you couldn't help but feel a bit relieved, thankful that you had never had children with that man, in fear that he would do the same to them. After passing with no biological children of your own, you had grown to accept that you wouldn't ever have any.

When you first entered heaven, you were uneasy with how many children's souls there were. However, with time, you grew to enjoy the company of them. Playing with them while on your way to places or when you had the time, before either you had to leave or they were called out too. It warmed your heart and helped heal that small part of you that mourned never having kids. It helped you strive to be better and to experience the joys of being a mother. It was also how you had met your current husband, Adam.

You have no idea how it happened; one moment one of the children was introducing you to the first man, next thing you know, you were walking down the aisle with him standing at the end. You weren't one to complain, he was so sweet and patient with you. He was the first one you told your past to, from your childhood to your trouble conceiving, to even your terrible first husband. He held you tight as you cried and recounted the last half of your life. In turn, he told you of his life on earth. His life was like being married twice, and raising his kids and ancestors. His favorite pastime was watching humanity, the small acts of kindness from one person to another.

Of course, he had his faults, he was human. He would mock and laugh when people did stupid things. When someone he saw as not worth his time, he was known to wave them off without much thought. He would get angry over the smallest of things, and throw small tantrums when he didn't go away. Ever clingy when there was another male, in fear of losing you much like he did both of Lilith and Eve. You could list all his faults and flaws, yes, however, you could also list his virtues. 

All in all, you loved your husband and knew that he loved you in return. It seemed that now, you both would have something to love just as much. You dragged yourself out of your thoughts as you looked down at the test, seeing that it had the results.

You stood in the bathroom that you shared with Adam, holding the final pregnancy test as it showed the same results; the same two pink lines that repeated over each test. Overwhelmed at the prospect of having a child now,  you fell to your knees as tears began to build up in your eyes. You were going to have a baby.

A baby. 

The thought became overwhelming and you sank into a full-on sob. There you were on your shared bathroom floor, crying like a baby as your wings were wrapped around you, doing your best to soothe yourself. Clutching the pregnancy test to your chest, you hunched over so that your stomach was touching your knees. You were so happy, so sad, so confused at the whole thing that once you finished crying, you just sat there for a while, staring at the wall. You were so out of it that you didn’t hear the knocking at the door or someone walking in. 

“Hey sorry to barge in but Adam is looking for yo-oh.” A voice snapped you out. You turn to the voice and see Lute, still fresh in her exterminator outfit. Once she gets a good look at your face, she tenses for a moment, before dropping her weapon and rushing to your side. “Hey- is..is everything alright? What happened?”

Unable to say anything, you pull the test away from your chest, showing Lute. She took a moment, looking at you weirdly before taking it. After a while, her eyes widened as she turned to you.

“How?” She questioned, to which you could only sob-laugh in response. She didn’t say anything, just looking at the test that was still in her hands. You both sat there on the floor for a while, before another voice rang out in the house. 

“Hey, sugar tits. I’m home.” Shuffling came from the front of the house as you and Lute shot up, looking at one another. Both of you scramble to your feet and leave the bathroom, grabbing all the numerous tests and taking the one from Lute. “Damn. Where the fuck is she? She normally runs to greet me.”

Lute picks up her weapon and leaves the bathroom first. She hesitates for a moment, looking back at you with a twinge of concern, to which you nod, assuring her to go ahead. 

“Go ahead. I just…need to gather my bearings first.” She nods and leaves. As she leaves, you hear Adam begin to question her. Now alone in the bathroom once more for a few moments, you do your best to make it look like you weren’t sobbing your eyes out and figure out how to tell him.

You can’t help but think of his reaction. Would he be happy? Upset? You couldn’t fathom the idea of him getting upset, recounting his stories of when he took care of his firstborn. The fondness that was not only in his tone but also in his face showed that he did enjoy being a father. However, it had been over a millennia since he took care of a baby. Would he even want kids? You shake the thought and take in a deep, albeit shaky, breath. Leaving the bathroom and going to the front of your home, there you saw Adam. He stood by the front door, his mask removed and looking entirely bored of the conversation he was currently having with Lute. His eyes lazily move across the room before they land on you, he seemingly brightens before ignoring Lute and running to you. He grabs you by your side, spinning you before pulling you into a kiss. 

Startled by his reaction at first, it took you a moment before you returned the kiss. Placing one arm is thrown over his shoulder while the other flies to his hair, gripping it.  You make sure to keep the test firm in your grasp and not drop any. Feeling him smirk into the kiss, he begins to nip at your lip, attempting to deepen the kiss. You hear Lute clear her throat, stopping both you and Adam from furthering the kiss. Adam smacks his teeth in annoyance, looking at Lute.

“What? Can’t you see I am greeting my beautiful wife?” He says, squeezing you a little closer to him. Lute rolls her eyes before looking at you at the hand that had 7 tests back to you. You don’t say anything but instead smile softly at her, assuring her she can leave.  She nods to you, taking her leave. With Lute gone, Adam smirks, before looking at you and snuggling his face into your neck. Giggling at the feeling of his stubble tickling your cheek, you pull him away by his hair. He grunts softly, the tug not too painful for him. You spend a moment looking at him, smiling at the look of your husband as you swear he has hearts in his eyes. You opened your mouth with the intent to greet him, however it seemed that your voice didn’t agree with what you wanted. 

“I’m pregnant.” 

Once again, it takes a moment before Adam responded.

“What?”

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

He passes out lol

He was not expecting that information after coming back from an extermination

Once he wakes up, you hand him the various tests, all showing that you are indeed pregnant

Very confused as to how you are pregnant like you both are dead? nothing should be working as it would

You both go to the seraphim and ask if they know what is going on

They don't lol

If anything, they are the MOST confused as to how this is happening

After the initial confusion, Adam is overjoyed to be a father again!

Literally tells everyone he talks to in any manner

"HEY FUCKFACE I GOT MY WIFE PREGNANT!" "Adam. That's the mailman." "HE NEEDS TO KNOW-" "Sweetie, no-"

In other words, word spreads fast.

Before you know it, all of heaven is literally congratulating you when you step out of your house

A lot of glaring at Adam, who just smiles and acts all innocent

Now that he knows, say bye-bye to independence.

Of course, he will give you space when you need it, but if you don't say anything he is most definitely hovering over you.

In your first trimester, he isn't as clingy, actually the most laid back throughout the entirety of your pregnancy.

Second and Third are his worst phases, never leaving your side at ALL- literally walked into the women's restroom after you (you promptly kicked him out, stating you just needed to piss)

When you start to show, he coos at your stomach, touches it, and sings rock songs to it.

Also will get you clothing that pronounces your pregnant belly

sure he would get you loose, more comfortable clothing too, but literally is so obsessed with your belly 

Compliments you all the time, rubs you from head to toe when you ask

Coaxes and reassures you that he loves you, even as your body changes 

Speaking of body changing: boobs

He will grow more obsessed with your boobs as they grow bigger from the milk

Will ask you numerous times throughout and post-pregnancy if he can drink from them 

Kinda won’t stop until you cave, he just wants to try it so bad. The last time he dealt with a pregnant woman, was Eve and at that time he didn’t even know it was an OPTION. so seriously heaven-bent on trying it

His other kids, the ones he had with Eve, are elated to have a new half-sibling. 

Because of this, when you throw a parent shower (You and Adam elected to be surprised for the gender), you gain a ton of stuff. Somehow got 3 strollers, a huge chunk of clothing for about the first 1.5 years of the baby's life, and a lot of toys. 

The seraphims even went and gave you a personal gift for you and you alone.

Even with all the preparation, when your water broke, Adam was NOT prepared in the slightest.

Panicked and forgot all the important stuff while you were hunched over, holding your tummy as you waited to be fully dilated. 

You had a private room to yourself to give birth, Adam by your side the whole time, a worried look on his face. He remembered when Eve gave birth, the pain and fear on her face mirrored that of yours.

However, in the end, everything was alright.

After squeezing the life out of Adam’s hand, most likely cutting off all circulation in it, you gave birth to a little girl.

Adam was beyond elated, loving his little girl so much even though she was covered in vernix, blood, and mucus.

Having mainly sons, anytime his daughters just existed in front of him, he couldn’t help but be elated at their existence. 

Couldn’t wait to hold his daughter and feel her tiny hand wrapped around his finger

Not that he wasn’t checking up on you the whole time, he was.

When the doctor and nurses who helped deliver his daughter whisked her away to clean her, his attention was solely on you

Murmuring against your skin, telling you how great you did, how lovely of a job you did, and overall praising you and making sure you were okay.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

“She’s okay?” You say, panting and entirely exhausted. He nodded and kissed your forehead. 

“She is perfectly fine. What about you mamas? How are you?” He asked, wiping the hair that clung to your sweaty forehead. You could only nod as you tried to catch your breath. He smiles, relieved that you are okay.

You both stay there for a while while waiting for the doctor to come back. While waiting, you can’t help but think of how surreal this all was. You were finally having your baby, after your whole living life of wanting one, praying, and getting nothing in return. But now? You were watching the door for the doctor or nurse to walk in at any moment with your little girl, as your husband held your hand and stroked your hair. 

Eventually, a nurse entered the room, with a small bundle of pink and purple. Adam stayed by your side as the nurse made his way to your side, handing your baby to you.

“She is perfectly healthy. Just wanting mom at the moment.” He says before leaving you, your daughter, and Adam. Holding her in your arms was a type of bliss you couldn’t help but tear up over. Here she was, your joy, the love of your life, your world, planet, and stars. Tears slip out as you kiss her forehead, the feeling of her wispy hair tickling your lips.

“She looks like you.” Adam softly says after a moment. You look at him and see he has the look of utter softness and love on his face. You smile in return, tears still running down your cheek.

“What? She just came out? I don’t think she looks like anyone just yet.” You say as Adam presses his hand against your cheek, wiping away some of your tears with his thumb. 

“I know. But if she is anything like you, I just know she is going to light up the whole afterlife.” 

You sob a little more, putting your hand over his and close your eyes. 

“How did I get so lucky?”

“I think I am the one that got lucky,” Adam says, causing you to open your eyes. He leans in to peck you on the lips, you lean in turn. After the kiss, you rest your foreheads against one another, relishing in the bliss of the moment. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

RAHH AND THATS IT!!! I HOPE U ENJOYED IT ANON AND ANYONE WHO READ THIS FAR-

i went into this not an adam lover, and i came out one as his no. 1 fan. i love writing characters i wouldn't normally. lets me think about them more than i normally do LOLL I wanted it end it off on the sweet note, so if there is more that was wanted i apologize but regardless, i loved loved lovedd writing this super soft and fluffy

i just checked my word count how is this almost 3k words what the hell

[sunnymoonxx]

red eyes, fangs and talons | miguel o'hara × fem!reader

summary: After another session with Miles, you're left with Miguel filled with anger and frustration. And only you know how to ease him up.

warnings; this is just pure filth, read at your own risk, degradation, unprotected p in v, oral (m receive), vulgar language, kinda voyeurism? if you close your eyes, praise, fangs, talons, talking about being "used," mentions of blood, bondage, angry sex

author's note: I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes. Also, the Spanish xd. I studied Spanish for a while, but it's no better than google translate, I tried my best xd.

m.list

"No puedo más, no puedo más," you heard a voice mumbling after the room cleared out, leaving only you, Jess, and Miguel. For the past two hours, you and Miguel have been trying to explain to the new recruit, Miles Morales, how the canons work and how they can not be changed. It obviously took a number in Miguel. He covered his face in his hands, back crouched, holding himself back to not break another innocent machine. You and Jess stood silently, glaring at each other, too scared to say anything. At moments like this, even Jess questioned her choices in life.

You decided to risk it and step forward towards Miguel, who still kept whispering something to himself. You were just a few steps behind him when he turned around, his eyes glowing red, facing you.

"Jess, don't take your eyes off Morales," he demanded, not taking his eyes off you. He towered over you, his hair a mess, eyes dark red, and fangs visible over his lips. He was animalistic. And it wasn't the first time you saw him like this. "Make sure he stays here."

"Copy that," Jess responded without hesitation. The next thing you hear is her motorcycle starting, leaving you alone with Miguel. Miguel's talons grew bigger, caused by uncontrollable anger and desire to destroy things. He ripped a machine in half, not even a few minutes ago, and even tho you've known him for years, you couldn't help but be a little scared. You stood there, not daring to say anything, not even knowing what to say, as Miguel moved towards you, scanning you with his vampire-looking eyes.

"You help him one more time," he started, his voice deep and steady, his accent more visible now. "You're out." The thought of being kicked out of the Spider Society made your heart skip a beat. This was all you had. You couldn't go back home. You had nothing there. But you knew Miguel or Jess wouldn't hesitate to send you back if it meant protecting the Multiverse. So you nodded without letting out a word. You understood, even tho you couldn't help but feel pity for him. For Miles. He's still just a kid. But if it meant the multiverse stayed safe, you would do anything to protect it. Even letting Miles' dad die.

"I understand," You kept your head low, not daring to look him in the eyes. You wanted to go and disappear into your room before you felt Miguel's hands grab your face, his talons touching your cheeks, lifting your head up.

"It's the right thing to do." He whispered, his voice a tad softer, but you could still hear the anger filling him. And you've been through this many times to know how this always ends. You didn't fight it. You actually enjoyed it, although you'd never admit it to yourself.

"Yeah, I know." You smiled at him, staring into his bloody eyes. His fangs pierced his lips, causing a drop of blood to drip down his chin. Without thinking, you lifted your hand to brush it off, Miguel carefully watching you. He didn't flinch or move. He let you caress his lips to wash away the blood on his full lips. You didn't even notice you were backed up against a table, Miguel's hand on your waist while the other still held your chin. You dropped your arms, fingers sliding down his torso, not breaking eye contact.

"I made a mistake, I know." You whispered, Miguel tilting his head, his talons carefully caressing your cheek and moving down to your neck. "I've made you angry." He nodded, approving of what you were saying, his eyes following the talons outlining the lines of your collarbones. His claws were so sharp. If he wasn't careful, he could rip your skin apart. And even though he was mad at you, at Lyla, and Miles at everyone, he didn't want to hurt you. There were always other ways to show you his anger and disappointment with you.

"I'm sorry for that, Miguel." You let out, his talons stopping where your heart would be. It was beating fast, blood rushing through your veins. He could feel it all. Hear your inconsistent breath. Feel you tremble beneath him. He could smell the heat between your legs.

"Está bien," his lips formed a little smile, you were sure you were imagining it. His hand moved to your chin again, grabbing you harder, forcing you to look at him. "Just don't obey my orders ever again. Is that clear?" He said out loud, making sure you heard him.

He grabbed your cheeks so hard you couldn't even open your mouth in response. But he knew you understood. And while you were focusing on his one hand grasping your cheeks, you gasped when you felt his other hand rip your suit in half, letting it fall to the floor. The number of torn suits of yours and the number of the new ones that Lyla has made for you, because of this reason. You lost count after seven.

You didn't wear anything under your suit, as it would ruin the lines of your figure, you were fully exposed to him now, his talons moving up and down your stomach. They were cold to the touch, making you hold your breath every time they touched your skin. But they still managed to make your panties wet with arousal. You loved it when he took you like this. Like you were his. Like you belonged to him. You exist just for him. You fucking loved it. Being taken from behind while pulling your hair. His fingers fucking your cunt because you wouldn't stop annoying him. You choking on his cock after he's had enough of your teasing. Being in the Spider Society had its pros and cons. This was one of the pros.

"Eres tan hermosa, arañita". he let out a breath, his talons circling your nipples. If he was so gentle with you, it made your walls clench around nothing. His hands stopped at your ribs, his eyes again scanning your face, head tilted. Like he was thinking about what he wanted to do. What he's gonna do with you tonight. It didn't take him a long time to figure out.

You watched as he placed his strong hands on your shoulders, slightly pushing down. You understood what he wanted. You kneeled in front of him, no questions asked. You've done this so many times, you knew his thoughts by memory. For a few seconds, he just stared at you, naked kneeling in front of him, looking at the massive bulge in his suit. Fuck, he almost came just by looking at you. So desperate for his cock.

You moved your hair out of your face, right before his suit opened, right at his crotch revealing his cock, already covered in precum. He was thick and big, spreading you every time he fucked you. It was a mix of pain and pleasure, making tears fall from your eyes, and orgasm take over your body. He never failed to satisfy you. Never failed to make you beg for more.

"You know what to do," he said, looking down at you, grasping your hair, pulling it slightly. You smiled to yourself, lifting your hands still on your knees and bringing them to his cock. As you grabbed him, your whole hand couldn't fit around him. Made you wetter than before. You decided to tease him a little bit, leaving just slight strokes, not fully touching him, your lips so close to him, he could feel your breath. You regretted it a few minutes after he lost his patience, pushing your head forward, his cock deep inside your mouth.

"Take it, you whore." His hands held your head in place while his hips thrust into your mouth. His cock in your mouth, leaving bruises, your eyes filling with tears. You loved being used like this. You loved being fucked like a slut. You enjoyed it when he called you derogatory names. Sometimes, he mixed it with praise. Fucking you hard, telling you how good of a slut you are for him. He could fuck you with his words without even touching you.

His hips started to move faster, his cock throbbing inside your mouth. He was close. And he was gonna cum on your tongue. Just how you liked it.

"Fuck," he growled, his hold on your head losing strength which confirmed he would finish in your mouth. "So good around my cock," he whispered to himself, fucking your mouth harder, making sure to leave bruises. To mark you as his.

"I'm-." Before he managed to finish the sentence, his cum started to fill your mouth, warming your tongue. He stayed there for a while, recovering before pulling out, breathing heavily. He watched you as you swallowed his load, licking your fingers after cleaning your lips. Fuck, you looked so good.

"You look so good when I fuck your mouth," he smiled at you, trying to push away the sweaty hair on your forehead. You looked so beautiful, kneeling in front of him, your tits out, your cheeks and eyes red, sweat dripping down your forehead. You were a mess already, and he had just begun.

"Stand up," he commanded. You had some trouble getting up after sitting for so long, Miguel noticed and helped you by lifting you up and sitting you down on the table in front of him. He was still so huge, your eyes facing his stomach. You both loved the size difference.

"I want you to be quiet," he said, his eye redder than before. "You're not gonna make a single sound, or I'll stop. Do you understand?" You nodded your head, understanding completely. You've already been through this. Many times, he left you all spread out in his bed because you couldn't keep quiet. Forcing you to deal with it on your own, but nothing ever felt good as his tongue or his cock.

"Good girl," he said, staring into your eyes, his talons digging into your thighs as he spreads me apart. Your cunt is so wet, the smell hits him in the nose. All he's done was fuck your throat and you were already soaking wet for him. He couldn't help but laugh to himself. He didn't break eye contact as his hand traveled down between your legs, making you bring your hand to your mouth to not make any noise as he touched your bare cunt. His fingers on your wet clit, gently moving up and down.

"No así, mi dulce." He clicked his tongue, shaking his head. It was too fast, you didn't have time to think as he turned you around fast, pushing you down, your tits touching the cold wood of the table. Ass up, and bend over. His favorite view. Just waiting to get fucked like a slut.

You should have known he wouldn't stop at this, as he also took your arms, forcing them apart and sticking them to the edge of the table with his web shooters. His feet kicked your legs, so they were more apart from each other.

"Joder, eres tan jodidamente hermosa." He whispered as he stepped back to take a better look at you. Bent down over the work table, legs apart, ass up, your tits pushed against the wood, and your arms tied up by his web shooters. So ready for him. Ready to get fucked in the ass by him. He loved the control he had over you. He cherished every second of it.

You felt his talons, going up and down your spine as you lay there, waiting for him to use you. He bent down to your ear, his fangs digging into your earlobe. "If you want me to stop, now is the time, sweetie," He whispered gently, awaiting your answer. You nodded your head.

"Good," he smiled, stepping back again as he took off his hologram suit, his brought shoulders and back visible to the world. You wish you could have seen him exposed, just like you, in the middle of an open office. Anyone could've walked in and seen you being fucked like a slut. But anyone with common sense knew not to bother Miguel now. So you were safe. And for Lyla? She's probably in here somewhere. But this was nothing she hadn't seen before.

