#when i was in middle and having absolutely horrible breakdowns

[raazberry]

vent sorry

[pillowmints4lloyd]

Now an AU where series Wu raises Lloyd.

Unlike my movie AU where Wu raises Lloyd(find here) Misako doesn't even explain in person to Wu like Koko did. She drops Lloyd at the monastery doors Harry Potter style with a note. Once again the note says not to tell Lloyd that Garmadon is his father.

Wu finds baby Lloyd, still in grief from banishing his own brother. He reads the note and proceeds to have a mental breakdown in the middle of the night with Lloyd babbling happily. He raises Lloyd anyway.

At first, Lloyd calls Wu uncle. But Lloyd at an early age, who has no idea who his mom or dad is, sees kids in the village with their parents, who have similar dynamics as he does with Wu. He comes to the conclusion that Wu's actually his dad when he's quite young. He calls Wu Dad and Wu panics.

He's like, WHAT no, I shouldn't let him call me that, he's Garmadon's son, but Lloyd is the only family member he currently has left with Garmadon gone and raising Lloyd reminds him of raising Morro. Plus, Misako ditched him too. So now Wu latches onto one of the only people he has left. Lloyd.

He let's Lloyd call him Dad, feeling both guilt and happiness. Lloyd grows up thinking he's Wu's son and known by others as Wu's son. While Wu calls and thinks of Lloyd as his son. It also leads to the ninja believing that Lloyd is their Sensei's son when they arrive a few years later.

OH HO HO BUT GARMADON EVENTUALLY BREAKS OUT AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. Garmadon absolutely rages when he sees Lloyd call Wu Dad, 'BECAUSE MY BROTHER STOLE MY CHILD!!!' Wu feels horribly guilty and tries to explain while Lloyd is having an existential crisis because 'WTF MY DAD IS MY UNCLE??'

This au summed up is basically instead of Wu rizzing Misako with Garmadon out of the picture, it's raising Lloyd instead.

[k0zumine]

KENMA KOZUME X T. KUROO’S SISTER! READER

BAD GRADES

CW: slight angst to fluff, lack of eating?

You were already let out 7 minutes late from your class as your teacher had pulled you aside at the end of the lesson to discuss your grade. Yeah, you failed.

Your jaw clenched as your teacher expressed his disappointment in your grade and how he expected better from you questioning what happened for you to get such a low grade all of a sudden. He even went so far as to question if anything was going on at home like it was any of his business.

After a long 7 minutes of him questioning you whilst you tried your absolute hardest to hold in your tears, he finally let you go. Well if that didn’t just ruin your mood.

Releasing a shaky breath you swiftly make your way to the bathroom finally letting us the tears you were holding in. The truth is you studied all week for this test. It even led to staying up all night because of how stressed you were, your brother Tetsuro often coming in to check if you were okay placing a small snack at your table whilst you were buried in your books.“Y/n I think you should take a break”

“Tetsu shut the fuck up I’m trying to study but I can’t if you’re here chewing my ear off” you hissed back hands pressed to your forehead trying to process the information you had written down, in response he slammed your door. Yeah okay, it was a horrible response to a brother who was trying to care about your wellbeing but he should know better than to interrupt your studies.

Looking back at how much studying you did you should have passed. More tears streamed down your face from the frustration, now you’d have to work twice as hard to get back on track. Fuck. As if life isn’t stressful enough.

Sniffling into a tissue from the roll of toilet paper you’d ripped you calmed yourself down taking deep breaths, great now your eyes were red and puffy. You knew as soon as you got home you’d bury yourself into your textbooks and study extra hard, the talk your teacher gave really brought down your confidence as well as your mood.

*ping*

Brother: where tf are you? we always walk home together w kenma on this day

Just the person you didn’t want to speak to, your brother, you weren’t in the mood for his teasing today. You mentally cursed forgetting about one of the few days that you walked home with Tetsuro and your boyfriend Kenma.

You were in the same year as Kenma but unfortunately only had two classes together it sucked, it was only in the middle of your first year that you guys started dating. Tetsuro and Kenma had been best friends for as long as you can remember and along the way you’d gotten closer with the boy which then led to you becoming boyfriend and girlfriend.

you: sorry

you: go off without me

Brother: hahha no. you think Kenma would allow you to walk home alone? neither would I

you: I literally walk home alone when you guys are at volleyball practice…

Brother: just hurry up

you: no i’ll be a while just go bye.

[seen]

You sighed bringing out makeup wipes to fix the mascara stained down your cheeks mentally noting to wear waterproof mascara next time. Finally after another 5 minutes of calming yourself from the breakdown your eyes still were still red and puffy but you decided it would be best to walk home now.

As exiting the school grounds you pulled the hood up of the hoodie you borrowed off Kenma that was under your blazer praying nobody saw you as you connected your airpods disconnecting from the outside world.

“y/n!! why did it take you almost 20 minutes to leave school?” Testuro shouted, your jaw clenched. Why did they wait?!

Avoiding his gaze by staring at the cracks in the floor you walked past him ignoring his presence, if you’d engaged in a conversation with your brother right now you’d snap and say some hurtful things you didn’t mean as currently your head wasn’t in the right mindset.

“Hey missy I was talking to you” Getting in front of you but you walked around him. “What’s your problem?!” Grabbing your arm and turning you around, you tried wiggling out of his grip but he was too strong. “Get off” you mumbled attempting to pull his hand away.

“Not until you tell us why you’re acting like that” God he sounded like a parent scolding their child.

“Like what? I’m fine” you hissed back refraining from saying more.

“First of all you’re not even looking me in the eye, I can’t even see your eyes, secondly you ignored Kenma and I”

“L-leave me alone testuro” Your voice cracked, yeah you fucked that up well done!!

“What you get in trouble with your teacher or something?” He smirked, your jaw clenched even tighter.

“Tetsuro seriously fuck off you’re so fucking annoying!” you shouted sniffling a little and catching him off guard, the grip on your arm loosening giving you an escape route walking away slightly quicker than usual.

Kuroo stood there slightly taken back at your hurtful words, Kenma the same as he’d rarely see you act like this, especially to your brother who you claimed you loved dearly. He sighed seeing the hurtful expression on his best friend's face “I’ll talk to her, there must be a reason why she’s acting this way, you know she’d never mean that” reassuring the boy who’d just had his heart shattered in a matter of seconds. “yeah…okay” he mumbled hands in his pockets keeping a large distance from his sister.

Kenma jogs up to you “y/n love”, you keep walking your head down holding in your tears. Kenma is now in front of you gently holding both your wrists stopping you from moving, “…are you okay?” his voice was full of concern but was met with no reply. “Hey I can’t help you if you’re not replying, please look at me in the eyes” pulling the hood of the hoodie you were wearing down and gently lifting your head up to be met with your red puffy eyes on the edge of crying. “what’s wrong baby?? please what's wrong, I love you so much” he pleaded his face looking distressed which caused tears to fall down your face as you began crying. “Ken I wanna go home…please” you sniffled as he wiped the tears off your face. Cupping your cheeks he brought your face closer placing a kiss on your forehead “Okay we’ll go back to your house and you can tell me what’s wrong kay?” interlocking his fingers with yours.

Kenma turned back to see Kuroo urging him to explain what was wrong with you but was met with a shrug of Kenma's shoulders, Kuroo sighed as he walked behind the couple.

As you all finally got back to your house you rushed to your room letting go of your hold on Kenma. “Hey! Wai-“ Kenma called but you had already shut your door. “Did she tell you anything?” Kuroo asked him. “No..but she was crying her eyes really red and puffy, I’ll go talk to her now”

Kenma slowly opens your door to see you sitting at your desk deeply buried in your books, he takes a seat on your bed watching what you’re doing “y/n”.

“Hm?” You replied not taking your eyes off what you were doing. “Come to bed and talk to me please” He sighed patting the bed.

“I’m busy studying Ken” you mumbled rubbing your already red eyes, “I’m sure you can take a 10-minute break plus I doubt any of that information is even going to your head right now you know…since you were crying before”

“Ken just leave me alone you’re really starting to piss me off” You hissed gripping the pen tightly.

“Yeah no that’s not gonna happen especially when you’re acting like this” He rolled his eyes standing up and walking closer to you “I’m fine!”.

“You have tears in your eyes and you’re telling me you’re fine?” A face of concern spread across his face and gently tugged your wrist and guided you to the bed, you gave in sniffling as more tears came out lying down on your bed. Kenma joined in after you then pulled your head towards his chest and you wrapped your arms around his waist crying even more “I-I’m sorry Ken I didn’t mean to say that”.

“Shh it’s okay I know you didn’t mean it, now will you please tell me why you were crying?” He pleaded running his fingers through your hair to calm you down. That’s when you explained to him the events that occurred after school. “Is that why you were hardly answering my messages this week?” He asked, you rolled your eyes.

“I’m gonna go grab you a snack kay? Stay in bed please” Pressing a kiss on your forehead as he went to the kitchen where he was met with his best friend.

“So did she tell you?” Kuroo asked, that’s when Kenma relayed everything you told him to your older brother. Kuroo sighed “She’s been overworking herself too much on this test, I come into her room and she’s constantly studying hell she’s barely eaten anything these past few days!”

Kenma runs his fingers through his hair “I’ll make her some toast, are you making dinner soon?” Kuroo nodded whilst Kenma popped two slices of toast in the toaster.

“Hey love-“ Kenma entered your room when he saw you sitting on your bed looking through your notes…again. Kenma rushes to place the plate of toast on your bedside table and moves all your work away from you. “Yeah no more studying today, Kuroo told me you’ve been overworking yourself, that's probably why you didn’t get a good grade” Kenma sighed.

“Ken please” You pleaded reaching to grab your work when Kenma gently grabbed your wrist preventing you from doing so, he sat beside you on the bed. “He also told me you’ve barely eaten so I’ve made you some toast whilst dinners being made” Placing the plate on your lap. “thanks..” you mutter taking small bites of the toast.

“y/n take some bigger bites please?” he pleaded caressing your cheeks with encouragement. After a few more minutes you’d finished your slice of toast whilst Kenma reassured you that it was going to be okay muttering sweet words in your ear.

“Do you think you can apologise to your brother now? He was quite upset earlier” Kenma asked now playing with your hair.

“For what?- Oh yeah…that” You frown leaning into his touch. “It’s okay I’m sure he’ll understand if you apologise to him..he was really worried about you” He sighs letting go of you and getting off the bed. Kenma gently grabs your hand and leads you off the bed and to the kitchen where Tetsuro was busy making dinner.

He softly pushes you towards the kitchen and walks back into your room giving the two siblings some privacy.

“Tetsu?” You softly called to your brother, he looked up for a second and looked back down at the food he was making he hummed waiting for you to continue.

“Listen..I’m sorry for before and for being a bitch this whole week..I just really needed a good grade and I was stressed” You explain sighing, Testuro looks up and stops what he’s doing.

“It’s fine sorry for teasing you before I should have known better…are we okay now?” He replied opening his arms out for a hug which you happily accepted.

“How was it?” Kenma asked as you walked into your room to find him lying on your bed playing on your game's console.

“Fine..thank you” You said joining him on the bed and watching him play the game. One arm made its way around your waist and back to the controller as you leaned into his side.

“I love you”

[digital-domain]

Escape - Part 2 to Per This Agreement

Alastor x Reader // word count 3.2k

In which your worst fear returns, and nothing about it (about him) is as you remembered

Tags/Warnings: noncon, blowjob, come swallowing, mention of substance use, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms™️, Alastor poorly suppressing a mental breakdown, not a good ending for either party, angst with a side of smut

A/N: I see this happening before/during whatever the fuck happened seven years ago. Is it canon compliant? Only time will tell.

