#when katniss tells peeta she needs him in catching fire do you think that means she's emotionally codependent or whatever...no...it doesn't

[maddy-ferguson]

i feel like being a bit of a hypocrite is inherent to choosing a side in a love triangle and i don't mind idc i will always be a hypocrite

[thegreenthepeacetheorange]

Everlark (Catching Fire, Ch. 12-13)

katniss just eating cheese buns and watching peeta sketch - the life!

it's actually crazy to see katniss still trying to be like 'peeta is just my friend' when she quite literally is prepared to die for him, while her mother and prim are still alive

peeta automatically deciding to go in to protect her. no thoughts, just love for peeta

"my head's spiining from the drink, and i'm so wiped out, who knows what [peeta] could get me to agree to?" what a WILD thing to say. her reluctance to be around peeta because it means she might spill her real thoughts is so funny

once katniss decides she needs to save peeta, that's it. hey loyalties are so strong and her loyalty to (and love for peeta) takes over

when gale comes and says it's not too late to run away, katniss says "and now i've got peeta to protect. end of discussion" and tells him it is. like that's her man and she's sticking by him

in all seriousness, katniss is a girl who is quite selfish. like she has been so preoccupied with her survival so long that she often just thinks in the immediate terms and it's usually to do primarily with what she cares about. while peeta is quite selfless and puts her first by his nature, she tends to think of herself first (this isn't an attack on katniss). i'm just pointing out that now her selfish desire is wanting, NEEDING, to save peeta. he is completely tied to her personal wants.

peeta scolding hungover haymitch and katniss and katniss frowning because he's not hugging and kissing and comforting her is hilarious. like, you "chose" gale the last time you veered into those thoughts so um why are you expecting hugs and kisses? she's so unintentionally funny

the catching fire movie stole so much from us, like peeta, katniss and haymitch training.

katniss is about to go back into the hunger games, like girl's got problems and gale is like "so what are we?" like... come up with something else!

[paintedpeeta]

We don’t talk enough about how it’s canon that Peeta spends a lot of time staring at Katniss. Post war Katniss is probably wondering about his feelings meanwhile Haymitch can’t stand the constant 👀 going on.

The toast babies probably: dad’s intensely staring at mom again

no because i feel we’ve spoken about katniss staring at him (like his eyelashes, and his hands while he works) but he is definitely as down bad as she is. when she sees all of his paintings in catching fire she tells us that she’s everywhere in them... he literally has her face ingrained in his memory.

a lot of the time she’s pretty oblivious, especially early on when they’re both sort of pining after the other but haven’t yet made that leap from friends to something more. When they begin their relationship she’s more aware of it but it makes her pretty shy and defensive at first - he’ll be staring at her when she’s concentrating on something like restringing her bow, or watching her when she wakes up in the morning after a long night together and she’ll snap at him to ask what he’s staring at (she thinks it’s because her hair looks like a birds nest in the latter situation)((and she hates being laughed at)). sometimes they both end up in fits of laughter because he gets caught staring and then they both get caught in a loop of “what?” “what?” “what?”

going back to the painting thing, after they grow back together he probably has sketchbook upon sketchbook just filled with doodles and drawings of her. she doesn’t need to model for him, he knows her like the back of his hand. since he had his memories scrambled by the hijacking, i think it would be important for him to commit his new memories to a physical medium like drawings or photographs (i headcanon that they have a camera for that reason, losing his memories again becomes one of his biggest fears for obvious reasons). she understands his need to do that and so she doesn’t get annoyed when he stares at her while she lounges on the couch because she knows he’s probably just memorising it to sketch later.

it’s not even just the staring either, there’s a lot of stolen glances and wordless communication done only with their eyes. when they’re cooking together or on a walk out to the meadow, he’s always giving a quick look over and a smile at her. when they’re out in a social setting all that’s needed is one glance to communicate that it’s time to go, or when something ridiculous happens they give each other a look and they just know they’re going to laugh about it later that night (please do not do anything embarrassing infront of everlark they will be in bed flaming you and creasing with laughter at your expense. they’re mean as FAWK).

and of course i love the idea of haymitch just being like “blerghhhh can you guys please get a room”. they probably put him through the wringer in those early years and test his stomach strength with their ickiness. their children too learn the hard way that mom and dad are obsessed with each other, or maybe they don’t even notice because they’re so used to it and they think other people are weird.

[kitkats-and-kittens]

Still on my Hunger games grind, so can we talk about the relationships I legit never see discussed?

I’m talking about the other victors and their relationships with each other. Like from the way they interact and what we hear about them in catching fire they are all clearly friendly, or as a bare minimum, tolerable with each other.

And although they seem to stick with making friends primarily within their own circle we have evidence that they do establish personal connections with each other’s outside of their district.

People like Haymitch and Chaff or Finnick and Johanna. Honestly it makes sense since the victors all have shared trauma and can understand what they’re all going through, but I need to know how and when this begins?!?!?

Like in Catching Fire Katniss clearly doesn’t like them, at least at the beginning, and of course it makes sense since she doesn’t know them and never gets the chance too because of the quarter quell, but knowing what they’ve all gone through I honestly felt so upset when her and Peeta were making fun of them.

Still, I wonder what their relationships with the victors would have been like had the quarter quell had been different. I don’t think Katniss and Peeta would have trauma bonded with them in quite the same way as other victors had, but I’m so sad they never got to see the other victors behind the persona the Captiol crafted for them.

Also speaking of newer tributes relationships with other victors, what I really want to see is Finnicks relationship with them. I mean he was the youngest presumably for a good few years since the way I’ve always seen it is 18/17 year olds win the most often for obvious reasons and every couple of years you might get a 16 year old with 15 year olds being extremely rare.

But like if they’re used to 16, 17 and 18 year olds who age into adults only a few years after their games then what was it like having a full on child running around the Capital with them for like 3 years?!?

Like okay maybe I’m reaching, but I feel like in mockingjay Finnick had a really close relationship with Beetee and Haymitch. I don’t want to say it was parental, but since they were both quite a bit older than Finnick when he won his games I think it would’ve been them, as well as Mags who kinda showed Finnick how to be a Victor and maybe even helped protect him since the Captiol was being so, well…Captiol.

Honestly the idea of the older victors all helping to mentor the younger ones on how to be victors is so sad but in like a bittersweet kind of way.

And Beetee making Finnick the trident to distract him from Annie while Haymitch tried to convince him not to do the propo has my whole heart.

If you couldn’t tell by this post the victors and their respective endings make me so sad.

[gurindeen]

Rant time!

I have just finished watching Catching Fire after rereading the Catching Fire book and???? WHERE IS PEETA. Where is Peeta the whole time in this movie? He just kind of sits there with quizzical looks on his face. I get it, it’s a long story to condense into 2h26min, but. Peeta is such a central character in this book. I’m upset.

I may be overfangirling this but if I didn’t know the story I guess I’d be really confused as to why Katniss wanted Peeta to be the one who lives so badly. I just feel like he wasn’t given much depth in the CF movie. Which is weird considering I think the movies did a pretty good job with that in THG. Peeta is so brilliant, kind and present this entire book.