Miguel's fingers brushed over your wet clit, testing you, if you make any noises. He was determined to break you tonight. When you stayed silent, he kneeled, attaching his fat tongue to you. That's when he heard a little whimper out of you. You could feel his cold fangs touching your lips, but you know he wouldn't use them like this. There were other places where he loved burying them inside of you. As your thoughts were occupied with his fangs, his tongue started to move faster, licking up and down your slit, his hands spreading your ass cheeks apart.

"Tastes so good," he growled against your cunt, sending shivers down your spine. His tongue and mouth were one of your favorite things about him. The way be devoured your cunt every single time. He could yell at you about how you're useless and only causing problems, but seconds later, he'd be on his knees, eating you out like he'd never eaten before. You could crumble on his tongue, and see stars and worlds just by the way he worked on your cunt.

You tried so hard to keep quiet as his tongue kept working on you, preparing you for his cock. His hands were still grabbing your ass you were sure he left a mark. He loved showing others you were his. That you loved being fucked and used by him.

You felt your orgasm approaching before you felt his tongue disappear and heard him get up, standing now behind you, staring at your cunt. The room was quiet, only his heavy breathing filling the silence. You weren't sure how you were gonna keep silent, and you were sure you were gonna fail.

"Tan bonito para mi," he smirked, grabbing his cock and stroking himself for a while before his tip touched your entrance. "No hagas un sonido." He said before slamming himself deep inside of you, spreading your cunt with his fat cock. You wanted to cry out, scream his name, but you didn't. Your walls surrounded him, his cock so deep inside of you, if you had free hands you could feel him by touching your lower belly.

"Mierda," you heard him whisper before he gently moved his hips back and slammed into you again. His thrusts slowly began to be harder and faster, making sure he didn't cause you any unnecessary pain. After he was sure and by your muffled moans, he started to pound into you like an animal holding your hips, his talons digging into your skin. His fat cock hitting all the spots in your cunt, your eyes rolling in the back of your head, making you see stars. You never wanted this moment to end. You kinda wished Miles Morales would stick around to piss off Miguel more often. You certainly liked the results of his anger.

"Miguel," you moaned, quickly regretting it and pressing your forehead against the table, hoping Miguel didn't hear it. You knew he did when he stopped his movements, his cock still deep inside of you. You felt him bend over, lips to your ears, fangs making an appearance again.

"¿Qué dijiste, querida?" he asked calmly, one hand on the table to stable himself and the other one caressing your back. You quickly shook your head, not daring to meet his gaze. You were so close, and he stopped. Fuck.

You wanted to apologize and beg him to continue, but he spoke first. "I'm not gonna stop." He whispered in your ear before slowly moving his lips down, his cold fangs touching your skin. "I'm gonna make it so much worse." His voice was calm, and you could hear him smirk in it. With his free hand, he ripped off the web shooters holding your arms before lifting you up and pressing you against his chest. He started to pound into you again, talons on your hips and his fangs piercing your skin. The overstimulation of it all made you cry out loud not holding your screams back anymore. You cried his name out before you knew it was gonna get even worse. His free hand moved down your belly to your clit, where he started to spread your lips with his fingers. Fuck.

You didn't know what to focus on first. His talons and fangs marking you as his, his fingers rubbing your clit, or his fat cock pounding into your cunt without mercy. You were tired, and your legs were giving up, but the pleasure taking over your body. You've never felt that ever before.

You were close, too close, and Miguel knew it. "Cum for me," he growled into your skin, taking out his fangs and sucking on the blood spilling from the wound. His fingers started to move faster in your clit, his cock not changing pace in fucking you. "Show me how much you love being my good little whore." He whispered into your ear and with the next thrust of his, you came hard on his cock, your walls almost crushing him. You wanted to fall down but Miguel's arms held you close to him, not stopping pounding into your already sensitive and overstimulated pussy. He was close himself, but you could feel another orgasm approaching as he kept fucking into you restlessly.

"Miguel, fuck." You moaned, his hand moving up to play with your bouncing tits. You could feel him coming closer, this time, same as you. With his last thrust, you came on his cock again and he followed you shortly after. His cum filling you up, marking you as his. You fell onto the table, trying to recover yourself, Miguel's cock still deep inside of you.

You felt his hands lean against your back as he himself tried to catch his breath. Both of you stayed like that for minutes before Miguel pulled out of you, turning you carefully against him and picking you up, bridal style. You didn't care where he was taking you, you were so fucked up you didn't pay attention to anything.

You realized he put you into a bath, filled with hot water that smelled like vanilla. Miguel followed you and sat behind you, pulling you on his lap.

"You did good," he whispered into your ear and started to wash your body from the mess you two made. "I'm proud of you," His lips met your cheek, and a smile spread across your face. You let him wash your sensitive body while you relaxed in his arms, slowly drifting to sleep.

[plmp0]

The Nerd

Summary: Jake moved to your school because of his parents work, and you couldn't help but think how a nerd like him would fuck so u made that ur challenge.

Warnings: Nerd!Jake, kinda mean Jake, kinda switch Jake, pervet!reader, kinda uncomfortable, reader is so pushy (whatever that means), public touching, manipulative!reader, hair pulling, spanking, rough!fucking, p in v, unprotected sex (please protect), squirting, fingering, i think that's it.

A/N: Again this was an old draft so sorry if the quality is not the best,i tried to edit some stuff but it's 3 am right now so idk what i was doing 💀, also there might be some typos sorry for that. And finally just note that english is not my first language but yeah enjoy ~~ (also i just realised how long this is)

Jake has been always the top of his class, most of his time is around his books, not having a single friend because for him that means wasting time. So it was quite surprising when his parents decided to move to a new house, and in the middle of the school semester, no less. He didn't like that at all.But when he arrived in his new home, Jake didn't feel so bad anymore. It was a really big house, almost as big as his old school, and with the biggest library he'd ever seen, even bigger than the town's. Not having to worry about leaving his friends was also one of the things that didn't let him have ones, they have to move a lot because of his dad's work so things weren't adding up anyways.

It was Jake's first day in this new school, spending the whole night studying to catch up to their pace and also to maintain his top student image, he went to the asigned classroom. As he expected, no one knew who he was, everyone looked at him weirdly and a boy with glasses even whispered to the person next to him that he "looked like a nerd".He sat down and waited for the class to start, the teacher arrived a few minutes later and greeted the students before calling the attention to the new student. "Everyone, please, give a warm welcome to our new student, Jake. Now, I don't want anyone disturbing his studies, if you do I will make sure the principal knows." the teacher said, giving a stern look at some boys in the back, one of them was the same one who had made fun of Jake's appearance.The boys in the back, as if sensing their teacher's glare, tried to look as innocent as possible. Some of the other kids were talking about the new student while the rest were too focused on their phones or books. Jake nontheless ignored and filtered any meaningless noise, focusing on the class instead. "Alright, now, open your books on page 249. Y/n, you can read until page 270, then we will move on to the next chapter." The teacher said, making Jake shift his attention to you.

You nodded, but Jake was sure you hadn't heard the teacher, as your eyes were glued to the phone, scrolling through something. You didn't even try to look like you were reading, and when the teacher noticed this she went over and took the phone away from you, Jake shaked his head unimpressed not liking that you made him waste a full 10 minutes. You tried to convince her to give it back, but the teacher, Mrs. Smith, didn't relent and kept it until the end of class. Jake tried to focus again on the class, but his mind was somewhere else, you not shutting up talking loud enough as if u were sitting next to him, he huffed turning around to face you and giving you a cold glare, making you stop and shiver, not saying anything else but finding interest on him, you've always liked nerds. He sighed, relieved, and continued to pay attention to the class, writing down everything he was supposed to and more. Once class ended, everyone left except you, Jake and Mrs. Smith, who wanted to speak to him about some important things, as well as talk to him about his grades and how he would fit into the class. You stood up and stretched, yawning before heading towards the teacher to get ur phone back, not caring much for what the two were discussing, "Oh, Mrs. Smith, do you happen to have my phone? You took it earlier and I just want to go to my next class." You said, trying to sound as polite as possible to avoid getting scolded, you didn't care that much but the principal had told you to behave.

"Oh, yes. Here you go. But next time please try not to use it during class, or else I'll have to take it away again, alright?" She handed you the phone, you quickly nodded and thanked her, turning on the phone and walking away rolling your eyes. "Oh, and before I forget, here are the things that are new to the semester. Jake, I'm sure you'll do great." She handed him a folder full of papers, which he took, thanked her and left. He went over the papers as he walked, not paying much attention to where he was going, but making sure to read every line, his eyes were so focused on the paper that he didn't even notice you. "Hey, watch out." But you didn't, instead, the two of you bumped into each other, dropping the papers and Jake huffed losing the spot he was reading. You fell, not being able to catch yourself because your hands were holding the phone, you scoffed annoyed. "What the fuck, watch where you're going." "Says the one who didn't watch their step, dumbass." Jake mumbled, picking the papers. "What was that?" You asked, not quite hearing him, and not happy about being called a dumbass.

Jake turned to face you, giving you a stern look while collecting his papers not wanting to drag this convo any longer. You were about to argue back when you noticed the papers he was collecting, and how much there was. You got curious, how could this nerd get so much extra credit on the first day? "Hey, let me see." You took the papers away from him, skimming through them. "Are you serious?" U exclaimed,"Hey, give it back. And watch your tone, it's very rude." Jake glared at you. "Why should I?" You smirked. "What are you gonna do about it? Tell on me? Go ahead." You said mockingly, Jake massaged his forehead annoyed and grabbed the papers, pulling them from you, making you stumble and drop the phone again, "Hey!" You yelled, looking at your phone. "Do you have any idea how expensive that was?!" "Then be more careful with it, maybe then it won't fall" Jake shrugged, fixing the papers and putting them in his backpack, you rolled your eyes and picked up your phone checking it and you huffed relieved seeing that it didn't break. U bit ur lips this new student is really getting into ur nerves, but you had a better way to deal with him. "Whatever, loser." You turned around and left, not wanting to get in trouble on the first day.

Jake chuckled a little bit as u left, "what a great first day" he mumbled with sarcasm in his tone, heading to his next class but he stopped mid-way, he was so focused on what had happened that he didn't realize how lost he was, not having any idea of where he had to go and now his late for class, great. He spent a long time looking for class that now he has arrived late, sighing relieved when he finds the door open and walks in. "Sorry for arriving late, sir. I'm the new student, Jake." "Don't worry about it. Go ahead and take a seat. You're in the back." the teacher said, and Jake nodded, walking towards the back and sitting down trying to ignore the fact that u were his seatmate as you were already sleeping or that's what he thought, the teacher didn't even stop to breath in the passing 30 minutes making everyone yawn well everyone appart from Jake, he was busy writing when he let a very loud gasp making everyone look at him questionably, he excused himself feeling embarrassed as he felt your hand  wondering in his thighs above his jeans, his mind was racing and he wasn't able to focus at all, he looked at you and noticed the smirk on your lips as u rested ur head on the table,

oh that was not good. The teacher didn't say anything and continued the lesson, but Jake couldn't focus anymore. He couldn't believe this, he never let anything shift his attention before neither was he touched this way by a girl in a fucking classroom. He shifted on his chair, trying to move away from you, but that only caused your hand to travel higher, making his face flush and you grin liking the reaction u got from him, ur grin got bigger when u felt his bulge on ur hand. Jake felt a chill go down his spine, he was not enjoying this at all, why would he? This was just distracting, and he wanted to stay focused that's what he tried to convince himself but the fact that he stopped getting away from you made you continue ur movements, you caressed his thigh through the fabric, and then moved on to his bulge, squeezing it gently and rubbing him.

He gasped and tensed up, closing his eyes and trying not to move. He bit his lips as the sensation was getting stronger, and soon his cock was rock hard, throbbing under your touch, Jake was so new to this feeling he was going crazy, you smirked as u felt his member twitch, you looked at him and could see the embarrassment in his face, u leaned on him and whispered quietly "You're enjoying this, aren't you? Naughty boy." you teased, licking his ear. Jake bit his lips and moved his head, trying to get away from you, he was so scared that someone is gonna see the both of u, and seconds later the entire class was staring at him wondering what's wrong when he hitted his knee on the table while trying to squirm. He didn't know what to do, this was kinda embarrassing but it feels so good, and he didn't want it to stop, he opened his mouth to ask what you were doing, but when he felt your hand squeeze him, he gasped and couldn't hold back a moan, causing him to cover his mouth. He was redder than a tomato, and he couldn't look at the teacher or the other students afraid to get caught, you continued, enjoying his reactions, and the fact that everyone was focused on their things. It was obvious that Jake wasn't getting away, and that was fine with you. He was hard and throbbing, and his precum had leaked, creating a small dark stain on his jeans. Jake bit his lip and tried to muffle his moans, but you didn't want him to almost punishing him for what he did previously, you squeezed him again, rubbing his length. "You're so hard, Jake. I didn't think you would like this. You're so naughty~" you whispered.

Jake whined and closed his eyes, shaking his head, not wanting to admit that neither to hear it now it was hard enough from his to muffle his sounds, but it was true, he did like this. And the fact that he was hard as a rock proved it if only he didn't have to be in a space full of people he'd acted differently. He was getting close you could feel it as he was breathing heavily  his eyes were tightly shut, his hips were moving with your hand and you thanked god that u were sitting at the end of the class or the teacher would have seen everything, you sped up your movements and that's when Jake lost it, his body tensed up and his hips buckled, he groaned as quietly as he could before releasing his load on his jeans, making a small wet spot. You grinned, stopping your movements and moving away from him. Jake opened his eyes and looked at his pants, noticing the stain, and realizing what just happened, he looked around, seeing everyone staring at him, the teacher was waiting for him to answer a question, and the rest were looking at his flushed form face confused. He gulped and cleared his throat, looking at the teacher, not knowing what the question was.

"Are you okay, Jake? Are you feeling sick?" The teacher asked. "N-no... Sorry, I'm okay..." Jake said. "I would like to believe you, but, I'll let it pass since it's your first day. U should focus or u wont catch up, understood?" , "Yes, sir..." Jake nodded. "Good. Now, can anyone tell me the answer to the question?" The teacher looked around, waiting for someone to answer. "Uh... Y/n." The teacher looked at you. "Yes, sir. 54." You said, knowing the answer and not caring enough about this class. "Correct. Thank you, Y/n. Now, let's move on." The teacher turned around and started writing on the board. Jake felt relieved that he got out of this situation without getting caught, but now he had to deal with the mess you made, his jeans were ruined and he turned to look at you, seeing the mischievous smile on your face. He knew you weren't gonna leave him alone. He sighed and looked away, trying not to think about it and focus on class. But he couldn't. For the rest of the class, Jake couldn't focus, and his thoughts kept going back to you, and what had happened. His cheeks were pink, and his dick was still hard, the cum stain on his jeans didn't go away, and every time he moved, he felt it rub against him.

Once the class ended, Jake gathered his things and left as fast as he could, not wanting to see anyone, or get more attention. He rushed out of the classroom and walked quickly, heading towards the bathroom. He needed to change and get out of this, it was too much for him, he got to the bathroom taking care of the mess and removing his jacket tacking it around his waist while getting his dresshirt out of his pants hoping that i'll hide something before getting out of the bathroom, he sighed trying to calm down as he felt a hand on his shoulder "Hey, nerd. Wait." It was you, smirking. Jake turned around, facing you, his face still a little flushed from earlier and his body tensed upon seeing you, "Y-yes?" Jake asked his words getting out more broken than he anticipated,

he cleared his throat waiting for you to speak, u scanned him the grin never leaving ur lips " looks like you took care of yourself already" u whined disapointed "too bad i wanted to help you" "Wdym?" he cleared his throat again fixing his hair as he felt some sweat forming at the end of his forehead "no need to do that" he mumbled looking at you giving him your puppy eyes, he shifted his eyes to look elsewhere just wanting to go home at this rate feeling tired already but there was no way u'd give up, you really wanted him to lose it so curious to see what he'd do. "But, Jake... You looked so cute when you were enjoying yourself..." You purred, putting a hand on his chest. "I wanted to make you feel good..." he furrowed his eyebrows not loving how you are adressing him "s-stop" his voice was breaking, he didn't know what was going on but he didn't like this. "Aww, come on, Jake... Just admit it... You liked it... And I'm sure you would love it if I continued..." You smiled, and moved your hand down, resting it on his lower stomach. "Stop, we are still in school!" He exclaimed, his voice slightly louder. "Oh, come on, Jake... There's no one here..." You grinned, pressing your palm against his crotch. Jake bit his lips, holding back a moan and his eyes widened when he felt your hand press against him.

His pants were too tight, and he was already half hard. You didn't know how or when but you felt ur back pressed on the wall Jake leaning to face you as his lips were inches away from your ear "I get that you want to be fucked soo badly but i have things to do" Jake whispered you moaned feeling him suck on your earlobe before he left leaving you hot and confused, a smirk formed at your lips licking them "ahhh m gonna have so much fun" u mumbled adjusting ur clothes and heading to meet one of your friends from the other class. After the incident with you, Jake avoided you as much as he could. But that didn't stop you from teasing him, and he always had an excuse not to interact with you, or anyone else, really. He focused on his studies more than the normal days trying to distract himself from you, he was starting to get really frasturated by all of your teasing. You on the other hand were getting annoyed, you had tried so many times to get close to him, or just talk to him, but he always had an excuse to brush you off, and he always seemed so busy. You knew he was trying to avoid you, and you were determined to make him give in taking it as a challenge at that point.

One day, during class, the teacher decided to choose randomly two people for next week's project and to ur luck Jake was paired up with you for the presentation and you couldn't be happier. He wasn't too happy about it that's what you noticed but he had no choice, and the teacher said the two of you would have to meet outside of class. That's when the fun began. Jake was sure that he was screwed. You had him trapped.You were gonna make him lose his control, and there was no way out of it. It was the day you r supposed to meet up for your project, Jake suggested going to a cafe nearby the school but you being your stubborn self insisted to meet up in ur house saying that it'd be better and calmer and blah blah blah, Jake couldn't help it but agree after his failed attempts. He was standing in front of your door inhaling deeply before knocking a few times, you were quick to open the door smiling at him and welcoming him in.

He was surprised when he saw ur outfit, your small shorts not leaving anything for imagination, ur blue crop top hugging ur breasts perfectly, he clicked his tongue rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly when you told him to sit in the living room and you went to get some water, coming back quickly and sitting next to him body stuck to his with the glass in ur hands. "So" Jake started wanting to start with the project and leave quickly "we should start, what's the theme?" He asked looking through his backpack and taking out a notebook and a pencil, u rolled ur eyes at his words "come on, Jakey, you know we don't have to do this right now." u said handing him the glass of water which he accepted "it's not healthy for you to be always studying, let's take a break." "We need to get this done, Y/n." He said sternly, sipping the water. "We can't waste time. So, what's the theme?" "The theme is... The importance of a good education." You smiled, remembering the topic that you picked out. "Seriously?" Jake said mockingly knowing very well how u r always sleeping during classes or just on your phone. "Yeah, seriously." You smiled, taking the glass from his hands and setting it on the table. "Don't worry. I'm not stupid." "I know." He said, and before you could say anything else, he pulled out his phone. "Let's start, shall we?"

"Sure, Jake." You smiled, and started explaining your ideas for the project, and the two of you started working. Jake didn't like that you kept distracting him flashing ur cleavage every now and then but he couldn't say anything cause you were being very professional. He didn't think it was possible, but you were doing a really good job. Maybe this wasn't so bad. You noticed his reaction and you couldn't help but smirk a little, you knew he was gonna lose it and soon. The two of you worked for a couple hours, and by the time it was over, Jake was exhausted. He was glad you were smart enough to not screw this up, but he was still suspicious. You had been nothing but nice the whole time, and it was a bit out of ordinary.You stretched and smiled. "That was a good session, huh?" "Yeah. I'm glad we were able to get some work done." Jake said, packing his stuff. "Yeah. Me too." You smiled, and stood up. "I'm gonna get some snacks, I'll be right back." Jake nodded and waited for you. You came back a few minutes later, carrying a tray of fruit, cookies, and drinks. You set the tray on the coffee table and sat next to him, Jake had some cookies eyes not leaving his phone for a couple of minutes before speaking "Alright, I think we should stop here." , "Oh, why?" You asked, tilting your head. "Because we're finished." Jake said, closing his notebook. "We're not done yet." You pouted. "I wanna hang out a bit." "Hang out? With me?" Jake asked raising one of his eyebrows, "Why not?" You shrugged. "Well, we have nothing in common." Jake said, standing up. "Besides, I have a lot of work to do. And so do you." "Aw, come on, Jakey." You pouted, wrapping your arms around his torso and pulling him down onto the couch. "We have plenty of time." "No, we don't." Jake said removing ur hands from his body, but you were faster as u landed one of them on his crotch making him gasp loudly.