As always - 18+, read the tags, if you don’t like the tags then don’t go below the cut (or into my inbox). Thank you and enjoy.

It’s been almost a year. That all-consuming paranoia that haunted you in the aftermath still lingers. But it’s not as sharp as it once was. It even disappears sometimes, when you keep yourself busy, when you give yourself other things to think about (there are other ways to tune it out as well, but they don’t last, and leave you more of a wreck than you started). So you stay moving. Stay distracted. And the results? You have a job, a dingy apartment, a scattered collection of hobbies, and people who you might consider friends if you weren’t scared of bringing them in close. It’s enough to keep the worst of your thoughts at bay. Enough to keep you sane.

And yet, you know that he is coming back. He made it clear, on that horrible day, that your existence is not your own. That you will see him again. You’ve pictured this reunion many times - it pops into your head, unwanted, at the worst possible moments. When you’re alone, when it’s dark, when you’re trying to sleep. Even after you fall asleep. Some of your nightmares are so vivid that you swear you can feel that chain around your neck, even once you wake up gasping for air. Sometimes, after a string of bad nights, staying busy isn’t enough, and you look for other ways out. If you drink enough, you don’t dream. And of course, you don’t dream if you don’t sleep and all.

You slept well last night, though. It’s been weeks since the last broadcast, and for once, your sleeping mind has given you a reprieve from its horrors. The day was good, too. Full of the pleasant boringness of everyday existence, the empty chatter that almost makes you feel at peace. You went to work, and did not jump at any unexplained noises. You ate your lunch, and did not feel the urge to vomit at any point after. You walked home, and did not stop to buy the sort of poison that would help you forget. You turned corners, and did not fear what you might see when you did. You ascended the stairs of your apartment building, and unlocked your door, and thought of nothing but mundane things the entire time. It was an uneventful day.

It was too good to last. 

You step into your apartment, and immediately, something feels wrong. You can’t place it. There are no flickering lights, no ominous shadows on the wall, no faint, distorted voices echoing from places you can’t see. And yet, the feeling remains. You proceed cautiously through your home, and slowly open the door of your bedroom. Step inside.

And freeze. 

Alastor is standing motionless in the middle of the room, like he’s been staring at your door for hours, waiting for you to emerge. 

Running would be so pointless that it doesn’t even occur to you. In fact, absolutely nothing occurs to you for some time. For you to have any thoughts, you’d first have to admit that this was real.

His eyes register your appearance, but he doesn’t move or speak. Not yet. Your mind slows down - or perhaps time slows down, to give you a chance to see, to understand anything beyond your initial horror. And you realize, after your thoughts finally catch up with your eyes, that nothing is as you remembered. 

He looks different. He is different, in every conceivable way.

You remember him standing straight. Even when he bent down, his spine was rigid. Now, he is folded in on himself, like a marionette with half its strings cut. His chest visibly rises and falls. His ears are pressed back against his head. His hair is frayed at the ends, individual strands escaping his control, pressing out in every direction. He is still grinning, but it’s not cruel, or confident. In fact, it looks like it might slip off at any moment. And his eyes…

They’re wide. Expressive, a far cry from the sadistic calculation that had burned in them a year ago. In all the times you imagined this moment, you never imagined him like this. You don’t think you could have conjured such a desperate expression in your imagination, even if you’d tried. Something is wrong, and not in the way you expected.

Even the place where he’s standing is wrong. In your nightmares, he always appeared over your bed when you were sleeping, or materialized in your desk chair, his boots kicked up at the corner, a menacing grin pasted to his face. And he always had something to say. But here, in what is unfortunately your real, waking life, his silence stretches on, until it’s too much for you to bear.

“What do you want?” You hate the way these words curdle in your mouth, fall thickly from your tongue. You shouldn’t have to ask. In your dreams, he was always very clear about what he wanted. Revenge for your insolence, in one way or another. On the good nights, your soul is ripped at its seams, and you scream for all of hell to hear. On the bad nights, you’re torn apart in a different way, and no one hears you except for him.

He doesn’t answer you. Not immediately. Just inhales deeply, presses his clenched fists to his side. For no reason that you can think of, you take a step forward - the door slams shut behind you, and you hear the click of a key in the lock. You don’t bother turning around, or checking your pockets for your own key. Somehow, you already know that they’ll be empty. 

One of his hands rises into the space between you. His fist falls open, palm raised to the ceiling. It curls shut. 

This is exactly as you remember.

It plays out like your nightmares, in perfect detail. The golden chain unfurls, you take one last free breath before the collar snaps tight around your neck, and you lock eyes with him as your face falls. But you don’t struggle, this time. And he doesn’t move more than he has to. He drops his gaze, stares down the length of the chain, holds its end limply in his loose fist. 

It shakes and bends, capturing the small spasms of his hand. “I didn’t think”-

Your breath catches in your throat, at the same moment he cuts himself off. He sounds different. There is no filter over his voice, nothing for it to hide behind. 

“I didn’t think I’d ever”- Again, he stops. He seems to become aware that he’s speaking only once the words have left his mouth. “A year ago…I didn’t intend on following through”-

You wait. He’s not drawing this out on purpose. You almost wish that he was. That would make sense. Taunts would make sense. Arrogance, deceit - those would make sense. This does not make sense. This is not real.

He starts again, and this time, it sticks. “I’m suffering in ways that you couldn’t even fathom.” His eyes, dull, burned-out red craters, leave you no room to question him, although at this moment, you don’t think any kind of suffering is out of reach for you. “There’s a reason the airwaves have been so quiet for the past few weeks. This… thing that’s hanging over me…” His eyes narrow, fingertips scratch against his covered palm. “It’s stripping the pleasure out of everything.” Finally, he looks at you. Seeing your face seems to strengthen his resolve - he grips the slack of the chain, slowly wraps it around his hand. “And I’m sure you know…despair makes us resort to strange things, just to feel alive.”

You do know. And you want to scream that you know because of him. But for many reasons, your mouth stays shut. He already knows everything that you’re thinking. Everything you fear. He’s thinking about it, too.

“I can’t escape. But I can forget, if only for a moment. And I suppose that’s a form of escape in itself.” He tilts his head. “Isn’t it?” His gaze is fixed on the chain link protruding from his fist. Some battle rages in his head, with no sign of abating. 

The doorknob is close to your hand. So close that you’re beginning to think that fleeing is an option for you, after all. The Alastor you saw in your nightmares would never have permitted it - but he has little in common with the man standing before you. You eye the golden links flowing out from his hand. If you pull hard enough to make him let go, will the whole thing disappear? You don’t think it would take much to catch him off guard. Not in his current state.

Your stomach drops as his eyes flick upwards, catch you in the act.

“Oh…” To your horror, his ears perk up, eyes narrow in an all-too-familiar way. “No. I’m not that far gone.”

You stop, and wish you could force yourself to keep moving, just enough to cover your ears. The static is back in his voice, biting into you. You think he’s angry, like he was the time before. Or at the very least, he wants to be angry. 

Your mind escapes of its own accord. You see yourself, almost a year ago, in the wake of your terrible mistake. Wiping your tears away, dressing in the finest clothes you owned, marching into the street. Buying two things at a nearby secondhand shop: a radio, abandoned and cheap because it refused to turn off, and a baseball bat. It was a stupid idea, one that sucked up your money and left you sitting on your kitchen floor in a sea of broken metal parts, feeling even more hopeless than you did before.

But it felt good, while it lasted. Better than you’d felt in a long time. It gave you something to do with your misery, other than let it tear you apart. And for a few seconds of blissful destruction, your mind went entirely quiet. 

His voice drags you back to the present. “Even if you did manage to get as far as that doorknob,” he spits, “it would still be locked. I’m afraid that you’re trapped.” His grin stretches at the corners, and he bitterly laughs at some joke that you truly don’t understand. “We have that in common. But at least I still have a few places left to run.”

You don’t say a thing. Only let your hand fall from its upwards climb, back to the outside of your thigh. Limp.

“So few that I ran to you.” His lip twitches in something like disgust - whether at you, or at himself, you’re not sure. It stills quickly, and the mask of his smile hardens on his face. “Pitiful. But I can’t say that I regret it just yet. And perhaps I never will.” He clenches his fist tight around the ethereal chain, and for the first time since you set foot in your room, his eyes are alight, glowing exactly how you remember. “I certainly can’t turn back.”

Maybe this, the return of what you knew, is the only part that is real. Or maybe it’s the only part that isn’t. It goes on, either way.

A sudden tension on the chain pulls you forward, until you’re sprawled on the floor with only a vague understanding of how you got there. You look up, and see a gloved hand tugging sharply upwards. You scramble to your knees, because fighting with the metal band around your neck will result in you hideously gasping for breath until you surrender. You try to look away. To your surprise, he lets you, but you find your gaze returning to him before long. There’s no escape. He made that clear a long time ago. He can quell any struggle that you attempt, so it’s better not to struggle at all.

No way out…and yet, there is a hesitance in the way his hand leaves your face, a clumsiness in the way it falls at his waist. One last spark of uncertainty. It’s gone, after a moment - he clutches your chain harder, and quickly undoes his trousers, pulls everything down just enough to let his cock spring free. He looks at you in the moment that your stomach knots in anticipation, in the moment your face betrays your rage at being dragged down to this place. He sighs in delight, at that. But he closes his eyes as he urges you forward, as you let your tongue fall from your mouth, as you drag it up his length and close your mouth over the tip of his cock. He inhales sharply, but makes no other sound. His mouth has fallen open, revealing the sharp ends of his teeth. You wrap your hand around his shaft, meet it with your lips, stroke in time with the movement of your mouth, try to ignore the sound of his breath. You don’t know what he wants, what he likes - you’re not sure if he knows, either. All you can do is keep going, and pray that it will be over soon. Your eyes are closed. His breathing is louder than it was a moment before.

You’re not sure what, exactly, shifts. All you know is that suddenly, his hand is on the back of your head, nails sharp even through his gloves, curling through your hair and pressing into your scalp. His eyes have snapped open. They bore into you as he forces himself into your throat, as he makes you gag and sputter until you’re fighting against his hand, against the chain that pulls you tight to the base of his cock. You can’t breathe. Drool trails from the sides of your mouth, drips to the floor - and he holds you there, exhales raggedly as your struggles become increasingly desperate, until give out entirely.

There’s the clink of chain unwinding from his hand, and then the relief of being yanked back, of taking a deep breath - only for your stomach to drop again as he raises your face. You’re not sure when you started crying, but the tears are there, and he sees every one of them. Lifts a finger to wipe the freshest one away. 

His eyes are wide and shining and dark. Edging on black, the same color as the ill-fitting shadow that pulses out from behind him. He tugs at your chain, and his voice hisses out from the gap between his teeth, a low, ravenous command. “Smile.”

His finger pulls at the corner of your mouth, but you’re already obeying, pulling your lips back to show your teeth, arranging the drool-stained lower half of your face into exactly what he wants to see. His hand twitches. The shadow on the wall lets its mouth fall open. Then, his grip clamps down on your jaw, erasing your grin and forcing your lips open. He shoves into your mouth, thrusts relentlessly until all you have room for in your head is the clink of the chain by your ear, the pressure of his hand on the back of your head, and the taste of his cock on your tongue. The chain tightens, he holds you tight as you choke, his hand stiffens on your scalp - 

He gasps out an oath under his breath. His body shudders, convulses. His cock pulses into you, and his come releases into your throat, so deep that you don’t taste it. You don’t think about it. You prepare to fight for breath, once again, to be held cruelly and tightly until saliva pools in your mouth and spills from your lips. 