On top of that, Katniss and Peeta don’t really seem to share what is going on, or even support each other that much. Aside from the scene where Peeta’s heart stops, which is very good, they feel distant. When they talk on the beach, it feels off. Why do you even need him, movie!Katniss? You look like coworkers or something. Weird. Where is everlark understanding and leaning on each other so much that Katniss wouldn’t risk Peeta removing his goddamn makeup in his own room because they might lock him away from her for the night? You know what I mean?

And what’s with Katniss kissing Gale before the reaping, while he’s fully awake and well? That is substantially different from kissing him when he was passed out and wishing him to not remember it the day after. (not me whining because evethorne got this and we didn't get the picnic scene)

What irks me the most about all of this is: why? I’m pretty sure it was of knowledge when the movie was made that Peeta mattered quite a lot to the story and to Katniss - because if he didn’t, if he was just some cute teammate with a crush on her, who she gives only one and a half fuck about - none of it would have happened. No berries, no defiance, no Snow using Peeta to hurt the Mockingjay and deeply as he could. No reason to have hope, no dandelion. No revolution!

With Peeta, I feel like this movie stripped him down to ill assorted bit of the love triangle. Which is not only annoying, but downright Capitol level of treating love as marketing. And stupid, because, as I hinted above, the books where already fully out, right? Before rewatching CF, I was just talking to a friend who hasn't read the books and she said - oh, I didn't think Katniss actually liked Peeta, thought it was just the shared trauma. Yes. That's what it looked like in this movie. And not because they were trying to not focus on love, because they've amped the love triangle thing up. So I don't get it. Why do you always have to take a nice character and treat them like less just because they’re nice? (Ron Weasley I'm talking about you) Tell me, am I exaggerating? Do I just love Peeta too much?

[vasilissadragomir]

GIRL! What you mean you also writing about katniss's period in your fanfic too. Please tell me more about it, I'd love to know!

LMAO okay sooooo without spoiling too much i just think that it’s very important for katniss to experience her body operating as normal for literally the first time in her life. even before the games/the incomprehensibly stressful circumstances of catching fire/the war she was malnourished. perhaps not as badly as most others in the seam, or even in the town bc it seems meat was hard to come by even for peacekeepers and merchants, but she absolutely was underfed and lacking essential nutrients. so even if she was getting a period, like you said, it most certainly wasn’t quite normal or regular.

but periods aren’t just about actual bleeding or physical symptoms, ofc. her body likely never experienced the full breadth of hormonal fluctuation people go through during a healthy menstrual cycle. we know katniss is often moody and irritable because a) she’s a teenager b) she’s starving and c) she’s stressed out of her mind in constant survival mode, but she’s almost always in control. what happens when her hormones, allowed to function for the first time as they’re meant to, take control of her body like they do for most teenagers w periods? especially with all the emotional upheaval of the war and losing prim, i bet experiencing pms for the first time sends her into a tailspin. she’s probably crying a lot, eating a lot, and feels like everything is coming apart around her at the littlest things. which, compounded with the ptsd and grief, and the first time lack of need to be in survival mode, is overwhelming and causes her to act impulsively.

not to mention, of course, why we get periods in the first place. how does peeta’a presence interact with her body’s discovery of its normal function, especially this function? we know they grow back together. we know she feels that thing again. we know so after. but what happens between those things? it’s implied that katniss and peeta are at least kissing before so after. what is it that motivates katniss to kiss him back, beyond, of course, love? katniss likes kissing. she says when she’s kissing gale that it reminds her that her body’s alive. what is it like for her to kiss the person she actually loves when her body is healthy enough to urge her on?

now, of course katniss knows about periods, their symptoms, and sex/pregnancy. a pet peeve i have in fics is when people act like katniss doesn’t know about this stuff because she’s “pure” or, frankly, because readers see district 12 as backwards and uneducated or something. but katniss’ mom is an apothecary. katniss absolutely knows the clinical ins and outs of puberty. but at the same time, i bet she never really expected all that stuff to happen to *her* the way it does to other people. she’s always been in control while in district 12 up until the end of the war. why would something like a hormonal shake-up change that? i don’t think she’ll recognize what’s happening to her (im shocked by it every month, and ive had a semi-regular period for more of my life than not and i knew what to expect from like age 5). when she does realize it, she’ll likely be in denial about it.

i also think this is a great opportunity for katniss and her mom to bond and begin to repair their relationship. because for the first time, katniss actually will, palpably, *need* her mom and her expertise in a way she hasn’t in over five years.

[buffyspeak]

one of my least favorite book-to-screen changes in thg is a really specific moment between gale and peeta, where peeta is expressing that they should kill him or at least give him something to do it himself with because he can’t control himself and will be a hindrance to the mission.

in the movie, gale says, “i’ll kill you myself before that happens,” in response to peeta saying he needs a nightlock pill so he can die when he needs to - aka, before he gets triggered and tried to kill katniss again. gale’s response in the movie is obviously and exclusively a confirmation that he will kill peeta if it means protecting katniss. which is true enough to his character, but i think fundamentally misinterprets the scene in mockinjay, the book.

in the book, while it’s true that he’s insistent for a while on them leaving him because he’s a danger, when it’s pointed out to him that people from the capital could find him, he is Terrified of that. he says something like, “maybe you think it’s kinder to just dump me somewhere, but that’s as good as leaving me in the hands of the capital.”

and gale’s response is, “i’ll kill you before that happens. i promise.”

and! in another story, in another world, maybe just in a different interaction in this world, this would maybe be a threat, but this is gale showing peeta a kindness! a morbid one, to be sure, but a kindness all the same. he knows what it is to prefer to die over being trapped in the custody of the capital, knows what they did to peeta, and unlike before, when he was too wrapped up in his rage and grief and anger to see the horrible position peeta was in when filming the capital’s props, he is able to extend him this one courtesy. it’s the “i promise” that really gets me because it’s, again, a very morbid but still real display of comfort, of friendship that’s never really between them but that he is able to display here. (it's also a parallel to earlier in the book, when he callously asks katniss if she wants him to kill a hijacked peeta for her, because even though hijacked peeta is so different from his old self, so cruel in some ways in that moment, it disturbs her that gale would offer this because he's still a person. but in this scene, gale isn't saying this callously or to be cruel or out of jealousy. he is saying it because he understands peeta's fear and knows it's not unfounded.)

and i guess this change maybe bothers me because it speaks to a certain fandom rhetoric (and the promotion of the films didn’t really help on this front) that gale and peeta, like. hate each other when they… just don’t?

don’t get me wrong, there are some mutual resentments between them that we see in catching fire and especially in mockingjay, and katniss is right in saying they’re not friends, with gale criticizing him for the capital propos and a hijacked peeta more obviously displaying a callous kind of jealousy that he’s never quite expressed all that much, at least vocally, before. (the closest he got was in catching fire, when he asked katniss if she really only kissed gale once.)

but also. peeta defends gale at the whipping post, helps to carry him back, and offers to watch him so that katniss can rest. and yes, maybe those are both things he does for katniss (though i would actually argue i think he would’ve helped gale even without katniss there at the whipping post). gale helps peeta and haymitch and katniss train with snares and traps, and after, in what i think is one of the most interesting things to note about their dynamic, laments that “it would be better if he were easier to hate.” and that's the whole goddamn point, isn't it? katniss even laughs and says, "tell me about it," lamenting that she couldn't just hate and discard him in the first arena. peeta includes gale in the locket reminding katniss why she needs to live. gale plays real or not real with peeta, and tells him things about their shared, destroyed District Twelve that he doesn’t really remember. he gets peeta water in the middle of the night since he’s restrained and can't get it for himself.