"W-what are you doing?", "What's wrong, Jake? It's just a hand." You smiled, squeezing his crotch. Jake exhaled his eyes fierceful as he looked u down tongue clicking, one of his hands sliding his hair up "you are really a slut ha" "Only for you, Jakey~" You purred, stroking his growing erection. Jake groaned and bit his lip. "Stop i don't think you'll be able to handle what's coming!" Jake warned, his tone more stern. "I'll take my chances." You grinned, continuing rubbing him over his pants, Jake growled and grabbed your arm, pulling it away and pinning it to the couch. "You really don't get it, do you? This is the only chance you're gonna get." He growled, tightening his grip on your arm. You winced a little at the pain and bit your lip. "Sorry. I'll behave. Promise just give it to me" you said pouting a bit. "Woah" Jake chuckled lowly, "someone is being a needy slut today." He said having enough from restraining himself his frustration takkng over him, and you moaned loving his choice of words,"Please, Jake. Please. I'm sorry. I'll do whatever you want, anything please" You begged. "Anything? (He paused for a second) but again it's not a surprise after seeing how hard you tried to get to my dick" He hummed licking ur lips slowly. "Yes. Anything. Just fuck me." You begged, and Jake leaned down, kissing you roughly. You moaned, enjoying the kiss, and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He continued kissing you hungrily, his hands exploring your body.

He broke the kiss, and pulled back, staring at you, his eyes moved to your boobs who were almost exposed because of this position, the blue complementing your skin and making him lick his lips constantly, he has never really went with a girl above kissing and touching here and there however he watched enough content to know what to do, his hand groped one of ur breast squeezing it roughly his nails digging on the fabric as u moaned loudly. "You're so beautiful, Y/n." Jake whispered, his soft tone contradicting his rough touches, "T-thank you." You said, blushing a little , he smiled seeing how calm you are now that you are getting what u want, he pulled the strap of ur crop top down exposing your breast the sight making him gulp as he massaged the other one he neglected earlier, his other hand moving down to cup your pussy through your shorts making you moan and squirm. He groaned as he felt your wetness through the fabric "Fuck, you're so wet, Y/n." Jake grinned, "Soaking." "J-Jake..." You moaned, arching your back, grinding against his hand. "Shh, isn't that what you wanted? So shut up and enjoy it"he smirked, leaning to deliver kisses on ur neck. He kept rubbing your pussy through ur shorts and you couldn't help but whine wanting to feel him against ur bare skin. He pulled his hand away and looked at you. "You want more, Y/n?" He asked, smirking. You nodded, your chest heaving and your eyes wide. "Then take them off." Jake said. "Your shorts." You gulped, and stood up, pushing your shorts down, and taking them off, tossing them aside.

Jake sat on the couch manspreading a bit and patting his lap, u followed his order and sat on his lap grinding your pussy against his hard member while he cupped ur ass, his hands running over the soft skin, he leaned down and placed his lips on your nipple sucking on it making u throw your head back moaning and grinding ur pussy harder against him. You grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it aside and running your hands over his chest. Jake groaned and moved his hands down, hooking his thumbs on the waistband of your panties, pulling them down, you raised your hips, helping him as he pulled them down, tossing them away. His hand went back to cup your pussy, and he moaned feeling the wetness. "God, you're soaked." Jake groaned, running two of his fingers on ur slit, spreading the juices and making you moan loudly, Jake grinned as u were already a mess, and he has just started. "So fucking wet. Just for me." Jake hummed, his fingers playing with your clit, the pleasure making your body jerk. Jake felt his hands act on themselves, his index finger teasing ur entrance making u buckle ur hips, "I'm not gonna do anything if u don't behave, y/n" he growled,

his fingers going to rub your clit roughly, his eyes were focused on ur reaction and you didn't have to try to put up an act, your body was shaking eyes rolling back. You nodded and closed your eyes, biting your lip and trying to stay still, even though all you wanted was to grind your pussy on his fingers, he lifted his free hand spanking ur ass hard making u gasp, your body jerked a bit and Jake rubbed the spot he had spanked, "Good girl." He purred his finger went to tease ur hole once again. He slowly pushed his finger inside, his cock twitching at the feeling of your tight walls. He has only seen a pussy on videos and nothing could compare to the feeling of the real thing, he pushed his finger deeper and moved it in and out slowly, feeling you clench around him. He moved his finger a bit deeper, looking at ur expressions mouth gaped eyes long gone and he grinned. adding another digit and moving it at the same pace, he lifted u a little curling his finger inside you, hitting a sweet spot. "Feels good, huh?" Jake asked and you nodded, moaning loudly, and he spanked you again. "Words." He growled. You gasped, and let a small cry. "Y-yes! It feels so good, Jake!" Jake grinned, and kept moving his finger, hitting that same spot every time. Your body jerked and he noticed how close you were, "you were acting up just a few days ago and look at you now, where did that attitude go ha?" He chuckled when u didn't answer him his fingers reaching deeper making u spasm on his lap,

"Come on, cum for me. Let go." He groaned, his voice husky, and a few seconds later, your pussy clenched around his finger, and you let out a loud moan as you came, squirting all of your juices on his pants, Jake groaned feeling the warmness of ur juices land on his cock, ur body still shaking as he was still moving his fingers inside you, he pulled out groaning at ur attempt to keep him in by squeezing him tightly, his cock throbbing inside his pants as he licked his fingers clean tasting u making you squirm and he gave them to u, you licked them and moaned at the taste, his free hand moved down cupping ur ass before he spanked u again, you moaned loudly and looked at him, "You want me to fuck you, right?" He asked, and you nodded eagerly. "Please." You begged. "You've been such a good girl for me so far, so I'll give it to you." He kissed ur jaw talking over ur skin "but i'll have to punish you for what you did these passing days" he mumbled making u shiver a bit, his hand squeezed ur ass roughly. "Now get up, i'm gonna bend you over the table and fuck your slutty little pussy" he said patting ur core and you whined, but did as he told u, getting up and bending over the table, spreading your legs for him, he groaned at ur eagerness and quickly unbuttoned his pants pulling them down along with his underwear, his cock finally springing free, you looked behind you and bit your lip seeing his length, "wow, you're big." You mumbled. He smirked and leaned over, his body pressing against yours, his lips near your ear. "I'm gonna make sure to make you scream, and never think about going around whoring for nerds again" He whispered, making you whimper, his hands grabbed your ass, giving it a few squeezes, he rubbed his cock on your pussy, making you moan and squirm. "So impatient. Behave." He growled slapping ur inner thighs and steadying u in place

"Sorry" u mumbled trying to stop yourself, Jake smirked and rubbed the tip of his cock against ur clit, making you whine and bite your lip, you felt like you were gonna explode, the teasing was driving you crazy. His hips rolled and his tip poked ur entrance, you moaned and arched your back, trying to take his length inside, he spanked you again making you yelp and he held you down, "i'm the one in charge here, not you" he growled and you nodded, letting out a breathy moan, he pulled back and slapped his cock against your clit a couple times making u shake, the sensation driving u mad and before u could complain his length entered u, the tip slowly entering u and stretching your tight walls making you cry out, "fuck you're tight." Jake groaned, feeling the warmth and wetness of your pussy wrapped around him, the pleasure was almost unbearable, his hand went to massage your ass and squeeze it a few times, his other hand gripping your hip tightly, nails digging into the skin, his eyes were focused on where his cock met your pussy and how he disappeared inside of you. He pushed himself deeper and pulled out slowly, the drag of his length inside you was incredible, you moaned and gripped the edge of the table, your body trembling as he kept thrusting into you, his cock filling you completely. Jake's hand traveled up, his palm resting between your shoulder blades and applying pressure, making your cheek rest against the table. He pulled out and slammed back into you, his balls slapping against you and you let out a loud moan, the feeling was overwhelming.

You felt his fingers grab your hair, pulling you up and his lips were on yours in a matter of seconds, his tongue invading your mouth, the kiss was sloppy yet intense, his thrusts were getting faster, his tongue moving in and out of your mouth, tasting every inch of it. You broke the kiss and let a loud moan, feeling him brush at ur spot, his hand was gripping the hair at the back of your head, his nails digging into the skin and he was panting, his breath fanning your cheek, he closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of ur walls around him, Jake was scared that he'd become addicted to ur pussy the thought of getting out of you was already not clicking with him, his other hand grabbed your hip and he started slamming into you harder, his cock hitting that same spot again, making you scream in pleasure. He groaned, feeling his orgasm building up, his movements became sloppy and his hips stuttered "Fuck, look at u now, taking my cock so well" Jake said, his words coming out in a mix of moans and groans, he let out a low groan and threw his head back, his hips snapping into you a couple more times and he buried himself deep inside of you, cumming and filling your pussy, you moaned at the feeling of his cum filling you and painting your walls white, your legs trembled and you let out a loud moan as your body jerked, reaching your orgasm and squirting all over his cock, your walls tightening around him, milking him. "Fuck" Jake groaned, his hands leaving your hair and hips, his palms resting on the table as he leaned forward, panting heavily, his chest pressed against your back. He was sweating his skin hot. 

Jake's cock slipped out of you and he let a small groan. His eyes focused on your pussy and how your juices were mixed with his cum, and the sight alone made him hard again, he grabbed your legs and spread them, making you whine. His other hand stroked his cock and he guided his tip to your pussy, pushing his cock inside making you whine "J-Jake, what are you doing? I'm sensitive." You mumbled, your voice tired. "We're not done yet, baby. I need to teach you a lesson." Jake growled, his hands going to rest on your hips squeezing them, he started thrusting into you roughly, not giving you time to adjust and his hips snapped into you, his balls slapping against your clit, you were a mess, moaning and whimpering, begging for him to stop. Jake growled and bent down, his face next to yours. "I warned you before but u didn't listen. So shut up and take it." He growled, and his hand went to slap your ass, his fingers digging into the flesh. Your body was trembling and the feeling of his cock pounding into you was amazing, it felt so good!

tbh u didn't imagine him to go this hard on you and ohh god how you love it, no one has ever fucked you this good. The sound of his skin slapping against yours and the lewd sounds of his cock entering you filled the room you were a mess, ur hair sticking on ur face, juices mixed with his cum dripping from your pussy messing up the table. Jake groaned, his breathing uneven and his hips stuttered. He was close again, and so were you. "Cum for me, Y/n." Jake groaned, his thrusts were getting faster, he was losing his rhythm eyes closed biting his lower lip until he couldn't hold it anymore, his hand reached ur clit rubbing it fastly making u whimper "OmG" u rolled ur eyes ur release hitting u like a truck and with a couple of hard thrusts he followed u, cumming inside of you, his cum mixing with the previous one, his hips kept rolling, riding out his high, the feeling was intense, his cock twitched and he pulled out, collapsing on the couch, panting heavily. "Holy shit." You mumbled, trying to catch your breath. Jake nodded, running a hand through his hair.

The two of you were quiet for a few minutes, then Jake got up, helping u getting up too and bringing u to the bathroom. "I'll clean the table." Jake said, leaving and coming back with some wet wipes, he cleaned the table looking at u wearing a robe while scanning his body "u okay?" He asked suddenly feeling nervous not knowing what to do now, u smiled and nodded, "yeah, thanks" u mumbled, he nodded back and looked away, he was wearing his boxers now looking at his pants that are full of ur juices, he sighed and grabbed them cleaning them with the wet wipes and getting dressed, u stared at him confused, "what are u doing?" You asked. "Leaving." Jake said, buttoning his shirt.

"It's getting l-late" his voice stuttered when he felt your hand helping him with his shirt, he heard his phone ringing and went to get it seeing his mom's name on the screen, "hi" his voice was low as he answered, and u could hear his mother's voice asking where is he,  he told her that he was busy with his homework and forgot to call, he was glad that his parents are never home so he wouldn't have to explain anything, he bid goodbye to his mom and hang up. "Is everything ok?" You asked, and Jake nodded. "I gotta go." Jake said, gathering his stuff. "I'll see you tomorrow." You said, and Jake nodded, giving you a small smile and leaving, making you finally drop on the floor as u couldn't feel ur legs anymore but u smiled nonetheless u had so much fun, and this will not be the last time for sure.

Woah i couldn't edit this whole thing so m gonna comeback to it after having some sleep, also this was supposed to be a virgin Jake fanfic but yeah i got carried away and forgot about that sorry

[ferraridepartment]

hello here’s a lil request for a smau! lando setting a blind date for oscar and it turns out she’s a really famous actress that oscar loves! feel free to add all the details you want <3

❝ the (great) blind date ❞

pairing: oscar piastri × fem!actress!reader

summary: everybody is tired of oscar simping over this famous actress, so lando decides to resolve this problem.

warnings: awful title fic, ofc the 2019 rookies will make a special participation in this, english is not my first language, fluff.

nora's radio: thank you so much for requesting, love! this is such a funny and cute idea, i hope you like it! 💕

face claim: elle fanning

daily click | help palestine

ᥫ᭡ instagram

f1gossip

liked by user, oscarpiastri, and others

f1gossip In the new interview for Vanity Fair, Y/N Y/LN, star of the hulu series "The Great" and disney movie "Maleficent", was asked what she enjoys doing her free time: "I'm always trying to keep up with the books that I am currently reading at the moment and I prioritize a lot my self-care moments. Depending on the weekends, I am always watching Formula 1. It's my favorite sport for years now, and I never get tired of it."

It's good to remember that Oscar already mentioned how he enjoys Y/N's work, and Logan exposed last year that the actress is Oscar's celebrity crush. 👀

view comments

user oh i just KNOW that oscar is now giggling and kicking his feet

user i couldn't even pay attention to the interview because i was too mesmerized by her beauty. she's truly a disney princess!

user her and oscar would be such a good couple. i am WAITING for the day that she's going to a grand prix 😭

user wait, i thought she already went for one!

user not really! y/n said a while ago that she only went for an f1 race once with her dad, but she was still a kid! she probably never went anymore because of her job, and the schedule doesn't allow her

user not oscar liking a post from a gossip page lol

ᥫ᭡ lando's phone

ᥫ᭡ oscar's phone

ᥫ᭡ twitter

ᥫ᭡ instagram

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others

👤 oscarpiastri

yourusername if he gives you a sanrio bouquet, he's the one. 🤍

view comments

user i waited five years, white man did in ONE WEEK.

user the hard launch???? the cinnamon roll bouquet???!!!!

user this is the best day of my life.

landonorris @/alex_albon i am waiting for my nintendo switch

alex_albon when i said that?????

landonorris i have screenshots of our conversations.

georgerussell63 i still can't believe it you actually did it

landonorris what can i say, I'm a good matchmaker 🤷‍♂️

user LMAO so it was really lando who made this happen

user i need to know how lando conviced y/n to go in a date with oscar

yourusername a paddock pass...

oscarpiastri tell lando that you don't need anymore ;)

yourusername i think he already knows, love 😆

landonorris i am already regretting this

user OMG THEY ANSWERED

user this interaction is everything

oscarpiastri that's how you get the girl 🧡

yourusername love youuu 🫶

user the taylor reference, the girlfriend effect is already happening, and i love that

[jinnie-ret]

THE TUTOR

poly!stray kids x reader

genre: fluff, angst

content warnings: toxic relationship (not with SKZ)

word count: 5.4k

summary: becoming lee felix's tutor was quite possibly the best decision she could have made. toxic exes, university assignments and a whole lot of confusing feelings, how does skz fit into this equation?

collab w/ @astraykidforsure

I've absolutely loved working on this with my gorgeous talented pookie! I think it's my fav fic written ever so to have collabed on this was so fun to share our ideas together and give you this!!!

Here is our other fic here which you can find on her page! It's the cutest fluffiest Christmas fic ever so I hope you enjoy :)))

MAIN MASTERLIST

Handing in the penultimate assignment of the year, Y/N couldn't hide her sigh of relief when she gave her paper to her professor. She had given everything to this piece of work, sleepless nights, even forgetting to eat sometimes too, as she was so caught up in her studies. It happened that just as she was handing in this assignment, she was given her results of the previous one she had done. Feeling as if it had been ages ago since she had completed it, Y/N was pleasantly surprised to see the number on the document her professor handed to her.

"85, that's another 'first', top grades as always, Miss Park," Mr Jung, Y/N's English Literature professor grinned at her proudly as he handed her paper back to her.

"Thanks Mr Jung!" Y/N grinned happily, always one to be energetic and bubbly no matter what kind of hurdle was in her way.

"Now, I look forward to reading this one here... but I have one request," Mr Jung pushed up his glasses as he gently placed down her recently finished assignment onto his stack of others he would be due to read.

"Oh, what is it?" Y/N pursed her lips curiously, hands behind her back as she wondered what Mr Jung was about to tell her. She was very much so looking forwards to a small break so hopefully whatever he said next wouldn't be something that would consume a lot of her time.

"One of the students in our class, Lee Felix, I assume you know him? He's falling behind, and I thought you'd be the perfect student to help him. So what do you say?" Mr Jung proposed the idea to Y/N of becoming Felix's tutor.

This wasn't exactly what she expected. Lee Felix? Everyone on campus knew him and the friend group he was a part of. You couldn't not know him. He stuck out especially to Y/N, not just because of the fact he was on the same course as her, but because of his sweet personality and how nicely he treated everyone around him. She aimed to be like him.

What Y/N didn't already realise, was that she was a similar kind of person, and people recognised her kindness. Although she mainly kept to herself, always had her nose in a book or her head in the clouds, she greeted everyone kindly. And for that, she was already loved so much.

It couldn't hurt to help out, could it? Sure, she wanted a break, but this should be things she already knew. And it wasn't like she would be forced to spend her time with anyone horrible. The only thing remotely intimidating was the fact that she'd be presumably meeting one of the most popular friend groups on campus.

But, perhaps it would be nice to properly talk to them, instead of just greeting them like her friendly self normally did.

"- Miss Park?" Mr Jung was still staring at her expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"Sure, I'll do it," Y/N grinned, adjusting her bag on her shoulders before waving her professor goodbye.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was 4:30pm. Right on the dot.

Y/N had arrived perfectly on time, oddly nervous for her first tutor session with Felix. Maybe it was because she hadn't spoken to him properly, apart from the emails back and forth on when to arrange a mutually good time to meet. And that took a while in itself, because Felix didn't seem to check his emails a lot. It would be much easier once she had his phone number to text, and it seemed much less formal too.

Not only that, but it would be nice to see a different name pop up on her screen other than her persistent ex, Johnny, who couldn't seem to forget about her.

Knock, knock, knock.

Y/N stood awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other before the door opened.

"Y/N right? Come in, come in, sorry about the mess!" Felix cheerfully greeted her with a pre warning of the state of his dorm, which she quickly realised he shared with all of the other guys.

Was it messy? Yes, but the typical mess you'd expect for a boys' dorm. It was homely though. Domestic.

On a coffee table, there was a computer science textbook lying open beside a laptop covered in cat stickers, neatly kept to one side, almost to avoid the art materials spread precariously across the furniture. There was barely any room for the puppy patterned mug of coffee to sit, most likely brewed from the expensive coffee machine in the kitchen, Y/N had noticed. The TV screen was on, showing the title screen of a game she didn't quite recognise, she wasn't much of a gamer herself. As she glanced to where she could take off her coat in the lobby area, there was a gym bag, a backpack with headphones peeking out of the top, and some keys scattered to the side, charmingly accompanied by a koala keyring and a kangaroo one too.