But you don’t have to. The moment after it happens, he’s already stepping away. Pulling in on himself, in a perfect mirror of the way you crumple to the floor beneath him. Another oath falls softly on your ears, this one the opposite of pleasure, panicked and accompanied by a different sort of shudder.

The chain disappears. You swallow hard. And with your spine curled in, with your forearms pressed to your thighs, you watch him. He dresses himself quickly, erratically, fumbling over the fasteners before stumbling back to fall onto your bed. To ruin it with the weight of his body, the curl of his fingers on your blanket. 

His breathing, unlike yours, doesn’t even out as the seconds tick by. It catches, releases, sputters. And finally, it becomes so perfectly slow and measured that you know, beyond a doubt, each inhale and exhale is a conscious act. He’s dazed, eyes lidded, his grin faint compared to moments ago. You get the odd impression that you shouldn’t be seeing him like this - that no one should.

“My mind went quiet, for a moment…” Again, he’s not really speaking to you. The static in his voice is gone. And that look on his face, the deadened eyes, the panic only betrayed in the jittering of his hands, has sprung back into place. “It wasn’t worth it.”

“No.” You’re not sure if you say it out loud, and you don’t care. Your mind detaches from your body, floats to the highest shelf in your cramped kitchen, the half-empty bottle of liquor that stands bitter and alone against the peeling paint of your wall. It’s never worth it. And yet, you know that it will be empty, before long.

He looks away from you. “There was a time…a time when I had rules...control…” 

There was a time when you had control, too. It ended when you met him, and it won’t come back. 

“Your soul…” His chest rises. Falls. Heavy. And slowly, shaking, he pulls his hands up from your bed. In one, he rests his face, the attached arm pulled close to his body, elbow pressed down into his thigh. The other hand unfurls in the empty air beside his head. From it emits a soft green light. “Have it.” The light streams towards you, connecting your body with the tips of his fingers, enveloping you with such intensity that you have to close your eyes. You gasp as it seems to pierce your heart, sending a jolt vibrating through your ribcage as it’s sucked into you, until the green glow on the other side of your eyelids has disappeared, and a strange warmth radiates inside you.

He’s let you go. You feel it, know it - but the relief does not come.

You open your eyes. He stands, turns away. Ears pushed back, fists clenched, spine rounded, moments from giving out entirely. And this is the last you see of him. He does not leave by the door. Instead, his image melts away, melds with the remnants of his shadow and retreats into some dark corner, out through whatever crevice he manages to find. 

Away from you. Away from the unswept bedroom floor that you’re curled upon, away from your eyes, which have become every bit as hollow as his own. You hate yourself for wondering what happened to him. But you hate yourself more for wondering if he’ll ever come back. Wondering what version of him you’ll see, if he does. ***

The broadcasts do not return. Not in weeks, not in months, not in years to come. But you never really stop wondering. Only pause. Only live, and escape the best you can for as long as you can manage. After enough time has gone by, you can barely make out his face in your dreams - but you always know it’s him. And they never go away.

[viviandroidcardigan]

Absolutely massive (4k+) outline of a fic I'll never write! Extra clunky bc it used to be a twtr thread.

YS/HJ/SH omegaverse

tw: sa, pregnancy

YS, HJ and SH established omega trouple who are very much childfree. For HJ it's mostly about prioritizing his career, YS is still trying to establish boundaries with his very proper, very conservative family and figure out what he wants outside of what he was constantly pushed into before he snapped and left and SH carries a lot of trauma from his own miserable upbringing (single teenage mother, thrown out by her parents for getting him out of wedlock became abusive and neglectful and eventually died leaving him with very strict and spiteful grandparents that he went no contact with as soon as he could) and he is determined to break the generational trauma by never becoming a parent.

The three of them have been together for almost a year and have a very stable and loving dynamic. 

Until one day YS goes to visit his family to their rural town, who insisted he must be present on some stupid family function despite him being in the middle of a work deadline and in pre-heat. And it went for longer than expected but he was hopeful about catching the last train back to the city and tried crossing the fields to get to the station on time and just like that some random alpha in a rut caught and assaulted him. 

YS didn't catch the train. He woke up in the field at sunrise, barely remembering the night before bc apparently the rut of his rapist triggered his heat to start on early but now it was all gone and he never had it gone so quickly so it only added to his confusion and dread and he just wanted to get home so that's what he did, suddenly very happy that he kept postponing moving in with HJ and SH bc the work commute was too far from their place. YS got home and finally had his

little breakdown in the shower. He didn't know what to do, he didn't even see the attacker enough to identify him and also he knew well enough that omega in heat had very little success in pressing charges. And his family would make such a mess of everything and would tell him it

was his fault for even going out alone at night. He couldn't fathom how to tell his partners either. 

And he did have a work deadline so for the next week or so he buried himself in work very carefully not thinking about anything until he had a horrible idea and sure enough, his test was positive. YS had a larger breakdown bc he was slowly psyching himself up to telling HJ and SH about everything but now he would have to admit to this as well and to his absolute dismay he realized that he couldn't bring himself to get rid of it. He abhorred the notion that his omega instincts will kick in one day as his parents kept telling him but apparently it was exactly the case.

But now he really couldn't tell HJ and SH. They were very clear on their position but also he hated the idea that if he told them everything they might force themselves for his sake and

he couldn't take their choice from them like it was already taken from him.

YS arranged a dinner, as they were messaging him non-stop, the work deadline cope out going only so far to postpone the inevitable and they could immediately tell that something was wrong. 

So YS just straight up asked them about their thoughts on having children and if those changed at all. HJ shrugged bc not really but also it wasn't a hard no for him. Maybe some time, years down the line, when he is better established in the industry, bc if he ever were to have kids, he'd want to be present and not constantly away in the studio. SH shook his head with a serious expression, hasn't changed: no, never. YS sighed and was like, I think it's a goodbye then. I love you but it's something I'm planing to pursue soon so....

They are hurt and confused and ask if his family got into his head while he was visiting but YS is barely holding on as is, he can't really talk anymore. He hoped that there was a way to keep them and the child both but now he knows how foolish that idea was. They keep asking him questions but he is far far away and eventually they stop and they go to their respective homes and at least he didn't move in.

HJ and SH keep messaging him but YS is self-isolating and grieving the relationship. He doesn't think he can manage to stay friends with them, a constant reminder of what he have lost. He can't really tell his family either, sure that they will either force him to abort or worse. He has a recurring nightmare that he resorts to asking for help and his family marries him off to a local alpha who is his rapist but there is no way for him to know for sure and he is forever trapped wondering and not knowing if he is succumbing to insanity or it's a reality that he cannot escape.

There are also worries about the future as his research makes him realize just how dire the situation is for single omega parents in their conservative society. He either has to pay for everything out of pocket which is A LOT or apply for governmental aid but then lose his job bc he has just decent enough income to make him not eligible. But entering the benefits program he will have "single omega parent" on his file forever that is almost sure to guaranty he never gets hired again for any serious job as a "promiscuous omega". Not to mention all the medical things he had no clue about but now has to go through.

For the first month he barely manages to get out of bed at all, spiraling into a depression visible enough that his boss allows him to start working from home. And YS feels so bad about using that kindness to hide the reality of his situation but what other choice he has. Especially when morning sickness kicks in HARD.

YS goes to all his medical exams and works overtime and compartmentalizes so hard he is barely conscious at all as time both crawls and flies.

And then just past the third month his manager request an old project from him, something he always knew will come in handy so he had it saved on a flash drive he cannot find. Until he remembers HJ using it to transfer some work files to home computer and figures out where it is.

YS comes in the middle of the day, when no one should be home and hopes they didn't change the code (they didn't) but just as he locates the drive, sleep-rumpled HJ comes out of the bedroom. They stare at each other until YS blurts out "why are you here?" "Launch party ran late". 

YS figures out that HJ finished the project he was working so hard on when they broke up and something that he looked SO much forward to, as he loved HJ's music but didn't allow himself to listen to it all this time in hopes to get over him quicker. It really didn't work at all.

HJ looks at him guarded and before he asks, YS explains that he needed the flash drive for work and apologizes for coming without a notice. HJ asks why he stopped answering their messages. "I though, we were at least friends". And YS knows he has to leave bc he always knew he was hurting them but he cannot face it rn when he is barely holding on. 

But HJ waves his mumbling attempts at answer and says they have a box of all his stuff that he left behind. It's a pretty big box, he left his whole life behind here. But as he stands up, HJ looks him over and sees the small but noticeable bump he already has. HJ notes bitterly "you moved on fast, huh. Well, congratulations." And YS doesn't know what to say but something must be on his face bc HJ looks away and apologizes, fiddling with his sleeves, says he is hangover from the party.

YS wants to congratulate him on the release as well but he really can't do this anymore so he goes to grab the box but HJ is like woah-woah, what do you think you are doing, it's very heavy! YS just shrugs and says he will get it to the elevator and call a taxi. But HJ frowns at him and says he will get it down but he knows that YS lives on a third floor of a house without an elevator. HJ is like can your... ugh, partner, pick it up for you. And YS is thrown by this conversation enough to say the truth: no. 

HJ frowns harder, what kind of a shitty alpha lets his pregnant omega lift heavy things, even if he is working or whatever, that's not ok, he should be able to come and help. And as YS cannot find a response to that HJ insists that he will get their car and drive him home and get the box to his place. YS tries to argue but there is no point when HJ already decided everything.

They get in the car and now HJ is worried about him enough to get over his bitterness and unexpected jealousy and starts pestering him with questions and YS just gives up and says there is no partner in the picture at all.

That gets HJ even more worried and riled up. Wtf? He got omega pregnant and dipped?? YS is probably heartbroken! He must have been SO in love to break it of with them so abruptly and change his whole stance on kids just for the guy to leave him?? Any hurt HJ was still harboring

gets totally overflown with indignation. Who DARED to leave YS and in that position too? It also dawns on him that YS was probably going no contact bc of all this mess, bc of the embarrassment.So now HJ is determined to mend their friendship. He still cares and SH does too.

They will do all in their power to support YS on this path. YS makes a weak attempt to refuse the offer but really, he is at the end of his rope as well and it doesn't take too much to cave in and accept it. Especially when SH calls him later to assure that he is very much on the

same page with HJ and he can and should lean on them. That's what friends are for. And it brings YS a lot of relief but also opens all the wounds that really didn't heal at all. He misses them and loves them and needs them but now he must be satisfied with their friendship.

HJ and SH come back into his life with vengence. SH immediately proceeds to deep-clean YS' apartment, something that he really couldn't muster the energy to do for... a while. HJ volunteers to drive him to all the doctor appointments even when YS insists that it's entirely fine.

But it does make a difference not even comfortable transportation wise but just having someone there, waiting for him in the car. Hospitals are weird. No one is straight up mean to him but as he did tell the doctors everything he feels like they are treating him like a child.

He has to keep rejecting suggestions that he should bring his parents along. They don't explain him stuff either because when HJ starts pestering him about this or that factoid he read about online, YS is lost on most of them. His first trimester was him moving on autopilot. It turns out that he really needed someone caring around bc YS can finally feel himself unfreezing a bit. But with that comes the onslaught of feelings.

Yes, SH and HJ are there for him but they don't have the time to visit more than couple days a week and also inevitably leave.

They hug him hello but obviously never kiss and one time SH does peck his cheek lulled by familiarity he apologizes for "overstepping". They have new inside jokes he doesn't understand. YS is thrown from elation of their presence to devastation of their loss even more sharp when

they are right there, close enough to touch.