and he promises to kill peeta before the capital can take him, knowing why peeta would consider that the more merciful thing. he's even the one who eventually does give peeta his own nightlock pill. and peeta expresses concern for him, too, in case he needs it, but gale assures him he's got his own detonating arrows and katniss herself if he needs a quick mercy kill.

and yes, a lot of those things are at least partly for katniss, but the point is also that they’re there, these kindesses are there, that people aren’t simply violent, malicious monsters, the way that the games are intended to convince people of. even between two boys who love the same girl and don’t really know what to do about it, who somewhat resent each other for it, there is still the capacity for kindness, for understanding.

and it just bothers me, i guess, because while those other small moments are important, gale’s promise here is one of the few kindnesses between them that doesn’t really have much to do with katniss - who, even knowing how lost and unstable and potentially dangerous to the mission and she herself is, can’t even pay lip service to the idea that she’ll kill peeta if it comes to it. she shows she could do it if she has to, she almost does when the mutts are approaching and peeta is whispering her name along with them in his sleep -but she can’t provide him the comfort of saying it, wondering privately if it's because she cares about him or because she's using him in her own private Game against Snow - but gale can. and gale does.

and it just bothers me, even though it’s such a small moment, because despite gale and peeta’s many, many differences, it is one of the few moments of genuine understanding and camaraderie we see between them, finally unmarred or complicated by their mutual feelings for katniss.

[peetapiepita]

Katniss Everdeen and her complex links to cats

Never thought I’d write an entire essay on Katniss and cats, but here we are.

I got this idea from the fact that the male lead of my other favorite series His Dark Materials, Will Parry, has a cat Daemon. (It basically means his soul takes on the form of a cat and I think it might be the same case with Katniss.) He was compared to and linked to cats throughout the story. The same goes for Katniss and she has such a cat-like personality when you think about it.

I also got inspired by a stray cat who suddenly scratched me lightly when I was playing with it. It was getting along with me so well, but scratched me with absolutely no warning and got back to being friendly and purring in an instant. That reminded me of Katniss.

We all know how Katniss hates cats and cat-like creatures, specifically Buttercup and the lynx who was following her around the woods. They both had complex relationships with her as well. Buttercup had a reason to distrust her, yet they were the only ones who could really feel the loss of Prim the same way, so Katniss found comfort in Buttercup at the end of Mockingjay. The lynx was trusting Katniss for no reason and she was conflicted about it because she’s protective in nature and she hated she had to hurt it, but she did it for survival anyway.

This is true of Katniss’ relationship with herself in a way. She tries not to argue for herself ever and lists all her imperfections constantly.

Of course, her relationships with cat-like creatures is not the only thing linking her to cats. She has a very cat-like personality, especially when she interacts with Peeta.

People familiar with cats would tell you that with most cats, even when they act like they don’t give a shit about you and even avoid you, they actually take notice of the humans around them and when you’re kind to them, they’re drawn to you by default. They may try to act indifferent, but it shows.

It’s exactly how Katniss is in her relationship with Peeta. She tries so hard to convince herself that she isn’t drawn to him and doesn’t need him. But when she’s at her most vulnerable, she trusts him and wants him around.

For instance, when she hurts her ankle in Catching Fire, she trusts Peeta to understand what happened and leans on him for support. He in turn delivers a brilliant performance for the peacekeeper and understands that Katniss was hurt while the others are oblivious, even her family. When she’s under the influence of sleep syrup and at her most vulnerable, she’s finally willing to admit she wants Peeta to stay and hold her, even when moments earlier, she was like, I choose the rebellion and Gale. And when they’re on the train to the Quarter Quell, she finally lets herself get loose and initiates an intimate hug. She doesn’t want to let go and is annoyed when they’re interrupted. She’s practically purring when touched by Peeta because she feels safe with him. That’s so cat-like.

These are so cat behaviour to me. It also makes sense that I see a lot writers giving Katniss lines like “I’m not good with words, I work better with actions.” Yes, she’s like that and that’s very cat-like. And with cat-like people, when they get attached to someone, they don’t let go. This is also part of why Will reminded me of Katniss. He literally goes through a bunch of worlds in search of Lyra after losing her. Katniss is like that with Peeta. When she loses him, she’s inconsolable. She’d do anything to get him back.

Last but not the least, Katniss’ name is also very similar to “cat”. I’ve seen quite a few people’s head canons with other character nicknaming her “Kat”. Once you make the connection, you can’t unsee it.

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Hey ! So I have always hated Peeta trying to sacrifice himself for Katniss in the first book. Cuz he didn't know her , talked to her never , if she were a little more selfish she could just straight off used him in the games ... Like he just signed up to be used ! What if he misjudged her ?? What if she were a horrible person .Do you agree with the love at first song trope ? 1st book Peeta's alibi is a complete mess imo. Perspective please.

(I kinda feel like his elder sister )

Okay look. It's not a popular opinion but *takes a deep breath and braces myself* I agree with you in principle. Look. I used to think I was a hopeless romantic, but I have never bought into the idea that Peeta was so madly in love with Katniss going into the 74th Games that he was willing to die specifically to save her. I don't buy into love at first sight (first song ha! love it), and insta-love is one of my least favorite tropes. My congratulations to those of you who've found and managed to maintain a love at first sight. I am not one of them.

Love has many different forms and definitions, so maybe Peeta did love Katniss in a way before the Games, but as you point out --- he didn't know her. He'd never talked to her. He had a crush on her going into those first Games and maybe loved the IDEA of her, but not Katniss herself.

As for the self-sacrificing nature of Peeta's love... Okay look. Peeta tells us that he wants to die as himself. He wants his death to MEAN something, because in a twisted way, if his death is meaningful, then his life was meaningful. He wasn't just a pawn, a piece in their Games. If his death means something, then he's broken the Capitol's beliefs and treatment of district citizens, albeit in a somewhat quiet fashion, since I don't think Peeta intends to spark rebellion, just like Katniss doesn't. His desire to die a meaningful death is more philosophical than revolutionary in his eyes.

So how does he make his death meaningful? By ensuring someone else lives, in this case, specifically someone who is NEEDED back home. Prim and her mother rely on Katniss, and Peeta appears to have some awareness of this. But there's more than just that. I work in book world primarily, and one of the things the books has in it that the movies cut is the fact that every month for the year after their Games, the home district of the victor receives a train full of gifts from the Capitol -- food, resources, etc. It's part of the reason the Career Districts are so reviled. They keep winning. They keep getting the treats from the Capitol. They're not struggling as much. In fact, Katniss tells us in Catching Fire that the days when the gifts arrive in district 12 are some of the few days when she feels GOOD about winning the Games... why? Because her victory benefited someone else besides herself. A LOT of someone's besides herself.