"Don't worry about the mess, it's homely," Y/N shrugged, taking her coat off and feeling a bit surprised when Felix wordlessly took it out of her hands and hung it up for her.

"That's the excuse Hannie always uses..." Felix chuckles, before his eyes widen, "oh yeah! My boyf- roommates are all home right now around here somewhere, so don't be shocked if you see one of them walking about. We can study in my room if you want? It'll be much quieter," he stumbled on his words.

"Sure, whatever is more comfier for you, Felix," Y/N grinned as he nodded once more and they set up things in his room at his desk. Felix brought out his laptop to takes notes as Y/N brought out her notebook. Clearly they had different ways of studying, but that didn't seem to deter her, things like that didn't mean much when she was here to help.

"So, how much have you gotten done so far?" Y/N popped the lid off of her pen, both of them giggling as it flew onto the floor somewhere.

"Don't hate me if I say none of it?" Felix replied sheepishly as he crouched down to retrieve the piece of stationary and sat back down in his seat.

"I can't hate you, silly! I've only just met you!" Y/N shook her head with a gummy smile, not knowing she was melting Felix's heart as she did so.

And so, they began, Y/N guiding Felix to the best references and praising him for his ideas that he thought of for the assignment. She made sure she steered him in the right direction and he seemed to be on the right path already.

Knock, knock.

The door opened to reveal two handsome men, both with sharp features, one with longer black hair and the other with a bold purple style.

"Here, have some brain power," the guy with purple hair put the plate down in front of the two, Y/N already smiling at the colourful fruit presented in front of them.

"That's Minho by the way, and that's Hyunjin," Felix pointed out to Y/N, before munching on a piece of honeydew melon. She waved at them with an enthusiastic 'hi' as they made themselves at home in Felix's room.

Hyunjin stretched across the bed as Minho perched against the desk on Felix's side.

"I think I'll be eating most of this then if it's for brain power," Felix grabbed a few more pieces of fruit, shoving it into his mouth contentedly at the sweet taste.

"You better save some of it for Y/N! She's the guest! Plus, I had to spend time with Minho in the kitchen, with a knife... My life was on the line for these snacks!" Hyunjin professed dramatically, sat up on the bed now as he moved his hands around whilst explaining.

Y/N couldn't help but giggle along with Felix, Hyunjin noticing this as he smiled at how comfortable she was around them already.

"Just wait, you'll have to stay for dinner one time, and then you'll see!" Hyunjin widened his eyes comically, as Y/N nodded along in agreement.

"You like to cook, Y/N?" Minho asked curiously, showing interest in the girl who came round to tutor his boyfriend.

"I'm not the best at cooking actually... Most times I just eat ramen for dinner or order fried chicken," she pinched her lip habitually and covered her awkward grin, yet everyone else could still see it from the way her eyes crinkled.

"Ah! That's not good, I'll have to feed you, make sure you get something nutritional in that belly," Minho patted her head as he tutted.

"That's our Minho, he always cooks for us, he's such a doting boyfriend-" Felix nuzzled his head against Minho's stomach before freezing in place. He may have hidden their secret before but this time he couldn't help himself.

"Y/N, look, we-" Hyunjin stumbled over his words as he stood up now, next to Felix and Minho as he took in the girl's shocked expression.

"It's ok, it's ok, I won't judge," she quickly held her hands up to try and calm them.

"It's easier said then done, not exactly conventional having 8 guys date each other," Minho sighed, stroking Felix's hair soothingly to show he didn't blame the younger.

"Please don't tell anyone," Felix couldn't even look her in the eyes. He felt like he had already blown his chances of getting good grades. Like, what a bombshell to drop on your tutor. Oh yeah, by the way, I have 8, boyfriends but keep it a secret, please.

"Guys, please, it's ok, really. I wouldn't dare tell anyone. That's not my information to share, I'd rather you act natural around me then hide that side to yourselves, ok?" Y/N spoke carefully, taking in all of their expressions to make sure her message was heard.

"You've got a good tutor here, Lixie," Hyunjin sighs in relief, a small smile painting his face.

"I do," he nodded in agreement, relieved that she was someone he could not only learn from, but trust too.

Y/N would come to see a lot of sweet interactions between the boys, and also get to know them a lot more too. This was only the start.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Over the next few weeks, Y/N had really gotten to know the other guys quite well, and when she had reassured the rest of them in person that their secret was safe with her, the arms she was welcomed with were open even more.

"Hi love, come in!" Chan softly smiled at her as she entered the dorms, her books already clutched in her arms.

"You're in a cheery mood today, Channie, get some sleep for once?" Y/N laughed and teased the older boy, looking away mischievously when he pulled a face that said 'why did I let her and Seungmin interact?'.

"Go on go, go find Felix and help him study," he fake sighed and shooed her away, pushing her in the direction of Felix's room with a laugh, but wincing when her phone hit the floor. "Oh sorry!" he was quick to pick it up, the phone lighting up with yet another text message, making him frown.

"Oh it's fine, don't worry," Y/N went to grab it back quickly and hesitantly, Chan let her.

"Who's Johnny?" he chewed his lip as he asked the question.

"He's no one," Y/N shrugged him off, making sure she had all her books ready and was about to enter Felix's room, hand reaching for the handle when Chan realised he couldn't let this go so soon.

The rest of the boys and himself had grown to like Y/N a lot in such a short space of time. Her caring nature had stolen a piece of each of their hearts and they found themselves exuding that same care towards her.

"Love, it doesn't look like nothing, that was a whole lot of texts," Chan warily rested a hand on her shoulder.

Y/N sighed before moving over to their sofa, Chan following right behind her.

"It's really nothing... I'm used to it," she shrugged, biting on the inside of her cheek.

"So if it's nothing why are we taking a seat to talk about this, hmm?" Chan calmly spoke to her, lightly pinching her cheek to get her to stop.

"I don't know if I'm overreacting or not... sometimes I think I am but other times, here just look," Y/N shakily hands over her phone to Chan, and he grasped her hand in his as he read the more recent ones that appeared in her notifications.

"These messages are horrible, Y/N, why don't you just block him?" Chan was horrified at the threatening messages he read, nostrils flaring more and more at each word that his eyes scanned.

"He always finds a way to message me from a new number... See?" Y/N reluctantly released her hand from Chan's as she unlocked her phone and showed her messages, previous conversations all with the same tone to them, but from different numbers. "You can always tell it's him messaging because he always leaves a space between the full stop and the word. And then he doesn't use slang in his texts apart from 'ur'," she further explains to Chan, who was in disbelief at how she spoke so causally of what was happening to her. Yet, he could tell there were some feelings she was internalising too.

"You're too smart for your own good, love," Chan rubbed her shoulder, proud of her analysing skills that she recognised it was her ex. "You really don't deserve this," he murmured, leaning his head on top of hers.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was nice, to feel that love and appreciation again, without having any labels attached. But then it had Y/N thinking, what really was this thing between her and the boys?

"Aren't you going to take a break too, Y/Nnie? Felix has been playing this game for at least twenty minutes now!" Changbin leant his head back on the sofa arm as he watched the girl diligently flicking through her notes whilst Felix went to take a 'short' break and play on his PC.

"Ah, it's fine haha, I want to make sure I've got some stuff ready for when Felix is done," Y/N brushed off Changbin's concerns and pushed back a stray piece of hair as she read through the notes she had made during the afternoon.

"Nope, no, not having it, I'll get Seungmin to make you some of his fresh coffee and then you will sit here, right next to me," Changbin sat up, patting a space on the sofa next to him, "and drink it."

"But Changbin-" Y/N sighed, covering her face and leaning back into the chair at the table, already hearing the whirring of the coffee machine in the kitchen, meaning Seungmin was around and overheard the small harmless bickering.

"Nope, now come, sit here," Changbin didn't budge, from not just his seat but his efforts to getting Y/N to take a break too.

She groaned as she complied and sat next to the muscly guy, who hummed in content when he felt the dip of the sofa next to him.

Seungmin entered the lounge, bringing over a mug of coffee for Y/N, dainty sunflowers painted all over it.

"Wow this mug is so cute!" Y/N grinned as she held it up slightly to admire it.

"Good. It's your mug," Seungmin nodded as he sat at the end of the sofa, a mug of coffee made for himself as he placed it done on the table.

"My mug? I don't even live here, Seungmin," Y/N tried to laugh it off, but she couldn't help but feel butterflies at the warmth she received from these guys. The way that they always made sure she felt at home in their home.

"You might as well, haha, with the amount of times Felix invites you over to study when half the time he's all distracted," Seungmin pushed up his glasses, turning to look at Y/N.

"Well I thought that's why he wanted me over more... Because we didn't get enough done in the first place?" Y/N pursed her lips in thought, before blowing on the coffee to try and cool it down even though it had been freshly brewed and was still very hot.

"Interesting take... I'm with Seungmin on this one though," Changbin raised an eyebrow at Y/N's reasoning before cooing at Seungmin, reaching over to pat him on the knee.

"Ew, hyung," Seungmin wrinkled his nose, bringing his legs further up on the sofa and curling up.

"Hey! Don't reject me in front of Y/N... i-it's embarrassing! I'm a desirable man!" Changbin complained loudly, throwing his arms up in the air before folding them and sinking into the sofa.

Y/N couldn't help but agree, nodding to herself as she bit her lip. Changbin was a handsome man. All of them were. They were all lucky to have each other, not only for their looks but their personalities too.

"I saw that look, you're not so sly, sunflower," Seungmin whispered in Y/N's ear as he patted her head before wrapping his arms around Changbin to quieten the pouting man, cheekily biting his neck in the process.

"Yah! Kim Seungmin!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A rough day was rare for Y/N, for she always strived to push any stress away and focus on what she was meant to be doing. But with another influx of texts from Johnny, he wasn't making her day so easy. Even more so because he was waiting outside of her class.

"Never answer my texts huh? I just want you to talk to me, that's all I want!" Johnny grabbed Y/N's wrist and took her to the side of the empty hallway.

Not only was the poor girl shocked at him grabbing her harshly, she also wondered how he knew where her class was, they didn't even take the same course, let alone similar ones for him to be in the same building as her.

"You don't deserve that, Johnny, not after what you put me through," Y/N pulled her arm away from him and redirected herself outside, hoping that was all this confrontation would be.

Oh how wrong she was. Walking outside where there was more students around should have made Y/N feel safer, even with Johnny on her tail, but with the gossipy nature of the university, it made things worse.

"Don't you want me?" Johnny growled, his voice too loud for her liking as people around her pulled out their phones and started filming as he grabbed her wrist tightly once again.

"No! I don't! I hate you!" Y/N said through gritted teeth, trying to regain ownership of her own limb.

This seemed to frustrate Johnny even further, his intentions becoming more and more clear.

He spat at her, right in her face.

"People like you don't deserve to even be with me, I'm doing you a favour!" he tried to pull her along with him.

Y/N felt helpless. Why wasn't anyone helping her? They were too busy hiding behind their phone screens.

"No, I'm doing myself a favour and getting away from you!" Y/N took matters into her own hands and despite the fast beat of her heart she stomped on his foot and stormed away quickly, wiping her tears as she did so.

It wasn't long until the video started floating around other students. Chan and Changbin, who were in one of the studios courtesy of the uni's musical facilities, received a text from Minho.

Minho: pls tell me this isn't y/n...

[vid.attchmnt]

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Is that my favourite person in the world?!" Han hugged Y/N as soon as she walked through the door.

Han had admired Y/N as soon as he met her, always wanting to cuddle her because he thought she was so sweet and 'too pure for this world'.

And oh, did Y/N need that hug, especially after the day she had.

"Hey, she was mine first!" Felix wrapped her up into a big hug of his own as he pushed Han away, not too hard though.

Mine?

That would be a thought for another time...

Pushing the boys away and letting them bicker playfully between themselves, she sat down next to Jeongin on the sofa, who was absorbed in whatever video game it was that he was playing. She often had comfortable silences when she was in the space of the younger. But she likes that. They could appreciate each other's presences without needing to say much. Without needing to say anything.

Y/N sighed and rubbed her head as she read through her notes once more, wondering what part of the words that were jumbling right in front of her very eyes, would be more useful to Felix today.

"You should play one day," Jeongin spoke up quietly, as to not disturb her focus and for him to maintain his own as he fiddled with the joysticks.

"Ah I don't know a lot about gaming, plus staring at the screen would give me an even worse headache right now I think," Y/N sank deeper into the sofa in defeat, rubbing her eyes as she tossed her notes aside.

"Let me get you some painkillers," Jeongin immediately paused his game, standing up and walking into the kitchen.

"No it's fine-" Y/N tried to stop him.

"You take them with water?" Jeongin ignored her attempts as he called out from the other room.

"Yes," Y/N replied quietly but he still seemed to have heard her.

Jeongin returned into the lounge with two painkillers and a some water in a glass prettily painted with sunflowers on it. It wouldn't be hard to guess who bought her that.

"Cute glass," Y/N fondly smiled, as she sipped the water slowly and swallowed the painkillers.

Jeongin loved how she was still able to smile despite the pain she was in. He admired her for that.

"A certain puppy picked that one out, convinced Minho and Jinnie that it was necessary," Jeongin nodded at her, taking his seat but not returning to his game straight away.

"Well I love it, I'll tell him thank you later if I see him," Y/N placed down the glass and instead of relaxing into the sofa once more, she found herself in a pair of arms instead.

"I'm sure you will," Han gently hugged her gently this time, noticing her demeanour was quieter than usual and that she had taken some tablets.

"You sure you want to study today, Y/N?" Felix rubbed her knee soothingly, not wanting to pressure her.

"Yeah, I'm sure, maybe we can take it slow today?" Y/N makes a compromise, not wanting to let down the sunshine on front of her.

"Of course, of course, love, that sounds like a better idea, just tell me if you want to take a break, yeah? Don't want you to be feeling in pain just because you're trying to help me," Felix kisses the top of her head, making her blush.

What was going on with her heart? Maybe she was just still feeling shaken up from earlier on.

"Y/N, why didn't you tell us something happened between you and Johnny?" Han suddenly tensed up, and Y/N could feel it. She didn't dare look at the video Han was playing on his phone.

In that moment, Seungmin and Hyunjin entered the dorm, frowns on their faces.

"Ah Seungmin! There you are, thanks for getting me this glass, you really didn't have to," Y/N tried to change the subject, hoping their frowns would disappear but it didn't work.

"Nope, don't do that sunflower," Seungmin shook his head, taking off his shoes and putting his slippers on.

"Angel, why didn't you say anything, hmm?" Hyunjin walked over in front of the sofa, hands on his hips.

"No wonder you weren't feeling great," Jeongin's eyes widened in realisation after watching the video over Han's shoulder, handing Y/N the glass of water once more to encourage her to take some sips.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Y/N didn't even believe herself as she spoke.

"Y/Nnie, there's a video going around of you and Johnny in the square at uni," Hyunjin crouched down in front of her.

"Wait? I haven't seen that video, I've only seen the one of hyungs cornering him," Seungmin spoke up, sharing a confused look at Hyunjin. He was sure they had been speaking about the same thing earlier, yet with both of the information they had seen from different videos, they must have been able to fill in the gaps.

"W-wait they what?" Y/N stuttered as she looked back and forth between the boys.

In that moment, Seungmin held up a video playing on his phone, showing the three eldest of the group cornering Johnny against a wall, holding him by the collar of his shirt as they shouted at him.

Y/N couldn't believe her eyes.

"It's ok," Felix's deep voice soothed her as he wrapped an arm around her and hugged her closer to his chest.

"Let's just have a relaxing evening yeah? Take your mind off of it," Seungmin instructed, tucking Y/N's notes away into her bag.

"Felix is that ok with-"

"Don't even worry love, it's fine," Felix rubbed her shoulder once more, Han holding her hand as he leant his head on her shoulder.

They all began to relax, watching a Disney film. Y/N cuddled up between the September twins, and Jeongin reluctantly allowing his overly affectionate hyungs, Seungmin and Hyunjin, to coddle and cuddle him.

Around halfway through the film, the front door unlocked and 3 sets of footsteps marched inside.

"Is she here? Is she ok?!"

"I swear she was meant to have a tutor session with Lixie today but they're not in his room..."

"Wait, her shoes are here."

Chan, Minho and Changbin all sighed in relief, almost synchronised, as they saw the object of their concern cuddled up to their other boyfriends.

"Y/Nnie, love, come here a sec," Chan whispered into her ear, gesturing her to come to the side to talk to all 3 of them.

She felt nervous just standing there as their eyes scanned her to make sure she was physically ok.

"Guys, you didn't have to do that..." Y/N shook her head, hands retreating into the sleeves of a jumper Han let her borrow because he insisted a cosy jumper is a cosy heart and it would make her feel better.

He wasn't wrong.

"Oh but we did, it wasn't right what he did to you Y/N, and I don't know what he's done to you in the past but..." Changbin trailed off, fists clenched at the thought of Johnny.

"He'll never hurt you again, ok?" Minho promised, hand caressing her cheek gently.

"And if he does anything again tell one of us right away, we got you," Chan rubbed her shoulder, a pout on his face reflecting Y/N's as her eyes welled up with tears.

"Thanks guys," Y/N sniffled, hugging each of them.

Hyunjin, who was snooping on the conversation with eager ears, called out across to them, "yah! Don't make Angel cry, we just calmed her down!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Y/N was confused. She wasn't as sure anymore, or, at least not as much as before, that is. Sure, she knew about their relationship, of course. Though she wasn't apart of it. They seemed to act so nice and loving towards her. Always helping her out, Felix giving her extra attention and affection when he thought she needed it. The boys always bring her food whenever they got food themselves. They'd ruffle her hair and give her soft smiles. Back hugs and forehead kisses. It's so much more than that. They just treat her so well. She's supposed to keep their secret, but, then again, she's not dating any of them.

Despite everything, does that mean they're messing with her? Are they doing this to mess with her feelings? She sure hoped that wasn't the case. She's been having so much doubt lately with this situation she seemed to have gotten herself stuck in. But, she didn't want to be seen as if she was trying to interrupt or ruin their relationship by confessing. Seriously, one girl and eight guys? She wasn't so sure that it was realistic, whether she wanted it to be or not.

She just wanted this guilt that she constantly felt to go away. She didn't want to stress over this anymore or worry. She hated these nerves that she constantly felt, continuously. She wanted this to be over, even if she never ended up dating them.

Knock, knock, knock.

"We've missed you," Jeongin was shocked to see her as he opened the front door, blurting out the first words that came to mind as he welcomed her inside.

It had been 5 days since they saw her. But it was 5 days too long.

Y/N stood at the edge of the lounge not knowing what to say as the boys all turned and gasped as they saw her.

"What's been going on, Y/Nnie?" Han slowly asked.

"Talk to us love..." Felix begged, he just wanted to know why she created some distance between them all.

"Don't call me that when you don't mean... When you don't want..." Y/N ran a stressed hand through her hair, not knowing how to articulate herself because her emotions were all over the place.

"Come sit down ang-, Y/N, it's ok, talk to us," Hyunjin went to call jer ny his usual nickname, but sensing her discomfort, he chose not to this time. And it felt weird.

"I'm so confused right now..." Y/N began, perching on the edge of the armchair where Changbin was sat.

"You asked me to keep your relationship secret and of course I'd never tell anyone but, I feel like, gosh no I can't say it it'll sound so stupid," Y/N scolded herself, Chan patting her back lightly as he stood next to her.

"Nothing you say is stupid, you're very clever, sunflower," Seungmin shook his head, not liking the sight of the girl he was so fond of, looking so distressed.

"What am I to you guys? L-like am I just Felix's tutor to you, or just even a friend or-"

"You're much more to us then those things, and I know you know that by now," Minho leant forward in his seat on the sofa.

"We like you, a lot, Y/N," Felix said with his hand on his chest.

"W-why couldn't you just tell me that? I-i've been going out of my mind," Y/N ducked her head down, covering her face with her hands.

"We didn't want to pressure you after that situation with your ex..." Changbin grasped her hand from next to her.

"Oh, sorry, yeah I get that..." Y/N sighed.