For the first time he starts doubting his decision. Is it really worth it, some random baby against his entire life? He could have had it. Maybe he still can. If it was just out of the picture. He still cannot contemplate abortion but In his darkest moments, silently sobbing into his pillow in his empty apartment, he thinks... maybe if he miscarried. Would it be so bad? They say that unbonded omega, with no alpha pheromones around, with a traumatic conception, he is in a slightly higher risk group. So maybe…

Until one night he wakes up in a puddle of blood and SCREAMS in horror. His whole ride in the ambulance that HJ called him, bc YS was only able to call him, he keeps saying he didn't mean it. He doesn't want the baby gone! He didn't mean it! Please!

HJ and SH still in their pj's run in just as the doctor finishes explaining to him that everything is fine, things like this can happen and he just should go double on his vitamins and come more often for check ups and avoid stress and they will let him go after getting an IV. YS is relieved but still very shaky so he dives into a hug HJ and SH envelop him in, murmuring comforting things and rubbing his back. 

In retrospect he understands the kind of a picture they make and can hardly blame the nurse who comes in with an IV. She is an older alpha that always fusses over him. And YS is too out of it to participate in a conversation when she asks how long they know him and SH says that's it's been almost two years. The nurse looks surprised and then delighted as she says"I know it's not my business and some ppl are weird about relationships between omegas, but I'm so happy to know he has you! You can't imagine how many partners leave the omega who got pregnant from a rap3, as if it's their fault. You are great for staying and you can come with him for the check ups, we are quite progressive here!"

She leaves and YS is completely rigid not able to breathe, with his face still smushed into SH shoulder. Hj makes a raw wounded sound but SH only hugs YS tighter and says "Not now. We will talk about this later."And YS hopes that later means never but he is off the hook for now so he just clings on. 

HJ and SH take YS to their place after that and he is so grateful that they are not asking more questions so he goes along with them and let's them push him into a shower and into the softest pj's and into their bed where he just drifts off right away.

Next morning YS wakes up and even though he is dreading the conversation, it was also the best sleep he had in months, surrounded by their scents, so if there was ever a time he

was even halfway ready, it was then.

As he emerges from the bathroom, there is a tasty breakfast. SH and HJ look terrible like they haven't slept at all and maybe cried all night so even if YS didn't want to talk he felt like he owed them honesty for all the stress he caused them. 

So after breakfast they move to the couch and he tells them that yeah, it's what happened when he went to the countryside. 

"Did someone in your family..." 

"What? Oh no. It was a random alpha. I was in the fields alone at night and he was in a rut. I haven't even seen his face. It was so sudden and then, I was in pre-heat and it... kicked it off all the way, so I barely remember anything at all." 

The fact that assault made his heat start early is something YS can't really think about, it makes him hyperventilate and make all the sounds and vision go dark and muffled so he doesn't dwell on it. 

Just like he can't think how the existence of the baby instantly put him in the protective mode. It's not as much a decision he made as some nature's great imperative working through him, moving the axis of his entire being, sprouting love and care where there was none while he was still very much aware how alien and rapidly occurring those feelings were.

In many ways his own reactions, no doubt fueled by massive hormonal changes, feel even more violating and YS tries his best not to think about that either. He is intent on not thinking or feeling anything at all but that's so much harder when he has to explain things to them.

HJ keeps fidgeting with his sleeves "Why didn't you tell us, you know we would-"

"Stay with me? Yeah. I know you would. That's why I couldn't do that. The choice was taken away from me and I couldn't do that with you too. I wanted to know your honest opinion and you told me."

HJ is frowning but SH nods at him. "It was your call to make and you did and we can respect that. I understand why but I just wish you didn't cut us off so suddenly. You know that we misunderstood the situation badly and went through a heartbreak. You know we still... l- care."

They talk it out some more. And YS has to clamp down on his feelings hard when SH reiterates that they are friends and won't abandon him. Bc tiny part of him was hoping for more but also there is a relief that they don't just fold their lives around him, even though HJ is still

not saying much until he insists that YS stay with them until he is in the clear with doctors. 

And so it's decided and YS starts living with them. HJ takes it upon himself to research everything pregnancy related when he realizes that YS has no clue about his own condition.

As the one with the most flexible schedule he also takes it upon himself to drive him to all the appointments and start going with as well and not correcting everyone assuming they are partners. 

YS doesn't quite know what to do with all of that so he quietly allows himself to be

taken care off. Also HJ starts BUYING stuff. Some special pillows and clothing when he found out YS never got anything like that and vitamins and more and more. As always buying shit is his way to deal with anxiety and after some initial reluctance, YS just lets him.

It's different with SH. It's almost like there are two different ways he treats YS. If they just watch a drama or talk about work or anything like that, it's almost like it was when they just started dating. SH is smiley and teasy and affectionate. Cooking all his favorite meals.

But as soon as anything pregnancy related comes up, he becomes very distantly polite and reserved. YS knows that he is not comfortable with the whole thing and especially how HJ hyperfixated on his research and how many things start getting delivered and filling up their place.

YS tries to do the right thing and move back to his apartment as a month later he is pronounced to be in great health but the truth is he IS terrible at taking care of himself and more so in a current state. He is still spacy and missing big chunks of his day. 

They know it and HJ insists that he stay with them and so he does, slowly turning their living room into a nest, without even thinking. YS is very aware that SH doesn't ask him to stay but he doesn't object either so YS defaults to once again latch on to what they are willing to give him. Guilt and dread always close to the surface in his heart. 

Until it all blows up. HJ orders a fancy high-tech crib and he is struggling to assemble it, refusing help from YS who could clearly see all the ways he was doing it wrong and so giggling in his hands, when SH comes back from work.

SH looks over them and asks what is that. And HJ mumbles something about scrapped metal and YS explains it's a crib. SH is like... a crib... to be put where? HJ pauses and looks up alarmed by his tone and he is like well, it wasn't decided yet. 

And SH's expression darkens bc

Wasn't it? Wasn't it decided, considering he is assembling it right here. Next to the nest. And that's the first time either of them acknowledge that YS has built one on the couch. YS looks at it in panic bc it is right there, with their hoodies and towels and plushies mixed in.

HJ stands up and asks SH what is his problem and SH says nothing but HJ insists and so he starts quietly saying that maybe he would have appreciated being consulted on decisions like this, maybe they could discuss things about changing their apartment or LIFE for that matter but

Clearly HJ is too busy being happy and playing house with YS and apparently his opinion is not really necessary on it. Not like HJ asked his opinion on anything recently. Not like they even had much of a relationship by this point that didn't revolve around YS and his pregnancy.

And YS starts grabbing some of his things, determined to leave asap. HJ is not even saying anything, he is silently crying. SH looks at YS tired and defeated and says to not be stupid and put things down and it's that moment that YS breaks and starts screaming at him. 

That's exactly what he knew would happen. He KNOWS SH hates the idea of parenthood. He knows it brings up his terrible childhood. That's what he was trying to avoid all along! They brought him back and now he ruined their lives just like he knew he would! SH tells him something but he can't hear and can't even fight a hug SH locks him in. 

Can't fight being tugged to the couch into his nest. SH is there still hugging him and then HJ is there too and it's the first time they lay in his nest and YS can't help crying harder at how right it feels.

They don't really fall asleep but it takes a long time until anyone can speak. HJ is the one to start and he apologizes to SH for not seeing how he was hurting, for hiding away in his research and purchasing frenzy so that he could ignore all the fundamental issues they were dancing around. Like the one where he really loves YS and absolutely wants to be a part of his life forever, especially as a partner if he is allowed to. And YS has to clutch his hand and nod. 

SH then apologizes to YS bc he didn't deserve any of this. It's not even that he hates the idea of parenthood. He is just terrified. He is nowhere near to being ready, he won't do a good job, HJ is so much better than him at this already, they would make for a great family and he doesn't see where he would fit in there. YS and HJ both try to assure him and it's not like he doesn't know that many of his fears are just that but it doesn't make them less real. 

But he does want to be with YS, with both of them, baby and all.

They all agree that they need therapy and do they need it! It takes months of active work for them to even scratch the surface, mostly for YS.

They decide to restart their relationship for the third time. Starting with going on dates, doing silly (but also very serious) proper courting, slowly reintroducing intimacy. They manage to get back to having a s3x life for a while until it's too much work for the heavily pregnant YS and while he is afraid of birth he kind of also can't wait for that to happen so they could go back to it. 

And he is not really 100% ok but he is getting a little better every day and he actually starts believing that he has a life full of love ahead of him to get there. 

End.

[munsonsreputation]

hi kay my love!!! congrats on 500 followers! as per usual, i have a request… a noah and steve request!

"I'll keep the nightmares at bay; just rest for now; I got you, I'll be here when you wake up." — you’re very anxious with uni exams and you decide to call steve. it’s middle of the night and for a second he thinks you’re in trouble, but then you explain you can’t sleep and when you do, you have nightmares. when you hang up, steve drives to your house (maybe the fic starts here) and tries to sneak in, but Noah can’t keep his presence a secret. you ask Steve what he’s doing, fluffy talk and he sleeps with you

do your magic, i bet it’s gonna be amazing. love you 💙

hey effie!!

my apologies that this took so long but i hope i did it justice!!! thank you so much for all the love and support that you give to me daily!!! our friendship means so much to me and i hope you love this!! 💘💘💘

The luminous green light from the clock sitting on your desk scorched your eyes. It was nearly three in the morning and you were more than exhausted. On the verge of a mental breakdown, actually.

You had been studying for your university exam for hours. Ass glued to your desk chair and eyes boring holes into the textbook and notes you’d been flipping through. Your sweet dog Noah, fast asleep on the floor beside your feet, as he kept you company while you studied.

You wished you could be fast asleep as well.

You were tired.

So. very. tired.

But you couldn’t find it in yourself to get up.

These exams weighed heavily on your grade and you couldn’t risk missing any points. You had worked so hard to ace these final exams so that you could finally enjoy a break and get this whole thing over with.

But you didn’t know your limits, or at least were horrible at setting those boundaries with yourself. You tended to overwork yourself, and tonight was one of those instances. You wished Steve was here to scold you and tell carry you into bed, but of course you had convinced him that you would be alright and wouldn’t overdo it.

But here you were almost in tears, delirious as you reached your phone and dialed in the numbers you remembered by heart with salty drops already falling down your cheeks as you heard the rings.

“H-hello?” He had just woken up, clearly by the cracking and hoarseness in his voice.

Immediately, you sobbed, loud sniffles cutting in from the other side of the line that got Steve springing up from his bed and wide awake.

“S-steve,” your voice cracked, your sobs getting louder as you wiped your tears, “I—I need you.”

He threw the sheets off his body, shoulder keeping the phone glued to his ears as he tried to search for a shirt to throw on. He caught the time on his clock, immediately even more concerned now considering the hour that you were supposed to be asleep, but instead here you were crying to him over the phone where he could do nothing but let the worse come to mind.

Did someone get into your house?

Did you have a nightmare?

Was something bothering you?

Were you hurt?

Fuck! If you were hurt, then he needed to hurry.

“What going on? Baby—talk to me, are you hurt?”

Mentally. Totally.

Your brained was fried.

You shook your head as if he could see you, swallowing the hiccups that forced itself out, “No, I’m not hurt…I just need you, Steve.”

You heard a little more rustling in the background, before it became clearer, “I’ll be right over, just give me a few minutes, doll.”

“Okay…drive safe, please.” You said softly, trying to calm your crying as you knew help was on the way in no time.

The jingling of his keys was the last thing you heard before his voice, “Always, babe. See you soon.”

You hung up the phone, taking a deep breath as you closed your eyes. The tears still spilling, yet you seemed to get it a bit under control, focusing on the notes on your desk. Attempting to read off the last few bullet points through your blurry eyes, which was absolutely ridiculous, but you were never one to give up so easily.