So, if we apply this to Peeta... whose own mother doesn't think he'll win, (but Katniss might!) then what we get is a boy who understands that even if he doesn't have much of a chance of winning, his district partner does. And if his district partner wins... then his entire district, all of his friends, all of his family, everyone he knows, will benefit from his death for AN ENTIRE YEAR. So no, I don't think he chose to do everything in his power to keep Katniss alive and get her the victor's crown solely as a means of expressing his undying love for her. His crush on her is certainly a complication and added motivation to his plans, but I do not think it was the sole motivating factor.

In fact, he seems surprised and GRATEFUL when she actually comes to find him after the rule change. He understands that she didn't have to do that to keep herself alive. From his perspective, she doesn't need him to win, so why the heck would she burden herself with someone who is sick and probably dying when, if she'd just left him to die in the stream, she could climb a tree and pick the other tributes off one by one now that she's got the bow and arrows. Hence the beginning of Peeta believing that she actually cares for him and the development of their confused relation and affection for one another in the first arena. And from there it just spirals but that's a discussion for another day/ask. ;)

One of the things that I love about this series is the ways in which it examines our extremely complicated and convoluted motivations for our actions and choices. Since we are in Katniss's head we get to see that played out in her thoughts and through her choices, but I personally don't think it's fair to boil Peeta's choices in the first book down to "because he loved Katniss so much." Played a factor? sure. Sole motivation? I don't buy that, but that's just my opinion on the matter, lol. Does this help soothe your indignant older sister feelings?

oh also, I got your prompt. It gave ma a chuckle and I do plan to write it, but I gotta do some research for a paper at some point this weekend, lol.

[heavensbeehall]

"Catching Fire", Chapter 22

Part 3: The Enemy

Chapter 22: The morphling woman dies. Peeta talks to her. The monkeys vanish. Their poison blisters start to itch. Katniss and Peeta go to sleep to allow Finnick to grieve for Mags. Haymitch sends ointment for their gas burns. Katniss and Finnick play a prank on Peeta. Another parachute arrives with bread and Katniss assumes this means she is to be friends with Finnick. The District 5 female is killed by the tidal wave wedge. Johanna, Beetee and Wiress arrive on the beach. Johanna got them out for Katniss. And tick-tock the arena is a clock.

-- Peeta sees Katniss take care of Beetee and Wiress and thinks she'd make a good healer. Katniss disagrees but she seems okay doing a lot of unpleasant things if she likes someone. I would like to know if you guys thinks Katniss could be a healer when she grows up?

Quotes:

Peeta drops the sheath and buries his knife into the monkey's back, stabbing it again and again until it releases its jaw. He kicks the mutt away, bracing for more. [...]

"Come on, then! Come on!" shouts Peeta, panting with rage. But something has happened to the monkeys. They are withdrawing, backing up trees, fading into the jungle, as if some unheard voice calls them away. A Gamemaker's voice, telling them this is enough.

I want to bring this part up for two reasons:

Peeta basically says "Come at me, bro!" to the monkeys. And that makes me laugh.

Also, there is this misconception that Peeta is useless in the arena. Peeta doesn't kill a lot (human or animal), but he will, despite what Katniss said before about him trying to negotiate at the Cornucopia. I imagine this is much what happens with Brutus and Chaff. Though we don't "see" it, we are told later that--during the confusing night just before Katniss blows up the forcefield--Peeta sees Brutus kill Chaff. (I assume Chaff was trying to protect Peeta and jumped in, much like the morphling does here.) Enraged, Peeta then kills Brutus. I don't need canon to tell me that Peeta fucked Brutus up either. I know it in my heart. Chaff was Haymitch's pal.

Peeta crouches down on the other side of her and strokes her hair. When he begins to speak in a soft voice, it seems almost nonsensical, but the words aren't for me. "With my paint box at home, I can make every color imaginable. Pink. As pale as a baby's skin. Or as deep as rhubarb. Green like spring grass. Blue that shimmers like ice on water." The morphling stares into Peeta's eyes, hanging on to his words

Katniss herself notes the similarities between this and her singing to Rue. This is the first games where Peeta lost an ally.

His eyes are still puffy but I pretend not to notice.

I consider this a sign of true friendship.

I draw back an arrow, readying for an attack. But all that happens is that the one who was being dragged collapses on the beach. The dragger stamps the ground in frustration and, in an apparent fit of temper, turns and shoves the circling, deranged one over. Finnick's face lights up. "Johanna!" he calls, and runs for the red things.

Not Finnick knowing it was Johanna from her kicking someone apparently injured.

It takes a moment to place Blight. I think he was Johanna's male counterpart from District 7, but I hardly remember seeing him. Come to think of it, I don't even think he showed up for training.

Johanna and Blight are here. They like trees and they don't give a fuck.

There's no choice but to strip him naked to get him clean, but I have to say this doesn't make much of an impression on me anymore. Our kitchen table's been full of so many naked men this year. You kind of get used to it after a while

Ah, the truth comes out. So her annoyance at Johanna being naked wasn't just about nudity. But who she got naked for.

I wonder if this is what it's like to have an older sister who really hates you.

Yes! I love Johanna and Katniss's relationship in Mockingjay. Sisters. Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch should adopt Johanna in the future because she is the only "sister" who would never remind her of Prim!

[youcantseeus-fan]

Fic: Too Good For This World (T, Haymitch, Peeta, Everlark)

Summary: Peeta brings Haymitch bread and Haymitch reflects on the two victors that he’s mentored. Takes place during catching fire.

Written for 2023 April Genres of Fan Fiction prompts. 

AO3 Series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3441499

Prompt - Not good enough (Angst 2) 

___________________________

“I brought you bread,” Peeta’s voice wakes Haymitch up. Haymitch realizes that he’s fallen asleep at his kitchen table again. He shakes himself.

“Thanks.”  

Peeta puts a loaf of the type of crusty bread that Haymitch favors on the table in front of him. It smells great.

“When was the last time that you ate?” Peeta asks as Haymitch tears off a piece of the bread.

“Don’t know. When was the last time you brought food?”

“Yesterday morning,” Peeta says, raising his eyebrows.

“Then that’s the last time I ate.”

“Haymitch! You need to take better care of yourself than this.”

Haymitch chews the bread and swallows. It’s as good as always. Would be better with some butter, but Haymitch doesn’t even want to consider the state of his refrigerator.

“Did you bring Katniss any bread?” Haymitch asks.  

And just like that, the boy is avoiding his eyes.

“No,” Peeta says, placing a ball of butter on the table in front of Haymitch. “I’m sure she doesn’t want me going over to her house all the time and making things awkward.”

“Because things sure aren’t awkward between you right now,” Haymitch says, rolling his eyes.  

Katniss and Peeta had some sort of falling out when Peeta found out that she wasn’t actually madly in love with him. Haymitch personally thinks that they could work it out if they would just talk to each other … and then he wonders to himself how he’s gotten roped into caring about the romantic doings of two sixteen-year-olds.

“Well, I’m not about to make them more awkward,” Peeta says. “I’ve already pushed myself into her life when I didn’t belong there once. I’m not doing it again.”  

Haymitch sighs. He’s pretty sure that Katniss is interpreting Peeta’s avoidance of her as anger and is sulking in return. Katniss is good at sulking.