"Come on, where's that smile gone?" Hyunjin cooed, tickling her sides and successfully making her laugh.

"We really like you Y/N, and we were hoping you'd want to be a part of our relationship too," Chan crouched down in front of her.

"You sure?" Y/N was wary. This wasn't a trick right?

"Never been more sure of anything in our lives," he was quick to squash her worries, kissing her on the cheek.

"Then, yes, I'd love to be with you all," Y/N grinned that gorgeous smile that they loved so much.

It was the best decision she could have made agreeing to be Felix's tutor. It brought so many people into her life that she already held dearly to her heart, people she knew she'd come to love even more in her life. The little things they did for her with more care than anyone else had ever paid her attention to. They gave her the love she deserved, the love that she'd never lose.

taglist: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami

[soolh1k]

Not sure if your requests are open but could you do stray kids forgetting a date they had with (r) ? And maybe the aftermath of it? Thank you smm if you plan on doing this, I just really enjoy the way you right your angst.

- 🦴anon

🕸 umm... life 🕸

synopsis. when skz forgetting the date they had w you and the aftermath

pairing. bf!skz x reader genre. angst and fluff

a/n. Thank you so much for the request!!! I hope you like it and i am so glad that you like the way I write angst, means a lot to me ♡︎ love you 🦴 anon !! 🩷 english is not my first language so apologies for any misspellings or grammar. let me know if you'd like to be tagged !! YEAH AND SORRY FOR NOT POSTING!! I'LL BE BACK WITH MORE POSTS THESE DAYS LOVE UUU

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ BANGCHAN

Chris was very focused on working on a new track. He wanted it to be perfect, and since he's someone who always finds flaws in things, he couldn't leave his studio until the new melody was flawless. Therefore, he wasn't even paying attention to his phone; he had it on silent just to finish that damn song. He didn't stop until he got frustrated because things weren't going as he wanted. So, he took a break to clear his mind and relax a bit. He picked up his phone and saw a ton of messages from you. It wasn't strange since you used to tell him everything, which he found adorable. However, he was surprised when he saw the messages you had sent him. Had he forgotten your date? No, that couldn't be true. He had it marked on his calendar, and he was genuinely looking forward to that day. He wanted to spend time with you; he missed you so much. He had messed up and needed to fix this urgently. He hadn't done it on purpose; he felt so guilty.

He quickly arrived at the apartment where you lived. He saw the food in the kitchen, and his heart sank. He barely realized how you must have felt sitting there alone in the middle of the night, waiting for him, excited to be only disappointed by him. The worst part was when he heard sobs coming from your room. You were crying because of him, because of his stupidity, and because of being a bad boyfriend.

He hurried to your room, making as little noise as possible. You were already lying in your bed, covered with your blanket up to your head. As soon as you felt your bed sink, something in you hoped it was Chris. When you heard his voice, you felt relieved but angry at the same time. You uncovered yourself and looked at your boyfriend with teary eyes, an action that hurt him even more. He didn't give you time to confront him; he already had you wrapped in his arms. All you could do was cry while holding him tightly.

"You're a fool, Chris," you said between sobs.

"I know, sweetheart, forgive me," he said, stroking your hair while still hugging you.

"I was so focused on my work that I never heard my phone, but I want you to know that my work will never be more important than you. You are my priority, beautiful."

"Do you promise it won't happen again?"

"It will never happen again, darling. Let's rest, okay? Tomorrow we'll have a lovely date. Sleep now, I love you."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ MINHO

He didn't know how much it hurt. Months without being able to go on a date with him. You didn't ask for much, not even for it to be a date outside the house. Just spending time together was enough for you. You just wanted to be with your boyfriend.

Minho hadn't even realized that you had sent him so many messages. He was trying to add new steps to the new choreography; the comeback was approaching, and he felt desperate to finish everything. He just wanted to rest.

It got really late; he was leaving the company around 1:30 am. When he reached the parking lot, the first thing he did was check his phone for any message from you. To his surprise, he had hundreds of messages from you, and the most concerning part was that the recent ones expressed disappointment towards him. What had he done wrong?

Slowly, he read each one and realized that you had a planned date today. He had completely forgotten, and he felt horrible. It had been months since you could go out or have a nice date. He put his phone aside and headed to his apartment. He needed to fix things with you; he knew you had been looking forward to this day for a long time.

As soon as he arrived at his apartment, he searched for you everywhere but couldn't find you. That made him even more nervous. He felt like he had lost you. However, he heard a sound coming from the bathroom—it was you, coming out after showering. At that moment, he breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he had messed things up, but at least you were still there.

You were frozen; you didn't expect Minho to come home so late. You stayed up late because you couldn't sleep due to anger and disappointment. So, you decided to take a shower to release all those consuming emotions. Lost in your thoughts, you felt someone wrapping their arms around you. You wanted Minho to let go, but deep down, you needed a hug. In whispers, you heard explanations from your boyfriend about how the stress of the comeback was consuming him, and he spent a lot of time at the company, even though he wished all that time was invested in you.

"Forgive me, please. I completely forgot that we were supposed to go out today. I'm really sorry that you felt that way, sweetie. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. Tomorrow we can go out; I'll stay home. But please, forgive me." You just nodded and gave him a small kiss.

"I love you, Minho."

"I love you too."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ CHANGBIN

You were sitting in your chair, waiting for Changbin to show up. You weren't even angry; just sad because you had planned this outing so much. You were worried because he wasn't answering your messages. You knew he had a busy job, spending most of his time in the studio producing with his friends. But you were hoping for the day when you could spend the entire day together, despite both of your stress and worries.

As it got later, you felt more tired. Without hope, you went to your room to change and remove your makeup. Today, you looked and felt beautiful, but it seemed like all that effort had gone to waste. You sat at your vanity, looked at yourself in the mirror, saw how tired you were, and started crying. Your relationship was wearing you down in a way you couldn't describe, but you wanted to stay because he made you happy. Changbin rarely failed in your relationship. Honestly, at the beginning, you expected something worse, but no, Changbin was the perfect boyfriend. The only complicated thing was his work, but you knew it was his dream, so you felt happy for him. You turned back to the mirror, saw tears, didn't even realize you were crying, which made you cry even more. You really missed your boyfriend, but things were getting more complicated. You just kept sitting there, crying in front of the mirror, waiting for your tears to stop.

Moments later, when you were calmer, you heard gentle knocks on your room door, followed by Changbin's voice asking for permission to enter. Something inside you didn't want to see him; you felt and looked horrible.

"Can I come in, princess?"

"Not now, Changbin, I need time," your voice sounded rushed, trying to remove your makeup as best as you could, mascara running like never before.

"Please, princess, I need to talk to you," the man sounded desperate.

"Just give me a few minutes, please." Saying that, you went to your bathroom, washed your face, and once clean, you ran to open the door. Your surprised boyfriend could only put his head on your shoulder; he exuded such a sad vibe.

"Forgive me, please. Time flew by, and I never realized we were going out today. I didn't even hear your messages. I'm really sorry, princess," Changbin was on the verge of tears, genuinely repentant.

"I know, Binnie, it's okay, don't worry," you said while stroking his head.

"It's not okay, princess. You are my everything, and today, I failed you. Forgive me, please. It will never happen again," he said between sobs. You couldn't believe he was crying.

"Love, I know how difficult your job can be. You have to do many things, and it's okay. I understand, and I trust you not to let it happen again. I love you," you said while hugging him tightly.

"I love you too, and sorry again."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ HYUNJIN

You were angry, not even sad, just angry. You had been wanting to see your boyfriend for a while, and as soon as he told you he had some free time, you planned many things to spend time with him. You even prepared many things for him, cooked various dishes, bought a little gift, and even tried to paint something for him. It turned out beautiful, but your boyfriend never showed up to see your little gifts.

You were on your way home when you felt someone approaching you. It made you nervous because it was already dark, and someone approaching wasn't a good sign. You started walking faster, but you heard the footsteps of the other person accelerating too. You didn't want to start running because if you weren't fast enough, things would end badly. Besides, you were carrying the things you had taken to the place where you were going to meet Hyun. All you were praying for was to reach a street where there were more people to lose that person. However, your wish couldn't be fulfilled, and you felt the person following you grab you by the shoulders. You almost fainted right there, but upon hearing the person's voice, your soul returned to your body.

"Why are you walking so fast, my goodness," said Minho, trying to regulate his breath.

"Oh my god, Minho! I almost had a heart attack. I thought I was about to be kidnapped. I swear I won't survive the night," you said, speaking very fast. Your voice didn't even have an annoyed tone; you could only hear relief.

"I called you several times, but you never paid attention. You were in your own world. What did you want me to do?" he complained.

"Well, your friend, the idiot, stood me up and never replied to my messages," you complained with an annoyed tone.

"I know, that's why I came. Honestly, it wasn't his intention. As soon as he saw the messages, he tried to run out, but the idiot tripped and sprained his ankle," Minho explained.

"Oh my god, but is he okay?" you asked worried.

"Crying but yes, he's okay. If I were you, I'd go to the company to see him because otherwise, it's going to end up being a disaster," a sigh was all that came out of you, nodding your head. You accompanied Minho back to the company.

As soon as Hyunjin saw you, he started crying more, feeling guilty. But all you did was approach him, hug him, and tell him not to worry right now. First, his health was important, and then you could talk.

"Don't worry right now, Hyunnie. First, get better, okay? I love you, everything is fine," you gave him a little kiss on the head.

"Forgive me, I love you. I swear when I recover, I'll take you on a very nice date. I promise."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ JISUNG

Angry, frustrated, sad, humiliated— you felt like a sea of emotions. You told him how you felt, but you didn't know if it had been the best choice, or the right words, or the right moment. Maybe he was just too busy? But still, it didn't give him the right to stand you up. It wasn't the first time; if the times you went on dates were few, the times he actually made it to the dates were even fewer.

You felt tired, abandoned even. You hardly had the chance to see your boyfriend, and you knew his life was complicated. But there was always the need, the desire to spend time with him, to love him like the first time, to be loved.

Now that you had arrived home, you didn't know what to do. It was like reality had punched you. You realized you had said things that could be misinterpreted. Perhaps the last message would seem like you wanted to break up when that wasn't really the case. The words you said were spoken without much thought; you were just venting, but it wasn't the best. You were shattered. You couldn't even move from the entrance; you were crying oceans, clinging to the door. You didn't want to move; your head hurt, and you couldn't even breathe properly. At this point, you were hyperventilating. Meanwhile, your boyfriend was rushing to your apartment to find you. He didn't want things to end between you two; he loved you and was willing to make a great sacrifice for you.

He arrived in less than 10 minutes, even though your apartment was 15 minutes away. He knocked on the door with desperation, which snapped you out of your trance. However, you couldn't move; everything hurt. As you didn't answer, he became even more worried. He entered the code to the entrance and found you on the floor, in pain, struggling to breathe. He took you in his arms and tried to calm you down. After a long time, you were much calmer, just looking at your boyfriend with teary eyes.

"I don't want to break up with you. I'm sorry, Hannie," you whispered.

"Nor do I want to, my love. Please let me take care of you. I promise that from now on, I'll always be there for you. My work will never come before you. You are my priority. Forgive me, let me fix things. I love you. I'm sorry," he pleaded.

"I forgive you, my love. I love you too. Let's go back to how we were before."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ FELIX

You were already asleep in the room you shared with Felix. A few hours ago, you were supposed to have your wonderful date. Unfortunately, that didn't happen because your boyfriend was probably busy. Yes, you were angry, but more than that, you were disappointed and sad. You used to be a sensitive person, so these kinds of actions hurt your feelings a lot. Let's say you had to cry yourself dry to fall asleep.

Felix was on his way home, very nervous and disappointed in himself. He had forgotten about the date you were supposed to have, one of the few times you could have time for just the two of you. He suspected that you were either devastated or asleep because you weren't answering his calls or messages. They even said your phone was on silent. When he got home, he looked for you in the kitchen. He saw your dishes neatly washed, while his were still on the table. The table was decorated with flowers and a few candles. You even bought a pink wine for the occasion. He had really messed up this time.

In panic, he went to look for you in the room, praying that you were there. And yes, he saw your small figure hidden under the sheets. That made his heart squeeze tightly. Had he really hurt you? He knew you were a very sensitive person, like a porcelain doll. He had to handle you with care, and that was his favorite part—taking care of you. You were his everything. How had he been failing you so much lately? He wanted to cry right there. He wanted to leave his busy life to give all his attention to you. Slowly, he approached you and sat on the side of your bed where only your hand hung. He took it gently and caressed it. He gave you a small kiss while whispering how sorry he was, how much he felt for hurting you, for failing you. He didn't realize you had woken up, only hearing the sweet and sincere words he was dedicating to you.

You got concerned when you felt your hand wet, a sign that he was already crying. Carefully, you moved and, in a slow motion, sat on the floor with him, face to face. You took his face gently in your hands and gave him many kisses, tickling him, which made him smile.

"It's okay, Felix. I already told you that I understand that your life is difficult."

"But even if it is, that doesn't mean I can fail you. It hurts to admit that I completely forgot that we were supposed to have a date today. I know how hard you try to do things for both of us. Please, forgive me. I want to give my all for this relationship, angel. I want things to be like before when we were both so happy."

"I want that too, Lix. I forgive you, okay? For now, let's have dinner together. I left your plate on the table, but I guess the food is already cold." You got up slowly and then extended your hand towards your boyfriend.

"Thank you, beautiful. I love you more than you can imagine. Things will get better, I promise." He gave you a kiss on the cheek as you both headed to the kitchen.

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ SEUNGMIN

You were clearly hurt, unsure how to react to what happened. Seungmin had stood you up at a restaurant, and now you had to pay for an inexpensively expensive bottle of champagne and a meal you didn't even bother to eat. Walking back home with your heels in one hand and a broken heart in the other, you didn't want to return to your shared apartment with Seungmin. But your feet and head ached, you were tired, so you stopped at a bus stop to rest for a while. You felt your eyes getting heavy, very sleepy, but you knew it wouldn't be a good idea to fall asleep on the street. It was dangerous, and you didn't want anything bad to happen. So, you called one of your friends to pick you up.

You patiently waited for your friend, and when they arrived, Seungmin called. You didn't really feel like answering, but you did it anyway.

"Where are you?" At that moment, your friend arrived in their car, so you quickly got in because you didn't want to make them wait.

"On my way home, I guess." You weren't sure if you wanted to go home, but it was the most likely option.

"What do you mean 'I guess'? Don't you want to go home?" He asked with a concerned tone.

"It's not that, Seungmin. Just a friend picked me up, and I wanted to spend some time with him. Yes, I'll go home, okay?" A somewhat annoyed tone came from your voice. You didn't want to sound like that, but you were very tired and just wanted to rest. Your friend turned to look at you, worried. You just signaled to them that everything was okay.

"Do you know what time you'll be home?" he asked worriedly.

"To be honest, I don't know. I hope before midnight."

"I'll be waiting for you here. I love you. I'm sorry, beautiful." You noticed a tone of regret in his voice.

"I love you too, Seung." You sighed tiredly one last time and ended the call.

You and your friend spent the time talking on the way to distract you from the bad experience. Despite having brought food, your friend suggested going to a fast-food restaurant and ordering something through the drive-thru, and it sounded like a good idea. So, you both had dinner in the parking lot, continued talking for a while, and decided it was time to go home. Your friend drove you back and waited for you to enter the building where you lived.

The moment you entered your apartment, you felt a heavy, sad vibe—something inexplicable. It felt completely weird because you expected Seungmin to come running to see if you had arrived safely, but none of that happened. So, you decided to go look for him. You found him in your shared bed, curled up, crying like never before, which crushed your heart. Slowly approaching him, once by his side, you started stroking his back, intending to help him calm down. However, that only made him cry more. He felt extremely guilty, but now you also felt guilty. You should have solved things earlier, but you chose to leave, making things worse than they were. You lay down next to him and hugged him, starting to comfort him, which this time worked. After a few minutes, he began to speak.

"Sorry, beautiful. I completely forgot that we were going out today, and by the time I realized, too much time had passed, and I couldn't find any way to fix it. Please forgive me. I promise I'll make it up to you." He apologized, turning around to face you.

"Of course, Minnie. I forgive you. I was just a little upset, but I know how busy your life can be. All I wanted was some time for us because lately, we haven't been able to go out like before," you said, stroking his cheek.

"I know, beautiful. But soon, I'll get some vacation, and if I don't, I'll take a few days off to be with you, my love." He hugged you tightly.

"Thank you, Minnie. I love you more than you can imagine. Forgive me too, and let's keep being happy together, okay?"

"Yes, silly. I love you much more."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ JEONGIN

After sending that message, you felt guilty because maybe it wasn't his fault, but it seemed like he wasn't putting in the slightest effort into your relationship. Every time something complicated happened in your relationship, it wasn't him who came to talk to you about it; it was always his coworkers. This bothered you a lot because it seemed like he was too cowardly to tell you things, either by message or face to face.

Right now, you didn't know whether to cry, get angry, or worry. You really didn't know what to do or how to act. What were you supposed to do? Wait and see if the man you love shows up, or if he's just going to back away again. These thoughts only made you more depressed. You even fell asleep while crying, so you didn't know what was happening around you at that moment.

When you woke up, you had missed numerous calls from your boyfriend, his friends, your friends—literally everyone. He had been looking for you for about an hour and a half, something that surprised you because you didn't even feel like you had fallen asleep, so you didn't notice the calls and messages they had sent you. Disoriented, you started reading messages from your friends saying that Innie had been looking for you for a while and seemed sad. When you began reading his messages, you realized you had messed up really badly. You had around 100 messages from Jeongin apologizing, asking you not to leave him, and begging to see you just to apologize properly. If you didn't want to be with him anymore, he said it was okay, but he just wanted to say goodbye properly. However, you didn't want to end it either; you only said it on a stupid impulse. He was and is the love of your life, and you didn't want things or the love between you to end. You quickly called him, praying that he would answer, and not even 3 seconds passed when a desperate Jeongin answered. You were about to speak, but he started apologizing endlessly, just saying words desperately, not even making coherent sense. He just didn't want you to hang up and say you no longer wanted to be with him. His desperation made you feel disoriented and sad, but at the same time, it frustrated you because he wouldn't let you talk. Therefore, you decided to raise your voice a bit to make him stop talking.

"Jeongin! Let me speak first, okay?"

"Yes, sorry."

"I don't want to break up with you. I know I said I couldn't take it anymore, and it's true, but I know being busy is not your fault. I just want you to communicate more with me. I don't want your friends always having to inform me. I want it to be you," you said with some emotion, finally able to express what you felt.

"Yes, love, I promise. From now on, I'll change for the better, but please don't leave me. I love you more than you can imagine. That's why from today, I'll be the person who makes you happy forever," he promised with a lump in his throat.

"If that's the case, come home now, Innie. I miss you. I want to fix things properly. I miss everything about you, please," you begged your boyfriend.

Tag list !!

@albaficaslover

@damselettism

[tinyarsonist]

Volume: Down

"If you don't keep it down, the kids will hear you."

Summary: You and your group finally debut! After a heart breaking accident, leaving you feeling less than you've ever felt Chan shows a side to you that leaves you wanting more.

Rating: M, TW under cut

Pairing: BC x Reader, FWB -> friends -> lovers

Italics are in Korean. Bold is in Spanish. Rest in English.

Volume Series: Part One | Part Two | ?

MDNI, 18+ Only

TW: idol!Chan, IdolTrainee!Y/N(fem!), No use of 'Y/N', slight angst, mentions of drinks, piv, unprotected sex (wrap it up), smut in general, dirty talk, cunnilingus, swearing, mentions of masturbation, semi-public sex, fellatio, insemination, PleasureDom!Chan, let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count: 13k

Est Reading Time: 40min

“Always so good.”

Chan groaned as he kissed your inner thigh. His hands held you nice and steady for him as his tongue glided over your core. Chan had finished just moments earlier, gracing your skin with his release. But, when he saw on your face that you didn’t come, he wasted no time in cleansing his palate for dessert. Licking up his remains before traveling down south, you tried telling him that it was fine. That you were just distracted but he didn’t let you finish your sentence; “Well, then let me help you relax.”