Your crying had progressed so much that Noah had woken up. Cuddled up by your legs as you reached down with one hand, attempting to comfort him and let him know that you were ok, even though you knew your doggie could feel that you weren’t.

This seemed to be the only time tonight where you tore your eyes away from the pages, but it wasn’t until you heard the key turn in the doorway that you felt like getting up from your desk chair. It was only a few moments later where Steve slowly turned the knob to your bedroom door, staring at you with concern in the doorway.

or the first time that night, you got up from your seat.

The second Steve got into your bedroom he knew you’d be crying once again. You always softened up when he was around, like he was your safe space. And he was so very grateful that you picked him as a safe space.

And he was right, hearing your soft sniffles, and how you sneaked your hand up to your cheek to wipe your cheeks, “Baby…”

You turned slowly towards him, immediately walking into his chest where he had his arms held out, before engulfing you in his cages. You cried into his t-shirt, soaking the fabric with your tears, fingers tightening around his back where you held onto him for dear life.

His eyes scanned around the room, eyes drawn to the mess on your desk filled with scattered pens and papers. Noah had also gone back to his usual spot, knowing that he was around and would make sure that you were ok for the rest of the night. Suddenly, it became clear that studying was what got you here. He had spoken to you over the phone a few hours ago, just before he went to bed around eleven. You had told him you’d only be studying for a half an hour more and then you’d get to beauty sleep.

Of course you didn’t.

“Honey, shhh, you gotta take a deep breath.” He guided your head away enough so he could see you.

Mimicking breathing for you to follow as he clutched your cheeks and thumbed away the tears ever if they didn’t stop anytime soon.

“I—I’m sorry,” you whimpered, tightly shutting your eyes, feeling so embarrassed for waking him and making him come all the way here.

“Hey, no, none of that.” His lips met your forehead, pecking the skin and grounding you. “don’t apologize, I’m so glad you called me.”

Your eyes opened, meeting his brown orbs that looked down at you, “You just gotta talk to me, doll…tell me what’s going on?”

He reached behind him, unwrapping your hands from him and holding yours in his hands, where he led you towards your bed. Honestly, your bed never felt so comfortable than right now. The blankets and pillows cushioning you as Steve pulled the sheets back and led you in. You watched him for a second; him toeing off his shoes before getting into bed beside you.

His arms wrapped across your midsection, slotting himself against you where you felt the most safe and comfortable, “I—I’m so scared of failing….I’ve been studying for hours and no matter how hard I try to get the stupid concept...I just don’t…”

Your voice failed the rest of the sentence, instead the words just slowly crumbling with you as you held on tighter to Steve.

He felt the urgency and anxiety in your hold, knowing this feeling all to well since it had happened before, “Sweet girl, you’ve gotta get some rest, you’re killing yourself over this and it’s not good for you.”

“But…but finals is in a few days and if I don’t—”

He squeezed you a little firmer, cutting off your sentence as he laid a kiss on top of your forehead. “But nothing.” Steve started, staring at you through the pale moonlight with softness and firmness laced in his voice.

“I’ll keep it all at bay for the night, and I need you to rest for now,” his gentle fingers brushing back your tear soaked hair away from your face, “I got you, and I’ll be here in the morning then we can figure this all out together ok?”

Again, sniffles filled the room for a short while, as you didn’t know if you could speak of your gratefulness without breaking out into sobs again. There was just something so endearing and comforting about Steve being here for you in moments like these. Even if the stress and anxiety was all in your head, he always knew how to ground you and keep you from diving deeper into the negative feelings.

“I love you.” You whispered faintly, closing your eyes and digging your face deeper into his chest where you felt the safest from your worries and thoughts.

You could feel his smile as he whispered it back to you, “I love you more,” and his arms never daring to unwrap from your body, keeping you safe from the nightmares of what could have been.

That even if there was a chance that tomorrow could be a repeat of tonight, that he’d be here. He always would and he would never let you go through it alone.

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[fairyhaos]

Moot game asks 👀 Count me in on that stuff, I absolutely love them.

We've had crimes so far, but what would your mutuals be as meet-ugly tropes, rather than meet-cute? To shake things up a little.

(🧚 anon, possibly?)

ohh cool!! and yes ofc you can be 🧚‍♀️ anon ^^

@wheeboo sees you as you're destroying a tombstone in the cemetery while she's with her friend to pay their respects at their grandmother's grave. you're destroying the tombstone bc it belongs to some ancestor of yours who was an ass/ dealt with the devil/ did some fucked-up shit that led you to have a horrible fate or curse, but of course rania doesn't know that, so now she has you branded as a grave-vandaliser and speaks to you so coldly when she sees you next, before reluctantly having to partner with you to save the world from some cursed/ crazed lunatics who were just like your ancestor

@slytherinshua is in the middle of a breakdown in the campus library when you meet her, and honestly you feel bad for telling her to leave, bc you know how stressful midterms can be so you try to tell her as nicely as possible that she needs to leave. but she's so stressed that she blows up on you, before blinking in surprise at her own outburst and promptly scrambling out of the library, taking her laptop but leaving her textbooks. you meet her in the library again, as she awkwardly apologises and asks if you have her books, and you give both the textbooks and your number to her at the same time

@weird-bookworm trips over her own feet and slams right into you during your first meeting. she's horribly late to her class, so she doesn't even turn around to apologize before speeding off, leaving you disoriented and pissed. and weirdly, you two keep meeting, where she runs into you and then runs off bc she's always late for something, causing you to view her as this impolite clutz until one day, she catches your hand as you're about to fall down the stairs, and then gives you such a relieved grin that you think- oh. well, that's new.

@rubywonu borrows a pen from you and then never gives it back. she'd tapped you on the shoulder and asked for it so sweetly, but then at the end of the class she simply zoomed out of the door with your favourite pen, never to be seen again. you don't see her until a few months later, and turns out she's a friend of a friend so you reluctantly get close and eventually realise she's a rlly cool person, deciding to forgive her for the pen. you bring it up one day, though, and her eyes widen bc she totally forgot too, and the next day she brings you a whole pack of that same exact pen that she'd bought just for you

@etherealyoungk hnnjg it's hard to think of meet-uglies for skye but,,, the first time she sees you, it's when you're cursing out your ex in public while dramatically breaking up with him. your ex played up the role of an innocent victim, even though they were definitely in the wrong, and you'd looked like an utter bitch to the public. but then she sees you again, as the barista in a cafe she decided to go to one day, and all she can think of is that you look so sad, not like a crazy bitch. one day, while she's sitting in the cafe (because yes, she's now a regular customer) your ex storms in and starts tearing you apart in the near-empty cafe, and without even thinking about it, skye jumps in to defend you

@mesanthropi is so mesmerised when xe first sees you that xe just . just blanks you. you're trying to ask what role xe'd most likely to get in the school play, but xe's just blinking, totally straight-faced, so your friend has to be the one to talk to xem instead. you're thinking 'wow, rude', without realizing that xe was just so in awe of how pretty you are and short-circuited. as the play rehearsals go on, with you and your friend as co-directors, you see weiss relax around u and deliver stellar performances and slowly, you start to become friends. and who knows? maybe you'll fall in love too.

@blue-jisungs meets you for the first time when she's walking her dog (idk if u actually have a dog but PRETEND YOU DO) and you've recently lost your dog, who looks an awful like axe's..... so you accost her in the middle of the street and demand that she gives your dog back, even though it's hers, and everything is all just a bit too chaotic and confusing for axe on a sunday morning, so she tells you to go away and ushers her dog away from the crazy stranger. then, she passes a missing dog sign on her way back from work that looks a lot like hers, and realises you were telling the truth. she dials the number, tells you that she's the person you saw the other day, and asks that maybe, if you're willing... she could help you look for your dog?

@wonwoonlight is yelling down the phone at her desk when you first meet her, and that has you being terrified of your colleague for all of six months after you meet her. you're a new addition to their department, with khione as your team leader, and she's so frustrated with some idiot when you first see her in the office, basically (justifiably) tearing them a new one for their incompetence, but after that, you're always seeing her as this strict, horrible person until one day she takes care of you during a corporate dinner while you're not feeling your best, scolding you gently for coming when you feel ill and calling a cab to take you home early

@icyminghao is someone you know from childhood, and honestly, you can't remember your first ever meeting. but you do have an early memory of her playing 'got your nose' with you and making you cry, and ever since then, she's been a nuisance in your life. that is, until some school project has you being forced to truly work together, and after you put aside your annoyance, your irritation melts away into something akin to fondness, finding her cheerinees something adorable rather than annoying

[forever-eternal]

Hii!! 😭 ok. All of these songs are by The Tiny but all these songs when applied to your AU feel like your world’s stories going absolutely horribly wrong

Pet Sematary

Lithium

Open Up (ft. Kelle-Kari)

Across the Bridge

Too Heavy a Burden

Don’T

Just Like You

Never Coming Back

Second Time Around

Lake

That is a lot of songs- I hope you can listen to all of them lol

:D hi lovely!!

Pet Semetary:

This. Vibes are the States feelings after the Civil War — the States that thought Adam was dead specifically, so anyone before Minnesota.

Feels especially like Pennsylvania in that one story where he has a nightmare.

Lithium:

This sounds like Robin in the middle of a breakdown during the Civil War tbh. She was so stressed all the time— especially since her husband was actively trying to rip himself to pieces, and she had really young States to raise.

Adam may not talk about when he’s in pain, but Robin hides her stress and panic like it’s a competition.

Opened Up:

Feels like the thought process of several States when they were younger (such as Florida, Texas, Louisiana, California, etc.. States who were abused in their past lives) being comforted by their parents when they get scared of flashes they remember but don’t understand.

Across the Bridge:

I DON’T KNOW THE EXACT SITUATION BUT THIS IS PERFECT FOR ADAM AND ROBIN GRIEVING. OR THE OG’S GRIEVING WHEN THEY HAVE TO BASICALLY ABANDON THEIR KIDS (explained in ‘The Ultimatum’)

Too Heavy a Burden:

Adam is insecure about his injury. He does not feel like he can be the strong pillar his family needs when he needs a back brace just to stand.

Don’t:

Those few months where the States who thought Adam died are getting to know ‘Gov’? When they realize he reminds them of someone they knew? This is the vibe.

Just Like You:

When Adam and Robin brought Greg back to live as an undead creature and adopted him. Could also be Robin comforting Hawai’i while Adam goes to…talk to Imperial Japan :)

Never Coming Back:

I think this is Robin in a middle of a spiral if Adam ever actually dies. Or Adam if Robin ever dies. It could be either to be honest. Most likely the day of their funeral (symbolic. There is no body to bury)

Second Time Around:

I cannot tell you what it is about this song but it gives me vibes from the one story I wrote about the Burning of Washington.

Lake:

This song is making me punch the wall but I can NOT tell you what the situation is. Istg. It’s just emotional pain.

I’d love to know what you thought of when you heard these songs! I’m always excited to hear other people putting my characters into Situations!

[cinamun]

I honestly think we all have a lot to unpack still. I know I do. On one hand, there is the anger and feelings of betrayal people are feeling because of the final actions Elliot took. But at the same time, we watched him grow up and some (like me) who are newer to the story and binged to catch up, all the good times with Hope are very much fresh in our mind. So while I wanted to snatch his ass up at the post before the choke out scene, the minute I realized where this was going, I legitimately lost it and cried. Cin, I cried like he was my favorite cousin. And here I was watching him self destruct, powerless to stop it all.

Sean was dealt a near impossible hand and then proceeded to play the shittiest game of poker ever. But at the end of the day, I do believe he loved his son. He just… was not equipped to be the father Elliot needed. And like someone mentioned, the Drakes were the family and support he never got at home.