“Boy—”

“It’s fine, Haymitch,” Peeta says. “I mean, everyone knows that I’m not really good enough for her anyway. It’s better if I just let her move on with her life.”  

Haymitch knows that he should tell him that it’s not really possible for him to just let Katniss “move on with her life.” They’re going to have to maintain the love story for much longer, probably for the rest of their lives. But something stops him from imparting this information to Peeta.

“Not good enough for her?” he asks, as he spreads butter on his bread. “I’m pretty sure that a significant portion of the district believes that she’s not good enough for you.”  

Peeta blinks. “You mean because of the whole merchant and Seam thing?”  

“Yeah,” Haymitch says, with a snort. “Because of a silly little thing like that.”  

“You know that I don’t care about that.”  

“Yeah,” Haymitch says. The boy has been very clear on that front. He seems almost offended when Haymitch brings it up. Even though it’s a division that governs almost all social interactions in District 12.

Really, Peeta is too good for this miserable world. Too good for Panem. Katniss is too good for Panem as well, what with the blistering sincerity and the volunteering for her sister. But it’s easier to forget with Katniss because she’s always sulking. With Peeta, it’s like the goodness just shines out of him.

“I brought you some jam as well,” Peeta says, placing a jar of strawberry jam in front of Haymitch, along with a butter knife.  

“Thanks.”

Haymitch doesn’t know how he ended up mentoring two victors who are actually good people, but it sometimes gives him an uneasy feeling. As if the world is just waiting to destroy them both.

[maedivae]

Book Katniss and Movie Katniss.

What key point or best qualities of Katniss' that lost in the movie adaptation?

What do you think about Jennifer Lawrence portrayal of Katniss?

Thank you, @curiouskatnisseverdeen

For context, my first exposure to the franchise was to the first movie as a kid on Netflix, I don't think Catching Fire was out yet on DVD or streaming services but I also don't remember seeing it in theaters, so I just read through all the books after that. And reread them a few times since then. Let me tell you, those were the quickest three books I've ever read, I wish I could knock out a whole series in two days like that nowadays.

Back then I was pretty neutral to Jennifer's portrayal because I felt like she was very unemotional but now, I think she's just subtle with her acting, it fits Katniss's character well. So I really do appreciate her, I like how you can visibly see her fear without it being overdone: when her whole body is shaking before going into the first arena or when Peeta runs into the forcefield. Stuff like that is really nice.

Though Jennifer Lawrence doesn't physically fit Katniss's description that much to me compared to the books, the height difference between her and Josh is just chef's kiss. Peeta short king is a retcon I enjoy, haha. I mean, Liam still towers over them both and Josh is still stocky which is accurate so it's not a problem. And even Peeta's big old brown eyes are cute. But enough about them, this is about Katniss.

I'd say the thing I miss most from book Katniss to movie Katniss is a lot of her sarcasm, wit, and just crazy jumping to conclusions stubborn Taurus moments within her inner dialogue which is hard to put to screen. Also, her angsty teenage moments where she sulks in her room after she shoots the apple in the pig's mouth.

I also feel like book Katniss is still more expressive emotionally than movie Katniss at points, for example she's a much more physically affectionate person and doesn't ignore Peeta as much in the first book as much as she seems to in the movie. Like she at least talks to Peeta and even laughs at his jokes somewhat early on, hell, she kisses his cheek (even if in her mind it's some sort of 'gotcha' to him). Of course she still doesn't want to interact with him since she doesn't want to get close to her competition, but she was clearly trying to fend it off in the books which isn't very clear in the movies. So I think a lot of movie-only people don't understand why they have the bond they do and even think Gale and her were in a relationship already while Peeta was just some random she had to get along with out of necessity when it's more complicated. I can only curse Gary Ross. Most of my problems with the movies are with the first one, the cave scene being egregious to me in how much was cut or changed to make Peeta seem like a weirdo lol.

Though this is also a Catching Fire thing in that Katniss isn't even that bad at acting for the cameras in the books. She does a decent job of acting like a girl in love, which is energy that isn't present on the victory tour (maybe for tone issues), but I thought it was needed in the cave scene. Like, Katniss may be a very closed off and private person, some would even say masculine, but she's still a teenage girl and acts like it often. And I think her 'act' for the cameras must've been believable enough since some of the people in District 8 questioned her about the baby.

As for Mockingjay, her relationship with Johanna would've been great to see, as she doesn't have a lot of female friendships in either the books or movies. Sure, she had Madge in the books and Effie is more developed in the movies, but I feel like she could talk to Johanna about Peeta and the Games, something she really needed when she couldn't talk to Gale about either and Finnick literally just got married pfft. They have a shared suffering with training and drug withdrawals and they understand each other's personalities. They comfort each other, Katniss in her caring way of seeing that Johanna has no one and no belongings to call her own, so she fetches some pine needles from the forest, while Johanna is able to shed some light on Peeta because they were both being tortured in the Capitol. They're just great. The movies already have points where Katniss helps out people who are less fortunate than her, but I thought this was one of the stronger ones since Johanna was keeping her up at night with her withdrawals lol. Letting Johanna curse her out at 2 AM when she herself has to recover from her gunshot wound.

Anyways, talking adaptations, I used to be very much against a reboot of the movies but a TV series could fit the format of the books really well, if it was done right. There's practically a cliffhanger every chapter so there's plenty to work off of in each episode to get people to continue watching. And of course, the movies are still there to watch (because I think Josh and a lot of other actors were perfect in their roles), it'd just be interesting to see a new take on it. Maybe with a bit more blood and more of the politics and relationship development that was cut out for runtime. My pipe dream is an animated show in the same vein as Arcane or something like that.

But I also appreciate how The Hunger Games hasn't had a thousand spin offs and extended universe tie-ins, I know when something good should just end. And that time has probably already passed, we got pretty good movies overall, so I can't be too picky. I don't think the prequel will reignite hype to the same extent as the originals, that time period was insane you know. However I am excited to see the world of Panem again. Maybe for the last time.

[lemonluvgirl]

Does Anybody Remember this From the Books?

I like how every so often we share some of our favorite lesser known lines and scenes from the book. So I thought I’d share one that always caught my attention when I was reading Catching Fire. It happens in chapter 4, once they get on the train for the Victory Tour. Does anybody else remember this?

And Peeta’s team is probably still asleep.” “Doesn’t he need prepping?” I ask. “Not the way you do,” Effie replies. What does this mean? It means I get to spend the morning having the hair ripped off my body while Peeta sleeps in. I hadn’t thought about it much, but in the arena at least some of the boys got to keep their body hair whereas none of the girls did. I can remember Peeta’s now, as I bathed him by the stream. Very blond in the sunlight, once the mud and blood had been washed away. Only his face remained completely smooth. Not one of the boys grew a beard, and many were old enough to. I wonder what they did to them. 

So home girl totally remembered Peeta’s chest hair from when she took him a bath during the games. And I just find this little line, inserted amidst the nervousness and frustration she’s going through to be very telling and cute. She paid attention, she remembers what he looks like without a shirt on. As she thinks about him she’s not repulsed or annoyed she had to bathe him. She’s kind of curious. This is crushing 101 ok? Katniss thinks he’s intriguing, despite her stance against nudity and her wariness of showing interest in boys. Her thoughts here are private and she is just reminicing. And not in a bad way. 