Your grip tightened on the sheets as you squirmed underneath him. Every time he pulled just slightly away; your hips jutted up to follow him. Craving any form of friction they could get.

It didn’t matter how often the two of you would meet up. Your body responded to every touch he could give. Chan made it his job every time to make sure your mind was just as focused as your body was. And it--he--never disappointed.

You weren’t thinking as your hand reached out slightly towards his black curls. As if he could feel your hesitation, he nipped around your bikini area. “Go ahead, baby. Use me.”

It didn’t take long for you to finish once your hand met the back of his head and did exactly as you were told. Chan had to hold in his smile as you rode out your high, still grinding against his tongue despite all the shaking in your thighs. Ever the gentleman he was, Chan kept you propped up until you finally cooled down. He wiped your essence off his face with the back of his hand. That famous smirk of his never leaving as he crawled next to you in bed and pulled the sheets over the two of you.

You and Chan had this newfound rhythm when it came to your little “rendezvous,” as he liked to call them. Sneaking in and out of his dorm every so often for a quickie followed by some cuddling at the end. You usually slinked out of his arms once his soft snores filled the room, leaving him with that empty feeling in the morning when his alarm went off. Ever since that unfortunate incident with Felix in the kitchen, you kept the shenanigans confined in his room as an unspoken rule. And due to his insomniac schedule, it was easy not bumping into the other members as they're usually already fast asleep. Speaking of sleep--

“You look like you're about to knock out,” you laughed as his arms wrapped around your waist and held you close to his chest.

“Don't tease me,” he grumbled as he squished his face on the top of your head. “Had to give it my all, okay?”

“Okay, okay.” You chuckled and stretched a bit in his hold. You could feel your body shutting down and knew you should start heading out. You had an early day, with training for your debut schedule starting. It was exciting, but definitely nerve-racking. Your company did not tell you when or where your group would make your debut, just that you should be prepared for it. Exciting. Not exactly helpful, but exciting nonetheless! “I should get going soon.”

Chan heard your words and instantly groaned. He just got you, couldn't he have you for just a little while longer? It felt like most nights without you in his bed were even harder to sleep despite you never being there in the morning. “Okay,” he sighed and pulled back a bit to look down at you. Already planning when he can get you back in these sheets. “You free for next Friday?”

“Can't,” You shook your head. “My schedule is crazy this week with practice, I'll barely be getting enough sleep as is. The Tuesday after?”

“Flying out to Paris for a charity event with the kids on Thursday. Probably will stay a week and a half after that…”

Silence clung between the two of you like his duvet. “So…” you bit your lip. “It'll be almost a month then until either of us are free?”

His eyes locked on yours. The grip on your waist tightened a bit as the realization settled over the both of you—a whole month. Chan does not even think it has been more than 4 days without seeing each other ever since this nonverbal agreement started. “Yea…”

Without a word being said the two of you locked onto one another. Pulling and grabbing at each other like one measly month would undo it all. Trying to satiate your hunger in each other until the next time finally rolled around.

Screw it. You'll just sleep during rehearsal break.

“Shit!” You huff in frustration as you slump to the training room floor. Your group has been practicing non-stop for the debut. Recently getting word that there was a time slot at Inkigayo with your name on it, your team was pushing every fiber of their being into getting this performance right. All of your team's hard work was paying off and showing. Why else would your company invest in such a big debut? Even the meat suits in tuxes could see the team’s worth. You couldn’t have been prouder of your girls.

If only you weren’t the one holding them back.

No matter how much you practiced, you couldn’t stick that tumble during the bridge. Your footing kept slipping as you tried to get back up. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t perfect. One wrong weight shift and you could twist your ankle in the worst way possible. You could already feel the strain on the backside of your tendon.

“Let's take a five,” your youngest waved off the other two girls to grab some snacks before taking a seat next to you. During your time together, the two of you became extremely close and she naturally took the role as your ‘second.’ Becoming the person, you knew you could lean on when things got tough. You were made, and trained, to support your girls, but her? She volunteered to support you. “You okay?”

You nod your head and stretch your foot to help relieve some tension on your ankle. She watches you as you try to brush off her question. “You seem distracted... More tense than usual.”

For some frustrating reason, your body was refusing to release despite your favorite toys coming out of their hiatus to fill in the time without Chan. She would be tense too if she couldn’t orgasm for 2 weeks straight and had another 2 weeks to go.

“I’m fine,” you smile at her. But that little grin of yours didn’t fool her. She gave you a look before leaning her head on your shoulder. Giving some comfort in the only way she knew how. You smile as you lean your head on hers.

“Is it a boy?” She said quietly after some time causing you to stiffen a bit. The rest of the group knew that you and Chan had met during the interview. However, they knew nothing else of that night. Even though it was eating you up on the inside.

If word got out that a soon-to-be-debutee and one of the world’s leading K-pop artist were seeing each other, your group’s image would be ruined. Even if the two of you weren’t together in that way and just used one another to forget the stress of your jobs for the night. That was the downfall to the marketing of the industry. A horrible negative to have the world hear your music—your love life was never your own.

“No,” you fibbed. The younger lifted her head slightly to look at you, not fully believing in your rebuttal, but deciding not to pry any further. The two others returned with a bounty of snacks to last a lifetime. The four of you giggled and chatted as the food was passed around.

“Speech! Speech!” your youngest smiled at you as she held up her soda can in a make-shift toast. Everyone else followed suit. Comradery spreading amongst the four of you. In one week, everything you worked for will be known. Spreading like a wildfire, your music will finally reach those willing to hear. The long years of being broken down will be worth it. The rise you’ve been so desperately craving is finally coming your way.

“Soon, everyone will know our name!”

The dance studio erupted in cheers and laughter. You smile as you look at your three girls, pride racking through you like never before.

Look out world. Ready or not; here you come.

Chan woke up from his bed as he smelled the freshly cooked bacon wafting into his room. A grin spreading from ear to ear as you pushed open the door with your hip, a bed tray filled with homemade cooking spread beautifully was placed across his lap. “Good morning,” you smiled at him as he sat up in bed. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” Chan placed the breakfast off his lap and next to him on the bed. The food smelled delicious, but he had something else in mind for his first meal of the day. Before you could even question it, Chan pulled his duvet off from himself and pulled you onto him instead. Your giggles filled his room as one of his hands found the back of your head, pulling you in to plant wet kisses along your neck. His lips then interlock with yours. Bodies molding into one as the sun’s light filtered through his curtains. Finally pulling away, Chan smiled up at you as his hand brushed some falling strands of hair behind your ear.

Seeing you like this, above him and smiling, no thoughts of his day ahead. Just you.

Only you.

Chan’s heart dropped when he finally woke up. It's been 2 weeks since he last saw you. Even in his dreams, he was flooded with visions of you.

Groaning, he turned his alarm off. The back of his head hit his hotel pillow again as he tried to go back to his slumber. Trying anything he could to continue the domestic scene his subconscious created for him. Trying being the keyword. Within a moment of peace, his hotel room door was barged open. Changbin and Jisung happily entered the room, knowing that waking up a sleepy Chan might result in a pillow or two thrown at them. So, as they rounded the hallway corner, they held up a bag of food, and some drinks, as an offering. Hoping to appease the groggy wolf.

“Everything bagel with harvest cream cheese?” Chan glared at them. As they both nodded, Chan sighed and gestured for them to come in. Jisung happily plopped on the bed next to Chan as Changbin laid out the food for the 3 of them.

“Stayed up late?” Changbin asked as he pulled up a chair next to the bed. Chan just nodded, still trying his best to wake up.

Jisung took a massive bite of his bagel, tilting his head as he asked a follow up question. His cheeks full, giving his staple chipmunk-pout; “You okay? You’ve been sleeping less and less these past couple of days.”

“I’m fine,” Chan took a sip of his smoothie. He was trying his best to deal with his insomnia, but it’s doubled ever since their flight into Paris. Most of his nights were spent working on some new tracks, trying to keep his mind distracted. It didn’t help that every waking moment flashes of your rendezvous nights kept playing at the worst timing possible. During dance rehearsal, staff meetings, while on the way to a photoshoot; his body would feel hot every time his brain would remind him of the way your lips would wrap around him. “It's just jet lag is all...”

Changbin and Jisung shared a knowing look. It was a look only life-long friends could partake. A look that knew Chan was bluffing. “Well,” Changbin drew out the word. “we got some good news and bad news for you.”

“Bad news;” Jisung wrapped his arm around Chan’s shoulder before Chan could open his mouth. Knowing he would just complain even more about not getting any sleep. “we leave tonight. Ah, ah—no no don’t you dare!”

Jisung couldn’t contain his laughter as Chan groaned and pulled the duvet back over his head. This was the last thing Chan wanted to hear; just as his sleep schedule was somewhat getting back to normal, he gets to sit in a plane and travel back home. Another recipe for more jetlag. What great fun. Jisung tried to unravel Chan from the cocoon he created, but to no avail.

Changbin watched with a side smirk as Jisung tried his best to wrestle Chan out of bed. “The good news;” Changbin leaned against the chair with his arm crossed. “we were able to get a time slot at Inkigayo later this week.”

“I heard a certain new group would be debuting that same day.”

Chan peeked from under his covers. You would be there?

Of course, the other members knew of you. Poor Felix had to trauma dump to someone after what he witnessed the morning after your first night together. Chan had suffered tremendous teasing for weeks before they all finally cooled down. But, he knew that despite the hell they were putting him through, they would never let word get out about anything.

It would be nice to see you after these past couple of weeks. To root for you on your big day...

“When do we leave?”

Today was the day.

Everything was on the line. You could barely sit in your seat as your stylist finished up on your hair. Your girls were essentially bouncing around the dressing area; adrenaline coursing through them. “Hey,” you laughed as you watched them jump on the couches from the vanity mirror to chase one another. “Save the energy for the stage, ladies.”

“Yes, all mighty leader,” your youngest giggled as she bounded over to you as your stylist left to clean up her equipment. The rest of the girls followed suit, leaning onto one another to squeeze into the mirror’s frame. You placed your arms around them as much as you could, squeezing them in even closer. Giggles filling your ears as you looked at your team's reflection; trying to etch the image in your mind forever. “Hey,” your youngest looked down at your outfit. Her eyebrows scrunched up together as she pinched the fabric around your shoulder. “This looks like its fraying a bit.”

Viewing the fabric through the mirror, you could see the garment starting to undo itself. Muttering a small curse, you looked around. Your stylist had already left. Grabbing a safety pin, you tethered the fraction of the fabric together before exiting out of the dressing room. This was no big deal, you had to keep reminding yourself as your anxiety started to rise. All you had to do was find your stylist so they could sew it back up before your time slot.

Everything will be fine. There was nothing to worry about. Everything will go according to--

You didn’t have time to squeal when you felt a hand pull you sideways as you were walking down the hall and into a supply closet. Your back pushed against the wall adjacent to the door. A strong hand covering your mouth as the other found its place on your hip. A fluttery feeling in your gut as your eyes adjusted to the dim closet and focused in on the face dawning that dorky grin at you.

“mmphan?”

His grin never left his face as he removed the hand from your mouth to the back of your head; “Missed me?”

Your lips found Chan’s in a frenzy. A fast clash of flesh as every second the kiss was deepened. His hand tangling with your hair and pulling you flush against him. A small groan leaving his lips as your arms snaked around his neck and tugged at his roots. As you pulled away for a breath you couldn’t help but tease; “A little.”

Chan gave out a breathy laugh as the two of you clung onto one another. His span of Spanish was fairly low, but loved the way you always let your actions show him exactly what you meant.

His mind wandered about making his dream a reality and littering your neck with his mouth but knew better than to mark you up before your big break. No matter how much he wanted to. Just seeing you here, in the flesh, was more than enough for him. So, he let his hands wander, taking perch right under your shirt just to feel you. Every touch sent warmth through you as you unconsciously arched yourself closer to Chan. A slow rhythm between the two of you grinding on one another formed. Eager to feel anything after the long time apart.

“What’s this for?” Chan played with the safety pin on your shoulder. Never stopping his other hand from feeling your curves, now sneaking towards your back to press you even closer. As if this was all but another dream he was going to wake up from.

“Strap is coming loose,” you couldn’t help but lean in close to whisper in his ear. Shivers running through him as your teeth lightly grazed his lobe. Something was taking over you, something that you couldn’t explain. It could be from the long weeks of not seeing him, or the stress of having to perform soon. “Can’t have a nip slip on today of all days.”

Chan’s hand went from the safety pin to your ass. Kneading it softly as he guided you to raise your leg so he could press his clothed bulge on your core. The pressure making your head lean back on the wall, sighing from the contact. “I don’t know,” Chan smirked as he placed small kisses on your shoulder. “I wouldn’t mind seeing that.”

“Dirty boy”

That was a word Chan knew well. It somehow became his nickname after every rendezvous night. It was almost a Pavlovian response as he felt his boxer space start to constrict as he grew. It took everything in him to pause for a second. You were breathing heavily, eyes half lidded as you gazed up at him. Your smile sending butterflies throughout his body. “Maybe,” Chan bit his lower lip, “you can show just me? Hmm, later tonight?”

You didn’t mean to nod your head as quickly as you did. Your enthusiasm pulled a chuckle out of Chan as he placed a soft kiss against your lips before taking a step back so you could fix yourself. "Break a leg,” Chan smiled as you fixed your hair and went towards the door. “We’ll be rooting for you.”

As you were about to say your thanks, the closet door swung open. Chan pressed himself as flush as he could against the wall. The door blocking your stylist’s view of him. “Where have you been?” She scolded as you just stood there rigidly, trying your best to not cast your gaze at Chan who was doing his best to blend in with the drywall. “That little beast of a girl said you were looking for me—what are you doing in here?”

As she tried to peer into the closet, your hand flew to the side of the door to hold it in place. Blocking her view of Chan. “Nothing! Just—trying to see if there was a sewing kit since I got lost and couldn’t find you.”

She looked like she didn’t believe you, but she, and you, were on a timeline so she really couldn’t care less. Huffing, she grabbed your wrist and started guiding you back down the hall towards your dressing area. Chan had to contain his laughter as you casted him a terrified look before stepping out with the slightly-horrifying-older woman.

“Where did you run off to?” Minho grinned as Chan reentered their private dressing room. Everyone was lounging around on the couch as the group waited for their time slot. And these boys weren’t made for sitting still. So of course, they turned to teasing Chan as soon as he stepped in. Lucky him.

Taking a quick look around the room and confirming there were no cameras amongst the group, Chan casted a glare at Minho; “Shut up.”

“Or what?”

“Minho,” Hyunjin laughed from his seat, “don’t get him mad. Please. You’ll get him cranky.”

Minho rolled his eyes and leaned back on the couch; “He’s been cranky this past month. What difference will it make?”

“But you don’t have to share a wall with him when he decides to take that anger out on--”

“Hey!” Chan laughed and threw a pillow at Hyunjin to cut him off. Jisung, who was just starting to rest his eyes before their performance, shot up and covered Jeongin’s ears with his hands who innocently asked; “Taking it out on what??”

Changbin was a giggling mess as Chan bounded over to Hyunjin to playfully wrestle him on the couch. Once they settled down, Changbin commented, “Seriously, have you considered sound proofing?”

Chan groaned as he covered his face in his hands from embarrassment. The rest of the members laughing and poking fun at him wherever they could. The only pause of the teasing was when Felix shushed everyone and pointed at the TV. Your group had been announced and was walking the stage. The team settled down on the couch, Felix turned up the volume as they watched you interact with the crowd. A sensation of warmth mixed with a little pride filled him as you worked the crowd into getting excited, even though a vast majority of them didn’t even know your name. Laughing as the youngest in your group was behind you mocking you, causing you to send a glare her way. The room erupting in a chuckle as the two of you feigned a fight as the staff was setting the last of the stage up.

“She’s spunky,” Seungmin chuckled from his seat on the couch.

As you and your team got on your marks, music played. A beat that brought the room to sway a bit to in their seats. The choreography started, as did your time to shine, and Chan was completely immersed in the performance. The way you sang, your hips swinging to the music until your next verse, you flashing your beautiful eyes directly into the camera. Christopher knew it was for the audience at home once everything was edited, yet somehow it felt that it was all for him.

The bridge came on, a cute little dance to showcase each member and bringing it in together for a cohesive formation. Before the chorus started up again, the team tumbled on the floor before popping right back up. You did as well, and to the naked eye everything seemed to be going along perfectly. But in the room, everyone leaned a bit forward as you came back up. It was almost instant, the flash of pure pain across your face, before you went back into work mode and continued on. A look of pain that everyone in the dressing room knew a little all too well.

The song ended and you waved. Your youngest immediately finding you to hold you by your waist and help guide you down the stage before the audience could catch on.

“Do you think she’s--”, Felix turned to look at Chan, but he was already gone. “--okay?”

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid!’ that little voice in your head rang as your manager and team helped you to the room. Your ankle was starting to swell and turn purple with every step. The tumble you had practiced on for so long, still proved to be too much for your body. Everyone suggested leaving it out, but you insisted that it made the choreography even more amazing, and part of you wanted to prove that your team – you – could do it. You didn’t want to hold them down.

Chan stood for a moment at the door frame of your waiting room. The crew of Inkigayo, upgraded your team to a private area after you hobbled off stage for some peace. You were on the couch, hands covering your face as you let quiet tears fall. Feeling overwhelmed with the adrenaline of the performance and having to hide your pain--it was all too much. The rest of your group decided to give you some space, seeing that despite their attempts to cheer you up they were doing no good. He gave you a moment to brush the tears aside and notice him.

“Chan,” you sniffled and blinked away any water that was pooling at your eyes. “If you’re here to tell me how ‘great’ I did--I don’t want to hear it.”

“Okay,” Chan leaned off the door frame and made his way over to you. Your usual smile was replaced with a frown as you watched him close the distance between the two of you. Irritation was overtaking you from all the coddling from your teammates and management. Telling you that you did great, despite the slip-up and injury. That you kept your composure the entire time and no one in the audience could tell. That the debut was a hit! All those compliments fell on deaf ears--your own thoughts were too loud and massive to even take note of what everyone else was saying. Only focusing on how you screwed it up. You were supposed to be the leader. And the first time to show the world what your team was made of--you were the one to fuck it all up.

“Christopher,” you growl. “I mean it. I’ve had enough pity for a lifetime…”

“I know.”

You watched in silence as he knelt on the floor next to you to slip off your shoe on your injured leg. Holding it steady, he pulled out a compression wrap from his pocket and started to gently dress your ankle. “I always keep one on hand,” he said quietly as if he was scared to spook you. “Had a nasty slip back in my early days, learned to always keep a small first aid kit lying around.”

Chan made the last wrap around your ankle, making sure the elastic was nice and snug to give you any support you needed. Grabbing a pillow from the armchair next to him, he set it next to you and guided you to lay your injured foot on it. “Keep this elevated.”

You sniffled a bit as he grabbed some tissues on the coffee table and dabbed around your cheeks, cleaning up any make-up smudged from your tears. His eyes were focused on wiping away any evidence of your fears. But you? You couldn’t keep your eyes off him.

The way he took his time caring for you made you feel something you hadn’t felt with Chan before. Warm; a weird bubbly sensation in your gut that made everything twist and turn. It was different from all the times spent with Chan during your nights together. It was a deeper connection. One that scared you, but you didn’t want to lose the feeling of either.

“I have to go,” Chan put the tissues aside and stared up at you. He cupped your cheek, his thumb running softly against your skin. He didn’t want to go. It’s been so long since he’s last seen you, not counting the supply closet, and seeing you down like this made his heart hurt. He wanted nothing more than to hold you and chase those fears away. Chan wasn’t a stranger to those inner thoughts; that self-doubt that clouded every fiber of your own being. But his time slot was coming up soon. “You’ll be okay?”

“Yea…”

Chan stood up and made his way back to the door. “Chan?” You called out. When the two of you locked eyes, you bit your lower lip. It almost broke you to show him, or anyone, your most vulnerable state. It was different than when the two of you were in the sheets. This was somehow more personal. More intimate.

“Thank you.”