So here he is at a time of crisis in his life, he looks back to where he was happiest. We need to remember that while his actions were abhorrent (violence of that magnitude against someone you claim to love is NEVER justifiable), he was in the middle of a mental breakdown. He could not see a way out of the pain and suffering. To him, the only way to stop it was death. When a person gets to that point, when every thought is fatalistic and they feel boxed in on all sides, suicide seems like a blessing.

I am not and will never defend his actions or Sean’s inability to be the father Elliot needed. But there was a time when we all were rooting for Elliot. When we believed in him and Hope. This is what we should mourn. The potential, the boy in there who was reaching out for something all children should have: the unconditional love of a parent.

And now here we are surrounded by the catastrophic remains of Elliot’s actions. Much like Darren, it’s understandable that our first reaction is to snatch up Sean and scream that Elliot deserves no forgiveness. But Darren saw the devastation in Sean’s eyes. He saw a parent coming to the horrible realization that he failed his child on every. single. level. He also recognized the very same pain clawing at his chest mirrored in Sean’s features. When faced with that, all you can do is fall apart.

So no, we shouldn’t feel sympathy for Elliot in light of his last actions on this earth. But as human beings, we should acknowledge the sheer agony that led up to said actions. We should remember that boy whose friendship was a cornerstone in Hope’s (and all the Drakes honestly) life. That is the person we should sympathize with because that child never stood a chance.

Now we all have to deal with the consequences of the final act of a desperate man. Those actions were unbelievably selfish, horrific and cruel. But that’s not going to be what stays with Hope. When she wakes up, she is going to be told that her oldest friend is gone. She is going to remember those last moments and obsessively wonder what she could have done to save him. This is the trauma every single person who ever cared about Elliot has to reckon with now. And that right there is the sad legacy he leaves behind.

Oof... Let's get into it:

Absolutely all of the above! I couldn't agree more.

So here we have 3 REALLY important moments in Elliot's relationship with his dad and just his life in general:

Not only did E feel like "what team" but a team is supposed to symbolize some kind of family, you don't let your "team" down. But as we learned through Kendrick, even his team/family was flawed. Its like everywhere that Elliot turned for support he couldn't find it UNLESS it was Hope. Kendrick's purpose was to distrupt what should have been Elliot's squad, he was the QB and everyone on the line is supposed to protect the QB..... until Sean took him out of position. Like Hope had Robin and Aaliyah as team mates that became besties. These are the support systems that were so elusive to Elliot.

When I think about such an influential yet disturbed character like Elliot, I think about the whole spectrum of them, especially long-term characters like E. I thought about that spectrum for days. Where did it start, what happened along that spectrum of simulated life and the ultimate end of it. I learned from my own damn writing (smh) that no matter where Elliot turned, nothing was what he needed unless it was Hope. There was no healthy alternative.

Maybe part of the reason they used to scheme on how to get Sean a girlfriend when they were kids is because they were foreshadowing a very dark future if Elliot was left to his own devices with Sean behind the wheel. Basically, I had to study Elliot from the moment he entered the story, until he took his last breath today and, unfortunately, the end result was the only result. And its real, and we need to check on our people as much as we can.

[gentleeclipsey]

Was it worth it?

I swear to god if this is who I think it is I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I'm going to be brutally fucking honest about my feelings and I don't care, if you decide to read this that's on you. I have blocked you five times, there is a hint and then there's a blatant get the fuck away from me.

But, if you're not who I think you are, in some capacity I'd say yes. Fair warning, a lot of bad stuff mentioned, also a bit of a rant because I've never told anyone outside a few friends who aren't on tumblr. Also I'm sorry, this is gonna be long and disjointed, the whole thing makes me angry to an unnatural degree, I've never been this angry at someone in my life. TL;DR just below the cut:

TL;DR: my ex destroyed my mental state and Trollhunters made me realize that, now I'm single and happier for it. Now onto the rage.

I made a lot of friends despite my partner's actions, and I have characters who I absolutely love, I'm free, I feel good, I'm not scared to be alive. I'd say it wasn't worth all the bullshit I put up with. I'm angry at myself because I was so spineless, even now I still can't fucking make heads or tails of half the shit that happened.

I don't care anymore. They'll always see me as a horrible person, I did my best and I was never enough, I'd never be enough no matter how much I tried. No matter how many times I cried, no matter how many times I had to hide things from myself so I wouldn't leave new marks, no matter how many times I apologized, it'd always be my own fault and at this point I've just accepted I was fucking pathetic and horrible and I don't care. I had to spend every waking fucking moment catering to them, talking to them, and they'd get angry because I wouldn't realize what was wrong and I wouldn't fucking pry it out of them and bend over backwards for days to make them feel better. I had to ask for a break somewhere in the middle because between classes, work, and them, I was so fucking overwhelmed and I tried to explain it to them but they didn't believe me or didn't care but every time they had the chance they'd rub my face in the fact they were so hurt over the fact I needed a break to regather myself.

Mind you, their pain was more important than mine. When I first had Jackie, she was my favorite OC. I loved using her, I still do, but they hid their feelings about her for so long that when they told me they didn't like her and called my emotions toxic for being upset. When they tried to rub that break in my fucking face again I told them about the absolute painful hurt I felt over what they told me and most essentially they basically told me that pain didn't mean anything because it wasn't like their pain. I was fucking trying to craft her to be appealing to them, to make her what they wanted so we could just be happy again but they fucking threw all that out the window.

Wanna hear the best part? I couldn't fucking talk to anyone outside of them publicly, even to use Jackie with others despite the fact they hated her. I have Sage to thank, because they were the first person I interacted with publicly that made me start seeing my partner for who they were. They got so fucking mad over a short text RP, later told me they wanted me to make friends, then fucking went back on it and fucking got upset because I apparently treated people I talked to casually better than them.

They rubbed my face in the fact they had breakdowns in public because of shit they started. When I'd pass out they'd get quiet with me and have a short temper but if they passed out I had to be understanding. If they vanished for days at a time I wasn't allowed to be upset but if I vanished they'd have a fucking breakdown. I made myself be so understanding to them becsuse they were sick and they never fucking thought twice. Never. Because I wasn't sick like them that meant I always had to be perfectly fine. Always. Perfectly. Fucking. Fine. They admitted to me they tried to train me. Train me. Like I'm a dog. Like I'm a fucking dog. I cannot begin to tell you the absolute whirlwind of rage I felt in the moment I read that but I kept my head by some fucking miracle.

Trollhunters is what broke the back of all the shit that'd been happening. It started with Undertale, it ended with Trollhunters, and they took my fucking OC from me and told me for years that that OC wasn't mine exclusively, and now I don't have a fucking choice. I can't even begin to describe the absolutely disgusting anger I feel over the fact I literally can do nothing to get my OC back because they've told me for years she wasn't mine and I can't fucking remember anything clearly and I doubt myself constantly now. I cannot begin to describe the absolute disgust it makes me feel I can't do anything to fucking get my OC back and that I hate more of my OCs because of their bullshit.

To contact a fucking artist, an amazing, wonderful person fucking 5 years later and say that I stole their OC and to take down the art? What the fuck. Funnily enough, I have Jackie most specifically to thank for making me realize! Wanna know what the fuck they said to me? "I was upset because I felt you loved her more than me." I WISH I WAS FUCKING LYING. I have so few screenshots but Jesus fucking christ I cannot explain to you the absolute seriousness in which that was stated.

I cannot even begin to describe the anger I feel over everything that happened. Not in the fucking slightest. They always accused me of not loving them anymore, of hating them, when they first started saying that it wasn't true, but now I can't fucking stand the idea of them anymore. I hope they see all the shit I do now, how much I draw Jackie being happy despite their shit.

So yeah. I have Trollhunters and Jackie to thank for helping me realize how bad things had gotten, because if it weren't for my absolute hyperfocus on it I don't think I would've seen what'd happened as soon as I did. There are so many emotions in here I can't describe at all, and I know if they saw this they'd immediately try attacking me publicly. Hell they might see this because I've had to block four fucking accounts already. Five if you count discord.

I feel like I should've taken way more screenshots than I did, but I'm not going to post them, I want to move on from this but I have so much simmering rage over what's happened its taking me a while. They're not in the Trollhunters fandom, at least, they're barely on social media as is aside from lingering accounts. Trollhunters is my safe space now, as is Jackie and my closest friends.

[blahbeble]

incoherent rambling about Shion Sonozaki

Writing this as someone who’s still reading the game (I’m in the middle of Tsumi) but MAN I think Meakashi is one of the best things I have ever read and extremely tragic and Shion’s characterization really blew me me away. She is one of the best portrays of a mentally ill and traumatized person I’ve ever seen and they take the “risk” of making her do and think some very horrid things yet mange to not demonize her mental illness and not link it with villainy. She’s bitter and easily jealous and often projects on the people around her. She has this anger inside of her a part of her that wishes that everyone was as miserable as she was even people who’ve done nothing to her. And by the end of Meakashi she killed a lot of people. Some was revenge against her abusers and some was for survival. But she also killed because she wanted to drag everyone down to hell with her. Perhaps in her mind killing people like Mion and Kimiyoshi was also revenge. Weather it be her inferiority complex and chance at a good life or that she desperately wanted them to defend and stick up for her and they failed to protect her. And felt betrayed by the people who cared about her as the love she received throughout her life was very inconsistent  I could go on how the arc carefully writes all the moves she makes. What specifically leads her to murder someone and all the build ups to her murders cause they’re all VERY considerately handled. It never felt like she went out of her way to just go and kill someone there was always steps towards it that made her tick until that idea in her head won her over and she took her chance. But while l I adore how a lot of Shion’s "ugly” traits are handled she also has this childish, naïve, purity about her that’s truly heart breaking. Yes, Shion does a lot of absolutely horrible things in this arc and even at the beginning of it you can definitely tell there’s something “wrong” with her. She thinks in a very unempathetic or apathetic way about a lot of things. She’s desensitized to violence due to her upbringing and thinks cruel things like how she wouldn’t care if Satoko died or thought she should die for Satoshi. But it’s not just hate for the world she holds but hate for herself and existence most of all. After all she’s really just a kid who was abused. She feels like her bitterness towards her family is unjust and does genuinely know how horrible her desires to do something about it are and hates herself for. She wants to defend herself but she feels like she’s invalid in her anger and internalized this idea from her family that she IS the problem and suffers intense self loathing. There’s also the side of her that genuinely wants to get along with her family because their her family. She holds onto this innocent idea that somewhere deep inside they must care about her and even they would have their limits. And the fact that her family can flipflop between being kind to her and being cruel to her fed into her naivety. And While it’s not hard at all to grasp Shion’s bitterness towards her family there’s never a moment in Meakashi where she has an emotional breakdown about the targets of her abuse like Oryou. She pours her heart out on how she misses Satoshi, how she projects her jealousy and anger onto both Mion and Satoko but Oryou or any other member of the Sonozaki family never get that despite being the ones that hurt her the most. Heck if you look at the text Shion never directly spells out why she did what she did. And I think it’s cause Shion downplays her abuse to herself. Heck Shion gets very self loathing monologues directed at herself and over her abusers. She’s internalized the fact that she’s a mistake. I think the demon allegory she internalizes when having an identity crisis is interesting for this reason. She never has a bitter monologue about how she turned out this way and blaming the people who were truly responsible. I genuinely don’t think Shion would have ever murdered anyone if she didn’t have someone to hide behind as an excuse. And while Satoshi is the absolute PERFECT candidate for this scenario with how similar they are and in her eyes he’s “free of sin” I can totally see her doing it for others if things went different. While Mion and Satoko were objects of Shion’s jealousy and anger for her I could also totally see her murder on their behave to in the right circumstances. Because convincing herself she was standing up for someone innocent and acting selflessly and unconsciously doing what she wanted someone to do for her was the only way she felt validated in her desires. Nearing the end of Meakashi her mind is an absolute mess. On the surface (Which is also her true feelings to an extent) it looks like she’s having this high of ecstasy and sadistic pleasure as she finally is able to let out all her pent up anger and fight back. But she’s also a mess. She feels absolutely horrible for what she’s done. There’s a lot of things about Shion that makes her feel like she’s detached herself from reality because of how empty and isolated she feels  and I think she’s disassociating from the horror she’s caused by indulging in her sadistic pleasure and getting lost in her identity crisis and all the confusion she’s feeling. 