Ok, that’s it. I’m done now :) 

[endlessnightlock]

#2

2. "Fine. I'll do it."

Thank you, @lovely-tothe-bone. 

Was there a double meaning in that selection, lol?

This is set right before the Victory Tour in Catching Fire. A conversation between Prim and Peeta.

Prim toyed with her empty mug for something to do, turning it between her hands, coating the bottom in the deep brown dregs of what was left of her hot chocolate. She sighed under her breath, wishing she hadn’t finished it already. 

Much as she liked coming to Peeta’s house and keeping him company while Katniss was out in the woods or at the Hob---doing whatever it was she did to keep busy during the day--- their conversation had been stilted and awkward, but at least drinking her hot chocolate gave her something to do other than stare at the wall behind his head. To say the conversation hit an awkward spot was putting it mildly. Prim didn’t blame Peeta for his relative silence and discomfort. She sensed he was distracted. She knew he had to be concerned about the upcoming Victory Tour, just like Katniss was. 

Prim stopped fiddling with her mug. It was getting late and she ought to be heading home anyway, she realized, thinking about Mother’s warning to not let Katniss catch her coming back from Peeta’s house. Katniss was quiet enough these days--she became downright silent whenever that happened. Prim knew she wanted to ask her how Peeta was and what they were talking about, but wouldn’t allow herself. Prim didn’t volunteer much information about him. Katniss needed to talk to Peeta herself.

Katniss and Peeta were so dumb when it came to each other. Yeah, feelings were hurt on both sides, she understood that, but that wasn’t going to change by second-hand information.

Peeta got up from his seat at the counter and reached for Prim’s discarded mug. “Would you like another?” he asked in the way one person signals to the other that it’s alright to leave now, that they did their duty for the day and were free to leave without feeling guilty.

Prim knew Mother would be looking for her soon but the tremor in Peeta’s fingers around the handle of her mug gave her pause. She thought about the pitifully small number of people she’d seen coming and going from his house since he moved in after the Games. 

His brothers came once, she thought, maybe twice. A few boys and girls from he and Katniss’s grade at first. Lately the only one other than herself was Haymitch, and that was just sad.

Peeta’s house was nothing like the Everdeens where there were always people coming and going. Patients, the Hawthornes every week for Sunday dinners, Madge. Prim’s friends, one or the other of whom always ended up going home with her after school because the house in Victor’s Village was warm and there was always plenty to eat. It wasn’t charity to accept things you couldn’t repay later if you were an invited guest of the Victor’s sister.

Prim rested her hand on Peeta’s and smiled up at him. He looked relieved she wasn’t leaving. “Fine. I’ll do it,” she said, nodding at her mug. “Katniss will probably gripe when I don’t eat much at dinner, just so you know,” she threw out casually.

Peeta visibly stiffened at the mention of Katniss’s name. “She will?”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t really mean it,” Prim added, following him around the counter into the main area of his kitchen. “She thinks she needs to take care of me.”

Peeta laughed wryly at that and Prim had to bite back a smile. “She was like that with me too, in the arena, told me to shut up and eat my pears.”

“I bet you didn’t argue with her either,” Prim said casually.

Peeta shook his head. “No, I can’t say no to anything she tells me to do.”

When he fell silent, Prim put her hand on his shoulder. “She does care about you, you know. She is just... she’s sort of stupid when it comes to her own feelings. Too busy worrying about everyone else, I think. You should try talking to her.”

[katnissmellarkkk]

Elllow! Today’s bookcomb consists of Peeta being protective of Katniss. Could have been much more implied moments but here’s some explicit ones 🤗

-

But it’s too late to run. I pull a slimy arrow from the sheath and try to position it on the bowstring but instead of one string I see three and the stench from the stings is so repulsive I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I can’t do it.

I’m helpless as the first hunter crashes through the trees, spear lifted, poised to throw. The shock on Peeta’s face makes no sense to me. I wait for the blow. Instead his arm drops to his side.

“What are you still doing here?” he hisses at me. I stare uncomprehendingly as a trickle of water drips off a sting under his ear. His whole body starts sparkling as if he’s been dipped in dew. “Are you mad?” He’s prodding me with the shaft of the spear now. “Get up! Get up!” I rise, but he’s still pushing at me. What? What is going on? He shoves me away from him hard. “Run!” he screams. “Run!”

-

I trip and fall into a small pit lined with tiny orange bubbles that hum like the tracker jacker nest. Tucking my knees up to my chin, I wait for death.

Sick and disoriented, I’m able to form only one thought: Peeta Mellark just saved my life.

-

I jump as Peeta grips my shoulder from behind. “No,” he says. “You’re not risking your life for me.”

“Who said I was?” I say.

“So, you’re not going?” he asks.

“Of course, I’m not going. Give me some credit.”

-

Anger flushes my face. “All right, I am going, and you can’t stop me!”

“I can follow you. At least partway. I may not make it to the Cornucopia, but if I’m yelling your name, I bet someone can find me. And then I’ll be dead for sure,” he says.

“You won’t get a hundred yards from here on that leg,” I say.

“Then I’ll drag myself,” says Peeta. “You go and I’m going, too.”

-

“We’re going!” says Peeta, shoving the Peacekeeper who’s pressing on me. “We get it, all right? Come on, Katniss.” His arm encircles me and guides me back into the Justice Building.

-

Peeta steps up on a crate against the wall of the sweetshop and offers me a hand while he scans the square. I’m halfway up when he suddenly blocks my way. “Get down. Get out of here!” He’s whispering, but his voice is harsh with insistence.

“What?” I say, trying to force my way back up.

“Go home, Katniss! I’ll be there in a minute, I swear!” he says.

-

“He was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?” says the man.

“He’s her cousin.” Peeta’s got my other arm now, but gently. “And she’s my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us.”

-

When we’re outside, I turn to Peeta. “You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob.”

“I’ll go with you,” he says.

“No. I’ve dragged you into enough trouble,” I tell him.

“And avoiding a stroll by the Hob . . . that’s going to fix things for me?” He smiles and takes my hand. Together we wind through the streets of the Seam until we reach the burning building.

-

“Peeta’s argument is that since I chose you, I now owe him. Anything he wants. And what he wants is the chance to go in again to protect you,” says Haymitch.

I knew it. In this way, Peeta’s not hard to predict. While I was wallowing around on the floor of that cellar, thinking only of myself, he was here, thinking only of me. Shame isn’t a strong enough word for what I feel.

“You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know,” Haymitch says.

“Yeah, yeah,” I say brusquely. “No question, he’s the superior one in this trio. So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” Haymitch sighs. “Go back in with you maybe, if I can. If my name’s drawn at the reaping, it won’t matter. He’ll just volunteer to take my place.”

-

The reaping takes only a minute. Effie, shining in a wig of metallic gold, lacks her usual verve. She has to claw around the girls’ reaping ball for quite a while to snag the one piece of paper that everyone already knows has my name on it. Then she catches Haymitch’s name. He barely has time to shoot me an unhappy look before Peeta has volunteered to take his place.

-

“And I’m not saying I’m not going to try. To get you home, I mean. But if I’m perfectly honest about it. . .”