“Are you sure you don’t need anything?” Your youngest looked down at you, concern etched in her face. The team was invited to film an interview at Lotte World, and though your injury was manageable, your manager was concerned that being on your feet for a long period of time would just worsen your condition. The rest of the group was already loaded into the van waiting outside, but your youngest kept leaving the dorm only to return to check in on you. Like a little lost puppy who only wanted to bring comfort. You couldn’t help the side grin that came across your face as you pinched her cheek, causing her to wince a bit in discomfort.

“For the fifth time—I'm fine,” You scolded her lightly as you released her cheek. She pouted slightly and tried to rub the redness away. Nodding your head towards the door; “Now get out of here, you’re keeping everyone waiting. You’re going to be late.”

“Fine, fine!” She rolled her eyes at you as she headed towards the door. Stopping just briefly to lean dramatically at the hallways corner to give your big doe eyes. “I get it—you just hate me.”

Squeals of laughter flew from her as you chucked a pillow her way, finally jogging to head out. Sighing in relief as you heard the door close behind her. You settled in on the couch, keeping your foot on a pillow to rest it as you mindlessly scrolled through your phone. Content filling you as silence, finally, filled the dorm. As much as you love them, living with three lively girls was overwhelming from time to time.

Resting your head on the couch, you let the peaceful lull wash over you. For about thirty seconds.

“For God’s sake,” you huffed as you got up from your place. The light knocking on your door making you irritated. Swinging the door open your put your best reprimanding face on to chastise your youngest. “What now? Did you lock yourself out this ti--”

Chan stood there wide eyed as he became the target of your annoyance. He gave a meek smile as he held up some take-away as a peace offering. You paused as the two of you stared at one another for what seemed like eternity. That warm bubbly feeling making its reappearance as he stood there awkwardly; “So, um—can I come in?”

“Y-yea, sorry.” You shook yourself out of it as you stepped to the side and gestured him in. He took off his coat and laid it on the kitchen island as he started to lay out the takeaway. You slowly stepped towards him as he essentially made himself at home.

“You guys have a nice place,” he said nonchalantly as he busied himself. He felt confident when he came up with the idea of surprising you but seeing you in person made his conviction rattle just a bit. It’s been a week since he’s last seen you after your trip on stage, and despite his attempts to reach out--you remained silent. “A lot cleaner than when our agency piled all eight of us together.”

“Chan--”

“You have any plates?” He walked over to the cupboards in his search. Searching high and low for some bowls.

“Chan--”

“Seriously, how many mugs do you guys need?” He grumbled to himself as he opened the second cabinet. Stopping his hunt to look at you as you closed your distance and reached a hand out to touch his arm gently. His heart skipping a beat as he took in your appearance. The way your hair was coiled into a bun, some strands leaving its confines to frame your face. Your oversized shirt and sweats still somehow complimenting your curves. This homely version of you was comforting in some way.

“What are you doing here?”

“You... didn’t answer,” he replied softly. Trying his best to downplay the anxiety that racked through him this past week. “And--I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

You didn’t miss the way he glanced at your ankle before his gaze reached back up to yours. His face etched with care. The side smirk that you gave only caused the mood to lighten as you took a step back and opened the cabinet next to the one he was searching in. Grabbing a plate, you handed one to him before making your way to the platters filled with food. A comfortable silence between you two as you cram as much as you could into the tiny plates. Chan took a look around, subtly opening your drawer to peer into to find utensils.

“Ah, ah—nope.” You joked as you threw a plastic fork his way from the takeaway bag before making your way over to the couch. “I am not doing any more dishes than we need.”

Chan plopped next to you with a cheeky grin; “I could always do dishes.”

“You’re a guest,” you propped your leg on an ottoman. “Can’t have guest doing my chores, what kind of host would I be?”

“Well, considering you swung the door open like you were about to punch me—I say you’re not off to a great start.”

“Shut up,” you shove your shoulder on his, earning a small chuckle from Chan. As the two of you ate and watched daytime television your shoulder never left his. Supporting each other in the simplest of touches. Chan felt all his unease from the past week melt away as the two of you paid attention to the flat screen. No words needed to be spoken, just simply enjoying one another. The little crinkle forming around his eyes as he felt you leaned further into him. He couldn’t help but remember the first night you spent together with him. How the two of you fell into an easy rhythm of searching YouTube and just chatting the night away. Two pieces of a puzzle.

“I’m sorry... for not calling or texting back,” your quiet whisper brought him out of his thoughts as he turned to face you. He could see the guilt in your eyes. Your habit of biting your lower lip while thinking, sent a wave of warmth through him. Finding it extremely endearing to see you in such a state.

“Don’t worry about it. I understand, you needed your space.” You both set your plates down on the coffee table. As he said the words, part of him wanted to tell you what he was holding back. Tell you that he wanted to be there for you. That no matter what; his shoulder was yours to cry on if you needed it. It didn’t matter the time or the place, he would drop everything to be by your side. But, even as the thoughts rolled through his head, he stopped himself. Another part of him scared to voice them. Not only to you, but to himself.

You smile softly at his words. Your anxiety was soothed away by his reassuring demeanor. Time felt like it stopped as the two of you just stared at one another. It was starting to feel like these pauses in these instances were becoming more frequent. As your rapid heart rate. Especially when Chan leaned in a bit further; “But you do still have to answer my question.”

Question?

Your eyebrows scrunched together as your brain racked through what he was mentioning. What question? Did you dissociate during your time together and forget something?

He leaned a bit closer. You could feel his breath on your cheek as his eyes bore into yours. “Why...” his whisper was soft. Shivers running down your spine in anticipation. You didn’t know for what but knew that you were ready for whatever Chan threw at you. His hand slowly rising to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. Fingertips lightly grazing your skin.

“...do you guys have so many god damn mugs?”

The bark of laughter that coursed through you made those dimples you love reappear on his face. “You’re a fucking twat, you know that right?” You giggled as he moved his arm from your side to rest around your shoulder and pull you close to his chest. He feigned hurt at your words as he used his foot to move the ottoman with you, trying to keep your leg comfortable in the new position.

“It’s a genuine question; I’m concerned.”

“If you must know, we are caffeine addicts in this dorm.”

“Again--concerned.”

As the two of you laughed, you rested your cheek against his chest. Continuing the banter as the television continued its schedule. You weren’t sure how long had passed before Chan pulled out his phone and sighed a bit.

“I should get going,” he sounded annoyed. He knew he should head out and leave before your group came back from schedule, but his body didn’t react to his rational thinking. Fully content with you in his arms. Heart nearly melting at the sight of you looking up from his chest, lips pressed into a scowl at the mention of his departure.

“Don’t leave,” you nuzzled as close as you could. Grinning, as you could hear his heartbeat just a little faster at the gesture. “You just got here.”

Chan grinned as he pressed his forehead against yours. Scrunching up his nose a bit as his brushed the tip of yours. His smile infectious as his hand cupped your cheek. “Yea, still don’t understand Spanish, but when you’re all healed up, we can catch up again. Okay?”

“Okay,” you huff as you both pull away slightly. But his hand stops you from pulling back all the way. Thumb rubbing gently on your cheek as he stared down at your lips then back up to your eyes. Was he... asking for permission? This was new territory for both of you. Usually when together, it was a flurry of passion. Skin against skin, mouths usually too busy exploring each other’s bodies, clothes thrown aside. Nothing needed to be asked. Yet here you were, giving Chan a small nod before meeting him in the middle and pressing a gentle kiss on each other's lips. It was sweet. Lamblike. Nothing like the whirlwind that arose when the two of you were usually together. Chan felt his blood pumping through him, and for the first time it was not heading straight to his dick. His hand tried to keep the two of you as close as possible. Lips moving together in slow, almost calculated, motions. His tongue briefly brushing against your bottom lip with each rise and fall, but never fully making its way into your mouth. You could’ve groaned at the teasing, yet it somehow didn’t feel like that was his intention. It was almost as if he wanted to take his time with you. Prolonging what he could control.

Chan didn’t want this to end.

But when he finally pulled away to catch his breath, he looked down at you. Your eyes bright and wide. Showing him exactly every constellation of the universe in those wonderful orbs of yours. He opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it.

“Do you want to go on a date?”

Your brain so rewired from the kiss you didn’t even realize you asked him in Spanish. You hadn’t meant to ask him out at all in fact, just out to a simple cup of coffee or something, not wanting to be as far away from him as you were these past couple of weeks. But as those dimples appeared on his face again—you knew you couldn’t take it back. It was now or never.

“You know I have no idea what you’re saying.” Chan could gather it was a question directed at him, but that was the extent of his knowledge.

His face-tinged pink as you placed a chaste kiss on his cheek; “Figure it out, and get back to me.”

God, it was just like you to reel him back in. Without realizing what you were doing, you still somehow knew how to push all his buttons in all the right ways. Just as he was about to lean in again, the door to the apartment unlocked and your team barreled through. Stopping at the corridor corner to stare at the two of you. Their laughter halting just as quickly as their feet. Chan and you quickly created distance from one another.

“Hi, ladies.” You gave a small smile as Chan cleared his throat and abruptly stood up. His face turning red as he tucked his hands nervously into his pockets.

“Ahem, er, well. I’ll be on my way out!” He gave you an awkward bow before making his way to the door. Bowing nonstop to your team, who was still frozen in place, their bodies moving with him as he attempted to escape.

“Chan?” His head popped from around the corner. The poor man looked like a bat out of hell. Two parts of equally embarrassed and terrified, with his face turning crimson and his eyes wide with fear. His body language was tense, as if he didn't know what to do or where to go. Trying to hold back your chuckle, you nodded towards the kitchen counter. “Your jacket.”

“Ah, right right!” He bustled past your girls, more awkward bows as he grabbed his jacket and returned to the door—making a haste retreat out of the apartment—leaving you to clean up the mess. How sweet.

Your youngest turned to you with wide eyes. A deer trapped in headlights. The other two just had their mouths open, staring at the closed door. As if their minds were tricking them to see the Bang Chan leaving their living room in a hurry. “So, um...” you clap your hands together and gesture to the takeaway on the counter.

“Anyone hungry?”

"Are you sure you’re getting the pronunciation right?”

Changbin, Hyunjin, and Jisung were gathered around Chan, their eyes glued to his laptop screen as they tried suggestions to type into Google Translate. It's been two days since you told Chan to ‘figure it out’, and though he thought the question was harmless, it was eating away at him. Tossing and turning throughout the night, there was nothing else he could fully focus on. His dorm mates found him hunched over his keyboard, furiously typing away, trying his best to decipher your phrase late at night when they decided to help in any way that they could. Between the four of them—it was just one brain cell rotating back and forth at midnight.

“How many different ways is there to type out this word?” Chan grumbled as Changbin pulled out his phone.

“Depending on the context, about three. Each one meaning different things somehow?”

“Dear, God!” Chan groaned and held his face in his hands. Hyunjin patted Chan’s back sympathetically.

“You know what you have to do.”

“No, no—anything but that.” Chan turned his head to face Hyunjin, his brows scrunched together in frustration. Not wanting to admit defeat. Jisung sighed and put his hand on Chan’s other shoulder.

“We’ve been going at this for hours--”

“Ten minutes.” Changbin corrected Jisung.

“--for what feels like hours.” Jisung rectified, “You have to put your big boy pants on and call her.”

“It’s almost one in the morning--”

“Hyung,” Changbin groaned. “Stop being a baby and just call her. We all know she’ll be up. She’s practically an owl.”

Chan swiveled in his chair as he watched them leave his room one by one. “Wait, wait—please don’t! We can keep trying Google!” Jisung mouthing a ‘sorry’ before he closed Chan’s bedroom door. Leaving him to do the one thing he knew he would never hear the end of.

Pulling out his phone his finger briefly hovering over the contact before sighing and hitting the video call button. It rang once, twice, and on the third ring he was met by a zoomed in eyeball on his screen.

“For fucks’ sake, Hannah, can you be normal for once?”

Hannah held her phone out at arm's length, giving full view of her in her bed. Some journals and crumbled up pages littered her bed giving indication that she was up late trying to express herself in her own creative process. Apparently, insomniac gifted night owls ran in their bloodline. “Geez, you’re in a mood,” Hannah grumbled as she sat up in her bed, “What’s up?”

She listened as her older brother described the events from two days ago. Chan tried to ignore the growing grin on her face as he continued on, trying his best to pronounce the words you whispered to him to the best of his ability. “So,” Chan fell into his bed with a ‘thump’. His head hitting his pillows as he stared up at his phone, holding it above him as he waited, “what did she ask?”

Hannah continued that shit eating grin of hers as she sang her next words; “Channie’s got a girlfriend~”

“Hannah--”

“You like like her, huh?” Hannah talked over Chan as he just rolled his eyes. Proving his case and point that he was going to regret this call.

“Hannah, for the love of God. Can you just tell me?”

“I’m sorry what was that?” Hannah cupped her ear and feigned confusion. “I think you were missing a word or two there. Probably bad cell connection.”

Tricky little--

“Hannah,” he replied as nicely as he could through his gritted teeth, “can you please tell me what she said.”

“I believe my name is ‘sister-that-is-always-right'.”

“I’m hanging up--”

“Wait, wait!” Hannah’s giggles rang through Chan’s speakers as one hand still held his phone above him and the other hovered over the ‘end phone call’ button on his screen. “Okay, okay! I’m sorry.”

“Geez,” Hannah gave her brother a knowing look, “you’ve got it bad, huh? She’s got you all in a tizzy.”

“Hannah, its late. And I haven’t slept in two days. Can you please just--”

“She asked you out, idiot.”

More laughter from the speaker could be heard as the phone slipped from his fingers and fell square onto his face. Hannah taking a blurry screen shot before it made contact—still able to see the look of pure surprise, sprinkled with elation, in the candid photo.

A week. One whole week. No text, no call. Pure silence.

As much as you enjoyed solitude, especially when it came to your teammates, you couldn’t help but feel at lost from not hearing back from Chan. Your mind was constantly racing, even as you currently sat with your girls on the couch, watching Singin’ In the Rain—your thoughts were consumed of Chan and his out of character ghosting.

Maybe he couldn’t figure it out? Maybe he was busy; he was a global sensation after all. His schedule was probably fluctuating like water. You couldn’t blame him. He was living his dream, and there was nothing in you other than pride.

And some self-doubt.

Because as much as you wanted to believe that he was running back and forth like a crazy man, there was still one thought that rang louder than the rest—maybe he just wasn’t interested. It wasn’t a far-off idea. You knew that all those rendezvous' nights had one unspoken rule—for that one night, and those one nights only—you were his and he was yours. But it was never supposed to go past that.

Stupid Chan for being so sweet to you; bandaging your ankle at your most exposed moment and coming in to check on you when you were too embarrassed at yourself and running away from any form of confrontation. You once told DIV studios that you were immune to Chan’s flirting—but you never said anything about his affection.

“Ah,” your youngest sighed from her next to you on the couch. She craned her head to look at the door after hearing a soft knock. “That’s probably the pizza.” Without another word, all four of you started to play rock-paper-scissors. Ultimately ending with your loss, and the girls whooping their celebration as you got up and made your way to the door. You opened it without taking a look in the peep hole.

Chan stood there, wearing a black mask to go with his hoodie and beanie. Despite half his face being covered you could tell it was him from the way his eyes crinkled. Was that—nervousness you saw?

“I would--” Chan cleared his throat when you just stood there, unable to form words on your mouth, “I would love to go on a date with you.”

When you didn’t speak, he shifted a bit more on his feet. “That’s um... all I know how to say.” Chan chuckled to ease the tension. You take note how his hands are tucked into the front pouch of his hoodie. No doubt fiddling with his rings anxiously as he shifted in his place. Chan felt like he was back in middle school asking a girl to dance for the first time. Butterflies, knots in the stomach, all the works, were rushing through him.

"Say something, you idiot!” You heard your youngest hiss at you. All three of them are leaning over the couch’s backrest to watch the scene unfolding in front of them. Ears and face flushed all you could do was nod your head. You wanted to speak. Wanted to jump and giggle your way into his arms. But hearing him speak Spanish—everything in you was so hot and flustered. A hold that you just couldn’t bring yourself to get out of.

“Great--cool,” Chan was glad for the mask. That way you couldn’t see him biting the inside of his cheek. “Did you...want to go now?”

“Now?”

“Now?” your girls parroted, and you finally got out of your frozen state to glare at them. Your youngest making a motion of zipping her lips and throwing away the key.

“I have a packed schedule for the rest of the week.” A blatant lie. Truth was, Chan couldn’t wait anymore. He wanted to see how this would all pan out. He just didn’t want to show just how desperate he was to spend time with you. But the way you bit your lip and stood aside to let him in, he knew that part of you could see through it all. You quickly excused yourself to your room to get ready, knowing that your oversized comic shirt and sleeping shorts would not cut it for a night out.

Your girls’ eyes narrowed as Chan stood in the hallway. Another awkward bow towards them in greeting as he waited for you. When he first knocked on your door it required all of his resolve to remain in place, as he struggled to overcome his desire to bolt and flee. The intimidation he felt about you potentially passing on the offer was too much, but he pushed through it. The thought of you saying yes outweighed the cons that tumbled through his head. Yet, as he stood under the prying eyes of your team, he felt that same fear overtake him because he knew this wouldn’t be a conversation.

It would be an interrogation.

“Where are you taking her?”

“Somewhere special.” A spot he held close to his heart, he wanted to add, but they cut in before he could express his words.

“Late at night? Why?” One quipped before another added; “Trying to pull something sly on her?”

“What? No, I-I, I’ve had a busy schedule--”

“Oh, so everything should be based on when you’re available?”

“What? No! It’s just--”

They were going so fast, Chan barely had time to think of a response before the other fired off another question.

“You think because you’re famous, you can just jerk her around?” Your youngest glared at him. He opened his mouth quickly, but another was quick to intercept him.

“Such typical male behavior.”

“Alright, that’s enough!” Everyone quickly turned to you as you stepped out of your room. Putting an end to the girl’s questioning, much to Chan’s relief. You smiled as you leaned over the couch to pinch your youngest cheek before turning back to Chan.

“Shall we head out?”

“Wow,” is all you could say as Chan lead you to a lone bench. After about a half mile climb up the staircase, the two of you finally reached your destination—on top of a hill overlooking Seoul’s city lights. With the late hour, the city was asleep leaving the feeling that it was only the two of you in the world. The both of you sat on that bench for an hour or two, just catching up from the week you spent apart. Conversation flowing naturally between the two of you once again. Chan told you that he would sneak up here every now and then to clear his head after working his expected long hours. Everything was quiet enough for him to just detach--but your howls ringing through the clearing was just as welcoming to his ears.

“Okay, okay!” You laughed as Chan had to explain putting his pride aside to ask his younger sister for help. His arm was around your shoulder, pulling you in close as the two of you watched the quiet city below. “So, you went through all of that, but you didn’t think of calling me for like a hint or something?”

“You said to figure it out!”

“Not if it meant selling your soul!”

Chan chuckled as his grip around you tightened a bit, shaking you as you laughed. His eyes locked on to you; the way your face was red due to the chilly night, the crinkles around your eyes as you smiled, and the way you scrunched up your nose. “For you—it was worth it.”

God, how much you wanted to pull down that damn mask of his and touch his lips with yours. Everything about this night was perfect. But soon, the clock hit 3am and the two of you decided to head back before your girls decided to send a search team for you. Getting up with a groan, Chan laced his fingers with yours as he led you towards the exit.

Chan noticed the way you stared down at the stairs, your eyebrows pinched together at the thought of having to walk all the way down. He wondered briefly if your ankle was still bothering you. It's been weeks since the sprain, but if you soldiered your way climbing up the steps there was a chance that you were feeling some tension on the tendon. Without a word, he let go of your hand and went down two steps and leaned a bit forward. Casting a glance over his shoulder he gestured for you to ‘hop on’. You giggled as you jumped and latched around him like a koala. He feigned a groan at the impact as he adjusted you before grabbing onto the underside of your thighs to hoist you up.

“Hey, hey!” Chan giggled as you hooked your chin on his shoulder and blew into his ear. “Cut it out or I’m leaving you here!”