 But despite that she really does want to be caught and is desperate to be figured out. And latches onto Rena for support and pulls at straws with things Keiichi says she wants SOMETHING 

and not just that but also that someone will love and accept her for her and not just Mion. She wants to be seen for who she is and someone to tell her that she DOES have a place in the world. She both loves and hates the things Keiichi says to her in the final stretch as while they touch her heart. It strings because these words weren’t truly meant for her and she knows that. And by the end her mind is so muddled and she’s exhausted and kills herself from the guilt. Aaaa this post is such an incoherent mess and ended abruptly but I love Shion Sonozaki

[consumed-by-fandom]

DIDude relationship dynamics. If you care. /lh

[For the peeps who are unfamiliar with my au, D=P1, Dude=P2, and Alt=P3]

D and Dude are dependant on each other full stop. D craves Dude’s ability to seem unfettered by the violence that surrounds them, but equally despises how Dude brings that chaos to them in the first place. He’s risky with seemingly no regard for the system and it pisses D off so much. But at the same time he constantly needs Dude to protect him from the shit they’re surrounded with and to slap some sense into him when his delusions get the better of him. And Dude just… doesn’t understand D At All. He’s stuck in his own perspective of the world and he wants D to see it through his eyes so badly but his way of doing that does nothing but hurt D (a trait that gets passed on to Other Dude when he gets split off). He’s just constantly confused as to why D keeps getting angry at him, and he treats him terribly but he doesn’t want to deep down. God knows he cares so much for D to the point its painful, but he sees showing even the slightest vulnerability to be a sign of weakness, a sign that he can be taken advantage of. Has this horrible connection between being emotionally honest and being hurt.

Rip all that away though and they both absolutely adore each other deep down. D has a softness that both disgusts and endears Dude and he can’t help but crave that attention and affection when its given to him. Being trusted or told he’s doing a good job breaks him to his core. And D really looks up to Dude and how he will always try to protect them, and D would do the same for him. They both need each other too much and hate how they handled things last time (Postal 1)

Alt tends to act as a middle ground to facilitate between their arguments and how they act towards one another, and if they just sat down and tried to talk things out they’d probably never let go of each other ever again. There’s the potential to get along really well, but they’re also severely traumatised and have terrible ways of coping with that.

Speaking of Alt, in general he acts like a bit of a caregiver to them both, being the most mature out of all of them despite being the youngest system-wise. Being split with shallow emotions and holding Dude’s memories he’s a little more favourable towards Dude to the point of kinda being more than a little into him. He thinks his recklessness is cute. He’s a little silly. He’s got a weird way of deciding when to be the rational thinker and when he just wants to complete a goal in the most violent way possible. It’s not that he’s aching to get into trouble, he’s just more focused on getting the task done that a few rolling heads are just “casualties”. Bearing all this in mind though he usually tries to be both the angel and devil on Dude’s shoulder to varying effects. Shows his affection by being the more irritable son of a bitch in the world. He’s confusing. But he’s understandable once you actually give him the space to be honest about why he does the things he does, and he usually has Dude’s best interests at heart.

Dude can’t decide whether or not he wants to choke him to death or make out with him. Alt confuses him too much and he doesn’t like it.

He’s far more gentle with D on the other hand, though he doesn’t speak to him as much since D rarely wants to front, he’s able to calm him down enough to not freak out and have a breakdown on the worser nights. Very much cares for him though as to why even he doesn’t really understand. D still doesn’t fully trust him because he’s still this intruder who showed up one day, and it took D basically 15+ years to stop calling Dude a demon. But sometimes Alt gives him the comfort he usually craves from Dude and its more than enough to develop a fond opinion of him. They’ve talked a lot when they got the chance. They’re… close to an extent, Rarely gets pissed off at Alt.

Ugh I love these dysfunctional weirdos lmao

[celestelunisea16]

I have a headcanon. If you want to hear.

also hi, yeah you also got me with it. Nice to meet you

I like to think the sheer chaos of what happens when like. A general bystander just sees a star shaped cowboy and king of hell walk down together holding hands (in hell)

or alternatively

The sheriff of the wild east and short clown guy with heels walking down the street holding hands (in star's world)

The thought process going through your mind would be insane even trying to process who and what is going on

Well, as you've possibly seen, I am down to hear headcanons for these guys. Also howdy, nice to meet you as well, I am sorry for infecting you with this outbreak, I'm sorry if the two dads have taken over your brain and though process. quq

So, I already answered the Wild East sorta, but I can add a little bit more to it, and I have not answered the one about them walking somewhere in Hell yet, so here we go, brain hyperfixation of this GO-

So Wild East, they would basically all assume either these two men are just really friendly or are just really attached to each other in someway or that Lucifer is just another performer for the stage in the Saloon until Lucifer kisses Starlo's cheek at the Bell in the middle of town. Though, if a bystander from Snowdin, The Ruins, or any other town were to come through the Wild East seeing Starlo and Lucifer holding hands, it would be the same until they look at the pinboard on the outside wall of that one barn or until they talk to someone in the town about them being a couple. Then, when they realize, they just immediately just take a moment and are flustered over not realizing sooner.

In Hell, let me tell you, they try so hard to keep it secret. Lucifer literally has to do as all the sins do and disguise himself sometimes. Most demons just see them as a couple of sinners holding hands and walking around lovingly...

... But some demons are pretty smart or pay a lot of attention to their surroundings or to detail and are fans of the King of Hell. They don't realize that Starlo isn't a Sinner, and Lucifer does his absolute best to disguise himself. But basically, say someone who was REALLY paying attention to detail and is a big fan of Lucifer sees him in his disguise with Starlo, holding his hand and holding it close to him to make sure he's stuck with him at all times. If they're in the Pride Ring, which is the most possible place they'd be seen at, that sinner would take a quick picture of Starlo and Lucifer holding hands and would even possibly post it on their social media websites while they fawn over it themselves. If they get lucky, they might even get a picture of both of them stealing a quick smooch, who knows~?

This would end up trending on EVERY social media site with captions either fawning on how cute he looks with the unknown sinner or with captions hating on their handholding.

Starlo doesn't really mind since he doesn't really understand why this is bad... Lucifer, however, is panicking HORRIBLY.

He's trending on social media with the love of his life, where absolutely EVERYONE can see this man's weakness. This is a problem, as they all probably don't realize Starlo isn't a Sinner. If Starlo were to die in Hell, he would dust. He doesn't know how Starlo's soul works or how he'd be able to bring him back. Lucifer would basically have a breakdown if this were to happen and even with the thought, this man will breakdown. He doesn't want to lose another person. Especially his Starlight. Starlo would have to console him that he's not gonna get hurt anytime soon, especially with his big, strong king around. (Cuddles will ensue back at Lucifer's place.)

[nepobabyeurydice]

A Kite Stuck By Lightning

Sally relives a memory, Hades wishes that Poseidon would go back to choosing the pretty idiot ones.

On AO3

The memory is old and half-faded, but it’s what solidified her marriage to Gabriel.

It begins with a trip to the park. Percy’s mouth slathered with mint chocolate ice cream because it was the closest approximation to blue ice cream. His blue eyes are wide as he takes in the people and the noise.

It’s a clear, windy day in the middle of spring, the sun is shining, the chill doesn’t deep through her jeans and Percy’s been eyeing the kites since they got here. 

What’s the harm? Sally had thought then. No one knows. It’s been six years and no one has figured it out yet.

It was just a kite.

Then the lightning hit it. It seared through the paper of the kite and slammed into the dirt with a vicious fury, and it was only Percy’s quick reflexes that saved him from being injured.

Sally froze for a moment, numb.

It was just a kite.

It was just a kite.

And all Zeus had to do was throw a single bolt and burn Percy into ash. He had just shown he could do that with a fucking kite.

.x.

“That’s enough,” a voice says and Sally gasps as she hits the floor. She doesn’t look up, Poseidon had warned her to never look up unless she was certain that the god was already in mortal form.

Her heart thuds in her ears, her cheeks feel wet from the tears she had probably let loose. 

“Look at me, mortal.” the voice says and Sally knows with absolute certainty who it is. “How dare you send your son to steal my helm.”

Sally looks up and regrets it immediately since her first thought is he would make an excellent redemption bait for my protagonist.

This, she’s been informed by one of her friends in Sweet America after she caught Sally staring at a distinctly shabby man going by Fred that Sally itched to make a mentor figure for her character, was not normal.

But it worked like a coping mechanism right now so who was Sally to stop what was keeping her from having a hysterical breakdown?

“Percy has done nothing wrong.” Sally says, and it’s by some miracle her voice doesn’t crack. “He could’ve never made it from one side of the Hudson to the other without getting expelled.”

“LIAR!” Hades roars and he paces like a caged lion. Souls writhe in his robes and Sally wonders what awful crimes must have you committed to be in his underpants. Or worse, what type of lover you were to him. She pulls a face of disgust at the thought.

“He has stolen something from me and if you don’t tell me where it is before the summer solstice I will stop Death.” Hades threatens. “I have no use for my brother’s lover if that is the case.”

Sally takes a deep breath, the air smells like decay and pomegranates, but somehow she swears she smells ozone. Maria di Angelo, she recalls abruptly, the conversation she had had with Poseidon all those years ago swollen with Percy coming to mind, had been killed by the Master Bolt. 

“He was six,” Sally begins and Hades whips around to stare. “When Zeus made his first threat. He struck Percy’s kite with lightning with enough force it should’ve killed him. Other times, eagles have appeared on his window when he’s in boarding school, they cut through the scent Gabriel offers. I’ve been married to that horrible, ugly man for six years in some vain hope I will never let my baby boy go. And now you tell me my Perseus stole something from the gods?”

“You do not understand the lengths a son will go to please his father.” Hades replies, eyes intense and perhaps mad with the destruction he had witnessed throughout the centuries. “Poseidon is charming and—”

Sally shoots up to her feet ignoring the voice screaming in her head. “I have raised a good boy. I don’t understand what else Olympus and the Underworld want me to do! Percy is sweet and caring and loyal. All I want for him is a happy ending and this war won’t give it to him. Why in the world would he do such a thing? Why would my son, not Poseidon’s, mine, do such a thing when sometimes I swear the only thing he hates more than Gabriel is his father?”

Hades snarls, truly snarls like a dog on a chained to a post in the streets of New York, and Sally flinches back, but she doesn’t stand down. She closes her eyes half-mast in preparation of what’s to come.

“We will see.” Hades says instead and Sally’s eyes pop open as he vanishes into the shadows.

We will see, she thinks as a crystalline substance forms over her body, sealing her inside of it. She doesn’t panic, she knows better than to panic at a time like this. We will see.

Once, there was a kite, and the kite was struck by lightning. One could not begin to imagine how many choices were begotten out of that simple moment. If you ask Sally Jackson for the answer you’d get in reply: more than you can ever imagine.

Percy Jackson will never learn of this. He doesn’t have to, all he has to do is rescue his mother and go home like his namesake before him. 