“If you’re perfectly honest about it, you think President Snow has probably given them direct orders to make sure we die in the arena anyway,” I say.

“It’s crossed my mind,” says Peeta.

-

I check over my weapons, which I know are in perfect condition, because it makes me seem more in control. “I’ll take the lead,” I announce.

Peeta starts to object but Finnick cuts him off. “No, let her do it.”

-

No one’s thrilled with the idea of me going off alone, but the threat of dehydration hangs over us.

“Don’t worry, I won’t go far,” I promise Peeta.

“I’ll go, too,” he says.

“No, I’m going to do some hunting if I can,” I tell him. I don’t add, “And you can’t come because you’re too loud.” But it’s implied. He would both scare off prey and endanger me with his heavy tread. “I won’t be long.”

-

Nothing. I find nothing. Not so much as a dewdrop. Eventually, because I know Peeta will be worried about me, I head back to the camp, hotter and more frustrated than ever.

-

I know it’s stopped when I feel Peeta’s hands on me, feel myself lifted from the ground and out of the jungle. But I stay eyes squeezed shut, hands over my ears, muscles too rigid to release. Peeta holds me on his lap, speaking soothing words, rocking me gently.

-

While Johanna collects water and my arrows, Beetee fiddles with his wire, and Finnick takes to the water. I need to clean up, too, but I stay in Peeta’s arms, still too shaken to move.

-

This is when Beetee reveals the rest of the plan. Since we move most swiftly through the trees, he wants Johanna and me to take the coil down through the jungle, unwinding the wire as we go. We are to lay it across the twelve o’clock beach and drop the metal spool, with whatever is left, deep into the water, making sure it sinks. Then run for the jungle. If we go now, right now, we should make it to safety.

“I want to go with them as a guard,” Peeta says immediately. After the moment with the pearl, I know he’s less willing than ever to let me out of his sight.

-

I’m so light-headed I’ll black out in a matter of minutes. I’ve got to get away from this tree and —

“Katniss!” I hear his voice though he’s a far distance away. But what is he doing? Peeta must have figured out that everyone is hunting us by now. “Katniss!”

-

Caesar leans in to him a little. “I think it was clear to all of us what your plan was. To sacrifice yourself in the arena so that Katniss Everdeen and your child could survive.”

“That was it. Clear and simple.” Peeta’s fingers trace the upholstered pattern on the arm of the chair.

-

A hush has fallen over the room, and I can feel it spreading across Panem. A nation leaning in toward its screens. Because no one has ever talked about what it’s really like in the arena before.

Peeta goes on. “So you hold on to your wish. And that last night, yes, my wish was to save Katniss.”

-

“When that wire was cut, everything just went insane. I can only remember bits and pieces. Trying to find her. Watching Brutus kill Chaff. Killing Brutus myself. I know she was calling my name. Then the lightning bolt hit the tree, and the force field around the arena . . . blew out.”

“Katniss blew it out, Peeta,” says Caesar. “You’ve seen the footage.”

“She didn’t know what she was doing. None of us could follow Beetee’s plan. You can see her trying to figure out what to do with that wire,” Peeta snaps back.

-

Peeta’s on his feet, leaning in to Caesar’s face, hands locked on the arms of his interviewer’s chair. “Really? And was it part of her plan for Johanna to nearly kill her? For that electric shock to paralyze her? To trigger the bombing?” He’s yelling now. “She didn’t know, Caesar! Neither of us knew anything except that we were trying to keep each other alive!”

Caesar places his hand on Peeta’s chest in a gesture that’s both self-protective and conciliatory. “Okay, Peeta, I believe you.”

-

Gale’s expression darkens. “Peeta might have done a lot of damage tonight. Most of the rebels will dismiss what he said immediately, of course. But there are districts where the resistance is shakier. The cease-fire’s clearly President Snow’s idea. But it seems so reasonable coming out of Peeta’s mouth.”

I’m afraid of Gale’s answer, but I ask anyway. “Why do you think he said it?”

“He might have been tortured. Or persuaded. My guess is he made some kind of deal to protect you. He’d put forth the idea of the cease-fire if Snow let him present you as a confused pregnant girl who had no idea what was going on when she was taken prisoner by the rebels. This way, if the districts lose, there’s still a chance of leniency for you. If you play it right.” I must still look perplexed because Gale delivers the next line very slowly. “Katniss . . . he’s still trying to keep you alive.”

To keep me alive? And then I understand. The Games are still on. We have left the arena, but since Peeta and I weren’t killed, his last wish to preserve my life still stands. His idea is to have me lie low, remain safe and imprisoned, while the war plays out. Then neither side will really have cause to kill me. And Peeta? If the rebels win, it will be disastrous for him. If the Capitol wins, who knows? Maybe we’ll both be allowed to live — if I play it right — to watch the Games go on. . . .

-

Caesar and Peeta have a few empty exchanges before Caesar asks him about rumors that I’m taping propos for the districts.

“They’re using her, obviously,” says Peeta. “To whip up the rebels. I doubt she even really knows what’s going on in the war. What’s at stake.”

-

He asks Peeta if, given tonight’s demonstration, he has any parting thoughts for Katniss Everdeen.

At the mention of my name, Peeta’s face contorts in effort. “Katniss . . . how do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe. Not in the Capitol. Not in the districts. And you . . . in Thirteen . . .” He inhales sharply, as if fighting for air; his eyes look insane. “Dead by morning!”

-

“Katniss!” He whips his head toward me but doesn’t seem to notice my bow, the waiting arrow. “Katniss! Get out of here!”

I hesitate. His voice is alarmed, but not insane. “Why? What’s making that sound?”

“I don’t know. Only that it has to kill you,” says Peeta. “Run! Get out! Go!”

-

[imkylotrash]

Whatever It Takes

Pairing: Finnick Odair x reader

Request: They’re getting ready to go into the Quarter Quell, and essentially have a super sweet conversation where they confess their love, and are like “damn the revolution I’ll protect you”. Anonymous

A/N It’s been a long time since I read the books so if I accidentally used the wrong word for something please let me know and I’ll correct it 💛

Tagging: @bitchwhytho​ @music-of-melody​

You called it before they even announce it. You knew all the victors would get involved in the Quarter Quell because how else would he get Katniss to be in the arena without letting the public know that it’s purely to kill her? When you hear Finnick’s name get called out, there’s no choice. But was there ever one to begin with?  

“I volunteer as tribute,” you say raising your hand to let them know that you’ll be going into the Quarter Quell and not that poor girl they’ve got on stage. You don’t look at Finnick because you know his face will just mirror back the pain you feel. No matter what the revolution has planned, you highly doubt that both of you gets out alive. The focus will be on Katniss because she’s the one that’s been fuelling the fire while the rest of you can die a martyr and inspire the people then Katniss’ death would squash the tiny flame. It’s not fair but she made everything possible when she took out those berries. 

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Finnick tells you once you’re on the train travelling to the Capitol. 

“There was no way I was going to let you go alone.” Not to mention that innocent girl who got drafted. You’d have been a proper piece of shit had you not volunteered. 

“But you could’ve survived. Don’t you understand that’s all I care about?” 