You giggled as you muttered an apology as he continued to descend the steps. Chan hummed as he became your personal lackey, taking in the night sights and the clear star filled sky. Your eyes never leaving his profile as the gears in your head turned; “Why did it take you so long to say yes?”

Chan stumbled on a step for a second before readjusting you in his grip. “I figured since you asked me in Spanish,” Chan kept his gaze focused on the trail ahead, “that I should reply in Spanish.”

“You practiced for days to get it perfect, didn’t you.”

The embarrassed chuckle from Chan was all confirmation you needed. And, though you didn’t think it was possible, you felt you heart swell as you snuggled closer to his nape.

“Did we not have a great date?”

“We did.”

“And now it’s coming to an end.”

“It is.”

“Then--,” you huff and cross your arms across your chest. Chan smiles and leans his shoulder against your door, looking down at you as you pout and look anywhere else but at him. He could tell that you were trying to pull something out of him. What it was he wasn’t exactly sure, but seeing you turn red, and struggle was entertaining to watch. You were being cute.

To both of your disappointment; the evening was coming to an end. And despite your subtle attempts to pull some physical intimacy from Chan during the car ride back to your dorm, Chan was doing his very best to hold himself back in anyway that he could.

“Then?” Chan grinned down at you. His fingers lightly grazing your chin and tilt you head up towards him.

You finally bit your lower lips and looked up at him. Yes, you were beating around the bush. But him? He was just fully toying with you. His Libra was showing. “Then…

Why haven’t you kissed me?”

It felt like everything was going backward. Ever since he asked you on this date, it felt like he was trying to distance himself. Holding back in any way that he could. But that wouldn’t be it--would it? The way your eyes kept roaming to his lips throughout the night should’ve been more than enough to hint at what you wanted most. Unlike Chan, you were not holding back. You craved anything he was willing to give. He caught you--hook line and sinker.

Chan took note of the way your breath hitched as his hand reached out to place a strand of your hair behind your ear. Your cheeks flushed as he slowly closed the distance. His hand now sneaking behind your head to hold you still as his lips press flush against yours. Once he felt you bring your body against his own, the desperation between you both became almost palpable. Chan's hand found its way to your waist to make sure there was no space left, while the one holding the back of your neck tightened around your roots. The tension caused some slight pain, causing you to moan against his kiss.

“Do you…” You attempted to catch your breath. Despite breaking away from the kiss, neither of you made a move to detach from one another. His grip on your waist tightened as he subtly tried to rub himself against you. Chan’s restraint was slowly dissipating at finally having contact with you after all this. “Do you want to come in?”

Chan groaned as he felt you press your pelvis even harder against him. All the teasing was thrown out the window. All he could think about was how long it had been without feeling your bare body against his. But he knew better. There was something he wanted more than just another night of passion.

He wanted you.

“No,” Chan shook his head before placing a small peck on your forehead. “I--I want to do this right.”

You were checking your phone every hour. You hated to admit just how much of a hold Chan had on you and yet here you were-- waiting at a bar entrance when he texted you in the middle of the night that he was finally free to meet up. It was a long week since your first date with Chan, who was immediately busy with album prep the very next morning. Being the sweet man he was, he promised to take you out for a drink to make up for it. Though he really didn't need too. You constantly teased him over the phone that you no longer wake up to your alarm, but to the sweet -cheesy- texts that he sends every morning. Or over the fact that he video calls you right before bed, his snores filling your room even when miles apart. A gentle reminder that he hasn't forgotten about you despite the conflicting schedules.

"Five minutes," the text on your phone read, "Felix and Jeongin decided to pop by to convince Bin and the others to join them for barbeque - be there soon!"

So immersed in trying to find the perfect gif as your reply back, you didn't notice the lone man who was smoking a cigarette, eyeing you. He slowly made his way over, and when you finally spotted him from the corner of your eye , you gave a small polite smile as he attempted to start conversation with you. You let him drunkenly flirt with you - again-just trying to be polite. And from the way he was holding the conversation he didn't seem to be a threat of any sort. So you laughed at his attempts to flirt, stumbling over himself constantly whenever he would meet your eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled as he scratched the back of his head , "I'm usually better at this."

"It's okay," you chuckle softly, "but I think it's best to let you know that I'm not looking for anything right now.”

"Ah," the man gave an embarrassed smile ,"should've known someone as pretty as you would have a boyfriend.”

It was an innocent comment, but it threw you off guard for a moment, and your thoughts were thrown into a silent chaos. Being in training for a majority of your life, it wasn't like you had full experiences in relationships. Some kisses and fun here and there, yes, but you never had the chance to dive into the world of dating. Chan and you only had one date, and he did say that he wanted to do this right-- did that constitute a relationship in his eyes? It did in yours, but was that enough to have his eyes not stray? To shoot down someone whenever they would come up to him and drunkenly try to shoot their shot?

A hand wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer to their side, stopped your thoughts from spiraling. Your head inclined to see that profile you had imprinted into your mind as he carried you down those steps without breaking a sweat. Despite the mask covering him you knew who it was-- however, that crinkle around his eyes was gone as Chan glared at the man you were speaking too. "She does," he growled uncharacteristically. A warning to the man as he claimed what was his. Chan didn't give the man a moment to respond as he looked down at you, his dark eyes finally shedding some light as his gaze locked with yours. "You ready to head in?"

Even though it was a question, Chan didn't allow you to answer as he guided you the opposite way down the sidewalk. Walking right past the bar he invited you out to. "Wait aren't we—”

“Changed my mind," Chan grumbled as he kept leading you down the sidewalk. “Too many drunk idiots. I know a place we can sit and eat. I'll buy you as many drinks as you want, or all the galbi you can eat? I know a joint that also makes really good jerky—”

When you paused in your tracks, some anxiety washed through Chan. Did he take it too far? He couldn't help it seeing someone trying to make their move on you—

“You called me your girlfriend,” a cheeky grin plastered on your face. Chan felt his checks heat up and he cleared his throat to turned to look away. His hand never leaving your waist.

"Technically, I just confirmed that you have a boyfriend."

Without missing a beat you stepped in front of Chan and lowered his mask to rest on his chin. You made sure to tuck his hoodie over his head to cover his face from prying eyes even though it was late at night and the streets were virtually empty. Chan gulped as you stared right at him. Not at the physical body standing in front of you—at him. "Say it," you breathed out. Chan had to steady his heart as you spoke. It wasn't a request, but a demand. Your hands staying on his hoodie as you waited for him to comply.

"You have a boyfriend," he gave a cheeky grin back as you groaned. Knowing exactly the words you wanted to hear, but decided to tease you just a bit.

"Chan—”

"You're my girlfriend.” Chan placed his hands back on your hips and absent-mindedly traced little circles just above the trim where your skin was slightly exposed. He suddenly felt nervous as he realized he was just staking a claim without talking to you about it. But the way you were almost begging to hear those words, let him know that you wanted this as much as he does. Yes, you only had one date. But the months leading up to that were the best months he had in a very long time. "And if you want, I'll be your boyfriend ..."

As you stayed quiet, he felt those damn nerves coming back up. He tried to gauge your reaction as you just stared at him, but got nothing. " What?" he joked to lighten the tension and his anxiety. "Want me to say that in Spanish to—”

Using the grip you had on his hoodie, you pulled his head down towards you and crashed your lips against his. His little squeak of surprise was muffled as your tongue grazed his bottom lip to ask for entrance. The circles he was tracing stopped immediately as he tightened his grip around you and pulled you closer. Deepening the kiss as much as he could without it being too inappropriate out in public.

You whispered against him as the two of you finally parted for air. "Let's get out of here."

Dinner was forgotten as Chan practically ran the two of you back to his dorm room. Your shirt was ripped off of you the moment he closed his bedroom door with his foot. Chan grinned wildly as you parted from his flushed lips to kiss his neck, trailing your little love bites more and more down south until you fully rested on your knees before him. Watching excitedly as your fingers made quick work of his confines and taking him into your mouth. As your eyes batted up at him, Chan let out a shaky breath and rested his head slightly against the wooden door. You couldn't contain your moans around his length as his fingers threaded your hair, gently guiding you to take him all the way to the back of your throat. Nose pressed to his pelvis.

"Look at you," Chan cooed as your eyes pooled tears from his intrusion, "all desperate from calling you mine."

Hearing you gag around his growing cock made his hips buck. Your hands found the back of his knees as he continued to rut into your filthy mouth. Your roots being slightly tugged as he tried to ground himself. The feeling of your tongue rolling around the underside of him while you suctioned in your cheeks to create a vacuum almost had him unraveling in you right then and there.

He pulled on your strands, your mouth leaving his erection with a wet 'plop', to have you standing upright before him. Your lips were parted as your chest heaved to take in deep breathes. Face flush and lips swollen he felt his cock twitch at your fucked out expression. You could've sworn you heard a growl escape him as he hoisted you up, your legs wrapping around him instinctively, lips crashing against yours and threw you on his bed. You discarded the rest of your clothes as Chan watched you, licking his lips. He could still taste himself from the residue on your lips. Ready to pounce and devour you, as if his eyes weren't already doing that enough.

"What?" Your teasing tone brought Chan out of his predatory gaze. He watched as your fingers trailed down to your core. Lightly grazing your folds, enticing him as you spread your arousal around. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Don't worry," Chan purred as he crawled onto the bed. His mouth hovering right above your mound, breath tickling your skin. "There's only one cat that has the pleasure of my tongue right now."

You gripped his sheets as soon as his tongue made contact with your bundle of nerves. Wasting no time to insert a finger to prep you. Not that you needed it, he moaned at the thought, you were already so wet. Just ready for him. All for him.

With another finger, he curled against your walls, setting the exact pace that he knew you loved. His palm keeping that delicious pressure against your clit as he moved his body up to catch a nipple between his teeth. Sucking onto it as if he was expecting something to come out of it. The thought had you reeling as your hand found his head. Holding him close against you as your hips ground against his fingers.

'I would love to go on a date with you'

'No, I want to do this right.'

'I wanted to make sure you're alright. '

Simple little sentences here and there. Words formed by the man that made you absolutely weak to your knees. Each one lead you to where you were right now—closing in on your orgasm with the most perfect man practically worshipping you.

"Chan," you whimpered, "Channie, need you in me."

Need to come around you.

The words you didn't say. But as Chan removed his lips from your breast and glanced up at you—he knew. Knew how much you craved something more than his digits to take you all the way. That you needed that stretch that only he could provide.

You squeaked as he ripped his fingers from your depths, grabbing your hips, and practically throwing you onto your stomach. He growled as you rested on all fours, arching your back and presenting yourself instantly, his teeth biting your cheeks and finally leaving those marks he desperately wanted to give you in the Inkigayo supply closet. The same growl that vibrated through him when he spoke to the man that flirted with you outside the bar earlier tonight.

Deep and guttural. Almost feral.

You almost came right then and there.

Chan and you hissed as he pressed his tip against your entrance. Chan's hand coming to the curve of your back and gently guiding you to bend a bit further for him. Your check rested on his mattress as he rubbed up and down your folds, coating himself with your arousal. "You gotta let me in," Chan teased as he experimentally pressed into you again. Still to no avail. All those weeks without one another made you lose the shape of him it seemed. Chan clicked his tongue and pressed a kiss on your spine. He didn't mind; it just meant he had to keep reminding your body. He'd gladly do so all night long if he had too.

You, on the other hand, we're starting to get frustrated. You needed him in you, it's been far too long without you wrapped around him. Your fingers, the toys you hid in your room, nothing compared to this. To him.

You pushed against him, mind too foggy to even care about the burn. Thoughts were wholly consumed of him. Chan moaned as he felt himself slightly press into you. "Careful,” he hissed as he grabbed your hips to stop you, "you're going to hurt yourself."

You turned to look over your shoulder. Your hair that was once pulled back for the date was coming undone. Strands were thrown around your face. Completely disheveled.

"Don't care."

Chan felt something in him snap. Those two words were all he needed to push himself entirely in you in one thrust. You practically screamed, and Chan was quick to wrap his hand around your mouth to muffle you. His hip never stopping their pace as he leaned down to groan in your ear; “If you don't keep it down, the kids will hear you."

By the time the two of you entered the shared dorm, the rest of his roommates had already returned from their time at the barbeque and were deep asleep in their rooms. Guess they decided against a big meal and went out for something quicker. So, you did your best to keep it down as much as you could. But by God, was that one of the most difficult things to do as Chan kept reaching the deepest part of you. Scratching that itch that you haven't been able to reach yourself for months.

Chan hoisted you up once he felt your walls adjust to him, hand still on your mouth as your back pressed flush to his chest. The other wrapping around you to rub messy circles against your clit. Your eyes rolled back as you felt your thighs spasm, pure unadulterated ecstasy coursing through your veins. Your mouth hung open as you panted heavily into his palm. The loud moans that escaped you were traded out with small whimpers. Silent little pleas for Chan to take you there.

His lips never left your skin. Kissing on your neck, jaw, ear—anything that he could latch onto so he could muffle his own noise. Only allowing the slaps of his thighs against yours to fill the room.

"Are you close?” Chan groaned in your ear. He could feel you clenching around him, closing in on your orgasm. "Where do you want it, stomach or behind?"

You shook your head at his question, whimpering against him. Neither of those is what you wanted. Him. You wanted him.

Chan felt his brow furrow slightly. This was a first. His hips slowed as the pieces of the puzzles came together. "Oh, oh?"

He withdrew entirely, earning a grumble of protest from you, and flipped you to lie on your back. He couldn't deny that he wanted it as well, and he'll be damned if he couldn't look you in the eyes as you felt his warm seed enter you for the first time. Chan's hand rested gently on your lower abdomen, kneading the skin underneath his fingertips. "Is this where you want it? Here?"

You didn't know it was possible but you could've sworn a mini orgasm washed through you as you heard him ask in Spanish. Chan chuckled quietly as he lined back up with you and gently pushed in until he was nice and snug in your warmth. Hand still on you, "I guess I can oblige. After all this is mine, right?"

"Yes, yes—” You instantly replied as he picked up his pace again. Chan's mouth finding yours in a messy kiss. The gentle touch of his palm turned into a pressure as he started to push down. No words could explain the obscene thoughts that went through his head as he felt himself move through you. He breathed in your moans that grew louder and louder with every thrust.

A crescendo as the waves of pleasure rolled higher and higher. Until it all came crashing down. Your hands found the back of his head, holding him close, as the surge flooded your mind, body, and soul with pure white hot ecstasy.

With the pressure of you holding him tight, on both ends, Chan found himself releasing deep inside you. Coating you with the very warmth you've yearning for months. Claiming everything he ever wanted.

As the ripples started to quell between the two of you, you and Chan finally parted for air. You couldn't help but give a teasing grind of your hips, earning a hiss from Chan as he pulled gently out of you before collapsing on the bed next to you face first.

"What are you doing?" You laughed as Chan just groaned in response.

“That was so good, I think I died.” His voice came muffled though his sheets. You propped yourself on your elbow on the bed before smacking your palm down on one of his cheeks. Your laughter roaring through the room as he squealed before turning on his side to find you looking down at him with that shit eating smirk. "Come here," he laughed before pulling you to lay on his chest.

Your head laid on his bare chest, listening in to his heart beat and the air that flowed in and out of his lungs. Chan's arm wrapped around you as one of your free hands traced idle circles along his collarbone, the other resting under his head in the afterglow. “Stay," he whispered so softly you barely heard him.

A plea for you to not leave him in the middle of the night like you used to before. "Of course,” you place a small kiss on his jaw before resting your eyes. Afterall, this wasn't a redezvous. This was something more. And for the rest of the night, Chan held you snug against him.

Chan only woke up when the sunlight flitted through his curtains. Groaning he turned to his side, arm stretched out in search for you. Only to be met with his sheets. His eyes flashed open and the dark brown orbs frantically scanned the room. His heart sank when he couldn't find your figure.

You promised.

Dawning some sweats, he made his way to the shared bathroom. Stopping in his tracks when a familiar giggle echoed through the dorm.

"Look who's finally awake," you smile. Chan took notice that you stole one of his hoodies and sweats as you, Jisung , and Changbin sat at the dinning room table. Hair up in a bun, completely tilted off to the side, as if you lived here your entire life. You belonged.

Images of his dream during his time in Paris flashed through his mind briefly.

You giggled as Chan walked around the table to wrap his arms around your shoulders and kiss your neck in greeting. Changbin and Jisung made gagging noises, but Chan just flipped them off before sliding a stool to sit next to you. "What are you guys talking about?"

He took note how your cheeks flushed and looked away from the table. Suddenly interested in the fruit bowl that sat on the kitchen island. Jisung made himself busy by clearing out the dirty plates and walking over to the sink. Deciding it wouldn’t be appropriate to have that kind of discussion with his elder. Changbin, however, was a stark contrast from the two of you. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh," Changbin said with a drawl, “nothing much."

"Just trying to see how we can sound proof your room so the rest of the dorm can sleep without any," Changbin casted a glance at you, “interruptions."

Author's Note: I want to say I apologize for how long this took me! Work, life, and everything in between has been dragging me down and I lost some inspiration during the time away. I want to thank everyone for their kind words for part 1. I do have an idea for part 3. However, I won't have a timeline of when it can be done, since work has been leaving me a bit more drained than I imagined and I'm usually a zombie by the time I get home. Hope you enjoyed it and so sorry it's so long

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[teaboot]

I spent a lot of time alone outdoors growing up.

A lot of time.

It got to the point that some days I'd be sitting in the back of my dull beige classroom, and on the outside I'd be staring out into nothing but on the inside I'd be remembering how it felt being barefoot and knee-deep in sun-warmed mud, cutting my palms and soles to bits against craggy rock, leaning into the wind and screaming into the ocean, sprinting through the woods and standing dead silent in the dark in a wheat field in a thunderstorm, and feeling grit under my nails and bone and wood and rock and metal in my hands

And I'd look around at my stupid, flimsy pressboard desk, and the beige walls, and the grey ceiling, and feel soft, stagnant air circulate through the vents in delicate, dainty little puffs against my cheeks, and listen to kids my age who I couldn't understand and didn't feel connected to talk about things that made my brain go numb and melt out my ears while some fake-smiley adult pretended they knew how I felt

While back home where my siblings didnt know me and my parents didn't like me the house would be dark, empty, and cold, day after day, and the only satisfaction I knew I'd get would be if someone twice my size and three times my age got in my face and fucking tried it,

And I'd think,

This isn't real.

This is designed, and this is weak.

This is cardboard façades with nothing inside, this is tissue paper, this is Styrofoam packing peanuts and puffed rice wafers and the bottom three millimeters of day-old room-temperature water

And I'd get so fucking angry, so frustrated, just so stone-cold livid, helpless and furious, that sometimes I'd start to cry, not because I was sad but because my teeth were soft and round and dull and my fingers felt like they were brand-new pink pearl erasers splitting in half and everything was too much and not enough and all I needed in the whole wild world was to shred the air to pieces for the crime of being too fucking empty, too fucking soft, not *real* enough, like a wild animal clawing into prey only to have puffy cotton candy and soap bubbles spill out, sweet and tasteless and saccharine where it should be hot, bright, loud and solid and sharp.

So when the English teacher- a tall, thin man with glasses who smelled like strong patchouli and liked to ask us to "talk about our feelings" asked me to write about my life, that was what I wrote.

He told me I had a "powerful gift" and smiled, flashing straight, dull, soft round teeth.

I remember he'd ask me every day if he could read my work aloud to the class, every single day, and every day I would say "no", until one afternoon he just took my paper off my desk and did it anyways.

I was a rule-follower. Never broke the rules, never stepped out of line. I would never just leave class in the middle of a lesson, so I guess for a moment I was someone else.

I don't remember hearing him start to speak, but I remember sprinting out the door, hearing it slam behind me, and just not stopping until I was somewhere outside with the grass and the sky and the sun and a ringing inside my head.

After a while, I went back, and by then I guess he'd finished talking.

I sat down at my desk and finished the lesson.

I thought I'd be in trouble or something after that, but nobody mentioned it.

After the bell, I went home to the dark, cold, empty house and waited for something to fight.

That was years ago. Decades, now.

To tell you the truth, though, I don't think anything has changed.