[cutieparadox]

OK PERSONA OC EXPLANATION BECAUSE. YES. I FINALLY FIGURED EVERYTHING OUT. UNDER THE CUT. if you saw me struggle to add a line break no you didnt.

I keep referring to my persona ocs and acting like everyone knows who they are and what I’m talking about, so, yeah here they are.

This is an original story, so this doesn’t happen during any of the games, or have any of the canon characters, this could be an alternate timeline, maybe one where the p2 timelines never split?? That’s not super important, but it does take place in sumaru city.

Or more accurately, it takes place in Yokohama! I’ll call it Sumaru City, but all of the background shots I’ll draw are just Yokohama. So.

The main cast is all based on each persona game, so for example Asuka is persona 3, so she’s blu-themed, and she's coming to terms with the limited time she has and to stop caring about other people because of it. Nana is based on persona 2 so she’s scarlet red themed and her character development is being like “yeah horrible things have happened to me, but I can decide if I become more bitter and angry because of it, or I can become a loving and supportive person instead.”, etc, etc.

So all of these people (Asuka Iwasaki, Nana Akiteru, Mikuru Saki, Ruuna Narumi, and Oka Morishita)

are childhood friends, Oka, Asuka, and Nana being the first to meet, and then Saki and Ruuna move in and meet them after, and they become INSEPARABLE like these 5 are just a package deal. They are split up between the two schools from persona 2, but they just run to the middle point once school ends to hang out anyway.

Ok so for the actual PERSONA stuff!!

In 2022, (when this story takes place), a strange phenomenon has been happening for about 4 years.

People have noticed objects or ideas from their dreams appearing in reality, but only to them. Reflections change to their fantasy self, surroundings shifting for only a moment.

Mental illness diagnosis and hospitalization have gone up tenfold, even if the patient's family history doesn’t have any listed psychosis cases. It’s baffled scientists and other researchers for years, as there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it.

More recently, a particularly extreme set of cases has started happening all over japan. People have started suddenly going into a psychotic breakdown, speaking absolute nonsense and parading through the streets, possibly hurting other people or causing property destruction. They also end up admitting things they would NEVER admit willingly while in this trance, I have this vivid idea of a married man falling victim to this, and admitting to his wife that he never actually saw her as anything other than a friend and that he only married her to ignore the fact that he was gay and in love with his best friend. This character wouldn’t be important, just an idea of what happens.

They can not be stopped unless death or stamina runs out. Eventually, they run out of energy and collapse on the spot! Just. Crumple. These patients almost always fall into a coma and die after a month or so. When they are in that coma, their brain shuts off completely. Not even essential brain waves are active, and yet, their heart still beats?? I haven’t figured that part out uh

The apparent cause has been privately researched by two scientists by the names of Lain Hayashi and Ayaka Suzuki, as well as their assistants Ami Iwasaki and Ichiro Narumi.

Ami is Asuka’s Cousin, and Ichiro is Ruuna’s older brother and legal caretaker, as well as the owner of the house they live in. Ami lives there too, her and Ichiro have been dating since they were in school.

Both of them are super cute together. I adore them. the heterosexuals ever.

The “Lab” (I haven’t thought of a name for it, probably something like project blank) came up with the theory of the “Rem cycle” phenomenon, as well as the idea of the “inside”

Only persona users can enter the inside, so out of the research team, only Ami and Ichiro can enter it.

The inside is a HUGE towering hospital with a large labyrinthine courtyard.

I’ll talk about the courtyard first, it’s like mementos essentially. Something like..” forgotten dreams are laid to rest here” so it’s overgrown and stuff. It’s actually off to the side, so it’s like. Out of the way.

The individual dreams are separated into wards. These wards are basically pockets of whatever dream the holder is having. So, for example, if someone is having a dream where they are the Prime Minister, the dream world would be that version of japan. Or if anyone had a dream about being a princess in a Victorian castle then the ward would be that area of the world, and more particularly whatever castle they would live in. Persona users are not exempt from falling victim to this. Using my last example, one of my ocs is actually like that. She is completely aware that she is in a dream, and that her real body will die. She’s able to control everything around her because of that awareness. This is exclusive to persona users. But in most cases, at least the only case I had written which is aforementioned, they have to fuse with their shadow, therefore taking its place. I haven’t worked out all the logistics of that, so come back to me on that later. I just know that fusing causes heterochromia, with one eye being their natural color, whichever one the dominant side of their handsis, and the other being the yellow that shadows are known for. It also causes incredible power shifts that can be very physically dangerous. It doesn’t however cause any split personality tropes, because the shadow is them, so there’s no battle for control type things. Hypothetically there could be if you fuse with a shadow that is not your own, but I haven’t thought about that much.

The goal of these persona users is to kill the shadow and release the holder, or in the case of the fused people, get them to relinquish control and allow the ward to crumble and for them to return to reality.

When in the inside, persona users get their own outfits. Basically the metaverse outfits or magical girl transformations. Small colors change depending on the Ward, however.

Another interesting thing, particularly skilled persona users can bend the inside to their whims, if only in certain ways. Things like weapons appearing from thin air, floating/flying, destroying different structures,etc.

Two shadows end up joining the team as well after the rest of their awakenings. They are completely safe and stuff no like. Betrayal.

They didn’t have a name so they asked the team to name them.

Shadow A ends up asking for “the prettiest cutest loveliest name you can give me” so, she got Kokorohime MajiBaton Loveha. The ultimate KiraKira bs name. Everyone calls her Hime but she insists strangers call her by her full “legal” name, much to everyone else’s dismay.

Shadow B asked for any name that didn’t sound like that. So they got Natsuro Masa. Yay! New team members get. The two move in with Ruuna and Ami and Ichiro! Ami thought they were so cute so she was fine with it, And Ichiro was too tired to care and they had an extra room anyway. He basically just said “whatever kids have fun”

Eventually, they named the team “ dream saviors” or “YumeYumis!” I just call them the saviors in my head.

Other random stuff includes:

All of the saviors' (and Ichiro and Ami's) personas are the muses from Greek mythology! Some of these are super shallow relations but uh. Ignore that it will make sense eventually!! Here is The list of personas and how they connect to the characters are:

Ami has Erato, the muse of Love poetry. She’s like dangerously in love with Ichiro, like. Girly would put her life on the line for that man. (and it’s completely mutual dw)

Ichiro has Clio, the muse of history. Uh. He’s smart! That’s it!! I kind of didn’t have any other ideas for him I’m so sorry my baby boy.

Nana has Melpomene, the muse of tragedy and chorus. Nana has gone through some stuff. Like really. I haven’t exactly decided what. But I do know it’s some STUFF. So uh. Tragedy!

Saki has Calliope, The muse of epic poetry. Saki is a hardcore theater kid. She works for a theater troupe and is their rising star!

Asuka has Euterpe, the muse of music. She’s the headliner of a metal band. Yeah. Kinda clear there.

Oka has Polyhymnia, the muse of Hymns and sacred poetry. She’s a writer. Yet again, that’s it!!

Hime has Terpsichore, the muse of dancing. Hime's inside outfit (or what she wore for her entire life before getting pulled out of the inside) was a ballerina ensemble. Yet again, super shallow, but I feel like she would like dancing anyway.

Natsuro has Urania, the muse of astronomy! She’s space themed, but like 70’s science fiction space stuff??? You know what I meant!!

Last but not least, Ruuna has Thalia, the muse of comedy. Joking and being like, high energy is her coping mechanism. And uh. Yeah. That’s it!!

You might also be asking “why don’t Ichiro and Ami go save these people themselves” because they literally can’t!!

One, they are disallowed by Lain and Ayaka to do anything outside of looking around, and killing any random shadows walking around the hallways. They also just can’t enter the wards. The saviors are the “keys” to the wards because of fate and stuff. If the two followed behind them they could, that’s actually how they found out how they are researching the rem cycle.

Anything past any of this I don’t know. Lol.

[amegeddon]

The great (horrible) Rimworld twst spoon war has happened and oh my god it was. something. (also violence and undetailed video game blood warning so if you're not up to reading/seeing that stuff then maybe don't read this to the end because there is a LOT of violence in the text portion and a lot of game blood it in the last image whoops)

This was the arena, I put small rooms in on the side so I could give them all their spoons (or in Ortho's case, rocket launcher) in relative safety.

And then I discovered it is quite difficult to induce a mental breakdown in rimworld pawns. but after a few minutes Idia and Jade went berserk and began attacking everyone on sight.

The first to die was Idia because Ace stabbed him with a spoon in the sternum.

Shortly after that happened Malleus began randomly insulting the hell out of Silver as a coping mechanism or something??

Ace managed to kill Jade by somehow removing his left leg with his spoon, saving the group from both of the lads that'd gone berserk.

Sebek and Riddle then died of blood loss because Idia managed to stab them both once.

Malleus killed Silver by punching him in the foot, causing him to die of blood loss.

Floyd also died of blood loss because Idia had managed to split his face open

Idia once again caused someone to die of blood loss, this time Ortho who was unfortunate enough to get stabbed twice by Idia's spoon :( rip rocket launcher boy.

Naturally, with the rocket launcher lying around I gave it to Malleus because I definitely wasn't playing favourites and I totally don't want to play twst just for him (don't listen to Oreo if she says otherwise, she is lying)

Just for fun I had Mal make the middle of the arena explode, injuring four of the other lads in the process.

However, before any of them could die Idia's beserk stabbing rage from before claimed another victim, this time it was Ace, dying from blood loss caused by spoon-based sternum stabbing.

Then this happened. I don't know who hurt Jack and I'm too lazy to launch the game again and find out, but it was probably Idia using his signature sternum stabbing move... probably. idk he might've been injured by the wall lol.

Eventually the rocket launcher injuries claimed it's first victim, it had destroyed Kalim's legs, leading him to die of what I assume is blood loss but the thing just says "Kalim perished" so idk could be anything.

The next victim was Ruggie, who I'm pretty sure lost his arm in the explosion whoops-

Unfortunately for Malleus, Leona went on a murderous rampage directed at him and only him, finishing him off by stabbing him in the torso with his spoon.

The next to die was Azul, who somehow had come out of the explosion uninjured except for his right eye which had been obliterated, the blood loss from the demolished eye didn't kill him though, it was Trey, who had "reluctantly" stabbed him in the torso.

Vil, who had somehow managed to escape injury up until the rocket launcher incident that demolished one of his fingers and a lung ended up bleeding to death as a result of his injuries.

Suddenly, Cater went berserk and Lilia went into a murderous rage, both of them immediately going to attack each other.

Despite having his melee stat maxxed out, Lilia was the next to die because Cater stabbed him in the neck, followed by Cater dying because Rook stole his left femur.

Cater had managed to get some hits in on the few that were left, though, with multiple spoon stabs leading to the death of Epel

Trey claimed yet another kill, this time it was Rook because this happened:

I'm just as scared as you probably are rn.

Somehow Deuce managed to not bleed to death despite the multiple agonizing injuries Malleus had inflicted on him when he was still alive, but unfortunately his time had now come and blood loss took him like it took basically everyone else.

Suddenly. Trey lost it, he went absolutely berserk and his first target was Leona, halving his right leg before promptly stabbing him in the lung as one is usually capable of doing with a spoon.

Finally, only two were left. Trey and Jamil. One was whipped up in a bloodthirsty frenzy while the other was panicking and trying not to die, but there was nowhere to run, and Trey had Jamil in his sights.

He rushed Jamil, injuring his left arm a few times before using a SPOON to CUT OFF his right arm, causing Jamil to collapse and bleed out.

Somehow, in spite of everything, Trey managed to survive with only two bruises. I guess this is the power of the staggeringly ugly trait lol