“Careful, Finnick. Someone might hear your declaration of love and think it means something else.” It’s a warning that the walls have ears and not necessarily just the Capitol’s ears. Although you both want to think only the best of the lovely Coin, you can’t help but feel like it’s too good to be true. And you have no doubt that she’s got as many spies all around as President Snow. 

“I just want you to live,” he says hearing your warning loud and clear. Katniss and to some extent Peeta are untouchable, you are not. He takes your hand without another word. The rest of the train ride you remain quiet, too worried about saying the wrong thing and jeopardising this whole thing. Haymitch is counting on to keep Katniss alive until the rescue mission and your lives can’t matter more than the entire of Panem. Even if you want to say screw that sometimes.

“God, you’ve gotten old,” you smile spotting Haymitch next to the star-crossed lovers. He scoffs but can’t help but laugh. You’ve known each other for quite some time now and learned a long time ago that humour is how you all get through this with at least some level of sanity.

“I see your kindness have only grown over the years,” he mocks before giving you a massive hug. Being a victor and having to mentor the kids every year creates a certain bond between you all but Haymitch has always been one of your favourites. It’s the reason you know you can trust him to do you a favour. 

“We should talk once all the celebrations die down. Catch up on old times,” you smile giving his shoulder a friendly squeeze. He agrees suggesting the rooftop for a gorgeous view. When Finnick sneaks his arm around you, there’s a slight pang of guilt but you force it to the back of your mind. He’s going to survive the Quarter Quell if you can do anything about it. 

“What did you talk about?” he asks quietly and you keep a smile on your face not even looking at him. 

“Just good old days,” you utter hoping Finnick will understand not to ask more questions right now. There are too many people around you to speak freely and, in a minute, you’ll have to get on that carriage and pretend you’re proud to be fighting once again. 

“Katniss, Peeta!” you call out catching their attention just as they’re about to get on their carriage, “nice costumes.” You’re trying to be nice and establish some sort of positive relation between you but all it does is make Katniss stare at you like you’re personally responsible for putting her in the Quarter Quell. 

“I already tried. Tough nut,” Finnick tells you. It makes sense why the revolution needs a face but why they would ever choose someone like Katniss is beyond you. She’s not kind or caring expect when it comes to the people she loves. The future of Panem seems oddly low on her list of priorities but then again when has war ever made sense? And you certainly can’t say you’re morally better than her. 

“Is holding hands a cliché?” You look over to Finnick who’s doing his very best to put on a brave face.

“I think it’s perfect.” You intertwine your fingers with his not letting go until the carriage has driven through those gates at the end where the public can’t see you anymore. And even then, it’s just to get some blood flow back. 

“I just want some sleep,” Finnick says itching to get the costume off and you’re thinking the same thing. You ride up in the elevator with Katniss, Peeta and Joanna which makes for an interesting end to the day. 

“Never a dull moment,” you say before exiting the elevator with Finnick. Joanna laughs loudly while both Katniss and Peeta looks slightly mortified. If she’s trying to win over Katniss, Joanna is doing a poor job. 

“Let’s take a shower,” Finnick suggests now that you’re finally alone and you’re all too happy to comply. In the shower you can finally speak freely with the sound of water drowning out the sound of your voices. 

“I know it’s horrible to say but the revolution doesn’t matter to me if I don’t have you next to me when it’s done.” He slowly lets his hands slide down your arms until they reach your hands. 

“I know,” you whisper feeling the exact same way. The guilt returns tenfold this time but you keep quiet knowing that when he’s sleeping tonight, you’ll be bargaining for his life. 

“I say damn the revolution. I swore to protect to you a long time ago and I’m not breaking that promise now.” He kisses you with a fire that tells you just how badly he wants to keep you safe. Desperation takes over your body as you kiss him back. You wish you could leave now and hide somewhere far away from everything. If it were up to you, you would’ve fled the moment you heard about the Quarter Quell. But it’s difficult leaving behind so many decent people who needs your help and the few moments of hesitation had been enough for the peacekeepers to show up and make sure you didn’t take off. Snow always knew you were a runner. 

“And I say you’re sounding crazy. We can’t change the plan now. There’s nowhere to run.” As much as you’d love to run away and hide with him, you know it’s too late for that now. You wouldn’t make it out of the building. 

“I don’t care if I sound crazy. We can protect each other in the arena, make sure we never part. And when they come get us, we make sure they grab both of us.” It’s cruel really to give hope to him because you know it won’t work but you wish it could be so easy. 

“And then when we’re out, we hide. No more war, no more revolution. Just you and me and a small cottage near the water.” Hope may be cruel but it’s a strong motivator to survive and if anything you need Finnick to survive. You hide your face in the crook of his neck allowing yourself to feel a pang of sadness at the prospect of the future you’ve lost. Your lives ended the day you got drawn for the Hunger Games. 

“And you can finally have enough quiet to paint,” he adds and you don’t have to see his face to see the affection in his eyes. 

“It would be perfect,” you say closing your eyes to picture the cottage and the life you could’ve had with Finnick. The water hides the tears that fall from your eyes and it’s a good thing because you’re not sure you would be able to hold your secret from spilling out if Finnick noticed. 

“I promise I will make it happen. I promise we’ll be alive to spend the rest of our lives together. Whatever it takes,” he says. Instead of answering him, you kiss him again. When the water turns cold, you get out and dry off. You both know that your safety is gone now and they can hear whatever you say so you keep quiet letting your eyes do the talking. You cuddle up in bed where you wait for him to drift off before you head to the roof where Haymitch is waiting. The wind is loud tonight working as a noise diffuser. 

“I want you to save him.” It doesn’t surprise Haymitch but you both know he can’t make any promises. 

“I know Katniss is the main goal and that’s she’s probably made some demand for Peeta. But if there comes a choice between saving Finnick or the rest, you save him. Do you understand?” It’s the least he can do for you after everything you’ve sacrificed for President Coin and the revolution. You could’ve had a life if things had gone differently. 

“And that includes me, Haymitch. Once you’ve gotten Katniss and Peeta out, Finnick is your priority,” you add knowing that if Haymitch could choose, he’d pick you. 

“Finnick will make more sense for the revolution. I won’t be an asset the way he can be.” He knows you’re right. Of course he does but it doesn’t mean he has to like it. 

“I know,” he grumbles. You both know there’s a good chance you won’t make it out of that arena but then again none of you have been safe ever since you became victors. Snow made sure of that. 

“Promise me. I need to hear you say it.” You’re not satisfied until you hear him say those words that will give Finnick a chance to make it. As much as you’d love to believe his plan of getting out of the arena together, you can’t afford to entertain the idea. Even if Finnick isn’t ready to admit it, you both know it’s a fairy tale ending you won’t get. 

“I always thought he was just your way of getting through it, you know. That he offered some sort of relieve.” Maybe at first Finnick was your escape from reality but not now. He’s your world and everything else. 

“He has my heart, Haymitch.” You hug him tightly hoping he knows how much his friendship has meant to you over the years of being a mentor.

“Take care,” he says before you spin around hurrying back. Finnick doesn’t wake up until you crawl back to bed but a quick excuse about the bathroom satisfies his curiosity. 

“I love you,” you whisper looking over at the man who’s given you so much more than you’ll ever be able to explain. 

“I love you more.”